#I wrote this one drunk my bad guys hope there is nothing wrong love you all - WD
Note
Hii do you do emergency requests? I hope I'm not bothering you but if it's not too much to ask, may I have an Elijah x femreader where she slips into sorta sub space after getting sexually harassed? And Elijah comforts her but can't figure out what's wrong with her so she explains, that she feels very vulnerable and emotional and only allows someone she really deeply trusts to touch her. And she's crying because of the situation and she also feels guilty for springing this on him? If not, i completely understand. Thank you anyways 💗
You are safe now | Elijah Mikaelson
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synopsis: After having a great day ruined because of a man malice, you thought that you would spend the rest of the day crying alone.
warnings: sa. I didn't wrote the sa because it wouldn't be great for me or anyone reading it, just the emotional consequences after being on a safe place. As someone who passed through that, I was sensible and made in a way that I wouldn't be uncomfortable reading. But if you know that you will feel really bad after reading, then don't do it. If you wanna read some comfort, then try. I hope you never had to deal with something like that, and I hope that if you sadly did, this can make you feel a little bit better. Also, I have autism and when I am having a mental breaking down I like when people hold me tighter, it help me to calm down, so I included. Don't know if it is actually a warning....
ps: i gonna be honest and say that this was not a easy request. As a woman I have some bad experiences and some days before that ask I was harrassed by a old man. I was so happy because I was going to Interview a artist I really like (im studying journalism) and it just make me feel so scared that even after everything was fine I still shaking. I really do hope from the bottom of my heart that you request this simply because you felt like doing it, but probably you have also passed through a situation that put you in danger cuz I've seen the same identical request being done by a friend, and if thats the case I need you to know: I hope you are safe and I hope you do understand that nothing that happened was your faul. Because of the situation I kinda of also wroted it to myself, I hope you felt loved and special reading that. Feel free to ask for more or to just talk to me :)
It was supossed to be a great day. Surrounded by friends, the world wouldn't matter anymore and any problem would be forgotten. Completed with love, for a few hours everything would be simple. And it was. It was such a lovely day. Until it was not.
At home, you closed every door and unhesitatingly got under the covers. It should have been amazing. If it wasn't for him. If... What would have happen if you didn't get out of bed at morning? If you didn't walked that street? But you had louder questions on your mind. What if you we're drunk? What if that guy didn't helped you? What if it was worse?
At least now you are safe. At home, nothing can hurt you. No one can hurt you. Safe. In your room, in your bed, in your home: nothing bad would happen to you. You know that. But why do you keep shaking? Why do you felt embarrassed? Why do you felt dirty?
And you didn't even realized that you shouldn't be alone. That in your house was supossed to have someone waiting for you. You didn't even remembered him, so plunged in terror.
Elijah opened the door with bags full of candy and junk. The living room light was on. "Dove?" Elijah put the things he bought to watch a movie with you on the kitchen counter. Without receiving a response, he walked to your room.
Elijah saw you under the covers, so he smiled to himself. "How was your day?" He asked. "I dare you to guess what I bought to us."
When he didn't heard your voice, Elijah walked to your side of the bed just to check if you we're awake. And he saw your eyes open. And your red corneas. The trace of still wet tears. Your shaken body. Elijah saw fear on you.
And it made something in Elijah's chest burn in pure rage. "Who hurt you?"
Unable to look at him, unable to say anything, you just shake your head.
Elijah kneel down by your side. "Dove, my love, I just need you to say a name and everything will be fine. Trust me."
Elijah touched your face in an attempt to calm you down. You shuddered and dragged yourself away from him. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" Crying, all you could do was scream to him and hug your body tighter.
"Hey," Elijah was almost unable to talk. His throat burned. What could have happened for you to feel that way? You smelled like fear. You we're so affraid. His body hardened. Did you found what he is? Did you realize that he is a monster and that fear, that horrible feeling, was caused by his presence? "I'm sorry. I won't. I won't touch you. Please, my love, try to breath."
"Don't touch me," you continued to murmur.
"I promised," Elijah said. "I won't touch you. I gonna stay here, on the floor, and you can stay in the bed. I won't even move."
"I am so sorry," your hands covered your ears. Everything was so loud. Your breath, your heartbeat, your mind. "Elijah, I am sorry. I didn't mean to... I didn't want to..."
"Hey, its fine. I am fine. Are you fine?" As he said, Elijah stayed on the floor. When Elijah make a promise, he is serious. "Talk to me."
You shake your head, still unable to even think straight. "Everything hurts inside me." Not even your tears you we're able to control. Not a single tear drop. "I feel like a open wound."
"Who hurt you, my dear? Please, trust me. What happened? Let me help you," his voice was so sweet, it almost covered his anger. "You are safe here"
"I don't want to be a burden. You don't deserve that."
"You will never be." Elijah didn't realize that he was also shaking. "You are my heart and my mind. My peace. You are everything I ever dreamed of. You are not a burden. Let me know you."
And as he said that, something on you changed. "Hug me," you requested. "Tighter. Until it hurts. Just made me forget about him."
And Elijah did it. He hold you close and don't let you go. Hearing your cry, feeling your body shaking, thinking about could have happened: Elijah obeyed you. And when he felt so close to you that you even forgot that you had a body, when he hug you with so much love that you didn't feel alone, you felt safe. You felt loved.
"He followed me," you gasp. "And he... He tried." Your tears we're so arm. "But he didn't. They stopped him before. But he tried. And I cant help imagine what could have happened if... Elijah I am sick of feeling like this. Of being affraid. I just want to..."
"To live, not just survive."
You looked at him. "Exactly."
"You will. And one day all that pain will be just a blur memory. Something that seens from another life. I promise you that."
"Do you?"
Elijah hold you even tighter.
"I do."
GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink
if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.
#madwomansapologist#the originals#the originals x reader#the originals x y/n#the originals x you#the vampire diaries#the vampire diaries x you#the vampire diaries x y/n#the vampire diaries x reader#the vampire diares imagine#the originals imagine#elijah mikaelson x you#elijah mikealson imagine#elijah mikealson x reader#elijah mikaelson#hurt/comfort#ask box
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Realizations - Jungkook scenario (Requested | Fluff/Angst)
@thehopelessromanticclub said: Are you a bank loan? Well, you’ve certainly got my interest. ur ffs are sooooooooooooo damn good. i mean ur existence itself is amazing.....u r one of the finest writers out there, trust me! i just wanted to request a long ff of reader and jungkook. where the reader confesses to him but he kind of rejects her. so she challenges him that she will move in with him and make him fall for her...with lots of fluff and angst if u'd like.....would u plsss do it???*puppy eyes*.
A/N: Hii there, I am sorry for the wait, BUT I hope it's worth the wait! I changed some things up a bit. I hope you don't mind! Ly, have a nice day 😊 💛
Summary: A boy named Jungkook is your childhood crush, and finally, you get the courage to tell your feelings to him, but there's a twist to it.
Members: Jungkook x You
Genre: Fluff / Angst
Warnings: cussing, yelling, fighting, alcohol, cheating
Word count: 2048
Your heart starts beating faster, your hands are sweating. Nervousness washed you over. Your eyes kept looking down at your feet. Jungkook's hand reached yours, taking it in his, but you move it away gently.
"Somehow I never thought my own best friend would do me like this..." you look up at him and laugh a bit. His face wrote "worried" all over it.
"She... She didn't tell me anything and yet knew I liked you for so fucking long..." you spoke and looked away.
"Y/N- I'm sorry." his words left his mouth and you simply nodded your head.
"It's okay... Just one thing is that the two of us are sharing this place... Seeing you with her- You know what? It's fine. I am happy for you, because you're my friend. If you're happy, I am too... For you."
Smile spreads across your face as you touch his shoulder, but you just wanted to cry. It felt like he had feelings for you, too. I guess you were only thinking that way.
"Everything will be the way It always is! I will not let that change." Jungkook got out of the swing, looking at you. Your legs swung a little and you nodded your head.
"Okay, Jungkook."
"Come here-" he spoke, taking your hand, pulling you out of the swing, hugging you tightly. Maybe it felt like a real hug or maybe just a "I'm feeling bad about all this, so I will hug you" type of hug.
For years, Jungkook and you have been friends. Best friends. Over the years, of course, both of you grew and found the things you want to do in your life. To keep and save up some money, the two of you decided to share an apartment where each of you has their room, their privacy, etc... Some of your guys' friends were kind of worried about the two of maybe fighting or something similar.
Basically, the apartment was only for sleeping since the two of you had busy schedules and such and for hangouts.
Way before moving in with Jungkook, secretly, you always felt something towards him. He was just the person who understood you, was always there for you, makes you laugh, etc... In the last year, Jungkook was more affectionate to you. Hugging you more, being closer to you, even sometimes flirt in a way. When at the clubs, parties, the two of you would get so close to each other. Few kisses would fly when both of you were drunk but not being talked about the next day.
Your best friend started to come over more than usual to your place. Everything was normal, like nothing was going on. You never asked Jungkook about his love life, goes both ways. Being that blinded and stupid made you so mad and irritated.
- - -
Time did pass by; somehow, you grew out of those feelings towards Jungkook but knew they were still there. Him and your best friend were still together. Sometimes, watching them cuddling up, hugging, kissing, and such made you so sick. Jungkook, in a way, kept his promise of everything being the same as it did before. He kept trying to talk to you, joke around, and such. That wasn't it anymore. It stopped. When the two of you needed to talk, you did. Maybe you were in the wrong for that same as him, but you just couldn't do it.
Jungkook saw a guy talking to you outside through the window. At first, he didn't think of it as much. He did notice how much you were smiling and him making you laugh. It felt weird to watch you being with someone new? Like he couldn't accept the fact you met someone else and is talking to that person. All of the questionable feelings run through his body. Then the of you kissed. He looked away in that moment, not wanting to watch.
From being best friends to almost just mutual friends did hit him hard sometimes, but never he wanted to show that to you or his girlfriend. He always questioned himself "What if Y/N never told me that?" , "How would our friendship be now if some things didn't happen?".
He was a soft soul, just trying to be tough from the outside.
- - -
After a while, he met your boyfriend, who you have been dating for about 6 months now. His eyes scanned him from head to toe. His hand gripped on his hard, and he fake smiled at him. Jungkook asked you politely if you had a few minutes to spare to talk to him.
You were surprised actually. Jungkook pulled you through the hall, to the kitchen. His body moves closer to yours.
"That guy?!" out of all the things he could say, he said that, whispering. You raise your eyebrows and move away from him.
"What about him, Jungkook? You just met him and have already something negative to say!?" you whisper back, wanting to shout actually being completely out of your mind.
"I don't like him."
"Jungkook-"
"He just- He isn't a good guy for you, and I can FEEL it." Jungkook points at himself, staring at you
"You are being weird now Jungkook. Since when do you even care about me or who am I dating?" you look back, just to check if anyone is coming by.
"Y/N- I never even stopped caring about you. We just somehow stopped hanging out or talking that much. But I can assure you, I saw you many times and-"
"Jungkook, were you watching me??"
"No, just sometimes I just happen to be at the time the two of you kiss or something like that"
The two of you just stared at each other for a few seconds. You didn't know how to feel or what to think of his sayings. It all felt just too many new things at the same time.
"I'm sorry Y/N... For everything... I'll just go now, I don't want any of them to suspect something... Let's have a good night out!"
Smile formed across his face, and he quickly passed by. The night was going really well. All of you were drinking, getting prepared for the club. Cheering one last time before going out, Jungkook and you shared a long eye contact. Both of your hearts would start beating just a little faster.
The group of friends met you at the club, which was already packet. It felt so nice to feel the music and great atmosphere in the air. All of you danced, had quite a lot of drinks. It was all about having fun and being together. Looking to your side, you see Jungkook and his girlfriend sitting on his lap, the two making out, being all over it each other. You didn't want to watch, but just for a split second, I wanted to know how she feels. How is it to be in that position as her? For a long time, you didn't feel this way. It was wrong to feel this way since you have a boyfriend by your side. Jungkook's eyes met yours; the energy that went through your body gave you chills. This time, both of you didn't look away. Jungkook slowly bit on his lower lip and gave you a little nod, before he looked away.
"I am not feeling good... I am going to get some fresh air!" You shout to your boyfriend and slowly find your way out. Jungkook saw you going out alone and made his way to you. Drinks were hitting him hard, but he managed to stay on his feet. He saw you standing near-by the club.
"Hey..." he spoke up, standing in front of you catching you by a suprise.
"What are you doing here, outside? Your girlfriend will look for you." You spoke and Jungkook rolled his eyes being annoyed by your sentence. He took a deep breath and looked around.
"Well... Let her look for me then, I don't care. I want to be with you." He leaned towards you, placing his hand on the wall beside you
"Um... Jungkook... You stink out of alcohol!" Both of you laughed, and he nodded his head in agreement
"Always the same things... You used to say that all the time Y/N-" he looked up, his eyes being very sparkly, a little red. His hair falling over his forehead. This perfume of his that was always one of your favorites.
"You're too close Jungkook-"
"So? Let me be-"
He said softly before kissing you hard. The air felt sexual and hard. Just "wanting more" kind of energy. Happiness above all, but then it hits you. You're cheating. He's cheating. This is wrong. By doing the wrong thing, it made you feel like it was actually the right thing to do. Both of you didn't want it to end.
You placed your hands on his chest, pulling him away quickly. Jungkook looked at you in suprise, but knew what's up. His eyes go wide and he steps back a little.
"Oh shit- Oh fuck me... What have I done?" Jungkook placed his hand over his head.
"No one has to know. We'll just pretend it never happened- Like we always did..." You spoke up
Your boyfriend came storming out of the club. He was mad as he saw Jungkook standing near by you.
"The fuck are you doing with him?!" he shouted at you
"We- We just talked nothing else-"
"I don't care! You don't need to talk to him. You can't!"
Jungkook snapped out of the bad thoughts and looked at your boyfriend being too close to you, getting into your face, shouting at you.
"Hey- Get the fuck away from her!" His hands would reach onto his clothes, pulling him away from you. He was ready to fight. Ready to kick his ass because of the way he treated you.
Managing to come in between them, you stop them. You faced Jungkook in that position. He was breathing heavy and quickly, his hands being formed into fists. Your hand, without your boyfriend noticing, places on Jungkook's. Just to calm him a little bit. You didn't understand why he was doing all this. He never did, never stood up for you like this.
Jungkook's dark brown eyes fall down on yours. He observed your face; just the way you're trying to calm him makes him feel all kinds of ways. His heartbeat raced up; he wanted to kiss you more and be with you more than ever. He wanted to cry because of everything that had happened in the past.
It was the moment of realization for Jungkook. All this time, as soon as you got yourself a boyfriend, he was jealous. What if he always has felt something for you but was too afraid to tell you or ruin the friendship you two had?
"Y/N I'm sorry..." he spoke quietly, looking up and down at you and walked away.
Turning around you just gave a look to your boyfriend and followed Jungkook. He kept walking, being angry at himself, at everything. When there was a nearby bench, he sat down taking a deep breath, closing his eyes.
"Why are you walking away Jungkook?" he hears your soft, innocent voice. As he opens his eyes there you were stabding in front of him.
"Why are you following me?"
"Maybe because you need to do some explaining" you cross your arms over your chest, he starts laughinga bit and stands up. Jungkook took a step towards you.
"I don't know, but I think this is your lucky night because Y/N... I just realized I was too afraid to ever actually admit to my feelings for you"
"I fucking never should have let you go." he added, placing his hands on each side of your face, looking at you with a smile.
"Y/N, I want to treat you right and be with you, but.... Let's forget all this. Let's start over, please."
He leaned in for a kiss. His lips tasted as the alcohol he drank. His warmth felt nice as it was close to you.
"Jungkook-"
"Shh... Just enjoy the moment before it becomes a memory." He cuts you off by kissing you again, pulling you in even closer, harder.
#bts#bts scenarios#bts reactions#bangtan imagines#jungkook scenario#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#jungkook#jungkook angst#bts angst#kpop angst#kpop fluff#kpop#jungkook scenarios#bts jungkook fluff#kim seokjin#bts v#bts jimin#yoongi#kpop scenarios#jhope#bts namjoon#open requests#requests are open#bts boys#bts fanfic#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook angst#jungkook fluff
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Now that my M induced high is wearing off, here's a pretty long rant about things I didn't like about the book in general (Especially the last third)
The book started pretty great, I really enjoyed the demo so I was excited for more. By the middle I was fighting to pay attention to the plot and by the end I was rolling my eyes and honestly, pretty over it.
I loved the romance (M route) and the little friendship moments, but the rest... I have seen some people talk already how it felt like a collection of random scenes and I agree, especially with all the little times skips, it really read like Sera just wrote two separate things and then didn't know how to connect then so "2 weeks later" "that evening" "time has passed".
General plot
The blood drive was pointless, I don't know if it's possible to fail and have your blood taken, but unless that happens it added nothing to the story.
The kidnappings were more interesting but got pretty old quickly and I got tired of the same formula every fight. Either you choose the right option and win (And for my deduction/knowledge based detective they were so stupid. If I had a shot everytime the answer was to move aside and let the enemy trip I will be so drunk) or you choose the wrong one and end up being saved by UB.
The Agency
All the agency related things weren't interesting to me, I don't care about the chamber, I don't care about Rebecca, the new friend (In my case Tapeesa) it's not bad but I forget she exists most of the time. I'm pretty disappointed about having the detective working more with them because I love the station and the people there.
Sin's role
Sin had so much potential and it ended up being so irrelevant. There's no way you can convince me he couldn't actually take the detective, at least if they used his moral conflict as a reason it would be better, but the book was seriously acting like he couldn't do anything after a punch in the face. "The human can pass my barrier so guess I, the stronger, more powerful and able to fly being, can't do anything more. Time to go"
Sir my detective is bleeding out and you're saying you can catch her because she's going around a couple of bricks?
And the resolution felt so weird. I chose the research route so I was really hoping to talk about him about the reports of trappers trying to make fake bonds and all that, instead my detective just went "The bond is fake! Believe me!!" And it worked? It felt like I was missing pages, because we went from point A to B in five seconds.
And what I hated the most
The final fight.
I'm sorry but it was ridiculous. We had no mention of the trappers even considering to bring the detective to their side and now you're telling me you're inviting them to your weird auction and hoping they will be okay with it? Without any trap? Any secret master plan to take their blood?
And then when they show up you believe they're on your side because your employees didn't smell vampires nearby? No mather that just 2 days ago they were actively fighting against you?
And it would be so easy to fix it, add a couple of scenes with the trappers trying to swing the detective mind or use Tapeesa, or Tina, or Verda as bait to forcing them to come and try to kill them (Which I thought was going to happen, but then Tapeesa was just used to gauge a reaction?)
And don't make me start on the lack of security. You expect me to believe in such a big event there was no one keeping an eye on the prisioners? Rebecca could just slide there and free then without even alerting anyone.
And of course my detective just took the main guy out making him trip and fall against a tree.
The whole thing felt so anticlimactic.
Rogue leader
And of course we need the setup for the next book, so suddenly the guy is happy to be arrested because otherwise the rogue leader would kill him. Even though he didn't show any fear before.
We know she exists, we most likely know who she is (I will be surprised if it's not Rook's sister or at least some family member), why have her be some kind of twist at the end instead of using her to develop other characters and their motivations? Show her connection with the trappers instead of telling me it exists at the end. It just felt like a lazy excuse to introduce the next villain
#don't read if you loved the story#i don't want to rain in anyone's parade#i just wanted to talk about the final fight and then it got longer than i intented#i don't have the energy to check the spelling/grammar sorry if it's messy#anyway i would love to hear opinions because i have so much to say and no one to talk to#i still love M and UB tho#twc spoilers#twc book 3 spoilers
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Processing Some Dating Experiences
There is a lot to say and whine about in my problems with dating. Today was so rough that I was moving slowly and physically couldn't do half of what I normally do at the gym. My whole system is slowing to a crawl. (which is depression)
My inclination is to write big blog posts about how confusing relationships have been for me, partly as a catalog of the insane ways I have been treated and how shitty my mindsets have been as well as a way to feel vindicated. Not to mention, it would be something to point to when (as is my fear) people all band together in the future to realize I'm a loser and they cancel me.
I do have some crazy stories about dating, including one girl showing me her tits and saying "I love you" and kissing me and then pushing me away emotionally and saying she never felt anything towards me THEN telling me to never talk to her ever again because I'm a creep. Then another story where a girl brought me to her bed to cuddle, we cuddled for 12 hours into the morning, then I kissed her goodbye (didn't try anything in the bed because her drunk friend was laying right there and that would be rude), and then when I asked her out again a few times, our mutual best friend said I was "harassing" her. Then, in an attempt to not be a timid prude like I was with the last two girls, I let a female best friend know that I was interested, but it was only a month out from her previous breakup, and I came off extremely poorly and was labeled "disgusting." The third situation was a bad move in a few ways, disrespectful to the male friend that she broke up with and a learning experience, but I'm at a loss about what the correct behavior is. I'm too slow, I'm too fast, I'm a creep, I'm cold, I'm "harassing" people, I'm "disgusting."
I don't see a way through this. I feel damaged. I'm in my late 20s and alone. People like me (and drunkenly tell me they love me), then push me away hard. How am I going to cuddle a girl for 12 hours and NOT try to push the envelope, especially out of respect for her drunk friend who is trying to sleep in the queen bed next to us, then still get treated like a creep. I was "harassing" her? That's bullshit. I did way better than any man in the same situation and was still punished.
It seems like being a man is walking a thin line. Walk the line or get canceled. Men who don't walk the line just right either get ignored (work until you die) or get violently banished. This wouldn't be so bad if the line was even visible. Like I wrote in my first few blog posts, I have all these things going for me. I check all the boxes. Yet, people push me away hardcore. Or they'll get close and then see something in me and then the push happens. What is it that I'm doing wrong? I used to do everything wrong, because nobody would approach me. Now, girls approach and then their opinions go south. There is something I'm doing wrong. Is it the girls I'm picking? The girl who I cuddled with, I didn't even like her at first, but she latched on to me fast, so I gave it a shot. Then I realized I liked her. Then she pushed me away. Is that it? Is it when I like a girl that I change too much and become supplicating and I push her away?
It does seem that the tides turn when I admit to myself that I like a girl. And when I like a girl, I like to ask questions about herself and her hobbies, as is common wisdom. But I must be doing it in a boring way. Any dumb fuck can ask basic questions about hobbies. When I'm dating guys and they ask me about my hobbies, it is boring 90% of the time. I'm realizing just now that, before my transition (I'm FTM trans), I was thinking of how great of a man I'd be to date, because I'd "listen to women unlike those others guys and I'd ask about their hopes and dreams." While that is nice to have, that is almost always boring as fuck. Why is it boring? Because everybody does it when they have nothing worthwhile to say.
Let me clarify. Due to my experiences now dating men as a man, the number of conversations on dating apps that goes from "How is your day?" to "What do you do for work?" to "What are your hobbies? Oh, that's cool," is through the roof. Conversations where dudes just ask me about myself really nicely are so frequent that they are meaningless.
To flip back to my experience dating women, it's not that women don't want me to ask them about their day or their hobbies and all that. It's that I need to make clear what unique things I bring to the table. It's not because they're mean or they "ONLY like assholes," though the evolutionary gain of doing so is clear and scientifically supported, it's that guys who are NOT assholes are almost always boring and have nothing unique to offer. You're asking how my day is? I've gotten 40 other messages today asking the same thing. How can I sift through that? So for me, especially if I'm competing with guys who are taller and have more social connections and are more daring and masculine than I am, I need to differentiate myself. I need to be both the best version of myself as well as uniquely myself. I need to polarize, as Mark Manson would say. I can't be putting up a front of a macho man that I am not, yet I need to be the best version of myself and acknowledge my role as a man in the relationship at the same time.
