hold my hand.
Summary: when your hidden talent comes out, more things start to unravel. (terrible summary but i couldn't come up with something better lol - just read it)
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: fluff, idiots in love, lots of pining, and teasing
A/N: this was an old request based on the song 'hold my hand' by lady gaga. this is one of the rare times where i write something completely fluffy. so, i hope you enjoy it!
A/N 2: ok, if you liked it, please reblog the post and let me know what you think! ever since i started posting again on this new blog, i keep uploading every day new/old stuff! however, sometimes it feels kind of disheartening when i check the like/reblog ratio since it's huuuuge. i don't want to come across as ungrateful because i do appreciate every single like that i get, but a reblog would be nice sometimes. i apologize for having to highlight it in every single a/n of my work, but lately the engagement has been going down the drain. anyway, regardless, i hope you enjoy this one. happy reading!
"It's been such a long time since we actually got to have a little get-together. All of us. To just have fun." Natasha said while you kept munching on your cereal.
She's been pestering you for the past twenty minutes about organizing a nice evening, a get together with everyone at the compound.
Although Natasha's point was fair since you couldn't even remember the last time everyone was gathered in the same room apart from mission briefings, you also kind of hated the idea of being in the same room with alcohol along with a specific someone.
"Good morning." Speak of the devil.
"Good morning, Buck." Natasha greeted him and then threw you a glance that you knew what she meant.
"Good morning." You muttered and looked down at your soggy corn flakes.
Bucky poured himself a cup of coffee and you quickly looked away when your eyes met as he was taking his first sip of coffee.
Natasha, being the Russian spy you all loved - and sometimes hated at the same time for her skill - noticed the brief, awkward interaction.
"Buck, as I was saying to Y/N as well, I think he should have a 'family' get-together. Well... judging from all of us singularly, I don't think it'd be family friendly, but still we need to do a get together. It's been so long." Natasha explained as Bucky kept listening to her. His face was neutral and you wanted to curse him for keeping any feelings shielded.
"Sure." He hummed casually.
"It'd be a great opportunity for some relaxing and fun times." Natasha looked between the both of you as you and Bucky shifted uncomfortably under her stare. "Whatever 'fun' means to you." She smirked and Bucky almost choked on his coffee.
"Natasha..." You muttered under your breath but she waved you off.
"We will definitely party. That's for sure." Natasha smiled.
"Did I hear 'party'?" Tony popped his head into the kitchen, a cup of coffee already in his hand. Probably his second this morning. This man never sleeps.
"Stark," Natasha approached him resting her arm on his shoulder, "I have an idea."
She proceeded explaining to him what she had been telling you earlier and of course, Tony being a party animal and always down for a good time - whatever that entailed - he was immediately sold.
You took a glance at Bucky who gave you a small smile. You gave him one in return.
This get-together would be a hard one.
It was finally Friday. The day of your get together - as Natasha kept calling it.
Throughout the week, Natasha would be talking to you about it. She and Wanda had been nagging you about all the details they wanted to plan for this night. They were really excited about it and you didn't want to disappoint them by showing your sour mood.
Practically everyone was talking about it.
During breakfast, Wanda would tell you about what she was planning on wearing. She was cooking pancakes and she got lost describing a dress she'd seen on the store, when smoke started rising from the pan.
"Wanda, the pancakes!" You yelped eyes wide as Wanda nervously flicked her wrist, a fire extinguisher flying in the air.
"Oops." Wanda smiled nervously at you.
During your workout, while you and Steve were sparring, as you lay on the mat breathing heavy from having your ass handed to you by Steve, he started talking about it as well.
"I think it's a nice idea. I haven't seen all of us gathered since Tony’s charity gala." The super soldier kept talking as he had you pinned under the mat with his arm. "What do you think I should wear?" You rolled your eyes. "I mean, it's a special occasion, right?"
That moment, as Steve was engrossed in this thought, you found the opportunity to hook your foot under his and by grabbing his arm to tackle him and pin him on the mat.
"I think you should focus more, captain." His surprised expression made you smirk.
Then, there were even talks about it during the mission. You were hooking yourself up with the parachute. The plane was already approaching the location you should be landing.
"I wonder what Natasha has planned. She's been keeping it hush all week. She kinda got me excited." Sam chuckled as he strapped his boots.
"Excited about the party or... about her?" You cocked an eyebrow as you checked your vest once more.
"A bit of both." He said smoothly and you chuckled. "Aren't you excited?"
"About the party or Natasha?"
Sam shook his head, "About the party." He stood up from the bench flexing his arm to check his gear. "Maybe someone else." He muttered the last part and you tensed, trying not to show it.
"Right now," you looked at him as you strapped the knife on your thigh, "I'm more excited about catching some bastards in the act."
Sam laughed. "Ok, then." He walked towards the door of the plane, opening it. "After you, my lady." He gestured towards the empty space of the sky.
You walked towards it. "Such a gentleman." You smirked before taking your position. "See you on the ground, birdie."
And then, you fell.
Even during the meeting after the mission where everyone was gathered, Thor, was asking about this ‘party’.
“What should I be in for this party?” The God of Thunder asked.
“Your best behavior.” Tony replied as he walked into the room. “No asgardian liquor.”
Sam and Clint perked up at that. “Not even a little?” Sam asked.
“Sam.” Natasha warned, but she gave him a wink which didn’t get unnoticed by Bruce who was looking at them scandalized. Probably having war flashbacks from the last time Asgardian liquor was passed around in a party.
“So, what does this ‘best behavior’ entail, Stark?” Thor leaned further on his chair.
“Ask the 40s gentlemen over there.” Tony pointed to where Steve and Bucky were sitting, already annoyed at Tony’s comment. “Years of knowledge being hidden in them. You should take notes.” He smirked.
“Very funny, Tony.” Steve scoffed.
“You’re wasting your talent.” Bucky sneered.
You laughed quietly in your seat as you had your arms crossed, enjoying their interaction.
“Y/N is that you?” Tony looked over to you. “I didn’t notice since, you know, you’ve been quite disappearing the past week.” Your cheeks were heating up as you adjusted in your seat, sitting straight now. “I’m surprised you even turned up to this.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m going to agree with the soldiers here. You’re very funny. You’re wasting your talent here.” You sneered.
“I’m sure you’d agree.” Tony muttered.
“Don’t mind him, Y/N. He’s in a mood again.” Bucky said as he kept glaring Tony.
“How noble.” Tony mumbled. “As much as I love to see you two pining, let’s get back to the briefing.” He stood up from his chair as he turned on his computer, leaving you tensed and uncomfortable.
What was that supposed to mean?
You were staring yourself in the mirror, smoothing down the creases on the dress that Wanda insisted you put on.
You sighed looking yourself in the mirror. You were more nervous and stressed for tonight that you ever were for a mission. Which is kind of ironic considering this night was about having fun and relaxing, taking a break from the gruesome reality of being an Avenger.
But your mind couldn't relax when you were thinking about him.
Bucky Barnes. The man who you've been crushing on for pretty much ever since you joined the team. The way he had smiled at you the very first time made your heart flutter. You were never the romantic kind of person and never really believed in love at first sight, until you met Bucky.
Yes, it was cliché. And of course, you tried to shake yourself out of it. You tended to exaggerate your feelings when someone was a tad friendlier with you and boy was Bucky friendly.
From the very first moment, he made sure you felt comfortable in the team. Having been an outcast himself and struggling to fit in the first time he joined the Avengers, he understood the pressure. So, whatever you needed he was there for you. From being your personal trainer, to your tour guide around the house, to your partner in your first mission, Bucky was there besides you.
You spent so much time together that everyone in the team was at the point of teasing you two for secretly dating. You both had brushed it off, continuing being the best of friends, until one day when Natasha and Tony made another innuendo about you two making out in the back of the quinjet after a mission, Bucky reacted. 'Can you just stop already? Y/N and I are just friends. Nothing more. It'll never be like that. Right, Y/N?' He had looked at you and you agreed, playing along although his words, the way he said that you will never be more than friends had made your heart sink. It didn't help with the massive crush you had been harboring. So, you just nodded along and said 'yeah, don't make it awkward guys' giving them a lazy grin as Bucky did the same. Trying to hide the disappointment as much as you could.
Ever since that day, the drift between you and Bucky started. At first, you tried to avoid him, wanting a bit more time to yourself to get over a crush that wouldn't lead anywhere. Then, you started noticing Bucky avoiding you as well. Whenever you suggested doing something, he would be busy saying that he would make it up to you. Then, after days of radio silence, when he would propose something, you'd make an excuse to avoid him, either out of spite or since your crush wasn't going away. On the contrary, it was getting bigger. Suffice to say, neither of you put any effort in your friendship anymore.
That however, didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the team. You practically went from being attached to the hip, to not even be able to be in the same room anymore. Whenever Nat or Wanda would question you about it you just shrugged it off, 'we're just busy that's all'. Even Tony had showed concern as you were his favorite people to tease about. 'How come Barnes isn't with you, Y/N? I thought you had him on a leash.' Tony had once commented to which you rolled your eyes not even bothering to reply. Sam had made a comment as well. 'Didn't recognize you there without the grumpy old man by your side.'
It was painfully obvious that everyone knew that there was something going on between you and Bucky. However, you didn't even know what had happened. You just stopped hanging out one day. And it hurt you more than you cared to admit.
You checked yourself one more time in the mirror, taking a deep breath.
"You got this, Y/N. You've had many days with no interaction with him. You can get through this." You sighed.
You got this, right?
You didn't get this.
Natasha was planning this night all along and since you didn't really care about this party, you didn't think to ask her what she had in store. Maybe if you had made the effort, you'd be prepared of what was in front of you.
What. the. actual. hell.
"I can't wait!" Wanda said excitedly while you gulped.
The thought of you actually being in front of everyone, singing, made you sweat. It wasn't that you didn't like singing. You absolutely loved it. But only when you were alone in the comfort of your shower. You'd turn on the music and while the heat of the water engulfed you, you let yourself sing at the top of your lungs, making sure the soundproof option in your room was on. You'd die of embarrassment if anyone heard you.
Your eyes instinctively fell on Bucky. He was sharing the same feelings as you being also the quiet type. He was an introvert, hating the attention. He was barely able to strike a conversation with a stranger, and only did that if absolutely necessary. Bucky only let his true personality show, when he felt comfortable around people he knew. Once he opened up, he was really fun to be around, which apparently not many people knew, since he didn't let people in very easily. And that's what had made you fall in love with him.
At the thought of being in love with Bucky, your cheeks started heating up. Bucky was also staring at you with his big, blue eyes of his, making you quickly shift your gaze to Natasha where she was explaining how things would work.
"One by one, we'll pick a song and perform it on stage. That's pretty much it, Tony." She said as she was pouring drinks in red, paper cups along with Clint.
Wanda handed you a cup and you thanked her, taking a small sip. The alcohol almost burning your throat. You looked around the room. It was previously empty, since Tony was still indecisive of what he wanted to do with it. The compound had a lot of different rooms; from gyms, to playrooms that consisted of pool tables to huge TV screens for video games, to cinemas and indoor pools, the compound was a true dream. And now this empty room in a span of a few days had turned into a well equipped karaoke studio. Natasha did have her way over things.
"What about turns? Who's going to be first and so on?" Sam asked as he took a sip of his drink.
You gulped the rest of yours in a desperate attempt to calm yourself.
"Yeah, we don't want anyone complaining." Steve added.
You approached the table where Clint was pouring drinks and held your cup to him. "Pour me one more." Clint looked at you with a raised eyebrow. You smiled at him before adding, "Please."
"You sure?" He asked you as he took your cup ready to fill it. You just nodded. "Alright. But take it easy." He warned you sternly which wasn't out of the ordinary since Clint - along with Natasha - tended to look out for you more, being the ones that had found you, and being the youngest in the group, they made sure to take care of you like a little sister. Or as you said sometimes when you got irritated by their overprotective nature, they tended to baby you.
Bucky was looking at your direction with a feeling that you couldn't quite grasp, but you avoided his stare, focusing back on the conversation ensuing as you took another sip of your drink.
"Let's go with ages." Wanda suggested.
"Younger or older first?" Bucky asked and it was the first time he spoke which surprised you, listening to his voice. You rarely got to hear it nowadays from the lack of talking. He seldom spoke in public with other people anyway, so when you had the privilege of being best friends with him, you loved the way his voice sounded. You almost thanked Natasha for karaoke night since you'd get to listen to Bucky not just talk, but actually sing.
"Younger first. I don't really want to start this night with Thor's loud voice." Tony chuckled.
"What's wrong with my voice?" Thor's voice boomed in the room.
You giggled as you took another sip. You were getting quite dizzy which was weird since you hadn't drink that much, but you dismissed thinking it was your nerves.
"Nothing's wrong. It's that it gets our blood chill." Sam commented which earned laughs from everyone.
You laughed as well.
"So that means that Y/N is first." Wanda smirked as everyone turned to look at you. You had stopped the cup mid-air, looking scared at everyone around you.
"Now," Tony came towards you, putting his hands on your shoulders, "go and make daddy proud."
Everyone groaned at the use of that word.
"Come on, Tony, it's gross." Natasha groaned.
Tony chuckled. "Fine." He threw his hands up in surrender. "Go make uncle Tony proud."
"You don't make it any better man." Sam snickered.
You were being shooed towards the stage. Natasha showed you how to pick your own song and you barely listened to her over your own heart beating.
She gave you a thumbs-up before joining the others, ready to listen to your singing.
You gulped as the first notes of the song started playing.
Bucky's eyes were glued to you. As soon as you appeared in front of everybody, anxious and scared, his eyes didn't dare look another way.
But everything disappeared when you opened your mouth and the first words came out.
Your voice, smoother than silk, engulfed him in the most pleasant way. Bucky felt like an angel was singing to him, calling him from the heavens above.
"Didn't know she had such a good voice." Sam mumbled from behind him.
"Did you know, Buck?" Steve asked in a hushed tone.
Bucky was mesmerized. He softly shook his head 'no', not taking his eyes from you.
But the best thing, what made his heart beat faster, what made him feel like he was in a dream, was that you were looking at him. Your eyes stared right back at him as you sang every word of the song that he'd never heard before, but the words held a deeper meaning.
Raise your head, look into my wishful eyes
His eyes were searching yours, trying to find the answer that was afraid to ask for, for such a long time.
That fear that's inside you will lift, give it time
Scared of rejection, scared of heartbreak, scared of losing you and what you two had. Because he was reckless falling for you when you just wanted his friendship. So, he gave you that. A friend. Even if it hurt so bad every time he was around you to just act like a friend and never cross that thin line.
I can see everything you're blind to now
He could see that now. Bucky could really see that avoiding you, trying to bury everything inside of him, out of fear, was only making things harder. In his desperate attempt to suppress and erase those feelings, he pushed you away.
Your prayers will be answered, let God whisper how
He prayed every night, that things would go back to how they used to be, but he was afraid of taking the first step. Thinking you didn't want to disappoint him by turning him down in the end.
To tell me you need me, I see that you're bleeding
You kept singing to him as though you wanted him to know, to feel, every word you were angelically singing to him. Bucky needed you. Ever since he found you, he was always by your side. He couldn't get enough of your presence. Sometimes, he wondered how he lived his life before you came in and showed him true happiness.
You don't need to show me again
Bucky needed to let you know how much you meant to him.
But if you decide to, I'll ride in this life with you
He needed to take the risk if he wanted to spend his life with you by his side. Even if it was just friends.
I won't let go 'til the end
He wouldn't leave you. He couldn't.
Promise you'll just hold my hand
Bucky wanted nothing more than to hold your hand, kiss your lips and hug you whenever he wanted to.
I'll be right here, hold my hand
Bucky couldn't ignore the way you were singing to him. He was sure that you wanted him to listen to every word. It felt like you were almost begging him to understand. Your eyes were hopeful as they never left his, throughout the whole performance. It felt like an angel praying for her wish to come true.
As the final notes of the song started to fade out, Bucky stood from his seat. Everyone started clapping and whistling for you, as you tightly screwed your eyes close, your cheeks heating up, Bucky was sure about it.
He started walking towards you, ignoring the weird glances everyone was giving him. He was only focused on you.
Bucky didn't even realize but he was standing right in front of you. You lifted your gaze to meet his, startled for a second of his presence in front of you.
"Buck-" you started but Bucky caught you off.
Instantly, his lips were on yours as his palm was cupping the side of your face. Bucky felt you tensing for a few seconds, surprised by the movement, but you immediately relaxed, kissing him back with as much built-up tension and passion as him.
When you broke apart, he looked at you, as he whispered, "I'll hold your hand, Y/N. If you’ll have me, I'll hold your hand and never let it go."
You reached his hand, squeezing it lightly. "It's yours." You whispered.
Bucky smiled widely, as he leaned in to kiss you one more time, his fingers laced with yours. He never wanted to let go of your hand.
As you broke apart one more time, Bucky and you, turned slightly to look over to where everyone was watching you two the whole time.
"I guess we gave them a good show." Bucky muttered.
You giggled. Oh, how he missed that sound. "Let's own it then and bow to our audience."
Bucky chuckled shaking his head, but you both took a dip forward.
The whole room erupted in claps and whistles and Bucky laughed alongside you.
When everyone had sobered up and you moved away from the stage, Bucky was still holding your hand as you both sported the biggest smiles.
"So, did it take Natasha to plan a karaoke week and me paying for all the equipment, to finally you two stop being heart-eyes idiots and finally get together?" Tony raised an eyebrow.
“Oh come on, Tony,” Natasha teased, “love makes you stupid. That’s like a well-known fact.”
“I agree with Nat.” Steve pointed to the redhead who winked at him and Steve almost blushed making Tony roll his eyes, “I remember back in the day when I had a crush on-”
“Oh no, no, no. Not another story from a hundred years ago.” Tony shook his head.
“It’s not even a hundred years ago! It’s seventy years ago.” Steve argued.
“Ok, kids.” Clint interjected. “We’re missing the point which is Bucky and Y/N finally stop pining over each other and getting together.” Clint looked at your joined hands. “Do I have to give you ‘the talk’?”
“Come on, Clint...” You groaned.
“I’m older than you, Barton.” Bucky chuckled.
“Ok, guys, the point here apart from the inevitable love fest, is that Y/N is a fantastic singer!” Wanda exclaimed and you blushed as you leaned further into Bucky. He wrapped his arm around you, holding you tight.
“Let’s not ignore the fact that you actually stood in front of an audience while singing.” Natasha added.
“The asgardian liquor works wonders. Even stage fright.” Thor smirked.
Everyone looked at him with narrowed eyes as Thor smiled sheepishly.
“I think I told you, no asgardian liquor.” Tony sneered.
“Well, yeah, but it helped after all.” Thor pointed his finger at you.
You shrugged. “I guess it did.”
“You’re welcome, Y/N.” Thor said sarcastically and you giggled.
“Can we just pick up from where we left?” Sam said. “I want to try my luck the same way Y/N did here.” He smirked.
“Woo us away, Wilson.” Natasha winked and Sam’s smile grew wider.
The rest of the night, was spent with more songs, drinking, and bantering. The usual stuff.
Bucky and you were cooped up in the corner. “Do you think we’re idiots?” Bucky asked as he twirled a strand from your hair. You were sitting in his lap and Bucky couldn’t believe that this was his reality.
“Yeah.” You said casually and then shifted a bit to look at him. “But like Natasha said, love makes you an idiot.”
Bucky chuckled. “Then, I guess I’m your idiot.”
You smirked. “And I’m your idiot.”
You both giggled.
You leaned in and kissed him, almost knocking his breath out of him. Bucky could never get used to the way your lips tasted. He could kiss them all the time.
“Each other’s idiots.” You breathed in the kiss.
“I like that.” Bucky whispered as he connected your lips once more.
Who knew karaoke night would be so much fun?
hurt 👏🏼 comfort 👏🏼 during 👏🏼 a mission 👏🏼with bucky 👏🏼👏🏼
a/n: did you mean: my DREAM
come alive | bucky barnes
"Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay," Bucky pleaded, and you tried to tell him that yes, you were okay, but all that came out was a heavy wheeze as your eyes fluttered open.
The sun burned your eyes and you had a panicked thought - you had no clue how long you had been out; it couldn't have been that long, Bucky would have gotten you to the med bay in the quinjet the second it touched down if it were there, so you guessed it had only been a few minutes.
Still long enough to make you feel like you had died and come alive again.
"I'm okay," you finally managed to breath out, and Bucky's hand immediately came to your face, brushing dirt from your cheek and surely smearing blood on his hand.
"Thought I lost you," his voice was choked, barely audible.
