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iguessthisisanewobsession · 4 months

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Danny bursting into the full batcave: Jason has ghost cancer

Batfam: wut

Danny fazing kryptonite out of the lead vault: Jason has ghost cancer.

Batfam: who tf are you?!

Danny already turning the corner into a dead end part of the cave: wouldn’t you like to know weather boy.

#listen this is going to be poked at in a bit #for now enjoy a little bit of crack from a very distraughting concept that has been three words in my drafts for like three months #dp x dc #writing prompt #danny fenton #dc x dp #jason todd #ghost cancer au #jason: update my family while you get the goods so they don’t loose their shit #danny: sure!#they promptly lost their shit

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dairy-farmer · 2 years

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Kon and his canon incest kink, right? Combined with Tim and his cute little pussy, an incest kink, and a pregnancy kink? A very good mix, me thinks

Kon and Tim bond over their weird kinks but it escalates to Kon convincing Tim to try and seduce Jack Drake and get knocked up, and Tim agrees but only if Kon (who has a pussy bc I say so lmao) seduces either Lex or Clark and gets pregnant too, so they can be pregnant together

(and maybe they both love it more than they thought they would, but Tim becomes the little bat clan breeding slut, popping out baby after baby for Bruce and his brothers after Jack Drake dies, meanwhile Kon is a total slut, getting knocked up by any and everyone, only knowing the fathers of his first two or three kids bc he wanted to have at least one kid each from Clark and Lex)

So the two of them just have this little army of incest babies running around (and maybe Tim and Kon are more or less in a relationship despite whose babies they pop out every nine months) 🤭🤭🤭

kon's canon incest kink!!!!! i don't see it often which is a shame because i 1000% believe that tim and kon would roleplay that cheesy 'wut r u doing step bro😏' thing while having sex.

tim and kon both talking about how attracted they are to their respective fathers and then eventually forming a pregnancy pact to get knocked up together with their father's babies!! kon would be so happy for tim when he scores the batfam and gets pumped full of brother and dad cock all the time. meanwhile kon isn't picky and can just pretend the person fucking him is his dad.

kon and tim holding a deep love for each other and even though they're fucking and getting knocked up by other people the two of them are together. tim's kids call kon 'mom' and vice versa with kon's kids calling tim mom.

tim doesn't produce the most milk but kon is an absolute machine so while they're talking, kon will be nursing tim's little babies while tim rocks kon's in his arms and lets them tug on his hair and try to suckle on him.

tim and kon are co-raising their babies and they're kids recognise their mom's partner as an additional parent. it's an oddly sweet relationship to anyone who sees them <33

#anonymous #asks #answered asks

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miraculous-trinity-leo · 3 years

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Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Chapter 5: Then Let The Games Begin

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Soooo, the Batfam is panicking, Gotham's confused as to why Iron Man is flying over Gotham like a madman, and Maria is with two of Gotham's Sirens (but only Ivy and Harley know this) having a wonderful time playing with Bud and Lou.

Let's start with the Sirens.

Harley is watching over Maria and Tikki as they sleep with Bud and Lou, Ivy walkes over to sit next to Harley, handing her a cup of tea.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" - Ivy

"She has some sort of trauma, has class issues... and handles more than she should, but still does everythin', on top of bein' a hero. She's been through some sh-t Pam." Yeah Harley may have found out Maria's a hero (if the tiny god and magic were anything to go by).

"Is she alone?" - Ivy

"No, thankfully, she has supportive parents, and friends that aren't little sh-ts. I think they're also heroes, she also has a lot, and I a mean A LOT of pent up emotions, she doesn't show anythin' negative, only positive things. She seems to shrink in on herself if she thinks she does somethin' wrong. Pam, we both know there's a limit to how much crap a person can take before they snap, and she's such a sweet kid. There has to be somethin' we can do to help her Ives." Ok she found out alot, but in Marias' defense, they have trustworthy souls, and they were the only other people (besides her friends) that she talked to about it, yes she had her Maman and Uncle to talk about hero stuff, but for the stuff her class does, she only ever vented (without being negative) to her friends.

"Her class is visiting the Botanical Gardens in three days, and it's a 2 part tour, so we can see just what's going on. If it's bad then we scare them a bit, if it's bad bad... they can handle a few slightly poisonous plants right?" - Ivy

"God I love the way ya think Ives, do ya think she can stay with us? I mean look at how cute she is with Bud and Lou... Oh my god, she's cuddlin' dem, and ya gave her a flower crown, how'd I miss that?! Where's the camera?"

Harley took a picture to remind her of this wonderful moment. As Ivy and Harley looked at the picture, they both promised to keep Maria safe, and maybe become sorta kinda-ish parents to her while she's in Gotham.

•—–·Now back to the Bat-Chaos Bat-Cave·–—•

Tim took over the chair and was now searching the possible locations with Jarvis, Damian was sitting on a different chair, trying to act cool, but he wouldn't stop looking over at Tim, to see his progress. Bruce was talking over the comms with Tony. Dick and Jason, weren't helping (they kept feeding each other worse and worse ideas of what could have happened to Maria). Then they heard Jarvis speak.

"I have found the most likely area Ms. Dupain-Cheng would be in. Her phone died about 56 blocks away from her hotel, if we don't count kidnapping, or murder, she would have thought about asking for directions, but may have decided not to considering the city she is in. So that leaves us with a possible 15-25 mile radius from her last known location. I think it best to divide into groups of two, have Oracle stay and update you if anything on security, and or traffic cameras happens. Bruce will be with Tony, Dick will go with Tim, and Jason will go with Damain to search within the area. Stephanie and Cassandra will search around a 5 mile radius near Wayne hotel." as Jarvis continued to explain the other details, the Batfam began to suit up, Batman met up with Iron Man, and they took the North area, Nightwing and Red Robin took the East area, while Red Hood and Robin searched the South. Steph and Cass were on foot in civilian clothes, searching the West area they were assigned.

