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#dick is the mom
dc-and-damirae · 1 month
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new head cannon
talia goes to gotham to spend time with damian but he is no longer intrested in their normal forms of family bonding (Crime). So she lets him info dump to her about his new hobby crime fighting and he goes along with it. so she teams up with the batfam for a week and a half before going back.
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redactedrem · 2 months
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
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emilyaxford · 8 months
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arrowheadedbitch · 8 months
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Dick: Okay, now we can begin
Damian: Wait, where is father?
Tim: Is he making out with Catwoman again?
Dick: Wh- no-
Jason: I am NOT calling her mom
Dick: Guys-
Tim: You don't even call Bruce dad!
Dick: Guys, let's focus-
Jason: My point still stands.
Damian: IMBECILES! Grayson is trying to speak
Dick: Yes, thank you damian. Bruce isn't here because he has league business
Tim: Oh, so he's fucking wonder woman
Jason: NO!
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ghostbsuter · 9 months
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There was a teen in the cave.
A teen no one knows and looks like he could be a wayne, stands in the cave.
"Actually, I'm a wayne." He says with a shrug.
Bruce, Batman, carefully thinks of the implication.
"Not yet," The teen, Danny, doesn't say anything. Simple smiles. "You're not a wayne, yet. You will be. But not yet."
Then Bruce sighs, dropping the batman mask in order to take in the teen.
"Does future me know of the time travel?"
Dannys smile grows into a grin, deciding to take pity on the man. "You, grandbat, have..." He makes a vague gesture. "Theories, which none of your children ever confirmed."
The bat's mind short-circuits at the choice of words
Dick is sputtering incomprehensibly, there are Baffled expression all around.
Because.
Because that child isn't Bruce's, but one of theirs.
"Who is it?" Jason demands, hand clenching his gun uselessly.
Danny continues to smile, a hint of mischief now peeking out.
The cave is filled with theories, some yell, some sob, yet all eyes leave danny.
All but one pair.
She had known the moment his body language switched just enough for her to read.
She had known the moment he disappeared before the clan.
Had known when his hand found hers, shoulders bumping.
Her heart clenches, throat dry and memories of her childhood flooding to mind.
So she asks, voice soft and hesitant.
"Am I a good mother?"
And danny looks up at cass, adoration and pride laid out plain for her to see and accept.
"You're the best."
And so they both watch the clan together, silent and comfortable.
(Cass doesn't question when she finds him, how and why. All she knows is that she's more attentive when out on patrol, looking and waiting.)
(This is how Cassandra Cain-Wayne returns one night from patrol, a child, barely out of toddler stage and clinging to her form.)
(This is how the Batclan officially meets one Daniel James Cain-Wayne, freshly washed and clothed, a cookie in hand and hiding shyly behind Cass.)
(When they meet, all they say is "Welcome home, danny," and "Good to see you again.", Danny doesn't necessarily get it, but that's okay. Maybe his new mom will explain it one day when he's bigger.)
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lygma-nygma · 1 month
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Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.
#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family#after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay#like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad#Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin#He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce#He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom#The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole#Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3#Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less??#He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette#Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store#and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him#Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have#Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma#Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens#That’s the tragedy. The drama.#Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones#It was inevitable#Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne
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doc-anders · 1 year
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Cassandra: “Sir, Superman is on line one.”
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hello-eden · 15 days
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dcxdp #33
I am back to continue the de Aged Ellie and Dan, a child of Danny and a bat boy agenda. this time with dick Grayson.
Ellie and Dan de-stabilized to a core form. Danny is of course panicking trying to figure out how to bring them back but they're safe for now. Clockwork tells him that he needs to incubate the cores himself but that it's going to take a lot of energy and that it's probably not safe for him at this moment. Clockwork sends Danny to the DC dimension to have a calmer time away from all the fighting and to make sure he can recover mentally and physically from everything that's happening in Amity. It basically turns into a summer holiday away from home/ vacation.  
Dan needed more than just Danny's DNA to stabilize Due to Dan being a hybrid of Danny and Vlad originally, so Clockwork sent Danny to the dimension to pick a donor not that Danny knew that. Danny decided to incubate both cores at the same time so that biological change also happened to Ellie. 
Danny meets dick while he is there and has a cute Summer Fling with him while he's in that dimension. In dicks timeline he's in the range of still being Robin or just going out to bludhaven. Danny starts incubating the cores while in the DC dimension around dick mostly because he knows it's safe for him there. 
He has one human doctor's appointment there and then goes back to his dimension for the rest of the technical pregnancy. Dick has no idea about Ellie or Dan as well as no idea about Danny being from another dimension. The two of them had a civilian Romance.
