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#wish I could properly put into words why I love their dynamic so much
cosmic-navel-gazin · 1 year
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“Rumata felt a strange sense of painful ambivalence. He knew that he was right, yet in some strange way, this rightness lowered him before Arata. Arata was clearly somehow superior to him— and not only to him but to all those who had come to this planet uninvited and who, full of helpless pity, watched the tumultuous bustling of its life from the rarefied heights of dry hypotheses and alien morality. And for the first time Rumata thought, There is no gain without a loss. We’re infinitely stronger than Arata in our kingdom of good and infinitely weaker than Arata in his kingdom of evil.”
— Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, Hard to be a God    
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captainmera · 1 month
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Dude I just love your stuff I can't put it to words properly. It's just... So good, I wish you could just change a couple of names an make this your own story. It's that good. I'd buy physical copies of both this hypothetical story and in blood we rise. Evelyn knows what she's doing and Caleb doesn't mind one bit. Anyway I'm rambling, don't forget to get some rest.
Man, the amount of times I've thought..
"I know what to change and add to make this a separate entity from TOH, maybe I could write it as a book or make a cartoon movie pitch out of it."
Like, legitimately. I've got some redesign ideas and concepts that could help part it from the source material enough that you wouldn't be able to connect the two. And make it its original thing.
I mean.. tbf it is pretty much original anyway, as far as characters go. I made these ideas out of.. basically Calebs inconsistent character design alone? Evelyn doesn't even have a design in TOH, she's always hidden. We don't know their personalities either, or their abilities, or the nature of their relationship dynamics. I've made that stuff up. (;;;T o T)
That aside, I have IBWR, which is already my own original story. But I think it makes itself best as a comic. And not a novel or movie.
It'd be fun to try write something that was supposed to be a 2D animated feature film. And the limitations that would give me to work with. Yknow, just as a non-serious thing, just a practice thing.
I love storytelling, and I love all the different mediums to tell a story in. Unlike a comic, a movie has limited time to tell a concise complete story. Hence why characters often fall in-love so quickly in Disney movies, for example. And it would be fun to experiment and explore that medium.
IT WOULD BE FUN, WOULDN’T IT?
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And I like fun.
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mysterycitrus · 7 months
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i dont know who a writer would be who could handle it (more ignorance on my part than lack of good writers though there is that too) but i’m curious what you think a real, earned redemption could look like for jtodd and if you would even want it.
i definitely think there’s a path, esp because so much of bruce’s philosophy relies on a genuine and earnest commitment to rehabilitation and restorative justice, but i also think (and maybe i’m wrong if anyone has comics recs lmk) but i don’t think i’ve seen a comic with the hard work of reaching out and healing/moving on from the past from both bruce + co and jason
i really love his character but especially now i don’t think dc knows what it wants to do with him so he’s in this perpetual limbo where he’s always on the edges of the batfam, a fringe black sheep member but a member nonetheless, still entangled with them
personally i would love either way but i wish dc would either separate him and let him do his own thing that’s not just punisher lite or really actually go through the process of making amends and fully integrating with the crew, learning to love and trust again and all that
omg this really got away from me so apologies for just word vomiting in your asks but yeah im curious dc puts you in charge of j todd’s next big character arc, what would you do with him
i don’t think that’s ignorance — dc is not known for hiring writers who can include and explore complex themes in their comics lol
personally i think the easiest way to trigger a redemption arc for jason would be take him away from the batfamily and force him to interact with other villains, specifically amanda waller and the suicide squad. task force z came kinda close to this, but didn’t push the concept far enough imo. jason’s interactions with black mask were some of the best parts of utrh — i want to see his ideology be questioned by people who do the exact same things as him, and are fully aware that they’re selfish and destructive.
the truth is that while jason is acting out and murdering people, he’s still bound to bruce. he is autonomously making decisions, but fundamentally he is choosing to stay. he’s choosing to be tethered. he’s choosing to care. seeing the indentured recruits of the suicide squad would be confronting to him.
i don’t think the happy family fanon dynamic will ever be possible without ruining every included character simultaneously, but that’s okay. that’s not what jason truly wants anyway.
specifically, i don’t think he’ll ever be able to work with bruce, which is why i find the jason + dick dynamic so interesting. you’re right — bruce’s fundamental mission is about restorative justice, and he would continue to reach out. dick, however, is a realist, and is extremely protective and territorial of the people in his care (tim, damian, the titans, etc) all of whom jason has hurt. jason has been shown on page to respect dick and his position, and simultaneously think he’s pathetic because he refuses to lose control.
for me ideally, he’d be someone on the very outskirts. i feel like dick and babs would be his point of contact — dick because he’s keeping an eye on jason, and babs because she has way less hangups about working with killers. otherwise? i think he’s lost the chance to properly bond with anyone who knew before he died. that’s the risk he took when he decided to become the red hood. that’s the tragedy.
but to be perfectly honest, the most restorative thing jason could do would be to leave the game entirely, and relearn how to live.
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chimcess · 8 months
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→ Chapter Seven: Growing Pains Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 11.6k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the south and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: ANGST BB, hurt, argument, sexism, I love/hate Bo, strong language, crying, PTSD, Impulsive decisions, I love Taehyung so much, he is my sweet baby angel, we need better communication skills, mentions of a toxic relationship (not reader and Jimin), Anger issues, mental illness, long hair Jimin for the win, emotional turmoil, conflicting feelings, emotional whiplash, talks of possible character death, let me know if I missed anything A/N: Not me surprising dropping. This was such a difficult chapter to write. I enjoy angst and everything, and this was meant to be the catalyst to the adventure we need to take, but that doesn't mean I like causing pain. Hope you guys like it!
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Bo and I stared at one another. Her jaw was clenched, and I could feel how tense my eyebrows were. We had been in this room for over an hour already and her stupid training was going nowhere. I did not want to learn how to talk to my husband properly. He enjoyed how I was already.
“Why are you making this so difficult?” She spat.
“Because I can,” I taunted. 
Her mouth twitched and I waited for her to finally snap. I would like a good fight to get all of my pent up frustration out. Instead, she took another deep breath and told me to point out the proper soup spoon. 
“This is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life,” I mumbled and pointed at the smallest one in the set.
“And you’re the dumbest thing that’s come into mine,” She bit back.
“This is really unnecessary, Bo,” Sol sighed from beside me. “Y/N has better things to do than sit here and look at silverware. None of us even use these anymore.”
I looked at her and hoped she could see how grateful I was she was sitting here with me. When Bo showed up at Jimin’s house this morning, the Luna had followed behind her every step of the way hoping we could put the traditional nonsense behind us. I did not see the point in following their customs more than I already did and Sol herself said no one really cares about certain formalities anymore. Jimin seemed sad to watch me go but more pleased than he let on. Sol said these preparations were meant for our wedding and it made him happy to think about. That was the only reason I was still sitting here.
“I’m sure Oxur Park knows how much Alpha Park loves a woman with knowledge,” The wolf gave me a satisfied smirk. “Unless you’ve decided to take that from him, too.”
Bo had made it her mission to get me out of their palace. Believing I had somehow tricked Jimin into loving me, the wolf had no issue calling our bond into question. Apparently, her outdated beliefs ran much deeper than I had originally thought. Either way, she was beginning to make my life all the more difficult. I had enough going on as it was.
“You are the most infuriating woman I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.”
“And you are the sneakiest little weasel I have ever laid eyes on,” Bo hissed.
“You’re both acting like children,” Sol laughed. “Bo, can’t we go now? I promised my husband alone time with his friend.”
With a satisfied smirk, I leaned back in my chair. Bo was not happy with the girl, but Taehyung’s wishes overruled her own. The perks of being the pack alpha, I guess. I did not wait for Bo’s response before standing up. Sol followed me.
“I expect you in your own room tonight, child.”
I did not respond. Sol giggled and grabbed hold of my arm as we left the palace library. If I had come here on my own, I might have admired the massive shelves and the beautiful wood they were made from, but Bo’s presence ruined whatever joy I might have gotten. She was such a pain to deal with. Knowing my foul mood, Sol began babbling about her and Taehyung’s wedding for the third time today.
“Oh, I wish you could have been there,” She pouted. “Taehyung wanted to wait for you to wake up, but all of us decided it would be in his best interest to hurry along. I hope you’re not upset with us.”
That worked and I cracked a smile.
“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not upset about it.”
Leaning into my side, the younger girl sighed happily. She always got like this when she spoke of Taehyung. He was akin to God in her eyes now and it was a funny sight to see. She was always so stuck up and stressed when I had known her that this new version of her was strange to see. She laughed and joked with others in a way I had never seen before. Taehyung was the perfect match for the Luna, and I was pleased with how happy they both were despite everything going on.
“You’ll have to forgive Ha-Joon,” Sol waved at a small group of maids. “She’s just always pictured her daughter with Jimin, and her death has brought out the worst in her. Don’t take it too personally, okay?”
“Easy for you to say,” I murmured, “She doesn’t hate you.”
The group of maids stopped to bow. I returned the gesture, but Sol did not. She was never raised to respect her help. Tossing a small smile at the women, my eyes caught a familiar face and warmed. Koda grinned happily back at me.
“Oh!” Sol exclaimed suddenly. “Isn’t this the most coincidental situation?”
Stepping away from my side, the wolf gestured to the group. None of them make eye contact with the Luna. None of them even looked at her face. I could not understand how no one thought this was strange behavior, but it was the status quo. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung about it. I do not think he would approve of this behavior at all.
“I was speaking with Elder Kim, and we decided that you need a servant,” Sol announced. “This group should do. See anyone you like in particular?”
She was completely serious. Not a shred of doubt or shame was written on her face. Sol was raised with this nonchalant way of ordering others around and it was disturbing to see in action. I would definitely speak to Taehyung. However, I could not deny the perks I saw. Looking at Koda, I knew I would be able to keep her safe as long as I kept her by my side. Giving the women a sympathetic look, I turned to Sol with a mask of indifference.
“If you think it’s necessary,” She smiled brightly. “Koda,” I looked at the older woman, “would you like to help me while I stay here?”
The woman walked to the front of the group. The other maids made space and suddenly none of them looked at me either. It was a horrible feeling and I wondered what they thought of me now. Wanting to make my intentions clear, I kept talking.
“Also, Sol,” I looked at my friend, “I don’t like the word 'servant'.’ Can we use something less… harsh? Like ‘companion?’ I don’t plan on staying here for very long so it just seems too,” I moved my hands and tried to find the softest explanation I could think of, “permanent.”
I was choosing my words carefully. Sol has never had her views challenged much and these women had been at her beck and call her entire life, so it was only natural she thought of them a particular way. I wanted to change her mind, but it would have to start with something small. The other maids seemed to relax, and their eyes wandered freely once more. I never wanted them to feel inferior to me.
“Hmm,” She cupped her chin, “I’ve never thought of that before. I like it.”
Turning her gaze to Koda, she grinned, “You will spend every moment at Oxur Park’s side. Under no circumstances will you leave her, understand?”
“Yes, Luna,” She bowed deeply. “Will I sleep in her chambers?”
“No!” I exclaimed. Flushing, I rubbed the back of my neck and bowed my head. “That won’t be necessary. I will be with Alpha Park during the night.”
Sol laughed heartily, “You’re just breaking all of the rules, aren’t you?”
I awkwardly joined her, “Might as well give her a reason for her dislike, don’t you think?”
Sol immediately dismissed the maids, Koda included, so we could continue our walk. Koda would be joining me tonight for my bath. I cringed at the thought and started to think of ways to talk to her about what I was expecting, or rather, not expecting her to do. I could do everything I needed on my own and had for many years of my life. I saw no need for someone else to bathe, dress, or tuck me in at night. Jimin would be the exception, but he was my partner and had seen me more intimately than others.
Sol continued to talk my ears off as we walked through the palace. I was still unnerved by how easily she commanded her maids. It was creepy. I could not picture Taehyung feeling comfortable by their pampering either, but would he ever say something that would offend his wife? It was difficult to say. 
I knew the other alphas had lived in the palace at points in their lives, and from what I had heard, Namjoon was still here full time. Unmated alphas were meant to stay in the palace until they were mated so they could be trained into leaders. Scowling, I thought of Ahn and his thick, white beard and how little help he was to everyone. No one ever spoke of him or his teachings, and Sol did not even seem bothered by her father-figure’s death. It gave me a sick sort of pleasure knowing that no one, possibly not even Bo, thought of him in a good light.
The repairs to the palace were the first to be completed. The elves had focused primarily on the civilian areas, and since the palace was the only place made of stone, the flames that ate away at the wooden homes in the main parts of the village. We had been seeing a great deal of progress in only four days, but there was still much to do. The town’s market was nowhere in sight, and they had only just gotten their water system back up.
“What does Taehyung want to talk about?” I asked. 
Sol had started a childhood story involving Ahn that I had no desire to hear.
“I’m not sure exactly,” She admitted, “He said he was hoping you two could go for a walk and catch up. It’s been a while since you’ve been alone.”
I nodded and pretended to listen as she jumped into another childhood story. Sol was a rather clumsy child. Looking at the dark stone, I felt my resentment growing. No one except for Taehyung had left to help the others. Not Kim nor Bo left their comfortable confines to help their community and yet they had time to talk about my manners and which servant I would get? It all seemed ridiculous to me. Even Sol herself was still living in la-la-land within these walls. Had she even seen what was done?
“You must promise to be our first child’s matrina,” Sol was talking about children. Again. Her unusual sense of pessimism was beginning to agitate me. “You are the only person I can think of I would trust with that honor. 
“Of course, Jungkook will have to be the patrinus, but I don’t think it will bother Jimin too much. He’s far too much like a brother to ask anybody else. Maybe for our second child? Taehyung would be overjoyed if you were both involved.”
I gritted my teeth and simply nodded along with her stories. Yes, a conversation with Taehyung was a must. Maybe he could make her see reason, or at least show concern for everyone else. At meetings she lounged on him like a cat and never paid attention when they spoke about serious matters. It was like her head was permanently up in the clouds. Had she always been so careless when it came down to things, or was this a new development since she joined Taehyung? I would never know the true extent of the answer, but I had to believe this was new. Sol was too serious before to let this kind of behavior out.
The large, cathedral windows let in the bright sun, but it was still so cold and dark in here. The maids had yet to fix the lighting fixtures inside yet, but even the candles they had lit did nothing to help. Our steps had a faint echo to them, and it made the lifelessness of the palace worse. I felt Sol’s hair brushing against my arm as she made herself comfortable at my side and had to stop myself from moving it out of my way. It was tickling my skin uncomfortably.
Sol let her hair out in the palace unlike any place else. The long, thick, black waves cascading down her back effortlessly, but I knew better now. Someone had spent a great deal of time and care perfecting the way it felt and twisted. Around her neck was the material she used to cover her hair and she would put it on if another man showed up here. It was something Ahn had made her do that made no sense to me either, but Sol was happy about it, so I never thought about it much.
“Koda is a wonderful woman,” Sol suddenly gushed, catching my attention. “You’ll like her very, very much.”
“What makes you say that?” I questioned, feigning disinterest.
“Well,” She started, “She was once a warrior before her sister died. She stopped shifting soon after that and moved into the palace so she could have a place to stay. Her sister’s husband kept their house and Koda was too uncomfortable to live there with him alone.
“Oh! I know she’s from out of town, so you can share many stories about that as well. The people from Viridi Gramine always have the most interesting lives. Take Hyuna for example, she’s the princess of her people and yet gave it all up for a life here with Hoseok. Isn’t it romantic?”
I stopped listening to her once again. It was useful information, and my interest only grew for the older woman. If she was from the Foxglove’s cousin pack that meant she would know a route through the Ozryn mountains. Hiding my revelation, I subtly picked up my pace. The sooner I got this meeting over with, the sooner I could find Cadoc. 
“She will be a wonderful companion for you to have,” Sol teased, placing extra emphasis on the chosen word. “I think I’ll start using that one as well. Servant does sound too harsh.”
I smirked in amusement. It was difficult to dislike Sol, especially when it seemed like she was having the most fun she had ever had. I imagined living with someone like Ahn was challenging. Still, her innocence and naivety were so odd when compared to her position in the pack. She was treated like glass that could shatter at any moment while held up as if she were a queen.
We descended down the large staircase in a companionable silence. That was rare for Sol, but I was sure as soon as our feet touched the first floor, she would start her rambling once more. It seemed like luck was on my side, however. Taehyung stood waiting for us, his eyes never leaving Sol’s little body. His happiness was enough to let go of my discomfort for Sol. She would learn in time, and Taehyung would be there to guide her. I would just steer him in the right direction. 
The clothes he wore were much nicer than anything I had ever owned. Navy blue silk contrasted beautifully with his tanned skin while the nearly black pants he wore extended his legs. He wore a pair of simple black boots and a matching belt. It was nice to see him so clean and dressed up. Soon we would not have those luxuries.
“Thanks for bringing her, mi conjunx.”
Sol bit her lip and looked down, “Of course, mi coniunx.”
“Bridd,” Taehyung smiled at me, breaking whatever spell he had been under, “May I take you for a small walk alone? I have something I need to discuss with you.”
“That’s why I’m here,” I squeezed Sol’s shoulder and walked down the last few stairs that separated us. 
It looked like Taehyung was physically pained to leave Sol’s side, but he showed as much restraint as possible. I heard her feet pitter-pattering back up the steps and Taehyung’s shoulders relaxed. They had spoken and it was still a mystery to me how it worked. I would have to ask Jimin about it later.
We stayed silent until we were out of the palace and walking out of Foxglove entirely. He wanted privacy today, so I waited until he was ready to speak to begin my questioning.
“How are you holding up?” Taehyung asked once we were well hidden within the trees.
I sighed. Cordelia’s passing had affected all of us, and Taehyung was beside himself with grief. He had hardly known her, but he was fond of everyone he met at my cottage. I confided in him about finding her body this morning. He stole me away for a few moments to ask my advice on his plans to invite the witches to stay in the palace, and the sea witch was brought up in conversation. I could tell he would make it a point to ask me about my emotional state whenever he got me alone.
“The etiquette classes have me thoroughly distracted,” I replied sadly. 
“And everyone else?”
“About as well as I am,” I muttered. “Wendy is in bad shape, but Seokjin is holding her close. I think they’re back in their confusing situationship again, which saddens me, but I understand. I can only hope it will be different this time.”
In truth, I had little hope. While Wendy may have decided she would choose Seokjin over Yoongi, I was also sure this budding relationship would fizzle out rather quickly. Wendy was once again latching onto the sun witch in a desperate attempt to make herself feel better, and like always, Seokjin would walk through fire to make her smile. I paid close attention to their dynamics, and it was reminiscent of old times. It was not lost on me, her lingering stare at Yoongi’s disabled figure laying on the floor near the fireplace during my short visit yesterday, and it made the pit in my stomach only grow.
Old habits die hard, and Wendy Byrd was too much of a daydreamer to put anything to rest. It made me uncomfortable to witness the same cycle play out once more. It sickened me to know the only reason she was not seeking out Yoongi was the fact that he was getting used to his new reality. One where he could no longer see. Seokjin was as hopelessly hopeful as always and put up those blinders once more. Life in pink so long as Wendy held him close. The front he had put up in my cottage so long ago was forgotten.
“They need to figure it out by themselves,” Taehyung replied. He was always telling me things I knew but I appreciated the sentiment. “I am curious about this sudden need to leave Bangtan.”
As always, Taehyung knew more than he led on. I did not know how he knew of my plans before I spoke to anybody else about them, but I was less surprised than I should have been. Cadoc and I had been completely alone in the forest that night, but if Taehyung was awake when we got back to the palace, he could have easily gotten an earful of whatever we were speaking about. I had learned during our time at my cottage that Taehyung’s sense of hearing was stronger than the other’s while Jimin’s smell and eyesight were almost double of what they should be.
“I should be far more surprised than I am,” I admitted. “You’re always such a nosey little minx, aren’t you?”
Taehyung chuckled with a nod. Nothing got past those eyes. I pondered over what to say to him. He always had a way of taking me by surprise and I knew Cadoc would not be upset with my slip of the tongue. No one would, actually. Looking at my friend, I reminded myself that he was my friend before he was the Alpha everyone else needed him to be. A man who loved to read my mythology books and ask questions about the forest creatures would never dare ask me to stay behind when there were adventures to be seen. I was also aware that he would be afraid of my loyalty. 
Cadoc had said I was becoming blinded by it. Loyal to a fault. Jimin and I were still at odds about my trip, but he had become resigned. We both needed for this to happen. For the sake of our friends and family I needed to try. I had failed once already, and I could not fail again.
“Are you going to talk to me about your secrets now?”
“I’m not staying in Bangtan for much longer,” I whispered, knowing he would be able to hear me just fine. “I have a different task. Something important.”
“I had guessed as much,” He laughed, an easy smile on his face. “Jimin is far too distracted, and the Quietus keep whispering to each other,” He stopped walking and turned towards me. “So, Bridd, where are you going?”
Biting my lip, I hesitated. How angry would he be if I told the truth? Angry was a strong word, I conceded. Taehyung was never angry, but I did not think he would be pleased. I was blatantly placing my own life in danger and lying to my mate about it. It was almost enough to make me rethink my choices.
“I need to find someone,” I said, bracing myself for the disappointment that was sure to make itself known soon. “When I died, I saw my aunt in the spirit realm, and she told me that I had to seek out an elemental called Naida.”
Taehyung frowned at me, his concern evident, but not so much so. He was not disappointed, but I could see fear. I could live with that. I was also afraid for my own life, but dwelling on those thoughts would get me nowhere. I had a mission to complete, and I would not be late this time. I would win. I had to. For my own sanity I would go.
“Is Jimin aware of this?”
I shook my head, “Nothing specific. He knows my plan to leave, but with everything so fresh and new I don’t want to worry him needlessly.”
“You are planning on telling him,” He pushed, “Right?”
I nodded, “The plan is to leave at sunset tomorrow. I’ll have more coverage at night just in case there are elf camps in the forest.”
I thought about the elf camp Jimin stalked that first night and shuttered. There were so many of them out there who had not come into the village. It was baffling to me why they would hesitate in their fighting only to move on so quickly. It gave the wolves too much time to plan and strategize and I knew they were not foolish enough to think they had better odds now. The wolves were on guard. The only thing that made sense were allies hiding in our ranks. Allies who were telling them our every move.
“Tell me something,” I dropped my voice even lower. “If I promise you that I will come back with help, will you keep the truth from the others?”
Stopping in his tracks, Taehyung stared at me. Jimin said the two of them had been speaking of a possible traitor and I would hope my friend would understand my perspective. My loyalty to the both of them was all consuming, my love was my life, and I would do whatever it takes to help them. Even if it meant lying to the man I loved more than life itself.
“I can’t keep something like this from him, Y/N,” Taehyung sighed. “You are my friend, but so is Jimin, and you cannot ask me to pick one over the other.”
“Even with the spy?” I challenged.
He looked through me then, his eyes burning a hole into my face searching for something. I don’t think I would ever know what Taehyung saw in me that day, but whatever it was it gave him pause. I had never felt just how strong or large Taehyung was until that moment. His frame towered over mine, his legs long and lanky, and his face impassive. That impenetrable wall that I found so disconcerting.
“Even then,” He smiled at me. “I would never risk your life or Jimin’s friendship. Even if you begged me to keep quiet, I would let him know the moment you were out of my sight.”
And I could not stop my returning grin. This was what I loved most about the boy, his endless love and compassion for others. He played tricks, told jokes, and made my head hurt from his never ending questions, but he also adored me in ways I had never been before. He adored my brain, my thoughts, and my courage. 
A memory of us in the cottage came back to me then. The sun had just come up and I had just gotten home. My training with Thelma had been brutal that night and I had hardly done anything, and my emotions were growing, expanding, and becoming harder to manage. Jimin was still asleep, his pale skin beautiful in the sun, and I did not want to disturb his peace.
When I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, I found Taehyung already up and a book in his lap. We had our typical small talk, a morning just like any other, but once I sat down at the dining table, I found him just watching me. The book was long gone, his face hard, and his eyes observing me. Those eyes that took in everything they possibly could. I wondered then if he knew what I was doing, where I was going, and why. Instead of answering those questions, Taehyung pushed his growing hair out of his eyes and beamed at me.
“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how thankful I am that you’re letting me stay here,” He said.
Tired and worn, I brushed him off like I always had. I was never the one for compliments and did not know what to say, especially with my guilt eating me alive. Taehyung ignored whatever poor attempts I had made to make him stop talking.
“Thank you,” He bowed his head. “I will never forget your kindness or strength. Hell, even your anger! You’re the first person I’d ever seen make Namjoon lose his cool.”
I ignored him and sipped on my tea. I don’t even think I looked at him again. I drank my tea, listened, and hoped Jimin would not wake up. I wanted to sleep in his arms for a while. It made the nightmares more bearable.
“I know you don’t really like this kind of thing,” Taehyung continued to babble. “I know you’re uncomfortable because of the way your hands tremble and your breathing changes. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you deserve my praise, but I want to give it to you anyway.”
“Why?” I rasped, looking out of the large window beside me.
It was the same window a white wolf had come to and asked for help.
“Because you’re hurting right now, and I want you to know it’ll be okay. No matter what happens you will always be my friend, and Jimin will always love you.”
Looking around me now, it was difficult to imagine a more beautiful sight. It had been so long since I last saw the trees in the sun, and it took my breath away. The heat and warmth were never far away but still felt foreign on my skin. It was still as quiet as a mouse out here, but I basked in its beauty regardless. Taehyung’s teeth were blinding, and I needed to squint.
“We’ll always be friends, right?” I asked.
He held up a pinky, “Always.”
I wrapped my finger around his and sighed.
Diving into the story once again, I told Taehyung why I had been distraught during those last few weeks. His reaction, much like the rest of him, was completely different from both Cadoc and Jimin’s. Even the witches had nothing on Taehyung, because as soon as I was finished, Taehyung hugged me and told me he loved me.
“What?” I choked.
“You were so afraid,” He patted the top of my head and pulled away. “You worked so hard for my family and friends. Thank you.”
“But-but,” I spluttered, “I messed up. I didn’t say anything. I got all of those poor people killed. My own friend-”
“But you tried so hard,” Taehyung soothed. “You wore yourself out learning those spells, you spent every single night trying to get better, and kept it all bottled up. How could I be mad at you for that?”
“Because I let you down,” I muttered. “I let everyone down.”
“No, you didn’t,” He chuckled. “When it counted you were there. You killed yourself, quite literally, mind you, for all of us without knowing it would work. You fought by our sides and gave up a life in the spirit world. You gave up your best friend.”
Bringing Shiloh up tugged on my heart strings. I missed her so much. I knew I would see her again someday, but I hoped she got her wish in the end. She deserved to be beautiful and dance in the sunlight like she always wanted. Sword fights and cooking were two things she dreamed of, and I knew she would be amazing at both if given the chance. I could only hope her hair would be as brightly colored as she imagined even when her human mind forgot all about our adventures. She would even forget about me. 
“And after it all you’re still you.”
Looking up at Taehyung, another facet of his personality made itself known to me. On top of his naive, golden-hearted mischief, Taehyung was also a wiseman. Aldara had spoken of his grandmother before, and I could see that that trait was passed onto her eldest grandchild. 
“But I still did a bad thing,” I whispered, my voice thick. “And I want to make sure I do everything I can possibly do to make this easier on us. I need all of you to live, Tae. I couldn’t bare it if anyone else died.”
“And we need you to live, too, Bridd,” He replied gently.
I said nothing. I knew that was the truth, but we obviously had different ideas about what was important. My own life meant very little to me after the fight with the elf. Hell, my life had meant little to me the night I found the cottage on fire, but I understood where Taehyung was coming from. I was his friend and he wanted to make sure I was alright. Thinking of Jimin, I knew my life meant even more to him. Still, I held onto my own ideas and that included keeping all of them as far away from harm’s way as possible.
He smiled sadly, “Who are you bringing?”
I sighed, “I haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t want to place anybody at risk or leave you unprotected in case I don’t make it back in time,” I did not voice my concerns for not returning at all. “Cadoc thinks Samanya should be with me, but she’s so fierce I’d rather be here to watch over Jimin.”
“Koda is a wonderful option,” Taehyung suggested after a beat. “She was a warrior in Viridi Gramine and served with the copiae for many years. She would be helpful for getting you to Ozryn and the Quietus would be extra security.”
I could not say the plan was bad, it was far too good, but that was the problem. Koda was an older woman now who could no longer change as far as I knew. She would be slow, and I would have to work twice as hard keeping her out of harm's way. I would have better luck going alone with Sam and finding our own way. 
“Then again,” The alpha sucked his teeth, “Koda is rather old. Perhaps Jungkook? No, he’s a boy and too childish.”
The ‘prince’ as Ahn dubbed him was always ready for a fight and light on his feet. He reminded me of Taehyung and Hoseok wrapped up into one young man, but I had my doubts on his ability to follow instructions. Anytime I had seen Jungkook he was either in trouble or on his way into it. So, for my own sanity in the coming weeks, I would agree with Taehyung.
“What about Hoseok?” Taehyung snapped his fingers. “Oh! He would be a perfect choice.”
I nodded along with him knowing I would never ask the alpha to come with me. He and Hyuna were a package deal and that was too many to take along. If I was taking Samanya then I would only bring one other, and I doubted his mate would allow him to go regardless. He almost died a few days ago and was still on bed rest at their home. 
“It’s too bad he’s resting,” I threw out knowing it would rule him out entirely. “I should just take Samanya and the two of us can figure it out together.”
“There’s always Namjoon.”
I shook my head vigorously.
“Absolutely not.”
I had made peace with the wolf during the fight, and I was certain our fight in my meadow was long forgotten. It did not mean I wanted to shack up with the alpha. He had proven to me his fickle nature and inability to make a decision on his own. He would be easily swayed, and I did not respect him for it. The thought of traveling with him made my head hurt.
“So stubborn,” Taehyung teased. “Fine. I’ll leave it alone.”
“Thank you.”
“Now,” He grinned, “Care to go gather some of those books I like so much? I think they’ll be a nice way to decompress during the night.”
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Walking through the streets, I was pleased by the progress everyone had made rebuilding. The market was still destroyed, but so many homes and businesses on the southside were almost completely finished. The north, were the copiae lived, would be the last place rebuilt. Elder Kim had said the children needed a place to go and the few homes that stood were not enough to house them all. Bo, in her typical fashion, was upset by this but held her tongue. 
She never wanted to disrespect a man. The thought made me roll my eyes.
Spotting Namjoon, I was pleased to see him and Taehyung working together. The younger alpha’s family home had been destroyed, all of them having to stay in the palace’s already crowded towers, but his mother was going stir crazy. Catching my gaze, Namjoon offered me a small, hesitant wave. I responded with a polite smile and continued walking. Taehyung was none the wiser. 
I was greeted many times, all of them kind, and I tried to stop and help however I could. My magic was still weaker than I would like, and I had not had any time to flex my abilities since the attack. Today, I was hoping to change that. 
“Would you like for me to help you with that?” I asked an elderly couple struggling to lift leftover roof tiles from their recent repairs.
“That would be lovely, Oxur Park,” The man replied, his voice gruff. “Just put them in that wheelbarrow. We’re giving the rest to Alpha Taehyung’s family.”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and attempted to focus. I was lucky the pieces were in a fairly neat pile and would be simple to move so long as I concentrated. A bead of sweat formed on my eyebrow. Lifting my hands, I mumbled under my breath.
“Flotian,” Cracking an eye open, the pile lifted effortlessly.
As quickly as possible, I brought the tiles to the wheelbarrow. Panting now, I knew I needed to flex my muscles a bit more. I was out of shape, and it was showing. With a loud clang, the tiles were ready to be pushed to Taehyung’s.
“Need a hand?”
Dropping my stance, I wiped my forehead and looked at Namjoon. He looked as weary as he had a few moments before, but this time I gave him a real smile. He returned it awkwardly. Whatever had happened during the battle had worn off, his confidence in helping me was replaced by the tongue-twisted man who had stood in my living room begging for forgiveness. Like so many, I owed him an apology as well. Gesturing at the wheelbarrow, I nodded. 
“Thank you,” The old woman gushed. “God bless you both!”
Embarrassed, I ducked my head and bowed to the couple. Getting busy with the task, I pointed out a few loose pieces that would not fit in the wheelbarrow. Namjoon gathered them and handed them to my outstretched hands. Taking hold of the heavy, blue metal, the alpha began pushing. I used magic and the leftover tiles floated, following us back down the road.
“Taehyung tells me you are traveling to Viridi Gramine soon.”
I was not expecting small talk, but I was even more taken aback by the lie. The boy was quicker than I thought. The fib would make my disappearance easier to swallow without leading the spies on my trail. It did, however, pose an issue for their neighbors. If the elves believed the wolves to be ready for an attack out East, they may choose to invade sooner.
“Yes,” I lied easily, the word falling off my tongue with such conviction I was almost convinced myself. “I leave in a few days.”
“Would you like an extra set of hands?” He asked. “I know you and I have been on differing sides as of late, but I would like for that to change. I do respect you immensely.”
I smiled sadly. After speaking so ill of the man earlier today he was ready to drop everything to help me. Even if it was to make amends, I acknowledged how unpleasant being away would be. If I were less prideful, I may have accepted his proposal. As it stands, my pride was the only thing I still had to hold on.
“I owe you an apology,” I replied. “I was not fair to you. I let my anger blind me. It seems that’s all I’m good for these days.”
I thought of Jimin and his gentle caresses. I did not deserve his kindness. With the rumors spreading he was bound to hear of Taehyung’s lie. He would have a few choice words for me, that I was sure, but I knew we would work through it if I was given a chance to explain myself. He trusted me enough to allow me that. At least, I hoped he did.
