#I hope everything is okay‚ please let me know if you notice any mistake!!
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BSD Anthologies Masterlist
I couldn't find a comprehensive (and with still working links) masterlist of the translated anthology chapters so. Here we go! Biggest shoutout to this other masterlist by @/yokohama-drip for most of the chapter references and to bsd-bibliophile for chapters 7 and 12 of the first and second anthologies. Titles translation credits go to the bsd wiki. Happy reading!
Edit: Thank you so much @amythedemisimp for the precious additions!!!
1-5 raws
First Anthology -Rei-
Don't Get a Stomachache to Gain a Friend by Hideki
The Things I Hate, the Things I Like by Ichi Kotoko
The Devil Comes and Takes Care by KanaiNeco
Kenji 100% by Enya Uraki
The Detective Agency's Manju Incident by Ui Kashima
A Quiz During Work by Mito Aoi
Karl's Resentment by Tsubata Nozaki /// alternative translation
The Things I Like by Con Kitora
Me and the Cake and Sometimes the Pug by Kazuki Tōgō
Jun'ichirō Tanizaki's Suffering by Akamaru
Fortune-telling Will Bring Good Luck by Yūto Masagishi
Icy Weather by Tam Chashibu
What is a Partner...? by Akaza Samamiya
Second Anthology -Hana-
The Detective Agency and the Port Mafia's Holidays by Mikan Aka
Time Sale is a Battlefield by Guru Mizoguchi
Q's Stroll Day by Kazusa Subaru
Osamu Dazai Quiz Tournament by Hinoki Kino
Ruler! Fitzgerald's Room by KanaiNeco
Thirty-two. Episode Five by Kakashi Tano
Ichiyō Higuchi's Off Duty Top Secret Mission by Ataru Hida
A Restaurant with Many Literary Masters by Ko Nikaido
A Timid Person's Day by Masahiro Jinno
Hot Pots and Holidays by Sho Kimiduka
The Tiger's Repayment by Kotaro
Sweet Outing by Yuzuru Kuzukiri /// alternative translation
Bungos' Joint Social Gathering by Hideki
Stray Dogs' Lucky Spot Disagreement by Noka Nogami
Third Anthology -Rin-
Mother by Hideki /// alternative translation
The Mafia Inadvertently Read a Novel Written on a Whim and Reincarnated in a Parallel Universe by Hinoki Kino /// alternative translation
As You Wear It by Akira Hirahara /// alternative translation
The Devil's Automatic Door by Nanora /// alternative transaltion
How to Find Happiness by Kanae Ikushima /// alternative translation
Hello, Again Winter Dreams. by Pyaa /// alternative translation
The Visitor in the Rain by Togekinoko /// alternative translation
Because My Senior's Healthcare is Also My Job by Roku Sakura /// alternative translation
Good Weather, Cat Storm by Osawa /// alternative translation
Breakfast Situation by Miki Daichi /// alternative translation
Elise-chan, a Smartphone Application by KanaiNeco /// alternative translation
Q's Suffering by Hiko Nekome /// alternative translation
Tiger, Sometimes Cat by Taichi Miya /// alternative translation
The Port Mafia's Medical Check-up by Sakurana Haru
With a Hat, a Man and a Beef Bowl by Oda
Fourth Anthology -Akatsuki-
Poe and Ranpo and Enter and Black Tea by Imaru Adachi /// alternative translation
Apple Demon by Nykken
A Little Break by Siroisora
Exciting Grab Bag by Toriyasu
All Quiet on the Black Cloth Front by Mari Araki
Hirotsu-san's Coffee Shop by Yashino Ayashiro
The Client is a Cute Ghost by Otakumi
The Little Visitor in the Rain by Togekinoko
Fully Automatic Suicide Machine by Zero Akabane
Why Did You Come to Japan? by KanaiNeco
The Story of Kunikida Falling Asleep by Saru Hashino
A Hunting Dogs' Holiday by Hinoki Kino
Infernal Day by Asuka Keigen
The Decision is an Oblate that Enwraps the Pain of Life by Hideki
Fifth Anthology -Kanade-
Masterlist by @/zilinks
Sixth Anthology -Mutsumi-
Given to You Based on Your Level and Love by KanaiNeco
Detective Agency Radio by Yu Kira
GET UP LUCY!! by Kabotya
Poe, Wine and the Setting Sun by Imaru Adachi
Shindafuri Dai Sakusen by Yuri Tsukushiro
Hanachidori by iyutani
What Style Are You? by Kiyo Hasui
'Hitori' yori 'hanbun' by Neno
The Angel's Rest by Mari Araki
Mottomo Erai Egoisuto by Mutsuki Higashioji
Magomusume Sakusen, Zokkō-chū ni Tsuki by Eku Hachida
Boo no Yū by Asato Konami
Do S! Erisu-chan!! by Kakeru Sora
Young Ranpo Wants to Be Praised by Tsuki Anmi (incomplete)
#Need to make this for the other masterpost#Enjoy!!#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd anthology#mine#my masterlist#I hope everything is okay‚ please let me know if you notice any mistake!!
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Never again
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: When you feel like you are not worthy of being part of the avengers, you discover someone who thinks exactly the opposite.
a/n. So, this is my first fanfic :). I would really appreciate if you tell me if you liked and your opinions about it! I hope I don't dissapoint anyone! Any advice would be appreciated. And please, remember English is not my first language.
Word count: 1.5k
Fluff, shy Bucky.
As a new avenger everything was hard for you. Not because the rest of the team wasn’t nice or understanding with you, but because of all the pressure you had to go through. Everyone in the city was looking at you all the time, at the new girl, questioning every move you made. Why wouldn’t they? You are the novelty, something new to talk about after a calm period of time. You were there for six months and you were already stressed.
“Hey Y/N, you okay? You seem off.” You heard Wanda asking as she looked at you with a frown. You had made friends; Sam and Wanda were immediately your favorite people in the team since the first time you arrived, always so welcoming and nice. But you never tell them how you really felt; you didn’t want to be a bother, they all had their own worries and you didn’t want to be another one to add to the list. “Yeah! I’m just tired, I couldn’t sleep last night.” You try to fake a smile hoping she would buy it and stop asking.
Every day at night you go on a walk by a little beach near the compound— your safe place, a moment of peace in which you let your feelings out, crying while nobody is watching or listening to you. At least, you don’t think anyone notices your daily routine, you think you’re being cautious. But that’s not the case, there’s one person who has been watching you since almost the first time— Bucky Barnes, the cold and sometimes rude super soldier.
Bucky Barnes was stunned the first time you met him, but you thought he didn’t care about you. He looked at you when you introduced yourself, nodded and left the room. You almost cried. Why was he that rude? The truth was that he couldn’t stop thinking about you. When you met him you didn’t look scared of him nor you didn’t seem to hate him. You were like a ray of sunshine, smiling and being nice. He couldn’t allow himself to be near you, he didn’t deserve you. But he started to notice your nightly walks and he couldn’t allow you to go alone. What if something happened to you? No, no, that couldn’t happen. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you.
Bucky suffered each time he saw you cry, but he didn’t want to interfere, thinking you wouldn't want him near. So he tried to cheer you up from a safe distance. You received flowers (sunflowers, because they reminded him of you), your favorite candies and, even once, a book you wanted to read for a few weeks before he sent it to you. You didn’t know who was buying those things for you, you thought you had some fan like the other avengers had.
“Hey! Sam! Look what I received today! Someone sent me some candles! They smell amazing!” Sam chuckled at your excitement looking discreetly at his super soldier best friend, who was sitting at the sofa, peeking at you from behind the book he was reading. “Y/N, that fan of yours must really like you a lot, doesn’t it look like that, Bucky?” Of course, he knew his friend, and he knew Bucky was head over heels for you. “Yeah, sure.” Bucky hid himself again behind the book, not before sending a death glare to his friend. You blush, realizing in that exact moment that he was there. You might have developed a tiny crush on him. Well, maybe not that tiny, but he was so handsome. And even though he barely talked to you, you loved when you saw him laughing and joking with Sam and Steve. It was a rare but beautiful sight.
It was night again, and the day had been really hard for you, you had made a mistake that caused the loss of some important files. The team was able to recover them, but still, you felt awful. It was like you only failed again and again. That night, you started walking by your comfort beach but you couldn’t see through all the tears falling down your eyes; it was too much. You sat in the sand and started crying; you couldn’t stop.
You felt strong arms wrapping you. “I’m here.” You could recognise that voice anywhere. Bucky was there, with you, hugging you and telling you that he was there for you. You hugged him tight while crying more and more, while he caressed your hair. “It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.”
When you calmed yourself, you didn’t want to move, you were too embarrassed to do something. Not only had someone seen you crying, but that someone was Bucky Barnes himself. “Y/N? Do you feel better now?”
You nod and look at him, your face completely red. He chuckles when he sees how embarrassed you are. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you if you need me.”
“I… I feel awful. What I did today… it could’ve ended really badly, Bucky. I’m only a burden; I don’t belong here. People are watching me fail everyday at something. I can’t anymore.” You try to not start crying again but you fail.
“Don’t say that That’s completely false, Y/N. You’re really important here. You don’t realize how helpful you are here.” He hugs you again and kisses your forehead while you keep crying.
“Do you really believe that? I’m not that relevant; I’ve been here for six months.” You look at him again, still blushing.
“Don’t you realize how much we need you? It’s not only the fact that you are an amazing agent, it’s also because you always have a smile on your face, always smiling. You are always there when someone needs something, willing to help. You don’t want anyone to suffer, but you suffer alone. The team would not survive without you. I wouldn’t survive without you.” He whispered that last sentence and if it wasn’t for the fact that you were still hugging and you were so close to him, you would’ve missed it.”
“What?” You blushed again. “Bucky, what do you mean?”
It’s his turn to blush, as he ignores your question. “You know, it’s not the first time I see you here… I just didn’t want to bother you. It seemed like you wanted to be alone and… yeah, today… I couldn’t just stare and do nothing.”
“I appreciate it. I really do. I needed that hug.” You look straight in his eyes. “But can you answer my question, please?” You saw how he avoided your eyes and blushed more. You then realize that he hadn’t let you go off his arms, and you blush as you start to chuckle because you two look like idiots.
“Are you really gonna make me answer that? Can we ignore it, please?” He knew he’d have to answer but he didn’t want to.
“Yes, please.” You now looked at him with a serious expression and he realized that this was his chance, he was going to tell you how he feels about you.
“Okay, but please don’t interrupt me, I need to say this quickly” You nodded. “Y/N, I… since the fist time I saw you, you live rent free in my mind. You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. You truly are light; you bring sun to the darkest days. You remind me of a sunflower. When you started walking at night, I started too; I couldn’t let anything happen to you. When I saw you crying every night… my heart broke in a million pieces, I wanted to help you, be there for you everytime you needed me. But I didn’t know if you would’ve wanted me to be with you, I know that we are not that close, and I feel it’s my fault.” You didn’t know what to say; you stared at him in shock.
“Bucky, why? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Why didn’t you talk to me? Or tried to be my friend?” You were trapped in his eyes, so blue you thought you could drown in them.
“I don’t deserve you, Y/N. I… I have something to confess. The flowers, the candles… It was me.” He looked away from your eyes.
“Look at me, Bucky, please.” He looked at you, then at your lips. The tension was palpable. You looked at his lips and then up at his eyes. When you saw the way he’s looking at you, you felt at home, safe. You had never felt as loved as in that moment. So you did it. You kissed him and the world stopped. It was just both of you; nothing else mattered. You felt safe with him and you knew you’d never be alone again.
“Bucky? I don’t want to do this walks alone again.” He laughed and wrapped his arms around you again, kissing your forehead.
“Never again, love, never again”.
#bucky fluff#bucky barnes fluff#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#james bucky barnes
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Party
꒰ ͜͡➸ Pairing: Minho x Female Reader
꒰ ͜͡➸ Genre: College AU, Smut
꒰ ͜͡➸ Warnings: (Obviously) NSFW content, alcohol, mentions of drugs, cigarettes, smoking, drinking, explicit content, overstimulation, fingering, pet names, praise (like good girl)
꒰ ͜͡➸ w/c: 3,5k
꒰ ͜͡➸Masterlist
So I read this request a day ago and thought of it as really interesting because I'm currently writing a story which is similar to that, so I wanted to give this specific scenario a go.
You haven't mentioned which Gender the Reader should have, so because of the roommate being female (and as far as I know there are no mixed rooms) I will assume that the Reader is female as well.
This is actually my first attempt to write NSFW so I hope it'll be good and let me know how you think of it.
Have fun <3
(Not proof read because it's 1 am and I was too lazy so please excuse any mistakes <3)
Request by @the-unknown-daisy
Your bag hit the ground the moment you finally closed the door to your dorm room.
Your best friend was currently sitting on her bed, painting her nails, while you let yourself fall onto your bed.
"Everything okay?" She turned her head to you for a second, taking in the little ball you had curled into, before she went back to concentrating on the task ahead.
She knew you had been like this for a few weeks now and she didn't know what was bothering you.
You normally always talked with her about stuff like that, but this time you decided against it. Exam stress was getting to you and you felt as if you weren't doing enough, but it felt stupid to voice it like that.
You knew she would understand and support you, but you still didn't confide in her.
She had been so happy these past few weeks, always meeting up with Changbin and spending time with him, that you didn't want to spoil her mood with yours.
Changbin is a really nice guy and he was making her so happy, sometimes you envied her.
Of course you wished them nothing but happiness, but it often happened, that when you saw them interact, you wished to be able to have someone like that in your life too.
You weren't lucky with boys though. All your relationships had ended on a bad note and you were just annoyed by it at this point.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you getting ready for something?" Stupid question. It's Friday. There would obviously be a campus party somewhere.
Students could barely contain their desire to drink and party all week, of course no one would miss the weekend parties.
Normally you would go as well, not as often as your best friend, but also quite often. However you didn't really feel like it the past few weeks and you didn't want to drag anyone down with you.
"Yep, the party is at Changbin's dorm this time. I would have either spend the night with him or at a party anyway so it's pretty convenient." Your best friend answered, while she finally closed the bottle of nail polish.
"You're coming with me, by the way." She nonchalantly added, as she blew on her nails.
"Wait, what? When did I say yes to this plan of yours?" You tilted your head, confusion taking over your features.
Had you promised to go?
"Well you didn't. But I told Changbin I would bring you along. You've been quite down these past few weeks and I wanna cheer you up." She got up from her bed and went over to yours, sitting down next to you.
"Plus you know Changbin's roommate?" Of course you did. Who didn't know him.
"You mean Lee Minho?" Her face lit up at that.
"Exactly! Isn't that enough reason to come? He'll be hanging out with Changbin, I'll be hanging out with Changbin and you'll be hanging out with me." She beamed at you and you could only sigh.
Of course, like everyone, you thought that Minho was very attractive. Hell, their entire group of friends was. But you still felt rather down and meeting someone like him in this condition, wasn't going to get you any plus points with him.
You turned to your friend to tell her that you didn't want to come, when you noticed her smiling down at her phone.
"I'm Telling Changbin you're coming! He missed having you around too." At that point you couldn't say no any longer.
She was being so happy over the fact that you could spend the night together, that you didn't want to let her down again.
"Fine, I'll come."
~
The last few hours had been spend with getting ready and by now, you were already tired.
You didn't know how you'd get through the night, but your best friend was convinced that if you looked hot, you would certainly feel hot and she wasn't wrong.
You did actually feel better, if you didn't think about the tiredness seeping into your bones. An energy drink would fix that.
Your best friend was wearing a pretty white top, that stopped right above her belly-button and a short pinks skirt with high heels.
Her makeup was close to that, but not too much pink.
While you were wearing tight black jeans and a black top that had only one sleeve and also stopped right above your belly-button. However it was also V-formed, showing more of your cleavage than your besties top did.
The dorm wasn't too far so you made your way over there, slowly strolling through the night, which was immediately illuminated by the party lights.
The music was already at full power and you could nearly hear it on the entire campus.
Professors thankfully never minded, so they could keep doing their little parties.
You followed your friend, never letting go of her hand as she lead you inside the dorm, finally meeting up with Changbin.
"Hey baby, you're here." He pulled her closer by her waist and planted a soft kiss onto her lips, which probably would have turned more passionate if you hadn't been standing next to them.
"Hey there little one, I missed you." The taller male greeted you by ruffling your hair up.
"Missed you too." You replied while your eyes scanned the room.
It was already extremely full and it was only 11 pm. You didn't want to know how full it could get.
You had been to quite a few parties but you were always amazed how many people actually fit into these dorms.
They weren't small but they weren't exactly big either.
Changbin had been playing beer pong with some guys until we had interrupted him. So he resumed in doing so, while one of his arms was securely wrapped around your friends waist.
"Binnie." Your best friend whined and he chuckled.
"Sorry guys, finish without me." He turned to her and kissed her, before leading you two away.
"Minho just wrote me telling me he's on his way back with Chan." Changbin commented as he made his way through the crowd and into the kitchen, offering us something to drink.
"Where did they go?"
"They went to get the others. Jeongin was at his parents for a few hours and Chan and Minho went to get him." The older answered, while giving us two glasses.
Not even seconds after he had given them to us, the crowd outside got louder.
"Seems like they're back." Changbin chuckled and went to meet up with them. We followed him closely.
"Hey, look who is finally out of her prison." Chan joked as he side-hugged you.
You had become friends with most of them after your best friend started dating Changbin so this was pretty normal behaviour.
"Sorry, sorry, didn't know I was missed so much." You chuckled as you leaned into Chan's side, when your eyes found Minho's.
You never knew what he was thinking. Could never figure him out. He was a mystery to you and many others.
Chan left first, going to greet some friends while Changbin, Minho, your friend and you made your way to the terrace to get some air.
A lot of people were out here as well but you all sat down on the couch.
"Let's play a game." Someone suggested and everyone agreed on truth or dare. The typical party game that everyone loved to participate in when their brains were non-functional.
You were sipping on your drink while the game commenced.
Till now you had been playing it safe, mostly taking truth, as you knew not many would pick up on it due to being drunk. However someone did pick up on it.
"Three time in a row. You have to pick dare." Minho said as he leaned back on the couch, his eyes fixed on you.
It had been Changbin who had spun the bottle, so why was he interfering?
You said but complied, picking dare this time, which made Changbin grin.
"Kiss Minho."
You were left speechless for a moment. Of course you knew how the game worked, but you hadn't expected this from Changbin. He always went easy on you, which is why you hadn't really been worried when the bottle picked you.
"What, never kissed anyone? I won't bite unless you want me to." Minho commented, a smirk finding its way onto his lips.
You got up from your place, walking over to Minho.
People were sitting next to him so you couldn't do so to kiss him. While you were still contemplating what to do, his hand found your waist and pulled you onto his lap.
"Not so shy." How could you not be, when you were about to kiss the Lee Minho?
Your thighs were on either side of him, as his hands still kept a steady grip on your waist. You leaned in closer, stopping right before your lips could touch his.
At this point both of your eyes were fixed on the others lips and you could feel his smirk on yours.
"What are you waiting for, Princess?"
That's all it took for you to connect your lips.
The kiss was slow at first. Your lips still finding the perfect rhythm to move against each other. However, it didn't take long before the kiss got more heated. He bit your lower lip, asking for entrance which you immediately complied with.
His tongue found its way into your space, exploring your mouth while you tilted your head to deepen the kiss.
It didn't take long for his tongue to find yours, his hands moving up and down your waist at this point while you could feel that you were sitting atop his member, as he got hard.
Your hands found their way into his hair, holding onto him as you moved your hips for a second, making him bite your tongue at the movement which made you gasp in return.
You both parted from each other, a delicate string of saliva still connecting your lips to each other, as you tried to breathe in as much air as possible. This being the only reason you parted in the first place.
The game had commenced while you two had been shamelessly making out and you finally realised that you two weren't alone.
You immediately got off his lap and went back to your place, however your lips were still burning with the feeling of his on them.
The game got boring soon and most disappeared back inside, including Changbin and your friend, while you were now sitting next to Minho, still outside.
He was smoking a cigarette right now, accompanying it with a glass of vodka.
You never really smiled but at this point and the level of drunk you currently were at, you were curious.
"Let me try."
Minho turned his eyes to you, the cigarette still on his lips. He seemed to contemplate it for a moment, until a smirk formed on his lips.
"Sure, but allow me to try something." You didn't really mind. He is Changbin's friend so you trusted him as well.
He took a deep drag of his cigarette, before his long fingers found their way onto your chin, pulling you closer without a word. They put slight pressure on your chin, which made you part your lips and you immediately understood, parting them a little more.
He came closer to you, your nose nearly touching his as he leaned his head to the side, to blow the smoke inside of your mouth. You inhaled, but he didn't give you a lot of time to think as his lips smashed onto your again.
The smoke not being the only thing that went into your mouth as his tongue followed suit. You held onto his shirt, returning the kiss while his hands found their way to your ass, squeezing them for a second before he lifted you onto his lap by your waist.
You immediately adjusted to the situation, sitting up slightly. Your hands finding his neck as you returned the kiss. Your tongue finding his, the fight for dominance not taking long as Minho immediately won it.
You both parted again, out of breathe. It was way too hot between you two. And you both wanted nothing more than to taste the other.
Without a word he picked you up, your legs wrapping around his torso as he carried you to his room.
His room was a no-go zone at parties like these. Everyone knew that. The moment he entered you noticed that the room was empty. He closed the door behind you two, locking it before he resumed his way to his bed, letting you fall on it.
Minho didn't wait for another second, his lips were on your neck this time, as his hands found your waist again. His lips were leaving butterfly kisses all over your neck before he finally found a spot he was satisfied with.
His lips latched onto the soft skin and he sucked on it. Gaining a sweet moan from your lips. He grinned, finally letting go of the skin, admiring the dark hickey that was forming.
"You're okay with this, right?" He asked, just to be completely sure, before you two went any further.
Your nod was more than clear, however that wasn't enough for Minho.
"I need your words, Princess." Those words went straight to your core and it needed a lot of self-control to not cum untouched.
"Yes, please." You didn't need to tell him twice. He removed your shirt from you, his hands immediately unclasping your bra as well as his lips found their way onto your chest.
Soft butterfly kisses littered it at first, before his mouth found one of your nipples catching them between his teeth. At first he softly licked it, watching goosebumps erupt all over your skin before he softly bit it, again pulling a moan out of your throat.
Your sweet sounds were going straight to his member but he tried to control his desires, wanting to prep you enough for him.
You could feel yourself getting wet and it only got worse the more he continued. You needed to feel him inside of you, but you could barely form thoughts, let alone words. Everything felt so good for your touch starved body. And it didn't help that Minho was so perfect at everything he did.
He stopped torturing your breasts, continuing his journey down, a soft kiss on your belly-button and you felt his teeth on the hem of your pants. His hands skilfully opened them before he pulled them down and threw them away.
Just as he had done with your shirt and bra.
"Already so wet for me. What a good little, Kitten." A whimper escaped your lips the moment you felt his hand on your inner thigh, moving closer to your heated core.
"Minho." You managed to moan but the boy only smirked as he moved your drenched panties aside to let one finger graze your folds. He was only rubbing them slowly, but this was enough for you to arch your back already. His fingers felt so good, you could barely wait for them to finally enter you.
"You want me so bad?" He looked up at you as you nodded as much as you could. "I will need your words, Princess."
"Yes, please Minho-..." A moan escaped your lips as his finger entered you. Your hands found the blanket behind you, as you had nothing else to hold onto.
He moved his finger slowly at first but the moment he felt you losing your mind his pace picked up, hitting all the right places.
You were so close to your release when you felt a second finger entering you. You pushed your head into the mattress, trying to ground your thoughts but everything felt so hot. You could barely wait any longer.
"I'm so close." You whined which only made him pick up his pace.
"The cum for me, Princess." Seconds passed after his sentence before your orgasm came crashing down on you. He helped you ride it out until he pulled out his fingers, licking them clean.
"you taste so good." He chuckled.
"You made such a mess, only because of my fingers?" You blushed. "Let's see what a mess you'll make for more." He knew he prepped her enough so he finally got rid of his clothes as well, letting his member finally out of its confinement and you understood why he had to prep you so good.
His member was a sight to behold and you could feel yourself getting wet again only at the sight of it.
He got on top of you, pulling a condom out of his drawer before you stopped him.
"It's fine, I'm on birth control." You needed to feel him inside of you, without a condom.
"Are you sure?" He asked, wanting to be completely sure that you were okay with this.
"Yes."
He threw the pack of condoms away, not wanting to waste another second on them before he connected his lips with yours again.
The kiss was as messy as the first ones but this time you could feel him positioning himself at your entrance.
He broke the kiss, his eyes finding yours. Analysing if there was any doubt before he pushed the tip in slowly.
Your warm walls immediately welcoming him.
"Fuck, you're so tight." He moaned as he slowly kept pushing his member deeper. You were holding onto him, your nails surely leaving marks on his back as your back softly arched. You needed him inside of you, all of him.
He finally bottomed in, giving you a moment to adjust to his size before he pulled out nearly completely only to push it inside a little more forcefully this time.
His groan and your moan mixed as he kept a fixed pace. Your back arched as his member hit your sweet spot every time he pushed it back inside of you. His hands holding your hips so that he could burry himself as deep as possible.
You felt so good around him, your pussy clenching around him as you felt yourself getting closer.
One of his hands moved to your clit, softly rubbing it as he thrust into you, making you scream his name out in pleasure.
You were happy it was so nosy outside, or everyone would have probably heard you two. It was impossible to contain your moans.
"I'm close." He notified, hid hold on your waist tightening.
"Please come inside." You moaned, wanting to feel the warmth of his cum inside of you, to fill you up with it.
"You you want me to fill you up with my cum?" You didn't have to look at him to see the grin.
"Such a needy, whiny brat. If I had known this we would have done this earlier. So good for me. You better take it all. Every drop." He chuckled as his thrusts got sloppier and harder.
You were close, your pussy clenching around his member which made him groan.
"Clenching so good around me, such a good girl."
This only threw you over the edge, your pussy clenching around him as you arched your back, your orgasm hitting you like a truck for the second time.
He helped you ride it out, his thrusts not faltering as his pace only picked up, indicating that he was getting closer to his release.
You felt overstimulated, your pussy was burning as you tried to match him but there was no need, as he came only a few moments after you had.
His hot cum filling your walls as he held your hips still to push his member as deep inside of you as he could.
His back was arched as he threw his head back, your pussy so tight around him that it felt as if it was squeezing every drop out of his members.
"So greedy." He chuckled as he pulled out, admiring the mess you two had made.
"I told you to take it all, Princess."
He teased as he noticed some of his cum sliding out of your hole, only to push int inside with his finger again, making you moan in the process.
Your clit was extremely sensitive and every touch felt burning hot.
"Min, mhh." His eyes focused back on your fucked out state and he grinned, pulling his finger out of you and in front of your lips.
"Taste our mess." You immediately parted your lips taking his fingers into your mouth and licking them clean.
"What an obedient Kitten."
You were exhausted at this point, hoping that he wouldn't make you leave now, but it seemed as if he had no intention to do so.
He pulled you closer to him, covering you both with a blanket.
"Rest for now, let's clean this mess up later." A soft kiss was placed onto the back of your neck as you back was pressed to his chest, his hands secured around your torso.
It didn't take long for your eyes to shut and for you to fall asleep next to him.
No one had ever made you feel as good as Minho had, and you were certainly hoping this wasn't the first and last time you did this.
#skz au#skz fanfic#skz scenarios#stray kids au#stray kids fanfic#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#stray kids minho#stray kids lee know#stray kids lee minho#skz minho#skz lee know#skz lee minho#skz smut#stray kids smut#mdni#18+ mdni#lee know smut#minho smut#lee minho smut#lee know x reader#lee know x you#minho x reader#minho x you
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Chapter Two: A United Front
The Hunger Games AU
Katniss!Jacaerys x Peeta!Reader
Chapter One
First of all, thank you very much for all the support that the first chapter had! It made me really happy to see every comment and reblog, it really motivated me to continue writing 🥰🥰
Please let me know again what you thought of this chapter in the comments, as always, likes and reblogs are appreciated too 💖💖
My inbox is open so I'm always willing to read your headcanons, opinions and answer your questions.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
Jacaerys was irritated. Firstly, because it is evident that you had already begun to play in front of the cameras since when you two arrived at the train station you did not bother to hide your tears, you probably thought that perhaps this way you could get a sponsor or else your strategy was to show yourself weak and like an easy prey to later fight in the arena. That's what Sabitha Vypren, from District 7, had done in her games.
The second reason for his irritation was his uncle. Larys hadn't said a word to him since before the Repair or even now that they were on the train heading to the Capitol. This was supposed to be the time for them to prepare strategies together, for Larys to give them advice on surviving the arena, but his uncle seemed more focused on enjoying the pork chops and mashed potatoes. Jacaerys was also eating, he was ready to eat everything he could to gain the most muscle mass before the games started, but now and then he would stop and stare at Larys hoping that at some point his uncle would decide to speak.
“So, what do we have to do for Jacaerys to win?” you asked, breaking the silence and making him choke.
You were the first to react, you quickly got up and started hitting him on the back until he finally spit out the piece of meat. Effie looked at him with disgust.
"Are you okay?" you asked, looking at him with concern and now caressing his back. Jacaerys noticed how his uncle looked at the two of them with interest. He had no idea why, neither of you two had done anything extraordinary, he made a fool of himself by choking and you ran to save him…Well, I had to admit that your action was striking, someone else would have let him die by drowning to have one less competitor in the arena, not only that but you just said that you wanted to help him win. It didn't make sense… Unless it was another strategy to gain his trust only to then stab him in the back in the arena.
"I'm fine," Jacaerys responded, putting his hand on your arm to stop your caresses. You blushed and moved away from him as if you had been burned by his touch. “What do you mean by that you said earlier?” he asked you once you sat back down.
