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writemywaytoyourheart · 9 months

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Bedeviled | Chapter 12b: Apple (continued)

warnings for this part *contains SPOILERS*: suGgEsTive content, summoning demons (do not), pregnancy, miscarriage, severe depression, manipulation, major heart break I'm sorry, sickness, death, loss, mentions of torture.

this part can get heavy, pls read at your own discretion.

WC part 2: 13.2k

read 12a first...HERE

Just as you suspected, Jungkook spent every waking hour hunting down any and every little thing that might lead him closer to a way to stop the curse.

He spoke to people in the village, who led him to the towns over, who then led him to the towns just a few further down.

Yoongi stayed with you a lot upon Jungkook’s request. He didn’t want to leave you alone, but he refused to give up. There wasn’t any effort he didn’t go to trying to save you.

There were many tears.

Many nights full of enraged screaming when it was thought no one could hear the soul behind the desperate cries for help, when he was all on his own; looking at the stupid fire he made to keep himself warm on the nights he was away, looking for help.

He didn’t bother throwing those thoughts into the flames. They were what kept him going.

You already had your fill of rage and sorrow over the past year; although it still ate at you internally, turning your stomach to knots every waking moment.

Jungkook, on the other hand, continuously held out hope that perhaps he was trapped in a nightmare that he would soon wake from.

He would go to you, and you would not be worn down with the symptoms that continued to grow worse. The dark circles under your eyes would not be there, only the beautiful shining light in your irises that could chase away even the nastiest storm.

You would not be sitting on the floor and trying to figure out how to draw to pass the time, but instead, running through the sunlit forest and climbing the apple tree.

He would find you in the clearing and wait just for a moment.

A few seconds to admire the beauty in front of him, the sun shining on your fingers as they reached for the clouds.

You would smile at him.

And everything would be okay.

And he would love you.

The next year passed much like that, Jungkook never resting.

He would come back bearing ointments claiming to cure any ailment, prayers that would heal even the sickest. Nothing worked. You could see it wearing him down, the dark circles under his eyes growing each night he didn’t sleep.

“Jungkook, please stop this.”

He looked at you from where he was finishing putting together a satchel.

“What do you mean?” He asked, turning back to tighten the clasp before swinging it over his shoulder.

“You know what I mean,” You whispered, frustration building up inside you.

You were so tired, all you wanted was to be with him.

He had missed your seventeenth birthday, and if he left again, you were going to miss his nineteenth. The poor boy was in tears for days after not getting back until the day after your birthday. The guilt consumed him for weeks, he almost couldn’t handle it.

You really didn’t want to see him like that again.

“I found something, I know it’ll work this time.”

“What is it?” You gritted out between clenched teeth.

“Something that even the curse can’t fight,” He sounded more hopeful than he had in months, “It will work, Apple.”

You stared at him with furrowed brows, “What is it?”

“A flame,” He said quietly, not looking you in the eye.

“What kind of flame?”

He finally looked at you, “It doesn’t matter-”

“It does to me.”

Jungkook sighed, “It’s called the Flame of Immortality. If you just trust me-”

“What?” You were beyond confused and more than a little stressed out, “That sounds like trouble, Jungkook…how did you come to know about this?”

He looked at you steadily before whispering, “Desperation will lead you to many secrets.”

You swallowed, “Don’t. I don’t want you to-”

“Apple, you can’t just tell me not to-”

“I don’t want to be immortal!” You were getting frantic, “Not without you-”

“It might work on two people, I won’t know until I learn more.”

After a moment of tense silence, he said quietly, “I’m not going to give up.”

“I’m not asking you to,” You took a deep breath, “I just-...”

It was silent save for your heavy breathing. You put a hand to your head, the room suddenly feeling as if it was tilting.

“Apple?”

You didn’t answer him, focusing too hard on not toppling over. Despite your best efforts, you fell forward, quickly losing consciousness.

Jungkook caught you before you could tumble off the bed, holding you in his arms as he lowered to the ground.

You came to a minute later, curled up in his lap as he hugged you.

“I’ve got you,” He whispered tearfully, hand caressing your hair.

“Jungkook,” You spoke quietly.

“Mm?”

“I miss my best friend,” You gripped his clothes tightly in your fist, “Please, don’t leave me again.”

He closed his eyes, a few tears sliding down his cheeks as he put his chin on your head, holding you close.

“Okay.”

He sounded so defeated.

You hated to make him feel like that, but you were scared to be alone. You didn’t want him to leave anymore, especially because you really didn’t know how much longer you had.

“I love you,” You whispered, messing with the sash on his waist as you continued to rest in his hold.

“I love you too, Apple.”

You smiled and closed your eyes, breathing deeply.

“Can we climb the apple tree?”

He gulped, hating that he was unsure of granting your request. After a minute, he couldn’t bear the thought of denying you.

“Of course.”

He held your hand the whole way there.

“Want to swing first?” His voice was pitched higher, clearly trying to sound more positive. You smiled at the old swing, the rope handles fraying a little.

“Yes, please.”

You sat down, giggling as he pushed you gently, your hands gripping the rope tightly. You looked over to the bush where you always imagined the invisible person to be and smiled.

I’m okay.

They knew you would be.

Then you looked up towards the sky, seeing a few rain clouds floating.

Don’t cry for me, I’m okay.

The grass was soft against your feet.

Jungkook helped you climb up to your sitting spot, settling in across from you and smiling at the pure joy on your sweet face.

The wind was gentle on your sensitive skin.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked after watching you smile at the clouds for a few minutes. You looked at him, a light in your eyes that hadn’t been there for over two years.

“I want to get married.”

His heart clenched in his chest, “You do?” He whispered.

You nodded, practically glowing.

___________________

The wedding had taken place in Jungkook’s old home. Tradition was to do it in the bride’s home, but that wasn’t an option.

You saw her that day, before the ceremony. She passed by as you were walking through the village. There wasn’t a single sign that she cared you were there. She simply walked on, not even sparing you a glance.

That was the last time you ever saw your mother.

Jungkook was his sweet and gentle self the whole day. By the time you got back to the shed, you were practically vibrating with joy. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, all you could’ve ever wanted.

Your wedding night was even more so, and the next morning, he was right by your side.

“Happy birthday,” You whispered with a smile as he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you,” He scrunched his nose at you, then he leaned down and placed a sleepy kiss on your lips, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, Jungkook.”

He knew you were, but that didn’t calm his fears.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier,” You whispered, gaze never leaving his beautiful dark eyes. The way you looked at him like he was your whole world made his heart ache.

“I know I haven’t,” He whispered back playfully, making you laugh.

_________

It was only a few weeks after your wedding that Jungkook left again.

He hadn’t told you.

In fact, he had purposely made Yoongi go and distract you. You were almost hysterical when you figured out what happened, your cousin had to physically keep you from storming out of the shed.

It wasn’t a rundown abandoned shack anymore; Jungkook had worked on it since you left your mother’s and stayed there. He worked tirelessly with you helping where you could- mostly holding things for him and being his emotional support buddy- until it felt like a home; somewhere you two could live comfortably for many years.

It didn’t feel like home that day. You were so angry with him for leaving you alone again.

Yoongi tried to calm you, tried to explain how Jungkook must be feeling; his wife and best friend slowly dying and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“He said he wouldn’t leave!” You cried into your hands, “He lied to me!”

“____,” Yoongi held your shoulders, “If he thought you would die without him, he would not have gone. He has hope, you need to let him give some to you, too.”

You clenched your jaw, fighting the tears back.

You felt betrayed.

If you were in his place, you wouldn’t give up either. But you could feel yourself slipping away. You wouldn’t be able to fight it much longer.

Your body was tired, more than you let on. No matter how much you told it to woman up and be strong, it continued to fail.

At that point, it was normal for you to have fainting episodes daily.

You didn’t let your cousin know, but your legs had begun to swell a little in the past few weeks. Your husband never hesitated to rub them gently in the mornings to help with the swelling.

You wouldn’t have told him either, but of course he noticed. He was married to you.

Jungkook meant well by leaving, but he promised you he wouldn’t, and he broke that promise.

You would never forgive him if he left you to die alone.

Jungkook lit the fire, then stepped back, holding the herbs tightly in his sweaty fist.

Out of nowhere, there was a sudden whisper of warning somewhere to his right, making him flinch and look over. There was a slight breeze, rustling the leaves. When he saw no one, he turned back to the task at hand.

Closing his eyes, he gulped as he tossed the bundle into the fire, whispering the words he was told to say.

A moment passed, but nothing felt different.

He opened his eyes, anger seeping into his chest as the tears burned; threatening to spill.

That old man was just insane, he should never have listened-

“Well if it isn’t another desperate little human.”

Jungkook flinched and turned around, coming face to face with a tall dark-haired man; his beauty unnatural. There were large black feathered wings upon his back, resting while not in flight.

“Are you a demon?” Jungkook whispered, his eyes falling to the tattoo on the man’s bicep.

A white rose…dead, and being strangled by a serpent.

“I’m not just a demon,” He whispered with a smirk, “I’m the demon.”

Jungkook wasn’t sure what he meant.

“Lucifer,” He practically hissed as he observed the human in front of him, “And you are?”

“Jungkook.”

“Well, Jungkook,” The demon called Lucifer smiled menacingly.

There was a split second where Jungkook saw him glance over his shoulder as if seeing something behind him, then his smile grew, “What can I do for you?”

The young man swallowed, “I need the Flame of Immortality.”

“I see. And what use would that be to you?”

“There’s someone I need to save,” Jungkook whispered.

Lucifer chuckled darkly, “Typical. And you think the Flame will save them?”

“It has to,” Jungkook grit his teeth, “I don’t have any other choice.”

“Well,” The tall man leaned closer, “What if you did?”

“What?”

“What if you had another choice, human. Would you take it?”

Jungkook blinked, then nodded, “If it means I can save her, then yes.”

The demon smirked as he watched the despicable mortal become more and more helpless even as they just stood there. Tears formed in his eyes, then slid down his cheek.

“What on earth did the big man do to you and your poor girl?” Lucifer whispered, feigning pity.

“She was cursed,” Jungkook wiped his nose, “She’s dying. I- I can’t live without her-”

He burst into tears and fell to his knees, heart aching more than it ever had as reality came crashing down on him.

If this didn’t work, he was going to lose you.

The demon watched him with a glint in his eye and a smirk on his handsome face, “What if I told you that I can cure her, and you won’t even need the Flame.”

Jungkook looked at him with wide eyes, “Can you?”

“Most definitely.”

“Please,” Jungkook choked out, “Please break the curse.”

“Oh, it isn’t a curse, silly boy.”

He looked up at the demon in confusion, “But-”

“It’s something she was born with,” He waved a hand dismissively, “A mere disease.”

“Oh,” Jungkook wiped at his eyes again, “But you can take it away?”

“Of course.”

Jungkook felt his heart rate increase as he realized that he had finally done it. He found a way to save you.

He broke down into sobs, “Please help me-”

"And what will you give me?"

There was another warning in his ear, frantic and pleading. Just a faint breath in the wind.

“Don’t do it.”

Jungkook trembled, his hands clasped as he tried to contain his tears enough to speak.

"I- I'll give you anything, just please save her-"

"Anything?"

The young man nodded frantically, bowing his head, "Whatever you wa-"

"How about your soul? A life for a life."

Jungkook was startled at that, looking back up at the demon.

"M-my soul?"

A simple nod in reply, nothing else. No negotiations.

He gulped.

An image of you smiling at him, only four years old as you held the apple out, came to his mind.

“Jungkook, please-”

He nodded shakily, forcing himself to ignore the voice that whispered its last warning, "Ok."

A smirk spread on Lucifer’s face as he crossed his arms, the tattoo of the dead rose on his outer bicep stretching as he did, "Looks like we have a deal.”

You blinked your eyes open, taking in a deep breath.

Was it morning already?

Sitting up, you rubbed at your eyes before looking around your tiny little home. You slept better than you had been for a while; it must be the bed that Jungkook spent almost a week making. He said it was long overdue, humble and shy as always when you praised his hard work.

You took another deep breath in, blowing it out in a large puff.

Just before getting out of the bed, your eyes landed on a beetle crawling across the covers. At first, you almost jumped out of the bed screaming.

After a moment to calm yourself, you looked at the small thing, minding its own business as it walked along slowly. It really wasn’t very big, maybe half the size of your pinky nail. Leaning down to look closer, you saw pretty gold patterns along its back, a vibrant green peeking out here and there.

“Oh, you’re quite pretty,” You whispered. The beetle paid you no mind as it continued on its way.

“You’ll die in here,” You said softly, gathering your bravery and leaning over to brush it gently into your hand, “There’s no food for you.”

It sat still in your palm, not moving as you brought it closer to get a better look. You smiled, keeping it safely in your left hand as you pushed the covers from you with your right and swung your legs around to get off the bed.

Just as you were moving to hop down, something made you freeze.

Your brows furrowed as you leaned down to look at your legs. Had the swelling gone down overnight? They looked…normal.

The past week, they had kept getting more swollen each day, to the point it was painful to walk. You never told Yoongi, and it was easy enough to keep it hidden under your long skirts. There was no reason to worry him. You had a feeling he knew that your time was coming soon anyway. He just refused to believe it.

You looked back at the beetle in your hand, “What do you think?”

Lowering your hand so he could see your legs, you gave him a moment to consider, then you brought him back up, “Do they look swollen to you?” After a moment, you nodded, “That’s what I thought too…we better get you outside.”

Once your bare feet hit the floor, you almost flinched at the fact that pain didn’t shoot through your legs at the contact. You had been expecting it.

Your eyes widened as you looked down, seeing your toes against the wooden floor. The simple white night dress hung down to mid shin, showing how normal your calves looked.

Taking in a long breath, you felt your lungs expand.

It didn’t hurt to breathe.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you looked at your little friend. Excitement that you were going to have a good day filled you as you couldn’t help but laugh. Without another thought, you ran out of the shed and into the sunlight.

The moment you stepped onto the velvety grass, you stopped short, still holding the beetle.

Twenty feet in front of you, Jungkook was there.

He looked worn out, but there was a smile on his face at the sight of you first thing after walking all day and night to get home.

Carefully, you bent down and shooed the beetle onto a leaf, then you straightened up and stared at the person you had feared you might not get to see again.

A few moments of silence passed, the two of you just looking at each other.

“Hi, Apple.” He finally whispered.

You didn’t say anything, just broke into a run.

He caught you as you flung yourself into him, tears springing to his eyes as he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you from the ground. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you hugged him as tight as you could.

“I missed you,” He mumbled into your neck.

You couldn’t respond, all you could do was breathe shakily, never wanting to let go.

Jungkook adjusted so that his hands were under your bottom so he could better hold you. Once he felt you were secure, he carried you back inside your home and sat on the bed. Still, you said nothing, you just kept your head tucked into the space between his neck and shoulder, not moving yourself from his lap.

After a few more moments, you whispered, “I thought I was never going to see you again.”

Jungkook caressed your hair gently, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing.”

“I know,” You sniffled.

His hands ran along your sides and down your legs, pushing the nightgown up so he could run his palms along your thighs. He had missed your warmth for weeks, it felt almost unreal finally being back in your arms.

As he was running his hands up and down along the length of your legs, he suddenly stopped. You pulled back to see a look of confusion on his face as he glanced down to where his hand rested on your ankle.

“What is it?” You asked.

“Lay down for me for a second.”

You weren’t sure what he was getting at, but you still crawled off his lap and onto the bed. As soon as you were off of him, he turned around and looked at your legs, holding your ankle and slightly pushing up your skirt to better see them.

Your cheeks warmed.

It had been weeks since you two had done anything.

“Apple,” His voice sounded weak with emotion as his eyes flitted back to yours, “Can you take a deep breath for me, love?”

He watched closely as you took in a big breath, your chest expanding and deflating as you did so. Not a single cough passed your lips.

As you took another breath, you saw tears in his eyes, a look of pure disbelief on his face.

“You’re okay?”

“Hm?”

“Your leh-...your legs aren’t swollen,” He whispered, warm hand caressing your calf once more, “And you took a breath and it…it didn’t hurt you?”

You shook your head with a small smile, “It didn’t hurt me.”

“It worked,” He breathed, looking back into your eyes.

Your eyes shifted back and forth between his.

“What do you mean?”

“The curse...it’s gone.”

“Jungkook, what are you saying-”

Your words got cut off when he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

Laying back on the bed, you sighed into his mouth as he climbed over you, hands back to pushing at your dress.

You didn’t understand what had gotten into him or why he was crying as he ran his thumb in circles on your bare waist, deepening the kiss as he did. Whatever was going on, you weren’t going to fight it.

Jungkook’s breath shuddered as he moved back to look at you, then he leaned down again, unable to get enough of the taste of your lips.

Whatever would happen to him, it didn’t matter.

You were going to live.

At first, you didn’t believe him when he explained that you were no longer cursed. But as the weeks passed by and you only felt more and more alive, it started to hit.

