#a love triangle that was never there in the first place so it’s bearable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raewritez · 3 years

Text

Still

based on this request: I’m thirsty for a love triangle. Maybe Sokka and Zuko fighting for the reader’s affection. And she chooses ____!

warnings: one swear word right there ⬇️, aangst, simping

It fucking hurt.

Sure, Sokka knew Zuko was good now, and he knew that the two of you had history. But he couldn't have prepared himself for the ache that took place in his chest whenever you would choose to sit by Zuko around the campfire, when you would tease him in that playful tone of yours, when you would smile at him and it seemed like the sun beamed a bit brighter. It hurt because Sokka didn't get that anymore. Or maybe he did, but he was too blinded by jealousy to process the fact that you cared about both of them. In Sokka's mind, your gaze was always on Zuko, on his stupid fluffy hair and his oh-so-perfect stupid face. Your hand was always somewhere on him; on his arm, around his shoulder, on his face when you healed the cuts that resulted from your latest skirmish. He could only clench his jaw, standing and storming off to where he could be alone with his misery. He'd feel your eyes on him as he walked away, probably widened in confusion and your head probably tilted in that stupid, adorable way that made Sokka's heart melt every time. But he'd continue, not sparing you a glance. It's not like you cared, anyway.

You did care.

What was his problem? Things hadn't been this tense between you and Sokka since you first met, since he labeled you as the enemy and scoured you with his glares. But that was months ago. You weren't used to this standoffishness, not used to the way he'd turn on you and leave you in the dust. No, you were used to Sokka, your Sokka. The one that held you when you cried when the Earth Kingdom fell and Zuko sided with his sister, the one that teased you mercilessly with that lopsided grin of his, the one that raced you to the top of mulberry trees to see who could get the best fruit. The one that came to you when his mind was racing, face nuzzled into your neck as your fingers pulled his hair loose from his wolf-tail. That was your Sokka, not the stranger that walked away from you now.

Your concerned gaze was broken by a soft tap on your shoulder.

"Hey, you ok?"

You forced a smile, turning to Zuko. "I'm fine. Just tired. Your story put me to sleep."

He scoffed, bumping you and turning away to hide his grin. "Well, it's actually my Uncle's story. You can blame him."

"I'm sure I'd be more interested if Iroh was telling it," you grinned. "Maybe you're just a bad storyteller."

"I'm a great storyteller. You're just a bad listener."

"Mhm. Sure."

He let out a breathy chuckle, eyes darting to your face. Spirits, he'd missed you. This is what he'd longed for those three years; this closeness. Memories of his childhood ran through his mind - memories of playtime and friendship, of two best friends who had nothing to fear but curfews and monsters under the bed. Zuko had fought and struggled, had chosen right and chosen wrong, but all those choices had led him here. Back to you. And now, his body lit aflame by your touch and his heart skipping by the song of your laughter, he'd never been more certain of anything in his life.

He was thrilled to have you back, but it was different. Before, in the painted halls of the Firenation palace and under the maroon quilts of his mother's bed, he'd had you all to himself. Now, he had to share. It was strange, seeing you laugh so boisterously with Toph or hug Aang so closely, seeing you walk arm in arm with Katara as you went into town for groceries. He was in much better standing with the group now - he knew he was forgiven for his mistakes and was welcome to share in the friendship they so generously provided. He was overwhelmingly grateful, but he cherished the moments he spent with you. And they'd have been better, if not for the other boy in the group.

Zuko had no problem with Sokka. Quite the contrary, he admired him for his leadership and laughed at his jokes, and the time he spent with him was something he enjoyed. But he envied him. Zuko saw the way the Water Tribe boy looked at you; like you were the sun itself and had put all the stars in the sky just for him. He saw the fondness in the other boy's eyes when you spoke, saw the comfortability in his movements as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. He had to remind himself that the two of you were close - that you'd spent months traveling together while he chased you all over the world. He'd guessed you would be close, but it seemed he'd underestimated the power of your love for your friends and this boy. Because you were brighter when he was around, eyes flickering to him as if on instinct whenever he arrived at the campsite. Your eyes grew tender and your voice soft, and Sokka's affection mirrored your own.

Your eyes locked on his, and he felt like he could drown in them forever. Your lips curved into a grin, and his worries and insecurities were washed away as quickly as they came. You stood up, offering him your hand. "Come on, let's get ready for bed."

He took it eagerly, smiling up at you in a way that made your heart warm. You reached up to ruffle his hair, skipping away and laughing at his indignant "Hey!" before he caught up to you and flicked your forehead. You swatted his hand away, glaring up at him. He only smirked before walking ahead of you.

You grabbed your bedroll, laying it out on the dusty ground. Zuko laid his close by. After putting out the fire and bidding goodnight to your friends, casting a sad look to Sokka's figure which sat idly upon the cliffside, you made your way inside and shut your eyes, Zuko not far behind.

///

Yep. Sokka was annoyed. He thought going for a walk would clear his mind, maybe preoccupy his thoughts with something other than you, but he guesses he was wrong. It was impossible when he could hear your laughter all the way from camp, no doubt directed towards the Firebender. He swallowed roughly, picking up his pace. He couldn't stand it; you and him. Sokka had no problem with Zuko. They were friends! Well, pretty much. Zuko had proved himself to be loyal, and there was no reason for him not to be trusted. He was cool - a little awkward albeit, but hey, Sokka can understand where that would come from after spending three years as an isolated, ponytail-wearing, Avatar-obsessed banished prince. He had no problem with Zuko, really. He guessed that he just...missed you.

Katara said he was jealous, something he promptly waved away, dismissing her with a wave. She'd rolled her eyes and called after him, "You can't ignore it forever, Sokka!" Ok, whatever Katara.

He was not jealous. He didn't care about the time you spent with the fire bender, or the way you seemed happier now that he was around. He didn't care that he hadn't talked to you in two days, and he definitely didn't care that your sleeping bag was sidled up cozily next to Zuko's.

"I'm so stupid," he muttered, lowering himself to the ground. He swung his legs over the cliff, feet dangling in the air. He turned his head, catching glimpse of the dying embers in the campfire, Toph's rock tent and Katara and Aang's sleeping figures, and you, asleep with your arms stretched in Zuko's direction. He held his head in his hands, sighing frustratedly. Yeah, maybe he was a little jealous. But really, why wouldn't he be? He used to sleep next to you, he was the one who made you laugh and woke you up in the middle of the night to sneak a ride on Appa. Now what? It'd been days since the two of you had a real conversation, so different from the constant chattering and jokes that had made his time saving the world so much more bearable. He missed you. So, so much. Spirits, what he would give for a day with you, the ones like you used to have. Where you would do whatever you wanted and usually end up scolded by Katara, but those were the days that made him forget the war and the reality of his unfortunate circumstances, when his heart was light and his worries quenched.

Those days meant everything to him, but he was afraid they were expendable. Because now you spent them with Zuko without so much as a glance his way. Sure, it wasn't like he was making much an effort, but still. You'd told him about Zuko; about the friend you'd lost to banishment who'd come out like his father. He'd thought you were crazy when you said with such conviction that he still had some good in him, but had comforted you nonetheless. He sat with you in his arms and told you the story of the time he got beat up by a penguin back home. He felt proud when he made you laugh.

You meant everything to him, but maybe it was different for you. He knew you loved him, although maybe not in the way he was beginning to question his own love as being, but he knew you loved him. You made sure he knew; in your smiles, in your words, in your touch. But he also knew you loved everyone else - the way you talked with his sister and softened her edges, allowing her to rest from the motherly role she put herself in and taking her under your arm instead. The way Toph latched onto you, teasing you with utter fondness and accepting your help without resistance. The absolute adoration that Aang held for you - resting his head on your shoulder and coming to you with his troubles, always searching for your guidance in his trials and relying on your strength and unwavering faith in him.

But it seemed different with Zuko. With him you were unbearably gentle, reassuring him of his value and rekindling the lost friendship of children ripped apart. It was obvious to everyone; the pure affection you held for this boy. It was obvious to Sokka, and, spirits, it stung. Because had you ever looked at him like that? Had he ever made you laugh as loudly as you did for Zuko, who was seemingly not even trying? He didn't know and it ate away at him, clawing at his chest and leaving it burning. Maybe he was in too deep now, too lost in love and bitterness to see the olive branches you offered him and the way your eyes darkened when he turned them away. It was fine. He was perfectly fine and would continue to be fine, even as Zuko's hand reached out for yours. Even as he felt you slipping away, even as he was alone. So terribly, painfully alone.

———-

part two?👀

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avarkriss · 4 years

Text

paradise; (with a nasty bite)

✭・.・✫

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Female Reader

Rated: E for Explicit, 18+ Only

Word Count: 3.589k

Summary: Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Commander Cody, and one very ticked off Jedi Reader get pollened on what should be a very quick and simple mission

Song/Title Inspo: Control by Unknown Brain ;; a huge thank you to Elisha (@beskars) for encouraging/proofing these shenanigans

Warnings: Threesome - F/M/M; Sex Pollen and therefore automatic DubCon; Sass; Force Projection; Force Sensitivity and Mind Reading; I Know That’s Not How The Force Works Don’t At Me; Boys Kissing; Oral Sex (M/M, F/M); Masturbation and Mutual Masturbation; Kissing; Shameless Bisexuality and Smut; Vaginal Fingering; Spit as Lube; Spit Kink; Fucking on Obi’s Cloak Kink; Beach Sex; Double Penetration (Vaginal); Very Light D/S tones, Poor Ani

Image credits: unsplash

Author’s Note: My first pollen fic!! I do apologize if I miss any grammar/spelling/formatting issues, this was primarily written on my phone in the middle of the woods lmao. I love a good threesome, I hope you to too! Plus we’re getting delivered early because I got home early :) Enjoy, share what you can, and be well ~

The heat on Borleias was oppressive.

It was sticky.

Heavy.

And you swore to the Force you were inhaling as much water as you were drinking.

The worst part though? The very worst part was that the beach was so close you could kriffing smell it.

Cool relief called to you from just a few meters away, the melodic crashing of the waves lulling you into a state of serenity you didn't think was possible in this hellscape - something else to focus on besides the salt crusting on your skin from where your sweat had evaporated.

Until you heard his blasted voice crackling in your comlink, cursing that crisp Coruscanti accent for pulling you out of the only moment of peace you've known since landing in this Force-forsaken jungle.

The sound was slightly muffled, humidity having crept into the smallest of cracks in the watertight seals on the device.

"I need you to stay focused," Obi-Wan reprimanded.

“Of course,” you grumbled, tugging at the neck of your tunic while inwardly groaning at the way the coarseweave stuck to your skin. “Have you placed your beacon yet?” you grumbled, the hilt of your lightsaber slipping in your palm.

No one saw you fumble it, certainly. No one except for apparently Cody, who you heard choke on a laugh from three meters away. If looks could kill he would have been wounded but he just couldn’t contain himself - you had to be the second clumsiest Jedi in the Order with that thing, the first of course being General Kenobi.

You waited five more standard minutes before lifting your wrist to your mouth, hissing into your comm. “Well?”

“You’re so testy in the heat,” Obi-Wan grunted from behind. You startled and nearly dropped your lightsaber again, glowering at him as mirth dared to dance in his eyes.

“Great. You’re back. I’m going to the beach so I can soak the sweat off,” you snarked, making a concentrated effort to push through the foliage in front of you, desperate for the ocean to cleanse your spirits.

“Seems that the heat is getting to her, sir,” Cody remarked, watching Obi-Wan gently shake his head before trudging after you.

When the two men emerged from the forest they found your boots, belt, lightsaber, and pants strewn about the beach in a haphazard line straight to the water where they could see you floating on your back, dimly lit by the moon.

“Must you leave a mess everywhere you go?" Obi-Wan shouted, bending down to gather your things in a neat pile.

You rolled your eyes heavily, knowing he couldn't see you in the water. "I'm going to shake Anakin if I don't die here first," you grumbled to yourself, begrudging the day you were assigned to this mission because he had " urgent business on Naboo ."

Obi-Wan thumped to the ground next to the pile, neatly folding your pants as Cody sat down next to him, removing his helmet.

"I've read about this planet sir, there's a meteor shower every year," Cody mentioned, hugging his knees to his chest as he looked at the stars along the horizon.

"I believe you're correct Cody," Obi-Wan mused, taking in the way Cody’s curls seemed to have tightened with the planet’s humidity, basking in his calm while he looked out across the ocean.

"I can't believe it," Cody gasped, suddenly sitting straight before scrambling to lay on his back. Obi-Wan curiously followed his gaze, tilting his chin skyward to find the shimmering tails of a cluster of shooting stars.

"It's nice to enjoy this," Cody mumbled, speaking to no one but himself.

"It is," Obi-Wan agreed, smiling at Cody before calling out to you, beckoning you to the beach before pointing at the stars.

You slowly removed yourself from the water, coming to stand next to Obi-Wan. You bit back a scoff when you saw the way he had neatly folded and arranged your belongings, crossing your arms as you looked to the sky.

"As much as I can't stand this planet, being here for the annual meteor shower is pretty amazing," you thought aloud, sand sticking to your toes and ankles.

Obi-Wan hummed in agreement as he moved to lay down, the top of his head brushing against Cody's. You shrugged and decided to join them, toes towards that cursed jungle as you laid down, your wet hair joining theirs.

The three of you laid there for a while, relaxing against the warm sand while the planet slowly dropped in temperature, becoming only slightly more bearable. You had no idea how much time had passed when a breeze finally picked up, carrying glittering silver grains in its wake.

You ran your finger up your arm, examining the sparkles when you realized it was pollen from the jungle.

"Curious," Obi-Wan said, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together, slowly sitting up.

"Obi-Wan," you warned, sitting up yourself as he began to walk up the beach. Cody scrambled and lightly jogged to catch up with him.

You watched them at the forest line, Obi-Wan carefully studying a lightly colored flower - the source of the pollen, you were sure. He plucked one and returned with it and Cody, sitting down next to you.

"I've never seen such a thing before," you marveled, reaching out your hand to hold the flower.

It was palm sized, the petals so thin that if there was just one you could have made out the shape of your finger behind it. The edges of the petals were nearly metallic in their argent color, gently rippled and curled. At the center of the flower was a milky white stamen that seemed to glow in the moonlight, studded with the last remnants of silver pollen that hadn't been taken by the wind.

"We didn't see any of these on our way in," you mentioned, turning the flower in your hand.

"No," Cody confirmed, extending his hand so he could study the plant. "But there are many flowers that only bloom at night."

"I think it may be some type of aestus flower," Obi-Wan mentioned casually, rolling his lower lip between his teeth.

"You can't be -" you started, stopping before you realized you were being ridiculous. The family of aphrodisiac flowers was so valuable they'd be well documented on this planet, known for being exceptionally poor in natural resources.

“An aestus flower, sir?” Cody questioned, tilting his head as he lifted the flower to eye level.

“They’re a… a flower known to produce various aphrodisiac effects,” Obi-Wan explained, quickly continuing when he caught sight of Cody’s furrowed brows. “But they’re known to work very quickly, so this may be a distant cousin of sorts.”

“Regardless, I’m sitting over there,” you threw your thumb to the side, gesturing to a large smooth rock in the sand, “until we’re sure it’s not what you think it is. I could use a few hours of quiet.”

Obi-Wan nodded his head as you stood, slowly moving himself closer to the tree line. “Just for precaution,” he smiled.

Cody nodded too and moved a few meters away himself, your close circle turning into a giant awkward triangle on the beach.

You settled on the stone, feeling the heat of the planet push against your chest once more.

But as time started to slow and the weight increased, you began to fear that Obi-Wan was, once again, absolutely correct.

“Just meditate through it,” you whispered to yourself, crossing your legs underneath you while you rested your wrists on your knees, palms facing the sky. "Just breathe."

You slowly closed your eyes and took the deepest breath you could manage, reaching out to connect with your surroundings. You were searching, looking for something cool, something calming.

You needed to ground yourself, build an unshakable foundation to ward off the storm you could feel brewing in the pit of your stomach.

The stone beneath you was too warm and the ocean always took extra concentration, concentration you couldn't spare as you desperately tried to block out the growing heat between your thighs and the gentle groan you heard from somewhere down the beach.

"Breathe," you spoke to yourself, reaching for the trees. You found them hot, burning from the aestus flowers and resistant to your touch. You sensed something alluring and cold nearby, creeping towards it until you realized it was Obi-Wan, pulling away before you made the mistake of making him your home.

"Breathe," you spat from between gritted teeth, eyes scrunching with the involuntary flutter from between your legs. You reached into the sand, desperate, aching. But it fell from your grasp slowly, mocking you. Taunting. There was no stability to be found in sand.

There was another ragged moan from down the beach and you ground your teeth down, placing the tips of your fingers against the flat stone, clinging to the steady vibrations between every molecule.

Heat grew between your thighs as something cool lapped at your back, calling to you like gentle water.

Relax, little one.

You couldn't help the growl growing in the back of your throat, letting it escape briefly before swallowing it back down. His voice was honey thick; sticky and warm and pulling you in.

The groaning from down the beach intensified, joined by stumbling footsteps that climbed away from you, drawn in by Obi-Wan's cooling aura.

Cody, you panicked, reaching out for him until you realized Obi-Wan had brought him to the safety of harbor first.

You felt him pull away from you, keeping a connection at the small of your back. You felt like your skin was going to burn off of your bones, thighs slicking as your arousal began to pool.

Groans turned to whimpers, threatening to break your concentration as you dove deeper and deeper, fighting the pull that threatened to drag you to the surface.

It was when things finally turned quiet that you straightened your spine, breathing deeply until you felt a familiar flicker somewhere in the corner of your consciousness.

The sound was different now - wet and messy and your throat felt like it was starting to close until a strangled moan erupted, pulling you out of the shelter you had forged.

Your protective walls were down and you were exposed, every nerve ending combusting at once until the projection of pleasure slammed into your chest.

You felt relief for the briefest of moments until it ebbed away, fleeting glimpses of bliss strangling your heart every few seconds until tears began to fall down your cheeks. It was going to make you lose your sanity, bouncing between the burning heat of desire and the sweet relief of satisfaction being sent through you.

You pulled yourself up and started to walk towards the tree line, vision blurred and gait unsure. You were ready to scream, ripped open and raw and hurting and alone -

"I hate -" you sobbed, falling to your knees at the sight of Obi-Wan on his, Cody’s cock buried in his mouth while he choked on his own relieved cries.

Your words died on your tongue and your mouth parted as you studied them, beautiful in the moonlight. Cody was bare and had his head thrown back, his hands tangled in Obi-Wan’s auburn hair as he thrust into his mouth.

You reached between your thighs as you watched - Cody stuttering in his rhythm while Obi-Wan stroked himself, hand moving under his robes.

Your fingers danced around your aching clit, craving relief that evaded you at every turn. Obi-Wan's projection was constant now, his pleasure mounting with Cody’s. When Cody came the projection pushed you onto your ass, hitting the sand with a gentle thud. You groaned and thrust your fingers into your aching pussy, watching Cody join Obi-Wan on his knees, pulling him in for a kiss.

Their tongues danced together and your lips tingled with ache, mouth and throat dry while you panted.

Please , you pleaded, reaching out to tangle yourself with Obi-Wan as Cody kissed him and took his cock in his hand. When Cody began to pump him up and down Obi-Wan pushed so hard against you that you fell onto your back breathless, rapidly thrusting in and out of your heat.

You couldn't see it when he came but you heard him moan, feeling the pleasure ripple through your tummy and up your chest. You threw your head back into the sand, screaming out in frustration as hot tears simmered on your cheeks, begging for your own release.

Someone knelt down next to you, their hand on your forehead sending a jolt down your back. You whimpered as you arched under the gentle touch, chasing the connection as the hand pulled away.

"General," Cody murmured, slipping it under your neck to help you sit up. You pulled your fingers from within yourself and curled into Cody, crying against his shoulder.

"I - I -," you stammered, struggling to find your words as you continued to clench around nothing, aching to be filled.

"We know what you need darling," Obi-Wan rumbled, spreading his cloak onto the sand. "We're here now." He was attempting to send a calming rush towards you, finding you unresponsive to it as you kissed across Cody's shoulder.

Cody’s lips fell to your neck, mouthing at your skin as you grew impossibly hotter in his arms.

"She needs more Cody," Obi-Wan pointed out, helping to roll you onto his cloak as Cody settled between your legs. "Taste her," he suggested, shrugging off the rest of his robes.

As soon as Cody's tongue made contact with your soaked folds you let out a wrecked moan, twisting against the cloak until Obi-Wan settled next to you, leaning down to pull your soaked tunic off of you before capturing your lips in a searing kiss.

You succumbed to him immediately, letting his tongue push against yours as he licked into your mouth. He still tasted of Cody and you moaned below him, fisting one hand in Cody's hair as the other searched for Obi-Wan's cock, joining his own in stroking himself to relieve the fire slowly consuming you all from the inside out.

Obi-Wan spread a hand over your breast, slowly tweaking one of your nipples while Cody lapped at your clit. He was groaning into you as his fingers searched out your entrance, index and middle slipping in with ease.

Your hips arched off the cloak to meet his eager mouth, moans filling the air as Obi-Wan broke away from your mouth to take your nipple between his teeth, leaving a trail of stars blooming across your skin in his wake.

Obi-Wan, please -

Your walls were down and he was starting to crumble.

"Cody," Obi-Wan whispered, running his hand through his hair. When he lifted his head from between your legs his eyes were shining as much as his mouth, slowing his fingers inside of you. "Sit back a moment my darling."

Cody sat back on his knees and dragged his fingers slowly out of you. You keened at the loss until you saw Obi-Wan lean over to Cody, taking his fingers into his mouth, groaning at the way you tasted on his salty skin.

Obi-Wan cast his eyes down to you as he palmed at your breasts, pulling off of Cody's fingers when he was sure that they were clean. He came back to your tips, tapping them open with a gentle finger before spitting into your mouth, tasting of you and Cody and something uniquely him.

After leaving a parting bite on your lower lip he helped you roll onto your stomach, gesturing for Cody to resume his place between your legs as he stroked himself and came around to your mouth.

Let him fuck me, please -

Your thoughts were loud in your head as Obi-Wan moaned, giving voice to the desires you couldn't speak.

As Cody lined himself up to your entrance Obi-Wan found your mouth, each man pushing into you, synchronous with the other.

Your groans were muffled around Obi-Wan, eyes fluttering closed as relief settled into you, the fire shrinking with every thrust of their cocks.

Cody had you stretched in the most delicious of ways, moaning and cursing as he thrust into you, one hand pressed against your pussy and the other resting on Obi-Wan's.

They both started to say your name louder, your body shaking between them, threatening to break if you didn't find release soon. But as Cody timed his thrusts to oppose the press of his finger on your clit and Obi-Wan pulled your hair while hissing from the way you traced him with your tongue, your vision went white and the world finally stopped spinning.

Your euphoria was short lived, quickly replaced by deep heat between your legs. Cody and Obi-Wan found their release shortly after, spilling inside of you as they each moaned out your name.

They parted from you for a moment, pausing to kiss each other before coming to your sides, each man laying next to you.

"It's not stopping soon is it," you panted, looking to Cody and then to Obi-Wan who both shook their heads. You let out a shaking exhale as the pain grew stronger. You couldn't fight it anymore, leaving yourself wide open, thoughts so obvious that even Cody could gather what was on your mind.

Obi-Wan shared in your sensation and grabbed at your waist, urging you to straddle him. Once you were comfortably seated Obi-Wan set a punishing pace, snapping his hips up into your while he kneaded the flesh of your ass between his fingers.

Cody watched for a few moments before taking himself in his palm, stroking in time to Obi-Wan's thrusts. His face began to contort with pain when a thought burst through your fog.

Self-stimulation is ineffective, isn't it?

You were interweaving yourself with Obi-Wan, clinging to the cool of his force signature as he slowed just a touch, breathing out a shudder confirmation.

With that you turned towards Cody, gently calling his name as Obi-Wan slowly rocked into you, expression curious.

"I'm so wet," you moaned, looking him up and down.

"You are," he confirmed, putting his hand where your body met Obi-Wan's, the other still wrapped tightly around his cock. He teased you both for a few moments, running his fingers across both of you at once.

"I can take you both together."

The words rolled off your tongue before you realized you had said them, both men moaning as Cody began to work a finger and then two into your pussy without hesitation.

"You’re sure?" he grunted, wrapping your hand around his cock as he pushed his fingers deeper, working in tandem with the subtle roll of Obi-Wan's hips.

"Yes," you cried, voice strained as he pushed in a third. "Can't stand to see either of you in this pain."

Cody hummed against your skin as he kissed you, helping you adjust to the stretch before pulling away, coming behind you.

With a firm hand to your back Cody pushed you forward until your chest was nearly flush with Obi-Wan's. You heard him spit against you, rubbing at you with his thumbs before pressing his head against your entrance, easing himself inside.

