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#so like. i am a lot of things but right now? i feel like aro is the top thing. the other attraction stuff is less important lol

battlekidx2 · 2 months

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I'm making this post purely to shout out some incredibly talented fanfic writers from the Hazbin Hotel fandom and my favorite works of theirs.

Did anyone ask me for this? No. Will I post it anyway? Absolutely. The writers in this fandom are too good.

The first fanfic writer I want to shout out is @prince-liest (ao3 link)

I absolutely love their get cared for idiot (Alastor) series (not the official name but they called it that in one of their asks jokingly so it's now the default in my head).

Knock, Knock! It's Your Worst Fucking Nightmare! (this fic gets it!!!! This is what I meant when I said Alastor is growing a heart and part of him is raging against it. He still has ulterior motives and a massive amount of pride and part of him feels like that growing fondness is getting in the way, but he can't stop it. I need to stop before this becomes a long ramble. I've written a couple thousand words on this idea, but this fic is just a better use of your time than any meta I could ever write and way more entertaining :D )

Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy

The Last Bus Stop in Hell, Now Boarding (Please look at the tags for content warning. Angel and Alastor body swap story.)

They're amazing at balancing on that razor's edge with Alastor where there's a heart in there (really deep) and he's unintentionally growing attached to the hazbin crew, but he doesn't lose his edge. He's still manipulative and an asshole and can easily be the scariest guy in any room. He's in hell for a reason. A+ characterization at all times.

They're so good at writing the complicated dynamics he has with the residents, especially Charlie, and I enjoy how they expand on Alastor's potential dynamic with Angel Dust.

Anything they write from Lucifer's POV is gold too! My favorites are:

Take Two and Leave a Voicemail!

The Care and Keeping of Homo Angelus

I am also 100% here for their Aro!Alastor agenda and I'm enjoying their fic I Love Her, I Love Her Not so far!

The second person I want to shout out is @grayintogreen (ao3 link)

Their series Red Roses and Dead Things consistently gut punches me.

Just like Princeliest, they are also fantastic at balancing on that razor's edge with Alastor. A+ characterization for everyone and I love how they write HuskerDust. It's so soft, especially in the aftermath fic for Learn that Even Death May Die called If My Love Is Tomorrow, I've Forgotten Yesterday (that fic hurt in the best way).

The way they explore the aftermath of Learn that Even Death May Die is incredibly impactful. They capture the unique grief that comes from the reality that there are some things you won't get closure for so well that it's painful.

I can't say enough good things about their series. Genuinely go read it.

I found @lediz-watches (ao3 link) before the first season of Hazbin Hotel dropped (I've been a fan of the hellaverse for a few years now and have been enthralled with the Hazbin Hotel pilot since I first watched it in 2020) and I really enjoy their fics.

My favorite is Suffering Kindness. I love the Charlie and Alastor dynamic they explore in this story. I think I'm just a sucker for the Charlie and Alastor dynamic in general, but this fic hits all the right notes for me. (written pre-season 1 but man is it good. 100% recommend)

LeDiz also has a lot of one-shots/collections of one-shots that are very fun.

The Cure for Inexorable Boredom

Dollface (one-shots about Alastor theories. My favorite is the 3rd one. So fascinating!)

Choice Words (one of the few explorations of Alastor and Vaggie's dynamic that I've found in the fandom)

Don't Say It

I have to shout out @ckret2 (ao3 link) and their phenomenal fic You’ve Got a Face for Radio. This is such an amazing aroace!Alastor fic. (Embarrassingly it was this fic that made me realize I was most likely aroace myself. I’d had fleeting moments of suspecting it but it wasn’t until I saw my experiences laid out in a character explicitly written to be aroace that I put the puzzle pieces together. -_- some of these passages were too relatable.) I cannot express how much I love this fic.

I also like their fics Dumpster Baby and Bitter Grapes.

I have one last writer I want to mention because this is getting really long (whoops). The last one is tiredoflofteranditsshit and their Assume He Has a Heart series (because my favorite character and how I interpret them was not obvious enough already with the fics/authors I've recommended. I had to make it more obvious).

These fics are massive (17k and 26k words) and so much fun. Definitely worth the read. Yet another series that follows up season 1 and explores Alastor’s growing connections and how he lies to himself and pushes against it. Love this series and there’s a lot to sink your teeth into :D

#hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel fics #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #angel dust #husk #huskerdust #charlie morningstar #I love all of these fics #these writers are all so talented

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yandere-sins · 10 months

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The Orcas’ Tale - Epilogue

Aye, that's the end of Nerrocan's story! I am happy and sad at the same time, I hope this last chapter from his pov will give you guys some of the answers you hoped for, and maybe create more questions that will be solved in the two sidestories with Lyr and Krill! Thank you all for participating in reaching this True End and I hope you guys had fun guessing (even though you always guessed right after the first chapter!) Thank you for all the support and encouragement sent my way throughout the story, and I hope you guys enjoy the last chapter ♥

Fandom: Original Content Pairings: Yandere!Orca Mermen x GN!Reader Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Nerrocan being a bit horny in his thoughts but nothing actually happens, still lots of sex mentions), Violence (Threats, Description of killing others), Monsters, Blood mention, Gun mention, Dub-con touches/kisses, Animalistic behavior, Mention of claws/sharp teeth, Hinting at death, Long post

Mate.

That's the word the humans of this place told me when I asked them about this strange, burning feeling in my chest whenever I looked at you. Bubbles rose from my mouth as I kept saying it over and over, letting the sound of the word roll from my tongue, sweet and exhilarating as it mixed with the images of you I created in my head. Images of you smiling, laughing, sleeping on top of my chest. Your hands wandering, lips kissing, your body beneath mine. Even the dread of being captured, caught in a pool that could never compare to the vastness of the ocean, was no concern of mine when I thought of you, the pain in my body turning into your sweet and soft caresses with my imagination.

In a pod like the one I grew up in, the thought of two merfolks creating their own separate life was not one that was ever considered. Males returned from their breeding spree with other pods, back to theirs, their family, their place of belonging. We'd raise the children of our females, our family staying tight-knit and closed off to outsiders. A male would never bring back a partner to integrate and be the only one they loved. The only one they'd ever desire. It was selfish and wrong and brought risks to the pod, who could get sick or attacked because of the actions of one of their sons and brothers.

But the humans told me it was quite normal for my kind. Not the orcas, the mermaids. Sirens, that's what the humans called us, but they mixed up the description with mermaid ever so often. For fun? For practical uses? I didn't know. I didn't care. I didn't bring you back here, so I'd have to wreck my head around all the weird things you did. I carried you here because I remembered. Remembered others like me—sharks, whales, seals. So many of them, and all of them… happy. Content being held in these large but closed-off bodies of water, attended to by one of the humans in their slick garments and coats. Not at all bothered by the probing, painful experiments done to them as long as they got to rest in the arms of their mates.

I still didn't understand it. But when I thought of you and called you my mate, knowing you were sitting just an arm's length from the edge of my pool, it was more freeing than escaping this facility back when my cousins and I had been captured. It felt right. Natural. It made no sense, but it made everything make sense. And I liked how it felt. I liked how you made me feel. I didn't care much about anything else, neither my past nor my future here, as long as you were with me.

At first, I had been hesitant around you, remembering the pain humans caused us, binding us and forcing us to sleep while they cut us open and injected weird poison into our bodies. I couldn't understand why my pod mates were so inclined to be around you, considering what the humans did to us, but now, it was almost as if I had forgotten their faces already, their actions of no concern to me.

Now I had you.

Swimming up to the edge of the pool, I reached out to you, my hand so easily fitting around your 'ankle'. Your lips quirked into a grin as you continued writing your report, and I slipped my finger below this strange yet comforting tight fabric you wore, tracing my claw along your 'calf'. You taught me all these words, and I didn't want to miss even one of them. I soaked up every vibration of your voice as if it was the calling whistles of my family, wishing to drown in the sounds you gifted me. After all this time, your 'wetsuit' became the most comforting feeling to me, but your skin's warmth was what excited me the most. You were alive; you were safe. I protected you. It's been all I ever wanted.

"When will you finish?" I asked, innocently enough as I found. Once I returned you to this place, you learned not to be so skittish around me, like a little fish hiding between corals whenever I approached you. I always knew I was stronger than you. You were prey where I was the hunter. You were no match to me, had no claws, no fangs, no poison to hurt me. But only when we spent more time out in the ocean and here, did I realize just how scary I was to you. Monstrous, even. You never said it out loud, but the silence whenever I hurt you accidentally while the humans experimented on me was more painful than any of your words could ever be. So I tried to be less like myself and more like you wanted me to be, even if that meant putting my wants and needs beneath yours. It had paid off, no matter the difficulty.

You told me you didn't want to be interrupted while you did your studies, spending more hours leaning over your 'clipboard' than you did in the water with me. I wanted nothing more than to float through my tank with you; cared for nothing but you excitedly telling me about your finds and the strange food you had at the 'cafeteria' that day. Naturally, yours won over my wants, but being so close yet so far away from you was hard. If not for your skin getting 'pruney' and your body being so unsuitable to the water I needed, I'd have kept you in my arms all day—where you belonged.

"I'm almost done."

Almost. I hated that word. I wanted you now. In my arms, kissing the air into your lungs while I pinned you to the sandy floor of this pool. I learned a lot about myself after coming here, and one thing was: I wasn't a very patient male. Even when I needed to be, to make you, my mate, like me more, I couldn't banish these thoughts I had about you. They were partially influenced by my needs and wants, partly by the other humans who told me those cravings were natural. I needed to have you close, breathe your air, hear your voice, taste your lips to survive all of this. I wanted to be around you all the time, barely able to rest whenever you hid from me in your little 'cabin' next to my pool, closing the door that I didn't fit through and kept me outside. But I was wiser now than when I first had been captured. I knew I could make demands when I complied with the things these other humans wanted to do to me. They'd build me a home like the underwater cave, where I could live with you, nothing separating us and you having to rely on me to get in and out from. It would be our cave. A love nest.

Letting myself slide back in the water, I pondered the wonders I'd been promised, my cock aching with need when I thought about making a family with you. Where I came from, there was no such thing as nesting and spending uninterrupted time mating with a partner. The thought of being tangled with you in our cave, covering you in my marks as you accepted my cock inside your warmth, was nothing short of breathing life back into me and testing my patience at the same time. We had yet to introduce the idea to you, but the other humans told me they'd make sure you'd finally accept the mate bond once they talked to you. So far, you called yourself my 'caretaker', and while I didn't dislike how it proclaimed me as yours, I wished you'd finally accept me as your mate like I had you. After all, it was me who was taking care of you—like I promised.

I said I'd protect you, and though the experiments on my body hurt, I'd be happy as long as I got to be with you in return. And be with you I did, especially now that you put the clipboard away, your attention shifting to me.

