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dutchvanwinkle · 1 year

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Mr Van der Linde Pt. 6 - Dutch x Reader

This chapter is pretty heavy, with an exploration into grief and mental disorders. I’ve provided more of my thought process at the end as I don’t want to spoil the plot up here, but it’s there if you want to take a look beforehand!

As always - here's the ao3 link.

Summary: Dutch takes you on a minibreak and finally opens up about himself and his past.

Word count: 5,532

Content warnings: smut, discussions around mental health

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Since his visit at the start of term, Dutch had made a point of calling you to catch up at least once a week. He wasn’t the texting type and preferred to hear about your days rather than read about them, which was rather sweet, except you had to keep your voice down if he called you while you were in your flat – just in case.

After repeatedly trying to arrange a weekend to see you with no success, one day he sent you a message to keep three of the days a couple of weeks before Christmas free when he knew you’d be finished with lectures for the term.

Fast-forward to then, he’d picked you up and driven the two of you to a small cottage he’d rented in the countryside a few hours away for the two of you to have some alone time together.

The place was beautiful, quaint, and with enough local amenities to keep you busy. Although, you didn’t have much time to explore, since as soon as you’d entered and dropped your bags, Dutch attached his lips to yours and had you bent over the kitchen counter for an apt reuniting. I’ve missed you he’d said into your hair once finished, and opened up the opportunity for you to try the shower together.

“I was thinking,” he said, sipping at his coffee as he caught up with the evening news on the old boxy television once you were both squeaky clean, “we stay in for food tonight, rest up, and go out to eat tomorrow?”

“Sounds good,” you agreed, lifting the blanket from the back of the sofa and joining Dutch on it, draping it over the two of you and sighing contently once you were nestled into his side, the crackling fire swiftly warming the room. It was scary how easy it was to just be like this with him, but you couldn't bring yourself to question it. “Where’s there to eat around here?”

“Uh,” Dutch pulled out his phone and scrolled around on maps, “there’s not much. A café and a pub, both relatively close to here.”

“Either will do,” you yawned, resting your head on his shoulder. “I still can’t believe you arranged this.”

“Well, I knew you couldn’t weasel your way out of it if we had something booked.”

“I don’t weasel my way out of anything -”

“No?” Dutch interrupted, raising his brows at you, “assignments popping up out of nowhere, extra shifts at work, a gig you forgot you had tickets for, none of those ring a bell?”

You grumbled into the fabric of his shirt. “All valid excuses.”

“Whatever you say, miss,” he chuckled light-heartedly. “I believe, anyway, this is a cause for celebration,” he stood, making his way into the kitchen and returning with two glasses and a bottle of fancy champagne.

“Where the hell did you hide that? And what are we celebrating?”

“I believe,” he opened the champagne on the small coffee table in front of you and poured out a glass. “You’re now halfway through your time at university, correct?”

“Sort of,” you took the glass from him, “technically, it’s not halfway until after these exams. Close enough, though.”

“And,” he sat beside you, his own glass in hand, “it’s been a year since you and I met.”

“It has?”

“There or thereabouts. You came over just before Christmas.”

“Oh yeah,” you tilted your head, recalling the first time you saw Dutch casually lying on his sofa. “So it has.”

“I can’t believe you don’t remember,” Dutch scoffed, swilling the champagne around his glass.

“Aw,” you said patronisingly, “I didn’t realise you’d been counting. Do you have a journal filled with my initials and hearts, too?”

Dutch narrowed his gaze, a stern breath out of his nose. “I’m trying to be romantic.”

You smirked, clinking your glass against his and have a swig. “To romance.”

With a scoff, Dutch leaned over to place his glass on the table. “Last time I do anything nice for you -”

“What are you doing?” you gasped, picking his glass up and shunting it into his hand.

“What?”

“Drink it! It’s seven years of bad sex if you toast without having a drink afterwards.”

“You know that from experience?”

“Just drink it,” you tapped the bottom of the glass reprimandingly, and he did as you asked.

“I didn’t have you down as the superstitious type,” he put his arm around you, amusement lighting up his face.

You leaned into him all the same. “I’m not, exactly. But I don’t want to take the risk. I’m quite a fan of our sex.”

“As am I,” he agreed, taking another sip. “Are you glad your first semester is over?”

“I will be when the exams finish. But by that point, it’ll be second semester and I’ll have to do it all over again,” you responded begrudgingly.

“How’s John getting along? He doesn’t tell me much.”

“He’s fine,” you shrugged, not wanting to be the middleman between the two.

Dutch let out a sigh and stretched his back. “I should’ve known you’d be no help on that front.”

“I am not getting involved,” you laughed. “If you want to know how he’s doing, ask him yourself. Plus, I’d rather not be reminded that he’s your son.”

“Can’t run from the truth, darlin’,” he mused, and the two of you took another sip.

“I’m not running. I’m just ignoring it.”

“How’s that different?”

“Because I said so,” you shrugged, shifting slightly to look around the room. “I like it here.”

Dutch glanced around too. “We’ll do it again sometime.”

The statement hinted at a future, the thought of which had been ruminating around your head as of late. You pushed it back, not wanting to divulge away from the relaxed atmosphere in the room. Instead, you snuggled up to Dutch and sat for a while until your conversation was filled with more yawns than words, at which point you turned in for the night.

Waking up laid on Dutch’s chest wasn’t something you were used to yet, but it was something you enjoyed greatly. So much so, that once you’d awoken the next morning, you remained in your position and didn’t check if he was awake, wanting to savour the comfort and warmth he provided.

That was, until he shifted, and you heard him pull something from the draw, then a lid coming off. You peeked upwards, finding Dutch taking a swig of water and screwing the lid back on a bottle of pills that he hastily put back in the drawer.

“What are those?” you asked, leaning up on your elbow to look over at his nightstand.

Dutch tensed, slowly shifting his eyes to meet yours before swallowing down the tablet. He looked like he’d been caught in a questionable act, the expression on his face one you’d never seen there before.

Shame.

You put a hand on his arm, a minor attempt at soothing whatever worry had been prodded awake in his mind. “What is it?”

“I - they’re -” he began, looking back at his glass of water and sighing deeply. “I suppose you had to find out sooner or later.”

“Find what out?” you sat up, facing him as concern began brewing in your mind. “Dutch, are you okay?”

“Yes, yeah, I’m fine. They’re just,” he leaned back against the headboard, decompressing as his panic turned into acceptance. “They’re mood stabilisers.”

“Oh,” you responded, glad to hear that none of the worst-case scenarios in your head were true. You wanted to know more, but this was clearly a sensitive topic for him. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

He looked at you with mild surprise, blinking a few times to glance down at his hands which he was wringing together. You placed your palm over them. “I don’t necessarily want to, but it’s about time you knew about it.”

You nodded, allowing him to go at his own pace, your heart wrenching at how raw and exposed he was for the first time since you’d met him. This certainly wasn’t what you’d expected from this weekend.

“Not now. How about we go on a walk after breakfast? It’s a lovely part of the country,” he gestured out the window, hopeful.

“I’d like that.”

The two of you spoiled yourself with breakfast at a local café, idle chatter and comfortable silences accompanying your meal. Part of you wished you could go for a nap but walking it off was the more sensible option. Besides, you didn’t think letting Dutch hold that extra weight on his shoulders for any longer than necessary was a good idea.

You walked from the local village to a nearby trail, with open fields and sky that stretched out for miles. You’d gotten lucky with the weather, despite not being hot, the sun was out and made for a nice addition to the scenery. After only a few steps, Dutch casually took your hand in his and the two of you began the walk.

“I’ve been on them for years,” Dutch’s opening sentence was soft, as though he’d been deep in thought about how to begin the conversation.

“Have they helped?” The question felt like a silly one, you doubted he’d take them if they didn’t, but you weren’t sure what to ask at this moment, or whether you were to ask anything at all.

“Yeah. A lot.” He sounded almost glum.

“That’s good.”

“Was Arthur who got me on them in the first place.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, feeling for a boundary you didn’t want to cross. “What are you like without them? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“No, it’s fine.” Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him glance at you and felt reassured. “Uh, I think Arthur’s word for it was ‘unreasonable’. Though I think he was being nice, to placate me.”

“On account of your unreasonableness.”

“Exactly.”

The silence extended, and you enjoyed the singsong of birds nearby while you waited for him to find his next words.

“Arthur... he’s put up with a lot. A lot more than the other two. I half wonder how he still tolerates me.”

“By put up with, do you mean with regards to you specifically?” you pried gently, hoping you weren’t putting words in his mouth.

“Unfortunately. After Ann -” Dutch stopped, giving you a sharp look at the realisation this was the first time he’d mentioned his late wife.

“You can talk about Annabelle,” you reassured him, “I’d like to hear about her.”

He nodded, relieved. “After she - Annabelle, passed away, I guess I sort of changed. Well, John doesn’t agree with that, but -”

“Agree with what?” you asked, unsure what he was referring to.

Dutch sighed, visibly uncomfortable but with a lingering desire to continue his explanation. “John reckons I was always this way. Just that the circumstance brought it out,” he looked to the ground at the stones shifting beneath his steps, and you ran your thumb over his hand that was still clasped around yours. “Sorry, I’m not making much sense.”

Hearing him speak without an air of self-assurance was almost jarring, as though no matter how hard he tried to plan out the words there just wasn't a good way to say them. “It’s okay. Why don’t you go back to Annabelle’s passing?”

“Right, good idea.” Dutch paused for an extended moment, ordering his thoughts. “I was so angry. That’s what I remember the most – just pure rage. She was a good person, and then she was gone.”

You chewed on your lip, wondering if it was your place to ask but decided it might help you understand Dutch that little bit more. “How did it happen?”

“She got sick.” That was all Dutch said, and that was all you needed to know. “We had a home, a good life, a family. Then it was just me, with these kids and I didn’t know the first thing about how to bring them up. Arthur was a teenager, poor Tilly just a toddler.”

“But you’d brought them up until that point?”

Dutch nodded diplomatically. “I suppose. Annabelle did all the tough bits, though, as most mothers do. But it wasn’t just that. The worst part was that I -” he trailed off, looking across the horizon and unable to hide the pain on his face. “I didn’t want to.”

Your brows knitted together. “Bring them up?”

“I just remember them wanting to... go away. I was heartbroken, I didn’t want to deal with their broken hearts too. It sounds awful, doesn’t it?” he looked at you, eyes sad and riddled with guilt.

“Grief’s a funny thing.”

A short, humourless laugh left Dutch and he turned his attention back to the scenery ahead. “Arthur,” his voice cracked on the name, “perceptive as he is, ended up doing a large part of that job for me. Mainly because I let him.” The pair of you took a few more steps, allowing the silence to dilute the tense air building around Dutch. “I resented him for it.”

“Why?” you asked gently.

“The kid was a better man than me. He’d lost his mother, and he had it in him to support his siblings. I just felt weak, almost like they’d -” he swallowed, his jaw ticking, “like they’d be better off if I wasn’t there.”

“Oh, Dutch -”

“Don’t,” he warned, not meeting your gaze, “it’s not sympathy I deserve.”

While you didn't completely agree with that statement, you opted for doing as he asked and kept quiet on that front.

“After a while, I got paranoid. I thought Arthur was trying to replace me, and I started to accuse him of it in not-so-many words. One night, Arthur did something he’d never done before.”

“What?”

“He shouted at me. Yelled at me. At that moment it was like seeing my own rage reflected, as he whittled off everything he hated about me. I was speechless. And at that moment, I hated him too.” Dutch’s face hardened with the memory, and he consciously shook it away. “The next day, Hosea – you remember him? I’m not sure you’ve met.”

“I remember,” you nodded. Dutch’s best friend, the one he worked with. You’d never spoken with him, but you were sure you’d seen him at the barbeque back in summer.

“Well, he came around. Sat me down with Arthur and they had an... intervention of sorts. He was more of a father to Arthur than I was at that time, and I hadn’t even noticed just how much he’d been there, taking the kids out and such. But I trust Hosea, always have.” For the first time in this conversation, Dutch’s eyes misted up, but he blinked it away. “He told me I needed to get help, and I did. I couldn’t have done it without him and Arthur.”

You walked some more, Dutch’s hand comfortably intertwined with yours. “Shit,” you huffed, wishing you had better words to articulate your thoughts. “I - that’s a lot. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” he asked.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. It mustn’t have been easy, accepting you need help and then seeing it through to this point.”

He looked at you, still a little puzzled.

“You’ve come a long way,” you shrugged, and Dutch’s face softened as though viewing his progress as an achievement wasn’t something he often did. That didn't surprise you, for as hard as could be on his kids he was noticeably harder on himself. “I didn’t know Annabelle, but I like to think she’d be proud of you for it.”

Dutch nodded, again looking at the countryside ahead and when his lip quivered you stopped walking, turning towards him and he mirrored your actions. You brought a hand up to the side of his face, running a thumb under his eye to catch one of his less-stubborn tears. “You’re very understanding,” his voice was weak as it carried the words, an odd thing to hear from such a proud, strong man.

There wasn’t much you could say, really. John had never mentioned anything about this, and your initial thoughts about their perfect family life were far from the truth. Their money wasn’t enough to save Annabelle, work through their grief, or avoid the inevitable trauma that followed. The life they had was built from the ground up on a rocky foundation, and it told you a lot about Dutch to know what he’d worked through to get to this point. You wrapped your arms around his waist and embraced him, the two of you remaining like that for a short time before continuing the walk, a much lighter atmosphere surrounding you for the rest of its duration.

After the walk, the two of you were hungry enough to go out for dinner earlier than planned, and promptly returned to the cottage once fed.

“What did you do with the rest of that champagne?” you called into the kitchen, fiddling with the cardigan you’d draped over your shoulders.

“I stuck it in the fridge with a spoon in the opening. Should be okay – do you want some more?” Dutch called back.

“Well,” you shifted on the arm of the sofa you were perched on, “I was thinking we could give that hot tub a whirl.”

A comical pause of silence preluded Dutch appearing in the doorway, eyebrows raising when he was met with you in your bikini. A half-smile inched onto his face, and he licked his lips absentmindedly. “You are full of good ideas,” he leaned up against the doorframe, his voice dropping in pitch. “You don’t think it’ll be cold?”

“Not in the hot tub,” you shrugged. “I’ll go figure out how to turn it on.” With that, you stood and walked away, smirking at the lack of movement on Dutch’s part.

Eventually, he pulled himself together and you were already relaxed in the warm water when he came outside, in his own shorts with the champagne in hand. The smile he couldn’t keep off his face was contagious as he placed the drink down and stepped into the water to sit opposite you.

He did look undeniably cute surrounded by bubbles.

Once he’d poured a glass, he handed it over and you held it up expectantly, waiting for his toast.

“Oh no, you were rather critical of my toast yesterday,” he said amusedly, pouring his own glass. “If you want one, you do it.”

You smiled surreptitiously, tilting your head while you thought. Once one came to mind, you flicked your gaze to his and cleared your throat. “To plentiful sex.”

Dutch tipped his head back as he laughed, eyes shining when they met yours. “Well, the gods of toasting do seem to have a lot of power in determining sexual relations, it seems, so that is fitting.”

With a nod of agreement, you extended your arm out and Dutch tapped his glass against yours. He made a show of retaining eye contact while you both took a sip. You jolted when something came into contact with your foot, but relaxed upon the realisation that it was just Dutch’s own foot inching towards you. Your body grew warmer at the insinuation, now heating up from the inside as well the outside thanks to the steamy water. He crept further up your shin, over your knee and up your inner thigh, then paused. He shunted his foot upwards, knocking your glass of champagne and did a good job of spilling it down your front.

“Dutch,” you cried in a half-laugh, sitting up straight and shivering at the cool alcohol on your skin.

The man just laughed, but soon leaned over onto your side of the tub. “Don’t worry,” he rumbled, taking your glass and setting it down along with his, “I’ve got it.” With that, he brought his head to your chest and licked the champagne from your cleavage, all the way up to your neck. Your shock swiftly moulded into arousal, sighing softly and arching into his touch.

“You’re a bastard,” you said despite yourself, but even that came out all breathy.

“You love it,” he said against your skin, continuing to clear it of the spilt champagne. “Besides,” he lifted his head, “it’d be unfair not to test that toast of yours.”

“Unfair?” you repeated, running one of his damp curls between your fingers, “unfair on who, exactly?”

“Me, you, the toast gods...” he said in-between pecks to your chest, trailing down to venture between your breasts once again.

Your fingertips ran into his scalp, spurring him on. “Well, we can’t have that.”

Dutch kissed along your clavicle then brought his face to yours. “I admire your fairness.”

After sighing out a laugh you pecked his lips, and one turned to two which turned to many. He tasted of champagne, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, his hands moving behind your back to untie your bikini. Without breaking the chain of kisses, you made a joint effort to remove it and he instantly found your breasts, caressing them in his hands.

You moved your fingers through his hair to hold the back of his head, keeping his lips pressed onto yours. Dutch brought his hand to your face, reciprocating your desire until the kiss broke and you brought a palm up to his cheek, the pair of you catching your breath and observing each other as day turned to night. “Are you sure we can do this in here?” you asked.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to survive the wait to do it anywhere else,” Dutch huffed and that was more reasoning than you needed; you weren’t sure you’d survive it yourself. You encouraged him to sit where he was previously and straddled him, the warm water sloshing around your bodies.

Dutch hummed as his palms felt their way up your thigh and you angled yourself so that his cock was pressed against you in just the right place between your combined swimwear. His fingers trailed around, squeezing your ass then trailing further still to press over your cunt. Thankfully, he couldn’t tease you for how wet you were this time.

Your whine in response was likely enough for him to figure it out anyway, and he deftly moved your bikini bottoms to the side so he could slide a finger in, and you clenched around it, searching for more.

“That’s it,” he cooed, voice thick and breaths short. You ground your clit onto him while he pumped his finger, soon after adding a second. It was greedy, but you always wanted more when it came to this man. His other hand brushed up your flank to reach your breast, running his thumb over your nipple as he intently watched the pleasure spread over your face. “You truly are magnificent.”

You tutted, lightly pinching his shoulder. “Hush.”

He shook his head with a smile. “Never.”

Reaching down to remove his shorts, he lifted his hips to assist, and you decided you might as well go completely bare too. After untying your bottoms, you flung them over the side with his shorts and immediately ground onto his length. Dutch whimpered weakly as you lined up and slowly sunk down onto him.

“Oh my,” Dutch breathed and held your hips in his hands, keeping your crotch anchored to his while your walls fluttered around him and got used to the feeling. His body was growing familiar, a thing you anticipated but admired all the same just as you had the first time you’d become intertwined.

You shifted your knees and pressed your torso into his, a gentle hand on his neck to persuade him to look up at you. He did, and with a stifled sigh, you pressed your lips to his. Dutch was oddly pliant, allowing your tongue in and following your lead as you explored his mouth. Experimentally, you raised your hips some and sunk back down, finding a tender rhythm that made him dig his fingernails into your flesh.

While the air was cold, the two of you were burning hot. Manoeuvring yourself up and down Dutch’s length allowed for a measure of control you hadn’t had previously, and the quiet praise he repeated as you moved told you all you needed to know about his thoughts on the matter. His thighs twitched occasionally, him fighting the urge to pound into you and rush to the finish.

Leaning back from him, you took in the sight of his steamy, soaked skin, the pink flush that resided there and the defined curls, some of which fell forward onto his face. He was drinking you in, too, your wet skin and exposed nipples, along with the lust-filled expression on your face as your lips parted and eyes grew heavy. The angle allowed for a repeated pressure over the sensitive spot in your walls, and you dropped your head back with a moan as the intensity increased with each thrust.

“Dutch,” you whispered into the evening air, thoroughly and contently filled with him.

“I know, darlin’,” he agreed, enamoured with the view of you falling apart right on his lap.

Dutch’s muscles, highlighted thanks to the blanket of water covering his form, grew taut with the strength of which he clung to you. He squeezed your thighs, dragging his fingernails over your skin and his carnal need flashed dangerously over his eyes. With a growl, you found yourself losing the rhythm you’d built as Dutch forced his own, pulling you down onto him at a much more brutal pace.

You cried out, Dutch hissing through his teeth as his features scrunched. “Oh, yes,” he said approvingly, “I finally get to hear your pretty song.”

The more noise you let spill from your mouth, the harder Dutch gripped your flesh and used your body for his enjoyment, the two of you slippery and still yearning for more. You wanted it so bad it hurt, your abdomen burning up as his cock fucked you further and further into a state of euphoria. It was just you and him, able to be animals of your own accord, nobody around to tell you it was wrong or immoral.

But that was why you liked it. This older, mature man saw the value in you, grew almost obsessive at the thought of your body and the back and forth in your mind slowed every time he showed you just what you did to him. You clouded his judgement; you were worth the risk. You had him panting, pulling your body to his as he claimed all that you were. He had the same effect on you, you supposed.

Dutch shifted in his seat, digging his feet into the bottom of the tub to try and get further in, to fuck you harder, deeper. “Fuck, darlin’ -” he moaned, tailing off almost into a whimper. “Oh my, my girl. You feel so good. So good.”

His babbling praise filled your ears, seeped into your skin and fed your very soul. Making him lose his well-practised control only heightened your lust. You whined, feeling over the flexing muscle of his shoulders and holding on for dear life. At this rate, you wouldn’t be surprised if you floated right up into the stars above.

“Shit, I can’t -” he grunted strenuously, “I’m gonna, sweetheart, I’m gonna -”

And he did, pulling you as far down onto his cock as he could and dropping his head to your chest, his thighs twitching beneath you as he filled your pussy to the brim. You cradled his jaw, laboured breaths leaving the pair of you as he looked up with those dark eyes of his. He tutted at himself, muttering an apology and you chuckled as he brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing across it and pressing down at just the right moment.

His teeth attacked your neck, and you knew he’d leave a mark but screw it – regardless of anything you couldn’t deny that you were his. It felt too good, his cock and his fingers and his lips exploring every avenue of your body. “Come, darlin’,” he said lowly, his voice hoarse, “let me feel you come on my cock. That’s it. Good girl, come on -”

Your toes curled and your eyes tightened shut at the feeling that shot through you, a hot wave of shock that buzzed into your appendages. With a moan of relief, you dropped your forehead to press against his, still feeling the after-effects of your orgasm. “That was so -”

Dutch hummed in agreement, and you were glad he understood.

Tenseness turned to relaxation as you melted into him, and your body felt weaker and more fucked-out than it ever had. Dutch’s big arms wrapped around you when you rested your head on his shoulder, and you could happily fall asleep right there – even if it did mean you’d look like a prune come morning.

“I think someone’s ready for bed.”

“Oh no,” you yawned, “I’m full of energy.”

Dutch snickered, and you groaned when he shifted, but he shushed you gently. “Just sit there for five seconds, darlin’.”

You did, begrudgingly, and watched him step out of the hot tub and find his shorts from the floor, pulling them up before turning off the hot tub. Then he reached in and took you in his arms, cradling you as though you were his most prized possession. It was a fair trade, and you wrapped your arms around your neck as he walked into the house and carried you into the bedroom.

“Now, tell me, you don’t exactly want to get this bed all wet, do you?” you raised your brows at him suggestively, and he shook his head in mild disapproval. “Bad girl. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“No,” you gave in, “I don’t.”

“Right. So, I’m gonna stand you up here, wipe us both down with a towel, and then we’ll get comfy. Deal?”

“Deal,” you parroted, leaning in to press your lips to his.

Dutch followed up on his end of the bargain, gently dragging the soft towel over your skin. You climbed into bed while he dried himself. He changed into some dry, charcoal grey shorts and glanced over to you. “Would you like your pyjamas?”

Your answer was a shake of your head, and his expression grew pleased. “Good. I’ll just be a second.”

He left to lock the doors and turn out the lights and then returned to climb in beside you, immediately pulling you into his chest and you wrapped your leg over his, attempting to get as close as you could.

“You’re a special girl,” he hummed into your hair, and it was the last thing you remembered hearing before drifting off.

This must’ve been on record for the most showers you’d ever taken in a weekend. Dutch had the expected reaction come morning to your nude form lying half-on him, and you didn’t blame nor begrudge him for it. The two of you were squeaky clean once again by the time you sat down for late breakfast Dutch had insisted on cooking for you.

“I wish we could stay here,” you said melancholily, leaning back in your chair and taking a swig of orange juice to wash down your food.

“Don’t tempt me,” Dutch agreed, resting his open palm on the table.

You placed yours over it and offered him a bittersweet smile, the unfairly quick passing of time feeling almost like a robbery of sorts. Here, you'd been away from your troubles and stress at university, and you'd been able to just be with him without worrying about who'll hear you. It was just what you'd needed. “Thanks for bringing me.”

“Of course. Fancy enjoying the view for the last few hours?”

With a nod you stood, and Dutch led you outside, taking a seat on the bench facing the outstretched scenery and you took a sit on his lap in turn. He lit a cigarette and you relaxed into him, glancing up at the hard line of his jaw while he pressed the smoke to his mouth.

It was so cliché, but god did he look hot while he smoked.

“I was wondering,” he began, “why don’t the lot of you live in the same flat?”

“We were meant to. But because I didn’t let the accommodation office know, nobody did.”

“You really are the good girl of the group.”

“Hardly,” you huffed, gesturing a hand to him.

“Touché,” he smirked around his next drag. “Will you next year?”

“Yeah, either merge our flats or rent a house. Whichever is cheapest.”

Dutch hummed. “That’s pretty close quarters.”

“Mhm. So you won’t be able to sneak into my room should you decide to come up again.”

With a laugh, Dutch gently ran his hand up and down your back. “I won’t need to if you agree to spend the odd weekend with me.”

“I will,” you relented.

“Promise?” he asked, and you pecked his cheek.

“Promise.”

End Note: Lemme preface this by saying I am not a professional on psychiatry or anything related to it, however, a common opinion about Dutch in the fandom is that he suffers with BPD or something similar. I agree, to the end that I had a family member with it and with a bit of extra research the symptoms do line up with Dutch’s personality. With this being a modern AU, I wanted to delve into how his life could’ve differed with the advancement of medicine and knowledge. That being said, I only have the internet to guide me so I apologise if any part of it seems inaccurate - please correct me if that’s the case! For that reason, I didn’t want to go too deep into it and be irresponsible, but I do love picking this man’s brain apart and it felt wrong not to address it at least a little. I’m not entirely sure how common it is for people with BPD or similar illnesses to reach a level of self-awareness like he does here, but I know it is possible in some cases, and with Dutch being rich it makes sense that he’d at least be able to get access to decent treatment. What we do know from R* is that Dutch struggled with being suicidal (if you haven’t played RDR1 or at least watched the scenes he’s in I highly recommend it) and it ties in well with his circumstance so again I wanted to touch on it.

#dutch van der linde x reader #dutch van der linde x f!reader #dutch van der linde #dutch x reader #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 #fanfiction #my stuff

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xexiar · 6 months

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I’m An Idiot. 3

Ch2 Ao3

——

After what happened last night, I still was in disbelief. Not only did I breakdown and spoke to Kacchan, but he also did something surprising. After riding that joy to sleep, I woke up with a troubling thought. What if this was another one of his games? What if he wanted me to get so excited that I returned early? I can’t let him get to me.

As I got out of bed, I reached over to my phone. Besides finally getting a text from mom, there was still the multiple unread messages from Kacchan. But I will deal with that another time. I first needed to check if Todoroki and the others were awake. Todoroki. Just thinking his name reminded me of the main reason I invited him and Ochako. Which had my chest start to ache. Even though it was my idea and I’m so grateful they agreed, it still felt wrong.

It felt shameful and dirty when I thought of this plan. But what else is there for me to do? Besides flat out lying to my own mother of what I was doing for my 16th birthday. Yet, what really was getting to me was the favor I asked Todoroki. Granted he did agree and said it was ok, but it all feels wrong. All of this felt wrong. My skin felt like bugs were crawling all over from the mere thought of what I was going to do this week.

It didn’t help with the thoughts that rushed through my mind. We’re not even together and yet why do I feel this way. Kacchan hates me. But what I was planning feels like I was going behind his back. Even though things are unclear between us, I have never lied to him. That’s the only thing that never changed. Regardless of how much he bullied me, we have always trusted each other. And now that I was going to do this what would this do to us? At that, why do I keep hoping for the impossible?

I felt as my tears burned down my face as I tried to compose myself. What is wrong with me? Picking up my phone again, I searched for Todoroki’s name. After texting to see if he was up, I went over to my book bag. I didn’t really pack many clothes for this trip, but what I had would have to do. Mickey did insist that I took this chance to use his credit card and buy everything I wanted. But what was it that I want? And then there was Sydney who said how I should try as much new things as possible this week.

Once we all gathered in the hotel lobby, I still felt sick to my stomach. I’m supposed to be celebrating my birthday this week, but everything just felt so wrong. And as I looked at everyone, I could feel the acid in my stomach bubble up. Damn it! I needed to distract myself. “So, what do you guys want to do first?”

“Since this week is all about you, why don’t you choose, Midoriya.” I looked at Tsu and I had to stop myself from throwing up. “Is something wrong, ribbit?”

I waved my hand out as I held my gut. “I’m fine. Just a bit over excited about this week.” Saying those words felt like someone washed my mouth out with soap. But what would I say to try to get out of this. That’s when I thought about how we had recently gone to the mall for the upcoming training camp. And since I had Mickey’s card, I could try to spoil my friends and myself. “Let’s go to the mall.”

As we walked around the first floor of the mall something caught my eye. So, I started walking over to this small, yet very bright shop. Out in the front were a few mannequins that wore these long robes. But the one that had my attention was this one black silk robe. At that, it had a very intense and lustrous Montana dust type orange lining where the robe opens up. Sometimes I am taken aback by how much time I had spent looking up color names when searching for the exact red that All Might’s Bronze Age costume had. And if I was mistaken, the robe was close to an ivory black or a darkest hour black. I bet Kacchan’s dad would know.

“What are you looking at, Midoriya?” That’s when I remembered I wasn’t alone. I quickly looked over to my left and saw that Momo was next to me. At that, my face started to burn up as I began to fidget with my hands. “Why are you looking at lingerie?”

“What!” I looked back at the robe before me and it’s then that I noticed something I didn’t see before. The bottom of the robe and the sleeves had that orange but as lace ruffles. Once again, I fidget with my hands. It didn’t help that not only was my face on fire, but my whole body was burning.

“I think it would super be cute on you, Deku.” Hearing that name had me feeling like my whole body became freezing cold. I looked over to where the sound came from and saw it was Ochako. “Oops. Sorry. I forget.” The way she started to back away from me was not missed.

I looked back at the robe before I decided to touch it. “It wouldn’t hurt to try it on.” Before long we left the shop with robe at hand. Along with buying a number of other articles of clothings. The girls kept giggling about how fun it would be that I did a fashion shop when we returned to the hotel. That had me feeling somewhat nervous. Especially when they mentioned how they would take pictures for me.

We soon jumped from one shop to another. Besides buying clothes, I did find this one out of the way shop that none of my friends wanted to go in. “Are you sure about that, Midoriya?”

I looked over to Todoroki before looking back at the shop. “I’ll meet you guys at the food court.” With that said, we split ways for now. So, I made my way into the shop. It was dimly lit, with purple walls. Some of the walls had, what I believe, were band logos. Maybe this place sold band tees.

As I looked around, I found the area where they sold most of their men’s clothing. What was nerve racking was how some of the pants and shirts were ripped up. There were even clothes made out of a net material. I think it was called fishnets. And when I got to their hoodie selection I couldn’t stop smiling.

Some had skulls, crosses, band logos, and even plaid designs. But the one that I couldn’t help feeling the fabric of, was this simple pink hoodie. It even had this cute cat-like skull where a breast pocket would be. What made it unbelievable was how soft it was. “If you like the feel of the outside, you’ll love the inner lining.”

That’s when I noticed that someone was standing next to me. They had bright purple hair, with shaved sides. They had multiple piercings on their ears and face. And the more I looked at them I started to chuckle. Especially when I saw they were wearing a vintage Captain American shirt. “Is this the only size you have of this hoodie?”

She walked over and looked over the hoodie before looking back at me. “What size are you looking for?” I easily told her a medium. She smiled as she placed her hands behind her head. “Sorry, but those only comes in Large and extra-large. Anything smaller you would have to go online.” Besides being slightly disappointed, I still decided to get the hoodie. That’s when I recalled the jewelry case by the center of the store.

Before long I found a replacement to my tongue ring, along with spotting an All Might bracelet. “Do you guys have any other All Might merch?” The way her face lite up was impressive. We soon were talking about superheroes as she showed me around the shop, pointing out very All Might merchandise they currently sold. I left that shop with more bags than what my arms could fit. “And you’re sure that the online store has more?”

“Hell yeah. Just last week I saw they updated about the Bronze Age All Might vintage collection.” I almost dropped all my bags as I now needed to grab my phone. “I reacted the same way. Oh,” I looked back at the girl. “I hope whoever you give that choker to appreciates it.” At that my face started to burn again. After I had gotten my new tongue rings, I had spotted the choker collection. Kathy then went about informing me about some interesting facts. Especially there’s a type of subculture that gifting a choker to someone is very meaningful. And I couldn’t stop myself from buying a certain choker.

“Thanks again.” With everything said, I looked at my phone. I was about to text everyone that I needed help with my bags, when I saw that Todoroki had texted me. I quickly answered him and told him what happened.

