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#petty jason is so fun
gilbirda · 10 months
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Danny is the rightful Ghost King, but since he's not of age he needs a regent who is a) his species, b) his family, and c) an adult. The only adult haftas are Vlad or this Red Hood guy from Gotham that he's never heard of. Since Vlad is not going to happen looks like it's Red Hood, now how to make the guy count as family...
Jason has had a lot of weird shit happen to him over the years but a woman tracking him down as Red Hood to propose a temporary political marriage so he can be regent of a death dimension until her brother is old enough to rule in his own name is a new one for him. Of course he accepted. The only other option was apparently a creepy uncle figure. He's read enough romance to know a forced marriage of a woman to her creepy uncle never ends well. A forced marriage of a woman to a crime lord doesn't usually end much better, but he's ignoring that for now. He's going to woo and romance his spit fire of a wife with respect, spontaneous poetry, his damn good cooking, and by not being a Darcy. And he is going to rock not just this whole regent thing, but also and more importantly the mentoring her brother and his new ward on how to rule this dimension. Competence is always attractive. He runs a tight ship in his crime empire, surely running a dimension can't be that much harder.
He actually already has a plan on how he's going to handle the whole 'The USA declared war on the dimension he's regent of' thing. It's simple really he goes to the next family dinner and causes chaos. The faces everyone will make will be glorious when he drops that he's lord regent of a dimension, the USA is at war with his dimension, and it's such a shame that no one can meet Jason's wife or ward till there is a peace treaty. Then he just needs to sit back and watch the entertainment as his siblings realize he has forever won the position of favorite child by being the first married and first to give Bruce a grandkid. Also you know the chaos of Bruce willing to wage a one man war if necessary so he can meet his grandson. Jason figures it will take at most a month for the government to cave.
And like a cherry on top he's going to get on a medical treatment plan for the pit. Everything is looking great for him.
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nicos-oc-hell · 1 year
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IDENTITY
Full name: Jason Ayas Perphyra
Nicknames: creature whisperer, elfie, mini Ayas
Date of birth: February 29th, 1904 (Celebrates on March 1st as he was born at 10pm)
Gender: Male
Sexuality: straight
Blood status: half-blood
Ethnicity/Race: Caucasian
Nationality: Scottish
MAGIC & HOGWARTS
House: Ravenclaw
Species: Elven and Werewolf (turned when he was 14)
Wand: English oak wood, phoenix feather core and 13 inches
Quidditch: beater
Prefect: 4th-7th
APPEARANCE AND VOICE
Faceclaim: Younger: Maxwell Jenkins Older: Joseph Morgan
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Height: 5’9
Hair color: White
Hair style:
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Eye color: Light green
Skin tone: Beige
Scars: Just the bite from when he was 14
Modifications: A sword down his back
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Distinguishing marks: his white hair
Clothing style:
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Voice claim: Joseph Morgan
Languages understood: English, Arabic and Elvish
Languages spoken: English and Arabic
PERSONALITY
Favorites:
Color: Orange
Food: Oranges
Weather: Sunrise
Books: anything to do with creatures
Hobbies: Maintaining creatures needs, reading and annoying his girlfriend at any chance he gets
Dislikes: the color red and tomatoes
RELATIONSHIP
Father: Ayas Perphyra
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Mother: Cassandra Salas
Pet: Black husky
Siblings: if your oc wants more children, I’m very open to him having siblings
S/O: Yasmine Shadid
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Children:
Viktor Perphyra
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Friends:
Israel Rodriguez
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Mateo “Rusty” Rodriguez
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FACTS
A demon with an angels face
Introvert
Pessimist
Overachiever
Hates spicy food but will tolerate it for Yasmine
Likes to randomly turn into his wolf form to mess with people
Strongest connection with mother nature and her inhabitants in his family tree overall
The most irresponsible responsible person you will probably ever meet
He refuses to admit he’s wrong
Even more of a dickhead when he’s right
The most unhealthy coping mechanism of adopting new creatures every time he is upset
Broke into the ministry once or twice
The law? What’s that?
Stole a lot of artifacts from the ministry and pawned them off in Knockturn alley
Snuck out of hogwarts on numerous occasions
Has somehow managed to bribe the spider and centaurs in the forest to keep quiet about him being in there
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kreerain · 3 months
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I want to read more fics that address his time in Robin training with Bruce and Dick, Jason, and/or Damian find out.
Like, they're all sitting around talking about fun or silly things that happened in training or on patrol with Batman. And Tim is just doing his thing, reminiscing about pictures he took of Dick’s and Jason's Robin, wondering if he could take time off somewhere to get some of Damian's Robin when the others get his attention and ask about funny stories from his time as Robin. He blanks, because nothing with Batman was fun, that was why he was Robin. So he says Lady Shiva getting him ice cream once and leaves.
Or they're going over protocols for Robin to follow with Damian and Tim is just sitting there confused, because it's all stuff he got in trouble for with Batman. And when Dick or Jason tell him that “you can jump in anytime, baby bird”, Tim gets up, leaves, and returns with a surprisingly worn binder he puts down.
Then he opens it, flips to a point about a third of the way through, and turns it to face them. He points at a chart and says, “I made this when the results of your advice weren't what you said they'd be. I didn't know you were supposed to wait 3 days after fear gas exposure to go back out. Bruce didn't wait and if I didn't follow, petty thieves ended up in the ER.”Dick is horrified, Jason and Damian confused. Tim continues. “This binder has the protocols and methods I followed as Robin. I wasn't Robin to contrast Batman's shadow. I was Robin to remind Batman of his morals. I have no advice to offer Damian that is relevant to his Robin. You were offered Robin, one way or another. I had to take Robin before Batman did something he'd regret.”
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tenpintsof-sundrop · 1 month
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Hii !! From the smut prompts (stop rolling your eyes, I know Im predicatable!) could I request "Accidentally Sending Nudes", "Sexting" and... a secret third thing (the choice is yours, go hogwild) for Jason x Fat Fem Reader? I'm leaning more towards sub!reader but shes def a little shit about it :3
Thank you in advance if you write it !! 🌼
See, this is why it pays to send in a request with me, because even if I don't answer it right away, I keep requests in my inbox for months and come back to them later!!! (This is from December 2023)
(Also this request is just plain fun) (because Star knows exactly what buttons to push to get me lmao)
DC Titans Requests - OPEN
How would Jason react to you accidentally sending him a nude?
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(Jason Todd x Fem!Thick!Reader)
Warnings: set specifically in the Titans!verse - set during season 3/mentions of season 3 plot points; spoilers for major plot points of Titans (including character deaths on the show); this is kind of enemies to lovers? (enemies to fwb, I guess); the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; the reader is described as being fat/plus sized; passing mentions of Gar x reader (I couldn't help myself); dubious consent - because of the nature of the trope, Jason sees the reader naked without her explicit consent, and he decides to keep the picture without her consent - but it does spark a consensual sexual relationship between them; passing mention of using nudes for blackmail (that does not happen); this isn't really proofread; (generally, I consider this post to be a fucking mess because it was written in Tumblr but I was still trying to have fun with it lmao.)
...
Jason is minding his own business when it happens.
(For once in life, he is fully, completely, minding his own business.)
He's back in Gotham and he hasn't seen you in months - and if asked, he would say that he hasn't thought about you. He doesn't have time to think about you because he's been too busy with this therapy bullshit, training, trying to get back his title of Robin. Trying to get back in the cape. (And trying to get back in Bruce's good graces.)
But that's not exactly true. He's thought about you a lot.
(Most of those times have been with his hand around his cock, but again - he won't admit that.)
There is an occasional time that you cross his mind and it's because he's wondering genuinely how you're doing - wondering if you're well, how your training is going, wondering if you're doing okay under the Dickhead's reign. But he can't ever pluck up the courage to text you and simply ask. Because that would be admitting that he cares, and that would make him look like a weak little prick.
And that's why he's so damn surprised when you text him first.
He hasn't heard from you since he left the Tower (well, since he stormed away from Donna's funeral in what you called a 'toddler fit' - something that ended in a rather vicious text argument between the two of you). In fact, the last thing in the text history between the two of you is you calling him a 'giant, petty, whiny baby who can't deal with his own emotions'.
(You had no clue what had happened between him and Rose, so that did inform a lot of your opinion on the matter.) (And that was probably the reason why Rose still had all of her teeth after you had seen her at the funeral.)
But all of that was aside from the point.
The point being - Jason found himself smiling when your contact name popped up on his phone.
He has you in his phone as 'Pretty Girl' - along with a contact picture of you sticking your tongue out at him in response to having his phone shoved in your face with the knowledge that he was taking a picture of you. (That tongue always makes him think certain things, so even though you intended for it to be some rude thing to ruin the picture, it makes it so much better for him.)
(1) new photo
That instantly catches Jason's attention.
Perhaps you were sending him a picture just to flip him off, or sending him a picture of a dumpster to ask him if it reminded him of home - a common joke you used to make when he still lived at the Tower.
Jason grabbed his phone and opened the message, expecting another tired joke, and-
Holy fuck.
The last thing he was expecting - your naked body. Your gorgeous naked body.
(He likely would have expected a nuclear blast or for the Joker to clean up his act and actually become a decent, sane citizen before he expected this to happen.)
Jason brought his phone closer to his face, making the picture full screen in order to examine it better - he needed to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating, or that this wasn't some weird dream. But fuck, he definitely wouldn't be able to dream up this.
You were so perfect - so fucking perfect in a way that was so very real.
The picture was a fucking stunning side profile of your body - rolling curves, lacy underwear that could clearly barely contain your impressive hips with sweet little stretch marks jutting out from the fabric (jagged little marks across the softness of your skin that made Jason want to act up) - soft fat for him to grab onto, and the perfect teardrop shape of your breast, now bared to his eye in a way that he had only dreamt of before. Something that he had stared at through the oversized tee shirts you wore to bed without a bra, just wondering what you looked like underneath.
And fuck, this was so much better than anything he could have dreamt up.
Jason's cock began to harden almost instantly, and laying in bed, he reached over to his nightstand for some lube, ready to milk that picture for all it was worth, when-
His phone buzzed again.
Pretty Girl: 'Delete that.'
Jason hadn't even considered that you had sent it to him by mistake. He had been far too busy enjoying to even consider the intention or the psychology behind it.
So, he took his hand off the waistband of his sweats and texted back the first thing that came to mind.
'No.'
(He didn't hear your annoyed growl on the other end, frustrated at his downright typical Jason behaviour.)
'It's not my fault you made a dumbass mistake. Besides, it's the least I get after all the nagging from you.'
Then, something else came to mind as the bubbles popped up, meaning you were busy formulating a reply - an annoyed one, no doubt.
'Who did you mean to send it to anyway? Who are you fucking whose name starts with J that's not me?'
(You hesitated.)
Pretty Girl: 'I didn't type in J.'
'???'
Pretty Girl: 'I typed in G. And it turns out the first contact that popped up was Giant Baby. That's you.'
Jason felt annoyed and insulted on all levels. The fact that you were going to Tiger Boy for dick instead of him, and the fact that you had used such a mocking contact name for him. But when he realised that such a pathetic string of events had caused him to accidentally see you naked, he couldn't be too upset.
'I'm still keeping the picture 😈'
Pretty Girl: 'You're such an asshole' Pretty Girl: ... Pretty Girl: 'You owe me one'
'Fine, I'll owe you one'
Jason shrugged it off, thinking he had won, until -
Pretty Girl: 'No, you owe me a cock.'
This made Jason's stomach jump. You couldn't possibly mean-?
Pretty Girl: ... Pretty Girl: 'You owe me a picture of your dick. You know - an eye for an eye type stuff.'
Jason wanted to ask questions - what did you plan to do with the picture? Should he shave his balls first? Did you want more than one?
But his cock got even harder at you asking for a picture, at you demanding to see his cock, and he couldn't properly think - he couldn't even reason that you might later blackmail him with the picture.
No, instead, he found himself ripping down his pants and turning on the bedside lamp for good lighting, pumping himself up to peak rigid hardness and grasping the base of his cock in hand. And then, without hesitation, he snapped a picture for you. He made sure to get his abs in the photo - a collection of his best assets, with his pants pulled down to mid-thigh, showing off his tight stomach, the deep V leading down to his dick, and his thick seven inch cock in hand surrounded by some well-kept dark pubic hair.
(He was proud of it - and that ego was one of the things that annoyed you most about him.)