Immediately, I pushed out of the water and onto the metal grids spreading over parts of my tank so the humans could walk comfortably over my pool. You smiled softly as you scooted closer to the edge—closer to me—smelling like the sterile 'alcohol' everyone seemed to apply to their skin, but also of me, which I ensured by rubbing myself against you every chance I got. In the big ocean, you wouldn't notice the scent mark of another creature. You'd bite and carve your possession in clear view for others. But here, with everyone having a mate, the scentings were loud and clear. I, too, couldn't let any other creature here be mistaken about who you belonged to, even though they were all equally busy marking their own mates in the same way.

I let you cup my face in your tiny hands, palms so small they could barely hold my cheeks, but it didn't repulse me. Unless I kept you in the water with me, your hands were warm and soft, your heartbeat pulsing so vigorously just below your thumb. Your touch could make anything better, be it the anxiety of being apart from you or the prodding needles and knifes cutting into me. As long as you were with me, there was nothing I couldn't endure. I just knew it. I knew it from the moment I tore the sharks limb from limb for daring to threaten you, ripping their hearts out for having the audacity to touch what was mine.

Wrapping my arms around your body, you chuckled as I drew you close, burying my head into your stomach and chest. Your heartbeat was my favorite sound, but the giggles almost sounded like purrs when I pressed my ear to your body. The differences between us were great, but I still found similarities if only I was given the time to look for them. I still didn't trust the humans and didn't have to like them. But I trusted you, and I did what I had to do to be with you.

"Are you done now?" I mumbled, your hand combing through my hair while I nuzzled into you. You often brushed your hands through the strands, watched them float in the water, and played with them. It gave me a great feeling of satisfaction knowing you liked my hair. Liked me. We were simply meant for each other, considering how much I liked you too.

"I am. Thank you for waiting," you confirmed, patting my head. My heart leapt at the gesture, so starved from only being allowed to watch you. I tightened my arms around you, ready to pull you into my tank and considering not letting you leave tonight. But before I could take you for a swim, your fingers clawed into my upper arms, and the dreadful screeching of the metal door leading out of my territory forced me to halt.

"Professor!" you greeted the person entering our space uninvited, rudely interrupting my already limited time with you. I couldn't help but snarl at the man in the white coat, the very same one that had threatened you with death the first time you met him, the thought making me bare my teeth at him. I didn't have to like anyone of the other humans, but there was nothing to like about him in the first place for any of us.

Anguish spread through me as you slipped out of my hold, getting to your 'feet' to greet the Professor. Disgruntled and shunned by you, I sank back into the water, watching the unnecessary closeness you two had developed over the last few weeks. Water splashed between your sets of feet as I couldn't help but thrash my tail, reminding the Professor to stay away from my mate. But it only caused you to whip around, hissing, "Nerrocan!" to remind me of my 'manners'. I knew he didn't fear me, and I knew I could easily kill him. But for the humans, he was in a position like Krill's mother had been to me. A leader. Someone they followed and trusted with decisions. Compared to my 'aunt', however, this male deserved none of my trust and loyalty. He neither earned it nor was I inclined to trust anything he said. He was faker than the sand at the bottom of the ocean.

"I've come to collect the research data from the last round of testing. Do you happen to have it on hand already?" he asked you, ignoring me and my attempts to signal him to stay away completely. Annoyed, bordering on mad, I had to watch as you retrieved your clipboard, humming thoughtfully as you went through the papers sticking to it before shaking your head.

"I had them here somewhere, I swear! I must have accidentally left them in my room. Please wait a moment, I'll go and get them for you!"

With that, you quickly moved away, opening the door to your cabin and disappearing behind it. I was tempted to swim after you, already pushing my body in the direction of where you went and further into the pool, when the male called out to me.

"So, how are you finding your life here, Nerrocan?"

I could feel the growl building in my chest as he used my name so freely to annoy me. I'd have preferred it had he not addressed me at all, considering I was not up to chitchatting with anyone else but you—especially not with him.

"I take it you've gotten used to this place then," he monologued, looking up from your clipboard after reading your report. "We are delighted to have you, you know? Orcas have been eluding us for a long time, and the samples we've gotten from you have proven very successful for our research. I just wish we had another one here... You don't think one of your friends might want to join us?"

"They won't come," I snapped back instantly, already feeling like biting the Professor's throat out after this brief exchange. Human speech was hard enough to understand, but even I could tell his words were embellished attacks. He was nothing but greedy and had wanted me to spill the location of my pod from the very beginning. Whenever they did something to my body and my mind was hazy and unfocused, he'd take advantage and ask about the others and where to find them. Apparently, their 'trackers' were too old or broken to find my pod, but I wouldn't tell him their whereabouts, even though he was just as impatient as me.

And no one would come, that much I was sure of.

I only realized it after coming back to this facility, but the others didn't remember. Not like I did, at least. What happened to their bodies either forced them to forget about this place and the way back here, or they were trying to forget to stay sane—at least Krill. Lyr had definitely changed after what they did to him. It had been a slow shift at first, his changes barely apparent. But as of late, something in him just… snapped. I didn't know the reason, but he seemed out of his mind most days without him even noticing. But I was pretty sure it was because of one of the experiments. And Krill seemed to pretend everything was fine for a while. We got away, and, once we returned to the pod, 'nothing happened'. But he must have realized it too that the three of us were clearly not the same anymore. That none of us could participate in the normal life in the pod, we were forced into again after our experience.

But at least that meant they wouldn't come here. They wouldn't have to suffer again like I did.

The Professor's eyes narrowed, his expression telling despite him thinking he was unreadable. In reality, he hated being challenged. He didn't want to be questioned; he didn't want anyone to defy him. He was weak. A weak human male that could not deal with not being the most powerful in the room. And none of our kind—be it shark, seal, orca—had proven that point to him yet if only for the sake of their mates.

"You know, I'm surprised you brought your mate here," he suddenly said, his features sharpening after not getting the information he wanted from me. "There would have been a public beach just further north from here, barely half a day of swimming. Undoubtedly, you knew that?"

There it was again, an attack hidden beneath innocent questions. But this time, I couldn't help but dip lower into the pool, hide in the safety of my water, and consider leaving him standing there by himself. Then again, I couldn't trust him with you. You'd return any second now, and he had one of these 'guns' under his coat that could hurt you if I wasn't present to intervene. So I kept watching him, suspicious of his every move.

"It's like…" he mused, bringing one hand to his face and tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Almost like you wanted to trap them here. After all, we wouldn't have let you and your friends go either had you not put up a fight and slipped from us. Perhaps you thought your mate wouldn't be able to leave you if you brought them here. That they'd need you like you need them, could that be it? You did it all while knowing they'd be imprisoned here with you and become unhappy, didn't you?"

A hideous, fake smile crossed his features, and it was almost enough to make me leap for him and tear his head from his shoulders. How dare he made such assumptions?! I'd have found great pleasure in crushing his skull and tearing that grin apart. "What do you know?" I hissed instead, baring my teeth.

Humans didn't feel the mate bond. That's the first painful thing I learned here. A human male would never understand the suffocating feeling of being apart from his mate. He wouldn't know the fear and panic of letting them get out of your reach and how much any type of your mate's rejection hurt. How your mate's pain is your pain, just ten times as bad. On land, it would have only been a matter of time until I could no longer follow you. As big as the ocean was, the land reached far and wide, and it was I who was no longer suitable when it came to traverse it. He talked about your unhappiness, but you were allowed to study lifeforms you found interesting. You were protected by me and could pursue your interest without leaving me behind. Not being allowed to leave this place was the small price you had to pay in all of this. Smaller than what I had to endure for you.

I did what you wanted. I brought you here as you asked me to. Back then, I didn't know how much my life had changed with you in it, but when they talked about having to kill you after we entered this place, there was no question about whether I'd protect you or not. And keeping you here with me was the only way to keep you safe. By staying here with you, I was keeping you alive, no matter what they did to me. Who cared if I remembered how these humans didn't want to let us sirens go the first time I ended up here? Remembered how many humans we had to kill and how many more of our kind we sacrificed to get out? This human male wouldn't understand, but I did. I sacrificed a lot to return here and stay with you, and I saw no fault in my decision to do what my mate wanted me to.

"It's better this way. For both of us," I growled, and he let out a brief chuckle, amusement flashing over his features.

"If that's what you want to believe," he said dismissively, his eyes crossing over the pool to the door to your cabin. Immediately, I felt the alert to his focus shifting, forcing me to swim over to that side so that, whatever may happen, I'd be the first to get to you. But to my surprise, the Professor raised his hands and shook his head dismissively of my worries.

"I won't tell your mate what we just talked about. In fact, it's better they don't learn that their subject forced them into being imprisoned here despite knowing this would happen. They seem to enjoy their work, and they do it well enough. As long as you play nice and let us get our samples from you, we won't have a reason to come between you two. But you already know that, right?"

He was back to grinning like the mad human he was, taking pleasure in the suffering of others. I hated that he had once again attacked me with his words, defeating me in this fight. The Professor had explained to me before that he wouldn't want me to be unhappy and dissatisfied by taking my mate from me. But if I wanted to be with you, I had to do what they asked of me without harming anyone else. My actions may have 'imprisoned' you here, as the Professor liked to call it, but you weren't alone in this. In fact, I was sure we weren't the only ones in this kind of predicament. After all, there were countless other pairs stuck in this facility—willingly or unwillingly.

"I got them!" your beautiful voice rang out as you exited your resting place. I tore away from the Professor, swimming over to you and chirping softly, gaining a smile from you. I'd never do anything to harm this lovely smile of yours. I wanted to keep it directed at me for all our lives.

Even if that meant playing the Professor's games and agreeing to his deals.

You handed him a stack of papers before kneeling beside me, brushing over my head as I rose high enough on the platform to protect you. Your touch was soothing and reassuring, but I didn't let my eyes stray from the male beside you, hoping he'd finally leave us alone now that he had what he had come for. I wanted you for myself, but he was taking his time studying the results.

He only briefly glanced from the papers you gave him to me, a grin flashing behind his hand raised to his face in contemplation. It was an oath of silence, one I couldn't trust but had to be content with. I'd not get more than that from him. All he offered was forcing me to believe he'd keep his fake promises. If anyone was going to tell you, it should have been me, even if I felt undeserving of the accusation that I did something to harm you. But humans wouldn't understand. My mate wouldn't understand. So you certainly were better off never learning about this conversation.

"All exceptional results! Thank you for your hard work!" he finally exclaimed. Immediately some of the tension stiffening your body vanished, and you let out your breath, smiling at him.

"Any time, Professor!"

After shaking his hand goodbye, the older male finally left for the door. But not without throwing me another glance and a knowing smile before vanishing behind the screeching metal. Immediately, I shifted my focus back to you, not wanting to spare a second of my time dreading this encounter as much as I did while it was happening. I had better things to do, more important ones. This time I'd let no one interrupt us.

"W-Wait, Nerrocan!" your words were stricken with infectious laughter, curling my lips into a grin as well. You couldn't even react to how fast I had picked you up by the waist and plunged you into the depths of my tank with me. Finding your lips even through all the bubbles we two caused, my gills flared, allowing your lungs to fill with my air as I slipped my tongue into your tiny, delicate mouth. Your taste was the sweetest poison on this planet, intoxicating and making me desperate for more.

