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scretladyspider · 10 months

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Asexual and aromantic are not “spicy straight trying to be special LGBT”.

This argument, much like “you’re not really bi/pan if you are with someone of the opposite gender”, asks for visibly performative queerness then ignores the inherent queerness in these experiences.

If being straight is being allosexual, heterosexual, heteroromantic, alloromantic, and cisgender, all at once, then a person only needs to not be one of these to call themselves queer if they want to.

This always ruffles feathers, but..cishet isn’t the inherent opposite of queer.

Allosexual — not ace or under its umbrella

Alloromantic — not aro or under its umbrella

cisgender — aligning with your gender assigned/designated at birth

Heterosexual— sexual attraction to the opposite gender

Heteroromantic — romantic attraction to the opposite gender

If all aces and aros were cishet, which we’re not but just for the sake of this example, how would this detract from the queerness inherent in asexuality and aromanticism? Each are complex spectrums of a fundamentally different experience than the world teaches us we should have.

Aces, aros, and bi/pan people in “straight passing” relationships are often lumped into cishet as a way of delineating “not queer”, regardless of other factors. But this dismisses queerness and asks for specific, unnamed perimeters to be met for it to be recognized.

When presented with ways that experiencing little to no sexual attraction, or little to no romantic attraction, are in fact in opposition with the expectation for everyone to have both (allonormativity and amatanormativity or amanormativity respectively), people don’t accept it. Or rather, they don’t accept it as a thing on its own. Sometimes this means getting treated as if you’re just trying to be edgy, as if proclaiming you’re part of a marginalized group gives social media clout or something. Other times it’s just not treated as enough on its own by other queer people.

This happens in ace and aro spaces too. Cishet is used often as shorthand for “not queer”, directly pushing away aspecs who may be cishet and also ace and/or aro. It doesn’t seem intentionally exclusionary, but unintended exclusion is still exclusion.

This reflects, also, the expectation of performative queerness that is thrown at bi and pan persons both in and out of queer spaces. There are also many aces and aros who are bi and pan, and who may or may not be cisgender.

The reality however is there is no way to “perform” queerness that is satisfactory to all who demand it. The result this odd sort of existence where when one appears queer “enough”, that is used as weaponry against them, but when it isn’t, it’s used to exclude queer people from queerness.

And the real kicker is asexual and aromantic are enough. Bi/pan folks are still their orientation regardless of what their relationship looks like. Gender is it’s own thing, separate from the others, but related because this all ends up being a pile of queer identity spaghetti.

Regardless of how queer a person appears to you, or if you understand their individual experience… Ace is enough. Aro is enough.

The demand for performative queerness is used to try to defend from harm, but it ends up attacking anyone not visibly queer enough to the beholder.

We need to be more explicitly inclusive — especially in our own spaces, but also outside of them when talking about how queerness operates. If someone else’s queerness makes your idea of queerness more complicated, that’s not a bad thing. Learn from that, and let them be.

If you see someone is ace or aro and then see they’re more like you than you thought they could be, or that they don’t engage with it how you expected, that’s not a reason to be exclusionary. It’s a reason to try to expand what you include in your idea of queer.

Once, you needed someone to include you to feel comfortable in your queerness.

Set your ego aside and extend a hand to those you don’t quite understand. Be inclusive. Especially if someone’s relationship to their queerness challenges what you thought was possible.

thank you for reading if you like this please consider contributing to my moving expenses, there’s $425 to go and anything and everything helps

you can also find my blog, my links, my socials, read/listen to interviews, or just say hi here on my linktree

thank you again for reading and remember to be inclusive! Other queer people are not your enemy. have a nice day!

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herwold · 2 years

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Aromantic bisexual moodboard

#aro #aromantic #moodboard #bisexual #bisexual pride #bi aro #bisexual aro #aromantic bisexual #aesthetic #soft pink #bisexuality #bisexual aromantic #aromantic pride #aromantic moodboard #bisexual moodboard #lgbt moodboard

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some---weirdo · 1 month

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If this post gets:

100 notes I'll explain my gender to my friends and tell them my pronouns

500 notes I'll explain my romantic orientation to my friends (they think I'm aroace, I just identify as ace) ✓

1000 notes I'll come out to my sibling (they're agender, I know they'll support me)

10 000 notes I'll come out to my sister (she has pronouns in her discord bio, it'll be fine)

100 000 notes I'll tell my best friend I love her

1 000 000 notes I'll come out to my homophobic, transphobic conservative Christan family that I live with (they still talk to my agender sibling, so it'll just be very awkward for the next few years...)

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theprideful · 1 year

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wiggly static pride wallpapers

lesbian | gay

bi | trans

rainbow | pan

ace | aro

nonbinary | queer

please reblog if you save any! <3

more here (scroll)

some palettes used from these flag edits (thanks julien ☆)

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pansyboybloom · 4 months

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there's nothing wrong with being a man and wanting to sleep with men and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer men are sex-crazed. there's nothing wrong with being a woman and wanting to sleep with women and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer women are predatory. being alloaro doesn't make you a derogatory stereotype. you deserve respect, no matter what

#alloaro #aroallo #aromantic #aro #allosexual aromantic #aromantic allosexual #gay #bisexual #pansexual #lesbian #mlm #wlw

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isabellascarlett1 · 6 months

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Asexual folks are no “less Queer”.

