#this isn’t me asking for pity or anything btw please don’t take this as me trying to make you el sorry for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

treysimp · 2 years

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Would you ever do the staff for the bath headcannon ? I love the third years one btw 🥰

It's time babe! I hope you enjoy!

Taking A Bath With Them - GN!Adult Reader/NRC Staff (Crowley, Crewel, Vargas, Trein, Sam)

Rating: T (Lightly suggestive themes)

Tags: Reader's body not described nor are pronouns used, non-sexual domestic intimacy and fluff, elements of body worship, implied body insecurity from reader, established relationship, how do I make myself fall in love with each character I write for guys please explain to me.

Words: 3k

Silly author's notes: Not that I’ve been seeking it out but it feels like I never see anyone trying to put the moves Vargas (like I’m sure you exist, Vargas-fuckers where you at?) so since all of you are so fucking complicated I’m gonna do it! Fluffy domestic garbage for all!

Want more TWST? Here's my masterlist!

Dire Crowley:

‘Never judge a book by its cover, but tattered books don’t get picked off the shelf,’ is probably a quote Crowley heard in passing one time and then immediately tried to contribute to himself. Being the headmaster of a famous and prestigious school involves a lot of hard work, but you can never forget about appearances. Clothes make the man, and if the said man in those clothes doesn’t pull them off, what is even the point of wearing them? It feels like a lecture every time that you and Crowley bathe together, but you can’t say that you necessarily say that you disagree either. If anything, it was a trademark of NRC to be the flashy talented bad boy counterpart to the pure princes of Royal Sword Academy. Public perception seemed to ebb and flow as far as which one was the superior institution, but you would never tire of Crowley’s antics to show up Ambrose and improve NRC’s reputation. You may wonder, does Crowley remove his mask when bathing? And the answer is yes, but it is replaced with a gel pearl mask to ‘get rid of his horrendous eye-bags’ Crowley would say. You would wonder who would even see said eye bags, but you felt like you weren’t going to get a better explanation even if you asked.

Since Crowley loves to travel so much, one of the best parts of any vacation is being dragged to a beautiful outdoor hot spring when the ever-busy Headmaster is relaxed for once. He asks over and over ‘isn’t it beautiful here,' or, ‘are you happy with this,’ or even ‘this was nice of me right’? It’s the smallest hint of insecurity and worries that he will readily give. Crowley wants you to enjoy your time together, but a small part of his heart gnaws at him that maybe he missed something crucial and you were just too kind to say something. That you weren’t having a good time, that you didn’t truly think that he was kind, talented, and magnanimous and was just staying with him out of pity.

He hated himself for those thoughts, he truly didn’t believe that you would think of him so, but the stream of questions ran across the back of his closed eyes like an unending scroll of his deepest fears shaped into written reality. Crowley would then hear you tell him how happy you were, gushing about the bath, the clarity of the night sky, and the lovely locale and he could feel his anxiety washing away just like splashes of water on the surrounding tile floors circle down a drain.

He would pull you to his arms and talk about what he wished for the future, any particularly astounding stories from his past, and he would feel a genuine smile whisper across his lips. Maybe he wasn’t as great as he hoped, maybe he wasn’t as kind or as thoughtful, but you were still here in the soft warmth of his arms in this soothing water… and that was more than enough. Maybe he needed to think a little more in the short term, and all that came to mind was the fluttering heartbeat in his chest as your head leaned on his shoulder and his lips met your soft cheek.

Divus Crewel

Crewel is another one for spa treatments and taking great care of your body. He loves to take you into your bath and spoil you with scrubs, oils, and potions of his own making. He is ready to smooth, perfect and tighten every insecurity you have. More than anything, his favorite pastime is stealing you away for a weekend trip to somewhere beautiful where you both can be pampered.

As the man is also more than a bit into a gorgeous classic car, imagine the most idealized movie setting, the two of you cruising down the coast in a cherry red convertible with fashionable headwear to keep both of your hair behaved while your oversized sunglasses gleam in the sunlight. The word glamor doesn't cover even half of it, but it's a good start.

Expect these trips to be for both business and pleasure: hunting for vintage clothing pieces and fabrics in beautiful locales, scrounging through markets for rare ingredients, and then wasting the rest of the days away at spas, drinking delectable wine and enjoying only the finest foods. You worry that you are too spoiled by him at times, and if you mention this to him, he will just laugh joyfully.

‘If I ruin all other men for you forever, I can’t say I would complain,’ he would joke, smoothing mud from the bath you shared over his shoulders sensually. He already had ruined all other men for you, but you were sure he probably knew that anyway. That was part of what was so lovely between the two of you, there was so much left unsaid, but never unheard.

You got ready in the morning together, passing products back and forth across the double sinks in a routine. You would get your dinners and pass pieces of the best bites back and forth so that you could both enjoy each taste together. Every task felt routine but oh so comfortable. You would try the same products and give your opinions on them, swapping purchases back and forth based on who’s skin might suit it more, whose hair would behave better with each ingredient, and so on.

Students at NRC would try to distract Crewel during class by asking him when he was going to marry you, and most of the time he would throw back some sort of ‘maybe when you get an A on an essay one of these days,' if he was feeling snappy. It was hard to miss the way his eyes would crinkle any time you were mentioned and how his mood would be notably lifted for the rest of class. This isn’t to say that he was any less harsh on his students, but they did see him smile more, so the criticism would be just a bit softer as a result. You would know these days too, as he would pull you into a bath and massage your neck while he laughed heartily at the shenanigans of his classes.

That was another thing you so loved about these quiet bathtimes, getting to see all of the faces and responses that he kept hidden just for you.

You were so lucky.

Happiness.

Ashton Vargas

Your meatheaded darling did mean well, but… he was just one of those people that thought that you could muscle through everything. Unfortunately, he had built enough muscle that he has been proved right so far. While Ashton was quite self-obsessed and would flinch in fear every time he imagined that he lost even a centimeter of calf muscle, he never would give you any grief about how your body looked in the slightest. He was very encouraging and would do everything he could to get you to (healthily) build up your stamina and strength, but there was never a time that he would get frustrated with a failure you had. If you’re a person who cries when they’re frustrated, he will wipe them away. If you are someone who yells or wants to throw things when they’re frustrated, he will give you a ball and let you go ham against a wall until you’re cooled off enough for a hug. Vargas wasn’t always book smart, but he was intuitive to others’ needs in a way that few people are.

Ashton is very enthusiastic about bathing, which is good for you because you get a great view while soaping up. Since he’s such a show-off, Vargas will wait on you hand and foot to get a chance to flex a muscle, flip his thick hair over his shoulder or sparkle his perfect white teeth your way.

He just wants to make sure that you feel just as beautiful as he knows he is. He wouldn’t do this for just anyone, you know? You’re special, even when you might not agree with him. There was no arguing with him, if the peak physical specimen of himself thought you were worthy of bodily worship, how could you deny him? Are you saying that he isn’t gorgeous? His big blue eyes will sparkle in dramatic unshed crocodile tears at the thought. Oh? Did you say he is gorgeous? Well, then you are too. Beautiful people know how to spot beautiful things, and the only way you could argue that he was wrong was by saying that he wasn’t beautiful.

His logic made you want to hit your head against a wall, but when a man with the body of a goddamn superhero tells you that he thinks you’re hot it’s pretty hard to disagree with him. If you still try to fight it, prepare for over-the-top compliments while he forcefully tries to make you relax and go along with his praise. We are talking scrubbing behind your ears and saying that you have ‘well-formed lobes’ kind of compliments. You like that he’s complimenting you, but you also don’t know how to respond either.

More than anything, his hugs are to die for. During a bath, after a bath, once you are both snuggled in bed and comfortable? Heavenly, all of it.

Vargas loves to talk you to sleep, both of your plans for the next day, going over when and where you are taking your next vacation, and giving suggestions for what muscle groups he thinks would most benefit you to build. Hell if you tell him that makes you uncomfortable or you aren’t able to follow through, he will immediately change his plans and make variations to be kinder to your back, your knees, neck, ankles, etc. Never underestimate a man who knows anatomy better than geography. This goes double when you grab a map and realize that one trip that he told you was a 'two-hour drive’ from Night Raven was actually a fifteen-hour one, even with the help of the mirrors.

Oh well, his confidence was something you loved, no matter how correct he may or may not be.

Mozus Trein:

Trein was almost hilarious with how soft and tender he treated those he cared about versus the strict and stern History teacher exterior that he gave off.

Something that drew you to him was seeing how tenderly he cared for his daughters. All three of them had all flown the nest at this point, but seeing him smile softly while he penned them letters as he scratches Lucius’ chin and murmured conversation to the cat was something that made your heart melt.

You had been brushing up on your animal languages to better talk to Lucius too, and you could make out the gist of what he says now. As you suspected, he is not the most polite to others, but he is relatively quick to befriend those that bother to talk to him and offer treats that he likes. Due to these habits, you get along quite well. You try to ask for secrets about Mozus, but Lucius won’t always answer. The only consistency you can make out is that it seems like the cat will only answer you when he thinks it’s funny, but his sense of humor can be a bit difficult to work out.

Trein is not one for much intimacy, he is more one to enjoy mutually comfortable silences. He has had a lot of time to work out every habit and isn’t overly open to doing things outside of them, but a soak with bath salts or some other kind of medicinal mixture suits him quite well. Trein humors your wants and needs and is more than willing to go along with any ‘couples’ treatments you might be interested in within reason.

Surprisingly, he is open to doing things like acupuncture, fire cupping, and various types of experimental medicines, but if you ask him to get a facial his eyebrow will be stuck in a skeptical arch for the entirety of the experience. You were able to snap a picture of him making this face while wearing a green clay mask with cucumbers over his eyes. You treasure the photo, but you will never show it to him as you know he will be horrified at how undignified he looks. Part of his charm, you think.

Overall the greatest treat of all is seeing the relaxed smile that creeps onto his features when he is truly relaxing. It felt like something special just for you, sneaking a sleepy peek at him in the evening: relaxing in a silken robe, reading a novel, glasses perched on his strong nose, sipping at chamomile tea, and wearing the softest smile. It made your chest feel so warm that you got to see these small and simple moments. Everyday moments were the most special, you thought. Perhaps this simple comfort is what happiness truly is.

He will see you staring at him, invite you over for a chat and then wrap his arm around you and bring you to bed. He tucks you in tightly, much like one would do a child. His eyes soften when he does it, you suppose there must be a lot of pleasant memories attached to the action. Once he is satisfied with the bedding, he climbs in next to you, giving you a pleasant peck on the forehead before turning off the light. You hear the pitter-patter of little fluffy feet walking in a circle, a huff, and then a perfectly elegant flop and a warmth near your right foot. You sleep soundly, waking up every so often to feel a hand fixing the blanket that you repeatedly kept throwing off of your shoulder and another kiss on your temple as soon as it was finished.

Happiness.

Sam

As the youngest and least academically-focused staff member, Sam seemed always eager to prove himself. This was especially funny to you, considering how his ‘friends’ gave him such a leg up in almost every situation that you wondered why he ever felt less-than.

Sam had worked his salesman voice to near perfection, had an in with almost every vendor of note, came from a famously powerful family, was strikingly handsome, stylish, and had a killer smile…

Okay, you were wandering off topic here, but how could you help it?

His magenta eyes would flick to yours in passing and you found yourself not being able to think of everything but him. You wanted to joke that his signature spell was how he took your breath away, but that one was all him. You weren’t even sure if he knew how breathtaking he was, moving through each room like a tap dancer one Maxi Ford away from a full routine.

The theatricality that he brought to everything he did made you feel similar anticipation to being in a theater, hoping and praying that the handsome lead actor would look down at you specifically during a pivotal scene. For the sake of your heart, you were glad that somehow you had succeeded in catching his gaze the same way he had yours.

When it came to bathing, he enjoyed it. As the local ‘literally-everything’ supplier, he always had something to surprise you with if you wanted a fun gimmick in the bath, but he had his own perfect set of potions to maintain his stylishly dyed hues. You weren’t entirely sure if his particular swirl of hair colors was natural or magicked into place, and the few times you thought to ask Sam, he would just put one finger in a ‘shush’ motion over his mouth with and wink. It was hard to deny that his cheeky mysteriousness wasn’t appealing though.

If Sam was having a particularly good time, he might try to entice you in a cute little deal or ‘give you an offer you couldn’t possibly refuse’.

It was a relatively silly game because the cost for all of these handshake deals was always ‘a kiss’ which you would gladly give him regardless of if he gave you something in return. You liked the goofy smile he would give you after you agreed, so you indulged him regardless. He sometimes would act shy and murmur something about ‘stealing his first kiss’ (he made this joke from your second kiss onwards) but would quickly give up the ghost to cover your face in playful smooches and thread his hands at the nape of your neck so you couldn't move away from his lovesick gaze.

You’ve seen no true gentleman before in your life if you haven’t seen Sam at a proper ballroom soiree. Letting his relaxed slouch straighten into an elegant straight back and properly dressed to the nines, it seemed like he belonged under a spotlight. Sam was an amazing dancer, singer, card player, gambler, smooth talker, and pianist. He seemed to be accomplished in yet another hobby each time an acquaintance of his would say hello and jokingly admonish him for not showing off some hereto unknown skill of his. He would take the friendly jabs well, say ‘perhaps another time’, and then introduce his ‘charming companion’ (you) to them all in turn. Saying each word as fresh and new as the first time, though the words were practically a script for him at this point.

The ultimate renaissance man, truly.

Once you both were exhausted and came back to your home, you would bask in each other’s company. His voice raspy from overuse of the night, he whispered his thanks to you for accompanying him. You interrupt his soon-to-be soliloquy to say, ‘how could I possibly refuse an invitation from the most beautiful man I know?’. His eyes would crinkle with laughter from your response and he would pull you close, exhaling into your hair while the exhaustion of the night hits him like a well-anticipated crescendo.

Sam idly thought that out of the two of you, the power you held over him was far stronger than any spell he knew.

It was this time of night that you thought he looked his youngest, chortles losing all of their rehearsed and powerful baritones, words spilling out messily, sentences punctuated with ‘ah’s and ‘um’s.

Sleepy magenta met your eyes and you would decide to finally drag Sam off to bed, tucking him under your fluffy comforter with care. He fell asleep on a dime, and when he was sleeping you felt like you could see the angelic face he must have had as a child.

You couldn’t wait to see what you both did together tomorrow. Maybe you’d even tell him that you loved him.

You weren’t going to be able to stop yourself from blurting it out sooner or later anyway.

So who was your fav? Dying to know. I ran away from the bath theme a bit but it was all from a place of love, I promise. Have I convinced you to simp for someone new? Let me know!

Love you, reader! 💋

Requested tags: @stygianoir (hope you liked it!) @yandere-kou, @daeda21, @buckketboy, @aikochan4859, @kumiko-desu, @prince-zukohere, @fragmentedstarlight, @sarahyumiko2, @sappyisyourpappy, @rebel-faes-writing, @witch-waycult, @dari-kun, @riddle-simp, @naniky, @the-mermaid-of-the-stars

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revehae · 3 months

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how does hyuck fit into this ? he was already the weaker of the two and jeno and reader both knew that so how would they handle readers sudden love for jeno ?

would jeno use her and her devotion to him to get something else out of hyuck ? or would he get rid of him because he doesn’t need his assistance anymore ?

also,,, what would hyucks reaction be to the whole thing ? would he feel jealous ? would he step in when jeno makes her do fucked up stuff ? would he like it ?

im sorry for asking this much but day and night is my favorite work of yours… I HAVE to know

ignore me switching from third to second person over and over im an idiot. also i can’t believe this is still your favorite work of mine like is this where i peaked?

i think it’s worth noting that haechan’s weakness is anything but physical, of course. he is capable of overpowering mc if he wants to; he just doesn’t want to.

also, where jeno isn’t exactly capable of romantic love, haechan is capable of romantic obsession. that’s been obvious from the get-go. his compassionate actions also come from a place of obsession. remember how he tried to make it so that the mc’s room would be easier for her to be in, because he knew she would be there for a long time? that wasn’t just him being nice. it was his way of showing affection. considering making it canon that he’s the one who even suggested they take you, the one who had his eye on you first.

naturally, he wouldn’t be pleased that in spite of all the thoughtful things he’s done for her, how caring and considerate he thinks he’s been, it’s jeno that you grow fond of. she’s never wanted to service haechan, never taken him seriously. jeno knows this. he’s an asshole, sure, but he’s not selfish enough to keep you all to himself especially because he thinks that haechan plays a crucial role in this dynamic. matter of fact, he’s probably complicit in the demeaning acts jeno makes you perform, whether he wants to be or not.

your tolerance of haechan gradually slims, and you only submit to his urges because jeno makes you. even if you express to jeno how much you don’t like it, he would brush you off, telling you that you will be fine. thirty seconds and he’ll be done, he’d joke at his teammate’s expense. it’s not like haechan is anything to be afraid of. he’s too much of a coward, a pussy to hurt you.

the thing is that even jeno has underestimated haechan. to me, it makes perfect sense that haechan would be the one who comes to aggressively force himself onto you. he could handle your evident disdain for him before, but things are different now. you like jeno better, even though he’s the one that has never even slightly tried to accommodate you. and haechan is emotionally weak. he’s not good at coping. there’s even proof that he’s a little impulsive, so he will react in response to his feelings without much forethought. he will feel under appreciatived, underestimated, and entitled. and he will snap.

even then, haechan’s aggression wouldn’t manifest the same way that jeno’s does… i think that’s obvious, maybe, but i wanted to say it anyway. he will still not want to hurt you, not necessarily, but he will as much as he thinks it’s necessary to get what he feels that you owe him. part of him would pity you, but the other is angry and genuinely believes he is only reaping what he deserves. this would probably happen after a few instances of you turning him down when jeno’s not there, because you genuinely didn’t think that he had it in him to be so violent. you probably forget how strong he truly is, considering he never really uses his strength, and he is usually submissive to you. but in spite of your pleas he wouldn’t stop till he got what he wanted

last thing i think but btw if you told jeno about it he would not gaf like i think he almost wouldn’t even believe you… but if he does he’ll be amused by haechan’s sudden display of courage like he is with literally everything else, and this may be a repetitive response but he would exploit this too, prompting haechan to be meaner and rougher because he realizes that he’s capable of it now, even if it was supposed to a one-time thing to kinda whip you into shape. one day i can see haechan mustering enough courage to defy jeno which would then create a rift in their relationship, and only then would jeno actually take him seriously, but that could play out a couple different ways idk

side note: reminder that after the stockholming happened haechan was getting pussy easier so your newfound “commitment” to jeno after he’s already gotten accustomed to you surrendering yourself would be quite the adjustment

#neocentral #answered #asks #d&n having fans is crazy bc i personally think shes mid #but hey

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shorkbrian · 3 years

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So happy your requests are open and I don't mind the wait at all!

