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therunawaykind · 1 month

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don't wanna break up again

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x GN!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Genre: Pinch of angst? fluff

Warnings: None unless you hate the names Leigh & Danny in the same sentence quite a bit

A/N: Long time no see! (again) writer's block and just simply getting the inspiration and motivation to write have been fucking dreadful these last few months. I dunno what was going on. Hopefully, all things going well this is my slow return to posting regularly again on here. If not then whoops you'll see me again at some stage. Who would've thought Leigh Shaw and Ariana Granda was gonna be my breakthrough for writing stuff not me that's for sure. This is my very loose interpretation of Ariana Grande's 'don't wanna break up again' I saw someone say it was very Leigh x Danny coded then this transpired. I hope I have done this some justice I imagine my writing abilities are a bit rusty so bear with me and I hope you all enjoy!

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If there was one thing Leigh was certain of since Matt’s death it was how complicated and difficult her life had become, ranging from devastating revelations to do with Matt and his teacher co-worker Nina, living with a Jules who is now a recovering sober alcoholic, dealing with her mother Amy with her previous breakdown she had where she moved to Alaska which subsequently led to her breakthrough of wanting to travel and basically just live somewhere else that wasn’t in Los Angeles, that wasn’t home.

In addition to that after Leigh’s breakdown after choosing to leave with Jules to go to Vietnam, she ultimately decided just to stay living in their family home whilst both Jules and her mother left for however long they decided. Leigh also decided to take over Beautiful Beast for Jules until she was ready to come back…if she ever did but nonetheless she couldn’t let all of Jules’ hard work go to waste. And last but not least the absolute travesty that of her and Danny whatever that thing is, it’s complicated, messy and above all else unhealthy all over for the both of them. Not to delve too much into the ups and downs of their….thing the latest situation ended up with Danny punching a hole in the wall of Leigh’s home, to sum it up in a simple phrase “People don’t slam their fists through walls when things are going well.”

The one positive and healthy yet still slightly complicated thing in Leigh’s life which happened unexpectedly was well… Y/N. Granted one of the only aspects that made it complicated was the fact you were her “student”, you both met due to you attending Leigh’s classes at Beautiful Beast, the friendship, and conversations which ended up evolving into more flirtatious conversations did just happen out of nowhere unexpectedly. The downfall of the whole friendship between you both was when Danny surprised Leigh at the entrance of Beautiful Beast one night to take her home…then you caught Danny kissing her which again took Leigh by surprise. That night and predicament in question had truly shocked Leigh because from what she knew and understood during that time, it was during one of her and Danny’s off moments, their pause a break essentially.

But in good Leigh fashion the second she saw Danny she started overthinking and thought she interpreted something wrong or missed a certain something, whilst simultaneously thinking this was Danny offering an olive branch and showing her they really can make this work, they can be good and healthy for each other….how wrong she was. So understandably from then on you started to distance yourself and pull away from Leigh after that by not talking, hanging out or texting as much. Unbeknownst to Leigh any hope you had of having some sort of relationship with her plummeted very quickly after that.

Leigh knew whatever they had going on wasn’t good for either of them and would never last, it was a cycle they couldn’t break….well she couldn’t break. It was a lifeline for them both, the last small bit of connection they both had to Matt in some way. On one hand, Leigh had this negative and toxic relationship that she couldn’t leave, she couldn’t escape it. Somehow it always kept dragging her back in no matter how many times night and day it had her distraught, crying and attempting to soothe herself. On the other hand, Leigh had this seemingly hopeful, positive and healthy relationship she could have with you.

But before she even tried to give that relationship a chance she had to try to get out of this fucking cycle she couldn’t seem to get out of and no matter how hard she tried. Whenever she asked Jules for advice on the relationship, much to nobody's surprise always went something like this.

“Leigh you need to end this thing with Danny and go no contact with him at least for some time, this is not healthy for either of you. I mean come on Leigh he punched a hole in the wall at our house. Let me remind you when I was living with you Leigh after mom left, just how many times I’d hear quiet sobs from your room, you talking to yourself to make yourself feel better and reassure yourself everything was going to be okay, that everything was gonna be fine. And I couldn’t get in because 1. You’d lock the door, 2. You wouldn’t respond when I asked if you were okay and lastly, when you did, you’d just say you were fine, you were okay. Once one of you starts to feel happier and healthier the other drags the other one down simply just by being around.

I know you don’t want to go through another break-up or heartbreak….but you’re doing it to yourself constantly by staying in this with Danny or maybe…. You keep going back to this thing with Danny because you don’t want to hurt him and his heart completely. And if you do fully disappear from his life because to him you're his last link to Matt and right now you know full well you are leading him on and have him believing you two can have some semblance of a future together no matter how complicated it may be. I know this is a weird way to word it but… I think you know Matt wouldn’t want or like Danny to be experiencing this level of hurt and anguish as much as he is, not even specifically with you just with anyone.

But let’s not forget just how much you did hurt Danny initially when he was staying away from you and you wouldn’t let it happen. You forced your way into his life because you needed him to love you. Who knows maybe some ways down the line in the future when you’re both fully healed or at least somewhat…you two can be friends and have that last link to Matt. But also do remember that doesn’t mean you have to stop contact with Matt’s mother…. You can still have a link to him in some shape and form.”

That’s what she’d deal with, she knew and understood completely what Jules was saying yet she couldn’t bring herself to do it….unfortunately. She wishes Danny would end up being the person to end it but the chances of that happening are slim to none. But with the possibilities that awaited her on the other side of things…she knew what she had to do, end things with Danny then she had to get the friendship with Y/N back to what it was, and she had to show you that you weren't going to be just some rebound, that she saw a future with this relationship she saw it going the distance.

When she thought about the aspects of the relationship she had with Y/N the only way Leigh could describe how she felt…was how she felt when she was with Matt. With you, it finally felt like Leigh had gotten the best and good part of herself back that as Leigh put it Matt had taken with him when he died. It felt like she could finally breathe again and live her life to the fullest. Fortunately for Leigh yet quite sadly when the friendship between you both was at its best Matt left her alone, and Leigh’s recurring what she would consider nightmares of Matt and Nina living out the life she lived with him finally stopped.

Now all she had to do was start the process and uncomplicate her life which starts with talking to Danny.

As Leigh anxiously approaches the door to the apartment she knows so well, she nervously wrings out her hands and fingers. She had texted Danny the night before asking him if would it be okay for her to visit in the morning to talk to him, as Danny eagerly agreed to her calling over she realised at that very moment he was expecting a very different conversation. She hesitantly starts knocking on the door muttering to herself “You can do this, you can do this. You have to do this for yourself, Danny and everyone else in your life but most importantly you and Danny.” After a few seconds, shuffling could be heard behind the door as Leigh took a deep breath in, in an attempt to calm herself down and get all of her feelings under control.

Once the door opened a weak nervous smile spread across her face, Leigh quickly scans Danny trying to figure out how he really is, as she sees him start to step out and lean in to give her a quick kiss but before anything of the sort can happen Leigh quickly steps in and gives him a quick hug as she states “so is it alright for me to come in?” as she smiles quickly at him. Danny’s face scrunches up in confusion as Leigh quickly pats his stomach as she steps past him into his apartment, he lets out an exasperated sigh and throws his head back slightly and he turns around to walk into his apartment closing the door behind him.

When Danny finally turns to face Leigh he can’t help but notice her looking around his apartment and the constant nervous fidgeting with her fingers, her hair and her neck. He sighs to himself “Alright Leigh what is this about you said you wanted to talk.”

Leigh jumps slightly as she spins around to face him “ I- well- yeah you’re right I did, I did.” rubbing her now sweaty palms off of the side of her jeans and slowly sits herself down on Danny's sofa. Taking a deep breath in and bringing her hands up to her mouth “I- I can imagine from the way I’m acting and just how difficult it is for me to start this conversation and say what I actually want to….that you already know what this conversation is about and where it’s heading.” Hearing a quiet sigh beside her Leigh glances quickly out the side of her eye seeing Danny leaning forward slightly with his head down and forearms leaning on his knees. “But Danny this thing has to be stopped, I- we’re both hurting each other continuously whether we realise it or not. I mean need I remind ourselves of the punching a hole in the wall situation.”

That got a small chuckle out of Danny as he shook his head slightly clicking his tongue. “And I mean it wasn’t just you Danny, I forced you to be around me when you didn’t want to, in our own little ways, we were selfish when it came to this situation. Now I know I stated and promised you before that I would never have a life that didn’t have you in it…but whilst we’re both still healing and dealing with our grief that obviously still hasn’t gone anywhere. We do really need to not be in each other's lives anymore, no contact, no talking in any shape or form no stupid lil emoji texts anymore.”

Biting his lip and sitting back Danny exclaims “But Leigh that’s EXACTLY what you’re doing, you’re leaving, you’re having a life without me! You obviously think and believe you don’t need me!”

“I’M NOT LEAVING YOU, I’M NOT HAVING A LIFE WITHOUT YOU”

“LEIGH THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE DOING CAN YOU NOT HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING”

“DANNY!” scoffing to herself and shaking her head as she calmly states ”See this, this here exactly happening right now is why we need to take a step back from each other. We can’t even have a normal conversation without blowing up and ending up yelling at each other. The only time we aren’t killing each other is when we’re having sex and- and even then since we had that conversation in that casino resort we both know Matt is still weirdly on our minds during that. I- I think no matter how much we try or maybe want some sort of actual loving relationship with each other…it’ll never work. The only thing we ever can be to each other is friends.” Leigh shakes her head and licks her lips slightly “Just a friendship. Because we are hurting each other and ourselves from the inside out. We have to heal by ourselves, without the other in our lives and move on. And hopefully at some stage down the line whenever we’re both happy and healthy we can get back in contact with the other.”

Leigh smirks as she sways from side to side “Cause I can’t lie Danny I think we’d be pretty kick-ass friends together don’t ya think.” She grins as she nudges Danny with her shoulder, clearing his throat and nodding “Yeah- yeah I think we would be. And I can’t lie I get what you’re saying I understand hell I see it completely. It- it is just a difficult thing to let go of even if it is just for a little bit.”

Biting her lip and rubbing Danny’s arm “I get it, Danny I do believe me but you still have your mom. You both can get through this together because it was just as difficult for her to… You are all she has left. And I’ll- I'm staying in contact with her or at this stage more like getting in contact with her more considering she still is my mother-in-law or ex-mother-in-law anyways specifics isn’t the important thing here.”

Danny laughs slightly and nods “Yeah, yeah she’d like that.” Both sit back against the sofa in silence basking in the reality of what now has to be undertaken the reality of it hitting them simultaneously. Rubbing her hands anxiously up and down her legs as she slowly drags out “rigghtt I guess- I guess I better go now and leave us both to our journey of healing, growth whatever you wanna call it.” Leigh laughs as she mumbles to herself “god I sound like my mother” She walks to the door with Danny right behind her as Leigh opens the door she turns around and smiles at Danny as they both embrace each other in a hug for the last time till…who knows how long. Both pulling away slowly and giving each other a subtle nod as Leigh steps out through the door as it closes behind her softly. Leigh takes a deep breath in, the grin spreading across her face going unnoticed by her as she starts to descend the steps of the apartment building.

Leigh was never nervous or anxious when it came to teaching her exercise classes though apparently today was the exception, as she anticipated your arrival. Leigh smiles moving back and forth on her feet as she greets all of the students walking in through the door to her class, anxiously waiting to get a glimpse of your bag, shoes or something as you come through the front door. Considering since you distanced yourself from her she’s noticed you haven’t attended classes all that regularly. Leigh’s eyebrows raise in anticipation as she sees the front doors open happily letting out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding as she saw a glimpse of your bag and shoes come into view. Giddily she lets a grin spread across her face and she nervously picks at her nails seeing you approach the entrance “Hey Y/N it’s nice to see you again, I’m glad you decided to attend and come today.”

Taken aback by Leigh's greeting and striking up a proper conversation with you after so long did genuinely take you by surprise but couldn’t stop the smile on your face “Hey Leigh, yeah I can’t lie I missed attending these classes I’m sure I’ll get back on track from now on.” Both smiling at each other as you walk past her into the class much to Leigh’s amazement you turn around and say to her “Leigh if I can just say you look great...you just look happy and healthy. Whatever you’ve done or are doing keep it up it suits you.” With her mouth wide open Leigh messily nods and stutters out “I- I will- I- Thank you very much, I will be sure to keep it up.” Leigh turns around to the door to hide and mutters to herself “Idiot”.

Much to her relief though the class was a success and she didn’t stumble or trip over any more of her words whenever she got closer to you throughout her class as she moved around the room. After the class finished Leigh quickly grabbed her towel off the floor wiping the sweat off of her as she said goodbye to everyone, in her peripheral vision she could see you deliberately taking your sweet ass time packing away all of your stuff. Biting her lip she attempted to suppress the smile taking over her face.

As she said goodbye to one of the last students she sauntered across the room towards you as she started fiddling with the towel around her neck. “Sooo Y/N” you glanced up at her as you were putting on your shoes “What's up Leigh?”

She smiles at you abashedly as she scratches her head “I just wanna say sorry and give you a quick apology for anything I said or did that created that distance and made us pull away from each other. Because- because for that length of time, I really did miss seeing you and your face around here but I’m glad to see you back now.” Nervously scratching the back of your neck “Yeah umm I just-” shaking your head slightly as you let out a breath “I just had some stuff I had to figure out and work on to clear my head a bit and- unfortunately, sadly to do that I kinda had to step away and distance myself from you and well all things relating to you. But I- I think I’ve figured it all out now.”

You can’t help but notice the hopeful glint in Leigh’s eyes and smile “Oh really? A positive figure it out I hope?”

Grinning and nodding confidently “Yeah- yeah it does seem that way.” Both of you stare at each other smiling to your heart's content as both of your eyes scan the other person. You clear your throat as you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks and glance around the room “Anyways I should probably head off and leave you to clean up the place or whatever it is you have left to do around here.” Leigh absentmindedly nods her head but ultimately starts panicking as you pick up your bag and wave goodbye to her, she quickly sprints after you saying between breaths “Or or- or albeit this isn’t a very nice offer for you to ask-” you raise your eyebrow at her “What is it, Leigh?”

“Um, do you wanna hang out here with me and help me out around here if you aren’t busy? I just- I’ve just missed hanging out and talking with you and thought this might be a nice way for us to catch up.”

“Y’know you are right it isn’t the nicest or most glamorous offer I’ve ever heard but I have missed talking to you Leigh so I’ll stick around and help my favourite fitness instructor out.”

Leigh whips her head around to face you and stumbles slightly as she starts moving the spare barres placed around the room “Wha- what do you mean favourite fitness instructor? I’m your only fitness instructor.” Smirking over at Leigh as you roll up the extra yoga mats “That you know of, could’ve tried out other places whilst I was MIA”

“HEY!” Leigh exclaims as she throws a cloth at you

Laughing at her reaction as you catch the cloth “I’m messing, I’m messing you would be correct, you are the only fitness instructor I know and one that I go to.” You hear a quiet yet stern “good” in response as she goes back to cleaning, laughing and shaking your head in the process.

Since then you and Leigh have practically been inseparable, it was as if nothing had ever happened. She had explained to you fully what went and was going on with her and Danny currently..more like what wasn’t going on. Even though you had said to her repeatedly she didn’t have to that it was none of your business. But you reassured her it was for the better, she made the right decision, she’s doing better because of it and you could only hope the same for Danny. Leigh now had you over at her house….for what she told you would be a quiet night in with both of your favourite takeout foods and as many movies and TV shows as you both could handle.

Which now that you were here was not the case at all. Leigh had gotten the bright idea, the brainwave or as she put it a breakthrough. She felt that the whole house needed to be redecorated and refurnished as it reminded her of sad, difficult and complicated times and she couldn’t stand being reminded of those moments any longer. So who were you to say no to helping her out yet again. As you were sat on the floor dismantling all of the old furniture with Leigh, you saw her peak her head out from the other side “Again I’m sorry about this, it seems like none of my hangouts recently are that exciting and it involves you always having to work.” You laugh and shake your head “Leigh honestly it’s okay I really don’t care what I do as long as it’s with you. But hey it’ll be a nice bonding time for both of us, be a little glimpse of what it’s like if we were to ever live with each other I guess.” You scratch your head and hurriedly get back to dismantling the furniture as you realise what you said. “Did you just say living together?”

“Psshhh me say that? No never? Must’ve heard things, Leigh.”

“Mhmm okay sure.” What you didn’t notice was Leigh moving over to you slowly on her knees but jumping slightly as you felt her place her arms on your shoulders in an attempt to get you to raise your head to look at her. Glancing up at her you see the silly little smile on her face “I may not be ready for that yet but I’d like to think we’d end up living together at some stage in the future.”

Staring at her wide-eyed “R-really?” Leigh grins and nods her head as she whispers against your lips “Really.” Grinning at each other as you both lean in to place kisses on each other's lips which quickly turn into little pecks as Leigh slaps your thigh “Alright let’s get back to work this house isn’t gonna refurnish and redecorate itself. And this furniture certainly won’t dismantle itself.”

