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#the only thing dc does that i give even half a shit about
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End in View (dp x dc)
The rooftop is rough beneath Dani and the cold seeps through the gravel and through her layers of clothing as she lays there, breathing. There are no stars visible in the sky. Maybe it’s the rainclouds, maybe it’s the Gotham smog, she doesn’t know. It’s a shame in any case. She’s never liked the stars like Danny does but she still appreciates a little stargazing here and then.
She hears a zipping sound in the distance coming closer, then there’s a thump a bit further away from her on the rooftop and Dani cranes her neck. She sees the upside-down image of a masked man in a skintight black-and-blue suit. She knows him, Might-wings or something. She drops her head, looking back up into the dark sky.
“Hey kiddo, what’re you doing?” The man asks as she hears him walk a little closer.
“Dying,” she says wryly.
Worst part is that it’s true. Her unstable mess of a body is breaking down. She’s taking ecto-shots every morning now instead of every month like when she was twelve years old. Soon the only thing that’ll be able to sustain her properly will be the Infinite Realm and its constant ambient ectoplasm. And even then, she knows it won’t be enough. She’s seen Frostbite’s face after her latest check-up and she saw Danny’s knuckles go white after the yeti repeated for him what he told her.
“Aren’t we all?” The vigilante teases back.
Dani huffs a bit, though her mind is only half-there. This in-between state is dangerous for you. You cannot continue like this for long.
“I happen to have a timeline though, thank you very much,” Dani says and she tries for levity but the words ring too true for that.
What are you saying?
You have to die. Fully.
The vigilante’s breath hitches before he lets out a small “Oh.”
“Doctor says I’ve got about two months,” Dani says casually. “So, I figured I’d see the sights. Travel around a bit.”
“What about your parents?” The man asks, sitting down.
“My dad will be glad when I’m gone,” Dani answers and ignores the pinch to the heart the thought induces.
There’s a silence that stretches for a bit before he breaks it. “That’s awful,” he says quietly.
“It’s whatever. I’ve got my brother anyways.” Dani shrugs. “He’s stuck back home but he’ll come by when he can, which, knowing the kind of shit that goes down back home, won’t be often.” She pauses. “Not like I need him for the list.”
“The list?” The black-and-blue vigilante - Heightwing? - asks.
“My list of things to do before I die,” Dani says. “You know: get drunk, learn to knit, rob a bank. Normal teenager stuff.”
“Anything your local vigilante could help with?”
“You offering?”
“Sure,” he says.
Dani sits up and she sees the vigilante - Nightwing! That’s it! - do the same. She squints into the white lens and he stares back calmly.
“I want to go to Batburger,” she decides. “I want to try the fries.”
He gives her a blinding smile.
“Coming right up,” he chirps before getting out a sleek-looking grapple gun and holds out his other hand. “Ready to fly?”
“Born ready,” she says and takes his hand.
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it-is-i-zim · 6 months
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hi there! how do you feel about suicide squad: rebirth? i’ve heard a lot of mixed reviews and while i enjoyed it, i can understand a lot of the criticisms.
Suicide Squad: Rebirth the series or Suicide Squad: Rebirth the comic that leads into the series? Either way I feel obligated to say that they're good as a Captain Boomerang fan because it's like... One of very few comics that characterize him alright.
Like... In Suicide Squad: Rebirth (the comic) the burp here was kinda... Unnecessary? I get that he's supposed to be like... The Gross One™ and they're trying to show that but it feels weird because this is the only time it happens in the comic and it didn't happen at all after that in the series.
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In the series it was replaced with something... A lot worse... Toilet humor.
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This would be fine if this was supposed to be for a much younger audience, but I think the target audience is supposed to be late teens and young adults and it just happens so often in the series that it kinda feels less like toilet humor and more like the writer's barely disguised fetish.
But I did really enjoy Digger referencing to the Alien franchise.
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Not only does it confirm the existence of the Alien franchise in the DC universe, but it gives Digger something other than Boomerang Man. You know?
Let's not forget his Uber Autism Moment™
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And then there's how Captain Boomerang was characterized with Hack. He shows remorse. Like... Actual, genuine remorse.
He killed her, but as you can see even after he's done it he just feels awful. He felt obligated to do so because he's supposed to be "the bad guy" and he hates himself so much.
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And Harley Quinn picks up on his guilt a few issues later.
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THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT!!!!! THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO SEE WITH DIGGER MORE OFTEN!!!!!
Give me more of this and less of... Whatever the fuck John Ostrander did to him in the 1987 Suicide Squad comic. If you don't know John Ostrander decided he was racist in that comic and for some reason people still think it's canon when half of the stuff that happened in that comic literally can't even happen anymore as a result of things decided on the current canon such as Sam Scudder being alive and the wrist bombs not being a thing anymore. Not to mention his entire origin is completely different now.
Speaking of his origin... the Secret Agent stuff... exists? I wish they elaborated on it a little more I guess cuz it's an interesting concept. They only ever talked about it in the last 8 pages of issue 2 and then all of issue 47. It felt like it was trying to continue his characterization as a compulsive liar in issue 2 but then the concept was used as filler in issue 47 so it's just canon that he's a former Secret Agent now. And then it hasn't been brought up at all since. And that was 5 years ago.
In all fairness they haven't used him much since, but still. And uh... Seeing how this year's Batman: The Brave and the Bold comic is going with Harcourt's lil story... I think it's going to be a while before he shows up again. Which really sucks for me because it's not like there's a ton of fan content for him, especially not a lot of positive stuff.
Anymore it's Tim Drake fans who haven't seen him at all outside Identity Crisis, that one story from the Red Robin comic where Tim wanted to kill Digger, and Knight Terrors: Robin, as well as people who've literally only seen him in the 1987 Suicide Squad comic and then try to argue with me on what is and isn't canon and then they try to site an Encyclopedia that proves me right more than anything else in an attempt to prove me wrong.
But enough of that. Basically, I like it cuz Captain Boomerang is there and they at least tried to give him something. Unless you're talking about the standalone comic Suicide Squad: Rebirth then I'm neutral about it. Captain Boomerang is there. And that's neat. He's not the biggest douchebag there but he also didn't really do anything so I won't really go out of my way to look for it. Like... I had to pull up a digital copy for the one screenshot all the way at the top.
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gaykarstaagforever · 4 months
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Part 1
Fine. You want Fat Superman? Here is Fat Superman.
PART 2: FAT SUPERMAN
Spoiler warning: he gets fat from drinking expired champagne on an alien planet.
No I'm not joking.
And while he has to exercise to get thinner, faster, it was always going to wear off and he'd go back to normal.
Those are the stakes of this idiot story.
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You see this? You see Lois being a bitch about it, and all the cruel fat-related puns?
10 and a half pages of that. That's basically it.
This is a joke that isn't funny, that eventually just...stops.
They made this the cover feature.
...A cover feature with a scene that doesn't even happen. Superman just says, "Man. What if I got fat in a phone booth, instead of a space capsule? (He was in a space capsule when he got fat. A FAKE space capsule. Look. It doesn't matter.)
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Yeah. God forbid any actual dramatic story beats come out of this, you fat bastard.
Great. Now I'm doing it.
The only mildly amusing thing he does while fat is use his giant butt to plug a hole in a dam.
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Speaking as a man with a giant butt...you use what you have, you know?
But even that isn't fun, because he has to make some comment about how he can't fly right, because of temporary obesity.
Yes. Because Superman's flying ability before now was totally a matter of real-world aerodynamics and particle physics.
Having him complain that his thighs are generating 10 million kilojoules of heat as they rub together when he walks would have been cruel garbage, but I would have accepted and even laughed at that. But FLYING? He is too fat to fly? Give me a break!
The blimp jokes were right there, you hacks!
Also, look back at that first dam panel. The people on the dam call him a hippo and wonder how he can still be a hero when he's fat.
It is well-established in the comics at this point that Superman can do anything, all the time, and also has super-hearing. Mostly because he tells everyone any time he does anything. And these jackasses have the nerve to stand well-within even NORMAL hearing range, and make fun of a LIVING GOD WITH LASER EYES for suddenly having man-tits?? He should have blown them over the edge, just to make a point.
Granted, this is Superman, and he's a goody-two-shoes. And they also no doubt know that. Plus he himself is currently whining about how he's TOO FAT TO FLY PROPERLY.
I've been mad for three days about this. Let's pause for an ad break.
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Intriguing. I'll have to look up this 'Sesame Street' thing later, see if it went anywhere.
Back to hell.
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Speaking of weird physics, I can't imagine how people on a plane flying at like 700 mph, passing even a fat Superman going at least as fast, can recognize anything, let alone have enough time to accurately guess his real Fat Superman weight.
But they do. Because this story is awful.
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Okay this panel is pretty dense so let's talk about it.
1) He built that scale super-fast out of NOTHING, just to weigh himself. Looks to me like his super-abilities are just fine, even if he can't see his own penis.
2) ...I mean, okay, he is literally two tons. I admit, that's kind of really goddamn heavy. Maybe he should worry about this a little bit.
3) That last sentence is the greatest sentence in any Silver Age comic, ever. "Why ask questions?" Who gives a shit, right? It doesn't matter. None of this matters. Why did you buy this? Fuck you for reading this, kid. Go outside, nerd.
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They didn't call him a blimp, but they DID have him call himself a parade balloon.
And then make him real sad about it.
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...Did the Government pay DC to do a comic bullying fat children, because it was the height of the Cold War and they were afraid the next generation would be too porky to battle the Russians on their home tundra? Was someone on DC's editorial staff mad at his overweight mother-in-law? This is reaching frightening levels of antagonizing people who like donuts.
I've lost the thread, here. There is slightly more stupid story, but I've hit the "pictures of Fat Superman" limit, so this will need to continue in a Part 3.
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madaboutmunson · 2 years
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Creep - Part 9 of 12 - Would?
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Your home has been your only safe place for the longest time, but something about Eddie's home was incredibly comfortable, well, eventually anyway.
Initially, there were a few moments of awkward but cute standing around with accompanying silences, but thankfully Eddie decided to give you the tour, which allowed for questions and info dumping. This ultimately resulted in you sharing some cereal, like popcorn, and watching an AC/DC Let there be rock VHS.
"This might be the last recording with Bon Scott as lead singer. I think it was recorded in Europe someplace" he turns over the case in his hands, "Ah, Paris, yeah, of course."
You had half expected to have been pounced on, in some way or another by now, but it hadn't occurred. You were slightly disappointed, but also, dare you say it? Pleased. Impressed maybe? Was that totally arrogant? It had certainly taken the pressure off of the evening for you anyway, which you were grateful for.
"Wow, this guy, Angus, is it? He's wild! Does he run around like that all the time?" You are mesmerised by this show. You've never seen anything like it. Your Dad had talked to you about concerts he's been to when you were younger, but this was so loud, fast, and powerful. Not like the concerts you and Connie had been thinking about attending at the time. Like Duran Duran.
You still had a few of the mixtapes you had made together from around that time. Each one was put together perfectly, ready for choreography with accompanying lip sync, so when you played it in your room, you could perform like you were on stage yourselves.
"Yeah, pretty much!" He answers in semi awe, gazing at the screen.
You both reach for the last tiny piece of cereal. Eddie politely waves for you to have it and moves the bowl from in-between you both, scooching over to you.
The tiny little cereal bite makes it to your lips when he says, "I've changed my mind" scooping the side of your face in his hand, the ice-cold metal of the rings sends a shockwave to your temple and kisses you so incredibly softly.
He pulls away a few millimetres and stays there for a few seconds, staring deep into your soul. Your eyes feel like they must be glazed over, like in a cartoon. When a character gets hit over the head. It's only when you hear him audibly crunch the last bit of cereal he just stole from your mouth that your brain returns to earth. The audacity!!
"Why you little thief," you say, tackling him until he's lying back on the sofa. His mischievous cackle fills the trailer as you mock scold him, "Well, now I'm gonna just have to call it in! Grand fucking larceny right in front of my face." Your hand slips whilst you try and pin him down, he's much too wriggly, and he arches his body to the side, giggling furiously, "Mr Munson, are you....are you ticklish?!"
You raise your hands in the air like a puppeteer, "No, no, please", he protests between fits of giggles.
"You must pay the price for your crimes, Edward," you say in your best Hopper impersonation and tickle his sides mercilessly.
After a while, he can take no more "Ok, ok, stop! No more, please", he says, tears of laughter in his eyes.
You release him, "Shit, the things you gotta do around here to get a girl to touch your body" he's trying to make you embarrassed and is, unfortunately, successful, but you attempt a little play revenge.
"Oh, I see. Was that another move from the great Munson playbook, was it?" You tease, "I mean, I'm not sure or not if it was, in fact, much cooler than leaping on me like a koala bear, to be quite honest with you."
"Oh, not sure, huh? Maybe you need a few more samples to decide?" He turns the tables much faster than you expect. He's now straddling your lap, with you sitting bolt upright, against the back of the sofa in surprise.
He grabs your face and furiously plants hundreds of small aggressive kisses all over it. Your face is encompassed by his deep mane of hair.
"Ok, ok", you put your hands up, "I get it! Enough! You Joker"
"What was that?" He leans back a little, still holding your face, pretending not to hear you, "Too many? Hmm, maybe longer ones."
He dives back down and starts dishing out intense closed-mouth smooches all over your face, each pressing into your face for at least a few seconds.
"I swear if you give me a mark, my Dad will kill me, and then you."
He leans back again, pouting, "Yeah, ok, much too intense, I get it."
"Stop it, you dork", you laugh.
He stops suddenly, "Hold on a minute there!! Did you just call me..." He pauses with his thumbs and index fingers pinched together. His face is pretend offended "...a dork?"
You try to reply, but he quickly interjects with a dramatic rendition of Shakespearean-level theatrics, "Ah, so the day hast finally cometh. Where the magic of Munson has withered away and perished. A d'ork she had called him and his only, and if I do say so myself, fitting response was, Goodbye cruel world," and he lets himself fall backwards from your lap, towards the floor.
On reflex, your arm reaches out and grabs at his t-shirt and pull him back up towards you. He's already smiling broadly, "and that ladies and germs is how it's done. A-thank you," and he bows to a pretend audience.
You sit, gently laughing together until the piercing rings of the phone calm your merriment. Eddie rolls his eyes and gets up to answer it. He's talking quietly, but he keeps looking over at you, smiling and making faces at the person on the other end of the phone.
You quickly check your watch and realise the time. Jesus, it was nearly midnight. How had the time gone by so very quickly?
Eddie puts down the phone and notices your demeanour has changed, "Time to go home?" He says, trying to hide his disappointment. He must not want you to leave but also didn't want to guilt you into staying.
"Well, it's nearly midnight, and I haven't called my dad, and he said he expects sleepovers, but I needed to be open about them, and I wasn't expecting one, so I didn't mention it, and you didn't say anything, so you know, well, I've just lost time, haven't I?" You're waffling nervously and spilling way too much information, but the barrier between brain and mouth has just been blasted through by the muscle car of your panicked train of thought.
"Hmmm," He says thoughtfully, then puts his hands in his pockets. "Well, from my side, I had no expectations....hopes maybe..... I just was enjoying the evening, that's all" you smile at one another kindly.
"Me too," you say, standing and putting on your jacket, "I've had a great time." You pause mid-zip up and decide to ask the dreaded question. After all, you were about to leave anyway, so if he said no, it would be way less awkward, "Would you wanna, maybe, do it again some time?"
The question lands, and you brace yourself for an awkward set of excuses. Instead, he strides up to you confidently, putting his arms around your waist, his eyes searching yours, and utters gently, "I couldn't think of a single thing I would rather be doing." He kisses you on the forehead, and you relax into his arms for a few moments before heading out.
When you eventually step out of the trailer, the night sky looks absolutely stunning. You walk around, looking up into the stars, "Wow, is it always like this here?"
"No, not always," he says, stepping into the night, "it's an especially clear crisp night tonight, though. So, you know, they're putting on a good show" he waves his hand vaguely into the sky.
You point your finger at the blanket of stars and trace a wonky W shape, "Cassiopa", you say.
Eddie double takes, "The what now?"
"Cassiopa", you repeat.
"Cassiopeia", he corrects, laughing.
"Oh", you laugh, feeling a bit dumb.
"A vain creature, that one", he adds.
You take offence, "Vain, me?"
"No, no, no, no," he says hurriedly, "Not you. Her!" He points into the sky again and traces the wonky W shape.
"It's a person?" Your brow furrows with confusion.
He looks sorry for you and puts his hands to his mouth, "You don't know, do you? You don't know there is a whole story up there?"
You shake your head, "I just know that one constellation."
"One?!" He makes a fist and bites his knuckle, "You know what I think? I think you need to call your Dad right now and let him know you are staying here, and if he's worried about anything....well....you know what... Yeah...why not?....then he's welcome too, but there is no way I can possibly let you leave here when all you know is one measly constellation."
"I'll ask and see what he says. Don't get your hopes up though"
You go back in and call home. Your Dad picks up immediately, "Honey, are you ok?! Where are you?"
"Sorry, Dad, time just went so fast and then I was leaving, and we were looking at the stars, and Eddie was telling me about them, and I thought maybe I should call and ask if it's ok if I stay over?" You blurt out the question as quickly as possible, like a band-aid, you think to yourself.
You narrow your eyes, bracing for Dad's rage. Eddie is standing in front of you in full support mode, silently crossing his fingers.
Your Dad clears his throat, "a-hem. Well...." He goes quiet
Remembering what Eddie said, you quickly add, "You know if you feel uncomfortable about it, Eddie said you are more than welcome here too."
Eddie nods enthusiastically at you. You let out a little nervous cough, "Plus..." You are struggling to find the right coded words, "There won't and haven't been any choices to make this evening." Eddie looks at you, shocked, mouthing, "What the actual fuck?" You silently shrug back him in an 'I didn't know what else to do' way.
You hear your Dad grumble a little. He's probably shocked you are being so forthright.
"Nothing.....er...compromising", you try.
Eddie throws his hands in the air like the battle is lost.
A little more phone line silence, "Hmmm.....You know what, seeing as you have followed the rules, and I don't detect any lies....though it is over the phone..." He's pondering it further, " I'm gonna give you this one, ok, but if anything, and I do mean anything happens that you are uncomfortable with, you get straight back here, ok. Call me if you are worried. I know where the trailer park is" he says that so quickly you wonder if he's trying to say it before another part of him stops him from saying it.
"How did you-"
"Sorry honey, it wasn't just music recon I did today, alright? But that is beside the point. Remember what I said earlier about being smart. I want to trust you on this sort of thing, so you can have freedoms and be happy." He pauses again. You can almost see him pensively stroking his chin in thought, "I guess it is Saturday night after all.......ok, sure, but do not make me regret this, ok?"
"I won't!! Thank you. Love you. Bye," you say, putting down the phone carefully.
"I've got a pass!!" You shout, and Eddie punches the air a few times in excitement.
"Ok, ok" he's pacing around, half talking to himself, trying to plan everything. He rushes into his bedroom and starts rustling around. A few moments later, he emerges with some sleeping bags and his lunchbox, which he dumps into your arms, and starts ushering you outside.
Once outside, he climbs up a ladder to the top of the trailer, "Pass them up then", he hurries. You do so and then follow him up there. He's laid the sleeping bags out neatly next to one another and pats one for you to come and sit down.
You make your way over to your designated seat. Eddie joins you, seating himself on the other sleeping bag. He opens up the lunchbox and starts rolling a joint.
"Do you wish to partake?" He jokes, holding it between his fingertips, "You know, seeing as you don't have to drive home now."
"Sure, why not" it had been a long time since you smoked weed. In all truth, the first time, you and Connie had found a prerolled one in her parent's stash. You spent probably ninety per cent of that 'session' coughing and spluttering, and it was little to no fun.