He sent it without hesitation and then you began typing several times and stopped once again. Jason's stomach churned with nerves until -
Pretty Girl: 'Fuck you' Pretty Girl: 'I thought it would be smaller'
Jason had no clue how to respond to that, and he was busy racking his brain for some clever reply, when -
Oh. Oh fuck.
(1) new photo
You had sent him another picture. And this time it was definitely on purpose.
It was a view between the plump, beautiful thickness of your thighs - your hand was inside the pretty lace of those panties, and your fingers were visible working on your clit while your needy hole dripped wetness onto the fabric.
So you had liked what you had seen.
Pretty Girl: 'What would you do if you were here right now?'
Jason's brain short-circuited then. He thought of so many things - eating your pussy until you screamed, flipping you onto your stomach and fucking you until you begged him to stop, gripping onto those gorgeous thighs, pinning them to your chest and pounding into your cunt until you finally surrendered and said that you had liked him all along, fucking your smart little mouth to finally shut you up-
Pretty Girl: 'Come on, Jay. Don't disappoint me.'
Oh, he won't.
(Another thing Jason won't admit - he came back to the Tower just for you.)
...
DC Titans Masterlist
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brucewaynehater101 · 27 days
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AU - Ra's al Ghul being a grandfather to all of the Wayne kids
During their ongoing petty battles, Tim makes the mistake of calling Ra's "grandpa" as an insult. He meant it as a term to call the man old.
Ra's did not take it this way.
After being called "grandpa" by his rival/desired heir (pt. 3), he starts to wonder if all of Bruce's kids consider him to be their grandfather (they do not).
Cue Ra's al Ghul picking up grandparent guidebooks and trying to implement the advice. Because he's so out of touch with reality and society (he's a 600 year old assassin cult leader), he doesn't implement them correctly.
His go to method for hangouts with any of the Wayne kids is kidnapping. They don't know he's just trying to spend time with them. There's a ton of miscommunication.
Ra's quickly learns that if he has grandfather-grandchild time with Damian by himself, the Waynes.... overreact (they're not overreacting. They think Ra's is kidnapping Damian for some nefarious plot). Ra's then starts kidnapping Damian with one of his siblings for group hangouts.
He also will have grandfather-grandchildren days when Talia visits Bruce. He wants them to be able to spend time without the kids interrupting (even if the kids are in another country from Bruce, Ra's still kidnap them. Talia is also going to Bruce to beat him up for Damian instead of a date. Ra's thinks it's just their relationship dynamic).
The old man also spends a lot of time debating what makes someone a Wayne kid. Bruce's adoption habit makes this needlessly more difficult. He eventually lands on only considering those Damian claims as his siblings as his grandchildren.
It gets to the point that Ra's al Ghul even starts lecturing Bruce when he's being an ass to the grandkids.
How Ra's spoils his grandkids:
Damian - Ra's sets up a bunch of animal sanctuaries around the world. He takes the kid to all of them and seriously implements all of his ideas. He also sends him expensive, rare art supplies that can double as weapons (Damian thought the paints doubling as poison were fun to use).
Jason - The Outlaws get access to a bunch of weapons and gear. He also occasionally provides assistance or information.
Tim - Ra's doesn't do anything different. They already "hang out" a ton when Tim is in a petty and vindictive mood (Tim tries to fuck up Ra's day and the ancient bastard sees it as a bonding activity).
Cass - Ra's, after seeing that Cass sometimes experiences issues communicating with civilians, starts funding organizations that increase accessibility. He also attends every single recital she has.
Duke - Ra's provides access to his research material so that Duke might be able to find a way to help his parents. He also buys him really expensive glasses and blackout curtains to help with his migraines
Steph - The old man will gift wrap people who were shitty to Steph so that she can beat them up or get revenge. Her many hobbies (gaming, gymnastics, music, etc.) get funded as well.
Dick - Ra's either kidnaps Dick with a sibling he hasn't seen for a bit (allowing Dick to have quality time), or he'll enforce self care days for the acrobat.
Barbara - She is helped by the same organizations that help Cass, but Ra's usually just provides her with information the Birds of Prey can use.
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solar-wing · 15 days
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⚣ 5+1: TikTok Trends 🤳🏽
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⚣🤳🏽 A/N → I kept seeing all these couple trends on TikTok and it made me think of how Jason would react to these very same trends with his boyfriend...so I wrote it. tee hee WARNINGS: established relationship | social media trends | relationship goals | fluff/comfort | jason's had enough |
⚣🤳🏽 Summary → Five times Y/N did a social media trend/prank on Jason and the one time the vigilante finally got his boyfriend back.
⚣🤳🏽 Words → 3.7K
REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛
⚣ ENJOY 🤳🏽
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Social media is an interesting thing with a variety of uses. You could use it to connect with old friends from high school and college, remembering the good ole days. It could be a place to connect with other people in specific communities so individuals could find those they related to and shared similar views and interests with. More than ever, it could be used to spread activism and political messages.
For Y/N L/N, it was a place for him to display his loving and chaotic relationship with his boyfriend Jason Todd.
They both had very different relationships with social media.
Y/N was a whirlwind of hashtags and filters, a living embodiment of the digital age. His phone was an extension of his hand, scrolling through endless videos and GRWMs where they were always running late for whatever they were getting ready for.
The boy took his college studies seriously, but the thought never not crossed his mind that he could become a full-time content creator if he wanted to. Ask any of his friends or especially his boyfriend, the dude was a walking meme who kept hundreds to thousands of reaction pictures and videos on his phone which is something he successfully managed to get his boyfriend addicted to as well.
No seriously, it had gotten so bad that Bruce had to reach out to Y/N to see if he could get Jason to stop or at least delete the photos from his phone. Apparently, in their family group chat, his boyfriend had taken to sending some very targeted and specific images.
It was fine until Bruce said something about Jason being reckless or something and risking lives, and his boyfriend responded with some interesting images and a very petty caption.
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Jason: this u?
It was safe to say Bruce was less than amused, though apparently everyone else found it hilarious. But, sadly Y/N had to inform the billionaire that he wouldn’t be able to get his boyfriend to stop even if he tried and that he was also a victim of this new ordeal.
Bruce was confused until Y/N showed him a picture Jason sent him after Y/N refused to come cuddle him because he was studying for a midterm.
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Jason: get ur ass in here now or else...respectfully
This was the exact fun and chaotic energy Y/N wanted to share with the world on social media and TikTok. But, Jason had a different relationship with it than his boyfriend.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, Jason was a firm believer in a simpler existence, preferring face-to-face conversations over likes and retweets. He possessed a refreshing aversion to the constant buzz of notifications and the pressure to document every meal or outing.
His only exception was Twitter, where he could voice his unhinged and questionable thoughts freely without raising suspicion or judgment because it was…well, it was Twitter. 
However, that did not stop Y/N from using his poor and innocent lover in his little TikTok exploits when he wanted to.
The first one was something innocent, at least in his eyes. He and Jason were in their shared apartment near Y/N’s campus. They were lying together on the couch, with Y/N parallel to the piece of furniture while Jason sat up properly with his boyfriend’s legs over him.
He was silently reading a book while Y/N pretended to scroll through social media, fidgeting now and then when Jason would accidentally tickle his feet while unconsciously rubbing his feet. Then, the sneaky little man would pull up an audio from TikTok of a man’s voice, talking as if they were on a Facetime call.
At first, Jason didn’t think anything of it when he heard the ring from his boyfriend’s phone and he knows that he frequently calls his parents or friends. Besides, Jason knows almost everyone that Y/N knows so it definitely wasn’t out of the ordinary.
So why the fuck did he not recognize that voice that was speaking on the other end of Y/N’s phone? More than ever, why was it male?! The second he heard the random male voice ask his boyfriend why he was smiling like that, the phone was snatched out of his hand and Jason was prepared to threaten extreme bodily harm to whoever was on the other side of that phone.
So imagine his confusion when was looking back at himself.
When he noticed the recording button at the bottom, he looked toward his boyfriend who was trying his best to hold in his laughs and was doing a terrible job. Y/N made sure to snatch his phone back though so Jason couldn’t delete the footage.
Jason allowed it though despite his annoyance, seeing Y/N happy and laughing always trumped over any negative feelings he was experiencing. However, he did give his boyfriend a nice gentle lesson about what happens when he plays with the vigilante’s jealous side.
It ‘twas not gentle though, not one bit.
And Y/N was a little fucker who never learned his lesson. Proud of it too.
The second time wasn’t even a week later after he’d seen a new trend going around the clock app that he just knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.
“Might be a little bit controversial but get ready with me while I give you my reasons on why cheating on your significant other is okay in certain scenarios.”
In under 5 seconds, the bathroom door shot open after the apartment sounded like a large predator had come running through it. Judging by the very unamused look Y/N was receiving, it may have been just that.
Y/N had to do his best not to laugh (or moan) at the image on his phone’s screen of a hulking, pissed-off Jason standing over him as he watched his skincare in silence. He knew his followers were going to get a kick out of this, probably detailing the filthiest things their horny little minds could cook up in his comment section like the little horny bastards they were.
Though, Y/N would be no better.
Jason still didn’t say anything, continuing to stare down at him like an angry parent who’d just been embarrassed in church by their child.
“Um, can I help you?” Y/N asked, desperately holding back the smile pulling at the corner of his lips.
Jason’s dark hair fell over his forehead, his white streak hanging lazily between as his eyes narrowed down at his smaller boyfriend, his large, intimidating arms crossed over his chest. Y/N had to take a large breath to calm down the fluttering in his stomach.
Why did his boyfriend have to be so hot? The world was not fair.
When Jason continued to not say anything, just staring silently at his lover, Y/N decided to finish his skincare in silence while checking to make sure his video was still recording.
When about five minutes passed and neither of the boys said anything, the taller and larger male started to become slightly confused. Why wasn’t Y/N saying anything? He wasn’t crazy, knowing exactly what he heard until a lightbulb went over his head and he realized what was going on.
Once Y/N finished patting his face with sunscreen, he looked up to his boyfriend to see him with a now slightly less peeved expression and more of a smug, amused look.
“What?”
“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”
“I think I’m quite hilarious actually.”
Jason didn’t say another word before turning on his heel, slowly walking out of the bathroom back towards the kitchen with that damn slutty walk of his. Seriously, why was the universe so unfair to Y/N? Then again, he definitely wasn’t complaining.
But, just because Jason realized what was going on didn’t mean he was going to just let the harmless prank go so easily. Y/N would be reminded once again how petty his boyfriend could be in the worst ways possible.
There really should be a hotline or emergency number for guys whose boyfriends decide to tease and edge them for over an hour. These crimes should not go unchecked!
Anyways…Y/N still didn’t learn his lesson. Third time’s a charm.
By this time, Jason had become well aware that Y/N would not stop using him in his little videos and pranks, so he figured if you can’t beat em, join em. He got his own TikTok account and only followed his boyfriend while also doing his best to keep up with whatever trends were going around, especially with couples so he could stay one step ahead.
This proved very useful, as when the ‘Water’ song by Tyla became a trend all over TikTok, Jason was more than aware of what his boyfriend was trying to do when he noticed from the corner of his eyes him recording him, pretending like he was just watching the videos.
Ah ah ah, gonna have to try harder than that, babe. Jason didn’t even budge like he was going to look, not like he would’ve either way.
But, he was NOT prepared to come home one day to find his boyfriend with his tripod set up, starting the countdown timer to record a video. The second the video started recording and Jason realized what song was playing, he didn’t waste a second before running and tackling Y/N out of the camera view before he could even hit the first beat.
He didn’t care if he fell for that one, those moves were for Jason’s eyes only. Something else the vigilante was going to have to remind his boyfriend about.
But, at least when Y/N looked at the footage, he realized he finally had something to post for that trend where people ran and tackled their significant others to that Barbie Girl remix. He’d always wanted to do that trend but hadn’t met Jason yet, so he was a bit too single to do it.
The fourth time was something also a little bit simple, less of a prank and more of Y/N just being a little shit that went looking for trouble.
When Jason was once again in the kitchen cooking, with his usual tank-top and jogger combo, Y/N thought it a perfect opportunity for him to get some revenge on his boyfriend since the gargantuan male always found it funny to slap Y/N on his butt hard as shit. Vengeance was needed.
So, when Jason wasn’t looking, Y/N walked into the kitchen positioning his phone in another spot so it could see the entire action, knowing if he tried to be sneaky, the vigilante would still catch on to him and turn around. He walked up behind him and gave his boyfriend a little hug as usual and a kiss on his back, something the towering male pretended not to be giddy at.