“Regardless,” I sighed, “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I have never been known to hold grudges for very long,” The man replied. 
“Still, I will have to decline the offer,” I threw the tiles on the ground. We were at the edge of Taehyung’s property and the young alpha was hard at work. With barely more than a small wave, Taehyung greeted us. Sparing Namjoon a tight-lipped smile, I continued. “I want as many people in Bangtan as possible. I’m traveling with a small group of quietus.”
Namjoon nodded, his long hair falling out of its loose ponytail. 
“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“I’m sure I won’t.”
With that, I bid both alphas goodbye and turned back around. 
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Standing in front of Jimin’s home was a short, pear-shaped woman. Her salt and pepper hair falling messily around her shoulders, thick bangs boxing in her already squared face. Tanned and beginning to show signs of her aging, her eyes crinkled happily at their corners as I approached. Her dress was tighter than it should have been, almost indecent in comparison to the other women around, but her large hips made it difficult to sew around. Her body would be considered provocative by the men, but the sight of it only made me feel inferior. 
I had not realized Jimin’s mother was so beautiful.
“Y/N,” She greeted me happily, her voice soft and sugary sweet.
I bowed, covering my chest with a hand, and closed my eyes. I needed only a second to regroup myself. I had not been prepared to meet my fiance’s mother today. Especially without him by my side. Mi-Jeong radiated positive energy and her smile was infectious. I hoped I looked as happy as she did, but I only felt myself growing more overwhelmed.
“Good afternoon, Mrs.Park,” I winced at how breathless I sounded. I cleared my throat. “How are you?”
“I’m well,” She winked. I did not know why. “You’re just in time for lunch.”
Ushering me inside, I was relieved to hear Jin’s loud voice booming over all of the others. Yoongi was no longer on the living room floor, and Wendy’s gentle laugh mixed with the others. Elated, I quickly took off my shoes and made my way into the kitchen. Mi-Jeong followed behind me, her little feet pitter-pattering against the wooden floors.
The little house was in perfect condition and the smell of fresh paint hung in the air. Spotting Callisto and Hyun-Jin, I smiled at the paint staining their clothes. At least we were all trying to make the most of our horrible situation. Enver was the first to spot me and a huge, face-splitting smile broke out across his little face.
“Bridd!” He cried; his excitement palpable. 
A streak of baby blue paint stuck to his cheek, but I did not care. The boy ran to give me a hug and I felt the wet paint soak through my dress. Greeted with loud, obnoxious cheers, I waved the others off and let go of my young friend. Yoongi looked around and I was sad to see he was still disabled. I had a feeling that would be a part of his life now. I hoped it would one day fade, but I was not sure the magic elves used to cause such damage.
“You have to try this,” Wendy moaned, pushing a large plate of noodles my way. 
The noodles were thick and covered in a thick, chunky, black sauce. They smelled heavenly. Wendy passed over her pair of chopsticks and gestured at the plate once more. Her mouth was still filled. Picking up a large mouthful, I slurped.
They were delicious. So savory and salty it made my eyes close in content. The noise of content I made was involuntary and I quickly went in for another bite. The plate was pulled away from me and I scowled. Yoona raised an eyebrow at me.
“Is there meat in this?” I asked.
“Pork,” Callisto replied, chewing on a large plate of vegetable noodles.
My stomach turned uncomfortably, and I was suddenly less enthusiastic. They were so delicious; I was almost angry about the pork’s presence. Still, I watched Yoongi bite down on a piece of fried fish and felt less guilty. These were trying times and beggars could not be chooser. I grabbed the bowl back, took another large bite, before Yoona pulled back her way.
“There’s plenty of food. You don’t get to hog all of the Jajangmyeon.”
Someone tapped my shoulder. Mi-Jeong smiled at me, and it reminded me so much of Jimin’s I paused. Holding up a pair of clean chopsticks, she chuckled. I handed Wendy back the borrowed sticks and took my own. Seemingly satisfied, the little woman elbowed her way into the circle and began to grab the dishes she wanted for herself.
The dining table was far too big for all of us to sit at and it seemed everyone chose to stand. Yoongi and Tae-Jin, who had been discharged from the infirmary this morning, were the only two who sat. Mi-Jeong moved Enver out of her way and sat. I could see Wendy placing food on Yoongi’s plate and frowned.
I would have a talk with her about that at some point. I did not have the time or patience to deal with any of that right now. Jin noticed where I was looking and turned. With a deep sigh, he shook his head, but ignored it. It was probably for the best. A couple’s quarrel would cause a huge uproar within the families. 
“Good to see you walking around, Mr.Kim,” I greeted Jin’s father.
“Nice to see you, too, kid.”
Passing around bowls and plates, I listened to the conversations around me. Jin and Wendy helped Jimin’s family with the construction repairs, and Mi-Jeong let Enver pick out the new colors for the walls. She had taken a very big liking to the boy. Thelma and the other women were taking a break from helping a family a few houses down but were planning on getting back to work as soon as they were finished eating.
“I was able to get Mannix this morning,” Jin threw my way. “Poor boy was shaking and so scared. He fell asleep in Callisto’s bed.”
I frowned. August, Yoongi’s cat, rubbed against my legs and I guessed he had gone for both of them. Hopefully the two of them will feel better soon. They had been left alone for quite a while. Wendy started talking about the witches from Syrena. Apparently, her coven was planning on coming out to the village to help. That brightened my mood. At least, in my absence, others will be around to help.
Callisto and Mi-Jeong soon left the room taking Thelma and Tae-Jin in tow. They were going to figure out a way to fix some of the loose floorboards in my future sister-in-law’s room. The circle around the table started to dissipate leaving only Yoongi, Jin, Wendy, and Ji-Hyun behind. The three of my friends were all jokingly loudly with one another as I took Mi-Jeong’s seat.
“So, Viridi Gramine?” Ji-Hyun’s eyes were telling, and I knew from the arch of his brow he did not believe Taehyung for a second. “Are you sure you can trust a Quietus to take care of you?”
The wolf was relaxed, his face and body language giving nothing away. Crouched beside my chair we would look like we were having a normal conversation, but he could not keep the malice out of his tone. Sinking into the chair, I turned my body towards his and hoped I could remain neutral. I did not want to fight with Jimin’s brother, but I refused to be intimidated.
I cleared my throat, “I’m sure we will be just fine.”
I did not have the heart to tell him I had yet to make any real decisions. That this entire trip was going to be a convoluted road of impulsive decisions. That I was going to be in more danger than anyone else could ever know. Ji-Hyun’s icy glare told me I did not need to say a word. He already knew what I was doing. His eyes were far more unnerving than Taehyung’s.
“Well,” He spoke softly, careful to keep the others from overhearing, “We can all hope you change your mind. Seeing you hurt would be heartbreaking for my brother. He barely survived it the last time.”
I had to commend the boy; he was very good at laying on the guilt. A thick cloud of shame wrapped itself around my body and it took effort to keep my expression neutral. Again, as it had been for days now, my anger bubbled to the surface. I could not remember being this angry in many, many years. I thought back to Namjoon and the incident in my front yard and looked away. 
I was lying to myself. Lying horribly. If I said I could not remember the last time I was able to relax then that would be more truthful. Anxiety and anger were a part of who I was, but I did a wonderful job at hiding it behind snarky comments and isolation. I had never been around so many people for this long and hiding these facets of my personality were growing harder and harder. Soon it would be impossible. This trip could be a blessing in disguise. Once again, I wanted to go off on my own. I knew I was lonely- it was companionship that I was working out.
I thought of Shiloh and sighed heavily. At least she knew when to give me my space. No one else seemed to understand my needs the same way. It was to be expected. She had been with me since I was a young child and never once thought about going away. When the others moved on with their lives after Aldara’s death, when they left me to destroy myself after I burned my bridges, there was Shiloh and her kindness. The singular light in my life for as long as I could remember- the only shine coming close being Yoongi. Now I was alone again and did not know when they would leave. This time, my closest ally was dealing with his own problems and would not have time for mine.
“I’ll be back soon.”
“We’ll see.”
It clicked then. Ji-Hyun believed I was fleeing.
“You may have everyone else fooled,” His voice was so soft, so low, I was positive we were the only two who could understand a word he said. “But know this- if you ever hurt my brother again, I will not be so forgiving. Taehyung is a fool to let you do this. I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.”
Smirking at my distress, Ji-Hyun pushed his hair out of his face.
“You’re abandoning us,” He cocked his head to the side and gave me a scathing once over. “Jimin would be a fool to think overwise. You will always be a coward. I mean, you let my friends die without blinking an eye, what’s the rest of them?”
Disgusted, I stood and placed my chopsticks in the kitchen sink before stalking back outside. I did not need to put up with his bullshit on top of everything else I was handling. He should feel lucky I walked away. Violent images of striking the boy with fire filled my head followed by ripping his head off the way I had the elf’s.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I used all of my willpower to push my murderous thoughts to the deepest corners of my mind. Again, I was losing control. Stepping out front, I took a breath of fresh air and made every attempt to calm my racing heart. Instead of calm, however, I became even angrier. Because right in front of me was none other than Jimin, the love of my life, looking at me as if I were a perfect stranger.
“Leaving already?” He asked, eyes narrowed.
Great, just great, now he was mad at me as well. My already shaky control was spiraling. I felt my skin heating and my breathing picked back up. I was going to explode if he did not stop. I bit my lip and took a nice, deep breath. His scent did little to calm me. In fact, a small spike in anxiety only made my fists clench. 
“I’m going for a walk,” I managed to get out, my voice far lighter than I was expecting. Jimin’s face darkened. “I didn’t realize it was taboo. Is walking illegal now?”
My sarcasm was not aiding either one of us right now. Whatever the reason for his anger, I should not be egging him on. Yet, I could not stop it. Trembling, I closed the front door and took a few more steps outside. Jimin did not move. I did not want to get any closer to him.
“Why is Taehyung lying to everyone?” He demanded, voice low and husky.
“Ask him yourself,” I snapped, already fed up with everyone and their conclusions.
“Are you lying to me?”
Scoffing, I shoved our shoulders as I passed him. He gave me a low, warning growl and turned to face me. Whatever voice that usually told me to bite my tongue was not around. It must have realized I would not listen. Looking up at him, I struggled to figure out how I really felt. Angry? Sad? Disappointed?
Looking into his eyes, I realized I was hurt. And that was a recipe for disaster. Steeling, I shook my head and looked at my feet. I had forgotten my shoes in my haste to get out of there.
“I told you we would speak, didn’t I?” I challenged. “How is that lying to you? Have you no faith in me at all?”
His pained expression told me everything that I needed to know.
“Of course,” I pulled away from him as if I had been burned. “Why would you anyway? It is me after all.”
“Amica-”
“No,” I threw my hands up. “I’ll see you later.”
I needed time to cool off and get my head back on. We had yet to argue, and I knew I would soon devolve into insults and petty jabs. I walked away without looking back, ignoring him calling out for me. He didn’t understand. They never understand.
I should have known he could never forgive me.
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Koda stood beside my bedroom door, a large towel in one hand and a small pile of cloth in the other. Her thin clothes would have done little to help me in the cold hallways, but I doubted she felt the draft. She gave me a gentle smile as I approached which I returned. It seemed she would be adhering to Sol’s request from this morning.
“What time will you be leaving tonight?” She asked, handing me the towel.
“After I bathe,” I replied. “I will shift and leave through the broken window downstairs.”
Koda chuckled breathily. We were both keeping our voices down. Neither one of us wanted our conversation to be overheard by prying ears. I knew Bo was listening, but her chambers were on the opposite side of the palace. Even if she tried her best, I doubted she would be able to hear us- unless she was lurking around corners. I would not put it past her.
“That’s been repaired,” Koda sniffed the air, paused, and continued to walk. “I’ve broken the latches on your bedroom window, so you should be able to leave easily tonight.”
After my bath, Koda left me to dress myself and walk back to my room. She was trying to respect my privacy as much as possible, but I knew it was difficult for her to watch me do what she perceived as her job. I would never get used to someone else washing my hair- it was strange. She did, however, put her foot down about drying my hair properly. 
“You will get sick, Y/N,” She scolded me gently, her fingers already in my hair.
She took great care and time drying the strands. She never pulled too hard or placed too much pressure on my scalp. After drying it completely, she ran oils and products through it that smell heavily of rose. I tried to convince her to let me go earlier, pleading that I needed to see Jimin, but she refused to budge. Koda was stubborn when she wanted to be.
By the time I left, it was long past midnight, and I was certain that Jimin would already be in bed. Before I could make it to him, Cadoc was floating beside me and told me we needed to speak. Tonight, we would talk about the trip and who I would be bringing. Tomorrow I will be leaving. It only served to make me all the more restless. Tonight, would be our last night and I wanted to get as much time in as I could. Even if it started with an argument, I was hopeful we could end it entangled in his bed.
“What?” I snapped, landing on the ground.
Shifting back, I stood in the destroyed market in nothing but the thin, cotton gown Koda gave me. The air was far more bothersome as a human than a bird and I rubbed my arms. Cadoc smiled apologetically and raised his arms in surrender. 
“We will be quick, okay?”
I grit my teeth and nod.
“Have you made a decision yet?” He asked.
“I will go with Sam,” I conceited, hoping this conversation would be over soon.
“She will be pleased to hear that,” Cadoc grinned. “Lorcan will deliver everything you need to take with you tonight. Look over it as much as you can tomorrow, and Sam will meet up with you at your cottage.”
“Thank you.”
Cadoc shook his head, “No thanks needed.”
My skin itched to walk away from him. I wanted to see Jimin, but I knew this was an important conversation. Trying my best to stay pleasant, I nodded and forced a smile on my face. From Cadoc’s amused expression, I failed miserably. Bidding me a goodnight, Cadoc vanished into the wind leaving me alone once more. 
Jimin was pacing when I walked into his small home. His hair was let loose, the silver strands frizzed and wild, but beautiful, nonetheless. Our fight this afternoon was still bothering him, and when I closed the front door, his head snapped in my direction. Worrying his bottom lip, I could see blood pooling where he had bitten off his skin. Eyes turning into slits, Jimin’s glare was murderous.
“So, you’re planning on getting yourself killed?”
The question hung in the tense air. Whatever hopes I had for this being a good night were dashed away. Cocking his head to the side, Jimin waited for me to speak but I could not find the words to say. He knew and I was at a loss. Taehyung must have said something in the fear that I really would take the cowardly route. 
“Nothing to say?” Jimin pushed, seething. “You had plenty to say at my mother’s. Come on then, tell me.”
I scowled. His bad attitude was understandable, but it did little to soften my increasingly hurt feelings. That anger from earlier was rearing its ugly head. I had plans to tell him tonight and I was angry at Taehyung for going behind my back. Squaring my shoulders, I sighed loudly.
“I doubt you’d listen to me anyway,” My voice was cold and hard. Far harder than I intended for it to be. “You’ve already seemed to have your mind made up about things.”
Scoffing, Jimin marched towards me with a purpose. Standing my ground, I tried my best to dispel my growing anger with little success. My newfound temperament would only make this situation worse but when our chests pressed together and Jimin looked every bit the alpha he was, I did not care. I wanted to scream and fight, bite and scratch, maybe then I could feel myself relax. Maybe all of my anger was a buildup of pressure that I desperately needed to get rid of. 
“Why is it that I have to hear about this plan of yours from Sol of all people?” He demanded. 
Of course, Taehyung would have spoken to his mate about our conversation. I was foolish to believe anything between us would remain a secret. Now, Sol’s face flashed through my mind and my resent bubbled over. Who the hell was she to tell Jimin anything? 
“Why are you taking her word over mine?” I challenged, my teeth gritted.
“Stop answering my questions with questions!” Jimin shouted, walking away from me. “I believe Sol more than anybody. More than you. At least one of you has never kept anything from me.”
That was a low blow and we both knew it. Instead of remorse, the flash of guilt that came across his face soon morphed into indifference. He almost seemed proud of the insult. I refused to cry, the angry sting in my eyes only adding fuel to my already raging fire, and I swallowed thickly. Two can play this game but if he was more concerned about winning then I would gladly let him insult me alone. Taking a step back, I prepared to leave for the night. 
“For what it’s worth,” I looked at my feet, “I really am sorry.”
“Stop apologizing to me,” Jimin snapped, his voice so harsh and critical it made me cower. “You’ve done nothing but apologize for days. What else can you do?”
I knew he was just upset and hurt by my plans, our fight only making this one that much worse. I knew he would never say something like that to me under normal circumstances. I knew he would feel awful for his choice of words once he had the chance to cool off. Yet, the hurt and anger spread through my chest and infected every part of my body. He was right, I could not offer him anything but apologies. I knew it was too good to be true. Spiraling once more, I did not realize I was crying until the tears ran down my neck and tickled me.
“Don’t apologize when you’re going to keep doing this shit,” He spat, each word laced with venom. He was only a few feet away from me and I had never felt further away from him. “Apologize when you decide to change. Apologize when you realize I don’t need a martyr- I need someone who won’t lie and keep things from me.”
“I skewed up, alright?” I finally responded, “But I never once lied to you.”
“Yes-”
“No,” I cut him off, my blood boiling. “I did not lie. I told you I was leaving, that it would be difficult, and I told you I would tell you when I knew more.”
“But you were thinking of lying to me till the end!” He screamed.
“I admit that,” I shot right back, my voice growing louder. “I would do anything if it meant you were safe- even if that meant lying to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you!”
“Morologus es!”
The silence was so very loud then. Bottom lip wobbling, I took yet another step back. Whatever comeback I could have thought of fell short. Jimin’s conviction was astonishing, and his doubt felt like a punch in the gut. I needed to get out of here. I could hardly breathe, and his scent was becoming suffocating.
“Stop using me as an excuse,” His onslaught continued. “Just admit you want to be the hero. You can’t just be happy with me- no! You have to be the Bridd who runs, and jumps, and begs for the slightest bit of danger if it means she can be the victor! Even when it means getting an entire village killed!”
His words felt like a slap in the face. Was that the reason he thought I wanted to go? It had never even crossed my mind, but the confidence he held made me doubt myself. Wiping my face, I shouted obscenities and tried to catch my breath. I knew he blamed me. It was all my fault. All of this was my fault. Jimin completely ignored me and stood a few feet away, his words like knives, and his gaze like stone.
“This-” He gestured between the two of us, “-Whatever you think you may feel for me is wrong. You don’t love me. This is not love. Running towards your death to redeem yourself is not loving me.”
“Sorry doesn’t fix everything,” He murmured, the edge finally beginning to soften.
“Did you say something to your brother?” I demanded.
“Wh-what?” He spluttered.
I laughed humorlessly, “Cut the shit, Jimin. Whatever you’ve said about me has obviously affected his view of me, or was calling me murderer some one-off occurrence? Somehow, I have a hard time believing he’s come to that conclusion all on his own.”
“Ji-Hyun would never say something like that,” He hissed, his breath heavy. “Why would I speak badly about you behind your back? Unlike you, I’m an upfront person.”
My anger flared once more, and I could slowly see the corners of my vision distorting. As badly as I wanted to end this fight and make up, I knew that would not be possible. Not now. Not ever. Again, he was calling me a liar. Again, I would have to fight this uphill battle to prove myself. Again, I was losing a game I never knew I was playing in the first place.
Cadoc had been wrong. Love was never given freely. Nothing in this life was. Jimin would always need for me to prove myself to him. I would have to fight, bite, scream, and scratch if I wanted to show him that I care. Why I ever hoped it would be different was foolish on my part. 
“Are you so angry at me that you’re dragging my brother into this?” He shouted.
I scoffed, “There you go again, treating me as if I am some kind of irrational monster. So, I ask you again, do you really think that little of me?”
Jimin said nothing. Frustrated and tired, I finally had enough. I could smell ash and smoke all around me, and I knew I was about to find myself back at my cottage. Cordelia’s face was in my mind, Aldara’s arm hanging out of the wolf’s mouth, and I knew I needed to leave. Numb and slowly dissociating, I sniffled.
“Fine.”
“What?” He had the nerve to look abashed.
Hand on the front doorknob, I shook my head in defeat. It was over. Jimin was rejecting my love and whatever else I had to offer him. He did not believe in me at all. Somehow that hurt me more than the rejection. His faith had always been constant, his love tender and warm, and that was gone now, too. I had nothing. I was nothing. I deserved whatever I had coming to me. Finally, I had gotten my wish. Finally, he was shouting.
“I didn’t mean to ruin your life,” Devoid of emotion, I sniffled. “I know I made a mistake, but I’m trying my best. Doesn’t that matter?” My voice tapered off towards the end.
Jimin said nothing. I turned the knob and was back outside. I stopped waiting for him to stop me once I could no longer see his home. My feet felt like they weighed twenty pounds each and dragged along the dirt road beneath my feet. I needed to get back home. I chuckled humorlessly when I realized I no longer had one.
I truly gave up on him coming to gather me in his arms once the palace came into view. It was eerily quiet tonight and I wanted to go get lost. I wanted to forget. I wanted to leave. 
The thought occurred to me so quickly, so easily, that it made me smile. Yes, I would leave tonight. It was better this way. I would no longer be a burden to this place and the others could live peacefully without me. Even if I died, I doubted it would matter. Nothing I had ever done worked out anyway. It would be nothing new.
Shifting, I scaled the walls and flew into my bedroom. Just as Cadoc said there were countless items at my disposal all wrapped up and ready to go. I would have plenty of time to look over them tomorrow morning. I would sleep in Moland tonight, hopefully not getting too lost, and try to ask for directions once I reached civilization. It was better than hurting anybody else. It was better than getting any more blood on my hands.
At least I could remain the hero. 
I cried in pain. I could not believe he thought so lowly of me. No wonder he refused to touch me, I probably disgusted him to no end, and he was hateful that we were bound to one another. Something told me I should stop packing, stop moving, and to breathe, but I ignored it. I did not care what it had to say. 
Throwing a few spare changes of clothes, paper, and a few spell books, I knew I needed to change out of the frilly nightgown Koda had changed me into. Throwing on an old, loose shirt, I looked around for my trousers when I stumbled across Aldara’s journals. I had yet to open them since I came here. Running my fingers over the spines, I made the split decision to take them with me. I would need her company to keep me sane.
Finally, I came to a stop as I caught sight of my jewelry box. I had Heidi’s ring on my left hand and Griselda’s on my right, but they felt far too empty. Opening the lid, the cool ceramic felt heavier than normal in my hands. It took a few minutes of digging before I found Aldara’s ring and slipped on my right hand. The bird’s head encased my entire index finger, but I did not care. I would be taking this ring. I found my own a moment later, a chain wrapped around the band.
Pulling it out, I secured it around my neck and looked down. I gasped. There shining and glittering under the candlelight was Taehyung’s necklace. The carnelian had been marginally larger than the tip of my thumb, perfectly rounded, and it’s red coloring deep and beautiful. I could see the faint, dark marbling within it, but the lights made it hard to capture its beauty. Spiraling around the stone was a thin wire of steel that ended with a small loop. I thought Taehyung would like something simple, so I finished it off with a long piece of dark cord that I carefully braided. It was beautiful.
My anger dissipated at the sight of it. I had spent days working on that necklace hoping I would not break the stone. I completed it a few days before the present ceremony, but when everything went to shit, I had completely forgotten about it. I placed it on the desk and sighed. 
Thick, hot tears ran down my cheeks as I cried. I had such high hopes for everyone. If I could turn back time I would, why could nobody see that? Why was Taehyung the only person I believed when he said he would love me regardless? Bitter, I wiped my face roughly and went back to packing.
He was the only one who meant it, that’s why.
Reaching into my back, I pulled out a single sheet of paper and prepared my ink. I would have to leave something for him at least. No need to worry the people who cared for me. Even Jimin. I can’t forgive myself, but I could forgive him. Maybe when I come back, we could work things out.
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Taehyung,
Do you remember this? It feels like a lifetime ago. I hope you like it. I wish I could have made a matching one for Sol, but maybe that would have been too perfect. When I get back, I will make sure I have one waiting for her neck. The two of you deserve it. Even if I am angry with your wife, I know I will get over that soon enough.
Tell the others how sorry I am for this impromptu banishment. I fear I have made a real mess of things lately and I don’t know how to make it better. No one believes in me, no one thinks I’m capable, and I can’t figure out what it is they mean by it? Am I not strong enough or is it because it does not matter? I’m sorry if this is confusing. Tonight, has been too much for me. No- today has been too much. The last ten years have been too much.
I haven’t had my head on right in a very long time, Tae. So, I beg of you to forgive me. I promise you that no one had a part in my decision to leave like this. It’s all my own doing. I can only hope I make it back in time to tell you how much you mean to me. How much all of you mean to me. 
Tell Yoongi that I will miss him more than I miss breathing. Tell Jin his laughter will be something I think about to keep me going. Tell Wendy how much I’m going to miss her hugs and will yearn for them every day. I need my witches to know that I adore every single one of them and will do whatever it takes to keep them out of harm’s way. Thank Thelma for me. Let Enver know how proud I am and that the blue looks nice.
Lastly, let Jimin know I love him more than anything else in this life. Even my own. That will never change, even when he is frustrated and angry at the world. I promise I will try my best to come back home in one piece. I promise, as the Gods look down upon me, that I will do everything in my power to bring help back. I don’t care where I have to go or what I have to do. I will not come back empty handed this time.
Be careful. The elves are not known for their mercy.
With all my love,
Y/N
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Slipping on my pants, snatching a pair of earrings Yoongi gifted me for my birthday a few years ago, and lacing up pair of boots, I slung the bag over my back and enchanted my things to flex and change as I did. Afterwards, I shifted and flew out of the window. I did not look down or wait for somebody to find me. Tomorrow morning, they would wake and the cause of all their misery would be gone. I would fight tooth and nail if it meant I had a better chance of getting help to these people. Aldara had never led me astray before.
I wished I could have told Jimin that.
Broken hearted and lost, I flew above the trees and watched the world I know leave me behind. Flying would get me somewhere, but the elves would grow suspicious of a raven wearing a backpack. Soaring, Thelma’s small boat home cut through the trees and I knew I would have some place to rest my head tonight.
I wished Jimin could have been here with me.
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Translations:
Matrina - Godmother
Patrinus - Godfather
Mi conjunx - My wife (Addressing)
Mi coniunx - My husband (Addressing)
Morologus es! - You’re talking like a moron!
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I know I’m a jerk for this...please don’t be mad at me. It’ll get better... eventually.
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Taglist: @greezenini​ @adventures-in-bookland​ @kthstrawberryshortcake-main​ @zae007live @jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin​ @yamekomz @chimthicc​ @michiiedreamer​ @amorieus​
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© chimcess, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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arcade-writing · 2 years
Note
Could you do one where the reader is lucifer daughter and in a relationship with Morpheus/dream
Let's go
Now Im assuming you're talking about smut since my only Morpheus fic was one. Idk if this is what you're expecting but my brain went places and this is where it went
Burning Passion
NSFW 🍋
Pairing: Morpheus x Lucifer's daughter! Reader (AFAB)
Warning: You are tall - not as tall as your parent tho, Bottom! Morpheus, brat taming, crying kink, creampie, punishment kink, dirty talk, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, shibari, nipple play, cock warming, oral, drool kink, minor spit kink, rough sex, sexual torture, minor boot licking, HEAVY BDSM, humping, pet play themes, degrading and praise kink
Please be warned that this has heavy BDSM themes and a Dom/Sub dynamic that goes beyond the bedroom. Discussed, planned and set up outside of this fic - knowing each limits and will be done as an established relationship.
Remember, if you want to be becomes someones sub or Dom, communication is key. Always talk about what you want and what they want! What are limits and safe words.
Me projecting onto Morpheus??? No never - definitely not ( ・ั﹏・ั)
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"You summoned me, Dream lord, I hope this is important.” Your eyes met his, his usual stoic expression of his face as he stood at the stairs, only a walking up a few. Your cheek pressed against your palm as you got comfortable in his throne. 
He gulped. His façade slipping. You both knew why you were here. Not that he would dare to say it out loud. After all, you were Lucifer's daughter. Bound to be enemies but instead the two of you had a much different dynamic. One he doubt anyone would approve of. 
You let out a small purr, stalking down the steps to meet him half way. A smirk making its way on your lips as you recognized the thick leather wrapped around his throat.
"Do you have no shame? Wearing your collar for all your people to see, how would they react knowing their King was claimed by a Morningstar?"
He said nothing. Keeping his expression stiff as you began to circle him. Sizing him up with each flicker of your gaze. Delighted in the way his hands trembled as he tried to stay composed. When you were together he was no longer a King. He was your play thing. He accepted that the moment this relationship of yours started. It's why he wears the collar you made him.
"Does that excite you? The thrill of the risk?"
You cupped his jaw. Tilting his head up as you stood before him. He only came down to your chin. It was adorable how small he was. Such a frail body for a powerful entity such as himself. And here, in his realm, he was at his strongest and yet he looked so weak in your hands.
"Sweet Morpheus, if you wish to be so bold and wear it, the least you can do is wear it properly." You teased, adjusting the collar so it was no longer backwards.
The silver ring clinked gently against his collar as you gave it one last tug. Checking it was comfortable on his neck. Morpheus didn't dare break eye contact. Even when you looked away he followed your gaze. Always ready to meet it when you put your attention back onto him. You sat back on his throne, pulling the leash from your pocket. He immediately stiffened at the sound of the small chain. Instantly recognizing the black rope you held in your hands.
“As pretty as you look, I am a very busy woman and if you believe you can just summon me whenever you feel needy, think again, little dream.”  
You held the rope in both hands, clenching it tight as you suddenly snapped it, it echoed through the room. Dreams breath hitched. You knew that look in his eye; pleading for your rough treatment. Being a brat gave him exactly what he wanted and you couldn't deny him. You loved to indulge. Didn’t mean you couldn't play with him a little. Beckoning him towards you, he stumbled up the and stood before you. His composure already crumbling at your glare. 
“You know what to do.” 
He swished his hand, his clothes disappearing into a wisp of dust. Revealing his pale skin underneath. Completely bare other than the collar on his neck. You attached the leash to its ring, whispering into the rope as your eyes bore into his. As soon as you let go the rope began to wiggle as if it was alive. Winding up and around his body. Fastening itself in tight knots, his arms now bound behind him. Rope cupping and moulding his body - from his chest down to his thighs.
Rope. Something that bound his limbs. Caged him. He never thought he'd find it as comforting as he does now; once finding the idea of being trapped enough to make him scream. To claw at the walls as he demanded his realm to stretch further.
But now he felt safe. Guarded. Knowing he could be freed just as easily as he was trapped. They were soft on his skin, only rubbing in slightly but nothing enough to hurt him in a way he didn't want.
“Kneel.”
And he did so happily. Falling to his knees before you. Staring up at you in all your glory. You did no inherent wings like Lucifer, you had horns that stood tall. Like a crown.
You were a queen to him. His queen.
He instantly went down. Trying to fight the smug grin threatening to show. He must of felt so proud of himself, knowing you couldn't resist playing with him. If punishment is what he wanted then he’ll get it. After all, you were a being of Hell. Punishment was your speciality. 
That's what Morpheus liked about you. you were ruthless. you didn't treat him as if he was fragile. Even with your power over him you never treated him as if he was weaker. He was your equal. 
You stretched out your boot from under your robes, your fingers threading into his onyx locks. "Kiss it, show me your devotion."
He lowered himself down, you hunched over; following his movements as you kept your hand in his hair. Dream placed a small kiss onto your boot, his eyes flickering up at you. His tongue dragging along the leather of your boot. Licking up a long strip as he groaned.
You shoved his face closer forcing a quite whimper out of him. "Did I say you could do that? Always wanting to disobey."
Morpheus finally let himself show his smirk. Tilting his head up so you could see him. "And what will you do about my disobedience, Mistress?"
Your brows knitted as you pulled him closer to your leg by his hair. Wiggling your foot under his sex which caused him to gasp.
"Hump it, you pathetic excuse of a Lord, keep trying to push me and see what happens."
He shivered at your voice, it was more of a growl. Deep and seething with disgust. Bumping your foot up to give him friction. The tip of your boot digging into his ass cheek.
"Don't even think about touching me, this is all I give you."
Morpheus swallowed the knot forming in his throat. Grinding against the soft leather, his eyes fixated on your face. Watching each twitch of your brow. Your sneer as you watched him. Loving everytime you tugged at his hair. He just couldn't help him, pressing his body to your leg as he left open mouth kisses just above your knee. Where your skin was exposed. You scoffed at his bratty attitude.
He moaned as you yanked his head back. Your other hand reaching out and gripping his chin. Your thumb pressing against his parted lips. Prying his mouth open, his tongue poking out. You pressed his tongue down as you pulled his head back. He whined as he rutted against your leg.
His body jolted as the taste of your spit landed on his tongue. You grinned as his drool dripped down his chin. His salvia mixing with yours.
"Keep disobeying me and I'll leave you like this, unable to pleasure yourself and exposed for anyone to find you, they'll get to see how much of a slut you are."
Whilst Morpheus knew you were being all bark and no bite the threat still made him shudder. Adrenaline spiking through him. You finally let go off of his tongue and he exhaled a shaky breath. Swallowing your combined spit.
"Forgive me... Please let me pleasure you, Mistress."
You hummed, pretending to think but you just smiled. Guiding him between your legs as you moved the front of your robe out the way. Where he could see your exposed cunt glistening in the dim light.
He leaned forward after you nudged his head. Trying to get as much of your sex in his mouth as he greedily lapped up at your folds. Quickly going to suck on your clit. Swirling it with his tongue as your back arched. Keeping his face pressed to to your sex. There was many things Morpheus was good at but his mouth was his most talented. Whether it be speaking or eating you out. It felt like magic.
"Thats- that's it, Good boy, that's it, My Lord, You're making me feel so good-!"
