A/N: the pic screamed to be turned into somethig dirty, so here we are
WORD COUNT: 1.5k
SUMMARY: There's just something incredibly delicious about seeing Harry sunbathing.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
That’s what comes to your mind when you see your boyfriend spread out on the sunbed like a starfish.
Like a sexy, slightly sweaty starfish with thighs that make your mouth water and a sight of his naked chest that’s screaming to be touched.
You chug down the rest of your cocktail that you’ve been sipping by the bar and excuse yourself from the conversation before making your way over to Harry. He looks peaceful, his skin is glistening in the sun and you very much like the tan he’s gotten lately. You eye how he rolled his shorts up so the sun can reach more of his thighs, the tiger tattoo is out in the public. You don’t want to look like a creep, but you want to snap a picture of him like this so badly. You fight the urge and just climb to the bed, pressing an open mouthed kiss to his sternum to let him know you’re here.
“Mm, I really hope it’s you, Y/N,” he mumbles, keeping his eyes closed, but his hand that lies closer to you moves up and finds your thigh as you sit on your heels next to him.
“And what if it’s not?” you huff, pretending to be hurt he would let another woman touch him like that. A smirk spreads across his face before he finally peeks at you.
“I know what your tongue feels like on me, knew it was you.”
You smack his thigh and then leave your hand there, giving it a squeeze, feeling up his muscles under your palm. Harry closes his eyes again and you shamelessly eye him up. The line of his sternum running between his pecks, the gentle outline of his ribs, the fern tattoos that run right above his swimming trunks… You’re feeling yourself getting wet and he is not even doing anything, just lying in the sun, getting tanned.
Your hand wanders higher and higher on his thigh until your fingers brush underneath the fabric, moving dangerously close to what’s hiding underneath.
“What are you doing?” he asks in a husky tone.
“Nothing?” you reply, but keep brushing your touch over him, gently scratching him with your nails. A low growl bubbles from him as his muscles twitch under your palm. His hand cups your leg again and he squeezes you, but doesn’t say or do anything.
You want him. So badly that you’re afraid if you stand up your bikini bottom might be drenched from your arousal. But he doesn’t seem to get what you’re trying to imply, he is still lounging without a care, so you decide to make it clear what you want from him.
Leaning forward you get on top of him and kiss his lips softly before moving your mouth to his ear.
“If I don’t have your cock down my throat in the next five minutes, I’m gonna have to find someone else to fulfill my needs.”
His eyes pop open, you knew this would get him going, it’s your joker card to play with his jealousy and this time is no exception either.
“I’m sweaty,” he warns you, but it just riles you up even more.
“Room, now,” he orders and gets up so fast you can’t hold back a chuckle.
He grabs his towel and phone in one hand, the other closing around your wrist as he pulls you after him, not even dropping a word to his friends and colleagues lounging around as well. It’s just the two of you in the elevator and as soon as the door slides closed you jump at each other, mouths clashing, hands grabbing at each other and you palm him almost too aggressively, feeling him growing harder with each passing second. Arriving at your floor you basically sprint out and down the hallway to your room, you’re kissing his jaw, licking his neck as he tries to open the door with the keycard, but he can barely find the reader with your hand gripping his cock.
“Fuck,” he groans when the door finally clicks open and you practically fall into the room.
“I need your cock,” you whimper and the two of you don’t even make it to the bed before you drop to your knees on the carpeted floor and tug down his trunks eagerly, setting his cock free finally.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes out when you grab the base and lick him up, wrapping your lips around the head as his hand moves to the back of your head and he gives you a little push as you take him into your mouth finally.
There are occasions when you like to take your time, taste him, play with him, but this is not what you want now. You need rawness, you need him fast and hard and you want him to fuck your mouth like he means it.
You don’t have to speak for him to know what goes on in your head, just one look up at him is enough for him to get the message.
“Such a needy little thing. Want me to fuck your pretty mouth?”
You nod and bob your head, pressing your tongue against him in your mouth.
“Gonna make you gag on my cock, princess,” he breathes out before he takes your head in both his hands to keep you secured in his hold and he starts thrusting with his hips, his cock moving in and out of your mouth rapidly.
He keeps hitting the back of your throat, saliva is running down your chin and tears are dwelling in your eyes but you want him to keep going and use you.
“Touch yourself,” he grunts, always thinking about you as well.
With one hand you grab onto his ass, fingers sinking into the flexing muscles while the other one moves between your legs, dipping under the fabric of your bikini. Wetness coats your fingers as you swipe them between your lips, smearing your arousal over your clit before you start working on it.
Your jaw is sore and you keep gagging as he goes deeper in your mouth with each thrust, but it’s what keeps you going. You see his chest rising and falling rapidly, his skin is glistening from the sweat that’s now not only because of the sun, but you as well. He looks so delicious, you want this sight tattooed into your mind forever.
“Shit, I’m gonna come, baby,” he warns and you know it’s a question too. He wants to know where you want him to come, so you push your nails into his ass, letting him know you want his cum dripping down your throat.
Your hand is vigorously moving on your clit, bringing yourself closer and closer to your own orgasm, but you can’t catch up with Harry. A few more thrusts later he comes hard and loud, your name falling off his tongue over and over again as his movements fall out of rhythm. You keep your eyes locked on his face, drinking up the sight of his orgasm, the way he is gasping for air, his eyes roll to the back of his head and his chest waves from the excitement.
He pushes your head away from him, his cock slipping out of your mouth with a sloppy sound and you swallow every drop of cum, showing him your empty mouth when it’s gone. He wastes no time to pull you up from the floor and kiss you hard on the lips before he turns you around, locking your body against his with one arm while his other hand moves to replace yours in your bikini bottom.
“Harry!” you cry out when his fingers start rubbing on your clit, applying just the perfect amount of pressure. He knows your body almost better than you do, because he builds your orgasm up so fast, it’s ridiculous how he does it without even pushing a finger inside you. Harry knows penetration is not everything, that the right moves at the right spot could do more than just shoving two fingers up your pussy.
Your head drops back to his shoulder as you arch against him, his free hand coming up to grope your breast, making it spill out of your bikini top. You’re throbbing, aching for release and Harry doesn’t disappoint.
You come hard, screaming his name, shaking in his hold, you push against him with so much force he stumbles back and flops down to the edge of the bed, pulling you with him, holding you tight in his embrace as you sit on his lap. You gasp for air, coming off your high while he keeps kissing your shoulder, neck and the side of your head.
“That was…” you hum, but don’t find the right words.
“Love it when you get horny randomly,” he chuckles. You crane your neck to look back at him with a sloppy grin.
“Can’t help it, you looked so delicious.”
He just grins and kisses you, this time it’s slow and lazy and when you feel him growing hard again underneath you, there’s no wasted time as you push him back on the bed and climb over him.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
In which y/n tends to make a lot of spontaneous decisions when she’s drunk, and Harry’s a tattoo artist.
On any average work day, Harry sees a lot of people come through his tattoo shop.
The majority of them are people who’ve gotten tattoos before – usually big burly men who come in to add a new tat to their sleeve, or teenage girls getting a secret butterfly on their side boob. There are the artsy people who come in for some detailed line work, and there are the silly drunk people who get a smiley face tattooed on their ass. Sometimes he’ll have someone come in for their first tattoo ever, shaking in their seat and tearing up before the tattoo gun even touches their skin.
Very rarely does he have someone come in for a piercing. But when they do, they’re usually older girls coming in for a helix or a belly button piercing.
Not five year old girls, wearing sparkly pink shoes and a sunflower printed dress.
“Hi!” Harry’s eyes flicker up to the lady standing behind the little kid. “Do you guys pierce ears here?”
“Erm… for her?” Harry says skeptically, pointing at the little girl. She can’t be older than five years old, standing with her thumb in her mouth and hiding behind the legs of the lady she’d come inside with. The lady seems young, probably the same age as him or a bit younger. He assumes the little girl must be her daughter.
“Yup!” the mom exclaims (or maybe a nanny, or aunt… Harry doesn’t really know. Or care.) “We wanna get her ears pierced for her birthday!” She looks down at the little girl with a glimmer in her eyes.
Harry contemplates saying no, he really does. He doesn’t like having kids in his shop— or anywhere near him if we’re being honest. They have snotty noses and sticky fingers and cry way too loud for him to be able to tolerate them. But this little girl seems relatively nice… she’s been quiet so far, and her nose is clean. Plus, the shop’s not busy today. Even if she did start crying, she wouldn’t scare any customers away. So he decides to be nice – just this one time.
“Sure,” he sighs. “I can do her.” He decides to do it himself instead of assigning the job to one of his employees. He’s been here the longest and has the steadiest hands, so he can get this over with the quickest.
He has the woman (y/n, he learns from the paperwork) sign a couple of papers, then has the two of them pick through the earring options that they have on display.
“Which one do you like the best, Lola?” Harry overhears her asking the little girl. Or– Lola, as he’s overheard.
Lola, still sucking her thumb, points to a pair of heart-shaped pink studs. “Tha’ one,” she says through her stuffed mouth.
“Oh, the hearts are so pretty!” y/n says giddily. “Good choice sweetheart.” She looks up at Harry. “Could we get those ones, please?”
He nods, and makes note of it in their paperwork.
“Follow me,” he says, leading them into the back room where he usually does the piercings. He motions towards a black, leather table that his clients usually sit or lay down on when getting their piercings done. The table is too tall for little Lola to climb onto all by herself, so y/n picks her up and plops her down on the seat. Her little sparkly shoes dangle from the edge, hanging two feet above the floor.
Harry washes his hands and takes out his sterilized materials from the cabinet in the room, as well as the pair of pink earrings that Lola has requested. A pair of black gloves fit onto his hands tightly. He then sits on a little rolly stool and rolls over to where she’s sitting on the bench.
“M’gonna disinfect your ears now,” he says to the little girl, tearing open a package of alcohol swabs. She just nods quietly, thumb in mouth. He can tell that Lola is nervous, her eyes wide and scared with her legs swinging nervously. She keeps looking over at y/n, who’s sitting on a chair right next to the table.
“Are you excited Lola?” she asks enthusiastically, trying to hype the little girl up.
It doesn’t work. Lola’s little eyes start to grow watery, her chin wobbling as she shakes her head no. “M’scared,” she whines, a frown taking over her face.
Harry rolls away as soon as he sees the tears. Maybe this was a bad idea.
“Oh no, Lola!” she exclaims, squatting in the spot Harry had just been. She grabs Lola’s hands in hers and looks into the little girl’s tearful eyes. “Don’t be scared! We don’t have to pierce your ears if you don’t wanna baby.”
“But I do!” Lola whimpers.
“Well then what’s the problem bubs?” she asks soothingly.
Lola looks at Harry, then leans over to (not so successfully) whisper in y/n’s ear. “He’s scary,” she says, the pout on her face only deepening. Y/n looks over at Harry helplessly.
Ah, yes. He supposes his all black clothes, tattooed arms, and black painted nails weren’t doing much to comfort the little girl… maybe he is a little scary.
“Hey,” he says rolling back to the table, his voice somewhat softer than the deep, grumpy rumble it had been before. He’s gonna have to really up the niceness if he wants to get through the session smoothly. “Nothing to be scared of, little lady. It’ll just take a second and s’not even gonna hurt.” He gives a tight smile, the best he can muster up despite his apprehensiveness about talking to a kid on the verge of tears.
“Y’hear that, bubs?” she reassures the little girl with a big smile on her face. She plays with Lola’s hands encouragingly. “Come one, you’re a big girl. You can do it!”
Lola sniffles deeply and wipes her eyes with her tiny fists. “M’a big girl,” she affirms with a confident nod.
“Good girl!” y/n says, giving Lola a stellar high five. She gets up from where she’d been squatting and goes back to her seat, letting Harry roll back to where he’d previously been.
“I’m going to wipe your ears again, okay? We’ve gotta make sure they’re nice and clean.” Harry explains. He’s added a bit of an enthusiastic kick to his voice, really selling the “I’m not a big meanie!” vibe to Lola. She nods, a few leftover tears hanging onto her long eyelashes.
She winces when the cold wipe touches her earlobe, and Harry fears for his life. Was every little thing going to make this little girl cry? He decides to distract her. “How old are you, Lola?” He asks the first question that comes to mind.
She holds up five fingers. “Wow! Five years old!” he bursts. “You’re a big girl!”
That makes her smile and nod happily. Harry internally lets out a sigh of relief. He got a smile out of her, who would’ve thought!
He takes a sterile pen and marks two dots on Lola’s earlobe for where the piercing would go. “What do you think?” he says, turning to y/n. She nods and holds up an excited thumbs up.
“Okay, Lola,” Harry says nervously, pulling out the needle he’d be using to pierce her ear. He cleans it below the table so that the little girl doesn’t see it and start crying. “M’gonna need you to stay very still for this next part. Okay, sweetheart?” Lola agrees, but her composure falters when he brings the needle into view. “I know it’s a little scary, but I need you to be brave. Can you do that for me? Be a brave girl for me?”
She nods her head. “Brave,” she mumbles to herself. “Brave girl.”
He realizes that the clamps that he usually uses for piercing ears is too big for Lola’s small earlobes – but it’s okay. He’s done so many impromptu piercings that he has a shit ton of experience not using the proper equipment. Instead, he just holds the skin of her earlobe tightly and stretches it taut so that the needle would go in smoothly.
“Okay Lola, take a deep breath in,” he instructs gently, piercing the needle through her skin in one smooth motion, “...and out.” He quickly follows through with the heart shaped studs and secures it with the backing. “You did it! One ear done!”
She looks up at him confused. “That was it?” she asks, reaching her hand up to feel if the earring is actually there.
Harry catches her little hand and brings it down to her lap before it makes contact with her piercing. “Ah, ah-” he tuts, “we can’t touch it okay? You gotta let it heal or else it’ll start to hurt.” He notices the way her little fingers wrap around his hand as he holds them still in her lap. “Are you ready to do the other ear?” he asks patiently.
She nods a bit more enthusiastically this time, no longer scared.
“Atta girl!” he exclaims, piercing the other ear in the same manner. He sanitizes her ears one last time and makes sure that everything is secure before holding up a mirror for the little girl to see her reflection in. “What do you think?”
Lola’s eyes go round, glimmering happily. “Pretty,” she says, looking at y/n for confirmation.
“So pretty, Lola!” she exclaims, standing up and pinching the little girl’s cheek. “M’so proud of you, you’re such a big girl! Thank you…” she looks at Harry, trailing off at the fact that she doesn’t know his name.
“Harry,” he fills in for her. He rolls away from Lola and throws away the trash.
She smiles softly. “Thank you, Harry.”
It’s a quiet night at the tattoo shop, which Harry is thankful for.
There’d been a few appointments earlier in the day, larger pieces that people had scheduled months in advance because they took a lot of consultations and took long chunks of time to tattoo – but there had barely been any walk-ins. It’s a Thursday night, so of course his business isn’t bustling the way it would be on a Saturday.
Harry decides to start cleaning up – if he’s lucky, nobody else would venture in before their closing time and he’d be able to get home a bit early. (His little cat is waiting for him at home!) He wipes down the tattoo chairs and puts away all the needles, sweeps the floors and turns off the lights in the staff room in silence, until suddenly, he hears the bell above the door ring and someone clumsily stumbles in. It’s y/n.
Harry looks at her. She looks at him.
“Hi…?” Harry says, his voice a little doubting, a little bit confused. Why was she back?
She stands in front of him nervously. “Um…” she’d stumbled into the tattoo shop with such confidence, but finds herself suddenly nervous and unable to speak under Harry’s intimidating gaze. “Hi.”
She won’t lie– she’s a little, teensy weensy bit drunk right now. She’d been at the bar across the street with a couple of her girlfriends, just hanging out and having fun, when she spilled to them about the hot tattoo artist who worked at the shop across the street.
She’s had plenty of fleeting crushes in her life, but none have been as quick and captivating as her crush on Harry. With his deep voice, green eyes, and tan skin, he’s cast some sort of spell on her. She’d been in his presence for what… a total of 45 minutes? And yet she can’t get him off her mind!
He was just… really hot! And he had that sexy, mysterious vibe to him…. With all those tattoos and the rings and the black eyeliner… gosh he was straight out of some bad boy romance novel! If it weren’t for the fact that she’d been with her five-year old goddaughter when she met him for the first time, she’s sure she would’ve started acting up. He was just so attractive!
In her tipsy state, with her cheeks warm and a fuzzy feeling in her chest, she couldn’t help but rant to her friends about it. She’d met the hottest guy ever, and she’d never have the chance to see him again! It was tragic!
Well… it doesn’t have to be that way, her friends told her. What was stopping her from heading over to the tattoo shop right now?
No, she thought to herself. Going over to the tattoo shop, drunk, with absolutely nothing to say except Hi, I think you’re hot? She could never do that…
The vodka lemonade in her system said otherwise, though. That, along with all her friends who hyped her, had somehow managed to convince her to venture across the street and visit her dreamy tattoo man!
So now she’s in his tattoo shop, with absolutely no idea of what to say or how to act.
“How can I help you?” he asks after a tense second of silence.
“Um…” she doesn’t really have a game plan, but she decides on the spot, “I want a piercing.”
“A piercing?” he clarifies. She nods. “Okay… where?”
She points to the shell of her ear. “You want a helix piercing?” he asks once more.
“Yeah,” she says confidently, accompanied by an eager nod of her head.
“Okay…” he mulls it over for a second. “Are you… y’know– like, in the right headspace to do this?” Something is telling him that she’s not completely sober, and he doesn’t want to do something that she’d regret.
“Yeah, yeah!” She brushes it off nonchalantly, “I only had like, one drink! And I’ve been meaning to get a piercing, especially after I came in here with Lola.”
The first half of that was a lie– she had like, three drinks. But, it is true that she’d been thinking about getting her helix pierced for a while. She’d always thought they were cool, and had thought to herself that she’d like to get it done. She just never had taken any initiative on that thought… until right now, at least.
“If you say so…” He’s still a bit doubtful, but he supposes his slight suspicion isn’t enough of a reason to refuse service to her.
He brings her the paperwork on a clipboard and gets all his required equipment out as she fills it out. “Which do you want?” he asks her, pointing to the wide variety of helix piercing options displayed.
“Um…what do you recommend?” She’s normally much more prepared and would have done a bunch of research on what kind of jewelry would heal best or what type of metal was safest… but again, this decision was kind of made on a whim.
“I always tell clients to start off with a stud, and then if you want you can switch it out for a hoop once the piercing has healed.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” A pretty, butterfly shaped stud catches her eye. “Can I do that one, please?”
He nods. Grabbing his equipment, he decides that y/n is gonna be the last customer of the night, so he flips the sign on the front of the door to read closed, and leads her into the backroom, the same room where he’d pierced Lola’s ears.
“Where’s your daughter?” he asks, turning on the lights. Y/n follows behind him, and sits on the bench that he guides her towards.
“Oh, she’s not mine!”
“She’s not?” Harry had assumed that was her daughter with how close they were and how easily y/n comforted the little girl.
“Lola’s my goddaughter!” she bubbles. “She’s at home with her parents right now. I just got to take her out this week for a little pre-birthday surprise.”
“That’s cute,” he hums. With a pair of black gloves on his hands, he rips open the sanitizing pad and stands in front of y/n. The cool alcohol wipe feels refreshing against her ear, a striking contrast to how flushed her face feels.
Harry’s eyes are dark and stern as he focuses on his job. His knuckles nudge her chin, angling her head in a way so he could clean the backs of her ears too. She’s looking up at him with wide eyes, captivated by his every movement. With how close he’s standing to her, she can feel his breaths against her cheek, see the sparks of gold embedded in his green irises. She can’t help herself from staring at his pretty pink lips, how they pout as he marks the spot he wants to pierce.
Now, usually it makes Harry really uncomfortable when people stare at him while he’s doing their tattoo or giving a piercing. He’d rather they just close their eyes, or stare at the staring, anywhere else but at him! But with her… he doesn’t fully mind it. She’s kind of cute, he has to admit.
He holds up a mirror for her. “Look good?”
She nods. She barely looks into the mirror and doesn’t overthink the placement of it at all. Somehow, she trusts Harry wholeheartedly.
He takes the needle out of its sterile packaging, and y/n eyes it nervously. “Do helix piercings… hurt a lot?” she asks with a timid voice. The sight of a needle coming towards her face has sobered her up quite a bit.
“Not necessarily.” He notices her nervous eyes, “They obviously hurt more than a lobe piercing, since it’s cartilage, but s’only like a pinch.”
She still looks frightened. “Can you, um– count?”
His eyes narrow slightly, and she feels like he’s judging her. But he agrees nonetheless. “Sure. Ready?” She nods her head as best as she can with her ear pinched between his fingers. “3…2…1.” She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a sharp breath as the needle pierces through her cartilage.
She exhales with a shaky breath. “Ow,” her eyes open, stinging with tears.
He looks at her with a furrow in his brow. If she knew him better, she’d know that he’s concerned. But since they’re practically strangers, it just looks like he’s annoyed with her. “Did it hurt?” he asks.
“Little bit,” she mumbles. “I think it’s just the thought of a needle that’s making me a wuss. I’m not good with needles.” She sniffles a bit, but her tears aren’t heavy enough to fall from her lashes.
“Well that was the hard part,” he says, somewhat reassuringly. He follows through with the butterfly shaped stud, and secures it in the back.
He holds the mirror up for her once more, and she gazes at her own reflection in awe. “It’s so pretty,” she whispers. The butterfly glimmers prettily on her ear, the jewels that make up the wings shining under the white lighting. He sanitizes the piercing once more, then takes a step back.
“Make sure you avoid touching the piercing, ‘cos that’ll irritate it and also potentially infect it. Little bit of swelling and redness is fine for the first few days, but if it persists or gets infected then go to the doctors.” He takes his gloves off and throws his trash into the bin, then grabs a bottle of an aftercare solution, “Y’have to wash it 2-3 times a day for the next 3 weeks, then once a day after that. Don’t go swimming or submerge it under water, don’t pick at it or play with the piercing, avoid sleeping on it. And if you think anything is wrong then feel free to come back and we’ll check it out for you, yeah?”
She nods her head diligently. “How long does it take to fully heal?”
“Helix piercings take anywhere from six months to two years to fully heal. The better you take care of it, the better it’ll heal.”
Her eyes widen, “I didn’t know piercings took so much work.”
He eyes her curiously. “What made you decide to get pierced today if you didn’t know anything about it?”
“Oh, I was just… like in a fun mood,” she explains, avoiding the fact that the only reason she’d come in here was because she wanted to see him, the hot tattoo artist she’d been fantasizing about for the past week. “Me and my friends perform at the bar across the street every Thursday night, and we got some drinks afterwards and I just… decided to do it.” She smiles nervously.
“You perform?” he asks.
“Oh, yeah!” she bubbles excitedly. “I mean, I just play the keys, but my friend is a really good singer and it’s a lot of fun. S’right across the street, you should check it out one day!”
He hums. “Maybe one day.”
Y/n didn’t really think much of it when she told Harry to come check out one of their performances. It just kind of… slipped out.
She didn’t think he’d actually show up! In fact, she thought she’d totally fumbled with him! She just got a piercing from him, and that’s it. No phone numbers, no flirting, nothing.
But here he is, sitting at a bar waiting for her as she walks off stage.
“Ruby,” she whispers to the lead singer of their band. “He’s here.”
“Who?” Ruby whispers back, looking around inconspicuously.
“The tattoo artist,” y/n says nervously.
Ruby’s eyes widen. “Where?!” she gasps excitedly.
“Long hair, sitting by the bar with a drink.”
Ruby finds him easily, “Girl… he’s hot.”
Y/n nods. “What do I do?”
“Go talk to him, duh!” Ruby spares another glance towards Harry. “He’s looking at you. Go over there right now, or I’ll do it for you.”
Y/n’s palms sweat and she looks at Ruby helplessly. She’s nervous! But Ruby just raises her eyebrow and gives her a look, one that tells her to suck it up and go flirt with her dream man.
With a deep breath, she walks to the bar, eyes glued to the floor and desperately avoiding Harry’s eyes until she’s right in front of him. “Hi,” she says.
He takes a sip of his drink, some type of golden whiskey sitting in a crystal glass. His eyes glimmer with familiarity. “Hi.”
“You came,” she says, fingers twisting behind her back.
“I did.” He flags the bartender down. “Are you drinking anything?”
“Oh, um… just a strawberry marg.” She smiles to herself– he’s buying her a drink! That must mean something, right? “How much of the show did you see?”
“Just the end. Had to close up shop and all before I came.”
She nods understandingly. “How, um… What did you think?” Her drink arrives and she takes a long, nervous sip.
“It was good. You were great up there.”
Her cheeks grow warm and she hopes Harry can’t tell how happy that small comment made her. “Thanks,” she says with a soft smile.
He takes another sip of his drink, and says nothing more. He’s got an intimidating demeanor, one that makes y/n shrink into herself, and yet she doesn’t want to leave his side. She’s attracted to him, obviously, but also intrigued. His mysterious ways have captured her attention, his quiet personality something y/n wants to unravel.
She coughs dryly, even though her throat doesn’t itch or anything, and awkwardly takes a sip of her drink. She wishes she had something to say to Harry, and wonders if she should just walk away to save herself from this painful silence.
“Y/n!” One of her bandmates, Benji, somehow hears her prayers and wraps his arms around her shoulder. “Killed it on the keys tonight! So groovy babe, you’re amazing.”
“Thanks Benji,” she mumbles, her face heating at the extravagant attention he’s drawn to them. Harry observes her quietly, not even acknowledging Benji’s presence – just watching her. He takes another long, quiet sip of his drink.
“This a friend of yours?” Benji asks, nodding towards Harry. His arms are still wrapped around her shoulders, his hands rubbing up and down her arm warmly. She can feel Harry eyeing the contact.
She clears her throat. “Yeah, this is Harry. He tattoos at the shop across the street.”
“Oh, sick! Nice to meet you man.”
Harry tips his drink in acknowledgement, but still says nothing.
“Listen– me, Ruby, and Char are heading to Nora’s apartment in like, thirty minutes. You wanna come with? You can ride with me.”
Y/n glances at Harry, but he’s looking down at his drink, swirling it softly. The ice clinks in his glass softly, somehow standing out to y/n’s ear despite how loud the bar is. “Um, I’ll let you know, okay? I’ll text.” Benji pats her arm with an affirming nod, and heads back to his table where the rest of their friends are sitting.
“S’that your boyfriend?” Harry says, finally looking up. His brows are furrowed, as usual, and his green eyes stare at her intensely.
“Oh, Benji?” she laughs. “No way. He’s dating Nora.”
He hums. “No boyfriend at all, then?”
She shakes her head softly, “No boyfriend.”
“Good,” he says, setting his glass down. “Would suck if I was trying to hook up with a girl who’s taken.”
“You– what?” Her heart stutters in her chest, and she forgets how to breathe. “You want… with me?”
He sets the drink down and stands from his stool, towering over her. Looking at her with those intense, green eyes, he unabashedly glances down at her lips. “What are you doing after this?”
“Um.” Benji’s invitation flashes through the forefront of her mind. Her eyes flicker between his nervously, looking for any signs that he might be messing with her. He’s dead serious. “Nothing.”
“I live just a little bit away. Do you want to come to mine?”
“To yours? To um– like, you know…” her brain is going haywire and she can’t get a proper sentence out. “Like to… hook up?”
He nods, eyes hard but honest. “Would you want that?”
“Yeah!” She realizes how eager she sounds, and tones it down. “I mean, yes. I’d want that. I would want to go to yours and would like to, um… you know. I would wanna…” She stumbles over her words, struggling to formulate her thoughts into coherent words. She shakes her head and looks at the ground shyly, embarrassed that she can’t get it out.
Harry steps forward, lifts her chin, and gives her a kiss – mostly to shut her up, but also to test the waters, see if the chemistry is there. Her eyes flutter shut, her hands lifting softly with the intention of grabbing onto his arms, but too shy to actually touch him, so they just hang in the air between them. Harry, on the other hand, cups her jaw with the hand that he’d use to tilt her chin upwards, while the other hand rests on her hip. He puckers his lips softly against hers, sucking her bottom lip gently.
His grip on her hip tightens as they kiss, and she relaxes into his touch. The whirlwind of thoughts disappears in the kiss, the anxiety of trying to speak with him and knowing how and where to touch him vanishes in seconds. Her hands finally feel comfortable enough to touch him, resting gently on his chest, fingers grabbing onto his shirt unconsciously. He pulls away with a soft click. When her eyes gently flutter open, glazed over with puppy-like eagerness, he confirms to himself that the chemistry is definitely there.
“Ready to go, then?”
Harry’s apartment is oddly nothing like y/n expected.
From his rugged exterior, you’d think his home would be dark and grungy, like himself. But he lives in a cute apartment, quaint and cozy. The building is in a nice area, with an apparently new lock and intercom system that y/n envies (getting into her building is a hassle – her key always gets stuck and she’s always getting calls from people who want the person in room 316. She lives in 318!). He keys them in with a small fob attached to a key chain, and she follows him through the lobby, up the elevator, down the hallway, and into his apartment.
A sweet little white cat with pretty blue eyes sits in front of the door as they walk in. She meows up at Harry, and tangles herself between his legs, her fluffy tail twirling behind her softly. “You don’t mind cats or anything, do you?” Harry asks.
“No, not at all!”
“This is Dandie,” he murmurs. Harry picks the cat up into his arms, his tattooed arms striking against her delicate white fur. “It’s short for dandelion.”
“How sweet,” y/n coos, stepping forward. She tries to give Dandie a scratch on the head, but the cat flinches her head away, meowing grumpily. Y/n pouts.
“Takes a while for her to warm up to people,” Harry explains. “Don’t take it personally.”
He sets Dandie down, letting her prance away as she pleases while he leads y/n further into his apartment. It’s homey and comfortable, clearly lived in. Harry has dark, espresso colored shelves lined with books and little trinkets, souvenirs and little decorations that you’d find in antique shops. A sage green couch with a chunky knit white blanket draped on top sits in the center of his living room, matching the fluffy white rug that lays under his coffee table. A half full mug of tea sits on a coaster on top of the glass table. It faces the wall with a large television attached to it.
Underneath the television is a short stand that has a record player sitting on top of it– a fancy one, she might add – with built-in shelves that store all of his records. She wanders towards them, straying away from Harry, who’s gone to the kitchen to set out some food for Dandie. There must be a hundred of them, she thinks to herself, most of them old artists that she’s never heard of.
He startles her when he walks back into the room, snapping her out of her curious exploration of his home. “Put some food out so Dandie won’t bother us,” he says. Y/n nods, looking at Harry shyly. She’s not very well-versed in this whole… one night stand stuff, and doesn’t really know what to do, so she stands there nervously as he comes closer. She knows that the whole reason she’s here is to hook up with Harry, but she has no idea how to initiate it. She’s not some sexy vixen who knows how to seduce a man – she’s a nervous and clumsy girl who doesn’t know where to put her hands when she kisses someone!
It’s a miracle that she’s managed to somehow capture Harry’s attention, despite the fact that she constantly stumbles over her words and barely knows how to act around him. He’s just like… scarily intimidating!
Lucky for her, he takes the lead and initiates the contact so that y/n can stop wracking her head over how to relieve the tension between them. He stands in front of her and cups a hand under her jaw, his fingers sliding into her hair. Although his brows are still furrowed, his eyes are somewhat softer as he looks down at her, flickering between her eyes, then down to her lips.
Did you want to put a record on?” He asks, eyes still fixated on her lips.
Her breath hitches in her throat, and her tongue darts out to lick her dry lips. “Can I?” she responds gently.
He gives an affirming hum, his dark eyes darting back up to hers, searching them intently. His pupils have dilated, his bright green irises now a deeper, forest green. “Anything in particular you wanna listen to?”
“Um…” she pulls away from and bends down to the height of the shelf to look at his selection. She sees Billy Joel, The White Stripes, The Cranberries… all music that she never really listens to. Oldies aren’t necessarily her taste, she’s more of a Taylor Swift gal. The only artist she recognizes is Fleetwood Mac, which he has a whole selection of. She plays it safe and goes with a vinyl of their “Top Hits,” delicately removing the record from the shelf and standing up with it.
She’s nervous about setting the record up (it seems like Harry’s a big record guy and she doesn’t want to scratch the vinyl or break the spinner or anything like that), so she gives the record to Harry, who stands closely behind her. With his chest pressed to her back, he wraps his arms around her and takes the vinyl out of her hands, easily taking it out of its case and placing it on the spinner. His soft, warm breaths tickle the back of her neck, and she wonders if she imagined the feeling of his lips skimming her shoulder.
Delicately, he places the needle on the record and it starts spinning, a warm static noise playing before it fades into the strong piano of the first song. His hands now rest on her hips, large and warm and gentle, and this time she knows that she’s not imagining him pressing kisses along her shoulder, and up to her neck. Goosebumps trail down her spine, and she closes her eyes, subtly tilting her head to the side to give him more access. When his kisses reach the base of her neck, he sucks lightly – not enough to leave a permanent mark, but just enough to make her core pulse and the skin there throb.
His hands trail up her sides, twisting her around slowly so that she’s facing him again. She follows him easily, moony eyes staring up at him in anticipation of his next move.
He finally leans in for a kiss. Y/n reciprocates eagerly, leaning up to kiss him back. Her eyes shut delicately, ready to fully relax into the kiss – but he pulls away before she has the chance to fully appreciate the way his lips feel against her.
Her eyes open and she looks up at him with a pout, concerned and a bit scared about why he might’ve pulled away so soon. He grabs her hands, which had been awkwardly hanging by her sides, and wraps them around his shoulders.
She feels much more comfortable this way, relieved that Harry has taken the burden of figuring out what to do with her hands away from her. Then he leans down to kiss her again, and she lets him take control.
His blunt, black painted fingernails scratch softly against her scalp as his fingers curl in her hair, holding her steady so that he can kiss her as he pleases. His other hand holds onto her waist, palm resting over her clothes while his thumb sneaks under her shirt to tenderly tease her warm skin. Her stomach jolts at his light touch. Their lips fold over each other perfectly, linking and unlinking in a slow, sultry, continuous kiss. She doesn’t realize that she’s craning her neck upwards trying to get closer and closer to him as they kiss, or that her fingers are unconsciously gripping onto the back of his shirt.
Harry takes a step forward, never breaking their kiss, inching y/n backwards until she’s pressed against the wall. The hand that had been cradling her jaw slides down her neck, then over her shoulder, then presses against the wall to support his weight as he leans over her. His neck bends downwards to reach y/n’s lips so that she doesn’t have to keep getting up on her tippy toes. With a hand on her lower back, he presses her against him, her back arching so that her stomach is pressed against his firm abdomen.
Although the sexual tension between Harry and y/n had been there since the moment they kissed in the bar, it had been a bit muted. Her anxiety over not embarrassing herself and figuring out how to initiate anything with him had muffled any of her desires, and distracted her from noticing the way Harry was eyeing her hungrily. Now that they’re kissing though, with their bodies pressed together and their hands roaming over each other, the tension is bursting. Y/n feels the heat in her core spreading all over her body, a desperate whimper growing in her chest and spilling out into Harry’s mouth.
Here she was, kissing the hot tattoo artist that she’d been dreaming about all week, with his firm chest pressed against hers, his thick fingers tangled in her hair, and his pretty pink lips on her mouth. It made her head spin with excitement. She’s no longer embarrassed in communicating her eagerness, whimpering and pressing herself into him even more.
Harry untangles his lips from hers and buries his face into her neck, kissing her there. She arches her head backwards, letting it knock against the wall to bare the skin of her throat to him. Her fingers untangle from the back of his shirt, only to tangle into his hair, long curly tendrils that she softly grasps as he kisses and sucks at the thin skin of her throat. Harry’s lips are soft and skilled, suckling gently at her most tender spots and breathing warm air over them to make her shiver. She moans softly, and not so subtly presses her hips into his center.
His hands roam her body, going from holding onto her hips, to grazing her ribs, then back down to skim over her ass. His palms feel warm, burning her skin through her clothes as he grips her thighs and lifts her into the air. With his hand under her thighs, her legs wrapped around his waist, and his hips pressing her into the wall, he somehow effortlessly picked her up.
The firm bulge confined in his black jeans presses deliciously against her soft heat, and she rolls her hips forward. With her fingers tangled in his roots, she guides his face back to hers so that she can start kissing him once more, feel his soft lips slick against hers and his warm breath against her face.
In a spur of the moment decision, Harry tightens his grip on her thighs and pulls her off the wall, carrying her over to the green couch in the center of the room. Laying her down gently, he breaks their kiss to kneel down on the floor next to her. She props herself up on her elbows and stares down at him with lust-blown eyes and swollen lips, breathing heavily as he teases the button of her denim jeans.
“Off?” he asks, and she nods eagerly, letting him unbutton, unzip, and undress her without hesitation. She’s left in her plain underwear, which he also peels off, leaving him face to face with her soft folds. His hands find her knees, and she watches him spread her legs open, her pretty pussy blooming like a spring flower.
Harry bites his lip, eyes unblinking and fixated on her center as he inches closer and closer. When she feels his warm breath against her center, she shudders, a warm rush spreading from her core, all the way up her spine. Her breathing visibility quickens, chest rising and falling noticeably enough for Harry to finally look away from her pussy and flicker his eyes up to her.
“Alright?” he murmurs, warm hands resting soothingly on her thighs. He’s a man of few words, yet he still manages to check in with her.
“Yeah,” she breathes shakily.
Without saying anything else, he leans in and licks a bold stripe up her center. His tongue dips between her folds, spit mixing with the slick that had gathered there since he first kissed her at the bar. She whines and bucks her hips upwards as soon as he makes contact with her, shutting her eyes when he starts to swirl his tongue round her clit. He makes no noise, face stoic save for the furrow in his brow showing his sheer concentration.
Pink lips wrap around her clit, sucking lightly and sending a shock throughout her entire body. When she wriggles around, he holds her hips still, his thick fingers pressing firmly into her plushy skin. Her hand shoots down to grip at the edge of his couch, holding herself steady as quiet whimpers escape her throat. She doesn’t want to embarrass herself by moaning obnoxiously, biting her lips to keep her noises in, but Harry’s making it really hard for her with the way he’s sucking her clit.
When he slides a finger into her pussy, any shame or embarrassment flies out the window. A loud cry escapes her, and she feels herself practically sucking his finger in, eager to finally have something penetrating her. Harry pulls off her clit with a pop and watches his finger disappear into her heat, biting his lip at how warm and tight she feels. He nearly groans out imagining how amazing she’d feel wrapped around his cock.
Slipping another finger in next to the first, he curls his fingers up and searches for that plushy spot on her front wall. Honestly, just having his fingers inside of her is enough to have her squirming, but when he finds her special spot, she feels her fingers go numb and her lip nearly bursts from how hard she bites down on it.
He smiles to himself when she clenches around his fingers, a subtle confirmation that he’d indeed found her g-spot and was rubbing his fingers against it in the right way. And if she’s being honest… that smile alone could’ve made her cum. A self assured, cocky smirk, with a dimple piercing his cheek and a smug glimmer in his eye. It makes her head spin, having someone so attractive sitting between her thighs.
When he leans back down to suck her clit, combined with the feeling of his fingers curling into that plushy spot, a familiar ringing starts in her ears. Before she knows it, she’s cumming around Harry’s fingers, clenching and whining and throwing her head back as pleasure overtakes her body.
It’d been so long since she’d come at the hands of someone other than herself, nevertheless someone as good as Harry. She’d given up on hookup culture and one night stands long ago, opting for her trusty Urban Outfitters vibrator over fake orgasms, and had nearly forgotten how good it felt letting someone else do all the work. How nice it felt to have broad hands skimming over your legs as you cum, or having someone’s lips teasing your skin as you come down from your high.
Her heart beats sporadically as she calms down, regaining her vision and blinking open her eyes to see Harry kissing her inner thighs. His fingers slip out of her pussy gently, slicked in a glossy layer of her cum, which he licks off casually. Y/n nearly cums again just from seeing that.
He pushes himself up from the ground to stand. “Up for more?” he asks, pressing down on the bulge in his jeans. Nodding, she sits up on the couch so that she’s face to face with his cock, and undoes the button of his tight, black jeans. She yanks them down to his knees, revealing a pair of black Calvin Kleins, and a large tiger tattoo on his thigh. Momentarily, she gets distracted, tracing the sharp inked teeth of the tiger, feeling the firm muscle of his thigh. But then he palms himself through his briefs, and she remembers the mission she’s on.
Pulling those down as well, his cock bobs up in front of her face, pink and ruddy tip hypnotizing her as it sways up and down, finally free of its confines. She’s ready to return the favor, licking her lips and eager to get her lips around his cock – not only because she feels obligated to suck him off since he ate her out, but also because his cock is pretty. It’s thick and hard, with veins running up the sides, and he looks clean and well groomed. Her mouth waters, and she wants him in her mouth. But, before she can even lick the tip, he wraps his own fist around it, tilting it away from her mouth.
Her eyes flicker up from his cock to his face, an upset furrow in her brow, but Harry disregards it. “How do you want it?” he asks instead, too impatient to get sucked off. He’s been dreaming of her warm cunt ever since she came around his fingers.
She says nothing, instead grabbing his hips and pulling him down to sit next to her on the couch. His cock bobs heavily between the two of them as she straddles him, her knees encasing his thick, muscled thighs. “Um… do you– condom?” she asks breathlessly. He wriggles a hand into the back pocket of his pants, which hang around his knees carelessly, and pops a trojan out.
Ripping the foil with his teeth, he sheaths it onto his cock in less than a minute. Y/n lifts herself up on her knees, lines him up with her pussy, and sinks down gently. With her on top, she sets a slow, easy pace for herself, taking her time as she presses down. He fills her up, inch by inch, stretching her to the brim, and she loves it.
Harry spreads his arms on the back of the couch, casually watching as she lowers himself on his cock. She’s warm and wet and so fucking tight… he throws his head back in ecstacy, relieved to finally have his cock snugly inside of her. Her hands reach backwards to hold onto his knees, lifting herself up and down, angling in a way so that his cockhead rubs against her g-spot everytime she grinds down.
