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sister-lucifer · 2 years

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Teacher’s Pet(s)

toby x male reader x tim

reader uses he/him and has a penis

genre: smut, some fluff

content/warnings: college au, tim is a professor but everyone is adults, threesome, dub con if you squint but not really reader is just nervous and shy, they do it on the nasty school floor which i think should be a warning

To avoid any confusion, in my headcanons Toby has a stutter as well as but separate from his tourette’s. I am not writing his tics, I am writing his stutter.

When you heard your professor was being replaced, you immediately became worried. What if the new professor was mean? What if he was lazy? What if he was always late?

What if, what if, what if?

But Timothy Wright was none of those things. He was always on time, he made sure that everyone understood the material no matter what, and he always went the extra mile. He was perfect, and you always made an effort to tell him how much you appreciate him.

When Tim heard that he and Toby were going undercover at a college to collect data on one of the students, he groaned. What if he had to deal with noisy kids? What if there was needless drama that Toby would undoubtedly get caught up in? What if their target was some annoying bimbo with a hollow skull?

But that certainly wasn't you. On the contrary, you were an absolute sweetheart; you wanted nothing more than to help, and you made Toby so happy. Ever since the first day they both showed up, you'd never questioned Toby's tics or odd little habits, and you'd always stay after class in case Mr. Wright needed any help.

Toby wasn't particularly thrilled about the mission either. His only memories of school were bad ones. What if he got made fun of? What if he got angry and blew their cover? What if being around you was unbearable?

But none of those things happened. Instead, the first time Toby walked into class, his eyes immediately locked onto your smiling face. When he was done awkwardly introducing himself, you stood up and waved.

"There's an empty seat next to me, Toby!" And, of course, he took it. You never looked at him funny when he twitched, and you never laughed at him when he stuttered or struggled to express his thoughts. Instead, you'd gently grab his hand and say, "It's alright, take your time. The words will still be there when you're done."

They both adored you.

Luckily for both them and you, it wasn't looking like you were very interested in the slenderman myth, let alone urban legends. But, even though they were sure you didn't know anything, they were still supposed to see this mission to the end, so they were sticking around a little longer.

"Woah, Toby, are those your drawings?" You half-whispered, trying not to talk over Tim's lecture. Toby nodded, wide-eyed. "They're amazing! I can't believe I've never seen them before. May I?" You gestured to his notebook.

"Oh, uh, s-sure."

After he handed you the book, he couldn't help but look down at the floor. You seemed genuinely amazed, whereas most people would be freaked out by his dark scribbles of ominous figures. It was a little embarrassing to have someone take such an interest in his work.

"You've got a real talent, Toby." You said as you passed his book back to him.

"Um–thanks." He responded quietly, lifting the collar of his turtleneck to cover up his reddening face. "Usually, people think my drawings are weird or scary," He muttered.

"I think they're perfect." You replied, beaming. "Never stop drawing, Toby. You're gifted."

He always thought you were beautiful, but he especially liked how you looked when you smiled at him. He couldn't remember the last time someone looked at him with as much admiration as you did. He couldn't describe the feeling it gave him, but it certainly wasn't a bad one.

Despite how wholesome you were, even in such a sweet moment, his mind began to wander, as it always did when he looked at you for too long. Your perfect face was smiling at him now, but he was imagining it contorted in pleasure as he pounded into your–

The bell interrupted his thoughts.

"That's it for now, have a nice day, everyone," Tim said as he waved goodbye to all of the leaving students, immediately reaching for a stack of papers after. He had a lot to do, and he was already dreading it. Unfortunately, going undercover as a teacher meant he actually had to have something to show for it, or there would surely be suspicion. He sighed as he sat down in his chair, reminding himself that it would all be worth it once he and Toby's plan was set into motion, once they finally had you–

"Mr. Wright!"

Your voice suddenly brought him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see you approaching his desk, Toby trailing a few steps behind you.

"Oh, hello, you two." He said, only giving you a glance before picking up one of the papers in the stack. He sighed again, this time loud enough for you to hear.

"You seem stressed, Mr. Wright. I'm free the rest of the day. Is there anything I could do to help?" You asked him almost every day, and he almost always refused, aside from a few minor errands like grabbing papers from the copying machine or helping him retrieve a book. This time, though, he nodded.

"Actually, that would be very nice. I've got a lot to do."

He watched your face light up as he spoke. You were such a teacher's pet. His gaze slowly fell from your eyes to your lips, taking in every move they made. Just like the rest of you, they were beautiful. Their shine caught the light just perfectly, and he couldn't help but imagine what they'd look like wrapped around his–

"If a-all you're going to be doing is chores, I'm out!" Toby called over his shoulder as he headed towards the door, flashing Tim a knowing smirk. "Have fun!"

"Bye, Toby!" You replied, waving him goodbye. Tim didn't bother waving. You would all see each other again soon enough.

"So, Mr. Wright, what can I help you with?"

A couple hours had passed since class ended, and both you and Tim agreed you'd been rather productive. Tasks that usually would've taken him days, although it would've only taken less than one if he wasn't such an awful procrastinator, were done in fifteen minutes, and getting to be alone with you was certainly a bonus.

"There's only one more thing, then I'll let you go free." He joked.

"Don't talk like that, Mr. Wright; I'm here because I wanna be." You insisted, sliding a book back into its place on the shelf. Your words instantly replayed in his mind.

You're here because you want to be.

You want to be here.

You want to be here with him.

"What else do we need to do?" You asked, turning around and looking up at him.

"Oh, uh, I need to get some papers from the copying room. I have a lot more than usual, so I figured an extra pair of hands would be helpful."

He had hardly finished his sentence before you headed to the door, pausing to hold it open for him before you were both making your way down the hallway. A very comfortable silence fell over you both as you walked, simply enjoying each other's presence. Forcing any small talk would make it awkward.

"After you," Tim said, opening the door to the copying room and stepping to the side for you. You gave him a polite nod as you passed, watching as he took the paper he'd brought with him and copied it. The machine beeped and whirred in protest.

"Damn this old thing." He muttered, but it seemed that one good hit was enough to get it going again. "There are two copies per person in every class, so there's gonna be a lot. I really should've split the load, but, y'know…" He trailed off.

You managed to keep a conversation going for a few minutes before the door creaked behind you. You turned around to see Toby standing awkwardly in the doorway, and he waved when he locked eyes with you.

"Toby? What are you doing here?" You asked.

"Oh, I-I uh, left something in the classroom, and I s-saw you guys when I was passing by since the door was half-open. I figured I'd s-say hi."

You accepted this explanation and turned back towards the machine. You didn't notice when Toby shut and locked the door behind him, and you didn't see the nod he exchanged with Tim.

They were both ready.

"So, what's up?" Toby asked, putting his chin on your shoulder. He expected you to pull away or tell him to cut it out, but you gladly accepted the gesture.

