When I was younger, I was in love with the idea of moving out to a lone island and never speaking to anyone again. I wasn’t good at talking, physically, nor did conversations come easy to me, so I kept quiet and I was totally fine with that. But while the people closest to me rolled their eyes at my wishes (again, lone island), nobody told me how talking to people was fun. Nobody told me how nice of a feeling it was to feel a new friendship blossom, to have inside jokes with people, to hand out compliments and get them back, to ask questions to people who are excited about having the answers, to remember something that someone mentioned last time and make them feel heard, to flatter people, to share slightly embarrassing facts and be able to laugh about them, to have people to say hi and bye to. It took me years and years and years to gather the courage to speak, but it was so worth it. It’s so much fun.

'How was your day?'

unoriginal. vague. generalised.

Alternative:

Evil, ominous, creative; gets people involved and enthused, and sounds assertive without coming across as aggressive. Ticks all the communication boxes, I shall sit here and watch as society changes to use this phrase daily.

Is there a word for missing being in a shitty religion because it made you feel like you had a purpose? I dunno, it's just. I know it's a cult now, I never want to go back, but fuck if I don't miss actually Knowing who I am and what I'm supposed to do and feeling like I belong somewhere. Is that a thing that usually happens? Do you have any resources for dealing with it? I hope this isn't an inappropriate question.

This is normal! I haven't been a part of the church for probably more than a decade and sometimes I still wonder if I'd be happier being part of something where if you say the right things and make the right decisions you will be accepted, praised and loved.

It's both the positive and partially the negative of leaving - now you can decide who you want to be, what you want to do, who your friends are.

I think everyone who leaves a community, whether that community was religious or otherwise, whether it was healthy or not, experience this feeling of 'well, what do I do now?'

But the good news is that there will always be another group for you, whether you find them right away or not. Humans are social animals, and there are people who want you in their lives as much as you want to be in theirs. Finding them is the difficult part but it's so rewarding when you do.

My advice is find out what you like or what you want to learn and see if there is a community for it nearby!

This can be paid lessons like dancing, yoga, hiking groups, learning music or other languages, or it can be hobbies like cosplay, table top roleplaying, crafting, theater, etc. Learning a sport or doing local activism can also be a good way to get to know others (although be careful with activism, while it's a very good cause, it should not be a hobby and it can have its own complications)

If there's nothing in your immediate local area, try online communities! Online book clubs, writing groups, fandoms and roleplaying, music appreciation are good examples to start, lots of people there and many of them looking for newcomers to share their passions with.

Check out your local library or fandom stores (like comic book or cosplay shops) for smaller events - and Reddit has a lot of communities for basically anything you can come up with.

Feeling like you don't have a place is a very common feeling, even amongst those who aren't apostates. Everyone feels self conscious about not having enough friends - or not having ANY friends. We're told we need to belong somewhere to matter.

But in truth you have all the time in the world to find your people. You might find a group of friends and then it doesn't work out - friends leave or there are falling outs and it can feel like you're not cut out to have relationships. It's normal to not immediately find your soulmates, your BFFs, your found family on the first try. Keep trying! They are out there.

Edit: I recommend reading this article! Ask Polly: How Am I Supposed To Make Friends In My Late 20s?

WAIT ITS NO LONGER SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO SAY EPIC POGGERS IRL????

“Straws give you wrinkles” “sunlight gives you age spots” “smiling with your eyes gives you laugh lines” okay but what if I did that. What if I drank Vanilla Coke from a bendy straw and danced in the sunlight and laughed with reckless abandon. What then. We all age we all get wrinkles we all grow old and dammit I will do it with the sun on my face and the joy of life at my back

Apparently much-needed reminder that reposting artists' art (by saving the images or screenshotting them and reuploading them yourself) on other platforms without the artists' expressed permission and without credit is theft and an insult to their passion and craft. You are profiting (in views, in attention, in feedback) from someone else's work and ideas, who do not get that feedback for sharing their creation.

If you are an art reposter, you are a thief and I have no respect for you.

conversation tips + how to be funny

talk about the other person. i know, this is said basically everywhere so im not gonna go too deep into it. everybody likes talking about themselves, where they've been, experiences they've had, etc. so just keep asking questions about themselves!

another thing id like to mention is don't just let them talk the whole time, thats not how a conversation works. instead add in your own opinions, and experiences! make them laugh!

literally just find out things about the other person- linking back to the first point- be genuinely curious about the other person. be curious about them! how they think, how they are, find out stuff about them that you can use later- ex: if they mention they like star neckless, maybe one day you can buy a star neckless for them to show that you care!

absurd analogies.

share funny & embarrassing stories from your past! this makes you look more confident and people feel more comfortable around you bc you're able to laugh about a cringe moment in your past. but its best to do this when the laugh is at your expense, and not at others.

make people feel good about themselves. make them feel special.

watch how other people do it. take inspo from others! you can even look at celebrities interviews and see how they've made people laugh and have an interesting conversation. some rly good interviews that i'd recommend are: ryan gosling / the tv show percy jackson / Zendaya & Tom Holland /

finish other people's sentences with something funny and ridiculous. when someone's trying to remember what they were about to say, you can fill in with a ridiculously funny idea to end their sentence! dont overuse this tho, otherwise it can get pretty annoying.

EXPRESSIONNNN!!!! laugh at their jokes, nod along, be sympathetic. just express and overreact in a way that makes them feel heard and special!!

playful teasing.

Femme Fatale Guide: 15 Essential Business Skills Everyone Should Master

Articulate, confident communication

Crafting effective, compelling pitches

Operating and communicating through a solution-oriented framework

Research of all types (Google, market research, studies, polls, interpersonal conversations, etc.)