"You have a chance to win, Jacaerys," you declared as if it were obvious. Evidently, he couldn't hide his confusion because you continued talking "You know how to hunt and you have good aim. Every time my father buys you squirrels he says that the arrow always hits the eye, you never ruin the body" the boy felt the heat rise to his face at your words and he was sure he was blushing because suddenly you seemed to be stopping yourself from smiling. "So if either of us has a chance of winning it's you. I'll probably be one of the first to die but I think I can be of help in the interview" you said the last thing looking at Larys.
Jacaerys felt his appetite disappear. It didn't sit well with him to hear you talk as if you were already resigned to dying. "She's got a good right hook," he said, looking at his uncle. He couldn't let Larys give up on you quickly, if you lost his interest then he surely wouldn't bother trying to help you win. "Lucerys told me. She hit a boy who was bothering him and gave that idiot a black eye."
"Jacaerys, I won't be able to win just by hitting people. Besides, there are surely tributes even bigger than that boy, they will attack me before I can even land a hit on him."
For a moment he had the image of an unknown tribute mercilessly attacking you with a sword before you had the chance to defend yourself. His stomach fluttered at the image of your broken body.
"You, on the other hand, can attack from afar with your bow. If you hide well you can have an advantage" you continued and went back to eating without realizing that your companion was looking at you with a frown.
Your attitude was irritating him. You should have been trying to impress Larys by saying what other things you can do but instead, you keep talking about him. It did not make sense. It had to be a strategy or maybe you were thinking it was a lost cause to try to win the games by having him as a district partner and his uncle as his mentor. You probably believed that Larys would choose to put all the chips on him just because he was his nephew. That made him furious.
"She can lift weights. I saw her lifting sacks of flour"
You suddenly dropped the cutlery sharply on the table. "Enough, Jacaerys," the annoyance was evident on your face and in your voice. "Don't try to make me feel good just out of pity, please. I know I'm going to lose. Everyone knows that." "You made a gesture with your hand to let you continue talking when you saw him open his mouth." Do you know what my mother told me when she came to say goodbye to me? There may finally be another winner in 12. She wasn't talking about me" you said looking into his eyes.
Everyone knew that your mother was a witch but Jacaerys never imagined that she would be one with her own daughter. It was cruel to tell you that when perhaps it could be her last talk. She should have faith in you. Or at least give you the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to comfort you but he had no idea what to say. Besides, he didn't think his uncle would be happy if he saw him being nice to you. He would tell her that he was weak and that he didn't come here to make friends.
So Jace settled for looking into your eyes, hoping that you could somehow understand that he didn't want you to give up.
"Oh, darling, that's horrible," Effie said, breaking the tension between the two of you, placing a hand on her heart, she seemed genuinely moved. "I think you should try hard to win and prove your mother wrong."
You didn't say anything, you just gave a sad smile to the district escort. A moment ago Jacaerys felt bad for you but now he can't help but think that maybe you only told your last conversation with your mother to gain Effie's sympathy and get her to talk about you to her friends in the Capitol. He hated analyzing everything you did but he couldn't let his guard down with you if he wanted to go home to his brothers. He was sure that if Lucerys was with him and could see what was going on in her mind he would tell him that he was being paranoid. But maybe it wasn't wrong for him to doubt you, Jace thought when he noticed that Uncle Larys seemed to be evaluating you with his gaze.
“Let's start to see who his competitors are,” Larys finally spoke, ending the dinner.
Jacaerys was relieved to see that your stylist had put you in an outfit just like his, at least if he ended up making a fool of himself at the parade he wouldn't be the only one. You're wearing the same shiny leather boots and the same full-length black leotard with the cloak that flutters in the wind. The only difference between the two of you was that your suit seemed closer to your body, highlighting your curves.
As you are taken to the lower level of the Renewal Center, Portia, your stylist, along with her team can't stop talking excitedly about what a sensation you two will be. Cinna, Jacaerys' stylist who came up with the idea of setting their outfits on fire, seems tired of the congratulations. Jace couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he, too, was nervous that it wouldn't work and would end with them dead. You didn't look nervous, which shouldn't surprise him considering you were probably used to fire since he worked at the bakery.
Once they arrive, they basically find a giant stable. The opening ceremony is about to begin so the stylists are having their tributes ride into carriages pulled by a group of horses. Cinna and Portia lead you and Jacaerys to their carriage, both of them carefully arranging the posture of the two of your bodies and your cloaks before stepping aside to talk something between themselves.
“What do you think of the fire?” Jacaerys asked you in a whisper. He tells himself that he's just talking to you to distract himself from his nerves.
“At least we're not naked,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. Jacaerys grimaces as he remembers those poor tributes who had to parade naked covered in black dust. It had happened years before his uncle became a victor, the only reason why everyone knew about that incident was because whenever the games approached on television they did a recap of the best kills, the best dressed as well as the worst deaths and the worst dresses. In the latter, those poor tributes always appeared.
“Uncle Larys definitely wouldn't have let that happen. He probably would have hit them with his cane as soon as they told him that idea,” Jace said with a small smile as he imagined his uncle hitting the stylists and scolding them. You must have imagined the same thing too because you started laughing. Your laughter was contagious so he soon joined you, feeling his nerves disappear for a moment as well as the heaviness in his shoulders. Cinna and Portia will probably be upset that you two lost your posture but neither you nor Jacaerys seemed worried about it.
"If something goes wrong I promise to take out your cloak while you take out mine," you said trying to get serious again but from the corner of your lips, it was evident that you wanted to smile.
"Deal," he agreed with a small smile.
Jace's calm demeanor disappeared the moment he saw his uncle. He tensed as he watched him walk towards the carriage, ready to feel his eyes judging him and scolding him for acting like a child. His uncle was right to be angry, now the other tributes would see them as weak and stupid.
"I want you to present yourself as a united front," Larys said, surprising his nephew.
"What?"
"If you want to win then you have to do everything I say" the mentor reminded them "So you will go out, hold hands, and greet the audience" In his tone of voice there was no room for discussion but Jacaerys had many questions. He couldn't do any of them because when started playing the opening music Larys headed for the exit.
"Come on, don't look so upset. It's not like I have scabies," you nudged him. If he hadn't been focused on seeing the tributes from District 1 in his glowing robes then he would have noticed how the sparkle in your eyes seemed to have dimmed.
It's not many minutes before you and Jacaerys are near the doors. As the District 11 tributes leave, Cinna appears with a torch. You and Jace don't have time to back away when the stylist turns on both of your cloaks. The three of them sigh in relief when they see that it worked.
“Remember head up and smile. Oh, don't forget the most important thing, hold hands. They're going to love you!" Cinna quickly tells them before getting out of the carriage.
Jacaerys hesitates before taking your left hand. Unlike him, you don't hesitate to intertwine your fingers with his. You give him one last smile before his carriage enters the city. The crowd seems alarmed at first when they see the fire but then they soon begin shouting both their names. Jace can't help but feel overwhelmed by the feeling of everyone's eyes on him so he focuses on staring at the screen. For a moment he is breathless, the two of you look wonderful, especially you look brilliant as you wave and blow kisses to the crowd. In the low light of twilight, the fire illuminates both of your faces and your cloaks seem to leave a trail of flames behind. Cinna got what he wanted and gave you both a chance, no one would forget about you two, you really made a sensation.
You squeeze Jacaerys's hand and remind him under your breath to “Smile.”
Then he tries his best to give his best smile and starts greeting you. Someone among all these people must have wanted to sponsor him. This was an excellent opportunity to win over the audience and he had to take advantage of it. He remembers the words of his uncle Larys, so he raises their joined hands, making the screams increase even more. When they enter the City Circle they lower their hands but neither you nor Jace try to let go. During President Snow's speech, Jacaerys is distracted by feeling you caress his skin with your thumb, he tries not to think about it too much, he tells himself that you must be nervous and you do it unconsciously. Luckily it doesn't take long for the national anthem to be heard and the carriages travel around the circle for the last time. Jacaerys notices that the screens seem to show you two more than the other tributes.
He finishes confirming that it was not his imagination once you arrive at the Training Center and get off your carriages. As Cinna and Portia remove their cloaks, you and Jacaerys notice the angry glances of the other tributes, especially Royce Baratheon, the burly boy from District 2 who volunteered, and his district partner Agatha Durrandon.
Jace notices that the two of you are still holding hands so he lets you go.
"The flames suit you well and you have a beautiful smile" you declared with a smile making him blush.
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#thg au#jacaerys fic#jace velaryon x you#jacaerys targaryen#the hunger games#jace velaryon#prince jacaerys#jace velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon imagine#the hunger games au#jacaerys velaryon x you#house of the dragon x reader#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys x reader#hotd x reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys x you#jacaerys x y/n#hotd x you#hotd x y/n#hotd au#hotd fanfic#hotd fic#house of the dragon x you#house of the dragon#hotd fanfiction#larys strong#hotd#thg
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little black dress (e.m.)
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: Eddie is completely oblivious that you've been crushing on him, getting mad when you dress up for a party but has no idea it’s for him.
contains: 18+ minors DNI drinking, language, angst, fluff, eddie being a dick, smut: oral (m&f receiving), fingering, unprotected PIV, semi-public sex, please let me know if i missed anything!
word count: 2.5K
a/n: inspired by the lyrics “i don’t want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you could take it off” from Dress by Taylor Swift. this is different than my other Eddie posts and i’m kinda nervy about it so i hope you like it xx
nav
~~~~~~
Steve Harrington’s birthday bash was going to be the party of the year, everyone already knew it. and to say you we’re excited would be an understatement.
“are you picking me up tonight, Ed?” you ask your best friend, sitting across from him from the restaurant table.
“for...?”
“the party for Steve? the one Robin’s been planning for over a month...”
“right! yeah i’ll pick you up at 9.”
“perfect.” you throw a fry at him and laugh as it gets caught in his hair before tossing a $10 bill on the table to cover the bill. “see ya later.”
you rush home, giddy with excitement knowing you have the perfect outfit planned for tonight. you've been aching for your best friend to notice your feelings, but he seems to be oblivious. if this little black dress doesn't get his attention, you're out of ideas.
you forced Nancy and Robin to go shopping with you for hours the weekend prior to this party, searching for the perfect thing to wear. of course the girls know exactly why your wanted to buy a new dress, Nancy was the one who pointed out your feelings to begin with. you never even realized it yourself, but once she said something you couldn't stop thinking about it.
since then, everything he does seems to give you butterflies. the constant nicknames like sweetie and pretty girl. always checking in on you, making sure you ate or got enough sleep. how could you not fall for him?
you spend the evening dolling yourself up. even painting your nails a new shade of red to match your lipstick. feeling hot as fuck and confident, if Eddie didn’t want you surely someone else would.
but that’s not what you wanted. you wanted him.
9 o’clock rolls around and you hear a familiar horn in your driveway. you look in the mirror one last time, taking a deep breath before smiling at how good you look.
slipping on your shoes, you open the door and walk confidently to the van. but your confidence slowly sinks away as soon as you open the door to the vehicle.
“what are you wearing?” he asks, looking you up and down with a strange look on his face before you sit in the passenger seat.
“a dress? why is something wrong with it?”
“just not something I expected from you I guess.”
what the fuck does that mean?
“oh.” you look out the window, avoiding any possible eye contact with him. the girls swore he was going to love the dress and now you’re stuck thinking it was all a big mistake.
you’re quiet the rest of the drive, but he doesn’t seem to notice. you hop out of the van quickly when you arrive, closing the door and adjusting the dress that has ridden up your thighs when you sat down.
“ready to party?” Eddie asks, catching up to you at the door.
“yeah.” you just don’t have the desire to attempt to flirt with him at the moment, clearly he doesn’t want you.
“you goin’ home with someone tonight or do you want a ride later?” he asks as soon as he sees the crowded party, knowing you’d surely be separated from him.
“what?” why the hell would he think you’d go home with someone other than him?
“well you know, you’re dressed like you want to go slut around or something.”
“okay, i’m going to pretend you didn’t just fucking say that to me. asshole.” you walk away from him, mumbling the last word. as if you weren’t embarrassed enough that he didn’t like seeing you in the dress, now he thinks your intentions were to get laid tonight?
well… maybe they were. but you wanted him to fuck you. not some random drunk person at the party.
“Y/N!! you made it!” Robin waves you down from the kitchen, holding out a red cup to you and you smile at the familiar exchange.
“you look hot!” Nancy praises and you feel your confidence growing again. “how’d he like it?”
“he didn’t. said I look like I want to slut around.”
“what the fuck?? no, you look sexy as hell and it’s honestly his loss!” Robin continues you hype you up, making you smile.
“it’s whatever. I guess I was wrong to think he might actually like me back.”
“aw babe… don’t be sad! c’mon, let’s go dance with the birthday boy!!”
and you do without hesitation, refilling your cup before taking one of Nancy’s hands in yours as she leads you into the living room. the couches all pushed to the side of the room to make a makeshift dance floor.
“happy birthday Stevie!!” you call out to him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug.
“thanks! you look nice!” he shouts over the music after giving you a kiss on the top of your head, something you’ve grown accustomed to. he’s like a brother to you, someone who always tries to protect you like he does with literally everyone else.
you continue dancing with your friends, but you can’t help but look around for Eddie. you spot him across the room, almost glaring in your direction but his eyes never meet yours. instead they’re locked on Steve, who’s holding your hand and twirling you around.
“i’m gonna go get another drink.” you lean into Robin’s ear to inform her, she nods, and you weave through the crowd to the kitchen. a familiar presence lurking behind you causes you to turn around.
“hey Eds.” you sigh, still annoyed with him but not wanting to be. how was he supposed to know your feelings if you never bothered to tell him? “having fun?”
“I guess. wish you’d come hang out with me but you’re grumpy.”
“i’m not grumpy. you were just being a dick.” you defend yourself, getting worked up once again. he rolls his eyes and it takes everything in you to walk away without causing a scene. “whatever Eddie. come find me when you’re finished with whatever this is.”
you go back to the group, taking a drink from your cup before dancing somewhat provocatively with the girls again. Steve shows up with shots and passes them around, making all of you cheers before pouring them into your mouths.
tipsy and now unfazed by Eddie’s reaction to your dress you begin dancing and singing with Steve, putting his hands on your hips as the two of you move to the popular song from the mix Robin made specially for him.
you turn your head to look in Eddie’s direction, seeing him immediately looking away from you and at this point you’re over his moping and want him to come dance with you. you never could stay mad at him for long. you wander over to him and hold out your hand, wiggling your fingers as if to say, “you better take my hand boy”.
but he doesn’t, and it pisses you off even more. you refuse to put up with his attitude any longer, not when you’ve been pining for him for so long. forcing his hand into yours and pulling him into a random bedroom, you lock the door behind you.
“okay what is going on??”
“nothing.” he mumbles, and you call him out on his lie.
“bullshit! what the fuck is your problem?”
“my problem? what, so i’m just supposed to sit and watch you flirt and dance with Harrington all night long in that fucking dress?!”
“Eddie, I bought this dress for you.”
“what?” his face softens and then he looks at you with instant regret. “oh my god. and I called you a slut. i’m so sorry I didn’t mean it at all and—” everything clicked right there.
“were… were you jealous?”
he’s silent. and your answer is right in front of you. had it been there all along and you were just too busy stuffing down your feelings to see it?
the confidence you had before the party comes back to you, feeling almost happy that you made him jealous.
“so here’s what we can do, Eds. we can pretend this isn’t happening right now and go back to the party… or you can take this dress off of me. your choice.”
he doesn’t hesitate, pushing his lips against yours with a force you didn’t expect.
“you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting to do that.” he says, looking at you as if to see if you still want this.
“ditto, baby.” you immediately reach for the button on his jeans, but your eager fingers cannot seem to get it undone and you groan with frustration.
“aw do you need help, sweet thing?”
“if you don’t shut up and just take your fucking pants off Eddie I swear—”
he cuts you off with another kiss, “always so mean to me.”
“you love it.” you tease, palming at his growing bulge through the jeans he still hasn’t taken off.
he hurries to take his pants off, finally, stumbling when they get down to his ankles and he kicks them off somewhere in the room along with his shirt.
you look over him, practically drooling when he walks closer to you. “you gonna help me?” you ask, reaching for your zipper and he smirks.
“what if I want you to keep the dress on?”
“this dress cost me a whole paycheck. you are going to take it off carefully and not make a mess on it.”
“yes ma’am.” he grins ear to ear, smashing his lips onto yours again while reaching his hands behind your back and pulling the zipper down. as the dress pools around your feet, he takes a step back to admire you, mumbling a “beautiful” before lifting you up and tossing you on the bed.
he’s quick to join you, laying on top of you and you grind yourself up on his boxer covered bulge, earning a groan from his lips. the sounds he’s making turning you on even more. he begins dragging kisses down your body from your lips to my stomach. he stops just at your panty line, you sit up slightly waiting to see his next move. he continues leaving little pecks, right over where you’re soaking through your panties, making you squirm.
“Eddie.” you groan, making eye contact with him.
“what do you want? tell me.”
“please touch me.” you whine, so desperate.
“touch you where?” he teases more, making you groan again. “here?” he asks, kissing the inside of your thigh. you whine, making him move on. “or here?” he kisses the fabric, right over your sensitive bud, receiving a moan in reply.
“hey! i don’t think your attitude tonight allows for you to be such a tease.” he chuckles at your words, yanking your panties down to leave you completely naked. a needy mess underneath his touch. his fingers part your folds, the cold metal of his rings making you clench around nothing.
“completely soaked… did I do this to you?” he smiles, running his fingers through the sensitive area. his fingers play with your clit, making you moan loudly, not caring if the entire party can hear you over the booming music. he plays with it between his fingers for a moment, before removing them and replacing it with his mouth.
“oh god, Eds! yes!” you cry, feeling him sucking you, swirling his tongue and gently bringing one finger into your hole. he continues, adding in a second finger after a moment. you continue to be vocal, making him pump his fingers faster. you whimper in pleasure, grinding against him to get more. “baby i’m so close!” you yell out, making him suck harder and you let go, finishing all over his thick fingers.
“good girl.” he whispers, licking you one more time before removing his fingers from you.
panting, you bring yourself to your knees and reach your hands over to remove his boxers, pulling them down and smirking at how hard you made him. he begins to lay back onto the mattress as you look up and make eye contact, licking just the tip, making him moan.
“please.” you smile knowing he’s just as needy as you. you lick from the base to the tip before taking in as much of him as you can without gagging. bringing your hand up to stroke the rest as you move your head around him.
“holy fuck- just like that baby.” his hand finds its way into your hair and he takes a handful of it, strong but not forceful. you continue, sometimes removing him completely to lick the tip before taking him in again.
you remove your mouth to suck just the tip and stroke his whole length with your hand, but he pulls away before he can finish. you look up confused.
“don’t wanna cum like this baby, wanna cum inside you.” you gasp at his words, feeling yourself dripping down your thighs again.
you move down to lay your head on a pillow as he follows, laying on top of your body and kissing your swollen lips. he makes his way to your neck and you can’t help but moan loudly as he sucks on the sweet spot behind your ear.
“please Eds, need you in me.” you whine, and he finally begins to slip inside, your walls clenching as he does. he brings his lips to yours once again, kissing you though his thrust.
“fuck baby, so tight.” he moans into your ear, “not gonna last long.” but he continues, making you feel better than anyone else you’ve ever been with.
you cry out as he pushes into you harder, his thumb finding your little bud again. “cum Eds, please baby. cum for me.” and he does, sputtering his full load into you, bringing you closer to your own release again.
“holy shit Eddie! i’m- i’m so close.” you bring your hands to his back, scratching and no doubt leaving long red marks all the way down.
“c’mon pretty girl.” he pushes you, rubbing your clit faster and you feel the familiar knot in your stomach right before you finish again, crying his name as loud as possible. he pulls himself out, still rubbing your swollen bud slowly until you push his hand off of you.
“so…” he whispers after a moment, lying beside you on the mattress.
“so…” you repeat, trying to catch your breath.
“did you mean it? you really bought that dress for me?”
“couldn’t think of anything else that would get your attention.” you smile, rolling over to face him.
“hun, I have been trying to get your attention since I met you.”
“you’ve got to be joking.” you laugh, smacking his arm playfully.
“I guess we were both worried about ruining our friendship, huh?”
“I don’t want to be your best friend anymore, Eds.” you kiss him one more time before he can say anything else. you stand up and slip your dress back on, moving your hair over to one side and motioning for him to zip you up.
“wh- where are you going?”
“we are going home. and tomorrow you’re taking me to breakfast.”
“oh yeah? what are we doing at home?” he smirks, and you laugh in response.
“I guess we’ll decide when we get there, won’t we?”
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie stranger things#eddie x reader#stranger things fic#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fics#eddie munson fluff#eddie x you#eddie munson smut#eddie munson angst#eddie x y/n#eddie munson x y/n
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Future Milf, part two.
part one!
paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.
summary: after the incident in the teacher's lounge, you start to avoid melissa who is willing to know what happened and trying to get things back to normal.
warnings: just a little angst but trust me, we have a happy ending!
author notes: This is a little rushed, but I hope you all enjoy this second part 🤍 I also wanted to thank the beautiful people who are sending requests for Mel, they are amazing and i'm already working on them! And don't worry, feel free to send any idea that comes to mind. It will be an honor for me to turn them into reality.
tags: @esposadejoyhuerta @gweninred @moistblobfish
English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes!
The truth was that Melissa was completely disoriented, her brain trying to process what had happened in the last seven minutes. You acting like that and apologizing, leaving the room as quickly as possible made her worried as hell.
All she wanted was to comfort you and know what was really happening. There were a lot of doubts in her mind, to be honest. Had she done something? Or said something? The way you couldn't look into her green eyes was so strange..
Everything between you two was great until today, and then it all suddenly fell apart at lunchtime? That made her feel a little paranoid.
“Melissa, are you well? Are you hurt?” Barb asks.
“I don't know,” she said, staring into nothing, worrying her friends, “I just need to check on her.” The redhead gets up and runs to start looking for you.
“MELISSA! WAIT!” the entire Abbott crew screams, but she completely ignores it.
She stops in front of your classroom and notices that the door is locked. The lights are off, but Melissa knows you're in there.
“Sweetheart, please let me in,” she knocks gently, “I am not mad with ya. Don't worry about it, I just want to know how you are.” The older woman adds, almost begging for you to open the door.
Locked inside your classroom, you were sitting on the floor. Curled up hugging your knees, trying to find some comfort while crying. The whole situation was so fucking stupid, of course. But it still left you overwhelmed and on the verge of an anxiety attack.
So lending Melissa the future milf t-shirt made you completely lose your mind? Wow, you really were a stupid person. Stupid. That word stuck in your brain and made you cry even more.
Hearing your quiet sobs made the redhead's heart break into pieces. The thought of her doing something that made you hurt was utterly painful. The truth was that Melissa would blame herself for the rest of her life if she had made you feel bad in any way.
“Hon, c'mon. Let me—” she started.
“Don't. Melissa, please. Just go away, I need to be alone,” you interrupt her, hoping she would understand that you didn't have the strength to say anything else.
Before walking away, she whispers loud enough for you to hear. “If you need anything, you know where to find me. But please, promise me you'll be okay.” The redhead said trying to wipe away the small tears that threatened to fall from her face.
“I'll be fine. Now go.” You growl, unaware that your words have fully gotten to her.
—
It had been a while since Melissa changed her mood so quickly. She had learned to control her emotions, thanks to you, who helped her notice that it was okay to show them from time to time and it wasn't shameful at all. But at that moment everything seemed useless.
Her legs were shaking slightly and she kept tapping her fingers on the desk, while trying to focus on correcting some of the children's homeworks. It was clear that Melissa was almost having a huge panic attack.
Ashely, who was now scrolling through her cell phone boredly after making sure the students were doing their activities calmly and in silence, noticed the sudden change in the redhead and her eyebrows raised in confusion.
“What’s the matter, boss? You seem a little quiet since lunch time. Which is strange ‘cause earlier you were all excited and—”
The older woman rolls her eyes. “Nothing happened. I'm fine,” she responds, clenching her teeth, “everything is ok, kid.”
“Are you sure? I know we’re not that close, but if you need to vent, I’m all ears.” The girl shrugs.
Melissa's eyes widen, her aide was really willing to give her some advice? Normally, Ashley didn't tend to be very serious. When she tried to help, the girl always ended up saying things that were a bit nonsense. But this time, she was here ready to be a shoulder to lean on.
“Y/n..” she started but quickly corrected herself, not quite ready to confide the crush she had on you to anyone else than Barbara. “Today, a strange thing happened between me and a friend that honestly left me completely confused.”
“Oh. Do you have any idea what might have happened?”
Melissa stops for a moment, trying to get her head to work and think of a reason that could explain what had happened between the two of you.
“I-I can't explain it properly...everything was normal between us and when lunch time came...” the teacher stuttered, “she could barely look at me and when I told her to act like a real adult and tell me what was happening, she panicked and ran away.”
“After that you were able to talk to her?”
“Kinda, but she told me to leave her alone.”
Ashley gives her a pitying look, she knew who Melissa was referring to. Anyone who works at Abbott would know. “I'm sorry this happened boss, but I'm sure things will get better between you and her. Just give her a little time.”
Melissa nodded and smiled. “Thanks for the advice, hon.”
“Anytime boss, anytime.”
—
Changing my life with the wave of her hand.
Nobody can deny that there's something there.
There.
Running my hands through her hair.
Both of us thinking how good it can be.
Someone is speaking, but she doesn't know he's there.
The melody of Here, There And Everywhere by The Beatles echoed throughout the kitchen directly from the small radio on the balcony, while Melissa prepared dinner.
This was one of the many songs she always wanted to dedicate to you, the redhead dreamed of dancing with her arms around you, after a busy day at school while this song played. Just the two of you, enjoying each other's company.
Was it quite cliché? Of course it was, even for the one and only Melissa Schemmenti. But to be honest, she didn't care how it sounded.
The older woman was so in love with you that she thought of endless romantic scenarios every day. After what happened today, every one of them seemed distant. But she still had a simple hope within her.
“Watching her eyes, and hoping I'm always there,” she sings passionately, while cutting the tomatoes perfectly, “I want her everywhere, and if she is beside me. I know I need never care, but to love her is to need her everywhere.” Melissa closes her eyes for a moment, thinking about you.
On the way out, she looked for you in the Abbott parking lot but was unsuccessful, she was waiting for a message from you, saying that you had arrived home safely like you always did.
But you didn't send her anything.
A feeling ran through her body. It was as if the redhead was losing the most precious thing in her life. Desperate, Melissa picked up her cellphone that was leaning on the living room table and went to check on you. Screw the advice Ashely gave earlier, she couldn't wait anymore.
Hon, are you feeling better? I hope so. By the way, did you manage to get home safely?
Sorry if I sound desperate, but I need to know if things are ok.
Y/n? Please answer me.
Her heart breaks into pieces when she sees that you just viewed the message and didn't even make the effort to reply back. For fuck’s sake, what had she done that was so serious? Nothing made sense anymore.
Just a few blocks away, you were lying on the couch and drinking an entire bottle of vodka, pretending like you didn't care about not responding to Melissa's messages. It was immature, but it seemed to make sense to you. Since this whole milf situation was a complete disaster, ignoring her seemed right.
Of course, inside you felt like a monster, knowing that the redhead didn't deserve this. But what you could do?
“I’m ready to open another bottle and listen to a two-hour-plus loop of Chamber of Reflection,” you say, making Ava sigh.
The principal had stopped by your house hours ago to check on you and when she saw the miserable state you were in, she decided to stay there for a while. And tried to comfort you (in the most Ava Coleman way possible.)
“Y/N. Come on, you can't act like Schemmenti doesn't exist. If you keep doing that, she'll soon break into your place to find out what's going on,” she comments, “just like an episode of a soap opera where the greatest absurdities happen in an exactly dramatic way.” Ava finished her sentence while painting her nails a shade of red. The act catching your attention.
Red. It reminded you of Melissa.
Yeah, this was being harder than it seemed.
“Shut up, she won't come after me,” you said it like it was just another one of the stupid things Ava used to say.
“Yes, she will. And y’know that very well.”
—
The next day, Melissa sat with her arms crossed at the table she shared with Barb and you. The redhead stared at the small tupperware in front of her, last night she made what she knew was your favorite dish: pancakes. She was anxiously waiting for you to show up in the break room, but that didn't happen.
Keep calm, Schemmenti. She will appear soon. She won't ignore you.
“Dear..” the kindergarten teacher whispers and she snorts, trying to change the subject, disguising how tense she was.
“What’s so interesting out there?” Melissa asks as she notices Janine, Gregory and Jacob looking at each other with strange expressions after spying in the window.
“Nothing.” Jacob is the first to respond and the couple agrees with him, swearing that there was nothing interesting outside.
She laughs humorlessly, the history teacher simply didn't know how to lie.
“C'mon, kiddo. You guys look like you've seen a ghost.” The redhead gets up from the table and approaches the three, squinting to see anything out of the ordinary and when she does. Her breathing hitches.
On the sidewalk, there were you and another teacher, who she recognized as the art teacher. The woman was happily chatting with you and leaning too close to Melissa's chagrin.
Ms. Evans was know for her big crush on you, she was always fighting with the redhead to have your attention. And now that Melissa was being ignored by you, this bitch thought she could have you all to herself? No way.
“YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” she yelled coming down to get some satisfaction from you.
The sound of angry footsteps caught your attention, it was clearly that they belong to who you had been avoiding since yesterday, Melissa.
The wish was for the redhead to pass straight by without noticing your presence there. But instead, she approached and with a certain force grabbed you by the arm, taking you to one of the far corners of the building.
“Melissa! What the fuck?” you said.
“So while I was worried to death there in the staff room because you didn't talked to me since yesterday, you were here talking normally to that idiot!” the older woman's tone was altered, you could clearly hear the jealousy in her voice, “Had fun with your new best friend?”
“She’s not my best friend. We were just talking,” the nonsensical accusation makes you roll your eyes, letting out a mocking chuckle. “Melissa, stop acting like that!” you shout and she loses her temper even more.