He never said what really happened in detail, only that he found a cure. He didn’t know it was going to work until he came home and saw you.

Jungkook never hesitated to do anything with you. He wasn’t going to take time for granted ever again. There wasn’t a day in the following months that you didn’t go outside and run around, climbing trees and making him take you out on the boat.

Each day you felt stronger, even more so than before the symptoms started. It was like life was surging through you at new levels and shining from within. He could see the light in your eyes, the glow in your sweet face.

You were going to live.

____________________________________

It was May; Jungkook’s favorite month.

It was the month of your birth, nothing could ever top it. The world seemed a little brighter, a little more colorful; just a bit more full of purpose. You turned eighteen in the middle of the month, but the start of that day wasn’t as fun as you thought it would be. That morning you didn’t feel well. The two weeks leading up to your birthday you weren’t feeling well either.

You had missed your monthly course, but didn’t mention it to Jungkook. It was probably just late.

Jungkook was worried sick when it seemed you were constantly feeling nauseous in the mornings. He was terrified that the disease had come back. You assured him that you were fine, that it didn’t feel like it did before. You just ate something bad and it would let up soon.

But on your birthday when you couldn’t even keep rice down during breakfast, saying that it smelt funny and you couldn’t eat it, he insisted something was wrong. He had been begging you to go to the village and be seen for a while, in case it was something serious, but you hadn’t wanted to.

“Apple, please. Even if it’s just for me, to put my mind at ease,” He pleaded with you that morning for the hundredth time.

“Okay,” You sighed, “If you’ll feel better, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you,” He kissed you on the forehead, “Can I take you there on my way?”

You nodded, letting him help you up from the floor.

You smiled at Jungkook’s mother when she opened the door.

“Why, ____! How wonderful to see you!” She pulled you into a hug, smiling at her son over your shoulder.

“It’s so good to see you,” You whispered, hugging her back.

“I need to go to the town for some supplies, today is the only time I can,” Jungkook said before looking at you pointedly, “Apple wants to speak with you, if that’s alright.”

His mother ushered you inside, “Anytime, my dear. We’ll see you later, Jungkook!” Then she shut the thin door, not sparing another word for him.

He chuckled, shaking his head as he went on his way.

“My, how long has it been?” Your mother-in-law poured some tea into a small cup for you, smiling as you thanked her.

“At least a few months,” You said sadly, “I’m sorry I haven’t visited you.”

“Oh nonsense, nonsense,” She waved off your apology, “You two are meant to be enjoying time with each other, not worrying about coming back to this place.”

You knew she was never a fan of the people around here either. But she did a lot of good in the village with her knowledge of medicine.

“What did you want to talk about?” She asked before sipping her tea.

You took a drink of yours before clearing your throat a little, “I’ve been feeling a little off these days. Jungkook insisted I come to you.”

She laughed, “Of course, he did.”

You laughed with her, both of you knowing how stubborn he could be.

“Tell me about what’s been going on, dear.”

“Hey, I was expecting you to be at mother’s still,” Jungkook said as he came in the door of your home, “It scared me when you weren’t there.”

“Sorry,” You whispered, eyes locked on your hands.

“What’s wrong?” He set his things down on the table and walked over to kneel in front of you, “She said it was nothing to worry about when I asked. But she wouldn’t tell me, she insisted I come back and hear it from you.”

“I-...” You bit your lip, excitement bubbling up in your tummy as you finally raised your eyes to his.

It was the best gift you could’ve gotten for your birthday.

He smiled gently.

You scanned his face, wondering if they would have his doe eyes, or his sweet pink lips.

“We’re going to have a baby,” You whispered, biting the tips of your fingers, a smile slipping out even as you tried to keep it contained.

The complete and utter shock on his face made you laugh.

“Really?” He finally whispered, his eyes staring into yours.

You nodded, eyes shining as you took his hand and placed it on your stomach.

“I told you I was okay,” You said quietly, scrunching your nose at him.

Jungkook’s gaze fell to where his hand rested on you, where your child was growing. You watched happily as he closed his eyes, a few tears spilling down his cheeks.

After a moment of silence, he leaned forward, placing both hands on your lower back and pressing a kiss to your stomach, making you giggle at the ticklish feeling.

“I love you,” He whispered as he looked up at you.

You pushed the hair out of his face, smile never dimming as you whispered the words back to him.

If Jungkook was over protective before, he was even more so after finding out that you were with child.

Instead of climbing the apple tree, he pushed you gently on the swing when you wanted to be outside. You would sit on the ground, leaning your back against the tree and messing with the silky grass with your bare feet, giggling at the feeling between your toes. He would sit with you, chuckling at your antics as he handed you an apple, watching as you munched on it happily.

“How are you feeling?”

You answered the question over a hundred times every single day, but you didn’t mind. You would just laugh and tell him you felt amazing. There was never a time in your life that you had been happier.

Only three years ago, you were told you would most likely be dead before you even reached your twentieth birthday.

You never thought you would be nearly four months pregnant with your first child at eighteen and married to your best friend. You didn’t know what happened to change things, but not a single day passed that you didn’t thank whoever was watching over you.

“How-”

“Am I feeling?” You laughed quietly at the young man who was getting ready for bed and worrying his pretty little head off about you as usual while he did so.

Jungkook gave you a look, which made you laugh harder.

“I’m just checking,” He whispered as he climbed into bed, nudging your nose with his, “Scoot over.”

You did as he asked, blushing when you saw him watching you with a smile as you struggled to make room. “What?”

“You’re just cute,” He laughed.

Covering your face with your hands, you turned away from him.

“Stop,” You whined as he fought with you to uncover your face.

“Ugh, you’re so annoying,” He pouted, then smiled again as he placed a hand on your small baby bump.

The way your belly had started to grow was so endearing to him, a physical reminder of the life inside of you. Even as you hid, he pushed your nightgown up and over your tummy so he could place kisses along the skin that stretched slightly to start to accommodate his baby girl.

“I love you, Aera,” He whispered to your belly before kissing it again as you took your hands from your face, smiling at his words.

“You really think it’s a girl, huh?”

“Only because it is,” Jungkook stuck his tongue out at you. You thought so too, so you didn’t argue. Jungkook had picked the name, saying it came to him in a dream.

You loved it and there was never another thought as to what she would be called. It was perfect.

He moved up until he could kiss your lips, whispering against them, “Love you, sweet girl.”

“I love you, too,” you ran your fingers through his hair, “Jungkook?”

“Mm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what, love?”

You swallowed, “For saving me.”

It was the thousandth time you had thanked him.

His smile was warm like honey, “You saved me first.”

It was August.

It was the eighteenth day of August.

The sun was bright, but it wasn’t too hot. There was a slight breeze, just enough to cool what heat the sun did provide.

You ate rice that morning, feeling better since the sickness in the mornings weren't present the past week.

You washed some garments early in the afternoon. Jungkook insisted he could do it, but you asked him if you could do at least a few things. You wanted to do something, you wanted to be helpful.

He couldn’t stop you from arranging the roses he brought for you from the bush on the small table, tucked into the vase that Taehyung had given to you after your wedding.

“I’m fine,” You brushed him away with a laugh as he hovered over you while you folded the clothes that were dry after hanging outside since the day before, “I’m sitting, Jungkook!”

“I know,” He sighed, shifting nervously on his feet as he watched you, “I just don’t want you to overdo it.”

“Jungkook,” You gave him an unimpressed look, “I have not felt this good in months. I have barely done anything. All I’m doing is sitting and folding, it takes barely any effort.”

“I know,” He said again, but finally sounded like he might be calming as a small smile appeared on his face. After a few minutes in comfortable silence as you folded and he worked on his most recent project, he spoke up.

“Are you hungry?”

You thought about it for a minute, then shook your head, “No, not really. You eat if you’re hungry though.”

He pouted, standing up and grabbing a pear from the small basket sitting atop the chest, “I don’t like eating when you’re not.”

You chuckled, shaking your head at his silliness.

“How are they coming along?” You asked, trying to distract him.

Jungkook immediately brightened and walked over to pick up his newest work, bringing them to you and setting them gently in your lap, “They’re finished.”

You gasped at the most adorable little booties you had ever seen. It was clear he had spent time and a great deal of love on them.

“Jungkook, these are so beautiful!”

He blushed, “Beautiful enough for our little girl?”

“Oh, certainly,” You smiled at him, holding the little shoes to your chest in a tiny hug, “She’s going to be so grateful to have a daddy that loves her so much.”

Jungkook breathed out an embarrassed chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck as he smiled at you.

It was August.

It was the eighteenth day of August.

The sun had set. It was cool, but not enough to be uncomfortable as you settled into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin.

Jungkook was outside speaking with Taehyung, but you were exhausted, so you went to bed early. The three of you had been sitting around the fire, chatting.

You had no worries. You didn’t toss any worries into the fire that night.

You went to bed early.

It was just over an hour later when you woke up, wincing at the foreign pain in your abdomen. Breathing deeply didn’t help. You sat up, a small grunt of pain leaving your lips as you did.

“Ah,” You tried to take another breath, but it only began to hurt more.

Looking over to the door, you could see the glow of the fire still burning through the cracks.

“Jungkook,” You called weakly, wincing.

Something was wrong.

There was a warm feeling between your legs. You lifted the covers but couldn’t see anything. So, you reached a hand down, brows creasing when your fingers came away wet.

“Jungkook,” You called out again, fear settling in your heart, “Jungkook!”

The door opened and you saw him walk in, concern clear on his face at your hollering.

“Apple, what’s wrong?”

“I- I don’t know,” You began to cry, “It hurts.”

It was the eighteenth day of August.

You remembered only fear and pain, the sound of Jungkook screaming for Taehyung to get his mother.

The feeling of strong arms lifting you from the bed and hurrying out of the front door.

The moon was bright on the eighteenth day of August.

You could see it shining through the leaves as they blurred past. He was whispering for you to hold on. You were terrified.

There were no clouds in the night sky, but the stars were shining.

The world felt cold.

There were no clouds, you couldn’t see them.

You wondered if they could see you.

You wondered if they wept for you.

“Apple?”

You looked up from the small blanket in your hands.

Jungkook wasn’t sure if you were looking at him or through him. He swallowed thickly, his heart bleeding as he walked over and sat on the floor in front of you. Slowly, he took the blanket from you, but you didn’t react.

“I’ve got some food for you, love.”

You said nothing. He took a steadying breath, then picked up the bowl of porridge and dipped your favorite wooden spoon into it, getting a good amount.

“Open.”

You did nothing but look at the dirt on his clothes.

“Apple, open your mouth.”

Finally, you listened, albeit slowly. He carefully placed the spoon past your lips, patient as ever while you swallowed. It was only a few spoonfuls that day. But it was more than the day before, where you hadn’t eaten a single thing.

“You did well,” He whispered as he set the still almost full bowl down next to him, “I’m proud of you.”

There was a faint smile on your face at his words, but your eyes were empty. Jungkook closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

It had been two months since that night, since you lost the baby. You weren’t the same since.

He hadn’t been well either, but he couldn’t let himself check out like he wanted to. Not if he wouldn’t be there to take care of you.

Every night, he cried more tears than he thought physically possible. His baby girl was gone, his best friend slipping away from him soon after.

He wasn’t sure how much he could handle before he followed suit.

It was not until six months after the loss, that you began to come out of it. All those months were nothing but a blur to you. You had no control over anything during it. All you could remember was the color gray. It was like you had forgotten everything; how to eat, how to sleep, how to breathe.

You certainly didn’t know how to live.

You weren’t supposed to live.

That plagued you every moment of those months. The guilt of giving Jungkook something so wonderful only to take it away again. You hated yourself. It felt like you had failed as a mother.

You hurt your best friend because your body couldn’t do what it was made to do.

By the time you came out of it, you were so ridden with guilt that you almost couldn’t handle it. Not only because of the miscarriage, but because you realized what you put him through for all that time. He didn’t even get to grieve.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, eyes glued to the empty vase by the door.

Jungkook looked at you from where he kneeled by the chest, just finishing putting a few things away.

“Apple-”

“No,” You choked out, “You don’t have to comfort me. I should’ve been there for you. I shouldn't have let you suffer alone.”

He sighed and stood up, walking over to be in front of you, “I don’t blame you for that.”

“I do,” You wiped at your eyes, “And I’m so sorry. Please forgive me-”

“There is nothing to forgive,” He leaned down and kissed your forehead, “Do you really believe you chose to be trapped in that state of mind?”

After a moment, you shook your head.

It happened instantly. One moment you were going to sleep while your husband and friend talked outside, the next moment the world was gray and you couldn’t do anything.

You lost six months of time, it was not your choice.

But you still felt horrible.

A few nights later, you held him as he cried.

You dried his tears, finally able to be there for him when he needed you.

You opened your eyes to see the roof of the small shack right in front of you.

A smile broke out on your face as you sat up in bed and looked to the side to see the sun shining through the window in a golden stream dancing across the dirty floor.

The bed creaked when you climbed off of it, rubbing your sore limbs as you walked over to the tiny table that Jungkook placed in the corner, smiling at the vase of flowers sitting there, as pretty as always.

The roses must be blooming.

You sat in one of the two wooden chairs, rubbing your eyes before sniffing the air.

Something smells good.

You stood and walked over to the door to step outside, squinting as the bright sun wished you a good morning, shining its blinding light into your eyes.

“Hi, love.”

You grinned at the young man who was busy cooking something over the fire, his bunny smile directed at you the second you came out.

“Hi,” You croaked, morning voice betraying you.

“Are you hungry?”

“Very,” You laughed lightly.

Jungkook stood up, dusting off his clothes before walking over and placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Good, the food will be ready soon. Oh, and Taehyung is coming over.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up at the news. You hadn’t seen him in far too long.

Jungkook nodded as he tucked a stray hair behind your ear, then he took your hand and pressed a kiss to your finger, right where your ring rested.

When Taehyung came, he was relieved to see the two of you in better spirits. It had been over a year since you lost the baby. He wished he could erase that night from his own memory, the thought of being one of you in that situation was unimaginable.

Jungkook was to be turning twenty-one in only a few days, and you were nineteen. Both of you had seen far too much grief in life already.

It was the first time he had seen you after coming out of the stupor you were in for half a year.

You were taken by surprise when Taehyung immediately went to you and pulled you into a hug. Putting your arms around him, you hugged him back.

“It’s good to see you again, little bird,” He whispered after pulling back. You weren’t aware that the last time he saw you, your gaze had been so vacant that he wasn’t sure you had even seen or heard him. You were sitting on the bed, looking at the vase he had gifted to you and never elsewhere.

Taehyung stayed with you two for a few days, spending Jungkook’s birthday there.

The day after he left, you were sitting in the swing, pushing yourself back and forth slowly. The leaves on the trees were beginning to change color.

You smiled sadly at the sight of a tiny leaf sitting right next to a larger one.

Even time could never heal some wounds.

“Your daddy’s birthday was fun,” You whispered, pushing the swing back again, “He would have loved to spend it with you.”

It was unclear exactly when you had started to speak with her while you were alone. You refused to believe she couldn’t hear you.

Maybe she was sitting with the invisible person or climbing the apple tree as you swung below it.

“We love you, a lot,” You looked over to the little bush that you had always felt was where they sat to talk with you. It felt different.

Standing up from the swing, you slowly walked over, holding out a hand. Ever so gently, you touched a little leaf hanging from one of the skinny branches. If you listened close enough, you thought maybe you could hear the sound of tiny laughter.

You turned around, looking at the forest around you, listening as hard as you could. Then there was the sound of a twig snapping, which made you turn again to see the newcomer.

“Jungkook. You startled me.”

“Sorry,” He smiled at you as he came closer, “I thought you might have been out here.”

You nodded, smiling at the swing.

Part of you wanted to tell him what you had been doing, for years even, back when it started with the invisible person. Perhaps it might bring him some comfort as well. You weren’t sure why you felt a bit self-conscious though. Nevertheless, you didn’t say anything.

“Did I interrupt something?” Jungkook asked, sensing that you were a little distracted.

You shook your head with a laugh, “Not at all.”

Taking his hand, you turned to walk back with him as he excitedly told you about the meal he had prepared.

There was no special occasion, he informed you, it was just because he wanted to do something for you. You had done so many things for him since you were little without needing a reason, always saying you just wanted to.

You laughed at his rambling as you walked, swinging your joined hands back and forth. Only once, you turned and looked over your shoulder at the swing that moved slightly in the breeze.

If you looked close enough, you thought you might see her.

Long black hair flowing down her back as she swung back and forth. Tiny hands were gripping the rope tightly. There were pale yellow wings, like that of a bird, on her back. Her little legs kicked under the swing.

You couldn’t see her face, only a small glimpse of her very small nose when she looked to the side and laughed at something. There was a child’s voice whispering on the wind, but you couldn’t hear what they were saying. A moment later, you realized what it was.

“I’m okay, mommy.”

You blinked, and she was gone.

“I wish you wouldn’t go.”

