#allonormativity | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bloggingboutburgers · 1 month

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...'Cus after a point nodding and laughing it off kinda wears you down (and sometimes it's not enough to keep you safe).

#no one can know i don't like sex #asexual #aromantic #allonormativity #aroace #my art #nonburger

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sunny-rants · 1 year

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aphobia is not just harmful to asexual and aromantic people. it hurts everyone when society tells people they are not complete without a romantic partner. that they are aren’t a whole person if they aren’t in love and sexually desirable. people spend some of the most fulfilling parts of their lives feeling like they’re wasting that time because they aren’t in a relationship. they spend so much time looking for “the one”. time that could be spent learning, travelling, building a found family. they miss out on meaningful relationships, on soulmates, because they are told that person can’t be the most important person in their life. it devalues the support that’s found in community, it devalues the love found in friendships, it devalues the importance for living for oneself.

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redysetdare · 10 months

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Everytime I hear someone say "love is what makes us human"I think of that one guy who was trying to describe humanity and said humans were featherless bipedals and another guy responded to that claim by bringing in a plucked chicken saying "BEHOLD A MAN"

Like I could hold up a million animal species and say "BEHOLD A HUMAN" because they feel love. Something that isn't just a human experience.

The point being that describing a group based solely off a few features or emotions makes the definition too broad to claim that it is what makes that species said species.

Saying humans are humans cause they have no fur would include furless animals. Same with saying love is what defines humanity. Like either you think elephants don't feel love or elephants are human. Your dog doesn't actually love you or your dog is human.

You can't use vague overly broad concepts to define humans as a species. So maybe stop trying to dehumanize people for not feeling the same emotion as you in the same way you do?

#text #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #aplatonic #loveless #aspec #amatonormativity #allonormativity #i wont go into the science part of it because im definitely not knowledgeable for that #but from what i do know its that the lines between species are more blurred than ppl realize #so trying to define humanity by 1 overbroad concept will never work

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codthefishgod · 19 days

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To all the people who think aspec people aren't LGBTQIA+ because we aren't "discriminated against enough", here's a lovely list of reasons why you need to educate yourself:

- We suffer from dehumanisation, people actively devaluing or even erasing our humanity because of our identities (The voidpunk community is heavily supported by aspec people because of this)

- We suffer from self hatred due to feeling as if and being told we are broken, that no one can be happy unless they're in a romantic/sexual relationship, because of allonormativity and amatonormativity that actively damages our mental health

- Amatonormativity shapes laws that put us at an active disadvantage, such as giving married people financial and legal benefits

- Aspec people have been victims of conversion therapy, correctional rape, a lower quality of life, and other effects of being a marginalised and oppressed group

- We suffer from our identities being pathologised and deal with medical stigma because of this, causing many of us to feel unwelcome in and even avoid health care settings

- We suffer from our identities being erased, which can range from people completely denying our existence and people equating it to celibacy, to an almost complete absence of aspec representation in the media (It's been getting better lately, especially for alloaces and aroaces, but I have yet to ever see a canon aroallo character, and representation for those on the spectrum rather than in the extremes is often ignored)

- YOU are creating a hateful, exclusionary space in a community meant to be about inclusion. The same thing that happens to us happens to bisexual people, to polyamorous people, and other identities that are "disputed." In a community meant to be about rejecting the norm, YOU are shoving us out because we don't fit the norm of being LGBTQIA+. Because we're not enough like you.

These are only a few examples of aphobia that people like me deal with. Discrimination and oppression against aspec people stretches far beyond this.

But even if it didn't, it is disrespectful and harmful to everyone involved to gatekeep membership in the community based on oppression and discrimination.

We aren't LGBTQIA+ because we experience oppression. We are LGBTQIA+ because our existence alone goes against heteronormativity and other societal norms forced upon us.

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awkward-aro-ace-princess-76 · 2 years

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I hate you forced random pairings at the last minute, I hate you love at first sight, I hate you “they’re obviously more than friends”, I hate you pity for single people, I hate you virgin jokes, I hate you amatonormative/allonormative media

#aromantic #aro #asexual #amatonormativity #aroace #ace #allos are exhausting #allonormativity

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limetarte · 9 months

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Let’s not describe asexuality and aromantism as a “lack” of attraction. It’s not a lack, saying that centers allosexuality and alloromanticism. It also implies that there’s something lacking in ace and aro people, that there’s something missing, therefore alienates us.