“You suddenly act like a bitch and I’m the one to blame? What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/n?” she growls, fire in her green eyes.
“I dunno, a lot of things I suppose,” you retort coldly.
Melissa sighs when she realizes how tough she was. “Look, I don’t want to be an idiot. But please tell me what I did, so I can fix it.”
“We have nothing to fix between us, Schemmenti.”
“What? Are you really going to ignore it and pretend like none of this is happening?” The redhead asked in disbelief.
“Trust me. It’s better this way, for both of us,” you mumble, walking away from her, leaving an upset Melissa behind.
—
After the ‘argument’ on Tuesday, Melissa and you barely crossed paths at Abbott. And when you bumped into each other in the hallway, both grumbled and went back to your own ways.
The redhead and you were fighting the need to put the damned pride aside and throw yourselfs into each other's arms, and finally apologizing. But you were too stubborn for that and it was fucking complicated.
“This is stupid! Can you believe that Y/n started going to that coffee shop that's just a few blocks away from here just so she wouldn't have to face me at lunch? This whole thing is starting to irritate me.” Melissa tells to her best friend one morning.
“I understand that this situation is complicated, but don’t you think that both of you are exaggerating?” Barb asked carefully. Even she couldn't handle this situation anymore, it was disappointing to have to see you and Melissa acting like two children.
Ava who was listening to the conversation cautiously, decided to interrupt. “Schemmenti, haven’t you put the pieces together yet? Unbelievable.” She said as if it was something of small importance, making the redhead's eyebrows raise in confusion.
“Huh?”
“It’s so simple, I thought you already figured it all out,” the principal continues in a mysterious tone, making Melissa's head spin, “If it weren’t for this bullshit, you and Y/n would already be like two rabbits jumping on top of each other, if you know what I mean.”
The last comment makes Barb choke on her tea. “Ava, could you not be so specific about this? We’re in a school!” she scolds her.
“Whatever! It’s past time for her to know that Y/n likes her too. Even Janine and Gregory acted better than that!”
Everything around Melissa seemed to have gone silent. So was it true, the feelings were also reciprocal. A lot of questions surrounded her mind, why didn't you say anything? Why did you decide to pretend you weren't in love with her? Were you afraid of not being reciprocated?
“Why is she avoiding me then?” the redhead asks out loud, “that’s making me lose my mind. I just miss her.”
“Because of the t-shirt she lend ya. Mainly ‘cause of the last word printed on it.” That's all Ava says at that moment.
“A milf?” Melissa questions, still confused trying to think of putting the pieces together. “What does that mean? Is it something bad?”
“I was going to suggest you to google the meaning, but since you look like you're about to have a heart attack, I will tell ya,” she laughs and the redhead rolls her eyes, showing Ava her middle finger, “but don't be scared, it's a good thing, actually.”
“Alright..” the green-eyed woman whispers, still afraid of the answer, “so what does this whole milf thing means?”
“Mother I'd Like To Fuck. It also means that an older woman is super attractive.”
Melissa was left open-mouthed, her eyes blinking trying to process the explanation. So that was the damn meaning, well, she had to admit that was hot. “Wait... so Y/n..” she starts but there is a pause.
“Is in love with you and was scared when she saw ya wearing that t-shirt looking extremely hot, and preferred to stay away in case you found out what she felt.” Ava reveals it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, “What are you waiting for? Go find your girl, Schemmenti.”
—
Time passed slowly to Melissa's disgust and despair, making the poor woman sigh feeling defeated. As each second passed, she glanced quickly at the clock on her classroom wall, waiting for the afternoon to end.
After her students left, and the school day was finally over. She drove to your house — without caring about traffic regulations and rules — nothing else really mattered, she just needed to see you.
Sitting on the floor, while assembling a Lego set that simulated a beautiful bouquet of flowers — a gift you received from Janine and Gregory days ago, a lovely attempt by the couple to cheer you up — the sound of the doorbell ringing caught your attention. Making you stop your movements.
You furrowed your eyebrow in confusion, who could it be? Most of your friends were at different appointments at that time. So it certainly wasn't one of them.
“I'm almost coming! I just hope you’re not a stupid lunatic or some other ,” you grumbled, standing up as the sounds of the doorbell seemed more desperate with each passing second.
You opened the door and found Melissa standing there with her arms crossed, shivering slightly from the storm. “Hon, it’s so good to see you again.” She murmurs with a weak smile. Without caring if her voice sounds too desperate.
“Mel, what are you doing here? You might catch a damn cold like that.” You scolded her, pulling her into the house and locking the door again.
“I don’t care about that, I needed to see you. Actually we have to talk.” She responds taking off the black leather jacket that covered her body and hanging it where you kept your coats.
“We have to?” There is a little hesitation in the tone of your voice, all that courage and confidence have disappeared from your body. Insecurity taking over.
“Yeah, hon. We do.” She replied, noticing your nervousness, Melissa tries to comfort you, placing her hand on your shoulder and stroking it lovingly, showing that everything was fine. You smile for the first time in days in the presence of your beloved redhead.
She takes you to the small white sofa that was in the middle of the living room. “I know you were avoiding me because of that shirt. And I know you're in love with me.”
“What? Fuck, how did you figure all this out?” you whisper in panic, covering your face with your hands. Feeling vulnerable at the mercy of the red-haired figure sitting next to you.
A silence fell in the room, making you feel even more embarrassed.
“Ava told me those things earlier today. Hon, why didn't you tell me anything? That would have made everything so much easier.”
“What do you mean by making things easier? I don't understand.”
“I'm love with you too, idiot. I just didn't say before ‘cause I was insecure as fuck. But now, I know exactly what I want: you. No one else, just you.” She confessed with a smile on her face.
Automatically your body falls even more on the couch and you feel slightly dizzy. Closing your eyes slowly, trying to regain consciousness. “Sorry, I'm a bit nervous,” you respond. “It's too much to process. Jesus Christ.”
“Don’t be nervous, it’s me. Just me,” Melissa pulls you into her lap sighing as she smells your lavender scent again. “I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch the last few days. It was not necessary.”
“It was never your fault, I was the real bitch. You didn’t deserve to go through this just because of an irresponsible attitude of mine,” you say, resting your foreheads together.
“I think it's fair to say that we overreacted a bit,” the older woman smiles with her eyes closed. Feeling a slight courage run through her body, she asks you something. “Sweetheart?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?” Melissa asks biting her lip and slowly approaching, “I wanna do this since New Year's Eve.”
“Yes, please, Mel.” You beg wrapping your arms around her neck.
The moment her lips touched yours, it felt like you were in heaven. Melissa's lips were soft against yours. The kiss was calm and peaceful, both wanting to show all the love you felt for each other.
“You know, being considered a milf is an honor for me.” Melissa scoffs with a mischievous smile as you pull away from the kiss.
“Shut up.” You chuckle, cupping her cheeks.
“Make me,” the redhead teases, “please.”
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how seventeen would confess to you - pu vers.
-> pairing : svt pu × gn!reader
-> words count : 2.9k words
-> genre : svt members crushing on you, fluff
-> warnings : while make you giggle and kick your feet, sex implied in chan's part
-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !
-> masterlist | svt masterlist
hhu vers. | vu vers. | pu vers.
MOON JUNHUI - RUSHED
to me, he really has two different sides.
sometimes, he’s a goofball, joking along with you, making you laugh to the point you’re crying.
would 100% do something ridiculous if it made you at least smile.
he’s also very happy about the fact that the two of you have some inside jokes that only you understand and can laugh about (makes him feel like he’s special).
and the rest of the group would look at the both of you giggling like maniacs without understanding a word you said.
besides that, i think he’s very observant and knows a lot of things about you and your body language.
he would certainly notice the little changes in your mood by the way you act or talk, and he would be more than delighted to get you out of uncomfortable situations.
he loves it every time you rely on him for little things like opening a jar for you or getting things from the higher shelves, whether you could have reached them or not.
and all this feels so domestic that he doesn’t even quite realize how much he needs you until he’s about to go on tour again.
he’s spiraling every night, thinking about how he’s not going to be able to live without you being so far away and suddenly he needs to see you, even if his plane is going off in less than two hours.
“- Jun !? What are you doing here ? Don’t you have to go to the airport soon ?”
He was completely disheveled, his hair ruffled by the wind that also colored his cheeks and nose. And he seemed lost, as if he didn’t even know why he was there in the first place. But the moment his eyes found yours, it was as if the world around you two blurred out. Suddenly, he wasn’t thinking anymore, the only thing in his mind was you.
“- I- I had to tell you something.
- Well, you could have told me over text, you’re gonna be late !
- No, no, I have to tell you in person. It’s important, please.”
He sounded desperate, you had never seen him like that, never seen him so anxious. You simply nobbed, encouraging him to go on with his thoughts. Jun took a deep breath, but he knew that he had to say it right now. If you said yes, he’ll be the happiest man on earth, and he would hold on to the thought of you during his tour. But if you said no, at least, he’ll be away and would not have to see you everyday, he could let you process everything. Either way, it should end relatively well, even if he hoped for the first option.
“- I couldn’t leave without telling you this, and I know that I’m selfish to do it just before going away for months but I couldn’t find it in me to tell you before. You can ignore me all you want if you’re not okay with that but I hope you won’t because I need you so bad, I need you to be part of life for everything to be alright.”
A small smile was tugging the corner of your lips, having figured where his speech was going. You could’ve stopped him, but he was so cute, fumbling over his words, talking with his hands out of nervousness, his eyes focusing everywhere except on you. You leaned against the doorframe, listening patiently to his rambling.
“- And I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you Y/N… I love you so much I can’t even bear the idea of not seeing you, of not having you by my side everyday. And I know that you’re probably not feeling the same, we're supposed to be friends after all, and friends don’t dream about kissing each other, but if I have the slightest chance of bei-”
Jun’s next words died in his throat when you grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, forcing him to lean down, just enough for you to meet his lips. He freezed for several seconds, making sure that this wasn’t another crazy dream, but the way he could feel the tiniest movement of your lips against his definitely grounded him into reality. He let his own hands slide to your waist, closing the space between your bodies and finally kissing you like he fantasized about.
“- You’re an idiot Moon Junhui. You’re an idiot for thinking that I would turn you down, because I’m in love with you too. And you’re also an idiot for telling me just before leaving. I’m going to miss you even more…”
“i promise i’ll make it worth the wait, i’ll take you out as soon as i’m back.”
KWON SOONYOUNG - SMILEY
he’s a funny guy, really funny and you’re a funny person too so be prepared to always laugh when you’re with him.
he knows that no matter what he’s on, you’re going to follow him and he loves that you’re in the same mood as him.
act as if he’s annoyed everytime you tease him along with his members, but truly, he’s all warm inside whenever he thinks about how comfortable you are around the other guys.
bet that he would not miss an occasion to tease you either, finding you especially cute when you playfully hit him, with your cheeks all red.
will bicker with you about everything and anything, just like an old couple fighting.
the moment he really fell for you was when you offered him a little tiger plushie that he could hang on his bag for his birthday, saying it was nothing when it meant the world to him.
it wasn’t even that deep, he was aware, but it was so cute of you to encourage him in his little (big) obsession.
everytime you participate in his horanghae agenda, he’ll smile like an idiot.
i think that mario kart nights will be a regular thing between the two of you, always making stupid bets to challenge each other.
“- Kwon Soonyoung ! I warn you, if you do that, we’re not friends anymore !”
How hot you looked when you were angry didn’t deter the said Soonyoung as he hitted you with a red shell. Your scream of frustration made him burst into laughter as he drove past you and won the race a few seconds later. He didn’t even have the time to celebrate his victory that you were already pushing him on the floor, ready to take revenge.
“- You really are a little piece of shit ! Why did you do that !?
- Because it’s funny seeing you all mad about nothing.”
His cocky smile was soon wiped off his face when he noticed that you were picking one of the cushions of the couch, apparently ready to hit him without any regrets. Soonyoung grabbed your wrists just in time to stop you, not giving in when you tried to squirm out of his hold.
“- It’s not my fault you’re bad at this game !”
His snarky remark infuriated you even more, and you knew very well that he was doing it on purpose. It was obvious from the look on his face, but you gave in to his provocation anyway. You finally freed your hands, throwing the cushion aside and going to tickle his sides instead. Soonyoung couldn’t help the little giggles that escaped him, trying to wiggle away from your touch.
“- Ahah ! Please Y/N ! Please stop, I’m sorry !
- Not stopping until you beg my pardon !”
And you kept your promise, tickling him to no end, even straddling his lap to get better access to the exposed skin of his tummy. But as you leaned in, you finally realized how close to his face you were, your eyes zeroing on his lips. Soonyoung didn’t know who kissed the other first, he just knew that he didn't want to let go of you. Soon enough, you were forced to anyway, desperately needing to breathe. He held your gaze, and tenderly tucked a rebellious strand of hair behind your ear.
“- Please, tell me that it wasn’t just the spur of the moment. I might cry if you say yes.
- It wasn’t, don’t cry you big baby.”
The pout aborning his lips was really cute, but he didn’t let you focus on that, circling your waist with his arms, pulling you down on top of him. You gasped out of surprise, but quickly, you relaxed into his warm body, while Soonyoung buried his face in the crook of your neck, not once thinking about the fact that you were still laying on the floor of your living room.
“i may be a baby, but I’m your baby.”
XU MINGHAO - LONELY
he’s not very talkative at first, only greeting you when you arrive, saying goodbye when you leave and if he really needs something.
but he always makes sure that you don’t want something, or are uncomfortable (my sweet guy).
one time when the guys invited you for dinner, you sat beside minghao, and as the night went on, you found some common interests with him.
you ended up spending the whole dinner passionately debating with him.
he’s indeed a very smart man and it’s really interesting to discuss with him, even if you don’t always share the same opinion about things, he’s always respectuous and interested in what you think or say.
and that’s what minghao feels for you at first : respect.
he admires you so much, because you’re such a clever person, you’re doing a job you love and for which you worked very hard, and you also find the time to laugh with him too.
and even if you’re more educated on a subject than him, you never make him feel like he’s stupid, always explaining it to him in such a simple way.
and adding to that, you’re beautiful, breathtaking, which is not helping him to hide the crush he developed on you.
Minghao stood in front of his mirror, he was there for a good thirteen minutes, trying to recite the text he so carefully wrote. He spent all his free time perfecting every little detail of his confession, because he wanted it to be just as amazing as you were. And even if it has been almost two weeks since he finished preparing his speech, he couldn’t bring himself to tell it to you. Every time he saw you, it was as if everything else dissolved, the world around was suddenly blurred and the only thing in his mind was ultimately you.
That’s why he repeated to himself that he should practice. By now, he knew every word by heart, not needing to check the written text anymore. He spent hours and hours telling it to his reflection in the mirror, but it didn’t compare to what it was when you were in front of him, looking him in the eyes and smiling so brightly. Minghao took a deep breath, trying to convince himself that what he did was effective as he started over again.
“- You always say that you have a rational and logical mind, but still, you believe in ghosts, fate and soulmates. You always say that you don’t like romance movies, but still, you cry in my arms everytime we watch one. You always say that you don’t like it when people do something for you, but still, you always ask me for help. And I find all of that so cute. Because even if you’re the smartest person I know, it reminds me that you’re not coherent sometimes. And I’m not either. I have never been when it comes to you. Everytime you look at me, I feel like I don’t even know how to breathe anymore. You make me forget about everything except you. Since both of us are a little silly sometimes, maybe we could be silly together.”
He stopped, looking at himself and shaking his head in disappointment.
“- Gosh… This is so stupid, I am ridiculous…”
It’s only when he had finished talking that Minghao noticed you, standing close to the door. He met your eyes in the mirror, and they grew wide in surprise. For how long were you there ? Did you hear his whole confession ? And if it was the case, how would you react ? He felt his cheeks grow warm, and he nervously ran a hand through his hair.
“- You know, I don’t think you are.”
The puzzled look on Minghao’s face made you smile even more than you already were, unable to hold back your grin now that he was finally looking at you.
“- You’re not ridiculous. Try it out on me if you’re not sure.
- I… I just… Okay…”
And Minghao told you again, this time trying to look into your eyes, also trying to control his shaky voice. When he reached the last word, you stepped towards him, until your face was only inches away from his, one of your hands coming up to stroke his cheek.
“- That’s a lot better, don’t you think ? Now I can tell you how much I would love to be silly together.”
“it’s all i’ve been dreaming of.”
LEE CHAN - COMPLICATED
part time idol, full time comedian.
he’s so funny for real, and it’s what you like about him first, that he’s able to make you laugh so easily.
he loves to know everything about you, and he remembers even the slightest detail about everything that you love and don’t.
and that transfer in the bedroom because after some time, you fool around while being drunk and until there, you didn’t stop.
he knows you and your body like the back of his hand, and that’s quite practical as well as it is annoying because he can always tell when you’re in a good mood or not.
likes to make you discover the music he appreciates and encourages you to do the same.
has such sweet gestures for you, even if you’re just supposed to be fuck buddies and everyone can see how in love he is with you.
but it’s only because he wants more with you but doesn’t want to cross the already blurry lines of your relationship, or even worse, lose you.
that’s why he treats you like his girlfriend without saying that it is what he wants, and it's confusing and hurtful for the both of you.and if you want to get out of this situation, you’d have to take the matter in your own hands.
The more Chan spent time with you, the more he found himself unable to leave your side in the morning. That was his only unspoken rule : he could stay the night, but he would always go away before you wake up because he had “things to do”. And you respected that, that he needed to settle his own limits. But still, it hurt to find his cold and empty space in your bed every time, his smell still lingering in your sheets. You wanted him to stay, to really stay.
It hurt even more when you fell asleep in his arms almost every night. What was supposed to be only meet ups from time to time ended up being an everyday thing. When you came home from work, he was often already here, having cooked for you and ready to get all the stress of the day out of your body. And then, you drifted off in his embrace, with Chan kissing you all over your face. You craved all of that, you craved him, his presence, his affection, his love.
“- Chan… Don’t leave me, please…”
The boy jumped at the sound of your sleepy voice, turning around to look at you, still half naked. He wanted to stay, he really wanted to, but he knew that if he did that, he was going to fall even more deep, and he couldn’t stop it.
“- I-I can’t, I have to go.”
Chan tried to not let you hear how much his voice was shaking as he focused on searching his discarded clothes on the floor. He heard you shuffle in the sheets behind him, but he was not expecting your arms to sneak around his waist, your warm body pressed against his back.
“- I know you’re lying. Please, stay with me.”
The butterflies erupted in his stomach, but at the same time, he felt a heavy weight on his heart. Was this what he was thinking ? Or were you just emotional for some reason ?
“- Don’t do this to me, it’s already hard enough. If it’s like that, we better stop.”
Tears were prickling at his eyes as he tried to not melt in your hold. He knew he was going to harm you so much, that it would mean the end of everything but it was certainly better like that.
“- I don’t want it to stop. I want it to last forever. I-I think I’m in love with you…”
Your eyes were closed, as if it could help you forget what you just said. But to your surprise, Chan only turned around so he could hug you tightly. His head fell to the crook of your neck, and your eyes grew wide as you felt some tears soaking the material of the shirt you were wearing - his shirt, in fact. Your hand flew to his hair, grazing his scalp with your nails to get him to calm down.
“i think i’m in love with you too, i think you’re all i ever wanted.”
-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.
fill in this to be added to my taglist !
#kpop#seventeen#svt#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen fics#svt fics#jun#jun x reader#moon junhui#hoshi#hoshi x reader#minghao#minghao x reader#dino#dino x reader#lee chan#performance unit#seventeen performance unit
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childhood friends, daryl dixon.
summary: in which you reunite with your childhood friend, only for him to underestimate your value in the current state of the world.
warnings: fem!reader, surgeon!reader, typical twd violence, and not proof read atm.
notes: request from anon! i put a small twist on this request so i hope you enjoy! also i really need to start proof reading my work right away cause i feel like there might be tons of little embarrassing mistakes i haven’t noticed so let me know if that’s a common thing on all my ‘not yet proof read’ fics because if so i’m going to go back and fix them, ty bbies!
One thing Daryl Dixon still remembers about his life before the dead started walking, is his childhood best friend. The girl that he always went to when he was upset, the girl that always knew how to cheer him up, and that same girl that eventually moved away before the two of them started high school, leaving him heartbroken as her and her family drove off to go live in a small community far away from him, not looking back.
Whenever the memories of that girl cloud his mind, he feels pathetic, quickly reminding himself that she’s probably a walker now, having absolutely no memory of him or her own childhood.
However, the one possibility that sounded insane to him, happens to be the reality. That girl is you, who’s younger self hated her parents for ripping her away from everything and everyone she’s known since birth to move to Alexandria, but now is extremely grateful for them, as she has a safe place to stay in during the world going to shit.
“(Y/N).” A loud voice calls you from outside your house, causing you to walk downstairs and open the door. “Deanna, what’s up? It’s like three in the morning.” You sigh, leaning on the door frame, wearing fluffy slippers and a pair of shorts with a tank top. “We have a group that just arrived, some of them need medical attention and check ups.” The older lady explains, bring your attention to the group of people standing in the middle of the road with Aaron. “Alright, one second.” You nod, grabbing your jacket off of the coat rack and quickly putting it on, then following Deanna towards the group.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is (Y/N) (L/N), she’s our nurse and she’s going to do routine check ups on everyone.” The leader of your community explains to the new residents, causing everyone to turn to face you. “Um, I’m gonna check the children first.” You say, a warm smile on your face, hoping to relieve the tension between everyone. “(Y/N)?” Someone says, causing your eyes to follow their voice, being greeted by the sight of someone you recognize. “Daryl?” You gasp. His eyes are wide as you run up to him and hug him, “Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in forever! I didn’t even know if you were…” You don’t finish your sentence, assuming he knows what you were going to say. “Yeah, same.” He breathes out, warming up to the hug and wrapping his arms around you. “You know her?” Another man cuts in, causing you to pull away from Daryl. “She was my friend way back, before high school.” He explains to the other man, “Sorry, who are you?” You ask. “Rick, Rick Grimes.” The man, who you now know as Rick, hesitantly replies. “Oh, nice to meet you. These are your children, yes?” You glance at the young girl he’s holding and the older boy that’s next to him. “Yes.” He nods. “Okay, Do you mind if I take them to the infirmary and check for bites or injuries? It’s a typical procedure here.” You explain. He doesn’t respond. “You can of course come with us.” You add, hoping it convinced him, “Yeah, sure.” He agrees this time. “Okay, I’ll see you soon.” You softly smile at Daryl before turning around, “Come with me, please.” You instruct Rick and his family. “(Y/N), let me know if there’s any issues.” Deanna stops you before you start walking, a concerned look in her eyes. You raise an eyebrow, slightly confused at her worried state, “Of course.” You continue walking.
“Okay, Daryl, your turn.” You walk out of the infirmary room, gesturing to the man that’s sitting on the porch of the building, waiting for the other member’s of his group do get done with their checkups. “Mk.” He gets up, following you back into the room, closing the door behind him. “So, just sit here.” You tap on the chair in the middle of the room, “I’m basically just asking you questions about how you feel and checking your temperature, things like that.” You say your usually ‘speech’, something you usually do in hopes of comforting new group members. “Alright.” He sits down, watching as you shuffle around the room, grabbing a pen and clipboard off of one of the counters. “First question, do you have any bites or scratches?” You ask him. “That’s a stupid question. That’s why these people got you askin’?” He scoffs. You bluntly stare at him, “It’s procedure.” The man shakes his head, “Naw.” You check the ‘no’ box on the paperwork. “Okay, common symptoms of being turned include a fever, so I’m going to check your temperature now.” You plsce your clipboard to the side, getting off of the small stool and walking towards a cabinet filled with medical equipment. “Ya even a real nurse?” Daryl asks. “I went to university, then graduated, then became a top surgeon, so yeah, I have most of the skills to help people.” You roll your eyes, turning around and sitting back down on the stool in front of him. “Ahh, big shot.” He hums as you check his temperature. “No fever, you’re hopefully, not infected.” You sarcastically smile. “Now, you and your friend Rick are coming on a supply run with me tomorrow morning, so go get some sleep.” You stand up and gesture for him to leave the infirmary. “Your coming on a supply run? I don’t think you should, it’s dangerous.” He gives you a weird look. “I think I can handle it.” You laugh his comment off. “Based off the rest of these people, y’all don’t stand a chance if these walks come down, not without my group.” He adds. “I can handle myself. Some of the other residents might not have as much skill as your group, but I assure you, I got just as much experience as you. I’ll be a great addition to the supply runs. Anyways, I usually do them, at least before you guys got here.” You glare at him, roughly closing the medical cabinet. He doesn’t say anything, worry and doubt in his mind as he leaves the room, shutting the door and leaving you alone to clean up.
“Morning.” You walk up to the two men that are standing just outside of the gate, talking to each other in low whispers.“Good morning.” Rick turns around when he hears your voice. You nod, not bothering to make any more conversation, considering your last conversation involved Daryl undermining your capability of navigating the state of the world outside of Alexandria. “Close the gates.” You yell back to the lady on watch, you think her name’s Rosita. “Got it.” She starts closing the gate as the three of you walk away from the safe haven, heading towards a nearby town.
“We need more baby food, for, uh, Judith.” You mumble, reading the list on the small crumpled paper you’re holding. “Daryl.” Rick’s panicked voice sends shivers down you spine, causing you to look up with a concerned look on your face, greeted by the sight of a small group of walkers inching closer to you and the two men. “Shit.” You huff. The three of you quickly get your knives ready, moving away from each other and towards the walkers. While Rick and Daryl deal with the rest of the dead, you deal with about five of your own. Plunging your knife into each of their skulls, you quickly kill all of them, leaving blood splatters all over your clothes. “Am I capable of going on supply runs, now?” You turn to face Daryl, opening your mouth to continue, but quickly running towards him when you notice a walker push him over and fall on top of his body. “Rick!” You call the other man’s name, who just finished dealing with another walker, to get his attention. He turns around and is quick to follow you towards the other man. However, you get there before him, standing over the Walker and jamming your knife into the back of it’s head. Letting out a tired sigh, you wipe some more blood off of your forehead, then shoving the body of the walker off of Daryl. “Thanks.” He manages to breathe out. “Mhm.” You nod. You know it’s stubborn to still be pissed about what he said to you when he almost got eaten alive, but considering you saved his life despite his lack of faith in your survival skills, it felt too ironic.
Walking up and down the aisles of the small and abandoned grocery store, Daryl follows you around like a small puppy. “Why are you following me around? Go follow Rick.” You shake your head, tossing another box of old pasta into your bag. “Rick’s in the other store, I wanted to shop in this store.” Daryl scratches the back of his neck, attempting to create an excuse to walk with you, or really, follow behind you. “Sure.” You roll your eyes. “Hold this.” You abruptly stop and pass your bag to Daryl, the man taking it from you and watching as you stand up on your toes to reach a different box of pasta that’s on the highest shelf. “Here.” You drop the pasta box down, Daryl managing to catch it with your bag. Standing back down, you take the bag back from him, before moving to walk down the next aisle. “I’m sorry, alright? I know you’re capable of handling yourself, I just hadn’t seen you in so long and all those other residents have barely even seen the outside world since moving to that place.” He huffs, grabbing your arm before you can continue to sulk around the store. “I haven’t seen you in, I don’t even know how long at this point, and one of the first real conversations we had, involved you making a snap judgement and regarding me as useless aside from being a nurse.” You look at him, your tone harsh. “I’m sorry, how many times I gotta say it?” Daryl scoffs. “I want you to admit that you were wrong.” You cross your arms, holding them up your chest, your mouth pressed into a firm line. “Fine.” He pauses, “I was wrong, you’re not useless, I never even meant to say that.” He continues. His voice is low like usual, but his facial expression tells a different story, a soft look in his eyes with a small but genuine smile forming. “You’re forgiven.” You hold yourself back from smiling, “I guess.” You shrug. “You’re more stubborn than me, huh?” He laughs. “Always been that way, remember when I didn’t talk to you for a full day because you took my ice cream?” You playfully bump his arm with your arm, “Oh, I remember.” He says.
Daryl never thought he’d see you again, but now that he’s standing right in front of you, the two of you laughing and making jokes, he can start to feel those certain butterflies he felt in his stomach from when he was younger. The butterflies that only showed up whenever he was near you.
#this doesn’t exactly follow the show plot cus i wanted to change some things#this is mad long but it was hard to fit everything into one fic#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#twd x reader#the walking dead x reader#twd fanfiction#the walking dead fanfiction#the walking dead fanfic#the walking dead fic#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl dixon x y/n
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Hair
wc:; 1.4k
tags: black reader x katsuki, newly established relationship (still trying to keep up the illusion for your partner), black reader doing her hair, emotional reader, Katsuki being the rational calm boyfriend, fluffy, cute ending.
a/n: i skimmed barely proofread sorry for any mistakes, hope you guys enjoy. reblogs appreciated.
“I can come over tonight?” Katsuki asked on speaker of your phone.
You two spent everyday together since he had confessed to you by shoving flowers into your hands and running off before you had a chance to respond in slight shock.
“Uh I’m busy tonight sorry.” You said watching yourself in the mirror studying your scalp distracted.
“Okay what about tomorrow?” Katsuki grunted unhappy he would spend time away from you.
“Tomorrow I'm busy too, i can’t hang out this weekend.” You said eyeing the thin black plastic bag filled with beauty supplies sitting on your vanity.
He frowned, you always told him about upcoming plans you had. At lunch always rambling about whatever you wanted and him listening with small grunts and nods. You didn’t mention anything before about plans.
“What are you doing?” He asked. Not wanting to pry so early into a relationship and scare you off. He had plans to make you his permanently but he was nosey.
“My hair,” You answered honestly.
“What do you mean your hair? It takes that long?” He asked confused.
“Yeah, it does. I have a lot of hair and it takes a lot of hours sometimes a couple of days.” You admitted with a sigh already dreading the process.