You and Obi-Wan moaned from the pressure, stilling as he worked his way in. You swallowed your cries as Obi-Wan bit into your shoulder, hands firm on your hips as he tried to hang onto the last bit of his mental wall.

That, however, came crashing down as soon as Cody began to move, the force of his pleasure knocking the wind from your chest. When you opened your eyes you could see your tears mixed with his, leaning down to lick them away before he began to work in tandem with Cody - thrusting in as he pulled out.

They worked against each other and you were seeing stars, becoming wetter and wetter with every orgasm that rushed through your body. At some point you realized that the wetness was their come leaking out of you, both men showing no signs of easing up anytime soon.

You couldn't be certain how many times any of you came, riding out high after high, changing positions, coming in and on each other as you lost yourselves in the pleasure, desperate to keep the burning pain away.

At some point though the effects of the pollen had worn off and the three of you collapsed together, sticky and sweet and warm. Time had returned though sense was still absent.

You and Cody had each curled around Obi-Wan, legs tangled together and arms entwined. Eventually you each slipped into a heavy slumber, shared murmurs of thanks fading away as your eyelids drooped.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Slowly you began to rouse, feeling the heat of the sun beginning to sear your skin, quickly coming to your senses when a high pitched shriek jolted you all awake.

You startled to find Captain Rex doubled over in laughter as Anakin threw his cloak over the pile of limbs you were wrapped in, head turned away and paler than you could ever recall seeing him.

"Anakin, aren't you supposed to be on Naboo?" Obi-Wan questioned, slowly sitting up. He was blinking in the sun, memories slowly returning as you and Cody unwrapped yourselves from around him.

"I was until the Council told me they never heard your team check in. They sent me here and I find this," he gestured dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose as he turned away.

"Like I needed another reason to hate sand."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Full Masterlist // Star Wars Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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makkoskafanfic · 3 years

Text

WIP fic release

In which one Madara is the manager of the black metal band called the Akatsuki and shares a History with the Mayor of Konoha.

@enquiringangel this might be slightly cheating as this one’s fairly recent and I might actually continue it if my brain cooperates.

Madara wakes to a harrowing headache. He squints against the light, doing his best not to be sick and wishes he remembered to draw the curtains closed last night. It takes him some time to realise the pounding doesn’t only come from inside his skull - someone is knocking on the door of his hotel room as well.

He lurches to his feet and stumbles to the door to jerk it open.

“What,” he barks “is so urgent?”

“Wow, boss. You look like hell,” Obito takes a long look at him as he stands there in nothing but his boxers. “I could have lived without this sight.”

“Then go and bother someone else,” he tries to slam the door in the younger man’s face, but Obito holds it open with a hand. Madara feels too sick to fight, so he just wanders back to the bed and slumps down on it. “Let me die in peace.”

“Can’t do,” Obito says cheerfully. “It’s 10 already, we need to check out in an hour and we have to discuss the next steps of the tour before.”

Madara groans and pushes a pillow against his face. He then remembers it’s a hotel pillow, and who knows when it had been properly washed, so throws it away.

“Aren’t you supposed to be my assistant? Do something on your own for a change. I’m dying.”

“Are you hungover?”

“I wish I was. I hardly got to drink anything last night, as Kakuzu and Kisame got into a fight at the bar and I had to smooth things over.”

“A migraine then.”

“You don’t say.”

“Where are your meds?”

“Small bag in the big bag.”

Obito fishes the pills out and pours him a glass of water. He also wets a towel and handles it over to Madara, to lay it on his face. Madara likes him a bit more than he usually does in that moment.

He approached Madara about half a year ago, asking him to hire him. He was family - which was a good enough reason in itself to decline him in Madara’s opinion. But he had that kicked puppy look in his eyes when the older man told him to get lost. He just couldn’t go back home, he said. Not after all that happened.

He would have been a handsome guy, if not for the ugly scar on the right side of his face. There was some tragic love story in the background. In the end Madara was weak and offered him a job if he promised he would never again bore him with the details. He doesn’t want to be involved in the woes of a twenty-two years old. He has never really gotten over his own heartbreak from his early twenties, so he was hardly a suitable person to give any advice.

“You will get over it,” he told him. “Or maybe you won’t. Either way, I couldn’t care less about this Rin and Kakashi, so never mention them again. Here’s your contract. Money is shit, but then, I don’t really have anything for you to do.”

Obito signed without any questions and here he was now, giving Madara his painkillers, proving to be useful in the end.

“Are the circus freaks awake yet?” me mutters from under his wet towel.

“I heard Hidan’s yelling, so probably they are.”

“Go and check on them, won’t you? It would be great to keep the schedule for once.”

“I’m more concerned about you. Have you considered you are too old for this life?”

Madara pulls the towel off his face and raises his head with an effort to glare at Obito.

“I’m forty-seven you disrespectful little shit. I’m not old.”

“Whatever you say, gramps. Do I need to help to get you into the shower?”

Madara scrunches the towel into a ball and throws it at Obito. It hits him on the neck with a satisfying wet smack.

“Keep your hands to yourself and run me through the schedule.”

He gets to his feet, feeling marginally better as the painkillers start to kick in. He definitely feels the age in his back and he stretches, but he is careful not to wince as Obito is watching. He leaves the bathroom door slightly ajar, allowing the voice of his so-called assistant to carry through. He doesn’t listen as he knows everything by heart, but he might as well let him play being important. Madara, as the meticulous person he is, doesn’t forget the details of the tour plan. It’s a useful trait to have for the manager of the band, although it probably would come as a surprise to the fans who remember Madara as a chaotic rock star.

He used to be quite famous, being on the stage for a good fifteen years. He had a carefully built image, with everything in the book - the sometimes sensual, sometimes rude and shocking lyrics, the wild guitar riffs, a voice that had a classical education but was put to the best use when screaming into the mic. He used to have the looks, with his long mane of hair, the wiry muscles on his chest and arms that made him look good shirtless on the stage.

The rumours, the gossip and scandals that came with that lifestyle never bothered him. They had very little foundation - outside his stage persona, Madara has always been a reserved man, but that wasn’t what the fans wanted to see and in his opinion everybody was entitled to the illusions they preferred.

Madara has always been a smart man, too. As he passed fourty, all that came with the show, the tours, the gigs, the albums, the photo shoots started to get too much. So he just quit it, without any plan in place with what he wanted to do with his life.

He didn’t enjoy retirement, but then, it lasted about two months. He was approached by Yahiko, or as he became known on his stage name, by Pain, offering him the role of the manager for his newly formed black metal band, The Akatsuki. He already had the members, he explained, just needed someone with experience in the industry to help them break through.

Madara agreed to meet the band and realised that Yahiko-Pain, with his numerous piercings, spikey carrot-red hair and well formed messiah-complex was the least weird of them all still. He thought they wouldn’t last a month, but out of boredom he agreed to be their manager. It would be a laugh, he considered, some trash band with a manager who had no idea what he was doing.

Almost seven years have passed since. The Akatsuki have become surprisingly successful within their genre and Madara is still managing them. He didn’t even like them - on some days, like today, he outright loathes them - but he couldn’t figure out what else to do with the rest of his life.

By the time he checks out in the lobby, he feels mostly human again. The horrible migraine quilted down to an annoying, but bearable headache. He has his jacket zipped up to his chin, his hair up in a ponytail and large sunglasses covering most of his face, and nobody spares him a second glance.

“Madara, you fucking bastard,” Hidan, the guitarist shrieks at him when he approaches their bus. Madara doesn’t even wince - he has accepted years ago that Hidan is incapable of speaking in a normal tone or without unnecessary swear words. While his skills on the guitar are mediocre at best, he is a vital part of the show. One can always count on him to be shocking, offensive and obscene. He’s a considerable contributor to the spotlight the band gets on the media. “Last night was fucking awesome, man! The crowd just ate it all up! Where are we up next? Iwa? We will rock them! Haha! Kakuzu, you limp dick, do you get it? Rock them, as Iwa is…”

“Actually we’ve been in Iwa half a year ago,” Obito interrupts, as he still didn’t learn to just ignore Hidan. “That’s where we started the tour, remember. Our next stop is… Konoha,” he looks sour and Madara makes a mental note not to sit next to him on the drive. It’s going to

be a long one and he can’t bear listening to him go off about Rin-Kakashi-Rin-Kakashi-Rin-Kakashi again.

Especially as he’s not the only one upset by going back to Konoha. It’s not the first time Madara will be back of course - he has left over twenty years ago, and the town has become too prominent to miss out on tours. He was a nervous wreck on all occasions before and he’s not sure this time will be different. Well over two decades have passed, but Madara is not very good at moving on.

They all climb into the bus, which is getting rather small or rather, their team is getting too big. The four members of the band, Madara, Obito, Pain’s lethargic girlfriend slash occasional keyboardist and the “arts” team who are responsible for everything that happens on the stage that’s not music, from pyrotechnics to setting up equipment.

Kakuzu, their bassist, is behind the wheels as he claimed a driver is just a waste of money and the others couldn’t care less about who was driving. Madara sits down next to him on the front seat as the man at least doesn’t talk much. They all settle slowly, Pain and Konan in the back, so they can make out as they usually do, Hidan bickering with the blond arts kid, Kisame, the drummer, grumbling something about ergonomy as he tries to fold his tall frame into the seat. Obito sits next to him, seeming ready to start off his tirade about his bloody annoying love triangle.

Madara puts in some music so he doesn’t have to listen to any of them and decides on feigning sleep on the majority of the trip. He can already feel anxiety setting down inside his very bones. Going home isn’t something he looks forward to.

#hashimada #madara #fanfic #wip #wip fic release #modern au #akatsuki #unedited sorry!

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astralbooks · 3 years

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City of Shattered Light - Claire Winn

Read: 04/10/2021 - 06/10/2021

Rating: 3/5

Rep: bi main characters, f/f relationship, biracial japanese-portuguese main character, terminally ill main character, gay side characters, nonbinary side character

CW: violence, death, blood, mild gore, emotional abuse/manipulation, mild body horror (cybernetics), references to suicide, terminal illness, drug and alcohol references, gun violence, incidents of sexual harassment, mentioned child abuse

Review:

I had a really good time reading this! I foolishly left it until the last possible moment to start reading if I wanted to have finished it in time to make my stop on the tour, and I was worried that I was going to struggle to make it, but I needn’t have worried. This book is action packed with a lightning fast pace that made it a breeze to get through. There were no dull moments, reading it never felt like a chore, and I had fun the whole time! There were a few moments where I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but I’m very sure that’s more my own fault than the book’s, and sometimes it’s okay to just read and trust that things will click into place when it’s important, which they always did.

Asa was my favourite by far! Her sheltered upbringing and desire to impress her father, and her resulting horror upon discovering what her father was doing and the naivety with which she approaches things all made complete sense and were believable to me. Even when she made bad decisions, her reasoning behind them made sense and I never got annoyed at her for it. Her development and growth through the book was great too, the Asa from the end of the book has come a long way from the Asa at the start! I also loved her sister Kaya, and what we see of their relationship. We get to meet Kaya before the brain upload mentioned in the synopsis, and in just a few short chapters Winn was able to fully convince me of how important Kaya and Asa are to each other and so I was completely invested in how this aspect of the plot played out.

Other people are seeming to adore Riven, and I understand why. She’s basically a gunslinging space cowgirl and she’s unapologetic about both her lofty aspirations and her bisexuality. She’s effortlessly cool! I get why people like her! I don’t quite feel the same. I don’t dislike her, I just like her less. A big part of this is that while Asa’s development was handled well, Riven’s wasn’t so much. She couldn’t seem to make up her mind on how she felt about Asa, and not in a she’s conflicted way but in a she thinks one thing and then says the exact opposite five minutes later and the reader has to scramble to catch up to the fact that she changed her mind at some point while the pov shifted away from her way. It got a little frustrating because this happened more than once. Riven’s best moments often had nothing to do with Asa and everything to do with her relationships with other characters and with her feelings about her own terminal illness. These areas were where she really shone.

I loved the other members of Riven’s crew! Ty, Riven’s adoptive younger brother and the team medic, is a total sweetheart. His and Riven’s relationship was lovely, their importance to each other was really clear and their reactions whenever the other was in danger were very good. We don’t get to see as much of the other two members, Samir and Diego, which I think is a shame because there’s a lot of implied backstory there that looks super interesting and that I’d love to learn more about. I did like that Samir exclusively calls Diego ‘Dee’ even though they’re Totally Not Together, that was a fun detail.

I didn’t know going into this that there was going to be a love triangle, and while I always prefer there not to be love triangles I did appreciate that this one didn’t cause any melodrama or conflict. As love triangles go it was very chill which made it a lot more bearable. Unfortunately, the side of the triangle doomed not to win out got way more focus and screen time than the side of the triangle that as the ‘winning’ relationship we’re supposed to be rooting for. Asa and Riven’s relationship not having that same level of development, plus Riven’s attitude towards Asa in general being so hot and cold, meant that this might be the first time I read a f/f book and ended up not really wanting the f/f couple to get together. However, Winn has said that she has a sequel written and ready to go, which if it does get released (fingers crossed it does) means there’s plenty more time for me to be convinced. It’s happened before that I’ve read something and been very unimpressed with the main couple at first only for my opinion to do a complete 180 later on in the series. As this book stands, I’m not feeling it, but I’m open to having my mind changed. I definitely want to read the sequel.

Also can we take a moment to appreciate the cover? That cover is beautiful, I can’t stop staring at it.

Thank you to the publisher and TBR and Beyond Tours for having me on this tour and providing me with an e-arc! You can see the rest of the tour schedule here and my full tour stop on my wordpress blog here.

#review #book review #city of shattered light #claire winn #books #booklr

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soobiniebaby · 3 years

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Angels & Devils Part XVI : Time’s Up

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

Yeonjun’s night wasn’t going so well.

All he wanted was to take his girlfriend to one of the biggest school dances of the year, to pick her up from apartment and have his breath taken away but how undoubtedly gorgeous she’d look, to hold her hand in the backseat of his car and maybe toast with a glass of white wine as his driver takes them to the dance, to take silly and sweet photographs as they enter the venue, to watch every guy’s drop as he walks in with her drop-dead gorgeous self into the hall, to hold her close and whisper sweet nothings in her ear while they slow dance under the twinkling lights and fall petals floating down, and to make it a night they’ll never forget as they make their way back to her place after the dance for their own private “afterparty.”

Yet, he found himself in a throng of kids around his age who he knew would be able to live as lavishly and extravagantly as they wanted to without having to work a single day in their lives, striving to make dull conversations about who threw the latest reckless parties and who hooked up with who and who did this that and so on and so forth. For a “business” party, and it was less on networking and more on gossiping and hooking up for these kids. When his father sprung his mandatory attendance at this event, Yeonjun had initially thought of asking B to come with him so that they’d at least be able to spend the evening together, whether it be at the Fall Ball or not, and he knew that her presence would make it so much more bearable. But as soon as he heard who was hosting the event, he knew inviting B would be a bad idea. Because the event was being hosted by none other than Kim Jisoo, successor to the biggest Technology Firm in the country.

And Yeonjun was quick to learn that wherever Kim Jisoo went, Park Rose was sure to follow.

And right on cue, he spots her.

Her long red hair fell down her shoulders like a velvet curtain, her figure flaunted by the blue slip dress that hung off her body elegantly. She spots him at the same time and gives him a wave. Again, he feels as if he were transported 2 years back to the past, feeling tongue-tied and breathless in her presence. He shakes it off before waving back to her, and she makes his way towards him.

“Hey babe, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.” Rose says, instinctively leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“It’s a party hosted by Kim Jisoo, so my father forced me to come tonight. And I’m not your babe.” he says, though he makes no move to avoid her kiss on his cheek.

“Sorry, I guess it feels a bit weird seeing you again after we’ve broken up. It’s a habit, I guess.” she says, giggling. “Did you come here alone tonight? No friends? Where’s your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, my friends and girlfriend are actually at MO Academy for the Fall Ball. I’m actually gonna ditch this party as soon as I can then head on over to the school dance, but don’t tell Jisoo cause she might not let me go so easily.” he says, taking a sip out of the champagne in his glass.

“Ah, the Fall Ball. I remember how beautiful the last one was. Remember, they covered the whole dance floor with autumn leaves? Then I sprained my ankle when that song by Twice came on and I couldn’t help but dance along.” Rose laughs, fondly remembering the evening. “A swollen ankle wasn’t enough to spoil our little afterparty at The Eastwood though.” she says, referring to the hotel they had booked that night and the hours they spent tangled in the sheets.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be even better this year since the guys and I are the student council leaders now.” Yeonjun says, brushing off her comments about the past.

Rose pouts. “Come on, lighten up Junnie! No need to pretend that you and I are strangers. We’re friends, right?”

Yeonjun raises a brow. “Yeah, sure, friends.” It was something he never thought of Rose as, but given their situation, it felt like an appropriate label. “As a friend, do you want to go around and do that thing we used to do at lame parties like these?” he says, another memory of them popping up.

Rose giggles, remembering how they used to go around the party, pick a couple or group to watch, and make up dialogue for them. It was a fun and entertaining way to get it through a night like this, surrounded by shallow and stuck up trust fund kids. “Ah, now that’s what a friend at a party like this is for.” she says, her eyes quickly scanning the room before landing on a group of people. “Okay, look over there, let’s call the man Mr. Bass, and let’s say he’s got his arm wrapped around his girlfriend yet he’s so obviously flirting with their companion Mr. Archibald…”

The rest of Yeonjun’s time at the party was spent that way, with him and Rose going around the room, people-watching, dialogue-making, story-telling, sipping on Chardonnay and laughing together just like the good old days. The best dialogue they made up was one between Rose’s own friend group, Jisoo, Jennie and Lisa, wherein the pair of them made up a story about how Jisoo and Lisa were trying to outshine each other for Jennie’s affection.

“Wow, Rose, I have to admit that when I stepped foot into this place, I never would have thought I’d actually have fun tonight.” Yeonjun says after they sneak away in a fit of giggles. “Our dialogues tonight weren’t the best, but I’ve gotta say, the one with Lisa, Jennie and Jisoo was genius. Is there any truth to it, or is it purely fiction?”

“Well I made up the scenario, but honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if a bit of it ended up being true.” Rose says, nursing the wine glass in her hand. “I have to say, I thought tonight would be just another night of me glued to the same 3 girls I’ve been stuck with the past year, so thank you. I had fun with you tonight.”

Yeonjun smiles at her. “Speaking of Jisoo, do you think it would be safe for me to leave now? The dance will be ending in about an hour, and I’d really like to catch at least a bit of it before the night ends.”

“Oh, you can’t just slip out cause that might get you on her bad side. You have to come and say goodbye to her, but don’t worry, I’ve got a fullproof plan to ensure that she’ll let you go.” Rose says, giving him a smile before taking a sip of wine.

“Follow my lead.” Rose whispers to Yeonjun, linking their arms together before approaching Jisoo, Jennie and Lisa.

“Hey girls, where have you been all night? I feel like I haven’t seen you around.” Rose says, greeting the 3.

“We could say the same about you. I was starting to worry about you, I feel like I haven’t seen you all night!” Jisoo exclaims, before her eyes settle on the man Rose had on her arm. “But I guess I had no reason to worry after all, looks like you found yourself some company.” she says, smiling knowingly at the pair. “Hello Yeonjun, I’m glad to see you were able to make it to my party tonight.”

“It’s my pleasure, Jisoo.” Yeonjun says politely. “I really had fun.”

“Yes, tonight was fun, but I hope you don’t mind if I leave and take Junnie here with me?” Rose says, giving a pout. “I think I’ve had a little too much to drink and I’m not feeling well. Yeonjun has offered to drive me home.”

Yeonjun subtly raises a brow at her, but she throws him a quick wink.

“Oh no, are you okay? You look like you should lie down.” Lisa says, her brows furrowed with concern.

“Don’t worry about her, ladies. I’d be glad to give her a ride home and make sure she’s okay.” Yeonjun says, quickly catching on to Rose’s plan.

“Oh, Yeonjun dear, thank you so much!” Jisoo squeals, quickly leaning forward and giving him a peck on the cheek. “You’re such a darling. Thank you for looking out for our dear Rose.”

“No problem at all.” Yeonjun says. “We’ll be on our way now, I think Rose really needs to lie down.” he says to Rose, who dramatically puts a hand over her forehead.

“Yes, I think I really do. Thanks again, Yeonjun. Girls, I’ll see you all soon. And Jisoo, I’m sorry I have to leave early, I promise I’ll make it up to you.” she says, batting her eyelashes at the girls.

Jisoo waves a hand in the air. “Nonsense, your presence here tonight was more than enough. You too, Yeonjun! Thank you for coming tonight.”

The pair waves at the 3 girls one more time before they walk away, snickering and giggling.

“Wow, that was genius. Thanks, Rose.” Yeonjun says. “I guess I’m free to go now. Do you, uh, do you really feel sick? Do you want me to give you a ride home?”

Rose laughs. “Am I that good of an actress? No, I feel perfectly fine, that was just an excuse so Jisoo would let us go. But I wouldn’t mind a ride home, thanks.” she says, smiling at him sweetly. “I mean, you owe me now so it’s only fair that I get a free ride home.”

Yeonjun shakes his head, smiling as he pulls out his phone and texts his driver to pick him up at the front entrance. “Alright, let’s go then.”

Yeonjun had to admit that his evening wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He was worried that he wouldn’t be able to escape from the party, but here he was in his car with his driver driving away from it. He was dreading having to see his ex again, but he was pleasantly surprised by how her company had made the night tolerable, or fun even. The ride to her house wasn’t a very long one seeing as she lived in the same neighborhood as Jisoo did, but the whole time was spent with the 2 of them laughing and reminiscing, just like the good old days.

“Ah, here we are.” Rose says as the car stops in front of her house. “Junnie, I just wanted to say thank you for tonight.”

Yeonjun smiles at her as his driver gets out of the car and opens the door open for her. “No problem, Rose. I had fun too, thanks to you.”

Rose gives him a smile back, and before he knew it, she was leaning in and he was closing his eyes as her lips met his, melding together like 2 pieces of a puzzle. She tries to deepen the kiss by tangling her hands in his hair, but he pulls away, drawn back to the present-day reality.

“Rose, sorry, I can’t do this. I’m in love with someone else.” he says, his lips stinging as the guilt starts to hit him. “And I’m leaving to go meet up with her right now. Look, I had fun tonight, but like you said, we’re friends. Nothing more.”

Rose sighs, retracting her hands from his shoulders. She sits up, straightening out her dress before she says “Friends. Right, thanks again for tonight Junnie.”

As she stands up and exits the car, she takes one look back at him. “Whoever you love now, I hope they know how lucky they are. But I also hope you know that I don’t think you and I will ever be just friends, and tonight was proof of that. I’ll always love you, Junnie.” she says, giving him a small wave before she walks away, slamming the car door shut behind her.

Yeonjun watches her walk up to the front door, wanting to make sure that she’d make it into her house safely. Once she was out of his sight, he lets out a deep breath, one he didn’t realize he was holding in his chest. He leans back against the car seat, running a hand through his hair. His night wasn’t going the way he thought it would, but hopefully meeting B at the Fall Ball would set things back on track.

Or so he thought.

•°•

He wasn’t expecting the pang of jealousy that hit him when he finally saw B at the Fall Ball.

She was right when she said that his jaw would drop when he saw her dress. She looked breathtaking, and he smiled to himself when he noticed that her blue dress matched his blue hair perfectly. But when he noticed that she was on the dance floor with her face buried in some other guy’s chest and this guy’s hands around her waist, he felt his blood boil.

How dare someone else hold his girlfriend like that.

But as they sway to the music and they shift their positions, Yeonjun finds himself surprised when he finally gets a look at the guy’s face.

It was Soobin. Yeonjun should’ve known by the way he towered over B, and because of the fact that he had asked Soobin to step in for him until he could make it to the dance, but the feeling of seeing him hold B that way shocked Yeonjun.

He felt betrayed.

He trusted Soobin enough to know that he would never make a move on his girlfriend behind his back, but he couldn’t deny the sparks he saw whenever Soobin and B were together. All the way back from the first day of school when Soobin caught her from falling down the front steps of MO Academy, to Hueningkai’s birthday party when Yeonjun was people-watching and he noticed how Soobin had his eyes fixed on B the whole night, to the night of his birthday party when he noticed how flustered Soobin got when he had to kiss B, to tonight when he saw how intimate Soobin and B looked locked in each other arms on the dance floor.

He knew he wasn’t the best boyfriend, especially given the fact that he had kissed his ex girlfriend a total of 2 times now behind his current girlfriend’s back, but he couldn’t help the jealousy that was starting to pound into his ears. He knew that B got jealous too, and maybe she had good reason to given his history with Rose, but those were both mistakes. Those kisses weren’t his fault, and it was only normal for him to feel a little jealous too, seeing her with another guy.