Asexuality is about experiencing sexual attraction whether it’s never, only under certain circumstances, varying or anything else.

Aromanticism is about experiencing romantic attraction whether it’s never, only under certain circumstances, varying or anything else.

The same goes for aplatonic, afamilial, asensual, anaesthetic, etc.

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library-fae · 11 months

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allonormativity rots your brain because why do we only feel like something is intimate, beautiful, connected with each other... only if it involved kissing or sex?

#allonormativity #amatonormativity #aromantic #asexual #aroace

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whispers-into-the-void · 3 months

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ok but sometimes the aroace experience really is isolating. it's part of the deal. you keep seeing friends enter relationships and act weird about it around you because you don't fit into that system. you keep seeing everyone around you participating in something that you don't even want to participate in, but somehow you still feel left out and alienated from the people around you.

your mom keeps joking about "when you'll have grandkids..." but you're not sure if you'll even have kids.

and your pride stops you from telling your friends who are in relationships that you feel lonely. because pity is the last thing i want. and also, i don't think they'll understand, really.

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #arospec #aromanticism #asexuality #amatonormativity #allonormativity

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gender-luster · 11 months

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honestly, breaking down amatonormativity and allonormativity, etc. will truly do nothing but benefit us all. no one, regardless of aspec identity, should be belittled or dehumanized for not having or prioritizing sex, love, or relationships of any kind, or having them, but in ways that is outside of societal norm. sex, love, and relationships, of all kinds, should be a personal choice and not a societal expectation.

#amatonormativity #allonormativity #aspec #arospec #acespec #aplspec #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #queer

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super-ace · 1 year

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Once you start going against everything society ever said you should feel, it really is game over. Sexuality? A social construct. Virginity? A social construct. Romantic relationships? A social construct. Gender? A social contrast. 9 to 5 working day? A social construct. How a body should look? A social construct.

#asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #aroace #queer #lgbtqia #asexuality #asexual spectrum #allonormativity #heteronormativity #amatonormativity #cisnormativity

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quadruple-a-battery · 2 years

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Just realized something:

The only reason I‘ve been wanting a romantic relationship (without having a romantic relationship), is because I just want to be someones most important person.

As an autistic aro, it can be very alienating when all of my friends are in romantic relationships. I don‘t understand why they want to cancel seeing me (after a few months of no contact) because they want to meet their partner (that they‘ve been with for a week straight)

No matter how tight I feel like my relationship is with someone, as soon as they fall in love, I feel like air.

I want someone to feel that way for me, without actually having to see each other all the time, without kissing and hand holding and all that jazz.

I think what I need is a dog.

Thanks for listening to my ramble

#actually aromantic #allonormativity #actually autistic #asexual #autism #autistic #actually aroace #aroace #aromantic #actuallyautistic #ace #lgbtq #dog

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bloggingboutburgers · 7 months

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Guess who's back with the same old bad joke AGAIN

#no one can know i don't like sex #allonormativity #relationship #asexual #aromantic #my art #nonburger

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thediamondarcher · 8 months

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sometimes i think of how the world would be so much better if being aroace was seeing as something completely normal/common. If being aro was much more normalized, it wouldn't be settled that you're looking for a romantic partner and annoying questions like "oh you don't have a partner yet? that must be so sad" are asked to both aro and allo people and it's really annoying for both of them. If asexuality were much more normalized, things like using the words "virgin" or "slut" wouldn't actually be a thing because, if being ace was normalized we wouldn't be pressured or mocked about being active or inactive sexually.

I'm not talking about aroace being seen as "the norm", but if being on the aroace spectrum was a lot more normalized it would be much more easy and not just for us.