With his lip between his teeth, his bright green eyes stare as she starts bouncing faster. He reaches a hand out to hold onto her hip, his palm smoothing over her soft skin and guiding her as she lifts herself on his cock. He makes no noises, but he breathes deeply through his nose and watches her with lust-blown pupils, eyelids heavy as if he were drunk.
Y/n on the other hand, whimpers with every swivel of her hips, cheeks flushed and chest bursting. She’s doing her damn best but being on top is hard! The burning in her thighs is lowkey making her regret climbing onto his lap instead of letting him have his way with her, but just as she’s about to start cramping up, Harry’s other hand leaves the couch to grip her hip. With both hands burning on her hipbones, he helps her bounce up and down on his cock.
She relaxes now, his strong hands helping her immensely and letting her start focusing on the burning orgasm bubbling in the pit of her stomach. She falls forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing her chest against his, whining into his ear when his cockhead kisses her g-spot each time he pulls her down. He grunts quietly when her fingernails dig into the muscles of his shoulders, and whispers a quiet praise in her ear.
“Yeah, that’s good,” he murmurs with a low voice – that sends her over the edge. She clenches around his thick length, squeezing her thighs tightly around his hips as she lets out a choked moan, a quiet ohmygod escaping her through her orgasm.
She flutters around his cock the same way she’d done around his fingers and his vision goes white, throwing his head back on the couch and letting his eyes blink shut in bliss. A lazy smile overtakes his face as her pussy milks his cock, and he releases in long warm spurts into the condom.
She breathes heavily in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck and holding on for dear life, while Harry sits there casually, blissed out and fully content. His hands rub over the skin of her bare thighs gently, thumbs tracing soft circles as her shaky breaths start to even out. She pulls her face out of his neck, and looks down at him with blown out eyes and hot cheeks.
“Good?” he asks with a cocky smirk, the cutest dimple in his cheek.
She nods breathlessly, fluttering her eyes unbelievingly. “Wow,” is all she can say. Harry chuckles cutely.
He’s still fitted snugly inside of her, so she lifts herself off his cock, hissing at the feeling of being empty after he filled her up so well. Harry takes the sloppy condom off of his prick and ties it off, standing up when y/n shuffles off of his lap to throw it out in the kitchen.
When he walks back in, cock bare and swinging about, y/n is getting herself dressed and ready to go. If there’s anything she hates more than the awkwardness that comes before hooking up with someone for the first time, it’s the awkwardness that comes after you actually have sex. She always felt insecure, extra vulnerable, and a little bit nervous… and she never knew what to do with herself. So even though she could really go for a cuddle or something right now, she gets herself dressed and ready to head home. That’s what you do after a one night stand, right?
Harry seems a lot more… relaxed than she’d expected, though. She was worried he’d be rushing her out of his house, ordering her a taxi and getting dressed as soon as they were done. But no, he casually slides his black Calvin Kleins up his legs, kicking his black jeans onto the floor with no second thought. He sits himself on the couch, and opens up a water bottle.
“Brought you some water,” he says casually, nodding towards the bottle he’d brought from the kitchen after he’d thrown the condom out.
“...thanks,” she says, picking up the water and cautiously sitting back down next to him. She cracks the seal open and takes a small sip. Harry chugs half the bottle down, then throws it onto the coffee table.
“Whereabouts do you live?” he then asks, throwing an arm on the back of the couch.
“Um… about 10 minutes from the tattoo shop. East side of town, in the apartment complex near the port.”
“Oh so you’re not too far,” he murmurs thoughtfully, and she shakes her head in confirmation. “That’s perfect.” He searches around himself for a minute before he finds his phone, face down on the side table, and passes it to y/n. “Why don’t you put your number in then, and we can do this again?”
She grabs his phone a bit dazed, “you wanna hook up again?”
“Err, yeah?” he says dumbly. “Only if you want to, though.”
Her heart flutters giddily – so this wasn’t goodbye! She’s really winning the jackpot, and she wonders what she’s done to get this much good karma. First she got to hook up with the hot tattoo artist, and now he wants to turn it into a fling? “Yeah… yeah sounds good.”
PART TWO IS OUT ON PATREON!!!!! THANK U FOR READING!!!
Amore, how do you think Y/N would react to those pics of harry and olivia's yacht? Even though I agreed to the stunt at first, I think I would go crazy and want to kill harry after seeing those pictures all over the place
Oh see would be pissed...
Warning- Angst, argument, accusation of cheating, crying, swearing, mention of pandemic, Olivia Wilde, Grammatical errors, fluff.
Not proof read sorry.
Normally Y/N was a very chill person considering she was a teacher dealing with kids everyday she had a lot of patience.
But everyone has their limits and hers has been running thin for a while. You see it started when Harry got the role of Jack Chambers in movie Don't worry darling. He was happy, excited and so were you, it was a challenging role and that's why he loved it.
The filming started but due to the pandemic it shut down. It was the time when y/n and Flo became good friends. Both of them would cook, bake and try all type of different recipes together and sometimes even Harry would join.
Then the film resumed in few weeks, everyone tested and safe. She always had to keep an eye on the director though, it wasn't first soemone tried to flirt with him. Her boyfriend was the most beautiful man ever and that came with it's disadvantages.
Movie already had enough publicity by having Harry. His fans were going crazy about the role and set pictures.
She knew what the role was and how the plot went, well the originial one ofcourse cause as the filming went you started to see changes. The oh so lovely director decided to add herself in the movie which wasn't in the plot first but what's for you? It was her movie and it wasn't hurting Harry so you let it be.
But then one day the meeting and boy oh boy she wished she never went to that meeting.
You thought it was typical pr meeting called by Olivia and Jeff and to some extent it was but then.
"I think we should make a pr relationship" Mark, Olivia's manager said. Both you and Harry were confused cause Flo was engaged and Harry was in relationship with Y/N so who was it going to be?
"We have discussed it and came up with Harry and Olivia to get into a relationship" Jeff said looking at Harry. It felt like Y/N wasn't even there by the way he was talking.
"She's married Jeff what the fuck?" Harry said angrily.
"We are getting divorced and separated for a month" Olivia shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.
"Doesn't matter. I already have a girlfriend" Harry said as a matter of fact trying to end that conversation right there.
First time since she went there Jeff looked at her, with annoyed expression. Rolling his eyes he sat up straight.
"Harry it will be good for the movie. Your fans love to talk and this will give them reason to talk, beautiful and older. It wilk eat it up" Jeff tried to convince Harry, "Also it wasn't like they know about Y/N anyway" He sat back.
And that was enough for her to run out of the room.
She thought maybe Harry would disagree but no, he agreed. Telling her it was just for show and when the movie is done he will tell everyone about them.
Now here she was months later sitting on their couch going through her private instagram when she saw the pics. Pics of them holding each other a lot closer than she would have liked but that was nothing compared to seeing him kissing her on yacht, the same one they went on the date.
When Harry told Y/N he was going to Italy to record she didn't think she would be there too.
Y/N felt like went through all the stages of and got stuck at Anger. She rarely got angry and mostly calmed herself down but that was unacceptable. She was seething as angry fat tears rolled down her face.
The door to the house opened Harry entering with big smile, hands filled with bags his put down near the door and took off his jacket. "Baby I'm home" He said walking inside only for his smile to disappear and get replaced with concerned frown.
You were sitting on couch, legs to your chest supporting your head as you cried. You lips were bitting red almost on brink of bleeding.
"Baby what happened" He quickly rushed to you sitting down in front of you. He brought his hand up to look at you and check if you have hurted yourself but you fliched and sat back.
Millions of thoughts went through Y/N's in between of Harry getting home and her finding the pictures and seeing him in front of her with concered sad eyes felt like a sick joke.
"Get off" she sat up putting her feet on floor. Harry stood up and sat in the loveseat. His brain realizing what had happened.
"You saw it" he mumbled quietly as if confessing crime.
"Ofcourse I saw it asshole. Was it not what you wanted?" Y/N screamed angrily. She stood up pacing around the room back and forth while Harry sat there like a child getting yelled.
He was feeling guilty a lot guilty. She trusted him with her everything and he broke it and now the love of his life was crying in front of him because of him.
"Baby Jeff said-" "I can't give a flying fuck about what Jeff said. Jeff is not my boyfriend you are" Y/N cut him off. Harry was stunned seeing her curse like that. He never saw you get mad so this was certainly new.
"If you wanted her you should have told me sooner Harry. I would have left, it would have broken my heart but you didn't have to cheat on me and break my trust" She stood there sobbing, her whole body felt weak, she felt like she would faint.
Harry's eyes widened when he realized you weren't mad about pics but you thought he cheated. Oh he was fucked.
"Oh no no. Baby I swear I didn't cheat" Harry quickly ran up to you and sat you down on the couch as you looked weak. He held you close as you sobbed on his tshirt.
"I wod never omg please don't think that" Harry held her tighter as if it woumd convince her.
Y/N felt relief of sort knowing he didn't cheat but still the whole in her heart wasn't filled. She was aching, her whole body, her heart. She was tired of giving, giving and giving there wasn't anything left to give now.
"Harry" She called.
"Yeah babe" He kissed her forehead making her shudder.
"I love you" she looked up at him with wet eyelashes. He smiled softly holding her face watching her melt into him.
"I love you too baby" He said pressing his forehead against his.
"But I can't do this" she said pulling away. Harry looked at her confused but also knowing where this was going.
"I can't see another photos of her with you or anyone as matter of fact. I can't be okay with sharing who I love with someone else" she stood up. Y/N wiped the tears off her face knowing her makeup was probably ruined.
"No no Y/N baby please" Harry begged, "It's just few months the contract will end and then there will be no one else but you and me" He held onto her legs, his face digging into her stomach.
She looked up to control her tears but to no avail. She ran her fingers through his hair and then pushed him back. His eyes were matching hers, red, puffy and filled with tears.
"Please" Harry whispered.
And with that she left.
7 hours later
Harry spent most time crying on the couch where she left him. Holding onto himself, he cried his beart out knowing he was the reason she left.
Then he spent half hour breaking most things and punching hole in wall.
And when the sun went down along with his mood and adrenaline he sat on the kitchen island and drank away his misery.
6 hours later
Harry woke up feeling his body stiff and his head pounding. Be was sleeping on a hard surface that sure wasn't his comfortable bed. Opening his eyes was hard as the lights from windows were hurting his eyes.
"Y/N" He groaned, "Baby please close the drapes" He tried to roll over on his stomach only to fall down on floor. He groaned in pain and sat up slowly. That's when he realized he fell asleep in the kitchen last night with bottle scattered everywhere and the reason he was there was cause of you have left him.
He heard his phone ringing and he groaned not wanting to talk to anyone.
He picked his phone which was on tiled floor beside him. There were multiple miss calls and messages.
15 missed calls from Mum.
5 missed calls from Jeff.
1 missed call from Olivia Wilde.
But none from you. He opened his message thinking you might have texted him but no nothing. Only a single text from Olivia.
Want to go to coffee? I saw a nice cafe near your house :)
He felt like he was going to be sick and he did. He stood up quickly and threw up in kitchen sink. He cleaned his mouth and decied to call his mum.
"Harry Edward Styles" Anne yelled from the other side, "I was worried about you!"
"Mum" He croaked out, "I fucked up"
3 hours later
Y/N was miserable to say the least. Harry was love of her life and now she had lost him just cause she was selfish.
But that wasn't true wanting partner all to herself wasn't selfish so she threw that thought away.
She was at a hotel drowning herself in wine and pity. She was just ending second season of AHS when there was a knock on her door. She did order pizza so she stood up on her wobbly feet and covered herself as much as could in a gown as she didn't have anything to sleep in and opened the door.
"Thanks for this I was dying starving" She chuckled. She looked up and saw the green eyes and that died down.
"What are you doing here?" She asked crossing her arms on her chest.
"Want to talk" He said softly, "Please" He insisted.
Y/N sighed too weak for him and his puppy eyes. She stood aside and let him in locking the door behind.
"These are for you" Harry said giving her favorite blue hydrangeas flower to her. She smiled taking the flowers from him and putting them down on table.
"How did you know I was here?" She finally asked.
"You used our joint account card while paying for this" He shrugged shifting awkwardly. She palmed herself in head for her stupidity.
"That's beside the point baby I just want to say sorry" He said moving closer to her. Y/N looked up seeing sincerity in his eyes.
"I called to Jeff and told him the contract was off, I don't care if they kick me out of movie I just want you with me. Please, I can live without that stupid movie but you, a few hours without you felt like hell" He said. Y/N was bitting her lips so she wouldn't cry cause she didn't want Harry to lose this film he worked hard.
"Harry I-" Sh goes to talk but Harry juat holds her and shakes his head.
"I know but I just want to know that I want you and if you will have my stupid ass back, I assure you I will try not to do something idiotic and hurt you" He pleaded, he was desperate if that point she asked him to get on his knees and beg he would.
"But if you don't want to that's fine. I will not bother you again" He goes to pull from her but she doesn't let him.
"First of all don't even speak over me when I'm trying to speak" she said cocking her hesd to the side, "And second, you're an idiot. A stupid dumbass." Harry forwns at her words.
"But you're my dumbass and I love you a lot so you're lucky" Y/N completes her sentence with smile.
He picks her up pushing his lips on hers, kissing her like a thirsty man finding water in desert. Their lips moved in sync, he ushered her to wrap her legs around him. After a while they pulled apart, heaving for air. Their lips glossy, swollen, stretched in widest smile.
"Might have to make up a bit more though" Y/n said pecking his lips. She squealed as he threw her on the bed.
"Oh I will do the making up just fine"
Let me know what you think. If you want to request more or talk to me do it here♡
“No one smells as divine as you do.” His nose buried in the crook of her neck, Y/N laid on his bed with her fingers gently combing through his hair. It was hard to be a prince. Y/N knew just as well as anyone, being on the palace property, that he had a lot of work to do and a lot of appearances to keep. Especially considering she was his chosen confidant.
“Thank you, my prince.” Her breathy voice was soft, a smile lighting her face as she felt him grumble and nibble on her skin.
“Harry or Alpha in this room.”
His pout could be felt when he released her flesh from his skin. “I am not a prince here. I am but a simple Alpha, laying with his dream omega.” The words were bittersweet. So sweet because she loved that out of all th omegas, all the people in the kingdom and the faraway lands he had travelled, she was his dream. Bitter because she could not have him. That one day, he would be betrothed to an omega of nobility. They usually avoided that topic unless it was to praise her.
“I apologize, Alpha.” She sweetened her tone, ignoring the twinge of pain she knew his heart matched. “I know you’ve had a hard day. It saddens me that you are put under such burdens.” Her voice was a vibration against him, making him relax further into her plushy body. Warm, soft, beautiful. Harry adored each and every inch. Every touch made him light up, melt, be in a puddle of the things he had been in need of and no one else could provide.
“No apologies.” He mumbled, puckering his lips on her bare skin, travellling down. “Having you nude in my chambers at the end of the day is enough of a blessing for me to overlook it. My beautiful gift.” His body was also nude, strong and unblemished besides the ink on his skin and the little scars on his knuckles from sparring, and the one on his knee from falling from a tree when he was but a pup. It had been the last time he had done so, as his father had deemed him too old for pup like behaviors- He was only 7 years at that point.
“Of course.” She replied, body arching into his touch. Y/N had felt like his since they’d met. She had begun her work at the palace when he had been on a voyage to a faraway kingdom. It was fine work, they were treated and paid fairly, and it was calm besides the balls and the pre planned dinner parties. It had been 2 months of calm, destroyed by green eyes and a killer smirk when he arrived back home.
Harry had personally requested Y/N to be his maid. His personal one. She had looked so tired at his arrival ball, so beautiful, smelling so sweet.. he felt it to be criminal to let an omega like that be worked to the bone when she could tend to him and his needs. There weren’t too many. She stoked his fire when he lit one, prepared his ritual baths, folded and set out his clothes… and soon enough, warmed his bed.
It was no secret. It could not be. His scent overpowered her own, but the royals did not care so long as she kept up with her duties and harry, his. It wasn’t uncommon for royal men to sample the offerings, and Y/N had been more than willing. They had a lovely connection and she had been able to keep the prince’s temper in control. There was also the fact that she and harry spent so much time around one another that their rut and heat corresponded, making it perfect to keep them together out of convenience. Harry need not take on any omega for his rut that they would need to check the background of, no need to question the motives. She was a benefit to the crown, so long as she knew her place. Y/N didn’t speak out of turn around other royals, aware of the position and blessing it seemed to be. They had made it abundantly clear that Harry was to marry a royal omega and she would go back to her other duties or be moved when that time came.
“You are safe now. This room is for us to relax and enjoy one another.” Harry spoke against warm skin, moving between her breasts and rubbing his face in between them. Scenting her, coating her in the second best claim he could give. “I had a hard day, but it is time for us now, sweet girl.” His lips puckered to kiss right between her breasts, slowly making his way down to her stomach. This was their fantasy world. The lock was bolted, no one could disturb their peace but themselves, and Y/N was not one to interrupt the prince when he began to drift into their dream life.
It was foolish, perhaps, to pretend to be mates in the safety net of this room. Foolish and destined for heartbreak, but when he kissed her stomach and mumbled about giving her a child in there, the rest of the world melted away and she allowed herself to imagine it. To imagine a piece of him inside of her.
When he made his way up and locked their lips, her legs spread open for him, awaiting what she knew they’d both needed after a long day. His lips swallowed her broken moan as he pushed into her, filling her to the brim as he smoothed her hair back from her cheek. The connection between their bodies, the pulsing of his thick cock filling her up comforted her. This was them. Naked and connected, relaxing in the most intimate way possible.
“I need it.” Pleas were soft against his lips, hands smoothing down his muscled back as she wrapped her legs around his hips. “Alpha.. please.” Her swollen lips from his hour of kissing beforehand and her silky skin from their shared bath felt like heaven against the alpha’s body. This was what he always craved. Her honeyed scent and her sweet cunt wrapped around him while she pleaded for him. Someone who adored him and he adored in ways that were unfathomable to him. She had a faith and an adoration for him that he had always dreamt of. No one could ever be better for him than this omega. This dream woman.
“I’ll give you whatever it is you want. My light.” He rasped against her lips, pushing as deep as possible and simply letting them enjoy the connection. The slick around his cock, the need to spill into her, her fluttering around him and trying to keep him in this deep position. “I know you’re craving a knot. I’ll give it to you, little angel of mine.” He rubbed their noses together, pulling out slowly and letting her feel every bump and ridge while he did the same thing. He pressed his lips back against hers to absorb her whine, growling back against her mouth while he repeated his actions and pushed in slow and steady. Her hole adjusted to him, sucking him back in greedily. Like she was made for him, pulling him in with her heels on the curve of his ass.
“So full. You fill me perfectly, Harry.” She looked at him with wet eyes, the stretch and the fullness making her tear up. No one else could ever or would ever make her feel this complete. “I don’t want anything but your cock inside of me. It’s made to fill me and I’m made for your knot. I need it so badly I ache.” She cupped his cheek. “Please, please. Pleasure yourself too. I’ve been dreaming of it all day long.”
Harry couldn’t say no to her. Never could tell her no when she made him feel as if he was floating despite the weights on his shoulders. Made him defy gravity when everyone else was trying to keep him buried in the earth. Y/N built him up.
“I’ve dreamt of you all day long. Having your scent on me isn’t enough.” He grumbled, angling his hips a bit further out to give it to her deeper. The reward was instant, tightening up around him and her keening whine as fingers dug into the flesh of his back. “Need you wrapped around my cock all day. Need you in my lap, smell you from the source as I work. I’m going mad. I want to bite your neck and keep you attached to my knot. Perfect omega f’me.”
Y/N keened as she felt the satisfying filling of him. In and out, filling her to the brim each time. Sparks ignited behind her eyes as he pushed her to her limits, reaching spots only he ever could. She had tried to replicate it with her fingers but nothing could compare. No one got her this wet, slicking up the length so much there was a threat to slip out each time he pulled back enough to fully thrust back in. Something Harry moaned about.
“Dripping cunt, so soft for me. I want to stay here.” He melted into her neck, nipping at the skin. His teeth ached, he wanted to bite so badly it made him whine- but he couldn’t. Not without consequences, consequences that would be worse for her than him and he loved her far too much than to make that hell happen for her. “I want to stay right here. My heaven.”
Maybe being a friend of Gemma or Glenne’s and they invite you to their party where you meet Harry and immediately click and spend the rest of the night chatting in the corner sipping on cocktails
Ok so this became something I didn’t expect anon this was a great idea 🥰❤️:
“Glenne I don’t know , I won’t know anyone else at the party and you know I’m not much of a drinker”. You huff to your best friend on the phone as she once again insists you come to one of her famous backyard summer parties.
“ we’ll that’s a lie you know Jeff”
“ you know what I mean”
“ just have a couple of glasses of wine before you arrive and I’ll see you Friday!” And before you can even begin to protest she’s hung up the phone and your left panicking as you’ve clearly no other choice but to go to the party.
Glenne and you have been friends for years , you met at university when she sat herself next to you during orientation and confidently introduced herself. She’s always been the more outgoing of the two of you, easily strikes up conversations with strangers while your more happy at home with a good book and a glass of wine. Sometimes you were envious at how easy Glenne was around people, wishing you could easily talk to people with out having mild chest palpations and not having to excuse yourself at the first opportunity available to compose yourself.
During your last therapy appointment you mentioned that you wanted to gain more confidence being around new people and somewhat put yourself out there which is now how you’ve found yourself staring in the mirror , giving yourself a little pep talk that you can do this and that you will enjoy yourself, maybe it’s the three large glasses of Pinot you’ve had but you reckon you’ve got this…
“ There she is “…. Glenne practically shouts across the patio, “ I knew you would come , I’m so glad you’re here babe “. Hugging you so tight you nearly drop the two bottles of rosè you brought to the gathering.
“ this looks nice , I eh didn’t realise there would be so many people , you said it was a small gathering” you whisper to her and suddenly that wine induced confidence seems to have disappeared.
“ oh you know me , just a few friends” she’s laughs “ hey Jeff get Y/N a drink “.
“ since when did I become a bartender Glenne” he rolls his eyes with no malice behind them.
Glenne and Jeff are what you could only describe as couple goals , always so happy in each other’s company with a teasing banter that you could only dream off. If your honest seeing them together makes you crave what they have, a loving relationship but your shyness always gets in the way and on many a lonely night leaves you wondering if you’ll ever meet someone.
You’re sat next to Glenne and some other girls you’ve met before , trying to include yourself as much as you can in the conversation, laughing when they do and drinking your wine much quicker than you probably should.
“ he keeps staring at you”
“ who?” You ask before taking another gulp of your wine.
“ Harry , he hasn’t taken his eyes of you all night, surely you’ve noticed?”.
Agh yes Harry , the tall handsome British fella who Jeff manages, with the greenest eyes you’ve ever seen and brown curls you have only imagined would be incredible to grab on to….. but why would he be starting at you? Glenne must be drunk because there’s no way Harry styles has been making eyes at you all night.
“Cmon , let me introduce you”.
“ absolutely not , Glenne please sit down”
“ I thought you wanted to get yourself out there? Meet someone ? He’s been looking at you all night. Just talk to him”.
“ right just talk to him, of course why didn’t I think of that?” You say sarcastically “ I can’t talk to the barista who makes my coffee in the morning without stumbling over my words and you expect me to saunter up to Harry fucking styles and flirt with him”.
“ that’s the spirit!” And before you have time to think she’s dragging you across the garden calling out to Harry and Jeff and quite frankly you’ve never wanted the ground to swallow you more.
“ Harry you better not be getting Jeff drunk, remember last time ? I don’t want him jumping in the pool again trying to recreate the scene from dirty dancing with you again” she laughs still holding your increasingly sweaty hand.
“ don’t get all jealous now Glenne , you and I both know I’m Jeffs favourite”. Harry chuckles and in that moment you think you’ve found your new favourite sound. Has he always been this attractive ? You’ve admired him from a distance but now your up close he’s way more attractive than you imagined, he’s looking at you and suddenly your very aware that your just standing there , heart in your throat and the driest mouth you’ve ever had.
“ I’m Harry by the way , as it seems nobody was gonna introduce us “ he laughs but you’re just standing there brain not engaging with mouth , knees shaking before Glenne nudges you with her shoulder.
“ y- y/n” you manage to get out only one decibel above a whisper.
“ it’s nice to finally meet you Y/N , I’ve heard a lot about you , it’s nice to finally put a face to the name”
He knows about you ? Harry styles knows about you, how is this happening ? Why don’t you have a drink right now ? How have Jeff and Glenne suddenly disappeared?
“ oh that’s funny they’ve never mentioned you before” did you just make a joke ? Are your flirting with Harry styles ? He’s laughing, oh god is he laughing at me or did he find my joke funny.
“ why am I not surprised “ rolling his eyes with an annoyance you know is fake .
“ would you like to get a drink-“
“ yes” why did you answer so quickly? Play it cool play it cool .
“ I’ve been told I make a good margarita, I mean there’s not much margarita mix involved it’s mainly just tequila but I’ve not had any complaints”
Four “ margaritas” later and you’ve found yourself chatting effortlessly to Harry, he’s nothing like you expected. He’s interesting and funny , he’s making you laugh that unattractive laugh that you normally try to hide. Your answering his questions confidently and asking them back. To anyone looking at you , you appear this confident woman shamelessly flirting with an attractive man and for once you feel confident . Is it Harry? Or the tequila you’ve been necking ? You’re not sure but you like him and you like how me makes you feel .
“ so I em , was wondering if I could maybe get your number ? “ he’s asks shyly , a blush creeping up in his cheeks. “ I’ve had a really great time with you and would like to see you again if you wanted ?”
“ only if it includes margaritas “
When you finally get into bed that night , beaming at what the nights events led to you hear two dings from your phone :
Harry : I had a really good time tonight , thanks again. Sweet dreams and I’ll see you Sunday x
Glenne : you sneaky bitch!!!!! FaceTime me tomorrow 🔪🔪 love you x
summary: harry reflects on a relationship that's long over
Candles burnt down to the floor, wearing less than you were before, shoes sitting by the door, never put them on. We would stay in the house for days, spilling breakfast on pillowcases, your stuff don’t taste the same, now that you’re gone.
Harry sat alone in his kitchen, his fingers clasped around a pale blue mug. The lip was chipped and the paint had visible streaks on it. It stood out against the rest of his collection of pristine, white and navy blue mugs, but his hand always reached for the same one that he should’ve thrown out by now.
The high-pitched shriek of the kettle startled him away from his thoughts, though he wasn’t thinking so much as staring blankly at the pair of little initials and the date scribbled on the bottom of the mug.
He prepped his tea, his movements mechanical as he relied on muscle memory to guide him through his kitchen. When he finally slumped back into his seat at the kitchen table, he looked around. He used to think the table would one day be surrounded by high chairs and littered with sippy cups and homemade placemats. The fantasy was so clear in his head it felt real.
Now he felt nothing.
Harry took a sip from the mug and grimaced. He didn’t know why he still had this flavor of tea, he’d always preferred something more floral. But he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. She always insisted on having a box of it in the house at all times. Harry always secretly hated it, but now he was drinking her tea from her favorite mug.
Each sip brought back a new memory; puzzle pieces fell into place until four years worth of a relationship laid itself out in front of him.
“Don’t go yet,” he said.
The morning air prickled his bare shoulders, but he didn’t bother with clothes. He hoped they wouldn’t be necessary in the next few minutes.
“‘Don’t go?’” she repeated. “I haven’t been home in three days.”
The last few days replayed in his mind like an achingly sweet summer melody.
Harry had always loved the beginning of a relationship. The giddy uncertainty, the easily flushed cheeks, butterflies that thrived all the time in lovesick bellies. He never thought anything could beat the initial euphoria of a budding romance. It was a practically perfect feeling.
“I want to make breakfast for you,” he said, not realizing the words were true until they were out of his mouth.
Her movements stilled. She’d been slowly slipping back into her clothes, had just been about to put on her shoes, when Harry made his offer. With one boot dangling from her hand, she seemed to consider her options.
“It’s not gonna be, like, beans on toast or anything like that, is it? I can fake a lot, but I don’t know if I can fake enjoy eating that.”
Laughing at her admission, Harry shook his head. “No, I will not make you eat beans on—Wait a minute.Did you fake anything the last three days?”
Her responding grin was coy. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“You Americans are so brutal,” he said, clutching his chest as if he’d been wounded. “But now that you’ve said that, I simply cannot let you leave. I must rectify any ill performances on my part.”
He wasn’t actually upset by her teasing. He liked to think he was humble, but he also knew if he hadn’t been anything less than satisfactory, she wouldn’t have stayed at his place for three days.
Harry watched as the boot slipped from her fingers and hit the floor with a soft thud. His grin widened when she came over to him and straddled his waist on the bed. Her kiss was soft and sweet, the kind of kiss that wasn’t rushed or feverish because they had plenty of time. It was the kind of kiss that gave him a feeling he wanted to chase for the rest of his life.
Carefully, he flipped her over so that she was on her back. With one last peck to her lips, he said, “Now make yourself again and I’ll bring breakfast up for the two of us to share.”
“You want to eat up here?” she asked him. “We’re gonna get food all over your million threadcount, hand woven, personally delivered Egyptian sheets and pillowcases.”
Since seeing and feeling his bed for the first time, she gawked at how cloud-like it felt and had teased him mercilessly when he rattled off a brand name and description that sounded about as expensive as the bed probably was. Harry put up with it, had found it funny, even. Her laugh was music to his ears and her smile was even moreso. She was beautiful in every possible way, and he wanted to keep her in his bed for as long as she would let him.
Sliding out of bed, Harry put on a pair of briefs and a robe before going to make breakfast. Something quick and easy. Not because he couldn’t do anything else, he just didn’t want to be away from her for so long.
Harry had never felt like that before. There was this indescribable insatiability he developed when they met. He simply couldn’t get enough of her.
Thinking back to the first few stanzas of their epic, Harry waited for butterflies to flutter so much it made his head spin. But they didn’t come. The flame on their candle had burned out a long time ago. Now all he felt was the harsh reality of her absence.
I guess I’m prone to overthinking. One thing goes wrong and I can’t adjust. I’ve lost the taste for the good in us, and I’m sorry.
“So, Harry, tell me how you’ve been.”
Harry shrugged, looking down at the scuff marks on his shoes. “Fine, I guess.”
“I’m gonna need you to do a little better than that, Harry.”
He didn’t really have anything to give, though, so he just shrugged again.The woman sighed, and though he wasn’t looking at her, Harry imagined his therapist taking off her glasses to rub the lenses with her sweater.
He’d been seeing her on and off for the last few years, so they knew each other quite well, which did not work in Harry’s favor at the moment. She could tell he was hiding something, and she was patient enough to wait him out until he eventually told her what was on his mind.
But they only had an hour, and he could use a little push in the right direction.
“You’ve been thinking about her again.”
He shrugged again. “A little.”
“What about her?” she asked.
Confused, Harry looked up for the first time since the session started. “What do you mean?”
“Are you thinking about just her as a person? Oe the beginning of the relationship? The end?”
Harry’s foot began bouncing rapidly. “The end, I guess. Why it ended.”
“And why do you think it ended?” she asked him gently.
“I let my fears get the best of me, of us, I suppose.”
“So you get to live your dream, but I can’t live mine?”
“That’s not what I’m saying! I’m just asking you if you really thought about this. Japan is a big deal.”
“Have I really thought about this? This is what I’ve been waiting my whole career for! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it sounds like you want me to turn it down.”
She was a journalist, trying to make her way in the fashion industry. When Harry met her, she was taking some no-name publication and rebuilding it from the ground up. She made it trendy and worth reading, and was praised for her work. But when an offer to be a head editor at Vogue Japan was made to her, she couldn’t believe how well her hard work paid off.
And all Harry could do was ask if this was really what she wanted.
“Come on tour with me,” he said desperately. “We can be together and you’ll get experience—”
The emotions on her face switched from frustration to disbelief to anger when he made that suggestion. “That’s your solution? Giving me a handout?” “No, of course not! I just want us to be together. Is that such a bad thing?”
“I—I can’t believe this. I thought you would be happy for me.”
I am, darling. Please, I only meant—”
“I need some air,” she said suddenly.
Grabbing her keys off the counter, she left, not saying if or when she’d be back.
“But that’s not when you broke up, is it?” his therapist asked him. She’d heard bits and pieces of Harry’s relationship in previous sessions, but not enough to paint a full picture.
“No, but that was the beginning of the end. She took the job and moved, and I convinced myself I couldn’t do long distance. We’d done it when I went on tour and she had to stay behind and work, but this was different. More permanent.”
“And what about her? Could she handle the long distance?”
“She was willing to try.”
His therapist didn’t say anything for a while, considering her next questions and waiting to see if Harry would offer up anything else. He didn’t.
“How do you think you would respond now, if you were in that position again?”
“Wh—Why are you asking me that? It’s over. She hates me now.”
“Do you really think that?”
He wasn’t ready to answer that question. He didn’t want to consider the gut-wrenching possibility that she hated him. So he did what he’d been doing in these sessions lately. He didn’t answer the question. Instead, he answered her original question.
“I would fight for us,” he said. “I would do everything I could to make it work.”
Not mentioning how he ignored her other question, the therapist said, “So you still love her then.”
Harry hung his head and mustered a small nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I still love her.”
We had a hunger then, only each other then. Couldn’t get enough when we started. Always a hunger then, now it’s just emptiness. We were in love, we were starving. We had a hunger then.
Harry’s heart pounded as he gripped the mic stand. He’d played shows in stadiums packed with tens of thousands of people, he’d stood in front of a room full of the world’s most beloved artists to accept awards, and he performed at the Grammy’s. How was this performance more nerve-wracking than any of that?
He was at a friend’s wedding, and a few months back, the bride and groom asked if Harry would sing the song for their first dance. He’d said yes, but now that the time had come, his palms began to sweat in a way they hadn’t since his early One Direction days.
“And now, please give a round of applause for the bride and groom!”
That was his cue. Curtains drew back, revealing Harry to the rest of the wedding guests. He’d been there for the ceremony, but his performance remained a secret until now.
His eyes immediately searched for hers, the way they always did. She was always able to calm his nerves like no one else could. She was his rock.
Finally, he spotted her. Her eyes were wide with surprise like the rest of the wedding guests, only when she regained her composure, she narrowed her eyes at him as if to say, “I can’t believe you hid this from me!”
Harry grinned, then looked back down at his lap to make sure his fingers were in the right place on the guitar before quietly counting, “One, two, three, four.”
“Woah, my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your touch. A long lonely time. And time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much. Are you still mine? I need your love, I need your love. God speed your love to me.”
His eyes found hers subconsciously as he sang. They always did. This time, though, Harry searched her face to read her reaction. “Unchained Melody” was one of her favorite songs. She hummed it often while they were in bed reading together, in the kitchen while they danced, in his dressing room after a show. “I’ve always wanted someone to love me like that,” she explained to him once. “To have someone hunger for my love. Doesn’t that seem like a bad life, does it?”
Harry was more than willing to be that someone.
As he sang, he looked directly into her eyes. He wanted her to know that this—this performance—was hers. The song was for his friends to dance to, but his performance was dedicated to her.
“Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the open arms of the sea. Lonely rivers sigh, ‘Wait for me. I’ll be coming home. Wait for me.’”
“God, I love you so much,” she panted, pressing him up against the door of the hotel ballroom’s bathroom. Neither of them could wait to go back to their room, so they snuck away like two teenagers at prom.
“I love you too,” was all Harry could muster. He prided himself on being more poetic with his declarations of love, but her kiss was dizzying and left his thoughts muddled.
There was no need for words after that, anyway. Her lips detached from his neck and found his again, her hands finding purchase in his hair. Harry’s hands were all over the place—the ends of her hair, her cheeks, eagerly gripping and caressing whatever he could, the noises she made only spurring him on.
Taking advantage of the flimsy straps that held up her dress, he pushed them off her shoulders and watched it fall in a lacy pool at her feet. He was quick to get on his knees, kissing up her leg and stopping at the high point of her thigh. He sucked a spot into her soft skin.
“H, come on, please,” she whimpered, a tremor running through her body.
“Don’t worry, heaven, I’m coming to take care of you,” he mumbled against her, dragging his lips up, up, up before lifting her leg over his shoulder.
She whimpered again, but not so much at his touch. She never said it, but she loved when he called her heaven. "You are to me," he told her once. "The closest thing a man can get to heaven on earth. You're heaven. My heaven."
It was safe to say neither of them left the confines of his bedroom that day.
Harry raised his eyes to meet hers. “I love you, heaven. You want me to show you just how much?”
“Yes, please. Come on, we don’t have much time.”
Harry paused, a grin twitching on his lips. “Oh no. Can’t rush work like this. We’re gonna have to stop if we don’t have enough time.”
She pouted at him, clearly not amused with his teasing. He enjoyed it, though, loved how desperate he became when he dangled himself like a carrot in front of her. When she was seconds away from stopping her foot out of frustration, he kissed her inner thigh again.
“I’m only teasing, angel. I’ll make sure no one notices we’ve been gone too long.”
She huffed, but there wasn’t any more time for pouting. She gripped his hair, harder than she normally would, as retaliation for not giving her any warning, but he was only loving on her the only way he knew how, completely and ardently.
We could ruin a perfect night. On my birthday I made you cry. You told me you learned to drive, I guess you lied. I could never get sick of you, I just bit off more than I could chew, and as one year turns into two, I’m still not over you.
Harry left therapy in a daze, his head still dredging up memories from the past. He seemed to be stuck reliving all of his worst mistakes. No amount of time had eased the ache of regret. So much so that he tried not to keep tabs on her anymore. When they first broke up, he would do spend an unhealthy amount of time on her social media, just so he could see her smile. It had been so long since he’d seen it.
He wanted to reach out so many times, but he never did. No one would let him. His sister held his phone hostage at night for a month, his manager eventually changed the passwords to his social media accounts, and his mother simply helped him see reason. Their breakup was final, and both of them were hurt in ways that would take a long time to heal. Contacting her before either one of them were ready wouldn’t do any good.
So for a whole year, Harry was miserably alone. He hardly slept, and even when he did, tears soaked the pillow. There was no more breakfasts in bed, no more dancing in the kitchen, no more anything. His house was glaringly empty.
All he could think about was the past, where he pretty much lived for the better part of a year. Harry dwelled on their best and worst moments, torturing his guilt, picking at the scab on his heart instead of letting it scar. He thought about that night, especially. The one that ended it all.
Harry didn’t always have a party on his birthday, but this year he thought why not.
She came, of course she did. They’d hardly spoken the last few days, their busy schedules and differing timezones limiting them to a couple of texts. But she was happy, she was so, so happy. Harry could tell through her texts and the phone calls. She loved her job, she loved her apartment, and she loved the people she worked with. She was filled with so much love for her new life in Japan, that Harry sometimes felt that she was leaving him in the dust. She wasn’t, of course, but there were moments where Harry feigned being tired or pretended to be asleep when she called because he missed her too much.
It was crazy to think about in hindsight, but he never claimed to be an expert at relationships. Harry loved her more than the day they met, but the physical distance between them allowed for bitterness to sink its nasty claws into him. And when she’d told him in advance that she wanted to bring a friend from work, and Harry told her it was fine, but all that did was make him even more paranoid.
She was so happy to see him despite the palpable tension and unsaid words between them. And he had been happy to see her too, had spun her around in his arms and reacquainted his lips with hers in a kiss that made him want to send everyone home. For a minute, nothing was wrong. For a minute, everything was as it should have been. They were together again, everything was going to be fine.
And then she introduced him to her friend.
Looking back now, Harry had the common sense to know that that was all he was to her, a friend. But Harry from the past thought differently.
All night, his vision grew redder and redder as he watched her flaunt her “friend” to everyone at the party. She laughed loudly, stuck by his side, bragged about his long list of accomplishments, shared anecdotes and inside jokes. With each drink Harry knocked back, Harry’s anger took root, grasping onto every pre-existing doubt and fear he had to form one monstrous knot in the pit of his stomach.
“A toast,” she said when everyone had gathered around at her request. ���To my beloved, the only person in my life worth traveling thousands of miles for. I love you more than words can describe. Happy birthday, baby.”
Everyone awwed and clapped and raised their glasses. Everyone but Harry. How could she say things like that when the man she was cheating on him with was in the room with them?
Raising his own glass finally, he gave a toast of his own. “My girlfriend, the liar, everyone.”
His words caused the chatter in the room to cease as all eyes turned to the two of them.
“What are you talking about, baby? Is everything okay?” she asked him, her cheeks flushed.
“You really didn’t think I wouldn’t figure it out? You’re fucking him,” he spat, nodding his head angrily at her colleague.
Shock came before anger, but she didn’t say a word, which only served to make Harry feel more vindicated in his accusations. “You’re not even going to deny it? Not even gonna try to give me some lame fucking excuse?”
“You’re drunk,” was all she said, shaking her head bitterly.
“That doesn’t mean I’m wrong! How could you do this to me?”
A frustrated tear rolled down her cheek, but at that moment, Harry couldn’t bring himself to care. He was just so furious.
People started coming up with excuses to leave, and they slowly trickled out until Harry’s house was empty. Her friend was the last to go, muttering under his breath that he was going to his hotel. She simply nodded and gave his arm a squeeze.
It wasn’t until they were completely alone that she spoke. “Are you really that insecure to think I would cheat on you?”
Her voice was calm, thinly veiling her anger. Harry was the complete opposite, too many drinks in to be anything but loud. “What am I supposed to think? I hardly see you, you spend all your time with him—”
“You’re supposed to trust me!” she cried, her limits finally reached. “You’re supposed to have faith in me because we love each other and we’ve been together too long to think that someone could come between us!”
“You were all over—”
“Do not even finish that sentence, Harry Styles, I swear to God,” she warned. “He doesn’t know anyone here, I was being a good friend. And besides, you were the one whose been hiding behind their fucking liquor—”
“Oh, so it’s my fault, is it? I’m the one who screwed up here?” he said, not backing down. He should’ve, but he didn’t.
“You were the one who decided to let drunken stupidity think for you, Harry. He’s my co-worker, we work on a lot of projects together, of course we’re close. Do you know how many times I see or hear that you’ve cheated on me with some actress or model? But I’ve never believed any of that bullshit because that’s all it is. Because I don’t think so little of you.”