Jungkook bit his lip at your words, feeling terrible.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, “I promised her I’d accompany her to the Cho’s, she wants to be there by the end of the week at the earliest.”

You smiled, brushing it off, “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad for wanting to help your mother. I just wish the Cho’s lived closer.”

“So do I.”

“It can’t be helped,” You laughed quietly, “Your mother is too talented for her own good, pretty soon people will insist she multiply herself and live in each of their towns to help.”

He laughed, “She would do it too, if she could.”

You walked with him to the village to bid her farewell. She was so kind, it always brightened your day to see her.

“I’ll try not to keep him too long,” She promised with a wink.

You laughed, “Oh, keep him as long as you like. Make him do all the work.” Jungkook shook his head with a smile as you and his mother tittered, as if sharing jokes he was no part of.

“You better go,” You gave her one last hug, “I don’t want you two traveling at night.”

His mother kissed you on the forehead sweetly, “Always so thoughtful. I will see you later, my dear.”

“Be safe,” You smiled warmly at her before turning to Jungkook. He leaned down and kissed the tip of your nose, pulling back with a smile.

“Is that all I get?” You whispered teasingly as his mother pretended to be busy with counting the things she was bringing.

He only smirked, giving you a little wink as he backed away, “See you soon, Apple.”

He was meant to be gone for nine days.

It wasn’t a quick journey to the town a few over; three days each way. And he was going to help his mother get settled for her two months stay.

The first few days were a little lonely, but on the fourth day, Yoongi came to see you. It felt like forever since you had seen him.

You sat and talked for hours on end, wanting to know every little thing that he had been doing. He told you all about the research he was doing on agriculture, and how he finally understood your love for nature. He also told you about the girl he was courting, much to his embarrassment at admitting how strongly he felt for her.

It was wonderful. You had been so close as kids, growing up always made people and things grow apart. You hated it.

Yoongi didn’t ask you how you were feeling, which you appreciated. You knew he cared, but he also knew and respected that you didn’t want to talk about it. The way you kept pushing the conversation onto what he was up to, made it clear enough even if he didn’t already know you well.

Jungkook was meant to be gone for nine days.

Word came five days into his absence, from a young teen boy, that he was going to be away for another week at most. You thanked the boy as he turned and ran off, laughing to yourself as you pulled the water bucket up from the well in the outskirts of the village.

The stream where you usually collected your water was oddly sparse that week, so you thought you might as well come into the village and see Yoongi before getting some water to bring back home.

The next day, you came back to see him again, getting more water on the way. As you were leaving, wooden bucket sloshing around with water as you held it in both your arms, you stopped when you saw someone standing in front of you.

“I thought it might be you!”

“Jisoo?” Your eyes widened when you saw the girl you hadn’t spoken to in at least three years. She looked a bit older, more mature than when you last saw her. There was a child in her arms, just over a year old at most.

Jisoo nodded, “I’ve seen you around a few times over the years, but wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk.”

You laughed, “Why shouldn’t I?”

She shrugged, the baby on her hip smiling at you. You smiled back, a horrible pain in your heart as you did.

“You were always off with that strange boy, what’s his name-”

“Jungkook,” You said, a bit shortly, “His name is Jungkook. And he’s my husband.”

“Ah yes,” She looked a little embarrassed, “Jungkook. I must admit, I never could see what you saw in him until the other week. He really has changed.”

You didn’t like the smirk on her face as she said that.

“No,” You adjusted the water in your arms to better hold it, then you looked her up and down, “Out of everyone in this village, it seems he’s the only one that hasn’t had to.”

Jisoo didn’t respond at first, only shifted uncomfortably as you stared at her.

“Yes, well,” A nasty smile curved on her lips, “Tell him if he ever wants a girl that can keep a baby, he can come to me anytime he’d like.”

She laughed at your silence before walking around you and leaving.

If there wasn’t a child in her arms, you would’ve dumped the water you were holding all over her. Only heaven knows what you would’ve done after that.

Instead, you stood there, unable to say a word or move a muscle, even after she left. There was a slight tremble in your knees as you stared at the dirt where she once stood. You blinked a few times, swallowing the pain from your heart that almost came crawling out of your throat in a horrible scream.

After a minute, you lifted your chin and kept walking.

You were strolling along the outskirts of the village, a few flowers in hand that you picked, small white ones. It was silent except for the rustle of leaves and the very quiet mumbling of you talking to the forest around you as you looked for more flowers.

“Pretty,” You muttered as you picked up a yellow one that you hadn’t ever seen before.

The sound of running and someone screaming broke you out of your trance and shattered the sacred silence. You turned to see a young girl around twelve hurrying up to you.

“You’re miss ____, right?”

Blinking in confusion, you nodded.

“Please help us,” She whimpered, and you finally noticed the tears on her face.

“What’s the matter?” You asked, fully alarmed.

“My cousin he’s- he’s fallen ill. No one knows what to do since the medicine lady is gone.”

Your stomach turned, “I- I don’t know medicine-”

“You married her son, didn’t you?”

You nodded again, throat dry.

“She must have taught you something! Please, he’ll die-”

“Take me to him.”

Your voice sounded much stronger than you felt.

The girl grabbed your hand and you ran after her, all the way through the village and to a relatively large home, one almost twice the size as everyone else’s. You went in, following the girl to a room where you could hear crying.

The second you stepped in, your heart stopped.

Jisoo was there, weeping. There was another woman, her mother, pacing the room. Lying on the floor on a few cushions, was a small boy, only three years of age. He was sweating, little whimpers leaving his mouth.

You snapped out of your shock and immediately jumped into action, “Get out,” You shoved Jisoo’s mother out of the room, gesturing for Jisoo to do the same.

“I’m not leaving, why are you here anyway?!” She shrieked.

You turned towards her and hissed quietly, “If you don’t want to leave your other child motherless, get out.”

The girl that had come to fetch you took the shocked young woman’s arm and led her out, explaining to her that you were there to help. That you knew the medicine lady and could help.

You shut your eyes, taking a deep breath.

Pull yourself together.

When you opened your eyes, your mind was no longer clouded with panic. You were not educated in medicine, but your mother-in-law did show you a few things over the years you’d known her that might be of some help.

You called out a few orders to the people outside of the room, telling them to hurry as fast as they could. Then you turned and went to the small child. He was looking at you, his eyes showing the terror he felt.

“You don’t have to be afraid,” You whispered, offering him a gentle smile as you knelt on the floor next to where he lay. He didn’t resist when you placed a hand on his forehead, then carefully ran your fingers across it, brushing the damp hairs away.

“You’re going to be alright, I promise,” You kept running your fingers along his cheeks, the action seeming to calm him, “I’m not going to leave you.”

He looked just like his mother.

Jisoo always had the prettiest eye shape, and he definitely inherited it.

There were frantic voices on the other side of the door, but you ignored them.

For hours you stayed in the room with the boy, cooling his skin with wet rags and feeding him the remedies that you could remember how to make. The people outside did everything you asked and would leave things at the door for you to grab and bring back inside with you.

When day turned into night, you still sat there with him, replacing the cold cloths on his skin with fresh ones. He eventually fell asleep.

You sighed with relief, knowing the worst had passed. If he could sleep, he was going to be fine.

You woke up on the floor of the room, blinking at the sun coming in through the window. Only a few feet away, the child still slept soundly.

Reaching out a hand, you felt his forehead, then mumbled a prayer of thanks to the invisible person you knew was there. They must have listened to your earnest requests the night before; his skin was cool to the touch, and he was breathing normally.

You stood up, groaning quietly at the soreness of your muscles from your sleeping position.

When you walked out and saw Jisoo sitting on a stump just outside the door, you approached her, “He’s going to be fine.”

She flinched at the sound of your voice, then turned and saw you standing there. It was silent for a minute, then she stood up and faced you, “If you think I’m going to thank you, then you’re just as crazy as they always said you were.”

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but that certainly wasn’t it.

“How dare you barge into my home and order me around?” Jisoo stepped closer, “Of course he’s going to be fine. He was just feeling a little off, you did nothing, you are not a hero.”

You stared at her for another minute.

“Ok, Jisoo,” You finally whispered, moving to get around her. She grabbed your arm though, before you could leave, “Don’t ever step foot into my home again. We don’t want your curse spread to us, infertile witch.”

Shoving your arm away as if she would catch something from being around you too long, she walked back inside.

All you could do for a moment was bite your lip harshly and stare at a stick on the ground. You knew, deep down inside, that even if you had known that would be her response, you still would’ve done the same thing; that child didn’t deserve to be in pain.

You walked all the way back to the shed, for the first time saying nothing to the trees and flowers that you passed on the way.

Maybe they missed your voice.

Maybe they cried for you.

You woke up the next day feeling strange.

The night before, you had felt a little hot and didn’t pull the covers over your body like you always did. In fact, you had chosen to strip yourself of all your clothes in the middle of the night while half asleep, which would explain the confused state you were in upon waking up completely naked.

Your head was aching and the sun was too bright.

Why ever was the sun that bright anyway?

You didn’t realize that you had slept well into the afternoon after unknowingly tossing and turning for hours in the night.

Standing up from the bed after pulling on a simple dress, the room spun for a moment before righting itself. You were going to get some fruit from the basket, but decided against it when the thought made your stomach turn.

You drank water instead, then climbed back into the bed and removed your obnoxious clothing again, but this time pulled the covers up to your chin and promptly fell asleep.

Yoongi knocked on the door of the shed again, waiting with furrowed brows. You hadn’t come into the village since the day before last and he was worried. The stream was still too dry to gather water and he had been expecting you to be going back for more at the well and visiting him while you were at it.

You said you would.

He had heard about what happened with Jisoo and wanted to let you know that her son was feeling much better.

When the third time he knocked was still unanswered, he opened the door and walked into the small but comfortable living space. His eyes were instantly drawn to the bed, where there was a little lump in the covers.

“____?” He walked over and shook your shoulder gently, “Wake up, you daft girl. It’s mid-day already!”

When you didn’t respond, his frown deepened and he shook you harder, letting out a small gasp when you turned over and he saw how clammy your skin was.

“____, wake up!”

Finally, you peeled your eyes open, they looked glassy and unfocused.

“Hm?”

Your cousin turned your body more to get a better look at your face, noticing briefly that you were unclothed under the covers, “____, what’s happened? Why are you like this? Are you ill?”

Your brows creased as you looked at him in confusion, “Wha-...Yoongi, is that you?”

His stomach dropped at the state you were in.

Something was terribly wrong.

“I’m going to go get someone,” Yoongi spoke slowly and clearly, “I need you to do your best in waking up, alright?”

You didn’t really acknowledge him, only mumbled something incoherent, but he didn’t have time to figure it out. He rushed out of the shack and through the woods, unsure who he was going to get but knowing he needed help.

The next few days were horrific.

There were two other people in the shack alongside Yoongi that did more than they ever cared to when you were young.

They tried their best to feed you, to cool the burning heat of your skin, to keep you from thrashing about and hurting yourself when you were racked with suffering.

You didn’t understand what was happening. You didn’t recognize anyone there, not even your own cousin. All you knew was that you were in pain and scared.

Sometimes you saw your mother, standing over your bed and shaking her head at you in disappointment. She kept calling you the sick one, the sick one.

Sometimes you saw a man that you thought was your father. He did nothing but stare at you emotionlessly, standing in the corner of the room.

Most of the time you saw the strange people with cloths over their mouths. They would put painfully cold things on your head and try to pry your mouth open to shove things inside. You fought them the best you could, but you grew weaker by the hour and couldn’t fend them off for long.

The nights were the worst at first; the pain reaching levels you had never experienced, ripping broken screams from your throat. Soon, the nights blended into the days, the agony never ceasing.

You didn’t know why two of the strange people left one day and never came back.

You didn’t hear Yoongi urging them to leave after seeing the rash spreading on your skin, telling them to stay away from the others until they knew they hadn’t caught it, lest the entire village be consumed by typhoid.

_______________________________

Yoongi sat outside of the shack, staring at the lone flower that was growing a few feet in front of the door. Inside, you were screaming.

The only thing he could catch from what you were sobbing was Jungkook’s name.

Apparently you remembered him.

You had been sick for nine days, only growing worse each day.

Taehyung ran up, breathing heavily as he stopped in front of his older friend.

“Jungkook is on the way home, but he doesn’t know.”

“You know this, how?” Yoongi mumbled.

Everyone he had sent out over the past week said they couldn’t find him.

“Someone said they passed him on the road two days ago, he wasn’t in a hurry. He doesn’t know-”

The sound of agonized screaming reached his ears, his eyes widening in horror. He almost ran in, but Yoongi stopped him.

“Don’t.”

“But-”

“There’s nothing we can do now,” Yoongi whispered, grief clear in his eyes, “You cannot risk going in there and catching it. You shouldn’t even be here.”

Taehyung took a faltering step back, shaking as his hands came up to cover his ears at the next round of dreadful sobbing.

“Taehyung, look at me.”

His eyes darted to the older boy.

“You need to get Jungkook, before it’s too late.”

He hated that he understood what was meant by that.

He hated that he understood no one could save you.

Stumbling away, Tae turned and ran, disappearing into the forest.

Yoongi gulped and turned to look at the door, knowing what would meet him when he went back in. Miraculously, he had not caught anything yet.

That did not lessen his fear of entering.

Catching it was not what he feared.

Stepping back into the door, Yoongi’s gaze fell on you instantly.

You were crying quietly, dressed in nothing but a thin nightgown, too weak to rip it off of your otherwise naked body. There was no recognition in your eyes when they landed on him.

“Please,” You whispered hoarsely, throat torn to shreds from the only way you were able to manage the torment you were in, “I need him.”

“I know.”

“Why hasn’t he come for me?”

It was the most you had said in over a week, your exhausted gaze drifting around the room, as if searching once more.

“Why did he leave me?”

Yoongi saw the endless stream of tears on your cheeks, his heart breaking.

Your chest shook with each little breath you took, not enough to keep your lungs full.

“I’m scared.”

You didn’t know who this was in front of you, but there was no one else to talk to.

“I’m so sorry, ____.”

You blinked, a few more tears falling. Your body had been trembling for days, you couldn’t control it. Yoongi noticed that you no longer tried to, you just laid there, shivering.

“He said,” You swallowed, voice shaky, “He’d never leave me.”

“Jungkook is coming, ____. I promise. Just hold on a little longer.”

At his words, he saw a tiny smile on your chapped lips. The indescribable pain you were in was clear, but there was a tiny light in your eyes when you heard his name.

“He’ll come and hold me?” You whispered, eyes locked on the stranger standing next to your bed.

“Yes,” Yoongi choked out, “He will come and hold you until you fall asleep.”

“Oh,” Your eyes shifted, a small smile still on your face as you looked at the dead roses in the vase behind the stranger, “Okay.”

After a few minutes of silence apart from the ragged breaths that escaped you, Yoongi went and sat in a chair at the little table, his head falling into his hands.

“It hurts a bit,” You mumbled, staring at a tiny crack in the ceiling.

He swallowed, knowing that it hurt a lot more than that.

Taehyung ran until he couldn’t breathe, yet he didn’t stop.

He kept running.

Jungkook couldn’t be too far away, he couldn’t be.

It wasn’t too late.

Yoongi stood up and walked to the bed, a horrible pit in his stomach at how silent you had been the past few minutes.

When he got closer, he saw your chest rising and falling slightly. He let out the breath he had been holding, fingers digging into his eyes as he rubbed them.

You weren’t gone yet.

The smallest groan slipped from your lips. He watched you closely for another minute, then he heard the sound of running from outside.

Turning, he hurried out of the shack, but saw no one. He decided to go down the path a little way to see if he could see them approaching.

“Taehyung?” He called out, “Jungkook!”

But there was no answer.

“Jungkook!!”

Jungkook flinched in surprise when he saw Taehyung running towards him, screaming.

He smiled and waved, adjusting the sack on his shoulder that he had been carrying for a while. Maybe he could get Tae to carry it back for him.

But he was only a few minutes from the village, why was he meeting him here?

Taehyung stumbled, falling into the younger, who caught him.

“What’s gotten into-”

“It’s ____!” Tae choked out, coughing violently from not being able to breathe.

“What?” Jungkook’s heart stopped in his chest.

“She’s- she’s sick-”

Taehyung couldn’t even finish his sentence before Jungkook took off running, the things he previously carried lying in a heap on the ground.

Jungkook raced all the way to the village and through it, ignoring the silent stares as he passed.

His heart was in his throat, terror filling him as he ran as fast as he could.

The village was quiet that day.

The people watched as they always did.

But the village was quiet that day.

You opened your eyes slowly; the stranger wasn’t there.

They had left you.

Your bottom lip quivered before you bit it, the excruciating pain in your abdomen silencing your cries; it hurt too bad to scream.

A shaky breath went into your lungs, trickling back out seconds later.

He didn’t come back.

You blinked, a tear rolling down your cheek.

You were all alone.

“Apple. You love me, right?”

