when you keep yourself small all the time (swallowing the words you want to say, seeing everybody else as though they’re automatically above you, downplaying your feelings and achievements), the entire world will constantly be looming over you. that’s not the way to live your life. you’re supposed to be experiencing it, not be subjected to it. (this is your sign to take up more space)

repeat after me:

on the other side of fear, there is relief. on the other side of fear, there is success. on the other side of fear, there is love. on the other side of fear, there is joy. on the other side of fear, there is contentment. on the other side of fear, there is result. i decide that my fear is not an ocean; it is a line.

i’ve only seen your recent posts but i’m sorry for what you’re going through. take all the time you need to grieve, the fact you’re grieving at all is honoring your loved one, and eventually you’ll be able to do so in another way and weave bits and pieces of them into your everyday life, or realize how much of them is still with you in your mannerisms or ways of life. you were there for them and had done all you could and now you deserve to focus on yourself as i’m sure that’s what they would have wanted. i hope every day you feel better and life will be kinder <3

thank you so much <333

i’m so sorry for your loss. i’m not sure how to navigate my own grief, but one thing that has helped me a lot is the little ways in which i am reminded of my loved ones and the love we shared while they were here. idk if you’re spiritual at all, but i also have small things (mostly in nature) that i treat as their presence—the wind, a rainbow, a rabbit, a bird. these things in particular are because of their timing in my life, so you should look for your own little messengers of love if you can, have a conversation with the wind. this poem reminds me of the feeling i get when this happens to me:

When she told me over the telephone you died I lay down and cried, "Don't you stop loving me." /

In the West Side Market, I heard your voice from the ceiling say out loud to me, I love you. /

In the park, to a chestnut tree, /

to the light through hundreds of leaves, I said, I love you. /

It was you. /

And it was my life, run, to what, /

--you closer than touch.

(when she told me, jean valentine)

This actually made me cry!! I hate the idea of her just being gone forever, but for some reason I never really understood what people meant when they talked about sensing someone’s presence after their gone. Even if just to soften this feeling a little bit, I’ll try to adopt this perspective. Thank you so much 🤍

I lost someone to cancer recently as well. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know words don't mean much at a time like this, but please be kind to yourself during this time. Grief is the price we pay for loving a person, and there's no one way of processing it .

I hope you have loved ones to rely on for support while you go through this painful process. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Right back at you. I’m so sorry for your loss. We’ll get through this 🤍

hi. i saw your post. i'm sorry for your loss. i honestly don't have any answer to your question because like you, i also don't know how to handle grief, especially a grief like that. but as what they all say, let yourself grieve. if you want to cry, don't hold it in. and if you want to talk about that person to others and reminisce, don't hold back, too.

if i find some helpful answer somewhere, i'll come back here to help even a little.

all i can offer for now is a virtual hug. condolences, friend. 🫂

Thank you so much for this, I appreciate it so much :,)

oh my goodness. i'm so so sorry. i also lost someone to cancer.. almost two years ago now, and i remember how broken and filled with ache i was. what i would say is let yourself grieve, however it is that your body needs to. i cried so many times that day and that week but everyone reacts differently. don't be hard on yourself if your version of grief doesn't match up to what you think its supposed to be.

i read a lot of poetry about grief and spoke to a lot of my friends about it: don't deal with it alone. its a sad comfort but one nonetheless that it feels like this is the worst thing that could ever happen but you're not alone in feeling it. i truly am so sorry for your loss. i knew about my friend's cancer for about a year beforehand and it didn't make it any easier. i hope you can find some comfort in the days and weeks after this, and don't berate yourself if you do. you're allowed to keep living, keep smiling - its not an injustice to them. but i'd say the most important bit of advice is just treat yourself kindly. i wish you all the best. 🧡

Thank you so so much and I’m so sorry for your loss. There was a 40-day window between getting the diagnosis and losing her, so I feel like I haven’t been able to catch my breath since that first moment! It’s insanely difficult and painful. But thank you for your understanding and kind words, I’ll keep this in mind and cradle it for as long as I need to (which is probably forever) and I wish you all the best too. 🤍

Let your bad thoughts be bad thoughts and your bad feelings be bad feelings. Let "I feel so worthless right now" turn into "I want to do something that'll make me feel better" instead of "the fact that I feel worthless must mean that I am". There is so much power in actively refusing to tie negativity to the way you see yourself, without ignoring it altogether.

When I was younger, I was in love with the idea of moving out to a lone island and never speaking to anyone again. I wasn’t good at talking, physically, nor did conversations come easy to me, so I kept quiet and I was totally fine with that. But while the people closest to me rolled their eyes at my wishes (again, lone island), nobody told me how talking to people was fun. Nobody told me how nice of a feeling it was to feel a new friendship blossom, to have inside jokes with people, to hand out compliments and get them back, to ask questions to people who are excited about having the answers, to remember something that someone mentioned last time and make them feel heard, to flatter people, to share slightly embarrassing facts and be able to laugh about them, to have people to say hi and bye to. It took me years and years and years to gather the courage to speak, but it was so worth it. It’s so much fun.

I hope life is treating you kindly 💕 just wanted to hop by again and tell you how wonderful your posts and your blog are!

I recognize your url always, thank you for still being here and being so supportive and kind!! 🤍

hi, I just want to say that your posts are always lovely to see on my dash and happy birthday for the 24th! I hope that you have a nice day and treat yourself 🌼🌻💛🌻🌼

thank you so much 🥹🤍

2024 is about letting people care about and for you. it’s about answering ‘how are you’ with honesty, asking for space when needed, accepting help and being open to advice, listening to concerns and having difficult conversations. it’s about trying your very best to let go of the feeling that you’re completely alone, and finding ways to prove to yourself that you aren’t.

2024 is about letting people care about and for you. it’s about answering ‘how are you’ with honesty, asking for space when needed, accepting help and being open to advice, listening to concerns and having difficult conversations. it’s about trying your very best to let go of the feeling that you’re completely alone, and finding ways to prove to yourself that you aren’t.

you will grow out of it, the fear. even if it has always been there and you feel like you 'missed the mark' and are too old to grow out of things. there’s no mark to miss, there’s no timeline to follow, there’s just you and your victories— whenever they come.

to all sweet people who encouraged me to finally go to the gym: I went! Three months later than I said would, but better late than never right? (I was so scared to go and know nothing!) i’m going to a ladies-only gym and everybody was so helpful, non-judgemental and clean(!), but you guys gave me that final push that was very much needed so thank you <3

I hope you find the type of love in life that makes you feel at ease. I hope birdsong will sound like music to you again. I hope your home is warm during the winter and cool in the summer. I hope people smile at you enough. I hope you wake up curious for what's to come. I hope you listen to your body's aches as signals instead of mere hindrances. I hope that when you reach out, there's a hand to grasp onto. I hope that when you laugh, bursts of happiness accompany the sound. I hope you live a life where today is just as exciting as tomorrow. I hope you don't feel guilt over moving on from the things that were your fault. I hope you rest well. I hope you eat enough. I hope you hold your hopes tightly. I hope you allow them to transform into dreams. I hope your dreams come true.

after it has been new, scary and uncomfortable, it’s going to be okay. isn’t that what we’re doing it for?