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nataliasquote · 19 days

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Is It All For Nothing? | n romanoff

Summary: You just want a friend. Is that so bad? How is it fair that everyone else gets one but you. What did you do that was so wrong?

Warnings: idk. just depressing stuff ig

Pairings: none. a small bit of Nat x reader but all platonic

wc: 1.3k

notes: I wrote this in 45 mins in one sitting. It’s written in a different pov than usual and idk if it even makes sense. I just typed and didn’t stop until I was done 🤷‍♀️ the idea just came to me and yeah :)

-⧗-

Frankly, being on the sidelines sucked. Everyone knew it yet no matter how many times someone engaged in small talk to be polite or proclaimed they were there to talk to everyone, somehow you were always left out.

It didn’t matter where you were, loneliness followed like a dormant disease. High school sucked, you were a nobody, but thankfully those years were in the past. But your fifteen year old self didn’t realise that your isolation would carry right on over into your adult life.

And sure, it wasn’t all bad. The nights spent chatting with new friends you’d made that day left you on an all time high, but that just made the fall that much harder. And when the low inevitably came, you could only laugh at yourself at your naivety, because why would things suddenly change? You weren’t someone people stuck around for.

Unfortunately, Shield agents were no different. Those in your cohort were nice enough to say hi in the hallway or invite you into group conversations. A couple even chatted with you over lunch. But you knew they only did it because they felt bad. You saw the difference in their demeanor; you were a spy for god’s sake. They were so much happier with their friends, and that didn’t include you, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself it did.

There was one agent who’s attention toyed with you that little bit more. Natasha Romanoff was a couple of ranks higher, both in social and training status. But she was always kind, no matter what. You conversed whilst waiting for your training session, mainly her listening as you talked. She was sweet, despite her intimidating facade and before long she had you completely wrapped around your little finger.

For a month, you both chatted any chance you got. If you saw her in the cafeteria, you’d make a beeline for her table, smiling at the other agents as you sat down. She responded to you, her eyes holding yours as you spoke, seeming actually interested in what you had to say. She would joke with you, calling you out with a laugh which sent a flush to your cheeks. You didn’t care what she said, she was talking to you. That’s all that mattered. Maybe this was where your life changed for the better. Evenings that followed those days would be blissful and you would fall asleep with a smile on your face, feeling on top of the world all because of the redheaded Russian.

However, as the weeks went on, days would go by with no contact. At first you just thought she was going on more missions; that was her job after all. But then you’d see that flash of red hair in a meeting room or one of the agents talking about something Natasha had said earlier and it hit you sharply in the throat.

Was she just like everyone else? Playing the pity card, building you up only to leave you hanging once she got bored? Natasha didn’t seem like that kind of person, but had essentially placed her on a pedestal, so of course she could do no wrong. That was your downfall.

Emerging from a debrief with Maria Hill, you tucked a stack of files under your arm and stepped out into the hallway. And there she was, a soft smile on her lips. You reciprocated it and made eye contact, opening your mouth to speak. You hadn't spoken in a few days and you hated to admit it, but you missed her.

But Natasha clearly didn’t feel the same. Her eyes caught yours and then darted to the floor, her feet picking up the pace as she walked past. “I’m sorry Y/n, I’m busy today. We’ll talk later.”

Except she wasn’t busy. Because there she was, standing at the end of the hall laughing with another agent in your cohort. It shouldn’t have been, but it was like a punch to the stomach and you quickly turned around, retreating back into the room you’d left to avoid her seeing you watching her.

You knew that agent. They were friends, everyone saw it. And she was nice enough to you too, but jealousy coursed through your veins and turned you into a green eyed monster.

What did she have that you didn’t? Besides the ability to win Natasha over, obviously. Every single interaction you’d had with the redhead suddenly started replaying in your mind, frantically scanning to see what went wrong. Did you overstep? Were you too pushy? Too clingy? You just wanted a friend, was that so hard to understand? Was it so bad to want?

You thought about texting her, but decided against it. You didn’t want to know the answer. What if your worst fears were confirmed? That she only spoke to you out of pity, and quite frankly didn’t want anything to do with you.

It hurt. It really did. Countless times you wished that she was the one that would change your bad history of making friends. Because when you were around Natasha, nothing else mattered. The days of no contact slipped out of your mind. You’d forgive her for anything in a heartbeat… maybe that was the problem.

You thought the world of her. And she saw that. ‘Never meet your heroes’ that’s what they say, isn’t it? And maybe she wasn’t quite at hero status for you, but you looked up to her. Praising her work when she returned from a successful mission, commenting on the ingenious moves she made to lead her team to victory. She was everything you wanted to be as an agent, with one seriously important factor.

Everyone loved her.

Everyone loved her, and nobody knew you. She was the prize rose and you were behind, stuck in her shadow. They didn’t see you as anyone but the agent who sucked up to Natasha. They didn’t see how hard you worked, how many hours you trained, how much effort you put in. And they never would. Because it was too much. You were a try hard.

A try hard in a room full of effortless people.

Effortless just like that other agent was. She’d been rumoured to move up into Natasha’s ranks and onto her mission team, leaving you struggling in the lower levels. It felt almost childish, yearning after the attention of one single person. But no matter how hard you tried, or how casual you tried to be, Natasha would never see you as anything other than a fan girl.

You knew she was capable of giving you what you desired, you saw it with that other agent. The way they laughed together, developed inside jokes and anecdotal phrases that they brought up in group discussions. You saw the way Natasha’s eyes lit up at the mention of her name, how she gushed over her but also teased her at the same time. Their effortless banter had you choking back tears as you sat one table over, watching with blurry eyes.

You wanted that so badly it hurt.

But if you stopped trying, stopped reaching out, stopped lusting after the perfect friendship you so badly craved with her, would she notice? Or would you fade into the background, silently, without a word. Maybe she would be happy, now that you’re no longer bugging her.

Maybe it’s for the best.

#natasha romanoff #marvel #fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff imagine #friendship angst #marvel angst #black widow #natasha romanoff fanfic #scarlett johansson

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masivechaos · 8 months

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vigilante shit!

── ☆ regulus black x fem! reader

── ☆ Request: yes / no

── ☆ Synopsis: it's the first time you meet James after he cheated on you, but Regulus is by your side and you're not against making your ex a little mad.

── ☆ Warning/content: celebrity au, mention of cheating (reader been cheated on in the past), swearing, idk anything about how award shows are organized so bear with me please, idk if i like this or no but err, my English

── ☆ a.n.: 1.8k words-

masterlist/ marauders masterlist / navigation / taglist

Your eyes travelled the room, mouth in a thin line with the most neutral expression on your face, Regulus’ arm around your waist, flashes of cameras illuminating your make-up-covered skin. It was your first apparition in public with Regulus as your new boyfriend. Well- people knew about it, thank the paparazzi for this, but for the first time, it was official, it was your choice.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say this news broke the internet. You were known to be James Potter’s wife, the lead singer of the Marauders, and your break up was sudden, nobody saw it coming.

James Potter was famous for being adorable and so so respectful. Hence your surprise when you found out he cheated. You couldn’t describe how disappointed and betrayed you felt. You genuinely thought he was a good man, but maybe celebrities were celebrities. You hope it was false because you didn’t want Regulus to fool you as James did.

But you didn’t have to worry for the moment, today was a prize award show and you were nominated in the “single of the year” category and Regulus in the “album of the year” category. You wanted both of you to win, and eventually for the Marauders not to win the album of the year prize. First, for yourself and second to prove to James what he had just lost. It was all ego and pride but you didn’t care.

── ☆

Finally sat at your table, you looked around and without meaning to, your eyes fell on the Marauders’ table, so on James obviously. You couldn’t help but notice no one was seated by his side, guess his secret girlfriend wasn’t that good. You rolled your eyes before turning your body to face Regulus sat next to you “You good?” he whispered as he let his thumb slide over your knuckles before pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

“Yeah,” you murmured. You weren’t going to let your stupid ex ruin your night.

Soon the night hosts were on stage and you could escape your thoughts by listening to them but it turned out you were zoning out the entire time, your brain only focusing on what you were going to read in the news tomorrow about how it was the first time you and James were reunited after your sudden break up.

Regulus nudged your shoulder, tearing you out of your thoughts “You need to go, it's soon your performance,” he said as he tried to read your eyes. He knew it was hard for you to face James again, but his band mates too.

The world of celebrity is like a playground for adults. Everybody knows each other, some people whisper and others eavesdrop. The kindest ones weren’t always the most popular and you could have a hard time finding real and honest friends.

And for a long time you thought you did. You had what people would call a “perfect life” and you couldn’t be happier. You had an amazing husband, who was the lead singer of a very famous band and you were friends with the other members. What could possibly go wrong?

Journalists and friends were talking about you like your life was complete, that it was going to stay the same until the end. You believed them. You thought you knew James by heart, that you were going to live a perfect marriage.

But maybe you were blind by love, or maybe you were just oblivious but you never saw his furtive glances at his phone at night or the way he would be less present for you, always finding an excuse to go out without you.

One day you got suspicious and asked his bandmates about it but they said they didn’t know anything so you let it go, forgetting about everything. That was until one of your shows was cancelled and you got home a day earlier only to find James in bed with another. When you thought about it, all you can remember is how you cried and screamed and wanted him to disappear from your life.

With tears running down your face, you left the house to find comfort next to your best friend, Remus. He welcomed you, comforted you. You thought that you hadn’t lost everything, your friends were still here. If only it was true.

── ☆

“How could he do this to me?” you sobbed, letting your cries staining Remus’ sweater as he brushed away the strands of hair stuck to your cheeks. Remus didn’t answer anything, hugging you closer. His best friend messed up but so did he.

“Since when was this going on? When did he start to lie?” you asked, anger taking over sadness. You felt Remus tense at this. You detached yourself from him, your eyebrows furrowed “You knew about this?” you whispered, your heart clenching inside your chest.

Remus avoided your gaze, staring down at the ground, the hardwood floor being suddenly the most interesting thing of his life.

“Did you know about this, Remus?” you said through gritted teeth and he shyly nodded, ashamed of himself. You jumped out of his sofa, throwing at him the blanket he offered you for extra comfort. “Get fucked, Remus,” you spat as you left his living room.

── ☆

You got off of stage after your performance under the loud applause of the public, taking a deep breath in. You had done your best and you were satisfied with the outcome. Walking back to your table, you passed by the Marauders. After realising, you tried to increase your pace and when you thought they didn’t notice you, you felt a hand grabbing your elbow, turning around.

You closed your eyes, hoping this wasn’t happening “Y/n. Please, can we talk?” You winced as you recognized James’ voice.

With a sigh, you opened your eyes “No, we can’t. Bye,” you said as you tried to leave but he held onto your arm a little harder.

“Please,” he begged and the urge to punch him in the face became even stronger. “I- I messed up, okay?”

“Woah, took you a year and half to realise? You’re a bit slow.”

James took a deep breath, combing a nervous hand through his hair “I regret what I did, okay? I fucked up and I…,” he looked at you in the eyes, getting closer to you and your whole body tensed. “I miss you.”

You raised your eyebrows, there was something so satisfying about seeing him miserable like this. Before you could answer anything, an arm slid around your waist and you lifted your eyes to find Regulus by your side.

“Everything’s fine?” he asked as he kissed your temple before letting his lips linger on your skin.

“Yeah,” you whispered, leaning into him, seeking for the comfort of his smell and touch. James’s eyes travelled between you and Regulus as a frown appeared on his face.

“So you guys are dating, now?” You nodded, taking Regulus’s hand and giving it a light squeeze. “This is your revenge? Going out with my rival? You want to know all the awards he stole from us?”

“You know everything is not about you, James? My only revenge is that I’m finally happy and apparently you are not! Like what, Karma knows how to do her work!” You turned to leave before adding “And maybe he didn’t steal any award, maybe his music is just better than yours.”

“What now? You’re saying my music sucks?”

“No. I was maybe stupid enough to believe your sweet words, I wasn’t stupid enough to marry a guy who’s music sucks. All I’m saying is that maybe he’s not the problem, maybe you are. I also happen to appreciate more a music when it’s not made by a bunch of guys who spent months lying into my face because they are fucking cowards.”

You finally walked away, leaving behind you a very much shocked and confused James. He was being honest, he truly wanted you back. And the fact that you were dating his rival wasn’t helping make him feel better.

── ☆

When the marauders started to be known, they were immediately successful. All of them being pretty, nice and talented, the success was almost given to them. Until Regulus Black arrived. He was the marauders’ guitarist’s brother and just as handsome, if not more for you. And from there started years of rivalry, The marauders and Regulus often fighting for awards and being the number one hit of the year.

Therefore, since you were married to James, you were used to see Regulus as a rival and bad guy. But when you broke up, you reached out to him. Out of revenge first, you definitely wanted to make James jealous. But as you talked to Regulus more and more, you discovered how much of a sweetheart he was. He made you realise how much James wasn’t treating you right, because Regulus loved you and always made sure you knew it. He made you understand that the sentence “If he wanted to, he would” was definitely true. By his side you felt loved, whole and happy.