His voice echoed in your muddled brain as you stared at the wilted roses across the room.

“Yes,” You whispered weakly, the room turning cold, his presence that you thought was there fading away.

Please don’t leave. I’m scared to be alone.

Fear slowly started to consume you as your eyes drifted around the dark empty place you called home.

Then they closed gently.

________________________________________

When your eyes opened again, there was someone standing there.

You sat up, confused when it didn’t hurt.

It didn’t hurt anymore.

Nothing hurt, at all.

There was an overwhelming sense of calm around you. All of the worries that plagued your mind were gone. You couldn’t remember a single thing that once caused your heart to be so heavy with grief.

Your eyes lifted back to the person standing in the middle of the room. It was a small girl, only five years of age; long black hair falling past her shoulders and doe eyes watching you.

There were feathery yellow wings on her tiny back, and a bunny-like smile on her cute face.

She looked just like somebody you once knew.

You couldn’t remember who it was though.

The girl stretched her hand out towards you and you finally noticed there was another figure there as well, standing next to her.

You couldn’t see their face, only a bright glow shaped like a tall human. The two of them felt familiar somehow, like they had been waiting for you for a long time.

“Come on,” The little girl laughed, “You’re okay now.”

You moved your legs to the side of the bed and climbed out.

There was no hesitation as you walked forward and took her tiny hand, the smile on her face growing even more when you did.

___________________________________

Jungkook rushed through the forest, thin branches scratching his face and arms.

But he didn’t stop.

When he could see home, he pushed himself harder, fear gripping his heart when he saw Yoongi standing just outside of the door, staring at nothing. He pushed past the silent man and stumbled inside, freezing up at the sight that met him.

You were lying in the bed, seemingly asleep, but with face and lips drained of color. The dark lashes resting on your cheeks were a stark contrast.

He stood there, staring at your figure.

“Apple?” His voice sounded far away, not like his own.

Jungkook walked forward, bending down and cupping your cheek with his hand.

“Wake up, Apple,” He whispered, brushing the hair from your face and shaking you gently, “I’m bah-...I’m back.”

When you didn’t respond, he shook you a little harder, his whole body beginning to tremble, “Please,” His voice broke, “Please wake up…I-”

A quiet sob cut him off as his shaking hands cupped your cooling cheeks once more, “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me-”

He carefully lifted your frail body, pulling you into his lap and cradling you in his arms.

Yoongi stepped inside the door.

Taehyung came in right behind him, his eyes closing slowly when he saw Jungkook sitting on the bed and holding you against him in a tight embrace.

“Apple, I’m sorry, pleas-” He whimpered as he held the back of your head with gentle hands, rocking you back and forth, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t there.

He wasn’t there to hold you.

You were cold and alone.

A sob tore itself from his throat as he held you tighter, praying that you could feel his warmth and hear him begging for you to come back.

You weren’t supposed to go without him.

“Jungkook.”

“Please don’t leave me alone,” He pleaded hoarsely.

Maybe, if he begged hard enough, you would listen to him and come back.

“Jungkook.”

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I broke my promise, Apple. I won’t leave you anymore,” Jungkook coughed, choking on his tears, “I won’t leave you ever again, ever.”

Yoongi gulped, unsure what to do. The guilt was eating him alive; he had stepped out only for a minute. Because of him, you died alone.

“I promise we can climb the apple tree whenever you want, you can eat all of the fruit before dinner, I won’t ever say no,” Tears ran down his face as he caressed your hair, just the way you always liked, “I won’t tell you that you should wait until after dinner, I promise. I promise.”

Taehyung put his face in his hands, his stomach turning. It didn’t feel real, you couldn’t be gone.

“You were faster than me.”

Tae looked up to see Jungkook was cradling you like a child, thumb brushing your cheek as he spoke softly, his eyes running over your face.

“You beat me to the swing, fair and square.”

Yoongi sucked in a breath and bit his lip.

Memories of that day floated through his mind; the way you shrieked with laughter as you climbed onto the swing, too small to get on easily.

“Push me! Push me!”

He could hear your tiny giggles clear as day.

Jungkook rested his forehead against yours, his breath warming your lips as his hot tears fell onto cold cheeks, “I love you,” he spoke under his breath, for only you to hear, “I loved you since the first moment I saw you. I can't live without you.”

Maybe, if he said it enough times, you would listen to him and come back.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi choked out, “We need to move her.”

There was no reply.

Taehyung swallowed the heavy lump in his throat, “Yoongi-”

“It’s still contagious,” The older boy whispered, “We can’t let him be with her for too long.”

“But-”

Yoongi turned on him, anger and sorrow lit up in his eyes, “Get him out of here.”

Taehyung clenched his jaw, then walked around him, over to where Jungkook was still whispering to you.

“Jungkook,” He took a shuddering breath, “I’m sorry.”

It was like he couldn’t hear a word the older boy was saying, tears falling endlessly as he held you close, continuing to sway you just a little.

Taehyung moved down to remove one of Jungkook’s hands from you, but the younger’s grip tightened.

“Jungkook-” Tae strengthened his own efforts, finally prying his hands from you and trying to pull him up.

“Let go of me!” Jungkook screamed, ripping his arm away and moving to hold you again. He kept you in his lap, arms around you protectively, refusing to let either of them close.

Yoongi stepped in, “Jungkook, you need to let go-”

“No!”

“Let her go,” Yoongi’s voice cracked as he struggled with pulling you out of his arms while Taehyung grabbed Jungkook.

“Stop it!” Jungkook was bawling his eyes out frantically as he reached for you, “Don’t take her! Please!! Yoongi, Yoongi, please!!”

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s chest, not letting him get a chance to fight your cousin, who was gently laying your body on the bed again and covering you with the sheet.

“Please!!!” Jungkook was screaming at the top of his lungs, heart crushed far beyond repair, “Please don’t take her!!”

“Get him out!”

Taehyung dragged Jungkook kicking and screaming from the shack.

In the tussle, they knocked into the small table, the vase teetering for a moment before falling to the floor, a long crack running through it as the dead roses lay scattered about.

“I hate you! I hate you!”

He didn’t know who he was screaming at.

But maybe, if he screamed loud enough, you would hear him.

Maybe, you would come back.

_____________________________

It was the year 1523 when you left him.

You were nineteen years old.

Jungkook sat curled up in the corner of the shack, legs tucked up to his chest as he stared at the broken vase on the floor. It had been three days since you passed, he hadn’t slept. All he had done was sit in the corner and stare at nothing.

He shut them all out.

They had taken you away from him.

He never saw you again.

Except in his mind.

His days and nights were haunted by the last time he had spoken with you.

“Is that all I get?”

Your voice echoed in his mind, the smile on your face burned into his bruised and bleeding heart. He didn’t kiss you, he didn’t tell you he loved you.

All he did was leave.

Jungkook closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, a tear sliding down his cheek and dripping from his chin.

He would be found only hours later, still curled up in the corner.

It was a broken heart, they said.

It took three agonizing days after your death for him to follow.

For a human heart can only take so much pain, before it can’t.

__________________________________

“How utterly wretched.”

Jungkook opened his eyes to see a tall figure standing over him as he sat in the corner of the dark shed.

The only thing he felt while looking at the demon who was staring at him with mock pity, was an empty hatred.

He whispered hoarsely, “You said she would live.”

Lucifer leaned down, a sneer on his face, “I only said I would get rid of her disease. Typhoid fever is a nasty business, isn’t it? Strange that she was the only one in the village to catch it after miraculously helping the boy. A real tragedy.”

Jungkook just stared at him.

“A life for a life, that’s what you told me,” He finally spat, the anger beginning to spread through his body.

“Ah yes,” The Devil chuckled and rocked back on his heels, as if the whole ordeal was quite amusing to him, “See, we didn’t agree on a third life though. I was far too nice to let you get off so easily with conceiving the infant.”

Jungkook gulped.

“Oh,” The miserable creature’s face fell and he pouted, “That one didn’t make it either, did it?”

“She,” Jungkook hissed, “Her name is Aera-”

“Well, it was going to be,” Lucifer threw his head back and laughed, “Rest assured I had nothing to do with that unfortunate incident.”

It was silent for a moment, then Jungkook spoke up quietly, “You were never going to save her, were you?” His eyes were locked on the dead roses, “You lied.”

“And you,” Lucifer crouched and leaned close, “Fell for it.”

Jungkook’s eyes closed as he did his best to conjure up an image of you.

You were somewhere safe and warm, where the sun kissed your cheeks and danced upon your fingers.

Somewhere the apples were sweet and crisp, where the water was never too cold.

There was a sharp pain on the skin of his outer right bicep, making him grit his teeth as the demon laughed darkly.

“Look at how ruined you are,” The voice whispered with shameless glee, “All because of love.”

You were somewhere you could fly with the clouds, never alone.

Somewhere the roses would always bloom.

“Don’t bother.”

Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at the demon.

“She isn’t anywhere pleasant.”

His heart shattered into a million little pieces.

“She’s somewhere cold,” Lucifer stared at him, “Stuck alone in the dark, full of unbearable torment, just like her last moments..”

Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat.

“All because you left her. All because of Him.”

The young man’s eyes were filled with tears of anguish that slowly ebbed into a deep resentment with each word the Devil spoke.

“He did this to you, you know that right?” Lucifer smirked, “You were created by Him. He made you, so that you could suffer.”

The despair clung to his heart like a lead weight, another burning scratch going across his skin, right where the pounding muscle lay.

“He created you to love her and lose her. Tell me; was it worth it, Jungkook?”

The torment wouldn’t come to an end.

The deal was struck and the punishment would never lessen.

Even without understanding why, the agonizing torture of his heart ripping itself to shreds over and over again, would never ever stop.

For a human heart can only take so much pain, before it can’t.

But the heart of a demon can never die.

________________________________________

a/n: tysm for reading, your thoughts are always welcome

#jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook demon au #jungkook smut #bts fluff #bts #bts reactions #bts angst #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts demon au #bts smut #demon!jungkook

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221bluescarf · 5 months

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You know what's really not helpful sometimes?

Minimizing someone's symptoms

"I heard voices" ⁠—don't say oh it was probably the TV or, you know, the walls are really thin. Maybe you heard someone...

"I thought invisible people watched me in the shower, so I showered with clothes on" ⁠—don't say well that's normal, I used to be uncomfortable changing in front of photos because it feels like they can see me. I just started telling myself "whatever" and got over it

There's 2 reasons for this (probably more, but I'm focusing on 2)

1. It can make it even harder to distinguish reality.

Could it be the radio? Yes it's within the realm of possibility. But if I tell you I'm hearing voices and you dismiss it as a real sound... Now when I hear voices I think: Well, is it real? Is there someone there? There must be a real sound or someone in the house. He said it's not a hallucination. Are they real? Are the demons here? It might even encourage a delusion

2. A lot of us are already have imposter syndrome or are in denial of our illness

We are either inclined to believe we're not sick at all, or we are afraid we're faking or exaggerating. If you try to normalize our experiences... maybe it's not really psychosis? Maybe I wasn't having an episode? Maybe I'm not sick at all!

Is it possible someone could mistake a common or "normal" thought/fear for psychosis or paranoia? Yeah maybe. But those people aren't getting diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Anyway. That's just my thoughts.

#221bluescarf.txt #schizospec #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #psychosis #advocacy #stigma #support

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annabannnananana · 6 days

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jinx headcanons i rlly wanna post 💣💫🔫☁️💀⚡️⚔️

• jinx actually likes chuck/theriam but no one can tell if she actually does or if she’s just being malicious lmao

•has bpd, adhd, c-ptsd, and sleep paralysis (poor girl)

•11-12 in the first act and like 18-19 in act 2 and 3

• has tried dating but it’s never worked and stopped trying once she turned like 16 or 17

• i think she’s scared of getting intimate with people she could hurt

• bi because i Said So

• she can't go to sleep unless there's music playing

• ‘get jinxed’ is a song in the arcane universe, and took inspiration from jinx herself, after being nearly killed trying to destroy a shimmer shipment

• doesn’t like alcohol (but silco wouldn’t let her drink anyway)

• jinx chooses not to make friends in fear of killing them, notice how spends so much time by herself

• jinx wanted ekko to survive the explosion- she could have easily pinned the bomb on him

• jinx knew who the firelight leader was but she never told silco- whether she wanted to let ekko live, or she wanted to be able to kill him herself, no one knows (personally i think the latter- notice how angry she looks at him in ep4!)

• also she used to have a crush on ekko

• had he survived, she and mylo would have bonded over feeling overlooked by vander

• jinx tries to climb as high as she possibly can and just. sits there doing whatever and hanging out sometimes. just to prove she can do it now

• jinx also leaves vi a present for every holiday. nobody knows how she’s getting the addresses but she does send her a genuine gift every time, and there’s very rarely a catch or twist to

• hanging out in benzo's shop with ekko, is where she learned to differentiate between what's valuable and what is not and that's why vi trusted her with that

• she only ever wanted to be useful to the people she loves- act 1: “i can help them/i only wanted to help!” as jinx: doesn’t care abt the shimmer business, but she’s do anything to be helpful to silco

• powder was already suffering from mental illness and inferiority complex (the latter mostly because of mylo) before everything that happened. you can see it in the way she bases her self-worth on how useful she is to the group, and also her breakdown when vi told her to stay back. the explosion is what ultimately caused her downward spiral, but she showed symptoms of mental illness prior to it

• powder was already a cruel and deranged girl, shown by her infatuation with weaponry and building weapons to kill- like her nail bombs

• speaking of, her infatuation with explosives began as an interest in gunsmithing (mostly out of a misguided belief that a gun could have saved her parents) that never amounted to anything but a mess of split barrels and burnt hand carved grips before vi convinced her to try skipping the middle step and make straight up explosives. after those didn't work either is when mylo started to call her a jinx

• she likes explosions because the ringing in her ears drowns out the voices in her head

•her blue smoke tattoos are a cry for help to vi- she never set off the flare so her other way of setting it off was to get the tattoos •silco braids jinx's hair whenever it grows too long. it's like meditation for him and allows him to reassess the world about him as he washes, combs and weaves her ever lengthening hair and admire the perfection that is his loving, growing daughter •this is the only time jinx allows her guard down around others. it's the only time that she can close her eyes and yet not hear the voices of her demons without loud music or explosions to drown them out

• jinx/powder are not anyone different. jinx is what powder would become anyway + mental issues due to her past. she would always be the cruel, chaotic, bomb mechanic girl. of course she would be better mentally if she didnt have her traumas and had a healthy enviroment but she is who she is.

• so powder is not gone, she just grew up. "jinx" is just her way to deal with her traumas, which clearly is not working well. this dealing method was told her by silco who believes he was reborn or something, leaving his weak past behind. "jinx" is an attempt of doing that but it doesnt work because their traumas are not the same as silco thinks so.

anyways that’s all for now I’ll prob add more later but I need a nap so bye y’all cya <3

#jinx arcane #jinx #arcane netflix #arcane league of legends #arcane #arcane headcanon #jinx headcanon #banana talks #banana writes

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jazminrhode1 · 8 months

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Hi friend! Could you write about Matt and a reader who have both been working on their mental health and they both notice how much happier and calm the other one looks. They’re each others rocks and support each other no matter what. Super fluffy

Stand By You Matt Sturniolo x Reader One Shot

Summary: You and Matt help each other through a tough time and come out the other side.

Word Count: 771 words

WARNING(S): Depression, Anxiety, Mental Health, Symptoms, Recovery.

If you are struggling or need support, please reach out to someone. Here are some organizations that could help: https://checkpointorg.com/global/

Matt had always been there. Ever since you were kids he was the person who you hid behind when Chris was chasing you in the playground or when Nick went on a rampage. He was the person that you looked for in every room you walked into. When you needed him, he was there. And for him, you were too.

For the last few years, there were dark clouds in your head and it felt like you were fighting just to catch your breath. In those moments, Matt was the only person who understood what you were going through. For a while, it felt like you were the only two people in the world that were struggling and you clung onto each other just to keep your heads above the water.

When times got rough, Matt gave you a reason to keep going. For him, you were the air in his lungs and the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Through words unsaid, you both knew that you were never going to be alone. You knew you were always going to stand by each other.

It had started to feel like the spark you once had was fading and no one else could see. You were scared that no matter how much you tried or how much you wanted to get better, no amount of therapy was going to pull you out of this silent hell you were living in.

If you couldn’t do it for yourself, you wanted to do it for him, for your family, for your friends. You didn’t want them to worry about you anymore; you didn’t want to be controlled by it anymore. Just when you thought it would never get better, things slowly began to change.

After you had long resigned to the idea that you would never be okay again, you started to feel okay. Brushing your teeth and having a shower didn’t feel like an impossible feat. You felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. You weren’t scared or tired - you weren’t high on life - but, you were okay.

You didn’t know if it was the change of seasons or the chemicals rebalancing in your brain but, you saw your life in color for the first time in a long time and the weight that had been pressing itself on your chest had begun to evaporate.