They searched for the whole day, and came up with nothing. Until Oracle saw a video from a traffic cam around 9pm, 15 blocks away from where her phone died. She called it in and everyone went back to the cave. Once everyone was at the Bat-Computer, Oracle pressed play, the cameras didn't have sound, and it wasn't close enough to see if she was ok.

They watched as she went to an overgrown parking lot and sat down. She was looking down at the ground, and that's when they spotted two figures round the corner and spot her. They watched as the two figures approach Maria, and saw the startled reaction she had. They realized it was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy that were talking to her, then they saw Maria collapse. They watched as Harley made sure she was ok, looking over to Ivy before looking back to Maria and picking her up. The last thing they saw, was Maria being carried away by two of Gothams' most dangerous rouges, but now they knew where to look next.

•—–· Back to Ivy and Harley ·–—•

Harley continued to take adorable pictures of the children.

"God, they're so f-ckin' cute!" - Harley for the 20th time

As Ivy continued to watch while caring for her plants, Catwoman walked in.

"Hey girls, got the stuff for movie night, so what are we- Holy mother of cats! He adopted another f-cking child didn't he! Where the hell does he keep finding them?! 7 was ment to be the god DAMN LIMIT!!!" - Catwoman

Maria jumped at the sudden shouting and may have accidentally summoned a yo-yo (one made useing creation magic and protection magic) before saying.

"Tikki where's the akuma?! How long was I out?! Forget it Tikki spot-" she then realized she wasn't in Paris, and seeing a new face, she also realized she just spilled her secret to another person within the same day... kinda

"Fffffffffffudge sunday that fell on the pavement!" - Maria shouted in baker profanities

"That's not how ya curse sweetheart. It should go more like-" Harley was cut off by a vine Ivy had summoned.

"Harley, cursing makes the plants sad, you know this." - Ivy said removing the vine

Harley just walked over to Maria and whipsered it in her ear.

"You're supposed to say it more like this, ' ..... .... ... .. ....... .. ... .....' ok?" - Harley ended with a big smile

"... I will never see this world in the same frickin' light ever again." - Maria

"ehh close enough." - Harley

"Can someone please tell me, WTH is going on here, on our special girls day off?!" - Catwoman

"She is a new member of the Sirens as of today, and as a member, she's unda our protection, so effective immediately." - Harley

"Cool." - Maria

"Harley." - Ivy

"Wut... first things first, if she is going to join, she needs to be very flexible, know how to fight, and be incredibly intelligent." - Catwoman

"She beat Ed's @ss with a gun pointed at her, and solved every riddle with ease, so I'm positive she'll be an amazin' addition to the team." - Harley

'God she sounds like a new mother now' "But we don't know how good her flexibility is." - Catwoman

"I know, hey Maria, ya wanna do some tricks with me, of course we need to stretch first, but do ya wanna give it a go?" - Harley

"Sure." - Maria

Ivy and Catwoman sat down on a couch a few feet away from where Maria and Harley stood in the empty part of the building. They started out with stretches, and to Catwoman's surprise (and Harley's delight) Maria copied Harleys streches perfectly.

"Ok, now that that's done, we'll start with some cartwheels, then move on to flips, then handsprings and so on." - Harley

Maria gave Harley a nod... and they were off... literally, Harley did a cartwheel into a handspring, and a few backflips, Maria executed it flawlessly. Harley did some more complicated gymnastics tricks, and Maria did it, Harley did triple backflips going into a cartwheel, into a summersault, and Maria did that perfectly as well. This went on until both Harley and Maria were slightly out of breath, both having massive smiles on their faces.

"Ives, please let her join, she's like a mini me." - Harley then hugged Maria and they somehow both tripled in cuteness as they both did puppy (or Puss In Boots style) eyes at Catwoman and Ivy.

"Sure Harley." - Ivy said walking over to give Harley a small kiss on the cheek.

"Okay... but she doesn't have a costume yet, and she still has to think of a name for herself." - Catwoman

"Is a mouse good, like a mouse themed costume, that or a Turtle themed one. What do you think Harley?" - Maria

"Mmmm, I like that with the mouse you can always toy with Cat, ya know, cat an' mouse stuff, turtle seems... weird even fawh Gotham, so personally I would pick mouse, just because of the cheesy jokes you could do." - Harley

"Very funny, ok then, give me a moment." Maria then reached out her hand, her eyes then started to glow an icy blue, and a small portal opened in front of her, she reached in and pulled out a small pendant necklace. After she put it on a small mouce appeared and greated itself, Marias' eyes going back to normal after closing the portal.

"Hello I'm Mullo, nice to meet you all."

"Omg omg omg, It's soooo f-ckin' CUTE!" - Harley

"Best to assume all of them are extremely cute Harls." - Ivy

"What the Hell did I miss in the week I was gone?!" - Catwoman

"Ehh, not much, oh but Iron Man did fly aroun' Gotham a few times earlier this mornin' like a madman." - Harley

"Oh sh-t." - Maria

"Maria are ya ok? That was ya first official proper curse in my presence." Harley said looking over to the girl.

"He's gonna kill me." - Maria

"Wait, what do you mean Marigold?" - Ivy

"... He's my Uncle, and I never got to text him I was ok, since my phone died before I met you." - Maria

"Hey, I'm sure he'll understand, now what are we watchin'?" - Harley

"I think we have more important matters other than movies at the moment!" - Catwoman

"Ok, Me Myself and Irene it is." - Harley

"No! You basically kidnapped Iron Mans' NIECE!!!" - Catwoman

"Technically, she fainted and us bein' the good Gothamites we are, decided to take her with us, to make sure she was a-okay." - Harley

"I'm ganna need more than just a six pack of soda to get me through this... Just put the movie on already." - Catwoman

Catwoman sat at the far left end of the couch, next to her sat Ivy, then Maria, and then Harley, Bud and Lou by their feet. All of them sharing one big blanket (Becuase if Iron Man did show up, or any of the birds, then Maria was in a protective burrito and they may not see her right away) and they started the movie.