I just really want to see a sweet quirkless omega going into heat and sending her alpha Overhaul (Kai Chisaki) into a hard rut and he just pins her to a wall and fucks the life out of her before taking her to the bedroom to knot her.

but you do know that it would 100% be like "hate sex" on Chisaki's part (even though he kinda do like it lol)

(Kinda overhaul x reader x chrono btw but only for a little bit)

Just. Overhaul being able to tolerate you being kept at his compound because one, you're his mate, whether he likes it or not.

Two, you're quirkless.

And three? You don't bother him, you stay out of the way and you have passable hygiene when compared to Chisaki's standards.

But that has to be thrown out the window the second Chrono hauls you into Chisaki's office, the man in charge of watching you when Chisaki isn't around flustered and pink around his ears.

"B-boss, your omega, she's-"

"What the fuck is that smell." Chisaki growls, eyes immediately snapping to your trembling form. Taking in the way you're gasping, sweaty, barely able to stand even with Chrono's hand tight around your bicep and holding you up.

For some reason, the sight of Chrono touching you makes Chisaki itch. Odd, that usually wouldn't bother him.

The smell is cloying; too intense and too sweet, it makes his throat burn and his skin crawl.

"I think she's in-"

"Please, it hurts." You choke out, cutting off Chrono. "Need... I need-"

Chisaki recoiled as the scent got stronger, clouding his senses, making him feel... Chisaki didn't even know. Excited? Tingly?

Uncomfortable - he decided.

"Get her out. Give her a bath too, she smells disgusting." He commanded, but Chrono stepped forward instead of back out the door.

"Boss, she's in heat."

Heat?

Oh.

Overhaul cringed.

Logically, he knew it was going to happen eventually. But on the other hand, he had hoped his omega would be different. you was already quirkless, already pure... surely it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to assume that you wouldn't be affected by the mindless heat-addling that Omega's all seemed to undergo?

His irritation was rising.

"So?"

Chrono looked at his boss with questioning eyes, unsure what to do with the omega becoming increasingly more distressed at his side.

"You'll get her over it." Chisaki decides, ignoring the bitter taste that floods his mouth as he utters those words. His eyes slide over you again, lip curling into a disgusted sneer.

"Messy thing."

Chrono is frozen in disbelief. But this isn't a test of his loyalty, Chisaki truly doesn't want to deal with the germs and the mess and the cleanup associated with omega's during their heats. Slick everywhere, pheromones staining the room, needy hands touching everywhere-

"Sit her down on the couch." He instructs his second-in-command, rising from his office chair and stepping around his desk so he can close the door. "I want to make sure you don't damage her."

That's the only reason. Only reason he wants to be present and watching while Chrono fucks you through your heat.

"You're serious then?" The white-haired man asks, removing the plague mask he wears while inside the compound, thus beginning the process of disrobing.

Chisaki waved his hand idly, resuming his position in his office chair with a tired sigh. "It'd be such a chore for me to do it myself. Aren't you an alpha yourself Chrono? You should be jumping at the chance to bed a nice quirkless omega."

Chrono shrugs off his white coat, looking up from where you're panting on the couch while he stands in front of you, eyes finding his boss. "I wouldn't want to overstep my boundaries with your property."

The brunette smiles, not that anyone can see, but it's clear he's pleased by the crinkle near his eyes, the relaxed way he slumps in his chair. "And that's why you're my favorite Chrono."

You're wearing what you usually wear - long pants, a cozy sweater. Overhaul hasn't heard you complain about the chill in the compound, but it's clear to see it affects you by the way you dress and the way your nose darkens from the cold.

You don't fight the half-naked Chrono as he helps you out of your sweater, unbothered by the temperature of the room and looking entirely too hot and sweaty.

Chisaki supposes it's good that you aren't fighting. You had at first, when he first brought you here, crying and pleading for him to let you go and leave you alone. That pathetic show was quickly shut down with a simple demonstration of Overhaul's quirk, and what he'd do to you if you didn't comply.

Now you're seemingly accepting of the situation, casting nervous glances towards Chisaki, your attention constantly getting stolen by the pale man stripping in front of you.

It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before Chrono has his cock in you.

And you look completely blissed out, mouth open and letting out choked little gasps on each thrust, one hand desperately trying to hold onto Chrono's shoulder, his arm, his chest - anything you can reach.

The other hand is on your stomach, and Chisaki doesn't understand why until he focuses on it, sees the distention whenever Chrono swings his hips into you.

Chisaki feels himself throb.

The sounds you're making sound like music. Awful music, all discordant and rushed and pornographic, stuttered breaths and pitiful cries, high-pitched and girlish moans in between Chrono's quiet huffs.

The sweet pheromones in the air become sweeter, thicker, and Chisaki can see the direct correlation between the smell and how much slick is dripping out of you, drenching Chrono's pretty cock, his stomach, even splattering his thighs on each thrust as his cock squelches deeper.

It's disgusting.

Digusting but curiously enamoring. Chrono's got you sitting on the couch, pushed up against the back while he fucks you. It's a tall piece of furniture, and Chrono merely hikes his leg up onto the cushions to gain a better angle to fuck you with. Your slick is everywhere; Chisaki knows that couch won't be salvageable after this. Somehow, he doesn't mind.

What he does mind, however, is the way Chrono is speeding up, rhythm stuttering and practically falling apart. He's going to knot you. Chisaki had given him full permission to - that's what taking care of an omega during their heat means, after all. But jealousy is boiling inside him, blood painfully engorging his cock, he feels tingly all over, very unlike himself.

He wants to touch you.

But you're a disgusting mess, smelling sweet and fertile and sweating and dripping everywhere. Chisaki can't believe he's feeling... attracted to you right now.

"O-ohh feels good, r-right there! Yes, thank you,t-than-" You mumble out, drunk on cock as you shudder through an orgasm, cream gushing out of your cunt and further dirtying Chisaki's office.

Chisaki sees red.

He's furious - not only at you, but at Chrono for touching you, and for himself for explicitly allowing it to happen. Chrono's about to knot you, claim you, and Chisaki is out of his chair before he knows what's happening.

"That's enough." And his gloved hands are ripping Chrono away from you, sending the other man reeling as his subordinate struggles to control his alpha instincts and stop himself from fighting his boss, tearing Chisaki to shreds for interrupting his mating.

Chisaki doesn't care, he's too focused on you.

"You're so pathetic." The man hisses at you, crowding into your space. When had he taken off his mask? He wanted to smell more of you.

His gloves are gone too, ripped away in a moment so he can feel your wet skin against his hands, feel the sweat beading your brow before those same fingers snap to undo his pants.

"I hate you, I hate you." He seethes, golden eyes staring at you so intently that you start to cry, overwhelmed with the situation, still craving a knot, craving intimacy and tenderness.

You've reduced him down to barely better than an animal, tearing at his clothes so he can sink into you, closing his eyes at the way you're wet and warm inside, perfect and velvety.

Chisaki doesn't know what's come over him. Normally he'd be disgusted, absolutely incensed at having such filth be in direct contact with his skin. But right now... all he feels is pleasure ripping through his veins, clouding his head, his mind, flushing rational thought down the toilet.

"Stupid, hate you-" his words rattle out on each rapid thrust, breath uneven and labored as his muscles stretch and work to fuck you harder and faster. He's building up to his peak.

One of his hands is fisted in your hair, close to your scalp and keeping you still, the other hand clamped firmly against your hip and making sure you don't wiggle away. Alpha instincts taking over as his brain convinces him to mate, breed, cum.

"You're so fucking dirty." He gasps, voice heated and gravelly as he struggles to fight through the heat taking over his body.

He's going into a rut.

Chisaki isn't supposed to do that. He takes supplements and suppressants to ensure he doesn't have too. Ruts are messy, nasty things to endure, and Chisaki would rather lick the floor of a dirty subway than experience one.

Yet here he is.

"You disgusting, wretched thing-" And you're crying, fat tears mixing with sweat and rolling down your chin. Chisaki feels disgusting himself, wanting to lick the liquid away.

He hasn't felt this good in his entire life, this burning fever pitch rising and rising and cresting, blazing along his nerves.

He can barely thrust his hips anymore, and only then does Chisaki realizes that he's popped his knot, jammed it in deep while you cried and moaned and struggled to hold onto him.

Theres a sick sense of satisfaction filling him up, his mind clears for half a second and Chisaki thinks to look over his shoulder, seeing Chrono still standing there with a soured look on his face, cock still swollen and drippy and bobbing purple against the man's stomach.

"Get out." Chisaki orders, and Chrono knows enough to merely pick up his coat and wrap it around himself before exiting the room. He's never seen his boss like this - so feral and unhinged and debauched like some regular dirty plebeian.

But Chisaki doesn't care. Odd.

He cares about grinding against you, feeling you milk every last drop of cum from his balls, shimmying his hips to hear you gasp and moan and clutch at his body, trembling like a little lamb.

Chisaki doesn't want to stop.

"As soon as my knot goes down-" He growls, lowering his face until it's mere inches from your own, breathing into your space. "I'm going to take you to my room and knot you until you break."

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melting-tofu · 3 years

Text

S/o takes a bath with him for the first time - ft. Childe/Tartaglia and Xiao

A friend requested this... now that I think about it I haven't gotten requests for a while and I actually sobbed ;;

btw childe please come home

Note: Female reader, maybe very very slight suggestive? but pure fluff

Note 2 (2021/14/4): I have to point this out in case of misunderstanding, I used "oujo-chan" (1) here instead of "ojou-chan" (2) because (1) means "princess", the other means "girlie" and I think princess would be pretty much the nickname Childe likes to use to call you when he is officially in a relationship :D

--------

Childe:

。Imagine after messing around with some samachurls and slimes of different elements, your clothes become all soaked and dirty

。On your way to your place, Childe will defintely ask for a bath toghether, but you will refuse lmao

。He notices that you're just too shy to accept his little offer

。It's not like you don't want it

。So when you arrive he probably carries you to the bathroom without waiting for your approval

。It gets to the worst part, that you two have to take off your clothes

。"Don't worry! I won't look, you can settle yourself in the tub first and watch me strip later~"

。Of course you know he is joking, but the joke feels embarrased you just have to pull a punch to his face to slap that childish smirk off

。When you both are surrounded by warm water, you completely turn your back to him

。"(Name)ー Look at meeee! You're no fun at all!"

。Only the parts above the water can be seen, but you're just shy to look at his bare top

。He keeps calling you, faking a tone that sounds like he's about to cry

。Then you feel pity for him, you actually turn back, only to find him already this close

"W-what are you doing?!" you scream panickingly and try to push him away, Childe just giggles and hugs you, your bodies colliding- "I thought little oujo-chan didn't want to face me so I had to do it myself~" He laughs at how red your face is, why doesn't he feel awkward like you do? Now he is even making you blush on purpose. "Wait- n-no! We're h-having no clothes on!" your face heats up more and more as he holds you tighter, making it hard for you to resist and your head has to rest on his shoulder. "Why would you wear clothes in your bath? Beside, what about this position, oujo-chan? We won't get to see anything weird this way!" he chuckles innocently again, guess you have to obey... but it feels really awkward and you won't move at all, that means you won't get to clean yourself and get out, that means you will be stuck here with him forever-

okay in the end you two actually end up having a proper shower and he does apologize for his seem-like-pervert actions.

。He will probably ask for this next time and next time of next time and on and on

Xiao:

。Xiao is Xiao, he is straight-to-the-point

。He will casually ask for a bath together without any signs of nervous while keeping a neutral expression

。But his inner self does feel extremely awkward

。Your face heats up after hearing his words, but you can't deny his cold gaze

。His eyes lit up for a split second because you didn't refuse :O

。Will take your hand in his and walk straightly and silently to the bathroom

。He just takes off his shirt without saying anything which makes you blush madly

。So you have to turn away, it leaves him completely confused

。"Ummm... If you don't want to look..." says the Vigilant Yaksha with a shy voice-

。He opens his arms and pulls you close, starts to help take off your clothes???

。"...then just don't look." as he continues while forcing your chin on his shoulder to prevent you from seeing things down there

。You feel like your face is as red as a tomato, right when you're about to pull away he throw both of you in the bathtub

。 You two just keep holding each other, no other actions are done, because you simply feel awkward just like he does

After minutes of silence, you attempt to turn your face a little to look at him, he actually drifted off? Feeling you shift, he snaps his eyes open and stares back at you. "Is everything okay?" he asks worriedly, but you chuckle and smile "All fine! I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep there!" you answer, noticing a light pink dust on his cheeks. He panics and tries to avoid your gaze, his pouty face is absolutely adorable as he hisses "No! I mean... you think I was sleeping? H-how ridiculous... you really pay no respect t-to an adepti... W-wait no-" Xiao stumbles, he quickly slaps a hand to cover his face, loses in thought for a second then looks back at you to see if he said something wrong, just to find you still keep a warm smile at him. "It's alright! I was worried because you didn't say anything then, if you wanted to rest you just needed to tell me!" His expression softens after hearing your words, he slowly comes closer and embraces you again, burrying his face in your neck. "Then... can we stay like this for a little longer?"

。Keep in mind that this isn't an one-time thing, he likes to be this close to you and wants to do it again

-------

Xiao is so close to friendship lv 10 and when it happens I will cry of happiness

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #xiao x reader #tofu.writes

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shirtlessfelix · 3 years

Note

HIIIII I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCG AHDJSJDJSJDJSJDJ UR LITERALLY AMAZING AJDJSJDJSJ

I was wondering if you could write Trickster x male! Killer! Reader. And maybe with like subtle enemies to lovers akdnajdjsjs

LEMME BRIBE U WITH FELIX ART OR WHATEVER CHARACTER ART YOU WANT 🎨🎨🎨��🖌🖌📝📝📝📝

HIIIII THANK YOU SO MUCH UR LITERALLY AMAZING ❤️I most certainly can do that!!! And, um... well, bribes aren't necessary, but *cough* if you WANT to, I mean—

You're His Way Out

1113 words | definitely not subtle btw oops

Jiwoon Hak has hated you since the moment you walked into the Realm with an air of confidence that he's never had. The Entity brought him in as weak link, and they all knew it; some pitied him for his inability to hold a chase more than a few seconds, and some thought he was just wasted potential. His life before the Entity got him made the Realm much too boring for him, but when you came along, that all changed.

Every trial of yours ended without a single survivor, all of the Entity's playthings in her nasty claws. You would overhear him complain to the other, more experienced killers about how much more powerful you were than them, and didn't that make them angry? "You just need more practice," the Spirit told him. "It will come."

And now, once you've grown tired of his childish fussing, you decide to confront him when you return from yet another merciless slaughter. He looks away so as to hide his glare; what right do you have to provoke him like this? Well, Jiwoon is civil and listens to you anyway. His heart races behind his yellow overcoat. He grips harshly onto his bat.

You say, "I know why you don't like me, Joker. But--"

"Trickster," he responds in a heavy accent. You raise an eyebrow; he repeats himself. "Trickster, not Joker. Please get my name right at least." When you apologize, he looks surprised, like he figured you thought you were too good for him. "Why are you bothering me?"

You tell him that to bother him isn't your intention. "I don't understand why we can't get along, you and I. Are you that jealous?"

"I'm not jealous!" he spits, and his fist clenches harder around his weapon, and he stands to hold at least a modicum of control over you. "You come here to make a fool out of me, bastard!" He's angry, but he knows that he is nothing compared to you. It might be fun to entertain him.

"I'm sorry," you tell him again. "I don't want to be on bad terms." You look deeply into his eyes, and he stands back, fearful of what you might do even though he doesn't want to show it. What to do when he's pushed to the bottom is lost on him.

"I spent my life mastering the art of the blade, and you ruin it. Why? We're on bad terms the second She brings you here. I'm here for what when She has you, huh? Don't lie to me."

"Trickster," you say quietly and touch your fingertips to the back of his hand, which he jerks back and almost threatens his weapon over you.

"What are you doing?" he asks, face going bright red at your touch. You can tell his guard is down. He wasn't expecting your intimacy. "What, are you a weird guy?"

You shrug. "You're weird, Jiwoon Hak. Sit down and listen to me, will you?" He hesitates but does so anyway, and when you touch the tip of your knee to his, he doesn't budge. "You're a skilled bladesman, Trickster... but so am I." A smile creeps over your lips; he's growing on you. "I'll teach you a thing or two if you'll let me."

Your thumb rubs over Jiwoon's hand, and he scoffs but doesn't pull it away. "You think there's something left for me to learn."

"There is. It's okay that you're jealous, but you don't want to be forever, do you? Not when there's no way out of here." He looks down at his bloody boots and shakes his head, and you stand up to take him somewhere away from the camp to practice with him. "Do you want to stay angry, or are you gonna come with me?"

You bring Jiwoon to a clearing in the forest far from the other killers. He's still timid now that you're actually talking to him, and he can't look you in the eye. "Hit the tree," you tell him and stand against one, staring into its woody patterns and knowing full well that he won't succeed entirely. You hear the knives as they fly through the air and hit the bark above your head and between your knees, and the grass around you.

Once he's out of blades, you evaluate his messy work and tell him to stand against the same tree, facing you so he has to make eye contact. Staring into his fearful look, you outline him perfectly with lines of your blades that stick out of the tree with perfect spacing. But you don't give him the chance to stand back, instead walking closer to him and keeping him against the tree.

His face is an even brighter red than before, but this time you know it isn't out of anger. Jiwoon anticipates what you'll do, but he can't quite expect anything. "You're a weird guy too, hm?" you ask him with a smile, and he blinks rapidly just trying to convince himself that he isn't terribly attracted to you, and that he hasn't just been yearning for you this whole time. He's never hated you. He's wanted to, but he never has.

"You're gonna use this against me now too, are you?" You shake your head, and his guard falls even further to his feet, letting you take his hands in yours and intertwine your fingers. His heartbeat is so powerful, it pulses through your whole body, and he leans his head back in a feeble attempt to remain composed.

"Is this what you really wanted, Trickster?" you ask, and he gulps hard. "Few get so close to me, Jiwoon. Enjoy it."

Then he completely loses himself, his lips unexpected against yours in a rough kiss fueled by frustration and envy. How badly he wants to be you and be with you has been driving him out of his mind, and now might be his only opportunity to indulge in it.

He lets go of your hands and moves his to the back of your head, keeping you against him so he can have as much of you as possible. This few minutes isn't nearly enough to satisfy him, but unfortunately, the Entity is calling out for him. He dreads another trial, especially now that he's experienced something much more enjoyable.

You pull away and leave him panting as the fog creeps in at your feet, wrapping around his ankles and taking him and his blades away to the trial grounds. You laugh all the way back to the camp, certainly hoping you'll get more time with him—assuming he won't be so feisty next time.