Now, this brings me to my next failure in dating, this time with the girl who told me she loved me and showed me her tits and kissed me. I have been ruminating on what happened and why she pushed me away so intensely for a long time. She basically had a boyfriend of 4 years, but kept posting snide things to social media that made it clear she was done with him, then when I asked her out, she swore up and down that they'd be together for "quite some time," then 4 months later they were done. Right after she told me she was going to break up with him, 15 minutes later she sends me this song with the lyrics about being "undercover lovers." Then long story short, she pushed me away and went to dinner with and banged some other dudes, and she swore she never cared for me then told me not to contact her. There were some mistakes of mine in there that I can get into later. Some of the things she did were warranted, others completely uncalled for. As much as I have resented what happened, I think part of the problem was that I let her down. There were a handful of times that I bitched out and those caused her to push me away, I could tell. I acted like a huge pussy. Other times, she pushed me away just because (think "Easy" by Alison Wonderland, one of her favorites). One time, we had a huge fight and I (in her words) "ripped her a new one," and in the wake of the fight when I told her I was done with her and we didn't talk for a week, she "accidentally" snapchatted me at the end of that week and was like "sorry that was for my best friend." When I was more gentle previously, she pushed me away. But after that fight? She reached out unprompted after a week of tension. I'm not saying she wants to be treated shitty. I think she was just waiting for me to grow a spine. That seems to be another theme, my spinelessness. It might not be that I'm supposed to avoid being called a "creep" or "disgusting" or be labeled a harasser by my best friend. Apparently, I'm going to get called that either way. Maybe people are just waiting for me to have a spine? Who cares what happens? Being a man is about being unwavering (not psychopathically but healthfully confidently). The shit will roll downhill either way, so who gives a fuck?
How do I navigate having a spine and not being an asshole? I appreciate being an understanding person and being able to connect with so many people. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. There are many cool people in this world who are worth my time. How do I combine that with being more clear with what I do and don't have time for? I'm worried I'll become ruthless, because my shadow (in Jungian terms) has not been contended with yet, and it has been explosive every time I've tried to let it out of its cage. What do I do? A more gradual revealing of my true priorities? Is it that I'm afraid to make people mad? People are envious of my charisma and ability to get along with so many others (not being egotistical, just repeating what they have told me when they're inebriated). Where is the middle ground in being diplomatic and friendly and still cutting off shitkickers and not coming off as naive? Other people navigate this alright and have good relationships with their girlfriends and wives. It can't be that hard if other people, who are not better than me, do it. Maybe I can do it? I'm more optimistic than I was when I started this post.
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Queens is the largest of the five boroughs of New York City. It was established in 1683 and presumably named to honor European Queens. At this time, The majority of the settlers were from the Netherlands and many of their population were witches and wizards. They forged a very decent relationship with the natives. The land grew up into a prosperous town that fostered a safe community for the wizarding folk from all over the world.
When the Revolutionary War came, the British quickly swept in. In Queens, there was a significant mixed wizarding population. The muggle British troops weren’t much concerned with Queens aside from Long Island. The witches and wizards took this to their advantage and used several locations in Queens for a rotating headquarters by which they could plan and facilitate guerrilla counteroffensives. One of these old HQ’s has been flipping into a Aurors Division and Civil Protection (ADCP) Precinct while another is a cupcake shop. A few others have been placed under historical protection and are preserved in their vintage state. One, in particular, has actually disappeared. MACUSA has the city plans for where the building and its basement should be, yet in its place is Sunnyside Gardens Park.
One of the most used headquarters in the war turned into a steakhouse and the most desirable meeting spot for crime bosses in not only Queens but New York City. The Butcher House was a little on the nose and had the attention of authorities as Italian wizarding families flooded among the crowds on the boats. The Bandoni, Moretti and Laguardia families all rose quickly and suddenly in the 1870′s. The crime families covered their tracks very well, no matter how many safe houses and weapon caches the aurors raided. It was in 1879 that Walter Moretti gunned down the heir to the Bandoni throne in the Butcher House. The Moretti’s ruled over the Italian wizarding diaspora in Queens while the Laguardia’s migrated deeper into Manhattan that leads to Fiorello Laguardia being elected as the 99th mayor of New York City. Fiorello embraced the criminal background of his family yet in the sense that the entire population of New York City was now apart of his family and he looked to expel any threat he could to the expanded family of his.
Fiorello Laguardia being in office was a major asset to the wizarding community of New York City. He desperately wanted to foster a bond between the no-maj office of mayor and MACUSA. Fiorello was largely successful in this attempt, with each office working together to better the city. One of the many successes of this co-operation was the Beast Breeding Amendment.
In the 1900′s purge of Beast Breeders, Civil Patrol and Aurors had to go door to door to ensure all breeders ceased and desisted. Queens was notorious for illegal beast breeding in the late 1800′s. The ringleader of the entire operation was Edith O’Mooney, an Irish witch that immigrated with her parents. She orchestrated the financing, breeding, distribution, and profiting off every illegal breeder in Queens. And breeder not willing to come into her fold disappeared almost as soon as they had appeared and one of O’Mooney’s associates took over their operation. Edith O’Mooney was never apprehended by authorities even though almost all of her inner circle was arrested. This earned O’Mooney the alias of “The Untouchable”. Rumors run, even to this day, that wrinkly, old O’Mooney still runs the underground organizations in Queens, quite possibly the Non-Dominabitur organization.
Queens is home to two airports, JFK International and La Guardia, and therefore there is little to none wizarding air traffic over it. Especially since the great crash of 2001, where a group of young wizards on their way home from a quodpot tournament at Sentinel Aerial Stadium. Giddy off gigglewater and an underdog win, the teen’s collided with a no-maj plane, American Airlines Flight 587. It was a terrible accident that leads to well-developed laws on wizarding air travel by MACUSA.
Nowadays, the wizarding community of Queens is vibrant yet divided. Many significant wizarding families from around the world settled in Queens. Some made alliances with each other and others still feed into fierce feuds. It is not odd for there to be a witch or wizard in the middle of an incident in Queens. The 111th ADCP Precinct of Queens is one of the busiest in the city, always dealing with a wide variety of issues that compliment the wizarding population of Queens.
#queens borough#DWUSA#I wrote this one drunk my bad guys hope there is nothing wrong love you all - WD
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UNDER THE CANYON MOON
pairing: josh kiszka x female!reader
warning(s): mostly fluff, just brief mentions of alcohol and sex
word(s): 2k
note: hi hi hi !! this is just a little something i wrote up the last couple of days with the inspiration of light my love, canyon moon by harry styles, and the interview where josh talked about road-tripping the u.s. last summer <3 i don’t write one shots often but let me know what you all think bc i might shuffle some more out soon lol. hope you all enjoy !! :)
The Los Angeles sun was hot, beating down onto the city basking in its late-summer hues. You parked your car on the street in Silver Lake and carried a bag of food and drink tray to the door of a recording studio, more than prepared to be swarmed by hungry boys who had been cooped up in the studio since five a.m. on the dot that morning. They had a breakthrough the night before with a new song, and after getting home and going to bed for a few hours, the creative juices started flowing again and they were back in the booth.
A windchime on the door sang as you pulled the door open and walked inside, greeting their manager who was at a table by the door.
“The boys here?”
“Down the hall,” he nodded, pointing a finger in the direction of the hallway. “They’re more rowdy than usual so be prepared,”
You laughed and turned down the hall, walking towards the studio. The walls were decorated with memorabilia of rock and roll greats and record plaques, and among them, you spotted a picture of the four boys with their Grammy award. It seemed like time had passed so quickly. They won the award for the first album and they were already working on their third, shooting them further into stardom.
“Coffee’s here!” You shouted in a really bad New England accent when you noticed the recording light was flipped off above the door.
You stepped into the room to a chorus of cheers and “thank god you're here”’s that made you laugh while sitting the food and drinks down on the table and they all rushed over. You handed out the specific orders and pointed to which drinks was theirs when they got handsy and tried to grab everything from her out of both excitement and some desperation for caffeine.
“Our savior,” Jake said, reaching out and grabbing your shoulders to give them a gentle shake before taking the coffee you were holding out to him, and then you handed Danny’s to him, too.
“Just the coffee girl here,”
“Well, you’re a little bit more than that,” Josh said, walking over to the table to grab his full cup.
You pressed a hand against the table, leaning over to him. “Just a little?”
“A little bit,” he shot you a wink before swiftly pressing a kiss to your cheek.
You were more than just a “little more” than the coffee girl, you were typically their designated drunk driver, the one who took all of their candid photos, the mediator in times of need, and well, the girlfriend of the lead singer, too.
Everyone in the studio took their food and drinks and scattered among the seating area in a break from recording. Instead of one tiny room with all of them cramped together, they had a wide open space with booths for the different instruments and bean bag chairs and big comfy, velvet sofas, and there was dim lighting with deep toned rugs that gave off the vibe of a more relaxed feel rather than the fluorescent-light, tiled-floor feeling that made them feel rushed and confined by rules they didn’t set themselves.
You liked the studio, too, and often took naps on the sofa while listening to them play instruments individually in the recording booths and while they were writing. One night they had found you at two a.m., bundled up with a blanket on the bean bag chair after they spent the night writing in the front room on the piano, but it wasn’t the first time as you often napped in their Nashville recording offices, too.
“You guys been busy today?” You asked jokingly while lowering onto the sofa armrest, receiving nothing but glares shot in your direction. “Okay, okay, touchy subject,”
With a mouthful of bread, Sam pointed to Josh, “Josh finished a song, didn’t you?” He was grinning.
You hummed in joy and surprise, grabbing Josh’s knee as he sat next to you. “Really?”
It had been a rough few days for all of them as they tried to shuffle out a few more additions to the new album. It felt incomplete with something missing, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on what it was exactly, so they attempted to bring back and revamp old songs, write and record new ones, but nothing seemed to stick, until now.
“Yeah, wanted to wait and show you later, but someone can’t keep his trap shut.” Josh said, pretending to be serious before cracking a smile and taking a sip of his coffee. “Just wanted it to be a surprise,”
“Well it can still be a surprise, I’m surprised now,” you said. “Can I hear it? Or read what you got?”
Josh nodded and stood, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him. There was a little recording room fit with a piano inside, his writing journal placed on the music stand where he had scribbled notes and keys and melodies in pen. He picked it up and handed it to you.
“Nothing seemed to click until last night, when I started putting it together.” He said.
“Is that why you wouldn’t tell me what it was when you all got back to the house?”
Josh shrugged, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to be special when you first heard it.”
You sat the coffee cup down onto the floor while lowering into the small chair in the corner, holding the journal like it was the most delicate piece of art in the world. In silence, while Josh watched on anxiously, you read the words he had splayed across the blank page.
Can you light my love?
Flames glowing bright as the sun
Deeper than oceans you run
Watch as our world has begun
Your mind is a stream of colors
Extending beyond our sky
A land of infinite wonders
A billion lightyears from here now
You felt your throat tighten, tears tempted your eyes.
It was a love song.
“Josh-”
“Oh god you hate it don’t you, you dread it, despise it,”
“Oh shut up, I’m in tears right now, you know I love it.” You looked up at him with a smile and a sniffle.
His words across the page were sloppy, some cursive, written in different pens of different colors, some lines crossed and scribbled out, others underlined.
“Your mind is something I will never fully understand.” You told him as he sat down on the chair next to you. “How the fuck did you come up with this-”
“I was thinking about our trip out here, the week we spent driving out and all of the stuff we did… and how I think I fell more in love with you.” His voice softened.
You reached out, placing your arm on his shoulder, fingers playing with his curls. “I can’t put it into words how much I love it, how much I love you,” you said, “and you make me sound so lovely when in reality I know I was a pain in the ass that entire trip.”
“Yeah, but my pain in the ass,” he kissed the inside of your arm.
Two weeks before the boys left Nashville to head to Los Angeles, Josh called you at midnight with an idea in mind – the two of you renting a camper to drive out to L.A., falling into all of the tourist traps along the way and stopping in random small towns to sleep while exploring the in between, which would definitely beat the boring four-hour flight. And you, half asleep and across the country, agreed.
It would be fun. Right?
And it was. Every time someone asked how it went, you called it “the most magical week of my life.”
While the others waited behind for their flights the next week, you and Josh set off from Nashville, heading west with only the destination in mind and a trusty map in hand. Everything else just came to you both.
The first stop was three hours in the trip, in Memphis. You and Josh roamed Graceland on Elvis Presley Boulevard and had lunch near Sun Studio before taking in the mementos and relics at the Blues Hall of Fame where Josh talked your ear off, rattling off more details about each band and singer than was on the info-cards on the wall.
Then it was two hours to Little Rock, falling asleep in the back of the camper after a take-out dinner outside of a random supermarket. Sitting in lawn chairs in the middle of a parking lot, you held Josh’s hand under a blanket and watched the pink sunrise over the hills, and then it was back on the road again.
From Oklahoma City to Amarillo, you fiddled with the map when Josh got lost after a wrong turn in a small town where he insisted on seeing the giant 66-foot LED soda bottle sculpture, and in the middle of northern Texas, he made it up to you by cooking your favorite dinner. You thanked him in a quiet whisper as you crawled into the bed with him that night, sliding under the covers where he greeted you with warm hands and kisses against your neck that made you squeal with the tickle of his mustache and he grinned against your lips.
Josh got to choose the music all the way through New Mexico – Neil Young and Crazy Horse to John Denver’s Thank God I’m A Country Boy, and you were only able to squeeze in Joan Baez every hour when you stopped to stretch your legs on the side of the road, belting the words to him while he laughed at your voice cracks.
And after you both pitched the tent in the Petrified Forest in Arizona, Josh hummed the tune to some new song while you two sat under the midnight stars in the canyon with a roaring fire, his arm around you, his sweatshirt draped over your shoulders. When he tried to start telling you a scary story after you heard a weird noise outside the tent, you blindly hit him in the dark and accidentally hit his nose, causing you both to burst into laughter after the initial panic left. He laughed loudly into your shoulder as you held his face in shock, catching the scent of your lavender lotion, and his body relaxed when the laughter died down, feeling so at peace in his life with you there.
It was the tail end of the trip, but the excitement hadn’t died down yet. After showers in the camper in the middle-of-nowhere-Arizona and five hours west, you and Josh found a bar outside of Las Vegas that resembled Coyote Ugly, so you both had a round of tequila sodas and margaritas before walking around the small town that evening and sleeping off the tipsy-headaches in the air conditioning. On top of the covers, you looked at Josh napping in the sunshine, cheeks flushed red, curls poofy from the wind, and you felt your heart grow in your chest before falling asleep next to him.
And then came Los Angeles, the final stop, the dreaded one. But you and Josh didn’t tell anyone that either of you were sad to be back with them in L.A. when they asked, and instead, you two smiled and hugged everyone after piling out of the camper in the drive-way of the Silver Lake house.
Cleaning out the camper, tossing cheesy novelty t-shirts at each other and laughing at how many socks you two managed to lose along the way and how many bug bites were added, watching the developed clips Josh had filmed of scenes in the desert and you asleep in the passenger seat, you both were nostalgic about a trip that just ended.
It was so easy, so freeing to just be together on the road, with only the destination in mind. It revealed a part of them that the other didn’t see often, like your tendencies to get your lefts and rights mixed up while giving directions, and Josh’s equally awful sense of direction didn’t exactly pair with the fact that he was a maniac while driving in the first place.
But those parts were just added to the long list of why you and him loved each other in the first place. So you became the designated driver after Amarillo and Josh stuck to telling you “left or right” for the rest of the time. It was a compromise, another reason why you two worked so well together.
It was a form of love in itself.
“We’ll have to drive all the way back to Nashville then, so you can write more songs about me.” You teased.
Josh rolled his eyes but cracked into a grin a second later. “Let’s not get too carried away,” but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t always mentally reliving the night under the canyon moon.
#gvf imagine#greta van fleet imagine#gvf#gvf one shot#greta van fleet one shot#gvf fanfic#greta van fleet fanfic#josh kiszka imagine#josh kiszka one shot#josh kiszka fanfic#greta van fleet
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puzzle; 8 (FINAL)
➜ you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?
pairing: jungkook x (f) reader
genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au
warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex
rating: 18+
word count: 16k
A/N: finally the last chapter! i am actually feeling very emotional right now. i enjoyed writing puzzle so much and it received so much love since the beginning! your feedback always kept me motivated to write. thank you so much to everyone that followed these two dorks and waited patiently for every update. i hope we can meet again in future works!
hmmm, a little rec?? but i listened to sweet night by taehyung as i wrote this chapter. maybe listening to it will enhance your experience too!
enjoy!
➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!
« playlist »
You don’t know how long it has been until Taehyung finds you.
It’s cold. The tears have finally come to a halt, but you’re still sobbing and sniffling. You should probably get up and go home. It’s late. Not safe to be alone on the street like this. You should probably call an uber or something.
Yet, every time you think of Jungkook’s tears, it seems that your own eyes well up with tears all over again.
What makes you snap back into reality is the sound of shoes walking down the stairs.
You get up in a jump, feeling your legs ache in the process, and turn around to see the person you least expected to see right now. Taehyung stops some steps ahead. The light pole behind him marks his silhouette with a halo.
“I finally found you,” he says after a few seconds. He sounds hesitant but somehow relieved.
It makes your heart clench even more.
You make an immense effort to speak, as if words ran over inside your throat and made it stuck. Well, they did, in a sense.
“Taehyung, w-what…?” is all you can stutter. You don’t really need to finish the sentence. What are you doing here? Why did you come after me even though I hurt you?
He looks down and caresses the back of his neck. You notice that he’s nervously fiddling with his car keys on the other hand. Oh. He probably didn’t want to be around you, either.
“Well, you ran away down the street like that. I got worried.”
You shouldn’t.
“It’s… not safe to be by yourself on the street like this. I’m taking you home.”
Please, don’t be kind to me.
It will be much harder if you’re being kind to me.
“Taehyung, I…” you feel yourself squeezing your purse against you, just as nervous as he is. You don’t want to bother him with your presence anymore. “I was about to call an uber. You don’t need to…”
“It’s alright. I’m already here anyway.” He starts to walk up the stairs again without looking back. Without giving you a chance to disagree. “Let’s go.”
It seems that your legs forgot how to walk as you watch him. You don’t want to get inside his car. You don’t want to face him, not right now.
When Taehyung reaches the top of the stair alley, he finally looks back at you in silence.
That’s when you realize that you have to face him. You were never one to run away from the consequences of your actions.
The newest consequence is staring back at you in quiet sadness.
You inhale deeply before going after him.
An awful silence hovers in the air during the entire ride home.
You can’t help but shrink on the passenger’s seat, hugging your own arms tight, your head leaning on the window. Taehyung does not make any attempt to engage a conversation. His presence is suffocating.
Something cold sets in your stomach when he parks the car in front of your apartment’s building. There’s nothing out there to distract you anymore. Nowhere else to run to.
You inhale again.
“Thank you.” you say softly.
Taehyung doesn’t say anything as he rests his hands on his lap. You watch him intently as he gulps, his eyes glued in something ahead.
“So.” He starts, his voice as low as yours. This is painful. It was never your intention to put him in that situation, never. “I don’t want to take a drunk man seriously.”
It’s your turn to gulp. You really really don’t want to explain everything to him in detail. “Mike is a son of a bitch. He got it all wrong.”
“It seems that he got one thing right, though. Judging by Jungkook’s reaction.”
It’s getting difficult to breathe again.
Taehyung turns his head slowly to look at you.
“Are you guys…?”
You honestly feel like jumping out the window, but your feelings for Taehyung make you stay still. He’s a kind friend. He deserves to hear it clearly.
So you take a deep breath before speaking.
“Jungkook and I, we… we were never a real thing. Not really.” It hurts to say this out loud. It seems that you can still hear his broken voice…
There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.
“B-But recently I realized that I have feelings for him.”
Taehyung nods slowly and sinks on the driver's seat. He rests his chin on his hand, letting a shaky deep breath out.
“Why did you call me today, then?”
“To tell you the truth.”
He gasps softly and shakes his head again. Taehyung has completely broken eye contact with you and his body language looks protective - building an almost visible wall between you and him in seconds.
“Wow. It seems that I was the one who got it all wrong.”
You feel like touching him to give him even a little bit of comfort, yet you know that you’re his main discomfort in the moment. You turn your body in his direction, pleading.
“Taehyung, it wasn’t meant to happen this way. I didn’t want to hurt you, not at all. I know that an apology won't be enough...”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” He cuts you. His voice sounds strange, so different from how he has ever talked to you. He’s very quiet, but you can feel the anger and hurt lying underneath. “We never had anything anyway. I was the delusional one here.”
No, not again. You don’t think you can take more guilt for one night. You didn’t just delude him going on that date; you deluded him every time you talked, every time you texted each other. Taehyung saw something more when there was nothing at all - he felt something more, and you were too confused with your own feelings for Jungkook to notice what you were doing.
“Taehyung…”
“I’m feeling very ashamed right now.” He admits with a shaky exhale. “Could you…?”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know very well what he meant. Leave.
You nod and open the door into the cold night. You still stand there on the sidewalk hesitantly for a few seconds before whispering a shy “I’m sorry”. Taehyung doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look your way.
When you shut the door, you know very well that from now on, your friendship with Taehyung is also shut.
You’ll miss him really bad.
It feels like you can barely carry the weight of your own body as you slowly make your way to your apartment - which is weird, because you feel empty right now.
Your apartment isn’t as empty as you expected when you open the door, though. Seulgi is standing on the kitchen counter and she smiles wide when she sees you. She looks excited in a way she hasn’t been in months; it seems that she’s about to say something.
Her smile dies as she sees your puffy face and your red nose and eyes.
“Y/N, what happened…?”
For some reason, when you look at her, you start crying again.
Seulgi wides her eyes and runs to where you’re standing, shocked and confused - probably because you have never cried in front of her yet. Never.
“Oh my God, Y/N! What happened?!”
You can’t answer because the sobs won’t let you. You can just rest your face on Seulgi’s shoulder as she hugs you, patting your back. She is so confused that she can’t really think of anything else to do.
After a few minutes of restless crying, Seulgi manages to lead you to sit on the couch and runs back to the kitchen to take a glass of water. She sits by your side and hands you the glass, caressing your hair sweetly.
“Can you talk now, babe? What happened?” She asks again quietly as you try to drink a little bit of water.
You wipe the tears away once again and sniff. This place reminds you of him way too much. It feels that he belongs here, even though it’s not his home. And maybe… maybe he won’t ever step inside, ever again.
“I-It’s J-Jungkook.” it’s hard to speak between the sobs.
“Did you guys fight?” You nod weakly. “Was it that bad?”
Yes. Yes, it was.
After months of pretending, you finally open up to Seulgi. There’s no reason to keep this from her anymore. After Mike’s scandal, that’s probably everything the whole campus will be talking about in the next few days (you saw a lot of familiar faces at the bar).
It seems that Seulgi’s eyes will pop out of her face as you speak.
She stares at you, jaw dropped in pure shock.
“You and Jungkook what?!” is the first thing she exclaims. “Since when?!”
You rest your back on the couch and gaze at the ceiling. The sobs have finally stopped, at least. “Do you remember when I broke up with Mike? When we went to that club?”
“Yes, and you spent the night out…” Seulgi trails off as realization hits her. She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. “That guy you were talking about was Jungkook?!”
You just nod.
Seulgi gasps and rests her back on the couch right by your side, your arms touching. She’s speechless for a while.
“But, like… how many times?”
“I don’t know.” She gasps again.
“That many times?”
You nod. “It was almost daily at some point.”
It seems that she can’t close her jaw anymore. “Where?”
“Here. His apartment. His car.” You frown. “Sometimes a cheap hotel downtown, when you and Jimin were both home.”
Seulgi stays quiet for a little longer.
You side eye her. “You didn’t suspect?”
She shakes her head slowly. “I thought you guys were acting strange for a while now, but I never thought this was going on.” She looks back at you. “Did someone know?”
“Jimin caught us once.” you decide to omit where he caught you. It’s embarrassing to say that you fucked inside Joy’s bathroom out loud and it makes you feel even worse. “But he promised to not tell anyone."
Back to silence. You can almost hear the engines inside Seulgi’s brain trying to process everything you just told her.
“But why did you guys fight?”
You take a deep breath before telling her the rest. Taehyung, Joy, Mike, Yeri. It’s quite painful to explain, but it’s also relieving.
If you thought Seulgi looked shocked before, now it looks like she just found out that Santa is real.
She completely turns her body in your direction, eyes super wide. “Do you like Jungkook?”
You nod softly, staring at your own fingers.
“It’s more than just liking him.” You admit sheepishly.
Then she’s quiet for a long, long time. You decide to finally look up at her.
Now you’re surprised.
“Why the hell are you smiling?”
Seulgi hides her mouth with both hands - as if this wouldn’t let you see the big ass grin on her lips. “I’m sorry. It’s… it’s cute.”
“Cute?” you quirk one eyebrow. “My suffering is cute to you?”
“That’s not what I mean.” she waves her hand dismissively. “I always kind of shipped you two, okay? It’s just that you two looked really good together and you always had such good chemistry and all. But I tried to stop thinking this because, you know, I thought it was wrong to assume that a man and a woman can’t be just friends… and it never looked like you had feelings for him, not at all.”
You stare at her as if she has a second head growing now. “You shipped us?”
“You can’t judge me.”