Before he knew what he was doing, his feet were guiding him towards the pair on the dance floor and he finds himself tapping Soobin on the shoulder.

He sees a flash of something in Soobin’s face when he turns and sees Yeonjun standing there, but he ignores it. Instead, he smiles and says “Excuse me, but may I interrupt?”

B’s head snaps out of Soobin’s chest then, her eyes meeting his now, wide with surprise.

“Yeonjun! Y—you’re here.” she exclaims, jumping out of Soobin’s arms and towards Yeonjun.

He smiles at her endearingly. “Hey, Baby. I made it right on time.”

He watches as her eyes shift between him and Soobin before she smiles and gives Yeonjun a hug. He engulfs her in his arms, kissing the top of her head, his nose scrunching up when he realizes that her smell was tainted with hints of baby powder and vanilla. Soobin’s scent.

Soobin gives him a pat on the back then. “Glad you could make it. Cleaned up pretty nicely, too.” Yeonjun smirks. Of course he made sure to look his best. He had an extra shirt, tie and coat tucked away in his car and he changed on the way to MO Academy.

“Are you flirting with me?” he says jokingly. “Thanks for taking care of my Baby for tonight, Soob.” he says, purposely wrapping an arm around B’s shoulders and pulling her to his side.

“Don’t mention it. You 2 enjoy the rest of the night now, I’ll see you back at the table.” Soobin says, flashing a warm smile before he retreats, turning his back to them.

Yeonjun nods at him and watches as he walks away, but before he can get very far, B suddenly takes a step forward and reaches for his arm.

“Soobin, wait.” she says, causing both of the boys to freeze. Yeonjun stares at her hand clutched onto the ends of Soobin’s sleeve as Soobin looks back at her.

“Yes, B?” he asks tentatively. Cautiously.

B’s silent for a moment, and although her back was turned to Yeonjun, he could tell that she was struggling to say whatever it was she wanted to.

“I just wanted to say, um, thank you. For tonight.” she finally says, and Yeonjun feels a pang of guilt in his chest as he recalls how Rose had sad the exact same thing to him earlier that night before they shared a kiss.

“No problem, B. The pleasure was all mine.” Soobin says, smiling warmly at B and giving Yeonjun a small nod before turns and disappears into the crowd.

As Soobin walks away, Yeonjun wraps his arms around B’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder, mildly disturbed to once again catch a whiff of baby powder and vanilla. He leans in close, close enough so that his lips would brush against her ear as he whispers “You wanna dance, Baby?”

She turns to face him, a bright smile on her face. “I’d love to.” she says.

Yeonjun grins, subtly rubbing his face in the crook of her neck, hoping that some of his scent would rub off on her skin to get rid of Soobin’s smell, before he grabs her hand and spins her around on the dance floor, causing her to squeal and giggle.

Back at table 21, Soobin watches as B lays her head on Yeonjun’s chest, her hands laid on his shoulders as his arms circled around his waist, and he tries to put himself in Yeonjun’s place, which he was in up until a few moments ago. He watches as the 2 of them slowly move to the rhythm of the mellow music, and he watches as Yeonjun plants a gentle kiss on B’s forehead as the song ends, until a new one starts and they start dancing again.

And again.

He watches until Taehyun finally announces that the Jazzed club had already performed their final song for the night, and that the DJ will be accepting song requests.

He watches until Taehyun, Beomgyu and Kai finally get off stage and join him at their table, Yuna eventually joining them too, taking her place beside Kai.

“Soobin?” Taehyun asks, noticing how spaced out Soobin looked.

“Hm?” he responds, his eyes still absentmindedly watching the couples still dancing in the ballroom, or at least, on one couple in particular.

“Are you okay?” Taehyun asks, nudging him until Soobin’s eyes meet his.

Soobin forces a smile. “I’m good, yeah.” he says, leaving Taehyun unconvinced.

Taehyun takes a quick look around their table, making sure that Kai and Yuna wouldn’t hear him, before he leans in a bit closer and says “I saw you dancing with B earlier, and it looked like things were going well. What happened? Where is she?”

Soobin hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip before he tries to subtly tilt his head in the direction of the dance floor. Taehyun follows the direction, confused at first, until he spots a familiar head of blue hair in the crowd and the girl he had his arms around.

“Ah.” Taehyun quietly says, looking back at Soobin with a regretful look in his eyes. He gently pats his hand over his on the table. “So he came.”

Soobin smiles at him again, a little more genuine this time. “Yes, and I’m glad he did. Look how happy she is now that he’s here.”

“Mm-hm, I mean she looked pretty happy when I spotted you 2 on the dance floor earlier, but if it means anything, at least Yeonjun kept his promise. I was worried he wouldn’t make it, knowing how strict his dad is when it comes to business endeavors.” Taehyun says. “When did he get here?”

“Um, about 30 minutes ago?” Soobin says, trying to count the number of times he watched Yeonjun kiss the top of B’s head with every song that ended. “They’ve been dancing since he got here.”

Taehyun raises a brow. “Well, we all know how much Yeonjun loves to dance. I’m sure they’ll stop by the table to rest for a bit though. Are you sure you wanna be sitting here for the rest of the night? You could ask someone to dance with you, or go for some refreshments.” Taehyun offers. “Gyu and I will just resting for a bit before we hit the dance floor.”

“Yeah, my date’s been too busy dealing with last minute crisises all evening, we haven’t danced to a single song.” Beomgyu suddenly butts in, whining.

“It’s crises, not crisises.” Taehyun corrects him, grimacing yet inwardly wondering how he ended up falling for someone who could make such an adorably simple grammatical error. “And I promise we’ll dance soon. I’m just checking on Soobin.”

“Oh no, please, go ahead and dance. You guys should enjoy your evening.” Soobin says, feeling embarrassed now. “You don’t have to worry about me, I’m perfectly fine. I’ll be heading out and making rounds in a bit to check if everything is going smoothly anyway.”

“You heard him, c’mon Tyun, Soobin’s a big boy who can handle himself perfectly fine.” Beomgyu says, tugging on his date’s arm.

Taehyun looks around the table, noticing that Kai and Yuna had already left and were probably somewhere on the dance floor. He gives Soobin one last look before he sighs. “Alright, whatever you say. But if you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know, okay? I’m here for you.” he says, gently squeezing Soobin’s shoulder before letting himself be dragged away by a very persistent Beomgyu.

Soobin watches as Beomgyu drags him right to the middle of the dance floor, the crowd magically parting to let them through. All eyes seem to be following them as Beomgyu flamboyantly wave an arm in the air before holding his hand out to Taehyun, who rolls eyes before taking his hand, letting out a squeal in surprise as Beomgyu suddenly twirls him around before pulling him towards him, the 2 boys chest to chest with Beomgyu’s hands on Taehyun’s waist as they start to sway to the music.

“Wow, look at that. Who knew Gyu and Tyun would be so freaking adorable together?” B says, watching in awe as all eyes lock on the 2 boys in the middle of the dance floor.

“I have to admit, they are pretty cute together.” Yeonjun says, leaning down to whisper in B’s ear. “But I think we’re cuter.”

She giggles as his breath tickles her neck. “Oh, hush. Look at them! They look amazing together.” she says, and right on cue she sees Beomgyu say something in Taehyun’s ear and the younger boy rolls his eyes but then suddenly smiles at the former, unable to stop himself. “They’re definitely cuter than us.”

“Stop saying that, we’re adorable!” Yeonjun huffs. “I even ducked out of that stupid business party and rushed over here just so I could see you tonight.” he pouts playfully. “If that’s not adorable, then I don’t know what that is.”

“Sweet, that’s what it is.” B says, reaching up to cup his face in her hand. “The sweetest, actually. Thanks for being here, Junnie. It means a lot to me.”

He smiles easily, his cheeks warming up as she looks up at him. “It’s my pleasure. Anything for you, Baby.” he says, pulling her closer. “Because I love you.”

Now it was her turn to have her cheeks heat up. She lets out an awkward laugh, flustered. “Thanks again.” she says, not sure if she was ready to tell him she loved him back yet. “How was your evening, by the way? Was the party boring? Are you tired?” she asks, wanting to change the topic.

He laughs, knowing she was shy. “Ah, it wasn’t much of a party. It was more like a gathering of boring rich people trying to out-talk each other about who’s richer and who’s business is doing better and whatnot. It was physically and mentally draining to be there, but I feel so much better now that I’m here with you.” he says, as smooth as ever.

B raises a brow. “You always know what to say, don’t you?” she says. “My feet are starting to kill me in these heels. Do you think we can take a little break and sit at the table?”

Yeonjun nods, easily accepting her suggestion. “Whatever you want, Baby.” he says, leading her away from the dance floor and back to table 21, surprised to see that it was empty.

“Wow, I guess all the guys are busy with their dates.” Yeonjun says, sitting down after pulling a chair for B. “I wonder if Soobin has found someone to keep him company tonight, too.”

B’s eyes search the crowd, spotting their friends one by one, save for the said boy. “Ah, if Soobin’s not at the table he’s either getting some refreshments or dealing with behind the scenes stuff to check if things are running smoothly.”

“How are you so sure he’s not dancing with anyone?” Yeonjun asks, raising a brow.

“I’ve been trying to convince him to ask a girl to dance all night, but I guess he’s just taking his duty as Student Council President too seriously to relax and enjoy himself.” B says, shaking her head.

“That sounds like Soobin.” Yeonjun says, taking a quick peek at his phone before setting it down on the table. “Speaking of refreshments, want anything? I could get you a drink or maybe some snacks?” he offers.

B nods. “Oh, yes please! I mean, I knew you love to dance, but I don’t think I can keep up. I need to rehydrate before I step foot on the dance floor again.”

Yeonjun laughs. “My body’s used to it from all the hours I’ve spent training and practicing.” he says. “Okay, you sit tight and I’ll be right back with a couple of drinks, alright?” he says, planting a quick peck on her forehead before making his way to the refreshments table on the other side of the event hall.

B takes the time alone to marvel at the evening, from the beauty of the event hall to the performances by the Jazzed club to Yeonjun appearing right on time. She crosses her legs under the table, absentmindedly tapping her foot to the beat of the music, counting the number of couples dancing past their table, until she feels a buzz on the table and hears the ring of a message alert tone.

Her eyes instinctively move towards the direction of the sound, moving down leading towards Yeonjun’s phone on the table.

Upon seeing what the notification was for, she wishes that she didn’t follow her instincts.

She feels her entire body go cold, her eyes repeatedly reading the message until the screen goes black, the words etched in her mind. Surely, there must have been some mistake. Maybe she just was just seeing things. Before she can convince herself that her eyes must’ve been playing tricks on her, Yeonjun’s phone rings, the screen lighting up with a new message, the messages displayed on his lock screen clear as day.

Before she could fully stomach what she was seeing, Yeonjun returns to the table with 2 wine glasses in hand, taking his seat next to her. He was saying something about how he spotted a few couples getting a little too intimate on the dance floor, but his voice just sounded garbled to her. All she could do at the moment was try to absorb and make sense of what she saw and figure what she would do about it.

Yeonjun grabs her hand on the table then, snapping her out of her thoughts as he notices that she hadn’t been paying attention to a word he was saying. He turns her palm face up and lightly traces along the lines and creases, knowing how much she liked it when he did that.

“Baby? You okay?” he asks, concern plastered on his face.

She wanted to say ‘Yeah, it’s nothing’ or maybe something like ‘No, but let’s talk about it later.’ But before she could collect her thoughts and compose herself, her mouth spoke out the words without her consent.

“Were you with Rose tonight?”

Yeonjun freezes, his hand going still over hers, and her heart sinks as she realizes that it was true.

“Why would you think that, Baby?” he asks carefully, and her heart sinks further, lurching somewhere in the pit of her stomach.

“Yeonjun. Were you with her tonight, and did you give her a ride home?” she asks, and when he doesn’t respond, she continues. “You left your phone face up on the table when you left to get drinks. And while you were away, the screen lit up with a text message from her. I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything, I never had any reason to doubt you or feel the need to worry about you hiding anything from me. Until now, that is. All I did was look down and I saw it without even meaning to, so if you were gonna hide it from me, you should have tried harder. Heck, it’s like you didn’t even try to hide it at all.”

“Baby, no—” he begins, but B’s eyes widen as another thought comes into her mind and she interrupts him, the words pouring out of her mouth as the thoughts enter her mind.

“Oh god, you didn’t even try, did you? You were with her and you didn’t even try to hide it. Is it cause you wanted me to find out? Is this your way of saying that you don’t wanna be with me anymore? Is this your messed up way of letting me know that you’ve been seeing her and maybe you didn’t know how to tell me so you leave your phone here on purpose so I’ll see it and get the hint?”

“It’s not like that.” Yeonjun says, his eyes trying hard to relay what he was feeling.

“I get it. You wanted to be with her tonight so you go to that stupid business party but then come here to break things off with me? Or heck, maybe you wanted to get lucky with me tonight before breaking things off with me to be with her, is that it? That’s what Choi Yeonjun does, love ‘em and leave ‘em, right?” she says, her tone becoming less shocked and confused and more frantic and spiteful.

Yeonjun looks at her, the hurt in his eyes apparent in his face. She was spiraling, the thoughts swirling around in her head growing more twisted and mixed up the more she thought about it, but she couldn’t help it. Her thoughts were coming out unbidden, as if her mind was flooded and her mouth was a stream just letting it all out

“Baby, Baby please, listen to me. Let’s go outside, someplace quiet.” Yeonjun says, standing up and begging her with his eyes to follow him. “Baby please, come on.” he pleads, lightly tugging on her hand.

She takes a deep breath and nods almost mechanically, standing up and following his lead. As he guides her through the crowded event hall and out into the hallway, he keeps looking back at her to see if she was still following, but whenever his eyes met hers, it felt like she wasn’t even there. They pass by Soobin on their way out, speaking to the security team at the entrance about the guest list and the tickets. When Soobin catches sight of Yeonjun looking tense and B following behind him, he’s confused. When his eyes meet Yeonjun’s, they’re full of nothing but concern, but Yeonjun just shakes his head at him without stopping.

He only stops when they reach the parking lot, the sound of music playing from the event hall almost inaudible outside in the chill of the night. As a gust of cold wind blows between them, he attempts to offer her his coat to keep her warm, but she holds her hand up, unbothered by the cold.

“Yeonjun. I need you to tell me what’s going on right now, because I swear, I’m going out of my mind trying to comprehend what I saw.” B says, her voice oddly calm and detached.

Yeonjun takes a deep breath before he begins, saying a little prayer that things would go well. “Okay, yes, I was with Rose tonight. The business party I attended was hosted by Kim Jisoo, and if my birthday party was any indication, where Kim Jisoo is, Rose naturally would be there too.” Yeonjun admits. “I wanted to invite you to come to the party with me, but I knew how excited you were for the Fall Ball and I didn’t want to ruin your night by forcing you to come to this stupid party with my ex present, so I thought it would be better if I simply stopped by the party for a bit and then spend the rest of my night here with you.”

“So is that supposed to make me feel better? And what makes you so sure I would’ve preferred going to the dance without you over going to some stupid party with you?” B asks, her frustration growing. “Why did you make that decision for me? And if you felt so forced to attend this stupid party, why did you have to spend the evening with her? Why did she feel the need to text you then? Were you hanging out with her the whole time? Did you even try to keep your distance from her after I’ve told you how uncomfortable I feel about you with her?”

“Baby, that’s not fair, I was just—”

“You know what’s not fair? You attending a party knowing fully well that your ex would be there. No, wait, I know your attendance at the party and the attendance of your ex at the party is something beyond your control, but Yeonjun, you could’ve at least told me about it! You could’ve given me a heads up, you could’ve simply let me know instead of doing it behind my back.”

“Baby, the only reason I didn’t tell you is because I didn’t want to ruin your night and I didn’t want you to feel bad. I was just trying to protect you!” Yeonjun says, his voice raising slightly when hers did.

B looks at him incredulously. “Wow, protect me? By lying to me? Yeonjun, I’d rather live with the hard cold shitty truth than live in blissful ignorance with a lie. And can you honestly say that the only reason you hid this from me was to protect me? There’s no other reason why you didn’t tell me?”

Yeonjun hesitates, only for a moment, but seeing it made B flinch. Over the course of their relationship, there were a few things that she had taken notice of about Choi Yeonjun. When he was excited about something, his voice would go a few octaves higher. When he was nervous about something, he would bounce on the balls of his feet nonstop. And when he was lying about something? He would take a deep breath and his eyes would fall to the ground, which is exactly what he did just now.

Upon seeing her flinch, Yeonjun starts to panic, feeling a sense of alarm, as if he could either make or break the situation depending on how the next few moments play out, as if there were a ticking time bomb and he only had a few minutes to defuse it before it exploded.

“Baby, look, Rose means nothing to me. Seeing her tonight was just a chore, and I only hung around her cause my father wants me to stay on Kim Jisoo’s good side, and you know she and Rose are close friends—” he reaches for her, hoping that his touch would break down her walls, but she steps away from him.

“Okay, let’s just cut the crap. I am willing to let this go, to forget all about this and merrily move on and dance the night away with you if you honestly tell me one thing.” B says.

Yeonjun looks at her hopefully, nodding eagerly. “Yes, yes, alright, what is it?”

B takes a deep breath. “Has anything ever happened between you and Rose since we started dating?”

She watches as the hopeful light in Yeonjun’s eyes dies, his face dropping and his shoulders sagging, and she feels her heart break into a million pieces.

“Thanks. That’s all I needed to know.” she says, her voice cracking as her hands start to shake.

“I’m sorry. Baby, I’m sorry, but I promise, it wasn’t that bad, it was barely even—” he begins again, but she couldn’t handle it anymore. All she could feel was her heart being torn out of her chest and bleeding out on the pavement. She squeezes her eyes shut.

“Yeonjun.”

B could feel the heat behind her eyes, knowing that tears were threatening to fall. She could feel heart pounding out of her chest, her hands shaking as she bunches them into fists at her side, clenching them together to stop herself from falling apart right then and there. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” she continues, knowing that it was true.

“Baby, please, wait.” Yeonjun pleads, taking a step forward and reaching a hand out towards her. She closes her eyes and takes a small step back, keeping the distance between them. He visibly flinches, hurt by her aversion, but he continues to speak. “Please, take 3 deep breaths and try to calm down. Hear me out. Please.”

B keeps her eyes shut, shaking her head. “Yeonjun, no. I can’t do this. I don’t know how I can possibly get past this. I don’t think I could ever let this go.” How did her night go so horribly wrong? She was wearing the most beautiful dress she had ever laid her eyes on, she was having a blast at the Fall Ball, dancing her heart out letting go of all the worries she had, and she had been surrounded by people who she knew loved and cared for her.

So how the hell did she get here?

Yeonjun feels his heart drop. “So what do you want to happen now? What do you want me to do? Tell me anything, and I’ll do it. Baby, I’ll do anything for you. Just please tell me how I can make this right.” he starts, pleading helplessly as he feels her pulling away.

“You want to know what I want to happen?” B asks, gathering up the strength to look him right in his eyes, tears falling down from her own as she says, “I want this to stop. This, us, this evening, this pain, this nightmare, I just want this all to stop. I think the best thing you could do for me now is just let me go, don’t make this hurt any more than it already does. Just let me go.” she says, now pleading as well, tears now spilling uncontrollably down her face. “Yeonjun, please, just let me go.”

“Baby, please, don’t.” Yeonjun says, his voice cracking as what she was saying hits him, knocking the air out of his lungs as his breaths start to come out in sharp gasps, his eyes damp with tears that threatened to fall.

B shakes her head, taking a shaky breath and biting her lip to stop it from quivering. She takes one last look at him looking painfully beautiful with is blue hair blowing in the wind, his soft eyes looking at her like a lost child, his plump lips shaking as he tries not to cry. She takes one last moment to look at the boy she loved before she says

“This is goodbye, Yeonjun. I’m breaking up with you.” •°• Author’s note: Thank you so much for your patience!! The past few weeks have been very hectic. The typhoon that hit my country a few days ago and the 2 days I spent without electricity definitely didn’t help, but alas, here’s chapter 16!! Please let me know what you think, don’t be afraid to leave a message, anonymous or not, cause my asks are open!! I’m still trying to figure out how to make my Tumblr more easy to navigate, but don’t be afraid to reach out to me!! Don’t forget to stream We Lost The Summer MV!!

25 notes · View notes

sunflowerhae · 4 years

Text

-> you’re mesmerized ✉

-> love! triangle (Jeno, Renjun, OC)

-> ♡ ☾ ✓

playlist• heather, conan gray/Something, The Beatles/ flowers in december, Mazzy Star/ A BOY IS A GUN*, Tyler the Creator/ love again, nct dream/ soft universe, AURORA/ butterflies, kacy musgraves•

──────── ❝ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 ❞

•December 3rd plays in your mind as u and Jeno stand by his locker on the first day back to school from winter break.

•although it was a month ago, u still remember it like it was yesterday

•u and Jeno had gone to the fair in your town

•the last one of the year. They called it the winter festival

•basic

•but ur friend group had a tradition of going together.

•everything was going fine, until you and Jeno had broken off from the group to look at the phat christmas tree.

•you had forgotten a sweater, and Jeno was more than willing to give u his, along w one of his famous eye smiles

•u swore up and down (In ur own head) that that was the day you knew you liked (loved) him

•Jeno couldn’t stop staring at you in it. And when u turned to him, all he said was

•”it looks even better on you than me.”

•and then he kissed u

•yeah

•so this is love

•you thought something would happen when you went back to school that Monday.

•but nothing came. Just Jeno refusing to meet ur eyes

•or talk to u://

•Jaemin said it was because he was scared and that you just needed to be patient

•u accepted it, and waited for the day he kissed u once more

•by Christmas break, y’all were back to being best buds™️

•and you thought maybe when Y’all returned for school, he would have worked up enough nerve to seal the deal w you

•but on that first day back

•in front of his locker

•Jeno locked eyes on the new girl, heather, for the first time

•the way he looked was absolutely beautiful.

•he had wide, open eyes

•and he couldn’t stop staring at her as she walked by and Laughed at something her tour guide said to her.

•yeah, he looked absolutely mesmerized

•but it wasn’t directed at you

•and you knew you lost him

•by lunch, heather was in your group

•turns out Jeno had history with her. And he wasn’t as “scared” as Jaemin said he was at making moves

•all the boys loved her, and while you really wanted to hate her

•u couldn’t deny that she was an absolute angel

•she had an eye smile, like Jeno

•and dimples

•and long, beautiful eyelashes

•and a beautiful laugh

•and she could keep up w haechans jokes, and chenji so easily called her noona, something they never did w you

•Jaemin tried flirting w her, but Jeno looked so protective over her, that Jaemin turned to you and shrugged while wrapping his arm around u

•u wanted to throw up when heather politely asked u and Jaemin how long u had been together

•and Jaemin threw his arm off u, and made gagging noises while the rest of the table laughed

•heather got red, and mumbled an apology to you while bowing.

•You wanted to hate her, you wanted to yell at her. But then, ppl would know that you liked Jeno. Jeno would know. And that was too embarrassing

•so you smiled at her, laughed, and shook your head while holding up a hand

•”Jaemin and me? Please, I’d rather die a lonely virgin with 50 cats”

•Heather laughed, and scooted closer to you, and said “it’ll be so nice to have a girl friend!”

•yes, u wanted to throw up.

•but u just wrapped your arm around her, like Jaemin did to u

•and reassured her that you two were already getting married, while she laughed

•over the course of the next two weeks, she spent more and more time with ur group

•and in three weeks, it was no longer just you and jeno by his locker every morning, but you, Jeno, and heather

•you and her were talking about how terrible the lunch food was

•when Jeno came up, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder Before giving her a kiss on her forehead, to which she blushed furiously for

•your mind went back to four nights ago, when heather scream texted u (“JSNSISHEVRB”) that Jeno had drove over to her house with milkshakes, took her to a park, and asked her to be his gf

•u cried all night, four nights ago

•after he says hello to u, y’all three talk for a while before the bell rings.

•Jeno and heather start walking towards class, talking about some random thing, while u walk slower in the back, basic third wheel style

•you couldn’t stop staring at their interlocked hands.

•u felt bad. Because heather had easily become ur best girl friend

•but u loved her boyfriend

•and u lowkey wanted her to die

•:/

•u felt like this wasn’t fair.

•u had known Jeno far longer than she did

•why did she get him?

•your thoughts silently went on like this for three more months after this incident.

•May 1st.

•every 1st, your group developed a routine of going to this cafe, just down the street from haechans house

•you would all order milkshakes and fries and sometimes burgers or onion rings

•and you would all just have a good time

•you were feeling a lil down today

•heather had told u that her and Jeno kissed for the first time, and said they loved each other

•to make literally all matters worse, she was wearing the sweater Jeno had let u wear, all those months ago

•the pain in ur heart had numbed. It didn’t hurt so bad anymore everytime you saw them w interlocked hands, or w his arm around her, like now, where they sat across from you in the half circle booth.

