#osha the bear
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easy win
HONNESTLY I hesitated to give this one to the redbomb triplets.
#one piece#eustass kid#one piece eustass#eustasscaptainkid#trafalgar one piece#trafalgar d law#trafalgar law#one piece oc#doodle#comic strip#oc: osha#berwald osha#osha the bear
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Willy Wonka after actively endangering the lives of 5 children and violating every OSHA guideline there is
#wonka posting#willy wonka and the chocolate factory#willy wonka#charlie and the chocolate factory#the bear hulu#the bear#osha violation#unsafe business practices
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First day on the job, wish them luck!
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His name is Osha and he cares about your work safety
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so anyways as an ex Catholic I’ve elected to replace the esteemed position of the Ten Commandments in my mind with the OSHA codes
#like yeah yeah sure covet your neighbor’s car or whatever I don’t care.#but so help me if your scaffolding isn’t adequately load bearing…..#ex catholic#ex christian#tw catholicism#tw christianity#shitpost#osha#🤡.txt#jesus juice
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is your blog OSHA compliant?
OSHA (and oso) approved.
#ask#anon#bear barks#here at grizzly bear official we want to make sure that safety is our first priority#...or maybe second priority....behind salmon....#osha
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how are this many of you getting so genuinely mad over the concept of bike helmets. like this is a bit right? i'm just not privy to a site-wide bit where somehow the most pressing world issue is wearing a helmet? monty python website
#boo boo bear#i can't believe i'm witnessing a world war over pro and anti bike helmets rn#this is so funny. how are you all this seriously argumentative#i guess this is the osha enthusiasts website
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We can be "friends and family" after the shotgun marriage due to the rigorous breeding session ur gonna endure
wasnt that the plot to metal gear rising revengeance?
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⌚️ // Tossing in Sei!
Send ⌚️ to interrupt my muse while they’re working
Through the intercom a voice calmly informed shoppers on all item categories on their midday sale. Customers on cue made their way to the produce aisle to make use of these prices for meals coming these next few days. No one was in any rush, though, no one would be that interested in a sale on eggplants that they'd purchase them all.
Now the aisle Sei was in was completely empty with no one else around besides the usual Junes theme music. Perhaps that was better? Shopping in a department store was usually a quiet activity anyway.
"BEEP BEEP! Out of the way!" Or maybe not?
The blue bear mascot was running through the store pushing a dolly cart with numerous boxes on top. Each box was filled to the brim with either products to be shelved or decor to be used on the aisles. Yet the bear was speeding even with all that weight on top. He faced Sei's aisle and wasn't speeding down in the slightest. Both the sound of wheels sliding and feet squeaking came ever closer until...the cart stopped at Sei's right side perfectly without any crash or contact of any kind.
"Phew! I told Yosuke I could do it!" The bear panted slowly after his impromptu run. He knew he would be able to reach his goal without crashing but he wore his suit just in case. Safety first!
Now to start restocking those shelves.
#galaxofmuses#teddie answers#((beary sorry for the wait))#((have an energetic and OSHA violating bear))
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Do the batfamily members ever get too into their undercover work? (Undercover in an office and theyre worried about spreadsheets, working in a warehouse and coming home complaining about missing parts)
Bruce: Status updates on your undercover missions. Dick, you first. What have you got down at the docks?
Dick: I haven't confirmed the Killer Croc sightings yet, but more importantly, our catch hasn't been measuring up to last year's. Tuna we're doing okay on, but the salmon population seems to be on the low end. I've contacted the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries but it'll be another 3-5 business days before they can come down and check it out.
Bruce: At least you're doing something to help. Jason?
Jason: Class was okay. I think the kids are warming up to me as their substitute while Mrs. Maloney is out on maternity leave. The average on the last vocabulary quiz was 83.53% so either I'm doing my job right or they need to be challenged. I'm worried about Tristan Lancy, though. He's normally a good student but his grades have been dropping recently and his parents don't seem like safe people to tell. I'll talk to him tomorrow and try to pair him up with a peer tutor if he needs it.