You cross your arms and sink on the couch even more. This is kind of shocking. “You never thought I liked him?”
Seulgi shakes her head. “Never. Jungkook, though…”
You turn your head to look at her so fast that your neck almost breaks. “What about him?”
She hesitates a little bit before speaking. “Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.”
There it is again. The fast beating of your heart. It’s ridiculous that, even though you’re this miserable, you still feel this spark of happiness inside of you.
For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you!
You press your lips tight in an attempt to hold back the uninvited smile. It’s not appropriate to feel happy now; it feels that you don’t even have the right to feel happy at all. But his confession is hitting you just now. Hitting you like a truck.
God, if only you could go back in time. If only you could just make him shut the fuck up and listen to you. Why did he have to be so damn dramatic?
I love you too, dumbass! Now stop being a cry baby and kiss me!
What if Jungkook never gives you a chance to explain yourself? He can be hard-headed when he wants to. What if Jungkook never lets you get close to him again, what if your intimacy finally dies, what if you get so distant that when you’re in the same room you can’t bear each other’s presence anymore? What if from now on, there won’t be any Jungkook to steal your fries when you’re not looking, or to let you steal his clothes even though he pretends he doesn’t know you’re taking them, or to help you understand a difficult assignment, or to annoy you because he’s bored at 4AM, or to tell you the things no one else would be brave enough to tell you or to just be there when you needed someone the most?
Your brain can’t even comprehend what life without Jungkook is.
A mix of despair and hurry makes you get up in a jump.
“I’m going to his apartment.” Your breath is irregular, adrenaline taking control of your actions. “I-I need to talk to him now.”
“Hey, hey!” Seulgi gets up in a jump and puts her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to stop. “Y/N, you’re not okay. And you said Jungkook is drunk. Do you really think you’ll manage to have a civilized conversation right now? He’s probably still angry, maybe he won’t even listen to you.”
“I don’t care. I’ll shout on his door until he listens to me.”
Seulgi holds you in place again when you try to free yourself from her grip. “This is not a good idea and you know it.” She looks at you very seriously. “Take a shower, Y/N. Go to sleep. Tomorrow you’ll both be cold-headed and able to talk.”
“B-But,” you feel the tears coming back. Fuck. You hold Seulgi’s arms weakly. “But he needs to know the truth. He needs to know I like him back.”
The black-haired girl frowns. “Like him back…?”
You nod and look down. “He… he said that he’s in love with me.”
“Really?!” Seulgi huffs and taps your forehead lightly. “Then why are you so desperate?! He loves you back, dummy!”
“But I’m scared, Seulgi.” You sniff.
She rolls her eyes and pushes you into another hug. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. There’s no need to be worried. You already know the most important. Tomorrow you go talk to him, alright?” She chuckles softly. “Never thought I’d see you acting like this.”
You sniff again. “Now you understand how it is to deal with a stupid lovesick roommate.”
“Ouch.” You notice how she pats your back a bit aggressively. “But for real, Y/N… I’ll always be thankful for what you did today to me and Irene. Even though it was none of your business. And I’ll probably beat you up if you ever intervene in my life like that again-”
“Wow, I really see how you’re thankful, Seul.” She chuckles again.
"And I'm kind of offended that you hid this from me for so long."
"We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about this!"
"Alright, alright." She sighs. “I love you so much, you crackhead. And Jungkook loves you, too. You don’t need to be sad anymore, okay? Just take a shower and go to sleep now.”
You nod weakly.
Maybe she’s right. You’ll have enough time to talk to him tomorrow.
But you don’t think you’ll get any sleep right now.
***
[you]: jungkook
[you]: can we talk?
[you]: we really really need to talk
[you]: can i go to your place?
[you]: please
[you]: i know you’re reading
[you]: stop ignoring me
[you]: jungkook
[you]: JUNGKOOK
You sigh heavily. This is so frustrating. He didn’t even leave you on read - you’re sure he’s just reading the texts on the notifications and swiping them away. He didn’t block your number, which is a good sign, but this is already getting on your nerves. You’ve been texting since early in the morning (because you couldn’t sleep) and it’s already 5PM.
“He’s ignoring my texts.” You whine to Seulgi as you enter the living room.
“You said he had things to do today, right? Maybe he’s actually busy.” She says as she checks her makeup on the mirror. It’s been a long time since you saw her getting all pretty like this; she did her nails, made curls on her hair, put on that green skirt she bought months ago but never wore it. This is what being happy and in love looks like. Pretty, well-dressed, nice hair, healthy skin and all.
Meanwhile, your hair looks like a bird nest, you’re wearing the ugly Naruto t-shirt you have since middle school, your entire face is swollen and you have bags under your eyes. This is also what being in love looks like, unfortunately.
“Why don’t you just go to his apartment already?”
“You told me not to do it.”
“I told you not to do it yesterday. Today he’s not drunk anymore.”
You cross your arms. “I’m… I’m still kind of nervous.”
Seulgi turns around and looks at you and quirks her eyebrow. There’s the ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I never thought I’d see you nervous because of anyone. You look like a teenager…”
"I swear to God, if you say that you think I look cute one more time I'll fucking kill you."
Seulgi laughs and runs to you again, putting her hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, do you remember how you were always telling me that I was complicating simple things?"
"Yes."
She lifts her eyebrows. "So."
You roll your eyes and huff. "But it's not that easy!"
"Now you understand how I felt, huh?" Her eyes soften again. "For real, though. If you show up at his door he won't ignore you, I'm sure. Just go."
You sigh again and nod. "You're right. Just… let me build some courage, okay?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She looks a bit worried. "I could go out with Irene another day."
"No, no. Go on your date." You wave your hands. "I'm not gonna die. Also, your pussy must be dusty after so long-"
She smacks your shoulder a bit too strongly as you let yourself laugh for the first time today.
When Seulgi leaves, you still stand in the middle of the living room for a good while. Like a Sim whose action has just been cancelled.
Whoever is playing you is really evil for putting all the wrong people in the wrong places past night.
You know that you’re not being rational. You should have gone to his house a long time ago… but something holds you back. Perhaps because now there’s no turning back. You know what you feel for Jungkook and you know what he feels for you - your relationship got completely out of its comfort zone, and now you can’t even pretend anymore. Things won’t ever be the same.
Maybe Jungkook is ignoring you because he’s embarrassed of what Mike did. He basically exposed you two in front of his friends. Sure, that’s none of no one’s business, but still… Jungkook didn’t want anyone to know about it in the first place.
You stare at your phone for a good while. Your reflection on the phone’s screen stares back at you in disgust.
For the hundredth time today, you unlock it and open Jungkook’s number. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard hesitantly.
[you]: jungkook i know youre mad at me and you have all the rights to be but
You frown and delete the text. It doesn’t sound good.
[you]: can you stop being dramatic and just text me back already?
You feel tempted to send this one, but if Jungkook’s angry, this will only make the situation worse. You sigh and try again one more time
[you]: i just really want to talk. you didnt let me speak last night. i know youre probably busy but please. i wont take much of your time
This one sounds about right. You tap the send button.
Then, your fingers mindlessly type one more text. It makes your heart beat fast just looking at it.
[you]: i love you too
You want to send this one so bad.
But you don’t.
Because this isn’t something to be told by text.
Coward! the angry voice of your consciousness yells in your mind. Stop being a coward! You’re an evolved human being, not a stupid teenager! Get this ass up the couch and go meet him!
You get up in a jump.
“I’m not a coward!” you say out loud. If you weren’t this out of your mind, you would have noticed how stupid it was to scream encouraging words by yourself in the living room.
But you don’t care right now.
You don’t care that your face is all puffy and the dark circles around your eyes make you look like a raccoon. You don’t care that you’re wearing your ulgy Naruto t-shirt with old ketchup stains, and you don’t care that you’re wearing the sweatpants that fall down your butt as you walk, and you don’t care that your hair looks like a living animal.
You just straight out leave your home and march to his. Flip flops and all.
Your heart beats at a stupid race as you walk, the sun already disappearing behind the buildings. The anxious part of your brain keeps reminding you that you don’t know what to say when you meet him and you don’t know what his reaction will be, but you shut this whiny voice up. Being with Jungkook always meant that you didn’t have to think a lot in the first place. Being with him is natural, it takes no effort. When you see him you’ll know what to say. You’re sure.
Yet, you can’t help but feel more and more nervous as you enter his apartment building (you never needed to ask permission to enter). You close your hands in fists, gulp multiple times, your heartbeat sounds like drums on your ears.
Your hand hovers over the door.
“Shit,” you whisper to yourself. It’s real. It’s happening. Come on. Don’t be a coward.
After taking one more deep breath, you finally knock on the door.
There’s noise inside. Steps. Fuck, you’re shaking.
You hear the sound of the door unlocking and you hold your breath ready to face him-
Jimin.
He widens his eyes and blinks.
“Oh. Hi, Jimin.” you say awkwardly. Why is he looking at you this way? “Hm, is Jungkook home?”
Jimin looks hesitant for a moment.
“No.”
It’s your turn to widen your eyes. So that’s why he isn't texting you back. This makes you a bit relieved.
“Is… is he working?” You can’t hide your disappointment.
“Not yet. He starts tomorrow.”
You put your hands on your waist and walk from side to side as Jimin just watches you in silence.
“Jimin, at what time he’ll be home tomorrow? Do you think it’ll be too late in the night? I really need to talk to him, but that fucker keeps ignoring my texts.”
You don’t like the face Jimin is making now.
You really don’t like it.
He scratches the back of his neck and frowns. “He… he didn’t tell you?”
This makes you stop.
“Tell me what?”
Jimin exhales and gulps.
“He told you that he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, right? That director.”
“Yes.” Each word of his makes you more and more worried.
“So… this project he’s involved in…” Jimin licks his lips before continuing. “It’s overseas.”
You stare at him in silence as this information sinks in.
“Overseas?! Are you telling me he fucking left the country?!”
“Yes.”
You can’t believe what you just heard.
“B-But- yesterday Jungkook and I were planning to go out! This makes no sense!”
“Well,” Jimin looks hesitant again. “In fact, his flight is tomorrow morning, but he left earlier because we kind of had an argument.” He sends you an apologetic gaze. “He was drunk yesterday and all and I was trying to calm him down and I might have accidentally let it slip that I knew about you two, and this kinda pissed him off even more because, well, he was drunk and you know how Jungkook gets stupid when he’s drunk, so I think he left to his parent’s house and he’ll head to the airport tomo- wait, are you crying?!”
You sniff and hide your face behind your hands.
“Oh my God,” Jimin sounds confused and borderline panicked as he watches you start sobbing again. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“B-Because h-he-!” you can’t fucking speak anymore.
Jimin puts a hand on your back and guides you to sit on the couch. He brings some tissues and pats your back awkwardly as you cry and sob like stupid.
“W-Why didn’t he tell me he was l-leaving?” you ask yourself.
Jimin sighs. “Y/N, it’s not like he’s leaving forever. It’s just for this project. He’ll be back by the end of the week.”
“B-But he would’ve told me something so important!” You blow your nose. Jimin frowns. “I didn’t know this project was so huge! What, is it a movie or something?”
“It’s a music video.” You stare at Jimin in disbelief. “Jungkook has been around the recording studio with Namjoon and Yoongi a lot. He ended up meeting Mr. Choi, who has been directing some music videos for Big Hit Records’ artists. He liked Jungkook’s work and invited him to work as an assistant… I mean, the assistant of the assistant, as Jungkook himself said.”
You exhale, feeling your shoulders drop. “Why didn’t he tell me this?”
Jimin’s eyes soften. “Your friendship hasn’t been in the best shape these days, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”
You rest your elbows on your legs and hide your face behind your hands again. You didn’t want to be crying this bad again, yet you just can’t stop. You don’t even know why you’re crying anymore. Jimin just caresses your back in silence as your sobs start quieting down.
“You were right,” you say at some point.
“What?”
“When you told me not to hurt him. I was hurting him and I didn’t even realize. I’m so stupid.”
Jimin tilts his head. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Y/N. You were both stupid.” You side eye him.
“Jungkook said that he’s in love with me.” This makes him quirk his eyebrows.
“Oh.”
“You don’t look very surprised.”
“I’m not.”
“Did… did he tell you?”
“No.”
“Was it that obvious?”
Jimin presses his lips together hesitantly. “Do you want me to comfort you or do you want me to be honest?”
“Be honest.”
“It was pretty fucking obvious that he’s in love with you. At least for me.”
You exhale and swipe your hands over your face. “I’m so stupid!” you repeat.
“Look, Y/N, to be honest, I think Jungkook is the most stupid. He was torturing himself with this fuck buddies thing, you know? He agreed to it in the first place. Everyone knows that this type of thing shouldn’t involve feelings, but he was the one to throw himself into it while he already had feelings.”
“It’s not like he’s the only one, though.”
Jimin seems about to say something, but he stops and stares at you, jaw-dropped.
“Wait, what do you mean?”
You rest your back on the couch. “I mean that I was also stupid enough to throw myself into it while having feelings.”
He’s quiet for a few more seconds.
“Do you mean that you like him back?”
You don’t answer.
Much like Seulgi, it looks like Jimin just discovered something world-shocking. “Since when? Have you liked him since the beginning?”
You sigh sadly.
“No, I haven’t. To me, it was just fun. Until I realized that he was getting too far from my reach and- and I realized that Jungkook has never been too far, never, and I don’t know what to do when he’s not around.” You sniff. You’re not talking to Jimin anymore at this point; you’re talking to yourself. “Y-You know, now that I think about it, I… I guess I understand why it was always so good. Not just because he fucks good or because of his big dick-”
“I don’t need to hear this, do I?” Jimin whines in disgust.
“-but because it was him.” One more tear rolls down your cheek. “It was good because it was with him.”
The way you always felt comfortable to be naked in front of him. How it was always lighthearted and fun and exciting. You had good sex with other people before, but never like this. Maybe because these other people didn’t have Jungkook’s handsome smile or because their eyes didn’t gleam with excitement the way his does or because they didn't smell like baby powder. Or maybe because it was never scary to be exposed in front of him because he already knew everything about you - there wasn’t really anything else to expose.
Jungkook felt like home.
Now, you feel homeless.
You wipe the tears away once more and look at Jimin-
“Why are you smiling?”
Doesn’t this scene look familiar?
“I’m sorry, it’s just that- wow, I don’t even know what to say.” Jimin doesn’t even try to hide his smile. “I’ve been waiting so long for this. Like, I kind of suspected that you had feelings for him, but I couldn’t be sure because you’re a hard bitch to read. To be honest, when I saw what you two were doing I wanted to kill you because you couldn’t be this blind to not realize how he feels about you-”
“Can you stop being honest for a moment?”
“Oh.” Jimin gulps, but he can’t stop smiling. “I’m sorry.”
You sigh again and cross your arms. “What if he never lets me explain myself, Jimin?”
“Stop the drama.” Jimin’s voice hardens suddenly. “You two are very similar in this sense, you know? I’m sure that Jungkook will listen to whatever you have to say. And he’ll be away for just four days! It’s not like he’s leaving forever.”
You sit there in silence for some moments. You’re sure that if you tell that you’re scared to talk to Jungkook, he will probably beat you up. He never had that much patience.
Jimin exhales heavily and gets up. “Wait a minute.” You watch as he walks into Jungkook’s empty bedroom, frowning. He stays there for a little while. When he comes back to the living room, he stops in front of you and hands you something.
“Jungkook’s gonna kill me when he finds out, but I don’t care.”
“What is this-?”
“Just take it already. And watch it when you’re back home. It’s so personal that I got uncomfortable the first time I watched it.”
“Then why are you giving it to me-?”
“Just fucking take it, Y/N!”
You take the small device before Jimin makes you swallow it.
He smiles sweetly.
“Everything will be fine, okay? Don’t worry. I’m always right.”
You stare at the small black pen drive in between your fingers.
This time, you genuinely hope he’s right.
You had honestly forgotten how it feels to get drunk.
At the same time that the dizziness feels familiar, it's also hitting you like a truck. Your friends didn't believe you when you said that you'd stop drinking, yet you've been loyal to your word. Of course, it's not like you didn't drink anything in all those months, but a single beer isn't the same as a pack of beer.
The way your body's responding to the alcohol in your system isn't right. Your stomach is already tangling around itself, you can't walk a straight line from the couch to the kitchen counter without feeling that there's holes opening on the floor, and your thoughts are more incomprehensible than usual. You'd usually not get drunk so fast - and surely not with just beer. You're the girl that was still very sober after many tequila shots that time a random date of yours was trying to get you drunk - he ended up drunk after a few shots, of course, and you left the son of a bitch alone while he vomited on himself.
Being in love sure has changed you a lot.
Look, it's not the first time you drink to forget about your problems. You've been doing that since high school and you're tired of hearing Jungkook say how this behavior is unhealthy (he's right, as usual). This time, though, you're not forgetting about your problems, you're just thinking about them more.
It doesn't help that you're listening to Seulgi's playlist on Spotify called "i miss you irene." You laughed your ass off when you found out she really made a heartbreak playlist and named it like that. "You're torturing yourself, Seulgi," you told her. I mean, why would someone sad listen to songs that will only make them more sad?
Well.
Here you are now, laying on the carpet as Spending my Time by Roxette is blasting on the speakers.
People really knew how to write heartbreak songs back in the 90s.
"Fuck you, Jungkook." you mumble, staring at the ceiling. "I'm shoving alcohol up my ass. You can't tell me what to do."
Jungkook, that fucker. Why didn’t he listen to you? Why didn’t you shut him up? If there was a way to go back in time you’d do it. You wouldn’t have kissed Taehyung, you wouldn’t let him get the wrong impression. You wouldn’t have encouraged Jungkook to be with Joy. Fuck, if you could go back in time you would have woken up that first morning in Jungkook’s bed and said that it meant a lot to sleep with him, that you were willing to not be just friends anymore.
(Of course, back then you didn’t feel that way, but you’re drunk and sad. Give yourself a break.)
Now, you can’t tell him what you feel because he’s somewhere overseas. He probably bought new clothes for such an important occasion. You imagine him being in a real set for the first time, his eyes gleaming as he watches the staff working, him trying to hold his excited smile back because he’s supposed to look professional and-
You sniff. You have a stuffy nose. Fuck.
You're so drunk that you can't really control your actions anymore. If Seulgi were here, she would probably stop you. But she's not here. She's somewhere with Irene.
So you take your phone, tap the Instagram app and start typing.
[@you]: hell o 😅😂🤣😊
[@you]: its been a log time how u doing???
[@you]: what if we meeet????
And unfortunately, she replies.
[@yerimiese]: hi 🤗
[@yerimiese]: yeah, sure!
[@yerimiese]: when can we meet?
It’s the back pain that makes you wake up the next day because you slept on the floor. You’re dizzy and confused, your poor brain trying to understand what’s happening, why you’re on the floor, why there’s so many empty beer cans around you and why your phone is flashing with notifications from last night.
When your sight finally adjusts to the light your phone screen produces, your eyes widen and you stand up in a jump, making your back ache even more.
Did you seriously DM Yeri and she seriously agreed to meet you?!
It’s currently 11:40 AM - and you agreed to meet at noon.
You run to your bedroom so fast that it makes you dizzy and you end up hitting your hip against the doorframe and it feels like you fucking broke it. You just have time to wear the first clean clothes you see laying around, tie your hair up and run to take the first bus you see.
You could’ve just told Yeri that you weren’t going anymore, of course, even though she agreed to meet you and it would’ve been kind of rude. You know it’s going to be the most awkward moment ever to see her after so long, especially now that you have feelings for her ex. Gosh - you’re already feeling so much embarrassment that you feel like jumping out of the bus and running back home. Why the fuck do you always end up doing stupid things when you’re drunk?!
But again - it’s that same chaotic side of you that makes you stay inside the bus and meet her. This chaotic side takes a good portion of your personality, it just gets more outgoing when you’re drunk. The same chaotic side that made you start some friends with benefits bullshit with your best friend just because you liked the idea of not being caught and the same chaotic side that made you passive aggressively flirt with Taehyung when you didn’t really want anything with him-
How the fuck did your friends even stand you?!
You’re forced to stop the existential crisis when you see that you arrived at the park. You feel a shiver run down your spine.
Yeri is sitting on the bus stop.
She looks prettier than you remember; her hair is short and blonde now, which makes her look more mature. Yeri was always one to walk around well dressed, but right now it feels almost humiliating that she's all pretty when you literally look like a scarecrow.
She smiles awkwardly and gets up. You didn't even say anything yet and it already feels awkward.
"I’m so sorry, Yeri,” is the first thing you say as you approach each other. “Did I make you wait too long?”
“No! It’s alright. I also got a little bit late.” She says, smiling prettily. Pretty is a word that overall describes her very well. “So, how you’re doing?”
“I’m doing fine!” You’re doing anything but fine at the moment. “What about you?”
“I’m fine, too.”
Silence.
My good Lord.
You start to regret all of your life choices right here and right now. You don’t see this girl in almost a year, you’re not close anymore, you know nothing about her life. Why the fuck did you even come anyway?! The awkwardness is so big that you can almost touch it.
There’s also a small and annoying thought that grows as you watch her - a thought you try very hard to ignore, but you can’t - that this is the girl Jungkook used to fuck before he started fucking you, that he used to go down on her and that he used to be inside of her and that those pretty lips of her once were around his cock and for some reason you start getting really angry-
“Do you wanna have a drink?” Yeri suddenly says.
You blink. “Hm… it’s 12PM.”
“And?” She quirks an eyebrow.
She’s perceptive, this one. Nothing’s better to break the ice than alcohol.
You don’t even know what you’re doing here anyway, so who cares?
“Sure. I know a bar nearby.”
Yeri slams the empty glass on the counter and stares at you, shocked.
“Mike did what?!”
You nod and swallow one more shot. Your tastebuds are so used (even calloused) from this bitter taste that you don’t even scowl as the drink slides down your throat. “Yeah. It seems that he was cheating on me for a while with that bitch. I caught them inside the lab.”
Yeri stares ahead. She looks speechless. “I will be honest… I heard that he was cheating on you, but I never thought this happened.” She shakes her head slowly. “Why the fuck were they inside a lab anyways? Are they stupid?”
“The lab was deactivated. That part of the science building was being renovated.” You sigh. Reviving those memories is kind of painful right now, especially after what Mike did to you some nights ago. Honestly, he could die and you wouldn’t care. “I was looking for him. His friends told me he went in that direction… well, kinda weird that they snitched on him like that. Maybe they really didn’t know. Anyways, I still don’t know how they got the key to the lab.”
Yeri nods. “Wow… I am really, really shocked. You guys were a pretty couple.” She gesticulates with her hand. “One more shot, please.”
“Me too, please.” You say.
The bartender looks at you two with visible worry. There’s no one else in the bar - who the fuck drinks so much this early? Wait, why is this bar even opened this early? - so he’s obviously hearing your whole conversation. You wonder what’s his opinion on your fucked up love life.
“Are you sure, girls? Shouldn’t you slow down a little bit?” He asks hesitantly.
You wave your hand dismissively. “Nah, we’re good.” You’re still not dizzy, just a little talkative. Getting drunk yesterday seemed to awaken all of your high tolerance superpowers. Pretty Yeri also isn’t one to get drunk that easily.
“We’re strong girls.” She reassures. The bartender shrugs as he prepares two more shots. “You seemed to like him a lot.”
“I did.” You admit.
“And he seemed to like you, too. I never expected that. Well… to be honest, Jungkook sometimes told me that he didn’t like Mike and that he was sure that he wasn’t a good guy.”
The sudden mention of his name makes you freeze. You realize that Yeri freezes, too. It seems that she’s also surprised for bringing him up like this. Yeri looks down at the new shot the bartender just placed in front of you two.
“It seems that he was right. As usual.” She finishes in a much lower voice, drinking her shot in one go.
This single sentence makes you realize that “Jungkook” is still a delicate topic for her. Of course it’d be - you don’t know much about their break up, but you sure know it was anything but friendly. Jungkook got pretty fucked up for a few weeks after their break up - and the fact that he refuses to talk about it to this day is enough of an indication.
Shit.
“Anyways, it didn’t stop there.” You decide to go back to your suffering for now, so she can get distracted. “The day before yesterday I bumped into him. He was drunk and made a scandal. Called me a bitch in front of everyone.”
Yeri gasps and looks at you wide eyed. “What? Please, tell me someone punched the fuck out of him!”
“Yeah, my friend did before I could.” You’re not telling her which friend, of course. “It was satisfying. Still made me feel really bad, though.”
“You shouldn’t. You did nothing wrong, Y/N. He’s the son of a bitch here.” Yeri reassures.
You nod and drink. “But enough of talking about my depressing love life. What about you?”