── ☆

Sat down at your table, your drink in hand. You were waiting for Regulus’s performance, you were sure he was going to be great, he always was. He appeared on stage and started to sing, you carefully watched him, proud of him. It was his new song, the first time he ever performed it live.

From the corner of your eyes, you looked at the marauders, they were watching Regulus and seemed pretty annoyed. You let out a chuckle. You were waiting for one particular lyric and you quickly realised it was the next sentence and watched even more carefully the band’s reaction.“

The words finally crossed Regulus’s mouth “Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife and she looks so pretty. Driving in your Benz. Lately she's been dressing for revenge.”

You couldn’t help but let a wide grin appear on your lips as you saw James’ clench his jaw as he briefly glanced at you before realising you were looking at him.

When Regulus sat down by your side again, you kissed him, the smile still present. “I can’t kiss you if you smile so much,” he said as he cupped your face between his hands.

“His reaction was priceless.”

“That’s what I wrote this for, darling,” he smirked.

You leaned into his side, your head resting on his shoulder. “It’s maybe childish of me, but I don’t care, he deserves it.”

The night ended and the grins never left both of your faces. And while the Marauders were going back home with their heads down and hands empty, you were sleeping peacefully next to the man of your life, with both of your awards installed proudly on your fireplace.

James lost you but you won everything. You won awards but you won the game of love too. Because you’re the best thing that happened to Regulus and he’s the best thing that happened to you.

⋆ ★ regulus black taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @maroon-winestain @cauliflowertree @madison-rebel @rhydianissuperior @loveeharrington @meredarling @jackys-stuff-blog @elenatries2write @juneberrie @f4iry-blush @gilmore-angel @heartfucks @songs4themoon @moondemon123 @mystic-writings @siriusblackstwin @natashxromanovf @unadulterated-syd @garfieldsladybird @starconfettii @percy-the-hufflepuff @fairydxll @spookydarkwitch @duxpuella @innerloverpainter @kieracassette @nyxxxxxxxx @venussflytraps @oncasette @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @widowbf @starlit-epiphany @rosalyn-s @etanordiesbullsh!t @daltopia @jsjcue @mellozhi @lovings4turn

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creatingnikki · 1 year

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things to remember in 2023

goodbye emo era, goodbye empath era, goodbye all you eras that have been putting others + emotions at the center of everything. hello self-serving era. self-serving, not selfish. see, more accurate vocabulary can make all the difference.

choose people who choose you. bare minimum is not impressive. it’s only an indicator that hmmm maybe I can explore what something with this person could lead to. it’s the basic eligibility criteria for opening up your time/schedule to someone, not heart. only time.

new people don’t need to know life stories and trauma from before 2018. if you want to talk about it just write about it, write it into your book.

do not listen to your parents. I mean this in the most respectful possible way. you are an adult now, you make your own decisions. because 20 years from now if you are sad and miserable and hating your life and you tell them hey it’s because you made me la la la chances are they are going to turn around and be like nobody forced you, you were an adult, you made your own decisions. so just make your own decisions. and they would be right. like just dodge the emotional manipulation and the drama and the guilt and lack of validation from them for a bit and go ahead and do things you want to in your life. and you already have daddy issues, right? pacify them in bed or something idk. just make your own bloody decisions independent of what your family/others expect of you.

explore more Hindi music.

channelize certain things you’ve seen in most men around you. channelize compartmentalization. channelize binary problem solving. channelize cutting your losses and exiting at the right time from romantic situations that do not have any future no matter how much you feel for them in the present.

do not force yourself to write fiction. maybe you don’t want to create stories. maybe you just want to write down what you already know. maybe you just want to write creative non-fiction. why is that a bad thing? don’t you think it’s time to let go of the ideas you have hyper-romanticized and see things for what they really are and then work with them?

dating apps are not where you will find love. hook-ups, maybe. but drama-free hook-ups? yeah, not quite sure about that either. let’s just go back to how we were before? let’s just focus on our life and believe that love will happen if and when it’s supposed to?

self-dates must make a return. you found that amazing second-hand bookseller next to your home and your favourite cafe from Bangalore is now in Mumbai and so many new art galleries are opening up around and when was the last time you went to Marine Drive and maybe it’s time to sneak into your college to go have your favourite food again from the canteen and maybe after work you can stay around and explore the popular bars and maybe you can find a post office next to your new apartment so you can start sending letters and packages to your best friend again. I know, I know 2022 was a year of such dramatic highs that gave you such adrenaline rush that coming back to things that were more grounded and brought you joy seems difficult but baby please. you cannot run towards psychosis so soon, okay? come back.

on that note, let’s find a yoga class around your apartment and also a gurudwara.

sign up for experiences and invest for the long term but do not invest in material things like furniture. at this point you are the typical mid-20s person who is free to up and leave whenever and wherever and you haven’t found a place you want to call home yet anyway. so keep your money liquid, don’t lock it up in stupid things, but invest for the long-term in equity assets to create wealth. also, go meet your accountant please. and get life insurance.

do not let family stuff get to you emotionally. deal with it in a logistic, functional, and objective way. as much as possible.

you really don’t have to respond to people within 24 hours, 48 hours, or even a week. I mean other than very few selected people (family, best friend, and your partner), nobody is owed your immediate attention. and even these inner circle people are owed your immediate attention only in a way where you keep them in the loop to let them know you are alive and doing okay.

you are a warm person and it’s easy for people to like you wherever you go. but you have such limited time, energy, and brain cells. you cannot scale yourself like a company. which means if you more people want to get to know you, talk to you, etc., you can’t supply them with that because you are not a scalable product. okay? okay.

earning more money will help only in a limited manner if you do not budget and control your spending. it’s not the person who earns more that is rich but the person who saves and invests and doesn’t take debt for consumption purposes. you can no longer be the ironic financial writer like in the confessions of a shopaholic. you are no longer a kid, you are an adult who has to take care of yourself and soon your dependents and so you cannot keep ranting on about capitalism while falling constant prey to it. instead you have to benefit from it.

figure out what is your choice of poison. for when you wanna just vibe, for when you want to get drunk drunk, for when you wanna be bhand. figure it out.

think of studying Korean as doing an undergrad degree. so you know you have to stick with this for the next three years. this way you don’t see it as a short-term fancy but as a longer term commitment and reach level 6 of fluency in the language. this way, by the time you are in your late 20s, you will actually be able to read Korean books in Hangul and not the English translation. that’s your goal, isn’t it? and writing poetry in Korean too.

your high school friend answered the question no doctor was. when you drink alcohol, make sure there is a 3-hour gap between that and your medication. but also keep the drinking in check. I mean honestly, iced coffee and fresh fruit juices for the win.

you go through people like you go through books. but people are not books. time to pick up actual books again and press pause on people.

do not commit anything to anybody because you have no sense of stability or certainty in your life right now. that doesn’t make you flighty. that doesn’t make you irresponsible. in fact, it makes you responsible because you aren’t making promises you aren’t sure you are capable of keeping even if you want to keep them. actions > intentions.

time to have a skincare routine. your sister has written you a whole blog on it - just follow that.

also oh my god. being twenty five/twenty six does not make you old. you don’t have to look at the younger people you interact with and feel uncool or outdated because then that’s how you’ll always feel. like when you were younger, you would look at the older people and think they are so cool, graceful, smart, and badass. divine, even. then that’s what you are becoming now. not knowing what certain emojis and slang means really has no bearing on how relevant you are.

this isn’t an exhaustive list, so come back. don’t just write this and forget all about it. come back, review, revise, add. but most importantly, remember. remember this is for you. so that you minimise pain and failure and shitty feelings and maximise peace and success and joy. and you do like optimum utilisation of resources, don’t you? so do that. apply yourself for yourself. that’s where the returns are the highest.

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saturnville · 5 months

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in the dirty south, II.

pairing: cowboy!coriolanus snow x black fem oc. warnings: old slang, sexual innuendo, flirting, sorta forbidden infatuation if you blink. shy!oc. content: while at a town fair with her family, delilah finds herself heavily infatuated with the new face in town. an: I'm not sure if I'll make another part to this. it depends on if I get more inspiration, but idk I like cowboy coriolanus.

tags: @snowlandsontopp @babyzzlove @hlstead @rosewine-5 @unicornqueen05 @thegabbyh @neeville @fastlikealambo @urfavesim @cherry2stems to keep your spot on the tag list, you are expected to interact!

The fair was just as lively as she remembered years ago. The sun was still beaming and the hustle and bustle ramped up by the minute. It was a beautiful sight of organized chaos. Tents and booths set up along the strip with excited members of the community engaged in every aspect. Small children chasing one another and giggling as they slid against the pavement, adults chugging beer like it was water, and young men and women engaged in an intense game of cornhole. Delilah smiled. It was light-hearted moments as such that made her days better.

Her mother had retired inside Turner's to combat the heat exhaustion she felt coming on. Luckily, the poundcake and milk were long gone, save for the slice Delilah saved for Coriolanus, so there was nothing to keep her outside. Delilah on the other hand, chose to sit perched underneath the tent with a fan in one hand and a cup of water in the mother. People watching would keep her amused for the time being.

As her dark eyes scoped the area, they landed on Coriolanus, who was engaged in a game of cornholl with Ezra and another young woman. Her eyes narrowed. The woman, who recognized as Lyra. They'd gone to school together years prior, and to say Delilah was fond of her was an understatement. She was a beautiful girl--dusty brown hair and fair skin with brown eyes--but she was mean. Delilah didn't like mean. But Ezra did.

She hummed to herself as she watched Ezra visibly melt as Lyra batted her eyelashes before throwing the sand-filled bag on the wooden plank. It seemed to get intense as Coriolanus grinned cockily after scoring, what she assumed to be, the winning point on the duo.

Delilah chuckled. Competitive just like every other man she knew. As if he could feel her heavy gaze on him, Coriolanu turned his head slightly. He tipped tipped his hat, which made her wave shyly.

Coriolanus said a few words to Lyra and Ezra before jogging over to where Delilah sat under the tent. "I hope you saved me a slice of cake." He took a seat next to her, knee brushing against her own. She said nothing rather slid the intricately folded napking that covered the poundcake toward him. Coriolanus smiled.

"Thank you." He unwrapped it and dropped a piece into his mouth, moaning softly at the taste. Delilah's body stiffened at the sound. Something within her was awakened. It didn't go unnoticed. Nor did the increased speed of her fan. Coriolanus raised his eyebrow. "You okay?"

"Just fine," Delilah replied. She turned to face him. "How do you know the boys? They're like my brothers and no offense, but they've never mentioned you before. Y'all get along like y'all have known each other for ages."

Coriolanus took in a breath. She was shy yet straightforward; he could respect it. The story of his relationship with her "brothers" was complicated. When he was exiled from the Capitol and thrust into District 11, he was alone. No familiar faces, no family, and no friends. But when he was stopped by Elijah, Malachi, and Ezra while walking to the fields for his early-morning shift, they'd become colleagues. Friends. Brothers.

"We work the fields together," Coriolanus said, turning to meet her tired eyes. "Stopped me on my way to work one morning when I moved to 11. Didn't have anybody. They became my somebody."

Delilah nodded. She thought about the mess he'd gotten himself in, and wondered how bad it had to have been if he was forced to move to the Districts. No one would move to the Districts from the Capitol. She loved being part of 11, but even she wouldn't pass up on the opportunity to experience Capitol living if it was an option.

"What about you, Miss Delilah Mae? Very pretty name, by the way." Coriolanus leaned toward her, his lips close to her ear. "Do you have somebody?"

Her fan stopped moving. Her fan stopped moved and her eyes cut to his. She'd never realized how pretty they were. They were like gentle waves in the sea. Could her boats sail across them and bask in their essence? She could only imagine.

Delilah brought her cup to her lips. Still stained red, they wrapped around the rim as she took a gulp. A singular droplet fell from the corner of her mouth and traveled down her cheek and neck until it slipped down the valley of her breasts. Coriolanus followed its route.

"No," she finally replied. "I don't. Why--you tryin' to be my somebody?"

A sly smile played on his lips as he shrugged. It wouldn't sound so bad. Getting to know the pretty girl with a whole lot of mysteriou treasure buried deep beneath her shy nature. He hoped to get lucky and find the gold.

Coriolanus brought a hand to her face and wiped away the remnants of water that rested there. His thumb and index finger cupped her chin gently. "I just might be, darling. Only if you let me."