Katsuki sat there on the other side of the phone with a small sigh of relief. You weren’t blowing him off with anyone else, just your hair. He had no idea about black hair but he knew he cared about you and that meant this was important.
“Do you need help?” He offered making you silent in surprise widely blinking at the phone.
The man that would tell his partner in the field to fuck off when he asked. Was readily offering you his help.
You let out a small laugh, “I do but I don’t think you know what that entails. It’s a really long process and it’s tiring. Im okay though thanks for asking.”
He just wanted to see you. After spending every day together for a month, he doesn’t know if he could go 3 days.
“Alright the offer still stands if you change your mind. Don’t tire yourself out.” He sighed and you both said your goodbyes.
You fiddled with the ends of your hair with a huff.
“Let’s get this over with.”
~
You wanted to ram your head into a wall. Staring at half your head being braided, 10 hours down and probably another 7 to go.
Your back hurt, your arms hurt, your head hurt it was not ideal. Not eating all day and getting irritated at everything you were in a mood.
Throwing the rat tail comb from your hands on the floor you flopped onto your bed in tears needing a break.
Your phone began buzzing, face still in the mattress you reached around til you found it and pressed answer button.
“Hello,” You answered muffled
“Hey how’s it going?” Bakugo asked
You sniffled pulling your head up tears running.
“It’s fine.”
Bakugo heard how upset you were causing his forehead to crease, “What’s wrong baby?” in a softer voice.
“It’s nothing it’s just my hair and i’m tired and cranky and i haven’t eaten all day. I’ve only done maybe half of my head and i want to stop.” You said through tears.
“Hey, hey please stop crying it’ll be okay.” Katsuki said trying to soothe you through the phone but it wasn’t working. Noticing a twinge in his chest at the sound of your soft sniffles.
You left out small huffs trying to control your breathing, “Yeah…sorry I should go you don’t want to hear me crying. Sorry to bother.” You realized you were probably scaring away the one guy you did like with your hysterics.
“No I didn-“
“I have to go thanks for calling.”
Katsuki stared at the phone feeling his stomach sink.
~
You cried until your eyes were puffy and reluctantly went back to braiding your hair. You were so impatient and tender headed but you would not spend 200+ dollars on box braids.
After about an hour you heard a knock on your door. You opened it to your boyfriend with a bag of takeout and one from the pharmacy.
You yelped in surprise slamming the door just as fast as you opened it.
Katsuki was very confused and kind of hurt at your reaction.
“Y/n! What the fuck come on.” He yelled from the other side of the door.
Your face held such embarrassment, hoping this was a figment of your imagination.
Your boyfriend was NOT here when you looked like a hot mess.
Your non-black boyfriend at that.
This is a nightmare.
“What are you doing here!” You yelled back through the door.
“Baby you were crying and I haven’t seen you in almost 2 days!"
You groaned, “You can’t see me like this! you have to go home.”
He grunted in annoyance, “You better open up. Im not leaving when you were crying.”
You were silent waiting for him to go home and he wasn’t budging. With a sigh you opened the door peaking out at him.
“Are ya gonna let me in?” He asked with raised blond eyebrows and pretty crimson eyes.
You opened the door and stepped aside.
“What’s wrong why are you slamming doors and crying?” He asked looking down at you as he entered your apartment.
You slowly closed the door behind you and leaned back against it.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” You admitted thankful that you didn't blush noticeably.
“Baby like what.” He sighed dropping the bags on your coffee table and bringing you in close.
Your head fell into his muscular chest, smelling his cologne.
“My hair.” You mumbled into his shirt.
He pulled back and used one hand to push back your hair to see your face. Your hair is in sections and a half-braided mess.
“I like you and your hair. So will you calm down please?”
“Really?” You asked with teary eyes looking up at him.
“Yes, I do.” He reassured his hands gently holding you, his main goal to calm you down from this tired anxiety driven mood.
“Okay.” You mumbled head falling back into his chest.
He rubbed your back, “What’s going on?” asking again.
“I stayed up all night and im not even halfway done. I have a headache.” You mumbled in tears.
Katsuki led you to the couch and made you take a seat.
“Take a break. You look hangry and I brought food.” He said propping you in his lap and handing you takeout.
You finished your food and leaned your head in his neck. Your headache stopping. He was right as usual, you were hangry.
“I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face that was mean.” You said wrapping him in a side hug.
His hand rubbed the side of your thigh with a light kiss on your nose.
“It’s okay, ya didnt break my nose with the door slam.” Katsuki said making you laugh.
“Can I?” He asked gesturing to your head and you nodded.
Katsuki’s thick fingers touching your blow dried hair.
“It’s soft.” He said with mild surprise, “Like really soft.”
You laughed, “Yeah I do have soft hair, but so do you.” Reaching up and lightly tugging on his spiky blonde hair. His hair was getting longer in the back. It may be because he loves your hands all over him and especially his head, giving you more hair to yank. Just a theory of course you would never say to him.
He grunted, “You feel better?”
“Yes…” You nodded as he smiled knowing what he was gonna say
“Crying over the being hungry?” He teased showing his canines with his smile and you rolled your eyes.
“Shut up.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Are you discriminating against a black woman?” You squinted but Bakugo had heard that before.
“I just came over here with food to stop your crying and got a door slammed in my face.” He said with narrowed eyes matching your own.
“Uh fine.” You sighed, “Can you not be a good boyfriend so I can call you a bigot.” Your hand trailing up his stomach under his shirt, wanting skin to skin contact.
He pinched the inside of your thigh making you yelp in pain in response. His head deeply buried into your neck just enjoying your touch
“Ow…”You whined rubbing the bruised spot.
#mha#mha imagines#mha scenarios#my hero academia#mha x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugo katuski#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki x y/n#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki fluff#bakugo fluff#bakugo x black reader
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Käärijä's Helsinki live concert, mid-speeches translated
Okay as promised I will try to translate Käärijä's speeches of his concert. I am doing this as training for my English exam so I will make mistakes. Also Käärijä speaks in Finnish spoken language, and it has more slang than written language. So the translations are a polished versions of his speeches. Please correct me on my grammar mistakes! :D
---
"Good friends! Welcome to Käärijä's journey!
---
"Just like that. There is a lot of you. I heard some people have been waiting for a week in there. That requires skills. Thank you for that. Good lord give your self a big applause for this."
"Käärijä in Vantaa. From Vantaa. A sold-out Black box (the concert)."
"Nobody would have believed this. Not you, not me, no one. But accidents happen to everyone and now one happened to Käärijä.
"Amazing, let's continue."
(applause)
"Oh don't start yet, I'll take my jacket off. (A friends name?) take my jacket off."
"This leather is a bad choice for the outfit cause there are flames and everything. Leather against leather.
(The Finnish word for skin and leather is nahka so it's a fun play with words).
"A sip of water and we will continue."
"But one question! Did we come here to have fun? (Crowd cheers) Okay then we will continue."
---
"Thank you"
"Hey! Now there is this thing, and I am hoping that this friend who is coming here has drunk water. So that he won't go into the pyres, because today this one guy has a bachelor party."
(The guy in question appears, and Käärijä speaks to him. The guy wears a monkey suit)
"And I bet. And I bet you don't get any further. This will remain as a bachelor party. And you can start looking for a new friend, a new companion. I hope they are watching this."
"Hey! Here we have a monkey. And so am I."
"This job that we are doing here is really a job of a monkey. (With monkey they mean kinda silly or stupid). Glad to see someone else in this suit and next we have the song Kiertävä sirkus."
"You can go wild but don't go into the flames."
---
"Thank you! (Speaking to the monkey guy). I wish you nothing but the best and good luck."
"If everything went badly because of this, then you can move into my tiny apartment. You are always welcome."
"Okay take that monkey away."
(Speaking to the crowd again)
"It makes me glad. (He said "vetää hiljaiseksi" which means "pulls me silent", but idk how to translate that well)."
"People are wearing green and some people don't have clothes at all on them, but that is fine."
"So, have you been enjoying yourselves huh?"
(crowd cheers)
"Well yes. So I actually went to Eurovision, I don't know if anyone watched it, but-"
(cheering)
"Yes that was, that was like a basic gig in Nivala. Yeah we did that out of the way and- now we are here. So I appreciate all of you so so so so much."
"This is not self-evident, so many people want to see this circus monkey, I don't- I mean I am thinking what is wrong with you all, but it's nice that you are all here. Yeah just kidding.
"I also want to thank you for everything, you guys have made this thing, not me I just made the song. I didn't do much more than that. You guys created this around Käärijä- well I am not sure what sort of chaos this is, but you guys are guilty for that. Thank you for that."
(Crowd cheers)
"And then I would like to respect this guy called Antti Tuisku. " (Antti is a very popular and beloved Finnish singer).
"Sadly I need to tell you that Antti had much more better things to do, than come to Käärijä's concert."
"He is somewhere in Spain, with an oiled chest. Macarena- or what is that song."
"But we are trying to give our respects to him. He is apparently quitting his career, good for me, he made me some room. Thank you Antti."
"Antti was Finland's best live performer, notice "he was". Who is it now? I do not know."
"But- I was thinking we could do it for you guys (his and Antti's song "Auto jää".) We can respect Antti and- this sounds like a funeral speech. He is alive. And is doing well. Is doing better than ever."
"Antti, if you are watching this somewhere, I don't know somewhere. But if you are not watching then all the best for you. See you in Spain."
"Let's get going."
"You can sing along! I have no idea how these lyrics go, but let's try."
---
"Thank you."
"Pity that Antti didn't come."
"Antti did not come and you can't do anything about it."
(I don't know how to translate the word "onpa" but he says that a few times. Basically a word to start a sentence)
"I don't know, this makes me speechless. (the sound is not working) And now my headset is starting to get broken. I am absolutely messed up over here. I am not drunk but otherwise I'm messed up."
"There is- hey (points into the crowd) you put me messages about that hat, didn't you? Yes. Think about this, there is this one person who made a- I don't know how many weeks or months it took you to make that- that hat. Hat. First they were flexing me like "Look at this hat" and I was like oh that is kinda cool "Do you want this?".
(The person starts to point at the hat and ask does Käärijä want it)
"Why would I take it, it's yours!! Dear lord- no I can't- maybe later."
"Quite a hustle and bustle."
"Shall we continue still?"
(Crowd cheers)
"Yes we will continue- I am trying to look if there are any- all of you are my friends. And that much I want to say that welcome to Käärijä's family."
(Cheering)
"Even if you don't want to, now you are a part of Käärijä's family, because you came here. You have sold your souls to Käärijä.
(Cheers"
"And I hope everyone respects each other here, because otherwise I will come there and no one will have fun anymore."
"Because there are small family members here, so I hope they too will see something. So if there is a little Lassi somewhere in there, then take that Lassi and carry him so he could see too. Or then they can come here 10 years later."
"I feel like that 5 year old Lassi is as tall as me. Or what was its name. But I guess-"
"Okay then we will do a few new songs. We released this mixtape and decided to do those songs as well. I am kinda terrified already, (looks at a paper on the floor) and I went to look what were the names of the songs."
"Are they- Are these the songs? Well I guess there is no other choice but to do these."
"Are there anyone who bought that mixtape?"
"Well they did not sell that well but- that is why I am not even wearing a shirt on."
(A pink guy whispers something to him)
"What?"
"Is it the wrong song? That was the wrong song."
"What was it?"
"Well it was Mic mac."
"Sorry for that, I am still kinda in Liverpool, but well just ignore that."
"Let's play Mic mac then."
"If someone knows this legendary dance, you are allowed to dance."
---
"There is a mini Käärijä. Hello."
"That is cool. Is that my missing bolero? That was- you never returned it. But that's okay, it is yours now."
"Who else do we have here. What is that, a Pokemon card, a Bulbasaur- so many gifts here again."
"You guys are- a finnish flag- yes I know where we are."
"Someone came here "Really, Käärijä can't remember. We should show him that he is here in Finland, and no more in Liverpool!"
"Draw me a tattoo."
"Now you are- I will come there at some point. You are- you are- you are going hard over there, there is absolutely no sense in this."
"Dear lord."
"Does anyone else want a tattoo? I have the equipments over there."
"When this career in music starts going downhill, I was thinking about- well I guess I need to have a tattoo shop then, because so many want to take one."
"Alright, let's do more new songs then. Is that ok?"
(Crowd says yes)
"Well this is the first time we are doing these live, so give us some air and mercy. We are a bit confused, but that's the spirit."
"Let's go."
---
"Thank you."
"That went surprisingly well. A bit of confusion, but that is okay. Forgive me."
"And then there would be this "Morgan", has anyone heard it?"
(cheering)
"I can tell you, yesterday when we were practicing it- it was horrifying to watch. Let's hope it is today, just as horrifying to watch."
"So let's go!"
---
"Thank you (starts laughing)"
"Guys, you should never present a song you learned yesterday."
"But that went quite well, didn't it?"
"Yeah, the same thing was with Eurovision. I learned the lyrics a day before the show, and it went well!"
"Hey it is absolutely amazing. Life ain't so serious. It's good to go wild sometimes, but like nicely, no stupid things."
"I also want to say hey to the back row."
(cheering)
"Käärijä's concerts rarely have a back row, but now there is one."
"That is very nice, welcome here. I hope you can see something, I'm kinda a tiny short guy."
"People have been talking about how tall Käärijä is. So you know what?"
"I don't know."
"That's it."
"Let's go to the next song!"
---
"That kind. That song."
"Hey, a question. Always interesting a question like this."
"How many people knew about Käärijä before UMK?"
(Crowd answers)
"Not everyone could have know no. Where have you been those days? When Käärijä sang lonely gigs? In Pudasjärvi, in a corner of a pizzeria. Haven't seen you guys there."
"How many of you, Käärijä was not really known, before UMK?"
(Crowd answers again)
"Well now it badly seems like, people are trying to get pity pints to Käärijä. Same guys who said "Yes I have listened" raised their hands in "I haven't listened"."
"Well it is what it is. That I will never know. Numbers will know."
(The person with a tattoo sign is waving their sign)
"You are still swinging there. We should take a hotel room later, now take it easy. We will make that tattoo."
"Wow. Are there- How many made a bolero?"
(People raise their hands, one guy is jumping, Käärijä points at him)
"You. The same crazy person again here. I can never get rid of you. Now you have some kind of a teddy bear with you. What gig was it- it was Lap- Lappeenranta?"
"This guy stole the whole show."
"You got paid and everything."
"Yes well- yes no wonder Kärtsäri is not driving around with a fancy car when this one guy takes it all (the money)."
(The guy takes his wig off)
"Put that potty back you looked better in it."
"Hey I want to- there is a bolero. I first of all want to thank you- I am usually not the one to say thank you, I am that kind of a person who is not thanking everyone. That's not who I am. Thanking everyone is more of Antti's thing, not mine."
"But I want to say, to all the families that there here. Are there any families here?"
(Crowd answers)
"I assumed at first of course that "Yess there are families here". And nobody came. Let's just say, the smallest family members welcome here, and I hope parents know where they just took their kids. And I try to behave accordingly, today. This is the last time."
"This is the coolest thing that has happened to me, honestly."
(Crowd cheers)
"There- there in Liverpool the fact that there were 15 thousand people and 250 million people watching from TV, this is much cooler. Thank you for that."
(Crowd cheers)
"Even if I lie a lot, I am not lying about this."
"Okay shall we continue?"
"Hey, will any shirts come off? Next up is Paidaton riehuja (shirtless rampage) so will any come off? There! There went one."
"Remember at Käärijä's concert we are all family, so you can take off your shirt no matter gender or who you are. Of course be aware of the smallest family members, so they wont get trauma."
(Points at the crowd)
"What kind of a duck costume are you wearing?"
"You have come to the wrong concert, no but let's go."
---
(Käärijä goes near the crowd.)
"Thank you"
"Like that."
(Someones money drops)
"Your money dropped here."
(A little kid in a pink dress comes next to Käärijä)
"You- oh goddaughter even came here. Go fast to your mother or you'll drown there (in the crowd)."
(People give him stuff. Käärijä leads the kid back)
"Are these for me? Thank you. Amazing. (girl's name maybe?)"
(Käärijä goes back to the stage)
"I'll go back to the stage, I didn't go back home like some of you thought."
(Someone in the crowd shouts something, I am not sure what)
"It will come, it will come. It is the next one actually."
"Let's see. First time ever I had to do a set list. Because there are like 16 songs here."
"I am not sure what these songs are, but here they are."
"What are these songs? Do we even have time to do these all? Hey, before Urheilujätkä, there will be Hirttää kiinni."
"Is that okay?"
(He asks "Hirttääkö jengillä kiinni? Hyvä niin minullakin", not sure how to translate it right.)
---
"Kärtsäri's concert haven't had this kind of a feeling in a long time."
"Old man's pump is starting to fail, I hope our first aid is ready. Okay no that was a joke, no need to worry."
(Watching fan signs)
"What is there? "Greetings to mom and dad" my parents? Do you have something to say to my dad? "Cha cha cha, hirttää kiinni ja Mic mac" very well... "
"That is a cool sign, I need to give you my respects. My apartment is full of drawings, and shoes and socks and... I sleep on top of all the fan made things... and I don't have the money to move to a bigger apartment yet, but maybe someday for sure."
(Points to the crowd)
"Why are you jumping over there?"
"Cool is your bolero, what is it made of? Sheets maybe? No, just kidding, it's amazing."
(Cameraman is filming a fan with a sign "Make a <3 if you think Bojan is hot" Käärijä sadly did not notice :( Love the fan for trying)
"Soon we will give you some cha cha cha. And and well not yet, I tricked you guys a little, but soon."
"Before that, I would like to ask some people- wait I need to check who I was supposed to ask here."
"Yeah my memory left in- I need to say that this journey from Liverpool- no actually from UMK to here has really been a journey of some kind. And you people have made me come through it. I must say that if people think that this kind of life is just some highlight and very cool- this is very cool yes, but there are a lot of dark sides into this."
But I must say that the moment I see so many people here because of me- Dear lord."
"If my mom comes here well that is normal, but this many people, I am not sure how many is just wow. Nobody probably bought their own ticket here. You won your tickets from some cereal packet or-"
"Hey next I would like to ask people here on the stage. First of all I am asking my friend, who is actually the reason why I am on music business at all, and I have learned a lot from him and he is a dear friend. We have been through some hardships but we are still friends and I hope it stays like that, so now with a big applause welcome to the stage Soni!!! (I think it was Soni)"
(crowd cheers)
Soni: "Good evening"
Käärijä: "Pay your debts"
Soni:: "Tomorrow"
Käärijä: "Welcome to the stage"
Soni: "Thank you thank you"
"And next I would like to ask, one friend, who we made the first Käärijä song with and my best friend. Who was with me in Liverpool as an interpreter but he didn't get to do anything cause I became so good in English. My English is kinda good nowadays."
"Yes yes mister worldwide here"
"Applause to Jesse!!!!!"
"And before all this I will go get this one shirt. Where is it? Here."
Soni: "Does anyone have lamps on their phones? Could we get those up for the next song?"
Jesse: "This is the moment"
"This is very awkward to wear this shirt on. But is e here, is uncle Jaska here somewhere? Sportguy himself."
"He is not. Hey now it looks cool. Are you ready before the big final? Let's go!"
---
""Well that was a journey."
Joni: "What a circus."
"Jesse over here has played hockey before. Can't believe he is here now. Well career didn't start on that area and Jesse is not doing anything in this area either."
"Hey a few songs left I hope you have all enjoyed. Tomorrow I will go to a vacation so don't try to contact me. I won't answer. Cause now Kärtsäri needs a vacation."
"A few songs left and then you can all go to home to sleep. Are you ready?"
"I'll go take my shirt of and then we will continue."
(Someone shouts take your pants off)
"Pants off? These pants are stuck in my skin. So they won't leave. If you didn't know I actually sleep in these."
"Journey has been hard and it has a prize and that we pay."
"Next we will have a tense atmosphere"
"So let's continue."
---
(Crowd shouts Cha cha cha)
---
"Thank you!!!!"
"Give a big applause to yourselves! Give a big applause to the dancers! And give a big applause to my pink friends!"
"Do you want it to play again?"
"DO YOU WANT IT AGAIN?"
"Okay let's do it, now everyone goes as hard as they can!"
---
"Thank you!"
"Dear god, thank you thank you thank you!"
"Now my tank is empty and I will go to a vacation. remember to take a break and have a vacation."
"I will remember this always, I don't remember anything from the Eurovision show but this I will always remember. Thank you!"
"And I hope we can take one family photo. Everyone here, YLE will shut the TV soon. Okay good, good. And you can lift our hands."
(Crowd is chanting "Winner! Winner! Winner!")
"Thank you! See you in the future and maybe somewhere else!"
"Thank you, thank you. Goodbye!"
---
And with that I have decided to never translate anything ever again. Why did I think this would take an hour max? Anyway I hope this was useful to someone out there. It was a fun protect and after this, my English exam better be a 10.
GOODNIGHT!!!!! <3
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LOVE SHOT - DOSE 4 <no, not Shin-won too>
synopsis 💉 Where jk becomes the part of an experiment where he wasn't supposed to take the love shot but ends up taking it in high dose and gets obsessed with yn by mistake
pairing 💉 YANDERE Scientist!jeon jungkook ft. Jimin x Scientist!fem reader
genre 💉 scientist!au , smut (minors DNI)
word count 💉 2,644
warnings 💉 kissing, profanity, jungkook is needy AF(as always), cock warming, unhealthy obsession, hella possesive, boobsucking, jungkook realizes something, what the hell jimin?
DOSE 3
taglist 💉 @aajjks @effielumiere @dearsullix @canarystwin @yourslut16 @imwithurmother @perfectlyfangirling @pnibts @bloodline1632 @hopeonysus @roundedreluv12 @jub-jub @maqsxi @kooscameras @jungkooksleftbigtoe13 @thatblena @yawnyanii @viridiphile @milkxgukk @outro-kook @puppiliciouslove @mata0-0mata @pk-jimin @jungchanie @ziraspells @twisted-loved @lunaofsun @inlovewithallmusic @sassyfoxunknown @teugiie @hsaranghoe @jjhmk @mryuyux @xxoverthinkerxx @fandems @hollyverday @ohmygodddsblog @fly-on-the-wall @lookformyvoice @slutforwwh @shakashakaa @meikoo @emochicksasukeee @dearly-somber
@mymomsaid-no @madnesstaking0ver @miyoung23 @outofst1le @jiminstreble @kanvis @k3lynn @imagine-this-motherfucker @dontcallmeelle @jkbabiey @1-in-abillion @bangmechanpls @uarmyhore @devils-blackrose @hrndez2008 @azur3s @erennjim @cherryunie @vynmin @fragmentof-indifference
You paced around your room waiting for Shin-won's call. With passing days, you saw less and less hope in the antidote when you noticed hardly any changes in Jungkook, rather he has grown a lot more fiesty, asking you to warm up his cock because "it hurts Y/N, can you please help me out?" Or let him suck on your boobs "to calm his racing mind and let him sleep soundly".
You were in a complex situation and you had no one to turn to except Shin-won who was working as a team. You had a long talk with Shin-won over call while Jungkook was asleep in the early morning.
You knew that if someone else got to know about Jungkook's situation, there will be unnecessary ruckus among your collegues, not to mention about the people who are waiting for you to mess up and seize the chance to drag you down, there were just too many hungry eyes looking out for your experiment to fail.
When you told Shin-won about Jungkook's health without going into the explicit details, he said that he had a good friend in States who is also a pharmaceutical scientist.
He said he'll try to reach her and then call you back. And right now you were waiting for that call.
The ring of your phone distracted you from your worries, "Hey! Did you contact her?"
"Uh-huh! I told ya she'll help us no matter what! Also she told me that she needs to check Jungkook herself."
"Herself? You mean she'll come here?" You asked him.
"Yep! She said she'll take the earliest flight and will be here tonight. I'll come over to your house with her." He answered.
"Okay that's great then, escort her safely from the airport."
"Sure!"
--
You had briefed to Jungkook about Shin-won and his friend coming over tonight to discuss about the solution for the love shot. Although Jungkook felt a little bit dissapointed that soon his reason to stay with you will be over, he still had to act happy for it.
When you opened the door, you greeted Shin-won and his said friend with a huge smile. "Hi, I'm Shin-won's friend Sucrose, you must be Y/N, nice to meet you." She forwarded her hand for a handshake and you returned the friendly gesture, "Yes I am and this here, is Jungkook, Sucrose come inside."
"I've heard everything from Shin-won and I will help you guys. From what I have gathered is that the suggested antidote didn't work on Jungkook? Am I right?" Sucrose asked as she took a seat on your couch.
"Yes you are." You answered.
"It was triple the safe limit?" She asked again to make sure.
"Yes, that's correct." You said.
"Alright I get it now, we need one more person to test the triple limit on." She suggested.
"WHAT??? Sucrose, we can't risk another person." Shin-won was bewildered.
She looked at him, "I'm not saying this for fun, it's been only few minutes since I'm here yet I can strongly feel how much Jungkook is trying to maintain his composure." She licked her lips and further added, "We need one more person so that I can confirm whether Jungkook is immune to the antidote or not, in that case we need to make a new antidote for him. There are many more possibilities and the only way to confirm it.. is to create another subject. You know the rule right? The more number, the less will be the error."
Jungkook sighed, "Y/N keeps chanting that all the time."
"Well, you're right Sucrose, I won't lie by saying that I have not thought about that but I just can't think of risking one more person." You said. "But if that's the only hope for us then, we need someone descreet. I can't imagine what will be the public reaction once they know about this, just the thought of it makes me shiver." You said anxiously.
"Then.. it has to be someone among ourselves, Shin-won, what do you say?" Sucrose raised her eyebrows.
"Huh? What??" He was caught off guard, "You want to test it on me? Me??" He asked with wide eyes.
"Yeah why? And the person you will see will be Y/N." She said in a straightforward tone.
"Wait! wait! wait!" Jungkook stood up all of a sudden, "Y/N is already busy with me, how can she handle one more? I'm against it! If that's our only way out, why don't you be the person he sees first, Miss Sucrose?"
"I very well might be that person Mr. Jungkook but I can't be by his side for I have to be busy with the experiments. As a scientist, we need to take risks and sacrifices many times, especially the scientists of your and my kind." She sighed, "What do you think Y/N, I assume Mr. Jungkook will listen to you and your junior Shin-won will listen to you as well."
You let out a deep sigh, all sorts of possibilities started flooding your mind. What if Shin-won ends the same as Jungkook? Ugh! You don't even want to picture all the things you do with Jungkook to do with him. It feels so wrong yet you are practically left with no other choice.
"Okay, I'll do it." You said with a frown.
"Are you serious Y/N??? What are you thinking???" Jungkook's insides were boiling at your response, no way in hell was he sharing you with anyone.
"Y/N, why are you agreeing to this?" Shin-won asked you in disbelief.
"Calm down you both. I have a reason to agree to this and at times like this, we must act professionally so I expect nothing from you except to sail through this till the end. Sucrose, will you start with your experiment?" You asked.
She nodded and turned towards Shin-won, "Shin-won, did you bring the shots?"
"Shots?- Ah you told me to bring it over with me because you had this plan from the start?" He asked her.
"Of course, now give them to me and Y/N.. I heard you have a laboratory in your house, do you have the necessary equipments?" She asked you.
Goodness! Shin-won really loves to boast how your house has a lab room, doesn't he?
"Yes, I do." You said while side-eyeing Shin-won while he awkwardly chuckled.
"Okay then please lead the way." She said.
--
You attached the wire chords to Shin-won's scalp and plugged in the monitor while Sucrose put on a mask and prepered the doses, she followed the exact same steps as Shin-won had with Jungkook.
When she injected the third dose, she silently gestured for you to come and stand in front of him. "Open your eyes Shin-won." You said and he slowly opened his eyes.
He blinked for a few seconds and took a good look at your face while Jungkook stood near the monitor noting down the records of the graph pattern.
Shoot! There it was! The loud shrill noise from the monitor and just like Jungkook, Shin-won's body temperature started to rise which soon followed with him blacking out.
--
The next morning Shin-won had regained his consciousness while you and Jungkook looked out for him. "Hey! Are you feeling okay?" You asked.
Jungkook helped him sit up and handed him a glass of water, "Yes I am.. so.. how long was I lying here for?"
"7 hours!" Jungkook immediately answered with his arms folded.
Shin-won frowned, "Just 7? What happened to the 18 hour duration? It's even lesser than half of Jungkook's duration."
"I know right, seems like you had a good night's sleep." Sucrose said as she came with a syringe. "Now that you are awake, I need your blood for the sample." She said as she rolled up his sleeve and took out blood from him.
"So, how are you feeling? Attracted to.. Y/N?" Even though Jungkook hated every single word that came out of his mouth, he still couldn't resist the curiousity.
Shin-won gulped as he looked at you, he hissed a bit. "Why? Is anything wrong?" You asked him.
"Y/N, why are you standing so close to Jungkook?" He said with a slight frown.
Jungkook's eyes went wide and he closed his fist involuntarily from anger.
You blinked, "what?"
Shin-won then closed his eyes and touched his forehead, "Y/N, I feel hot, can you please come and touch me?"
Jungkook's fist was throbbing from how tight it was fisted, he was ready to throw punches right then and there.
Meanwhile you sensed something was wrong, you narrowed your eyes, "Nice acting Shin-won. Stop faking it already." You said with arms folding up.
He tsked, "Doggone it!"
"What? You were faking it?" Jungkook frowned in confusion.
"Ugh yes, c'mon y/n i was about to have some fun." Shin-won pouted.
"You think this is funny?" Jungkook stepped ahead with the question.
"Ok fine i was gonna give up anyway by looking at that mad fist." He pointed towards Jungkook's hand.
Jungkook rolled his eyes, "Good decision."
You nodded to yourself while thinking about the antidote's reaction period, "Hmm.. it takes minimum of 4 hours and maximum 12 hours for the antidote to remove loveshot's symptoms, i assume in your case it has already worked?"