Aromantic folks are no “less Queer”.

Bi/Mspec folks are no “less Queer”.

We’re all just as Queer as any other Queer person.

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sleepycatten · 11 months

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As someone who falls into 3 of these categories, I feel very called out by my own meme 😅

(Edit: Moved the alt text into the image description.)

#meme #memes #trans #enby #transgender #NonBinary #bi #bisexual #pan #pansexual #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #neurodivergent #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #queer #LGBTQ+#LGBTQIA+#LGBTQIA2S+

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twomanyfandomshelp · 17 days

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My friend @shellywith2ls found this on Pinterest during our homeroom today, and when she showed me I started dying laughing.

I asked her to send it to me and she just saved the photo and texted it to me, so I can’t properly credit the person who made this. If you see this, hi, I love this, let me know so I can properly credit you 🙃

Edit:

Thank you @voidisnthere for helping me out with the credit!

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beesie · 11 months

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happy pride 🌈

ko-fi | p/aypal | ven.mo

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bippityboppityouch · 1 month

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HEY! HEY YOU

if you like using microlabels and feel like they fit you better so that's what you use, YOU ARE VALID!

if you don't like using microlabels and prefer the general labels because that what you feel like fits you better, YOU ARE VALID!

remember, its YOUR box and YOU are the only one who gets to choose how you identify and what labels you use!

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aaa-battery-not-rechargeable · 10 months

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the thing about working in childcare these days is that I'm blown away by how open minded and genuinely curious these kids are. there are multiple openly queer kids, who are aware of the intricacy of the queer community and the multi-faceted nature of queer identity.

none of that was around 10 or 20 years ago. queerness wasn't even necessarily taboo during my childhood experiences, it just,,, wasn't taught or talked about, even from one child to another. I just didn't know it was a thing. but these little kids know about intersectionality!!!

and then when I was in high school, kids used 'gay' as an insult, but these kids at my job don't even blink differently when I told them the little queer flag pin on my messenger bag was the aroace flag. some of them ask what it means, because perhaps they've only heard of gay lesbian and trans. (and they've heard of gay lesbian and trans!!!!) I explain my flag and what it means, and it makes sense to them. that would have been alien for me as a ten year old.

some of these little lesbian girls and aroace and bisexual boys, the pan, poly, demigirl and nonbinary little ten year olds are the best friends that little me needed.

it's refreshing and heartwarming to see that the young ones of today are the kind of people this world needs.

PROTECT QUEER KIDS!!!! EMPOWER QUEER KIDS!!!!

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #queer #pan #poly #bi #bisexual #nonbinary #aro #ace #lesbian #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbtqia #lgbtq pride #lgbtqiap+#lilith has the microphone

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theprideful · 2 years

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lgbt dividers

lesbian

gay/mlm

bi

trans

lgbtq

pan

ace

aro

nonbinary

original baker 8-stripe

please rb if saving!

more here

heart dividers here ♡

#lgbt art #dividers #lgbtq #lesbian #wlw #gay #mlm #bi #bisexual #trans #queer #asexual #ace #aro #aromantic #nonbinary #pansexual #pan #baker #top posts #20k #30k #35k #40k #45k #50k

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thefrogginbullfish · 2 years

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#lgbt #queer #lgbtqia #lesbian #gay #bisexual #pansexual #trans #transgender #enby #nonbinary #ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #lgbt meme #lgbt community #lgbt memes #queer memes

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hazoret · 3 months

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Come check out my shop! We've got cryptid kitties and lots of dice! Perfect for gifts or just a little something for yourself!

Shop here! (Etsy)

Or here! (Ko-Fi)

#dice #dice set #ttrpg #pride #cryptids #cryptid #gay #lesbian #trans #ace #nonbinary #aro #pan #bisexual #mothman #bigfoot #aliens #flatwoods monster #fresno nightcrawler #cats #cat

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touratoura · 4 months

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I would like to make a probably invisible poll for the LGBTQ people of Tumblr. Sorry you can’t do multiple, just try and choose the one most important to you! Gray-anything fits here too.

#lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lesbian #gay #bisexual #pansexual #trans #transgender #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #agender #queer #questioning #omnisexual #Omni #tumblr polls

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jeranodon · 11 months

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HAPPY PRIDE GUYS! How better to celebrate than with some colorful feathered dinosaurs? Feel free to use these as a pfp, and if there’s a flag you want that I’ve missed, let me know!

#dinosaur #paleoart #science #procreate #velociraptor #jurassic park #raptor #pride #gay #lesbian #bisexual #asexual #ace #aromantic #aro #aroace #nonbinary #trans #pansexual #pan #bi

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