•you couldn’t stop looking as ur usual waiter, Jane, came up.

•”hey y’all, I hope you don’t mind, but we have a new worker that needs training, and since y’all are so sweet, I figured he could practice on you? Is that okay?” Her sweet southern bell accent made it hard to say no, not that your group of friends would anyway.

•u actually knew Jane quite well. She was in ur grade, and sat next to you in art.

•u loved her honestly

•u also loved how the blush on Haechan’s face increased, and he couldn’t look up to meet the sweet red heads eyes, which were actively looking at the young boy

•ah, young love

•u made a mental note to talk Haechan up to her tomorrow in art (which you texted Haechan under the table, and he looked up at u in surprise with a smile on his face)

•when u looked away from Haechan, up to the new waiter standing in front of you with a shaky voice and nervous eye

•u felt like the air was sucked out of u

•oh my God that’s the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen

•you knew u looked mesmerized

•wide eyes, open mouth

•u looked like jeno, three months ago

•jeno saw this

•he didn’t say anything, but he saw it

•tbh, jeno did like u on december 3rd

•and he was going to tell u he liked u on the first day back, after break

•but heather was,,

•amazing

•the one thing he ever needed

•his soulmate, he thinks

•that didn’t mean he still didn’t care for u

•but when u so willingly befriended heather, he thought u were okay

•so he never questioned it

•but the way you looked at the waiter,,

•he thought you looked mesmerizing

•so he was going to help u, bc u deserved it

•when the waiter got around the table and finally turned to you to ask for ur drink, he locked eyes on u and

•my man dropped his pencil pad

•he got so red, and went to pick it up, but halted when you started giggling at him

•he sent a smile ur way, then went to reach to get the pad

•renjun had liked u since freshman year

•he hated biology, but ur beautiful smile and the way you threw your head back when you laughed made it waayyyy more bearable

•he had never talked to you, and barely saw you when sophomore year came around

•but that didn’t mean he didn’t think abt u

•u were literally always on his mind

•he was so excited for Advanced Art 3 this year

•he had heard there was a lot of portrait drawings

•and he had gotten marked down before for drawing you for assignments when he wasn’t supposed to (not by much doe because they were THAT good)

•so he was excited to freely be able to draw u

•but bruh when he walked in and u were

•THERE

•ugh he was sad

•not that sad tho bc

•u were THERE

•he saw u a lot with the only other girl in ur friend group, so he felt too embarrassed to say hi

•but he promises his bsf, mark, that he would have if u were alone,,,

•all the damn time

•(mark don’t believe him doe, i agree)

•he had never looked directly into ur eyes

•which is why everytime he drew u, he felt like the eyes were wrong

•so wrong

•but he couldn’t place what it was

•but having u look into his eyes now

•my god he was so excited to go home and draw u

•but u,,,u were not excited

•bc wtf just happened

•u,,at the time,,didn’t know u had just met the loyl

•bc u had only ever really liked jeno before

•u decided to push that shit D O W N

•but jeno

•he was like “nah”

•he had said that he wanted to pay, and before anyone could argue (k like anyone would argue) he grabbed the bill and shuffled heather out of the seat so he could get out

•he grabbed her hand and walked towards the cash register, where jane was standing

•when u saw them holding hands it,,weirdly didn’t bother u

•all u could think abt was that beautiful waiters smile

•jeno and heather walked up to jane nd were like

•”jane, 🅱️ls get our waiter, we have to play cupid.”

•renjun: comes out from the kitchen

•jeno: “y/n, the girl sitting over there? yeah, this is her number”

•jeno: slides over the bill, w ur # written on it (he put it in the section that said “Tip_______” bc he thought he was funny. like, ur tip is a whole ass gf)

•renjun: blush

•jeno: “just tell her who u are bc she doesn’t know we’re doing this but we can tell y’all like each other uwu”

•renjun: huh *sweat*

•jeno: “mkay byeyeeeee”

•renjun indeed did text u that night

•after texting mark first (“JAJSNSNDBSBDBD BRUH GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED” “new phone who dis” “MARK DIS IS SERIOUS DIENDJAJSB”)

•and mark coached him through what to say

•so naturally, renjun looked like a fucking idiot

•but u thought it was cute uwu

•and u were sharpening ur ax to literally murder jeno uwu ❤️✨🌙😌

•when renjun asked u if u wanted to go on a date uwu

•and u were like “ummmm yeth”

•u agreed y’all would over the weekend

•but yet

•when u walked into art the next day and bumped into a rando

•and looked up

•and you and renjun locked eyes

•u had a feeling y’all would be hanging out sooner than the weekend

•the thought had u smiling wide while you said hello

fin.

──────── ❝ end ❞

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yicruz48 · 4 years

Text

My Review on the Teen Titans(2016) So Far

Date Written: March/14/2020-March/18/2020

Updated: May/10/2020

[Overall review of Special 1, Annual 1 and Issue #20-40]

My Opinion So Far [Issue #20-40 written by Adam Glass]:

-> In comparison to the first 19 issues of the Teen Titans, issue 20 and on have been bearable.

-> I will reiterate this over and over again; I will never understand why create new characters (Djinn, Roundhouse and Crush) when DC has a perfect stash of characters that Damian is already acquainted with (Colin, Maya, Surren, Maps and Jon). Although, having characters like Red Arrow (Emiko Queen) and Kid Flash (Wallace West) apart of the Teen Titans is understandable.

-> But again, in comparison to last group of Teen Titans [issue #1-19], I favor this group more. The first 19 issues are just literally Starfire, Beast Boy and Raven parenting Damian in Bruce's absence.

-> In my opinion this group is much more balance in terms of heroing experience:

A) Literally new to being a superhero and working in a group: Djinn, Roundhouse and Crush.

B) Still figuring out their place in superhero world: Robin, Red Robin and Kid Flash.

-> I am totally in favor in Kid Flash being considered the “moral compass” of the group. But so far in the Glass’s run haven’t really seen Wallace really prove this.

->It really shows that Glass had no idea or didn’t bother to do research on Emiko. Glass wrote Emiko as a sort-of Damian clone (And we all know Glass doesn’t write Damian well, so a badly-written-Damian-clone). Emiko is much more sarcastic and upbeat type of individual and wasn’t written that way.

->You can also tell Glass didn’t do research on Wallace. Wallace has a love for comics, is actually quite intelligent and is a prodigy engineer, but none of that was really expressed in the 20 issues.

->Crush, AKA Xiomara Rojas is a character besides the core three that I’ve grown to like. She is an empowered latinx Lesbian feminist who could care less what you think of her. But her backstory is rooted in stereotypical and racist beliefs. Her adoptive parents were druggies who were constantly running away from legal issues...ring a bell? Yea, its the common stereotype that latinos are all drug dealers, a stain on society and always run away from the legal ramifications of their actions. As as a latina myself, this was was extremely disappointing to see.

-> I have a lot of issues with the hyper-focus on Robin, as much as I love Robin content, I feel like like every-other mission the Teen Titan’s have revolves around Robin. I would like to explore Red Arrow, Kid Flash and Roundhouse’s character development more. And I believe writer’s are totally capable of advancing Robin’s character development without the mission being tied to him anyways.

-> I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Robin’s ongoing goal to create a criminal system better than their superhero processors (mainly Batman and Superman) who only arrest criminals in a prison with “a revolving door” which criminals always escape from. Although, I ABSOLUTELY hate how Adam Glass has handled how Robin has gone upon learning the best system.

-> I have to admit, I like how most of the members are comprised of teens that...

A) Been raised/used to kill; Robin, Red Arrow and Djinn.

B) Are related to villainous characters; Robin, Red Arrow, Kid Flash, Djinn and Crush.

In the words of Kid Flash, the Teen Titans are just, “a bunch of screwed up kids,”

-> I strongly dislike the love triangle that Adam Glass (the previous writer) was creating between Robin, Crush and Djinn. I felt like Djinn was just created to mimic the popularity of Damian x Raven and it just lessens the value of characters like Crush and Djinn. (Plus I am on the side that believes that Robin should developing his friendships before developing a romantic interest). Hopefully, Robbie Thompson (New and current writer), will throw that idea in the trash. Although I wouldn't mind Djinn × Crush though😶.

-> Also I hate the connection Adam Glass created between Robin and Roundhouse (Billy Wu). It was soo unnecessary, and he could've found another creative way to get Djinn a trapped in her ring🙄.

-> Love the growing friendship between..

1. Robin and Red Arrow

2. Red Arrow and Crush

3. Kid Flash and Roundhouse

4. Crush and Djinn

5. (Would like to see Robin and Kid Flash’s friendship grow)

-> The build up to "The Other" for over 18 issues [Issue #20-38] was disappointing. I am still trying to understand the villain motivations because it made no sense whatsoever besides the obvious fact that Adam Glass was attempting to give Robin yet another useless redemption arc he didn't need.

-> Excited at the connection between “The Book of the Damned” and Batman #666 ( I will most likely make a post expanding on this). This offers an explanation as to why Damian was suddenly using magic in that one Batman issue and claiming he could take down Superman with magic in another issue.

-> Robin's "Prison", AKA torture chamber. Although it's not out of Damian's character to believe that his father's way of imprisoning villains in Gotham is GREATLY lacking better security, I DO NOT THINK DAMIAN WOULD CREATE A PRISON, much less a torture chamber. Damian does research on ALL the batfamily including his own father, he would know that Bruce attempted something similar and failed which would make Damian hesitant about creating his own. Instead of developing his character this whole fiasco with the prison just ruined it and gave Damian haters another tool in their arsenal to “prove” Damian is evil (which no, its just bad writing).

-> Yes, I will acknowledge that Robin is not the kindest of the batch. But Blackmailing Black Mask with threatening to put his son's life endanger-even if he was bluffing-would not be something Robin would do. Robin is known to have compassion for children (*cough cough* Batman: Streets of Gotham) and wouldn't use a child as leverage to get his way EVEN if he was desperate.

-> Robin basking in the pain of his prisoners. LIKE EXCUSE ME, WTF. Like Robin does enjoy beating up criminals who deserve it but the way Adam Glass wrote it made it seem like Robin was a sadist and a psychopath.

-> Pissed off they killed Emiko’s development by killing Deathstroke. There really wasn’t any real reason given as to why Emiko “killed” Deathstroke.

-> Don't get me started on the fight between Red Hood and Robin. JUST DON’T.

But I have hope:

Teen Titans issue #39 and #40 written by Adam Glass and Robbie Thompson.

As you may or may not know, Robbie Thompson has now replaced Adam Glass as a writer. And his first issue he worked on was released February [issue #39] and I've already been seeing some improvements. Robbie will be fully taking over after issue #41.

-> Robin has stepped down as leader. Leadership in the Teen Titans will now be a collaborative approach.

-> The Teen Titans struggling and learning on working as a group instead of working under one leader. They've already failed their first mission as a team without Robin as leader. Which I'll give them a break for, they've recognized how poorly their plan was executed themselves. But this just shows that the writer is demonstrating that the Teen Titan's is still learning how to best work together without a leader.

-> Robbie Thompson is now writing Damian more in character. Instead of writing him off as an asshole for no reason like previous writers.

-> Confirmed Damian went to hell after being killed by Heretic. With an added plus of the Teen Titan’s finally learning a bit more about Robin’s past.

-> Brought up Damian’s ongoing internal struggle of finding his own path that isn’t influenced by his father or his grandfather.

-> I’ve gotta admit, issue #40 has exceeded my low expectations I have set for the past 19 issues.

What I am Actually Looking Forward to [Upcoming Issues]:

Teen Titans #41 / Teen Titans Annual #2

Written by Adam Glass and Robbie Thompson

-> Finally, we get Batman's involvement in all this. I just hope he doesn't beat up Damian like he did Jason 😒. I’d like to add there was actually foreshadowing for this encounter in Teen Titans #26 (I believe).

-> But the only reason I am looking forward to this because it seems like Robin has been keeping this new group of Teen Titan’s secret (including their base), or at least heavily restricting Batman’s involvement.

-> And even though I think I know why Damian has been trying to keep this new Teen Titans a secret from Batman (if my theory is correct), I'm curious to hear it myself from him (if the reason is written well).

-> Don't get me wrong, I am pissed that the writers decided Batman is going to fire Robin. Although, I am not against Damian being his own superhero (I actually don’t want Robin to take up the Batman mantle), but I can see DC writers abusing this. Killing his character development and making him evil like they've been foreshadowing in some comics 😒.

-> Although, I am not sure if it's really gonna happen, or Damian got the memo, because Damian appears to wear the Robin outfit in future covers of the Teen Titans.

-> I am excited the current Teen titans getting a glimpse of Batman's and Robin's current strained relationship(maybe even learning more about Robin’s upbringing). The Teen Titans (except Red Arrow) are always criticizing Robin for his way of thinking without questioning the influence to his thinking.

Teen Titans #42

Written by Robbie Thompson

->Batman kicking them out of Mercy Hall? I am actually kinda of excited for a Teen Titans without a base.

-> But I wanna know what this means; less oversight by Batman or more?

-> I wonder what will motivate the team to retrieve Robin back into their team? The only one's who actually seem to have some sort of relationship with Robin is Red Arrow and Djinn, besides them, everyone seems to despise Robin

Teen Titans #43

Written by Robbie Thompson

-> We are FINALLY getting a proper reaction from Robin to Nightwing's near death. What we got from Nightwing Annual was definitely not enough.

-> Apparently, Damian goes on a hunt for KGBeast (who shot Dick). Which I don't see as out of character because we all know how much Damian cares for Dick, who is a brother and father figure to Damian (more than Bruce).

-> Hopefully, the Teen Titans don't let him kill or have lethal vengeance against KGBeast because that would just kill his character development 😡.

->I wonder if this issue will tie in with the Joker War where apparently Dick is suppose to get his memories back. I doubt it, but thought I’d mentioned it.

I've been reading Teen Titans because I've been desperate for new Damian content. But it seems like the comic is finally starting to get interesting with Robbie on board.

I wanted to give you an honest review on what I've thought of the Teen Titans so far just in case you've been on the fence about reading it or not. I've tried not to hold back on my criticism so my review is as honest as it can be.

So I'll leave it to you guys to decide whether you will read it or not.

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ducktracy · 4 years

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80. buddy of the apes (1934)

disclaimer: once again, racist content and imagery is in this review. i don’t at all endorse it, this is purely for historical, educational, and informational purposes. the stereotypes and caricatures are gross and wrong and need to be exposed as such. please let me know if i can do anything to make this review more bearable, and PLEASE correct me if i say something harmful or offensive. i never want to hurt any of you. thank you for taking your time to read this and understand.

sorry for the bad quality again, it’s the same quality as buddy the gob (which also constituted a disclaimer, coincidental?). we have ben hardaway’s first directorial credit! he, friz freleng, and jack king would dominate the cartoons of 1934 and 1935, tex avery stepping in with gold diggers of ‘49 (or ‘35 in this case). hardaway would direct 7 buddy cartoons and go back to being a gagman and storyman, co-directing with cal dalton starting in 1938 while friz freleng briefly left for mgm, returning to warner bros in 1940. here, buddy resides in the jungle, but a cannibalistic tribe may put the tiny tarzan in jeopardy.

our tiny tarzan comes out of his “house”, inflating his chest and giving a hearty, grating, obnoxious call of the wild that will be reused many times in this cartoon. joy! he swings from vine to vine, accompanied by some slightly out of place yet nice music by bernard brown (who’s credited instead of norman spencer).

buddy engages in some flintstones-esque activities (granted this was 26 years before the flintstones), showering under the trunk of an elephant and brushing his teeth with a cattail. other animal centric gags include a giraffe gargling water, an alligator using a porcupine to brush his dentures, and a monkey shining a hippo’s teeth.

elsewhere, a mother gorilla is rocking her child, feeding him coconut milk. the mother proves herself to be rather responsible, leaving the baby alone. as all curious babies do, the baby rocks its cradle—so aggressively that it topples over the edge and into a river.

terrified to find her child gone and floating happily down a river, the mother gorilla rushes to buddy for assistance, who’s cutting open a coconut. the monkey is on trajectory to topple right over a waterfall—but not if buddy can help it. he attaches a vine to a dagger and tosses the dagger, sticking into the back of the baby’s cradle.

buddy pulls the mischievous monkey to safety, and all is well as the animals of the jungle celebrate uproariously. the mother gorilla scoops up her child and scolds it, the other animals dancing around buddy in celebration.

now enter the stereotypes. a blackface caricatured native spies on the celebration through a telescope, and is delighted at what he sees. he slides down the coconut tree he’s perched in (some nice visuals of the bark shedding off) and runs to a village, where the leader sits in his throne—almost identical to bosko shipwrecked!. i had no idea there were so many cartoons about cannibals, let alone racist interpretations of cannibals. the spy fills the king in, who responds “well, shut my mouth!” he rings a dinner triangle (which is a man’s nose ring—gotta have those gross stereotypes, now).

the entire village congregates at the sound of the bell, including a man reading “NUDIST NEWS”, two men playing ping pong with their mouths, and a family, their baby swinging by their nose rings. the king explains the situation in nonsensical garbles, and the village chases off, the king carried in his own escort. the music is nice and snappy—the only plus i can say for this half of the cartoon.

buddy and a monkey are playing a game, which is interrupted by a spear nearly taking off buddy’s finger. he sees the charging tribe and places the monkey on his back for safety, swinging up to his hut in the trees and giving another excruciatingly annoying call of the wild.

all of the animals in the jungle collaborate with buddy. an elephant uses seeds as bullets, a kangaroo beats up a man who hangs by a spear (tossed by buddy) by his nose ring, and a hippo is used as a cannon, a monkey swinging and hitting it in the butt to fire the coconut cannons. the coconuts hit the natives, who fly over the edge of a cliff and swim away. a pelican also holds a monkey in its beak, who tosses coconut bombs below—right at the cannibal king. porcupine needles and coconuts consist of the artillery used against the cannibal: all intriguing gags but tired. as always, appreciation is significantly lessened with all of the stereotypes and caricatures running amuck.

buddy swings on a vine and kicks the cannibal king’s head in, beating him to a pulp. the dust settles and buddy is on top, giving a victorious call of the wild as the monkey places the cannibal king’s crown on buddy’s head. iris out.

not my favorite cartoon at all. after just seeing goin’ to heaven on a mule, this feels extremely mild. the stereotypes and caricatures are all there in their gross lack of glory. as always, i understand the historical context, how it was a different time—still doesn’t make it any less wrong, though, and doesn’t mean they were okay then and wrong now. these depictions have always been wrong. nevertheless, the first half was slow but slightly amusing with the animal gags. the music was lovely and the animation... it was hard to see because of the print, but it wasn’t the worst. ben hardaway isn’t one of my favorite directors, but i don’t hate him at all. i’ve only seen a select few of his porky cartoons anyway, so i’m still relatively new to him. from what i’ve seen, he has much better entries ahead. ultimately, skip this cartoon. it has a lot of action, but drags on the entire time, and the caricatures/stereotypes make it unsavory. but, as always, i’ll provide a link, just view at your own discretion.

#lt #buddy of the apes #reviews #long post #racism tw

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deviationdivine · 5 years

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Caustic Salvation (RK900!Prompt Request! w/Connor)

TLDR: Never made to love, he simply destroys to accomplish his mission...

Word Count: 3,381

TW: Heavy Angst, Pining, Character Death, Allusions to Smut

A/N: Follower/Reader Appreciation Drabble | Prompt: “Did you really think I loved you?” - @your-taxidermy request! This turned into some fierce angst I couldn’t let go and a bit of a triangle. Thanks for participating sweetie! Hope you like! If there’s errors I’ll fix them but I need to post this. I’m actually proud of this one.

“I want to take you somewhere. Private and reserved for no one but us.”

Affection.

How you long to hear it pass his cold lips. Molding as a notch in a slot connecting to seal what once burns aflame. Even chilly his kiss retains warmth spreading a righteous inferno.

If ice can conduct heat then his eyes are a source of comfort. Impenetrable to everyone else around him but hauntingly open to you there is shock in his amiable introduction. It is there.

Underneath all his stoicism, serious facade beats a heart of a man. To you he has a heart, a tin man who captures yours from the beginning. A man not an android because he is much more.

You tell him this. He politely if curtly declines small talk. That is how it starts.

It builds until there is nothing left to hold back. As much as you were close to Connor friendship became the pinnacle between. Nines, however, he opens floodgates and swamps the tender emotion hiding inside.

Why does a light gather towards darkness? How can something soft coexist with an indurate stone?

The anchor steadies you. There is serenity in stability. Somehow, you did not think to find such and most of all not with him. However, it happens. Whether it is realized or not, slowly but surely Nines creeps into your lonely life.

“Are you a quiet storm brewing in the substructure of circuits and wires or a gentle breeze fluttering around a crescendo of my heart?”

“I will be whatever you want me to be.”

Promises sweet they are a line of life. How delicate in need this fairy tale blooms but all at once it becomes so clear. As a sunny morn bathing the world in light and vanquishing the dark. Yet, still an edge tingles upon mechanical digits twisting your dainty strings.

Are you merely brittle, shaving off piece by piece carved by your lover’s command? Or simply lost amid constant craving by heart’s demand?

Your heart sings for those nights stowed away from rest of the world. They are silent. Only sound between two pairs of ears, one far more advanced than the other but equally perked together.

His kiss is molten. Shivering tempestuous, cradling you for the first time. It is your first moment of intimacy.

Quietly fuming down in the evidence room, attempting to get some extra files looked at and isolation stabbed at you. It was colder in a way. Without anyone to offer company, no husky voice of Connor and crooked goofy smiles to placate this overlong work week.

You assumed you were alone. Then…then you were not.

Nines scared you to death. Quickly recovering it was then the building attraction reacted. Pulled together you were two magnets in the night, metallic energy, sweeping you into strong arms but never crushing.

Instead this kiss crushed you in many ways. It crushed your dream of Connor that will never be. It was never his fault. If you had to be his friend the rest of your life that was enough for you.

RK900 blazed in to sweep you off your feet. Seemingly he had done that, unknowingly you had succumbed to the most terrible plot of all.

“He is not what he appears, Y/N. Believe me.”

“No. Connor, please! Just stop. Stop…”

What is wrong with Connor? Why is he acting like this? Now of all the times he could’ve showed some type of interest, he does it after finding out you and Nines are dating.

It hurts. To believe the one boy who never in a million years would do anything to make you unhappy and this happens. Jealousy is not real. He’s only doing this because he’s not the only android detective now.

That is what you believe. Nines makes sure you do.

“Do not allow the opinions of others to taint what we have, Y/N.” The RK900 spins words of comfort. Craving such affection, he readily offers because it is the greatest benefit for his objective.

“But Nines he doesn’t mean anything.”

Standing up for Connor causes a curious reaction in the superior android. A first blinding sign of software instability…

“Nines?” Quietly gaining his attention, brushing fingers down his chest, the soft sweater rests firmly beneath your touch. He stills with a stroke of palm and tugs you close.

Devouring your mouth, slipping smooth tongue through the warm cavern between parted lips claims you out of spite. As a machine pretending he does not require validity.

However, there is an urge to lift your body away and ravish every inch. Witnessing Connor’s reaction would please him to no end.

Machines do not feel pleasure. It does not stop his need to taunt the RK800. The idea will bring him great satisfaction. Little does this impeccably advanced model realize in this moment you already begin the spread into his system.

“What are you doing?”

“Ending this charade.”

Sweetness turns bitter, poisoning both mind and body. This is where your heart dies. Withered away a tainted apple eaten down to its core and burrowing out the other side by a ferocious worm.

Everything is blood, tears and anguish. Bleakest night in a thousand nights as darkness casts over Detroit. Nines is no longer stark white and majestic. He is pitch black and the soul reaver.

“Connor was right,” you whisper regretful. Pain consumes more than is bearable because what once gave so much takes everything away in a snap.

RK900 does not flinch. Ultimately he discovers no amount of remorse in these actions. This was his plan all along. There is no turning back.

Strewn upon empty warehouse floor, tears cascade in a glistening symphony of despair. Shed for your precious Connor. Shed for the RK800 whose seeming uninterest pushed you into the arms of a white demon, thirium staining jacket, the essence of his target. Murdered in the most horrible place he could have been.

Defunct Cyberlife Tower makes for an ironic location. He led Connor here. The deviant took the bait.

Nothing may be here any longer but that does not mean Cyberlife is gone. They are still operating undercover. He is their agent of stealth moving through shadow, blending with humans as a deviant android. Nothing at all is deviant in him. Even if you tried to cause glitches in his software he is too strong to be fooled.

“Nines! I know you wouldn’t do this!”

Begging is a pitiful display he ignores. Saccharine protests echo in a hollow tin. No longer full of thousands, androids awaiting release of merchandise, released instead by RK800-51.