He hummed, pleased, around your sensative bud. Using his nudge at it as he went back to slurping up your juices.
"Just be good and don't cum, You can only cum when I say-"
You Could feel your legs twitch, your thighs squeezing his head as you let out a strings of curses. Bucking your hips.
"Eating me out so well - Keep being my obedient pet-" Your words kept being cut by your moans. His tongue prodding at your hole as you grinded against the bump of his nose. "I'll fuck your cock until you can't cum anymore - just keep making me feel good!"
Morpheus cried out as he jerked. His cum sputtering out onto the marble floor as he whined. Just the sight was enough to push to your own release. Groaning as he still hungrily drank up your slick.
You pushed him off you. His back landed on the floor with a thud. Gasping as he tried to came down from the sudden high. The rope binding him unraveled returning to it's normal form. Hastily guiding his sensative cock between your wet folds. He moaned at the sudden sensation as you sunk lower.
You clenched around him at the small ache but was able to ease yourself down. Sitting still ontop him as you coiled the leash around your hand. His shimmering blue eyes were wet with tears as he tried not to cum a second time. You felt so good-
"Just couldn't keep being good, could you? You just had to cum."
"You tasted so good...I couldn't help myself, you taste like heaven." He breathed out. His hands clenching beside him as he resisted every urge to grab your hips. Desperately wanting you to move.
His lips were still glossy from spit and your wetness. Licking them so he could keep tasting you. He wanted more. He NEEDED more.
Wanting you to just take what you needed from him. Use him. Let your pleasure be his.
You clenched around him harder. He looked so pretty underneath you. Just on the edge of being completely out of it from the pleasure. His clever mind hanging on by a thread as it edged towards mindlessness.
Apart of you wanted to spare him. To spare yourself from dragging this out any longer but you loved seeing him crumble. To turn into a desperate mess only wanting to cum. Begging you to fuck him. To ride him until he can't think.
You shivered at the thought.
Dreams breath hitched, your hands finding his chest. Tweaking his perked nipples. One hand soft and warm whilst the other was being rubbed by the rope of the leash. The difference making his head spin as he bucked his hips. You slammed yourself completely down, bottoming out making you both moan. Keeping him pin underneath your weight as he tried his hardest not to move.
You tugged and pinched his nipples. Loving the way he moaned so sweetly for you. Leaning down to kiss his cheek. Trailing them up to his forehead. A reward for being less bratty than usual. Just a moment to remind him this was all for his pleasure.
He melted into your kiss. Trying to find your lips so he could kiss you but you kept moving away. Rolling his nipples torturously slow. Refusing to move as your walls hugged his aching cock.
How long did you two stay like that. You toying with him as he choked back tears. Just cock warming him. He was sure his cock was bright red from how hard he was holding himself back.
"please Mistress, let me cum, I want you to ride me, let me fill you with my cum-"
"And what makes you think you deserve that?" You teased. Knowing full well how much he's been holding himself back. He hasn't even tried touching you this entire time.
"spare me - let me cum-"
As soon as you saw a singular tear roll down his slim cheek you caved. Cooing soft praises as you started to move. Moving up and down on his cock. Just the movement made him lose all strength, instantly painting your walls with his cum. His hands shooting up and digging into your hips.
You kept bouncing through his release. Slowing down as his high faded before picking back up your pace. Moaning as you slammed down. His cock hitting that sweet spot instantly.
He smirked. "Am I making you feel good, Ma'am? Enjoying bouncing my cock so much you look like you're about to cum already."
He was right. Unable to stop Yourself as you threw your head back. Squeezing his dick tight as your orgasm ripped through you. But you didn't stop. No, you were going to keep fucking him until he was sobbing.
"Disgusting pet." You pulled on the leash, glaring down at the blissed out King underneath you.
He was in his own little world, desperately thrusting up as he chased what could be his fifth- tenth? Orgasm. He's lost track at this point, each time growing shorter and shorter between them. Whimpering pathetically as he gripped onto your thighs for dear life. The only thing keeping him grounded was the warm skin under his fingers.
The smirk that was once on his face was long gone. Lips parted as more breathless moans escaped his throat, drool building up as his eyes fluttered back with every insult.
You were cruel. Venom in every word but he loved it. He loved the hate in your eyes. How you looked down at him like he was nothing.
"Is this what you wanted? A hole to fuck like some damn pervert - do you feel no shame?"
He shook his head as another load released. "I can't - I can't cum anymore - please-"
"But you were so desperate earlier, I thought you wanted this? Don't tell me your this pathetic."
Your legs were wobbling, tears threatening to fall. Feeling just as overstimulated but you couldn't show you. No, you were the master of the situation.
"Come on~ be a good boy and give me one more, you can do that - can't you? You don't want to disappoint me, do you?"
He shook his head again. Another Tug to his leash reminded him to get to it. Fat Tears rolling down his cheeks as continued, both of your moans drowning each other out as you came together.
You finally fell foward. Luckily moving in time to not knock your horns into his face. Your body wouldn't stop trembling. Twitching as you were ruined by your own pleasure. He was in the same position. Whining at each flutter of your cunt.
You pulled yourself from him. Groaning at the sudden emptiness. Morpheus laid there, watching his cum pour out of your sobbing cunt. Biting his lip as it slid down your thighs.
But he was completely fucked out. He couldn't even move as you laid beside him. Hugging him close to your chest as he nuzzled into your skin.
"i think i'll be satisfied for another century after that." He let out a weak laugh. "You don't need to worry about being parted from your work."
you just shook your head.
"You know I love visiting you, dream, right? Please feel free to allow me into your realm whenever you please." Placing a kiss on his forehead before ducking your head. Finally letting him press his lips to yours.
He smiled into the kiss as your hands caressed his body. His hands wrapping around your middle. Loving how you felt against him. He felt compete.
You stayed in his arms, praising him and making small talk until you were needed back into your realm. Leaving him one last kiss before sinking down to the ground below.
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dnangelic · 6 months
Note
TSUN! I HAVE SOME CHOICE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU!!!!
you are such an absolute delight to see on the dash and interact with, and that is no exaggeration! I adore all of your muses and even if i don’t know any of their respective medias, i learn about them through your writing and your metas and you talking about them and thats so fun to do!!! ITS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE THING EVER! I appreciate you giving my dazai a chance despite not knowing bsd aswell as p much any of my other muses sknsksns you’ve been so sweet to me since we first became mutuals and i genuinely love seeing you around so much 😭 i see you on the dash and my day gets atleast 10% better without fail every single time. i hope u talk about your boys forever and ever . ITS SO FUN TO BUILD DYNAMICS WITH YOU!!! anyone is lucky to write with / plot with / interact with you i wont even lie and i genuinely believe that nsjsksnsjssn i appreciate that you show interest in so many of my muses it makes my heart so so so warm . I HOPE WE CAN CONTINUE WRITING NOVELS TOGETHER FOREVERRRRR even though i know im the one who owes you like 2829922 things ksnsksns DW AB THAT . I ALSO WANNA SAY about you writing dark and daisuke specifically i think its so good how much care you put into a series thats really old and like Ive genuinely put the manga on my reading list BECAUSE of the interest garnered from your writing !! SOLELY BECAUSE OF YOU ! u are an absolute angel ( … hehehehensnensn … bejbwnw … get it bc … bc …!2&2!/@/!/82 s hehehehe ) AND YOU ARE ALWAYS SO KIND TO ME and always so interactive and i can’t even beginnnnnnnnnnnnnn to properly articulate how much of a joy you are 2 interact with !!! wishing you and daisuke and dark and yan qing and all ur muses the best day ever . 🙌
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OH MY GOOOOOOSH and to think i was sitting here at ur post like 'should i ask permission for nine asking for permission. what if nine doesn't wanna say anything. i hate feeling like im ever panhandling for a compliment. nine should be pouring soup into my lap and slapping dark + calling him a bitch so i can finally apologize but youuuuUUU YOUUUUU ALL THESE FEELINGS R SO MUTUAL!!! I LOVE SEEING U TALK!!! IT BRINGS ME SM JOY TO SEE U POST!!! even the most random stuff. doesn't matter if its long or short. literally dont even worry abt owing me stuff ur presence alone is also a DELIGHT ur fr like such a funny mut and person BUT UR ALSO SO GOOD AT UR MUSES TOO??? LIKE i could go on forever abt how much i respect ur dazai alone and how even if i don't know bsd canon that's probably for the best, bc ur now ur dazai is The canon dazai to me, but u also have like nine... billion... (hehehesbhgbssnsjkdj x2) MUSES ON UR MULTI THAT U ALSO FLAWLESSLY INVEST URSELF IN AND!! WOWWWW WHAT A MUN!!! genuinely im so glad i found u even in this hellsite and that i can just toddle around following u like this everywhere 🐥 every like i leave on ur post is me picking at it for crumbs like a pigeon in a city being tossed bread. keep tossing that bread for me please please. IM CRYING. IM WAILING!!!! BUT SINCE U BROUGHT UP READING DNANGEL LET ME ACTUALLY HELP U OUT TOO??
scans are like absolutely everywhere and most places have the godawful quality fan translations. u can and frankly probably should read the official eng which is available here. dnangel had a weird run where the eng was only licensed and translated up to book 13. 14 and 15 (and beyond) are fan translations, but there's exactly one chapter that's ALWAYS broken on any website you go to except this one. this site doesn't complete the series though so the last link you'd have to hop to is this one. but the entire series is only 20 volumes in total. you could speedread through it in like a day. it's short and sweet and i love it even with its flaws. why else would i b here writing dark n dai. anyways. point is. tysm. im holding u and all ur muses tight. i wont leave u!!!! im so glad i met u!!! uve done sm for me already and i wont forget it!!! MY SO TALENTED FRIEND!!!
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randomshyperson · 3 years
Text
Palm Springs - Leigh Shaw
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All Works Masterlist
Summary: In Palm Springs, Leigh meets you. The season one finale re-imagined.
Warnings: (+18), smut, cursing, dom!reader, bottom!leigh, explicit language, explicit consent, brief mentions of harassment, fluff, brief rivalry dynamics, hopeful ending.
Words: 5.378K
Notes: My love, @abimess, this is my apologies for you. I kept mistaken "Wanda" instead of "Leigh" at some points in the writing, but it all worked out in the end. I hope you all enjoy the read, this is my first time writing for this character.
//-//
You threw the signed divorce papers against the passenger seat, ignoring the thick tears that welled up in your eyes.
Raising your hand, you turned up the radio and kept driving. Your cell phone started ringing the next moment, but you ignored it. It was probably Bucky or Steve calling to find out where you were after your little outburst at the company fundraiser.
Honestly, it wasn't your fault. You were handling it all very well, but Carol decided it would be a good idea to give you the divorce papers while you were surrounded by your closest friends, and that was the trigger. But now you were driving to Palm Springs, finally taking the damn vacation your ex-wife had put you through so much hell to get, but now, the seat next to you was empty.
It took a few hours to get there, since the complex is in New York, but you didn't care, having spent most of the way trying to understand how you managed to lose a woman like Carol Danvers.
No bags, you ignored the curious look one of the hotel staff gave you as soon as you pulled into the parking lot, smiling slightly as you took off your sunglasses and asked for directions to the front desk.
You frowned slightly as you were almost run over.
"Watch where you're going!" You shouted angrily at the driver, and the woman returned you the same angry look. Great, you've barely arrived and you almost died. This weekend was promising.
Stepping back, you waited for the woman to drive, not failing to give her a wry smile as she passed you. After this, you walked to the reception desk, and the area was quite full, which was normal for a weekend.
"Reservation in the name Danvers." You said to the receptionist after the greetings. He smiled as he checked the information.
"Valentine's suite, I see." He commented cheerfully. "Shall I prepare a second key for your partner?"
"It's just going to be me, buddy." You grumble, ignoring the uneasy feeling in your stomach. The man smiles awkwardly, but doesn't apologize.
After checking in, you go up to the third floor.
The room makes you sigh with disgust, the flowers and chocolates give you a headache. It takes ten minutes to find a chambermaid and ask her to remove all the decorations.
While your room is being cleaned, you decide to buy something to wear, since you didn't bring anything to spend the weekend at the hotel.
"Good morning." You mumble the greeting as you enter the gift store, your gaze wandering around.
"How can I help you, dear?" The saleswoman asks politely, smiling at you.
"I need something to wear for the two days I'm staying. It was a last-minute trip." You tell her, and the saleswoman looks surprised, but doesn't comment.
The woman eventually showed you the summer shirt section, and you sighed softly as you looked through the options. She walked away to attend to another customer, and you left your attention to the clothes.
A moment later, you picked out a few pieces and turned to talk to the saleswoman, only to run into the woman who had almost run you over earlier looking at the book section.
"You again." You let it slip not so low, attracting the woman's attention. She frowns for a second, and then she recognizes you. But before she can say anything, the saleswoman is speaking.
"Oh, you two know each other already?" She asks excitedly. "It's amazing how we can find friends here in Palm Springs isn't it?"
"We're not friends." You both inform at the same moment, and you squeeze your eyes shut slightly. The woman straightens her posture, pressing the book lightly against her chest as you switch the shirts on your arm. The saleswoman's curious expression prompts you to speak.
"Actually, she almost killed me." You say. "It was going to be quite a headline for this hotel. I'd be careful about the people you guys host around here."
The saleswoman looks at you with confusion, while the other woman lets out a dry laugh.
"You're the one who walked across in the middle of the street!" she defends herself. "It's not my fault if you weren't taught how to cross the street in school."
"Oh, so it's the victim's fault now?" You retort and the woman looks at you incredulously. A third customer enters the store and stares curiously at the argument, but the saleswoman is quick to gesture between you, smiling wryly.
"Oh come on, I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding" The saleswoman remarks and you sustain the annoyed look the other woman is casting at you. "There's no need for an argument."
"Of course not." The woman says forcing a smile, but her posture remains aggressive. "We are both civilized adults."
You bite your tongue to avoid another provocation, looking away from the green irises in front of you.
"Of course you are." The saleswoman says smiling, and then her gaze catches the shirts hanging from your forearm and she lets out a light exclamation. "Come on, I can finalize your purchase if that's all, dear."
You turn toward the cashier next, and it is only after you have paid for the clothes and are leaving that you see the other woman again on your way back, but she does not look away from the books to you. You couldn't care less.
//-//
In your room, you can't resist the urge to look at your phone.
Bucky has called five times. And Steve even sent you an email. You sigh weakly, feeling guilty as you catch a glimpse of Tony and Natasha's message notifications.
Your friends didn't care that you started crying in the middle of the meeting you were at because your ex-wife decided to bring a sensitive topic like the end of your five-year marriage to the table, but you were hating yourself for it.
At this point, you didn't even know what you had been crying about anymore. You and Carol had always had a difficult relationship, and since you got married, you began to wonder why you had done it in the first place.
You loved her so much when you first met her, and then everything gradually broke down. The lack of compatibility, the jealousy and possessiveness, and the lack of time. Carol was a soldier in the army, and you were a Shield special agent, and your jobs took up a lot of your schedules. But you knew that this was just another empty excuse. After all, your best friend, Natasha, was also an agent, as was her wife, and they made everything work properly.
Maybe things were meant to happen that way. That didn't mean it didn't hurt.
After taking a shower, you grumble lightly as you realize that you forgot to buy a bathing suit. And well, everything special about Palm Springs was the magnificent pools.
You figured the shorts and top you had would have to fit.
The pools were considerably more crowded than the rest of the hotel, and this was probably due to the current temperature.
You decided to buy a drink before sunbathing, realizing that most of the chairs were occupied.
The bartender was a pretty girl and smiled mischievously at you when her gaze fell on your collarbone exposed by the cut of your shirt, but you just gave her a half-hearted smile. Being newly divorced wasn't exactly the best scenario for flirting.
"What can I get you?" The woman asked as she rested her hands on the counter in front of her. You bit your lip thoughtfully, running your eyes down one of the menus left on the wood.
"Honestly, I don't know anything here." You say. "But I would like something sweet."
It takes a few minutes for her to prepare a drink for you, and you thank her as you accept.
As you sip a drink that tastes like strawberries and condensed milk, you look around the surroundings.
You frown slightly as you recognize the woman from the store, watching her sit in one of the chairs that has just been emptied in front of the bar. She doesn't notice you, but you notice her exposed legs, mentally scolding yourself for doing so.
As you take another sip of your drink, your tongue getting used to the sugary sweetness, a man approaches the stranger in front of you. From this proximity, you can hear the conversation, or rather the small harassment that he was doing.
Rolling your eyes at the stranger's clearly offensive attempt to approach the other woman, you force yourself to get up and walk over to them.
Well, Nat always said that you were a person with a natural talent for theater and you wish she were here now to see the little scene you caused.
Pretending to trip over the sunshade support, you made a sudden movement and knocked your entire drink against the man's collarbone, who let out an exclamation of anger and surprise as he stood up.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" You asked in a falsely guilty tone, forcing an expression of shock. Before he could say anything, you were already grabbing one of the towels left on the little tables beside the chairs and throwing it harder than necessary against the man's face. "Here, honey, clean yourself up."
The man blinked in surprise, and glared angrily at you for a second before muttering "whatever" and turning to leave. When he was already a safe distance away, you turned your face to look at the seated woman.
"Sorry about your book." You speak as you notice that the spilled drink has dripped a little on the pages. "But if you ask me, the ending sucks."
"Thanks, I guess." The woman mumbles not keeping her gaze on you. "I didn't need you to help me, by the way." She adds and you roll your eyes, realizing that the chair next to her got empty after your little commotion. When you sit down, she raises her gaze to you in disbelief.
"Who said I was helping you?" You retort. "I love throwing expensive drinks at strangers."
Your joke elicits a nasal chuckle from the woman, who softens her posture.
"If you want to lose money, I suggest donating rather than wasting it." She teases back and you bite back a smile, shaking your head slightly. When she opens the book again and leans her back against the chair, clearly deciding to ignore your presence, you copy the position, but stand with your arms folded across your chest and close your eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun against your skin.
You are tired from the trip, and eventually fall asleep. When you open your eyes again, the woman is no longer there.
//-//
Since you have napped until the afternoon, there is no chance you will sleep early. You try to distract yourself with television, but most of the programs are pay-per-view and you have probably already exceeded all the limits that a Shield salary can afford, so you decide to spend some time on the activities included in your weekend bundle.
After putting on a shirt to join the lobby, you take the elevator down and step out into the outdoor area, not surprised to find the place as busy as before. The difference is perhaps the lack of children because of the time of day.
You walk toward the bar and roll your eyes slightly when you notice the same man as before being loud and boisterous along with a small group partying near the place. But you ignore them as you sit down on the first stool you find.
"Well, if it isn't my knight in white armor." A female voice comments wryly beside you, surprising you mildly. You look at the woman with a raised eyebrow, but she is looking straight ahead.
"So you expect me to call you a princess? We don't even know each other." You retort in the same tone, and watch the woman bite back a smile, rolling her eyes slightly.
You stand in silence while you order a drink, this time smiling in the same way that the bartender smiles at you. While you wait, you can' t help but look over to the side.
"You know, I think I might need to get your name." You begin in a tone of false seriousness, not knowing why you want to pull conversation with the stranger, but doing it anyway. "Since I need to know who to sue for attempted hit-and-run."
The woman laughs lightly, and as she sets her drinking glass back down on the counter, she turns her body toward you, without getting up.
"The smart thing then wouldn't be to say my name, don't you think?" She retorts with amusement in her voice. "That way I avoid a lawsuit."
You smile in a corner, shaking your head slightly. You lean your arm on the counter, and it takes a moment for her to speak again.
"I'm Leigh."
"No last name so I can't find your ID, right?" You tease and she smiles, licking her lips for a moment. "Well, I won't tell you mine either then." You comment before telling her only your first name, and she laughs lightly. "May I at least know your profession? Or, I don't know, where you're from? I need that information to track you down."
You joke, and Leigh makes a thoughtful expression for a moment.
"I'm from everywhere actually." She says mysteriously. "Because I'm an international jewel thief."
You smile at the mixed tone of seriousness and playfulness in her speech, respecting her right not to want to tell you the truth, and acknowledging the identity she chooses to assume.
"Oh, really?" You ask joining in the joke. "And let me guess, your disguise happens to be as a fashion stylist, right? And you have a red motorcycle and deadly poison hidden in your lipstick?"
Leigh holds back her laughter, nodding.
"I can't confirm any of that information, actually." She says. "After all, a little incident happened and I wasn't able to finish the story."
You laugh at the teasing, taking a sip of your drink. Before the moment of silence lasts any longer, you ask if you can approach. When Leigh consents, you take the seat next to her.
"And what do you do?" she asks as soon as you sit down. You clear your throat lightly.
"I'm a secret agent, actually." You tell her and from the woman's expression, she still believes you are joking. You do not correct yourself however. "Lasers and villains, the whole story."
Leigh smiles, murmuring in understanding.
"And what is a secret agent doing in Palm Springs?" She asks next and you assume a dramatically thoughtful expression.
"I got a hint actually." You reply. "A jewel thief, fugitive from the government. I'm trying to gather information to effect her arrest."
Leigh fakes an expression of horror making you laugh.
"If I see anything suspicious, I'll give you a heads up." She jokes and you smile, enjoying the whole thing. Before you can add anything else, the small group next to the bar let out loud laughter and they attract your and Leigh's attention.
You frown slightly when you witness the guy from earlier whistling at one of the hotel staff, the people with him finding his little scene of harassment funny.
"I guess a drink in the face isn't enough for some idiots." You comment and Leigh sighs mildly. She looks at you at the same moment you look at her.
"Maybe more drinks will be enough."
That's how you end up doing a little mischief that involves distracting the stranger with comments about his muscles while Leigh approaches and manages to get the man's card. When you walk away, after she hands the bartender the hotel ID after ordering a round for everyone at the bar on the stranger's behalf, you were laughing.
"I'm beginning to believe your thief story." You amused comment as soon as you and Leigh reach the trail out of the bar area. She just smiles at your words. You clear your throat next. "I guess I need to show off my secret agent skills then."
Leigh looks at you curiously, but you just smile as you nod in the direction of the gardens.
You walk for a few minutes in silence, and you remember everything you have observed since you arrived at the hotel, and are able to find the small opening in the fence that you saw some staff members pass through in the afternoon.
"Please, milady." You joke as you make room for Leigh to cross the path first, and she rolls her eyes with amusement before doing so.
You end up in some kind of unfinished private garden, but one that is still very pretty.
Perhaps it is an area under construction for some kind of party, as it has a stage set up in the center and some folded chairs scattered about.
Your attention falls immediately to the piano that has also been set up high on the dark stage.
"How did you find this place?" Leigh asks as she looks around, and you walk past her to get on the stage, eliciting a giggle.
"Field study, of course." You reply with false seriousness. " A secret agent never goes anywhere without studying the whole place first."
Leigh murmurs in agreement, deciding to follow you to the stage. You take a seat on the piano bench while she remains standing in front of the organ.
"Do you have any requests?" You ask looking down at your fingers as she studies your face.
"Old Mac Donald had a Farm." She replies and you choke on a laugh.
"And I thought your taste in music was as good as your fashion sense." You tease causing her to raise an eyebrow.
"Is that your way of complimenting what I'm wearing?" She retorts but you just bite back a smile, moving your fingers across the keys.
You decide to play a melody that she may not recognize, but is exactly what you feel you should play.
When the first notes of " Spring - Ludovico Einaudi" echo in the room, Leigh looks at you in surprise, but you just smile.
It takes a moment for her to surround the piano, and to sit down next to you. You continue to play, enjoying the sound and concentrating not to misplay the notes.
When you make a particularly fast movement on the piano, Leigh looks at you impressed, but you just push your shoulder lightly against hers, smiling. Neither of you regains the distance from before, and you continue to play.
When you finish, you are silent for a moment.
"Where did you learn to do that?" She asks in her low, impressed tone as you both look down at your hands on the keys. You sigh slightly, moving your fingers away and placing your hands in your lap.
"I used to play when I was a kid." You reply. "Before I was a secret agent, of course."
Leigh smiles, biting her lips lightly. You look away from the movement, to her hands quickly.
"Let me show you." You whisper as you reach out your hand to hers. When she accepts, you position her fingers on the keys, and then fit your hand on top of hers. "You start like this."
The sound is far from perfect, and Leigh laughs every time she misses a note, so you don't really care.
You stay like this for a few minutes, until you can get her to complete five notes without making a mistake.
"See? You' re almost a pianist already." You comment with a smile, looking at her face. She mimics your movement, and you feel your heart skip a beat from the closeness.
You feel the tension build in the room, but before you can think of doing anything, a male voice is breaking the spell.
"Sorry, but this area is for employees only." Informs the young man from the hotel, seeming slightly embarrassed to interrupt. You and Leigh quickly walk away, standing up and muttering an apology in unison to the guy, who waits until you leave by the trail he guides.
When you reach the entrance to the social area again, the employee closes the gate, waving slightly. You and Leigh exchange amused smiles.
"So... what do you want to do now?" You ask the next moment, wanting to prolong the evening.
"I want to swim." She declares and you frown slightly, then shrug. You nod in the direction of the pools and you exchange a glance before starting to walk.
//-//
At the edge of the pool, you sigh slightly.
You exchange a look with Leigh, standing next to you, and then you laugh softly as you both begin to undress.
You can't resist the urge to look at her, especially since she jumps in first and you catch a glimpse of her body covered only by a bikini. Ignoring your uncompensated heartbeat, you jump into the water next.
It's a good thing the water was cold, because you are feeling your face and body heat up at the way Leigh looks at you.
Trying to lighten the mood, you swim around her, casually meeting her gaze again as she mimics the movement.
You laugh lightly when you realize that you are swimming in circles around each other, and decide to stop. Leigh swims in front of you a moment later.
"Hello, superspy." She greets you almost in a whisper waving her arms to continue on the surface in front of you.
"Hello, international thief." You speak back in the same tone, your gazes locked on each other.
You wonder if she would like you to break the distance, as her gaze has lowered to your lips for a few seconds. But before you can surrender to this urge, she takes a step back.
"I'm cold."
And then she swims away, and you wonder if you have taken the whole thing the wrong way.
Following her a little way back, you look for towels.
//-//
"Which floor are you on?" You ask as you reach the elevators, each with a towel around your body. You watch Leigh tighten her arms against herself slightly.
"Second." She replies half-heartedly, and you nod.
"Let's go together then."
She gets into the elevator first, and after she presses the button, you stand next to her, your back against the wall.
The tension is back the moment the doors close, but after the pool, you find it best not to take any action, not wishing to make Leigh uncomfortable.
You reach her floor a moment later, and when she doesn't leave, you hold your breath.
You risk a corner-of-your-eye glance at her, but she continues to stare straight ahead, sighing slightly.
Trying not to look like a complete mess, you wait for your floor to arrive.
//-//
The way down the hallway is silent, and despite your nervousness, you don't fumble to open your room.
Leigh enters first, and strides into the room as you close the door.
She stops in the center, her gaze scanning around for a moment before returning to you. You hold your breath, and then she lets the set of clothes in her hands fall to the floor.
You bite back a smile, mimicking the movement. Taking a deep breath, you do the same with your towel, and ignore the heat in your cheeks as Leigh's gaze descends to your body covered only by your underwear.
She removes the towel at your waist next, and you stare at her exposed legs for a moment before moving slowly toward her.
You smile shyly as you stop in front of her, and it takes a second for you to slowly lift your fingers to touch her, tracing the outline of her arm and watching her skin shiver.
"Everything okay?" You ask softly raising your gaze from where your fingers were touching to her eyes. Leigh sighs, shaking her head in agreement. You give her a short smile, placing your hand on her cheek, and watching her lean into the touch slightly. "Use your words." You ask in a whisper, your other hand repeating the motion of your fingers from before, even more slowly.
"Y-yes." She confirms half breathlessly. "And you?"
"Yes." You say, your hand reaching for the strap of her bikini. "I'm going to kiss you now, Leigh."
She nods in understanding, sighing heavily. You didn't correctly calculate how attracted you were to her, because the moment your lips touched, you felt your head spin and it was hard not to push her against the bed immediately.
You both sigh against the kiss, and you slide your tongue into her mouth next, your hand on her face running down to her neck, deepening the kiss even more.
Leigh seems hesitant to touch you for the first second, but then she gasps against your tongue, and brings her hands to your shoulders, bringing one of them up to the back of your neck and scratching the skin, making you sigh.
With the hand that was on the bikini strap, you use your fingers to pull the strap down, and with the other hand you repeat the movement on the other side. When the bikini falls to the floor, your hands go down to her waist, and you pull her toward you.
Leigh gasps at the contact of your breasts bumping together, breaking the kiss with a wet sigh, and you take the opportunity to move your mouth down her collarbone, enjoying the sounds you manage to get out of her whenever you bite her sensitive skin softly.
You lean against her to lower your kisses to her breasts, and when your mouth finds the hardened nipple, she arches her back, closing her eyes as her fingers force your head forward against her breast.
"Oh." She moans as she feels you suck on her nipple, your other hand moving up to give her other breast due attention, your fingers playing with the tip. " Oh, fuck, that feels good."
You smile against her skin, feeling your core tighten with the sounds you are tearing out of her.
When your hand on her waist moves down to her ass, squeezing the flesh and pressing Leigh's hips against yours as your mouth continues on her breast, she moans loudly as she throws her head back, shuddering against you.
It's enough to make you lose control. You need to know how she tastes.
Gasping, you move your kisses down again, and Leigh holds her breath as you get down on your knees.
You kiss her thighs first, while your hands pull down the fabric of her panties.
When the fabric falls away completely, you swallow dry, your gaze glazed on the exposed intimacy of the woman in front of you, your mouth salivating to taste her.
"I-I'm gonna fall." She comments shyly, and you notice how her knees are already shaky. You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to stand up.
You take Leigh by the hand to your bed, and she stands there, making you smile. You move forward against her mouth again, and she sighs, almost losing her balance from the intensity.
"Lie down." You ask between one kiss and another, making her moan softly. "Spread your legs for me."
Leigh gasps against your lips as you slip your fingers through her folds for a moment, before pulling away until she obeys. You bite your lips as you watch her lie down.
Before you join her, you remove the rest of your clothes. Leigh's cheeks redden, but you give her no time to register this, climbing onto the bed with your knee between her legs and kissing her again.
As she begins to squirm beneath you for more friction, you move your kisses down her body.
She closes her eyes when your mouth is at the level of her belly, breathing hard.
When your tongue touches her pussy, you both moan loudly. You are amazed at how wet and hot she feels, the taste filling all your senses. And Leigh bites her lips to stop herself from moaning out in pleasure when your tongue begins to move against her clit, sucking and licking her devotedly and making her whimper.
"F-fuck." She moans breathlessly, her hips thrusting into your mouth. "Yeah...right there... don't stop..."
You lift your hands to her thighs, holding her open. Your own intimacy pulsing from the way Leigh is surrendered to you and the sounds she gives you.
Keeping the strokes of your tongue as deep as you can and being sure to press your clitoris in return, you feel her pussy tighten and Leigh's body begins to quiver in spasms.
"I-I'm... close... fuck..." she begins to whimper disconnected words, long moans escaping her throat. It takes only two more strokes for her to come on your tongue, her moan loud enough to be heard in the next room, but neither of you care.
You drink all of her cum, enjoying the taste and feeling on edge, without even having been touched yet.
Moving up your kisses again, you deposit slow kisses against Leigh's skin, waiting for her to recover from her own orgasm.
When you reach her mouth, she kisses you back with the same intensity.
You just know you're not going to sleep early tonight.
//-//
When you wake up, your bed is empty. You are surprised by this, really.
The night was very good. Much better than any one-night stand you have ever had.
After getting dressed by finding your articles of clothing, you walk to the front desk.
It takes a few minutes to find Leigh, and you frown when you realize from the bag in her hands, the documents, and the car key that she is leaving.
"Wow, you weren't even going to leave a note." You tease as you catch up with her. She is startled by your sudden presence, but forces a smile.
"Look, I'm sorry..." she starts but you shake your head.
"No need." You interrupt by putting your hands in your pockets and shrugging. "It was just one night after all."
"Yes." She reaffirms what you say, staring at you. You hold her gaze, and a long minute later she sighs. "No, it wasn't."
You swallow dryly, watching her. She seems conflicted about something, her expression going from worried to guilty in a few seconds, and then she takes a deep breath and shakes her head before looking at you again.
"I can't." She says, and you sigh lightly. "I just... can't."
"It's okay." You decide to say, ignoring the way your stomach is flipping with nervousness or your heart is racing. "We are civilized adults, aren't we?"
Leigh smiles, and you watch her eyes water for a moment before she quickly hides her emotion. You feel the same way.
" This is a goodbye." Leigh says next, and you look away to the floor, nodding in understanding.
"Goodbye, Leigh. It was nice meeting you." You say as you look at her again, forcing a smile even though your eyes are watering.
She smiles, approaching to kiss your cheek close enough to your lips to make you shiver. She doesn't pull away immediately, raising her mouth to the height of your ear, she whispers "I left a note." and before you can understand what has been said to you, she is gone.
It is only at the end of the day, many hours after she has left, and you are already inside your car that you rummage in your pants pocket looking for the car key that you find the note.
It is a piece torn from the page of the book "Unmoored in milan", the paper stained with drink. In the corner, in cursive letters it is written. "to my favorite secret agent. Leigh Shaw, Los Angeles."
You smiled at the words, and as you were driving back to New York, you wondered how long it would take Natasha to find out Leigh's phone number.
//-//
Tag list> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia
@mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @HELLOALYCIA // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm
// @sxfwap // @table57
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genshin-impacted · 3 years
Text
deserved // Zhongli x Reader (NSFW)
Word Count: ~2k
Notes: female reader, Zhongli/Reader, established relationship, just two people who love each other exploring what the other enjoys, NSFW (see below)
nsfw mentions: spanking/humiliation, brat!reader, dom!zhongli, dom/sub dynamics, implied afab, penetration, kink exploration!!