But your initial gentle hold on my shoulders turned rigid, being underwater still uncomfortable for you despite feeling so right for me. I already knew you had problems with prolonged stays beneath the surface after we traveled below it for days, and though I regretted leaving the only place that was truly safe to me, I did what was best for you, sliding my tail between your legs so you'd have a surface to sit on once we breached the water.

You inhaled sharply as you tore from my lips, coughing up some water that had slipped between us despite me making sure to lodge my tongue deeply where it belonged. Truth be told, I wanted more than this from you. I want to sink you to the bottom of the ocean where you'd have to cling to me for air, wrap your legs around me, and opened yourself up to my cock so I could breed you properly. Mate you, as they called it here. Claim and fill you with my seed until you were fully satiated with my spill. All while I'd get to drown in every kiss you gave and listen to your raised heartbeat every time I spread your hole with my cock. Then, you'd finally be mine, body and soul, unable to deny the mate bond any longer and give yourself to me completely until all my seed had been drained from my painfully aching cock.

If only it were the right time for that.

We'd need our love nest first and the other humans' talk, explaining why it was imperative you let me mate you. I needed the safety of a cover and to be left alone with you before I could bring myself to take you fully. Nowhere in this facility was safe, and I wouldn't allow you to be vulnerable to anyone else but me. I wanted to keep protecting you, even though I was considering abandoning all these precautions for my need to sink my burning desire into you, marking you beyond rubbing my scent off on you. I hated having to wait, but at least I still had my time with you.

Holding you by the waist, I supported you, letting you regain your strength and focus. I listened to the moment you inhaled deeply and freely again, another beautiful sound, even if I liked you breathing the air from my lungs more. "Sorry…" I mumbled, not being sorry for putting you into the position you belonged. Trapped against me in a heated kiss, our bodies barely separated by the thin layer of fabric you wore. But I was sorry for you being so uncomfortable in the water, despite me being there, taking care of you.

"All good," you mumbled, waving off my apology and smiling kindly at me instead. You had changed a lot, too, especially after spending so much time with me. I was thankful for every bit of understanding from you, bringing us closer together and forming the unity of our mate bond, even if you had yet to realize it. Floating through the pool with you on top of me was my favorite evening activity, the stars twinkling above us, despite only being visible at a few spots in the ceiling, through thick windows. Almost. It was almost like being outdoors with you again, free and alone, somewhere out in the ocean.

"Do you miss being outside?" you suddenly asked, and my eyes fell back on you. You had gotten more comfortable on top of me, tugging in a leg of yours while the other drifted through the water next to my body. You had followed my gaze to the round glass windows above me, guessing what I must be thinking about.

"Yes," I answered honestly, no need to hide the truth. Between staying here in this strange, imprisoning place with you and being back in the ocean with you, I'd have chosen the sea without a second thought. Both places were dangerous, and both had their sets of risks. But I was going to protect you either way, here or there. The only place we could not go together was the land you longed for—terribly so.

"Me too," you whispered after a brief silence, staring wistfully at the stars above. I slowed my movements, coming to a halt beneath such a window, allowing you not to twist your neck to see them better. "I wish we weren't stuck here. I wish you could be out there and be free, not having to go through these experiments that hurt you so much. But…”

"It's not possible," I finished the sentence for you as your voice trailed off. "Would you like me to break us out of here?"

You gave a short laugh, finally lowering your gaze back to me. Your eyes shone brighter than any star above could. Both the night sky and the water below us were things I loved, but they didn't compare to you, couldn't even scratch at your beauty. They only added to your charm but were never able to overtake it. If I had to choose between them and you, I'd still choose you. I'd always choose you.

"That's not something we should be thinking about, Nerrocan," you mumbled, your voice losing its usual loveliness, the sound turning sourly, the shine in your eyes dimming. You wanted to say "yes" badly; I could see that. Human language was difficult, but reading your kind less so. You often said things you didn't mean to please others, even me on occasion, instantly regretting your words despite trying to hide your feelings behind smiles. You and I both wanted to leave, but you thought it was too dangerous. You thought it was something even I couldn't handle, especially not alone. That you'd be a burden rather than my drive to fulfill your wish, and ultimately, I'd leave you behind to die. After all this time, you still thought so little of me.

I wanted your dreams to come true. I really did.

But I held myself back despite that.

"It's not so bad here that we'd need to leave. We get good food every day and are safe from others. Besides, I get to hang out with you every day! It's not that bad, right?"

Your words made me happy, but they were conveniently woven lies. It was so easy to lie for you humans, be it for your own sake or others'. My kind would speak their mind without a second thought, but humans calculated their words carefully. Life here was awful, and you knew it. These people here did their horrible experiments on us sirens, sometimes lasting hours at a time, and their mates had to watch, some getting hurt in the action. As if that wasn't enough, they'd force the mates to write long reports and watch their broken, depressed, hurt sirens, forcing them to comply by actively involving them in the process. As the professor said, no one was allowed to leave, and the choice of where to go was limited to the places open to you and my tank for me. The people behind this place tried to hide how little they truly cared about us by making the pools more enjoyable for the sirens and their mates and making promises to provide and ensure the safety of the inhabitants of this place. I did trap you here, didn't I?

Was I a selfish mate after all? Did I only bring you here for my own sake?

If so, what made me so different from the humans I despised?

"Yes," I lied. "Life here is not so bad."

I had you, at least. That's all that mattered to me.

You smiled, but it seemed discouraged and sad. Perhaps because you knew I had imitated you with your lying. I was sure you wanted me to fight, to get us out of here and give you the freedom you desired. But the truth was that you didn't ask it of me, and I didn't want to let you go. Because our freedoms could never align with each other. Mine was in the ocean, and yours on land. Only here did we find a place where we could be together. Only here could I be with you forever, even if it meant we'd never be truly free.

You leaned down, laying on my chest as you thought about all the thoughts you'd never let me hear. What you truly felt and wanted, but held yourself back, not wanting to be selfish or endanger us. Not knowing I was just as selfish as you were.

I wrapped you in my arms, holding you and giving you all the comfort I could offer. If not this place, then at least I could be home to you. If you told me, I could be what you needed me to, and maybe one day, you would speak about what you wanted so I could act on them if they seemed right to me. But I could do all these things and more that would make you forget and free you of the burden that you put on yourself by being considerate and having to make decisions for us—right here. Just like I decided to come here and agree with the terms of the Professor in exchange for keeping you with me, I could do them for you. Once you made up your mind to agree to our mate bond, I'd make you forget all the bad thoughts you were having. The pain and despair. Instead, I'd drown you in pleasure and fulfillment as my mate. We'd both be finally content with where we were and not worry so much about the consequences of our decision.

"I'm glad you're here at least," you mumbled, not allowing me to see your face. Read from it if you meant what you said or not. But regardless, it made my heart swell with affection for my little mate, my cock aching as it reminded me of my natural instincts.

The day I'd make you completely mine couldn't come fast enough. You'd never be alone as I'd always be with you, my marks claiming you as mine, be it bite marks or spill dripping from your holes. You'd never have to face anything on your own again as I'd take care of you, protect you, and ensure no more suffering for you to endure like I had always promised. Whatever the future held for us, I'd get us through it, even if you didn't think me capable of it now. Once I mated you, you'd learn to have more confidence in me, seeing how well I can satisfy you. I just needed to prove myself to you again and again until you'd accept me completely.

"I am glad, too," I confessed, meaning it, hoping you could feel the sincerity in my voice.

Together, we drifted through the pool in circles for a long time in silence, the soft rippling in the water and your breathing the only sounds echoing around us, stars twinkling in a gentle greeting when we looked up at them. I wanted this moment to never end, for your body to never be pried from mine. I dreamed about the whole universe revolving only around us with no one to disturb this togetherness, no worries bothering our peace. Our world, free of pain and expectations, of lies and sadness. Just you, in my arms, with nothing keeping us apart. Together until the waters would take our bodies for our eternal rest.

And I knew I'd make this dream of mine come true, no matter what I had to do. No matter the suffering and pain I had to endure; the many more times you'd give me a gaze full of sadness, wanting to leave this place. Even if the Professor kept threatening me, I'd not let anyone take you from me, would not let my mate get hurt, or be forced into more sadness. I'd make everything better. I knew I could make it all better.

Because I belonged with you, and in return, you were mine.

Trapped with me for all eternity.

My! Seems like you made it! I believed in you all this time!

Or did you?

Love is such a tricky emotion, like the tides that draw from the beach, only to return quicker than humans realize, trapping them. You can never be sure when these unassuming waters come for your life; the same goes for love.

Maybe you'd have wanted to try something other than this, but is it truly the worst outcome you could have wished for? Did you not want to be loved so dearly that someone would risk their life for you? Or was there something else you'd have rather achieved with your journey?

I am pleased you followed my instructions, but I can see it in your eyes; there's still so much you haven't experienced yet. Who knows, maybe I can help you with that! I'd be glad to show you what happened to the other two orcas you were caught up with or what would have happened had you made a different choice on your adventure, but for now, this is goodbye.

I hope you will find happiness in that new life of yours, so far from my ocean. I'm afraid not even I can help you escape from where you ended up. But who knows? Maybe you'll come to like it there.

Just like everyone else.

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alecvolturiswifeforever · 6 months

Text

Sunlight in a dark room (ii) | A.V x Reader

warnings: ehhh floof?

a/n: i love jane idc what anyone says she’s my little pookie (she’d eat me) 🥹🥹

ʚɞ

You heard a hiss as both wives made their way over towards you and Alec. Sulpicia gripping your shoulders gently as Athenodora cupped your cheeks and turned your face to inspect you.

“What happened?” She demanded as she averted her eyes to Alec, now stood behind Sulpicia. A blur intercepted your vision as Aro was suddenly next to his wife on the opposite side , holding out his hand in a silent question.

You place your hand within his, leaning into Dora’s soft touch and after a moment he tutted before pulling away.

“It seems there are some unwanted guests within the castle walls after all.” You heard a hiss from Caius. “They have harmed our dear human”

You made eye contact with Alec who gave you a reassuring look before turning to his master.

“Alec, I trust you are able to ensure that they are dealt with by your fellow guards whilst our sweet Jane tends to Y/N’s wound?” Aro looked at him and for a moment it was almost as if your mate was going to protest, however opting to bow with a small ‘Yes, master’ before turning and leaving in a blur. The queens gave you a final once over, before you felt a cold wrist encase yours and move you back to the steps behind you.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

You felt the damp cloth dab against your face as Jane swiped up the dried droplets of red which had stained your cheek.

Her face was stoic as she did so, much like it usually was, though her touch was gentle and almost felt comforting in the midst of the chaos. Your usual smile was replaced with a soft frown and you looked at your hands as Alec’s previous words replayed through your head like a mantra.

“You’re naïve to that that nothing bad will ever happen to you and you’re stupid to think you’re safer in here than out with your own kind”

“What’s wrong?” Jane’s voice pierced through your daze and you moved your eyes to meet her red ones as she continued to swipe at your cheek.

“What?” You looked at her incredulously.