Designated Connor model #313-248-317 came under swift destruction when RK900-87 struck out in his completion. Mission successful flickered in his syntax until a glaring shift took over. Another influx of software instability shudders but not in guilt over accomplishing assassination of Cyberlife’s original prototype.

Your face blinds following the splatter of thirium. Lodging a bullet in the brain of android you truly love. He knows this. He understands deciphering interactions at the DPD, watching careful for a slip to slither in and compromise.

It is easy. While naivety shrouds the clarity of the RK800’s return in affection for you, RK900 coils into favor. Using the inane lack of confidence in yourself to benefit him, Nines begins a careful tug. Slipping in concern about state of being following late nights at work; Connor would do this. The newer model would watch a private talk between you two, smiles and laughs.

An opening came when Connor is stuck out late with Hank Anderson. Specifically assigned cases to the department’s best in android crime affairs they are out more often. Nines slithers into your orbit, piece by piece planting doubts to the closeness you share with the other android.

After all, Connor does not love you that way. The RK900 hints as much. He purposely inflates your misleading thoughts on the matter. That is how he snares. It is how he begins to get close to that one thing that will give him a clear victory.

Here in the now the handgun aims directly at your head. Ice narrows straight down the barrel as you continue to grovel for him.

“Th-there’s something wrong.” Suggesting quickly it’s the only explanation to this. Maybe there is a virus in his system. It might have altered his perception and changed him in some horrible way.

Is that what Connor meant? No. No, he-he meant something else didn’t he?

Please. Please, don’t destroy this. This is everything. It was everything. You gave all knowing each outcome may be riddled in hardships. A human-android relationship is difficult in hindsight even whence this all blew over. You thought this before him with Connor. That was only a pipe dream. A beautiful boy like him would never love you but tonight –

It would have worked; no longer running in fear but Nines was not there during.

The RK900 came after. He is still shunned by those who accepted Connor. Is this why? How can it be an answer when he threatens you? When he-he did this to Connor!

Nines loves you. This is what he spoke softly in nights of passion.

“Can you love, Nines?”

“I can love you.”

“Nines, please,” a gasp shatters composure as everything snaps.

A bundle of energy expels between two bodies. You scratch nails into his shoulder blades marking synthetic skin for only a short time. The trophies of love will fade but they will never fade from you.

The android groans barely audible below your ear. Hips lie snugly between your thighs pushed to the hilt amid your warmth.

Stirring a deep response out of his metal frame, Nines traces fingers along the length of your body. Sweaty beneath him as a pause in the strenuous evening satiates even a race of hearts.

He feels more against his chest pressing atop yours. A human thrum flutters not quite in sync with his regulator but touching in harmony. Only a sheet of metal covered in liquid, pale skin separates the most machine parts of him from your delicate humanity. Many things are feeble in his eyes. That is how they are made but this-this surges within at an alarming rate.

As much he will like to stop it is too far along. He is too far into this ruse. The more it sticks to synthetic skin, RK900 loses another edge. Dulling blades and softening him is not part of the plan.

Only the mission matters. He takes you to infiltrate personal space. Staying with you even though he is not required to fall into comfort; pillow talk, as it is called, loosens those lips in detail.

Kissing them now seals another step. Seduction enraptures intricately around your heart. Easily giving over to him because of the love you honestly crave, thought lost in the footsteps of Connor and Nines takes advantage. Nines embraces you sweetly to fill a falsity.

He is sweet only in protocol. Programming himself, pulling upgrades into the equation, drawing him ever closer into the fold of the DPD.

You grant him this proximity. You place the bull’s eye onto his target without knowing.

As you return to slumber this first eve of lovemaking, android lying beside, threading an arm to keep you close for an image desired, RK900 stares blankly into the void. The machinery in his head hypothesizes, constructs steps and analyzes every outcome to fulfilling the mission.

It is then he closes eyes. LED blinks amber before steadying but it is not stasis he falls back to.

“RK900. Tell me of your status.”

“Things are going remarkably well, Amanda. It is only a matter of time.”

Time does not exist in the zen garden. Unchanged since Connor’s disconnect, blooming anew with a more powerful source. Connection to their highest of upgrades the RK900 breathes this fresh landscape grown over last tendrils of ice from whence RK800 escaped.

He offers shade to Amanda. Hoisting umbrella above to blot out speckles of rain, he moves steadfast beside the petite master program, listening intently as a machine who should obey.

“What about the human?” She asks, intent solely held with the dark opaque of her scrutinizing gaze. “This relationship. Do you feel it is a necessary step in order to complete your mission?”

The android shifts stopping upon the arch curve of bridge. Rain begins pouring heavier in time with his hesitation.

“It is necessary,” he decides. “I will use this to advance the current stage of my infiltration. The RK800 will be destroyed. As you order, Amanda.”

“Why did Cyberlife really send you? When the revolution is won?”

“Careful who you question, Connor.”

Careful eludes his inferior. Nines’ warning seems futile. In the fight it begins equal both RK800 and RK900 locked to the death. It becomes clear even for this android that fakes deviancy, pulls tender threads from your human vessel only to use to get closer. You and the RK800 are close but not in a lover capacity. That is why the newer model inches his way into your pathetic heart.

It is far too simple. You make his mission easier. After all it is you who ultimately offers inside information on Connor’s schedule. Living a fabricated life in viral disease; he takes every bit from you.

You are also the reason Lt. Anderson lies in a puddle of his own blood. Another human obstacle who saw fit to suspect RK900 of nefarious means early on his arrival. It did not take long for him to convince Connor. Then he attempted to warn you but of course denial is what you love. As he represents that and more but no machine can love.

No machine will truly feel. He fakes this but a small spark of pleasure seeps in. Physically from those times playing the perfect lover but also mentally.

Shoving it in the face of the RK800 placates him. It stirs dominance, smug self worth. He enjoys the obvious jealousy that rages behind the deviant android’s eyes.

Perhaps if your pitiful self esteem did not keep you from discovering the obvious love this defective android held for you. Then you may be spared. Only to accomplish to his mission strictly set by his creators. Masters of the artificial intelligence, branding him the most acclaimed and he will never fail.

He did not fail. A tough battle leads to one calculated aim.

Connor fights for you, to protect you from what he knows is to come but his emotion derails him. The original android sent by Cyberlife missteps because of his love, his fear for you.

That is what killed him.

“I’m so sorry, Connor! I-I love you. I loved you so much.”

“We both know what you really loved. You loved me. A ruthless machine.”

Everything burns in your vision. Breath stagnant, chest pounding and thirium staining fingers. Where you cradled Connor’s head once discovering his body sprawled upon floor. Shining, echoing in fast paced steps, dropping to knees frantic and searching for a sign.

Only glassy chocolate bore into the void. A gaping hole trickles eternal blue where his deviant life snuffed from one direct shot.

Even now fingers latch onto Connor’s jacket. Pulling at him in desperation knowing why he tried to warn you. He did love you. Why couldn’t you see? If you did – things would be so different. Turning back the shades of time is a fantasy because nothing will erase what has come to pass. Nothing will bring this sweet boy back. Connor died a true death. His deviant self is gone and frankly you find yourself gone with him.

Ra9 save his soul. Please, please, please don’t let him fade away. His soul was beautiful. Please!

“Time for tears are over, Y/N.” Nines interrupts your quiet mourning, devastation forcing a tremor in your frame. “Did you really think I loved you? It is time I finish. I am after all the RK900. Faster, stronger, more efficient. I am the android sent by Cyberlife.”

Cyberlife!

You spit on them. Monsters that hide somewhere unknown but this horrible place is a reminder. Connor was here once. He came to free his people. Now he lies dead! Dead in their domain where they bore him out some nightmare laboratory!

Yet, his face is still serene. He can no longer see or smile but nothing will change. Forever a kind, awkward boy who loves dogs; you lean forward to place lips against his cheek, kissing a freckle as the sobs pour over.

Let this be a mercy. As everything falls back to that time of terror before revolution’s end take this villainy away. Allow a bathe into light, the same kind that shone in soft brown eyes. Let it be good when you awake you again. Maybe this time it will be what is right in front. Maybe then Connor will be alive. Even so at what cost? Why?

“Cyberlife will never win.”

Strength exudes as you look into the face of the man, no the heartless machine that you stupidly gave your heart to. When all you had to do was look at Connor, his sweet smiles in deviancy, his warmth despite his design to do exactly what Nines is now; Connor became alive. He became sweet and a place to feel safe.

Friendship began this and there is where it ended. Foolish you never thinking, never dreaming or hoping Connor will see you more. Then it was too late. Far gone this thought and prayer…

All that remains is a hole in the heart and a desolate stare outwardly to your fate. Raising a chin now brings tear stained streaks, bloodshot eyes onto that face almost identical but harsher, wider and a seal of death.

“Just do it, Nines!” You scream, fury overtaking sadness, betrayal and heartache. Oh so much you ache. For this so-called love and-and for your sweet Connor.

“End me,” you plead. “I want to be with him! I just want to be with Connor now.”

Nines’ digits loosen the tiniest of margins on weapon. A sow of doubt in his programming? Fight to retain his machine persona over needles of deviancy, he cannot allow this disease. You are viral. Contagious!

You-you rather the corpse of a defective cretin over what he is! Filthy deviant! RK900 will not follow footsteps of the RK800. He will do what he failed to do. Amanda will not be disappointed in him!

“Then go,” the android sneers, LED ablaze in sickening scarlet. “Go and be with your RK800! There is no heaven for androids, Y/N.”

A smile draws the lips upon your face. Smiling in the face of everything torn apart but still you hold even then.

“Oh, yes there will be,” so sure the breath escapes that it fills you with a final instance of peace. “Because he was alive. He was an angel. And you won’t stop me finding him there.”

RK900′s facade cracks following the resounding bang of gunshot ending not only your life but contagion. As he lowers the caliber weapon he cannot tear eyes from the still form. Defiant even this truth your life ebbs away but you still find a place to fall, slumped atop Connor’s chest.

Human and android lying dead, blue and red mixing a palette of violet; the moment everything clears a faint smile remains upon your lips.

“I’ll be with him, Nines.”

A phantom echo dissolves his stiff posture. Your voice sticks. It is spreading throughout circuitry, buzzing in mockery. In the end there is incompletion to his mission.

The last laugh against what Nines did to you. Happy to die for a deviant!

He digs fingers into his coffee colored hair, attempting to dig, peel synthetic scalp apart and dismantle an urgent transmission of deviancy. Software warnings pop into vision blurring your peaceful position resting eternally upon his predecessor, inferior and obsolete. Yet, it is still enough for you to crave an end to torment to meet him again.

RK900 screams out in this torrent of infection lying dormant since the first time he became one with your human flesh. It rips him apart bringing him down to knees in a static bellow.

Slowly but surely this instability you leave harboring inside like a symbiotic pest will fry the circuits of brain and drive him viciously insane.

Tag List: @elydith @your-taxidermy

#dbh #rk900 x reader #dbh rk900 x reader #dbh connor x reader #connor x reader #dbh nines x reader #nines x reader #follower/reader appreciation #dbh drabbles #detroit become human #dbh drabble choice #drabble prompt #personal prompts #actually proud of this

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chickennoodlesoupfortae · 5 years

Text

Backstage Love p3

A/n- Welcome to part three when it all goes down. This took me forever and I won’t be updating this series for at least the next week. Mentions of Jungkook. Who doesn’t love a love triangle? I hope you enjoy and someone please request something! Enjoy, like, and comment.

Summary- What have the past two weeks been like? Where to start, falling for someone you shouldn’t, working a job you shouldn’t have, and being away from your family well that’s a recipe for disaster. Just when you think your heart has had enough another man walks into the scene.

Word count- 2.1k

Warnings- Fluff and what that entails

p1 p2

The roar of the crowd consumed the understage you were hidden behind.

“We can’t be doing this tae.” you sighed into his ear as his kisses found a home in your neck

“We can though.” he looked into your eyes and began to kiss you again

“(y/n) can you please come to grab us some coffee for the manager's suite. Thank you doll” your pager snapped you back to reality

“Fuck not again,” you mutter to yourself as you push away the fantasy that had previously consumed your thoughts. You walk out of the break room and into the pantry. Grabbing a few travel cups you began to brew the coffee and turning on the kettle.

“Let me hold you (Y/N)” his soft voice whispered a beg into your ears

“I want you to hold me in your arms and call you mine” you replied as your mouth found his. Your hands travelled down his back pulling him into an embrace. The sound of the crowd overpowered the sweet nothings you both confessed in the moment. A beeping sound broke the silent atmosphere in a loud setting you both had created.

“What is that Tae?” you asked him looking away

“Nothing baby let me kiss you more.”

“But that sound what is it?”

“Shit there we go again,” you exclaimed pulled out of your daydream by the coffee machine. Your badge dangled from your neck as you poured out the black liquid into five cups adding milk and sugar to two and keeping the other three black. You grabbed an extra cup and filled it with the water you had put to boil and grabbed a tea bag. You walked out of the pantry with a cup holder and six cups of hot liquid.

You had learned how to navigate most stadiums after working at three of them in the past two weeks. It was the day before the concert and the hall was empty except for staff and the performers. The white concrete walls outlined the entire stadium causing the halls to look creepy and slightly scary. It was ten pm and most of the lights were off. The air was humid and icky due to the hot temperature of the location. It was hard to keep a good outlook on your situation because it wasn’t like you choose or applied for it. You just had to do it. Missing the people in your life was the hardest part. You could rarely call home for two reasons. One, the workday was incredibly long. Two, every time you called your mother yelled at you or your friends ranted about how jealous they were or how they missed you. Making calls home an overall stressful experience.

On the first night alone you had barely slept at all. You had gotten out of the hotel bed and walked around the halls. You tried your hardest not to think of that night because it was one where you wanted to go home so badly. Thinking about it made you want to sleep in your bed and hang out with your friends and… it was too much to think about. Once again you were lost in your head and unaware of your surroundings.

“Why does this always happen.” you groaned looking at the darkened hallway. You kept on walking forward in hopes of finding a sign which could give you a clue to where you were. You began to get scared it was such a dark venue and there were so many hidden halls and you were all alone. Your paranoia was getting the best of you. That’s when you saw a tall shadow come up behind you. You tried not to scream and snuck a peek behind you seeing no one.

“Boo.” a familiar voice said

“Aghhhh,” you screamed almost dropping the burning liquid. “Taehyung you almost made me spill-” you started

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me tae?” he asked you with his boxy smile.

“Sorry.” you looked down. “Do you know how I can get to the manager's office from here?” you asked him “Wait aren’t you supposed to be there now?”

“Ugh, I forgot. Yes. Here let me help you with one of those trays.” he took the heavier one of your hands.

“Here this one is for you.” you pointed to the tea.

“Oh, you remembered I don’t like coffee. I’m touched.” he did a dramatic fake cry

You looked down feeling yourself blush.

“Just around the corner.” he walked in front of you. “And the managing suite.” he exclaimed opening the door for you.

That’s when you went into super assistant mode.

“I have two regular coffees for Ken and Janise.” you grabbed the coffees and handed them away. “I also have three black coffees for Megan, Susan, and you Ma’am.” you weren’t quite sure where the nickname had come from but your boss insisted on only going by ma’am. You grabbed the three other coffees off of Tae’s tray handing them away to their owner. “And last but not least one cup of green tea decaf with no sugar.” you took the cup out of the tray he was holding and then handed it to him taking the tray away. “That’s all would anyone like anything else.” you picked up the empty container you had placed on the table stacking the two of them together. The room remained quiet. “Well if you need anything please let me know.” You closed the door behind you. It had taken you a total of twenty-eight seconds to finish the distribution, a personal record.

With that over you began to head back to the main area deciding to take your first break all day. The emptiness felt cosy now. Somehow, it was completely different than what you had felt only ten minutes prior. You felt yourself start to smile uncontrollably. “He opened the door for me.” you did a twirl in the empty hall. Then you realized what was happening and your twirl stopped midway. “No. This is- no.” you put on your best stern face and walked up the stairs leading out of the hall.

This is how it had been for the past two weeks. Somehow you and him would find each other in the craziness of traveling and preforming and share moments together. It was only with him. You hadn’t spoken to any of the other members for more than three second let alone the make up artists. That made it more lonely since you knew no one and where the only person in your branch. But every time you shared moments with him it made it more bearable.

‘What if I do feel like this. Why do I feel like this? Wow was that basic (y/n) falling for a boy band member. Eww, get a grip of yourself your not a thirteen-year-old girl.’ you scoffed out loud to your thoughts. You continued to the next staircase. ‘Even if I was- and that’s a big if -it’s not like it would ever work. So what I’m hearing is that we don’t like him. We don’t like’ you cringed at the thought of his name. You got onto the next flight of stairs. ‘He would never like me. Why would he ever like me? He did open that door and did you see that smile.’ your thoughts were going wild again. You got onto the next flight of stairs without thinking. ‘No he’s just being nice. He’s a nice guy.’ you felt a smile creep onto your face ‘he’s just so nice why is he so-’ you giggled.

“Did I just giggle,” you asked yourself the realization snapping you out of thought. “Where am I? How do I get lost so easily? This must be a personal record.” you muttered. You walked through the enclosed space seeing no other stairs to take. You walked through the opening and were greeted by a big gust of wind. “Holy shit,” you screamed. You began walking down the stairs. “How did I get up so high?” you were in the nosebleeds of the stadium. The air was cold and the fall was huge. It’s not that you were scared of heights it’s just that it was almost eleven pm and you were all alone. “It’s like I’m asking to be killed.” you half-joked to yourself.

“Yeah it’s not very safe to be here all alone,” someone responded

you screamed. Twice in one night you had been scared by an unknown person

“Calm down. I’m not going to kill you.” a man's voice said in between laughs.

You turned around to see Jungkook or how you referred to him as your seventh boss. “Oh I’m sorry to disturb you, sir, I thought I was alone.” you gave a fake laugh accompanied with an equally as fake smile.

“It’s no problem. I’m the bad one here. I heard a giggle and I followed the sound.” he scratched the back of his neck.

You were taken aback by his friendly tone. Similar to- no you didn’t even think that name. “Oh yeah that was me.” you laughed. “I just wanted to get a breath of fresh air and I think I wondered a little too far.” you turned your back to him and sat down at the front row.

“Do you mind if I sit with you,” he asked walking down.

“Not at all.” you lied. This was your first conversation with another member in the two weeks you had been working with them. The whole situation gave you anxiety.

Both of you sat in silence. You looked below you onto the thousands of other seats. It made you dizzy thinking about how all of these would be filled.

“So what do you do here?” he asked while looking at the badge you were wearing. “(y/n).”

“I’m an intern/personal assistant to your assistant,” you replied

“Oh, how come I haven’t seen you around then?”

“I usually get the stuff for her and then she gives them to you or whoever needs them so I usually don’t come in contact with the recipients, in this case, you.” you didn’t look to your side but you felt him looking at you.

“That’s a shame,” he responded

‘Is he flirting?’ you wondered ‘No wait this isn’t a fantasy he’s just being nice.’ “Yeah I guess.” you looked over mustering the courage. His eyes were shiny and sweet, his hair was fluffy and slightly long. He was so gorgeous but for some reason, all you could think about was how much you wished Tae would look into your eyes for as long as you are now.

“So how are you liking the touring life so far?” he broke eye contact and looked forward prompting you to do the same.

“It’s been nice kinda lonely though. How about you? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“The same except it’s not so much as lonely but more isolated in the abundance of company.” you could sense the emotion in his words.

“I get that.” you both continued staring now in silence. You looked up at all the stars. The sky was surprisingly clear allowing for the view to be beautiful. “I bet all those stars feel the same.” you pointed up.

He didn’t look up “I’m sure they do.”

The sound of your pager broke the haze you were both in.

“Hi (y/n) come in. (y/n) come in.” you heard the static come again signalling for you to respond.

“Hi yes this is she,” you said pressing and then un-pressing the button.

“We need you on ground level with some papers I left in the office for the arrangement of some seats.”

“On it boss,” you responded.

You stood up. “It was nice meeting you. Jungkook right?” you asked just realizing you never asked his name

“Yes. I hope I see you around some time (y/n)” and with that you excuse yourself

You took the elevator down to the ground level with the papers in hand.

The floor was surprisingly bustling with staff members this late in the night. You spotted your boss as she spotted you.

“Doll. Thank you so much. Please get me another round of coffee and then you can head to the hotel and rest.” she gave you a pleading smile.

“One round of coffee coming up.” you smiled

With the coffee delivered and the papers given, you arrived at the hotels provided for staff in the outskirts of the town. You laid down in the crappy mattress with dust flying in and around you. You let out a big scream.

“I don’t like him.” you didn’t even know who you were talking about anymore.

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forestwater87 · 5 years

Note

Are you still doing the ship meme? Well, I have a challenge for you: (evil grin) DAVID, DANIEL AND GWEN IN A POLY RELATIONSHIP! :D

Oh, sweet Moses. I normally do these from oldest received to newest out of fairness, but … Christ.

Let’s do it, then:

So here’s the thing: if it includes dan//vid, I tend to be in the “hell no” category. If it has any Gwen whatsoever, the lowest I can possibly give it is “eh” because I love her beyond all reason. So I’m splitting the difference on this one.

and i’ll also tell you who:

proposes

Fucking … how would any of this even happen, though? There is no universe where I can get these three together that makes literally any sense. Fuck. Fucking. Goddamn it.

I mean, obviously it’s David, right? Who else would it be? Gwen isn’t gonna propose to Daniel and risk being humiliated – seriously, the closest I can see between them is some sort of kismeses kinda thing, where they both can’t stand each other but keep falling into bed (at least in part for that very reason). David is the glue that holds them together, if anything could. His heart is very full of love and it can sorta spackle over some of the rougher patches (maybe. Maaaaybe).

shops for groceries

Daniel’s presumably at least in part wanted by the cops, and not even Davey can be trusting enough to let Dan anywhere near food. And Gwen … she probably actually ends up doing it the most, even though I initially assumed it’d be David because he’s such a go-getter. But the thing is, David’s a real go-getter when it comes to things he’s actually interested in, but a lot of the times he leaves the grown-up stuff to Gwen to take care of, and I imagine this would be one of them.

kills the spiders

Daniel, hands-down. Gwen would, absolutely, but Dan gets there first and honestly … he probably wanted it more … Gwen just sorta retreats and thinks for a long, long time about why she’s in this goddamn nightmare of a relationship again.

And then David comes to her room and asks if she’ll say a few words about the dead spider, not really because he has any strong feelings about a dead bug but because it gives him a chance to compliment her talents with words and get her mind off their weird boyfriend-roommate-thing, and she remembers.

comes home drunk at 3am

That’s all of them, undoubtedly. Gwen, because she insists she has to be drunk to make Daniel’s presence bearable; Daniel, because he won’t be outdrunk by Gwen of all people (and if you think they’re gonna have sloppy blackout sex in the bar’s bathroom you’re wrong, but only because David will find them and herd them back to decency); and David, because he’s convinced he has a better tolerance than he does, and always gets distracted by the fruitiness of the drinks he favors and forgets how much alcohol they actually have.

makes breakfast

David. Gwen is still asleep, and while Daniel is awake, he’s probably off skulking around doing something cult-y and doesn’t remember to eat most of the time, anyway, so David has to cajole them both into getting some food in them before they stagger out to do their bullshit camp bullshit. (Dan and Gwen’s words, not David’s. Obviously.)

remembers to feed the fish

David is meticulous about feeding the fish – in theory. He does keep getting swept away by other things, so while he made a very careful and colorful feeding chart, he also usually doesn’t remember until late in the evening, at which point he panics and rushes back to the cabin. Where he finds out that Gwen’s already fed the fish, because she’s the goddamn grownup in this relationship and at the camp and just deserves the world (okay, got off track there, sorry).

I could actually kinda see Daniel picking up the slack with the fish, if Gwen was busy and David was off doing his David things. Very reluctantly, and only because he doesn’t want to have to deal with the guilt-grief David would collapse into if he let the fish die, but I also think Dan’s strict adherence to rules could lend a kinda OCD compulsion to it; like once he starts doing something, he keeps doing it because … well, that’s now a Thing he Does. (Gwen//vid could probably get him into a decent number of good – or at least less-bad – habits in that way, come to think of it.)

decorates the apartment

Oh, David. Gwen has a few items she will not part with, so they become part of the decor (if you think the Werewolf of the Month calendar is going anywhere you got another think coming), and Daniel probably would as well, but those things are cult things and are under no circumstances being displayed anywhere in the homestead. He probably has, like, a shed where he keeps his weird cult shit and David and Gwen try not to think about it.

Their place would be adorable and woodsy and absolutely only suit David’s tastes, but somehow the other two don’t mind. It’s … nice, being surrounded by David-ness all the time. It’s cozy.

initiates duets

Oh god, David and Daniel sing all the time. I refuse to think of it as anything too mushy because that makes me a tiny bit ill, but I feel like any duets would either start out or end up as lowkey competitions, because neither of them has any chill and both want to be the best at everything, ever, all the time.