Bruce: Also see if he has any alternate contacts besides his parents. Tim, any updates at the chemical plant?
Tim: If by updates you mean OSHA violations, I could go on all week. We got a batch of new recruits today and they were just thrown into the work—no PPE, no safety training, nothing. This is what happens when you place production over employee well-being. I'm gonna file a complaint after this meeting. Also, I think the union will have something to say about the manager cutting people's lunch breaks short.
Bruce: I see. Damian? Please tell me you found something volunteering at the zoo.
Damian: Depends on how you define "found." While I have not obtained evidence of a mutant larvae black market, I did help some of the animals at the sanctuary make progress with their recovery. Bobo the monkey is healing from his broken arms and we're gradually getting him re-acclimated to climbing higher surfaces. Suzie the black bear was born a little prematurely but seems to be catching up to her peers in terms of growth. Lastly, we got a grant for additional wildcat research and enrichment. As an aside, we are having an educational seminar on European mountain goats this Friday at 3:30 and I expect all of you to be there.
Bruce: I'll put that on our calendars. Steph?
Steph: It's not really undercover work for me, just work. Anyway, yes the newest Batburger location is being used for money laundering. But I really need to vent about the customers for a sec. We don't open until 10 and at 9:30 this morning some moron was banging on our door demanding Jokerized cheese fries. Then right in the middle of the lunch rush, Janie got sick so I had to fill in as the cashier and it was hell. After that, I had to step in between a fight at the drive-thru because the customer claimed we only gave him nine pieces of his ten-piece Robin nuggets and tried to beat up the kid who took his order. And to top it all off, an entire high school hockey team came in five minutes before closing.
Bruce: Cass?
Cass, blowing balloons: Can't talk. Arranging bat mitzvah.
Bruce: Duke, you're my last hope.
Duke: Margie's bringing a peanut butter chocolate cake to the bake sale. I swiped her recipe and we can easily beat her. Her ganache is way too watery and just runs off the top of the cake, which isn't even leveled. She's also trying to do something with a raspberry filling that isn't working at all. It's like she couldn't decide on what to bring. The bake sale committee also asked if we can bring some apple pies because the original baker has to go out of town for a family emergency. I think we'll win if we bring them with some ice cream and a touch of caramel, even though this isn't a contest.
Bruce: Thank you. At least our most critical case has been taken care of.
Barbara: ...I'll save my book launch for later.
#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#duke thomas#signal#stephanie brown#spoiler#cassandra cain#orphan#barbara gordon#oracle#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics
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prompt: ghost works on an oil rig. he meets reader during his osha mandated 2 weeks off. (ns/fw)
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Ghost experiences time like a sudden swarming of locusts. Absolutely devastating for a period, and then silence, just him to observe the aftermath of the wreckage.
Work on an offshore oil rig is split into shifts of two weeks on, two weeks off. During his two weeks on, he spends his near twelve-hour shifts in constant motion, muscles aching to the point of fatigue, to the point of giving out where he lugs tools and parts across the rig. He contorts himself into all manner of positions for quick and long repairs, breaking his back day in and day out because that is what work expects of him. What he expects of himself.
Lying motionless in his bed, the sound of Soap’s snoring from the bunk over him the only thing half-resembling a lullaby. Hours before sleep falls on him, and then suddenly it’s day again, opening grit-crusted eyes to the bottom of Soap’s bunk, metal and leather straps across the underside, and then he’s up and down the halls that are never big enough for him. He wakes up ravenous, never full. Hungering always.
It takes nearly a full three days onshore to get his bearings; he never quite loses his sealegs.
Foam-topped beer at his local pub. That’s how Ghost fills his days off; the rest of his crew flock off to their families, some into the warm arms of whatever casual arrangement they’ve got going on outside of the rig. For Ghost, he finds solace in counting down the minutes until his OSHA mandated period of rest is over and it’s time to head back.
