seeing NPD + ASPD positivity posts on any other platform being met with literal thousands of people flooding the comments to try and justify their ableism and discriminatory behaviour towards us is so fucking gut wrenching

The way I feel about empaths is pretty much the way I feel about anyone who claims to have knowledge about anything.

Those who are the best at something and are the most trustworthy are always full of doubts. But people often prefer to trust the mediocre person with only a beginner's level of knowledge just because they sound more confident.

I treat empaths the same way. If you call yourself an empath and you're always full of doubts and acknowledging that you're probably wrong most of the time, then I trust you. If you call yourself an empath and you assume that whatever feels good for you is automatically good for others, then you're worse than anyone you label as a narcissist.

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.

everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent

but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should

you have any fucking word in the dictionary to describe your abuse. please stop using the one that describes a personality disorder

being like this and living with someone who doesn't understand is so hard.

Reminder for people with Personality Disorders:

You can be in therapy for years to be able to cope.

You can mask the difficulties you have.

You can cope well with your disorders.

You can function in daily life.

But the day you have a bad day, the day you're so overwhelmed that the mask slips and you simply say one thing, the neurotypicals will use it against you and use it to abuse you.

Abuse is a choice. Abusers make the choice to abuse someone. Not every abuser has a personality disorder. There are plenty of abusers that are Neurotypical. Plenty of neurotypicals will abuse those with PDs due to the stigma and misinformation around them.

Quit using terms like "Narcissistic/Histrionic/Borderline/Anti-Social Abuse"

Quit using "Narcissist" and "Anti-Social" as insults.

Quit justifying abuse towards people with PDs.

Quit armchair diagnosing abusers and assholes with Personality Disorders when you don't know the lived experience of people with them.

Stop fucking appealing to Neurotypicals.

I can't put into words how terrifying this new MRA rhetoric is that "rape is not really that bad" "it only lasts for a few minutes" which they will then use to justify less punishment for rapists, less help for women, as if rapists even get any punishment currently! And women who are raped are already told to move on or are ignored, or even accused I being an antagonist. They are always coming up with a new thing to silence us and they won't stop no matter how many women will say how traumatising it was for them they will just selectively pick the information that suits their agenda.

And their agenda is to rape women.

There is no point trying to explain to them how horrible it was for you because they are well aware. This is weaponised ignorance when men pretend they dont understand that their actions hurt women to get away with it. The only thing we can do is highlight that this is clearly a tactic in their war on women.

my abuser had brown hair im a victim of brunette abuse :(

This was shared by a narc abuse believer.

Meanwhile, they're the ones labeling all narcissists as inherently not lovable. They're the ones labeling narcissists as abusive by default and expecting narcissists to constantly prove otherwise.

Every accusation by a narc abuse believer is a confession.

Narcissists deserve to be loved. Narcissists should not have to constantly prove their worth. Narcissists should receive the same presumption of innocence as the average person. Narcissists should receive the same forgiveness as the average person.

It sickens me how you people silence us abuse victims with the whole "Ohhhh using narcissistic abuse is an ableist term", you don't realize that you're silencing us. You will never even BEGIN to understand the abuse and pain we all went through, all you care about is your political correctness and "ableism". You will never understand the pain of me being abused by my narcissistic mom, narcissistic dad, narcissistic sister, narcissistic brother, narcissistic grandma, narcissistic dog, narcissistic cats, narcissistic postman, narcissistic Silent Billy who lives in an apartment two blocks from me, narcissistic pigeons, narcissistic mosquitoes, narcissistic wasps, narcissistic houseplants, narcissistic construction site, narcissistic pavement, narcissistic clouds, narcissti

I wish people who believe in narcissistic abuse and act like people with NPD are so evil were not even human understood that having NPD can absolutely motivate people to do good things.

I have NPD and I work in education. At the school I work at, we have a couple Ukrainian kids who don’t speak English. I have begun learning Ukrainian (or well, trying to, this is my first time trying to learn a language that uses a different alphabet than English so progress is slow), specifically because I want to be the one to make these kiddos feel welcome. I want to be the one teacher who has put in effort to learn their language, rather than just trying to teach them ours. That’s a good thing to do, but if I didn’t have NPD I probably wouldn’t bother to do that and would just use google translate (like all the rest of the teachers).

I, like other narcissists, find that most of my motivation comes from looking for another narc high, and for me, I am much more likely to get a narc high from doing something good and feeling good about myself because I did something good, than I ever would from making someone else feel bad about themself. Why would I spend my time going around hurting other people for no reason when I could put my effort into doing something actually cool and then everyone will think I’m awesome because I actually did something awesome?

I know I’m not the only narcissist like this, but sure, let’s keep spreading the rhetoric that narcissists only exist to hurt people.