As much as I love the idea of Daniel and Gwen having some sort of “Better Than You”-style song rivalry, I can’t see Gwen ever being up to singing in public and that makes me sadder than anything in the entire world. Because it’d be so fucking great and I want it so bad.

falls asleep first

Do David or Daniel sleep? Probably not, let’s be real. So Gwen falls asleep first by default, even though she often stays up til like 1am, because she’s the only one who really sleeps. David is too much of an insomniac, and Daniel is powered by cult juices that no longer require him to sleep or something.

(Or he’s a crazy fuck. Also a possibility.)

sends the most selfies

Oh, that’s a close call. Gwen takes selfies when she feels cute, David takes them when he remembers to actually be in the frame of whatever he’s taking a picture of/with, and Daniel avoids the camera at all costs because the last picture taken of him was a mug shot and he doesn’t need any updated documentation of his appearance, thank you.

So basically Gwen//vid are a normal couple and also Daniel’s there, Gollum-ing around in the background.

Kinda a good summary of how I see this poly ship working out, actually.

makes the first move

There are a couple interesting ways this could go – because I’m still stuck on the “how the fuck did we get here?” side of things. Gonna toss out some ideas as they occur to me, in no particular order. Pick your favorite:

David and Gwen were already a couple when Dan showed up, and David was having some Complicated Feelings™ about being attracted to their coworker (and some panic; I don’t feel like David would normally feel conflicted about his sexuality, but if he was already in a relationship it’d absolutely feel like cheating). He finally talks to Gwen – especially if Daniel’s flirting with him, which Daniel would because Daniel’s a dick – and she’s okay with letting him explore that side of himself (though she kinda wishes he’d picked someone who’s less the Absolute Fucking Worst; is he a cult serial killer in this version of events? I don’t know; I’m deliberately not thinking very hard about it because no Daniel-centric ship really works if you think about it). So it becomes something of a V with David in the middle, until at some point I imagine Gwen and Daniel get hammered, into a screaming argument, or both, and then do something they both regret and suddenly they’re kinda all a thing and neither Dan or Gwen are quite sure how to feel about it.

Gwen//vid aren’t together, but one or both of them has had feelings for a while; Daniel swans his way into camp and is all charming and a douchebag and a murdering piece of shit, like he is, and … I think David would be more easily won over, because he’s just so sweet and trusting, and so the two of them start something … I imagine David would keep it secret from Gwen, because he knows she’d disapprove, and it turns out she does but whoops she’s also kinda totally jealous as well because she knew him for way longer and he just … swooped in … And then it all comes out and they realize they’re in Love but hey, Daniel, and again I think the V makes the most sense until something triggers Gwen and Daniel to hook up, at which point it kinda closes into something resembling a triangle.

None of them are in a relationship, someone does something stupid and they end up in a weird “friends/frenemies with benefits” situation but David is too soft for that life so Dan//wen just kinda grit their teeth and get along because they both love David too much to let this go, even though they’d really prefer their current relationship of “hating each other (with occasional and regretted benefits,” which was much more their speed.

I half want to find a version of all this that is happier and fluffier but … I just can’t get there from here. David is maybe sweet enough to forgive Daniel for all the child-murdering stuff (again, don’t think too hard about it or it falls apart), but I think Gwen would see right through Dan’s crap and never reach a point of liking or trusting him, and Daniel would feel the same distaste because he really prefers people who fall for his shenanigans and feels unsafe around someone who so clearly isn’t buying any of what he’s selling.

plans spontaneous trips

Where the fuck are they going to go? Who is going to be in charge of that? How on earth do we get there from here?

Seriously, this ship makes no goddamn sense and I do not know what to do with any of this noise. How dare you, Anon.

How so very dare you?

#campcamp #camp camp roosterteeth #what the fuck even would this ship name be?#danvidwen #i guess it's danvidwen #ask forest #ship meme #oh my god kill me #this was insanely difficult and i hate all of it #i mean i will always love daniel and gwen sniping at each other because that's classic ddau fun #but adding romance to it?#and i made david wayyyy too sweet and sunshiny here but he'd have to be basically a saint to ever forgive daniel enough to date him #and since i don't think he's a 'sex without feelings' sort i don't see a kismeses thing working out for him #so it's gotta be genuine romance #which only works if david is kind and forgiving to the point of seeming brain damage #and you don't think too hard about all the heinous crimes daniel's committed #really it's just a very 'don't think about it' ship all around #so like #don't think about it #Anonymous

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putschki1969 · 6 years

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Hikaru Birthday Event 2018 – Live Report

So…since my last report was stupidly deleted by yours truly and I only provided a mini-report, I thought I would write a proper one for you now. This time around I am using google docs so I hope nothing will be deleted. Without further ado, let’s get to it!

The day of the event was my second day in Japan. I was still quite exhausted from my travels but oh well, it wasn’t too bad. I got up pretty early and met up with my friend Sai to line up for the merchandise. We were at the venue (Suntory Hall Tokyo) at around 10 am to make sure we got everything we wanted. Thankfully the wait wasn’t too bad since we were protected from the sun underneath the building. It was still humid as hell but pretty bearable. Some Japanese Kala-fans from twitter said “hi�� to me and as always I was super awkward. Sorry!! Anyways, after the wait was over, we finally got to buy our goods. I bought pretty much everything except the towel because meh, I am not a fan of towels. So yeah, I got the white shirt with the pink triangle, the cap, the ticket file and the booklet\clearfile set. Here’s a sneak peek at the booklet in case you haven’t seen it yet 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ CLICK ME

By the way, the goods are available on the Space Craft Online Store since yesterday so be sure to get them quickly!! https://spacecraft-shop.jp/kalafina

Afterwards we headed to “La Maison Kioi” (the Kalafina SPICE interview location) to enjoy some cake. Then we headed to Shibuya to check out the Starbucks seat Keiko sat at in the 10th Anniversary Film. Just a while back, Hikaru had tried out a Calpis drink so e decided to have it too. The place (Afternoon Tearoom) was close by so that was very convenient. The lassi was certainly interesting, it had quite the unique taste, not sure I would order it again though XD.

Slowly heading back to the venue, we came across a bunch of fellow Kala-fans who had just gotten out of the afternoon event. We only heard good stuff so of course we were more than excited. At the venue we met up with lots of other Kala-fans and made some new friends. Then after another hour or so we were finally allowed inside. I delivered my letter and the ones by @theraspberrybushes and @mello-chi and then I went to my seat.

The event started on time…with a more or less unspectacular power point presentation regarding all the questions Hikaru had been asked in the questionnaire. I am pretty sure they used all the questions because there were at least 40 or something. No way in hell I could memorise all of that, especially since the questions/answers went by way too fast. Some random stuff I remember. • Hikaru’s favourite numbers are 2 and 7 • She owns around 1000 mangas • She can read a volume in about 30 minutes • If she hadn’t become a singer she would have wanted to become a mother in her 20ies • The type of character she likes in games: Men-tough; Women-peculiar and beautiful • The type of men she likes: Kind and calm • Favourite colours: Monochrome, blue and red • Favourite game: Momotaro Dentetsu • He favourite castle is Himeji • Her favourite characters in FGO are Gilgamesh and Shiki

Sorry, I can’t think of anything else. She also replied to my questions about recommendations in Toyama but she wrote like ten places or something and there was just no way for me to read it that quickly (especially since I suck when it comes to location kanji) But really, the questions weren’t exactly the highlight of the event but the most amazing part about this section were the childhood pictures of Hikaru which were randomly thrown in between questions. Like seriously the cutest pictures ever of baby Hikaru (and her little sister). Chibi-Hikaru was so freaking adorable, I could barely contain myself. We saw her wrapped up in cute winter clothes with her cheeks all red from the cold. With pig-tails! (♥ω♥*) We saw her in her pjs at home watching TV.

Then she finally came on stage wearing the gorgeous outfit you saw in the blog post. The top is by IENA in case anyone is interested. Of course I ended up buying it because how could I resist???? http://zozo.jp/?c=gr&did=55355842

She sat down and personally replied to three more questions that were asked frequently. The first one was about her in-ear-monitors. Someone was curious what they always hear when they wear them. Hikaru explained how they work and how they tune out unnecessary noises etc. Next question was about which merchandise she designed was the most memorable for her. She didn’t actually reply to that question iirc but she used that opportunity to introduce this event’s goods. A staff member rolled up a cart with all the merchandise and she introduced them all similar to what she wrote in the Harmony countdown. Sakurada Hirotaka helped her come up with the goods so he deserves credit as well. She also explained that the colours of the shirts represented Kalafina’s origin colours. The final question was about mobile games and how much time she usually spends playing them. If she is into a game and there is an event going on, she will pretty much play all day long. As soon as she gets up, on the train, during breaks, in bed…until she falls asleep XD

Next up was the manga corner. I spaced out a little here. She always read a page out of one of her beloved mangas and then she talked about why this section felt so special to her. ・xxxHOLiC ・My Hero Accademia ・Tenshi Nanka Ja Nai

Please don’t ask me what she talked about. I have literally no idea. I have never heard of these mangas so it didn’t make much sense what she was talking about. But still, it was very nice to see her talk about her passion.

We played Janken afterwards and two lucky winners (one of them my friend Sai) got a present from Hikaru and got to go up on stage. While I can’t say I care much for the mangas they received as present, I would have killed to get a chance to go up on that stage. Oh well, turns out I suck at Janken. XD Somehow I completely forgot how to play it T_T

The Live

宝石-Houseki: WOW! Just wow! I didn’t know that this was the song Hikaru auditioned with. But hey, that explains why she was eventually chosen because man, she slayed! She sounded amazing! I think the song was slowed down a bit, yeah, it definitely was. Her performance was so powerful and tragic, she almost sounded like she was using elements from Keiko’s and Wakana’s voices. She had the same oomph as Keiko and yet there was a hint of tragedy (the same tragedy you usually get from Wakana). Flawless, absolutely flawless. Honestly, I am not even sure which version I like better, Hikaru’s or Keiko’s.

プラチナ-Platina: This is apparently one of her most frequently sung songs at karaoke. She absolutely loves it. It was an okay performance, I can’t say I like that song very much (it’s too cutesy for my taste) and I don’t think the song is particularly suited for Hikaru’s voice but Hikaru was super adorable and all smiles and she obviously had a blast with it so I was happy for her.

北ウイング-Kita Wing: Wow!! Just. Wow!! Hands down one of my favourite performances of that night. I had never heard that song before but Hikaru’s rendition was absolutely gorgeous. I just got to listen to the original version and OMG, they changed it SO MUCH. They slowed it down a lot and made it sound so much more tragic and sad. It left a lasting impression and I think I will have to buy it now. So beautiful.

CAT'S EYE: Sakurada wrote a special jazz arrangement for this song. I wish there was footage of this performance. Hikaru was so freaking sexy here. The way she moved to the lyrics, especially during that “sexy” line! Oh boy! Nosebleed!!! And it was a song I actually knew so YAY about that. If I remember correctly, I think it was actually one of the songs I voted for so double YAY.

ARIA: Finally, the song I had been waiting for. I obviously voted for this because it’s one of my all-time favourite Hikaru songs and I loved the 10th Anniversary version so freaking much (everyone else also voted for it so I kinda knew this would make it onto the setlist). This version was in a slightly higher pitch I think but not as high as the original version. She sang it with so much emotion, at this point I first started crying. Once again Hikaru mentioned that this song means the world to her and it has taught her so much. It’s always special if she gets to sing it and every version is different/unique. I was a bit sad because all the Wakana/Keiko/Kajiurago parts were left out. I had hoped she would sing that WaKei section after the bridge. It’s literally one of my favourite parts of the song because of the lyrics. But oh well, it was still a mind-blowing performance and Hikaru knocked it out of the park. She struggled a bit during the 10th Anniversary performance (especially during the final verse - although studio magic made sure it sounded well-rounded on the DVD/BD) but here she hit every note.

Blackbird: Hikaru mentioned that we would all recognise this song once we heard the chorus but meh, it seems I am the only one who has never heard of this song. Guess it’s because I have never really listened to the Beatles. Sorry to everyone who thinks that’s blasphemy or something. Either way, Hikaru made me really like this song although it will not become my favourite. Nothing about it was very memorable so I have a hard time remembering any details. I just know that Hikaru sounded really chill and cool. She obviously enjoys to sing this type of song.

Honesty: It’s honestly embarrassing how few songs I knew during this live. This was another one I had never heard before but boy, Hikaru made me fall in love with it immediately. I don’t know what it was about her performance but it was just so touching and emotional, it seemed like she meant every word she was singing. Everytime she sang “honesty” my heart broke a tiny little bit. The feels! Oh, the feels!!

Just the Way You Are: Can’t say I ever cared much for this song but once again Hikaru brought something special to it that made me appreciate how lovely this piece actually is. It really felt like she was singing from the heart. On that note, I would like to mention that her English pronunciation was really good during all the English songs. You most definitely understood what she was singing and she tried her best to emphasise each and every word. Very impressive. That’s certainly not a given with Japanese artists. Although I guess we all know that Hikaru’s English is very good. After this song, Hikaru told the Japanese audience that even though they probably didn’t understand the English lyrics, she hoped she was able to convey the meaning through her singing (she was!!). She invited everyone to check out all the lyrics because they are all super beautiful.

魂のルフラン- Tamashi No Rufuran: I was one of the people who voted for Zankokuna Tenshi no These so when she started to talk about Evangelion I freaked out a little. Unfortunately she ended up singing this song instead. I haven’t really watched the series so I only ever knew the OP and nothing else. Can’t say this song left a lasting impression. I don’t remember much from it. T_T Sorry, Hikaru. And sorry to everyone who had expected a more throrough report. I think she struggled a bit during the high parts here but it wasn’t too bad.

History Maker: I am embarrassed to say that I once again didn’t recognise the song. It sounded familiar but I couldn’t for the life of me remember where it was from. I was confused because I thought it was a Western song but Hikaru had mentioned she would sing anime songs now. I was like, “ehh???” Only afterwards when Hikaru mentioned it was from Yuri on Ice I suddenly remembered. [I am definitely the most clueless person when it comes to anime] This was most certainly the most upbeat and fun song of the night. Everyone was hyped and Hikaru was running around the stage, trying to connect with as many people in the audience as possible. And it worked. So much power, so much strength. Simply amazing. She really managed to capture the spirit of the song. Can’t say I watched the anime but I know it’s about sports and figthing spirit and boy, after this performance I was SO READY to climb Mount Fuji XD (which is good since I actually did climb Mt. Fuji the day after). Once she was finished Hikaru told us that actually no one had voted for her to sing this song but since it’s one of her faves she thought it would be okay to include it, this was “Hikaru’s vote” so to speak.

sprinter: Hands down my favourite performance of the night. The lights were dimmed and all you could hear was Hikaru’s voice which was already brimming over with emotion. The arrangement was super slow, she sang pretty much all the lines (including Wakana’s and Keiko’s). She didn’t sing the Kajiurago parts though. When she got to the “kimi ni aitai…” part, the hall became completely dark and there was just a tiny light illuminating Hikaru. Her voice was raw and fragile and very quiet. She wasn’t even singing them properly, it was more like she was saying them to us. It’s hard to explain but it was utterly heartbreaking. Tears everywhere. She only sang that part once and I think that’s for the best because this way it was incredibly powerful. And even though you could barely see her face you could definitely hear her voice break. She ended the song with Wakana’s line, “I'm calling your name”. By the end of the performance everyone was in tears and you could see Hikaru wiping away a tear too.

That was the end of the live, Hikaru took a bow and thanked everyone. When she told the audience to give a big round of applause to Sakurada he started playing the first tunes of “Happy Birthday”. It was a bit awkward at first because Japanese audiences never know what to do in situations like that. But they caught on surprisingly fast and so everyone was singing for Hikaru. That’s when Hikaru pretty much broke down into tears and watching this made me cry even more. She desperately tried to compose herself afterwards but nope, she couldn’t. Whenever she started to speak, a new wave of emotions seemed to hit her. She had to use a towel to wipe her tears away. She said that she didn’t expect Sakurada to play the birthday song for her (although I think that’s not true because he apparently played it during the afternoon event too but I forgive her for that little lie XD). Oh well, whether she was surprised or not she seemed to be moved either way and that is the only thing that counts. She thanked us for coming, thanked us for making this night incredibly special for her and finally assured us that she would forever remember this evening and treasure it within her heart…during the whole time tears were streaming down her face. She hopes that the next time we all meet there will be less tears and more laughter. She apologised for crying so much (oh please, Hi-chan, never apologise for that!!!!) Then she left the stage and the audience was asked to remain seated until told otherwise. The individual rows were asked to wait in line and leave the hall one by one.

That’s when we all got our personal greeting and postcard from Hikaru. She was standing outside wearing the white shirt from the merchandise and she handed each and every person a handwritten note and thanked them once again for coming. The staff people were rushing everyone out but fans were able to talk to Hikaru for a milli-second. When it was my turn I was shaking and I started crying again. Hikaru smiled at me and gave me one of her English cards (like seriously, she even prepared English cards for her foreign fans! So thoughtful of her!). I told her that I was incredibly moved by her performance (as if my crying wasn’t indication enough) and it looked like Hikaru was about to start crying too but then I was ushered outside so I can’t know for sure. I was shaking so much and then and it took a few minuted to compose myself.

All in all it was a super special event and I am so glad I got the chance to attend it. Hikaru is a born solo performer and she owned the stage throughout the entire event. She made me fall in love with her even more. You could really tell how much she cared about her fans. Right now I am very grateful that she is there for us and wants to be close to us. This event and all her blog posts make me so very happy, you have no idea. My only regret is that Hikaru didn’t mention Wakana and Keiko during the evening event. Why did she only talk about them during the afternoon event? So unfair! But oh well, it’s not like I missed much. She basically just told the audience that they are keeping in touch and that she had received birthday geetings from both of them (duh! Of course she did! Did anyone doubt it?) and that Wakana regularly sends pictures of her plant babies. They are all doing their own thing now so I understand and respect their choice (yes, I think it’s their choice and they are not forced by Space Craft) to lay low and not mention the others too much. However, it’s still nice when they do.

Okay, that’s a wrap. Hope you enjoyed this and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask

#kalafina #report #hikaru #hikaru birthday event #long text post #sorry #I don’t know how to add a read more thingy on my phone

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mxndwitch · 6 years

Text

@spookypcter gets a plotted starter

they had been in their own world for a very long time, or at least so it seemed. trapped without day or night, it all melted into an eternity without beginning or end, only bearable because she hadn’t been alone. Peter had - very suddenly, and yet welcome - appeared in the pulsing red world they had inhabited. It had been a dreadful, endless collection of emotions for them, going from desperate, to sad, to helpless, to serene, to angry. Usually they had taken turns in lifting each other up, when the uncertainty of the situation had become unbearable. Were they trapped in here forever? Was this death? Or the inside of the soul stone? What had happened to the rest of their team, to humanity? So many questions without answers and the lingering dread of having died. Dying was something so final and knowing they had just stopped to exist, just like that, was hard to fathom. Wanda had imagined death to be different - she had hoped to see her brother again, be with people she loved until the end of time, in a paradise like world, and not in the place they were in now. It all had come with the bitter realization as well that they had lost. Humanity was doomed, because they had been unable to stop Thanos. Out there, their friends were probably still fighting and the idea of them dying one by one was hard to bear. And as suddenly as it had all began, it ended. One moment she had been talking to Peter about the Bermuda Triangle, the next he had started to dissolve, just like they had previously when they died, until he was nothing more than dust and gone. Wanda had never been as terrified as she was in that moment, because with him gone, she was alone. Entirely alone in a place that was empty, cold and endless. She had waited, for him to return, for something major to happen, but no one else came to be with her and Peter did not return. Just when she had been about to lose her mind in the solitary confinement she was in, a familiar feeling of lightheadedness and serenity had gripped her tight and whilst she allowed her eyes to fall shut, exhaling in relief, because she believed this to be the end of everything, the world around her grew suddenly louder, brighter and her body hit something hard. It took Wanda a long moment to understand what had happened and where she was. Flood lights seemed to illuminate the street around her, the distant noise of a helicopter drawing closer. Rain poured down on her and the biting cold of winter immediately started seeping into her skin. She had never been happier to feel SOMETHING. Her body felt weak and it took her a few moments to stagger to her feet, hands shaking and knees threatening to buckle. Her clothes were the same she had worn in Wakanda, but this was most definitely the Avengers compound. The lights in front of it were on, but the inside seemed deserted. Still - the world was still standing, so there was probably hope. She made her way inside as quickly as she could, but found no one there. For a moment she feared that this was just another hell now - another in-between that looked like the real world, but wasn’t. Grabbing the first phone she came across, Wanda’s nimble digits dialed a number she knew by heart, because she had called him so many times before in the two years on the run. He had vanished before her - long before even, or so it had seemed - so she prayed he would answer. Please be alive, please be alive. Silent prayers rose to the sky, while she desperately waited for the familiar ‘click’ on the other end of the line and his voice to fill her ears. When he finally answered, a chocked sob left her lips and she slapped her hand before her lips. He was HERE. “Peter? It’s me, Wanda. You’re alive.” She couldn’t help but sob, both incredibly relieved to know he was back where he belonged, yet also partially overwhelmed by being back.

#post IW

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kiras-sunshine · 7 years

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The truth can’t hurt us now

Summary: "Fortunately, he is the master of hiding his true feelings somewhere deep, which makes him the reigning champion of pretending that he is not in love with Simon Lewis."

Simon asks Jace to be his fake boyfriend for a family dinner. Jace suffers.

also on ao3 (http://archiveofourown.org/works/12049494)

Author’s note: This is a birthday present for always amazing and awesome Jacky <3 Also, the title is from a song called ‘words’ by Christina Perri

It is a sunny autumn afternoon, the air is brisk and the colours of leafs are vibrant, and Jace strolls a narrow alley with Simon.

He cannot remember the last time he would have felt this content or peaceful.

There is something unexplainable about Simon and the way he always brings the best out of Jace. He changes his pace in the best possible way and manages to make him happy. It is the only way Jace can describe it.

Earlier, Simon had called him and asked if he had ever been to some hole-in-a-wall art gallery in Brooklyn, and obviously, Jace was not one of those people who were even aware of the place’s existence.

As soon as he told this to Simon, he had announced that he needed to cancel all of his plans because that was their destination during the afternoon.

If anyone else had suggested spending an entire afternoon in a stuffy basement looking at confusing contemporary art, he might have declined, but because it was Simon’s idea, he agreed.

The biggest reason why he agreed was that he loves spending time with Simon. He makes any place bearable and sometimes Jace finds himself being interested in the things Simon tells him just because he manages to make them seem interesting and exciting.

Besides, it is exactly the type of thing they do together. Ever since Simon found out he had never been to the museum of natural history, he has been dragging him around New York, showing him his favourite places whenever Jace has time.

He has taken him to countless restaurants and bookshops, a bunch of museums and musicals, and various art galleries and parks.

Jace cherishes all of their visits. Simon is always excited and keen to show every single place he can come up with and he tells stories about the places and explains their significance to him. His enthusiasm is almost contagious.

Jace really loves hearing Simon’s stories because they are so him, and sometimes Jace lies about not being somewhere before just because he wants to rediscover the place with Simon.

Simon chooses the kind of places Jace might like too, and he really manages to make any place feel special. Hell, he makes Jace feel special too, and he is eternally grateful that Simon deemed him to be worth of showing all these places to and share his memories with him.

Being friends with Simon is one of the best things that has ever happened to him. All would be perfect if he was not undeniably in love with Simon.

He does not know or remember when he fell in love with him. He only knows when he realised it. It had been an early morning after a long night of patrolling and he had stopped by Simon’s boathouse merely because he did not want to go back to the institute instantly. He had accidently crashed Simon’s guitar practice and instead of kicking Jace out, he had played for him.

It was the first time the thought of ‘I love you’ crossed Jace’s mind with such conviction and clarity that Jace instantly knew there was no going back.

It has been three months since that morning, and Jace has not told about his sudden realisation to another living soul. He suspects Alec might know through their bond, but he has not said anything because he probably also senses that the last thing Jace wants to talk about is his unrequited love for Simon.

He knows it is unrequited, even though he has not said anything about it. He knows it because Simon is Simon, and he can do better than him, and he cannot imagine what Simon would see in him.

He remains quiet because he cannot risk losing him as a friend. He does not want to ruin the thing they have because they are getting along so well and his feelings are not worth of risking their entire friendship.

Fortunately, he is the master of hiding his true feelings somewhere deep, which makes him the reigning champion of pretending that he is not in love with Simon Lewis.

He would be lying if he said that the pretending is not painful. It tears him apart at the times. Pining after him is like having a paper cut on his finger. Sometimes, the pain it causes is easy to forget, but at the times, it hurts more than it should.