#sffic #anon #req #dbd #dead by daylight #dbd fanfic #dead by daylight fanfic #dbd trickster #ji woon hak #dbd x reader #reader insert #male reader #killer reader #anon u make me smile like a mf #i got carried tf away writing this #i Might have a thing

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outivv · 3 years

Note

(please ignore the nickname i made this account originally for a specific blog and rich fucker was my anon name) I am a sucker for jean and your toxic traits hc so could i request a jean x reader fic where reader just kind breaks and ends up breaking up with jean or something (idk i just really want something for toxic hc jean :’)) you dont have to do it btw if you feel uncomfortable with it

Synopsis: the reader snaps and breaks up with toxic hc Jean

Warnings: toxic hc character, mentions of anxiety/ intrusive thoughts/ jealousy, and a break up

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Character: Jean

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

Note: I kinda made y/n go from 1 to 100 really fast in this one so... just a heads up ig.

A/n: lol don’t worry I don’t judge with nicknames, I’d by a bit of a hypocrite if I did. But anyway this was kinda hard for me because I haven’t done much for jean, and I haven’t done a breakup fic. It was difficult, but different and exciting. So even though it’s a bit out of my comfort zone, I hope you enjoy and have a lovely day/afternoon/evening!

You stood outside of jeans office, not daring to go inside. It was one am. She started work at eight am. She has been gone all day, and shes been doing this for weeks now. You’ve begged her to take a break, but she’s refused multiple times. Jean is going to make herself sick again if she keeps doing this.

You can’t watch the one you love most deteriorate, and throw away any mental stability they had. And all of it for a city, a city full of people who can’t do anything without jean. They practically have her hold their hand for everything. Making her do all of the dirty work, as they sit back and relax not realizing the pressure they’re putting on the acting grand master.

‘One more time’ you think. One more time to tell her to stop, to take a break. You knock on her office door, to be met with a sigh, and ‘come in.’ She sounds tired, you think as you open the door. You see jean working on something and scribbling on a price of paper, at her desk.

She looks up to meet your concerned eyes, with her tired ones. “Hey love...” you said quietly. You didn’t want to make her upset or push her. Jean tilted her head, resting it on her hand saying, “hm? Why are you here? It’s late isn’t it?” You moved to touch her shoulder and rub it gently with your thumb in any attempt to help what you were about to say. For you knew that she wouldn’t listen.

“Jean, love, I think you should come home now.” You said concern clear in your voice. She clearly looked agitated, and now frustrated? Defeated? You couldn’t tell. “I need to finish this y/n. If you don’t understand that then you can leave.” She said shortly and tiredly. You knew this was coming so you said, “but jean... the people of mondstadt can wait, your mental health can’t. I can’t watch you throw anyway any stability you’ve ever had all for mondstadt.” The quiet in your voice now gone, and you felt a sudden frustration.

“The people of mondstadt come first. I thought you of all people would understand that. But I guess I was wrong.” Jean said going back to scribbling on her piece of paper, like she was prior to this. “Do the people of mondstadt come before me.” You asked shortly. You got no reply. You waited for a couple of seconds before you grew impatient. “Answer me. Do the people of mondstadt come before me.” There was clear aggression in your voice and you felt as though you were going to snap any second depending on her answer.

“Right now yes. Yes they do.” Jean said not looking up from her piece of paper. Her words flipped a switch. A switch of anxiety and intrusive thought that were hidden by your anger. ‘She never loved you’ ‘she stays out of pity’ ‘you aren’t important to her’ were only a few thoughts that swirled your brain, taking strikes at your love for the woman in front of you.

“Ok... ok! Well fine!” You shouted feeling some adrenaline running through your veins from the sheer amount of anxiety you’re experiencing “well! I’m done. I’m leaving. I’m done with you.” You said with a smile, for you were so mad it was insane. Never did you think that you’d be jealous over an entire city. Jealousy makes people ugly, and jealousy is what fueled you right now.

Jean looks at you shock and pain in her eyes as she says, “what... what do you mean?” You made your way for the door, opening it you said without turning around, “I’m breaking up with you jean.” The door slammed behind you, and any anger jean had left with you. She only felt regret, fear, and sadness due to your absence. The realization hit her like a truck. She realized what she did. And there was no getting you back.

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sorry-i-ship-drarry · 3 years

Note

massaging them , bandaging injury in healer draco / auror Harry one shot please thank you ❤️

This one is new!! Btw sorry for delaying it. Here ya go, hope you like it. @flakeyakey

Single healers

" come on, get him in here" although it was deafening. He was probably losing his senses, his eyes opening and closing, blurring his vision. He couldn't really see the speaker but unconsciously sensed the urgency in their voice.

" and you're sure he wasn't bitten ?" The same voice asked again. Harry tried very hard to open his eyes and see who it was, but exhaustion was pulling him under and he was ready to sleep. Long sleep.

His breath was cutting short, his vision blackening, he was relaxed finally until someone started to lightly pat his cheeks.

" keep breathing, potter... Don't you dare give up right now " and that was the last thing he heard, only getting a slight peek of someone oddly familiar and with a nod, harry closed his eyes.

It was really exhausting to be where harry was right now but all he did really felt was the uncomfortable pillow, hurting his neck. In attempts to fix his pillow, he tried to move his arm until he realised they weren't exactly in a spectacular shape and he grimaced with pain.

" welcome back sweetie" he heard a sweet voice. Okay, there isn't any woman at Harry's home, so he opened his eyes.

" ouch " harry immediately shielded his eyes because of the intense light

" shut that light Karen, it's hurting his visuals" Someone said as they must've shut the door behind him.

Once the light was turned off, harry relaxed and opened his eyes again.

" wow, this is definitely not home " harry groaned

" well not if your home is a hospital potter" the guy in the white coat said. Harry couldn't see whoever it was, mostly because his back was turned to harry but also because he was very much leaned over onto the table that you couldn't see anything but his white coat, his black pants and nice black shoes, shining, and if harry wasn't wrong they were vintage, oh!!

" so how do you feel ?" The guy finally turned around

" I knew it, only you say my name that way " harry fisted his palm in a small victory.

"yeah, yeah very great achievement potter, now how do you feel ?" He asked

" well, for one, I can't feel my ass because of this bed, second, my arm is really sore, third my pillow isn't put right so it definitely is craning my neck too much that it hurts. And lastly my question how did I wound up here ?" Harry goes

" Karen please do the honours of adjusting thy majesty's pillow or he'd cry over it" the other man said as he poured some liquid carefull in a vial.

" now, to answer your question, I am not even slightly interested in how you wound up here, all I know is that you are here and I have to take care of you. Next, the beds are a bit uncomfortable, you'll get used to it in a bit and if not, I'll cast a cushioning spell and lastly, can you tell me exactly where your arm feels most sore ? And do the honours of actually telling me how you feel ?" He said as he walked towards harry, analysing the morning reports he received.

" still keeping the I am a prat attitude Malfoy, suits you " harry rolled his eyes, pointing above his elbow on the dorsal side.

" well the sodding insolent prat attitude suits you too potter " draco rolled his eyes as he lightly dabbed Harry's arm recieving a flinch.

" there's no such external injury here so I think that's a bruise. Think massage would do it " draco frowned to himself

" I feel a little dizzy by the way. Also there's a portion on my neck that is itching quite badly, can I scratch ?" Harry asked innocently.

Draco furrowed his eyebrows before helping harry sit upright and taking a look at the point of his itch.

" those are deep scratches. So no you can't scratch Over. Karen I thought all wounds were cleaned up "

" I did. It must've been because it's on his back I might've missed it. I'm sorry " she hurriedly Apologized

" that wouldn't really qualify you as a healer would It, now, next time don't make the same mistakes. Ms. Adelman across the room needs you by the way " draco said as he dipped some cotton in antiseptic potion and cleansed Harry's wound.

" it's burns ? " Draco asked

" a little " harry grimaced.

" I think you got that from the werewolf " draco whispered as he carefully studied for any bites.

" when will I be free ?" Harry asked impatiently.

" well at this pace not for another two weeks" draco replied as he pushed down his reading glasses and kept the files over the side table.

" no way. I'm not staying for 2 weeks. That's 14 days off work, I can't do that. I'm in the Middle of an important case and-"

" okay save it potter. You have to stay for 2 weeks and it ends there. Your friend Weasley will come by and explain you everything but under my watch, even if you're free you're not allowed to work"

" and who gives you the right?" Harry rolled his eyes frustratingly

" me. As your healer, it is my responsibility to make sure that you only resume when you're wounds are all healed up " draco huffed, annoyed by Harry's childish behaviour to just break free.

" and you think I'd listen to you ?" Harry narrowed his eyes in a glare at Draco.

Draco clenched his jaw before closing his eyes and continuing speaking " you are not going anywhere and that is it, you get me! And if you do try to get away, I will tie you up with shackles without a wand. Now if you're a chain eater or something like that then you'd be successful to break free otherwise not "

" whatever " harry rolled his eyes, again. If draco had one pet peeve, it was people rolling their eyes necessarily on his face and potter seemed to have a death wish.

" look " draco pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed " you don't understand the severity of your injuries. I understand your passion for work and all but not at the risk of health. If you must know you were attacked by a werewolf, the problem however is that we're not sure if you were bitten or not.. it might've been someone who bit you before full moon, basically not a werewolf then but there is a possibility that you're not bitten, the more likely one -"

" but if there's a bite, you should be able to see right ?"

" yes and no. The evolution of werewolves is allowing them to leave very little traces of bites these days which of course does not benefit them nor potentially harm the one bitten. The real reason why we can't figure whether you're bitten or not is because your back Is covered in scratches and if you can't feel them it's because of the numbing potion. And we're done talking. Drink this up quietly"

Harry looked at Draco strangely for a moment before taking the vial from his hand and bottomed up " can I work from here ?"

" no " and draco walked out.

And then it became a thing, harry constantly asking if he could work and draco constantly denying and threatening him that this time he'd definitely put him in shackles. And by the by, interactions between them did get pretty interesting every once in a while when Draco used to check him up late at night before leaving from work.

And one of these days harry shoot his shot "you pretty much always leave late, come early and stay here all day, so I should by now just assume that you're single "

" not that it's any of your business potter " draco absent-mindedly replied as he changed the bandages on Harry's back.

" ha- you didn't deny it. So you are single " harry exclaimed

" sit still "

" sorry "

" why do you care if I date or not ? My personal life Potter " draco said as he changed the bandages on the bottom right of Harry's back, amused for a moment of what he saw something going under his pants. It seemed like a mark, he didn't question it.

"I don't. Just curious " harry shrugged.

" well dearest curious George, I must assume that you're single too since nobody special visited you " draco said as he got up and lightly massaged Harry's sore arm from before. Harry relaxed in his touch before he continued the conversation

" I don't do Dating. Even if I do date someone, it's never about us or the dating in itself, it's just mostly to get into witch weekly or daily prophet under the chosen one's new beau sort of thing "

Draco almost pitied harry for never having found something but decided not to, since he obviously didn't need the pity.

"that sucks " draco hummed " does it hurt still ?" He pressed a little more firmly over the spot

" not much anymore " harry replied " what's your not dating excuse ?"

Draco etched a small smile especially for harry before he told him the truth " it's a bitter world for me out there. I think it's the same as you, you know just the opposite end. It's almost as if i- I'm still a death Eater and people still hate me for that "

Harry pressed his lips in a thin line, never having thought of it. He always thought it must've been easy for Draco to find Someone, with being attractive and working somewhere you're basically helping people all day but it came as a mild shock as it was opposite.

" whoever ends up with would be one lucky person though " harry complimented just in time draco stopped massaging and picked up the vials to give to harry.

" really ? What makes you say that ?" Draco smiled

" because I know you'd do anything to keep that person in your life no matter the cost. And I've seen the good in you, you're not all bad " and with that harry gulped the vial, missing out draco's blushing.

" I think whoever ends up with you would be a lucky one too then " draco said as he finished up aligning the empty vial bottles on a tray to take them away.

" and why's that ?" Harry smiled

" because- it's just you. You're different and you're nice.. think you'd always keep them happy and safe if it were your life on stake. That's just you " draco complimented smiling at harry.

Not as capable as draco, harry turned pink from the compliment " that's nice of you "

Draco should not have been mesmerized but unfortunately he was and it should've been a mistake, but he liked it. And he knew harry enjoyed gazing at him too but the moment Only lasted so long and draco broke free before he could've lost control.

" I should go. Goodnight. Take care " and he left the room.

The next morning draco returned to his room, the first thing he saw was an empty bed until he harry walked in, shirtless.

" y- you can walk " draco said

" yeah. I can " harry smiled.

Gaining his composure back, Draco resumed " and you cleaned up nice, with all the Shaving "

" I figured I'll be leaving in 3 days so better get used to it again " harry replied

Draco stared at harry dumb folded " oh, right, yeah, 3 days "

" so " draco pouted " does it hurt anywhere? Need of change in bandages ? Or anything else?"

" no, I think I'm fine " harry placed his hand over his hips, frowning.

" well, alright then. I'll be going. I'll be checking in on you at the end of the day like a normal healer. Goodbye potter " and he practically ran before his heart might've fell out of his chest, metaphorically ofcourse.

The rest of the day draco got so busy that when the night came, he couldn't visit harry again even if he desperately wanted to but he was so exhausted that he could Barely walk and so by the recommendation of the work counsellor, he got sent off.

The first he did next day was visit harry, who to his surprise was sleeping. So like a normal healer, he checked his bottled of vial, his normal medicines and the bruises and left. When the night came, harry was swamped with his friends that draco couldn't had stayed for more than professional purpose. The next day again when he visited harry, he was tiredly sleeping. Defeated, draco worked all day until again at the end of the night he visited harry to see him sitting with all the files.

" working?" Draco asked as he place his files over the side table and started checking Harry's injuries, which were now almost healed.

" yeah. Filling in for what I missed while being here " harry sighed.

Draco scrunched his eyebrows looking at Harry he retrieved his hands and asked him " do you really enjoy your work though? Like putting your life on line and working immensely over something so exhausting ?"

" do you enjoy your work ?" Harry huffed

" I do. I very much do. It's tiring sometimes yes but I like what I do. It makes me feel nice About myself. Is it the same for you ?"

Harry huffed pushing away the files before Pouring our reality " to tell you the truth, I don't enjoy work. It was all fun in the beginning, the chase and run but now it just seems as if that's all I've been doing my whole life. Running after the bad guys but then that's exactly what everyone expects of me and I can't let them down. So I do exactly what I've been doing, the right thing "

Draco amusingly watched him, as if it was fun story, only it wasn't " my mom always used to say, much before anyone else's you're your own. There's no point in living your life the way people expects. I think they must've have had enough of that already. There's nothing new in the potter magazine you know, the chosen one after the bad guy. Life's too short for the same title harry "

" hey, you called me harry " harry pointed out grinning

" don't I deserve to at least call you by your name after taking care of your lame ass for 2 weeks " draco chuckled.

Harry chuckled " you deserve it, draco "

And draco smiled.

The next morning when harry was finally ready to depart with no ill effects or presence of lycanthropy, he waited until he see'd off draco..

" and I thought I'd almost miss your departure " draco heaved, breathing in harshly..

" nah, I wouldn't had let that happen " harry chuckled..

When Draco finally had his air back he leaned upright looking at harry " it was nice having you here "

" it was nice being here " harry smiled

" so, I guess, I'll see you around then ?" Draco asked awkwardly.

" right, yeah, of course " harry rambled.

" cool then " draco pressed his lips in a thin line, pushing his hands in his coat pocket.

" alright then. Bye " harry hesitated

" oh. Yeah..bye. see you again probably " draco replied

" yeah, might. Bye then "

" bye " and then finally harry stepped back one by one until he reached the door handle and turned around to walk out.

" fuck it " harry whispered under his breath and walked back to draco

" something wrong ?" Draco asked

" you. I don't care how stupid I might sound, but I like you, like I really really like you and I haven't felt his way for someone in a long time and I don't want to blow this away. So draco malfoy would you maybe want to go out with me someday even if I'm a complete insolent prat-"

" okay, yeah "draco grinned

" and I've got attitude problem and you possibly don't feel the same- wait- you said yes?" Harry rambled

" yep. I said yes " draco chuckled.

" oh. Then I'll definitely see you. Outside leaky cauldron, at 7 "

" you definitely will " draco smiled

" okay then" harry grinned as he started walking back again.

" okay "

" okay " harry bit his lip.

" I like you too by the way " draco chuckled

" I really have to go.. but it's good to know " harry chuckled..

" okay " and then harry finally left, after dancing in victory of course.

Requests open

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fluffy-lee-boa · 3 years

Text

Teaching Me How To Move On

(A SamBucky tickle fic :3)

@tickleebug requested some Sam and Bucky, so I went a little wild with it and made a short story to show how Bucky is adapting to his new life, and his new partner. Spoilers for Endgame/TFATWS btw!

“Buhucky! Cut it out!” Steve snorted, swatting at the younger’s arm as he lightly dug into his sides.

Before he’d taken the serum, it had been a well-known fact that Steve Rogers was probably one of the most ticklish guys in Brooklyn. Sure, he hated to admit it in public, and Bucky respected that, but when he and Bucky were hanging out at home? All bets were off.

So James Buchanan Barnes took every opportunity like this to tease the other about his sensitivity, sitting beside him and carefully scratching at all the spots he knew would make the other squeal. He never took it overboard, considering Steve’s fragile state, but he did tire the other out enough that he would be sure the smaller wouldn’t get revenge.

“Come on Stevie, there’s no way you’re gonna make the army if you can’t handle a little tickling,” he smirked at the other.

Steve gave an snort, slapping a hand to his face before shaking his head rapidly, “This is just tohorture!!”

“Mhm. And?” Bucky snickered as he trailed his hands up to Steve’s stomach, relishing in the deeper laughter that it gave him.

This certain brand of “torture” continued for a few minutes, interspersed with cruel teases and barely-masked flirting that the ever-oblivious Rogers seemed to let fly over his head. Though it was easy to tell Steve wasn’t trying very hard to escape the other’s grasp, especially considering how lightly Buck was holding him down in fear of injury. He could stop any time he wanted, really.

Bucky finally let up once the wheezing started, almost immediately leaving the room only to reappear with a cup of water. He couldn’t help the smug grin on his face as the other struggled to hide his deep blush. The moment was perfect.

Too perfect.

He would wait another day to tell him about his draft card. He didn’t want to ruin what they had just yet.

Years.

Years had gone by since that day- decades, even. He had gone for most of that time without Steve, without those affectionate touches and softness, and without love. He’d gone for even longer now that Steve was....

No, he didn’t like to think about the past few months. About how the very man he’d grown up with, who’d told him he’d be with him to the end of the line, got off early. -He couldn’t be angry with him, though. It was his life, after all. His choice. Steve would probably be better off with Peggy, anyways.

But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell, and that he was absolutely starved for affection with no one in the world to fix it for him.

Well... almost no one.