Chuckling to yourself you playfully salute towards Leigh “Aye, aye captain.”

#therunawaywrites #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x y/n #leigh shaw imagine #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen x y/n #sfyl #sorry for your loss #leigh shaw

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messedupfan · 5 months

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Benefits Of Car Troubles| 8

Summary: After getting settled into the apartment, Leigh asks about Y/n's troubled past and comforts them.

A/n: I should have never done that damn poll. But here it is. A WARNING because y'all voted for SMUT. So, spoiler alert, there's SMUT involve. MINORS DNI this is 18+ content hehe.

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Living with Leigh is different when her family isn’t around. She is less stressed out about how she needs to present herself and how you need to behave. When she comes home from work, she spends a few minutes in the shop talking to your co-workers and getting to know Teddy a little bit better. After having lunch with her and Cameron, her lawyer brother, she started to feel a bit better about your closeness to her. Not great, but better. She hasn’t brought up her discomfort about the friendship to you yet. With her divorce proceedings and drama with her sister, she doesn’t have the energy to come home and fight more. You have become her safe space and she has let you know that everyday.

After she rests for an hour in the apartment, she cleans up the few messes around and then cooks dinner to have it ready for the both of you since you work later than she does. Then, as she is waiting for you to come upstairs she takes time to write. With learning about your schedule she is amazed that you ever made time to go to writing class and have something prepared for class. She is surprised that you ever had time for her. What she doesn't know is that you have been working extra shifts in order to have money leftover after buying the house. You had enough to cover the down payment, the issue was having enough money to sustain for some time after that. Sure, you could ask your dad for a loan but you'd have no idea when you'll be able to pay him back. Besides the basic expenses, there is moving and baby stuff which you have no idea what you do and don't need. Everything was going to start piling up and you weren't sure if you'll be able to afford all of it.

“Wow, what smells so good,” you ask as you enter the apartment. Leigh has your small table set with the few plates and utensils that you own. She happily tells you that it's your favorite dish and you don't clean up before devouring the meal. You have been skipping lunch most days to get the extra hours. “This is delicious, babe. Thank you,” you tell her with a full mouth and Leigh shakes her head at your silliness.

After dinner, you shower and get out of your dirty work clothes. Then you join her in the living room where she is typing away on her laptop. “What are you up to?” You ask as you lift her legs and sit underneath them. You begin to massage her feet because you're sure they're sore with the extra weight she has to carry.

“Oh that's so good, thank you.” Leigh hums as you work your fingers into her tense foot. “I was working on a story,” she closes her laptop and places it on the coffee table. “But I've hit a dead spot and I'd rather spend my time with you.”

“Awe I'm sorry, do you want to talk it out? I think I could help you out of it,” you offer as you switch one foot for the other.

Leigh shakes her head then she sits her arm on top of the couch and rests her head against her hand. “I just want to talk with you. We can do that another day.” She rubs her exposed belly with her free hand.

“Okay, we can do that.” You start by asking about her day and you listen intently as she talks about work and the gossip from the office. You laugh at her sarcastic remarks and little jokes and ask her questions when you're confused or want her to know that you are listening. Then she mentions that she talked to her mom a little bit and you can see that something is bothering her so you ask her to tell you.

Leigh sighs, she moved from her position halfway through her story about finding two of her co-workers screwing in the copy room. Her legs that were across your lap are now tucked under her and instead of sitting on the other end of the couch, she is sitting on the cushion next to you. “Can I ask you how you knew that Jules wanted to use that money for drugs and not rehab?”

You take a deep breath as you figure out where to start because you don't like talking about that part of your past. It's something that you've chosen to bury and have been able to avoid telling Leigh about until now. Part of you hoped that you could go forever without ever revealing this time in your life but you knew someday that you would have to. Especially since addiction can be a genetic condition and you would have to explain to her why you plan to be so strict when the baby in her belly reaches their teenage and even their adult years. You were worried that when she met your dad that she would start asking questions but her mind clearly got temporarily distracted by her sister. The situation you had been in too many times in your life. A situation that you swore that you would never experience again. You look at Leigh with a frown and scratch the back of your head. “My mom,” is all you're able to say. Luckily, it's all that you have to say because Leigh pulls you into a tight hug.

“I'm sorry about whatever experiences that you had with her that makes you talk so little about her,” she says as she holds you. “I'm also kind of relieved that it wasn't you or maybe a complicated ex of yours. I know, that's horrible to say. But,” you shake your head to cut her off.

“No, it's okay. Honey, I'm here for all of your honesty. Good, bad, I want to hear it. No matter what. Okay?” You move her hair out of her face as you look at her. You kiss her lips. “I want to be honest and completely open with you but I’m not ready to talk about my mom. I hope to be someday. Especially before this one,” you rest your hand on her baby bump, “starts high school so that we can give them a proper scare. I don’t want them to make one wrong move that will screw up the rest of their life. I know that after everything with your sister that you’re probably very concerned about that as well.” Leigh nods, confirming that she doesn’t want that for her child. She wasn’t as concerned as she might be now since Jules' genetics aren’t connected to her genetics. But this baby is connected to you and you are connected to your mother. The chances aren’t as likely but there is never any guarantee with this sort of thing. “I don’t want you to worry though, I have faith in us that we won’t let anything like that happen.”

Leigh runs her fingers through your hair, “I love you.” She kisses you softly. As her lips collide with your’s a hunger begins to build in the pit of her stomach. The kind of hunger that doesn’t require food to satisfy. Only you. Leigh deepens the kiss as you hold onto her. “I miss you,” she says against your lips. You try to pull her off to ask what she means by that but she doesn't move and instead finds a way to answer that question by shoving her hand in your sweatpants. “I miss the way you used to fuck me all over my old house and… this apartment,” she whispers against your ear as she continues to rub you.

You're reminded of the afternoons when the affair started. She would call the shop and you would escape from work to meet her wherever she wanted. It started with motel rooms that she would arrange but ask you to pay for, which you gladly did. It was just sex at the time. Nothing more than fucking each others brains out. She started off the more dominant of you two but eventually you took on that role once you learned everything that made her squeal.

As she climbs on your lap and kisses you, memories of when she first invited you to her home flood your mind. You couldn't deny the thrill you felt seeing her framed wedding photos as you made her toes curl. But as she rides you now, you don't miss that feeling. This one, knowing that she wants to be with you, loves you, wants a future and a family. This feeling is better than anything you could have imagined. Being loved instead of used, there is quite a difference.

You start to rub her clitoris to get her there faster. She has her hands on your shoulders to hold her steady. “Let me take you to the bedroom,” you say against her lips, concerned about her back. She has complained about pain recently with the extra weight she has to carry.

Leigh shakes her head, “No, I'm fine.” She crosses her arms and removes her shirt. “This is so good,” she smiles down at you before she grabs your face and deeply kisses you. She rolls her hips as you're inside of her causing you to groan. When she stops kissing you, you move your hand from her clitoris and place your hands on her ass to help her bounce on you. She tips her head back as she moans and you move to suck on her neck. Something you used to hold yourself back from to avoid getting caught that now you get the freedom to do. She is yours.

You continue to thrust into her as you move your mouth around her exposed body. From her neck to her shoulder to her collarbone down to her still covered breasts. With your teeth, you pull the fabric down in order to expose her breasts. You are careful with licking her nipples as she has complained about sensitivity earlier in the week. You look up and watch her bite her lips and shut her eyes the way she always does when she is getting close. You smile as you move to the other breast while you continue to thrust deep into her warm pussy.

“Fuck,” Leigh moans out as you hit a spot inside of her that causes her walls to clench around you. Her moans drive you crazy as you rest your head against her chest to have her breasts rub against your face. The pace of your thrusts slow down as you get closer in order to drag it out a bit longer but she doesn’t want to drag it out. She is ready. She wants your release now. She wants to know that she can still pleasure you and bring you to an orgasm. She wants to feel you lose all control of yourself. She rolls her hips on your lap and with a tight grip on your couch she brings the pace back up until you can’t hold back.

“Holy shit!” You say as you reach your climax and shoot inside of her. Feeling your release, Leigh reaches her own high. She holds you close to her body as the both of you spasm against each other. “I love you,” you say as you kiss her sweaty cheek. “I can’t even remember the last time we did this,” you say as you start to laugh. She joins you and peppers you with sweet kisses.

“I’ll be honest, at that last house tour I imagined our life there in an innocent way but… I also imagined us all over that house. Fucking in every room,” she admits as she scrunches her nose in that cute way that she always does. You kiss her nose and call her cute, she hugs you in response.

Later that night, you are unable to sleep. Leigh is deep asleep and snoring, something that has arrived with the pregnancy. It wasn’t a loud obnoxious snore, it was actually kind of endearing. It’s a snore that you can sleep through, that’s not what is keeping you up. You can’t get your mom out of your head. Most days she never crosses your mind but when she does, you can’t help but worry about her. You wonder if she is even alive, it’s been almost five years since the last time you’ve seen her. You look at Leigh with sad eyes as you push the memory away. You know that, even though it wasn’t planned and this wasn’t the way you ever saw this happening, she is the perfect person for you to have a child with. Leigh is always going to be there for you and the baby. She won’t leave either of you to chase a high. And you will always be there for them. No matter what.

You lean down and kiss her belly, “I know that we haven’t met yet, but I already love you so much kid.” You rub her stomach softly, careful to not wake her up. “I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. I can’t wait to play with you and guide you.” You smile as you imagine the baby as a real person standing before you someday soon. “I hope I don’t screw you up.” You sigh, and move off of the bed. You weren’t feeling tired at all and instead of wasting that time tossing and turning, you decide to write down the story of your mother. You know that you won’t ever be able to tell it without completely falling apart but hopefully, Leigh will be fine with just reading it. Never discussing it. Maybe one day you share it with your kids when they’re older and start to ask about what your mom was like.

As you write about your earliest memories of her, a part of you breaks knowing that she might never meet your kids or Leigh. And it’s not because she was taken from this world but because she chose to escape this reality. The reality that you have always found to be beautiful even in your lowest moments.

Leigh finds you in the morning, asleep on the couch with dried tears on your face and a notebook on your lap. She frowns as she tries to read the smudged paper from where she stood but when she can’t make out much of it, she decides to make coffee to help you wake up. Once you do, she tries to ask why you didn’t sleep in the bed but you are too drained to talk to her about it. She worries that you are going to start pulling away from her but when you pull her for a kiss before she leaves, she knows that you will talk to her when you’re ready.

NINE

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#leigh shaw #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x y/n #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw x you #benefits of car troubles #messedupfan

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gb12d · 7 months

Text

Second Chance

Leigh Shaw x Fem Reader

Y/N's POV

Leigh and I had been dating for a two years before I broke up with her. We had met at a grief group when she had lost her husband in a hiking accident. She was hesitant to commit to a new relationship because she felt that she would be betraying Matt. I reassured her that it was okay to love and go on while still remembering Matt, but she continued on pushing me away everytime. As I open my eyes glance at her and see her speaking to Jules as I remember our last conversation before I left. "Leigh where were you?" I ask since she wasn't home the previous night. "Nothing important that you should know," she replies, making me scoff. "Do you still want to continue our us, Leigh?" I ask as she shakes her head in response, making me sad. As she answers, "No no no Leigh you're just grieving. We can make it through. "I I just can't lead you on. I just can't. It's all me I can't hurt you Y/N. We're over" she added, as I gather my things and leave, after our conversation, she doesn't approach me or make any contact. "Hey Leigh it's been a long time" I greet her.

Leigh's POV

"Hey Leigh it's been a long time" I recognise her voice yes, it's Y/N Deep down, I still miss her a lot even though we broke up because I was in love with her but was too afraid to move on since Matt. I wish I had been more mature and stopped her before she left. Instead, I let her go. I greet her back, "Y/N hey indeed it's been a while since we've seen each other" loving her endearing smile and silly demeanour. "So how are you and why are you here for as I know you don't come here often." I ask her "Oh Leigh, it's just that my girlfriend is a book worm so I'm here with her," she replied, addressing her girlfriend as I feel my heartbreak. Later she introduces me to her girlfriend, "Elisa meet Leigh and vice versa." "I don't wanna sound rude but me and Jules has some work so we'll take your leave," I say as I walk away feeling heartbroken as all I could think of was my old memories with Y/N.

Y/N's POV

She left, leaving me confused if she still loves me given the fact that how I made her feel when I brought up Elisa."Babe I I don't feel good I'll head home" I kiss Elisa and head back to my home as I think of my old memories with Leigh. My memories with Leigh filled my entire head as I dozed off in bed. After a year, I had a dream about her with her outrageously gorgeous smile and her stunning emerald eyes as we were in our spot. I didn't want her to leave us there, as she always does, but she stayed and made me smile as I woke up and glanced at my phone. I frantically called Elisa after I missed our dinner date, "Babe, I'm really sorry as I told you I was not well." To which she asked me and I went silent. "I knew it would always be her Y/N anyway, happy anniversary," she said, cutting the call as I knew Elisa and I were no longer together. I curse Leigh for hurting my heart once more as I slam my phone down on my bed. Leigh, who appears to have been sobbing for hours, greets me as I was at her home to confront her. "Why can't I just forget you Leigh why?" I question her to which she she replies, "Because I can't get you out of my head too" making me cringe. " You left" she continues, "You didn't stop me" I defend, I heard her murmur something, and then I felt her warm lips on my own. She then kissed me, asking if I was pleased or sad. I didn't react, and finally, she began to pull away. "I'm sorry Y/N I I shouldn't have kissed" she apologizes to which I nod.

Leigh's POV

She nods "Do you still love me?" I ask who which her response confuses me "I wanna fall for you again but you're love scares me. Yes I'm scared to get heartbroken by you again Leigh" she pause "I'm willing to give you a second chance because I I can't move on from you" as I carry her to her room and cuddle into her missing her warmth, she gives me a passionate kiss, which I immediately return.

Y/N POV

Leigh didn't value me or our relationship before, but she made me feel at home. Did this second chance last long? Yes, it did, and now I'm here waiting for her at the altar to marry my love Leigh Shaw. She kept her promise to never break my heart again, and I can't wait to have her as mine forever.

#leigh shaw #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss #leigh shaw imagine #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff

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maximotts · 2 years

Note

hey bestie,,, uhhh for those NSFW alphabet fun things,,, you know I gotta do it… leigh shaw PLS I am begging and offering french toast 😌🙏🏼

Ignore that I'm finishing this at 8pm

We all know I love Leigh endlessly and god, doing this was so so fun!! I'm excited to do the others!! Also this is a good time so post this because this is the week my Leigh fic comes out hehehe 💖 so without further ado..

NSFW Alphabet: Leigh Shaw

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Oh she's so sweet. Even if Leigh is dead tired, she'll make sure you're feeling okay and that you're both all cleaned up and settled properly. When she's too out of it to do it herself, she'll prod you to do get up, have some water, get all cozy, etc.

Above all, she's so very caring and she wants to make sure you're in your best headspace after sex. If Leigh knows you're alright, she'll feel a thousand times better.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Leigh loves her legs, mostly because she obviously does a lot of work with them at the studio and in her classes! She doesn't mind showing them off, laying them over your lap, letting you massage her thighs while you watch movies, and she absolutely melts whenever you mark up her legs with dark hickeys.

Her favorite on you are your hands. Before she met you, she was in severe drought for a caring touch. While you were just friends, you still always met her with such love, it almost brought Leigh to tears.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

When you first started dating, Leigh was more squeamish about it. Not in a prudish way, but she always looked away whenever you licked your soaked fingers after pulling them out of her.

Now she thinks it's hot and typically she's the one to pull you up for a kiss after you've finished eating her out.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It's a simple thing, something she doesn't truly need to keep secret, she just hasn't been able to figure out how to ask you for it: Leigh is fairly sure she's got a bit of a degradation kink, based off the times you've gotten more carried away and said things you apologized profusely for later.

She wishes you'd stop apologizing and call her your pretty little slut again because she's never cum harder.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

While she's very much not a virgin, Leigh had never been with a woman before she met you. That meant she often felt really out of place/unexperienced whenever she was with you, but you never looked down on her for it.

Leigh's a smart woman, hates feeling out of the loop tbh, so let's just say she was very intent on not being inexperienced for long. There was a lot of reassurances because as much as you'll never say no to Leigh wanting to take control, you didn't want to pressure her, but nowadays she is very knowledgeable and very good at what she does.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

She loves being on top, even if you're the one calling the shots. Especially if you're using a strap. There's nothing better than that deep, full feeling when she gets to ride you until she's fully spent.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It's very easy for Leigh to fall into her head and that's when she'll get more serious about it, or when she wants you to fuck her for a distraction. Either way, she loves that you always try and bring levity in- if you tickle her sides, she'll giggle; if you blow raspberries on her tummy, she'll poke at you for being silly.

Some days it can be hard for her to truly let go, but she appreciates it so much when she can. Leigh loves to laugh and have fun during sex, it's more satisfying for her that way!