Jungkook who was listening to you turned towards Shin-won, "You really dont feel anything for y/n?"
He chuckled, "I don't."
Jungkook felt so relieved at his words, lord he was really pissed.
Sucrose fixed her glasses and said, "Now now i need Jungkook and Shin-won to come with me to our lab's korean branch, Y/N.. would you like to assist as well?"
"Ah.. you mean the lab you were working in States has a branch in korea as well?" You asked her with raised eyebrows.
"Yes! Its the Minerva Laboratories. Have you heard of it?" Sucrose asked enthusiastically.
Minerva.. MINERVA!?? ofcourse you've heard of it.
"Uh yes i have. Um.. well i think I'll pass, you both should go with Sucrose." You told them.
"Why won't you come along with us?" Shin-won asked.
"I.. I have some work to catch up on. I'll know the results afterwards, okay?" You said concealing the truth.
Jungkook gritted his teeth, "Y/n, we need to talk." He said that and grabbed your wrist and walked over to the balcony.
"Y/N, are you trying to avoid me?" He said after he let go off your wrist. Even though what he said was partially true, you knew better than anyone else about Jungkook's emotional swings- they were unpredictable nowadays.
You gulped, "Ningguang.. she works there. I- i just don't want to bump into her at all, i dont want to get reminded about Jimin.. so.. so i just want to stay away from everyone and everything that'll remind me of him."
Oh boy! Jungkook felt apologetic for misunderstanding you.. and at the same time his chest was swelling up from happiness.. you really wanted to stay away from Jimin? He loved how loyal you were to him.
He at once took you in a hug catching you off guard, "I knew it, you wouldn't betray me, you wouldn't break your promise." He breathed in the crook of your neck as he snuggled further in the hug.
You blinked rapidly with guilt once again stirring up in your heart, oh how you wish you could turn back time and stop all of this from happening!
You sighed, "Now that you know.. you all should hurry up and go."
Jungkook hummed in your hug.
--
Jungkook and Shin-won sat outside the lab since morning.. and it was evening right now, naturally Jungkook was growing reckless, just how long will he stay here? Any place without you feels like absolute hell to him.
He wants to go back home, to you.. because you were his home, you were the person who brings peace to his mind, you were the one he would call his, you were the one he belonged to.
His thoughts were interrupted once Sucrose swung open the door, "guys, here's the report and my conclusion at the bottom.. i hope this will help you guys work things out." She said with a hint of worry on her face.
Shin-won took the two reports from her hands and Jungkook looked over the details beside him.
"What?!" Shin-won couldn't believe the conclusion he just read.
"The dose works perfectly fine, no issues found.
1. Mr. S has shown no abrupt signs and the antidote has worked well. Mr. S has likely shown infatuation towards Ms. Y but it can be interpreted that way due to high dose of loveshot.
Antidote has ceased the symptoms.
2. Mr. J has shown strong infatuation towards Ms. Y with the antidote failing to cease the symptoms even after 5 days of taking the antidote twice.
Conclusion
Mr. J has strong feelings towards Ms. Y and the dose has likely caused the dormant feelings to display.
It can thus be concluded that the dose has amplified the feelings therefore sticking to it's main objective of- "even if there's slightly any love/infatuation, the loveshot will trigger those particular emotions."
Shin-won's face grew pale, "Jungkook, what does all of this mean? You like Y/N.. no.. you more than just like her, don't you?"
Jungkook bit his lower lip, "I guess so."
Shin-won shook his head, "Why didnt you say so when i was injecting the shot? Why didn’t you tell me?"
Jungkook sighed, "I was afraid that you might slip it up to Y/n before i even had a chance.. tell me, would you not tell her?"
Shin-won blinked, "um.. i- i think?"
Jungkook scoffed, "look at this kid." He playfully smacked Shin-won's head, "Now that we know, i just wanna go home and take some rest. You should go to your home as well and we'll rack our brains tomorrow."
"Wait! What's the rush? You are dying to see Y/n.. aren't you?" He wriggled his eyebrows, "stop with that, fine.. yes, i am dying to meet her, happy?"
"Dont tell me you're obsessed with her." He said nonchalantly while keeping the reports inside his bag.
Obsessed?
It seems like Jungkook has finally realized the feelings which had stayed dormant towards you, now that he thinks about it.. Jungkook indeed used to look out for you everytime even before the loveshot came in the scenario.
He was interested in everything you did, he noticed even the smallest of details about you that might go unnoticed by everyone else. He was always curious about you.
Always.
Upon not hearing any answer, Shin-won finally looked up from his bag towards Jungkook, he blinked, he wished to hear a no from Jungkook, he really did.. so he asked again, "Are... you.. obsessed with her?"
Jungkook's face morphed in a twisted look, "I need some time to think about it."
With that said, he walked away leaving Shin-won behind.
Jungkook was trying to add things up, the more he thought about this.. the more he felt ridiculous about himself.
Was it really not the loveshot that caused him to be so attached to you? Was he always like this? Jungkook ran his hand through hair, he just can't believe it.
He thought he loved you.. he loves you, he's sure of it, but.. "ugh! I need to see her right now." He drove his car as fast as he could.
When he reached your apartment, to his surprise the door was unlocked.
"Y/n?" He called out your name. He didn't hear you answer so he went inside and searched every room.
Did you go outside? He hurriedly dialed your number, he heard your mobile ring in the next room but you weren't there. Where could you have gone without your phone? Did you forget to take it? Or has something happened to you?
Just as Jungkook was stepping out of the main door, he received a notification.
"Whose number is this?" He looked at the unknown number in frustration from not finding you.
He clicked on the message.
xxx-xxx-912 : hey man, it's me! Jimin.
xxx-xxx-912 : you wanted the update right, here you go!
And there lied an image attachment of Jimin and you making out.
*clears throat* ehe what's going on!? 👀
#bts smut#jungkook smut#jjk smut#yandere bts#yandere jungkook#yandere x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts x reader#jjk x reader#bts yandere#bangtan smut#jeongguk smut#jeongguk x reader#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook ff#jungkook fanfiction#yandere kpop#bts#jungkook imagine#jungkook au#yandere smut#yandere lemon#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts ff#bts fic
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I can’t protect you
Summary: After a week car ride over the state with Joel, you both decide to settle for a night at the forest. You didn’t like the idea, but Joel convinced you otherwise. He didn’t make the right choice and blames himself for what might have happened, but you know how to calm him down.
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (no relationship established).
Content/Warnings: +18 SMUT (minors please don’t interact!) unprotected sex (p in v), violence (mention of use of guns and straight up violence - Joel beating the shit out of everyone), mention of rape.
Notes: Excuse any mistake, as english is not my first language. If you have any requests you’d like me to write please let me know! Comments and reblogs are always appreciated (let me know what you think!). Thank you for the support!
“Are you sure this is the right way?” You asked worried. “It’s just that we’ve been driving for hours and it all looks the same to me.”
“Yes, don’t worry.” Joel returned. “We’ll make a turn soon.”
Your relationship with Joel wasn’t very straightforward. You never got too close, but could keep an interesting conversation if you wanted to or if you needed to. You were friends. You held that title with caution, noticing he most of the times kept everything to himself and didn’t really talk much of his past. Which is understandable. He was never once rude to you in any way, but he also didn’t really shot you smiles or tried to make you laugh. You were just kind of there, with each other. Your presence made noticed by each other but never too invading. Never too close.
You noticed Joel turning left into a path that was clear from any type of vegetation. Soon enough you saw a forest.
“Joel.” You began. “What are you doing?”
You saw him grip the steering wheel to complete his turn. “We have to stop, it’s already dark out.”
You looked at him with apprehension. Sleep in the woods? Alone?
“Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, sleep in the actual woods?” Your voice was somewhat just a whisper.
He looked at you, his eyes trying to find the reasoning on your mind to stop him from doing this. “What about it? There’s not any type of civilization for the next hundred miles, we have to sleep somewhere. The forest is safer than on the side of the road.”
“Joel, I don’t know…” you continued.
You averted your gaze on the trees that became taller as you approached them together still inside the car. It soon came to a stop, as Joel pressed the brakes gently.
“I know it’s not ideal, but it’s all we got right now.” His eyes showed empathy, searching in your face for a sign of relief or understanding.
“Well, yeah I know. It’s just that it’s so… exposed. I feel super exposed out here. What if clickers appear?” You protested, fear beginning to show up in your voice.
“Clickers are not a problem here. We’re so isolated. They won’t come.” He assured you. You looked at him for a few seconds, hoping he’d listen to you. “Either way, clickers won’t be our worst problem.” The air got heavy as he spoke. Your expression got more deep with fear. When Joel noticed, he gave you a quick smile and spoke once again. “I’ll go grab the sleeping bags and put them outside.”
“Outside?” Your voice higher than usual.
His face serious and surprised. “Yes, outside.”
“I’ll stay in the car if that’s okay.” You grabbed your jacket to cover yourself with it.
“No no, you’ll freeze to death. We have to make a fire outside.”
You didn’t even consider that option. “I’ll be fine.”
“Absolutely not. Cmon, help me get our things please.”
You watched him get off of the car quickly. You took longer, as you looked outside your window and tried to look in between the tall slim trees that dominated the space. This was unfamiliar. You could only imagine dozens of clickers running in your direction in the middle of the night. Your gaze then followed Joel, who passed your window with two sleeping bags on his arms and his shotgun on his back. You jumped out of the car, bringing all of the blankets you had, as well as both of your jackets.
Once you approached Joel, you handed him his. “Thank you.” He smiled.
You kept your eyes on him longer than usual while he put it on, his smile captivating you, as it was not shown easily. He quickly grabbed his own sleeping bag, while you copied him, trying to seem like you knew what you were doing.
You never really did camping before the world went to shit. You watched him unfold his sleeping bag, hoping he would not notice how unfamiliar you were with your surroundings.
“We should start that fire.” His voice broke the silence.
You kept looking at him, until after a few seconds, his eyes darted at you, watching you carefully.
“Oh you want me to-“ you started, before he interrupted you.
“Only if you want to.” He stopped making his bed for a second.
You shifted in your place. “No no, I’ll do it. You keep doing that.” You gestured.
You didn’t know how to start a fire. You didn’t even know where to begin with. You stood still, looking around you and evaluating what branches you’d grab first. Your body frozen in place.
You saw him look you up, body crouched on the floor, arms supported on his bent legs. “You know how to start a fire?” His voice serious as ever, even though it didn’t announce a condescending tone.
Your eyes met his, asking for help. “I don’t…” you started. “I never really got to do this before-”
“That’s alright, you don’t need to explain.” His body ascending from the floor, after leaving his sleeping bag unattended.
“Well… what can I do?” You asked, hands folded in front of your stomach.
“You can rest if you want to.”
“I must do something, Joel.” You insisted.
His hands grabbing bigger pieces of wood that he found near by, holding them between his torso and underarm. “You can prepare the sleeping bags. Or you can make coffee.”
“That I can do.” Your shy smile making his resurface.
You had a soft spot for Joel, you always had. Since you laid eyes on him. He was attractive, yes. And he was caring, always. But he never really gave you the opportunity to open up in his presence. You guys were just sort of there, hoping to keep company to each other. Nothing ever happened, besides the occasional glances or the longing stares out of the blue. Joel was a little bit older than you, that wasn’t really a problem for you but the thought occurred to you that maybe it was an impediment for him. Maybe he’d like a more mature woman, his actual age. Sometimes you’d think about it, but rapidly shoved the thought out of your head. It was somewhat absurd.
You put the water to boil, hoping the time would go faster. You just wanted this night to go quick.
When you were done with preparing the drink, you quickly realised Joel had taken care of basically everything else. Your sleeping bags were ready to be used - each one at a safe distance from the other - and the fire was already beginning to gain force. Joel even brought some logs for you guys to sit around the fire.
You grabbed a mug full of coffee and brought it to him. “Thank you.” His face lit up by the yellowy orange fire. “You’re not gonna drink some?” He asked.
You shook your head. “I’m okay.” If you drank coffee it would just leave you more restless.
“You can go sleep if you want to. I’ll stay in watch duty, I can wake you when it’s your turn.” He adjusted the riffle on his back before taking another sip of his coffee.
“You don’t mind?” Your voice sounded like of a child scared of the dark. You were tired, so you could use the rest.
He shook his head, assuring you. You slipped into your designated sleeping bag still in your outside clothes, there was no such thing as pyjamas. You closed your eyes and started to drift off slowly.
Needless was to say your sleep didn’t last long. The overwhelming fear of being in an unknown place, of being not completely alone but just with Joel’s presence, no kind of community that can guide you or protect you in some way. The fear of not being able to save yourself from whatever might attack you. Either clickers or men. The thought didn’t occur to you until Joel mentioned it earlier, but clickers really weren’t your worst problem. There could be men scavenging unknown or uncivilised lands, hoping to find whatever they wanted, either food or arming. You began to roll in place, inside the warmth of your sleeping bag, but not even that made you comfortable enough to close your eyes. Once you faced Joel’s direction still wrapped on the blankets, you saw his back to you, on his feet, noticing his always present stance while holding his shotgun.
Your eyebrows furrowed in strangeness. You carefully, slowly got up, but Joel still managed to look your way.
“Do you wanna rest now?” Your tired voice broke the silence.
“No, I’m okay. The coffee’s helping.” He pointed to the half empty mug on the floor.
“I made sure to make it strong.” You smiled.
“Thank you.”
“But seriously.” You interrupted him. “Go rest, I’ll watch now. I can’t sleep either way.” You gestured for him to give you the rifle.
He shook his head, hoping you’d give in.
“C’mon Joel. I can work a shotgun.” You half laughed at his gesture.
“I know you can, I just don’t want you to. Go sleep.” His voice deep as ever.
“The fire is going out, and God knows I can’t do nothing about that.” You nonchalantly pointed at the crackling a few feet away from you. “Someone has to hold the gun.” You put your hand out.
Joel looked you in the eye dead serious before breaking a smile. “You’re insufferable.” He walked over to you, placing the gun harness over your head, you adjusting it to your size. “There you go.”
“Thank you, sir.” You jokingly stated.
You saw Joel crouch on the floor, working on the fire as it grew bigger and smoke made it’s way up through the tall trees.
“It should be good for another 3 hours or so-”
“Now sleep.” You ordered.
“I’m not gonna leave you here while I sleep.” He said while he kept gathering logs of wood.
“Shh.” You ordered once again.
“No, honestly, give me the gun-” you interrupted him again.
“No, shut the fuck up. Did you hear that?” Dead silence followed your question.
Joel looked at his surroundings with worried eyes, before a voice made itself known.
“Hello, hi!” A man appeared from behind the slim trees, his hands in the air over his head. Joel rapidly got closer to you, positioning his body almost in front of yours. You moved away from him, immediately pointing the shotgun to the man’s chest. “You can put the gun down, honey.”
Your eyes stayed still on the man’s face, not moving a muscle.
Joel’s voice sounded rispid. “What do you want?”
The man looked at him with apprehension. “I’ve been walking alone for a few weeks now, I don’t have anything on me. I haven’t eaten or drunk a single drop of water in two days.” His left hand moved to his stomach, resting there for a few seconds before moving back to the air.
“We have nothing to give you.” Joel’s voice came out cruel.
“Joel…” you spoke softly next to him, trying to attend to his empathy. You had water you could give the man, it wouldn’t really make a difference to both of you.
The man shifted his look between the both of you, giving Joel more attention. “Please.” He begged. “If you have anything… “ he stuttered. “I’ll take anything you can give me.”
Joel looked over at you before leaving your side and grabbing a tin of water from the car. He walked slowly, trying to evaluate the man’s facial expressions and actions. He stayed still most of the time, out of fear you thought. You looked over at Joel purposely slowing down his pace. After abruptly putting the gun down on the floor, you reached over to him, grabbing the water yourself. You wouldn’t deny anyone a single drop of water. Joel called out your name once you left his side. You ignored him and approached the man, extending your arm in his direction, still careful to not drop your guard down. You watched the man’s right hand approach the tin, but quickly passing over it, rapidly grabbing your wrist. Your arm came next. What happened next unraveled in a matter of seconds.
Joel shouted your name next to the car, quickly running to your aid. You called his name back. All of a sudden you heard gunshots coming from behind the trees. You saw Joel grab the gun from the floor and point it immediately to the man grabbing you from the back now.
“Shoot him, not fucking her!” The man shouted.
Two other men appeared from the dark, you imagined still not getting close enough for Joel to fully see their figure. You saw Joel aim the gun to one of the man behind you. You couldn’t see them, and you just felt the hands of the man grabbing you so you wouldn’t run away. You saw Joel fire one bullet, hoping he did some damage. He then moved the shotgun over your head, fixating his aim over your right shoulder.
“Let go of her.” Joel’s voice was deeper than you ever heard it.
“You already killed one of my men. I’ll forget that, I’ll give you all my munition, if you let me have her.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” You shouted in his arms, struggling to let loose.
“I have a gun pointing at your head.” The man spoke directly to Joel, ignoring you. “He won’t hesitate to kill you if you resist.”
“That makes two of us.” Joel didn’t move a muscle, shifting his gaze from you and the man behind the trees. “Let go of her.” He repeated louder.
The man’s hands were glued to your body. The look of disgust in Joel’s face made you stay still. “Not happening, man.” The man spit.
Joel shot once again at the trees. Another shot came back almost at the same time from the woods. You gasped as you heard it passing your side and missing Joel by a few feet. “I’m gonna blow your fucking brains off if you don’t get your filthy hands off her!”
“This can’t be your daughter, but she’s too young for you anyway.” You heard the man’s gutural laugh behind your head. “Last chance, or he kills you. After that we can do anything we want with her.” As soon as you saw Joel aim at the man in the back trees, you heard the man shout once again. “For fuck’s sake, shoot him!”
But Joel had him in his aim for longer than that. A bullet came sprinting on your direction, going over your head at full speed. Almost immediately you saw Joel throw the shotgun on the floor with a thud and fasten his pace in your direction. The man let go of you once he realized he was outnumbered and alone, beginning to turn away, but Joel grabbed him by the arm, not letting him go. You got away from the scene, but still couldn’t avert your gaze from it.
“Get inside the car.” Joel spoke as he put the man on the floor underneath him.
The look on Joel’s eyes was dark and almost animalistic. “Joel… just shoot him or something.”
You saw him shake his head to the sides, while always looking at the floor. “No, not this one.” The man underneath him struggled to keep a stead breath, beginning to cry and beg for his life. “Go to the car, please.” His voice became soft again.
You couldn’t even stand there one more minute seeing his expression of disgust mixed with sadness. You turned away and got to the backseat of the car, closing the doors, locking them. You didn’t want to look, but there was no way of just ignoring the fact that Joel was dragging this man out into the woods by his collar. He never once looked back until he disappeared into the darkness. But you kept hearing the man’s screams after, even if he was out of your sight. You put both of your hands on each side of your head, covering your ears. Tears came rolling down your cheeks. Joel hurting or killing someone was not something you haven’t imagined or seen before, but the idea of him doing it with his own bare hands was animalistic and cruel. Not that the man didn’t deserve it, but it felt too much for you to even imagine. A few minutes passed and the screams became to a stop. Not long after, you saw Joel emerge from the trees. His head was down, only looking up inside the car once, before he grabbed the tin of water to wash his bloody hands. He supported them on his hips for a second, always looking down.
You saw him approach the car, opening the door slowly. You saw his figure, dark and tall, blood on his jacket, and some on his shirt. He got inside the car next to you, closing the door behind him as he whispered your name before starting his speech. “Are you okay?” He paused as he analyzed you. “I’m so sorry.” His voice was low, his eyes soft. “I shouldn’t have stopped here. I should have kept driving all the way through the night.” A single tear falling from his eye. Your eyes widened at the sight of him. He turned his back to you for a few seconds after repeating the same words over and over, in a soft tone. “I can’t protect you.”
You grabbed his hand while he wasn’t looking at you. “That’s all you ever did.” His gaze immediately on you, taking in those six words. With your eyes fixed on his, both your hands flew to each side of his face, smearing that tear away from it. “I’m alright.”
His eyes moving from your eyes to your lips. You followed his lead, doing the same. That was enough for him, connecting his mouth to yours. It was the gentlest kiss you’ve ever received in your life, tasting the salty tear on his lips. With both your hands still touching, he grabbed yours placing it on his shoulder, while you adjusted yourself in your seat. Joel didn’t break the kiss, he would never. The silent ambience of the night, with only your mouths making their love known, sounds echoed inside the car, putting you in a trance for him. The desire you had of him only unraveling now with such force. You rapidly straddled him without much thought, his hands holding your waist automatically, even though your skins never touched one another before. His back supported by the seat, his head on the head-rester. Your body over his. When you two gathered for air you heard his voice in a whisper.
“Is this okay?”
“Yes, Joel.” You closed the gap between the both of you, before taking his jacket off and throwing it to the floor of the car.
His body followed yours as you took your shirt off over your head. You were hungry for human touch. His touch. His eyes plastered on your figure before kissing your neck and chest softly. Your breast between his hands, as he kept sucking on your skin dearly. You tugged at his shirt so he would take it off, his pants following your request quickly. You did the same to yours, your underwear coming off at the same time. You looked down at the bulge in his boxers. Fuck, he was big. You were quick to take him out on your hand, adjusting him at your entrance. His breath was shaky, feeling your hand around his hard cock, ready to receive your warmth and wetness. The sounds you both made once he disappeared inside you were animalistic. He stretched you so good you thought you would burst.
“Fuck.” Joel began, his head thrown back at the sight of you starting to move on his length.
His hands carefully holding your bare back, crossing his arms to hold you closer to him. You question how his hands could kill a man, and the next minute be so gentle on your skin and flesh, how his caresses made your head go dizzy. The angle was perfect, his cock hitting the deepest spot inside you. You haven’t felt that in years. Your body moving up and down on him, throwing your head back as he whispered sweet nothings. “So fucking beautiful. So fucking perfect.”
“You feel so good, Joel.” You replied, once you felt your walls tighten against his length.
His thrusts, his hands, his words, were all so very gentle.
“Faster.” You requested.
Your words intoxicating his mind. As he fasten his pace, the whimpers that escaped your mouth made his eyes roll to the back of his head.
“I can’t-“ he interrupted you.
“I know, I know, baby.” He paused as he gathered himself. “Cum on me.”
His words were enough to take you through the edge. With your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your hands supported behind his neck, you felt the tight knot on your stomach release, and as you rode your high on his length, you felt his warm seed shoot up and spread itself inside you, helping with the lubrification on your last thrusts.
You opened your eyes and immediately saw Joel’s on you. Your body fell on top of his, the pressure of you over his body making him smile and chuckle to himself.
“Don’t ever leave me.” Joel’s voice was still deep with lust, but his eyes told you he meant it far more than that.
“Keep protecting me, and I’ll be fine.” You smiled.
#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel tlou#joel tlou x reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut#joel miller x female reader#joel miller the last of us#joel miller tlou#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x y/n#joel x reader#joel x you#joel the last of us#joel smut#the last of us#tlou fic#tlou fanfiction#tlou#tlou smut#tlou x reader#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro x reader
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hiii loved all of your fics… could you do a fluff one with marc guiu where they have been studying for school so they haven’t seen eachother for days and marc surprises her by going to her house? hope you’ve understood everything!
A Midnight Interlude - Marc Guiu
Authors note: First of all thank you so much! and I hope I did your request right :) 💓
WC: 1200+
warnings: incorrect grammar (probably), my first language isn't english so if you notice any mistakes please tell me, just fluff!
summary: Amid exam stress, Marc surprises you. After a cozy movie night and stargazing. Grateful for Marc's presence, you drift to sleep.
send me requests!! ❤️
You've been drowning in textbooks and notes for days, the looming exams consuming every waking moment. Each page turned feels like another step closer to the edge of exhaustion. But amidst the stress and late-night cram sessions, there's one thing you miss more than anything, spending time with Marc.
You and Marc have been inseparable since you met at a mutual friend's birthday party. From the first moment you laid eyes on each other, there was an undeniable connection. You've shared laughter, secrets, and countless moments together. But as finals approach, your time together has dwindled to brief text messages and occasional phone calls.
One evening, as you sit at your desk, buried under a pile of papers, you hear a soft knock on your door. Startled, you glance at the clock. Who could be visiting at this hour?
You open the door to find Marc standing there, a sheepish smile on his face and a backpack slung over his shoulder. His eyes sparkle with excitement as he takes in the sight of you.
"Marc! What are you doing here?" you exclaim, unable to hide your surprise.
"I missed you," he says simply, stepping inside and pulling you into a warm embrace. His arms feel like a sanctuary, a refuge from the chaos of your busy life. "I know you've been swamped with studying, but I couldn't go another day without seeing you."
You feel your stress melt away in Marc's arms. You've been so caught up in your studies that you hadn't realized just how much you missed him. His presence is like a soothing balm for your weary soul.
"Come on," Marc says, taking your hand. "Let's take a break from all this studying. I brought some snacks and your favorite movie."
You can't help but smile as Marc leads you to the living room, where he has set up a cozy nest of blankets and pillows in front of the TV. The soft glow of the screen illuminates the room, casting a warm, inviting light.
The sight of popcorn and chocolate makes your stomach rumble with anticipation. You settle onto the couch, tucking yourself into Marc's side as he presses play on the remote. The movie begins, but you find it hard to concentrate with Marc so close, his warmth seeping into your bones.
For the next few hours, you lose yourself in the world of the movie and each other's company. You laugh, you cry, and you share whispered conversations in the dark. It feels like no time has passed at all since you were last together, lost in your own little bubble of happiness.
As the credits roll, you realize just how much you needed this break. Marc has a way of grounding you, of making you forget about the pressures of school and just enjoy the moment. You turn to him, feeling a rush of gratitude and love swell in your chest.
"Thank you for coming, mi amor," you say, pressing a kiss to Marc's cheek.
"Anytime, mi vida," he replies, his voice soft and gentle. "I'll always be here for you, no matter how busy life gets."
You both sit in comfortable silence for a moment, savoring the closeness between you. Then Marc speaks up, his voice tentative.
"Would it be okay if I stayed over tonight?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for approval. "I don't want to leave you alone after such a long day."
A smile spreads across your face at the thought of spending the night with Marc. It's been too long since you've had him beside you, and the idea of falling asleep in his arms fills you with warmth.
"I would love that," you say, reaching out to take his hand. "Stay as long as you like."
Marc's face lights up with a smile, and he leans in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. "Thank you, mi vida," he murmurs, his voice filled with love.
"Hey," he says softly, turning to you with a gleam in his eyes. "It's a perfect night for stargazing. What do you say we take a break and enjoy the view?"
You smile at the suggestion, feeling a flutter of excitement in your chest. "That sounds wonderful." you reply, already imagining the cozy scene under the night sky.
Together, you gather blankets and pillows, creating a makeshift nest in the backyard. The air is cool and crisp, a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the house. You settle onto the blankets, snuggling close to Marc as you tilt your heads back to gaze at the stars.
The night sky stretches out above you, a vast expanse of darkness illuminated by pinpricks of light. Wrapped in blankets and each other's arms, you feel a sense of peace wash over you. The worries of exams and deadlines fade into the background as you lose yourselves in the beauty of the night.
As the hours pass, you share hopes and dreams, whispering secrets into the darkness. You talk about the future, imagining all the adventures you'll go on together once the football season and exams are over and summer break begins.
At one point, a shooting star streaks across the sky, and you both make a wish in unison, hearts filled with hope and possibility.
As you both lay under the blanket of stars, Marc turns to you with a soft smile. "What did you wish for?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
You glance at him, a playful twinkle in your eye. "I can't tell you," you reply with a teasing grin. "You know the rule - if you tell, it won't come true."
Marc chuckles, leaning in closer to you. "Ah, playing it safe, are we?" he says, his warm breath tickling your ear. "Well, whatever it is, I hope it comes true for you."
His words send a shiver down your spine, a rush of affection flooding your heart. You reach out to squeeze his hand, feeling the connection between you grow even stronger in the quiet of the night.
As Marc's question lingers in the air, a soft smile graces your lips. "I wished for our future together," you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
Marc's eyes widen slightly, his gaze softening as he takes in your words. "Our future," he repeats, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "I couldn't wish for anything more."
You feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you, overwhelmed by the depth of love you feel for Marc in this moment. He pulls you close, wrapping you in a tight embrace as if to reaffirm his commitment to you and the future you both envision together.
Underneath the canopy of stars, surrounded by the quiet serenity of the night, you share a moment of pure connection and understanding. It's as if the universe itself is whispering its blessings upon your love, promising a future filled with endless possibilities and boundless joy.
As you lay there, wrapped in Marc's arms, you can't help but feel a sense of peace wash over you. Whatever challenges lie ahead, you know that as long as you have Marc by your side, you'll be able to face them together, hand in hand, with unwavering love and devotion.
And as you drift off to sleep, cradled in the warmth of Marc's embrace, you hold onto the hope and excitement of the future that awaits, knowing that with him, anything is possible.
#marc guiu#marc guiu fluff#marc guiu x reader#marc guiu oneshot#marc guiu imagine#la masia#fc barcelona
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𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓐𝓼𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓹 𝓞𝓷 𝓗𝓲𝓶 ♡
Pairing: Itadori Yuji x GN!Reader
Word Count: 883
Warnings: Just a lot of fluff, very self indulgent. Yuji is SMITTEN. Mostly proofread, but there could still be mistakes.
A/N: I will be making more of these for different characters, but I got a little carried away with this one and now it's 2 in the morning, so go me :D This is my first post in a VERY long time, so please be nice, I know it's no where near perfect. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy! xx
- You guys probably stayed up too late binge watching each other’s favorite movies together.
- Yuji was very immersed in the movie you picked out. He would occasionally turn to you to say something or ask questions about it to make sure he was getting everything right. He cares about your hyper fixations, okay?
- He also loves to try and predict what’s gonna happen—and he’s very good at it. It takes everything in you to keep a straight face when he guesses things correctly, because you don’t want to ruin the surprise. Though the excitement of watching him react to your favorite pieces of media is hard enough to control as it is.