However, his sweet, tender moment was interrupted when he felt a medium-palm land on his ass with a precision aim, leaving a tingling sting behind.
“Payback!” Y/N decreed, already turning around and running for their shared room.
When he went back and looked at the footage later, he had to admit, the view of Jason turning around slowly as Y/N scurried away was very amusing. Especially considering he layered the video with the Wii Sports fencing music as his mammoth-sized man stalked after him like a predator cornering its prey.
His vengeance did not last long.
By this time, Jason had become somewhat of a regular presence on Y/N’s TikTok account, and all of his followers wanted more content with the two of them together.
So, after a long time coming, Y/N had managed to successfully convince Jason to do a video with him on camera. They decided to do the Alphabet challenge, something Y/N thought he’d have an easy win at.
He was not prepared for his boyfriend's extensive vocabulary. “Are you ready to start, honey?” Y/N started sneakily, thinking his boyfriend wouldn’t catch it.
“Bet you thought you were slick, huh?” Jason replied with his usual smug look.
“Can you be any less smug?” Y/N said with a playful eye roll.
“Don’t act like you don’t like it.”
At that point, it was almost like they weren’t even doing a challenge, but rather doing their usual relationship banter back and forth that just happened to be getting recorded. The longer it went on, the more chaotic it became, both boyfriends pulling the absolute wildest sentences they could think of out of their mouths to throw the other ones off.
“Suck my ass.”
“Turn around”
He’d also underestimated Jason’s lack of shame and vulgarness.
“Explain how you get a body like that?”
“From fucking whiny little pretty boys like you.”
Oh.
Yeah, he should’ve thought this one through a little more.
They’d managed to go through the whole alphabet at least three times, going from bantering back and forth to Y/N reciting lines from movies he could both think of, to Jason reciting lines from some of his favorite books. The smaller man at some point figured he could start using lines from pop culture and trends to throw his colossal boyfriend off. However, he was absolutely not prepared for him to quote the Rachel voicemail, word for word, knowing how much that whole message always made him weak.
“This is for Rachel you big, fat, white, nasty-smelling fat BITCH.”
Why did he have to put so much emphasis on the ‘bitch’ part? He threw in the towel there and let Jason have it, swearing victory on their next face-off.
Now, Y/N didn’t think it would go any farther than that. He figured he would keep making videos pranking Jason and that now and then, the vigilante would begrudgingly join in.
Oh, he was wrooong…
Frankly, Y/N should have known Jason was playing a prank on him the second he called him by his actual name instead of one of his pet names. The vigilante always got upset at him when he used Jason’s actual name instead of babe, baby, Jaybirdie, love, or even just simple Jay.
So, when Jason was not only calling him by his name but refusing to touch and or kiss him at all. Y/N absolutely should have figured something was up.
When Jason got over his initial awkwardness of physical touch in their relationship, that meant became a touch-clingy animal. Whether a hug, hand holding, cuddling, or even simple finger grazes, he needed them all. And kissing, if Y/N ever even dared leave their bedroom, let alone their apartment without giving his giant teddy bear of a boyfriend a kiss, he basically committed the ultimate sin.
So, imagine his surprise when he wakes up and leans over to give his Jaybirdie his kiss, and the big lug rolls over to the other side of the bed before his lips can even get close. Never mind the fact that he woke up and Jason was not cuddling him, hugging, or even just touching him for the matter.
But, he figured Jason was just out of it, discombobulated after waking up or something, and needed a moment. Then, when he was getting ready for his classes and making breakfast, Jason came out and Y/N plated his food for him while grabbing some juice from the fridge.
“Thanks, Y/N.”
Immediate strike two.
Y/N immediately turned around to his lover who was slowly eating his food, rather than inhaling it like he usually does which is why Y/N always has to make extra because the man is still hungry after the first plate. He gave him a weird look and just shrugged it off like he was hearing things, continuing to fill up the glass of juice before handing it over to the vigilante.
“Thanks, Y/N.”
There it was again. Okay, so he wasn’t imagining shit.
And, now that he was thinking about it, Jason was acting really weird. He didn’t come in and hug from behind like he does when Y/N is cooking. He hasn’t made one lewd sexual joke all morning. Heck, he’s barely looked towards the smaller male since this morning.
“You’re welcome. Is everything okay?”
Finally, Jason looked up at him, but it was with a straight face instead of his usual small smile or even the smirk that he always seemed to carry.
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know, you just seem like you’re upset about something. Did I do something to make you mad?” Y/N asked, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and uncomfortable. He was not used to this behavior from Jason. It was almost like the beginning of their relationship when the vigilante wouldn’t be very guarded against him because he didn’t trust him yet. A feeling he was very happy to forget.
“No, nothing’s wrong. I’m fine. Are you okay?” Jason asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just worried about you, I guess. You seem quiet.”
“I’m good, Y/N. You don’t need to worry about me.” Jason said, going back to scrolling on his phone while eating.
“Oh, okay,” Y/N said softly, looking down at the ground and feeling very out of place all of a sudden.
On the other end, he didn’t realize how much it was KILLING Jason on the inside to keep up this ruse. He was just about ready to fold and call it quits this morning when he turned over and avoided his boyfriend’s kiss.
Now, he felt absolutely disgusted and horrible at how hurt Y/N looked. He planned to wait it out until he got back from his classes, but he knew right at that moment he wasn’t going to be able to make it that long. He underestimated how much seeing his boyfriend upset would affect him.
“Alright, well, I’m gonna head to my class now. Text me if you want to meet up for lunch.”
“Okay,” Jason said, not saying anything else which he could see was visibly confusing Y/N even more.
He knew that Y/N didn’t like to push because of Jason’s boundaries, always rather giving him space than crowding him and trying to force him to tell him what was going on. It did nothing to help alleviate the guilt he was feeling.
When Y/N came over to try and give Jason a hug and goodbye kiss and Jason visibly moved away, the vigilante wanted to kill himself right at that moment at the wounded expression all over the boy’s face, who just moved to grab his bag, keys, and phone and damn near ran for the door. That was a clear strike three for the college student.
Absolute shit Jason felt like.
When he heard the front door open and slam, he immediately jumped up, grabbed his phone, and ran after his boyfriend who was booking it towards the stairs.
“Y/N, wait.”
When he made no moves to slow down, Jason had to pull out the vigilante moves to catch him since he was nearly out the complex door.
“Baby, stop. I was just messing with you,” He said, grabbing his boyfriend and planting kisses all over his face.
“No, that’s not funny. Get off me you jerk,” Y/N said not making any move to push Jason off which the vigilante smiled at.
“I’m sorry, but now you know how it feels,” Jason showed Y/N his phone that had been recording the entire interaction, “Payback,” He declared, clearly mocking the smaller boy.
Y/N rolled his eyes before heading back inside with his boyfriend who showered him with love and kisses for his prank but made fun of him the entire time. And it didn’t stop there.
Jason did scare pranks, couples challenges where they had to answer questions (his favorites were the ones that came with punishments like dunking each other’s head in water or getting hit with a pillow), and more.
It was the reaction memes all over again.
But, there was still one challenge he hadn’t come across yet that Y/N did and was more than ready to do on his boyfriend.
They were currently sitting in the car, spending a day out together since Y/N's load from his classes was light and there weren’t any cases Jason was working on with himself or his family either. They were parked in a parking garage outside a shopping center, having just come back from shopping and grabbing some food inside when Y/N set up the camera.
“Babe, what are you doing?” Jason asked while stuffing his face with the freshly baked pretzel bites they got.
“Saw this new couple challenge on TikTok and wanted to do it,” He said, setting up the phone mount and adjusting it so it had him and Jason in full view.
“So, I saw this new challenge where couples are asking their partners random questions about each other and seeing who knows more about the other. So me and my husband are going to do the same thing and I’m going to start.” Y/N said into the camera.
The moment it came out his mouth, Y/N could see the initial surprise on his face turn into a small smile, but he didn’t say anything or question him, so he kept going. As he did his best to think up random questions to ask Jason, he kept referring to him as his husband, increasing the smile to a shit-eating grin the longer it went.
“Why are you smiling like that?” Y/N asked.
“I’m your husband now?” Jason asked, turning to him with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, is that a problem?” Y/N asked with his own raised eyebrow.
“Absolutely not,” Jason said, not saying another word as Y/N ended the video. He pulled out his phone as they finished their food and Y/N showed the original challenge that everyone was doing, agreeing with him when he called the guy from the original video a complete idiot.
But, he definitely noticed Jason not being as discreet as he thought he was, immediately noticing Jason’s browser on his phone being pulled up to engagement rings.
Oh boy.
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☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️
☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️
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Okay I am SO bitter that Jason's ivlivus (his coin-Sword/Spear) got destroyed and never returned after lost hero. I mean, that scene where his spear rose into the sky and a huge lighting crackled throughout the whole camp, when he got claimed as a son of Zeus and EVERYONE looked at him in shock and amazement, ESPECIALLY the ppl who made fun of him for not being claimed like 2 minutes ago?? It was so badass.
Ig that weapon cracking could be a symbolism of Jason leaving his Roman life, since the coin had a picture of Julius Caesar and everything, but still. Atleast give him a better weapon?
He got a lameo gladius from Hera instead. Rick seems SO keen on destroying every single good thing jason had sheesh 😭 like why do you hate him that much uncle Rick? Taking that sword away from jason was so petty lol
It would've looked so cool next to Percy's Riptide. Percy's Riptide is legit appeared as indestructible but Jason's snapped in the first book. this just feels like another one of Rick's "Percy-has-to-appear-op-so-i-am-going-to-make-jason-look-lame" moments. (And believe me there are SO many moments like this in the books it frustrates me to an extent, Percy is powerful enough and we KNOW that already, rick emphasizing that book after book and does that at the expense of making other characters look less cool gets a little overrated after a point, like we get it Rick, percy is unbeatable and invincible, nobody's gonna think otherwise if you give other character's the spotlight from time to time)
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blackbirdi · 18 days
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Game Night (Not a Good Idea)
Brief Description: Things heard during Wayne family game night.
Point of View: 3rd Person
Word Count: 1334
Character: Batfam x platonic!Reader
Every Sunday Bruce tries to get all his kids (whether adopted or not) back to the manor for supper and a game night. And while some of the time the games are fun and a bonding moment for everyone, most of the time it's a battleground.
Things said playing: Super Smash Bros
A very pissed off Timothy Drake: DAMIAN! I AM ON YOUR TEAM; STOP PUSHING ME OFF!
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A frustrated Stephanie Brown: DODGE IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
Y/n L/n: *Playing the game for the first time in years* I don't know the controls...
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Jason Todd throwing his controller against the wall after his team lost for the seventh time in a row: THIS IS BULLSHIT!
***
Things said playing: Twister
A defeated before the game even begins Duke Thomas: No. Straight up, no. We all know Dick's going to win; what's the point in even playing?
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A very flexible and cocky Dick Grayson: What do you mean you can't reach the green circle? It's literally so easy!
Jason: *His eye twitching* Kill yourself.
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A tired of the complaining, Bruce Wayne: Dick, you're not playing this round.
Dick, heartbroken: What? Why?
The rest of the Batkids: *Cheering*
***
Things said playing: Jenga
Damian Wayne, who just knocked the tower over: DRAKE BUMPED INTO ME! HE MADE ME KNOCK IT OVER JUST SO I WOULD LOSE!
Tim, who is sitting over ten feet from him: What? No, I didn't.
Damian: YES, YOU DID!
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A very confused and slightly disappointed Barbara Gordon: Why did you choose that one?
Y/n, who chose the most difficult one to remove: *Practically in tears* I DON'T KNOW!
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Anyone after knocking the tower over: I fucking hate this game.
***
Things said playing: Among Us
*While they're waiting in the lobby (the game hasn't even begun)*
Tim: It's Damian.
Damian: Fuck you.
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Bruce, after being the first killed for the fifth time in a row: Do you hate me that much?
Steph (a crewmate): *Walking past Bruce's body and not reporting it* Yes.
Babs (a crewmate), who people are now suspecting: You're not supposed to give any hints that you got killed, Bruce.
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*Y/n and Cass being revealed as the imposters*
The Batfamily after being positive that Y/n and Cass were the only ones who weren't the imposters (other than those murdered): WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE THE IMPOSTER?
Y/n and Cass: *Cackling*
***
Things said playing: Charades
Jason, after they ran out of time and didn't guess it: *Looking at the card* What you acted out was not fucking Ratatouille.