You weren’t sure if things would have been different if you didn’t have Matt standing by your side. You didn’t know if he felt the same way. All you knew was that as you sat there beside him on the edge of the pool at your apartment complex, he looked happier than he had looked in a long time. There was an ease about him that had been dormant for a long time.

The light was back in his eyes when he asked, “How are you doing, y/n?”

You said, “I’m doing really good.” A smile grew across his face as he took your hand in his.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to hear you say that,” he replied.

You’d been waiting a long time to feel that way. You had never lied to Matt, you were always honest. He was the only person that you didn’t feel like you needed to pretend to be okay in front of. He was the only person you could be yourself with, demons and all.

“You’re looking good, kid,” you said as you laid your head on his shoulder. “I’m feeling good,” he said with a sigh of relief.

“Thank you for helping me find my way back to being myself,” you said.

He took a deep breath, “Always,” he promised as he placed a kiss on your forehead, “Thank you for helping me to catch my breath.”

It had been a while since you and Matt had been free from the dark clouds hanging over your heads. It was nice.

As you both looked over at Nick and Chris fighting in the pool, you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Today was the first day you didn’t envy their larger-than-life attitudes.

“Come on!” Chris yelled as he climbed on Nick’s shoulders, “Let’s wrestle!”

Matt rolled his eyes as he jumped in the pool and helped you up onto his shoulders. “I hope you’re ready to lose,” he yelled as he made his way to them.

Chris was already slipping off Nick's shoulders, a child-like grin spread across his face. “You good?” Chris asked, grabbing your hands. All you did was nod. You didn’t want to think about the past or worry about the future anymore, you just wanted to live in the moment for a while.

#Matt #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matthew bernard sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo imagine #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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aemiron-main · 9 months

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Henry Creel, Seizures, The Exorcist, and Roland Doe: Did Henry Creel Have Epilepsy?

So! I’m wondering if Henry had epilepsy. And before we dive into it, a few things to note:

Not all epilepsy is photosensitive epilepsy/triggered by flashing lights

Not all seizures are grand mal seizures (the ones where people are laying down jerking). Absence and temporal lobe seizures are far more subtle & can just look like staring into space.

Some people have a combination of grand mal seizures and other more subtle types of seizures.

So, first of all, “The Exorcist” is namedropped regarding the Creels:

And we also have Will’s S2 seizure on the field where he has SO many Direct exorcist parallels during both that scene & his cabin scene “exorcism”

Which, those Will exorcism parallels made me think “well what if Henry had a seizure during his exorcism- but what would cause it? he’s not possessed the way Will was” but then it hit me: what if its the other way around and the seizures caused the exorcism?

And we’ll come back to Will’s seizure later, but focusing on The Exorcist for now, Reagan, the girl in The Exorcist, has a seizure.

And historically, exorcisms were frequently done on kids who had epilepsy/seizures, which were mistaken for demonic possession. But rather than speaking about history in a broad sense, let’s look at a specific example- Roland Doe, the boy whose story literally inspired The Exorcist.

And hell, The Exorcist was specifically inspired by the NEWSPAPER ARTICLE about Roland's exorcism, which has me staring DIRECTLY at the Weekly Watcher article that talks about the exorcism at the Creel house.

And get this-

This is EXACTLY what happened with Henward- his parents hoped that moving to Hawkins/a change of scenery would cure him, but it did not.

And after all, what were they trying to cure him of? What symptoms was he exhibiting? They never actually tell us what was “wrong” with him. Like, sure, he’s autistic, but there’s not many “symptoms” of autism that Henry displays as a child that are disruptive enough to have him sent to doctors & moving to an entirely new town in the hopes of curing him.

What actual event/symptoms made Virginia and Victor go “okay, yeah, this boy needs to see a doctor” AND also had them move to a new town (JUST like what happened with Roland Doe as a result of his seizures) in hopes that a change of scenery would cure Henry???? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was seizures.

And his powers don’t seem to have activated until he was in Hawkins, so it likely wasn’t those.

And also, Henward says that all of the teachers and doctors claimed he was broken:

Which, epilepsy can cause issues with learning and retaining information, and if Henry was having something like absence seizures in class, too, that would also likely freak teachers out/have them see him as “broken,” because he would seem outwardly fine/just be staring into space, but wouldn’t be able to respond to them calling his name/asking him things.

And going back to the talk of being “cured,” Epilepsy is also referred to as The Sacred Disease, which would also tie into all of the religious imagery with the Creels.

And we also have the auditory and visual hallucinations that can often be part of epilepsy. Starting with the auditory hallucinations, those are often likened to sounding like radios- which would be an interesting connection to all of the radios in the show, especially the radio with the Creels.

(And this is speaking from personal experience, but, it definitely does sound like a radio like not just “a radio is the closest comparison” but instead “i genuinely believed it was the sound of a radio/sounds like what we heard with the Creel radio malfunctioning where you can't quite clearly make out any of the channels”. I was actually scared of the sound of radios/radio static as a kid because I used to hear this sort of stuff all the time as a result of having epilepsy.)

And there’s also these drawings of visual epilepsy hallucinations, which James @henrysglock pointed out to me.

And when we look at Henward’s shadow monster drawing and all of the elder brain/brain imagery in the show and the mindflayer being named, well, a mindflayer, and DND mindflayers being controlled by an elder brain & the whole "cutting the brain off from the body"/directly referring to the mindflayer as a brain.... the vibes are definitely very similar.

It's also very interesting to me that the drawings of the tunnels that Will draws before having a seizure/draws as a result of what was CAUSING his seizures are directly paralleled to Henry drawing the mindflayer (Henward's mindflayer drawing style & the medium he uses actually resembles the tunnel drawings more than it does Will's own mindflayer drawing, especially with Will's frantic scratching during the tunnel drawings and Henward's frantic scratching during the mindflayer drawings).

And like I said, Will's tunnel drawings were caused by the same thing causing his seizure- so many Henward's mindflayer drawing was caused by the seizures as well- was Henward seeing epileptic hallucinations that would later inspire him to shape the mindflayer/shadow monster the way that he did?

And again, this part is personal experience, but as a kid, part what I would hallucinate was silver spiders hanging down from door frames (and also spiders crawling all over me but those only happened at night whereas the hanging spiders were throughout the day/constant and yes, I'm 1000% sure they weren't just nightmares). Which, of course, the Duffers aren't inspired by me/don't know about what I saw, but I'm not the only person with epilepsy who's reported seeing spiders (here and here and here), which makes me wonder if it was something they came across when researching seizures/epilepsy for the show & may have influenced the decision to include all of the spider imagery with Henry.

And going back to Will’s S2 seizure, we also have Will's "now memories," which, interestingly enough, they chose to have Mike ask Will if he sees anything in his "now memories" RIGHT before Will has a seizure. Which is interesting because strong feelings of deja vu tend to precede seizures, and "now memories" are very similar to deja vu/feeling like you've seen something before but can't quite place where/aren't really sure if it's Your memories.

El also has a seizure in NINA (this is before her cardiac arrest scene) and in Surfer Boy Pizza, which are both paralleled to Will’s seizure (and yes, El was also choking, but her body did seem to be having a seizure, and it's shot with the same sort of pose and rotating camera movement as Will's seizure and El's NINA seizure).

And we also have the stroke imagery with El and the fact that strokes can cause epilepsy AND people with epilepsy are at a higher risk for strokes.

Which has me staring at Henward’s “it almost killed me” scene and how his fainting scene is paralleled to El fainting in 1979 & then El waking up without her memories/with the sort of stroke stuff that Brenner talks about.

And the focus on all of the flashing lights in the show too?? NGL, I would laugh a bit if Henry’s powers started flashing the lights during his exorcism & that triggered a seizure. It would also tie into him just. Staring sometimes/being seen as weird for that because that’s also often a part of epilepsy/absence seizures.

And even if I’m wrong about the seizure thing (which again, it’s not smthn I’m super firm on), the Duffers DEFINITELY know about Roland Doe. Roland DEFINITELY inspired Henry- that bit about what happened to Roland with his family moving towns to cure him isn't in The Exorcist but IS identical to what happened with Henry, so it's not even something that the Duffers could've just pulled from The Exorcist, because it's actually one of the parts of Roland's story that didn't end up in the Exorcist movie.

And speaking of movies, we also have One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest on the S4 board. And in One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, Sefelt has epilepsy and has a seizure:

And also, we have Henward’s straitjacket, which I talked about in this post.

We literally see him wearing the straitjacket on screen- but why was he wearing it? Why not just drug him if they wanted to keep him under control? And what good would a straitjacket do against a child with psionic powers anyway? It wouldn't have even worked to keep him under control! UNLESS the powers weren’t a concern (because he was unconscious/seizing) but the flailing/jerking from a grand mal seizure was making him difficult to transport/deal with.

And this is more of a minor sidenote, but something that's interesting to me is how quick Victor is to picking up Henry, almost like it's a habit. We see him pick Henry up in the dining room AND the foyer, and it's not something we ever see him do with Alice, so it's not just something that Victor Does With His Kids. But if Henry was prone to seizures and fainting, it would make sense that Victor is used to picking him up/carrying him around.

And Victor was also told that Henry was in a coma after fainting and then died- and again, speaking from personal experience here (and research), having a seizure can put you into a coma which may result in your death. So, I wonder if that's the explanation that they gave to Victor/if that was the official cause of death for Henry. Which would also make sense if, like I said, the straitjacket was put onto Henry because he was seizing, and Victor saw it happen.

I also wonder if Victor saw Henry still just sitting at the table staring & thought he was having another seizure (an absence seizure rather than a grand mal one, which would mostly just look like blank staring/exactly what Henry does in this scene) & grabbed him, especially since stress can trigger seizures, and well, watching Virginia die would've been stressful. I'm not saying that Henry was having a seizure in this scene persay, but rather that Victor may have believed he was/may have mad the connection that Henry's "fits"/moments of blank staring are connected to stress.

And the jerking motions and rolled back eyes during Vecna visions/his attacks are interesting considering how they resemble a grand mal seizure. Like, look at how Fred is posed the same way was Will was during Will's seizure:

And the same gaping mouth imagery:

And then the jerking motions:

Long story short: I won't be surprised at all if Henry/Edward had epilepsy and experienced a mixture of various types of seizures.

#stranger things #henry creel #creel family #edward creel #henry creel epilepsy

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misc-obeyme · 7 months

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How do you think characters like lucifer, beel and diavolo would be with and adhd!mc that always have everything messy around and can do so many things with early planning without crying of frustration

Oh, funny you should ask, anon! I also have ADHD and thanks to that, I am very forgetful. The very first headcanon post I ever wrote was about a forgetful MC and that was very much based on my ADHD tendencies. You can read it here and there's a link at the bottom to the part 2 with the dateables.

Of course that post mostly focused on the forgetful part of ADHD. If we're talking messy and requiring a schedule, I haven't gotten into those kinds of symptoms.

Of the three characters you mentioned, Lucifer would struggle the most. I think he would be really irritated with an MC who is messy or who has trouble sticking to a schedule. So I think MC would have to sit him down and be like, here's the deal. It's not my fault, this is just how some humans are made. And then he'd switch gears. Lucifer is smart, but he also doesn't have the hang ups the human world does about a diagnosis like this. He has no prior stereotypes of people with ADHD. He's not gonna just go okay MC is lazy. He's gonna go okay this is a weird human trait, I can work with this. And then he would work with you on it. I personally am very good at dealing with my ADHD nowadays, so I would be able to tell him exactly what I need. But some people might need to try some stuff until they figure it out. Since MC is living with Lucifer at the House of Lamentation, this might include things like keeping their room clean, what sort of chores they're assigned, and successfully maintaining a schedule for RAD.

Beel is less concerned about that stuff than Lucifer is. He might not even notice that MC has any such issues. If MC is messy, it's no big deal to him. He just accepts that MC is messy. He's not out here wondering why MC is messy or anything else. However, if MC tells him about it, he'd also go out of his way to make things easier for them. Just ask, he's ready to help.

Diavolo might not notice at first, either. But he would hear about it from Lucifer. And I think his main concern would be accommodating an MC with ADHD at RAD. He would hear about it if you had issues with being late or turning in your assignments or forgetting when a test was coming, etc. And if you explained to him, hey, this is what's going on, I think he'd be like well okay what do you need? Diavolo just wants MC to do well!

I think Lucifer would be the only one likely to end up crying in frustration and we all know he's too prideful to actually cry lol.

So in general, because demons are less likely to have preconceived ideas about ADHD, they would probably just do what you needed. I think they would listen to you and do their best to make things work for you. Because in the end, all of these demons love you and they wouldn't want you to struggle.

#just my opinion on it anyway #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #obey me beelzebub #obey me lucifer #anon asks #misc answers

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dujour13 · 2 months

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2, 22, 35 and I for Sia?

Thanks Seren 💕💕 I love the first one especially

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Easy as water running downhill. Laughter is his natural state. I feel like it’s an azata power to defuse tension and soothe trauma with laughter, and he has one of those contagious laughs that you hear over the crowd in a bar and you can’t help at least smiling. Woljif cracks him up constantly with his stories and quips. Aivu makes him laugh, Seelah makes him laugh, even Regill makes him laugh. In fact it was suspicious that Early Sunset didn’t make him laugh much, at least until later.

He even laughs in the face of danger sometimes, which I think actually helps lead the Free Crusade to victory. Demons have no clue how to deal with him.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Inward. If someone he’s sweet on is looking elsewhere, Siavash takes it as a fault of his own. If he thinks he still has a chance, he’ll turn up the charm.

He’s not possessive because he respects people’s freedom and wouldn’t want to hold anyone back from what makes them happy. Even if it makes him sad.

On the other hand if he sees someone he cares about flirting with others in a way that seems insincere—like they’re doing it to get attention, or doing it to toy with people, or because that’s the only kind of affection they know—he would see it as a symptom that something’s wrong and maybe intervene in his own way. Try to gently convince them there’s a better way (him).

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Oh he is just as excited as you are. He’ll get Woljif chattering about investment scams and just sit there dreamy-eyed not understanding 90% of it but totally on board. Same with Nenio. Oh gods that reminds me. He did everything she asked of him “for science” just to humor her and to see where it was all headed. Very very supportive.

I. Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

The azata mythic path is so essential to who he is that I can’t really imagine moving him into another universe. In fact in my canon he’s dead in a ditch outside Kenabres in every timeline except the one where he becomes KC.

(I wrote a Commander as Companion for him once but it fell flat for me. He kind of needs to have an unlikely leadership role and mystical magical powers to be himself. Probably because part of his character concept is what an average guy he is until the whole Crusade thing happens.)

I do have other “universes” or timelines within Pathfinder where I imagine his story took a different turn though…

#thanks for the ask!!#serenbach86 #siavash

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echo-of-sounds · 2 years

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chronic illness/physical disability

How Aizawa, Toshinori, and Fatgum would help and support their partner who's physically disabled/has a chronic illness.

I really wanted to write these because I see so few posts for readers with physical issues. It's always about mental issues. And like with my other headcanons, I can mostly only speak to my experiences. It'd be impossible for me to try to encompass every illness and physical disability as there are just way too many.

Warnings: a bunch of medical stuff and a little about past not-so-great relationships, but it's all rather vague

Aizawa Shouta

At the beginning of your relationship or before you started dating, Shouta didn’t think much about your physical and/or chronic illnesses. They’re a part of you, and like with all other parts of your life, he accepts it when he decides he wants to be in a relationship with you. He’ll also educate himself on whatever you’re dealing with, so he isn’t an ignorant boyfriend.

He knows you don't need him to survive. You survived your life without him until this point. You don't need someone pestering you about meds. If you thought a heating pad would help, you'd get it or ask him to. He's there to help you when you need it, not be overly motherly. The times you do need help to get breakfast or to grab your afternoon meds, of course, he'll help, bringing you a light snack and ginger ale as well to get something in your stomach. (If he's home. He's busy and sadly isn't home most of the week.)

He doesn't judge or demonize the number of medications you need. It doesn't mean you’re drug-seeking or make you some sort of nightmare to deal with. If anything, they help by limiting your pain, discomfort, anxiety, and other symptoms. He’s rather indifferent to those that vilify the use of meds, no matter the amount. Some people need them to survive. It’s a fact.

One part he hates the most is how you think and talk about yourself. No, you're not useless. No, you're not a burden or shameful or disgusting, or unlovable. Simply existing with a mobility aid isn't taking up space. Needing help to fold the sheets isn't belittling. Asking for help isn't weak. Wearing pajamas for four days doesn't make you gross. You're struggling. You're sick. It doesn't matter what you get done in a day because you still have value by just being here. Yes, even the times you can't do things because of your disability. Caring, thought-out words do not come easy to him, but he certainly tries his hardest for you.

Chronic illnesses and physical disabilities leave you with a rather complicated relationship with your body. You feel okayish on Monday, fine for the most part on Wednesday, then completely hate how it's unable to function on Friday. You glare at all the injection and laparoscopic scars. And cuddling doesn't help when you feel physically gross, body cramping, sweating, making sounds you don't want to hear, let alone your goddamn partner. It's just embarrassing.