•—–·–—•

"Oh god, the poor cow." - Maria

.........

"Hahahaha, he stuck a whole f-ckin' chicken head in that guys @ss" - Harley

"The poor chicken." - Maria

"Maria you don't want to see this part." - Ivy then lightly covered her eyes for the ehem, chicken extraction.

.........

"Anyone up for another movie?" - Harley

"That depends." - Ivy

"Any suggestions Cat?" - Harley looked across to the other end of the couch to see Catwoman already sleeping.

"She took her cat-nap already? Seriously?" - Harley

"... What about Pirates of The Caribbean?" - Maria

"I'm good with that." - Ivy

And they started the next movie, Maria was happy, it felt like when her maman and papa would sleep with her when she made a pillow fort. It was a loving atmosphere, it felt safe, and nothing could ruin it. Marias' eyes became heavy, and she leaned her head on Harleys' shoulder, falling asleep after a few minutes.

Ivy paused the move looking over to see both Harley and Maria sleeping, soon Ivy also fell asleep in the comfortable silence.

…………………………

Around an hour later Maria woke up in a panic, she had a nightmare, and kept looking around frantically for someone with tears running down her face.

"What's the matter hun?" - Harley said looking around to see if someone had gotten in. When she looked back at Maria she saw that she was crying.

"What happened?" Harley asked in a kind voice that was filled with motherly love.

"I, just *hic* had a bad dream that's *hic* all, I'm fine." - Maira said trying to wipe the tears away.

"You're ok, I promise nothin's goin' to happen to ya as long as Ivy and I are here, ok hun?" - Harley hugged Maria, and she could feel the girl let out a few more sobs, and quick breathes.

"Thanks Maman." Maria didn't even realize what she had said, it just felt natural for her to say it.

"You're welcome hun." 'Omg I'm gonna cry, she called me maman!' Harley rubbed small circles over Marias' back, and began humming until she fell asleep, she continued to hug Maria until she also fell asleep.

•—–· Back to the Chaos Bat-Cave ·–—•

"What do you mean she's with two of Gotham City's Sirens?!" - Tony

"Tony, calm down, I'll call Selina, she can talk to them and get this all sorted out." - Bruce

"Your fiancee is a Gotham Siren too?! Why didn't you tell me?!" - Tony

"Why isn't she picking up? And unlike some people, this family doesn't like outing our secret identities... on live TV." - Bruce

"Oh well excuse me for not keeping my secret identity a SECRET!" - Tony

"I'll try calling her one more time." - Bruce

"Bruce, it's 3am. Who in their right mind ever stays up this late.... aside from this family." - Tim with a giant coffee mug in hand.

"... I'll just call her one more time." Bruce then connected it to the Bat-Computer so everyone could hear.

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Catwoman's phone is ringing like crazy, waking everyone up, including a tired, annoyed, and confused Selina.

"Wth does he want at 3 in the morning?!" - Selina

"Just answer it so we can keep sleepin'." - Harley still hugging Maria

"I'm putting it on speaker, so you lot can testify against his @ss in court, for disturbing the peace."

•—–· Over to Batsy ·–—•

"Selina I need to ask-"

"WHAT THE F-CKING HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT A GOOD NIGHTS REST!" - Selina

"Oooooh, she sounds pissed Bruce." - Jason

"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but we need to find a girl that looks just like every single one of my other kids." - Bruce

"Bruce... I thought we agreed that 7 kids was. the. f-cking. limit." - Selina

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Selina looked over to Maria before muting the speaker.

"Do you want them to know you're here Kitten?" - Selina

"... I'm tired, I haven't had coffee, I have no filter, so f-ck it, act like you never saw me today, and let them drown in chaos. " - Maria

"I think I like filter less Maria." - Harley

"Okay." Selina shrugged her shoulders and then un-muted her phone, putting it back on speaker mode.

"Where was she last seen?" - Selina

"She was last seen with Harley and Poison Ivy, I want you to see if she's still with them." - Bruce

Selina looked over to Maria and Harley, both of them shook their heads with mischievous grins.

"I've been with them all day, and I haven't once seen a girl that looks like your kids. Now can I go back to sleep, and forget this ever happened?" - Selina

"WHERE IS MY NIECE!!!" - Tony

"Oh, hey Tony, didn't know you were there, don't know who, or where your niece is, but good luck trying to find her. Oh and Bruce, I'm shutting my phone off so you don't keep calling till the butt crack of dawn. And congrats it's now 4am. you owe me a lunch date, uh-ba-bye." Selina then hung up her phone and turned it off.

"That went pretty well if you ask me, now I'm going back to sleep." - Selina

•—–· Back to Batsy ·–—•

The room was silent for a few minutes before Jason spoke up.

"Does that mean that Pixiepop ran away and is even more lost now?!" - Jason

"Oh god, what do we do, what if she got hurt?!" - Dick

"What if she got kidnapped?!" - Jason

"What if she's with a big time Gotham Villain?!" - Dick

"... What if she got more coffee?" - Tim

"Oh Hell No" - Jason/Dick

"... Lets all go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll head over to their base and double check. She could've just said that because I called her at 3am." - Bruce

"But my niece is still out there!" - Tony

"You're going to sleep Tony." - Pepper then dragged Tony to his room.

•—–· Back to Maria ·–—•

Selina went to a different part of the building, where Maria assumed the bedrooms were. Ivy had gone to the greenhouse to be with the plants, and now it was just her and Harley left on the couch, and she couldn't sleep.

"... Harley?" - Maria

"Yeah hun?" - Harley

"I can't sleep." - Maria

"Well, watcha wanna do till ya get tired?" Harley asked sitting up a little straighter to get a better look at Maria.