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

The girl is so Type A I feel like she's always well groomed. Not that she waxes necessarily, I don't see her doing that all the time, maybe more for vacations or beach days. On the daily, I'd say she's trimmed and neat about it!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

She likes intimacy, but she doesn't need it to be romantic to enjoy sex. The first few times you fucked certainly were nooot intimate at all; they were quick and had no strings attached... but then she started having feelings for you.

As soon as she did, Leigh needed that intimacy, needed you to know how much she felt... her demeanor changed, her kisses lingered, she wanted sex to last longer.

If she's in a relationship, she expects some sort of intimacy even if it's just a quick wellness check in before you fuck her into the mattress.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Leigh splurged and bought herself a lovense lush toy, fully thinking it was gonna be super overhyped, but when she got it, she found out it really was just as good as it seemed. For a while she just loved the discreet nature of it, how she could put it in while she was on FaceTime with you and if she was sneaky enough, she could get herself off even while you were busy working.

Eventually she let you connect to her toy control's though and you made up for all of those times you missed out on her orgasms.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

We already talked about the semi-hidden degradation kink, but on the whole, Leigh is unapologetic in asking for what she wants. This kind of goes in hand with the degradation, but she absolutely loves dirty talk.

Talking in general is a big yes from her because it helps her stay present, but talk her through her orgasm well enough- "fuck, you're taking my fingers so well, already clenching around me and everything... I want to watch you cum for me" and you'll find her eyes rolling back to her head, nails scraping down your back, etc.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Her favorite of all is bed; sometimes she thinks that makes her boring, but she doesn't care. She likes being comfortable and she can go longest by herself or with a partner sprawled out in bed.

Also it's perfect for falling asleep right after you're done and she doesn't have to worry about anything past changing her sheets after particularly messy nights.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Leigh adores feeling wanted. Nothing turns her on more than watching your face light up when she wears a nice set of lingerie for your enjoyment or honestly, something as simple as telling her what a good job she's done planning a new event as work.

During sex, whispering about how good she feels, how pretty she looks, etc. can make her cum on the spot

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Any hard kinks, specifically anything that involves pain. The last thing she wants to do is hurt you or mark you permanently nor would she want you to do it to her either.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

She ends up receiving most often, but doesn't have any problems giving. It's partially due to Leigh's inexperience (as we mentioned before) with going down on a woman prior to meeting you; you never want to push or overwhelm her and typically fall into making your way down her body and staying until her brain is too fuzzy to function.

That being said, Leigh isn't bad at oral by any means! She's great, you taught her well.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

100% a fan of slow and sensual if she's in charge. She wants to see you, needs to know you're real and present and not going anywhere. She loves holding onto you, scratching her nails down your back, burying her face in your shoulder, really surrounding herself in all of you.

She's not opposed to rough though, loves it too, but she doesn't ask for it that often. Usually you're the one who'll manhandle her or set the tone for some fast sex that she'll fall into it. Which works because some nights the poor girl just doesn't want to think and she needs you to force it all away.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

For Leigh, they're a means to an end. She prefers proper sex, but she won't say no to a romp in the car or even in the park if you promise to be quick about it.

Occasionally she'll say no because the location embarrasses her (i.e. a store fitting room or the locker rooms at the gym), but if you get your hands on her fast enough, it's not too hard to weaken her willpower.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

It's rare she initiates an experimental thing, mainly because she wouldn't know the first place to go looking for things to try. But if you bring something up to her and it's clear you really want to give it a go, usually you can persuade her into doing anything at least once.

Even if she complains about it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Ohhh when you first met her, you thought she'd tap out after just one, but you were pleasantly surprised Leigh can go all night if you pace her out enough.

She wants to hate when you do... the edging, the overly-sensitive orgasms, how sleepy she gets only to be met with your smug little grin inches away from her face... but she can't; you make her feel too good.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I'd say Leigh owns a few vibrators, definitely at least one dildo. She uses them on herself mostly, but there have been times where she uses them on you. She doesn't admit it often, but she loves to watch you squirm and shake, especially when she can take credit for it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She'll tease if she's feeling up to it, like if it's a special day or if she wants your attention. She can be very persuasive when she feels neglected!

In general, Leigh's a cute tease above anything, examples are: bending over in shorts she knows you can see her ass in, going in for a sweet kiss only to blindside you with her tongue in your mouth, sliding past you in tight spaces to wiggle against you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Leigh tends to be fairly quiet; not because she's necessarily ashamed, but she worries that if she's too loud you'll tell her to hush.

Further into your relationship, you start noticing how she bites her lip or finger to hold herself back and you're quick to stop her, forcing her jaw open or pulling her hand away from her face. Now she knows you like to hear her... but she still makes you work for it.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Early in your relationship, Leigh was still learning your schedule, assumed you were at bored at work, and sent you a... quite suggestive picture of herself in her post-class outfit half out of it really.

Turns out you were at home and, living pretty close to the studio, you rushed down there and fucked her in the same room you found her in. Thankfully she was between classes, but every time Leigh looks at the mirror panel in the far corner and remembers how you'd stretched out her shirt and nearly ripped her leggings with how frantically you needed to get your hands on her, she shivers.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

For lack of a better word, Leigh is just... beautiful. The first time you were allowed to go down on her, you stared until she closed her legs out of nerves, but as soon as you could coax her to part them again, you dove straight in.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It ebbs and flows really. Some weeks she'll be on you every time you turn a corner, pulling you to some secluded area for a quick fuck, or anything she can get out of you in the limited time she bought.

Other times, when Leigh isn't having a great brain time, she's just more shy and reserved. If she asks for something, it most likely comes in the form of her arms around your waist and gentle kisses until you catch on to what she's after.

Z = ZZZ ( how quickly they fall asleep after sex)

If she's not too in her head, Leigh will snuggle up and sleep so easily, it startles you. Truly she can be mid-sentence and then you'll hear silence and after, light snoring.

Sometimes, she'll beg you to fuck her to sleep which of course, you oblige happily.

#leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw fic #leigh shaw smut #sorry for your loss fic #maximotts #motts writes.

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royaltyofmultifandom · 2 years

Text

Echo - Leigh Shaw x Reader

Summary: Y/n admits her true feelings to Leigh for her to get denied. What happens when Leigh keeps pulling Y/n in to only push her away again? Will Y/n keep coming back or will she finally leave for good?

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut, 18+ (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) , drunkLeigh!, angst.

Words:

A/n: This idea kept popping up in my head so I had to write it. It was inspired by the song “Echo” by Alexander Stewart. I hope you enjoy this oneshot and as always any likes, reblogs and comments mean a lot. Also shoot me a message if you would like to be tagged in any of my works or tagged for a specific character :) enjoy!

MASTERLIST // Join my Taglist!

You first met Leigh outside of her grief group in the parking lot. Your sister was the grief counsellor for the group and you would always stop by to help hand out refreshments if you had the chance.

You remember the day Leigh Shaw finally talked to you as if it were yesterday. You had seen Leigh coming to grief group for over a year now and the therapist in you saw something in her. Over time you started to grow a crush on the woman and loved how blunt and straightforward she was; you never ever considered that one day that bluntness would hurt you more than anything else in this world.

Leigh had stayed behind a little to help your sister and you clean up. Once everything was almost done Leigh decided to call it a night mumbling a goodnight to the both of you. You had noticed she seemed more down than usual, so you spotted the extra doughnuts left over from today’s session and grabbed the box and ran out after her.

“Hey, Leigh. Can you wait up for a second” you yelled after her. Leigh stopped and turned around to face you and you felt your heart rate increase against your chest as her sage green eyes, with a blank look, stared into your own. Leigh’s brows furrowed eyebrows as she tilted to the side slightly as she wondered why you were chasing after her.

You jogged the rest of the way up to Leigh and held out the box of doughnuts while smiling widely at her as she frowned, looking down at the box of doughnuts. You caught on to her further confusion immediately.

“Oh, my sister had some of these left over and we weren’t going to eat them. You seemed a little more down in today’s session than usual and I noticed how much you love doughnuts. I thought you could use an extra pick me-up or you know, if you don’t want a pity gift then you could consider them as a thank you gift, for helping my sister and I clear up tonight” you ramble. You start scratching the back of your neck as you avoid all eye contact with her, knowing that if you did your heart might just beat out of your chest or stop completely.

“Thank you, uhm, sorry, I don’t know your name” Leigh apologises as you catch the guilty look flash across her face briefly.

“That's okay, and my name is Y/n L/n. My sister runs your grief group” you explain as Leigh nods in acknowledgement.

“Right, yeah, of course. Well Y/n L/n, it was very nice to meet you and thanks again for the doughnuts. Maybe I could see you again sometime? Outside of the grief group, maybe we could grab some coffee together one day?” Leigh proposes.

“I’d really like that, Leigh, hang on I’ll enter my number into your phone if you’d like” you suggest. Leigh flashes you a smile, the first one you’d seen off her all night, as she passes you her phone. You input your number and hand it back to her before walking Leigh to her car and watching her drive off.

Leigh texted you three days after and invited you out for coffee and that was where a beautiful friendship began. You and Leigh spent nearly everyday together for three months and your crush on Leigh only developed further until you fell completely in love with her.

Over time, as the two of you kept growing closer physically, you ended up sleeping together one night. Since that first time it became a recurring event that whenever Leigh needed you, you would be there and the two of you would have sex.

That’s what leads you to where you are right now watching her grab the rest of her clothes and walk out of your apartment without so much as a word.

**************************************

“Fuck y/n. Right th-there” Leigh moans echo your bedroom, her hips thrusting uncontrollably at the pace you’ve set with your strap.

You are completely mesmerised as you stare at the way her breasts bounce as she rides you. You bite your lip to silence yourself from groaning whilst focusing on her perky breasts and erect nipples “fuck Leigh, you are so fucking perfect. Come on baby, that's it; you can do it. Fuck yourself on my cock baby” you purr.

You thrust your hips up off the mattress as hard and as fast as you can as Leigh rides you. You place the soles of your feet flat so that you can thrust at a quicker pace and deeper into her pussy. Her head tilts back in ecstasy as she slides her hands up your torso and lands on your breasts to anchor her as she lifts her hips, sinking back down on your strap, taking the full length of the toy.

You caress her hips before gripping them a little tighter and guide her as she rides you. Pulling her hips down against you whilst you thrust into her as she runs her hands across your chest exploring the shape of your breasts, almost like she wishes to commit the feeling of them to memory.

“Fuck y/n, I’m going to cum baby” she moans as her hips speed up, chasing her high, but you have other ideas.

You lean up so you are sitting as Leigh still bucks against the strap buried within her. You bring your lips to her nipple and run your tongue over it before taking her nipple in your mouth and softly sucking and biting on it before letting it go. You move on to her other breast once again taking her nipple in your mouth as you knead the other one. You can hear Leigh’s ragged breaths as she struggles to reach the orgasm she is so desperately chasing. “Y/n baby please, I need you” she pleads.

You place a kiss just under her breast and bite the skin before soothing it over with your tongue. You pull away at her desperate pleas “need me to help you baby?” you coo into her ear. She shudders, nodding, as your breath tickles her ears just adding to her overwhelming need to cum.

Leigh nods frantically “please make me cum” she whimpers, her body becoming tired as she grinds harshly against your strap showing you how desperate she is.

“Okay baby I’ve got you” you shush her.

In one quick motion you flip her so that she is on her back and she instantly wraps her legs around your waist allowing you better access to her pussy. You pull your strap out of her until only the tip is inside her. Leigh whimpers at the temporary loss. You lean down and start kissing her lips before moving your kisses down her jaw until you reach the sweet spot on her neck. You thrust your entire length into her entrance until you bottom out just as you bite down on the sweet spot on her neck, smoothing the bite over with your tongue. Leigh’s entire body arches reactively into you as she lets out the most perfectly sinful moans which echo the bedroom walls.

You continue the thrusting into her deeply and hard whilst leaving kisses down her neck, collarbone and breasts, gently nipping her and leaving bites every so often. Leigh bucks hard against you as she runs her fingers up your arms and along your back as she digs her nails into your back to ground herself at the brutal pace you have set.

“Y/n I’m go-gonna cum, fuck y/n” she moans loudly as her walls clench against the strap as her hips and body jerk as she cums hard all over your strap. You continue thrusting into her softly until the last wave of her orgasm has washed over her. You smile at her and kiss her lips and then her forehead before pulling out of her as she whimpers slightly.

You remove the strap and throw it across the room to deal with later as you crawl up the bed and collapse next to Leigh. You place a soft kiss on her temple “you okay?” You ask, passing her some water that she politely declines. You go to wrap your arms around her and pull her into you to cuddle, but she has already leaped from the bed and began getting dressed.

This is what she always does after the two of you have sex. She gets dressed as soon as you have made her cum, leaves, doesn’t talk to you or answer your messages and calls for two weeks, calls you up to hang out, saying that she misses you and the cycle repeats itself.

Every time you try to even remotely bring up the subject of her staying after having sex, she just yells and it always ends in an argument. You keep trying, hoping that each outcome will be different, but they all end the same; her leaving.

You jump up and start getting dressed too, but this only speeds up her process as she opens the bedroom door. You run over to her and slam the door shut with your hand and gently spin her around to face you, but she refuses to look into your eyes. You bend your knees slightly as you cup her cheek, softly, rubbing your thumb over the apples of her cheeks, trying to catch her eyes with yours.

“Leigh please, don’t do this again. Okay? Just please don’t leave like you always do” you plead with her.

Leigh looks up and meets your eyes “I can’t do this, Y/n, this was a mistake. I was lonely and…” “and I was just there. I get it, Leigh. I know the whole script like the back of my hand at this point. At least you’re consistent. I’ll give you that” you cut her off sadly, finishing the same speech she always provides.

“Y/n, that’s not fair” she mumbles trying to reach out for you just so she can offer a few soft touches to pacify you before leaving just like she intended to do in the first place anyway.

“No, you know what’s not fair, Leigh? I am in love with you and have been since we met and you know this and yet you still sleep with me, leave, don’t talk to me for weeks and then repeat the cycle. You know this and you refuse to admit you feel the same way because you’re scared. I get it, Leigh. I do. You’re scared that if you let me in entirely and let yourself feel the feelings you have for me, that you’ll lose me, but I’m still here.

We do the same dance every time Leigh. You kiss me and I kiss you back; we end up sleeping together, and then you tell me it’s a mistake. But it’s not a mistake, and you know it. You know, deep down you have feelings for me too, but you won’t admit them because you’re so scared I’m gonna leave you just like Matt did or that you’re betraying him.. But I’m not going anywhere, Leigh. I am right here. I am always right here where you leave me. I tried to go slow because I thought that’s what you needed. Matt would want you to be happy and move on. I’m not going to leave you like Matt did, Leigh” you sigh, letting all your thoughts out.

Leigh glares at you before stepping forward so she can finally look you deep in the eyes “you know what I’m sick of, Y/n? You psychoanalysing me all the fucking time. You may be a therapist, but I am not one of your fucking patients, and your stupid therapy methods don’t work on me, so stop treating me like one. I don’t need you to be patient with me or tell me you aren’t going to leave me like Matt; instead you should keep my husband’s name out of your mouth. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be with you. You’re so desperate god, you’re just a good fuck every so often” she yells exasperatedly as she throws her hands up before they come crashing back down against her thighs.

You step back as you feel a pang of hurt in your chest as if someone had just punched you in the gut. You feel the tears start to come to form in your eyes as her mossy green eyes convey nothing but anger towards you. You decide you won’t let her see how much she hurt you, so instead you swallow the lump in your throat and push down the tears.

“Fine, you know what Leigh, fine. I’m done doing this with you. From now on, don’t contact me. I am done trying to make this work. If you are afraid of your feelings then fine, but excuse me if I don’t stick around for you just to insult me and treat me like a punching bag. I refuse to let you drag me down with you. I need to distance myself from you for a while because it hurts too much to be around you anymore” you croak as your emotions become too much.

Something snaps in Leigh when she realises what is happening and her eyes shine with panic, her wide eyes glistening with unshed tears, which then soften as she attempts to reach out for you once more to try and console you. You step back away from her shaking your head as you shrug her off, leading her to the front door as you hold it wide open.

“Y/n please I didn’t mean what I said” she apologises, her eyes pleading you not to do this.

You continue to hold the door open and look down at the ground, avoiding her eyes “bye Leigh” you mumble. Leigh’s tears escape her eyes as she comes to the realisation that she really fucked up this time and wipes them away with the palm of her hand as they fall. She tries to catch your eye once more but gives up knowing you have made up your mind and steps out your apartment door, nearly hitting her on the way out.

As soon as the door is closed you let yourself break down and slide down the door in pain as you feel your heart break, the echo of her voice still in your head.

Little do you know, Leigh is breaking down in her own car as she replays the conversation over and over knowing every single thing you said was right. It takes Leigh a good hour before she can compose herself enough to drive home, but as she does her heart feels shattered.

******************************

You wake up to the vibrations your phone is making as its screen lights up the room from your bedside table. You let out a groan, cursing whoever is calling you in the middle of the night, and reach over blindly to answer the phone without bothering to check the caller ID.