There’s nothing waiting for him outside of the rig. Family home long since burned to the ground. He won’t even let his mind turn to the family in it.
He’s on the fifth day of his union-enforced leave, hunched over the bar like usual and picking away at an order of fish and chips when he happens to look up and catch sight of you. You’re chattering away at the other end of the room, dressed like one of the waitresses.
You’re new. Ghost learns as much when he turns to the bartender—an old friend of his, though he’d call him less of a friend and more of a familiar face that’s come to know his name after the years he’s spent at this particular pub—and it’s said like it’s a novelty. It is. New faces are rare in towns like this, working class towns far off from any big city. It’s the same reason he hasn’t fallen into bed with anyone in too many years to count, not when he sees the same old faces whenever he touches land.
With you though, it’s different. Ghost keeps an eye on you while he nurses his pint. It’s not hard to catch your eye; you’re new and keen and curious and when your eyes rove over the crowd that grows as night outside deepens, it’s impossible to skip over the shape of him. His line of work has shaped him into something strong and solid; linebacker-size, a condition of which is to never feel comfortable on any chair.
Your eyes go wide for all of a second, betraying you. Momentarily desirous. Ghost sees it and feels it stir in him for once in years. No longer the perfunctory thing to be dealt with in the bathroom every morning after waking up, one calloused hand wrapped around his thick length, grunting with his release and then washing his hands off before getting started with the day’s errands.
Ghost waits until he’s nearly at the end of his glass before stepping from his chair, heading out the front door. Before he exits, he makes sure to catch eyes with you again, something significant passing between the two of you.
Cigarette in an alleyway beside the pub. Taking the glove off his hand so he can feel the cig between his fingers, feel the ash flake off past his knuckles. He’s leaning against the brick wall when you come out, apron tied demurely around your waist.
It’s you that breaks the silence first. “Hi—haven’t seen you around before.”
He stares into your eyes for a spell, taking another pull before he tosses the butt to the ground, snuffing it out under his boot. “Wouldn’t imagine you had.”
You take a couple steps closer, despite yourself. Despite the fact that you know what you’re broadcasting, the way you look up at him from under your lashes, cheeks dusted with a blush that’s hardly visible in the dim light but for the way you make it obvious with the rest of you.
“I just moved into town a couple days ago. Guess I’ll see you around more often—Gaz said you’re a regular.”
“‘Spose you could say that.” Time feels molasses slow for once; Ghost feels the edge of his lip curl up into something half-resembling a grin, in another time. “Don’t suppose you’re off for the night, are ya?”
Your legs around his waist are softer than anything he’s touched in years. It’s a near revelation. There’s something in him that grows frantic when he finally has you on your back on his navy sheets; the sparseness of his bedroom hardly seems worthy of having you in it, but he won’t pass up the opportunity. His eyes go half-lidded when he gets between your legs, tongue flicking over your clit and laving over you from hole to hole. Greedy for it.
His head spins when he finally slots himself over you and pumps into the soft warmth between your legs. The little bitten off noises, kitten-like moans that get trapped behind your teeth. Your arms are snaked around his neck, tightening like your pussy around his cock. His big hands clutch at your ass, squeezing into the flesh there; everything so soft.
“None of that, love,” Ghost grunts into your neck, sucking dark bruises into the softness there. Hoping they flare bright in the morning light. “Want you loud. Gonna imagine this every time I’m alone and hard on the rig. Perfect little cunt.”
When he makes you come, fingers rubbing at your clit until you squeak, nails digging into the muscle of his back, it burns into his memory. Time stilling for once, segmented only by your quick breaths in.
For the first time in longer than he can remember, his time off-shore can’t be long enough.