Admittedly, he’d grown closer to Sam in the time since the new Cap was gifted the shield. Despite his reservations, and the rocky start to their partnership, they’d come to an understanding. Especially after all they’d been through in their mission to stop Karli, and then Walker thereafter.

And there was the boat, of course. Bucky hadn’t even known Sam had a boat before this week- never even been near one besides during war times. Yet he found himself spending hours and even days of his time on helping him fix it. Then the days after that teaching the new Captain to toss the shield.

Was this what having a friend was like?

He couldn’t tell. I mean, after Steve, nothing was going to feel just right. ...Or so he thought.

See, even if Bucky had tried to deny it, Sam felt safe. He felt like Steve did. They shared that same big heart Bucky had always admired, and honestly, the shield couldn’t have found a better wielder. But on the other hand, Sam was also more honest, and more direct. That was something he needed after all those years of manipulation and self-pity. Not exactly tough love, but the truth. A kinder, softer truth.

“Hey! Buck!” Sam had called from the other side of the open field, between a few lone trees that were wrapped in foam.

Bucky looked up, torn from his deep thoughts about friendship and Captains and shields. He didn’t give away any of it through his glance, much better at hiding behind an emotionless mask these days.

“Are you gonna throw it back or what? -The shield, I mean.” the figure laughed.

James rolled his eyes and walked over, trying to play it off, “Your stance is off. You’re gonna get someone killed if you don’t have enough balance.”

“Balance my ass,” Sam scoffed jokingly as he took the shield back from the other, looking him over suspiciously, “...You’re just deflecting again. You’ve been spacing out like crazy today... did something happen?”

Ah, there was that signature therapist-like concern that Wilson managed to worm into every conversation. It made Bucky’s heart beat faster and his stomach flip and he hated it. No one had been this worried about him since he came back from the icy abyss of HYDRA’s control. No one else had checked up on him so consistently for no other gain than his continued wellbeing.

“I’m fine.” He shot back despite himself, half of a glare on his face as he turned away to go back to his spot.

Sam rolled his eyes at the other’s dramatics, at this point being readily used to the cold demeanor Bucky used to push aside his own feelings. But he wasn’t ready to let it slide this time around. So he stepped towards him after setting aside the vibranium shield, reaching out to stop him from walking away again.

Quite a few things happened after that, one after the other.

For one, Sam had underestimated how quickly Bucky could power-walk away from him, and ended up grazing his side with a small grabbing motion rather than taking him by the wrist.

From there, Bucky had faltered in his pace with a quick giggle, before looking back at the other with a somewhat horrified expression. Oh no.

It was painfully obvious to Sam now, by Buck’s initial reaction and the way he seemed just about ready to jump out of his skin.

“There is no way in hell....”

“Sam, you don’t want to do this-”

“You’re ticklish?!”

Bucky cringed, almost immediately blushing just as Steve had whenever he’d done the same to him back in Brooklyn. Karma may have been delayed for almost a century, but it sure did come back to bite him. Figures as much, right?

Bucky had started walking backwards away from the now-very-menacing falcon, though with the woods around them, his ankle caught on a rock and sent him flying back onto his butt. Figures even more.

Before he could up and scramble away, probably going to rush to Sarah and beg for protection, Sam had pounced. The super soldier found himself being straddled, which didn’t help his confusing feelings from before at all. He hands ended up under Sam’s knees, and even if he knew he could probably escape, he was concerned he’d end up hurting the other if he lost control of his own strength.

“Sam! Get off!” He said in a shockingly squeaky shout, obviously flustered.

“Nu-uh. I need to see this for myself.” Sam snickered, making the other look away as his blush deepened.

“You su-AHAHUCK-“

Before Bucky could articulate what would have totally been a coherent and witty response, Sam had taken the initiative and dug straight into the dip of his sides. There was an explosion of sunny and bubbly laughter that didn’t suit the awkward Soldier at all, making Sam beam down at the other.

Bucky internally cursed as he looked up and caught glimpse of the smile. He was too perfect- it was unfair!

Sam chuckled as he lightened up, tracing circles around his hips and making Bucky jerk back and forth with a few left over giggles, “Wowwww... It’s worse than I thought.”

“Shut the hell uhuhup...” Bucky muttered in embarrassment, making Wilson roll his eyes.

Sam knew he could definitely find a worse spot, and ignoring Bucky’s continued insults and thinly-veiled threats, he scanned the other’s upper body as thought to himself.

His metal arm probably couldn’t feel anything, right? But what about the spot just where the two met...?

Bucky noticed where his partner’s gaze had fallen, suddenly looking alarmed as he turned to begging, “Hey, wait, hold on, that’s a bad idea, Wilson. -Agh- Please? Is that what you want? Fine! I’m saying please-“

Sam just shook his head with that stupid, handsome smirk on his face, “Saying please isn’t gonna save you this time around. Tell me what’s wrong.... and I won’t absolutely wreck you. And trust me, I have an older sister. I know exactly how to do it.”

Bucky went quite besides his quick breathes and squirmy giggles, looking off to the side as he tried to consider his options despite the continued teasing of his sides and hips. But no- he couldn’t say what was really on his mind. Stubborn is as stubborn does.

“Do your worst.”

There was only a moment of reprieve as Wilson took in the other’s bratty reply, before he wiggled his fingers into that horrible dip between Buck’s metal arm and his ribs, right in the hollow. His other hand went to the rest of his rib cage just as quickly, alternating between both sides and dipping in between the spaces for added torture.

Bucky was pretty much lost in a handful of seconds.

He cackled, kicking his legs and pulling at his arms with only a shred of resistance from the last part of him that was conscious, which was still bent on making sure he didn’t hurt Sam.

But, that part of him could only hold out for so long, and when Sam found an extra sensitive spot between his ribs, Bucky ended up arching so suddenly that Sam was sent a good five feet away by his super strength.

Whoops.

There was a long pause as the air around them stilled once more, Sam laying feet away and laughing hysterically at his friend’s reaction while Bucky himself calmed himself down to a frenzy of frantic giggling.

After he was able to regain control of himself, he sat up to look over at Sam, his arms wrapped around his own torso protectively so the falcon could no longer access his weak spot. His voice was hoarse as he asked sheepishly, “...Are you ok?”

Sam’s own laughter died down, and he waved his hand dismissively, “Fine, fine. I shoulda expected it. You’re a hyper-ticklish super soldier. I’m just lucky you didn’t break my arm.“

Bucky didn’t find much humor in that joke, but he got up and made his way over to the other anyway. He held out his hand to help him stand beside him, and Wilson smiled softly at the other’s still reddened face, “Maybe we should do that more often. You’re cute when you’re blushing like that.”

And he walked away.

Bucky, for better or worse, didn’t have the same luxury that his old partner did of obliviousness to such direct declarations of affection, so he simply stood in shock as he was left in the small field of grass.

...Maybe, just maybe, his new life wasn’t as empty and lonely as he’d previously thought. Maybe Sam... could be what he really needed, as a partner, and as a friend.

Or.... maybe something more.

Lots of maybes today. But then again, when is anything ever certain?

#lee!bucky #ler!sam #marvel tickle fic #tickle fic #mcu tickle #marvel tickling

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noforkingclue · 3 years

Note

Ok so this is kind of silly but i hope u can write fic on master x reader based on i thought i lost you by miley&john travolta (bolt soundtrack) where they got separated or reader is 'rescued' from the master n is sort of rehabilitated from his 'brainwashing'. Master will do anything to be reunited once more with u. Thanks in advance. Btw thanks for writing for dw again.😍😍😍

You’re welcome! I’m so glad that people are happy that I’m writing Doctor Who again and I’m happy to be writing everyone’s requests as well!

I did go for Dark!Doctor in this, hope you don’t mind!

Title: Finding You Again

Doctor Who tag list: @v4n1r, @queerconfusionthings, @yourneighbourhoodclown, @love-of-fandoms, @emilythezeldafan, @fabulous-jj-style, @theseeker945, @pleadingeyes, @kjaneway1, @truthbehindthemysteries, @im-a-muggleborn

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary

“No!” you pounded your fists on the doors but they didn’t open, “No! Let me out of here right now!”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you fucking can!”

“It’s too dangerous out there.”

“No it isn’t,” you cried, “I was happy!”

“You only thought that. You were tricked into thinking that you were happy and safe.”

“No.”

“I’m sorry it has to be like this. I’m only looking out of you y/n.”

“Shut up.”

“Please don’t speak to me like that. I did save you after all.”

“Save me,” you yelled, “We’re in love and you forced me to leave! I was happy!”

The Doctor gave you a pitying look and shook her head. Her reaction made you want to hit her but instead you turned back around and focused your energy on trying to open the TARDIS. The Doctor walked towards you but you continued to ignore her.

“I don’t know what he’s done to you,” she said gently, as though she was trying to sooth a wild animal, “But I can promise you that I’ll fix it. You’ll be safe and free from him.”

“I don’t want that though.”

“It’s for the best.”

You turned around and the Doctor was right in front of you. She raised her hands and placed them on the side of your head. As she tangled her fingers in your hair tears poured down your face as you tried to shake yourself free.

“It’s for the best,” said the Doctor as she rest her forehead against yours, “You’ll see in time. Everything I do is for your safety.”

Then everything went black.

Although you loved travelling with the Doctor you always welcomed a trip back home. It was a nice way to refresh yourself after whatever dangerous situation you found yourself in. Recently though the Doctor had been reluctant to let you visit your home, saying that she had so many places to take you. However, the TARDIS was a literal time machine so you had all the time in the world and the Doctor couldn’t argue with that fact.

“Y/n?”

You stop and looked around, frowning when you heard you name. A strong hand landed on your shoulder and you were spun around quickly. You looked at the man in front of you with confusion.

“Umm, do I know you?”

“You don’t remember me?”

“I’m sorry,” you said, “But no. Can you let go of me please.”

The man frowned and leant closer causing you to lean away. He studied you intently before sighing.

“She’s altered your memories.”

“Who has?”

“The Doctor.”

This caused you to look at him intently.

“You know the Doctor?”

“All too well.”

“You use to travel with her?”

“In a way.”

“Oh?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Well I have time before I’m due back at the TARDIS. Why don’t we-“

“Y/n, there you are I’ve been-“

You looked over and saw the Doctor who was staring wide eyed at you and the stranger. Her eyes flicked between you and the man before she said,

“Get away from them.”

“Doc-“

“Not away y/n,” she said firmly, “We’re talking.”

“Never used to treat y/n like that,” said the man, “What happened Doctor? Afraid of losing again.”

“You hypnotised them,” she said, “I only undid everything you had done.”

“I did nothing! You’re the one destroying their mind and you know it!”

“Y/n’s safe with me.”

“But they were happy with me!”

“Will both of you please be quiet!” you said having enough of being left out, “And please tell me what’s going on.”

“He’s the Master.” said the Doctor

“The Master?” you said with a frown

“What’s the matter?” asked the Master, “Didn’t she tell you about me?”

“Not really…”

“Oh I’m hurt,” he said putting a hand over one of his hearts, “After all we’ve been through together, everything you’ve taken away from me, and you didn’t even mention me once!”

“That’s not- you started

“But now I’m taking back what’s mine.”

The Master’s grip suddenly tightened on you and you cried in pain. He gave you a brief look before clicking his finger. The doors of a nearby phone box swung open and he dragged you inside. The doors slammed shut behind you and you looked at them helplessly.

“Doctor!” you cried out

“Sorry love,” said the Master, “But this needs to be done.”

“What do you-“

You were roughly pushed up against the doors and you felt the TARDIS shudder as it took off. The Master had grabbed your shoulders and was keeping you in place and he press against you.

“This is going to hurt,” he said, “But it’s for the best.”

His hands moved to cup your head and he hesitated briefly when he saw your terrified expression. He gentled rested his forehead against yours, a movement you found strangely familiar, before your head erupted in pain. You shrieked and the Master’s arms encircled you and pressed you again him. Memories came flooding back, one with the Master when you were happy, initially meeting the Doctor and how shocked she was that you were with him and finally what she did to you. When the pain had subsided you collapsed against the Master’s chest.

“You came back for me.” You said eventually

“I thought I had lost you forever,” said the Master, “I couldn’t let that happen.”

“She’s never going to stop looking for us is she?”

“She’ll get bored,” the Master said and pressed a kiss against your forehead, “Unless you want to get revenge on her?”

“No, she’s not worth it.”

“Whatever you wish.”

“Master?”

“Yes love”

“Thank you for finding me.”

“Well now,” the Master wrapped an arm around your waist and led you deeper into his TARDIS, “I couldn’t let me favourite human go without fighting for them. I’d never let the Doctor split us apart. I’d do anything to keep you with me, remember that.”

#fanfiction #doctor who #reader insert #request #The Master #master x reader #dhawan!master #dhawan!master x reader

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twstdreams · 4 years

Note

The Draught of Sleeping Death ask was so interesting (and kinda angsty but in a good way!)! Could I please request a part 2 for when their crush actually wakes up after? Thank you! (btw i reread the request and you kinda forgot Jack so if you could plz add both of his reactions to when they drink it and when they wake up i’d appreciate it!)

Please reach out to your local crisis line if you experience any suicidal ideation like wanting to put yourself into a coma!

Here is the previous part! I decided to make scenarios that ended being a bit more difficult than I expected, but I’m pretty happy with it. I hope no one is out of character. Here is some more bittersweet moments and angst!

Warning: Suicidal and suicidal-esque ideation, attempted comatose state via potion, poor mental health, long post

Ruggie Bucchi

He waits and waits. Your chest continues to rise and fall as any person would. Each moment is excruciating. Even if you had amnesia and forgot all about him, that would be okay as long as you opened your eyes. Suddenly, you sneeze. Ruggie throws his arms around you. He almost wants to laugh. Of course, you wake up sneezing, not fluttering eyes or a gentle smile but a sneeze.

“Ruggie?” you call out his name gently, surprised to find yourself in his fierce embrace with him clinging onto you so tightly. You ask what’s wrong and he explains your predicament.

“What?!” you shriek, wide-eyed and jaw open. You must have messed up your potion or drank the one wrong because all you wanted was something to give you restful sleep, not a permanent coma.

“Tch, I can’t believe you drank something so dangerous!” Ruggie chides you for being so careless, making a mental note to take care of you to ensure something like this never happened again. He gently pokes your cheek as if to punish you, but the way you respond with a pout fills him with more relief than he cares to admit. Only the conscious can react after all.

“Wait, does... doesn’t that mean you’re my true love?” you murmur. Soon enough both of your cheeks are painted a blush to rival sunsets in the Afterglow Savannah but a smile worms its way onto your face.

“I’m glad it’s you.” You both share the same sentiment. You pepper his face with butterfly kisses while teasing him about being your knight in shining armour. Each peck helps soothe his heart and reaffirm that you are indeed alive and well.

Leona Kingscholar

His tail waves back and forth as he impatiently waits for any signs of consciousness. It feels like the universe is getting back at him, telling Leona that it’s his turn to wait. The more time passes, the more he wants to curse at the world. It gave him nothing. Not the crown, not the understanding of his family, not the adoration of his people, and now it wouldn’t even let him have you. He stares at the window, unable to bear looking at your body any longer. Almost as if he looked away, he wouldn’t have to accept the possibility that you would remain in an eternal slumber.

“Leona?” your voice croaks and he whips around so fast you’re surprised his neck doesn’t hurt.

“It’s you? You love me?” you ask but you’re met with a grimace from Leona. He knows you know. And since you know that true love’s kiss is the only way to break the spell, it meant you purposefully drank the potion.

“Why?” It’s not a roar. It’s not a demand. It’s barely a question. It’s a whisper to the wind but requires an answer nonetheless.

“I just...I just wanted the pain to end,” you reply, voice cracking halfway through, “It was so much. Too much.” Tears begin welling in your eyes. Just remembering your desolate state when you drank the potion out of sheer desperation threatens to spiral your fragile stability.

“Do I look weak? Dumb?” Leona murmurs. You think it’s supposed to come out as annoyed but his words are too thick with emotion to disguise his sadness.

“No? That’s not what I... What?” You can’t understand what he’s saying and the tears begin to fall down freely from your face.

“Then, you should share it with me,” he says firmly while sitting down beside you on the bed.

“It?” you repeat while sniffling.

“Anything, everything,” Leona pauses as if carefully considering his words. He suddenly pulls you into a hug, placing your head against his chest. To your surprise, his heart is hammering and you know you’re the cause.

“Your pain, your struggles,” the words are lodged in his throat and Leona struggles not to clam up. He hates being vulnerable, he despises leaving his heart out in the open, practically begging to be stabbed. But he knows that’s what contributed to this mess in the first place. And it hurts. Your eyes are brimming with tears that he caused. So he forges on even if his words are gruff, “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.” He kisses your forehead to affirm his answer. And then you hold him tightly and cry freely. Your burdens are still heavy and there are some battles you know Leona cannot fight for you. However, you find comfort in his embrace and in the knowledge that he will hold your hand through all the trials.

Kalim Al Asim

“Hey, hey are you awake?” he asks desperately. You have to wake up. How else are you supposed to go on magic carpet rides with him? Didn’t you say you were excited for Bean day? Weren’t you excited to try out that new cake from the café downtown?

He calls out your name again and again while giving your shoulder a little shake. When your eyes begin to open, Kalim throws himself at you. Tears fall freely from his eyes.

“I’m so glad you’re awake!” It’s a mess as he alternates between sobs and exclamations of happiness. You barely have time to react and pat him on the back.

“Yeah, thanks to you,” you reassure softly. It’s not exactly ideal to have Kalim crying but you’re happy to know he cares so much.

“You know, I’m your true love, right?” he asks, staring you into your eyes with his ruby ones. The bold declaration makes you blush but you nod anyway, “So depend on me okay? I’m here for whatever you need! Anytime! Anywhere! If you’re ever worried, we can sing and dance our troubles away!”

“And if singing and dancing aren’t enough?” Your question doesn’t come from a place of malice but Kalim is silent for a moment while digesting your words.

“Then we can eat, or go on a magic carpet ride!” he responds with confidence, “And if that doesn’t work, we’ll try something else! I won’t give up until you smile!” Tears streak his cheeks, his outfit is a mess, yet you believe him anyway. He brings a shaky grin to your lips.

“Okay.” You give your tear-stained lover a soft kiss. “We’re in this together.”

A couple days pass and yet Kalim asks nothing about the incidence. He simply reminds you that he is here whenever you need and that he adores you. You keep waiting for the inevitable interrogation but it never comes.

“Aren’t you going to ask me about what happened?” you inquire one day while on a carpet ride, knowing that your words will only reach Kalim’s ears and no one else’s.

“I want to.” He answers so quickly that you’re caught off guard, but his next words steal your breath away. “I was going to ask, but I didn’t want to make you sad. I know that... that you were really sad and suffering. And that every time someone brings it up, your smile goes away.”