“I may choose not to speak to you but do you really think I am oblivious? You’re moping, Y/N. It’s not like you. What’s wrong?” She rolled her eyes at you as you avert your gaze.

“It’s- It’s nothing.” You started but doubted whether it was a good decision to talk to Jane - of all people - about Alec.

“It’s not nothing and you know it.” She accused and you let out a sigh.

“It’s just- Alec said something to me earlier and I can’t help but feel like he was right… I don’t know.. it’s stupid.”

Jane let out a scoff before sighing, dropping the cloth back into the bowl of soapy water next to her and moving to sit next to you on the step.

“Well? What did he say?”

Your face flushed as you questioned with yourself whether to tell her, deciding that maybe… just maybe if you could bond just a little with Jane then Alec would potentially lay off on the hate parade for a while.

“He- He said that I was naïve..” You took a breathe before continuing. “that i’m stupid to believe i’m safer in here than I am with other.. people”

You heard Jane suck in a sharp breathe and you moved your gaze to look at her. She started right ahead, seemingly contemplating what to say next. After a moment of silence she spoke up.

“My brother is… well he’s complicated.” You snorted and she glared at you, though the small smile on her lips told a different story. “He says things a lot… things that he does not mean. He believes that pushing you away is better than keeping you tied to him-”

“He said that?” You cut her off and she glared at you again.

“Let me finish. He believes all humans are the same, i’m sure you’ve heard about our.. past experiences?” She raises an eyebrow and you looked at her sympathetically. “He feels you’ll end up like the others. He needs you to prove you are different, though he will not tell you that himself.”

You pondered her words with a frown. You look at her in confusion.

“So what do I do? How do I prove that when he will barley look at me? He hates me. ”

“I think his moment with you earlier was enough to prove he does not hate you.” She scoffed and you smiled slightly at the thought of his protective nature. The worried tone in his voice. The way he held you. The safe feeling that washed over you when you realised he was there.

“You need to talk to him Y/N. Stop avoiding each other and make him realise you are not like them.” She placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, squeezing slightly before standing and making her way back over to Aro.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

The throne room doors burst open as the rest of the guard missing entered. Alec’s eyes instantly fall onto you and you sucked in a breathe. You hear Demetri debriefing with the kings, informing them that there were no vampires residing in Volterra though that there was also no sign of any Romanians. Meanwhile you stood, making your way over to who was meant to be your mate. He gave you a once over before tilting his head.

“I see Jane did a good job cleaning you up.” His voice was low and you nodded.

“She did. I’m grateful for her help.” His eyes softened at your kind words toward his sister. “Can I t-talk to you?”

He narrowed his eyes before taking your hand which you held out to him, guiding him over to the corner you had been sitting in.

“I-“ You struggled with where to start. “You were right.”

He looked at you in confusion.

“What you said this morning. You were right. I am naïve. I’m stupid to think i’m safe here.” You voice broke as you spoke and he hung his head slightly. “But I want you to know that i’m not like them. I don’t want to hurt you I- there is no intention for me to do so and I hope that one day you’ll realise that.” You swallowed the lump in your throat and he looked up to meet your eyes.

“I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Hm?”

“What I said this morning… I didn’t mean it. I just- I feel so… I fear you, Y/N”

You furrowed your eyebrow at him.

“You fear me?”

“Yes. I fear you.” He took an unneeded breathe “Every night once you’ve fallen asleep I imagine what it would feel like to hold you, to be there for you, to be the one to comfort you and make sure you’re safe… that is until your incessant sleep talking distracts me.”

He tries to joke and you giggle, his eyes lighting up slightly.

“Every night I sit there and think about making things right with you but the moment you wake up I fear you. I fear you will end up seeing me how they saw me-how they still see me. But more than that I fear that if I make an attempt at pursuing something it will put you in danger; something will happen to you much like what happened to me and you will end up as I am- hell it almost did today.”

Your eyes well up and you take his hand. He looks at you properly then and he gives you a soft smile.

“If anything, I said those things because I am the one who is stupid to think I can have any form of commitment with someone without them getting hurt. I don’t deserve it…” He trailed off, looking to the floor.

“Everyone is deserving of love, Alec ” You placed a hand on his cheek and you barley felt him tilt his head into the hold, eyes on you once again. Your voice lowered to a whisper “Please let me in. Let me love you the way you deserve. I want- I need you to understand how much I want to make this work”

He watched you for a moment before leaning in, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you closed your eyes in content, he placed his forehead against yours, wiping away the tears which had spilled out with the pads of his thumbs before pulling you into his side.

“We will be okay, sweetface, we will make it work. I promise.”

ʚɞ

#alec volturi #alec volturi x reader #alec volturi imagines #volturi imagines #twilight imagines #volturi #the twilight saga #twilight #demetri volturi #felix volturi #jane volturi

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d6volution · 6 months

Text

Corporeal

Caine/Fem!Reader

caine wants to learn more about humans, so why not become one himself? surely, these new waves of emotions and new desires won't become an issue.

tags: human!caine unresolved feelings, sexual tension, lingerie, making out, pining until the end, explicit sexual content, caine is pussy drunk.

minors dni.

Chapter Three.

previous chapter.

Well, he kept his word. You two did meet the next day, and the day after that. You told him whatever bits and pieces of your time as a human that you could remember. He seemed to listen.. but also seemed a little out of touch... like his mind was elsewhere. Whenever you brought it up, he simply put on his usual act.

"Oh, not to worry dear! I am beginning to understand a bit more about how.. caring humans can be, so if you're worried don't be! I am perfectly fine! In fact, better than ever. I have certainly learned a lot from you." He said, almost sounding impressed.

"I'm glad I could help, Caine." You couldn't help but smile at the praise he was giving you.

Your smile caused him to look away, those funny feelings returning.

"My, my look at the time!" He was glancing at his wrist, which was adorned by the wacky watch.

"Oh, already..?" You didn't realize just how fast time passed when you two were together, "Same time tomorrow then?" You said, hopeful.

"It would seem so," He studied your expression. "Hmm, I can't help but notice that you seem a little ..disappointed." He hope he correctly evaluated your emotions.

"No, I mean— a ... little." You wanted to deny this observation but he could see through you, so it would be no use.

"Worry not my dear! I'll always be around of course, though I've come to realize it is normal to miss people you spend a lot of time aro— mmf?!" Your hands yanked at his collar before he could try and put anymore distance between you, your lips meeting. He talked too much.

Couldn't he feel the tension that was growing between you two? It was palpable in the air. Maybe he just needed a little push.. your tongue even brushed against his closed lips.

You were nervous, but maybe, after getting closer to him.. it was easier, or maybe you were just desperate and simply losing your mind in this digital world.

Your lips were soft and inviting, the heat from your mouth was diving him crazy. He couldn't think.

Caine went stiff, he wanted badly to kiss you back. Squeeze your hips and pull your closer but .. he couldn't. Surely these feelings of yours were simply because you took a familiar form of a human.

They couldn't really be for him right?

His hands slowly lowering onto your shoulders and gripped them gently, pushing you away. "W.. Well, y/n what a very.. bold act of affection!" He was beet red now, almost like he was short circuiting. "U‐Unfortunately you're aware I cannot return these... feelings, yes? It would be.. dangerous."

You were at a lost of words, you acted without thinking and now he was looking at you with pity in his eyes, "I.. sorry, I don't know what I was thinking— .." You took a few steps back. But your lips were still tingling.

"N-No, need to apologize!" He tugged at his collar to let off some steam and without another word he wrapped an arm around your waist and within a blink of an eye you were both in front of your room door.

"There we are! Now go and rest your pretty little head, I.. will be back at a later hour to check on you, how's that sound?" It was an excuse. He wanted to see you again after this. Just.. to confirm a few things after you've settled down from these heightened emotions.

You nodded, still suffering from embarrassment of your feelings and advancements in general being denied. Yet you weren't completely unaware.. you could see it in his eye too, the stuttering and fidgeting it was as if he were holding himself back.

Maybe.. he just needed another little push.

"This.. this certainly isn't right, far from family friendly.. far from appropriate." He was pacing back and fourth inside of his "room." "I could risk abstracting if this gets too far! .. Well, maybe not. Iam the showrunner here.."

Bubble emerged from his hat unannounced, "This all apart of the human experience Caine! Why not give her all the love you're legally allowed to give..?"

POP.

That mischievous bubble certainly was not helping. The thought, even coming from bubbles silly mouth made his cheeks dust with a light pink. Everytime he thought about you in such a way he could feel a piece of his resolve breaking off.

He needed to end this, this experiment had provided him with plenty of knowledge but, if continued to play human it would only lead him into heaps of trouble that he was certain of. Before he changed back... he did promise to check in on you.

He arrived at your door, and hesitated to knock. Attempting to groom himself a little beforehand. He inhaled, then knocked.

"Caine..?" You called out from the other side of the door.

"Yes, that's me!"

"C.. Come in." Your voice was muffled by the door, but he heard you clearly and opened it up, stepping inside his eyes immediately got wide. He slammed the door behind him so no one else could see what he was seeing.

You lying in bed with silky fabric hardly covering your body, your skin on display. Your expression vulnerable, yet desperate. Caine felt like he was going to glitch out of existence.

"Y/N! You.. someone else could have seen you like this and it's hardly appropriate! You are aware this show is supposed to be for all ages." He said but his fists clenched and he could feel his pants getting tight.

Not good.

"Can't we forget about all that for one night Caine..? I've.. seen how you look at me.. even earlier, you wanted to kiss me back right?" Your voice was sultry as it was desperate, you crawled towards the end of the bed and the silky fabric was sliding off of your body.

He swallowed and rushed over, attempting to fix it. "W-Woah there!" You took this chance to cup his growing erection.

"Is this family friendly... Caine..?"

The feeling of your small hand caressing his straining dick was enough. It throbbed in his pants and he pushed you onto the bed. Straddling you, his breathing had grew heavy.

"It seems I've been caught red handed, I am supposed to be gentleman like my dear, " His eyes roamed along your half naked body.

"But, you are making it quite difficult. I suppose, as my human test bunny your are willing to take responsibility?" He sounded as desperate as you looked now.

"O.. Of course, Caine.." Your squirmed under his gaze, and he slowly pushed aside the silk lingerie that was comcealing your nipples. His erection was pressed against your thigh and he was unknowingly grinding against your soft skin.

"Just.. for today, I'll indulge in your i.. inappropriate behavior, dear y/n." He swallowed.

"Take them off Caine.." You mutteted and tugged at his the waistline of his pants.

"Oh, no no my dear. After all this trouble you caused I think you deserve a little punishment!" He said with a grin, his resolve was gone. Completely, whatever code was inside of him urging him to obey the rules was temporarily disabled.

"Now, as lovely as that silk looks on you would you mind taking it off?" His voice fell at the end of his sentence. He planned on having you completely in the nude while he stayed fully dressed.

You sat up and he scoots back on the bed, allowing you to stripped in front of him.

He couldn't help it, his dick was straining violently against his pants.. he removed himself from his pants, and started to stroke himself. "Do forgive me dear, I've always said you make my body act so strangely and this is no exception."