#saturnville #black!reader #original writing #original content #black reader #coriolanus snow x black reader #fic inspo #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus x lucy gray #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #cowboy!coriolanus #cowboy!coriolanus snow #cowboy!coriolanus x black fem oc #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x delilah mae by saturnville

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actualbird · 2 months

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confession: i refrained from talking about It here (though i livetweeted the ordeal on my priv lsbdfsdlf) but now that things have calmed down, i wanted to share what's happened

from february 4 to february 12 of 2024, i experienced the most heartbreaking and heart wrenching week of my life. my mother tried to commit suicide several times, and the days were first spent taking care of her while in an overdosed state while she said over and over that she wanted to die before i finally broke and begged her to go to the hospital. up until that point, i was looking after her on my own. i was feeding her, getting her to sit up to drink water, walking her to the bathroom, checking if she was still breathing, and enduring it when she got mad at me and told me she was “fine.” i was hanging on by a thin thread. i’ve always been the house’s caretaker—always known as the pragmatic and responsible one—but this was more than I could ever handle.

“i don’t know how to help anymore,” i told my older sister when i myself had my own breakdown on the night of my mother’s hospitalization. as i hyperventilated and sobbed, the feeling of helplessness shook my body and my words. “i can’t help anymore.”

and then something really wonderful happened: people came and helped

when news got out of my mother's attempts, suddenly my phone was blowing up with texts and messages from people i didnt know. they were her friends: old friends from college, friends from the university she teaches at, her family from the province. they were all asking me and my siblings if they could help with anything: driving, food, money, emotional support. her family in the province drove hours from the province to meet us in the city just to lend a hand in keeping us calm. her friends from the university were the ones who drove her to the hospital and helped us out with a loan and financial aid for the ER bills.

my brother who lives in japan flew in back to the philippines despite having an academic conference just to help. his girlfriend drove him from the airport to the hospital despite having to study for an exam. my older sister's boyfriend came over just to buy us all donuts and food to make sure we were all eating while looking after everything. my girlfriend bought my sisters and i trinkets from a convention just to make us smile during these hard times, and she kept reminding me to sleep and eat and drink and take my meds. my online friends who knew were messaging me asking if i was okay, if i wanted to see some bird posts for serotonin or if i needed somebody to vent to or even to help with money too. hell, even my coworkers asked me if i was okay. they asked about my mom, and i told them, but then my supervisor asked "but how are YOU?" and i burst into tears

all this reminds me of that weird "discourse" i see around about how youre not supposed to ask friends for help because we're all adults and. i am 24. and in these weeks, i felt more like a helpless child than ive ever felt in my life

and yet

people came and helped

when youre needed, youre needed

and we didnt even ask. they just....showed up.

everybody we knew—friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family—they all showed up when we needed them

idk. i guess in this world it's really easy to feel really alone. i sure did. but youre really really not. i had no idea how many people were looking out for us, but they're here. they were here for us. ive lost count of how many people came to help, and isnt that a beautiful thing. i lost count of how many people helped

#i think this is what being human is about #dootdootdoot #things have calmed down now and everybodys okay now #and a large part of that is thanks to everybody who came in to help #cw suicide ment

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papyrusgayfont · 11 months

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* ok here’s why Sole Crusher and Zoe’s story throughout it is a queer allegory: a very long post (that might be good idk)

* (doing this because I only just paid attention to it and I haven’t really seen anyone else mention it, like I found an amino post and that’s it so yeah)

* before I begin, I know Zoe is queer, she is sapphic, but this episode came out before Adoration so it wasn’t “official” then (she was probably always intended to be sapphic but still)

* ok so first, Zoe states that she has to act all the time in front of people, how she’s “acting all the time, playing these different roles, trying to please everyone, until I couldn’t do it anymore”, and that can absolutely be read as a queer kid who’s in a situation where the people around them won’t be accepting of who they are, hence why she wants to be accepted; “the real me”, she says, and why it hurts her when, even though she left New York, she has to do act AGAIN to please her mom and Chloe. It can be read as someone in a more conservative household/environment being forced to pretend, to act they way their family and others around them want them to act.

* Zoe says that she wanted to meet her family’s expectations, and that if she did everything Chloe told her to do, she’d accept her (basically saying, my family expects me to be “normal”, so I will pretend I’m not like this hoping that they’ll accept me)

* she says that, at the boarding school, she was “playing a part, being someone else, hoping they’d accept me. But finally, I just couldn’t anymore. That’s when everyone turned against me.” This can so clearly be read as her “playing a part, being someone else, hoping they’d accept me” (pretending to be straight in front of others, hoping that if she keeps up the act, people won’t question her and she’ll be safe from everyone’s prejudice and judgement).

* and then there’s “But finally, I just couldn’t anymore. That’s when everyone turned against me”, which can be read as “when I just couldn’t act anymore, and I let my guard down, and I came out, everyone judged me, everyone hated me, I wasn’t ‘normal’ to them anymore”.

* she says that she understands if the others don’t want to be her friend, and is then surprised when they accept her. Mylene says they’re “one big happy family”, and Rose says that she’ll be fine with them (Rose also suggested “adopting” Zoe earlier in the episode, and idk if this is just my experience but in middle school a lot of my friends were queer and two of them “adopted” me and a few of our other friends, so yeah)

* Marinette states that “You’ll never have to leave again, Zoe. Welcome to Paris”, which can be her telling Zoe that there’s now people she can connect with that won’t ridicule and judge her for who she is, that they’ll accept her, and she won’t have to leave again if things go south.

* now onto the Andre scenes, first there’s the roof scene, where Andre admits that when he was young, he wanted to be a movie director, but he had to give that up to “earn his place”, which leads to Zoe confessing to him how she wanted to be an actress, but now acting just hurts her since she does it all the time to please everyone else, to be accepting.

* and so, Andre decided to show her his “cellar of dreams”, a cellar where he keeps things from his directing days. He then states that “it can be lonely when even your own family can’t accept you for who you are. We end up burying our feelings deep here, and here”, putting back Emilie’s profile. “If you want, I can make some space for you”, he says, and Zoe puts her sneakers inside.

* I 100% read this as an adult, someone else who is queer, seeing someone younger going through a similar situation to theirs, and being able to sympathize with them. He says “it can be lonely when even your own family can’t accept you for who you are”, which is, unfortunately, what a lot of queer kids (and adults too) go through with their own families. Him showing her what’s in the cellar could be seen as him showing her that she’s not alone, that he’s like her, that he’s gone through what she’s going through now (note how he holds the profile close to his heart), and that he is able to understand her.

* now the ending scene. Chloe and Audrey are upset that Zoe went against them and demand that she be sent back to New York, and Andre says that it would just take too long to enroll her in another boarding school, so for now she can stay, but Chloe demands that she has to stay in another part of the hotel, where she can’t see her, and Andre obliges. Zoe thanks Andre, and asks him to promise that he won’t keep his dreams locked away for too long, which he agrees too. The end cards then show Zoe interacting with the others, all while texting Marinette, saying “Thank you for everything! You were right. I can be myself here, ‘cause you and the others will always be there for me. For the first time in my life, I actually feel at home!”

* the constant threat of sending Zoe back to New York, which is in almost all of Zoe’s major appearances, can be seen as someone being disowned and kicked out of their home because they’re queer, because they’re not abiding by their families’ expectations.

* Zoe asking Andre to not leave his dreams behind can be seen as her trying to encourage him to be himself, to have more confidence in who he is.

* and the text message can be read as her thanking Marinette for introducing her to a community of people who will accept her no matter what, people who will help her live authentically, which is something she’s always wanted. She now has people she can talk too, and who will support her, without the threat of ridicule and harassment.

* now onto the more visual aspects of the episode, there isn’t as much here but still (this post is so long I’m sorry lmao)

* first, Zoe blushing after giving Marinette her number

* then there’s the cellar and what that represents

* and then there are two instances, from what I could see, of the pan flag being put into the episode (maybe I missed some idk)

* and lastly, this one card with Nino pointing and Zoe smiling (conveniently he’s pointing to where the rainbow is hmmmmmmmmm)

* and then for the final end card, where there are hearts next to Zoe as she looks at Marinette, the first person who was nice to her (aside from Jess, but we didn’t know that until recently so)

* (again, so sorry that the post is this long lmao, I just had so much to say about this episode and I’m bad at condensing my thoughts)

* (also please like and reblog this, but also you don’t have to lol)

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suckerforcate · 1 year

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Hey!! How are you doing? Okay, so since you're an educator, could you write a college!Larissa x fem!reader friends to lovers?

Reader is a politics major and they become friends over their shared interest in education. They get really close and something small (maybe Reader helping Larissa do her makeup in the classic wlw picture) makes her realize she's not so straight. Since we're thinking 1990s, being a sapphic politician wouldnt be so acceptable so Reader decides to change her college so she doesn't need to ruin their friendship but also keeps herself away from the "temptation". They eventually lose touch, but years later they meet in a Education Leadership Conference (or something like that) and Reader invites Larissa to work on some new law or campaign fully believing she's over her crush.

Except she's not. And adult!Larissa is slowly falling for Reader and her dedication to the education of outcasts and... idk, rights on children halthcare.

College Sweetheart

Pairing: Larissa Weems x Reader

Word Count: 2049

Warning: none (?)

A/n: I really like this actually, I hope you do too!! I'm sorry that I've been rather quiet today, I've spend the day with my best friend and didn't have so much time to write due to that. <3

You were straight. That was something you had been sure of your whole life. But right now, sitting in front of Larissa, you weren't so sure anymore.

The two of you had met in college and immediately hit it off. She was kind of your best friend by now. Your major was politics with a focus on educational law and Larissa's major was education. So your shared interest of the matter had brought you closer together. You had spent most of your free time together, even if it was just quietly learning together.

Of course, you had noticed that you felt happier anytime you were near her. Your heart seemed to explode, and you did get a little nervous. But that was normal, wasn't it? At least that were things you could ignore. But the latest incident couldn't be ignored. It was clear that you felt something for her, even though it was a little hard to grasp as you had been sure that you were straight. Apparently you weren't.

Larissa and you had decided to do a sleepover. A typical "girls night", watching movies, cooking together, laughing a lot and doing each others make up. The latter was the problem. While doing someone's makeup you get very, very close to them. And suddenly you got the undeniable urge to kiss her. Not in a funny way, like friends sometimes do. In a real, romantic way. The urge was so overwhelming that you had to stop applying her mascara for a second and pull yourself together. Thankfully, Larissa didn't seem to notice.

After this evening it got harder and harder to ignore what you felt for her. Suddenly you were much more aware of all the things you had already felt before. She was on your mind constantly and besides having a hard time concentrating most if the time, you were really scared. Scared of what she'd think and also scared, that if you'd ever act on the matter and somehow people would find out that you weren't actually straight, your career in politics would find an end before it had even started.

It took you a while to make the decision, it certainly wasn't an easy one. But it was the right one. And sometimes, making the right decision hurts.

You choose to change college. You needed to get away from Larissa, you wanted to be friends with her. Your friendship was very dear to you, she was after all your best friend. Larissa was devastated when you told her, you had made up some stupid lie. The focus on education was better there. It would be helpful and important for your career, you would be an expert in the matter. She believed it, of course she did. You were a good liar, you had always been. The farewell was horror, you cried. Both. But as you got in the car and Larissa was out of sight, you started to sob. A gut-wrenching, ugly sobbing. The tears blocking your vision so much you had to drive to the side of the road.

You tried to hold contact in the following weeks, calling and writing whenever there was time. The problem was, there was hardly any time. Your schedules couldn't have been any more different. And so, with time, you lost each other more and more. Until your friendship was merely a memory, coming to mind at times.

----------------------

"Shit!" You exclaimed as you tripped on the stairs. It had been a horrible day, everything seemed to go sideways. You had overslept, leaving you with six incredibly short minutes to get ready. But you had taken immoderate thirteen minutes, which is why your colleague had decided to just drive without you. That had led to you having to take the bus. Which was a horrible experience, as always. It was rush hour, you can imagine the situation inside of the bus. And now you tripped on the last stair on your way to the conference room.

Today was the Education Leadership Conference and you had a whole speech prepared on why schools for outcasts should be supported more. But it would be hard presenting that speech with some broken bones.

Thankfully, you didn't fall down. You felt arms around you, right before you would have hit the ground. The arms held you and lifted you back to your feet.

"Thank you very much, I real-" you didn't go on, because at that moment you realised who stood in front of you.

"Larissa?" You looked up to her, she looked exactly the same. Her signature red lipstick, the silver hair up in a beautiful hairdo and eyes blue like the ocean.

"(Y/n), what are you doing here?"

"Well I could ask you the same thing, I'm a politician. Focus on educational matters. Just how I always wanted it to be." You smirked, proud of what you had achieved.

"Well I'm the Principle of Nevermore Academy. The school for outcasts that I went to. And I am here to represent us in the educational system." You just wanted to tell her that you had a speech for that matter exactly, but you were interrupted by someone telling you two to please get in as the conference was about to start. So you went in and sat down together.

After a few hours the topic came to outcasts and the man leading the conference, bid you to the front. Larissa's eyes widened as she realised what your speech would be about.

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

First of all, I want to start by saying: thank you. Thank you for giving me the honour of talking in front of you today. Education is a matter that has always been important to me, but the education of outcasts is particularly close to my heart. And before you wonder, No, I'm not an outcast. But that doesn't mean, that I can't support them and their rights.