"Can't get rid of me that easy, Buck." You grinned, and he didn't even care about that blood in your teeth as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.
"No I certainly cannot."
Willing to Sacrifice -Part 1-
Pairings: Steve Rogers x F!Reader, Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Summary: There's always a consequence when it comes to remembering the past.
Word Count: 2.8k+
Warnings: Language, graphic descriptions of blood and other things relating to murder (it’s kind of intense) so TW, ANGST, a lil bit of fluff but not much, mentions of torture
A/N: So, here we are. I’m not sure where this is going but I know it’s gonna be a good ride. Thanks to @neonovember for making me wanna do this, your fucking awesome. Love all of you amazing supporters. I hope y’all enjoy. Also, Sweetheart of all my dreams is a song from the 40s and I love it.
It smelt like death.
Being someone from the streets you’d know that scent anywhere. A rotten stench so strong that it left a taste on your tongue, forcing your stomach to clench and your hands to tremble.
Fear filled your bones as you treaded lightly through your bedroom.
You’d only ever been around it when there was someone dying on the street or maybe even a dead animal, but never ever was it this strong and this potent.
And never in hell had it been in your house.
Swallowing thickly you placed down the bag of change you’d managed to steal. “Boys!?” You called, confused when you didn’t see their little faces come running toward you.
“Boys, did you try to cook again?!” You wanted to stay light-hearted, wanted to keep your mood stable. Maybe the things your brain was telling you weren’t true. Maybe there was indeed a dead animal or burnt dinner, but that nagging part of you kept repeating the same thing over and over again, we know that smell.
Fighting off tears you opened the door, catching sight of the dark hallway as you did so. At first you felt relief, everything was peaceful, everything was okay, that was until you stepped out onto the hardwood.
The noise was what caught your attention first, it sounded like mud beneath your shoe. Thick and heavy. But it hadn’t rained today, and so it didn’t make sense.
“Did you guys go outside? What have I told you about that?” There was still no answer. You took another step forward, the squish squish sounds making you nauseous. You needed to know what this was, needed to know why your heart was pounding so hard in your chest, and why your tongue felt like it was covered in iron.
Placing your hand on the wall, you let it slide down until it reached the light switch. “What the hell?” You said, feeling a liquid texture all across your fingers.
You jerked them back, wiping them down your jacket. “What did y’all do today?” Shaking your head, you fought off the urge to throw up and quickly flicked the light switch. What was once a pitch-black room soon turned to red.
It was all red.
The walls, the ceilings, the floors, even your fucking hands.
“No.” You whispered and without a second thought you took off racing down the rest of the hallway. “No, no, no. BOYS?!” You yelled, coming to a heavy stop when you saw them.
One. Two. Three. Dead. Dead. Dying.
“Oh my god.” Your voice cracked and you dropped down to your knees, feeling the blood as it seeped through your pants and stained your skin. You didn’t want to touch anything, didn’t want to feel their life against your own. But you couldn’t just leave them.
“Baby?” You asked, letting your shaky hands fall down to one of their faces. “Owen?” His eyes were wide open, the little boy's face stained with tear tracks. “Hey! Owen?!” You patted his face, your hands roaming down his body to assess his wounds. But when they reached his chest you completely froze. It was ripped open, his orange striped shirt you’d made him stained bright red. You’d even managed to sew his favorite cartoon character on there, and someone had drawn red x’s on its eyes like a sicko.
“Oh god.” You whispered, bile heavy in your throat. He was only nine years old.
“Packston.” You whispered, jumping up and feeling your other brother's body move as you shoved yourself in between them. It was sickening.
“Packers?” His eyes were closed, his neck slit. There was no way he was alive, but you went ahead and checked anyway. Hands made their way to his torso, feeling the knife marks along his stomach. He was only eight years old.
Closing your eyes, you lowered your head, trying to keep it together. It was hard though when you felt the stickiness of their insides all over your body and knew, just knew, that when you looked down you were going to look like a walking crayon. Afraid to try to speak, you forced yourself to your feet and over to the last one left. He was eleven, and he was the sweetest boy you’d ever had the privilege of raising.
His eyes were open, and you didn’t want to look into them anymore. You didn’t want to sit there and stare into lifeless eyes, ones that you had seen filled with such happiness that it made it hard to breathe.
Bringing a shaking hand toward his forehead, you placed it against his eyelashes, trying not to scream when the blood on your hands mixed with the blood on his face.
The name came out broken and it sounded as if it was said with a mouth full of water, but despite all that it was a voice that you would still know anywhere. A voice that you had gone to the ends of the Earth for.
“Hey bubba, hey.” You said, forcing a smile on your face. Without thinking you shrugged off your jacket, bundling it against what looked like a stab to the chest.
“They-” He couldn’t get out another word before tears fell down his face, his body beginning to shake. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’m here now. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”
That’s what you’d said last time too.
Shaking your head you looked down at your kid, seeing his head start to roll towards your other brothers. “No, hey, over here. Look over here.” You gently grabbed his cheek, forcing his eyes to look into yours. When you caught sight of the baby blues, you began to see the light escape them. He was dying right beneath your touch, right in front of you. And what were you doing, you were staying there like a sitting duck.
Trying to make a decision you looked around the room, hoping to see the phone you’d somehow managed to get your hands on. Those chunky things were expensive, only the men in the big houses having them, but you were a mean ass pickpocketer, and like idiots, people kept their keys in those pockets.
“Okay hey, Noah, I need you to listen to me.” His head was rolling like it was unconscious but he nodded anyway.
“Good boy. Where did you guys put the phone? The big one you guys played with.” You watched him fade in and out for a moment before he sucked in a heavy breath, shaking his head no.
“Don’t wanna get in trouble.”
“No, no, you’re not in trouble buddy. I just really need it right now. Tell me where it is, please Noah?” You put a hand against his cheek, trying not to flinch by how cold it was.
“Toy Chest.” He started to cough after the word, blood spraying out and trickling down his chin. “Alright, okay, stay here, stay right here.” You hopped up, racing down the hallway.
“Toy chest, toy chest.” You mumbled the word over and over again, trying to find where they’d hidden it. You’d told them countless times not to play with it.
It’s not a toy.
But they were little boys and they deserved something nice, something that you’d never been able to get them.
Just when you reached their closet, and the moment you had your hand on the receiver, a blood curdling scream echoed throughout the apartment, making the now sticky phone go crashing down against all of the wooden toys.
“Y/N!!!” He screamed. You felt all breath escape your lungs as you took off running, sliding against the red substance and stopping right in the doorway. A man in a long, brown leather jacket stood over your brother, knife in hands as he chuckled.
“Well, well, well. I see you finally showed up.” He smiled sinisterly, standing up as he placed a boot against your brother's chest.
“Stop it!” You yelled, hearing bones crunch. “Please stop!” Your voice cracked and you fell to your knees, trying to crawl towards his shaking body.
“Noah, Noah close your eyes. I’m gonna sing your song okay.”
“The Sweetheart one.” He asked, his voice cracking as the man pushed down harder.
“Yeah yeah buddy. That one. You ‘member.” He nodded, a small smile breaking his cracked lips.
“Good boy.” You whispered.
“I love you, I love you. I love you. Sweetheart of all my-”
“Dreams.” He echoed.
“That’s right. You're the sweetheart of all my dreams.”
“I love you, I can’t live without you. My life is empty it seems.” He smiled his toothless smile and looked at you. “You may do what you may, whatever you say.” His mouth started filling up with blood again as he sang and so you grabbed his foot, letting him know you were still there.
“You know that I always love you.” You kept singing, trying to ignore the man as he stood above you both, an angry look on his face.
“Alright.” He growled. “Enough of this shit.” He lifted his leg up, a small smirk lifting at the corners of his mouth.
“NO!” You yelled, trying to get to him before he could hurt your brother. But you were one second too late and the boot came crashing down, bones crushing beneath steel toe.
He didn’t even get the chance to take a final breath before his chest compressed and the man was by the window, knife flipping around in his gloved hands.
“Don’t worry little girl.” He purred, moving towards you as you fell against your little brother. “Not much longer and this,” He said, letting the sharp end of the knife poke your heart. “Won’t be anything but a memory.”
One, two, bam.
One, two, boom.
With every punch you felt your anger escape, the feeling of the material against your raw fist forcing your mind to go somewhere else.
Take a breath. You reminded yourself. It’s over.
It didn’t matter though. Your fucking therapist could say whatever she wanted, telling yourself it’s over did nothing other then make you think about it more.
Feeling your frustration beginning to bubble up again you pulled back your metal arm, watching with blurry eyes as it came into contact with the bag and sent it flying backwards. When it came back towards you, you put a simple finger against the rough leather, listening to the creak of the chains as it swung back and forth.
It was a sound that you knew all too well. A sound that had been engraved into your brain from the moment you woke up in that cold room.
“Son of a bitch.” You mumbled beneath your breath.
In that moment everything Steve had taught you about controlled punches was thrown out the window as you thought about those concrete walls, the mildew-covered pieces of shit leaving you with a nasty cough. They’d left you locked in there for days on end with nothing but a simple lantern that went out within an hour, forcing your eyes to adjust to the darkness. You saw things in there, things that though they were just the product of a tortured mind, still haunted you to this day.
A shiver ran down your spine as you fought to stay in control, trying to bring yourself back to reality as your knuckles began to bust open.
That was another thing Steve had taught you, always wrap your hands before you box. It was his favorite rule to yell at you about, and it was your favorite rule to break. If only he knew the way your mind worked, maybe then these rules wouldn’t be so important. Feeling your breath start to come out unevenly you took a step back, admiring the indents you’d left behind. Cracks were starting to form along the material, sand beginning to fall out of some of the holes you’d made.
“Dammit.” You growled, placing your hands on your hips. That was the third one in the past week, Steve was going to kill you.
“I’m gonna kill you.” You swiveled around at the sound of his voice, seeing none other than James Buchanan Barnes standing in the doorway. Your eyes instinctively rolled at his presence.
That man really rubbed you the wrong way, but the only thing you could think about was at least it wasn’t Steve, it gave you time to break it to him without being blown up on.
“Oh shut up.” You grumbled. “You're not even the one in charge of this shit.” You picked up your water bottle, chugging the remaining contents before slipping back on your t-shirt.
“Doesn’t matter though, does it? I still work out.” He walked inside, his duffle smacking against his short-clad thigh.
“And your point. You have arms, get a new one.” You picked up your bag, slipping it over your shoulders before heading in the direction of the door. He had a smirk on his face, arms crossed over his bare chest as he stared at you.
“What happened?” He asked, a hint of sincerity in his voice.
“Nothing.” You replied, trying to shove past him.
“Don’t give me that bullshit. I know that look and I know what that means-” He said, pointing to the punching bag before placing a hand on your shoulder. “So talk to me. I’m a good ass listener.” There was a split-second where you thought about letting your guard down, a split-second where your face fell and tears threatened to spill. But the second was gone as quickly as it came and you clenched your teeth, forcing away the emotion on your face. “No.” You then shoved past him, making sure to hit his shoulder on your way out.
“Barnes broke another punching bag.”
“Bucky!” You laughed as Steve screamed, his footsteps echoing down the hallway and towards the workout room.
“Are you serious man? That’s the third one this week.” Steve growled and you froze at the end of the hallway, listening in as James tried to state his case.
“I swear to you Steve it wasn’t me. I literally just got in here.”
“Oh really then, who was it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the one who was in here before me. Try asking her.” You watched from a distance as James held up his arms, pointing in your direction.
“Oh my, Y/N! Come here!” You groaned, crossing your arms as you defiantly walked down the hallway.
“What dad?” You asked sarcastically, leaning against the doorframe.
“Did you break another fucking punching bag?” He put his hands in his pockets, giving you what Tony liked to call the ‘dad stare’, which also translated to ‘don’t fuck with me’.
Roiling your eyes you turned to Barnes. “Snitch.” He said nothing but instead turned to Steve, “Told you.”
“Listen kid you’ve gotta be more careful. We’ve talked about this.” You nodded, readjusting the bag on your shoulder. “I know, I know, I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” He sighed. You could tell by the way he looked at you that he knew most of what was happening, and more likely than not what was going through your brain.
“We’ll talk about it later okay? In the meantime, dinners ready, Wanda worked pretty damn hard on it to so.” He pointed his thumb behind him, indicating you two to come eat. That was one thing about the Avengers that very much confused you, they had an incessant need to do everything together. Sure you had done it with your siblings, but as far as you could tell it was odd for adults to do it.
“Alright, lemme put up my stuff and I’ll be there.” James walked off, muttering about something beneath his breath as he did so. Steve then looked at you, eyebrows drawn together in concern. “Y/N, you coming?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know, I think I’m just gonna go to my room. I’m not really hungry.” His face fell, eyes going soft as he stared at you. He was analyzing you, trying to figure out what to say, and you appreciated his attentiveness but right now all you wanted was to be left alone.
“Hey,” He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder as you started to back away. “I know you’re hurting, and that’s okay, but don’t isolate yourself. We’re here if you need to talk.” He gave you a sweet smile before rubbing your shoulder and walking off.
Closing your eyes you squeezed the bridge of your nose, contemplating whether or not to go to dinner. Interaction was good, it was something you needed, and if you were being totally honest, it was something you craved. It had been so long since you’d felt part of a family, since you’d felt accepted. And you really, really wanted that. But there was a part of you that kept saying, don’t get too close. The same part of you that had said, we know that smell. And that part of you had been right the first time, so what was stopping it from being right now.
Sighing you turned around, gently placing a fist against the wall before heading in the direction of your bedroom.
Not today Y/N, just not today.
Taglist: @chrisevansdaughter @neonovember @buckymcbuckbarnes @evanswife1918 @outoftheseine @captain-of-my-game1992 @vrittivsanghavi
better version of my love
summery: when the holidays come around, the saddness sinks in when you see the love of your life with Natasha (bucky). but when tony and bruce tear a hole in the universe you get a christmas suprise.
sitting at the counter waiting for the cookies to finsh baking, you watched the snow fall from the midnight sky. the soft giggles could be heard from the living room -Natasha and Bucky were watching a christmas movie, but not really more like bucky tickling her and making out. since the summer you watched Bucky fall in love with Natasha, before that, last christmas he was doing this with you. well not the kissing part, but the cute holiday things, flirting, taking walks in the snow, watching movies, baking cookies. now you do those things alone. oh you wish this years was like last christmas.
the next day, you got countless 'thanks' and 'good job' for you cookies. almost all of the team is around the kitchen eating your cookies. Bucky has Natasha in his lap fedding her a cookie, the feeling of heartbreak doesn't last long when tony and another bucky come running in. the whole team looks at bucky and bucky and then bucky again and...then bucky?
"i may or may not have made a hole in the universe and another metal man popped out" Bucky looked at Bucky
"how do we get him back?" steve asked.
"thats the thing i dont know, it could take a day or weeks, months, years ,forever. no clue" tony said getting a cookie and then leaving.
"i mean i wouldn't mind two Buckys" Natasha says with a sly smirk, Bucky one frowing at her joke but says nothing. Bucky 2 mutters a soft 'ew' before his eyes scan the room, then he sees y/n.
"hey there doll" he steps closer to her, his human hand reaching out to brush some hair behind your ear. "h-hi Bucky, i- am i in your universe?" you asked while he held your face on his hands.
"yes, you were in the 40s. we were married and when i left for war and never came back you passed the year before steve found me, i knew you'd be here" everyone watched in aw.
"what? how did know she would be here?" sam asked.
"in my universe strange showed us your soulmates, y/n is mine. and she is in every universe."
the team stopped and looked around at one another. Bucky 1 froze, no not in this universe.
"well strange got it wrong, not in this one, i'm with natasha" bucky 1 said with anger he didn't like Bucky 2.
"no he's right, i got a glimpse into my future with her, shes the one" Bucky 2 said while smiling down at you, you still in his arms
"want a cookie?" you said unsure bucky 2 just laughed. "i'd love a cookie doll"
Bucky 1 didn't take the news well, no he couldn't love you! you were his best friend, his partner, the person he went too when he needed anything. once you and bucky 2 were gone, showing him his new room. bucky 1 stromed out of the room. he opened his and Natasha's door slaming it behind him. the whole frame shook with with it. his eyes burned with rage, no he wouldn't let his life go away. he would not be told what to do, bossed around, he was not going to let anyone tell him what to do!
he loved natasha! he was not going to let some "higher being" decide what he was happening in his life, hryda had done enough, but not you. would he ruin you in spite just because you loved him? would he shove his love with natasha in your face from now on knowing it hurt you to make a point to the universe? yes...he would. he did love you, you were his best friend next to sam and steve. he had endless love and care for you but...now that all was like smoke in the rain.
the next day while at breakfast with the team, bucky 2 came up to you. bucky 1 had been glaring at him and you the whole time. bucky 2 gently brought your hand in his metal one rubbing over your knuckles.
"good moring dolly, you look stunning" you blushed pink a shy smile gracing your lips. the one that made bucky 2's heart so zinnnnning into the clouds.
"would you like to go ice skating with me?" he asked, "i-i would love too" you said, the two of you got a plate of the pancakes sam had made and sat together chating and laughing. to be honset this whole thing was scary and weird but now that this new nucky was here you seemlessly fit together.
bucky 1 froze; that was your and his christmas tardtion, yes on the opening night of the ice skating rink he took natasha, to the same one, one the same day you two always went on but it was YOUR thing. he hated him and you even more.
the laughter was beeming, you and bucky 2 were having the best time.
"oh wow james, i'm having so much fun!" you said laughimg when he spun you around on the ice.
"you called me james..." he said a sad smile on his face now.
"oh i'm sorry, i can call you bucky if you like, i just didnt like calling you bucky 2" you said now feeling bad.
"no doll, i love when you called me james, you were the only person who was aloud to call that well except my ma. y/n baby i lost you once when i left for war. i-i know your not my y/n but you are just the same as she was! i-i just miss my wife. and then when strange told me that you and i love eachother in every universe. i was hopping to see you here. i'm not in love with some made up version of you, or an idea in my head. i'm in love with you!" he was now pulling you closer, hands on your waist.
"i know that you love sunny cold spring days, i know that every night you have to rub your feet together to get cozy, i know that it's been your dream to get married to your soulmate, have kids, with a nice big house and a welling paying job, a happy family, and being good parents because you never got that."
you were crying now because even though he was from a whole other universe all of these things were ture. and the things you knew and loved about him were ture also.
"i love you too" pulling each other into a soft and longing kiss, the universe felt like it was at peace, to doves soaring through the sky playing with eachother, two stars who have been away from one another finally meeting once again, it was the most love you had ever felt in your whole life.
for the next week you and james were together happyly. bucky was livid, why did this have to happen? why did his whole world just come crashing in on itself. why whenever he saw you and james he pretened that he was him. that you called him jamie, held both of his hands when natasha would hold the human one?
why did he suddenly care? tony found away to get james back to his universe but that didn't meen goodbye. once west-view happened tony and strange let wanda go to another universe were she could be with her kids and vision. so you were going to go with him.
your bucky in your universe he yeld and cussed at you when you asked if he cared or loved you more then best friends. he told you he would never love you and that the universe was wrong , that it was better you go so he won't have to see you anymore.
it hurt to hear him say that but when james pulled you into his arms that night it all went away. it was christmas and you were saying goodbye. you knew that you would see them in the other universe but knowing that they wouldn't be yours made it sad. steve and sam cried so did tony and thor. they sobbed like babies.
"i know that your gonna see us again but the fact that we wont ever see you again is hard" peter said while huuging you
"we'll meet again i'm sure of it, goodbye i love you all!" you said before you walked through the portal. bucky watched in the shadows as it closed. he could love natasha in peace now.
three years later...
there bucky stood watching the universes play on and on like movies of all the lifes he's lived with you. Natasha and him got married two months after you left, she cheated on him within one year of marrige. she did it with her soulmate bruce. here he was alone drunk of christmas watching the 'could have beens'. apart of this, he happy you left, saved yourself from his heartbreak. he's thankful james came and took you away because bucky doesn't know how long it would have taken him it figure it out that you are his soulmate. 'at lest she got the better version of my love' he thinks to himself....
before a golden portal opens up, with another version of you. strange did say they loved eachother in every universe, and they end up in every one together too.
A/n: okay i was going to let bucky suffrer for forever but i couldn't do it, i felt bad for him i another version of you comes and the two of you ending being together and he rights his wrongs. i did a really bad job spell checking and editing because its lat eso goodnioght and good luck reading lol.
Summary: Your secret relationship is nearly exposed when Natasha spots Bucky's neck covered in hickeys.
Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x reader
Warnings: 18+ only, smut, unprotected rough sex, lots of hickeys, swearing, pet names, fluffy feels, very minor angst, protective natasha, avengers tower au, beefy!bucky (he needs a warning).
Word Count: 1.3k
Like, comment, and/or reblog to put a giant smile on my face ♡
“Hey babe, I’m really sorry,” Nat sat down beside you on the couch, looking at you with a sad smile.
You furrowed your brows, trying to process her words. What did she have to be sorry for?
“Because of you-know-who,” she subtly nodded her head towards Bucky chatting with Sam in the kitchen. He was laughing at something Sam had said, and despite the fact that he was wearing a hoodie, the hickeys on his neck were still visible. She knew you couldn’t miss those prominent love bites.
Nat was well aware of the giant crush you had on the dark-haired supersoldier, and she also thought that those feelings were requited. Bucky had seemed entirely enamored by you ever since you joined the team. She couldn’t believe he would do that, especially because everyone including him knew how you felt. You must have felt terrible about the whole situation.
“Oh,” biting your lip, you willed yourself not to react. Nat could read you like a book and you didn’t want her to know about the sordid details of this chapter. Not yet at least. “He’s a grown up, and he can do whatever he wants,” you stood up in haste, giving her a nod before walking back to your room.
She missed the wink Bucky shot you, and the way you smiled at the ground as you left.
Bucky assured you that the marks would heal fast, giving you free rein to do whatever you wanted to him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t fast enough.
“What the hell?” Nat muttered under her breath. She figured his actions must have hurt you so much that you couldn’t even properly react to it. Deciding to confront the man himself, she stormed into the kitchen, pulling out a chair and sitting next to Sam.
She glared at Bucky as he finished up his story, catching the eyes of both men. Sam exchanged a look with Bucky, neither having any idea why she was staring like that.
Bucky grinned at Nat cautiously, “What’s up?”
“She was literally in the room, and you couldn’t think to maybe pull your hood on, or wear a scarf?”
“Nat,” he tried to think of an explanation, but the truth wasn’t his to tell. You asked him not to. “It’s no big deal,” he lied.
His time with you was everything, and he couldn’t fight the flashback his brain had of you in his lap the night before sucking and biting his neck as you rode him. If only Nat could see the state of your chest and the marks that you had thanks to him, she’d know there were no hurt feelings.
Sam watched on, trying to keep his face neutral because he already knew about the two of you. He’d seen Bucky slip out of your room a few mornings ago, however he respected your privacy and kept your secret. Although, he had no problem teasing Bucky about it when you weren’t around.
“Live your life, but you could be more respectful of her feelings,” she said before standing up and leaving.
Bucky pursed his lips as he looked at Sam.
“Should’ve covered it up, man,” Sam smirked.
Nodding his head, “Yeah, for her sake.”
“What are you guys waiting for?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m letting her set the pace, it’s up to her.”
“Fuck, Bucky,” you cried out as his powerful hips snapped into you at a relentless pace. The sheer look of pleasure and determination on his face made you shudder as you watched him take you apart. Your legs wrapped around his waist, an impulse for more; to be closer, to be consumed.
Metal fingers began to circle your clit, making your body contract beneath him.
“Oh baby,” you whimpered. He fucked you like a god, a self-assured divine being.
Bucky smirked, “Do you like that?” His fingers continued their sweet torture as he took what he needed. With each fierce thrust he brought you closer, to your end, to his soul.
Unable to speak, you watched your perfect man lose himself inside of you.
It hit like lightning striking your body, electrifying every nerve with blissful euphoria. You threw your head back as you heard your pulse ring in your ears, wet walls squeezing tight around his cock.
Unable to think, simply feeling the sensory overload.
He groaned out your name as his hips stuttered erratically. Pushing impossibly deeper, he came hard. Shuddering his release, pumping himself empty inside his favorite place.
Collapsing on top of you, he kissed you softly before turning you on your side as he stayed nestled inside of you.
Dark blue eyes connected with yours, his thumb dusting over your bottom lip.
Tangling your hands into his hair, you pulled him closer, pressing your lips to his. Tongue sliding between his parted lips, chest pressed against his, close.
This was where you were supposed to be.
Bucky pulled back and playfully started peppering your face with kisses. Down your jawline, all over your cheeks, on your nose, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling.
“Bucky!” you tried to grab his face. But he wouldn’t relent, gripping the back of your neck, kissing you until you were squealing in laughter.
He loved that sound, he adored seeing you so happy. How Nat could ever think that he’d go for any other girl was not something he could comprehend. Bucky only had eyes for you.
“Doll,” he kissed your lips before letting you catch your breath. He couldn’t wait any longer, he had to know. “What are we doing?”
“What do you mean?” you whispered.
“Why are we hiding this?”
You sighed. “Because I want this to be our thing for a while longer, we’re having fun aren’t we?” you grinned, not understanding his concern.
“Of course we are, but… this is more than just fun for me,” his eyes searched yours.
Oh this sweet, soft man.
“Then we’ll tell the team, we can tell anyone you want.”
“Really?” he beamed.
“Yes, really. It’s more for me too, I don’t want you to think for a moment that it isn’t. I didn’t want anyone casting doubts on us – but I’m sure about you, so it’s okay.”
“Thank you, I can only take so much mad-dogging from Nat,” he breathed a sigh of relief. Although, his true solace came from the knowledge that the feeling in his heart was reciprocated – he was damn well certain about you too.
“Right, because that’s your thing, isn’t it tough guy?” you teased. His penchant for staring often intimidated others, but you knew the kind-hearted man under the hard exterior.
Bucky narrowed his eyes, rolling you on top of him in one swift movement. His hardened length still inside of you told you that the time for talking had ended. Your hands fell onto his strong, broad chest as you held yourself up, ready to take him for a ride.
His fiery gaze landed on your breasts, the heat from his stare capable of scorching the earth. He ran his warm fingers over the fading marks he’d left from the night before, admiring them.
Desire flooded your body and when your eyes locked, an idea came to your mind. “Why don’t you bite my neck?” you raised an eyebrow.
He sat up, the offer one he wasn’t willing to pass. Bucky trailed his lips along your jaw, nibbling his way down until he whispered, “Only if you promise to bite me back,” he licked up your neck.
With a racing heart, you circled your hips before grinding down on him. “Deal.”
There was no point in concealing this connection that meant so much to the both of you. And as his teeth bit down on your skin, a rush of arousal ran through you. The sting of his possession, the way he felt so deep inside you; this was it.
The two of you would likely tell your friends the following day about your relationship – or they could just take a look at the matching marks on your necks that let them know exactly who you belonged to.
Test Drive (Oneshot)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: Bucky has a breeding kink.
Warnings: smut (18+), female receiving oral, penetrative sex
A/N: LOL HEY EVERYBODY! this one has been in my drafts for over a year and I rewatched civil war yesterday so I’m mentally prepared to write about bucky barnes again. hope everyone is well love u all xoxoxoxo GIF IS NOT MINE
“I don’t understand. Is this gift for Pepper, or for their kid?” Bucky raised up a set of booties meant for a toddler, sticking one of his fingers inside the tiny shoe. “Don’t tell me it’s for Stark.”
“I have no clue,” you answered honestly. “It’s a baby shower, but the baby isn’t even out of the womb yet, so I don’t understand why we are giving things to it.”
Bucky chuckled at your words. “I mean, it’ll be out soon.”
“I’m just saying, I like Pepper way more than I like that thing, and she’s doing all the work. So we’re supposed to just give it all the credit?”
Your super-soldier boyfriend laughed harder now, walking around you to another aisle in the baby store. “I feel like giving the baby a gift is the same thing as giving Pepper a gift. Less money for them to spend.”
You had to give him that one. “Fair enough.”
“I had no idea you had this side to you,” Bucky picked up a onesie, holding it up to his chest. It was baby blue with an elephant printed on the chest.
“‘This side’?” You walked over to him and looked through the baby clothing. You found a tiny onesie that read I just traveled through a birth canal and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
“A baby-hating side.”
You gasped. “I don’t hate babies!”
Your boyfriend raised his eyebrows skeptically and walked around you. “Suuuuure, Y/N.”
“I don’t!” You defended, following after him, taking that onesie with you. It’ll have to do. “I mean, I don’t hate their kid, I just think the parents—especially Pepper—deserve more credit than something that can’t even take care of itself when it comes out. Giraffes run the second they’re out of the womb.”
Bucky shook his head, laughing lightly.
“You don’t agree?” You stepped through the narrow aisles to get in front of him.
“Weirdo. What do we do, then? Wait till the kid can hunt? Give it a gift then?”
You pondered that. “Ugh, no. We have to give it something, even though all it has done for the past nine months is sit around in Pepper. Lazy bastard.”
Bucky wrapped his hands around your hips and brought him close to you. “What would you want for your baby shower?”
“An air fryer,” you answered immediately.
He rolled his eyes playfully at your answer. “You wouldn’t want a stroller or something?”
You looked over to your left, where a fancy looking stroller was parked. “Babies should be able to hunt and gather within a week of exiting the womb.”
“That’s my girl.” Bucky planted a kiss on your forehead. “We’ll complain about it to Tony. He’ll come up with something to fix that. So what’re we getting them?”
“This.” You held up the onesie.
“Is that enough?”
You shrugged. “He’s a billionaire. They’ll be fine.”
Bucky nodded in agreement, holding up his wrist to check the time. “We gotta go, we’re going to be late.”
“We have to stop shopping for things the day of,” you walked toward the cash register, Bucky right behind you.
“Never,” you could hear the smirk in his voice.
Bucky parked himself with the rest of the boys in the kitchen of Tony and Pepper’s apartment. All of the women were in the living room, watching Pepper open her gifts.
“Are you happy it’s almost over?” Bruce asked Tony, taking a long sip of his beer.
“Yes and no,” Stark answered honestly. “I’m really excited to have kids with her, I’ve wanted to for a while.” Tony’s eyes were filled with love and admiration for Pepper as he gazed at her from across the room. It was heartwarming.
“So why the ‘no’?” Steve asked. He was sitting right next to Bucky, drinking some cocktail Tony came up with. He had called it the Optimus Prime, words that meant nothing in Bucky’s brain. Tony had tried to explain the reference, but Bucky made him stop talking after he mentioned it was about cars coming to life. Further proof technology has come way too far. Everything should have stopped evolving after the iPod.
“Because the sex I’ve had in the past few months has been the best I’ve ever had.”
“Really?” Bucky questioned. He wasn’t sure why, but this surprised him.
Tony nodded, eyes focused on Pepper. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe because it’s my kid in her, I dunno. I just know that it’s been a major turn-on. So it’s a bummer that that’s over.”
Bucky’s imagination was immediately filled with images of you through the stages of pregnancy, carrying his kid. You, getting rounder and fuller, filled with him.
His eyes flashed over to you. You were sitting on the same chair as Natasha, holding a glass of wine. Bucky tried to get that picture out of his head and focus on you instead, because it was making him feel a little animalistic. He shifted his weight in his seat.
His staring and fidgeting did not go unnoticed. “Bucko’s already thinking about it,” Tony laughed.
Bucky turned back over to his friends, ears red. “Shut up, man.”
“Would you guys want kids?” Banner asked him, and Bucky looked back over at you.
“Haven’t talked or thought about it,” Bucky answered honestly. You were whispering something in Natasha’s ear that was making her laugh. Bucky would put his money on guessing you were making fun of babies again. “We’re not ready for that. Not right now, anyway.”
“You’ve got a lot of time,” Steve remarked.
Bucky nodded, trying to get his mind off of imagining you pregnant. Heavier. With him.
Day had slipped into night by the time you two left the Stark baby shower. Because all of you lived in Avengers Tower, the walk back to the apartment you and Bucky shared was short.
Bucky was thankful. He could only go so many hours trying to fight off every thought he had of you pregnant with his child.
Neither of you talked. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but was thick. Words were unsaid.
Once you got to your door, you stopped and waited for Bucky to unlock it.
“You okay?” Your brow furrowed. He looked… not angry, but like something was on his mind.
He didn’t answer, just focused on unlocking the door. An image of him rubbing your pregnant belly while you rode him flashed in his brain, and he dropped the key.
You laughed lightly. That was unlike him. “Bucky,” you squatted down with him when he bent over to grab the keys.
“Y/N,” he countered, mirroring your tone. He stood up, trying to get the door open for a second time. He felt like something feral had been awakened inside of him. Bucky took a deep breath, trying to focus, and got the door open.
Bucky walked inside immediately. Normally he would wait and let you go first, but he had no time for civility, no time for manners, not now.
“After you,” you said under your breath, sarcastically. As you walked inside, you thought about what happened at the baby shower, trying to figure out what had annoyed Bucky so much. He had grumbled something earlier about how cars shouldn’t be able to become human, but this didn’t seem like that. If it was, he was turning into an old man faster than you thought. “Look, I know baby showers aren’t exactly a rager, but I thought it was a nice get toget—”
He caught you off guard by slamming you into the wall behind you, his hands cupping your cheeks. Bucky’s teeth clashed and clamored with yours, his tongue slicked in and out of your mouth.
You pushed his shoulders back gently, and while he pulled away, his hands still held onto your face. Bucky’s hot breath fanned your skin, and his thumb lightly traced your bottom lip. The energy had shifted from primal to caring in a matter of seconds—you couldn’t keep up with Bucky, you never have.
“Are you okay?” You whispered.
He nodded, a light smile spreading across his lips. “Are you?”
“Yes. But I’m confused.”
The pad of his thumb tugged lightly at your bottom lip, opening your mouth slightly. You thought he was going to kiss you again, but instead said, “I’m going to put a baby in you.”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you leaned backwards. “Oh, are you now?”
“Yep. If you’ll let me.”
“Now? Now, now?” Your hands attached to his wrists, and you lifted his hands from your face.
“Doesn’t have to be now, I know you’re on the pill. Just eventually. I want you to know that I want that with you.”
“Oh,” you squeaked. You weren’t sure what to say to that. No one had ever told you they were going to put a baby in you before. “Maybe you should buy me dinner first,” you joked.
He ignored it. “Maybe we can… I dunno,” Bucky’s hands slid down your sides, and his hands clasped around the softness of your hips. He squeezed gently. “Take it for a test drive?”
“What is up with you and cars today?”
He smiled lightly, and moved his hands to your ass. He cupped it and brought him closer to you. “Yes or no?”
“To you breeding me?”
You had said the word jokingly, but a dark fire lit in his eyes. The way he was looking back at you made your heart skip. Real eloquently, you stammered: “O—Oh.”
Bucky started crouching in front of you, planting kisses down your neck and onto your clothed chest. After he kissed your lower stomach, he looked up at you through his eyelashes. “You have to say yes, sweetheart.”
All you could do was nod as his hands, still cupping your ass, squeezed again.
“No, Y/N. You have to say it.”
“Yes,” you breathed. “Test drive.”
“Test drive,” he agreed. Then, he stood up, and threw you over his shoulder, fireman-style.
You reached down and spanked him as he took both of you to the bedroom, which he promptly returned. “What brought this on, exactly?”
Your brow furrowed. “Pepper?”
“Wait, put me down.”
Bucky sighed and kept walking, keeping you over his shoulder. Once you got to the bedroom, he threw you—gently—onto the bed. “I need you to explain this a little bit more to me.”
He sat down next to you, hands rubbing up and down his thick thighs. He was nervous, you could tell. Nervous, and incredibly turned on by the looks of his crotch.
When he didn’t respond, you pressed further. “You want to get me pregnant because you like how Pepper looks when she’s pregnant?”
“What?” His gaze snapped towards yours. He laughed lightly. “No. Pepper is a good-looking girl, but no.”
He sighed. “Tony was saying how he’s had the best sex of his life the past few months with her, while she was pregnant,” he glanced over at you again, eyes flashing towards your midsection. “He made a commen—look, are we doing this, or no?”
“What comment?” You put your hand on his thigh, squeezing gently. You wanted to know exactly what was turning Bucky on so much about this. “You can tell me, you know. Future father of my children.”
Bucky swallowed. “My kid in you. Me, doing that, to you.”
Your mouth went dry. You hadn’t really thought of it like that before.
“You,” he continued, gently pushing you onto your back on the bed. “Growing because of me. Growing with me. With us.” Bucky had propped himself as lightly as he could on top of your hips, sitting on you. The weight of him felt good on top of you.
His fingers grazed your face, holding your head in his hands. “Bucky,” you whispered breathlessly. It was all you could manage.
He grabbed both of your hands from off of his muscular thighs and pinned them above your head. “‘S all I can think about. Going fucking crazy imagining touching you, looking like that.”
You moaned unabashedly. You could see just why this was driving Bucky so fucking feral earlier.
“Let me, honey.” Bucky pleaded, even though he already had your permission. “Let me make you mine.”
“Yes,” you repeated. “Bucky, yes.”
“Test drive,” he promised, kissing your forehead. Bucky pulled your jeans off, and then your panties. He left a trail of kisses down your torso, all the way down your core.
“Bucky, I can’t wait—” you begged him to begin. You felt animalistic.
“You can, and you will,” you could hear the smirk in his voice, the bastard. Then, his tone changed as he kissed the inside of your thighs: “Not long, sweetheart.”
You whined again, which just turned him on even more.
Bucky’s strong hands squeezed the sides of your hips, quite possibly his favorite part of your body. He thought about how your body would change while you carried his child: your skin would glow, your torso would get rounder, heavier, your tits—
Bucky almost finished right then and there.
His tongue swirled around your core, sucking and focusing on your clit. Your hands were tangled in his hair. Once, when Bucky hit your spot, you yanked the hardest you ever have. Your heart stopped, worrying you hurt him.
He could read your mind, you swore it. “You can’t hurt me, baby. Now let go.”
And you did, right under his tongue. Your ears were ringing, and you couldn’t open your eyes if you tried.
Without wasting any time, Bucky wrapped his arms around your limp body, lifting you onto his lap, kissing your face, neck, ears, hair. You felt him slip himself inside you, and you gasped.
“This is my favorite,” he whispered in your ear. He had you pulled close to him, facing him. When he kissed you, all you could manage was a sloppy kiss back. “Overstimulated.”
You agreed with him, but didn’t have the oxygen to tell him. Bucky could feel you pulse around him, still reeling from your last orgasm. That feeling alone was enough to send him over the edge, but he forced himself to maintain composure. If only for a few seconds, at least.
“Bucky,” all you could manage was to hold his face in your hands. You looked him in the eyes, and gasped again once you saw his pupils were totally dilated.
“Y/N, honey,” his voice was thick and raspy with desire. He thrust himself into you, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
Just a few more moments, Bucky thought to himself, and flipped the both of you over, still holding you close to him. Now, on your back, your neck buried itself in a pillow behind you. You had grabbed fistfuls of his ass, squeezing every time he pounded into you.
You were both close.
You. Full of him.
You weren’t sure if you screamed, or you just felt like you did. Either way, you had the strongest orgasm of your life right under his touch. Bucky soon followed, and let himself fill you up. Just with him.
He collapsed on top of you, and you wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. Both of your bodies were sticking together with sweat. You were shaking, and he hadn’t gotten control of his breathing.
A few minutes went by. Bucky had tried to roll off of you, so as not to suffocate you, but you held on tighter. “No.”
Finally, you sat up. Bucky turned so he was laying on his back, and sighed softly as you started tracing his chest and stomach with your finger. “So…”
“So….?” He copied your tone.
“Whe—” You blushed, and put your head in your hands.
Bucky couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He just ate you out and got you off to the idea of breeding you, but now you’re shy? Bucky grabbed both of your wrists in one hand and lowered them from your face. “Tell me, baby.”
You rolled your eyes and laid on top of him. You couldn’t look him in the eye, and Bucky knew it.
He loved you so much.
“When are we doing that for real?” You whispered.
Bucky gently cupped your chin and made you hold eye contact. “Whenever you want.”
“Well, I definitely want to.”
“I can tell,” he smirked.
You hit his chest lightly. “Shut up. That was the most turned on I’ve ever seen you.”
“Oh, completely. I had a hard on the entire fucking baby shower.”
You covered your face, laughing. He joined you, giggling right with you. “I feel so unashamed when it comes to you.”
You looked up at him once more. “I want you, everyday.”
A smile grew on his face. “Let’s buy this car, then.”