"I'm helping Mr. Wright take some papers back to the classroom." You looked back up at Tim, and he instantly averted his eyes and pretended to inspect the papers.

"Is that all?" Toby questioned, turning his head toward you a bit. You could feel his breath on your neck now.

"Um, yeah. We've been doing work for a while, so–"

Suddenly his arms were around your waist, dragging you back a few steps.

"Booooring!" Toby groaned dramatically, and you couldn't help but laugh.

“Toby, cut it out!" Usually, you'd love to see him being so sweet, but you were embarrassed that he chose to do it in front of a teacher. You wanted Tim to see you as a respectable, proper student.

Tim didn't seem to react, though. He only glanced up for a moment, not even long enough for you to notice, before he was back to looking down at the papers.

Suddenly Toby stopped laughing. He tightened his arms around you, pulling you close.

"Toby?" You whispered meekly.

"You know," He began, putting his chin on your shoulder again, nuzzling into your neck. He took a deep breath, inhaling your scent before he continued. "We h-hardly ever see each other outside of class-s."

You looked over at Tim again. You noticed him looking at you before he began messing with the machine.

Why wasn't he stopping him?

He should have been yelling at Toby about school-appropriate behavior, but he let him continue.

You were brought away from your thoughts when Toby's lips just ghosted over your neck. You flinched, and his small chuckle told you that he noticed.

"Toby, stop it."

"What's the matter? I'm f-finally being nice for once. I figured you'd l-like it."

"That's not the issue, it's just–not right now, I'm busy, and Mr. Wright is–"

You trailed off when you looked up to see Tim staring directly at you like he was waiting for you to finish. You couldn't.

Suddenly he was walking towards you, and now you were stuck between him and Toby. Tim put a finger under your chin and lifted your head to look at him. "Mr. Wright?"

"You can call me Tim." He corrected, his face stern as ever. He was much more intimidating like this, which sparked unease in you.

Unease and another feeling you couldn't quite understand yet.

"What's going on?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper, but neither answered. They were both too focused on you. Tim was entranced by how your lip quivered when you spoke, your voice laced with fear, and Toby began pressing firm kisses to your neck and shoulder that sent shivers down your spine.

"Knees." Tim suddenly demanded.

"What?"

"Knees. Now."

This time he put a hand on your shoulder and pushed you down. You didn't fight him; you couldn't make yourself.

You didn't expect them to both follow you to the ground, Toby pushing you over onto all fours. Now your face was just inches away from Tim's, and you could feel his breath when he smirked and let a small chuckle slip past his lips. He grabbed your chin with a firm hand and looked into your eyes.

"Just sit still, alright?"

You didn't respond. You didn't even nod. You were still in shock.

You'd hardly processed his words when you felt Toby's arms wrap around you once more, moving his hands to the zipper of your pants. You glanced down to see Tim's free hand fumbling with his belt, quickly sliding it out and tossing it to the side. His arousal was obvious already, and you could feel Toby's bulge against your backside as he leaned over you.

"I don't understand." You rasped out. You could feel your heartbeat in your chest; it was loud in your ears and made your breath heavy.

When you felt Toby tugging your pants down, you panicked a bit, attempting to turn around, but Tim held you firmly in place. He didn't have to say anything; his stare was enough to make you freeze. You'd known him as a bit of a serious man, but this was completely new, and it lit a fire in you.

He leaned in close, his lips so close to touching yours, and he paused for only a moment to see if you'd fight him. When you didn't, he kissed you, and when you still made no move to pull away, he kissed harder.

It took a few moments before you realized what he'd done, and it took a few more for you to shyly attempt kissing back. Toby had your pants off now, and his hands were rubbing at your bulge, making you moan into the kiss. You heard him giggle behind you. Even in a moment like this, he was still a bit childish. You couldn't have expected anything else.

Tim had unbuttoned his pants and was now hooking a thumb under the waistband of his boxers. He pulled away from the kiss as his erection finally sprang free, cursing under his breath.

The hand on your chin moved to the back of your head.

"Be a good little student and suck it."

"What?!" You yelped but got no response except for Tim pushing your head down.

Toby scoffed as he watched you gawk at Tim's length. "I s-still can't believe you won the coin toss; I wanted his mouth," Toby whined, but he didn't complain anymore as he started tugging at your underwear.

"C'mon," Tim urged, grabbing his cock and guiding it towards your mouth, keeping your head still with a grip on your hair. You hesitantly opened your mouth to wrap your lips around the tip. You looked up at him for approval, and when he nodded, you went further. He let you take your time; he could tell you'd never done this before.

Toby, on the other hand, was not as keen on waiting. He had your underwear around your knees now. He popped two fingers into his mouth to get them wet before shoving them into you without warning. You yelped around Tim's cock, tears welling up in your eyes from the sudden intrusion.

"H-Holy shit!" Toby muttered, quickly pumping his fingers in and out of you. "I can already feel how t-tight you are. It's gonna feel s-so good when I–"

"You're drooling, Rodgers."

He looked up at Tim, ready to be mad about the interruption, before he realized that he was, in fact, drooling. He grumbled and wiped his face with his sleeve, immediately returning his attention to stretching you out.

Tim's grip on your hair tightened, gently encouraging you to go further. You took the hint and went down as far as you could. "That's it," He praised quietly, biting his lip when you swirled your tongue around him.

As much as you were trying to focus on Tim, Toby was making it difficult. He curled his fingers inside you, hitting as deep as he could. It wasn't long before he added a third finger, making scissoring motions and stretching you out. He was still searching for your sweet spot, and when he found it, you let him know by practically screaming around Tim's cock. Toby couldn't help but laugh at you.

"Looks-s like I found something."

He hit it again, harder this time, and you had to grip onto Tim's legs.

Again, again, and again he curled his fingers to hit that perfect spot, loving the way you tensed around him when he did. Tim loved the way it made your eyes roll back in your head as you squealed and desperately gripped onto him for some sort of relief, though he provided none.

Instead, he pushed your head down as hard as he could, forcing you to take him all the way. You choked, trying to protest, but there was no way to do so. Your legs were trembling now, your cock twitching every time Toby shoved his fingers back into you.

As much as Toby loved watching you choke, he could only enjoy it for a minute before he remembered how impatient he was.

"That's-s enough." He said, pulling his fingers out of you. Tim grumbled but nevertheless pulled you off his cock. You came off with a pop, dazed and out of breath.

They only let you rest for a second before Tim pushed you back against Toby, bringing your legs up and over his shoulders. Then, Toby was back to devouring your neck from behind, ripping your shirt open and sending a couple of the buttons flying. Unfortunately, he didn't have the patience to take it off of you.

"Toby!" You screamed, suddenly feeling the cold air hit your chest.

"I'll buy you a new one."

The next moment Toby had his pants and boxers out of the way, and now they were both lining up at your entrance.