He hums out loud while trying to parse together a sentence to express his feelings. Kalim doesn’t want to be oblivious to your feelings and risk destroying this relationship. He wants to do better this time. He wants to be better.

“I ... I don’t know how to ask without hurting you. So, you can just tell me when you’re ready and I’ll listen!” You feel so much relief. You embrace him in a tight hug and murmur words of thanks.

Jamil Viper

There’s a war in Jamil’s heart. Hope dangerously swells within it, wishing that you would wake up. Doubt creeps on the edges, whispering about how his flimsy feelings wouldn’t shake you from the coma’s grasp. He doesn’t know which half is right and the wait is antagonizing.

Your fingers twitch and he calls out your name softly. He wants you to wake up so badly, he can’t even deny it. The amount of emotion eating away at him is unbearable yet it would all be worth it if you only opened your eyes. You who listened. You who understood. You who offered a hand when asked. You who respected his space. You who lit up with a smile whenever he offered you a dish. You who always insisted on cleaning the dishes as payment. You who would drop by with a thermos of tea or a cup of water to make sure he was taking care of himself too. You, whose name is etched in his heart, even if he has trouble admitting it aloud.

Your hand lightly squeezes his own and he intertwines his fingers with yours. He’s never found hand-holding so comforting until now. You’re tired but you try to bring a feeble grin to your face for his sake.

Jamil has so many questions but he starts with the most important one, “How are you feeling?” Your lips press tightly together and you tear your eyes away from his gaze. He squeezes your hand a little but says nothing else.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice wobbles but your words are sincere. His thumb traces circles in the back of your palm, allowing you the decision to continue or not.

“I...” Words are so hard, but you want him to know. Jamil came to your side, didn’t he? He is your true love, isn’t he? You gulp a bit and allow yourself some time to gather courage.

“I, I wanted control. I hate feeling like I can’t control anything. Like this is the only way I can decide for myself, and ...” But words fail you as tears begin falling from your eyes. It’s too much. You can’t decide if you hate yourself or the world more.

Your words cause his chest to feel tight. Oh he knows, he knows. The desperation, the fear, the anger, the hatred, all emotions that are familiar to him. There is nothing more soul-crushing than to lose control over your own life.

Jamil stays silent, unwilling to offer up empty promises and words laced with pity. Instead, he kisses your tears away. It’s unusually tender, but rather than risk the wrong words, Jamil decides to let actions speak for themselves. He lets each soft peck convey his love, his presence, his commitment. And slowly but surely, your waterfall of tears decreases to a trickle and then nothing at all.

Jack Howl

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP!

It’s the only thing he can think of as he stares at your resting form. Jack has never felt so powerless before. No matter how much he trains, it won’t amount to anything because it’s not a magical skill that will bring you back. It’s true love. True love’s kiss. The one thing he doubts he can give you. The one thing no one has managed to give you.

His eyes widen as he hears your breathing begin to increase. Your slow steady pace starts to quicken and his own heart is hammering in his chest. Are you waking up? Jack kneels beside your bed and watches expectantly. Your eyes open to meet your golden ones. Your arms reach out to him tentatively, wondering if he’s merely an illusion. To your surprise, strong arms embrace your body and his hair tickles your skin.

“Jack,” you call out softly and the twitch of his tail lets you know he heard you. However, he says nothing. You expect a couple swift and blunt statements about your idiotic actions but they never come. Instead, with your bodies pressed together, you can feel him tremble. It’s faint, but he’s more shaken than you’ve ever seen Jack. Angry, indignant, confident, embarrassed, and righteous were all emotions you’d seen Jack wear but this was the first time you’d seen him so unsure about someone else.

“Thank you,” you add, unsure what other sentiments you should share. You worry declarations of any feeling deeper than gratitude will end the moment and Jack will shirk away at such strong emotions. You tighten your grip, hoping at least you can relish in this hug and the comfort it brings.

Jack loosens his hold so he can look straight into your eyes. His gaze is so intense that you want to avert your own yet find yourself unable to do anything but look back. Your name leaves his lips, soft but firm and undeniable. You nod slightly and wait for him to continue.

“I ... you ... that is,” Jack clenches his jaw but pushes forward past his uncertainties and lingering cowardice, “You ... You give me purpose.” You let out a gasp. Jack knows it’s dangerous to attach purpose to someone else, to give them so much power over himself. He’s always wanted to be a man with a true core purpose and your slumber made him realize that it was you. When you were under that spell, he fell apart and that’s why he’s so sure.

The weight of his words is not lost on you. It’s nothing short of a confession of love that makes your eyes shine with unshed tears. You’re amazed at the depth of his feelings and how far you two have come.

“I love you.” Your words are simple and clear, delivered with a sincere smile. Even though Jack knows this, you are his true love after all, it still manages to make him blush. You let out a small laugh but before Jack can retort, you seal his lips with a kiss.

750 notes · View notes

marswritingss · 4 years

Text

karasuno and nekoma’s manager with an ed and selfharm

req: um hello 👉🏼👈🏼 I saw you were doing emergency requests and, unless you're uncomfy with it, could i request karasuno and nekoma comforting their manager who has an eating disorder (anorexia) and/or self harms? ive been going through a tough time with my ed and self harm. if you feel uncomfortable writing this, its totally fine i understand! have a good day/night 💕

me: ofc baby! i’m glad you trusted me in this and i hope you know that you’re amazing and deserve to be happy. keep on going, if you’ve hit the bottom now you can only go better :)) if you ever need to talk just dm me or send it here anonymously :)

warnings: eating disorder and self harm,,, but it all ends up being fluff bc baby here needs it

oh god i’m here after finishing it i might have made it too angsty shit

also yes i’m still working on my other requests but as you’ve seen this is an emergency req and somehow i managed to pull out some ideas while i was taking a shower and come up with something as fast as i could

btw i feel i focused more in the ed part than in the self harm part so if you want me to rewrite this i'll do it gladly! <33

another note: at first i had written one paragraph in female, and i obviously had to change it, but i didn’t know how to change female volleyball team to something neutral, so i just created this miyagi under 18 volleyball group where you happened to play :))

karasuno

– ok what happened is that you used to do volleyball, though not in highschool, but in a group, because you had forgotten to sign up for the club and when you realised, it was too late

– but uH

– well

– it happened that you had to stop playing it because of an injury on your first year of highschool (you were a second year)

– kiyoko knew you because her cousin was friends with you, and when she learned that you did know volleyball, she didn’t hesitate to ask you to join her and yachi

– so there you were, one month after recruiting you, you had developed friendships with everyone and the whole team adored you

– but they didn’t know about your habits, and the pants and jacket you wore everytime to the gym covered enough to not look suspicious

– so daichi didn’t think there would be a problem about organizing a trip to the beach

– at first you were going to turn the invitation, but the look yachi, hinata and noya gave you made you bit your inner cheek and say yes

– well, you could always stay under the umbrella and read something, and maybe even talk with tsukki or ennoshita

– the point is, you weren’t going to show your thighs, much less take a bath. and you didn’t have a problem! your body had no reserves of fat, which made your body not be able to preserve any heat

– i’m pretty sure i read that you can’t preserve heat in your body which makes you grow more hair somewhere but if i’m wrong please call me out

– if hinata or yamaguchi asked you why were you wearing long jeans, you could just tell them you hadn’t shaved that day

– your plan was going to be alright, you had it under control

– so the day arrived.

– you were in a hoodie and jeans, just like you planned

– i mean, it wasn’t even summer, the volleyball idiots just happened to be too warm to be able to go to the beach in may

– so there wasn’t anything odd

– or so you thought

“pfff are you going to make a sandman y/n?” asked tsukki

“oh, no i-”

“yeah y/n! it’s too hot to be wearing hoodies!”

“oi! let her wear what she wants” said daichi

– bless him tbh

– so you sat in your towel and started thinking

"you have it all under control” you muttered to yourself, not knowing ennoshita was listening

“what?” he asked

“oh, it’s nothing” you brushed off

“stupid! you almost discover yourself!” you scolded in your mind

– appart from that. no one seemed to know anything

– so you sent the thought to the back of your mind and took out a book

– ahh it was a nice day

– you hadn’t had to eat anything and the coke you had had earlier was enough to keep you up so you didn’t have to ingest anything else, and you hadn’t had any urges so your wounds from yesterday were already healing

– but

– somehow, the temperature started rising

– and, without thinking about it, you rolled your sleeves a bit up

– suga almost fainted when he saw, and ennoshita had to keep him from going there and lecture you

– you hadn’t noticed any of this so you kept reading

“we should see how y/n behaves and talk to her accordingly” told ennoshita to suga, who nodded

– when you realised you had rolled up your sleeves, showing your skinny arm and some of your wounds, you panicked. but no one had told you anything, and you knew that if anyone knew they would’ve told you anything, so you reminded yourself to be more careful

– oh, how wrong you were

“do you want some onigiri, y/n?” kageyama asked, handing you one. it smelled amazing, and you had to dig your nails on your palms before denying

“no thanks” you said with a smile

“but these were made by my mom!” said hinata “you have to try them out!”

– one bite didn’t hurt, did it?

“yes it does” you told yourself

– you shook your head and told them you were going on a walk

– hopefully they’d be too distracted on eating that they wouldn’t think about it too much

– and tsukki, of all people, asked if he could go with you. you didn’t want to leave suspicions so you accepted

– you didn’t know, but he had realised that the amount of food you ate was too little, even for him, and that sometimes you seemed to make faces when noya would drag you by the arm

– so when he saw the two moms of the team panicking over you, and your rolled up sleeves, he confirmed it

“ennoshita-san, sugawara-san, i’ve seen you’ve realised about y/n... habits” he said. ennoshita looking at him in surprise. “i was thinking about talking to them later, since they’ll probably run away as soon as the two simpletons bring the food”

“mmmm” nodded suga. “be careful though, we don’t really know about how far the situation has gone”

– so there he was, walking with you asking himself how to bring the topic

– you were thinking about what excuse to use if he happened to know, when you felt your legs fail and almost drop you

– this looks like a tsukki hc wtf i’m sorry hol on

– anyway so this guy ends up dragging you and saying things you can’t even focus on because you don’t have the energy

– hinata and noya panic and ask if you’re going to be okay

– daichi calms them while suga and asahi help you sit down

“what happened?” asks

– you’re about to pull off an excuse when ennoshita talks lowly enough so only daichi suga asahi and you can hear

“can’t you see?” he says you think he’s disgusted but he’s actually worried and mad that no one had realised before “y/n isn’t okay, they haven’t eaten yet, and the wounds in their arms are affecting them

– you felt your tears appear

– suga tried comforting you by rubbing his hand in your back

“it’s okay, we’ll figure something out” he said

– then you started crying, and hinata panicked for the second time and ran to hug you

“i’m sorry i’m not enough” you said between sobs. you were frustrated with yourself and started to feel the urge to rip off the skin that had formed in your wounds

– both suga and daichi looked at you, while hinata hugged you tighter, as if you were going to leave

“what do you mean?” asked kageyama, he was behind asahi, who had been looking at you with pity

“i don’t want your pity” you thought, asahi smiled at you even though you probably had sent him a death glare

“i’m...” you started, but shut yourself as you didn’t know what to say.

“oi! y/n!” called tanaka, a bit harshly. daichi stiffened as he thought how tanaka was sometimes too brute with words “you’re beautiful as hell!” he said punching the air

“heck yeah!” said noya, jumping “you’re the most beautiful person i’ve seen!”

“y/n you’re so cute! when you enter the gym is like whaaaam and... uhhh” started hinata “and booooooom” he said flailing his hands around

– you laughed a bit

– daichi smiled relieved

– maybe the pair knew how to handle

– that day ended up you getting hugged by everyone and ennoshita staying with you while wathcing noya and hinata bully tsukki splashing water to him while yamaguchi screamed ‘tsukki!!!!’

“you know y/n,” he started. asahi was on your other side “you can always count on us” he said while smiling “you helped us getting back to volleyball, even though you were still on your club and probably thought some coward first years wouldn’t be worthy. i think we owe you that one” he said. you remembered that. he had stumbled across you, the intimidating first year setter who had saved the current Under 18 Miyagi prefecture Volleyball Club from lacking a setter, how you had heard sometimes. ah, you missed these times. you hadn’t entered the shit hole that was now, and your mood had always been bright.

– you smiled and muttered a “thank you”

– now, noya and tanaka keep track of you and how you’re feeling while ennoshita asks you how are you everytime your class ends, since you were in the same class.

– the third years now take turns to compliment you everyday. and i mean EVERY day

“hey y/n! you look very pretty today” says asahi while blushing. behind you, daichi and suga give him a thumbs up

“damn! these stats look really neat!” says hinata

“y/n was the one arranging them boke, of course they look neat” says kageyama

– everyday team hugs

– kiyoko hugs>>>>

– yachi ends up offering some of her food, but never complains nor pushes you if you’re not feeling like eating that day

– after a while, you start feeling way better, and even build up the courage to ask for help, which makes sugamama proud

– tanaka defo cries when you announce you’ll be visiting a therapist two days a week

– this turned to be ennoshita and tsukki hcs i’m so sorry-

nekoma

– so kuroo, being the eighty years old he is (and sometimes kind of a mom, even tho the official one is yaku), he always reminded everyone to eat their food and drink water, and being so persistent, he thought everyone took care of themselves, especially their precious manager that tora had been whipped by when he knew nekoma did in fact have a manager

– but oh, boy

– he didn’t know about your problems with food and how you punished yourself

– kenma already knew about it. he had found you in the gym bathroom when you were purging (ik the ones who purge are more tended to be bulimic, but i really didn’t know how to make this happen, sowwy) after eating for the first time in twenty hours a few months ago, but he had promised to not say anything as he knew these things weren’t to take lightly

– but he did check up on your mood and asked you if you felt better or worse than the day before

– he did in fact, felt bad about not being able to help you in any other way, but he genuinely didn’t know how to talk about it properly with you and he didn’t want to hit a nerve

– kuroo surprisingly hadn’t discovered anything, even though you weren’t the most secretive about it and he was quite intuitive in these topics

– until shinzen training camp

– the coaches had decided to pull a two weeks training camp, somehow, and, as always, your team was invited

– you weren’t worried, you had already gone through two years full of training camps and you were a pro at choosing the food at the cafeteria with the least calories, usually giving half of it to yukie

– the first week went alright. kenma kept sneaking to the sidelines to ask you how were you feeling that day, and yukie ate the halves of your food. so far, training camp was going quite well. you had had only felt a few urges you could perfectly satisfy by sinking your nails in your thighs, and brush it off as nervousness

– however, the second week was a complete disaster

– your thoughts hit you like the bus hit regina george, and ended up almost banging your head against the wall in order to shut down those feelings, and it only had been two hours since you had woken up

– as soon as lunch started, you felt like puking when you felt the smell of the food. not even the low calories noodles could shut the feeling

– so you ended up almost having a panick attack, which you were able to stop as soon as you felt the familiar numbness that had taken over your body countless times

– but you still ran away to calm yourself in a less crowded place

– the third years were worried. although they had been with you three years, they had never seen you run with such look in the face, and ended up sending kai to ask you, since they didn’t want to crowd and overwhelm you

“y/n?” asked while blushing because he was entering in the managers bathroom (bless him)

– he found you swinging yourself in the last bathroom, trying to block everything in your surroundings. there were tears in your eyes, now pressed and closed, and you were hugging yourself putting your forehead (which i wanna kith bc YOU DESERVE THE WORLD OKAY) against your knees and your face between your legs. you hadn’t seen him

– he didn’t move as he didn’t want to scare you, you seemed really really distressed, you were hyperventilating and rubbing your ahdns up your arms, trying to find some heat

– when you felt better, although you were still shaking, you saw him, smiling fondly in aim to ensure you that everything was going to be alright

“s-sorry...” you said, looking down. he looked at you like asking what were you talking about. “i... i uhhh... i ruined your lunch... sorry about that”

“oh! don’t worry about that y/n, how are you feeling right now?” he asked, he had crouched down to hug you and look at you, and was now rubbing the back of your hands in a really soothing way

“i don’t really know...” you said, lost

– and the other barged down but more lowkey

“y/n! are you okay? are you feeling alright?” asked yaku, looking at you worried

“yakkun” said kuroo, warning that he was in fact, acting out of his motherly instints and overwhelming you

– so you stayed there with them feeling more and more calmed until you built up the courage to get up and walk to the sink, where you splashed your face with water and let the cold of it relax you. you felt like you had to explain a few things, even though you had the feeling that they knew already

“i owe you guys an explanation” you said

“it’s okay y/n, you don’t owe us anything-”

“kuroo, i do” you said, sharply. you were familiar with them, and they had already seen you changning yourself (don’t even ask about this, it just happened in your first year when you hadn’t hit rock bottom and still felt alright with your body, so you hadn’t mind when the managers changing room was locked and you changed on the club room). but it didn’t mean they weren’t weirded out when you started pulling down your pants, showing them the scars and wounds that covered most of your skinny thighs.

– they were confused, and then, when they connectted the dots, concern took over their faces

“y/n...” said yaku, hugging you. it was weird by the fact that your pants were down, but you really didn’t mind at this point.

“it’s alright” you said, but the tears streaming down your face again said otherwise

“how much has this been going on?” asked kuroo, not sounding with an angry tone, but more of a concerned one.

“um...” you rubbed the back of your neck “ i started feeling the urges in the middle of the second year...”

– yaku tightened the hug, warming you

“it’s okay, you can count on us” he said

– when you felt better, lunch had already ended, but kenma had kept a tray with a bit of everything for you in case you needed something, which you did, but didn’t want to eat.