I believe that the way Outcasts are treated is outrageous. Just the name Outcasts is a scandal as itself. It tempts us to believe that a life together, all as one, isn't possible. That, under all circumstances, we should live like two different species. Romantic connections between them and "Normies", as we are being called, are frowned-upon. And I can't help myself, thinking back to the LGBTQ+ rights movement. Haven't we learned anything from that?

These people are born like this, it's what they are. And they need to receive proper education. It is unbelievable that the politics like to completely overlook this. And in addition to that I believe, that everyone should be educated on this matter. Because, you won't believe me Ladies and Gentlemen, but Outcasts aren't as rare as you might think. And to ensure a safe, and tolerant life together, education is essential.

Your speech went on for a little longer and as you sat down next to Larissa again you saw that she couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the conference.

"Would you like to grab a drink afterwards?" Larissa slid a piece of paper over to you. In neat handwriting you wrote: "I'd like that, very much."

So after the conference, Larissa and you left together. You showed her a little, quiet bar just around the corner.

"I- What you said in there, your speech. It really moved me." Larissa looked at you, close to tears.

"The kids, my students, they mean everything to me. And it makes me so incredibly angry that we are so overlooked by the politics. It's nice to see a Normie care so much." You put your hand on hers and smiled lovingly at her.

The evening felt like a haze, you talked for hours. Catching up on everything that happened, but with every second that you looked at Larissa, with every word she said, you came to realise that you were in love with this woman. And in fact you had been for nearly twenty years. This wasn't the slight crush you remembered, you loved her. There was no denying it. And suddenly your whole life made sense. You understood why you had never been able to really settle down with someone, to really feel pure and deep love for anyone.

This time though, you didn't cut contact with Larissa. After the conference she went back to Vermont and you kept in touch. Regularly you chatted and Larissa invited you to come visit Nevermore for Spring Break. You could have also come in-between holidays, but Larissa told you she wanted to have time for you. If the students were there that wouldn't be the case. Still you decided to stay longer than spring break, you were eager to meet some students and maybe even talk to them.

---------------

You arrived at the train station in Jericho as it was already dark. The station was rather empty except for a few people who left the train together with you. It was easy to find Larissa. She was tall and there weren't a lot of people to block your vision.

Your heart skipped a beat as you saw her. You wanted to run to her, embrace and kiss her. You had missed her so much. But you knew how inappropriate that was, so you settled for a slight welcome hug. She guided you to her car, and you drove to the Academy.

It had something peaceful and calming to it, sitting in the car embraced by darkness. Looking at Larissa, face nearly unrecognisable but beautiful in the mild light of the street lamps. You could have kept driving on and on for hours. Just the two of you.

-----------------------

The first few days, Larissa showed you around the school and Jericho. It was a flight spending so much time with her, but you weren't just her for fun.

You had brought some files and documents on the campaign about additional support for outcasts and their education. You really wanted Larissa's opinion and help on them.

So for the next week, the two of you spend a lot of time in the library and in Larissa's office. Hoovering over tons of books and files, researching the history and evolution of outcasts and how they were perceived in society. You definitely bonded even more over the work and Larissa found herself enchanted by you. Your dedication to the matter made her heart swell and moved her immensely. She fell for you, deeply. And even though she hadn't planed on sharing that with you, life sometimes makes different decisions.

----------------------

It was late already but the two of you were still in the library, quietly sitting next to each other reading through some books. Larissa turned around in her chair a little, bumping her long leg against yours. Fast she put a hand onto your thigh, right where her knee had hit you.

"I'm sorry, love." The pet names were as normal for her as breathing and still the made your heart stop every time. You grabbed her hand, looking up at her.

"No worries!" You wanted to go back to your book, but she didn't let go of your hand and as you looked up you realised she was staring at you.

"What's wrong?" And before she could think about it, it had slipped out.

"I think I love you." She threw her hand onto her mouth, as if that would get the words back inside. Her eyes widened in regret. Slowly you put the book from your lap onto the table and got closer to her.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/n). I shouldn't have said that." You gently took her hand in yours, trying to calm her.

"Why, I think it's wonderful." She looked confused, rejection was what she had expected. Not acceptance, and most of all she didn't expect you to return the feelings.

"Well, I've had a crush on you since college. Even though I've realised as I met you again, it was so much more than a crush. I love you, Larissa." Larissa looked extremely cute when speechless, her cheeks were burning red, and you felt goosebumps on her skin as you leant in for a kiss.

Maybe leaving hadn't been easy twenty years ago. But if it leads to this, you would always do it again.

#gwendoline christie #gwendoline christie x reader #wlw #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x you #larissa x reader #wednesday #wednesday netflix #wednsday addams #principle weems

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silviakundera · 3 months

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DRAMA REC: So I feel like any real review of Thai drama Moonlight Chicken is hard without heavy spoilers because honestly I don't know how to talk about what makes me passionate about it without discussing all the character relevations that occur over the course of its 8 episodes. I'll try to be generic as much as I can.

The thing about why it's hard to discuss without spoilers is that the characters and their full baggage are revealed slowly episode by episode, because like in real life you often learn about new friends & love interests slowly as intimacy deepens...

But from what I can see online, it's very subjective for viewers - depends on the person if they find these themes and personal challenges compelling or not. This doesn't fit with the typical "BL asian drama" format.

My personal viewing stake: There's an otp that has TAKEN OVER MY BRAIN. I have been searching for this energy ever since finishing Lighter & Princess. Gotta confess that I couldn't care less about the second couple who are teenagers. Apparently MDL and a lot of tumblr only liked the teen couple (valid!), but I just skipped over them mostly because when my brain locks in on Real Adults with Adult Problems I often cease to connect to high school student storylines. But the age gap couple with a 39 year old character who is FEELING his age... Jim & Wen. I've watched all 8 episodes now and they are like cocaine to me.

Ep 1 setup: We're not in Bangkok! (gasp) Jim is almost-40 and runs a late night diner in the less upscale part of town. Wen, about 10 years younger, is drunk at his diner as he's trying to close for the night. They pick up on the unspoken signals, instant electric connection, and end up wandering back to Jim's place and having what looks like fantastic sex together (without exchanging names).

But then after that first night, in the remaining 7 ep of the show you get a slowburn build up from zero as Jim doesn't want a relationship - with anyone. This is truly, sincerely a 'it's not you, it's me" situation. He is mired in baggage and the angst is SO DELICIOUS to me. Angst and soft hand touches and late night conversation. There's YEARNING. SO MUCH YEARNING.

And then my darling Wen! Who brings almost the same energy as the Lighter and Princess FL. @dangermousie I never thought I'd see this irrepressible determination and tender, good humored patience again! He is deeply sure that there is something special here with Jim and is unrelenting about trying to scale Jim's walls. I know that sounds like psychotic SML material lmao but it's all about the tone and context. It's very clear that Jim is allowing Wen in his life and doesn't, deep down, want Wen to give up on him. He's damaged and scared but I always felt he wants Wen to be right - that they are falling in love and can build something real together. He just can't make himself take that step. I mean, in their 2nd meeting he is EQUALLY INSANE to agree that it's v normal and hinged behavior to let his 1 night stand start randomly showing up to work shifts at his diner as 'temp staff' he can't afford to pay because... um. Basically to stalk him? idk I don't think it's stalking when u have a mutual agreement?? 🤔

Wen falling deeper into Jim and KNOWING the feeling is mutual no matter how many times he's (so gently!) pushed back... can be sooooo personal. 😭😭😭 The vibes of this "we're Not Together™" but it's inevitable, I'm just waiting for the timing to be right... reminiscent of the last 10 episodes of Lighter & Princess. This building intimacy and tenderness that stretches on until as a viewer you feel like... They ARE in love, they're together but just without the sex. They just have to stabilize their lives first before committing whole-heartedly. THE BITTERSWEET PINGING. (screams)

One thing I've observed is many people seem to struggle to connect with Jim's character. The closest thing we have to a protagonist (?) Maybe. Anyway, I suspect it might be a generational thing. I found the drama incredibly compelling, but I grew up queer in the 80s and 90s. I'm well into my 40s, a bit older than Jim, but I think the generational queer experience overlaps pretty well considering the sociopolitical differences btw us/thailand.

The screenwriter is an older out gay man, so I presume that's also a factor in how he did a pitch-perfect depiction of Jim's struggles to find home.

Wen has his own baggage that feels very real and raw. I loved his storyline because I could personally relate to it also from my queer relationship experience.

I've blabbered on here before about how I feel like there's something different about queer stories being told to other queers, not targeted to straight viewers primarily - I'm not saying it's better than the big brands and popular international media including lgbt rep. It's just different imo and I do think it's valuable. I want to see stories about the complexities of the experience & about the gay community that can't just be mapped to straight people. Where the story would not feel the same if you flipped the sexualities. That's what Midnight Chicken was to me: the characters of Jim and Wen and their personal development & slow love story together felt very queer and the age gap was a relevant part of this. And that called to me. I could recognize parts of myself in them and my personal experiences as a gay woman.

I was impressed by the writing. Strong acting. The directing of individual scenes is excellent BUT the 1 big flaw is the editing. Very amateur, super abrupt scene changes! Just jarring. But whatever, I've seen some terrible editing in cdramas too. Also note the storytelling tactic is to show a series of meaningful moments & interactions over like 6-8 months of time. Events progress in ways we don't always see and it's not always spelled out to the audience, everything that happened since we last saw them. That may or may not work for the viewer.

[Plus there's a very sweet & wholesome teen love story that also gets a happy ending, if you're into that. One of the teens is deaf and there's no "cure the disability" nonsense, don't worry. I was adult-focused but I did appreciate the complicated family relationship subplot with Jim trying to caretake his nephew and their relationship to the mostly-absent sister.]

ok so now into spoiler territory. Letting the relevations come out organically would be a much better viewing experience BUT...

SPOILERS ON JIM & WEN BACKSTORY

Jim's whole deal is he had a big love in his late 20s-early 30s that fucked him up good. He grew up being told gay love isn't real, leaves his rural farming town with his sister in their teens, disconnected from his family... But even his sister, who loves him, had the perspective that it's Just A Phase. Jim expects to Prove Them Wrong. Then his boyfriend cheats on him.... With a woman. Activate that generation's internalized homophobia and self-doubt. And then before he gets to truly confront his partner, his partner dies in an accident. So he never gets resolution.

And he's stuck under a mountain of debt, on the edge of poverty because he didn't get any of the guy's assets when he died of course. No rights under Thai law. Partner's family takes it all but the old car & the cat. All he has is the small chicken rice shop they had bought and ran together and it's killing him, he both hates and loves it. He's this amazing member of the local community but doesn't see himself and his own worth clearly.

Wen is working through the guilt of falling out of love from his 1st gay relationship that lasted 5 years of his 20s. Broken up but still living together. Trying to stay in each other's lives (I've seen this a lot, because in small gay communities you don't just cut ties with good people you care about). But living together is toxic for both of them, despite the real care that's there.

He also feels disconnected from a community at the start. He has work collegues, all straight friends, and his now-ex boyfriend. But you get the subtle sense that his local ties are all with the boyfriend Alan's family and mutual friends with Alan who don't all know about the breakup yet and he doesn't know how to interface with them anymore now that he and Alan aren't the same. He's the one who fell out of love, so he's "the bad guy" here and the straight friend he tries to talk to about trying to co-habititate with his ex and stay close friends doesn't really get it, because that's just way more typical behavior for older generation queers - it's notable that when the situation is fully explained to Jim, he doesn't seem to find it bizarre at all (as said, I've gone through that myself, and known friends in that situation; found that subplot to be very well done.) (I read that many viewers were disappointed this wasn't a standard infidelity situation where Wen is just regular cheating on Alan, but I have to say that I feel the opposite. The subplot and how it played out felt very relatable to me. I didn't need a cheating angst plotline in this drama that could be transplanted into a straight drama. I wanted more stories that represented my lived experience as an adult lesbian, and Wen's narrative gave me that.)

Wen keeps searching for a home even while living with Alan and having loved him in the past. Which to me was a sign that he'd moved to this smaller city, living in Alan's condo and in Alan's life with Alan's extended family... He started eating beef because Alan did and following along. He doesn't know where HE feels at home, what Wen needs to be comfortable and happy. When he more & more starts to believe he can make this home with Jim, he's determined to make it happen.

#really long post #agonizingly long meta #sorry to my mutuals #ily 😘😘😘#drama review #drama recommendation #midnight series: moonlight chicken #jimwen #moonlight chicken

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chaos-grimlin · 10 months

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Uh SCREAM SIX SPOILERS

Hi there! Can I request a Randy scenario where his gf or s/o reader goes through the same thing Anika does in Scream Six with the ladder and even the same kinda wound before the ladder and Randy is in the other building with Dewey Gale and Sid thank you

Finally I seen scream 6 so I can do this!!