“Hello” you answer groggily as you try to rub the sleep out of your eyes as you struggle to keep them from drooping shut again.

“Y/n baby. I-I am so s-sorry. I can’t stop thinking about you, please ignore…..forgive me. I-I need you baby…I need you close to me a-all the time. I fucked up…god I fucked up baby, I ne-want you close to me” Leigh's slurred voice comes through your phone.

Starting to wake up you hear by her hiccuping and slurred dialogue that she is drunk somewhere. You sigh, this happens a lot.

Leigh blows up at you and pushes you away and then she ends up at some nightclub or bar drunk and phones you apologising and you fall back into her arms every time.

“Where are you? I’m picking you up” you insist. You start to slowly lose your patience like you always do when she keeps slurring her words and not forming any coherent sentences.

Eventually, after fifteen minutes of softly demanding that Leigh give her phone to a bartender do you find out where she is. The bartender informs you that he will keep her safe and cut her off until you arrive to take her home.

Leigh begins to get upset and sniffles when you tell her you have to hang up so you can drive to her.

“Leigh please baby. I need to hang up so I can come meet you at the bar, I’m coming so you need to hang up. The sooner you hang up the sooner I’ll be there” you bargain with her. Eventually, she relents and makes you promise that you’ll be there soon which of course you do.

After quickly flinging on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt, you grab your phone and keys and set off to retrieve Leigh. The whole drive all you can hear is the echo of a combination of different fights you’ve had with Leigh along with all her moans and bursts of laughter. You can’t help thinking that you can’t keep doing this anymore if she refuses to give you even a little reassurance apart from drunk calls that she feels the same way as you do.

Eventually, you find Leigh at the bar sipping on some water. You head over to her and wrap your arms around her waist and you can’t help but feel elated when you see the way her sad face lights up with adoration when she sees you.

“Y/n” she sighs contentedly as she allows her head to lull back against your shoulder allowing the alcohol to fully possess her. You sigh and shake your head when you realise she’s passed out in a drunken state. You thank the bartender and grab her in a bridal hold and take her out to the passenger side of your car. You gently place her in the seat and buckle her seatbelt before gently shutting the door. You then climb in the driver’s seat and drive her back to her apartment.

You pick up her handbag that she had at the bar and rummage for her keys. Once found, you get out of the car and open her apartment door before racing back to the car to gently lift her out. Once in your arms Leigh wraps her arms around your neck subconsciously and snuggles into you chest sighing in her sleep. You shut the car door and lock it before making your way up the stairs and into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind you.

You place Leigh gently on her bed and take her dress off before tucking her under the covers and rolling on her side to ensure she doesn’t choke if she’s sick during the night. You then head into her kitchen and grab a tall glass of water and some tablets for her head, that she will no doubt require in the morning, and place them on her bedside table.

You kneel beside her and brush the hair away from her eyes and mouth as you gaze at her peacefully sleeping with the occasional soft snore falling past her lips. You think it’s adorable and only find yourself wishing that you could wake up to her at least once.

As much as you are in love with Leigh, you know things will never change. Leigh will go back to wanting to spend everyday with you and as soon as the two of you sleep together again she’ll be gone.

You can’t keep holding on to hope that she might change or hold on to the echo of her anymore.You sigh defeated and place a soft kiss to her forehead before grabbing the blanket on the couch and settling down on it to try to get some sleep.

**************************

When Leigh wakes in the morning a rush of pain hits her forehead and makes her dizzy. Disorientated, she attempts to piece her night together. One minute she was thinking of calling Y/n to apologise in the bar and then everything goes blank. Leigh brings her gaze down and notices she is just in her underwear and her dress is on her chair in the corner of her room. When she glances to the left she sees a glass of water and some tablets on her bedside table.

How the hell did she get home?

She groans as she sits on the edge of her bed at the throbbing in her temples. She takes the tablets and gulps the water down before gathering the courage to get up to retrieve another glass for her dry throat.

Leigh stops in her tracks as she enters into her kitchen and sees you lying passed out on the sofa. So that’s how she got home, she pieces it together and groans internally when the flashbacks of her calling Y/n drunk come to the forefront of her mind. Leigh smiles at how soft and peaceful you look as you sleep and decides to make some coffee to thank you.

She doesn’t deserve you, not after the way she treated you. She acknowledges this but still can’t help but to feel excited that you came to her rescue last night. Surely that means you still care right?

***************************

You wake up to the strong smell of freshly brewed coffee and your stomach rumbling. Groaning and stretching you wake yourself up and blink the sleep out of your eyes as they adjust to the light flooding through Leigh’s living room windows.

“Hey, sleepy head” you hear Leigh softly greet you good morning. You mumble a non-coherent good morning as you sit up and accept the mug of coffee she made for you.

Leigh sits next to you and pulls her legs up to her chest as she cradles her cup of coffee in both hands. You take a sip of your coffee and look over to see her looking at you intently.

“Can we talk?” she questions nervously. You nod but stay silent allowing her to speak first.

“I am so sorry Y/n. I know I keep apologising and you don’t deserve that but I need you to know that I never meant a single thing I said that night. I just snapped because every single thing you said was true, I am scared of losing you. Scared of moving on from Matt. I know about your feelings towards me and I have always been aware of them and I’ve not been fair to you. I do love you Y/n, I am in love with you.

I wish I could take everything I’ve done back and just have stayed with you that night believe me but I can’t. All I can do is promise it will never happen again Y/n, I love you. You aren’t just a good fuck, you’re everything to me and I know I have done nothing to make you believe that. Please baby, just give me one more chance. I’ll do anything. Please baby, just let me love you the way you deserve to be loved, to love you the way you love me” she pleads with unshed tears in her eyes.

You sigh, shaking your head as you stand up, placing your mug on the coffee table.

“I can’t Leigh, I’m sorry. I love you but it's just too late” you conclude as your bottom lip trembles at the threat of spilling all your own unshed tears.

Leigh shoots up and places her coffee down and rushes to your side and brings both her hands to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen. She lifts your face so that your eyes meet hers and you see the pain in her eyes.

“Please baby, it's not too late. I love you just give me a chance” she desperately sobs letting her own tears hit her cheeks, soothingly rubbing her thumbs against the apples of your cheeks.

You reach up and take her hands in yours and you see a glimpse of hope flicker in her hopeful eyes before you lower her hands away from your face.

“You haven’t taken responsibility for holding my heart the way you do. You have known this whole time I have worn mine on my sleeve Leigh so, what else can you expect me to do? If you don’t end it when this is over then you leave me lonely and brokenhearted. Cause everytime you leave me you break me slowly and you’re not there afterwards but you still have a hold on me” you croak.

Leigh tries to reach out for you but you take a step back as she begins to sob begging you to stay, her heart breaking every time you step out of her reach. Is this how she left you every time? Her heart feels like it is slowly shattering and she begins to understand your words.

“If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go when you’re drunk and telling me that you need me close. Cause I will come running back to you everytime Leigh but I don’t think my heart can take this cycle we have anymore. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost because when you leave me all I hear your echo in my mind constantly” you sob pleading for her to let you go as she is pleading for you to give her one more chance.

“I keep holding on to the possibility that you and I can turn into us. But when that hope turns into dust it's worse than a death of a thousand cuts. So please, can you end it when it’s over?” Leigh shakes her head in denial at your plea.

“No baby, I am sorry but I can’t. I want you and you want me just let me make this right I’ll do anything baby, plea-please don’t leave me” her voice catches in between her uncontrollable sobs as she protests and your heart breaks even more than it already has at letting her go. This was all you wanted but you can’t take the chance of her changing her mind again because you won’t survive this time. You hold her tight against your chest and kiss the crown of her head as your tears fall into her hair and you battle with the lump in your throat and pain coursing through your chest.

“Your echo is in my mind, my body and in my heart every time you leave me Leigh and I won’t survive another. I lay in bed in a wreck trying to forget the echos of every argument after sex, the speech you give me everytime, I can’t do it again baby. You have to let me go” you pull her away from your chest and really look at her trying to convey how desperate you are for her to end your suffering. You love her of course you do. Your eyes fill with new tears and the pang of hurt hits your chest and gut once more at the thought of leaving her but you have to and deep down so does she.

You cup her face in your hands and graze your thumbs over her lips and cheeks and place your forehead against hers “If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go. All I hear is your echo. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost. Let me go” you completely break and sob with her.

You both know at that moment it’s over and god it hurts.

You place a kiss to her forehead and let it linger there for what feels like eternity before pulling away and heading towards the door.

Leigh catches your hand, her lip trembling as another shot of pain shoots through her chest as fresh tears drop from her eyelids.

“I love you baby, maybe one day I’ll stop being an echo and bring you peace and love instead. Maybe one day we’ll be together. I’ll always hold on to that hope Y/n but I understand why you can’t. I can’t be your echo anymore and I love you enough to let you be happy and move on without me” she sniffs.

You squeeze her hand one last time “maybe one day” you mumble back before letting go of her hand and walking out her door for the last time.

Leaving Leigh alone once again just like Matt.

Taglist: @chelleztjs18, @aboredastronomer, @bizarrealex , @lizzieolsen89, @natashasilverfox , @meshuganna, @serdiec660, @morinfoxixippy, @when-wolves-howl , @olsensnpm , @annalestern , @kacka84 , @sawsees , @gucchi17 , @serdiec660

#leigh shaw #sorry for your loss #leigh shaw reader #leigh shaw x reader #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen x reader #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x you #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen fanfic #elizabeth olsen fanfiction

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me-uglypretty · 2 years

Text

Leigh's five reasons

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Reader

Summary: The five reasons how Leigh knew she fell in love with you.

Warning: 18+ (General), mention of smut, but mostly fluff!

Word count: 1165

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Reason one—

Leigh dislike attention. If said attention was from people who she knew and genuinely tolerated, then it was okay for her to accept it. But a crowd of people made her sick, especially when their eyes seems struck on her every move. Attention felt like a curse. The look of sympathy crowding their face, even after two years since her husband’s death.

Then, she met you and your attention on her—god, she prayed to the heavens above that your luring eyes on her never fades. Not when your hands move briskly to remove her clothes from her body, fingers slipping pass her core and flicks her bundle of nerves, how your eyes bleeds into hers with the intention of watching her come loose. Your attention never ceases when she’s talking on the phone or when she’s brushing her teeth and you smile at her with the same look.

A piercing feeling. The kind that made her heart bloom when you winked at her and kissed the top of her head.

You remember every little detail about her. Paying close attention to know when she’s at the edge or how she nimble on her bottom lip uncomfortably when she’s nervous. The subtle actions of her body for escape—

“Leigh? Baby, I wanna show you something,” you called out for her, interrupting her conversation with a random guy. He wasn’t pleased, but she smiles adoringly when you pulled her into your embrace and press a gentle kiss on her forehead.

It was so easy for her to give into your hold as you take her away from the noise of people closing in her space.

Reason two—

Leigh hated pointless conversations. Words that aid towards nothing felt like a waste of time to her. Why invest her valuable moment with conversations to fill the silence? She preferred the silence. It became common after his death. People can’t seem to move on or allow her the chance of quiet.

But you in your glorious way—a trait she cursed after the first meeting and generously allowing her mind to fester with its memories of you—is wonderful in conversations. Your words were often laced of kindness and sensibility, based on the occasion. Leigh had seen you angrily spat at someone’s ignorant, and it wrapped her mind into a different stage of adoration. She kissed your hard after the person who faced your rage had walked away. Cheeks heated with anger and you still asked if she was okay.

“I love when you talk.”

And you smiled at her abrupt conversation, “I was talking about the new toaster?”

The smile on her face widens, her hand reaching for you face as she pulls you into compelling kiss—and you were left dazed. Especially when she’s looking at you like you painted the sky blue for her.

“Please never stop talking.”

Reason three—

Leigh hated the colour pink. Too bright, too fake, too—everything she hated. A flashing reminder of her sixteen-birthday party. Puking out her pink cake at the feet of her first crush. The colour of overly fluffy dress that her mother forced her to wear and the same day, her father left.

Out of nowhere, you came before her eyes with a bright pink shirt on your frame. A smile on your face as you said, “On Wednesday we wear pink.”

And she didn’t know it then, but the next week she was wearing a pink shirt too. Mean Girls marathon became a recurrence. If it made your smile as wide, reciting every dialogue, and eyes lighting up as you do—then that’s favourite movie too.

Maybe pink wasn’t bad after all.

Reason four—

Leigh doesn’t forget. In fact, she remembers the first boy who tripped her when she was eight and the stranger who knocked into her shoulder without an apology after. But she does forget her car keys. The bland keychain of an auto company’s name wasn’t evident enough for her to remember. It takes her two trips from her car to her room, then several steps in between where she vaguely remembers her sister taking her keys.

But you were one morning, a teasing smile on your face as you waved your hand with the keys hanging from your fingers. A kiss was pressed so gently on her cheek before she drove off. It was really good day for her.

The next time she saw you, there was a cheeky smile on your face, and you kissed her mouth with a hushed word of surprise. A keychain was hanging from your finger that soon ties around her car keys. The silver chain held a neon coloured butterfly, and it glowed in the dark too.

“Maybe you won’t forget,” you claimed. There was a look of hesitation on your face then you saw her smiling reassuringly at you, “Maybe you’ll think of me instead.”

And she did.

Leigh went to sleep that day with a glowing keychain by her nightstand. The same keychain she held in her hand with such gentleness, and your smiling flashing in her mind every time she sees the neon butterfly.

She doesn’t forget her car keys anymore. It’ll mean forgetting you if she does.

Reason five—

Leigh is excellent at saying no—her mother, her sister, some stranger asking for help—and it was easy as saying yes, but better than people taking advantage of her agreeing with their demand. Saying no became her thing.

Till you came along with the sweetest smile and the glint in your eyes that she ached to see every morning. You asked for her help, something about picking up your fixed laptop and she couldn’t say no. Her answered arrived with a kiss on your lips and her hands pulling you towards her car. The same keychain still intact.

You called her the next day with a hopeful tone of a request, and she came home with a tub of ice cream and a promise to never say no to your sweet face. It became Leigh’s thing to say yes to you and only you—because she loves you.

The next time you smiled at her, the kind that follows with a request, you held her hand first then kissed her cheek and asked, “Would you marry me?”

Leigh doesn’t hesitate when she pulled you into a kiss with her hand grasping your jaw while the other clutching your shirt—as if, you would disappear, and she couldn’t bare living without you.

Yes, the answer fell from her mouth and into your throat as you moaned her name.

Somehow, you changed the reasons of her dislikes and memories that made her sick with the brightest of smiles and sweetest of intention. You wake her into a difference course of life, and she loved every moment of it. Leigh would never accept it at first, but with you—she was ready to fall, and allow her heart to rest in your palm.

#leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x you

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imnotawitch · 1 year

Text

My mom played this song yesterday and it reminded me of all the summer nights we spent by the fire in the backyard with my dad. Some of my favorite memories.

#elizabeth olsen #sorry for your loss #Leigh Shaw #leigh shaw imagine #fleetwood mac #edit #wanda maximoff

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fandomnerd9602 · 7 months

Text

Leigh huffs…

Y/N: what’s wrong?

Leigh: I love you but I’m so afraid I’m gonna screw this up!

Y/N: you won’t

Leigh: how do you know?

Y/N: cause we’re both screw ups so it balances out

Leigh: that…makes sense

#leigh shaw #leigh shaw x reader #elizabeth olsen #sorry for your loss #sorry for your loss imagine #leigh shaw imagine

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gingiesworld · 6 months

Note

Leigh Shaw x Reader.

Hey I don't if you take request.

But can you do where reader is Matt coworker and they learn that Matt been cheating on his wife so they find Leigh to tell the truth. After Leigh and Matt divorce, her and reader start to get closer?

I Don't Hate You

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Requested

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

Word Count: 1.6k+

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop

18+ MINORS DNI

Everyone who knew the Greer's knew how happy they were. Especially on the nights they would invite their friends to their home for game night. Y/N had also been one of the friends that was invited, being Matt's colleague and friend since the two started to work together.

As Matt was an English teacher, Y/N is an art teacher.

What they never expected was the walk in on Matt and Nina in an empty classroom.

"Oh, I'm sorry." They rambled as they looked between the two of them. "Are you?" They gestured between the two of them. "But Leigh?"

"You don't understand Y/N." Matt tried as Y/N licked their teeth.

"I think I understand that you are married to another woman." They told him. "A perfect woman I might add."

"Y/N." Nina tried as Y/N shook their head no.

"You need to end this and come clean." They told him.

"Or what?" He challenged as Y/N scoffed.

"I'll tell her myself." They told him.

"She would hate you just as much as she would hate me." He sneered as Y/N sighed.

"I don't care if she hates me." They told him honestly. "I would rather her hate me and be out of a marriage to an unfaithful bastard." Before Matt could say anything, Y/N had left the room, leaving the two alone.

Once Matt had returned home, Leigh was already in the kitchen cooking dinner. His chest tightened at the idea of coming clean.

"Hey babe, how was your day?" She asked him as he approached the fridge.

"It was good." He nodded as she smiled. "It smells good here." He stated as he watched Leigh get the lasagna from the oven.