Yeri sighs, holding the small cup with both hands. “I’m doing fine, I guess. Didn’t really get serious with anyone yet. I’m seeing a guy, though. I don’t think I like him yet, but he’s about right. Who knows?” She says, shrugging.
You nod slowly. We’re getting into dangerous waters now. “I’m glad we’re both moving on, I guess.”
Yeri goes quiet for a while.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
A deep silence settles after this. You stare at the empty cup blankly, feeling the tension building up.
"I… have to be honest." Yeri starts quietly. "It was surprising that you called me after so long." She taps her nails on the counter slowly. "And I have the feeling that you called me for a very specific reason."
You nod slowly. She's not stupid. "You're right."
Yeri hesitates for a second. "You didn't… Jungkook didn't ask you to come here to talk to me, right?"
You almost gasp. Jungkook doesn't even dream that you're with her right now. "No, no. He didn't. You know I'm kinda nosy, but I have my limits too."
Yeri quirks her eyebrows and nods. You really hope that this tiny thing you saw deep in her eyes wasn't disappointment. You really hope that deep down Yeri doesn't still like him.
"So… why did you call me, then?"
You sigh. She came all this way just to meet you, so you have to at least be honest right now.
"I was drunk yesterday when I texted you."
"Oh." Yeri widens her eyes. "I thought there was something wrong with you by the way you were texting."
You chuckle. "But… I did call you because of Jungkook, somehow." You say carefully, She stiffens. "I know it's kinda cruel to do this. If you want to simply leave or if you want to slap me, I won't judge you. But… we had a really ugly fight these days and I don't know what to do. I was hoping that maybe… maybe you could help me understand him."
Yeri goes very, very quiet after this.
"Did you guys fight because of me?" She asks after a while.
"No and yes." Yeri was one of the things that got you overthinking anyways. "I… I really need to know. Again, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to. But… why did you guys break up?"
Yeri turns her head slowly to look at you. There's something very serious and hardened on her eyes.
"He never told you." It wasn't a question. You shake your head. "Well, I figured he wouldn't." She looks back to the cup between her hands; you can see she's thinking hard. "Y/N, I always admired your friendship with him. What you have is something truly special. Maybe you won't want to know why. Maybe I don't want to tell you because I don't want to destroy your friendship."
"My relationship with Jungkook won't ever go back to what it used to be anyways. I don't care."
Yeri looks surprised. She still hesitates for some moments - what makes your blood boil in expectation - but finally sighs and nods.
"Alright, then." She crosses her arms. "I broke up with him because of you."
You stare at her, jaw dropped.
"What? What did I do?" You ask, genuinely confused.
"You did nothing." She chuckles drily. "That's why I couldn't hate you, you know. And I tried to hate you really hard."
You don't know what to say. Some girls Jungkook had some sort of relationship with were very jealous of you, you knew, but Yeri was different. "Were you… were you jealous of me and him? But Yeri- you know we weren't like that."
This is not a lie. You weren't like that while they still dated. You were too stupidly in love with Mike to notice the person that was standing right by your side all along.
"I know." She nods. "I know you didn't. But Jungkook did."
You freeze.
"What?"
Yeri finally looks at you again - clear sadness on her eyes.
"Jungkook loves you. Not in a way a friend does."
You’re absolutely speechless.
Your heart is beating so fast that you think you’re about to faint. Your brain malfunctions and it seems that you lost the ability to speak for a few moments. This shouldn’t shock you - Jungkook confessed his feelings himself not long ago, and Jimin also said how he knew about Jungkook’s feelings - goddamn, even Seulgi noticed it a little bit. But back then? When he was still dating Yeri?
“B-But Yeri-” you hate the way you’re stuttering and you hate how Yeri is telling you something she obviously doesn’t like, but you still feel so fucking happy and fuzzy inside. “Jungkook was in love with you. I’m sure.”
“I thought so, too. And he thought he was in love with me.” Yeri stares ahead again, and in this moment you realize that yes, it still hurts her. “You know… Jungkook was too much like a dream.” She chuckles to herself, as if she can’t believe in what she’s saying. “He was perfect in every sense. His good looks, the way he was always so sweet… God, even the way he’s in bed.” Yes, he’s unbeatable in bed, you want to agree. “Too perfect to be true.”
Yeri goes quiet again for a while. She stares at the cup as if it’s showing her something important she can’t look away from.
“I started to realize why it was so perfect.” Her voice sounds painfully fragile. “He was trying too hard. Always trying his best. At first I thought that it was a good thing… We all want someone that’s always trying their best for you, right? But then… then, I started to watch how he acted when he was around you. Y-You know what’s worst in all this? It’s not like you two gave me actual reason to be jealous. You were never touchy around each other. You were even dating back then, and you two avoided going out together because Mike and Jungkook never got along well. I know it.” She sounds like she wants to cry. It makes you feel really, really bad.
“But… fuck, it was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. With you, he wasn’t trying anything. He didn’t need to try. I saw how he was so comfortable around you and… well, I didn’t need to be a genius to understand that he was so stupidly in love with you that it got him blind.” Yeri inhales and exhales deeply. “Jungkook was too much like a dream. But everyone has to wake up sometime, and I didn’t want to be there when he woke up from his. So I left him before I could get any more hurt.”
You can just stare at her, jaw dropped, adrenaline making your breathing shaky.
“Yeri, I never… I didn’t…” you stupidly stutter.
“I know you didn’t.” She nods. “I even pitied Jungkook, you know. Because he didn’t want to see what he really felt, and because you obviously didn’t feel the same.” Yeri chuckles. “That’s why I can’t hate you. That’s also what gave me some sense of revenge. At least he’s suffering a little bit.”
You’re both very, very quiet for some time.
“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. She doesn’t know you’re apologizing for putting her under the torture of telling those memories that are still painful for her. You weren’t expecting that Yeri still felt so affected by her past relationship even after so long.
“You don’t need to apologize.” She shakes her head slowly. “It wasn’t meant to be. That’s all. We would both keep suffering like that.” Yeri exhales again and looks at you. “Well… I guess I’m going now. I really hope I didn’t completely kill your relationship with him.”
She didn’t.
She quite helped to save it, actually.
Yeri takes some money from her purse and puts it over the counter, paying for her drinks. As she gets up from the stool, you say:
“Thank you for telling me, Yeri. I really wish you all the happiness you deserve.”
The blonde girl opens a small smile. You see why Jungkook fell - well, at least thought he fell - for her. Maybe Yeri doesn’t know it, but she also looks like a dream. You just hope she’ll find someone that will wake her up to see the most beautiful, warm and lovely reality.
“Thanks. See you around.”
She leaves.
You just sit there, all alone, staring at the counter.
Well- not exactly alone.
The bartender is furiously side-eyeing you.
“What?” You ask drily.
He presses his lips together. “I don’t think I should say anything…”
You tilt your head. “Go ahead. You heard everything anyway.”
The bartender stops in front of you. There’s something wise about him. That’s probably the result of hearing hundreds and hundreds of love stories every night - day, in your case.
“That dude you guys were talking about,” he says. “Your friend. You like him, right?”
You stare at him seriously. “Why would you think that?”
“Because your eyes lit up so much as she talked that I thought you were going to explode.”
Fuck. You can’t even pretend anymore. You avoid his gaze, embarrassed, and nod. “I do.”
He lifts his eyebrows. “Then, and excuse my intrusive ass, what the fuck are you waiting for?” He almost looks annoyed, as if he’s having to explain something painfully obvious. “Go after him, woman!”
You stare at him.
He’s right.
What the fuck are you waiting for?
Oh, right. You’re waiting until he comes back, because he’s fucking overseas.
It makes you so, so angry. After everything you just heard, after everything you’re feeling right now, you wanted nothing more but to run to him and make him listen to you. You want to see him, to hug him, to make him understand that he’s your most important person in the world, that you can’t see yourself in a world where he isn’t around.
But guess what - you’ll have to wait three days to meet him.
You look so grumpy on your way back home that people deliberately avoid looking at you. Seulgi and Irene are there when you arrive; Seulgi looks worried, Irene looks confused, you just decide to say you’re alright and lock yourself inside your bedroom because you can’t physically look at a happy couple right now.
You throw yourself on the bed and scream against a pillow.
If someone told you you’d be feeling so many things when all of this started, you wouldn’t have believed. You were always someone to continuously keep the fuck it button pressed - or at least, you pretended you did. Like that, you could trick your heart into believing you weren’t hurt by some jerk who cheated on you, that you didn’t feel like a piece of shit for drowning your problems in alcohol, that you didn’t care that most of your “friends” just cared about you when it came to parties and having fun, that there was never really anyone that truly took you seriously in a relationship.
It’s really easy to pretend those things aren’t real. But it’s just like Yeri said - one moment, everyone has to wake up. To you, waking up means facing the consequences of your actions, to face your feelings.
And it really hurts right now.
It also reminds you that the person you’d usually let your guard down for was Jungkook. You were never embarrassed to be weak in front of him - and it was the other way round. You were always in tune. Always in synergy.
This makes you remember the little black pen drive laying on the nightstand.
You sit in a jump, taking your laptop and the pen drive. Just feeling the device between your fingers makes you feel nervous… that’s why you still didn’t check what’s inside of it yet. Jimin said it was something personal. You’ve been hesitating to see whatever it is.
It can’t be bad, can it?
You plug the pen drive in your laptop.
The files tab pops up. There’s actually only one file inside the pen drive - a video. It’s called euphoria final test i swear to god.
You chuckle. This is so Jungkook.
Your finger still hovers over the touchpad hesitantly. It looks like one of Jungkook’s test videos - you’ve seen plenty of those. Nothing new. Nothing to be scared of. You double click.
The video opens up and fills up the screen.
It’s a vertical video recorded on selfie mode. Jungkook is walking down the university hall; he has a playful smile on his lips. The video shows you walking by his side, a grumpy expression on your face.
You remember this. He actually posted this on his Instagram stories around one year ago. His hair was way shorter back then. Why does he still have something so silly?
“Y/N’s team lost the championship.” Jungkook says. Of course he looks happy. He roots for the rival team. “How are you feeling right now?”
“Fuck you.” Is all you say.
Jungkook laughs loudly.
Another video.
A song kicks in.
It starts with the sweet melody of a piano. You frown, not recognizing this song at all.
Then the voice of the singer kicks in, and you feel your whole body freezing.
It’s Jungkook’s voice.
He sounds soft and angelic as you’ve always known - only this time, through professional mics and mixing. This itself is already shocking. You always felt blessed for being one of the few people to know of Jungkook’s singing ability, but this is different. He sounds like a professional singer, someone that makes a living out of it.
You remember Namjoon’s voice.
Hah, Jungkook didn’t tell you yet? He has been working with us! We’re doing a good job. He lent his voice to record some demos.
You then remember what Jungkook told you.
I… I kind of helped them write a song. I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.
Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.
Is… is this the song he was talking about?
Jungkook’s sweet voice sings:
You are the sunlight that rose again in my life
A reincarnation of my childhood dreams
I don’t know what these emotions are
Am I still dreaming?
Your breathing is irregular. Your fingers are shaking slightly.
Because as if his voice wasn’t enough to singlehandedly make you feel completely lost, the video is still passing on.
Videos of you.
You sitting on the university’s library, reading a book. You crying that time you ate tacos that were way too spicy, Jungkook’s laughter from behind his phone ringing softly over the song. You playing Just Dance with Seulgi, ridiculously trying to follow the doll’s moves on the TV. You running after Jungkook down the hall as he laughs because he stole your last cookie. You dancing around your kitchen as you prepare breakfast. You and him singing to Staying Alive that night at Burger King, both of you visibly drunk. Your shocked reaction as you watched a plot twist unfold on the TV - an anime he insisted so much for you to watch that you ended up watching.
I hear the ocean from far away
Across the dream, past the woods
I'm following this clarity
Take my hands now
You are the cause of my euphoria
You remember some of those videos. He posted some of them on his Instagram or Snapchat. Some of them you sent him yourself. Some of them, though, you had no idea that existed. Videos of you doing… nothing. Scrolling down your phone. Reading a book. Watching TV. Some of them look more professional - those are from the times you accepted to be his “model” so he could test his techniques, yet he never let you see any of those videos.
Just you.
You, you, you and you.
Were you wandering around
Looking for an erased dream too?
It’s different from what destiny suggests
We share the same painful views
Won't you please stay in my dreams
Yes, both of you had erased dreams. Your erased dream was Mike. His erased dream was Yeri.
Jungkook thought that you would never be more than friends. What he felt, though, was different from what he thought destiny suggested.
The way you drifted apart from each other. The pain you went through, watching your friendship slowly die. You shared the same painful views.
You don’t know at what moment you start to cry, but now, tears are freely dripping down your cheeks.
Even if the earth crumbles
No matter who shakes this world
Don't let go of my hand
Please don’t wake me up from this dream
You remember that time you were looking at the pictures Jungkook took at a wedding, and you noticed how the groom looked at his future wife with overflowing love. You wondered to yourself if someone has ever looked - or ever would - look at you the same way.
Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.
It was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around.
You’re not seeing him in this video.
Yet, it shows how Jungkook sees you. And you can’t help but think… in his eyes, you look beautiful.
He sings beautifully. Passionately.
Take my hands now
You are the cause of my euphoria
Euphoria
Close the door now
When I’m with you I’m in utopia
As the song slowly ends, the screen shows a last shot from a very old video you didn’t even remember. It’s from your graduation day from high school… actually, a video your mother recorded. The difference is clear from how shaky the camera is. You can’t help but think you look too goofy in your old school uniform.
“Y/N, it’s your graduation day! Next year you’ll live by yourself in a big city!”
“Thanks God. Less bills to pay for,” you hear your father jokingly say somewhere out of sight. You roll your eyes, but still laugh.
“Thank you so much, Dad. I see how much you love me.”
“But I love you, sweetie!”
“Shut up, darling. I’m trying to do an interview.” Your mother shushes him. “So, how do you feel, Y/N?”
You look thoughtful for a moment. That stupid teenager on the screen looks so full of hopes and courage. So young, so naive. “I’m a little bit scared, but I’m excited.” You say.
Then you smile, as if remembering something very important.
“Besides, Jungkook will live next to me, so I’ll be alright.”
The video ends.
You just sit there, sobbing uncontrollably for the next few minutes.
When you clicked that file, you never expected this.
You never expected to feel so loved with just a video.
At the same time, it makes an urge - the strongest urge you’ve ever felt in your life - flow through you. You need to tell Jungkook how wrong those lyrics are.
He doesn’t have to keep dreaming anymore. You’ve woken up from your own dream - and you’re ready to show him the real world in which you love him back, unconditionally.
Irene and Seulgi look worried as they see you marching out of your bedroom, sniffling, tears streaming down your cheeks. Before Irene can say anything, you put both hands on her shoulders and look at her seriously.
“Remember when you said you owed me one? That you’d help me with whatever I needed?”
Irene starts to look scared. “Yes.”
“Were you serious?”
“Of course!”
“Good. Then I need you to buy a flight ticket for me. Today.”
“Are you sure that’s the right hotel, Jimin?” you ask out of breath, your phone almost falling as you balance it between your ear and your shoulder, your hands busy holding your passport and flight ticket. You, Irene and Seulgi run inside the airport, looking like three crazy women in a dangerous mission - which isn’t too far from reality.
“I’m sure, Y/N!” Jimin says through the phone, starting to sound a little bit annoyed. “God, you asked me this a hundred times!”
“But I need to be sure! Can’t you ask him once again?”
“He will start to get suspicious. I already had to make up one hell of an excuse to make him tell me which room he’s in without sounding creepy.”
“Room 23, right?”
“Room 32!”
“So, is he sure that’s the right hotel?” Irene asks.
“Yes.”
She clicks something on her phone. “Good. It’s not too far from the airport. You’re lucky there was a room available!”
“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” Seulgi asks, looking borderline panicked. “You’re not going to die if you wait a few days until he comes back.”
“Yes, I am going to die if I wait any longer.”
“So dramatic.” Jimin says over the phone. You can even see him rolling his eyes.
“Shut up!”
“Why are you telling me to shut up?!” Seulgi asks, offended.
“No! I was talking to Jimin!” You finally hold the phone with your hand. “Okay, Jimin. I’m hanging up. Thank you so much for your help.”
“Don’t fucking die out there.” Jimin says, but you can hear the smile on his voice. “Good luck!”
You shove the phone inside your back pocket and turn around to look at them.
“Y/N, I don’t trust you alone in a foreign country.” Seulgi says. She does look panicked.
“I don’t trust myself either, but it’s alright.” You reassure her - but she only looks more nervous. You didn’t even bring a suitcase, choosing to just take a backpack with a few clothes and extremely necessary items.
Irene takes something from her wallet and hands it to you. “Here’s my credit card. I will text you the password later.”
You widen your eyes. “Irene, that’s not necessary…”
She shrugs in a dismissing demeanour. “Of course it is. How will you survive out there without money?” This kinda reminds you that this is only one of her credit cards and that whatever money you spend won’t really mean much to her. Still, you take the card hesitantly, making a mental promise to not spend more than the utmost necessary. “Your room is booked. You can ask a taxi to take you directly to the hotel. There’s no way to get lost.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Seulgi says under her breath.
“Seulgi, I will fucking beat you up.”
“Sorry! I’m nervous!” She admits.
Your gaze softens. “I promise I won’t die, okay?”
She steps closer and hugs you tightly. “Be safe. Huh, you’re so stupid, but this is so romantic! It feels like I’m watching a Netflix romcom movie in real life!”
“Why do you always have to bring Netflix up?” Irene wonders under her breath. Seulgi sends her a menacing glare as she steps back again. “Anyways, if you need anything, please call us. Call us as soon as you get out of the plane. Keep us informed.”
“Okay.” You jump over to hug Irene; she gets visibly surprised, not really the type of person to appreciate a lot of physical contact. “Thank you so much, Irene! You’re saving my life!”
“The same way you saved mine.” She giggles. “Now go, unless you want to lose your flight!”
You wave them goodbye one last time before walking to the check-in area.
Yeah. You know that this is very, very stupid to do. You could wait three days. But when your impulsive, chaotic side takes control, you can’t really hold it back. That’s why you get inside the plane even though you’re really fucking scared of flights, going to a country you know absolutely nothing about.
But it’s alright. You’ll be with Jungkook, so it’s alright. Even if he rejects you - it’s alright.
Your chaotic side says that you’ll annoy him until he at least listens to you - and this time, you don’t think your chaotic side is all that wrong.
You get lost.
Which is dumb, because there were lots of information boards around the airport. Maybe that’s why you got lost - too much information, your peanut-sized brain couldn’t process all of that. After walking around the gigantic place for a good thirty minutes, only stopping to buy something very important on a vending machine, you find the exit and the taxi area. The taxi driver sees how desperate you are and it looks like he pities you.
Irene was right; the hotel is only twenty minutes away from the airport. It’s not a super hotel, but it looks like it’s much more expensive than you’d be able to pay (you couldn’t even pay for the flight tickets anyway).
You get more and more and more and more nervous at each passing minute. You feel like you’re about to fucking explode as the receptionist types something you can’t see. When he gives you the key card for your room, you feel goosebumps run down your spine.
It’s now.
Getting inside the elevator, you press the button to Jungkook’s floor. You don’t even want to drop your things in your own room before meeting him. You’re so nervous that, if you wait a little bit more, you’re sure that you’ll pass out.
Every step of yours on the corridor’s carpeted floor echoes in your ears. Your heart beats furiously. Your hands are trembling slightly and you feel cold in your stomach.
Room 23.
You stand in front of it, frozen.
Oh my God.
As expected, you don’t know what you’ll say when you see him. You tried to plan a speech the entire flight as a way to forget you were thousands of feet away from the ground and how fucking scared it made you, but you couldn’t think of anything.
You inhale and exhale deeply. It’s alright. It’s Jungkook who you’re talking about. You’ve always known how to act around him. Right now it’s no different.
Finally, you knock on the door.
“J-Jungkook?” You call, your voice failing slightly.
No response.
Weird. Jimin made sure that Jungkook wouldn’t be working anymore at this hour.
“Jungkook, it’s me. Can we… can we talk, please?” You say a little bit louder, knocking on the door once more. You can't hear any noise coming from inside the room. Come on, Jungkook. You have to open the door before any security guard can drag me away from here.
Your breathing is difficult. Your hands are trembling slightly. It feels that the floor is opening holes under your feet.
"Jungkook, I know you're mad at me. But please… please, let me at least explain myself." It's stupid how you already feel your eyes welling up with tears. Since when you became such a cry baby? Your chest tightens, hurts. "Y-You can't just leave me outside your room like this. Stop being a jerk. I need to tell you… I-I need to tell you that I lo-"
"Y/N?"
You freeze.
You turn around, looking at the exact opposite room in the hallway.
It's him.
Jungkook still holds the doorknob, indicating that he just opened it. He's barefoot, wears shorts and a long sleeved shirt, all black. His damp hair falling slightly over his eyes indicates that he probably just took a shower.
His eyes are so widened that it looks like they're about to pop out of his face.
He sincerely looks at you like you're the weirdest thing he has ever seen in his life.
"W-What-" he stutters, looking like he can't form a coherent sentence. "What the fuck?!"
You're still frozen in place.
You turn around again, looking at the door you were knocking on.
Room 23.
You look back at Jungkook again - the sign on his door.
Room 32.
"Oh." Is all you can say.
Shame suddenly makes your shoulders weight. You really, really hope there's no one inside Room 23.
You both stand there, staring at each other with widened eyes like two scared chipmunks. Your neck and face feels very, very hot.
Jungkook looks like he's recovering from the shock. He didn't hear anything you said, apparently.
"W-What exactly are you doing here?" Jungkook asks, tilting his head to the side. He frowns, looking at you like you're an exotic species.
"Oh." You repeat. Your brain is malfunctioning. You step closer, simply showing him the plastic bag you're holding. "I-I brought you this."
His eyes go from you to the plastic bag and to you again.
"It's banana milk." You explain hurriedly. He widens his eyes slightly. "I mean- it's this country's equivalent of banana milk, I guess. It's the closest thing I could buy in the vending machine."
Jungkook raises his hand slowly and takes it. He's moving carefully, as if this exotic species can jump on him and bite him at any moment.
"Did you take a 5 hour flight just to buy me banana milk?"
"Yes." You agree mindlessly. You feel your entire body burning now. "A-And I also came here to talk, because your dramatic ass didn't let me speak the other day."
Jungkook quirks one eyebrow and crosses his arms slowly. "Alright. I'm listening to you now."
He stares at you very seriously.
His gaze is overwhelming. It almost feels that you're getting small under his eyes. Gosh - you've been wanting to see him for days, but right now, when he's right in front of you, you can't say a damn thing, your brain completely overheating, your braincells melting. You thought you'd know how to act when you met him - but ha, guess what? You don't.
And that motherfucker is just standing there, waiting for you to speak. Just staring at you.
You hold the doorknob in a swift moment and close the door on his face, just letting enough of it open so he can still hear you.
"What-?" He gasps from inside the room.
"Shut up, okay?! I just can't speak looking at you right now." You hold the doorknob so tightly that your knuckles get white. You hate the way your voice is trembling and you hate the way your sight can't really focus on anything around you - that's just how nervous you are.
Jungkook doesn't say anything. You feel him leaning on the other side of the door, waiting patiently.
You inhale and exhale heavily.
"You got so fucking angry at me when I said you were my best friend that night.” You start, not really knowing where you’re going with this. You don’t even know if it’s possible to convey everything you feel through words only. “But you know, it’s- it’s true. You are my best friend. But what you didn’t let me explain is that you’re not just my best friend.”
Your heartbeat thunders on your ears at each word. You can’t see Jungkook’s expression, and at the same time it helps you keep talking, it also makes you more anxious.
“Y-You’ve been with me through everything. You were there with me when I broke my arm when we were kids, and you were there to help me when I thought I wouldn’t get into college, and you were there with me to celebrate when I got into college. It’s even embarrassing that you’ve seen all of my lowest moments.” You rest your head on the door, staring at the carpet under your feet. The first tears roll down your cheeks. “You know everything about me and sometimes I hate it. You’re like… fuck, I hate how cheesy this sounds, but you’re like a part of me. A-And you’re the best part, because- I don’t know how to explain, but you’re always the one making my average self want to be more.”
Normal you would never say something like this. You’re far from being an emotional person and you’re shit with words. But right now you’re crying and sniffling and trembling and you can’t shut your mouth anymore.