The times after were more medicinal, or at least that is what you told yourself. Just to have some peace from the constant questioning and maybe get some quality sleep in place of the same flashes of a nightmare.
"I'll make sure to let Dad know that minutes after he had agreed to let me sleep over, you plied me with drugs," you say in the most serious tone you can muster.
Eddie stops for a second in alarm and then rolls his eyes, "Ha, ha, very droll", he says sarcastically.
You both lie back on your respective sleeping bags as Eddie narrates the story in the sky, outlining each of the character's constellations as he goes, "So Cassiopeia and Cephus over there, were married, and had a kid called Andromeda...that's her there see."
He traces the arc of Andromeda in the sky, passing you the smoke. You take a slight drag and continue listening, "So Cassiopeia is extremely vain, and she's all like, I'm so much better looking than those sea nymphs. Unfortunately for her, those sea nymphs were Poseidon's kids. He's the king of the sea. So he's pissed and sends out a sea monster, Cetus, over there to attack their shores." You pass the joint back over to him. There is a slight pause in storytelling for him to get his hit.
You love looking at the stars, you had pretty much no idea what was going on up there, but you loved them all the same. You feel so happy right now. It was almost like they were twinkling their hardest just for you.
"Anyway, so, they are all freaking out about the sea monster thing, so they think, ah we need to appease it, so they plan a sacrifice. I mean, it was a big leap, as parents, that they decided to choose their own daughter, Andromeda" you quickly point and trace out the part of that constellation you remember, "Very good!! Now so this chick is tied to a rock, and there is this big old sea baddie, but luckily for her, Perseus just happens to be flying back from a quest on Pegasus, and rescues her"
"Wait like the flying horse, Pegasus?"
"The very same." He confirms.
"Whoa," you said in awe of the sky, it's starting to hit you a little now, but it's a very pleasant, relaxing feeling.
Eddie laughs, "Whoa indeed", and he passes it back to you.
"So, are there any other constellations we can see here?" You say, looking at the very star-crammed heavens above you.
"Yeah, there are some like zodiac sign ones here and here, and then there is Triangulum." As he speaks, he points them out and traces them quickly like he's drawing them into the sky.
"Triangulum? Who's that? Like a pointy god with three heads or something?"
"No, I think it just means triangle."
You take a drag and partially sit up, propping yourself up on your elbows, "So what you are saying is, amid all the heroic action adventure, there is just a random triangle?"
"I mean...I guess you could say that," he says slowly.
You both look at one another for a few seconds and explode into laughter.
"Don't mind me, Perseus. I'm just a triangle." You say in a silly voice in between giggling fits. You sigh and lie further back on your elbows.
"That was such a great story, thank you. You're so good at storytelling, dude. I'm actually a little jealous." You say, patting his head in congratulations.
"Jealous of storytelling?" He says, half laughing.
"Yeah, sure, for about 2 years now, that's all anyone wants out of me really, and I..." you flourish your hand to yourself and take another drag, "...can't give it to them."
You flop back down onto your sleeping bag, holding out the joint for Eddie to take, and stare into the night sky, "Maybe you could write me a story to tell them, so at least they have something rather than nothing".
Eddie rolls over onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows, and puffs on the joint whilst you are still holding it, "You can't tell them what you don't know, darlin' ", the slight drawl when he utters that last word makes you feel giddy.
"I liked that. Say that again."
"What? Darlin' ?" He says, amused.
"Yeah, it feels funny in my mouth if I say it" You start imitating the word, and you both start laughing again.
Once you've calmed down again, and the laughter fades to sighs, something has been bugging you, "Hey Eddie, you know cultists, are they real?"
"Oh yeah, sure, look at all that Manson family stuff for a start", he answers.
"No, I'm thinking more like in Dungeons & Dragons, like with all robes and hoods and stuff."
"Well, I guess anyone could have a robe and hood, but that sounds a lot like the whole satanic panic type thing. Why on earth are you asking about cults?" He's still smiling, but there is a tinge of concern there.
"Oh, it's silly, really. I think my brain just mushed the D&D game with my reoccurring nightmare."
"You have a reoccurring nightmare?"
"Well, I call it a nightmare, but really it's just all I can remember from when Connie and I went missing."
He's quiet for a moment and probably doesn't know what to say.
"It's ok, I don't often get to explain without someone getting upset with me, so this could be a first. Unless you don't want me to, of course. It's a big deal, but, you know, it's a short story."
Still slowly blinking at the vastness of space, you say, "I mean, I can't blame them. I'm angry with myself too. Only difference is, I know for sure I'm telling the truth about not remembering. You know, even this week, a teacher gave me a book on like guided visualisation or some shit. I mean, I guess it might help, but what if I go through all that, and people get their hopes up, and nothing comes of it."
"So how does it work, this guided stuff?" He asks with a big inhale
"I think basically you have a tape or a shrink talking to you whilst you walk around your memories, or what you can remember. They talk whilst you are in there and like set a scene, or ask you questions and stuff."
"Huh. Well, we could try that if you like? I mean, I don't mind doing the talky bit if it helps you."
"Really? You'd do that? For me? It might be pretty fucked up in there, man. What if I did something really bad, or I remember something horrific?"
"Then I'll be right here with you. Look, I heard the gossip stories about you and Connie that weekend, and the person in those stories and you, do not match up. Like square peg round hole type of shit, man. I mean, don't get me wrong, you look like you could be pretty handy in a fight, but I don't think you'd hurt anyone out of malice."
"What if it was an accident, though? And my brain has blocked it out."
"Then it was an accident, man. It's cool. I'm not trying to pry or force you to do anything you don't want. The offer is there anyway." He reaches for your hand and interlocks your fingers with his, "I just don't want you to be hurt anymore, that's all, and if there is a way I can help you, I wanna help you."
Eddie's words and his hand latched onto yours fills you with a sense of bravery. "You know what, I'm sick of being useless and powerless to help. Let's give it a try."
"Ok...but first, let's get down from here before that becomes a lot more complicated...maybe get some snacks and drinks" he smacks his lips, "yeah, definitely drinks."
You gather up the sleeping bags, and Eddie grabs his lunch box, the climb down is at a snail's pace, but you make it eventually. You sway around a little more than him, but it's not unpleasant. Once you get back into the trailer, you go to Eddie's room.
You give Eddie the basics of what you can remember from skim reading the book and the bullet point memories. He nods and cracks open a beer, "Right, ok, " he takes a swig from the can, "So anywhere you particularly want to investigate?" He asks, breaking out his notepad and tucks a pencil behind his ear.
"I think maybe the hooded people, they are troubling most right now," Eddie asks you to describe that scene in as much detail as possible, which you do.
"Ok, got it" he makes a few scribbles on his page and adjusts his pillow so you can lie perpendicular to where he sits.
You close your eyes, and Eddie starts talking you through some generic scene building, a meadow with a specific type of flower, anything worlds away from your memories so you can tell the difference.
Once you are fully emersed, Eddie asks you to look up and see the figures leaning over you, "What colour are their hood and cloaks?" he asks.
"Like a dark red", you reply sleepily.
"What do they want with you?"
"Not sure...can't hear them...they're laughing at something"
Eddie urges you to stay in the moment, listen, and see as much as possible.
Your visions start to flicker like an incorrectly tuned TV set, but you desperately try to stay in the memory. Something catches your eye, "shiny....a shiny watch."
Eddie scribbles down everything you say, "Metal, sparkle, clock face has hands."
As you are examining the watch face in your memory, it feels as though something grabs the back of your clothing and pulls you, hurtling you backwards away from it.
It feels as though your back crashes through the surface of a body of water, and you are still being dragged back at an alarming rate. You feel like you are drowning until you are pulled out of what feels like the other side.
You land with a thud and look to your right. The ripples. You watch the ripples move, but you feel like something is different this time. It is much more viscous. This isn't water,
"Not water, something else."
"Can you smell or taste anything?"
"Only metal" your hand is plunged into the ripples, and you feel a warm sensation, "Warm."
"Can you look around for me? Do you feel any sensations different to the warm liquid"
You desperately try to feel anything else, a chill touches your back.
"It's cold, where I'm laying it's cold, I'm cold" your eyes search behind your eyelids, a flash of something above you, "red cloak and a table," you say as you see one hurriedly swishes past you and stops abruptly at the edge of a table.
"Something's wrong" your stomach beings to flip over as the red cloak darts around in front of you.
Eddie takes a swig of beer, "What do you mean? Has something changed?"
"Panic, running. One is running. They've gone"
Another grab at your back plunged through yet another surface in the darkness. It's like your subconsciousness is dragging you through recollections you had long forgotten, but not long enough for all the details you want.
This time you aren't anywhere different, you are still in the same place, but this time you feel it. You can't move, "I'm stuck", you say as you try to "gotta get out of here" you try to move your body in the memory. You are stuck fast.
In Eddie's room, you are desperately squirming against nothing. He puts down his beer and notepad slowly. "Ok, I think that's enough now," he says.
You can hear him, but it's like listening to it from underwater.
In the visualisation, something drops from the table towards you. It's hard to determine what it is because it's so close to your face but just sways above you. You try to refocus your eyes.
"Hey, did you hear me? I said that's enough," Eddie says, a little more worried, but you are so close to focussing on the object.
A drop of liquid hits your lips from the pale object in front of you, which twitches and crunches, and that's when you see it. The little purple butterfly ring, "Connie?" You say weakly.
"Connie?!" You say in more alarm and try to move again. Nothing.
"CONNIE" you scream in terror and immediately find yourself back in Eddie's room, sitting bolt upright, breathing heavily, looking at the wall.
You turn to the side and hear Eddie scream. He is firmly pinned up against the other wall, "What the actual fuck?" He pants, staring at you, horrified.
The lump in your throat rises, and you feel your eyes fill with tears. What kind they are, you aren't sure, terror, sadness, joy,
"Eddie.." you say in a hoarse whisper, "I saw the ring she used to wear all the time. I-I think it was Connie" you look down at your hands, "I just couldn't do anything, I couldn't move or reach out to her" your voice cracks a little.
Eddie slowly peels himself from the wall, sits next to you and drapes his arm around your shoulders. You gratefully lean into him and let a few tears fall. He felt so warm right now, compared to the memory sensations of the cold, hard ground. "Did you get much info this end?" You ask without much expectation.
"Well, I think I might have nearly had a heart attack", he jokes, trying to mask his worry, "I wrote down everything I heard and made notes of any descriptions. Well...except the last bit...because I.... well, let's just say it was pretty fucking scary in here."
" What happened?"
"Your body just went stiff as a board man, then you were vibrating like a cheap motel bed, then nothing, absolutely nothing at all. I thought you'd had a seizure or something. When I touched your arm, there was no response. You felt cold, like unnaturally cold. Then you said her name, did one hell of a sit-up and screamed her name into that wall there."
You rub your face with your hands, "I'm so sorry I scared you. I just thought I'd see something else if I could stay in there a bit longer."
"Hey now", he tries to comfort you, "so I got a little worried there for a second. I'm fine, you're fine, and potentially we have more clues for you. Well, at least some words", he gives your shoulders a little squeeze. You look up at him, and he can't hide his concern on his face this time but dips back into humour to ease the tension. "What do you say we get a little more 'fresh air," he says using air quotes, "with our friend the mighty triangle and then catch some z's."
You nod into his chest, wrapping your arms around his lithe torso and giving him a little squeeze back. He makes a noise of appreciation, "or...we could just stay here," he says gently, snuggling into your arms some more, gently walking his fingers along your arm.
You shake your head and smile, "You know, for a man who just got scared half to death, you recovered pretty quickly."
"What can I say? I've got priorities, and my goods are the best in town."
You look at his cheeky grin, and the bad feelings get pushed way down.
"Goods?" You say with a slight smile.
"Well, I was talking generally about lunchbox contents, but they aren't the only goods I've got." He says enthusiastically, purposefully poking your curiosity.
You sit up, "Well, now you are going to have to tell me."
"Well, first of all, these things." He rolls up his sleeve and flexes a bicep at you, "then of course 2 buns of steel, eyes you get lost in.... repeatedly!! a 100kW smile, I mean I could go on," he laughs.
"Oh, I see, "you pat yourself down, "well, that's too bad. I've clean forgot my wallet."
"Well, you know, we accept payment plans here," he says flirtatiously, pulling the sleeping bag over the top of your both.
You giggle in the moment, but mid-kiss, you open your eyes, trying to take in every detail of his face, just so you could recall it exactly when you needed it next. Trying to give your brain so many details, it could never forget this.
You knew you were absolutely in way too deep, too soon. His soft brown eyes are closed, hidden from you, and it feels like you almost know something he is blissfully unaware of. Deep down, you know, this guy was going to, when it was over, not just break your heart, but obliterate it to its very atoms.
Good things don't last for you. They never have.
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istherewifiinhell · 1 year
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LETS FUUUUUCKIIINGGGGGG GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BAT TURTLES
Here yee here yee! Come one come all! New and long time fans, young (ish) and old. These are so god damn. PREMIUM. Grade A. Turtlefied Certified. Ninja Turtles. Who are Mutant Teens.
Long have we wondered. Must a turtles movie overly explain the concept and set up of the turtles. Or else be a sequel that could confusing or lower quality. Must there sadness about fathers, conflict between brothers and general. Condensed movie run time character arc things. Well. The answer is here. And its this. Who know who the fucking turtles are. And Batman too. So lets just get to do some fucking Movie Ass Movie shit.
(And okay side note I only know animated dc im not like. All up on it but. Yeah. Its batman. Hes over there).
There is a plot a foot! A foot plot! even. Turtle villain and bat villian team up that leads the guys to gotham! And due to it being. Ninja robberies. Misunderstandings abound. But then the team up of the. Two teams. And conflicts arise there. Until they work it out for the greater threats, and thematic culmination in your final action set piece. Delightful. Tasty. So so workable.
Anyway. HELLO ANIMATION. These turtles are so. Wonderous and goofy looking. We have distinct shapes and colouration going on, which is the hotness for modern designs. They have the all white eyes look which is classic and cool. Theyre a bit toned down in shape and snoot having but its a vibe, it looks great in motion.
The action is sick as shit. and a little bloody! your not in nicktoons anymore! hey some turtles arent for little kids indeed. people can be killed! But its not like. Aggressively so. Just enough to feel it. But also theyre doing great comedy animation too. all rounder.
So whats the real meat of it? Well. WOULDNT IT BE SICK IF THE TURTLES WERE IN GOTHAM? And yes. Yes it is. Due to the crossover nature and large cast. We dont really need large changes and arcs. Isnt it enough to see how characters would bounce off situations and others...
Hows our comic lover goof ball, with slight powers of 4th wall poking, enjoy the rogue gallery. What happens when our sciencey tech guy puts his mind to finding a secretive vigilante. What do our serious leaders in blue make of each other. What if an EXTREMELY self aware 16 year old with an attitude read ur entire gimmick from a mile away. What happens when 4 sewer raised teens end up in a rich dude MANOR with a whole ass bulter...
Like basically. All of them are allowed to be their cool funky selves without needing to push it into something thats gonna be the crux of a joke or problem. We get that Leo has the weight of his responisblity as leader stuff, but his still a teen, without him having to tear into anyone. Donnie's doing his tech stuff that goes over other ppls heads without anyone saying he "relies on it too much" or being pressured into fixing everything for everyone. Mikey is techincally, a joke in that. hes saying funny things, hes goofing. But no one needs to slip into anything down right cruel about it, nor does it make him a fuck up.
And Raph... my RAPHIE.... Giving the fucking. Crown of Raph understanders to these fine folks! Yes he's implusive! Yes he's the bruiser. Yes he finds his little brothers jokes annoying! (this is half the point of a little siblings joke. trust me). But also he loves his fucking family. He's nice to kids! And he doesn't have time for anyones elses dramatic broody horseshit. THATS HIS THING??
Delicious. Finally some good fucking food. And eh. Pish posh I really dont know enough about the other bat characters but know its Babs, who is also a purple smartie, and she was fun! Shes fun to see react back at the turtles. And The smallest angriest robin. Who yeah really idk him. BUT DELIGHTFUL. To force into contact with the turtles. This is a mandatory playdate you WILL be dragged into shenangans. Enjoy ur new older bro/cousin figures. They came free with ur fucking crossover.
Shout the fucks out. Watch this movie. They gave the turtle van a little angry mouth again. Fuck Yeah.
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ricegrains-n-rosess · 2 years
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My personal ST sexuality headcanons :) IK it’s long stfu I needed to get this out
Nancy: I’d say she’s a lesbian just strong wlw vibes all around, she was into dudes but platonically and mistakes the desire for affection and friendship as romantic feelings and just thought her attraction to women was bestie vibes only :)
Robin: Fuhkin gay. so gay. Figured out she was gay from a kitschy erotica novel that she stole from a yard sale when she was 12 (the ones with huge half-breed musclemen and fainting women in ripped bodices on the cover)
Steve: Oh homie, get some dick. Watched Grease when he was 11 and had a boner he had to hide throughout the whole thing because he was sweating from John Travolta and Olivia Newman.
Eddie: way too gender to not be nonbinary (he/they king) also BISEXUALLL so bisexual like he radiates bisexual slut (affectionate) Maybe pansexual? He also gives pansexual vibes in a total “*shrug* ass is ass, man” kinda way.  Was that one kid who was kissing boys in secret when he was 6 and putting on lipstick before having a crisis at 14 and sadly became a total shithead before going back to being a nerd at 16. Blows men at truck stops without shame.
Billy: Fakes being straight but is the biggest fag in history like stone butch has had affairs with 13 different men. Makes women want to leave their husbands but even more so makes men leave their wives. He does drag and is intense enough that if anyone tries to make fun of them he’ll beat their asses until they’d have to be scraped off the floor with a spatula.
Eleven: Ok so like, really heteromantic but experimental with girls. Asexual but doesn’t really understand her asexuality so developed a pretty shitty mindset of thinking something was wrong with her. Max being educated on this helped her understand herself better probably.
Max: B I S E X U A L all the way omg. Fucking definition of hot bi girl. I’d say also poly?? She’s the girl that Joan Jett is singing about in AC/DC. 
Lucas: Just told people he was a spicy straight after he was caught making out with a guy. Actually bisexual but has a shit ton of internalized biphobia. Which leads to shit getting rocky with max sometimes.
Mike: Oh god he needs to get dicked down even harder than Steve he has so much internalized homophobia. I’m not even going to call him bi he just feels so gay it ain’t even funny.
Dustin: panromantic asexual. I dunno how to elaborate but his mom bought him a barbie when he asked for one. He’s just chill about his sexuality doesn’t get the big whoop about why it’s so important. He doesn’t really like pride but went to a parade wearing a pan flag with Suzie who’s pan as well and he’s super supportive of her .
Will: Toned down gay, similar to Dustin where he really doesn’t give a shit about sexuality like has a very “gay isn’t different to straight so let’s all just be treated as equal it should just be considered normal” mentality. Tho I reckon he’s the sort that would throw a brick through a window if he had to. More punk scene activist less Yas Queen 
Jonathan: Aroace, depressed and felt desperate to feel something so convinced himself he was in love with Nancy. Still unaware of what he is :(
Joyce: Bisexual. No elaboration. 
Chrissy: Pansexual. She looks like a walking pansexual flag.