You stared at the heavy cock in between his thighs, you could feel the slick between your legs.

"Caine.." Your eyes finally met his, "Please touch me.."

"Well, if you ask so nicely how can I say no?" He grins and climbs atop you again, this time quickly closing the distance between you both and pressing his lips against yours. It was to make up for earlier.

Your body instinctively arched towards his, your hips shifting to feel his cock brush against your bare cunt. You were practically humping at his shaft like a dog in heat. He groaned into your mouth and returned the movement. Both of your sexes rubbed against each other as you made out, breathlessly moaning in between the kiss.

"Feels good.. more Caine.." You whined, your arms locked around his neck and holding him close to you. He smelled like the most expensive cologne mixed with his natrual musk. It was simply intoxicating.

He didn't say anything, his eyes swirling with lust as he lined up his tip with your slick entrance. After slipping a few times he finally plunged inside.

His mind went blank with pleasure and he hardly gave you time to adjust to his size, his hips began to move. "C.. Caine..! hh.. fuck..!" You cursed, and made a not that it wasn't censored.. maybe you really had broken the ringmaster. In one sense.

Your nails dug into his back and as he slammed into your tight cunt, balls slapping against your ass as he fucked you like his very life depended on it.

Your moans didn't go unoticed, your whimpers and whines only fueled his need to fuck you harder. Faster, the bed was rocking beneath you as he seemed to loose all sense of himself while buried inside of you.

He nudged at that spongey spot in your cunt and you saw stars, your back arched and toes curled. Caine was silently taking note of how tight you got all of the sudden.

"H.. How interesting.. it seems like I have much more to learn about you my dear, like how much you tighten around me when I.." He slammed against that spot again, and again. Over and over, til you were in tears.

"C.. Caine..please.. gonna c-cum.. !" You managed to sputter out, but he was way ahead of you. He planned on having you cum together.

"Nngh .. that's .. the plan darling.." He grunts and your body suddenly began to spasm, cunt convulsing and gripping his shaft vicely. His own hips sputtered to a stop as he spilled into you without thinking. The relief washing over his body as numbness washed over your own.

You stared at the ceiling coming down from your high. Caine thrusted a few more times, before pulling out.

"My, my.. what a cruel creator I must have to hide such pleasures from me.. are you alright, y/n? I didn't seem to be completely myself there." He pushed some hair from your face and you nodded grabbing his hand and nuzzling it.

His face was hot again, just as this little display of affection.

"I suppose being human for a little while longer couldn't hurt."

#the amazing digital circus #minors dni #caine x reader #tadc caine #the amazing digital circus caine #caine x reader smut

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dotster001 · 3 months

Text

Q.P.R. Headcanons; First years

I never knew that I needed aro head cannons in my life but now I need like 42 more so I DEMAND *asking nicely* for more please - @bakdbfi

Summary: aro-ace first years x aro-ace gn! Reader. Things you guys get up to in a queerplatonic relationship.

A/N: hee hee I am once again on time for aro awareness week 😁

Dorm Leaders

Tbh, I've always wanted to go up to him and say, “Hey Ace, I'm ace!” But if you did this while you're in a QPR, he'd always come up with a snarky comment. Maybe say something like, "Nah, I'm Ace. Fuck off." Smh. He's so silly. I wanna throw rocks at him

He's the aro-ace that always forgets he's aro-ace. He'll come up to you like, “Guess who has a date!” Then he'll come see you afterwards, his eyes dead, and he'll be like, “So, I got distracted by how pretty they are. Oops.” He sees people as attractive, but when he tries to bridge the gap, he's always like, oh, yeah, nevermind. And then he complains to you about it, as though you were the one to set up the date!

He's always in your space. Being in a QPR with him is like gaining an extra cat. He's so affectionate, as long as you don't say anything. He'll scoot his chair so close to yours that your legs touch. If you're laying on the couch, he will climb over you and shove himself into your arms, in the most awkward, clumsy way possible. BUT IF YOU SAY ANYTHING…. he's gonna gaslight the hell out of you. He didn't want to touch you, get out of his space. Or, pay him if you wanna be in his space so badly.

Not only is he in your space, but he's stealing your food. What's yours is his, and what's his is his. He'll reach his fork over to your plate, and pick up your food. You'll wake up to a noise at three in the morning, and you'll see him raiding your fridge. If you ever become roommates, you'll catch him eating your labeled leftovers, zero shame on his face. What? True love is sharing food with your bestie!

Calls you his wife/husband/spouse when he introduces you. Then he can't fight off the shit eating grin on his face.

You know…honestly… if your mc isn't romantic with Ace, I'd say that in game they already kind of have a QPR. Calling it canon right now. He's just always slightly more close than a friend, but also not quite to romantic.

If you read the first rendition of these HC's, he's a lot like Kalim. He just…doesn't get it. Ace tries to explain that the love he feels for his best friend (you) is different to romantic love and he just never gets it. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, Deuce wants to marry his best friend. He says he wants to marry you all the time. Let's get married and have kids but like in a friend way. His mom and you just smile and shake your heads.

Btw? Mama Spade? That's your mom now. The Spade household has a room set aside for you anytime you want to come over, but it always ends up in Deuce joining you for a cuddle sesh. Sometimes, he won't change rooms until you are half asleep, and he'll slowly open the door, and stand in the doorway. He just looks so sad, standing there in his jammies, holding his extra pillow, so you'd be a monster not to let him in.

Would you co parent some chickens with him? Please please please! He promises he'll do most of the work, he just needs an extra helper!

If you are separated, he will die. He doesn't make the rules. He wants you to be his partner on projects. He wants you to move in with him. And of course you gotta go into the same career after graduation. When people meet him, they just think he is the mopiest little guy. Then, when they see the two of you together, it's like he's a completely different person! Deuce has been asked twice now if he has a secret twin. (Deuce doesn't understand the question)

Greets you with cheek kisses. If you don't do it back, or don't pay enough attention the first time, he makes a very obnoxious kissing sound. He learned this technique from Meemaw. She taught him that the more embarrassing it is, the more likely you are to reciprocate the love he gives.

The boy grew up in a country area with a sweet old grandma. He's always going to be feeding you. It's very rare, when you two are alone, that he's not trying to put some food in your mouth, because “you're not eatin’ enough!” And he's aggressive about it! If you try to dodge the fork he brings to your mouth, he's gonna chase you, pin you down, kick your shins, whatever it takes to get you to eat. Plus, he put all of his love into that food! Why don't you want it?!

Meemaw wants you both to get married. And whenever she says something, Epel makes a loud gagging sound. Which of course prompts you to begin bickering with him about why he wouldn't want to marry you, which usually results in him saying something mean or bratty about how you are unmarriageable. Meemaw sighs happily, thinking she's got you on the right track, but nah. You two are having a fight about something neither of you even wanted.

Likes to tuck you into bed. It's a weird thing of his. For all of how aggressive most of his love is, right before bed, he is at his sweetest. He tells you it's bed time, and pulls back the covers. He gently tucks you in, and gives you a kiss on the forehead. Then he flops onto the bed next to you, completely wrecking the moment. But he sleeps hot, so he's not gonna join you under the covers.

This one is like having a big brother. He has scary dog privileges. Any haters/bullies/naySayers are going to have to be able to spread their hate with him standing behind you and glaring at them. And if they somehow are brave enough to do it, then they have to be brave enough to ignore his vicious growl.

In his birthday note to me, this year, he was like, “my gift for you is to make you buff.” This is your everyday life now. You will be buff. How else are you supposed to be safe when he's not there? (This logic is flawed. He is always there.)

Wants to have a family. But since neither of you are super into the traditional way of having a family, he would like it if you'd adopt and co raise a couple of kids with him. He knows the two of you together would make great parents.

If you learned how to make pear compote, and then make it for him when he's having a bad day, he might almost figure out what romantic love feels like. Almost. His heart would just be so full, and so light, that he could almost mistake it for being in love with you. Almost.

He likes for you both to help each other out with cleanliness. You help him clean his ears and tail, and he helps brush your hair and teeth. It makes him feel loved when you help him groom. So he loves to return the favor. It really instills the familial feel he has around you.

Sebek’s a romance repulsed aro-ace. Anytime he thinks of anyone having ooey gooey feelings for another person, he dry heaves a little. In his words, “IF THEY HAD PURE DEVOTION FOR SOMEONE, THE WAY I AM DEVOTED TO MY LORD, THEY WOULD HAVE NO NEED FOR SUCH FOOLISHNESS.”

Never puts a label on what you two are. He invites you to move in with him after graduation to “remind him what happens if you forget to train and refuse to eat Lilia's healthy meals”. If you were a stranger, you'd be hurt. But you know it's an excuse. He really just likes having you around. It fills a hole in his heart.

His love language is “caring for your fragile human body”. If you slightly shiver, even if it's just a random reaction, he is scooping you up, wrapping you in a blanket burrito, and spoon feeding you soup. If you try to escape your blanket, he gently shushes you, caressing your cheek and whispering about how you need to hang on a little longer. He'll save you, don't go yet! (Similar things happen when you cut yourself, stub your toe, accidentally skip a meal…his dad and Silver may be human, but, no offense, he didn't care that much until it was about you.)

You're the equivalent of a comfort blanket. When Lilia sees Sebek having a bad day, he'll snatch you away from whatever you are doing, then place you in front of him. Sebek immediately gets distracted and starts cooing at you about how wonderful you are, and how other people should try to be like you. Every. Single. Time.

Trains you to sword fight. After you become special to him, he realizes that people may target you, in order to weaken him, and thus get a direct route to Lord Malleus. Delusional So he wants you to be able to protect yourself if he is out of reach.

He's big on setting his hand on top of your head, then messing up your hair aggressively. Then he lets out a booming laugh about how cute human reactions are.

Sometimes, he gets so happy when he sees you that he just…bites you. He'll come in for a hug, and the next thing you know, he's chomped down on your shoulder with a relaxed smile. Sometimes you'll be watching a movie together, and he'll unconsciously take your hand, and bring your forearm to his mouth so he can gently bite it. You're a fidget toy now. You'll have to get used to it.