She wouldn’t look him in the eye, she couldn’t. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and as Harry’s fog of fury dissipated he wanted to reach out and wipe them away. He’d been so wrapped up in himself, he never thought about what the distance would be like from her perspective until it was too late.
“You just humiliated me in front of all of our friends over something that isn’t even true,” she said, a little astonished that he’d behaved like this. “And you know what? Maybe he and I are good friends, but H, you’ve been so distant. You hardly call, you’ve skipped out on FaceTime dates. You iced me out for no reason. All over something we could've resolved if you just talked to me.”
Harry did reach out to her then as another tear fell, but she stepped away from him.
“How could you do that to me? To us?”
“I’m sorry, I—I know you would never cheat. I don’t know why I would—”
“We were designing something together. For you. That’s why he came tonight. I wanted him to see your reaction in person,” she said, her voice steadier now than it had been since the argument began.
Sighing, she reached for his hand and kissed his knuckles. It should’ve felt relieving, but it didn’t. Somehow, he knew they'd reached the end. They both did.
Harry would live to regret that night for the rest of his life. Before, the issues they were having could’ve been fixed. She could take time off, he could call more, visit more, but he’d done irrevocable damage, and now he had to pay the price.
A year after they broke up, Harry went to see her to apologize. He was a wreck without her. Life just wasn’t the same when she wasn't in it. So after a year went by, he hoped enough time had passed where they could talk things out, possibly test the waters of their relationship once more.
But he was in bad shape, and she wasn’t in a place where she could fix him. She was still in love with him too, but she also wasn’t ready to forgive him yet. So she sent him away, and it fell like they’d broken up all over again.
All Harry could do was cry in the weeks that followed. That goodbye felt final. She didn’t want him back, and he could only blame himself for being alone.
We had a hunger then. Now it’s just emptiness. Couldn’t get enough when we started. Always a hunger then.
Harry didn’t really want to come to this event. There were too many people with cameras and questions, and too much socializing that he wasn’t really in the mood for. He had no desire to wear a smile he didn’t feel and make small talk with people in the industry who only wanted to talk to him just to say they did.
But he came anyway, was practically forced out of his house by his manager. So he was here, but he was keeping to himself. Anyone that wanted to talk would have to come up to him, he wasn’t about to go out of his way. The red carpet entrance alone was exhausting. People asking for his next album or single or anything. He just gave a close lipped smile, resisted the urge to fidget with his rings, and stepped inside the event space.
He was at the back of the room, counting down the minutes until he thought it was appropriate to leave. The dinner was fine, having sat next to people he was familiar enough with. An Italian designer, a director and his wife, two members of a band, and himself. He let his table do most of the talking while he picked at his food and sipped on his sparkling water, and having picked up on his somber mood, they pretty much left him alone.
The members of his table cleared out after dinner to get more drinks or talk to other guests they recognized or to make their way to the dance floor. Harry stayed where he was for another fifteen minutes before deciding to head home.
That voice. The one that haunted his dreams at night and kept him company in his daydreams. Part of him thought he really was losing his mind when he heard his name, but then she called out to him again, and he knew it had to be real.
Turning around, he silently prayed his knees wouldn’t buckle.
She was radiant, she was Venus emerging from the sea. She looked the same, yet different, like she’d done a lot of living since the last time she saw him. Harry was happy that the last two years seemed to have been kind to her.
“Hi,” he finally managed to say, his voice barely discernible above all the others in the room.
He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised to see her here. It was some event put on by Vanity Fair, so it would make sense that she would be invited. Harry had to be forced out of the house by his manager tonight, but now he couldn’t be more thankful. Just seeing her again made him feel just a little bit better.
She stepped closer to hear him better, and he could only hope she wouldn’t notice the bags under his eyes. To Harry’s surprise, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Too shocked to process what was happening, he hardly felt it, his arms remaining awkwardly at his sides.
“How are you?” she asked.
The truth simply wouldn’t do. She didn’t need to know that he was still catastrophically in love with her, even after two whole years of them being broken up. So, giving her the same line he gave his therapist two days ago, he said, “Fine, I guess.”
“You guess?” she asked, a playful smile on her lips.
Harry blushed. “Yeah, it’s just—it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” he said, like he didn’t know the exact number of days since they’d seen each other.
“It has,” she replied, but he didn’t sense much in terms of fondness or nostalgia. Whatever feelings she had or didn’t have, she was doing a much better job of hiding them than he was.
He probably shouldn’t have, but he found himself saying, “I—I’ve missed you.”
The room they were in was much too loud, but Harry swore he heard her breath hitch. Other than that, though, she didn’t really react. Harry took her lack of response as his anser. His conversation with his therapist had been on his mind, and in a stroke of courage, tried to extend an olive branch, and he only ended up looking like a lovesick fool.
Harry mumbled some kind of goodbye and excused himself. He hated that he was still in love with her and she wasn’t, that she’d been able to move on and he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair. He just wanted to be loved again and—
“Do you—Do you want to dance?”
Harry froze in his tracks. Slowly turning back on his heel to face her, he said, “You want to dance? With me?”
She nodded and held out her hand.
So now they were dancing. A hand on her waist, one on his shoulders, two joined together as they swayed back and forth to the music. Other couples had their heads rested on their partners’ shoulders, but she stayed standing up straight. She wasn’t rigid, just keeping enough distance between them so as not to confuse things further.
Harry didn’t really know what to feel. He was over the moon, of course. He’d wished and waited and hoped and dreamed and prayed that an opportunity like this would present itself, and it finally had. Only he never accounted for the confusion and uncertainty. He didn’t know what their shared dance meant. Was it merely a dance or was it a door opening to more? He couldn’t be sure, and since she didn’t say anything, he didn’t either, settling for enjoying having her in his arms again in this small way.
She smelled divine, the familiarity of her perfume a punch to the face. Memories of them tangled together—a picnic date that ended with Harry sleeping on her lap, him rushing her to the Emergency Room when she slipped and fell trying to reach a salad bowl on the top shelf, their first “I love yous,” the last time he saw her completely bare—flashed across his mind as they danced. It all felt nearly perfect. If it wasn’t for the uncertainty of how this dance would end, it would’ve been.
“Can I confess something?” she asked out of the blue.
“Of course,” he said, trying not to sound too eager.
“I can’t—I can’t remember the song,” she said.
“Can’t remember what song?”
“The song you sang when you washed my hair that one time. I—I can remember the shampoo you used, and I can remember what you were wearing, and what color nail polish we were wearing, and I remember you humming a song, but I don’t remember which one.”
For a moment, Harry’s heart stopped beating. He remembered the day, thought about it often. He just didn’t anticipate her bringing it up so plainly like that.
“You’re not getting in with me?”
When she had particularly stressful days at work, Harry liked to run baths for her. It was a way to help her relax, but it was also an opportunity for them to spend time together intimately too. He usually sat behind her and just listened as she said whatever she needed to get off her chest, or talked about random things until she eventually fell asleep against him. He’d rub her shoulders, kiss her neck, feed her grapes, do whatever he needed to until the tension was released from her body.
Used to their bath rituals, she expected Harry to climb into the tub after her, but he stayed where he was. He hadn’t even removed a stitch of clothing.
“No, I want to try something different, if you don’t mind,” he said.
Kneeling next to the tub, Harry took a pitcher and ran the faucet, filling it up all the way to the brim. She watched his expression closely with curious eyes, noting the concentration etched into his face.
“Tilt your head back for me, please.”
Realization dawned on her, and she did as he asked, her eyes closing as Harry poured the water down the crown of her head. His fingers were feather-light as he moved her hair around to soak it thoroughly, his touch sending happy little tingles from the top of her head down to the rest of her body.
Neither of them said much, though sometimes he asked if he was being gentle enough, and she quietly gave him pointers on how to properly care for her hair. It was peaceful and comfortable, both of them content to just bask in the other’s presence.
“Tonight you’re mine completely. You give your love so sweetly. Tonight, the light of love is in your eyes. Will you still love me tomorrow?”
Harry’s voice was so soft, she could hardly make out the words, but she was just able to. The words, his hands in her hair, it filled the room with warmth, made her love him even more than she already did. She’d never met anyone so loving, so eager to express their love in ways that were unique and personal, as Harry. She knew from that moment on that it was a privilege to love and be loved by him, and she vowed she would always reciprocate that kind of love for him.
“I remember,” he said quietly, his eyes darting down to make sure he didn’t step on her toes. How could he not? "It was a Carole King song."
“I think about that night often,” she admitted.
Harry couldn’t quite believe the conversation they were having, couldn’t believe they were having it in a room full of people. But he was too scared to alter this moment in any way, so he didn’t suggest finding somewhere more quiet to talk. He worried that the tiniest of changes would ruin it.All he could do was be thankful that the music was loud and people seemed to be in their own worlds and not paying them any attention.
She nodded. “I—I feel like it’s the only time I hear your voice these days. Why—Why don’t you sing anymore, Harry?”
“I write now mostly,” was his non-answer.
How could he admit to her that he couldn’t stand to sing the songs he wrote because he cried every time he tried to? Every lyric was a tribute to the passion they shared, the love between them, how he ruined everything. The songs he wrote relieved and punished him at the same time. He felt like Tantalus, who was always within reach of food but could never eat it, cursed to starve for eternity. Harry was tormented by these songs, starved of living the life he had in them, but knowing he never could. So he sold them off or kept them to himself instead.
“Oh,” she said. “Are you—Does that make you happy?”
“Are you happy?” he asked her.
He needed to know if she was as starved as he was. If she wasn’t, if she was happy without him, it would possibly kill him, but he wouldn’t admit that he wasn’t over her. Her happiness meant everything to him, he wouldn’t ruin it again.
“I—Yes. Yes, I’m happy.”
Tears were coming, he could feel his throat closing up and his eyes stinging. The hand on her waist curled in on itself so that his nails were biting into his palms. Harry tried to focus on that pain and not his heart shredding itself into tiny, irreparable pieces.
“Good. That’s—That’s good. I’m happy for you,” he said around the lump lodged in his throat. He began to pull away, not caring if it made his true feelings obvious to her. He needed to get away before he really made a scene. “It was nice seeing you again.”
Harry tried to turn around, to turn away from her, but she grasped his hand before he could, her thumb soothing over where his nails had dug crescent moons into his palm. Raising their joined hands, she kissed his knuckles, the action alone powerful enough to bring him to his knees.
“I’m happy, but I—I could be happier.”
He tried to find the words, any words, but he couldn’t. His brain was short circuting. All he could do was rest his forehead against hers, tears of solace falling silently as they continued to sway to the music.
Hey! Hope everything’s going good! Was thinking if bandmember did anything like the vanity fair Billie eilish videos when they watch back all those interviews. Would love to see how far our girl has come
YN YLN: Same Interview, The Sixth Year | Vanity Fair
A/N: Christmas break is coming up so been busy but I also have some stuff coming out soon for your lovies! 💚
SINCE 2010 masterlist
“Year six, baby,” YN smirks at the camera. “Alright—” She pulls on the tops of her pink sheer opera gloves that match her pink corset before clapping her hands together. “—Let’s do this. ‘Ello, m’name is YN YLN. Today’s date is October 18, 2022.”
How old are you?
“I’m 23 years old.”
“M’28 years old,” YN kisses her teeth. “M’pushing 30, mate.”
How many followers do you have on Instagram?
“I have 573K followers on Instagram.”
“I currently have 287 million followers on Instagram. Dunno why I have so many; I make a lot of shit posts.”
What is your most liked picture on Instagram?
“My most liked picture is one of me and the boys huddled up backstage after our last performance together with 654K likes.”
“It is a picture of me in my home recording studio with about 5 million likes.”
“It’s currently one of me photo dumps on tour. The first picture on that one is a selfie with Harry taking a bite out of m’cheek. This one has 60,036,819 likes. Which is way too many likes if m’being honest.”
How are you feeling today?
“M’feeling really good. I always look forward to these interviews. I try me best not to look at the old videos more than once so that I can best prepare meself for my current answers, yeh know? But I love that I get to do this every year. There’s a lot of like, time lapse compilation videos on meself on YouTube that show off how far I’ve come over the years but these I feel are the least cringy ones,” YN lets out a laugh.
Biggest thing to happen in your career?
“I won a Grammy for producer of the year?” YN furrows her eyebrows as she juts her chin out. “Wha’ is life? That’s insane. The highlight of me career. Hands down.”
“It’s still the highlight of me career. And I got nominated for it again for Grammys 2023. To even be nominated and be the only woman in this category a second year in a row is just super fookin’ wild. Um...I got seven other Grammy nominations for next year. I’m also on tour again—a world tour—and it’s definitely me favorite thing to do aside from making the actual music. Harry’s new album that we’ve been workin’ on for over the past two-ish years finally came out earlier this year. I’m dropping me third album before the year is up. So many good things have happened this year that it’s honestly too long to list.”
How often do you get recognized in public?
“Pretty often,” She nods her head, a chuckle pushing past her lips. “It’s pretty hard to just go out and grab a bite to eat without getting surrounded.”
“Public? Who is she? I dunno her,” YN teases. “It’s pretty rare that I’ll go out nowadays and the masks only help so much with trying to be lowkey on the street on stuff like tha’.”
“I have to admit, v’gotten a lot better at being discreet when going out in public,” She nods her head with a knowing smile. “I think I was just so used to not being ‘allowed’ to go outside or if I did I wouldn’t enjoy meself because I knew I was gonna get recognized by paps. It was really hard for baby YN there because of how everything started. Everything I did was in the public eye and no matta’ what I did, me fans always knew where I was at all times it seemed,” YN hums.
“I love me fans and I love the times when we happen to see each other on the street, we can have like a genuine conversation instead of shoving yeh phone in me face and putting yeh hands on me without me permission. I’ve had the most amazing conversations with fans like tha’ those moments are super special to me.
But in all honesty, they need to get hired by the FBI or somethin’. Knowin’ where m’gonna be before I even do,” She huffs out a chuckle.
What’s most important to you right now?
“The relationships within me life. I think this year has really made me recognize that. Whether those relationships are with me mum, me boyfriend, me tour team, me dancers, the fans—they’re all super important to me. Makin’ sure that we’re all safe and healthy—mentally and physically—now more than ever.”
“All of which are still very important to me. I think v’also learned to stay in touch with me emotions. I think in an industry like this, it can be very easy to just put on a mask or passively go through events to maintain an image. If I’m doing something—wether it be somethin’ major or not, I want to allow m’self to be in the moment.
I did a show recently in Austin and...” The crease between her eyebrows disappear and smile etches itself on her lips at the memory, “I was singing POV and I just stopped singing and the crowd took over. I quite literally just stood there, took out me earpieces and just listened to a stadium full of people sing my song back to me. It made me feel so...it made me feel really good, really happy.”
Do you feel pressure?
“I do yeah,” YN nods with a sincere furrow of her eyebrows. “But I have been feeling pressure for the majority of my career so I’m mostly used to it by now; It doesn't bother me as much anymore.”
“Of my fookin’ word,” She throws her head back. “I can’t even—like even the way I spoke, man. Can yeh hear that? Like, I was still in the mindset of having to change the way I talk, tweak me accent and act all prim and proper,” YN points a finger into her mouth as she sticks out her tongue.
“And what a lie. Like of course that pressure bothered me still! I was fresh into the hiatus, just dropped me first solo album, about to do a world tour by meself for the first time. I was dealin’ with so much that I remember the pressure of everything was just...it felt that I was gonna be squished into a pancake. Being in the band and being as big as we were, there was an immense amount of pressure for everything to keep going well; everything seemed like it had to get bigger and bigger and if I didn’t live up to that standard as a solo artist, it was the end of the world to me.”
“I do still feel some pressure but definitely not to that extent anymore. It’s more of like, a good pressure, I’d say. It keeps me from resting on me laurels and it makes me continue to work hard to improve meself. Like, just because I won an award for produce of the year doesn’t mean that m’gonna let it get to me head and just not work to better meself in that craft.
But I have to admit that a lot of that pressure has been lifted off of me from me fans. They’ve just continued to give me their unconditional love and support—whether it be for a year, 2 years, 12 years—m’just super grateful that they just allow me to be me, flaws and all.”
What did you eat today?
“I ate some grilled chicken—that I made all by myself—with a side of some beans,” YN giggles as she knows by now that the fans have been having a laugh about her boyfriend’s baked beans comment over interviews in quarantine.
“I had a chicken caesar salad bowl that I probably put way too much dressing on to be considered healthy anymore,” She chuckles, playing with the chunky chain sitting on her collarbones.
“I actually had an amazing chicken wrap this morning. Just the right amount of protein and yumminess,” She pats her tummy with a content smile. “Yeh girl likes chicken, what can I say?”
Are you aware of people when you're playing?
“I think so yeah. It’s crazy because for me, it’s scarier to play in front of 6 people than 60 thousand people. But on the other hand, the noisiness of big crowds is super calming to me. I can’t really explain how. Like right before m’gonna go on stage, I like to take out me ear-pieces and just listen to them scream...which now makes me sound like a serial killer of summ’wat,” YN’s shoulders bunch up to her ears as she giggles.
“I would say that m’more aware of the audience members now more than I ever have before. This current tour that m’on is probably the funnest tour so far and it’s really because of the fans. When m’on stage and when I’m performing, I make sure to look at the people in the audience, yeh know? Like, I can still remember when the band did our first stadium tour, I honestly couldn’t see anything; they were all just blurbed together.
But with this tour, I make sure to take the time during the show to talk with fans. And I make an effort to sing to them and look at them dancing in the pit, the outfits they recreate, the way some of them are just closing their eyes and just being in the moment. As a musician, to see people come to me show and to see how they create this environment where everyone can have fun and let loose and just have a good time is just super amazin’. It’s a really indescribable feeling.”
Are you more confident this year compared to last year?
“From last year to now? 100%,” She answers with ease, leaning back into her seat. “I think this is the most confident I’ve ever felt, I think. M’not too worried about what people are sayin’ about me because let’s face it, they are always saying something. So if yeh like me, cool. If yeh don’t, cool.”
“She’s not wrong. 2018 YN’s ego was pretty up there. Granted, me ego is still growing and sensitive so—” YN shamelessly shrugs and puts her hands up in defense. “—Take tha’ as you will. But I definitely feel more confident and secure in who I am as a person and as an artist. When the boys and I went our separate ways musically, I had a hard time sort of, figuring out what I like and the kind of music I wanted to make for meself. Even the way I thought about fashion, I knew people saw me in skirts and things like that but I remember entertaining the idea of if I wanted to continue that as a security blanket of sorts.
When I was in the band, I took things with a grain of salt and m’very happy that I’ve kept that with me.”
Biggest rumor about you?
“That I’ve slept with each of the 1D boys,” YN lets out a nervous laugh. “Which is gross because they’re all like my brothers.”
“Where do I even begin?” YN blows out a raspberry. “I’ve been gettin’ this one for literally years now but that m’dating my old bandmate, Harry—which is getting really old at this point,” She scrunches up her nose with a roll of her eyes.
YN bursts out laughing as she watches her old self answer, knowing full well that during that time period she was in the midst of her on-and-off relationship with Harry.
She tilts her head to the side with a quick raise of her eyebrows, “I mean, she’s not wrong. V’been getting that question/comment asked since we were on the XFactor. And believe it or not, I still get asked that question. I just answer it differently now,” She cheekily brings her shoulder to her chin.
What do you hate being asked?
“That. The ‘who are you dating?’ question. For a long time, I just had to suck it up and just answer the question but I don’t have to answer if I don’t want to, y’know? Also, I’m my own person,” She begins to list things off of her fingers, “I’m not someone’s arm candy, m’not so-and-so’s new girl. I’m YN YLN and if all you ask me is if I’m dating anyone rather than me music, you don’t deserve my time.”
YN drops her jaw and the corners of her lips tug up in a smile.
“A feisty little thing she is,” She chuckles. “But no truer words have ever escaped me mouth. She’s right, and I still stand by that. 100%. My career is not based around a guy or who m’dating. That’s not to say I hate talking about Harry—I love to talk about him but don’t make it the whole point of the interview, yeh know?”
Craziest fan moment?
“Me first show back on tour after being held back in 2020 was really heartwarming. It a stadium show—not intimidating at all for me first show back—” YN sarcastically comments. “—so there were three levels of seating: the pit, the middle section, and then the top. While I was singing, the audience did a fan project where on the top section held up lights to read welcome back, and then the middle said we missed you, and the pit held up pieces of paper saying we love you. M’not even gonna lie, I was bawlin’ me eyes out. Like, just thinking of the amount of work that went into that...” She shakes her head in disbelief.
“I did a show last week in LA and at the barricade, I saw this lineup of these 5 girls wearing my current and past tour outfits. I have seen some really good recreation of me fits before and it was honestly like a copy and paste, I was so shocked. After talking with them for a bit—now I don’t ever do this—but I invited them to come up on stage with me,” YN laughs.
“I suggested we ditch the choreography for Kiss Me More but they insisted they knew it and sure enough,” YN throws her hands with another laugh. “I almost hired them on the spot!”
Do you have a boyfriend?
“Um, no. I do not have a boyfriend. I’m just really focused on my music at the moment. That’s my boyfriend,” She lets out a chuckle.
YN playfully rolls her eyes and throws her hands up, “Well I’d be the biggest liar in the world if I said no.”
She huffs out a giggle as she refers to the entire world finding out about her secret relationship with Harry on New Years Eve of that year.
“I do have a boyfriend,” She smirks at the camera with a shrug of her shoulder, leaving it at that.
YN takes a second longer to answer this question and stares at the laptop screen with a fond smile. She technically doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore, but will she let them know that? Nope.
“Well, you’d all be happy to know that Harry and I are still very much together. Still got that boy locked down, ladies,” She playfully winks at the camera with a click of her tongue.
What makes you happy in a relationship?
“I like quality time. From staying inside 24/7 in 2020 to easing back into my busy schedule made H and I realize that it was important to set some time aside for ourselves, just the two of us. Like, we don’t even have to be talking just as long as we’re together during the business of it all. And...” A smirk grows on her lips, “One of me love languages is physical touch. It definitely wasn't on the list before so you can probably guess who made me this way but yeah. And music, of course, that’s me main form of love language. Whether we’re listening to good music, making it, singing it—anything to do with it m‘in love.”
Describe your style in 3 words.
“Figuring it out.”
“No more skirts,” The 24-year-old rolls her eyes.
“Whatever is comfy,” She laughs as she wraps her light green cardigan tighter over herself.
“Trying new things.”
“Trousers and blazers.”
She tilts her head as she bites her lip, looking up as she thinks about how to compactly frame her style now. As she says the next three words, she holds up her hand to count it off on her fingers, “Pretty in pink. And 2018 YN was a lie. I still fancy a skirt every now and then.”
Biggest thing you’re struggling with?
“I think, just being honest with meself in terms of how I feel. I think I struggle a lot with allowing meself to feel the way I feel about certain things,” Or about a certain someone. “And that it's okay to feel those things. I know, super detailed,” She chuckles.
“Yeah, 2019 YN was certainly going through some personal issues. S’crazy to look back at these videos and remember wha’ I was feelin’ during that time. S’pretty crazy. I can say that v’grown immensely from that time of my life which is very comforting to know. It’s still hard for me, don’t get me wrong, but allowing myself to feel things like love or sadness or happiness is something that I’m subconsciously reminding myself to do.
I think the biggest thing that m’stuggling now with is to have check ins with meself. It’s safe to say that m’back to my busy, hectic, never-ending schedule so I want to take a breather every now and then. It can be a whole day, a whole 20 minutes, just a pause to check in with my mind, me body, me spirt to make sure m’okay and then be off to a career that I love very dearly.”
What advice would you give your future self?
“Have some fun and enjoy this new chapter that you’re venturing onto,” She nods with a smile.
“I would say to allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. Step out of your comfort zone and take that leap of faith.”
“What a genetic piece of advice for that first year, eh?” YN chuckles with a smirk, “Enjoy this new chapter you're venturing onto like yeh can hear how professional I wanted to sound,” She playfully rolls her eyes with a sigh. “I would say that 2019 YN’s advice is a good one though. It’s a good reminder to not play things safe all the time. As a narcissist, I want everything to be perfect, especially me music, so to be in the studio and not fall back to me old habits of what I think sounds good, try something different, yeh know? I like that a lot, actually.”
This is my mum...
“Everyone, say hello to Penny,” YN proudly presents as her stepmum comes up to her side, placing a hand on the back of her chair as she waves at the camera.
“‘Ello, lovelies,” Penny beams.
“Penny!” YN smiles brightly. When she wiggles her fingers towards her stepmum the sound of her rings clinking together can be heard.
When Penny walks up to her stepdaughter’s side, she puts her hands on top of YN’s red leather jacket to give her shoulders a squeeze.
“Hi baby,” Her stepmum gives a warm smile and gently presses her chin to YN’s temple.
Penny tucks her long, black hair behind her ears before wrapping her arms around her stepdaughter’s shoulders.
“I love you, my baby,” She says into her hair before planting a kiss on her head.
“I love youuu so much,” YN sings as she holds onto her stepmum’s forearms over her chest.
“Y’already know what time it is,” YN dances in her seat, her arms already extended out by her side. She lets out a laugh as she watches Penny shimmy her way to her stepdaughter’s side. The tight high waisted jeans show off her curvy, fit figure and a mask covers the lower half of her face.
“It’s Penny time,” Her stepmum throws finger guns at the camera.
“Come over ‘ere, mum,” YN nods her head over to Penny. Once she’s close enough, she takes a hold of her stepmum’s hand and pulls her over for her to sit on her lap, wrapping her arms over her torso, “Love you.”
“I love you more, baby,” Penny smiles as she leans her head back to rest beside YN’s.
“This is me mumma,” YN smiles warmly before cooing out a chuckle. “Wha’ happened?” She questions when she sees Penny walk over to her side with glossy eyes.
“Sorry, m’sorry,” She chuckles, dabbing her under eyes with the sides of her index fingers. “S’just really fookin’ cool to see how far you’ve come. Like look at her—” Penny points to the laptop screen that has 2017 YN on display. “—me lil’ baby.”
“Mum!” YN laughs when Penny wraps her arms around her daughter’s head and pulls it to her chest.
[when your boyfriend of two years breaks it off and offers a new arrangement, of course you’ll take it up. This is your prime chance to prove him wrong. And Harry can’t bear to watch it]
[part one is here, and i just wanted to say thank you thank you thank you for all the love you've shown. i really hope you enjoy it xxx]
wc; 9.7k (could've made it to 10k but i was getting impatient)
pairing; harry styles x reader
cw; angstt as always, (i cant tell how angsty it is because I was so busy on trying to get this out for you guys) fluff? could you count it as fluff? it's harry sided about his feelings.
Morning light came through the windows, only partly dimmed by the curtains. Harry winced as a ray of light began to wake him. He started to stretch, nearly jumping out of his skin when he heard a groan from beside him. His eyes fell upon her head of hair, tucked into his chest and he felt his chest burn. How could he have forgotten? She chose me. This time, it was me. He could feel a stupid grin spread across his lips, slowly slipping his body away from the couch to let her sleep a bit longer. Somehow, he managed his big frame away without waking her, her hair slightly out of place and spread across the throw pillow. He was aware that he’s getting ahead of himself, but already there’s an unsteady bubble rising in his chest. He knows that if he lets himself revel in this too much, it’ll end up crushing him, most likely as a wave of reality of the fact that he wasn’t enough and he’s spent too many years trying to prove to himself that he was. That it was up to Y/N to decide. Yet, as he laid the blanket over top of her sleeping body, he couldn’t help but remember how it felt to watch her trail off behind Mark so easily. He was so sure she’d go home with him, so much so that he even contemplated whether it was accidental or not. That she knew Mark was on the way, and used him to get under Mark’s skin. After all, she came after him. She asked for the kiss. And what a great precursor to get back together that was. It was everything Harry had been trying to avoid. Any sane man that walked up on that kiss would’ve had enough sense knocked into them to know it was time to stop fucking around. If it was him? And he was in Mark’s shoes? He’d have gotten to his knees, and begged for forgiveness, that he didn’t realise how badly he loved her. Only, Mark doesn't love her.
It was all he could think about after he left The Stumble last night while blinking back tears, the air threatening to freeze any that fell. He had no idea where he went after that, how long he stayed there, what he drank, or even how he got home. All he remembers is Y/N sitting on his couch with a glass of water for him. That memory, as insignificant as it appeared, was enough to warm his chest once more.
He went to his room to shower and change out of his clothes from the night before, thinking about bringing back a quick breakfast while she slept. One that was actually for her. He'd have to text her so she knew to wait for him if she woke up before he returned. He tried his best to keep quiet, planning his quick outing to try and be back before she woke, but when he kept hearing buzzing as he reached for his keys, he began to grow irritated. It was nearly nine am and her phone was lighting up every few seconds when he looked over. And Harry, of course, knew better. But he couldn't help himself and tiptoed over, catching only a contact name. Naturally, it was Mark with a constant stream of 20 texts and phone calls. Harry scowled, disgust spreading like rust in his mouth, and snatched the phone up to move it to the kitchen counter. He can’t place the feeling he gets, as the doubt creeps in, but knows deep down in his gut that she only chose him this time. That this was just the tip of the iceberg, that he still had a long way to go, and that last night's performance was only proof of his time running out.
His thoughts swarmed hot around his head as he drove, and no matter how many times he reminded himself to find peace in the small victories, he couldn't get Mark's stupid looking face out of his head, or that stupid fucking phone buzzing again and again and again. And now, because the prick doesn't know when to quit, she'll wake up and won't see his text. Knowing she'll see those messages, whatever they say, and how they'll affect her entire day or mood for the rest of the day had his blood boiling.
When would he finally get her to himself so he wouldn't have to keep picking up the pieces Mark breaks as they fall?
Harry's knuckles tightened on the steering wheel, and he thought he'd have to pull over if he had to drive any longer; thankfully, the deli was only a traffic light away. He knew it shouldn’t piss him off so bad and that he shouldn't let it get to him the way it did. But Mark wasn't going to go away. Not on his own at least, especially with the hold he knows he has on Y/N. It was manipulative, what kind of person torments someone they supposedly cared about at one point? And why couldn’t she realise he was tugging her along. It all made his heart hurt, his brain feeling like it’d explode with how frustrating the situation was.
His phone rang just as he pulled into a parking spot, jolting him away from his thoughts as he scrambled to find it. Cade calling… “Cade?” He questioned, he didn’t know Cade even kept his number. He’s never called before. “Hey, Harry! Wasn’t sure if this was the right number.” He explained from the other side of the phone. “You got me, what’s up?” Harry asked, sighing as he relaxed in his seat because he had a funny feeling he knew where this conversation was going to end up. “Oh! Well, M’just, er, checking in on you. Y’left the bar before saying goodbye, and all,” He started, and Harry could hear how uncomfortable Cade was from the sound of his voice. “And, y’know the girls were worried too.” Harry sighed a bit too loudly, “Everything’s fine.” He said, taking the time to grab his wallet to get ready to walk in for the order. “I know, but.. y’seemed really upset. And Y/N came out of the bathroom, shouted at us.. We just wanted to double check.” He explained again, earning a grumble from Harry. “Yeah, jus’ really don’t like Mark. Thought that was the case for all of us.” Harry really just wanted to stop talking about Mark, and whatever humiliating experience they saw. The thought sent a chill down his spine at the memory of rejection. “It is! We jus-” Cade started again and Harry had had enough already. “Look, there’s nothing to worry about, yeah? Let’s just forget it even happened. S’none of our business.” He said, getting annoyed that Cade kept prying. He’d be willing to bet Daphne was by him from his use of ‘we’, Jodie was far too up front to get Cade of all people to get answers. “Right, sorry. Well, s’Daph’s birthday comin’ up. We wanted to get together one last time before we have to plan nights out in advance.” Cade said, looking for a way to round out the already uncomfortable conversation. “Yeah, er, let’s get a text goin’ cos I’ve got to run in and get some breakfast, okay?” Harry said, opening his car door to get out. “Works f’me, see y’Harry.” And with that he hung up. Harry sighed again for what felt like the umpteenth time, straightening up before finally walking in to order their breakfast.
Just as Harry walked through the door, I had come out of his room having been searching for something other than last night’s dress to wear at ten in the morning.
“Morning.” He muttered, trying not to let his bitterness from the car ride venture into whatever conversation he’ll find himself in with her. As he set the brown bags on the kitchen counter and hung up the keys, he noticed she had folded up the blanket he had laid on her. A perfect houseguest indeed.
“Breakfast?” He asked, taking a look in my direction and managed to crack a smile. “Made y’self right at home, didn’t you?” He chuckled, pulling the parchment wrapped sandwiches out of the bags. I blushed and made my way to the opposite side of the counter. “M’sorry, figured it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” I hummed and Harry quickly shook his head, “No, no! Don’t apologise, I changed as soon as I woke up too.” He explained, passing my sandwich towards my plate. “What’s this?” I asked, grinning at him. “S’breakfast, what’s it look like?” He laughed, setting the coffees down. “I meant,” I paused, opening the parchment to reveal a sausage egg and cheese with a bright red tomato peering out the sides, “What is it.” I repeated with a giggle, taking my coffee for a sip. “S’gorgeous, Harry, thank you.” I grinned, taking a bite of the sandwich as he opened his up.
“Uh, Cade called me.” He murmured and my head snapped up, “About last night?” I muttered, slumping back into my seat. “Harry, m’really so, so, sorry. I wasn’t thinki-” “Y/N, please. It’s fine, really. Wasn’t your fault, besides Cade only called to ask if you were alright.” Harry lied, and it was a bad lie. She didn’t seem to notice but it had him sweating. “I was kind of rude to them when I left.” I sighed, shaking my head as I remembered how shameful I felt knowing they had seen everything.
They probably saw me as weak, that I couldn’t stand up for myself. Or, at least not when it came to Mark. They’d seen countless times that I had to tell someone off for acting a fool over a pool game, or someone getting too close to one of the girls. It wasn’t strange for them to see me shouting over music to make sure the other party knew I wasn’t taking anyone's crap. I’m positive they hadn’t seen that Y/N since Mark’s been in my life. But I always felt Mark was my endgame. That he was supposed to stumble into our friend group, and he was supposed to spill a whole tray of shots in my lap, and he was supposed to tell me he loved me too early. It made my head spin when I thought about how perfectly everything panned out in the beginning of the relationship to where we are now.
“Marks been texting all morning.” I started, desperate to change the subject. “Says he wanted to make sure I made it home alright.” I scoffed, shaking my head. When I first read the message, my chest ached. I had finally managed to crack into his ego. I scowled, thinking about how long it's been since he left me, and why it had to have been now, when I was finally getting more comfortable to pull through and act like I was worth a damn. “Think he wants to meet up, properly apologise. That’s what he says anyway.” I explained, taking another bite from my sandwich. Harry’s grip tightened on his cup, and he had to set it down in order to stop himself from bursting hot coffee all over the counter. “Y’gonna go?” He reluctantly asked, deathly afraid of the answer he knew she’d give. “I mean,” I sighed and sat back in my chair. “It’s the least he can do, and I’ve never heard an apology leave his lips before. Might be one of the extraordinary once-in-a-lifetime things, y’know?” I laughed, and shrugged, placing a stray tomato back into the sandwich before I took another bite. “Why? Think it's a bad idea?” I asked, tilting my head to the side as I looked at him, trying to gauge his unspoken reactions. “Well,” He coughed, taking a swig from his coffee before continuing, “S’not the complete worst idea in the history of ideas. Y’are right, that’s the least he can do.” Harry swallowed bitterly around the words, fighting off the urge to begin gnawing at his lips. “I just- m’not sure he’s doing it to be genuine, s’all.” He admitted, trying his best to avoid her stare. I stayed quiet, mulling over his answer in my head. “What would he be doing it for? I’ve never heard him apologise for any argument we ever had, I had to fold every time.”
Harry snorts at that, and he wanted to make a comment about how some things never change but decided against it. She has to realise that for herself. “Y’could put a stop to it.” He suggested, shrugging but still proud for finding a different way to hint it at her. “How d’ya suggest I do that?” She giggled out and Harry shrugged again, swallowing back the frustration that she was oblivious to what he was trying to get at.
“What if I promise to send an SOS if I need it?” I asked, smiling still at him as I wrapped up the rest of the sandwich to pull my phone out and request a driver to pick me up. Harry chuckled dryly, nodding around a gigantic bite he may or may not have taken on purpose to avoid telling her how he really felt about the whole situation. “Yeah,” He muttered after he swallowed, wrapping his up as well now that he lost his appetite. “Y’headed out?” He asked, pursing his lips as she collected her things. “Yeah, got to do some groceries today, errand stuff. Maybe shop a bit. You want to join?” I asked, in case he had to pick anything up for himself as well. Harry shook his head, leaning back, “Nah, ‘ve got a full day of relaxation ahead of me. You have fun though.” He smiled, and leaned up to kiss my cheek before I grabbed my shoes to head out. He quickly turned in his chair to try and catch me before I walked out the front door. “Wait!” I stopped in my tracks, turning to face him once more, “What?” Harry smiled, “Cade’s planning Daphne’s birthday here tonight. Now, I know y’got to help Jodie but if you guys are up for it, maybe she could practise here? Two birds, one stone, yeah?” He offered and I nodded, “Sounds great, I’ll ask Jodie. Bye, Harry.”
I sat at the table, looking through the late lunch options, not quite feeling up to dinner yet. Mark was running late, he said, so I’d just have to order something for him. I’d had time to drop off all my bags at the house and briefly change before getting here and even still, I made it on time. I sighed, leaning back in my chair to pull out my phone again.
he’s late again
lookin like a loser so far lol
Again the waitress came over to ask if I was ready to at least take a drink order. I gave a smile, sitting up again. “I was just going to order a glass of water, but now I’m thinkin’ I ought to pair it with a vodka cranberry on the rocks.” I laughed and she nodded, dipping back off to make the drink.
I could possibly make a million off placing bets on whether Mark shows up or not
sorry, that was mean
order something expensive and leave him with the bill
I laughed at my phone, shaking my head at my best friend. She wasn’t wrong, I should know better by now. Mark had never, in the time we had dated, shown up on time. Only when we broke up did he start standing me up completely. The waitress made it back with my drink and I explained to her, “Just a few more minutes, m’so sorry.”, to which she nodded and headed off to the next table. And right as I began another text to Jodie, I saw his familiar light brown head of hair at the right height ducking through the front door.
hope you didn’t bet your life earnings away, he's here
ttyl love you xx
I tucked my phone back into my bag and found Mark, talking to the hostess, well, flirting with the hostess as he asked if she knew where to find me. I watched as she smiled, playing with her hair as pointed in my direction, a full dining room over. He nodded and made his way over, arms outstretched as if to offer a welcoming hug. I rolled my lips together, and stood halfway to accept a hug with one arm.
“Y’didn’t order anything?” He asked, taking his seat opposite me and opened his menu. “Nope, just a drink. Thought I may as well catch a buzz while I wait.” I said, crossing one leg over the other with a hard glare delivered in his direction. He peered above the menu and chuckled, “C’mon, no need for a strop. Can’t help traffic, love.” He hummed, nudging his ankle against mine. “Right.” I hummed, leaning for my drink to take a long drink. “Think m’goin in the late lunch direction.” I started, picking the menu up to take a look. “Turkey Club Wrap or something like that.” Mark nodded, looking through his options. “In that case, I’ll go for the arugula and sausage personal pizza.” And put his menu down. “They do draft here right?” He asked, flashing his once charming smile my way. “Yes, y’know they do, we’ve been here before.” I started, leaning forward towards him. “I thought you had something to tell me.” I mused, making sure to keep eye contact with him as I set my menu to the side for the waitress to collect. “Waited an awful long time to hear you rattle off about draft beer.” I quipped, straightening up in my seat, fully laying the ball in his court. Being uncomfortable wasn’t Mark’s strongpoint. Any time he found himself in a compromising situation, he used his sex appeal and charm as a deflection shield. It used to have a colossal effect on me, nowadays it’s once in a while that I give in. Jodie could disagree. He shifted in his spot, opening his mouth before straightening up when he locked eyes with our waitress that was headed our direction, managing to avoid the topic a bit longer when she came to finally take our orders.
By the time we had finished most of our food, I was growing irritated. He still hadn’t come close to talking about last night. And at this point, I was four glasses down, my limbs feeling heavier by the second. It’s not like I was having a shitty time, Mark had always been a great conversationalist. My foggy brain happened to remember the original reason I was even here in the first place. And we hadn’t even scratched the surface, yet the ‘date’ was coming to an end.
Just as I began to bring it up, Mark clasped his hands together when he saw the waitress coming by with the check. “Thank you very much, everything was fantastic.” He praised, pulling his wallet out immediately to hand some bills to her. She smiled, grabbing the plates, “Oh, good! I’ll be right back with your copy.” And off she went again. “Mark.” I hummed, my tongue slurring a bit. “Y’got me drunk and y’didn't even apologise yet.” I grumbled, clearing off my side of the table for the bus boy. Mark smirked, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah, well, I thought that conversation could use a more private setting.” He drawled, grabbing his keys. “Maybe at mine?” He suggested, tilting his head to the side slightly as he watched me consider his offer. “Well, I,” I trailed off, weighing the options. Late lunch at two p.m. turned into dinner nearing seven p.m., and I was still supposed to meet with Jodie later to help her practise her speech for work the next week. “I’d have to tell Jod I’d be a bit late.” I admitted, and Mark grinned, “Perfect!” and set the tip down on the table. “She can keep the extra change too, let’s go.”
We stepped into his apartment and it looked the very same. The same fake plants, the same picture frames of stock black and white photos, some mixed with his family. Nothing had changed, apart from the few things I took when I left. Without the few things he allowed to be put in the living space, it was structured, boxy, stoic, there was no charm. Certainly not the kind of charm Mark exuded on the daily. I always felt his place felt so ingenuine to him. Nothing matched him here at all. “You know where everything is.” He said, opening his closet to set his jacket in and tossed his wallet and keys on the coffee table. I watched as he headed into his kitchen to the liquor cabinet. “Top off?” He asked, grabbing a bottle of vodka and a rocks glass. “Mark, really, that’s okay,” I tried but he shook his head, “Won’t be hearing any of that. One won’t kill ya, will it.” And with that, he passed me the glass and poured it in, pouring himself a glass as well. I sighed, taking the glass and raised it to my lips to take a big swig, knowing I’ll need it.