But Shouta isn't needlessly judgemental. Some things are simply out of your control. Surgery scars, implanted ports, ostomies, and splints are all things that have improved your health or saved your life. None of them are bad or ugly, and he hates feeling you curl away from him during one of those bad days. He resists pulling you back and asks if you want to talk. He may not be the best at reciprocating the delicate conversation, but the warm hand holding your side lets you know he’s there to listen to all the fears and anxieties.

While Sho’s spent some time in hospitals/at doctor’s appointments, they aren’t things he’s dealt with for prolonged periods for ongoing issues. Dealing with shitty doctors is a new experience for him. And it’s worse because it isn’t him dealing with it, it’s you. Getting a call from you at two on a Wednesday, crying your eyes out because of how little this ‘specialist’ cared about your problems and pain, ticks him off. He can’t just leave his work, but he tries to hurry home after, worried about how the third appointment like this’ll affect your mental health, possibly spiraling your depression further.

A horrible side effect of dealing with chronic physical problems is how it causes and worsens mental health. You have to spend literally years listening to people claim the disabled are just collateral damage, not worth saving. Chronic exhaustion, like the name implies, is fucking exhausting to deal with. People don't understand it. They think it’s ‘just being tired’ when it’s neverending joint and muscle pain, bodily weakness, brain fog, confusion, and you physically cannot get out of bed for fear of collapsing in the hall. They throw out lame 'advice' of "Try working out!" or compare it to depression when they’re two completely separate issues. It wears you down after years and years, leaving you hopeless and suicidal on the worst days.

Shouta can relate to this a bit. While his tiredness comes from a mental health angle from the combo of two jobs, stress, and general insomnia, and while it isn't the same as chronic fatigue, he does understand the struggles. It's hard to function when everything inside you is just too fucking exhausted. And all the annoying, unsolicited advice about 'taking melatonin' or 'trying coffee' only makes you want to throw something at their face because 'no, a fucking massage won't help and your essential oils are more than useless.'

He quickly becomes an angry partner. Not towards you or in an abusive/negative way. It’s towards other people, possibly snapping at the nosy woman who asked why you need a wheelchair if you can technically walk or at the doctor who brushed off you fainting for the third day in a row as a period issue. It surprises him a little just how angry he can be at others over you.

Before you do anything sexual together, Sho's gonna need to talk with you. He's naturally rather rough, and he doesn't want to risk hurting you with a position that'll subluxate your knee or make him penetrate too harshly. It’ll definitely take some exploring to find what’s best and pleasurable for both of you.

Though, that conversation can open up a can of worms he wasn't exactly expecting. Certain people just don’t understand how physical issues impact sex. Having one of those people as a past partner leaves lasting impressions. They made you feel bad when you couldn’t have sex for over a month, say it's unfair like you're punishing them, and act like their sexual satisfaction is more important than your physical and mental health. And when you are ready, it hurts, so you have to stop, making them mad all over again because "you should be able to push through the pain." Sho comforts you through the sensitive reminiscing, promising he’ll never be like that and that your comfort is always his priority.

Sex can also be embarrassing. You have to stop because of sudden lower GI issues. Or he'll pull out to see thick, black discharge on him despite not being on your period. He tells you to stop with the apologies. They're unnecessary. Your body works differently, maybe wrong, but you don't need to apologize for needing to stop. Your health is more important. Besides, if he really needs to get off, he can just do it himself. It's not a big deal to him.

Yagi Toshinori

Toshinori’s disabled, missing organs, and deals with the same chronic pain and vomiting. He understands the struggles of physical health issues and how different and agonizing they are compared to mental health problems. And when his flared up, he had no one. He pushed through it no matter how badly his stomach hurt, no matter how nauseous or lightheaded or disgusting he felt, and no matter how much he dry-heaved in an alley till his ribs strained.

It's difficult to know how much to share about your symptoms, particularly at the beginning of the relationship. Share too much, you might scare them off by appearing like you're too much trouble to deal with. Share too little, you risk overexerting yourself by hiding symptoms, especially the 'uglier' ones. Thankfully, Toshi makes it pretty easy to talk to him about anything. He's kind, patient, and with his injuries, has his fair share of symptoms. Depending on yours and how open you're comfortable being, he'll understand if you slowly talk about it, symptom by symptom, as the relationship grows, or if you just want to flat-out say your diagnosis(es) to get it over with.

Since he has to pay attention to his diet so, it's natural for him to also pay attention to his partner’s. It's not a judgmental thing. It's him making sure you've eaten recently and had enough water. When he cooks, he'll always place some aside for later for you. It can become nearly impossible to cook or prepare food during flair-ups, so if having casserole leftovers or finger sandwiches in the fridge helps get something nutritional into you, then he'll gladly do it.

One of his go-to ways to help is to offer to go for a walk. Who knows? After a long day of laying on the couch, some cool evening air might help. But he also knows not to push you too far. If you truly can't, then that's okay. If you can only make it to the end of the block or ten minutes, that's okay too. You tried. If you get outside and realize that it does help, he'll walk for another forty minutes if it's what you decide.

He's great with doctor appointments! He's suffered through enough of them, and he's more than willing to accompany you to one. The only thing that'll throw a wrench in his experience is how some doctors ignore your problems, even if it causes you significant distress. It'd take a reminder that he's a Hero, and used to be the top Hero of the country. Of course, doctors took his issues seriously. For others, it can take numerous appointments to find one doctor to listen to you. And it's always worse if you weren't born a man, overweight by the slightest amount, and/or have mental health issues as doctors like brushing things off as anxiety or weight problems, or flat-out ignoring you if it's related to your uterus, not bothering to mark anything down or refer you for any tests.

Toshi isn't above seeking out a highly-regarded doctor for you. He's seen his fair share of specialists and will ask around, maybe even pulling the "Yes, I'm All Might. Yes, they're my partner" to get you in faster. It's not about making you feel incapable, but more so about making sure you can get the proper care you need from someone willing to give it. He loves you and hates watching you suffer in any way. He won't stand for anyone ignoring or dismissing you.

After sitting in the damn MRI machine for longer than you prepared for and dealing with all the anxiety while you wait for the follow-up, you're left looking at a picture of your brain littered with so many white matter abnormalities it looks like a fucking dalmatian, mirroring stroke patients brains. Then they tell you how infarct-like lesions increase your chances of a stroke and that migraines may cause structural changes in the brain, and you just shut down for the rest of the day, dissociating away from the scary words — they too many horrible possibilities in your future that you don't want to think about.

Then it gets worse because your illness(es) gets worse, or you're diagnosed with another thing that affects all your other things. You feel stuck in your own damn body, barely able to function even with handfuls of medications, becoming bedridden if you accidentally miss a dose or the pharmacy or insurance company messes up.

Toshi's dealt with those low odds, those shitty feelings, and the self-hatred. You feel like it's somehow your fault — like you're a moral failure. Maybe if you did something different, ate different foods, lived someplace else, took different vitamins, life would just be different. But you can't know the answer to that. You're here, and you have to deal with the problems. And he'll always do his best to support you. He can't take the pain away or fix whatever's wrong in your GI system, but he will always support you, pulling from his own experiences to help.

Occasionally, it feels impossible to feel good in any way. If you're struggling for a long while, Toshi offers sex as a means to help. It isn't a straightforward question. He’s a shade too timid for that. It’s him helping you wash up in the shower after spending three days stuck in bed. You can relax as he softly runs the soap over your body, carefully massaging your sides, your breasts, your clit among the suds. You're always able to say no, no reason necessary. He knows physical health impacts libido. But sometimes, getting those endorphins running is what’s needed to stop the pain. If you want to continue, he lays in bed with you, between your legs, softly sucking your clit till you find a calming release. Sometimes, it leads to more. Sometimes, it doesn't. He doesn't care much either way. He only hopes you'll get a bit of relief.

Penetrative sex can be uncomfortable, if not nearly impossible. You worry you're never going to experience painless sex and be able to enjoy the intimacy you want with the man you love. If you go to pelvic floor therapy or have exercises, he'd be happy and very willing to get involved. Yeah, it might be embarrassing the first few times, but his want to make sure sex is enjoyable for you overrides all that. He may even surprise you with a higher quality dilater set (something he'd easily drop three-hundred dollars for) or treat you to a loving and newly-learned pelvic floor massage, nearly making you cry because for once in your life, sex is fun and painless.

Toyomitsu Taishiro

While Taishiro wouldn't call any of his physical issues an illness or disability per se (rather negative side effects from his quirk), he understands chronic pain and how badly one's body can just suck. His pain flares the most after expelling his stored energy, which leaves him weak, swollen, and exhausted. He also gets joint pain quite a bit, particularly in his hips and knees. His quirk allows his body to work in different ways, but that doesn't mean it's immune to the cracks, bone grinding, and bodily wear and tear.

However, most don't know about that part of his life and quirk. He isn't open to the general public about that. As you get closer, he begins to share his struggles. It can come as a bit of relief knowing that the man you’re interested in also deals with physical issues, allowing for a deeper understanding and connection of each other’s problems and feelings.

Tai also understands how shitty offhanded comments and generalizations people make are, especially if you're visibly disabled in the slightest of ways. If you’re breathing too hard, too pale, too slow, or too “fussy,” people feel the need to draw attention to it like it’s somehow inconveniencing or insulting them on a personal level. He received more than his fair share about his weight growing up. Though, for him, they've mostly stopped now that he's a fairly well-known Hero.

But again, that just shows how people won't complain about, mock, or chastise you/your disability if you're deemed useful and never complain about your symptoms. If you're not, then you're weak or not trying hard enough or lazy or a hindrance, or a moocher. They'd rather you be invisible than accommodate you in any way.

It's hard to internalize others' love when you know what you used to be: top-of-the-class honor student, taking four classes, able to juggle all the homework and essays while working a job on the side. But now? Now, you're stuck in bed. On a good day, you can take a shower, throw the clothes in the washer, and maybe get the dishes done before you collapse onto the bed again, timing when you get up for a snack and go to the bathroom with when your meds are due to make one trip.

Like Toshi, Tai does his best to support you. He can’t fathom the exact pain and disappointment you feel with everything going on, but he stays beside you the entire time. And he never judges the "gross" symptoms skin or GI issues cause or makes you hide your suffering for his comfort. If you're in pain, tell him. Just like you always do your best to help him after a fight or nightmare, he gets a warm bath going or heats your rice pack. Whatever your pain management is, he does it, laying down beside you for some cuddling.

Since his professional life is far less busy than the other two, he has more off time, meaning he has much more time to spend with you. It’s perfect if doctor visits are difficult or intimidating. New doctors are always the worst. You worry if they'll take anything seriously. The horrible ones leave you hopeless, scared life will be uncomfortable, painful, and debilitating. The truly terrible ones can leave you suicidal, preferring to not even be here if the rest of your life is going to be this shitty. He may not be the most experienced in handling those low moments, but he tries. His priorities are making sure you're comfortable, preferably beside him or bundled in his lap, and seeing that you're safe as you ride out the upheaving, distressful feelings.

On the other hand, he's great support for any surgeries and procedures you need. Those thirty-one Botox shots to your head are scary? He's in the neurologist’s office with you, reminding you to breathe and relax your muscles. Need a colonoscopy/endoscopy to explore nearly your entire GI tract? Well, he won't be able to fast with you, but he can make you some delicious chicken broth to drink. Need yet another pelvic exam, or worse, an endometrial or cervical biopsy, and just hearing them describe the procedure is nearly enough to make you faint? Yeah, he's in the room with you, rubbing your arm, letting you squeeze his hand as hard as you need through the long needles, punching and pinching, and way-too-heavy pressure.

A CT scan, two-hour-long MRI/MRA scans that make your head feel oddly, uncomfortably warm, transvaginal ultrasounds that hurt but you have to sit through, transesophageal echocardiogram, biopsies, spinal taps, the procedures go on. They’re difficult to deal with one by one, especially if your relationship with doctors is not the healthiest, but to deal with them all within a few months of each other is grueling, if not debilitating, to your mental health, let alone your physical.

Tai knows he can't go in with you during every procedure. Some have radiation exposure. Others need a sterile environment. But he will be right beside you when you wake up or come out, maybe surprising you with a cute, new stuffed bunny, and he'll treat you to some pancakes to help you regain yourself after. If it was a particularly taxing test, he's a little extra snuggly once home, which is exactly why he likes to take the day off in case you need extra loving after.

He loves adventurous dates: amusement parks, festivals, concerts, and fairs. It might take one or two for it to sink in how much they affect you, whether it be how hard it is for you to walk, needing places to rest, or how inaccessible they are, only having stairs and tight walkways to get around. He learns quickly. Whenever it's his turn to pick the place or if he wants to surprise you, he checks their reviews or scopes the place out to see if it's actually accessible. You deserve to have the same fun and experiences as others do.

If your ability to have painless and/or enjoyable sex is compromised, penetrative sex simply may never be an option. He's big, and if using your fingers is borderline painful, then he won't risk penetration. He isn't upset. He's more so at a loss for making sure you both feel good together. It'll take some working out and trial and error. Oral, mutual masturbation, and you laying on your back while he slides in between your thighs, letting you stroke yourself as he does, are the easiest ways to enjoy each other. If you're having some pain-free days, he may try fingering you and maybe, maybe PIV penetration if you're really wanting it and confident in trying. He's slower and gentler than ever as he massages you, stretches you, licks you till he slides in.

#aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #all might #all might x reader #yagi toshinori #toshinori x reader #fatgum #fatgum x reader #taishiro toyomitsu #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #aizawa headcanons #all might headcanons #fatgum headcanons #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons

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crp-low-quality-content · 1 month

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Just read the dr post and holy shit- I thought ej would be like. One of the less filthy ones💀 Did you ever meet Ben, or X-virus? I know you said they’re not social whatsoever(which makes sense), But like. I’m curious- Did you have to do any of the ‘Work?’ Or like,,, Did you have a ‘job’ there, or jus kinda vibed? Also wdym sally was scary- Ok well that’s vague of me,, I mean like. I figured she’d just look like a normal, if not shell shocked, 8 year old covered in blood-

OH ALSO did you ever see kagekao? What were some of the scarier looking creeps?

-💀 (sorry for talking so much, I’m a big fan of creepypasta so I’m very interested ^^; )

I HAD WRITTEN A TEXT HERE AND LOST IT WHEN I CLOSED THE APP AAAAAA

Talking about my experiences shifting to creepypasta reality again:

I also thought that the EJ was clean before shifting. I had simply told the universe to send me the most realistic version of them possible, both psychologically and physically. And come to think of it, a being with animalistic instincts, who is "undead" and possessed by a DEMON, it became more obvious that he would not be clean. Besides, he seemed to have a deplorable mental state, I don't know if he had low self-esteem like people do in headcannons, but he seemed to have little energy for everything, almost like a like a depressed person.

About Ben and xvirus, I only saw them a few times, I didn't have much interest in them, but I can say that Ben was another virus that only manifested itself in electronic objects, only without a physical or ethereal body, like an Alexa. The x virus was a weird guy, like the ones that make you uncomfortable just by their presence. He looked like any ordinary white guy, not ugly or handsome, but he had a horrible vibe.

My "work" there was like everyone else's, but I decided to put it in the script that I would "blackout" until I finished doing it. Since it involved not so cool things and I didn't want to have memories of that and come back here with some trauma even though it was "me" doing it (which would probably make it much worse). The mansion and living with those monsters were enough.

As I said, Sally gave me the most chills, but that wasn't just because of her appearance,which was quite sinister since it could often appear malformed and sometimes missing parts, such as legs, parts of the skin or face. She disturbed me because I remembered her story and what she went through, and as I'm a person who thinks too much, I kept wondering if she got the justice she deserved. if her uncle suffered any punishment, how the family reacted when they found out what happened to her, or if they managed to find her. And her story is very sad for me and gives me a lot of triggers, and seeing her in person was something that made me even more disturbed by her. Oh, and sometimes she would follow people around the mansion, or wants to play with you if she likes you, which can't be very nice if you are not used to her and given the circumstances regarding her appearance. And if you see something being dragged or hear footsteps behind you and children's laughter at night, it could just be her.

Regarding kagekao, no, I didn't see him there. I also had no interest in meeting him since he is friends with certain people that the entire fandom hates... I wouldn't be able to bear meeting this certain person, and also whoever he's friends with, but maybe I can see him next time, just put it in the script.

Even though my experience was less than pleasant most of the time, I gave up after a week there, I was able to shift more easily, now I have the symptoms of hearing voices, feeling touches and my body floating when I shift, which is a little scary but it means I've improved a lot. Apart from the ease to do it now, so it was worth it in that aspect.