Maria gave a sly smile, and looked Harley in the eyes "Want to go free-running on the rooftops?"

"... Alright, but lets get some coffee, and a snack in us first." - Harley gave her a side hug, before getting up to go make the coffee, and grab some snacks.

After they had their coffee, they climbed to the roof of the base. Harley was in her outfit, bat in hand and ready to do some bonding.

"So, how does ya outfit work?" - Harley

"Like so, ready Mullo?" - Maria

"Yes Maria" - Mullo

"Ok, Mullo, Get Squeaky!" A bright light flashes, and when Harley could see again, Maria was in a dark gray suit, wearing black knee high boots, with a strip of pink at the knee, and black elbow length gloves with the same pink strip at her elbow. Her mask was a slightly lighter gray on the top part, and pink on the bottom. Her hair was pulled into two buns with pink ribbons that faded to gray, and to black at the very tip. Her jump rope around her waist forming a tail going just below the back of her knees.

"Just when I think ya can't get any more adorable. So what should I call ya?" - Harley

"You can call me Multimouse." - Maria

Soon they were racing and doing tricks off different roofs, they were really enjoying themselves. From one of the roofs they heard a commotion in one of the alleys, when they looked down they saw a man holding a woman at gunpoint.

"Not good, seems like he's got issues, probably lost his lover, most likely has additions to drugs and alcohol, and seems to be a little tipsy." - Harley

"I've got a plan." - Multimouse

…………

Multimouse droped a little way behind the guy, grabbing his attention while Harley got the lady to safety.

"You know there's a help center two blocks from here that would be more than willing to help you." - Multimouse

The crook just raised his gun to her trying to keep it steady as he spoke.

"Give me all your money little girl, or else I'll hurt you."

"1. That's not how you hold a gun. 2. That is no way to treat any girl. and 3. Instead of money, I'll give you my jump rope." - Multimouse

"Why the hell would I want your jump rope, that thing looks worthless." the crook lowered his guard enough as Multimouse pretended to hand over her jump rope, only to use it in a quick motion to dismarm the man, as Harley promptly knocked him out with one swing.

"Lets neva have ya at gunpoint again, okay hun? I'm afraid my heart can't take it." - Harley said while tying the crook to a lamppost.

"Sorry, but it was the best idea I could come up with at the moment, besides, any guy with a gun would feel like they have the upper hand if they're facing a random little girl with a jump rope, rather than Gothams' Harley Quinn with a bat." - Multimouse

"Sadly I'm just too popular with the kiddos on the street." - Harley

…………

They continued to stop a few more muggers on the way back to the base, and when they got back they peaked around the corner to see the whole Batfam plus Iron Man talking with Ivy and Selina.

"How much you want to bet we can get back out before they see us?" - Whispering Multimouse

"... Lets try hidin' in the kitchen." - Whispering Harley

As they tried to sneak by (still in their costumes) Selina just walks over and draggs them to the group.

"Here, now let me sleep!" - Selina

"Dang it Selina we wanted tah see just how long we could hide out in the kitchen!" - Harley

Selina did a double take now realizing they both went out.

"... You didn't." - Selina

"We wanted tah go free-runnin'! So what?" - Harley

"She could've gotten hurt Harls." - Ivy

"My suits magic, I am invulnerable to bullets, normal magic, swords, knifes, anything staby staby, and I can withstand any temperature in it." Multimouse said with a slight pout.

"Hold up, is she a magical girl?" - Red Hood in the background

When Selina let go both Harley and Multimouse went behind Ivy for protection.

"We can still make a run for it." - Harley whispered to Multimouse

"... Ok, I'll meet you on the roof." - Whispering Multimouse

Harley gave a nod as she slowly inched her wasy closer to the door that lead to the roof, as she saw Iron Man approach Multimouse.

"Please get out of your suit, we need to talk about why you're here-" - Iron Man

"Multitute!" - Multimouse

Harley then saw Multimouse shrink into dozens of tiny little versions of herself as her clones spread out in all directions, one of which was heading right for her.

"Wth, you never told us she could use magic!" - Red Robin

Harley picked her up, and slipped through the door without anyone noticing.

"That was great, but how do ya get back tuh normal size?" - Harley

"Simple, I just merge back with my clones." As she said this, all her clones came back, and she merged with herself, becoming normal sized again.

"Where to?" - Multimouse

………… So now The Batfam is trying to find many long gone Mini-Multimouses, and Harley seems to have disappeared with her. Harley and Multimouse are now running over the roofs, heading for Wayne Manor.

"So why are we going to Wayne Manor?" - Multimouse

"Because, Batsy will neva think of lookin' for us at his own home, at least not fawh a little while." - Harley

When they arrived at the Manor, Multimouse de-transformed as Harley knocked on the door.

"Ms. Quinn, Ms. Maria, pleasure to see you here, please come in." - Alfred

"Are any of the bat-birds here?" - Harley

"Ms. Barbara, Ms. Stephanie, and Ms. Cassandra are the only ones here at the moment." - Alfred

"Do ya think you can keep us bein' here a secret from Batsy?" - Harley

"Harley? What are you doing here with Maria?" - Barbara

"It seems that Ms. Harley and Ms. Maria are now playing hide and seek with the rest of the family." - Alfred

"Did someone say hide and seek?" - Steph

"Yes, so could we maybe try and keep this a secret from everyone else, please?" - Maria

"Sure, it was starting to get boring around here. We can all hide in the living room no one ever use. Barbara you show them the way, I'll get the food/drinks and boardgames." - Steph

"Is this alright with you Alfred?" Maria

"It's all right Ms. Maria, you can hide out in the old living room." - Alfred

"Thanks Alfie, ya the best." - Harley

"Thank you Alfred." - Maria

"Ok then, follow me." - Barbara

…………

In the old living room, Harley, Maria, Barbara, Steph, and Cass began to formulate a plan.