However, he knows that he will eventually get over him, even though he is not actively trying to get over him.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Simon’s voice startles him from his thoughts and he flashes his brightest grin. “Of course.”

“What was I talking about?” Simon asks as he glances at him doubtfully, but Jace can see he is fighting against a smile.

“Something about a trash can and breaking your arm,” Jace answers immediately, even though he might have not focused all of his attention to listening to his anecdote.

“That’s all you got from my story?” Simon accuses but he breaks into a tiny grin as he shakes his head. “It’s your loss. It was a master piece of storytelling,” he deadpans.

“It was literally a story about you breaking your arm when you were eight years old,” Jace remarks and huffs out of amusement.

“In other words, it was an exhilarating thriller,” Simon concludes with a short burst of laughter. “Luckily for you, I didn’t invite you along because of your superior listening skills.”

“Why did you ask me then?” Jace asks with genuine curiosity.

He thinks Clary would be a better choice when it comes to visiting art galleries. She has a whole another level of appreciation for art than Jace does, but he is still glad Simon chose him.

“It wasn’t because of your pretty face either,” Simon tells with a mischievous grin, and Jace knows it is intended as a joke but it does unfair things to his heart.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, have you considered the possibility that some of us are immune to your charms?” Simon asks with another wave of laughter.

“It’s a possibility,” Jace answers with a nonchalant shrug. He hates how weak his voice suddenly sounds, but fortunately, Simon does not seem to notice.

Simon’s whole demeanour shifts quickly. He pushes his hands into the pockets of his jeans and stares at the dirty pavement as if it had the answers to all unanswered questions in the universe. He attempts to kick an empty coffee cup but his foot misses it.

He sighs deeply and quickly looks at him with a grin, but his nervousness shines through it.

“We are friends, right?”

He speaks quickly, and at first Jace is uncertain if he heard him right. The unexpected question throws him off a little and he remains baffled and quiet as he tries to think what prompted Simon to ask it, and then he realises he needs to answer something.

“I spent three hours in a basement that called itself an art gallery listening to you rant about paintings that only had triangles on them, and I actually enjoyed it,” Jace tells truthfully. “I guess that alone answers your question.”

Simon rolls his eyes fondly and tiny, but genuinely happy, smile forms on his lips, and Jace could not be happier.

He still seems anxious and he twists the sleeve of his jacket, and it seems as if he is building up the nerve to ask something else.

“So, we’re friends, and you have rescued me from actual death and from few kidnappings and we’ve been through some other stuff, too. So because we’re friends, in a hypothetical situation where I’d need help, you would help me because that’s what friends do, right-“

“Simon,” Jace says gently, interrupting his nervous ramble. “What do you need?”

He would rob the moon from the sky if he asked for it, but he leaves that unsaid.

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” he says it quietly and tentatively. He ends up grimacing after saying it and Jace thinks it is due to the sheer horror on his own face.

Simon drops his gaze back to the pavement and breathes deeply. Somehow, Jace’s first thought after the initial shock and doubt is that this is not easy for either one of them.

“What?”

He is proud of himself for not stuttering it and while it is not the most intelligent thing to say, at least it makes sense.

He cannot help but stare at Simon perplexedly as his heart pounds in his chest. He wants to be certain he heard him wrong.

Simon stops walking and looks at him properly and with such intensity, that Jace cannot look away even if he wanted to.

“You need to be my fake boyfriend,” he repeats with more conviction without grimacing as if any of it even remotely resembles a good idea.

There are many things Jace wishes he does not hear ever in his life and while those words have not been on that list before today, they definitely belong to there now.

He has been aware for some time that Simon has the ability to make him feel a variety of things he does not understand or want to feel, but the emotional turmoil his request causes is on new levels.

On the other hand, it almost sounds like everything he has wanted for the past three months and a part of him desperately wants to agree, because he knows he does not have a real chance with him, but he knows perfectly well that his heart is going to break if he does say yes.

“I almost don’t even want to ask what you have done to get yourself into a situation where that’s required,” Jace replies wryly as he is unable to give any proper answer.

Simon mock punches him in the arm. “Why your first assumption is that this is somehow my fault?”

“Because I know you,” Jace replies with a half-grin, which earns him a fond but annoyed eye rolling from Simon.

“Then choose the option where you don’t ask,” he tells matter-of-factly.

“What did you do?” Jace asks amusedly as he crosses his arms, and even though he frantically tries to come up with ways to refuse, he is still genuinely curious.

Simon groans and buries his face into his hand for a moment. “Technically, it isn’t my fault. It’s only like a little bit my fault but I cannot be fully blamed for this mess. Do you remember the plan I had for telling my mom that I’m a vampire?”

Jace merely nods as a response.

“Yeah, it didn’t go like I planned,” Simon confirms, looking downright miserable. “It’s pretty difficult to tell someone you’re a vampire when they aren’t even aware about the existence of shadow world, so I might have trusted a little too much on the power of allegories. My mom misunderstood the whole thing and thought I was coming out and I panicked and I came out instead.”

“How did she take that?” Jace asks as soon as Simon stops his rapid ramble.

“Really well, actually,” Simon tells with a chuckle. “She was almost overenthusiastically supportive. I’m afraid she will get a pride flag to our yard’s flagpole,” he says with a mixture of mild horror and amusement.

“Congrats, buddy,” Jace replies sincerely.

Simon has had enough bad things happening in his life recently, and Jace is genuinely happy that he does not have to deal with unaccepting and bad parenting on the top of that.

“Yeah, it was nice,” he replies distraughtly, “but the problem is that she thought I was coming out because I wanted her to meet my significant other, so she invited me and my significant other to a dinner on Friday and I couldn’t say no because I’ve broke her heart already so many times by missing the dinner.”

“So you lied,” Jace concludes.

Simon glares at him and then ruffles his own hair with an agonized expression. “Yeah I did, and I know it’s wrong but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I kinda get why you did it,” Jace replies and he is almost a little surprised by the honesty in his own voice.

He still looks cheerless, but he nods and remains silent. They stare at each other without saying a word, and Jace is thankful for it because his thoughts are racing and spiralling.

“I know it’s a big favour to ask, but you’re the only one I can even imagine asking, and you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to or feel uncomfortable. I don’t wanna force you into doing anything,” Simon continues in his rambling mode, and suddenly Jace realises there is only one outcome for this conversation.

“First of all, I wanna say this is a bad idea. Like a catastrophically terrible idea. One of the worst we have ever had,” Jace starts. He feels it in his bones, his every instinct is telling him this will not end well.

He could easily list all the things that can go wrong, and he knows that he is putting his own heart on the line.

Simon’s face falls as he speaks, and Jace swears he likes to make his own life more difficult than necessary, but then again, he has never liked the easy choices.

“But when would I have ever said no to a bad idea?” Jace says with a smirk, even though a part of him is screaming not to do it, but he decides to ignore it.

Simon stares at him wordlessly for a moment. His eyes are wide as plates and he looks baffled as if he had not expected him to agree.

“Seriously? You’re gonna do it?” He eventually manages to say with a faint smile.

Jace does not want to explain why he agrees. He is not completely sure, either. He just knows he cannot just stand by and watch Simon be upset and in distress when he could help him.

He is far more important than his own feelings.

“Against my better judgement, yes.”

***

Few days later, Jace has not regretted his decision. That is until he receives text messages from Simon.

[Simon 2.06 pm]

Come to Hunter’s moon unless you’re stopping an apocalypse or something like that. Then deal with that first and then come.

[Simon 2.07 pm]

Although, I doubt the end of the world would happen on a Wednesday afternoon.

[Jace 2.08 pm]

Is there a socially acceptable time for the end of the world??

[Simon 2.08 pm]

Monday seems more suitable. Definitely Monday.

[Jace 2.09 pm]

In the weirdest way, that makes sense.

I’m on my way.

***

Jace finds Simon in one of the corner booths of relatively uncrowded Hunter’s moon. He has spread a pile of papers to the table. He keeps writing something on the corner of one of the papers.

“Here I am,” he says as a greeting as he slides next to him in the booth.

He looks up from the paper, and grins so brightly that Jace is sure he lights up the dimly lit bar. He never thought someone could be so happy just to see him.

“Is this an emergency call or did you just get an urge to look at my beautiful face?” Jace jokes as he turns his head to read one of the papers in front of him. It has approximately twenty questions about favourite colours and the profound meaning of them. He decides it might be better not to ask.

“I certainly didn’t invite you here to stroke your already enormous ego,” Simon says without looking up from the paper, and then he starts going through the papers, obviously trying to find something.

He pulls a sheet of paper between other papers, and he looks almost grave as he hands the paper to Jace. “We have to prepare for Friday,” he says it seriously as if it would be an official mission briefing. “We have to agree on all the small details.”

Jace chuckles as he reads the questions. There are at least fifty meticulous questions and the topics range from favourite foods to deepest fears.

“This is ridiculous,” Jace exclaims and gestures towards the list. “Is it a cross examination or a dinner with your mom?”

“Those things can be horrifyingly similar,” Simon deadpans, “she can literally smell lies.”

Jace is almost tempted to ask why they are even trying it in the first place if they are doomed to fail, but there is something complex about Simon’s expression that tells him this is not the best time to make unnecessary jokes.

“Fine, let’s do this,” Jace agrees with a huff.

“I guess it’s easiest to stay as close to the truth as possible,” Simon says and taps his fingers against the table. “We just leave all the shadow world stuff out of it.”

Jace resists the urge to roll his eyes because that is easier said than done. Everything significant and defining about their relationship somehow relates to the shadow world.

“So we met through Clary,” Jace decides.

“Yes, we’ll skip the part where I thought you were her drug dealer and that we met on some graveyard,” Simon says and his mouth is curling up into a fond smile.

“You’re awfully determined to take all the romance out of it,” Jace deadpans as he pulls his stele out of his jacket’s pocket and starts to fidget with it.

“The beginning of a great love story,” Simon agrees with a laugh, and Jace tries to ignore the stinging and burning feeling in his chest. “It took us some time to become friends but then at some point we fell for each other as if it was the easiest thing we have ever done,” Simon continues casually as he writes it down, and Jace guesses they are truly sticking close to the truth.

“Do you want to explain these questions now?” Jace asks, directing the conversation into another direction, as he waves the piece of paper.

“It’s a list of all the little things we should know about each other because she might ask it,” Simon explains as if it would be the most obvious reason.

“You really think your mom is gonna ask me how long you can hold your breath for or which Hogwarts house you would belong to?” Jace asks with suspicion.

“She might,” he offers hopelessly, “besides if you don’t know my Hogwarts house my mom will never believe you’re my boyfriend.”

“That’s a surprisingly valid point,” Jace agrees. “Where did you get these questions?”

Simon sighs deeply and looks sullen. He points at Jace with his finger. “You have no idea how many women’s magazine articles I have read about basic stuff you should know about your significant other to complete this list of questions, so I appreciate my effort and read it.”

Jace hums as a response as he starts properly reading the questions and five minutes later, he looks up from the paper at Simon, who is now fidgeting with his stele.

“I know this stuff about you already,” he says as he could not find one question that would have been difficult to answer.

For some reason, he knows which childhood memories Simon always brings up, he knows what his pet peeves and allergies are and he even knows what are his favourite song lyrics and why.

“Uh, me too,” Simon admits almost sheepishly and puts Jace’s stele down to the table.

“So we can do this,” Jace says, trying to distract his own mind from the implications of knowing all these little details about each other.

“Yeah,” Simon agrees, but he sounds as if he is trying to convince himself instead, “it cannot be that hard to pretend we’re in love.”

For once, Jace agrees completely.

***

On Friday, Jace is even more convinced the whole thing will be a disaster.

He wants to run away to Canada, change his name and hide in the wilderness for the rest of his life. He knows it is the sensible solution to this mess, yet he finds himself on the steps of Lewis’ house, holding a bouquet of daisies.

He knows he should not do it because it is an atrocious plan, but he rings the doorbell anyway.

He is more nervous than while facing a greater demon, and he knows he is more anxious than he logically should be. He is grateful when Simon opens the door.

He smiles, and it is the kind of smile that gives Jace’s heart trouble to function properly.

He seems blithe and he is visibly more relaxed than during their last meeting in Hunter’s moon, and he looks great.

He is wearing similar clothes as always, a band t-shirt and a pair of jeans, and Jace always thinks he looks great, but there is still something different about him today.

“I almost doubted if you were coming at all. Rebecca already started doubting if I made you up,” Simon tells him with a brilliant smile as he leans on the doorframe.

“You don’t trust me, this relationship is doomed,” Jace deadpans, as he pretends to be hurt by Simon’s accusation, but his face breaks into a joyous grin as well.

“But look I was wrong, you’re here, you look great and you even brought flowers,” Simon says as he steps away from the doorframe to allow Jace to come in.

“Yeah, you once mentioned your mom likes them,” Jace mumbles as he steps in and he tries his best not to blush.

***

The dinner is a little awkward at first. Elaine adores the flowers and thanks him at least ten times and keeps asking about his ‘tattoos’ and wonders out loud how rare name Jace has.

The food is amazing, and Jace loves to see how much Elaine and Rebecca love Simon, and how much he loves them back. The atmosphere is nice and loving, and he feels welcomed and there are no awkward silences, but the conversation flows on.

Rebecca is definitely on a mission to embarrass Simon by telling stories about their childhood. She has already told about the time Simon got his leg stuck into a sewer, how he kept eating sand as a toddler and which words he pronounced wrong when he was young.

Simon holds his hand in his hand under the table for the entirety of dinner. Jace is not sure whether it is because he wants to offer him moral support or if he believes that his mother has a x-ray vision.

It is nice though, and Jace is not complaining. It is comforting and his hand is surprisingly warm and it sounds like an enormous cliché, but Jace is convinced their hands fit together.

The questions about them start during the dessert.

“So how did you meet?” Elaine asks as she hands plates full of chocolate cake to everyone.

“Clary introduced us,” Jace replies without missing a beat.

“Oh,” she sounds genuinely surprised. “How do you know Clary?”

Jace tries his best to come up with an explanation that would describe his and Clary’s relationship without making it sound too weird, but honestly, it is an impossible mission.

“She’s a family friend,” Jace eventually says and smiles politely, and Simon makes a chocking noise as if he would try to suppress a laugh. Jace glares at him and kicks his shin.

“That’s nice,” Elaine comments.

“How long you have been together?” Rebecca asks and there is certain doubtfulness in the way she looks at them, and Jace is starting to realise what Simon meant by his family and cross-examination being similar.

It is the one detail they had not thought about, but Jace tries to follow the truth as closely as he can with their entirely fake and pretended relationship.

“Three months,” he answers with a beatific smile, “best three months of my life.”

Simon looks at him strangely but then nods with a glowing smile. “Mine too.”

Rebecca stares at Simon, and she looks quizzical. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”

Simon opens his mouth, but Jace is faster at improvising the answers. “That might be my fault, I’m afraid. I wanted to keep low profile with our relationship, because I really wanted to make this work without other people’s expectations.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Simon agrees, even though Jace knows he is looking at him strangely again.

“That sounds wise,” Elaine says with a warm smile, “and you do look happy now.”

“We are,” Simon answers and looks at him as if he would be the eighth wonder of the world and kisses the back of his hand, and Jace’s heart flutters.

“Where did you go as your first date?” Elaine asks, sounding genuinely curious, as she continues to eat the cake.

Jace’s mind blanks and he keeps eating his cake, letting Simon to deal with the question.

“Natural history museum,” Simon replies immediately, and Jace cannot help but smile delightedly. “It sounds kinda lame, but it was the first place we visited as friends, and it had significance to us.”

“It wasn’t lame,” Jace blurts out, but he means it whole heartedly. Any of the afternoons he has spent with Simon are nowhere near lame.

“It sounds rather cute, actually,” Rebecca remarks as she finishes her cake.

“So when did you two realise you were more than friends?” Elaine asks as she starts to gather the dishes away.

Jace feels Simon tense up next to him, but he almost immediately relaxes again. “I realised it when Jace almost chocked on a tangerine.”

Jace’s heart skips a beat or few, and he stares at Simon, perplexedly. The tangerine incident did happen few months ago, while Jace was at the boathouse and for unbeknownst reason to him he almost met his death by a fruit. As soon as the immediate danger was over, Simon had laughed so hard he cried.

Jace convinces himself Simon is just following his ‘stay-close-to-the-truth’ principle with his example but there is a part of him that wants to believe that Simon truly meant it. Yet, he knows that Simon is not actually in love with him.

“You truly are a romantic,” Rebecca says with a burst of laugh and Elaine chuckles as well.

“I realised when I crashed his place one morning after a night shift, and he was practicing some song, and instead of kicking me out, he played it for me,” Jace tells softly, and it feels good to tell the truth.

He could name a thousand other instances, too, but he decides he likes this one the best.

He feels the weight of Simon’s gaze on him and he knows that Simon remembers that one particular morning, too. He hopes he thinks he is lying for the sake of pretending, but secretly he hopes Simon could see through him and realise he is telling the truth.

***

Rest of the dinner goes well, and Jace thinks they are quite convincing at being a couple. Simon has perfected the way he looks at him as if it would be the centre of the universe, and for a one blissful moment, Jace forgets that they are pretending.

Elaine brings out the childhood photo album, Simon looks so agonized and Jace fears Simon might die again out of pure embarrassment.

Both, Elaine and Rebecca, tell on several occasions how adorable they are together. Apparently, they are visibly in love. Every time, Jace feels as if someone had stabbed him with his own seraph blade.

He ends up spending three hours at their house before he gets a text message from Alec asking him to come back to the Institute because of a mission.

Simon insists walking with him along their driveway, but before he leaves, Elaine hugs him and tells how happy she is that Simon has found someone like him. Jace numbly replies he is the lucky one.

As soon as Simon closes the door behind them, he starts his ramble. “I’m so sorry about the photo album and the totally inappropriate comments they made about your hotness,” he says with a groan and looks as if he is truly suffering.

“Great taste apparently runs in the family,” Jace jokes with a shit-eating grin as he jogs down the few stairs.

Simon groans again in anguish, but he follows him.

“Your mom and sister are spying us from the window,” Jace whispers as he takes Simon’s hand into his own again.

He can clearly see the silhouettes of Elaine and Rebecca in the window, trying to peer from between of the curtains, and apparently, Simon spots them as well.

“They are the worst,” Simon mutters under his breath.

He is aware they have hold hands for the better half of three hours, but he already missed the sensation of Simon’s hand against his.

The driveway is short and they reach the gate way sooner than Jace would like. They stop at the gate, but for his surprise, Simon does not let go of his hand.

“Seriously, thank you for doing this,” Simon tells softly, squeezing his hand.

His smile is almost beatific and radiant, it creates crinkles around his eyes, and his whole face lights up, and Jace is so in love that it hurts him.

If Jace did not know any better, he would say Simon’s smile resembles enamoured, but he does know better.

“It wasn’t exactly awful,” Jace replies with a shrug, and he is telling the truth. Not pretending to hide his true feelings, even for a one night, had been better than he could have ever imagined.

He feels almost crestfallen to go back to the pretending and constant lying to himself and others.

“I’m glad you think so,” Simon tells him so quietly it is almost a whisper in the cold night. He cautiously steps closer to him and with anyone else, Jace would consider it as a serious violation of personal space, but with Simon, he does not mind.

They are both grinning widely and there is warmth in Simon’s brown eyes, the time seems to stop under the bright stars, and the nearby lamppost illuminates everything in a light that seems golden.

The whole moment seems serene and unreal and they just keep staring at each other in a silence that seems deafening. Simon’s gaze keeps darting to his lips and lingers there, and Jace has difficult time to convince himself he is only imagining it.

He does not know what takes over him, but he kisses Simon. He lets go of his hand and cups his face with his hands, and crashes their lips together.

For a moment, the only thought he has is Simon. Every single of his senses are full of him and only him, and all he can feel is the warmth of his lips on his own. Suddenly, the night is no longer a cold one as Jace is certain every single cell of his body is on fire.

It is an incredibly tender and sweet kiss, Simon slowly kisses him back, and it feels as if it lasts forever, and everything seems perfect until Jace’s brain catches up with his own actions.

He is kissing Simon, and suddenly his brain goes into a full panic mode, because kissing Simon is the last thing he should do. It is the one thing he should never do.

He hastily pulls away, breaking the kiss. Both of them are breathing heavily the cold air and Jace stares at him with a stunned and alarmed expression and wonders if he has the right to feel shocked and confused when he is the one who initiated it.

Simon’s expression is unreadable, and Jace is sure his brain has followed the plan to escape to the wilderness of Canada because every time he opens his mouth, no words come out.

“I-I- need to go,” he finally manages to breath out, and he runs away.

Simon does not follow him.

***

It is Sunday, and Jace has 53 missed calls and 46 unread text messages from Simon.

He knows avoiding him in unhealthy and unfair, because none of this is Simon’s fault. He did nothing wrong. It is Jace who messed everything up in the worst way possible.

He has wallowed in self-pity and misery for almost two days and he knows he should get a grip and just face him, but he is not ready.

He is not strong enough to confront him or the inevitable rejection. He does not want to hear what he has to say because he wants to shield himself from the pain a little longer.

He does not even want to think the possibility that he might have ruined everything between them. Yet, he cannot stop thinking about it or the kiss and it causes him excruciating pain. It is an arduous task not to think about Simon.

The kiss is playing in a loop in his head, and Jace just wants it to stop.

Alec and Izzy march into his room on a Sunday afternoon and stage an intervention for him. They even have a small sheet that says ‘intervention’ in red and Jace asks where they got it, but Izzy refuses to tell. Instead, she just tells they are doing the intervention out of love and because they think that spending an entire weekend by cleaning the seraph blades in the weapon’s room is not healthy.

Alec keeps nodding beside of his sister and adds that he would like if Simon did not call to him again to ask if Alec can feel through their parabatai bond whether Jace has fallen into a ditch and died or not.

Izzy just repeats that he and Simon are both idiots and apparently, Clary agrees with her.

Jace knows he cannot avoid Simon for the rest of his life even if it does seem the most tempting option, so he accepts his defeat and picks up his phone.

His phone almost jams up when he tries to open his messages, but he manages to read the latest messages Simon has sent to him.

[Simon 1.37 am]

I have a gig tomorrow night in Hunter’s moon, come there if you want to talk

[Simon 2.04 am]

I really hope you come, even if you don’t want to talk

[Simon 4.55 am]

I miss you

The messages make him feel slightly better, because after all, Simon is his friend, and maybe it would require a little more than a kiss to make him hate and abandon him.

***

Jace rehearses an apology in his head as he walks into the Hunter’s moon in the middle of Simon’s gig and even though the bar is dimly lit, Simon instantly notices him.

He is on stage with his guitar and when he looks up, Jace is convinced he looks straight at him and the corner of his mouth twitches up, and he keeps playing.

That alone is enough reason for Jace to stay at the bar. He walks up to the bar counter and sits down at one of the stools and keeps glancing at Simon over his shoulder while brooding.

His singing sounds beautiful and the crowd seems to be mesmerized.

“What do you want?” Maia asks, as she dries couple of shot glasses with a towel.

“Something strong,” Jace says bleakly as he stares at the surface of the bar counter.

Maia rolls her eyes exasperatedly and gives him a beer. “You’re an idiot,” she says it almost gently, “he is also an idiot,” she continues gesturing towards Simon. “You’re both idiots and sometimes I don’t know which one of you is a bigger idiot, but it’s probably you.”

“You sure know how to give a pep talk,” Jace tells her wryly and takes a long sip from his beer.

“It’s one of my various talents,” Maia answers matter-of-factly.

The crowd starts applauding loudly as Simon finishes his last song, and Maia claps as well, even though he is looking at Jace firmly.

“Just don’t break his heart, Herondale,” Maia advices him over the loud clapping, and Jace offers her a weak smile.

Simon almost trips down on his own feet as he rushes down from the stage and grabs Jace by the arm.

“Maia, we’re gonna steal your back alley for a moment,” Simon announces, and Maia nods at him. Jace has no time to protest before Simon drags him through the back door, and he only lets go of him when they are at the alley.

Jace stares at a filthy dumpster and takes a deep breath before he turns around and faces Simon. “I’m so sorry,” Jace starts immediately, unable to bottle it inside of him any longer, “I don’t know what I was thinking when I kissed you and I’m so sorry if this ruins-“

“Jace,” Simon interrupts him and he sounds a little exhausted and doleful. “There’s no need to apologize I wanted you to kiss me.”

Jace is sure the world stops for a second, and all he can hear is his heartbeat. “What?”

Simon sighs and rubs his own neck. “I wasn’t lying about the tangerine incident,” he eventually says, and his eyes dart around the small alley and he ends up staring at a milk cartoon that lies forgotten next to the dumpster.

It takes Jace an embarrassingly long time to realise what Simon implies, and when he does, he is speechless and overjoyed.

