crush (peter parker)
summary: peter has been visiting you as spider-man long enough to develop a crush on you. the problem? you have a crush on somebody else.
notes: u guys...i love peter parker so much okay!!! also this is a short fic bc i have a longer one in the works. yes i realize this is 4k words but like, that’s short for me ok bye happy reading!
warnings: typos, probably.
Peter Parker sat on the ledge of your fire escape, careful to avoid the patches of snow from the previous day. It had been a long night of patrolling and his lower back ached to no end. The familiar space spread warmth to Peter’s chest as he attempted to collect his breath, the inside of his suit scratching against his skin.
It had been dark out for a few hours. Peter knew that May would be going to sleep in an hour, leaving the perfect opportunity for him to slip back into his bedroom undetected. He had lied to her earlier, saying that he’d be studying with a group of friends he had made at university earlier that semester. But he had other places he needed to be.
He would be lying if he said his only reason for patrolling was to keep his city out of danger. While that was a big motivation for him to put his suit on, the other reason was because he wanted to see you.
Peter couldn’t recall when the two of you met exactly, but he remembers the moment like it was a core memory for him. You sat on your fire escape one Sunday evening when the sun was just about to set. You had been reading a book when Peter crash landed onto the space next to you because of pure exhaustion from nonstop crime fighting in the hours before the two of you met.
You sat perplexed and Peter was about to apologize profusely before swinging away when you offered him a sip of your water. Peter had been too stunned by how attractive you were to realize you had said something and nearly jumped off of the ledge when he realized you were speaking to him. He liked to think that the moment he wanted to be your friend was the moment you joked about needing to grab a camera from your apartment to take a picture of him.
But despite Peter’s gut telling him to leave you alone, he stayed. The both of you sat on the ledge until well after dark. Peter couldn’t remember a time where he felt closer to a stranger in a short amount of time and found himself swinging by your neighborhood during his nightly routine. He stopped by your window the next night and you welcomed him into your room with little hesitation.
Peter always came back. He lifted his hand to knock on your window and his heart beat twice as fast when he saw your smile directed towards him. You had been folding laundry and Peter imagined what life would be like if he had met you as Peter Parker instead of Spider-Man.
“How was your day?” Peter asked. He sat on the window sill with his legs dangling in your bedroom. The warm air helped soothe his aching back and he let himself relax for a while.
You laughed at his question. Peter never wanted to talk about himself and it was something you picked up on a while ago. He always asked you about your interests and what you liked to do when you weren’t with him. Peter was already secretive about his identity as to not reveal it, but he was far more interested in getting to know you.
“Same old, same old,” you said, resuming your laundry. “I was assigned a project for my journalism class and I’m already stressing out over it.”
Peter laughed and stood in your bedroom, closing the window behind him. You were always like this, stressing out over academic assignments even though he knew you managed your time well enough to get a good grade on it.
“You always say that,” he commented. You threw a shirt at him, which he caught and threw back at you.
“I know,” you agreed. “But I’m adding that to the list of things I’m stressed out about.”
Peter watched as you continued to fold your laundry and the moment he realized he saw your intimate clothing, he had involuntarily coughed and looked elsewhere. He was blushing profusely when you came to the same realization that he did and watched as you tried to put it away as quickly as possible.
“There’s this guy,” you said after a brief moment.
Peter’s heart dropped. A guy? He wasn’t aware that you were talking to anyone, otherwise you would have told him. Or perhaps you were talking to someone and this was your way of telling Peter. Either way, he felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.
“A guy?” Peter croaked.
You sat on your bed as Peter sat on your large plush chair.
“It’s so stupid,” you said, burying your head in your knees.
“It’s not stupid,” Peter said despite himself. “People have crushes all the time.”
“Yeah, but this qualifies as borderline stalking,” you said with a groan. “I don’t even know his name. I only know about him because my friend asked him for homework pages and I happened to be with her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so tall and handsome.”
Peter didn’t know how to react.
“He was so willing to help my friend out and he nearly tripped over himself to get his notebook out of his backpack. The guy was so cute and just, argh,” you said. Peter laughed awkwardly.
“So your type is tall and awkward?”
You scrunched your nose. “My type is someone who respects me and the people in their lives, and it doesn’t help if they’re tall and bashful.”
Peter rolled his eyes under his mask.
“That could be anyone, Y/N.”
You threw a pillow at him.
“I can’t help who I find attractive, you dolt. This man had the sharpest jawline I’ve ever seen and he wears glasses.”
Peter frowned and spoke before thinking.
“What’s wrong with wearing glasses? I wear glasses.”
You looked at him and cocked your head to the side. This was the first bit of information you had about him and what he might look like underneath his Spider-Man suit. Peter nearly choked when he realized what he said.