Danny later returns to the DC Dimension with Ellie and Dan years later after having a very bad run in with the GIW. All of them are recovering and Danny accidentally runs into dick. Danny doesn't know that due to being around dick in the start of the pregnancy caused a lot of changes in Elie and Dan's biology.
Danny and dick See each other a couple of times like going for a coffee before dick finds out that Danny has kids. Danny not knowing the kids are dick’s doesn't feel like it's relevant to tell him especially after the very bad run in with GIW which makes him overprotective.
The kids would be about 6 or 7. 
Dick meets the kids and does a little bit of mental math realizing that there is a possibility the kids are his. He is in denial for a moment thinking that Danny would tell him if they were his especially now that they've talked again but then he does research. He doesn't find anything on Danny except for the one doctor's appointment from when he was still in the dimension last for pregnancy. The doctor was heavily liminal so they understood what they needed to for pregnancies but they also did it in human terms to stop anyone from realizing the pregnancy is different on file. this definitely freaks out dick because they were still seeing each other when they went to the doctor.
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ghost-bxrd · 4 months
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Prompt:
Dick and Bruce never had their falling out and Robin passed peacefully from Dick to Jason upon his adoption.
It was harmonious. It was great. Jason didn’t only get a dad out of jacking the batmobile’s tires, he got Dick, too. Some weird cross between goofy older brother and protective mom. Dick and Bruce have an actual fight about which of them gets to legally adopt him.
So when Jason dies and comes back to life, his single minded focus isn’t only on returning to Bruce. It‘s also set on returning to Dick.
Meanwhile, Jason‘s death absolutely destroyed Dick.
And now there’s a madman with a red helmet running the streets of Blüdhaven and Gotham City who thinks it’s okay to call him “mom” and Dick hasn’t been this pissed since he found out about Joker‘s continued survival.
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dc-and-damirae · 1 year
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raven: I don't like bugs. damain, are you even listening to me? damian: I seem to have misplaced my ant farm. raven, at dick: MOOOOOM!
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bruciemilf · 11 months
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Thinking about the Batkids being clingy to Bruce.
Do you ever get that untamable tsunami of tears when you're apart from your parent? Even if you fight, and argue, and resent eachother sometimes, but when they're not next to you you feel like a part of you is missing?
It's like that.
Dick cries after Bruce every single night when he moves to Bludhaven. They're both trapped in a game of who'll call first, despite knowing very well neither of them will.
Yes, he's crushing it as Nightwing. Yes, he's doing what Bruce thought him to do, -- be better than Batman. Yes, he's perfectly normal about his Tati being so far away from him. He is.
Jason? Jason misses Bruce when they're in the same room together. He'll sit awake in the breath of night, his phone in hand, crying after Bruce after a single day.
This is for the angst side.
On the other side, Jason who begs Bruce to let him join Diana on this year's Amazonian Olympics, and having to pretend he's not crying in his pillow every night? Please.
Bruce: Are you having fun?
Jason, sending a puffy eyed selfie, looks like he cried all night: You're not here, so yes
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batfamgalore · 7 months
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Jason: Oh my god, can I kill him!
Dick: No.
Jason: Can I at least slash his tires?
Dick: Okay.
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emo-batboy · 1 year
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I GIVE YOU a totally real list of viral photos of Battinson with his newly adopted son, Dick Grayson, that took Gotham by storm
Bruce crossing the street with a rosy-cheeked Dick Grayson dutifully holding his hand, Dick somehow found the camera and is waving to it excitedly (this is the first ever photo of them together)
Dick balanced perfectly at the top (and I mean on top) of a jungle gym while Bruce looks stressed out of his mind, pleading for Dick to get down before he hurts himself
Dick doing the exact same thing a month later but this time Bruce looks completely unfazed, sipping a coffee like it’s just a normal Tuesday (the photos are regularly paired together as a popular meme template in Gotham)
A selfie of Bruce and Dick making stupid faces at the camera that Dick turned into his class for one of those “About Me” posters you make in 3rd grade
Dick asleep in Bruce’s arms after a fancy dinner party, they’re wearing matching suits, Bruce is kissing his forehead :(
Bruce and Dick propped up against a wall, sharing a packet of fruit snacks in an empty room next to the charity gala they’re supposed to be attending
A plethora of photos of Dick climbing on top of Bruce at inopportune moments (à la this post)
Including a press conference.
And an investors’ meeting (bring your kid to work day)
Bruce standing outside of Gotham Elementary holding Dick in his arms with matching scowls on their faces. A mother and her son have been cropped out after the boy shoved Dick, and the mother refused to make him apologize. (It almost got physical. The mom has since quit the PTA.)