I probably missed some people out lol i’m just tired <3
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spellbcok · 5 months
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post 𝐇𝐖𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝟏𝟔 muse updates
so updates plus some new connection ideas. these updates will eventually be added to my doc when i feel like spending a day editing pages.
anastasia, calleigh, euntak, liv, lydia, sabrina, & yuri : nothing of note.
anya jenkins
currently seeking self defense classes. preferably of the free variety or an exchange of some sort that is not monetary.
owner has been mia, so anya has taken over the magic box. who cares about things like taxes and ownership and blah blah blah. would love employees or regular customers.
chloe decker
after the maze chloe came home and found trixie in bed as if it was perfectly normal and she had always been here.
she's 10 here and is aware that there's something afoot.
looking for a babysitter. she's very perceptive, is not above blackmailing for a buck or a slice of chocolate cake, and is prone to leaving the house unannounced and giving chloe a heart attack.
tak dongkyung
this maze opened her eyes to supernatural and otherworldly beings.
researched the hell out of werewolves via dramas and books, so she is now (obviously) an expert on the topic lmao.
her curiosity has piqued and now she's wandering around dc trying to witness more of these beings.
would love some supernatural/paranormal being connections. warning: she might annoy them to death with excessive questions.
ryu hongjoo
teetering between a mental breakdown and numbing herself from everything.
witnessed two people she cares for die, one of them even died twice.
she suffered quite a bit in this event. it's her first introduction to how things are in this town as well.
she'll bounce back, she always does, but the enthusiasm she had with being her has definitely diminished.
she runs a restaurant / unofficial women's shelter so if anyone's muses need a job with room and board, this is the place.
lorelai gilmore
lorelai became unaware.
the core of her is still the same. still loves coffee, still says the most ridiculous shit and is still a commitment-phone (probably even more so).
the biggest change is that she has no memory of rory or being a mother.
since being a mom was the biggest motivator for her to leave the control of her parents', lorelai is not as independent from her parents anymore. she rebelled and runaway and detested everything about them, but she still followed their every rule and demand and image of what her life should be.
she had her coming out, graduated high school, went to a prestigious university, got a business degree. present day she even spends some weekends going on whatever blind date her mother sets up and sabotages each and every one.
the inn is also inherited from her parents. a "starter" business project they called it. she actually likes running the place, though, so it's not the worst torture they've put her through.
possible connections: employees (always looking for these), blind dates (past who have a bad impression of her now or upcoming), friends/exes/flings elitist parents would disapprove of (from the past or present day).
nora grey
died but memories were not affected (at least not in the dc aware/unaware way).
after dying it brought up the memories of her constantly almost dying in patch's presence, his confession that he tried to kill her, and she remembers what they are: him a fallen angel, her a nephilim.
so, nora now remembers up until the end-ish of book 1. she remembers sacrificing herself then waking up in dc.
she doesn't know patch saved her back in maine, so she believes she died and ended up here somehow.
son yeonseo
yeonseo also died and didn't have her memories affected.
but that's basically the only noteworthy thing that happened.
not much changed for her afterwards (aside from some guilt toward one particular person). technically, she's already undead so dying again and having nothing happen to her is something to easily get over.
to be even more technical, in her mind she thinks she is undead as she doesn't know she is half human and was born that way, not created like normal vampires.
muses who are in need of more plots: anastasia, calleigh, liv, & hongjoo.
if anything mentioned is of interest or you'd generally just like to plot feel free to like this post and i'll msg you here or on discord if you are in the server!
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poisonousquinzel · 3 years
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the eat bang kill writer is lesbophobic??
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@drayna: The writer of the comics is lesbophobic??? How does that even work with the whole point of these comics then lmao
@hello-gaynow: Oh no! What has she done thats lesbiphobic?
(I was gonna respond on that post itself but I figured I could just move it all over here since someone sent an ask <3)
so yeah, unfortunately 😬 it came out a few weeks ago after she confirmed that Ivy in this comic / in the show is bisexual and some people started giving her shit for it, which like don't do that, but her response to someone apologizing for the backlash was:
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Comment: As a lesbian I wanna apologize for how half this community reacts to literally anything they're legitimately some of the most annoying fucking people on the planet
Tee Franklin: You don't have to apologize, these ignoramuses don't speak for all lesbians.
You good with me boo even tho I hate lesbians. 😩
And clearly that set off a wave of valid criticism and for some reason ig she can't figure out why people took issue with her just flat out saying she hates lesbians.
Like yeah, people were absolutely in the wrong for harassing her about writing her version of Ivy as bisexual, but I've seen a lot of people completely talking over the lesbian community in the DC fandom who've expressed being hurt over her comments and have brushed those criticisms aside because "oh, y'all are just mad she's not writing Ivy how y'all want."
Not to mention that I’ve seen a lot of lesbians say that it feels like she’s actively pushing the idea that if you’ve ever been in a relationship with a man, you cannot be a lesbian, and that that’s why Ivy’s bisexual! Obviously! She was with Kiteman! Which not only completely disregards the comphet vibes a lot of us got from Ivy in the show, but also just in general it invalidates lesbians who’ve been with men in the past.
and on September 1 she replied to a TikTok about it.
Their TikTok was just the above screenshot captioned with "not the writer of Harley Quinn: The Animated Series: The Eat Bang Kill Tour literally being homophobic towards lesbians 🙁”
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And she responded in the replies with:
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MizTee Franklin: How about you actually READ the entire thing instead of cherry picking what you want. People were claiming this is what I am so I “agreed” with em
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MizTee Franklin: I wasn’t making a joke. I had hundreds of comments calling me a TERF & a lesbian hater & enby hater. I’m not arguing w/ppl about what I said.
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MizTee Franklin: But you posted this to cause controversy I see you and the rest of y’all. Everyone who followed knows exactly what went down
But if this is the narrative you wanna spin have fun. I know what’s what and so does everyone else who follows me.
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@ cowboyharley​​: yeah like i said i read all the tweets and you’re just unprofessional and refuse to acknowledge when people tell u something u said was harmful
MizTee Franklin: Good thing your opinion isn’t canon.
which is.... certainly a response... I guess.
Like genuinely, I think this would have ended quickly if she’d just, idk, apologized to the lesbians she hurt when she said she hates lesbians???? It’s not that hard to understand why that was a harmful statement that people took issue with, lady.
It wouldn’t have been that hard to fix this situation, at all. Literally she just needed to say “hey, I don’t hate lesbians, sorry!”, but no, she doubled down and has continued to just make it worse and then said she wasn’t joking.
Like I don’t understand how she can say she was “agreeing” with the hate comments in a sarcastic manner, and then turn around and immediately say in her next comment that she wasn’t joking. 
Those are contradictory statements.
And I’ve seen some people trying to dismiss her comments because she’s queer and like y’all
That. Is. Not. An. Excuse.
You can be hateful towards and spread harmful statements about other members of the LGBT community even if you are part of it.
And I’m not going to stand by and pretend that what she said wasn’t harmful and didn’t hurt a lot of people because it did.
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shurisneakers · 3 years
Text
harmless (xiii)
Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)
Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, smidge of angst, guns, little bit of violence, obnoxious flirting, and kidnapping lol
Word count: 6.2k
A/N: welcome to chaos week >:) this is the first of three updates coming out this week (if i can finish the last one in time).  big thank you to my love @no-shit-sherl0ck for the kidnaped!reader idea, and that one anon who suggested the inator that’s used here. i know you wanted to see it in a zoo but i couldn’t really figure out a way to use that so i referenced it a bunch in previous chapters. oh and also @ginevranights​ for this specific imagery 
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Previous Part  || Series Masterlist
Who the fuck kidnaps a villain in this day and age?
Saturday started normally enough.
Nat kicked Bucky’s ass in training, evening the score to 120 and 120. He blames it on the lack of sleep. She tells him that it’s his fault he stayed up late to binge watch 911 Lone Star.
He still thinks it was worth it.
The team’s sunshines and rainbows that morning. Someone had cooked up a batch of pancakes and fresh orange juice. Someone else burnt the bacon but left to feed his dog before anyone could complain.
Nat opened up the newspaper. Different sections went to different people until Bucky got stuck with the entertainment section. Fun, considering that he doesn’t even recognise half the names. He’d have to pretend to be interested until the next rotation.
He watches the orange juice levitate in front of him from the corner of his eye and just assumes that Wanda’s getting a refill even though she could have just asked him to pass it. He smells the next batch of bacon burning and figures that Clint is back.
Sam’s beside him, annoying him about how long it takes for him to read about which new celebrity relationship just ended and Bucky retaliates by reading even slower. Fuck you.
He’s on his second stack of pancakes absolutely drenched in maple syrup when the doors to the elevator open and Marie steps out, laptop in her hand.
An instant chorus of hello’s and invitations to have some charred bacon resound through the table. She politely declines them with a small smile, instead opening her laptop and placing it in front of Bucky without further ado. 
He looks at her questioningly, slowly swallowing whatever was in his mouth.
“An email for you.” She tuts her head towards it. “It has a video attachment of your friend.”
Bucky has plans to not watch the video in front of everyone, given that the content could range anywhere from you reading out fanfiction about him to a deep-fake of him singing a Whitney Houston song.
Both of which you have done before and would do again, without any hesitation.
“Aren’t you gonna watch it?” Wanda asks from across the table.
He slowly shakes his head no, cutting his stack into smaller pieces.
“If what’s in it is real, it’s important,” Marie stresses.
“What’s in it?” he inquires instead, hoping that the team would stop staring at him. If Marie was implying strongly that he needed to watch then something was wrong.
“Just watch it, man.” Sam’s statement has everyone agreeing with him. Bucky can’t refuse now, and if the team makes fun of him for the next month about how he looks good belting Greatest Love of All, he’s going to personally assassinate you.
He clicks on the email, noticing it came from a throwaway address. Probably untraceable, if the cards are played right. 
The video opens to grainy footage, which is stupid considering modern technological advancements. If this is one more of your stupid LARPing sessions, it could definitely wait till after lunch. 
But, he instantly recognises your silhouette strapped to a chair and suddenly the room feels very cold around him. His hand automatically clutches onto a bead from the bracelet you gave him that still remained tied to his left arm more often than not.
“Speak,” someone commands off camera.
“About what?” You sound annoyed, exasperated even.
“Why you’re here.”
“I’m here because you have unaddressed feelings of childhood insecurity.”
“I warned you to take this seriously.”
Bucky’s eyes widen slightly but his body relaxes the minute he reads the situation. 
The team’s crowded around him, he can feel it. His attention remains on the screen in front of him.
“Who even are you sending this to?” You don’t sound the least bit threatened. “My roommate’s not at home but my cat is and I don’t think she’d care.”
”You’ve made a complete joke out of villains everywhere. Fraternising with the enemies, the Avengers,” he spits the name with so much vitriol. “You’ve erased what it’s like to be truly evil. Turned us into a laughing stock.”
“If it takes one person to undermine your whole movement then maybe it wasn’t strong enough to begin with.” You look at someone outside the lens, face scrunching in distaste. “Also your costume’s ugly.”
“F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you trace this voice?” Bucky asks, receiving an immediate confirmation. “Figure out who it is.”
“On it.”
“Tell them. Tell them we are a serious threat and are to be feared.”
"No,” you say resolutely. “You’re an overgrown manchild. Go watch Teletubbies or something.”
“She does not give a shit,” Clint marvels at the situation, a piece of half eaten burnt toast between his fingers.
You didn’t. And if he knew you in the slightest, which he prided himself on at this point, you already had six different ways of getting out of there.
“She knows she’s going to be fine,” Bucky murmurs, returning back to take a bite of his pancakes. “She’s probably still there just to irritate him.”
He zeroes in on your wrist to see if the teleportation watch was still there but no, your wrists are bare. Guess you forgot.
“You have to.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s how a real villain does it.”
“A real villain- what are you, gatekeeping the villain community?” You scoff. “You sound like a fuckin’ incel.”
“Just send them a message,” the guy bellows, hitting a table.
“She’s going to frustrate them to death.” An accurate observation, Sam.
“Okay, jeez, fine.”
Bucky just knows that you rolled your eyes at that moment.
He had faith in you, or in your abilities at the very least. While every wisecrack could possibly inch you closer towards harm, you probably wouldn’t be making them unless you felt completely secure in your situation.
“Help, I’m totally kidnapped and in danger. Save me because I can’t do it myself. This man is too powerful and strong and sooo scary.”
“Do you think she has a strategy?”
“Definitely.”
“You’re not worried, James?” Wanda asks curiously. “I thought she was your friend.”
“She is my friend.” He reaches over to take the jug of orange from across the table. “That’s why I’m not worried.”
“Are you going to fight the Avengers?” you interrupt his endless tirade. “Because that’s a stupid plan. You get how that’s a stupid plan, right?”
“Let them come. I’m prepared.”
“With what? A stick you found outside? A Nerf gun? Man, you’ve tied my hands with fuckin’ zip ties, you can’t be serious-”
“Shut up,” he roared and the stand shakes slightly from where he stamps his feet. “Our army is enough.”
“Wow,” you exhale. “I wish I had your confidence, I really do. I want to study you under a microscope.”
“I have reinforcements.” It sounds like he turns to the camera to address it directly. “This is a warning. Your friends have an hour to find you or things are gonna turn ugly. This is what real evil looks like.”
“Evil dresses in a dollar store Speedo, apparently.” The man pays you no heed, instead picking up the camera. “Hey, sarge, if you’re watching this, don’t bother. I’m fine, it’s not even the real me-”
The camera cuts to black.
“When was this video sent?” Nat looks at Marie, eyebrows drawn together.
“About ten minutes ago.”
Bucky clicks out of the email, determined to get at least half his breakfast in him before he left to see what’s up with your situation. A notification pops up immediately.
[email protected] just sent you an email.
A video attachment.
“We got another one,” Bucky informs the team, drawing their attention back to the screen from the informal conversation that had erupted between them about what they could do.
This time, there’s a subject line included.
Attack on the Clone.
"Ain’t that a Star Wars movie?" he asks, craning his neck to look at Clint.
"That's Attack of the Clones," Sam corrects. "Probably autocorrect."
Bucky narrowed his eyes in suspicion at him, jaw sliding outward before falling back into place. Enough times had Sam called him Fucky in the group chat and gotten away with it for him not to be wary.
“Or a code,” Wanda suggests, too many crime thrillers read and podcasts listened in her spare time. She occasionally brought them over to Self Care Saturday, introducing him to the world of true crime as a bit of light content while they snacked on chocolate chip cookies he baked. “Like the Zodiac.”
“For what?” Bucky peers over at her.
“All I remember from that movie is them rolling around a field together,” Clint mutters. “Maybe that’s how you’re supposed to save her.”
“I’m not saving anyone. Look at her, she’s fine.” Is he the only one who saw it?
When he’s met with skeptical looks and no other useful suggestions, he presses play on the video.
This time it's clearer footage. It hardly takes him a second to ascertain where it was.
"That's her lair." It showed the pathway leading up to the flat concrete building, exactly where the intercom should be.
There was a black Sedan parked haphazardly outside, engine still on judging by the sound of the radio blasting an AC/DC song. 
Within a few seconds, someone drags you from the entrance of the lair to the car, despite your very clear protests and opposition, shoving you inside before it takes off in full speed, tires screeching. 
"F.R.I.D.A.Y., track the car from that video. Check all the CCTV and surveillance footage from around the area that you can find," Bucky commands, taking a sip of orange juice.  
"Why would they send us that?" Clint pipes up. "They make their email untraceable but send us a video of the fuckin' abduction itself?"
"I don't know." Bucky shakes his head, setting his glass down. "She probably convinced them to."
It was an unusual scenario, he realised that. But his eyebrows lower in contemplation, his lip caged between his lip before a thought suddenly occurs to him. A laugh in disbelief almost escapes his throat ad he pushes it down with some freshly cut strawberries. 
"And they listened?"
"I don't think you realise how annoying she can be." He knows, though. He knows. "Bet they regret it, though. I should tell them to keep her for a little longer."
"Voice recognition registers voice to someone named Chad, better known by his alias Soul Crusher. Surveillance footage places the car about thirty minutes away. Exact location sent to your phone GPS."
Soul Crusher. That was worse than Dr. Strange.
"I can make that fifteen." Bucky shrugs, setting down his fork and knife. If his hunch is right, the team didn’t really have to get involved. “See you guys later.”
“Do you want any of us coming with you?” Wanda gestures to the crowd at hand.
“I got it.” He pushes away from the table, depositing his plate in the sink, dropping an extra piece of bacon on the ground for Clint’s dog. “She’ll be alright.”
They watch him trail out of the room briskly, heading up to his room to change.
“Is it just me or is he too casual about this?” Clint continues staring long after he leaves.
“Both of them are weirdos.” Nat pulls open the newspaper again, going back to the sport’s section. “Who knows what goes in their heads.”
“Can confirm that not a lot goes on in his.”
Without Bucky to retaliate or grumble, a Steve walking into the room, sweaty and shiny after training becomes the new subject of jokes that morning.
__
For the first time in months, he’s had to bring a weapon or two along with him. Two revolvers and a couple of knives kept out of plain view. He wouldn’t need more than that anyway.
True to his word, it takes only fifteen minutes to get there, thirteen if he didn’t stop for the chain of ducks that crossed the street.
He’s also dressed in a little more leather than he usually reserves for your meetings. A jacket that brings to act as a windbreaker and tightly laced up combat boots make him look like he either stepped off a runway, or more menacing than usual depending on who was looking.
The GPS points him to an old warehouse near a more subdued part of the city. It was abandoned by the looks of it, and had been for a while judging by the lack of upkeep. Prime real estate.
He pulls off his helmet, hanging it on the handlebar along with his backpack before kicking the stand into place. The bike’s a few metres away just in case they decide to blow something up.
Bucky looks up at the warehouse, assessing the most damage he could do to it if at all it was needed. That thing could barely stand on its own, a grenade would absolutely decimate it. That wasn’t good news for you.
He sighs once before putting on his death glare, straightening out his shoulders into a stature that screams stone-cold, and pushes the door open, gun raised.
A mini-army of people ranging from their early twenties to late thirties stood guard at the entrance, all with rifles pointed at him. He counts fifteen, maybe eighteen.
“Oh, hell no,” a voice erupts from the back, followed by the sound of his gun being thrown to the ground. “No one told me that he was coming.”
Bucky raises an eyebrow, his death glare not shifting and Glock not lowering.
“I’m out.” The same guy raises his hands up to show he meant no harm, slowly brushing past Bucky as he squeezed out of the building.
“You got five seconds to leave before I shut this door,” Bucky gives the rest of them an ultimatum. Not like there was a point anyway. SHIELD was sending down some people to account for the one day rise in new morons. 
They all looked at each other, swallowing thickly before raising their weapons.
“I hope he’s giving you good insurance.” The second he finishes his sentence they all cry out in what sounds like a fucking war chant, launching themselves at him. 
______
“They’re here.” Someone presses his ear to the door as if the gunshots and screaming weren’t enough. 
“Brilliant. We’re ready.” Chad picks up the knife, running his finger along the sharp end. You try to see if you can use your Twitter-ordained powers of manifestation for a paper cut.
“How much are you asking them for?” You put forth a query instead, when it disappointingly doesn’t work.
“Asking who for what?” Chad stops his dumb intimidation tactic for a second. 
“You know,” you insist like it was obvious, “my ransom. How much did you ask them to pay?”
“We didn’t-” He looks around at the other people in the room for confirmation. “-we didn’t ask for any.”
“Because I’m invaluable?” Your head droops to the side in mock flattery. “Aw, you guys.”
“We didn’t think of it,” someone from the corner behind you speaks up, coming to the aid of their boss.
“Now that’s just rude.” You tut, shifting maybe an inch or two in your bounds to try and get more comfortable. “Leaving aside your lack of preparation, let’s just assume he bursts in here, desperate and ready to bargain. How much would you ask for?”
“Three million,” Chad says confidently, gathering a nod and sounds of agreement from everyone else.
“Are you serious?” Your jaw drops, a scoff escaping you. “That’s all?”
His self-assurance falters a little bit, you can see it under his 5 Minutes Craft mask.
“Three mill-” You stop mid-sentence. “With this wiring? Ridiculous. Make it ten, I demand it.”
“We’ll ask for fifteen mil,” Chad proposes, his teammates agreeing again, a little more delighted than last time.