#twisted wonderland #ace trapolla #ace trappola #aromantic reader #aromantic #asexual reader #asexual #deuce spade #epel felmier #jack howl #sebek zigvolt

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purpletrashcans · 26 days

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I am so fucking annoyed and here is why

I recently made the discovery that i'm probably aromantic and i would like to do what i did when i discoverd that i'm trans which is go and watch/read everything that even has the tiniest bit of trans representation in it, but i can't because there is no aromantic representation

now obviously that's nothing new, i was aware of this problem before and it pissed me right off then as much as it does now

it’s honestly just such bullshit that whenever there is an asexual character in media, basically the first thing they say after coming out as ace is that "they still want to fall in love" like not wanting, not being able to feel romantic love, would make them less human or something like that and of course there are ace people who are not aro, i'm not saying that and i'm not trying to shit on anybodys identity, if you are ace and not aro you are just as valid as anybody else and this lack of aro rep is obviously not your fault, we also need more ace rep while we're on it, that's not the point i'm trying to make, what i mean is that media always tells us that romance makes us human and if you don’t experience that you are either immature, unstable or not human and that's just bullshit

also it is no wonder that when i told my grandma about Loveless by Alice Oseman and how much i love this book, she was worried that i was like Georgia because i never like anyone romantically, she has never heard of aromanticism before, when she thinks of adult people that have never been in a relationship and don't have children she thinks of lonely, sad people and she doesn't want that for me

it is no wonder that when i see my greataunt and -uncle once a year they ask if i have a partner and when i say that no, i don't have a partner, they tell me that i have time and i'll meet someone eventually

and it is no wonder that so, so many people think that they're broken, that they enter relationships and situations that they don't want to be in, that fucking therapist try to cure people, that it took me 21 years, almost losing my friends, actually losing 8 kg in two months do to disordered eating and reading Loveless two times to figure out that i might just be aro, when there is barely any representation whatsoever, when most people haven't even heard of aromanticism

we need more representation and we need it desperately, that way not only will aro people discover their identity sooner and safe themselves a whole lot of trouble, but allo people can also learn how to react to someone being aro and we can all learn that being aro isn't sad or inhumane or weird or lonely

and because i'm a fancy-schmancy college student (who wrote "collage" instead of "college" first because i can not spell)(and have watched too much criminal minds) i would like to end this with a quote by Mariah Wright Edelman (tho the quotes are the worst part of criminal minds, they are so cringe istg):

“You can’t be what you can’t see”

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ketterdamskaelishprince · 1 month

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ada's spectre, and why i'll likely always feel sad about it

here is the promised analysis/talk about ada's spectre. going to preface this by saying i obviously don't know the true intent behind everything and her design, i just like to look, giggle and then make sad little observations which just help me love this silly webcomic even more. so if you disagree with me on something– totally ok! i love to learn and i love to see different interpretations.

there's also a few bits i missed out because i wrote this all last night in a bit of a haze, and i cannot be bothered to expand on some of my ideas, especially when it's just stuff like "BROS SO PARANOID AND RAW RIGHT NOW".

anyways, here we go :) @mugcereal this one's for u pookie <3

so i think with ada's spectre, we first need to look at the instance as to how she gets it, because that always makes things way more sad!

to specify, she turns into her spectre at episode 69, and i think it's really sad how she does it. she basically gets a string of roasts from prospero that go along the lines of calling her "conceited" "twadry" and "... and stupid!" – effectively throwing back in ada's face what she believes everyone thinks of her.

(obviously, as a very big and glaring sidenote, i believe prospero is aro/ace or just aromantic so OBVIOUSLY i am not bashing him for this. bros told her so many times that he doesn't want to be with her, let alone to be touched. that is a flaw in ada's character and is a reminder to us on the importance of boundaries!!!!)

so, ada is basically there, collapsed on the floor in a robe– effectively showing the most intimate and private part of herself as an insecure and lonely girl. and that's when she transforms.

i think it's interesting to understand how this most likely links to her life and how she died. so we know she was killed with an axe, most likely by the man she fell in love with and worked for, and how prospero's words in this situation, hurt her just the same as the words before her death. why?

because they remind ada of what she knows and fears she is: just a stupid, fake and cheap person who will never have the same status and respect as the people she pretends to be and surrounds herself by.

i think it's also interesting that she's clutching her stomach/torso here, and correct me if i'm wrong but that could be a potential signal to the part of her that was axed to death (?). no idea if that's a good shout or not but it's what i first thought!

anyways! now we move onto her spectre design!

first of all, her spectre design eats. like just a personal side note, i love it. it's just so gorgeous and i don't care if she's terrifying to some because to ME? to me, she's my gorgeous little pookie who can scream and show people their worst fears and she looks amazing whilst she does it <3

ok anyways, actual design.

to first understand her design, i thought i'd show you what banshee's traditionally in folklore look like!

typically, they are described in two ways. the first way is a youthful women with long black hair, blue eyes and just super pale. this description could also lose the blue eyes and just keep the black hair– either way the first depiction of a banshee is a super young woman.

this is not the one we're focussing on today folks!

we're going to focus on the second depiction. a hag/ old woman, with red cheeks, a grey cloak and a green dress, often seen to be combing her hair. banshee's throughout folklore are known to wail, scream and cry when a family member had died. to most, the banshee was a sign that death was coming to your household and they are known in myths and folklore as a predictor of death.

now, hold onto the green dress and look at ada's design real quick for me.

here we see a lot of green, which yay! definitely shows signs it comes from the second depiction. i think, on top of it being a nod to the second depiction, i think it could also be an allusion to something else: jealousy.

green symbolism in media can often vary, from meaning new life, luck and also jealousy. and i think if we take in the things ada screams whilst in her spectre form, such as this from episode 82:

you see there definitely is some sort of jealousy there, but this isn't something i necessarily want to focus on, it's just an observation i made that may or may not be true!

anyways, to continue, i want to look at ada's outfit when she's a banshee. i'm going to basically be making my notes i took last night look nicer.

(keep in mind that when i wrote these, my ideas were literally bouncing off my brain and sometimes they're a bit contradictory, but i think that's the beauty of my crack theory analysis!)

i think the act of almost showing her bones to the outside, there's a level of rawness to ada we don't usually see. her spectre form essentially gives her the power to scream out her anger, and by seeing her bones it's almost as if to say this is the ada she doesn't show people. this is the ada that she keeps to herself because god forbid anybody love her (because in life and death it's become abundantly apparent to her that nobody does seem to love that ada).

but then, what i thought was also a super cool thing as how the bones almost act like a corset!

then i got sad because i looked at the bows, and because something dawned on me and it made me start to frown. there was a sad realization to me as i looked at ada's spectre design that even in this all powerful form, she hasn't lost her insecurities, they just become more prevellant. because for all of the traditional wrinkles, hag-like appearance a banshee is meant to have, ada barely has any.

obviously this could be in part to character design and stuff, and yeah probably– but let me be sad!

because ada carries her frills and bows from life here because she doesn't want to be ugly, she doesn't want to be this creeping monster who rips apart people. because if she's not got her intelligence or status or anything going for her, she has her appearance and by god she's not going to let that go to waste. so here her spectre form is, a banshee.

so what must ada do? she must takes her frills and keep her insecurities, her fears and her crippling need to be loved.

another aspect which is super interesting is the stitching on her body. one one hand, it could be an allusion to her violent death, suggesting the man she fell in love with didn't just stop at axing her once, but just kept on fucking going (which, you know: fuck you, whoever you are).

but on the other hand, it could be a metaphor for ada's thinly veiled facade she puts on of being a prim and proper lady (which we actually, interestingly enough, see she looses a lot the more time she spends with montresor– opting to take parts of his language like "ain't" and "beggin'". this sort of leads on from previous ideas people have made of ada willing to change herself to be loved. she swaps civility for the wild wild west all for a bit of love).

ada offers up parts of herself in this metaphor. that's what she always does. she offers herself to the rich man she fell in love with, she offers herself up to prospero (again, look at the. side note. bro wasn't wrong for rejecting her he literally can't like her) and she offers herself up to the acolytes and she fucking barks for them (because i'm not over that).

piece by piece, she strips away everything she is until she literally is just skin and bone. and once she's torn herself apart, she needs to stitch herself back together– because it's against the facade she's put on to look so broken and messy. and so she repeats the cycle again, giving more and more until she is literally hanging on by a thread.

her powers are also super cool. traditionally, as i said, banshees wail when a family member is soon to die/has died, and is often like an omen/predictor of death. so yeah, ada having a banshee scream makes sense. but the whole 'fear itself' is also super cool. i kind of like that she has this– because its sort of satisfying for her, the girl who's been pushed over but still comes running back, to watch as people become paralysed with fear. idk, retribution or whatever.

i'm going to leave you with this not very profound thing i wrote last night (and then just some other mumblings):

i think that although spectres are super powerful and also just a very fantastic concept, they're also fragile. spectres are quite literally the monster inside of you. yet here ada's monster is, and with all her bows and revamped dress of a banshee (or potentially an allusion to her life as a maid) she tries desperately to be anything but that. because to here it's ugly and it's too much of her on display. and with some much of you on display comes the very fear that if you are hated, disliked or something repulsive, you no longer have anything to blame on anybody else. you just have yourself to blame.

(as morella says here in episode 88).

i'm not saying ada isn't deeply flawed, because she is. she has so much fucking baggage and insecurities that they literally forbid her from doing the right thing sometimes. i don't think she's a good person, but i also think that she has the opportunity to be a good person/ do a semi-good/ non-bad thing, and all she has to do is take it. but i also think it's nice how that's shown in her spectre design.

and, you know, if none of this makes sense, that's also fine!

anyways, yeah. somebody tell me never to make a random analysis at night again because it's a bit of a bitch to translate in the morning.

#ada nevermore #nevermore webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #nevermore #ada #ada nevermore analysis #nevermore character analysis #character analysis #adas spectre #is that even how you spell it #anyways i love her for who she is #my precious little screaming meow meow #LMAO #ok idk what i'm talking about anymore LMOA #forgive if there are typos because at this point i am TOO TIRED to do anything about it

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ohnoitstbskyen · 10 months

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I just saw your aro video and in it you said you would like to be spared sympathy because it alienates aromatic people.

But when you described that in your video that's exactly the reaction I had and so I just needed to ask what's a way to process in solidarity when someone says they cannot feel that way?

(this is the video in question)

That's not... quite correct. What I was talking about there is the tendency of alloromantic people (i.e. people who do feel romantic attraction) to approach the aromantic experience from a place of pity.

So, I say "yeah I don't feel romantic attraction," and they respond with something along the lines of "oh that's such a sad thing, I'm so sorry you are missing out on this."

And that's... rather grating, because it treats me as though I am defective in some way, or as though I live through a human experience which is lesser, rather than simply different.

People respond to the idea of not feeling romantic attraction with confusion, disbelief, and incredulity, because culture teaches us that to live without romantic love is to be embittered, lonely, deprived, sad and miserable. And so people pity us, and express their sympathy in the same way you might express sympathy for a bereavement.

Now, the truth of course is that I do feel some longing, some sadness, and an internalized desire to be "normal," to have the same experience everyone else does. I absolutely do feel that I am missing out, that a part of what it means to be human is closed off to me.

But the source of those feelings is self-pity, the source of those feelings is self-hate and insecurity and a rejection of my own experience. When I feel those things, it's because I have internalized the idea that my experience is not normal, that there's something wrong with me which ought to be fixed.

It is miserable to feel that way. I hate feeling that way. Because the rational truth is that I am not broken, I am not abnormal, I am not deprived, I am simply living a different version of the human experience, and I get to have emotional connections and relationships that alloromantic people will never have access to, too.

It has taken me a lot of long, hard work to get to a point where I feel my aromantic nature in neutral terms, where it is not a good thing or a bad thing, but simply a thing. And every time people respond to me with pity, they cut at the foundations of all that work, and invalidate it.