"Hopefully it will taste good." She smiled shyly as she started to put the appropriate portions on the plates. He spent the rest of the evening, completely ignoring Y/N's words as he listened to her talk about her day, and this went on for weeks.

"You didn't tell her." Y/N spoke up as they shut Matt's classroom door. "You're still wearing your wedding ring."

"Maybe I did tell her." Matt told them as they shook their head. "Maybe we're working on our marriage. Maybe I have ended things with Nina."

"You didn't." They told him as they walked around his classroom. "I saw you with her, in her classroom. It's funny you choose to do it near my classroom."

"You don't understand." He tried again as Y/N shook their head no.

"I understand very well. You are married and you are being unfaithful to Leigh." They told him. "She is perfect in every way and you are ruining it! You are going to break her heart!"

"What's going on?" Leigh questioned as she looked between the two of them.

"Nothing babe." Matt tried as Y/N scoffed.

"Tell her the goddamn truth." They snarled as their eyes bore in his.

"It's nothing." Matt tried as Leigh raised her hand.

"Just tell me." She told the two.

"Matt has been seeing Nina. She is another teacher here." Y/N told her sadly.

"I was going to tell you." Matt tried as Leigh scoffed and walked away. Matt tried to follow her before he turned around and threw the first punch, causing Y/N to topple onto the desks, causing some to break. "You bastard!"

"I'm afraid that's you." Y/N said as they checked their head. "You did this yourself. You ruined a perfect thing."

"What's going on here?" The principal yelled as he stood in the doorway of the classroom. The two just stared the other down, neither answering the question. "Y/N, go to the hospital." He told him. "You might need stitches and you're both suspended, effective immediately." With that he left as Y/N stood up, walking past Matt and to their own classroom, grabbing their things before leaving the premises.

Leigh was sitting on her mother's sofa, crying as she confided in her. Amy remained soothing her until the doorbell rang hours later.

"Is Leigh here?" Y/N asked as Amy sighed, Leigh followed behind her. "I'm so sorry Leigh."

"Why?" She questioned. "Why did I have to find out like that?"

"I told him to tell you." They told her. "I caught them the other week and I told him he needed to tell you and end his little fling."

"So you knew all of this time?" She whispered as they nodded.

"I wanted to tell you but I wanted him to be the respectable man I thought he was and tell you." They told her. "I know you will hate me either way but I wanted you to know the truth and you deserved to know the truth." With that they left as Leigh watched them disappear inside their car and drive away.

Y/N had kept their distance from the ex couple and their mutual friends. They even got a job at a different school so they never had to see Matt or Nina.

"When you wanted to tell me, did you have other intentions?" Leigh asked as she approached Y/N at the bar.

"I didn't." They answered honestly as they nursed their drink. "I just knew that you deserved to know and I didn't care if you hated me or not, as long as you were happy and out of a relationship with an unfaithful man."

"Well, we are getting divorced." She told them as she ordered herself a cocktail. "I've moved back in with my mom and Jules."

"Good." They smiled as they turned to face her. "You look good." They told her as she smiled, wrapping her lips around the straw as she sipped her drink.

"Thank you." Her eyes soon went to their eyebrow. "Did he do that?" She questioned as they nodded. Finishing their whiskey and asking for another.

"It was after you found out." They admitted. "We both let our anger get the better of us." They thanked the bartender before sipping their drink. "And we both got suspended."

"But Matt's back at work and you're not." She stated as she watched them.

"I got a new position at a different school, it's in the neighbouring district but it's work." They told her. "I wanted to take myself away from it all, I didn't want to see either of them and I hated the reminder of the hate you may feel towards me."

"I don't hate you." She whispered as she gazed at them, an unsure feeling settling within her. "I never did." She looked away at the people dancing. "I guess I hated that you never told me when you first saw them together but then I thought that you thought that I wouldn't believe you, which I probably wouldn't." She looked back at them and then her ring finger. "I don't think I could ever hate you." She whispered as she caught their intense gaze.

The two soon started to spend time together, hanging out whether it be at their apartment or going to the club. Even one night as the two were dancing, celebrating the finalization of her divorce, Leigh started to grind against them as the music blared. Y/N's hands wrapped around her hips as they tried everything to not get hard, even as she turned around in their arms, pressing her lips to theirs, kissing with hunger and lust. When she pulled back, her eyes widened as she soon walked away, leaving Y/N to chase after her.

"Leigh!" They called out as she soon left the building. "Leigh!" They soon caught up to her as she tried to walk home. "What's wrong?" They held her arm, turning her to face them.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." She told them as they let go of her arm.

"It's ok." They reassured her as she shook her head no.

"It's not ok." She told them. "My divorce is finally over and that in there. That kiss felt so right, like we were meant to kiss and more."

"Hey." They cupped her cheeks, a soft smile on their face. "It's ok because I have been wanting to do that since you sought me out. Since you came back into my life."

"What do you mean?" She questioned as they sighed.

"I like you Leigh. Like you a lot." They told her. "I have looked forward to spending time with you, even if it's one hour in a week because I know that I will cherish that hour regardless. I know my feelings aren't likely to be reciprocated but I just." They inhaled sharply. "You deserve to know the truth." Leigh just kissed them softly, caressing their cheek as she rested her forehead on theirs.

"I really like you too." She whispered as they chuckled breathily. "But I don't think I am ready for a relationship, not after Matt."

"I won't hurt you." They told her confidently. "I won't ever look at another the way I look at you because what I feel right now will only grow in our lifetime." She sniffled as they spoke. "I guess on some level I have always fancied you, even when you were with him. That's why I was angry with him, with myself because you got hurt. You got heartbroken because of it." They gazed into her eyes. "Let me put the pieces of your heart back together. Let me be the reason that you smile when you wake up. Let me be the reason you feel happy and excited for the day because I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't ever feel pain like that, ever again." Leigh only nodded as they wiped her tears away, kissing them softly.

"Take me home." She whispered as they just nodded, wrapping their arm around her as the two walked through the streets in the early hours of the morning.

#leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw #lizzie olsen x you #lizzie olsen x reader #lizzie olsen imagine #sorry for your loss

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writing-house-of-m · 10 months

Text

Walk out

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Warnings: Not edited

Word count: 651

Summary: Everything works out for Leigh eventually

A/N: Based on this request. I don't know why people always want Leigh to be sad...

"Don't you dare walk out that door!" Leigh shouts at your back while you have one hand on the door handle.

You sigh defeatedly and turn back to face her, "It's already over Leigh, you won."

"So after everything you're just going to walk away?" Leigh asks.

You sigh then turn your attention back to the table you walked away from. It's a little embarrassing that this is happening in front of Leigh's mother and sister.

"What do you want me to do?"

Jules looks back and forth as she shares some of her popcorn with Amy who is doing the same. Maybe you should charge them for this entertainment.

"It's not like I'm going to flip the board. The rest of my money is there, you can take it all, I'm going to go watch TV," you say.

Before you can turn to leave again you hear Leigh laugh, "Come on baby, don't be a sore loser and sit with us for the rest of the game," she whines. Her clinginess recently has been a welcome change. "Just declare your bankruptcy first," she finishes with a giggle, Jules and Amy joining in.

You playfully roll your eyes, making your way back to your seat. Gathering all your money and property you distribute it according to the rules before monotonously saying, "I declare bankruptcy."

Leigh smiles at you, biting her lip. She leans over and kisses your cheek whispering a smug thank you into your skin before picking up the dice.

"The three of you are always conspiring against me in this damned game," you say looking around the table at the three women.

"We have no idea what you are talking about," Amy remarks in fake seriousness, taking a sip of her wine.

"Yeah, you're sounding a little crazy there Y/n," Jules adds.

You scoff at their playfulness and know you have a long night ahead of you before this game ends.

When the game does finally end you notice Leigh's discomfort as she tries to get up from her seat.

"Here, let me help," you say, moving to Leigh's side. You hold her hand to hoist her up while your other hand stays on her waist to keep her balanced. "I told you, you should have gotten up to stretch throughout the game."

Leigh's arms wrap around your neck, "Yeah, but then I wouldn't have been able to do this now," she says, before kissing your cheek.

"You're such a flirt Leigh Shaw," you chuckle before placing your hands on her swollen belly. "I wonder if this one is going to get that trait from you."

"Well, if not from me then they'll get it from you. Besides, it will be better than how competitive you are during board games."

You tighten your arms around Leigh's waist, "It doesn't matter if you're seven months pregnant, love, you still have to pay rent," you squint your eyes at her. "And you're saying this like you're not competitive? Who was it that wouldn't let it go when I said the wrong weapon out loud even though I had it right on my checklist, last week?" You question, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah… This baby has no chance," Leigh jokes, making you both laugh.

"Alright love birds, you can go home now. The cleaning is done," Jules jests.

You look over to see the table has been cleared of the board game and the snacks that were littered all over it.

Amy says her goodbyes telling you to drive safe once you make it to the front door. Jules does the same before watching you walk to your car.

That night, after you have fallen asleep with your arms securely wrapped around Leigh and her bump and your heavy breathing is the only sound in the silent room. She sighs in content because things finally worked out for her.

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therunawaykind · 2 years

Text

Green Eyes - Part IV

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Reader

Word Count: 14.1k

Warnings: Curses, Drug usage, Sorry For Your Loss spoilers I guess?

A/N: So here it is, we've finally gotten to the last part of Green Eyes, I decided to post this today as a little celebration of me posting my first story on this date a year ago. So what better way to celebrate it and reminisce than by finishing one of my most beloved stories. I am sorry for taking so long on getting this final part out...in all seriousness, I really just did not want this series to end. I just adore Leigh Shaw so much. I already know I'm gonna be trying to come up with some sort of series for her again next. But as an apology for taking this long getting this out for you all. You all are getting a 14k part. I just want to give a special little shoutout to @when-wolves-howl and her work/notes on this series as well. This series honestly wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you. I hope you all have enjoyed this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it. So go forth and get your dose of the beloved and adored Leigh Shaw. The love of my life (sorry 8bit) if y'all see me write and post one or two drabbles for this story after I said this was the finale....you see nothing

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

It's been nearly a year since that whole predicament between you, Leigh and Danny. You were happy to say after that whole situation with Danny appearing at your house which led to the most significant disagreement you and Leigh had about your entire relationship, but you were glad to say things had started to run smoothly for the both of you. Due to the small scare, Danny gave you by appearing at your house, out of the blue you decided to move house purely out of safety and if in one of his bouts of anger he decided to leak your address. Considering you were moving house, you ran the thought by Leigh of her moving in with you albeit you both knew it was far too soon in the relationship for such a thing to happen. So, you both compromised in a sense, Leigh would come and stay with you for three days in the week and spend the rest of the time in her apartment since Amy her mother decided to sell their family house due to her going back to Alaska.

Even though none of you voiced how sad you felt about not living together permanently it was an unspoken agreement between the two of you that it was a bit too soon in the relationship to take this big of a step forward. As well as that Leigh still wasn’t completely certain about moving on with someone completely even if it was with you, so she was taking things slowly and at her own pace that she was comfortable with and she was happy to know you were completely understanding of that as you agreed upon back in Vietnam. Although she couldn’t help but feel bad about it since she felt like she was holding you back, but you reassured her that everything was okay.

Whilst you were back in music and writing mode fully. Leigh was still working with Drew on her essays about her grief and how she is coping and not making the mistake she did before, by leaving you the person that was helping her, and she was doing everything with whilst also working on the advice column as well. However, a thought crossed Leigh’s mind recently and she didn’t know who to bring it up to or even how to bring it up with the possibility of people doubting her. Sure, she is a writer and has been writing things continuously for years, but it was never anything of this size. Leigh wanted to become an author….an actual author. She had a lightbulb moment as she was writing one of her essays where she thought why doesn’t she just put all of her thoughts, experiences and journey through grief and being a widow into one book.

She knew she could just collect all of her essays and throw them into a book but that didn’t please her and didn’t seem authentic enough for her. She just felt and knew some good could come from this if she just figured out how to work this out and who to tell to help her in this venture. Of course, she could tell you, you were her partner she knew you’d support her in any endeavour she wanted, it would also help considering you write for a living as well albeit in a slightly different manner, but then she had Drew who may be suited better for something of this calibre, but Drew may also be too harsh. This was the loop she was stuck in that she couldn’t get out of.

Here she was in your house waiting for you to get home sitting at your table, elbows perched on top of the table whilst her hands are placed on her temples. Staring at a rather unplanned word document for this book, thinking of how to talk to you about this. Just as those thoughts crossed her mind, she heard the jingle of your keys unlocking the door. “Leigh honey, I’m assuming it’s you in here with all the lights on and not some sort of robber or crazy fan.” Leigh chuckled softly as she got up from the chair to approach you “I can assure you that it’s only me Y/N/N.” As you kick the door shut you can’t help but grin as you stare at Leigh “And boy am I so glad to see you.”

“How come, rough day at work?”

You can’t help but let out a groan as you fall back onto the sofa “yeah I guess you could say that, it was just us doing a bunch of tedious stuff-” You notice Leigh arch her eyebrow for you to tell her what exactly you were doing “I was getting to it Leigh, we were just rearranging and changing the littlest of things whether it was with my vocals or the instruments. Nothing writing-wise don’t worry all the lyrics are exactly the same as when you last heard them.” You couldn’t see it, but Leigh was grinning to herself before she spun around and placed a quick kiss on your forehead as she approached her laptop again. As you were staring at Leigh, you squinted your eyes and pursed your lips “what are you doing over there Hun?” You heard the immediate inhale come from her and her hands froze over her keyboard. You couldn’t lie, that reaction did make you quite nervous, but you trusted Leigh.

Very quickly Leigh got her thoughts under control, she cleared her throat and turned towards you slightly “Right I’m going to tell you, but you got to promise me you won’t judge me or anything.” You can’t help but laugh lightly at the statement, but you clear your throat to get serious as you see Leigh look pleadingly at you “I promise you Leigh Shaw I will not be judgy purely because I was the college student who had the wildest dream of becoming a musician…. now here I am doing that honestly quite weird career.” Leigh couldn’t help but laugh at your ramble, she glanced back at the screen again and took a deep breath. “Iwannabecomeanauthorandwriteabook.” You honestly had no other reaction but to stare at Leigh in complete and utter confusion as your mouth opened and closed as if you were a fish out of water.

As much as you tried not to you chuckled slightly but covered it up with a cough “Leigh, honey, sweetie I did not understand a word that came out of your mouth because you talked so fast.” Leigh threw her head back as she sighed “I said that I wanna become an author and write a book.” Leigh watched you expectedly waiting to gauge your reaction; she couldn’t help but smirk slightly as she saw a grin spread across your face. You dashed off of the sofa and pulled her up into a tight hug. “Leigh I am so proud of you, this is such a big deal and I believe in you one hundred percent, I really do hope you know that.” Leigh nodded quickly in response as her arms went around your neck, you gazed at her in pure adoration as you started to speak in a sing-songy voice “soooo what’s it going to be about?” Leigh took another deep breath in as she glanced back down at her laptop screen. “I think It’s going to be about how everyone deals with grief in different ways, specifically focusing on my journey and process through dealing with grief and becoming a widow and how I got to where I am today.”

As you were gazing at Leigh listening to her tangent of what her plan was for this book the soft grin that spread across your face couldn’t be stopped. You always got like this as she rambled about something she adored, whether it be some article she was writing or advice she was giving someone for her advice column. But whatever it was about the discussion of this book this was a far more passionate a side to Leigh you have never seen before with all your years of knowing her. You assumed it is due to the topic of conversation and what she will be discussing in the book, it left you with an immense feeling of pride for your partner.

Maybe you were in a daze for a lot longer than you were anticipating considering the next thing you felt was Leigh’s hands cupping your cheeks “Y/N/N, Babe you good?” You nodded instantly “I’ve never been better.” As your eyes ran over Leigh’s face, she let out a little giggle as she placed a quick peck on your cheek and ran her thumbs over your cheekbones. “Good I’m glad.” You gave one last squeeze to her hips as you loosened your grip around her hips and placed another kiss on her lips. You slowly started walking backwards still keeping your eyes on her “Alright I’m just going to run back upstairs with this bag with my laptop, all my music things and stuff in it and I’ll be right back down, and we can relax for the rest of the night watching movies, that sound good?”

Of course, to be annoying Leigh started groaning “ugh Come on if it’s just your laptop and stuff leave it here bring it up when we go to bed. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in ages.” You grinned as you played with the strap of your bag as you walked up the stairs “I’ll be super quick, you won’t even know I’ll be gone. Your treat, you can pick what movies we watch, what snacks we eat and what drinks…. If it’s alcohol or not you get the idea.” Leigh slowly approached the sofa as she was staring back at you trying to suppress a laugh with her eyes narrowed at you “fine, that’s a good deal. No, go hurry up.” The second those words left her mouth you raced up the stairs to do what you had to do.