After eating and checking out a few more shops we finally went back to the hotel. When we got back, we decided to go to my hotel suite. Besides being the biggest of all of them, it also had this large walk-in closet. I did eventually asked Mickey about the room. It threw me off guard how the building was originally used for large military operations in the area. That was until the building was later turned to a hotel that militants personnels could use. In other words, the twins and other people in the army didn’t have to pay anything. But my friends didn’t need to know that.

Once we got to my suite, I had everyone waited in the main room while I went to the closet. In there I made sure to put the stuff I bought at Spencers in a close off section of the closet. Besides the obvious All Might merch I gotten; I did not want to explain to anyone about the other items I bought. Especially since none of them knew I had a tongue piercing and would be awkward to explain the jewelries. But I definitely did not want to explain or have them see the choker.

Just thinking about why I bought the choker made me both nervous and terrified. Even though I shouldn’t have thought about him, I still couldn’t stop myself when I saw it. If anything, I could alway add it to box of things I’ll never be able to give him. An if this week goes the way it’s supposed to, then hopefully I’ll finally move on.

But as those thoughts ran in my head, my chest began to hurt. I once again started to cry as I fell to my knees and grabbed the bag that had the choker. Hugging the bag, I felt horrible with myself. Why did it hurt so much? He hates me but I can’t stop thinking about him. He hates me! Why do I keep doing this to myself? It’s not like anything would change between us. No matter how badly I wish it did. Kacchan would never want me. He barely tolerates me outside of class.

“Midoriya, are you done?” Hearing Todoroki voice the pain in my chest worsened. Why did I think this would work? Would the plan even be able to work? I looked at the bag in my had. The plan has to work. I need to get over this. It’ll just keep eating at me if I continue to hold on. “Midoriya?” I hope Todoroki finds a pebble in his shoes and isn’t able to get it out.

After some time, I laid out all the clothes we bought today. And the girls insisted I try on the lingerie stuff first. Which some happened to be very awkward looking underwear. I held one up as I tried to figure out how this one was put on. It seems to be more of a just a cover. Especially with how it has all the parts of a regular pair of boxers without the back.

I looked over to Ochako as my face started to flare up. “Why would anybody wear this?”

“Would you rather try on the thong first?” My jaw dropped as she held up this piece of cloth with strings. “While you boys were looking at the fuzz slippers, us girls decided to get you a few extra pieces.”

I quickly grabbed all the lingerie and tried to stuff them back into the bag. “I don’t think I feel comfortable doing a fashion show now.”

“Oh, come on, Midoriya.” Ochako folded her arms and walked over to me. “I already told Momo and Tsu about why you wanted to have this trip in the first place.” I felt the blood drained from my face as I looked back at the other girls. Seeing how they both nodded didn’t make this any better. “I only invited Ida so you and Todoroki wouldn’t be outnumbered. So, at least try them on.”

It didn’t take long before I went about trying on every single piece of lingerie. The thong like ones gave me such a wedgie. How do people deal with these? But the other boxer-like lingerie wasn’t so bad. Sure, my butt was fully exposed, but I somehow liked the way I looked in the mirror with them. And thankfully the girls allowed me to use the robe during all the photos. I don’t think I could handle not having some form of full body coverage.

I did take photos of my own, when I was in my room alone. Since my room did have a full-body mirror. So, it gave me a chance to look at myself before dealing with everyone else. Which gave me the chance to see which lingerie I didn’t feel comfortable wearing around everyone. But there was one person I wouldn’t mind showing off to. I cursed myself every time I had that thought.

When the girls had me posing, for the photos it did leave me feeling certain things. Not that it was a bad thing. Just that, during those moments I couldn’t help imagining a certain blonde watching me. I still cursed myself out, but it did make taking photos so much easier. Especially the ones where I was fully exposed on the bed. I made sure Todoroki took those photos. Something about having me like that was too much to handle having the girls see.

It just felt so personal and I rather someone I trusted see me like that. Which Todoroki was the closest to that. If Kacchan was here would he have taken photos of me? Would he have liked what I was doing? Would he have touched me? Or maybe I was all wrong. Kacchan would have been disgusted with me.

After taking photos of me in lingerie, we went about me taking photos with my other new clothes. I was also grateful that they all agreed to only use my phone to take the photos. I didn’t trust them to not share with people of these moments. Especially the ones where some had clear evidence of me having an erection. And the way the girls were looking at me regretting so many things. I was especially regretting the whole reason I was in this hotel.

Thankfully the girls and Todoroki left after taking photos. Saying something about how they weren’t going to push me too far. Even though I felt I already crossed into dangerous territory. Especially when I decided to change back into lingerie that I really enjoyed. And as I went about covering myself in my new robe, my phone started to ring.

Listened to the ringtone a new wave of fear washed over me. He didn’t call me all day. Why now? I went over to pick up my phone, which is when I saw he was FaceTiming me. Oh, great! I quickly ran to the bathroom and closed the door. Once I was sitting on the floor is when I answered it. “What took so long, nerd?”

From what little I could tell, Kacchan seemed to be in his room. At that, it was well lit, and he was leaning against a wall. “Um… sorry about that. I was doing something.”

The way I watched as his left eyebrow rose made me even more nervous. It didn’t help with how I could tell he was trying to pick me apart. That’s one thing that never fails. Whenever I wore something that wasn’t school uniform, he had the habit of looking me up and down. I still don’t get why though. “What in the hell are you wearing, Deku?”

I held onto the collar of my new robe as I looked away. “I got some new clothes. And this…” My face started to burn up as I tried to figure out how I would tell him. That’s when I noticed the standing mirror in the bathroom. So, I got up and walked in front of it. “I’ll show you.” I quickly switched the camera and picked up some of the robe’s fabric. At least just enough to reveal my leg from my knee down. “It’s my new robe.”

I tried to watch for any signs of a positive reaction, but I somehow was disappointed there wasn’t any. In fact, Kacchan seemed to be get pissed. “Are you wearing anything under that?” Instead of answering I opened the robe just enough to show I had no shirt underneath. And I lifted the bottom some more to reveal just enough of the underwear. “What the fuck!”

“I’m sorry.” My whole body felt on fire as I returned the camera to my face. “It’s just that this feels strangely comfy.” It’s then that I heard him suck his teeth. “I have pictures of the other clothes I bought. Do you want me to send them to you?”

Kacchan sucked his teeth before sitting up. “Fine.” I then went over to my photo gallery and carefully selected the picture to send him. I tried my best to just send the photos I took. But there as one picture I just couldn’t resist sending. Especially since it was one of my favorites. With that out the way, there was a moment of silence as we waited for him to receive the photos. But after I saw his face dropped, I knew something was wrong. At that I watched as he started to grind his teeth, and I could hear him growling. “Who the fuck is with you?” The way those red eyes looked at me had me trembling. Oh no. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent that photo. “NERD!”

I couldn’t hold back the sniffling as I cried while trying to speak. “Momo, Tsu, Ochako, Ida, and…” The way Kacchan kept grinding his teeth sent me on edge. “Todoroki.”

I braced myself for what outburst Kacchan was going to have. But instead, I was shocked at how he covered his mouth. He still glared at me but kept still for a brief moment. When he removed his hand, I feared the worst. Nothing good ever happens when Kacchan is silent when angry. “Why didn’t you tell me the first time?”

I knew it. I’m in trouble. Especially with how Kacchan’s left eye was twitching. “I was scared you would bother them if I didn’t answer you.” His eye kept twitching. “For goodness' sake. You texted Todoroki when I didn’t answer you. So, I had every right to be scared.” It wasn’t a lie.

The way I watched Kacchan roll his shoulders before leaning back was an eye full. If he wasn’t angry at me, would that have the same effect as it does now. Especially with how he just glared at me. At that, I couldn’t help biting my bottom lip as I tried to not look at him. “Next time answer me and that wouldn’t have happened.” I quickly nodded my head. “Fix your robe.” It’s then that I noticed that the robe had opened up to where it had slid down my shoulders.

I placed my phone on the sink counter and started to adjust myself. As I did so I also spotted a certain detail poking out. Just great. This was not the time for that. Especially when the person who caused it will never accept me in that way. Just thinking about that had the tears return.

“What the fuck?” I picked up my phone and brought it closer to my face. “Why you crying about now?” I didn’t say anything as I looked away. “Did you eat?”

That’s when I looked back at Kacchan. “Yes. We ate a big breakfast here, in the hotel. We also enjoyed stuff at the mall. Before taking the pictures we also ate a big dinner.”

“I didn’t ask about them.” The way Kacchan placed an arm behind his head had my full attention. “What are you planning to do tomorrow?”

#mha #bakugo katsuki #fanfic #izuku midoriya #bkdk #bnha bkdk #bakugou x deku #bkdk fanfic

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bluesest · 2 years

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A Father

Otis was a 20-year-old man, however, not mature, he always likes to be with his friend Zack, who was also 20 years old, both were like brothers, Zack always invited Otis to his house, and Otis always invited Zack to his house, it was a normal day, when Otis received a call from Zack: "Hey, do you want to come to my house and eat something?" Otis was home alone and didn't know much about cooking, so with pleasure, Otis decided to go to Zack's house for lunch.

It was 2:30 pm, Otis rang the bell, Zack's father who was 40 years old received him there, they both already knew each other and had also developed a respectful friendship, the father said: "Otis told me that you were going to come, but you know that this It's also your house" behind the father was Otis, they both greeted each other and Otis entered the house, Zack's house was spacious, the first thing you see when entering the house was the sofa and a medium flat screen television, together with a staircase that goes to the second floor where the family rooms are located next to the bathroom, when leaving the living room, there is the dining room, a long oak table, behind the dining room was the kitchen, of the kitchen exuded a strong delicious smell, Otis went and saw a roasted turkey, along with salad and tartar sauce, Otis's appetite was instantly whetted.

Otis, Zack and Zack's father prepared the table, they put tablecloths, cutlery, and the turkey in the center of the table, Otis was the one who grabbed a turkey leg, Zack took another turkey leg, Zack's father was going to take a piece of turkey, but Zack interfered and said: "Dad, you know you can't eat this, that's why I bought salad for you to eat" Zack's father replied: "Don't worry, nothing will happen" then he takes a leg of the turkey and cooked it with a lot of tartar sauce, annoyed Zack said: "It's fine, but I won't take care of what happens to you" the father laughed, Otis didn't understand what they were talking about, but soon the topic of conversation changed Otis asked, "Where is your mother Zack?" and the father said: "He went on a trip to buy medicine, he won't be back until tomorrow", Zack added: "That's why I invited you, there is no problem if we are only 3 people, normally my mom doesn't let me buy this type of food, especially Dad."

Half an hour had passed, after lunch, Zack and Otis were ready to play video games in the living room, but Zack's father would prevent it, he said: "Zack! You have to go shopping at the supermarket more than a week ago, there are so many things to buy", Zack said:"I'll do it tomorrow, don't worry", the annoyed father said:"You know your mom will be very upset when she arrives and discovers that the pantry is empty", Zack reluctantly agreed, He said: "Otis I'm going to take about 3 hours if you want you can watch TV here and wait for me to come back" after saying these words Zack left the house, 20 minutes passed, Otis was playing on his phone, when the father came and He lay down on the sofa where Otis was sitting, this did not matter to Otis since many times Zack's father slept on the sofa at this time, Otis heard some gurgles that came from Zack's father, the father already lying down looked at Otis and said: "Damn, my stomach hurts", after finishing that sentence, the father grabbed or his stomach, he turned upside down and farted, it was long and dry, its smell reminded Otis of the smell of tartar sauce, the father with his hand fanned his butt and said: "Sorry Otis, he's out of me without warning", it was the first time that Zack's father farted in front of Otis, Otis felt a strange sensation and said: "Don't worry, it can happen to all of us".

After Otis said that, Zack's father fell asleep face down, Otis concentrated on the sensation he had experienced, he felt his heart race and his muscles tense, Otis didn't want to think about it much, so that he played again on his phone, 5 minutes passed when a fart came out of the unconscious father just as intense as the previous one, the sensation had returned, he did not know what was happening to him, 2 minutes passed and another fart came out of the father, this time Otis discovered what was happening to him, it was an indication that all men have when they see something that attracts them, Otis had an erection, Otis was quite surprised since he considered that farts are disgusting, half an hour passed and Otis he continued with the erection and the father continued farting while he slept on the sofa, he looked closely at the father's butt, and with remorse, he began to slowly lower their pants, that same step he applied with the underpants, it was a pale butt and something hairy, Otis grabbed his penis and brought his face closer to the father's butt, from the father a choked fart came out, Otis desperately sniffed the father's butt while groping himself, but this stage did not last long.

As Otis sniffed Zack's father's butt, a wet messy fart came out of it, then a huge explosion of diarrhea splashed on Otis's face, Otis went for toilet paper and saw the father's underpants and was shocked, they were full. of poop of a color similar to the brown of the turkey, there were several lumps and small green herbs, the shape reminded Otis of the ground beef cooked with BBQ sauce and some spices, the smell woke up Zack's father, surprised he wanted to go to the bathroom, but the pain did not let him move, the father said: "Otis, please help me to go to the bathroom", Otis's erection grew and without saying anything he grabbed the father's hand and helped him, the father said: "I'm really sorry Otis, Zack told me not to eat that since I have a stomach illness, that's why it was Zack's mother's trip", Otis comforted him, when they went upstairs, the father said:"Otis I need you to help me, I don't want to make a mess the house, and another anal explosion is on the way, put your hand on my anus and blocks diarrhea", Otis put his hand in Zack's father's underpants, there he felt several hot lumps, the texture was thick, Otis could feel a great wave of diarrhea coming out of his father's anus, when he got to the bathroom , Otis helped the father to sit on the toilet, several farts came out of it, they rumbled with the porcelain of the toilet, Otis looked at Zack's father's penis, it was big and a little hairy and it was stained with poop, The Father appreciated the help Otis, Otis left the bathroom, and behind the wall that separated anal blasts from Otis, Otis began to masturbate.

PD: This story was made thanks to the concept of a fan, if you want a story, send me a message with your own concept and maybe I'll make it a story.

#Diarrhea #Farts #Coprophilia #Father #Turkey #Asleep #Illness

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years

Text

let me be your ruler.2

Warnings: guns, dubcon, noncon, handjob.

This is a dark! fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairing: (dark!mob!) Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You try to forget about Peter but he won’t forget about you.

Note: I hate that I am the way that I am. I wanted to keep this to two parts but you know me.

Anyways, I’m excited for this and hope you are too.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Drowsy in the afterglow of sex and alcohol, you fell quickly into a deep sleep. You didn’t even change before you sank into bed. You hardly recalled the elevator ride up or stumbling into your apartment and tripping around the shadows to your room. It was only a fractured journey from the car to your mattress.

You woke as your phone vibrated under your pillow. You must have buried it there before passing out. You groaned and rolled over as you dug it out. There were several notifications next to a single name; Peter. You thumbed through each message; written in the same tone as his voice. Demanding, without question.

‘Great night, Princess.’ ‘We’ll do it again Saturday.’ ‘Wear something nice.’ … The messages escalated smoothly from doting to commanding. It jolted you back to the night before, the way he seemed to just thrust you through the night. The dress, the drinks, the men, the guns…

You sat up, your panties crooked on your hips. You muttered and swiped away the messages. You weren’t seeing him again. You couldn’t. You had stuck your toe in too deep already. It was best to nip these things in the bud. Not to let yourself get dragged in so far you couldn’t see the surface.

Peter was more than mysterious; he was dangerous.

You went to the kitchen and waited for the machine to grind as the scent of coffee filled your heavy body. You drank too much, did too much. You still felt Peter’s hand between your legs. It made your chest tight and your head spin. You looked down at your body, the red dress wrinkled and askew.

You left the coffee to brew and retreated to your room. You tore off the dress and your panties. You pulled on a cotton shirt and loose pajama pants. You stormed back into the kitchen and shoved the clothing in the bin. You snatched your phone from the counter and swiped up the lock screen.

‘Sorry, I don’t think this is going to work out.’ You typed. Your hand shook as you hovered over send. You heard Halle’s door and you pressed your thumb down. You looked up at her before you pulled up the block option.

“How was your night?” She asked as she inhaled the aroma of your morning ritual.

“Eh, you know, another dead end,” you pushed your thumb down and the conversation disappeared. “Just not my type.”

“Really?” She whined. “He seemed so nice. And he liked you so much.”

You blackened your screen and placed your phone face down. “Well, you know, things don’t always turn out.” You shrugged and pulled out a mug, “You want some?”

“Are you at least going to tell me about it?” She pouted. “And yes, lots of sugar.”

You poured her coffee and handed her the sugar dish. You frowned at how much powder she scooped into her cup but it was her most endearing trait. She knew what she wanted and she didn’t care what anyone thought.

“Uh, well, it wasn’t anything special. He took me to a party but… I don’t know. What kind of first date is that? Take me somewhere I don’t know anyone…” You ran your finger around the rim of your cup. “Maybe when I was younger but now.”

“You sound like such an old lady,” she snickered, “Oh my god!” She stood straight, “Are we old?”

“I am, but you’ll always be young at heart, Hal,” you rolled your eyes.

“So you’re not going to try a second?” She prodded.

“I don’t think so,” you cradled your mug, “He… hasn’t even messaged me back.”

You hated lying but Halle had gotten you into this mess and you knew she’d harp on you for not even giving Peter a chance. But you had. He wasn’t what he seemed and you didn’t want to stick around and find out what exactly he was hiding.

“What?” She huffed. “Well, fuck him then.” She sipped from her coffee and her lips curved as she swallowed. “Wait, did you…”

“Hal, come on,” you snipped.

“Oh, fine, but you know, maybe if you got laid, you wouldn’t be so uptight.” She teased.

“Not this again,” you groaned and slid your phone off the counter. “You know what, I got work to do.”

“Uh huh,” she hummed as you turned to leave, “Work. When did you get so old and boring?”

“One of us had to,” you called back over your shoulder, “And we both know you’re never growing up.”

✨

Your phone was pleasantly still for the rest of the day. You felt a twinge of guilt having blocked Peter but then you recalled the men and their holsters. You found your mind drifting away from your work and your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you thought back.

The company he kept added to the uneasiness in your chest. Steve was friendly but arrogant. The way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you, what was it he introduced you as, “Peter’s girl”. And that man, Bucky. He didn’t seem too fond of Peter but the way he’d grinned at you, as if he knew something you didn’t. Well, he did, they all did. Your head stormed as you tried to figure out their secret.

You shook off the curdling paranoia and hunched as you squinted closer at your computer. You made yourself focus as you skimmed the tight font and added your suggestions in the margin. You sent off your edited draft as your stomach groaned; empty and churning from the acidic coffee.

You grabbed your phone and your mug as you stood. You checked the time. Almost noon. You grumbled and went back to the kitchen, thankfully empty as Halle had left for work an hour ago. You set your cup down and expanded your notifications. A single phone call from a private number and a new follower on your mostly empty Insta.

You opened the neglected app and hit the notification. The profile was emptier than yours. the profile pic was just black and there were no posts. The name gave you no hints as it was obviously generated by the site.

You went back and a comment popped up on the picture of your and Halle at last year's winter market. ‘Gorgeous, Princess.’ You read and reread the two words as you leaned against the counter. You bit your fingertips and went back to the mysterious profile. You hit ‘block’ and locked your phone.

Surely, he’d get the hint sooner or later. It was one date and the man seemed to have no trouble with women. He’d move on and you’d both forget about that off putting night. You just had to wait him out.

✨

A week rolled by as you kept yourself busy with your work. The phone calls stopped after the first day and you had no more peculiar alerts awaiting you. Your plan had worked. It wasn’t exactly the best; it was a bit cowardly, actually. Yet, knowing how Peter was and how ‘no’ seemed beyond his vocabulary, you had more faith in your evasion than his understanding.

As the weekend approached, Halle convinced you to come out with the girls. You had eluded those opportunities for the past year as you found yourself disillusioned and disinterested in the club scene. You felt as if you were aging out of it and seeing all those fresh-faced coeds assured you of it. Even so, the girls liked to dance and in their words, you need to ‘let loose’.

You couldn’t disagree. You had been on edge and the mounting emails in your inbox didn’t ease the stress of everything else.

With a pre-drink burning a whole in your stomach, you pulled on a pair of flats as your bag hung across your chest. You were comfortable but not stuffy in your tight jeans and the bright pink top with the criss-cross straps. You felt pretty good and the vodka made you optimistic.

You headed down to the street and caught a cab. The dread evaporated the closer you got and as you pulled up to the front of the flashing club, Molly and Desiree waved at your approach. The four of you joined the line as you searched out your ID.

“So,” Molly said, “Halle told us about your little date!”

“Date?” You blinked. “Oh, yeah, that didn’t pan out.”

“Of course,” Desiree scoffed, “That guy was so cute though.”

“Yeah, he was nice, but we just didn’t…”

“He’s ghosting her!” Halle interjected, “Didn’t even text the next day, ugh.”

Halle crossed her arms and you nodded. You weren’t going to correct her, you didn’t need the other two piling on about your dormant love life. You came out to have a good time, that’s what they promised you, and you didn’t want to think about the night that still stood so vividly in your mind.

As you stepped up to the bouncer, he barely looked at your card. You were almost offended as he waved you through and carded the next party more closely. You glanced around at your friends but they hardly seemed bothered. Well, only Halle had reached that big three-o with you, and the other two girls still had a year or two to go.

Madonna’s voice pumped from the speakers as you neared the bar. You looked around at the streaming lights and the bodies shadowed in the strobe. You were surprised you recognized the song and you nudged Desiree as she waited for Molly to order the first round.

“What’s up with the music?” You asked.

“It’s retro night! Duh! Just for you!” She giggled and you elbowed her harder.

Molly turned and passed out the plastic cups with their thin straws and you followed Halle to the low stage where the smoke machine billowed. You coughed at the taste of the fog and sucked on your straw. You began to sway as the other girls led the charge. You could help but be enlivened by the deep base and the energy all around.

As you danced, the girls yelled back and forth about their recent drama. Desiree’s date had been more successful than your own, Molly was certain she was in love with Charlie? You still didn’t know. And Halle was just riding the vibe.

You finished your drink and the other girls stacked their cups in yours before you crossed the stage to leave the garbage on the table just beside the platform.

You looked over at the bar, pondering another, and your eye was caught by a figure who seemed out of place. The cut of his suit, the way he leaned on hand on a stool, and the intense gaze sent in your direction startled you.

You blinked and stumbled over to the single step down to the floor. You pushed through the bodies, nearly tumbling as a tipsy guy crashed into you. You got to the bar and looked up and down it. Girls waved their hands to get the bar tender’s attention and guys sidled up to them.

Bucky was gone. It was him. Maybe the air was filled with smoke and the lights were flashing like a siren, but you were certain. Why was he there? How had he found you among the city? Among the reverie in that club? Why had he been watching you? And where had he gone?

You went to where you’d seen him and searched the perimeter of the bar. You went back through the club and slipped past those just getting in. You tapped on the bouncer’s shoulder and he grumbled before he turned and bent to hear you. “What is it?”

“Did you see a guy in a suit leave? Dark hair and--”

“There’s a lot of people here,” he shrugged you off.

You snarled and turned back. You got ahead of the flood of new arrivals and fought your way back to the three girls on the stage. As you walked up, Halle pouted and grabbed your elbow. “Boo, we thought you were getting another round.”

“No, no, I…” you squirmed and tried to get back into the rhythm, “I had to use the restroom.”

“Well, how about now? Wanna refill the tank?” She jibed.

“Uh, sure,” you picked at the purse. “Be right back.”

“Make mine a double,” Molly called after you. “Thanks.”

✨

Despite drowning yourself in alcohol, you barely slept and when you did, you were back in the club, staring at a man you never expected to see again. You wondered if maybe you’d imagined it or if Peter had sent him after you or if it was someone else and you were just tipsy and blind. Whatever it was, you couldn’t shake the foreboding that followed you into the next morning.

Your Saturday was painful and lazy. You spent your hangover on the couch and barely saw Halle as she cowered in the dim light of her room. You fell asleep there and dragged yourself to bed just before nine. You really were old, or at least, getting there.

Sunday slapped you in the face after another night of disjointed dreams. Peter and the room full of men, Bucky at the bar, and static in between. Responsibility called you from your mattress and you cleaned up and dressed for your weekly trip to the grocery store.

As you came out, Halle was glaring at her phone. “What’s up?” You asked as you shoved your wallet in your purse. “You coming to the store?”

“I got called in for one.” She pouted. “Tell me why I fucked that asshole?”

“Shit, Hal, I’m sorry. Well, I’ll just do the shop myself.” You frowned, “Let you get ready to deal with all that.”

“It’s all because he fucking texted me on Friday and drunk me decided to reply and then… urgh, why do I do this?”

“I don’t know why you’re asking me?” You grinned.

“Oh, please go before I throw this at you,” she shook her phone, “And don’t forget my oat milk.”

“Whole milk?” You asked as you slipped your shoes on, “Got it.”

“Don’t,” she warned.

“Alright, alright. Hopefully I catch you before you go,” you stood and grabbed your keys from the hook. “Have fun with Mr. Bossman.”

“Shut up,” she buried her head in her hands, “Oh my god!”

You tried not to laugh as you left. You felt bad for her as you didn’t know what you’d do in her situation. Looking for a new job had been her first thought but the market was never very good and the man who was driving her away, wasn’t exactly a shining reference.

You took your usual route to the grocer. You had your list on your phone and loaded your cart. You filled the reusable bags and set off for a very inconvenient subway ride home. Your arms screamed as you carried the load up your street and struggled to find your keys at the door. The elevator was too slow and you ended up hauling it all up the stairs. You were out of breath as you got to your apartment.

You turned the knob just a little and kicked open the door. You stomped in and dropped the bags. “So, I got your damn milk--” You stopped short as your voice collided with Halle’s. She was already dressed for work but her braids were still loose. She stood behind the couch as she talked to your unexpected visitor.

“Oh, there she is,” she said snappily, “I wouldn’t blame her for kicking you out but I’ll leave it up to her.” Halle turned to you, “Look who’s here. Only took him a week to come around.”

“Hal,” you said softly as you set the bags down. “What--” You lowered your voice, “Why’d you let him in?”

“So he can apologize to you,” she huffed loudly and passed you to close the door, “Don’t you worry, I still gotta finish getting ready so you have lots of time to hear him out.” She looked at him sharply.

“Really, it’s…” You gulped as you peeked over at Peter. He sat calmly in the chair as he watched you. “Yeah, okay.”

She marched into her room and as her door closed, you reluctantly approached the back of the couch where your roommate had just stood. You stared at Peter, uncertain what to say. You hadn’t been prepared for this; for him to be there in your apartment, your home.

“Peter,” you ran your hands over the couch cushions.

“You lie to everyone you know?” He asked. “As I recall, I’m not the one who’s been… ‘ghosting’, as your friend says.”

“I…” You shifted and picked at the seam, “Look, I told you it wasn’t going to work--”

“You barely gave me a chance. Gave us a chance,” he said as he pushed his legs apart. “That’s hardly fair.”

“Well, you know, I have work and it’s just not a good time for me right now.” You sniffed. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but--”

“Ha, princess, I don’t hurt so easy,” he smirked, “Why don’t you sit down and we can talk properly… finally.”

You scratched your brow and cleared your throat. “I don’t think we need to do that.”

Your voice trailed off as Halle opened her door again. She swept out and you waited as she scooped her purse off the counter and sidestepped the groceries still sat on the floor.

“Gotta go,” she sang, “I’ll see you after work.” She stopped by the door as she wiggled into her heels, “Let me know how you deal with… him.”

“See ya,” you said quietly and watched her go. You looked back at Peter slowly as he chuckled.

“What did you tell her about me?” He wondered.

“Nothing. Really.” You said. “I have your jacket. You want it back--”

“Sit,” he gestured to the couch. “We’ll worry about that later.”

“No. Peter, please. I’m just not interested, okay?”

“You seemed pretty interested in the car,” he purred, “Seemed real interested.”

“I…” You looked at the wall and squirmed. “I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“You were asking for it in that dress,” he intoned. “Now,” his movement drew your eye as he reached into his jacket, “I don’t like playing things like this.” He pulled the pistol from its holster and rested it on the arm of the chair, his hand firm on the handle. “Please, sit down. Let’s talk.”

You stared at the gun. Your blood burned hot and you felt blindly as you came around the couch and dropped down. Your eyes never left the muzzle. Would he use it on you?

“Oh, princess, don’t you worry, I’m just getting comfortable.” He taunted. “Now, I’ve been tryna figure out where I went wrong. I got you a pretty dress, I took you to a nice party, I fed you champagne, and I even gave you a little dessert,” he mused and his lip curled, “So I gotta confess I’m confused as you why you’ve been hiding from me.”

You were paralyzed. You clutched your knees and gritted your teeth. You didn’t know what to say. You’d convinced yourself that you’d never see him again. Your method was tried and trued, at least, when it was used against you.

“Don’t be afraid. You can tell me. I really would prefer the truth.” His finger slid along the short barrel as he spoke. “So?”

“I… Peter, I don’t think that we would, uh, work out. Look, I don’t like guns and…” Your lashes fluttered, “I don’t really know that I wanna be around someone who carries one. Not too mention, your friends--”

“My friends. Princess, your mine. They won’t touch you.” He raised his chin. “They’re not that bold.”

You were silent. Your heart pulsed loudly and you took a breath. You stood cautiously and crossed your arms. “Peter, we talked. I told you my reasons. I think you should… go.” You said as firmly as you could.

He laughed again. His cheek twitched and the smile fell away from his face. He rose slowly and turned his gun to tuck it away under his jacket. His eyes never left you as he did.

“You really want me to go?” He asked.

You nodded and held your breath. “Yes.”

He threw his hands out and clapped them against his pants. He shook his head and crossed the room. You turned to watch him as he passed and suddenly, you were thrust towards him. His hand was on the back of your neck as he pulled you against him. He held you tightly and you felt his gun poking through his jacket.

He grinned, his lips only an inch from yours. “I’m going, princess, but not without you.”

“Let go of me!” You struggled with him. “Get off!”

“Princess,” he warned as his fingers dug into your neck, “Settle down.”

“No, I told you to go.” You hissed as you grabbed his wrist. “Please.”

“Let’s get this straight,” he said, “You don’t tell me what to do. Even if it gets me hard.” He crushed his lips to your suddenly and you wrestled with him, your teeth grazing his lip before he pulled back sharply, barely escaping a bite. “You don’t wanna do that.”

His hand went to your chin and he looked you in the face. He rubbed his nose against yours and growled. You beat on his chest and he squeezed tighter.

“Shit, let’s not just rush out of here,” he released you, “You should get those away before they spoil.”

He stepped back and placed his hand on the front of his jacket, where his gun was hidden. You gaped at him and your eyes flitted to the door.

“Ah, don’t worry, we’ll be on our way soon enough,” he said, “So long as you hurry up.”

You swallowed and he moved with you as you went to the bags. He blocked the door as you pulled the straps apart and began to unpack shakily. You dropped a can and it rolled along the floor before he stopped it with his foot. He kicked it back and leaned an elbow on the door frame.

You picked it up with several other cans and went to the cupboard. You snapped the door closed as you felt around the drawer with your other hand. You heard a click and looked to Peter as he aimed his pistol at you. He tilted his head.

“Don’t do that,” he intoned as your hand lingered just inches from the knives inside the drawer.

You went back to the spread of groceries and tried to ignore him as you put everything in its place. As you bent to fill the crisper, he purred, a sizzly ‘princess’ under his breath. You finished up and packed the bags one into the other. You left them on the counter and again, he put his gun away.

“Princess, let me tell you something,” he gripped the door handle, “I don’t take that out without using it very often so don’t press my patience.” He turned the knob slowly, “I’ve waited on you long enough.”

✨

The car ride was tense and long. Peter drove you uptown and you watched out the window helplessly. You rubbed your palms together nervously as they dampened with sweat. He’d taken your phone when you reached for it. He tossed it and it was somewhere on the floor.

He drove past the condos and the walk-ups and continued on nearly the exact path he’d taken on the momentous night. Another grand house awaited you but you remained in the seat as Peter climbed out. He opened your door and still you didn’t move. He reached across you to unbuckle the seat belt and grabbed your arm. He jerked you out onto your feet and sighed.

“Peter,” you begged, “What’s going on? Please, you’re scaring me.”

“Princess, have I done you wrong?” He asked but you didn’t answer. “I won’t hurt you.”

“You’re hurting me right now,” you wriggled your arm and he shoved you ahead of him.

“In,” he demanded as you stumbled up the rounded steps. “Now.”

You opened the door and stepped inside. You crossed the marble floor of the foyer as he directed you from behind. He followed at a pace, close enough that you couldn’t flee. Even if you did, you wouldn’t make it far.

“Pete,” the voice startled you and you stopped at the bottom of the wide staircase. Bucky stood in a doorway to your left. His gaze moved from you to Peter and back again. “I didn’t realise you brought company.”

“You’re still here?” Peter snipped.

“Was I supposed to leave?” He sneered. “You got me and Steve running around and you’re gonna kick us to the curb.”

“You don’t look very busy to me,” Peter growled and neared to rest his hand on your lower back. He leaned in and whispered in your ear. “Upstairs, turn left, the room at the very end. I don’t like hide and seek, you got me?”

You nodded and looked at Bucky again. His mouth slanted knowingly and his tongue poked out for just a moment. You turned up the stairs and left Peter behind. You reached the top and listened for a moment to his muffled voice.