But in answer to your question: All aromantic people are different, we all feel different ways about what it is like to be us. But when it comes to me at least, if you want to express your solidarity with my aromantic experience, treat it as though it is normal. If I tell you I am aromantic, react as though I've just commented on the weather, or told you what my favourite color is. Just accept it, and don't make a thing out of it.

You're more than welcome to ask questions, or be confused, and you have the right not to instantly understand things, but approach it from the presumption that even if you don't understand it, this is just a normal part of what it means to be human. Because it is.

#tb answers #aromantic #aspec #aro pride #aromantism

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aroaceleovaldez · 1 month

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thoughts on leo valdez? headcdanons? i

[stares at own url] ...I'll give you one for free, lol

Aro/ace Leo.... listen. He explicitly states that he plays up his false persona in aspects that he feels are lacking in his actual personality in an effort to make people like him more, and in his POVs we get a lot of him doing acknowledged-as-nonserious joke-flirting as part of his false persona. Guy who doesn't realize he's aspec trying to overcompensate for his lack of attraction by excessively hitting on people to hide that he doesn't feel attraction towards anyone? Him wondering if he's broken in a whole bunch of ways and trying to make up for it externally while having an identity crisis about that? Something something metaphor about him wondering if cause he's a Hephaestus kid he's a little too much like a machine/robot and can't feel love or The Right Emotions In General™ because of that cause he doesn't know about aspec stuff yet (or that he's autistic)? Can anyone hear me.

Related to that: Leo landing on Ogygia (island of unreciprocated love) and meeting Calypso, who (probably through love magic) actually seems to be attracted to him? And him trying to force himself to reciprocate because he figures that's just how it's supposed to go and maybe for once he's actually experiencing romantic love? And he's so desperate for someone to like him and to feel useful to someone (re: 7th wheel)? But it fizzles out almost immediately after they leave the island, because the heart-eyes wear off for Calypso, especially once she technically no longer needs him, and Leo can't keep up trying to make himself reciprocate (and can't keep up trying to put his mask back up for her, especially now that Calypso seems to actually care about it). I am literally always thinking about this.

Short king,,, I don't care what anybody says he is NOT 5'6" that is way too tall for him. My guy is 5'5" absolute maximum. I usually place him at 5'3". Tiny guy. Made of pipecleaners. Built like Bilbo Baggins...

I've mentioned it before in a couple of places (i know [here] at least) but I did not like his fake-out death in BoO. Also I'm just mad about his dropped character arc(s) in general. My ideal substitute is that instead of dying and being revived, Festus just crashes in the woods nearby and Leo has overexerted his powers too much a la Nico's shadow stuff and is nearly dead but once they get him to the infirmary he recovers and can start working on recovering from his whole depression arc too. Also maybe he loses a leg in the crash so he can match his dad just for funsies, and so that there's some amount of consequence to his sacrifice to make up for him not dying (not like in canon there were any consequences to him dying and being revived anyways...). Also something something accidental Hiccup HTTYD joke. Leo with a prosthetic is always fun. More Hephaestus kids with prosthetics.

I am very amused by the concept of Leo never having any romantic attraction to Hazel at all, possibly even negative romantic attraction once he finds out she dated his great-grandpa (especially since in canon like 90% of his thoughts about Hazel are just kind of appreciative and genuinely thinking she's really cool, if a little confusing at first), and Hazel pretty quickly gets over her side of things once she gets used to the fact that this is Definitely Not Sammy, he just Looks Like Sammy (and does not actually act like Sammy, that's just a fake persona that is eerily similar by coincidence. Real Leo is actually quite reserved and not so much of a vocal goofball most of the time). So they're just besties after their mutual weird Sammy vision and understanding the deeper sides to each other and are each other's person they're most comfortable letting their guard down around cause they've formed that level of trust. Except Frank's over in the corner seething cause he thinks this is a love triangle but he's the only one who thinks that. Leo just thinks Frank hates him for the general reasons he thinks everybody hates him (which is just an assumption he's kind of used to and expects from people, so he does not question it at all). Hazel knows Frank thinks Leo is trying to steal her from him but she's having trouble trying to keep the two of them from nearly killing each other. It's a very homestuck auspistice dynamic.

Leo and Frank eventually work out their stuff and become very good friends to meeee... let them bond over their mutual fear of fire and dead mom trauma! they have so many parallels and I want the two of them and Hazel to be a funky cute little trio!

Dragonkin Leo! That boy is a dragon!!!! I usually say his stuff is kind of spiritual origin (he doesn't really know how to explain it other than his soul is just a dragon) versus like Jason being a wolf therian with a more psychological origin (being raised by an immortal wolf pack rubbed off on him) (rip Piper being the only non-alterhuman in their trio LMAO). I imagine whatever type of dragon he is probably is very similar to Festus, which is part of why Leo clicks with Festus so quickly - he just sees himself in Festus and it's very comforting to him. He definitely makes himself some fun 'kin gear, like a nice weighted tail and wings and claws to try and help his phantom shifts feel a lil less wonky. Also him having dragon talon weapons just sounds cool. He also totally makes gear for any other alterhuman demigods.

#pjo #riordanverse #leo valdez #headcanon #headcanons #ah0yh0y #ask #long post //#alterhuman demigods

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aleakybiro · 11 months

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Aromantic ppl need so much more rep. Not just for themselves but like for the good of the world.

As a romantic asexual, figuring out what I am caused me a lot of stress at first. How could I ever have a relationship if I couldn't live up to the expectations of one? Long story short, that turned out to be a good thing bc realising your relationships can't be typical means that you have to define what they mean yourself, and that's honestly really freeing.

But what helped me get to that point was reading about things from the perspective of aro ppl. They won't have a partner in the typical sense so aros build their lives around their other relationships and passions.

And i think that's honestly so important. Even for allos, for everyone. Because we as a society place too much value on one type of relationship. People think being single means being alone. That if you're gonna live with someone they have to be a romantic/sexual partner. And like, why? Maybe it's fine for us to live with our friends if that's what feels better. Maybe you're not alone without a partner because you have friends and family who love you. Why does a partner even have to be romantic?

Point is, basing your plans on one person and making them the one to fulfill all your needs is pretty harmful. All the people in our lives, all the different relationships we have meet different needs and that brings balance. Your friends can be the most important relationships in your life. You can pour your passion into your hobbies and interests because aros aren't people without love. They have just as much love as anyone else, and that love is just directed more into other things.

This perspective changed my life. I'm closer to my friends. I don't obsess over romance anymore. There is so much meaning to what I have right now and I don't need romance, I'm in no rush anymore. And it's all cause aromantic people have the courage to come out and say "we can love, we do love. Look at how much love there is in the world."

So yeah, I think it would benefit so many people to see things this way. To see it in media instead of the main character always needing a love interest, instead of the kiss being this magical thing that fixes everything.

And also, rep for aros and aces shouldn't just be "oh this person is focused on their work so they're probably aro/ace". Rep should be people who are out, or an arc about their feelings towards sex/romance. Rep should be aces who aren't aro and vice versa. Cause the amount of difficulty it would have saved me if i'd just seen people like me a bit more. I want the younger aces to see themselves so they don't have to go through that same difficulty.

Anyways thanks for listening, happy pride! Love comes in many forms!

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #aromantic asexual #pride 2023 #ace #aro

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onesidedradiostatic · 3 months

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Alastor being AroAce has personally made me so happy. The fact that he's AroAce and just thinking about it makes me smile. I felt so seen when Rosie made that "ace in the hole" joke. I literally paused the episode to squeal over how Alastor's sexuality to be explicitly referenced the show. Viewers who had/have no idea that Alastor is AroAce probably took the joke another way or went right over their heads, but I feel like everyone who knew Alastor's orientation went "that's cause he's Asexual, ha!"

Even in the past Alastor's own sexuality made me wonder about my own and think "huh..am I like him?" when it comes to sex and romance. Now I feel more confident in who I am, and I'm happy that Alastor is a character that helped me be more comfortable in who I am. When it was confirmed to be Aromantic too along with still being 100% Asexual, that made me unbelievably happy and I didn't know why at first. I also love how a lot of fans, including the Hazbin Hotel team, fully respect Alastor's identity and how everyone here also respects the fuck out of his identity (and agree the best thing about RadioStatic is that it's completely one sided with Vox being pathetically in love)

I'm definitely somewhere on the aspectrum(s) and I can say with confidence that Alastor helped me discover that about myself. Happy Aromantic Week everyone!

FR the ace in the hole comment made me like so unbelievably excited. like it's such a small thing but it's also like so rare to find a media where it's acknowledged verbally in the media itself??? I'd started questioning being on the aroacespec before I started hazbin but I can definitely relate to fictional aro characters helping/kickstarting the questioning!! very glad alastor's helped for you!!! happy aro week :D

#ask #osrs.txt #aroace alastor #aromantic alastor #asexual alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #aromantic #aroace #asexual

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bloggingboutburgers · 3 months

Note

Just been going through your tumblr and think it's great 😊

Saw a little comic you did about what non ace/aro and ace/aro think rejecting someone romantically is like.

A great insight for all!

I think that will help a lot of people understand something that can be really emotionally charged.

I think people take the rejection personally when it really isn't about that.

I'm sorry you've experienced those thoughts and feelings.

I'm demi and have had close friends who I really believed were my friends then abandoned and even turned against me when they found out I wasn't interested in dating them.

Here's the thing, though: the right people, they won't think those things in that comic.

Don't believe me?

I can prove it!

Last summer, I was on the receiving end of the rejection. My friend isn't sure about his label or identity. From our hearts to hearts, I'd say he's ace or aro, but I was only made aware of this after I confessed romantic feelings and was rejected because he doesn't really feel attraction to anyone.

I can 100 percent say I did not think any of those things in your comic. Think they were:

‘Being friends isn't enough, will never go all the way, doesn't see me as worth more,can't really love me.’

Nope, nope, nope and nope.

I was a little surprised, I was a bit disappointed, but mostly I felt bad for making him feel uncomfortable. Because he is my friend, because I love him for who is, because I want to see him happy, because I know he deeply values me and our friendship.

We now understand each other much better, and are back to being our most silly goofy selves together.

I know he loves me as much as i love him. If that love is only ever platonic then that's fine, what matters is that it's there, it's honest and real. I asked to date him because I wanted more time with him, to find out more, to go deeper, and that is what we are doing as friends.

I understand we are the minority, but we work because with the right people, it just works.

I've discovered that by accepting and embracing who I am, I have attracted people into my life who fit, which is something I didn't believe was possible. It's not easy, I've done a lot of hurting and healing, but it's worth it for those real connections.

This was not meant to undermine the point of your comic, like I said, the majority of my experiences have been similar and I thought it was really helpful. But just a positive message to say, keep being you and the right people will find you along the way 👍

Thank you for sharing this!^^ Of course not everyone will take things that way, hopefully that's not the full takeaway people take from that comic of mine, and your story is proof that thankfully there's grounds for hope for everyone to find the right people... And by that I of course don't mean "right person" in an allo/amatonormative manner, but the right people to vibe with and be happy with in general, regardless of what the nature of their bond is.