Warning: kinda a scream 6 Spoiler

Pairing: Randy and Fem! Girlfriend reader

I changed it up slightly and this takes place during scream two...why....idk I just got the feeling...

Try not to fall (Randy meeks and Fem! Reader)

^^^3rd person P.O.V^^^

INTRO: No one thought they'd find themselves in this situation....one where they were running for their lives from a deranged murder who taunted them for weeks...killing off their friends and family one...by..one.

After the first accident that left them all scared and fearful they moved..well...Randy, Sidney and Y/n moved.

They moved for collage and mostly to get away from Woodsboro for a bit, so maybe the could forget their past...but their past seemed to follow them close behind...

Soon, nights were filled with blood and massacre...hinting to a new ghostface killer...

News spread quickly through their town and woodsboro...everyone read the books and watched the movies..so the town grew eager and almost...sickly excited for a new killer..but the news struck worry in some...including Dewey riley...the sheriff of woodsboro that survived being Stabbed in the back by Stu macher.

Dewey was quick to make his way to sidney, randy, and Y/n...but..their meeting was nothing like how they planned it to be...

It was late at night...10:37 to be exact, and there was a faint knock on the door that made all the young adults jump fear and PTSD filling their bodies to the brim.

But their fear melted when they saw the soft smile that Dewey gave them through the small window.

Once the door was open the started chatting...but none of them cared to check if it was locked..

As they sat there catching up, laughing and talking, seeming to forget about the problem at hand..someone had snuck in....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

^^^Y/n P.O.V^^^

I sat on the couch laughing at a joke Dewey had said along with everyone else.. finally I felt... normal...

Since the woodsboro massacre and finding out my bestfriends were the ones behind the masks, I felt like an outcast. I felt the eyes that lingered on me, I heard people whisper about me and what had happened to me..but I always acted like I didn't care..when in reality all I wanted was some comfort with social interactions.

I knew i had Randy..the guy I had started dating only days after the massacre..and he was amazing at helping distract me from it all, but I always ended up back in the dark places that I tried to kept hidden from my brain.

"Y/n..baby...you okay?" Randy's sweet velvety voice rang through my ears as I felt him wrap a arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to his side.

"Yeah I'm good!" I say flashing a smile as I nuzzled up to his side.

"Hold on..when did you two become a thing?" Dewey teased as a smile broke out onto his face

"Oh a few days after..ya know" Randy muttered

As soon as those words left his lips I stood up "ima go get a drink" and at that, I walked off, feeling those thoughts rise into my skull once again.

I walked to the fridge, rubbing my eyes..but then..a feeling bubbled up into my gut..the feeling of being watched...

I looked around almost frantically, my eyes dashing around too fast for me to comprehend anything.

"Dewey! Randy! Sidney! I think someone's-" as those words left my lips

In a swift motion a figure emerged from the dark hallway infront of me, impailing my lower stomach with a knife.

I felt pain..nothing but pain corsing through ever inch of my body.

A scream forced its self out of my throat as the person started dragging the knife upwards.

All i could focus on was the pain..all the pain the spread...the pain the intensified...causing me to scream louder.. and all I could look at was the blacked out eyes of the mask

I didn't notice when everyone come rushing in till shots were fired causing the masked person to pull the knife out of my slit stomach and bolt into the darkness.

I gasped for air as I fell to the floor, clutching my stomach as if trying to keep my organs from spilling out of my body

I cried

I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks as Randy was quick to loop his arm around me, pulling me up.

I howled in agony and pure pain.

I clenched my jaw tightly and kept my hand over my stomach, whining and crying as Randy kept me up.

"We gotta go!" Sidney yelled

None of them knew how badly I was hurt...

Sidney ran to a nearby bed room and Dewey followed While randy scooped me up in his arms and ran to the room too

Whines of pain escaped my mouth as I felt my precious life fade away

Randy set me on a bed sitting next to me, gently lifting my blood stained shirt..only for his eyes to go wide and he started crying...sobbing while I felt my eyes flutter closed then jolt back open seconds later

We couldn't hide....no way in hell we could..

Dewey and Sidney started to baracade the door as Randy tried to help me..

But all it ened up doing was spreading and spilling more and more blood.

"No no no Y/n! Don't you die! Don't you die on me Y/n!" Randy gasped out as he held his hands tightly onto my stomach

Making me cry harder and let out another scream...

^^^3rd person P.O.V^^^

Dewey rushed to the window and opened it, willing to help everyone out if it wasn't too high...but once he did..he was met with a face he thought he'd never see again...Gale weathers

Gale motioned for Dewey to open the window like she had hers and Dewey compiled.

"That the hell is going on!?" Gale yelled, after hearing Y/ns cries of pain.

Once Gale spoke..someone started banging harshly on the door they had blocked moments ago..

"No time...we're trapped in this room! Y/ns injuried...badly!" He yelled as Sidney pushed on the door, keeping it closed.

"Hold on!" Gale screamed, she always had a soft spot for Y/n that she herself couldn't understand.

Gale rushed to the supply closet in the apartment she was in and then ran back..ladder in hand

"Hurry up Gale!" Randy screamed in panic as he saw Y/n become weaker by the second

Gale extended the ladder and started pushing it out the window till it met the window of the room they were in, Dewey secured the ladder in place.

"Sid you go! I'll hold them off!" Dewey yelled as he and Sidney traded spots

As sidney climbed across the ladder and to the apartment gale was in, Dewey pushed more things infrot of the door as the banging continued but louder.

"Randy go!" Dewey yelled

"I'm not leaving her!" Randy yelled keeping Y/n close

"I'll stay with her randy! Just go!" At that

Randy hesitantly let go of Y/n and went to the window, climbing onto the ladder.

Dewey rushed to y/n side, seeing she was cut deeper then he thought. "Hey hey it's all g..gonna be okay" Dewey whispered as he held Y/ns wound closed and watched Randy climb. Once he was across Dewey got ready to help Y/n over

"Let her go last!" Sidney yelled

"She injured!"she added

Randy looked at Sidney as if she was stupid "that's why we need to get her over!"

"G..go Dewey..s..Sids..right" y/n admitted knowing she wouldn't get across in time.

"As soon as he's halfway you start crawling okay? Okay?!" Randy yelled through tears.

Y/n stood on shakey legs and blood rushed from jer stomach, the banging on the door was more violent by now and some stuff they used to block the door started to fall.

Once Dewey was halfway across Y/n slowly grabbed the ladder and moved onto it, as she did she felt as if all her organs would spill out, leaving jer dead on the ladder.

Dewey was quick to get.fully across while Y/n moved at a slower pace trying not to her herself more or slip since the blood on her hands made the metal slick.

"Fuck!! Hurry Baby hurrry!" Randy screamed out as he watched..but things took a turn for the worst..

The door was busted open and the person dressed as ghostface saw the ladder

Y/n was crying in pain and fear as she tried to move faster, causing herself more pain but it was too late..

Ghostface grabbed the end of the ladder and started moving it violently, causing y/n to scream and clutch onto the metal harder as she tried to cross

"no no! Baby please! Don't fall please!" Randy's cries echoed around her as she held onto the bars screaming as the ghost face moved the ladder more, causing her body to jolt and bounce, her legs slipping.

Yet

As if by merical.. she made it close enough to reach out to Randy

Randy instantly stuck his hand out, trying to grab onto hers as whoever it was kept moving the ladder

"I..I don't wanna die" she cried out as she desperately tried to grab Randy's hand..

Then

Disaster stuck..

Y/n loosened her grip on the ladder as she tried to reach out to Randy and due to this..one last shake of the ladder caused her to slip

Her blood coated hand betrayed her and she lost her grip..and her legs were too weak to hold her up..and she fell.

Her scream echoed through the alleyway and then all was silent other then a sickening sound her skull cracking as it hit the metal dumpster then the hard concrete

Randy froze, his body almost giving out on him as he saw her fall

His whole world died with one fall..

He felt a scream of both anger and sadness leave his lips as he looked at the ghostface with tear filled eyes.

Randy looked at them..he couldn't bring himself to look down at the only lover he had laying on the cold concrete with her head busted open.

Randy wanted to erase the memories off last year and today from his brain and remember his girlfriend when she was happy when she wasn't in pain or crying in his arms due to countless nightmares

"YOULL PAY! YOULL PAY YOU SICK FUCK!" Randy screamed out as the ghostface rushed off.

Everyone was stunned...shocked...at what happened..no one wanted to believe that Y/n had fell...but once Sidney looked down and let out a cry of disgust, sadness, and anger..they knew she was gone..and that the aftermath looked bad...

Sidney saw Y/ns lifeless eyes staring at her as her organs covered the floor along with her blood and parts of her broke skull. She saw the blood that ran from her open mouth..she regretted looking..every time she closed her eyes all she saw was her...

Randy fell to his knees, animalistic cries and screams bellowing out from him

Gale, Dewey and Sidney all hugged him tightly..they all knew and felt the hurt that he felt..

Y/n was their little ball of sunshine..their own gift from the heavens..now..the sunshine has faded and the gift had been taken..everyone felt a small part of them die along with Y/n...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days had passed

Yet none of them could stop thinking about her...

She plagued Randy's dreams

And her dead eyes haunted sidney

Sidney felt guilty for making Y/n go last..and she knew Randy blamed her for his girlfriends death..even Gale blamed Sidney too..

Ever since the first massacre.. Gale became like a mother figure to Y/n..she even took a beating just to give Y/n a chance to escape Billy and Stu..Gale loved Y/n like a daughter...and the noise of her skull cracking make gale want to vomit every time it played its way into her mind..

Not long after her death...maybe a week...

More calls were made

And more murders were committed..

This time..

The killer had killed Randy

Yanking him into a van stabbing him repeatedly and slitting his throat, leaving him a bloody mess like his girlfriend

All because Gale and Dewey told him to keep the killer on the phone

More guilt weighted onto Gale Dewey and Sidney when the found Randy's body

Coating in blood...

Yet all of them knew

That now...

He could be with his girl now...he could be with his Y/n...

And Sidney, Dewey, and Gale all vowed that they'd kill these sick fucks in honor of their friends..

Y/n l/n and Randy meeks

#billy loomis #stu macher #randy meeks x reader #randy meeks #scream #ghostface #mickey altieri #dewy riley #gale weathers

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this-ag-doll-is-a-butch · 2 months

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Clara Montoya: Autistic???

I've been getting back into AG for almost a year now. Josefina has always, always been my fave, since we were both nine years old.

I've been thinking about how I want her to have a counterpart in her time and location to actually interact with in period-appropriate ways. She never received a Best Friend doll, though :(

But really, her whole story is centered around her family anyway, and I've seen people talk about how 2005 GOTY Marisol Luna has been used to create Clara dolls. And yep, the resemblance is real.

So I have plans to get a Marisol and make her Clara. Although they may take a some months to come to fruition, considering all my other doll and fandom and plushie collection goals and IRL expenses 😔

But it's free to think about Clara's character and plan for what I want her collection to encompas.

The thing that strikes me most, looking at her now with the adult knowledge of being autistic myself- she REALLY seems like a character that one can headcanon as autistic with ease.

She's logical and practical and literal to a fault. She hates change and getting dirty and wants to keep everything organized. Sewing and embroidery are her special interests! She bonds with Tía Dolores through those interests! She clashes hard with Francisca, who just does not want to make the effort to understand her.

She has strong attachment to objects, to the extent that it becomes a huge part of the plot in "Josefina's Surprise." (The altar cloth, Niña.)

Niña is her comfort object, for fuck's sake!!!!! She manages to relinquish primary custody of Niña to Josefina, but ONLY after Tía Dolores managed to give her a new comfort object (Mamá's silver thimble.)

I mean, I think I need to closely reread all Josefina's series and acquire all short stories and the mysteries. What else is going on with dear Clara and her autism? Does she have sensory issues???

It goes without saying that Clara was never deliberately written as autistic, and of course in 1824 New Mexico, a word didn't exist for autism. But we autistics have always existed.

In terms of a potential collection- obviously Josefina's nightgown straight-up seems to be Clara's camisa and IDK how to feel about that. How can Josefina not have her nightgown??? 😭

One potential solution I've been thinking about is a similar nightgown for her but with a different neck ribbon. I can't sew, but it seems Etsy seller Magnoliawillows makes a similar nightgown with a blue ribbon which could be Josefina's new nightgown.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1325115163/josefina-montoya-style-night-shift

Also, I know her BeForever nightgown exists too. But I'm not as emotionally bonded to it, since it came after "my time" lmao. Maybe it would be nice if Clara and Josefina had summer and winter nightgowns 🤔

And I could get Josefina's BeForever bed for Clara! That's another reason why I want a Clara- to have a way to use more of Josefina's collection as I acquire it, especially the BeForever items.

And if AG could just get off their asses and GIVE JOSEFINA LITERALLY ANY COLLECTION AT ALL AGAIN, it would be great to buy whatever is (re-)released new and use it mostly for Clara, because that way I could have the beloved Pleasant Company versions of my memory yet also support Josefina's collection today.