Taglist: @tuiccim @beastansstan @musesforart @kimanne723 @bananapie99 @bonkyboinkybucky @bruhhvv @youcanhaveyourspacecowboy @missmarvelobsession @hurricane-abigail @shizuethedragon @cherryslibrary @coffeebooksandfandom @desibarnes @buckyownsmybleep @carolmaximoffs @buckysknifecollection @sunflowersteves
Okay best friend Bucky is all I’m thinking now after the party thoughts … but with a different scenario in mind . You and Bucky getting high together at a party ! And suddenly you act more like a couple than friends . He pulls you on his lap and kissing your neck making you giggle . He comes behind you and hugs you while you’re on the kitchen fixing yourself a drink and talking to a friend , burying his face in the crook of your neck and telling you he missed you . The moment you see a girl talking to him or even touching him you’re on him , hugging his waist and kissing his chest , instantly pulling his focus away from the other woman . Swaying together and kissing each other dangerously close to the others mouth . Just a bunch of tension, touches and pda
18+ minors dni
Yup this is sexy as hell and while this screams college Bucky just imagine how hot this would be with sexy super soldier Bucky.
Cause he uses weed to relax and wind down, let's say alcohol does nothing for him but getting high hits different. He snuck out of Tony's party to smoke and you're searching the crowd looking for him. You finally find him outside taking a long drag before
"Hey Sergeant" You smirk, plucking off the little tiara you had on your head, putting it on him instead. "Was wondering where you were"
"You were looking for me?" He gives you a hazy smile, already feeling lighter, his heart fluttering a little. Why did it do that. Stop that.
"Mhm, I see you're busy" You snort, nodding to the joint he's holding. He hands it to you, letting you take a few hits. You both smoke until its finished, the effects of the weed taking place nicely because you've never felt more relaxed.
You both make your back way back inside making your way through the crowd. Bucky finds the lounge area the team is sitting at, grabbing your hand and pulling you along with him. You're about the sit on the arm of the couch, letting out a squeak when he pulls you to sit on his lap instead.
He gives you a goofy grin, his eyes glazed over while you feel your skin heat up, his lips brushing on your neck. He kisses your skin softly, his nose nuzzling against your neck while his hand strokes your waist.
The team stare at you both wide eyed, completely unsurprised by what’s happening in front of them, there was a betting pool about how long this would take. They soon realize you're both idiots who still haven't made anything official but now the stakes are high. (hehehe)
You giggle as he keeps gently kissing your neck, his eyes are focused on you and nothing else. He loves how warm you feel, the scent of your perfume, how cute your laugh is, how perfectly you fit on his lap, how adorable you are, how much he loves you, how much he wants to fucking rail you-
Woah. When did he feel all this.
He blinks, though not stopping what he's doing because he can't help it, you're too addicting.
"M'gonna get a drink, I'll be back" You hop off his lap, making your way to the kitchen not noticing the way Bucky pouted as soon as you got off his lap. He waited for a few minutes before coming and hugging you from behind, not bothered at all that you were talking to one of your friends (It was at this moment, Tony raised the bet to $500 that tonight is the night).
You giggle, feeling his beard tickle you when he snuggles his face into your neck, his arms hugging you tighter.
"I missed you" He pouts again, kissing your shoulder before hiding his face against your skin. "missed you so much"
"I just came to grab a drink Bucky"
"Ya, so far away"
Eventually he lets go because you need to use the restroom. When you come back, you find some girl talking to him, her arms caressing his bicep, touching his chest. You’re not a fan, you don’t like it. You don’t know what it is that you’re feeling here, your happy high is still present but there’s something else that gnaws at you. Who does she think she is.
You slip in between them, wrapping your arms around his waist, your head resting on his chest. You press a kiss onto his chest, nuzzling your face in like he’s your pillow. His arms instantly wrap around you, he’s kissing the top of your head, he doesn’t register the girl huff and stomp away.
He has his baby in his arms, nothing else matters.
Then he pauses, because why did he just call you baby, you’re not his. His train of thought is interrupted, feeling you kiss his chest again, you’re eyes closed, happy in your own world. He’s swaying and rocking you in his arms, trailing kisses from your forehead to your nose to your...cheeks.
You giggle, looking up at him and his lips are so soft and you shouldn’t be thinking this about your best friend. You kiss... the corner of his lips, the both of you dangerously close to each others mouth. Kisses keep inching closer, his hands gripping you tighter, theres only so much self restraint one can have...
Back at the lounge area
“For fucks sake, just kiss already”
“They did kiss”
“But close to the mouth doesn’t count, it has to be full on tongue”
“I say they’re together, they’re like a tongue slip away from making out, just call it already”
“I’m calling it, I win the bet, suck it”
“I’m not sucking anything, not until-
(Bucky picks you up by the back of your thighs, carrying you out, your hands tugging on his hair while his tongue is tangled with yours)
“HAH I TOLD YOU”
Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyes @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchy-whore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @peaches1958 @kingfleury @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @samfreakingwinchester @xnorthstar3x
Sugar Daddy• 18+ Content
Warnings- Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby Dynamic, Age-Gap, Heavy Daddy Kink, Innocence Kink, Exhibitionism/Voyeurism, Praising, Masturbation, Teasing, Overstimulation, Pet Names (Sweet Girl & Princess)
Summary- After a long weekend without James, your body becomes needy and desperate— aching with the slightest touch. Once James finally comes back from his business trip, he shows you how much he missed you by helping you get off.
Pairings- Bucky!Barnes & Female!Readed
Words Count- Roughly 3k
Author’s Note- I apologize for the long wait for another fic, I’ve been so stressed and overwhelmed my writer’s block has prevented me from getting any writing or ideas down. But! I hope you enjoy this, and I know the ending is a little choppy.
You wandered into your high-end apartment, sighing loudly in relief as you kicked off your Gucci heels— bare feet thumping against the black floorboards as you walked into your bedroom.
You plopped the Chanel and Prada bags onto the floor— not a care in the world as you bounced onto your king-size mattress. The expensive fur blankets sending a chilling effect feeling to your body— feet chafing together underneath the blankets.
You had the life, living as if you were a Barbie. Spoiled, Rich, and Unemployed. Your only job was being extremely ravishing, and that’s all you needed in life. You were a natural beauty, no injections or fillers needed to amplify that.
And that’s why every businessman in Manhattan was at your feet. They worshiped the way you held your head high— your confidence radiating over your body. But, you just blinked an eye at them.
You had everything you could ever imagine, all thanks to billionaire sugar daddy— James B. Barnes. James had your whole body wrapped around his pinky— the hefty weekly allowance and rough sex ruined you for anyone else.
He gave you everything you wanted and more. He paid your bills, paid for your car insurance, and even paid off your college debt. Just being his baby was a treat in itself, and giving him the sugar wasn’t an issue.
His allowance only increased when he was away for business; leaving you in your New York penthouse by yourself– no surprise visits or late night cuddles. Of course, you knew what you signed up for, but you couldn’t help but feel lonely without him.
Every night, you would find yourself rubbing your clit; moaning James’ name as you dreamed of his hands touching you— but nothing worked. Not even the rubber toys he bought you, declaring to spice up your sex life.
Your body was failing miserably to cum without him, your body completely and utterly lost without his touch. James treated your body like a temple, he knew every secret within you— and knew exactly how to satisfy every inch of you.
Without James, you were nothing but a dog in heat. Your body was overheating, the sizzling feeling in your core taking over as your hormones got the best of you. Head spinning— your hands moved on their own, pushing themselves underneath your dress.
Your chest was rising slowly, your breathing becoming lethargic. The back of your head tipped into your silk pillows, your eyes fluttering shut as the stretch of your lingerie dampened. Your mind imagined James— illustrating the last night you two spent together.
The digits of your fingers slipped into your soaked hole, pumping your wrist slowly for maximum pleasure. The flow of your wrist made your mind hazy, your pent-up orgasm slowly ripping through the flesh of your core.
Your hole clenched around your fingers— your body forcing itself to push through an orgasm. Your cheeks flushed, your back arching, and toes curling. Just as your mouth opened, the rattling sound of keys washed your orgasm away.
Your body jolted up, ripping your hands away from your abused cunt— pulling your dress down and fixing your messy hair. You peered around your open door, looking down the empty hallway.
“Peter? Is that you?” You called out, slowly making your way towards the living room— cold feet still thumping against the dark floorboards.
You heard a deep chuckle, the sound of dress shoes clacking against the wooden floors making you squirm. “Peter? Oh, has your little boy toy taken my place, Princess.”
You felt your heart skip a beat— turning the corner into the living, Bucky spread out on the couch— a cocky smile plastered across his scuffle. Your legs twitched, the swollen ache in your pussy throbbing at the sight of him.
Bucky sat promptly, watching you intently as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt— revealing a peek of his tense abs. “Come here, Sweet Girl. Daddy missed you.” He purred, using his middle and index finger to signal you over.
Your feet moved on their own, thighs comfortably spread as you straddled his lap. Bucky wrapped his muscular arms around your waist, his hands gliding across the cress of your ass. You moaned sweetly at his touch, rocking your body against his lap— desperate for friction.
Bucky cocked an eyebrow, roughly gripping the flesh of your ass— pushing your cunt further against his groin. “Excited, Princess? Mm, I missed you too.” He mumbled, pressing a chaste kiss against the bare skin of your shoulder.
“Daddy, please.” You whined, eyebrows scrunched together as you looked up at Bucky— begging him to touch you. Your body was hot, distress thick in your veins, nothing but lust clouding your brain.
Bucky chuckled, “Tell me what you want, Princess. I want you to use your words.” He gave you a mocking pout, his fingers snaking underneath your dress— pushing the fabric up your body.
“I want you to make me feel good, Daddy. Please.” You moaned, pressing your chest against Bucky— arching your back into the cup of his hand.
Bucky smirked, his hands clasping onto the skin of your waist. “Good girl, Princess. I want you to ride my thigh, okay? I promise it’ll feel good.”
“Yes, Daddy.” You mumbled, adjusting your body— rubbing the warmth of your cunt against his thigh. Your arms draped around his neck, burying your face in the crook of his neck— letting your delicate moans trickle down his pale skin.
Bucky hummed in delight, keeping a firm grip on your waist— guiding your feeble movements. He smirked in pleasure, watching your hips buck into the clutch of his palms— listening to the broken fragments of your wails.
Your fingers tangled into his hair, playing with the smooth ends of his brown hair— tugging slightly each time your stomach turned. The friction of his trousers made your head spin, the tight feeling engulfing your core— making your body sear with lust.
“Just like that, Sweet Girl. Ridin’ my thigh so fucking good.” Bucky praised, pressing butterfly kisses against the skin of your shoulder— his hands creeping their way up your back.
Bucky latched his fingers into the strands of your hair, gently yanking your head back— your eyes staring down at him with passion. “C’mon, Princess. Move those hips faster, I want you to cum all over me.” He whispered, his sweet lips still caressing your heated skin.
“Y-Yes, Daddy.” You whimpered.
You gulped down the dry lump in your throat, sharply inhaling as you moved your hips in rigid circles. Your nostrils flared with each heavy breath, your body engrossed with electricity— feeling friction with every sway of your hips.
Bucky watched you unravel on his thigh, watching as your thighs quivered— hips bucking into the forceful hold of his hands. You felt your stomach turn— tight, uncomfortable knots forming the pit of your core, making your head spin in delight.
“Fuck, Daddy. Th-That feels so good.” You yelped loudly, your eyes enlarged as you felt Bucky’s thigh bounce against you— holding your body weight like it was nothing.
Bucky smirked, watching your eyes roll back— the most beautifully lewd expression washing over your face. “Like that, Princess? Tell me how good it feels.” He demanded softly, pressing butterfly kisses against your collarbone— his wet lips making you shudder.
“Oh, fuck. It feels so good, Daddy. I’m so close!” You moaned loudly. You could feel your stomach turn, the tight knot in your stomach threads away from snapping.
Bucky playfully nipped your skin, his teeth just barely leaving marks. “Go on, Sweet Girl. Cum all over my leg, leave me a mess.” He guided, slowly bucking his foot— your body jumping with each bounce he made.
The thickness of his voice sent you overboard, the hoarse rasp of his tone making your body tremble in his grip— your legs spasming against his thighs. The wet liquids of your release squirted onto his slacks, staining the light-colored fabric.
Your breathing trembled, blinking your eyes roughly as you came down from your orgasm— an erotic post-orgasmic expression washing over you. Your fingers ripped themselves from Bucky’s soft strands of hair, draping around his neck.
Bucky chuckled as he watched you attempt to catch your breath, the hot minty feeling trickling down the skin of his neck. “Too much, Sweet Girl?” He asked, looking up at you with gentle eyes, tracing his fingers down your back— grabbing onto the mid of your waist.
“No, it’s okay.” You assured, receiving a wicked smile from Bucky.
Bucky hummed, adjusting your body— placing you on your knees, making you kneel in front of him. His leather shoes tapped the sides of your thighs, signaling you to spread your legs. “Open, I want to see that pretty little cunt.”
You did as told, pressing the heels of your foot into the flesh of your ass— spreading your legs fully, letting your slick trickle onto the floorboards. “Like this, Daddy?” You purred with innocence, looking up at Bucky with purity.
Bucky smiled proudly, adoring the messy sight in front of him. He tucked his fingers under your chin, his thumb caressing the corner of your lips as he tilted your head upwards. “Such a pretty little slut, just for daddy.” He mocked you playfully, pushing his thumb between your lips.
Your body was high off his praise, the creamy slick dripping onto the floorboards— a puddle of your release pooling underneath you. James cupped the flesh of your cheek, looking at you with wide— mocking eyes.
“James.” You mumbled, nuzzling your face into the warmth of his palm. Your body was hot, nearly melting into the wooden floorboards— deeply craving more of James’ touch.
“I want you to use that pretty little mouth of yours, let me hear you.” James teased, looking down at you with hungry eyes.
“Please, I want more.” You pleaded, “I need more.”
James chuckled, releasing his grip from your cheek. He laid back on the couch, his legs spread perfectly. “Touch yourself.” He ordered, fiddling with the zipper on his trousers.
You looked up at James with blank eyes, mouth ajar as you watched his hips buck— letting himself tug down his pants. Your body withered at the sight of his cock, his erection smacking against his stomach— showing the slight curve from the hardness of it.
“C’mon, let’s get off together.” He said playfully, his rough palms wrapping themselves around the bottom of his shaft— his feet moving to kick your legs further apart. “Let me see that perfect little body, Sweet Girl.”
“O-Okay, Daddy.” You mumbled sweetly, swallowing the dry lump in your throat. Your fingers slipped underneath the hem of your dress, gripping the thin fabric before pulling it over your head.
You pushed your body back, using your palm as support— keeping yourself propped up for James’ pleasure. Your left hand traveled between the cleavage of your breast, softly nipping at the flesh of your nipples— twirling them between the tips of your fingers.
You moaned sweetly, lazily watching as James tipped his head back— watching you through the hoods of his eyes. “Like this, Daddy?” You teased, slowly trickling your fingers down your abdomen.
“Mhm, just like that, My Sweet Girl.” James groaned as he pursed his lips together, a string of spit connecting to his pink tip.
You moaned at his praise, gliding your nimble fingers across your sticky folds— collecting any juices before circling them into your clit. Your body trembled, nostrils flaring as you teased your stimulated clit— a warm sizzling knot already forming in the pit of your stomach.
“Shit, Y/n. Let me see you finger yourself.” James grunted out, his hand steadily pumping his cock. “Moan my name, tell me who owns you.” He added on.
You did as told, slowly dipping your fingers into your tight hole. You curled the tips of your fingers, gliding your wrist as you pumped the pads of your fingers against your sweet spot. You nibbled on your bottom lip, nearly sucking on the pink flesh— trying to contain the volume of your moans.
James huffed, his muscular body sinking into the leather cushions. Short and soft whimpers trickled off his lips, his abs flexing underneath his button-up. “C’mon, Princess. Let me hear those pretty moans of yours.” He nearly pleaded, his palm tightening around his cock.
You pulled your foot off the ground, hooking your arm around the center of your thigh— giving James a full display of your stretched-out cunt, letting him watch as you worked your fingers deeper inside. “Oh, fuck. Oh just like that, James.” You moaned sweetly, throwing your head back as your orgasm built up.
James hummed in pleasure, his cock jumping at the sight of you— twitching against his tense grip. “That’s my good girl, keep going. Moan my name until I cum for you, Sweet Girl.” He praised you with a gruff voice.
You let your hips buck into the palm of your hand— stomach curling as you chased your high, riding your hand as you pumped your fingers faster. Your hips cramped, strong tension in your muscle flexing with each sway of your hips— body becoming hot with each flow of movement.
James’ nostrils flared, jawline flexing as he gritted his teeth. His veins popped, biceps flexing underneath the skin of his arm— aimlessly stroking his cock, desperately watching you in glory as you wrecked your body for his pleasure.
“Oh, James. Mhm, fuck— Daddy!” You wailed, letting the overstimulation of your pussy making your head spin. Your vision blurred, tears glossing over your eyes as the pleasure became unbearably intense.
James’ eyes never once left your body, his tongue rolled over his lips— wetting the pink flesh before digging his teeth into his bottom lip, “Mm, fuck. Say it again, louder.” letting out a low, lustful growl as he spoke.
His thighs spasmed as he continued to stroke his cock, the tip of his pale skin becoming red and abused— his pre-cum oozing down the sides of his shaft. James could feel his orgasm build up with each delectable moan that trickled off your lips— his stomach curling each time his hands squeezed around the head of his dick.
You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten, your second orgasm slowly approaching— James’ praises only adding to the speed of it. You pumped your fingers faster; wet, slurping noises filled the living room. “Ah! Oh, James. Oh, fuck! I’m so close.” You cried out as the cramping feeling in your calves trembled.
“Let it out, Princess. I’m so fuckin’ close.” James could feel his balls tighten, the euphoric feelings of his orgasm coursing through his veins— the tense pit in his stomach slowly starting to snap.
“God! Fuck, Yes!”— You felt your toes curl, the heel of your feet arching into the back of your ankle— body desperate to get away from the movement of your fingers. Your orgasm washed over you, thighs aching as they spasmed— the creamy white substances coating your fingers as you fucked yourself through your orgasm.
The knot in your stomach snapped— a lustful, intense heat rushing to your face. “Oh, Daddy. Oh, James! Don’t stop, please!” You continued to moan, fingers still working their way inside you— pushing yourself to reach every inch of the pent-up orgasm.
James let out an exasperated sigh, his hand falling flat at the bottom of his balls— massaging them gently as his thick cum squirted onto his abs, painting his skin white. James threw his head into the soft cushion, continuing to massage his balls as he milked himself dry— his body trembling with pleasure with each delicate touch to his testicles.
His lethargic breathing filled the room, the windows in the distance becoming foggy— heavy exaggerated inhales shared between the both of you, bodies still punch-drunk of your conjoined orgasms. You let your hands fall flat on the floor, your feet finally coming into touch with the slippery puddle you left.
You looked up at James, his eyes closed— head resting on the pillow cushions. His white cum was dripping down the indents of his abs, his stimulated cock still jumping against his abdomen— cum still leaning from his tip. “Daddy?” You mumbled, your voice still hoarse from the constant moaning and wailing.
James opened his eyes, greeted the sight of you crawling towards him— positioning yourself perfectly between his legs. You placed your hands on the apex of his thighs, letting James tuck his fingers into the strands of your hair— pulling your body closer. The feeling of his palm was warm and dominant, forcing your body into submission with a simple touch.
He looked down at you, those icy eyes melting into yours. James’ tongue rolled over his lips, dampening the dry skin before he spoke. “I know you’re tired, My Sweet Girl— but, clean my mess, will ya?” He pointed to the dripping cum on his chest.
You smiled sweetly, running your hands up his thighs— gently tracing your nails against his trousers. You lowered your face, pressing soft butterfly kisses against the rim of his belly button. James watched you with careful eyes, loving the feeling of your soft lips colliding with his skin.
You held eye contact with James, poking your tongue between your lips— licking a long stride up his abs, letting his thick cum cover the flatness of your tongue; the salty taste of his release making your head spin in disgust. You licked his chest clean of any leftover semen, nuzzling yourself back onto your knees.
“Daddy’s little helper.” James praised you, “I think you deserve a shopping spree, huh Princess?”
Thank you everyone for reading ❤️! I hoped you all enjoyed this fic of our favorite beefcake. I appreciate any feedback, whether that be comments￼, likes, or reblogs!
My request are open for anyone wondering, so please do not stray away. I will try to writer every request I get, it may take some time but I will get it done! (I am a multi-fandom account, Marvel, Sons of Anarchy, and Criminal Minds. But I will write for any fandom you guys request!)
If you are looking to join my tag-list, please leave a comment under this post and I will gladly start tagging you in updates and fics I publish ❤️.