– but the look in kuroo’s face and the warming hand that kai had placed in your back made you feel better and helped you push down the feeling of grossness, so you took a bit of a few things

– the third years stuck around you the rest of the week, sending smiles or reassurance everytime you felt negatively

– none of the first years know anything, but kuroo has imposed a rule of not talking about certain topics such as body types or calories, and yaku ripped the posters of girls in bikinis off the walls of the clubroom

– tora doesn’t know the full story, but he now praises you (as he should) and is more careful with what does he say

– kenma keeps asking you how are you doing, with the addition of fukunaga looking at you with platonic love eyes (i hope y’all know what i mean or ima end up embarrashing myself-)

– kuroo tells you facts about health that make you feel better

“y/n, did you know that stress can give you bad headaches? take a relax day today” says one time, that day, practice ends up early even though it’s saturday (usually the toughest days) and the whole team goes walking around the city (kenma and you pet a cat and lev get shit on by a pigeon)

– shibayama hugs you daily, to which lev joins and inuoka and tamahiko

– the team helps you when you start your medication, and don’t hesitate to sit you down and take your duties when you feel low and have to take a rest, and when you tell them they don’t need you, yaku says “but we want to” heroically, and hands the stack of papers to kuroo

– aaa you (we) love them so much,,,

– hope i made you feel better! i’m still hesitant about some parts, but i wanted to finish it a soon as possible so i’d be able to post it hihi

– i’m still saying, if you need to talk or feel low, don’t doubt to dm me! i’m open about talking about anything, and i’d love to help in anything that’s possible 🥺. reminder too that you are loved and deserve to be happy, despite what you think! you’re beautiful and you don’t need anyone’s approval to feel as valid as the rest. you’ve got this! <3

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu x y/n #karasuno #karasuno x reader #karasuno hcs #karasuno x y/n #karasuno manager #manager reader #nekoma #nekoma x reader #nekoma x y/n #nekoma hcs #nekoma manager #emergency request

191 notes · View notes

moonflower-31 · 4 years

Text

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer x Reader

Masterlist

Part 23

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

A/N: So... Long time no talk? Sorry guys. Depression sucks and so does life. What can ya do. But I hope this is good. My school just went on lockdown for 2 weeks so i should be able to get back into the swing of things. No guarantees btw. But please enjoy this part. I think it’s pretty good for someone who hasn’t written for two weeks. XD

Warnings: A lot of shouting, cursing, name-calling, self-doubt (obviously), and slightly panic attack (I’ll go more into it in the next part)

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner, @egg-boy03, @helena-way07, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @serendipity-imagines, @kaelyn-lobrutto24, @thatsonezesty13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week later, and you had finally been released from the hospital. Your infection had gotten to a manageable point where you could just take antibiotics and be cured of it in a few more weeks. Spencer had spent the entire time with you, never leaving your side. Except when you had to use the restroom. Obviously.

"Spence… you gotta shower, seriously. I'm thankful, really, that you stayed with me all week. But you need a shower. Bad." You insist, hobbling slightly as you walk out of the hospital.

You sigh softly to yourself, closing your eyes tightly for a moment as you waited for Spencer. Trying to hide the ever growing terror that filled your heart was getting increasingly harder to hide. But you didn't have time for therapy or to feel sorry for yourself. The BAU never made your case an active one despite two agents having gone missing and being taken. Which told you well enough that you weren't worth the time. Serial killers deserved more attention than you.

"Hey, are you okay, (Y/N)?"

The sudden touch to your shoulder plus the speech coming from Spencer pulled a shriek from your lungs. You jumped and looked toward Spencer terrified for a few agonizingly long moments.

You took a deep breath and refocused your breathing, hoping to ease your racing heart back to it's slightly less annoying rhythm.

"Y-yeah…" you murmur, shaking your head in an attempt to clear your mind. You also cleared your throat for good measure. "Yeah, I uh… I'm okay. Just a little… jumpy is all."

Spencer’s frown deepens on his face, looking towards you sadly. Was this really the time for him to tell you how he felt? No, it really wasn't. You were healing. No, you are healing. You didn't need the confusion of a brand new romantic relationship to be added to your already overflowing plate.

"Well… I'm here if you need me." Spencer assured, flashing a gentle smile towards you. You sighed and nodded back to hin.

"Yeah, yeah," you exhaled, looking away from Spencer and not meeting his gaze. "Thanks."

Spencer could feel the wedge you were unknowingly making grow between you. He hoped he could help you. After Hankel, he had hardly anyone. If he could make a difference in your PTSD, he would. He would try his damndest even if it killed him.

"Well… I can at least get you back to the apartment. I'm sure Hotch will understand why I'm a few minutes late-" Spencer began, directing you towards the parking lot. He looked back at you and saw a flash of fear run over your (E/C) eyes as you stopped.

"N-no. No, I need to get back to work. I don't have any vacation days saved up. I gotta go with you to work." You insisted, feeling a heavy stone of fear weigh on your chest.

Spencer narrowed his eyes and looked over at you, stopping in his tracks. "(Y/N), Hotch gave you vacation days. You don't have to go back right now-"

"No, Spencer. I'm going back. The team needs me. If I'm alone, Peter’s gonna have a better chance at finding me so-" the tears began falling before you could even realize. You feel your voice crack in your throat and all you knew to do was cover your mouth and try to smother your sobs.

Spencer’s arms were around you before you could say, his hand rubbing your back while his other cradled your head. He didn't say anything, he just held you. You were thankful he hadn't. It was all you could do to keep your hand over your mouth and the other fisted in Spencer's days old cardigan.

After what felt like forever, (reality was five minutes) Spencer pulled slightly away and tilted your head up to encourage you to look at him. "W-why don't we just get in the car for now? Figure things out on the way?" Spencer asked. Maybe you could still work. But he would put his foot down personally if you did anything other than desk work.

You nodded subtly and swallowed what remained of your sobs. Spencer smiled gently and began guiding you towards the parking lot gently, not forcing you to venture any faster than you felt comfortable.

You found yourself wandering with your eyes across the street, having become more vigilant and observant since your capture. Everything seemed normal. Couples were walking together hand in hand, some with kids. Some business men and women walked with their phones glued to their ears while some people were carrying groceries to their car. It wasn't suspicious at all. It should have calmed you. But it didn't. The only thing you found yourself able to be calm about was the fact that Spencer had his arms around you. That was what made you feel safe.

Spencer looked towards you, watching you for a few moments. He watched your eyes wandering frantically across the parking lot and put two and two together. Just being in the parking lot scared you. Spencer couldn’t help but relate. The crunch of leaves had been his trigger for a few weeks after his kidnapping. Spencer squeezed you closer and rubbed your shoulder to get your attention. You turn your head back towards him, finding a relieving inhale enter you at the sight of his kind eyes once again looking into yours. “I’ll go pull up the car. You think you can stay here for a few seconds?” He asks. A jolt of regret strikes him as he sees the fear fill your pupils. But you don’t verbalize these fears. Instead you nodded silently.

Spencer gave you a gentle grin before he went to go bring the car towards you. That way you didn’t have to step foot in the parking lot. He knew he was probably risking a few things, but at least you didn’t have to be fearful of the asphalt.

You bit your lip anxiously, the hairs on your arms raising in false alarm. You knew you were safe. Your brain knew you were safe. But your heart was in overdrive. It had stolen the control console from your brain and was currently making you an emotional and anxious mess. A part of you didn’t want to go to work. It wanted to take your time to recover. But the rest of you was adamant on going. The case hadn’t been made priority. They were just lucky that no cases were deemed important enough for the BAU to help during the week you and Morgan had been missing.

You remained lost in your thoughts until you felt the touch of Spencer’s hand on your shoulder. You looked up and gave him a gentle smile.

“We’re gonna be late if we don’t go now. We have 39 minutes till we are considered late.” Spencer informs, trying not to derail from his normal personality so much that you noticed. He hated being pitied. And he knew that you did as well.

You nodded and began to follow. You climbed into the passenger seat and fastened your seatbelt. Your hands flexed and moved anxiously, unable to sit still. You took a few deep breaths, hearing Spencer get into the car alongside you.

You finally opened your eyes and felt the car roar to life underneath you. You were heading back to work. You'd get back to normal soon. You had to.

○●♡●○

The both of you had found a comfortable silence in the transport to the BAU. Spencer kept a comforting hand in yours, allowing you to squeeze it when needed.

But now, as Spencer pulled into his usual parking spot, did your chest begin to tighten somewhat. You hadn't been here for what felt like years. Peter had abducted you from this very parking lot. Anyone would understandably be anxious.

But by some miracle, you managed to keep your anxieties covert as Spencer and you got out of the car. Of course, Spencer suspected you had a little fear from being back here, but didn't push you. Many statistics had shown in the past that forcing a PTSD victim to share their trauma without it being their terms can be destructive to their mental health. Translation: He wasn't going to ask you about it.

The ride up the elevator was torturous. Slow, agonizing, and not to mention extremely long. You found yourself fidgeting and moving in place rather than standing still. You'd never done this before. To say it didn't worry you would be a very big lie.

"Are you sure you're ready, (Y/N)? You can always utilize the time off Hotch gave you."

You appreciated Spencer’s worry, you really did. It helped to have someone there who was willing to care when you weren't. But that didn't mean that you still didn't get somewhat annoyed over the continuous asking.

"Yeah, I'm fine Spencer. I just need to get my mind off…" you stopped and pushed a heavy exhale from your chest. "Everything."

Spencer didn't push, and soon enough the two of you were inside the BAU's glass doors, walking towards the familiar bullpen. You subconsciously fix the cuffs of your dress shirt, avoiding the eyes of everyone who was shocked to see you.

You sighed softly as you both continued into the bullpen, meeting the eyes of two of your coworkers.

"(Y/N), What are you doing back so early? You have like, 5 weeks of available off time. You need to rest yourself. And your mind. Trauma isn't something that should be taken lightly." Prentiss spoke, stopping in your tracks to keep you from getting to your desk.

Spencer, unbeknownst to you, made a cut it out gesture to Emily and cleared his throat. "It's alright. She's only going to be doing reports and desk work." Spencer expressed, looking around at everyone who had decided to turn around a watch.

Emily sighed. "Alright. But I'm not going to let you go on any cases. I'm still your supervisory agent. You're lucky we're free of the more important cases so we've been working on yours." You feel an icy stab to the chest from her comment, reminding you of how unimportant you felt. You swallowed dryly and nodded, not caring that you hadn't said a word and had let Spencer talk for you. You didn't feel like talking anyway.

You then sat down at your desk with a sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you felt the familiar breeze that came with a stack of reports falling onto your desk.

You nodded towards whoever it was that gave you the reports and then started on them. It wasn't long until you had managed to clear all of your feelings from your mind and instead hyperfocus on the reports and the details in each.

You lost track of so much time, that when Spencer put a cup of coffee on your desk, you jumped and almost verbally cursed.

"Jesus-" you began, holding your chest for a moment. Spencer’s eyes widened and held his hands up once the coffee was safely level on your desk.

"S-sorry. I-I just thought you could use a little bit of a 'pick-me-up' or whatever Morgan said it was." He seemed nervous, his hand finding his neck soon after finishing his statement.

You smile at him genuinely for what feels like the first time in weeks and nod to him. "Yeah… I needed it. Thank you, Spence."

Spencer’s eyes almost twinkle with happiness at your reply, his cheeks growing red and his smile appearing on his face as he goes back to his desk behind yours.

Then the moment ended.

"(L/N)? What are you doing back so early?"

You turn your head and find Hotch walking towards your desk. You swallow a nervous laugh and instead begin to find a way to reply for yourself. Spencer didn't need to defend you forever.

"Hotch… I can't stay at home like that. I need to keep my mind focused on something else. I can't sit by when you all still need my help. My case wasn't made of importance. Why should I treat it like it is?" You insist, shoving down the sob that desperately wanted to escape your throat.

Hotch sighed and began to speak "(Y/N)..."

"No. Let me speak. I'm not going to sit on my ass at home while you all work on the case that almost got Morgan killed. I'm going to help you. Its here at home. I won't have to go anywhere." Every part of you was begging for Hotch to understand. That he would give you a chance.

Hotch gave you a questioning look for a few moments, allowing you to finish if you chose to continue, before he spoke up. "Just because you're healed physically doesn't mean you're better mentally. You went through something noone can relate to. You need to take the time to heal."

"But I'm needed here, Hotch. I'm not going to go home and do nothing. It's just not my style. Now if you'll let me, I have a few more reports to do from this pile." You deadpan, gritting your teeth as you sit back down at your desk to finish reports filled with information you would never forget.

Hotch sighed, looking back at Spencer for a moment before he turned around and began to continue on his list of things to do.

You sighed and grumbled to yourself, trying to focus your emotions yet again so that you could finish the reports on your desk. But as fate would have it, you couldn't do that.

"(Y/N/N)... Would you like to take a walk with me? It's almost our break. Maybe you could use a bit of fresh air? Scientifically, going outside helps to clear your lungs as well as lower blood pressure and heart rate." Spencer spoke up, tapping your shoulder gently once he knew he had your attention.

You shook your head and cleared your throat. "No… no I'm going to finish these reports first. They're more important." You start.

Spencer shook his head, his eyes widened slightly. "No," he starts, standing up and walking over to you. "These reports aren't more important than your well-being. I haven't pushed because I want you to talk when you're ready. But you can't act like you aren't important."

You scoff and go to reply, just as the sound of a slamming glass door echos through the bullpen, making everyone's eyes travel to the source of the noise. This also meant you.

By the time you looked, two familiar eyes were staring coldly into yours. Two wrinkled hands clasped at your shirt collar and yanked you forward violently.

"How dare you ungrateful-" Margaret quips, slapping you across the face before you could even react. "Selfish, and ignorant child!"

You cough harshly, earning the feeling of Margaret's hand again across your face. "M-mother…" you murmured, the agents around you trying to separate the two of you.

"No, you have gone too far now! I paid him to take you! You are his property! Go to him! I have lost too much for you to disobey like the brat of a child you've always been!" Margaret scrambled, trying to get out of the arms of a much stronger agent who held her back away from you.

Someone, who you soon recognized as Garcia and Emily, helped you to your feet. Spencer had very quickly come to your aide, sending Garcia off to fetch Rossi and Hotch.

You grumbled for a few moments, the anger you felt beginning to come to a head. "Really? You paid him? I thought he was just trying to get under my skin with that, Mother." You spat, taking a few steps forward before looking up into (e/c) eyes.

Your mother scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking back at you coldly. "Of course I did. You need someone to finally put you in your place. To teach you the manners I had somehow missed."

You growled at her continuance. Your fist clenched at your side. She was your mother. And this was what she chose to do? Instead of being by your side when you needed a mother most, she admitted to being a part of why you were raped in the first place.

"So you admit to selling a human? To selling your only daughter, just because I wouldn't abide to your stupid fucking rules?" You glared, spitting out the words like venom on your tongue.

Spencer went to stop you, but Emily pulled him back. You needed this.

"Yes I-" Margaret began, but you quickly put a stop to her excuses.

"No. You're going to let me share my opinion for ONCE in my life. You're going to stand there and face the monster that you created. Be the perfect housewife you insisted on creating with me."

Your mother rolled her eyes, but surprisingly didn't speak up again. You were slightly baffled by her sudden respect. But it didn't last long.

"You were never there for me when I needed you. When I was in the hospital, after what Peter did to me, I needed you. After Peter's threats, I needed you. After each low grade on a test, I needed you. Not the harsh yelling and lecture I received from you and father. I needed the reassurance that it wasn't the end of the world. Whenever I had nightmares from my never ending memory bank of trauma, you sent me back to bed with the flick of your hand. I remember every word, every scowl, every upturn of your nose, every single moment you've spared for me my entire life. You're lucky I don't charge you with assault and child abuse. I don't because you're my mother. I thought maybe one day…" you feel the hot, rushing tears fall from your cheeks, making you aware of your vulnerability in front of everyone.

You sniffled and wiped your eyes before you continued. "T-that maybe one day you'd change. And I-I'd have my mom." A tearful smile formed on your face, staring at the woman who had cause so much of your misery. "But still, you choose to remind me of how unimportant I've always been. How I am just a pawn in your game of chess. Easily disposable. Well here's a reality check for you, Margaret." You snapped, pointing a finger against her chest.

"Check. Cause I'm not going to rest until you and Peter are both sent to prison where you both so clearly belong!" You yell into her ear. "So much for motherly love." You whisper harshly afterwards, turning around so that she didn't get the satisfaction of seeing you fall apart.

Hotch entered your vision soon after, gesturing for you to meet him in his office. You sigh shakily, squeezing your eyes shut.

Spencer stops you for a moment, holding your arms. "H-hey… you don't have to go immediately, you know. You can stay for a minute."

You recognize his extended olive branch and take it. He didn't need to even say another word for you to collapse into his arms, sobbing as hard as your heart had been begging to since you'd left the hospital that morning.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader fic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer #spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer x reader fanfic #spencer x y/n #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfic #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds family #CRIMINAL MINDS FANDOM

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contrabandhothead · 2 years

Note

Hi there! I'm not sure if you're still taking ships on here, but could I request an Easy Co. or Pacific ship please?

I'm 5'5, pale and thin, longish reddish brown hair, very freckly and permanently blushing. My eyes are very massive and dark. I come from an Italian-American family. My dream is to one day work in science or become an engineer. My love language is Acts of Service. When someone does something to help me out that I know they don't really enjoy means a lot to me. I've been described as creative, generous and determined, but I'm really proud of my bravery and curiosity. I can become easily annoyed and self-pitying though. I love stargazing and traveling to new places to stargaze. I also love being a part of my astronomy club. I build model airplanes in my free time and (I used to be a huge theatre mom in high school) I love to sing and play guitar and write songs for the band that I'm restarting with my friends. I'm also an ENTP 6w7 if that helps! xoxo

gif credits : basilone

- [ general ]

LISTENNNNN YOU SAID I COULD DO THE PACIFIC SO I TOOK THE CHANCE AND RAN WITH IT

he also didn’t die because… he just didn’t idk what you’re talking about he came home and y’all are so happy together :))))))

man is literally like 3 inches taller than you and acts like he’s 7 ft tall

like i’m talking this man calls you piccolina as if he isn’t 5’8”

LAYS IT ON THICKKKKKK WITH THE ITALIAN PET NAMES FOR NO REASON

you’ll literally just be talking to him and he’ll call you about 4 pet names in 3 sentences

i think his favorites are probably stella and tesorina the most though because he really does consider you the star of his life and the person he treasures the most

always kissing your forehead and freckles

likes that you’re the perfect height for him to barely even lean down to kiss your head

he loves your freckles so much that sometimes he’ll try to count them all before bed and memorize the number, but he always falls asleep before he finishes

he definitely tries to make you blush more, especially because he’s always flirting with you

and he doesn’t hold back either, he’ll flirt with you in front of others just because he loves showing you off

OH MY G O D HE IS SUCH A SHOW OFF BTW IT’S RIDICULOUS

literally has told people before that he has the best spouse and that no one could compare to you e v e r

he literally begged you to meet your family

he’s very formal about asking your family to even be with you

he’s the type that asks your parents for permission to date you or marry you, brings your mother flowers every weekend, invites your family over to Sunday dinners and offers to cook for them, plays with your younger cousins and gives them piggyback rides, hangs out with your father, etc.

like he does it ALL to make a good impression on them

also because he just loves that they’re the reason you’re alive at the same time he is

don’t even get me started on his family though

his mother once told you that she loved you more than him, and he’s such a momma’s boy that he fake cried to her about it just to get a hug and apology

they love you and tbh, they probably over-invite you to things

they could literally just be going to church and they’ll ask if you want to come

he’s SO supportive of your career

he’s always helping you study, or buying you books about stars or science

loves watching you tinker with your creations

literally sits there for hours just admiring you while you build things… you probably won’t even notice him for a couple minutes, and when you do the only thing he mumbles is