Mark extended a hand towards the living room and I grabbed the glass, going to take a seat on the couch. “So,” He started, clearing his throat and sat beside me. “Know y’here to talk about last night. And, let me just say I understand that you’re upset,” He began, and I scoffed, interrupting him, “Bit more than upset, Mark.” I clarified, snatching my glass up for another gulp before getting up to get the rest of the bottle. I heard him sigh and wait till I sat back down to continue. “Angry.” He corrected, “A-And you have every right. I shouldn’t have gone to The Stumble. I was drunk and obviously not thinking clearly.” He wrung his fingers in his palms, a nervous tic I picked up on a long time ago. I knew he hated being in the wrong, much like Harry. Seeing how anxious he seemed softened some of the anger I had built up from the “late lunch”, my ass, earlier. I sighed, listening to him ramble on and on, practically repeating himself the longer he went on. I finished my glass and set it down, this time pouring him a glass. “Mark, it’s alright. Well, actually- It isn’t, don’t do it again,” I giggled, feeling heat rise at my cheeks and the tips of my ears. “But, really, you only embarrassed me- in front, o-of everyone-“ I paused, bursting into a fit of laughter, “M’sorry, its really not that f-funny.” I laughed out, a hiccup following suit, causing Mark to laugh as well. “And Daphne!” I laughed out, “Poor Daph saw th’whole thing! She reeaalllyy likes Harry.” And Mark settled a bit after that, his laughter dieing down.
“Y’like Harry?” He asked, and I calmed down as well, “What’d’ya mean?” I hummed, grabbing his glass to take another sip, not really wanting to go down this road. “C’mon, Y/N, don’t make me repeat it.” He sighed, leaning back. I pursed my lips, running a hand through my hair as I thought about my answer. “He’s… Harry- He’s really sweet. A-And,” I paused, trying to find the right words to describe Harry, who, like Jodie, quickly became a significant part of my life. “He makes me laugh, like you wouldn’t believe.” I giggled out at the memory, a stupid smile remaining. Mark cleared his throat, rolling his shoulders back, “You looked really pretty last night, by the way.” He said, wringing his thumb again. I hummed and nodded, “Thank you. Was in my closet for some time.” He nodded as well, setting a hand at my knee, “Really, Y/N. Beautiful.” He murmured, sliding a hand to cup my cheek, shifting closer before leaning in to kiss me. My eyes went wide as I felt his lips press against mine, yet I couldn’t pull away. Mark had so very rarely gave out compliments and my drunk mind and body let the walls down. I moaned softly, leaning back against the couch as he pressed closer and closer, his hand sliding in between my legs. I felt my hips roll at his touch and when he bit down at my lip, I squeaked, muttering an “Ow.” He pulled away, and began kissing down my neck, his fingers landing a little too far to the right to be my clit. “M’sorry, baby. Y’know how excited I get.” He mumbled against my skin, biting down at my neck. “Mark, seriously, quit bitin’” I huffed, relaxing back again when he laid a single kiss over it. “C’mon, s’go to the bedroom.” He mumbled, pulling me to a stand and led me to the back room.
I woke up the next day in Mark's bed, bringing my hand up to my head, I groaned. Small bits of a headache creeping up on me. Mark grumbled, flipping over onto his stomach, “Morning, could y’not be so loud.” He mumbled against the pillows. “Mark, it's the afternoon.” I huffed, swatting at his back. “Where's my phone?” I rasped out, pulling my ruffled shirt that was laid at the end of the bed to my chest as I stood. And exactly what time is it? I need to apologise to Jodie, and Harry, “Oh God, Harry-“ I breathed, scrambling to find my clothes and phone. Mark scoffed, lifting his head up, “S’not what you were saying last night.” I sneered at him, “Shut up, that was the first time in a long time that you’ve made me cum, so, someone finally taught you something. Don’t get cocky.” I snapped, trying to get dressed as fast as possible. “Forgot how mean y’are after drinking.” I groaned, finding my phone finally in the living room. “I’m not mean, you’re just irritating.”
Texts, calls, voicemails, dms, you name it. From Harry the most, then Jodie, Cade called a few times and Daphne tried once. That would be one call, and the single dm. I groaned, not even bothering to say goodbye as I hurried out to my car. I tried Harry first, no answer. Voicemail. I tried Jodie next, who of course answered right away, “Oh my God!” She shrieked, and I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “Are you crazy?! I thought you were dead!” She shouted, continuing on about how she was debating calling the cops on Mark in case he did anything in retaliation. “Jesus, Jod, I’m sorry. I ended up getting drunk, and er- He apologised.” I admitted, clearing my throat and she began shouting again. “We all figured it out, Y/N! Either you two were fucking, or he murdered you.” She said, exasperatingly. “I’m really disappointed in you, so get over here so I can give you a piece of my mind and be thankful you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere.” “Wait! Wait! I’m not showered!” I explained, hoping to at least manage a shower before I went to her house. “You should’ve thought about that before you fucked Mark again.” And with that she hung up. I groaned, changing my course of direction for Jodie’s apartment.
When I walked in, she was standing in front of the door with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping her foot. “You, missy, are in for a mouthful.” And pointed to sit on the couch. “Lot of couch sitting this week.” I grumbled, walking over anyway to hear what she had to say. “Jodie, I really didn’t mean for tha” I tried but she threw her hands up, “I don’t want to hear it! You stood me up, y’lucky this wasn’t a last minute preparation like usual. Cade, Harry and Daphne got drunk and forgot they were planning her party, which isn’t that big of a deal-” She rambled, pacing in front of me as she went on. “And Daphne’s already pretty upset with you after that whole fiasco from the other night, I mean, honestly, Y/N. What are you doing?!” She exclaimed, looking to me for an answer. I bit at my lip, feeling it begin to quiver and my eyes well up, “I’m sorry! I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking clearly, he..” I sighed, wiping at my eyes as Jodie sat down next to me, immediately calming down as she saw the tears falling. “I waited a long time for him to compliment me and mean it. It t-took me by surprise, and I was drunk, and he asked me about Harry, and I-I didn’t know what to say.” I whimpered, shaking my head as she tugged at my arm to get me to lean against her. From the corner of my eye, I could see Daphne rounding the corner to head into the kitchen, she was holding her head too. “Tylenol’s is the bathroom, Daph.” Jodie called from over her shoulder to which Daphne grumbled and filled a glass of water before retreating back down the hallway to the bathroom.
“You’ve got to stop answering him, Y/N. He’s using you, and you let him do it every time. I know you know he doesn’t care about you.” She sighed, rubbing my arm as I cried. “If I have to watch your phone when we’re together, or put you on a damn tracking app, I’ll do it. You’ve got no sense of self control when it comes to Mark.” I swallowed thickly, playing with my fingers. “I just wanted to know why I’m only good enough for one night, I thought he‘d tell me what was so terrible about being with me.” I cried out, leaning forward to bury my hands in my knees when Daphne came back out. “Y’know that’s not true. Mark was never going to be the guy, sweetheart. And you keep trying to fit him into you and he just doesn’t fit. I can’t watch it anymore, Harry can’t watch it anymore-” She started, eyes darting to Daphne, trying to warn her as she began to open her mouth. “No, fuck that, Jodie!” She huffed, turning to face me.
“You know he loves you, right? And that you’re hurting him?” Daphne glared at me, and I furrowed my brows with a sniffle. “Daph..” I started, shaking my head. “Y’don’t understand,” And again she cut me off, “No! You don’t understand!” She shouted, “You’ve got the whole group in some stupid love circle. I really liked Harry, Harry really liked you, you really liked Mark. And for some reason you decided to put everybody through the same misery you feel watching someone you care so strongly for get hurt or want for someone else!” Daphne spat, and I felt my face contort at what she was saying. Anger riling up deep from my gut. “Daph, I’m sorry you saw us outside. It wasn’t supposed to happen, a-and I feel terrible but, you have no right to assume any of what you just said.” A scoff leaves her lips, sending Jodie into mediation for the argument. “Hold on a mo’ girls,” She started but I held a finger up, “You just want everyone to be alone!” I snarled, and when Daphne stood up, I did as well. “Alright! That’s enough!” Jodie shouted, standing on top of her coffee table. “Both of you, sit down. We’re settling this.” She asked, glancing between the two of us, ready if the other pounced.
Daphne scoffed, backing up and shook her head. “F’get it.” She muttered, “I didn’t care Harry wanted you, I care that you’re blowing it away. Y’know,” She started as she gathered her things up to leave. “When we found out where you were? Harry excused himself, said he was afraid he’d drank too much and might puke. I heard him crying, last night, in his room.” Daphne sauntered around, no doubt for effect as she spoke, double checking for her belongings before opening the front door, “I’d never heard cries like that before. So, yeah, I could want everyone to be alone like me. But I for sure don’t want to ever hear heartbreak like that.” And she slammed the door behind her.
I looked at Jodie in disbelief and she sighed, shrugging. “I was getting there, I didn’t wanna drop it on you like that.” I swallowed thickly, looking at my phone as I thought about all the times he called me last night, possibly worried out of his mind. “Jod, w-what do I say to him?” I whimpered, bringing my hands up to my face. “I don’t know, lovie. I didn’t know until Daphne pulled me aside last night. She asked me to leave with her and let her sleep over here so she wouldn’t think about the sound. I-I just… you really fucked up this time. I’d start with calling him? See where he stands and ask to meet up, because you owe him an apology. Stood us both up last night, s’what he kept saying.” She said, “I’ll talk to Daphne, she’s just upset.” I nodded, biting into my lip. “Mind if I grab a shower?” I asked timidly, taking one glance at her irritated face. “I shouldn’t.” She hummed, cracking a smile and nudged my head forward jokingly, “But even I wouldn’t make you beg for forgiveness drenched in another mans stink.” She laughed, grabbing a towel for me and tossed it over. “Go on.”
I stepped out of the shower and headed down the hall to her living room, sniffling still and Jodie immediately snapped her head up at me in concern. I groaned, wrapping my hair in the towel, “Yes, I was crying. Yes, I’m okay now.” I grumbled, going to take my seat on the couch again. Jodie snickered, coming to join me with two cups of tea. “Y’make my job so much easier sometimes.” She teased, handing me my cup. “Sometimes.” She repeated before adding, “So? Did he apologise?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at me. I laughed after taking a sip of the tea, shaking my head at her. “I don’t really think so? He never said the words, just listed how he knew I felt. But, it was so uncomfortable to listen to, so I think I cut him off.” I admitted, shaking my head at the memory. “And then he fucked you?” My jaw dropped at her assumption, “No! He asked about Harry, and… he said I looked beautiful the other night. And,” I took a deep breath, closing my eyes before continuing, “then, he fucked me.” I grumbled, lifting my cup again for another sip.
Jodie groaned, setting her cup down and turned her body to face me. “Alright, enough is enough. We’re figuring this out.” I giggled, turning to face her as well. “What are we figuring out?” Jodie grinned at me, pulling out a game board from underneath her coffee table, finding a dry erase and marker from a charade game. “Pros and cons for both men.” She smiled, holding up the two. “You list them out, I’ll write em down.” I groaned, burying my face into my hands again. “I don’t know, Jod, that feels wrong.” I admitted and she scoffed, shaking her head. “Nonsense, we’re doing it. Go on, start.”
I sighed, looking up to the ceiling as I tried to recall all their traits, figuring out where they’d stand in a column. “Con, Mark works a demanding yet incredibly boring job.” I said definitively, and Jodie smiles again, quickly scribbling it down. “See? Not so hard, is it?” Rolling my eyes, I continued. “Pro, Harry’s extremely funny.” I giggled, listening to Jodie repeat extremely funny as she wrote it down. “Er,” I paused, scratching the back of my head, “Pro, Mark travels, so there's like.. Dunno, that worldly experience?” I tried, earning a unconvinced look from Jodie but began writing it down anyway. “Harry’s been to other places in the world too.” She countered, shrugging condescendingly at me. “Well, speaking another language doesn’t necessarily mean… whatever ‘worldly experience’ warrants.” I argued, folding my arms over my chest. “Pro, Harry’s dependable.” I nodded, looking at her in case she wanted to debunk that one too. “That's a fact.” she replied, giggling before raising the marker up. “I’ve got one!” I furrowed my brows at her, more laughs spilling past my lips. “It isn’t your list, you can’t have one!” I shouted, shaking my head. “Yes I can, watch, Con, Marks boring.” She grinned, scribbling away on the list. I grumbled, crossing my arms over one another again. “Well, explain this to me. Because this is the one thing I can’t figure out.” I huffed, fixing my spot on the couch again. “Every time Mark gets near me, or even,” I sighed, tugging a hand through my drying hair. “Hell, even over the phone, I feel like I can’t breathe, Jodie.” I started out, trying to be careful not to start crying again. “Like he sucks up all the air in the room, and my ears ring. I’m suddenly aware of everything I’m doing. How stupid or silly it looks, and if hes looking at me. My chest gets tight, I-I just. Explain that to me, because I’ve been having a hard time with it myself.”
Jodie looked at me with wide eyes, silent for a moment. “I had no idea it was like that, why didn’t you ever say anything?” She asked, before shaking her head, “S’a conversation for a different day.” Taking a deep breath, she leaned back and set the dry erase board down. “How do you feel around Harry?” She asked carefully, almost rearing back into her seat from the fear of my answer. I tossed my head back, resting it against the back of the sofa, going quiet as well. Throwing my arms up, I groaned exasperatedly. “It’s the complete opposite! Everything slows down, and I don’t feel so rushed. Y’know how, during the holidays, you’re rushing around, trying to get everything packed, racing to get there on time? And then you get there, and you can finally relax. A-And you’re surrounded by your family, some family friends.” I said softly, pursing my lips. “It’s not as, s’gonna sound corny, but, it doesn’t- s’not as mind consuming, not as numbing.” I frowned, looking at my lap as I played with my fingers. “I wish it was different, Jodie. You’ve no idea how many times I wished it was different.” I sighed, shaking my head as she began talking again. “M’dear Y/N,” She hummed, scooting closer and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You’ve got love and dread, terribly confused, lovie.” She giggled out, and I looked at her as if she had three heads. “What are you talking about?” I mumbled, shaking my head at her as I started to grow a bit irritated. Was she not listening?
Jodie glared at me playfully, throwing her hands up in defence. “Woah, woah! Take it easy! Listen to me.” She giggled, going on to explain that the feeling I get when he’s around was my body’s way of saying to stay away from him. “You’ve never felt at ease with Mark. Always worried about what he thought of you. You go into panic mode, s’literally what you just described to me.” She hummed, proud to have cracked the code so easily. “Love isn’t supposed to make you hold your breath until you pass out, love is supposed to relax you. Put you at ease, make y’feel safe? S’this ringing any bells?” She trailed off, spinning her fingers around one another to mimic gears shifting. “You’re saying, I love Harry?” I blinked, tilting my head to one side in thought. “Not Mark…” I mumbled, putting the pieces together. “But-” I started again and Jodie shook her head, closing her eyes. “Noo, no, buts. You’ve been blind this whole time and I’ve given you sight. Tha’s why we need these little chats.” She giggled, elbowing me in the ribs. “S’why you’re the brains of this operation.” I grumbled, shaking my head. “And you’ve got both boys at your feet. Well, Harry more than Mark.” She added, leaning back with another sip of her tea. “I tell you, women kill to be in your shoes.” She giggled, and I huffed, pulling a throw pillow over my face and grumbled out, “What’s so great about little old me?” Jodie laughed, grabbing the pillow and smacking it across my head. “Go ask Harry, idiot!” I gasped, sitting up immediately, “Oh my God, I still haven’t even called him back!” I shouted, jumping up to grab my things, giving a kiss to Jodie's head as I scrambled out a goodbye.
Harry had pulled out all the stops, he was positive he created the perfect environment, for Jodie to rehearse, Daphne and Cade to plan out the party, and for Y/N to decompress from a shitty meeting with Mark. He had four pizzas delivered, went out to get three bottles of wine, Cade was supposed to bring the liquor. He had music playlists created and perfected to whatever mood they ended up in later in the evening. He was proud, his house was clean and looked comfortable, if he did say so himself.
When Cade and Daphne came, he was beaming, ready for a great night. All of his friends together in their own separate worlds under one roof. It made him giddy, excited to watch the friendships of the room blossom in the way they do every night. He loved making memories with them, each person brought so much to the table that no matter what they had planned for the night, it was always a great time. Harry always thought about how lucky he was to have stumbled into a group like this one.
Cade poured out shots while Harry got the music going, “Alright, so, we starting the night before? Like, go into midnight? And then carry on the next night?” Daphne suggested, wriggling her eyebrows to hint to them. “Y’really think we can control ourselves to not get a hangover the next morning?” Cade asked, passing the shot glasses around. “We could,” She said, pointing between her and Harry, “You however, may need some babysitting.” She giggled out, infecting the other two boys with laughter as well. “Bottoms up! Let’s get brainstorming.” She grinned, and all three tipped their glasses up. The three exchanged ideas and places to go for at least a good hour before Harry fell into his chair, tugging at his hair. “Let’s take a break. Need a slice, y’want Daph? Cade? Pizza?” He asked on his way to the kitchen, grinning as Cade gave a thumbs up and Daphne replied with a simple Please!
Harry brought the boxes in, setting them on the dining table, plating them up before handing the plates to the other two. “So,” Cade started before wolfing into his slice. “Who here can explain this whole Mark thing to me?” He asked, looking warily to the others. Daphne groaned, shaking her head, “Cade, y’not missing much. I told you.” She laughed, trying to change the subject for Harry’s sake once she saw the grimace spread across his lips. “What do you want to know?” Harry replied, surprising even himself. The liquor beginning to do his talking for him. Cade glanced in Daphne’s direction, taking a sip from his mixed drink as she shrugged, “Go on, then.” She sighed, picking up her pizza and preparing to sit this one out.
Clearing his throat, Cade leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Well, what’s the big deal? Know m’late to the ordeal, and I thought I understood, but there’s gotta be something I’m missing. What’s so great about him?” He asked, and Harry snorted, nodding at the validity of his question. “S’a beautiful question, Cade. I haven’t figured that out yet. But, they dated just over two years, and Jodie had warned us that she thought he was going to dump her, but,” He sighed, shaking his head and Daphne chimed in, “Y/N always made it seem like they were around the corner of engagement. So, we thought nothin’ of it. Next thing we know, she’s locking herself in her home, crying at bars, ignoring calls..” She sighed, and Harry did his best not to feel sad about the memory. “Jodie even thought she was taking drugs from Mark’s friend. It got really bad, and then,” She trailed off, glancing to Harry who decided to pick up where she left off. “And then Mark asked if they could continue sleeping together, without the relationship.” He admitted, downing the rest of his drink. “It got a little better, at least.” Cade went wide-eyed, looking between Daph and Harry. “Wow, so, that’s why he’s still relevant?” The question had Harry scoffing, “Hardly say relevant. More like, hard to get rid of.” He grumbled, and Daphne chimed in, “Y/N’s having a hard time kicking him to the curb.” She sighed, and Cade furrowed his brows, “Can’t understand how, I always thought he was really boring. He never stayed long when we all went out together. I mean, he’s not really, er, her type?” Cade was confused, he understood a little bit better, but confused all the same. He wanted to ask where Harry came in all of this, and how did that get to her and Harry making out outside the bar, but perhaps that’s a question for Jodie. “S’because he’s not. He’s her mother’s. She introduced them at a dinner party for her fathers job. He’s got familial money.” Harry sighed, getting up to get another drink. “Let’s get back to the brain tank, got a birthday party to plan, haven’t we?” Harry said from the other room, hoping the questions about Mark and Y/N were over.
Jodie came about three hours in, looking frazzled as she searched the apartment before even saying hello. “I thought she’d be here at least!” She huffed, earning puzzled looks from the other friends when they lifted their heads from the ideas they were jotting down. “Hi, guys.” She sighed, dumping her binder and papers on the couch. “She’s not with you?” Harry asked, looking to the door in case she came trailing behind her. “No,” Jodie admitted, pinching her brows together from the fear of where she would actually be. “She’s not.” She sighed, standing to get some pizza. “S’the wine off limits?” She asked, eyeing Harry who shook his head. “No, by all means!” He answered, licking over his lips as his thoughts raced. “D’you know where she is?” He asked again, and Jodie frowned, pouring herself a glass. “She said Mark invited her to his place to apologise in a more ‘private setting.’
Harry felt his stomach lurch, checking his phone for the time but really he wanted to see if she had sent a text. Anything. He refreshed the page, checking to see if maybe she was teasing Mark in the messages and Harry was supposed to join along. Private setting? She would’ve texted, she would’ve said something. “And y’haven’t heard anythin’ from her?” He asked one more time, hoping perhaps he was missing something.. Jodie sighed and shook her head, “No, I haven’t.”
Conversation picked up again but Harry couldn’t pay much attention, too deeply surrounded by his own thoughts. His heart ached because he knew he was right earlier, that she only chose him that one time. And that he’d forever come second place in comparison to Mark. His ears started ringing, and he felt the blood drain from his face, his mouth watering and his stomach flipping. “Think,” He gasped, holding his stomach, “Think m’gonna be sick.” He managed out, taking off down the hall into his room. Bursting through his bathroom door, he made it just in time to the toilet, emptying the contents of whatever was in his stomach.
His forehead leaned against the rim of the toilet while taking staggering breaths, he could still hear the group in the living room continue with their night. Thank God. He thought, since he couldn’t imagine what they’d think. He pushed himself back to lean against the wall. The longer he thought about it, the more sick he felt. The more his heart throbbed against his ribcage, rattling his breathing.
He pushed himself to a stand, wiped his mouth and shuffled back into the room, climbing into bed and curled up, tears threatening to spill. His breaths got more and more shallow, gasping almost before he finally buried his face into the pillow, letting out an anguished cry. He’d never felt like this before, like he’d disappear into the mattress if it was possible. The very thought of Y/N in Mark's bed again had his head pounding, screaming almost at his own stupidity. You knew this would be the case. You can’t be that upset. His conscience mocked, and he groaned, pulling a pillow into his chest to squeeze. “Please,” He whispered after he calmed down, furiously wiping at his eyes, “Leave me alone.” He whimpered, lip quivering as he felt the tears rising back up through his ducts again, falling fast into the material of the pillowcase.
Hours passed, the music died down and Harry hoped they had left. He hadn’t meant to be rude, he just wasn’t in the mood to conversate any longer. His throat hurt, it burned in fact and his body ached to a point it was beginning to numb. He had been staring at the ceiling for what felt like ages, every now and then tears falling from the corner of his eye. He knew. But he didn’t know how shitty it would actually feel.
He wanted to be angrier, he was furious at her there was no doubt, but he wanted to be angry enough to cut off communications, throw her to the wind. But instead, he wallows and worries, concern and anger mixing through his veins like venom. He just wanted her to be happy. Even if he wasn’t the one to do it. All he really knew about it, was that Mark would definitely never make her happy.
Memories flew through his brain of every time Mark let her down, countless times now that he really tried to put his mind to it. Every time he had fallen short, and every time Harry was there. Every time she cried in his arms, every time he’d litter her hairline with kisses and whisper in her ear that it’s not her fault. He hadn’t ever had her fully, but those select evenings made his breaking heart soar, and he realised a piece of her was better than nothing at all.
He could remember almost everything, each time she had called or sent a text. One of his favourite memories had to have been when she had an entire spread of Chinese food due to a cancelled date with Mark.
Harry walked over to his phone after the third ring, towelling his hair dry after getting out of the shower. “‘Lo?” "Are you partial to Chinese?" He could hear her sweet voice ask, with a hint of sadness at the end of her question. "Like, the people?" He asked, raising a brow with a laugh as he walked to his dresser to pick some clothes for the evening. "No, you idiot!" He could hear silverware clattering around as she laughed. "The food! Mark was supposed to come over, but he backed out." She sighed before continuing, "So, I have a lot of Chinese food and no one to eat it with. There's no way I can eat all this on my own, I'd have leftovers for months." She explained, her words dripping with disappointment. "And you want me to come over and help?" He chuckled, setting the call to speakerphone so he could lay it down on the bed to change. “Only if you’re not busy, I know it’s last minute.” She said, chewing at her bottom lip as she began to regret asking. “M’not too busy, love.” He murmured, “Wait, what did he get?” He asked, lifting the phone up again. She laughed, shaking her head. “He didn’t get anything in particular, told me to get a little bit of all the basics. You’ve got your pick of the litter.” Harry frowned, almost letting a growl-esque noise out, instead letting it rumble in his chest. Hearing how boldly Mark could care less about her made him angry. Sure he understood that some women like the nonchalant approach, but Mark was taking it to a whole different level. Playing her like a fiddle. Y/N really couldn’t tell how little she meant to him. If he absolutely had to fuck her, he didn’t have to be agreeing to dates. Or, telling her about the other array of women he’d been with alongside her. Harry dreaded each day that she would finally figure it out, knowing it’d break her. It was something he wasn’t sure he could fully bring her out of, and Mark had better hope Harry didn't get his hands on him when that day came. He sighed and slipped on some shoes before he grabbed his keys. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Harry knocked on the door, letting her know he had arrived, and the door quickly swung open. Harry grinned at the sight of her, and he swore he could feel his heart skipping beats but when his gaze focused, he noticed her nose and eyes were red and he frowned, “Have you been crying?” He asked, hands immediately finding their way to her arms. He couldn’t help it, it was like watching a fawn stuck in a bush, desperate for help. She cleared her scratchy throat and shook her head, before pursing her lips again. “Well, earlier… before I called.” She admitted, shrugging to try and blow it off. “M’okay, Harry. Come on, s’getting cold.” She grinned, taking his hands from her arms and guided him inside. “Just white wine tonight,” Y/N explained, as she grabbed it off the counter.
Harry took a good look around her apartment, something he’d come to enjoy. Each day it looked different, like she would stay up rearranging the little details that hung on the walls, or were tucked into inconspicuous corners of the rooms. But today, he felt her heartbreak. She had laid out tons of blankets, candles, fresh flowers, all for comfort. The Chinese takeout containers laid out in a neat spread on the coffee table. He could tell she planned for a simple night with Mark, a real date. “Y/N..” He mumbled, eyes wide at the sight of her living room. He never imagined in a million years he would witness something so sweet, and honest just completely going to waste. She sighed, turning the lamp on and the ceiling light off. “I know, s’a bit much. I’m sorry, I just, I didn’t have the heart to take it all down.” She explained, nudging his arm with her elbow and offered a weak smile. “C’mon, y’got a favourite movie or something?” She asked and Harry felt his heart sinking, knowing if he had been busy, she’d have sat here alone, surrounded by the reality that someone just didn’t care enough. He sat down, taking a plate and looked through the boxes. “Really did get all the basics.” He tried, flashing a half smile her way before piling his choices on the plate and picked up his glass of wine before finally settling down next to her. “You know it isn’t too much, right? It would’ve been perfect.” He mentioned, biting into a dumpling to avoid her gaze, but from his peripheral vision, nothing could hide the small smile she managed out.
Once they got past the initial shock factor, (Y/N was embarrassed to have been stood up so epically, and Harry blown away by the idiocy of this prick that she apparently loved) they were back to their normal giggly selves. The pair both on their fourth glass of wine, having broken into another bottle already. The movie played in the background, totally forgotten about as they talked and laughed.
“Seriously! Daphne and Jodie were mad at me for a week straight!” She giggled out, as she retold one of, what she called, her best pranks ever. “I’d be pissed too!” Harry agreed, wiping his hands off on a napkin. “My God, think tha’s the hardest I’ve laughed in a minute.” He chuckled, leaning his head on the bottom cushion of the couch. The two hadn’t bothered to sit on the couch, deciding to make the most of her blankets on the floor, which added much needed padding. She giggled, raising a wonton to her mouth for another bite, but squealed as grease poured out, smearing across her lips and chin, eliciting another laugh from Harry. He immediately sat up, grabbing some napkins and leaned forward to wipe her chin off. Her giggles died down, and Harry could feel her stare, both noticing the immediate closeness. He cleared his throat, the intimacy of it bringing a blush to his cheeks, eyes flickering up to hers. She smiled, wiping what was left off her chin before wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him in for a kiss. Harry groaned softly, immediately melting into her, his arms sliding around her waist to bring her into his lap. The kiss was soft, slow and Harry could’ve been reaching, but he felt so much emotion from her, the way she kept herself as close as possible to him, her fingers threading through his hair at the neckline. It sent the hairs there standing up, a chill making it’s way down his body. There was no lust, nothing suggested she wanted more from him yet. He wondered if she could feel his heart hammering against her chest, his cheeks growing a darker shade of red. The wine, beginning to take its full effect. That was when Harry understood he was in love.
Harry adored that memory, he held it close to him the nights she would give Mark another chance. It helped him sleep, like a mother’s lullaby, slowing his heart rate enough to drift to sleep despite the pain he was feeling. Especially now, after crying his eyes out, the corners of them dry and irritated from the ones he tried to wipe away, the memory brought him happiness. And even if it was fraudulent, he didn’t care. Harry would never forget what he thought it could feel like when she loved him too.
[the chinese food memory is so :'( why did i have to hurt myself like that??? there will be a part three and i think that'll be the last one. don't be afraid to send a message if theres something you'd like to read about in the third part. (really i have like three ideas and that could equal anywhere from 1k words to 3k depending on what i do with it, so please, all ideas will be welcomed.)]
"Is this thing on?" Harry squinted his eyes at the camera, shifting the phone back and forth as he tried to set the phone up against the back panel of the counter in the kitchen.
"Does it say live?" Florence asked as she peeked over Harry's shoulder, a curious look on her face.
Harry kept his eyes squinted as he stared down at the comments that started to flood the live Instagram feed. This was the first time that Flo and Harry ever really did something public together. Given that Harry was typically not the kind to do social media, it was his idea to do cooking with Flo. He had always wanted to be apart of it, and this was his chance.
"IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE OH MY GOD"
"I think it's on," Harry chuckled lowly, pulling away from the phone to reveal his blue apron with cherries on it, "Hello, everyone!" His smile turned into an open mouthed grin as he waved at the camera.
"Welcome tooooo---!!" Florence sang out happily as she grabbed her fresh veggies from the counter.
"Cooking with Flo!" Harry did his jazz hands as he sang out with her, a giggle escaping him.
"Feat. Mr. Harry Styles!"
"Okay! So!" Harry clapped his hands as he rubbed them together, looking down at the veggies she laid out with her large knives, "What are we making today?"
"Today, we are making one of my favorite lunches! Fried tomatoes!" Florence smiled wide as she showed off the bruised tomatoes to the camera. Harry awkwardly stood there, staring down into the camera as he watched the comments fly by.
She turned to Harry, "Darling, will you wash these for me?" Harry took the tomatoes, a blush spread across his cheeks with a silent nod.
"Alright, while we are waiting for Harry to clean the tomatoes...." Florence leaned against the counter, staring at the comments going by. Some of them were funny, some were rude and some were just as sweet as a peach, "Are you dreaming? No..." She hummed softly, wiggling her body side to side, pursing her lips as she continued to read.
"What does Harry smell like? Well, right now, sweat. We just got done working out and now we are starving sooo..." Florence giggled as she looked back at Harry, "Isn't that right, darling?"
Harry huffed as he appeared back into the view of the camera, setting the tomatoes down, "Is that what we are calling it now?" He meant to say low enough between the both of them, but damned did the people hear it.
"DID HARRRY REALLY JUST????"
"NO FUCKING WAY"
"GUYS WTFFFF IM SCREMASDSKD"
"Now look what you've done," Florence pouted teasingly as she bumped his arm with his elbow, "You've got them thinking--cheeky!" She scolded the camera with a knife in her hand as she shook it softly.
Harry giggled to himself as he grabbed a knife and rolled a tomato towards him, not commenting on his fuck up. "Alright, so, you lead the way."
"Soo..." Florence stood where the camera could see the both of them, "Alright, you're gonna cut up the tomatoes into thick slices." Her and Harry started to slice up the tomatoes.
"And make sure you don't cut yourself," Harry commented as he showed his fingers tucked under so the knife wouldn't scrape his fingers, "Or that will not be good."
Florence chuckled, finishing up her slices before setting them onto a plate, "Do we cook together often?" She read one of the comments on the screen.
"When I'm not touring, of course, I love to cook," Harry answered with a softened face, pulling a large bowl towards them, "But I can't keep Flo out of the kitchen. Sometimes she kicks me out, even."
"It's because you get in my way sometimes!" She joked teasingly, furrowing her brows, "I mean really guys, you should see him in the kitchen. He's a million places all at once, he even made me spill my pasta on the ground once."
"Heeeey....." Harry pouted, shying from the camera as he bit down onto his lip, "That was an accident..."
"Of course it was, honey, but stay out of my way when I'm cooking--" Florence claps her hands together as she turned back to the kitchen, "Okay so anyways! Now we make our batter! This is what you're going to fry them in so it's important you follow the steps or it'll taste wrong."
Harry rolled his eyes playfully, crossing his arms as he watched her pull out the flour, "Will you open this for me please?"
"Mhm," He hummed as he took the bag.
"Okay so while Harry is opening the bag, I'm going to get two eggs and we are going to--"
A loud popping sound exploded in the air, making Flo jump in fright as her jaw dropped, seeing flour fly through the air. It got all over the counter and her white apron, including her hair and Harry's face.
Harry stood there, embarrassed with wide eyes, glancing towards the camera with flushed cheeks.
"Ummm...." He chuckled lowly, watching Florence's shocked expression as he quickly turned to get a wet rag to clean it up, "And that folks is how you do not open a bag of flour!" He tried to play it off with a nervous chuckle.
She couldn't help but laugh to herself as she took the bowl and dusted the flour into the bowl with her hand, "And this is why Harry isn't allowed in the kitchen most of the time," Flo poked at him playfully, a wide smile on her lips.
"How about I stand here and you do the cooking?" Harry offered while wiping his face off with the rag.
"You can just read the comments, how about that?" Flo giggled.
Harry bit back a smile as he nuzzled himself into the view of the camera, eyes pinched together as the comments flew by. While Flo was gathering the remains of the flour that he had spilled, Harry was reading out the comments out loud.
"Flo---rry. Florry? Flowerry? What is that?" Harry's brows pinched together, looking back at Flo with a crooked smile.
"I think that's our names put together," Flo couldn't hide the smile, which made the comments explode, they were excelling at a pace that Harry couldn't keep up with, "Okay, so Flour--" She showed her bowl, then took two eggs and cracked them into the bowl, "And now you're just going to whisk until it's mixed together, get all the good bits together."
"Flo never lets me cook," Harry responded to a comment with a pout, before standing straight, deciding to stand behind Flo while she whisked.
"What are you doing? I don't trust you to be behind me," She giggled nervously as Harry took her wrists and started to control her like a puppet, "Oh, Christ--!"
"And ya just keep whisking folks! Get it all together!" Harry said with a open mouthed smile, while Flo was trying to hold herself up with the giggles in her stomach, until she fell victim to her giddy feeling and leaned back against Harry's back as she looked up at him with loving eyes.
"You are a proper mess." She whispered just between the both of them with a soft smile, and Harry sighed happily before pressing a wet kiss to her forehead in response.
"You've got some flour in your hair, dear," He whispered back to her, bursting into a giggling fit as she huffed. Flo had done her hair all pretty just for this live, now Harry's gone and ruined it with the exploding bag of flour.
"Bugger off!" She shook him off of her, biting back a smile as she looked back down at the comments, "Yes, he's a proper handful, take him away from me!"
"Are you pawning me off?!" Harry scoffed, and Flo looked back at him, "To your followers?! Of all people!"
"I'd sell you for a salad and two quarters," Flo cleared her throat as Harry pouted, "Anyways! Batter is done, so now you'll just dip the tomato slices into the batter and then fry them! Simple as that!"
Harry took it upon himself to slide the slices into the batter and set them onto a plate while she turned the stove top on. Before starting this live, Harry was a bit nervous to see what everyone was going to say, but they were all quite sweet and open. Some of them losing their minds with keyboard smashes that he couldn't quite read, but they were nice.
They weren't ones to debut a relationship, but it was going to come out at some point. The best part of social media was that if you didn't want to see the headlines, or the gossips, was that you could simply turn your phone off. Harry didn't care much for the headlines, but Flo had her own thing with social media and he wanted to partake in things that makes her happy.
"And now," Flo hummed as she took the camera and set it at the back of the stove so everyone could see her cooking, "Slide them in. You can cook them however you like, but me and Harry like ours a bit crispy."
"I like to dip mine in ranch dressing," Harry wiggled his body into the camera as he showed off a jar of ranch, "It's quite good. I recommend everyone to try it."
"Everyone has their own flaws," Flo patted Harry's shoulder softly with a shake of her head, "And that, Harry, is a flaw. One that you cannot come back from."
"It's good!" Harry defended with a offended look, rolling his eyes playfully, setting the bottle onto the counter as he leaned back into the camera, "Don't listen to Flo. I have an immaculate taste in food."
"Ranch is for salad, not tomatoes!" Flo prodded at him, their dynamic was softly bullying each other all the time, but nobody ever took it to heart. They knew it was all jokes, but there was a mixture of people defending both of them in the comments.
"Am I touring next year?" Harry hummed, pursing his lips softly as he glanced towards his girl that was finishing off the tomatoes, "No, 'm taking a break. I just toured two years straight! If you didn't get tickets for last tour, I will see you very soon. I promise."
"Yes, he's mine for the next year or so!" Flo announced proudly, coming up from behind him as she wrapped her arms around his torso and placed a soft kiss to the side of his head, "And you all know I'm quite greedy, so you'll get him whenever I'm finished with him."
Harry blushed, gazing down at her lovingly as he placed a kiss to the top of her head then trained his eyes on the finished tomatoes, "Are they done?" To which Flo nodded and grabbed one of them and took a bite out of them.
"Mmmm, yummy! Try some!" She giggled, Harry taking a generous bite from it, a low moan escaping him as he nodded his head with a thumbs up, "I am such a good cook!"
"You are, that is delicious, dove." Harry hummed, leaning over to grab another one and popped the whole thing into his mouth with a groan of delight.
"Well, that's it! I hope you guys liked watching us bicker at each other!" Flo grabbed her phone as she placed a kiss to the camera, "I love you guys! Stay safe, healthy, and drink water!"
"Bye guys!" Harry waved off in the background with a smile, and then the live ended and it was just the two of them in the kitchen. Harry sighed softly, coming up from behind her as he hugged her tightly.
"My wonderful cook." He peppered kisses around the shell of her ear, making her chuckle from the feathery tickles of his breath.
"Don't kiss my arse, you're cleaning up the kitchen this time." She turned towards him in his arms, placing a soft kiss to his lips as he sunk down with a pout.
"Damnit, buttering up doesn't help anymore does it?" Harry mumbled softly with a smirk. She rolled her eyes, batting him away with her hands playfully.
Author's Note: It's tree buying day and just because it was dry doesn't mean it wasn't muddy. Harry demands they let the tree settle and wants a practice run for the mistletoe. As always, likes, reblogs, feedback of any variety is accepted and encouraged, loves ya - G x
Word Count: 1.9k
Harry, if you wear those, they’ll get so gross,” Y/N peered down at his white shoes, granted they weren’t perfectly white, they’re definitely worn in, but his thought process of deciding to wear white trainers round a muddy field was blowing her mind a bit.
“It’s dry outside, it surely won’t be that bad,” Harry groaned as he stood up from his seat on the stairs where he was tying his shoelaces, before taking a quick look out the window to see an overcast day, dry but still a little bleak looking.
“Harry,” she deadpanned, “it’s rained for the last week before you came home, the fact it was raining so hard was the reason you were delayed so much coming home.”
God, he hated admitting she was right, in fact not even that she was right, more so that he had been too stupid to think of it himself. So, he sighed, turned and went back upstairs to their walk-in wardrobe and returned with a pair of welly boots in hand that he’d worn maybe 3 times max. He’d bought them for a trip to Glastonbury festival years ago and they never saw light of day when the festival was uncharacteristically warm and dry that year, so they’ve lived in the closet ever since.
“I’ll stick’em in the boot, if it’s that bad when we get there, I’ll put them on,” Harry resigned as he left the boots by the door before approaching Y/N who seemed to be fighting with her coat and helped her adjust the lapels before fastening the button for her with a short kiss that he couldn’t help himself from stealing from her when he was so close to her lips.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his lips before breaking away and slipping her feet into her own wellies as Harry raided through the drawer in their entry table for the set of car keys he wanted. Finding the keyring for the Range Rover, he pulled it out and dangled it in front of Y/N’s face.
“You driving or am I?” he jingled the keys while Y/N gave him a blank stare before adding a quirk to her eyebrow. “Right, stupid question,” Harry huffed out a laugh. Y/N hated driving, despised it really. She passed her test and had her own car and would drive if absolutely necessary and she had no other option but to be perfectly honesty, she’s a proud passenger princess, and Harry loved driving, so who was she to take away to great joy he got from chauffeuring her around.
“Let’s get a move on, eh?” Harry headed to their front door with a quick slap to her bum on route, looking back over his shoulder at her with that signature smirk she loved but also wanted to slap off the side of his face sometimes.
They pulled into a space at the tree farm, and Harry had to admit the place did look muddy. He watched Y/N unfasten her seatbelt and jump from her seat in the car, then sink another 2 inches shorter than she would usually stand as her welly-clad feet sank into the mud. “Bet you’re glad I made you bring those wellies now,” Y/N called back into the car where Harry sat as she wriggled her right foot out of the mud that gripped her shoe.
“Baby, can you please bring my wellies from the boot round to my side?” Harry pouted.
“Nah, get them yourself, see what happens to your white trainers,” she snickered, as she went to slam her door shut.
“Sweets, please!” Harry called as the door shut. He watched her through the window and then the wing mirror as she made her way round to the boot, she was, of course, going to get them for him, but she liked to wind him up just a little bit.
Closing the boot over she made her way round to the driver’s door and popped it open, wellies under her arm, “want me to untie your laces for you too?”
“Right, cheeky,” Harry reached forward and pinched her hip before grabbing the boots, kicking off his own trainers and shoving his trouser leg into the wellies as he pulled them on and got out the car and into the muddy field.