#reality shift #reality shifting #shifter #creepypasta shifting #shifting experiences #shifting #creepypasta #eyeless jack #creepypasta fandom #cody x virus #x virus #kagekao #ben drowned #sally williams #sally creepypasta #slendermansion #slendermanor

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brandstifter-sys · 4 months

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Let's talk about Remus and anxiety. And I'm talking about the emotion, not the edgelord.

In a nutshell, Remus has a lot of OCD symptoms. One big OCD symptom is anxiety. It doesn't look like he's anxious, but he probably is. He expresses it differently than Virgil and deals with it differently.

More details below the cut. Warning for talk of OCD, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety

---

Intrusive thoughts are so heavily tied to anxiety, it's not hard to think that Remus would have a lot of anxiety that he deals with if he has those kinds of thoughts. And there are hints suggesting that he does have them.

Like when he says, "That's life! People seeing, hearing, and experiencing things they'd rather not see, hear, or experience!" (16:00-16:08, DWIT) His tone shifts halfway through and his eyes drift toward the floor while he curls in on himself slightly. That's how his life is.

Or when he describes how Dahmer dealt with his intrusive thoughts, "But ya know, he hated them. He thought they were horrible and he tried to force them out! Lotta good that did him!" (10:50-10:59) He gets emotional and his gaze is cast downward until the end when he bounces back to his bubbly self. It seems like he's talking about his own experience.

Body language is a big thing in this series in general, and Remus is constantly moving. He even has certain ticks that suggest his thoughts are getting out of control. His eyes get really wide, making his smile look forced, and his movements get less fluid, less wiggly. It's subtle but visible in the clips from DWIT from 9:34 to 10:31. The second shot of him at 10:30 is the most obvious, and he twitches his neck (possibly because he's getting told to repress the flow) Then from 10:38-10:42 he's tapping his fingers to his thumb rhythmically until he brings up Dahmer again. It's like the worse the flood of ideas, the more rigid he gets until he has to do something physically to curb the tides. Which is pretty common in OCD cases.

So if the above is the case, that means the intrusive thoughts are nearly constant for him. And if his statements quoted above are anything to go by, he does not particularly like dealing with these thoughts and they have caused him some distress. That distress can manifest as anxiety.

Now obviously Remus' anxiety is separate from Virgil and he processes it differently for the most part. He seems to be more inclined to prevent certain scenarios or to act on impulse.

Consider this, Thomas has intrusive thoughts about killing his brother. Remus is behind those. Remus knocks Roman unconscious before making his entrance. And then when he calls himself "Creativity" and Thomas says , "No, that—that's Roman," Remus goes rigid and his eyes bug out of his head (9:34-9:42). Now factor in their namesakes, Romulus and Remus, and the myth behind them. Remus is anxious about Roman trying to kill him, probably because of the thoughts, so instead of fueling that fear, he takes out the offending variable.

I don't think I need to point out how impulsive he is. What needs to be said is how his impulsiveness affects him. Impulsiveness can lead to increased anxiety, and it is also a part of OCD, specifically the compulsions. These are nearly irresistible impulses that occur when intrusive thoughts are overwhelming and distressing.

So Remus obviously shows signs of OCD as well as representing it. OCD can cause anxiety. Remus doesn't seem to show any classic signs of anxiety. As long as he's not being ignored. He screeches demonically and says it's a distraction after they ignore him and try to take away any attention from him, and then he butts into the conversation with something unrelated to keep getting attention (27:49-28:11). He's desperate, afraid even, of being ignored and alone.

The real kicker is how he communicates that anxiety to Virgil in the Christmas Asides. He points out Virgil dropped his gift, Virgil picks it up and apologizs, and then he says, "Mr. Fuzzy doesn't like being dropped!" in a layered voice. And Virgil stares at him and looks away (9:43-9:50, WMTPG).

The layered voice technique is only ever used in one other situation, when Virgil's anxiety is really bad. The layered voice, mixed with the wide eyes and rigid posture are all blatant signs of Remus' anxiety about abandonment. And Virgil got the message. He just didn't know what to do with that information.

Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist. Don't take this too seriously, it's just fandom stuff at 2:30am

#sanders sides #remus sanders #look at all the rambling bs #long post

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anotherquirkhelpblog · 1 year

Note

Do you have any semi-powerful villain quirks, maybe connected to blood.

first i want to say thank you so so so much for my first ask on this blog i got a little too excited about having an ask in my inbox for once

i don't currently have any like posted or anything but i will go ahead and do a little brainstorm real quick and give you a few diff answers on the blood question, but i will also try to include some of the more powerful quirks i have that aren't blood related at the end

quirks under the cut so i don't clog ppl's dashboards

Boil: A contact-based Emitter quirk that allows the user to cause any liquid to boil almost instantly. Works on anything from water all the way to blood. this one might not be exactly what you're looking for but could definitely be an interesting concept.

Bloodlust: A Transformation quirk that forces the user to turn into a beast-like form when in they smell blood. purposely leaving this one a little on the vague side so you can decide what you wanna do with the beast design. vampire? wolf-like? You decide!

Dehydrate: A contact-based Emitter quirk that allows the user to remove all moisture and liquid from anything they touch. again not directly related to blood, but could definitely work for some pretty gruesome scenes. though I worry this might be a little too close to Decay.

Blood Blade: An Emitter quirk that allows the user to create various weapons from their own blood. This quirk does not allow the user to control the weapons telekinetically. i will admit this one was inspired by the Demon Blood Arts from KNY.

Blood Binding: An Emitter quirk that allows the user complete control over another person after ingesting their blood. basically if Brainwashing and Transform had a baby.

Toxic Blood: A Mutant(?) quirk that gives the user an extremely potent airborne toxin in their blood. inspired by the real-life case of the "Toxic Woman" Gloria Ramirez.

Voodoo Doll: Grants the user the ability to cause physical harm to others by harming themselves. The user must have a part of their victim, such as blood or hair. i've posted this before but this one is blood related and also happens to be one of my favorite quirks i have used for my own oc

the next few are ones i have posted before too that i think might also work for a villain

Uproar: Allows the user to incite violence in those who hear their singing. a bit similar to Trumpet's quirk

Conjuring: Grants the user the ability to influence their surroundings just by speaking. this one is generally a powerful quirk. it was inspired by Toge from JJK, and i use it for a student oc who has little control over this power, but i could see it working super well for a villain

Pathogen: Gives the user a natural airborne pathogen in their breath that makes people around them immediately sick. Symptoms of this pathogen include, nauseous, vomiting, cough, and runny nose. Even after the effects of the pathogen wear off, people may feel congested or slightly nauseous. i think that a strong version of this quirk would be awesome for a villain. like Conjuring, i used this quirk for a student

AND LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST, FROM ONE OF THE MAIN ANTAGONISTS IN MY RP

Quirk Eating: An Emitter quirk that allows the user to steal Quirks using the blood or body parts of other people. The amount of another person that the user consumes directly correlated to how long they could use the Quirk of that person. Eating the entirety of a person before the user was able to fully digest all of their matter would result in the user being able to user their quirk permanently. This quirk does not grant any anatomy to aide in hunting. this is the quirk of the father of my antagonist, but it is worth mentioning for context. i wanted someone who would be able to rival AFO even as a fellow villain. the character with the quirk that "rivals" AFO is a marriage between this and...

Hunter: A mutant quirk that gives the user multiple abilities that are able to aide in hunting, such has heightened senses, large ears, and pointed teeth. The user's large, pointed ears help in their ability to hear and their teeth help for eating things they're hunted, but their enhanced sense of smell and sight seem to have no physical effect on their appearance. the quirk of the mother of my main antagonist, also part of the marriage that created his quirk

Apex Predator: Gives the user cannibalistic tendencies in which they can gain the quirks of others. The more of a person that the user ingests, the stronger the victim's quirk is for them. Users of this quirk are also able to smell blood and are natural hunters. The user may have strong reactions to the sight and smell of blood, causing them to have an insatiable bloodlust. like i said, i wanted someone who would be able to rival AFO as far as power even if he is a fellow villain, so thus this was born. he actually had a more complex quirk before i nerfed him because he was a little too insane before

thank you so much for the ask and i hope at least one of these was helpful!

#ask #Anonymous #mha quirks #quirk help #quirk ideas #mha oc #bnha oc #mha #bnha #my hero academia #quirks #-briz #nq

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captainlunaxmen · 4 months

Text

The Lady and the Lord

Chapter 7

Eddie munsom x fem!reader

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰

Chapter summary: pur young adults are stuck in the Upside Down and they do need to get back. But this experience might not be all bad.

Chapter warnings: spoiler season 4, blood, injuries.

If someone told me this morning I'd find myself fighting demonic creatures in the UpsideDown... again... I would've scoffed... loudly.

But yet... that's exactly what I'm doing now: fighting demonic bats in the Upside Down with... oars.

We got rid of some bats that were biting on Steve's sides, but they keep coming and coming.

"Nancy!" I scream as she's attacked by a bat on her back "Stay still"

I strike with all the force I got, the bat whimpers and flies away.

Eddie and Robin got here too, luckily I might add because there are way too many bats for only three people, one of them being held down too.

As they fight off some of those creature I turn to check on Steve who managed to free himself from the bat's hold around his neck and grabs its tail.

"Come here"

"Shit shit shit"

We're all busy using everything possible to hit and kill these things. As I'm about to hit another bat away, another one attached itself to my left arm, biting down.

"Fuck!" I instinctively yell, shaking my arm to get rid of it, but no use.

"I got it, I got it" Eddie runs towards me hitting the bat to the ground and I immediately impale the thing.

"Thanks" I breathlessly say and he nods.

We turn around hearing Steve grunting, seeing him smashing the same bat, that held him down, on the ground and at the end ripping the creature in two.

Quite the hot scene.. if you ask me.. but anyway, the most important thing is that he's.. alive, not sure if he's okay, but he's alive.

I run to him, along with Nancy.

"Steve.."

"Jesus H. Christ!" I hear Eddie yell out of frustration.

"Oh shit... how you feel?" I say looking at Steve's wounds.

"Well, they took about a pound of flesh" he tells us "but other than that, yeah, never better"

"Uh, do you guys think these bats have, like, rabies?" Robin asks suddenly, as she looks at one of the dead bat on the ground.

"What?" Steve asks, very confused.

"It's just that rabies are, like, my number one greatest fear. And I think we should probably get you to a doctor, like, really soon, because once symptoms set in, it's too late. You're already, like, dead." She rambles.

"Robin, I'm sure-" I start, wanting to reassure her, but I get cut off by the sound of creature chittering.

We look towards the noise and see those bats again, flying towards us, but not quite... they gather around the gate.

"All right. There's not that many" Steve tries "we can take 'em. Right?"

More chittering... and more bats coming.

"You were saying?" Robin says.

"Shit"

"The woods. Come on" Nancy starts to run towards the woods and we all follow her carefully not stepping on the vines.

We ran until we arrive to the Upside Down version of Skull Rock and hide under the stone waiting for the bats to fly beyond that place. All ears to see when the right time to come out arrives.

"Oh.. okay. That was close" Robin comments as we get up.

"Yeah, too close" Eddie replies in a small voice.

"Oh sh.. shit" Steve whispers as he lean on the rock for support.

"Steve.. jesus" Nancy's immediately by his side.

"I'm fine. I'm fine" he replies.

"You're clearly not, Stevie. You're losing too much blood" I tell him getting closer too.

"Yeah exactly" Nancy agrees as together we look closely at those bites.

"C'mon, c'mon sit" she tells him.

Steve with a painful grunt sits.

"Oh" Robin comes closer too.

"That's... a big bite" I comment "does anyone have something to use as.. a bandage or something?" I ask.

Nancy immediately rips her shirt.

"Okay" Robin kneels down with us "so the good news is I'm pretry sure wooziness is not a symptom of rabies. But if you start having hallucinations or muscles spasms, or you start feeling aggressive, like you wanna punch me, let me know."

"Robin" Steve stops her.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda wanna punch you" he says, making me giggle with some relief.

"Sense of humor's still intact. That's a good sign" she laughs nervously and turn to look at me, I nod to help her calm down.

Nancy is ready with the "bandage".

"Here" I help Steve standing straight off the rock, just enough to let Nancy cover his wounds.

While Nancy finishes knotting the ripped shirt on Steve I get up and walk close to Robin as Eddie climb up a big stone to get a better look at the surrounding, I think.

"So, uh, this place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?" He asks turning to us.

"Basically, yeah" I answer.

He just nods and goes to climb back down, but Nancy warns him.

"Watch out for the vines. It's all a hive mind."

"It's all a what?" Eddie says confused.

"All the creepy crawling around here, dude. They're, like, one or something" Steve tell him "step on a vine, you're stepping on a bat, you're stepping on Vecna"

"But everything from our world is still here, right? Except people, obviously?" Robin asks.

"As far as I understand it, yeah" Nancy replies.

"So, theoretically, we could go to the police station and steal guns and grenades and whatever we need to blow up those bat things that are guarding the gate" Robin suggests, in her ramble.

"I highly doubt the Hawkins PD has grenades, Robin. But guns, yeah, sure" Steve tell her.

"We don't have to go all the way downtown for guns" Nancy starts "I have guns in my bedroom."

"You, Nancy Wheeler, have guns, plural, in your bedroom?" Eddie asks, completely surprised.

"Full of surprises, isn't she?" Robin chimes in.

"A Russian Makarov and a Revolver" she specifies.

"Yeah, you almost shot me with that one" Steve remembers.

"You almost deserved that" Nancy replies with a smirk.

Nancy and Steve shares a long stare, luckily, interrupted by Eddie throwing his denim vest.

"For your modesty, dude" he tells him.

"Wait... Nancy" I say, turning to look at her "does that mean you still have my shotgun?"

"I think.. the one Hopper gave you at Starcourt?" She asks and I nod "yeah.. I think I still got it"

"And you have a shotgun.. I shouldn't be surprised anymore.. but shit" Eddie comments.

Before I could answer him another earthquake interrupts us, and makes us fall to the ground.

Nancy against Steve, who holds her as best as he can, me against Eddie next to Robin.

I instinctively grab his hand, more to hold onto something than anything else at this moment, and I feel his other hand holding me close.

Once the earthquake stops Eddie speaks up.

"So guns seem like a pretty good idea to me"

"Definitely" I agree and I get up, helping Robin too.

"So, what are we waiting for?" Steve says, walking in the direction of Nancy's house, torch in hand. "Let's go"

"Yes, mommy" I mutter.

"I heard you" he says back.

I flip him off and, with the others, I follow him.

I walk along side Eddie noticing his nervous demeanour.

"Hey" I softly calls.

"H-hi" he replies.

"All good here?" I ask.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" he quickly says.

"You know" I start, wanting to make him feel a little bit better "the first time we faced these kind of things, uh, I was scared shitless.. I didn't know what those things were, I didn't know where they were coming from, I didn't know why they were here."

"Must've been terrifying" he comments.

"Yeah, a lot, but now, if I think about our first experience... well, that looks like an easy D&D campaign. The easiest you could think of" I say with a small chuckle, noticing his small smile I continue "You're dealing with the worst of them all and you're behaving so so much better than me back then"

"Now you're just saying that" he says, sending me a sceptical look.

"You don't believe me, my lord?" I ask faking offence, putting my hand on my heart.

"I think, m'lady, that you're being simply too kind" he replies.

"I'm just being honest" I tell him "if it wasn't for those kids I would be dead by now. Not because of those creature, but because of fear" I let out a small laugh.

"You're saying we shouldn't worry then?" He asks.

"I'm afraid we should be worried... this thing is.. far worse than anything we've faced before. I'm not one to sugar-coat something. But.. the thing is that each time seems worse than the previous one, yet we managed to survive each time, so... I'm hopeful" I turn to smile at him.

"Shit.. we do need you at Hellfire. Smart, pretty, great sense of humor and... very cool rings too... perfect" he smiles, and I could simply melt in this exact moment. I look away quickly, trying to hiding my embarrassment.

"Not as cool as yours" I say looking everywhere but him.

"Oh these?" He ask, waving his hands in my face playfully and I laugh, trying not to stare at his hands too much... his hands are just.. too distracting.

We stay silent for a while before I remember something.

"Oh, uh.. I made you something" I tell him, checking my pockets, hoping I didn't lose it somewhere.

"You.. you made me something?" He seems surprised.

"Yeah" I still checking until I find it. "Here... helps with the fidgeting"

I hand him a small black beads ring.

"Wow" he simply says.

"Hope it doesn't ruin your metalhead look" I joke.

"You kidding? This would only make it better" he says. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you, m'lady"

He winks.

"Shut up" I smile again, feeling my cheeks warming more and more as he just looks at me with that sweet smile.

"Why do you know how to use a shotgun?" He suddenly asks.

"Hopper taught me" I answer with a sad smile.

"Oh... cool of him." He comments.

"Yeah. He had so much patience" I chuckle at the memory, looking down with a sad smile.

"Hey.. I'm sorry" Eddie sweetly whispers.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything." I smile at him.

I see him reaching out to my hand but Steve's voice stops him.