“i just want to watch because you look so cute when you’re focused. don’t mind me, stellina, keep going”

asks you to explain a scientific topic you’re learning about (even though he probably doesn’t understand) and hangs on to your every word on the subject

god if you do ANYTHING for him he looks starstruck

even if it’s as simple as ironing his shirt, he’ll go out of his way to show you how much he appreciates it

kisses your nose and mumbles “what would i do without you”

literally he dotes on you so much

you being a housewife? NOPE. IT’S JOHN HE’S YOUR HOUSEWIFE.

he does all kinds of acts of service for you, and you never have to lift a finger around the house

he cleans everything in the house so you don’t have to after a stressful day at work even though he despises cleaning with a passion, he buys your favorite foods at the grocery store, wraps you in his jacket and holds you close if there’s even a slight gust of wind outside, draws baths for you and washes your hair so you can relax, etc.

tbh, john can be a little overbearing at times, so if you’re ever annoyed he will recognize it and back off to allow you a moment to relax by yourself

it may seem like he’s upset and pulling away from you at first, but you know that it’s just that he wants to give you the alone time you desire

his silence also definitely stems from his own insecurities as well, he’s worried that you might not want him anymore because he was suffocating you with his presence

just seek him out after you’ve calmed down and hug him, and instantly all his outrageous thoughts will dwindle before he holds you as close as he can

he tries so hard to stop you when you’re in a self-pitying moment

that is one of the few times he will not back off and leave you alone because he doesn’t want you to feel worse about yourself

he’ll make you take a break from whatever you’re doing, and will make you something to eat while you tell him about your struggles

he reassures you of your feelings and that it’s okay to be upset, but will be there to remind you that you can’t spend forever feeling sorry for yourself, and that you have to move on at some points

never tells you that your feelings or experiences aren’t valid enough to be upset about

i mean like EVER

you could literally just be upset about stubbing your toe and he will validate your emotions

this man takes you to travel the world with him

i’m talking the WORLD

you’ve visited almost every continent, and he never fails to find the perfect stargazing spot in every nation just for you

wraps his arms around you while you both stargaze outside, burying his head into the crook of your neck and glancing at you every once in a while to admire your beauty

always lets you pick where you want to travel to next

when you ask him why, he just replies with “i don’t care where we’re going, it just matters that you’re there with me. you could tell me we’re taking a trip to the north pole, and it wouldn’t matter as long as i got to see you every day”

makes snacks for you to bring to your astronomy club meetings

not only DISPLAYS your model airplanes, but also purchases ones you haven’t built yet just so you have some more to fill up your free time with

really likes building them with you, and follows your exact instructions on what to do just so he doesn’t mess it up

does all the hard parts you don’t want to do/hate doing

even if he hates them too

always BEGS you to perform songs for him

he really loves it when you sing to him, especially after he’s woken up from a nightmare about the war

he definitely has some sort of tattoo that he got for you

not like a portrait of your face or anything, just a tattoo that represents what you mean to him

it’s small, but it’s his favorite, and i have a feeling that it’s probably a star

sometimes he traces it when he thinks of you to remind himself you’re always with him

- [ how you two met ]

he definitely tried to win you over during his war bonds tour

you lived on his street when he was just a kid, and he always chased you around till his mother yelled at him because he thought you were the prettiest person he’d ever seen

you’d grown up together, and were close before the war

but the war had changed both of you as people, and despite sending him letters, sometimes it felt as if you were talking to a stranger

you didn’t know john basilone the war hero, you just knew john was the kid who used to throw dirt at you to get your attention

it felt like speaking to a whole new person, but you were willing to stick around him and get to that level of closeness again

you could still see right through his cocky facade like you always had been able to, and no matter how much he insisted he was fine after showing up on your doorstep, you still knew that he was spiraling

after about 10 minutes of small talk and dancing around his true emotions, you eventually snapped, telling him to just cut it out and open up to you for once instead of pretending to be some legendary man with no fears or trauma

he just sighed, laying his head in your lap like he used to when you were kids before telling you about how he saw manny’s body, and that he still saw the faces of every man he had killed each time he blinked

you continued to run your fingers through his hair, mumbling soft reassurances

“manny loved us, he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself like this…” and “you were protecting yourself. its not your fault.”

he lived with you for a few days, indulging himself in your presence, even though he knew he could never have you

one night, as you were reading alone in your room, you heard john knock softly on the door

opening it, you were greeted with the most sheepish of smiles you had ever seen pass over his face

annoyed with the interruption, you stepped aside regardless to let him in

he didn’t sit down on the bed like he usually did, and you could feel the anxiety rolling off him in waves

“john, what’s going on? i’d really like to get back to my book”

his words were rushed, spilling out in an unpolished manner

“i want you to come with me on my war bond tour. i’ll miss you too much, i don’t want to go without you”

you shook your head, stepping towards him

“i can’t, you know that they won’t let me”

for the first time since he was deployed, you saw him crack a smile

a genuine one, not the faux ones he donned for reporters. it was all crooked and wonky, almost as if his face was remembering how to correctly form the grin, but it was the most open he had been in a while about how he felt

“they have to, i’m a goddamn war hero. it’s only for a bit longer… please, just come with me. i need you there. i want to take you on dates, and i know you’ve always loved to travel. it’ll only feel right if you’re with me”

you shook your head, laughing along with him before wrapping your arms around his neck

“you’re awful at asking people out. i don’t even think they could give you a participation award for that attempt”

he wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you close against his chest

“but did it work?”

nodding your head and grinning, you glanced down as your cheeks heated

“yeah, it worked… but i’m only coming for the free food”

#the pacific ship #the pacific #john basilone #john basilone ship

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emerald-studies · 4 years

Text

Racism in Education

June 27, 2020

Day 6 of 7

[ These are just some thoughts I have in my head about this topic, it isn’t meant to be a purely academic discussion. It’s meant to be a conversation to learn about another perspective. ]

—-

Ok this will be my most challenging post. This is a long read but I’d appreciate you reading it all because I’ve been doing free emotional labor for almost a month and if you want to be an ally, that means learning from other perspectives. So please read. This drained me so much to write, please make it worth it.

You have the time, please read.

As I stated in my intro, I moved from a very conservative State (I don’t even want to say the State because I hate it so much.) to Washington State. I moved after graduating online school a year ago.

Growing up in that State I was almost always the only Black girl in my class. For my whole educational career. I hated when we would discuss the civil rights movement because I could feel my White peers staring at me, like I was the face of my race.

It was junior year that broke me.

I began the year optimistic. I always did, even though I had experienced racism before each year, pushing me to move to 4 different schools in 4 years.

I moved to a school in a rural area with a lot of mormons and maybe 5 Black people in the whole, huge school.

It was in September that my mental health plummeted. I don’t know why. I guess I was overwhelmed. I was in an AP US History class and there was work over the summer that everyone else did, but I didn’t. I had just gotten there, after all. I didn’t have the textbook. That class was such a heavy workload that we were having a quiz every other day, 1 test a week, and I was trying to study for a test that my peers had months to study for, and already took.

I attempted to take my life, but I knew I didn’t really mean it. I’ll be honest about that. I just wanted everything to stop so I could catch my breath.

I went to the ER on a Thursday night. My Mom drove me.

We sat in the ER for a little bit and then I was taken to a little room where a nurse came to talk to me. BTW I have never had a good interaction with a nurse.

This nurse came in and basically shamed me.

“You’re so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You don’t need to do this to yourself.”

Yeah, no shit. I thought about that every day. My grades, getting into college, getting into law school.... that’s the point. I was overwhelmed.

She suggested that I punch a pillow if I “Got upset” because that’s what her daughter does.

Fuck off.

The Doctor came in and he gave me butterfly bandages and he was so much more understanding, shockingly. (I’ve shadowed Surgeons and Doctors and they can be a little abrasive).

I liked that the Doctor fixed me up. I liked having this wrap around my wrist. I felt like I could move on. Like I let something out.

The Doctor asked if I needed to stay at this place that dealt with cases like mine.

I said,

“No.”

I couldn’t have that on my record for what I want to do. So, I went home.

I took the Friday off and my Mom visited the school to let them know what happened. I was already preparing for pity.

I had to come in on Monday to set up a 504 (students with disabilities act) for depression. I don’t think I had depression, but whatever. I dropped out of AP US History.

They made accommodations for me: more time on tests, working in the library, more time on assignments, etc.

I want you to know that I did not touch those accommodations for 5 months.

I knew I didn’t need them. I maintained a 3.8 GPA.

I sat in a room with all 8 of my teachers (we had a block schedule 4 classes per day alternating), seeing all of them look at me with disgusting levels of pity.

They each talked to me in private saying things like,

“If you ever need anything, let me know.”

“I’m here for you.”

“You matter.”

I thought,

“Hm ok, that’s nice.”.

I went on for months without using my accommodations and practically wooping my “normal” classmates in intellectual discussions.

But then the casual racism I experienced was escalating.

First, in the beginning of the year, my AP US History teacher put his hand on my head and said to a student,

“If you really believe that, Faith would be a slave right now.”

(I don’t remember what the hell we were even talking about)

Then I got little questions/comments like,

“Why do you dress White?”

“Cracker is just as offensive as the n-word”

But now we were going into Black History Month. My new history teacher was an old White Man and we were talking about the civil rights movement, while in English we were reading “Black Like Me” with my blonde, Female, millennial teacher.

I nailed everything in the civil rights movement discussions. The teacher loved me. I nailed the conversations about “Black Like Me”.

But....I don’t know. The environment got really toxic. There was more racism, gaslighting, slurs. Every. single. day. It could break anyone.

I would be on the brink of tears in class every day.

Guess who didn’t notice?

All 8 of those concerned teachers.

They don’t give a shit.

My grades were still pretty good, but I started working in the library. I couldn't be around all of those racist peers.

While in the library, my counselor would come in and interrogate me.

“How long have you been in here?”

“Have you tried, really tried to go to class?”

Of course I tried! I felt like I wanted to be dead and so I left. That’s what the 504 Plan was for. Again, I hadn’t touched my accommodations for months so I thought maybe these grown adults would use their tiny brains and think,

“Huh maybe she needs help.”

But no.

I would go to the counselor almost every day and say

“I’m not doing well.”

And she’d ask,

“What does that mean?”

Ok...so I have to tell this Woman that I feel like dying but not at my own hand? Because she can’t use social cues and read my face stained with tears?

I couldn’t say anything.

She said,

“What can we do to keep you going here?”

I said,

“I don’t know”

Because that’s not my job.

Then it happened.

My history teacher was talking about affirmative action.

He said,

“If I worked at a bank for 30 years and went to work at another bank, FAITH would get a job over me because she’s a BLACK WOMAN. Do you get that? She covers TWO minorities!”

He said this while pointing his wrinkled finger in my face.

None of my peers said anything.

I replied with,

“Well, what are my qualifications?”

He ignored me.

He went on a rant teaching his opinions, not facts. So I wrote down what he said on sticky notes.

I called my Mom at break and asked her

“Is that racist? Do I do anything?”

I was so desensitized to racism I couldn’t tell anymore.

My White Mom, my awesome Mom said,

“YES.”

I went to the Vice Principal and reported the teacher and gave her the sticky notes.

The next day we got an email from the principle saying that the teacher said, he never said anything about me.

So I was a liar?

To get evidence, I recorded the whole next class. I was scared every minute that he would find out.

He didn’t. And he said more awful things.

I had concrete proof.

We told the Principal and he ignored me. My Mom emailed the superintendent (very high up person in the school district) and oh now he responds?

They basically said,

“We gave him a warning, he won’t do it again.”

Ok so he just will hide his racism now. Just remember, teachers legally aren’t allowed to teach their opinion. The Supreme Court deemed it unconstitutional to teach opinions.

I was still required to go to this racist Man’s class. I still answered every question he posed to the class and he recognized my intelligence.

So WHY?

WHY me?

The whole year he loved having me as a student and then....that?

Moving on to my English class.

We had to do a cultural experience trip and so my acquaintance and I went to the Black History Museum. Because I’m Nigerian-American. I do identify as Black though because everyone assumes it anyways, but I wanted to learn more about the history in my city.

We were required to make presentations talking about the experience we had. I decided to add a little twist.

I made a whole slide in my slideshow dedicated to every racist thing said to me in that class.

The slide was met with laughter because racism is just so funny.

My teacher said nothing.

So I, the student, the minor in the room, had to say,

“I see you laughing but this is why I’m leaving this school. This is serious.”

Nothing from my teacher.

Cut to maybe a week later and I was done. I was sitting in my English class about to burst. My acquaintance asked me,

“Are you doing ok?”

I replied,

“No. Absolutely not.”

A classmate checked in on me, while all my 8 teachers who actually knew about my attempt on my life didn’t.

We went outside and I decided to leave the school that day. Three weeks before summer break. I couldn’t be in either class anymore. I felt my brain rotting from being exposed to the absolute shit that those students/teachers would spew, every day.

I lost my 3.8 GPA

I lost my credits for the semester.

The racist teacher is still working.

I had to go online.

It happened again.

Another racist history teacher.

Wasn’t removed.

I graduated with a lower GPA.

Didn’t apply to my dream school.

I have the trauma seared into my brain. I’m terrified of taking another history class. Terrified.

Ok, that’s it. If you made it this far, thank you. It took me awhile to write this. I hope this gave you another perspective.

So.... discussion time.

Let me know what you think here

I’d like to hear from you since I delved into my trauma.

I don’t think I’ll ever tell this story again, it makes me sick and tired. But I’ll answer questions/asks.

If you have a lot of White guilt and wanna do something, you could donate some reparations to my venmo lol:

@faithrebecca1397 (last 4 digits are 4809)

or paypal

http://www.paypal.me/faithrebecca1397

Edit: People are asking me if they can reblog this. YES PLEASE REBLOG. It’s important to let people know that all types of racism are alive and well.

#blm #black lives matter #education #academia #black women matter #discussion #racism #history #mental health

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hazzabeeforlou · 4 years

Text

Fine Line Masterpost:

A breakdown, musically and lyrically

In Fine Line, ‘raw honesty’ doesn’t really mean delving into the details of who Harry Styles is sleeping with, but rather it’s a glimpse into the world of a 25-year-old who is both deeply in love and who fucks up a lot; he’s given to sugary supplications, is plagued by jealousy, pouts at consequences, and struggles with understanding an inner self that keeps prodding him towards exploration of his identity.

The album is constructed to be consumed by various factions of the fandom. There’s no getting away from the surface dedication of HS2 as an ode to a blonde supermodel with a delicious French accent whose new boyfriend’s father owns a gallery, a girl who has golden hair and blue eyes. I won’t be arguing that away, because it’s intentional, it’s meant to be the surface layer.

The mantle is not the crust, though. Taken individually, each song can be seen as speaking to the queer experience in varied and complex ways, and I’ve seen some truly beautiful explorations of this angle. Especially with TPWK and FL, the anthemic solidarity with queer experience is astounding and gorgeous. I think it’s no accident that this broad take holds true as we zoom in and look at the complex details; Harry has written songs that speak both to this meaning and also hold incredibly personal and intimate significance between him and a partner (in this post we’ll call them Subject).

I will be focusing on the album as a cohesive narrative in the context of it’s chronological, linear progression. Fine Line details an incredibly personal struggle; it’s a love letter, an at times embarrassing, self-loathing reflection on a love gone wrong, a love struggling, an emerging self, and a hope redeemed.

Please feel free to ask questions if any of the technical stuff is confusing, but please also remember that these are my opinions, coupled with my analysis as a professional musician (meaning, hopefully I’m remembering those torturous years of theory dictation correctly!)

Side A

All four songs share an off-kilter-ness, a restless, unsettled, frantic feeling, as if Harry is balancing, undecided between throwing himself at the feet of the one he loves or pulling away. This is no illusion; the tonic base is missing from each song save WS (but even here the tonic is sabotaged in our ear, as we’ll discuss). We’re on a journey to side B; we start with a hope that sweet memories and lust can salvage love, and we end with Harry going his own way.

Golden: There are only two chords in this song, DM and CM7, the V and IV7 of the implied tonic, G Major. We never get to tonic though. We never touch that home base. The songs “da da da’s” give it a happier, peppier illusion than the text reveals.

Harry is already broken, already reflecting and hopeless as the song begins. His intended listener, Subject - the sun, the golden one - waits for him in the sky, and is all he’s ever known. Subject has always browned his skin just right, but now, Harry reflects, perhaps has been too bright for him. (Is some aspect of Harry buried in the brilliance of Subject’s light?) This golden Subject is scared, though, scared Harry is so open. Harry doesn’t want to be alone, but he also needs to peel back edges of himself previously unexplored. Stepping into and away from light is a major theme for Harry, and this opening song sets that precedent. Subject is scared because “hearts get broken,” but Harry’s heart is already broken, so perhaps this refers not to interpersonal heartbreak, but situational. Harry recognizes he’s “out of his head...” BUT, he counters, “Loving you’s the antidote!” He naively gushes out poetry while Subject remains unconvinced. We establish an impasse.

Watermelon Sugar: The Dm - Cm - Am6 - GM chord progression is an odd one; my best guess is that the song is in D minor, so the progression is:

i, VII, v, IV

That’s not typical in a minor key. Usually the leading tone note (in this case a C) is raised (so C#) making the five chord Major (V) not minor (v) and the seven chord diminished (viio) not Major (VII). also the Major IV ignores the B flat in the key signature of D minor and instead uses B natural. So all this to say that the tonic base STILL doesn’t feel like a tonic home, because the normalcy around the key signature is erased. Everything still feels unsettled, unresolved.

Much has been made of the oral sex interpretation, so, ya. This is a song about remembering the best of times, a prayer to Subject, a plea for summertime and bellies and strawberries, and a feeling Harry is desperate to get back.

Adore You: The three chords in this song, Cm - BbM - AbM, imply an E flat Major key, so vi, V, IV, respectively. The tonic, Eb (I), is (once again) never used, and instead vi, V, IV circle without ever coming to rest.

Subject, “Honey,” creates a rainbow paradise. This is another love letter to Subject, let me adore you, I’ll walk through fire for you, you don’t have to say anything just listen to me, you don’t have to say you love me too, just please, please... you’ve been on my mind. Let me adore you like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do. By this wording, Harry admits that adoring Subject is not the only thing he ever does, yet he wishes Subject to remember, or imagine, this false reality.

Lights Up: We’re in C Major here, with the chords Am - GM - FM, creating the same exact chord progression as Adore You, vi, V, IV. We (yet again!) never reach the tonic of C Major. It’s a constant tease of resolution, but there’s no solid home base. We’re suspended in limbo.

Subject is “sorry, btw.” What does that mean, Harry asks? Sorry we’re here in this place, that this is happing? This song is Harry’s declaration: he’s not staying, he’s not coming back down. It would be sweet if things stayed the same, but no, I’m stepping into the light. “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark”... even all the golden sun of Subject couldn’t heal the void in Harry’s soul? Harry asks subject, do you know who you are? implying that he’s determined to answer this for himself. I’m reminded of the crab in Moana, singing “Shiny.” There’s a certain bravado here, a reckless glittery happiness, a flaunting, an exuberance in discovery.

