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sunnycanwrite · 8 months

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things that have happened recently in Wayne Manor:

Alfred removed all the curtains to air then out and discovered someone has been writing on them for years.

Cow shaped hooveprints were found on the hood of Dick's car

Cow shaped hooveprints were found on the hood of Jason's car

Damian decided to move out for a good two days before showing up again, and had been clingy since, weird

Tim found out he has a gluten allergy and has been in a one sided argument with Alfred over it.

Someone thought it was funny to hid every single mug in the house in Duke's closet it was not at all he opened it and a fed of the fell over and broke.

Cass fell asleep on the couch only to awake up in a completely different part of the house, her brother's fighting over what animated barbie movie to watch. They chose the twelve dancing princesses of course.

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inkedberries · 4 months

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after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

#a very notice-me-senpai moment #lol idk i just can't stop thinking about this exchange i thought up whenever batman calls supes out for 'showing off'#GAAAHHH I LOVE THEM #superbat #batman #superman #world's finest #my art #fanart #man i just love an oblivious batman

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theotherendcomics · 4 months

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#batman with a gun #web comic #comic #funny comic #lol

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spicy-apple-pie · 6 months

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AU where Damian feels really bad for hurting Tim but won't admit it out loud, so he goes into over protective mode.

... I made a part 2...

...Part 3...

EDIT: PROSHIPPERS GET OUT OF HERE YOU GOOFS

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batbabydamian · 3 months

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*you opening the love letter* what does your damijon look like, pls pls pls pls pls pls pls, i know it would be so cute, i just know it 🙏🙏🙏

here you go! thank you for the ask, this was a lot of fun to do! they're working on a case together ^^

#ask #super sons #jondami #damian wayne #jon kent #batbabyart #after getting this ask i couldn't stop thinking about older Damian outfits 😭#just based on comic artists throughout the years Damian's got a fairly decent range of style it was hard to choose but v fun!!#Jon's wearing a bunch of layers to cover up bulk while Damian's layering to give off more bulk LOL #i decided to lean a bit into Cizmesija's recent look for him and contrast Jon's more colorful casual wear #didn't want tooo much Batman 666 vibes so i tried giving Damian another color option thru A but i still liked B more lol #also every time i draw older Damian his hair keeps changing sdfgh that one poll apparently did not help me decide haha

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starspilli · 14 days

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dc cowboy doodles & wips !

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ressaart · 3 months

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streets of gotham

#screams #its done #this one gave me so much wrist pain lol #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #robin #bruce wayne #batman #also cass and steph are there they're just at the very top of the tallest building i ran out of places to put ppl #so i wont tag them sadly :(#my art #gotham

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yuwigqi · 2 months

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HC an actual real forensic psychologist interviews Joker, and realizes he does not meet the legal requirements for being mentally unfit to stand trial (TRUE), and the jury finds he does not meet the requirements for criminal insanity (TRUE) and he is sentenced to death and just like actually successfully executed by Belle Reve Penitentiary.

Batman's official statement "I do not kill. However, I do not give formal statements in political issues, such as the death penalty. If Joker escapes, I will send him back to Belle Reve, regardless of whatever sentencing he receives. I am a Vanguard. I am not a New Jersey Apex Court Justice. Sentencing is outside my jurisdiction or personal interests. Thank you."

Orphan's statement is "I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity of life. However, I am not opposed to euthanasia."

Red Hood gets hired as a literal Seasonal Summer Worker for Belle Reve, and stands guard.

Barbara Gordon gets hired as Belle Reve Archivist.

Duke Thomas speaks publicly about the Justice System's constant ignorance of the realities of Mental Illness, and the pathologization of acts of violence as mental illness, as well as how white men are frequently given passes for violence by the justice system.

The Joker is executed on April 1st. He is cremated, and his ashes are used in compost alongside goat and pig manure.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel is tried as well, and actually found criminally insane, and after 1 year in psychiatric hospital, and triweekly therapy, she has shown proof of improvement and rehabilitation, 2 years after that, her licensure is reinstated. Instead of going into patient practice, she does psychiatric research, and publishes several papers on the interactions of PTSD and psychotic disorders, as well as developing counseling treatments for domestic abuse and cult survivors.

"Jokes on You Day" becomes a national holiday.