Damian, who was very much not doing anything to hint towards Ratatouille: YES, IT WAS!
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Babs after picking up the most complicated things possible to act out: What the fuck is this?
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Bruce: I burned the zombie card by the way.
Jason, Tim, Steph, Damian, and Y/n: *Groaning in disappointment*
***
Things said playing: Just Dance
Cass: *Doing everything perfectly*
Everyone else: How the fuck are you doing that?
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Cass: *Giggling* What are you doing?
Y/n: I don't fucking know.
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Tim: HOW DID DUKE GET SECOND!?
Duke: I am the epitome of a graceful dancer, Tim. *Proceeds to trip over the coffee table and land flat on his face*
***
Things said playing: Any game involving riddles
Any of the Batkids: I CALL DUKE/STEPH!
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Bruce: *Reading a riddle that was writing in Shakespearean (ye old English)*
All of the Batkids: w h a t
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Duke/Steph: I'm telling you, it's *correct answer*
Jason: No, it's not. It's *very much the wrong answer*
Duke/Steph, feeling petty: Fine, we'll go with *Jason's answer*
Bruce: It's *the answer Duke/Steph originally had*
Duke/Steph: *Waiting for Jason to admit they were right*
Jason:
Jason, who refuses to take the blame: Jeez, you're terrible at this game.
***
Things said playing: Spoons
(if you don't know what Spoons is, search it up because I don't know how to describe it, but it is the most fun game ever and you're missing out.)
Y/n: *Holding onto the spoon like her life depends on it* YOU CAN'T GRAB IT FROM ME! IT'S ALREADY IN MY HAND!
Steph: *Clawing at Y/n's hand* GIVE IT HERE!
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Dick: *Cradling his hand* I think Jason broke my hand.
Jason, with the most "I don't give a shit" voice ever: Damn. That sucks.
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All the Batkids at one point: *Quite literally throwing themselves across the table to grab the last spoon*
Bruce: *Tired Dad SighTM*
***
Things said playing: Monopoly
Jason, who owns all but one railroad: I swear to God, Tim, if you land on the last railroad and buy it...
Tim, lands on the last rail road: *Buys it*
Jason: *Lunges across the table to strangle him*
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Y/n, after buying Park Place a while ago: *Lands on Boardwalk* You bitches are about to be financially murdered.
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*After red hotels have been added to over half the board, and there are at least two green houses on every spot*
Duke: Can I just stay in jail?
***
Things said playing: Uno
Cass: Uno!
Steph: *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Tim: *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Y/n: *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Jason: *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Duke: *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Dick: *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Damian: *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Babs: Sorry, Cass *Places Pick Up 4 card*
Cass:
Cass, trying not to fucking snap: You guys fucking suck.
(I'm sobbing. She's picking up 28 cards. NOOO, CASS)
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*It's down to just Tim and Damian; the others have all gotten rid of their cards*
Tim, after being skipped for the fifth time in a row: *Near tears* HOW MANY FUCKING SKIP CARDS DO YOU HAVE?
Damian: *Placing another one down* Yes.
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*Whenever someone wins*
The rest of the Batkids: *Starts a fist fight*
*Cue Uno getting banned from being played at a Game Night.*
***
Things said playing: Mario Kart
Babs, throwing a green shell: *Bounces off the wall and hits her instead of the person ahead of her* I'm going to kill someone.
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Dick: *Picks Rainbow Road*
The rest of the Batkids: Fuck you.
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Cass, before they start playing: Oh, I suck at this game.
Cass: *Wins over half the races*
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Jason: DID YOU JUST FUCKING BLUE SHELL ME!?
Y/n: Yup.
Jason: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO WIN!
Y/n: That's why I did it.
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Steph: *Getting pissed that she got 2nd*
Bruce: *Trying to console her* It's fine, Steph. It's just a game.
Steph: JUST A GAME!? JUST A GAME, HUH!? THEN YOU FUCKING PLAY IT, BRUCE!
Bruce: *Too scared to play with his kids because of how angry he's been seeing them getting* No.
Steph: That's what I fucking thought.
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Y/n, after being hit by Jason's red shell for the third time in a row: *Throwing the controller at Jason* I'M DONE! I'M FUCKING DONE!
Jason: *Cackles*
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Tim: *Looking at someone else's screen and not realizing it* I am so good at this.
*His character is actually continuously hitting a wall*
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Duke: *Gets a blue shell* It's over for you, Cass!
Damian: *Uses Thunderbolt, thus getting rid of Duke's blue shell before he can use it*
*Duke, trying to stop himself from attacking Damian*
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Damian: *About to get first place* And victory is–
Duke: *Blue shells him* That's what you get, you little bastard.
*Damian proceeds to literally bite Duke*
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*Bruce, trying to ban Mario Kart from Game Night*
All the Batkids: BOO! I'm not coming back if you do.
*Mario Kart has not been banned*
***
Bonus! (Involves only Babs, Dick, Jason, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Y/n)
Things said playing: Cards Against Humanity
Y/n, holding the prompt for this round: *Looking at the responses the rest gave her* You all are fucking terrible human beings.
Babs: It's a damn game, Y/n. No one actually meant it.
Dick: Hey! My card was not that bad!
Cass: Come on, it's funny!
Jason: Yes.
Steph: Thank you.
Tim: You're one to talk.
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jasonswh0rre · 1 month
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The Psychological Analysis of Jason Todd
I am a psych major, and my professor is allowing us to make an analysis of any character of our choice, so I figured who better to write then Jason Todd. This was very fun to write and I very much enjoyed rewatching Batman: Arkham Knight. Please enjoy. ☁️ Warning(s): Trigger Warning for Trauma, Mental Health Content, Violence, Graphic Imagery, Spoiler(s)☁️ Word Count: 2.6k ☁️: Authors Note: I am working on fanfics, more headcanons for Arkham Jason, unfortunately I am busy with classes, assignments and deadlines. I will try to be punctual but it may take time. Thank you for your understanding.
Introduction 
Jason Todd is the secondary villain in Batman: Arkham Knight, which has the same moniker. He is the second Robin and Bruce Wayne's adoptive son.
Jason Peter Todd was born in the slums of Gotham City to two drug-addicted parents, who would eventually try to settle a debt they had by giving Jason away when he was a baby. Jason received no parental figure to help guide him, leading him to petty crimes such as theft to nourish his survival. Jason is a character who takes what he needs if it means prolonging his survival; his lack of a parental figure leads him to an identity crisis between longing for a parental figure and convincing himself he is better off without one. When the simple truth is that every human needs a mother and a father, we respond positively to a nurturing environment, and through early adolescence, our brains crave the structure needed to build us into well-rounded adults. 
At fifteen, Jason inadvertently met Batman while committing robbery when Batman was fighting Gotham's notorious supervillain, The Joker. Believing Batman is in trouble, Jason jumps between pushing the hero from harm's way. Despite life's misfortunes, Jason possesses a remarkable code of morality enough to want to save someone. Jason, attempting to rid Joker of his breath, aims a pistol at the clown and, before firing, is knocked out of his hands by Batman's batarang. Unfortunately for him, Joker would leave Jason with a cryptic message, one for the young man to head.
Jason would later be apprehended and taken into custody in the back of a police car by Batman after Batman retrieved his gun and stolen money. However, rather than being charged, Jason receives a blessing through a Wayne Industries project that helped troubled teens; through the program, Jason was able to turn his life around. All attract the man who helped Jason find a new purpose: Bruce Wayne. Months after being released, Batman appeared in Jason's dorm, again offering Jason another opportunity. 
2nd Robin and Kidnapping
Taking Jason in as his ward as well as dubbing him Robin after Dick Grayson, Jason sought justice and enjoyed being a hero. Like the previous Robin, he showed a keen aptitude for it; unlike his predecessor, he possessed a fiery temper and willingness for more lethal force. While Jason's temper is directed towards the criminals that harm the innocents, Batman views this as inexcusable, fearing the day that Jason will kill instead of reprimanding. 
In the most twisted sense of irony, Jason's morality inevitably becomes his downfall. The Joker has blown up a school with kindergarteners; this leads to Jason's resolve that Joker needs to die. Knowing that Bruce would try to stop him, Jason abandons his comms and tracker so he can kill Joker. However, it is a trap, and Joker ambushes Jason. Jason was kept in a wheelchair, bonded by barbed wire that kept Jason leaning hunched over in excruciating pain. Throughout his pain, Jason's mind remained still; he was confident that Batman would find him; his sheer will at the beginning of his torture is, with all honesty, remarkable as Joker has been known for his mental abuse and mind games he plays with his victims including his sidekick, Harley Quinn. 
In the six months of his torture, Jason's unwavering mental resolve was slowly crippling as Joker had wanted; throughout the game, Jason's voice mixed with crippling fear and small doubts about Batman coming. The Joker feeds into his doubts by showing him a photo of Batman with his replacement, Tim Drake. This leaves Jason troubled as he slowly loses hope for Batman. 
The last act of Jason's torture involved a video sent to Batman via The Joker of Jason, who has undergone all his brainwashing; in the video, Jason is sitting down in a chair; he is not chained, barbed, handcuffed, or kept sitting still in any way by all means Jason could easily walk away. This is a significant and crucial part of Jason's torture as it symbolizes just how much mental anguish and emotional exhaustion Jason went through to the point that he no longer had a yearning for freedom—making him downright timid and submissive towards Joker enough to out Batman's identity when asked by the latter. This results in Joker shooting Jason point-blank in the chest, as Joker "never could stand a tattletale." However, this was only a ploy to make Batman believe Jason is genuinely dead.
On the contrary, Jason was kept alive for another year, endeavoring more torture, mistreatment, and malnourishment. Harley Quinn did the final touches of Jason's emotional and mental brainwashing; a former psychiatrist who manipulated Jason into believing that Batman was the cause of his anguish and his pain was his doing; she did this long enough, even punishing Jason by waterboarding him and electrocuting him when he refused to say Batman, indicating he still had some level of awareness of who was torturing him. 
However, once Harley could get Jason to say Batman's name, Jason was drugged and beaten by two prisoners dressed like Batman; he was given a gun by The Joker and was ordered to kill them. Jason's resolve and humanity were a cord, still entrenched in him before Harley convinced him further, snapping his humanity and getting him to shoot the two dressed-up prisoners dead.
During the riots of Arkham Asylum, The Joker paid mercenary Deathstroke to keep Jason there and shoot him if he escaped. However, Jason convinces Deathstroke that Joker will not keep his promise and that if he helps, Jason will triple whatever Joker plans to pay. Accepting the offer, Deathstroke assists Jason in escaping, stealing a helicopter, and flying to Wayne Industries. Jason steals millions of dollars from his former guardian. Ironically, crossing paths with Tim Drake, who assumes Todd to be Deathstroke's sidekick, when Jason's ankle is caught between Tim's grappling hook, Jason cuts the cord, allowing Tim to fall when suggested by Deathstroke that killing Robin would bode well for them with the Dark Knight. Jason Coldy says that if he dies in a fall like that, Batman needs to pick his sidekicks better. 
Jason's psyche has been torn and scattered, leaving him a hollowed carving with a mocking J branding etched onto his face, from birth his eyes were already met with darkness, born to parents who never showed him recognition, let alone love, and through the Wayne Industries Project and his adoption by Bruce his eyes were wide, and remarkably hopeful, to be free of the weight of Gotham's misfortunes finally; those eyes that looked with gleam forced shut until he saw nothing but blackness.
Arkham Knight's Birth
Jason adopts a new persona built on the pain and suffering in the wake of his escape from Joker. He feels betrayed by the one person he only had in the world and wants vengeance. Jason works alongside Scarecrow, one of Batman's enemies. The two begin a plan on Halloween to take Gotham and Batman's legacy along with it. Jason gathers all Batman's enemies to join, assembling a militia with Deathstroke. While working with each other, Scarecrow "tests" his fear toxin on the young man, sending him on a psychological spiral. One of his more apparent fears is the Joker, who can be found near, in the background, or standing right in front of him laughing and mocking him, but beyond the clown prince of crime's appearance, Jason also sees his replacement, Tim Drake, and "fights" him.