“Ask for thirty, you coward,” you argued. “Thirty million and a jet.”
“You’re not worth that much.” The dipshit diagonal to you pipes up with his unwanted and, frankly, useless opinion.
“And you are?” You whip around the best you can. “Henchman number four?”
“Megedagik,” he informs, standing up a little taller now that he was given some importance. “It means ‘killer of many’.”
“Did you just say your name was Mega Dick?” 
“Megedagik,” he corrects.
You stare at him hard before turning away. “Alright, other than Mega Dick here, does anyo-”
A knife lands right next to your feet, driven at least an inch into the ground. You look up at the guy you managed to piss off within four sentences, his face now a beet red. 
“These are brand new, asshole,” you barked, shaking your shoes around. “You’re gonna pay if there’s even a scratch on it.”
“Permission to kill her?” Meg growls, casting a side eye at Chad.
The boss man looks at you thoughtfully, assessing the repercussions of what might happen. You raise an eyebrow.
“Slow and painful,” he settles. 
A small smirk makes its way onto your face. 
“Title of your sex tape,” you quip as the man in the corner storms towards you.
_____
It’s all a flurry, really. A bunch of inexperienced newcomers versus one of the most skilled assassins the world had ever seen? Ten minutes tops.
Bucky doesn’t do any serious damage. A couple of broken bones but only out of necessity, a lot of concussions, and maybe a bullet wound, or three, here and there. 
Most of the time he spends thinking about things that have absolutely nothing to do with what was going on. He forgot to take his laundry out of the machine. There was a biscotti recipe he had been procrastinating on trying. His succulents needed watering but he could do that once he was back. Was he wearing his good combat pants or was it the pair that had a hole in the pocket?
His left hand thrust outwards to shove someone away while he stuck his right hand into his pocket to check if it had frayed away. The person he pushed slams into a wall with a loud groan and no, his pants didn’t have a hole in them. 
He stops to take a breather, assess what was going on. There are bodies scattered all around, mostly writhing in pain from minor injuries. Someone very bravely stands up, hands posed in front of him in a regular fighting stance.
“You sure about this?” Bucky asks, reaching for one of the concealed knives he hadn’t had a chance of using yet. It twirls rather nimbly between his fingers for something so dangerous, the hilt finally landing in his palm for a sturdy grip.
The man takes one look at the knife before sitting right back down on the ground. 
“Good choice,” his voice drops to an octave lower than his self-esteem. He’s tired of this old routine but it works like a neat little party trick, often getting him the result he wanted. “Where?”
A few fingers point down the hall to the only room whose door was closed.
He makes sure to step over everyone who was lying along the way, ears tuned in to even the smallest of noises just in case one of them decided to attack him from the back. It doesn’t come.
He doesn’t bother creeping down the hallway. With all the ruckus that just went on outside, he’s pretty sure it’s obvious that they had an intruder. 
Bucky kicks in the large steel door with ease, given that it was barely hanging on its hinges. His gun’s raised, muscles tight, and senses on high alert for any immediate threats. 
It lands with a large thud, reverberating through the room. He’s reminded of your first meeting with him.
There’s a chair in the middle of the room with a person tied to it by a mixture of rope and tape. Others found themselves slithering around on the floor in a similar fashion, trying to get out of their bondages.
“Hey, James,” you call out, drawing his attention to you. You were sitting atop a table, legs swinging back and forth without a care in the world, a blade in your hand. 
“You okay?” He tucks the gun into his waistband when he realises that none of the henchmen are going to be going anywhere soon.
“All good.” You hop off the table with a little spring in your step. “Did you bring your bike? I need a ride back to the lair. I think I left the TV on when I was, you know, getting kidnapped.”
“You coulda teleported back home before all of this even happened.” Bucky does a quick assessment of your body to make sure there weren’t any bruises or anything of the sort. “Avoided the whole thing.”
“Don’t have the watch with me.” Odd, since he knows you consider it one of your essentials but it just fuels his theory further. “Besides, if I just quit before we started, they’d keep messing with me over and over again.”
“Do you want me to punch someone’s face in?” He glances around the room at the ones wiggling about on the floor like fucking worms. “I’d be happy to.”
“Nah, I got a few in myself.” You rotate your wrist, other hand still holding onto the knife. “You know what, maybe I’ll have another go.”
He simply makes a noise in acknowledgement before he places a hand on the hem of your shirt, gently reeling you back. “I think you fixed ‘em up real good. That’s enough for today.”
“Fine but only ‘cause you said so.” You huff, looking past him and at the weirdos on the ground. “You hear that? This man just saved your life. Say ‘thank you’.”
A muffled chorus of what sounded like appreciation echoed through the room. Bucky awkwardly looks around.
“Damn right.” You walk over to the guy in charge of the whole event, bending down to his level. “If you ever try to fuck with us again...”
You stare straight into his eyes, unblinking. You hold up the knife to his Adam’s apple. Chad doesn’t dare to move other than the thick swallow.
You raise your finger and flick him in the forehead. “Get a better costume.”
The corner of Bucky’s lip quirks upward.
“Let’s go, sarge,” you announce, standing upright again and making a motion to follow you. “D’you have an extra helmet I could use?”
“Yeah.” He had brought one along in his bag, assuming that you’d need one once he noticed the watch was missing in the footage.  
“Yay.”
The only storage space on his bike was under his seat and it’s just enough for an extra revolver. Clint asked him if it was his way of flirting with someone, give ‘em a quick spin around the city and then show them his gun. If looks could kill, Clint would be 7 feet under. 
“You sure you wanna ride it, though?” He cringes immediately when he realises what it sounds like, waiting for you to smack the innuendo in his face. “We could wait for SHIELD.”
“Don’t really have another choice, Bucky,” you say absentmindedly, strolling out the room as you tossed the knife behind you.
He frowns at your indifference but turns around for a second to look at Chad. The man in question looks back viciously, his grandeur from that morning basically deflated and left to die along with his reputation.
“Might wanna reconsider the name,” Bucky remarks, doing a quick sweep of the area once more. “Soul Crusher.”
He waits until both of you are outside the cell and the door is shut on the ringleader and his circus clowns, handlebar twisted out of place so that they don’t escape for the time being.
“One second,” he calls, touch gently lingering on your forearm to stop you without even thinking twice about it. A famously uncharacteristic move for him.
"Hm?” You don’t even look like you notice his action.
“You sure you’re good?” he asks seriously, actual concern slipping through the question. “Do you need medical assistance?”
“They couldn’t hurt me anyway.” There’s something strange about the way you say it, almost assuredly. “I’m good.”
“Okay,” he concedes, his hand darting back when he realises it was still on your arm. His eyebrows furrow when he realises how instinctively he had reached out in the first place.  He didn’t touch anyone, ever.
“What are we gonna do about them?” you inquire, stepping over someone on the floor to get to the exit.
“Marie told Agent Hill. They’re sending someone over.”
“They’re sending SHIELD for these wannabes?” Someone groans in protest from somewhere and you elect to ignore them. “Ew.”
“Just to make sure confidential information isn’t compromised in any way.” There’s a large bang that comes from the room they just left. Maybe one of them shot their teammate by accident. They were more than capable of doing it.
“I would never,” you exacted a little more solemnly, pushing the door open with your elbow to let the sunlight flood in.
“I know.” He doesn’t realise how dark it was in the warehouse until he steps out into the noon sun. “I’m pretty sure this is more about the fact that you were abducted.”
“For me?” The smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes the way he kinda likes. Something definitely felt off. “I love being class favourite.”
He doesn’t reply, a small grunt as he twists the handle of the warehouse door upwards, effectively jamming it. 
“Can I drive?” You bat your eyelashes at him innocently, disregarding the loud screaming that came from inside as those less injured probably regrouped for a last ditch attempt. 
“No,” he doesn’t hesitate in replying, handing you a helmet and buckling his own securely.
“But I just got kidnapped,” you complained, watching him swing a leg over the bike and straddle it. Okay then. 
“All the more reason for you not to drive right now.” He mentions for you to get on, squinting at the warehouse a few feet away.
“Fine, but next time I’m driving,” you grumble, climbing on the back.
“Do you even know how to?” His head is tilted to look at you from the corner of his eye, voice heavier on account of the obstruction on his face.
The door starts shaking violently and he knows for a fact that it won’t hold up for much longer. Some of those who he had knocked out probably had been shaken awake again for manpower. 
“I can learn.” You take a pause, mischief seeping into your next words. “You can teach me.”
“No.” He didn’t exactly practice what was considered safe, law abiding driving. He just got from one point to another and that’s all he cared about.
“Then I’ll do it myself.” You sound determined. “I’m going to leave a note for us in the lair.”
“You do that.” He revs the engine when something solid hits the metal door. As guessed, their usage of props to push it down faster was coming into play. “Now, can you hold on to something? We need to go.”
If only those idiots just realised that the windows covered by newspapers were right there, ready to be broken.
“Only if you promise to let me drive next time,” you say defiantly, drawing this whole ordeal out.
“Whatever,” he urges. “I promise. Now can we go?”
“Wait for it...” There’s a devilish smile on your face. “One.”
There’s a loud creak as the door finally gives way.
“Two.” The same people you left tied up in the room burst out, almost stumbling over each other in the process.
“Three,” he completes it on his own, not waiting for you to finish because God knows how long you’d stretch it out just for the drama.
Your excited screech of laughter as he narrowly misses a rod that gets thrown at him like a fucking javelin temporarily distracts him from the brain freeze he gets when your arms wind around his waist to hold yourself in place. 
There’s angry screaming and bullets that whiz past in an attempt to get him to stop but a swift turn around a corner, pulling the both of you out of their sight is enough to get rid of them. 
“We should get a few weapons and go back,” you yell over the wind rushing by, barely audible.
“You do that in your own free time,” he shouts in response, yanking you through narrower lanes and less popular streets.
“Maybe I will, you bore.” 
Still, you shut up for the rest of the ride, only grumbling when he stops the bike to tell you that no, you cannot let go just because you want to throw your hands in the air like in the movies.
You hop off when he finally pulls up on the street outside your lair, adrenaline still pumping through your veins. He waits patiently as you unbuckle the helmet, switching off the engine. 
“You gonna drop me off at my door too, now?” You snicker, fingers pulling off the helmet.
He looks at you for a second before dropping the kickstand into place and dismounting from the motorcycle.
“I was kidding.” You laugh, handing him your headgear that he shoves into his backpack. 
“You’re pretty capable of gettin’ abducted along the way.” An absurd notion, considering it’s a short path from the road to the door. 
“Oh, how chivalrous.” You let him tag along anyway, for his peace of mind. 
“My ma didn’t expect any less.” A couple of sharp lessons from Winifred Barnes and Bucky was nothing short of a damn angel. 
You knock on the door three times, crossing your arms over your chest as you waited. 
“Aren’t you the one with the key?” Bucky questions, one hand on his waist. 
The door swung open in the middle of his sentence revealing... you.
Another you.
“Nah, she has it.” Ex-Kidnapped-You raises your head in acknowledgement at Doorway-You.
“Ah.” He fucking knew it. An unnatural sense of smugness blossoms in his chest. 
“Hey,” the both of you said at the same time.
Doorway-You looked way more relaxed, a little less grimy and dishevelled but exactly the same.
“Buck, I see you met my other half,” the you from the doorway greets him. “Or other whole, actually.”
“Sure did.” He sends a glance at Ex-Kidnapped-You.
“You can go on in. Big first day, huh?” Doorway-You refers to the you beside him.
“You wouldn’t believe,” Ex-Kidnaped-You mutters, pushing past the entrance and disappearing inside.
“She gonna be okay?” His gaze trails after your clone.
“Oh yeah, just needs to recharge.” You turn around to make sure she’s fine. “She’s made of some pretty strong carbon, technically almost indestructible.”
No wonder ‘you’ said they couldn’t hurt you.
“Heya, sarge.” You draw his attention back to you. “Always good to see you.”
“Can’t really say the same about you.” 
“Ever the emotional repressor, Mr Barnes. I like this little leather show you got going, did ya wear it just for me?”
He shifts his balance to his other foot, feet slightly wide apart. “Take it that the clone machine finally worked?”
“I was in the middle of celebrating.” You sigh, recalling the events of that morning. “Teleported home for a second to get some champagne and when I came back she was gone.”
“Irresponsible.” He tsks, head shaking in disappointment. 
“Sorry I didn’t take amateur kidnappers into account for my risk factor analysis, Bucky,” you shoot back, pressing on his name for added annoyance. “Anyway, I did the responsible thing. I sent all the evidence I had to you guys.”
“Real clever.” Bucky looks at you in dry amusement. “Attack on the clone? Really?”
“Hey, always make time for a good pun.” You finger gun, lopsided grin on your face. “Did the team like it?”
“They thought it was a typo.” Or a code. He really had Wanda to thank for his big revelation. “Your video didn’t help either.”
“Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.” You laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.
He doesn’t reply, pursing his lip inwards in sympathy, but more so to conceal a smile.
The happiness drops from your face slowly, horror taking its place. “Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.”
“Good job, your machine worked,” he adds helpfully.
“C’mon, there were so many differences,” you whine, the success of your endeavour the last thing on your mind. 
“That is your literal clone,” he points out, only to see you- clone you- walk into the giant box in the corner of the room, bright green light emanating from it like a xerox machine.
“How could they not tell the original apart from a copy?” You look genuinely offended. Insane. “Not even Sam?”
“Guess you’re not unique enough.” A rise and fall of his shoulders signify his attitude towards this whole thing. “Think I like your copy better, too, actually.”
“You’re so mean.” You puff in disbelief. “I’m a 100% original. How many mad scientist teachers do you know?”
“Two.” 
“I don’t mean now, that’s not even the-” You poke at his rock hard chest. “You are so much more annoying than when I first met you.”
He thinks it’s good relationship development.
“I have to deal with you every weekend.” He watches your finger drop from his chest. “Picked it up along the way.”
“Boo hoo, talking like you don’t have deep, deep feelings for me.” You roll your eyes. “I see right through you, Bucky Barnes.”
“Can you see the part that couldn’t give less of a shit?” He gestures to himself. “It’s all of it.”
“You think you’re such a comedian, huh?” You narrow your eyebrows. “How did you know she was a fake then, huh?”
Busted.
“Probably ‘cause you didn’t talk as much today,” he dodges. “Actually had some peace of mind for a change.”
“You knew before you got there, you liar.” You push past his fabrications. “You figured it out before everyone else.”
“You literally put it in the title.”
“Yeah, but the rest of the team saw it too.”
“Rest of the team didn’t know you were building a goddamn clone machine for months.”
“You remembered that?” You pulled away, palm over your heart. “Oh, sarge, you paid attention to me.”
His nose twitches.
“You said it, like, eight hundred times.” He could use both his hands to count the number of references you had offhandedly made in the last three weeks alone.
“Why'd you go save me when you knew it wasn't real?” you continue to challenge relentlessly, knowing fully well that he was fibbing. 
“Because you fuckin’ peer pressured me. Had the whole team around me when you sent your little video during breakfast.”
“Just admit it,” you coo, ignoring all his justifications. “You noticed it was fake me right away but showed up anyway because you’re wildly in love with me.”
“No,” he says stiffly. 
“No as in you won’t admit it you have a crush on me, or no as in you didn’t know it was fake me?”
There was no winning this. 
“Good day to you.” He pulls the motorcycle helmet on to hide the expression that plain as day screamed the former of your two options.
“Also,” you bring up indignantly, “she even got to ride the fucking bike and I’ve been asking to drive it for months now!”
“We-” he chooses his words carefully. “-compromised.”
“Oh, you did?” Your voice lowers at the newfound information, interest piqued. “I’m gonna hold you to that then, whatever it is.”
“Doesn’t count.”
“Absolutely does,” you huff. “A promise is legally binding. Blue’s Clues taught me that.”
“Bye, Y/N.”
“You’re my knight in leathery armour,” you swoon, switching sides immediately, “Kinda.”
“See you next week,” he says in farewell, determined to leave before you made it worse. “Try not to get killed by then.”
“Why, so you can do it yourself? Protective much?” You pull him back when he starts walking away, laughing slightly. “Wait a second, you weirdo.”
He sighs, staying put anyway, arms crossed impatiently over his chest.
You pull out the pen tucked behind your ear and slowly tap him twice on each shoulder in a makeshift knighting ceremony. “For your sacrifice.”
He rolls his eyes at the ludicrousness, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth.
You ignore his lack of enthusiasm, pressing your fingertips to your lips in a small kiss and then to his nose, given that it was the only part of his face you had access to.
“That was for your bravery.” You grin brightly at him and he sure as hell is glad he’s wearing the stupid helmet because he can feel his cheeks light up a bright crimson.
“Thanks.” His voice sounds gruffer than a second ago. He clears his throat.
“Now you’re my knight in leathery armour,” you fawn, nearly falling over yourself dramatically. “Let’s ride into the sunset together. I love you.”
“You’re ridiculous,” he calls out over his shoulder, turning away to return to his bike. “I despise you.”
“But you don’t.”
He really didn’t.
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also i managed to fuck my phone up really bad so all proceeds from my ko-fi go towards getting it fixed
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nightcolorz · 3 years
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Poorly describing my versions of the Gotham rogues:
Joker: “yolo” in its most dangerous form, def is writing a slow burn enemies to loves fic about him and Batman. Gay and homophobic 💯 The other rogues don’t invite him to pride celebrations anymore cause he’ll keep calling people slurs “as a joke”. Him and Edward have longterm beef, like schoolgirl levels of petty drama.
Harley Quinn: would describe herself as a “girlboss” unironically while committing heinous crimes. tweeted “clowns aren’t funny” after breaking up with Joker (ended up causing a huge scandal). The OG “I can fix him” girl. Is sort of the rogues free underground therapist (god knows they need it) cause they can’t get professional help without being sent to Arkham.
Poison Ivy: Breaking News: Cottagecore lesbian commits mass murder cause her plant wilted. She’s what republicans think environmentalists are. Would get in a fist fight with that vegan teacher cause “plants have feelings too”. Has beef with most of the male rogues, supports ‘kill all men’ without realizing it’s a joke (she prefers ‘kill all humans’ but figured she had to downgrade because the Gotham city sirens are humans technically).
Cat Woman: “OH NO! It appears I’ve gotten stuck backwards in the bank vault step-Bat 😏😏😏😏😏😏, looks like I’m not stealing any more diamonds today 😰😩”. Mad respect for Selina, she just wants diamonds and bat dick, no tragic backstory or complex motivations needed. I personally like to headcanon her as wearing a straight up cat costume (ears and a tail like a true furry) cause it’s way funnier to imagine a sophisticated rich woman dressing up as a cat to steal shit than whatever bullshit DCs up to these days. Trans catgirl supremacy 💎👍
Scarecrow: That one guy who gets angry at people because “Halloween costumes are meant to be scary 🤬😡😑😒”. Doesn’t even attempt to express emotions, is the human embodiement of this emoji: 😐. His presence is more jarring than threatening, his intimidation levels are somehow underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. The other rogues have collectively decided that he’s asexual under no assumption other than that they don’t want to imagine Jonathan having sex. Overtime Jonathan has become basically fearless (he smokes his own fear gas like vape just to feel something). Jonathan and Harley became good friends when they both worked in Arkham, their dynamic is surprisingly wholesome.
The Riddler: Didn’t get hugged enough as a child and is now making it everyone’s problem. Would hold a bank hostage to show Batman his third grade spelling bee medal. Is the only autistic rogue that gets accommodations in Arkham because he won’t stop bugging the guards. FTM trans ofc (his names Edward Nygma for Christ's sake). He ran away from home at seventeen and faked his own death (his deadname is legally dead lmao). Uses the terms “alpha, beta, and omega male” unironically.