“You and Steve do your fucking job and leave me alone. Understand. I don’t want to be bothered.” Peter snarled.

“Oh, I wouldn’t wanna be interrupted either,” Bucky snickered. “Not with her.”

“Go,” Peter barked. “Now.”

“Ay, you might be Tony’s man but you still gotta watch yourself,” Bucky warned. “This little arrangement isn’t gonna last forever…”

You went to your left and to the door at the end, like he said. You entered and couldn’t help but gasp at the immense bedroom. The black and white decor was expertly matched in marbles and exotics woods, plush velvet and polished sconces. You couldn’t help but admire the luxury.

You didn’t close the door. You glanced around dumbly and stood in one spot as you feared you might break something. You wrung your hands as you heard the steady footsteps and you spun as Peter entered. He looked even more agitated as he cracked his knuckles.

“Sorry about that, Princess,” he said, “Now where were we?” His eyes roved the room as he thought, “Ah, yes, an apology.”

“Apology. I…”

“Should I close the door?” He raised a brow, “You’d be surprised how sound carries in here.”

You frowned and he laughed as he swung the door shut. He neared you and bit the tip of his tongue as he considered you. His brown eyes bore into you and you took a step back. He stayed near and caught your wrist. His other hand fumbled with his belt and he let out a slow breath through his nose.

“Princess, I’d love to treat you how you deserve but you gotta be good to me too.” He pulled on your arm and twisted as you tried to resist. You hissed and he pushed your hand against his crotch. “I don’t forgive easy but I’m sure you can change that.”

“Don’t... don’t make me do this,” you uttered.

“Oh, but princess, you did this,” he pressed your hand around his bulge. “You take care of me and I’ll do the same.”

You parted your lips to argue and he grabbed the back of your head. He kissed you roughly and guided your hand to the top of his boxers. He slid your fingers under the elastic and urged you on, wrapping your fingers around his dick with a groan.

He squeezed until you gripped him firmly. He led your hand up and down as he held you to him, his hot breath filling you as it picked up. He forced his tongue into your mouth and you clawed at his jacket as he kept your other hand around him. He parted from your mouth at last and pressed his cheek to yours.

“Keep going, princess,” he purred as he slowly withdrew his hand from around yours. “You don’t wanna use your hand, I might think of something else.”

You quivered and slid your hand up and down his length. He nuzzled your neck and nibbled as he moaned against your skin. You could only move your hand as you stood against him stunned and rigid. He gripped your waist as you felt him tense and he murmured hungrily.

“Oh, princess,” he breathed and pushed his pelvis against your hands as he came.

You felt the slick heat seep down your hand and slowed until he was breathless. He stilled your hand with his and carefully eased your hand from his pants. He stood straight and eyed your glistening fingers.

“Shit,” he swore as he caressed your cheek, “You made a mess of this suit.” He dropped his hand to the front of his pants as he smiled. He inhaled and pushed his shoulders back. “I forgive you, Princess.”

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #dark peter parker #dark!peter parker #fic #dark!fic #let me be your ruler #mob au #mafia au #au #mcu #marvel #series #spider-man #bucky barnes #steve rogers #tony stark

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hyogonokitsune · 3 years

Text

faint -- suna rintarou x reader

here’s a continuation of this, and part 3 is here

back at it again with the suna smut, this time with some slight choking 🥴

the song suna plays in this fic is snow in gothenburg by kasbo, idk I just imagine that’s the type of music he listens to dsdskjfs I actually have a playlist full of suna-vibe songs that I listen to when I write this shit

2000 words

“I can’t believe I actually put in the effort to pirate this.”

“Shush, we’re not even halfway through, give it a chance,” you said, prodding Suna in the side with your elbow.

“Alright, fine, you little optimist,” he replied. He was trying to sound annoyed, but you could hear the faint smile in his voice.

To be fair, the movie was pretty terrible so far. You had been interested in seeing it for a while, so when Suna had told you at practice earlier that day that he had downloaded it you were excited to watch it with him. Disappointment had already set in, but you weren’t one to quit something once you had started. You were determined to suffer through it until the end, even if that meant making Suna suffer alongside you.

Besides, focusing your attention on trying to find a redeeming quality in the movie was distracting you from the fact that this was the first time you had been alone with Suna since you lost your virginity to him. You tried to keep your eyes on the laptop screen in front of you, ignoring how close he was. Understandably, you were a little nervous around him after seeing him, and being seen by him, in such an intimate way. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little frustrating that he seemed completely unfazed by it. He was treating you the same as he always had in class, at practice, and now with just the two of you in his room together, sitting side by side on the floor in the dark. He was the same cool, collected Suna.

He reached up then to scratch at his cheek, the back of his hand brushing up against your arm as he lifted it. The brief contact reminded you of how he had touched you last week, and you could feel your face heating up at the memory; you were grateful that the lights were off in his room.

“I don’t think I’m ever gonna let you pick a movie for us again,” he said when the credits finally rolled, snapping his laptop shut and standing up to return it to his desk.

“That’s fair,” you sighed, stretching your arms out in front of you. “That was two hours I’m never getting back.”

“Every hour of your life is an hour you’re not getting back.”

“Oh, Suna, your wit continues to astound me,” you said, eyes rolling as he sniggered. “It’s getting late, I should probably go.”

“Wait.”

You had been about to stand up, but you paused when he spoke, looking up at him in surprise at his almost forceful tone of voice.

“I heard this song the other day, I thought you might like it,” he explained, scrolling through his phone to find it. It started playing through the speaker on his desk.

“Oh, I do like this.” You shifted to lie flat on your back, looking up at the dark ceiling. Suna said nothing, only smiling at you before moving to mirror your position, his feet pointing in the opposite direction, head coming to rest next to your own.

Your eyes were closed, body relaxed. The only things you were aware of in that moment were the music and the sound of Suna’s soft breathing. It felt nice to just lie there, completely at ease, all of your other senses shut off.

When the song ended you opened your eyes and turned your head to face him, only to find that he was already looking at you. Has he been watching me this whole time? It didn’t even matter if he had been, because the way he was looking at you now made your breath catch in your throat. His gaze held such tenderness that you found yourself leaning towards him before you were aware of what you were doing. You kissed him, and without hesitation he returned it, pressing his mouth against yours earnestly.

“Rintarou,” you breathed, and in an instant you were both sitting up, lips seeking each other out hungrily, hands tearing off clothing with urgency.

It was chilly in the room, but Suna’s hands were hot as they roamed over your body. You wanted to feel him, have him touch you everywhere. It was never enough.

His lips traced a line from your mouth to your ear, teeth nibbling at it lightly and sending a shiver through your body. He shifted, intending to lay you back down on the floor, but you placed your hands on his shoulders to stop him.

“Rin,” you said in a husky voice, “can I try being on top?”

Suna grinned, both at your request and the blush rising up your face. He kissed you once before laying down, his fingers running lazy circles over the top of your thigh. Exhaling shakily, you crawled on top of him, hands on his stomach to steady yourself. You reached down to guide his cock towards your entrance, but your hand was trembling slightly out of nervousness.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” he said softly, the smile on his face almost painfully gentle as one of his hands wrapped around your own to help you. He dragged the head of his cock between the folds of your pussy, gathering up the wetness there before pressing it into you. With a sigh, you sank down onto him, taking all of him inside you in one go.

“God,” he groaned, eyes closing and head tipping back. “God, you feel so good…”

It was different with you on top; it felt like his cock was deeper in you than before, reaching a place that was already bringing you close to the edge. You moved your hips back, almost gasping at the sensation against your clit. Your movements were making Suna’s chest rise and fall heavily; the sight of him coming undone emboldened you. You grinded your hips against him, gradually increasing the speed, each moan that you were able to draw out of him tightening the knot in your stomach.

“Rin,” you panted, grasping desperately at his chest.

His hands grabbed your hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh. “What is it, baby?” He bucked his hips up into you, making you gasp. “You gonna cum for me already?”

“Sh-shut up,” you told him. It was embarrassing how close you were after such a short time. Suna was snapping his hips into you harder now, fingertips digging into you insistently; you could feel the bruises starting to form.

“You’re such a needy little girl,” he smirked, “I barely even have to touch you to have you creaming all over my cock.”

Your face was flushed from his words, and you were more than a little frustrated at how right he was. You had been thinking about him all week, and all it took was one kiss for your pussy to be dripping between your legs. “Shut up,” you repeated, breathing hard as you continued to grind against him, trying to focus on the sensation on your clit.

“I can feel how close you are, baby.” That smirk was still on his face. “Is it that easy for me to make you—”

“I said, shut up, Rin.” Without thinking, your hand reached out and wrapped around his neck. His eyes widened in surprise for a brief moment, but then he tilted his head back, exposing his throat for you, silently asking you to apply more pressure. Your fingers pressed into the sides of his neck, where his pulse was beating fast, limiting the blood flow to his head. He groaned, a deep, guttural sound that made your hips work against him even faster.

You were hurtling towards an orgasm quicker than you thought was possible. The friction against your clit, the way his thick cock stretched you out, the sight of him beneath you panting and moaning from what you were doing to him; it was all becoming too much.

“Rin, I’m s-so close,” you breathed, barely above a whisper.

“Me too.” His voice was as low as yours, his face flushed from your hand around his throat and the feeling of you riding him. “Please don’t stop.”

“I want you to cum with me, baby,” you told him. Suna moaned at your words, and the sound of it sent you over the edge.

Your pussy clenched hard around his cock as you kept grinding against him, panting hard and legs trembling. You wanted to shut your eyes against the pleasure, but you kept your gaze trained on Suna’s face.

“Oh god, I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m cumming… fuck,” he groaned. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, feel his warm cum filling your pussy. You released your hold on his neck, but your hips continued to grind into his.

The look on his face was so beautiful. His eyes were shut tight, brows drawn together under a sheen of sweat, his mouth hanging open as a string of curses and moans flew past his lips. His hands were gripping you almost painfully hard, the muscles in his arms and torso tensing as ecstasy washed over him.

“God, baby, stop stop stop, please stop!” he begged as the overstimulation became too much for him. You stilled immediately, leaning down instead to press soft kisses into his neck.

“Was I any good?” you purred into his ear.

“Yes,” he managed weakly, struggling to catch his breath. “You were amazing.”

You pulled away to look at him; his cheeks were glowing, strands of dark hair sticking to his damp forehead. You gently brushed them away, and the soft smile that he gave you made your heart melt. Suna sat up, pressing into your chest as he kissed you. One of his arms wrapped around your waist, and he used the other to push himself off the floor, his cock still inside you as he lifted you up.

“Rintarou!” you cried out, more than a little shocked at how easily he was able to carry you.

“Shh,” he hushed, setting you down on his bed. He laid down beside you and pulled the covers over your bodies. “Just lay with me for a bit.”

You stretched an arm out over him, wiggling closer to rest your cheek on his chest. His heart was pounding against your ear, still pumping hard from his high.

“Kind of embarrassing how fast we both finished, huh?” he asked with a self-deprecating laugh.

“A little bit,” you giggled in turn, tracing tiny patterns into his skin with your fingertip.

The two of you lay in silence in his dark room, the only sound coming from the heater that had finally turned on beneath the window. It was late, and although you didn’t have class the next day, you really should have been home a while ago.

“Rin, I should go,” you said, but you made no move to sit up.

“It’s already so late, you should just stay the night,” he mumbled, careful to keep his tone casual, but the way his arm wrapped around you to hug you closer to his body betrayed him.

You didn’t want to leave, either. It was warm under the covers, Suna’s body heat seeping into you, his scent surrounding you; the darkness of the room and the aftereffects of sex were making you sleepy. Laying on his firm chest with his arm around your body, you realized that there wasn’t any place else you’d rather be in that moment. It would be worth finding an excuse to explain why you were out all night the next day, and dealing with any ramifications then, if it meant you didn’t have to leave him now.

You snuggled closer to him, arm tightening around his side. “You’re lucky I’m tired,” you murmured into his skin.

“Mm hmm,” he hummed. His hand moved up to bury itself in your hair, long fingers winding their way through your locks. If you had lifted your face to look at him then, you would have seen the faint smile on his lips.

➣ masterlist

#suna #suna rintarou #suna smut #suna rintarou smut #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #niakasi writing

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mycrofts-gunbrella · 3 years

Text

Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Part 3 (Mycroft Holmes x Reader)

AN- Thank you for the patience for this one! My little boy has been unwell so it has taken a little longer than I had hoped but here is the third instalment! It’s a little shorter than the others but that’s because I wanted to contain the angsty part in one chapter, the next ones will hopefully be longer..

This one is a little more angsty, a lot more emotional, but I’m quite happy with the outcome and I hope you are too! As usual, please let me know any thoughts/feedback! And enjoy!

Word Count: 2510

"Is it just me that finds Stephen Fry a bit.. sexy?" You spoke, watching the television as Young Ones' Scumbag College competed on University Challenge. "I don't know what it is about him. He's just.. got such a lovely voice, and he's so sodding clever and his CLOTHES- got much better looking with age, mind." Mycroft only hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

"Hmm.. He's not really my type." You laughed and petted his head fondly.

"You don't have to be gay to find another man attractive Myc." You mused. "Me and Greg talk about it all the time, though he fancies Hugh Laurie more, especially in Blackadder." You laughed, thinking back on the memory of Greg's fondness of George in the Blackadder Goes Forth series.

"I'm aware that sexuality and attraction are not the same, Y/N. I am comfortable enough in my own heterosexuality to appreciate another man's features. In fact, I very much agree with Gregory's view on Mr Laurie. Stephen, however, is not my type. The few people that did speak to me in University used to tell me I reminded them of him in the way I behaved but, and I quote, 'without even a lick of his humour, you miserable bastard.' Thus, I cannot look at him in that way." He laughed a little and you cleared your throat.

"Oh.. uh, yeah I guess that makes sense. Not the humour part though, you're actually hilarious and they missed out big time." You tried to avoid the point where you'd deemed Stephen Fry sexy in every way he was similar to the man who was laying in your lap, and just hoped he wouldn't bring that up.

"He definitely got the looks side of things though, particularly as General Melchett in Goes Forth, though I am not particularly fond of the facial hair." He screwed up his nose in distaste, you fighting every ounce of your control to not say he looked a bit cute. "And certainly didn't have the waistline that 21 year old Mycroft had."

"Speaking in the third person now, are we? Well, Mycroft, Y/N is comfortable enough in her friendship that Y/N thinks Mycroft can be sexy in his own ways too." You teased, partly embarrassed, but equally just trying any way to improve the man's confidence, even by a little. Mycroft choked a little on his own saliva and had to sit up to regain his own breath. Too far? "Sorry." He shook his head 'no' but didn't speak. In his moments of regaining his composure, Mycroft watched you. Processed in his head what you had said- 'was it a joke?', he couldn't read anything on you that would suggest that, though his eyes were glassy from the choking- watched as you panicked, then subsiding the panic to concern as you made sure he was okay. All these things, he thought, he didn't deserve. He took a deep breath and reached for the television remote, pausing the show and settling back on the other side of the sofa. It had to be done now. Done while his brain was allowing it, before he got attached... before he got attached even more. He couldn't keep pretending it was okay, keep accepting your compliments and your kindness, couldn't allow himself to go any further in his.. attraction?

It was always unspoken between the two of you- your not so subtle hints to Mycroft over the last few years hadn't got unnoticed, Mycroft would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he felt the same way, though this was perhaps the most open you had been; he would always put it off, try to think of reasons why you shouldn't be more than whatever you are now- most of the time it circles back to work, your busy schedule at the Yard and his unpredictable working hours mostly, saying to himself that it would simply be pointless, that you wouldn't see each other. But he knew that was a lie- you see him as often as you can, even if it's just for an hour on lunch, and everyone knows he would do his best to move empires to have you over for dinner had it been a while, quite literally actually.

Then there was age, you were in your mid-to-late twenties, he in his forties, though that argument also fell flat after you had mentioned your last long term relationship had been with a man your elder, amongst many of your interests in celebrity males that you had mentioned being closer to his age than yours- and, on his behalf, it was usual for a Politician to walk into formal dinners with a younger woman on arm. In the end, it all went back to the real reason Mycroft put everything off, a reason he hated admitting to even himself. Mycroft was scared.

Having been the age he is with no sexual experience, no previous relationships, and not even many friendships, he was terrified he would humiliate himself and you would leave him completely. You were both adults, both clever, you both knew there was always 'something' there, but without you ever acting upon it, Mycroft decided to live his life keeping you as a friend rather than risk not having you at all. He felt guilty enough having you here anyway. He couldn't allow you to keep stroking his hair like that, or letting you sleep in his bed with him, hold him as he snored, when it was for completely other desires in his own mind, not without speaking to you. No, that wouldn't be fair- even if he didn't fully understand everything himself and was still incredibly scared. You needed to know the truth, about everything, and, if there were the slightest chance you'd forgive him, he had decided he couldn't wait any longer, couldn't put it off anymore, he wanted you to carry on doing those things, wanted to continue the nights you would stay in his bed. But Mycroft wanted it to change, he wanted to be able to start the night with a ghost of his hand on your hip, without waiting until you were asleep to bring himself to have that courage, to wake up next to you and not feel the awkward need to move so soon, just to stay a little longer. Christ, Mycroft wanted every cliché in the book with you, and it took him until yesterday to realise how much he wanted that, after nearly losing you. And he needed you to know, even if it risked it all.

"Y/N I-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I took it too far I was just messing about.. Not that I didn't mean it, I wasn't joking about you.. You are very attractive, but it was inappropriate.. I shouldn't have said it.. I just wanted to help.. though I don't think it did, might have made it worse, actually.. Didn't want to say anything and let you find out.. like that.. not that it matters.. because I AM happy JUST being your friend, over the moon, actually.. so I don't want you to think I ruined that... Because I know you don't feel.. like that.. and you're not saying anything which is scaring me a little because you're always talking.. Not that I don't like that.. I love you talking to me, you've got a lovely voice.. and.. and I'm going to shut up again.. sorry.. again.." You rambled, a lot, too much.. far too much. Mycroft tried to process everything, his eyes closing at every word. You were making this so much harder for him, admitting everything like that. Mycroft hunched forward in his position and braced his elbows on his knees, index and middle finger of each hand holding the weight of his head by his temples.

"No just.. Just stop talking for a moment." Mycroft snapped, cutting you off as your mouth opened to speak a little, the small jump back made his gaze soften. "Please." He spoke softer, apologetic. "I can't.. talk about that.. not yet. Not until you know.." You went to speak again but his head tilted, eyes containing a rare glaze of vulnerability, trying to stay in contact with your own but constantly dropping back to his lap- a silent plea to stay quiet, be patient and just give him a moment. And you did. Turning your body completely sideways, you crossed your legs on the sofa, hands resting folded in your lap as you encouraged him to continue with a brief nod of your head. "I fear if I don't tell you of yesterday's happenings in this very moment that I never shall, and that is far too selfish, even of me." He took a deep breath in. "But I just.. need a moment. A few, likely, throughout." You nodded your head again.

From there, Mycroft began to explain everything that had happened, told you of his sister, where she had taken him, Sherlock and John, what she spoke about, what she tried to get them to do. His voice cracked every so often, knuckles whitened as his fists clenches, creases formed in his trousers where he squeezed his hand on them, but you listened to every word and stayed silent- eyes welling with small tears. Mycroft spoke of the screen, told you of the snipers that were out there, targeting Ms Hudson and Molly. Your body stiffened as he added Lestrade to the list, feeling your throat tighten a little at the mere thought of losing Greg. Mycroft pressed on, told you about how Eurus tried to make Sherlock choose between him and John, told you how he'd tried to convince Sherlock to just shoot him, how Sherlock refused and threatened to shoot himself. His voice went breathless at the end of that, the idea of losing his brother so easily still fresh in his mind. You loosened your sitting position and leaned over, taking Mycroft's hand in your own and squeezing. He sighed again and closed his eyes.

"Please, don't." He whispered, trying to fold his hand into a fist to escape your embrace. You didn't let go and offered your other hand on his back in support as you watched a stray tear fall down his cheek. "I said don't!" He shouted, moving from your touch and standing up from the sofa, beginning to pace as his face contorted into more pain, another tear following the path of the last. You sat back, watched him, didn't take the anger to heart. "It was my fault! All of it!" He ran his hands through his hair and tugged, moving them after to wipe the droplets from his cheek.

"Myc it's ok-"

"It isn't okay Y/N! No part of any of this is even remotely close to okay!" He stilled now, posture going back rigid as he looked at you, eyes bloodshot and glassy. He told you of his Birthday present to Eurus- five unsupervised minutes with Moriarty- and started his pacing again. "A man died yesterday because of me. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly. They all almost died yesterday. You almost... you almost died yesterday." His breath hitched again, lip softly quivering at the end of his words. You tensed a little and frowned, confused and urging him to elaborate. "They weren't the only people on the screens, not the only ones with a red dot on their heads, Y/N." Gaze avoiding you now, turned completely to face the wall rather than look at you at all- giving him a chance to compose himself, steadying his voice. "I saw you, you were happy, just dancing and making tea, but at any moment you could have... and it would have been my fault. And I know I should have told you yesterday, it was selfish of me using you the way that I have without letting you know everything. You could have been gone before I could tell you everything, before I could explain how I feel about you, and it all came rushing to me the moment I saw your face on that screen. I’m so sorry, for everything, for ignoring everything, for being the reason you almost-" The last thing Mycroft had expected was the feeling of arms around his waist, the feeling of a head resting between his shoulder blades, soaking the shirt with tears. You sniffed, holding onto him tighter as you cried into his back.

"It's okay Mycroft." You spoke, voice croaking from tears. "They're okay.. I'm okay. And you're going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere." The relief Mycroft felt from your words ran through his body as he slumped a little, left hand holding on to where yours joined on his stomach, his right lifting to his eyes where, in a very rare moment, he allowed himself to weep.

***

Neither of you were too sure on how long you stayed like that, Mycroft being held in your arms as he quietly cried into his hand, you into his back, but it was long enough that your feet were beginning to ache and Mycroft had become silent a short while ago. You attempted to loosen your grip but Mycroft quickly grabbed back at your hands, holding them to him again. You changed your tactic and instead circled round until your hands remained together on his back, you now at his front and you gave him one last squeeze before guiding him backwards to the sofa, taking your place next to him but keeping your arms around him.

"I'm sorry." His voice was broken, quieter than usual. You shook your head and fought the urge to cry again.

"Don't." You spoke, sliding a hand down to hold his own that rested on his thigh. "Don't apologise Myc. You didn't do anything on purpose, you were just trying to be a good person.. a good brother. We're both still alive. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly, they're all fine, and I have no doubt that it was partly due to you that they are still okay- whatever the three of you did in there, it worked, and that's all that matters to me." Mycroft shifted, his eyes finding yours once more, scanning, searching, trying to find anything that showed you were lying, that you didn't trust him anymore, but he couldn't find anything.

"But I-" You placed a hand at the back of his neck and leaned forward slightly, your lips meeting his briefly for a few seconds before pulling back. It wasn't desperate, or longing, or out of lust- it was everything Mycroft needed. Everything that let him know that you weren't going anywhere, that you still wanted to be around him, to be with him. He relaxed but didn't speak, his hand beneath yours just turning to allow your fingers to lace together as he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. You rested your head against his shoulder, smiling softly as you felt his own rest atop yours before falling into a comfortable silence.

#mycroft #Mycroft Holmes #bbc mycroft #bbc mycroft holmes #mycroft x reader #bbc sherlock #reader insert #mycroft holmes x reader #mycroft holmes x reader smut

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arhvste · 3 years

Text

❝ kuroo tetsurō - tetsuhoe ❞

in which kuroo is confused by the ‘playboy’ image pinned onto him after a practice match at fukurodani much to you, his long term girlfriends, amusement

tetsu week masterlist

“did you see the captains for nekoma’s team yesterday?”

“oh their tall middle blocker with the bed hair? he was something else!”

“i just know he’s got girls crawling all over him back at nekoma. i think i’m gonna transfer schools!”

your eyebrow raised in amusement towards the girls nearby who were mindlessly babbling on about a particular rooster headed captain you were familiar with.

the high praise he was recovering in your classroom would certainly give him an ego boost, realistically though, these girls couldn’t have been further from the truth; you were partially thankful for that.

akaashi took notice of your entertained expression as he took his seat beside you in the unsupervised classroom.

“ah,” he clicked his tongue gesturing towards the squealing girls. “they’re talking about kuroo-san when they had the practice match here yesterday.”

you nodded towards your own school teams setter and smiled. “listen to them.” you hummed as akaashi leaned a little further on his desk facing towards the small group of girls nearby.

“what was his name again?”

“i’m not sure, i never got the chance to go down and talk to him!”

“whatever his name is i know it’s one i want to scream”

“you’re so bad!”

akaashi cringed at the rawness of these girls vocabulary. so they thought kuroo was hot? why they couldn’t just word it like that and leave it at that, akaashi would never know. he turned to face you as you pulled your phone out to discreetly record the girls fussing over your boyfriend.

“y/n, isn’t that a little... intrusive?” akaashi quirked an eyebrow towards your smug expression.

“this isn’t an act of jealousy but rather amusement. besides, aren’t they being a little intrusive speaking about my boyfriend like this? tetsu’s gonna shit himself when he hears this, they’ve mischaracterised him completely.”

akaashi nodded before casting his gaze back over to the girls before looking back towards you while you were texting the very boy the girls in your classroom were raving about.

“aren’t you bothered by it?”

you laughed and shook your head firmly.

“no no! not at all, i can’t blame them for being head over heels for him i mean, i fell for him too didn’t i?”

“by some miracle.” akaashi shot back to which you scoffed before turning your attention back down to the device in your hands.

you made quick work of sending the video to your boyfriend and captioning ‘can i tell the girls your name? they want to know for when you have them scream it’ before shutting your phone off and going back to casual conversation with akaashi before the teacher entered and the class simmered down for work.

back at nekoma, kuroo was currently scrolling through the multiple automated notifications piling up on his phone until your name caught his eye. quickly tapping the screen to open snapchat, kuroo smiled softly at the sight of the little purple square under ‘pretty one <3’.

he wasted no time in pressing down on the video to watch whatever it was you had sent him. turning up the volume, kuroo’s eyes widened a little at the caption you had typed out to go along with the video.

“scream it?” he muttered quietly to himself but not quietly enough to miss kenma’s ears.

“what are you watching?” the bleached haired setter asked bordly.

“y/n’s sent me a video but i don’t really understand.” he mumbled pressing down on the outlines square to get the video to replay once more for kenma to see what he was talking about.

kenma’s face twisted into one of disgust as he feigned a gag to kuroo’s offence.

“is it that unbelievable others find me attractive?”

“it’s not even believable y/n finds you attractive yet alone other girls.”

“you wound me.”

“not physically so you can’t complain.”

kuroo snickered before sending back a picture of himself with a puzzled expression and a grossed out looking kenma with the caption ‘kenma didn’t appreciate the honest content, glad to know the girls at your school have working eyes though?’.

he frowned after shutting his phone off as kenma took a seat besides him on the bench besides the court.

“that was weird, i don’t come across as that type of boy do i?”

kenma shrugged and pulled his own phone out, his attention now divided between his bestfriend and his devices.

“not here you don’t. the girls at fukurōdani just sound annoying and superficial minus y/n obviously.”

kenma muttered, his fingers tapping across his own screen.

“well then, i don’t suppose it’s matters too much then. i hope y/n isn’t too bothered by it though, as much as i love the praise, i don’t want it from anyone but her in that sense.”

“whipped.” kenma tutted quietly as kuroo smiled.

“that, i am.”

a week had passed and the two of you had forgotton about the fuss that the girls in your class had made over kuroo. there was no practice match to attend, but bokuto had insisted yourself, kuroo, kenma and akaashi all come over for dinner by the request of his mother and sisters who had complained how they hadn’t seen the four of you for a while together.

kuroo and kenma (kenma begrudgingly however), agreed to meet the three of you outside the entrance of fukurōdani to join you on your journey back to the bokuto residence.

kenma was reluctant to stand out in what obviously wasn’t a fukurōdani school uniform, but kuroo didn’t mind. it wasn’t rare for students from neighbouring schools to wait for other students after school hours as friendship groups outside of schools obviously existed.

kenma was leaning against the wall of the school gates and kuroo was stood beside him texting the group chat that the two of them had arrived and were waiting for them outside. his attention on his phone and not to those around him, kuroo failed to noticed the high pitched shrills of excitement ringing through the air at the sight of him.

“it’s him! the nekoma captain!”

“i’m gonna talk to him this time, do i look okay?”

“you look fine but i’m the one who’s gonna get his number so don’t get in my way.”

“you can’t say that! it’s whoever he picks!”

by now, kenma had picked up on the bickering of the girls which he considered impressive because usually he’d be able to block out anything outside of his psp.

“annoying.” he muttered coldly before doing his best to turn his attention back to his game.

“hi!”

kuroos head snapped up and he was met with a small group of girls that seemed to be growing with each student that left the gates of the school.

“um... hi?”

his face twisted in confusion as he silently begged yourself, bokuto or even akaashi to come out the gates and rescue him.

“so, you played here the other day didn’t you? you were really good.” one girl praised, her index finger twirling around the front strands of her hair.

“obviously he is. we go to a powerhouse school.” kenma muttered sharply more to himself than anything but it didn’t fail to garner a few dirty looks from the girls. not that kenma could’ve cared less anyway.

“uh thanks. you guys are kinda blocking up the path, you might wanna uh, go home?” kuroo suggested his concern growing at the same rate the group of girls were.

other students were beginning to take notice and while some girls added themselves to the group, other student shot kuroo an apologetic glance to which he half smiled back to.

“this is our territory, we’ll go home when we get your number.” one girl boldly stated to which other girls agreed.

“my girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate it.” he stated matter-o-factly.

the girls faces pulled in disgust and others humour while the ‘leader’ of the group scoffed.

“you don’t have a girlfriend. boys like you don’t settle so just give a few of us your number and eventually you’ll fall for one of us, although it’s more than likely going to be me.”

“actually, i’ve fallen for a girl already and i’ve fallen in deep. there’s no pulling me out so you might aswell run along no? are your parents not worried as to why you’re coming home so late?”

kuroo was growing more irritated than amused by now and he wanted nothing more than your hand in his at that very moment.

“stop lying and just give it to us. why do you treat the nekoma girls differently from us?”

“kuroo-san treats all girls other than y/n, his girlfriend of over a year differently. you’re not deprived so i suggest taking your leave before you cause any more disruption to anyone else.”

“akaashi!” kuroo smiled thankfully to which akaashi only nodded curtly before allowing you to walk by him wide smile drawn across your face.

“tetsu! kenma! i’m so glad to see you both!” you shoved past the shocked girls as you pulled yourself into kuroo’s arms as he happily accepted the gesture.

“i’m relieved to see you kitten.” he replied, the nickname stirring loss over the rest of the girls.

“whatever, you weren’t that hot anyway.” the main girl huffed purely out of embarrassment because not only had she been outdone by yourself, been rejected in public, but she’d also been told off by akaashi and his cold and flat tone did nothing to sugar coat the scolding.

“lying is a bad habit you know!” bokuto added earning a soft laugh from you.

if the girls weren’t embarrassed before, they certainly were now seeing as their own schools captain was now joining in.

“let’s just go.”

the girls filed down the street, embarrassment and regret written across their faces.

“why did you take so long?” kuroo whined as he pulled away to look at you.

“well, if there wasn’t a group of girls rushing through the halls to go see the ‘hot captain from before’ blocking the hallways, i would’ve been faster coming out.”

“i’m just glad you’re here now.” he smiled as the four of you began to walk down the street towards bokuto’s house.

“we’ve never had another captain stir so much commotion before, you must’ve really caught their short minded attention.” akaashi commented as kuroo told you all about the comments about him not having a girlfriend were made.

“yeah tetsuhoe.”

“what did you just call me?”

you snickered as you squeezed his hand.

“you heard me womaniser.”

kuroo groaned as kenma smirked at your teasing.

“you’re the only woman i want.” he sighed as bokuto awed at the two of you.

“yeah? good to know, glad i’m special enough for your attention.” you teased further as the others slowly began to join in much to kuroo’s dismay.

feigning annoyance was hard to do around you, but kuroo was just glad you weren’t bitter over the whole situation. he knew you knew you were the one for him.

playboy reputation or not, kuroo was happy just knowing you were confident in your postion in his heart.

and he’d be sure to remind you the next time he got you alone.

dt - @aislastetsu

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ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo fanfic #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #hq #hq x reader #hq x you #tetsu.week<3

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dracosathenaeum · 4 years

Text

Something Precious

Summary: You and Draco realise your feelings for each other when he ends up at the bottom of the Black Lake during the Triwizard tournament that you are a champion for.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!reader

Warnings: Some swear words

Word Count: 2,321

Requested by anon! I hope this meets your expectations 🥺 (I changed the wording slightly, so instead of Treasure, I used precious as it just fitted slightly better here, sorry if it bugs you :3)

“Don’t touch me you filthy little mudblood.” You sighed, why was it always you that had to stand up for the first years. You’d think that by now Draco would’ve gotten used to your scolding and would get bored of picking on the helpless first years.

“Draco! I told you to stop calling the muggle-borns that, lay off the derogatory terms you shit.” You were pretty much the only person (other than the golden trio) that would stand up to Malfoy. But you were however the only one in the school who he would actually listen to. The two of you basically grew up together so you were used to putting up with each other. By now you wondered if Draco only kept picking on the younger years to wind you up.