“Please, you have to believe me. I would never purposefully hurt you. Whenever I see you sad I die a little bit inside, and to know that I was the cause of your sadness is fucking killing me. It’s killing me.” You sob. “I don’t want to be the cause of your sadness ever again. I-I want to return all the good things you’ve done to me. So, please… I know I’m a pain in the ass to deal with, b-but if you’d let me be by your side… if you’d just bear me a little bit longer until I become someone that you’d want to be with-”
Jungkook opens the door.
You hear him whispering under his breath wait, wait, wait, interrupting you. Gently, he puts his hands on your arms and pulls you inside the room, closing the door right after, so now your back is against the door - right in front of him.
He stares at you, lips parted, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks stunned. Very, very confused. And very hopeful.
His starry eyes are welling up with tears.
“What… what do you mean with all this?” Jungkook asks softly. He almost sounds scared. “What do you really mean?”
You stare at him in silence. His beautiful face. His beautiful self.
You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.
“I love you.” you confess, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I fucking love you. I’m sorry that I took so long to realize.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen.
The next thing you know is that his lips are against yours.
He drops the plastic bag full of banana milk on the floor, holding the back of your neck with one hand and pressing your body against his with the other. He tastes like toothpaste and tears; you can barely breathe, adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream, your fingers grabbing the strands of his damp hair.
When he finally lets go of your lips, you’re both out of breath and trembling.
Then, he smiles - and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life.
He wipes the tears away from your cheeks as his own cheeks are wet with tears. His eyes are smiling too, and you think that you want to keep that smile forever.
“Y-You have… you have no idea of how long- how long I dreamed of hearing this,” Jungkook says quietly, his voice cracking a little bit. He giggles, frowning his eyebrows slightly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right in front of him. “I can’t believe you took a fucking plane to bring me banana milk! How can I stay mad at you when you do this type of thing?!”
You start giggling too. His warmth, his scent of baby powder, the way his eyes are shining as much as diamonds - this is something you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t know you’d ever have.
“God- I fucking love you, too.”
Your heart feels filled.
You smash your lips on his again.
It’s desperate and intense and makes your senses completely dizzy.
You feel the backpack dropping from your shoulders right before Jungkook lifts you up as if you weigh nothing and you circle your legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to where the bed is, sitting down with you on his lap.
Adrenaline and excitement washes over your body in anticipation. It’s even familiar at this point - his gaze clouded with want, your heavy breathings, hands grabbing and caressing everywhere they can find. Jungkook moans quietly against your lips as you grip his hair tightly, humping your clothed core very slowly against his growing erection.
“I missed you so fucking much,” he whispers in that deep voice that makes goosebumps run down your skin, his lips against your neck as he kisses and sucks it. You giggle.
“We fucked just a few days ago,” you point out.
“I miss this everyday. All the time.”
You hold his face, forcing him to look at you.
You might be shit at words, you might not know how to express yourself that well. But one thing you know better than anyone else is how to make him feel good.
So, softly, you push him back until you’re hovering above him and he’s propped up by his elbows.
You don’t say anything. You just smile and start to take his shirt off.
He doesn’t complain.
Your hands roam his exposed skin as you kiss and suck his neck gently. While your lips are still glued on his neck, one of your hands travels to caress his clothed member. Quiet moans come from the back of his throat. Slowly, you kiss your way down his chest and stomach - until you’re kneeled in front of his opened legs.
Jungkook is breathing heavily in anticipation. Maybe it’s the sole sight of you biting your bottom lip as you manage to get his member free from his boxers and shorts that makes it throb. He has to gulp when he sees you spitting on his dick, the feeling of your spit trickling down his member making goosebumps roam his skin.
You hold his member and start to bump it slowly at first - which makes waves of pure pleasure wash over Jungkook, stunning his senses. He hisses when your lips envelop the head of his cock, sucking it. His eyes are half lidded, lips slightly parted, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. He looks so beautiful as he’s being pleasured.
You start taking more of him inside your mouth until you feel him on your throat; Jungkook moans louder. You bob your head up and down his length, taking turns between sucking and bumping his member with your hand, your spit making it easier and producing obscene sounds. Jungkook hisses and groans and moans and then he’s grabbing your hair, making you take more of him inside your mouth. You don’t complain. You just want to make him feel the best he has ever felt.
This time, though, it’s being much quieter than what it usually is. Jungkook just swears a little under his breath. No dirty talking.
His face and neck are covered with blush, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead, his face distorted with pure pleasure. His moans are getting more constant and louder. You wouldn’t mind if he cummed in your mouth right now, but Jungkook hisses and takes his hand off your hair.
“Oh my God- stop. Stop. Come here, babe.”
You decide to just do as he said. As soon as you prop your knees on each side of him, Jungkook sits up again and starts to get rid of your clothing hurriedly - first your pants, then your coat and shirt. When he unclasps your bra, he immediately takes one of your breasts on his mouth, making you moan quietly. His hand pushes your panties to the side to meet your already wet core; you moan louder as he gently caresses it. You unconsciously start moving your hips against his hand, his movements adding more pressure over your clit, his lips still licking and sucking your breasts.
Jungkook decides this was enough to get you wetter. He pushes your panties to the side, holds both sides of your hips as you guide his member to your entrance.
Both of you moan as he enters.
You close your eyes tightly, the feeling of being stretched by him so familiar and so delicious. Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you start to guide yourself up and down on him, never breaking eye contact, watching him carefully. Every deep moan coming from him makes you shiver. The pleasure, the sound of skin hitting skin - how many times have you done it before? You don’t even remember. Yet, right now, it somehow feels fresh and new.
Maybe it’s because there’s more in Jungkook’s eyes than just lust. Maybe it’s because you notice how he watches you with adoration. And maybe it’s because you watch him with the same intensity, the same feeling.
Jungkook grabs the skin of your hips tightly as you increase your pace. He loves your face contorted in pleasure, he loves the sight of your boobs jumping at each move, he loves to feel the soft skin of your ass on his hand. He loves it. Both of you are really sweating now. You kiss him deeply, never decreasing your pace, your tongues entangling around each other, grabbing the strands of his hair.
God, how much he loves it.
He loves it much more now, because he sees how this time, he’s not the only one feeling something beyond physical pleasure. He knows you too damn well. It’s just like that morning at your house. You’re feeling it, too.
You love him, too.
Thinking about it makes him smile. You think it’s simultaneously the hottest and the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.
Jungkook simply circles his arms around your waist and completely switches positions, throwing you on your back on the bed, which makes you giggle. He finally gets rid of your panties and hovers over you, thrusting inside of you once again.
His pace is fast and steady from the beginning. Your moans get higher and higher, louder and louder. You love how his face is so close to yours, how strongly he’s hitting you, how he tightly intertwines his fingers with yours (Jungkook really is the type to intertwine his hands when having sex!)
It’s ridiculous how you feel your eyes welling up with tears in a moment like this.
This moment… It’s not just bodies connecting - it’s souls.
You used to think you and Jungkook didn’t match; you were opposites in many ways. Jungkook is an introvert, you are an extrovert. Jungkook prefers quiet places, you prefer parties. Jungkook works out, you’re too lazy to do so. Jungkook hates coffee. You can’t live without it.
But, it’s in this moment - when he’s inside of you, when all of your senses are stunned by pure pleasure, when everything you can smell is him and everything you can hear is the sounds of bodies against bodies and when everything you can see is his beautiful starry eyes looking right back at you - is when you realize how wrong you were all along.
You’re like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. They need to be different to match. They are different, but when you put them two together, they complete each other.
You’ve always matched.
Seulgi didn't expect to find Jungkook standing in the kitchen when she came home.
Of course - you told her that the flight back home was scheduled at night and you'd probably arrive in the morning. This shouldn't be surprising. Yet, Seulgi still widens her eyes when she sees Jeon Jungkook cooking breakfast, his hair a mess, his face slightly swollen - an indication that he just woke up - wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.
He turns around and smiles. "Oh! Y/N didn't tell me you were coming back so early." He sounds a little bit surprised.
Seulgi notices it immediately.
That smile on his face and those gleamy eyes are just shown by someone that had a long, steamy and tiring night of sex.
Sure, Seulgi knows that you and Jungkook made up - and that you've been fucking for months now - but damn, it's still shocking to see it with her own eyes, considering that you only looked like good friends.
"I didn't know I'd come back early, too." Seulgi says, sitting by the tiny kitchen counter. She was expecting to spend the weekend at Irene’s penthouse, but she had to work. This is one of the reasons why Seulgi loves Irene; Irene could just enjoy her fortune and do nothing, yet, she decides to actively work for the company. She’s admirable.
"Do you want breakfast?" He asks over his shoulder.
"Well… I already had breakfast, but this is smelling really good." She admits. Jungkook nods and proceeds to prepare one more portion. She just watches in silence as he works around the kitchen (and she's also surprised that he knows where everything is, every pot, every spoon, literally everything). He hums quietly, that tiny satisfied smile never leaving his lips.
Seulgi thinks she has never seen him so happy.
It's kind of adorable.
"So, how was your job?" She asks.
"It was great!" Jungkook says excitedly. He chuckles. "I thought I was going to be the assistant of the assistant, but actually I was everyone's assistant. I didn't really do much, but it was great anyways. It's totally different to study about it and see how things work in real life."
Before Seulgi says anything, she sees you coming from your bedroom.
Your face is swollen and your eyes are barely opened; it seems you're not even seeing where you're going. Your hair is a complete mess. You wear one of Jungkook's shirts and Seulgi suspects you're not wearing anything under it.
She watches as you walk on a beeline straight to Jungkook and hug him from behind, burying your face on his back.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" At least that's what she thinks you said, because your voice sounds muffled.
"Because you looked so funny that I didn't want to wake you up." He says softly. Seulgi can hear his smile. "You were drooling and all. I even took some pictures."
"You didn't."
"I did." Jungkook giggles when you punch his back, but still keep your body glued on him.
"Fuck you. What are you cooking anyways? It smells too fucking good." You mumble.
"It's my special recipe." Jungkook moves to take something on the cabinet. You go along. "I can't cook if you keep smashing me like this."
"I don't caaare."
"Since when do you like hugging so much?"
"You didn't know girlfriend Y/N. Girlfriend Y/N likes long hugs."
Jungkook chuckles again. "Nice to meet you, Girlfriend Y/N."
Seulgi just stares, jaw dropped. From all the things she thought she’d see in her life, this is the most unexpected.
This is so cheesy. So not you. Not even when you were dating Mike you were like this.
And Jesus- she has never seen you look happy like this.
You turn your head to look at Seulgi, and she watches awkwardly as you let go of Jungkook and proceed to walk in her direction. You kind of look like a really happy zombie.
“Oh, good morning, Seul. Don’t be jealous. I love you toooo.”
And you throw your arms around her shoulders, hugging her so tightly that she almost falls from the stool.
The only person that doesn’t get shocked at your relationship is your mother.
You casually called her just to talk and gave the news. What she said?
“Well, finally.”
Everyone else is utterly shocked.
When Hoseok saw you kissing each other goodbye the other day - it was just a peck - his eyes got so wide that it seemed they were about to pop out of his face. He stared at you and him, completely shocked, as Jimin just laughed. That was pretty much everyone’s reaction.
You and Jungkook were never the type to be too touchy. It’s still kind of awkward to hand hold in public or call each other things like babe or love. You physically cringe just thinking of calling him “babe”, honestly.
It’s weird, because you’re “officially” dating now, but your relationship isn’t all that different. All the overwhelming awkwardness between you is gone (thankfully), so now you do what you always did; you swear at each other, you have your violent ways of showing affection, he still ghosts you because he’s too busy playing whatever game. The only difference is that now you can fuck without feeling guilty (and oh boy, you’ve been fucking a lot these days) and there’s a lot of kissing. There wasn’t that much kissing back then.
You thought it was impossible, but sex is even better now. It’s more exciting and even funnier - especially because there’s no awkwardness weighting in the room after you both reach your climaxes. Instead, there’s giggles and hugs and soft kisses. You also sleep at each other’s places now, which is good.
To be honest, if you think really hard about it, you’ve been lowkey dating for years. It’s just that now, you fuck a lot.
When you tell him this, Jungkook just chuckles. You don’t think he’s really listening to what you’re saying, though - nor you’re thinking straight anymore. You went out with your friends at a karaoke and, as expected, ended up drinking way too much; you and Seulgi had a singing competition in which none of you won (Irene just sat there looking absolutely embarrassed), Jimin sang a little bit but disappeared at some point (Jungkook said he noticed some hot guy in the side room), Hoseok got so emotional singing Haru Haru by BigBang that he started crying as Seokjin laughed so hard he almost choked, and Jungkook didn’t sing at all (because everybody knew he’s actually good at it and he would humiliate everyone else), until Jungkook silently asked if you wanted to leave (and you did) and you two left before anyone could notice (they were too drunk to notice anyway).
Since he’s drinking, you took a bus. The wrong bus. You’re at the other side of the city now, sitting on the bench of a park, watching the sun rise. It sounds romantic, but really, everything you see is heavy traffic and the grey pollution line in the horizon, almost blocking the sun.
Not that you care.
“We did everything backwards.” Jungkook says, his voice low and a little bit husky. His eyes look heavy because of the alcohol. You love how his hair is tied in a tiny ponytail. “People usually are friends first, then go out on dates, then they fuck.”
“We jumped straight to the fun part!” You say as if it’s obvious. He giggles again.
Peaceful silence. Jungkook watches your intertwined hands sitting on his lap, a small smile on his face. You can see that, even though he’s right by your side, his mind must be far, far away. He’s clearly sleepy. It’s silly - you know this guy almost your entire life, you already have memorized each detail about him - but you can’t take your eyes off of him right now.
You inhale.
“You know.” You start absently. “I saw the video.”
Jungkook frowns and looks at you. “What video?”
You’re trying really hard to hold back a smile.
“I think it’s called euphoria final test I swear to God.”
His eyes widen.
“W-What? Who showed you?!” He groans. “Jimin. Oh my God- I’m gonna fucking kill him!”
You start laughing as you see blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. He hides his face behind his hands and moans painfully.
“Why are you so embarrassed?” You ask, endeared, trying to get his hands off from his face, but he won’t let you.
“You weren’t supposed to watch that! It’s- it wasn’t- ugh!”
“But the song is beautiful, Kook!” You try, still laughing.
“Yeah, the song is alright, but the video?”
“What’s wrong with the video?”
He finally side eyes you for a few seconds. The blush on his cheeks gets redder. He hides his face again, groaning.
“You weren’t supposed to find out about that. Shit, I can’t look at you anymore. I wanna fucking die.”
“Stop being so dramatic!” After a lot of effort, you finally manage to cup his face with your hands. Still, he avoids your gaze. “Hey, hey. Look at me!”
He does.
He looks sheepish and it’s adorable.
“I loved it. Every second of it. You’re so damn talented.”
“B-But I didn’t write the song alone… Namjoon takes most of the credits with the lyrics. I just helped a little bit. A-And you know, it was just for fun, it’s not an official demo or anything-”
He’s forced to shut up when you peck his lips.
“I love you.”
He knits his eyebrows a little bit.
“You like to say this a lot.” He notices quietly. “I didn’t know you were this type of person.”
“I’m not.” You agree. “But it’s because it’s you.”
You’ve been “officially” dating for, what, almost two weeks now? People usually don’t say “I love you” this early. But this isn’t the beginning for you two. It’s more like a progression. It feels natural, like it has always been with him.
It feels like home.
Jungkook avoids your gaze again. The blush hasn’t gone away. “I don’t know what to do when you say things like that- why are you crying?!”
It’s Jungkook’s time to laugh at you as you try to wipe the tears away. He pulls you to rest your head on his chest, hugging you tightly.
“I am supposed to be the emotional one here, not you.” He says, still laughing.
“Shut up. I’m drunk.”
“Yeah, sure.” His laughter slowly dies until it’s just a quiet giggle. You feel his scent, hear the beating of his heart. Jungkook kisses the top of your head gently, caressing your back. “I’m gonna be so embarrassed when I remember I said this tomorrow,” he says softly against your hair. “But I think I’ve loved you ever since that first day of school when we bumped into each other on our way.”
You bury your face on his chest even more.
Everything around you is blurred and distant. It seems that nothing really matters besides right here, right now - as if you’ve never realized what you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This moment.
Him.
The puzzle is finally complete.
#btswriterscollective#bangtanarmynet#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook scenario#bts x reader#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts fanfic#jungkook
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Get The Party Started....🥳🎉👯♀️
No. The title is not only because of the Pink! song, but also because of that video of Camila having a good time in La Cienaga where I remember you, sorry, in the karaoke bar The Belmont.
As you know, I love to be curious around the fandom (and I find out things thanks to the anons as curious as me who send me stuff, thanks buddies!) And well, besides, I was thinking about what this anon sent me about The Belmont
Then I remembered the reasons why Camila still has a dirty image and why they keep on dirtying her and don't defend her as it should be... And I hit my head on the wall, figuratively because the answer was in front of my eyes, or well, not my eyes, but in front of the reflection of... Lauren.
Let's go back in time in an imaginary time machine. Don't worry that the trip will be shorter than you think because I wasn't here at that time so forgive me if I'm wrong, but: Do you remember when Lauren's image started to get dirty? My understanding is that it was before her open letter to Trump, i.e. Laucy.
What did we see of her? Smoking pot and partying, right? Then marijuana became an issue and out came the headline.
Lauren Jauregui is arrested for marijuana possession and is barred from entering Brazil to accompany her bandmates on the concert tour they would be giving in the country.
Before that she had come out of the closet with Lucy and followed Tyren, after Tyren Lauren's image was clean and she released her first EP.
We go back to our time after getting out of our time machine and we have Camila.
A Camila with a totally dirty image in front of the GP, with two fucking PRs to account for and two albums of her own and a movie.
And now?
Pictures of her in a sex shop, pictures of her in a bar and apparently drunk, but being happy after the breakup.
This video was meant to be leaked with a purpuse and now I understand why, the sex shop papz pictures too.
Oh, and these ones
Remember how we couldn't avoid to think about Lauren after we saw her with this style?
Need I say more for you guys to get the point of this post? Free woman who doesn't need a man to be happy and.....
I think you already know the answer, folks. It's right in front of your eyes
In 2018 I wrote a post called They Switched where I said that we would see the strategies that one of the girls had reflected in the other and it is the same as what we are seeing now. The same strategy they used with Lauren, but with Camila. They are their own reflection, publicly speaking.
What fucks with my head a bit is that the bastards make coming out a bad thing. That they relate something like that to partying, excess, alcohol and drugs and call that empowerment, free will and bullshit. There is nothing positive in a public coming out of an artist because to the bastards it means drama and scandal, not something positive or worth following because the relationship of being free is full of darkness, shadow and a dirty image.
Because I guess I have a genuine question: How many LGBT couples exist in the American music industry that has not been involved in scandal and that the coming out has not been taken as a transition to put said LGBT artist back in a box of heterosexual PRs? I hope you can help me to answer that question.
#camren#camila cabello#lauren jauregui#coming out#lgbt community#personal thoughts#get the party started
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Tadashi Hamada - Drunk Karaoke
A/N: I wrote this yearssssss ago after first falling for Tadashi Hamada and being inspired by this clip of his voice actor Daniel Henney singing on YouTube for a different role. I hope you can listen to the audio and enjoy imagining Tadashi serenading you in this story <3
“No.” Tadashi breathed, staring at his phone.
“What?” You asked, approaching him.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This can’t be happening!!!”
“What is it?” You repeated yourself.
“I only got 65% on the last assignment! I don’t understand, I worked so hard!!!” He huffed.
You searched yourself for some way to encourage him. “There’s other assignments right? I’m sure you’ll do better on them. Maybe just check with the professor on what you were getting wrong and see if you can make up for it?”
“No, not in this class, she’s very strict. Absolutely no makeups, she’s warned us. I could still check why though so at least I’ll know… ”
“Why don’t you come out with us tonight?” Fred offered, suddenly appearing in the back of the emptying nerd lab. “Yeah, you won’t be able to hear back from that teacher tonight anyways and you got nothing else to do. Have a little fun for a night. Wasabi is DDing”
You looked to Tadashi, curious his response. Your boyfriend wasn’t much of a bar goer but he did go with his friends on occasion, usually as the designated driver though.
He sighed. “Yeah, okay, might cheer me up after all this.”
You crowded around the bar, each taking turns ordering. Except Fred. He took 3 shots and ran off to dance. Wasabi got a diet coke since he's the designated driver and Honey ordered a martini. Everyone looked surprised when Tadashi got ready to order too.
He shrugged at their expressions. "It's been a long terrible day that I really just want to forget."
"Well if you're in the mood for forgetting..." Gogo paused and ordered some complicated drink then slid it to him. "It's my own little concoction. Strongest stuff I've ever had."
Tadashi eyed it hesitantly.
"I...don't know Gogo," Honey said looking at Tadashi. "You don't have to drink anything if you don't want to." She reminded him.
He shrugged. "Why not. What have I got to lose." He said and began drinking Gogo’s concoction.
"Hey! Look! It's karaoke night!" Wasabi said turning his attention to the stage opposite the bar.
Honey gasped. "Tadashi! You should sing!!"
You looked at him shocked and impressed. "You sing?!!"
He shook his head. "Only in the shower or when I don’t notice I’m doing it. I'm not nearly drunk enough for karaoke."
"Well then! That can be arranged!" You laughed and ordered him a shot.
He chuckled. "I would have never thought you the type to get someone drunk and take advantage of them." He teased.
"What can I say," you shrugged, "I love singers”
"Oh, do you?" He asked watching, interested.
You smiled at him coyly and he quickly took the shot. Not long later, he's making dumb jokes and like a hyper little kid.
He giggled as he stared at you.
"What?" You smirk.
"There's two’a you." He giggled more. "This is so awesome. I love having two’a you. But wait which one is the real you ‘cause I don'wanna acciden’ally kiss someone who's not my girlfriend." His eyes grew big as he slurred. "Whoa, yeah, that would be bad....but two of you!!!" He exclaimed excitedly again.
You laughed with Honey and Gogo at him.
"So does that mean you're drunk enough to sing for me now?" You asked.
"Sing?! OHH YEAHHHHH I WAS GONNA SIIIING FOR YOUUU, okay okay just....just wait here...." He said and got up from the bar stool, stumbling a bit. "Just stay here..." He held his hands up, "I'll I'll be right back...okay?"
"Okay, I'll be here." You smiled.
"Okay." He said and started to leave but then ran back to kiss you, catching you off guard, and then ran back to the stage.
Gogo chuckled at your surprised look. "Yeah, he gets a bit clingy when he's drunk."
"A bit clingy?!" Honey said as if what Gogo said was a terrible exaggeration.
Gogo chuckled again. "Okay, a lot clingy! Once he wouldn't let Honey go to the bathroom alone."
"He kept saying I was his best friend and not to go but I was like ‘Tadashi I really have to pee! And what about Fred he's your best friend too?’ Thankfully that got him distracted enough to tackle Fred with hugs instead of me." Honey explained.
You laughed at the story with the girls.
"Next up! Ta-" the MC paused and looked at Tadashi who was just off stage "dude, I can't read your handwriting… what does it say?"
Tadashi just grabbed the mic from him instead.
"Heeeelloooooooooo Sanfransokyooooo! It is I, Tadashi Hamada, here to serenade you.....buuuuuuuut mostly just my girlfriend ‘cause she's a dork waffle and got me drunk so I would sing to her." He slurred. "But it's okay ‘cause she's really cute. Okay! This is a song! Called...ahh....umm....a thing, I dunno......anyways I umm OH! Oh it's starting!!! Everyone it's starting, shhhhh! Wasabi it's starting, look, shhhhh!!!"
You and the group laughed at him and Honey got out her phone to video it.
Frankly, you were quite impressed with his talent.
When he had finished, the whole bar applauded like mad. "Thank you!!!" He shouted and dropped the mic. He picked up his baseball cap that had fallen while he was head banging, then jumped off stage.
You got up off your barstool to meet him. "You were amazing!!!!" You shouted over the new music playing. You reached your arms out to hug him but he pulled you into a sloppy kiss instead.
"Let's dance." He grinned and pulled you deeper into the crowd.
Moments later, you bumped into Honey again.
"IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS EVERYWHERE!!!" She yelled over the music. "YOU GOTTA COME SEE FRED!!!!" She dragged you off behind her and soon you come within view of a mechanical bull that Fred was totally rocking.
Having a few drinks in yourself, you decide you want to try it too after Fred. Tadashi didn’t realize this at first though, so got upset when he saw you getting on it.
"WhAdder youuu doing?!!" He scolded.
You shrugged. "Giving it a try."
"No no no no no!!" He said, running over and trying to carry you away from it. "I don't want you to get hurt!"