#The Joker #Harley Quinn #Duke Thomas #Signal #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Batfam #Cassandra Cain #Orphan #Black Bat #Barbara Gordon #Oracle #Genuinely long considered writing a fic on this #But I really do not want to write that much Joker dialogue lol

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mostly-funnytwittertweets · 6 months

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#halloween #halloween costumes #batman #twitter #tweets #tweet #meme #memes #funny #lol

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deadsetobsessions · 3 months

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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

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sunnycanwrite · 1 year

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Bruce Wayne might not be sure how to Dad properly. But that man should adopt me anyway. I can be the common sense of the family.

#Lol Batman #He's trying okay #He is getting the hang of it #Slowly but surely #He is a dad just trying to dad #bruce wayne #batfam #batdad #batfamily #Bruce Wayne's parenting skills #dc comics #batman #dc multiverse #dc superheroes

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nyerusnova · 7 months

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yeah... things are pretty yikes right now in the current batfam storyline,

but at least Tim is rocking those thigh-high boots and I just wanted to appreciate that for a sec

#tim drake #batman spoilers #batman 138 #comics #they look so good on him ok #thigh high socks/leggings/boots/etc are just MWAH *chefs kiss*#in fact i fully support making the boots reach up even a bit higher mister jiménez pls #edited out dialogue to avoid spoilers but also because... lol #dcu #bc this kinda popped off i want to mention. i actually am quite liking gotham war so far.#gonna let zdarsky cook with this!!!

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violent138 · 23 days

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Damian: "Red Hood has a pretty severe concussion. What do I do?"

Tim: "Extraction's still ten minutes out, just keep him talking."

Damian, urgently pressing the comm: "I don't want to talk to him, he's even more insufferable than usual."

Jason, lying on the ground, eyes closed: "That's funny Junior, because head trauma's the only thing that makes you bearable."

Damian, to Tim: "I'm leaving. It won't be the first time we've had a closed casket."

Tim, groaning disgustedly: "Robin--ugh, seriously, just stay there and keep him awake."

Damian, seething even more when he sees Jason's smirk: "Fine."

Jason, cracking open one eye: "Aww, are you concerned about me?"

Damian: "Shut up. The only thing I'm concerned about is our family's reputation after your public wipeout on that stupid motorcycle."

Jason:

Damian: "Are you still awake?" *kicks him* "Todd?"

Jason, grinning: "You said our family."

Damian, furious: "I didn't. You've lost more brain cells than you could afford."

Jason: "Wait 'till Tim hears, I think he'll want a group hug. Bruce is probably going to get emotionally constipated. Dickie would probably cry--"

Damian, panicking as he hears the Batmobile get closer: "Stop. Do not tell him--"

Jason: "You better erase every single fucking video of me crashing then."

Damian: "You have a deal."

#very crappy textpost #made in between exams #and with a migraine that's making me tempted to scoop my eyes out of my skull #jason todd #damian wayne #batbros #This is how I picture them bonding #reluctantly #barely #I'm not warning for death mentions because at this point Jason's name in the tags is as good as one #tim drake #batman #batfamily #dc comics #I'm always torn whether I want Jason to want anything to do with them versus them sort of being family lol #bruce wayne

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frappegoddess · 1 month

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I originally said this in a reblog but, picture this

Bruce Wayne gets invited by BuzzFeed to read thirst tweets. They are all from his Justice League coworkers.

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Bruce, in a completely monotonous voice: @Superman says: I wanna suck Bruce Wayne's soul out through his dick and spit it back in his face.

Bruce, with a completely straight face: Poetic

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Cue the batkids watching this video after its been uploaded and gone viral on Twitter: Remember when Uncle Supes wrote that tweet about you when he was stoned off his ass??

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Said video was further used as blackmail by Tim, Jason and Steph. Duke couldn't look him in the eye for a week straight. Damian is yet to understand why the kids at school keep making jokes about his dad.

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The Justice League will never live it down

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catchymemes · 1 month

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#funny #lol #haha #humor #meme #memes #dank memes #dark humor #movies #batman

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sully-s · 26 days

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Clark: Why do I always miss the gossip missions?

#Superbat #world's finest #Clark Kent #bruce wayne #Superman #Batman #DC Comics #DCAU #Fanart #My Art #Very Messy Art #Listen it's been awhile sience I drew some blatent Superbats art I was due lol.#Shout out to all those fics where half the league is in love with Bruce.

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