“Welly boots really don’t scream sexy, do they?” Harry asked looking down at himself, his trousers were a bit baggier and hung over the edge of the boots.
“I don’t know, I think you wear it well,” Y/N said grabbing his hand to interlock them as they walked into the main Christmas tree farm.
“Don’t lie,” Harry shot her a look of amusement, if she genuinely thought he was anything close to sexy right, he’s concerned for her welfare.
“No, you’re like a high fashion farmer or roof thatcher or something,” she giggled pulling him along to the little pop-up stall that was selling hot chocolate and bags of reindeer dust for kids.
“A fucking roof thatcher?” Harry exclaimed pulling Y/N backward when she tried to keep walking when Harry stopped dead.
“Aw you know what I mean, like a sexy roof thatcher,” she giggled, “y’know like… country, walking in nature, working with the land, rugged,” she listed off and pretended to fan herself with her free hand.
“You’re a menace,” Harry pulled her into his chest quickly holding both of her hands before bringing his lips to hers, open-mouthed and soft-lipped, he kissed her delicately but still conveyed every drop of love he held for her.
“Mmm, talk gardening tools to me,” she moaned under her breath as he parted from her before they both burst into a fit of giggles.
“Piss off and pick the bloody tree,” Harry laughed dropping her hands and turning her body by her shoulders towards the trees, “I’ll get the hot chocolates. Cream and marshmallows?” he asked her over his shoulder as he walked up to the stall.
“Yes please,” Y/N smiled sweetly before going off to get lost amongst the trees.
Who knew it was so easy to lose someone in a Christmas tree lot? Harry had been walking the aisles for nearly 10 minutes with the near scalding hot chocolates burning his hands through the flimsy cups.
“Y/N/N!” Harry called again, as he entered another row of trees.
“M’here H,” she called back, her voice sounded closer this time, but he still didn’t have an eye on her.
“Saying you’re here, doesn’t help when I can’t see you m’love,” Harry replied as he paced along that aisle of trees, the pine scent combined with the biting cold doing an outstanding job of clearing his sinuses.
“Follow my voice then. Should we play Marco Polo?” Harry heard the grin in her voice as he turned onto her row, seeing her looking up at a tree, inspecting its branches.
“Marco,” he called almost taunting.
Pol-OH! There y’are, gorgeous,” she turned her back, jumping at how close he was to her, as he handed her the hot chocolate, that she clutched with both hands to warm her chilled fingertips. “Mm, thank you,” she sighed after taking a sip letting out a hearty sigh as the sweet liquid warmed her through.
Harry wrapped his free arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side under his arm. “Y’welcome sweetheart, s’this the one then?” he asked looking up at the tree she had stopped in front of.
“Think so, does it look the right height, not too tall, right? I can’t really judge it,” she looked up at him, as Harry took them a step backwards so he could size it up.
“Hmm, yeah, I think so, looks like it’ll go through the front door at least. Nice an’ full too, innit?” Harry responded.
“Well, y’know I’d never pick a sparse tree,” Y/N nudged his hip as they both finished their hot chocolates.
“Want to wait here, then? I’ll go get the guy to give it the chop,” he widened his eyes at the last bit as if they were committing a brutal murder on the tree as Y/N nodded as Harry left to try and work out the maze to find the man with the axe.
“Imagine it falls off the car on the drive home,” Y/N snorted from the passenger seat.
“What?” she was in fits of laughter at Harry’s face at her comment.
“That’s one of those thoughts that should’ve stayed in your head, let’s not speak it into existence, yeah?” Harry rolled his eyes, before reaching over and squeezing her knee, which he knew she hated as she screamed and slapped his hand off her knee.
“Would be funny, though,” she muttered, side-eyeing him.
“I’m sure it would be dead funny when I leave you to pick the tree up off the road,” Harry shot her a faux glare.
“Hysterical ‘cause you’d be the one picking it up, every last needle,” she grinned before reaching over the centre console to press a wet kiss to his cheek with a loud ‘mwah’ to coincide with it as Harry playfully wiped her kiss from his face.
“We’re decorating tomorrow, yeah?” Y/N asked Harry as she shuffled into the living room in her slippers seeing Harry cutting off the last of the wrapping round the tree. Harry had this thing about letting the tree ‘breathe’ over night before wrapping it in lights and baubles.
“Mhmm, I’ve got m’last meeting of the year in the morning, then we’re going all in on the Christmas decorating. I’m talking lights, tinsel, garlands, a shitload of mistletoe kisses if I’m feeling lucky,” he listed off, finishing with a wink before he threw himself down in the couch before reaching for his love and tugging her down between his legs.
Her back hit his chest as his chin hooked over her shoulder as they both stared at the tree that took up the entire window of the living room. If they’re being honest they both misjudged the height of the tree and it barely got through the front door and they did have to give the top a little snip if they have any hope in hell on getting a star on top tomorrow.
“I think y’could be lucky,” Y/N smiled.
“Yeah?” he turned to look at her, his nose brushing her cheek.
“I’ve not got any mistletoe but y’can have a practice now if you fancy,” she turned to face him bumping her nose against his.
“Oh, I fancy alright,” Harry smirked as he crowded over her, lips reaching for hers, tongue tracing her lip as they parted, opening up for him instantly. His tongue caressed hers, pillowy lips moving softly, but no less bruising. He knocked her breathless, as her fingers scrunched his t-shirt pulling him impossibly closer. As she gasped for air, Harry was insatiable as his lips travelled. Stopping at the corner of her lips, her cheek, under her ear and settling with languid licks and soft suckles to her neck.
“Mhm, good practice run, great job,” she panted, fingers coming up to tangle in his hair as his teeth scraped the sensitive skin of her neck. As they were embraced in the scent of fresh pine, if you listened close enough, underneath the pants of their breathing, you could hear the needles of the tree drop against the floor as the tree settled.
A/n : I know you guys hate me, but guess what. Jokes on you cause I hate myself too. I'm sorry I took forever to write this. I know, I'm sorry. As I said my life is shitty rn so I stuck to just reading for a while and I didn't want to write with a wrong state of mind. But I'm back, here is your promised part 2 of Better man.
Warnings : Angst, alcohol mention, lil swearing.
Summary : Harry is a typical asshole rockstar and Y/n is naive and in love with him.
(I'm sorry again for the late. I love you all. Thank you sticking with me.) Part - 1. ( read part 1 before )
-- 6 months later --
This love is a fucking shit show. You fall in love with someone and literally fall, you'll fall and crash, and break your bones but nothing hurts. No matter how toxic the other person is or how shitty they treat you, you will be in that high and can't even feel any of those things. But when you come out of that high, when you start to see the real colours of that person then you will realise the pain. The aftermath is horrible.
After that night when Y/n ended things with Harry she felt numb for few days. She didn't feel anything for a while, she cried that night but later nothing for few days.
But after a week it hit her like a train. Everything, all the things they did, all the memories they had, everything made her cry. She cried and cried and cried until she felt there are no tears left in her anymore.
She was broken, she still didn't understand why she was not enough for him. She still didn't understand why is it that hard for him to love her back. But everything is over so she tried to get over him, she did everything to stop thinking about him.
She gave him her world and he shattered that world into pieces. Obviously it's hard to get over it. She took time but she did it. She changed.
She is over him now.
It's been months, few hard months but she is strong, stronger than ever before. Yes, there were days when she drove around the city and parked her car at some random parking lot and cried there alone in one of his old t-shirts he left at hers because every place reminded him, her house, her balcony, her bedroom, her favorite coffee shop.
But as the time goes by she started to understand that she deserves better than him and she just can't sit and cry for someone who don't even give a single fuck about her.
Eva, her best friend was her biggest support in this process. She made sure Y/n is doing well, she is like sister to Y/n that she never had. Eva used drop by at midnights to check on Y/n. Y/n will be forever thankful for her. She was soo lucky to have her in her life. And Eva never said anything like 'told you so'. Y/n know that she was upset but she understood and Y/n was glad that she did.
And even Sarah understood everything, she made sure Y/n was ok. She couldn't take sides because Harry is also her friend and her boss. But she understood where they both were coming from. She couldn't do more than just consoling them. And Y/n understood.
Now she is healed. She became a better version of her self. She stopped depending on others for her happiness. She started loving herself, which a very big change. She stopped checking about him on social medias or asking about him, trying to know about him.
But it's not completely possible to forget him like that, she still remembered him time to time. After all she loved him with her entire soul. But she made sure that it doesn't break her anymore. But a small part of her heart still beats for him.
While Y/n is healing and getting better Harry is breaking and getting worse.
He left her house that night after staring at her closed bedroom door for a while. He never understood why he didnt say anything. He just left.
For a while he didn't understand why it's hurting him.
He didn't love her or anything, so why is does it feel like some thing or someone is breaking inside ?
He spent many nights thinking about her. About what she might be doing at that particular moment, is she still crying? Or did she finally realised that he is an asshole and forgot him.
He knew he hurt her, but he can't help it. He didn't do that on purpose. He could never do it on purpose. Yes he was a dick to her. But he was afraid, afraid that he might hurt her and himself. His life is a shit show, everyone he meet will be in public's eye. People will make their life hell. He didn't want that to happen to Y/n.
That's one of the reasons. But the main reason was, he was afraid of love. He was afraid of commitment. His past relationships taught him a lot and he was afraid. And Y/n is an angel, she don't deserve him so he kept telling himself that it's not worth it. That he will make their both lives hell. So he just kept doing what they were doing.
You know that feeling? when you find a person who is a walking green flag. But you become a walking red flag because of your past relationships. That's what happened to Harry. They turned him into an asshole, so he stopped thinking about others and became selfish.
But nothing gives an explanation to why he hurt Y/n. He knew that too. He can't give a perfect reason why he hurt her, broke her. He could have left her the moment she told him her feelings but he didn't, he just pretended that nothing happened. A part of him didn't want to leave her.
There were days when he used to sit and wonder why he was such an ass to her.
"Am I that hard to love, Harry ?"
Her words used ring in his eras, he still remembered her eyes when she asked him that. The pain in them, the hurt. He literally used to beat himself whenever he remembered that expression. Thinking why couldn't he answer her at that moment?
He used to drink until he blacked out. He used to drink and sit and cry like a baby in his room. He felt like his heart was breaking into small pieces and he could feel every piece breaking.
He used to cry thinking about her. Tears running down his face, he couldn't figure out why ? He used lock himself in his room and sob thinking about her. Her memories used to kill him. He used to behave like a zombie and it scared everyone. He started to zone out at work, he started skip his studio sessions and spent his time alone thinking about her.
And he finally understood that he love her. He always did, but refused to belive it.
The moment he saw her sitting alone in that party while everyone are drinking and having fun he knew that she is different. As cliché as it sounds he just felt it.
And in the process of getting to know her he like her, a lot. But he never said that to her, they were going casual and he wanted to keep it that way. He tried to be as distant ad possible, he ignored her on purpose. He know if he didn't he will fuck up and fall in love with her. But he did anyways. But now it's too late, he can't do anything other than sit and cry.
He tried to get into contact with her but she blocked him everywhere which he expected and deserved. He used to ask Sarah about her but she said nothing which he also understood.
He was at his worst, he still is after months. He still didn't forget her. He know he can't, she everywhere. He started to see her in every person, no girl is as perfect as her. No one can be a comparison. He wished that he said that to her. Said how much she means to him, how much he love her, how much he adore her. But didn't and now he can't. He don't even know whether she will for give him or not.
It's been months since he actually had fun. He stopped hanging out with his friends and going out a lot. He stopped hooking up with girls, he pretty much stopped everything. And his friend are worried about him because he is not himself so they forced him to go out today.
So here he is, sitting in the bar and pretending to listen to the conversation happening around and sipping on his drink. He could have done this at his house too.
Thats when he saw Eva. He know Eva, he met her a couple of times. She is Y/n's best friend and he also know that she is not a very big fan of him.
She is taking with a blonde guy at the other side of the bar, he swiftly checked if Y/n was here too. But for his disappointment she is not. Eva is alone with that guy.
He contemplated on going to her and talking. It's been months and he don't know how Y/n is doing, and he wanted to knoe very badly. But most probably Eva will not talk to him.
He saw that blonde guy wishpered something and leave. Harry thought it's the right time, if he hesitate now he may never get a chance to know about Y/n. So he excused himself from his friends and his way towards Eva.
"Eva." He called her with a hesitant voice.
She turned and looked at him. She had this unpleasant look on her face which is Harry is not used to, but he know that he deserves it.
"Umm... hi. How are you ? "
She rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Harry? " her tone is uninterested.
"I - I just wanted to say hi." He scratched back of his neck, he is uncomfortable.
"I'm not interested in small talk with you. So if you don't mind." She started to leave.
"Wait" he said in a hurry.
"I just wanted to talk for a minute."
"What do you wanna talk about Harry ? About Y/n ?" She asked in a mocking way.
"Umm. Ye - yes. I just want to know how is she doing ?"
She scoffed "Are you for real?"
He sighed "Look , Eva I'm sorry for everything. I never wanted this to happen this way. I know I'm a dick. I don't deserve her"
"Yes, you really don't." She interrupted him
"I know. But I don't.. I can't get her out of my mind. I just - I just I feel like ... it's killing me. "
She was silent for a moment.
"Look I just wanted know about her, how is she ?"
"Oh she is very happy ,Harry thank you for your concern." She said sarcastically.
"Sorry for what ? For hurting and breaking her heart while you were enjoying with other girls?"
He closed his eyes. Everything hurts, listening to her say those things out hurts even more.
"I know." His voice is shaky. He is on the verge of crying. But he can't.
"Harry, I don't know why you didn't love her, I don't even wanna know. But atleast you could have left before everything went to south. She don't deserve this. You have no idea how much of dick you are." Her anger towards him, and her concern and love towards Y/n is clearly visible in her eyes and voice. And he is kinda happy that Y/n have a friend like Eva.
"I know I ruined her. Bu-"
She cut him with a laugh. A real laugh like he said something funny.
"Ruined her ?" She scoffed.
"You might hurt her or break her heart but you can never ruin or destroy her. She is stronger than you think. Maybe she is an idiot to love someone like you but not weak. No one can ruin her , not even you."
He know that. He know she is strong. He know that his Y/n is stronger than anyone else.
It's silent between them for a minute.
"I need to go." She said and started walking away but stopped after taking a step.
"She doing fine without you. So please don't bother her anymore. " With that she walked away leaving him alone.
It's been two weeks since he talked to Eva. She said Y/n is fine. He is happy to hear that, that's all he want. But he is not sure about trying to not to reach her. He actually tried to many times in all these months but never dared to directly meet her. He also went to her house many times but came back without knocking on the door. He was afraid.
Right now he is sitting in Y/n's favorite cafe. It's one of Y/n's most favorite places. They came here together once. It's a beautiful place, it's really cozy. It's have a welcoming atmosphere and ambience. The rich aroma of coffee hitting his nose and the small chattering of people making him feel better.
He sat at the very end of the cafe. With his coffee infront of him. He came here hoping that he would see her. It's not the first time, he came here many times before to see her but never did. He thought maybe she stopped coming here or he didn't catch her at right time.
He was in his thoughts when he heard the chime of the bell on the front door. He looked up as an instinct, then he saw her.
He saw Y/n coming inside of the cafe. She is beautiful as always. But definitely different, something is missing, at the same time it feels like she has something new in her.
She is wearing a high waist jeans and a red halter top. Her hair got a bit longer than the last time he saw her and she is smiling.
Oh god he missed her smile.
Seeing her here feels a bit surreal to him. He missed her like hell. He missed her smile, her voice, her touch, everything. He just want to run to her and hug her right now but he know that he can't.
He was so caught up on admiring her that he missed to see that there is a guy walking behind her. She was smiling at him, laughing at something he said.
His chest tightened, he breath hitched.
She was with someone, someone that is making her smile and laugh. Someone who is making her happy.
She looked happy.
That guy was handsome brunette and maybe a couple of inches taller than Harry. He have a sharp jawline and a charming smile. Just in a word he looked soo good. And Harry hated that.
They both sat at the far and of the cafe from Harry but he can see them clearly, he can see her smile the way she is looking at him and the way she is soo concentrated on whatever the hell he is saying.
That's the moment he understood that he lost her. He had her for soo long but he kept pushing her and now he lost her.
It felt like his world is completely crumbling right under his feet and there is nothing he can do.
She is happy, he can tell that much. And that's what he want. He made her sad and hurt her a lot and now he wish nothing but happiness to her even if it's leaving her and stepping aside and letting her go.
This is it.
With a sad smile on his face and tears rolling down his cheeks he got up from his seat and went out of the cafe without a single glance back at her.
Meanwhile Y/n didn't know that Harry was in the cafe watching her and left heartbroken. She was busy listening the story the guy in front of her was telling. Noah is telling her about his parents last year's wedding anniversary.
Noah, he is her colleague. He is a very nice guy, handsome and charming. He is a literall dream guy for every girl. The coffee machine in their work place is not working so they just took a break to get some coffee.
He was looking at her with that charming smile and sparkle in his eyes, and she can't help but think about what if she have someone like him in her life, who will understand her and not hurt her. But she couldn't entertain that though for a long time because the minute she think about someone Harry pops up in her brain. His emerald eyes, his beautiful smile. She is over him,yes, but it's not that easy to completely kill the love on him. It'll take time.
"The Coffee here is amazing, thank you for bringing me here, Y/n." Noah said with a sweet smile on his face.
"Your welcome, this is my favorite place. I always come here, it's just soo peaceful here." She smiled at him. She always came here, almost everyday.
He kept looking at her for a while with a smile on his face, she wonderd will he ever stop smiling. His smile is soo beautiful and pleasant it's like a beam of sunshine.
"I'm glad we could get coffee together, but I was wondering would you like to go on a date with me ? Like a real one ?" He asked her with hope in his eyes.
Y/n could feel her heart thumping, she didn't know what to say him. She wanted to go but also she is not quite ready.
"Noah, I- um... I can't. I'm sorry." She said softly.
His smile dropped, she cursed herself for that.
"I'm sorry, I like you. It's not that I don't, I do. But I can't now. "
"Oh. I thought you are single." He said after a beat.
"I am." She said in a kinda sad voice. What is she supposed to say to him? Of course she is single.
Tears are forming in her eyes threatening to fall free, but she can't cry, she won't. She got over crying for him.
It's was silent between them for a bit before Noah spoke again with a soft and gentle tone.
"Did you love him ? "
Y/n looked at his eyes, he have this expression in them that she can't quite describe. His graze was gently and comfortable. He looked at her like he know what she is feeling, he looked at her like he can understand the hurt.
She just nodded head.
He smile again." I don't know what happened or I don't know who the guy was but all I know is that he really hurt you. I can see it in your eyes."
She took a breath and tried to hold her tears, she don't even know why she is crying now. She didn't cry about him in a while, she thought there are no tears left.
"Some thing that my over priced therapy after getting my heart break taught me was 'if you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you will miss finding the one who treats you like a priority. '"
"You are an amazing person, Y/n. Just know that you are worth everything. You should be loved for who you are. Trust me when I say I that I know what you are feeling now. "
After a while they went back to work and Noah never bought up about the date again.
She couldn't help think about Harry for the rest of the day. She restrained herself from thinking about him for soo long, she almost became numb.
She hate him because she still loves him. It's soo hard not to.
He was the one who thaught her how loves feels like, even without himself realising it. He showed how beautiful it is to be loved only but he didn't.
Yes , he ignored her, pushed her but when he is with her he was there, really there for her.
He made her feel like at the top of the world. Not only while having sex, but also when they were alone. He made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the universe while he is with her only to make her feel insecure while he is with others.
That's why she hate him, he made her feel every possible feeling that a human can expirence.
And that's the reason she can't completely let him go. Maybe she is still waiting for the impossible to happen. To feel his love again, real love this time.
It's been two days since Harry saw Y/n in the coffee shop, and he was miserable again.
It's killing him that he lost her. To see her with someone else.
And he exactly understood how Y/n felt when she saw him with others. How hurt and hopeless she felt . At that time he didn't get it , but now he is feeling the same.
He want nothing more than going back into the time and fix everything and tell her how much he love her. But he can't.
He was in his room when he heard the door opening and closing. And after a minute his bedroom door opened and reveled his mother.
Anne came into the room and looked at his son sitting on his bed like a lifeless body. It broke her heart to see her son in that situation tears blured her vision.
"Harry." She called him.
He looked at her and he couldn't hold it back anymore. He just got up from the bed and rushed towards his mother and hugged her.
She hugged him back and ran her hand through his back in a soothing way. No matter how big and famous his become, he will always be her little boy.
"Aww, love. I'm here, I'm here. You are fine." She rubbed circle on his back.
They both were like that for a while. After he calmed down Anne made him sit on the bed and brought him some water.
She sat beside him with a hand on his.
"What happened, honey ? I knew something was wrong, I could sense it for a while. But I never thought it's this bad. Please tell me what it is ?"
He looked at his mother with his blood shot eyes. His eyes, head everything hurts.
"I fucked up, Mum."
He told Anne everything, from the beginning. How he met her, how he hurt her, and how much he love her. Everything, he didn't miss a single detail.
Anne was silent for few minutes, deciding what to tell her son. She know that he is the one who did wrong here, he messed up and hurt an innocent person.
"People don't know what they have until it's gone, but what about me , mum. I knew what I had, but I did nothing about it. I took her love for granted. What am I supposed to do now ?" He asked his mother hoping atleast she can give him a suggestion.
"Have you atleast tried to talk to her ?"
"No." He shook his head. "I'm afraid, afraid that if I go meet her she will not accept my apology and that will be the last time that I will see her."
"I think it's time that you go and talk to her." She said looking at him in the eyes.
"What?" Harry is confused.
"I think you should go and talk to her. Let her know that you feel guilty and Let her know how you really feel."
She squeezed his hand.
"You messed up, Harry. I love you, you are my son but what you did is absolutely wrong. I didn't raise you like this. If you really love her go to her tell her that you are sorry. Let her curse you, be angry at you but you deserve it, you know you deserve it."
"But what if she don't want to listen to me ?" He asked with a hint of fear in his voice.
"Beg her until she does." She said simply.
"And if she don't forgive me ?" He asked again.
"Mmm. There is a possibility for that. But atleast you will not regret later that you didn't even tried . But I hope that's not the case."
Harry looked down at his feet. His mom is right, he atleast should apologise, he has been a coward and didn't dare to meet her, but now he will.
"And Harry, I don't want to higher your expectations but if she really love you she might even give you a second chance. If she does, make sure that she won't regret trusting you again, be a better man to her."
Anne gave him a motherly smile and pushed back his curls falling on his forehead.
"Go, be a man she deserves."
After talking to his mother Harry immediately got into his car and drove to Y/n's place. His nerves were all over the place thinking about all the possible things that can happen.
After a long drive which felt like forever for him he is finally at her place.
He practically sprinted on the steps because he couldn't wait for the elevator and finally he reached her front door.
He took a long breath and knocked on the door and waited but there is no response. He knocked again but there is no movement.
He caught the door Knob and twisted it, the door opened. His silly girl always forgets to lock the doors.
He went inside the house and checked for her.
"Y/n ?" He called but there is no response, he went and checked her bedroom but there is no hint of her.
He returned to the living room, thinking where she might have gone.
He looked around the place again. He found her phone on the coffee table.
She left her phone back, she never leave her phone while she is going out so she might be near. And then it clicked him, he know where she is now.
He closed the door and made his way to the terrace. If she is not in home at this time she definitely will be on terrace. He know how much she like to spend time there.
He got there and looked around to find her. And then he saw her, he could see side of her face. Standing at the corner looking at the moon. Air blowing her hair in an angelic way, moon light and lights from distance made her face glow.
God she is soo beautiful.
He took few steps towards her.
"Y/n." He called her softly.
Her shoulders tensed, but she didn't turn towards him immediately. He can see her taking deep breath from the side angle.
"Love ?" He called again. Now she turned fully towards him.
He took a sharp breath and took in her appearance, she is as beautiful as ever.
"Hi, love." He said hesitantly.
"Hi." She replied without much of and emotion in her voice.
He again took a deep breath and walked two more steps towards her. Luckily she didn't step back.
"I'm getting straight into the point, I already wasted soo much of time and i dont want to any more." He said looking at, and she didn't show any sign of disagreement.
"I'm sorry , love. I really am. I'm an arsehole, a dick, a douche bag. I fucked up, big time. I hurt you. I was soo bad to you. I know , I'm sorry. I regret each and every time I hurt you and I would do anything to make it right. I have been a pussy to come and talk to you all this time. I was afraid so it took me this long." He was rambling at this point. A single tear escaped from his eye.
He took one more step forward ao there is only a little bit of distance between them and fell on his knees in front of her. He bent his head down and wiped his tears and again looked at her. She was also crying, tears are escaping her her eyes too.
"I'm sorry. Im sorry. I'm sorry." He chanted and he let out a soft sob.
"I don't deserve your forgiveness and I don't deserve your love. But god knows what I will do to get both of them again." He breathed out.
"It hurts to loose you. I don't want to loose you." He mumbled mostly to himself.
"You had me, Harry. And I was not enough for you." She talked for the first time.
It felt soo good to hear her voice again after soo long. And he loved the way his name sounded with her voice. He missed it.
"I know , baby. I know. I'm an idiot. And please, you were always enough for me, more than enough but I just couldn't gey my head out of my ass." He said.
"I don't if you are ever going to forgive me or of you are ever going to look at me the same like before. But I want to tell you, I don't want be a coward."
Cool air made them both shiver a bit.
"I love you, Y/n."
" You are my everything, I love you with every fiber in my body. You were always enough for me. I love you for yourself, you are no comparison with all those fake models I get along with. They can never be you. And you are always the most beautiful and amazing and loving person. You deserve the world. Sorry that I couldn't give it to you back then. But I will give you anything to you now if you let me." He completed.
She sucked in a breath, he said the three words that she thought that she will never hear from him.
"I shouldn't be telling you this now, you may have moved on, forgot about me and maybe.... and maybe you are with someone else too." Those words came out like poison from his mouth.
"Do you still love me, Y/n ?" He dared to ask , he actually don't want to know the answer but a part of him still hopes that she love him.
She wiped her tears and cleared her throat.
"Get up, Harry." She said with a straight face.
He got up and stood on his feet again. Because of his height he was towering a little bit over her.
"Do you really think I love someone else ?" She questioned him.
"I saw you with a guy two days back in your favorite cafe. You looked happy." He told her and looked down at their feet.
"You were there ?" She furrowed her brows.
" He was just my friend." She said and he was relieved a bit with that information.
"You really hurt me, Harry. I hate you for that, but I also love you because... because you were the world to me. But you didn't even gave a fuck about me."
He shook his head. Please, "I'm sorry. Don't say that. It hurts." He pleaded.
"I don't know what to do. I'm afraid Harry. I'm tired. Afraid of getting hurt again and tired of feeling hurt. I don't know."
"Baby." He took her soft hand into his.
"I'm sorry. I love you. I should have said this earlier but I didn't. As I said I will do anything to get you back."
They both were silent thinking about everything.
"Can I tell you something?" He asked her.
She nodded her head.
"I can't rewind our life and go back and fix things but I want to start over everything. Let's start everything again, from the beginning. And this time I'll be a better man for you."
She looked at him on awe.
"Can we start over ? We'll become strangers again, we'll introduce each other again, we'll make fresh memories. Only if you want to. I'll leave of you want me to. But remember one thing even if I leave now I will always love you, forever and I'll be waiting for you."
She is speechless, she don't know what to say. She was supposed to be angry at him but the moment she saw him all the anger just flew away. And the minute he fell on his knees and said her that he love her , she completely lost it. Of course she still love him, of course she still want to give him a second chance, but she is afraid.
"I promise that I'll never break your heart again."
He threaded their fingers together and looked at their hands.
"Tell me, love. Will you let me be a better man for you?" He asked all the sincerity hoping she will say yes.
He is worth of a second chance. She thought.
"Yes." She breathed out and smiled.
His smiled reached his eyes for the first time in a long while.
He hugged her. Really tight to the point where she thought she might loose her breath.
"I love you. I love you. I love you." He said and kissed her forehead.
She smiled." But let's take it slow, I still need some time."
"Yes take all the time you want, we'll go as slow you prefer. Im fine with it as long as I know that I have you. Just know that I love you, and will never hurt you again. And one more thing, please get used to me saying I love you a lot. Because I'm not stopping anymore."
He took a step back. "Let's start again."
He stretched his hand out for her. Let me introduce myself. "Hi, my name is Harry."
She laughed at him, thinking about the first time they met.
"Hi, Harry. My name is Y/n."
A/n : well, well, well. Here it is as I promised. Please don't shit at me for the late. I'm not making excuses, but u know why. I'm genuinely sorry.
And , while writing this I reread the 1st part. And I found a shit ton of mistakes and typos, I myself cringed at my work. I'm sorry u guys had to read that shit. But I have my reason. 1. I wrote that whole thing on my phone and I have big thumbs. 2. I blame my autocorrect. I'm sorry, and I hope there are no lot of mistakes here..
Thank you for reading, hope you likes it.
Please like and comment and reblog.
And please please please share your thoughts and talk to me. Pretty please 🥺
HI HI HI sorry it took me literally forever to do a part 2. hope this is worth the wait!!
PART ONE | MASTERLIST | TALK TO ME
people You know I love you, babe.
Harry Styles and girlfriend Y/N L/N pack on the PDA after being spotted on a lunch date in Malibu. This comes just two weeks after the pair stirred up controversy for collaborating on a lingerie collection for Styles’ brand Pleasing. Hit the link in our bio for more.
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harryfan3 conveniently kissing in the middle of the street in front of a bunch of paps, nice
harryfan2 i don’t like who she’s turning him into.
harryfan1 this plus that childish ass ig post she uploaded last week? yikes
harrystan5 guys… can we please go back to having some class
harrygirl1 and we thought the olivia yacht pics were bad😭 now he’s making out in broad daylight
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yourinstagram all i have to say
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emrata exactly 👏👏👏
yourbff at the end of the day she’s thriving
yourinstagram luuuuuuuuuuuv you 💋💋
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harryflorals Harry recently followed model Emrata on Instagram!
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harryfan4 i mean she’s not the greatest but i’d prefer her to y/n
harrystan1 don’t get your hopes up😭 she’s like BFFs with y/n
harryforever he’s going on her podcast i have a friend who helps produce it lol
harryfan8 and what exactly does harry have to say on emrata’s podcast😭😭 that’s so random
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emrata Today on High Low w/ Emrata! I chat with Harry Styles about double standards and the difficulty of trying to correct a media narrative. Spoiler alert: he’s not too appreciative about the social media witch-hunt that’s currently directed at his girlfriend. Stream using the link in my bio.
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harryfan1 oh no. oh no. OH NO
harryfan7 i listened to the full hour podcast so y’all don’t have to lol. he basically told us to fuck off in the nicest way possible. when i get back home i’ll comment some direct quotes here
harryfan7 he said: “It’s obviously hard when you’ve been in the public eye for so long, and people start to feel like you have some sort of obligation to them, or that they somehow know you on a deeply personal level and can dictate what you are or aren’t supposed to do. And that’s not to say everyone is guilty of falling into that mindset—certainly the vast majority of the internet displays nothing but kindness and grace. But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t disappointing to see the public reaction to… certain things lately. It’d be nice if those corners of social media could show a little more compassion, especially towards someone I love.”
harryfan9 honestly he has a point. like i’m definitely guilty of being harsh towards his gfs in the past but hearing him say that really put things into perspective for me
harryfan10 meh still think she’s problematic. yeah maybe we don’t know harry on a deeply personal level 🙄 but we’ve been fans of him for so many years and we know he typically doesn’t act like how he does with her. why is it wrong for us to comment on that?
Better Not Pout ~ A Christmas Short Story* (H.S. + D.OB. + C.E.)
Summary: The year is 1945 and Santa Claus isn't the only man coming to town...
Word Count: 12.9k (oops my bad)
Warnings: Violence, Guns, Mentions of Guns, Brief Gunplay
Harry Styles as Harry Styles
Dylan O'Brien as Clyde Kasper
Chris Evans as Johnny Winters
Have you ever met Santa Claus?
I guess there's really no way to know for sure, is there?
The year is 1945 and truthfully, things have never been better.
You’re a regular performer at The Bees Knees, an underground speakeasy run by Johnny Winters. A powerful man, and quite wealthy, but more than that...your fiancé.
Johnny is the sweetest man you’ve ever met, and you’re no fool not to believe every other woman in town doesn’t envy you. Because not only is he incredibly kind and rich…he’s also exceptionally handsome. And for a town like this is quite unusual.
Now, truth be told, the money doesn’t exactly matter to you, but it certainly matters to your mother, who’s been praying for your financial security since the moment you were born.
And Johnny? Well, he just adores doting on you. Spoiling you beyond your wildest dreams. And no, you don’t need the expensive, luxurious clothes or shiny jewels as long as you have him. But the way the man you’re so madly in love with looks at you when you step out in a new red dress...well, it’s enough to leave you breathless.
So, that's what you’re wearing tonight, even though this night in particular is one of the coldest of the year. December 24th, just one day before Christmas, and even though you can't quite feel your fingers...it’s worth it.
Milton whistles as you’re taking off your coat, making your cheeks burn as bright crimson as the fabric on your figure. But you indulge in the compliment because Milton is one of your oldest and most supportive friends, not to mention a fellow employee of the popular speakeasy.
You’re more than glad to have him around for your performances, finding his familiar face in the crowd of strangers rather comforting. Most people hardly pay you any mind, merely sipping their beverages or engaging in conversation with their friends, but that hardly discourages you.
Because as dull as the crowd might be, you know you have one particular person to look forward to at the end of the night, just after closing.
He’ll lock his office door, call his goodbyes to everyone else, and sweep you into his arms before planting a kiss right on your lips.
Then, he’ll walk you home, where he’ll spend the rest of the night taking the utmost care of you.
“You look as radiant as ever,” Milton calls just as you’re making your way up to the stage.
You laugh, gently dipping your head in thanks as you get situated. “You’re too kind, Milton.”
He winks as he cleans out a glass.
And after a quick chat with the pianist, you’re ready to go.
Your first song, Santa Claus Came in The Spring, is very well received. You’re not normally accompanied by a band, but tonight, Benny Goodman and company are in town.
What exactly are they doing spending their night at The Bees Knees accompanying a little miss nobody? You haven’t the slightest clue, but you’re certainly not about to complain.
Tonight, the room is full of life and infectious holiday spirit as the trumpets play and you sing. Everyone seems to be having a wonderful time and your cheeks begin to hurt from all the excessive smiling.
In fact, you become so engrossed in the joyous moment, that you hardly notice the two mysterious young men enter the room. Sneaking through the door, unnoticed, before making their way toward a table near the back wall.
You only notice when your eyes catch theirs.
You watch their tall, lanky bodies as they make themselves comfortable in the rather hidden booth, nestling into the shadows just before you can really get a good look. However, you do manage to catch the slightest glimpse of their rather rugged and appealing features, a clear sight for sore eyes.
Most of the men before you are much, much older. Their clothes are torn, their skin is stained with dirt, and even a few teeth are missing from the smiles being thrown your way.
But these quiet strangers...now, they're truly something to be admired. Their hair is clean and styled nicely, their smiles are wide and pearly white, and their clothes make it known they come from money.
Despite yourself, you find that you’ve been staring as the band begins to play the final few notes of the lively song but thankfully the young men don't notice. In fact, they seem to be deeply immersed in a hushed conversation, leaning across the table toward each other as if worried someone might overhear.
You can't help but feel curious, wondering what on earth the subject of their imperative discussion could be, but right now, you have a show to perform, and no handsome outsiders are going to distract you.
Jingle Bells is next on the list, and you give it your all. Smiling at the crowd, even shimmying a little, and as you go, you can’t help but notice that the two men have turned their attention to you.
For a moment, you’re tempted to feel nervous under their focused stares, but choose instead to find Milton's kind eyes. He offers an encouraging smile and instantly, you feel at ease.
However, you don’t miss the action out of your peripheral vision as one of the men suddenly stands from the table. He’s casual. Relaxed. Walking along the wall just diagonal to the stage as he fumbles around with something in his pocket. Then, he retrieves what looks to be a cigarette, gently placing it between his lips before striking a match on the wall and bringing it closer.
You watch, almost as if in a daze, as he holds the object secure with his fingers before lowering it ever so slightly to exhale a cloud of white smoke from his mouth.
And as you watch him, you realize…he’s watching you, too. Leaning back against the wall as he continues to smoke, never once averting his gaze as he watches you sing your merry tunes.
Now that he’s not in the shadows, you can see those rugged features a bit better. Thick, curly hair. Green eyes and a strong jaw. Pink lips pursed as they pucker around the object. And tall. Very tall.
You’re not a fool. He’s quite handsome, although he can’t exactly hold a candle to your Johnny. But, still, you’re curious about the attractive man and his companion, who’s now alone at the table.
He also seems to be quite focused on you, but not just you. You and his friend, still smoking a few feet away. His gaze switches between you both relentlessly as he reclines against the booth, arms outstretched above the seat as he legs begin to spread out. But you figure this is more in an attempt to assert dominance than achieve comfort.
And as he moves, a bit of light catches his profile, and you find that he seems to be just as genetically blessed as his friend. Dark, brown hair. A similar shade to that of his eyes, although they almost seem golden under this light. Faint moles are scattered across his face but don’t seem to be too noticeable. If anything, adding to his unique but alluring features.
Unfortunately for you, you find that it’s harder to ignore them now that they’ve spread out, but force yourself to do so, anyway. The fleeting eye contact you’ve already had with the green-eyed devil is far too much for your liking and you decide right then and there that it won’t happen again.
The universe, however, has different plans. And by a twist of cruel fate, the song comes to an abrupt end, effectively closing your set, and forcing your exit off the stage and onto the main floor.
You quickly thank the drunk and scattered crowd, toss a goodbye to the band, and make a beeline for Milton, your only saving grace.
You assume the two men will seek conversation with you, although you hope to be wrong, but aren’t exactly keen on finding out. However, if you seem otherwise engaged in conversation with other company, perhaps that will discourage their advances.
Sweet Milton knows you far too well to miss your nervous habits. Mostly because your excessive chatting tends to give you away, but nevertheless, he always obliges, just as he does now. So, you ramble on and on about how you’ve been hoping for a snowy Christmas and will be far too disappointed if morning comes and the ground remains bare.
And as you chatter on, you catch the way Milton’s eyes drift ever so slightly to the left, just over your shoulder.
You hadn’t been the only one to notice the two strange men, as Milton clocked them the moment they began to stare at his friend. When Johnny isn’t around, he normally takes on the role and responsibility of watching over you, a secondary part of his job, and the moment you’d begun to squirm under their gaze, Milton made their visit his priority.
In fact, he’s done an excellent job of keeping them in his line of sight during your performance, even as you began to approach, but certainty hasn’t missed the way they've continued watching you as you engaged with him in pleasantries over here by the bar.
They don’t seem to be making any immediate moves to come closer, but Milton can tell they’re thinking about it. Are they simply enchanted you? Starstruck by your performance? Or do they know you personally?
You find yourself asking the same questions, but all the wondering leaves you with an odd feeling in your chest and after a moment, you realize you’re being silly. They must know Johnny. Perhaps they have a meeting with him, and they recognize your face from the picture he always keeps on his desk.
And speaking of Johnny, you begin to miss him, quickly looking around for the handsome face that normally makes itself known around this time in the dark bar, although you’re disappointed to find he still hasn’t made his entrance.
You leave Milton to his job, deciding that you’ll wait in Johnny’s office until he arrives. After all, that’s where you’re really most comfortable. So, you grab your coat and make your way for the hallway.
You know the walk like the back of your hand, the signature portraits that line the walls bringing a smile to your lips. Each one is a happy memory. Of Johnny, his friends, his family, and even a photograph of the two of you. He always keeps you close to him. You’re in every inch of this bar.
Of course, that’s not the only photograph he has of you, his favorite being the one he keeps on his desk. He’d taken it himself. He’d told you a joke to make you laugh and you did. You laughed. Loud and giddily as he snapped the photo and declared it was the best one he’s ever taken.
He told you recently that he spends all day staring at it. Long into the midnight hours as he works, memorizing it, making sure it’s perfectly engrained into his mind and heart. His fiancé. His lover. His.
It’s the first thing you reach for when you enter the rather large office, taking a seat in his chair as you bring it closer. You study yourself. You do look happy. Excited. In fact, this photo alone is the perfect representation of what your entire relationship with Johnny is like. And that makes you happy.
The sound of the door shutting rather harshly forces your eyes off the frame and up, snapping toward the other end of the room as your heart leaps.
You’re expecting the gentle face of your darling Johnny.
What you’re not expecting is the green-eyed devil and his alluring friend.
They’ve followed you. You figure this immediately, pulse beginning to race with apprehension as your mind fills with possibilities and explanations.
For a moment, a tense silence settles between the three of you, now alone in this office. The taller one with curly hair strolls in first, lips raising in a devious smirk as he pockets his hands and comes to stop a few feet away.
Thankfully, Johnny’s rather large desk sits between you both, keeping him at a distance although that doesn’t make his presence any less unsettling.
Subconsciously, you lean back into the chair, eyeing him closely as his mischievous expression studies you.
He doesn’t speak. Merely stares. And as he takes his time studying you, you can’t resist glancing over toward the second man.
He’s leaning against the door, now striking a cigarette for himself, hands cupping around the flame as you swallow. But once it’s lit and perched on his lips, he looks up at you, exhaling the smoke in your direction.
You look back at the first stranger and he grins.
"Hi, Sweetheart,” he croons. He has an accent. English. Thick. Deep. "I'm Harry, and this here…is Clyde. We're looking for your fiancé. Think you could tell us where to find him?”
You swallow nervously. His tone, although friendly, is unable to disguise the threat you know lies underneath.
You look back at the other gentleman. Clyde. Who now appears just as smug as his partner. Are they friends of Johnny's? Is he expecting them? You don’t believe you’ve ever seen them before, but you suppose Johnny has tons of friends and clients. It would be nearly impossible to recognize them all.
"I...I don't know," you manage to respond, swallowing once again to clear your nerves. “Uh…I’m sure he’ll be here soon, though.”