"Wait, I'm not–! I'm not…" Your voice fizzled out when Tim leaned forward to kiss your forehead gently. His silent way of telling you everything would be okay, and you knew it. You sighed, reaching up to loosely wrap your arms around his neck.

"Just relax," He whispered. You did relax as best you could, but it didn't last very long before they were both pushing into you. You almost screamed, but the sound got caught in your throat. Tim silenced you with another kiss, a surprisingly caring gesture compared to how they were forcing themselves into you. On the other hand, Toby loved watching you whimper and whine as you struggled to take them. It seriously inflated his ego.

"Look at our p-pretty boy, he can hardly t-take it." He taunted before going back to marking you up.

They only took a moment to rest once they had filled you completely.

"T-Tight–! so fuckin' tight!" Toby muttered against your skin.

It didn't take long before they were both ready to go again, and before you knew it, they were pulling out, only to push back all the way.

"It's too much!" You whined, but it did nothing to discourage them. At first, they were sloppy and uncoordinated but quickly found a steady pace. Just as one of them was pulling out, the other was slamming back into you.

Toby couldn't keep his hands off any part of you. He was feeling around all over you, on your stomach, chest, legs, and anywhere his hands could reach. First, he would squeeze your thighs, then move to your chest, pinching your nipples, then his hands would be rubbing over your stomach, feeling the bulge his cock made inside you.

"Aw, you're s-so tiny! I can feel it in your belly." He laughed, pressing softly on the bump. You let out a high-pitched moan, gripping Tim's shirt hard enough to tear.

While Toby was busy teasing you and spewing obscenities in your ear, Tim hadn't said a word. Instead, he'd kept a firm grip on you, only letting out a few low grunts here and there.

You nearly lost your mind when he wrapped a hand around your cock.

You threw your head back, moaning his name through heavy breaths. "Tim! Too much!" You whimpered, but it only made him pump your cock faster.

Toby snickered at the way you squirmed, licking a long stripe up from your shoulder to your neck.

"I-I can feel him tightening up," He panted. "Is o-our pretty boy gonna cum? Hm?"

You nodded, unable to form words. Your mouth was wide open, tongue out as you panted. Toby drooled shamelessly over your shoulder, watching you fall apart. Neither you nor Tim cared enough to tell him to stop.

"C'mon, pretty boy, make a mess for us," Tim said, pressing his forehead against yours. You could only whine pathetically in response.

You could feel your release building, your words garbled as you tried begging them not to stop. They understood, though.

"Pretty pretty boy, p-pretty pretty boy!" Toby repeated over and over again before he suddenly bit down on your shoulder hard enough to draw blood.

You came without warning except for one last scream, releasing all over Tim's hand.

Neither of them slowed down, but you could feel their pace becoming erratic.

"Goddamn, I'm not gonna last much longer," Tim growled, nuzzling into your neck. His hot, heavy breaths set your skin on fire in the best way.

"M-Me either, holy fuck–!"

Their hips stuttered, and you had no time to brace before they both filled you with everything they had.

It was a wonderful, pleasurable feeling that you would never forget.

"God, fuck!"

They didn't slow down until they were both done, and for a moment making you wonder if they would ever stop. You felt full, warm, and exhausted now that you were coming down from your high. You fell back against Toby, who kissed your cheek lovingly.

"You alright?" Tim asked breathlessly, and you nodded. Toby trailed his tongue over the bite mark he'd left as a sort of apology for hurting you, even though you didn't really mind.

Tim moved your legs off his shoulders and rested them on the floor. All three of you stayed like that, catching your breaths and enjoying each other's warmth.

Finally, Tim spoke.

"We need to get going. We'll both help you."

After they'd pulled out and collected themselves, Toby ran back to the classroom to grab your stuff while Tim helped you stand and get dressed, letting you borrow his jacket since your shirt had been obliterated.

"I've, uh, got a car outside," Tim suggested. "I know you usually catch a bus home, but I'd feel bad just leaving you."

And with that, they both assisted you in limping out to the parking lot, where you laid down in the back seat of Tim's car, almost immediately falling asleep.

"H-Hey, Tim?" Toby asked quietly as he got into the front passenger's seat.

"Hm?"

“Be honest w-with me. On a scale from 1 to 10, h-how mad do you think the boss is gonna be?"

#creepypasta #marble hornets #masky x you #ticci toby #toby rogers #slenderman #tim wright #fluff #smut #ticci toby x you #college au

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theweedisasterxoxo · 12 days

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—

a tiny update on things:

- my moods are still all over the place, and my uncle has been here for a few days because he’s also going through stuff. means i feel less able to wander ‘round in the house because i don’t feel much like talking to anyone other than my mum (mostly because it was so last minute that i haven’t been able to adjust and i really dislike it when my routine is interrupted).

- my flare-up is still wiping the floor with me, so that’s not helping either.

- i’m getting a new tattoo in a few days that i’m looking forward to, it’ll be my second one! the artist is lovely and she worked breaks into it because i get so worried about suppressing my tics that they get worse during periods of time i should be sitting still.

- i keep being reminded of a message from my ex in which he told me he’ll only ever see me romantically (he’s never seen me as a friend, only someone to pursue), and on top of that someone else is pursuing me despite me expressing i’m not into him.

- life just feels so bleh right now. i’m always going to be open about how my disabilities affect me, because i wouldn’t be doing a good job of spreading awareness if i wasn’t. that being said, the sheer displeasure of existing brought on by my FND has really affected me. having OCD, Tourette’s, FND, NEAD, DPDR, and (possibly) autism has really brought me down. i know i don’t have it as bad as other people, which i’m always grateful for, but i often just want to he able to function normally. it heightens how i’m feeling a lot of the time, and pushes me into such a miserable state of existence that makes everything feel worthless. this has turned into a massive downer, so i’m really sorry.

- finally, on a happier note, dionysus was checked over by the vet and her teeth are fine. we were concerned that they’d need to be filed down but since her top-right one has grown back she’s managed just fine on her own!

—

idk, people who might be interested in this update??: @strang3lov3 @endlessthxxghts

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suspiciouslackofclowns · 2 years

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Do you have any autistic steve headcanons? Or any tidbits about steve to share lol i really enjoyed the lil steddie drabble u did!

Always!! I’m a sucker for autistic Steve, I love him so much hehehe

One of his special interests is dinosaurs, specifically dinosaur toys. He collects them religiously and his fav dino is the dimetrodon, so if he ever finds one of those at the store he freaks out and has to buy it. It goes in a special spot on his dresser

He masks a lot, but he has a tendency to let it slip when he’s around the kids, Robin, and Eddie. He’s a lot of fun when he cackles uncontrollably and makes crude facial expressions, and they love him for it because that’s Steve. Not whatever facade he wears normally

Polos and jeans are his go-to because he has sensory issues, turns out. Eddie discovers this when he plays around with dressing Steve up in one of his outfits and he barely lasts a few minutes with all of the rings and layers and belts

Steve likes to collect rocks. If he’s taking a walk through the woods, he can’t help himself if he sees a particularly smooth rock or a funky looking stick, he has to take them home.