That night, as you both were lying in your bed asleep something, happened to Leigh that hadn’t happened to her since her and Danny were at the resort. She actually dreamt of Matt again. Though for some reason this time around she did not want to be dreaming of him, as much as she tried to wake herself up nothing was letting her. So, in her dreamlike state, she decided, albeit reluctantly she let her body relax. And the second she decided to settle she could hear Matt’s voice…faintly but she could hear it.

“Leigh, I’m here. Leigh, stop. Leigh, listen to me.” It was when she finally calmed did it hit her why she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, well for one reason she had you and she couldn’t lie she has never felt happier than when she is around you. However, on the other hand, she literally cannot stomach the sight of Matt since Danny decided to blurt out the fact about what could have happened…...may have happened…. or possibly did happen between Matt and Nina and it made her sick to her stomach. Although she literally could not complain it could be said it was the exact same thing with you and her. God her and Matt together were really…. something when you sit and think about it. So unwillingly Leigh raises her eyes to look at Matt. She swallowed dryly as she spoke “Matt.”

Matt smirked lightly at the sound of his name leaving her mouth “Leigh. I know I can tell you really don’t wanna be here right now. But trust me when I say I will not keep you here for long. I just want to tell you and let you know it is okay to move on and live your life with Y/N. Don’t hold yourself back any longer from letting yourself fall fully for them. It’s been long enough Leigh of you holding yourself back from being in relationships with people. Even holding family members at arm's length. Dive in fully Leigh.” Leigh didn’t notice the tears building up in her eyes until she felt them roll down her cheeks as she nodded subtly and whispered “Thank you, Matt, this was something I needed to hear, and I didn’t even know it. But I want my last thing for you to hear is…I did really love you, I loved you a lot, Matt.” Matt smiled…a truthfully happy smile, one that Leigh hadn’t seen for a long time since Matt’s depression got worse. “I know you did Leigh, and I hope you know I did really love you too.” Leigh stared at Matt as she accepted everything that just happened, the acceptance of everything but before she could say anything else the scene around her slowly started to fade out.

As Leigh woke and came to her senses as her eyes opened in the middle of the night. Her eyes scanned around the room she was currently lying in as she got her bearings again. She realizes she’s in your room, she can hear the soft inhale and exhale of your breathing as you continue to sleep. She turns over to face your back, as much as you two slept together in the same bed you both kept to yourselves and your sides of the bed as you slept. Both not being fully over the guilt and accepting you both can move on now. But as Leigh layed there coming to terms with the dream she just had, as she watched your shoulders rise and fall with each breath you were taking a small smile escaped across her face as what she imagined to be acceptance, finally allowing herself to fall and enjoy this relationship fully. Leigh slowly and very hesitantly propped herself on her elbow as she inched over closer to you making sure to not wake you in the process.

She draped her arm across your stomach and grabbed onto some of your shirt to make sure she was as close as she could be to you. Leigh breathed out a sigh of relief as she laid her head on the pillow beside you and took in your scent. Being able to relax fully for once…in a really… really long time. Leigh knew at that moment that would have to be another topic she would have to discuss in her book…. How it may have taken a while to accept and realize that it is okay to move on and find love again but that it is totally okay and proper. Needless to say, when you woke up the next morning you were surprised to see an arm draped over your stomach and the feeling of Leigh’s breathing hitting the back of your neck. Whilst it made you smile slightly you couldn’t help but feel the annoying gnawing feeling in the back of your mind and stomach. That guilt you still haven’t been able to come to terms with. You knew you’d have to deal with it and face it head-on sooner or later. But for now, you take a deep breath, place your hand on top of Leigh’s and close your eyes with the plan of going back to sleep.

Needless to say, the next few weeks were busy for Leigh, as well as working her normal daily jobs the second she was finished she would either end up in her apartment or yours working on her book. You both were currently sitting in your office Leigh working on her book and you doing what seemed like a hundred and one things. From going between doing work on your laptop, writing things down in your notebook and going from instrument to instrument figuring things out, Leigh honestly couldn’t figure out how you dealt and kept up with it all. You couldn’t lie ever since that morning you woke up with Leigh cuddling you, she had become a lot more affectionate than she already was and was spending a lot more time with you and around you…again not like you were complaining. You had no idea what changed with her, you adored it, but you couldn’t help but feel even more guilty about not giving her the same in return. “Hey Y/N/N?”

You spin in your chair to face Leigh as you hum “mhmm what’s up Leigh?”

“Do you mind if I make you my soundboard for a sec, just to see if what I have written makes sense and well…make sure it sounds good?”

“Yeah sure of course, I mean…you listen to my ramblings far too much it’s the least I could do for you Hun.”

“Okay so uhhh, here is what I have.” Leigh pauses ever so slightly and clears her throat “My analogy has always been, we all have this backpack that we wear that is full of trauma and pain and loss. And we walk through life with this weight on us. When you lose someone, the backpack doesn’t change the person doesn’t become forgotten, you just have to adjust how you get through life with that adjustment and that new weight.” You hear Leigh take a deep breath and her eyes stay stuck on her laptop screen “So um…. yeah, that’s what I have at the moment…. uh how does it sound?” you stare at her mouth agape, you close your eyes and blink rapidly to and get rid of the tears. You clear your throat and shake your head “Leigh that…that is amazing. Perfect even. It… it explains everything so well and in a way that is so easy to understand.” As you gazed at Leigh as she started doing a little happy dance in her seat as she concentrated back on her work, it was in that moment you realized you were going to have to face your issues head-on with this guilt of Matt dying and dating Leigh. It was time to come to terms with it.

As you glanced at the time you realized just how long the both of you had been cooped up in this room, “hey Leigh d’you want me to go downstairs and make some stuff for lunch? Or do you just want me to do like…an early dinner?” You smirked as you saw Leigh’s hands pause over her keyboard as she thought about it “uhhh just make some lunch and we can do something for dinner later.” You push yourself off of your office chair and stride over to her and kiss the top of her head “I’ll try to get it done asap for you miss Shaw.” Leigh grinned up at you as you kissed her head relishing in the contact with you. Leigh watched you as you exited the room and heard the padding of your feet as you went downstairs.

She spun around and looked at your desk, as her eyes were darting across the table, she saw a huge folder with big LS initials on it and in tiny writing were the words, Leigh Shaw. The smile that spread across her face couldn’t be taken off her face as she approached your desk. As she flicked open the folder, she saw a bunch of music sheets with melodies written on them and some with just lyrics. Leigh didn’t realize how much time had passed as she was looking through all these songs that somehow relate to her or are just about her, some unreleased, some for your upcoming album and some she’s never ever seen or heard of. She was in awe right now seeing this collection of work that was all dedicated to her. Leigh was so enamoured she didn’t even hear you come up the stairs and into the room and jumped slightly when she heard the plates and mugs being placed on the desk. She laughed sheepishly as she looked up at you “heh….hi.”

You bit your lip slightly to stop a laugh from escaping as you raised your eyebrows slightly “Hi Hun… so what you got there?”

Leigh started moving her hands in the hair “psshh…it’s nothing…. well, no it is something and I’m sorry for snooping in your things I- I just saw my initials then my name and curiosity got the better of me Y/N I am so sorry.”

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left your mouth “Leigh, Hun it’s fine, you’re fine, you’re okay. It's not like I was exactly hiding that huge folder it was out in the open for literally anyone to see and read. I was just wondering how long it would take you to find it or at least notice it.”

Leigh grinned to herself as she ran her fingers on the page that was opened. “But, wait hold on Y/N there are so many songs here that you have written here that in some shape or form relate to me? I thought the only song you wrote about me before was Green Eyes? Where did all these come from?”

You sighed as you sat down on your chair as you wrapped your arms around her waist and dragged her down with you to sit on your lap. “I always had a bunch of songs written about you Leigh, you…you were my muse….my inspiration. Green Eyes just happened to be the song I finished the quickest and also happened to be the song I was the proudest of but I- of course for obvious reasons didn’t want it to be released. The others just took so long to write but they did end up getting finished. A lot of them were during our college years…but as you now know a lot of them are either getting put on this album or the next or the next or the one after that.” Leigh couldn’t help but laugh at you droning on about the possibilities of what songs could be on what albums, so she did one of the few things she knew would shut you up.

Leigh rolled her eyes and placed her hand over your mouth to quieten you down. “Okay Y/N sweetie, I get it now.” You stared up at her with soft eyes and you made sure when she least expected it, you decided to lick the palm of her hand. With the look of disgust that crossed Leigh’s face, you couldn’t help but laugh as she wiped her hand against your shirt as Leigh whined “ugh Y/N you’re so gross, why’d you have to ruin the moment.”

As your laughter died down you stared at her “I’m very sorry, how inappropriate and very gross of me to do such a thing. But you can’t deny that you don’t love me, you love me very much.”

Leigh sat against you with her head on your shoulder by your neck as she grabbed her food to start eating it. “You are very right, I do love you, I love you a whole lot.” You both smiled happily as you reached over for your food and started eating together.

A few days after that incident, the piece that Leigh wrote would not leave your head, which of course ended up in you basically thinking about Matt constantly and you trying to move towards this acceptance and get on with your life and relationship. So, you tried to move towards that acceptance the only way you knew how…albeit you felt slightly weird about it. You started writing a song about Matt…. a song for Matt? Either way, it was a song aimed at Matt. which eased your guilt ever so slightly. Leigh told you she’d be gone for a while since she was meeting up with Drew about her advice column and to discuss her book with him as Leigh said “he seems like he’d know how to help me with well….this book stuff.”

So here you were now walking in the graveyard looking for Matt’s gravestone to…. talk to him or maybe more so talk at him. As you were navigating around the graveyard you started clicking your tongue as you muttered to yourself “alright Matt where the heck are ya. I’ve been wandering around this graveyard for quite some time now.” As you continue to aimlessly walk through searching for his gravestone, eyes scanning every inch of the graveyard. If you weren’t so apprehensive about doing this you would’ve found the next thing to happen quite cute, although it was probably coincidental. Your eyes had just gotten a glimpse of the name Matthew James Greer on a headstone just as a butterfly landed on it. As you approached his grave a million and one thoughts crossed your mind. Honestly, you didn’t really know why you came here, you met him once as a favor to perform at his wedding for his bride…his wife… who was your best friend in college…. who you are now dating. Maybe you should have made more of an effort in college to get to know him better, for all of your sakes.

You clear your throat “Uh Hi Matt, this is kind of odd…. mostly because I know you can’t respond to me but also because you probably only know me as the person that performed on your wedding day for your wife Leigh. I don’t know how much you actually heard about me from Leigh after that performance or even before when you both started dating during college because-” you can’t help but shake your head and laugh slightly

“if Leigh ever did mention it to you before something about a best friend, she had during college that was always stubborn and too busy to meet you because of their music. That was me, I was that best friend. Thinking back now I obviously wasn’t the best because I should’ve tried to get to know my best friend's boyfriend regardless of anything else that was going on or being felt. I guess I just want to actually introduce myself to you as Leigh’s best friend…even though I know it is a very odd and weird situation. But nevertheless, Hi Matt, nice to meet you I’m Y/N Y/L/N Leigh’s best friend. We can ignore the music career for a moment. I just want to tell you…. if you’re hearing me somehow. That I kept my distance from you and Leigh because I had feelings for her for years all the time back in college and I didn’t know how to cope with that and thought I didn’t have a chance with her. So, I saw she was happy with you, and I let her be at her happiest with you. Those few hours I saw the two of you interacting on your wedding day, I knew you were good together and looked out for each other…now I of course don’t know the whole ins and outs of your relationship, but I know you cared for her and did your best and you truly loved her. And I know it’s probably weird now your wife’s new partner coming to talk to you about all of this…. but I just want you to know I will protect her with everything I have, and I will shower her with all of the love physically possible. I….I guess I just want you to know that she’ll be safe with me…or well to the best of my abilities.” you paused slightly to wet your lips after talking so long.

“Although about my music career, a few days ago Leigh read me an excerpt from a piece she had written for a book she’s writing about her journey with grief, acceptance and moving on. There was just something about it that hit me very hard, which resulted in me very quickly writing a song about, you, Leigh and I guess me kind of? And this weird situation. Considering I don’t know you well or at all. But it was therapeutic for me…. hugely. I never reference any of us by name and I’ve ever so slightly changed what actually happened, but it just sums up how I feel or well maybe felt about this whole situation it's called The Good Side. And I imagine it all probably could’ve been handled and dealt with better. But I-uh I just wanted to let you know first before anyone…not even Leigh knows. I’m not 100% sure if it’ll actually end up on any album of mine…but maybe it will if I get the courage to share it with people. But…...yeah thank you, Matt.”

You take a deep breath after that speech and place your hand on top of his headstone as you tap it slightly as you walk backwards staring at his name. Before you finally turn around and walk away with home in mind.

What you didn’t know earlier that day before Leigh went to meet with Drew again for her book and advice column. She went to the graveyard to visit Matt and talk to him, she couldn’t lie, she was ashamed she wasn’t going as much as she should have. Leigh stared at his name as she fumbled with a ring she was holding in her hands.

“This is going to sound terrible when I say it out loud first. I’m not staying here long to talk because well I have to meet with Drew to discuss work and my book…I’m writing a book about my grief and my journey with it…. It’s called Sorry for Your Loss. But the reason I’m not staying here long is that I have another way I actually want to do this…to speak to you. Remember that time when my mother got in contact with a friend, and I took drugs to meet you on your plane instead of mine. Well, I’m going to try to do that again so we can have an actual conversation and I know you’ll be hearing what I say, and you can respond accordingly. But anyways why I’m actually right now to bury this little ring I bought for it to be with you…and for you to have a piece of me at all times with you. Because you weren’t getting my actual wedding ring, whilst I may not wear it as much now, I still want it, to hold and to keep, to remind me of what I had once and what was good to me and for me once. That it wasn’t all just made up and a lie that my brain made up. Maybe at some stage, I’ll end up wearing my engagement and wedding ring on a necklace or something…. maybe…but there is a possibility it might get lost….and you know how I feel about losing things…especially things that are precious to me. But now I’m rambling and not doing what I’m here to do.”

Leigh kneels down into the grass as she starts digging a hole for the ring she bought, making sure it was deep enough that nothing would happen to it. Leigh sits back onto her legs as she stares at Matt’s name engraved into the stone and the now covered hole that’s protecting the ring. Leigh sighs as she stands up dusting off her pants and hands. She smiles sadly down at the plot of land as she whispers “I’ll see and talk to you soon Matt, I have someone else I need to go talk to.”

As Leigh was approaching the door to their apartment, she couldn’t help but repeatedly mumble the phrase to herself “please don’t slam the door in my face, please don’t slam the door in my face.” She waited patiently in front of the door, she knocked and as the person approached the door on the other side, she could hear their footsteps. As soon as they opened the door Leigh’s head shot up to look at the person as she nervously bit her lip. The second Danny realized it was Leigh on the other side of the door he promptly went to slam the door she ran over and stuck her foot in between the closing of the door as she pressed her hand against it. “Danny, Danny, Danny. I won’t be here long I’m just here to say sorry and apologize for everything I did and how I acted around you. It was frankly unforgivable and horrible. So, if you just give me a few minutes and I’ll be out of your hair for good. You’ll never have to see me again. As Leigh was scanning Danny’s face trying to get a read on what his answer was going to be. Danny loosens his grip on the door and leans against the door frame as he lets out a breath and nods. “Okay say whatever you have to say.”

Leigh lets out a deep breath as she fumbles with her hands and fingers. “Danny I’m so sorry for how everything went down and happened between us since Matt’s death. How everything happened was truly unforgivable. As terrible as it is to say it was a way for me to deal with my grief…it was a weird part of my grieving and healing process. Because…. Because I think in a way even if I didn’t admit it openly to me or to you…. though you may not want to hear this…you reminded me of Matt…. you- you were that last link to Matt for me and when we were doing whatever it was that we had going on. I was acting how I was when I was with Matt and honestly, it makes me sick that I treated you as a copy of him and as a coping mechanism-” Leigh paused as she ran her hands over her face and groaned as she mumbled “God this is going to sound so pretentious of me but I wrote something the other day for my book specifically about that time in my life and grief I wrote. We suffered a loss, and you don’t make major life decisions when you’re reeling from a loss. And that is exactly what we did, what we all did, we made a huge decision at the peak of our grief that changed our whole dynamic, that we cannot even stand to talk or even see each other anymore. For Christ's sake I was married to your brother, to me we’re still family no matter what. But due to the choices that we made it’s ruined that dynamic. So, I just want to say again I am truly sorry for what I did Danny and for treating you as if you were Matt, and as a coping mechanism.”

When Leigh finally gets the courage to look Danny in the eyes she swallows dryly as she sees his unreadable expression. She raises her eyebrows slightly to get any response. He starts to nod slowly as he clears his throat. “Leigh, your apology is accepted, and I hope you know I’m sorry as well for how I treated you. As you said we were at the peak of our grief. But um…. I’m not going to say we can never see each other again or hang out since as you said we still are family…at least in a sense. I just- I just need to get to the grips of our dynamic now so we can regularly talk Leigh. But for now, I think…I think this is it.”

Leigh smiles and nods sadly as she takes in everything Danny is saying.