“I’m just calling them what they are, don’t be upset love.” He said with a wink and his signature smirk. You don’t know when it had started but somewhere along the line, ironic flirting had started between the two of you. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it though.

“I’m not upset Draco darling; I simply want you to take that stick on the floor and stick it up your arse.” Draco flushing a deep pink was worth having to call him these ridiculous pet names.

“Thank you, Y/N!” the little Gryffindor squeaked.

“You’re supposed to be courageous right? Malfoy isn’t even scary, he’s very… ferret like.” And with a wink thrown over your shoulder to Draco, you were on your way. You weren’t by any means popular or well-loved by the school, it was more like you had their respect. You were still a Slytherin after all, you just stood up for the ones Draco and other Slytherins were especially cruel to. Simple name calling you could turn a blind eye to but the hexes and use of “mudblood” was just unnecessary.

That was probably why instead of boos, you simply got applauded when your name was pulled from the goblet. You weren’t in it for the ‘eternal glory’ you were just bored at Hogwarts. These deadly tasks sounded like something to get your mind off of everything, besides now that ‘The Chosen One’ was also competing, you had extra motivation to win the whole thing.

That being said… Potter tipping you off about the first task was probably the single worst feeling you’ve ever had in your life. The feeling of owing someone, let alone Potter, a favour. But he had saved your life, without his tip off you don’t know if you could’ve won that task. I mean it was dragons, DRAGONS. But your victory meant firewhiskey parties in the Slytherin common room for a week straight so you wouldn’t complain too much. You definitely kept it to yourself though, the thought of the rest of your house finding out you were saved by Potter made you shudder.

“Surprised you’re still alive Y/L/N, though I suppose someone has to beat Potter. His head is big enough.”

“Don’t look so happy to see me Malfoy.” Sarcasm dripping from you voice.

5 seconds of eye contact was all it took for you to be pulled into his arms, a breathe you didn’t know you were holding finally being released. You allowed yourself a couple seconds to enjoy to be held, it wasn’t often that you and Draco hugged despite having grown up together.

“I’m glad you’re alive Y/N/N, I need someone other than mudbloods to make fun of.”

“Shut up Malfoy, don’t ruin this.”

“Don’t fall in love with me yeah? I know I’m hot but you’re not really my type, though being a pure blood does help.” Smacking his chest, you pulled away from his hold. “God you are insufferable, now help me figure out how to work this stupid egg so I can tell Potter and not have to owe him anymore.” Draco was your one exception to the ‘tell no one that you owe Potter rule’ you set yourself, besides, you couldn’t hide anything from him. He’d find out sooner or later.

You had spent weeks with that egg, trying to figure out how to open it without the deaf-curdling screams. It was only when you convinced Draco to sneak you into the prefect’s bath (nothing in that dingy castle could compare to the prefect’s bath), that you figured it out. Though it took an awful lot longer to decipher it but being even with Potter again made every blood-curdling screech worth it.

The yule ball was a whole other catastrophe. Watching couples slow dance for hours on end sounded like utter hell to you, which is why you practically threw a fit when you were told champions had to lead the first dance.

“Draco stop laughing at me, they want me to dance; they want me, me to hold some guy against me and dance in front of 3 schools. I was content to stand by the food and make fun of the Weasley’s tattered robes or Potter’s awkward dancing but now I actually have to join in? I should just quit now.”

“You fought dragons Y/N; a dance is nothing. Besides we’ve been going to balls for years, you should be used to it by now.” He did have a point, maybe all those long boring parties your parents would throw would finally serve a purpose for you.

“Pansy’s been trying to corner me for weeks, honestly I’d rather slow dance with your flat arse than hers. Besides, then we could make fun of Weasley together.”

You thought it over but not for very long, you knew he’d be the only one you’d willingly go to the ball with, well the only one you could tolerate for so long that is. Besides, the two of you had made it through countless balls together, what’s one more.

“Fine, but you’re buying me a new dress.”

“What? That wasn’t an invitation? I was just joking. Hang on, you have just as much money as me! Pay for your own damn dress.” You turned and made your way to the girl’s dorms, blowing a kiss towards the flustered blonde on the sofa. “Make sure it’s velvet or silk, nothing cheap either, else I’m telling you mother.”

And that’s how the both of you went to the Yule Ball together. Waltzing like you had done for so many years in the Malfoy manor and stuffing your faces, as you made fun of Ron Weasley’s robes and Potter’s pathetically sad looking face. Though you had to admit, Hermione was the focus of the night, no matter how good you looked in the dress Draco got for you, there was no denying all eyes were on her and the Durmstrang champion. As you climbed into the bed that night, a soft smile stretched across your face, the Yule ball wasn’t so bad with Draco as company you supposed.

===========================================================================

Which brought you to where you are now; stood in the freezing cold ready to dive into the equally freezing water. Calming yourself, you ran through your plan again. Cast the bubble-head charm, collect whatever ‘precious item’ Dumbledore was talking about and once you were out you would find Draco Malfoy and kill him. He had promised he would be there to help you prepare the night before; yet you spent the entire evening alone in the Slytherin common room waiting like some bloody girl being stood up.

You knew you weren’t traditional friends (if you could even call yourselves that) but you thought at the very least he’d be there for you when you really needed him. Swimming had never really been your strong point after watching your cousin drown during your childhood, but that was a story for another day. After all these years, you really thought despite everything he’d be with you when you needed him most.

The canon went off, startling you from your thoughts as you quickly cast you charm and dove into the water, taking a second to adjust to the freezing water and calm your nerves. You really should have learnt a body warming spell. You watched as the other 3 swam straight through the village and watched as Fleur was attacked by Grindylows. “Better her than me.” You thought.

You swam through the murky water and eerie village until you reached four figures afloat in the water. You swam toward them and recognised Weasley and Granger straight away, of course the golden trio would be making an appearance even here. Yet it was the mop of blonde hair that made your heart skip. ‘Something precious has been taken from you.’ Draco was your precious something!? You saw a young girl next to him, probably Fleur’s sister. Why was it Draco who was taken? Why wasn’t it your own sister who was just 3 years younger than you? God you were going to get an earful from the both of them after this.

Swimming closer you realised how gaunt he looked, you felt like you’d never truly looked at his face til this moment in time. Not even when slow dancing that night at the Yule Ball. He looked so different yet so similar to when you first met him at the age of 5. Both of your parents cooing as tubby little Malfoy held his tiny hand out to ask you for a dance.

For once he looked peaceful, rather than the sneer he always had at Hogwarts or his blank look at home around his parents and yours.

You slashed his bonds with a nearby rock, deciding to just get out of the water as soon as possible, you couldn’t bear to be in the water with your heart thumping this fast any longer. Turning to give one last look at Potter you could see the disgust on his face as he stared at the unconscious boy in your arms. You threw a glare and the rock at him before swimming away, feeling slightly sorry for the poor French girl left behind.

You were the first to break out of the water, Krum following shortly behind.

“What?? Where am I? Y/N?!” Draco spluttered, coughing the water from his lungs before wrapping an arm around you and keeping the both of you afloat.

“You can ask questions later, I’m exhausted, can you please just swim us back to the stands.” He didn’t need more instructions, knowing you hated the water, he pulled you against him as he swam straight for the closest stands.

Everyone cheered as the both of you were pulled from the water and wrapped in towels. You had won first place but that was the last thing you were thinking about.

“Draco is your precious item? I always knew there was more going on between you two than you admitted!” You could kill Blaise then and there, you decided. Though you supposed the glare you received from Pansy was worth the humiliation, just a little.

“Y/N? What’s Blaise talking about? All I remember is Professor Snape asking to see me last night as I was walking to meet you in the common room and the next thing I know I’m freezing my ass off in the water with you. I mean is it even legal to do this to a student? My father will be hearing about this.” You could barely meet his eyes at this point, you were just as confused as he was, but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his last comment.

Did you have feelings for Draco? Sure, you grew up together and had a love-hate relationship the whole time but that was the extent of it. You didn’t like Draco, surely, you’d know right?

“Something precious was taken from each of us, Krum got Granger; Potter, Weasley; and Fleur got her sister. I guess Dumbledore thought your sorry arse was precious to me or something.”

“Oooo does my darling Y/L/N have a crush on me? I thought you- and I quote- hated the sight of my stupid face?”

“In your dreams Malfoy, now shut up I want to hear them announce me as the winner.” In reality you could care less about the announcement, just wanting to change the subject as fast as possible. Your eyes went to Potter, along with everyone elses, as he shot out the water like a bloody dolphin. You would give him credit where credit was due though, saving just Draco was hard enough, Potter had saved both Weasley and the Delacour girl.

“You know, if you wanted me all you had to do was ask? Obviously, I’m very attractive and my father is very important but don’t be intimidated-”

“Shut up you git.” God if he wasn’t going to shut his stupid mouth, you’d make him, one way or another. The ‘other way’ as it happened was you grabbing his face between your palms and pressing your lips to his.

Draco wrapped his arms around you to pull you closer, deepening the kiss. You giggled into the kiss as everyone around you cheered; you didn’t think you were a fan of PDA but after kissing Malfoy, you couldn’t care less. You pulled away and nuzzled yourself into him, the both of you still ice cold from the swim but hearts beating fast.

You never thought you’d get a boyfriend from this tournament but being there in his arms, despite freezing your ass off, you were happier in that moment than you had been in a long time. There was nowhere you’d rather be.

“Be my girlfriend?”

“Shut up and kiss me Malfoy.” You both smiled into the kiss, loving how natural it felt to be with him like this. Completely ignoring the winner’s announcements and instead focusing on how happy you felt.

Life was looking more bearable by the second.

Well until you got killed by Voldemort that is.

I See The Light can be read as a loose sequel describing this moment

#A/N: I literally had the HP wiki page open the entire time, it’s my first time writing a changed story line, something with a proper plot. I hope it was okay, please let me know if I got anything wrong or if something should be improved! Also sorry for the crappy ending :33

Thank you for reading!

Add yourself to my taglist!

#draco #Draco Malfoy #draco x reader #Draco Malfoy x reader #harry potter #triwizard au #triwizard cup #triwizard tournament #Harry Potter fic #Draco Malfoy imagine #draco fic

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sagemusesoutloud · 3 years

Text

Anti-Romantic, Part 3

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader

Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff, Angst

WordCount | 2.5 k

Author'sNote | I know I promised this would be up Monday, but life has a funny way of getting in the way sometimes. I honestly don't know what came over me, but I woke up at 3 am and just HAD to write this down. Hope you like it ^^

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Sorry I’m an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up with a small flame

You begin to regain consciousness as the pain in your neck increases. Ugh, this is why you brought your pillow from home. Rolling your neck in the other direction, you reach your hand over from the warmth to fluff the pillow when you feel movement under you.

You freeze and open your eyes, the light so bright that you immediately shut them again. Once your watery eyes calm down, you try opening one at a time. The sun was shining directly on you from the window behind you, you’d guess it was probably early morning. What shocked you into panic mode was the fact that you were still on the sofa and not in the guest bedroom like you had planned last night. Lightly lifting your head, you peek over at Jae to find him still sleeping.

Sometime during the night, both of you must have shifted to a laying position on the couch. Jae was still under you, his arms wrapped around your lower back. Well, there are worse things to wake up to. But now that you were up, so was your bladder. Do you just get up and leave? You didn’t drink that much water; you eyed the half empty water bottle on the coffee-table. Yeah, you could hold it. You relax your body and plan to drift off again when you feel Jae’s chest move with a deep breath, stretching an arm over his head. Crap, maybe I should have moved earlier…is it gonna get weird? Will he be mad?

You’re so deep in thought, it takes you a while to realize he’s not pushing you away but pulling you closer. He places his arm back, this time cradling your head as he peeks at you. “You’re awake?”

“No, I’m sleep-talking.”

You feel him rather than hear him chuckle. He rolls you both over so that you’re lying side by side and able to see you better.

“We fell asleep on the couch…did you sleep ok?” the sun hits half of his face, one of his eyes shining a deep honey color. Even the dust motes help make him look ethereal. Curse him for looking so beautiful first thing in the morning.

“hmm, yeah. Don’t get too close though, I have eye-boogers,” you try to bring the blanket up from your waist but it’s stuck so you opt to covering your eyes with your hands.

“shut up, as if it weren’t normal,” he groans as he pulls you into his chest. “It’s still early, just go back to sleep.”

“I can’t”

“…You can’t?”

“no”

“oh…” he lets you go and scoots as far back in the sofa as he can, “sorry.”

“I’m just gonna go freshen up,” you say as try your best not to fall flat on your face trying to untangle from the blanket, “I’ll be back.” Your only response is a groan before he presumably falls right back to sleep.

As you take care of your business, you can’t help the heavy feeling in your chest. What you were both doing, was it wrong? Did something change or are you overthinking things? It’s happened to you before, where you get too ahead of yourself and end up in misunderstandings. You wanted to enjoy whatever step it was that you both took together last night, but you needed that reassurance or confirmation that it wasn’t all just in your head. Jaehyun would never hurt you, not intentionally. But his cold exterior had been known to break a few hearts here and there throughout your childhood. Heck, even at work nowadays. Now that you think about it, the only times he’s hurt you he hadn’t even been aware of it. You desperately wished you could just waltz right up to him and demand answers; you just didn’t want to make yourself look like a fool for diving straight in to the ‘something more’ stage.

Up until the night before, you had been content with the game of push and pull and if someone would have told you yesterday that what transpired the night before would happen, you would have thought they were joking, but…they do say that the body makes known what the heart wants. You were still in a mess when you realize that you’d been washing your hands for long enough that the water ran cold. You decide that now was a good time as any to wash your face and brush your teeth, combing your fingers through your hair. If he wasn’t going to say anything, why should you? Yeah, this is all probably too much too soon to mean something more, so you were just going to enjoy it while you can. If anything, this could be like a free trial before committing to the long-term subscription. Yeah, that’s simple enough.

You get back to the living room to find Jae still on the couch. An arm covered his face blocking the sun and the other splayed out next to him, an invitation. Or was it? Stop it. You can’t be the one to blame when he’s taking up the whole space. You pick up the blanket from the floor and lay it half on him, leaving an opening for you to slither into. Leaning over the sofa, you move the sheer curtains to cover half the window. they didn’t do much but Jae did move his arm in alarm at the change of lighting, “oh, you’re finally back.”

“yup, all good now.” You nudge your way back into his chest as you laid down facing the room. If you really were going to sleep, you don’t know how much rest you’d be getting if you were facing him again. “good, we can sleep an hour or two more,” his arm reaches around you to pull you even closer, “don’t want you to fall off.”

And there it is, the ‘excuse.’ Is that all this was?

It all felt so intimate and personal. Jaehyun wasn’t sure if the excuses he kept giving you since last night were even believable anymore. He just couldn’t get enough of your closeness. Like a man starved, he kept drinking in the sight of you next to him, the feel of your body along his. This had officially been his best birthday to date.

He was aware that some deep, deep part of him was tensed up waiting for something to go wrong or to bolt at the first chance. But for once, his heart was louder than those thoughts. He wanted this, he wanted to have you. All of you. In turn, he wanted to give you all of him as well. That’s what scared him the most, he’s known he’s wanted you since forever, but the fact that he needed to you to embrace all of him? That he needed you to be his safe space?

In a way, he’s always known about all of this. It’s why he’s kept you at a distance for so long, but maybe he was finally ready to open up to you and be completely honest and vulnerable. Fuck, he can’t even believe it took him this long to actually do something about it.

You both wake up later in the morning. Jaehyun’s preparing coffee while you whip up breakfast, an easy pattern you both fall into. He’s not sure if the silence is a comfortable one or a heavy one, but you did seem to be in a good mood. While he’d gone to freshen up, you had connected your phone to the Bluetooth speakers and had a light melody playing. He makes a mental note to ask you over more often, he would gladly become a morning person just to see you fit so seamlessly in his home.

As you both settle down to eat, he hears you let out a gasp, “I forgot!”

“What is it?”

You whine, “aww, I wanted to give it to you on your birthday. It’s the whole reason I needed to see you.” You get up and dash over to the guestroom before he can even stop you.

“So you didn’t come just to spend time with me? Ouch,” he zeroes in on your form, hiding something behind your back. “Don’t tell me you got me flowers.” Your smile drops.

“No, they’re not flowers,” you roll your eyes. You pull his arm out, guiding your hand down until you grasp his hand. He hopes you don’t see the way he shivers at the contact. “Here,” you place the red-velvet heart-shaped box in his palm. He gasps, “oh.”

For a moment, he doesn’t know how to react. Is this what he thinks it is? No, you couldn’t possibly have, you for sure would be way more nervous if you did. But it did look like jewelry, expensive jewelry. “well, are you gonna open it?”

He wordlessly lifts the lid and finds an exquisite bracelet inside. Jaehyun wasn’t much of a guy for jewelry, but it was simple enough to be worn as everyday type of accessory. It was a thin silver type of chain, the clasp had his initials and a heart hidden on the inner-side of it. “Just so you know, the heart was part of the model,” you begin explaining, a nervous shake to your voice, “but I did ask them to engrave your initials on it to personalize it. You don’t have to like it, like I said, I saw it while out shopping and thought of you.” He glances at you to find your ears red but your expression was drawn. Fuck, were you even real?

He hands you the box back, for a second, he sees your shoulders deflate before clarifying, “I’m gonna need some help to put it on.”

“Why do you always tease me?” but you concede his request, taking out the chain carefully and pulling his wrist closer to you. Because I love you…

Because this is the only way I can show you affection without scaring you…

“Because I love your reactions.”

You let go of him as you finish your work, inspecting the way it looks. “I’m glad I knew your size,” you mumble, “it fits you perfectly.” He doesn’t miss the way he feels it weighing down his wrist. Was it a comfortable weight?

“Of course it does, you got it for me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” your eyes are piercing his, no doubt that your thoughts are probably going a hundred miles per hour. “What I just said,” his eyes are staring you down, “anything you give is perfect to me.” You weren’t going to make him spell it out for you, right? Not after last night.

You frown at that, “what if I don’t want to ‘just’ give you this?”

He finally looks away as he finds the courage to say, “what are you willing to give?” He’s treading carefully, he can’t mess up now.

“I don’t know.”

That stings. Are we back to playing games? So soon?

He’s tired of it. Forget tired, he’s exhausted from it. And all it took was one night to help him realize that he really doesn’t want to continue playing, not when it comes to you.

“Then, I would be happy for the time you spent together with me last night. I would be grateful it happened but I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable being that close to you again.”

Did he just say that? Maybe this was all a dream still. A cruel nightmare.

So he doesn’t want to move things further, is that what he’s saying? After all the moments you just shared, that’s all he’s got to say to you?

“I’m sorry I crossed the line then,” you need to go. Before you say something more and before he sees the tears that are just itching to be released.

You force out a laugh, “but thank you for being honest, I guess.”

You grab your plates and move towards the kitchen. Almost there, please don’t fall. He will not see you cry. God, you knew this was getting too good to be true. You knew it had to be a trick, you were back to square one! Man, you felt so stupid now. Did you really think one night would change everything?

You don’t realize he’s quick to go after you, grabbing your arm to face him. You let the plates crash on the sink, the sound startling him as you push his hold off you. You almost make it out the kitchen when he pulls you back again, this time pushing you against the counter standing chest to chest.

“No, you’re not listening to me.” He grabs you by the shoulders. Your heart is pounding furiously against your ribcage. You finally break down, “No, you’re not being honest.”

“If you had told me last night that I make you uncomfortable, I would have respected your boundaries, Jae.” You push down a sob, “If you had no intention of—of being that close—” You can’t even find the right words to express yourself. You spent so much time thinking about what you wanted to say earlier and now you couldn’t recall a single sentence.

He cuts you off with groan, “How can I make myself any more clear? What do you want me to say?” He lets go of you and takes a few steps back, “that it scares me? How much you know? How much you hold over me?”

“Hold over you?? You keep me at a distance! You always draw the line! Even last night, all you could do was excuse each and every one of your actions. What, you thought I wouldn’t catch that?? You don’t leave room for misunderstandings; you are crystal clear.”

You get close enough to poke his chest, “YOU—it was always you! I’ve always just been happy to go along at your pace. FOR YOU. And for years, too. So no, YOU don’t get to throw it back in my face like that. YOU—”

He pushes your hand away, “Me?! Ok no, you’re joking right? This push and pull cycle? I’m not the only one to blame and you know it! What about all those relationships you’ve been in? All those relationship questions you’d ask me, literally just a few weeks back! This is not entirely my fault either. Because guess what sweetheart, it takes two to tango.”

You’re so angry at upset, because how dare he?! Was he not the one that would sleep around in high school? The one that decided to study in a different freaking country?! Leaving you and your friends behind? Leaving the sport he oh so loved behind? He’s just running away again.

You don’t realize how hard you’re breathing and how close you’re standing until you can literally feel his breath on your lips. It’s the whisper you barely catch against the loud ringing in your ears, “You want me to be honest?”

You freeze.

“I’ll be honest with you, you can’t fault me for what I honestly need to do.”

Who made the first move, you’re not sure. But the moment his lips touched yours, it was game over.

EndNote | hahahaha... and there it is. Will there be more tension or are they finally gonna stop being so stubborn?? I honestly don't know, but this has to have been my favorite chapter to write 🙊

In the future, is it ok to post short but daily? Or would people rather I post the whole story in a single post?

Previous: Part 2 | Next: Part 4

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smolkooks · 3 years

Text

how long, pt ii - j.jungkook

pairings: reader x jungkook, established relationship!au, non idol!au

word count: 1.6K

content and warnings: angst, low-key couple fight, breakup, mentions of cheating, heartbreak, mild cursing

summary: your nonchalance broke him more than anger ever could.

(note: please do not plagiarise my work! all character/idol representations are purely fictional! this is part two of ‘how long’...part i is linked here. sorry this took so long...hope you guys like it though <3)

my masterlist

***

You weren’t sure when you last saw Jungkook in the apartment.

It was odd; neither of you wanted to confront the conflict and so it had faded away into the background of your daily lives once more.

You spent hours curled up in bed before you fell asleep, crying—the only time you allowed yourself to think about him. It was stupid that you refused to talk to him—that he refused to talk to you—and you knew that. The relationship you’d once had was but an aching pain in your chest now, and you wondered if he felt the same, wherever he was going every night now.

Foolishly, you hoped that it wasn’t the other girl’s house, even though you knew it was the only other place he could go. His family was in Busan, his old friends had moved out of Seoul—the only other place he could go was hers.

Even your coworkers seemed to notice your drab mood which only seemed to deteriorate each day. As somebody who’d always been known to be the cheerful one in the office, it was odd to not be excited about things you’d once looked forward to.

Heartbreak worked in strange ways, you supposed.

The initial numbness wore off within a few days and it turned to a throbbing in your chest; a strange emptiness you hadn’t felt in a long time. Jungkook had always been by your side whenever you felt upset, and you hadn’t ever imagined that he’d become the causeof your pain rather than the one holding your hand through it.

You spent so much time alone now in your apartment that it gave you time to think about what you wanted to do next. You knew that you weren’t willing to forgive Jungkook—especially since he was so adamant on not apologising and facing you, given that he’d managed to avoid you for a whole week despite living at the same place. If you didn’t want to stay with him, then you’d have to find a new place, too, since this was his apartment…

It must’ve been nine days after not seeing Jungkook that your phone lit up with a familiar name while you were having dinner after work, alone at the kitchen bench. The notification sound broke you out of your train of thought and you mindlessly glanced at the lit-up screen, only to straighten when you saw hisname. His contact name was still labeled as boyfriend with a pink heart emoji, and something inside of your chest twisted strangely. The pain was far duller than it’d been just a few days ago, almost as if it was distant. Like rather than being a thunderstorm, it was a passing raincloud in the town down the road.

hey, can we talk?

You heaved a sigh and turned your phone screen down, leaving his message without a response. You had been able to find another apartment you’d be able to afford—one close to your workplace and the centre of the city, but you would only be able to move into it next week. Maybe you should hear him out…at the very least.

And so, with another deep sigh, you took another bite of your food and then picked up your phone, typing out your response: yeah. i’m home.

His reply came almost instantly: okay

You turned your phone off and slipped it into your pocket, your stomach clenching in sudden nervousness. How would you even look at him now, knowing that he’d probably been with the other girl for a whole nine days without a single call or text to you?

You must have been lost in thought for far longer than you thought, because it was the rattle at the door and the huff of his jacket sleeves as he slipped it off and hung it onto the rack that finally snapped you out of your own head.

He didn’t say anything, and you heard his footsteps softly pad towards the kitchen wordlessly. Suddenly you weren’t sure where to look, and instead of looking at him as he approached you (you knew he was, you caught sight of his curly black hair in your peripheral), you fixed your gaze on your food, composing yourself.

You felt a tentative hand on your shoulder, and you finally looked up at him.

He looked like he always did. Your pretty koo, your rock, your best friend. His hair was undone from its usual tiny ponytail and his eyes were slightly lined with dark shadows, as if he hadn’t slept last night.

“Y/N,” He finally said, taking his hand off your shoulder and putting it back at his side.

You didn’t say anything. Just swallowed, waiting for him to sit. When he finally did, you responded, “Yes?”

He gulped, biting his lip nervously, “I…I mean…are you okay?”

“I’ve been doing fine,” You said shortly.

“That’s good.”

You didn’t reply; only returned your gaze back to your now-cold food, the silent as heavy as ever.

“I…I didn’t want to hurt you.”

When you didn’t say anything, he pushed ahead, “I love you more than anyone else, and I didn’t mean for you to find out in this way.”

You scoffed without glancing up, “You didn’t mean for me to find out at all. How long were you going to string me along for, Jungkook?”

“I wasn’t going to—,”

“You did,” You cut him off, finally glaring up at him coldly, “Were you going to make me be your fucking housewife, sitting home by myself, mopping your fucking floors, while you go and get drunk with other girls? I’m not stupid, Jungkook, I know where you were the whole of last week.”

He was suddenly silent as he looked at you, unable to reply, mouth running dry.

You saw him gulp but you ignored it.

“I know you were with her, while you left me here, alone,” You said, your voice breaking at the end. You still managed to get the rest of your words out, “I don’t believe you when you say you love me, Jungkook, because I don’t feel it.”

“Y/N…”

“Five months, Jungkook. How long have you been lying to me?”

He didn’t speak for a long moment, and you didn’t bother to break it—his silence was telling enough.

He was tearing up now, you noticed with the tiniest bit of emotion showing on your face—even though you tried your hardest to hide it. His eyes were becoming foggy, and as much as you wanted to pull him into your arms and tell him it was alright, you didn’t.

It wasn’t your place anymore.

He’d made that much clear.

“Y/N, please…I can make it right,” He whispered, his voice on the verge of breaking.

You paused, mulling his words over for a long moment, before saying with finality, “Good luck with that.”

His eyebrows furrowed, and his hands began to shake as he caught onto your tone and implication, “W-what do you mean?”

“I’m leaving, Jungkook,” You told him, “I’m moving out next week.”

You watched—watched as the emotions washed over his features, one after the other. His hopeful, composed expression fell first, crumbling as he took in the reality of the situation and the unfaltering truth in your eyes and tone.

He didn’t move, only stared at you—first at your eyes, as if trying to search for any sign of hesitation or reluctance, and then at your unsmiling, firmly-pressed lips, and then finally his gaze turned to your hands—unfolded over the desk, palms flat on the table.

He gulped before he softly said, “Oh.” His voice was so small you barely registered it, so different to his usual, cheerful, enthusiastic voice—not that you would know anymore, seeing as you hadn’t heard it for a long time.

He was gone—emotionally, mentally, then finally physically—for so long you forgot what he feltlike—what he sounded like, truly.

“Yeah.”

There was no more malice in your tone. You didn’t have energy for bitterness or anger, or jealousy anymore. All there was was emptiness, the lack of anything and everything, that you felt through your heart and bones.

There was nothing.

“You’re breaking up with me?”

Those words snapped you. Despite your previous calm, you felt a storm pass through your gaze and you swear you saw him shrink back a little at the change in your expression.

You scoffed, your hands angrily fisting, “You broke up with me, the moment you decided to hurt me like you have. Like you are doing, right now, pinning this situation on me.”

He said nothing, only watching as your eyes became lined with frustrated silver, and he felt his own begin to tear up, too, as he took in your absolutely broken form and voice.

“I’m sorry.”

It was your turn to be silent, not bothering to mull over his apology as you simply stood up, taking your plate with you. The only sound in the apartment was the soft rumbling of the airconditioning, and the clinking of your cutlery as you tucked your chair in, “It’s too late for us, Jungkook.” You said without meeting his eyes so that he wouldn’t see your quiet tears. You slowly made your way to the kitchen to wash your dishes, “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, I will.”

“Okay.”

Your nonchalance broke him more than your anger ever could. You were always so bubbly, so energetic and loving. Jungkook knew he didn’t deserve that anymore, not with how badly he had destroyed your heart.

He simply stood in place, numb, as you finished cleaning your dishes and made your way to the bedroom.

He didn’t see your face, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He said.

You silently shut the bedroom door and didn’t reply.

164 notes · View notes

baobaojng · 4 years

Text

when icarus falls (jung jaehyun) - act two (final)

when icarus falls - act one, half time interval, act two

jung yoonoh (jaehyun) x reader - college athlete!au , crush!au

themes: angst, fluff, (super tiny tiny tiny implied smut)

reminders: YOU HAVE TO READ THE HALF TIME INTERVAL BEFORE YOU PROCEED TO THIS PART!!

summary: some tragic story of you sharing one class with your long time college crush jaehyun who never notices you until he accidentally reads your work and he gets curious— oh, and he uses lame excuses to get to talk to you.

note: AAAAA here we finally are! thank you so much for the kind words and the support y’all gave during the entire process of this fic, i’m so grateful! hope to see you guys read my fics in the future! from here, this has been ‘when icarus falls,’ thank you.

wordcount: 15,375

Chittaphon and Doyoung did not ask any questions when you asked them to drive you home, but since you spilt your own feelings to them - they already knew that something bad happened between you and Jaehyun. You were silently holding sobs in the backseat, not even wanting to make any semblance of a sniffle, but it caused more pain to your windpipe that felt like it was swelling. When they reached your apartment an hour and a half later you immediately got out the car, wanting to vomit on the sidewalk. Although you knew that what had happened with Jaehyun punched the sobriety back into your senses, your body seemed to protest otherwise.

“I’m so fucked.” You managed to say in between breaths, your mouth tasted like acid. You hated yourself for ever drinking and for ever setting foot in that place, your two friends worried behind you - Chittaphon having to pull your hair back. And then you cried in full volume, like putting yourself on mute pented up even more of your emotions. They didn’t know how to respond, but you couldn’t blame them for that. There was always an assumption that they would never really understand you even if you told them how you felt, and they really wouldn’t. In fact, at this point, not a soul could understand what you felt for Jung Jaehyun.

They don’t walk you inside your apartment; you assured them that despite your puffed up face and the strained feeling of your throat that you could make it to bed safely. It did not feel like the right time to be coddled by your friends. You just wanted to be alone.

Buzzing sounds were coming from your phone, and Jaehyun’s contact photo was flashing across the screen. Your eyes squinted at the light, but it hurt more knowing that he was trying.

Jaehyunnie: let’s talk (3:04am)

Even in text, it seems, you’ve rubbed off of each other; he even typed the way you did already.

Jaehyunnie: please (3:05am)

Jaehyunnie: just answer me, please (3:05am)

Jaehyunnie: y/n please (3:06am)

Tears dripped out of your eyes continuously, it was going to be hard trying to fall asleep.

Jung Jaehyun’s number was officially blocked on your phone. For hours you tried convincing yourself that this seriously wasn’t chickening out - this was more about you knowing that there wasn’t going to be good conversation about what had happened, plus your ego would not want to be compromised by immediately jumping at his request of talking. Your emotions needed to mature a little bit more, and until when you didn’t know. Space was needed and even more so the time for you to really think things over. For once you did not allow yourself to point fingers at the alcohol or the circumstances of that night; it was meant to happen then anyway. The world was cruel in so many different senses that it reminded you that you couldn’t uphold the friendship you established with Jaehyun. It had to end the same way it started: where your world crashed down around the idea of your feelings for him.

When Monday rolled around, it took a lot of guts deciding whether or not you were going to end up going to your Literature class, but you painfully forced Chittaphon to vacate his seat next to Jaehyun and sit next to you - afraid that you would have no form of protection if Jaehyun were to try and approach you in class.

“You’re about to drill a hole through the floor with your foot if you keep on thumping it up and down like that.” Chittaphon commented, all while you didn’t notice how nervous your body was reacting.

“Drill a hole through my head, won’t you? I seriously don’t want to be here.” You agonized in your seat, covered in about three layers of clothing in an effort to make yourself believe that it would be a good disguise against Jaehyun. Maybe, just maybe, he would flat out forget you existed if he could not see you in the mounds of sweaters you tried to concoct this morning. It was some delusion wanting for him to not notice you and for you to run away from this with no feelings at all.

Chittaphon seemed a little sad for you, the downwards slope his lips were going to was enough of a sign anyway. “Cheer up, won’t you? If he did the wrong thing at the wrong time and you know you were wronged somehow, shouldn’t he be the one to suffer like this? It’s really Jaehyun’s loss, not your’s.”

The comment was a little too soon to make, especially when Brianna Chang wrapped herself around Jung Jaehyun’s arm like jewelry as they walked in Literature at the same time. She sat down where Chittaphon normally sat, and Jaehyun didn’t seem like he even noticed that his friend wasn’t sitting there. She did not even take this class, but to be fair it wasn’t even twenty minutes till the class started.