"Ok, so the best way for them to never find you is to have your phone off, stay away from any and all cameras, and show your face to no one." - Steph

"So, do you have anything in mind that you might want to do?" - Barbara

"Can we put them on a wild goose chase?" - Maria

Cass nodded to Marias' suggestion approvingly.

"I can hack a few traffic cams to help with that." - Barbara

"We can also throw in some useless hints, to throw dem even further off our scent." - Harley

"Good idea Harley." - Barbara

"Thanks, but how long do ya think we should make it last?" - Harley

"As long as Maria wants it to." - Barbara

"Then let the games begin." - Maria.

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Chapter 5 complete. Hope everyone is stayin' safe, Rockin' those Positive Vibes, and havin' an absolutely wonderful day. BUG-OUT 🐞💮🐞

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queenz-z · 3 years

Text

Masterlist

okay so like listen this is a 3am thought but here me out

there’s a story similar to this maybe idk, but my idea has plot twists i think.. okay but like hear me out..

so basically the members of the batfamily are debriefing in the cave right right okay

and then a portal from like the ceiling opens and then like pegasus or something he screams like

“INCOMINGGG!!!” “TAKE COVER!” he shouted as people came tumbling out the portal

so the batfam obviously take cover

okay then like i’m talking about rena, queen bee, carapace, present bunnyx, chat, and then second to lastly ladybug with pegasus coming as well are falling out the portal

and then the bat family are like

“What in the-“

“What type of of-“

“I need more coffee-“

And batman doesn’t even know what’s going down

so then.. they’re about get like interrogated and then finally the leader ladybug’s like..

“Wait? Where are we? I know this is the batcave, but like what state is this?” Ladybug asked, still trying to find a way out of this mess.

“This is Gotham, New Jersey.” Red Robin says, still out of it, but like ready to research still because sleep is for the weak.

So then they’re all like not hating on pegasus but they’re like aww man you got the coordinates wrong

now let’s take a step back the miraculous members are in pjs but still transformed so i’m talking about like ladybug in like red and black polka dot shorts and like an oversized white tee, or like everyone has theirs similar but like coordinated to them

so then ladybugs like wait can you give us a sec .. and could we like borrow your computer

and they’re like.. “umm.. no.”

and then ladybugs like fine that makes sense bc yk randos in ur batcave, unsafe, strangers yk

then it’d be like nightwing to be like okay only one person

and everyone nominated ladybug bc she’s that sis

and then everyone’s like so cautious of her bc she’s unknown, mysterious that type of beat and

so then she’s like could you call wonder woman

and they’re like wut

so then they do but like they’re in the frame or something think of it like a face time

so then ladybugs like.. “.. hey aunty..” awkwardly

(i say this bc yk let’s pretend or guess diana’s mom hipplotya (idk how to spell) was like a ladybug so technically their family or just related somehow)

so she’s like what happened and then lady b explains the situation

now the batfam is like

“how do you know wonder woman?”

“aunty??”

etc etc

and then after they end the call they are cleared as like safe not an unknown or something

and then robin would be like

“what are you even doing” or something like that

and let’s just say 😏😏 they’re going to wonder woman’s house diana or something to go visit aeon and jess for like a sleepover which is why they’re dressed like how they are

and at the same time the batfam are like

“where’s my invite?”

“what sleepover”

the it’s be like robin who’d be like

“what’s a sleepover?”

then they’d all look at him and then chat noir would be like

“don’t worry this is my first sleepover too” or something like that

and then while everyone wasn’t paying attention peggy (pegaus) went and like retransformed

so then they’re all he’s just like

“okay guys, we’re already late.”

and the everyone’s like

“gottagoseeyalateebye”

red robin’s like “i need to sleep, i think i just hallucinated”

nightwing would probably try to make a huge sleepover with the teen titans or like the young justice people for robin

and then batman’s just there rethinking his life choices

wow that was a lot it’s been in my head for 1 month and a half and i can write but it would take me too long anyone can continue this just give credits i guess i hope you enjoyed

#mlb x dc #miraclous ladybug #dcu #miraclous team #batfam #ladybug #batman #maribat #idea #3 am shenanigans

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deaddennis · 2 years

Text

i just did the math and my ‘hobbies and other deadly perils’ is going to be 100k in total.

my DUDES. wut.

it got this long, i guess, because a) i was super self-indulgent and went with the what if selina kyle raises damian wayne domestic trope i just made up and then it just TOOK OFF and suddenly we’re going all what about if she had a wool store and Zatanna is ughhh and 1960s Batman TAS and Flashpoint etc and b) i am fortunate enough to have people kudo and comment? and the notifications make my day and remind me that ahhhhhhh there are people who also like batcat and batfam and in particular don’t mind THIS mad take of mine.

#selina kyle and the dangers of knitting #would the real selina kyle please stand up #the resurrection of selina kyle #fanfiction #batman #catwoman #batcat #ao3 #damian wayne

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preciousthingsareprecious · 3 years

Note

im curious ! do u hav a headcanon of sum sort fr the age difference in the batfam ? :0 in ur new fic, jason mentions tht damian is 12. wut wld this make the others ?

I tried for a long time to figure out everyone’s exact ages, and battled canon furiously to do so, eventually giving up. Because of that I don’t really have specific ages for most of them its more like ranges and whatever vibes right at that moment for that fic.

Generally I write Dick around his late twenties, Jason mid twenties, Tim’s forever seventeen (jk, he’s usually a little older, about college aged for me), and Steph and Cass are close to Tim’s age. Alfred is Ageless and Bruce is Dad aged.

The only ones I really have a set age for from recent comics are Duke and Damian. Duke’s been said to be 16 so I tend to write him around there, and Damian ranges between 10-13 so depending on if I’m writing his early years or later ones I’ll pick something in that general area. It’s chaos I know, but if Canon doesn’t know how old they are, then I can be flexible too haha.