In addition to that last one, I think that he got scolded as a kid for filling his room with junk from the woods on his walks home from the bus stop. His dad probably drove him down to the quarry and made him watch as he dumped all of his favorite treasures into the water, never to be found again, and little Steve could do nothing but stand there and cry.

It takes him a while after he eventually moves in with his s/o whether it be Billy or Eddie or both to feel comfortable and safe enough to start collecting again. I like to think that his partner(s) would encourage him to grab pretty rocks and cool sticks, and maybe even gift them to him when they find some themselves.

Steve loves loud noises and flashing lights. He enjoys the hell out of the first Corroded Coffin concert that Eddie invites him to because of it

His comfort movies are Back To The Future and Jaws, which are the only movies that he watches unless someone else insists on something else. Usually Dustin

Eddie enjoys sitting there and listening while Steve recites every line of dialogue perfectly, almost unaware that he’s doing it. He also enjoys the fact that Steve lets his guard down so much when he’s watching his favorite films

When Steve gets excited, he has a tendency to bounce on the balls of his feet and clap his hands. He only does it sometimes, seeing as he masks so heavily in public, but damn is his happiness contagious

His safe foods are mostly comprised of pasta, so that’s practically all he knows how to cook

He eventually gets more comfortable being himself around the people who love him, because these people really love him — not like his parents or Tommy H. “loved” him, but truly and deeply. Without wanting to change aspects of him to make him easier to swallow

Steve laughs his goofy laugh all the time when the kids or Eddie come into the store. He lets his blunt side show when he’s chatting with Robin, knowing that she doesn’t automatically assume that he’s uninterested in what she’s saying, and she continues to ramble on as usual. He actually allows himself to get excited when his special interests are brought up in conversation now

Like I briefly covered in the steddie drabble, he utilizes vocal stims a lot. Either whistles, pops his lips, or clicks his tongue among various other things. Some of them are actually tics, but he doesn’t know that

It takes some time, but he eventually learns to embrace the autistic weird Steve regardless of who he’s around. He collects pretty things from the woods, talks about dinosaur facts and Jaws and Back To The Future without fear of rejection, and his friends love him for it

Autistic Steve is the most interesting, funny, and smart Steve that there is :)) change my mind

#steve harrington #autistic!steve harrington #st hcs #sorry I went a little ham #you got me excited w this one #ask

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inkskinned · 3 years

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she trails one finger down my cheek, sighing. "I'm gonna miss you."

i roll my eyes, lying back against her uncolored bedspread, watching the room settle into the correct form. she always gets like this, right before an Assignment. she takes our Roles a little bit too seriously. my brain is already sloshing with the pacing of the Narrative - a little stilted, a little distant. I'd been in Close Third in the last one, and more poetic. her hands make shadow puppets on the bright pink walls; the room shifts and become covered in art; shifts and become covered in band posters. then back to pink.

she'd been my Best Friend Forever since kindergarten, usually. the oldest we'd ever met each other was in middle school, but that Assignment had been pretty bleak anyway, and she'd only been in-and-out of the picture. I'd barely seen her. i loved her, usually, from the moment i met her - she usually had done something Charming in some way, solidifying our bond for the Audience.

"you're gonna be fine," i tell her. "we'll be back here in no time."

she sighs and curls up next to me, turning so our noses almost touch. she smells familiar, like drying ink. then she smells like mint and mown grass. then she smells like herself, for a second, before she's back to peppermint. "well, you're gonna be fine," she says. "The Main Character always is."

"this again." i roll my eyes a second time. this Assignment feels like it is heavy in the eye-rolling. i had told her before: i'm jealous of her Role just like she's jealous of mine. the Best Friend Forever gets to be quirky, spunky, cute. she always has a personality like a firecracker - even if sometimes that firecracker had a harsh edge to it. in most Assignments, she'd run around, starting - or getting me out of - loads of trouble. she gets to have grand adventures without too much Character Development, which is always painful for me and kind of annoying. she is always Assigned cool interests and hobbies, whereas i can feel my singular Driving Interest crystalizing in my bloodstream. "i think this time i'm Interested in yearbook. Gag me." I mime choking, she wrinkles her little lopsided nose in a giggle.

"you just hate it from stuff that's leftover from your last Assignment, though." she looks up at the ceiling. "you'll be actually Interested soon. in this one i'm gonna have a secret thing about fashion magazines. now that is gag-me."

"remember when you were like, so -"

"like so into porcelain dolls?"

"and i was like, Interested in -"

"you were deep in the paint of effing biology." she wrinkles her nose again, like a little mouse, and i realize i love this new face, the way i love all of her faces. i like this tic she has. sometimes her tics are supposed-to-be-ugly; i love them every time anyway. she's my Best Friend Forever, I can't not love whatever she is. she bites her lip. "oh gosh. i'm already talking like the Assignment. that's quick."

"sounds Young Adult. I haven't been able to swear in, like, a millennia." i don't usually get to swear though, regardless of Audience, since swearing is a Best Friend Forever thing. although sometimes i would be Assigned to just-swear if it was a big-deal kind of moment, and those Assignments were fun. the words would pop out of my mouth like a soap bubble, big and afraid of themselves. and my Best Friend Forever would always look at me, shocked and awestruck.

i loved when she looked at me like that. it wasn't in every Assignment, but it was always so gratifying to be in her eye like that. to be seen, the way a Best Friend Forever sees you.

she takes my hand gently. she's usually a little bit bigger than me, but in this one, she's smaller than average. slim. we're probably going to have a Big Fight about jealousy - whenever she's slimmer, the Audience needs to know she's also Insecure about it. Usually it's the other way around - I'm slimmer, and Insecure that i don't have her curves. in those, she's always "better with boys." until, at least...

like she reads my mind, she sighs again. "I know. i just hate the part where you meet Him."

i'm not startled by how on-the-same-page (ha! maybe i'm Funny in this one) we are. she's my Forever person. the Him changes a lot, but she is a delicate constant. she knows me - even when i'm not-me. or not this me. whatever. "i mean, it might be different this time."

she sits up. i sit up too, disoriented by the strange violence of the action. she pushes the heel of her palm into her cheekbone. "it sucks, you know?"

i can tell by how she wrinkles her nose that she is understating it. i've known her Forever, after all.

nose wrinkle. "we're always the most dynamic and interesting part. you and i, and how we grow up together, and how we interact, and how we try to get over the same things. i know we have a lot of Big Fights, but we always end back up together at the end."

it's a sore subject. i betray her a lot for Him. i can't help it. "i know, but maybe this time - i mean, it's not always ..."

her eyes flash while she turns to me. "you just, like, get caught up in Him. every time. and i have to, like, watch you leave."