"But Fred didn't get hurt." You pointed out.
"But Fred is a idiot so even if he did I woulden’ be too worried. But you’re too pridddyyy t’ fall an’ break your face. Fred can break his face if he wants though." He slurred and pulled at your hand. "C'mon let’s do something else.” The drunken boy looked around the bar for something else to do.
“LOOK DARTS I LOVE DARTS DON’T YOU LOVE DARTS?!" he said excitedly and pulled the darts from the board then backed up.
"I'm sooooooooo good at darts, just watch me," he said, giving you a charming crooked grin and a wink.
He threw the first dart and it hit the edge of the board. The second hit about 2 inches from the target, and the third....hit your forehead.
"Aaahhhhh!!!" You grabbed at your temple before looking down to see the bright red blood on your hands.
"OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He rushed over to you. "I'm SO sorry Y/N!!!!!" He apologized, looking at the cut and hugging you. "We gotta get Baymax! Baymax!! BAYMAX!!!" he began calling and wandering a little. "OW! BAYMAX! OW! BAYMAX! ACTIVATE!!"
You held your stinging temple and ran after him, grabbing his arm with your non-bloody hand. "Hun, Baymax is at home." You pointed out.
"Oh" He paused, looking worriedly at the dripping blood. "Well let's go find him then!!!" He said, determinedly scooping you up into his arms and heading to the doors.
Once outside he wandered up and down the street almost whacking your head on a light post. "Umm..." he hiccupped, "where are we??"
You laughed. "How bout we get Wasabi to drive us instead?"
He nodded, setting you down and going back inside with you to find your friend.
***
“Aghh, my head…” Tadashi groaned the next morning.
You rolled over in bed to face him. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
He looked at the bandaid plastered to your forehead. “Did I do that?” He moved his hand up to his head, groaning again. “Everything is so hazy.”
“It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad.” You reassured.
He turned over to pick up his phone, checking the time to see how late the two of you had slept in. In doing so though he noticed an email notification.
“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe it.” He breathed.
“What?” You asked curiously.
“My professor… she’s actually going to let me make up my grade!”
“That’s amazing!!!” You cheered.
He looked at the time again. “Not if I don’t make it to meet her!”
Tadashi jumped out of bed, instantly regretting the fast movement.
You cringed as you watched him place a hand to his mouth, willing himself not to vomit.
Hurriedly he changed out of his pyjamas and into the first clothes he could find.
“Good luck!” You called after him as he rushed away.
#tadashi hamada#tadashi hamada imagine#tadashi x reader#tadashi hamada x reader#tadashi imagine#big hero 6 x reader#big hero 6 imagine#big hero 6#big hero six#bh6 x reader#bh6 imagine#my writing
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All Yours! - Kirishima Eijiro
“i’m all yours!”
author’s note: this is pure filth ok? kiri is always written as a gentleman and I wanted to make him a slimey little cheater. tbh it was kinda hot. hope you guys enjoy this.
warnings: smut, angst, infidelity, fluff, fem!reader, phone sex , characters aged up! made up wife yall can give her a name if yall want lmao “she’s” just for the story.
How can I put this? Sure, I loved my wife. She was with me when I was a nobody. Supported my dreams even when it meant I couldn’t be with her. But I can’t shake this feeling of regret. It’s almost as if I have married the wrong person. We stopped being intimate. She tenses up everytime I approach her. She doesn’t even look me in my eyes. She doesn’t love me anymore, I’m sure. I don’t think I loved her as much as I did when we first met. I was scared to tell her, scared to leave her. To be honest, I think we were both too chicken shit to sign those divorce papers.
Me and Katsuki talk about it all the time. He hypes me up over a few beers and when I get home I just lay dead next to her in bed, a huge wall separating our bodies from each other’s warmth even though we were so close. Our marriage was dying, withering away as we watched it fade. I don’t even bother telling her I’m leaving. I’m sure she has company over to fuck her while I’m gone. I caught her once.
He was amongst the higher ranks of Heros; I’ve seen him around before. He was on top of her, kissing her in the spots I used to kiss her. She seemed to be enjoying herself until I walked in. I was pissed. I pulled that guy off her and my mind went blank. I collect myself as she held me back from him. All I remember is her screaming.
“It’s over! Don’t you get it!?” The pain in my knuckles snapped me out of it as I listened to her defend a man she hardly knew over me. He was knocked out on the ground, the pig naked and sweaty sporting a new blackeye courtesy of yours truly. I’ll never forget those words. We’ve been cheating on each other since that night.
Tonight I was going to a bar with Katsuki and Kaminari, who wanted to get a few beers and maybe catch up a little. The both of them were pretty happy in their relationships. I never thought Bakugo would settle down. I’m watching my friends get into new and healthy relationships, while mine finds its impending doom.
“Cheer up, Eijiro. I’m sure you’ll work up the courage to leave. It’s not working anymore, bro. I can see it in your eyes.” Denki says, taking a sip from his beer. I sigh and nod, only able to impishly agree. I was pretty upset. I spent a lot of good time with her. We made good memories. But it just didn’t work out. What went wrong? What happened?
Bakugo grumbled about how I need to get over it, “Every woman in this joint would throw their fucking panties at you to have one night fucking a pro hero, don’t you get it? To be honest you should have left her that night you caught her cheating on you with that fucking side kick. Stop bein a coward and get it done.” I looked at him in shock but nonetheless he was right about me being a coward. I’d rather stay with her than try with someone new. Or so I had thought.
Time seemed to freeze when this woman walked into the bar with a few girls I was in the same class with in UA. She was quite possibly the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. She seemed so confident and walked with her head held high. She knew she was hot, and wanted to make sure everyone in the bar knew. She wore this skimpy little dress in red, red lipstick on her full lips to match. Why does she seem so familiar?
She walked by our table, her perfume seeming to lure me towards her to follow her wherever she went. I was drunk and looking for something or anyone to distract me from what was going on at home. It felt wrong but something in me couldn’t resist. I couldn’t help but stare at her long legs in that dress that seemed to hug and squeeze at every curve in her body. I just wanted to grab her and nail her on the nearest surface in this fucking bar.
“Yo, you’re drooling, dude.” Denki says, waving his hand in front of my eyes. I grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand away from my view. Something about this woman made me want to know more about her. I guess I could start with her name. I stood up from my seat and approached her, telling the guys I’d be right back. My hands got clammy as I got closer. I’m not gonna lie I was nervous as fuck. She was having a conversation with someone at the bar, her head slightly tilted to the side to better hear the person over all the music and outside chatter. I sit on the other side of her and tap her shoulder.
“Hey. Can I buy you a drink?” I ask. She turned to me and smiled brightly, her teeth almost twinkling.
“Sure! I’m Y/N. What’s your name?” She shouted over the music. I was a little shocked she didn’t know who I was. It’s hard to even go grocery shopping without being recognized. It was almost refreshing.
“Eijiro Kirishima.” I say, holding out my sweaty hand to give her a hand shake. She took my hand and shook it, giggling as she noticed the wetness of my palms.
“Nice to meet ya, sweaty hands.” She said teasingly. God she was pretty. It was like no one was here except the two of us. She ordered the drink she wanted and I paid the bartender after we got our orders. We talked for what seemed like hours. It was almost easy with her. She was open and honest. She had nothing to hide and she was real. It’s hard to find that in people nowadays.
“You’re pretty handsome, sweaty hands. You must have some girlfriend waiting for you to come home tonight, don’t you?” She questioned. I froze, thinking of my wife as I take a big sip of my drink.
“I’m uh.. actually married. But she and I are separating.” I said, looking down at my drink.
“Are you just telling me that so I’ll sleep with you? Or are you serious?” She asked, squinting her eyes at me to see if she can detect any lies.
“I wish I wasn’t serious. I did love her at one point but..” I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling pathetic. I was about to cry in front of a girl I’m trying to fuck. How manly.
“Hey. You don’t have to explain much more, ok? I understand and I believe you.” She said, her small hand resting on my shoulder in reassurance. I look her in the eyes and smile. Why was she being so nice?
“Hey, here’s my number. Call me anytime, sweaty hands.” She giggles, kissing me on the cheek. She finished her drink and pulled a pen from her purse. She wrote her number on a napkin and kissed it, leaving a red lipstick kiss on it. Y/N handed it to me and left, swaying her hips as she walked out the door.
Fuck.
“She was HOT! Way to go, Kirishima!” Denki said, surprising me. He pats my back and orders another round of beers for me and Bakugo, who was cheering me on back at the table. We sit for a while and go home a few hours after. I call an uber being that I’m too drunk to drive. When it gets to me, I get in and take the number out of my pocket to lock it in my phone. Should I even be considering this?
Fuck it.
I text her. I couldn’t wait to talk to her.
“Hey sweaty hands. Took you long enough to text me.” She texted. I could almost hear her voice through the text as I text her back with shaky hands.
“What are you doing?” I text, sitting back in the seat. She doesn’t respond for a while until I’m about to get out of the car.
“3 Attachments.” The message read. I nearly fall over at the thought of what those attachments are. I unlock my front door and sneak back inside. My wife was already asleep, thank god. I couldn’t take her nagging when I was out late. I go to our room and sit on the bed, opening her message. God. She was naked with a blanket covering her more intimate bits. She was laying in bed, her nipples poking through the thin blanket as she pulled her features into a lewd look. She looked so good.
“Thinking of you.” She said. My pants grow tight as I think of what she looks like under that blanket, my mind trailing to all the dirty things I’d do to her. How pretty she’d be with my dick in her little mouth. What was she doing to me? I send her a text back,
“You’re such a tease.” I feel my wife stir in bed as I slowly try to climb in without waking her. I sigh as she turns back over and goes back to sleep, turning my attention back to my phone.
“I want you, Eijiro. I wanna help you forget all about her.” She texted sending me another sultry image. “She won’t please you like I can.” I gulp and get up from my bed and rush to the bathroom.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah.. I wanna show you.” She texted, tempting me to risk it all. I facetime her without thinking. Fuck I hope my wife’s still sleeping. Y/N answers, already naked and spread out on camera for me. Dirty girl. God she looked heavenly. She wore nothing but these pink thigh high socks
“I’m so wet for you, Kiri. I want you so bad.” She whined, playing with her wet folds teasingly as if she was waiting for me to tell her what to do. I practically drooled at the sight of her so lewd like this for me, her face full of desire for a man already taken. This wrong feeling just felt so right.
“Don’t be shy, love. Show me how you please yourself.” I said, my cock twitching in anger at the lack of attention. I licked my lips as I watched her finger her pretty pussy for me, her sweet moans filling my ears as I completely forget about everything around me. I could watch her fuck herself all day.
“Kiri- I-I wish you were here. You’d do a much better job than me- ah!” she whined, adding another finger inside her needy little hole. I pull out my cock and start to stroke it feverishly, wishing her pussy was wrapped around me instead.
“Yeah?” I huffed, Y/N moaning in response. I pant as I stroke myself, enamored by this woman spread out before me. I can’t wait to really taste her.
“I’m all yours, Eijiro! Whenever you want me. Ughhh god, I can’t wait to have y-you.” She mewls, her pace quickening.
I smirk and follow her movements, mimicking her rhythm to at least simulate the feeling of her pretty pussy wrapped around me. Her moans rang in my ears, the sound of her wetness squelching around her fingers as she fucked herself open for me. I pant, feeling close to cumming all over myself as I watched her legs start to shake, a sign that she herself was close too.
“Fuuuuck, Ah! I-I’m g-gonna cum for you, Kiri. Please let me cum.. please?” She begged, the sound nearly broke me. The fact she was begging me to let her cum as if I owned her really turned me on. I huff, holding myself back further as I sweat profusely.
“G’head, baby. Cum for me. Let me hear you.” I pant desperately, wanting to let go myself. And she did, her pathetic little screams echoing in my ears like a symphony. I cum just about the same time she does, my seed spilling all over my hand and lower stomach. I hear her cooing praises at me as I moan and gasp for air in front of her.
“Mmm, I wanna lick that up for you, daddy. You’re so big.” She said, licking her lips at the sight of me. I sigh in relief, telling her how gorgeous she is as I clean myself up. She stood up and grabbed her phone, winking as she told me,
“I guess this is to be continued, huh?”
#bnha smut#bnha fanfiction#bnha x reader#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha imagines#bnha midoriya x reader#bnha todoroki x reader#bnha#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#bnha kirishima#kirishima smut
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Helloooo! How are you? I really like your fics! <3 Can i request some headcanons for young!Sirius? Or maybe kid!Sirius? How do you think he was like? What if he and Y/n were best friends? Would he go to her for comfort when his parents are nasty with him? Sorry for my horrible English🤡 still struggling with it.. (maybe that's why i read so many fics😂) Best wishes!
“I'm starting to think that we deserve each other”
Summary: Headcanons of Sirius and eventually confessing feelings
Pairing: Sirius x Muggleborn!reader (it’s literally mentioned like one time)
Warnings: swearing, angst, parent/family issues (?)
A/N: Ahh hi anon! Thanks so much for sending this in, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it :)))) Ahhh but this was also a little different style of writing than I usually do so let me know how you guys feel about it! I’m also just like, obviously in love with Sirius Black so um, they get into a little bit at the end and confess some things :=) Ooo, as always, send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my taglist! I also should let you know that I wrote this very late at night so the logistics and grammar might be shit
Word Count: 2054
Masterlist + Characters and ships I write for
Requests are always open <3
I have more time since it’s now summer so please send them in!! :)
Reminder that I do not support jkr. Do not interact if you do.
It was well known throughout your first years at Hogwarts that you and Sirius did not get along. He honestly annoyed the shit out of you everyday. He came from a rich pureblood family and you were a muggleborn, so anyone could see how the two of you clashed there.
All of the professors were completely done with you and Sirius’s antics. It started off with Sirius somehow managing to turn your hair green during the first flying lesson that the Gryffindors had. “Hey y/n, your hair is amazing! Didn’t think you could pull off the green!” a peer had spoken to you just before mounting your broom.
Sirius broke out into a nearly uncontrollable laughter and got a detention for it. But of course, none of that stopped you from getting back at him. Even just the simplest of pranks had gotten the job done.
There was one prank at the start of second year that earned you and Sirius a month’s worth of detention with Slughorn. He basically had the two of you as his personal assistants. It was honestly torture. But there were moments when he would step away from his classroom to talk to another professor, or slip away into his office to plan the next day’s lesson, and it would leave you and Sirius alone.
The two of you gave in and finally had a conversation with each other. It wasn’t much and it was very awkward, but seeing as this was your first day out of a month’s long sentence of detention, someone to talk with didn’t sound too bad.
And that was what blossomed a very chaotic friendship between the two of you. Having to suffer together was what drew the connection. You two eventually planned your own little pranks against other people.
Despite everything in your younger years of being at Hogwarts, Sirius was your closest friend. You could maybe go as far as to call him your best friend, but you’d never say that to his face, it’d add to his already huge ego.
You ate nearly every meal with him. You’d practically drag him into the library to study. He mentioned something about doing well in school for his parents, so that’s what you’d help him with.
Though the two of you quickly learned that it’s very hard to focus in each other’s presence.
You taught him how to braid hair. He practiced using yours. “Would you stay still, y/n?”
“I’m trying! You’re the one yanking me back and forth, Sirius.”
From that point after, you’d sit in between his legs on the floor as he sat on the couch.
He got you sucked into quidditch and nearly got you to try out for the team. “I think it’d be fun having you on the team!”
“I think that’s your way of saying you want to spend more time with me.”
“Of course,” SIrius shook his head no.
One day he saw someone in the hall walk by with eyeliner and he demanded that the two of you try putting it on yourselves.
This ultimately got you in trouble for staying up way too late, laughing at how silly you both looked in the prefect bathrooms. Lily would allow you in saying “This is going to get my badge taken from me, I swear.”
You two eventually got back to studying after Sirius received some notes from his parents.
You caught on quickly that he didn’t have the best relationship regarding his family.
It was actually a little difficult being friends with Sirius at first. It was very hard for him to just be vulnerable and talk, but by fourth year, you understood where he came from and didn’t push for anything. You listened to him the very few times when he would make small little notes of his family, or talked about his brother while passing him in the hall.
Your conversations were more so filled with random things that only really made sense to the two of you. Any outsider would’ve thought you two were completely crazy.
By fifth year, you were looking at Sirius in a whole different light and you hated it. You wanted to be way more than friends and didn’t know what to do with yourself. You started to avoid him. This was the worst and best decision ever. It’s still debatable.
While the rest of your friends were taking a little day to Hogsmeade, and while you were still on a streak of pretty much avoiding Sirius, you slipped off from the courtyard, taking a less used corridor towards the library.
Here, you found Sirius with his shoulders shaking, head in his hands, and your heart shattered. If you were feeling this, you couldn’t even begin to imagine what he must feel like. He didn’t pay any mind to his surroundings until you slid down the wall next to him, placing your hand on his shoulder.
He didn’t even have to look to know that it was you. He leaned into your shoulder while you brought your arm around him, quiet sobs escaping from his body.
He always kept parts of him, especially these emotions so closed off, that it honestly was a little surprising to see him like this. “Sere, tell me what’s wrong,” you whispered.
“I- um, it’s nothing. I just got a letter from home and it’s-” he broke down again.
At this point you let your legs stretch in front of you. He was still under your arms until he just let himself go. He let himself feel. And relax. And he understood that it’s okay to cry. And be vulnerable. And that you were safe to talk to about anything. He hugged you full on. He clung on tight as he cried. And man, you were fucked. This wasn’t helping any sort of feelings you were trying to suppress by being here in his presence. It honestly nearly broke you. You wanted to cry for him. Scream for him. Go off on his parents for him. You wanted to protect him from all that could ever hurt him this way.
He talked about everything that has happened up until the letter and stammered off his explanation with one final point. “A-and I’ve missed spending time with you. It’s like you’ve been avoiding me,” he mumbled into the thick air. He was laying down against you with your fingers in his hair. “It’s like I- I’m missing a part of me. Like we’re so close I couldn’t possibly imagine my life without you.”
You stumbled over your words, trying to find out what to say. ‘If only he knew’ you wanted to groan out into the air. “I’m sorry,” was all you could say, tears stinging your eyes while you blinked them back, hugging him tightly.
From that moment, the two of you had bought bracelets at Hogsmeade and spelled them to change a certain color for when the other wanted to talk, or simply just needed to be with the other. They were simple fabric ones, something you both liked and wore everyday.
Most of the time Sirius came to talk to you about his parents. Which was new considering he was a little closed off before.
You were there if he needed to cry. You would hold him if he needed a hug. You would laugh with him when he didn’t want to be the only one. You were there for him for everything.
There was one night that was really bad. His parents basically sent a letter saying not to come home in the future. You were supposed to meet him in the library yet he wasn’t there.
After asking around, you found him in the Gryffindor common room when it was far too late for you to even be out. His face was tear stained and his eyes were an irritated pink. Though he didn’t seek you in the first place, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, burying himself in your comfort.
By sixth year it was supposedly “Painfully obvious you two were basically in love with each other” Remus would say every time you gave up a library visit to be with Sirius. Or James would very blatantly leave you both to carry out specific parts of a prank together. Lily would just leave you and Sirius alone together whenever she got the chance, really.
One particular Gryffindor win for Sirius was crashed by some Slytherins who came without any good intentions. It was soon discovered that there was veritaserum in the drinks that, of course, you and your friends had already enjoyed.
All of this prompted you to leave the party. You left with a big group of people, Remus, James, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene, all off to the grounds, trying to avoid any trouble. You stayed back with Remus and Sirius while the rest walked ahead, talking about the most random of things, like how Remus wants to ride a unicorn. He eventually sped up with the rest of the group, claiming he was going to ride a unicorn, properly drunk. “Mhm, yeah. You go have fun with that Remus,” Sirius called to him as he stumbled ahead.
You and Sirius couldn’t go as far as to say you were drunk, but definitely tispy. You walked over to a small tree and sat yourself under it, laying back against it. Sirius did the same thing except he leaned his head on your shoulder and you leaned yours on top of his. It was a sweet moment as he mindlessly played with a thread hanging from your robes.
The veritaserum didn’t bother the two of you much, you were honest with each other most of the time anyways. Well, it didn’t bother you much until Regulus and a few of his friends stood over you, making fun of how close you and Sirius were. You kept your mouths shut for as long as you could. “What it’s not like you like each other. Do you, Sirius?” Regulus pushed.
“I actually like y/n a lot. She’s always there for me and—” Sirius slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes wide.
“Hmm, and I don't suppose you feel the same way, y/n?”“
“I have feelings for Sirius,” you blurted out right as Regulus and his friends walked away.
Sirius looked over to you, smiling like an idiot. You leaned your head back against the tree, covering your face with your hands just before he pulled them away. He squeezed them in a comforting manner and asked why you hadn’t said anything before. “Because you’re such a great person, like you deserve the world and I don’t think I’d be enough a-and I hate that people keep asking questions because I’m on this stupid veritaserum that’s making me look like an idiot
He cut you off with a kiss, effectively shutting you up. The kiss was rushed at first before turning into something exploding with passion that you didn’t even know you needed until now.
“Well, you’re a beautiful idiot. Because, as said before,” he mumbled the last part, returning to his normal tone of voice. “I like you too. A-and I guess that you could tell me that I’m an idiot because—”
“Why didn’t you tell me you liked me, Sirius?”
“My entire life is a mess and I have too many problems and you’re always there for me to begin with, I’d take up too much of your time if we actually ended up dating. And you’re perfect and I look like absolute shit all the time. Just as you said you deserve the world but as I’m saying all this, I’m starting to think,” he trailed off searching your eyes for words. “I'm starting to think that we deserve each other,” he finished in a soft voice.
“I think we deserve each other too,” you grabbed his face gently, kissing him.
That night is now the day you and Sirius started dating, one of the most memorable days of your lives.
You never left breakfast in the Great Hall without stealing a kiss.
Or a piece of bacon from his plate.
There’d be some nights where you could sneak away and fall asleep with him peacefully and everything seemed alright.
#sirius black#sirius black fic#sirius black x reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black fluff#sirius fluff#sirius blurb#sirius black blurb#sirius black fanfiction#sirius fanfiction#sirius fic#sirius x you#sirius x y/n#young sirius black#young sirius black imagine#young sirius x reader#young sirius imagine#young sirius black x reader#marauders#marauders era#marauders fandom#marauders fanfiction#harry potter#harry potter fandom#harry potter fanfiction#hogwarts#i’m starting to think that we deserve each other
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how about this tho -- bucky and sam are in heavy denial about how stupid gone they are for each other. and it's mostly bucky's fault :) cue like a bucky barnes from another time or better yet another timeline landing in theirs, and they gotta get him back home. but the other bucky barnes makes all the right moves on sam. makes him laugh, makes him smile, compliments him head to toe -- just easily expresses everything that the real bucky wants to say. bucky barnes being jealous of himself poor bb
(Wrote something based on this. Hope you like it, anon! Sorry it's a bit different from you prompt)
***
Bucky couldn’t sleep. The thoughts of Sam invaded his mind, like they often did these days, keeping him awake in the middle of the night. He thought about that beautiful face, that gorgeous smile… that hot body and that sexy ass that was just begging to be grabbed. Fuck.
But Bucky couldn’t make a move on the other guy because he was the only friend he had, and he didn’t want to lose him. So he was forever doomed to suffer through his schoolboy crush.
Bucky sighed and closed his eyes to finally get some sleep when a sound caught his attention. He was out of his bed before the knock on his door. He knew none of his enemies would knock before they burst into his apartment, but he still got the gun from the side table and took it with him. Pressing the muzzle to the door, he left the chain on as he peeked out of the door. But his eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he saw the person on the other side and the gun almost slipped from his hand.
“What the fuck…” he said incredulously. Standing before Bucky was his mirror image. Well, not exactly his mirror image, but close. He looked a little older than Bucky, was rough around the edges, his beard was slightly thicker, his brown hair was longer, and his eyes were brown instead of blue.
“I know how this looks,” the man said in a gruff voice. It sounded how Bucky would sound if he smoked. “Okay, maybe I don’t know how this looks. But could you please remove the gun from the door and let me in?”
“How did you--” Bucky asked but was interrupted.
“I am you.” The man replied.
Bucky had to be dreaming. This was some lucid dream. He had a powerful urge to pinch himself, but instead, he lowered his gun and stepped aside, letting the other man into the apartment.
“Thanks,” the man said offhandedly.
“Care to explain what’s going on here?” Bucky asked, closing the door behind them.
“I will once I figure it out myself…” the other man replied.
“Well, you’re— you— you look like me.” Bucky said, staring at the other man. “How is that possible?”