Suddenly you regretted the layers of clothing you wore; they felt like a boiling prison chamber.

When Brianna Chang (very loudly) laughed at something Jaehyun had said and placed her hand on his forearm, it sent an echoing pang into your chest. So this is what it felt like looking at him from afar, lest you forget where you were before the two of you had become close. This is how it felt like seeing him not care about everybody else because he could hang out with whomever he wanted despite the dirty looks thrown his way. Quite literally, this is how it felt like taking the backseat. And when Brianna Chang left five minutes before the professor’s arrival, Jaehyun walking her to the door, his eyes searched for yours. Only a split second of surrender occurred until you stripped yourself away from his gaze; you weren’t playing this game.

Jaehyun looked like he didn’t care anyway, and it hurt more to know that he just looked at you and walked back to his seat. You expected him to carry on his efforts at trying to talk to you, but you should have known that he wasn’t one to prolong things.

This was foul two, the first he committed that night on the beach.

Maybe you were just that disposable.

You finally decided to answer Chitapphon who looked just as puzzled as how you felt. Unfortunate how he was debunked so quickly. “You were saying?”

Dinner became an issue you thought you would never think about. It seemed that you’ve grown so used to having Jaehyun ask you to dinner everyday, him waiting for you by the tree you claimed in the quad. Now it was just straight walks back to your apartment alone, not realizing you needed the evening sustenance until your stomach started growling while you were trying your best to distract yourself with all the reading requirements you were digesting in advance. Maybe it was metaphorical for how you were trying to avoid Jaehyun, you could only go in for so long before realizing how much you needed him now. The harder you tried to avoid him physically, everything else would remind you that you couldn’t forget him or dodge the idea of him. It was diabolical how you were so used to this routine before you became friends with Jaehyun, only for it to be hijacked now because you built most of your time around him.

A video call request from Lisa chimed in, you suddenly had to dig through the multiple pages of books that buried your phone. Right, there was a mixer she was trying to invite you to but you declined. You answered her call anyway.

“Hey.” You spoke to the pixelated mess on your phone the audio already chiming in, mashed up sounds of music and other people.

“Y/N! Are you sure you aren’t free tonight?” She said, the lighting over on her side a little bit weird, but the signal came in better and you could see her clearly.

You switched your camera to show her your table, “yeah I’m sure, I have to write about Persephone tonight.”

“Oh, I thought Jaehyun would be keeping you preoccupied.” You loved your friend but you did not have half the heart to admit to her what happened, you knew she’d find a way to try to get you to talk to him and you were not yet capable of doing that.

“Nope, just me.” You reminded her, switching back to front camera.

“Yeah actually never mind,” Lisa said, this confusing you. She quickly switched her camera this time and zoomed in to someone. “Jaehyun’s right here partying too!” She remarked, and now you could make out the figure she was trying to capture on camera.

It was Brianna, her perfectly colored hair indicating it was her, and Jaehyun dancing on each other among a small crowd.

Suddenly, you did not want to eat. You had no appetite at all.

Foul three.

It was quite odd for Johnny Seo and Mark Lee to ask you to hang out with them after class. Not that they were difficult to be around, they were actually really fun guys - except you never really got super close with them. They were probably the closest ones to Jaehyun if you were to make estimates.

“I made a class outline for you so you wouldn’t pass up on getting some chow with us at the very last minute.” Johnny handed you a neatly written reviewer; he probably took some of the same units during his pre-law.

“And I’m here too so you probably can’t resist me and my fun charms.” Mark announced.

You could very easily try and pretend to match their energy, but you would be lying if you did and that on its own wasn’t fair. It was half true that you would pass up on hanging out with them (also because Johnny was one of the key people during the beach party), but only because they reminded you so much of Jaehyun— too much of him to rub off on every single thing and make your mind go back to him.

So you just smile and take the outlined paper and nod along, silently telling them that you were down to go wherever they wanted to.

Now, their idea of a fun time was to go to an Ikea to have food and look at furniture. You didn’t expect it from two goofballs who seemed to probably have zero knowledge on home care, but they proved you wrong.

There was no real idea when they asked you to hang out with them; you originally thought that when they walked up to you, they’d immediately allude to wanting to know about why you and Jaehyun weren’t hanging out as much and why you didn’t go to their practice for the past two sessions. Chittaphon and Doyoung had promised that they wouldn’t tell any other soul about the incident at the beach, and of course anything related to the feelings your harbored for their team captain. Instead they just went up to you out of the blue and told you they wanted to go out.

It would have been way too optimistic for you to expect that they wouldn’t brush on the topic either.

“So,” Mark said with a mouthful of meatballs, “why don’t we see you around much?” He asks cautiously.

“What do you mean? We see each other in school all the time though.” You try to be passive about it, because you very much know what he is hinting at.

“Why don’t we see you around much with Jaehyun then.” Johnny clarifies, and you nod once as you put away the drink you were holding.

The expression on your face is blank, and you realize now that you’ve mastered using it to really avoid how you felt inside. “You two really have no clue, do you?”

A ‘pft’ sound escapes Johnny’s lips, “of course we know something, but it would only be fair if we asked you. Especially when Jaehyun’s been whoring around trying to fool himself into believing he likes what he’s doing.”

“Let’s all just let him be. Besides, I’m sure there’s a reason for what he’s doing and maybe we think he’s unhappy because we don’t like his choices. If we all regard him the way we really do, then we should respect him and whatever he does, right? I’m respecting him by keeping my distance.” You shrug, maybe you had to leave it alone; you had no fighting chance.

“Don’t you think it’s worth trying getting through to him though?” Mark asked you with hopeful eyes.

Your nose crunched into different creases, “see, I blew him off way too many times for that to be possible. I don’t think he’ll want me to talk to him anymore either.” No, you wanted to talk to him for sure. You were just so scared of being confronted with the truth: you crossed lines that should not have been crossed. “Besides, it’s enough that I’ve liked him for as long as I have. And way too much that I was the one that messed it all up too, I should leave it alone.”

“If you say so, then I won’t force it. You’re your own boss.” Johnny respectfully said in defeat.

Walking around looking for blankets, the three of you caught up on how you all were. Your mind could not pin together how they had some sort of idea of what happened - maybe Doyoung and Chittaphon did snitch on you or worse, Jaehyun could have told them something. In that case, you wouldn’t know what he had said or what he had conjured up.

It should not have surprised you when you saw Jaehyun with Brianna, him whispering something a little too close into her ear. He was holding a basketful of home items. ‘Wow,’ you thought, they were going domestic now.

You were caught stuck in your tracks upon seeing it, and thankfully Johnny was behind you so you were able to lean on someone and not fall from losing your balance.

“Out of all the damn days he could have gone to go out and out of all the damn places.” Johnny huffed under his breath, but instead you tried to set him back into a calm mood by tapping at his shoulders with your palms.

“It’s alright Johnny.” You assured as Mark kind of just stood there to awkwardly assess the situation at hand.

“I don’t think it is.” Mark spoke and you noticed that Jaehyun had spotted the three of you. It felt like the first time you ever laid eyes on him, but the great feeling didn’t last long— certainly not lasting as long enough as you would have liked.

“Hey.” Johnny stepped out to pretend to be glad to see his friend, you noticed Jaehyun trying to make his way closer to all of you with Brianne just trailing behind him.

With the basket of duvets the three of you had selected earlier, you tapped at Mark to signal him to follow you away from this running into each other incident.

Had Jung Jaehyun the nerve to ruin Ikea for you, fucking Ikea.

Foul fucking four.

Jaehyun made you sick, he was some ritual that you embedded deeper in than the dermis of your skin - every single thing reminded you of him, even if they weren’t memories you shared together. It seemed that every single thing that had attached nostalgia to it had a little bit of Jaehyun. That’s why you decided that you were willing to forego your common routine in order to avoid even the slightest idea of him. He was like salt that degraded the metal away from you; it hurt even hearing the syllables of his name.

Doyoung usually accompanied you to your trips to the common lounge in school, as you insisted that you felt uncomfortable with the idea of being alone in public in some way. He happily agreed to being your study buddy, wanting to catch up on learning from you because apparently it was easier.

There had to be some way for you to simply avoid and adjust: the measures being taken to the extreme when you figured out that maybe now you took a better liking at Mediterranean food because you never ate any with Jaehyun, you did not take walks by the same route going back to your apartment— hell, you didn’t even want to hang around your living space because everything that used to be so organized was all messed up the way Jaehyun had left them. It felt like you were evacuating the storm that he was, and it was devastating.

For a while you were able to successfully carry out this goal by snubbing him in any sense that you could. Except, you had to admit that it left a pit open in your stomach each time you saw his back during Literature. Sometimes you could tell you were shaking from the wrist to your fingertips just because he made you wary.

Your success did not last long, like any other attempt at trying to avoid him.

He committed foul five when he entered the common lounge with Brianna, seeming to hold matching paper cups of coffee - distracting you from your productivity.

Jung Jaehyun never used to step foot here in all the years you’ve liked him, and even now he was getting in the way of your routine.

Four grown men had to convince you that the only way for you to get over whatever it was you were feeling was to flat out face it and try your best not to care. ‘Try your best,’ still did imply that you did. It implied that Jung Jaehyun still had some effect on you. Although you were still trying to convince Johnny, Mark, Doyoung and Chittaphon that you were fine with ‘leaving it alone,’ they could see right through you.

“You’re beating yourself up about him.” Chittaphon warned when the four of them practically barged into your apartment one afternoon. It was an argument you couldn’t win and a situation you couldn’t convince them out of. Thankfully you were surrounded by sensitive fucks who could really feel how terrible this was affecting you— you expected them to be more indifferent, to just not want to put up with your constant passive-aggressive answers and just agree even if they knew you weren’t truly speaking what you felt.

The real reason why they came over was to tease you with an ‘open invitation’ to having a friendly group dinner, with beers if your mood allowed, because they felt like you needed a little bit more fun and to stop being so paranoid all the damn time. There was a catch though: you’d have to sit through their basketball practice. On that note, you were about to jump out of your own skin in order to tell them ‘no,’ and that you did not want to even set foot in the basketball gym. Johnny thought way ahead though, telling you that Jaehyun has been negligent with practice these days and that he wouldn’t be there.

What Johnny didn’t tell you in full detail though, was he most likely wouldn’t be there.

So that meant while you were sitting by the bleachers- eyes roaming around at the spacious gym, wondering how you could sit here before almost all the time and not feel bored out of your mind, your friends were a little panicky about Jaehyun’s possible arrival. The place smelt like it used to, if humidity had a smell in this sense it definitely would be sweaty - mixed with all the different sprays each of the guys had. They were pretty surprised you showed up too, Yukhei and Donghyuck genuinely pestering you with tight hugs as they were convinced you passed away. Good for you, they had no idea at all about the context.

It felt like you were revisiting a dream: a little unreal, and a little melancholy. Never expecting you’d find yourself here.

Even the time you spent apart from Jaehyun felt longer than the time you spent almost everyday with him. Sadness could do that.

Foul six was even worse, when Jaehyun came in with Brianna again - smiling like he always did when he was with her. Your mind trying to recall if he ever smiled at you as much, or if he smiled at you as brightly.

He looked at you for three seconds, you could count with how slow your heart beat. But when he did see you, he lost his smile and he looked away.

Needless to say, you requested so many beers when your four friends took you to dinner— Johnny footing most of the bill.

It was a Monday when it happened, you were walking out of class alone (this time you were the one to want to try and savor the feeling of familiarizing yourself with yourself again, after what had happened in the gym and after another terrible hangover - you figured that maybe it was yourself that you were missing.) You thought that maybe it was time to breathe deeper and try different things out, although it still hurt you that Jaehyun seemed to be doing much much better at recovering than you did.

Well, who’s to say there was anything to recover from, right?

“This is one of the last requirements you’ll ever submit in this class. No, it isn’t in usual analytic format— rather, I want all of you to write up how you feel like you can related to Icarus in the myth of Daedalus and Icarus. Deadline is in two weeks.” You professor had announced right before you were dismissed, you simply took a note in your phone about it and waited for everybody else to exit so you could steer clear of walking with groups of friends that would obviously make you feel uncomfortable.

You were just about to walk out of Literature when you stopped in your tracks to notice that Chittaphon and Johnny were cornering Jaehyun outside the lecture hall. Morally, if you had any in tact for the sake of yourself, you would have gone and ducked your head down and brisk walked the hell away from there. Though, right now, you did not even have the guts to walk past them. So you decided to stand where you were behind the big doors and hide. Yes, eavesdropping was a terrible idea but you couldn’t help but wonder why the two were cornering the team captain; they very clearly discussed their dismay towards his insensitivities toward you and his negligence towards the team lately, but they knew much better than to ask for some confrontation. Besides, you’ve never seen them hold serious faces like that. Not ever.

“Jaehyun,” Johnny said deeply, he wasn’t speaking in the manner of a team member or a classmate, but more as a friend, “what the hell’s going on with you?”

You don’t see Jaehyun shrug, but you can hear the dismay in Chittaphon’s whine when there is no vocal noise that expressed Jaehyun’s answer.

“You said you were willing to talk to us! Can you at least give us a little more than that? You’ve been shrugging and giving one worded answers these days and it’s really getting on everyone’s nerves.” Johnny demanded.

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong at all.” Then there it is. Jung Jaehyun finally speaks, but you think that as you hear his voice - you’ve missed this voice so much - that it does not sound like him. Technically, it does, but it does not feel the way he really speaks. Jung Jaehyun used to speak in a way that even the way his voice vibrated at the bottom of his tongue, you could feel every pronounced expression that he was trying to put out. This Jung Jaehyun sounded flat, dense, as if his words were thrown around in a void. It felt cold.

“Seriously? You’re going to keep acting this way? Isn’t anything important to you right now?” Johnny raised his voice, you could tell the answers he was getting frustrated him.

“What? I can’t go around and have some time for myself now? Is that not unfair Johnny?” To no avail it seemed, it was even more challenging that Jung Jaehyun kept his monotone voice.

“I’m not saying that it’s wrong for you to take some time off but this isn’t you Jaehyun. Bigger games are around the corner! And what? You’ve been disregarding Y/N’s existence like she didn’t even mean anything to you? It’s fucking bullshit.” The tallest exhausted, and you couldn’t help but feel cramped up in a tight spot when he mentioned you.

“What do you want me to say? That she matters? I think I’ve done more than make it clear at this point, Johnny. If she doesn’t want me to matter, I’m done. She doesn’t matter.” Fuck, that hurt.

With hot tears dripping on your cheeks, you walk out of where you were standing. To this, Johnny’s eyes go wide and Chittaphon tries to reach out and console you. But Jaehyun’s face is something else; it crumbles and it falters down to the realization that you had heard everything.

It feels like you are retracing your steps on the beach when you walk away.

“Y/N! Wait!” Like how he sounded before, it was ringing. How his voice claimed the ceiling of the hall. He was chasing after you this time, and he was getting closer faster.

You have guts this time, even if you know you look like hell. Turning around you face him, “I don’t matter, right?”

His brows furrow in distress. “It isn’t like that.” Oh, but to you it was.

“I know what I heard,” you exhale a deep breath, “just leave me alone Jung Jaehyun.” You shrug him off, but he grasps onto your forearm.

“Can you just please listen to me for once and not run away?” There’s a lump on your throat you can’t swallow, but you stand where you are and you nod slowly. It hurts that you want to hear him out.

“What else is left to say?” You try to exhale deeply, even through ragged breaths you were taking in.

Jaehyun drops all his things on the floor, despite the deep loud sound of them falling, there is no commotion made. Only now warm lights of the campus are turned on because it is late, it is quiet, and your knees are about to clump in together to freak you out. But he breaks you even more when he pulls out some stapled sheets out of what he was attempting to rummage along his items. At first you don’t recognize the thing he is holding; it looks worn out with many creases and dog ears at the sides and you wonder what is it in his hands— but then you recognize the detail in spacing: it was your paper. Somehow it made sense now why it had gone missing right before you were to show it to Doyoung, and how Jung Jaehyun couldn’t get off your hair.

“I’ve always had this,” he tries to explain even with all the layers of hesitation, “except I never got around to explain it to you.”

You are caught in a trap, and you cannot respond. Only with silence and your teeth pressing against each other in anticipating agony.

“These words have kept me drawn to you. I think I’ve gone out of my way so many times to make these words come to life. And those months being friends with you I just can’t help but feel like I haven’t completed what I was supposed to. I just can’t explain why, but I don’t regret reacting how I did on that beach.” Jung Jaehyun is still unimaginably confident as he tells you this.

But you tear up even more, “that’s where you’re wrong.” The voice in your throat croaks and falters.

“How can you say that?” He asks as if he is hurt, which is a very big leap from how he had sounded when he talked to Johnny. You take a very deep breath.

“Because I’m not a fucking charity case, Jung Jaehyun. What you feel isn’t real if that’s all that’s kept you with me for these past few months. You just confuse your pity for an entirely different thing, but you should know that I never needed you help.” You cannot look him in the eye as you look for anything else to distract you: the floor, your heartbeat, the edges of your worn out Converse. “It just sucks that I know I’ll love you even if you think of me that way.” It feels like your throat was choking up on its own, suddenly you wished you were swallowing the words you had uttered.

Jung Jaehyun doesn’t answer you, and he looks like he cannot, not when his eyes were wide as they were - and the rest of his expressions just glitch onto you.

Then you walk away with salty tears fitting themselves into the crevices of your lips as you try your best not to let him or Johnny or Chittaphon to run after you. There was already enough running.

Perhaps you expected way too much of Jung Jaehyun to have the tiniest hope to even believe that he would get out of his way to try harder to talk to you, because he was doing the exact opposite of that. It seemed he had traded you in, in exchange for the life he had before the two of you were friends. Although it was a little odd to see him divulge back into a lifestyle he swore he hated, it never dawned to you how much it suited him. Jung Jaehyun was in his natural state of a dream around everybody else, and you were burying yourself even deeper in all the aged terrible literature that would piss you off just because you wanted to distract yourself. Who were you kidding? It had only been two days, and to be honest to yourself - you weren’t really holding up great because your choice of strategy did anything but distract you; it only reminded you that you were forcing yourself to be distracted by him.

You’ve lost any avenue of focus, so you decided it would be fair to end up just not attending your classes anymore. It wasn’t like you were dropping out of class, you had a few weeks left into the semester and you could pass a lot of your requirements over e-mail - it was easier to just decide not to go and wait until Jung Jaehyun graduated.

“I heard she’s dropping out of her units.” One of the girls from the table said, Jung Jaehyun only now arriving to Brianna Chang’s lunch invitation, overhearing this. He sat next to Brianna, who was replying sadly to one of her friend’s new gossip.

“What a shame, she’s really intelligent too.” She commented, and Jung Jaehyun had to raise a brow.

“Who are we talking about?” He asks.

“Aren’t you close with her?” Brianna asks him, and he feigns any knowledge of the sort. “Y/N?” She asks again and he couldn’t believe his ears.

He pretends he doesn’t really understand the situation, “she’s dropping out?” Trying to suppress his own worry, he just keeps quiet.

For as long as Jung Jaehyun remembers, he’s always noticed you. Even before you got close to the mutual friends you two had shared, he always noticed how intelligent you were for ranking up at the top of your classes and how you never seemed interested in what a traditional college student would. Instead of taking yourself the entire way by drinking your nights out like a majority of people he knew did, you always seemed to keep things under a minimum and just go with the flow. What was even more interesting was how you were still able to say ‘yes’ to your friends’ invitations as well as study your brains out, and always attend his basketball games. To Jung Jaehyun, it sure was intriguing. He made sure he read all the paper work you submitted in class whenever you gave the teachers your permission to post them for reference sake (he heard a rumor that you were just that good to be used for reference) - and it never failed to make him even more curious. Even if he had all the chances in the world to try and introduce himself to you and get to know you because you were always around Doyoung and Chittaphon, he never wanted to force anything out of it.

During the first time your Literature professor called in for a meeting regarding the trip to Greece, he was a little bit intimidated to find out you had signed up— but it shouldn’t have surprised him because of course you would sign up, he did not have to know you well to know that he would probably find you where there was a trace of learning and extra credit or some challenge at such. He could tell how uncomfortable you were sitting next to him though, rummaging your papers all too quickly to pass in an assignment to be the first one to leave, causing you to not notice a couple of documents fly off of your compilation.

Jung Jaehyun was kind enough to pick them up to give back to you just to be, well, kind. But when he looked up to hand them back to you, you were simply gone from the room. For days he tried his best to give your papers back, and he never dared reading them. Each time he did try giving your papers back you always misread the situation, assuming he was nearing you because you were always with your mutual friends (he thought it would be easier to talk to you this way because he wouldn’t know how he could muster any courage up if he went up to you alone) and you would leave. Jung Jaehyun swore millions and millions of times in his head that no matter how long it would take to bring back your personal belongings, he would not read them. Not a single word. He did not triumph from this promise, curiosity taking over the best of him, and he ended up reading these papers. The letterhead was written for one of your classes, in perfect format he might add. Jung Jaehyun read each word as if he were digesting them, bit by bit in each space and in each phrase - he found it curious: how the almost always uptight seeming person he had always seen around school felt the way that they did. If his mind were to tell him that maybe you wrote out of compliance, he wouldn’t believe it either; it was all too perfect and all too feeling for him to say you wrote out of the sheer need to.

The most striking thing was, it made him feel lonely— or, lonelier, if that were possible. Maybe you perfectly resonated the same feelings onto him through words, and it was apparent to him that he was a bit more frustrated at the thought that he did not know how to change your mind, he did not know how to be close to you.

It was definitely out of his hands when Chittaphon arranged a night out to drink after they had won that game when Brianna Chang confessed to him in front of everybody. He recalled how he saw you in the bleachers when he was switched out during a time out called by the other team’s coach, and how he didn’t care for the ‘major’ confession he received after they had won; he was too busy wondering why you disappeared along with the crowd, because he kind of knew that you would typically stay behind a little longer not to jam yourself in with the crowd. He had thought it would mess him up for the rest of the night which made him want to drink to forget about the girl he barely knew anyway, but to his surprise you were sitting there by the haphazardly arranged set of tables just put together - and he knew that after he accompanied his friends to order by the bar counter that it was definitely his chance to sit next to you.

It was another thing to text you the next morning, him trying his best not to write the most awkward greeting - considering that he did bring you home the night before. But he thought he’d never have any other chance to get to talk to you and try to be one of your friends too, and so he just did what he could even if it meant that he would plow through his own embarrassment.

The boy kind of proved that he had balls of steel when he asked you to have dinner, having a strong feeling you would turn him down because you probably would be busy. But then you had agreed to him anyway - to him it was just an invitation to dinner, but when Doyoung was there with you and asked what the two of you were up to, Jung Jaehyun thought that maybe it wasn’t ‘just dinner’ especially since his heart was beating faster than he would have liked.

You won him over without even knowing when the two of you talked over dinner, and even more so when the two of you had walked to your apartment just so he could take a look into your work. Jung Jaehyun realized that at the very least he was interested in you, but he was sure he harbored a little bit of feelings. From there everything had just blown into proportion.

He couldn’t imagine what it would be like without grabbing dinner with you, having you sit in the bleachers doing your paperwork but also surprisingly giving him constructive advice on the sport (this was honestly just the icing on the cake), dragging you out when you least expected to - or just seeing the smile on your face whenever you’d exit your dazed expression.

Jung Jaehyun never thought he could ever easily open up to anyone as much as he could to you, it was like spreading out a velvet map over a creaseless table - all his edges seemed to fall perfectly out of his lips and into your own words. He could listen to you recite your poetry all day. He only wanted to see your face after every single practice and every single draining game. He wanted to clasp his hands around your wrist just to catch you off guard, but also only because he had no other excuse to touch you. He knew he loved you since the first time he asked you to eat Chinese food with him for dinner, and he knew he would love you even more when you were so willing to show him your collection of literature. Jung Jaehyun knew he never loved anyone the way he loved you.

Something had scared him though, the idea that he did not want to risk romance with you. To Jung Jaehyun, he always received too special treatment from females - often receiving confessions, making it easier for him to know if someone did like him or not. So in his eyes, you seemed to treat him in no more difference than the rest of your friends. Many times had he longed to bring up the possibility of something else between the two of you, but he did not want to ruin what was already there. Maybe if he didn’t risk it, the routine he built around you would stay and he wouldn’t have to deal with the idea of ever losing you. Even if it was against his own heart, he decided to try and feel something else for someone else. That’s why he had chased after Brianna.

Imagine his surprise when you had told him that you loved him, Jung Jaehyun felt like he threw up his own heart and tried swallowing it down. When he kissed you, he wanted you to kiss him back and he wanted you to keep telling him that you loved him because he so desperately wanted to tell you that he loved you too.

But you ran away, because he knew that things weren’t in the right order for you to continue. He had just told you that he was pursuing Brianna, and here he was kissing you only because you told him that you loved him.

Guilt ate away at Jung Jaehyun for the next few days. Deciding it was only ever fair now for anyone in the situation, he called anything off with Brianna before things got to serious and before he could regret anything. He waited for you to walk through the doors of the lecture hall for Advanced Literature, but you never came in. He heard people talking about your absence in annoyance, knowing that to them it only mattered that they were talking about somebody else for the sake of gossip. If you were around anyway they wouldn’t bat an eyelash at you, and here they were talking about all the different possibilities as to why the school’s academic ace wasn’t attending classes anymore. To Jung Jaehyun, he was willing to listen to hearsay if only to feed his mind and to try and reassure himself that you were probably doing fine. At least he had hoped so.

“I heard she’s transferring to a different university to take her masters in advance,” the girls behind him were talking about you, “I mean, she’s always been offered many scholarships from a lot of the good arts schools. It isn’t far from happening.” Wrong, he thought. You always swore you would get your diploma and attend your own graduation to feel the payoff of all your hard work. It wasn’t the most likely case.

“I heard she’s going somewhere for extra credit?” Another suggested, and obviously Jaehyun knew this wasn’t true either; you had every extra curricular and extra credit related thing listed down for the semester - and you never mentioned anything.

“I heard she hasn’t been going to classes because something upset her. My dad works at the hospital, and apparently she went into one of the therapy clinics in their wing. She didn’t look so good either.”

Now, this scared Jaehyun, as it was the only real possibility in his head.

He waited for class to be over to be able to talk to Chittaphon, his friend treating him with a little bit more caution since the last time you had a confrontation with Jaehyun.

“Why isn’t she coming to class anymore?” Jaehyun felt like he started breathing after holding in his breath, deciding to get straight to the point already.

To his dismay, Chittaphon could only shrug. “She hasn’t been talking to any of us, we haven’t had contact with her since— well, yeah, you should know.” This seemed even harder for him now, only realizing how difficult he made this entire situation when he could have just grown the balls to tell you that he loved you even before you did.

“Oh.” Was the only thing Jaehyun could say, staring down as he fiddled with his thumbs. He was guilty guilty guilty.

“Jaehyun, I love this reform you’re putting yourself on, but allow her to be lost. Maybe she needs it, in her own selfish way.”

Jung Jaehyun realizes over the course of the next few days that he misses you, and that nothing has really changed that. He thought that he had already known how it felt like to be so painfully in love with somebody, having been in a long term relationship that everybody had pinned for ever since he started off in college. He had remembered dating Kristen Sy mainly because it only made sense to everybody else for them to be together. There was love there, definitely. But the difference it made with loving you meant that he did not have to love somebody just because it felt like they were perfectly made to be cut out for them. In a way, because you were so different from Jaehyun, it made you perfect. Now his mind was kept wondering about all the different possibilities and all the chances he had with you and what could have happened if only he knew how to speak up and to realize much sooner that he loved you too.

He’s been in the middle of wracking up a storm in his head trying to write the paper on Icarus, noticing that (even though that’s exactly the writing assignment) he isn’t any different at all from the character.

Jung Jaehyun, always caught up in his own world where he is always praised an loved by everybody else, but he is left in these moments of vulnerability because he loves you.

It is the championship game of the season, the last game they’ll ever be playing for college basketball, when Jung Jaehyun tries his best to get his mind off of you for just one second. Big scouts are there to watch the game, and he can’t fuck it up for himself or for any of the other boys.

He couldn’t say that during the time outs that he didn’t look for you in the crowds of people, because he did. Trying to imagine that you were somewhere there with Lisa and Chittaphon and actually watching the game. Although he could not locate you, and it was very difficult trying to control his sadness. In his mind he pictured your face, and how intently you would watch the game as if you knew how to play it in the flesh, and how you would clasp your hands together each time you would slightly panic at the possibility of a foul or a missed hoop.

His imagination was not enough, that was for sure, but the idea of you cheering him on and telling him you were happy kept him going. Remembering how you were so genuinely happy for him when he would tell you about how excited he was about being scouted by one of the largest Leagues there was, he couldn’t help but smile his way through the quarters of the game.

Except Jung Jaehyun never prepared for the times when he would remember your face through all the different memories you had shared, even at the final twelve seconds on the shot clock when he was running to their basket— shooting a three pointer with a sure win score, he could remember the way you walked away. And the look on your face when you had cried and told him that he did not understand what he felt.

He stared off of a blank distance his eyes not locked down on anything specific, as the rest of the boys cheered and some got off the bench - Jung Jaehyun’s last time playing for college basketball. Though, the pieces couldn’t fit - even as Johnny Seo smacked him in the arm out of the pure pride he had felt for his captain, and when everybody handed him the championship trophy and carried him from each limb to raise him up as the most valuable player, it simply did not feel complete without you there. Even when their coach told them that SM League would be scheduling an official dinner for him and his team to talk business.

They were all roughly packing up at the locker room now, everyone tired. Through the dreadful noise of Yukhei’s screeching, he placed his items carefully in his duffel bag; realizing now that he was going to have to eventually totally empty up his locker. The metal only felt as cold as how he’d like.

“Jaehyun hyung,” Mark snapped him back into reality, “somebody left this for you a while ago.” His eyes travelled down to see Mark holding a plastic bag, and so he nodded in confused curiosity as he accepted it anyway. It was food? Maybe?

Written in an oddly familiar puppy designed sticky note were the words ‘congratulations, i knew you could do it.’ He couldn’t mistake it for anything else, it had to be your perfectly curved handwriting. Inside there were cans of convenience store beer and a single-sized pizza, reminding him of the times you two used to park by the bay and talk about life in the cold of the hood of his car. You watched his game. More than ever it hit him that he missed you.

Growing up and getting into all school levels, meeting new people and keeping old ones, Jung Jaehyun knew that he just wasn’t the type to really gravitate toward pain. He grew up an only child, with his parents’ undivided attention given towards him and his future - and although he did not make all the friends he wanted, he made really good ones and never had a hard time letting any of them go when time dictated. He learned that every time he used to scrape his knees, it wouldn’t make it feel any better if he cried about it— like every time he failed to make the perfect shot he expected to make in the first place, he never dared to cry.

But with you all he wanted to do was get rid of all the pain - the stupid sensation he felt all over his chest that he could not explain. It was all so alien to him, how you could matter so much to the point where he had to realize now over and over again how stupid he was.

Throughout all the stages in his life he knew that life came easy to him, and he was some how gifted with the charms of reeling other people in, and never having to worry for his impressions onto others. But when he met you, he was always nervous and afraid of saying the wrong thing. When he became your friend he was always thinking about how you must have thought that he was a big distraction and that you had better ways to spend your time. And in those short moments where he could not grasp the events in his own life, he knew he loved you and that’s what mattered anyway.

Jaehyun was writing his paper on Icarus, trying not to divide his attention into anything else. For days he hasn’t seen you in class and his mind wondered what it would have been like if the two of you were fine, and if he had told you earlier on that he loved you too. So now maybe he understood the text a little bit better, maybe he needed to take more chances like Icarus did - even if he knew the repercussions of his actions. And maybe if he did crash and fall, then fail like Icarus, it meant that he took a chance with you anyway.

There was no telling now that he’d broken your heart and his own if he were going to drown in some sea of regret or burn into the sun, but what mattered was that he knew something now that he couldn’t comprehend back then.

He was not afraid of loving you. Not anymore.

His heart was racing, as were his feet and the surprisingly heavy luggage he was dragging around as he and Chittaphon were tailing the Literature professor around the airport in order for them to be admitted to their respective gate. He had his passport lodged between the confines of his lips, trying to keep the thing from touching too much saliva. But then in between his fingers he tried to balance his identification card and his phone, and everyone else wasn’t of help because their hands were all pretty stuffed too. Apparently their flight wasn’t until two hours but since this was a school related thing, they felt the need to panic about being late or potentially getting lost around the airport.

They were going to Thessaloniki now, and there was still no word about your presence - not even your professor mentioning any such detail about an appearance from you on the trip. Jung Jaehyun wouldn’t dare lie and say that he was really bummed that you really weren’t showing up, guilt eating him alive, he hoped over the course of your friendship that the trip to Greece would be a fun thing to enjoy between the two of you. But now, part of him sort of expected a no show from you; no one has heard from you in two weeks, and how was he even able to hope that you were going to show up.

After checking in at the gate, Jaehyun and Chittaphon decided to get some food - as it was about 2 in the morning and they haven’t eaten anything. And there was a twenty our flight in total, the next time they were going to be on land was going to be the layover in Istanbul. Leaving the professor behind to look after all of their things as she claimed an entire bench to the three of them, they set off in a quest to look for some coffee.