Meet Accessories/Outfit ideas- Josefina's PC red-ribbon nightgown as camisa, different rebozo, moccasins, extra pair of Josefina bloomers, indigo skirt (although it would be interesting to try and see if someone sells/would make a skirt closer to book illustrations... however, 1820s New Mexican sisters, even in a well-to-do family like Josefina's, definitely shared clothes. So it would make sense from that perspective).

She'd need a doll-size pair of scissors, which Tía Dolores gave her, of course. And I'd want her to have some kind of necklace, because all AG historicals did/do. I'd need to know more about necklaces from then, though... perhaps some kind of mílagro, or Saint Clara symbol/medal? I'd want her to have a little sewing & embroidery kit to hang on her belt, too.

One thing that would take a lot more work, yet would make an amazing story, would be to somehow find another little doll's-doll like Niña. I have a whole story idea where some kind of secret room somehow gets found (maybe at Abuelito and Abuelita's house in Santa Fe) and a long-forgotten doll from Mamá and Tía Dolores' childhood gets given to Clara 🥺

Another idea would be to assemble stuff to create a little shrine for Clara and Josefina to pray at (yes I got the idea from the Mini World image). Especially because it would have Mamá's colcha-embroidered altar cloth! And just in general, part of why I connected with Josefina so much growing up was that her family is Catholic, just like mine.

These days, obviously, I'm a grown up monbinary gay ex-TradCath (similar to ExVangelical) with religious trauma, but maybe making a doll Catholic shrine would be a way to deal with that in a more healthy manner...

Anyway I would love to talk about Clara and Josefina!!!! Josefina-lovers please interact!!!!

#josefina montoya #clara montoya #american girl #agblr #autistic headcanon #best friend dolls #doll ideas #montoya family #religion cw #religious trauma mention

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blueindigo17 · 1 month

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hi writeblr!! it's nice to meet you!!

I’ve had this blog for years but never posted anything bc to be honest I was a little afraid of tumblr when I first joined, but recently I decided that since I like talking about my wips so much to my friends/family irl, why not blog about them? I also want to find some writing mutuals, since I like hearing about people’s stories just as much as I like telling them about mine. Feel free to interact, follow, message, etc. I love making friends :D

About me <3

My name is Allie, but I go by Blue or BlueIndigo online. Feel free to use any of those :)

My pronouns are she/her

I’m 19, which also happens to be my favorite number :)

I have five wips, 96 characters (about half of which with a birthday I celebrate like it were my own), and yet very few words actually written (some words plotted though. look at me go!)

I'm kinda in between fandoms at the moment, however I want to start watching Criminal Minds bc I've never seen it and I have a feeling I'm gonna get sucked into the fandom immediately lol

I am a MASSIVE swiftie (favorite album is 1989 TV), and I listen to a lot of 5SOS, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, and Harry Styles

I love reading !! My favorite author is Taylor Jenkins Reid & favorite books are Malibu Rising, Carrie Soto Is Back, and Daisy Jones & The Six.

I play ukulele, and I've written a handful of songs for one of my wips (more on that later)

I use these emoticons :) :D <3 in practically every sentence

I have a thing where my wip titles have to make good acronyms or I don’t use them. idk why either.

I love talking about my WIPs to the point of annoyance.

Speaking of talking, #blueindigo says things for non-wip related stuff <3

I like to write…

Realistic fiction

Contemporary fiction

Young adult/new adult

Coming of age

Romance

LGBTQ+ characters

Found family

pretty much just people being people :)

More about my wips below !!

My WIPs

Never Have We Ever (NHWE)

Tags: #wip: never have we ever #wip: NHWE

Summary: Liz has the best friends a girl could ask for. Harley, Mikey, and Natasha have been her people since elementary school, and Trevor and Amanda since middle school. Their whole lives, things have been pretty much the same. Same kids in their classes every year. Same streets between the same houses. Same, same, same. At the end of her freshman year of high school, just about when Liz is wondering how much same she could possibly handle, she catches Trevor’s eye as he laughs at someone’s joke, and something deep inside her lights up. Something she doesn’t know what to do with. Something she can't push back down once it comes barreling up to the surface. So much for same. After that, things can’t stop changing. And not just in her own life—her friend group starts pulling apart at the seams. Harley begins withdrawing from everyone with no explanation. Mikey gets in bigger trouble with his dad than ever. Natasha only has a year before she has to move off to college. Amanda accidentally reveals a secret no one was ever meant to know. At least Trevor seems to have gotten off easy. In this collection of short stories, Liz has to wonder if the change of pace she thought she wanted is worth it. Sometimes it’s hard to be brave, and she’s never been the most open to change, but unfortunately, that does not stop it from happening. The only question is: what is she going to do about it?

Genres: short stories, realistic fiction, young adult, coming of age, contemporary Themes: found family, first crushes, dealing with change, growing up, maintaining friendships Characters: Liz Stanton 🩵, Harley Wilson 💚, Mikey Miller 💛, Natasha Knightley 💜, Trevor Marshall ❤️, Amanda Hamilton 🩷

NHWE is my oldest WIP, started on December 16, 2019. It’s been on ice lately, since the plot has gone through so many changes that I haven’t known what to do with it in a while, but one of my goals with posting about it is to warm myself back up to it. I think writing that summary was a good place to start. Wish me luck :D

The Together List (TTL)

Tags: #wip: the together list #wip: TTL

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for? The world, it seems. Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear. Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships Characters: Audrey Marshall 💙, Logan Levine 🧡, Lennon Adler 💛, McKinley March 💜, Aspen Brady ❤️, Levi Jackson 💚

TTL was created on August 18, 2021. I saw a post on Pinterest of someone's summer bucket list and that sounded like such a fun thing to do with friends that I had to write about it. Two and a half-ish years later, TTL has also gone through many changes, so I'm sort of trying to refresh it now. I'm very excited to see where it takes me!

(Fun fact: the main character, Audrey, is the older sister of Trevor from NHWE!)

The Violet Sisters Club (TVSC)

Tags: #wip: the violet sisters club #wip: TVSC

Summary: The Violet Sisters Club, a world famous all-female pop rock band, is facing a very public lawsuit from a former hotheaded manager over their most recent album. Following the conclusion of their case, lead singer Naomi Tyler, drummer Inez Wilde, guitarist Chrissy Cameron, and bassist Francesca Sheridan escape to the luxurious Overlook Estate, a privately owned rental property on an island off the southern coast of California. Here, they can spend the summer out of the public eye, writing songs they don’t need to worry about releasing and letting the public wonder what they’re up to as they let the tension out of their muscles. With a property twice the size of Alcatraz Island and a beach twice as long, the Overlook offers the band a respite from the go, go, go of touring, the privacy invasion of paparazzi, and the exhaustion of being micromanaged every minute of every day. Four pools, seven hot tubs, the aforementioned private beach, a high tech recording studio (just in case), a few golf carts just to get around the property and a Jeep to get to town. It’s unimaginably expensive, it’s incomprehensibly big, and it’s everything they need. But this escape may not be the relaxing California beach paradise they imagined. Soon, it becomes hard to hide how much the stress of fame was eating away at each of them—emotions run high, patiences run thin, days run long, nights run longer, and the strength of the band is questioned as the girls’ insecurities and anxieties bubble to the surface after a lifetime in the spotlight.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, literary fiction Themes: fame, music, romance, found family, secrets, breakups Characters: Naomi Tyler (lead singer, songwriter) 💜, Inez Wilde (drummer, vocalist, songwriter) 🩷, Chrissy Cameron (guitarist, vocalist, songwriter) 💙, Francesca Sheridan (bassist, vocalist, songwriter) 💚

TVSC was created on February 5, 2023, but the characters have been around almost as long as TTL. Initially, I created the Violet Sisters Club as a fictional band that would exist within The Together List, but at some point I couldn't get the idea of a TVSC-focused novel out of my head. I'm glad I never tried, because some of my favorite ideas I've ever had have gone into TVSC. If I could have one wish, it would be for all of TVSC's songs to be real so I could listen to them without having to write them first.

Now That We Don’t Talk (NTWDT)

Tags: #wip: now that we don’t talk #wip: NTWDT

Summary: There are two important things to know about Hazel Henry and Saiah Bradford. One: They kinda-sorta hate each other after they broke up last year at prom. (The same prom that ended with the school almost burning down and Hazel's twin brother's best friend going to the hospital. Bad memories all around.) Two: Someone on the planning committee for their senior class trip must be out to get them, because when they arrive at the hotel, they find out they’ve been assigned to the same room. This should have been impossible; Saiah requested to be paired with her best friend, Tory, who's going to have some explaining to do later, and Hazel would bet her life on the fact that she requested a room alone. Now, for the next two weeks, they’re both stuck in the same narrow room with its little square bathroom and practically-nonexistent closet. The air conditioner turns on at random times, they seem to be paired together for every single scheduled activity, and perhaps worst of all—their friends all seem to find this situation absolutely hilarious. But it’s just two weeks, right? It’ll be over before they know it, and soon they can both go back to pretending their relationship—and each other—never existed. Right? Right? Happy senior year to them.

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, romance Themes: reconciliation, romance, friendship, forgiveness, guilt, regrets, family, growing up Characters: Hazel Henry 🩷, Nick Henry 💙, Saiah Bradford 💚, Tory Whitehouse 💛

NTWDT was created on October 18, 2023. Hilariously, I came up with the plot after making Hazel and Saiah in the Sims, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about them whenever I wasn't playing. As I do with every character I create, I became obsessed with them, and now here we are. And in case you're wondering, yes, I named it after the Taylor Swift song lol.

Trouble In Paradise (TIP)

Tags: #wip: trouble in paradise #wip: TIP

Summary: Sixteen years ago, Joe Alexander and Ben King drove across the US in the pursuit of Joe's true love. Today, Joe is preparing to move out of his and his ex-wife's house and drive across the country once more, joined by his daughter, Bryce, and his best friend/his daughter's biological father, Ben. It's all familiar—the long stretches of empty fields, collapsing onto a cheap hotel bed for the night, never being able to decide where to stop for food—and yet, Joe has no idea what he's in for. This is a story of two cross-country road trips, and the lives that one woman is able to ruin in between. Joe Alexander and Ben King have both lost their entire worlds to Lilly Alexander. But the ones they’ve gained after her might be—in some weird, unconventional way—a little better.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, adult fiction, literary fiction Themes: reconciliation, moving on, guilt, parenting, cheating, manipulation, mental illness, sexual abuse Characters: Joe Alexander, Ben King, Bryce Alexander, Lilly Alexander

TIP is technically my newest WIP, since I came up with the full plot just last month (February 13, 2024). I've had the vague idea of it for just over a year, but I didn't quite know what to do with it until recently. It's definitely more mature with its topics than my other wips (as you might be able to tell by the themes), but I really like the concept and I've had a lot of fun plotting it so far, even if it's a little out of my comfort zone.

(Fun fact: the original title way back when the characters didn't even have last names was High Infidelity, after the Taylor Swift song, since I thought it was so thematically appropriate.)

···

OKAY I'm pretty sure I have officially run out of things to say. If you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading! Like I said earlier, feel free to interact any way you like :D

This post is sort of a masterpost for all my wips, but I'm also considering doing posts for each wip separately so I can go into more detail. That'll be later though.

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/night !!

―BlueIndigo <3

#writeblr intro #writeblr #writing #writers on tumblr #wip intro

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threadsun · 8 months

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Content: abuse, manipulation, intoxication, dubcon/noncon, dad kink/incestplay, honestly idk how to describe this other than that it's fucked up

Thinking about Jean and Ian in the Ian's Dad AU and I can’t stop thinking about how messed up it is from Ian’s perspective!! Like imagine…

Look, you've spent 18 years being raised by your abusive single mother. She never gave you love, you were never enough for her, she made you feel guilty about everything. Getting gifts, having sexual urges, being queer. She never let you have your freedom, always trying to control your every move and keeping an eye on you.

You live in a big mansion in the rich part of town, but she refuses to spend any more than necessary on you. She doesn’t let you meet your rich neighbours because she’s worried you’ll befriend them and they’ll lead you astray. And she’s always telling you horror stories about the actor who lives next door. About how he doesn't care about anything, how he's a sexual deviant, how he spends lavishly unlike your mother's painful frugality. Everything she says to try to keep you away from him only makes him sound better. He sounds like the friend you never had and the dad you always wanted, and he’s an actor like you want to be on top of everything!

And when you turn 18 and enter your rebellious phase... well, look. You know he's famous. You know he’s probably been warned away from talking to you by your mother (really, you can't blame him for listening, knowing what she's like). And you know he probably doesn't want his neighbour’s kid just calling him up out of the blue. But... you've gotta try! This is your one chance at having a mentor for your acting! And maybe a father-figure too…

And when you reach out and actually get a response? When he wants to meet you? It's like you're in a dream. You meet up with him and he's... really cool! Super nice, laid back, interested in you. He asks all the right questions, learns about you, listens to you vent about your home life. He tells you stories about his work and gives you advice about becoming an actor.