“I don’t just look like you, dumbass. Like I said, I am you.” Okay, this man had no manners whatsoever.
“How can there be two of us? Wait, a second…” something hit Bucky. “Hydra… are they back? Did they send you?” He took the gun and pointed it right between the other man’s eyes.
“Hey, whoa, man, chill. I don’t work for Hydra.”
“Then who are you and where did you come from?” Bucky unlocked the safety of the gun and got closer to the other man.
“I keep telling you, asshole, I am you. What part of that is hard to grasp?” The other man asked. He suddenly looked more frustrated than scared. “As for where I am from… that’s hard to explain but let’s just say that I am not from this universe-- your universe.”
“What?” Bucky let the gun down once again. “What’s that even supposed to mean?”
“Do you want me to write it in dumbass and hand it to you?”
Bucky again had the urge to shoot this man. “Can’t you talk without swearing?”
“Why? Does it make you uncomfortable, princess?”
“You are such an asshole. How can you possibly be me?” Bucky asked. “I need to think…” He started pacing the floor, wondering what the fuck was he going to do. He stopped in his tracks when he remembered something. “Wait… how did you know where to find me?”
“I live in the same apartment in my universe. Except mine isn’t so…” he looked around and made a face. “--so clean and I have a cat.”
“A cat?” Bucky asked, surprised.
“Yes, fluffy little creatures, perky ears, long tails… You got those in your universe?”
Bucky threw his hands up. “Of course we have cats in our universe. I am just surprised that I would want anything to do with one.”
“What? You a catphobe?”
“That’s not even a thing..” Bucky scoffed. “And by the way, we’re derailing from the point. How did you get here?”
“Hell if I know,” the other man shrugged. “One second I am passed out drunk in my apartment and then the next thing I know I wake up in a strange-looking Brooklyn.”
“You can get drunk?” Bucky asked, surprised. The other Bucky had the bionic arm, even if it was old-fashioned. Then he had to have Bucky’s powers, too.
“It was with Thor. He brought out his special Asgardian liquor, and we got hammered,” the other man explained. “Pun fully intended.”
Bucky rolled his eyes at him and started pacing again. “I can’t do this alone. I need help.” He said, more to himself than the other man.
“Who are you calling?” The other man asked when Bucky picked up his phone to call.
“Sam.”
***
Sam looked exhausted when he arrived at Bucky’s doorstep, and Bucky hated to admit it, but his half asleep state and his grumpy face made him look kinda cute. Okay. Right. Focus Buck.
“What’s so urgent that you asked me to take the first flight here?”
“Okay, so don’t freak out…” Bucky said, putting his hands out in front of him.
“You telling me to not freak out is freaking me out, Buck.” Sam sidestepped Bucky and into the apartment. “So what is it?”
“You have to see it to believe it,” Bucky told him as he led him to the bedroom. He slowly opened the door, and the first thing to hit his ears was the sound of snoring.
“What the hell?!” Sam screeched, causing the other Bucky to practically fall off the bed in his haste to get up. “That’s--” Sam looked between the other Bucky and Bucky, before rushing out to the living room.
Bucky went after him and tried to touch his shoulder, but Sam shrugged him away. “What is going on? Who is that?”
“He’s apparently me,” Bucky explained. “From another universe.”
Sam blinked at Bucky before bursting out laughing. “He’s you. From another universe? Good one, Buck!”
When Bucky didn’t laugh along, Sam’s laughter died down. “You’re not joking.”
“No, he’s not.” Bucky turned around to find the other Bucky standing behind them in nothing but his boxers. “Hey, Sam,” the man tilted his head to the side and offered Sam a smirk.
Sam looked at him from top to bottom, making Bucky frown.
“Hi… Bucky?” Sam greeted him unsurely. “This is really freaky…”
“You’re telling me,” Bucky mumbled.
“H- how did you get to this universe?” Sam asked the other Bucky.
The other Bucky walked over to Sam and stopped a little too close to him. “I have no idea, sweetheart.”
“Sweetheart?” Bucky and Sam asked at the same time and looked at each other.
“What? You don’t like it?” The other Bucky lowered his voice even more.
Sam cleared his throat and shook his head at that. “No, that- that’s fine.”
“Well, doll, I gotta say, you are hot.”
Bucky’s breath suddenly became shallow, and his hands tightened into fists beside him. How dare this man call Sam hot? Yes, Sam was hot. Really hot. But this man had no right to call him that.
“Oh, wow.” Sam chuckled nervously and bit down on his lips. “Thanks, man. You aren’t bad looking yourself. Love the rough around the edges look ya got going on.”
“Why, thanks, baby,” the other Bucky winked at him.
Bucky had enough of the other Bucky’s flirting, and he put himself between him and Sam. “Can we get back to the important part? How do we get you back home?”
The other Bucky dropped on the couch and put his arms behind his head. “No clue. I don’t even know how I got here in the first place.”
“We need help, Buck. This is way above our paygrade.”
Bucky agreed with Sam. This wasn’t a problem they could solve on their own. “Should we ask Dr. Strange for help?”
“It’s worth the try-”
“So you got the wizard over here too?” The other Bucky chimed in.
A broad smile spread across Sam’s lips. “THANK YOU!” Sam said a little too loudly. “Glad someone else agrees that he’s a wizard.” He raised his hand to high five with the other, Bucky, who enthusiastically returned the five. “By the way, we need a name for you. Can’t call you Bucky. It will be too confusing.”
“You can call me darling if you like, doll,” the other Bucky started flirting again. “I wouldn’t mind.”
Sam nervously chuckled at that again, “While I love that suggestion, I think I will go with James.”
“Shame,” the other Bucky-- James pouted. He actually pouted.
Sam sat down beside James and James immediately moved closer to him much to Bucky’s chagrin. “What’s the last thing you remember?” Sam asked.
“I remember going to bed drunk last night and then waking up here this morning.”
“How did you know you were in a different universe?” Bucky asked, crossing his arms across his chest.
“Everything felt wrong…”
Bucky and Sam looked at each other before Sam asked, “That can’t be the only thing, James.”
James sighed. “I’ve been sent to a different universe before.”
“You have?” Asked Bucky.
“Yeah… It just feels different when you’re in a different universe. It’s really hard to explain. You know how when you go to a different country and the wind suddenly doesn’t feel right? It’s like that except dialed up to 100.”
“So universe hopping isn’t anything new to you?” Bucky asked with an edge in his voice. “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”
“Didn’t wanna freak ya out, dumbass,” James replied.
“Do you have to call me that?”
Sam looked up at him and chuckled, making Bucky frown even more.
“So, sweetheart, you got a lady or fella in your life?” James threw his bionic arm around Sam’s shoulder and pulled him closer.
Bucky wanted nothing more than to remove his arm and strangle him.
Sam threw a quick glance at Bucky before replying, “I’m single.”
“Nahhh… that can’t be true. A handsome fella like you doesn’t have anyone in his life. It’s impossible.”
“Are you always this flirty?” Sam asked him instead.
“Only around someone as sexy as you.” James leered at Sam like he wanted to eat him up.
Sam chuckled and looked down at the floor.
Bucky couldn’t take it anymore. He was practically in love with Sam and couldn’t do anything about it. Yet, here was another version of him, touching him and openly flirting with him.
“Sam! Let’s go. We should go talk to Dr. Strange.” Bucky grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him up.
Sam threw him an annoyed look and pulled his arm out of Bucky’s grip. “Fine! Let’s go.”
“What do I do?” James asked.
Bucky threw him an annoyed look. “You stay here and watch tv or something. We’ll be back soon.”
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Not the future you want.
summary: You don’t want kids and that’s a deal breaker for Harry, until it isn’t.
word count: 3.3k
warnings: angst, happy ending tho.
a/n: long time no see!! I missed writing for y’all SO much but lately i’ve been so busy, here’s a little something i wrote after finishing all my homework, please tell me what you think!
You can find the rest of my masterlist here.
///
Y/n didn't know how they got here.
Not even ten minutes ago they were wrapped around the covers of Harry's bed after making love, both still naked and sweaty from the previous activities. Harry was showering her with kisses all over her face, paying special attention to her nose and lips. The silence that covered them was comfortable, warm.
Right now all she felt was cold, iced silence filling the room as Harry stared at her with startled eyes. Suddenly, the once safe space they had to feel comfortable being naked in front of the other, was long gone and replaced with an awkwardness in the air. Y/n pulled the covers up to her chest, sitting down on the bed as she watched Harry do the same.
"What did you say?" He said. Although he heard it the first time she said it, he wished with all his being there was some kind of misunderstanding and he got it all wrong.
"Are you upset?" She asked cautiously. "Because you sound upset."
"No, I'm... Fuck, Y/n, I'm not upset." He passed a hand through his face. "Excuse me for being a little offended you don't want kids with me."
"I don't want kids with anyone, Harry." She said, growing upset. "Don't take it personally." Y/n started to look for her clothes that currently were laying on the floor, knowing what was going to come.
"But... baby, why? wouldn't it be nice to have mini us running around?" He sounded out of breath like someone just kicked him right in the stomach. He figured he could at least try to convince her otherwise. "Imagine how cute our babies will look. They'd have your adorable nose, maybe my eyes..."
"H, I'm sorry... kids have never been in my plans, it isn't something that I want." She said slowly, not knowing how Harry will take it.
"Wouldn't you willing to at least try?"
Sighing, she shook her head. "I don't want to do that to my body. I've worked so hard to look the way I do and, honestly? Pregnancy takes a toll on you both mentally, and physically and I don't want that." Y/n got out of the bed dragging the covers with her as she grabbed her clothes and started to get dressed.
At that moment Harry didn't know that, what came out of his mouth next, would either save his relationship or end it for good. "That's so... shallow." He practically spat.
"Yeah? Try carrying a human being inside of you for nine months!"
"If I could I'd do it since you're being this selfish!"
"Am I being selfish?! Listen to yourself! I don't owe you any explanation regardless of what I want and don't want to do with my body!" She finished putting her clothes on, silently thanking herself for wearing a dress and make it easier to get dressed in between all this mess. "I am not a baby machine, Harry. I don't exist just to get pregnant and be a fucking mother. If you want a baby so badly, then find someone who does as well!"
"But I love you!" He said, not realizing he was being childish.
"Then we can get a pet! It's the same responsibility."
"I can't believe you just compared a human being to a pet, Y/N! Don't be so stupid!" He threw his hands in the air.
"I honestly don't know what you want me to tell you." Y/n crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm sorry that you feel that way but I'm not changing my mind. I understand if..."
"I need time to... think."
"H..." She tried taking a step closer to him, but he backed off.
"Leave, please."
She didn't know if that was going to be the end of their relationship, and she hoped it wasn't. However, guessing by the look on Harry's face, this was it.
//
Harry's been miserable. He thought he'd only feel like these the first months after breaking up with Y/n but as the fifth month rolled in, he realized there was no way he'd ever get her out of his head... and out of his heart.
Even though he stopped crying in the shower in month three, he was still unable to go to the same places he used to go with her, his heart hurting too much for all the memories that hit him right in the face as he walks into the coffee shop they used to go to every Friday, or the place on the park they used to sit on after buying ice cream from the lovely old man who always gave Y/n a flower. He was slowly losing his mind and everyone around him could tell exactly what was happening. He missed Y/n.
The problem was, he took way too long to realize he made a mistake, probably the most tremendous one of his entire life. He couldn't stop thinking that, if he answered those calls he declined from her, the love of his life would most likely be wrapped around a blanket in his living room, watching the notebook for the millionth time as they cuddled closer and closer to each other. She always let Harry chose the movie, despite she always knew what his choice would be and although she used to get bored at the movie, after a few times watching it with Harry, she grew to like it.
That was who she is. She's always pleasing everyone else, often growing upset when she can get the people around her what they wanted. And that included Harry. She used to put him and whatever he wanted first, always. If Harry wanted to go out, they'd go out. If he wanted to stay in, they'd stay in. And deep down, Harry knew that the reason why he lashed out at her he way he did seven months ago, it was because he knew Y/n wouldn't be able to fulfill the one dream he wanted the most. Or at least, the dream he thought he wanted the most because when his anger went down and he was able to see clearly, he realized there wasn't anything in this world he wanted more than to be with her, and that if he ever went and married another woman just to be a father, that baby wouldn't be half the love of his life, therefore nothing would be perfect and his life wouldn't be as happy as he was when he was with Y/n.
"You have to get out of bed, H." Gemma said as she opened the curtains of the bedroom, making him let out a groan. "Although you're an asshole, it hurts me to see you like this."
"Thanks for the pep talk, Gem." His words came out muffled as his face was still pressed to the pillow. The one from the side Y/N used to sleep on.
"That wasn't a pep talk, knobhead." She sat at the edge of the bed. "I'm just tired of seeing you like this, Har. You fucked up, stop mopping around and own your mistake."
"She hates me."
"She has every reason to," Harry gave her a dirty look. "but, I don't think she does. You know her, she loved you more than anything."
"Yeah, she really did." Harry's eyes filled with a new wave of tears and he choked a sob. "I was so wrong, Gem. I can't believe I yelled at her the way I did." He cried. "I had the love of my life and I made her leave." Now he sobbed.
His sister sighed. Although it was very clear who's fault was, she couldn't help but feel bad for his baby brother. Everyone could see how happy they made each other, always saying they were it for the other. And they were true. That was, of course, until Harry fucked up.
"I'm telling you this because I love you," She started. "You have to move on. It's been five months, H. You made it very clear you both wanted different things, and that's okay. But you have to accept that."
"I don't mean it anymore!"
"It doesn't matter. You meant it back then, and you're not gonna change anything staying in bed and crying all day."
"You're right." He suddenly sat up, pulling the cover off of him. "I should go see her."
"No, that's not-"
"You're a genius, Gem." Harry cupped her face and gave her an obnoxious kiss on the cheek.
"Ew!"
"I will get her back!" He jumped out of the bed and trotted to his walk-in closet, stripping out of his pajamas and into whatever pants and shirt he found. "I'll apologize and she will understand, right?"
"Baby brother, I think you're being a little too optimistic." Gemma stood up and walked towards him. "Don't be stupid, an 'I'm sorry' will not fix anything. Also, you don't even know where to find her, or how is she... or who she's with." Harry narrowed his eyes at her. "What? You have to consider all the options."
"I check her Instagram every day, she's not dating anyone."
"She can hide posts and stories from you, dumbass." She crossed her arms. "And every day? Creep."
Harry sticks his tongue out at her. "I also check her friend's profiles, believe me, she's single. And I'm gonna win her back."
"Harry," Gemma started, but he was already out of the run and running down the stairs. "Wait! Where are you going?"
"To her house!" He yelled back from the bottom of the stairs, grabbing his keys.
"Hang on, I'll take you!"
"What, really?" He stopped his tracks, turning around to face his sister.
"If you suffer from humiliation, I have to videotape it." She smirked, grabbing her purse and opening the front door.
"You're horrible."
"Chop, chop! Let's go, Romeo."
//
"I..." Hiccup. "I hate..." Hiccup. "... Men." Hiccup. "But I love you, Nolan."
"Alright, It's three in the afternoon, Y/n/n. Cut the tequila."
"What?!" She gasped. "It's never too early for tequila." She raised her finger at her best friend.
"C'mon, darling. Let's get you into the shower. Hannah should be here soon too."
"I love you guys." She said as Nolan practically carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom. "And I love Harry."
He sighed, finally entering the room, sitting Y/n on her bed where he immediately collapsed. "I know you do, sweetheart. Now, I want you in the bathroom."
She groaned, extending her hands at him. Nolan rolled his eyes but grabbed her hands to pull from her. He didn't know how she managed to get this drunk at three o'clock, but then again after five months of pretending to be okay, a breakdown was meant to happen sooner or later.
"You're the bestest friend ever."
"Mhm, repeat that when you're sober." Closing the door behind him, he helped her take her clothes off.
"Is Marcus mad at me because you left him to come here?" She asked, pouting. Marcus was Nolan's boyfriend.
"Of course not, don't be silly. He wants to take you out tonight though."
"Yes! Thousand times yes. Count. Me. In."
"What you want is your head on the toilet all night, don't you?" Y/N stepped into the shower but let out a squeal when she felt the cold water hit her skin.
"Let me out, let me out."
"Nope, we need to sober you up so you stay there." He leaned on the wall, waiting for her with a towel in his hands.
After a quick shower, Nolan wrapped her in the fluffy towel and left the room to go downstairs, he figured Y/n could handle herself for a bit while he waited for Hannah to arrive with food. He hasn't seen her this drunk since the day she and Harry broke up, so she still had a lot to let out.
There was a knock on the door and Nolan hurried to open it, thinking Hannah was finally here. To his surprise, instead of their blonde friend being there with loads of food for them to eat, Harry Styles was waiting on the other side of the door, holding the biggest bouquet of pink roses he's ever seen before.
"No, handsome. Go back to where you came from."
"C'mon, Nolan. Is she home?"
"Nope." Nolan crossed his arms, trying to look more intimidating. "She's out there, living her best life."
"Then why are you here?"
The blonde man opened his mouth then closed it again. "None of your business. Look, Harry, let it go. Do you seriously think showing up here five months after with a huge bouquet of flowers will magically fix everything?"
"I need to talk to Y/n, please. I-I messed up, okay? I was horrible to her and I know it, but I want to make it right."
He sighed. "Right now is not a good time, trust me." Harry frowned. "Do you want my advice? Move on."
With that, he closed the door on his face and returned to the living room. He was not going to allow his best friend to get her heart broken all over again over a pair of pretty eyes.
//
"When you said we'd be going out, I thought you meant to get fucked up, not to sing karaoke." Y/N said as she took a long sip of her drink, resting her cheek on her palm.
"Who says we can't do both here? Besides, I'll be fun." Marcus said.
"I don't sing, my loves. I came for the alcohol." Hannah finished her drink and stood up to walk to the bar to get another one.
"You're alcoholics, both of you."
"I call it, drown in your own sorrow."
"Cheers for that."
After a few rounds, Nolan was up serenading Marcus, completely out of key but no one cared since they were all already a little bit tipsy. Y/N was having a great time with her friends, completely forgetting the reason why she got drunk at three in the afternoon. No one knew what she did to not be hungover right now, but nonetheless, they were glad she was there having fun too.
That was until Nolan noticed Harry walk into the bar.
"Pst, Han." He whispered. "Wait ten seconds then turn around."
She did what he said. "Oh, so he did come."
"Wait, what?!" he whispered-yelled.
"I told him we'd be here." She shrugged.
"Why the hell would you do that?"
"Because they need to talk." Nolan rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap, you know I'm right. Y/n deserves an apology and Harry has one, easy peasy."
"You forgot the part where he broke her heart."
"Hey, I'm not defending him. However, they're crazy for each other and unless they talk things out, we'll have our best friend become an alcoholic."
"What are you two gossiping about?" Y/n said, returning to the table after going to the bathroom.
"About how I need another drink!" Hannah exclaimed.
"Ugh, me too. I'll go this time." She got up again.
"Wait!" Nolan grabbed her hand but Hannah kicked him under the table, making him groan.
"Are you okay?"
"Uh, yes. Can you bring me one too?"
"I got you, babes."
She walked to the bar while humming the song someone was singing up there. "Oop." Y/n tripped over her own feet but before she could fell face down on the floor, someone wrapped a hand around her forearm. "Oh, thank you..." She looked up to see the stranger who saved her and her breath hitched when she saw him. "Harry."
"Hey, love."
"What... how-? Wait, don't call me love!" She crossed her arms, annoyed.
"Y/n, wait, please. We need to talk."
"Oh, no, no. We-" She signaled the space between them. "Have nothing to talk about."
"Listen to me, please. I know you don't have to, and I know that I was horrible and behaved like a proper dick five months ago, but I want to apologize to you, I'm begging you."
She sighed. She looked into his eyes and saw a flash of hurt and regret, his hair also looked a mess and he looked like he hasn't shaved in a while. Maybe he's been feeling as bad as her. Deep down, she hoped he has.
"Five minutes, then I'm gone."
Harry wasted no time and pulled her towards the bathrooms, entering the ladies one and double-checking it was empty before locking the door. "First of all, you have no idea how much I've missed you." She opened her mouth, probably to throw a sarcastic comment but he interrupted her. "Let me finish, please. Last time I saw you... I wasn't nice, at all. I lashed out at you for no reason, honestly. You were right, I've got no say in whatever you want to do with your body. I was a brat and I was mad at... honestly, I don't know what I was mad about. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this, but I don't need anyone else if I have you, Y/n. You're the love of my life and-" He grabbed her hands. "I love you with my whole heart. If kids isn't something you want, then we don't need it, baby."
"Harry, you don't know what you're talking about."
"Excuse me?"
"You love kids! I know you've always wanted to be a father, and you'll be a great one, one day. You deserve to have the future you've always dreamt of having." She offered him a tiny smile. "I'm not the future that you want, H."
"Y/n, listen to me, you're my dream. You, no one else."
"If we stayed together, one day you're gonna wake up and realize you missed your opportunity of having a family of your own and you're gonna hate me forever."
"Of course not." He said, offended. "How could you say that? I could never, never hate you. I'd hate my life if you weren't in it."
"We want different things. And despite me knowing that, I still walked into this relationship because I was selfish. Selfish because I thought you... you would change your mind."
"You're the most selfless person I've ever known, my love. You're not selfish, I'm an asshole. I didn't listen to you because I always want everything to be my way. But we're a team, we got each other. We don't need anything else."
At this point, Harry was ready to drop on his knees and beg for forgiveness. He was trying so hard to not start sobbing right there, but Y/n looked like she's made up her mind and he felt like his heart was breaking more and more as the minutes passed. He didn't know what else to say to convince her to be with him, and that terrified him.
"I don't know..."
"Please, give me one more chance. Please, baby."
Y/n was really trying to think this through. On one hand, she missed him more than anything, and she's been miserable these past months without her, no matter how much she tried to put on a happy face for everyone around her. On the other hand, she felt like she needed to let Harry go so he could be happy with someone else, someone who shared the same dreams and plans as him. Her blood boiled at the last part, feeling jealous of even thinking about Harry, his Harry, being with someone else.
She had him right in front of her on a silver plate, ready to rebuild their relationship because he loved her too much to let her go.
"I really missed you." She finally collapsed into his arms, holding him tightly. "And I'm so scared of losing you."
"You're not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me, okay?" He cupped her cheeks, looking at her straight in the eye. Her eyes were filled with tears but a little smile was forming on her face. "My pretty baby. I love you so so much and I'm so excited to spend my life with you."
"I love you too, I can't wait to be with you forever."
#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles imagines#harry styles one shot#harry styles one shots#harry styles blurb#harry styles blurbs#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n
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Terrified | Charlie Gillespie
Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Pregnant!Reader
Summary: You’re afraid of motherhood due to your own personal issues with your mother.
Warnings: ANGST, mentions of abuse and neglect, mentions of adoption and unwanted pregnancy. Happy ending.
Word Count: 1,452
A/n: This is intense. This fic was not planned but I think this is my best fic that I ever wrote. I hope you enjoy and reblog!
Your husband’s voice continued to ring through your head.
We’re going to be parents, Y/n.
You had been feeling nauseous the past few weeks and your period was around two weeks late. You took three pregnancy tests that morning and they all came back positive. Charlie was ecstatic and immediately began jumping for joy when he saw the positive pregnancy tests. He was the one that encouraged you to take them, and he had been correct. You were pregnant and you were fucking terrified.
Growing up you had always wanted children of your own. When you were four, you played with your baby dolls wishing you were a mother. As you grew up you realized how much you didn’t want to be a mother anymore, and that was all because of your emotionally abusive mother.
Growing up, you always felt neglected. Your mother would usually focus on the successes and achievements of your older sister. She was her pride and joy, but you were the “dumb” daughter, and the “weird” child too. You did alright in school, but you just weren’t a straight A student like your sister was. Your mother hated you for that. She wanted you to be “perfect” and you weren’t, at least in her eyes.
After your sister left for college, you were left with your recently divorced mother. In order to cope she began excessively drinking and smoking. She was often drunk and you would have to pick up the pieces and help her. You never once went to your sister for help because you didn’t want to disturb her new life away from your mother. Your mother treated you like garbage. She body shamed you and degraded you. She would make you feel unsafe in your own home. Once you got the chance to leave, you never returned.
You felt broken when you finally left your mother. She had completely broken you, and the thought of having your own children scared you. You never would want your children to grow up in an unloving home.
When you started dating Charlie, you didn’t talk about the future a lot. You didn’t know what you wanted, so there was nothing to really talk about. You were so damaged that you didn’t know what to look forward to in your life.