#precious answers #Batfam ages are weird #Also half the time I feel totally age blind #like what is time #what are ages #how old am I anyway #things you have to think about when writing

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bluejay-the-geek · 4 years

Text

Among Us with the Batfam pt 3

{in the waiting room}

BloodSon: Father has joined us

RedHoodSus: why

TheBatman: It sounds like good practice for your detective skills

RedHoodSus: whoever the impostor will be pls kill him first

[There Is 1 Impostor Among Us]

[RedHoodSus Called An Emergency Meeting]

Nightwing: what?

RedHoodSus: BRUCE IS THE IMPOSTOR

Timbo: what why

RedHoodSus: it’s been 5 minutes and no one was killed

RedHoodSus: Batman doesn’t kill

[RedHoodSus has voted]

Timbo: I hate to admit but he has a point

[Timbo has voted]

BloodSon: Apologies father

[BloodSon has voted]

[steph has voted]

[Nightwing has voted]

[Cass has voted]

[signal has voted]

Babs: B you got anything to say for yourself?

[Babs has voted]

TheBatman: I’m proud of you Jason, excellent detective work

RedHoodSus: wait wut

[TheBatman has voted]

[TheBatman Was The Impostor]

[VICTORY]

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Height discourse confuses me so much, because I, a 4'9 21-year-old Asian perceives anyone taller as tall. But reading international posts saying 5'6 is small makes me double-take, like, "Wut?"

LOL, ahh yes, the infamous “How Tall IS Dick Grayson Actually” discourse. I feel you. And I can definitely see how it would be bemusing as hell given your perspective, lmao.

And I mean, its definitely up there on the list of “Things I Can’t Believe There’s Actually Discourse About” buuuuuut I’m not really judging because I know damn well there’s a fuckton of shit I’ve Discoursed about on pretty much everyone else’s “Things I Can’t Believe There’s Actually Discourse About” list.

*Shrugs* But I also do get why it exists, if you scratch beneath the surface - as is often true of a lot of seemingly inane discourses. Its not really about height so much as it is about the why’s of writers specifying certain heights for him, and stereotypes associated with height.

On the one hand, you’ve got the fans who look at writers who make a point of writing Dick as particularly short, or the shortest of the Batfam once all of them are adults, and think: this is because of fandom’s fixation with writing Dick as effeminate or the least ‘manly’ of the Batfam, and thus I dislike it and do not trust this writer’s take on him.

Then on the other hand, you have the fans who look at objections like this and think: this is because of bullshit fostered by the toxic masculinity and sexism that’s so present in society, even women can be guilty of perpetuating the idea that there’s anything TO object about there, that a man being effeminate or less ‘manly’ than his brothers is some kind of insult or slight against him in the first place.

But then go back to the first hand.....

And on the one hand, of those fans, you’ve got the fans that don’t actually think there’s anything insulting about a man being effeminate or less manly themselves, but given that the bullshit fostered by the toxic masculinity and sexism in society is so everpresent, even women can be guilty of perpetuating the idea that ‘shorter = weaker’ etc, etc.......its not him being written as short that’s objectionable to them, its what they believe the writer is implying by making that distinction that they’re objecting to, like that it reads to them as though its being used as a smokescreen to create associations in readers’ minds, with the idea of him being weaker or softer or whatever the fuck compared to his brothers, without those writers actually having to SAY what they’re getting at there and spell it out. Plausible deniability kinda thing.

And then on the other hand, you have those fans who object to writing Dick as short because they actually DO buy into that bullshit and they ARE simply objecting to the idea itself because of toxic masculinity and sexism and etc etc.

But then go back to the original second hand.....

And on the one hand THERE, you have the fans whose responses to people objecting about writing Dick as short are based on exactly what they say they are......pointing out that its only objectionable if its viewed as insulting and the only reasons its viewed as insulting are toxic masculinity and sexism which they’re calling out as being perpetuated here.

And on the other hand there, you have those fans who DO buy into the associations between ‘shorter = weaker’ and actually ARE writing things that way with the intent of hoping to form that association in the minds of any readers who similarly buy into those lines of thought or are susceptible to it......and are simply using ‘arent you the REAL misogynist here for thinking shorter equals more feminine which equals weaker or frail or whatever’ arguments that are simply typical flipping the script tactics and hiding behind buzzwords they don’t actually believe in themselves but know are effective in getting people to back down, etc, etc. The plausible deniability thing.

And I’ve been out of hands here for awhile now, obviously, but you get what I mean. Round and round and round it goes, with the true point always hidden juuuuuuust beneath the surface, and more than a little tedious to have all unpacked and catalogued like here, which is a major factor in why so many people rarely dig beneath the surface of a seemingly inane discourse to get at what people are REALLY arguing about but nobody wants to ‘lose ground on’ by being the first to admit to.

As for me, again, this really isn’t a dicourse that I spend much time on because I’d rather cut straight to the point of an argument in general, and this isn’t an discourse that’s particularly amenable to people doing that, obviously.

And also, I honestly just don’t care that much. LOL. Yeah, I often read works where Dick is singled out as being distinctively shorter and feel an author is trying to ‘imply’ something and its the implications of that which are the source of any ‘Not Good, Scoob’ feelings rather than because I agree with what’s trying to be implied. But y’know......when an author IS playing that game and they actually do buy into toxic and sexist stereotypes.....I mean, there’s literally always other indications of this in their work, giving them away all over the place. So there’s honestly never really a time when his height itself is actually what that hinges upon, y’know?

So my big takeaway from all of this is: headcanon and write Dick as whatever damn height you feel like and if you want to imply something about him just fucking say it directly and if you want to accuse someone of something just fucking call it out directly.

*points to the above unpacking of this particular discourse and how fucking tedious and unnecessary so much of it is and all just because people won’t just say what they actually came to say or lay claim to what they actually said*

ANYWAY.

