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#dc by night
klimtsonian · 8 months
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NPCs for my VTM game 🧛🏻🏛️🩸✨
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frownyalfred · 6 months
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Imagine being Alfred during Batman Begins when Bruce leaves to “find himself.” Alfred is worried, but reminds himself that all rich men do this and he’s probably just going to come back as a worldly, obnoxious vegetarian. Then Bruce shows up several years later buff as hell and it’s like no, he’s a ninja. he’s a ninja and he wants to terrorize Gotham in a bat costume.
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disco-troy · 6 months
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IS HE WEARING A JACKET
OVER HIS OUTFIT
THAT LOOKS THE SAME
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violent138 · 17 days
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HC that Bruce is often tired when he takes press conferences/interviews bright and early and guesstimates the number of kids he has: "5 boys and 2 girls. Wait no, that doesn't sound right, 7 boys and 3 girls. Actually, sorry 9 girls. Final answer." *drinks water* "Oh wait--"
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oifaaa · 2 months
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Fuck your insomniac Tim Drake head canons instead join my team and start pushing the idea that Tim actually has narcolepsy boy can't stop himself from falling asleep even if he wanted to
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bbbbbbbbatman · 4 months
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Clark, after he and Bruce start dating: *assumes that Bruce would scoff at cuddling and mentally forming an intricate 30 step plan to slowly coax Bruce into cuddling over time so that eventually they can cuddle while sleeping when they start staying over*
Bruce, the very first time Clark stays the night: *sprawled on top of him, head cushioned on Clark’s comfy and squishy pecks, drooling slightly*
Clark, holding back tears of joy: 🥹
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blackbatbbg · 5 months
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This will never not be fouly funny.
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nerdpoe · 3 months
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Damian didn't mean to. But looking at the horror on Batman's face, he also knows it doesn't matter.
Someone had managed to sneak up on him, immediately after a fight.
Damian, exhausted and wounded and ever so slightly drugged by fear toxin, reacted.
He'd spun around and run his katana through the attacker-but it wasn't an attacker. It was a civilian, who was staring down at the sword in his chest with a stunned expression.
The civilian looked up, blue eyes meeting Damian's through the mask.
"I was just..." The man trails off, dropping the first-aid kid he'd been carrying.
Damian knows his time as Robin is over.
Danny, on the other hand, can already feel his healing factor trying to kick in, and just needs to figure out how to convince Robin to remove the Katana so it can work without letting Batman know he's a meta.
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flamingpudding · 4 months
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Guys it's just merch
Danny watched with a smile hidden behind his mug of hot cocoa his new family. Originally he was only going to mess with them a little, since he wanted to keep his civilian live he gained with them but at the same time wanted to kind of provoke them to tell him about their night time jobs on their own.
Not like he could just flat out tell them he knew about their vigilantes lifes and that would be embarrassing to explain.
It's not every day that Danny's powers fluked on him, but with the stress of the past months, it happened. Right at a moment, he had to be clumsy and trip over his own feet and accidentally phased through a grandfather's clock, finding a hidden passage. Well at least he learned that way that Batman hadn't placed him with some other rich fruitloop that wasn't his godfather but well... with Batman himself and his family out of mask.
Yeah no, he did not want to explain that and hoped they would do that themselves. But apparently, they took Danny's statement of wanting a normal life a bit too serious.
Which brought him back to his current entertainment in the form of messing with his siblings.
"I don't get what the problem is guys. It's just merch." He chuckled slightly at the face Damian was making. While Jason chose to kick Tim under the table.
"Soooo how much merch on Red Robin do you have with this shirt now?" Dick asked instead with a bright smile, Danny still hadn't figured out how to tell what emotion he hid behind them sometimes.
"I think this is my third shirt of him." Danny mused, placing his cup back on the table and tapping his lip in a thinking motion. "Though I was going to pick up a couple of custom-made jackets of Red Hood and a Nightwing plush later today."
He acted like he did not hear the triumph like hiss of 'yes' from Jason as well as the very upset huff of Damian.