- About an hour into the third movie of the night, you started to feel your eyes grow heavy and your breathing even out. You became less reactive to the movie and more focused on trying to stay awake. You really didn't want this night to end just yet.
- Yuji didn’t really seem to notice this, as his attention was fixed on the screen, his brows furrowed and mouth slightly parted. You would’ve chuckled at him if it weren’t for how tired you’ve become.
- Sleep slowly but surely creeping up, you burned the image of his adorable concentration face deep into your mind to cherish it forever. If only you had the energy to snap a real photo, but this will have to do.
- Finally, your eyes closed for the final time that night, your body deciding that it was indeed bed time.
- Yuji felt a warm weight fall against his bicep, and with a soft sound of surprise, turned to see you had fallen asleep on him. His heart suddenly swelled with adoration as he looked over your sleeping figure. He nearly stopped breathing, almost terrified to wake you.
- It took EVERYTHING in this man to hold back his cute aggression. I mean, look at you! All snuggled up against him, breathing softly between parted lips, cheek smushed against his arm.
- His face grew hot and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself. No matter how much he wants to give you the biggest hug and squeeze, he could just never disturb your peace like that.
- With how tense things have been getting in the world of sorcerers, it was becoming a rare sight to see you like this. Fully relaxed, heart and mind free of any fear or worry. It brought a little tear to his eye.
- He already made it his life’s mission to protect you, but moments like these really cement that. He wants to keep you like this, undisturbed and at true peace with the world—with him. He'll continue to fight like hell for that to happen.
- A new ache in Yuji’s upper back snaps him out of his thoughts, and a new worry takes hold.
- What does he do now? Does he stay here? Or should he carry you to your bed so you can sleep properly?
- If you stayed here on the couch with him, Gojo would surely find you guys in the morning and you would never hear the end of it. Not to mention you would probably be a bit sore when you woke.
- But if he took you to your bed he risked waking you and he wouldn’t be able to sleep by your side. The thought makes him pout a bit.
- The decision was so small but seemed so huge to him in that moment. Poor guy nearly panicked, thinking a little too hard. Steam practically rolled out of his ears, going over the pros and cons of each choice.
- You shifted a little in your sleep, and his breath hitched in his throat, watching, waiting. But you didn’t wake, eyes firmly closed shut, still breathing slow and steady. Your face twitched a little bit as you let out a content noise, to which Yuji smiled.
- Ultimately though, he decided to stay out here with you. He could deal with Gojo’s teasing, as he already does every day. Plus he could easily just figure out a way to turn Gojo's teasing to Megumi. He just really wants to stay by your side tonight, feeling extra clingy and affectionate.
- He maneuvered you carefully so your head was on his chest, and your body immediately adjusted accordingly. You balled some of his sweatshirt in your hand and nuzzled your head deeper into his warmth. He laid back as far as he could manage, arms wrapping around you and squeezing lightly. His thumb traced absentminded circles on your shoulder.
- Though his heart was nearly pounding out of his chest, you didn’t seem to notice as you began to snore lightly. Heat crept up his neck as he held back a squeal of adoration, bottom lip jutting out, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.
- See? You don’t even have to try and he folds for you. He always has and always will.
- Yuji feels so at peace with you. And knowing you feel safe enough to fall asleep around him, letting your guard down completely--it makes him feel a strange sense of pride.
- He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the fact that you chose him. He’s thankful every single day that he not only gets to know you, but gets to be the one you’re closest to. The giddiness probably won’t ever go away. And you feel the same.
- After a while of fawning over you, he felt sleep begin to carry him away, too.
- With a smile on his face and you wrapped in his arms, he fell into his slumber, waiting to wake up to your beautiful face in the morning—something he hopes he can do every morning for a long, long time.
#yuji itadori#yuji x reader#itadori x reader#yuji itadori x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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Spaces Between Us
*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.
• Requested: yes by anon.
• Summary: you and Jay break up and it’s the hardest thing you’ve even been through. Is it forever over or will you be able to overcome the difficulties?
• Warnings: LOTS of angst and cursing, use of alcohol, slight mention of blood and dead body (it’s not important for the plot but still), I don’t know if there’s anything else please let me know if I missed any <3
• Word count: 19k. Yeah… I know.
• A/N: I’VE NEVER BEEN SO STRESSED OUT FOR A FIC I SWEAR IT’S LIKE IT HAD TO PAY MY BILLS SO PLS BLOW THIS UP. I’m kidding (no I’m not ) but jokes aside, I hope you’ll like this fic even if still shitting bricks at the thought you’ll gonna hate it 😭 so please let me know what do you think and give me any advice if you want. I’m sorry for any mistakes and just so you know this fic dramatic as fuck lol. I love you all and thank you so much I know nobody is gonna read this, like I haven’t already written enough okay bye ❤️
Anyone who tells you that getting together with your best friend is simple because you know each other very well, don't trust them, it's complete bullshit.
And you had unfortunately learned this the hard way.
You really thought your relationship with Jay would be amazing to say the least, the first few months being pure heaven. You were very happy, you sprayed joy from every pore and anyone who met you could notice the toothy smile you continually had on your face.
You thought you knew Jay perfectly and that he knew you perfectly. After all you had been friends for so many years before getting together which is why you believed you knew everything about him, strengths and weaknesses, and he knew the same about you.
Unfortunately, however, this wasn’t true at all and you soon realized reality was very different from what you thought, being in a relationship with someone was totally different from being their friend. When you’re in a relationship you see that person differently, that person becomes the center of your thoughts, and everything they say and do have a weight on you whether you like it or not, you start to analyze everything with different eyes, you pay more attention to details, and you don't miss things that you wouldn't notice with a friend.
And that was exactly what happened with Jay.
You and him had been together for about six months when you started to notice something that among other things slowly took a big toll on you.
Given the nature of your jobs – him being a detective and you being a firefighter – there were times where you weren't able to spend much time together. He never let a minute pass without sending you a sweet text telling you how much he missed you and how much he wanted to be with you, but when it was time to see each other he sometimes preferred to go to Molly's with his friends.
Of course there was nothing wrong with that and you yourself told him to go, but when you started to notice this happened very frequently, taking time away from the two of you, you started to show him your discomfort.
You never wanted to create arguments, you just tried to communicate with him and express something that was starting to weigh on you but he didn't take it that way and a big argument were created from this. You knew Jay, you knew he was the type of person to keep everything inside, to not express his feelings right away, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt you. He accused you of alienating yourself from him, telling you he’d invite you to go with him when he went to Molly's and you were just being dramatic.
You tried to let it go for the sake of the relationship, trying to swallow the lump and think he wasn't doing it on purpose.
But from this episode everything started to go downhill.
When you were with him at the bar, or somewhere else, with his colleagues or friends you couldn't help but notice the way he and his colleague, Hailey, were particularly close. You tried not to let your mind wander, not to listen to your paranoid thoughts but when all you did was see the way they laughed and joked you couldn't keep the jealousy that gripped your stomach at bay.
You had known her since she joined Intelligence. You always knew they were good friends but since you got with Jay you couldn't help but wonder if their relationship had always been like this or if you saw it differently now just because you were in a relationship with him.
As with everything else, you started asking him questions about her and things like that and he didn't think much of it at first but when he started noticing the insistent way Hailey had become involved in your conversations, it started to bother him.
He had tried to reassure you, to tell you there was nothing going on with her but it wasn't enough, since he said the same thing to you too and yet you ended up together. But other than simple phrases and some sweet words thrown into the wind, he didn't seem to do anything to convince you otherwise.
You had never been the jealous type of person, you both had your own circle of friends, but the way Hailey always seemed to be up his ass, bothered you more than you’d never admit.
One evening, after work, you joined Jay at Molly's where you knew he had met with his colleagues and other friends. A strange sensation gripped your stomach as you tried to convince yourself it was only tiredness but inside you knew what the real reason for that anxiety was.
You hoped until the last minute to not see her there, you knew it was wrong, but you didn't want to be in her presence and you didn't want Jay to be either. But when you entered the bar and from afar you saw him and her sitting at the same table, that hope was destroyed in a second.
Jay looked up from her and immediately saw you walk in and a huge smile spread across his face as he waved his hand towards you. You approached the table, greeting everyone with a smile anyone from a mile away could tell was very fake.
“Hi baby, you're finally here.”
Jay stood up and hugged you tightly to his body. You returned that hug, your heart pounding in your chest even though you couldn't just let yourself go completely.
He let go of you and to your surprise pressed his lips to yours in a sweet, chaste kiss, eliciting a series of small squeals and whistles from the table. You giggled and, cheeks burning, went to sit next to Jay on the chair he had kept free for you.
A small smile – this time sincere – appeared on your lips. Jay wasn't the type of person who made sensational or dramatic gestures, he was a rather private person but when it came to you he didn't care about these things, he was very physical and always needed to have you close, to have a hand on you and feel your warmth in a way or another.
But, let's just face it, you loved that gesture mostly because he did it in front of Hailey and the territorial, irrational part of you was doing backflips.
God I don't recognize myself anymore.
“How was work? Wait, first tell me what you want to drink so I can order it for you,” Jay said immediately, an arm around your waist as he looked at you with a sweet smile on his lips. He didn't let you answer though. “You're so beautiful baby, you know that?”.
You giggled like a schoolgirl – being careful to let everyone hear you – and delicately smacking his chest before awkwardly resting your head on his shoulder, trying to hide the bright blush on your cheeks.
He laughed back and left a kiss on your forehead and that was enough to calm you down, to convince yourself he loved you, that he only wanted you, or else he wouldn't have acted so affectionately in front of her.
“What are you drinking?” You asked, feeling his arm move up from your side around your shoulders.
At that same moment a sudden flash blinded both of you for a second and as you looked up you noticed Adam taking photos of you and Jay with his cell phone with a huge grin plastered on his face.
“Ruzek what the fuck!” Jay exclaimed even though he was actually laughing. He paused and then continued, “Make sure to send us those pics man.”
You burst out laughing and at that same moment, while everyone was joking around and making fun of you and Jay, but you couldn't help but glance at Hailey and notice the way her face was twisted into a serious expression while pretending to play along.
You tried not to think much of it, but it disturbed you, because it was just further evidence she had an interest in Jay that went beyond work.
“So tell me about your day baby,” Jay brought his attention back to you when the others finally decided to give both you and him some spite.
“It went well, we only had one intervention. A man stuck in a car after a car accident,” you sipped some of his beer, earning a fake look of disappointment from him, “Really bad story, but everything went well, he survived and they managed to get him to Med's in time.”
“Just because you were there, love.”
“Kiss-ass,” You rolled your eyes, giggling. “How about you? Something interesting happened?”.
What you didn't expect was for Hailey to answer for him, as if she was listening to your conversation the whole time and was just waiting for the moment to intervene. “Oh my god today was hectic. We busted a drug trade. You should’ve seen it Y/n! Jay faced I don't know how many traffickers alone! Come on Jay, tell her!”.
You tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible as you directed your gaze towards her, noticing the way she suddenly perked up and how she looked at your boyfriend.
Did she seriously intruded while you were only talking to him?
Jay on the other hand didn't notice this attitude and laughed with Hailey as they started joking about what had happened that day. They made jokes, laughed as if it was just the two of them and the way his attention had completely shifted towards her caused you quite a bit of annoyance.
You remained silent as you pretended to listen to what they were saying, trying to bite your tongue and not say anything about the fact she was practically hanging on his lips and licking his ass as she praised him.
This was enough to knock your mood into the ground and throw you back into the spiral of paranoid thoughts you managed to keep at bay for a moment.
You hated the way he joked with her, the way they laughed together. Fuck it, he didn't have to feed her illusion and you couldn't even accept how he couldn't see she was blatantly flirting with him.
Your hands were shaking with anger but you wanted to act like a mature person, you wanted to try to stay calm and not let your emotions get the better of you.
“I think I’ll leave now. Jay, can you give me a ride home please? I didn’t came here with my car”.
What? Did I hear that correctly?
You almost had a heart attack, anger now flowing through your veins.
How could she be so bold? Did she forget you were there too?
“Sure, no problem,” was Jay's response and you almost smashed his head on the table. You looked at him in dismay, now unable to keep calm and act like a mature person.
“Jay do I have to remind you I'm here? You’re really going?” you spoke as he was getting up. He looked at you with an apologetic smile, completely unaware of the fact you were furious. You didn't care if they heard you, you didn't care about making a scene.
“But I'm not leaving baby, I'll just take her home and come right back here.” He pressed a kiss to your lips before leaving the bar with her.
You were so angry you couldn't say anything except watch them from afar.
You couldn't believe it.
This was fucking unbelievable.
You looked from the now closed door to Adam, who was sitting in front of you looking at you with frowning eyes and a surprised and confused expression.
“Wow…” you managed to let out, the humiliation forcing you to run your hands over your face for a moment, elbows resting on the table.
“Hey it's okay, calm down,” he tried to reassure you.
“Adam am I seeing things? Is this just my imagination?” You looked at him, still stunned.
He didn't respond but shook his head slightly, effectively answering your question. “But not from his side,” he pointed out “He only has eyes for you Y/n, believe me, but I can't deny this shit isn’t ridiculous.”
“I'm going home.” You blurted out, standing up and not listening to Adam, and then Kim, who tried to calm you down and convince you to stay.
But you couldn't think straight, not at that moment.
Your boyfriend had left you at a bar to give a ride to the female colleague who was actually crazy about him in a way everyone had noticed except for him, without even trying to ask if you wanted to go too or if it was okay with you.
You were so angry, so furious as you had been a few other times in your life, wanting nothing more than to smash something. You hated her, you hated him, you hated yourself for feeling that way.
You hated everything.
When Jay returned to Molly's after about twenty minutes, confusion appeared on his face as he immediately noticed you were no longer sitting at the table as he expected. He approached his friends, not ignoring the dirty looks they gave him.
“Where is Y/n?”.
Kim glared at him, making no effort to show the irritation towards him. “She's gone.”
“What? Why?”.
“Why? Are you fucking serious Jay?” Adam intervened, causing an even more confused expression to appear on his friend's face. His heart was pounding as he thought of every scenario, thinking you hadn't been feeling well.
“What's going on guys?”.
“You're so damn stupid,” Kevin scolded him, sharing the thoughts of his friends. “That was fucked up man.”
“What part of your brain convinced you that taking another woman – who casually has a crush on you – to her house and leaving your girlfriend here was a good idea? Do you understand how absurd this is? She was more mature than me, I would’ve kicked you in your balls,” Kim continued.
Fucking hell.
He realized he screwed everything up really, really badly this time. Without responding to those words, he immediately ran out of the bar, intending to rush to your house.
That night he tried to apologize and make up for it but you didn't want to talk about it and closed the door in his face when he showed up at your house. You didn't care if you seemed exaggerated, or even crazy, you didn't want to give in and you weren't going to let him disrespect you like that.
You completely ignored him for two days, not responding to any of his calls or texts, still too angry to seek a mature confrontation. When you thought you had calmed down, the memory of Jay leaving the bar with Hailey was enough to make you go back to being even more furious than before.
You understood the problem you had was much deeper than you would’ve ever wanted to admit and what hurt you most was not being understood by him.
You spoke with an open heart, you shouted at him and he understood the mistake he had made, promising you he’d try to fix it and stay away from these situations.
This wasn't the case though, in fact this was just one of numerous arguments you and Jay had over the topic of ‘Hailey’. You didn't feel reassured and his attitude did nothing but fuel your unease, making you feel even crazier than you thought.
On the other hand, you understood he too must have gotten tired of arguing about the same things so this contributed to making your relationship with him deteriorate considerably, the lack of trust he perceived made everything even worse.
The breaking point, however, came one morning and from there nothing was the same as before.
That morning you woke up to Jay's cell phone ringing. You had spent the night before together as he stayed over.
“Jay…” you murmured in your sleep, covering your ears to stop hearing that damn ringing. “Who the hell calls this early?”.
Jay removed the arm wrapped around your hip and let out a groan before propping himself up on his elbow and picking up his cell phone, answering the call without even checking who it was. “Halstead”.
You couldn't hear who it was but you turned to him, now giving him your full attention, wide awake.
“Oh yeah I forgot…” he said, rubbing a hand over his face before taking the cell phone away from his ear for a moment and checking the time “Yeah… I know it’s late. I’ll be there in half an hour. Okay. See you later.”
He ended the call before placing his phone on the nightstand and sighing.
“Who was it?” You asked as he stood up.
“I forgot I have breakfast with Hailey…”
Just hearing that name was enough to make your blood boil.
What the fuck?
You couldn't stand her anymore, why was she always around? Why did she always have to interfere? And why the fuck did Jay always have to run to her?
“Jay are you fucking serious?” You exploded, hair standing on end in anger as you jumped up from the bed.
He picked up his pants from the floor, starting to put them on and button them. “I know baby, but I completely forgot it but it's for work I swear or…”
“Work? What kind of ‘work’ is necessary for you to go have breakfast with her? You really think I'm that stupid Jay?!”
“Of course not! What the hell are you even talking about Y/n? I wouldn't even have told you if I had something to hide!”.
“Do you realize what you're doing? Do you realize how you always run to her every time she calls you?! You were in bed with me just five seconds ago and now you're going to her!”.
“I just told you it's for work! We have to go on an undercover mission and we just need to discuss the details Y/n stop implying things that don’t even exist!”.
You ran your hands over your face, frustrated and angry as ever as you watched him put on the shirt.
“Work doesn't tell you to always be up her ass Jay!”.
He looked at you like you had just grown a second head after hearing one of the craziest things in his life. “What the fuck are you even saying? Do you hear yourself when you talk? You realize how ridiculous that sounds? I don’t care about her why are you saying this?!”.
“And of course I'm ridiculous now, great! My boyfriend gets out of bed to go have breakfast with someone else he knew I fucking despise and I'm ridiculous! I'm fucking tired of this relationship and I'm fucking tired of always having her around Jay what the fuck can’t you understand that?!”.
Your words hit him like a tsunami.
I’m tired of this relationship.
Jay felt a sinking sensation in his chest, as if all the air had suddenly been sucked from his lungs. He was silent for a moment, his jaw clenched as he tried not to let the pain caused by those few simple word overwhelm him.
“You’re tired Y/n? You’re fucking tired?!” He almost shouted. “How the fuck do you think I feel when all we talk about is Hailey? You don't talk about anything else! You don't realize how obsessed you have become!”.
“Don't you dare blame me!” You yelled furiously through clenched teeth, pointing a finger at him as you continued to look at each other as if you were both ready to jump on your necks. Your eyes glare at the other, sending lightning and bolts full of anger and resentment. “We wouldn't be in this fucking situation if you had shown me some respect, if you had set boundaries with her! You seem to care more about her than me! Jesus, you know how all this shit makes me feel, you know how much all of this hurts me but you don't seem to give a fuck!”.
“That’s absolutely unbelievable, I can’t even believe how you’re doubting my feeling for you, how can you say something like that? I only have eyes for you Y/n! The whole world knows it, everyone sees it except you! You’re just choosing to let your weird obsession take over everything else.”
“Maybe you’re just shit at proving it because trust me leaving your fucking girlfriend to go have breakfast with another woman doesn’t seem a great way to show her your love!”
“Are you fucking serious right now?”. He clenched his hands into fists to try to maintain the tiny bit of calm he had left, pressing his nails hard against the skin of his palms to vent his anger.
“Yes Jay, I'm fucking serious!”.
“What the fuck are you doing with me then if that's what you think?! Since apparently I can't give you anything and you’re so fucking ungrateful you can't see the good things I do for you!”.
“What the fuck are you doing Jay huh?! Tell me! Is going to Hailey as soon as she calls you a good thing you do for me? Is this how you do it? Flash news my dear, that's not how this fucking works!”.
“I'm not fucking doing anything that’s the damn point! How the hell am I supposed to tell you she's just a colleague and I don't give a shit about her or anyone else but you! Why the fuck do you have so little faith in me!”.
“Because I don't trust you Jay! You really think an ‘I love you’ thrown in every now and then and a bouquet of flowers will fix everything? No it doesn't work like that, you don't solve the problems by just showing a fake reassurance that only lasts a couple of days!”.
“I will have to model myself for her majesty then, to be at her complete pleasure since…-”
You interrupted him. “For fucks sake Jay stop playing the victim! You don't get to do it, you have no right! You're the one going somewhere else what the fuck do you expect from me? Waiting for you with open arms? I'm not ungrateful, maybe you're just a shitty ass boyfriend who can't show me that he cares about me!” You screamed, throwing out everything you had kept inside for a long, long time, regardless of the destroyed and furious expression with which he was looking at you. “You show no respect for me, for my feelings, you don't give a fuck about what I tell you and that’s not even the first time I’m telling you this! It's not the first time I've told you how much this situation hurts me!”.
“Didn't it cross your mind, Y/n, that maybe you're the fucking problem here? That you're so fucking obsessed with that bitch you can't see anything else? That you're just a fucking child and all you can do is whine and whine and whine! You're making my life a living hell with your luck of trust! Every fucking day is a fight about something! You're always so needy, nothing is ever okay with you! Everything I do is wrong!”.
You took a step back at the sound of those words, as if to create a distance between you two. A pain radiated through your chest as your eyes stung while you continued to look at him. You fought with all your being not to let it go, you refused to cry in front of him.
You had come to the realization that maybe you weren't meant to be together, that taking your friendship to the next step was a mistake, you shouldn't have let your feelings get in the way and in that moment you realized that nothing between you would ever be the same.
You looked at each other, furious, both hurt by the words you had said. You looked at each other as if you didn't know each other, as if you were each other's worst enemy and this broke your heart.
“Get the fuck out of my house.” You ordered in a low, trembling tone, a stark contrast to the screams that had been filling the room just moments before. “It's over.”
Did he hear that right?
It’s over.
He was shocked. Getting hit by a bullet would’ve hurt less. He never once thought in his life that hearing you say those words would hurt so damn much, he actually never thought he’d hear those words at all. He swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling it close and his breath catch, his eyes filling with tears.
“Get out!” You screamed again, your voice cracking from crying. You turned to the window, hands on your face as you waited for him to leave.
You didn't want to see him anymore.
You didn't want him there anymore.
You jumped when you heard the front door slam shut, making a deafening noise. At that precise moment you felt as if all your strength had abandoned your limbs and you fell to the ground, bringing your legs to your chest and crying like you had never done before.
You tried to think through everything that had happened.
You and Jay broke up.
You couldn't believe it, although you knew that moment would come sooner or later.
You had just broke up with the love of your life and felt like the world was collapsing on you. You never wanted it to come to this, damn it, that man was the most beautiful person you'd ever met, you imagined your whole life with him, how could it all be over? How did you end up like this?
Why couldn’t he understand you? Why didn't he try to do it? Why couldn't he see how much you were hurting and how much it hurt to not see any reassurance from him? After all this was what you wanted, just a little reassurance.
You hated him and you hated yourself because despite everything you would’ve taken a bullet rather than see him suffer but you had reached breaking point, you couldn't continue like that.
You loved him so damn much and hated him with same intensity.
You cried all the tears you had in your body, until it was physically impossible for you to expel any more and you remained in that position, sitting on the ground for a time you couldn't quantify.
However, you knew that unfortunately you couldn't stay there forever and that, despite your broken heart, you had a job to do.
As soon as you set foot in the fire station all your colleagues immediately noticed something was wrong. Your eyes were puffy, visible from a mile away even though you were staring at the ground, your posture tense.
You went to your locker and put down the bag with your things inside it, trying with all your being not to cry again. You were at work, you had to be efficient and personal problems had to be left out.
“Y/n, honey, are you okay?” Stella's voice caught your attention but you didn't look at her, you couldn't do it or you would’ve collapsed. You were holding on to the only bit of strength you had to keep from bursting into tears.
“I’m fine.“
“It doesn't seem like it…”
“I'm fine dammit!” You exclaimed loudly, slamming your locker shut and making her jump in fright. You looked at her and a wave of guilt washed over you. “I'm sorry Stel-…” your voice broke as you burst into tears, covering your face with your hands so she wouldn't look at you.
She immediately hugged you and you cried in her arms as she held you and reassured you with all the warmth and affection she had. “Oh darling it's okay, you're not alone, everything will be okay.” She caressed your back and then your hair, while you let yourself go for the second time in less than an hour into one of the most desperate cry of your existence.
Your heart felt torn, completely shattered, as if they had taken it from your chest with their bare hands and dug their nails into it.
“It's okay, I'm here with you, cry as long as you want.”
You had an abyss inside, a storm that was overwhelming you painfully like you never thought it was possible. You didn't believe it was possible to feel such pain, you didn't believe you could even think of suffocating.
And if you were desperate, Jay had reacted in a totally different way.
He was furious.
So angry.
He had never felt something like this, he thought he might explode with anger.
He was angry at you, at himself, at the whole entire world.
It was as if something had flipped a switch inside him, because he could no longer think clearly. After leaving your apartment he didn't know how he managed to get back to his house without getting into an accident, all the way his body was driving but his soul seemed lost, his mind elsewhere.
He slammed the door so hard the noise reverberated throughout the house.
What the fuck had happened? How the fuck did you get to that point? How did you two manage to go from sleeping together the previous night to breaking up the next morning?
It's over.
Your words continued to echo in his brain, repeating over and over again as if he was listening to a broken record.
How could you have done that? How could you have left him?
He was so fucking furious.
“Fuck!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, not even caring if the neighbors could hear him. He would’ve punched anyone who dared to approach him at that moment.
He didn't know how or when it had happened but in the grip of blind fury he found himself breaking any object he came across, throwing vases against the wall, chairs, glasses, anything. The deafening silence in that apartment was broken only by the sound of his heavy and uncontrolled breathing mixed with the crashing of objects against the walls.
This wasn't enough though, he wasn't even able to partially calm the anger he felt.
“Fuck everything! Fuck you!” He screamed again as if you were in front of him.
It's over.
Why?
Jay couldn't give himself an answer. He knew things weren't going well for a while but he’d never, ever, ever imagine leaving you. He wanted to face everything with you, any kind of obstacle, because he wanted it to work, because since he had met you and even when you were just friends he hadn’t doubted for a second you weren’t the woman of his life.
He had said horrible things. Things he didn't even think.
You hadn't ruined his existence, on the contrary, his life would probably have ended in the abyss if he had never met you.
He was shocked.
He didn't want to believe it, he just couldn’t.
He was sure everything would be resolved, your love couldn't just end that way. He hadn't spent years pining for you only to lose you like that, just because of a misunderstanding.
His cell phone rang but he didn't pay attention to it as his shining eyes looked at his half-destroyed apartment.
He had to get out of there, he needed to distract himself as he couldn't stay in that damn room where everything reminded him of you, where everything screamed your name. Hell, if he closed his eyes he could hear your laughter filling his apartment as he chased you one night after you stole the bag of chips he was happily eating.
By the time he arrived at the district the intense anger had somehow subsided even though he was in no condition to do anything as his mind was completely elsewhere.
He had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes when he saw Hailey sitting on his desk. It was her fault and he was hating her for it.
Inside he actually knew this wasn’t true, it was only his fault for not being able to do things differently and yours for not trusting him enough but he wasn’t thinking clearly.
“Halstead where the hell have you been?! I waited for you for more than half an hour!”.
Just hearing her voice was enough to make him go back to the anger he had so difficultly tried to suppress. He didn't have the strength or desire to put up with anyone, especially not at that moment when everything in his life seemed to be falling apart.
“Hailey don't start this bullshit okay? God I can't stand you anymore just leave me the fuck alone! And find yourself another fucking partner from now on I’ve had enough of this shit!”.
Jay's loud voice made Voight leave his office but he didn't care just as he didn't care about the shocked expression with which she looked at him, not expecting that outburst in the slightest.
“What is going on here?” Voight's gravely voice echoed through the unit.
Jay gave him a look and without another word he left, ignoring his boss' voice calling out for him. He was walking down the stairs when he bumped into Kevin.
“Hey man dammit! Woah, are you okay?” Kevin asked, stopping in his steps and getting worried when he noticed the frantic way Jay was walking. He didn't answer him, ignoring Kevin completely as he continued towards the exit of the district.
He couldn't do this, he couldn't deal with this.
He couldn't function if you weren't there.
How was he supposed to do it?
-
The two months following the breakup were one of the hardest Jay had to face. Since you had met years ago that was the first time you hadn't spoken and to say he felt like shit was an understatement.
Some would’ve thought the reaction was exaggerated since you’ve been together for just few months, but Jay had loved you long before he even confessed his feelings for you. You had entered his life like a hurricane and now that you left he felt empty.
Empty.
Lost.
That's how he felt.
And not even these words could remotely describe how he actually felt. He was so used to having you in his life, to sharing everything with you, than even after two months he could resign himself to your breakup.
The anger had subsided but it was still there, no longer towards you – or rather only in a small part – but above all towards himself.
He was angry with you because he couldn't accept how you had given up so quickly at the first big obstacle. But then again, who was he kidding, you had every reason to do it and this was the reason why he, on the other hand, was furious with himself.
After the initial shock, as time passed, Jay had reflected on everything that had happened and what had led to the breakup and, also after speaking with his friends and brother, he realized how many mistakes he had done and how right you were saying he had been a shitty boyfriend.
He had disrespected you by not considering your feelings, he had neglected them thinking every problem would just go away on its own.
He had accused you of being irrational, oppressive and he had never realized how harmful these things were, not trying to really reflect on why were acting like that.
But it was too late.
You only realize you had something important only when you lose it, this was so true.
He mistakenly hadn't given enough importance to your feelings, your thoughts, your fears. He hadn't reassured you enough when you expressed your fears, he hadn't done what was necessary to make you go to sleep peacefully at night and he would’ve cursed himself forever for this.
He was hurting but he knew it was nothing compared to what you had been through with his carelessness and superficiality for so long, so he deserved to suffer. It's true, he deserved it – he thought – but every morning he woke up and wondered when it would end, when that emptiness would go way, when that constant sensation of his lungs being compressed and not being able to breathe would stop.
