psychosis is not “bad person disorder” it’s not a moral failing it’s not a quirk or “evil” or a plot device or an insult and im so sorry to psychotic people who have to deal with that stigma on the daily. you all deserve so much better

me an bae dont argue our relationship exists in my head n the only real interaction we've had is me apologizing for bumping into him

Jason: so yeah I’m on mood stabilizers now

Tim: for the pit madness?

Jason: 🤨 no it’s cause I’m bipolar. What the fuck is pit madness?

The Amazing Devil: *announces new music being released via their Instagram*

Me, waking up from an emotionally comatose state and two psychotic breaks later:

Delude (dɪˈluːd)

verb.

1. to let yourself believe something is true because you want it to be true, when it is actually not true

2. to make someone believe something that is not true; mislead; deceive

absolutely late to the party but- the whole Aemond and Lucerys thing being basically a confirmation of dragons reacting to their riders' state of mind if not always their commands is actually pretty neat. It had been subtle throughout the show, with Caraxes always reacting to Daemon (wounded or restless or angry), but they made a point of it in the finale with Syrax. First through the shared pain, then through her protectiveness, mentioned at the first bridge meeting and showcased at the second despite Rhaenyra's attempt to rein in her emotions and command peace. There is also a comment on most of these dragons not having been rode into battle, which also gives context to their behavior and their riders' surprise. Aemond was angry and seeking revenge, so Vhagar went for it; Lucerys was scared and being threatened, so Arrax protected him.

👤 what psychosis feels like (to me)

like my brain has been turned into goo

like my thoughts become tv static

like a dream I can’t wake up from

like there are monsters living inside my head

like my third eye is wide open

like my thoughts aren’t my own

like my body isn’t my own

like the rules of reality are bent

like time has become nonlinear

like people are out to get me

like sleeping with one eye open

like everything has a special meaning

like the ground will swallow me whole

like the sky will come crashing down

like my food/medicine is unsafe

like I can’t trust my own senses

like I’m the second coming of christ

like the stars are talking to me

like hell/heaven on earth

(tbosas movie spoilers!!!) i think the worst part of tbosas for me was that coriolanus was right??? all those offhanded little comments he made 'on a whim' to try and 'help the tributes' and in turn save himself were right and it's horrifying to realise that he didn't need to try to think of them and try to be like his father bc he already was. from an audience perspective, i sat through the whole arena part of the movie disgusted by everything happening in it and begging for it to be over (it didn't really get better after all that but oh well). the deaths were more gruesome, the arena more terrifying and everything felt too real (i also watched it in imax idk if that helped). not that the deaths in thg and catching fire games weren't horrific, but in an offhanded movie fan way, i used to look forward to the arena. because it became exactly what dr gaul wanted it to be and what coriolanus realised it was and what lucy gray made it: a performance. in the 65 years after, they made the arenas interesting and real and natural and beautiful, with weapons and mutts and gifts and places to hide and places for open bloodshed, they interfered with the games to help and then kill their tributes (sound familiar? yeah thanks a lot coriolanus u bitch) and it was literally the most harrowing thing to sit there and watch the movie as i realised that it was entertaining to me to watch the first two movies because of that. we are no better than the citizens of the capitol and i just think that sucks.

i want mortar eaten away by nature. i want the smell of wet moss and wood rot. i want the leafs and bugs in his fur. i want the deer he catches between his teeth. the men he breaks beneath his claws. i want kingdoms to tremble when they hear my name entwined with his. i want my marriage to be a war cry.

it ain't great, but >_<

@ghosttcryptids

tagged for spoilers

oh great so you're telling me that a young girl neglected by her parents and drugged to the gills since childhood goes into the fucking wilderness and runs out of those meds and is in a stressful situation and starts hallucinating/having delusions/being a vessel for some entity??? and all she does is do some silly little rituals and do group therapy techniques and everyone starts feeding into her delusions and then they kill & eat someone in her name when she's like decomfuckingposing in the attic and then she's gaslit into thinking she was involved, that she was at fault, because her off the lifelong meds psychosis "started" all of this and now she's their jesus even though she told them that if she died they should eat her all she ever wanted to do was fucking help them to give them hope and now she's elevated into something not-lottie, she's twisted into a prophet, she's not their teammate or another teenage girl she's the messiah and all of this is her fault

then they get rescued and she's shipped off to a psych ward and shock therapied and no one checks in on her and who gives a fuck really, they're out of the wilderness, lottie can't do anything for them anymore, and she becomes the scapegoat for all of their fucked up deeds and desires and she's already gaslit to hell and back over this

then she starts a silly little commune full of other 'broken' people just vibing and having a home and safety and she's helping people like she always wanted to do before the yellowjackets took her good intentions and warped them and told her that she warped them and then one of her friends is going to kill themselves so she takes her and brings her to the commune to try and heal her, to help her, to undo the damage she never meant to wrought, and then boom all of her alive old teammates are here dragging their own shit and trauma with them acting like she's the devil incarnate to shoulder their guilt and now she's hearing about their various crimes and triggered into a psychotic break when she was doing good before this and now that friend she tried to save is dead and she's in another fucking mental institution because no one wants to deal with lottie even though she's the 'monster' they created (lowkey in their minds) and now the silly little commune's fucked and her followers are probably wondering if any of it was ever real and all lottie wanted to do was help to provide hope all she did was care

oh but sure, she's the problem

like what the actual fuck?

weekend is here. time for 24/7 intense panic-inducing intrusive thoughts

cough. starting to realise i really dont care about my dissertation. scared

tswift is such a complicated situation bc fuck her for not using her gigantic platform and reach to do any sort of meaningful good but it should also be kept in mind how many fucking wackos froth at the mouth at the thought of killing her. so

Sorry for the rant lol

You have no idea how much Cassie as a character means to me, I show symptoms of schizophrenia and I've only made two friends in my life (my brother being one of them) and I feel so isolated from my peers sometimes but Cassie's personally, backstory, etc makes me so happy and it makes me feel like someone is reaching into my brain mush and taking out things I need to see and putting them on paper

Alright I'll stop now lol

I know how isolating that can be. It sucks how little people understands and listen to stigmatized symptoms like that. It took me so long to find characters who were like me who weren't just jokes or villains or tragic props and background decoration.

It honestly still feels weird to try to write psychosis to be relatable and sympathetic, im very used to seeing psychosis portrayed exclusively from the outside and in the least charitable way possible.

Im really glad you relate to cassie: )