"i don't always leave." i feel pouty, suspicious that she is right. it is a Main Character thing to be Right in The End, not a Best Friend Forever thing. i don't always do it the Right Way, but I always end up back here, apologizing to her. she always ends up being okay with it, because i'm always Right.

"you do always leave. and it doesn't make any effing sense, because He never makes sense like we do, you know, like... you both are never - like, your Development with Him, is never like, actually...." she moves her hands around in the air as if trying to find the term, but gives up. "the Audience even thinks it."

I hold my breath at her blasphemy. "don't bring the Audience into -"

she grabs at the roots of her hair. "i'm right, though. you meet Him, and because you are a girl, and you are the Main Character, you love Him, and you forget about me." her hands drop to her lap and her thin shoulders pull forward as if she has been suddenly deflated. the anger all seeping out around her. she's usually not able to stay angry at me long - loving me is her Role.

the air feels heavy between us. thick of something unwritten. i don't know the rules of this one. in the space between Assignments, she can be a little wild. her Role doesn't sink her as deep into the Assignment - she has wiggle room where i don't.

i try to tease her, nudging her with my shoulder. "i didn't realize you had a jealous Assignment this time."

she looks up at me. biting the inside of her cheek. i can see her jaw working against the muscle. "i'm always jealous," she whispers.

"that's natural," i assure her. "it's a Best Friend Forever thing. I'm always jealous, too, just a little. you know that."

"it's because we actually see each other. because we actually know each other. because we're made for each other." she doesn't drop my eyes. her hands take mine again, warm and soft. again, that feeling that she is a familiar love - a long love, a deep love - comes sloshing up inside me. i was made to love her, and i was also made to betray her. in order for the Character Development to work, i have to love her hard, so it hurts when i choose Him. she has to love me hard, too. "it's..." she breathes deep, as if through a choke. i wonder how much longer before we'll be in the Assignment, and unable to talk like this. it can't be much longer at all. "it's just stupid. every time, you see Him, and for no reason, he's just better and you leave and -"

"you know i don't want to hurt you, though!" it's an old argument. i feel the pattern of it, glad to be back on script. "you know i never -"

"you just see Him, and it's like magic, and it doesn't mater that He makes no sense - "

"it's about growing up! it's about Character Development! it's not about you, you know that, i love you, i just always Love Him, and -"

"and i am jealous -" she grabs my face, desperate, her voice thick. the room around us starts to shift, and i can tell by how it is pulling itself together that it's solidifying into the Assignment. someone is writing us into a space. her words are garbled for a second, and i feel the hair on the back of my neck rise as she fights the Assignment.

"we're gonna be okay," i promise, "i'll love you the whole time, you know that, even if -"

when she kisses me, something happens in the pit of my stomach. i've been Kissed many times, by many Hims. it is sometimes electric, dizzying, powerful. it is sometimes cataclysmic. it is sometimes rushed, hurried, overwhelming - sometimes harsh, dominant. i have been Kissed until i saw stars, and Kissed perfect.

this is not that. i don't have words for this. i have no narrative. there is only her, and only me, and no story, her hands on my cheeks. i realize, in the seconds we have - she's crying.

then i am on her bed again, which is pink and purple patchwork, and she is across the room, lying on the floor, kicking her heels up while she reads a magazine lazily. we've known each other from preschool, when she punched someone for stealing my candy. we both got detention - who knew preschoolers could get detention - and we'd be inseparable ever since. she listens to loud music but loves fashion magazines; and i love her.

she's saying something, but my old phone pings, lying on top of the Yearbook editing i'm doing. i look down, frozen. she asks me something, but i can't hear her, staring at the notification on my screen. i don't even notice her getting up to investigate.

her hair tickles my cheek while she reads the phone over my shoulder.

she grins. "oh my gosh." she says. "you got invited to the party, holy guacamole. do you know who's gonna be there? baby, you need to go."

i know i need to. after all, after a little complaining, i am going to go. we will try on all her clothes first. and while i'm there, i'll be a Main Character, and not-quit-fit-in.

and while i'm there, i'm going meet Him. and it will be Magical. for some reason, there are tears pricking at the side of my eyes, even though i have no idea why. this story is funny, and light, and amusing.

she grabs my hand, and she is warm, and familiar, and i feel Insecure that she's so thin. i feel Insecure - and - something - a memory, or a -

"come on," she says, and, for a second, something in her eyes is deeply sad, and the time between us feels like fraying satin.

but then she breaks out into a grin. "i know just what to dress you in. i can't wait. you're gonna meet Him."

#sorry mobile users #this does have a read more but tumblr succcksss #short story #fiction #spilled ink #prose #me: im gonna write a funny post about like #how fucked up straight media is #me: hang on what if i spend 2 hours writing THIS inSTEAD

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

Note

hi! request for one where reader struggles w depression a lot but hides it, tho it’s been getting worse recently and only bucky has noticed the small signs. then one night after no one seeing her the whole day or maybe something happened he went to check on her but she wasn’t in her room and he panics only to find her on the roof and just talks her down <3 all the love

Of course! I hope you're okay love❤❤❤. I saw another anon request something a lil similar in my ask box but I can't find it, maybe it got eaten, but I hope you like this!

Word count: 3,400 (ish)

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, depression, close to an attempt, Bucky talks about HYDRA, feelings of worthlessness.

A/N: This deals with very heavy subject matter, please do not read if you are in a dark place. I am here to talk if you want but I encourage you that if you feel this way in ANY way, no matter how severe, to reach out to someone. I also just wanted to say that the way someone talks someone down is never the same, some people may find a different approach more helpful or realistic. I wrote it this way because this is what I feel in my experience would have been helpful to hear. So please, if you don’t think it’s the way someone should talk someone down - please don’t come at me for it.

Overnight

People often don’t notice the small signs. The smiles that don’t reach the eyes, the dark circles from lack of sleep, the laughs that slowly become more forced. People don’t often pick up on those things right away. They happen slowly, as depression will often manifest. It’s rarely ever a flip of a switch shut down, happy one day and sad the net. Anxiety was like that, small things can trigger panic attacks. But with depression, it was this slow ache that grew in your chest, this dull cloud that made everything darker day by day.

These things rarely happen overnight.

You don’t know what caused this episode. You had struggled with depression and would go through some really low episodes before returning to baseline. It was never great, but it was...manageable. Most of the time. Some things could help you predict when you would go into another episode but you felt yourself slipping and you weren’t quite sure why.

You started withdrawing from the team. Subtly, not all at once. That would cause too much concern and the last thing you wanted was to be a burden. Especially with something like this, you didn’t even have an explanation.