“I don’t think it’s bad, Spidey,” you exclaimed. “I think it’s really attractive.”
Peter was silent. He didn’t know if you were talking about him or the guy you were talking about.
“Is it weird that I know you wear glasses?”
Peter didn’t know if he was thankful that the conversation switched from the boy you were crushing on to what he looked like.
“A little,” he said with a shrug. “But millions of people wear glasses so I don’t think you could ever spot me if you tried.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered. “I wear contacts but I wear my glasses sometimes. Not often, though. It gets annoying having to readjust them. I wonder where that guy got his glasses from.”
Peter almost bolted out of your window but chose to stay. He’d rather talk to you about a guy you had been crushing on instead of not at all.
“I’ve never had a proper conversation with him. My friend tried to sneak photos of him but I think that’s just invading his personal privacy.”
He shrugged. “Maybe this is the start of a modern romance, or something.”
You laughed. “He’s like, the tallest boy I’ve ever met and he’s always riding a skateboard around campus. The guy looks like he’s really quiet unless you get to know him.”
“Maybe you should try talking to him.” Peter winced at his advice.
“I’m too shy,” you admitted. “I doubt he remembers me. We last spoke three days ago and I don’t blame him if he thinks I’m an utter creep for thinking about him since we met.”
“Guys don’t overthink like girls do,” Peter said despite watching you give him a pointed look. “If a pretty girl told me she’d been thinking about me, I’d ask her out.”
“You think I’m pretty?” you teased, walking from your seat on your bed towards him. Peter nearly panicked, coughing to alleviate his stress.
“Fine, have it your way. Stare at him from a distance for the rest of your life.” Peter tried his best to match your sarcastic tone without giving away how disappointed he was about not being able to ask you out on a date. He resigned himself to his seat, knowing he’d never be anything more than the boy who you talk to a few times during the week.
“It’s too soon,” you said with a sigh. Peter watched as you bit your lip and looked at the wall in front of you. He could tell you were thinking about the guy you were talking about and wished he was the one you were thinking about instead.
“I’ve gotta go,” Peter said abruptly.
“You just got here,” you said with a pout. Peter desperately wanted to stay but he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle you talking about another guy.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he apologized. “I’m really tired.”
“Okay,” you said while watching Peter open your window. “I’ll see you soon?”
“I’ll see you soon.”
The following day, Peter’s shoulders felt heavy as he heard his alarm clock go off. He could barely bring himself to get out of bed and into the kitchen where May was making breakfast. It was times like this when he wished he had his own apartment instead of sharing one with her, but his classes at his university were a mere twenty minute walk. He wished he could’ve skipped class and let himself wallow in his disappointment.
On his way to his first class, Peter couldn’t help but think about how impossible it would be for the two of you to have a relationship. Peter wasn’t so sure if he was willing to disclose his identity to you in order to keep you out of harm’s way. But even if he never revealed himself to you, it wouldn’t make a difference if he was still hanging out in your apartment every other night. Peter wasn’t willing to keep his distance from you.
It was always hard for him to keep his hands to himself. He wanted to hold you while you slept and he wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you without having to wear his suit. The both of you had vastly different lives and he was always concerned that you only liked him because he was Spider-Man. His insecurities got the better of him because he didn’t have a way of approaching you as Peter Parker.
He spent the rest of the day in a slump, wondering if he’d swing by your apartment later. But before he could really think about what he was doing, Peter put his suit on, patrolled for a few hours, and headed to your place.
“You left really early last night,” you said as you let him into your bedroom. Peter could hear the disappointment in your voice and felt extremely guilty.
“I know, I know,” he said above a whisper. “I was really exhausted last night.”
You nodded. “We can, I don’t know, watch a movie? I can order take out and we can just talk about your day, if you want.”
Peter didn’t know if it was desperation in your voice or if it was just him imagining that you wanted to spend time with him. He agreed and promised to buy you sandwiches the following weekend to make up for your generosity.
Being here with you felt real. He watched as you brought the pizza box with paper plates back to your room and couldn’t help but feel his heart grow at the normalcy. He loved seeing you laid back and carefree like this and Peter wished he could do this every night. He didn’t pay attention to what you picked on Netflix, instead focused on how you had let him sit on your bed with your body pressed next to him. He could feel your arm graze his and felt his senses spiral out of control. It took a lot in him not to pull you between his legs and hold you until you both fell asleep.
Halfway through the film, Peter watched as you moved closer to the point where your side was fully onto his. He didn’t think you realized what you were doing—your eyes were glued to the screen and your phone was across the room. Peter hesitated for a moment before he put his arm around you, unsure of your next move.