Learning how to streamline, edit, and organize information in a clear and logical way

Accumulating high-level working knowledge/proficiency in all tools and programs directly related to your type of work/industry

Budgeting and financial optimization (investment, tax benefits, etc.)

Reading and interpreting legal contracts/documents

Setting rates, boundaries, and learning when/how to delegate

Good posture, direct eye contact, and a firm handshake

Building streamlined systems for onboarding, different repeat project scopes/workflows, and KPI measuring

The art of following up, listening to (potential) clients' needs, asking thoughtful questions, and benefit-oriented salesmanship

Consistently reading, learning, and studying current events/cultural platforms/industry and field-related knowledge

How to spot customer/client/business partner red flags

Self-management, task/project prioritization, and optimization of your personal energy clock + levels

Controversial Opinion but one thing that I learned in the last few months of 2023 was to not accommodate my social anxiety at any cost. If you're someone like me, whose social anxiety is caused by fear of messing up and just not being used to socializing, then this is for you. Do not indulge or adapt to your anxiety, instead just do it. I know it seems ridiculous, but really you have to just expose yourself to what you're anxious and scared of, which in this case is socializing or basically doing anything publicly.

Exposure=Knowledge=practice=confidence=less anxiety because once you're exposed to your fear, it'll get easier. Sure, it may takes weeks, months and maybe even years, but you will eventually gain confidence and get better at it. For instance, let's say you suck at doing pull ups. But you practice it for 30 days and eventually you will see improvements. It's the same thing with social behavior, you won't get better at it if you don't participate in socializing. You have to show up, even if it's just for 5 minutes, even if it's just walking to the grocery shop. You need little steps to achieve confidence and fuck social anxiety up. If your anxiety is telling you not to do it because you'll look dumb or ugly or whatever, it's lying to you. You need to do it anyways. Literally cannot explain this enough, do it anyways, even if you're bad at it, even if you don't know how to do it. Do it anyways.

How To Network 🤝📱💬

Have a Plan: Because everyone is important, it's really important to know what you're good at. Before you go to any networking event, figure out what you're good at – like things you can do well, what you know, and the people you know. Plan what you want to talk about, especially how you can help others, either now or later on.

Start with Who You Know: Talk to people you already know, like friends and colleagues. Ask if they can introduce you to others.

Go to Events: Attend conferences, seminars, workshops, industry meetups, and social gatherings related to your field of interest.

Use Social Media: Make profiles on websites like LinkedIn or Instagram to meet people in your niche online.

Elevator Pitch: Create a concise and engaging intro that highlights who you are, what you do, and what you're seeking. This way you can make a strong first impression.

Ask Good Questions: When you talk to someone, ask questions that show you're interested in what they're saying.

Provide Value: Networking is a two-way street. Offer your expertise, assistance, or connections to others whenever possible. When you start paying attention to what people can do, you might see that one person could help another person. Try to introduce people who you think have something valuable to share. When you make these good connections, you're helping the networking event go well. This will help you establish a good reputation and create strong relationships.

Say Thank You: After meeting, send a message to say you enjoyed the talk.

Follow up & Follow Through: If you said you would talk to someone later, make sure you actually do it and let them know you're still happy to help. If you promised to introduce one person to another, take a moment to make that introduction.These small things really matter to people, and just one introduction could make someone's life better.

Meet Different People: Don't just talk to the same kind of people. Meet people from different jobs and places.

Never dismiss anyone as unimportant: Don't think someone is not important just because of their job title. They could know important things or have helpful friends you wouldn't know about if you didn't give them a chance.

Join Groups: Be part of clubs or groups related to your work. You can meet more people there.

Be Yourself: Just be you. Don't pretend to be someone else.

Learn New Things: Keep learning about your interests. It helps you have better conversations.

One thing that could make interactions easier for you is actively trying to change your perspective on the people you’re meeting. It’s okay if it’s still sort of your first instinct to think, ‘everyone in my new office will be older and more experienced’, but an alternative way to approach it is by highlighting your curiosity: ‘I wonder if anyone in the new office has seen my favorite show / I hope they have tips for lunchrooms nearby / I wonder what their music taste is’. Think about the things you want people to know about you that highlight your individuality, and give them the chance to show you theirs.

i have been reading through the diary I kept from ages 14-17 and realising how helpful it can be to keep a record of how you're feeling at different moments.

not only is it helpful to write down and process how your feeling and give yourself time to truly think about it, it's nice to have something to look back on. to not just remember how you felt about a certain situation but to actually have yourself from that time tell you.

and also, from an adhd perspective, it's really lovely to have reminders of things I'd almost entirely forgotten. it's easy to think that your life right now isn't interesting, but in 5 years time? to know what songs you were listening to or book you were reading or even that Thing that you were so worried about but now you can't even remember the details. it's nice to have a physical reminder that time passes and things really can get better.

Comments

@ blazingfire . 3w ago

I will get you

👍 4k 👎

...Okay, I feel like this was overdue. xD 

Fantasy Worldbuilding Questions (Society)

Society Worldbuilding Questions:

What is each society’s crowning achievement or proudest "claim to fame"?

What are each society’s greatest ills or challenges? (Do these differ depending on who you ask?)

Who garners the most respect in this society, and why?

Who is shown the least respect in this society, and why (what does it value)?

Where are hierarchies and power differences starkest between people in this world, and why?

Where are social norms and influences (such as laws) most stringently upheld in this world, and why (e.g., what roles do politics, ideology, religion, or competition for resources play)?

When did this society’s power structures emerge or change significantly, and why?

When did major societal beliefs or practices become entrenched? Are there any that have recently fallen away or started to disappear?

Why is living within this society challenging for your main characters?

Why does each character enjoy or appreciate this society, if anything?

❯ ❯ ❯ Read other writing masterposts in this series: Worldbuilding Questions for Deeper Settings