Summary: "There are certainly many things I am not knowledgeable on, and this is one of them." Zhongli says (modestly, in your opinion), "But human pleasure and pain have... always been complexly intertwined, and if this is something that will provide you that joy, then I would like to try-- for you."
So you want him to wield a harder hand-- he can do that.
.
.
.
"You would like me to... hit you?" Zhongli asks hesitantly, his furrowed brows and hesitance a clear sign of his confusion.
"Well, yes, but in a very specific way," you explain very clinically. He has always liked that about you, being able to keep a level head and being upfront about topics of importance or about things that would have normally been embarrassing for other people. It makes your points clear, which is ever so helpful with the many human things he has yet to comprehend. "Spanking over the knee as punishment, more specifically."
"Punishment?" Zhongli echoes. He is familiar with the term but he would have never associated its need when it comes to you. "Why would I punish you?"
At this, you give him a playfully withering look. "Zhongli, you can't possibly say I don't mess up sometimes and show up late or forget to do something." You tease, "There's plenty to punish me for."
"But... I do not wish to punish you for those," Zhongli protests, and you feel yourself soften when he holds onto your hand, insistent. "Bound to contracts as I am, I would never cause harm upon you, regardless of mistakes such as those."
"I know," you say softly. "Sorry, I guess that wasn't very clear. But I meant... you would 'punish' me for... 'misbehaving.'" At his increasingly concerned look, you laugh. "I think it makes sense if you view it in a more sexual way, babe." (Zhongli feels himself flush at the way one of the pet names you have given to him rolls off your tongue so naturally.)
"You're not really mad at me," you continue, "but you can act like you are mildly displeased in order to punish me for something I did- or I guess, in this case, for what I didn't do. Like, listen to you, or something."
"I see." Zhongli pauses thoughtfully. "And this would be enjoyable to you? I will not be causing you harm by doing this?"
"Well, if it did, I agreed to try it, and I could always let you know to stop," you say, reminding him. "Our safe word and all." You crack a smile. "And I think the physical harm is part of the pleasure. As well as the emotional. But since I know you aren't really hitting me because you, I don't know, hate me or something, it should be fine."
"I don't hate you," Zhongli replies immediately. "I love you."
You feel your heart clench at the easy admission of his feelings for you and squeeze his hands. "I know. I love you too." You clear your throat. "Which is exactly why I trust you to do this with me and be able to enjoy it."
"We can always try again if it doesn't work out," you say. "But are you okay with doing this?"
"There are certainly many things I am not knowledgeable on, and this is one of them." Zhongli says (modestly, in your opinion), "But human pleasure and pain have... always been complexly intertwined, and if this is something that will provide you that joy, then I would like to try-- for you." You beam at his response and Zhongli feels comforted by the fact that you have always been patient and have proven to be so even now.
"We'll work it out," you tell him. "But you have verbal consent to do it whenever you think is appropriate... though I think I can probably act in a way that'll make it easy for you."
Zhongli blinks. "What do you mean, my dear?"
Your eyes twinkle.
.
.
.
You are a playful person at heart, and Zhongli thinks that has been one of the (many) reasons why he is in love with you the way he is. You bring levity into his life, a sense of appreciation for the world around you that is simple in its beauty, finding joy wherever it can be found. He is not surprised to find himself faced with a very similar attitude in the bedroom where you tease and coax, making him feel the need to hold you down and claim you as his (much to your delight).
("You are a minx," he mutters into the crook of your neck that he had, not a moment ago, ravaged with lovebites. You only laugh, hugging his head and pulling him closer, the marks on your body the spoils of victory.)
Zhongli understands now what you meant how it would be a natural progression to introduce your latest kink when you decide to rock yourself onto him with a mischievous gleam in your eyes. Pay attention to me, your hands say, trailing over his shoulders seductively. Notice me.
The book in his hand will always pale in comparison when it comes to you; you need not have tried to demand his attention at all when you could simply ask for it. But as a result, he had requested a few minutes to read, to which you would have normally acquiesced to quite easily. But today, he finds that you are impatient, almost impudent in the way you demand his attention.
A brat.
His heart beats steadily faster than usual (but it always is when it comes to you) when he says your name firmly, a hard tone in his voice that has not been there before. You notice immediately. Zhongli almost wants to look at your reaction if the way you freeze is any indication of how his tone affected you.
So you want him to wield a harder hand-- he can do that.
"Will you not listen to me?" He asks, hand curling around the small of your back. His hands have always been much bigger than yours, but at the moment it seems ever more expansive with the way he commands the room. "Do you need my attention that badly?"
Your retort is quick and sharp in a futile attempt to gain the upper hand, despite the way your cheeks redden. "No," you say immediately, eyes trailing down his unbuttoned shirt collar. "I was... just bored is all."
You gasp when he grabs hold of your wandering hands, his eyes flashing dangerously when he speaks. "How unfortunate. For you to disturb my peace and to lie to me..." Zhongli says calmly, "I believe we need a reminder for you on how to behave properly."
"Get on my lap, since you want to be on it so much, and I'll make sure you remember clearly." You open your mouth to protest and he shoots you a sharp look. "I will not say it a second time."
You glare at him, but that is all you do in protest. Quietly, you swing your leg off of him and delicately place yourself onto his lap, your head hanging down from one end and your legs on the other. Zhongli watches, mesmerized, as you 'reluctantly' submit to his words and display yourself for him with pressed lips, a heated face, and a subtly hidden look of anticipation.
Zhongli takes your consent in mind and does not ask before he sweeps your skirt up to your hip, making you jerk in surprise. He temporarily admires the round of your ass, the fullness of your cheeks, and thinks for the first time that he may enjoy watching how it bounces from the impact of his hand. His rubbing on the curve of your right buttock is the only warning you get before he raises his hand and spanks your ass.
The involuntary sound you make from impact is obscene.
Judging from the way you clamp your mouth with both hands, Zhongli thinks you hadn't anticipated doing such a thing either, and if anything, that makes it all the more attractive for him to have heard it. He looks back at your ass and decides you can take another hit if not a few more. (For both yours and his sake, it is a good thing indeed.)
Zhongli hits the same spot for good measure, and you gasp, back curling slightly as a response. He smacks your other side soundly, earning him another sound; grabbing your ass into his hands before spanking it again consecutively makes you cry out again in a way that makes it evident that it's from pleasure rather than pain.
It goes straight into his cock, and Zhongli has to resist the thought of it hardening for now.
You are covering your mouth from embarrassment, however, and that won't do.
"Put your hands by your sides," Zhongli commands, making you freeze. "This is your punishment; I intend to hear every sound that comes from your mouth."
You place your hands to the side, your fingers digging into his leg to resist the urge to move it back. "Z-Zhongli," you stammer out, wiggling your lower half.
Zhongli takes a gander and slips his hand into your panties and comes out with his fingers wet.
"You're dripping," Zhongli says bluntly. He glances at you as you reflexively hide your face in embarrassment, only to quickly place it down in memory of his command. "How long have you been aroused, dearest? How long did you go wanting me until it was too much to bear?"
You whimper in response, your ass wriggling in his firm hold. "Hold still," he tells you, and when you plant your feet firmly onto the ground stubbornly, he slaps your ass again. A few times, for good measure-- a symphony of gasps falling from your lips, and you stop moving immediately.
The power over you, and the enjoyment you take from being controlled, is intoxicating.
"Good girl," he says instead, trailing a hand down your thigh in praise. Your hand grip into his leg in response, ass rising ever so slightly as though to urge him to continue-- though it has long stopped being a 'punishment' for you anyways.
Zhongli takes care to spank mainly on the convex of your ass, lovingly swatting below and upon your thigh to shock a lovely gasp from your lips. He watches as you rub your legs together in an attempt to abate the sting of the spank and relieve the tension below. When you become muted, he takes a peek at your expression and feels his breath leave him at how your lips are slightly parted, panting, and your eyes glazed over with pleasure.
Utterly submissive, he thinks, watching as you choke out another sound in between a gasp and whine. You may be enjoying yourself thoroughly, but he thinks he enjoys this kink of yours (and his, too now) if you end up looking irresistible like this, in a different way from the way you can dominate him, fucked out and completely pliant for him.
"Did you learn your lesson at all, I wonder," he says, gently tracing his fingers on your tender cheeks. When you nod your head furiously at his question, sniffling, he smiles, rubbing soothing circles onto your back. "You were very good for me, darling, taking all that for me.” He allows you to maneuver yourself until you are delicately straddling him again. He kisses at the plump of your cheeks, holding out his hand so you may sit comfortably on him without rubbing yourself raw with your already sensitive skin. In response, you melt into him, burying your face into the crook of his neck as you wrap your arms around him, and his heart feels full to bursting with affection for you and the vulnerability you have allowed him to see.
"I'll take care of you, my love," he says. "I have a soothing balm that will surely be of great use; I'll pull up a bath for you and make you comfortable."
Zhongli is surprised when you pull yourself away from him to see your pout, adorably petulant, your hand roaming down to where his cock has been hard for the past session.
"My darling is greedy today, aren't you?" He teases and chuckles when you make a disgruntled noise even as you unbutton his shirt and unzip his pants. "No? You aren't greedy?" He helps you pull his pants down as he lifts himself up, grinding himself onto you. "You can be if you so wish," he says, as you look at him pleadingly.
He could have demanded you to speak to him and tell you what you wanted, but he decides against it. He aids you when you line yourself up for him and carries you down gently when you sink yourself onto him. The look on your face is pure bliss, and you have never looked more like a temptation.
Zhongli bites onto your exposed collarbone and lets you ride out your high for as long as you desire. It is, after all, what you deserve.
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ilikekidsshows · 3 years
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Hi! I loved the Adrinette analysis you made...do you think you could make a similar one for Ladybug and Chat Noir over seasons 1 to 3?
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I knew I was leaving myself open for this ask, and I kinda dreaded it, because 80% of Ladynoir screen time is dedicated to defeating an Akuma, meaning the characters have something else to focus on rather than progressing their relationship, and most the relationship stuff is just Marinette being really stubborn and refusing to properly look at her partner. In other words, there's significantly more screen time, but also proportionally less stuff going on in Ladynoir than in Adrinette because the characters are superheroes on the job and one party is actively resisting any development happening. It's also a very different kind of arc and relationship to Adrinette where the goal is just the two of them getting closer and more comfortable with each other. Ladynoir has that as well as all the trust issues and superhero team dynamics. Basically, this post is definitive proof that Miraculous has had plot development before season four, and it has had a lot of it. I got almost dizzy with it while compiling this.
Once again, I’m trying to go in a somewhat chronological order to properly track the relationship.
In 'Origins', we only get one-sided Ladynoir stuff. Marinette is new on the job and completely focused on solving the Akuma problem and nothing else. Meanwhile, Adrien actually takes note of his partner. He sees her flounder but ultimately put together a clever plan. He sees her lose faith but ultimately pick herself up and deliver a really badass speech at Hawk Moth. It's really no wonder he fell in love. The number one thing he learned about Ladybug is that she can fail and the second thing was that she could pick herself up again and grab the win anyway. I've brought up earlier in the Top Adrinette Scene discussion that Adrien is very scared of failing, because his father does not forgive failure, so Ladybug being someone who can turn a failure into a win understandably makes his heart go pitter-patter.
Meanwhile, Marinette barely noticed her partner. As I said, she was fully focused on solving the problem, but she was also getting distracted by her own insecurities. Marinette's first experience with Cat Noir was that he was kinda smooth and seemed to be much more confident than Marinette. Her second experience was that he tended to leap before he looked, but was perfectly willing to listen to her say-so. We have a very brief attempt at flirtation from Cat Noir, that Ladybug barely seems to even notice.
In 'Bubbler', Cat Noir actually gets to flirt with his Lady. He's clearly intent on getting her to notice what he's getting at, but Ladybug seems mostly exasperated with him. At this point their partnership is new and Marinette is most likely thinking back to their first case, when Cat Noir was so patient and supportive and not this...much. She still doesn't tell him to quit it, though, meaning she’s trying to accept him being a lot.
'Stormy Weather' has Cat Noir continuing in his attempts to get Ladybug to notice him and this time she responds playfully when they're not right in the middle of a tense situation. She's getting used to this being Cat's way of interacting with her and keeping the mood light.
'Lady Wifi' has the pair discussing the secrecy between them, with Adrien actively making the decision that honoring Ladybug's wishes concerning keeping their secret identities is more important than knowing the identity of the girl he's in love with, that doing so is the proper way to love her. 'Lady Wifi' is also the first time Marinette panics at the idea of something romantic being suggested about her and Cat Noir, when Alya says Adrien might be Cat Noir, that Cat Noir might be the boy she's repeatedly told Alya she's in love with.
'Copycat' shows us for a fact that Ladybug has no idea that Cat Noir's flirtations with her are genuine, and Cat Noir is growing tired of his feelings going entirely unnoticed.
Because of his growing frustration over not being able to communicate his feelings to Ladybug in a manner that she'd take seriously, Adrien goes the extra mile to write her a love poem in 'Dark Cupid'. When he receives a response that appeared with no sender, just a ladybug, he entertains the thought that Ladybug answered his poem and does in fact return his feelings (not realizing that Ladybug would need to know his identity to deliver such a note to him specifically, but Adrien does generally worry less about secret identities than Marinette). 'Dark Cupid' is also the first occasion of Marinette's by-now patented plan "Pretend to be in Love with Cat Noir" to solve problems, except that she was absolutely certain that a True Love's Kiss could occur between them, so there isn't even much room for pretending, but Marinette's denial is so powerful, she'll try.
In 'The Mime' we see Cat Noir actually testing Ladybug's receptiveness to a date, by suggesting that they could have gone to the play together if they didn't have to detransform. Ladybug replies that she has other plans before zipping away, and Cat Noir merely smiles after her. His feelings are growing, and he might still be remembering the love note he got. In fact, this is probably why he says "We are meant to be," in 'Gamer'.
In 'Animan' Ladybug actually does some of her own flirting with Cat Noir by giving him chin scritches. We also see a very straightforward gesture of affection from Cat Noir to Ladybug, when he hugs her in relief after the battle. Ladybug smiles softly at him, seeing that her partner cares about her well-being, while Cat Noir jumps back, embarrassed over his own reaction, or perhaps even afraid of censure. Adrien isn't the type of person to suddenly grab people in a hug, most likely because such "overly emotional" displays are discouraged in the Agreste household. This is the first occasion of Adrien projecting his father's supposed reaction to a thing he does on Ladybug, so he runs away from her.
In 'Simon Says', Cat Noir clings to Ladybug when faced with Gabriel looking at him weirdly (he's trying to figure out if he's Adrien, but Adrien himself never realizes his father was suspicious of his identity). At this point, Ladybug has started to become something of a security symbol to Adrien specifically against his father.
'Reflekta' is the episode where Cat Noir reminds Ladybug that he doesn't just deliver quips and he is actually a hero in his own right, even with diminished capabilities, in response to Marinette almost leaving him behind because he couldn't use his Cat Noir powers, because he'd "just slow (her) down", and then it turns out she couldn't have won without him. However, with the scene of Cat Noir taking the hit, Ladybug also starts on the process of realizing exactly how important her partner is to her success. Noticeably, it's while they're plotting together that Ladybug responds to his flirtation by flirting back, even if not very well (protip, Marinette, demeaning someone isn't funny to anyone but the person doing the demeaning, the other person is not suddenly lacking a sense of humor). Cat Noir is also a bit softer with his overtures in this episode, his cheeky flirtation gaining a bit more intimacy.
In 'Antibug', we can see the lessons Ladybug learned in 'Reflekta' sticking, with Ladybug listening to and valuing Cat Noir's input, unlike how the last time he tried to give her advice in a Chloé situation in 'Evillustrator', when she acknowledged he was right but couldn't bring herself to follow his advice. She also flirts with Cat Noir of her own volition, when she rings his bell. Cat Noir also keeps showing genuine warmth towards Ladybug instead of being just cheeky, when Ladybug compliments him. They affirm their bond after taking down Antibug.
The events of 'Reflekta' and 'Antibug' together influence what happens in 'Volpina', where Marinette is very suspicious of a new superhero showing up, without ever suspecting she could have been an Akuma in disguise. Cat Noir is her partner, and Cat Noir is her only partner. She’s not only learned his value, but has grown possessive over him. There's no need for any outsider. This jealousy over Cat Noir is actually something Marinette doesn't get over during the first three seasons the way she learns to deal with her jealousy over Adrien.
By the time 'The Collector' happens, Adrien has developed enough trust in his partner to ultimately believe her over her suspicions about Gabriel being Hawk Moth. This episode also has the first time Marinette voices concern over Cat Noir's emotional well-being instead of merely physical, who, of course, can't tell her what's wrong because it would break the secret identity clause.
'Prime Queen' has some very nice mutual Ladynoir flirting at the start of the interview. However, they're both mortified when Nadja comes out with the pictures. Cat Noir is confused, because he had no idea that their relationship could even give that impression, he must have been feeling like he hasn't been making much progress in getting closer to Ladybug. Meanwhile, Marinette goes defensive for the first time since 'Lady Wifi' only, this time, even more so. She even runs out on Cat Noir when he, very understandably, wants an explanation why he head to learn from a reporter that she'd planted one on him instead of from her. The episode confirms that Marinette will refuse to, in any way, discuss anything romance-related in relation to Cat Noir, even when there's an innocent explanation, like breaking an Akuma's spell. She's so defensive it's suspicious.
We also have another occasion of Marinette "pretending" to be in love with Cat Noir to solve a problem. While Cat Noir purrs either over the confession, having her close, or both. Marinette also jumped at the chance to "pretend" to confess her love so eagerly, that it left Prime Queen unimpressed. Still, Marinette refused to commit to the "ruse" enough to kiss Cat Noir while he's actually conscious and aware of it, because then she'd have to deal with the aftermath of kissing him.
'Dark Owl' has the first true test of faith between Ladybug and Cat Noir, when both of them have to trust the other not to look while they have to recharge. Although, considering 'The Collector', this is actually the first test only for Ladybug. At the end of the episode, Adrien also genuinely asks Ladybug out on a date for the very first time when they unexpectedly have free time from Owl-sitting, but Marinette preferred to skip off to spend time with Alya since she hadn’t gotten to see her while being so busy with The Owl's antics for so long.
'Glaciator' has Cat Noir planning an actual outing for Ladybug. The thing is, before 'Glaciator', Marinette's response to Cat Noir asking her out has always been that she has other plans, no can do. However, in 'Glaciator', she specifically says: "We'll see," and then she ends up ghosting him because she forgot to even send him a message that she didn't feel like going anywhere. At the same time, Gabriel purposefully stands him up for dinner, causing Adrien to project onto the Ladybug situation so hard that he doesn't think Ladybug even sees him as a real friend. Considering Adrien was under the same impression about Marinette in 'Puppeteer 2', it is typical for Marinette to send these kinds of mixed signals (which is fitting, considering how clear communication seems to be the biggest bullet point in her character development agenda).
On the upside, Cat Noir's compromised emotional state led to him being more frank about his feelings to first Marinette and later to Ladybug, finally making Marinette understand that Cat Noir is actually in love with her and how sensitive her partner can really be and that she can hurt his feelings. Notably, in this episode, Marinette particularly enjoys employing her "Pretend to be in love with Cat Noir" gambit, this time even going as far as kissing him, after finding out he's actually in love with her. Indeed, at the end of the episode, her rejection to Cat Noir is entirely focused on her having feelings for someone else (as well). She never once said she doesn't love him, and, in fact, never claims so in the English dub.
In 'Sapotis' we also see a brief glimpse of Marinette's jealousy over Cat Noir when he welcomes Alya onto the team so warmly but, because Rena Rouge was a teammate Marinette herself chose and trusts, she doesn't feel threatened enough to express it more than by merely keeping an eye on their interaction. 'Sapotis' also starts the arc of Cat Noir starting to lose faith in Ladybug having his best interest in mind when Rena Rouge appears out of nowhere and he's expected to just accept that no-questions-asked.
'Gorizilla' notably has Marinette repeatedly voicing her belief that Cat Noir will show up, something Adrien appreciates a great deal, going as far as blushing over something so simple. He's astounded by the fact that his Lady has faith in him, but it seems he still believes it despite the notion being strange to him.
'Frightningale' really drives home the arc going on in this season. 'Riposte' was the first time we saw Ladybug and Cat Noir seamlessly working together to neutralize an Akuma, but in this episode, they move in perfect synch while fighting Frightningale while handcuffed together. Cat Noir and Ladybug's teamwork has reached phenomenal levels.
I've repeatedly said that 'Syren' is less about Cat Noir and Ladybug's relationship and more about Fu's relationships with his two chosen. Still, this is the episode where Marinette gets put on the spot and comes through for her partner and Cat Noir learns that Ladybug keeping secrets from him wasn't of her own volition, but because of Fu, restoring his faith in her completely.
It's most likely because of the trust Ladybug showed towards him in 'Gorizilla' and their perfectly synchronized teamwork in 'Frightningale' that Cat Noir tries to confess to Ladybug again in 'Frozer'. These two episodes could give Cat Noir hope that he might be winning Ladybug over, especially since, as I said before, Ladybug has not said she doesn't have feelings for him. But she, of course, rejects him, although it's notably with more wistfulness than the last time, especially when she comments how she doesn't think it's possible for the "other boy" to not be a concern. 'Frozer' takes place during the arc in season two that covers Marinette's growing frustration at her inability to progress with Adrien the way she wants to and the discontent shows in her interaction with Cat Noir as well.
The change in how Marinette regards Cat Noir's input in fights between season one and two is especially noticeable in 'Style Queen' and 'Maledictator'. Both times Cat Noir is absent in a fight and this influences how Marinette approaches fighting the Akumas. In 'Style Queen' Marinette tries to play it sneaky but also needs to be saved by Plagg's intervention in his holder's absence. In 'Maledictator', Marinette's plan involved siccing the brainwashed Cat Noir on the Akuma's goons. Cat Noir has become necessary to Marinette, which is why he's able to galvanize her during 'Heroes' Day' by reminding her that the two of them against the world is what's always worked.
Season three as a whole revolves around Adrien losing faith that Ladybug could ever return his feelings the way he wishes and Marinette getting several warning signs about how she could lose Cat Noir. I might even go as far as saying that this season has negative Ladynoir development (in that their relationship grows more frayed and brittle instead of stronger).
A big reason for this new development direction is 'Reflekdoll', which, according to the production codes, happens early in the season. In this episode, Ladybug and Cat Noir learn the worst possible (false) lessons about themselves and each other and they carry those lessons for the rest of the season. In my 'Reflekdoll' conflict analysis, I wrote that Ladybug basically "learns" that Cat Noir is fae-like in that he isn't bothered by mortal things like stress or heartbreak. Cat Noir, meanwhile, "learns" that, while it doesn't matter if Ladybug makes a mistake because she can always fix it, him making a mistake makes him fundamentally less worthy as a hero and a person, so he could never be as valuable as Ladybug even as a person and not only strategically.
'Weredad', meanwhile, is the quintessential evidence episode for Marinette being both possessive and in denial about Cat Noir. She's literally pretending to be in love with him to him, while totally denying to herself that she feels anything for him, all the while she's feeling jealous over him seemingly moving on from her to be in love with her. The reason it's so important that no one but Marinette herself and Tikki know what went down in this episode is that Marinette's denial would never last if someone actually questioned this whole mess.
This is also an episode where we can clearly see the aftermath of what 'Reflekdoll' did to Cat Noir. He's once again projecting his situation with his father onto someone else (this time Tom), but he's also blatantly refusing to fight Tom at full strength, because he feels that it's his fault he got Akumatized, allowing himself to get hurt severely because he feels he's not that important, that he might even deserve it.
'Oblivio' has Ladybug once again do the whole: "How dare you say I'm in love with Cat Noir I am quitting this conversation right now!" routine. Cat Noir also got actual confirmation that something about him made his Lady want to kiss him when their memories had been wiped.
'Desperada' has the semi-infamous scene of Ladybug saying she doesn't need Cat Noir and, while she learns the valuable lesson that yes she flipping does, this is also the episode where Adrien repeatedly fails to use the Snake Miraculous correctly, having to give it up to someone else, feeling like an undeserving failure *turns to look at 'Weredad' and then at ‘Reflekdoll*.
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'Kwamibuster' is an episode where everyone keeps telling Ladybug not to trust Cat Noir and she believes it to the degree that she sees him as a bigger threat than a Kwami-targeting Akuma. In other words, Cat Noir being treated like a part-time hero again in season four is because of 'Kwamibuster'.
'Gamer 2.0' is actually an important episode for the Ladynoir dynamic. This is the episode where Marinette takes on way too much responsibility (voluntarily) and is really stressed about it, while Cat Noir dismantles that stress with his good humor and positive outlook. This episode enforces the lesson that was stated outright in 'Reflekdoll': "Everyone has their role", and Cat Noir's role is to be the jokester who makes Ladybug feel better. Also, Cat Noir doesn’t even hesitate to make a sacrifice play for his Lady, because he’s less important.
'Timetagger' foreshadows that Marinette's words of affirmation are losing their effect. She repeatedly says things like "I trust Cat Noir", "You're irreplaceable", "You know you're the best", but she doesn't know how to express her regard to Cat Noir in actions. And it's important to note that Adrien was raised among liars and manipulators. Even if he doesn't doubt Ladybug's intentions, he might doubt the depth and truth of her feelings for him. Because Ladybug is so nice, she might lie about valuing him to make him feel better. Words aren't enough when words are the only thing between you and your insecurities. This is also an episode that feeds into Cat Noir's worthlessness arc, with Bunnyx repeatedly insisting that Ladybug in the future is just awesome, while Cat Noir broke her Miraculous. Even Ladybug shoots him down at the end of the episode when he tries to ask for extra affirmation, claiming he "already knows he's great".
In 'Puppeteer 2', Cat Noir's hope from 'Oblivio' that Ladybug might be starting to be won over by him comes back to bite him when the wax Ladybug gets close to him by pretending to be coming onto him. He only realized she was a fake because she smelled wrong, something that comes back to haunt him in 'Ladybug', when he's faced with a perfect copy, whose only difference to the original is that she's apparently in love with him. The villains clearly know he’s so in love with Ladybug it sometimes blinds him.
With the villains using this clear weakness as an in, it's no wonder that Cat Noir finally makes the decision to move on from Ladybug in 'Heart Hunter'. He tries one more time to test her interest to see if she'd be jealous of him dating and, when she's merely overjoyed, he decides to finally move on to Kagami. However, when faced with the actual reality of Cat Noir giving his attention to someone else instead of her (instead of in addition to her), Ladybug actually finds herself hurt and questions the lack of "My Lady" in Cat Noir addressing her, but she instantly denies it when Cat Noir notices. Denial denial denial...
Aaaaaand that's a wrap! Putting this together made me realize just how interconnected the show really is but no one notices because there aren’t any secret identities being revealed, people getting together or lore being revealed. Even something that seems like a breather episode like 'Gamer 2.0' has a larger role in the arc of developing the relationship between our main heroes.
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captnjacksparrow · 3 years
Text
SNS Dynamics - Sasuke's Perspective
Lengthy post ahead
On completing my rewatch of Naruto part I and part II, many things which never made sense started to make sense. One among them is the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. I used to ask why Naruto is going so far for Sasuke. And why Sasuke is helping out Naruto even though he wants to kill him. And I used to think that Episode 478 was retconned to make the final battle ends in a draw and Sasuke somehow made to reconcile with the titular character. Yet, I instinctively felt, ‘Something is very different about them’. But on careful rewatch, all the clues which consolidate their relationship was there. The way they love each other is totally on a different level and the creator very carefully planned this from the beginning of the Manga.
Though I really don’t like the ending for making every characters into a child rearing machine at an age of 20 to make way for an abomination called ‘Boruto’, I still loved everything till Episode 479.
I wanted to discuss about both Naruto and Sasuke's perspective. But that cannot be accommodated in a single post. So, I decided to start with Sasuke. Since Naruto's side of SNS is very open and vocal, we clearly knew what is going on in his mind. But Sasuke's side is usually very subtle but much more intense than Naruto which makes it worth analyzing.
Before getting to that, for most of the characters in the Naruto universe (I mean 99%), Sasuke is a person who looks cool, aloof, rude, overbearing, blunt, genius and emotionless. And that’s the truth. Except for Itachi and Naruto. So when I say he is rude or arrogant, it is from the people’s POV.  And since I always see myself in Itachi, I see Sasuke as that adorable innocent child who is very honest but forgiving.
I strongly feel that Sasuke has some innocent enchantment towards Naruto ever since he lost his family which later transcended into a bond which cannot be put under Friendship or Bromance. Enchantment, here I meant by, is not in a sexual way but more like the unconscious need to be in the presence of other person. Like walking beside each other eternally. Or even warming up next to a campfire near a chilly beach. You don’t want to fall into the fire but just enjoy the warmth. It maybe totally a platonic love like many claims to be. But his absolute disinterest in any other characters (even just as a friend) and the following traits he shows only to Naruto are clearly not just distinctive of platonic love either. It’s completely beyond platonic.
The following are the traits which Sasuke shows only towards Naruto, could have been avoided or delegated to other characters if the creator really wanted to assert their relationship as just friendship. There are lot of subtexts and emotions which I cannot accept it under the guise of bromance or friendship. It’s just not possible. If someone you like shows all these traits to another person, you should stop thinking about that person and move on.
The traits are :
Preferential Treatment
Attentive
Protective
My body moved on its own
One and Only
Powerful Eyes
Unconscious Closeness
Preferential Treatment
This is the very basic and first thing you show to someone whom you love. Meaning, I will treat this person much different from everyone else. When I was exploring this trait, I couldn’t stop laughing in many places. Because Sasuke is such a trolling machine who mercilessly trolls people who are in his way. He also inspire certain amount of fear which makes him even more unapproachable.
He has this cold bearing where people find it extremely difficult to manage or approach him. It comes off as very rude most of the times. One such example is Sai told Sasuke that he will get along better with him than Naruto. Sasuke put a Genjutsu on him for comparing himself with Naruto. LOL.
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What's more funny is most people (Sakura, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Sai, Hinata) usually talk to him politely with honorifics like 'Sasuke-kun'. But he didn't give two shits about them and shitted them all mercilessly.
Here is the infamous proposal from Sakura in part 1.
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Well she deserved this one to be honest. Throughout the entire conversation Sasuke never saw her face and responded very bluntly even though she was pouring her heart out crying. There was no visible distress or sadness from Sasuke’s side.
Whereas with Naruto, in the final Valley of The End, we saw him turning towards Naruto and answer him properly when Naruto asked the same question of what Sakura asked. There were so many emotions throughout the battle and Sasuke’s pain of leaving Naruto was clearly shown. Which explains the difference of where Sasuke keeps Naruto in his heart.
The following is the one from Chunin Exams prelims where Sakura is begging for him to quit with tears. The response is an usual 'Stay out of my business'.
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Me: Sasuke!!!! Even I don't know how to approach you!!!! I understand you don't like to talk unnecessarily so you just shitted on Sai. But Sakura is your teammate, isn't it?
And then there is this little orange blonde who literally trolls Sasuke.
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I really thot Sasuke was going to trash Naruto too, like he could have easily said, 'Naruto, you should also stay out of my business'.
But then
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These words are something precious for Naruto. He wished for these words to come from Sasuke someday in his lifetime. But not at that time. And he was truly shocked and very excited. Believe me, when watching that scene, it was really great. But while making analysis like this, it’s absolutely hilarious.
This dynamics is similar to
Sakura: *cries unbearably* Sasuke-kun, I am worried about you. Don’t act so strong.
Sasuke: Shut up. Mind your own business.
Naruto: Bastard! She is worried about you.
Sasuke: Alright, I love you. Now shut up.
ROOOFFFFL :-D
I thought all these childhood bickers were over by part 1 and we will never see it in part 2.
Nope. I was wrong. Kakashi and Sakura were the scapegoats here.
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Here's another round of applause from Naruto.
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And I honestly cannot comprehend what was going on in Sasuke's mind and why he is really rude to Sakura and Kakashi. It seems he was really irritated by their presence or he maybe thinking they were useless or both.
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When Naruto asks him something, he responds without any insults. What baffles me most is that during Infinite Tsukuyomi, Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto for his Revolution and awaiting his fated battle. And yet he answers him properly.
Can you see the pattern here?
He shits on people asking some question even with an utmost polite attitude but when Naruto asks the same question he was like "Alright Sweetie, Am gonna answer anything you want and say anything you like".
The following is the beginning of everything where Naruto can't even swear properly but still Sasuke couldn't even bother.
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In short, the way he treats Naruto is quite different and hilarious when compared to the others. With his cold bearing, he absolutely has no need to put up with Naruto's outburst but he still accepts without a care every time. RIP to those souls who got the short end of the stick.
He must have an extreme tolerance towards Naruto's tirades to the point where he can never insult him back. And I also believe 100% that, nobody dares to make such frequent insults on Sasuke to his face except Naruto.
I know SK shippers jump in here to say Naruto is not the only one. But still the dynamics between Karin and Sasuke is simply a mirror image of Naruto and Sasuke, probably she reminded him of Naruto and hence made some exceptions for her because Sasuke never gives a damn about any other clan other than his own, but when Kabuto tells him Karin belongs to Uzumaki clan, he was shocked. I am pretty sure the only other Uzumaki member he knew is none other than Naruto.
Now, does this means he is in super love with Naruto? No.
But the way he treats every other characters and how he treats Naruto exclusively speaks volumes and this trope shouldn’t have existed in the first place. The creator should have made Sasuke treat both of his teammates equally which could’ve deflected the shipping angle. 