Talking to Adam one time, he pointed out Jay was wrong for not to setting boundaries with Hailey even though their relationship had always been like this even when you and him were still friends.
“We all noticed how Hailey was looking for every opportunity to get close to you man so I'm sorry to say but everything that happened was your fault. You’re like a brother to me you know this, but Y/n has every reason to be furious with you, you should’ve set some boundaries and shouldn't have never let her think another person comes before her. I don't blame her for breaking up with you.”
These words made Jay open his eyes, although ever since that day when he made that outburst against Hailey in the unit he had relaxed their partnership to the bare minimum after asking Voight to change partner. He no longer spoke to her except for work, he no longer went out when she was around, he didn't answer any calls or messages and god only knew how much he wanted to call you to tell you that but he also knew it was too late to fix it since he should’ve done this much sooner.
He thought about how he would’ve felt if the roles had been reversed and he didn't have to think twice about the fact that he would’ve reacted even worse than you did. This obviously only made him feel worse.
The question he asked himself two months ago was never answered.
Jay didn't know how to function without you. He didn't know how to exist in a world where you weren't part of it.
He couldn't sleep well anymore without you beside him and even though two months had passed, every night he found himself looking at the photos of you two and, God, how much he would’ve paid to go back to those moments and be able to relive them.
His gaze landed on one of the pictures Adam took at Molly's the fucking night when he decided giving Hailey a ride home would be a smart thing to do. God, on second thought if he could just go back in time – not giving a shit about seeming mean and insensitive – he would’ve even let her walk in the rain and snow if it meant having you with him again.
A bitter smile played on his lips as his vision blurred with tears. He had cried so much in those past months, more than he’d ever want to admit, and there were countless times where he called Will to come over and always ended up crying in front of him.
Fuck he missed you so much.
How was it possible to want someone so bad? How was it possible to miss someone so much he felt like he was dying everyday even after two months?
He sniffled as he paid attention to the photo again. You were so beautiful and seemed so carefree. He had his arm around your shoulders and you had half your face buried in his chest as you both laughed about something he couldn’t remember.
Jay struggled to recognize himself.
He didn't remember what it was like to be so happy anymore, to smile so much his jaw hurt, to feel his heart full of joy. By now he no longer smiled, if it wasn't for the strained and fake smiles he addressed to colleagues and friends from time to time.
He was so fucking happy with you and he had let slip the only source of such happiness, the only person who had ever managed to make him almost touch the sky with a finger.
He wiped away a tear that had slipped down his cheek as his finger traced the outline of your figure imprinted in the picture. This was all he had left. Just some photos and videos.
You were so beautiful, the most gorgeous woman his eyes had ever had the pleasure of laying on and the way you smiled in those photos, God, your smile was breathtaking.
The movie played in the background as he continued to look back at all the photos and videos of you he had saved in his gallery for the millionth time. He would’ve let someone rip his organs out with bare hands and let them being sold on the black market if it meant having you back.
He wanted nothing more than to go back to those happy and carefree times, to those moments he seemed to take for granted.
What would he have done to be able to make you laugh like that again, to hug you so hard until he took your breath away. What would he have given to have you back with him, to be able to open the car door for you, to hear you sing all the songs you knew on the radio or to be able to take you to your favorite restaurant and watch you stuff yourself with food with your eyes shining with joy until you exploded.
What he would’ve given to see you watch your favorite movie a thousand more times and be moved every single time while he hugged you and dried the tears you always denied having.
What would he even give to see you so grumpy and sad when your period was about to come but how that nervousness instantly disappeared and how your face lit up the moment he went to your house with a bag full of chocolate and junk food.
What would he have given to be able to sleep beside you again, to be able to cradle you in his arms and whisper sweet words until you fell asleep when you weren't sleepy or when, on the contrary, you denied you were sleepy but ended up falling asleep literally three minutes later . What would he have given to open his eyes in the morning and see you lying next to him, with only the sheet covering your body, to see your hair scattered on the pillow and some strands in front of your face, or feel your scent invade his nostrils every time you were close to him.
And, damn it, he would’ve given anything to even take back your cooking and your terribly prepared dishes. He missed going to your house and seeing the kitchen upside down with literally all the dirty dishes and pots. God, you were a terrible cook but he loved so much the immense effort you put into cooking something you knew he loved and yet he still ate whatever you made for him with a smile on his face, not admitting the food was overcooked or raw or even charred, just so he could see the look of pure joy on your face as he ate it.
He had never left a single plate full.
And that was the difference between you and him.
You always tried hard for him, you always tried to improve, to bite the bullet even if you didn't like something just so as not to bother him. You did it until you reached your breaking point and he understood this, even if it was too late.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
The guilt was eating him alive. He couldn't accept in any way the most beautiful things that ever happened to him had ended that way and above all because of him.
He couldn’t stop thinking about you.
What were you doing? Were you thinking of him? Did you miss him? How were you?
It had been two fucking months since he had seen you, that he hadn't heard from you even though he had tried several times to call you and text you even though – understandably – you had never replied to him. He went to your house so many times he couldn’t count them but every single time before knocking on your door he’d froze, not knowing what to do and fearing your reaction. So he turned and walked away, not sparing himself crying like a three-year-old.
He had asked his friends with whom you had kept in touch about you but they said it wasn't their place to say things that concerned you since you two have broken up and that he had to stop hurting himself and take the matter in his hands.
Jay had stopped going out, his life was now home-work work-home. He didn't even know how he managed to do his job, let alone think about going out and sitting at a bar.
The truth was that he was scared as hell.
He was afraid to see you again, he was afraid to look at you and know you no longer gave a fuck about him, he was afraid of how he’d react after so long without seeing you.
He jumped when he heard someone knocking on the door and quickly wiped away his tears, locking the phone and throwing it on the couch before getting up and going to see who it was.
Oh, and the cell phone was new obviously. He didn't want to think back to how he had destroyed the old one by throwing it furiously against the wall.
“Will what are you doing here?” Jay asked as he opened the door and let his brother in, closing it behind him.
“Go get dressed, we’re going out.”
“I'm not going anywhere, I'm watching a movie.” He sat back on the couch, looking at the TV even though he didn't even remember the name of the movie.
“It wasn't a request Jay. I've had enough of seeing you like this. You have to take your life into your own hands, aren't you tired of this?”
Jay rolled his eyes. “Will just leave me alone please, I don't want to go out.”
Will walked over and took the remote control before turning off the TV and placing it back on the coffee table. “Like I said, it wasn't a request. Go get dressed, let's go to a bar for a drink and we are not going Molly's don't worry. You need to get out Jay, you've been doing nothing but staying inside the house for two months.”
“Will… I swear to God,” Jay scolded, feeling his anger and irritation grow more and more.
“No brother, listen to me. I know it hurts, I can only imagine how much but it's time you start to move on. I know you still love her but it's full of people out there you might know. She left you and it was probably for the best...”
Jay didn't even let him finish his sentence.
He suddenly got up and grabbed him by the shirt, seething with anger and refraining from giving him a punch just because he was his brother.
“If you know what's best for you, don't even dare to finish the sentence,” he spat through clenched teeth and Will nodded, knowing he was in no condition to think clearly. Jay let him go but the anger was still there.
“Jay, listen I'm sorry…”
“No fuck you! How can you think it’s better this way? How could you say that! She is the best for me, if it’s not her I don't want anyone else. After all this time, you know what I’ve been through since we were just friend, you know how I won't be able to love anyone like I love her so stop trying to pair me with someone every fucking opportunity you get, I'm sick of it!”.
Will nodded, feeling guilty for pushing his brother so hard. “I’m sorry Jay, you’re right I went too far but I’m just worried about you. I hate seeing you this way and I wasn't kidding about taking back your life. You can't keep going like this,” he said “Let's at least go have a drink and get some fresh air, I promise I won't say anything else.”
So this was how Jay found himself sitting at a bar he had never been to before with his brother – who had also invited other friends besides those from the unit – regretting the fucking moment he agreed with that shit.
Hailey was there too but he didn't even say hello to her or gave her single glance. He didn't care although he knew she had nothing to do with it but he couldn't help but feel resentment towards her.
Don't blame others for your bullshit and for not being able to keep your girlfriend, his conscience added.
Jay ended up drinking and getting drunk until he couldn't stand without help. He wasn't the type to drink but in that moment he would’ve done anything to just stop thinking about you even for just a minute. But the thing was that even when he was drunk he couldn't stop blurting out your name and not think about you, so this was no use.
Will ended up letting him sleep at his house, not feeling like leaving him alone, a chasm in his heart while looking at his brother reduced to that state and not being able to do anything to help him.
“Oh Y/n what have you done do to my brother,” he sighed before casting one last glance at Jay asleep on the bed in the guest room before closing the door behind him.
But if only Will had known what conditions you were in too, he would’ve asked this same question to you.
What have Jay done to you?
In the two months after the breakup, not a day had gone by without not wanting him back and cry in his arms, telling him you regretted leaving him.
It was hard, damn it was, but you had to be strong.
You didn't know how you didn't give in but no matter how much you loved him, no matter how much your heart ached agonizingly, you couldn't go back, not if there was no change.
You believed that at least after the break up he’d try to fight for your relationship, that he’d demonstrate he loved you as much as he professed but you started to wonder if it was even true or not.
The passing of those two months could be compared to riding a roller coaster. One day you were angry like never before, another you seemed to feel better, another you had to ask for a work leave because you had spent the night crying all the tears you had in your body until you didn't even have the strength to get up the next morning.
You had also discovered that alcohol could be a good companion but after three weeks of continuous drinking and you calling some of your friends in tears, you realized it really wasn't that good and it made you think of Jay more than you normally did. You lost count of the number of times your friends had taken your cell phone from you to prevent you from calling Jay in your drunken state.
But you missed that bastard son of a bitch so much.
And you hated yourself because you couldn't hate him even when he had made you suffer.
You asked yourself so many times if it had been the right decision, if you hadn't made it too hastily, letting yourself be guided solely by your negative emotions.
No, your conscience quickly intervened when these thoughts crept into your mind.
You had already spoken up to him many times, you had explained to him how uncomfortable his friendship with Hailey made you feel but he had decided to ignore your words and not give importance to them. All of this hurt you so damn much, especially knowing he didn't care enough like you thought he did.
It didn't matter how much you had to suffer, this wasn’t what you wanted for yourself.
You didn't want to have to beg for his attention, you didn't want to have to tearfully tell him every single time how bad the way he talked and laughed with her made you feel or how ignored you felt sometimes. You wanted a carefree love, you wanted a love where the person next to you took you above all others, a love where your man saw no other person but you, you wanted a love so intense you had to be the center of his world.
And you really thought you won the lottery with Jay.
He was the perfect man for you, or at least he had been for the first few months. God what would you have given to relive those times. They were pure heaven, you felt like you were constantly floating on clouds, almost exploding with happiness. You really felt like the center of his world and you wondered what had happened, why everything had fallen apart.
Maybe you were too pretentious, maybe you lived too much on fairy tales and romance novels, maybe you were destined to be alone and not meet anyone who’d give you what you wanted. Maybe you had to settle down and lower your expectations.
But no, damn it, you’d didn’t want to do that.
You’d never settle for a mediocre love or a person who gave you the bare minimum, even if it meant dying alone.
You knew Jay was and would forever be the one and only, you wouldn’t be able to love anyone like you loved him.
“Y/n you still there?” Stella's voice brought you back to reality.
“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just… A little bit lost in my thoughts.”
You and Stella were taking a walk in the park after your shift, even though it was cold. You had initially refused, wanting nothing more than to go home and cry yourself to sleep as you looked at the photos of you with Jay and regretted the love you had probably lost forever. But Stella didn't want to listen and you had to thank her. You wouldn't have known what to do if she hadn't been there in those two months. She had truly become your rock.
“Don't worry, I get it,” she replied with a sweet smile on her face. “You want to tell me what were you thinking about?”.
“No, I don't really want to talk about it, I've already stressed you out enough with this whole thing,” you said, putting your frozen hands in your jacket’s pockets. There was almost no one in that park if it hadn't been for a few passers-by who were taking their dog for a walk.
Autumn had already begun, the trees were mostly almost all bare from their leaves and you couldn't help but feel like them. Empty, bare, devoid of any emotion other than a sense of loss and profound sadness.
I hate you Jay Halstead.
And I also love you so damn much.
“Y/n I told you a thousand times not to keep things inside, I'm here and I’ll happily listen to you, don't think for a second you can be a burden to me.”
You turned to her and gave her a smile, perhaps one of the only sincere ones you'd given in the last two months. You felt your eyes fill with tears and you cursed yourself for feeling so emotional, how you seemed to do anything but cry at the smallest thing.
She understood you instantly, even when you looked away from her and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving you an encouraging hug.
You let out a sigh as the cold air prickled your face, immediately wiping away a lone tear that slid down your cheek.
“I don’t know Stella, I’m so confused…” you started to speak “I miss him so much and I… I wonder when I’ll stop feeling this way.”
“I know you miss him, it's natural Y/n. Don't pressure yourself about this, give yourself time to get over it, it's only been two months,” she paused for a moment, giving you a look, “But you don't want to get over it, do you?”.
How did she know exactly how you felt?
You nodded feebly, feeling terribly stupid.
“I don't want to go on without him, I don't know how to do it... He made me feel like shit and all I can think about is that I’d love nothing more than for him to knock on my door,” you spoke, giving voice to your thoughts “I feel so stupid because I should be mad at him and fuck I am, I wish he had fought for us, I wish he hadn't limited himself to few stupid calls and texts, I wish he had listened to me when I talked to him about our problems, but… God, at the same time if he came back I know I’d go back to him in a heartbeat because I don't know how to be without him...” tears were now streaming down your face and Stella listened to you carefully while she continued to keep her arm around your shoulder. “Am I being crazy?”.
“Oh darling, of course you aren’t. Like I said, it is more than normal, in fact I’d be worried if you didn't feel this way.”
“Was I stupid to leave him?”.
“No, you did the right thing if that’s what you felt, I would probably have done the same thing if Kelly did this or worse. Even if you love Jay to death that doesn't mean you have to spend your relationship feeling anxious every time you see him with Hailey or constantly worrying that something might happen between the two of them, or asking him to spend time with you and take you on dates or something like that. It's best to set the record straight from the start, if there's one thing you shouldn't do it's keep it all inside you. Just know that sooner or later you will explode and believe me, if you had done this the outcome would’ve been far worse.”
“I know, I know… You’re right,” you sighed “But when will this end?” you sniffed at the same time she handed you a tissue.
“I wish I could answer that Y/n, but unfortunately this is love. It's beautiful and ugly, it's joy and pain. I always thought love and hate were two sides of the same coin and it doesn't take much to erase the line between them,” she sighed, feeling sorry for you.
“Well, love sucks right now.”
You both let out a laugh and you dried you tears, again. “Trust me honey I know but… Can I tell you what I think?”.
“Yes, please.”
“I think if fate wants it, it’ll bring you back together. Darling, you two broke up not because the love ended but because you reached the breaking point after so much tension and arguments. I’m one hundred percent sure that everything happened between you was due to communication problems: he didn't fully understand your problems and you didn't have the patience to make him understand them,” she softly spoke.
“Unfortunately, you have to understand you’re two different people honey and as such you have different thoughts and views of life so what’s important for you doesn’t mean it will be as much as important for him and vice versa. He wasn’t good at understanding this and I think this was his fault; he had to put himself in your shoes, and you couldn't take it the fact he didn’t immediately get why his relationship with Hailey – along with other issues – made you feel the way you felt,” she took a pause while you listened with meticulous attention to every single word.
“He was superficial, this is true, but his problem didn't come from this. Think for a second how it must’ve felt to be constantly accused of something that I myself am certain isn’t the truth, to feel the lack of trust from the person you love,” she continued to speak as you both kept waking slowly.
“Y/n that man lives and breathes for you, his heart beats for no one but you, I see the way he looks at you and the way he talks about you when you’re not there. I saw the way he’s struggling right now and I’m very sure if you called him this very moment he’d be here begging you on his knees to come back with him. I’m not on his side though, like I said, I really think you guys just had communication issues and you need a little more patience with each other. I'm not saying you didn't do the right thing, on the contrary, I think this breakup however painful, could be the turning point for you and I'm one hundred percent sure you’ll get back together, just mark my words.”
-
You spent the following weekend locked in your house avoiding any social interaction.
You did nothing but think over and over again about Stella's words during your walk and you would’ve been lying if you said the idea of calling Jay or going to him hadn't crossed your mind more intensely than before.
You didn't do it though, fear and pride blocking you.
What if he had moved on? What if he had already forgotten about you? What if he hooked up with Hailey?
No, no, no, fuck no.
These questions continued to haunt you and were what stopped you from doing something stupid. You wouldn't have been able to bear it, you weren't ready to know this and probably never would’ve been.
It had been two months since you had seen him or heard from him but every time you wanted to ask your friends about him you stopped yourself out of pure selfishness, because you were afraid of the answer. You knew if they answered those unexpressed questions and make your fears reality, it would’ve killed you. You’d never recover, no matter how dramatic and absurd that sounded.
Selfishly speaking, you hoped he was feeling as shitty as you were, just because that would’ve meant he still cared about you and that you were still somewhere in his mind like he was constantly in yours.
Monday came slowly and you were never so grateful for it, feared that if you were left alone with your mind another day you’d shoot your brain out with a rifle.
You entered the shower with the intention of washing yourself quickly, trying to ignore the memories of the ones you took with Jay.
“God please, stop,” you whispered to yourself. Why didn’t it get easier? Why couldn't you do anything without some fucking thing reminding you of him? Why couldn't you just forget?
You burst into tears, letting them mix with the tap water that wet your face. You leaned against the cold tiles, as you sobbed into your hands covering your face.
You couldn't take it anymore.
It was getting unbearable.
You placed a hand at your heart level, feeling how it was beating wildly. Your chest rose and fell rapidly and as numerous sobs came out of your mouth and copious tears from your eyes, you started to feel the horrible sensation of not being able to breathe, as if the walls had suddenly started to close around you.
You were familiar with that feeling unfortunately, it wasn't the first time it had happened to you in those last two months and all you could do was just let it happen, sit on the ground and wait for it to pass.
And that was exactly what you did, sitting on the floor of the shower, letting the water hit your back until it got cold and you calmed down.
When you arrived at work you felt like a zombie.
You hadn't had breakfast, your twisted stomach prevented you from being able to swallow any food, and you felt rather weak.
Absurdly you hoped there would be an accident, a fire, any kind of thing that would allow you to keep your mind occupied for at least a few hours.
And for once in your life, fate seemed to follow your will.
Your team was called to the scene of an accident that very morning, a couple of hours after you arrived at the fire station. It was a road accident, a car had crashed into a guardrail and the victim was trapped in the vehicle.
When you arrived at the crime scene it started raining, making that shitty day even shittier.
You didn't have time to think about the rain, you had a person to save but it made the job even more difficult. The car was completely destroyed in the front and there were pieces of glass from the car windows and braking marks on the asphalt, making you wonder how fast the driver was going to end up in that state. You were even surprised he was still alive.
“Hey buddy just hang on okay? We'll get you out of there, just hold on for a few minutes and don't make sudden movements,” you tried to reassure him, slightly leaning forward so you could look at him. The driver was a boy who couldn’t have exceeded the age of twenty and he was about to have a panic attack. You didn't blame him though, no one would want to be in that situation.
“Get me out of here!” He kept screaming.
You and the other firefighters on the scene worked together to get the victim out of the car which was now reduced to a pile of scrap that looked more like a can of tuna.
You managed to get him out of the car but not before putting a collar around his neck to stabilize the cervical vertebrae in case they were fractured. You and your colleague, Alex, removed him from the car and immediately placed him on the stretcher, locking the straps around his body.
Even though he was almost out of danger, the stranger continued to move, shouting to let him go.
“Hey, hey, hey! Listen to me! It's okay, you're safe now. They’ll take you to the hospital where they’ll treat you okay?” You tried for the umpteenth time to calm the boy down before looking at the paramedics and nodding at them, signing they could finally transport the victim on the ambulance.
“Y/n! Come here!” Alex's voice caught your attention and you joined him towards the crashed car.
“Am I tripping or does this look like blood?” He asked, pointing to the rear trunk which was closed and from which streams of what certainly appeared to be blood were coming out.
“Holy shit,” you let out and you both exchanged a worried look. “Take the crowbar.”
With no small amount of ease you managed to open the trunk and nothing could have prepared you for what you found yourselves facing.
“Fuck!” “Oh shit!” You and Alex exclaimed almost at the same time, covering your noses from the nauseating smell that had hit you right in the face, simultaneously taking steps backwards.
There was a fucking dead body in the trunk of that car and in that moment you understood why the driver was so agitated and in a hurry to run away.
“Call the police.”
It was the Intelligence who intervened at the crime scene and it wasn't even necessary to say you were a bundle of nerves. Your stomach was churning in anxiety as you tried to stay calm, the thought of having to see Jay again almost made you throw up.
You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Antonio arrive alone, fuck, you weren't ready to face Jay, not on the crime scene where you had found a body.
“Mornin’ guys. So what do we have here?” Antonio asked as soon as he greeted you and Alex. He gave you a longer look than usual, giving you a smile that screamed pity and sorrow.
God, did you look that bad?
Alex explained the situation and everything that happened while you listened. The rain was incessant and by now all your hair was sticking to your forehead even though it was tied up in a ponytail. The cold was almost unbearable even though you were wearing your uniform jacket which was quite heavy.
You were talking to Antonio after Alex got back to your other colleagues when you saw him and you almost had a heart attack.
Jay.
You froze in place, feeling all your muscles suddenly atrophy and paralyze. You blinked several times, fearing you were having a hallucination.
“Y/n? You okay?” Antonio's voice reached your ears very far away, your attention focused on the only person who had ever made your heart beat so fast you feared it’d stop.
You know when you hear in a movie the characters say time stops when they see the person they love?
You had always thought it was just a cliché thing but in that moment you really realized how truth that statement was.
Everything seemed to disappear, rain evaporated, people vanished.
It was two months. Two months of not seeing him. Two months of pure torture and hell and now he was there in front of you, beautiful as the sun.
He was wearing a jacket whose pockets he had put his hands in, a hood covering his hair as he walked towards the yellow police tape. He put a hand out of his pocket to lift it and go under it after nodding to the cops, tucking his hand back into his pocket immediately afterwards.
You felt your knees give away and you didn't know how you managed not to collapse there in front of everyone.
But it was when your eyes met that your breath was completely knocked out of your lungs.
Jay stopped in his tracks instantly, as if he'd bumped into something. He couldn't help but widen his eyes and part his lips as his brain processed the vision in front of him.
Was it really you? Wasn't he dreaming?
The cold vanished almost instantly as a sensation of heat coursed through his body, causing every cell in his system to light up on fire. He didn't expect to see you, not like that and not after two months.
He had to repress the desire to run to you and throw himself at your feet and pray for your forgiveness. He was overwhelmed by a wave of emotions.
Happiness.
Sadness.
Repentance.
Emptiness.
Anger.
Pain.
The memories of your last meeting overwhelmed him. His heart shattered even more than it already was when he remembered the last time he had seen and spoken to you, you both had shouted the worst evil things at each other.
It's over.
Even from afar your eyes managed to hypnotize him but he couldn't help but notice how the light that characterized them, that light in those eyes he continuously dreamed about and which he still loved with all his being, had disappeared.
And it was his fault, he was the one who did this to you.
He had noticed the dark circles surrounding your eyes, perhaps even worse than his, and guilt was added to all those feelings he felt.
It was all his fault.
His eyes filled with tears when you looked away, wanting nothing more than to run away and cry.
He saw Antonio turn towards him and give him a look before returning his attention to you and saying something. Jay didn't have the strength to get closer, the fear was paralyzing him. He couldn’t even let out a sound.
But how much he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs how much he loved you, so deeply you made completely lose his mind to the point he couldn’t breathe without you, sleep, or even eat.
He just stood there like an idiot while staring at you, not moving a single muscle.
You’re so fucking mesmerizing Y/n. How can someone be so beautiful?
You said something to Antonio and looked at Jay again before turning your back and walking away, joining the rest of your colleagues who were about to go back to the fire station.
“Halstead you okay?” Antonio asked as he approached him but Jay didn't even seem to listen to him as his eyes were following your every move. “Jay.”
“I'm fine,” he murmured, never taking his eyes off you. You were taking some tools he couldn't even identify and loading it onto the fire truck.
“Jay, man, look at me please.”
But he didn't.
He didn't take his eyes off you until you got into the truck and drove away, not before you exchanged another look.
Jay let out a sigh he didn't even know he was holding, then ran his hands over his face wet because of the rain.
He looked at the gray sky for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in an attempt to regain control of himself.
He hated all of this. He hated you still had so much control over him, his thoughts, how you managed to mess him up so badly he couldn't properly function anymore. You had such power over him and you didn't even know it. How the fuck could you even doubt he didn't care about you?
“I’m sorry,” he murmured when he realized how idiotic he must have looked.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“How is she?”.
Antonio sighed. “She… She’s not doing very well Jay, she was shaking when she saw you. Why don't you just talk to her and solve your problems? It's so obvious that neither of you are over it yet.”
It was now late afternoon and Jay was out of his mind.
For the rest of the day he thought of nothing but you and meeting you that morning. Even as the team investigated the case about the body you found, everyone had noticed how his mind was totally elsewhere.
He said something from time to time, participating in the investigations when he seemed to wake up from his thoughts and then immediately distanced himself from them again.
He didn't miss Voight's lecture, who chided him about how distracted he had been lately. He told him he understood the hard time he was going through but that he should leave his problems outside the district.
He was quite understanding, even when Jay came to him and told him he no longer wanted to be partnered with Hailey, but enough was enough. Jay had to be concentrated, he couldn't afford distractions in a job like his because just one small mistake could’ve cost him his life.
“What happened man? You seem even more out of your mind than usual today,” Adam stated when he entered the break room and saw his friend sitting on the small sofa, looking down and a cup of steaming coffee in his hands.
“I saw her,” Jay replied softly.
“What? Seriously? When? Have you guys talked?”.
Jay shook his head. “This morning, at the crime scene, she was one of the firefighters there,” he sighed as his mind was haunted by your eyes “We didn't talk. I just looked at her from afar.”
Adam sighed as he poured himself some coffee too. “How much longer are you planning to go on like this? You're becoming unbearable Halstead.”
“Excuse me?”.
“Yes, you heard me mate. You’ve been a pain the ass. Either you get back with her or move on, just stop crying to yourself like a baby and do something. Are you waiting for a fucking miracle to get you back together? Then you can wait forever because it will never happen. You make your own destiny.”
Jay looked at him not knowing whether to laugh or feeling offended.
But damn, was he right.
He was tired of feeling this way, of this continuing suffering, of being without you. It had been too long and he didn't want to live that way anymore. He no longer wanted to wake up in the morning and constantly wonder when the damn day would end, he no longer wanted to roll over in bed and not seeing you lying next to him, he no longer wanted to wake up in the middle of the night because of some nightmare where you were happily in love with another man.
He wanted to be your man, he wanted to give you all the happiness you deserved, he wanted to be the one to give you everything you needed.
He had been so stupid for even letting this much time pass.
All he had to do was go to you and do everything within his power to make you truly trust him again, to proving you how much he loved you, how much his world revolved only around you, how much only you made him happy.
Either it was you or he’d die in total solitude and he didn't want that. He wanted to be with you, he wanted to die like a decrepit old man while he held your hand.
He hadn't spent so many years of friendship longing for you only to give up like that and let you go, he couldn't do that. He didn’t want to live with that ‘if’, with the fear of taking a few steps towards you because he was afraid of your rejection, even if it would’ve hurt him, he wanted to give his all.
For this reason he placed the cup of coffee on the table and ran away at the speed of light, leaving Adam standing there who, however, immediately understood the intentions of his friend and grinned to himself.
Jay didn't bother wearing his jacket or getting an umbrella to protect himself from the rain that was pouring incessantly since the morning, not caring about anything other than coming to you.
Although it was only 5:30 PM, it was already dark outside. The rain was pounding so hard the walk from the district to his car was enough to get him soaked from head to toe.
If in other moments he would’ve torn a limb rather than get into the car with his soaked clothes and wet the seats, in that instant it was the last thing on his mind. He thought about how you’d react seeing him in that situation, he knew you’d tease him forever. Just the thought made him smile.
It was Monday and he knew you had a double shift that day so he drove to the fire station at the speed of light, hoping to find you there. He didn't care you were in the middle of the shift, he just needed to see you.
He parked the car crookedly, got out and ran towards the fire station. The first person he met was Stella, who looked at him with a weird look as soon as she noticed the condition he was in.
“Stella, hi... Where is Y/n? I need to talk to her.”
He gave her a confused look at her when he saw her slightly grinning as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Finally Halstead, took you long enough don't you think? Two months…”
“I know, I've been a stupid piece of shit,” he interrupted her not being able to contain himself anymore “But please tell me where she is.”
“She went home an hour and a half ago, she said she wasn't feeling well.”
Worry took over. “Wait what? Did something happened?”.
Stella rolled her eyes. “You're such an idiot Jay. Physically she's fine, emotionally not much and it's because of you,” she pointed her index finger at his chest. “You better fix the mess you've made.”
He felt like shit, more than he already was. He hated the thought of you being in pain, especially because of him. “I'll try, if she still wants to talk to me.”
“She has every reason not to,” Stella commented.
He nodded. She was right. “She’s home right?”.
“Last time I checked, yes.”
“Thank you Stella.”
Jay started to walk away but her voice made him stop.
“I never want to see her cry again Jay so if you don't believe in what you're doing and if you think you can't give her what she needs you better turn around and drive your stupid ass back to your house,” she threatened him. “She wouldn't be able to go through everything she's been through these past few months again, so I'm warning you, I'll rip your balls off and make you wear them like earrings if you make her suffer again.”