It started slow, training on your own, missing team dinners, that sort of thing. If they were going out to celebrate or staying in for a movie you would slip away to your room where you didn’t have to worry about hiding it.

You didn’t want to be alone, you already felt so goddamn lonely. But somehow being lonely and surrounded by people who loved you hurt more.

The team chalked it up to you wanting to be alone, a bad day, being tired, etc. Whatever recycled excuse you gave them didn’t phase them. At least, not at first.

See, people who have experienced similar things will pick up in the small signs that others show. Someone who knows what anxiety is like will often be the first to pick up on nervous habits and tics. Often people notice when someone’s energy is coming from adrenaline and caffeine rather than sleep when they’ve done the same thing. Someone who knows what it’s like to feel hopeless and not want to reach out - they notice the small signs of withdrawing.

He noticed pretty early on the change in your demeanor. You had always been one to keep to yourself but this was different. You always seemed exhausted in a way that sleep couldn’t ever fix. Your laugh wasn’t quite the way it used to be, now forced and short, not the usual bubbly laugh it was.

Most people are able to just live and go about daily functions - eating, sleeping - it just came naturally to them. Surviving was natural to them. But it seemed like you had to put thought and effort into surviving.

Which, you were.

Slowly it became hard to motivate yourself to do the basic things to take care of yourself. You would do the bare minimum because you had to, but even that was starting to take more effort than it should. You were eating less because you just weren’t that hungry, but you still did because you knew if you didn’t you’d get sick eventually. You spent as much time in your bed as possible, but not much of it was sleeping.

Bucky picked up on these things and came up to talk to you about them, but you’d smile and shake your head.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired I guess.”

You weren’t lying, you were tired - emotionally more than physically.

Tired of more than what the day brought - tired of yourself, of your emotions. Tired of the way you felt so out of touch with yourself, out of control. Tired of how you wanted to get better but no matter what you did, it still came back. You were so tired of being exhausted all the time and there was nothing you could do about it.

You were tired of living this way.

You weren’t necessarily suicidal, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to live. You just didn’t want to live this life, not like this. You were so utterly exhausted day in and day out, every day was about getting to the end of it. Everything seemed pointless and you felt like you were watching life go by but you weren’t living it.

You were surviving. And you didn’t see much of a point to it anymore.

Your mask was cracking. And people were noticing.

Maybe it was when you were falling asleep during mission briefings, or nearly passing out in training because you had forgotten to eat. Maybe it was how no one saw you anywhere that wasn’t necessary. The team passed it off as a bad day or week, something you would get over because you were strong.

But apparently not the strong that you needed to be. You could fight off agents, assassins, you could run for miles. But you couldn’t stop your mind from telling you that life was pointless and you were a waste of space. But the team wrote it off as a bad week. But Bucky knew that this had been going on for much longer than a week.

These things rarely happen overnight.

Too many people were asking you if you were okay, and you weren’t, but you didn’t know how to say it. But you thought that if you had to choke out one more “I’m fine,” you would shatter. And you weren’t ready for everyone to see that.

You stopped coming out of your room unless it was for the bare necessities. You would come out at night for water and food, picking at it in your room so that no one would see you.

But that only made Bucky worry more.

The team, again, wrote it off as you needing some “Alone time” because maybe you just had a “bad day”. Of course they worried about you but they thought that if things were bad, or if there was something you needed help with, you would speak up. Because that’s what you did.

But Bucky was worried. He knew that when someone pushes people away, they may think being alone will help, but it only makes it worse. You may not want to talk to anyone, you may think being alone is what’s best. But it rarely is.

Being alone makes it harder to fight your demons. They can run rampant when given the chance. Being alone is the darkest and loneliest hell, and he knew that all too well.

He wasn’t going to leave you alone in that.

He came up to your room one night, wanting to check on you. He knocked on your door, being met with silence. He knocked again, calling your name, but was again met with silence. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked, opening the door to an empty room.

Where the hell were you?

You weren’t anywhere else in the tower, so where were you?

Bucky stood there for a moment, confused before he remembered the AI system. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.Where's y/n?”

“I believe that they were heading up to the rooftop about a half-hour ago.”

Bucky’s eyes widened as he sprinted out the hallway and towards the stairs.

---

You looked out over the street, arms crossed over your shivering body. For now, you just looked down at the city below. You chuckled bitterly to yourself. There must have been thousands of people down there, thousands of lives, and you wondered how many people felt the way you did right now. So much hustle and bustle, things to do and places to be. You didn’t know a single person down there, it was just a blur of movement. Yet they all had their own personal stories and hells and blessings and shit that made them who they were.

You wondered how many of them pretended like they were fine.

You were standing closer to the edge than you should’ve been. You weren’t doing yourself any favors. You really shouldn’t be up here, but you didn’t know what else to do. Everything hurt all the time and it was just getting worse. You didn’t know whether or not you were gonna jump but here you were, teetering on the edge. Because no matter how much this hurt you still couldn’t bring yourself to fall forward.

You were scared.

You felt tears sting your eyes, angry, exhausted, everything - you couldn’t do anything right anymore, you felt no purpose, you were tired and scared all of the time. You felt so utterly done with everything, yet here you were with a way out and you were too scared of that too.

You were trapped in your body, trapped in your life, and while you didn’t want to die, you didn’t want it to hurt anymore. It wasn’t that you had nothing to live for. It wasn’t that you had nothing left. You knew you did, you knew the team was there for you. You had more support than you could ever need. But you didn’t know how to use them.

You didn’t even know how this happened. How did things get this bad? You remembered when you were happy, the person you used to be. The person everyone still seemed to think you were. Where did they go? What happened to them? And would you ever be able to be that person again?

Did it even matter? Would anyone even care or notice? They did a great job at ignoring what had been happening. Not that you wanted them to find out in the first place. It was so confusing, you wanted to scream for help, you wanted someone to just fucking notice or something. But didn’t you also answer every single “Are you okay?” with "Oh yeah I’m fine, just a little tired.”

So did you truly want them to know? Did you actually want them to notice or help?

You closed your eyes tightly, shaking your head a little to yourself. It was all so confusing, so frustrating. You didn’t know what to do. You felt completely trapped within yourself.

These things rarely happen overnight. And they never get better overnight either.

You took a breath as you looked down, toes slightly off of the ledge. One step or losing your balance would be all it would take. And then it would be over. Forever. It wouldn’t hurt anymore.

“Y/n?” you heard a calm, albeit nervous voice speak from behind you.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. As you squeezed your eyes shut. “No,” you whispered to yourself.

“Y/n, can you come down from there?”

“Why are you here?” you asked, voice strained with pain.

“Because I’m worried about you,” he said, voice sounding closer.

“I don’t want you to be worried about me! I never wanted anyone to worry about me!” you exclaimed.

“And where did not talking about what was bothering you get you?”

“No one would ever have to worry about me again. Not anymore.”