Bruce and Dick wearing matching sunglasses on the Gotham pier, Bruce is sipping another coffee while Dick eats from a comically large ice cream cone. A second photo shows Dick offering some to Bruce, which he accepts
Bruce retying Dick’s tie in the middle of another charity gala (for the children’s hospital)
Dick doing a cartwheel in the park while Bruce looks at him with the fondest look humanly possible
Bruce and Dick in a convenience store at 10pm (on a Friday) wearing matching oversized Nirvana shirts and pajama pants, it looks like they’re having a movie marathon (it’s Grey Ghost reruns <3)
pspspspsps @bruciemilf
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astorianyxkings · 7 months
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The first time Selina saw tiny Dick Grayson as Robin her first initial thought was "Oh a new kitten," come to find out her new kitten can freaking fly and is actually Batman's batling.
She tries to corner him once or twice, just to make sure he's okay being Batman's sidekick and baby Dick is just like "???".
Bruce starts to realize what's up so whenever he needs to distract Catwoman, he just sends Robin to charm and disarm. Selina can't plan a heist if she's busy wondering about whether or not Batman's feeding him enough.
Dick eventually catches on and is just like "guess I have a mom now too." Does he sometime have to foil her plans? Yes but technically all kids do that. Does he mediate when Bat and Cat don't wanna talk to each other? Yes but so do children of divorce.
Selina's conflicted because she really likes the kid but she's got no idea who he is. Until, she's undercover at a Wayne Gala (gotta see what Brucie has that can go) and sees this tiny kid with a scruff of dark hair and a blinding smile running around followed by his exasperated father trying to reign him in and she has an "oh shit" moment.
Bruce isn't exactly sure she knows. Well obviously he knows that Selina Kyle is Catwoman and Dick knows because there's no keeping anything from his son. But "entrepreneur" Selina Kyle is suddenly not only interested in working with WE but also interest in his son's school play.
Dick is absolutely delighted. He begged Bruce to bring her to said play and when she shows up he's all smiles. Selina is thrilled, the teachers are confused because they didn't know he had a mother. It doesn't help that from afar he looks like the perfect combination of Selina and Bruce.
Selina babysat at the manor a few times and when Bruce returns to nothing stolen, he agrees to but her down as an emergency contact for Dick's school.
The only thing she worries about is keeping him away from his aunts. Mostly because one actively drugs his dad with flowers and the other's dating the Joker and if she's his aunt there's no way the clown would be his uncle. Dick understands but is confused because it seems to him that his aunts should just date each other. Selina feels vindicated.
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flamingpudding · 1 month
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I'm so sorry I didn't get to finish but as Dan's Teekl is a Phoenix snake and he takes after Vlad since of dressing
When something big is going on the magical world and they need King Phantom's help he decides to bring along his children this is how the Justice League finds out just like Robin is a past dumb title so is Klarion all the Justice League deal with a bunch of hyper up chaotic children who have been antiheroes let's find out
I wanted this to be just like a we are robbing thing except with Clarion all of them showing off the fact that Teekl have never been a cat would be so funny to me
Anywho I haven't been able to come up with anymore ideas for Dan is Klarion but I did come out with this one hope you find it funny sorry that I messed up on the first part of the writing
Okay... so version one got deleted, per my rant post notices... so here is version two hopes to that it will still be as good... also... i didn't remember how I ended this the first time soooooo yea... sorry again for having messed up in between...
[Link to the first part of the Ask here!]
I hope this will still be as enjoyable....
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Vlad didn't regret a lot of things but he regretted having told Bruce Wayne that he had a way of summoning the Ghost King. Why you ask? Because Bruce Wayne apparently leaked that information to the Justice League.
Well originally Vlad had told Bruce only about this because he was after the deal he had wanted for years with Wayne Enterprise. That man had been able to avoid Vlad for years now, and during his years when he hadn't been a redeemed man it had infuriated him.
But he was a redeemed man now. He had reformed his entire Company and since Wayne Enterprise was contracted with the Justice League, he had felt it was appropriate to boost that his Company had valuable connections too.
He also just wanted to rub it into Brucie Waynes face that he wasn't the only one with big name Hero / other worldly connections department. Okay it might have been a bit of an ego thing left. But he was a redeemed man.
And because he was a redeemed man he had not used his ghost powers to throw Batman out of the window the hero had used to barge into his hotel room at 3 -goddamn- AM only to demand the method on how to summon the ghost king.
No sir, Vlad was a redeemed man, he was nice now, a good guy.
He only grumbled and demanded the reason, which apparently was a demonic thread to the magical world that indirectly could wipe out the entire world itself. Great, little badger will not be amused hearing about that.
Daniel would be cross with him for using the summoning stone in the middle of the night but Batman was giving him a valid reason to use it. Surely Daniel would understand right? Plus Vlad could use that as change to see the little badger again. It had been a while since he last saw him.