The two men exchange a glance, and it’s clear they aren’t satisfied with this answer as Clyde pushes off the door and strides his way toward you and Harry.
With the cigarette resting snugly between his lips, he places his large hands on the desk and leans forward, now only a few inches away.
“Your boy Johnny…owes us some money,” he tells you, firm but oddly soft, and you notice he doesn’t share the same accent as his friend. “And we’re here to collect.”
Your eyes widen. You don’t really know much about the financial side of Johnny’s business. Or really anything about his business at all. He’s been rather good at keeping you out of that part of his life even though now it seems your own life might depend on it.
“I’m…I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” you repeat in offering, willing your voice not to quiver. “And you boys can straighten everything out then.”
Clyde’s eyes seem to sparkle with amusement as his head cocks to the side. “Is that right, hm?” A hum as he dips down even closer. “Well, maybe if he doesn’t get here within the next five minutes…then, we’ll take our payment in the form of you.”
You lean back even further in the chair, desperate to get as far away from this odd man as possible, however, that only seems to amuse him further.
“Problem, Mama?” he asks before Harry glances over.
“Aw. Come on now, Kasper,” he teases, nudging his shoulder against Clyde’s. “Don’t scare her. She’ll be good for us. Won’t you, Kitten? Tell us what we need to know?”
You glance between them again, unsure which one to feel more intimidated by. You’re not quite sure what to do. Do you scream? Do you try and talk them down? You’re not even sure if their threats are mere bluffs or if you should begin to say your last goodbyes.
And where on earth is Johnny?
The only thing you can think to do is reach for the phone and try to call him. But the second your fingers lift from the desk, Clyde reaches for something, too.
Within seconds, his hands are wrapping around the handle of a gun as he brings it out from beneath his coat, pointing the barrel straight at your head as you gasp and withdraw your hand.
“Don’t fucking move, Mama,” he warns, his threat slightly muffled by the cigarette. “Thought you were gonna be good.”
You nod faintly, looking to Harry, almost wishing he would jump in again and tell his friend to relax. But Harry is far too entertained by this turn of events, hands still deep in his pockets as he watches.
“I…I was just going to call him,” you clarify instead, the fear in your voice much too obvious for your liking, but you suppose you can’t exactly help it. “I know you men are in a hurry. Thought I’d…speed up the process.”
Clyde studies you for a moment, smirk fading as his eyes flick across your face. Maybe he suspects a lie, but you know better than to try and pull a fast one on either of them.
And after a moment, he nods, grabbing the cigarette before tossing it to the floor. “Yeah? Go on, then,” he instructs, although the gun remains cocked and aimed now at your chest. “Call your pretty boy. Tell him he’s got visitors.”
With shaking hands, you do as asked, reaching once again for the telephone.
The men lock eyes for a moment until Harry nods and begins to make his way around the desk, stopping right beside your chair.
You freeze as he reaches for the phone as well, beating you to it as he picks it up and hands it to you.
You take in the rather striking green in his pointed gaze as you take the object from him, fingers brushing his ever so gently as a chill runs down your spine.
There’s a moment of silence as you stare at each other, his smile wicked and stance threatening before he places his hand on the edge of the desk and bends down, the smell of his cologne making its way to your nose.
“I’m gonna watch you dial,” he tells you. “Make sure you keep your word. Okay, Kitten?”
If you weren’t so gosh darn scared, you’d quip that you don’t exactly have a choice, but choose to nod instead as you begin dialing Johnny’s number on the rotary phone, the familiar dial tone a lot more ominous under these terrifying circumstances.
Both men watch you closely as you wait for your sweet Johnny’s voice. A sound you find you need more than anything. The need to know he’s coming for you. To save you.
However, his voice never comes, leaving your heart to sink to the floor. He must not be home, which hopefully means he’s on his way.
But he should already be here, you think. After all, where else could he possibly be on Christmas Eve?
After a few more moments, you realize he won’t be answering, and disappointed, you lower the phone from your ear as you look between the strangers cautiously.
“He…he must already be on his way,” you whisper, slowly returning the handle to its cradle. You’re sure not to make any sudden moves, as the gun is still aimed in your direction, but the men don’t seem too upset with this reveal.
In fact, Clyde seems rather pleased, now walking around the desk to join you and Harry on the other side.
Your heart sinks.
He lowers the gun ever so slightly, but you keep on eye on it, anyhow, incredibly weary of his intentions and that damn smile he’s so proudly sporting.
“How much…are you willing to bet on your precious fiancé, hm?” he asks you as he sits on the edge of the table. “How sure are you that he’s gonna come save you tonight?”
You’re trapped between them now. One on either side. Nowhere to go. And you wish more than anything that you could just melt into the chair, or scream for help, or even find the strength to physically fight your way free.
But you just have to hold on a bit longer.
Johnny will come.
“He will,” you say aloud as confidently as possible. “I’m incredibly sure.”
Clyde’s eyebrow lifts as he studies you once again. “Is that right, Mama?”
Once again, the room grows quiet, not even the sound of the ticking clock enough to break the tension.
“Fine,” Clyde declares, now straightening up as he glances at his friend. “I’ll make you a deal, then, yeah? For each minute he’s late…I’ll put an extra bullet through his fucking brain.”
Your stomach drops to your toes, skin suddenly hot and prickly, and you’re tempted to cry but you force yourself to remain unfazed. “And why would you do that if you need him so badly?”
Harry and Clyde exchange a small chuckle, although you don’t see what’s so funny, and you nearly huff at their flippant behavior.
“I don’t need your precious Johnny,” Clyde finally answers coolly. “I just need what’s in his safe.”
It takes a moment for this to register with you but once you realize that these greedy men are putting both their lives at risk over some money…you nearly lose it.
“Oh, how pathetic,” you scoff as your head flicks between them. “He won’t give you a damn thing and you have no business—”
However, you don’t get a chance to finish your furious scolding before Clyde is standing abruptly and wrapping his fingers around your upper arm.
He yanks you from your seat, shoving you back against the bookcase along the wall as he leans in, nose nearly brushing yours.
“I’d be careful how you fucking talk to me, Mama,” he seethes quietly. “Because you might not get the chance to do it again.”
The cadence of his voice is virile and threatening, his breathing heavy, and nostrils flaring as he remains in your personal space to nail his point.
So, you do the only thing you can think of.
It just misses his eye, landing firmly on his cheek, but the second the contact is made, you know he’s furious.
And you couldn’t care less.
His hand immediately leaves your arm to grab your throat, forcing your jaw up and your eyes on him as you suck in a sharp breath.
“You filthy fucking bitch,” he whispers, but his lip quirks up in a smirk. “S’that how you wanna play? Hm? You wanna be bad? Test my patience?”
“Kasper,” Harry suddenly calls from behind you, a semblance of warning in his voice. “Relax, all right? We need her.”
“Mm,” Clyde hums, eyes falling over your features slowly. “No, see…what I need…is for her to keep this pretty, little mouth shut. Otherwise…I’ll have to shut it for her. And wouldn’t that be such a shame?”
You want to be scared. And you are…but you aren’t about to let them know that. Because that’s exactly what they want. They want you to be so scared that you just give up. And maybe in the past, you would have, but you decide right here and now that you will no longer be helpless.
You’ll be their worst fucking nightmare.
“Maybe…if you knew how,” you retort, straightening up despite his grip.
You notice Harry glance down at the floor, attempting to hide his smile as Clyde observes you for a moment, seeming to process this remark as that damned grin of his returns and he chuckles.
Then…his fingers tighten, the pressure almost unbearable. “I guess I could always just squeeze this pretty neck to keep you quiet, yeah? Feel your pulse race beneath my fingertips. Feel the life drain from your body. Watch the light go out in your eyes.”
You feel your head begin to spin, lungs struggling to find air, but his grip remains.
His head tilts as he watches your eyes glaze over. “Or I could put my gun in your mouth. See how chatty you are then, yeah, Mama?”
“But without your gun, how will everyone know you have such a tiny cock?” you ask innocently as his eyes narrow and Harry chuckles.
Clyde glances over his shoulder at the sound, huffing a bit as he grumbles, “Something fucking funny?”
Harry clears his throat and shakes his head once. “Yeah. Think it’s funny how you said Johnny would be here and he’s not.”
He’s looking at you now, indicating the response is yours to answer, and you swallow.
“He’ll be here,” you repeat. “All right? He will.”
“See…you keep saying that,” Harry muses, pushing off the desk to join the two of you still trapped against the bookshelf. “And yet…your noble fiancé still isn’t here to save you.”
“Are you afraid?” Clyde whispers as they both begin to cage you against the wall. “Hm? Are you afraid your precious Johnny won’t be able to keep you safe from the bad men?”
“Or maybe you’re afraid he can’t pay up,” Harry adds, head dipping until you can smell the whiskey on his breath. “And maybe he has to find another way.”
“You gonna be our other way, Mama?” Clyde murmurs, nose brushing your cheek as his voice slips like silk directly into your ear. “You gonna be our consolation prize?”
Your lashes flutter as you will your confidence to remain despite their intimidation tactics and malicious taunts.
However, just before they’re afforded the chance to say anything else, the sound of footsteps begins to echo out in the hall, signaling someone's presence as they grow louder and louder the closer they get.
It has to be. You need it to be.
Harry and Clyde both move away from you, exchanging another glance before Clyde grabs your arm once again and forces you away from the bookcase and back down into the chair.
“You’re gonna sit here, and you’re gonna keep your fucking mouth shut,” he tells you softly, hissing the instruction into your ear just as the door swings open and Johnny walks in.
There’s your sight for sore eyes, you think with relief as he begins to look around the room.
He seems stunned, taking a moment to assess your position and the current situation before he straightens up and smiles.
“Mr. Kasper, Mr. Styles,” he greets as he begins to take off his hat and coat. “What a pleasant surprise. And I see you’ve met my lovely fiancé.”
Truth be told, you hadn’t expected him to grab them by their collars and throw them out the window but you certainly hadn’t expected him to welcome them in with open arms. Two strange men are alone with his future wife in his office in the middle of the night and that doesn’t even concern him a little?
“We’re here to discuss a bit of unfinished business,” Clyde replies, offering what you recognize as a fake smile as he moves the gun subtly behind his back. “We’ve been expecting you.”
“Ah, I see,” Johnny sighs. “Well, fellas, can’t it wait until after Christmas? It’s been a long night and I do need to be getting the lovely lady home for the evening.”
Sensing this might be your only opportunity to get away, or at least move away from these awful men, you quickly stand from the chair. However, you don’t make it very far when Harry’s hand comes down firmly onto your shoulder, shoving you back into the seat.
“I’m afraid the lady…isn’t going anywhere,” he says resolutely as you gasp.
You can practically feel the wind knocked from your lungs, mostly from his touch but ever so slightly from the fear. Johnny finally begins to look confused and concerned while Clyde quickly shoots Harry a rather strange look, eyes narrowed, and lips pursed as if upset.
But Harry merely raises his eyebrow, possibly questioning the expression before Clyde scoffs under his breath and looks back to Johnny.
“Why don’t you have a seat?” Clyde calls, nodding his chin toward the chairs placed opposite the desk. Not exactly a request.
And poor Johnny doesn’t quite seem to understand, head rolling to the side as he glances between the visitors. “Look, fellas, whatever business you have I’m sure can wait until—”
Just as you’d expected, Clyde retrieves the gun from where he’d had it tucked into his belt and raises it into the air at the same time that Harry does the same, pulling out his own weapon as they both aim them straight at Johnny’s head.
You feel your heart leap into your throat as Johnny’s eyes widen, studying the guns carefully before slowly letting his gaze find you.
You try to communicate with him somehow, try to tell him that it’ll be okay, that you’ll be okay, but he doesn’t look at you long enough to notice.
“Have a fucking seat,” Clyde repeats, a bit brasher now, and leaving no room for confusion about his intentions.
Johnny obeys, walking over to the desk hesitantly, eyes on Clyde as he does so. “I’d be careful waving those things around…somebody might get hurt.”
“Oh, I’m fucking counting on it,” Harry retorts as he nods at you. “So, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.“
This forces Johnny to look at you, too, the fear a bit stronger now, and you squeeze your hands together.
It’s gonna be okay.
Once Johnny is sat, Clyde grabs the second chair to the right and spins it around before placing himself down in a straddle.
“Now…” he begins as he lets both hands (and the gun) dangle casually over the back of the seat. “Where’s the safe, Johnny?”
Johnny swallows, focus on the gun. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Clyde smirks. “Sure you do. Down at the club, you said you just got a new safe to hold everything from your latest shipment. Practically bragged about it to the whole goddamn bar, yeah? So…where is it, hm?”
Now, you find your interest peaked, watching closely as Johnny contemplates his answer. You’ve never really known for sure where he gets all his money. You assumed he made most of it from alcohol sales but…you can’t figure out what shipment they might be referring to.
Johnny suddenly looks up. “And what exactly is it you expect to get out of my safe, Mr. Kasper?”
Clyde leans forward, smirk returning to his lips as he whispers, “Everything.”
The tense room is silent for only a moment before Johnny scoffs. “And you think I’d give you a damn penny?” he sneers. “You think you can storm into my office on Christmas Eve and threaten me? Threaten my fiancé? You’ll be arrested before morning, and you’ll never see a fucking red cent.”
You’re terrified to see how Clyde will react, but he doesn’t seem too deterred as he smiles and lifts the gun into the air, aiming it just to the right of Johnny’s head before…he shoots.
The sound is almost deafening, and you hear yourself let out a shriek as the bullet nearly grazes Johnny’s ear and becomes lodged in the wall behind him.
Johnny flinches, eyes squeezing shut and shoulders tensing before he takes a deep breath and straightens up, now pretty smug himself. “You missed.”
Clyde runs his tongue over his lips and shakes his head once. “No. I never fucking miss. That’s your first warning.” He suddenly stands from the chair, tossing it aimlessly to the side. “Where’s the fucking safe, Johnny?”
“Eat my shit.”
You imagine Johnny hoped to shift the power, but you already know Clyde won’t be so easily swayed.
Not until Harry suddenly reaches out for you, yanking you to your feet as he wraps his arm around your stomach to pull you tight against his chest. Next thing you know, you feel the barrel of the gun pressing into your temple as your breath hitches and all eyes turn to you.
Johnny is terrified but Clyde…is outraged.
"The fuck are you doing?" he hisses at his partner, fingers tightening around his own weapon.
You’re surprised by how livid he seems, having assumed this would have always been their plan. But Clyde’s reaction suggests it might not have been, and the longer he glares at Harry, the more irate he seems to become.
“Where is it?” Harry barks to Johnny, ignoring Clyde’s question as he presses the gun further into your skin until you squirm. “Huh? Where the fuck is it?”
“Styles,” Clyde warns under his breath, jaw beginning to clench.
But Harry doesn’t afford him a glance, crazed eyes trained on the man in the chair. “Where is it? Or do you need a little incentive, huh? Need to see her pretty brains all over your goddamn floor?”
“Hey,” Clyde snaps, fingers tightening around his weapon as Harry finally ventures a look over. “Stick to the fucking plan, all right?”
But still, Harry ignores the instruction, arm around your stomach tightening until you can hardly breathe. You gasp, desperately, heart racing as all three men remain frozen to their spots.
Finally, fed up and furious, Harry releases your frigid body, shoving you forward as you stumble and crash to the ground. Johnny quickly stands, attempting to reach for you just as Harry cocks the gun and aims it at his head.
“The safe,” he says simply just as you’re yanked back onto your feet. By Clyde. “Now.”
But before they can move, you shove yourself free of Clyde’s touch and lunge into Johnny’s arms, face burying into his chest as you fight the tears that have been desperately aching to fall all evening.
“My love,” you hear him whisper as he holds your shaking body. “It’s gonna be all right, I promise.”
You nod, finally looking up with a sniffle as you slip your arms around his neck. “I know.”
He looks up, eyes finding Harry’s. “If you need money so fucking badly, there are plenty of other ways—”
The gun fires before he’s even finished his sentence, the loud cracking making you jump once again as a painting that had been hanging on the wall falls to the ground. Another warning shot.
“Johnny,” you whisper instantly, refusing to let this go on any longer. Any further. “Tell them. Please. Please just tell them. I don’t care about the money, I love you. I don’t…I can’t lose you, so please. Please, just tell them.”
You feel him take a deep breath, fingers tight around your waist as the room seems to wait for his final decision.
He remains silent, still contemplating the choice as you glance back at the two dangerous men, just to make sure Harry doesn’t attempt to shoot off Johnny’s tie as his next trick before looking back up at your fiancé.
“Please,” you mouth.
Johnny’s teeth grit. “Under the desk.”
Both men turn to look as Harry steps closer to the table, eyeing it suspiciously. “Fucking where?”
Clyde looks to Johnny, tsking as he lifts the gun. “I promise you don’t want to lie to me.”
You feel Johnny tense beneath your touch, but his placid expression remains put. “Under the desk,” he repeats, thrusting his chin toward the large piece of furniture.
Now they understand, but before they do any investigating, Clyde is reaching for your arm to force you out of Johnny’s embrace and keep you as leverage.
“Show me,” he hisses to Johnny, ushering him forward with the barrel of the gun. “Don’t be dense.”
Johnny quickly sends you a pained look, but you merely nod once, letting him know it’s gonna be okay.
With that, Harry moves to the side as Johnny grabs the edge of the heavy desk and begins to pull it back, the sound of wood scraping against wood rather loud as you wince from your place beside Clyde.
Once it’s been relocated beneath the window, you notice a particular part of the floor is jutting out, the wooden board rather askew.
You, Harry, and Clyde all lean forward as Johnny bends down, wrenches the board up and reveals the hollow hiding place beneath the floor.
Where a black box lies.
He glances at Clyde (and the gun), looking for approval to proceed, and Clyde purses his lips and nods as Johnny reaches out for the combination lock and begins to spin it around.
And after a couple seconds of clicking and turning…the door swings open.
You’d begun to wonder if he’d maybe find a secret gun in the safe but unfortunately, that that doesn’t seem to be the case as Johnny leans back, allowing the two strangers to step closer.
Clyde eyes your fiancé carefully for a moment, perhaps in an effort to see if he’ll try and pull a fast one while their backs are turned, but poor Johnny looks like he’s given up as he slumps toward the desk.
So, the two men return their attention to the safe and everything it holds, from jewels, and gold, and cash to anything else you might desire.
You’re a tad surprised Johnny’s never mentioned how many valuable items he’s had in this very room all this time. You wonder if he’s merely humble or if he simply just doesn’t have a need for such luxuries.
Harry crouches down, greedy hands reaching inside as he grabs stacks of cash and gold bars. He begins lifting them out and placing them on the floor beside him, but with how much has actually accumulated in the safe, it takes him about five minutes to collect everything and place it in a scattered pile.
His eyes practically glow every time he retrieves a new jewel or bag of coins, and even Clyde looks a tad impressed as he watches his partner gather everything together.
And as they look on, Clyde’s hand slips from your arm, setting you free as you quickly exhale a relieved breath and rush to Johnny, slipping back into his embrace as he buries his lips into the crown of your head.
Once everything has been removed from the safe and placed on the ground, Harry grins and looks up at Clyde. “S’fucking mental.”
Clyde’s brows furrow in thought as his head begins to tilt. “Yeah. It’s a good start, Johnny boy.” He turns to the window, eyes flicking between you both. “Now where’s the rest of it?”
Confused, you glance up at Johnny, who frowns. “I don’t know what you mean. That’s all of it.”
Clyde’s lips pull back in a devious smirk as he takes a step toward you both, Johnny’s arm instinctively wrapping a bit tighter as he pulls you away. “Oh, come on now. You know what I want. And you’re gonna fucking give it to me. Isn’t he, Mama?”
He looks to you.
You’re not exactly sure what Clyde’s referring to, but Johnny seems to, and with this threat, his expression falls.
“No,” he seethes quietly. “You can have everything else, but you leave that alone.”
His defiance strikes a nervous pang into your chest, now terrified for your lover as your fingers tangle in his shirt to capture his attention.
“Johnny,” you whisper pleadingly, desperate to have him just obey so these awful men will leave.
Unfortunately for you, however…Clyde notices, his amusement returning as he chuckles. “Your darling fiancé is scared, Johnny. You don’t wanna save her?” He takes a step. “Or is it that you can’t?”
He’s mocking you both and your eyes narrow at the faux sincerity in his voice.
“You could,” he continues. “You could end this all right fucking now. And all you gotta do…is tell me where it is.”
Fed up and terrified, you turn to Johnny, reaching up to clutch his cheeks between your palms as you turn his face to yours.
“Please, Johnny,” you whisper urgently, leaning closer in an attempt to conceal the conversation from the two men who chuckle at your attempt. “Please. I’m scared, and I’m tired, and I don’t care about what you have or what you don’t have. I just want you. I want these awful men to go away, and I want you.”
He’s quiet for a moment, eyes softening as you finally lean forward…and kiss him.
Because something tells you…it might be your last.
Normally, you might feel uncomfortable at such a public display of affection, especially in front of the likes of Harry and Clyde, but right now…you can’t seem to find it in you to care.
You bring Johnny as close as you can, humming against his lips, his soft skin familiar under your fingertips as his hands find your waist. You try to tell him everything you never got to say through this kiss. And you can only hope he understands.
After a moment, you finally pull back, releasing him regretfully as you whisper once more, “Please, Johnny.”
His forehead finds yours. He breathes. He contemplates. But he doesn’t concede.
Finally, Clyde seems to decide he’s had enough, and he scoffs as he reaches for you, fingers weaving in your roots as he tugs you back, your heels catching on the floor as he forces you away from Johnny.
Your back meets his chest as his nose presses to your cheek, breathing heavily as you feel the barrel of the weapon meet your temple once more.
“All right,” he hisses, despite your gasping and Johnny’s clenched jaw. “You’re gonna tell me where it is…or you’re gonna watch me make her bleed. S’that fucking understood, Johnny boy?”
Johnny’s fingers pull into a fist as your chest heaves, lashes fluttering with desperation as Clyde keeps you planted against his body.
“So, which will it be, hm?” he murmurs, the gun now digging into your skin as you choke on a whine, squirming some at the discomfort.
Johnny’s eyes flick down to the weapon and you imagine he’s considering attempting to wrestle it away but you quickly purse your lips, silently pleading with him to just comply.
As the tense seconds tick by, Clyde grows more and more impatient, now releasing his hold on your hair only to sweep it off your shoulder and down your back. He takes a deep breath, nose still pressed firmly to your jaw as a chill runs down your spine.
His lips ghost your ear as his eyes meet Johnny’s and you wonder if all three of them can hear how fast your heart is beating.
“Look at him,” Clyde whispers to you. “Go on, Mama. Just look at your pathetic excuse for a man.”
You swallow, attempting to remain indifferent, but you know Clyde sees right through you.
“Do you really think he cares about you?” he continues tauntingly. “Do you really think…he’ll choose your life over his own?”
“Let her go,” Johnny suddenly seethes, and in retaliation, the gun begins to travel down the side of your jaw and toward your neck before slipping below your chin to tilt your head up by the barrel.
“Since your precious Johnny won’t make a decision, I’ll leave it up to you,” Clyde says softly. “So, tell me, Mama. Would you rather I make him watch me blow your pretty little brains all over the goddamn floor? Or would you rather I make him watch me take you? All for myself?”
“Enough,” Johnny growls, to which Clyde only smirks.
You don’t respond, figuring the question was rather rhetorical and as you shake against Clyde’s body, Johnny finally seems to cave.
He straightens up, sighing as his eyes trail to his left, landing on the photo of you and him that he always keeps on his desk.
The three of you freeze as you look down as well.
“Where?” Harry hisses impatiently, raising his own weapon and aiming it at Johnny’s chest. “Huh? Where?”
“The picture,” Johnny reiterates, nodding toward it. “It’s…it’s in the picture.”
Curious but pleased, Harry begins to reach for it just as Clyde shoves you out of the way and outstretches his hand, plucking the picture frame from the desk just before Harry can reach it.
Johnny quickly grasps onto your arm to steady you, and you smile gratefully before turning your attention to the men now huddling around that familiar photo.
Clyde glances up at you for a moment before slipping the picture frame around and sliding the back of the glass off.
And there, sitting snug against that old photograph…is the biggest fucking diamond you’ve ever seen.
And surrounding this diamond are about hundreds of tinier diamonds and rubies and crystals arranged in a delicate but exquisite pattern to make up one of the most beautiful necklaces you’ve ever laid eyes on.
It practically sparkles under the dim office lights as all four of you keep your eyes on the dainty piece of jewelry in Clyde’s large hands.
He lifts it from the frame, holding it in the air for a moment as he examines it, and Harry begins to grin like the Cheshire cat.
This is what they came for.
You realize it then, both terrified and relieved that this nightmare can finally be over.
“You got what you want,” you hear Johnny hiss. “All right? Now go.”
Clyde nods once as he lowers the necklace and looks over at the tall man, his signature smug disposition returning. “You’re right. We did, didn’t we?”
He looks to you.
And you smile.
You waste no more time as you quickly lift the gun Clyde had discreetly and secretly slipped into your hand a few moments ago and aim it at Johnny’s head.
In a matter of seconds, Johnny begins to register the action, eyes widening as you step back and smile at him. You wonder for just a moment if you’ll feel any remorse for the deception you’ve put him through for the past few months.
But as your gazes meet…you realize you feel nothing but liberation.
You watch him put it together. Realize you’re not who you said you were. Realize his fate.
The shot echoes throughout the room, somehow louder and more permanent than the last two that were fired in this room.
Johnny falls to the ground, blood tricking down his cheek and onto his clean, white shirt as silence settles between the three remaining.
You’d bought him that shirt.
And you smile a bit wider as you watch the life drain from his face.
Clyde is absolutely beaming with pride as he looks over at you. The woman he loves. The woman he fucking adores, holding his gun in your hand as the man that had caused you both so much pain and agony now lays on the ground by your feet.
If Clyde had had it his way, Johnny would have been dead months ago.
But you’d convinced him that Johnny would be much more helpful alive than he would be dead.
And you’re happy to see you were right.
After all, Johnny never would have given up the location of his prized possessions if you hadn’t put in so much time and effort to gain his trust. His affection. In fact, the only reason this entire plan worked so perfectly in the first place is because you’d managed to do what Clyde declared you couldn’t:
Make Johnny fall in love with you.
It bothered the ever-loving shit out of Clyde, though. He despised seeing the love of his life in the arms of another man. Or having to watch you kiss him. Or touch him. Or tell him you loved him. All these months apart nearly drove him mad…but clearly, it was worth the wait.
You’ve done it. Together. Gotten what you’d come for and now—now…it’s finally over. And you can go home. Flee this fucking town and start your lives together.
“The fuck…is going on?” Harry suddenly bellows from his side of the room, and you’re reminded of the last remaining obstacle.
He hadn’t been informed of your involvement. After all, it was none of his goddamn business. He was only ever Clyde’s pawn, even if he was led to believe he was an equal partner.
But Harry was never a partner. And he was certainly never getting half.
You hand the gun back to Clyde, who tucks it behind his belt with a chuckle. “Come on, mate,” he teases mockingly. “Did you really think I’d give you shit?”
Harry’s response is to lift his own weapon without a second thought, lining the barrel up with Clyde’s head as he scoffs, “You bet your fucking ass I did. Half that shit is mine, Kasper. Unless you’d prefer I take it all.”
You work to fight a smirk, glancing down at the floor as the meaningless threat dangles in the air.
Nobody knows Clyde the way you do. And unfortunately for Harry, he has no fucking clue who he’s dealing with.
You look to Clyde as he glances over at you, exchanging a knowing look of love and amusement and my god does it feel good to look at your Clyde again.
You’ve hated having to run into Johnny’s arms. Hated kissing him when you’d rather be kissing your true lover. But it had to be done. It had to. And now? Well, now you can remind him exactly how much you love him. No more hiding, no more lying, and no more games.
With a snort, Clyde reaches for a bag that you’d previously tucked into the corner as he shoves the diamond necklace into his pocket. “Look, Styles. You did a fine job. Did what I asked. But now it’s over, yeah? And if I were you…I’d run on home to my mommy before you get hurt.”
You watch Harry’s expression twist into one of exasperation and disgust as Clyde begins shoving the cash and gold bars into the duffel bag.
And the moment his back is turned, Harry lunges for you, wrapping his arm around your middle for a second time as he drags you toward the door to the office, gun aimed at Clyde threateningly. “Think I’ll take this for my prize instead.”
Clyde straightens up slowly. His jaw is tense, eyes narrowed, and chest beginning to rise and fall quickly.
He’d had one rule for Harry before they left earlier tonight.
The girl was not to be touched.
Clyde had made that abundantly clear. You were to remain untouched by anybody else but him. You were his hostage. His bargaining chip. Not Harry’s.
And now what is Harry doing?
He’s fucking touching you.
For a second time, actually, and you can see that Clyde is about ready to lose his fucking cool the way he’s been desperate to all night.
He’d had to remain indifferent the first time it happened, but now?
Now he’s fucking done.
Your eyes meet his. You’re not scared. You’re not even interested. Bored, if anything. Harry doesn’t scare you. He never has. Because Clyde will stop at nothing to protect you and really…it’s Harry’s funeral.
“Hand me the fucking bag, Kasper,” Harry calls in a threatening growl, fingers digging into your hip before he places the barrel of the gun under your jaw. “Right now, or she’s done.”
Clyde regards him carefully, teeth gritting together as he attempts to control his rage. You’re quite proud of him, if you’re being honest, seeing as you know how…difficult Clyde can be.
He takes a step forward, duffel bag secure in his hand as Harry nods his approval.
“And the fucking necklace, too,” Harry adds as Clyde takes another step.
You know he’s running through his options. You also know that he’d trade the money and jewels for you in a heartbeat but Harry is dumb and slow which means he’ll do exactly what Clyde expects him to.
And he does.
The moment his hold on you loosens so he can grab the bag that Clyde is outstretching to him, Clyde reaches for Harry’s wrist with his other hand, twists it backward toward his arm, and yanks him forward.
Then, he sends his fist straight into Harry’s nose.
Harry’s head is thrown back from the force, and within that time, Clyde retrieves his gun from his belt and you reach for Harry’s, slipping it from his grasp.
In unison, you both point and aim the weapons at Harry’s skull.
The room stills, the sound of Harry’s grunting and heavy breathing growing louder as the blood begins to drip down his chest.
“Go,” Clyde grumbles under his breath, sneaking a sideways glance at you. “Window. Now.”
You don’t move. “No, you need help—”
“It wasn’t a fucking question,” he retorts rather furiously. “All right? I don’t need help, I need you out of here. Grab the fucking bag and go. I’ll take care of him and meet you in the alleyway.”
Your lips purse but you suppose you can’t exactly argue with him. In fact, you never can. “Clyde—”
“I said—“ he begins again when the sound of the door opening pulls their attention from Harry.
“I’m…I’m sorry, I heard a noise,” he calls cautiously before looking down at the floor.
Your heart skips. You hadn’t meant to involve Milton in this mess. You like him. In fact, he’s practically the only man in this entire fucking building you actually liked to see when you came into work.
You watch him put the pieces together. The blood running down Harry’s face. His beloved boss, dead on the floor.
The guns in both of your hands.
He looks at you.
And you can’t exactly find anything to say.
He steps back as you hear Clyde growl under his breath, clearly annoyed by the interruption but you’re more concerned with Milton’s reaction than anything else.
Clyde swings the weapon around until he can point it at Milton, whose eyes grow wide as you quickly reach out to shove Clyde’s wrist out of the way, forcing the barrel to the wall.
“No,” you whisper. “Not him.”
Clyde’s jaw nearly drops. “What—”
“Not him,” you repeat firmly, offering a pointed stare that only he’ll be able to decipher.
A few seconds tick by, quiet and filled with tension, but eventually, Clyde scoffs again and brings the barrel back to Harry.
You glance over your shoulder to see Milton’s look of surprise. You imagine he’s going to run back into the bar and call for help. Perhaps send the rest of the employees in to keep you contained until the police arrive.
What you don’t imagine happening is exactly what happens next.
“Five minutes,” Milton murmurs softly. “I’ll give you five minutes.”
Your brows raise as you realize what he means but before you can even thank him, he’s disappearing into the hallway and returning to the bar.
You don’t have a lot of time now as you turn back to the two men, noticing the way Harry continues to cup his face in the palms of his hands and curse.
Nodding his chin at the bag once again, Clyde meets your eye and offers a silent promise that has you smiling. Then, he bends down toward Harry, weaves his fingers in the British man’s curls, and yanks his head up.
Harry winces but his aggravated glare remains put as he stares at him.
“I said…” Clyde whispers maliciously as he buries the barrel of the gun deep in Harry’s chest. “…don’t fucking touch her.”
And with that…the fourth and final shot.
The sound bounces around the walls of the large office as Clyde then shoves him backward, watching him stumble before falling to the ground as the blood slowly seeps through his shirt, effectively drenching it.
Clyde straightens up, turning to you with a satisfied smile that you can’t help but return. This is your favorite thing about him. His thrill. The look on his face after a job. The look on his face when he meets your eye. The way he loves you.
Things move quickly. Clyde reaches for the window to wrestle it up as you retrieve the duffel bag and scurry to his side. Once everything is ready, you lift the edge of your dress as Clyde takes your hand and helps you over the ledge until you can drop down to the ground outside.
He’s quick to follow, and the moment his feet hit the ground, you both begin to run. You can hear the sound of sirens in the distance, and while you might feel a bit of panic at the impending consequences, you somehow feel alive.
After all…this is everything you’d wanted. And you have it.
And you have him.
You slip through the shadows of town, through the cold air and dark night until you find your sanctum in the dark alleyway Clyde had previously mentioned just in the nick of time.
You feel the surge of adrenaline through your veins as you stop to take a deep breath, laughing a bit at your victory as you put a hand over your heart.
Clyde, however, isn’t as quick to revel in the success, head peeking around the corner as he watches for anything unusual, like a police vehicle that goes flying down the street before pulling into The Bees Knees.
He’s on edge. Alert. Ready to run again and while you admire his practiced precision, you can’t help but hope to put it to better use.
You drop the bag onto the concrete and make your way for him, palms on his cheeks to pull his attention back to you as he grunts.
“What? What are you—” he begins but before he can ask the rather idiotic question, you’re kissing him.
Because you haven’t gotten to kiss him in months and my god have you missed the taste. The feel. The pit in your stomach, the way it drops to your fucking toes when he groans in the back of his throat, wraps his arms around your hips, and tugs you into his chest. Or the way he cups your cheek before grasping the back of your neck to claim you.
Having to kiss Johnny all this time was nearly torture. Sure, he was handsome, but he wasn’t your Clyde. It hurt you just as much as it hurt him to know it was happening. To know he had to say goodbye to you so you could finally get what you both wanted.
And now you can leave this god-forsaken town and start over.
What was only meant to be a tender, loving kiss goes south rather quickly when he takes your body in his hands and spins you around.
You’re pressed to the brick wall, cheek taut with the cold and rough surface as you gasp, palms coming up to help brace you.
You feel his fingers traveling down your spine before fisting in the material of your dress so he can lift it and bunch it up around your waist, revealing your body to him.
The only thing he’s wanted for months.
“You filthy fucking thing,” he whispers, rather delightedly as he ghosts his lips over the outer shell of your ear. “Look at you.”
He finds the material of your underwear and tears it down your legs, and you can’t help but shiver as the frosty air hits your thighs, but the feel of his hands makes it all worthwhile.
“Just dripping for me.” You feel the tips of his fingers begin to travel up the length of your skin. “Power makes you weak, doesn’t it, Mama?”
“Yes,” you whisper. You feel more desperate than you ever have in your entire life. “Yes, Clyde, please—”
His hands tangle in your hair, yanking your head back just to hear you choke on a whine. “Don’t fucking rush me. Waited months for this…gonna take my time on you. And you’re gonna like it.”
And you don’t doubt that you will.
You nod fervently as the sound of the metal clasp on his leather belt echoes through the alleyway. You’re practically shaking with desperation just from the thought as your fingernails begin to scrape down the brick.
He fists his cock in one hand and readjusts your dress in the other. You hear him mumble something under his breath, you’re not sure what, but you don’t even care. You’re just…you’re ready. Which you also imagine is what he truly adores the most about you. The way you’re so ready for him. So needy, and pathetic, and all his.
Normally, he’d take his time. He loves to make a show out of ruining you, but tonight? Tonight, there’s just no time. You both need it too badly. So, he kicks your feet apart, grabs your hip, and thrusts inside, burying to the hilt as you both let out a bawdy groan.
You almost feel the urge to cry at the feel. The stretch, the scratch, the need. Johnny was fine. Adequate. Made better when you imagined his hands as Clyde’s hands but now. It’s better than any imagination.
To your surprise, he stills. As if so overcome by the sensation that he’s not quite sure how to proceed. How to regain control of his own body.
You push back against his chest as a reminder that you’re here, fingers reaching back to find his hair and give it a subtle tug.
“All fucking night,” you hear him whisper before he pulls back and thrusts in once more. “Knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you?”
You’d smirk if you could. You did know what you were doing and you’re happy to see he noticed.
“Spitting in my fucking face,” he tisks. “Challenging me? Being a fucking brat? S’all cause you were so fucking needy for me, wasn’t it, Mama?”
“Maybe,” you whisper, a bit too overcome by this moment to find your voice. “And maybe I knew you’d like it.”
He chuckles, low and deep from the back of his throat. Sadistic. His fingers release the fabric of your dress until they can find the roots of your hair and yank your head back onto his shoulder as you pant.
“Is that right?” he asks you.
You smile weakly.
“Then say it,” he hisses when you don’t reply, and you already know exactly which button to push.
“Say what, hm? How good Johnny felt? How he fucked me? How he got so deep—”
His hand leaves your scalp to wrap around your throat, squeezing until your head spins and your eyes flutter shut. He fucks into you harder—angrier—until you’re choking on the sound of his name and nobody else’s.
“You missed me,” he growls as he finds the tempo that leaves you shaking in his arms. “Missed me. Not him. Missed my cock. The way I fuck you. And you know it.”
You do know it. You do. Nothing will ever compare. Nothing will ever compete. He’s yours. Always. Eternally.
It’s slow and torturous the way he moves. The way he finds his pleasure. The way he gives you yours. He wants you to suffer the way he has all these months, and you can’t exactly blame him.
But you’re begging him, harder, faster, more in your mind as if he’ll actually hear you.
“You love when I fuck you like this.” His nose presses to your cheek as he breathes, your delicate throat a plaything in his touch. “Love when I kill for you. Love when I make you mine—”
You gasp at the ecstasy, hardly able to hear him, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Love me,” he murmurs, and you just about melt into the concrete.
“Yes, Clyde, please,” you beg as his fingers suddenly snap around your neck.
“Quiet,” he commands, glancing toward the street just to make sure the police haven’t found their way here. “You fucking know better than that. You’ll take me and you’ll do it quietly. Understood?”
Your response is to whimper as your nails scratch down the brick walls of the alley.
He grasps onto your jaw, forcing your head to the side. “I said, is that fucking understood?”
“I thought you said to be quiet,” you remind him, rather smugly, and you hear him scoff.
“Oh, is that how you wanna play it?” He releases your throat to take your hips and spin you around quickly between thrusts. Then, he moves back between your legs, hikes your thigh around his waist, and drives back in.
Your head drops back against the wall as you groan, eyes rolling back before you find yourself again. “What…what are—”
“Had to see you,” he grits, forehead finding yours as his arm wraps around to back to hoist you higher. “Had to see this fucking bratty face as I ruined you.”
You’d smile if he wasn’t so determined to make you fall apart, a whine slipping between your lips as his hips snap forward.
After a moment, he releases your leg to find the top of your dress, grasping onto the fabric before ripping it down to reveal your chest.
You can tell he’s been wanting to do this all night. And you’re not a fool. You know your tits look rather exceptional in this dress. Exactly the reason you’d worn it. Not because Johnny loves you in red.
But because Clyde deserved to look at something pretty.
The cold air meets your skin with unforgiving fervor, and you squirm against the brick as Clyde’s eyes fall to the ripped fabric laying so pathetically on your chest.
His head dips, mouth leaving open and sloppy kisses to the beautiful pair before him as his tongue strokes the hardened nipples rather respectfully considering the circumstances.
You run a hand through his dark hair, feeling the way it moves like butter between your fingers. The way he hums against you. The way his lashes flutter.
You’ve missed this.
Suddenly, your grip tightens, yanking his head up until his lips meet yours. And you take. Take the taste of him, the taste of you, the taste of victory.
His hand comes to rest against the wall next to your head as he works to find the perfect rhythm again, your leg making sure to keep tight around his hip.
And as he grasps onto you, keeping you steady, you move your kisses to his throat, whispering, “Nobody, baby. Nobody feels like you do. Nobody.”
Your hands run down his strong back, feeling each muscle as it dips and flexes as he moves. Swallowing his grunts of pleasure and taking each scratch of his nails down your skin.
Johnny was beautiful but Clyde is a beast. You’ve never seen a man like this before—felt a man like this before. Every curve of his body is ethereal, every detail, every touch.
Your palms travel down his spine, lower and lower until you feel something familiar. Something intriguing.
Your smile returns when you realize, slipping it free from his belt with ease, and it’s firm in your hand as if it were made for it.
Clyde doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just doesn’t care with the way he’s so deep into you. Emotionally, physically…but he’s quite literally pulled from his trance when he feels the familiar cool touch of his gun sweeping across his jaw.
He hesitates as his eyes flick to yours but you’re too busy watching the barrel make its way across that beautiful face.
After all, he got to have his fun this evening.
Now it’s your turn.
You bring it to a stop just under his chin, tilting his head up as he exhales a slow breath.
“Mama…” he warns but you only smirk.
This isn’t the first time the deadly weapon has made this an unofficial threesome but it’s certainly the first time you’ve been the one to wield it.
You hate guns…but you love Clyde’s. The way he holds it. The way he aims it. Handles it. The same way you want him to handle you.
Seeing him with it…seeing the way he controls it, controls a room, controls someone’s life…you can’t quite explain what it does to you. The way you turn into his pathetic little whore.
Although you’re not about to argue.
And from the look in his eye, you can tell he adores seeing you hold his gun, too. Especially after watching you shoot Johnny tonight. He nearly took you right there on the desk and it’s a miracle he found a way to resist.