Again thanks so much... Y'know, being how you are to your friend to begin with, and for the hopeful message^^

#anon #this is very nice #aromantic spectrum #asexual spectrum #unlabeled

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imagination-overreaction · 3 months

Text

More tf2 ships lets go

Soldier x Demoman / Boots n Bombs

Starting off with a Demoman ship cause this man does not get enough love I think. These two enable each other's stupidity to an incredible degree. They're both geniuses in the art of reckless stupidity, and with their brains and hearts combined they could be making new inventions like "ultra turbo sticky-nade launcherator" and it flings them 8 miles in the air and they die instantly (but they both cheer and think it's awesome once they're revived and they do it again. Medic doesn't care, but he's getting a bit bored of piecing together the same two bodies over and over again). These two would become masters of destruction. I also can imagine them passed out on the couch on top of each other, or Soldier waking up to do drills at 4 am and Demo telling him to fuck off (Soldier can't help it, his love language is explosives and boot camp </3). I like them a lot.

Scout x Sniper / Speeding Bullet

I will admit, I am a bit of a Scout hater when it comes to ships... Actually I'm just a Scout hater in general. However, I do think the dynamic of "annoying little shit" plus "gruff weird guy" works. Scout is the type to press his partner's buttons for the funnies (although he does this with his friends as well) but given how he was in Expiration Date as well as the Cold Day In Hell comic (if I remember right), then he would be genuinely caring and considerate toward his partner's feelings. Scout would push his buttons, but an hour later he'd be splayed out on top of Sniper and rambling about his day. Sniper is more blunt and to-the-point with affection, I think. He'd bother Scout right back, of course, and he'd just as happily sit there and nod along to whatever the hell Scout is talking about. These two would stay up until 5 am together several nights in a row.

Heavy x Pyro / Bear Grill

Since it's such a rare pair, there's some debate on what the ship name actually is. "Russian Wildfire," and "Heavy Fire" are the alternatives I've seen after scouring the tags. I'd like to toss my own suggestion in with "Firing Squad," although that could probably work for other ships too. I personally really like the hc that Pyro is (maybe aro?)ace, and I think that works well with Heavy (I also hc it/they Pyro but any pronouns work for this lil guy tbh). Heavy would support his little maniac's vested interest in fiery homicide just ignore the fact that he says he's scared of them in Meet The Pyro that's not important right now, and I think Pyro would really like watching Heavy use Sasha (the muzzle flash would be really neat in Pyro Vision). Outside of battle, I can imagine Heavy taking care of his guns while Pyro talks to him and tells a (very muffled) story. Heavy would listen to it when it talks about all the wonderful things it sees during their battles, and Heavy would maybe defend it when the other mercs start talking about how terrifying it is... Maybe. They're still very concerning.

Engineer x Heavy

There is no damn posts about this. "Heavy Metal" is a slightly popular one but "More Gun" has been suggested a lot, as well as "Mechanical Literature." I personally like More Gun(s), and I honestly really like this ship, and I feel like it works really well for the same reason that they both work well with Medic--they're both relatively calm and amicable compared to the rest of the team. I feel like Engie and Heavy would be the parents of the team, telling people to go to bed before 3 am and not to explode things in the house (it doesn't work but they can try) (and Engie probably has been the source of one or two fires but not necessarily on purpose). These two would be sickly together. Engie'd be going "good morning Misha 🥰✨" and tap Heavy's shoulder until he leans down far enough to let Engie kiss him on the cheek, and Heavy would give a quiet happy hum as Engie whistles away and they make me sick. I love them so much.

I also think that Engineer would give Heavy some absolutely monstrous artillery as a gift. They absolutely enable each other's horrific acts of bloodshed. More Gun <3

Part 1 - - Part 3

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acewithapaintbrush · 2 years

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I wish every closeted aro/ace person, who is constantly being pressured by family to finally get into a relationship, the same experience upon coming out that I've had with my mother:

Since the moment I entered the age where you are supposed to become interested (in my case) in boys, my mother had been a real bloodhound about it. Every boy that crossed my path was a potential boyfriend.

The older I got, the worse it got.

Some man asks me if I want to take turns on the equipment in the gym with him? "Ohhh, he was totally flirting with you! Go talk to him!"

A waiter is nice to me? "Did you see how he looked at you? Wasn't he awfully nice to you? I think he likes you!"

It never went farther than comments, but those were quickly becoming very annoying, especially since I had known for quite some time by then who I am.

One day, some years ago, we are watching TV and there is a lot of talk about sexuality and stuff and suddenly I'm like 'Fuck it' and turn to her and ask: "Do you know what asexuality is?"

"No."

So I explain it to her. How I don't feel any sexual attraction. How, for the longest time, I didn't even know what sexual attraction was supposed to be like, that I thought it was a fabrication of the media.

"I'm not interested in sex. Actually, I'm not interested in a relationship at all. That's arosexual. I have no desire for a partner. Having kids would be the worst thing that could happen to me. I'm happy alone and I want to stay alone."

"That's who I am."

And she sits there and listens to me and I don't even know what I expect. She is a loving and open minded mother, but for years her only goal seemed to have been getting me into a relationship.

So I watch and talk and she sits and listens and at the end of it she is like:

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I get it. I mean I always wanted family and kids. But that's me. I can totally understand not wanting any of that."

And while I'm still sitting there, not exactly shocked, but definitely pleasantly surprised by her easy acceptance, she goes on and on.

"Kids are hard work and they completely change your life and they are expensive. If you don't want any, you definitely shouldn't have any."

"I can see every day how happy you are with your life the way it is, and I'm really glad. There is nothing worse than wanting a relationship and not finding the right one. But there is also nothing worse than forcing yourself into a relationship just because you don't know how to be alone."

"Everyone should live the life they want. Isn't it great that you young people can do that now? Not even 50 years ago you had to be married, you couldn't even open a banking account without a husband! But today women don't need a man for anything!"

And the conversation just slowly peters off and it is finally done. From then on, I am known and understood.

And wouldn't you know it? The matchmaking completely stops. Not one more comment. Not a single one!

Going from a mother who couldn't ignore even the most vague interaction between me and a man without making a comment, to a mother who never brings anything like that up again, was quite jarring, to say the least.

But very appreciated.

Some weeks ago we once again (as we sometimes do) get to talking about this and I'm like "I was actually kinda surprised how well you took it. I expected more of a pushback."

"What? Why would you think that???"

And I'm incredulous, because "You spent YEARS throwing every man who so much as looked a little too long at me my way, insisting that every smile and glance meant that they were flirting with me. And you ask me why I thought you would take my complete disinterest in a relationship badly?"

And my mother sits up straight and grows very serious and says with conviction:

"I only did that because I couldn't understand how you never noticed the attention you were getting!"

"Huuh?"

"Boys and men would flirt with you and you never noticed! Never! And I thought, how can she not notice? It's so obvious! It was driving me crazy!"

"Let's ignore the part where I still don't think smiling and being nice equals flirting… You're telling me that you were only constantly pointing these things out to me, because you thought I was being an oblivious idiot and you needed to… help me?"

"Pretty much, yeah." She doesn't even sound sorry. "How was I supposed to know that you actually weren't interested at all? I just thought you were being dumb and not picking up on some veeeeery obvious signs. Of course I had to help my little dummy."

So, to make my long story short: Her comments were never meant to pressure me into a relationship because she thought that's the only way to live your life. She simply thought her daughter was an oblivious idiot.

I wish you all parents like my mother. Whose weird matchmaking is just an expression of their belief that you are hopelessly unaware of social and romantic cues and that you idiot need all the help you can get, but who, upon learning the truth, will accept you for who you are and will be proud of the person you are.

#aro/ace #aroace #asexual #ace pride #asexuality #arosexual #coming out story #This is very personal but I've wanted to put it into words for a while now and finally managed #Thanks for your attention

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raavenb2619 · 7 months

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Does coming out lead to too much focus on labels?

(I don't really have a main thesis I'm trying to convince anyone of, I just had a thought and wondered what other people thought.)

When I had recently figured out I was ace/aro/nonbinary, I really cared about finding the right labels for me. And the aspec community in particular has so many unique perspectives and labels that you can apply to yourself. What kinds of attraction do you feel, how do you label your orientations and attractions, what model do you use to think about attraction, how do you think about relationships, how do you feel about sex/romance/relationships, etc. It was super eye opening to learn about lots of different terms, and different ways of thinking about things, and things I'd never even thought about or thought I even could think about, and I ended up applying lots of labels to myself.

But, it's been many years since then, and over time I've grown less interested in applying specific labels to myself. I'm still queer/ace/aro/trans/nonbinary/polyam, but I don't really use other labels. (And depending on the situation, I might end up omitting labels when vagaries work fine.) That's not to say that I don't have affinity with other labels, whether that's "I'm similar to what this label describes" or "this label provides an interesting perspective that I like", I just...don't use other labels to define my identity. If I'm comfortable enough talking about something that I could use a label for, I'll just describe my experiences directly, instead of saying "I'm [blank]".

And, I wonder if that shift from specificity to vagary has to do with coming out. For a young aroace like me, part of why coming out was so nerve-racking was that I felt like I had to prove that my identity was real, and having specific labels I could point to and say "look, this is real, I'm not making this up, other people are like this too" was super helpful. But, it's been many years since I've come out, and I'm more confident and know who I am, and that insecurity that I fought back with fistfuls of labels and well-rehearsed explanations is gone. (With the potential exception of QPR-related discussions, which feel kind of like coming out again; I might make a post about that some time if people are interested.)

Every time I've ever come out, or seen someone come out in real life or in media, it's always been "I'm [blank]", but I've never seen someone come out as "I'm not cis/straight". It's always a declaration that you are a specific thing, never a statement that you aren't something someone thought you were. I remember really wanting to make sure I knew exactly what I was and didn't come out as one thing and then change my labels later, because it would mean I'd have to come out again and it would be embarrassing that I got things wrong and maybe people would start to doubt me and not believe me when I said I was something in the future. But, people don't have to be a fixed, immutable set of labels forever; I'm comfortable with using vague labels for myself and letting myself be vague and nebulous and fluid without frantically trying to label every single part of myself. (And, in fact, I did technically get my labels slightly wrong the very first time I came out, and everything turned out okay in the end.)

So, maybe coming out puts an undue pressure on finding specific labels and making sure they're exactly right; maybe coming out should also be able to be "I'm not cis/straight". What do people think?

(This is not to say that specific labels are bad, because they can often be very helpful! Specific labels were helpful for me when I used them, and their existence can spark conversations and lead to new perspectives and learning. Even as I'm finding vagueness and nebulousness to be better for me right now than specific detailed labels, other people can be finding that specific detailed labels give them a sense of belonging and community and identity. But, I still wonder if coming out placed an undue burden on younger me to find all the right labels when vagueness could have worked just as well.)

#i had a random thought and i decided that i should post it and see if people had thoughts #gonna try to do this more i think #since i randomly have queer thoughts that i'd be interested to discuss with others #my thoughts #queer #lgbtq #original #aspec #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #nonbinary #trans #enby #transgender

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