He just grinned at the amusement about how they apparently were competing over how much merch he owned of each of them.
When he found a Robin figure and several Robin pins mysteriously placed on his desk the next morning, he broke out laughing. Yet still just to mess with them gushed about his newly gotten merch to his family while sharing a knowing look with Alfred who knew he was just messing with them.
If there was a surprising amount of Batman merch, suddenly mixed into what he already owned the following week without his knowledge. Well, he wasn't going to complain about free stuff.
But he still would get a good laugh out of their reactions on the day he decided to full on dawn every piece of Batman merge instead of theirs.
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allthegothihopgirls · 2 months
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batboys playing scrabble except there's a dictionary on-hand at all times solely for the purpose of fact-checking jason every time he tries to make up a word and gaslight the others into thinking it's real.
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frownyalfred · 29 days
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I know the Justice League has several different origin stories, but the idea that it started out as Bruce and Clark finishing a reluctant team-up saying “I guess we should have a way to stay in contact with each other” and then five years later they were coparenting an entire satellite of superheroes is so funny to me.
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pinkiemachine · 7 months
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An oldie but a goodie…
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Part 2…
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bluerosefox · 8 months
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Playing Dead AU Guyyyyyyssss
I just had a random shenanigans idea...
Now hear me out.
You know those murder mystery parties right? The ones where people get together, an actor plays dead, and the groups have to figure out who did it.
Well what if.
Danny takes a summer job as the body/actor of the victim for those parties and actually is commented on being the best 'very lifelike dead body' actor and hey at least his 'medical condition' (halfa) is finally being useful for something (besides you know, fighting ghosts) he can even go hours without moving (or breathing) once he's dead so he doesn't ruin the immersion for party goers.
Anyways, what if he gets a job for a rich people's party, you know something novelty for the wealthy to have fun with, maybe it's the Wayne's hosting a party or maybe someone else and they invite the Wayne's. And the company he works for sends him to Gotham. He gets there, helps set up the clues and the other actors, etc etc.
Then the guests start showing up, Danny acts like the star of the show he is and then the lights cut out, he screams (very realistically), and 'dies' before the lights come back on. As some players come up to inspect his body however he doesn't notice how some take his pulse and actually fully think he's dead.
Point being, Danny is the 'dead' body for the murder mystery, goes to Gotham for a gig, 'dies' and the batfam think they have a legit murder happening.
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"Jason Todd was a menace of a Robin"
WRONG Jason Todd was a sweet lil lad who liked to read fucking Shakespear
DICK GRAYSON WAS 11 YEARS OLD AND LOOKING FOR HIS PARENTS KILLER TO MURDER
He also beat Joker to death after Jason died, Dick is probably the most angry Robin to ever traffic light his way through Gotham.
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fishfission-dc · 1 year
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Batfamily Powerpoint Night!
(mandatory team building)
Links to the full slideshows, updated as I post them!
Part 1: Bruce’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 2: Dick’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 3: Tim’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 4: Jason’s Full Slideshow: 
(they forced him to be there so he’s making it everyone’s problem):
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Part 5: Cass’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 6: Stephanie’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 7: Damian’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 8: Duke’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 9: Barbara’s Full Slideshow:
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Part 10: Alfred’s Full Slideshow:
(unexpected addition, mostly about Tim):
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ruenii · 1 year
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Tim, [pointing his staff at the human traffickers]: YOU ARE OUTGUNNED
Jason, [hyping him up]: WHAT?
Tim: OUTMANNED!
Jason: WHAT?!
Tim: OUTNUMBERED OUTPLANNED
Jason: PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!
Tim: PUT YOUR GUNS DOWN ON MY COMMAND
Jason: HAND EM OVER!!
Tim: THIS IS HAMILTON MY RIGHT HAND MAN!
Jason, [getting his guns out]: PWO PWO PWO PWO PWO-
Goons: *shaking* what the FUCK are Batman feeding his partners--
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