And he's... well, look, you've never been able to explore sexual attraction, especially not towards men. And he's everything you want to be! All the parts of yourself you actually like seem to be so prominent in him. All the things that your mother hates. It's all him! And sure you feel a little weird about it, I mean you’ve only just met the guy. But... he’s so welcoming and kind. You're an adult, and for the first time in your life you’re feeling appreciated... And god he's so nice and generous when he takes you under his wing, showering you with gifts and taking you out to fancy places and encouraging your rebellion rather than stifling it.

Sure, he's a little more handsy than you'd expected a mentor to be. Little pats on the ass or pecks on the lips. But, well, he's French. That's just what they're like! So of course you're going to move in with him when he offers you a spare room at his place so he can mentor you more often. It's even nicer than your mother's house and he's not always hovering around. He lets you do whatever you please when you’re not learning from him and he never monitors you. You can go out with friends and invite people over and lock your door so you can jack off to some hentai without your mother bursting in and lecturing you about how sex is a tool of the devil!

He always encourages you to try new things. You'd always been a little curious about drugs. Nothing hard, no you're not that kind of guy. But maybe some weed? And of course your cool mentor can hook you up with some! But... he's a responsible mentor. He tells you that you can smoke but your first time has to be with only him. So you don't get too high or taken advantage of. And you trust him, of course you trust him, he's given you every reason to!

So you let him set the mood. Low lights, flickering candles, some weird artsy movie on the massive tv in the lounge, plenty of snacks (oysters, chocolate covered strawberries, even some alcohol but you're pretty sure that's just for him. He wouldn't get you crossfaded for your first time...), and the fattest blunt you've ever seen. Also the only blunt you've ever seen so... really, when he assures you it's perfect for a beginner, why wouldn't you trust him?

So you settle in and he lights up the blunt. He asks if you know what shotgunning is, tells you it's the best way for a beginner to get used to smoking. It's... weird. When his lips actually linger on yours more than the usual little goodbye kisses. When his tongue forces your lips apart to blow the smoke into your mouth. But... all those nerves and weird feelings settle pretty quick.

The more smoke he blows into your mouth, the more relaxed you get. The more you let him feed you snacks. The more you let his hands wander. By the time you're actually pulling from the blunt, you can barely tell which way is up. You feel him tip your head back and pour some wine into your mouth. He's always going on and on about vintages and whether or not it's dry and what aftertaste it has. But all you can ever taste is soured, bitter grapes. But this time you don't mind so much. Not when he's taking a gulp of it himself and feeding that into your mouth this time.

It's the first time you've been touched like this, kissed like this. It feels good, his soft lips on yours, the way he pays such gentle attention to you, the way he grinds on your lap and pulls your hair while forcing more smoke and alcohol into you. You're in a haze of pleasure and Jean is right there at the centre. And him being your mentor is the furthest thing from your mind.

You don't remember much about that night. Or, anything really. You wake up sore in places you've never been sore before. But also feeling blissful. Your muscles feel more relaxed than they ever have, and you don't feel the usual crushing weight of your lust hanging over your head. Jean simply smiles at you when you go into the kitchen the next morning, and asks if you enjoyed the night before. You tell him you did and he promises you two can do it more often. As a bonding experience. Maybe make it a monthly thing? You’re like a son to him, after all!

And god does that sound nice to you. Having a parental figure who wants to bond with you. A person who likes spending time with you. A person who encourages you to try new things. He promises to bring edibles as well next time, and reminds you with a wink that if you ever want to try any other drugs, he can get his hands on them for you. But, of course, same rules apply. Your first time doing them has to be with him.

Really, you're not sure why you'd want to do drugs with anyone else. You've seen the people at the parties he's taken you to, far too rowdy for your liking. So you stick to doing drugs and drinking with Jean only. It's the only time he's handsy. The only time his lips stay on yours. And you hardly remember it anyway. It all blurs together with the dreams you keep having about him. The ones that leave you in a cold sweat, with an uncomfortable boner, wondering if it's normal for people to dream about someone they see like a father whispering sweet nothings in their ear while they fuck them. You're pretty sure it's not, but... really how would you know?

And finally one sober night, you hear your door creak open. You hear footsteps, see a sliver of light from the hallway on your wall, feel someone getting into bed behind you. You move to sit up, but a warm arm wraps around you and a familiar voice whispers in your ear. Jean reassures you that it's okay, it's just him, he just wants to cuddle. And that's normal, isn't it? Fathers cuddling their sons. Sure, no matter how much you both talk about wishing you were father and son, he’s your mentor not your father. And sure, maybe you're a bit old for it even if he was your father. But it’s probably just some sort of acting thing anyway! So you settle back down and enjoy the feeling of his arms around you, trying to keep your hormones under control.

His hands wander a little, thumb rubbing circles on your hips as his lips press lightly against your neck. You have to bite your pillow to keep from whimpering, willing yourself not to make things weird. But his hand slips from your hip and curls around your hard cock and your heart drops. But he reassures you once more, just a gentle murmur in your ear, promising that it's okay. That it's perfectly natural.

His hand palms you slowly as he whispers sympathetic words about how badly your mother screwed you up and how it's up to him to make you better. How he feels so bad about your sexual repression, how he can see just how much you're suffering, that he knows how badly you need this. You're still trying to muffle your sounds with the pillow, but your hips roll against his hand and it feels so good. And he knows. He knows your mother never let you touch yourself. Never let you indulge your desires. You told him so yourself. And he promises you that it's okay. That this is healthy and normal. That she fucked you up, broke you, but he's here to fix you.

He talks to you so gently, like a wounded animal, as he helps you cum. He's so... understanding. And he reassures you that it's normal. That it's okay. That this is what fathers do for their sons. It doesn’t even strike you as odd, that he’s calling you two that. It feels right. And when you finally let out a moan and cum against his hand, making a mess of your pyjamas... he praises you. He tells you how well you did for him, what a good son you are, how happy he is to see you getting better already! And he promises to keep helping…

It happens night after night, each time something slightly different. He turns you over the next night, kisses you so sweetly that you feel like you might melt into him. His tongue is coaxing and his hands slip into your pants to touch you properly. And you wonder how you'll ever be able to touch yourself again when you know it'll never compare to his touch. Then he uses his mouth on you, shows you how skilled his tongue is down there as well. Then he's working a finger, two fingers, three into you.

He teaches you how to please him, as well. Urges you under the covers and teaches you how to go down on him without too much teeth. Trains you not to gag when he thrusts into your mouth and to swallow when he cums down your throat. He presses his cock between your thighs and fucks them so sweetly, hands groping and lips finally leaving marks on you. And then finally, he makes love to you. There's no other way to say it. It's such a sweet, soft, gentle thing. His hips rocking behind you as he spoons you, holding you to his chest and praising you for learning so fast, for being such a good boy for him. And when you feel him cum inside of you, your hips stutter into his hand and you cum too. And you feel loved for the first time in your life.

And that's when you start to learn who your mentor really is. There's no more of the coddling, the sweetness, the love. No, you're his personal free-use whore. He clicks his fingers and you get on your knees for him, ready to take whatever he has to give. He makes you call him dad, starts calling you his son. He introduces you to kinks you've never even heard of, takes all his anger out on your pretty body in the most sadistic ways, trains you into his perfect pet. He fucks you and beats you and makes you his cumdump.

And if you ever try to stop it, ever try to refuse, ever correct people who mistake you for a real father and son... he reminds you of all those nights you spent baked out of your mind. He shows you all the pictures he took of the disgusting, perverted things you let him do to you when you didn't even remember your own name. He promises to leak them to the press if you ever stop. His career is just about over, but yours? Yours is only just beginning. This could ruin you.

But... honestly? You don't want to stop. You don't want to go back to living with your mother. You don't want to return to a life where you feel guilty for wanting sex, where you never feel satisfied, where you always feel like a deviant. You don’t want to go back to not having a father. You want to be wanted by him. You want to keep feeling good, and god does he make you feel good. His insults and humiliation get you hard, but his rare praise makes you desperate to come back for more. You know it's wrong, you know he's a bad person, you know it needs to stop.

But... you don't stop it. You can't stop it. Not when it feels so... good isn't quite the right word. But it feels like everything you deserve. It's the best you'll ever get. And you need to grab onto that before it slips away.

Until. Until you make the mistake of bringing a friend over for once. You've tried to keep everyone else away from Jean. Keep him to yourself. You're not sure if it's selfish or selfless, wanting to keep that cruel attention on you alone. But you can't say no to your childhood best friend. Especially since you've been in love with them since forever. So you take the risk and let them come over, warning them away from your “dad” as many times as you possibly can.

Thankfully, the study date seems to go... well! You don't see Jean at all, and your friend doesn't mention him either. They even ask you out, and you have to get them to repeat themself a few times before it sinks in that it's real. Of course you say yes! How could you say anything else? You've wanted this since forever!

And then as you finish your shy, nervous little goodbye and watch them drive away... you feel Jean behind you. His arms settle around your waist, his chin on your shoulder, his lips brushing your ear. He tells you how nice they seem. How happy he is to see his son dating someone. How unfortunate it would be if they ever found out about your dirty little secret... But don't worry, he won't tell! For as long as you keep doing everything he asks, as long as you keep pleasing him, his lips are sealed.

#sunshine #swwsdj #something's wrong with sunny day jack #sdj jean #sdj ian #jean laurent x ian duff #Ian's Dad AU

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smallestapplin · 2 years

Note

Ingo and Emmet with out of region penpal? I can see Emmet having a friend in like a breeders message board or something similar (he needs to rant about his joltiks) and Ingo writing old fashioned letters instead of email. And when the penpal finally visits them in Unova?

Penpal: Its so nice to meet you! :)

Them: *OH NO THEY'RE HOT* 😳

Idk how you do this and not see their face first, safety first folks!

But yeah I got you!

🔲Ingo🔲

- He could say you two were childhood best friends that never met. When he was young he wanted to send a letter to a random person and hopefully make their day a little brighter, and he wanted to share a picture of his new friend, litwick!

- The letter ended up in Sinnoh and at your house. You were so in awe at the tiny candle Pokémon that you had to send a picture and letter back!

- And little Ingo was excited to see a letter and a picture of a Pokémon he’d never seen in Unova! His father said it was a Misdreavus.

- And thus your friendship started. As you two got older, you laughed at how bad he was with technology, but you were happy to stick to letters.

- You two would send pictures back and forth of your Pokémon and beautiful scenery. Which made Ingo excited! He’s never seen or been to Sinnoh before, it and your Pokémon team was always a delight to see.

- You knew his deepest darkest secrets, you knew everything about him, as he did you. You knew all his Pokémon and what they liked, you knew of his twin brother and everything they did together.

- He made sure to always write to you. Even as you two grew into adults he made sure to at least write once a week.

- Ingo couldn’t tell anyone but he felt something beyond friendship with you, what he wasn’t entirely sure, but he felt so connected with you.

- He was like a grandpa with phones, you knew this, yet when you asked him for his phone number he was curious.

- You only said ‘in case of emergencies.’

- The subway boss didn’t question it, he simply named your contact just so he’d know it was you.

- Ingo had a habit of telling you his schedule for the week or anything it might be doing, and he told you in his most recent letter he told you about a new park he was going to in the evening.

- Saying his Pokémon could use a break.

- So you made the plan.

- It was just after work for the older twin, hardly anyone was at this park. He sits on a bench, completely exhausted. Work has been rough, but at least his Pokémon get to relax too.

- Ingo grunts when his phone starts ringing, he looks at the lit screen confused.

- You were calling him?

- Quickly Ingo answers, but he’s almost afraid to speak. Would he hear your voice? What did you even sound like?

- “Hey, is that you on the bench?”

- His heart is racing, he quickly stands up and looks around and drops his phone.

- It had to be you, with a phone to your ear and your Mismagius beside you.

- “Hi Ingo! It’s nice to finally meet you!”

- You jog over the rest of the way with a smile on your face.

- “Y/n?”

- “In the flesh! This is so cool! I’m so happy I get to meet you now, I was hoping I had the right place, Unova is big!”

- You chattered away about your trip and how lovely it was here.

- But Ingo was stunned, only staring at you mouth agape. This was you, this was really you, the person he’s been talking to for over a decade.

- You squeak when you’re pulled into a hug.

- “M-my apologies! I just- this is so overwhelming, in a good way! I assure you.”

- “Man even in real life you talk all proper, it’s adorable to hear.”

- You’re so lovely, his face his bright red even as he tries to hide it behind his hat.

- He isn’t use to this, sure he’s found people visually appealing, but this was different.

- Your laugh, and your mannerisms are perfect, your outfit is perfect, the sparkle in your eyes are perfect.

- Oh he’s in love.

- He’s in love badly.