The fight has Jason severely outnumbered in the beginning, with Tim succeeding, even using his staff to choke Jason, forcing him to the ground as the Jokers around him laugh. Further into the fear toxin, Jason appears in front of Wayne Manor, where he throws down his helmet and says the following: "Someplace warm, someplace safe, someplace where I'm needed, someplace where I'm loved," Joker once again appears in front of him laughing and mocking him on whether he even deserves it, this is Jason's internal struggle in a manifested form of the person who caused him harm, of the person who convinced him from the start that he was alone and would not be saved. Jason is mischaracterized as always being angry or standoffish, but anger has more truth than any lie detector can scoop. Jason feels this anger is not just because of some personality trait; anger is his cry out, and he's shouting to be seen and loved. This is most likely due to being tortured at 15 or so, which, despite the fact that at the time of Arkham Knight, he was in his early 20s, his mental age was regressed to the age when he was captured. This makes Jason appear at first glance as someone emotional, cocky, and arrogant. He values safety and love; he doesn't want to be on his guard 24/7, but he's grown up in an environment where letting your guard down gets you killed. He follows Joker into Wayne Manor, where he sees Bruce; suddenly, several versions of Batman appear in the room. They beat him and told him they never wanted a partner or even a son. This is a conflict that has always waged war in Jason's mind. Jason's biological father attempted to give him up and then belittled him when he explained that Jason's worth was so low that he couldn't even leave him; he has low self-esteem that he internalizes into rage in the way that he fights to prove his strength. 
This is why Jason has a strong attachment to Bruce/Batman it maybe due to an underlying desire to seek his approval especially by the time when he adopts him. Bruce gives him everything he could ask for and anything he could think of, and Batman gives him a purpose. Ironically, this is still the case despite Bruce himself having an avoidant attachment style. 
Conclusion and Diagnosis
Jason Todd's character in "Batman: Arkham Knight" exhibits a complex interplay of psychological factors that align with the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). One prominent feature of BPD is emotional dysregulation, characterized by intense and rapidly shifting emotions. Jason displays various emotions throughout the game, from anger and hostility to vulnerability and despair. His reactions often appear exaggerated or disproportionate to the situation, indicating difficulty regulating his emotional responses.
Furthermore, Jason's sense of identity is notably unstable, which is another hallmark feature of BPD. Having grown up in a dysfunctional environment with absent parents, Jason lacks a stable sense of self and struggles to define his identity. This is evident in his adoption of various personas, including Robin, the Arkham Knight, and, later, the Red Hood. His shifting identities reflect a profound inner conflict and a desperate search for validation and purpose. Jason's interpersonal relationships also reflect the interpersonal instability characteristic of BPD. He forms intense and unstable attachments to figures such as Batman, vacillating between admiration and resentment. His interactions with other characters are marked by rapid shifts in perception, alternating between idealization and devaluation. For example, while Jason initially idolizes Batman as a mentor and father figure, his feelings of betrayal and abandonment lead to resentment and hostility towards him.
Moreover, Jason exhibits self-destructive behaviors as a coping mechanism for his emotional pain, another hallmark of BPD. He engages in reckless actions, disregarding his safety to seek vengeance against those he perceives as enemies. His confrontations with adversaries are often fueled by a desire for self-assertion and control, masking more profound feelings of emptiness and despair.
Underlying Jason's behaviors is a pervasive fear of abandonment, stemming from his traumatic upbringing and experiences of betrayal. This fear drives his desperate attempts to maintain connections with others, even as he pushes them away with his volatile and unpredictable behavior. Jason's fear of abandonment manifests in his interactions with Batman and the Bat family, where he oscillates between seeking their approval and rejecting their authority.
Jason Todd's character in "Batman: Arkham Knight" embodies many of the core features of Borderline Personality Disorder, including emotional dysregulation, identity disturbance, interpersonal instability, self-destructive behaviors, and a fear of abandonment. By analyzing his actions, relationships, and psychological struggles within the context of the game's narrative, it becomes apparent that Jason's character aligns closely with the diagnostic criteria for BPD, providing a compelling framework for understanding his complex and multifaceted personality.
Besides indicating various symptoms of BPD, I would also consider diagnosing Jason with Complex Post post-traumatic stress Disorder (C-PTSD). Given Jason's background of severe trauma, including childhood abuse, neglect, and prolonged torture at the hands of the Joker, it's worth considering Complex PTSD. C-PTSD typically develops in response to chronic trauma and is characterized by symptoms such as emotional dysregulation, disturbed self-concept, difficulties in relationships, and a persistent sense of threat. I would include diagnosing Jason with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD): Jason's experiences of profound loss, trauma, and betrayal may contribute to symptoms of depression, such as feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and a loss of interest in activities. His struggles with emotional regulation and chronic feelings of emptiness could also align with depressive symptoms. Following my diagnosis, I am also inclined to believe he suffers from attachment disorders; given Jason's tumultuous upbringing and experiences and a multitude of parental figures involving neglect and abandonment, it's possible that he may have developed attachment-related difficulties. This could manifest in insecure attachment styles, fear of abandonment, and challenges in forming and maintaining healthy relationships. 
Furthermore, I would consider Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD): While Jason displays empathy and compassion at times, his willingness to engage in morally questionable or violent behavior, as well as his disregard for societal norms and rules, may align with some features of ASPD. However, his capacity for genuine care and loyalty makes this disorder out of sorts with his character.
Lastly, Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder (PTED): PTED is a proposed diagnostic category characterized by intense feelings of injustice, betrayal, and embitterment following a traumatic event or series of events. Jason's experiences of betrayal and abandonment, particularly by Batman and the Joker, may resonate with the symptoms of PTED. 
In conclusion, the character of Jason Todd in "Batman: Arkham Knight" presents a compelling portrayal of psychological complexity shaped by a tumultuous history of trauma, betrayal, and profound loss. Through a comprehensive analysis of his experiences and behaviors throughout the game, it becomes evident that Jason embodies many psychological struggles, warranting consideration for various diagnostic possibilities. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) emerges as a primary candidate, given Jason's emotional volatility, identity disturbances, and interpersonal difficulties. His tumultuous relationships, intense fear of abandonment, and self-destructive tendencies align closely with the diagnostic criteria for BPD. Furthermore, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) offers another lens through which to understand Jason's psychological profile, considering his history of chronic trauma and its pervasive impact on his functioning.
Additionally, Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) may contribute to Jason's experiences of profound despair, hopelessness, and emotional emptiness. His struggles with attachment-related difficulties suggest the possibility of underlying attachment disorders stemming from his early experiences of neglect and abandonment.
While Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder (PTED) offer alternative perspectives, they may not fully capture the complexity of Jason's character, given his capacity for empathy and genuine care, despite his propensity for morally questionable behavior.
In essence, Jason Todd's character in "Batman: Arkham Knight" is a poignant exploration of the human psyche's intricacies, illustrating the profound impact of trauma on identity, relationships, and emotional well-being. By delving into his psychological struggles within the context of the game's narrative, we gain valuable insights into the complexities of mental health and the enduring resilience of the human spirit.
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thisphantomlife · 3 months
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Songs Hozier has covered
Bowie - Changes, Young Americans (see also Trinity Orchestra section)
Prince - I Wanna Be Your Lover, Raspberry Beret, Jungle Love
James Carr - The Dark End Of The Street
The Beatles - Blackbird
John Lennon (Donny Hathaway version) - Jealous Guy (at the goldenplec block party with Zaska)
Ariana Grande - Problem
Warren G - Regulate (mashup with Problem)
James Blake - Retrograde
Tom Waits - Strange Weather
Florence and the Machine - Cosmic Love
Stevie Wonder - Living for the City, As
Sting - 7 Days
The BeeGees - To Love Somebody
Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (that thing)
Amerie - One Thing
Skip James - Illinois Blues
Muddy Waters - Catfish Blues
Van Morrison - Caravan, Sweet Thing, Domino, Brown Eyed Girl, Saint Dominic’s Preview
Bill Withers - Ain’t No Sunshine
Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know
Demi Lovato - Sorry Not Sorry
Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
Fun - We Are Young
Paul Simon - Bridge Over Troubled Water
Sam Smith - Lay Me Down
Destiny’s Child - Say My Name
Britney Spears - Toxic (snippet)
The Band - The Weight
Otis Rush version of Willie Dixon and the Big Three Trio - My Love Will Never Die
The Talking Heads - Burning Down the House (Instagram live messing around with friends)
The Staple Singers - Let’s Do it Again
The Weather Forecast 🤪
Ed Lewis - I Be So Glad When the Sun Goes Down (Instagram snippet)
Mavis Staples - Eyes on the Prize
Jackie Wilson - (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher
The Meters - Just Kissed My Baby
Christmas Songs - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Winter Wonderland, Santa Claus is Coming to Town (with others at the Xmas Eve Ball 2015)
Traditional Irish songs - My Lagan Love, The Humours of Whiskey, I Am Stretched On Your Grave, The Rolling Wave (on the low whistle), The Parting Glass, The Lonely Jig (on the low whistle)
(Live) Collabs - that are not Andrew’s own songs
Alvin Youngblood Hart - Illinois Blues
Maren Morris - The Bones, My Church, Girl, The Tree
Annie Lennox - I Put a Spell on You (Screamin Jay Hawkins cover)
Tom Odell - Another Love
Noah Kahan - Northern Attitude
Allison Russell - Requiem, Stop Dragging My Heart Around (Stevie Nicks & Tom Petty cover)
Brandi Carlile - The Joke, Walk On (U2 cover), The Weight (The Band cover)
Jamala - Walk On (U2 cover)
Mavis Staples - The Weight (The Band cover), Keep Your Eyes on the Prize (with Our Native Daughters, Jason Isbell and Phil Cook)
Boygenius - Salt in the Wound
Alana Henderson - Ae Fond Kiss (poem by Robert Burns)
U2 - When Love Comes to Town
Tori Kelly - Blackbird (the Beatles cover)
Mumford and Sons - Guiding Light, Awake My Soul, With a Little Help From My Friends (Beatles cover, with other artists)
Lake Street Dive - Everyday People (Sly and the Family Stone cover)
Rachael Price - Rental Love
Victoria Canal - Swan Song
Elwood (his dog) - Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (Elton John and Kiki Dee cover, Insta snippet)
All the artists at Love Rocks NYC 2022 - Like A Rolling Stone (Bob Dylan cover), Feeling Alright (Traffic cover)
Brian Kennedy (and others) - I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free (Nina Simone cover)
His Dad - The Weight (The Band cover at MSG)
Zaska, Wyvern Lingo, Loah - Sir Duke (Stevie Wonder cover)
Eabha McMahon - Bright Blue Rose (Jimmy McCarthy cover)
Christmas Eve Busk 2015
Bono, Glen Hansard - When Love Comes to Town, Every Breaking Wave
Glen Hansard, Imelda May - The Dark End of the Street (James Carr cover)
Christmas Eve Busk 2017
Glen Hansard, Coronas, Imelda May, Liam O Maonlaoi - So This is Christmas (John Lennon cover), The Aul Triangle
Music Groups
Nova Collective - (original songs) Tuile, Closer, Quick Bossa
Zaska - (original songs) In Your Own Sweet Time, Different Light, She Gunk Gunk Dunk A Funk, Oh Yeah
Anuna - with Andrew on lead vocals: The Raid, La Chanson de Mardi Gras. With Andrew in the choir: Jingle Bells, An Uaithne
The Wiggles - Cherry Tree Carol with Anuna
Trinity Orchestra - songs covered with Andrew on lead vocals
~ Queen - Somebody To Love, Don’t Stop Me Now
~ Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage
~ Pink Floyd - Time, Breathe, Comfortably Numb, Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Money
~ Michael Jackson - Earth Song, Black or White, Smooth Criminal
~ David Bowie - Heroes
*This list may not be complete. It only contains songs that can be found online.
Please let me know if any songs are missing so I can add them 🫶
I’ve not included the songs he sang snippets of on that Song Association interview
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yesimwriting · 11 months
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Slow Nights
A/n in a bit of a jason todd mood and i’ve been dealing with the writers block that comes from going through a rough couple of days, so i’m just going with the flow! 
also i feel like the fic world has shifted away from first person, but i was in the mood for it and i write to improve and felt like working on my first person voice😭 pls forgive me   
Summary: There are a lot of risks that come from being a female waitress at a small diner in Gotham. You didn’t realize that one of them would be developing a small crush cautious friendship with the intimidating, broody guy that keeps weird hours and always squeezes himself into the smallest booth near the window with a paper back. 