You pull your lip between your teeth as you keep the weapon taut to his clenched jaw, leaning forward ever so slightly to ghost your lips over his. “What’s the matter, Daddy? Does power make you weak?”
You can see the way his pupils nearly double in size, nostrils flaring as his chest heaves.
So, you go in for the kill.
You lean back, fingers dancing over the trigger button, and meet his eye. Your tongue finds the weapon, tracing up the barrel as he seems to freeze in his spot.
You imagine he’s never seen something so erotic, and you’re delighted with the way you’ve stolen the power from him.
His eyes nearly roll back but you don’t look away. You’re slow. Meticulous. From top to bottom, licking until you reach the tip still tucked beneath his chin.
Then…you kiss him.
And he’s so overwhelmed that he growls into your mouth, hand moving to the back of your neck to squeeze. Keeping you close so he can devour you.
The weapon is lowered between your bodies, your focus now on something else entirely when you feel it suddenly snatched from your grasp.
You gasp in surprise but the air immediately vanishes from your lungs when you feel that same tip pressed tight to your clit.
The cold surface of the weapon against the warmest part of your body has you arching your back as you whimper. Clyde has the upper hand again and he’s not about to waste it, lips curling with satisfaction at the look on your face; fear, pleasure, euphoria.
You’ve never looked at another man the way you look at him and he knows it, not planning on wasting that privilege either.
“Is this what you wanted?” he asks softly as he adds the slightest amount of pressure, and your whines increase. “All fucking night? The moment you saw me? Saw my gun? Wanted me to fuck you with it, didn’t you?”
Your nails begin to scratch down your own chest, needing something to ground you in this moment, and his response is to slide the weapon a bit further down your body. Desperate to see it glisten in you, and his smile widens when the moonlight catches the shimmer.
“Fucking looking at you,” he muses when you subconsciously begin to search for it, nearly grinding against it desperately. “So desperate to feel it. To be fucked by it. And what if I do, hm? What if I give you everything you want and fuck you with my gun right here in this alleyway?”
You wonder then how you’re meant to survive. Survive his touch, and his taunts, and his devious desires.
“I thought about it,” he admits quietly, nose brushing yours as he slips the soaked barrel back up your cunt. “Thought about ripping off this pathetic little dress and fucking you right in front of your precious fiancé.”
Oh, how you wish he had.
“You’d have liked that, wouldn’t you, Mama?” he taunts with a smug smile, fingers drumming against the handle. “I know you would. Would have loved to watch him watch me.”
And he’s not wrong. He hardly ever is when it comes to your darkest fantasies, but you can’t quite say you’re in the mood to feed his ego.
“But I decided I’d wait,” he finishes, now pulling the gun away from your dripping clit to leave you empty. “Because after all this time…I’m the only thing that gets to fill you tonight, yeah?”
You nod as he brings the gun back to your mouth, grin devious as he nods his chin at you.
You swipe your tongue all along the barrel, tasting every drop, swallowing ever indication of your need for him. And he’s so fucking proud of you. Grinning like the Cheshire cat at his girl. His.
The moment you’re done, he takes the gun and returns it to his belt, tucking it away safely. And you’re okay with that because the damn bastard is right again. You want to feel him more than anything else. Need to feel him.
So, you grasp onto his face and bring your lips to his, picking up right where you left off. Because as much as you love the power…you love the weakness more.
Well…at least when it comes to him.
He fills you exactly the way you need and you’re higher up that peak than ever before, wanting nothing more than to please him. To make his body shake with pleasure. You know he loves to watch you, watch anything you do, especially when you’re doing it for him.
You bring your hand to your chest, the tips of your fingers dancing along your sternum until you’ve captured his attention. He watches you cup your tit in the palm of your hand before tweaking the hardened nipple firmly. And you pant at the feel, back arching off the brick wall as he groans.
And he whimpers.
And it’s so delicious to hear. To witness. The way he loses his goddamn mind over you. So, you continue on, hand falling down your stomach as his eyes remain glued to the motion. And he watches you take your clit between your fingers and pinch it exactly the way he likes.
That’s what sends him over. Watching you make yourself fall apart. Watching you slide your fingers through. Watching you whine his name while you do this to yourself.
He fills you as he moans, quickly dipping down to kiss you at the last minute, and you indulge in the way he claims you.
After all…you’re all his to fill. To fuck. To taste.
You follow next, with his fingers scraping down your skin, his teeth on your lip, and him so deep inside you that you see stars.
It rips you apart the same way he ripped the dress. Makes your head spin, and toes curl, and makes everything make sense.
He goes harder. Keeps fucking into you as he grasps onto your wrist and forces your fingers into your cunt, making sure you feel everything. For as long as possible. Until you can’t even stand.
There’s a beautiful moment of silence as you both catch your breath. And just for a second, you forget the sirens just a block away. Forget that it’s cold. Forget everything…except each other.
Clyde got more than a diamond necklace tonight.
He got you back.
You sweep the hair off his forehead, attempting to groom the runaway strands so you can really see his eyes.
“I love you,” you tell him, something you’ve been desperate to do for months. “I fucking love you, Clyde.”
He smiles as he kisses you. Because he’s needed to hear it just as much as you’ve needed to say it. “I know, Mama.”
You eventually drop your leg back down to the floor, a bit sore and achy, but so pleased. And in a moment of rare tenderness, he straightens out the bottom of your dress before slipping his jacket down his arms and bringing it around your shoulders.
Mostly to keep you warm, but also to keep your naked and exposed chest away from any peeping eyes.
You grin as you snuggle further into the material, thankful for the heat, and you notice something shift in his eyes.
He reaches into his pants pocket to retrieve the very necklace that started this whole mess. He hadn’t told you about it. Just about the safe. And you’re beginning to realize why.
He presents it to you as your eyes widen, his grin growing three sizes as he reaches around your neck to clasp it shut.
You look down at it with awe, taking it between your fingers to admire the delicate jewels as you nearly gasp.
“You like it?” he whispers, and you catch just a hint of trepidation.
You look up. Laugh. Giddily. “I fucking love it.”
Then, you fling your arms around his neck and kiss him once again.
And right as he begins to suck on your tongue and you consider going at it once more, the clock tower chimes—loudly—through the town.
You both turn toward the sound as his focused expression returns. “We need to go,” he declares before reaching down to grab the duffel back.
However, you only frown, because you can’t even fathom the thought of leaving this blissful moment behind. Not even when it’s all you’ve been working toward. You just want to stay. Forever. With him. In this alleyway.
“Uh huh,” he quickly tisks when he notices. “Better not pout. Or Santa won’t come.”
“Santa already came,” you retort. “All down my leg.”
He rolls his eyes but presses a gentle kiss to your cheek, causing you to blush. Your pout now nowhere to be found.
Then…something strange. Something cold. Landing on your cheek and Clyde’s lips.
Falling. Over and over and over.
You look up into the dark sky as the snow begins to dance its way to the ground, settling quietly and magically over the quiet town. And sending the police away and the townspeople back into their warm homes.
It’s just you and Clyde now in this dark little alleyway.
And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, with a smile, Clyde gives you one last loving look.
A/N: single dad harry is finally here! it took me sooo long to finish this, but its finally done! so i hope you'll like it!
WORD COUNT: 16k
WARNING: sexual content, divorce
SUMMARY: Harry has been crushing on the mother of her daughter's classmate and now that she has divorced, a bake sale finally brings them together.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
Harlow is excitedly humming along to the music that’s flowing from the radio, her legs dangling from the seat, her curly ponytail bouncing with every move of her head as she follows the beat perfectly. Her daddy keeps glancing back at her through the mirror, his smile stretching wider and wider every time she gets more into the song, turning the ride to school into her own private concert.
The little girl’s love for music is no surprise, seeing that her dad is a musician. Harry introduced her to the magical world of music way before she was even born. When she was a baby, there were only two things that could calm her down and end any tantrum she threw: her daddy’s singing and Stevie Nicks’ singing. All tears dried up in an instant as soon as she heard her favorite songs.
It's the first day of school, Harlow is starting second grade and Harry is letting her out of his hold with a heavy heart, though it’s definitely easier than last year. Summer was filled with adventures, giggles and endless hot days spent together. Thanks to Harry’s flexible work schedule he could prioritize his most precious treasure while school was out, his daughter. Harlow spent two weeks with her mother in Chicago, Harry used that time to work like a maniac and make time for all the summer fun for him and his little princess.
Now everything is back to its usual way, Harlow will spend her weekdays in school and Harry will return to the studio like it’s a nine to five job.
He rolls into the school’s parking lot that’s filled with cars, parents dropping off the kids before heading into the office, so most of them are dressed nicely, while Harry is more on the comfortable side in his light-washed jeans, simple t-shirt and knitted cardigan. He has no reason to show up in a suit to record all day in the studio, staring at the panels, directing whatever singer he is working with for the day.
“Alright, end of show,” he chuckles, turning the radio off and getting out he rounds the car to help Harlow out of her seat.
She is wearing her favorite pink dress with her new sneakers and backpack and Harry’s chest swells with pride as he watches her jump out of the car and twirl around in excitement. They walk to the entrance hand in hand, Harlow asks Harry about what’s gonna be for dinner and he promises her to make her favorite if she’ll be a good girl in school.
Students from first to fourth grade usually gather in front of the building, the teachers wait for them in the morning and they go inside together. Harry spots Harlow’s teacher, circled by a few students already, so he knows it’s time to say goodbye.
Squatting down in front of her he fixes her ponytail and then he gathers her small hands in his big ones.
“I’ll see you in the afternoon, okay?”
“Can we get ice-cream on the way home?” she suggests with a cheeky smile, that never fails to warm Harry’s heart.
“Only if you–”
“If I’m a good girl today, I know!” she sighs dramatically. “I will be good, don’t worry.”
“Okay,” he smiles. “Come here, give me a hug.”
Harlow happily throws her arms around her daddy’s neck as he embraces her in a tight hug, breathing in her sweet scent, he presses a few kisses on top of her head before finally letting her go.
“Have a great day, I love you!” he calls out as Harlow is already walking over to her classmates.
“Love you too!” she sings back with a wave and then she is busy greeting her friends she didn’t see all summer.
Harry stands there for a bit longer, watching his daughter in complete awe. He can’t believe the tiny baby he held in his arms on the day she was born is not such an independent, smart little girl. She’s only seven, but she’s taught him so many things, he’ll be forever grateful for her.
“Dylan, wait!” a familiar, stressed voice hits his ears and looking to his right he is witnessing another morning scene, but it’s definitely different from the one he just got to experience with Harlow.
A boy, who is around twelve years old, dressed in all black with his hoodie covering his head is marching away, but he is stopped by the request from his mother behind him, who is busy with a smaller girl.
Harry knows the woman and the little girl too, because it’s Robin, Harlow’s classmate and her mother, Y/N. He remembers, because she caught his eyes straight away at the first parents’ meeting last year. Y/N is the kind of woman who is always so put together, looks stunning, like the CEO of a very important business, but there’s also an exceptional warmth that lingers around her, that makes Harry think that she is an excellent and loving mother to her kids.
Harry could feel himself crush on her the moment she walked into Harlow’s classroom in her pants suit and took a seat near his. He kept looking her way and felt like a school boy all over again.
This morning however, Y/N looks different. She is still gorgeous, don’t get Harry wrong, but something is off about her. She’s in a simple black dress, her attire is spotless as always, but it appears like she’s lost some weight, there are circles under her eyes and he can tell she’s been going through a stressful period probably.
Dylan, the boy, stops with an eye-roll, but doesn’t face his mother who is currently struggling to get Robin to put on her backpack properly.
“Honey, please! I can’t carry it up to the classroom for you!” Y/N begs and the girl whines before eventually taking the straps over her shoulders. Y/N lets out a relieved sigh, fixing her shirt before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Have a good day, I’ll pick you up after school, okay?”
“Okay,” she nods before running off to join her friends. Y/N then steps over to Dylan. They are standing just a few feet away from Harry, so he can hear their conversation, and though he knows he shouldn’t be listening in on them, he just can’t help it.
“How long are you gonna be grumpy?” she asks, walking around the boy to look at him. She reaches out to fix the zipper on his hoodie, but he yanks away from her touch. Harry sees the hurt on her face, but she is great at masking it.
“Can I go?” Dylan asks, not even looking at his mom.
“Can I get a hug?”
“Mom, no!” he whines. “My friends are over there!”
“And you think they don’t hug their mom?”
“Not in public!” he retorts. Y/N clenches her jaw and decides to just let it go.
“Alright. I’ll pick you and Robin up after school, okay? Have a good day.”
“Bye,” he mumbles and walks over to his group of friends without even looking at his mother.
Y/N stands there and Harry could feel her disappointment and sadness, even as an outsider. It seems like Dylan has just reached the gates of puberty, which came with an immense amount of hate towards his parents, or at least his mother. His heart breaks for her, because something is telling him she did nothing to deserve to be treated like this, but pre-teens are just impossible sometimes.
For a moment he thinks about walking up to her and asking if she’s okay, but right when the thought is about to turn into action, she looks down at her watch and realizes how late it is.
“Oh shit,” she mumbles and turning around she runs back to her car, jumps in and drives away in a hurry.
Harry glances at the kids one last time, they are heading inside and he spots Harlow with Robin. He smiles and then slowly walks back to his car.
Of course, Harlow gets ice-cream when Harry picks her up after school. They stop by the park too and then head home to make dinner. She tells him all about her day and while Harry cooks she is on FaceTime with Frankie, her mom.
Co-parenting is now as easy as breathing air, they’ve been doing it for almost five years now. People tend to find it odd that Harlow lives with her dad and visits Frankie three times a year for longer periods, once in the summer, once in winter break and once in the spring usually. Between these occasions Frankie tends to visit too on weekends whenever she has the time.
She is a doctor, her working hours are crazy and she knew it well when she and Harry decided to part ways. Harry has always been the flexible one and they both knew he would be more stable when it comes to raising Harlow.
They might not be married anymore, but they still have love for each other and want to focus on what matters: Harlow.
“Daddy, here,” she runs into the kitchen with Harry’s phone in hand.
“Thank you, Love. Put it on the table, please. Food is almost ready.”
“Dad, did you and mom get a divorce?” she asks, taking her usual seat at the dining table, waiting for her dinner patiently. Harry stops for a moment, afraid where this might go, but he promised himself to always be honest with her.
“Yes. Years ago. Why?”
“Robin said her parents got a divorce too.”
His ears perk up, remembering the scene he witnessed this morning. He grabs two plates and pills them with pasta.
“Really? Is she sad about it?”
“Kind of. She’s just sad her dad moved out. She said her brother wanted to live with him, but their mom didn’t let him.”
“Hmm, I’m sure she has her reasons,” he says, placing the food on the table as he joins her. “So they are living with their mom now?”
“Yeah. Their dad visits every second weekend.”
“That sounds great.”
A divorce would very well explain the change he noticed about Y/N. The weightloss, the stress on her face, the circles under her eyes, it must have been challenging, managing a divorce and adjusting to becoming a single parent. Harry can’t help, but wonder what resulted in the end of her marriage.
“Be nice to Robin, okay? She is going through a tough time,” he softly says.
“We’re friends,” Harlow smiles proudly.
“You are? That’s great,” he smiles back and leaning over he presses a kiss to the crown of her head.
That night, when Harlow is sleeping Harry can’t help but let his curiosity take over. Sitting by his desk he pulls up the list of Harlow’s classmate’s names the teacher sent out last year and he looks up Robin’s name, her mom’s name and phone number next to it. Every parent got this list for emergencies, but Harry now uses it for something entirely different.
He types Y/N’s name into the search bar and scrolls through the results. Not everything is relevant, but a few links down he finds an article from last year that mentions her name and when he opens it he is met with a photo of her, so he knows he is at the right place. Harry finds out that she is an architect and she worked on some quite prestigious projects in the past, she is obviously good at what she is doing.
He falls down the rabbithole and looks up anything he can find about her. She has an introduction page on her company’s website, then he finds himself hopping over to social media and though it takes some time, he manages to find an Instagram page that, for his luck, is public. There are just a handful of photos from the past six years, but Harry thoroughly examines them all.
Y/N with a group of her friends, old pictures of Robin from when she was a toddler, but her face is never revealed, Dylan is seen in some too, there are some pictures of a lake and the same two dogs a few times and Harry wonders if they are hers or maybe a relative’s. A couple of selfies where she looks just as gorgeous as now and then there are the pictures with her husband.
Or ex husband, to be exact.
There are only three pictures, one at what appeared to be a wedding, one at some kind of dinner and one with the kids. It’s the last one where he is pictured and it’s from over a year ago. No trace of the man since then, and she doesn’t have a lot of other photos either, she hasn’t updated her profile in what appears to be months.
Harry is not quite the nosy type, but this time, he is dying to know more about Y/N and the lack of information is eating him away. He goes back and forth between the pictures where she can be seen and the longer he is staring at them the more he wants to know.
He is not an expert in social media, so as he is stalking her profile he accidentally taps on the follow button and when he realizes, his stomach drops.
“Fuck,” he breathes out and his first instinct is to unfollow her, but he knows that she probbaly has the notification sitting on her lockscreen, so there’s no use. At last, he just curses himself out and accepts it.
To stop himself from making it worse, he goes offline and gets ready to go to bed so he doesn’t feel like absolute shit in the morning. His phone lies discarded on his nightstand in the meantime and he doesn’t notice the new notification until he is in bed and wants to set an alarm for the morning. He’s surprised to see a notification from Instagram about a new follower.
Y/N has followed him back.
Reuniting with Harlow in the afternoon is Harry’s favorite part of the day. Seeing his little girl running towards him and jumping into his arms is something he wishes to experience every day for the rest of his life, though he knows these occasions are numbered so he is drinking up every moment of it.
Today is no different, Harlow starts sprinting towards Harry the moment she spots him, a toothy grin stretched across her rosy cheeks as she practically smashes against her daddy.
“Hi dad!” she giggles as he lifts her up from the ground easily, holding her in one arm, his free hand taking her backpack off her shoulders. He doesn’t notice, but some moms around them yearningly watch as he holds his daughter with ease, some are having gentle thoughts about their father-daughter bond, but some are definitely hiding dirty fantasies about the single dad who is a well-liked figure among the mothers. Most of the time Harry doesn’t even process the stares he gets, and when he does, he chooses to ignore them.
“Hey Princess, how was your day?” he asks, carrying her towards the car.
“Good. How was your day?” she asks back.
“I missed you,” he sighs dramatically, earning a kiss on the cheek from the girl in his arm.
“Do you just sit around all day and miss me?” she sassily asks and Harry barks out a laugh as he puts her down so she can climb into the car.
“That’s exactly what I do while you’re at school,” he grins, strapping her in before taking his seat behind the wheel.
“Oh, I have news for you, dad,” Harlow announces, as they are slowly inching their way out of the full parking lot.
“Yeah? Tell me!”
“We’re having a bake sale soon and I signed you up!”
“Oh, wow!” he smiles. He doesn’t mind helping out and baking is actually a hobby of his.
“And this year parents are pairing up for it so I signed you up with Robin’s mom!” she adds and Harry almost steps on the break hearing this little detail.
“Robin’s mom? Really?” he asks with wide eyes.
“Yeah,” she nods, oblivious to why her dad is so shocked about it.
Harry thinks about how he followed her on Instagram the other day, the panic he felt and then seeing her follow him back even though they haven’t really talked, he faintly remembers them exchanging a few words at a parents’ meeting, but nothing more. Now they will have to bake together.
It will either go painfully awkwardly, or something good might come out of it. He’ll have to wait and see.
He is in the studio when he gets a text from a number he doesn’t recognize. He sees the screen lighting up, but he is in the middle of a session so he discards it until they go on a short break. When he finally has the time to have a look at it, excitement rushes through his veins.
UNKNOWN: Hey! It’s Y/N, Robin’s mom from Harlow’s class. Apparently we were signed up together to bake for the bake sale. Maybe we could meet up for a coffee sometime to plan out what we’re gonna do!
Harry is quick to type a response back.
HARRY: Sure! I’m flexible, whenever it’s good for you, I’ll make it work!
He doesn’t expect a fast reply since he didn’t answer straight away and he imagines she’s busy at work, but his phone lights up just seconds later.
Y/N: Great! :) Tomorrow at one?
HARRY: Perfect. :)
They exchange a few more texts about the place and then the conversation ends, they both go back to their day. And Harry is looking forward to meeting her as if it was Christmas coming up.
It’s not a date.
He keeps reminding himself, but it feels like he is getting ready for a date. The first one in what feels like a century. It’s also his first crush, dating and pursuing women in general hasn’t been on his agenda since before he started dating Frankie, which was over a decade ago. Even after his marriage ended, he was so focused on Harlow and his work that he simply didn’t have time to meet women and go out on dates.
But this is not a date.
He is just meeting a woman for coffee to talk about baking.
He leaves the studio a little earlier than needed so he is not late. The café they chose is near Y/N’s workplace, since she only has an hour to spare before she needs to be in a meeting. Walking in he scans over the menu and orders a simple black coffee along with two muffins before taking a seat at a table.
Y/N arrives not even five minutes later. She strolls in wearing a blue pants suit, her purse in one hand, phone in the other as she looks around and eventually spots Harry.
“Hi! Have you been here for long?” she asks, checking the time, but she arrived perfectly on time.
“No, just a few minutes,” Harry smiles at her standing up from the table to greet her, though there’s a pause as neither of them knows how to. Handshake? Kiss on the cheek? Hug?
At last they meet for a short, kind of half hug before she sets her purse down on the other chair.
“I’ll get a coffee and then we can talk.”
Harry watches her walk up to the counter, she asks for a latte and then types away on her phone while waiting. She looks a tiny bit more collected than the last time he saw her, but he can tell she’s had less stressful days before. When she returns to the table she places her phone facing down and turns all of her attention to Harry.
“Harry, I’ll be honest with you, I’m terrible at baking,” she admits first thing with a chuckle.
“Well, then we might be a great duo, because I’m actually pretty good at it.”
“Oh, then you’re my hero,” she chuckles. “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t the happiest when Robin said she signed me up, life has been… a bit hectic lately, baking stands after the last thing on my list,” she huffs. “But I’m glad I don’t have to do it alone,” she adds with a small smile.
“It’ll be fun! The girls can have a playdate in the meantime.”
“Ah, that would be amazing,” she sighs in relief. “When is the bake sale?”
“Um, on the tenth, in two weeks, I think.”
“Alright, I guess we should make everything fresh, right?”
“That would be ideal,” he nods.
“Great. Would you mind it if we did it at my place? I don’t have anywhere to put my son and I really don’t want to leave him home alone,” she sighs.
“Sure, no problem.”
“I promise I have everything we need despite my poor baking skills,” she jokes. “But Dylan is…”
“Y/N, no need to explain. I’m happy to go over so you don’t have to worry about him.”
They discuss what they plan to bake and what ingredients they’ll need and how they will split the shopping part. Harry finds it that Y/N is easy to talk to and she tries her best to be flexible and work together with him the best way possible.
“Okay, so muffins, chocolate chip cookies and brownies it is. We’re playing it safe,” she chuckles, summarizing their plan. “Gosh, muffins used to be Dylan’s favorite, but I feel like he would scream at me if I gave them any,” she huffs and Harry notices the sadness that flashes through her face.
“Um, I’m not trying to be nosy and we practically just met, but Harlow mentioned that Robin told her you just got divorced? I’m sure it’s been a tough time and I’m sorry too, going through a divorce is challenging even if you part ways in peace.”
The smile fades from her lips as she looks down at her drink with a tiny nod.
“You’re divorced too?” she asks.
She stays silent and stares into her drink that’s half empty by now. Folding her arms over her chest she lets out a shaky breath.
“Does it get better?” she asks and there’s so much behind those simple words and Harry can feel the weight of them. Harry reaches over and places a warm hand on her arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“It does. I know it seems like you’re stuck now, or even going backwards, but you’ll get through it.”
Their eyes meet and hold each other’s gaze for a few heartbeats and in that moment they both leave that café and enter somewhere safe and hopeful. Then the barista calls out someone’s name for their order and the moment is gone. Harry clears his throat and busies himself with his empty cup before they venture to another, lighter topic.
They sit around for a little longer, just like two friends talking over a nice coffee, but then it’s time for Y/N to go back to the office.
“Harry, it’s been so nice! I’m not really friends with any of the moms from Robin’s class, but I feel like we’ll be a good team,” she smirks as Harry opens the door for her and they step out of the café.
“I’m not really friends with anyone either,” he smiles softly.
“What? I thought moms are fighting for your attention,” she barks out a laugh, but Harry just furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head as he looks back at her. “Come on, you’re known as the hot dad around school grounds.”
His eyebrows raise at her blunt comment and she realizes he’s been truly oblivious to the stares and whispers behind his back from mothers that don’t get what they want from their husband.
“Oh wow, sorry, this is awkward now,” she chuckles nervously, realizing it might have been weird to hear it.
“No worries, I was just… not aware that I’m even known,” he chuckles.
“You haven’t noticed the stares? Mothers ogle you like crazy whenever you pick Harlow up.”
“I’m usually more focused on her,” he admits bashfully. “So I’m the hot dad. Good to know.”
It’s obvious that Y/N feels awkward that she was the one who delivered the news to him, but Harry finds it cute, the way she bites into her bottom lip.
“I really need to get back now. I’ll see you soon, I guess,” she switches quickly, checking the time.
“Sure, have a great day, Y/N,” he smiles and he pulls her into a short hug before they part ways.
Harry thinks about how it felt like when she was pressed up against his chest, even if it was just for one second.
“Okay, I might have gone a little overboard with the decoration,” Harry admits, as Y/N is inspecting the millions of sprinkles, candies and chocolate chips on the counter, laughing happily like a little kid.
“No, this is amazing!” she chuckles. “They will turn out amazing!”
Harry blushes and he’s glad she doesn’t find it weird how overboard he went with the shopping. He’s been looking forward to their work together, mostly because he couldn’t wait to see Y/N again, but he was also excited about the baking part.
Harlow and Robin are in the living room, watching The Little Mermaid and playing, Dylan is hiding somewhere in his bedroom and the adults are taking over the kitchen. Y/N is in a more casual outfit, but she still took his breath away when she opened the door and welcomed them. In a pair of loose jeans and a simple, gray sweater, she still looks incredibly stylish and put-together.
“Alright, you’re the boss today, I’m just assisting,” she smiles, one hand on her hip, the other one on the counter. Harry thinks about how badly he wants to grab her by her waist and pull her in for a kiss, so he gulps hard, forcing himself to focus on the baking.
“Okay. Then let’s start with the cookies.”
They find their rhythm easily, Harry is moving around in her kitchen as if it’s not his first time here and Y/N does everything he asks her perfectly. They are, indeed, an amazing team. While they work they talk and laugh and have a blast, as if they’ve been good friends since forever.
When it’s time to decorate they ask the girls to help them and they happily cover everything in sprinkles, going all out with the supplies Harry bought.
Once everything is done, they box them up so they can easily take them to the school tomorrow. It’s still not too late and the girls are having so much fun that the parents decide to let the playdate last a little longer, so they share some iced tea and have a chat sitting by the kitchen island. It’s all fun and joy until Dylan comes down to drink something. He marches into the kitchen, ees glued to the ground, ignoring everyone else as he walks over to the fridge.
“Dylan, say hi to Harry. You didn’t even come down to greet our guests,” Y/N tells him, earning the most annoyed groan Harry has ever heard.
The boy stops and turns around standing like a stone, clearly irritated that someone even said a word to him.
“Hi,” he grumbles before turning back to the fridge right away to grab himself a can of coke.
“Dylan, no coke after six, you know the rule,” Y/N warns him, to which he just tosses the can back and slams the fridge shut.
Harry can feel the tension spiking and he’s quietly observing the scene in front of him.
“Drink some water, or there’s some tea left in the–”
“I don’t want tea or water, I want coke!” he whines. “Dad lets me drink coke whenever I want!”
“Well, then I’ll need to have a chat with your father,” Y/N comments under her breath. “Water, Dylan. Drink water,” she repeats, the boy rolls his eyes and grabs a bottle of water before storming out of the kitchen. “God, this is a disaster, I’m sorry,” she groans, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“No need to apologize. You both are going through a tough time.”
“But it feels way worse than what I was expecting. I knew it would be hard, but… And Will is absolutely no partner in the process, he is trying to play the victim, like I’m the monster for destroying our family when he is the one who fuck three women in the past two years.”
Harry’s eyes widen at the blunt information about her marriage and though he never met this Will guy, he knows he is a total idiot. He has to be if he cheated on a woman like Y/N with three different women.
“Wow, that sounds… awful,” Harry admits truthfully. “How did you… May I ask how you found out?”
“He accidentally paid for a romantic getaway with the wrong card and I saw everything he paid for, the hotel, the food and drinks and of course, the couple's massage. He was supposed to be at a conference that weekend. I did some digging after that and then confronted him. He tried to deny it, but it’s hard to play innocent when I have proof. He moved out the next day and I filed for a divorce a week later. This was in January, but it got official in the summer.”
“What took so long?”
“He’s been a real bitch about it,” she rolls her eyes. “He really tried to make it look like I threw him out heartlessly and he was convinced he deserves a second chance. Maybe I would have considered it if it was just a one time thing. But it was several women on several occasions. This was not just a slip up, he came home these past two years knowing damn well that he chose to do this. Of course I don’t want anything to do with him after that.”
“Understandable,” Harry nods in agreement.
“Well, he thinks otherwise and it’s been his hobby to make me miserable. We agreed not to tell the kids what he did, I don’t want them to turn against him, he’s still their father, but apparently, Will is not mature enough to do the same. He’s been trying to lure the kids closer to him and away from me, so he is the ultimate good cop. He lets them do anything and everything, pizza for breakfast, candies all the time, he takes them to every damn movie they wanna see, and then I’m the bad one who tries to regulate their fun.”
“I assume Dylan prefers to be with his dad.”
“Of course,” she rolls her eyes again, clearly frustrated over the situation, but there’s not much she can do about it. “I’m suddenly the enemy. Dylan only knows that we decided to get a divorce, but he doesn’t know why. All he experiences is his dad being the coolest guy ever and his mom being a bitter bitch,” she groans and looking down at her drink she obviously wishes it had alcohol in it. “Sometimes I just wanna tell him how big of an asshole his dad is, but I’m really trying to be the bigger person here,” she sighs.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” is all Harry could say.
“It’s not your fault,” she shrugs with a soft, but tired smile. “How about you?”
“You’re divorced as well, right? How did that go?”
“Oh, it was surprisingly peaceful. It was a mutual decision, we fell out of love. If I’m being honest, we rushed into that marriage way too fast.”
“So you’re on good terms?”
“Yeah. We try to make it work, focus on Harlow and what’s best for her.”
“That must be amazing, being partners even when you’re not married anymore,” she sighs dreamily. “I never thought I would say something like this, but I’m jealous of your divorce!” she chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
“It’ll get easier. He can’t be an asshole forever, it’s too tiring,” he jokes.
“Oh, you don’t know Will. Being an asshole is in his genes,” she snorts with a laugh.
The bake sale is always a big success and this is Harry’s first time as a seller. Now that Y/N has pointed it out for him that other moms usually ogle him, he can actively feel the stares on him, so it could easily be an awkward event for him, but he is focusing on Y/N next to him behind their little stand. Their baked goods are selling great, especially the brownies, so they clear their stand in no time, just lingering around, socializing with the other parents though when no one is listening they agree that it’s not really their crowd.
“Maybe we should open a bakery,” Harry jokes as they are packing up their stand at the end of the bake sale.
“You should, but I’m not sure I should leave my career for baking,” she chuckles.
“What are you talking about? You were great at measuring the ingredients,” he smirks, bumping his hip against his.
“Alright, okay, I’ll join you,” she smiles bashfully.
Harry helps with the now empty boxes, loading them into Y/N’s car and they call out for the girls who are running around in front of the building, letting them know it’s time to leave. All he can think about is how this could be the last time he is seeing Y/N for a long time and that he wants to spend more time with her. If he had the guts he would ask her out, but he’s not even sure if she’s ready to date or even wants to date at this point.
“Um, maybe we could have playdates more often. The girls seem to be good friends,” Harry suggests, glancing over at Robin and Harlow, who are making their way towards the cars, still playing around happily.
“Sure! That sounds great, I’m sure they’ll be happy to spend more time together,” she nods smiling.
“And you know, if you need help with anything, you can call me. I know how hard it is to do it all alone, I’m happy to help, even if it’s just maybe picking Robin up. I’m always the one getting Harlow, it’s no big deal if I take them both.”
“Really?” she asks and he can see the gratitude in her eyes.
“That would be… amazing, thank you!”
She surprises him with a warm, friendly hug and he can feel that they’ve just gotten closer to each other in every kind of way. It’s a tiny, fleeting moment, but it burns into Harry’s memories probably forever.
They don’t talk for a couple of days, carrying on with their separate lives. It’s about a week later when Y/N calls Harry in the middle of the day, luckily, he can pick it up right away.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks, leaning against the wall in the studio’s hallway.
“Hey, um…Can I ask you a favor?”
“Sure, of course!”
“Can you pick Robin up today? I have a little situation with Dylan and I’m not sure I’ll make it in time to pick her up.”
“No worries, but is everything alright?”
“Not really,” she sighs. “He got into a fight today and Will picked him up, because I couldn’t answer the phone when the school called me, so I need to get him now from his father.”
“Oh, I see. Don’t worry about Robin, the girls will be just fine while you focus on Dylan. Do you want me to drop her off at yours when you’re home?”
“No, I’ll just pick her up, don’t want you to drive her around, you’re already doing me a huge favor.”
“You sure? It’s no problem.”
“Positive,” she chuckles softly. “Thank you Harry.”
Harry wishes it wasn’t an emergency that connected them again, but he’s glad Y/N felt safe enough to reach out to him when she needed help. When he’s done with work he heads to the school as usual, but this time, two little chatty girls end up on the backseat of the car.
“Is Robin sleeping over tonight?” Harlow asks in excitement.
“No, Honey. Her mom will pick her up later.”
“Why couldn’t she pick me up?” Robin asks, but she doesn’t seem disappointed that her mother was absent.
“Something came up, but everything is alright, don’t worry. You guys can work on your homework together.”
The girls are being angels, Harry cuts some apples for them while they work on their homework by the kitchen island while he starts preparing for dinner. He has just set the table when he sees a car pulling up on their driveway and Harry watches Y/N walk up to their front door.
“Hi,” he greets her, opening the door for her before she could even ring the doorbell.
“Hi, I hope it’s not too late,” she breathes out, stepping inside.
“No, don’t worry about it. The girls finished their homework, we were just about to have dinner, want to stay?”
“Would love to, but Dylan is in the car and I’m not sure I can get him out of there,” she sighs, shaking her head. “But thank you so much for everything, Harry. You saved me.”
“No problem, I told you, I’m happy to help.”
Robin says goodbye to Harlow and Y/N grabs her backpack as they head out to the car. She runs ahead while Y/N turns back to Harry one last time.
“Dylan is spending the weekend with Will. Maybe we could meet up with the girls? We like to go to the park on Saturday.”
“That sounds amazing,” Harry nods, excited to have the opportunity to see her again soon.
“Okay, then I’ll text you later. And again, thank you,” she repeats herself before pulling him into a quick hug. He doesn’t even have the time to put his arms around her before she’s already jogging towards the car.
He leans against the doorframe and Harlow runs up next to him, waving at them as the car backs out of the driveway, Dylan sitting in the back with the most hurt look Harry has ever seen while Robin is happily waving back at her friend. Y/N smiles at Harry through the window one last time before they roll down the street and disappear.
“Here,” Harry softly hands Y/N her coffee as he returns to the park from the café across the road.
“Thank you, how much–”
“Don’t even try to pay me back,” he chuckles as he sits on the bench beside her, taking a sip from his simple, black coffee. The girls are taking over the playground, it’s a beautiful day and Harry is glad Harlow can spend so much time outside.
“So, do you want to talk about what happened this week?” Harry carefully asks. He doesn’t want to be nosy, just trying to be the support Y/N might need, though he is also dying to know more about her, regarding anything in her life.
Y/N exhales slowly, her eyes following the girls around as she fidgets with the lid of her coffee cup.
“Dylan apparently got into a fight at school. No one really saw what happened, the teacher just caught him punching another boy. He was sent to the principal and then they tried to call me to pick him up, because they decided to send him home for the rest of the day. But I was in a meeting and couldn’t answer, so they called Will. He then went in, the principal told him what happened and that Dylan might have to see the school’s advisor a few times after the incident. Will then took him home and when I called him on my way from work he basically said that I’m a terrible mother, because I wasn’t available when my son needed me.”
Harry can feel his anger rising, but he bites his tongue and lets Y/N finish before he puts in his two cents.
“It was just thirty minutes. Thirty minutes later I was already sprinting out of work, I don’t think that’s too late, of course I can’t drop everything instantly, I have a job and a boss, I can’t just come and go whenever I want to!”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, Y/N.”
“Right?” She sighs. “Anyway, I went to Will’s, fully prepared to have a talk with Dylan about his actions, I had a little speech ready and all that. Then I arrived and I ended up being lectured! This… fucker… had the nerve to lash out on me for not answering the phone when the school called me, he was praising himself for dropping everything instantly and picking Dylan up right away. It’s easy to do that when you’re your own boss in a business that barely makes any profit,” she scoffs. “We got into a fight, Dylan heard most of it and all he understood was that I apparently made a mistake so now he wants to spend every weekend with Will.”
“Can he do that? I mean, don’t you have an agreement?”
“I was stupid enough not to limit how much Will can see them, I thought I was doing the right thing, but it’s biting me in the ass.”
“So what are you gonna do now?”
“I have no idea,” she chuckles bitterly. “If I keep Dylan away from his dad he’ll just hate me more. But if I let him spend more time with him, the same thing will happen, because Will is working harder than the devil to turn him against me. It’s an impossible situation.”
“Has he always been this close with his dad or is it just the divorce that brought them together?”
“I always had a feeling Will prefered Dylan over Robin. Which is just fucked up, you don’t choose between your kids. But he never really knew how to deal with a girl, so he spent more time with Dylan. They both like playing video games, so they’ve been bonding over that lately. I guess Dylan feels closer to him because they have more in common and he always looked up to Will. I never thought this would turn out as a disadvantage.”
She looks down at her coffee, deep in her thoughts before taking a sip and finally turning to face Harry.
“It’s such a mess, right? I’m a mess.”
“You’re not a mess, Y/N. You’re doing everything you can to get through it, so don’t blame yourself. Will should grow up and be your partner for the sake of the kids.”
“We haven’t been separated for a whole year, but I can’t even believe we were once married,” she groans, her head falling back for a moment. Then, as if she realized something, she looks at Harry. “I’m sorry for always dumping my drama on you, this must be annoying.”
“Y/N, I asked you,” he chuckles. “I’m happy to listen, to help, anything you need.”
“You’re such a nice man, Harry,” she sighs. “I’m sure you haven’t been having any problem with dating since your divorce.”
“There’s no problem, because I don’t really date,” he admits with an awkward chuckle.
“What?” her eyes widen. “You’re just joking, right?”
“No,” he shakes his head with a shrug. “It’s not really my priority. I spend most of my free time with Harlow, I just… never got around to get myself out there, I guess.”
“But do you want to?”
“Ideally, I don’t want to be alone forever. I’m not against dating, I’m just not looking actively.”
“Hmm… I get it. It’s just shocking that women are not throwing themselves at you everywhere you go,” she snorts out a laugh before taking another sip from her coffee.
“Because I’m the hot dad?” he jokes.
“Well, duh!” she laughs.
“You keep calling me hot, I might think that you’re into me, Y/N.”
She almost chokes at his comment, which just entertains him even more, he likes how nervous she got over his comment.
“I-I’m not trying to– I mean you’re… Oh God.”
“Relax,” he laughs, placing a hand on hers for a moment. “I was just messing with you.”
“God, I hate you,” she chuckles, bumping her shoulder against his.
“I hope you don’t, because I actually like you.”
There’s a switch in the conversation thanks to Harry’s little confession, but he just couldn’t keep it in any longer. She seems surprised, but pleasantly at his words, staring back at him with wide eyes.
“It’s hard not to like you,” he adds with a shy smile. “And if you think I’m the hot dad then I can admit that you’re a hot mom.”
“Oh my God, you’re gonna make me giggle like a little girl,” she laughs, covering her mouth.
“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t bite my tongue any longer,” he chuckles, looking down at his hands in his lap. “Just thought I would share. I’m not expecting anything to change, I know you have enough on your plate now.”
“I like you too, Harry,” she admits and his heart is soaring. “I’m just not sure I’m ready to take this step with anyone at the moment.”
“I completely understand. I’m happy to be just friends,” he reassures her kindly. She smiles at him with gratitude in her eyes, this moment means a lot to both of them in many different ways.
They sit in silence for a couple of minutes, watching the girls play around the swings and then she’s the first one to speak up.
“Did we just admit that we’re crushing on each other?” she asks with a grin.
“I guess so, yeah,” he nods, mirroring her expression.
“This felt like middle school all over again.”
“You want me to pull your hair?” he teases her, making her laugh out loud.
“Ah, I’m okay without that, thank you. But it was… refreshing. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.”
“Glad I could be the one who brought the feeling back to you,” Harry smiles at her sweetly, bumping his shoulder against hers.
They fall into a rhythm. Constantly texting throughout the day, sharing pictures randomly, helping each other out whenever it’s needed, their bond strengthening along the way. It’s not just Y/N’s messy situation they talk about, but anything and everything.
And Harry can feel himself falling.
He’s patient, though. He knows he needs to wait and let Y/N heal and figure things out before she could get back to dating and when that moment finally comes, Harry will be there waiting for her.
She truly surprises him when she takes the first step out of the friend zone.
“So, what are you doing this weekend?” she asks when they are randomly talking on the phone one evening. Originally, Y/N called to ask for some help with homework, because Robin didn’t remember what exactly needed to be done, but it soon turned into some private chit-chatting.
“Not much, Harlow is having a sleepover at my mum’s, so I’ll be alone for most of the weekend.”