But he could see a faint smile. Peter dared to pull you closer to him.
When Peter woke up the next morning, he could barely register that you fell asleep on him. Your head was on his chest, your hair sprawled over your face as you slept. He brushed his fingers over your cheeks and moved the loose strands to the side of your face. You stirred in your sleep and Peter halted his movements, keeping his hands in his lap when you opened your eyes.
“Hi,” you said quietly. Peter almost groaned at how raspy your voice was first thing in the morning.
“Good morning,” he whispered. He watched you yawn and stretch. You didn’t get up from him for a moment, assessing your environment. When you realized you were nearly laying on top of him, he watched as you separated yourself from him.
“Do you want to brush your teeth?” you blurted, blushing at the realization that you nearly slept on him. “I have a spare toothbrush.”
“That would be great, actually,” Peter said.
A few moments later, Peter found himself staring into the mirror in your bathroom. It felt strange to be in your apartment without his mask on because he was always hyper aware of the fact that he was always here as his alter ego. But as he brushed his teeth, he listened to your footsteps in your bedroom next to the room he was in. He could hear your faint humming when he turned off the water faucet and smiled at how normal this felt.
“So this is goodbye for now, huh?” you asked him as he stepped back into your room. “It’s weird to know that you were in my bathroom without your mask on.”
Peter laughed. “I’ve always been here with my suit on so it was weird being able to take it off for a few minutes. It almost felt normal.”
You bit your lip. “I wish I could know you more than Spider-Man. I love what you do for the city and I could never ask for you to do anything more, but I just wish we could be normal friends.”
Peter’s heart swelled at your confession and he was elated to receive verbal confirmation that you wanted to know him for who he is. But at the same time, his heart dropped because he knew he wouldn't be able to bring himself to reveal himself to you, especially when you have feelings for someone else.
“Me too,” he said. Peter fixed his suit and opened your window. “I had a lot of fun, Y/N.”
“I did too,” you said as he stepped onto the fire escape.
You followed and stood next to him and watched as he hesitated to swing away, instead turning to look at you. Peter lurched forward to hold you in an embrace. He’d never gone as far as to hold you like this, his arms around your shoulder on a cold New York morning after he had spent the night. Peter’s taller frame allowed him to press his cheek against the crown of your head and he closed his eyes in delight.
“Thank you for last night,” Peter said before letting you go reluctantly. “I haven’t had down time in a while.”
“Anytime, Spidey,” you nearly stuttered. “If you ever need quiet, you know where I live.”
“You should…you should talk to the guy you like,” Peter said. He would be damned if you didn’t get your chance at happiness because of his inherent jealousy. “Ask him on a coffee date, or something.”
Peter swung away before he could do or say anything else he would regret.
The following Monday was cloudy with a streak of sunlight emerging from the clouds. As Peter rode his skateboard in between classes, he couldn’t help but think about the night the two of you shared. Sure, he was in his Spider-Man suit and it wasn’t a conventional sleepover, but he slept over nonetheless. Peter was able to take his mask off in your bathroom with you in the room next door. For a single moment, Peter pretended that it was a regular occurrence and it was him who you had a crush on, not the unnamed guy you couldn’t stop talking about.
Peter knew nothing in his life was simple once he was publicly named as Spider-Man, including his love life. He desperately wanted to tell you how he felt and tell you to forget about the guy who didn’t know you existed because he stood there in front of you almost every night, willing you to choose him because he liked you for who you were. He liked that you were passionate about your creative endeavours. He liked that your bedroom was filled with personal memories from college and from your hometown. He liked that you were comfortable speaking your mind with him.
It was hard to live two lives at once. It was harder to keep this secret away from you because he wanted you to know every single part of him. It hurt Peter to know that you didn’t really know him; you knew the image of him he presented when he was Spider-Man. You knew he was a bit awkward during one-on-one conversations and that he was passionate about working for the community based on everything you’ve seen him do and what you’ve talked about with him. And Peter knew you wanted to get to know him on a deeply personal level like he had done with you, but he wasn’t willing to risk it if it meant putting you in any kind of danger.
His headphones were secured and his thoughts were above the clouds. Peter barely registered that he had bumped into someone while riding his skateboard until he fell off of it himself.
“Oh God,” Peter mumbled, ripping his headphones out and shoving them in his pocket. “I am so—”
Peter looked up to see you in front of him.
He sat there, astonished at the coincidence and pure luck he had. Did you go to the same university that he did and had he not known it this entire time? How many discussions did the both of you have about your classes only for him not to put two and two together?
“I’m very sorry,” you began, stuttering when you picked up your phone and other belongings from the floor. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
Peter grabbed his skateboard and offered you a hand. He watched as you accepted his offer and wanted to leap from excitement when your palm touched his. You dusted your skirt off as Peter adjusted his backpack, watching as you kept glancing at him and then looking away.