----
Appreciate the slow nights. That’s what Marta said before my first closing shift, when it was just the two of us and the long window that displayed a nearly empty street. I understood instantly. In Gotham, nothing’s guaranteed. Most criminals--petty or psychotic supervillain--don’t have the decency to wait until nightfall for their crimes. But there’s something about working until 3 AM that’s eerie, like you’re daring some testosterone fueled, ego maniac that’s had a little too much to drink to do rob you. Or worse. 
“You think anyone would notice if we closed early?” It’s not an actual offer, just part of our routine. I ask this question anytime between 1:00 and 2:00 and Marta pretends to contemplate as she wipes down a counter or sweeps or does anything she can to keep busy. Her answer is always something about how Bobby, the owner, has a sixth sense about these kind of things or some other kind of joke that makes Bobby seem like the bottom line obsessed ass he is.
She lets out a small sound at the back of her throat, ending her dutiful organization of plastic protected menus. “I think that boyfriend of yours would.” 
The comment strikes a nerve deep in my stomach. An uncomfortable warmth begins to spread through my face. The fact that she’s straying from her usual joke to poke fun at that amplifies the message. The twitch of her mouth tells me she knows exactly what she’s done. “Oh, he is not--” She’s oddly smug for someone who’s always giving me a warning look when I linger around a certain table too long, a kind of worry that’s so distinctly grandmotherly I can feel the silent warnings against my skin. “He’s a costumer, a regular. That’s it.” 
“Your customer,” her eyes are back on her menus, two of them are stuck together, “Your regular.” She pushes the nail of her thumb between the edge of the barriers. They let go of each other with a soft pop. 
Maybe I always take Jason’s table, but it’s only because everyone else was too scared to at first and now it’s just...routine. Like Marta and I pretending we’d close more than a few minutes early or the way that Adam, my least favorite closing shift partner, never sweeps correctly and always tries to find an excuse to walk me to my car. “Only because everyone else is too scared to talk to him.” 
She hums once, low and disbelieving. “Okay, because you know he--” I frown as Marta struggles to find the words. A part of me wants to tell her she doesn’t need to bother. I know because despite all the teasing, she sees him almost as much as I do. Jason comes in and he’s a living canvas of deep blues and sick yellows and the kind of crimson that has to be fresh. 
That’s what initially broke the ice between us. Marta stayed behind the counter and when I finally walked up to his booth, the first thing I noted was the bloody knuckles and the Jane Austen paperback. He asked for a coffee, black. I brought it to him, along with a damp rag and a few bandaids from the first aid kit in the back. I didn’t think about how weird and kind of silly that was until I was at his table. Taking it back to the kitchen after he had seen it felt even more pathetic so I silently set them down next to the coffee. He barely nodded in acknowledgement before turning to his book. 
When I came back to bring him his check, he looked particularly annoyed as he stared at the pages in front of him. For a second, the potential aggression turned my blood to ice. Awkwardly, I noted the cover and how far into the book he was, so I nervously mumbled the first thing I thought of. “Darcy, right?” He had looked surprised and I quickly jumped to defend myself, “You just um--you look like you’re around the proposal scene and for me, at least, it’s um--it’s equally bad every time.” 
That got his expression to soften a little, enough for him to ask how I had managed to figure out where he was based on his facial expression and how open his book was. After that, it was something else, something that went on until closing and ended with a 20$ tip and a walk to my car. 
 “You’re too smart for that, Mija.” 
Marta’s words bring me back. I nod, the motion hollow. The quick acceptance leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s a betrayal even though Marta didn’t really say anything and nothing she implied was factually wrong. Defensiveness immediately tries to crawl its way out of my throat. There’s a lot I could tell her. It might be so normal for Jason to have his knuckles split that the one time he didn’t, I teased him about it until he threatened to leave early and never come back, but he’s not whatever violence he won’t explain and I won’t ever ask about without a joke barrier for safety. He’s that one smile that makes you feel like you’ve earned something; and the jokes that kind of take you by surprise because you wouldn’t expect someone so physically intimidating to have a sense of humor that lighthearted; and he’s the books he reads, tears through so quickly he almost always has a new cover when he comes in. 
“Yeah,” I mumble, trying to convince myself that this isn’t the betrayal it feels like, “He’s just a regular that’s nice to talk to. It’s not like I ask him to come in or anything.” It’s not like I could, considering I have no way of contacting him. It’s not like he’s a friend I could text. 
The familiar creek of the front door’s tired hinges has Marta raising her eyebrows at me. A customer...around 2 AM...as we’re talking about Jason. There’s a silent understanding between us and the look she gives me isn’t subtle. We both know exactly who it is, so I push myself away from the kitchen counter we’ve been leaning against and grab a pot of coffee before placing a hand on the door that leads to the counters. 
“You ever think the stale coffee isn’t what he comes in for?” 
I still, the words rolling in my chest uncomfortably because the thought doesn’t bother me. At all. I push past the door before she can gage my reaction. 
He’s already in his usual seat--the farthest booth in the back, right next to the window. “Y’know the other day this family came in, three toddlers they could barely keep track of and a newborn in a stroller and the mom trying to get all their orders while the dad filled out the crossword on his phone.” I start pouring the coffee before I’ve even looked at him. “And the part I was most offended by was that he was sitting right there.” 
Jason’s watching me carefully, the curve of his lips gentle, “How dare he?” 
I look up, setting the pot on the table next to his cup. Even though I can practically feel Marta’s gaze on us, I can’t help but indulge in this part of our usual exchange. The moment in which I let myself really look at him, examining each part of his face for new or healing bruises or scratches carefully. 
There’s only one particularly notable mark, but this one is intense, right beneath an eye that’s clearly swollen. “Right?” I force my eyes to focus on anything else.  “We should put up a sign.” 
“VIP treatment,” there’s a shift in his tone that I feel more than hear, a precursor to some comment that toes the line between friendly and something else, “You saying I’m your favorite?” 
He tilts his head slightly, eyes watching my expression with a carefulness that’s tangible. That’s part of how he plays into the space between casual and flirty, through the small things. “Well, you are my best tipper.” 
Jason frowns, pushing himself a little further into his seat as if physically moved by his offense. “So that’s all I’m good for?” 
I roll my eyes, ignoring the dangerous warmth settling in my chest. “You never stop me when I start talking about books, so I guess you’re good for that, too.” 
“You guess?” 
Scoffing, I let my attention fall to the seat across from him. It’s not like I sit with him every time he comes in, if he comes in during daylight hours it’s usually impossible. But nights are different...
Marta’s words come back, a little heavier now. 
Jason takes a quick sip of his coffee and looks over at the space in front of him. “...You guys busy?” 
There’s something there, trying to hide in the way the sentence comes out. The glue that holds us together is the unspoken-ness of all of it. He never mentions the bandaids and wet rags I bring when he needs them unless he’s making a joke about it. And I never bring up the regularity of his presence. 
“Oh, yeah,” I joke, moving to sit across from him, “You should know how busy 2AM is for us by now.” I tap my nails against the surface of the table. “We might have to move you.” 
Jason lets out a small sound that’s somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. “Thought this was my table?” 
I shrug, trying my best to not seem too amused. “You were getting too comfortable.” He keeps one hand on the table, relaxing in his seat as he waits for me to continue. “Can’t have you thinking I like you or anything.” 
He inhales, letting the silence between us linger. There’s a fragile quality to the space between words that has me focusing on his physical appearance again. I did miss something. Not a bruise or a cut, but the bags beneath his eyes that seem deeper today than they usually are and the shadow tainting his expression and the fact that he hasn’t even mentioned the book he brought in with him. 
“I believe you.” 
I roll my eyes at his sarcasm because I’m supposed to. There’s no place for that kind of worry, no where for it all to go. He’s just someone that comes in for his coffee. Just someone that keeps me company during closing and sometimes makes a boring afternoon shift more entertaining. “Shut up.” 
Jason doesn’t immediately jump to push at what’s clearly a hollow response. The silence eases itself back into existence. Normally lulls like this make me feel flighty or like I need to say anything to make sure I’m not the awkward one. But there’s no stiffness that I feel the need to fight against, it’s just us.
Even though Marta’s definitely only pretending not to watch us as she wipes down the counter that I already cleaned, it really is just me and him, and when it’s like that, it’s easy to talk. Sure, we wrap the layers of heavier stuff in layers of teasing fluff and bad jokes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. 
“That eye makes you a little hard to look at.” 
He scoffs, his lips pulling downwards. “Ouch. That hurt worse than the punch, sweetheart.” 
My nose wrinkles. “Did not.” 
“Bruised feelings are--” 
I groan before he can get the rest of his words out, “Do not say ‘as bad as a bruised face’.” 
Jason’s mouth stays partially open, like the second half of his sentence hasn’t realized that it has no where to go. There’s something kind of funny about easily over 6′, looks like he belongs in some kind of alley Jason glaring at me like an offended goldfish. “You’re mean.” 
“And you’re cheesy,” I counter, leaning a little closer as my forearms relax on the table, “I’m just saying you need to take better care of your face, it’s one of your better qualities.”
Oh no. The realization that I’ve made a mistake doesn’t settle until the words are already out of my mouth. Jason’s relaxed posture as he reaches for his coffee makes it clear that he’s noticed, too. I blink, pained at the realization that there’s no where to backtrack to. 
He takes a long sip of dark liquid before setting the cup between us. “One of my better qualities?” 
The nail of my thumb presses into the wood of the table. “Okay, I said ‘your face was one of your better qualities’, it’s not like I called you hot.” 
Jason smiles in a way that’s so damn knowing, “I know.” 
“Then why are you smiling?” 
He shrugs, still too amused, “Maybe I missed you.” 
That’s...new. Sure, he’s been gone for a few days but that’s nothing crazy. It wasn’t even the longest stretch of time he’s disappeared for. All that matters is that Jason’s here more days than he’s not. All that matters is that he eventually comes back and things always feel like he never left. 
Part of the reason that it works so seamlessly is because we never talk about his absence (with the exception of me making a joke that must have been cheating on me and him swearing he could never). I never mention that when he does come back, he usually has more marks on his skin than usual...or the fact that I worry. 
“Maybe I missed you, too.” It feels like a confession, a weight peeling itself off of my chest. “Even though you’re a total dork.” 
“I’m the dork?” 
“The ‘one black coffee’ order is trying way too hard for you not to be.” It’s an argument we’ve had before. Black coffee with no additives in the middle of the night, like he’s working at being mysterious even though he cracks open as easily as whatever book he’s reading. 
He sits up a little straighter, an argument that likely insults my coffee order clearly ready. The squeak of the front door’s hinges steal the spotlight before Jason can get it out. 
I turn my head, looking past the booth and down the aisle. A group of four guys have already stumbled in. I instinctually stand. One of the guys is laughing, slurring out some story I can’t make out as his friend tries to push off of his shoulder as he sways. The shortest starts to laugh as well, punching his friend in the arm as he gestures vaguely towards me. Great. 
“We’re closing.” Marta’s voice is firm as she makes her presence clear. 
“You close at 3:00,” the tallest one challenges her, stepping further into the space, “That’s what it says on the door...and...” He makes a show of turning over his wrist and checking his watch, “It’s only...2:53.” The number comes out so slurred it twists in my stomach. He shuffles towards the counter, a look that’s too sharp to not feel sober taking over his expression, “That’s not a problem, is it?” 
“It’s fine.” My lips press together after the sentence, hoping that Marta feels safe enough to stay out of it. “I’ll seat them.” 
I grab a few menus from the hostess counter that Marta stocked for the morning shift. I lead them to the first table that’s angled away from the counter. Marta’s jumpy and not always good at hiding it. Besides, I like the thought of anything shady happening farther from Marta. She has some issues with her right knee and she refuses to get it looked at. If things ever came down to running... 
I force the thought out of my head as I set a menu down in front of the seats. 
“Thank you, love.” The tall one--when did he get so close. 
I nod once, attempting a polite smile that hopefully hides my nerves as I try to side step around him. The back of my arm hits something firm. “Woah.” Something squeezes my shoulder and my entire body turns to stone. “Pretty thing like you shouldn’t be so jumpy.” 
The taller one angles his body to the left, subtly blocking off my original plan of escape. Part of Marta’s face is blocked by the man’s shoulder, but I can still make out her concern. Her lips part and I want her help as much as I dread it. 
“Hey, babe--” Jason. The strangers, weirdly aware for how inebriated they seemed earlier, take their time looking at Jason. They take him and the implication of his presence in quickly. I’m released at a speed that I can barely register. Even the tallest one takes a step back to give me the space to breathe. “You almost done?” 