“That’s great, because my kids are gonna be away too, so I thought we could do something that doesn’t include a playground, homework or kids meal,” she chuckles and just the sound of it brings a smile to Harry’s face. Harry is about to answer when she adds at last: “It could be a date.”
“A date?” he breathes out.
“Yeah. If you want it to be. It’s fine if we just hang out as friends, I don’t–”
“It’s a date,” he reassures her and he can almost feel her relief over the phone.
“Great.” Harry knows she’s smiling on the other end of the call, he can tell.
“Alright, then I’ll plan everything out. Saturday?”
“Saturday sounds amazing.”
Harry wants this date to be as perfect as possible. It’s not just his first date with Y/N, but also her first date since her divorce. He wants her to feel secure, comfortable and cared for, so she doesn’t feel like she made a mistake.
Therefore, he pays extra attention to tailor this date to her liking.
It’s nothing out of the ordinary, they go to a gallery, then grab dinner and take a walk, but his attention to the details is what makes it outstanding. He remembered Y/N saying how much she loves contemporary art, but she hasn’t had the time to go to any galleries these past years, so Harry takes her to a promising young artist’s exhibition which she absolutely adores, so the evening starts out perfectly.
Then they have dinner at an Indian place Y/N once mentioned. She used to go there often with her parents so it’s a piece of nostalgia for her that brings back some precious memories. The food is amazing, they talk like old friends and the conversation flows naturally, there’s no awkwardness, no weird silences. It’s simply perfect.
As the last stop of the date he takes her to a hidden little park and of course, he’s got reasons for that as well.
“How come I never knew there’s a park around here? We live so close!” she chuckles.
“Because it’s kind of… private,” he smiles as he stops at a massive gate that appears to be just a simple driveway, so Y/N is looking at him confused.
“We’re not gonna get in trouble for this, right? I don’t want to run from the cops,” she chuckles as Harry opens up the gate just enough so they can go inside.
“Don’t worry, I got permission to go inside, I know the owner,” he grins, holding out a hand for her that she gladly takes and they walk in, the gate sliding closed behind them.
“What is this place?”
“I worked with a guy about a year ago, he is an amazing musician and producer. His wife is French and comes from the countryside where her family had this massive mansion with the most beautiful garden.”
As they walk further Y/N finally gets a glimpse of the breathtaking yard that’s hidden from the outside, flowers and greenery everywhere she looks, a dreamy fountain in the middle with a naked female figure serving as the most beautiful gem of the garden.
“She would talk about how much she misses the garden when they moved here, so he surprised her with this. Her own little piece of her home. And see the fountain?” he asks, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful.”
“It’s a replica of the one they had in France.”
“Oh my, this is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard!” she gasps as they slowly walk around the garden.
They wander around, feeling like they have entered a whole new world, the stars shining bright above them and the millions of flowers surrounding them, the gentle splashing of the water coming from the fountain that Y/N keeps staring at, because it’s simply the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
Harry is proud of himself, Y/N hasn’t stopped smiling all evening, so he knows tonight turned out just as he planned. He felt rusty at the beginning, he can’t even remember the last time he was on a proper date, but this was a good start for the both of them.
It’s quite late by the time Harry takes her home, but neither of them truly wants the evening to end.
“I had an amazing time, Harry. Thank you,” she smiles up at him as they reach her home.
“Does this mean we can do it again sometime?”
“Definitely,” she chuckles.
Then comes the first awkward moment of the night. It’s not even that awful, it’s just that Harry’s not sure how far he can go. He’s been thinking about kissing her all evening, but he doesn’t want to cross any lines and push her too much.
“Harry?” she breathes out as they stand just a foot apart.
“You can kiss me. I-I mean if you want, I don’t–”
He doesn’t need more, crossing the distance left between them he presses his lips against his, circling his arms around her waist as he pulls her into his embrace. It’s the perfect ending for a perfect date and Harry knows he’ll have a hard time from now on to behave around Y/N, knowing how she tastes, what her lips feel like against his and how her tiny moans sound. They devour each other, it feels like years worth of drought is washed away and they experience a kind of passion neither of them thought they would feel again.
It’s hard to hold back and not take it as far as possible. Harry is aching to get, feel and taste more of her, but he knows he needs to slow down. Every fiber in his body is screaming not to stop, but his consciousness is awake enough to draw the line. He pulls back, though he goes in for a few more kisses before forcing himself to stop before he can’t control himself.
Y/N buries her face into the crook of his neck as they stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, bathing in the comfort and warmth of this significant moment. Harry can’t stop himself from pressing a few soft kisses to her forehead, wishing he could do this every day, whenever he wants to.
The moments stretch long, but eventually they let go of each other, not too willingly thought.
“I hope you don’t regret going on a date with the hot dad,” Harry cheekily smirks.
“Not at all,” she chuckles. “It was easily the best date I’ve ever been on.”
“Damn, it’ll be hard to outdo it next time,” he sighs, making her laugh.
“Sorry,” she grins, but there’s no remorse in her reaction.
“Alright, enjoy the rest of your kids-free weekend,” Harry smiles as he starts backing away, but then steps back to her once more, stealing one last kiss. “Okay, bye!” he sighs, forcing himself to walk away.
“Bye Harry!” she chuckles.
The upcoming week turns out quite hectic for the both of them. Y/N got a new project at work and as always, she has her hands full of her kids. Harry’s pretty busy too, he promised to help her mum paint her kitchen, so whenever he’s not at work or spending time with Harlow, he’s over at his mum’s home with a roll attached to his hands.
They don’t get to see each other in person and though talking on the phone and constantly texting is great too, neither of them can stop thinking about how good their date was, spending time alone, in person.
It’s a total coincidence they arrive at the school at the same time on Friday.
Harry spots Y/N first as she is walking towards the building from the parking lot, typing away on her phone in her usual work attire. As sappy as it sounds, his heart skips a beat at the sight of her, he’s been thinking about her a lot all week and now she is right there in front of her.
Leaning against a pillar he watches her with a cheeky smile, waiting for her to notice him. She looks up from her phone and at first, her gaze rushes over him, but then her eyes bounce back on him and a wide smile stretches across her face.
“Lovely to see you here, Miss Y/L/N,” Harry smirks and pushing himself away from the pillar he steps closer to her and dares to press a tiny kiss to her cheek. She doesn’t seem to mind the affection at all.
“Mr. Styles,” she smiles bashfully. “How are you?”
“I’m good. A little tired. How about you?”
“Same,” she sighs, folding her arms over her chest.
“How is the situation with Dylan and Will?”
“Eh, it’s fine. Though it feels like the calm before the storm, I’m afraid.”
Harry nods with a hum just when the doors open and kids start to flow out of the building.
“When will you be kids-free next?” Harry asks in a hurry, his eyes snapping to her just for a moment before searching for Harlow in the sea of students.
“Um, maybe next weekend. But maybe we could have lunch sometime next week?” she suggests and he nods eagerly.
“Would love that.”
“Daddy!” He hears the most beautiful voice and moments later Harlow jumps into his arms.
“Hey princess, how was your day?” he chuckles, adjusting her in his hold.
“That’s good,” he hums, smiling. Glancing to the side Harry sees as Robin hugs Y/N and a few moments later Dylan marches out of the building, joining them. Y/N looks at him for one last moment, they exchange a quick smile and then part ways.
Lunch together doesn’t happen. Days go by and they can’t get the schedule to match, there’s always something happening, life gets in the way, but it doesn’t change the way Harry feels about Y/N. And because of that, he would wait forever to spend even just another minute with her.
They manage to have two more dates in the next month and they are both just as amazing as the first one was, because they got to spend more time together.
They have slowly become inseparable.
Their fourth date is set to happen on a Friday when they are kids-free again. Or so they thought.
They planned to watch a movie and then have a late dinner somewhere, so Harry arrived at her house a few minutes before six so they could catch the movie that starts at 6:45. He’s been looking forward to this evening all week, his heart jumping every time Y/N messaged him. He’s been like a lovesick puppy for a while now, even at work, he found himself taking songs into a more romantic direction than he usually does.
Walking up to the door he rings the bell and waits, trying his best to keep himself from smiling like crazy. But when the door opens and he sees the stressed out look on Y/N’s face, his expression drops right away.
“Oh shit, I totally forgot!” she breaks down seeing Harry, but her reaction is a little too extreme, he knows something happened that made her forget about their date. “Harry, I’m sorry, I don’t think tonight is gonna–”
“Hey, it’s alright, no need to apologize. Just tell me what happened, you seem so shaken up.”
Y/N holds the door for him as he walks in while she tries to collect her thoughts to tell him what happened.
“I uhh–I had the worst fucking day ever,” she breathes out shakily as they move to the living room to sit on the couch. “I have no idea how we ended up fighting with Dylan right before Will was about to arrive, but it was possibly our worst fight so far. Then Will joined in and of course, he completely ignored the fact that he is supposed to be a parent and not just a friend to Dylan.”
As she talks, Harry can’t stop thinking about how broken she seems and it’s killing him to see her like this. He needs everything in him not to just pull her into his arms and tell her he’ll solve everything for her.
“I swear I could see that vile smile hiding in his expression, like he was enjoying how Dylan was turning against me!” She growls in annoyance, sinking into the cushion.
“So then what happened? Did you guys come to an agreement of some sort?”
Y/N scoffs, her head falling back.
“The agreement that we came to is that He took the kids and Dylan will stay with him for a while. I had to pack my son’s stuff knowing that Will won’t take good care of him. I know him, he can’t be on parent mode all the time, he’ll want to have his alone time and go out with his friends, but now he’ll have Dylan with him all the time!”
“Why did you let him take Dylan?” Harry asks with furrowed eyebrows, trying to understand the reasons behind her actions.
“Because I’m fucking tired of being the bad guy and… I figured that Dylan is smart enough to realize that living with his dad is not fun!” she laughs, but there’s no happiness behind it at all. “Will never did the everyday things. He doesn’t like to cook, he definitely won’t wake up earlier to pack Dylan lunch, I’m pretty sure he’ll probably forget to pick him up at least once, if not more times a week. It’s not gonna work and I’m hoping that Dylan will find it out himself. He’s a smart boy, if he wants to take this ride, I’m all in,” she sighs, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment before she looks at Harry. “I’m so sorry I forgot about our date. I promise I’ve been waiting for it, but today was just–”
“Y/N, I already told you there’s no need to apologize,” he cuts in, not even wanting to have her think about it.
“I feel like I’m just dumping all my mess on you all the time.”
“I love that you feel comfortable enough around me to share this stuff,” Harry smiles softly.
“I feel more than just comfortable,” she admits, looking at him with calmness in the middle of the madness.
“Yeah?” he grins. “Why don’t we order some food, watch a movie here and call it a night? You must be exhausted.”
“That sounds… amazing,” she breathes out with a tired smile.
And that’s exactly what they do. They order pizza and cuddle on the couch while watching some Netflix movie. Every time they’re together they talk constantly, but this time, they just enjoy each other’s presence in silence and it’s exactly what they need. Halfway through the movie Harry notices that she’s fallen asleep, her head on his chest, snoozing away her stress.
Harry takes just a few minutes to himself, enjoying her closeness and being able to hold her in his arms like never before and he thinks about how he wants to experience this every day. He wants Y/N to get some well-deserved rest, so he carefully carries her to her bedroom and puts her to bed, planning to let himself out and probably call her in the morning, but right before he is about to walk out of her bedroom, her voice pulls him back.
“Stay with me? Please?”
Her voice is barely more than just a whisper and as he looks back at her, she’s blinking at him lazily, already scooting over in bed to make space for him.
“You sure?” Harry asks, though every bit of him just wants to stay close to her. She nods into the pillow and smiles softly as Harry steps back to the bed, hesitantly looking down at his clothes.
“You can take off your jeans if you want,” she cheekily smirks, making Harry laugh as he unbuttons his pants.
“You just wanted to get me out of my pants, didn’t you?” he teases her, kicking the jeans off and then making himself comfortable in bed next to Y/N, who instantly moves closer, cuddling to his side.
“Since the moment I saw you,” she retorts, making him laugh again.
“Should have just asked me right away.”
He presses a kiss on top of her head, wrapping his arms around her tight as they fall asleep together for the first time.
She sleeps better than she had in a long time. Usually she’s awake early in the morning no matter whether she has plans or not. But this time when she blinks her eyes open and checks the time on the alarmclock on her nightstand and it reads seven minutes past nine. She can’t even tell when the last time she slept after eight was.
Sitting up in bed she’s disappointed to realize that the bed next to her is empty, but then she hears pans and pots clinking somewhere downstairs and she can’t help but smile at the thought of Harry in her kitchen.
When she walks down she spots the man by the stove, he is making what seems like scrambled eggs, two mugs already sitting on the countertop with steaming, fresh coffee in them. Harry has put his jeans back on, though she wishes she could have seen him cook only in his underwear, but this is a nice view as well.
“Good morning,” she smiles and walking closer she checks in on the breakfast he’s making.
“Hi there, I hope I didn’t wake you up,” he chuckles and moving close she presses a sweet kiss to his lips to his surprise.
“No. I slept amazing, thank you for staying. I hope I didn’t make it feel weird.”
“Oh please. I was worried I might have crossed a line,” he chuckles softly as he moves the pan off the stove, turning to face Y/N fully, his hands finding her waist instantly.
“I’m afraid there are no lines when it comes to you, Harry.”
She says it with a cheeky smile, but they both can feel the seriousness behind her words and Harry is a tad bit surprised. He thought he would have to wait much longer for her to heal and move forward, but it seems like she’s ready to start this new chapter with Harry.
“Yeah?” he hums, inching closer with his face until he can brush his nose against hers.
“Mhm… I hope I won’t regret this,” she adds, a pang of fear flashing through her eyes.
“You won’t. I promise.”
He holds her gaze for a few more heartbeats before pressing his lips to hers, devouring her as if he is trying to prove that his promise will be a lasting one.
The eggs and coffee get forgotten quite fast as they get lost in each other. He presses her against the counter, his hands sneaking under her shirt, seeking direct contact with her skin. He can never get enough of her taste, the way her lips move with his and those pleased moans that slip out whenever he touches a soft spot. He’s completely obsessed with her and can’t even remember a time when he wasn’t thinking about her every waking moment.
“You’re not hungry?” he asks against her lips.
“Only for you,” she chuckles as she pulls him back towards the stairs to return to the bedroom.
They’ve been both craving intimacy for a while, but after their dates they just didn’t have the chance to take it past making out on the front porch. Now they have the house all to themselves and they are definitely using the precious time.
Between hungry kisses thes peel each other out of their clothes as they navigate back into the bedroom. She falls onto the mattress in only her underwear and Harry takes a moment to admire the view while ridding himself of his pants. Her nerves take over as he studies her almost fully naked form, she reaches for the covers, but he’s quick to stop her.
“Sorry, i-it’s just been a long time since…” she stutters as Harry climbs over her, holding himself up on his arms.
“How long?” he simply asks.
“Um… At least over a year… maybe two…,” she admits shamefully while his expression remains blank and she fears he finds it ridiculous that she hasn’t been with a man in so long.
“Your ex is the biggest idiot in the world,” he replies before his lips devour hers, his body pressing down on her, skin against skin, they are closer than ever, but they are just about to get even closer.
They roll around on the mattress, giggles turning into moans as the last remaining pieces of clothing disappear. They can’t get enough of each other, Harry’s practically trying to map out her whole body, kissing and touching every inch he can reach, worshiping her like no one before did.
When he kisses his way down on her chest and stomach, she realizes where he’s taking it, her breathing picks up at the thought of feeling his lips between her legs, especially because she can’t even remember the last time she was on the receiving end of oral sex.
“Relax,” he softly says before peppering the inside of her thigh, one hand sliding up her torso to her sternum. He can feel under his touch how wildly her heart is beating against her ribcage. “I’ll just have a quick taste, is that okay?” he asks, his eyes snapping up to meet hers.
“Yes,” she answers breathlessly.
“Good,” he smirks before moving closer to her cunt.
He truly only wants a taste, he doesn’t want to overwhelm her, knowing it’s her first time in a long time, but he just can’t help himself. The way her back arches and lips part when his mouth meets her clit, it gets him addicted fast and he knows he’ll spend long hours between her thighs once she gets more comfortable. But for now, he’s just trying to control his hunger.
Licking, kissing and sucking, he makes sure to show her he has endless ways of pleasuring her with his mouth, leaving her wanting more when he moves back up.
“Next time I’m not stopping until you come on my tongue at least twice,” he warns with a pleased grin, to which she can only nod as she gasps for air.
To his surprise, when his lips return to hers, she reaches down and wraps her hands around his cock he’s been ignoring all along just to focus on her pleasure. He can’t help but moan against her mouth when she starts gently pumping his length.
“And next time,” she speaks up, “I will suck your dick for as long as you want me to, but now… I really need you to fuck me.”
“Gladly,” he chuckles, but it quickly turns into a growl when she angles her hips so his head brushes against her soaked cunt. “Condom?”
“In the drawer,” she nods towards the nightstand and he reaches to the side, his movements slightly disoriented since she’s still playing with his cock with her hands.
She only stops when he rolls the condom on, her hands then moving to his mare ass, squeezing it shamelessly as he positions himself between her legs.
“Just tell me how you like it, slow, fast, hard, soft, I can do anything for you, Y/N,” he says, pressing kisses to the corner of her mouth.
“Start slow, then we can go faster.”
He nods and with a slow, careful motion he pushes into her, both of them moaning at the sensation. Harry almost loses his mind, feeling her warm, wet walls around him even through the condom. For a moment he fears he is about to come just by being inside her. Y/N is not the only one who hasn’t been sexually active lately, Harry’s needs mostly get satisfied by his hand under the shower on lonely nights, so this is a gamechanger for him as well.
“You’re good?” he asks out of breath.
“Never been better,” she smiles shortly, taking his face in her hands to pull him in for a kiss before Harry finally starts moving.
Just as she asked, he starts slow, gliding in and out of her until she gets familiar with the feeling and his size that’s quite bigger than what she’s been used to. Pulling her left leg up she hooks it around him, allowing him to go deeper with each thrust.
“Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good,” he growls against her neck before biting on her soft skin gently. She wraps her arms around his torso, clawing at his back to pull him as close as possible, she wants to feel his weight on her, his skin melting against hers as they become one.
“Faster, please!” she breathes out and that’s all Harry needs to pick his pace up, pleasing her every wish.
“Would love to fuck you from behind, but I need to see your pretty face when you come,” he breathes out a chuckle, pressing his lips on hers.
“Next time,” she grins back.
“We're saying that a lot.”
“Because we’ll have a lot of it,” she simply says before a moan slips through her lips.
His heart skips a beat, thinking of a future where he can spend his time with Y/N more than just a couple of times a week. He’s known it for a while, but now, as he’s closer to her than ever, he knows she is it for him.
Gradually fastening his movements he brings them both to the edge, she keeps calling out his name while he mumbles praises against her lips until she finally comes and he follows her moments later. His last few thrusts are rough and hard, but it tops it all perfectly. Harry rolls off of her, trying to catch his breath as she cuddles to his side, happily listening to the beating of his heart that’s slowing down after the excitement.
Legs tangled, she lifts her head, her fingers gently dancing over his tattooed chest, a lovesick smile stretching across her face.
“You’re alright?” he asks, squeezing her playfully.
“I haven’t felt this good in a long time,” she admits chuckling.
“Good,” he smiles. “Though I think breakfast is cold now.”
“We had way more important things to do,” she grins before placing a kiss to his chest.
A lot changes following that Friday. Some changes are hard, like accepting that Y/N can only see Dylan a handful of times and that he’s living with his father now. It’s hard on Y/N and Robin as well, not having him around like always, but there’s nothing to do.
Some changes, however, are very much amazing. Like the blossoming relationship between Y/N and Harry. Following their passionate morning things have taken a pleasant turn.
They are officially an item.
There are rules, of course, that help their journey, navigating life with a new partner with kids. It’s challenging, but they both know it will benefit everyone. Playdates have been regular and Harlow has been spending more time with her granny and Robin has been visiting Will and Dylan quite often as well. It’s also useful in the case of showing Will just how much work it is to take care of the kids almost full time, Y/N is convinced there will be a breaking point. In the meantime, she’s making the best out of her free time, spending it with her new lover.
The girls don’t know officially that their parents are dating. However, they are smart enough to notice that there’s something definitely going on. Harry always brings flowers to Y/N when they come over for a playdate, they’ve had dinner together a few times, Harry often picks them both up from school and then they meet at home and have dinner before Y/N and Robin head home.
They’ve found a rhythm that seems to be working for both of them.
“...Happy birthday dear Harlow! Happy birthday to you!” all the guests sing as the girl sits by her flower themed cake, candles lit on top.
Harry is recording with his phone with the proudest smile on his face, Frankie standing right next to him. Harlow’s birthday is the occasion where they celebrate together, no matter what. She might be switching between them all year, but they both agreed that her day shouldn’t be split into two. So usually Frankie joins them for this one time every year so they can celebrate as a family.
Today is not only special because of Harlow’s birthday, but also because Y/N and Frankie will meet for the first time. She dropped Robin off earlier, but she’ll return soon to have their official introduction, she just had to drop by her office to hand in some documents before joining the party.
She’s been anxious about the meeting all week, even though Harry told her there’s nothing to worry about. Meeting an ex could easily be a terrible experience and Y/N wants Frankie to like her and justify the time she spends with Harlow as Harry’s partner.
Harlow blows the candles out and smiles wide at everyone clapping for her. She’s invited her friends from school and from around the neighborhood and of course, there are a few parents attending as well.
After cake the kids get a headstart in all the activities Harry has planned for them, starting off with playing tag in the bouncy castle he has rented for the afternoon. Yeah, he might have gone a little overboard, but he just wanted the best for his little princess.
“So, when is she arriving?” Frankie asks Harry while she helps him clean up the dining table.
“Um, any minute.”
“I hope you’re not nervous about us meeting,” she chuckles.
“No,” he smiles. “But she is.”
“I can understand that.”
They work in silence for a bit before Frankie stops and looks at Harry.
“Are you happy?” she asks. Harry puts the plates down from his hands and looks at the woman he once thought he would spend the rest of his life with.
“I am. Yeah.”
“And you think it’s a lasting happiness?”
“I do,” he nods. “There’s… There’s something I feel in my chest that I can’t really explain, but I just know I found my person.”
Frankie smiles, genuinely, because this is all she ever wished for Harry.
“It’s good to hear that.”
Just as they are about to finish in the kitchen, the doorbell rings and Harry knows it’s Y/N.
“Please be nice to her,” he exhales before jogging over to the door. Opening he sees Y/N standing there, a nervous, but bright expression on her face.
“Hey,” he smiles and leaning in, he steals a kiss before she steps inside.
“I’m sorry it took me so long. I was trying to be fast. How is the party? Is Frankie here?” she asks as Harry closes the door behind her.
“Yeah, come on, let’s meet her.” Harry takes her hand, but she pulls back.
“Wait, is it… How should I act? What do I tell her?” she asks in a frenzy.
“Calm down, it’s going to be fine. Just be yourself, okay?”
“I’m about to meet your ex wife, don’t tell me–”
“Hello!” Frankie walks out with a warm smile and Y/N’s eyes go wide at first, but then she regains control over her face. “You must be Y/N, I’m Francesca, but call me Frankie.” She extends her hand towards Y/N which she takes.
“So nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you!”
“So have I,” Frankie chuckles.
“I hope only the good things,” she chuckles awkwardly, throwing a look at Harry, who is just watching the scene unfolding with an amused smirk on his face.
“Why don’t we have a drink and I’ll tell you everything he told me about you,” Frankie smirks.
Harry lets them get to know each other, though he keeps an eye on them while tending to the birthday party as well. Just as he thought, Y/N had no reason to worry about meeting Frankie, five minutes into their chit-chat and they are already laughing like old friends.
The party is a huge success, the kids have fun and Harlow will surely remember her eighth birthday. When all the guests have left and Harlow said goodbye to her mom who headed out to the airport, it’s just Harry, Y/N and the two girls. Harlow and Robin are watching a movie in the living room while Y/N helps Harry to clean up most of the mess.
“So, meeting Frankie wasn’t that bad after all, huh?” Harry teases her while they’re loading the dishwasher.
“I never thought it would be bad, I was just nervous. She is obviously an important person in your and Harlow’s life, I wanted her to like me,” she clarifies.
“It’s impossible not to like you,” Harry smirks cheekily, making her laugh.
“Maybe. For you,” she adds sheepishly. “Anyway, she was nice and welcoming, it wasn’t awkward at all.”
“Why would it have been awkward?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “That’s what it’s like in the movies.”
“But it’s real life,” he chuckles. putting the last plate onto the rack and closing the washer. “I told you, we are on great terms. She has a partner too, actually, I think they will get engaged soon.”
“Oh, that’s great. Do you like the guy?”
“Yeah,” he nods, starting the washer and then he leans against the counter, folding his arms over his chest. “Mateo is a nice guy, he’s a doctor too. Neurosurgeon. So I guess they are perfect for each other. He’s great with Harlow too and that’s what matters to me. I’m sure Frankie thinks the same about you.”
“I hope so.”
“I know it, Y/N. So don’t worry,” he smiles and peeking over her shoulder he checks if the girls can see them. When he’s sure they’re not in sight, he leans down and steals a short, but meaningful kiss. “Can I ask you something? And please tell me if it’s too fast, I want to do this right.”
“Okay,” she nods.
“When do you think we should tell the kids about us?”
“Well,” she exhales with a tiny smile. “I think they are already suspecting something.”
“How do you know?”
“Robin asked the other day if you and Harlow will spend Christmas with us since, and I quote, we already spend as much time together as a couple.”
“Oh wow, they really are smarter than we think,” Harry chuckles. “I guess we could come clean soon, what do you think?”
“Definitely. I want to be honest with Robin. We can sit down with them sometime. But I want Dylan to be there too. I don’t want him to find out about it from Robin.”
“Of course, sure.”
Before he turns to finish up in the kitchen she grabs his hand and pulls back for another, tad bit longer kiss that he accepts gladly, even with the risk of getting caught.
“Thank you,” she whispers when they pull apart.
“For… being so amazing. And giving me faith that I can still find happiness.”
Next weekend the girls are invited for their first ever sleepover to a classmate’s home, so Harry and Y/N can have a night to themselves finally. It’s been a hectic week, so they agreed to just stay in, watch a movie and relax together. This time it’s Y/N’s turn to host their romantic evening, so they are spending Saturday evening cuddled up on her couch, ready to rewind.
They are halfway into their choice of movie when Y/N’s phone starts ringing. Normally, she would ignore it, but when she sees that Dylan is calling her, she snatches the phone from the table and answers the call.
“Hey hun, everything alright?” she asks, knowing well Dylan only has a phone for emergencies and he wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important.
Harry can’t hear the boy on the other end, but he can tell whatever Dylan is saying it’s putting Y/N on alerted mom mode instantly.
“I’ll pick you up right now, don’t worry,” she says, already jumping up from the couch. “Just stay right there, I’m on my way, honey.”
“What happened?” Harry asks, rushing after Y/N as she hurriedly starts putting on shoes and a jumper, still staying in line with Dylan. She covers the mic of her phone as she answers quickly.
“Will left him home alone, he went to the store to get himself food, but he locked himself out and Will is not answering his phone.”
She’s mad. Big time. It’s the type of anger that turns any mother into mama bear mode.
“I’m going with you, you can’t drive like this,” he says, not asks.
“Thank you,” she breathes out before turning her attention back to the phone. “I’ll be right there, Dylan, okay? Stay on the phone with me.”
She talks to him on the phone while Harry is driving according to her instructions and he’s trying his best to keep his cool and stay in his line. He knows this is a family matter, but he’s fighting the urge to punch Will if he ever sees him.
“There, pull over,” Y/N points at a house and Harry spots Dylan sitting on the stairs at the front door, obviously shaken up.
Y/N practically jumps out of the car before it even stops, running towards the boy who does the same and lets his mom wrap him in her arms tight and safely, it’s exactly where he belongs. Harry gets out as well, approaching carefully, making sure he keeps distance and gives them space.
“Come on, I got the spare keys, let’s pack your stuff. You’re coming home.”
For probably the first time in a long time, he doesn’t argue, just nods and follows his mom to the door that she locks with her set of keys Will gave him for emergencies. This surely qualifies as one. Glancing back she nods at Harry to follow and he oblies, staying in the foyer as the two of them disappear further in the house.
The place looks like a typical bachelor home, not too much furniture, no home décor, but a giant TV in the living room with several game consoles. It’s obviously not a place where kids should be around, there’s nothing homey, warm and cozy and Harry can only guess, but something is telling him Dylan’s room looks similar to the rest of the house.
He can faintly hear them talking, maybe even Dylan crying as Y/N softly soothes him while they’re probably packing his things. Harry stays by the door, but when he sees a pair of headlights pulling up on the driveway, he stiffens.
“Y/N? I think someone’s home!” he calls out, watching a guy get out of the car. From what Harry can see through the window, he looks confused at first and then pissed when he reaches the front door and walks in, facing Harry in his house.
“Who the fuck are you?” he spits, his hands curling into fists. Before he could answer, Y/N rushes out of Dylan’s room.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? Where the hell were you?” she raises her voice in an instant, holding Will accountable for his actions.
“What are you doing here and who the hell is this clown?” Will ignores her questions, gesturing towards Harry.
“You left your son home alone for almost a whole day with no food!”
“I left a few dollars on the dining table,” he shrugs, like it’s truly no big deal.
“Yeah! And he went to the store to get something when you’ve been away for fucking hours and locked himself out! You didn’t answer his calls! He called me crying, because he couldn’t reach you, do you think that’s how a father should act? Huh?”
“I had shit to do! I couldn’t bring him with me, what’s the big deal about it? He’s fine!” Will retorts pointing at a frightened looking Dylan down the hallway.
“No, he is not fine! And don’t fucking believe I’m leaving him here with you. He told me all about the shit you’ve been doing. I’m gonna make legal actions to limit your time with him and Robin as well. You screwed it up, Will. Big time.”
The switch in him can be seen, where he turns into full defensive mode, ready to tear anything and anyone down to have his ways, no matter the consequences.
“Oh yeah? You think you can just do whatever you want, Y/N?”
“No, it’s you who thinks that’s how it works!”
“You will not keep my kids away from me!” he starts shouting. “Do you hear me? You can’t do that!”
“Actually, I can and I will! I’m done with your shit and so are the kids, believe me.”
Despite the weight of the situation, Harry feels his chest swell with pride seeing Y/N stand her ground, not letting Will throw everything on her.
“Come on, Dylan, we’re leaving, bring your bag,” she calls out to the boy who runs into his room to grab his stuff, appearing a moment later.
“No, you are not walking out of here with him!” Will snaps, grabbing Y/N’s arm and that’s when Harry steps in.
Taking Will by the shoulder, Harry pulls him back, the action takes him by surprise and makes him let go of her, but it just pumps up his anger.
“Get your hands off me!” Will spits, puffing his chest to try to intimidate Harry, but there’s no use.
“Right after you get your hands off of her,” he retorts, calm and collected, but his eyes are throwing flames.
“You have the nerve to come to my house and tell me what to do with my wife?!”
“I’m not your wife anymore, and this madness is ending here,” Y/N tells him harshly. She holds out a hand and Dylan runs up to her, taking her hand, clinging onto it desperately as he tries to avoid looking at his father.
“Dylan, you really want to go with your mother? Think of all the fun we’ve had!” Now Will sounds more desperate as he follows Y/N and Dylan towards the door, but Harry gets between him and them before Will could get physical again.
He tries to stop them on their way out, following them to the car too, his emotions switching by the minute: anger, despair, sadness, disgust, he goes through everything, but nothing can stop Y/N now.
“You really think you can just take my kids away from me like that? Huh?” Will starts shouting when Dylan is in the car and they are just about to leave. Y/N turns back to end the discussion in a calm manner.
“I know that the court will love to hear about all the shit you’ve done. Try fighting me and I will make sure you’ll never see your kids again.”
Will is stunned from the strength and power oozing from Y/N and it leaves him frozen in his spot as she gets in the car and drives away with Dylan and Harry.
Arriving back home Harry stays back and lets Y/N focus on Dylan. They have a talk in his room while Harry cleans up the mess they left before rushing out of the house. When an hour later Y/N comes down he can tell she’s tired and drained.
“Thank you for cleaning up,” she smiles as she walks over and he pulls her into his embrace right away. She melts into his arms gladly, dropping the tough act and letting him be her safe haven after everything that happened.
“Confused and disappointed. I wish he never had to see Will like that. He used to be his hero, this was a turning point.”
“He’s a great kid, he’ll get over it and he has you.” He kisses the crown of her head before pulling back so give her an encouraging smile that she returns. “I’m gonna head out, let you get some rest.”
“Okay,” she nods and leaning closer, she kisses his lips gently. “Thank you for… everything.”
“I’m happy to be here for you. Anytime.”
“I know,” she smiles softly. “That’s why… that’s why I love you.”
Her words take him by surprise, but then his heart starts hammering in his chest as he stares back at her.
“I love you too,” he breathes out before their lips meet again.
It's a staring match and Harry and Y/N are definitely losing.
Sitting next to each other, the couple is now facing the three most important people in their life. Harlow, Robin and Dylan are sitting in silence, waiting for the announcement that brought them together this Saturday afternoon.
Y/N bumps her elbow against Harry’s side, urging him to break the silence. He clears his throat and finally starts talking.
“So, we wanted to tell you guys something. We believe all three of you are mature enough to take the news and we hope you’ll be happy about it.”
Harlow and Robin exchange a knowing look, but they let him carry on.
“You might have noticed that we’ve been spending a lot of time together. It’s because we’ve become great friends and… and slowly we became… You know, when adults get closer they can easily fall… Um…”
He is not doing good, rambling, all over the place, feeling more nervous than ever as the three kids stare back at him expectantly. At last, Y/N takes the lead.
“We’re together. As a couple,” she says, ending Harry’s misery to find the right words.
They remain silent for a few moments that feel excruciating to Harry and then the girls start giggling.
“What’s so funny?” Harry questions them.
“We were just wondering how long it would take for you to admit it,” Harlow sassily replies.
“We’ve known it for a while,” Robin chimes in.
“You might have suspected it, but I don’t think you’ve known,” Y/N narrows her eyes at them.
“We saw you kissing the other week,” Dylan speaks up, surprising Y/N and Harry. They’ve been trying to be very careful, but it seems like they did not succeed.
“Um, well… So then now you know for sure,” Harry chuckles. “How do you feel about it?”
“Does this mean we’re sisters now?” Harlow asks, her face lighting up.
“Not really. Not yet, at least,” Y/N chuckles.
“Are we gonna move in together?” Dylan asks and Y/N can tell he is not ready for that.
“No. We’re not planning to do that anytime soon, don’t worry. But we want to spend more time together, with you guys as well. So Harry might spend the night at ours sometimes or when you two are with dad, I might be sleeping over at his place,” she explains.
“Okay,” Dylan nods in relief.
The kids have a few more questions that they gladly answer and it seems like they are taking it well. When the talk is over, the kids take over the trampoline in the backyard, giving Harry and Y/N a moment of privacy.
“That went well,” he smirks proudly.
“Oh, you mean you did so great rambling in the beginning?” she teases him. “I agree.”
“Haha, very funny,” he rolls his eyes, but can’t hold his smirk back.
“It went well, you’re right,” she says. “But I’m not surprised.”
“What do you mean?”
“Everything about you is perfect,” she smiles up at him, knowing well how much he loves getting praised.
“Mm, guess we can thank the girls. That bake sale truly brought us together,” he chuckles.
“That was the ultimate parent trap and they didn’t even know it,” she laughs, wrapping her arms around his waist before kissing him.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
i know i said we'd see each other again at the cheating!harry one shot but i had no idea the my policeman premiere was coming up so here we are !!! i don't have much to say except that like, reblog AND leave feedback bc i love to read your thoughts!!! ♡ ( part 1 here! ; harry's masterlist ; since forever p1 ; since forever p2 )
Y/N STORIES THROUGH THE DAY OF THE DON'T WORRY DARLING PREMIERE:
THE DAY AFTER THE PREMIERE:
Y/N Y/L/N also starred a scandal by kissing the protagonist of the film directed by Olivia Wilde, Florence Pugh, who continued the kiss with a hand on her waist, putting together a comic moment in which Harry Styles found them and shout "I'll take revenge, Y/N!" He did, indeed, kissing his fellow cast member Nick Kroll at the end of the premiere.
It was a good day for everyone except Wilde, who spent the entire evening making a begrudging face whenever Styles, Pugh, or even Pine named Y/N and praised her. It seems that not everyone likes her, but the young woman didn't mind, having fun with her husband and Florence throughout the film and laughing everytime Chris Pine pointed his camera at her.
Harry shared a photo on his Instagram stating that the baby is due in mid-January 2023, meaning Y/L/N is five months. We're still waiting for her post, who always dazzles us with unpublished content.
liked by zayn, florencepugh, sebastianstan and 3M other people
yourinstagram: venice, always a pleasure.
louist91: And what about my show?
yourinstagram: @/louist91 check my twitter mate it's all there.
harryfan1: LOOK AT THAT BELLY LORD HERE I COME.
harryfan2: THE CHRIS PIC HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
harrystyles: Come back to bed, we miss you. Xx.
harryfan3: @/harrystyles flirting on main? disappointing...
florencepugh: WIFEY 🤭
harrystyles: @/florencepugh Who are you?
florencepugh: @/harrystyles the woman who kissed her lips in front of everyone, you?
harrystyles: @/florencepugh She's literally carrying my baby.
yourinstagram: @/harrystyles @/florencepugh you done?
harryfan4: @/harrystyles @/florencepugh @/yourinstagram "she's literally carrying my baby" 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 oh to be harry styles baby momma.
harryfan5: everybody knows... everybody knows, that he fucks you.
harryfan6: the fact that louis, zayn and this baby are all capricorns... it is the best sign after all.
gemmastyles: I'll be there next time!
liked by 4k accounts
tsupdates: "There she is! I want to thank Y/N for being my biggest supporter ever, thanks for all your love and I hope that baby likes Midnights!" — Taylor talking about Y/N Y/L/N Styles today at the TIFF 2022.
taylorfan1: HOW. DOES IT FEELS. TO LIVE MY DREAM?!
yourinstagram: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 SHE'S THE LOML 😭😭😭😭😭😭
taylorfan2: screaming, crying, perfect storms.
taylorfan3: @/yourinstagram sis you're ok?
yourinstagram: @/taylorfan3 i may be ok but i'm not fine at all.
taylorfan4: @/taylorfan3 @/yourinstagram oh no, she's taylor nation 😧
taylorfan5: i'm so proud of Y/N, this is literally her dream 🧡
taylorfan6: @/yourinstagram do you make the baby listen to her songs?
yourinstagram: @/taylorfan6 yep, specially one song in particular :)
taylorfan7: the fact that she skipped harry's last concert for this... she's so real.
taylorfan8: and y/n screamed "I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE!!!!" so true bestie, so true.
THE DAY OF THE MY POLICEMAN PREMIERE:
liked by 5k accounts
ynandharrymyparents: Y/N CLAPPING TODAY AFTER THE MP PREMIERE FOR THE CRITICS AT THE TIFF! ❤️❤️❤️
harryfan1: SHE'S SO PROUD OWIWITIWIRJ
harryfan2: I love her so much it's not fair.
harryfan3: it's so noticeable that y/n prefers my policeman over dwd, TASTE.
harryfan4: CAN'T WAIT FOR THE PREMIERE!!!
harryfan5: i'm going to the premiere and meet her is literally everything i want :(
harryfan6: @/harryfan5 GOOD LUCK BESTIE!!!!
liked by 7k accounts
harrymyboy: HARRY LOOKING AT Y/N TODAY AT THE MP PRESS CONFERENCE AT TIFF 2022 😭
harryfan1: this is my 13th reason
harryfan2: everyday i woke up and wish i was y/n
harryfan3: AND SHE BLEW HIM A KISS 💘
harryfan4: does anyone have the pics for when she stand up and clapped when the movie ended?
harryfan5: @/harryfan4 But the premiere is later today, right??
harryfan4: @/harryfan5 yup but the critics premiere was a while ago and Y/N was there too!
harryfan6: @/harryfan5 i think @/ynandharrymyparents posted them!
harryfan7: this man is about to be a dad...
harryfan8: crying in the club.
liked by 4k accounts
hsupdates: HARRY AND Y/N TODAY AT THE MY POLICEMAN PREMIERE!
harryfan1: they look so perfect 😭
harryfan2: NOT HER TAKING PHOTOS OF HIM... 💀💀💀 SHE'S ONE OF US.
harryfan3: AND DAVID GAVE HER HIS JACKET CAUSE SHE WAS COLD 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 EVERYONE LOVES HER
harryfan4: why does everybody lick her ass?
harryfan5: @/harryfan4 maybe bc she's kind and generous and all the good adjectives for a person???
harryfan6: All the photos of harry touching her belly omfg I can't.
harryfan7: THAT SHOULD BE ME.
harryfan8: alexa play i wish by one direction.
harryfan9: I JUST MET Y/N AND SHE WAS SO SWEET AND HUG ME AND TOOK A PICTURE WITH ME !!!!!!!!!!
harryfan10: @/harryfan9 YOU'RE SO LUCKY
liked by 10k accounts
harrysupdates: "And I also want to thank my wife, for going through the scripts with me thousands of times without complaint and for supporting me since we met. I love you Y/N, and I love our babies too. I'll let Emma talk now!" — Harry thanking Y/N after receiving the TIFF 2022 Tribute Ensemble Award at the Tiff Tribute Gala today.
harryfan1: stop this madness... what do you want from me, PLEASE WHAT DO YOU WANT
harryfan2: Y/N CRIED LMAO THE HORMONES
harryfan3: i would die for them and that baby.
harryfan4: "our babies" STILL NOT OVER THE FACT THAT THEY CALL SATURN THEIR BABY.
harryfan5: if one day they divorce i'll stop believing in love
harryfan6: blessed be the day in 2009 that anne sent harry shopping at y/n's father's store and they met 🙏
harryfan7: @/yourinstagram LMAOOOO Y/N
harryfan8: i want what this bitches have.
harryfan9: when taylor swift said "you know the greatest loves of all time are over now" she was wrong cause harry and y/n are the greatest love of all time.