Warnings: Bucky is a little shit. 18+, dirty talking, masturbation, just smut be advised
Summary: Bucky sends you a video while away on a mission
You don’t think much on it when you hear your phone vibrate on your bed-side table. Reaching for it to see a notification with Bucky’s name attached to it.
You press, playing the video he had sent you; your eyes widening as Bucky’s camera moves down. Your pupils dilate, mouth dropping as his large hand comes into view, pumping his thick cock. The tip of his dick already red and glistening with his pre cum as his thumb strokes over his slit. You hear his breathy moan in the back ground.
A noise of alarm leaves you as your eyes stay glued to the video. You can’t stop watching. Bucky’s moans are quiet against the speaker and the sounds he makes are enough to get your thighs rubbing to get any type of friction as your clit throbs in need. “Miss you so bad,” Bucky’s voice reach your ears and you feel embarrassed by the pathetic whine that escapes past your lips, “wish you were here.”
Bucky was supposed to be on a mission across the world, and had been gone with Sam for over a week.
His groans bring you back from your thoughts as his fist drags over his cock slowly, his breathy gasps and panting not helping the need that begins to grow inside of you. Your pussy clenches around nothing as Bucky murmurs your name likes it’s you who's stroking his cock.
His hand moves faster, you can see his fingers tightening around his length as his moans grow a bit louder. “Wish I could have you on your knees for me, baby.” He grunts and you feel a new pool of slick form between your thighs at the thought. “Fuck your mouth, it always look so pretty choking on my cock.” He curses and you gasp like he could hear you.
You can see Bucky’s hips buck into his enclosed fist as he pants. “But you know what I want more than anything?” Bucky squeezes and twists. “Wanna fuck you, baby.” He answers his own question for you. “Wanna make you cum on my dick, feel you squeeze me so tightly as you cream on me,” you're at a loss for words, feeling absolutely drenched in your panties now. “Mm, wanna fuck you dumb on my cock until you’re begging me to fill you up.”
And then a flow of curses mixed with your name come choking out of his lips as he cums.
You watch with wide eyes as his cock twitches with each ribbon of cum that shoot from his tip. His hand not stopping his strokes, painting his abdomen and hand in white. “See what you did? Made me make a mess because I miss your pretty pussy,” he practically growls, thighs shaking slightly from the force of his orgasm.
That’s how the video ends. And before you could replay the video while you sink a finger down your panties and into your dripping pussy, his name flashes over your screen.
His name comes out as a whine when you answer him. You can still hear his pants; he was still trying to regulate his breathing from his orgasm. But as you added a second finger, curling to try and reach the gummy spot inside you, you could practically hear his smirk as he spoke, “talk to me, baby, are your fingers not as good as mine.”
Pairing: alpha!Bucky x omega!reader
Summary: Your alpha's been busy and it's left you without his attention and affection. Tired of waiting for him to please you, you decide to tempt him into giving you exactly what you're needy for.
Warnings: A/B/O, alpha/omega, smut, reader teasing Bucky
Word Count: 621
I hope you enjoy my one, and hopefully not only, drabble contribution to Kinktober. Divider courtesy of @firefly-graphics. Make sure to check them out!
Two words were all you needed to get exactly what you wanted.
Your alpha had been busy lately and you were feeling needy. With it being fall, you decided to don an outfit that fit the season and would entice your Bucky to see to your needs. You were reaching up to grab a box of tea out of the upper cabinet when you heard him groan.
"'Mega," he whined, "why would you wear that. You know what those do to me."
You looked down at your clothes. A forest green knitted sweater that, with your arms stretched up, just barely covered your ass. Keeping your legs warm was a pair of sheer black thigh high socks that hugged every leg muscle that was flexed to keep you standing on your tip toes.
You knew you were a temptation, and you were shameless to show it off.
Feigning innocence, you replied, "I'm just dressed for a comfy day around the apartment. I was about to brew a cup of tea and read a book." While this was true, your intention wasn't to enjoy reading. You had every plan of putting yourself in a tempting position. Fortunately, he found you in here instead.
Bucky came over and molded himself to your body, running his hands up your thighs, pulling your sweater up and feeling a lack of fabric on the side of your hips. His groan was lower and longer as he dropped his head to the crook of your neck. "Did you forget your panties when you got dressed?"
"Maybe," you said coyly.
Once, twice, Bucky rubbed against you, letting his hardness rub between your cheeks. You moaned, slick building between your thighs already before you voiced the magic words.
Two moaned words suddenly, you were resting on the edge of the countertop. Before you could gather yourself, he thrusted fully inside you in one go. Your head flew back to rest against the cabinet you'd just had open as you cried out in pleasure.
"I missed this, 'mega," Bucky moaned. "Missed feeling how tight you are around me."
Whimpers escaped your throat as you tried to squirm in his arms. "Move, please. I need you," you pleaded. You'd been dying for this and he wasn't budging. You needed him to fuck you.
And your alpha was nothing but giving. He pulled almost completely out before thrusting roughly back in. He repeated the motion, mercilessly driving in and out of you. "S'good," Bucky said, his voice all gravel. "Squeezin' me s'good." You knew when he started to slur his words together, he was just as lost in the pleasure as you found yourself. You couldn't even find words, only whines, moans, and cries.
You clawed at his back as you tried to pull him closer, wanting to cling onto him as you felt the pleasure rise higher and higher. You were so close, and Bucky knew it too. He groaned as your walls started to squeeze him even harder. "Gon' knot you s'good," he panted. "Gimme all that slick, lemme knot ya. Gon' keep ya comin' on it."
Bucky's words had you both on edge. Suddenly, he thrusted in as you felt his knot inflate and lock your bodies together. Feeling it against every sensitive spot had you screaming as you finally fell into an abyss of pleasure. You barely registered your alpha's low, drawn out moan as you felt streams of his orgasm filling you.
It took several moments before your body collapsed, sated against Bucky's. He chuckled as he carefully lifted you without pulling you off of him. "Rest while you can Omega," he whispered in your ear as he carried you to your nest. "I'm gonna have you locked on me the rest of the night."
If you liked this, make sure to check out the following morning drabble here.
dating bucky barnes
your honour i love him. i love him so much.
-when you first met him, he was a grump. a real sour puss. when you were introduced to the avengers as the newest recruit, he kinda just did that up and down eyeing thing and grumbled
- steve was surprised he even showed up to that tbh
-you were really nervous around him at first (bc who wouldn't be). he sorta gave off this very on guard 24/7 aura, like if u stepped left instead of right he’d have a knife to your throat. so whenever you were near him, you were super quiet, keeping yourself as little as possible
-but he’d nod to you in acknowledgement when you walked in a room, or he’d tilt his head when he would stare at you from the corner, like he was trying to read you
- it eventually expanded into little waves in the hallways, or a little shy hello
-one time you were practising in the training room with knives and he came up behind you, fixing your stance and giving you a tip or two (steve walked in on this and his eyes literally fell out of their sockets)
-the two of you became acquaintances, both being rather quiet and timid. you noticed how’d he’d interact with other people, and then with you and it was very, very different. he’d often be almost rude to others, but for you… he had a soft spot.
-it expanded into you two training together or eating breakfast together while he read the morning paper (cause he's an old fart)
- whenever people teased you or anything, he’d defend you with his life. even if it was a joke. he’d snarl or grumble a response like “shut the fuck up n leave them alone”
- he was so protective of you. overly. even though at this point the two of you weren't “friends” yet. you noticed early on, he’d often stand in front of you if someone was near, or would always be in arms reach. on missions he’d always check in with you more than anyone else, covering you with his life.
-after a particularly rough mission the two of you were partnered on, you offered to fix up his wounds on the quinn jet. he politely declined, wanting to be alone as always but you insisted, and eventually he gave in. he was quiet the whole time, but you noticed how he’d lean into your touch, or even let out a little purr when you’d brush the warm water over the caked dirt and blood.
- things really shifted when you heard him screaming from his nightmares. you didn’t have a second thought as you ran to his room. you sat on the bed as he woke up crying, and at first he flinched for your touch. but your soft, gentle words brought him back to reality, and you stayed with him.
-you rubbed his back and played with his hair until he was about to pass out, but as you went to leave he grabbed your wrist and said “wait, please. stay.”
- it became common for you to come and help him with nightmares. you’d stay the whole night when he had them, falling asleep in awkward positions, like sitting up with his head in your lap from you playing with his hair
-he really warmed up to you. everyone noticed how he treated you, often teasing him. anyways the two of you became close, doing little things together like listening to records (his fav is ultraviolence by lana del rey) , stargazing on the roof, and you even tried teaching him how to bake a pie ( it did not go well)
-one time you went on a walk with him and there was a super loud noise so you grabbed his hand on instinct but he kept your hand in his the whole way home
- the two of you slowly realised you were falling in love with each other, and couldn't be just friends.
-sunshine and the storm is what your friends called you guys, as he truly only had a soft spot for you ( and steve)
- he calls you names like doll, bunny, sweetheart, my darling
-bucky never leaves your side. if he was protective before, its to the max now. he always has to be touching you, like a gentle hand hold, a brush of the fingers over yours, or holding your waist.
-he loves doing little things for you everyday like giving you flowers he picked, or writing you little letters. he even made u a cd once ( which is a big deal for him, he doesn't understand spotify) OOO and one time he tried baking you a pie like how you showed him, the poor thing
-he wakes you up with kisses every morning, cuddles and gives you back scratches
- bucky LOVES when you play with his hair. always. whether it be absentmindedly playing with it, or braiding it or scalp massages. he adores it
-bucky has polaroids of the two of you all over his mirror with his handwriting at the bottom with the dates so he can remember EVERYTHING
-whenever you're shy or anxious, he always helps. it could be anywhere from him doing breathing exercises with you, or if you're super uncomfortable he’ll do the task for you
- you always wear his shirts and he loves it!!! especially after the two of you make love in the shower, he rubs lotion all over you and plops you up on the counter to do your skin care and braid your hair. then he’ll shimmy the shirt over your head watching it fall to your knees
-motorcycle riding! It was scary at first, but you felt safe with bucky. late-night rides with him are the best, and you’ll often go to little creeks or ponds to watch the moon on the water
-he loves slow dancing with you. there doesn't even have to be music, he’ll just twirl you around and you step on his feet while he sways you side to side
-bucky is a huge softie<33
six months. - month one (chapter one)
Summary: six months. can a whole lifetime be squeezed in six months? after some devastating news, your life turns upside down.
Pairing: Bucky x Female!Reader
Warnings: the usual angst, medical stuff ? (wow so eloquent lol), sad, but fluff at the same time
previous part: prologue
A/N: first solid chapter of this fic is now here! this is a very emotional fic idea and it'll probably make you sad, so apologies for that! anyway, i really like how this chapter turn up and i need to keep up with consistently updating it.
A/N 2: if you liked it, please rebog the post and let me know what you think! i had kind of abandonded it since writing 'accidentally in love' but i'll start working on it again! happy sad reading!
MONTH ONE - January
“You can start now.”
You were sitting on the sofa in Tony’s living room as everyone was sitting around you. Their eyes felt like they were burning holes into your body.
It was the next day after New Year’s – the next day after you told everyone that you were dying. Last night, after the huge confession you had with Bucky, you just felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders – like you were holding your breath and now you could finally breathe again freely. But at the same time, you felt a pang of guilt. Although Bucky was totally on board to cherish every single day you had left with him, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for making him go through this. What would happen to him when you were gone? You were holding him back for six month and probably even longer after you were gone; holding him back from living his life while you knew you had a stamp with an expiration date on you. You were dying and that was irreversible.
You gulped as you watched everyone around you. They had a very serious look on their faces that you rarely ever had to witness. But then again, it wasn’t every day that you were dying.
You caught Bucky’s eyes watching you as he nodded, encouraging you to speak.
You let out a shaky breath before speaking, “There’s something wrong with my heart, basically.” You started, trying to avoid everyone’s stare at this point. You would either focus on them and the way they were looking at you or on your thoughts – you couldn’t multitask right now. “I don’t really know what specifically because Dr. Banner started using this medical jargon that I blocked out of mind because right then I couldn’t really give a sh-“ you cleared your throat, “-a second thought about it. I wouldn’t get it anyway. The outcome would be the same regardless. I’m to be dying within the next six months.” You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly feeling dry.
“Since when do you know?” Wanda whispered – you could hear a small crack in her voice.
“Two weeks. Ever since I came from my last appointment with the doctor.”
“Where you told us everything was fine.” Sam stated – he had crossed his arms over his chest.
“Why didn’t you just tell us?” Natasha was hurt from the way she spoke and looked at you.
“I didn’t want to ruin your holidays.”
“Don’t you think we had a right to know?” Tony was watching you intensely. He seemed angry that you hadn’t confided in him. You had promised to him that whatever happened to you, you could talk to him. And you always did. Until now. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.
“I just thought-“ you sighed, “-I just didn’t want you to treat me differently. I knew my time was limited and I didn’t want to lose any fragment I had with you over the fact that you would be mourning me while I was still alive.”
Thor was frowning and you could see he wanted to say something – he opened his mouth, but he quickly closed it again. You couldn’t blame him – it was a rough night for him.
“And what about you, tin-man?” Tony shifted his gaze to Bucky who was quietly observing the whole thing – not having spoken a word. “You knew all about this?”
Bucky shook his head as Tony arched an eyebrow. “How the fuck would I know, Stark?” He snapped and Steve just put a hand on his arm to calm him down. Tony and Bucky always had a love-hate relationship with each other – mainly because they were so different. Tony was loud, flashy and loved the attention; Bucky was quite, reserved and hated being in the spotlight.
“Bucky didn’t know, Tony.” You caught his attention. “No one knew. Only Dr. Banner.”
“I talked with him. He agreed to work more thoroughly in your case. I have already set a medical team and he’s joining.” Tony spoke with confidence – as he always did.
You jolted up from your seat. “Tony.” You warned.
Tony’s eyes were glaring you hard. “I’m not going to lose you, Y/N. Not without a fight at least. I want to be sure that I’ve tried anything. You’re like my little sister and damn me, if I can bear the thought of you dying.” His jaw was clenched as you stared him in the eyes you could see the pain behind them. He was trying hard not to cry. He probably did the night before judging from the pair of sunglasses that were tucked at the front of his AC/DC T-shirt.
You were staring at each other hard.
“I have to agree with Tony here, Y/N.” Steve spoke. It was the first time you heard him since you started explaining your situation. He looked like he hadn’t slept and that was probably because of Wanda crying her eyes out all night – trying to calm her down. That was just Steve Rogers – trying to keep everything under control when nothing was. When everything came crushing down you could count on Steve for support. He was always there even if it meant putting his own feelings aside. He tried to appear calm even when he was shaking on the inside. “We can try. You never know. Maybe this is reversible.”
“We should try. We have to.” Thor interjected and you saw his eyes starting to glisten.
You chuckled dryly shaking your head. “Don’t you get it?” You looked at Tony first, and then you scanned everyone. “Don’t you all get it?” You said again. “I don’t want you to get disappointed if nothing happens. We could be wasting our time chasing the impossible,” Tony tried to cut you off, but you just glared at him, “or we could go on with our lives. And whatever happens, it happens. We can’t always have control. And sure as hell, we don’t have control over death.”
“How can we go on with our lives when we know you’re going to die?!” Wanda growled.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” You snarled.
“You can’t blame us for not being ok with the idea of you dying, Y/N!” Sam said exasperated.
“It’s not my choice, Sam!” You defended.
“But what if we have a choice?” Bucky spoke quietly and your head whipped in his direction. “What if the team Stark has put together can find a solution?” You could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes and that made your heart clench. No, you couldn’t let him believe this.
“What if we don’t?” You challenged. “What if I end up dying in the end?” Your eyes trailed over everyone once more. “We would have lost our time chasing a ghost. And that ghost would be me.” You bit your tongue trying to hold behind any tears. You need to be strong, you thought. “You can’t cheat death. No one could. No one can and no one will.” You whispered.
“Y/N…” You heard your name being called by Bucky but your feet were already moving.
You cursed softly under your breath as you bolted out of the room and out of Tony’s house. You needed fresh air. The room was suffocating you as everyone was staring at you with worry, pity, and sadness. It was all you never wanted.
The air was cooling on your skin that was getting hotter.
You suddenly felt overwhelmed – your skin was hot, your vision was blurry and your head started spinning. In your chest your heart was beating so fast you thought it would burst. Your legs felt wobbly and you tried to reach somewhere to hold on.
You felt arms wrap around your body before everything went dark.
Before you blacked out, you heard your name.
But you were too deep into darkness to respond.
“I’m ready!” You called from your room as Wanda kept knocking on your door asking you whether you were ready or not. You checked yourself in the mirror one more time pining back any hair that was sticking out from the bun which was tied low in your head. The dress was nice – not too tight but not too buggy either – giving you a nice shape. You tried to put more effort with your makeup than you usually did, and even went for the eyeliner even though your hand kept shaking like crazy.
You stepped out of the room and Wanda gasped at the image of you.
“How do I look?” You grinned as you gave her a spin.
“Totally, absolutely, fucking gorgeous.” Wanda breathed and you laughed. “Barnes is one lucky fellah.”
You chuckled. “You think?”
“I’m sure, babe.” Wanda winked. “Speaking of whom,” Wanda nodded towards the window, “he’s waiting for you outside for the past…” she checked the phone, “thirty minutes.”
Your eyes widened as you checked the time. No – you still had ten minutes before he was supposed to pick you up. “It’s too early. We said 7.”
Wanda shrugged. “Guess he wanted to make a good impression.”
You smirked. “I guess so. First impressions matter anyway.”
Wanda furrowed her brows. “First?” She scrunched up her nose like she always did when she was confused, in thought or excited. It was just a characteristic of hers that you really adored. You smiled a little at the image of her. “You know Bucky for years, Y/N.”
You held a finger in front of her. “Uh uh.” You said. “I know friend Bucky for years.” You replied as you watched Wanda’s brows furrow deeper. “I haven’t still met Bucky my date. It’s our first date, Wanda. How was I supposed to know him?” You arched an eyebrow.
Wanda shook her head amused. “You know, I don’t even want to know what game you two are playing, but I’m happy you finally go out on a date. And I’m more than happy that this date is Bucky.” She said honestly. “So, now, I advise you to get your ass outside because this poor guy has been standing on that sidewalk for half an hour and I think he’ll freeze to death. It’s still cold as fuck.”
“It’s January, Wanda.” You snorted. “It’s supposed to be cold.” You grabbed your bag and keys as you made your way to the door.
“Don’t be early.” Wanda called as you closed the door.
You laughed. “I won’t.”
When you stepped out of the apartment, Bucky smiled at you and opened the door to his car. He didn’t forget to comment on how dazzling you looked tonight.
“And they say chivalry is dead.” You smirked as you stepped into his car. Bucky winked at you.
Bucky climbed into the driver’s seat as he started the car.
“So, Bucky,” you started, “you have a specific place in mind? I need to text the address to my friend. She gets paranoid when I’m out with strangers.” You were looking at Bucky’s profile – he was focused on the road in front of him. The corners of his mouth turned upwards.
“Don’t worry, you’re safe with me, Y/N.” He smirked.
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” You trailed as your shifted your eyes in front of you. “Who knows what you have in mind?”
Bucky chuckled. “Only the best for you, doll.”
And he sped off into the road.
“This is,” your mouth hung open, “beautiful.” You breathed as you were standing on the roof top of the most popular restaurant in the city.
Bucky, halfway through the road, had asked you to put a blindfold on.
“Well, that’s sketchy, mister. I don’t even know you that well and you already don’t want me to see where we’re going.” You had smiled, toying with the silk material of the blindfold.
“I promise you you’ll like it. But it’s a surprise.” Bucky had replied as he kept driving.
You put it on, completely clueless to where Bucky was driving you to.
When you felt the car stop you went to take the blindfold off, but Bucky stopped you. He insisted that he would lead you first exactly to the place he was taking you before he let you see where you were. He opened the door, took your hand in his as he helped you out and then, he guided you into a closed area. You could feel the heat coming from inside and you heard a ding from the elevator. You both walked out, Bucky being very careful not to let you step into anyone or anything.
“Now, doll,” you felt his breath on your neck as he was standing behind you, “I’ll take your blindfold off.”
As soon as the silky cloth was off your eyes, you gasped. “Bucky.” You breathed.
“I knew how badly you wanted to come here. But I also know how expensive and difficult it is to make a reservation in this place.” Bucky was still standing behind you; his hands were running up and down your arms.
“Then, how-“ Bucky turned you around so now you were face to face with him.