Two Face: “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t wanna blow up the orphanage either, but Y’know the coin said-” The other rogues talk to Harvey as if he’s constantly at his breaking point, which is half true. Harv is a stone cold mf, he’s the rock that’s holding Two Face together tbh. Edward calls Harvey and Harv Jekyll and Hyde cause he’s that original. All the rogues have at least a sneaking suspicion that Bruce Wayne is batman and use Harvey as their little primary source (being ex besties and everything), until they find out Selina and Bruce are a thing of course. No matter how much evidence he’s faced with Harvey will never accept Bruce Wayne is batmam, he’s not ready to consider that one of the only positive people in his life has been duking it out with him this whole time.
Penguin: He’s the rest of the rogues chill gay gangster uncle I don’t make the rules. The iceberg lounge is like the Batman villain equivalent of The Central Perk from friends (aka: its their default place to hangout). Oswald always makes a fuss about them not making reservations ahead of them but at this point it’s just performative. Everyone’s 99% sure Oswald and Edward fucked at some point (Edward always makes a show of flustering Oswald when he needs a loan). Ossie always takes care of the others belongings when they’re in Arkham (he has a special place in his heart for Jonathan‘s crows).
The Mad Hatter: I love Jervis lmao he just really likes Alice in Wonderland and that’s a valid ass villain motivation 👍. One of the smartest rogues but doesn’t get enough credit because of how childish he is. He dresses in kids clothes, not just because he wants to but because he’s small af and can’t fit in shit. In public while the rogues are undercover Jervis usually wears a beanie or a baseball cap (he’d get spotted instantly if he wore his usual, but on bad days Jervis can’t bear to be without a hat). Jonathan and Jervis play chess a lot together in Arkham, and frequently engage in intellectual discussion, Edward tends to be a piss baby when Jon encourages him to do the same, he’s not ready to accept the reality that Jervis can match his intelligence.
Killer Croc: Waylon has a surprising amount in common with Jonathan, they share southern solidarity. He doesn’t travel out of the sewer often so the rogues will occasionally come to visit Waylon there (Edward always makes sure to complain loudly about the smell). Will show immense affection and loyalty to anyone who treats him as human (poor guy just needs a friend ☹️).
Mr Freeze: Literally just dead inside, someone give this poor bastard a hug. Victor stands as the most awkward rogue, he‘s sorta like the odd one out. The other rogues don’t interact with him that often because he’s sort of a party pooper. He’s the straight friend on thin ice, haha get it. Mr Freeze is my sisters favorite Batman villain because she thought the ice puns were funny in Batman in Robin, little does she know I’m embarrassing myself on tumblr in her glory.
Music Meister: So many of the Gotham rogues have horrible childhood trauma and Music Meister is just like “people bullied me for being a theater kid 😩😭💔😔”. In all honesty he’s iconic, in my au universe thingy I have him join the dork squad latter on and he sticks out like a sore thumb for a bit. I feel like him and Jervis would really hit it off though (mind control buddies, ha), although Jervis would always get him to sing Alice in Wonderland songs. In Arkham they have him wear a dog collar thingy and zap him when he sings, he gets bullied for that lol. anyways I’m sure I could make more of these, but it’s 2:20 am and my mind went blank. If y’all liked this I could always put more au headcanons out (I have A LOT)
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
Text
ain't it fun? | Part five
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Summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.
Warnings: pregnancy, chronic illness, spencer's career chance - he's a high school teacher now, they have a 1-year-old, smut at the end but not graphic.
word count: 2.8k
a/n: I imagine this is in season 10, so they've been together at least 7 years-ish now, I just jumped well into the future because I wanted to! also, Cordelia's nickname is Edie and pronounced Ee-dee !!
P1 P2 P3 P4
“No.”
Spencer sighs, “are you going to like any of my suggestions?”
“When you give me a baby name that isn’t from some weird old male book character, then yes, I’ll take them into consideration,” she replies, hand on her stomach as she lays back against the pillows.
She was huge, 9 months pregnant and so, so close to the finish line. She was swollen and in pain and exhausted. Going off every single medication and recreational drugs to make a life was a commitment and a half, she was doing well but she was so ready to be done. To do a few more months of breastfeeding and then go back on her medications.
Spencer was terrific. He was googling and asking Penelope to research things, he had called doctors he knows and friends and did everything in his power to find a way to ease her pain even before they got pregnant. He’s taken the last 3 months off of work and he doesn’t know when he’ll go back. He has just been so, so incredible the whole time.
Naming a child was hard. You had to not only think about all the nicknames and what their initials spell, but you also had to think about how they’ll like it; if it’ll fit their personality and spirit. And most of all, is it going to get them bullied? There are some terrible kid names. Like Richard… how do you name a newborn Richard?
“I want something meaningful with a nice nickname and works with our names and her siblings,” she whispered towards him. “They need to all work together.”
“What are some of your favourites?” He asks, moving in closer and finding a way to cuddle in with her and her pregnancy pillow who has all but replaced him lately.
“I like earthy names, like Lennox, Juniper, Aspen, Elowen,” her voice is really soft, she bites her lip at the end as she thinks them over again. “And old things like Cordelia and Winnifred.”
“Which one sounds the best with Reid?”
“I like Cordelia Reid the most, and then we can call her Edie and I was thinking you can pick her middle name?” She’s been thinking about it for a while, but too afraid to know his opinions.
“Cordelia means core in Latin, which makes sense cause she already has my heart,” Spencer teased, he has made it very clear that their little girl is going to be spoiled, loved and a daddy's girl.
He took all his fears of being a bad dad and threw them out the window. He knew that just being there was all he wanted from his dad, and so that’s what he was going to do. He left the BAU for the time being, he was doing the odd lecture at the academy and answering calls for cases. They couldn’t just stop using his brain, there were some things too pressing to not ask the walking computer, but other than that, he was done.
He was looking into other jobs for when he finally decides to go back, he was unsure how long of a paternity leave he wanted. He was really content with just staying home all the time now, but he did miss going out and being useful during the days. The job he was most interested in, however, was a high school teacher.
A prep school in DC is looking into adding an Anthropology, Psychology and Sociology course to their curriculum, and they wanted Spencer. They thought he would be perfect for the seniors, he is fun and young and attentive, he can control a room and keep them entertained, and he’s probably the best teacher a kid could get.
It was going to make him a good dad too.
“I think Jade is a nice middle name,” he adds after thinking it over for a few minutes.
“Cordelia Jade Reid,” she says the full name for the first time and it just feels right, like they already know her.
She was very calm for a newborn baby.
She liked to just look around and blink, she licked her lips a lot and she was constantly breaking out of her swaddle. She was always happy to have cuddles with her dad and she pooped every night at exactly at 3 am, without fail. She didn’t cry a lot, but when she did it was still wonderful to hear.
They were so in love with her, she was absolutely perfect for them. She fit right into their sleeping schedule and their life, she ate like a pro, she slept most of the night and she was growing way too fast for their liking.
One day they’re crying over the fact they made a life in a tiny little hospital room, and the next thing they know she’s about to turn 1.
She’s sitting in bed with Y/N, she’s sitting in her lap with two handfuls of hair and a story to tell. She’s been babbling so much lately, she hears them talking all the time and she wants to join so badly. They indulge her, asking her to continue her thoughts and gasping at her gossip.
“No way, and what did you do next?!” She asked the little one sat in her lap.
Edie babbled on once more, smacking her tongue on the roof of her mouth as she pushed air past her vocal cords, humming and making the funniest sounds. She went on and on, she was so enthusiastic, like her father, as she waved her arms around to make her point.
“That is so fascinating, you are so cool, little Edie,” Y/N hyped her up, smiling at her as she leaned in close and pressed their noses together.
Cordelia laughed and it finally made Spencer giggle too, he had been watching from the doorway as his ‘wife’ and daughter talked in bed. They were best friends already, always talking and snuggling, learning or reading together. She was always happy when she was with one of them, she was needy and snuggly and very co-dependent but they didn’t mind, they preferred all the attention from her.
“Look who’s home,” Y/N whispered and Cordelia shot a glance towards the door, she smiled and screamed as she saw him.
“Hi Edie!” He waves at her with a smile, he takes his bag off and places it by the dresser followed by his blazer.
He gets into the bed and she instinctively reaches for a hug. He wraps her up and she snuggles right into his neck, with a fistful of his shirt, she just holds him there. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t home all day anymore, she missed him for lunch and at nap time but she loved the new routine of a snuggle when she woke up and he got home.
Spencer leans back against the pillows beside Y/N, turning his head to capture a kiss from her lips. They always just spend a quick second kissing when he gets home, even if it’s just a peck or a full-on passionate make-out, he always kisses her when he comes home. He smiles at the end of the kiss, pulling her into a hug too.
“I love Fridays,” he whispers, “Edie do you know what Fridays mean?”
She pulls away and sits up, she loves to listen to him. “Friday is the last day of the school week, which means I get to spend 2 whole days with my favourite people now.”
Edie smiled, almost like she understood what he meant, and then she was talking again, it was completely incomprehensible but they imagined she was telling him about her day.
“You forgot the part where we went to the park,” Y/N added.
Cordelia looked at her with wide eyes, “dada,” was the only word she said before babbling on again and they both stopped.
“Did she just?” Spencer was shocked and frozen still after asking.
Y/N sat up and looked right into Cordelia’s eyes, “who is that?” She pointed at Spencer.
“Dada!” She said it again and they were suddenly all squealing, even Cordelia was suddenly excited as she kept screaming dada over and over again.
“Can you say, mom? Or mama? Mummy?” Spencer tried his hardest to find an easy way for her to say it.
“Mumm,” she pushed her lips together to hum her M sound and Spencer was floored, he bounced her up and down a small amount as they cheered.
“Smartest girl in the world!” Spencer cheered her on before pulling her into another hug.
Y/N was crying softly, little tiny dreams that she didn’t even know she had were coming true every single day with them. She knew she wanted to be a mom when she was growing up, all those dreams died when her illness got worse and they all warned her that having kids would put her at risk of being moneyless and that working wasn’t an option to even support them. Let alone the threat of them taking them away just because of her autism or depression possibly being considered ‘too bad’ to care for them.
Spencer took all those fears and he kicked them out. Every day she got to experience the most precious gifts the world had to offer, her daughter was perfect and her husband was incredible. Together they were a perfect little family that ran on trust, love, and communication. Always talking, always hugging, always there for each other.
They crawl into bed much later than they expected to. Cordelia didn’t want to go to bed, she was trying her hardest to keep staying awake to spend time with them but eventually, sleep won. They finally placed her in her crib with her white noise and her complete darkness and closed her door for the next few hours of peace.
They both let out a deep sigh before rolling to face one another. “How was your day?” He asks, like always.
“Good,” she smiles, “I think having a kid and getting on her schedule was the best thing I’ve ever done actually, cause I’m sleeping on time, I’m eating when she does and I’m outside a lot more. She’s given me this purpose and it’s rewarding on my body.”
Spencer moves in so he can kiss her nose, “I love hearing that.”
“How was your class today?” She asks back, loving his little stories about all the 17 and 18-year-olds that were fascinated by him. As well as the kids who thought it was cool to try and pick on him before getting the shit verbally kicked out of them in front of the whole class.
It was interesting seeing him in a form of authority, he never really took charge at the BAU, she’s never seen him yell at his friends and he’s never really yelled at her either. He’s been incredibly calm, so to see him verbally tear someone apart by acknowledging their biggest flaws to make sense of why they feel the need to bully, it was pretty intense.
“They were a lot better today, they enjoyed the lesson and the kids that were giving me trouble skipped, I guess he really didn’t appreciate me calling him out that bad on Tuesday,” Spencer smirked, rolling his eyes like he cared.
“I still can’t believe that he thought it was okay to call you names in front of other students, where is the respect these days?”
“Well,” he’s about to do what he always does. He can never be truly mad at someone because he knows why everyone does what they do and that they can’t help it. “In his file, it says his parents are newly divorced, we get a list of all the kids information on the attendance like allergies and things, but also small info like life changes in case they act out.”
“Doesn’t mean he can call you the f slur,” she whispers, “all because you wore a purple shirt?”
“If I met his father I’d probably get an answer for that,” he adds, “if he’s afraid to show his emotions around his son, it’s probably why his son thinks colours are gay.”
It makes her laugh, “you look hot in purple too so I don’t see the problem?”
“Do I?” He teases, getting in even closer and pressing their bodies together.
She rolls her eyes before wrapping her arms around him and leaning forward for a quick kiss, “I think you look sexy all the time.”
He kisses her as a thank you, “I think the same about you.”
“Even when I haven’t showered in 2 days because she cries if she can’t see me and she cries if she gets wet?” Y/N laughed, annoyed but in love with their little monster at the same time.
“Always,” he reminds her. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she kisses him again after.
There are probably a million more things to share from the day, but they spend their time kissing instead. It’s been too long since they’ve just rolled around in the sheets making out like they did in the beginning. Before they ever had sex, before they had kids and a house and a love as strong as they do now.
A part of them missed the early days when everything was new and exciting, but she also loved the fact that they knew each other so well that they didn’t have to communicate anymore. They ran like 1 unit, always completing the other person's thoughts, needs and wants. They were so unbelievably happy.
She wants him badly and he wants her just as much, and he’s about to take her when she pulls back. “Nope, as much as I love her I can’t get pregnant again for at least another year.”
It makes him laugh as he pulls away and rolls over to look through his nightstand for a condom, “it wouldn’t be that bad?”
“You carry it then, seahorse it up,” she teased. “I like being back on my medicine, I need some time to be okay before I go through all that again.”
Once he’s all situated in the latex and back between her legs, he hovers over her, so close that their lips are touching ever so slightly. “I am fine if it’s just the three of us forever.”
“I’m not,” she smiles, “there will be 4 of us one day, just not today.”
With that, she’s pulling him into another kiss as he pushing inside. It’s a feeling she’s accustomed to but will never be used to, it’s a stretch that shouldn’t be as intoxicating as it is. She holds him closer as she plays with his tongue in her mouth.
He was so good at everything he did, especially the sex. He knew every single part of her body now and exactly how to push all her buttons the right way. She could live in the moment of his pumping in and out of her while his thumb circled her clit and his other hand groaned her breasts. Eventually, he kissed down her throat and she was a mess of breathy moans and low gasps.
Writing in the sheets, her legs wrap around him as she tried to pull him in even closer. It was impossible to get closer but he was still too far away, she wanted to absorb him and live in him forever. He was her safe place and she never wanted to be anywhere else.
As her orgasm bubbled, so did his. The both of them gasping and panting, she whined as she breached the edge and gripped his back, “Spence!”
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered before fucking into her harder and faster, pushing her through it as he reached his own.
His movements on her clit never stopped and suddenly one felt like two and she wasn’t sure when the rush was going to stop and she didn’t care when it did. It was powerful, soothing and euphoric. A high she could live in for a while and return to it without problem as long as she had him.
He came with a small moan, trying to keep quiet as he muffled it into her neck, stilling his hips on his last thrust and dropping onto her more. Her hands were all over his back as she pressed kisses to his forehead, coming down but not wanting the love to stop there.
The love was never going to stop there for them. Their love was never-ending, and somehow as she held him there in her arms and felt his breath on his neck, she turned to see the baby monitor with their peaceful child sound asleep down the hall, she loved him even more now somehow.
Loving Spencer Reid was like falling down a bottomless pit. She never knew when she was going to reach the end, but she was content with falling.
smut taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk
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danny-chase · 2 years
Note
Hello! Do you have any thoughts on Joey's relationships with the indibidual titans?
I do! Sorry this took so long to respond to. These are mostly rambles that use canon as a jumping off point rather than things discussed in canon itself.
1. Joey and Raven
This scene lives rent free in my mind
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Tales of the Teen Titans #45
Anyways their relationship is one of constantly trying to understand each other better. This panel really sets the scene for their relationship imo. Joey enters the group at kind of an awkward time and is able to see Raven in a way that the others have struggled with recently - he sees her struggling with Trigon and so have the others but for the others it's sort of faded into the background for a bit while for Joey the issue is fresh and urgent and new. Which leads him to take drastic actions (possessing Raven) but he does so out of a place of genuinely wanting to ease her suffering and help her. Because how can he let his friend go through that? Even when Raven unintentionally hurts him he understands and doesn't blame her. Anyways she kinda(?) dies for a bit after this so it has to be super awkward for Joey, especially when everyone believes she's still out there somewhere but also things point to her being dead, but also he's not been there very long so he's unsure of his place, and he's grieving too, etc. It would have been a pretty messy time for him. I don't have too many distinct recollections of their interactions after she comes back, but I think it would be interesting to reflect on her emotional openness and could see himself in her.
2. Joey and Vic
A lot of Joey's relationships with others aren't explored in canon all that much but this relationship could be so interesting. Both of them really struggle in feeling insecure in their masculinity, Joey from his father's toxic ideas about manhood and Vic from his disability - he's said things like "i hate being half a man" and he's constantly referencing himself in dehumanizing ways 😭 because he feels like he's a "freak" 😭 and I feel like Joey would be able to relate on some level to not feeling like a man or feeling like a lesser man because of the way he was raised. They're also both incredibly kind characters and it would be really interesting if Vic had taken Joey to see Sarah's school. Idk I just love both of them so much I wish they had more interactions because genuinely they are both so sweet and loving at their core and could have very deep and meaningful conversations with one another. Another thing is that both of them feel as if they failed their respective father figures, and it would be interesting for them to discuss it. They're also both part of the disabled community, something that's integral to both of their characters and something dc has messed with (usually disrespectfully or ablelistly) - giving joey the ability to speak and while i don't think Vic's been 100% magicured, they've messed around with how much of his body is flesh vs metal, completely covering his prosthetics in at least 2 occasions i can think of. I don't trust dc to have these two have a meaningful discussion of the sometimes nonconsensual body modifications they've been through (like fr they made joey a floppy drive at one point 😭 okay technically Vic did that but it was the only way to save him because geoff john's is stupid). This panel lives in my mind rent free.
3. Joey and Kole
I really like this meta and i feels like it covers their dynamic in both convergence and the older series really well and paints a better picture of how convergence should have gone.
4. Joey and Gar
There's a lot here thats very questionable in terms of how the New Teen Titans was written in handling the Slade x Tara stuff because hoo boy, they victim blame the shit out of Tara and do not hold slade accountable at all, going as far as possible in the other direction and having Gar forgive him for sleeping with her 😒 in pretty much the worst part of the 1980 series. Gars feelings on the Tara and Slade situation impact pretty heavily how he feels about Joey, he doesn't trust Joey because he trusted Tara and she betrayed him. He doesn't trust Joey because he's Slade's son. Once he forgive slade and gets over Tara he's fine with Joey. But the way they had him doing that? Horribly disgusting. He canonically made a disparaging remark about sign language as well when Joey was trying to explain himself. What I would have liked to see instead is something more in line with Gar from the animated judas contract movie or animated teen titans cartoon (Gars the rare exception of a character who's been improved by fandom and dc writers not reading his old comics). Now a Gar that's grieving Tara and blaming Slade and knows that Slade is truly the one responsible and not blaming Tara would be more interesting interacting with Joey than what the comic gave us. It would be a sins of the father narrative in which Gar struggles to judge Joey based solely off his own merits and eventually comes around to him based off of Joey's own character rather than some stupid bs about forgiving Slade.