“I’ll have two large Americanos please.” Chittaphon told the barista behind the counter.

Jaehyun raised a brow, there was so much caffeine in question, “two? Are you trying to wake yourself up or are you trying to get yourself killed? It’s that, or wasn’t I in charge of buying miss Kim’s coffee?” He asked his friend.

To which Chittaphon responded with a chuckle, “what? It’s not like I’m going to go all berserk on the plane ride after I drink this much coffee.”

“Oh but you’ll have to give me a hard time when you literally get pissy.” Jaehyun joked.

“Who says I’m even sitting next to you, Jae? I’d much rather sit next to miss Kim and tell her how extremely grateful I am to her for allowing me to go on this trip.” His friend jabbed at him.

“Well, whatever suits you Chittaphon.” Jaehyun looks at the barista who was ready to take his order. “Two Americanos and a small box of bagels please.”

As they walked back slowly to find the benches where they set up, talking about how in just a three weeks they were going to graduate, Jaehyun noticed that somebody was talking to their professor. Although, he doesn’t remember seeing anyone they knew when they settled in the gate, so he decided that maybe he mistook a stranger for miss Kim.

“Jae? Where are you going?” Chittaphon asked, three steps behind him as Jaehyun was close to stirring away toward another direction. “Miss Kim is right there.” In Jaehyun’s confused plight, he did realize that he wasn’t seeing incorrectly, and that he was really seeing their professor talking to somebody. But he could only see her back. Miss Kim noticed that the two of them have arrived back and she waved over to beckon them in.

And then the stranger ran a hand through her hair slowly, and a little nervously if his assumption was right by the way her fingers twitched. The thing that gave it all away was that ring around the index finger, one he was accustomed with, something he always saw you wearing.

It couldn’t be.

The stranger turned around, and it was a face he missed a lot. This was no stranger, it was you - little bit more tired looking, and your hair cut shorter. In a way, you did look a little strange; he held a lot of memories in your hands when he took them, scents associated with how he smelt your hair, and each reflection of himself in those doe like eyes. Now your hands were a little bit more frail, and your hair framed your face in a way of change, and your eyes were set in no shock compared to the way his held so much - they were empty. But this was you.

It was, it really was.

Chittaphon was going to have a difficult time trying to explain himself, especially since he and miss Kim knew you were arriving and coming with them to Greece. Also, how he bought you that extra coffee in advance. But most importantly, how he knew the strict seating arrangements of the plane in advance as well. Jaehyun wasn’t going to deal with his piss because you were designated seat mates.

You would have thought that you knew better than to decide to catch up from your apartment, missing two weeks of attending actual lectures - you relied on your professors’ emails. There was some unspoken advantage of acing all of your classes, and being known to be a little more advanced for your age. None of them seemed to second guess your request of asking for all the compliance work you had to accomplish because you had to explain that you had to take a short leave of absence due to ‘medical reasons,’ which was a blatant lie by the way; it was just something you thought was easy to fake since you found your way around to ask for a certificate of an old illness you had when you were younger - that now somehow resurfaced out of thin air. Nevertheless, you put your mind into work and said fuck it.

It was one of the stupidly relieving things you’ve done. It seemed, each time you got your mind off of understanding lessons yourself, your mind always drifted back to Jung Jaehyun - and the answer to avoiding those thoughts were always related to just sleeping it off. The cycle was sluggish, tiring, a terribly perfect way for you to try to grasp the idea of rest.

Until one day after stressfully running your hands through your hair millions and millions of times as the stray pieces disturbed your focus at the pages you were highlighting, you guessed that it was a terrific idea to cut your hair. Surprise, it felt like it freed much needed space somewhere you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

A couple of days on this hiatus you found yourself in, and a ton of coffee consumed later, you were palpitating beyond comfortability. Frustratingly, the facilities got it all wrong when you were trying to explain what you felt one of the men listening by the reception was the father of a girl you had some classes with (you remembered that face from her graduation last year, before she was now taking up her masters), and you were transferred to the therapy unit to make sure they tried all sides of trying to assess your situation. Funnily enough, it took a certified psychiatrist to figure out that you were drinking way too much caffeine.

Then a few days later, you knew that it was the final (final, final) basketball championship game for the collegiate level. Although you were gravely sleep deprived with less tense muscles clinging onto your nerves, you figured that you had a heart somewhere still hidden away tucked beneath Jung Jaehyun’s sweaty strands of hair. You argued with yourself that you should have stayed away, because you knew that it was inevitable for them to win. But you were not going to pass up the final time you were going to see the legendary basketball team you watched all the damn time since you were a freshman, and you weren’t going to throw all of Jung Jaehyun away. Maybe now you were calmer, hiding behind scarier, more intimidating looking people in the bleachers - clumsily balancing the pizza and beer you bought between your fidgeting fingers each time the other team would make a clean steal at the ball. It still hurt somewhere to see him. Jung Jaehyun looked tired on court, and it was the first time you witnessed him looking so disheveled in the place you’d usually find him to be shining. But when the crowd went ballistic when the margin was far off and he took a final shot just for the sake of it, you stormed out to leave your little gift behind. It all just felt happy in your head; you were happy for him, you were very much sure that he would be playing for the big leagues.

Even though you had this whole debacle on how you were secretly catching up with your classes, of course your participation in the trip to Thessaloniki wasn’t out of the picture. Part of you was awfully assuming that you wouldn’t see Jung Jaehyun on the trip because maybe he had half the mind to give it up because you were going as well. But then again from the absence you took, to which you did not respond to any of your friends at all about their worried queries, you thought that maybe it would be a lot more logical for him to go on the trip assuming that you were gone from university. So you asked for a special consideration from your professor, miss Kim, if she would still count you in as part of the trip - to which she answered with ‘as long as you are able to pass, and as long as you are able to commit to going.’

That, if it weren’t for your deep and utter need to be able to hold on to your love for writing, you had to commit to. Sure it was quite difficult to put a little bit of yourself aside in order to really catch up, but unfortunately that was the only path you could take.

Nothing could ever mentally prepare you for this trip. Not even the two weeks you took of intensive studying by yourself, or that time you learned French for a semester and was put on the spot for it by touring a French transferee around your campus. It wasn’t like you did not know that you were going to likely suffer through his presence; it was hard enough as it is to basically put yourself into isolation - and now he’s one of the first people you were going to see.

You had assumed over text with Chittaphon and miss Kim that your rather late arrival was absolutely fine, since they gave off the vibe that only the two of them were patiently out to wait for you at the gate. So when Chittaphon asked you if you wanted a cup of coffee during the wait, you immediately said yes - as you thought that you looked like such a monstrosity, the caffeine boost was very much appreciated. Except, when you arrived to have a brief catching up with only your professor who was surrounded by a sea of luggage, you felt oddly alarmed.

Alarms did sound off in your head when you turned around to notice Chittaphon and Jung Jaehyun holding excessive amounts of coffee, a very bland look dawned by the boy mentioned in the latter. It was as if he was wiped off of all emotion in one whole sweep of just spotting you, and it hurt to see him that way. It hurt to just see him at all.

How did you even get here a few hours later? Basically melting into your seat next to Jung Jaehyun, you felt like you were slowly going to disappear into a little pile of goo. The feeling in the air was terribly odd, especially when you were trying keep your composure - and you weren’t sure whether the feeling was angry or sad. And you wished your body was capable of turning itself into goo; it could save you the immense torture of the awkward tension that filled the air. Because he was there, he was real, he was sitting right next to you. All your eyes could do was try and distract your brain by looking at all the little cracks between the airplane seats in front of you, not minding that it looked like you were staring at the same cartoon projection of your destination from the small television screen from behind the seats. Chittaphon had betrayed you: admitting earlier that he was responsible for booking these tickets last minute because he took on this responsibility. Apparently you and Jaehyun were meant to sit at least ten rows away from miss Kim and Chittaphon, next to each other, with you seated by the window seat. This was a set up, and clearly it wasn’t working.

The hours between the flight it took for you to get to the layover in Istanbul was mildly uneventful. You weren’t able to really sleep it all off because the coffee kicked in at the wrong time, and it seemed the same way for Jaehyun. Who only took to wearing his AirPods, not sparing you a single glance at all. The way you retaliated was through watching a movie that was available in the files on the little television, not giving in to having to ask him if you could pass and pee in the lavatory - or just so you wouldn’t resort to breaking the ice because it was awfully silent between the two of you to the point where your throat felt tender. When you two got out your chairs to get your luggage in the compartment above the seats, it was basically the same thing. Just beelines to get the hell out of there.

You could see the hopeful look on Chittaphon’s face as he and miss Kim were waiting for the two of you to exit the plane. It was the kind of look that expected you and Jung Jaehyun to be chummy, or to at least have spoken over things and have an air of comfort between the two of you. But the three feet distance between the two of you was pretty explanatory, and your Thai friend had nothing to expect.

“We’re grabbing some breakfast here on the ground before our next flight,” your professor checked her wrist watch, “which is in about four hours? So we have a lot of time to wait and to eat.” She said, oblivious to the drama between her students.

When the four of you left the gate of the plane, Jung Jaehyun quickly grabbed your carry-on bag, which left you a with imaginary question marks planted all over your face. If you had any guts to even say anything, maybe you would ask him what the hell was he playing at, but the thing is - you really, seriously had no guts at all to spare and even try to face him at the moment. So you could not contest the action.

Even when all of you found a restaurant to eat at around the airport, it was odd sight to see having Jung Jaehyun carry only his and your orders back to the table - considering that he and Chittaphon were carrying the orders, and Chittaphon was the person to buy you coffee before your flight to Istanbul. Your hands brushed against against that of Jaehyun’s when he handed you your drink, the the surge of electricity left you even more puzzled.

But when Jung Jaehyun asked you if you were okay as you walked to your next boarding flight the few hours later, you decided you couldn’t do this. You could not understand why you did not feel like you wanted to rip his head off, and instead it even hurt you some place in the chest that you did not know could feel that way. You did not feel angry, and it scared you the most how seeing him could change everything so quickly for you.

“Y/N.” He drawled out, he sounded tired trying to come up with reason.

You didn’t have it in you to answer him, so you rushed on over to sit next to your professor instead - with Chittaphon seeing the look on your face. You were horrified, and you weren’t ready to face Jung Jaehyun.

Needless to say, you were sniffling in your plane seat for the first hour until you fell asleep and tried to keep the tears away.

When you arrive in Thessaloniki in Greece, your brain tries to wrack up all the million different beautiful details of the city. You could go on and on to describe the sight that lay before you, but at the moment you simply could not. It was a place that birthed so many different links to human life, and the many things you have read over the years.

You wished you could say that you could smoothly sail through the beauty of the place without having any bothersome thought in your heart because of the boy you were with on this trip, but you could not say that.

It was interesting to think that you’ve liked him for the longest time, and at some point you realized you were the closest friends - the countless times you would text, share the lamest jokes, watch him play in court and worry about basketball after, share meals, take pictures. He was like your poetry collection: you know it for many things and then you realize that all the tears and smudges meant something deeper. Like how he imbedded himself into your skin, and now it’s way different than what it all was.

After a long day of venturing out on the city alone, since you were given the privilege of time, you found yourself walking through the Promenade of the city - where the bay marries the platforms of concrete, stone, and wood. Even in the cold evening air you painfully wonder what went wrong, and how it all got here.

You knew you loved him still, for sure. It was going to take mountains and seas to change that. You could smell the air of the sea, could feel how your feet tried to balance off every uneven step. It reminded you of loving Jaehyun and being his friend, it just all made sense.

Reaching the White Tower of Thessaloniki, you decide that since it doesn’t close for two hours you could spare some time checking out the museum within the monument. It was built in the fifteenth century during the Byzantine fortification, the structure still standing tall on the waterfront of the city. No doubt it’s been tweaked a bit of times throughout all the years, the lights installed inside screamed anything but natural. But you led yourself through the maze of screen heads to be able to try and find your way to get on the top of the tower in hopes to view the sea in a different way.

You reach the top of the tower, only the lights below you truly light up the night. And once again, farther away from comfort, you are alone.

“Can I stand here?” A voice threatens you out of your melancholy, and you were drawn back to that night at the bar - when Chittaphon and Lisa basically abandoned you at the end of the makeshift long table. It seems that Jung Jaehyun asks you these kinds of questions as if you have property rights over all basic human commodities of chairs and floors, and now bricks and concrete. Even his politeness bothers you.

“Sure.” Is the same answer you pose. And he stands three feet away from you, like he has so far during the duration of this trip.

After a few moments of silence, he speaks. “It’s really beautiful, isn’t it?”

You nod, but it’s not like he is looking at you - because you are trying your best not to look at him. “Thessaloniki is, yes.” But he doesn’t respond to you, and you weren’t expecting a response from him either. Small talk worked that way, and it was hard to maneuver yourself into this ‘conversation.’

“No, not this place.” He says, gently. Before you could even respond, you quickly take a glance at him to try and confirm through his expression what he means to say.

And Jung Jaehyun is looking right at you.

“Jaehyun, I—“ You try and reason out that you aren’t ready to face him like this, not when your heart is shattered into a million pieces. And especially not when you don’t care that your heart is broken because he is right there.

“Remember when I told you about getting scouted by that big league for basketball?” He manages to misdirect you just when you were about to step away, so you end up staying in your tracks. “I was so fucking happy holding you then and there when we were looking over the bay on top of my car, and I realized just how scared I was about the future but you made me feel like it’s an absolutely normal thing to feel scared of the unknown. And maybe I wasn’t so scared after all. The view kind of reminds me of that, but we’re standing so far apart, and I can understand why.”

You don’t know what to say, except to keep the bunch in your throat bundled up in nervousness - how you cannot pinpoint what he is trying to lead to. But you find yourself tearing up at his words, and it is salty when your tears find their way to fit into the crevices of your lips.

“Conversely, I think what makes me more scared is that the only reason why I feel like things will go fine is because I believe you. I always really have, and maybe I’ve been too caught up in trying to preserve our friendship to the point where I simply never wanted to tell you that I’m absolutely stupidly in love with you. You aren’t some charity case of some social sciences paper that fell of the file and landed to my hands. It was a lucky thing that allowed me to get to you, and to realize that my admiration must have meant that I’ve liked you for the longest time. I love you because you complete me, and not because I’m trying to complete you. You’re the three-point shoot that makes me win the game by a landslide, Y/N. Now the only thing I know that really fucking scares the shit out of me is losing you and knowing that I hurt you because I tried falling in love with someone else. It’s you.” Jung Jaehyun explains, then pauses. “You can tell me I was stupid for kissing you on the beach like that, I just thought you meant that you loved me and I didn’t know how long for. You can even tell me to fuck off and never talk to you again, and we can try to be civil and enjoy Thessaloniki for as much as we can fake comfortability. I just want to say I love you for as much as I can before I make you run away from me again, because it sucks to know all too well that I love you and that I hurt you. I’m just, I’m sorry.”

You do not speak for as long as you please, because you are trying to absorb what Jung Jaehyun told you.

“Jung Jaehyun, you’re such a fucking bitch.” Are the last seven words you say until you come closer to him and kiss him as hard as you can. He doesn’t expect this at all, obviously - by the way you could feel his face lift in surprise, and the short lag time it takes for him to kiss you back. It’s as if it’s only the two of you there, and you feel yourself unfold in his touch - like the pain drains away from you slowly.

Then, you think, was it so quaintly beautiful to kiss Jung Jaehyun in a historical landmark. Even more beautiful (and kind of confusing) when you forgive him right away; you have been just as stupid as he has.

“So, you’ve been at home all this time, huh?” He asks, as the two of you awkwardly find your way back to the city’s promenade to buy yourselves some time before heading back to the hotel, the distance between you not so far away - but enough for you to feel the cool of the air.

“Yes, I have.” You answer sheepishly, he has you caught guilty of your preference of a flight mechanism.

You turn to face him and redirect the topic back to him, “congrats on your game, by the way. You really nailed that last shot.”

Jaehyun smiles, “you really went on over and watched?”

“I mean, I had to sit somewhere I knew you wouldn’t see so that it wouldn’t be awkward if you did.”

“Well you know what? It was more awkward when Mark gave me the food you got.”

It is your turn to laugh, “I wouldn’t say much about that. All the other boys caught me and I had to make the delivery a little discrete, it was up to them to assign somebody to give the food to you, Mark was just a little unlucky.”

“I’m only a little disappointed,” he pouts, “I really thought you’d be there to hug me first and to tell me I did a great job after my last collegiate game. I should have told you earlier how I felt; this was all really dumb.”

“In my defense, you know I couldn’t just go up to you and hug you after what happened.”

He smiles sadly, “yeah, I know.”

“Jaehyun, it’s really okay. I mean I did say ‘I love you’ first, so it’s on me.” You try to reassure him, but he tries to compete.

“I loved you first though.” It comes out of his mouth with no tone of doubt.

“No, wrong again.” You hold up a loose hand.

“I loved you ever since we had dinner together for the first time, I think it was really there. I know I’m right.” He justifies, but you raise your voice in comparison.

“I loved you first.” You throw the argument back at him.

“No, I believe I loved you first.” He tries to say, and before a loop of argumentation could even happen you start to babble.

“Jaehyun, I’ve loved you since I saw you smile at Johnny from the back row when we became classmates in English for the first time - I don’t see how you can top that. Besides, you just said that you weren’t sure how long I’ve loved you for.”

He looks confused for a moment, and he doesn’t respond. He takes both his palms and clasps at your arms to stop you from walking and to keep you in place.

“Say that again.” He demands

“I have loved you since freshman year? Is that what you wanted me to say, or?” You try not to sound like you don’t understand why he needs to hear this again. But what you don’t know is, as he holds you a little bit tighter, he never knew you’ve loved him for that long - assuming that when you told him you loved him on the beach shore, you meant only recently.

He looks at you in a way you cannot explain, but he kisses you so deeply. And when he pulls away his eyes are filled with question, “I’m so stupid, god.” He says to himself, but you laugh it off instead. “You’re always a step ahead of me, huh?”

Johnny and Doyoung wake you up for a video call request the next morning, you wake up at the annoying notification sound. Neither miss Kim nor Chittaphon encountered you and Jaehyun together last night as you two took a bus back to the hotel after walking through the promenade, so there was no logical reason in your mind that could link back to why these two out of all people were calling you.

But you answer the video call anyway.

“What?” As the pixelated video connects you ask in a grumbled voice.

“Is Jaehyun not with you?” Doyoung says choppily.

“Huh? Why would Jaehyun be with me?” You are confused, as you’re only really waking up alone in your hotel bed.

“Am I not getting transmissions right, or haven’t the two of you made up or something?” Johnny asks this time.

“And when did you hear that?” You pretend you do not understand.

“Dude, I seriously asked Jaehyun to go and talk to you last night because he was planning on doing it anyway but he was chickening out. He texted me a smile emoji at like three in the morning and I thought that it meant that things were fine, but it must have been a sarcastic smile.” He explains.

“So basically you’ve been tailing me through Jaehyun, and now you’re asking me about it? You have real balls, Seo.”

“Are you and Jaehyun okay or what?” Doyoung demands an answer.

You break character just to piss him off a bit. “Yeah we are, dumb ass.” Johnny sighs out of relief from the other line, at the same time you hear knocking on your hotel door and you lazily scramble to answer it. Once you do open the door Chittaphon decides to just barge in.

“Why—“ You don’t even bother continuing your question, instead you change what you were going to ask. “Am I missing something here, or are you all just inviting yourselves to be part of my morning?”

“I don’t know, Y/N. Aside from the fact that Jaehyun woke up way too early for it to be normal and I could hear him singing in the shower. We aren’t even sharing the same room! He’s staying right next to mine and his energy is annoying. What happened? Did you suddenly profess your love for each other or something.” Chittaphon rants out of frustration, but you can only really laugh at this.

“That is precisely what happened, yes.” You answer him, as your Thai friend notices you’re on call with somebody.

“Oh hey Johnny, Doyoung,” He greets as he unsuccessfully waves his hands in the air, “guess we really are the fundamental bridges to their union.” And Johnny is quick to agree on the other end of the line just by the looks of it.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourselves.” You roll your eyes. It doesn’t take long until the entire basketball team goes on to flood your inbox about how happy they are that everything is suddenly alright. You suppose this is a cute thing, how all of these guys have been delicately concerned with what has been going on. You kind of feel like they are the lost boys of Neverland, wanting Peter and Wendy to kiss and make up. This is something you miss. Much to your dismay during that morning, when Chittaphon finally gets back into a good mood after napping on your bed for thirty minutes - in which you’ve already prepared for the day - you haven’t seen Jaehyun yet.

When you go down to the hotel lobby though, there he is, with his hair a little bit damp but his face thrown into a smile once he lays his eyes on you.

“Good morning, sunshine.” He greets, and it even looks like the sunlight is in chorus with his smile. Unbelievable.

“You look way too happy for it to be comfortable.” You comment, but he pulls you into a hug.

“We’re okay now, right?” He asks, and you chuckle into his chest.

“Jung Jaehyun, if we weren’t okay I wouldn’t allow you to do this to me.”

He hums. “I just wanted to say that I love you,” you laugh at him again like it’s the silliest thing in the world to hear— but you are surprised to know that Jaehyun is serious, “I have to make up for the years we could have been in this position, and I could have said it sooner.”

And that’s what Jung Jaehyun does, in every single alleyway and every corner you walk in Thessaloniki. He reminds you that he loves you. When your fingers trace through beautiful words written on the walls of museums, and look through the art piled up in random streets - he tells you he loves you and how you write, and how you tend to overanalyze everything of art you see. He takes notes of this when he takes pictures of you when you are not looking, and you smile when you take unflattering photos of him in return. When he takes your hand, and realizes you are all there is. When he is inside you, and you see how his eyes glint with each time he says that it’s you.

It doesn’t scare you when you get home from Greece. When you have to finally face the music and go back to school, people gawking at the sight of Jung Jaehyun being so outwardly open about the two of you being a couple. It doesn’t scare you to wait for each other after class to go back to getting dinners, and this time spending more and more time with each other. When Jaehyun asks you to be his girlfriend that time when he shadily asks you to go into the court because he said he wanted you to watch him throw his last hoops before the two of you get out of school. It doesn’t scare you when the two of you graduate a while later, and he’s automatically placed into professional basketball, while you’re assigned to do field work for a publishing company that offers travels abroad to investigate history and to simply absorb the world. College turns out to be way faster than you thought; one day you’re crushing on this basketball champion from the bleachers, one day you become hopelessly inseparable, and the next he’s your boyfriend.

Just a few days ago you handed him perfectly straightened envelopes filled with letters you want him to read for each day the two of you would be separated. He was going to intensively train for a while to condition himself in one of their facilities a few states away, while you were off to Crete to take note of significant landmarks and events there. It seemed that you could never have enough of Greece.

“You aren’t coming with me this time.” You talk to him on the phone before you were to board your plane.

“Unfortunately,” he says with a little bit of sadness, “but I’ll see you sooner than you know it, okay?”

“I know, Jae. It isn’t like we’re going to die without each other, this is the fifth time we’re going to be apart for the year but we’re fine. We have to get used to the set up.” You kid, and you practically feel his deep laugh from the other line.

“Oh don’t jinx it, please!” Jaehyun exclaims. “I feel like my heart is going to burst into pieces not being able to hold you.”

“Again, you aren’t going to die Jaehyun, so you better take care of yourself while we’re apart.” You recall the first time he had to go into training and you had to stay behind, Taeyong called you multiple times to say that Jaehyun would refuse to eat because he wasn’t used to the sudden quiet (even though he was with the noisiest bunch in the planet.) He wouldn’t sleep well either, and stay up all night reading because he said it reminded him of you. It took a lot of convincing but eventually you got him to get back on track, which honestly meant threatening him. “If you don’t take care of yourself, I’m going to make sure to beat your ass in return, and you should know that I mean it.”

“Breakfast and dinner don’t taste the same without you.” He whines like a child.

“You’re such a child Jaehyun—“

“I love you.”

Even if he’s said it a million times, it still puts you at a loss of words sometimes.

“My uh, my flight’s boarding. Love you too.” You’re forced to end the call before he can say a goodbye, and although you tell him not to miss you so much - you cannot tell him that you probably miss him more, if not as much.

Crete’s sun is only a little forgiving when you arrive, it is not to hot - but hot enough to bring your face into a scowl. It’s a little bit more calming in Crete than it is in the city you’re from; the streets aren’t as crowded as you would have expected upon your arrival, and the air feels just fine. For a few seconds you think that it might be a little bit easier not to miss Jaehyun, but then you realize that every single little thing you see you automatically remember him - and you want to bring him here just so the two of you can spend more time with each other.

On your first three days in Crete, you try to familiarize yourself with the place. Opting to really try and take a feel at how things are here and how life is, you find yourself exploring places in a quest of getting out of this loneliness you feel. The sun has left your skin in a reddish tint, and the looseness of clothing you carry around just screams how you’re ready for adventure. Chittaphon sent you a link to a few places he heard of from other friends, and that’s how you decided to go around. Eventually, you find yourself in an odd library that offers the sight of artifacts and statues, this is after scouring around looking for some place to eat. You haven’t heard from Jaehyun for the past three days either but you text him a good morning and a good night message each day, you think that the reason why he hasn’t been responding or updating you is probably because he’s too busy training - and it’s happened a lot anyway. So you resort to being on your phone less and try not to think about how much you miss him.

That is, until your phone starts ringing.

“Hello?” You don’t have to look at caller ID twice to know it’s Jaehyun, but the other line is silent. “Jaehyun?” Still no answer, but you don’t have it in you to end the call because it’s him calling.

“You’re looking at the displays of Artemis.” He says after a while.

“Hm,” you look around, and you think he’s only joking but you do notice the display incased in glass, “stalker.”

“And you’re holding a red leather bound book?” Jaehyun continues on but sounds unsure.

A ‘tsk’ leaves your lips, and suddenly you’re on panic mode. “It’s getting a little bit creepy.” You comment and he laughs, but this time it sounds louder than it’s naturally supposed to. So when you turn around to wonder what the hell’s wrong with your phone, you see Jaehyun standing there with his phone pressed up against his ear. You jump on to hug him, and you can feel the vibrations of his laughter. This is the last thing you ever expected. But apparently Jaehyun had to lie about having training; he was given some time off after exceeding his expected performance for the season, and this would be a good way to surprise you.

“Hey.” He peeks over to the book you’re holding: the myth of Icarus and Daedalus.

For a while you wonder if he’s really here, and in a deeper sense - you wonder how he’s your’s and how you ever ended up here. “You’re here.” You say, out of breath.

“I am, with you.” He smiles the smile you love the most.

“I love you.” You bury yourself into his chest, you want to bask yourself in his presence. How he’s here.

“I love you.”

Jung Jaehyun could never say he regretted flying too close to the sun, if it meant falling for you.

fin.

#jaehyun imagine #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun smut #jung yoonoh #nct 127 #nct #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct scenarios #nct scenario #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #jung jaehyun x reader #jaehyun fic #jaehyun fanfic

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

Text

Little Sunshine (Miss Venable x reader x Alice Macray)

okay..hi :) this is reallyyyy long xD And its the story of this 3 cuties and how they fell in love with each other.. Well, its a little bit like the 3. part of “purple roses” (purple roses u can find here: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/640902350735818752/purple-roses-ms-venable-x-reader )

I know, that there is no second part online today, but there will be! If u didnt read the first part, u dont need to, coz i wrote this fanfiction that way, that u dont have to read the first part, i guess its angst idk

anygays my english is a mess, thats why i use google translate:’)

can we just talk about the fact, how perfect alice and mina would match? Mina the hot top with all that bdsm vibes and on the other hand we got the cute and innocent Alice sksksks

I guess Mina is the protagonist of this fanfic

A good description of your relationship would have been complicated. Because it was all incredibly complicated. Don't get me wrong, you loved your girlfriends and they loved you, but sometimes when you woke up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head against your chest, you might just be confused how all of that could be possible.

And sometimes you couldn't help but wonder what your life would be like without one of your girlfriends. But you knew that you could never live without one of them, that was a fact.

You needed both to be happy, there was no other way.

Mina brought firmness and structure into your life. Thanks to her, you had developed routines for your daily routine and were no longer so distracted. And you loved the fact about her that she was more rational than emotional about things.

And every time she went on a business trip and left Alice and you at home alone, a huge mess broke out and all structures were thrown away.

You would oversleep in the morning, be late for work and your house would turn into a huge disaster and mess.

It just wouldn't work without Mina.

Alice, on the other hand, was the most innocent, gentle, and naive person you had ever met. Mina helped you solve your problems, but Alice helped you understand and accept them. In addition, Alice was incredibly cute and she was fantastic at cooking.

And whenever you needed it, she was there to hug you and tell you how much she loved you.

And the proof that it wouldn't work without Alice was the relationship you had with Mina before Alice came into your life. At the moment when everything you had with Mina broke, it seemed like God would have sent a gentle angel to save you.

----------------------

"This is going to be a new record .." you said as you leaned into the door frame to watch your girlfriend who was still working at her desk.

"What do you mean?", She lifted her gaze from her laptop in confusion to stare at you with a frown.

"You have been home for 4 hours and are still working .."

Mina sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I just have to make one phone call and then I'm done .." she muttered with her eyes closed.

"You always say that ..." you started, shaking your head. "One last phone call, one last document, one last email ... and then it's 10 p.m."

Mina was startled at your words and took a quick look at the clock on her laptop. You were right, it was 10 p.m.

"I doesn't matter ..." you sighed and turned to go back into the hallway.

"I'm going to bed, good night Wilhemina ..."

"Good night .." she replied quietly and stared after you.

Wilhemina.

That's what you called her only when you were angry.

Mina swore quietly and grabbed her phone before dialing the directory assistance number and letting it ring.

"Uhm..Hello, you're connected to the directory assistance, I'm Alice ..", came a soft female voice, which sounded a bit too happy for Mina's taste.

"I want you to find Lennox Fischer's private email address for me ..", Mina said in a commanding tone.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment before the woman, Alice, continued.

"We have actually been closed since 6 p.m. .."

"Then you shouldn't have answered the call, could you still find this address for me?" Mina sighed and propped her chin on her palm.

"Give me a minute ... I've only been working here for a few weeks ...", Alice laughed nervously and Mina closed her eyes in annoyance.

"That's when I realize I shouldn't have told you my name .." Alice remarked after a few seconds.

"How tragic .." Mina replied ironically and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Do you have the email address?"

"I'm sorry..but what was the name again?"

"Damn it, it's not that difficult. Then why do you have this job if you can't get anything done anyway? I've rarely met someone who is as damn unqualified as you," barked Mina and slapped the table with the flat of her hand.

"You have no idea .." the other woman yelled back.

"Can you all stop being so impatient with me? I'm only human too ... And all because you're too lazy to look for it yourself and now take out your frustration on me ... I'm getting this right now not paid either, so it takes as long as it takes. And if you have a problem with it, fuck off.."

Miss Venable stared in confusion at the phone in her hand.

"Uhm, I'm sorry ..", she stammered overwhelmed.

"It's just that my girlfriend is impatiently waiting for me to finally get to bed .."

On the other end of the phone, Alice snorted.

"Yours too, yes? Get a divorce from her, even if she's just your girlfriend, it makes everything easier..You know- "

"Lennox Fischer ..", Mina interrupted the woman to bring her back to the subject.

"Oh yeah .. m'sorry .." Alice muttered and laughed nervously again. "You have to know that I got divorced from my husband two months ago and it's all a little bit complicated .."

"Aha."

"Well, I now have his email address, can you write it down? Then I'll dictate it to you .." Alice said and Mina sat down straight again to type in the email address down that Alice dictated to her on the phone.

"Good .." Alice said and sounded polite again.

"Then I thank you for your call and hope I could help you .."

Mina let out a small snort and had to grin at the strange woman.

"I have to thank you .." she muttered before hanging up and finally shutting down her laptop.

When she finally opened the door to your bedroom, you were lying with your back to her in bed and she couldn't tell whether you were still awake or already asleep. She undressed quietly and then climbed into bed behind you.

"Honey?" She whispered softly as she leaned over to gently press kisses against your exposed shoulder. "Are you still awake?"

"Nope .." you made with your eyes closed and Mina laughed quietly.

You blinked against the darkness of the room as you turned your head to face her. Your girlfriend was hunched over you naked, looking guiltily at you. After staring at her for a moment, you reached out your hand to reach behind her head and carefully pulled the hair tie out of her hair. Long red hair fell down her face and the ends of her hair tickled your cheeks.

"I'm done with everything now .." she whispered, smiling gently.

"Now is half past ten ..", your hand slid from the back of her head to her cheek to linger there.

"Now is a little bit late.."

"I know and I'm sorry .." she muttered and you could hear the regret in her voice. But a simple "sorry" wasn't enough for you anymore.

You sighed before you sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"Look, I know you have to work a lot, but sometimes it's just too much you know?"

Mina, who had also leaned against the headboard, nodded shortly before you continued.

"It's not about that the whole thing can't be healthy for you. I mean more us ... Although that might be a bit selfish, I know you love your work, but I uhm .. I don't know- you know, you work all the time and even on weekends and I know it's not your fault, but I just can't do this anymore..I'm sorry that I claim your affection so much, but I just need you and you have no time .. "

Carefully you looked over at Mina, who sadly returned your gaze.

"I'm sorry .." she whispered and grabbed your hand to pull you close to her so you could rest your head on her chest.

"I'll do better, I promise .."