Personally, regardless of how Dick is written in a fic, I will always headcanon him as somewhere between 5′10″ and 6′1″ for reasons that are entirely irrelevant and meaningless to anyone but me, pretty much. LOL.

In my head, Dick obviously has to be that height because he’s walked a runway as a model before. That’s it. That’s the whole reason my mind automatically goes to that span when picturing him or reading something about him.

(As most people who have followed me for a bit know, I spent a number of years working in the TV industry. There were a couple years there where I did a little bit of print modeling too, nothing major at all, but enough to know that the fashion industry has a Very Definitive Thing about male runway models and height: If you are a male runway model, you are between 5′10″ and 6′1″. If you are not between 5′10″ and 6′1″, you are not a male runway model and you never will be. Its a Thing. And not one the industry is shy about.

Because of the fact that the fashion industry is mostly centered around women models with name recognition, and very few men who model have star power specifically in terms of modeling, rather than because of crossover/overlap with acting, there’s a major difference in how designers tend to approach designing for models. Most designers designing runway looks for women do so with specific models already in mind. Most designers designing runway looks for men do so without specific models in mind because there simply aren’t enough male models with the kind of branding/name recognition that does a designer any good.

So designers literally JUST design runway looks for men in that height range, and anyone outside that range would require tailoring that could feasibly throw off an entire runway look. So they just don’t do it, to the point that an agent or manager sending them someone outside that height range to consider for a job means that agent’s not getting called back, because they just gave themselves away as a clear amateur by not knowing better.

Of course, keep in mind that my experiences with modeling are based on the industry re: ten years ago, so it could be that things have changed in this regard since. But that was the status quo then.)

So yeah. Dick Grayson walked a runway for Cheyenne Freemont, thus in my mind he’s obviously between 5′10″ and 6′1″ lolol, because any up and coming designer trying to make a name for herself would absolutely know better than to send out someone shorter than that and still think anyone in the industry would take her seriously.

LOL. I told you it was inane. But in my defense, plenty of people headcanon that Dick HAS to be small because he’s a gymnast, and uh.....that is not how that works. Anyone can be an amazing gymnast, its just that smaller body types lend themselves to gymnastics better than bigger, bulkier bodies. And thus the competition oriented gymnastics SPORT heavily favors cultivating and training gymnasts on the smaller side, because coaches and endorsers are looking for literally any advantage possible.

(Being shorter means you have a lower center of gravity which is a help when balancing, or stabilizing yourself. Its easier for a shorter gymnast to keep their balance or to stick a landing. But it doesn’t become impossible just because someone’s hit six feet tall. It HELPS to be shorter. It doesn’t determine whether or not you can do a trick at all, much like being short and having a lower center of gravity by no means GUARANTEES you have good balance.)

And of course, though Dick excels at a ton of gymnastics, he is not and never has been a gymnast per se....he’s an acrobat. From a family of acrobats. Who have been doing this as a family business generationally, thus.....why would they have future height requirements when training their son in the family business? And being from a family of acrobats doesn’t ensure you’re going to be short, if your family members are not already short to begin with. Evolution does not give a fuck about future employment opportunities when selecting which gene sequences to flip on while in utero.

The correlation is ‘most gymnasts who excel at gymnastics feats are small,’ not ‘to excel at gymastic feats, you must be small.’

I am absolutely and completely just rambling now and have been for awhile so I’m gonna go beat up my insomnia until it caves and lets me go the fuck to sleep.

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your-worst-knightmare · 3 years

Link

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson & Wally West Characters: Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, Wally West, YJ team ig, Jason Todd (Mentioned), Damian Wayne (Mentioned), Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Sequel, Batfam meets YJ, Assassin Children, JASON IS ALIVE YOU FOOLS, Detective Work, wut is tagging anyway Series: Part 2 of Assassin Children AU Summary:

Dick Grayson knew what he saw. He’d been trained in detective work and he knew evidence when he saw it. Tim could back him up– they’d both been there. But the way his best friend looked at him like he was going crazy– that hurt.

Jason was alive. Dick and Tim were going to prove it.

––––––––––––––

I know!! I updated!! Who would have thought? Not me.

#batfam #batman #fic #my fic #technically finished fic i guess #muscle memory #assassin children #dead birds can't fly #sequel

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fyeahbatcat · 6 years

Link

Highlight Reel

12:00 Michael Lark did the last eight pages of the Annual on purpose, because the Annual “was always intended to be two stories.”

13:30 The fight between Talia and Selina in Batman #35 may have just been a test. While not confirming that interpretation, King believes that that is a valid point of view.

16:10 King purposely did not have Talia refer to Batman as “Beloved” in Rules of Engagement because he believes that she knows that things are permanently over between her and Batman given the events of Grant Morrison’s run.

23:30 Poison Ivy will make an appearance in Batman #41-43 in an arc called “Everybody Loves Ivy” with art by Mikel Janin. This will be “Ivy trying to do good but doing good in a way that goes against Batman’s instinct.” Also Ivy did not kill anyone in War of Jokes and Riddles.

30:16 “[Catwoman] She’s in front of the line. She knows how good she is and she wants to show it off. She knows what she wants and she goes out and gets it.” She provides Bruce with perspective.

32:40 Tom King would pick Clark as Bruce’s best man because he agrees that Bruce wouldn’t pick between his kids and the relationships between friends and parents are different. Batman and Catwoman will have an argument over who Batman’s best friend is: Catwoman says his best friend is Superman. Batman says his best friend is James Gordon.

37:50 King acknowledges that there will be difficulties with Bruce Wayne marrying Selina Kyle because her identity is not a secret and she’s a well known criminal. They are sneaking around and Selina is wearing disguises but they are not “publicly dating.” This will be dealt with in the book.

41:10 King’s thinking is that in the Annual the batfam goes (left to right) Jason, Helena, Barbara, Dick, Carrie, Duke, Damian, Stephanie, Tim. Crew cut guy is Damian lmao wut. Cassandra is missing for a reason.