5. Joey and Donna
Donna canonically made a career out of photography in NTT/NT and it is just so sad that Joey and her never bonded over their mutual love of art. I would love to see them do some collaboration in their work, or host an art gallery together. Donna has a semi-motherly relationship to the other Titans however she doesn't really have that same pressure when it comes to characters like Joey or Vic, where it fits in more with Dick, Wally, Kory, and Gar and Raven to some extent. So it would be interesting to see these two interacting more because Donna doesn't really have that added layer of worry and pressure on him. Now another thing I find interesting is in the second Who is Donna Troy? event, Joey went into a dying Titan's body in order to allow Donna to learn more about her origin and made a very dramatic last minute exit. So to me I read a few things into that. Joey feels pressure to perform for his friends, in this case specifically Donna, to the point where he puts his own life in danger so she can learn more about her past (which mind you, is a big deal to her, but imo isn't something someone should die over - however, spoilers, multiple ppl do end up dying but it was a whole thing so it did end up escalating into a bigger deal). I really wish they would have talked about this after the event (Joey also pushes his limits for Dick pretty hard later on, it's a matter of survival), and potential implications of Joey putting his life at risk unnecessarily (in Donna's scene they're like Joey get out already a few times). And that's a conversation I think Donna Dick and Joey should have all had together.
6. Joey and Wally
They apparently share a room when they both stay at the same tower and conservative Wally + feminine gay Joey = disaster and I wonder sometimes about how that went
7. Joey and Kory
Now this would be interesting because they're both very emotionally open/available people, so I can see them having a very honest relationship. Now what is also interesting is that Joey has spent time on Tamaran (in what was a disastrous wedding arc) but despite the drama going on, he would have been able to see a lot of the beauty of Tamaran and I wonder how that would influence his art/if he would take inspiration from Tamaran and/or Kory, especially considering Kory herself is a model. Kory can be somewhat quick to judgement, whereas Joey strikes me as someone who's a bit on the slower side so they could balance each other out, mirroring Kory's and Dick's dynamic (without the whole romance thing) but with a different flavor because while Dick and Kory are critical of one another, I don't think Joey would be outwardly critical. Another thing with the visit to Tamaran is it allows for Joey to be much more informed than the other Titans when she wants to talk to a platonic friend about home, so I could see them bonding here as well.
8. Joey and Dick
I'm not gonna lie I ship it. I think it's fun to read more into the tons of lines of Dick being like "i don't want to trust him, but I feel this sense of awe and calm towards him" and so on. And there's panels where Dick just climbs into his room through a window and Joey's like "I'm ready" internally and then strips to his underwear. Like they could have had him just get dressed in one panel but nope, underwear!Joey panel. There's also the "get inside me" line which is funny out of context, especially when paired with one of Joey's female friends description of possession as "better than--" getting cut off. They're pretty soft with one another generally. Panels of Dick encouraging Joey during the Who is Donna Troy thing springs to mind, as well as another arc where Joey posses something to save Dick. Now something completely random I wished was addressed is there is straight up a time where Dick freaking tear gasses him in the Judas Contract and they're just like this is not a problem, I'm rambling here but, first of all, Dick's got a whole ass gas mask somewhere in his pants which is just ?😃? huh??? Now second of all, Joeys powers rely on him being able to open his eyes so Dick really just why would you spray tear gas everywhere ?👁👄👁? If he had room in his pants for one gas mask, why isn't there a second one? Anyways it was a throwaway panel that gives me too many thoughts.
Anways, ship goggles off, another interesting point in their relationship is again the time they spent on Tamaran together. There's a secret origins issue (iirc it was either that or another "special" series) where during their time on Tamaran Dick just monologues his entire origin story which makes sense out of universe as telling the origin story, but in universe Joey was close enough to Dick for him to tell his entire story to (and yeah ntt/nt Dick was more open than modern Dick, but still he doesn't just trust anyone). Another interesting thing is they both suited up as Nightwing and Jericho for the first time together, barely knowing each other, and that's just neat to me. Their histories intersect in an interesting way where they begin a new chapter of each of their lives together. We've all seen Discowing walking down the stairs, but Jericho was waiting at the bottom to meet him, and is cropped out of that picture like 90% of the time 😭.
So this was long and rambling, if you wanted like specific panels, I missed the point but had fun daydreaming about the titans 😅
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stxleslyds · 3 years
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you know how dc keeps forcing this sudden "we're a family" narrative out of nowhere? I'd love batfam content but years of hurt among them make the recent content seem unearned.
bc you know more about dick and jason than the others, how do you think they would realistically become family to each other, or would it even be in character for them to be the "bros" they're written as now?
Oh anon, this question is amazing, I love it! I saw it when I woke up and since then my brain has been brewing this answer, I was thinking about it as I brushed my teeth and as I was making breakfast, and now I am ready to give you the answer, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed thinking/writing about it!
DC keeps forcing the wrong relationships, and they keep forcing the wrong centre of this supposed family, they make it out to be the Bat-Family when in reality the Bat (Bruce) should have never been invited to this party.
This is why I give you the… Dick-Family!
Oh yeah baby, I am going there. Dick is the centre of this “family”, he is the guy who is actually connected with everyone, he has been around for so long and he has been present when almost all of the remaining characters were introduced! Bruce might have come first but that guy has nothing on Dick Grayson.
Dick has cared and loved for everyone in this family in a true and beautiful way, no matter how much fanon and DC try to tell us otherwise. This man was an amazing son to Bruce and Alfred (my love for Alfred and Dick is brought to you by @hood-ex), a fantastic brother to Jason, Tim and Cass as well as a phenomenal father/older brother to Damian.
Dick Grayson is the centre of this whole thing, and thanks to DC now being an Omniverse I will be able to explain my line of thoughts. But first let me clear some ideas up.
The way I see it Jason would only get along good enough with Dick. I am not here for Jason and Tim having brunch together (honestly, Lobdell, what were you thinking), Jason never cared for Tim, and then writers that didn’t know how the Red Hood worked made him try to kill Tim so, to me, that relationship is non-existent, Jason doesn’t really perceive Tim (yet).
Jason and Damian, listen, I know that there is this fanon theory that Jason knew and cared for Damian while he was in the League, but that is just fanon talk and it doesn’t really fit in canon either. Jason wasn’t really capable of doing much other than fight, and after he was put in the Lazarus Pit he either had to leave because Ra’s wanted to kill him or Talia took him to the All-Castle. So, Jason’s only real interactions with Damian would be when Jason was written as a crazy, blood thirsty dude that actually tried to harm a child. So, him and Damian wouldn’t really have a good relationship (yet).
Jason and Cass… that’s just a no. Jason and Barbara, I mean Barbara was older than Dick when she first met Jason, so they wouldn’t have much of a relationship.
Now, lets move on to how I will make the Dick-Family work.
Dick (bless him) actually talks and listens to people, unlike Bruce, so the change would start there. Let’s set the timeline, I will stand right after the events of Under the Red Hood. Bruce just chose saving Joker over letting Jason kill the Joker and the building they were in exploded.
Batman keeps on being himself (trash) and Jason, having survived the explosion, moves on to keep on building his empire. He really wants to control the drug trade in Gotham, so he works on that, he slowly but surely takes his place as a drug lord again and is a constant pain in Black Mask’s ass.
While Jason is doing that, Dick is trying to put together his life after Bludhaven was attacked with Chemo. Let’s say that Bludhaven isn’t completely erased from the map but he does have to leave so the city can be re-built. He goes to Gotham, where the Red Hood works.
Let’s say that Alfred told Dick who was under the Red Hood, so Dick being a good brother goes looking for Jason. Their first interaction out of the mask wouldn’t be nice, Jason barely remembers his life before the pit and he really is convinced that Dick is the absolute worst.
But then Jason being a nosy man would make an appearance, for some reason, let’s say that he hacks into the Batcave and when he does that he finds some footage… The footage in question would be the one which shows Bruce punching Dick and sort of blaming him for Jason’s death. (Oh yeah, I am going there). The footage will make a memory come to mind, Dick taking Jason on a skying trip.
So, the next time that Dick and Jason see each other is because Jason went looking for Dick and here is where these two actually talk. The way I see it, Dick is more flexible with the no killing rule, he has worked many times with people that are villains or that just have different ways of doing things. So, I think that he would understand where Jason’s coming from with his ideas. As they begin to understand one another Jason begins to recover more and more memories from before the Pit.
They get together once a week and they chat about life as well as vigilante stuff. They become friends.
At the same time Dick is also very good friends with Tim and also acts like the amazing big brother he is with him. They chat, they sometimes work together and one day they come across a very complicated situation involving a new drug being introduced in Gotham.
Dick would call Jason and now both of them and Tim are reunited in a safe house working together so this new drug doesn’t fall in the wrong hands. Jason and Tim wouldn’t really like each other. Both of them are there for Dick and because they have to get the job done.
That’s how I see Dick forming the Dick-Family unconsciously. Hell, I will introduce Barbara now. Do you guys remember that in UtRH Barbara was mad with Bruce and didn’t want to work with him but she was still in contact with Dick? Well, I am using that so it can fit my narrative.
Dick, Jason and Tim need more intel so Dick calls Oracle (real Oracle) and because Barbara trusts Dick she works with them.
Here is where it gets interesting, through Barbara, Dick meets Cass, through Tim he meets Stephanie. You see that Dick’s connections are leading him to form a group of people. Cass and Stephanie are trained by Babs and Dick and they become the new Batgirls.
As all of that keeps developing Jason and Dick become “partners in crime” they help each other, they start building a brotherly relationship again. Although Jason refuses to say that out loud.
Then comes in Damian, a difficult child if there has ever been one but he has Bruce so Dick doesn’t have to jump in that fast… right?
Oh brother! Bruce is dead (omg what would we do? Battle for the cowl maybe? No!). with Bruce gone there is only one person who can take his place and everyone knows it has to be Dick.
Dick would feel a lot of things as he is taking Bruce’s place as Batman but he has a group of people ready to back him up (Alfred, Jason, Tim, Babs, Cass, Steph), and he also has to take care of Damian, he is a child and with his father gone then maybe his mother would want to take him back to the League of Assassins, Dick obviously doesn’t want that so he talks to Tim and tells him that he sees him as his equal and that he has a plan to make Damian stay and it involves making Damian his new Robin.
Tim would obviously be sad and a little hurt, but he understands Dick’s decision because they talked about it and Dick actually took the time to explain why he was doing what he was doing (really DC half of the problems you guys come up could be fixed in seconds if people would only take some time to just TALK!).
Dick and Damian work as Batman and Robin and Dick starts assuming the position of his father. They would live with Alfred in the penthouse and maybe Tim will join them from time to time (when he wasn’t busy with Young Justice/Teen Titans stuff). Slowly Dick and Damian will become the Dynamic Duo that we love today.
So, Dick would have his own Robin, Oracle (who is also managing her own team with Black Canary and (why not) the Batgirls), Red Robin and Red Hood working with him if he needs them. They are always a call away. Jason is the most difficult to reach and he will only involve himself in that kind of drama if its about controlling the drug trade or scaring the living shit out of some very shady people.
So, Red Hood wouldn’t be working with the new (and improved) Batman but Jason would hang out with Dick sometimes.
From there they build up. Dick renovates Arkham Asylum and makes it work they way that it is supposed to work. He might also recruit Catwoman when he needs someone really sneaky, they have known each other for so long, I bet Selina loves Dick, she would certainly help him out.
But as all things do, this happy and well-connected Dick-Family is disrupted when Bruce comes back, he inserts himself slowly back into his role as Batman and as he does that Dick starts to move away from it.
But Dick’s connections are strong and well cared for, so, even when he goes back to Bludhaven and starts fresh (again) as Nightwing those connections remain. Oracle still gives him intel, Robin and Red Robin come over to Bludhaven to patrol, maybe they even have their own rooms at Dick’s place.
With Bludhaven functioning again, all of the terrible people that were working there also come back, maybe some of them never left and they have been corrupting the city from its very core. So, when Jason tells Dick that he would like to expand his operations to Bludhaven, Dick says yes, as long as Jason keeps him updated on his work and also lets him know what is going on.
I think it works! What do you guys think so far?
From then on with the whole Dick-Family being connected and strong I think they can actually act and solve their problems as a family. All those arcs that didn’t work very well because Bruce was in the middle of it being a jerk, I think they will work if Dick is at the centre of it. Let’s say that Bruce hid the fact that Joker knows their identities and all that, with such a strong family the second that the Joker tries to manipulate Jason into believing that he created him, Dick will come out of the shadows and shut that bullshit down. If Joker tries to do something to the Circus, then the Birds of Prey and the Robins will be there in seconds helping Dick.
The Court of Owls, those little shits wouldn’t stand a chance against this team, this force of nature! Jason would be the one working from afar because you know my boy wouldn’t be subjected to the “no-killing” rule but if he does it, he has to do it away from the children (Damian) and away from Cass, if he doesn’t want to know real trouble. (He probably arranged those things with Dick a long time ago and he is happy with it).
Now, please forgive me but for angst reasons I will actually let the events of, Batman Incorporated #8, Forever Evil, Nightwing #30 and Spyral run its course.
Let me explain, after Damian’s death Dick holds the Dick-Family together, as well as Bruce because he is amazing like that, but then after Dick supposedly dies, things change just a little bit. Jason would retreat back to his own corner because the only thing attaching him to the Dick-Family was Dick but he would also keep his eyes open and he might also have a direct line with Oracle if things go south.
Aside from Jason, I do see the others working on keeping their connections intact. When Damian eventually returns the land of the living, I can see all of them coming together even more because that’s what Dick would have wanted.
And then Dick will come back from Spyral and here is where the Dick-Family will show the “Bat-Family” why its superior to it in every aspect possible.
The Dick-Family will notice that something must have happened, Dick would never play dead and leave them like that, but Dick loves Bruce and he doesn’t want to tell them the truth, Bruce has no memories now and his family doesn’t deserve that kind of drama BUT Jason and Tim are suspicious, they know Dick at this point and they trust him so they firmly believe that he is hiding something to protect someone. And here is where life repeats itself. Let’s review the Batcave’s footage, yes, I did it again, I just love the fact that Bruce has footage of himself being the absolute worst to his kids, how does DC not use it! Anyway, Tim and Jason find the footage from the events of Nightwing #30 and suddenly the Dick-Family have their “Dick defence squad” jackets on and they are ready to party.
After all that Bruce eventually gets his memories back and he is held accountable for his actions. Also, around this time the events of Robin War would have already happened so Duke is also introduced. Dick lets him join and all that, and then Duke and Cass become besties and they work together.
And yeah, as Rebirth comes closer the Dick-Family would be more united than ever.
The end.
That is how I would have done it. But this way is slow, and DC wouldn’t be able to monetize it as much as they would want.
Jason wouldn’t be giving hugs and calling everyone their brother or sister, he will only get along with Dick and he would be professional with everyone else.
Tim and Damian would get along but they wouldn’t go for ice cream together on a sunny day. Steph and Damian would and so would Cass and Tim or Cass and Duke.
Oracle would work with Dick and the others as a side thing because her main thing would be the Birds of Prey, this time with Helena too.
Alfred would spend his time with Bruce but he would also be very aware of Dick and his influence on everyone around them. Bruce eventually would be integrated to the Dick-Family because Dick is a sweetheart but Dick would also make Bruce follow his rules, Dick is a little bean but he is also the most badass person in the room (whichever room) so you better listen to what he has to say.
The Dick-Family would be something that grows silently and doesn’t need a “Joker War” in order for them to be there for each other, they would try their best each step of the way and they will talk things out when mistakes are made.
This is the way that I see this family dynamic working.
I would even go as far as to say that Talia can be part of the Dick-Family because she is connected to three people, Dick, Damian and Jason.
Dick is the person with most connections in the DC Universe, the Titans, the Justice League, Deathstroke, they all have connections to this treasure of a man. If he needs help in Gotham or Bludhaven then he can call people from the “first circle”, if things are beyond a “street level” threat them he can call the Titans and if shit really hits the fan, Clark and the others are a call away.
Anyway, this was unnecessarily long, I am sorry about it but I am also not because I really don’t know how to answer your question without going on a long rant.
In conclusion the Bat-Family doesn’t work and sadly it wouldn’t work no matter how much they force it. These people don’t have connections, Bruce is not able to make connections between people. And DC has erased entire relationships that Dick used to have. I mean, they got rid of Dick and Tim being close brothers just so they could give us a shitty brunch between Tim and Jason? Only yesterday we saw a true and beautiful interaction between Dick and Damian.
DC is handling the “Bat-Family” in all the worst possible ways. It just doesn’t work.
They should have used Dick all those years ago and they shouldn’t have destroyed Jason’s characterization with Lobdell’s ideas.
So, sadly, my dear anon, I don’t see the Bat-Family as a in character thing for any of these people as they are written currently, but I hope that you enjoyed my version of it. May the Dick-Family bring everyone who reads about it a little joy!
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creatureofmystry · 3 years
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MLB x DC Universe Headcannons
I just love the idea of MLB and DC (expecially Batfam cuz Mari is such a Wayne) being in the same universe and crossing over. So one night, I just had an idea overload of different ways the Marinette would know the batfam/be a part of the DC universe. And if any of my shitty ideas somehow inspire or prompt you, then please be my guest. 😊 _
1) “Ladybugs of Past and Present”
Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother, was once a previous holder of the ladybug miraculous. When Fu activated the miraculous and put them in circulation, Hippolyta could feel its magic waking back up. Knowing there must a reason for it to be out, she sent a message to her daughter. Diana searched, finding Marinette and Adrien as the present holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous. She vouched and brought them into the Young Justice program while they also made their own team, Project: Zodiac (or something like that).
[Sometime when Diana takes Marinette to meet Hippolyta]
“Great Hera, Tikki, you have not aged a day” -Hippolyta, cause she does know how to make joke. 
“And I would say the same to you” -Tikki
“Mother, you can make a laugh?” -Wonder Woman, honestly a bit confused cause her mom have never not been serious before.
And Marinette is just speechless cause she’s starstruck meeting Wonder Woman’s mom AND a previous Ladybug holder.
_
2) “Rockstar Niece”
Jagged Stone is Marinette’s Sweet Uncle J. During the summers, Jagged Stone would take Mari with him on tour. HIs summer tours are throughout America, so Mari gets to sightsee the country. Jagged’s first tour that he gets to take Mari on (5-ish), he’s also booked for the annual (for whatever reason) Wayne Summer Gala. When Marinette meets the Waynes, they are so enamoured (Dick and Tim couldn’t help it) that they tell Jagged he’s always invited as a guest, Mari of course being added to the permanent guest list too. About 6 years later, Mari is practically adopted, spending the first half of her summers with Jagged, going to the Wayne Gala, then spending the rest of her summer with the Waynes. Overtime, she figured out the secrets of the family and was there to welcome Jason back from the dead (when that happens). Anyways, now 11(-ish?) Mari meets Damian and the two become good friends… after an… impressionable first meeting.
“Tch, let me guess, you’re another one of father’s adopted strays” -Dami
“YOU MUST BE DAMIAN!!! DICK TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!!” -Marinette, who just ignores what he said for a hug.
“hiiiiiiiiissssssss” -Dami, touchy with touch
“...” sprays water in his face since he decided to act like a cat.
“I say, Master Bruce, the children are getting along quite well” -Alfred
_
3) “Pen Pals” 
Jon Kent and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are part of an international pen-pal program, starting when they were very young (maybe like 4 or 5-ish, super super young) where they told each other everything (Jon can’t just say that his older bro is a clone made from Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, or that his dad is Superman, or that his best friend is Robin, but yea. Lois and Clark probably proofread his stuff until he’s like 9) with pictures and everything. When they’re old enough to get phones & stuff, they call, text and vid-chat along with their letters (love without blood). When Mari is maybe 9-11 (somewhere around there) she starts flying over during the summers to hangout with Jon (and his friends and big brother). While there, she meets Kon, Bat fam, and Clark (some who she already knew, some who she didn’t) & lightly hints that she knows who all they are once she figures it out (it didn’t take her long to do so). 
Now whenever she visits and is at Wayne Manor (Jon likes to have sleepovers practically every weekend) while they’re on patrol, Mari subtly messes with their minds (super subtle, they’re the world’s best detectives after all) until they finally look through the cams and see Mari giving them one of those smiles (those shit-grinning cause it’s just so hilarious how it’s gone on for so long) & and a playful wink. 