"I know I'm no better myself .." you muttered as she began to comb through your hair gently.

"As a professor at this college, I have to work a lot too, but not until 10 p.m."

"I'll do better .." she repeated and you smiled before leaning over to press your lips against her cheek for a moment.

"That's all I want .." you pulled back and lay back on your side of the bed. Your girlfriend was not long in coming and lay behind you before she put an arm around you and pulled you back to her.

"What do you think if we go out after work tomorrow ..?" She whispered in your ear.

You hummed in agreement. "That's a great idea..".

"Yes?"

"Yeah .." you muttered with your eyes closed.

"Good night Mina ..".

"Good night baby .."

---------------

You slammed the car door angrily before turning around to stomp up the steps to your front door. You were angry. Very angry. After you hurried to get off work as quickly as possible, you drove to the restaurant where you had an appointment, only to wait an hour for someone who didn't come and now you drove back home and then to see Mina's car parked in the garage.

"Wilhemina fucking Venable .." you shouted as you opened the front door.

"How dare you humiliate me so much ..".

You ran to her workspace and as you expected she was sitting at her desk in front of her laptop and seemed to be working. Her brown eyes widened when she saw you angrily standing in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry ..", she stammered and got up.

"Oh of course you are .." you hissed with narrowed eyes.

"I called you 4 times while I sat in this stupid restaurant for an hour .. You can't imagine how embarrassing it was, the waiter felt so sorry for me that I didn't have to pay for my tea .. "

Your girlfriend stared helplessly at you.

"Like I said, I'm sorry, Y / N .. i was just so busy and then I forgot .."

"So do you admit you've forgotten? You know, at one point I thought you might be doing this on purpose because you think it's funny."

"I never could, I-", she began, but you raised your hand to silence her.

"The only problem is that you always do that .." you bit your lip.

"You promise me so often that you will spend time with me only to then skip it for your work .. Then just leave it straight away and I don't always have to make myself hopes, only to be disappointed ..".

"Y / N please .. I'm as good as finished .. We can still go somewhere and have dinner ..", she looked at you desperately, but you just shook your head.

"Just forget it, Mina .." you muttered before turning around to leave her workspace . She looked after you sadly before let out a frustrated moan and slumped back into her desk chair.

How could she have forgotten?

Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and dialed the directory assistance number like the night before.

"Hello, you are connected to Directory Assistance .." said the same soft voice as last night.

"Alice ..", Mina remarked and didn't really want to notice.

"Ohh you're the rude woman from last night .." Alice laughed on the other end of the phone.

"The one with the impatient girlfriend .."

"Now more likely the one with the hating girlfriend ..".

"What did you do wrong?", Mina could hear real concern in the woman's voice and that confused her. She didn't even know this woman.

"She's upset because I always move her for work .." she mumbled.

"It's not your fault if you have to work."

"Exactly! ..", Mina shouted loudly and was surprised by her own volume.

At the other end it was quiet and Mina noticed that the whole thing was more than just private right now. She cleared her throat just before continuing.

"Can you find out Leigh Chaplin's phone number for me?"

"Of course..give me a minute .." Alice muttered and Mina heard Alice tapping on the keyboard through the receiver. For a brief moment Mina thought about just hanging up. That call was quite weird and had taken on a very personal direction. But just when she really wanted to hang up, Alice began to dictate the phone number to her and she had to take notes.

--------------------

Mina had decided to make amends for what had happened a few days ago. The only problem was, whenever you had time, she couldn't. And once she was done with everything, you had to work. It was a never-ending cycle that dragged you both further and further down. And the worst part was that you both knew that and still couldn't do anything about it. She loved her work as much as you loved yours and neither of you would ever be willing to sacrifice your work for the other.

And yet Mina had decided to make it up to you and that meant for her to help you with saving time. That's why she was now at the city library to bring back the books for you that you had borrowed a few weeks ago. Actually you had your own little library in your house, because you valued books very much, but at some point all these books were read and you were both not people who read books again.

And as a college professor, you had a habit of researching books rather than the internet anyway.

Here she was now, hobbling her stick through the library building. Which turned out to be quite difficult as she was holding your books in one arm and then had to go through the big building with her stick. If she were to trip and fall, she would have no way of catching herself. Mina knew that this would probably never happen, but still she didn't like the feeling.

But of course it happened as it had to, as always in such situations. It wasn't Mina who fell, but it was one of the books that slipped out of the crook of her arm and landed with a thud on the wooden floor of the library. How much she hated that ... such situations were almost unbearable for her. Simply because it was embarrassing to know that because of her scoliosis she was unable to bend down to pick up the book herself.

She wanted to swear loudly, but she knew that a library might not be the best place for this. She poked her senselesslyn stick around on the book and tried to put it upright somehow, only to grab it. But it was useless. Of course it had to be the thickest of your books that she had dropped. Her stick seemed to be against it like a thin branch.

"Let me help you .." suddenly came a soft voice from behind her and made her flinch. Mina turned around and looked into the friendly face of a petite woman with light brown hair.

"Your book ..", the woman said when Mina didn't answer and pointed to it with an outstretched finger. Again Miss Venable didn't answer and just stared at the woman in front of her. She was 100% sure she had never seen her before, but her voice ... She knew that soft voice, she just didn't know where from.

Without hesitating for another second, the strange woman bent down and picked up the book.

"You are welcome ..", she smiled and put the book back in the crook of Mina.

"Thank you ..", Mina mumbled, still staring at the woman in front of her, confused.

"I'm sorry, but do we know each other?"

"I think I would know that..", the woman laughed and suddenly Mina knew who she was looking at.

"You're Alice .." she uttered. "Alice from directory assistance ..".

Alice's eyes widened.

"Then you must be the one with the impatient, hating girlfriend .."

Mina's pale skin turned red at the other woman's words and she began tapping the floor with her stick in an irregular rhythm, as she always did when she was nervous.

"I may have exaggerated a bit .." she muttered. "She doesn't hate me ..".

"Well, I'm glad .." Alice honestly smiled before she nodded at the books in Mina's arms with her chin. "By the way, you have a very good taste in books .."

Mina's gaze followed that of the woman in front of her and landed on the book that she had dropped.

"Oh..these aren't my books, my girlfriend read them .."

"So she has a very good taste in books ...".

Mina nodded briefly while she was still staring at Alice. The fact that she had actually met this woman was so weird that it couldn't be a coincidence.

"Uhm .. I should bring the books back .." she muttered and Alice nodded quickly.

"I can wait .." said Alice.

"So .. if you want .." she added quickly when she noticed Mina frown.

Mina narrowed her eyes while she could only stare again. Alice exuded such confidence and she was so kind, it was like she couldn't help but agree.

"Okay .." Mina muttered. "Just give me a minute ..".

Alice's eyes began to glow.

"Perfect .." she said, beaming. "I'll wait outside."

Mina nodded shortly before leaving Alice to return the books.

"Where is your car?" Mina asked Alice as she stepped out of the library.

"Oh uhm I came here on foot .." Alice muttered and Mina frowned.

"It's getting dark .." she said curtly and Alice, who obviously didn't know what to do with that remark, nodded shortly.

"I can drive you home."

Mina studied Alice's face for any dislikes, but the woman just smiled again.

"That would be nice..".

Mina nodded again before going to her car with Alice.

"Well ..", Mina began after getting into the car with Alice.

"Where do you live?" She looked at Alice from the side, who was desperately trying to put the strap over her blouse so that it wouldn't crease.

"Uhm..Woodhill Avenue ..", the woman mumbled when she was finally satisfied.

"You can't be serious ..", Mina stared at Alice, not sure whether to laugh or be upset. "We live on the same street .."

"Oh really?" Alice's eyes lit up again.

Mina just hummed in agreement before starting the car.

For a few minutes they drove through the crowded streets and neither said a word. And although something like that was usually uncomfortable, at that moment it was actually quite pleasant, at least that's what Mina thought.

"Actually we know the whole neighborhood, but I've never heard of an Alice, nor have I seen you ...", she said finally as she turned into the long street of Woodhill Avenue.

"Well .. actually I don't live there .. I think I told you that I separated from my husband and since then I've been living with my daughter ..", Alice explained and Mina didn't even need to look at her to see how the woman was uncomfortable with the topic.

"I'm sorry .." she said curtly.

"Oh no .. you know, I'm happy the way it is now, at least I'm happier than I was with Buck a few months ago ..".

Mina didn't know what to answer, so she decided not to say anything again.

"Do you know the people who live in this house?" Alice suddenly asked and pointed to the building that Mina referred to as her home. "Venable and Y / L / N are their names .. My daughter told me that everyone is afraid of them .."

Mina stared at Alice and when she realized that the woman was serious, she started to laugh.

"Is it really that bad that everyone is afraid of us?", Mina said and couldn't help but grin as she watched the eyes of the woman next to her widen.

"Wait..I- you live in the house with your girlfriend?" Alice stammered and Mina nodded.

"I'm so sorry ... God ..this embarrassing .."

Alice buried her face in her hands and stared between her fingers at the house where you lived with Mina.

"Well, it's a nice house ..", she muttered, trying to get out of this situation somehow. Mina just snorted in amusement before continuing down the street with the car.

"Which house does your daughter live in?"

"In the green one over there .." Alice muttered and Mina's eyes landed on a green low-rise building.

"Ohh your daughter is Evangeline ..", Mina remarked as she parked the car in front of the house.

"You know her?" Alice sounded confused.

Mina nodded.

"I've never really spoken to her before, but I know her .."

"Okay .." Alice frowned before reaching for the seat belt to unbuckle her.

"That's when I notice, I don't even know what your name is ..".

"Miss Venable .." Mina said curtly and bit the inside of her cheek.

"uhm..or Wilhemina .."

Alice smiled.

"Well, then thank you, Wilhemina, for taking me home .."

"Good Night, Alice ..", Mina muttered and had to smile again.

"Good Night .." Alice repeated before getting out of the car and disappearing into the green house. And Mina couldn't help but stare after her.

In her mind, for whatever reason, she was back on the day the two of you had met in the flower shop where you had been working at the time. Even then, she had wanted to smile all the time.

When Mina finally stood in front of the house for a few minutes and finally decided to go home, she felt nothing but guilty feelings and she did not know who these feelings were for: Alice, because Mina had let her go or you, because she felt exactly the same things right now as she did when you and Mina first met.

----------------------

It was Saturday evening and Alice was on her way to the house of the interesting woman she had met in person a few days ago. Somewhere she had a guilty conscience, as it was already 10 p.m. and it was probably impolite to disturb Mina so late, but she really wanted to see Wilhemina again and at the same time she really wanted to get to know you.

She stepped onto the site of your house and hesitantly raised her hand to the bell before finally pressing her finger against the little button.

When two minutes later still nothing had moved, Alice actually wanted to turn around and go home, but then she remembered that Mina probably needed longer due to her stick and that's why she stayed. And actually a few seconds later an angry looking Mina opened the door for her.

When Alice saw Mina's angry look, she was afraid for a moment that she had more than just disturbed, but when Mina recognized her, her look softened.

"Alice .." Mina uttered happily and Alice could see the woman in front of her trying to suppress a smile, which she failed.

"Uhm..I hope I'm not bothering .." Alice gave Mina, who quickly shook her head, a bright smile.

"No .." said the woman, her face serious again. "How can I help you?"

"Uhm well, I've got something for your girlfriend .." Alice muttered as she reached into her pocket to get the book out before she passed it to Mina.

"I saw on Thursday that your friend had checked out the first part .. I thought she might want to read the second part too .. It doesn't exist in the library .."

"Oh that's nice ..", Mina picked up the book.

"But unfortunately she's not at home all weekend because of a seminar .."

Alice frowned

"Are you sure you're the one who transfers his girlfriend because of work?" She asked and watched Mina just shake her head.

"I think you have a completely wrong picture of her ..", Mina muttered and chewed her lower lip.

"Isn't that important either, do you want to come in?"

"Sure .." Alice nodded quickly and started smiling again.

When Mina led Alice into the living room, Alice couldn't help but be impressed. The walls of the great room were lined up with full bookshelves sorted in alphabetical order. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling and was not switched on because a fire was burning in a large marble fireplace. In the middle of the room was a large dark red carpet on which a dark wing chair, a couch made of the same dark fabric and a square wooden table with short table legs stood.

Alice's gaze caught on the wing chair Mina had obviously been sitting in, before Alice rang the bell. A blanket lay untidy on the seat, covered with an open book and on the table was a half-empty glass with red wine. On the edge of the glass Alice could see traces of Mina's dark lipstick.

"Excuse the chaos, please ..", she heard Mina say behind her. Alice let out a low snort.

"Chaos .." she repeated mumbling and turned to Mina. Except for the few things on the wing chair, the house seemed to have been furnished down to the last detail.

"Do you drink wine?" Asked Mina, clutching her stick with both hands.

"Sure." Alice replied curtly.

"Red or white?"

"White, please ..".

"Well, then wait here for a moment ..", Mina said before turning around to leave the room.

Alice looked after the woman briefly before going to the dark sofa to sit on it. She sat there for a moment, but then the pictures on the mantelpiece caught her eye and she got up again to walk to the fireplace to take a closer look at the pictures.

All of the pictures showed Mina and a woman Alice was unfamiliar with, but Alice was smart enough to say that it was you, Mina's girlfriend.

And she noticed that Mina was right when she said Alice had the wrong picture of you. You didn't see at all like someone that could be impatient or strict. All these pictures showed you laughing honestly, with a cocky twinkle in your eyes. And of course Mina, who, as always, tried to suppress her smile. Alice grinned at the thought.

Each picture showed a different moment, presumably dates or vacations and all in one, Alice thought that you and Mina looked cute together, at least in the photos.

"So you've already discovered Y / N's altar .." mumbled Mina, who suddenly appeared next to Alice.

"Oh yes .. It's cute ..", Alice said and took the glass of white wine, which Mina held out to her before she mumbled a little "thank you".

"I think it's rather cheesy, but it was her idea ..", Mina stared critically at the pictures and for a few seconds neither said anything.

"She's pretty .." Alice finally remarked and Mina just nodded.

"She is.."

Alice's gaze wandered carefully from the pictures to Mina, who was staring sadly down at the pictures.

"You know, I think this is what I like the most .." she suddenly mumbled and tapped an actually inconspicuous picture with her finger. It showed you both in your winter coats squinting your eyes against the flash of the selfie camera. It was also pretty blurry.

"I know it's nothing special .." Mina explained. "But the moment behind it was special ... It was New Year's Eve last year and shortly before midnight we climbed onto the roof of the skyscraper in which she lived at the time, to watch the fireworks from there. I remember exactly how she was angry when I forced her to come on the roof with me .. it was pretty cold ..

But I wanted it to be special when I propose to her .. "

Alice's eyes widened.

"Are you engaged?"

Mina shook her head and smiled sadly.

"We were engaged .. but she broke off the engagement three months ago until .. until things were settled .. You already know how complicated everything is at the moment .."

Alice looked worriedly into Mina's sad eyes before slowly nodding.

"I understand .." she said softly.

"You know, I really love her, but it's just so weird .." Mina pinched the bridge of her nose. "I met her a couple of years ago in the flower shop she worked and earned next to nothing and actually had a shitty life, and now she's been working as a professor for a college for a few months and is finally happy with that... and that is great, don't get me wrong, but we hardly have no time for each other, because now she also has to work long hours ... and it's like she pretends that it's all my fault .. "

"I'm sorry .." Alice muttered before stretching out her arms and pulling the woman into a hug. Alice felt that Mina was uncomfortable when she lay tense in her arms, but when she wanted to withdraw, Mina quickly put her arms around Alice and hugged her back. Alice put her head on Mina's shoulder and inhaled the woman's lavender perfume. They stayed that way for a few minutes, until Mina finally cleared her throat and withdrew.

"M'sorry .." she muttered without looking at Alice and Alice could see the tear marks on her face.

"We shouldn't talk about this anymore .."

Alice nodded quickly. "If I got too close to you, I'm sorry .. "

She followed Mina, who sat down on the couch and sat with enough space next to her.

"Now that you've heard my shit, I'd love to hear yours .." Mina said, giving Alice a subtle sideways look. Alice blinked a few times and thought about it for a moment. Actually, she didn't really know the woman and a divorce is not really a pleasant topic for an evening like this, but a few seconds ago Mina had stood in her arms and cried, so what was wrong with it?

"Uhm .. so I've been divorced for 2 months ..", she began and for the next two hours she told Mina the whole story with Phyllis Schlafly, the E.R.A. and that Houston had somehow opened her eyes and she'd been working on directory assistance ever since. She told Mina about her children and that she couldn't believe she was a grandma. And then she told her about Buck and that for a few years she had wondered if what she had with him was really what she wanted the rest of her life to be.

To be honest, Alice wouldn't normally have been so talkative if it wasn't because of the alcohol. She usually didn't drink, so a glass of Mina's expensive white wine was enough to get her drunk.

"You know, I only noticed now how bad that asshole was in bed ..." she laughed out loud and held onto Mina's thigh. "Well in any case our house belongs to him and I have to live with my daughter .."

Mina, who was just as sober as she was a few hours earlier, might have been a little overwhelmed by Alice's drunkenness, but somehow she found it incredibly cute.

"I'm sorry .." she muttered and Alice missed the worried look the woman was giving her.

"Yikes .." Alice suddenly made as she stared intently at the clock on the wall.

"Am I wrong or is it 14 minutes past midnight?"

Mina was shocked at her words and had to find out that it was actually that late.

"I should call your daughter, then she can pick you up ..".

"Oh let Evangeline sleep .." Alice waved her off.

"I can just sleep with you .. you know I like you, you're nice to me and don't treat me like the failure that I am. Even if you were pretty mean to me on the phone ..".

Alice grinned crookedly before leaning forward and dropping her head into Mina's lap. Mina winced and immediately got up to let Alice rudely fall back on the sofa. The drunk woman let out a low wail and looked reproachfully up at Mina.

"We should put you to bed .." she mumbled and pulled Alice into an upright position before she gently grabbed her arm and pulled her up the stairs with her.

"Uhm .. this is the guest room ...", Mina muttered as they stood in the door frame of the room. Alice stared into the beautifully decorated guest room, which was so much better than the sofa she'd slept on for months. But it wasn't what she wanted.

"You know, I can sleep with you..", she remarked and looked carefully at Mina, who seemed frozen.

"Okay .." Mina finally said before stepping out of the doorway and leading Alice into your bedroom.

A large king-size bed stood with its head against the wall and filled most of the room. One side of the bed faced the door. Alice' gaze ran to the bedside cabinet on this side of the bed and could see reading glasses, a pill box and a tube of some kind of cream next to a small lamp. She suspected that Mina slept here. The other nightstand was a lot messier. Unused kleenex were piled on top of each other while a pair of gold earrings lay on the lamp stand. On one corner of the cupboard was an empty glass, but it was definitely used. And then there was a big black hairbrush and either it was Mina's red hair that was caught in it or you had the same hair color as your girlfriend, which Alice found unlikely. On the wall next to this side of the bed was a large painting with some flowers on it. Alice's eyes wandered to a large ground plant that stood in the corner of the room. She noticed that she had seen beautiful flowers all over the house and she remembered Mina saying that you had once worked in a flower shop.

All in all it was a nice bedroom, but Alice only saw the best part when she had stepped completely into the room:

On the wall opposite the foot of the bed was a huge picture window, which allowed a view of the neighborhood and the beautiful night sky. That was the advantage if you didn't live in the city. Alice couldn't help but grin than her eyesremained hanging on the black grand piano, which crowned the bedroom on top of everything else.

"A piano in the bedroom?", She turned to Mina, grinning, who turned red for whatever reason.

"Y / N can play the piano and when I gave this one to her, she wanted it to be here ..", Mina explained and nervously began tapping the floor with her stick to a random rhythm.

"It's pretty cheesy, but you should hear her play ...".

Alice nodded quickly and put on a neutral expression again when she realized that Mina didn't like her grin.

"I imagine it would be nice to wake up in the morning and then hear the piano .." she muttered and looked back at the piano.

"Anyway ..", Mina said and held her stick tighter again.

"We're about the same size, you can have my nightgown if you want ..".

Alice turned back to her and gave the woman a grateful smile.

"That would be nice..".

Mina only nodded shortly before she left the room, only to come back a minute later in a lavender nightgown.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom while you can do this here ..", she explained as Alice took the nightgown and mumbled a little "thank you".

And less than 5 minutes later Alice, who was actually still drunk, was lying in bed next to a completely stranger and, like Mina, stared at the ceiling in silence. And yet she would have preferred nowhere and it was the first evening in weeks that she could fall asleep without any worries.

---------------------

Contrary to Mina's guess, the next morning hadn't been weird at all. Actually nothing special had happened, but Mina had been worried about Alice's drunkenness, but the woman had been kind as always.

And while everything was fine between Alice and her, she worried about what was between her and you. She felt incredibly guilty and could never have told you that a strange woman had slept in your bed. Mina knew that Alice was way too innocent to think anything about it when she and Mina shared the bed, but you didn't know Alice and you would never understand.

Miss Venable couldn't deny that the brunette had turned her head. Alice was so gentle, it was almost impossible to feel uncomfortable in her presence and Mina finally had someone who understood her and who showed her compassion.

And when you came home on Sunday night and she pushed you right against your front door to kiss you passionately, she did that not only to show you how much she had missed you, but also to prove to herself that she still loved you . Because she did, but what she felt when she saw Alice confused her feelings and it scared her.

It was Thursday afternoon and Mina was on her way home. She had tried again and again over the past few days to show you how much she loved you, but for whatever reason, that only made it worse. At least you just seemed to get a little bit more bitter every day, and she couldn't explain why.

Mina let out an aggressive growl when she sounded the horn because the light turned green and the idiot in front of her stopped driving.

She had got out of work late and now had to hurry to get home, even if she didn't really want to go there. You'd only be disappointed again because she was late again.

Nervously, she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove home as fast as she could. She was almost in your street when she spotted none other than Alice on the pedestrian path and automatically her bad mood had flown away. Mina stopped next to Alice on the side of the road before pulling down the passenger door window to see Alice's surprised face.

"Jesus Mina .." Alice exclaimed, clutching her chest.

Mina raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"I thought church mice dont swear ..".

"Actually, I don't swear either .." Alice stammered. "But do you have any idea how scary it is when someone pulls up their car next to you?"

"So am I someone then?"

"No .. but .. you know what I mean ..".

Mina nodded curtly before leaning forward to open the passenger door.

"I guess, you want to go home?"

"Oh yes ..", Alice smiled gratefully at Mina before climbing into the car.

"So how are you Mina?" Alice asked after they had driven for a few minutes.

"M'fine ..", Mina mumbled and was well aware that she was lying.

"Good to hear .." Alice said, sounding in as good a mood as ever.

"How did Y / N find the book?"

Fuck.

Mina bit her lip.

"So uhm..I didn't give it to her..Y / N doesnt know you were with me .. "

"Oh ..", uttered the woman next to her and didn't sound that happy anymore.

"I may not be allowed to interfere, but I think you should talk to her .."

"About what?" Mina frowned.

"About how you feel .. Tell Y / N that you feel misunderstood and make it clear to her that it is not your fault ..".

Mina didn't answer and concentrated on driving again.

"You know, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, so talk to her, I think that might help .."

Great, thought Mina and bit the inside of her cheek. Talking about feelings, that was exactly her thing.

She stopped in silence next to Alice's daughter's green house.

"Thanks, Mina ..", Alice mumbled and wanted to open the car door to get out, but Mina stopped her by locking the whole car.

Alice turned to her in confusion before Mina grabbed her by the collar of her blouse, pulled her close and pressed her lips against Alice's.

Alice let out a shocked whimper and Mina immediately withdrew.

For a few seconds both women stared at each other. Alice looked totally overwhelmed and horrified, while Mina slowly realized what she had just done.

Without a word she opened the car doors and not a second later Alice jumped out of the car before running into the house.

A few minutes passed and Mina didn't move an inch. She stared at the street in front of her, trying to understand what had just happened.

All she wanted was to solve the problems between you and her and now she had kissed another woman. Damn it.

She let out a loud scream and hit the steering wheel before leaning forward to lean her forehead against it. A few more minutes passed while she cried against the leather. She hated being so emotional, right now when so many feelings were boiling in her at the same time and she couldn't define all of these things.

After she had calmed down a bit, she took a few deep breaths before starting the car and driving home.

"I'm home, baby .." she called in a thin voice after entering your house.

"Oh, finally ..", she heard you sigh before you appeared in the hallway. Your usual smile faded when you saw her and you frowned.

"What?" Mina asked nervously and chewed her lower lip.

"You have lipstick on your face ..", your voice sounded dark and made Mina nervous.

"Oh .. it must be smeared .." she said and smiled shakily.

"This is not your lipstick .."

Mina's smile froze and she stared at you.

"So you're really having an affair .." you growled and she could see tears glistening in your eyes.

"What the- Y / N..No ..", Mina's voice faltered as she watched you turn around and pointed with your finger to follow you before you led her into your study.

"If you're not having an affair, what is that ..", you opened one of your desk drawers and put a white lace bra on it.

"I found it under our bed and it can't be yours .. you're not wearing white underwear .."

Mina stared at Alice's bra hanging on your finger.

"Okay, how long?", You looked at her piercingly.

"I uhm- We dont-" Mina struggled for words and clung to her cane.

"You just can't be serious .." you yelled. "All I want is your affection and while I give everything to hang out with you, you fuck someone else?"

"I'm not having an affair, Y / N ..", Mina tried to calm you down and held up a hand.

"Oh, then explain to me why I find strange underwear under our bed and why your face is such a mess .. You know, you could have at least tried to hide the whole thing ..".

"Please let me explain ..", Mina chewed her lower lip and briefly considered what to say.

"Well I know you from the directory assistance ..-"

"Ohh, phone sex..", you interrupted her and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell, no y / n ..", Mina hissed.

"It turned out that she lives in the neighborhood and then she was here on Saturday and slept here, more not .."

"More not? Are you kidding me?", You spat and ran your hair through. "You let this stranger sleep in my bed and you don't tell me about it? .."

Mina didn't know how to answer it, so she just kept silent.

"Did you have sex?" You asked as you crossed your arms and chewed your lower lip.

"She never could, she-"

"Okay, I'll ask differently ..", you pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Did you want to have sex with her?"

Mina stared at you with wide eyes. In her mind she traveled back to Saturday night when she had been lying in bed next to Alice and staring at the ceiling. She remembered it well, how disgustedt she was of herself, but all she wanted to do at the moment was bend over the innocent woman to do the dirtiest things to her. Things Alice didn't even dare to dream of. All she wanted was to hear the desperate whimpering of the women and how she shouted her name.

But Mina could never have done that, partly because her loyalty was yours and partly because Alice was far too innocent for something like that.

"Wow .." you mumbled when she didn't answer.

"And then that bitch kissed you today ...?"

"Don't call her that ..", Mina defended Alice. "And besides, I kissed her ..".

"Oh..That's even better ..." you screamed as tears ran from your eyes.

"Congratulations Wilhemina, something like that is called an affair ..".

Angrily you threw the bra at Mina before you ran past her back into the hallway. Mina followed you and watched sadly as you packed your handbag with simple things.

"I'm going to see my mother .." you explained without looking at her while you put on your jacket. "I have to think about a few things ... I have no idea how long I'll be gone ... I also have no idea if I'll ever come back ...".

That was the last thing you said before you ran out of your house and left her with all the guilt.

-----------------------

You spent three weeks with your mother. Three long weeks of thinking about everything that had happened. You loved Mina so much, and the fact that there was probably someone else almost killed you. And actually you hadn't meant to come back to her, no matter that all your things were still in her house, but you were too scared that you would then have to see how she got over you and went on with her life.

After all, it was your mother who persuaded you to go to Mina to talk to her.

And now you stood in front of the door of your house and at least from the outside it looked exactly as you had left it. You bravely raised your hand to the door to knock gently on it.

And when Mina opened the door a minute later, you couldn't help but stare at her. You thought you looked like shit, but Mina topped it all. The actually proud woman was just a pile of misery when she opened the door for you that day. The red hair curled untidily over the fabric of her pajamas as she trembled on her stick. She was obviously in pain and probably hadn't taken her pills, something you usually reminded her of. You looked carefully into her face, which seemed even paler than usual, and noticed how she squinted her eyes against the sunlight, she didn't seem to have left the house for a long time.

For a moment you both stared at each other and you felt guilt creep up inside you.

"Can I come in?" You finally asked and looked carefully into her cloudy eyes that were staring down at you. Mina nodded slowly.

"It's your home ..." she muttered before stepping out of the doorway and hobbling into the living room. Without hesitation you ran after her after the door had closed behind you. You sat down next to Mina, who was staring into the empty fireplace, on the couch and also stared at the fireplace, but your attention was focused on the photos on the mantelpiece.

"You didn't take your pills .." you mumbled and she just hummed in agreement.

"..uhm, how are you?" you tried again before carefully looking at her from the side.

"M'great .." she muttered.

"Okay.."

"And how are you?" She asked while she was still staring into the fireplace.

"I'm great too."

Mina snorted.

"So we're both liars."

You ignored her comment and got to the real reason you came.

"Okay Mina, uhm i dont know- So about this woman .. I don't know what you had or just didn't have with her ..-"

"I had nothing with her ..", she interrupted you with a growl.

"You understand that I can understand that pretty badly?", You bit your lower lip and watched as Mina shook her head.

"I think you should get to know her .." she muttered and you frowned.

"So are you still in contact with her?"

Mina shrugged her shoulders.

"You should get to know her," she repeated.

"Okay .." you raised both hands in surrender. "Tell me when and where and I'll be there ..".

"Are you coming home then?" She whispered as she finally turned away from the fireplace and her injured eyes met yours.

"I .. I don't know ..", you stammered. "Please let me get to know this woman first .."

Mina nodded just before she got up and left the living room.

"What are you doing?" You called after her, confused.

"I'll call her .. "she muttered.

Your eyes widened.

"She's not coming here now, is she?"

"No ..", Mina called from the hallway. You didn't answer and after a few seconds you heard her talking softly to someone before she came back into the living room and stood in the doorway.

"You will meet her tomorrow in the café next to the library ..", she explained.

"Tomorrow I have to work late .."

"I know .." she said. "That's why you don't meet until 6 pm .."

"Okay .." you nodded briefly and stared at her for a few seconds.

"Uhm, I actually wanted to take some clothes with me .. For three weeks I've had to wear the shit my mother still had from me .."

"It's your home..", Mina replied shortly as she again clutched her stick with both hands.

You jumped up from the sofa to run past her up the stairs. In your dressing room you quickly packed a few clothes in an old sports bag before you turned around and actually wanted to go again, but then the white bra of this woman caught your eye, which was lost in the window sill. You knew stuffing that stupid thing in your gym bag might not be a good idea, but you would do anything to break the owner of this bra, for something to do with your girlfriend.

You ran back down the stairs where Mina was waiting for you in the hallway.

"I should go now .." you muttered as she stared at you expectantly. She nodded sadly.

"Uhm..Can I hug you?" She asked quietly and looked at you carefully.

"uh..of course ..", you nodded slowly before suddenly finding yourself in her arms again. She hugged you so tight that you were afraid you would suffocate. Her red hair tickled your face and for the first time in three weeks you could inhale her lavender perfume while she clung to you like her life depended on it.

"I am so sorry ..", she whispered and you swallowed when you felt guilty again.

"I should go now .." you repeated and withdrew from her arms.

She just nodded before you stumbled to the front door.

"Uhm..Y / N ..", she called after you when you were already out the door. You turned back to her and looked at her questioningly.

"Yes?"

"Alice didn't do anything wrong, so please don't kill her tomorrow ..".

You nodded just before turning to go to your car.

Alice.

--------------

"Damn .." you cursed as you nervously stared at your watch.

18:23

You parked your car in the library parking lot and walked briskly to the café.

Your gaze wandered through the almost empty room. Two men were sitting at a table and playing chess, an old woman was sitting in a corner and drinking coffee, and then your gaze was fixed on the graceful figure of a woman who was sitting with her back turned to you. It has to be her, you thought as you stared at her hazel hair curled up on a pastel colored blouse.

You got a little nervous when you approached her from behind.

"Uhm..Alice ..?" You asked and the woman winced slightly before turning to you and staring into her friendly eyes.

"You must be Y / N .." she said with a bright smile and got up.

"Uhm..ja .." you mumbled with a frown before you sat down across from her.

"I'm sorry ..I'm late .."

"Oh its okay .." Alice waved her hand before she sat down again. "Mina told me about your work .."

"Did she?", You looked at her confused and she just hummed in agreement.

You used the next few seconds to take in the woman in front of you and understood what Mina had meant. Alice looked so harmless and didn't fall into the category of the horny neighbor slut at all.

You cleared your throat and pointed with your index finger at the cup in front of you.

"What's this?"

"Tea," Alice said curtly. "She told me that you drink tea .."

The furrow on your forehead only got a little deeper as you pulled your eyebrows together a little further.

"She seems to have told you a lot about me .."

"I also know that you play the piano .." Alice replied, sounding kind of proud.

"She had to explain the piano in our bedroom .." you growled darkly as you remembered that this woman had slept in your bed.

"Y / N, she loves you .." she said and looked at you piercingly.

"I'm not sure about this.."

"Okay .." Alice sighed before starting to tell you the whole story from her point of view. How Mina had called her directory assistance late at night, how they met by chance in the library and how she ended up at your home on Saturday evening.