#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#cod x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x you#cod simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost/reader#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost mw2#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ceil writing#dont ask where im getting the energy to write this much itll vanish soon
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Osha would look great in a Sora cosplay. Law has good taste, for a nerd anyways, I’ll let him have that
ok it wasn't really a Sora.... Sora cosplay.........
yeah I was lowkey hoping someone would ask me this so thank you for opening the door
#one piece oc#one piece#oc: osha#osha the bear#berwarld osha#oc x canon#trafalgar law#trafalgar op#trafalgar d law#trafalgardwaterlaw#bepo#penguin and shachi#heart pirates#comic strip#germa 66
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ayyy thanks for coming out to stream this week! Here are the cards that folks have paid for me to write during stream!
Image ID's under the cut
seven white cards against dark brown woodgrain. each card has calligraphy written on it as follows:
pink ink: I bet if we undevilled Stokky they'd be a dilf: bought by @naivetyandwoolysocks
dark brown ink: Dad, can I have magical Dysentery?: bought by @sablefoxx
lavender ink: Grandma, it's me, OSHA Regulations.: bought by @dragon-of-the-stars for @alumbianchronicler
light brown ink: The bear is a medium weapon.: bought by @toddnyallison
sparkly red ink: Microdosing unspeakable things/ the things: yah! wah! hoo!: bought by @ghostchilismoothie
sparkly red ink: The Server Braincell Is Mine.: bought by @dragon-of-the-stars
magenta ink: Pablo is content with mild arson. for now.: bought by @different-felix
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The Wildling and the Lost Boy (for anon)
AGOT – Catelyn III
"Rickon needs you […] He's only three, he doesn't understand what's happening. He thinks everyone has deserted him”
AGOT – Bran VI
"What are you doing here?" [...]
"They are my gods too," Osha said. "Beyond the Wall, they are the only gods."
[…] “The cold winds are rising, and men go out from their fires and never come back … or if they do, they're not men no more, but only wights, with blue eyes and cold black hands. Why do you think I run south with Stiv and Hali and the rest of them fools? Mance thinks he'll fight, […] but what does he know? […] He's never tasted winter. I was born up there, child, like my mother and her mother before her and her mother before her, born of the Free Folk. We remember." Osha stood, her chains rattling together. "I tried to tell your lordling brother. […] But he looked through me […]. So be it. I'll wear my irons and hold my tongue. A man who won't listen can't hear."
AGOT – Bran VII
"I lived my life beyond the Wall, a hole in the ground won't fret me none, m'lords," she said.
[…] Ser Rodrik had ordered Osha's chain struck off, since she had served faithfully and well since she had been at Winterfell. She still wore the heavy iron shackles around her ankles—a sign that she was not yet wholly trusted—but they did not hinder her sure strides down the steps.
[…]
Rickon patted Shaggydog's muzzle, damp with blood. "I let him loose. He doesn't like chains." He licked at his fingers.
ACOK – Bran V
"Osha," Bran asked as they crossed the yard. "Do you know the way north? To the Wall and . . . and even past?"
ACOK – Theon IV
Osha would need to carry Rickon; his little legs wouldn't take him far on their own.
[…]
Theon Greyjoy knew he was beaten […] Osha had deceived them with some wildling trick.
ACOK – Bran VII
Bran heard fingers fumbling at leather, followed by the sound of steel on flint. Then again. A spark flew, caught. Osha blew softly. A long pale flame awoke, […] Osha's face floated above it. She touched the flame with the head of a torch. Bran had to squint as the pitch began to burn, filling the world with orange glare. The light woke Rickon, who sat up yawning. […]
There stood Osha holding the torch, […] and the double row of tall granite pillars and long dead lords behind them stretching away into darkness . . . but there was Winterfell as well, grey with drifting smoke, the massive oak-and-iron gates charred and askew, the drawbridge down in a tangle of broken chains and missing planks.
[...] "Are we going home?" Rickon asked excitedly.
[…] Osha carried her long oaken spear in one hand and the torch in the other. A naked sword hung down her back, one of the last to bear Mikken's mark.
[…]
"Take me home!" Rickon demanded. "I want to be home!" […] They stood huddled together with ruin and death all around them.