[5 seconds later]
“Mari!” “Pixie-pop!” “Angel!” “Teacup!”
“Seriously, am I the only one with a normal nickname for her?” -Tim
“Ms. Marinette would like to inform you that ‘it took you long enough’” -Alfred (who so knows that the girl has been playing them since the third night she stayed at the Wayne’s)
“Where are my adoption papers?” -Bruce (who is seriously adopting any talented black-haired child)
_
4) “Mari and Mar’i” 
When Mar’i is young, Dick and Kori take her with them to see Paris (btw, this would be during the winter). They’re strolling along through a park and lose track of Mar’i who finds Marinette (9-10 ish). Marinette comforts and distracts Mar’i while noticing the young(er) girl is Tameranian (her hair is very warm and she’s wearing significantly less layers than should be worn for a human of that age during the winter, plus that sun-kissed skin tone. She’s seen Kori in her fashion magazines (and, from time to time, on the news as an ambassador) so she easily make the connections). Dick and Kori finally spot Mar’i with Mari who introduces herself to them. Mar’i asks if she can see her “Auntinette” again and Marinette just goes “if your parents are okay with it.” Dick and Kori are totally cool with it (not many are willing to watch her and have the time to do it) so they ask Marinette if she can babysit Mar’i whenever (with good pay of course) if she’s up to it (cause she’s still pretty young). Marinette can’t say no to Mar’i’s babydoll eyes (and she’s so much easier compared to Manon, who’s only 2 rn), so of course, she says yes. 
Now Marinette is Mar’is official babysitter and sees Mar’i often whenever her parents drop her off (using zeta tubes to quickly get to Paris and back). Marinette gets treated like an honorary Wayne (cause she’s the most responsible) and gets invited to their family stuff (w/ travel pay taken care of, of course). It doesn’t take her long to realize the fact that she babysits Bruce Wayne’s & BATMAN’S granddaughter, but of course, being the responsible one she is, keeps the secret… while also playing with them via Mar’i.
[One Day]
After Marinette leaves for her plane…
“Uncle Dami!”
“Yes, Spawn?”
“Auntinette said to tell you after she left that Robin’s sut needs a major upgrade & that you look like a traffic light… whatever that’s supposed to mean.”
[Another Day]
“Uncle Jay!”
“What’s up kid?’
“Auntinette said that to let you know that Red Hood doesn’t make any sense ‘cause Red Hood wears a helmet. Not a hood.”
[The next time]
“Uncle Tim!”
Yawn. “yea?”
“Auntie told me to give you this” (pulls out super caffeinated coffee) “and that Red Robin’s cowl is a menace to all things fashion”
[Again…] 
“Daddy!”
“Yes, Starshine?”
“Auntienette said she’s proud of Nightwing’s costume ‘cause it’s one of the only in the batfam that isn’t an astro-city to the fashion society.”
_
5) “Marinette, the one who’s always getting chosen”
Before Mari became (becomes(?)) LB, she comes across a different powerful piece of jewelry, from a different order of guardians where her will of mind is not only her shield from being akumatized, but it is also what drives her powers. That’s right, Mari walks past a flea market and activates a GL ring. The guardians pick up on this activity and send Hal (it is his sector) to check it out. Hal finds the ring with Mari but it still needs the light of a GL to charge and fully work. 
[During the explanation]
“Look, kid-”
“Marinette.” 
“Look, kid, I just need to know why you have that ring.”
“You think I know? I was just walking through the market and all of a sudden, this possessed ring, if that’s even what this is, started following me, then zipped in front of my face til i held my hand up so it can put itself on my finger.” 
“Kid-”
“It’s MARINETTE. Get it wrong one more time and you’ll see why I don’t need a possessed piece of alien jewelry.” -Marinette, making sure you get her name right. “Besides, if I stole it, I would remember. I’m a klepto” -Marinette, probably holding his ring too at this point.
Hal obviously doesn’t want the wrath of the Dupain-Chengs (just the kid Marinette scares him enough), so he tells the guardians that JL will take care of most of Mari’s training (once they get her a lamp for her ring, of course) & has her take part in training at Mt. Justice with the Young Justice team and special training with the Bats. Mari does all this under the guise of an international student exchange program for Mari to stay with the Waynes (not yet knowing that it’s the bat fam) and attends G.A. Mari doesn’t do much, but it takes her 24-36 hours to know who EVERYONE is.
[the next week after settling in]
“Hey, Mars,” -Dick, in his Nightwing gear
“Hey, Di-is the GREATEST SHOW!” -Mari, changing the subject(… not really)
“How long did it take you?”
“Not as long as the Kryptonians…” -Mari, going off into a tangent (still trying to change the subject”
[When Marinette meets Tikki]
Back in Paris:
“Sooo… I’m getting powerful jewelry that gives me powers and a suit, needs to be recharged, and comes from some Order of the Guardians? What’s the difference between you and my ring?” -Marinette, who at this point is very confused as to why she keeps getting picked on for this kind of stuff. 
“One’s alien, one’s magic” -Tikki, hoping Mari will end it there & lowkey hates that the GL Corp. got to her first.
“They’re both non-human made energy sources” -Mari, cause once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it all before. 
“You can’t heal the Akuma without the miraculous, and there are more than just rings. Yours are earrings, there are hair clips, bracelets, necklaces and more” -Tikki, after having a minute to think
“Fine, only because you said they’re the only way to heal the, what was it again, akuma?”
_
6) “Their Unofficial Official Barista”
Part of Tim’s job as Co-CEO, is to make sure all the branches are running smoothly, sometimes that means he has to fly abroad to manually check in. Tim goes to Paris to check on the W.E. Paris branch. He goes to a nearby Patisserie (Tom and Sabine’s) to see a young Marinette (somewhere from 8-11) drawing in her sketchbook at the counter. She explains that her parents are at a catering event, but she’s there to man the little bakery. Tim asks for a super caffeinated coffee and Marinette makes it with ease, claiming it was on the house with how bad he looks (and how much sleep the man clearly needs). Tim begs for her knowledge and asks if she can teach his butler. Mari’s willing to show him the next time he comes, so he gets the whole fam to go (viz tubes so they don’t waste time) maybe a week later. Everyone gets their own drink (plus a free pastries) and Marinette teaches Alfred her coffee, but it’s just not the same so Tim, using the tubes, goes to get coffee from the girl whenever he can. 
Mari is horrible at getting up on time (the life of an insomniac, never getting to sleep even if you want and then barely waking up on time) that she is up super early, makes Tim his coffee (plus a croissant) and tries to go back to sleep (making her inevitably late). Tim would walk up to the pick-up counter where his cup and to-go bag is while Marinette runs out of the house to get to school. Eventually, the rest of the Batfam (as well as the Laegue, TT, and YJ) frequent the place, slowly becoming (Dami too) Mari hides it, but she knew all the batfam the first day they came and she showed Alfred how to make the coffee. When the others start making more regular appearances, she learns the identities of YJ team, WW, GLs, and others. Obviously when LB and CN appear as heroes with HM as their villain, they immediately reach out to help. Because 1. Batfam clearly notices that it’s Mari and they sure as heck won’t let her deal with that by herself, and 2. The JL is worrying too much about their favorite barista (even though she’s not really one), especially with the Gigantitan scare. So, of course LB & CN (can’t make him bad everytime) get inducted into YJ.
[After Ladybug finishes defeating Gigantitan and detransforms] 
“Bean! Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” -Tim, being an even more protective older brother than Dick, which shouldn’t be possible
“Yes, I promise. I’m fine” -Marinette, who just accepts the fact that she’s adopted an older brother (and his famliy)
“Tube over, we’ll have Alfred make sure” -Dick, already pulling out the medical supplies for Alfred.
“I-” 
“You shouldn’t worry your brothers like that, Marinette. Now come over so Alfred can clear you,” -Bruce, who just happens to overhear the conversation
“I’m sorry, Miss Marinette, they are very adamant that you’re in pitch perfect health before going out again,” -Alfred, who’s not actually sorry
“Fine” -Marinette, accepting her fate of her adopted, protective family. 
_
7) “Thicker Than the Blood We’ve Shed”
Why is Marinette so freakishly strong? Because she was trained to be. Before she could even talk, Mari was taught to be an assassin. She and Damian were frenemies, both competing for top spot as best in the League (of Assassins). They often spared together and became rivals who pushed each other (which sounds great in that context if you forget about the fact that they’re killing people and turning it into a competition). When Damian’s care is turned over to Batsy, Mari also comes along for the ride. She implements herself into Dami’s classes at G.A. & watches him from afar. (Damian, not being an idiot, of course knows all this and knows that it’s probably for Mari to give a report to Talia.) When he becomes Robin, Mari obviously knows, but waits to see if anything drastic would happen (his care was given to the Batfam, they had already expected this to happen.) She then heard word of the bounty Talia put on Damian’s head. Marinette knew there wouldn’t be much she could do to help, but she ave Dami a warning about the upcoming situation before fleeing the country. 
From there she got to France, changed her name (it wasn’t originally Marinette, it was Shénqí, chinese for miraculous/magical (or something else if you want)), was adopted by Tom & Sabine, and left her time in the League in the past. When she received Tikki, she didn’t want to be a hero because she didn’t think she deserved it after her up-bringing. Eventually, she did become LB (being a trained assassin does help with lucky charms, considering she was taught how to kill with basically every and anything), and life was good for her. Then Rossi came.
[Gotham field trip]
While at Wayne Tower…
“How idiotic are they?” -Damian, who after reuniting with his long-lost sister-from-a-different-mister (yes, Marinette was able to convince him to say it once), can’t understand the stupidity she has to deal with.
“Are you Robin?” -Mari, who is too tired, so just goes straight into the analogy
“Yes.” -Obvious and simply is.
“Exactly” -Mari, who can’t even put a limit to the amount of thought the one brain cell the class shares doesn’t use. I mean please, the so-called “reporter” believed that the first cosplayer she saw was the actual LB when they don’t even have the same hair! And let’s not forget the origins arc, where LB’s first citizen save was Chloe.
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jmoriarty-221b · 3 years
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So I saw somewhere a post that talked about how some fictional characters just have a divorce vibe going on, like, at no point in time were they ever married but they just give off that feeling that they got divorced
And now I can only think of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor having that vibe
And I spent close to an hour talking about this to my sibling and how it would be a good idea for a new DC show like, you can make so much money off of just the main Batfam alone and there are literally so many people in there that it’s just an amazing idea to have them all in a show together but kind of like a Good Luck Charlie kinda thing because there’s more than enough angst in the world
But in the case of not having enough of a budget for so many characters in one show I turned to the Superfam (Batfam is Huge like, I don’t even know half of the extended family version and that’s like at least ten characters so I could see why it wouldn’t be entirely feasible to have a show that included everyone while still being good with nice character development without having a billion dollars for the budget)
The Superfam, in my personal experience, is composed of Ma & Pa Kent (farm vibes plus I refuse to have either of them die in my AU), Clark Kent (main Superman), Lois Lane (Lana? was Smallville Lois i guess??? But idk enough about her so she’s not here), Jon Kent (Superboi II), Kara Danvers (Supergirl) & Conner Kent (Superboi I)
Now I’ve stopped watching CW shows like, forever ago??? But my brother kinda keeps up with them and basically the gist is that the ratings of every other show suck Except for the Superman & Lois show (because it’s 💫new💫) and I saw the cover of the poster like “Ah, the werewolf dude. . . mmmhhmmm that’s Lois yes, yes that’s Johnny boi, and um is that???? Nooooo, they wouldn’t do that to Conner right???? Please tell me they didn’t make Conner blonde” and I was informed that the blonde teen is Chris???? Like
Whoms’t do ye speak of
I’m not even joking but the only way I even know of Chris is from a random fanfic I read where Dick Grayson gets his own super from an alternate reality named Chris, that’s my only point of reference for this character
But let’s talk about how Conner Kent (OG Superboi) was excluded
Now I haven’t seen any episodes of this and I probably never will (no hate I’m just really unmotivated to start new shows at all) so idk if they might mention Conner or even allude to him in one scene or something
But this was my main motivator as to my new Superfam TV Show Idea
Have Lex Luthor not be a Superman villain, he’s mainly a successful businessman, a little shady but who isn’t, and he doesn’t want to Kill Superman, he just wants to be able to have some sort of viable protection against a Kryptonian in case of an invasion (see Man of Steel + CW’s Supergirl) or suddenly having a mind controlled Superman on their hands (see Justice League series or just look up what Red Krytonite does) so he makes it like his side thing to figure out ways to neutralize or hold back a Kryptonian, Clark totally thinks that Lex is obsessed with finding a way to kill Superman because they had a bad end to their friendship in high school so he’s always suspicious of Lex, Lex hasn’t really ever tried to kill him though because 1. It’s not that deep Clark ok? And 2. He’s a busy busy man with a very important job position and a company to run so does he look like he has time to harbor an obsession over someone who rejected him back in high school??? You’re more of a constant side quest Clark, so stop trying to put him on the JL watchlist ( btw ik about Lena Luthor, haven’t forgotten her but she doesn’t really play a part in this AU so let’s just have her and Kara off to the side doing their own thing ok? Ok)
Lex, Bruce & Oliver all knew each other when they were kids and went to the same school, this is just an extra detail I wanted to happen because Lex and Ollie definitely know Bruce is Batman and absolutely HATE having to deal with Brucie Wayne because “I know you’re just doing this to irritate me Bruce, you just want to see if you can make a vein throb in my forehead but I will valiantly ignore your dumbassery because I know you hate being Brucie just as much as we hate having to put up with Brucie so suck on that you petty bitch” because they bonded in ye olden days, childhood friends so to speak
Anyway so Cadmus tries to get Lex to make an investment in their company, seeing as Cadmus is shadier than Gotham when it rains Lex is basically like ‘no ❤️’ and doesn’t make a deal with them, Cadmus gets mad at not having Lexcorp financially backing them so Lex has an ‘accident’ and they steal his DNA, then they steal Superman’s DNA somehow and *boom* a Superboi is formed
Because I don’t know much about how the Core Four became friends in the first place (Robin Tim Drake, Impulse Bart Allen, Wonder Girl Cassie Sandsmark & Superboy Conner Kent) I’m just gonna go with what happens in the show Young Justice except it’s the Core Four becoming the Core Four when they liberated Conner (who at this point believes himself to be a clone of Superman and has only been given Superboy as a name) from Cadmus, same shit goes down meaning that Clark is just straight up NOT vibing with Conner, Conner just wants a mentor please, and the Bats kinda give Clark a passive aggressive treatment for not taking Superboy under his wing or at least agreeing to teach him how to control his powers, especially Tim because that’s his Bestie so yes
Anyway, YJ saves ppl and is on the news or whatever and Lex finds out about Superboy’s existence that way, so he researches this new super on his free time, finds out that he came from Cadmus and claims to be a clone of Superman, yet doesn’t have the whole power set Superman has??? Wait, didn’t Lex reject Cadmus’ proposal and the got into a mysterious accident??? Long story short Lex goes connecting the dots, hacks into Cadmus’ files, finds out he technically has a son with Superman and decides to take Superboy under his wing (I’ll go more in depth as to why Lex would want to do this in this AU later but the abridged version would be that he wants a kid but doesn’t have the time nor interest in finding a wife??? Also the radiation that made him bald as a kid also affected his reproductive system so while it’s not impossible for him to conceive kids he would have a very hard time actually getting to father a kid)
Him and Conner, who still goes by Superboy at this point in time, meet up and Conner finds out that here is a parent figure that is both available and actively wants to be a part of his life, so he agrees to get to know Lex and the series would focus on them becoming a family, with a special episode when Conner asks Lex for help in choosing a name for himself and it ends up with him agreeing to become Conner Luthor, it would be heartwarming and Mercy would make sure it happens within a day (Mercy is Lex’s bodyguard/PA but they’re also besties and she becomes the Responsible yet Chaotic Aunt as Lex and Conner’s father-son relationship progresses)
Obviously Clark becomes super suspicious of Lex getting close to his ‘clone’ and when Conner decides to go public as Lex’s son he’s like *GASP* and calls up Bruce because we need to get on this Bruce, Lex is a villain and blah blah blah but Bruce would be over Clark’s shit and hit him with that “actually, Lex was also an unwilling genetic donor to Superboy, who actually is not your clone either, and has agreed to take him in, I’ve been on this shit since they first met and the kid is doing just fine so if you keep poking your nose in their business then that’s your problem but you better be ready to pay child support bitch . . . have a good day ❤️”
The series would just focus on Conner getting to have a good parent figure in Lex and go more into their civilian lives rather than focusing on the superhero thing, Conner, Bart, Tim & Cassie have a sleepover at Lex’s house at one point, Lex totally Knows what’s up but it’s all good because these are his baby’s friends and they’re good people who are more than willing to prank Superman for rejecting his kid and giving his baby self worth issues (Mercy supports them)
Anyway, that’s basically the idea for a new Superhero Show
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rynnaaurelius · 3 years
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Titan’s Curse But Make It Time Loop: Nico di Angelo Edition
-Okay so I’m at work and not doing much and who wants to actually edit your shit drafts for your actual WIPs so that they’re less bad? No one, that’s who
-So I had an idea: The Titan’s Curse. Also known as the book where people start to die. It sucks to be a demigod in this book--for the first time in the original series, it really does.
-Not everything is fixed, not everyone is saved, and people start to have to make really tough decisions.
-So we fix it. Not by throwing Percy, or Annabeth, or Thalia, or, hell, even Bianca or Grover into the mix.
-Throwing the marginally more grown-up, more trained, and more knowledgeable demigods into the fire, who’d get everyone alive and safe by the third time ‘round? Nah.
-We’re making Nico fix this.
-Because here’s the thing about Nico di Angelo: Sure, he grows up to become a major badass, the Ghost King, so on and so forth. But not yet.
-For now, Nico is baby, a ten-year-old whose experience with any kind of fighting consists of one (1) Capture The Flag game and who’s still half-reliant on Mythomagic to explain what the fuck is happening.
-He’s also got the worst knowledge makeup possible! He knows he’s a son of Hades, which is bad, he knows to stick monsters with the pointy end of swords but nothing else, he knows that Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace are Very Big Deals (But also doesn’t know why beyond parents), and he’s, at best, vaguely aware that there’s some kind of bad prophecy hanging around.
-Also by the end of the book, he’s just been told his last immediate family who isn’t Hades is dead in one of the worst ways possible, and he--pretty irrationally IMO, but Nico’s a kid who has been through a lot recently, so we’re not holding that against him--blames Percy Jackson.
-Literally, you probably can’t pick an angstier or worse choice to run through the time travel trope. I love it.
-We’re making this kid save Bianca’s life via time loop, which happens due to. . .hmm, we’ll say the Fates did it.
-So, Loop 0 = Canon, only at the end of the day on December 21st, after the conversation with Percy, Nico falls asleep only gods know where only to wake up the day he meets Percy Jackson:
Loop 1:
-Nico doesn’t actually change anything meaningful at first.
-Spends most of it shellshocked and not unconvinced the last week (For him, anyway) wasn’t a horrible nightmare; shellshocked and staring at Percy Jackson, anyway.
-(Percy’s wondering what’s up with the silent kid his sister had talked up as a cheerful chatterbox)
-It’s only when Bianca agrees to join the quest for Artemis that he starts kicking up a fuss; demanding to go, screaming that she can’t leave him even more, not again.
-(Bianca hesitates; briefly, enough to remind Nico that she loves him. But she’s not their mother, and she needs this)
-Bianca still dies. Percy comes back pale and guilty. Nico doesn’t yell at him when he returns--he already knows. He accepts the Hades figurine so that he can throw it into the lake.
-He slinks off back into Cabin Eleven and falls asleep, hoping desperately that he gets a third chance.
Loop 2:
-He does.