You listened to her attentively without interrupting her and with everyoneSentence made you feel a little worse because everything she said made sense.

"You must know, I never kissed a woman before and- you know ..." Alice muttered, staring at the table.

"And I thought it was a sin all my life and when Mina kissed me I wasn't really happy at first. You know, I was with her on a Tuesday two weeks ago to talk to her about it and she was really sad..- "

"Did she tell you she loves you?" You interrupt her.

"She-" Alice's voice faltered. "She apologized and said she was confused .."

You stared at her in silence.

"I don't want to offend you, Y / N, but Mina feels totally misunderstood by you .. She tries to do everything right and you reject her .. As if it was her fault that she has to work so hard .. And even if she doesn't seem like anyone that gets involved with something like that, she feels totally terrible about it all .. You didn't see how she cried when I was with her that Tuesday .. "

You looked at Alice sadly when you understood what she meant.

"Damn I'm such an idiot .." you muttered, rubbing your hair.

"There's something else, Y / N .." Alice sat up straight before continuing.

"When I was with her on Tuesday, I kissed her again ..".

Her words made you freeze.

"You did what?"

"You already understand me .." Alice said, looking at each other nervously.

"Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

"I kissed her."

"Okay .." you frowned.

"She loves you .." Alice repeated, putting her hand on yours.

Tears stung your eyes.

"But she loves you too ..", you croaked as you felt warm tears running down your face. Alice reached out her hand to wipe the tears from your face.

"Maybe .." she said softly. "But you mustn't be mad at her for that, it's not her fault .. Mina and I don't have an affair or anything, she loves you too much for that .."

"And do you love her?"

Alice thought for a few seconds before answering.

"I don't know to be honest .. This is all new to me, if you get what I mean .."

You nodded slowly and thought for a moment about everything she had just told you.

"I uhm .. thanks for trying to explain everything to me .." you finally said.

The woman in front of you smiled gently before taking her hand back.

"I hope you don't hate me now or anything.."

"Oh no!" You shouted loudly. "You are really kind .."

"Thank you," Alice muttered, her eyes shining a little more.

You stared at her for another moment and you could totally understand that Mina found this little sunshine attractive.

"Uhm by the way .." you started and reached into your handbag.

"I uhm .. I brought your bra .."

You put the bra on the table and pushed it over to the woman.

"Thank you .." Alice mumbled embarrassed and blushed, which made you grin.

She was really cute.

And that was your first "date" with Alice. Although one would call this educational talk less than a date. That same evening you drove back home and by home you meant Mina and not your mother's house.

The following months were more than overwhelming for you, Mina and Alice. Mina and you both applied for less working time at your work, which you also received and you had more time for each other.

That wasn't what overwhelmed you so much, the problem was, that it was pretty difficult for all 3 of you to come to terms with how you felt about each other.

After all, Mina got along best with it because she was the one of you who had been confronted with it the longest.

For her sake you accepted her love for Alice and began to meet the brunette more often and at some point you had to find out that you too were hopelessly in love with Alice.

Alice struggled with it though. The mere fact that she was in love with one woman scared her and then there were two. It was pretty hard for her to put aside all of her lesbian advantages and what her church said about you. Fortunately, Alice's children had different opinions and were glad that their mother was happy again after the divorce.

You and Mina were a little afraid of Alice's extended family, but they had all been nice to you and there was almost nothing better for you than to take care of Alice's grandchildren.

It took a while, but finally Alice also managed to get rid of her inhibitions and give herself completely to you.

And sometimes when you wake up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head to your chest and you were wondering how all this was even possible, you were probably the happiest person on earth at the same time.

And all you needed for that was the little sunshine in your arms while the red hair of your beautiful protector tickled your face.

#wilhemina venable x reader #alice macray x reader #wilhemina venable x reader x alice macray #wilhemina venable imagine #sarah paulson x reader #alice macray imagine

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hillariat · 3 years

Text

Bubbline fic finished!

Posted the final chapter of my Bubbline fic, check it out!

Also huge thanks to @hehe-food for beta-ing both the 3 and the final chapter

Unexpected

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 5,770

Tags: Fluff, emotionally confused PB.

Summary: Marceline confesses to her long time friend Bonnie. It takes an unexpected turn and, just as things were back to normal, takes another one.

AKA It's Bonnie's gay awakening.

Read it on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30298620/chapters/74678148 OR down below

The hurried pat-pat of Bonnie’s footsteps echoed through the hallways. Her legs, exhausted from a student council meeting that dragged on for far too long, begged her to slow down by at least 30%. She ignored them. She really didn’t want to keep Marceline waiting any longer than she had to after all.

When Bonnie reached the music room, she heard a familiar tune being played. Smiling to herself, she pushed the door open and saw Marceline perched upon a table and chair in a seat-footstool combo, strumming on her bass guitar. The raven-haired girl turned to Bonnie and smirked.

"’Sup Brainlord, how’s the prep meet?"

“Terrible, Becky wouldn’t shut up about adding more “tasteful” food to the school breakfast program even though that’s clearly out of our budget. It literally took us over half an hour just to move on to another topic.” Bonnie sighed and continued. “If she wasn’t so high up the pecking order, I’d have kicked her out. Personally.”

Marceline nudged her shoulder.

“I could do it for you”

“And be expelled? No thanks. As much as I hate Becky, I don’t think you leaving is worth it.”

Her heart lurched, practically begging to be freed from her chest. She opted to shrug it off, instead turning away from Bonnie to start packing her bass.

“Maybe I could do a prank instead. Y’know something that says, ‘fuck off from student council or else.’”

Bonnie raised her brows.

“Oh, and what would this prank be?”

By the time the girls left the school building, several rotten sandwiches and a passive aggressively typed note were left in Becky’s locker.

__________________________________________________________

"Thanks again for waiting up for me."

Bonnie entered the front passenger seat of Marceline’s car, inhaling the familiar scent of leather, strawberry and wood that probably came from an acoustic instrument lying around somewhere.

“Dude not this again. I told you, you don’t have to thank me every time I wait up for you. It’s like, our thing to hang out on Tuesdays anyways.”

Bonnie buckled in her own seatbelt whilst Marceline started the engine.

“Still, I appreciate the gesture. Not everyone would wait 2 hours just to have afternoon tea with their friend.”

Marceline felt a blush threaten to reveal itself on her cheeks. She really needed to get those butterflies in her ribs under control. She raised her hand, the other hand focused on driving out of the parking lot. “No. Stop with the sap. You’re turning me into a marshmallow.”

“You’re already a marshmallow, Marshmaline”

She gave a playful whack, accompanied by a glare. “Shut up! I am not a marshmallow, I’m too punk rock!”

Bonnie rolled her eyes, unfazed by the other’s glare. They had long lost their terrorizing effect on her. “Sure you are. Oh! That reminds me”

She dug through her bag, fishing out a pack of guitar strings and handing it to Marceline. “Gauge 9 right?”

“Wha- Bon. You didn’t have to.”

Bonnie waved her hand dismissively. “Nonsense. I distinctly remember a certain someone complaining about forgetting to buy them for 4th week in a row yesterday.” She turned away from Marceline, opting to look at the passing traffic. “and… well, I just happen to pass by the music store when I was at the mall with Lady yesterday.”

Marceline gave her a heartwarming smile.

“Aww, thanks mom”

Bonnie huffed.

“What would you do without me?”

Marceline snorted, smile still evident on her face.

“Forgetting them for another week probably.”

Bonnie chuckled.

“Damn right”

__________________________________________________________

The girls reached their destination, a quaint little café tucked in a quiet neighborhood near their school. Marceline introduced it to Bonnie a while ago, insisting that the red velvet cakes were “to die for”. Bonnie wouldn’t put it the same way, but she did admit that the food was “more than acceptable”. The place quickly became their favorite hangout spot, next to the diner ran by their friend’s ( Finn’s) parents. Though that diner was more of a clique hangout spot. This was more of a 'just them' spot.

They ordered their drinks, an apple pie to share and of course, a slice of red velvet cake for Marceline. They sat at their table, indulging in said items whilst making idle conversation, ranging from the food to Marceline’s music to school gossip.

Bonnie noticed how her shoulders were a little tense, how she would pick and flick her own fingers and how her eyes wandered in a way that said her thoughts weren’t entirely focused on the present. Marceline was clearly bothered by something.

The Bonnie of 5 years ago would’ve pried her incessantly, but now she knew better. Marceline was the kind of person that needed space to figure things out. She would tell Bonnie what was eating at her when she was good and ready. Any prying on Bonnie’s end would lead to scathing remarks and, if allowed to escalate, a fight. Hence, despite the well-meaning itch that urged her to figure out what was bothering her best friend, Bonnie didn’t ask. Respecting Marceline’s boundaries was more important.

When Marceline’s giggling fit died down after a joke about a certain lemon-faced principal , she took a deep breath. She warily made eye contact with Bonnie.

“I need to tell you something. Its -It’s important”

“Okay”. Bonnie nodded and kept her eyes at Marceline expectantly, conveying that Marceline had her full undivided attention. A long, pregnant pause ensued. Bonnie was tempted to break the silence, but Marceline got there first.

“I’m gay.”

Okay. That wasn’t what Bonnie expected. Not that there was anything wrong with being gay, no not at all. Bonnie was just very unfamiliar with coming-out-of-the-closet etiquette. After all, most of her friends were straight.

She was clearly out of her element here. How should she respond to this? Did Marceline want a boisterous congratulation? Or a simple acceptance? In the end, Bonnie did what she always did when she was uncertain about things.

“Okay, what am I supposed to do with that information?”

Marceline raised her brows in surprise. She was expecting more of a reaction to that. Bonnie had just…. rolled with it. Maybe her fears were indeed unfounded. Maybe. It was still too early to tell.

Marceline took a deep breath, gathering what little courage it could provide and continued.

“I’m gay for you. As in, I like you. Like, like-like you.”

For a moment, Bonnie was tempted to make fun of Marceline’s unironic use of “like-like” but knew better than to do that. Instead, she was contemplating her response to it. She knew exactly what she should say, she knew her answer to that obvious unsaid question, but the vulnerable expression on Marceline��s face made her hesitate. Marceline looked so fragile, as if a gentle breeze could shatter her. The only other time Bonnie saw the other like this was when Marceline’s mother had passed.

Bonnie furrowed her brows, bit her bottom lip, and took a deep breath. It was definitely going to hurt, but she was good at making tough decisions for the people she cared about.

“I … don’t feel the same way. I’ve only ever seen you as a friend. I’m sorry Marceline.”

She could see Marceline shattering right in front of her. The girl’s shoulders slumped, a frown formed on her face and, most troubling of all; the light in the girl’s eyes dimmed. For a moment Bonnie wanted to take her words back, to make Marceline beam instead with an acceptance. But she knew from experience that giving false hope was worse than a flat-out rejection, so she kept her mouth shut.

In a flash, Marceline’s demeanor switched. She had a smile plastered on her face and her posture likewise improved. Perhaps it was a prepared response, as if she already knew this was the probable outcome. Though her newfound demeanor couldn’t quite reach her eyes.

“It’s cool. It’s cool.”

She paused as if unsure as to whether she should utter the next line. She opened her mouth, her voice wavered before she could even muster the first word.

“We can still be friends, right?” Accompanied with, again, a vulnerable expression. But this time it came from a girl who was already kicked down.

“Of course.” and Marceline wasn’t the only one who wanted to believe that.

They fell into silence, neither girl looking at each other anymore. There were no more words to be said on the matter. Bonnie glanced at the clock in the café. Time ticked by slowly, as if a second was enough time to write an entire thesis.

She searched for a change of topic, not wanting the silence to stretch into awkward territory. Her eyes wandered the surroundings and found it on their table. She gestured to the item.

“Are you going to finish that cake?” Bonnie’s fork was already threateningly hovering above the slice of cake.

Marceline smirked and hoped she didn’t misread Bonnie’s seemingly playful tone.

“I swear, one day you’re gonna get diabetes Bon. You’re such a sugar slut.”

Bonnie completely ignored her friend’s warning and grabbed the last bit of cake, eating it with a slight smile on her face.

“And you – She pointed to Marceline with her empty fork- are distasteful.”

Marceline laughed at that, the tension now fully leaving her. Bonnie could say the same, though she was just smiling at her friend.

Things were going to be okay.

Chapter 2: Confusion

The coffee cup made a clack as it landed on the table.

“Figured you’d want this.” Marceline flashed a toothy grin, though this one was softer than the usual mischievous one. Still, it was one Bonnie was well acquainted with.

Her stomach squirmed. She blinked. Odd. She didn’t remember having shellfish the night before.

“Uhhm, thanks.” She didn’t know why she fumbled. Marceline always got her coffee for their afternoon study sessions. She took a sip. Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot and drizzle, just the way she liked it, though for some reason, today it tasted a little sweeter.

Marceline plotted herself next to Bonnie and started rummaging through her bag. “So, what’s on the agenda today Bonbon?”

Bonnie scribbled in her notebook, having already started on her work. “Maths. We have 2 assignments due soon so I figured we should start.”

Marceline nodded and got her stuff out. For a good half hour, the only sounds that came from their table were the scrawls of pens, the clicking of calculators, turning of pages and occasionally, some curse words muttered under Marceline’s breath. Eventually though, the relative silence was broken.

“Hey, what’d you get for 3c?”

“69.3”

Bonnie saw a toothy grin appear on Marceline’s face. She frowned and shot a glare in return. That girl better not do wh –

“Thirst much, Bonnibel?”

She groaned. “Really Marceline? Get your head out of the gutter.”

Marceline shrugged. “Hey, I’m not the one writing innuendos as answers.”

“Not my fault the teacher likes putting innuendos as answers”.

Marceline chuckled, then she glanced over to Bonnie’s notebook. “Anyways, how’d you get that number?” She leaned over to get a closer look at Bonnie’s homework, now just close enough for Bonnie to smell what shampoo the other used. It was strawberry. Bonnie took note of Marceline’s face, how her brows scrunched in concentration, how her green eyes always held a beautiful shade of green, how her raven hair cascaded down her face, framing her sharp jawline and how her lips pouted at a formula she obviously didn’t understand. Bonnie wondered if those lips felt soft. Wait, what?

“Earth to Bonnie? You there? Hello?” Marceline waved her hand in front of her face.

“Huh? Oh. Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said what’s the deal with this guy? -She gestured to some convoluted looking math term- How did it get to this?”

“Oh, well..” Bonnie went on to explain how she derived the expression, going through it step by step as she usually did, pushing away any strange thoughts of the girl next to her. They were just a fluke after all. Nothing more than spontaneous curiosity.

__________________________________________________________

It happened again a couple of days later. Marceline was casually humming along to a punk rock song in her car with Bonnie seated next to her, quietly scrolling through her phone. The song was crass, mocking, harsh even, filled with edginess that stereotyped the genre. But somehow when the same song came from Marceline’s vocal cords, hummed in a low tone, it sounded so much more…beautiful. Smooth. Gentle. It felt like a cloud was encompassing her, warm and welcoming.

Bonnie felt her insides turn to jello. Strange how she never noticed Marceline's voice having this effect.

She frowned. Something was up. Lightning never struck twice in the same place after all.

“You got your thinking face on Bonnie. What’s up?”

“Oh. Nothing, I was just zoning out”

Marceline smirked, “Lemme guess, thinking of another experiment? Or wait, OH. Trying to answer one of the greatest mysteries of life.”

Bonnie glanced at her lap. Her hands were fiddling with loose jean threads. “You could say that.”

__________________________________________________________

The rest of the week, and the next, followed the same pattern. Bonnie and Marceline would hang out and Marceline would do something utterly mundane and Bonnie would find herself getting the squirmies. Her insides would twist and turn in all sorts of funny ways and she would find her cheeks embarrassingly warm.

She found herself lying down on her own bed, gazing at the ceiling with a half bolster clutched in her arms and contemplating the confusing experiences of the previous weeks. This was the 5th night in a row she had done this.

She has had both male and female suitors confessing to her before, though none of them were as close to her as Marceline was. However, she never gave them more than a second’s worth of thought as she preferred to utilize her brain’s resources on more important things. Chiefly; her schoolwork, independent science projects and her student council duties.

She blinked. Once. Twice.

Could she…like Marceline?

She frowned; brows scrunched and lips upturned in confusion.

She had never experienced a crush on a girl before. What she had told Marceline was nothing but honest, she genuinely had never seen the other girl in a light that wasn’t platonic. Marceline was indeed only a dear friend to her. Nothing had changed between them, so why did her insides turn to mush when Marceline did something as mundane as laugh at her own joke or open a door for her. It didn’t make any sense.

Bonnie’s clock read 02:14am and she figured she should get some sleep before school. With heavy lidded eyes, Bonnie concluded that she should do what she always did when she was uncertain about things.

__________________________________________________________

Bonnie found her in the music room, as usual. She was alone. Good. She swallowed the lump in her throat, and gripped her bag strap tightly. She didn’t know why she was the one who felt terrified, after all she was the one planning on basically cornering Marceline with a potentially awkward situation. She took a deep breath and entered the room.

Marceline turned to her, ceasing the strum of her bass. She flashed a warm smile. “Hey Bon, what’s up?”

“Marceline, do you want to go on a date?” At the sight of Marceline’s confused face, she added “With me. Romantically.”

Marceline raised her brows, even more confused than before. “Dude, I thought you weren’t into me that way? You said so like 2 weeks ago.”

She was right. Bonnie only hoped that her persuasion skills were good enough. “While it is true that I've never seen you in that way before, I don’t think it’d be a bad idea to try?” She paused, not really sure how to phrase it less awkwardly. “So, let’s go on a romantic date and see how that goes.”

Marceline looked downright offended by that offer. Was there some homosexual etiquette Bonnie was missing out on?

“I don’t need a pity date.”

Oh. OH. Oh god was that it how it sounded like? Bonnie knew she had to rectify the situation and soon.

“No no. It’s not that. It’s…“ Bonnie broke eye contact with Marceline, instead favoring the ground. She wasn’t sure why she felt so flustered, maybe it was because admitting the truth was embarrassing. “I’ve been thinking about us. How I feel about you, ever since that day you confessed.” Bonnie started fiddling with her hands.

Marceline tensed. She didn’t know where this was going, but she was paranoid and listened to every echoing thought in her head that said this was going to end up bad. Crap. She thought she was out of the woods after that day in the café.

”and I know I said that I hadn’t felt anything but platonic towards you before, and that’s true. But now I’m not so sure.”

Marceline furrowed her brows. What did she just say, was she implying that – “I…I might like you romantically. Or not. I don’t know. I was hoping that going on a date would help me figure things out. Its more for me really.”

Marceline blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Bonnie had…mixed feelings for her? No, rather Bonnie wasn’t sure how she felt. Marceline released a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding until now. It wasn’t an ideal outcome, but it was certainly not the worst that could have come from her confession to the redhead.

Taking Marceline’s prolonged silence as a no, Bonnie continued. “I’m sorry. It was selfish of me to even suggest that considering everything you’ve been through. Just forge-“

Marceline raised her hand to stop her babbling. “I get it. Figuring out your sexuality is hard and you’re not exactly swimming in gay friends. I'm down for it. But you have to promise me this.” She looked straight into Bonnie’s eyes, holding down probably the most serious stare she could muster. “The moment you figure out your feelings for me, you have to tell me. Even if it hurts me. Its just-I just need to know as soon as possible.” Her voice wavered. “Please.”

Bonnie nodded, understanding the gravity of this.

Marceline let out a huge breath, visibly relaxing. She smiled.

“Alright. You free Friday night?”

Bonnie smiled back at her. “Yeah, pick me up at 7?”

Chapter 3: Consolidation

Bonnie didn’t think she would be one of those girls. The ones that would empty their entire closet and prance around their clothing littered room wondering why nothing there was good enough for their date. But here she was doing exactly just that.

It was just Marceline after all. They’ve hung out a billion times before.

Except it wasn’t just Marceline was it?

Bonnie groaned; this was infuriating. She dug through another pile of clothes on her bed, burying herself in thoughts of what to wear instead of trying to unpack the queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

In the end, she settled for a white sundress. Well, “settle” was a stretch considering she was going to change again if she hadn’t been interrupted by a ring from the front door. She rushed out of her bedroom, hurriedly making her way down wooden stairs with a tap-tap from her feet.

“Is that Marceline?” Her mother called out from a distant room. Knowing her it was probably the living room. Bonnie did get her love of sappy cable TV rom-coms from her after all.

“Yeah, I got it! I’ll be back by midnight.” Bonnie replied. “Alright, text me if your plans change.” After a brief moment of silence, she added, “Oh, and keep yourselves out of trouble okay! I do not want to hear a peep about either of you from the cops again!”

Bonnie giggled, reminiscing that exact event from 6 months ago.

“Oh. Wow.” Bonnie’s gaze was fixated on the sunset, a bleary mix of reds, oranges and yellows fading into dark blues that casted a looming shadow, outlining the town center. Bonnie and Marceline were on top of a ruined four story building without a roof which was nestled on top of a steep hill, giving them a brilliant vantage point that overlooked the entire t-

“Right.” Marceline flashed a cocky smirk. “Told you this place had the best view.” And she wasn’t wrong.

Bonnie scoffed. “Well sorry I thought otherwise when you dragged me through a forest, a chain link fence and an abandoned construction site.”

Marceline snorted. “What did you think I was gonna do?”

“Kill me and the hide the body?”

“Pfft, if I did that, whose homework would I copy of off?”

“Uh,” She tapped her chin, actually giving the question some thought. “Finn’s?”

Marceline looked at her with bewilderment, one eyebrow quirked above the other. “Dude, you know the whole point of copying off someone else is to pass, not fail.” Bonnie huffed, “Okay, fair point. But – "

“Hey, what are you two doing here?! Get down now!”

They snapped their heads to the source of the yelling. Down on the ground floor stood a middle-aged security guard, practically steaming with red-hot fury. Both girls looked at each other, conveying some unsaid message to each other, seemingly in agreement.

Then they ran.

After hopping through several cinder blocks and steel beams sprinkled with a few swears and complaints about thinking the place was abandoned, they got to a chain-linked fence. Knowing that they were pressed for time with the security guard hot on their tail, they opted to try to squeeze through a tiny gap on the bottom of the fence instead of climbing over it as they did before.

Bonnie crawled through just fine, merely getting some scuffs and dirt marks on her pullover. Marceline on the other hand got stuck, her “fashionable” ripped tank top getting caught on stray fence wiring. Both girls rushed to untangle Marceline, but with the stomp-stomp of booted footsteps coming ever closer to them, Marceline pulled Bonnie’s hands away from herself.

“Bon. I’m fine, just.. go ahead without me”

“But- “ Marceline pushed her away, stopping any argument Bonnie would give out.

“Go! I’ll text you when I’m home.” Bonnie stared at her for a moment in concern. Her eyes darted back and forth between her friend and the direction of the encroaching footsteps. Then she blurted,

“Shut the fuck up” and scrambled to get her friend out.

They both got caught.

After a phone call, a drive and long drawn-out conversation between Bonnie's mom and the police, both girls found themselves on the receiving end of a stern mother's gaze whilst seated on Bonnie's couch.

"Explain."

Before Bonnie could get a word out, Marceline started. "It was my idea Mrs. Butler, I dragged Bonnie to the construction site up at the hill near the end of town. I wanted to show her the sunset from up there.”

"The abandoned one?"

Marceline gave a sheepish smile "Well it turns out it wasn’t so abandoned after all".

Mrs. Butler wasn’t so amused. “Uh-huh.” She glanced at Bonnie, who was squirming in her seat from nervousness. "Bonnie, I know it wasn’t your plan but you still tagged along. You’re grounded for a week. That also means no access to the garage lab."

Bonnie groaned but didn’t feel the need to protest that decision. It was fairly light considering they did get the police involved.

Her mom turned to Marceline. "And Marceline. It’s late so you can stay over, but in the morning, I am going to have a talk with your father, got it?"

"Yes ma'am."

“Good, now I’m going to head to bed, it's late. Bonnie, be a dear and help set up the couch for Marceline” With that, Mrs. Butler went to her bedroom. Bonnie and Marceline started setting up the couch in silence, bringing out blankets and extra pillows from a nearby closet. Marceline wondered if this would be a good time to say what was on her mind, but was interrupted by Bonnie asking her to grab the duvet. When she dragged the duvet to the couch, Bonnie noticed her stumble a little. And then again. She was limping.

“Marceline, your leg!”

“Huh?” Marceline glanced down, seeing a small trail of blood running from her knees. Her very battered and cut knees. “Oh shit”

Bonnie immediately pushed Marceline to sit down on the couch, then ran off into the kitchen muttering something about alcohol. She then came back with a small first aid kit and began treating Marceline’s wounds. Marceline figured this was as good of a time as any.

“Sorry I got you in trouble. I didn’t know there was security there, I checked out the whole place and didn’t even see any keep out signs.” She fiddled nervously with the duvet below her.

Bonnie flashed a warm smile. “It’s fine, just…” She glanced down at Marceline’s knee and frowned, then looked up and made eye contact with her. “Be more careful next time?”

Marceline gave a reassuring smile.

“I will.”

Ding-ding-ding-ding! God, Marceline was one hell of an impatient girl. Bonnie rushed to open the door, silently cursing herself for zoning out for so long.

Marceline was clad in a red-black plaid flannel paired with a dark grey top and ripped black jeans. 'Classic Marceline,' thought Bonnie. Though in the raven-haired girl’s words it would’ve been classic gay, whatever that meant.

Marceline started, “Hey.” She flashed a gentle, earnest smile. She can do this. She’s good at playing cool. She’s the coolest person in school. Totally cool. Absolutely not having a heart attack right now.

“Hey.”

“You look great tonight.”

Bonnie smiled, soft and sweet. “Thanks, you look nice too.” She gestured to the other.

Marceline snorted. “Pfft, this is my normal outfit, what are you talking about?”

She smirked. Oh, it was all too easy to tease Marceline. “Maybe I think you look nice normally.”

Marceline spluttered into some incoherent murmurs. Her cheeks flushed crimson red and she scrambled to look at anywhere except Bonnie. Bonnie found it amusing.

She noticed that the raven-haired girl had her hands tucked behind her back, as if hiding an object from her view. Before she could ask though, Marceline beat her to it, having recovered from her gay panic.

“I, uhh, got you flowers.” She presented a bouquet of soft pink and white roses.

"Flowers?"

Marceline averted her gaze, instead staring at the small scuff marks on her shoes."Yeah. Figured I'd, uhmm....give you the full date experience." But the flustered cheeks and wavering voice said there was more to it than that.

Bonnie felt a heavy pang strike through her chest. She didn’t say anything about it though, figuring that it was a little too late to back out now. "Thanks."

She took the flowers into the kitchen and quickly deposited them into an empty vase. Then she rushed back out and hopped into Marceline’s car and they drove off. She turned to Marceline. “So, where are we going?”

Marceline smirked. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“At least tell me if it's legal. I promised my mom I wouldn’t get in trouble with the cops tonight.” She crossed her arms and pouted. Marceline thought it was adorable and wondered if she should comment. She didn’t.

Instead, she let out a cackle. “Nah it's totally legal. Don’t worry about it.”

They continued the drive in relatively peaceful silence, with only the radio to fill in the space. Bonnie’s gaze fell to her lap, where she fiddled with the hem of her dress. This was it. She was going on a date. With her best friend. Marceline was her date. Huh. Sounds weird.

Chapter 4: Conclusion

Bonnie glanced at the building, eyes widening at the familiar sight of the local science museum. "I thought you didn’t like science?"

Marceline shrugged, "I don’t. But I'm down for learning about the things you like.” She flashed a gentle smile and Bonnie's insides went into a tumbling frenzy of butterflies and thrumming heartbeats. “Now c’mon, this place closes at 9!"

Before her insides could murder her further, she found herself being dragged to the building, hands intertwined and all. Bonnie couldn’t bring herself to complain.

They grabbed their tickets from the ticketing booth and then trailed through the museum, weaving through various exhibits from electrochemistry to evolution to tectonic plates. They stopped by an anatomy exhibit; Bonnie having decided that the musculoskeletal system was an absolute must-see.

“Oooooh, the knee joint!”

Marceline quirked her brows, “What makes this one so special?”

"Well, it is the largest joint in our body, and y’know, THE joint that enables us to walk.”

“Yeah, but isn’t it like, weak? I always hear about people having busted knees or something.”

“That is true. That’s mostly because it does endure a lot of force when we’re using it, about one and a half times our body weight when walking and eight times when squatting.” Bonnie paused for a moment. ”Oh! And it’s also susceptible to numerous pathological conditions like arthritis”

Marceline hummed absentmindedly, then said, “Heh, y’know, you’re just like osteoarthritis” -she turned to her and flashed a toothy grin-” ’Cause you make my knees weak.”

Bonnie stared at her as if she grew another head. A pause ensued, just as awkward and confused as Bonnie’s expression. It went on for a bit, what with Marceline having no clue how to handle it and Bonnie trying to piece together what in the world just happened. She eventually broke the silence with a snort and a smile.

"Well," She moved closer to the other, interlinking their arms together. "You’re like a cation because you’re positively attractive.”

Marceline doubled down, practically filling the museum with cackles. Her cheeks were tinted red, though whether that was from being flustered or from the strain of laughter Bonnie couldn’t tell.

“Omg Bonnie that’s…” She took a breath in an attempt to get her chuckles to die down. ”That’s so you.” Another fit of laughter hit her.

Bonnie floundered, muttering a brief string of indecipherable words and turning away from Marceline in a vain attempt to hide her beet-red face.

“Hey, hey, c’mon. I didn’t say it was bad. It's….” Marceline rubbed her neck, eyes purposely averting Bonnie’s gaze. “It’s actually really cute.” She flashed a tentative smile. Her cheeks mirrored Bonnie’s.

Bonnie pouted, “Geez, you really can’t take a compliment, can you?”

“Welp, sorry, my parents are as emotionally constipated as I am.”

Bonnie chuckled, then tugged the other along to another exhibit.

They wandered through the exhibits one by one, with Bonnie rambling on about the four ventricles of the heart and some Newtonian mechanics and Marceline occasionally quipping in with a flirt or a joke (usually a pun).

“You wanna go watch a movie? I heard they’re premiering the remake of the Thing at the old theatre downtown” Marceline asked. They had finished a full round at the Museum, just in the nick of time as an announcement declared that the museum was closing. Now they were making their way to the carpark.

Bonnie was a little surprised that Marceline would have heard of the Thing. She didn’t seem like someone who would keep up with Sci-fi remakes, then again, the Thing was also a horror, that could explain it.

Bonnie shrugged. “Sure, sounds good.” She glanced down at their still intertwined hands. It was all still surreal to her. She really was on a date. With Marceline.

“Bon? You okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Just…uhh, zoning out. Yep. Heh.” She really, really wished she was better at lying. Marceline raised her brows but didn’t comment any further, to Bonnie’s relief.

__________________________________________________________

They wound up seated in a small theatre, with Marceline sipping on her soda and Bonnie occasionally munching on popcorn. Bonnie glanced at Marceline, wondering if she should be doing something at this moment. Their arms were still interlinked, still a fairly platonic gesture. She wondered if she should push it, cross the platonic boundary a little bit more. After all Marceline clearly had with her incessant flirting. She supposed she should reciprocate by initiating something too.

And so, cautiously, Bonnie leaned in, slowly placing her head on the crook of Marceline's shoulder. Marceline tensed for a moment, and for that moment Bonnie wondered if she should retreat. But then Marceline relaxed and leaned in.

Cuddling wasn't something the girls ever did together in their friendship. Physical affection, whilst there with casual hand-holding, a hug here and there and such, was always kept at a respectable distance. This was new and if the butterflies in Bonnie’s stomach were anything to go by, it was a good kind of new.

Maybe dating wasn’t so weird after all.

__________________________________________________________

Marceline brought Bonnie to her doorstep in silence. Not the comfortable kind that they often shared. No, this was tense, heavy, as though there was a huge anvil weighing them down. Both of them clearly knew why, it was the end of their date after all. Neither of them really wanted to start, but, feeling obligated because this was her idea, Bonnie did.

"As cliche as it sounds, I really had a good time tonight." After a short pause, she added, "I'd like to do it again sometime."

Marceline’s brows shot up into her hairline. "Wait does this mean -"

“Ehp!” She croaked. Despite knowing what Marceline's reaction would be, Bonnie still found a lump rising in her throat. She took a breath and tried again.

“Yeah.” Bonnie smiled tentatively.

Marceline’s face went through various stages of metamorphosis, from confusion to disbelief to being completely flustered red. It finally settled on a dumbfounded smile with rose-tinted cheeks.

“That’s, wow.”

Bonnie giggled and crossed her arms. She just couldn’t resist the opportunity presented. “Really? You got your crush to like you back and all you can say is ‘wow’. Real smooth Marceline.”

“Sh-shut up!”

Bonnie could practically hear the pout from her. She snickered and Marceline desperately scrambled for a change in topic. She found one and smirked.

"Does this mean I can kiss you? Coz you were so obvious with the staring just now"

Bonnie scoffed. “We both know I wasn’t staring, nice try though. As for the other thing,” She averted her gaze and gave a non-committal shrug. “Maybe on the second date, or the third”

Marceline grinned. “Ooooh, there’s gonna be a third date now?”

“Only if you behave.” She deadpanned.

Marceline cackled, her voice echoing throughout the silent neighborhood. Soon enough, Bonnie couldn’t help but join and now in between the quiet of suburbia were the giggles of two girls.

They kissed on the second date.

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