Attentive
Am not talking about how attentively he analyzes his enemies in the battles. Of course, in that department, Sasuke flies high. This is about how attentive he is to Naruto to the point where he can deduce what Naruto thinks and how Naruto looks without the need to communicate with him.
I know Sasuke suspected Sakura was acting strange before Chunin Exams when she said 'Good Morning' with some hesitation. But the difference here is that Sasuke can identify Naruto without even talking to him.
Funny thing here is that Sasuke was sitting somewhere far behind from Naruto and yet he could pick up Naruto getting freaked out without seeing his face.
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Who could forget about the famous ‘Where’s real Naruto?’ episode during Chunin Exams?. It would’ve been fine if this happened once. But the creator went ahead and made this thing happen twice under entirely different situations. And everytime Sasuke can find fake Naruto without fail. This scene conveys Sasuke is very observant towards Naruto’s appearance & fighting skills (the way he evades an attack).
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Now, being attentive to someone is not a special thing which attributes to love. But considering Sasuke’s personality who is aloof and focused on his own world, knowing Naruto like the back of his hand  is way too descriptive. Only someone who really understands the other person or constantly paying attention can find out such subtle changes. It doesn’t end here.
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This is the battle between Gaara and Naruto. Where Naruto was literally confused about how to save his friends from Gaara who is much more powerful. And yet Sasuke can find Naruto’s mood just by seeing him.
Me: Yes, Sasuke!!! Gaara happened to pass by Naruto and forgot to kill him on a whim!!! So, Naruto is scared to the shit!!
Also Me: You guys always bicker with each other and are not best of friends. Sasuke!!! How could you analyze his mood just by looking at Naruto????
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In Shippuden, There’s no inner monologue like the above, but whenever Naruto appears before him (Orochimaru’s hideout, Bridge, War arc), Sasuke gives his undivided attention to him. He even went so far as to advice him to pay attention to the battle. And I was like “Wait!!! you wanted to kill him... why pay attention to him at all? Geez”.
As much as you want to think that Sasuke doesn’t care about anyone, he does care about Naruto to the point where he doesn’t want him to be worried. How thoughtful just for a ‘teammate’.
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How did Sasuke knew that Naruto would worry about him?, I wonder.
But all these things started from this
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This boy has been noticing Naruto from way back when he was around 7 when he lost his family. Of course he would know every little things about Naruto because for some undefinable reason he couldn’t stop paying his attention to Naruto. A lineup of girls vying for his attention because of his cool appearance, whereas Sasuke simply loved Naruto without any reservations but because of his childish and warm personality which reminded him of his family.
‘I couldn’t stop paying attention to you’  and in some translations the words were ‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you’. Either way, these words are not for someone you see just as a friend let alone a brother.
Protectiveness
I can go on and on about how protective Sasuke is towards Naruto. I can write a separate post about it. This is the most important aspects of this ship which makes it sail higher than any other ships.
Of course, this is the Ninja world where people wants to protect each other and at the same time kill each other too. Sasuke protecting Naruto and Naruto protecting Sasuke is not too special. In fact, one of the weak and pathetic character like Sakura was saved once in every three episodes by Naruto or Kakashi or even by Sasuke sometimes.
And yet here I am mentioning protectiveness as the most important aspect of this ship. So what differentiates?
The way Sasuke protects Naruto is one of the intense thing I’ve ever seen. When I watch this series, I gained this immense ability to put myself in other characters mind just like Naruto. When I put myself in Sasuke’s mind whenever he tried to protect Naruto under different conditions, I simply cannot put their relationship under Friendship.
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Here, Naruto is fighting Gaara in part 1 and Naruto was repelled by his own attack from the paper bomb. Sasuke being already battered by his curse mark bruise and he couldn’t move an inch. And yet he is shielding Naruto even though it is completely unnecessary because Naruto bumping into a tree log is completely normal. The creator even went under a lot of pain to draw that panel which took 40% of the page.
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Now you may question, many characters even died protecting someone. What’s so special with just shielding?
Like Hinata jumping in for suicide before Pain, Iruka blocking Mizuki’s attack, Tsunade blocking Orochimaru, Neji dying as a ‘Love Cupid’ for hinata and Naruto.... I can cite many things here. What’s common among them all is that they were all perfectly capable of moving around and yet decided to save Naruto.
But that’s not the only point. 
Is there any need for him to save Naruto? No.
Will Naruto die if he didn’t shield him? No.
Then why? He could have spent that energy trying to do something for Sakura rather than do a pointless shielding. 
And then there is Kushina.
Naruto’s mom was already on the verge of dying as she had Kurama extracted from her body and Jinchuriki without a Tailed Beast will die. Because of Uzumaki clan’s strong life force, she could hold off for a bit longer. When kurama attacked Naruto, she shielded him with her body and saved her son from an imminent death.
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Even though Sasuke didn’t die shielding him, but there is a semblance.
Both protected Naruto even when their body condition is worse. That is, Protect at all cost attitude.
I intended to put Land of the Waves arc here as it is very similar to what happens with Kushina. But that’s for an upcoming section.
Now, as a Mother her instinct to protect Naruto is very strong.
But who is Naruto for Sasuke? What makes his instinct so strong to protect someone who is not even related by his blood? Until and unless you love that person dearly you won’t do it.
That brings me to the next thing.
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Yeah, it kind of looks ‘very friendly’ to give a 3 layered protection to someone who is already powered up like you and most importantly you want to kill him.(Can I say that looks really romantic?). Anyways my point is different.
What really happens here is this
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It is a well established fact that Minato, the Yellow Flash is the fastest shinobi in Narutoverse. It wasn’t surpassed yet. He uses the Hiraishin No Jutsu to teleport at the speed of light. It was invented by none other than Tobirama Senju who is the fastest shinobi of his time.
We basically have two fastest shinobi in the battlefield here. And Minato being the fastest among them, definitely don’t want to blow up near his son for whom he died protecting him once. He wanted to teleport somewhere away and before he could do it, Tobirama teleported the bomb back to Obito.
What many fails to notice here is that all these things are happening in mere seconds. But Sasuke realized it real quick as usual and protects Naruto in an instant. How fast his instinct you may ask? Quicker than the two fastest shinobi on the battlefield and one among them is Naruto’s dad.
What I want to say is Sasuke’s protective instinct is quicker than Naruto’s father and similar to Naruto’s mother.
And you know, I questioned myself during the Chunin Exams arc “I think in the Zabuza arc, Naruto conveniently happened to be near Sasuke, So he protected him at the cost of his life. What if Sakura happens to be there? Would he have done the same? Maybe he would’ve died protecting her too.”
But all of my questions were thrown into drain by Sasuke as if he was able to read my mind. The answer is “Hell! I don’t care if she died. That’s her loss. I will not die for her sake.”
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This is really confusing, hilarious and romantic at the same time.
Me: Sasuke!!! I understand why you want to save Jugo... Even though you abandoned him in the Land of Iron. LOL. What are you going to do with Naruto anyway when the whole world is blasted off?
He proved this again in the Kaguya’s Lava dimension too. Before you tell me that he saved Naruto because he needs him to seal off Kaguya, the previous scenario nullifies your argument.
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And SS wankers shamelessly defending that Sasuke don’t want Sakura to die by Kaguya’s hands, that’s why he left her to die. Geez!!! Who the hell is Sakura to Kaguya anyway? Even if she were to die by Kaguya’s hands, it would almost look like how Obito died. It’s not bad at all. But falling into the lava pit, burning, screaming.... sssshhhh. Wake the f**k up!!!
Now how can you convince me that this is just Friendship? What’s more funny is Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto later at some point. Throughout the War Arc I was always confused as to why Sasuke even care about Naruto at all? He didn’t care about him ever since he left him 3 or 4 years ago and he doesn’t have to. After all everyone have their own paths to walk on.
Even if I put myself in Sasuke’s mind and see Naruto just as a friend whom I want to kill, I wouldn’t go under so much pain to save him. I would feel like it’s better for him to die by something else rather than me. Because I can’t bring myself to kill someone I know well.
These scenes are not just put there by chance.
Such a strong reflex to protect someone is only possible when you consider that person’s life more than yours.
Does any other ship has such things to show? I’ll wait.
Yeah Sasuke protected Sakura from Orochimaru and Gaara. But he also went so far to wait for Karin and awakened a new power to protect her. So does this means he love those girls?? No. He was just showing a team camaraderie. But it’s funny that later, he tried to kill those girls knowing full well they are unprepared to fight him. While with Naruto, it always comes with a warning. Try to understand this difference. Which is exactly why I didn’t put Sasuke saving Naruto during his Chakra training, or falling from the waterfall and many more. Because they are just a team camaraderie.
I don’t even have to compare with other ships, did Sasuke ever protected anyone like this in the whole series?. These are the things which could’ve been avoided or handled in a different way, like there was no need to emphasize on saving Naruto alone while ignoring others.
My body moved on its own
I don’t need to explain this any deeper. There are many people who says Sasuke is incapable of showing his true feelings. He is cold, rude, aloof and stoic so he always hides his feelings for everyone (mostly this line was used by Sakura wankers who wanted to portray that Sasuke always loved Sakura deeply but never shows). But they fail to understand the irony that one of the most beautiful line in this entire series was told by none other than ‘Sasuke Uchiha’, “My body moved on its own”.
Yet I find Sasuke shows his honest and heartful emotions before the people he loves. If he can show that to Itachi and Naruto, why not with Sakura?
I know those wankers try to say Sasuke repressed all his feelings until Chapter 698, so he has some romantic feelings for Sakura too. Bullshit!!!
Even though he repressed those feelings in his mind, his body always betrays him in the end and his feelings pours out from time to time. That is what this section explores about.
Man, this is the most painful GIF I have ever made.
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In his battle with Itachi, he was completely consumed by the feeling of revenge and hatred for his brother. But when Itachi approached him in his final moments with an intention (seemingly) to snatch his eyes, he still couldn't push Itachi away though he could have. Sasuke just looked into his eyes and let him do whatever he was about to do.
Why?, Because he loved his brother so much once that he don't know what to do but simply embrace that moment. These are the moments your mind says to close your eyes or even run away (he totally could have) but his body will not allow him to.
This is what I meant by your body betrays yourself. Even in your darkest moments, you cannot fake. You always show your true emotions towards the person you love. The more you suppress, the more it will burst out.
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Here Sasuke’s hatred is glaring through his eyes because Sakura is persuading him to not do something he wants to (as always). His only motivation is to kill that man. His resolve is a real deal.
But in a matter of minutes after giving that long hateful speech with some heavy determination, when he saw that hungry blonde boy who was tied up for trying to steal food, Sasuke just acted on his own and served him food even though he was told not to which could jeopardize his career.
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This bipolar dance is something to notice throughout the series and is always interesting to explore. When Sakura tries to dissuade Sasuke from something, he always retorts to insults or an angry stare. But when Naruto accidentally stands in Sasuke’s way, he always involuntarily helps him out.
In short, towards Sakura he was like “Even you cannot take that path away from me” but when turning towards Naruto, he was like “Well, I can risk everything for you at the cost of my path”.
This seals the real deal for SNS ship.
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At this point, for us viewers, Naruto is just an orphan who has no friends but always carries his life with a positive spirit hoping that someday he will be accepted by everyone.
Unbeknownst the fact that he already has one person who was willing to die for him and putting all his dreams into fire.
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Important thing to notice, It’s entirely at Naruto’s fault for them being in this situation. If Naruto had used a bit of brain to attack from outside the mirror, they wouldn’t have been in this situation. But still Sasuke plunged into the trap without any regrets. That’s the beauty of this scene.
What’s more thrilling is that the creator told us Sasuke loved Naruto in the very next chapter itself. 
How?
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By making Haku jump before Zabuza knowing full well that he is going to die which is not very different from how Sasuke shielded Naruto.
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And not only that, but by making Naruto say “He really loved you”. I got to say the creator may sucks at writing Sakura and Hinata for God only knows for whatever twisted reasons. But when it comes to male characters like Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Obito... he was just amazing and on another level.
How?
By indirectly drawing parallels between Sasuke and Haku in a matter of successive chapters.
By dropping indirect hints and crumbs like these to tell us, the audience, the motivations of the characters.
I always had the thought why did he risked his life for a boy who always fights with him? This became more emotional when we get to know the real reason for why Sasuke risked his life much later in chapter 698.
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Having faced all the turbulent things in his life, somehow seeing Naruto doing all those childish stuffs made him feel relieved. That warmth was what he needed at that time. He wanted to escape from it but couldn’t. That’s why he embraced his warmth unknowingly in his Team 7 days by constantly reaching out to him starting from asking tips, concerned about having breakfast and training with him to climb the tree.
Sasuke even come to like Naruto more than himself and that’s why he was willing to die for him.
This feeling is definitely not a bromance or friendship. It’s an innocent enchantment you hope to last forever. Which again explains why he tolerated Naruto’s insults and hostility all those times. Because Sasuke knew those childish things were the ones he got attracted to him ever since his childhood. Rather than saying tolerated, I should use the term enjoyed. He really enjoyed those moments being bugged by Naruto for no reason.
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Because just like Itachi said to Sasuke once, ‘If you are excellent you become alienated and arrogant even though you were sought after at the beginning’ . But Naruto pestering him means he is very curious about Sasuke which no one else tried. He was adored by those girls for his coolness and revered by those boys for his excellence but nobody really tried to befriend him. But Naruto tried to befriend him through Rivalry. That’s why Sasuke unconsciously started to like him. This also explains why he roasted Sakura for badmouthing him even though Naruto attacked him and tied him up earlier.
If Sasuke can show all these feelings even though he was trying to suppress it towards Naruto and Itachi, Why can’t he show a single normal feeling towards Sakura??? Because there isn’t one. Except for an old Team 7 camaraderie where he saw her as an acquaintance and nothing more.
Many NH shippers claims, but Hinata loved her ‘Naruto-Kun’. She jumped in front of Naruto to save him from Pain, when in reality she just acted selfishly and couldn’t pull out the Chakra rods. Meaning she failed whatever she was about to do.
Another interesting thing to cite for NH shippers, they claim for Naruto, Hinata is the most important person his life. Since when? With that shitty movie called ‘The Last’ with shitty retconned stuff? In all the 699 chapters he always claimed Iruka Sensei and Sasuke were the important people in his life. And you know what? For Hinata to like Naruto, he has to jump in to save her from the bullies. But for Sasuke he just saved Naruto without any validation. He saw Naruto and liked his presence and just did it. 
When you could accept that failed attempt as a love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto when in fact he succeeded in saving him and that too unconditionally?
This is one of the tropes which should have been avoided if the creator wanted Sasuke and Naruto to be just friends.
One and Only
This is something very special that is offered to that one person in his life. That is Naruto. Even Itachi knew it. That is the Power to influence Sasuke’s heart. This is the fact even Sasuke himself knew it and that’s why he wanted to kill him.
Now don’t compare this with the manipulation shit which Orochimaru and Obito were doing. It’s not that. Many Sasuke fanatics always blame Naruto that he is also manipulating Sasuke just like everyone. That’s totally wrong.
Manipulation is something you do by talking about some twisted facts and make the other person to do what you want to.
Naruto never did that. Ever. Whenever Naruto and Sasuke meet, they always talk about themselves and how they feel. Not the world, not Team 7 or anything. Which is exactly why Sasuke himself willingly left that space in his heart for Naruto when he left him in the Valley of the End which he badly wanted to destroy. Sasuke, of all people, know Naruto is also very honest.
Sasuke lost all his rationality when he went into darkness by stabbing Karin who was helping him in his battle with Danzo. She even replenished his chakra many times. He not only just stabbed her, after when he found her still alive, he decided to finish her off with his Chidori.
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And then the pink haired bitch appears before him and started to concoct lies with malicious intent to kill him. This provoked Sasuke more and more to reach this point.
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Believe me, when you are lost in darkness, all you need is a small light which can show you a path. Someone who can extend helping hands to lift you up with honesty.
Sakura, being a crass woman, riled up Sasuke further with full of nonsense.
If you want to picture the darkness,
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This is exactly how Sasuke feels. He is in so much pain and don’t know how to face it or deal with it. So he started to destroy everything he sees. For him Karin, Sakura, Kakashi are all just some pebbles in his way and want to trample them as he goes. His entire life has become farce after knowing his beloved brother’s real pain and miseries. Now he has no one left from his family.
Until Naruto appears.
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He may not be his family, but he is the only person left for him in this world. Which is established in many Naruto endings and even Sasuke himself accepts this with Sage of Six Paths. 
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But my Cherry Blossom queen really loved Sasuke, she only wanted the good of him. My question is ‘Then why the fuck she tried to kill him? She looked at Sasuke and find that he changed. She didn’t even bothered to find out what’s going on from his side.’ Then how is this considered as wanting only good for him? 
Surprisingly Sasuke calmed down a bit, the moment Naruto appears and even started to respond to him which he didn’t before with Kakashi and Sakura. Deep down Sasuke himself knew in his heart that the path he is going through is Self-destructive. Just like Kurama tells Naruto ‘Destroy everything you see’ in the Pain arc when he sprouted upto Eighth Tail, Sasuke’s traumatic mind tells him to ‘Destroy Konoha’.
All he needed was someone to extend an helping hand to tell him what to do without any malice. Naruto did that. Just like what Minato did for Naruto in Pain arc.
After clashing Rasengan with Chidori ,they meet inside the White bubble space and Naruto talks to Sasuke which evoked all his past memories which he never wanted to awaken.
That’s why Sasuke was visibly shaken with Naruto’s words. Because those were the words which mirrors exactly how Sasuke feels too. He was surprised and shocked that Naruto also felt the same way without him ever openly confessing those feelings.
When everyone tried to kill him for his monstrosity, Naruto is the only person standing there seeing him as his friend. Just like how Iruka saw Naruto way back in 1st chapter.
Believe me, even at the depth of darkness, when you see the person you love so much, you will stop and rationalize.
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That is exactly why Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s hands. He even admitted to Sasuke that his words will not reach him no matter what.
Sasuke may not have abandoned his ambitions at that point. But Naruto gave him a clear path. That is ‘Show all your hatred on me’ and then do whatever you want.
I know SS shippers will claim that back hug from Sakura changed his murderous behaviour during the Chunin Exams. Yes. That’s true. But right after that, when Sasuke was fighting Yoroi in a one-on-one combat, his Cursed Seal flares up again. He retracted that seal out of his sheer will and thought about both Sakura and Naruto who was freaking out without even knowing about the seal. So, it’s not only a Sakura exclusive moment. The creator even went ahead and drawn a panel asking Sakura to not say anything about the Curse Mark to Naruto. Why do that?
As far as I understand, Sasuke saw Naruto and felt the warmth of his family. He singled that out in chapter 698. When Naruto was placed in the same team as him, he started to extend his good side to his other team members as well. But the moment he decided to leave the village, he severed the ties with Sakura (was there ever one apart from considering her as a teammate?) by saying Thank You. Meaning, you helped me many times so thanks for all of that. What’s more pitiful is, he didn’t even look at her face for the entire conversation except for saying ‘You are really annoying’. There is nowhere in the manga where Sasuke singled out Sakura for making him feel anything and did something for her exclusively. It’s all in the context of Team 7.
If Sakura is the most important person in Sasuke’s life, he should have stopped the rampage the moment he saw her but instead he got riled up more and more. Which explains where Sasuke kept her in his heart. Literally nowhere. He threw her into the trash. LOL.
If Hulk can calm down after seeing Betty Ross and you call that love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto??
Powerful Eyes
You know, Even in real life, Our eyes always reflects our true feelings, just like how your body betrays your mind , your eyes even betray your body.
Just like how Itachi could never fake his evil brother act in his final moments.
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Just like how Sasuke couldn’t turn away from Itachi when he was approaching him to seemingly snatch his eyes.
Uchiha boys being a romantic bunch, always expose their awakening/ reawakening/ evolving their Sharingan in a most distressed situation. Just like Madara and Sasuke exposed their brimming eyes for Hashirama and Naruto. But in this department, Madara is wildly romantic as always. LOL. Despite losing 3 brothers, he awakened his Sharingan only when he was breaking up with his ‘friend’. And Sasuke, he reawakened / evolved Sharingan when trying to save / breaking up with his ‘friend’. Such a Biological defect!!!!
Poor Sakura pathetically fails in this department.
Anyways this part is not about Sharingan anyway. It’s about how such a powerful eyes becomes powerless before those Blue Eyes.
Eye Symbolism is something I really enjoy exploring in this ship.
Like I mentioned earlier, Sasuke has never shown his emotions atleast starting from Part II. He usually never shows any positive emotions like happiness, laughing, pouting, love, excitement (although he has shown all these towards Itachi and Naruto) and is known for negative emotions like anger, annoyance, hatred.
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Look at how Sasuke is glaring with hatred for her insensitive words. She deserved this to be honest.
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Now, is there any need to show your fury towards Kabuto?
Since the beginning of the Shippuden, some facts have been established strongly:
1. Sasuke has changed by leaps and bounds in terms of his attitude and hatred.
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2. Sharingan is pretty dangerous. Many characters including kurama acknowledges it. Sasuke is very adept at using his Sharingan.
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Orochimaru maybe right. But he doesn’t know the weakness. LOL
His hatred has reached to a point where he couldn’t think anything rationally and started to kill everyone, just like how Naruto kicked Sakura in his 4 Tailed Kyuubi Mode engulfed with the hatred of Kurama. Meaning, to reach his goal, Sasuke will kill anyone in his path without any hesitation. This shot is the representation of this.
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And yet when he saw those particular Blue eyes, he stops his rampage immediately and visibly shocked even.  That’s the look of ‘why is that blue eyes here?’
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You have every right to accuse me that I am over exaggerating this scene. I am not. Even I wanted to think that way too that I am deluding myself. The creator has only consolidated my view pretty strongly.
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There’s no need to emphasize on eyes at all. The anime team has went under so much pain to animate this scene in a satisfying and compelling way.
What’s more? The creator even went under further extent to draw a whole page in the manga focusing on their eye contact after the Rasengan vs Chidori clash. Meaning, Sasuke has calmed down visibly and became very easy to reason with.
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Trust me, even in your darker / vulnerable moments, your eyes will reflect your true feelings to the person you love. You cannot be stubborn. 
Now did it stop here?? Nope, it happened again in the Final Valley of the End battle too.
Sasuke is usually confident of his Sharingan (rightfully so) and likes to flaunt his eyes just like Madara. He was very sure that he was going to win.
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While Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill Naruto when he was showing his back, but the moment he comes close with those Blue Eyes, his heart even pounded strongly (in the anime), and lost the resolve completely which made his Sharingan retract itself unconsciously. Meaning, his eyes betrayed him.
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It’s funny that not even a minute ago he was very proud of his Visual Prowess as an Uchiha and his victory is inevitable but the moment he saw those Blue eyes, he just lost. You think I am again exaggerating?. Nope!!!
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Oh Dear!!! This doesn’t get more romantic than this. An inescapable gaze from those blue eyes he loved all along.
Sasuke!! What happened to your proud Uchiha eyes?. You just stole Chakra from Naruto, isn’t it? Hints like these are really heartwarming, to be honest.
My entire point is, every character from every arc hypes up Sharingan starting from Zabuza, Haku, Rock Lee, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Kurama and many more, but why put a weakness for Naruto’s eyes? 
What I really loved exploring is the way Sasuke totally expressed everything through his eyes in Episode 478.
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Sasuke shows his vulnerability towards Naruto with just his eyes. These are not something you show to everyone. Even when Itachi departed finally after releasing Edo Tensei, Sasuke looked sad, shocked and pained but didn’t cry. He accepted the reality of it. The last time when we saw him crying, it was after knowing the truth of Itachi, facing towards the beach and was weeping unbearably because there was no one else for him in this world. But this time, he is next to the person whom he feels truly loved and he doesn’t mind showing it with his eyes.
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Well, on multiple rewatches, the clues for their love was already dropped in the 1st Valley of the End fight itself. Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by balling his chidori fist rather than ramming through his chest. So the feelings inside the bubble are their honest emotions like always.
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The pain on the verge of their separation inside the white bubble is clearly evident from their eyes even in their monstrous form. Even in the manga it was mentioned that ‘I can’t turn my back  Vs  I am not letting you go’
But what they really wanted to be from their childhood was this.
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Look at Sasuke, how entranced he was on looking at that innocent boy. Now put yourself at Sasuke’s mind. Will you ever look at your friend like that??? Now, they are probably just 7 here, am not romanticizing. But Sasuke looks enthralled innocently.
But somehow, their paths separated them for who knows how long. But the pain in both their eyes is unbearable. Even the databook, mentioned that separating from Naruto is like ripping half of his body. Well, this proves it.
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Now, if they really wanted to portray this as friendship, they never should have given Eye symbolism at all. They should have gone with ‘I was always jealous of you’ thing, like they portrayed in that filler episode 450.I would’ve gladly accepted it as friendship. Because that’s how friends behave when they are jealous and I wasn’t feeling any romance at all. There’s no need of that lengthy monologue on how he was always looking at Naruto and felt pain.
I am telling you, I won’t be looking at my friend like this. 
Unconscious closeness
Remember, I’ve written in the beginning of the post that Sasuke enjoys the warmth from Naruto. Meaning, he likes that person’s presence unconsciously and want to be near him. Sasuke proved this many times.
This is the most intense and confusing section I have to dissect for this post. But it’s the most entertaining nonetheless, atleast for me.
Starting from the Land of the Waves arc, here Sasuke is speed walking to match up with Naruto.
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Initially I thought, he is trying to be competitive. But instead of walking ahead of Naruto to show who is faster, he just walks beside him. I find this really hilarious and adorable. This just shows Sasuke likes Naruto’s presence so much so that he wants to walk beside him.
Now many SS shippers tries to make this scene for themselves, when it is clearly not.
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If you notice Sasuke in the Bell Training, he compares his strength difference with Kakashi and determines to get stronger. Same with Might Guy, he compares Might Guy’s speed with his own Sensei. Meaning, he respects people with strength. Naturally, he should’ve asked her and Sakura would have given him tips wholeheartedly. Because she really succeeded in that training.
Why bother to ask a deadlast?
The only reason I could find is that he wants to befriend him in his own stubborn way. But Poor Soul!!! He didn’t get the tips anyway. LOL. But despite getting the short end of the stick, he never hold it against him. Just like he never held anything against Naruto when he tied him up in Episode 3. All he did was just flaunt how he escaped.
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Pretty cool for a 12 year old kid. Because If I were Sasuke, I would hold it for sure.
Once again Sasuke proves how he can care Naruto in his own adorable way.
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He could’ve said ‘I am going to train too” if he really intended to train. There is no need to say ‘Going for a Walk’ and ask Naruto about breakfast. This explains that Sasuke simply missed the boy’s prolonged absence and reached out to him in his own cute way.
Now all these doesn’t mean he was in love with him. It’s just a childish attraction which makes him act like that involuntarily.
I just added this GIF to compare with the next scene.
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Now Shikamaru falling on Naruto in an unconventional way doesn’t look anywhere romantic. Instead it’s the opposite. They are pretty friendly here.
But Sasuke’s approach to Naruto does looks undeniably sensual and I couldn’t deny the sexual tension that brings with it. (Even when I watched it for the first time having no idea of shipping anyone, I lowkey got creeped and thought, ‘Sasuke!! What have you become? ’)
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This scene is something even I can’t dissect. Because honestly I don’t know. Sasuke is a person who never appreciates physical touches nor does he initiates either.
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I get this crazy femme fatale vibe when seeing Sasuke with his sexy costume landing at a speed of lightning with his hands wrapped around Naruto and taunting near his ear about what was he doing there? The only reason I could think of is that maybe he missed him for 3 years which made him go unconsciously so close near Naruto. It’s also funny that he could’ve shoved his sword into Naruto’s heart before landing and no one could’ve batted an eyelid.
Damn you, Kishimoto!!! Is this scene absolutely necessary??? What are you trying to convey? Why do you give Sasuke, a sexualized aura?? I understand you love this character so much and you want this character to be desirable among women. Yeah, you succeeded by making Karin behave like a woman in heat, the moment they met. But instead of letting her get close to him, you made Sasuke to say ‘You... Don’t get so close’ whereas with Naruto, you made Sasuke to go willingly touch him in a half hugging stance. Geez!!!
Here comes the most interesting part in this section.
It may seem irrelevant at the beginning but trust me, it will make sense later.
Before that, I would like to appreciate the creator and especially the anime team to bring the battle sequence so lively and different in its own way. If you notice the purpose of every battle that happened in Naruto series, each carries it own meaning and deliberately distinguished. How you ask?
The fight between Deidara vs Sasuke.
Logically Deidara should be dead in the Gaara retrieval arc itself. There is no point for him to chase Sasuke who killed Orochimaru to whom Deidara had nothing to do with. It didn’t impact the story in any way. But the purpose of that battle is to show how far Sasuke has grown up in those 3 years. The way he can use his Sharingan to analyze his enemies abilities and weakness so quickly and take multiple steps ahead, the way he can use Genjutsu and other incredible jutsus in his arsenal were a visual treat.
Now, let’s analyze Sasuke’s arsenal of Jutsus. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, a decent Genjutsu, Chidori Senbon (needles), Raikiri (Chidori sword which ranges to 5 metres), Chidori Nagash (Chidori from his whole body), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu Shuriken Jutsu with wire works, Kirin, Gokakyu No jutsu, Sword fighting, basic Hand-to-Hand fighting (I’ve never seen him do it ever since the Chunin Exams with Orochimaru), Archery fighting, Susanoo, Amaterasu and all the Rinnegan abilities.
Based on the jutsus he learned so far and how he applies in every battle, it all confirms two things:
Sasuke is a Medium-Long Range Shinobi
Sasuke’s battles are usually based on his Cleverness
Let’s go for Naruto. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, Sexy Jutsu, Harem no jutsu, Rasengan, Rasen Shuriken, Oodama Rasengan, Biju Dama, Tailed Beast Mode, Kage Bunshin No jutsu, Sage mode jutsu, Frog Kumite, Better Hand-to-Hand combat skills (better than Sasuke), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu and all his Six path abilities.
Compared to Sasuke, Naruto’s jutsu variety is very less. But for every 4 punches from Sasuke equals 1 powerful punch from Naruto. Analyzing all of them,
Naruto is a Close-Range Shinobi except for his Rasen Shuriken
Naruto’s battles are usually based on his Jutsu Timing and Unpredictability
Now, Let’s rewind back to 3 years and look at the 1st Valley of the End battle. That battle was cleverly choreographed which carried very intense emotional baggage. Things we never knew about those boys until then were openly admitted and acknowledged. That is, for Sasuke, Naruto became his closest friend. For Naruto, he always wanted to be Sasuke’s friend way back when he was 6 or 7. For both, they already have some unexplainable bond by just looking at each other and smiling secretly.
The theme of that battle started as Am going on my own path vs I can’t allow you to tread on that dangerous path and ended up with I want to break our bond vs I don’t want to.
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Now, this posture represents, Naruto is the one who pursues Sasuke to stop him from whatever he was about to do. Meaning, Naruto is the one who is constantly reaching out and Sasuke as usual kicks him out violently, that is he is pushing him away. That’s the essence of the whole battle.
Considering all the battles in the Naruto universe, I categorize them as follows:
Best Calculated (and emotional) battle - Itachi vs Sasuke
Best Hand-to-Hand combat - Kakashi vs Obito (what a fight it was!!!)
Best Mega Powered Up battle - Hashirama vs Madara
Best Emotional battle - Naruto vs Sasuke (1st valley of the end)
Best Unpredictable/Entertaining battle - Naruto vs Pain
Despite having all the potential to fulfill the above categories, The Final Valley of the End Battle never bested in any of them.
As analyzed before, the boys have grown up to greater heights. I expected a battle between Cleverness of Sasuke Vs Unpredictability of Naruto
But what I observed was something so intense. That is Unintentional closeness.
This battle symbolizes one thing: I am going to kill you to get lonely vs I won’t let you kill me because you will be alone.
Being a long range fighter, I expected Sasuke to go for this.
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If you have to kill someone you love, it is best to keep your distance. Sasuke knows this full well when he battled with Itachi. Except for some Sword fighting, he maintained a certain distance to fight Itachi throughout, until the very end.
But when fighting Naruto, all I got was this.
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That’s when I finally understood that this posture means, the fight is very personal. Which means, Sasuke or Naruto won’t be fighting by sitting on top of each other with their enemies or anyone else. That’s just between them alone.  
There was no analysis or cleverness from Sasuke’s side or any Unpredictability from Naruto. It was very bland and Sasuke looked clueless throughout the fight.
It started with some boxing style combat, including stealing hand seals and then some power punches. Very quickly it propels to Susanoo vs Tailed Beast mode. I expected some Hashirama vs Madara level power battle.
But all we saw there was this.
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I mean, Come on!!! Man. Even the most Crazy and openly Romantic Uchiha, Madara himself never fought like this in Susanoo with Hashirama (Though Madara must be thinking ‘Damn Hashirama! I should’ve tried this with you’. LOL). Those mega battles carried variety of tactics.
Another thing I noticed was, Sasuke is the one who does lots of talking and constantly pursuing Naruto. Whereas Naruto is uncharacteristically quiet for the most part. 
And finally it leads to this.
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Sasuke was unconsciously getting closer and closer to Naruto which is the opposite of what he wants to do. Because of that very closeness, he couldn’t look at his eyes with his Sharingan and eventually got an uppercut. It’s like Sasuke was screaming, ‘Hate me’ and Naruto was like ‘Keep talking’.
Every jutsu he had for attacking from a long-range were forgotten. He didn’t even try to put Naruto under Genjutsu. I mean with his Rinnegan, he was capable of putting all the 9 Tailed Beasts into a powerful Genjutsu. Why didn’t he try that with Naruto? There was no Chidori Stream or Lightning Blade.