44:05 In the Annual King wanted to give Batman an ideal death.

45:05 “It’s [The Annual] not Elseworlds I can say that. I mean purposefully there’s a page there where he says that there are many earths and you can find a Batman.” King mentions that Helena Wayne is Batwoman and not Huntress, but there may be ways to evolve that.

#tom king #interview #podcast

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paramountie · 7 years

Text

Seven sentence meme!

Tagged by @traincat

The rules are as follows: go to page 7 of a WIP, skip to the 7th line, share 7 sentences, and tag 7 more writers to continue the challenge.

I don’t have 7 pages of any WIP written, but I realized I do have 7 fics in my WIP folder, so I’ll share a line I like from each! (This is cheating, this is def cheating, but I’m still gonna do it.)

1. (Spideytorch) I Hate My Soulmate Support Group

“Is true love harder than you thought?” the sign reads, and Peter feels kind of nauseous. He wouldn’t call his situation true love. More like a true nightmare. “Come to the Soulmate Trouble Support Group! Thursdays at 4pm in the Counseling Center.”

2. (Dick Grayson/Tiger) Sequel to Little by Little

Even after a couple of months, there’s something strange about waking up next to Tiger. There’s something strange about seeing Tiger asleep at all, eyes closed and mouth lax, expression something that Dick would call serene, if he saw it on anyone else. Tiger doesn’t move much when he sleeps. He doesn’t snore, or tug the blankets over to his side of the bed. The first few nights they spent together, Dick had to check to see if he was even breathing.

3. (Gotham) Jim Gordon Adopts Baby Babs

His brother was diligent about sending him photos. Jim couldn't open his email without getting hit with a slew of pictures. Baby Barbara sleeping with her mouth wide open, gums toothless and shiny pink. Barbara gnawing on her own toes. Barbara, gazing up at the camera, with round cheeks, too big for her head, and a tiny shock of red hair. She always looked solemn in the photos, carefully discerning, and she was beautiful, in that pristine baby way. Shiny and new.

4. (Spideytorch) Dream Daddy AU

Peter’s old house had been a worn-out little two-family condo, with downstairs neighbors that liked to scream at each other in strong Long Island accents. Sometimes, Peter couldn’t fall asleep if he couldn’t hear the sounds of Mrs. Maretti accusing Mr. Maretti of having yet another affair.

In this new neighborhood, everyone probably kept their family drama behind closed doors, like a bunch of creeps.

(This was SUPPOSED to be my spideytorch big bang but homework MURDERED me.)

5. (Fraser/Kowalski) Kidfic

When Fraser was young, he'd been the most sought after babysitter in the Northwest Territories. Not the most sought after babysitter in the Yukon unfortunately. That honored belonged to Stacey Drake. His childhood nemesis.

6. (Damian Wayne/Jon Kent, Batfam) Damian and Jon Elope

As a general rule, Bruce didn’t check the family groupchat much. It was annoying and chaotic, and it took Bruce’s hours just to decipher the kids’ elaborate mix of shortened words and strange emojis. That was an afternoon’s work right there, and when he’d made his way through the mountain of messages, another mountain had usually taken its place.

Tonight, it seemed that he had no other choice.

The most recent message was from Tim. A simple but relatable “wait wut happened”.

7. (Gotham) High School AU

Jim Gordon’s ex-boyfriend was probably a murderer.

I tag anyone who wants to do it!

#I can't believe I didn't even follow the rules I made up #my fic

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krinsbez · 5 years

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Random thought

I just don’t understand tumblr’s recommended blogs algorithim. Like OK, I like comics, I post headcanons, so it gives me tumblrs that do cute batfam headcanons. Not what I want, but I get it. I decided on a whim to follow a few tumblrs that have pictures of sf-related celebs, it starts throwing tumblrs with pictures of celebs, which doesn’t really fit with my several dozen other follows, but OK I did follow some of those. Now, for reasons I cannot fathom, I’m getting Christian tumblrs.

WUT.

Like, nothing against youse guys, but what the hey?

0 notes

lananiscorner · 7 years

Note

Speaking of Dicks looks, I find it funny that he , Tim, and Jason are or are around the same height and weight according to the games. Like wut????

I think part of it is simply economic game design - it’s easier to just make one character model of a fixed height than to make three different ones - and the other part is them emphasizing the similarities of the boys and Bruce by hammering the point home.

Or maybe someone just really likes the number six because pretty much everyone in the Arkham batfam is six feet tall, plus/minus two inches.

#ask #Anon #Arkham verse #character stats #asks

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lysical-secondary · 7 years

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First off I love your rambling and metas! Fully agree with your post on how Jason and Tim's relationship felt unearned though. Like I like the change, but I want to love it, but can't becuse it wasn't addressed properly. They got shoved together due to being under Lobdell, but that isn't enough for me.

thank you! i’m glad they even make sense at this point. XD

i’m incapable of loving tim and jason’s canon relationship because of the way it was glossed over. more than any other batfam relationship that friendship 100% needs to be earned because of how it was in Post-Crisis. and it’s an insult to both characters that it basically went ‘yeah i’m over it, are you?’ ‘yeah we’re cool bro’

like wut.

i don’t care if the justification is ‘tim called himself red robin to start with in respect’, it’s not enough, certainly not enough for jason ‘hi i’m petty’ todd and tim ‘i’m calling myself red robin but what role am i functionally here’ drake.

i cannot conceive jason being like ‘oh you’re RED robin, that’s okay then’.

????

that needed slow ass development. they should’ve tried mending dick and tim instead, and shoved jason and damian together if they wanted fast bonding, because there’s little baggage with them and a whole lot of parallels. then they slowly fix tim and jason while working on all four of them and the rest of the family and it would feel more natural and. w/e

one day i’ll write fic about it i guess

#asks #anon #meta #tim drake #jason todd

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