Even though the babe clued me into his strategy almost immediately (Jason’s nicknames choices are usually more creative), it takes a second for my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me. “Yeah, after them we should be good to go home.” 
Jason takes his time looking over at each of the strangers in a way that could pass as casual if it wasn’t for the lock of his jaw. Maybe if I wasn’t used to him, used to the way he looks when we debate plot points and recommend music to each other, his expression would seem less distinct. But I do know him, know the way he tends to shrink in on himself when little kids are running around the diner so he doesn’t seem overly intimidating. 
“Take your time,” he finally manages, attention falling back to me. I’m so distracted by the tension melting in my stomach that I barely register Jason moving towards me. I don’t know what he’s doing until his arm’s comfortably wrapped around my shoulders. Something in my chest jumps. I don’t think we’ve ever touched before. “I can be here all night.” 
He’s so warm. “Shouldn’t be long, babe.” 
“Hm.” He gives my shoulder one last, assuring squeeze before stepping back. He doesn’t go far, sitting at the counter instead of his usual seat in the back. Less than a foot away.
Jason’s proximity gives me the confidence to go through the whole waitress bit, “Can I get you guys started with something to drink?” 
The tall one looks over at his friends, awkwardly clearing his throat before saying, “Could we just get some waters to go? I’d hate to keep you past closing.” 
I now get the concept of scary dog privileges better than ever before. “Yeah, we can do that.” 
The excuse to get behind the counter, back to Jason and Marta is unbelievably relieving. I’m there in almost an instant. Marta’s already pouring water into to-go cups. 
“You okay?” Jason’s voice is low, eyes so soft it’s hard to believe that a second ago he was intimidating to anyone.
I nod once, “Yeah.” And I really am. The group was menacing and they got a little close than most creepy guys do, but it’s not the first time a group of guys found entertainment in terrorizing a waitress at the end of a long night out. “Drunk assholes are just a...work hazard.” 
My attempt to brush off the incident doesn’t seem to work. Instead of easing, Jason’s jaw locks again. “That happen a lot?” 
I shrug, kind of regretting saying anything. It’s not like I’m constantly in danger, but waitresses are easy prey. They have to be somewhat nice to you and they’re stuck in place. And we’re in Gotham, any type of assault case is low on the authority’s priority list, which makes it low risk. “You’re here most nights, Jay, you know it’s usually empty.” 
He nods once, the motion stiff. His unasked question sits between us: what about when I’m not here? I don’t want to get into the whole thing, so maybe it’s a good thing I have to go back and give the guys their waters. It’ll give me a chance to regroup an go back to something lighter. Those guys and all this tension have taken enough of our reunion away from us. 
I look over at the counter and the styrophone cups are gone. The one time I want an excuse to walk away from Jason is the one time Marta goes out of her way to leave us alone.
Marta re-enters the space behind the counter. “They paid, they’re leaving.” As if on cue, the door’s signature squeak overlaps with the last syllable. “And we’re finally closed.”
“Finally.” 
With no warning, Jason leans over the counter and grabs a napkin off of the stack kept next to the soda machine. “You have a pen?” 
What? Before I can ask where the sudden urge to draw something came from, Marta wordlessly hands over the pen attached to her apron. That level of acknowledgement from her throws me through a loop. Technically, she’s not even working anymore so the pen thing was completely voluntary. 
Jason accepts her offer slowly, as if worried that there’s a chance he’ll startle her and force her to either run off or stab him. Marta does give the energy that she could either way. 
“What are you doing?” He doesn’t even have the decency to look up at me in acknowledgement. “Are you trying to draw their faces from memory in case they need--” 
Jason slides over the napkin wordlessly so that 10 evenly written digits face me, two dashes dividing the numbers into two segments of three and one of four. A phone number. “This is--” 
“If anyone like that shows up again, you can text me and I’ll...I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 
The confirmation that this is his phone number hits me straight in the chest, and the reasoning behind the gesture forces the feeling to linger. Here’s Jason, always careful to never reveal too much about himself and he’s...he’s trusting me. I turn my head enough to look at Marta, who just nods patiently. That’s different. 
I pick up the napkin like it might dissolve into nothing between my fingertips. “So basically I call if I have a problem, and you come and beat it up.” 
“Basically.”
I stare at the number again, studying the surprising neatness of the line they’re in like it can reveal something new about the person that wrote them. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but the gesture feels heavy. “Thanks.” 
Jason briefly angles his chin downwards in a subtle version of a nod, “Don’t mention it.” He probably means that literally, so I just set the napkin back down and fold it neatly. “Anything for my fake girlfriend.” 
“Fake girlfriend of two minutes.” 
He leans a little closer, “A natural two minutes.”
I don’t even try to disguise my probably too smug laugh, “For you, maybe.” 
“You caught on a little fast.” I narrow my eyes. “Leaned into--”
“I think the person that gave you that black eye also gave you brain damage.” The jokes are easy to not to mind when they’re about him being obsessed with me, not the other way around.
Jason presses his lips together in what could be either an attempt at sulking or scowling, it’s hard to tell with his eyes that soft. “It’s like being punched again.”
“Dramatic.” I fight to keep my expression flat as I step back from the counter. “I’m gonna change and grab my bag, then you can walk me to my car.” 
He scoffs, a brief puff of air that’s pretending to be more annoyed than it is. “Someone’s bossy.”
I turn towards the door that leads to a small break room, “Fake boyfriend duties.” 
The door to the break room shuts before he can say anything else. I put the napkin Jason gave me into my bag before changing out of my uniform and into sweats. Normally, knowing that I don’t have to work for two days is nothing but relieving. It’s still a relaxing thought, but something about it also makes me feel like I’m stuck. Maybe it’s the fact that Jason just came back and the next time I work will be a lunch shift--which is, for whatever reason, the shift he’s least likely to crash. 
I won’t see or talk to him for a few days, and that’s long enough for him to disappear again. More days, more weeks. 
Forcing those thoughts down somewhere deep, I roll my shoulders before grabbing my bag and shutting my locker. We still have the moments that take to get to my car, and that’s all whatever friendship we have is...tiny moments. 
“Okay,” I announce my return to the main area, “You ready?” 
He’s already standing, the book we never got to held loosely in one hand. “I was waiting for you.”
I hold my hands up in defense even though this is far from his most annoyed response. “Someone’s moody.” 
He sighs, taking a step towards me. I barely have the chance to pull my bag off of me before Jason hooks a finger around it’s strap. He swings it onto his shoulder easily. the walk to the parking lot is short, but Jason always takes my bag. I’m not sure how it started, but like most of us, it happened on accident and stuck. 
“Moody?” 
The word is repeated back to me with an offense that’s punctuated by a hint of surprise. It’s a fair reaction. Now that I’m thinking about it, the word feels like it’s underserving him. It’d be easy to take in Jason’s general vibe and sum him up as mostly angsty or just another tough guy born on the streets of Gotham.
We reach the door. “Eh...you’ve got layers.” 
He almost smiles, “Really?” I can feel his smugness growing and I’m glad that I’m in a position to open the door and step away from it. My hand moves forward. Jason shifts, angling himself in a way that leaves me still. He’s not blocking my escape, not really, but the implication of how close he’s standing is enough to make me still. “What are they?”
The air in my lungs jams itself in my throat mid breath. 
“I’m ready to lock up if--” Marta stops halfway between the tables and the door. Something about her expression makes proximity that felt innocent moments before off. “If you’re ready to go.” 
“Uh--yeah,” I hum, placing a hand on the door, “I’m--yeah, I’m--” I push the front door open as if that will prove my point, “We’re good.” 
Marta nods slowly, “Okay.” 
I walk out and Jason follows. After a second, Marta appears behind us. She mumbles a general goodnight instead of pointedly tacking my name onto it before getting into her car and driving off. 
Jason opens my car door for me. I get in, take my bag back, and turn on my car even though Jason’s still standing there and the door’s still open. “Your tire pressure--” 
I shake my head dismissively, ignoring the symbol that’s lit up on my dashboard. “I’m getting to it.” He gives me a look and I sigh. “I’ll go this week, mom.” 
“Funny.” He leans closer to my car with no warning, head peaking in to examine my dash. Nosy.
“Relax, I got my oil changed.” 
He eases a bit at that, moving back to where he was before. “After I told you to for a week.” 
“It was not a week.” It did come close, though. It was getting close to the end of the semester and my car wasn’t a priority. Plus, Jason’s lectures about it were a little entertaining and gave me another piece of information to file away about him. “Maybe I liked your car rants.”
“Yeah?” 
I shrug, relaxing into my seat, “You knew a lot of technical words.” 
The corner of his mouth turns up slightly, “So that’s what you’re into?” 
“You wish,” my return is a little slower, the early stages of drowsiness finally getting a chance to catch up to me now that things are calm. 
Jason frowns, eyes lingering on my expression. I guess I don’t pass his inspection because he says, “You should get home.” 
I nod, hoping no disappointment is visible on my face. “Yeah, it is kinda late.” My hand finds the handle of the car’s door. “See you around, dork.” 
Jason throws me a look, half glaring, “Night, loser.”
With one last look, I shut the door. I turn my attention to the steering wheel. Just drive. A part of me wants to linger, to maybe say something else. But there’s nothing else. 
In an attempted compromise, I reach into my bag and pull out the napkin. The numbers aren’t as easy to make out in the dark, so I have to squint to type them into my phone. This is normal. I mean, I might have a reason to text him later and if he doesn’t know that this is my number, he might ignore it or miss it or--
Ugh. Before I can over think it, I type a short text: it’s Y/n. Even though there’s no way for that to come off as weird, I’m glad I have an excuse to shove my phone back into my bag and not look at it for at least 15 minutes. 
----
This bag should be called the black hole, because the moment you need something, it’s swallowed into an abyss. I’ve found multiple sticks of gum, a handful of change, and a chapstick I thought I lost weeks ago, but not my keys. 
I sigh, picking up my phone so that I can use the flashlight. Before I can swipe to get the option, my attention shifts to the recent notifications. Two texts my phone has labeled as being from maybe: Jason. The first his just his name. The second is a longer message saying that I already knew that, because he’s the one that gave me this number. It’s a distinction that’s so specific and particular it’d feel a little awkward coming from anyone else. 
I let myself think about it for a second before swiping the message open. I type out a reply before erasing it. Another moment of deliberation passes before the words come to me. I type it out and hit send in the same breath. You’re lucky you’re pretty. 
I drop my phone back into my bag and shift around the contents. The void must have taken another victim, because it’s finally spit up my keys.
----
A/n i could see myself making a part 2 to this where this reader meets redhood and doesnt know its jason bc i was originally going to make this longer, but idk! 
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neverlookatthisblog · 8 months
Text
FairPlay
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Smut
A/N: this is inspired the song FairPlay 🤪
The night you went out with your friends you wanted to spend time the your boyfriend Jason but apparently he had plans
"Sorry babe me and the boys are going out tonight" you mentally sighed lately he's been acting distant towards you
"You promised we would hang out tonight I even got our favorite snacks" you said sadly
"I know babe how about another night I swear I won't make any plans" he kissed your cheek walking out the door
So for a little while you ate the snacks you had bought for you two
Your friend destiny called you
"Y/N get ready I'm picking you up at 9" she said you had no plans of going anywhere
"Where are we going???" Of course you had some questions
"Taking you to this new club they just opened yesterday" you sighed
"And the whole friend group is going so don't worry" she said
"Alright fine I'll start planning my outfit" you agreed
....
While you were in the process in you got a call from your friend Jack
You and Jack were both in the same group that's how you guys met
"Heyyy stinka butt" you said
"Hey stink" he said playfully
"You heard about the club we're going to tonight" he asked
"Yea I was in the process of getting dressed"
"Really let me see the outfit"
"I said process I didn't say I had the outfit on"
"And that's fine I let me see what you have planned"
"No jack"
"Why not?"