I can imagine Naruto doing close range fights with someone or even sitting on top of the enemy. Example, part I, Naruto head bumped Gaara. He was literally fighting with his Shadow Clones against a Monster so he had to get closer. Naruto monstrously punching Deidara not knowing the fact that it was a clay clone.
But Sasuke??? Can you imagine Sasuke sitting on top of the enemy and punching to pulp??? No way. Not a chance.!!!
In one way or other way, Sasuke was always in the close proximity with Naruto throughout the battle and touching each other which is totally uncharacteristic of him when compared to his other battles.
Every battle he ever fought was always at a distance which is the clear representation of his own character. He is calculative, analytical, precise and moves fluidly with a flair like a true Ninja unlike Naruto who is always reckless, noisy, powerful and clumsy. 
Sasuke is someone who never lets his emotions get ahead in the battle, unlike Naruto. This is evident from the War when he was yelling at Naruto to stop worrying about Hokage as they were Edo Tensei who can regenerate. Even when fighting with Itachi, he calculated every move and attacked Itachi without any emotions except at the very end. Sasuke in this final battle forgot who he was and telling us viewers “Am just gonna get closer to Naruto and punch him hard”.
In short, Sasuke completely forgot all his battle tactics he had with Itachi and let his emotions get ahead of his cleverness and got himself closer to Naruto which eventually ended up weakening his resolve to kill him. This is what I meant by Unintentional Closeness.
Anyways, what I understood was, the creator didn’t put all this by without any meaning. It’s all very deliberate and drawn carefully.
Moving onto the final and the most defining moments of SNS.
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When I watched this scene for the first time, I can’t comprehend the exact meaning. And I forgot about this later because of my excitement to know what happens next. But what I understood on my rewatch is that, the feelings exchanged here is very pure and innocent but distressing.
Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by not ramming Naruto with Chidori instead balled up his fist. So he is not contemplating whether or not to kill Naruto.
Sasuke made every effort to leave Naruto and succeeded in it too. But somehow, accidentally, when faced with a person whom he considers so precious in such a close proximity, despite have a stinging pain in his arm, he is feeling the warmth he once felt. He just wants that warmth to prolong for some more time and he can’t able to evade it. So he totally gave in to that desire and feeling it unconsciously. Sasuke always watched Naruto (unbeknownst to him) and felt warmth, relief and weakness. This scene is the symbolic and innocent representation of all those feelings when he saw Naruto and he is exeriencing it for the final time. 
Does this means, does Sasuke wants to kiss him? No.
But every symbolism of that being happening is there. It’s just all open to interpretations. The creator could show us how Sasuke fell on his knees and staring at Naruto intently but never intended to show when he got up and left. I don’t understand this twisted mind of the creator.
Added to that, Sasuke was about to say ‘Naruto, I....’ God only knows what he was about to say. But every possibility of Sasuke confessing and kissing is there.
I know the creator cannot approach this directly considering the situations he worked under. But is there any necessity for such an intense scene? Even the anime creators loved this scene and made their own version of making Naruto’s eyes wide open and even more closer.
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I wont be watching my friend or sister like that. 
That explains all the way back to this fated accidental scene.
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There is nothing special about this scene. It’s all very clear that the kiss was accidental. It was really funny. But my point is why Sasuke never beat him to pulp or even push Naruto away like he did with Sakura and Karin? Why did he stood up for Naruto before Sakura? Why did he let go off Naruto even though he tied him up? Too many leeway for a single person in a single episode. And the most important part is, Sasuke thought it was intentional and remembers the taste. LOL.
Does this means he enjoyed the kiss? Not at all.
Most probably he was shocked to see Naruto in such a close proximity after seeing him from a distance for all those years. And he enjoys this as just another prank from Naruto in his own innocent way. But he won’t mind getting another one from Naruto either.
So, to conclude
I believe I made this post from an objective standpoint without making crazy theories and I don’t have to..... since canonical resources were plenty. Obviously my own bias will also be there which is unavoidable. But I tried to question the creative choices of why this scene even exist in the first place many times. Because those are the scenes which made the most impact inside me.
My first watch of Naruto gave me the benefit of doubt that ‘Are they in love? Nah... They are friends. Maybe I am just overthinking...  but why does it feel different??’ and that too only after finishing episode 478. After rewatching it again and again, it only consolidated my view.
For Sasuke, his worldly ties are pretty thin and runny. He was always a loner from the beginning even when he had his family. He never bothered to make any friends nor did anyone tried to befriend him. He was pretty close to his family especially Itachi. When he lost everything, somehow he got attracted innocently to Naruto and started to like him. But beyond Naruto he never bothered to add anyone in his heart. He considered Kakashi and Sakura were like his acquaintances who helped him a lot and that’s all.
Then after using Orochimaru, he gathered some high skilled shinobi for killing Itachi. But he made it clear that there don’t need to be any understanding but just co-operation would be enough. But along his way, he just abandoned Jugo, Suigetsu somewhere. He openly said to Karin that she is nothing but a burden to him. When his hatred reached upto a maximum boiling point, he didn’t even hesitate to kill Karin, Kakashi or Sakura. But the moment Naruto appears he calmed down. The proof? He was shocked to see Naruto at first. Then Naruto calls, ‘Sasuke!!!’, to which Sasuke responds with, ‘What?’. Despite becoming a maniac, he could find it in his heart to listen to Naruto.
It took an Edo Tenseified Itachi to bring him some rationality to question his beliefs about destroying Konoha. When Jugo and Suigetsu appear again, he casually asked them, ‘What do you want with me at this point?’, I mean, Come On, Man. LOL.  Even during the war arc, when things were about to blast off he only cared about Jugo (who helped him many times, so understandable) and Naruto (Geez!!! LOL).
Even after their final battle, the anime went so far as to create a scene where they were alone in a bright Konoha. But Sasuke looked very peaceful and listening to Naruto intently. When Naruto freaks out about Infinite Tsukuyomi, he casually laughs off and says ‘you still care about the world’. Meaning, he is happy there spending time alone with the person he loves. Doesn’t give a rat’s ass about missing anyone else. (How romantic!!!). Honestly, Sasuke wouldn’t mind if they were to stay that way forever. He would gladly listen to Naruto all day.  But when Naruto disappears he freaks out and starting to make up his mind about joining his brother.
It’s very clear that the people he adores are Itachi and Naruto. Towards Itachi, it’s super understandable, because he is his own brother. But Naruto??? Why should the creator go so far as to make Sasuke adores Naruto even after breaking up with him?
And why make Sasuke possessive about Naruto’s life? When Obito was about to kill Naruto with that Black Orbs, Sasuke blocked him and said ‘You are not the One to sever the past, I am’. I understand the logic behind Sasuke’s possessiveness on Itachi’s life because he destroyed his family, childhood and even Itachi wants Sasuke to be the one to kill him. But why possessive on Naruto? He is not related to him by blood. Naruto never did anything wrong to Sasuke to warrant any hate either. You will become possessive on something only when you truly hate it or wholeheartedly love it. There is no middle ground. My point is why put Naruto here at all in the first place?? Believe me, If Sasuke never paid attention to Naruto in the War arc, I would be the first person to jump out of this ship. 
Just to give you a basic example, Imagine you are living in a place far away from your family, friends and that loveable person. When Corona hits everywhere and forced Lockdown to travel outside the city, and the situation is getting worse day by day. Whom would you desperately reach out first? You would reach the person whom you are connected well in your family and that loved one. You will prioritize your friends only later. This is the Universal truth. Sasuke was seen showing that same instinct in the War arc towards Naruto whom he was not related by blood. And you all just want me to believe Sasuke sees him as just a friend?? Give me a break!!!
If all those traits I’ve mentioned above have been avoided to a greater extent, I would be happy to believe that they are friends. If not all, at the very least delegate some of the tropes to other people or share some of the tropes with other people along with Naruto. But dumping it all on Naruto alone makes me only curious and incredibly romantic too. 
It’s no wonder, Naruto would go so far as to reach out Sasuke even at the expense of his life.
Oh, Did I forget about the cutest and most exclusive trope to SNS?
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U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI, the most personal word which carries its own meaning and is only for Naruto. So funny that Sasuke has to spend a certain amount of energy to call Naruto using a 6 syllabic word rather than NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is much easier.
Disclaimer: This post constituted everything from from Chapter 1 to 699 or Episode 1 to 135 (part 1) + Episode 1 to 479 (Shippuden) excluding fillers. Though Sasuke shinden novel was made into anime, I don’t want to consider that here. As much as I loved the prologue in that novel, I still don’t want to cite that here, as I consider everything after 699 is $$$$ making bullshit.
FUN FACT:
If you put yourself in any character in the Naruto Universe except for Naruto, and ask them, ‘What do you think about Sasuke?’. You know the answer from Sakura, she will say ‘Sasuke-Kun looks very cool and acts aloof, that’s why I love him’. Kakashi will say ‘My favorite student’. And all the other people will say somewhat similar, ‘He is an excellent Shinobi who belongs to the proud Uchiha clan and Naruto’s rival’
But Naruto will be the only person to say this.
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“Lot of fun to be around” ....... LOLLLLL.
Me: No, Naruto!!! Clearly not. No one in your universe can have fun with him except you. Go and Ask Sai, Team Taka or your own Team 7. They adore him for being Cool and Talented. But Fun is not the word that equates with Sasuke unless there is no You, Naruto.
Thanks for reading :-D
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Heyy i was wondering if you could write headcanons on what it would be like to be in a poly relationship with ej and jeff :)
Owo Hello anon!! Thank you for sending in the request and wowo. When I saw Jeff and Ej and then poly relationship, I was like ”Damn, I can see how it works lol” Okeh, here it is!!
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The petal, the thorn and the leaf...
➡ Surprisingly calm :o (ok not really)
➡ You have EJ to keep Jeff calmed down half of the time. You have Jeff to make the relationship exiting (it already was with EJ but a zest of pepper wouldn't hurt ;P) It's an exquisite balance of both spicy and sweet.
➡ An interesting dynamic. You have an intelligent loner demon boy and a long-haired anger issue man taking care of you. How is this not interesting?
➡ The most possessive one will always and is EJ. Why? Mans a demon and he tends to be obsessed with the things he likes.
➡ Jeff is the clingy one. He won't show it, but by the way he holds your frame? Hah, tight like a lock baby (you can still breath tho)
➡ When EJ has you to himself (cuddling, hanging out, etc) he prefers it to be private. Because when Jeff's around, he tends to get you the most.
➡ Jeff is ok with sharing, Ej? Not so much, as long as the other person knows how to share, then he's fine with it.
➡ Ok, Jeff, tbh, is a bit bad with sharing. He's just not used to it! Help him with it, as well as help EJ because these poor boys just- 😞🖐Doesn't have a clue how to share properly
➡ "Why can EJ cling to your arm but I can't??" "Because my other arm is carrying a-" "You idiot, help them carry the bag and then YOU can cling to their arm" "They won't fucking let you so-!!" "THEY HAVE A WAIST YOU DUMBASS!"
➡ As you can see, EJ can get pretty annoyed by Jeff's clinginess-
➡😑(you rn)
➡ Do they fight a lot? Of course, even though EJ is a patient man, Jeff always manages to tick him off. Only when it has to do with Jeff getting your attention or basically anything that has to do with you when he's around.
➡ What about Jeff? What annoys him? He doesn't show his clinginess often. He only does so when he's very needy for your attention.
"Babe~" he groans, clinging to your waist. You only respond with a "Hm?" your eyes not leaving your phone's screen. He groans again, now laying his head on your lap. He looks at you, frowning. Still, despite his efforts, you do not spare a second to look at him. He grumbles and nuzzles his face into your stomach, forcing you to pay attention to him. "Wha- Jeff-" you laughed, "It- It tickles, stop!" He chuckles and takes your phone away, putting it inside of his hoodie pocket. You look at him, "You are very annoying you know?" He huffs and closes his eyes as you play with his hair. "And you love it," EJ watches from afar with pure jealousy as he planned to lay down on your lap that evening
➡ EJ Loves to cuddle, especially when you're on top of him. Why so? It's because he can feel your weight, therefore he knows you're with him. Does it hurt him? He's strong! Whatever your weight, you're light to him.
You relax your body as you feel his breath fanning over the crook of your neck. You could almost hear him purr as you traced words on his back. He feels your heart beating in concert with his. What a wonderful feeling, he thought. Without asking you, he lays down on his back and brings you to lay on top of his chest. You let out a small gasp as he does so. He smiles, feeling your head rest right above his heart, knowing you could hear his heart beating for you.
➡ As time passes, EJ and Jeff warm up to each other and KNOWS how to share. (psst, EJ is still greedy a bit tho heheh) They've come to good terms, to say the least :D
➡ In conclusion, it is a good relationship with a bit of an imbalanced beginning. Relationships take time to build up! So patience (Especially you Jeff) and understanding (EJ, you better do)
I hope this was a good one! Sorry I posted this late ^^" I had an exam week, wish me luck! Have a great day and take care <3 [ps: please give feedback if you don't mind ]
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Warriors Analysis 2: A Breakdown of the Crow/Night/Breeze Family Dynamic
I said I would do it, so here we are. The big doozy. For this one, I’m going to putting all of the sourced scenes in a linked google doc, because I just don’t want to make this post a million miles long. Instead, for this post, I will sum up all of the conclusions made after reviewing every scene involving the family from Po3 through OotS, with other relevant information from other books included.
Context of this one: I’ve watched (and participated in) a lot of debate over this family. Just about every single argument I’ve seen tends to:
1) rely on a person’s opinion of a character overall to how they feel about the family (”I found Nightcloud annoying” often goes along with “Nightcloud is equally bad of a parent” or “Breezepelt was a bad person so I don’t sympathize with him in the family situation”)
2) misremember canon
3) rely on a person’s headcanons of what actually happened to shape their judgement of the family (”Nightcloud spoiled Breezepelt and told him Crowfeather is bad” when there are zero canon scenes of this happening)
Some ground rules: I’m relying on breaking down the canon scenes in the books. I am NOT inserting my own thoughts or beliefs as to what happened behind the scenes. If there’s anything bordering on that (”this behavior implies X”), it’ll be clearly stated that it’s an interpretation. I ask that if you want to comment or debate this analysis that you do the same. People’s headcanons shaping how they remember the family is the thing that frustrated me enough to spend hours digging this up. As a personal request, please don’t use this post to say “Nightcloud still sucks and I hate her”/”Breezepelt still sucks and I hate him”/”neglect isn’t abuse” - the latter is definitively incorrect and is upsetting to hear as a survivor of abuse. “X character still is bad” just takes away from the point of this - which is not to say “Breezepelt is a good person”, but PURELY to breakdown the family dynamic. With that out of the way, let’s GO:
After looking at literally every scene involving Breezepelt, Crowfeather, and Nightcloud and analyzing the ones that involve or mention them as a family, here’s some key points. The scenes that back these points up are included and detailed in this doc.
Breezepaw is introduced to us as a bit aggressive and rude, and his mentor, Whitetail, wishes to Crowfeather that she would teach him manners (earning her no response from him)
We first properly see Nightcloud during the dog attack in The Sight, when Breezepaw returns from checking the barrier. Breezepaw reports that there is no damage, and Crowfeather immediately questions if he actually checked all the way around. Breezepaw tells him “Of course!”, and Nightcloud says that Crowfeather should trust his son more.
This suggests Nightcloud is ready to defend Breezepaw whenever. However, as ThunderClan is leaving, Breezepaw mutters that WindClan can manage on their own. Nightcloud immediately scolds him and compliments Lionpaw for saving Heatherpaw during the battle.
Later, at the daylight Gathering, Lionpaw and Breezepaw are buried underground. Crowfeather and Nightcloud help dig them out, and Breezepaw is not breathing when he comes out. Jaypaw has to pull dirt out of his throat to save his life.
Leafpool says to Crowfeather that she would “give [her] last drop of blood to save [his kit]”. Nightcloud sharply retorts that “our kit was lucky that Jaypaw was here”.
Nightcloud carries Breezepaw away from the scene “like a kit”. Crowfeather offers to help, but she carries him on her own. She does not push him away/force him away/shout at him, she literally just chooses to carry him. Nightcloud spends the rest of the daylight Gathering curled around Lionpaw and Breezepaw and keeping them resting.
We learn these things from the Sight: Breezepaw and Crowfeather seem to have a tense relationship, but that isn’t fully developed. Nightcloud is willing to defend him from Crowfeather’s doubts, but notably does not defend him when he acts like a punk in front of her. She is bothered by Leafpool’s comment about giving her life for Breezepaw (which I personally find pretty reasonable to be bothered by), but counters by giving her gratitude to Jaypaw. She wants to carry Breezepaw after he nearly dies, but isn’t pushing Crowfeather away or denying him anything like many people claim.
In Dark River, Crowfeather encourages Breezepaw’s bias against ThunderClan, telling him that they “celebrate mixed blood” in a tone that implies it as a negative thing. (It seems implied he does this to get to Leafpool, who is upset by his comment.)
Jaypaw is able to feel Nightcloud’s jealous emotions on a few occasions, but she actually never says anything to Leafpool or Crowfeather about it.
In Outcast, Crowfeather is called to go on the journey to the Tribe. Onestar tells him to take Breezepaw, who has gotten in trouble a few times. Breezepaw makes it very plain he doesn’t want to go and worries that his Clanmates are just trying to get rid of him. Crowfeather wants to go, but “sighs” over the idea of taking Breezepaw. To me, he comes off as disinterested and possibly disappointed that he has to bring him. Crowfeather snaps at Breezepaw for asking to say goodbye to his friends, saying “There isn’t time!” even though literally no one is rushing them to leave. Nightcloud comes to say goodbye, but Crowfeather is distant and doesn’t respond to her.
Throughout Outcast, each POV character has at least one (if not many) moments where they think about Crowfeather/Breezepaw and feel pity for Breezepaw, despite really hating him. Hollypaw especially thinks often about how she appreciates Brambleclaw for encouraging and supporting her, and the apprentices all seem to realize that Breezepaw is angry because his father “doesnt seem to like him”. 
When questioning why they have to help the tribe, Crowfeather just tells Breezepaw “You’ll never understand loyalty.”
When they run into Purdy, Breezepaw is pretty rude to him. Crowfeather doesn’t interrupt a single time throughout multiple insults, then reacts by hitting him across the ear without saying anything, which is noted as “a hard blow”.
Breezepaw nearly dies falling off into a ravine after thinking he’s discovered a faster way. Crowfeather pulls him back and snaps at him, expressing no concern for his life. In Eclipse, Crowfeather pointedly does not compliment Breezepaw’s catch of the rabbit, which angers Breezepaw.
During the reveal of Leaf/Crow in the last book, Breezepelt and Nightcloud stand by Crow’s side and don’t publicly turn on him or say anything against him.
This journey gives us a lot of insight into Crow and Breeze’s dynamic. Breezepaw is pretty obviously a little punk throughout this book, but Crowfeather has no healthy way of communicating with him or discipling him. Instead, he snaps at him, hits him, or ignores him, all of which just feeds into Breezepaw’s anger. Nightcloud is not present for any of this and has no way of controlling their interactions here, which could have been a perfect opportunity for Crowfeather to build a relationship with his son if it were true that Night had prevented this.
Breezepelt shows up in Fading Echoes, training in the Dark forest. A few things are made explicit: he is being manipulated by the Dark Forest and Tigerstar’s words have an almost hypnotic effect on him. The cats present egg him on against Crowfeather, feeding into his belief that Crow does not value him. (Side note, I find it really interesting that in this book, Breezepelt has notable value in the warrior code [which encourages his hate towards Crow] and the DF cats encourage this, saying it is “strong” in his blood. Next time we see him, though, he wants to destroy it.)
Flametail randomly thinks about Breezepelt’s family while spending time with Tawnypelt, feeling glad he has nicer kin.
We get the infamous scene where Lion and Breeze fight. Breeze and Crow were both trespassing on ThunderClan territory and Lion caught the prey Breezepelt was about to catch. He intentionally eggs Breezepelt into a fight (rather than just attacking him himself). Leafpool interrupts, asking how Crow can watch this. Nightcloud then shows up and insists Crowfeather has only one son. Leafpool jumps in between them as Breezepelt is leaping for Lionblaze, and she gets clawed. Crowfeather hauls him off and throws him aside, then keeps talking to Leafpool, who tells him she loved him.
Nightcloud then comes over and pulls Crowfeather away from Leafpool. She sinks her claws into his pelt to do this. However, it’s worth noting that this scene contains MANY references to blood every time claws come out - she does not draw blood and he does not express any signal of pain. It’s likely she used her claws only as a means of holding onto him, not to cause him harm. Crowfeather turns on him, and Breezepelt wails before getting between them, telling Crowfeather to leave his mother alone.
Nightcloud doesn’t react rationally in this scene - but neither does any character. Lionblaze is an ass, Breezepelt is an ass, Crowfeather is an ass, and Leafpool is still walking around making declarations of her former love in front of Crowfeather’s wife.
Nightcloud is one of the cats to react rudely to Hollyleaf’s return, but she doesn’t directly attack/challenge her. (This is actually the last time we see Nightcloud.)
The final meaningful scene is in The Last Hope, when Breezepelt fights Lionblaze. Crowfeather intervenes and says he will not allow Breezepelt to hurt him. Breezepelt retorts he always knew Crowfeather hated him, which Crow denies.
“I never hated you!” Crowfeather growled. “That’s just what you were determined to believe. And Nightcloud encouraged you.”
“It’s not her fault!” Breezepelt spat.
“No,” Crowfeather hissed. “I should have done something much earlier...”
This is the first and only time this is blamed on Nightcloud. This is the only indication we have that this could be true.
Some other notable things:
Crowfeather took Nightcloud as a mate to prove his loyalty, not out of love. (This is said in After Sunset: We need to talk)
The Ultimate Guide also confirms the above, but is a questionable source given the many errors included in it. It states that Crowfeather resents Nightcloud (for not being Leafpool), and that Nightcloud coddled Breezepelt. However, the latter is never shown in the story (and the opposite is actually shown when she scolds him).
In Crowfeather’s Trial, Crowfeather is pushed to recognize his anger towards his son and apologize for his behavior towards him and Nightcloud. Even in an entire book from Crow’s perspective (which provides opportunity for memories, flashbacks, etc), there is no indication that Nightcloud actually pushed Breezepelt to hate Crowfeather. There’s a throwaway mention that Crowfeather was too strict or too rough with Breezepelt as a kit, but it’s never actually said that Nightcloud told him this/kept him away/etc. (IE: it’s impossible to say if Nightcloud screamed this at him or asked him once to be gentle. We just don’t know!)
With all this said, here’s my take on the dynamic:
Crowfeather was a neglectful father and an inconsiderate mate. The only scene we get where he seems to actually get along with Breezepaw is when he is encouraging him to dislike ThunderClan by feeding into hatred for “mixed blood” cats. In all other scenes, he: 1) ignores his bad behavior, 2) is unnecessarily harsh to him or dismissive of him, 3) questions and undermines him, 4) does not have healthy ways of addressing his poor behavior (IE, he ignores and turns away from him rather than discussing it when all the apprentices are in trouble and the other warriors are scolding them, he flat-out hits Breezepaw at one point after saying nothing to intervene in his rudeness), and 5) blames Nightcloud for their bad relationship. Crowfeather is provided plenty of opportunities to interact with Breezepaw while Nightcloud isn’t present (in fact, Nightcloud shows up very little - most scenes of the family have just Breeze and Crow, there are many books where Nightcloud isn’t even mentioned).
Nightcloud was literally just being a normal mom and was often pushed to feeling jealous around Leafpool, often because Leafpool doesn’t have any boundaries around hinting about loving Crowfeather for some reason. I was actually really shocked by how... absolutely fuckin brazen Leafpool is 24/7 about waltzing up to Crowfeather while his wife is standing right there and going “just so you know......... i miss you........... i’d give my life for you......” It’s just WEIRD. IMO, it’s pretty damn reasonable for that to make Nightcloud irritated! Most of the time, she never actually voices her jealousy, we just know about it because of Jaypaw’s ability. When she does, it’s sometimes done by complimenting someone else or giving credit to another cat, like when Jaypaw saves Breezepaw. There is zero text in the story supporting the idea that Nightcloud was overbearing or that she spoiled him: we have TWO SCENES where she has character moments around this. In the first, she is defending him from Crowfeather’s doubt, and in the second, she is scolding him for being ungrateful to ThunderClan for their help.
Breezepelt was a kid that grew up feeling unloved, unappreciated, and angry and resentful as a result. The Dark Forest, not Nightcloud, fed into this belief, but we also have a whole lot of scenes that show why that feeling of resentment towards Crowfeather is there to begin with.
The final hot take: If you believe Nightcloud ‘spoiled’ Breezepelt or that she was ‘overbearing and possessive’, you need to reread Po3 and OotS. It’s just not there.
(Bonus: I love Leafpool but god, girl, you need to read a room.)
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scuttle-buttle · 3 years
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What's One More?
WC: 3204
Rated: M
Tags: brief mentions of crime/mental illness/child abuse and neglect/substance addiction/theft, fluff, family dynamics, mentions of aging, mentions of difficult pregnancy, softness, anxiety attack
🧠
The harsh vibrating of a phone on the nightstand breaks your slumber. Still half asleep you toss your arm back to thump against your sleeping husband's side. With a groan he answers. You try to settle back into your pillow and the warmth of the blanket. Whoever has the balls to call at this hour has another thing coming - but later because your priority is going back to sleep.
He can't have been on the call more than fifteen seconds before he sits up in bed suddenly, turning on the bedside lamp; his movements grab your attention. You roll over. The light blinds you and you rub at your eyes to adjust. You can't make out what's being said. Looking at the clock to see that it's barely 4 am you know something bad has happened. Quietly you slip out from the covers.
Making your way down the hall you peek into your daughter's room, grateful that she's still fast asleep. Her soft snores punctuate the calm. Your nerves abate knowing she’s safe. By the time you get back to the bedroom Laszlo is up and getting dressed. "What's going on?"
He doesn't answer at first. You wait until he's finished buttoning his shirt to ask again. "Sara was called to consult on a triple homicide case - she's asked for me to come down to the police station. I don't know much yet, but it's something involving a young boy and she wants me to speak with him."
“Did he…?”
“No. He was not directly involved, that much we know.”
You nod, leaning against the door frame. This wasn't the first time that Laszlo had been called in by law enforcement and social services to assist with children and teens that needed psychological help. He had become more active around the time you graduated with your doctorate. After Sophia was born Laszlo helped fund an after school program for kids that focused on support for mental health and behavioral issues. He was so passionate about being able to help these kids. But it was never at this ungodly hour. "You'll call or something when you know what's up?" you ask through a yawn.
"Of course, Bärchen." He gives you a chaste peck. Gently he guides you back towards your bed and sits you down. "Go back to sleep, there's no need to worry. I love you." With that he left.
Your sleep is fitful with him gone. You worry over things that you aren't even aware of, over who is hurt, over how severe a situation it could be to have been called in the middle of the night, over the poor boy that needs Laszlo’s help. When your daughter tiptoes into the room around 6 you welcome her into the bed with open arms.
"Why are you up, baby bug?"
"Where's Papa?" She climbs up on his side of the bed and rubs his cold pillow. On her face is a deep frown.
"He had to go help some very important people early this morning. He'll be back to see you soon, I promise."
"I miss him. He always helps me with my shoes."
You can't help the smile that crosses your face. "I know, baby. But it's still early so let's take a nap before we have to get ready, hmm?" The two of you snuggle under the covers. With her curled into your side you do find rest, even for the short time before your alarm chimes.
The day moves sluggish as you wait for word from your husband. Little work was to be done today at the museum, so there wasn't much to keep your mind off the wondering. You considered calling. You considered texting. But you knew that when the time was right he would let you know. No news is good news, you think.
Finally the day came to a close. You picked up Sophia and stopped by the store on the way home to grab supplies for dinner. She insisted that she carry one of the bags inside - little miss independent that she was. “Careful not to drop it, okay? Use those muscles of yours to hold the bag tight.”
“Mama I know, I help Papa carry all the time,” she explains matter-of-factly.
The townhouse is quiet as you begin to unpack. You do a quick glance into the dining room and parlor to no avail. "Laz, honey? You home?" A few seconds later you hear movement from the stairs.
Your husband rounds the corner into the kitchen, swooping down to scoop your daughter into his left arm, peppering her face in exaggerated smooches. Her giggles light up the room from the dim atmosphere. He perches her on his hip. “How was your day my little dove?”
“So good Papa - I practiced my counting today at school. I can get the biggest in the class! Mommy said I must be the most smartest," she prattles on.
“Wunderbar!” he praises her before turning to you. “I didn't hear you come in." Laszlo kisses you.
Pinning him with a look you say "you also didn't call me today? You said you would and I've been worried all day."
Sophia crosses her arms and harrumphs from her father's hip; "me too Papa." He quirks an eyebrow at her before speaking.
"Yes… there is something I wished to speak with you on but didn't think it was suitable for the phone." You raise your own brows but continue to put away groceries. "I do not wish to discuss certain aspects of the case in present company-" he nods towards Sophia minutely "-but we do have a houseguest for the foreseeable future."
"Oh?" Your brows dip in confusion. This is not what you were expecting.
Laszlo peeks around the doorway and calls out "Stevie, would you come join us in the kitchen please."
Stevie? You don't know a Stevie...
A moment later a lanky boy with scruffy dark blond hair shuffles into the room. He can't be anymore than 15. His clothes are too big on him and his shoes are worn beyond belief; nevertheless he gives you a slight smile. “This is Stevie Taggert, he’s going to be staying here with us in the guest room for now.”
“Good evening Mrs. Kreizler,” the boy says nervously, his voice cracking.
You spare a look at your husband before turning to the teenager with a smile. “Ah, no need for that, kid. You can just call me by my name instead. And welcome to our home. You like spaghetti?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Awesome! And I’m certainly not old enough to be a ma’am,” you give him a wink. You set up a pot to boil the water for the pasta. Laszlo excused himself to spend some time with Sophia, leaving you and Stevie in the kitchen.
He clears his throat behind you. “Would um… is there anything I can do to help?”
"I would love that, thank you."
The two of you get to work on making dinner. Stevie doesn’t say too much, but he is very polite and does his best to be useful. Once the food is nearly finished your family has returned ready to eat. You send Stevie and Sophia to set the table.
“Should I be worried?” you ask Laszlo quietly, watching the doorway the two left through.
“I don’t think so. I just felt that I would rather he have a familiar face to adjust with instead of being placed in a group home like many end up.”
You study his face. “You’ve taken a liking to him haven’t you?”
“Well…" his face reddens at your question. "He reminds me a bit of myself when I was his age.” The conversation is cut short by the kids returning.
The rest of dinner and the evening goes smoothly. You make it a point to not bring up any questions that could trigger the teenager, especially before you’ve spoken with Laszlo about the situation at hand. When Stevie nearly eats his weight in pasta you say nothing, wondering how long it's been since he's had a good home cooked meal. He insists on helping clean up the dishes afterwards. Without even knowing what the boy has gone through your heart aches for him.
You set him up in the small renovated basement downstairs while Laszlo puts Sophia to bed. Handing him one of your husband’s old Harvard t-shirts to sleep in you tell him “I’m sorry you’ll be down here by yourself, but if you need us for anything don’t be afraid to come get us - no matter what time it is, okay? And if you get cold there’s an extra blanket right here for you. I know it's July but….” you shrug. “Tomorrow after I get home from work we can go to the store and get you some stuff to use, some more clothes, that kinda thing.”
“Yes ma’am.” At the teasing look you give him his ears burn red with his mumbled “right sorry.”
“Alright Stevie. We’ll see you in the morning, sleep well.”
Laszlo is in bed reading when you enter the room. Nothing is said as you ready yourself for bed. Slipping under the covers you face him. He sighs and closes his book.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I became caught up in the day and only arrived home with Stevie maybe half an hour before you did.” He sighs a second time. “Most of the case I cannot talk about, but what I can say is he was living with his mentally ill father, whom was also an addict. He missed the last few weeks of the school year and has been regularly stealing food to get by. He has no other family. I just… it didn’t feel right to let him process his experiences away from someone properly trained to deal with these sorts of things, in addition to how traumatic entering foster care at his age can be. I spoke with those in social services and was granted temporary custody until we find another more permanent solution.”
“Of course.”
He takes hold of your hand. “You aren’t upset with me?”
“I mean it would’ve been nice to have a bit more warning… but I get it. He can stay as long as he needs to. He’s a sweet kid,” you reassure him. “I told him that I would take him shopping after work tomorrow, so if you could pick up Soph from preschool that would be great.”
“Perhaps instead we can all go? I was thinking that I would bring him to the university with me so that he’s not alone all day. You could get her and then we could meet somewhere, get dinner afterwards?”
You lean closer to him to curl around his arm and rest your head on his shoulder. He always thought so much about others, especially children. Laszlo had such a heart of gold and it honestly left you in awe of just how much he was willing to give so that others could find peace and happiness. Like the older he got the more he had to give. The thought warms you. “How are you literally the best person I know? And to think you used to be so worried about being able to be a good father and now you’re the best of all of us.” He huffs a little as you nuzzle into his chest.
“I have you to thank for that, Bärchen.” He drops a kiss to your head. “But it’s getting late and I’ve been up all day. We should get some sleep.”
Soon after you're both dreaming.
___
Stevie had been with you for three weeks. It only took him a few days to start to settle in, and you discovered that he was quick with his wit and far smarter than he let on. He was a little bit of a sarcastic smart-ass at times, but all in good nature. He was endlessly entertaining. Laszlo sat down with him almost everyday to talk about what he was feeling, the things he experienced, and ways to deal with the loss of his family. Already you both saw improvement.