Just as Danny is about to close the door again, he pops his head out around the corner “but that’s not saying you’re not going to get a random emoji sent to you from time to time…you know just so you know I’m alive and you’re alive…right?”

Leigh lets out a watery laugh as she smiles and nods hastily. “Definitely, Danny. See you around.”

Danny smirks as he slowly closes the door “See you around Leigh.”

Leigh was meant to go back to her own apartment once after her meeting with Drew and with her mom’s friend Neil again to get some DMT. She decided it would be best to have you around in case something went wrong. The minute she got in the door she leaned her back against it to close it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she tried to relax and calm herself after the exhausting day of fixing and making things right with so many people. As well as putting the finishing touches on her book and getting ready to decide to either publish it independently or with a publishing house. She was convincing herself it would all be worth it in the end.

As you came down the stairs you looked over at Leigh leaning against the door with her eyes closed. You chuckled softly “hey Hun, you, okay? Are you just taking a lil nap by the door?” Leigh grinned the second she heard your voice “I’m okay sweetie, I was just taking a minute to myself after a long day.”

Your brows furrow as look at Leigh “Long day? What happened? Is there anything I can do to help?” Leigh smirked as she walked over and pulled you into a hug “no you’re okay, I just went to visit Matt’s grave today, after that, I went to talk to Danny to clear things up and apologize for the way everything was handled and I finalized everything writing-wise anyway when it comes to the book so now I just have to decide if I want to publish it independently or with a publishing house.” You smile as you place your lips against the top of Leigh’s head and place multiple kisses on top as you mumble “I am so freaking proud of you and you for writing this book.” You pause slightly as you clear your throat “but um how was being at Matt’s grave and talking to Danny again after so long? Oh, also I visited Matt’s grave today to just talk to him as Y/N Y/L/N Leigh’s college best friend not as the musician Y/N. Well…. Until the end when I said I wrote a song with him, you and I in mind.”

Leigh hums against you “The visit with Matt was good, I just buried a lil ring I bought not so long ago so he’d have a piece of me with him all the time because I didn’t wanna get rid of my wedding ring. The talk with Danny went okay I apologized for everything, especially how I treated him. We may not talk or meet up for a while but that’s okay. I know I’ve done everything I can. Huh…. odd we both went to visit Matt on the same day…. But did it do you any good?”

Leigh grins into your chest as she feels you nod above her “yeah, yeah it did.” You feel Leigh tense up slightly in your embrace “Leigh, you good?”

Leigh pulls away from you slightly to look up at you “there’s one thing I wanna run by you, that I’m going to do I just want to know if you’re going to be okay with it. Though I have done it before.” Your hands grip her jacket a little tighter as you nod hesitantly waiting for her to elaborate. “So before whilst you were off in Vietnam, my mom called up one of her hold friends called Neil and he gave me DMT a-”

“a hallucinogenic, psychedelic drug.”

“Yes, exactly that, because Jules dreamed about him during that time, and I wasn’t having dreams of him anymore. So, I just wanted to see him so one of the only ways to do that was by this drug. So today when I went to visit him. I told Matt I would be contacting this friend again to get this drug to talk to him fully, to tell him everything. Everything that has happened and what I have coincidentally put into the book as well. What way me and you were in college, how I will always truly love him but honestly will probably never get over his death and all the unanswered questions I have in regard to him. But I have to move on and go forward and that is with you Y/N, I’d like to think the love of my life. And really just how fucking annoying it is and was when people tiptoe around me and everything else, they do that irritates me. I just…I just want to know if you’re okay with me telling him all of this even though it’s all going to be in my book anyway. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable in this whole situation.”

You shake your head hastily as you placed kisses around her face, “You Miss Leigh Shaw do whatever you have to in this situation to make you feel at peace. I’m…although I hate the word a celebrity, I’m sure people would find out these things about me or possibly already have. Do what you got to do Miss Shaw.”

“You are the greatest partner ever Y/N Y/L/N.” She leans up on her tippy toes as she places a chaste kiss against your lips. “But I do have one more question to ask, would you mind staying in the room with me and doing this whole thing with me. Just in case something goes wrong or happens that I need you right after?”

You nod instantly as you look down at her with soft eyes “I will do whatever you need me to do Leigh. I am right here, and I am never leaving your side.” You both pause briefly as you take a deep breath and intertwine your hands together as you walk up the stairs together.

As you get Leigh situated in a comfortable position on the bed and have the lights in the room dim as you hold the pipe between your fingers. “You ready for this?” Leigh nods slowly as she eyes the pipe as you bring it to her lips. “Wait wait wait, before you do anything.” you look at her with your eyebrows raised waiting for her to continue “can you play some of the instrumentals of your music on your phone whilst I’m doing this thing. Not exactly loud, just faintly. So, when I come back to here, I’m not going crazy thinking I’ve gone deaf or something from this.”

You can’t help the chuckle that leaves your lips as you nod and place a quick peck on her lips “of course Hun.” You grab your phone out of your back pocket and do as she says. You raise the pipe up to her lips once again, she leans forward as she places her lips around the opening of the pipe. When you see her eyes start to close and her body goes limp you make sure to lean her back slowly and softly onto the bed. As you sit at the foot of the bed.

One second Leigh was present in the room with you the next thing she knew she was standing in the same room as last time when she did this to see Matt, however the only difference this time was that there was no glass separating the two of them. Without even thinking about it she ran straight for him and embraced him in a tight hug as she just laid her head against his chest for a few minutes. She couldn’t help but feel calm as she felt his hand rubbing her back after a few minutes of standing in silence and hugging Matt, she decided to pull away from him to look at him. “I- uh it is really nice to see you again Matt.”

Matt smiled slightly as he nodded “it’s good to see you as well Leigh.”

She chuckles humorlessly as she says “I guess I should start the discussion I actually wanted to say to you now. Because I don’t know how long this state or place is going to last. Everything I’m discussing with you here I’ve written into my book, you’ll just be getting a much more condensed version of it.” Matt nods slowly as he gazes at Leigh. “I know Y/N visited you at your grave and said whatever they had to say to help them. That can stay private because it was for them, they needed it, I’m just glad they did something that helped them even if it was ever so slightly. But um, I guess I wasn’t completely honest with you when it came to our wedding and even after it. Because um the reason why I’d be playing Y/N’s music so much was that they were my best friend in college so, of course, I continued to support them. But I feel like I should’ve made it clear with you from the start when I was referencing my best friend in college that it was them, I was talking about. I- I guess at that time with you I think I saw them as still my little secret no one really knew about them yet when I should’ve just been honest-”

Leigh gets cut off by Matt’s laughs “Leigh before you carry on, I have to say I also think you weren’t telling me about them because there were feelings there for them that you never knew you had…. or maybe you did know and pushed them away because it was so long ago. But I have a feeling that’s why you never mentioned them to me as well in case you said or let something slip that I shouldn’t have known.”

Leigh stares at him wide-eyed as her mouth is slightly agape as she nods slowly as she comes to that realization “yeah…. yeah, that too. I will say though Y/N in college and still, now they haven’t changed they truly were amazing and the best person you could ever meet. I’m… it does make me slightly sad and upset they never truly got to meet you. We really had the best of times, they’d listen to all my ramblings and deal with me being difficult and stubborn. Much like you dealt with me whenever I was like that. I’d listen and try to help them out to the best of my abilities when it came to music and lyrics much like I still do today. We just worked well together. But I guess them pulling away from me in college and even after college it all makes sense now since I found out they had feelings for me. I do really wish they had met you because now that I think of it you both are kind of similar, I imagine you both would have gotten on well together and you both would have been great at annoying the hell out of me yet have been very protective of me no matter what.”

Matt smiles at Leigh softly full of adoration “I am really glad you’re happy now Leigh by yourself and with Y/N because it does sound like they do bring out the best in you.” Leigh laughs quietly to herself, and she looks down at her shoes to hide the slight blush on her cheeks at the thought of you.

When it hits her the next topic, she wants to discuss is Leigh feels the tears building up in her eyes she shuts them quickly and blinks rapidly trying to get rid of them. But she hears a faint “Leigh.” come from Matt's mouth so she slowly raises her eyes to meet his “you know you don’t have to hide your emotions from me, I understand that this is a lot for you to go through and then have to talk about it. With the person that in a way caused those hard times. Leigh shakes her head rapidly as if it was the most absurd thing he could have ever said.

“No no, it’s fine. I just- I want you to know yet again that I did truly love you and I think I always will no matter what purely because…okay maybe this is going to sound a bit cliche but that was our own unique relationship and love and no one can or will take that from us, Matt. But I also think…no no I know that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over your death no matter how hard I try, no matter who is around me. But I…I can’t stay in that place of grieving feeling stuck forever feeling hurt and pain because I just won’t be able to survive that, living in that pain, hurt and grieving for as long as I live. I can’t survive. I won’t survive it. So, I have to move on with my life and move forward. As much as that may sting as well, it just has to be done.”

Leigh sighs softly as she realizes she’s nearing the end of her discussion as she leans against the wall in this weird place. “This …one of the last things I wanna say to you isn’t directly to do with you, it’s just about grief in general and what annoys me about it. I had this conversation with Danny quite soon after your death, but I just need to say it to someone else again. I hate when people use the word condolences. I hate how in the beginning, everyone wants to send you flowers and donate to, like, a foundation for your dead person. And then they stop calling and writing and doing nice things for you because they're over it, and they expect you to be over it. I hate running into someone I haven't seen in a long time, and I know they know you’re dead. But we have an entire conversation, and they never bring you up. They never say they're sorry. They don't ask how I'm doing. They just pretend like everything's fine. I hate that.”

She runs her hands over her face as she takes a breath “someone sent in a question before to my advice column and it was about a break-up right after you had passed, and it has been stuck in my head ever since and especially how I was going to answer it. What they asked me was, ‘Everyone keeps telling me that I'll get over him. Everyone keeps telling me it's not the end of the world, but if that's true, then why does it feel like the end of the world?’. The answer I had typed out was ‘The reason everyone keeps telling you it's not the end of the world is because it's not the end of their world. They don't have to figure out how to live inside a world that's over. You do.’ And I think I can finally say…. I’ve figured out or at least starting to figure out how to live inside a world that doesn’t involve you.”

Matt grins at Leigh albeit sadly he takes her into a warm and loving embrace. “I’m very proud of you Leigh and I just know you’re going to achieve great things.” As Leigh has her head pressed against her chest a thought comes to mind and she mumbles “Hey Matt, can I ask you one last question before I go?”

Matt tenses slightly but nods albeit hesitantly “yeah go ahead.”

Leigh takes a deep breath as she steps away from him “Matt, how did you die? Was it an accident or did you do it on purpose?”

Matt lets out an exasperated sigh “Leigh…”

Leigh shakes her head slowly “no Matt just tell me. I need some sort of closure for that question”

Matt sighs as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath “okay okay, but you have to promise me this stays with you. No one else gets to know.” Leigh nods instantly as she stares at him with soft eyes.

“Leigh it was-”

One second you were nearly falling asleep with your eyes closed at the foot of the bed, the next thing you heard Leigh gasp as her eyes shot open. You quickly ran up to sit beside her as you ran your hands all over her face making sure she was okay. “Hey hey, Leigh, Hun, you, okay? Are you good?”

Leigh instantly softens at your touch as she subtly leans into it and nods slowly as she whispers out “I’m good, no need to worry about me. I think we both just need to enjoy a relaxing night for the two of us night after a rather long day.

It's been a few weeks now since that night. Leigh decided to publish her book with a publishing house. It was no surprise to you and everyone else that her book was very well received and quickly rose to be a number one bestseller. As for the album…that was actually finalized, and the talks of the tour had started and finished very quickly. As your management started booking venues and states for you to tour. Which…. You had yet to tell Leigh about not with bad intentions you just wanted this time to be about her and the success she was having. You didn’t wanna rain on her parade.

This explains where you are right now, which is in a room standing beside Leigh as she talks to all of her friends that came to a little party to celebrate Leigh’s book being labelled as a number 1 best seller. You knew Leigh was a bit sad that her mother Amy and Jules weren’t there to celebrate with her although she was trying to convince you it was fine, she had you to celebrate with her and that’s all she needed. But little did she know you got into contact with them and luckily it didn’t take much convincing for them to come to visit and celebrate with their daughter and sister.

You lean your head against the top of Leigh’s as you both hear a knock. Leigh’s about to answer it as you tug her backwards by her dress, you place a kiss against her temple as you mutter “I’ll answer it, you stay with everyone else Hun.”

Leigh looks at you with furrowed brows “but everyone is here already Y/N/N.” You give her waist a tight squeeze and a tight-lipped smile as you go answer the door. Leigh can’t help but eye you suspiciously as she watches you walk off but ends up shrugging it off and falling back into conversation with Becca and Drew. As you pulled open the door you let out a sigh of relief as you saw the two people Leigh wanted most right in front of you. You grinned as you pulled them both into a tight hug not quite believing they were actually here. After a few minutes, you heard Amy say “alright, where’s the girl we should be celebrating today?”

Your smile couldn’t get any bigger than it already was yet somehow it did “She’s right inside the last time I saw her she was talking to Drew and Becca about something.” You moved to the side of the door to let Amy and Jules through as you closed the door behind them. The second you had the door closed you heard Leigh faintly say “honey, who was at the door?”

You walked in behind Amy and Jules standing behind Leigh “why don’t you look behind you and find out?” Simultaneously everybody looked to where your voice came from as a collective gasp was heard throughout the whole room. Leigh spun around to face you with her mouth agape the second she saw her mother and sister, the tears streaming down her face didn’t even register with her as she ran over to embrace both of them. You smiled softly at the three of them as you stepped back to give them their own time together but before you could go anywhere Leigh stuck out her hand and grabbed your shirt and pulled you over to them to join the hug.

As you’re all still standing in the hug one of the members of Leigh’s team walks in and clears her throat. “Alright everybody we have a very special and important announcement to make for the main woman of the day. All of us are very proud and honoured to have worked with Leigh for the last while and hope for us to work together more in the future. But for now, we are all very pleased to say that Leigh Shaw’s very first book Sorry for Your Loss is officially a number one bestseller. -” She gets interrupted by a round of applause and cheers from everyone in the room as Leigh starts to get teary-eyed again. As the applause and commotion start to die down, she clears her throat “and with that, we have an announcement to make Leigh has known about this for a few days now but everyone swore her to secrecy so she couldn’t even tell her amazing, brilliant partner Y/N, sorry about that by the way.” You shake your head and laugh slightly as Leigh’s grip on your shirt only seems to get tighter. “But we are proud to say our very own Leigh Shaw will be going on a book tour around America for a few weeks which will be starting very soon in a couple of weeks' time.”

You tense up ever so slightly but make sure to keep a smile on your face as you lean over and kiss the top of Leigh’s head and mumble “I’m so proud of you.” Unbeknownst to you, Leigh noticed how you immediately tensed at the news and plastered on what you thought was a believable smile. She could take a guess that you had news about your career and album but weren’t drawing attention to it, so all of the focus was on Leigh for a change and not you.

As it was nearing the end of the gathering and people were leaving, the anxious feeling you got since Leigh’s announcement only grew tenfold as you got told more information about when her book tour starts. Only because you knew you were going to have to tell her this before it got too late. Considering the party was at your house you walked Amy and Jules up to the spare rooms you had to rest for the night. You paused at the top of the stairs and took a deep breath in as you heard the clinking of glasses and plates as Leigh cleaned up downstairs. You very slowly and hesitantly started walking down the stairs to approach Leigh just as she walked past you into the living room with two mugs of tea. “You coming in here or not Y/N?” You walk into the living room albeit apprehensively as you sit beside Leigh. Which she wasn’t a fan of as she made you sit sideways so she could lie in between your legs as she handed you your mug. She spoke softly “you tensed up.”

Your brows furrowed slightly as you sip your tea “huh?”

“When the announcement was made about my book tour you tensed up and plastered on a smile. So, what haven’t you shared with me or well any of us yet.”

You let your head fall against the back of the sofa as you sigh “Well as you know my album releases in a few days and my tour starts very shortly after that. I think it could be just before your book tour starts or maybe even the same week.”

Both of you sat in silence for a few minutes as you both let this new information linger in the air and just fully sink in. Leigh turned around slowly to face as she came to the realization “Yo- you won’t be able to come with me on my book tour and I won’t be on yours.” You looked at Leigh sadly as you shook your head trying your best to keep the tears at bay “No, no I won’t be with you on your book tour, and it pains me to say I won’t be there with and for you.”

Leigh’s eyes dart rapidly around the room and across your face as she quickly tries to think of some solution on the spot “B-but can’t we- isn’t there something? -” Leigh deflates slightly as it hits her all at once “there’s nothing we can do to change this is there?”

You place both of your mugs onto the coffee table as you move your hands onto her cheeks to stop her tears from escaping. As your words come out broken “no there really isn’t anything we can do.”