“It’s my fault,” Peter said, releasing your hand once he realized he’d been holding it for too long. “I guess I got too wrapped up in my music.”
“I understand,” you said with an awkward laugh. “Sometimes I get too distracted when I’m listening to my favorite music. It just puts me in space that makes me daydream a lot.”
Peter watched as your eyes widened at the realization that you had probably shared too much. He knew this expression all too well and to assuage your thoughts, he agreed.
“Oh, definitely,” he said with a shy grin. “Everyone’s always telling me I should probably stop listening to music when I’m going somewhere because I always end up in a daydream of sorts.”
It was your turn to laugh.
“I can’t say I’ve ever run into anyone while skateboarding, but I’ve definitely had my fair share of run ins because my music was a little too loud.”
As your laughs died down, Peter was able to get a good look at you. He’d never seen you outside of the front steps of your apartment building. It was surreal to see you in such a normal setting. It was like he was running into an old friend he hadn’t seen in a while.
“Would you like to…” you began. Peter snapped out of his thoughts when he heard you speak.
“Hm?” he asked.
You shook your head. “Never mind.” You took a step back and put your phone in your back pocket. “Sorry again for running into you. Have a great day!”
Peter watched as you walked away, a warm feeling growing in his chest.
He didn’t think much of going to your apartment later that night, casually swinging across the city until he reached the familiar fire escape he had grown to love so much. You sat by the window when he arrived and Peter was curious as to why you had waited for him.
“You usually come around this time,” you said with a shrug. “I just thought I’d wait for you, is all.”
“I’m touched, Y/N,” said Peter. “How was your day?”
Peter watched as you became bashful.
“Oh God,” you started, your voice rising an octave. “I had the most embarrassing day and I came back straight home after my classes. I don’t think I could step foot outside my apartment again, if I’m being honest.”
Peter laughed. “Come on, it couldn't be that bad.”
You laughed nervously.
“Spidey, you may be right about a lot of things, but you’re wrong about this one. For one, I was late by fifteen minutes to my first class because I overslept, which wasn’t my proudest moment.”
Peter watched as you paced around your room.
“And?” he asked.
“And, I ended up running into the guy I’ve been crushing on today.”
Peter’s heart dropped.
“Yeah?” he croaked.
“It was so mortifying,” you said, bringing your hands to your face. “He was riding on his skateboard and I was too preoccupied talking to my friend on the phone to notice him next to me until I was on the ground. I was trying to find her in the courtyard where I ran into him.”
You stopped in front of Peter and looked at him.
“And then I tried to ask him out but I chicken out at the last minute because he was looking at me like he wanted to kiss me, which must’ve been in my head because we had met only once and that was weeks ago! But then my friend who I met up with saw me run into him and she told me that his name is Peter Parker, so I guess I have that to remember the next time I see him.”
Peter’s eyes widened and he stood up abruptly, causing you to take a few steps back.
“Wait, what?” was all he said.
“Please don’t tell me you weren’t listening,” you groaned. “I said that I ran into—”
“I got that,” he interjected. “Your crush, his name is Peter Parker?”
You raised an eyebrow at him.
“What, do you know him or something?”
Before Peter could think about the consequences, he used his fingers to lift off his mask.
He watched as your eyes widened with realization and as you replayed the events in your head. Peter watched as your mouth hung upon as you tried to process the information given to you and felt a sense of relief knowing you knew who he was.
“You little shit!”
Peter did not expect that to be your first reaction.
“All this time I’ve been talking about my crush who is stupidly tall and handsome, and all this time it was you?”
“To be fair,” Peter said, taking a step forward, “I didn’t know you were talking about me. I’ve had feelings for you for a while but when you started talking about having a crush, I thought my chances were done for.”
Your breathing increased at an uneven pace. The guy who you saw around campus but was too nervous to talk to was the guy who had been spending almost every night in your bedroom. The guy you wanted to ask out was the guy who slept in your bed the night before.
“I’m so embarrassed,” you said, looking away from him.
Peter cupped your jawline and stroked your cheeks with the pad of his thumbs. He gazed down at you and smiled at how the tip of your glistened with the highlighter that he knew you loved so much.
“I like you,” he confessed. “That day where we accidentally met was the best day of my life. You make me feel like I don’t need to be two people at once.”
“Peter,” you whispered. He nodded at you. “Peter Parker, I feel the same way. I always wished you would let me know who you were because I like you for you.”
“Knowing you has been an absolute privilege.”
And then he kissed you.
hello my loves!! i hope you liked this lil story. please leave a reblog/like and let me know what you think! <3