Even Sophia got on well with him. Most teenage boys wanted nothing to do with little kids, let alone a 4 year old that loved playing 'spaceship barbie'. But not Stevie. On his fifth day you'd found him sat on the floor playing with her and going along with her childlike imagination. When she insisted he play the barbie that needed saving he went along with it, high pitched voice and everything. He even encouraged her to pick up her toys before bed - a feat you and your husband struggled with at times. It struck you how much Stevie became a big brother of sorts to her.
Laszlo grew even more fond of the boy. He wasn't really one for TV, but every evening he sat and watched some show on Netflix about racing with the teen and didn't complain once. Laszlo had tried to explain the role of adrenaline in racing drivers as a psychological function, but Stevie just brushed it off and said it was the driving so fast that made it "cool".
The two did bond over an unlikely subject - punk rock. When you got home from work two weeks into his stay and heard the music blasting in the parlor you worried someone had broken in. Whipping into the room you saw Laszlo in his chair tapping his foot to the intense guitar and singing; Stevie nodded along to the music as he held an old album cover. It didn't take long for Sophia to start jumping along to the music too.
"What is this?" You yelled out over the bass - you couldn't recognize it and it clearly wasn't English.
"Die Toten Hosen, a band I listened to growing up in Germany. Stevie found the record and asked to listen."
"Listen? I think you mean blow out your eardrums!" Even with needing to shout to be heard you had to laugh at the situation. How your husband had a secret love for German punk you'll never know; yet you would never let him live it down.
And when Stevie came and woke you both up in tears three nights ago you made him hot chocolate while Laszlo sat down with him. He confessed that he had never been treated or cared for like he was in your home. How he wished he could stay because he felt wanted. Your heart broke for the boy. To be so young and so lost, craving someone to simply be there for him.
Yet everyday he grew more open. He broke out of his shell. He had goals and ambitions; he wanted to amount to something bigger than he had thought he ever could. It almost shocked you at how much fire was within him.
At how much he fit in with your little family.
At how it was like he was meant to be there.
___
Laszlo was oddly quiet when you got home. Sophia had run off to find Stevie, and you tracked your husband down to his office. He listened as you talked about your day for a good ten minutes; he said almost nothing the whole conversation.
You move closer to him. Placing the back of your hand to his forehead you check to see if he's feverish or sick. He didn't feel warm. "Laz, are you feeling okay?"
He gently pulls your hand down and leaves a kiss on your palm. "The department of social services called this morning to inquire about what we want to do with Stevie. This would be the third time they have asked."
He hadn't mentioned it to you at all that they were calling already. "Okay. What do you think we should do?" You pause for him to continue.
"I told them I would need to speak with you before any further decisions were made regarding him…" His fingers tap against the wood of his desk. "I'm not sure I have an answer for them. Nor for you." He swallows. "I'm afraid of what might become of him should he go into the system. Or that he will not get the support he needs given his past. Any option involving allowing him to stay for a bit longer is a commitment I won't make without your full support, of course. I could never ask that of you." As he speaks you can hear the frustration pouring from him, feel the irritation radiating through the room. "I refuse to give up on him- I- I just don't have the answers on what to do without them hounding me and he deserves better than this, dammit."
"He does… Do you remember on your 50th birthday, what you told me?" Laszlo looks up at you confused. "You said that you had wished you were ten years younger so you had the energy and time to do all of it again. That if you were younger we would've had a whole gaggle of kids - brothers and sisters for Sophia."
"Wishing I was younger doesn't make a difference in helping Stevie-"
"Laszlo - let's adopt him." Your words stop him in his tracks. You had decided not to have any more after your daughter was born. Laszlo was nearing 50 and the pregnancy had been hard on you. But regardless you knew that you both had the means and the love to give another child, probably five or ten more children if you really wanted to. So why not start with one that's already wormed his way in to the family? "I've seen how fond you are of him already. You've taken him under your wing as if he was your own. And how good he is with Sophia? Hell I couldn't ask for a better older sibling for her - and she loves him already. And honestly, Laz, I do too."
"You think we should adopt Stevie?"
"I think we should ask, yeah. He deserves a good home and a strong father figure that's going to put him first. He looks at you like you hung the stars, Laszlo. He needs us, and truthfully I think we need him. So yeah - what's one more added to this little shindig we've got going for us?"
"Have you-"
"-thought it through? Yes. Completely."
You can see the smile he fights to hold back. "We should call tomorrow and see what the protocol is for stating our intent to adopt and getting the paperwork."
"Um…" You shuffle your feet. Nose scrunched, you confess "I may have already called them. On the way from work I asked about what would need to be done if we wanted to pursue that route, but since they already know who we are from you working with them for years it can be fast tracked." You pull him out of his chair to stand before you. "All we have to do is say 'go'."
He has no hesitation.
"Go."
Laszlo doesn't hold back his smile or his laughter as he spins you around his office floor. You're certain your children downstairs can hear your giggles.
Tag list
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124 notes · View notes
221bshrlocked · 3 years
Text
masked in desperation
Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader
Word count: 6044
Warnings: Verbal Degradation. Physical Humiliation involving Din making reader wet herself. Dirty Talk. Penetrative, Non-Protective Sex (wrap the shlong before you king kong por favor). Rough then Soft Din. Don't worry, this is consensual and there is aftercare involved.
No summary because I don't even know what to call this? All you guys need to know is that this fic is based on/inspired by the following asks [x] [x] [x] [x]
A/N: Uhhh this is new for me so I'm sorry if I didn't get the dynamic involved with a humiliation kink right. Please let me know how I could correct anything should there be something off. This was supposed to be rougher...but I turned soft midway because nervous Din makes me warm. I hope you like it nonetheless though. Comments are hella appreciated. And you can add yourself to the taglist here. Enjoy and please don't @ me once you finish this fic. And I apologize that it took long, this semester was hell.
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It was an act of crazed desire concealed beneath irritation and anger, irritation with you for managing to claw yourself into his heart and anger at himself for allowing you to do so freely. He couldn't deny his feelings anymore, not if he wanted to retain whatever sanity he had left around you. What started out as nothing but stress relief and a way to help with the pain left behind by Grogu leaving turned into Din wishing he could stake his claim on you every moment of every day so you wouldn't seek anyone else out. Not that he genuinely believed you would. Still...
And it wasn't like this was any different from what the two of you usually do. At least that's what he says to excuse his twisted behavior, to not dwell too much on his sick, possessive fantasies.
It was driving him mad. He wanted to mark you up, always did during those passionate nights, loved watching as you tried, and failed, to cover up his love bites and handprints from the guild members. But he also craved to feel the same way. He wanted to bear traces of you on him so people knew how much he cared for you, perhaps even recognized the hold you have on him. The only problem was, no one would ever see the angry nail scratches and bite marks you left every night on his skin because of his beskar. So this, this would do the trick, even if it was barely noticeable, even if it would be gone when he washed his beskar, even if the two of you would be the only ones who knew what happened behind closed doors.
The weird thing was, he doesn't even know how he got to this point. Well, that's not true. He can actually trace his way to this moment, but he feels ashamed to do so? Reluctant maybe. It didn't matter what he was feeling at this point. All he knew was that he needed to watch you as you humiliated yourself in front of him, and had no power to do anything about it. Perhaps it was because, deep down, he wanted to show you that he'd accept you no matter what. He wanted to prove to you that he may just be worthy of having you in his arms. He wanted to assure you that he would be committed to you until his dying breath. And this, in some way, was the solution.
Before he can reevaluate and dwell too much on his decision, he fills a cup with water and heads towards you, ignoring the Marshal's glances as he approaches you and taps on your shoulders.
"Yeah?" You turn around, and Din forces himself to stand his ground when he sees your smile growing wider as you take the water from his hand. "Oh aren't you sweet. Careful, or else they'll think you're growing soft." You tease him as you down the cup of water and hand it back to him before returning to fixing the ship. He says nothing as he walks back towards the cantina, and resumes his quiet meditation.
And that's how it goes for the next couple of hours. He brings you a cup of water every so often, murmuring something or other about how he doesn't have time to take care of you if you suffered from a heat stroke before leaving immediately. Din quietly thanks the maker for your discomfort with public refreshers, because this plan wouldn't have worked if you decided to go to the cantina or elsewhere to relieve yourself. He's locked his ship's refresher and made sure to not be anywhere in sight when you sought him out to ask about the issue with the door.
He feels himself grow harder when he notices you squirming as you work on the ship, softly palming himself through his pants when you halt your movements every couple of minutes to either cross your legs or push your hand between your thighs to attempt and alleviate some of that pain. A part of him feels horrible for putting you through this, but something tells him it will be worth it in the end. Din Djarin isn't a man of prayer, but he pleads to whatever higher power that created you that this wouldn't backfire and make you leave him.
As the twin suns slowly set beneath the sky, Din moves away from where he's been hiding and heads towards the ship, making sure he is in your line of sight as he walks up the ramp and towards his armory. He quickly takes out the durasteel cuffs from where he's set them, hiding them behind his back as he pretends to head towards the cockpit.
However, he stops when he sees you rushing past him and setting all of your tools aside. You're mumbling angrily beneath your breath when things begin to fall over, growling when you try to fix them a couple of more times, and they continue to fall.
"Motherfucking shit," Din hears you swear as you carelessly try to set the box again and it falls over. Shaking your head, you turn around and sprint past him again towards the refresher. His eyes never leave your shaking form as you push on the refresher button numerous times and nothing happens.
"Pfassk! Din, how angry would you be if I broke this fucking door right now?" You try to grab the gun on his holster but he is quicker than you, slamming his hand on your own to prevent you from taking it.
"Extremely." His answer is short and straight to the point, mostly because he can't trust himself to respond to you without giving himself away.
"God please I- I need..." You hesitate and try to remove your hand from him, only to feel his hold tighten around your wrist. He thought you'd break and confess what you needed to do due to your desperation, but you don't, holding your tongue and looking up at him quizzically when he removes your wrist and clasps one side of the cuff on them.
"Din, what- what're you doing?" You look down and watch as he clasps the cuffs on your other wrist and ensures that they aren't too tight around your wrists before he locks them. Before you can ask him again, Din drags you across the ship and into the cockpit, ignoring your annoyed murmurs as he sits down and pulls you onto his lap.
You squirm around and try to get up but Din’s hold on your waist tightens and he slides you against his beskar until you fall into his chest. He says nothing as you push away and try to maneuver yourself so your legs aren’t wide open. He chuckles lowly when he sees how much you’re struggling, finally allowing you to put some space between the two of you. You rest your back against the controls board and take a few deep breaths before you stare at him.
“Can you please let me go?” You ask patiently, and hope he sees how genuine and serious you’re being. When he sits back but keeps his hold on you, you know he isn’t going to make this easy.
“Why?”
“Because I- I need to take care of something,” you look away when you respond and Din feels his cock twitch in his pants at the sudden shyness taking over.
“How about you let me take care of you?” He takes his gloves off and throws them aside, smiling to himself when he sees you shiver as he moves his hands up and down your body. You watch him like a hawk and you feel yourself growing wet for a moment, but you realize this reaction is the last thing you want to experience in his presence right now.
“Wait Din- just...it’s not like that.” You bite your lower lip and stifle a moan when he cups your tits and softly flicks at your hardened nipples.
“No? And yet here you are melting at my touch...your body knows me mesh’la, it’s blooming for me and I’ve barely touched you. Sweet girl, don’t you want me to make you feel good? I’ve been thinking about you all day long, about kissing you until you’re breathless...and biting you until you have my mark everywhere. Don’t you want me to show you just how much I’ve missed you?” Din knows he’s not being fair but the way your eyes are glowing with lust is enough to ground him so he could carry out his plan.
“I- I do...fuck, Din- I really do. I barely think of anything else...but I really need to-” You shut your eyes and groan as soon as you feel Din’s hand descend down your chest and rest on your lower stomach. He supports your back as he slowly begins to push against your navel, watching with fascination as your face contorts from pain and pleasure the harder he pushes on your muscles. You’re not sure what’s happening for a few seconds until you manage to open your eyes and look at him. His visor prevents you from seeing what he’s thinking but none of it matters when you feel him shift underneath you before he eases up. You sigh in relief but Din repeats his actions, only this time, he’s becoming a little more aggressive with his touches.
"N-no wait please I-"
"What's the matter mesh'la? You're usually fucking me like a loth-cat in heat by now, begging for me to have my way with you...take what I want until you feel properly fucked and filled with my cum." Din leans forward, never once easing up as he begins to move you over his beskar-clad thigh. There’s not much you can do due to the cuffs and how much advantage Din has over you in terms of muscle and size so you do the only thing that’s left.
You beg.
"Please, please Din I- I just...I need to-" It takes every ounce of control not to let go of your body’s function and you realize you’re not making much sense when Din cuts you off again and asks you what you want.
"Need to what? Go on sweet girl, tell me. What do you need?" His motions become more rough as he alternates between shoving his hand against your bladder and moving your clothed heat across his thigh. Din wants nothing more than to push you to the floor and fuck you until you can’t remember anything but him, but he tries his best to keep himself in check until he gets what he wants.
"I'll do anything Din just...need the- the refresher. I'm so- so...maker, please wait-" The controls dig into your back the more you lay on them but you can’t find it in yourself to care because a different kind of pain shoots down your spine when Din brings you closer to him and hikes your shirt up. His palms are warm against your skin and you hate how good they feel because this was not how you saw the day going with him.
"You know the safeword. Say it if you want me to let you go and I will." His tone shifts and you throw all caution aside as you confess to him why you need to leave.
"Din please...I really need to pee. I- I'll come back right away but I- oh it's too much, t-too much." You think he’s going to apologize and let you go when you tell him but all your admission does is cause him to momentarily stop before he wraps his arms around you and stands up. He’s pushing you up against the wall, not caring for what you just said to him or how rough he’s being as he nudges his leg in between your thighs and resumes his antics from before.
"I know."
The curt response washes over you like ice and your eyes begin to water as soon as Din takes off his helmet and you see him smiling down at you. You don’t know that you’re shaking in his arms but he leans down and nuzzles into the crook of your neck to commit the moment to memory. He loves the effect he’s having on you and although a small part of him feels bad, he doesn’t bother or care to hold back as he brings himself flush against you, the action causing his beskar to push deeper against your navel and have his desired effect.
"Din?" He thinks your whimpers might make him cum right then and there but he takes a deep breath before he pulls away and looks down at you. He’s sure that his eyes don’t convey an ounce of guilt at the moment, the opposite actually, and it only brightens his smile as he pulls down your tank top strap far enough to give him access to the top of your breasts. Din moves closer to you and lays lazy kisses across your heated skin, all the while attempting to grab your attention so he could tell you what he wanted.
"Why do you think I kept handing you water all day ner ka'rta?"
"W-wha-?" Your sniffles pull at his heart but he knows that you’re not in any physical danger and that all you need to do is whisper your safeword and he’d let you go. When a tear drop trails down your chin and hits his forehead, Din has to pull away to take a better look at you. He hates how much he loves the way you’re looking at him right now, like he’s simultaneously a villain and a savior to your predicament.
"And who do you think locked the refresher? Sweet girl… I thought you were smarter than that." Your surprised gasp adds more to the innocence he’s seeing in you and it’s the last straw before he holds onto your waist and begins to move you across his thigh again.
"You what?"
“Go on pretty, I know how much you’re trying to hold it in. ‘m not letting you go any time soon,” Din talks down at you and if you weren’t trying to prevent yourself from embarrassing yourself in front of him, you’d think it was the sexiest tone he’s had with you yet. But it’s getting more difficult to control your bladder and even though you get the sense that he will probably win in the end, you still try to hold off as much as possible.
“Look at you trying so hard...prettiest fucking sight in the galaxy. And do you know what makes it even better? I can smell how much you want me...this tight, wet cunt is begging for my cock. You can have me sweetheart, you can have me right now if you want. But you know what you have to do.” You’re shaking in his arms and plead pathetically when he applies more pressure on your navel. You try to ask him why again but you can’t find the words and resume moaning his name as he uses you.
And that’s what he’s doing. He’s using you. Like he owns you. Like he has the right to control every muscle in your body. You’re not sure what it is that made him act like this all of a sudden and you know it ultimately doesn’t matter because like he said, he won’t be stopping any time soon. It’s just strange that he wants this. He wants you to embarrass yourself. He’s practically helping your body let loose so you could wet yourself. You try to convince yourself that nothing about this should be turning you on, but the way his eyes are hazed with lust and desperation makes you reevaluate your thoughts and you manage to look up at him as he begins to speak again.
“It’s okay mesh’la, you can let go. Let go, now! Make a mess sweetheart. Make a mess of me, I won’t fuck you till you ruin my beskar and make this ship dirty. Go on. Or do you want me to help you again?” Din isn’t sure what’s come over him but he doesn’t hold back anymore, slipping his hand underneath your pants and pushing hard on your bladder until he feels your thighs squeeze around him.
“D-din fuck...oh- my...maker I- I can’t-” You throw your head back as you fist your hands into his cowl, holding on to that last bit of self control before you’re no longer able to. As he lifts his hand and pushes again, the thread breaks and tears slowly roll down your cheeks as you frown up at Din when your bladder gives out. Din looks into your eyes one last time before his attention moves south and his jaw clenches tightly when he notices the material of your pants grow darker the more you relieve yourself.
He doesn’t bother to stop, continuing to apply pressure on your lower stomach as a day’s worth of water floods down your legs and onto his beskar. He watches with fascination as his pants grow wet as well before he hears the faint sound of droplets falling onto his ship. You follow his line of sight and whimper in embarrassment when you notice just how big of a mess you made. There’s a small puddle forming where the two of you are standing and your nervousness only grows when you see how wet Din’s pants are.
When there’s nothing left and your shaking subsides a little, Din removes his hand from you and returns it to your waist, squeezing the skin he has access to so he wouldn’t strip you and fuck you in the middle of your mess. Every time he moves his foot, he can hear the soft splashing sound of the puddle underneath him and it only makes him harder. When he finally looks at you, he’s met with the most vulnerable expression he’s ever seen on you and although he wants nothing more than to kiss you and apologize, he allows himself to go just a little further until he sees you’re no longer able to put up with him.
“D-din...you- you made me, I-”
“Oh sweet girl, I made you do nothing.” The look of shock on your face is worth the hassle and he watches as you pout your lower lip before more tears leave your gorgeous eyes.
“You’re just a filthy girl, wetting yourself in the middle of my ship and not caring how dirty you’ve become...you really couldn’t hold it in cyar’ika? Look at this, look at the mess you made of my armor. You know how valuable beskar is and yet you pissed all over it. And my ship!? Didn’t we just clean this ship pretty?” Din could feel you melting into him with every word that passes through his lips and when you look away from him, his smile falls and he quickly grabs your neck, turning it straightforward so he could look into your eyes.
“No, you don’t get to look away from me when you’ve just pissed all over yourself and me. Maybe I should change your name, call you ad’ika from now on.” He has to hold back from smiling when he sees the moment you recognize the word. He’s only ever used that word whenever he talked with Grogu and you knew exactly why he was bringing it up now. “You’re my little girl aren’t you? My filthy, pretty little ad’ika who can’t fucking control herself and marked me up like she has the right...like she owns me.” Din watches as your expression softens a bit at his last admission and he trails his gaze down your nose until he is only focusing on your lips.
You can’t help but also stare at his lips and Din uses the brief moment of distraction to unbutton your pants and slip his hand into your panties, humming in approval when he feels the wet fabric scratch deliciously at his knuckles. You gasp when you feel his fingers softly rubbing your slit and as you look into his dark brown eyes, Din slips two fingers into your wet cunt and stops.
“Fuck, you’re so wet ad’ika, so warm and wet and ready for me.” He nudges his fingers deeper into he finds the spot that makes you see stars. You know immediately what he wants to do and reach for his arms as he grows closer to you. When they begin to get in the way, Din takes hold of the cuffs and raises them high above your head until the cuffs are glued to the wall. He can’t stop from smiling down at you, all stretched out and ready to be thoroughly fucked. But he doesn’t give in just yet.
“Din it’s...you’ll get dirty. I- I don’t want you to-”
“I don’t fucking care,” he growls as he leans down and bites shoulder again, moaning against your skin when he feels your cunt clench around him. “That’s it, open up for me...let me make you feel good. I- I want you to scream my name sweetheart, scream my name as you make a mess of me. Please...I need it, need- maker...need you to drench me again.” His words twist something inside of you and you lean back as he moves his thick fingers in and out of you until you feel that familiar pressure all over again.
“Oh Din...your fingers f-feel so- so good.”
“That’s right ad’ika, only I get to touch you. Only I get to watch you come undone...only I get to wear your scent, your beautiful fucking wet scent. I- I won’t wash this armor sweet girl, not when you’ve marked it...marked me, this much. Go on, be a good girl and make a mess of me. Let me walk around with the smell of you etched on my fucking beskar.” You whimper at the filthy whispers Din breathes against you and just as you’re about to come, Din grabs your pants along with your damp panties and pushes them as far down as he could. You bite into your lower lip as he tries to push his digits deeper into you, and when you finally manage to turn and look at him, you hold your breath as you see the way he’s looking at you, into you.
“Cum for me. Now.”
The quiet order, along with the pace of his touches, breaks you and you force yourself to not shut your eyes as your pussy throbs around his fingers, a wave of euphoria washing over you so swiftly you think you’ll faint. Din momentarily turns his attention to your heat once again and he hisses when he feels you coming on his hand just as you squirt on his beskar and the floor of the ship. You’re unable to form a coherent sentence as Din refuses to slow down and your eyes water again when the hold he has on your waist becomes more painful than before.
“Maker...you’re perfect.” Din kisses your neck as he finally decides to slow down but the way he continues to rub your clit with his palm does little to calm your nerves and you don’t realize how much you’re shaking until everything quiets down and all that you can hear is the sound of Din’s heavy breathing and your own heaving and sniffling. You wince when he fully removes his hand from you and helps you out of your pants and shoes. He takes a step back and groans when he sees how spent and ruined you look as you stand on your tiptoes and try to calm down.
As you try to catch your breath, Din unlocks both cuffs and throws them aside, reaching down and grabbing your ass so he could support your weight against him. You jump on instinct and moan when you feel the cold beskar against your skin as Din grinds into your soaked heat. He doesn’t waste another moment, diving in and claiming your lips until he could feel your teeth nipping at his tongue. He makes sure he has a good grip on you before he moves to the refresher and as soon as the two of you are standing in front of it, he pushes a code into the pad and unlocks the door. You pull away for a moment to look into his eyes, the silence of your gaze knocking the breath out of him as you hide into his neck. It takes but a second for Din to realize that he shouldn’t try to push your limits any further for the night.
His touches grow softer as he carefully sets you down on the floor of the refresher. Din can see you’re shivering from the cold room and makes quick work of his clothes and armor, choosing to leave his boxer briefs on so you wouldn’t think of anything else. He leans down and taps twice on your shoulders so you could raise them above your head. As you do, you look everywhere else but him and the gesture is a little too raw for Din because as he strips you down to nothing, he’s leaning down and kissing your forehead until he feels you relax in his arms.
When he’s satisfied with your slowing heart rate, he stands up and turns on the water, making sure to stand in front of you and block you from the cold water until it turns warm. Even though he doesn’t particularly enjoy it, he turns the hot water just a little further, knowing how much you preferred it when it struck your skin.
Grabbing the bar of soap you bought from the last hunt, Din sits down and rests his back against the cold metal of the wall before pulling you towards him.
“Come to me mesh’la.” His voice is much more controlled and mellow than minutes before and you melt back into him as soon as his skin comes into contact with yours. You rest your back against his shoulder and sigh heavily when his hands begin to massage your arms. The scent of flowers hits your nostrils in seconds, making you relax even more as the soap washes away any trace of what you and Din had just done.
Din kisses your shoulder and neck as he rubs the soap on your chest and stomach, keeping his touches as appropriate as possible to distract himself from the hardening issue he was struggling with. Although he prefers you all sweaty and dirty, he makes sure to wash every inch of you, knowing that you probably needed to feel clean after...after what he’s done.
He pushes your back until you’re leaning forward far enough for him to wash your back as well. His breath hitches when he sees evidence of his touches on your skin from previous nights. Some of them have turned a light blue color while others were still purple.
Fuck. He didn’t know his grip was this harsh. He was a little guilty for bruising your skin, your lovely, beautiful, gorgeous skin. But the more he saw as he rubbed the soap over your back, the more pride he felt in his chest at the knowledge that he was the only one allowed to mark you.
“D-din…” You moan his name when he pulls you back into his chest and you feel his hands descend lower to wash your thighs. You think that he’s going to touch you where you ache for him but when he focuses on your thighs, you realize that he wasn’t going to go anywhere near your throbbing cunt.
“I’m here sweet girl, let me take care of you.” His whispers are laced with promises and affection and you’re not sure what to make of it. He’s never been this intense, this touch-starved, even this controlling. There’s something about the events of the night that tug at your heart and you wish you could ask him what has changed all of a sudden. But you don’t, instead repeating his words from earlier over and over again as he continues to wash you.
He told you, although indirectly, that you had the right to...to mark him, to own him. He begged you to drench him so everyone would know that he’s yours. That you’re his.
“Din please,” overcome with emotions, you slap the bar of soap away from him and use his surprise to your advantage, quickly turning around and holding onto his broad shoulders as you straddled his thighs.
“Ner ka'rta, we don’t have t-” Din keeps his hands to himself as he feels you rub yourself on his clothed cock. You instantly cut him off, molding your lips with his in a bruising kiss until his arms wrapped around your back. When you knew you had him, you pulled away and laid kisses across his handsome features. He was a moaning mess in no time and when you took hold of his chin and pushed it back, Din felt like he was travelling through the stars, the rough nips you were leaving across the jugular of his neck making him notice just how needy you were.
The hot water cascaded down your back as you assaulted Din’s skin and when you felt him grab your waist and begin to move you across of him, you knew he wasn’t going to deny you from what you wanted. Needed. Craved.
“I need you...now, please Din. I need to feel you inside me.”
“But-”
“Please? Oh maker, I- you said...you said you’d give me your cock if I wanted. And I do. I want you, I want your cock. I- you promised. I- I’ll do anything.” The sound of your desperate pleas sends a shiver down his spine and Din nods frantically just before you pull him out of his briefs.
“You- you’ve done enough for me cyar’ika. So so much. And I- I...oh-” Din throws his head back and shuts his eyes as soon as you lower yourself on his hard cock. He thinks he’s going to cum right then and there, but then you’re moving on top of him and squeezing him so tightly and he realizes that he needed to feel more of you. You cry out his name over and over again as he twitches against your tight walls, and when his eyes snap wide open and look at you, you can’t help but lean forward and bite into his shoulder to keep some semblance of control.
“S-sweet girl...lovely girl, tell me you’re mine.”
The short request causes you to falter in your pace but Din decides to take over again, wrapping his arms around you as he begins to move you on top of him.
“I- I’m yours Din, I’m yours. No one else can fuck me like you, n-no one can kiss me and touch me and take care of me like you...gods, you’re amazing. And you’re mine,” Din groans when he hears the last of your words and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck as you continue to whisper sweet things to him.
“You hear that Din...you’re mine. You- you belong to me, you touch only me...you, oh maker, you fuck only me. This cunt is yours baby and your cock was made for it. Made for me. You l-love only me. Right Din? P-please I’m...already so close. Tell me Din because you know...know that I love you. I love you. No one else. J-just you-”
Din is sure he might be suffocating you with how hard he’s hugging you right now but he doesn’t seem to notice because all he can hear is your declarations of love and commitment. Neither of you have ever come close to being this intimate but his earlier actions apparently unlocked something in the two of you.
You loved him. Even though he could be kinder, and was definitely too broken. You still loved him.
“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. P-pfassk...I love you mesh’la. Only you...always you.” Din comes with a cry when he feels your nails digging into his back and he growls as his cock throbs inside you until he’s filled you with his cum. But he doesn’t stop, instead maintaining his pace just to see you fall apart one last time. It’s all too much and not enough, and he’s already oversensitive from coming but he has only himself to blame considering how much he edged himself the entire day. When he hears your gasps turn quieter, he knows you’re close and slithers his hand between your bodies to flick your clit. You moan into his shoulder as you quickly peak one last time, the touch of his fingers reminding you of what he’s done earlier and in a matter of seconds, you’re clenching around him so hard to the point where you’re not sure if you’re experiencing pain or pleasure.
Neither of you say anything as you slowly return to yourselves. When Din moves to try and turn the water off, you accidentally dig your nails deeper into his shoulder and make him hiss.
“S-sorry.” The small apology does something to Din and he decides that he needs to do this now and not when the two of you are in his cot. Twisting his hand into your hair, Din pulls it back until you’re forced to look at him. You stare at each other for what feels like hours before you lean forward and kiss him. It’s much slower and kinder than the earlier kisses and you smile when Din unintentionally thrusts into you. He pulls away and returns your expression when he sees how genuine it is.
“I think I should be the one apologizing ad’ika.”
You know what he’s referring to and you think that perhaps he’s beginning to feel more guilt at what he’s done but you brush it aside with a joke so he knew there was nothing of concern.
“Not sure what you’re talking about Din,” you leave a quick peck on his nose as you rest your cheek on his chest and hug him tightly. He recognizes what you’re doing right away and decides to not fight you, instead maneuvering you off of him to shut the water off. You try to stand but your legs give out immediately. Forutrantly for you, Din is there to catch you and he ignores your complaints as he carries you out of the refresher and into his room. You watch as he brings two towels and proceeds to dry you off, handing you the other one to dry your hair. You giggle when he almost stubs his toe as he comes back with a set of new clothes.
Din ignores your comments when you ask him why he was handing you one of his long sleeve shirts instead of your own, quickly putting on a pair of boxers before throwing the towels back into the refresher. When he comes back, you’re already comfortable and warm in his bed, the sight of you sniffing his pillows causing him to think of a multitude of thoughts. He brushes them all aside when you make room for him and ask him to come to you.
As he slithers underneath the covers, you waste no time and move closer to him until you’re sure you’re touching every inch of his skin.
“Are you okay mesh’la?” Although you know what he’s referring to by that question, you don’t bring up the topic, instead nuzzling into his chest. The sigh of content you hear tells you that he’s not overthinking what happened too much, and it signals for you to do the same because even though you never expected the day’s events, you can’t help but admit to yourself that one thing which you know Din will bring up when the two of you have properly rested.
As strange and sudden as it was, Din’s treatment of you turned you on.
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Translations:
Mesh'la - beautiful
Cyar'ika - beloved
Ad'ika - little one
Ner ka'rta - my heart or my soul
Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum - I love you
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Pedro Pascal (and any of his characters):
@pastel-0-princess @feelmyroarrrr @libbymouse @its--fandom--darling @spideysimpossiblegirl @princess76179 @cheekygeek05 @miraclesoflove @purple-mango @freeshavocadoooo @metalarmsandmanbuns @acthenerd @greeneyedblondie44 @cannedsoupsucks @purplepascal042 @talesfromtheguild @f0rever15elf @vibin-hippie @onesmokinbabe @leaiorganas @words-way-of-life @kideyz @lovesickmadsadpoet @niall7inches @rosiefridayrogersunday @tati-adventures @sleep-tight1 @itsfreeekinbats @cybergroupie @marsplsstop @ezrasbirdie @diogodxlot @janebby @juletheghoul @bii-aan-ckaa @nohartandsole @djjarins @lamelyssher @giselatropicana @pescopadral @blackmarketmummy @laviipopii @ew-erin @fan-of-encouragement @melody13522 @clydesducktape @planetariumx @sambucky21 @thirddeadlysin @leannawithacapitala @fangirl-316 @thou-creature-of-the-deep
Din Djarin: @a--1--1--3 @tanzthompson @mrs-ghuleh @caitlynmarty
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yamalegacy · 3 years
Note
prompt eleven with mirko 😳
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i've already done 11 with midnight but idc, i love buff bunny too much not to do it! and well, considering how it aligns with the godly possessive!rumi hcs, it's way too tempting anyway! so here goes!
prompt: #11 from this list  “I bet you think you’re real cute letting them put their hands all over you. We’ll see how cute you look later when I get you home.”
pairing: mirko (usagiyama rumi) x gn!reader
cw: SMUT. afab reader. rumi is a possessive bunny. brat!reader. dom/sub dynamic. hair pulling, spanking, dirty talking, slight degradation & praise kink (yes, both at the same time, don’t underestimate rumi), fingering, strapon, slight anal fingering. oh boy this really is the filthiest thing i’ve written in a loooong time.
word count: about 3,7k words WOPS I GOT CARRIED AWAY
⚠️ MDNI reminder for minors to not interact with this post ⚠️
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   Your phone buzzes exactly seven minutes after you started a conversation with Keigo— he insists you call him Keigo, because Hawks is too professional and Takami is too formal, his own words. Seven whole minutes (yes, you’ve been keeping an eye on the time during the whole conversation). It’s over six minutes later than you’d expected, really. It buzzes again almost immediately, and you make a point to ignore your phone for a bit as you glance at Rumi, on the other side of the bar, over the rim of your glass.
When she arcs an eyebrow at you, visibly losing her patience, you give all your attention to Keigo again and offer him a smile before pulling your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans to check the messages you’ve no doubt received from the Rabbit Hero.
fluffy butt 🐇🤍
i bet you think you’re real cute letting him put his hands all over you we’ll see how cute you look later when i get you home
It’s almost disappointing how predictable she is with these things. Almost. Rumi is way too hot when she gets jealous for it to actually be disappointing. You want to remind her that she is the one who invited you to that bar and who left you alone to get drinks, that she is the one who got distracted by a conversation with Ryukyu, but you decide to leave her on read and see what happens.