Side B

Tonics are all over the place. Harry is certainly certain about heartbreak. No ambiguity here.

Cherry: GM - Em - CM, or I, vi, IV. We’re in G Major and we know it. Repetitive “cou-cos’s” pepper the track like hanging fruit (let’s imagine from cherry trees).

The song is a simple one, simple in its jealousy. Harry has let Subject go, and now Subject is at their best... and Harry hates it. He doesn't want his former pet term of endearment used on another, even though he has no claim on Subject’s actions anymore. Harry keeps finding bits of Subject in how he dresses. They’re not talking lately, and Harry perhaps is most upset that this separation isn’t going how he planned... Subject is at their best without him.

The gallery line is inserted as a bridge, a unique line of music rather separate from the rest, an intentional narrative. But what’s most fascinating is the end of the song. The previous repetitive chord progression changes. Now we have

GM - AM7 (an added C#) - Am7 (4/2 inversion) - GM

or I, II7, ii7, I

The “cou-cou” lands during the AM7 (the II7) and it lands EXACTLY on the note of B, extending the 7th chord to a ninth chord, before, on its second syllable, dropping to the A and holding there (a kind of suspension) while the chord progression resolves to the Am7 (ii7), making the A a chord tone. This is deliberate. Unless the whole piece was harmonically built around Camille’s random use of a B to A in a voicemail (also randomly in the perfect key for Harry’s voice) this was purposely recorded for aesthetic effect. I for one really love it, I could listen to breathy french girls mutter about beaches endlessly...

Falling: A straightforward progression. In the key of E Major,

EM - C#m - BM - AM or I, vi, V, IV

With Falling, the only ballade on the album, we see Harry shift from jealousy to self destructive behavior. I don’t believe the ‘wandering hands’ line is about cheating (he and Subject were already apart) but rather, Harry seeking to wound Subject by turning to others. Communication is back open, because Subject says they care, they miss him too, but now Harry’s gone and fucked it all up. What have I become? What if Subject never needs me again? I can’t unpack the baggage they left. I just want Subject AROUND! Harry isn’t even begging for a romantic connection, he’s simply begging for Subject’s presence. He was so sure he could discover himself in LU, and now he keeps asking, what am I now? Who has he become on his own? He’s falling, and there’s no one to catch him.

To Be So Lonely: This song waffles between two keys, just as Harry waffles between defending himself to Subject and finally, finally admitting (in just one small line) that he is, in fact, sorry. The song seems to start out in C Major, with CM and Am chords (I, iv) but then at the chorus the Am chord elides from a iv to a i, revealing the key is really A minor. The chorus goes on to be:

Am - GM - Em - FM

or i, VII (lowered leading tone in minor), v (lowered leading tone in minor), VI

A fluttering mandolin mimics a fluttering heartbeat, and a folk music lilt gives the song a certain feel of heartbreak.

Harry asks for Subject to not blame the drunk caller, likely himself. Harry was away. He missed Subject. He was just a little boy when he fell, and presumably Subject caught him that time. Subject is trying to be friends, they mean well, perhaps have taken pity on him, but Harry cannot stand to be called baby now, not when that name doesn’t mean what it used to, not when it’s a hollow word. Harry’s ‘home’ is suddenly a lonely place, but Subject has his reasons for how he’s acted, presumably good ones, and finally Harry gives his mea culpa, “this is it, so I’m sorry.”

Interestingly, only after admitting that he’s made mistakes too, that he’s not perfect, that he shares the blame, does Harry confront and open himself to the realization contained in the next song, the heart of the album and the crux of what Harry’s been dancing around up until this point.

She: In E minor, both verse and chorus use the same progression:

Em - DM - CM - Am - (Bm, a quick lead-in to) - Em

or i, II, VI, iv, v (no raised leading tone), i

This Bowie-esc sounding song is the first to have characters. In addition to the Subject (perennially addressed as ‘You’) there is The Man and She. I would argue The Man and She are both Harry, a duality. The man drops his kids off at school, the man is thinking of You, like all of us do (everyone thinks of their SO perhaps). The Man goes through mundane daily tasks, but is he faking it? Does he really know what to do? He’s playing pretend, so pretend.

Now Harry introduces She. (When speaking of She, Harry sings in a high falsetto.) She lives in daydreams, she is the first one he sees, and Harry doesn’t know who She is. A Woman just in his head, who sleeps in his (a jump up to the falsetto for just this one word in the verse) bed while he plays pretend. Much has been said about the gender/fluidity discovery in this song, and by better than me. It’s clear what Harry is saying, it’s clear what he’s going through and wrestling with. He’s thinking of Subject, but also haunted by She, in his head, in his mind’s eye, in his daydreams. She is a part of Harry, and Harry wants to know who She is.

Side C

Uncomplicated tonics! All Major! A shift into happiness perhaps?

Sunflower: F Major. BbM - FM - CM, or IV, I, V. The bridge is fancy:

iii, IV, V, vi, I, V vi, V (vi?) V

Some trippie hippie song from the 60s! Two lines of thought are apparent from the get go; Harry says he wants to get to know Subject, but then says “before I got to know you.” It’s as if this is a new beginning, like he and Subject are starting over. Much is made of the ‘seed’ thing, a metaphor for new life and rebirth, “plant new seeds in the melody.” Harry is trying hard not to talk to Subject, to not seem eager, not act a fool. He was just tongue tied, then he’s still tongue tied, implying he’s done this whole dance before. He implores Subject to hold their sweet memories: domestic times, kitchens, kids. In Golden, Subject was the sun. Now Subject is a sunflower, hung up high in the gallery, out of the shade, in the light a sunflower needs to thrive, into the light, step into the light. Little gasps from Harry interject throughout; is he surfacing from water (LU music video?), is he breathing between kisses, is he suddenly gifted new life like Gandalf atop Isengard? The end of the piece devolves into calls of unbridled, nonsensical joy, like birds song, like mating calls amongst brilliant plumage.

Canyon Moon: D Major. DM - GM - AM - DM (I, IV, V, I)

Bridge DM - (Em transit?) - AM - DM (I, (ii), V, I)

Chorus DM - AM - DM - GM (I, V6, I6, IV)

Perhaps the most straightforward tonic bound song of the album. Harry is missing Subject, but it’s a happy nostalgia now, a hopeful one, a “two weeks and I’ll be home.” Home is no longer a lonely place, like in TBSL. The world is happy waiting (there’s no rush? No need to have everything figured out?). “Doors yellow, broken, blue.” You can’t bribe the door on the way to the sky a sky where Harry’s Golden sun awaits him, and now the sky door is broken, busted through, that blue door to a blue sky that never looked so blue.

We get another glimpse of She here; Subject remains You, Harry remains Harry, but there’s also a She who plays old hippies’ love songs and pretends to know the words; perhaps this is another Camille reference for narrative purposes, but I lean more towards this being another reference to She as Harry, exploring odd new music he’s never heard, trying not to be so pretentious about it but failing. (He’s such an Aquarius.) Most charmingly of all, the single whistler becomes two by the end of the song.

Treat People With Kindness: F Major. This is the most interesting piece in terms of text painting.

We start with CM6 - FM, then FM6/4 - BbM, then back to CM6 - FM, then we hold on the Am chord, and then repeat the whole thing. So analyzed in F Major this would be V6, I, I6/4, IV, V6, I, iii.

But. By using the I6 to IV, Harry plays with the idea of a V of IV, where you take the IV chord of the key and pretend it has its own dominant (V) and use the V of IV not as the I chord normally is used, but as a Leading Tone chord to IV.

ALL THAT TO SAY. He’s illustrating the lyrics. During “Maybe we can find a place” the chords are playing with dual resolutions. Where is the actual tonic? Is it F Major or B Flat Major? It’s ambiguous! We don’t know! We haven’t found our place yet!

But then! The bridge. “And if we’re here long enough” and look where we land, on a CM chord, then BbM, then FM, a solid V, IV, I progression. And THEN (bless this boy) on the word belong we get the same A minor chord (the iii) but we get a 7th added to the chord, a G, and Harry holds this G in the melody (plant new seeds in the melody), a note that VERY MUCH DOES NOT BELONG because in no universe does a iii chord in Major have a 7th added! And Harry not only ADDS but draws attention to this note, this note that doesn’t belong!!! Then this iii7 chord resolves to C Major (V), making the G note a chord tone, making it BELONG, making it fit perfectly.

GOD. Weep with me.

This is Over the Rainbow. This is Hair, this is Age of Aquarius. Somewhere there’s a place we can belong and feel good and people will celebrate and rejoice in us, someday a new age will dawn.

Harry is plunging into the deep end, dreaming, caught up in his good feelings and his euphoria in being “given second chances.” He’s tentative about admitting reckless hope to Subject; instead he says, “Maybe we can find a place to feel good?” Harry says he doesn’t need all the answers. He said in LU “do you know who you are” then in Falling “What am I now?” then in She “I don't know who she is” and now he’s at peace. He feels good in his skin, and he will keep on dancing.

Most personally, I think the sudden somber turn of the line “If our friends all pass away” is in reference to grief. He’s speaking to Subject, but also to himself. It will be okay, okay, okay. Harry can’t control his life, he doesn’t have everything figured out, but he’s come to accept that.

Side D

Fine Line: D Major. We come full circle, returning to the use of only three chords like at the start of the album. This time, though, Harry resolves to tonic in a repetitive pattern used for both the verses and chorus:

Bm, GM7, DM6/4, or vi, IV7, I

FL is the summation of the album, the thesis statement, the conclusion of the journey. Harry has endured tests of patience, and accepted that there are things he’ll never know. He’s trying to shake off trepidation (of plunging in the deep end? Of hoping?). He says “My hand’s at risk, I fold.” The poker analogy is an interesting one; Subject (presumably) has gotten past Harry’s poker face, has sussed out his fronts and acts and strategies, and Harry is left bare and exposed, vulnerable before them. He’s been brought to this point, but willingly he folds. He laments that “spreading you open is the only way of knowing you.” We should open up before it’s all too much. Harry is done fighting. He’s also done sleeping in the dirt. For the first time he’s not sugar-coating his words, avoiding their problems via sex and pretense and flowery language. He’s matured enough to admit, “Man, I hate you sometimes.”

Again we have the reappearance of She. Harry says to Subject, “We’ll get the drinks in, so I’ll get to thinking of her.” This She is something between them, within them now, another facet of his and Subject’s relationship. Harry is going to spend time thinking of Her. She, I believe, is a part of him.

A fine line is a balancing act, a tightrope, a suspension between extremes. But Harry calls out into the echo of the music, “We’ll be alright.” A declaration, a hope, a promise. Brass, strings, and a building crescendo, a cacophony of movie-credit-worthy emotion, sweeps us towards closure. Ethereal voices fade out, moving from dominant to tonic, but then a solitary piano plinks on a V chord, twice, hanging in the air, a question, an invitation, a hope.

#fine line #masterpost #musical analysis #HS2 #Harry Styles #lyric interpretation #theories #opinions #Golden #Watermelon Sugar #Adore You #Light Up #Cherry #Falling #To Be So Lonely #She #Sunflower #Canyon Moon #Treat People With Kindness

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villlainarc · 4 years

Text

Kiss Me Goodbye (I’m Defying Gravity)

Summary: Roman falls, so Janus does everything in their power to catch him.

Pairings: roceit, (A Tiny Bit Of) brotherly creativitwins

Warnings: attempted murder, blood mention, stab wound, death mention, self-sacrificial behavior (? i think that covers that part)

Word Count: 1480

Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @max-is-tired @sssounds-gay-im-in @main-chive @emo-disaster @heavenly-roman

Notes: no one talk to me or my nine current wips ever again <3 actually no one Mention my nine current wips ever again either thanks <3

anyway!! this was inspired by this piece and the tags on it by @aidensm8 (thank u again for letting me write this btw!!)

ao3

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Janus hadn’t reached the top of the tower fast enough. They hadn’t made it to the edge of the tower fast enough, either. They hadn’t been able to stop the traitor from throwing their knife at Remus, hadn’t been able to stop the crown prince from standing there, frozen in shock, and they hadn’t— hadn’t—

And they hadn’t been able to stop Roman from diving in front of that knife, hadn’t been able to stop it from burying itself in his chest, hadn’t been able to stop the blood from seeping from the wound and staining his pure white clothes with red.

The world had moved in a slow-motion fog after that, they remembered—Janus thought they must’ve screamed, and Remus probably had too. Roman, though, he couldn’t do more than stand there, swaying slightly as he stared down at the knife and the blood and the way the world spun around him.

Moments later, Roman had stumbled backward and Janus had realized that they’d be frozen in place with horror, doing nothing more than watch the events in front of them unfold. They blinked, and the world continued to move at a painfully slow pace as they understood what was happening. They might have screamed again as Roman’s legs caught on the parapets of the tower and his back curved into an arch as he fell over the side of it, eyes going wide and arms reaching up to grasp at something, anything.

Janus began to run then, though each step they took felt next to impossible with the way time was moving. They were still too far away to do a thing though as Roman caught Remus’s sash in his hands, too far away to shake Remus from his shock at the action and help him pull his brother back to safety. They were only close enough to hear the whisper of, “Catch me, Janus,” as Roman’s last hope of saving himself tore away from Remus’s body and he dropped towards the ground.

They didn’t even realize they’d made the decision to do something until they were standing atop the parapet and Remus had grasped their hand tightly, gazing at them in confusion, but really, it wasn’t as though Janus had ever had any other choice. They needed to save Roman, one way or another, and if the only way to do so was to leap into the unknown just as he had, then that’s what they would do. That decision had been made whether or not they’d been conscious of it.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked quietly, and though Janus thought the answer was fairly obvious, they replied anyway.

“I’m going to save Roman.”

“Janus, you can’t fly. Your wings—”

“—are still wings, mismatched or not. I have a better chance of saving him than he does of saving himself, at least. I have to try.”

“You’ll both die! I don’t want— I don’t want to lose—” Remus cut himself off, too choked up to continue.

Taking pity on him, Janus interrupted before he could get any farther. “Me neither.”

“Then please don’t do this. Janus—”

They gave a deep sigh. “I am here to protect Roman. You know that, I’m sure. If there’s a chance that I can now, I don’t believe I will be physically able to not take it.”

Remus gave them one last desperate look. “Please.”

Janus turned away, clenching their jaw. Realizing they couldn’t promise Remus anything at all, they said simply, “Be a dear and take care of the person who tried to murder you, if you’d be so kind.”

With nothing more left to say, they pulled their hand from Remus’s and dove off the edge of the tower, the wing of an angel and the wing of a serpent both pulled tight to their back.

Janus fell through the clouds, arms held out in front of them, already reaching for Roman though he wasn’t anywhere in sight. They had to reach him soon, or it would be too late for them to even attempt to slow his fall.

It could have been seconds or minutes or eons before Janus finally passed through a cloud far to close to the ground and saw Roman falling below them, eyes closed and lips slightly parted, Remus’s sash still clutched in his hand. He looked almost peaceful, the wind causing his clothes to flutter around him ever so gently and his hair framing his face as though it were a halo and he was the angel out of the two of them.

Janus had to shake themself to stop from being too distracted to concentrate on actually catching Roman, blinking out of their brief reverie as they reached down and scooped him into their arms, pulling him close while still being careful not to push the knife in any further.

“Roman,” they said, voice almost entirely lost to the wind, “wake up, please wake up.”

Roman didn’t wake up. He just continued to lie there, as beautiful on death’s doorstep as he’d always been.

Janus tried not to think for too long about that as they spread their wings out as wide as they would go, trying desperately to slow their fall. It worked, but they still weren’t falling slow enough that they’d be able to survive an impact with the ground.

“Roman,” they whispered again. “Roman, I need—”

They paused. What was the point of waking him up now anyway? It wasn’t as though he’d be able to do anything to save them. He couldn’t fly, Janus was the one who was supposed to be able to do that. Waking Roman just before he died would be unnecessarily cruel—it was better to let him stay comatose at this point. Their reasons for wanting to see him awake one last time were entirely selfish, after all. They didn’t need to wake him.

And this way, Janus found themself thinking, they’d be able to cushion Roman’s fall without him arguing against it.

Before they prepared to position themself to do just that though, Janus couldn’t help but gaze longingly at Roman’s face, letting their eyes drift briefly to his lips for a few precious moments, completely in awe of his beauty. Their heart ached with the desire to kiss him—a desire that had plagued them for so very long—but it was too late to ask for that now. They’d settle, then, for this final act of sacrifice and a featherlight kiss on his forehead, left with the hope that Roman would never learn what feelings had truly driven them.

Still holding Roman as gently as they were able to, Janus allowed themself to rotate in midair, careful to shift Roman ever so slightly against their chest so that when they landed, the knife wouldn’t be driven even deeper into his heart.

Roman stirred then, moving about in Janus’s arms. They held him tighter, assuming he was still passed out and making sure he wouldn’t fall away from them.

“Janus?”

Shit.

It seemed he wasn’t still passed out.

“What are you doing, Janus?” he asked, blinking slowly and turning his head slightly to see their face.

“I’m saving you.”

“But I’m fi— I’m fine, what’s happening? Why are we falling? Janus, why are you holding me like this? You didn’t fall before me, I remember that much, so why are you—”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you— are you trying to save me by breaking my fall?”

Janus was silent.

“Janus.”

“…That’s certainly a possibility that exists, isn’t it?”

“Don’t do that.”

“I don’t have much of a choice if I want to save you, darling.”

“You have wings.”

“And they don’t work, you know that.”

“They could.”

“Roman, dear, please don’t make this more difficult than it is.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t want to lose you either, but this the best chance we have at even one of us surviving.”

“Janus.”

“I can’t do anything more than this, Roman. If I could, I would. Believe me.”

“You can fly.”

“No—”

“I believe in you. Please, Janus, you have to try.”

At this point, the ground was approaching at an alarming rate. Janus spared one final glance behind them before looking back towards Roman. The prince stared back with eyes full of such love and hope that Janus knew they couldn’t—wouldn’t—fail him.

“Okay,” they murmured finally, giving in as they turned away from Roman’s utterly enchanting eyes and holding him as close to their chest as they could manage. “If this doesn’t work—”

“It will.”

“—I should tell you now that I love you, Prince Roman, more than words can say.”

“I love you too,” he responded, and Janus knew somehow that he’d meant it in the same way they had. “Now, love… fly.”

And for the very first time in their life, they did.

_________________________

masterpost

#sanders sides #roceit #creativitwins #janus sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #fantasy au #royalty au #guardian angel au #nb!janus #fic.txt #also #@ ailish the roceit lesbian superhero au will be done for your birthday okay I Promise i am getting there Slowly alsdkfjsk

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