Charlie encouraged you to seek therapy, and you thanked him every day for that. It definitely helped and you realized nothing that happened between you and your mother was your fault at all. She was completely to blame and you finally accepted that.
After many therapy sessions, you were finally ready to plan your life out. You went to college, graduated, landed an amazing job, bought a house with Charlie, and finally got married after three years of dating. The one thing you didn’t think about was having a baby. That thought still scared you. You thought that you wouldn’t be a good mother.
Ever since you saw the positive test you have been freaking out. Charlie couldn’t get a hold of you. You did everything you could to distract yourself and ignore him. You didn’t want to face him.
“Y/n?” Charlie called out to you. You had been in your office for about four hours and Charlie was definitely worried about you. You would usually come out of your office once in a while to eat or spend time with him. He was concerned, to say the least.
You didn’t answer him and just continued typing an email out instead. Charlie decided to try calling out for you again.
“Angel, you need to eat. Remember you have to eat for you and the baby.” That’s right. The baby. The baby growing inside of you. You decided to step out of your office and make your way to the kitchen. You were getting hungry after all. You went to the fridge to get some leftovers.
“Hey, honey,” Charlie said as he made his way over to you. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and then kneeled in front of you to press a kiss on your stomach. Anyone else would think that your husband is absolutely adorable giving a kiss to your unborn baby, but you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.
“Char, we need to talk.”
“What is it?” Charlie’s voice laced with concern, especially when he saw your eyes water.
“I’m scared to be a mother,” you said as Charlie met your gaze. “I don’t know if I want to keep the baby.”
“What do you mean you don’t want to keep it?” Charlie asked gently, not in a rude way at all. Not like you expected. Charlie really loved you, but he didn’t want to hear the next words come out of your mouth. He wanted to be a father so badly and he wanted to raise the baby with you.
“Maybe we can put the baby up for adoption once they’re born,” you said. You didn’t want to, but you didn’t want to be a terrible mother.
“Y/n, why don’t you want to keep the baby?” Charlie asked, tears flowing from his hazel eyes. “Our baby.”
“I had a really bad childhood and I don’t want to give our child a bad life.”
“Y/n, I know for a fact that you’re not going to give them a bad life. We’ll give them the best life,” Charlie tried to reassure you.
“I’m fucked up, Charlie,” you snapped. “Don’t you get it?” You didn’t want to yell at your husband, but he wasn’t understanding you.
“Y/n, your mother was the bad guy, not you,” Charlie reminded you. “You’ve been working on yourself, trying to get better.”
“I can’t have a baby, Charlie,” you cried. “This is not something we’ve talked about. You know that.”
“Because I just assumed that what’s you wanted too.”
“I did,” you paused. “When I was younger.”
“What changed?” He asked.
“My mother,” you said and then walked back to your office. You couldn’t handle this anymore. You didn’t want to fight anymore. Charlie rushed after you but you slammed the door in his face. You knew it wasn’t right but you needed to be alone right now. You had way too much on your mind.
“Y/n, please, open the door,” Charlie said from the other side. You slid down against the door and put your knees up to your chest and hugged yourself tightly.
“Y/n, I know this is not what you want, but I really think we should keep the baby,” Charlie said, knowing you can hear him clearly. “I just know that you’re going to be an incredible mom. The baby is going to love you, Y/n. I promise you that.” You started crying while Charlie was speaking, which urged him to continue.
“I know that you didn’t have the best childhood, and that’s why I know you’re going to make sure our child has the best one. You realized that what your mother did to you was wrong, and I am certain that you’ll do what’s good for our child. I just know that you’ll love them so much. You picked up the pieces to your life and you’re successful now, and I know you’ll raise an incredible and beautiful human being.”
Everything that Charlie said was true. You managed to pick up the pieces of your broken life and escape your mother. You had everything in you to raise a child.
You wiped the tears off of your face and got up to open the door to reveal a saddened Charlie. You wrapped your arms around him almost immediately.
“Thank you, Charlie.” Charlie hugged you back and cried onto your shoulder.
“You’re going to be an amazing mom, Y/n,” Charlie said. “If you decide to raise it.”
“I want to have this baby with you, Char,” you spoke, voice barely above a whisper.
Charlie lifted his head from your shoulder and looked at you straight in the eyes. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. Thank you for helping me realize that my childhood wasn’t my fault.”
“No, you realized that.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you, Charlie,” you said in appreciation.
“I’m just glad that you want to keep the baby,” Charlie said as he kneeled in front of you once again to kiss your stomach.
“I’m sorry about considering other options.”
Charlie looked up at you and said, “It’s okay to be scared, Y/n. Just know that I got you, alright?”
“Thank you. I love you so much,” You said as you kneeled down so you were on the floor with him.
“I love you, too,” He said and then kissed you gently.
“You’re an amazing husband,” you mumbled against his lips. “An already great father, too.”
#charlie gillespie x reader#charlie gillespie imagine#charlie gillespie#charlie gillespie angst#charlie gillespie fluff#charlie gillespie fanfiction#jatp
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have you watched elite's season 4 finale already? what are your takes on caye and phillipe? no judgements here tho, just want to know your opinion on them
Hello, nonny! Yes, I did. My opinion about Caye and Philippe has several different aspects (which a litle bit conflict with each other).
Lets write long post.)) Sorry for mistakes and typos, English is not my first language and I`m not really good with grammar.
1) Caye and Philippe story is feminist retelling-reverse of the Beauty and the Beast, where main characters didn`t became couple and The Beauty left her Beast not for Gaston other romance, but for her own path. And their relationship helped the Beast to realize his past mistakes and make to want to fix it, even if it`s too late . Comparing with many other things in that season that storyline was not bad. Really. There MANY problems with s4, I think the best stolyline had Rebe and Mencia, it was really good, and in my personal opinion, despite many flaws, Caye and Philippe storyline is second one for me. Kinda it was not really good, but it had plot, idea, composition and message. Writers knew very clear, what they tried to say, and despite obvious lack of screen time, they handle it, and this story, despite it doesn`t connect with main plot, resonate with main storyline on the level of their ideas. (About it later.) I know, Georgina is feminist, so I wonder, could she give some advice writers? Kinda “it can work better if...” something like it.
2) Personally I`m very disappointed how OOC was Caye in that season and how few screen time she had. For me Caye from s4 feels like too much different person than in s2-3. I wanted character development for her, but something more slow and realistic. S4 Cayetana feels like all her character development happened between s3 and s4 (and partly in special, which really was very good), and I don`t believe in it. Caye from s4 is good character, but there is no real connection with Caye from s2-3.
I knew, she was very upopular character in s2-3, so maybe creators afraid to gave her too much screen time. But also they still wanted she was part of story and write redemption arc for her. And honestly, anon, these two thing can`t work together well. When you write redemption arc for well written nuanced character that Cayetana was in s2-3, you need give character enough screen time and nuances. But it seems, s4 writers don`t care enough about writing S1-3 characters in character. In s2-3 Caye was bad girl, but also she was comedy relief (but s4 has very few comedy moments), she had family (where the fuck her mother and granddad now? We know only that her mother cannot work in Las Ensinas, but don`t know, why), we saw, that she did`t sleep almost, because she learn in Las Ensinas, worked as janitor and still hung out with rich kids. (I think I began feel compassion for her, when realized it). It that seson she almost has not other scenes than with Philippe. OK, she was pariah in school during previous year, but if writers began that things with Caye and Rebe friendship, can they continue it. Rebe and Caye both had problem with their love interests and they never discussed it. Only time they speak about Philippe was in 402. Also Benjamin fired Azucena, and wanted to expel Samu and Omar, but Caye still works there? And Benjamin still protects her even? Why? I mean, after whole thing with scam in s2. Maybe it because protection of Polo`s mothers, but it never was said in s4 even. It seems, Benjamin knows things about her story with Polo (like he knows about Philippe`s past), and it could be really interesting possiblity to bring on scene that aspect of situation and Benjamin`s character and him and Caye interaction.
Also there is something with Georgina`s acting in s4, in most of scenes she acts as different character, so maybe it was and her (as actress) decision too. I wrote before, she is feminist, and maybe she wanted to bring more feminists vibes in s4 Caye, because it makes storyline works better? Given how few connection with previous seasons on script level her s4 story had, it make sense even, it`s just feel OOC for me, because Caye is not feminist at all. She is strong and ambitious, but she is not type of women what call themselves feminists, and when she said “I became my own Fairy Godmother” in s2, she meant that she was forced to do it. Caye was girl who wanted to be princess from old school Disney animation. In s3 she wanted to live and study on Polo mother money in London and was fully OK with it. When she refused their proposition, it was because thoughts, that Polo could be alive and even more or lesser happy in other school without those her messages, haunted her. Plus when Polo died, he thought Caye was with him more because his money than because Polo himself. I remember, in her first scene Caye read The Second Sex, but it was spectacle for her schoolmates. And when she spoke with them about her fake rich life, it always was “look how rich and glamour I am”. Partly she spoke in this way because she knew very few about rich people`s life, but also there were some of her dreams. She wanted to be rich and and be part of this glamour life. In s3 she became in some way, and she had a lot of possiblities to understand how many shit, pain and tragedies can hide for glamour facade. Theoretically she knew it before. But she was exctremely poor, so it was a little bit difficult for her to think about it too much.
3) So I think more mention of Caye`s story from s2-3 could make her and Philippe story better. Philippe himself have same problem as Polo in some way: he is rich guy, and his mother indulged him too much. Caye saw how Polo`s mother indulged him and saw where it ended. Not good for Polo and many other people. Marina and Polo could be alive and Samu`s family could live with him in Spain, if Polo`s mothers raised their son better. Even if Caye don`t care much about Guzman or Samu and she never knew Marina, she had enough time between seasons to reflect of situation. So with more s2-3 reference that “matter of education thing” Caye says to Philippe`s mother could sound not only as sort of feminist slogan, but as something very personal and painful for Caye. She was in love with boy, who was spoiled too much by his parents (like Philippe), and it brought a lof pain him, his friends, Caye. I don`t say there are not at all attempts include previous Caye experience in s4. For example, when Caye does google research about Philippe and finds nothings, she is still suspicious because she know, how easy money could erase some thing. Also that thing with Pilippe`s mother. I think after conversation with her,Caye realized that Philippe`s and Polo`s promblems had very much same roots. But such moments really have not enough space. Guzman had at least one scene, where he speak about his reflection on s1 evens (where he compares Mencia and Marina). I would like to see something like it with Caye.
4) Many things in Caye and Philippe storyline feel offscreen. We know they regularly talk in school, but see very few of it etc. Actors have good chemistry, and since they both like fashion design, it feels enough for beginning of communication, plus Caye had crush on Philippe long before they met, plus she was first who was really friendly with him in new school (in some way it`s repeat of Caye and Polo story, but with more positive vibes). But I want to see more illustration, why Philippe fell in love with Caye so much.
5) Now about Philippe himself. I saw many hateposts and hatecomments about him, and it`s really funny, because I constantly see how many people in this fandom love Polo and think he deserved better, despite Polo is murderer. Yes, he killed Marina out of emotion, but she is fucking dead. She will never resurrect. Guzman will remember till grave that his best friend killed his sister and then was killed by Guzman`s ex-girlfriend, because policy failed to handle their job well. Samu`s brother was forced to left Spain because it. But it took 2 seasons for Polo to understand he needs go to policy and confess he killed Marina. Caye didn`t understood how wrong her actions were till Polo`s death. I don`t know how long was Elodie`s rape, but at least Philippe didn`t need someone`s corpse to realize his mistakes. Inside standart of this show that guy isn`t hopeless. “Everybody deserve second chance” was important point in Caye`s story in s2-3, so now I wonder how writers will play this card in s5 in relationship between Philippe and Caye.
Also I want to say I was wrong, when doubted in Pol Granch acting, he`s good additon to Elite cast.
6) Caye x Philippe storyline and main storyline. In that seson Elite brings of scene, in additon of another murder and drug traid, sex crimes. Prostitution, rapes. It`s interesting, that connection here takes place through Ari, girl, who has serious problem with sexual behavior, when she`s drunk. She`s know it`s perfectly, but also she knows, that when woman says “no”, it`s means “no” and end of story. I really like her role in Caye and Philippe story and I hope in s5 there will be at least some scenes with her and Caye. Also interesting point were Ari`s word that she never report to the police without prove. It feels ambigous. She knows, Phillippe is not angel at all. But also there is other side of coin. I think, she also knows, reputation can be ruined very easy. During s4 there was subplot with discussion club. And Samu speak that ex-criminals cannot become somebody else, even if they wants. Their reputation in society was ruined. In final of Philippe story he sent Elodie his confession. So maybe writers tried to write about theme “can criminal, who admitted his mistakes, to became somebody else?” through season and I think they will continue it in s5.
Sorry if this all sounds muddled and too long. Maybe later I will make some additon into reblogs to this post, I don`t know.
#elite#elite netflix#elite spoilers#elite s4#cayetana grajera#philippe florian von triesenberg#cayetana x phillippe#polo benavent#polo x cayetana#georgina amoros#pol granch#ari bianco commerford#elite meta#text post
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Finally
Summary: A heated argument makes him accidentally confess his feelings
Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x black!gn!reader
Warnings: a HUGE amount of angst, but don’t worry there’s a happy ending, brief mentions of alcohol consumption, one (1) bad chem joke, and a lot of tears
Word Count: 2,629
A/N: Um, you could say this is to make up for the Gojou angst I wrote earlier lolol, and I wanted to write for Kuroo cause I hadn’t written a fic for him yet and this is what came out of it
Tags: @her-majesty-kiara, @iwascrybaby
Kuroo groans when he hears his doorbell ring, wondering who's bothering him during his one-person movie night, and he haphazardly gets off the couch, pausing the movie before he walks to the door.
The annoyed, apathetic look on his face is quickly wiped off when he sees you standing on his porch, eyes red. He sighs, wordlessly stepping to the side to let you in, softly closing the door as he follows you back into the living room.
He sits back in his spot with a heavy sigh, and you follow, but you don't sit right next to him, which is normal behavior whenever you come to him like this. He throws an arm over the couch as you sniffle, your eyes on your lap. "So, what was it this time?"
He hates how he has to add that every time you show up at his door. He's lost count, and he hates that too. You wipe at your eye before you shrug. "He broke it off," is all you say, your voice not loud but not quiet either.
And he hates how it seems like you've just come to terms with this situation. Every time there's a new boyfriend, there's a new issue. Sometimes he wants to grab you by your shoulders and shake you, hoping that it'll make you see that it doesn't have to be this way for you.
Kuroo sighs again. "I'm sorry," he responds. "You wanna go get something to eat?"
You scoff as you shake your head, finally looking at him. "Go ahead and say it," you suddenly speak up, and it makes Kuroo frown at you.
"What are you talking about?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at your sudden outburst and change in demeanor.
"I can hear it in your voice, Kuroo. Just go ahead and say it." The anger in your voice, makes him sit up.
"What are you going about? I--"
"Just say I told you so and get it over with." He falls silent for a few seconds. He guesses after the same event happening over and over again, he got worse at hiding his true feelings. "You sound like that every single time. God, it's so annoying."
Now it's his turn to scoff. "I'm sorry? I've been telling you for a while now that they weren't good enough for you," he argues, your words rubbing him in the completely wrong way.
"And how are you supposed to know that? You've never liked any guy that I've dated, and it's like you just wait for me to get my heart broken just so you can rub it in my face that you were right."
"That sounds like a you problem, y/n. You think I'd do that to hurt you? You think I'd lie to you?" His voice is starting to rise, and he's never liked doing that, but you're pissing him off. How you let yourself get treated is pissing him off.
"God, you are such an asshole," you spit before you're standing, and he's quick to follow, grabbing your wrist.
"I'm the asshole? Oh, that's fucking rich." You snatch your wrist out of his grip before turning to face him.
"What is it, Kuroo?" you start, your voice now matching his. "Why is it that every single guy isn't good enough for me? Are you sure you're not trying to tell me that it's the other way around?"
He clenches his jaw. He has to choose his next words carefully before this hellhole of an argument really blows over. But he doesn't know what to say, and his silence spurs you on.
"If you thought I was that bad of a person to be dating then why would you let me go out with them anyway?" He feels the anger bubbling violently in his chest, the cap on the lid about to bust. "You just wanted me to think lowly of myself?"
"Because I FUCKING LOVE YOU, and I know that I could treat you better than any of those guys combined!" he screams, his voice booming through the house, making you flinch violently.
And he's trying to calm himself down, realizing what he said. The fucking cat that he's been trying to keep in the bag just leaped out with flying colors. He looks at you, your face completely different than it was before his accidental confession.
The silence is literally making his ears ring as he looks down at the floor. "Get out." He stops you when he knows you're about to say something.
"Kuroo--"
"Get the fuck out." He doesn't look up. He can't. But he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to lose you, but he just did. He couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut and now he's paying the price.
"Fine," he hears you say, the words bitter. And he hears your footsteps moving towards the door, and the door opening.
And he jumps when he hears it slam.
He lays in his bed for days. The pillows and sheets are stained with tears, his head pounding from the consistent crying. The more he replays the scene in his head, the harder he cries.
He could barely reach for his phone without crying because usually, the first thing he does when he reaches for his phone is think of you. He gets stupid drunk, but that only makes him cry worse, his headache making his head feel like it's being split open.
He wants to smash everything that has any memories of you tainted on it, but every time he goes to shatter a picture frame, he can't let it go.
How could you ever think about yourself that way? About him? The last thing he ever wanted you to think was that he thought you weren't good enough. But his annoyance was winning out.
He was tired of you boasting about a new guy you were potentially about to go on a date with. How you would tell him about all the dates you went on. And then you would come to him, crying because they broke your heart.
He was tired of being the guy that helps you fix your broken heart instead of being the one that got to hold it.
And he ruined it all. He had just been fucking content with being your friend then none of this would be happening. He wouldnt've lost the person he loved the most.
He wanted to call you his so bad. He wanted you to be the first thing to wake up to and the last thing to see before he went to sleep. He wanted to kiss you under the mistletoe like in those stupid cliche Christmas movies.
He wanted to dance with you in the kitchen, no music playing, just the two of you, relishing in each other's touch. He wanted to get down on one knee and tell you everything that he loved about you. That he had been in love with you from the moment he met you. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, but having the privilege of calling you his.
You were so close to him. Yet so, so far away.
But he put up with it. He watched you in a happy relationship, hoping it would get him to get over you. But it failed. No matter what he did, what he tried. It hurt to see you in a relationship, and it hurt to see you crying due to the relationship crumbling.
He calls Kenma, barely able to retell the story because of how bad his voice is breaking, the tears falling all over again as his body heaves with sobs. But he's never seen Kenma come over to his house so fast.
Kenma stays for nearly the whole day, Kuroo spending nearly two and half of the hours convincing Kenma that it was completely fine for him to go home.
He felt empty. Like his body had been hollowed out. He cleaned up his house, the gloomy feeling settling over him only lifting slightly, but he was proud of himself for making progress. Slowly but surely.
He pretty sure things are starting to go back to "normal." The word having a different meaning now that you're no longer here.
He's scrolling through his phone deciding on whether he should cook or get take out when the noise against his door makes his whole body freeze. He tells himself that he was imagining it, that it was nothing, but he can't stop himself from walking into the living room to make sure he told himself right.
He nearly drops his phone when he hears the familiar knock. The only one that you use. He finds himself conflicted, not knowing whether to run to the door and throw it open and hugging you or running to his room and not coming out until your gone.
You knock again, and he feels like his legs are going to give out as he slowly walks towards it. He stands in front of it, not making a move to unlock it, but picturing you standing on the other side.
"Open the door, Kuroo," you say, your voice muffled, but he can hear it clear as day, and he hasn't heard your voice in so long that it makes him realize how much his heart still aches, and it almost makes him open the door.
He knows that once his eyes land on you, he'll cry. He knows it.
"Please." And he feels himself crack. Might as well get this over with and finally move on.
His hands are shaking like crazy as he slowly unlocks the door, pausing for a moment before he turns the knob. He's not looking at you when he fully opens the door, opting to look at the floor. He's not ready, he doesn't think he'll ever be.
The tension is so thick he feels like he can't breathe. Or that could be because he's trying to keep himself calm. He brings himself to look at you, and he never thought in a million years that he would struggle with looking at you. Not when he's been doing it for so long.
He feels the tears forming before he even gets to your face. He sighs heavily when he finally meets your eyes, yours looking just as puffy and swollen as his were.
He doesn't know what to say or feel. He wants to say so much, but he can't. He doesn't want a repeat of last time.
"You can't love me."
He feels his barely mended heart fall apart again. He scoffs painfully as he wipes the tears that start falling, turning back around to walk into the house, and he has the urge to stop you when he hears you walk in behind him, closing the door.
"You can't love me," he slows to a stop when he hears your voice break. "Because." Your voice is wavering, and you stop again, letting out a quick sob. "Because I love you."
Kuroo feels his whole world shift as he feels more tears flood into his eyes. He pushes away that small moment of hope, huffing as he wipes his face. "y/n--"
"That's not how this works," you cut him off, but he doesn't turn around. "I'm the one that always falls and never gets caught."
Your lips are quivering so bad that the words are barely coming out. Kuroo slowly turns around, seeing that you have tears streaming down your face. He's looking for the lie, waiting for the part when he wakes up.
You take a careful step forward, and Kuroo doesn't have it in him to stop you. "It's--"
"I'll catch you." There's pain etched on both of your faces, but your eyes widen slightly in shock. "God, y/n, I will always catch you. I--"
He steps closer to you, and he reaches out to touch you, but he stops himself, not sure if it's the right move. "I can't believe you thought I would ever think that way about you."
"I know, and I'm so fucking sorry. I was upset, and I took it out on you. I didn't mean any of it," you explain, your sentence wavering off towards the end. "I was just--nothing ever worked out for me, and I thought that you would never feel the same, so I--"
You can't help it this time, not even biting your lip can muffle your cries, and Kuroo's pulling you into his chest, and you nearly cry as hard as you did on that awful day, and Kuroo holds you like you'll slip away from him at any moment as more tears fall down his face.
Your hands are holding on tight to his shirt that he feels it might rip, but he doesn't care. The only thing that he cares about is that he finally has you back in his arms.
"I'm sorry," he breathes, resting his face in your hair, and you lift your head up.
"You shouldn't be apologizing. I--"
"I said things that I shouldn't have said too," he says, cupping your face in his hands, rubbing over some of the dried tear tracks staining your brown skin. "I swear I didn't mean it."
You sniffle loudly as you bring your hands up to wipe the tears off of his face. "I love you, Tetsurou." The sound of his name sounds amazing coming from you, and he feels his heart swell as he smiles widely, feeling tears brimming his eyes again.
"And I love you." He does. With every single thing in his body. You huff softly as his finger rubs over your cheek. "Can I kiss you?"
You nod quickly, and he chuckles softly on the outside, but on the inside, he's bouncing off the walls. He doesn't delay any longer, moving in to connect his lips with yours. He feels a shock shoot up his spine, further fueling his love for you.
This is what he imagined. What he's been dreaming of, and it's happening. And he's not in the middle of a dream, even though that's what it feels like. His arms wrap around your waist as he deepens the kiss, pulling you closer to him, not even wanting an inch of space between the both of you.
He hopes that everything confession he's thought about making is being transferred through, wanting you to understand that he loves you to the next universe and back. He reluctantly pulls away, both of your lungs screaming for air, and he leans his head to rest against your forehead.
"Marry me," he breathes, and you huff softly as you look at him.
"Now?"
He nods eagerly. "Yes."
"Are you serious?" you ask, chuckling in disbelief as you move a hand to play with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck.
"As serious as inhaling hydrochloric acid," he jokes quickly, smiling when you laugh. "I'll do all of the formal stuff later. Just please say yes."
You laugh a little louder this time, and he can't help the pang of his heart at the sight, the sounding even more beautiful than music. "Yes, Tetsurou, I'll marry you."
If he thought he was already happy about his feelings being reciprocated, he was definitely through the roof happy now. He plants his lips back on yours, pulling you into an even deeper kiss, and he sighs in content.
He brings you into a hug, huffing in disbelief that you're actually standing here, that you want to marry him. And that your arms feel like home. Like paradise.
He doesn't even care how long it took.
All that matters is that he can finally call you his.
#kuroo tetsurou#tetsurou kuroo#kuroo angst#kuroo fluff#kuroo tetsurou x black!reader#tetsurou kuroo x black!reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq!!#hq#haikyuu!! angst#haikyuu angst#hq!! angst#hq angst#haikyuu!! x black!reader#haikyuu x black!reader
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