#i hope it makes sense #aroace #aro #ace #aromantic #asexuality #aromantic asexual #aroace spectrum #allonormativity

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rolaplayor101 · 8 months

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Hey guys I love polyam representation as much if not more than the next guy but why didn't they make Jughead the repulsed aroace that he is why didn't they make Jughead the repulsed aroace that he is why didn't they make Jughead the repulsed aroace that he is why didn't they make Jughead the repulsed aroace that he is why didn't they make Jughead the repulsed aroace that he is why didn't they make Jughead the repulsed aroace that he is

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scretladyspider · 9 months

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Asexual and aromantic are not “spicy straight trying to be special LGBT”.

This argument, much like “you’re not really bi/pan if you are with someone of the opposite gender”, asks for visibly performative queerness then ignores the inherent queerness in these experiences.

If being straight is being allosexual, heterosexual, heteroromantic, alloromantic, and cisgender, all at once, then a person only needs to not be one of these to call themselves queer if they want to.

This always ruffles feathers, but..cishet isn’t the inherent opposite of queer.

Allosexual — not ace or under its umbrella

Alloromantic — not aro or under its umbrella

cisgender — aligning with your gender assigned/designated at birth

Heterosexual— sexual attraction to the opposite gender

Heteroromantic — romantic attraction to the opposite gender

If all aces and aros were cishet, which we’re not but just for the sake of this example, how would this detract from the queerness inherent in asexuality and aromanticism? Each are complex spectrums of a fundamentally different experience than the world teaches us we should have.

Aces, aros, and bi/pan people in “straight passing” relationships are often lumped into cishet as a way of delineating “not queer”, regardless of other factors. But this dismisses queerness and asks for specific, unnamed perimeters to be met for it to be recognized.

When presented with ways that experiencing little to no sexual attraction, or little to no romantic attraction, are in fact in opposition with the expectation for everyone to have both (allonormativity and amatanormativity or amanormativity respectively), people don’t accept it. Or rather, they don’t accept it as a thing on its own. Sometimes this means getting treated as if you’re just trying to be edgy, as if proclaiming you’re part of a marginalized group gives social media clout or something. Other times it’s just not treated as enough on its own by other queer people.

This happens in ace and aro spaces too. Cishet is used often as shorthand for “not queer”, directly pushing away aspecs who may be cishet and also ace and/or aro. It doesn’t seem intentionally exclusionary, but unintended exclusion is still exclusion.

This reflects, also, the expectation of performative queerness that is thrown at bi and pan persons both in and out of queer spaces. There are also many aces and aros who are bi and pan, and who may or may not be cisgender.

The reality however is there is no way to “perform” queerness that is satisfactory to all who demand it. The result this odd sort of existence where when one appears queer “enough”, that is used as weaponry against them, but when it isn’t, it’s used to exclude queer people from queerness.

And the real kicker is asexual and aromantic are enough. Bi/pan folks are still their orientation regardless of what their relationship looks like. Gender is it’s own thing, separate from the others, but related because this all ends up being a pile of queer identity spaghetti.

Regardless of how queer a person appears to you, or if you understand their individual experience… Ace is enough. Aro is enough.

The demand for performative queerness is used to try to defend from harm, but it ends up attacking anyone not visibly queer enough to the beholder.

We need to be more explicitly inclusive — especially in our own spaces, but also outside of them when talking about how queerness operates. If someone else’s queerness makes your idea of queerness more complicated, that’s not a bad thing. Learn from that, and let them be.

If you see someone is ace or aro and then see they’re more like you than you thought they could be, or that they don’t engage with it how you expected, that’s not a reason to be exclusionary. It’s a reason to try to expand what you include in your idea of queer.

Once, you needed someone to include you to feel comfortable in your queerness.

Set your ego aside and extend a hand to those you don’t quite understand. Be inclusive. Especially if someone’s relationship to their queerness challenges what you thought was possible.

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thank you again for reading and remember to be inclusive! Other queer people are not your enemy. have a nice day!

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blackplaaague · 9 months

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Why would anyone be aphobic? Ace and aro people have done literally nothing wrong in the act of existing.

It's probably because we're so much sexier than everyone but you'll never get us in a relationship with you, aphobes. Y'all haters don't stand a CHANCE against a bag of potato chips.

#ace aro #asexual #aromantic #ace pride #aro pride #pride #aphobia #allonormativity #amatanormativity #potato chippies

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