Loop 3:
-After a very painful death at the hands of Dr. Thorn, Nico, generally being a straightforward person at this stage of life, takes the obvious path this time around: He tries to tell Bianca--who brushes it off as a dream.
-Annabeth still goes over the cliff when Nico takes the initiative of attaching himself and his sister to Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace at the dance. He tries to tell Percy and Thalia when Bianca still joins the Hunt, promising Nico that whatever he saw, she’ll be extra careful.
-(Bianca’s fearful of what Nico's saying, and thinks that if these sworn sisters can’t keep her safe, who can?)
-Artemis gives Nico a speculative look but agrees when he begs her to protect Bianca at all costs.
-He doesn’t get on the quest. Being a reasonable demigod of questionable parentage, he sneaks out of camp.
-He gets caught, because despite being aware of his awesome new powers, he doesn’t know how to use them, and is still a ten-year-old who can barely hold a sword the right way.
-He gives Percy the puppy dog eyes and shows off said awesome new powers. Percy forces him back.
-Nico follows him.
-Repeat until Percy dies saving Nico from the Nemean Lion in Washington, DC.
-Nico can’t find it in himself to be terribly sad--especially when he doesn’t make it much longer.
Loop 4:
-He’s really stuck like this, huh?
-Oh, Di Immortales.
-(Before Percy gets his chest ripped to shreds by a lion and Nico meets skeleton cats, he learned how to hold a sword properly and curse fluently in Greek. Percy probably only meant to teach him one of those things)
-In unrelated news: Having a big crush on a guy who thinks he’s only known you for a couple hours? Terrible.
-Trying to hate the guy who let your sister die when he’s that stupid and nice? Even worse.
-That stupid lion.
Loop 5, 6, 7, 8, 9:
-Nico repeats: That stupid lion.
-Somewhere in Loop 7 he starts to steal supplies out of the camp store when he follows Percy following the quest.
-They forcefeed the lion enough trail mix and frozen ice cream in Loop 9 that they don’t die this time.
-At least until someone called the General shows up and Nico’s dead before he can raise his sword.
Loop 10:
-Nico wakes up in his and Bianca’s room in Westover and starts crying. Bianca tells the headmaster they’re both sick and Nico lets her hold him all day.
-They fall asleep and Nico swears he won’t let her die again.
Loop 11, 12, 13:
-He wakes up and he still can’t get out of bed without feeling that blade cutting between his ribs, burning like it’s on fire.
-Gods, he’s so sorry, Bianca. Dispiace tanto.
Loop 14:
-He can get up without feeling like he’s about to die again. Bianca fusses but assumes it was just a bad dream.
-Nico is caught stealing and can’t follow Percy until it’s too late.
-Everyone assumes this means he’s a son of Hermes, however, and Nico can’t correct them without opening his mouth and letting the sobbing laughter out.
-Figuring he’s about to get another chance next round anyway, he takes Travis and Connor Stoll up on their offer to learn a thing or two so that he doesn’t get Cabin Eleven slapped with kitchen duty from now until Doomsday.
-He likes the Stolls. He spent most of the time, pre-looping, actively avoiding everyone at camp as he waited for Bianca and Percy to come back, but they’re not that bad.
-Percy comes back with the figurine and no sister and Nico remembers why he’s stuck.
Loop 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23:
-After Loop 12 and being killed in Washington DC again, Nico realizes: He needs to learn how to fight.
-Unless he gets killed early or refuses to leave Westover, the loop resets after seven days. So, he has seven days to train each time.
-He gets to camp, finds the arena, and meets Clarisse La Rue. He demands she teach him how to kill monsters.
-She laughs, and tells him that attitude in his size will make monsters easy to kill, they’ll laugh so hard.
-Clarisse teaches him how to swing a sword each time--but only after mocking his unamused face.
-Somehow, Percy coming back with news of Bianca’s death only hurts more each time.
Loop 24:
-Nico wakes up before Bianca this time. He looks over at her bed and knows. He’s got to try this time.
-It’s disturbingly easy making friends with Percy Jackson after the last loops.
-Bessie’s new. Cute, but new.
-Nico wonders just how much he’s missed in the past--he thinks of Annabeth Chase, and hopes she hasn’t been dying each time.
-Percy doesn’t even argue when Nico shows up in the stables with a bag slung over his shoulder, and the sword he’s been stealing out of the shed strapped to his hip.
-Nico suggests the ice cream--again--to Percy in DC before
-Nico might be getting the hang of this.
Loop 25:
-Nico is not getting the hang of this.
-Zoë Nightshade’s refusal to accept Percy and Nico on the quest--violating a prophecy, and gods, Nico’s curious if that prophecy ever mentioned this--has so far gotten them attacked and killed by spartoi once.
-And again. As Nico bleeds out on the floor, he watches a panicked blond man--a demigod--plead for mercy.
-Isn’t he on the other side?
Loop 26:
-His name is Luke Castellan and he apparently wants the gods dead.
-Nico can relate at this point.
-The General is Atlas, and Nico knows enough about Greek mythology, real and wrong, at this point to know that is bad.
Loop 27:
-Twenty-six tries, but they finally make it out of DC. Threatening the questers with Atlas killing them all is more than enough.
-For the first time, Nico doesn’t know what happens next. He glues himself to Bianca’s side and glares at anything suspicious.
-With help that Percy refuses to name, even when Nico tries his hardest, they go to New Mexico.
-There’s a boar and it’s so close, they make it to what the others are calling “the junkyard of the gods”.
-Nico sees the Hades figurine on the ground.
-Bianca grins in delight and picks it up, calling for him.
-He can’t help it.
-Nico starts screaming.
Loop 28:
-His sister’s murderer was never Percy Jackson.
-His sister’s murderer was a force of mechanics that makes Nico fully understand, for the first time, what the gods are, beyond stats on a card.
-Talos.
-Nico is going to destroy him.
Loop 29:
-She dies.
Loop 30:
-Again.
Loop 31:
-Again.
-Loop 32, 33, 34, 3536373839FortyFo r t y O n  e--:
-Again. Again. Again. Again again againagainagainagainAGAIN--
Loop 42:
-Nico gets out of bed. He finds Percy Jackson at the dance, hugs him, and tells him he’s sorry.
-Nico walks outside and waits for Dr. Thorn in the snow. He can feel the shadows curling at the edge of the wood like a sixth sense, now. Waiting for him to summon the restless dead out of them.
-So many attempts to save his sister, ranging from sacrificing himself to sacrificing Percy--not that Percy needs the push, Nico has found--to any and all members of the quest.
-She dies. Always, always dies. Whatever Nico does, that junkyard is full of the death of Bianca di Angelo.
-He tried avoiding it. Once. Loop 33. Nico threw such a fit he’s surprised he wasn’t sent back to Camp Half-Blood by the Hunters, but it kept them out of the junkyard.
-He tries not to remember how little was left of his sister’s body by the monsters that time.
-Son of Hades. After all this time, Nico’s beginning to wonder if this is what it means. Death and death and death.
-Dr. Thorn walks outside, and Nico can feel a ghoulish grin crossing his face that has no place on a ten-year-old.
-One of them is going to die, this loop. And Nico will not go to New Mexico.
Loop 43:
-Nico wonders if there was a past life of his he needs to remember. Who could he have made this angry?
-He lies to Bianca and they stay in Westover again this time. Better than death, anyway.
Loop 44:
-Nico tries a different tack this time. A more roundabout way of things.
-He takes Bianca and throws the two of them in the way of the battle with the manticore.
-After all this time, he still doesn’t know much about Annabeth Chase. She gets kidnapped and returned safely to Percy every time, to the best of his knowledge.
-Nico dies holding up the sky, but at least Bianca lives, under the protection of Artemis.
Loop 45:
-Nico looks in the mirror and studies the new grey streak with fascination. And, maybe, some hope.
-Things can change.
Loop 46, 47, 48, 49, 50:
-Nico gets kidnapped a few times. Once, he’s killed in a rage by a Titan with horns, but it’s quick. Mostly, he holds up the sky to get Artemis out.
-She looks at him strangely each time and Nico wonders if she can see what he’s done.
Loop 51:
-They figure out he’s a son of Hades. They offer him Olympus. Olympus and Bessie--the Ophiotaurus, rather.
-Nico says no.
Loop 52:
-Nico says yes.
Loop 53:
-Being on the verge of overthrowing the gods and keeping everyone he’s grown to care for--in the case of several Hunters, against his will; in Percy Jackson’s case, Nico loves him as much as he hates him at this point--doesn’t do much, apparently.
-Nico stays in Westover again. He resists the urge to tell Bianca that would-be destroyers of Olympus don’t need to brush their hair, whatever she says.
Loop 54:
-Nico goes over the edge of the cliff again, but with Percy Jackson.
-This isn’t the first time; in Loop 46, Percy had taken the sky for both the sake of Artemis and Nico until it killed him.
-What’s different, is Nico’s in the middle of what’s become the usual panic attack when he’s about to die for the hundredth time, and his powers react.
-Percy holds him close and calls him cousin. Tells him he’ll never leave Nico.
-You have no idea, Nico whispers. You can’t leave me.
-You think I want to? Percy whispers back. You’re not alone, Nico.
-Nico’s sobbing sounds like laughter.
Loop 55:
-Nico tells Percy the truth for the third time. This is the first time he hasn’t told Bianca first.
-They’ve just found the Erymanthian Boar, Thalia’s told Nico his goth needs work--whatever that means--and Nico’s bracing himself for the junkyard again.
-Getting kidnapped by the Titans really gets old after a while.
-He still has the grey streak, and no number of excuses will fully soothe his sister, but the Hunt’s a good distraction from it.
-Nico doesn’t blame Bianca anymore for it. He thinks.
-Nearly a year into this loop and Nico’s finding it hard to blame anyone for much of anything, anymore. Especially when he sees what she’s faced. Again. And again.
-For now, this time, Percy Jackson is staring at Nico with wide eyes at what Nico’s told him--through these loops, Nico’s starting to wonder if he now knows more about Percy than Percy’s own best friends--and says he believes him.
-Once, Nico would’ve exploded from joy. Now, he just sighs and nods.
-Percy tells him how to condense the conversation for the next loop. He advises Nico to research Talos, “like Annabeth would.”
-He advises Nico to warn Percy’s next loop self about Annabeth’s kidnapping. Nico wonders if he’s gone insane that he’s considering it.
-Bianca dies.
Loop 56:
-Nico makes the executive decision this time to try and befriend Annabeth Chase. As such, he takes Percy’s advice.
Loop 57:
-It takes him two tries to befriend Annabeth Chase and learn about Talos.
Loop 58:
-Three times.
-But the nail. The nail in the ankle of Talos.
Loop 59:
-He hangs back at camp again this time and meets Charles Beckendorf, head of Cabin Nine, and son of Hephaestus.
-Nico figures that short of finding the god himself and committing temporary suicide--not that it hasn’t crossed Nico’s mind--his son will have to do.
-(He’s tried his hand at summoning ghosts, but Daedalus refuses to show, for some reason)
-Beckendorf frowns and tells Nico he would have to see Talos himself.
-Nico hadn’t realized just how much cursing he had picked up off of Percy and Thalia until that moment.
Loop 60:
-Nico knows what the prophecy says. One shall be lost in the land without rain.
-He knows it’s why he’s been failing so much.
-The trouble is, he no longer cares.
Loop 61:
-It took him a try, but he gets Beckendorf on the quest, prepared to defeat the Talos prototype.
Loop 62:
-Strike that, two tries.
-Nico really hates the Nemean Lion.
Loop 63, 64:
-Nico has solved half a problem: How to defeat Talos without putting someone inside the robot.
-The other half of the problem is now that they are all electrocuted by a dying automaton for their efforts.
Loop 65:
-Beckendorf’s crush--girlfriend? crush, they’re both insisting--Silena Beauregard comes along this time. Nico won’t complain over the extra manpower, even if he’s positive that eight campers and Hunters are patent overkill for one quest.
-Silena pulls Bianca out of the wreckage. Nico’s heart stops.
-Silena’s crying when she mentions that if they had been a bit earlier, she could have been revived.
-Nico wonders if Thalia’s going to stab him as he starts whooping. And takes notes about where Talos falls.
Loop 66:
-Nico swears, if Percy Jackson tries to sacrifice himself for Annabeth Chase one more time--
Loop 67:
-Bianca.
-I found you, he sobs. I found you.
-Gods damn the Hoover Dam.
Loop 68:
-And again.
-Despite having the distinct inkling at this point that he doesn’t much like like girls, Nico could kiss Silena Beauregard and Thalia Grace when they manage to revive his sister each time.
-She’s shaky and leaning on him and was dead, he could see her soul floating away--
-But she’s there.
-Nico refuses to let his sister out of the sight at the Hoover Dam and Percy befriends the Naiads this time.
-At least, until the Titans--who Nico made the very big mistake of taunting at DC--sends monsters he can’t control.
Loop 69, 70, 71, 72, 73:
-They keep dying in various combinations at the Hoover Dam now that Nico’s figured out how to save Bianca.
-At least, until he gets separated from Percy in Loop 73 and he meets a redheaded girl with a penchant for calling Nico pint-size.
-Athena dislikes Percy, Nico, Bianca, and Thalia in equal measure. Having learned of the Great Prophecy in Loop 16 and Percy’s mooning over Annabeth in. . .well, every loop, Nico can’t quite blame her.
Loop 74:
-Her name is Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Nico likes her. She takes none of their shit and if it weren’t for the fact that they already have eight people on the quest, he’d want to take her along.
-Bianca gets in a fight with the Old Man of the Sea. Thalia electrocutes him when he throws Bianca in the bay.
Loop 75:
-Nico wakes up in Westover with the distinct feeling that he was drowned on dry land.
-He stays in bed shivering, that day.
Loop 76:
-Atlas is the father of Zoë Nightshade. Nico learned this around Loop 50. He had realized around five loops ago that this probably meant she was going to die “by a parent’s hand.”
-He hadn’t realized that it was going to hurt to watch.
Loop 77, 78, 79, 80, 81:
-Now that he’s figured things out to about San Francisco, it seems the world is out to get him. The number of fights or mistakes that he either makes himself or has to head off are ridiculous.
Loop 82:
-Nico is so very tired. And wishes he felt ten years old again.
Loop 83:
-If Thalia gets in one more fight with Nereus, Nico's going to walk into the sea.
Loop 84:
-He wanders off, in this one. Grover had been killed in Hoover Dam, so Nico’s waiting for the reset at this point.
-In the meantime, Nico figures there are worse things to do than enjoy a good afternoon in San Francisco. He even meets a boy in a purple shirt.
-His name is Jason and he has hair like the sun.
-If he ever fixes this, Nico wants to find him.
Loop 85:
-Nico’s not fast enough in the junkyard.
-In San Francisco, he tries to find the ugliest, biggest trouble he can find.
-He finds a pair of teenagers in armor who yell Latin at him instead.
Loop 86:
-There’s a dragon that will attack them in the Garden of the Hesperides if they make it angry enough and Nico is so tired.
Loop 87:
- Zoë Nightshade is dead. They’ve won.
-Funny definition of “win”, considering they’ve all almost died this loop about a dozen times each, and Nico can’t explain why he’s crying on the body of a Hunter he only met a week ago, in their eyes.
-She hates him, some loops. More loops, she looks at him with ghosts of old grief in her eyes and hands him a knife.
-The gods execute Bessie, and then, Nico watches as his father turns to him and Bianca with sorrowful eyes.
-Nico should’ve figured, after almost ninety loops.
Loop 88:
-Luke offers one of them the entrails of Bessie again.
-Nico takes them.
Loop 89:
-For all the good it does. Nico wakes up as he does every time now: Powerless, in bed, and with only a grey streak to show for his efforts.
Loop 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98:
-Nico doesn’t know how to save Zoë Nightshade. Bianca, he could trick and fight his way into it. Beckendorf and Silena and Percy and a loophole in lost could save his sister.
-Her, she just. . .dies. Sometimes in DC, sometimes in San Francisco, sometimes on the hills of Mt. Tamalpais. Always at the hands of Atlas.
-Always, being murdered by her father.
-It’s not as gutting as watching his sister die, but it aches more in his chest, somehow.
Loop 99:
-He sticks close to Zoë this time. Same as he’s done with Percy, Annabeth, his sister, Thalia, and Grover, time and time again. But not her, Nico is realizing. Not the clinging he’s achieving now.
-Hoping for. . .something.
-He knows better than to tell the immortal Lieutenant of Artemis the whole truth. The loneliness is enough.
-She’s less frosty to him from the start than to, say, Grover or Percy, after Annabeth goes over the cliff again. When he shows up in DC, she’s much less angry than he’s seen her.
-Along the way to New Mexico and then San Francisco, he listens. He’s grown better at it, this far in. When the others are asleep, when Bianca is being fussed over after Talos, when everyone but them is asleep by the fire, he listens.
-And she tells him about her sisters. About her father, when the world was young and Atlas had looked on every daughter of his with pride. She tells him, pride glistening in her eyes, of the battles she has seen, the hunts she has overseen at the command of a goddess, the monsters she has killed, and the epithets she has been given.
-He doesn’t ask anything of her. Not until they’re in the house of Annabeth’s father, drinking lemonade the night before the battle, and Nico knows she is about to die again.
-What do you want, he asks. You’ve done everything. What’s left?
-She stopped, ice seems to creep over her again, and Nico wondered if he’d hit some sore spot.
-He’s opened his mouth to make his apologies when she answers, so quiet and quick he thinks he’s imagined it.
-To be remembered. When my lady has taken another lieutenant, as she must, and I have gone to where all gods go when they die, I wish for my memory to remain. And. . .
-Nico waits, and ignores the sudden, terrifying thought that he no longer knows what he wants.
-I wish to see the stars again. I was born a nymph of the sunset; starlight is precious to me. I want to see it again.
-Nico dies to preserve the memory of Zoë Nightshade.
100:
-Nico di Angelo wakes up in Westover Hall. He hopes for the last time.
-He does everything right: Annabeth goes over the cliff, his sister joins the Hunt, Percy is soon his friend, and he convinces Silena and Beckendorf to join the quest.
-The Nemean Lion never stands a chance, and Nico is glad to be rid of it.
-His sister lives.
-Nico watches Percy watch Rachel Elizabeth Dare go, looking like he’s just taken a frying pan to the face, and fights the urge to snicker.
-Thalia doesn’t start a fight with Nereus, but Percy certainly does. Nico could’ve sworn he saw the boy with sun-hair again, watching with curiosity.
- Zoë Nightshade dies in the arms of Artemis and is made into the stars she loves so dearly. Nico promises her soul that he will remember.
-For, he has found, the dead have a tendency of remembering things they shouldn’t.
-Annabeth and Percy now have grey streaks to match Nico’s, and Nico can’t wait to spend the rest of his life trying to explain that.
-It’s closer than he would like, but much less close than other lives with Olympus. The Ophiotaurus is alive and safe, and they are all alive.
-As Nico walks out of the council, he looks off to the side. By the fire is the familiar girl with red eyes--the Lady Hestia, looking much closer to Nico’s age than that of the Olympian she is.
-Besides her are three old ladies. Nico’s heard about them from Percy, in Loops 26, 53, 61, and 62.
-One lady holds a ball of string that is the color of a warm umber. The other is knitting what looked suspicious like socks. The last. . .
-Scissors, in one hand. Just as expected. Nico swallowed.
-In the other, was a knot of burnt string, tied to the socks. Behind her, Nico could see discarded string of all colors: an electric blue, a stormy grey, a black that seems to glisten with the promise of a storm, string the soft, hopeful pink of love, yarn run through with bright copper.
-Glowing threads that Nico could only describe as the color of starlight.
-As he walked out, firmly between Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace, the Hunt of Artemis behind him, Nico hears one last promise:
It is done, Nico di Angelo.
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