- “Is that your Chandelure? Wow! The pictures you’ve sent don’t do them justice, they are stunning! Those purple flames are just gorgeous.”

- He could say the same to you.

🔳Emmet🔳

- He just needed to ask questions and rant.

- He was in his teen years and he wanted to breed joltiks, he did as much research as possible but things kept happening, or lack there of, so he went to a messaging board to ask.

- And you responded, you DM’d him and went to work figuring out the issue. Once you boiled down to what the problem was he felt so stupid, but thanked you endlessly. You are too kind! He wanted to thank you.

- But to his surprise you told him you lived in Johto. You simply laughed at his shock and sent him a photo of your spinarak with the caption ‘this is how I knew.’

- He wanted to know everything about your friendly looking spider friend, and was even more shocked and stunned when you said the base form was a foot big!

- You two spoke well into the night (for him.) and morning for you.

- You two would constantly mess up your sleep schedules just to talk to each other more.

- You learned about everything about him, his brother, his family, his day, his Pokémon, and anything else he could think of. You learned he wasn’t a private person at a all.

- But you were happy to share too! You both had inside jokes and a plethora of memes to send to each other.

- Even as Emmet got older and started working, he’d always text you. He knew due to time zones and work you couldn’t stay up and text him like you use to, but he knew you enjoyed seeing messages from him and vice versa.

- He loved seeing your team, sometimes he’d catch a peek of your hand or everything but your face

- And Emmet will be the first to admit he’s in love.

- He tried dating as a teen and some flings but nothing ever felt right, or clicked.

- He knew it was because he was fantasizing about meeting you, hearing your voice and talking to you in person.

- You always talked about how affectionate your, now, Ariados is. He dreams of the day you two meet and your respective spiders! He thinks it would be so cute if you two started dating and then so do you spiders!

- Ingo often bangs against the wall to get Emmet to quiet down, as the younger twins squealing can be heard from miles.

- Emmet just wants to see you before he makes a move, he’s deathly afraid you two wouldn’t mesh or click as well as you two do online.

- But the day it happened he had texted you that morning that it was his day off! And he was going to go to his favorite outdoor café and try one of their new menu items.

- He ordered his overtly sweet triple chocolate cake slice and left to sit outside. Since it’s early on a work day not a lot of people were here, just after the early morning work rush.

- It was nice to just sit outside with Galvantula and eat his cake slice in peace.

- Until his phone vibrated, he knew it you based on the pattern.

- He took his phone out and saw an image attachment.

- ‘This you, nerd?”

- It was a picture of him from the back, it was obviously him cause his Galvantula in the photo has a messy face from their own meal, just like right now.

- He heard your snort when he shot up from his seat, chair falling in the process.

- Unlike you, who didn’t get to process anything before you were straight up tackled by the affectionate man.

- “It’s you! It’s really you!”

- Your Ariados chitters happily at your excited laughters.

- “I know right!? I remember you talking about this place all the time and I thought I’d surprise you!”

- Emmet just swigs and sways you in his arms, bouncing around exclaiming about how excited he is.

- “Oh I’ve waited for this moment! I have so many gifts I’ve saved up to give you, and there are so many things we can do! And your laugh is verrrry cute! I like it, I wanna hear more of it today!”

- He has you stuttering.

- “Oh sweet treats, you actually say that out loud too, that’s so fucking cute.” You wheeze, laughing at how stupid yet adorable it was.

- Now he’s the one blushing and swooning.

- You have no right winning his heart so easily!

#long post #pokemon #pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader #pokémon #pokemon ingo #pokemon fluff #pokemon ingo x reader #pokemon emmet #pokemon emmet x reader #pokemon submas

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callmeana2310 · 2 years

Text

Old Friends (Pt. 2/?) - College!Nick Nelson x female!Reader

Parts : Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Pairing: College!Nick Nelson x female!Reader

Warnings: light cussing, LGBTQAI+, non-native in English! (Lemme know any mistakes, especially if anything is offensive in the slightest ways!!!)

Topics: friendship, crush, old friends meet again, college, bisexuals, music, soft, young adults, growing up, cute cuddly Nick Nelson

Summary: After years the reader meets Nick Nelson at a LGBTQAI+ college party. They knew each other from Truham and Higgs and (Y/N) remembers her crush on him.

Word count: 1,851

Note: This is for the 20+ gang who also loved Heartstopper. Nick is in his mid 20s and the reader in her early 20s!

(not my picture. All rights belong to the owner.)

Old Friends - All Grown Up

Shortly after leaving the party, my phone vibrates. A message on Instagram. It is Nick. To my surprise, he is still following me and he asks me to check in with him when I get home safely. I bite my lower lip, trying to hide the huge smile. "What's up with the smiley face Y/N/N?", Nicole asks. "Nothing! That party was just great...", I mumble the last sentence. "Uh-uh! She means that hot redhead was great. But you can thank me later for dragging you to that party!", Emily laughs. "I know him from before University... we are...just old friends", I defend myself. The girls laugh, in unison. "Just friends, huh? I don't believe that!", says Emily. They pick on me for a little longer until they are distracted by a group of people walking by we know. I keep quiet for the rest of the way and say goodbye when we arrive at my flat. I make my way up to the third floor, unlock the door, kick off my shoes, put my hair up in a bun and immediately head for the fridge grabbing a cool drink and some grapes. My social battery is dead for now. I sit down on my kitchen floor opening Instagram, again, smiling like an idiot.

Nick Nelson

Hi you! Let me know when you're home safe?

Y/N Y/L/N

Hi! I'm home now 😮‍💨 Are you still at the party?

Nick Nelson

Nah, left shortly after you were gone!

It was really lovely to see you again ☺️

Hope we'll see each other on campus..

Y/N Y/L/N

Let me know when you're home safe? 😁

tbh? I'd be mad if we don't!

Gonna have a word with Darcy and Tara! Can't believe they never said anything!

Nick Nelson

Right?! What did I do?🥺

Cheesy! I'm home now 😝

Y/N Y/L/N

Idk must have done something!🤷🏻‍♀️

That's great! I'm heading to bed now. Sleep well xx

Nick Nelson

Yeah, me too. Goodnight ☺️

I only saw the last message as a notification on my lock screen while walking to the bathroom. I get rid of my clothes, put on a large sleeping shirt, and battle my hair once again before washing my make-up off and then heading for my bedroom, throwing myself at the bed. I take my phone and read Nick's last message again. I haven't thought about high school or him in a long time. Sure, when seeing Tara and Darcy we're reminiscing about the "good old days" every now and then, but we barely do that anymore. I finished high-school four years ago but after that, my life changed so drastically that it feels way further into the past. The first year after high school I stayed home with my parents, worked for some time and then travelled around Europe for quite some time. Then, two years ago, I started studying here at the University and therefore officially moved out.

I softly shake my head, trying to think of something else. I turn off my lights, crawl under the blanket and make sure to turn off all my alarms so I can just sleep in. After starting some light instrumental music with a timer which stops the music in two hours, I put my phone away and try to find a comfy position to sleep in. Closing my eyes I feel it spinning, I quite had some drinks. Hoping the spinning might lull me into sleep, but my thoughts prevent that. My brain feels the urge to get updated on Nick's life. How is his family? Nellie? Whom is he still friends with? Who are his new friends? What music is he into? Before my brain can fully spiral in those thoughts I give in and open Insta again. I avoid opening his last message but I go on his profile and scroll through his pictures and get some answers to the previous questions. Silly little girl stalking her old crush... After a while, I feel my eyes falling shut a few times and before I could know I am asleep.

Wednesday - 4 days after the party

"Ugggh! This is so boring!", I groan very quietly. Lily next to me looks at me in disbelief. "Don't be so loud! They'll kick us out if you're rude!", she hisses at me. I laugh softly, "By now I really wish they'd finally do it..." All my friends around me laugh as quietly as possible, but our professor in the front still shoots us a warning glance. I really try to focus on what is being said in the front, but it is impossible. First lectures at the beginning of a semester are always the same; the professors tell stories about their time at university, they rant about how undisciplined and lazy a lot of students are, then they read out their syllables and go back to ranting. My phone vibrates.

Nick Nelson

Where are you spending your lunchtime?

The menu in the cafeteria is horrible!🤢

Y/N Y/L/N

The menu today is shit!

We're gonna eat at the Chinese restaurant down the street!

Nick Nelson

Is that place good?

Y/N Y/L/N

😍HELL YES! BEST FRIED RICE IN TOWN!

You wanna come? I'm sure the girls won't mind!

Nick Nelson

Sure! You had me at "fried rice"!🤤

Y/N Y/L/N

😂😂😂

Meet me at the main entrance of the philology department

Lecture is done in 40mins

Nick Nelson

🙌🏻 I'll see you in 40!

I look up from my phone, trying to catch up with what is being said. "Did you win the Lottery? Are de finally redeemed? Let's leave!" I hear Vivian to my right site. "What?", I whisper without looking at her. "You smiled at your phone like crazy!", she says while nudging me with her elbow. "Was I?" Lily on the other side laughs a little too loud. We ear another glance. "Hell yes! Are you writing with that hot redhead again?", Lily whispers cautiously while making sure our professor doesn't get disturbed by her again. I roll my eyes in response. "So it is him!", Vivian exclaims. "He has a name. And yes, I was texting him... He'll join us for lunch. But I wasn't smiling.." Emily who sits behind me bends over "The hot rugby guy? Is he joining us? Hell yes!" I laugh slightly over their reactions. Oh lord!

After 40 minutes which felt like hours, we finally leave the lecture hall, gathering outside and exchanging numbers for study groups. I look around to find Nick. A bit further away I see him walking towards us, his right hand reaches up to wave at me. "Nick!" I shout the moment I see him wandering around the space in front of my lecture hall, waving to make sure he sees us. "He had a bi bracelet, right?" Lily asked waving too, "How do you know the rugby captain?". "We went to school together", I reply. Nick arrives with a big smile on his face. "Hi!", he says while hugging me. "Hi" I mumble while enjoying his warm hug. I see the glances of my girlfriends while we part. He turns to the group, waving at them and greeting them all at once. "So... Where's that magical place you told me about?" he asks while turning back to me. "Just follow us handsome!" one of my friends responds. Nick chuckles slightly. I gesture him to follow her lead, laughing about his slightly flushed face. Nothing changed...

"How's the first week back at campus going?", Nick asks while we wait to be seated. "The usual... lecturers trying to explain how studying works... without really knowing the requirements" I groan. He laughs at my statement. "Yeah... I'm in my 7th semester now and they still do that!" "Whyyy tho?" He just shrugs his shoulders in response.

The moment we sit down my friends attack him with questions. I mostly just listen to the conversation because I know most of the answers. Vivian suddenly laughs loudly grabbing everyone's attention. "Omg! Y/N! Nick! You were so cute back then!" "Huh?", Nick and I both look at her. She turns her phone so we can see old newspaper articles about our school sports days. The other girls try to get a good look too. They look at us, comparing us now and then. I slowly sink into my seat. Nick just laughs and earns compliments. I mean, he literary only looks younger and slimmer. Whereas I look like kids looked back in the 2010s. I had small, very unflattering glasses; braids on both sides, my hair stuck up in every direction, my head was red from the exercise in the early summer heat and I wore old, weird and way too small clothes. "Girl! You had the glow-up of the century! You looked terrible!" one of the girls laughs. "Well.. thanks..." I snip back at her. Nick looks at me, softly shaking his head at the comments, giving me a cheering smile. The waiter bringing our food saved me from further comments and the topic is off the table for now. The girls continue attacking him with questions, this time about his rugby career and his studies. I focus on my food, trying to stand above the rather hurtful comments from before.

Part of the group left directly after they finished their lunch since they had classes afterwards. The rest of us leaves the restaurant together. "Sooo! This was fun! We should definitely do this again!" Lily smiles at Nick. "Yeah...sure", he nods. "We are going downtown, will you come?" Vivian asks. "Nah... I need some stuff from the library. Have fun" he denies their request with a polite smile. "I'm heading in the same direction! See ya!" I say before saying goodbye to them. Nick and I walk back to campus, not talking much, but the silence isn't awkward at all. He starts giggling "Fuck! What year were those pictures from? Can we sue the schools?" I laugh at his question. "I wish! That picture of me is a crime!" "I mean, it is so 2010s but it is also very cute!" he claims, looking at me with wrinkles around his eyes since he is smiling so brightly. I automatically smile back at him before shaking my head in disagreement. "No! That's as far from cute as possible!" I pause for a moment, before continuing "But honestly? I haven't thought about my school time like that in a long time." He nods "Yeah, crazy times! I miss home and the old times sometimes.." I shrug, "I like it here too much to miss home." We arrive at the library. "My books are on the third floor", I explain. "Mine are on the fourth", Nick says and smiles. "I guess I'll see you?", I ask. "You definitely will", he says while pulling me in for a hug. I hug him back, again, enjoying his warmth.

'Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be And in your heat I feel how cold it can get Hold me in this wild, wild, world - Warmth, Bastille

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