He thinks this must be a dream and this is not really happening, but he also knows he could not dream the disgusting smell of rotten tomatoes so vividly, and he figures this is reality.

“Oh,” Jace manages to breathe out, and Simon lets out a joyless laugh. “You mean-?” Jace tries to ask, but he is unable to say the word love. It feels as if it would burn his throat.

“Helplessly,” Simon answers, dodging the word as well and he sounds despondent. “I do understand if you don’t want anything more. Nothing has to change between us,” he rambles on, but his voice slightly breaks and he cannot hide the sorrow from his voice.

“What?” Jace repeats again, overwhelmed and confused by Simon’s words. He had braced himself for the rejection, but Simon makes it sound as if Jace is the one rejecting him.

“I don’t know,” Simon shrugs, “you looked like kissing me was the biggest mistake of your life and then you ran away and didn’t talk to me for almost two days.” He looks chagrined and it breaks his heart a little.

He still refuses to look at Jace, and his voice is quiet, and Jace realises Simon really expects him to reject him.

Jace steps closer to him, but the space between them still feels huge. “Only because I thought I had ruined everything between us,” he explains softly, “and I wasn’t lying during that dinner, either. I meant what I said about that morning.”

He feels light and numb, and even slightly dizzy to finally to admit it, but the ecstatic smile that spreads across Simon’s face makes it all worth it.

“You remember that song I played for you that morning?” Simon asks almost timidly, and seemingly unable to stop smiling, “I wrote that about you.”

“Really?” Jace asks, flabbergasted, and he cannot hide his awe.

Simon slowly nods and reaches to hold his hand. He intertwines their fingers gently, and he glances at their hands, but Jace cannot tear his eyes away from Simon.

Jace hums. “I guess it’s only appropriate I realised I love you while you played it,” he almost blurts it out, but he does not regret saying it, it is almost effortless to admit it now.

Simon’s smile widens, the lights from the neon signs around them illuminate his face, and Jace thinks he is the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

They are painstakingly close, and it feels as if the air is buzzing. Jace is convinced his heart might burst out of delirious happiness at any given moment.

Jace pulls Simon closer by the collar of his jacket and kisses him again eagerly, and Simon ends up pushing him against the brick wall.

Their second kiss is different from their first one. It is more enthusiastic, but it is still gentle and full of affection. Jace strokes Simon’s back with his hand, and Simon has both of his hands in Jace’s hair. It is dazzling and Jace makes a small but happy sound in the back of his throat, and Simon pulls away and grins.

“I think this alley might be my favourite of all the places we have visited together,” Jace jokes as he tries to catch his breath.

“I’ll try to find some more smelly alleys that are filled with garbage and waste for us to visit,” Simon chuckles and presses kisses to his jawline.

“I think it might have more to do with you than the recycling bins,” Jace admits with a smirk, and his gaze lingers in Simon’s eyes.

“Whoever said romance is dead was a liar,” Simon deadpans, but he is spectacularly failing with trying not to smile. He gently pushes a strand of Jace’s hair away from his face.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Jace tells while laughing blissfully, and Simon kisses him.

In retrospect, Jace thinks agreeing to be Simon’s fake date was the best thing he has ever done.

#jimon #jimon fic #jace herondale #simon lewis #fake dating #mutual pining #I had so much fun writing this fic #all the mistakes are mine #Nea writes stuff

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bligh-lynch · 4 years

Text

And It Came To Pass In Those Days

23d December 1995, Lynch Mountain, Tempest, West Virginia For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. _________ Carl Sagan, Contact

Throughout his life, Pappy was known by many names, but it was one Christmas Eve that he truly felt he earned the only one that really counted.

He began as Gustavus Simeon Lynch, but was very soon Gus. His birthname was too grandiose an appellation - it was given to him in gratitude by his father, Simeon, for Gustavus Olafsen, a Minnesotan of Swedish extraction who saved Simeon's life from the debacle onboard the USS San Diego during the Great War. But it proved too highfalutin for the boy who grew into a man.

That boy, Gus, was too often a cutup who disobeyed his Pa and had his hide tanned more times than he could count. He and his delinquent older cousin, Allen, would get drunk on badly-made shine out in the woods - they would play music together under the white oak on the other slope of the low mountain that belonged to their family, and Allen would tell him, hitting his fiddle with his bow gently to make a singular dulcet tone, Gus strumming his banjo to accompany, the old family legend that their ancestor, Patrick Lynch, had planted the great druid as but an acorn to mark his property when he came over from Ireland. Twice, Allen had kissed him passionately when they were both drunk - love, love, careless love - as Sodomites would, making him promise to never tell a soul, and though later in life Gus became concerned with both drink and sin, when he remembered those Summer afternoons underneath the mighty boughs of his family oak with his cousin, his first friend, his first love, all he could do was blush, and sigh, sad for bygone days. Years later, Gus heard that Allen, who married a girl he didn't love and fathered a child who grew up in the family as Cousin Bobby he didn't want, ended up going crazy and ripping out his own teeth, an eerie repeat of Gus' own father losing his teeth at a young age also. Hoping to be better than a backwoods moonshiner who did furtive and sinful things, the boy, Gus, became a man, with a new name to match: Private First Class Gus S. Lynch, Company E, 31st Infantry Regiment, 7th Infantry Division. He and his boyhood friend from Quinwood, Ralph Pomeroy, were shipped off during the Korean Conflict, where they stuck together because their fellows mocked their thick accents and yokel way - slights that he, Gus, never forgot or forgave. But, soon enough, there was that hopeless situation at a place that history would remember as Triangle Hill - Gus was one of the key witnesses to Ralph Pomeroy's dauntless actions that led his friend to be awarded, posthumously, the Medal of Honor. Then and there - seeing Ralph E. Pomeroy dedicate himself to something so completely larger than himself - Gus determined that he, too, would dedicate himself to something, and he fell on his knees, beseeching the sky above him, to say that he would devote his life to God. Soon, though he wouldn't care much for it, he became Corporal Gus S. Lynch, Silver Star Medal, but he scarcely remembered those October days in 1952 - his bright blue eyes, remarked on by his superior officers, always blurred by the tears as only men put through that awful fire can understand, blinded by dust and smoke...as though possessed, he dragged what injured he could, the same men who mocked him for being a hillbilly and who would pointedly ask if he was born in a coalmine or if he wore shoes but whom he swore to protect nonetheless, back to the medic tent, again and again and again, no man left behind. There were gruesome spectacles that would make any man doubt the sanity of the world, and still a lesser man repulsed by humans for the rest of his life, but Gus was swallowed in humility by his friend's actions and he wanted to somehow be brave himself - not for himself, but for the spirit he saw Ralph Pomeroy summon. And for these courageous actions - that he never, not once, felt courageous for - he had a Silver Star pinned to his breast by General van Fleet. When he returned home, honorably discharged back to West Virginia and back to the mountains, he wanted to make good on the promise he had made to the Almighty for saving him in Korea, and so he took the G.I. Bill money and crossed the border to Virginia to attend Bluefield College, where he read the Theology he would need to preach the Good Word and save souls for the Lord. In time he graduated, and he took still yet another name: Reverend Gus Lynch - he grew the thick, handsome chinstrap beard he would wear for the rest of his life, and, taking inspiration from the travelling preachers that comprised many of his proud ancestors, he rambled up and down the Appalachians in his big white Surburban, praising Jesus and baptizing the anointed, down to the river to pray, studying on that Good Old Way. Two fateful things happened as he journeyed from place to place, filling the spiritual needs of the wayward. The first was in Pennsylvania and not too long after New York, because they happened so close together. There, the people gave him names too, but this time they were bigoted slurs: redneck and hillbilly and inbred, they mocked his accent and his manners and his earnestness, so that Gus found himself rather like Jonah, wishing that these Yankees, like Nineveh, would perish rather than find salvation. He never forgot how those prejudiced Northerners treated him, treated him different, simply because of who he was and where he was born - he had met kind Negros, strong in the Lord and the love of their families, down in the Carolinas, and he knew they had it far worse than he did, but that made him all the more bitter, how man could treat his fellow man, regardless of how he spoke the English tongue, or even the color of his own skin. This led to the second event: one night at a revival in Summersville, having returned to West Virginia feeling he should go back to put down roots in Tempest - soured forever on the idea of rambling after his experiences up North - he met a beautiful little slip of a girl, dark-headed with soft grey eyes, who had a ready and sarcastic wit. Her name was Iris - Iris McComas, named for where her people had settled in that tiny coal town in McDowell County, many, many years ago. She was the prettiest thing in the room, with the purple-and-gold silk corsage she wore of her namesake, an iris...Gus' eyes followed her everywhere, finally, he got up the nerve, and he asked her to dance, and soon they got to talking. "Ye were in Korea?" asked she.

"I were," answered he. "Served with Ralph Pomeroy."

"Oh my, he was a hero."

"He was."

"If the army had more Pomeroys we'd've won that war."

Gus' expression turned serious. "We did have an army of Pomeroys - but y'only hear bout the famous ones."

"What a sad thing ta say - are ye a sad man, Mr. Lynch?"

"When the occasion calls fer it, my dear."

"My dear?" She gasped, pretending to be offended. "How forward!"

"Well then what would ya like me to call ye?" He gave that famous smirk, a crooked half-smile that many people knew him by. "My doe?" She burst out laughing. "Sly, too! My word, I can scarcely tell what kind o'man y'are - are y'always like this, Mr. Lynch? A man of God but a mystery ta women?"

"When the occasion calls fer it--" The smirk grew. "My dear." It was mid-December and the stars outside shone diamondiferous to join with the lavender half-moonlit snow - the congregation gathered together before they dispersed to sing one more hymn: Go! Tell it on the mountain! Our Jesus Christ is born! And as they stood together to sing, Iris put her hand in his. They took to courting, and soon were married, a fairytale, and they gave each other twenty-four of the happiest years of each others' life - they moved back together to Tempest where Gus became senior pastor of Living Hope Baptist Church. But it did not begin auspiciously. When Gus passed his thirty-fifth year, he was beset with toothaches that would not go away, wracked with pain that no medication or herbs would seem to salve. This went on for a week straight, until - one night - and to his horror, he found his eyeteeth, both of them, were being pushed out by something new in their place...when Iris came into their bedroom she flung her hands to her mouth as he turned to her so that she could see: for in his mouth were two, long, sharpened, canine fangs. Gus had always been aware of the morbid stories, the haints and the phantom creatures and the deep, shadowy weirdness that crawled all over Tempest, all over Adkins County - there were family legends for nearly each of the little clans that called this obscure corner of the Greenbrier Valley home, the Barnes and the Lightfoots and his own family, the Lynches...but he never thought that he would be privy, let alone part, of his own ghost story, his own monster-tale. Now he understood - now he understood the story about Cousin Allen, ripped out his own teeth and had taken to the drink too hard and died pitifully young...now he understood why his own father had a set of ivory chompers rather than what God gave him. Some malign ancestral curse had curdled in his blood and manifested itself as a hideous mutation of the mouth, something that made him look for all the world like a creature of the woods more than what he was - a man adapted for hunting and timber and subsistence living now reabsorbed by the forest he so loved to be a haint, a creature, bewitched and obscene to the world of men. At first Iris tried to help by filing his new additions down, blunting them so people would not notice - but horrible to relate, night after night, the things grew back, sharpened themselves to points as a form of growth. Several times they tried this, panicked husband and supportive wife - several times they were thwarted, right back to where they were. Desperate, and without recourse, they did, together, the only thing they thought left - even though he had not drank in years, Gus procured some fine whiskey from his friend, Ironside Lightfoot, guzzled it down until he was three sheets in the wind, and instructed his wife to take a wrench and do the unthinkable. When she was done, the teeth kept in a small box under his bed to remind him that this was not some kind of hideous vision sent to him from a Hellish delirium, near-feverish with pain and drink, and his mouth full of bloody cotton gauze, he looked on his wife with tears streaming forth from those uniquely blue eyes, begging her to forgive him for whatever sin he had done that had led him to be changed, however momentarily, into a monster. "Oh Iris - woman - what ye must think o'me - what kinda man I am--" "Gustavus Lynch," Iris answered without hesitation, "I know exactly what kinda man y'are." "N'what--" he was scared to finish the question. "What kinda man that be?" She said nothing - she just hugged him tight, and reached for his hand, taking it and squeezing it close to her own heart. They passed this crisis together as husband and wife, and with new teeth, dentures, procured from a dentist down in Roanoke, their life resumed its sunny way. Never did they talk about it, not once, even when Gus was troubled, year after year on the same day ever since, by quare visions of icy blue streams deep underground...when he would awake, dazed and vulnerable in the dead of night when nightmares seem realest, he would feel for his wife's hand, grasping her fingers into his own to feel grounded and unfraid once again. When they built their big house on Simeon Lynch's ancestral lands, on the day they knew their hard work was finished, she put her hand in his and squeezed it - when it became apparent she was with child, and told him the news, she took both of his hands and brought them to her belly... when she was in labor and he prayed over her, his heart full of joy and fear, she squeezed his hand again, as hard as she could - when the infant boy, who they named Gustavus after his father and so went through life as Junior, reached manhood and brought home a kind, mousey girl from Wetzel County to introduce as his fiancée, she squeezed his hand once more. They were blessed to have lived so full and fruitful, all those years together. But it all did not last. After, soon after, Iris contracted cancer of the breast, and she fell very ill very suddenly, she wasted away and was in great pain, such that there was nothing the doctors in Charleston could do. On her deathbed, she put her hand in Gus' one last time, and she said to him: "Oh, I finally know what kinda man y'are, Mr. Lynch." And with his eyes once again blurred with tears as they had been all those years ago in Korea, Gus answered: "N'what kinda man that be - Ms. McComas?" "Why - yer the man who loves me..." Then her hand slackened, it fell away - Gus' hand was empty, and she was gone. Gus knew he would never get over her and indeed he never did, and for years after would regard the day of her death - a clear, azure-skied day in October - as little short of cursed. Every year on her birthday, on the anniversary of their marriage, and to commemorate the day she died, he would pace up the side of his mountain and lay by her graveside, with space for him to be buried beside her when his time came, a bundle of her namesake, amethyst and gold - iris. One night, a year or two after her passing, driving back to the house that he and Iris had built and which now stood lonely and empty without her in it, Gus parked his Jeep that he had gotten by trading in his old Suburban on the side of a dirt road - he got out, and took a look, on a whim, above him, to the Winter stars. He had wrestled and grappled with the questions - theologically, spiritually, even psychologically - and still he had come up empty, empty as the indigo spans that one would have to traverse to get from star to star, how to properly mourn, how to properly grieve. And then he knew. He just - knew, somehow, a revelation, an epiphany, that she was up there...he knew, somehow, that in the crystalline twinkling of the stars, the same stars that twinkled just the same way the night they met, that she was watching. And - that she would not want him to be like this, not after all this time, all this wasted energy trying and wishing and praying for things that could no longer be. So he got back in his car, laid across the steering wheel and wept, one last time, and he let the heavens have her, let her watch over him and never let him go. Even after this the grief he felt never went away, but it was eased some after Junior had his own son, Gus' grandson, born en caul and destined for either second-sight or greatness or both, named Bligh after a distant patrilineal descendant - he had been too afraid to ask his son about his teeth, if it what happened to Gus had happened to Junior, but he was told by Susan Anne he had needed dentistry to fix some kind of abnormal growth...and knew the unspoken truth. Too soon, tragedy roared back into his life, another October day, this time grey and rainy, when Junior and his wife, Susan Anne, died in a car crash - Junior's Eldorado had careened off a sharp turn, killing them both, with little Bligh Allen, who had just turned five, miraculously surviving in the backseat. It was all, all enough for Gus to invoke old Job, and to have his faith, so sure even before his conversion all those years ago, shook so hard he wondered if Hell could hear it: why, why after so many years of faithful service, would God curse him so? Was it not enough to rob from his beloved, for whose touch he pined every day for the rest of his life - now his son, now his daughter-in-law too? And if I am a Christian,

I am the least of all-- But this was how Gus would soon become Pappy, the name that stuck at first as a tease and thereafter as how he would be known forever after, even amongst folk in Tempest outside of his own family - because his grandson Bligh, started calling him that. Bligh had always been a strange child - the circumstances of his birth alone were the subject of some comment, not just being en caul but having to be delivered in Barnes' veterinary office because of a great and terrible storm that at last blew down that old druid that Gus and Allen would play music under, but this was joined with his oddly quiet nature, as though observing everything around him in a troublingly mature kind of way. He did not speak as other children did - when Archie Lightfoot, the latest scion of that storied family which antedated Gus' own and the son of Gus' friend Ironside had his own son, Andrew, he was, by contrast, a bright and happy child, a chatterbox whose constant babbles exasperated his father...yet Bligh remained uncomfortably quiet. Then, one day, Junior, passing the peculiar newcomer to Gus to hold, murmured in babytalk: "Go see ya Pappy, go see ya Pappy now--" And Bligh burst out, his first words, when he was safe in Gus' arms: "Pa-pee! Pa-pee!" Junior was dumbstruck - but Gus, Pappy, was transported with happiness. He had been his grandson's first word. But...when Bligh came to live with Gus after his parents died, he did not like it, and made it a point, in his own sullen preschool-age way, to let Gus know he did not like him, throwing monstrous tantrums - howling like a wolf, which Gus would shake his head the hardest at - throwing his toys, refusing to come out of his new room in Gus' house, except to hastily eat and then steal back upstairs. It was bad enough that because of this withdrawn, traumatized behavior at school it was recommended he'd be held back a year, but really it seemed like there was no way, no way at all, for Gus to get through to his grandson, damaged in his young existence by being robbed of his parents. Weeks turned into months - Gus tried to cope the best he could, Christmastide drew nearer and he did his yearly rituals, cleaning for Baby Jesus' birthday and putting up a fresh, fragrant pine for a Christmas tree, all while his grandson remained dangerously introverted and reclusive. And then, finally, it occurred to Gus - what had happened to him nearly a decade before, ruminating on how Iris was gone, and what Iris would have wanted, and where Iris still was. Little Bligh would have to somehow see the same thing. So, carrying that little hope in his heart that he could fix things that shone distant but clear like the Star of Bethlehem, with the memory of Pappy as the boy's first word, on the eve of Christmas Eve, Gus came into the boy's room, and instructed him in a firm voice to get on something warm, they were going to go outside. It took some doing - thrice more did he have to be told, and the last time in a loud clear voice that was almost a threat - but eventually little Bligh tumbled down the steps and, his grandfather putting a guiding hand on the small of his back, they came outside. Gus made sure that Bligh followed every step he took, so that he would not get lost - eventually they came down the mountain, a gentle slope that was easy to traverse up and down, and arrived just where Gus needed them to be. The night was a masterpiece of Appalachian Winter - silent, neither sound nor movement, with a light snow dusting the ground that made a faint crunch beneath the feet. The cold was not biting or unpleasant as there was no wind, so that there was only the rejuvenating crispness that enlivened the nerves and thickened the blood. They came to a great, ruined, rotting tree - the big druid that his ancestor had planted, where Gus and his cousin would play music together, and where Gus had his first kiss, all those wistful bygone years before. Gus gently took his grandson's wrist. "Ya seen this tree here, boy?" Bligh shook his head - Gus let go, kneeling to his level, pointing. "This tree here fell the day ye's born...n'yer great-great--" He paused, tittering to himself. "Well let's say a feller ye n'me's both related ta, waaay back when - he planted it!" A spark of something like recognition seemed to wash away the sulky stubbornness that had possessed the boy's face lo these many weeks. "Someone - we related ta?" Bligh asked, his voice quiet to match the night. "S'right," Gus affirmed with a grin. "Our ancestor - our family been here a long, long time, understand." Bligh nodded, slowly, as though absorbing what his grandfather was telling him. "I want ya ta see sumthin else, too--" Using his boot, Pappy kicked part of the hollowed-out trunk of the old druid-tree hard - there, on the inside, was a cluster of phosphorescent vegetation, an unexpected symphony of fulgently radiant light hiding in the tiny cavern of the oaken log. Bligh recoiled - he had never seen anything like it before in his life. "Wha - wha?!" "Walk while ye have the light," Gus pronounced resolutely. "Lest darkness come upon ye - see that there glow?" Bligh nodded, his eyes wide with amazement. "That there's foxfire - it shines right here on the Earth sometimes - like the stars shine up in Heaven." "H-Heaven?" Bligh asked, his voice suddenly hushed. "Like - where Ma and Pa live now?" Now it was Gus' turn to nod. "Yes, boy - yes indeed." He swept up his grandson to lift him up so that he could see the stars shining - Heaven - above them. As he held Bligh up and then set him on his shoulders, he called out in his loud, clear voice that he used at Living Hope:

"Consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the Moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained!"

Right as Bligh grabbed hold of Pappy's head to balance, and just Pappy had finished - he sucked in an amazed breath.

Of course he had seen the stars, and of course he had asked about them, but he had never - so like a little boy - understood, in focus, what infinity meant, what the constellations and asterisms and shapes of the heavens meant, what lay beyond his playroom and the kitchen and the trees and the backyard.

And it was the words of King James that made him understand - the Word of the Lord that Pappy knew and practiced and had a bon mot for, sometimes clever and sometimes poignant, since that terrible day in that faraway place of Korea when he had devoted his life to the Good News.

Bligh's eyes beheld the stars not for the first time, but for the first time that really mattered. "Them stars up ere, boy - lookin down on us - there's ya Ma n'Pa, up ere - there's ya Mamaw Iris, who ye never met, but who - who woulda loved ye all the same..." "They - up there?" "That's right boy - all of em, watchin over us." And then grandson murmured the first true words of coherence in months: "Pappy - I wish they wudn't up yonder - I wish they was here." "Well me too, boy - me too." He sighed, swallowing back a wave of emotion that came with the words. "But we down here, for the time bein - n'we gotta make the best o'what the Lord God gave us." He took a hand to reach up and stroke his grandson's cheek. "So happens - the Lord God gave me a little boy - a little boy named Bligh."

A long silence followed, which Gus gently broke: "Just like em stars bove us shine, boy - n'like the foxfire aneath the log - I'll always shine fer ye. They watch over us up ere - but down here--" He let himself grin, for the first time in he couldn't remember approaching something like inner peace. "Down here - ain't nuthin gonna happen ta ye, long as I'm around - ain't nuthin ever gonna happen ta the boy the Good Lord gave me."

The Winter skies of West Virginia provide intangible proof in their starry voids of the ancient and the impossible, so that on a clear cold evening, with one's head tilted up to behold brumal Orion in the frigid air that turns the breath into the steamy vocabulary of Fafnir, it seems perfectly feasible that - on a night just like this - the Virgin Mary had a baby boy.

Go! Tell it on the mountain! O'er the hills and ev-ry-where!

And there was time enough for Lovecraft's mad spaces, and there was time yet still for Tyson's patient navigations, because there was time enough for little Bligh, already an orphan and doomed to a life against the grains of modernity, to understand the cruelty and the meanness of existence - but now he was wonderstruck, starstruck, at the cosmos that swirled above him in chilled clarity, the very Universe that Pappy's God in wisdom untold had designed and made, and so could he understand that this same cruel, mean place was also, at the very same time, full of kindness and love. "Pappy?" he heard his grandson whisper. "Yeah boy?" "I'm - I - I'm sorry..."

Now Gus - Pappy - felt that the wall that needed to come down had come down, now he knew that he could raise his grandchild and shelter him and protect him and guide him into manhood and carry on the Lynch name with honor and with pride and respect. Now - now Pappy lowered him down so that they were face to face, so that their identical eyes, gelid, frozen-over, but warm in this and all the Winters they would share together, now met. He pointed, down the mountain slope, the trees that twinkled with ice, and he whispered: "G'out with joy." He grinned an encouraging, knowing smile. "Be led forth with peace - the mountains -n'the hills shall break forth before ye into singin, and all the trees o'the field shall clap their hands..." He hugged his little grandson so tight he knew he would never forget. And right then, right that very second - everything was worth it. There had been a road here, there had been a journey undertaken, ever since Iris had blushed to see him watching her across the room at that little church in Summersville - ever since he had clutched Ralph's body in Korea and begged for him, screaming, to get up, to wake up - ever since he would join his cousin's melody on the banjo on those fine Summer days. They were all gone...but Bligh, his grandson, his blood, his flesh, his true legacy, was here. And of all the names, all the titles, all the ways he was or would be looked at - none of them would ever matter as much as the one that this serious, black-haired boy would foist upon him: "Pappy," little Bligh said again, and his eyes glimmered and became overfull with tears. Gus - Gustavus, Pappy - grinned at him, a full and proud smile, and kissed him gently on the cheek. "S'right boy," he whispered, but loud enough that the silent night of the approaching Christmas Eve allowed it to echo across time, space - and names. "I'm yer Pappy."

#Bligh #Pappy #Before Time After

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