“I know people.” He chuckled – you arched your eyebrow. “Do you remember Dot?” He looked over behind you and you turned your head to where he was looking. You nodded as you shifted your focus back on him. “Well, I might have called her and asked her for a favor.” He smiled sheepishly at you.
“Buck,” you frowned, “tell me you didn’t ask for a reservation from your ex.” You deadpanned.
“Why not, Y/N? She was eager to help me. You know me and Dot didn’t split in bad terms.” Bucky shrugged. Bucky and Dot had split up a couple of months ago. They were dating for five months and back then, your heart would clench every time her name was mentioned. Tony would tease you for being jealous since whenever Dot was included in your get-togethers as Bucky’s girlfriend, your mood would turn sour. No one had noticed apart from Tony. Back then, you hadn’t told the billionaire that you had a massive crush on Bucky. But Tony, being the genius he is, had all figured it out. You trusted Tony that he wouldn’t say anything – and he didn’t. He was always like an older brother figure to you and he would do anything to protect you. When Bucky had broken the news that he and Dot had broken up, you tried so bad to suppress the smile that was ready to creep up, so instead you gave him a squeeze on the shoulder saying how sorry you were. ‘Yeah, right.’ Tony had mumbled and you elbowed him, smiling in victory when he let a gulp of pain. Bucky never told you why they had broken up. He just answered to Steve’s question with, ‘It was just a mutual decision. We’re not for each other.’ And then he had looked at you smiling sadly. You just smiled back not really sure how to feel since you could see the sadness in his eyes.
“Barnes,” you heard a female voice saying from behind you, “if you do us the honors.” She nodded towards the direction of the table right at the edge of the building where you could see the view of the city below. “Hello, Y/N.” She smiled at you and you smiled back. Your relationship with her had been a good one despite the fact that inside your head she was your ‘rival’. But then again, how would she know? It was just inside your head. No one knew.
Dot guided you towards your table and handed you the menus suggesting a few of her favorites, before leaving you to decide.
“Do you think she feels… awkward?” You hesitated as you held the menu in front of you.
“Why?” Bucky asked scanning his own menu.
You sighed. “Because she’s your ex and now you asked her to find you a table at the busiest, most popular and most expensive restaurant in the city for your date – who is me by the way. Do you think she may believe that I was the reason you two broke up?” You asked nervously. The thought of being a home wrecker was so abhorrent to you, it made you cringe.
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Bucky closed the menu. You let out a breath of relief. “She knows it was because of you we broke up.”
“What?!” You almost shouted. You looked around to see if anyone heard you yell. No one seemed bothered.
Bucky huffed at a laugh at your reaction.
And then, he explained. He told you how it was Dot that broke up with him after taking a whiff of how Bucky was feeling about you. How she figured out that his heart was beating faster when you were around and how his eyes would linger a bit longer to your frame. Initially, she was mad. She accused him of tugging her along only to make you jealous. Bucky told her that you had no idea about his feelings and that you had no interest in him anyway. He looked miserable and helpless as he confessed his love for you, which only made him feel like an asshole for jumping into a relationship with her when he was clearly in love with you. Dot told him that he was indeed an asshole but sympathized with him since she’d been in his shoes before. And then, it was over. Before leaving, Dot had given him an advice of finally growing some balls and coming clean to you instead of leading on other women. That had stung, but he knew Dot was right. However, he still couldn’t confess to you, as you kept going on dates that Wanda or Natasha would set you up. But he hadn’t been in a relationship since then. He couldn’t lead on other girls like Dot only to be pining after you.
You had to physically close your mouth from what Bucky had just confessed.
“Are you ready to order?” Dot cut you off.
You cleared your throat awkwardly, avoiding her gaze, as Bucky gave his order.
“And what can I do for you, Y/N?” Dot asked sweetly at you.
You felt your cheeks flush as you tried to quickly scan the menu. With all the things Bucky had been telling you, you completely forgot to actually look through the menu.
“Um,” you tried to stall but then you just gave up, “can you bring me your favorite?” You looked at her shyly.
“Sure.” She smiled wide as she took the menus. “I’ll be right back.”
“You don’t have to feel awkward about it. You didn’t do anything bad. I was the jerk in the situation.” Bucky said.
“Too late for that.” You whispered.
The night was flowing perfectly. You were talking, laughing, eating and drinking wine under the stars while the lights of the city were illuminating.
“This is perfect.” You were looking out in the city.
“You’re perfect.” Bucky replied as he was looking at you.
You smirked as you turned around to look at him. “Now, you’re being cheesy.” You teased.
Bucky chuckled. “That’s fine by me. I always wanted to be that guy.”
“But you never were?” You arched an eyebrow.
Bucky shook his head. “Never found the right person to be cheesy with.”
You laughed as you sipped your wine. You were sitting in a silence for a moment, just admiring the view. The silence was almost comforting as you were soaking up the moment – the city, the wine, and Bucky’s eyes on you.
“The results haven’t come out yet?” Bucky asked breaking the silence – his face more serious now.
You tensed. “Not yet.”
It had been a week since you had fainted at Tony’s house. When you had finally regained your senses, you were met with Bucky’s worried eyes. You were confused for a second as Bucky was whispering ‘thank God’ – his hand clutching yours tightly. In the background, you could hear Tony yelling on his phone and you knew he was probably talking to one of the doctors of the team he had grouped. The very same day, you were taken to a lab where several people with white robes were running tests for you. You hardly understood what was happening, but by the time it was over, you knew you never wanted to do that again. You felt like an experiment.
“Stop being a baby.” Tony had commented rolling his eyes. You glared at him when you said that you didn’t want to feel like you were an experiment. “You fainted, Y/N. Do you know how scared we all were when Barnes walked in with you limp in his arms?”
Bucky was by your side the whole time, staring daggers into Tony. “Give her some time, Stark.” He said and Tony just agreed, leaving you two alone.
“I hate it.” You had admitted. ‘I’d rather just-‘ your throat was tight.
“Don’t even say it, Y/N.” Bucky cut you off.
The rest of the day you decided to stop mopping around. You had to keep living. You were determined to do so. So, you just put everything aside.
“Please, Bucky,” you sighed, “let’s just not talk about this.”
Bucky just nodded. He reached for your hand over the table and squeezed it.
You smiled at him.
The night continued.
You were standing in front of the building of the apartment that you and Wanda shared. Bucky was holding your hands and you felt your cheeks heat up from both the cold and the way Bucky was staring at you.
“Did you like it?” Bucky smiled. His thumbs were rubbing circles soothingly on top of your hands.
“No.” You shook your head. Bucky’s eyes panicked as his fingers stopped moving on your hands. “I loved it, Bucky.” You said and he chuckled.
“You almost scared me there, doll.”
“You should be scared, Barnes.” You pointed one finger on his chest poking him. “You stepped up the game so much from the first date that I don’t know if you’d be able to keep up next time.” You smirked.
“Oh,” his hands were now on your waist pulling you closer to him, “so there’s going to be a second date. That’s a relief.”
You blushed. “Asshole.”
Bucky laughed and you felt the vibrations coming from his chest. His hands moved to cup your face as you were both gazing into each other’s eyes. Before you could even think about how close you two were, he leaned in and kissed you. Deeply. His lips moved in perfect sync with yours and for a second you forgot everything. You forgot about you dying, your surroundings, your life, everything.
When you pulled apart, you felt drunk. Not from the wine that you had been drinking, but from the way his lips tasted.
Bucky was smiling at you as your lips turned upwards as well. “I don’t want to let you go.” He whispered.
You chuckled. “I have to go to sleep. Tomorrow I have work. Holidays are over.”
Bucky pouted. “Can’t you just come over at mine’s? I’m lonely.”
“You have Steve.” You pointed and he rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he’s a great cuddle buddy. Wanda is always gushing about it.”
Bucky groaned but smiled playfully. “I’m not into Steve that way, Y/N.”
“Well,” you took a few steps away from him, “you’ll have to wait for next time, Bucky.” You winked.
He made grabby hands but you were at the door. “Goodnight, Bucky.”
Bucky smiled at you. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
When you went back into the house, you couldn’t stop smiling.
That night you slept like there was no care in the world.
The results of the tests had been the same they had been when Dr. Banner had ran them back into the hospital. You tried to stay neutral – you had to remind yourself that this was not going to work and you were only doing it so the rest of them would be happier.
Their disappointment was written on their faces when you had told them, but they tried not to show it for your sake. It pained you how much it pained them.
It had been two weeks since your date with Bucky. You were trying to navigate into being a couple and honestly, so far, it was going very well. The next day Bucky turned up into your work after you were done and drove both of you for a light dinner. He would do this every day. He’d brought you flowers; he’d compliment you shamelessly and hold your hand.
Everyone was gushing about how you had become the gross couple of the bunch.
“I thought no one could surpass Steve and Wanda but you learn as you grow.” Sam had joked earning hard glares from Wanda and Steve.
“We only do that to steal the crown from Steve and Wanda.” You smiled innocently as Wanda poked her tongue out at you.
“And also to annoy Sam.” Bucky added.
Sam just shook his head. “I hate you.” He said playfully.
You were at the bar you all frequented every Friday night. It was a ritual that you all followed and no one was allowed to miss it unless there was a death-life matter.
You were sipping on your margarita while Bucky was nursing a beer – his arm was slung over your shoulder.
“So, Y/N,” Steve asked, “how are the lessons with Natasha going?”
You gave Wanda a glare for telling Steve. “Sorry…” Wanda chocked.
“What lessons?” Bucky furrowed his brows looking at you.
“What kind of lessons can Natasha be giving you?” Tony snorted as the redhead pierced through his with her green eyes.
“You’re losing your sense of humor, Stark.” Natasha mused.
“I’m out of shape, that’s true.” Tony flashed her one of his grins.
“Ok, can we get back to the real issue here?” Sam interrupted the feud between Natasha and Tony.
“Yes,” Thor took a swing of his beer. It was the third one and you hadn’t been there for long. “What lessons are you doing with lovely Natasha?” Natasha gave him a grin. He was always playing safe.
“Why don’t you all mind your business? Y/N and I have our own fun time.” Natasha winked. “So, don’t pry or else I’ll have to kick some ass.” She said seriously.
“But Steve and Wanda know.” Thor pointed.
Steve shook his head. “I only know they are doing lessons. I have no idea what for.”
Everyone shifted their gaze to Wanda. “Don’t look at me. I don’t know either. Natasha comes home for these lessons when I’m at work. Restaurants have a tight schedule. I’m not home until late at night.”
Then everyone looked at you expectantly along with Bucky.
“I stand with Natasha. You don’t want to mess with the Russian.” You held your hands in the air innocently.
“We’ll find out, Y/N.” Sam narrowed his eyes.
You just arched your eyebrows challenging.
“Here are your drinks.” The waiter, Clint, said as he handed everyone the next round of drinks.
“Thanks, Clint.” Natasha smiled at him and he returned the gesture.
Clint was the owner of the bar. He liked to be around and help with the business even if it was waiting tables, chatting with customers or even offering his advice to drunkards.
Natasha knew Clint from university and that was one of the reasons this place had become your sanctuary. It was a nice meeting place with a chill vibe that was exactly what you all needed for a Friday night after a week of work. Tony had seemed out of place the first time he walked in with his expensive suit and shoes, but he quickly ditched that for his band T-shirts and the pair of sneakers you had bought him for his birthday.
Clint would sometimes hang out with you on days where things were slower, so he was practically a member of your group even though he had a more stable life than any of you. Clint was married and had a daughter.
The night kept flowing, everyone was half-drunk or at least tipsy at this point. You were laying your head on Bucky’s chest, the alcohol making your eyelids droopy.
“You sleepy there, doll?” Bucky smiled down at you.
“Just a tad.” You replied trying to swallow your yawn.
Bucky placed a kiss on top of your head and at that instant, just that simple touch that he had done so many times ever since you two got together – hell, he’d even done that when you were just friends – was when realization hit you.
“Я люблю тебя.” You whispered with your eyes half-closed.
You felt Bucky tense and you bit your lip worried. You detached yourself from him to look at him. He was looking at you shocked. You felt yourself panicking, but before you could say anything, Bucky touched your face, leaned in and kissed you.
“Я тоже тебя люблю.” He murmured into your lips.
Your eyes widened as Bucky smirked at you. “You know-“ you hesitated still shocked.
“Russian?” He cocked an eyebrow. You nodded. “Of course I do. I thought Nat would tell you.”
“I see.” He breathed. “So, that’s what the lessons are for?”
“Yes.” You admitted. “I just wanted to start something new. Learn something new. I guess I had to come this close to actually care about more things.” You shrugged. “I wanted that knowledge even if I know it’ll die with me sooner than I actually use it.”
One day during your lunch break while you were browsing through the internet, an ad about online lessons popped up. It was about languages. You had been contemplating it for a while, and then you decided to actually go for it. You had nothing to lose. You actually wanted to start trying new things – things that you wouldn’t have started if you didn’t have the time weighing in you. That’s the thing about humans – they think they have an infinite amount of time so they put things off until they haven’t anymore. You were no exception. But now, you were going to do whatever you wanted to but never dared to do.
So when you asked Natasha to help you, she was more than willing to do so. Although the rest of them wouldn’t really believe this, Natasha was actually a really good teacher. She was patient while you were struggling to even learn how to say the basic words. You’d watched at how effortlessly the words were rolling off her tongue and you couldn’t help but wonder how you never really noticed how different she sounded when she spoke Russian. How much time had you wasted not listening to her speak this language? A language that was so strange to you, yet so beautiful. Natasha’s green eyes were twinkling with joy while she spoke in Russian, admitting to not having had the chance to speak it here as often as she’d like. She almost looked nostalgic talking about it. Natasha had told you that you gave her a great opportunity to feel a little closer at home with these lessons – thanking you about it. The thing was though that you should be thanking her. Thanking her for giving you a chance to know her even better. It’s funny that sometimes we think we know the people around us – that because we know them for years, we know everything about them. Sometimes, we see but we don’t really notice, even when it’s in front of us. Natasha appeared tough and strong, but God knows, she was as soft as butter.
Bucky smiled sadly at you; his hands cupped your face. “Knowledge never dies doll. You should know that.” He pecked your lips. “Besides, you can keep talking to me in Russian all you want. It’s kinda hot.” He breathed.
“Really now?” You smirked.
“Really.” He chuckled low. “I can be your teacher if you want.”
You hummed. “What if I’m a bad student?”
“Then all the better for me.” He crushed his lips on yours and kissed.
You were lost into the kiss that you hadn’t realized you were still in the bar surrounded by everyone.
“Oh, come on, now.” Sam groaned. “You’re definitely worse than Steve and Wanda.”
“Hey, Barnes, get your hands off my little sister.” Tony threatened.
You broke the kiss.
“You guys are real cock blockers.” Bucky whined.
You laughed as you were still in Bucky’s arms.
As the night spilled over into the city, you took a moment to cherish what you had in front of you. Your friends, relaxed, laughing and joking around – being alive and happy and healthy. Their smiles, the sound of their laugh – everything about them. This night was not about hospitals and doctors and tests and death. It was about life. About drinks and laughs and friends.
Because before death, there’s always life.
And you were going to milk every single drop of it.
And just like that – January had slipped away.
ok i know you’re a big fan of college!aus… so what about a college!bucky with the prompt academic rivals 👀
a/n: sneak peek of my new series perhaps?? 👀
the library exchange | bucky barnes
"Barnes," you said with fake politeness, a not so subtle way of telling him to fuck off without saying the words, knowing Rowena was prowling the halls of the House's library somewhere, and knowing she would go directly to Hill if you and Bucky went at it again.
"I was just wondering what you got on Huffman's latest exam," his smirk told you that he thought he had beat you out this time, and, sure enough, he dropped his paper on your table with a crisp red 100 at the top.
You smiled wide, reaching into your bag and sliding it towards him. A crisp red 105.
His eyes widened for a fraction of second, just long enough for you to see his genuine surprise, before his brow furrowed.
"Did the extra credit you missed for the Amdis' party last week," you said sweetly, packing up your things. You patted his cheek as you passed him, heading out of the library. "Better luck next time, Barnes."
someone’s calling my name (and it sounds like you)
BUCKY BARNES X FEM!READER
summary: after a mission gone wrong, bucky finds himself on the brink of unconsciousness and then you show up which causes him to reveal his true feelings
warnings: hurt!bucky, sad!reader, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, description of injuries, whump-ish, pining, confessions, typical self-deprecating bucky behaviour
- - -
“Why isn’t the serum working!?” you scream, pressing onto Bucky’s wound as hard as you can.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
It was Bucky’s last day on his week-long mission. He was supposed to enter the abandoned bunker to scope for any remaining files on biohazardous weapons that the enemy might still have laying around to make sure they don’t fall into the wrong hands.
But when you and Nat went to pick him up at the rendezvous spot, he was perched against a tree—bloodied and limp. He couldn’t even make it into the cabin that was only a few feet away.
And when you ran over, the sight of him made your stomach drop.
“The wounds are too deep. The serum can’t heal the tissues in time,” Nat yells from the cockpit of the Quinjet. “He needs medical attention. I’ve already contacted Tony to have the team ready.”
Bucky squirms underneath you, eyes still closed as painful grunts escape his lips.
You curse and fight back tears, hands turning more and more crimson each minute. “Nat,” you whimper, “please fly faster.”
“I’m trying my best,” she replies.
You rip a piece of cloth nearby and try your best to bandage his abdomen as tight as possible to slow the bleeding. He lets out a loud agonizing noise this time, one that raises every single hair on your body.
“It’s going to be alright, okay? We’re almost at the Compound,” you assure.
“Got ambushed,” he manages to say through the pain.
You had a feeling he did. “I know.” You bring one of your hands to squeeze his, “How are you feeling?”
There’s a nasty bruise forming around his eye, a busted lip, ghastly cuts splitting the leather of his stealth suit and most notably, the bullet wound in his abdomen that’s causing most of the blood loss. You can already tell by the look on his face that he’s in so much pain—which says a lot since he’s enhanced—so it’s a redundant question, really. But anything to keep his stream of consciousness going.
“Hurts,” he groans. “How bad is it?”
“Nothing that can’t be fixed,” you say, being as optimistic as possible. “Can you open your eyes for me?”
The slow and gentle fluttering of his lashes reminds you of the first snow.
You take a deep breath before mustering a smile. “Hey Bucky.”
Bucky stares for a while. Then your name comes out as a quiet whisper, so delicate that you almost miss it due to your loud distressed heartbeat.
“Yes,” you nod, “it’s me. I’m here.”
In truth, you weren’t supposed to be here. Nat was the one assigned to pick Bucky up but ever since you woke up today, an eerie bad feeling surrounded and loomed over you like a dark cloud. It just felt like something wasn’t right—an anxious feeling growing stronger and stronger each passing minute. And when you saw Nat at breakfast, the words, “Let me come with you,” came out of your mouth before you could even stop it.
“I came with Nat,” you answer, voice quivering when you’re reminded of your intuition. I knew it.
“No. You can’t be her,” he says, “you can’t.”
“What do you mean?” you question while pushing the hairs from his forehead. You turn his head to check for any signs of a concussion. “I’m right here.”
“You can’t…” he continues to persist. “She wouldn’t come all the way for me.”
“Bucky, what are you saying? What do you mean she wouldn’t come all the way for you?”
“I’m not worth her time,” he mumbles.
You freeze, finally understanding the situation. He doesn’t believe you’re actually here. He thinks you aren’t real, that you are someone else. “Bucky, I— ”
He cuts you off, “There’s nothing I can offer her. Why would she care for me?”
After Hydra and all the shit he’s been through, he never thought he would be able to feel the normal emotions an average person would feel ever again. Then he got formally introduced to the team after deciding he was finally ready to join the Avengers and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of you—a feeling he hadn’t experienced since what felt like forever. And when he finally got to know you, Bucky never felt so alive. The interactions during team missions and exchanges around the Tower had Bucky falling hopelessly in love with you.
He clears his throat and a tender smile appears. “She’s so special. Has this amazing smile and cutest laugh. She also has the kindest heart but always kicks ass when she needs to,” he says.
Bucky never thought he would love again until you. But he knows the feeling will never be reciprocated. Friendship was one thing, but devoting yourself to someone was something else entirely. And who would want to be with someone as messed up as him?
His smile slowly turns into a frown. “But I’m just… me and there’s nothing I could offer her. There’s nothing to love.”
Your lips tremble at his words, too distraught to even notice the tear sliding down your face.