“I'm not going to Stella, she…” he sighed trying to find the right words to describe how he felt about you “She is my whole world, I've never been as sure of anything as I am of how much I love her, I just want her back.”
Stella nodded. “Now go.”
When Jay arrived outside your apartment building, a wave of relief went through him as he noticed your car was parked in its usual spot. But it was soon replaced by disappointment when after knocking your door several times there was no answer.
He thought about calling you but he didn't want to scare you away, he didn't want you to have the chance to escape since he wanted to talk to you at all costs.
He went outside again, and sat on the steps outside the main entrance waiting for you, his head bowed as droplets of water were falling on the asphalt. He luckily managed to sit where the rain wouldn’t come although the still soaked clothes were starting to bother him. He didn't care though, this was truly the last thing on his mind.
Where were you? Were you alone? Were you with anyone else?
He shook his head. He didn't even want to think about it, knowing he’d most likely get a life sentence without parole if he ever saw another man next to you.
He didn’t also want to think it wouldn’t be his businesses since you two weren’t together anymore.
Contrary to what Jay thought, you had just gone for a walk, unable to stay at home since you were afraid if you were left alone with your thoughts again you’d go crazy. You thought you were stupid for asking to leave early from work so you could stay at home and rest but then didn't want to stay because the anguish was so intense you couldn't even sit still.
So you ended up taking an umbrella and going out for a walk, without a specific destination. You just wanted to clear your head and get some fresh air. Even though the rain was bothering you since that morning, you still loved the sound of it and the smell it left in the air.
Seeing Jay had shocked you more than you would’ve ever imagined, even though you knew quite well how it’d end. You had wondered numerous times what it’d be like to meet him again after two months of not hearing from him, you knew it wouldn't be easy, but you didn't think it would’ve such a deep effect on you to not even let you do your job.
It was as if you jumped back to the day you broke up and that very little progress you had made over the course of those months disintegrated as soon as you met his beautiful eyes.
You walked for a time that seemed infinite to you even though barely an hour had passed and when your hands started to lose sensitivity due to the cold, you decided it was the time to head back home.
The journey to your apartment building took longer than expected, not in a hurry to return to those four cold walls as you knew the rough night awaited you. That is, crying and alcohol.
But if you had known what – or rather who – awaited you, you would’ve run until your lungs burned.
“Jay…”
You almost had a heart attack when you noticed the figure sitting on those steps, recognizing immediately the very and only man who managed to take your breath away and the ground off your feet with just a look.
You immediately saw how soakes wet his clothes were and how he wasn't even wearing a jacket over his long-sleeved shirt and your heart ached painfully.
How long was he there?
He shoot his gaze up from the ground when he heard your voice, fearing for a moment it was too good to be true and you weren't really there. He stood up quickly, standing in front of you.
“What are you doing here?” You asked with a shaky voice, struggling to hold the eye contact. Why did you want to cry so suddenly?
“I… I’m sorry for popping in here unannounced, I need to talk to you.”
Your stomach tightened in a vice, though you knew you had no other choice. You had to do it, you needed it too.
You nodded. “Let's go upstairs though.” You continued, feeling your heart break at thought he might catch something.
He nodded back and at the same time let out a sneeze before looking down in embarrassment. If it wasn’t for the fact you had broken up badly and this was the first time you interacted since that faithful day, you would’ve found it funny.
You closed your umbrella and entered your apartment building, aware Jay was behind you, and you both walked up to your home in complete silence.
Jay almost burst into tears when you opened the door and let him in, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over him. He could smell your scent perfectly – well it was normal since it was your house – but he missed it so fucking much he thought he’d collapse on the floor.
He looked around, noticing everything was the same, but different at the same time. Two months had passed since he had set foot in that house but it seemed like an eternity since it had been the worst time of his life.
Silence reigned supreme as he looked at you taking off your jacket and hung it on the coat rack, after placing the wet umbrella in its stand.
You disappeared into your room for a moment and he stood there frozen, not knowing what to do.
He hated that feeling so fucking much, he hated not knowing how to act around you, what to say or what to do. You had always been his best friend, the person he felt most at peace with, you were the love of his life and yet at that moment he couldn't even look at you in the eyes without feeling like complete shit.
“I brought you some dry clothes, you can go change and put the wet ones in the dryer,” you said as soon as you walked out of your room, holding some folded clothes that Jay immediately recognized as his.
A little hope lit up inside him.
You still had his clothes, a black t-shirt and sweatpants. He had even forgotten you had them in first place but the relief and joy he felt from that small gesture almost made him burst into tears.
God I feel like a fucking emotional teenage girl.
“I thought you threw them away,” he replied, moving closer to you. You shook your head, but didn't look at him, too embarrassed to do it. If only he had known you had spent nights wearing those clothes and smelling his scent while crying yourself to sleep.
He took them and as he did it your hands touched.
You both tried to maintain a neutral facade but from the brief glance you exchanged you knew it affected both of you at the same way. It was as if an electric shock ran through your bodies and that small, almost imperceptible touch was enough to throw both of you into a whirlwind of indescribable emotions.
“Uhm… I-I… Well… I’ll just go,” he stammered before running to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Y/n what are you doing to me,” he whispered, resting his forehead on the door as he caught his breath.
You let out a deep breath you didn't realize you were holding, placing a hand on your chest in an attempt to slow down your heart that was beating so hard it felt like it wanted to escape from your rib cage.
“I need a drink,” you said to yourself and went to the kitchen with the intention of drinking something strong.
You were still processing what was happening.
Jay was at your house.
Your ex-boyfriend and the love of your fucking life was at your house, in your bathroom, changing his wet clothes.
You tried to convince yourself it was reality and not just your dream as you poured some whiskey into a glass and downed it in one gulp like a shot.
You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't even realize Jay was back. You gave him a look, cursing yourself as you did since Jay in black was one of your weaknesses.
Lord please have mercy on my poor soul.
“How long have you been a whiskey drinker?”.
“Do you really want to know?” You responded with another question, looking up at him and taking another shot of alcohol, the burn along your throat now quite familiar.
You looked at each other for a few seconds and he shook his head slightly, knowing full well the answer to that question. He lowered his eyes to the floor, the guilt too strong.
“You want something?” You politely asked as you closed the bottle.
“No, thank you.” He wanted to talk to you as clearly as possible.
You nodded and placed the dirty glass in the sink.
Silence reigned supreme again and you walked past him before going into the living room and sitting on the couch. Your palms were sweating and you wondered why this had to be so damn hard.
Jay followed you like a puppy, but remained standing.
“You can sit Jay.”
He never thought about it but his name never sounded so wonderful until he heard you say it. Everything that came out of your lips was pure poetry to his ears, except when you insulted him, that was like getting stabbed by thousands knives.
He sat down on the couch, painfully far away from you.
“How are you?“ Was the first thing Jay asked and he mentally smacked himself on the forehead for his stupidity. He hadn't seen you for two months after you two had a horrible breakup and the smartest thing he could think of was ‘how are you?’.
Fucking dumbass.
You raised your head and your eyes met his, looking at him with an indecipherable expression. “You want the honest truth?”.
“Always.”
“Not very good Jay,” you gave a fake tight half smile “And now that you're here even less so.”
He sighed, obviously expecting this response, leaning back on the couch as he thought about what he could say.
“I'm sorry.” Was all he could spit out.
You imitated his gesture and leaned against the back of the sofa too, crossing your fingers over your belly while your eyes were fixed on the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen.
You both remained silent for a moment. You looking at the ceiling and him looking at you.
With his eyes he traced the outline of your profile in meticulous detail, thinking about how much he missed being able to be close to you and look at you. He analyzed every inch of skin of your face, taking pictures with his gaze with the hope of imprinting them all in his memory in case he was no longer able to look at you like that.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” you asked, not looking at him.
He had to bite his tongue to keep from telling you how beautiful you were, fearing he’d get nothing more than a slap in the face, probably deserved too.
“So many things but I don’t know where to begin, I… I had a speech but I can’t even remember my own name now.”
You turned your head towards him and you looked at each other for a while in a way Jay couldn’t decipher, making him wish he could read your mind.
Your eyes never left each other as silence filled the room, the air was so tense it could be cut with a knife.
“How did we end up like this Jay?” It was you who broke the silence after a while, your voice so low you thought he hadn't even heard you.
“It was my fault,” he replied without hesitation “I… You were right Y/n, I was a shitty boyfriend,” he continued referring to what you had told him that fateful morning.
“No, it was my…”
“No bab- Y/n…” he tried to correct himself but it was too late because your heart had already skipped a beat. “I won't let you think it was your fault. I neglected you, I took you for granted, I was arrogant enough to think that once we got together we could just be happy without any effort. But I was wrong, I didn't realize I had hurt you so much and believe me... Please believe me, I’ll spend the rest of my days beating myself for this.”
“I hurt you too…” you whispered, feeling your eyes full of tears and afraid you’d start crying at any moment.
His chest tightened as he saw your sad expression and God only knew how much he wanted to hug you, holding you so tightly to his chest until he’d make all your pain go away.
He shook his head. “You were just angry, now I know, I understand it. I know your constant arguing with me was your way of telling me I wasn't doing enough for you and I'm sorry for putting you through all of this… I… I'm sorry for making you doubt me and I’ll never forgive myself for that Y/n because I lost the best thing that ever happened to me in life.”
Hearing those words made those little defenses you had managed to built collapse. You got up suddenly as tears ran down your cheeks, wiping them away in the process. You stood by the window, turning your back to him so he wouldn't see you.
He stood up right after you and carefully approached you. He moved his hands with the intention of resting them on your shoulders to comfort you but he stopped, not wanting to overstep your boundaries and make the situation even worse.
“Look at me Y/n please, I need to look into your eyes,” he whispered in a pleading tone. You quickly wiped your tears with your palms and turned to him, but kept your gaze lowered. “Hey…” He called your attention and you finally looked up at him. Your eyes were incredibly shiny from the tears but they had never been more beautiful than they were in that moment and finally being able to look at them so closely was like being punched in the stomach.
“I don't blame you, I don't blame you for a single thing you did or said, I hope you know that. I'm angry at myself for not giving you what you needed and for not realizing in time you were slipping through my fingers,” he confessed, “I haven't been fair to you, I've been superficial and selfish and… I stupidly thought our love would be enough for everything to go easy, but I was so wrong, because love is not just this, love is also understanding, patience, compromise and I failed giving you this...” he talked so softly it made your heart hurt.
Tears continued to leak from your eyes down your cheeks as you listened to the words you had wanted to hear for so long. This was all you ever wanted.
“I hate seeing you like this and I hate myself more for being the cause of it,” he continued in a whisper as the lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything else. “Can I?”.
You nodded without even knowing what he was referring to and your subconscious cursed you for reacting so quickly to whatever he said.
He lifted his hands and cupped them gently on your face, wiping away every tear with his thumbs with so gentle movements you thought you were dreaming of his touch.
You closed your eyes at that touch while at the same time letting out a sigh of relief. It didn't matter how long you denied it to yourself, you missed that man like oxygen, you were nothing without him.
“I hope you'll forgive me one day even though I know I don't deserve it…” his voice broke at the last words and with a blow to your heart you realized that he too was crying.
“Jay don't-…” you managed to mutter with a shaky voice.
“No, wait, please, let me talk,” he interrupted you, sniffling and never leaving your gaze “I need to tell you these things, I need you to know how much I care about you and how much I love you. I…” he stopped again, unable to continue moving forward and lowered his gaze, not being able to look at you anymore.
“Can I?” You whispered back and his eyes met yours again, chuckling through his tears before nodding. That time you were the one wiping away his tears with your fingers, gently stroking his skin with your thumbs, enjoying that sensation you missed so badly.
“Fuck baby, I don't deserve you.” He murmured hoarsely. “But I'm too selfish to let you go.”
His thumbs continued to caress your cheeks as you slid your arms to your sides.
“Let me decide that.”
“Before you do I want you to know I’ve never for a second stopped thinking about you. These past months have been pure hell, a fucking nightmare and I deserve it, for the way I treated you but I'm so pissed at myself because you didn't deserve it at all,” He croaked “I disrespected you by not respecting your wishes, and not giving your feelings the importance they deserved but I swear to you Y/n, I swear to you because you’re the most important person in my fucking life,” he looked intensely into your eyes, so much as if he somehow hoped you could read his soul. “Nothing has ever happened with Hailey or any other woman and I am so sorry I made you doubt it with the way I acted.”
“You’re the only woman of my life, you’re the woman I want to build my future with, you’re the woman I want to marry, you’re the woman I want to be the mother of my children, you’re the woman with whom I want to grow old and with whom I want to die,” he spat out as more lonely tears marked his cheeks, tears you immediately took and wiped away without hesitation. He softly smiled, making your heart race and your breath quicken, as he leaned against your touch.
“I can't exist without you, I can't function if you're not here baby and I wish I could let you into my head and heart… Fuck… You wouldn't doubt for even a second every fucking cell of my body don't have your name written on them I swear. You own me, in a way you’ll never imagine.”
You couldn't answer the question of how you were still standing as with each passing second you felt your knees buckle more and more. You were a crying mess, you couldn’t even look at him properly because of your blurred vision.
“I've been a selfish son of a bitch but I swear to you, and please believe me, there hasn't been a time since I first saw you that night at Molly's years ago that you haven't been in my mind. You came into my life like a hurricane Y/n and from the first time you smiled at me I never doubted for a second I finally met the love of my life, the greatest I could ever ask for.”
His fingers caressed your hair while you feared you’d have a heart attack at any moment.
“I know these will probably be empty words but if only you’d give me a chance my little angel, I promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and give you everything you deserve,” he whispered “I'm not giving up on us, even if now...
The ringing of his cell phone interrupted him and he let out a “Fucking hell” before taking it from his trouser pocket.
Contrary to what you expected, he rejected the call without no hesitation or even looking who it was and threw the phone on the sofa, not caring it bounced and then fell on the floor.
“I'm sorry…” he looked at you again.
“Why didn't you answer?”.
“Because I don't care about anyone else beside you right now.”
“But what if it was important?”.
“Nothing is more important than you Y/n, I hope I can convince you of that one day.”
“But…”
“Nothing but baby,” he placed his hands on your face again, freezing when he realized what he had just said “S-sorry I…” He didn’t realize it but he had already said it few other times.
You tried to hold back a smile and shook your head, letting him know it didn’t bother you. In fact, the way that pet name made you feel was something indescribable.
“I don’t want you to think I was thinking about her but Hailey’s not my partner anymore.”
He dropped this news like a bomb without even finished what he was saying earlier, leaving you in shock, not expecting something like this at all. “What? Why?”.
“Because it's something that bothers you.”
“Jay it didn't bother me she was your partner but…”
“I know,” he interrupted you, “It bothers you the way I behaved with her even though it meant absolutely nothing to me, the fact I was with you and when she called me I answered her, that I gave her a ride her, and all the things that happened. I know, I get it now, and this was fucked up on my part and I only now understand how you felt about it and I'm so sorry...”
“I'm glad you understand now but you still didn't even have to change partners Jay.”
“Y/n, I know it. I know it wasn't even necessary not to speak to her anymore except for something related to work but this is what I wanted and want to do. It might be dramatic but for me it's the least I can do for you,” he spoke in a firm and decisive tone “I had to set some boundaries, show you respect and understand how much all of this hurt you. I had to understand it was something that deeply troubled you instead of fueling your fears and making you feel like you were a burden.”
You looked at him with shock.
Who the hell was this man?
“You come first angel, everything else is worth less than a zero for me. I now get that if something hurts you than I have to figh tooth and nail to prove to you that whatever goes through this little head will never make me stop loving you, caring about you or needing you more than the air I breathe, so if you tell me my partnership with Hailey is bothering you, I'll get rid of it.”
“But it's not fair you… You don’t have to give up your friendship with her for me. I don't want you to have to deprive yourself of all this Jay, I never asked for this...”
“…You just wanted to be reassured,” he continued the sentence for you and you nodded feebly. “But listen to me. I know you didn't ask me, no one did, I decided to do it and there won't be anything that will make me change my mind. Y/n I want to do everything I can to make you trust me again, I don't care what it entails, even if it means burning up the whole world to the ground I will do it, without hesitation. I want you to understand that nothing’s more important to me than you, that you come above anyone else. Please, I don't want and I can't be without you anymore, I can't baby...”
Jay stopped talking for a second but continued noticing your silence. “And if this makes you feel better, I don’t want to keep a friendship with someone who acted the way she did. A friend doesn't try to intrude on your relationship, I was just too trusting and stupid to understand it and I'm sorry you had to pay for it.”
You pulled away from him for a moment, suddenly feeling suffocated. You sat on the couch again, resting your elbows on your knees and your face covered by your hands as you considered everything Jay had said so far.
Your mind was in a whirlwind of emotions and you couldn't figure out which of the thousand thoughts to listen to first.
Your rational part would’ve told him it was too late, that it was easy to fix your mistakes when the damage had been done.
But your non-rational part, the bigger one, would’ve thrown your arms around him and hugged him until he lost his breath.
You appreciated everything he had told you, so relieved he had finally understood what your real problem was with everything that had happened.
You loved him so much, so terribly much and the relief you had at hearing those words lifted a weight off your shoulders. But you still were so confused and didn't know what to do.
You didn't want to make hasty decisions following only your heart and you equally didn't want to make others that you might regret.
You felt the sofa sink next to you, a sign Jay had sat down.
“I… I know my job is to show you how much you mean to me and you might think that by rooting out Hailey's problem I've just gone with the easy solution but I hope you know that's not the case. I would choose you in a room with a billion people, I would still looking for you. It's just been my way of making you understand that neither Hailey nor any other woman is as indispensable in my life as you are, none of them are worth losing you.” He spoke softly. “I’ll never get tired of repeating you’re the only one who exists for me, I have eyes only for you and it will be like this until my last breath. All I want is to see you happy baby, I want to make you happy. The problem wasn't just my friendship with Hailey, I know that, I didn’t pay enough attention to you and I want to make up for every single mistake I made... And…”
You started crying again, just when you thought you had managed to control your emotions and he noticed.
“And I love you so damn much,” he whispered these last words like some sort of spell.
After what seemed like an infinite amount of time to him, you finally looked up at him. He gently wiped away your tears for the umpteenth time, trying not to focus on how painful it was to see you like that.
“To say these two months have been hell is an understatement,” you sobbed, but still tried to speak, “I've been so angry at you Jay.”
“I know and you have every right to.”
“Every single day I hoped you’d knock on my door and say these exact words to me. Why didn't you do it? God Jay, I would’ve gotten back with you before I even let you talk. Why didn't you fight for us?”.
His heart broke into a thousand little pieces. “Because I'm a stupid piece of shit. I know you won't believe me but I was scared as fuck. I've come here so many times, actually, but I've never had the courage to knock on the door.”
“Really?”.
He nodded mentally smacking himself for his stupidly as he could’ve avoided to both of you months of suffering. “Yes, I was scared to face you. I was afraid you’d tell me it was forever over and you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, I honestly wouldn't have been able to survive something like that. As twisted or dumb as it sounds, I had the hope one way or another fate would bring us together again and I was afraid that if you told me no then this hope would die.”
“What made you come here today?”.
“Seeing you this morning reminded me of everything I had lost. In reality, Adam also helped me knock some sense in me but, well... I realized I don't want to cry anymore and that I want to do everything to get you back.”
You looked at him for a few moments in silence, studying his words and his wonderful features.
“I’ll fight for us Y/n, I can't be without you anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy.”
“I don't want you to think it's all your fault though, it's not.”
“Indeed it is…”
“No. It was also my fault, I shouldn't have given up so quickly, I should’ve trusted you a little bit more and explained myself better, be more patient and give you the time to understand my feelings and demanded to fix them immediately, without thinking you too had to adapt your own thoughts to mine. I was selfish too Jay.”
Jay looked at you with so much intensity and so fervently it suddenly made you feel small and naked under his eyes. He looked at you as if he wanted to get under your skin, he looked at you like a painter looks at his own work of art, like a sculptor looked at his own creation. He looked at you with so much love and sweetness this alone would’ve been enough to make you fall into a thousand pieces.
God, how much you missed the way he looked at you. As if you were the only one in the world, as if you were the most beautiful of the seven wonders of the world, as if you were everything his eyes wanted to see. This was what you missed, what you wanted: feeling like you were the only one for him.
“Don't slap me but I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now,” he whispered, fearing your reaction but at the same time unable to hold his tongue.
You let out a small chuckle through your tears as you dried them and straightened your back. You would’ve been lying if you said you didn't want him to jump on you.
“I'd like to see you try.”
“Oh don't tempt me sweetheart. I could make you squirm under me in less than five minutes if I wanted.”
Please just say yes baby.
You let out a louder laugh this time and threw one of the sofa cushions at him, especially because he was completely right and it wasn't something you wanted to find out at that moment.
He let out a mock cry of pain even though inside he was exploding with joy. He didn't know if it was more the fact you had thrown the pillow at him and actually jokes with him or because he finally heard you laugh. He was almost tempted to tickle you even though you hated it just so he could make you laugh and record the sound and set the recording as the ringtone on his cell phone.
Did he already say he loved you so fucking much he couldn't breathe?
“I'm scared Jay.” You whispered as the air became serious again. He moved closer to you and took your hand, drawing imaginary circles on its back with his thumb, a gesture he used to do to comfort you.
“I know, but I'll make it worth it. I never want to spend a day without you again, I’ll give you the world. I promise,” he whispered as his eyes caressed your face in a little dance, observing your features and every peculiarity of your beautiful skin. “I can't even tell you in words how much I love you Y/n. Just… Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. You want me to get on the roof and jump? I'll do it. Do you want me to blow up some buildings? Give me the address. I’m begging you…”
You chuckled again and he felt victorious for managing to make you smile again. He left out the part where he would actually do anything he just said.
“I love you to death Jay, more than you could ever imagine…” you murmured “And I'm so scared because if... If it doesn't work I won't be able to go through this again,” you paused for a second. “I don't have the strength. I never want to experience anything like that again, I would rather shoot myself.”
“No, no, no, no, this will never happen. There will never be an 'if it doesn't work' again. I'm here to stay and I want to make you the happiest you've ever been, please Y/n, I can't be without you anymore.”
He placed his free hand on your cheek and before your brain could even process it, your body had already responded and you found yourself leaning against his touch.
You looked at each other for few moments, still not believe all of this was real.
“I want us to take it slow. We went too fast the first rime we got together thinking we knew each other well because we were friends before. I want to know the real you, and I want you to really know me.”
“Yes, yes, yes, fuck yes, whatever you want baby,” he replied so quickly he embarrassed himself while he felt his heart beating so fast it was most likely going to explode.
“Or maybe it's better that we just be friends again. It seemed to work just fine,” you decided to tease him and the look of pure horror and shock that crossed his face was priceless. You so badly wished you could take a photo of him in that moment.
“I know you're taking the piss out of me right now, but you and I could never be friends again, never, ever, ever, again.”
“Why?”.
“You’re seriously asking me why? Have you heard any of the words I just said?” He raised an eyebrow and you shrugged, trying not to laugh. “Because there hasn’t been a single day where you were just a friend to me. I have loved you much longer than you’ll ever know baby, so no. Absolutely no friends.”
You bit your cheek to try and suppress a smile but it was in vain, Jay realized it before you could even try to hide it from him and he had to suppress the urge to kiss you right now and there.
“That's not what you should say when you're taking things slowly, you know?”.
He sighed. “You're going to torture me aren't you?”.
You nodded and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as they looked at you and he swore if you looked closely you could see his pupils had turned into a heart shape.
“Baby, I'd let you tie me naked to a pole and in the middle of a storm if that's what you wanted, don't even play with me right now.”
You laughed, your heart now lighter.
You didn't know if you were doing the right thing, if you had reacted hastily and without thinking but at that moment you didn't care. After all, that’s how love was: it was irrational, unconditional, vulnerable, overwhelming, it was messy. You couldn't just follow a plan or predict what to do.
You were aware you were taking an immense risk, that you were risking hurting yourself again in a deep and irreparable way but you wanted to have a little more faith in him. You had always wanted that intense love worthy of fairy tales and you knew he was the only one who’d be able to give it to you even if it meant facing the unknown and the possibility of suffering again.
And the more you looked at Jay, the more you were convinced this was a risk you were willing to take.
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The Forgotten Maiden || Part 2
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Character: Zhongli
Type: Angst, and tragedy
Content: You are the God of Light, you were once Zhongli’s beloved lover as he promised his full heart to you before his departure to the archon war, however, once he returned, he was injured and lost his memory of you. You figured out that he fought the god of memories and the impact of this fight affected his memories of you.
Recently, you revealed to him your true identity in the middle of doing a request for the traveler, then left. You left him there, unknown about his thoughts.
Part one: Here
[ Please don’t repost, this is my original story. ]
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You were retreating to Guili plains, passing Wangshu in, you walked. Your heart was beating fast, as you were cursing yourself. “This…This was a mistake. I am very stupid. What happened to leaving him be?? I completely let my emotions get the best of me….” You stopped and sighed. You were almost to Mondstadt, so you stopped and sat on a nearby rock for a break. What do you do now?
You blew your cover, everything you have worked for and hide from him was gone, you don't know your relationship with Lumine now, and now...you feel...regret. You looked up at the night sky and sighed. Should you disappear? Should you return to Celestia? Should you hide in yourself? What does this world have left for you now?
You looked at the ring and necklace he made for you thousands of years back and tossed it angrily. You gave up, you are done with these type of things. Defeated, done, he won't ever love you again. Never. Why try? Why wonder? Despite having the sacred contract of marriage, it will be loveless. Why? You snapped at him like a damn child. What the hell is wrong with you? Love just sucks. You slowly stood up and walked to Mondstadt, looking around and calming down from seeing your ex lover again after a thousand of years.
You sighed as you stared at the ground, you were just tired, and maybe you should move on. Maybe someone else is out there for you. Maybe you can find someone new. However, within a few minutes of your walk back to Mondstadt, you felt a bump on your head, recognizing the shoes, you looked up. It was Zhongli, holding the ring and necklace you tossed not too long ago. You were dumbfounded. What is he doing here? Why? Why must you deal with this again? You immediately walked around him and walked faster away from him to Mondstadt. However, again. Another bump, he was in front of you again, with the ring and necklace.
Zhongli looked at you with the same emotionless face. He gently took your hand, and pushed the ring back onto your finger, and put the necklace back onto you. You looked at him confused. "Why...?"
Zhongli still was holding your hand, as he was looking at the ring. "It would seem that these items you tossed have my craft on it, not only that, it has my markings on it as well." He continued to examine the ring. You noticed something, he had his gloves off, and his bare skin was touching yours. It has been years since you felt his touch, despite it being such an increment of it, you were blushing and stuttering already.
Zhongli lets go of your hand and looks at you. "If what you say is true, then let's make a contract, I just have almost retired from that, however, for you, I want to make an exception." You sighed, you never had any sort of contract with him, but what is there left to lose?
Zhongli looked at you with his glowing amber eyes, scrutinizing you. You looked at him with a depressed face, as this was some sort of last hope. "Fine, lay it on me. Can't say I'm going to follow it because I don't care anymore, so punish me now if you so desire." He looked at you and spoke. "Is that so? Then that would be problematic -- how about you listen to my proposition, and see if you would take my deal."
"Okay, Okay...what is it?" You crossed your arms, trying to not be difficult but it was hard to maintain that.
"Lets try and date for a month, I want to try and give you a chance. Get to know you, or....re-know you. If things work out, then we will decide on what to do from here."
You blushed. "HUH?" You looked at him with widen eyes.
"Does that sound good?" He asked unfazed by your reaction.
"Why?" You said, doubting him entirely.
"This...ring and necklace convinced me. If you happen to have more...proof, then please show it to me. The idea that I have forgotten something, even more, and important person such as a fiance, then it does trouble me to a certain degree, as I do not want to lose anymore then I already have."
You looked at him and back at your ring and necklace. "You already have lost me." You threw the used to be precious items at him and walked passed him. You said in a hateful tone, fed up and defeated.
You couldn't help it, all these feelings for years, they are coming out now. What do you do with thousands of years of emotion? Where do you even put that? As you walked away, he was standing behind you, watching you walk away from him. He was holding the ring and necklace in his bare hand, and gently squeezed it, quietly, deep in thought.
You were continuing to walk, you were almost back to Starnatch clift. You immediately regretting your actions, this was never you. Grief and loneliness has completely changed you and made you scared. You sighed and looked up at the small cabin you have built for yourself. Maybe you can take a break from adventuring and helping people, maybe you can be dormant for a couple of hundred of years.
As you arrived at your door and opened it, you feel a grab at your hand. You turned back, to see it was the same man. Zhongli.
Zhongli began to speak. "Please, listen." He tried to speak with a slight tone of begging in his voice. Your heart was beating fast, you forgot how stubborn and persistence this man was, before he became knowledgeable. You forgot his true nature, as a man who commands a whole element of mountains, earth and homes.
You began to pull your arm away from his strong grip. "No! I am done with everythi-" Immediately you were pinned against the wall inside your dark cabin. The only light being the moonlight, from the wide open door, however, there another source of light. That was his yellow melting lava eyes looking into your eyes. His body was pressed against hers as his bare hand with no glove was holding your chin up to him, as his other hand was on the wall cornering you. "Look at me." He whisper sternly. You blushed brightly, you really forgot how stubborn this man is.
He was fully focused on you, you don't know what was going through his mind. You don't know his intentions at all. You used to read him so well before but now, you know nothing. You were helpless, feeling his ever strong body against yours, as his left leg was standing in between your legs trapping you.
"Look at me and don't look away until finish speaking." He whispered to you.
"I refuse to give up on this, you made a claim to me, and now there is proof that lined up to this claim. This was a claim if you knowing me romantically. Correct?"
You glared at him.
"Answer me" He spoke demandingly.
"Y-yes.." You kept your eyes on him as he requested.
"You don't get to make that claim and walk off from me. You have made that claim, stick to it. If you do not like my proposition then I am not leaving till we agree on one."
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