From where you stand, you can see Rumi’s internal struggle not to just abruptly cut Ryukyu in the middle of what she is saying so that she can get right between you and Keigo. It’s quite the amusing sight, from her flattened ears to her thumping foot, her attitude reeks of frustration. You can’t help but wonder what will tick her off so much that she will intervene — Keigo has only touched you shoulder and given your arm a light squeeze and Rumi is already seething, so it seems likely just about anything would set her off.
“I can hear her thump from here,” Keigo comments, a lazy smile adorning his lips. “I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to murder me yet.”
You chuckle at his words.
“I think she’s trying to see whether or not looks can kill.”
He leans closer to you (and you know it’s much too closer to Rumi’s standards because you can smell the minty alcohol on his breath), “I sure hope looks can kill. It’d be a lot less painful than her foot up my— well, wherever she fancies shoving it, I guess.”
You don’t even have time to give him a reaction that you can hear heavy footsteps approaching, so you lean away from Keigo just enough to properly look at your girlfriend as she marches over to you. It’s only now that she is right here that you notice she’s opened her leather jacket, revealing one of her favorite crop tops — black, sinfully tight and exposing just the right amount of cleavage and abs to make your mouth water. 
God, her skin always looks so tempting, you want to reach out, to put a hand on her waist, under her jacket, but she grabs you by the wrist before you can even try to move a muscle. Her eyes are fixed on you, and, to your surprise, she doesn’t even acknowledge Keigo.
“We’re leaving,” she says, her tone stern.
“Rumi... it’d be rude to leave so early,” you tell her, smiling at her with all the innocence you can muster (enough to fool anyone who doesn’t know you well), “and you are the one who wanted us to come here in the first pl—”
“We’re leaving. I remembered I have something to do.”
You want to push, to tease, to see how far she’ll go, so even if her tone leaves no room for argument, you open your mouth again.
“But you—”
“Now.”
She tugs are your arm and you follow as she takes a first few steps away from Keigo, only to turn around and face him.
“I hope you choke on your fucking feathers, birdy.”
“Always nice to talk to you, Usagiyama,” he simply smirks and gives her a small wave of his hand, “and I hope something,” he glances at you, “will enjoy getting done.”
Rumi doesn't give you any time to say goodbye to him, or to any of her hero friends, and she drags you out of the bar, heading straight for her car. She doesn't even let you register how forceful she is being that you've already been shoved in the passenger seat.
The ride home is short (too short; Rumi drives way too fast for a Pro Hero who is supposed to set an example for those around her) and awfully quiet. She didn't even look at you, didn't glance your way at least once like she usually does. Rumi's ears are still flattened in annoyance when she opens the door of her house to push you inside.
She kicks off her sneakers and takes off her leather jacket to leave it on the back of chair, then heads to the couch, sitting down nonchalantly, arms crossed under her chest in a way that pushes up her tits. All you can do is stare, unable to form a coherent thought as you settle down next to her.
“You had fun flirting with Big Bird, baby?” she asks, and the question would be innocent enough if you didn't know your girlfriend better.
You move so that you're facing Rumi on the couch, your knee bumping into a strong thigh — and maybe, for a moment, you get briefly distracted by the thought of these rippling muscles on either side of your head.
“Come on, Rumi, you know there was no actual flirting. We were just having fun.”
She leans closer to you, invading your personal space, face so close to yours that all you can see in the harsh coldness in her eyes. You barely have time to blink that one of her hands is at the back of your head, her grip on your hair surprisingly gentle.
“Oh, because you think I don’t know what little game you were playing with him there?” she is nearly snarling at you, and this time, her grip on your hair tightens, deliciously painful, and she tugs. “Why do you think I waited so long to grab you, uh?”
So, she knew? The whole time you spent talking with Keigo, flirting with him and allowing him to flirt to get a reaction from her, she knew? And it still didn't stop her from getting jealous and acting possessive in the middle of a bar, surrounded by numerous other Pro Heroes.
Her grip on your hair tightens once more and she brings you closer to her body.
"I just wanted to see how far you'd take your little game," she explains, words nearly spat through her gritted teeth. "But I couldn't take it anymore. You're mine, understood?" she asks, but the way she pulls at your hair clearly tells you that she expects no reply.
"I thought we agreed that I was my own person?" you smirk, even as she yet again tugs at your hair. "We said we don't own each other even if we're dating, didn't we?"
It is true, it's something you've talked about pretty early in your relationship together, after Rumi admitted that she could get jealous easily, but hated that she got jealous. It led to conversation about acting possessive during sex and marking, and you know that's what Rumi is going on about right now, and not some sort of ownership that she'd have over you because she is your girlfriend. But you can't help it, can't help wanting to push all her buttons and see what kind of punishment it earns you.
"You're playing smartass with me now, uh?"
She tugs at your hair again, forcing your head back slightly, but you hold eye contact, refusing to let her get the submission that she wants from you just now. You've already earned yourself a punishment, might as well make the most of it, right?
"I would never."
You smile innocently and bat your eyelashes at her, even if the pain tickling your scalp is starting to blur your sight.
She lets go of your hair without saying anything, and for just a second, you think she might be too annoyed with your act and drop the issue entirely to move on and do whatever she feels like doing for the rest of the night. But she wraps her strong fingers around your wrist and pulls, her free hand pressing harshly between your shoulder blades to push you down onto her lap, face into the couch cushion and ass up, perched over her thighs.
Well, shit.
The first spank comes unexpectedly fast and hard, you have no time to brace yourself for the impact, and your jeans do little to absorb the shock and the pain spreading through your cheek.
“Shit!” you groan through gritted teeth, trying your best not to get too loud, which is most likely exactly what Rumi wants right now.
“Got something to say, baby?” Rumi asks, and you can hear the smirk in her voice.
“Nope. All good,” you mumble.
A second slap comes, matching the first one in speed and strength, leaving your ass numb from the pain. If there’s one thing you can never expect from your girlfriend, it’s for her to go easy on you.
“All good, you said?”
“Yup,” you whimper pathetically, your voice having none of the bite you wish for. Two spanks, and Rumi already has you trembling over her lap, it’s ridiculous, but you should have seen it coming, really.
She spanks you again, twice, and takes the time to brush the palm of her hand over your sore cheeks, the gesture almost soothing. She repeats the movements again, and again, before stopping to give your ass a squeeze. With each spank, you pant, forcing yourself to swallow the moans that threaten to fall past your lips.
“You’re taking your punishment really well today, baby. Trying to be good for me?” she teases, her hand now comfortably lodged between your thighs, too close to your aching core and yet not nearly close enough.
“Or maybe you’re not hitting as hard as you think you are.”
You aren't sure why you said that, aren't sure what you're doing right now, all you know is that it's dangerous because you're just provoking Rumi — it's always a recipe for disaster in the end.
She doesn't spank you though, but she snakes a hand between her lap and your stomach, pressing her fingers into your skin and pushing up until you put your weight on your knees and lift yourself up enough for her to get access to the button of your pants. Rumi hooks her fingers at the hem of your jeans and tugs, dragging them down your thighs along with your underwear.
She doesn't give you time to adapt to the cool air against your exposed bottom, doesn't let you collect your thoughts or even take a breath, before she is spanking you again. She marks no pause between each strike, just spanks and spanks and spanks. Lost in the rapid fire of her assault on your sensitive ass, you can't stop yourself from moaning — and that's when she pauses.
“Did my baby just moan?”
You stubbornly refuse to respond, clenching your jaw. You know a spank is coming, but you still aren’t ready for the pain.
“It’s okay to admit that you’re just a slut, desperate for me to touch you,” she coos, her calloused fingers gently brushing the raw skin of your ass. “Even if I’m just spanking you, you want me to touch you, don’t you? Because you’re a needy little whore for me, uh?”
Her words cause a shiver to run down your spine, straight to your core, but you press your thighs together and bit your tongue. You’re well aware what she wants you to do, what she wants you to say, but you don’t want to give it to her today. You’ve decided to play, and you won’t back down just because she’s spanking your ass raw. At your stubborn silence, she all but growls in your ear, her annoyance obvious as she slaps your burning cheek once more.
“How long do you think you can resist, baby?” she asks as her fingers trace little patterns on your back, your shirt riding up as her hand slowly moves higher. “How long til you act like the good little slut you are for me?”
You muffle your whine in the cushion, which is starting to feel uncomfortably wet from your tears and drool under your cheek. You hate it, but you can’t give in now. Rumi would be too pleased.
“Just say you’re mine, baby, say you’re my perfect good little slut,” she says, her fingers trailing down your back to settle between your thighs, an inch from where you need her most, “just say it and I promise I’ll fuck your pretty cunt so good you won’t be able to walk.”
She runs a finger along your drenched fold, and you hear her hum in delight. You hate how wet she’s making you; you can’t deny that this is all for her, that it’s the effect she has one you. Met with only silence once again, Rumi harshly pinches your clit between her thumb and index finger.
“Aaah! Rumi—” you gasp, whole body quivering.
“Say it. Say you’re my slut. Beg me to fuck you.”
“Please,” you whimper weakly.
“Uh? What did you say? Didn’t hear you, baby. Stop hiding in the couch and gimme a proper sentence.”
You nearly sob as she tightens her grip on your clit before releasing it.
“I’m your slut! All yours!” you feel your whole face burning at your own word, at the desperation in your voice. “I need you to fuck me! Please... Mirko... please fuck me.”
She chuckles, all too amused to your liking.
“See? Ain’t so hard to be good, is it?”
Before you can register what’s happening, Rumi has hoisted you in her arms and thrown you over her shoulder and is making her way to your bedroom. Your pants still down the middle of your thighs and ass bared, it’s the most embarrassing ever but you can’t even find words to express it; you can feel your arousal dripping down your thighs, sticky and embarrassing.
She tosses onto the bed as soon as she is close enough to it.
“Be good and strip for me, baby. Take everything off.”
You hurry to obey, pushing your pants further down and kicking them off your feet before you start working on taking off your shirt. Rumi’s disappeared into the bathroom, so you sit patiently to wait for her, back leaning against the headboard.
When she comes back, Rumi is dressed, and you take the time to admire her beauty. The size of her strong arms obvious through the thin material of her long-sleeved crop top, the delicious expanse of tan skin of her stomach, her tight abs, the curve of her hips— you notice it only now, the thick bulge hidden under her jeans. You look up at her face, surprise written all over your features, and the smile she gives you is playful, she even wiggles her eyebrows at you.
Rumi unbuttons and unzips her pants, freeing the thickness of her strapon from them before climbing on the bed. She sits, legs spread, and beckons you closer with the simple movement of a finger.
“Suck it,” she demands, “get my cock nice and ready to fuck your cunt.”
You crawl over to her and wrap a hand around the hard silicone as soon as it’s within reach, your lips closing around its head. You circle it with your tongue, lick it, and look up at Rumi’s face, the dildo snug in your mouth. She can’t feel it, but she always enjoys when you put on a show for her.
Long gone is your little rebellious act from earlier. All you want is for Rumi to take you here and now, to have her fuck you until you pass out.
As you take more of the silicone cock into your mouth, she puts a hand on your head, and soon enough, you can feel her tight grip in your hair. You’re almost halfway when she tugs and pulls you away from her cock.
“Ass up. Face down. Now.”
You do as she orders, resisting the temptation to look up when you feel the bed dip next to you. You hear her open the drawer of the nightstand, then the sound of the lube bottle being opened. From the loud clang that follows, you know she’s thrown the bottle back in the drawer rather than bother putting it down.
Her fingers are cold when they press against your entrance, slick with thick lube that she spreads over your folds, over your clit, before pushing two fingers inside you. You grip at the sheets, low moan leaving your lips.
“Look at you, being all good for me now,” she comments, her tone teasing. “Taking my fingers so well.” This time, her voice comes from much closer, and you feel her chest pressing against your back. She kisses your neck and shoulders as she starts moving her fingers, slow and deliberate. “You want my cock, baby?”
You whimper at a particularly harsh thrust of her fingers and tighten your grip on the sheet to try and keep yourself anchored, balanced.
“Yes, please! I want your cock in me!”
She pulls out her fingers, and your cunt clenches around the emptiness. You can’t help but moan miserably. She coos above you, amused by your desperation, of course.
She pushes the thick head of the strapon against your hole, but instead of pushing further into you, she guides it up and down your folds, several time, painfully slow, spreading the slickness of your arousal mixed with the lube. You whine and push your hips back, seeking what she is refusing you. A big mistake, and you know it even before both her hands hit your ass, still raw from the spanking she gave you.
“Don’t try that again, baby,” she warns, squeezing the flesh of your in her hands as she presses the dildo against your entrance again. “You gonna be good for me now?”
“I promise I’ll be good! So, please, please fuck me!”
She pushes into you slowly, just the head, then pulls out and repeats the movement, carefully stretching you. She eases more of the strapon inside you with each move, and while you are grateful for how careful she is being, you wish she would just fuck you into the mattress already.
Finally, you feel her hips against your ass, and she pauses for a moment as her hands rest on your waist.
“You ready, baby?”
“I am.”
The pace she sets is fast, the movements of her hips quick, precise and harsh, almost unforgiving. The material of her pants feels rough against the sensitive skin of your ass, and you suspect Rumi of having kept her pants on merely to torture you that way.
Within seconds, Rumi has you panting and moaning.
“So good for me, taking my cock so well.”
She slows her quick pace to focus on deeper, more forceful thrusts. You can’t even form a coherent sentence, or even words, to respond. And when one of her hands leaves your waist, you clench your teeth and brace yourself for an impact that doesn’t come. Instead of spanking you, she is gentle as she places her hand on your ass. She doesn’t leave you time to consider asking her what she is doing that her thumb is pushing against your hole, and she keeps it set firmly in your ass as she quickens the pace again, fucking into your cunt ruthlessly, her hips slapping your ass with each thrust.
“Fuck! Mirko! Please!”
You’re babbling, unsure if the sounds that come out of your mouth are even the ones in your mind, but you can’t bring yourself to care when all you can feel is your girlfriend fucking you like your lives depends on it. And with each thrust bringing you closer to the edge, you moan, you mewl, you pant, you aren’t sure which, the lewd, wet noises of your pussy overwhelming your senses.
“Look at you, baby,” she croons, “being such a good slut for me, making such pretty noises just for me. So pretty and perfect. And all mine.”
“I’m so close! Please! I wanna come!”
She stills her hips, “then do,” she simply says, punctuating the short sentence with a strong thrust before resuming her quick pace.
It only takes a few more thrusts of her cock and her thumb pushing a little further into your ass for your muscles to clench desperately around her strap as waves of pleasure crash through your body, your limbs quivering from the unadulterated bliss clouding your mind. 
She is gentle as she pulls out, kisses your back as she eases you down onto the mattress and lies down next to you.
You turn your head to look at her, and she is grinning at you as you lay limply on the bed. She caresses your cheek, soft and loving, and shifts closer to kiss you on the nose.
“You did so good, babe,” she whispers, her smile only broadening, “I’m so proud of you.”
Feeling the exhaustion invade your body, you close your eye and focus on enjoying her gentle touch as she runs her fingers along your back and shoulders.
“Let’s get you in the shower in a few minutes, yeah? I’ll have to take care of your ass. I really got carried, sorry ‘bout that.”
You chuckle sleepily at her apology.
“Don’t be sorry, you know I liked it.”
“I do know. I mean, you fucking dripped on my pants, there’s still a spot on my thigh.”
You groan in embarrassment, and you would cover your face with your hands if your muscles weren’t still twitching from your orgasm.
“Just carry my lifeless body to the bathroom.”
“Gimme a break, I’m tired too. I fucking wrecked my hands spanking you so hard, ya know?”
“You really want to compare the state of your hands to my ass?” you mutter, frowning, eyes barely opening.
It’s her turn to chuckle.
“Yeah, okay, no. Just, lemme take a breathe and I’ll take care of my baby.”
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btsqualityy · 3 years
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Assuage: Chapter 23
Yoongi x Reader
Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers
Warnings: Detailed violence, weapons, fighting, and bloodshed
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When you woke up the next morning, it was to light shining through your curtains and to a shiver running it’s way up your spine. Groaning, you sat up onto your forearms, blinking your eyes open and that’s when you saw Yoongi.
He was standing in front of the full length mirror that sat in one corner of your bedroom, strapping a piece of padded chest armor onto himself. He was dressed head to toe in black, even down to the heavy black rings that littered his fingers. His shirt was long-sleeved, he had on long and thick pants, and the black combat boots on his feet were laced up tightly. He even had leg protectors strapped onto his calves. 
“Hey,” you called out and he turned to look over his shoulder, a gentle smile coming onto his features when he saw you, still completely bare from last night and the blankets on your bed were the only things covering you up. 
“Hi,” he replied, turning around and pacing over to the bed, sitting on the edge closest to you. “It snowed last night.”
“Did it?” You asked and after he nodded, you looked over at one of your windows and indeed, saw the steady fall of snow. “Great, just another thing for me to worry about.”
“I put on extra layers, relax,” he chuckled. 
“That’s one thing that I’m not going to be able to do today,” you huffed in reply. “Have you eaten?”
“I was just about to, after I finished getting ready,” he said. “I was having trouble putting this on.” He held up his hands and it was then that you noticed the roll of black, cotton hand wraps in his grip. 
“Let me get dressed and I’ll help you,” you promised him and with that, the two of you went your separate ways. After washing up and getting dressed a simple sweater and dark jeans, you walked out of your bedroom and down the hall into your kitchen, where Yoongi was eating galbi with a side of kimchi. 
“Here, move,” you said as you walked up to him and before he could reply, you were moving his arm out of the way so that you could sit yourself down in his lap. Grabbing the tape that was now sitting on the table, you unwrapped it and grabbed his left hand to start rolling it onto his fingers.
“You alright?” He questioned after swallowing a bite and you just shrugged.
“Better than last night but still worried,” you whispered. “Still scared.”
“I know,” he sighed before opening his mouth for another bite of food. The two of you continued on like that, you making sure that his hand was wrapped properly while he continued to eat his food while watching you. Once he was done eating, that was when you moved onto his right hand.
“Where are you gonna be today?” He asked you suddenly and you kept your gaze on his hand as you answered him.
“In the infirmary,” you replied. “Knowing Seo-hyun, there’s probably gonna be a lot of injuries so I’ll have my hands full dealing with those as they make their way back here.”
“You’re gonna be handling all that alone?” 
“No, Tae and Jimin are gonna be there with me too, as well as some other pack members,” you said. “A lot of people here are somewhat medically certified, so it’ll free me up to deal with more...serious injuries.”
“And what about Hyorin and Jin?”
“They’re both gonna have their hands full reassuring families today, no doubt,” you murmured. “Especially Hyo, with her being Pack Omega. People are gonna look to her for guidance today while Joon’s gone.”
“Should she be doing that though?” Yoongi wondered “I mean, she just gave birth a week ago.”
“As her physician, trust me when I say that I wish she would stay in bed,” you huffed. “But she has responsibilities.”
“Damn,” Yoongi muttered and you just sighed heavily as you wrapped his hand one last time before pressing it down. 
“All done,” you announced and he raised his hands up, inspecting them.
“Thanks,” he smiled. “I had no idea how to do that shit myself.”
“Well, I’ve had a lot of practice,” you responded. “During the first war, I used to do my own and do Joon’s too because he’d be too shaky.”
“Namjoon, shaky?” He chuckled. “He always seems like a wall of steel.”
“Seems hard to believe I know, but he’s only like that because he feels like he has to be,” you said. “Comes along with the territory of being Pack Alpha.”
“I guess,” Yoongi replied and just then, a loud horn sounded throughout the territory. Yoongi felt your body freeze and he felt his heart break because you both knew what it meant. “Well, that’s me.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, standing up off of his lap and allowing him to stand up. The two of you walked over to the front door then, where Yoongi turned around to look at you as he grabbed your hands in his. 
“I want you to be safe and take care of yourself today,” he told you seriously as he rubbed your wrists with his thumbs, scenting you. “I know that you’re the Pack Physician, but you don’t have to be Superwoman.”
“I’ll try,” you agreed easily, feeling comforted by the fresh water scent that was falling over you. “You remember what you promised me.”
“I will, I promise,” he swore, letting go of your hands and setting his hands on your cheeks. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you whimpered, gasping lightly when he kissed you passionately. You reached down and set your hands on his abdomen, clutching onto the padding that he was wearing in an effort to pull him closer to you. Just as you felt his tongue prod at your mouth and you were about to open your mouth for him, the loud horn from a few minutes earlier sounded again. 
“Be safe,” you whispered against his lips.
“You too,” he murmured, pressing one last kiss to your lips before turning around and swiftly walking out of the door. As soon as the door clicked shut and you could hear the sounds of his boots walking down the front steps, a harsh sob slipped from your lips as tears began to rush down your face.
You had been trying to stay strong for Yoongi and you knew that he wouldn’t have left if he saw you crying like this, which is exactly why you waited until now to do so as you walked over to the couch to allow yourself a few minutes to be upset. 
However, about a minute later, you heard a knock at your front door. Furrowing your eyebrows, you got up and wiped at your face while you walked over to the door, making sure that you were somewhat under control again before you pulled it open. 
“Joon?” You said in confusion, the loud horn going off once again in the background. “What are you doing here? You have to go.”
“I know, but it didn’t feel right to leave without coming to talk to you first,” he huffed as he pushed past you to walk inside. You shut the door behind him, turning around to face him afterwards. 
“Talk to me about what?”
“The succession law,” he said and you immediately shook your head because you knew where he was going with this already. 
“Joon, no,” you stated firmly. 
“Y/N-ah, I need to know that if anything happens to me, the pack will be ok,” he said
“And you know that if anything were to happen to you, Hyo would takeover,” you shot back.
“Hyo only took the title and the responsibility that comes with it because she loves me and wanted to be with me,” he explained. “And while she’s amazing at it, we talked it out and we’d both be more comfortable with you taking over if worst came to worst.”
“Why me?” You questioned lamely. 
“You know why Y/N-ah,” he smiled softly. “You were born for it and as much as you try to fight that, you know it as well as I do.”
“Joon, I don’t know,” you sighed.
“Y/N-ah, you know that I wouldn’t even ask if it weren’t serious,” he pointed out and you just looked at him because he was right. For Namjoon to even come to you and basically admit that there was a genuine concern that he wouldn’t make it today, then it was indeed serious. 
“Alright, I’ll do it,” you relented. 
“Thank you,” he grinned. “I just have one more request.”
“What?”
“If anything happens to me, look out for Hyo and the girls?” He asked and your eyes widened. 
“Joon, if there’s something that you’re not telling me,” you began but he shook his head.
“I’m not going out there hoping to be killed but it’s Seo-hyun Y/N-ah,” he spat. “You’ve seen what he did to Eomma and Appa, Hobi’s mom, hell even to Yoongi. He hates me and he will not hesitate to kill me if he gets the chance.”
“So then don’t give him the chance!”
“I’m not going to but things happen in war that you don’t expect all the time,” he explained. “If I fall, Seo-hyun is going to go for Hyo and the girls and you know how the old laws work.” Dating back to the old days, if packs were taken over, their Pack Leader was often killed and their mate, if they had one, was either forced to mate with the new Pack Leader or killed because of their association to the former Pack Leader. Children often suffered the same fate, which is why you could understand why Namjoon was worried. 
“I’ll protect them,” you promised. “You have my word.”
“Thank you,” he sighed in relief, and the horn sounded again outside. “Alright, I have to go but I love you, ok?”
“I love you too, so much,” you whimpered as you rushed forward and threw your arms around him in a tight hug. He hugged you back as well, chuckling lightly as he set his hand on the back of your head.
“My strong baby sister,” he whispered. “You got this.”
“You too,” you replied quietly as you unwrapped yourself from around him. He placed a quick kiss on your forehead and just like Yoongi, he hurried out of the door. As you watched him go, you found yourself murmuring a silent prayer to the ancestors asking them to watch over two of the most important people in your life. 
...............................................
“There you are!” Hobi exclaimed and Yoongi turned his head to watch Namjoon jog over to meet them. They were currently in a pasture that had been cleared out especially for this war, and it was only about a mile away from the territory of the Kim Pack. 
“Sorry, I had to tie up some loose ends,” Namjoon sighed as he began to stretch. “Is everyone here?”
“All 50 of us, present and accounted for,” Hobi nodded. 
“Good,” Namjoon smiled before looking at Yoongi. “How you feeling?”
“I’m ok,” he replied slowly. “A little nervous though.”
“I was too my first time out,” Namjoon said. “Don’t worry though, your instincts will kick in when someone comes at you.”
“Thanks, I guess,” Yoongi muttered. All of a sudden, the sounds of whooping and hollering began to get closer and everyone went on defense mode.
“Alright everyone, get ready,” Namjoon commanded in a deep tone and everyone feel into a single line, stretching all the way across the field. As the opposing pack got closer, Yoongi was able to see Seo-hyun and he wasn’t at all shocked to see a smirk on the son-of-a-bitch’s face.
“Remember everyone, be smart,” Namjoon shouted. “And may the ancestors protect us.”
“Well, well, well,” Seo-hyun shouted as he stopped right in front of Namjoon. “I see that you actually showed up. Are you sure that you still want to do this little pup, or do you want to rethink my previous offer?”
“I said that you’d have to kill me, and I meant that,” Namjoon stated firmly. “So do your best.”
“Oh, this is going to be fun,” he grinned before running towards Namjoon, Namjoon and the rest of the Kim Pack immediately reacting and drawing their weapons. 
...........................................
“God damnit, they’re getting creamed out there,” Jimin muttered as he sewed up a wound on an Alpha named Ki-tae’s leg. 
“Tell me about it,” you huffed as you cut into an Omega named Yumi’s shirt, exposing a large stab wound next to her belly button. Ki-tae and Yumi were only two of what were easily 20 pack members who had been to see you at the infirmary already, and the war had only been going on for an hour. 
“Send me back out there once you’re done,” Ki-tae told Jimin and Jimin shook his head.
“You can’t go back out there, you’re gonna break these stiches,” Jimin said. 
“I don’t care, they need me!” He exclaimed and Jimin looked over at you for help.
“If he wants to go, let him,” you sighed, the gauze that you had been pressing against Yumi’s stomach doing nothing to stop the bleeding. “They clearly need the help.”
“Fine,” Jimin whispered. 
“Yumi, I’m gonna need you to bite down on this,” you murmured as you grabbed a thick towel and handed it to her.
“Why?” She questioned wearily. “You gave me something for the pain, right?”
“I did but this is a deep wound and it’s gonna hurt like hell,” you warned her. “There are some things that not even pain meds can stop.”
“Fine,” she whispered, sticking the towel into her mouth while you gathered a fresh needle and thread, preparing it to sew her up. While you did so, Taehyung burst into the room, making both you and Jimin look over at him. 
“Guys, there’s something that you need to know,” Taehyung announced.
“What? What is it?” Jimin wondered.
“Remember how Baekhyun was one of the first ones to come in?” Taehyung asked and you both nodded your heads. “Well, he just came back not too long ago complaining of more pain and he seemed really insistent on it so I checked him out and look at what I found.” He held up his fingers, several smalls spikes clutched in between them. 
“Those were inside of him?” Jimin gasped and Taehyung nodded.
“Seo-hyun’s pack altered their weapons to cause more damage and I don’t even think any of our fighters can even tell,” Taehyung explained. Your eyes widened at that because if Seo-hyun was doing that, then there was really no telling what was going to happen out there today. A loud gasp of pain from Yumi brought your attention back to her and you realized that she probably had spikes inside of her as well. 
“You’re gonna want another towel,” you told her regretfully and she whined in protest and pain. 
...........................................
“We’re getting creamed out here!” Hobi exclaimed as he pushed an Alpha from Seo-hyun’s pack away from him, punching him in the jaw when the man tried to run back up to him. 
“I’m fighting along with you Hob-ah, I can tell,” Namjoon grunted as he used his knife to stab a man in the neck, pushing him down to the ground afterwards. As the two of them continued fighting, Yoongi and Jungkook were a few feet away from them, standing back to back as they fought off a pair of Omegas.
“This is so weird,” Jungkook grumbled as he hit the female Omega in the stomach, effectively knocking her onto her ass. “I’ve never hit a girl before.”
“Well, they’re trying to kill us so you might wanna get over that!” Yoongi huffed, narrowly dodging the knife that the male Omega he was fighting swung in his direction. Grabbing their wrist, Yoongi twisted it until the Omega cried out in pain before sweeping his foot out and knocking them down onto the ground. He then got on top of them, bringing his fist down against their face and effectively knocking the man out cold. 
“I know his pack is strong but they’re taking us out a little too quickly,” Yoongi muttered as he watched Jungkook sink his knife into the female’s that he was fighting chest, making sure that she was no longer breathing before getting up.
“I’m gonna assume that this is why,” Jungkook sighed as he picked up the blade that the female Omega had been wielding, and Yoongi saw the small spikes sticking out of it. 
“They altered their weapons,” Yoongi gasped. “Damn, that’s low.”
“At this rate, we’re gonna need a fucking miracle,” Jungkook surmised. Just as the words left his mouth, there were loud sounds of hollering that came from off of the battlefield. Everyone kind of stopped in their tracks to see what was coming and over the horizon, there appeared a large group of people.
“Holy shit,” Jungkook gasped. 
“Who are they?” Yoongi wondered.
“They’re one of our brother packs, the Ims,” Jungkook told him. 
“Looks like you spoke that miracle up kid,” Yoongi smiled. Seeing the Ims run onto the battlefield only served to piss off Seo-hyun’s pack because all of them began to fight with renewed vigor. 
Yoongi ended up by himself in one corner of the battlefield, fighting off two Alphas who were honestly trying to give him a run for his money. As he did so, he managed to look over to his left and saw a sight that had his eyes widening.
Hobi was fighting a Beta, but he was on his back on the ground as he and the Beta struggled over a knife. Normally, Yoongi wouldn’t have blinked twice at them but the fact that Hobi was on his back made him nervous. It was a commonly known fact that if a wolf got knocked onto his back, he was done for. Yoongi figured that Hobi could hold his own, given the fact that he knew how amazing of a fighter Hobi was but when he saw the Beta punch Hobi in the face and almost knock him out, he knew he had to do something.
Abruptly using his knife to stab one of the Alphas in the arm and then using his elbow of that same arm to smash it against the other Alpha’s face, he waited to make sure both of them were out for the count before running over to Hobi. Without even thinking, Yoongi pulled another knife from his waistband and plunged it into the side of the Beta’s neck, killing him. 
“Holy fuck,” Hobi huffed as he grabbed onto Yoongi’s outstretched hand to help him get up from the ground. “Thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Yoongi shrugged before running off again. Before he could get far though, he heard the loudest and nastiest snarl that he was pretty sure he had ever heard in his life. When he looked for the source of the sound, his blood ran cold when he saw Seo-hyun.
“I told you pup, you didn’t want to do this with me!” He growled, using his hand to punch Namjoon dead in the face. Namjoon fell onto the ground and he didn’t make a move to get up, instead rolling onto his side as he coughed up blood. 
“You wanted to die a noble death, then I am going to make that happen!” Seo-hyun shouted as he whipped out a knife and before he could plunge it into Namjoon, Yoongi sprinted towards them and kicked it out of his hands. Seo-hyun turned to look at him, an evil smirk coming onto his face.
“Oh, here’s my weak little Prime Alpha, trying to save his new Pack Alpha,” Seo-hyun cooed. 
“You wanna see if I’m still weak?” Yoongi asked him. “Try me.”
“I’ll kill you.”
“If you get the opportunity,” Yoongi shrugged. Seo-hyun then let out a sudden shout of rage before rushing towards Yoongi. Luckily, Yoongi anticipated it and moved out of the way, causing Seo-hyun to stumble and Yoongi swung his leg out which caused him to fall down onto the ground. 
“Am I still weak, you pathetic asshole?” Yoongi questioned before getting on top of Seo-hyun and delivering several quick punches to his face. 
“You’ll always be weak to me pup,” Seo-hyun grinned as he grabbed Yoongi’s shirt, attempting to throw him off of his body. “Just like your uncle and parents were.” As soon as those words registered in Yoongi’s mind, he pulled another knife from around his thigh and held it against Seo-hyun’s throat.
“My uncle was great and so were my parents,” Yoongi seethed. “Of course, you couldn’t see past your own bloodlust.”
“If that’s what you want to call getting shit done, then so be it,” Seo-hyun spat. “Weakness runs in your blood and it was the fatal flaw for your family and it will be for you too.”
“I’m the one holding a knife to your neck, remember?” Yoongi pointed out, pressing the tip a little harder against his skin. 
“And if you were gonna use it, you would’ve done it already before I had the chance to do this,” Seo-hyun smiled, pulling out a knife of his own and plunging it into Yoongi’s chest, piercing straight through the armor that Yoongi had on. 
Yoongi gasped, his body leaning over to the right before he rolled off of Seo-hyun and onto the ground. As he did so though, he managed to cut across Seo-hyun’s throat which caused him to bleed profusely. Yoongi groaned loudly, clutching onto his chest with one hand as he looked over at Seo-hyun, who was pawing at his throat and that was when he noticed the knife in between the two of them.
Mustering up every inch of strength that he could, he attempted to drag himself over to the knife. Seo-hyun saw him and tried to do the same, although he appeared to be moving considerably slower than Yoongi was.
“I have to...get it,” Yoongi thought to himself. “I promised....Y/N-ah.” 
However, despite how hard he was trying, Yoongi felt the world around him growing darker and he figured that everything would be ok if he just stopped and rested his eyes for a little while. So that’s what he did; he let his body fall onto the ground with a soft thud before letting his eyes slide shut. 
Then suddenly, a loud Bang rang out into the air and then.....everything was silent.
...........................................
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