How can he talk about himself like this? Doesn’t he know that there is so much to admire and cherish? Sometimes, you even think you need a bigger heart, perhaps even two, in order to fit all the love you have for him.
That amazing smile he mentioned was only evident because of him. The smile that only appears when he’s around. Like when he offers to stay with you to clean up the training room. Or when he chooses the spot next to you during movie night.
That cute laugh he mentioned was most of his doing—like whenever he tells dad jokes that don't really make any sense until he explains it, only for you to laugh harder when you finally do. Or when Tony gets angry at you winning ‘Avengers Game Night’ three times in a row and you laugh because Bucky helped you cheat, again.
And that kind heart he mentioned was because Bucky made you want to become a better person. But like he said, you could kick ass too, and you promise you would find and hunt down every single person that laid a hand on him.
You and Bucky never got past anything but the occasional teasing. And you never tried anything further, fearing rejection. But you were okay with just him being there. It didn’t matter if he was beside you, next to you or in front of you—if he was there, you were happy.
So how can he say he had nothing to offer you when his mere presence was enough?
You meet his eyes, both yours and his glistening with each other’s reflection. “You’re wrong.”
Bucky repeats your words in his head. You’re wrong.
Maybe he is wrong. Maybe he’s more than just an ex-brainwashed-assassin. Maybe he’s actually worthy of your love. And maybe you really are in front of him. It’s hard to tell. It feels like he’s in the Austrian Alps again—on the brink between life and death. But unlike the last time, there’s someone with him who’s holding his hand and guiding him through everything. Someone who looks breathtakingly like you. Must be an angel, he thinks.
“Bucky, you’re wrong,” you repeat. “There’s so much to love about you.” There’s so much I love about you.
“What does she think?”
He keeps referring to you in third-person, still not believing you're actually here and it breaks your heart a little.
You sniffle. “I think she feels the same. I’m sure she can go on and on about what she likes about you.”
“When I was escaping, all I could think about was her.”
You let out a shaky breath at his comment because all you could think about was him on the way here.
“I was… I was scared that I might not ever see her again. There’s still something I have to tell her, but whenever I try, it can’t come out.”
“And what is it that you want to tell her?”
He gulps. “That I love her.”
You let out a small cry and hold onto his hand even tighter, hoping he’ll understand.
He recoils and takes a sharp inhale as another shot of pain runs through him. It’s getting hard to talk but there’s still one question he needs to ask who he assumes is his guardian angel. “Do you think she could’ve loved me?”
His words finally break you. “I think…” you choke out, struggling to wipe the tears running relentlessly down your face, “I think she could’ve loved you.”
His eyes are slowly starting to flutter shut from exhaustion. “You think so?”
You nod and try your best to hold back your half smothered sobs. “In fact, she does love you. But she’s just too scared to tell you and it’s been gnawing at her forever,” you cry out, cradling his face with your free hand.
Your hand is caked with his blood and right there and then, you notice how human he looks. Despite having the super soldier serum flowing through his veins, he’s not invincible. He’s human. He can get hurt. He had fears. He could succumb to injuries. For a moment, you think about a life without someone like Bucky Barnes in it. You don’t think you would be able to smile again.
“She loves you too, Bucky. So don’t talk like you’re never going to see her again. Because you need to survive this so the both of you can tell each other everything.”
Survive this. He can do that, he thinks. His lovely angel is telling him that you love him. He needs to survive this and get back—back to you.
He closes his eyes and gives a weak smile, trying his best to fight off the unconsciousness that’s threatening to take over.
“Landing in two minutes!” Nat shouts.
When the Quinjet hits the ground, numerous medics come and place Bucky onto a stretcher. And as they push him to the medical bay, you hold his hand the whole way.
When you reach the entrance to the surgery room, Dr. Cho stops you for a second. “I’m sorry but you can’t enter beyond this point,” she tells you with apologetic eyes.
You nod, but before you go, “Hey, Bucky,” you quip, hoping somehow he’ll hear you. “You’re almost there. Don’t give up, okay?”
You take one last look at him before lifting his hand. “She’ll be there when you wake up,” you mutter, pressing your lips against his bruised knuckles.
And in the silence, a small whisper of “You promise?” escapes his lips and you hook your pinky with his before they wheel him into the surgery room.
Hours later, Dr. Cho finally comes out and you let out the loudest breath of relief when she says he’s stable, giving you the thumbs up to visit him.
The rest of the team joins, but you’re the one who opts to stay. Nat gives you a comforting pat on the back before you are finally left alone on the couch, the beeping of the monitor joining your saturnine sighs.
When he finally wakes, he squeezes your hand that was intertwined with his all night. You’re here, Bucky whispers to himself.
Your eyes flutter open, face brightening at the sight of him. “You’re awake.”
Bucky looks at you and panic arises at the sight of your blood-soaked shirt. But he slowly starts to remember what happened. He realizes that it was real after all. You really were there. You came for him and you stayed. And perhaps, maybe somewhere deep within him, he knew it was real all along, real enough to get him through.
“I have to tell you something,” the both of you blurt out in unison, wasting no time because life’s too precious to wait.
You both let out a small chuckle. You already know what he’s going to say—his confession is still clear in your mind. And he knows what you’re going to say, he vaguely remembers you saying the words he always wanted to hear.
“You need to rest,” you insist. “Let me… let me go first,” you say nervously.
You start from the beginning, from the moment you woke up to when he got wheeled into the operation room. And you weren’t joking when you said you could go on and on about what you like about him—you think you spent an entire hour telling him. Somewhere in-between, he wipes your tears away. You tell him your feelings and he blushes and beams at you as if he didn’t just go through a near-death experience hours ago.
“… Next time, I’m going with you on every single mission.”
“You’re not going to get sick of me?”
“I think I should be the one asking you that.”
“Impossible,” he says in certainty.
Bucky could never get sick of you. Bucky wants you there, every moment, everyday. Just like how you stayed with him through everything, not once letting go of his hand, he’s going to stick by you too, no matter what happens.
After All This Time | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hello! Who wants to have their feelings hurt?! 🙋🏻♀️ I love some good angst, some pain, some emotional turmoil.
Warnings: relationship drama, references to violence, arguments, crying, ex!Bucky
“What are you doing here?” You stared at Bucky, shocked. Perplexed. He had no business at your apartment. Especially not so late at night. Especially not after what he’d done. The way he’d treated you. It took a long time- too long- to achieve some sense of normalcy after things fell apart. After he broke your heart. You weren’t over him; you feared you never would be. But you finally arrived at something that resembled stability. You were nearly okay- nearly.
But Bucky’s unexpected presence took you out at the knees. Was he always this beautiful? Or did you just miss him? His hair was a bit longer, his stubble a little scruffier. His deep blue eyes softened at the sight of you. No, he was always this beautiful. Dammit.
His expression was stern. Serious. Just like it had been when he left. He’d promised you he’d never come back. “Can I come in?” He was a liar, apparently.
Bucky breezed past you anyway.
You crossed your arms over your chest, hiding the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra. Your arms hugged your body, crisscrossing over your old college shirt. Thank god you hadn’t opted to wear one of the many henleys he’d left behind. The humiliation of him seeing you in one of his old shirts would’ve been too much. You knew you shouldn’t wear them anymore, but you couldn’t help it. Couldn’t stop yourself from cloaking your body in the comfort they provided. It was sad, maybe even a little pathetic. But you didn’t know how to stop.
“Hey- You can’t just barge into my apartment-”
“Shut the door.”
You stared at him, incredulous. “No. What do you- get out.”
Bucky closed and locked the door for you. His fingers twisted the key in the deadbolt and fastened the chain. He even pulled on the door once- then twice. It was secure. He positioned his body in front of it- either blocking your way out or someone else’s way in. You weren’t sure which.
“Go pack a bag. We’re leaving here in five minutes.” He checked his watch, “Sooner, if you can manage it.” He looked up from his wrist and finally let himself drink you in. Were you always this breathtaking? Or was he just happy to see you? Your skin glowed in the yellow light of your reading lamp. Your hair was shorter now- he liked it. Yeah, you were always this intoxicating. Bucky wondered how he could even question it.
“Are you out of your mind? We’re not going anywhere.” Anger was easier. Easier than sadness, than heartbreak. You let wrath wrap itself around your heart, shielding you from the pain. Bucky didn’t belong in your home anymore, no matter how badly you wished he did. He didn’t want to be here- he didn’t want you. He’d made that painfully clear.
And though part of you liked seeing him here, existing in the home you once shared, you knew it would only serve to hurt you. Your voice was quieter this time, less confident, “You need to leave.”
He let out a huff, as though he had the right to be annoyed with you. “Just trust me on this,”,
“Trust you? That’s hilarious-”
“You’re not safe here,” he said. His tone was firm, irrefutable. “Someone attacked Pepper and Morgan. Clint’s wife, Laura, and their kids. Murdock’s associate- that guy Nelson.”
A burst of worry shot through you, “Shit. Are they okay?”
“They’re fine. They’ve all been relocated.” He wondered how you could worry about others while bypassing any concern for yourself. But the distress on your face was real; you’d gotten close with the families of the team before Bucky left. They welcomed you like one of their own, and your care for them survived even after things with Bucky died.
“Sam is taking his sister and her kids somewhere- everyone’s moving their loved ones.”
Silence. You waited for Bucky to elaborate. He waited for you to put the pieces together.
“So… why are you here? What does any of that have to do with me?”
“Hydra. They’re coming after our lov-” Bucky cleared his throat, “the people in our lives.”
You shook your head, “Yeah, I get that. But I’m not in your life.”
Bucky knew you weren’t his anymore, but hearing you say it cut him to the bone.
The strong façade you wore threatened to crumble. This was too much for you- almost cruel. Back when things were good, they were really good. You planned on staying with Bucky forever. You saw yourself marrying him, spending the rest of your days together. He’d had other plans. He left you. And never looked back.
“I’m fine here,” you told him. “I don’t need you.”
Bucky struggled for words. This was harder than he thought. “Well… they- they don’t know that we...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Hydra, I mean, they don’t know what um, what happened. We were pretty public- they might think we’re still together. So, I need to get you to a safe house. Just in case.”
“Why?” The question hung heavy in the air.
Bucky didn’t say a word.
“Since when do you care? Don’t act like I matter to you all of a sudden- don’t pretend that you’re worried about me.” You forced every ounce of emotion behind an impenetrable wall, “leave. I’m serious, I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“You’re in danger. And I…” He ran a hand through his hair “Just come with me. Let me protect you.”
“I’m not yours to protect.” The stinging sensation of approaching tears burned behind your eyes. “So… you can go.”
Your words gutted him. He hadn’t felt this much pain since he left, since the last time he saw you. He’d left you alone in the apartment you once shared. He’d shut the door and stood on the other side, unable to walk away. His forehead rested against the wood, and he listened to you. The sound of you sobbing- wailing- drove stakes into his chest. But he knew it was better this way.
“Yeah, I know that…” he said, his voice softer now. “But your family, your friends- they’ll be devastated if something happens to you. Don’t do that to them. Come with me. And when this blows over, I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”
You hated that he was right. To let your pride endanger your life was selfish, stupid. You could practically hear your mom telling you to go with him.
But there was a side of you would rather die at the hands of Hydra than share a safe house with Bucky. Sure, you missed him. A lot. You wished he’d never walked out that door. But spending days- or weeks- with him? Just the two of you? In a secluded location? It would tear you to pieces.
You grumbled under your breath, “fine. How long will we be gone?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, then- where are we going?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know. Coordinates will be sent to the jet once we board.”
“Okay, great. Perfect. I don’t know how much to pack. I don’t know what kind of clothes I need. Awesome. Thanks, James.” You turned on your heel and headed toward your bedroom, “I’ll be out in a minute.”
James. James. You’d never called him James. Ever. Not even in a joking sense. He was always Bucky or Buck or Barnes or baby- depending on the context. Never James. It was so impersonal, you regarding him by his government name. So cold. Distant. He knew he deserved it- deserved way worse. But it stung, nonetheless.
With you busy in the other room, Bucky drank in the warmth of your apartment. It was inviting, cozy. Just like always. You’d gotten a few new pieces of art since he left; they took up the spaces left empty by the photos you removed. The picture of the two of you from a Stark gala. A strip of the two of you laughing in a photo booth at the pier. A polaroid of him kissing your cheek at Sam’s birthday party. He wondered what you did with them. Did you still have them- somewhere? Did you hide them away in a dusty box under the bed he used to share with you?
Or did you burn them?
He missed living there. Missed waking up next to you, missed making dinner for you. Missed you.
“Hey, I’m sorry to call so late…” you said into your phone, cradling it between your ear and your shoulder. “I’m gonna have to work from, um- I have to leave town for a little while.”
Bucky heard you on the phone with your boss, doing your best to lie your way through the situation. But you didn’t give much detail, just like he’d taught you when you first started dating. He told you never to trust anyone fully- never to believe that someone is worthy of every secret. He’d been speaking about outsiders. But when he left, he proved to you that no one deserved your trust. Not even him.
“Yeah, just family stuff,” he heard you say. “My cousin has been sick and took a turn for the worst, so… I need to be there just in case.”
He was so proud.
You stuffed clothes into a bag and rounded up the necessary toiletries. Your laptop, headphones, and a few books made the cut, and you grabbed the bag’s zipper, prepared to give it a final yank. But as you tried to close it up, a piece of fabric caught your eye. You let out a deep sigh. You’d moved on instinct, grabbing things from your closet and dresser without thinking. And some of Bucky’s old clothes had found their way among your items.
A flannel, two henleys, and a sweatshirt sat nestled at the bottom of your bag. They were some of your favorite things to wear- soft, comfortable, cozy. But you couldn’t bring them with you. Not when there was a chance Bucky would see them. You quickly swapped them out with pieces that didn’t belong to him and thanked the universe you’d noticed before it was too late.
When you emerged moments later with duffel bag in hand, Bucky was waiting for you. He hadn’t moved from his spot by the door. Hadn’t taken off his jacket. He wasn’t welcome here anymore. And making himself at home wasn’t right.
“Uh, here’s this,” he outstretched a hand in your direction and offered you a phone. “We can’t be sure that your phone isn’t being tracked. So, you have to leave yours here. This is a burner- just for emergencies.”
You dropped your phone on the counter with a dramatic groan and took the burner from his hand. Not only were you to be trapped for an indeterminant amount of time with the man who ripped your heart out of your chest and eviscerated it in front of your eyes- but you also had to give up your phone. “This feels like a kidnapping.”
“Yeah. Sorry.” He made a move for your bag, “I can take that for you-”
“I got it”.
With a nod, he opened the door and checked the hall for potential dangers. And when he deemed it safe, he gestured for you to join him. He watched you lock the door- and smiled to himself when he realized you still used the same key. You never changed the locks after he left.
“This is the most conspicuous thing I’ve ever seen…” A jet sat on the roof of your building, just a few feet from the stairwell. “If Hydra didn’t know where I was before, they definitely do now.”
Bucky gave an awkward laugh, paired with a quiet “yeah”, and tried to help you board. But you shied away from any attempts as assistance. You needed to prove to Bucky that you didn’t need him anymore- no matter how untrue it was.
The flight was awkward. Quiet. Tense. You couldn’t escape to the back of the jet and hide from Bucky- there was no ‘back’. It was a small aircraft. Only enough room for two. It forced you to sit next to him, watching clouds paint with windows with their condensation as the jet sliced through the sky.
“So…” Bucky said after a while, “how’ve you been?”
You quieted him with a look.
The answer to his question was complicated- you didn‘t have the emotional energy to explain. Diving into how angry and miserable and lonely you’d been since his departure would take hours. Maybe days. And he didn’t deserve the inside scoop. He wasn’t welcome to your secrets or the inner workings of your mind- not anymore.
“We’re here…” Bucky said, his voice pulling you from your light sleep. You didn’t realize you’d nodded off. But sleep was the only escape from the painfully awkward situation he’d put you in.
“Okay, so…” Bucky opened the door to the house and gestured for you to enter before him. Still such a gentleman. “I know this place is kinda small. But I’m gonna do my best to not be in your space.” He flipped on a few lights and bathed the house in a warm yellow light. “They promised that the kitchen is stocked. I think there’s firewood somewhere in case we get cold. And there should be clean sheets and towels and stuff in a closet somewhere. As for the, um…” He cleared his throat, “the sleeping arrangements. There’s only one bedroom, so it’s yours- I’m gonna take the couch.”
He threw his bag over the back of the couch and watched it bounce against the cushions. “Let me know if you need anything.”
What you needed, he couldn’t give you. He couldn’t go back in time and reverse the effects of breaking your heart. He couldn’t rid you of the agony brought on by his absence. And so, with a curt nod, you bid him goodnight.
It was nearly three in the morning by the time you made the bed and crawled beneath the covers. You curled into a ball and pulled the blankets up over your head, as though protecting yourself. This had to be a joke. A prank. The wound Bucky’s departure caused had barely scabbed over- and his return flayed it wide open. It throbbed and ached as you cried under the safety of your blankets. You didn’t know what you’d done in a past life to deserve hurt like this.
Bucky collapsed onto the couch. He slumped forward and rested his head in his hands, replaying every moment since you opened the door. The look on your face when you saw him again, the disdain in your voice, the distrust you held for him- it made his chest ache. He hated himself for throwing away the best thing he’d ever had. For hurting you. For breaking the trust you’d built together.
He didn’t sleep that night- the pain didn’t let him. He, instead, remained awake. Wired. He cleaned his guns. Double and triple checked his supply of ammo. He made sure every window was locked, every door secure. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.
The following day passed slowly. Bucky made enough breakfast for both of you, and kept your portion warm while he did the dishes and waited for you to wake. But you never joined him. You remained holed up in your room, miserable.
You didn’t care about Hydra; they couldn’t hurt you more than Bucky already had. Sure, they could beat you senseless and bleed you dry. They could torture you and hold you hostage. But it simply couldn’t compare. Physical injuries heal. They scab over and turn to scars. But the pain Bucky caused never ceased. The wound bled day and night. His mark on you could never be fixed.
Only when your hunger pangs grew painful did you leave the safety of your room.
“Hey, I made breakfast…” Bucky said when you finally emerged, “I tried to keep yours warm but- it’s in the fridge if you want it. I know it’s well past breakfast time and you probably don’t want cold spinach scramble and hashbrowns, but-”
He was being so nice; he still remembered your favorite breakfast. You thought back on all the Sunday mornings you’d spent together, making breakfast and listening to music. Drinking coffee. Dancing in the kitchen until the food almost burned. But you banished the memories. And sent away the warm feelings brought on by Bucky cooking for you again.
You didn’t make eye contact, didn’t thank him. Instead, you rummaged through the cabinets until you found a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. “I’ll make something for myself,” you told him.
“Oh- okay, yeah. Knives are in the drawer to your left.” Bucky felt himself hovering. He stood across the kitchen island from you like an expectant child hoping for the approval of a stern parent. He knew he’d never get it, didn’t deserve it. But he couldn’t help himself. Being so close to you felt good. Really good. And though he’d promised he wouldn’t invade your space, he found it impossible to walk away.
You, however, couldn’t get away fast enough. You hastily made a sandwich and grabbed a glass of water before retreating to you room, safe from Bucky’s gaze. With the door shut, you allowed yourself to sink down to the floor. A gnawing sense of soul-crushing sadness eclipsed any feelings of hunger. But you forced the sandwich down anyway. You swore to yourself that everything would be okay, that you’d go home soon enough and try once again to heal.
But you didn’t believe your own words.
Bucky hated how uncomfortable you were around him. It was his fault, and he knew it, but it made him sad all the same. At one time, he’d been the person you loved most. The person you cared for. The one you could trust. You knew, without a doubt, that you could go to him with anything. Any problem, any worry- no matter how small. And he’d find a way to make it better. And if he couldn’t fix it, he could at least make you smile. He could bring you comfort and make you feel safe. Loved. He was the only one you wanted. The only person for you. His soul and yours were forged in the same fire- just a few decades apart.
But that fire was dead- snuffed out. And Bucky no longer held the secret key to your heart. He brought you only anguish and anxiety. Torment. Agony. And he hated himself for it.
He wondered if you’d spent all your time hiding in that bedroom. He wouldn’t blame you if you did. You weren’t happy around him like you used to be- why would you subject yourself to such unpleasant feelings unless it were absolutely necessary? He resolved to give you as much space as possible, to leave the room when you made your way to the kitchen. To not hover. Anything to make you more comfortable.
And if that meant that he didn’t get to speak to you for the remainder of your time in hiding, then so be it.
That night, however, he got to speak to you again.