The sobs that escaped Leigh surprised the both of you as she fell forward and cried into your chest. It felt like her whole body was hurting her with the sobs that came from her. You wrap your arms around Leigh and lift her up onto your lap as you rub her back. “It’s only for a few weeks Leigh, I believe we can do this, we can get through this, I’ll make sure we call, text, facetime and literally whatever else is possible in this day in age. To make sure we have constant contact even though I know it’s going to be a struggle and it’s going to suck with how much work we will have to do constantly whilst we’re both away. But I got you, you got me, we have each other. I’m-” you pause slightly to laugh “I’m going to say some lyrics to a new song I’ve been working on, it is probably going to sound very cliche and cheesy, but I like it, so I hope you do too. If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you. You’d be the spoon, dip you in honey, so I could be sticking to you.”

You feel the movement of Leigh laughing before you actually hear it as she hums in agreement “you were right that was very cliche and cheesy. What other lyrics do you have written for that song?”

You throw your head back in fake thought “Umm…. literally nothing that’s all I got so far besides knowing it’ll probably be called Daylight.”

Leigh leans her chin against your chest “that’s cute but why Daylight?”

You groan even more at that question “great even more cliche and cheesiness “Because whenever I see you, you just are the epitome of Daylight to me. You just shine so bright and bring a level of warmth into my life that no one else has ever been able to achieve. And that’s been since college not just recently.”

Leigh grins as she pats your cheek slightly “You’re cute. But come on let’s get ready for bed we have a busy few days ahead of us.” You sigh as you see her stand up holding her hand out for you to take. You intertwine your fingers between hers as you reluctantly stand up clean up the last few things and walk upstairs.

It had finally reached the day you both were dreading, the day you both wish you could’ve put off for as long as physically possible. You both over the last few weeks had naturally been stuck to each other's hips. Everywhere you could go you went together besides when it came to situations such as work or just using the bathroom. You both soaked up as much time together as physically possible. Here you both were standing outside your front door looking at the two different cars taking you both to two different states. That was another thing you both did. You basically studied your dates to see if you both were in the same states at any moment in time…. easy to say that wouldn’t be happening. You clenched your eyes as you turned towards Leigh and placed your hands on her cheeks as softly as you possibly could as if any rougher touch would shatter her like a porcelain doll. You placed a long passionate kiss on her lips trying to delay the inevitable. However, you slightly ruined the kiss by smiling slightly when you felt Leigh’s hands wrap around your wrists.

Leigh pulled back slightly as she rested her forehead against yours, you gazed at her softly as you murmured “It’s just us, always. No matter what, okay? Leigh nodded slowly as she gave you another kiss. You both reluctantly stepped away from each other as you walked toward your separate cars. As you both opened the doors you gave each other a look of understanding and nodded subtly to each other. That was the last thing you both saw as you sat in the car.

You were happy to say the first two weeks of the tour were easy and good for both of you. Both of you were getting good sleep, texting each other updates even if the other was busy and Leigh was even sending you pictures of your posters and billboards in different states and places as she travelled. So of course, in return, in every bookshop you passed that displayed Sorry for Your Loss in the window you took pictures and sent them to Leigh. Today was 2nd day off in a row which you were thankful for because your voice was going, and it needed the rest. So here you were lying on the bed in your hotel room in New York? Honestly, you couldn’t remember. But you were at your happiest because you were on facetime with your amazing partner who was also resting in her hotel for the night. However, she was giving out to you claiming “Y/N/N Honey as much as I love you, you need your voice for your job shouldn’t you not be talking altogether?”

You roll your eyes ever so slightly as you shrug “I mean I guess I should be but… I needed to hear your voice and actually see you in front of me for a few hours. I’m getting sick and tired of texting and not being able to hear or see you. And even then, I probably would’ve used voice notes and you would’ve been giving out to me through text.” Leigh rolled her eyes in response, but you could see the grin she was trying to hide from you. You zoned out slightly as you stared at something placed on the desk on the other side of the room, not realizing Leigh was trying to get your attention. But quickly came back to reality when you heard her softly say “hey honey, you good?” Your eyes dart back to the screen and grin as you nod. Leigh chuckles nervously

“okay, okay but honey why are you looking at me like that? You never looked at me this way before?”

You looked at her confused “I- I uh I dunno what way I just looked at you sorry, I guess I just miss you a lot that’s all Hun. But if you didn’t like it, I’ll try not to look at you that way ever again.”

Leigh rapidly shakes her head “no no no it’s okay I liked it, it- it was just new that’s all. But um the reason I was trying to get your attention Y/N/N was that I got to go get some sleep since I have to be up early tomorrow. But I loved that we got a day to just kind of exist together again for a few hours…. even if it was through facetime. It helped a bunch.” You smiled softly at her as you nodded “okay Hun, you go get some well-deserved sleep yeah?” Leigh grinned softly as she blew a kiss towards the camera and quickly disappeared off your screen.

It was the next few weeks where the issues and problems had started between the two of you. You were both getting more tired and stressed, which led to you both being quite cranky when it came to your usual texts and calls. You honestly couldn’t even recall what your arguments would be about, one second, you’d be talking filling each other in on any interesting interactions you’ve had. Then you’d both be yelling at each other. The only cause of the tension between the both of you was the possibility of not sleeping well due to becoming so accustomed to sleeping with and next to each other. Sleeping in a double bed alone with no one beside you after so long, the bed felt huge, you felt lost in it.

Which brought you to the conversation you were about to bring up now with Leigh. Everything was calm between you both so far, but you knew this could set her off. “Hey, Leigh?”

She hummed in response

You sighed, that was another addition during this time short snappy answers coming from both sides. Just no length, no detail at all to these messages. “Leigh is it alright if I ask you a question?”

Leigh tore her eyes away from whatever she was doing and stared at the screen as she raised her eyebrows waiting for you to continue.

You muttered a fuck under your breath when you saw her stare “I was just going to ask, how you’ve been sleeping whilst you’ve been away? I’m just wondering because-”

Leigh narrows her eyes at you and bites her lip slightly “What, what is it Y/N? Do I look tired and exhausted is that why you’re asking me? Am I not the pretty, beautiful Leigh you fell in love with?”

You stare at the screen shocked and puzzled as you stutter out “Wha- what no Leigh, you didn’t let me finish my question-”

Leigh cuts you off yet again “No, you know what Y/N am I so fucking sorry that me missing my partner, missing being around my partner 24/7 has such a negative effect on my looks, how I act, how I interact with people constantly, working and travelling constantly and driven me to a level of stress I didn’t even know existed. I am so sorry that my work has affected me in such a negative way that you can’t stand it anymore, possibly can’t stand me or even like me anymore. I am so sorry for doing that to you-”

You absent-mindedly had started pacing the room you were currently staying in “Leigh…oh my God Leigh will you let me finish and get out the rest of my fucking question? You’re freaking out and blowing up on me for no fucking reason here.”

Deep down Leigh knew she was being unreasonable here, but she just couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. She was just so overworked, tired, and stressed and she missed you so fucking much. She never realized until this tour just how much she loved and adored you. She just wanted you back in her arms, she was so attached to you, and she didn’t care if it wasn’t healthy. She needed you, she wanted you. But that didn’t stop the next words from tumbling out of her mouth.

“OH, for no fucking reason really!?” She grimaced internally as she scoffed you know what Y/N I think it’s best if we both go to sleep for the night.”

You scoffed slightly at the words coming out of her mouth you started to finish off your question whether she’d like it or not, that’s even if she heard it as she started to disconnect the call without even saying good night. As you hastily said, “I was just going to say I was just wondering because I have been missing you a lot and I haven’t been sleeping right without you beside me.”

She was gone off the screen as you finished the question. You thought she hadn’t heard the rest of the question as you threw your phone on your bed watching it roll to the floor.

Meanwhile, Leigh was staring blankly at her screen mouth agape with tears in her eyes as she heard what you were initially going to say to her. God, she was a fucking idiot. The sooner both tours were over the better.

It’s been a week since that night you and Leigh hadn’t texted or called each other. Radio silence. You both could’ve been dead and none of you would know. But you were on your way home to California for the last show of your tour. You couldn’t have been happier to be on the final date of the tour. You knew Leigh had still another 2 weeks of her tour you could only hope it would get easier for her, you could go and visit her on one of her dates…then again you two weren’t exactly talking at the moment. So maybe that wouldn’t be the smartest idea. Your team decided on the last few dates of the tour instead of flying from place to place only, when necessary, of course, they decided to hire a tour bus for you all to stay on for the trek back to California.

So, as you all pulled into a random town to fill the bus up on gas and just take a break from driving. You decided to walk around the random town and explore a little, you were living in your own little bubble with your headphones on looking into random shop windows when one caused you to stop in your tracks. That’s when you saw Leigh’s book on display in the front window, you couldn’t lie you teared up slightly at the sight of her book and her name in big writing…your emotions may have been heightened due to not talking to her.

On instinct, you took out your phone to take a picture and send it to her. As soon as the picture is sent you internally cursed yourself as you remembered you two weren’t exactly on speaking terms. But as you stood there deep in thought a wild thought came to mind as you ran across the road and ran into the shop. You didn’t even bother looking around the store, you walked straight up to the cashier. “Hi there, I’d like to buy every single copy that you have of Sorry for Your Loss by Leigh Shaw.” You don’t blame the cashier for looking at you weirdly he nodded slowly as he started typing something up. “You must really need help with your grief if you’re buying every single copy of it that we have.”

You nodded slightly and chuckled “yeah sure let’s go with that buddy.” Since the cashier was searching something up you decided to text your team the address of where you were because there was no way in hell you were getting back to the bus with all those books.

When the cashier, your team and you finally finished loading the books onto the bus. You walked back into pay “Also just so you know Jordan, I wasn’t buying every single book because I’m struggling with grief. I’m buying them because I’m being a supportive partner and supporting mine in her career endeavours.” It was then the cashier realized who you were “holy shit.” but before he could say or do anything else you were gone.

As you got on the bus and looked at all the books you couldn’t help but laugh, you knew you had to send a picture to Leigh no matter what, you knew it would make her smile. You stared at the screen as the picture was sent waiting to see if you would get any sort of response from her. Needless to say, you were shocked when you saw her send heart and kissy-face emojis to you. It may not have been much, but it was something and it was better than nothing.

It was the night of your final performance, and you were freaking the fuck out for some reason. You had never been so nervous about a show before. I mean there was a possibility of it being due to the fact you were performing in your home state…though you’ve performed here before maybe it’s due to a bigger crowd. It was just something you couldn’t shake but you knew it would all be okay once you were out there. You had gotten a text from Leigh earlier in the day wishing you good luck and that she knew you were going to kill it. So that helped eased you ever so slightly.

You were in the middle of your set on stage when you started hearing cheers and screaming though you were doing nothing. You squinted out looking at the crowd as you took out one of your in-ears. You brought the mic up to your mouth as you spoke “guys, hey what's going on out there? Do y’all need water or something?”

You received an overwhelming collective “NO!” Back to you.

You laughed “Okay, okay so what’s going on fill me in on your little secrets.” you groaned ever so slightly as you sat down at the edge of the stage. You then heard a chant starting with a name of a person you adored. “LEIGH, LEIGH, LEIGH, LEIGH.”

You laughed and shook your head “yeah guys I know, I know. Go Leigh and well done for everything she’s achieved so far but sadly she isn’t here tonight.” However, that didn’t stop the chanting, if anything it only got louder. You rolled your eyes and pointed your mic out at the crowd. “Do you guys want me to start singing again, I mean that is what you all are here for isn’t it?” They answered with yet another no. You started humming a random tune into the mic as your eyes scanned the crowd as you noticed weird movement happening out there. You squinted and pursed your lips as you examined the area. You nearly dropped your mic at what you saw next.

You stared out into the crowd wide-eyed and mouth agape as you saw Leigh basically being escorted to the front of the pit by all of your fans as they all started chanting Leigh again. You leaned down towards the security as you explained to them who that woman was and to help her over the barrier as smoothly as possible. Which didn’t go smoothly at all, she stood in the space between the stage and the crowd looking up at you. You held your hand out wordlessly inviting her up on the stage with you. Leigh instantly shook her head and exclaimed “Are you crazy I’m not going up there.” You rolled your eyes as you jumped down off the stage and threw her over your shoulder as you got back into the stage. With Leigh clinging onto you for dear life and screaming in your ear. As you got back onto the stage you leaned forward trying to get your breath back as Leigh slapped you slightly “excuse me I am not that heavy, that’s all muscle!”

You nodded your head “I know, I know.” One of the crew members ran on stage with a spare mic for Leigh to use as you both spoke. You laughed “okay this concert has taken a very different turn tonight guys I’m sorry.” All you got was a cheer in response, you rolled your eyes.

“Okay first off Leigh, how are you here?”

Leigh grimaced “I uh… I cut my book tour short the dates are getting rescheduled don’t worry but um I needed a break from doing all that. But mostly the reason why I am here is that I missed you too much and I honestly think I was going a bit crazy not being around you as often as I used to be.” You smiled softly at her and gazed at her lovingly as she continued to speak “and you know more than anyone how I was acting and it just…it wasn’t right- and there you go with that look again. The one I’ve only seen once before and that was over facetime.”

God this is either going to be a really stupid idea or it’s going to be a really smart one. “Uhhh…one second Leigh. Hey guys!” you shout out into the crowd, the response you get back is a bunch of cheers. You laugh at the situation you’re in right now “Do you guys think you could sing to Leigh for a moment whilst I go grab something from backstage really quick?” Before you know it, they started singing Green Eyes, you turn towards Leigh quickly and place a quick kiss on her lips before you run off backstage to grab what you needed.

You run back on stage as you walk towards Leigh and pull her towards you to stand up. You take a deep breath in as you slowly get down on one knee Leigh stares at you wide-eyed. You place the mics down on the floor knowing thousands of people didn’t near to hear your personal love declaration.

“Leigh Shaw, my partner, the love of my life, the thorn in my side. I know this whole situation between us probably has been going on for years and we didn’t even know it. You really are the love of my life, I wrote a song about it years ago when I thought I had lost you for good. Unsurprisingly called Love of My Life. But I am truly so sick and tired of life and time passing us by so quickly, time and ourselves have ruined years of love and happiness we could’ve been spending and giving it to each other. And this time apart has only solidified that although maybe it all panned out this way for a reason. But Leigh Shaw, I want to spend the rest of my life with you however long that may be. Before I ask you one of the most important questions, I will ever ask, I have a little fact for you. Only 2% of the population has green eyes. I don’t wanna be with anyone else who is in that percentage, you Leigh Shaw are the only person from that percentage that I wanna be with and write songs about till the day I die. So, Leigh Shaw will you please marry me?”

As you stared at Leigh you saw the stream of tears rolling down her face as she smiles at you and nods rapidly “of course I will, I’d be stupid not to after everything you’ve done for me and everything we’ve been through.” You stand up as Leigh wraps her arms around your neck embracing in a long-overdue kiss. You both get brought back to where you actually are as you hear the cheers you pull back slightly as you slowly put the ring on Leigh’s finger. You bend down to pick up the mics Leigh whispers “finish your concert, I’ll be right backstage or at the side listening and watching you.” You let out a breath as you kiss her on final time before you carry on with your show.

After you finally finish your concert you and Leigh are walking back to the tour bus as she stares at the ring “when did you even get this, when did you even have the time to get this?”

You laugh as you kiss the side of her temple “Oh Leigh, Hun I’ve had that ring for months. Remember that time when I came in from work and you first told me about wanting to write a book?” Leigh nods slowly as she recalls that memory “Yeah…. well remember I was adamant on bringing my bag upstairs even though I claimed it was just my music stuff?” Leigh nods again as she sends you a glare and hums. “Yeah well, I’ve had it since around then.”

Leigh scoffs and pinches your side “you're a jerk-” Leigh pauses as she looks down at the ring again “but it’s beautiful, pretty and everything in between so it’s okay.” When you both finally reach the tour bus and sit down you both simultaneously let out a groan. You turn Leigh’s head to look at you by grabbing her chin with your thumb and index finger. “I love you, Leigh Shaw.”

Leigh grins and gazes at you in adoration “I love you too Y/N Y/L/N.” You both place your foreheads against one another as you place a loving kiss on each other's lips.

#leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x y/n #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x y/n #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen fanfic #green eyes series #green eyes

163 notes · View notes

messedupfan · 5 months

Text

Benefits of Car Troubles

Summary: When Leigh Shaw started her affair with Y/n, she never thought it would turn her life upside down for the better.

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

#leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw #benefits of car troubles #messedupfan

125 notes · View notes

wandabear · 10 months

Text

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed. “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people. He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today. “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.” Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!” Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly. “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee. “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged. “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes. “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door. “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

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Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

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“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

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Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

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“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

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That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion. We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

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She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

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“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind. “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

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Y/N laughed through tears.

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“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

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She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

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“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.” Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

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“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.” Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

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“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

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Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

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She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

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“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

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“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

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“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

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“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle. “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

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“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

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They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

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“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise. “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

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The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh.

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“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

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Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

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“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

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“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

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“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

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Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

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“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

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Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

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Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

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“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it. “I'll take you home, okay?”

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“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

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“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

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Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

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“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

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“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

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But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

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“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

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“Why what?”

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“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

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But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

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“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

#leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss #elizabeth olsen imagine

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