"Hey" Steve slows down to catch up with us, and I see Eddie rolling his eyes.

"How's your arm, honey?" Steve asks me.

"What? Oh" I look down to my left arm "Oh, uh.. not that bad, I think"

"I think it needs a bandage or something" Steve says, ready to run up to Nancy and Robin and ask them.

"I got it" Eddie chimes in, he seems almost annoyed though.

Eddie grabs his bandana from his back pocket and goes to wrap my arm in it.

"I'm gonna ruin it" I protest moving away.

"As if I care more about a bandana than you" he instantly says. Surprising not only me and Steve, but also himself I think, considering he widened his eyes slightly.

"Stop complaining, honey" Steve says.

Eddie glare at him just for a second before wrapping the bandana around my injured arm and I hiss at the pain.

"Sorry" he softly says.

"Nah, it's fine" I groan.

He finishes rather quickly. "Here, m'lady"

"Thank you" I say rubbing my arm, just slightly.

"Hey hey don't rub it" Steve stops my movement.

I scoff. "I'm gonna see if Robin and Nancy too will treat me like a child"

I walk faster towards Nancy and Robin.

"Hey, oh! Oh shit, uh, your arm! Are you okay? Do you feel any-"

"I'm fine, Robin. Don't worry. I actually didn't even notice until Steve pointed it out" I chuckle.

"Good.. Good.. but, uh, tell me if you don't feel good okay?" She asks and I nod.

"Promise?" Nancy asks.

"Promise" I say.

I walk a little slower to stay a bit with my thoughts.

I can hear Steve and Eddie talking, but I don't pay too much attention to them at the moment. Focusing instead on the shotgun and when Hopper taught me how to use it.

"Why do I have to learn how to use this?" I asked Hopper, annoyed, as he hand me a shotgun.

"Because, since you refuse to accept any sort of help from me, I'm gonna at least teach how to defend yourself" he answered, exasperated.

"I just refused to live with you" I clarified.

"Exactly" he said "you live alone, it's dangerous. Now again."

I aimed at the empty bottles in front of me.

I shot.

Missed.

"Fuck" I muttered.

"Language." He warned "you're getting closer though. Practice makes perfect. That's how I became... me" he adds proudly.

" Oh. So you're saying you're perfect now?" I challenged with a scoff.

"How come you're so quiet with everyone, but with me you're this noisy?" He spat.

"I..." I stuttered. It was true, he was one of the few people I was comfortable enough to be... a bit louder.

I looked down, ashamed, and heard him sighing.

"Come here" he said patting a spot beside him on the fence.

"I'm sorry" I quietly said with a sigh.

"Nah.. don't apologise. Actually.. it's good you're noisy with me" he assured me.

"Why?" I asked, not understanding what he meant.

"Because it means you trust me enough to speak your mind" he explained. "I see you with those kids, that Wheeler girl, and Joyce's son and that... one with the cool hair"

"Steve" I reminded him.

"Yeah yeah that guy. I see the difference between you talking with them and you talking with anyone else."

"Really?" I asked, once again.

"Yeah! You see, when you talk to your friends you're visibly calm, open and you actually talk, joke and get angry too. But when it's someone you don't know talking to you, you wrap your arms around you, shielding yourself, you talk very little or not at all, you play with your rings to have some sort of excuse not to look at the people you're with." He explained.

I never thought he actually cared this much about me.

"And you noticed all that?" I asked, more to not show that I was happy about it.

"Of course." He nodded "That's why, even though you're getting on my nerves with your comebacks.. I'm also very proud."

I laughed and he did too.

I miss him. Fuck... I really do.

When I hear Nancy's name I snap out of my mind.

"... what happened between you two" I hear Eddie saying. "But if I were you, I would get her back. 'Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen."

Obviously, Steve still has a thing for Nancy.

I hope they sort this out... I don't want him to suffer again.

"What about you, uh?" Steve asks back.

"What about me, Harrington?" Eddie teases.

"Oh I think you know" Steve laughs.

"What? Want me to admit my feelings for Y/n? Saying that she's the only thing I've been thinking about since they paired us up for that stupid project? Or that she's so beautiful that all I want to do is just look at her.. maybe that's why I've been failing O'Donnels' class this whole time."He lets out a small laugh "everytime Henderson or Wheeler mentions her, for whatever reason, I can't help but feel jealous they get to spend so much time with her while I was too much of a coward to talk to her...Fuck.. I'm screwed, man" Eddie rambles, I'm speechless, I never thought he feel this way about... me.

I need all my strength not to turn around and ask him to tell me more.

"Why would you be screwed?" Steve's confused.

"Because... she deserves so much more. I can't do that to her" Eddie replies defeated.

"Let her decide that, uh?" Steve pats him on the shoulder.

Good answer, Steve.

I hear silence for a moment before Eddie's answer.. or more, question.

"There's nothing between you and Y/n, right?" He sounds insecure, almost.

"Man, you just made a whole speech about why I should get Nancy back, not even a few minutes ago, and now you ask if there's something between me and Y/n?" Steve asks in disbelief.

"Uh.. yeah" Eddie simply answers. "You call her 'honey' a lot"

"No, man, there's nothing. She's my best friend since..." He puffs, thinking "ever."

"And, uh, there has never been anything? Like at all?" Eddie checks.

"Well... I did have a crush on her.. for a while, but then we grew apart and... yeah it changed. Then Nancy happened..." Steve explains and I hear Eddie letting out a sigh of relief, but then Steve adds casually "We were each other's first though"

"Uh? What-"

Another earthquake interrupts him.

"Oh shit"

"Okay, second on my list of lists favourite things, earthquakes. Seriously, I'm unsteady enough as it is" Robin says.

I'm holding onto a tree and I see Nancy running and Robin calling for her.

I turn around to check on the boys and nid my head towards the direction Nancy went to and we quickly follow her.

When we spot her, thankfully, the earthquake ceases.

"C'mon" she tells us, walking towards her house.. or this alternate version of it.

"Thank god we were close" Robin breathes out.

"Yeah" I say out of breath.

The house... matches with the rest of the Upside Down, obviously.

Here the cute, clean rooms are dirty and there is this dark dust all over, and the vines are crawling over the walls and the furniture.

"Might be time to get a maid, Wheeler" Robin says, trying to enlighten the mood I think.

"C'mon. I don't want to stay here longer than we have to." Nancy walks upstairs.

"Agree. Definitely don't wanna add 'creepy dimension' to the weird places I had a panic attack in" I blurt out following her.

The others close behind us.

Once we get to her room, Nancy immediately goes to her wardrobe and takes a shoes box.

When she opens it, though, there are no guns... only a pair of shoes.

"Those aren't guns" Eddie sarcastically points out.

"These heels are pointy, but I was hoping for something on the line of a deadly projectile" Robin adds.

"I don't understand" Nancy comments, looking at me.

"You sure you left them here?" I ask.

"Yeah, maybe you left them somewhere else" Eddie tries, getting agitated.

"There's a six-year-old in the house. I know where I keep my guns" Nancy almost snaps at him "and also, I threw these away years ago"

I look down on her desk, thinking, but I notice some notes. Chemistry notes, I helped her writing them so we could practice at home... three years ago.

"Nance.." I say, handing her the notes.

"I get that grades are important to you two, but perhaps studying can wait till we get out of here?" Robin suggests.

"These are from sophomore chemistry." I explain, Nancy looks at me, catching up on what might be happening here.

"Yeah.. and this... this wallpaper, this is old wallpaper" Nancy informes moving around her room to look at the rest "and this mirror, this went to a yard sale. And you" she grabs a stuffed animal "You're not supposed to be here. No, I gave you to cousin Joanna two years ago"

Nancy then moves to grab a diary.

"What is it?" Eddie asks.

"Nancy? You're freaking me out" Robin urges her.

"This doesn't look good" I comment shaking my head waiting for Nancy to confirm my suspicions.

"I think the reason that my guns aren't here is because they don't exist yet" she answers.

"They don't... exist?" Eddie repeats, tensing up more and more each second.

"This diary should be filled of entries. It's not. The last entry is November 6, 1983. The day-"

"Will went missing" I cut her off, earning a nod from her. "The day the gate opened and everything started... we're in the past.. how?"

"I don't know" Nancy shakes her head, defeated.

Suddenly we hear Steve's voice yelling "Dustin! Dustin!" And we immediately hurry downstairs.

Steve's moving awkwardly in the dining room, looking at the ceiling calling Dustin's name.

"Maybe he really does have rabies" Robin suggests.

"Steve!" I call "What the hell are you doing?"

Steve points his torch to us, blinding us for a second.

"He's here. Henderson. That little shit, he's here. He's like...he's in the walls or something. Just listen" he explains breathlessly, pointing his finger up to make us pay attention to... whatever he heard.

As we listen closely, Steve keeps calling for Dustin, but we do manage to hear...his voice!

Oh shit.

"That brings us to the question you first raised" he seems to be saying.

"Oh shit! That's him" I exclaim.

Everyone starts to call for him, yelling his name, hoping he'll hear us.

"Guys! I don't think he can hear us." I grab their attention.

"Yeah, either he can't or he's being a total douchebag." Steve replies.

"Will found a way" I say.

"What?" Steve's turns to me.

"Will. He found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights" Nancy goes to turn some lights on, with no use, nothing turns on.

Steve points his torch to the chandelier. "Guys? You seeing this?"

It's like there is some almost tangible energy surrounding the chandelier and we all gather beneath it.

I reach out to touch it.

"Shit.." I breath.

It's a weird feeling, warm and ticklish.

As we touch the energy around it, it enlightens.

"It.. tickles" Steve comments.

"It's weird, but... pleasant" I agree.

"Yeah" Eddie turns to look at me with a breathed chuckle.

"Does anyone know Morse code?" Nancy suddenly asks.

We all shake our head no.

"Wait, does SOS count?" Eddie asks, earning a light scoff from Robin "is that.. is that good?"

"Yeah, definitely" I tell him.

Immediately Eddie starts to touch the energy in Morse code.

"Yeah, that's working"

We managed to hear Dustin telling us to go to Nancy's room, where they're bringing Nancy's sister's toy. It's supposed to help us communicate more.. effectively.

Hopefully.

We wait kneeling at Nancy's bed, the tension devouring us.

"C'mon, c'mon" Steve keeps mumbling.

I keep fidgeting with my hands and rings, my breath getting heavier and heavier, but suddenly I feel a hand holding mine. I look up seeing Eddie, sending me a reassuring look even if he was just as tense, but it helps my breathing getting even again. He doesn't let go of my hand, though, not that I complain about it.

Dustin's faintly voice snaps us out of our moment.

"You.. seeing this?"

A small mass of energy appears in front of us, just like the one around the chandelier.

When we hear Dustin's laugh we know it's working.

I look at Steve who's already looking towards me, with his "We're okay" look. The one he always gives me when he sees me nervous.

"We're not moving it, but we're gonna unplug it. Stand by" Dustin says.

The energy seems to disappear, but Dustin urges to try again.

"Try it now"

Nancy, unsure, start to "draw" something on the line of "Hi" in the air, basically.

Eddie holds my hand a bit tighter.

They all answer.

"Hi"

"Hey! Hi. That worked!" Dustin exclaims.

"Yes!"

We all let out a sigh of relief and cheer. Robin lets out some relieved giggles.

"Okay. Um.." Nancy starts to draw again.

S T U C K.

"St... stuck!"

"That's what we are" Robin mutters.

"Mhm Mhm" Eddie vigorously nods.

"You can't get back through Watergate?" He asks.

"What the hell's water gate?" Steve asks.

" 'Cause it's in the water and it's a gate" Robin simply explains.

"Oh"

"That's cute" Eddie comments.

"Yeah" I agree.

"Righ, uh... no it's..."

G U A R D E D.

"Guarded. Uh the watergate is guarded" Dustin catches on.

Oh smart boy.

"Perfect, yes yes yes" Steve exclaims.

"We think we have a theory that can help with that" Dustin tells us.

"Genius child." Robin comments, feeling more relaxed now.

"We think watergate isn't the only gate. That there's a gate at every murder site."

"Does anybody understand what he's talking about?" Nancy asks us.

"Nope."

"No"

"No idea"

So she draw a question mark.

"Seriously? How many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys just trust me?" Dustin's voice sound pretty worked up.

"Jesus christ. This kid's gotta get his ego in check" Steve comments, slightly exasperated.

"It's his tone, right?" Eddie chimes in.

"I know" Steve agrees.

"Hey, it's your kid" I tease them.

"Okay so.. how far is your trailer?" Nancy asks Eddie.

"Seven miles?" He replies.

"Nancy?" Robin speaks "uh, I know your house here is, like, weirdly, creepily frozen in time and shit, but haven't you always had bikes?"

"She's right"

"Yeah.. yeah we have" Nancy answers.

We then tell the others to go meet us at Eddie's trailer and we go find the bikes, quickly riding them to Forest Hills Trailer Park.

Hopefully, Dustin's theory is correct once again. Being permanently stuck in the Upside Down is not in my plan, definitely.

Eddie leads the way and we all follow him on our bikes. We don't take much to get there, luckily.

"That's gotta be a Guinness World Record. Most miles travled interdimensionally." Robin jokes as we get off the bikes and head to the trailer.

"And the prize is getting out of here in one piece" I reply.

"Just inhaled a bunch of that crap. It's stuck in my throat." Steve complains couching.

Entering the trailer our attention is immediately on the ceiling. The gate.

"This is where Chrissy died" Eddie explains. "Like, right where she died"

"I think there something in there" Robin warns.

Something from the other side, probably, is trying to pierce through the thin veil of the gate.

"What the hell is that?" Eddie asks as we slowly get closer to inspect it better.

Suddenly the veil is broken and we step back, watching as some mysterious slimy material fall from the crack.

Steve get closer, carefully and we follow close behind.

As soon as we can see on the other side of the gate we all let out a sigh of relief.

There they stand, upside down, Dustin, Max, Lucas and Erica.

"No way" Steve half exclaims.

Dustin laughs as soon as he sees us.

God.. never thought I'd miss that laugh.

"Hi!" He greets.

We a say hi back, shocked... shockingly relieved though.

"Holy shit, this is trippy" Robin comments.

"Yeah.. that's the word" I say with a chuckle.

"Bada-bada boom!" Dustin exclaims ecstatic.

"Okay what's the plan?" Steve asks "how do we.. get back there?"

We all look at each other, uncertain on what to do.

"We got an idea" Dustin tells us.

"We're gonna use, uh, a rope or something and, like, drag you back here" Max explains.

"Yeah, we gonna need something you can fall onto" Dustin says "can we use your mattress?" He asks Eddie.

"Uh, sure, man. Sure" he replies, still out of breath.

"Oh, and the sheets for the rope" he adds.

"Whatever you need."

"Hurry please" Robin asks.

The kids get to work, Dustin and Erica making the rope and Max and Lucas bringing in the mattress. They put it right under the gate, or.. from our perspective, over the gate.

"Those stains are, uh..." Eddie starts explaining, noticing the particularly visible stains on his mattress. "I dunno what those stains are." He finally say, visibly embarrassed.

I try to hold back an amused smile, never thought he'd be the type to get embarrassed over something like this.

The rope is ready and Dustin is about to throw it to us.

"Not quite sure how these physic's gonna work. But, uh...here goes nothing" he finally launch the rope that extends itself like normal gravity permits.

"There we go, and if my theory is correct" Dustin is holding the other end and then lets it go.

The rope stays put... unbelievable.

"That's crazy" I let out a surprised chuckle.

"All right, pull on it! See of it holds" he instructs.

Robin immediately goes to pull on it. It does hold.

"Holy shit"

"Guess I'm the guinea pig" Robin says ready to climb up.

She climbs the rope, grunting and as soon as she get to the top, through the gate, she falls.. she actually falls on the mattress.

"Oh thank god" she exhales "that was fun"

I smile, relieved.

I look at the others seeing if anyone wants to go after her.

"My turn, I guess" I say, not seeing anyone else stepping up.

I pull, experimentally, at the rope and jump holding me up.

I slowly climb up, shit.. never been the athletic type.

Once on the edge of the gate, I feel like being sucked and instantly fall on the mattress, back in our world.

"Shit!" I say as I land, with a grunt. "Fun, yes, but to never do again" I say with a laugh.

Dustin helps me get up so the others can come back too. Max immediately come to hug me and I do too.

"You're okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah, you? What happened to your arm?" Dustin asks worried.

"Nothing unusual" I joke and they smiles.

I see Eddie climbing and then falling.

"That was fun. Shit" He then grabs Dustin hand and get up, getting beside to me and nudging my shoulder playfully.

"All good here?" He whisper to me.

"Yeah" I smile at him.

Now It's supposed to be Nancy's or Steve's turn, but something's wrong.

Steve's screaming Nancy's name, she just stands still.

"Wake up! Wake up! Nancy!" He keeps screaming.

"Oh no no no" I mutter.

"Vecna" Max speaks.

Shit.

#stranger things x y/n #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson

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