He didn’t rest the night of your arrival, not even for a moment. And it finally got to him. He turned in early, falling asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace. The last few embers glowed orange beneath the charred wood, but all warmth was gone. His sleeping form tossed and turned beneath a thin blanket. Droplets of sweat bloomed from his skin as heaving breaths forced their way into his chest.
A familiar sound woke you in the middle of the night. You hadn’t heard it in quite some time, but knew you’d never forget it. Bucky was having a nightmare. And before you had a moment to rethink your actions, you were up. You ditched your bedding and fled in the direction of his screams.
And he woke to the soft sound of your voice.
“Bucky, hey…” you placed your hands on his shoulders. “Hey, wake up. Bucky-”
His eyes flew open and quickly focused on your face. And though your presence brought a relief he hadn’t experienced in what felt like years, it was too late. His heart hammered against his ribs; his lungs burned. He couldn’t breathe.
“You’re okay. You’re alright. Here-” One of your hands migrated from his shoulder to his chest while the other searched for one of his. You dragged his hand upward and mirrored the placement, pressing his palm to your sternum. It was muscle memory, a deep-seeded reflex you didn’t know you still had. You used to do it every night- back when Bucky was still yours. He liked it. He said it made him feel like you were synching your heartbeat with his. And it always calmed him down.
Bucky let loose a deep sigh of relief. It seemed to come from somewhere else completely, like he’d been holding his breath since the last time he touched you. Your pulse beat strong and steady beneath his hand, thudding against his palm like his own personal metronome. And maybe it was all in his head, but he felt his own heartrate slow. He breathed easier. A smile pricked at the corners of his mouth.
But you pulled away all too soon.
Bucky sat up in pursuit of your recoiling hand, “Thank you…”
“Yeah.” You stood, hoping to make it back to your room before the tears began to fall. But Bucky’s words stopped you.
“I really- I really appreciate you waking me. And doing… that. For me.” He felt himself growing sheepish, but couldn’t let the encroaching embarrassment get the best of him. “I missed it- I missed you.”
Something in you snapped.
You turned toward him with a strange mixture of anger and pain burning behind your eyes, your breathing growing ever sharper.
“Why am I here?” Your tone was calm, measured. It was the kind of rage that turned your words to ice. To stone.
He cocked his head to the side, “um, because of Hydra. Because you’re in danger…”
“But why am I here?” You felt yourself losing control, “You heard they were going after the team’s loved ones and you thought to yourself, ‘hmm, that girl I completely destroyed, that girl whose life I ruined, that girl who I most certainly do not love, that girl I left for no reason, she’s in danger! Hydra will probably go after her, you know, since I haven’t seen her or spoken to her in almost a year!’”
Bucky didn’t know what to say.
“This makes no fucking sense, James!”
James. You’d let one or two ‘Buckys’ slip earlier- never again.
“Why did you come to my apartment? Why did you fucking kidnap me and bring me to this stupid house? Why did you put me on the same tier as Tony’s wife? As Clint’s wife? We aren’t together, I’m not in your life, and I’m certainly not a ‘loved one’- you made that painfully clear. Why did you-”
“Because I still love you”
You rolled your tear-filled eyes, “Don’t you fucking lie to me.”
“I’m not lying…” Bucky sighed. “I swear on my life.”
An ugly scoff broke free from your throat, “I’m supposed to believe that? You once ‘swore on your life’ that you’d never hurt me. And that shit clearly wasn’t true, so-”
“I swear on Steve’s life. I swear on his grave,” Bucky’s voice wavered ever so slightly. “I still love you. I never stopped.”
It rendered you speechless.
“I never wanted to hurt you. And I didn’t want to leave. But I didn’t know what else to do.”
You stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded. “You ‘didn’t know what else to do’? You left me because you ‘didn’t know what else to do’?”
Bucky shook his head. Regret pooled in his chest, and he wished to take back every stupid word. “That’s not what I meant-” he sighed. “I mean… I’m- I’m not meant for this. To be with someone. To be loved. Bad stuff- really bad stuff- follows me around. The war and the train and Hydra and Zemo and Thanos and the blip and the Flag Smashers and-”
He fought to catch his breath. “I break things. Anything I touch- it gets ruined.” He paused for a moment. Everything inside his head moved too fast. It blurred past him and fell from his lips before he had a chance to make edits. And if he was going to fix this, he needed to be in control.
“I never wanted to break you. Or put you in danger.”
“You never hurt me- physically…” you said. “You know I was never scared of you- I didn’t think I was ever in danger with you. I didn’t think you’d break me-”
“No, I know. I know.” Getting to that point had been hard for him. He shied away from you for so long, scared he’d somehow make you bleed or paint your skin with bruises. But you’d worked with him. You showed him patience and moved at his pace, working through the fear he held.
“What I mean is… I got scared because people knew about us. Our relationship was public. And I was afraid that putting you in the public eye like that would invite danger. A lot of people hate me- they want revenge. Retribution. So I thought…” he rolled his eyes at his past-self, at the version of him who let you get away. “I thought removing myself from your life would ensure your safety.” He shrugged, “no one would have reason to come after you if we weren’t together-”
“And look where we are now…” you said, “Hiding. In a safehouse. Because my life is in jeopardy.” Part of you- the soft side- wanted to show him mercy. To hold him and make him feel safe. To console him. But the side of you who wore brass knuckles and steel toed bootsa prevailed, “That was a really fucking stupid thing to do…”
Bucky gave a pained chuckle, “yeah, I- I know.” His cheeks reddened ever so slightly, and his shoulders slumped with shame. He knew he fucked up. “I’m sorry. About all of it. About leaving. About hurting you- God, I never wanted to hurt you.” The pain in his eyes could’ve made you crumble.
“And I’m sorry about putting you in harm’s way. About abducting you like this.” He took a small step in your direction; he couldn’t pretend like he wasn’t drawn to you. But he knew he had no right to exist in such close proximity to the person he hurt. And so he stopped himself, no matter how badly he wished he didn’t have to.
“But to answer your question with full honesty…” he said, “you’re here because I love you. Because I’ll always love you. And even though you hate my guts- which you absolutely should- I care about you. And I want to keep you safe, as safe as I can. I want to protect you.” He let out a sigh, “And I know you’re not… you’re not mine to protect, but-” The words tasted like vinegar. If Bucky thought hearing them hurt, he was wrong. Saying them was far worse. “you’re here because I would rather die than let anything happen to you.”
He didn’t like the way your shoulders were yanked up near your ears, the way your arms sat crossed over your chest- like you were trying to protect yourself. But he understood. He’d hurt you- badly. Left you gutted and bleeding. He knew you’d never trust another thing he said- rightfully so.
Silent tears flowed freely down your cheeks and dripped down your neck. The weight of Bucky’s words forced you to lean against the nearest wall. Everything your friends said about him, everything your family told you- it was wrong. He wasn’t apathetic. He wasn’t inconsiderate or manipulative. He was just misguided- maybe a little stupid.
“I told myself…” you finally said, “for months, I told myself that you never loved me. That you used me to make yourself feel better.”
Bucky vehemently shook his head, “that’s not-”
“What was I supposed to do? I needed something to make me feel better…” you said. “It was easier to think that you never loved me. But you left me because you loved me? That’s- that was a terrible idea, by the way.”
A fresh wave of tears cascaded from your eyes and left droplets on your shirt. “I want… I want to believe you. I want to believe every nice thing you just said and pick up right where we left off. But I’m…” You pulled the sleeves of your shirt over your hands and wiped the tears from your cheeks, “I’m scared- I’m scared to trust you again. To let my guard down.”
Bucky took another small step in your direction. “That’s fine, that’s… understandable- more than understandable. Smart.”
“And I don’t want you to think- I’m not telling you all of this to convince you to get back together with me. Or to upset you- I never want to hurt you again. You just deserve to know the truth. So…”
He wondered how the two of you got to this point. How you went from domestic bliss to something so ugly. But he knew exactly how it happened- it was his fault. And he didn’t deserve a second chance. He deserved to be alone for the rest of his life while you moved on, found someone new- someone better. He wanted that for you. Of course, he’d rather have you all to himself. But it wasn’t right.
“It’s just- I’ve been regretting… well, everything, since the moment I left. I wish I would’ve talked to you, you know? I wish I was honest. I wish I told you what was going on inside my head.” He ran a hand through his hair, “maybe things would’ve been different.”
“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to hear you say these things…” you said. “But now that you’re saying them it feels…” The floor rocked beneath your feet. You teetered to the side and reached for the arm of the couch- it was all too much. The lack of sleep, the emotional exhaustion, the weight of Bucky’s words. You needed to sit.
Bucky reached for you, desperate to help you steady yourself- but he pulled away. He didn’t have permission to touch you. Not anymore.
“Things absolutely would’ve been different,” you let out a deep sigh. Every possible outcome you came up with ended far better than the reality. “Because we would’ve worked through it together. As a team. And no one would’ve gotten hurt.”
All Bucky could do was nod.
“And maybe we’d still end up in this safe house, but we’d probably use it as a makeshift romantic getaway instead of an agonizingly awkward prison sentence.”
The thought brought a smile to Bucky’s face, to yours. It was easy to imagine the two of you camped out in the living room, reading by the fire and drinking old-fashioneds. You’d stay up late watching movies together and sleep until noon. And when the threat was eliminated, you’d almost wish for more danger- anything to keep the two of you in your own little world.
Everything went quiet. Neither of you knew what to say- or if there were any words appropriate for the situation. Was there even anything else to be said? Part of you wanted to retreat to your bedroom. To hide under your covers. But you wouldn’t allow yourself to squander this moment.
A sad smile pulled at your lips. “I don’t know where… where are we supposed to go from here?” You stared at Bucky as though he had all the answers, as though it wasn’t him who burned your world to the ground.
“I don’t think we have to go anywhere,” he said. “Nothing has to change between us- like I said, I’m not trying to change your opinion about me or make you feel bad. When this whole thing blows over, I’ll take you home. I’ll stay out of your hair.” He leaned against the wall opposite you, submitting to his future- and to his past, “I know I can’t change what I did.”
Another long silence filled the space. It pushed its way in between the two of you and rested heavy against your chest. Bucky waited for a curt ‘okay’ or a quick ‘goodnight’, but no such thing came.
“What if I don’t want that?” you said after a while.
He pushed away from the wall, as though your words pulled him upright. “What?”
“What if I want to try again?” Your heart thundered against your chest, growing faster and faster with each passing second. You stood on the precipice, willing yourself to fall. This was your chance, the opportunity you’d hoped for. And though it sent fear coursing through your veins, you knew you had to jump.
“No matter how many times I tell myself that you hurt me for the fun of it or that you never actually loved me, I don’t believe it. I can’t- even if I want to…” you let out a sad laugh. “Because I know who you are- I know what we had was real. And I think- I know it’s worth trying again.”
A quick flash of pain and anxiety tore through you, hollowing your chest, “And yeah, maybe I’m stupid for being overly optimistic or letting myself be vulnerable with you. But I’m… I’m willing to risk getting hurt all over again.”
Bucky stood stone still, rooted in place. This was all he’d ever wanted. But now that he had it, he feared the thing his heart desired most. What if he fucked up again? What if he hurt you again? What if he squandered his second chance?
“Are you…” Bucky took a deep breath, “are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Because you’re the only person I’ll ever want, Buck. Because I love you.”
Bucky never thought he’d hear those words again. And before he knew it, he was on the ground in front of you. He sunk to his knees, incapable of standing any longer. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. His tears dampened your skin as he let his head fall against your thighs.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry- you have no idea how sorry I am”, he said between sharp breaths. “I’m gonna make it up to you. I’m gonna make it all up to you, okay? I promise. I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I love you, that I’d rather die than lose you again. And I’m-”
“Okay, hey… let’s relax a bit.” You met him on the floor and pulled his head against your chest. “I love you, okay? And I know you love me. You don’t have to prove it.”
Bucky tried to deliver a rebuttal, but you wouldn’t allow it.
“Hey- we’re both tired. And emotional. Let’s just go to sleep, okay? It’s the middle of the night; we can talk things through in the morning.” You gently pulled his head from your chest and swiped the tears from his cheeks. Touching him again, holding him, provided the salve you needed. The wound in your chest started healing. The pain ceased. And for the first time in almost a year, you felt whole.
Your hands found Bucky’s and pulled him up right. With a gentle tug, you led him in the direction of your room.
“Come on,” you said, “let’s go to bed, baby.”
Tag list: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @mrsdrysdale18 @lonewolf471 @dreamerglassesgirl l @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @purpleshallot @duchessoftheheart @seitmai @itvy5601 @hisxsoulmate @dailyreverie @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine @masteroflightningz @evangeliamerryll @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi @[email protected]
Summary: You consider ending things with Bucky after seeing a girl come on to him, but it's not that easy, and you get a hard reminder about who he really wants in the clubhouse bathroom.
Pairing: Beefy biker!Bucky x reader
Warnings: 18+ only, smut, unprotected rough possessive sex, oral sex (f), fingering, brief exhibitionism/semi-public sex, mirror sex, jealous and angry reader, biker slang/culture, slightly toxic angsty vibes with a happy ending, a lot of swearing, pet names, beefy!bucky (he needs a warning).
Word Count: 1.6k
Like, comment, and/or reblog to put a giant smile on my face ♡
Leaning against the counter you tried to slow your breath and calm down after what you had just seen. A slutty little sweet butt, practically grinding herself against the man you’d been seeing – the man you thought was yours. Hell, he hadn’t told you that you were his old lady, but countless nights tangled up in his sheets at the clubhouse had you thinking that you were something more. Anything more.
You watched the way he smirked at her before you finally got sick of the sight and stormed into the bathroom down the hall.
Embarrassment flooded you as you realized what a waste your efforts with him were. You tried your best to play it cool, go easy and casual with Bucky because that's the pace that he set. But now you knew that he was just stringing you along out of convenience.
Deep blue eyes locked with yours as you stared into the mirror, the brawny biker slipping into the bathroom behind you.
“You just couldn’t help yourself, could ya Buck?” you sneered at his reflection.
“C’mon darlin’, don’t be like that.” His big, warm hands slowly slid around your waist from behind.
You turned in his hold, glaring up into his stupid gorgeous eyes. He towered over you and his large frame took over the cramped space. Why did he have to look like that? All broody, and irresistible, and annoyingly beguiling. Just having his hands on you made you want to fall down the rabbit hole, pretend like it didn’t bother you, as if your heart wasn’t on the line and you were perfectly fine – but then he smirked.
Anger rose up your chest as you looked at him, grinning at you like he did at her. Rage took over. “I’m fucking done with you!” you shouted, shoving his broad chest away from you, but he didn’t move an inch and you hated how hot that was. His body emanated power, and his presence made you weak.
Bucky’s eyebrows raised, his mouth slightly opening as his gaze darkened. “Nothing happened, and nothing was gonna happen, honest,” he declared. He sounded sincere, and you despised the way you felt your hard exterior fragment at his words.
That smug smirk graced his lips again, and you wanted to slap it off, or more honestly, kiss it off.
“You didn’t want something to happen with her?”
He crowded you, pushing you up against the counter behind you, close enough to feel the heat permeating off his body. “Now why would I want that when I have this sexy little spitfire right here?”
You rolled your eyes, biting your lip as you fought to hold onto your resolve the best you could. God, you just wanted him to hurt a little bit, wanted to be the one to walk away. “You don’t have me, Bucky.”
Gently running the back of his knuckles down the side of your face, his gaze flickered from your mouth to your eyes. “Don’t I?” he questioned, unaffected by your lie.
Gasping at his arrogance, “You son of a bitch.” You were done, this was it. He was used to getting his way with every girl he came across, but you weren’t going to give the self-righteous bastard the satisfaction.
His gruff voice broke your train of thought. “Because you sure as hell have me.”
Your breath hitched as you looked into his dark dilated pupils – he meant it.
“You’re only gonna break my heart, I don't think we should –”
His lips cut you off before you could end it. His tongue was hot and determined. His hands moved up and cupped your jaw as he held you in place, kissing you until you couldn’t think. Until you forgot why you were mad in the first place, only knowing that you needed him.
“You can’t quit me, baby,” he whispered against your lips. His hypnotic eyes reminded you that you were too far gone; his lips against your neck as his rough hands slid down and up your skirt, kneading your ass harshly cemented his possession.
With his sinful blue eyes transfixed on yours, he dropped to his knees between your legs and licked up the length of your inner thigh. Heat bloomed in your core as you gave in, watching him kiss his way up your thighs, biting into your flesh as his eyes held yours. Whimpering out, you tugged him closer, needing more. Bucky chuckled darkly before burying his face in between your thighs, licking and sucking you through your lacy g-string. He hooked his thumbs into the sides of your panty and eased them off before swiftly hooking your leg over his shoulder and swiping his hot thick tongue through your wet folds.
Your hands fell to his hair, holding him in place. “So fuckin’ good,” he groaned under his breath, his eyes closed in pleasure as he licked you from your entrance to clit, over and over again.
Without warning he shoved two thick fingers into your center, working you over as his tongue fixated on your bundle of nerves. The cool metal of his rings sliding against your hot skin created a delicious contrast. You moaned in between gasps of air, watching as he took care of what he knew belonged to him. The grip on his hair got harsher and he could tell you were close, feeling your needy muscles quiver – his favorite tell-tale sign.
Unable to control yourself you trembled in pleasure, body convulsing as you came undone. “That’s it, baby,” he purred, helping you through it, curling his fingers deeper inside of you. Mischievous eyes watched in appreciation, his chest swelling with pride as you whimpered out his name.
While your anger had been snuffed out to embers, your passion for him reignited the flame.
You coaxed Bucky to stand before tearing at his shirt, pulling his cut and flannel open so that you could nip at his neck. You bit and sucked your way down to his tattooed chest, leaving your mark as you went.
Tugging at his belt, you swiftly undid his jeans, desperate to feel him. Before you could wrap your hand around his heavy length, he gripped the back of your thighs and pressed you hard up against the wall across from the mirror; where you could watch as he wrecked you.
Holding you there with his hips and hands, he leaned forward to capture your lips before lining himself up; only pulling back a split second to watch your face as he buried himself inside of you, driving home with one hard thrust. You gasped at the stretch and intense familiar pressure. Bucky had fucked you so many times, but that first plunge never failed to take your breath away; always reminded you how no other man could ever fill you so right.
His hips snapped into yours mercilessly, striking you roughly again and again at an unwavering pace.
You threw your head back and lost yourself in a daze, incapable of uttering a word. Fuck, you’d let him do whatever he wanted if he’d keep on using your body like that.
“You’re all I want,” he growled, his teeth on your neck.
As he recklessly thrusted in deeper than imaginable, you almost missed the quiet click of the door. But then your eyes locked in the mirror with that dumb skank that wanted your man.
Her eyes nearly bulged out in surprise and you took the opportunity to toss her a devilish grin as Bucky took you apart. That’s right bitch, mine.
She scurried off right before your back arched off the wall, your muscles tightening around him.
“Oh, fuck –”
“Takin’ all of me so fuckin’ well,” Bucky grinded his pelvis into you, rubbing your clit each time he bottomed out, knocking the air from your lungs. He was lost in you, and all you could do was take it. Wrapping your legs tighter around his waist, you pulled him impossibly closer, until your walls spasmed as you shattered in his arms. But he wasn’t done with you; he rutted into you hard, watching proudly as your body quaked between the wall and him. You clenched him perfectly, pulsating around him so hard it sent him over the edge.
You bit his lip as you felt his thrusts grow erratic. Bucky groaned out your name as he jerked violently, emptying himself – branding your insides with his hot release.
He’d be happy to spend the rest of his days living in you. His brain was foggy, but his heart knew who he was supposed to be with. Resting his forehead against yours, he panted as he tried to calm down.
Wrapping your hand around his jaw, you smiled softly. “I love it when we fight,” you admitted.
He chuckled and squeezed your thighs. “Me too, darlin’,” he nipped your lip. “But I’m starting to think you start these fights because you know how it’ll end.”
You giggled at his words, he was onto your game. “Maybe I do,” you whispered just before your lips met his for a soft, sweet kiss.
You were everything he wanted in a woman, you gave him more than he ever thought he’d find in his world. Right then, he made a mental note to stop entertaining the advances of other girls. His soul was already taken. But damn was it true, the fights always led to the best sex.
Carefully pulling himself out, he gently set you down, keeping his arms around your waist as you stood on wobbly legs. Your smudged eye makeup, those gorgeous sultry lips, and the way you looked at him – Bucky was a goner.
You were his weakness, and he knew then what he’d never said out loud – all he needed from this life was his bike, the club, and his best girl.