"We made noise enough to wake a dragon," Osha said, "but there's no one come. The castle's dead and burned, just as Bran dreamed,” […]
"Hodor must stay with Bran, to be his legs," the wildling woman said briskly. "I will take Rickon with me."
#valyrianscrolls#asoiafedit#direwolfdaily#valyriansource#asoiafwomensource#valyrianladies#housestarkedit#rickon stark#shaggydog the direwolf#osha the wildling#osha#asoiaf#the free folk#*edits#ours#by jacoby
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I think faz ent hunted osha to extinction just like they did the bears
#I mean#how else are they still open#can’t have anyone getting them for health codes#and need to keep people coming by being the only place with bear#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#my hcs#this is /j but I do find it suspicious bears are extinct by time security breach rolls around
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You know, it always frustrates me when people refuse to branch out and try new TTRPGs, stubbornly clinging to things that bring them happiness, so I wanted to provide a little recommendation you might not have considered: D&D.
You might have heard of Dungeons and Dragons, or D&D as it's frequently called, from the 2023 movie, or, if you're a little more tuned in, Stranger Things, but it's been around since the 1970s! And if you haven't given it a go, it's worth checking out.
Obviously you’d be looking for alternatives to Pathfinder given past reports from employees that they had to unionize in order to get the company to follow basic OSHA regulations and repeated accusations of underpaying both staff and freelancers. Fear not! D&D 5e is an intuitive switch - Pathfinder 1e was originally based on an earlier edition of D&D, and the cast of Critical Role actually made this same switch, so it’s been done before! You’ll find most of the same classes, a large homebrew community, and similar combat mechanics - but much more streamlined. If you’ve been rolling your eyes at the near-infinite ability check range in Pathfinder 1e, or the fact that you need to look up twenty factors before assigning a difficulty class, or the need to burn an entire action to maintain spell concentration, D&D simplifies it. With a handful of exceptions for classes with expertise, and not including the possibility of bardic inspiration being used on an already successful roll, most checks will be below 35, and DCs can be created by the DM - which is just one of the many ways D&D prioritizes player agency, a phrase we understand the meaning of and care about deeply.
And now that bears are out of vogue due to their association with hard drugs thanks to Cocaine Bear, you might be looking for alternatives to your Honey Heist game. One of my favorite games is D&D, which has the bonus of being flexible enough for both one-session games, and something ongoing! Pre-created character sheets and modules are available for free, so it can be as low-prep or as involved as you want. If you’re missing the animal aspects, check out the druid class, or you could take a look at the blood hunter class by Matt Mercer (who you may know as Trinket from Trinket’s Honey Heist) if you’re interested in playing a creature who might lose control. The McElroys, known Honey Heist players, have actually run several D&D campaigns if you are looking to onboard. Also, let's be real: Honey Heist is overly simplistic - seriously, only one page? - and has dumb hats, and if you knew about the other options, you'd obviously not be playing it.
Speaking of the McElroys, I bet we have some Blades in the Dark and PbtA fans in the audience! If you find mixed success mechanics frustrating, want to be able to have larger-scale, higher-stakes battles without the risk of dying immediately, or are interested in a less regimented structure that is more setting-agnostic, as well as provides opportunities for the Game Master (called a Dungeon Master in D&D) to fail, D&D is worth a look! It's a fairly combat-heavy game and characters are built to be able to withstand some heavy hits, so a large battle won't bring the narrative to a halt as your characters struggle to find outlets for their unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to recover (though, of course, if you like that, the open RP and general ability check mechanisms make it easy to include)!
What's important, in the end, is to remember that the TTRPG you are currently enjoying is wrong, bad, and stupid. Choose the game I, an internet stranger who has made no effort to learn anything of your personal tastes, interests, and the needs of your table, has decided you should play. And remember: the most important thing is having fun.
#anyway happy april fools have some satire#also to be clear: i love and have played honey heist#and i am interested in bitd#this is not about those specific games it is about a general form of recommendation that is the satire do not @ me
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