"Because I said so-"
"Fine whatever" he said
"Can you let me get dressed and stop playing on my phone" you said
"How am I playing on your phone-" jack loved messing with you
You couldn't take it anymore so you hung up on him and finished getting ready
What you wore
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••••
On the way there you had texted your boyfriend hoping that he was okay
"I'm fine y/n talk to you when I get home🙄" you left him on seen you were just trying to be a good girlfriend making sure that he was okay
"It's Jason isn't it" destiny sigh quickly looking your way while driving
"It's just he's been an ass lately idk but my intuition is telling something isn't right" you said a little worried
"How about you don't worry about him tonight we came here to have fun yeah" she says parking
"Yea" you agree getting out you met Jack,urban,Sabrina and Elena there they were all ready in line
You all greeted each other
"Damn y/n this outfit looks so good on you" Elena says
"Thank you girl" you said
You all made you way inside the club you we're having lots of fun singing your hearts out dancing you did have a couple of drinks because you were out to have fun so why not
It wasn't until Sabrina tapped you
"I don't want you to be blindsided by this but isn't that-" you turned around to see what she was talking about
"No fucking" Elena said
"What an asshole" urban commented
He was in the arms of some long haired blonde girl that wasn't you she had a red dress they were making out
"Your probably mad right now but I just came up with this perfect idea" jack said pulling you to the side away from everyone
"So what's you plan" it was so hard for you not to walk over there and throw hands
"Okay look"
"Jack I don't have time for any games right now-"
"Will you just listen for sec" you huffed
"Okay so boom what if we make out with each other to make him jealous" he said you smiled
"Jack is this an excuse to kiss me or something" you asked
"I- are you down or nah" you agreed to it because you loved being petty
You grabbed jacks hand walking over to the couch where your now ex boyfriend and the girl he was with making out
You sat down on the couch across from them he noticed you of course he noticed you
Jack sat next to you
You made eye contact with him grabbing jacks face and kissing him you still having your eyes on your ex boyfriend
You kissed jack for a good 3 minutes before pulling away you could tell that this got under Jason's skin you smiled he before you jack got up walking away
"Oh my god that was the best plan ever" you said
"I know I know don't thank me" he said you slapped him on his shoulder
"You guys!!! What the hell was that" Destiny said in shock
You guys all talked you felt someone tap you
"Can we talk for sec" Jason said
"No"
"Y/n please" you rolled your eyes you told Elena you'd be back
You walked outside
"What" you said
"No y/n what the fuck was that back there"
"Oh no you don't get to be mad at me when you're the one that was all over that blonde bitch" you said starting to get mad he was trying to turn this on you as if it was your fault
"If anything I should be mad at you because I've been nothing but good to you and this is how you treat me You don't deserve to be with me and we're done so you can pack your stuff and get the fuck out of my house" people around watch you sigh walking back into the club not letting him even explain himself
"Hey guys I'm getting tired" you said it was a lie you just wanted to get out of this environment now after it being ruined
Jack stood up
"Hey urb are you fine with riding with them" he asked urban nodded before you and jack walked out
"C'mon" Jack said leading you out making eye contact with jason as you made it to jacks car he opened the door for you
...
During the car ride you and Jack talked it even got kinda emotional (for you )
"Am I good enough jack" you asked him as he pulled up to your driveway
"of course you are why would you ask that"
"I mean with everything that happened to night I just-" you sighed
"Don't think about that asshole you are more than enough no man should have you questioning your self worth" jack said grabbing your hand for reassurance
"Matter of fact let's not call him a man let's call him a boy because that's what he is acting like" he said
You smiled Jack always knew ways to make you feel better about anything when you are sad
Your mind start think
'maybe jack would treat you better'
'maybe he was the right person for you'
Without thinking you leaned in and smashed your lips against his
You knew after that kiss earlier at the club, it would change forever for the both of you while in the car you couldn't stop thinking about how it made you feel
it was like having your first kiss all over again and you didn't want this feeling to end
You pulled away
"Y/n" jack said
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to I just-" jack shushed kissing you again this time it was more rough and hard you had no problem with it
•••••
You both rushed into the house shoes and clothes on the floor
Jack layed you on the bed after carrying you through his house
Grabbing a condom from his bed side you waited for him
He walked over to you without saying a word he pulled you closer by your thighs
He slowly thrusted into you making you lightly moaned at the feeling of him stretching you out
"Fuck" jack moaned leaning into you kissing your neck making you wetter
"Could you go faster?" Jack nodded his head going faster
"Oh my god J" you moaned you couldn't hold it in anymore the feeling of him being inside you made you go crazy
"Y/n" Jack grunted thrusting hard into you making you gasp
You wrap your legs around Jacks waist making him go deeper thrusting into you
"I dreamed of your legs wrapped around my waist" he jack nibbling on your ear making you shiver a bit in excitement
"Jack!!!" Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he hit your sweet spot
Jack grabbed your legs pushing them as far back as he could
"Damn baby! You're a lot more flexible than I thought"he said
"Now is not the time for jokes Jack-" you said but got cut off when you felt Jack started to rub your clit in circles
"Your right that's why I'm treating you how you deserved to be treated" he said you felt a tear fall down your face because of the sensation nobody has ever made you feel this way
"I'm gonna cum" you warned him but he kept going smiling as he watched you break down over how good it felt
"Come on princess I got you!" Jack encouraged you which helped cause in less than a minute you came undone
Jack pulled out you raised an eyebrow
"But you didn't-" you said but got cut off immediately by Jack
"It's fine don't worry about me just relax while I go run you a bath so you can get clean up
"But I don't even have clean clothes jack" you said you were worrying when you didn't even need to but it was just the way you are
"It's fine I'll let you wear some of my clothes while your clothes get washed now would you stop worrying" he said you nodded he walked into the bathroom
you heard the water start listening to it you felt yourself drift off to sleep that was until you heard your phone dig
It was a text from Jason that read
"Can we talk I really don't wanna lose you I love you to much to let you go" you sighed rolling your eyes at the Text you weren't stupid and you sure as hell wasn't gonna take him back
You began to think though
'How long has he been cheating on me?'
You quickly snap out of your thoughts when you see Jack coming out of the bathroom to tell you that your bath is ready you get up with jacks help me getting into the bath
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brucewaynehater101 · 4 days
Note
Imagine Tim holding Brucequest over the Justice League & even Dick & Jason's heads 💀💀💀💀
Heck Tim holding the Timestream incident over Bruce's head because Tim was the only person to actually do anything to save him
((Damian gets a pass because 1. He's a KID whose cult leading gramps was involved, how about No?))
((And 2. The priority for him at the time should have been unlearning the cult teachings of the LOA))
((and also all his other siblings. Alfred too since he has a job dammit))
Tw: Violence
I love petty Tim Drake so much. He deserves to be able to hold his trauma over the people who caused it.
Jason takes the last cookie? "You might as well take me back to Titan's Tower and slit my throat again."
Dick tells Tim he needs to go to bed? "Oh. I see how it is. I thought we talked about you questioning my judgements again, but I see I was wrong."
Alfred lectures Tim about his health? "Now you're concerned about my health? You should have thought about that before putting my mental health in peril for my sixteenth birthday."
Bruce is concerned with Tim's workload? "Maybe the next time you want me to take on less work you'll write a fucking letter instead of spreading vague clues no one else believes is actually from you."
As for Damian? They exchange verbal barbs for fun and take notes from each other. It confuses the hell out of the others because do they hate each other, or are they bonding?
Steph and Tim like to get into screaming fights with each other in public. It's never about their actual fights, but they like how Gotham reacts to it (bonus points if they end up in the news).
Tim and Babs try to sabotage each other's unimportant technology. That fifth tablet Babs hardly uses? Bam! Tim's made it so it plays music whenever it's on and the music can't be turned off.
Cass and Tim just make faces at each other. Bruce has been confused as hell when one of them randomly shouts in outrage due to the other twitching their eyelids wrong.
Tim likes confusing and horrifying Duke by telling him fun facts about the family. He'll tell them in the most damning way to watch the chaos. "The scar on Jason's neck is from Bruce choosing the Joker over Jason."
And that is Tim taking it easy on the Bats because he loves and cares about them (and because it's funny).
The JL?
Red Robin terrifies all of the members who doubted him. The terror doubles when they see him happily chatting with YJ or the Bats. The version of Tim the JL gets is a scarily competent and cold persona. They thought he lost the ability to smile until Red Hood (and who let a crime lord into the Watchtower???) grabbed Red Robin a peace offering Zesti.
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mysterycitrus · 5 months
Note
ur nightwing comic pitch looks SO GOOD its driving me insane. for 1 ur kory design is incredible to me and for 2 ur pitch looks like itd shoot me in the heart i LOVE it
ur cast choices intrigue me!!! especially having rose and chris as major players, what made you pick them? based on persephone i wouldve expected to see donna, but i dont she was around in 2011, is that the reason why?
again ur pitch is incredible it just has me 👁👁 i am staring sooo intently. begging to understand. dreaming of mysterycitrus nightwing comic
thank u very much! the positive response to the pitch has been very sweet — im especially glad that it’s resonating with nightwing fans hehehe
to answer ur q — if i were to do more character sheets, donna and vic stone would be first on the list (followed by babs, helena, bea, clancy, tim, and maybe jason or cass or grant emerson). the reason i chose chris kent is because it’s set in post-crisis, pre-flashpoint new earth, but also because chris is a fundamentally more interesting character than jon imo
rose wilson has an interesting dynamic with both dick and roy, and id love to see that come back in a comic. she was lian’s babysitter! dick was an acting guardian for her and she lived with roy for a little bit. i miss them 💔
korys inclusion is honestly more petty — i love her a lot, id love her to be in more solo ongoings rather than just the titans, but also rhato is my least favourite comic of all time and i need her outta there, stat. but also i love drawing her in fun outfits, so that was also definitely part of it lol
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homicidal-slvt · 1 year
Note
Request here: Zalgo, Jason Toymaker, and BEN Drowned with s/o has similar personality as BEN himself as s/o likes to have more fun with them? 🎮
Gaming Party
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SFW Head-Canons
Characters: Ben Drowned, Zalgo and Jason The Toymaker
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Warnings: Just Fluff
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Ben Drowned
The chaos gremlin yet also beyond lazy energy you two have is just- unmatched
You guys constantly compete at everything and get into petty arguments, also a lot of playful teasing
Gummy worms, gamer dates, and way too much caffeine
Zalgo
Most of the time is amused by your antics but sometimes gets annoyed by your laziness, will squirt you with a water bottle if you're getting on his nerves
Loves wrapping you up in blankets like a little burrito, has no idea how to play video games but he'll try- and probably fail resulting in him breaking the TV
Big bear hugs
Jason The Toymaker
He loves you so he tolerates your gremlin side- most of the time
Doesn't understand the concept of video games and won't play with you, however he will sometimes sit and watch you
Will force you to clean up after yourself but if you do well he'll reward you with cuddles and snacks
-
{More Content}
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Text
CreepyPasta Incorrect Quotes Pt. 8
Zalgo: I made tea
The Slender Man: I don't want tea
Zalgo: I did not make the tea for you, idiot. This is my tea
The Slender Man: Then why are you telling me?
Zalgo: It's a conversation starter
The Slender Man: That's a lousy conversation starter
Zalgo: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
---
(Y/N): How petty can you get?
BEN: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about
---
Jason the Toymaker: Have you seen a person named 'Kagekao' around here?
Liu: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Bloody Painter: It looks fine to me?
Liu: IT USED TO BE WATER!!??
---
(Y/N), in the house Sally haunts: I'm going to lock myself in here with the ghosts
---
Jeff: Lui, what if there are monsters?
Lui: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain.
[Later]
Jeff, lying awake at night: I am the monster
---
Masky: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.
Toby, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?
---
Lui: You kidnapped (Y/N)? That's illegal!
Clockwork: But Lui, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing (Y/N) or destroying our dreams?
Lui: Kidnapping (Y/N), Natalie!!!
Kate: Lui, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!
Lui: What, to kidnap people?!
Clockwork: To work together!
Lui: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!
Jane: Lui, we all agreed a celebrity is a not a people.
---
Hobo Heart: What if people had food names and food had people names?
Jason the toymaker: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Helen for dinner.
Bloody Painter: What is wrong with you people?
Kagekao: Shut up, chocolate.
---
Nurse Ann, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you're doing it all wrong.
---
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
(Y/N): I will not let you down.
Jame: Sounds fun.
Hobo Heart: K.
E.J: No, I'm fucking not.
Dr. Smiley: Do I have to be?
Lui: Please god, I am so tired.
---
The Puppetteer: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?
Bloody Panter: I feel like we've all done that at least once
Judge Angels: I ate it too-
Bloody Panter: See?
Judge Angels: -On purpose
The Puppetteer & Bloody Panter: ...What?
---
BEN: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.
---
Toby: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person
Toby: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
---
Lui: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-
Jeff: Spiders?
Lui: Spiders it is then.
Zalgo: No, that wasn't-
*Lui then pours Jeff a brimming glass of spiders*
---
Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?
(Y/N): Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.
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