“No one on the team would ever be able to stop thinking about you,” Bucky started, walking closer to you. He spoke gently, worried he would scare you or you would suddenly jump off. “About how we should’ve worried about you. Everyone would blame themselves and ask themselves if they could’ve helped you if they had seen you were hurting.”

You heard his footsteps stop.

“This isn’t going to solve anything.”

You took a shaky breath. “What else am I supposed to do, huh?” you turned around, back facing the streets below as Bucky stood a few feet in front of you. “Pretend like this is gonna get better? Because it isn’t. I’m so sick and tired of pretending like one day everything’s gonna be okay again. It never stops hurting, it never turns off, and I can’t do it anymore!” you yelled, tears streaming down your face. You shook your head. “I know this won’t solve jack shit and it probably makes me weak, but I’m okay with that. Because I’m past the point of wanting to solve anything. I just want it to stop! Is that too much to ask?!”

“It is if your life is the price!” Bucky exclaimed. “We can’t lose you. You’re a part of this team - this family,” he said a little more calmly, trying to keep his own tears at bay. No one should go through feeling so hopeless, and you were one of the kindest people he knew.

But some of the most kind-hearted people are the meanest people to themselves.

“I’m not here to judge you or try to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. I’m not gonna tell you life is all beauty and grace because it isn’t. It’s okay to be in pain but this is not the way to fix it. I just wanna help you.”

You shook your head. “No one can help me.”

“At least let me try,” he said gently.

“You don’t understand okay? It never stops hurting,” you said, voice cracking slightly. “It always hurts and it's this ache in my chest and I feel like I’m suffocating. No one told me that life was going to hurt, no one fucking told me! They say life isn’t fair, or that life may sometimes bring you down, but they never said that existing would be torture. And I don’t want to keep living if it’s going to hurt this much.”

You saw Bucky’s face fall and you shook your head. “Please just go - You weren’t supposed to see this.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’d rather see you at your worst than not see you at all,” he said. “You don’t have to do this yourself. I know it may seem like you do but you don’t. You never had to, and you never will have to. You have me, us, the team - we’re all here for you but we can’t if you don’t let us. But I’m not leaving you. You’ve been alone for too long already.”

You felt a new lump in your throat, feeling overwhelmed. Trapped between death and your worst nightmare. You never wanted to be vulnerable, you never wanted to hurt anyone with your own pain. But hearing Bucky’s words, seeing the panic in his eyes -

You had already hurt him. And he was right - killing yourself was only going to hurt the team more.

But it just hurt so much.

You had heard it so many times - “think about the impact you’ll have on those you love”, or how “suicide is selfish” and shit - made you feel like a horrible person. Because you did care about everyone, you cared too much. And it wasn’t that you didn’t care about hurting them with your decision - it was just that the pain of staying alive began outweighing the fear of hurting those you loved.

And it was torture.

You wanted to say everything that was on your mind - scream and cry and curse the universe, you wanted to break something, you wanted to be hugged, held, and told it would be okay - you wanted to get everything out.

You didn’t want to be alone anymore.

You’ve been alone for too long already.

You let out a broken sob, knees going weak as Bucky caught you and pulled you into his chest, away from the edge.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” you said between sobs.

“I know you don’t, I know,” Bucky said, holding you tightly as if he feared you would disappear if he let you go.

Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt me was utter bullshit. Because the next words that came out of your mouth hurt Bucky more than anything HYDRA had done to him.

“Please just let me die. Why won’t you let me die? I just wanna die, please just let this be over.”

People didn’t realize what depression could do to a person. Someone who was full of life could end up like this. You don’t know what went wrong or when it happened, but you just felt absolutely broken inside. The kind of broken that can’t be fixed.

Bucky felt his heart shatter, tears falling down his own cheeks at how hopeless you had sounded. He had never been overly close with you, but you were always kind to everyone on the team. And the team had failed you by not noticing sooner.

“I’m gonna bring you inside okay?” Bucky said. You didn’t hear him, crying so hard that you couldn’t focus on anything else. He picked you up, carrying you back into the tower. Bucky brought you back to your room, sitting down on your bed with you. He rubbed a hand up and down your back, holding you tightly as he tried to help you calm down.

Exhaustion overtook you, your body becoming worn out from all of the crying and emotions. You never let your guard down like that in front of anyone, and shame began to overtake you.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen that I’m so so sorry -”

“Don’t,” he started. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No one was supposed to know,” you whispered.

“Why not? What’s so bad about asking for help?”

You paused for a moment, unsure exactly why. “I don’t know - I just feel really weak sometimes?” you said, more of a question to yourself. “Like I know everyone needs help and shit but I didn’t have a reason to need it. It hurts but I don’t know why, I cry when I’m not sad, I just - I’m not in control of myself and I don’t know why and if I can’t explain it to myself then how am I supposed to talk to anyone about it?”

“That makes more sense than you think. All of us on the team, we all go through shit. We see so many horrible things, we’ve been through so many things. We all have something. You have this. It’s okay if you don’t know why you feel the way you do but hurting yourself isn’t going to help anything.”

“I know what it’s like, wanting a way out,” Bucky said and you immediately knew what he was talking about. “Days that I wished Pierce or Rumlolw or whoever would just finish me rather than punish me over and over. It wasn’t that I wanted to die, I just wanted it to stop.”

You looked at him. “I know. But what I didn’t know then was that it would end. I never thought it could ever end or that it would ever end, but it did. And if I had died back then I would’ve died only knowing that pain. I wouldn’t have known that it could get better or that it would. And I’m not saying everything is perfect now because it’s not. But it’s better than it was. Okay?”

You nodded, fresh tears spilling out of your eyes. You knew the torture that Bucky went through, everyone on the team did. It had taken him a long time to speak about it on his own and move through it. But he did.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” you said.

“Talking about it, getting it out is a great start. Talking about it never hurt anyone.” When you seemed a little apprehensive, Bucky added, “I felt alone for so long. Battling these thoughts and memories in my head. They never stopped. But when I started talking about it with someone, and they helped me work through it - I don’t know. It helped me a lot. It wasn’t just me and my thoughts anymore. I wasn’t alone.”

I wasn’t alone

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I’m not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not I’m gonna be right here with you

These things rarely get better overnight. But maybe with someone else, they could get better a little bit quicker.

You gave a small nod. “Okay.”

---

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collecting-stories · 3 years

Text

Purple - JJ Maybank

Request: hey can i request a fic where both jj and his gf are bi. she had come out to him but he hasnt yet and its just him figuring it out and telling her and its a bit angsty cuz he is scared but with a happy ending? :)))

A/N: Hopefully this lives up to your request!