Well Vlad regretted agreeing with Batman with the condition that he would be the one to do the summoning. That man in a bat suit did not hesitate to drag Vlad with him then bringing him, blindfolded mind you, to a place where he then was faced with several heroes, including but not limited to the Justice league.
Just great.
At least Vlad got to inform Danial about the situation and the reason for his summon as Ghost King via summoning stone, even if that blond British man had scoffed when he saw Vlad pulling it out, about the situation and what the little badger could expect the moment he stepped out of a portal.
What Vlad did not expect were several RED portals opening and similarly dressed young adults as well as one teen stepping out of them.
"Sup old man! Mom told us you called him about some world ending problem!" Dan greeted him in his Klarion get up, perfectly styled hair and his ghost pet, a phoenix snake, Snape (yes Dan named his pet after a mage from a wizard movie series) on his shoulders. Vlad could feel the distinctive illusion magic around the pet and he was pretty sure everyone without ghost powers were not able to see through it.
"KLARION?!" One of the present heroes yelled.
And of course all of the kids had to answer in reflect turning to where the voice came from at the same time.
"Yea"
There was a brief moment of silence in which Vlad face palmed.
"Ah sorry, that was on reflex. Old habits die hard!" Ellie laughed, she had grown into a young woman and was currently wearing what looked like a black suit crossed with a 90s style witch dress.
"I am the current Klarion, lose that fucking habit already." Dan grumbled annoyed as he crossed his arms glaring at every sibling that had answered to his alias.
"I am telling mom you cussed." Ellie instead grinned instead, before she looked around for a moment before her eyes landed on Nightwing, her face instantly lighting up. "ROBIN! I mean Nightwing! I haven't seen you in ages!"
"Do I know you?" Vlad could feel sorry for the hero, but these where the phantom kids, so he wasn't in the slightest and he was still cross with he heroes for waking him up at 3AM!
"I am hurt! Don't you recognise me!" Ellie gasped and Dan unashamedly elbowed her for acting so familiar.
"Misrule." He warned her. Ellies current Anti-Hero -Chaos Agent- Alias Vlad remembered. A name she specifically chose because it sounded like Miss Rule and she knew that the word play would annoy Nabu. That girl had some serious beef with the Ancient of Order.
"Oh shush little brother! Let me reconnect with the kids I used to mess with!" She shushed Dan ruffling his hair and nearly messing up his horned hairstyle, before turning back to Nightwing. "Don't you remember my lovely Armadillos? Though I only know you were the Robin I first meet because I looked into Grandpa Clock's time mirrors..."
There was a brief moment of silence on the other side where the heroes stood and Vlad swore he could have heard a pin needle drop.
"Oh god..." One of them finally spoke up as apparently some kind of realisation sunk into the heroes. But before Ellie could add anything more the one Vlad recognised as Red Robin cut in.
"Klarion is like Robin!"
"RR what are you...?"
"The title of Klarion got passed down like Robin!"
There was another brief moment of silence before Dan, Ellie and the rest of their siblings burst out laughing.
"It took you idiots this long to see that?!" Dan called them out, laughing as he hugged Snape.
Vlad would probably feel sorry for the entirety of the heroes before him if he wasn't amused by this himself, even he had seen the differences whenever 'Klarion' got passed on.
"For your information, I was the first Klarion, so i could mess with Nabu." Ellie grinned. "I was also the one that used a bit to much eyeliner."
"I never got the the horned hairstyle right."
"I was the one with a fancy black suit."
One by one the phantom kids listed of all the differences in their versions of Klarion until they all looked towards the youngest Dan, the current Klarion.
"What?" He grumbled as his elder siblings grinned at him.
"Fucking fine. I use a suit similar to the old man's style and I like to do more than just mess with Nabitch." He muttered after enduring his siblings stares for.
"And you cuss." Ellie grinned brightly causing the rest of the siblings to to chuckle.
Vlad recognised the look in Dan's eyes and before the kids could break out into an argument or a brawl, depending how violent Dan was feeling, he coughed loudly to get noticed by everyone.
"World threatening situation." He reminded everyone. "Where is your mother? The Ghost King?"
"Oh Mom is already dealing with the situation." Dan shrugged. "We more or less came to watch and see the heroes suck and fail at 'Order' to rub it into Nabitch's face."
Vlad really wanted to scowl the kids and he was going to but then the heroes cut in again.
"Can we get back to the thing about Klarion being a title passed down like Robin? With how many different Klarions did we have to deal with over the years!?"
"Red Robin not the right time..."
"Yes the right time! So many comments from Klarion make sense now! Like the first time he went right up into my face!"
"Red Robin!"
"Oh that was still me! The first Klarion!"
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hood-ex · 1 month
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TT constantly bringing this up is funny, actually. He wants to make absolutely sure that we all know Dick has 3 dads and not 2 dads + a grandfather.
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Nightwing (Vol. 4) #113
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