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

JJ was good at putting on a show for the people around him. He could adapt to any atmosphere, had no problem being everybody’s friend. When people outside of the pogues talked about him it was always that he was funny or nice or loud...all just surface traits. They couldn’t tell you anything really about him. Did he like mayo on sandwiches? Did he cry at sad movies? Did he have a favorite song, or color, or season? They could describe him to a T, he was easy to recognize because he was always drawing attention to himself but no one really knew him.

When you’d first started dating him, it was all those surface things that you knew about him too. That he was funny, and charismatic, and liked to be the center of attention. Or at least, you assumed these things about him. He never seemed too bothered by anything and when he did it was like a crack in his armor, like a little piece of himself had been chipped away at until the real JJ showed himself.

It only ever lasted for a second though.

At your second ever date with him you’d been completely honest with yourself, laying everything out for him. You were bi and you’d dated a girl before him. You expected a lot of things from JJ but not how chill he was.

“Kind of expected you to make some joke about a threesome.” You admitted. It wasn’t just him; you’d heard them so many times before that it was just what you’d come to think of as a normal reaction.

JJ cracked a smile, the teasing kind that hid whatever he was really thinking, though you didn’t realize that yet, and replied, “all my jokes about threesomes are tasteful and not...biphobic.” He tested the word like he was saying it for the first time.

“I bet.”

You didn’t know it then, wouldn’t know it for months after, but that little piece of him that was so quiet when you talked to him about being bi, that listened intently and seemed genuinely happy that you had felt comfortable confiding in him, it was a seam in his armor that had split.

Dating JJ was like dismembering a suit of armor but starting at the bottom. It was realizing that he hadn’t actually shown his face to people in years. That all along they’d been looking at a mock-up, a caricature of the real boy. It took months of chiseling away at that guard for you to realize that there was a storm beneath the surface. Noticing the tells, the minute tics that gave away JJ’s less cheerful moods, was something that you became almost an expert in. You started to recognize the bad even when he was putting on a show for everyone else.

“I think you would feel better.” And maybe you were nagging but realizing that the sunny indifference was all a lie made you ache and you just wanted to help him, make him happier in whatever way you could.

“I’m fine.”

“JJ-”

“Why do you wanna talk about it?” He snapped, sitting up a little further in the doorway of your kitchen. The screen had come off it’s hinges a while back so you could only keep the door open if you were sitting in the doorway, like you were now, JJ against one side of the doorframe and you facing him, legs intertwined.

“Cause,” you stressed, “I can tell that something is bothering you and that bothers me.”

“Nothing’s bothering me.”

“If it is...”

JJ sighed, laying his head back against the wood and closing his eyes. You were relentless and determined. You knew something was wrong and had decided that you would fix it, as his girlfriend, as someone he confided in even when he felt he couldn’t confide in his friends, you owed him that much. The absolute care and compassion of someone who loved him. “It’s...something I’ve been thinking about. A lot, recently.” He finally admitted.

“Okay...” You nodded, noting the way he pulled gently at your hand, as if trying to separate the entanglement so that he could run away faster if things didn’t go the way he wanted them too. If they went the way he thought they would.

JJ was good at pretending because he didn’t let himself be alone for too long. The more time he spent surrounded by friends, or high as a kite, or drunk on someone’s bathroom floor, was less time he had to spend with his own thoughts. He could pretend as long as he didn’t let himself linger too long on the truth. But this thought, the one that had been plaguing him for months, wouldn’t leave. No matter how many times he blacked-out.

“You know how you told me you’re bi?” JJ asked, hesitantly.

“Yeah.”

He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, frowning up at the ceiling. You frowned, squeezing his hand to catch his attention. When he looked at you, you smiled. He relaxed. It was almost impossible to see but you caught the slight droop to his shoulders, “I think I’m bi.” He finally said.

“Really?” You didn’t ask out of malice, genuinely surprised that your boyfriend was telling you this and seemed so meager in it. JJ was always confident, especially about liking someone. He’d been completely confident that you would date him and he was right...it was surprising to see him so stripped of that confidence.

“After you mentioned it to me...kinda started thinking about it, about myself and what that meant.” He replied, trying to find the words to express how he was feeling. Relieved to have said it, still scared though. “I just...didn’t wanna tell you.”

“Why?” You asked, quickly explaining, “I mean, you know I’m bi, I told you. I’m not shy about it. Why would you think that I wouldn’t be 100% supportive.”

“It’s just...different.”

“Cause you’re a guy?”

JJ nodded, looking away from you again, “yeah, I mean...I guess it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” you sat up on your knees and shifted closer to him, finally breaking your hands apart so that you could cup his face, making him look at you, “J, it’s not stupid. I’m sorry you were so worried, you shouldn’t have to feel like that. I love you, no matter what you tell me...I would never judge you.”

He nodded slightly, leaning his face into your hand, “I just got in my head.”

You smiled, closing the gap between the two of you so that you could place a kiss to his forehead, “anytime you’re in your head, feel free to share. I certainly wouldn’t mind knowing what’s going on up there.”

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

Note

Hi there ^^ I just came across this Japanese review on levihan's scene in 132 and why Hanji refers to Levi as "kimi". I'm sending you the link. Would you please give us a summary of the discussion? It seems the Japanese fans were uncomfortable by the "kimi & I don't understand why. https://animenb.com/levihanji-lastcommunication-47324/

Oooh anon, thanks for this. This was a really interesting article.

To give some background on 君 (kimi)

There are a lot of ways to refer to someone in second person in Japanese. It's fairly common to refer to people by their name or title instead of using 'you.'

Note: Fun fact about あなた (anata), even though it's translated to 'you' and it's deemed a polite way of saying 'you,' it's not commonly used in Japan as 'you.' I see it used more when wives wanna be intimate with how they wanna call their husbands.

To summarize the article you sent about kimi,

In this last scene, Hange says “This is my first time hearing that from you.”

And in that last scene, she uses an intimate/potentially rude term for ‘you.’

To give a background on what other people would usually call Levi:

Leviheicho: Captain Levi, this is the most professional term. Most soldiers who don’t know him well or most strangers who only know him by name would call him this.

Levi-san: I don’t think I’ve ever heard this said in the anime but strangely, Armin refers to Hange as Hange-san (maybe he calls her Hange dancho too, I forgot) but Levi as Levi-heicho.

Levi: Hange drops the honorifics when she talks to Levi which can mean two things, she’s either in a casual or very close relationship with him. The fact that she refers to Mike, Nanaba and Erwin though by name while dropping titles, shows that basically dropping honorifics is an act of ‘casualness’ more than an act of intimacy I guess.

The article raises multiple points:

For one: Levi and Hange have a special bond. The fact that they’re the only two surviving veterans makes this almost a given.

Hange is Levi’s ‘senpai’ as made obvious by “A Choice with No Regrets.”

Then it begs the following questions:

Isn’t it weird that Hange used ‘Kimi’ when referring to Levi? If that’s her first time using it with him, then why did she wait until the last moment to use it?

Why did she use it? What made her use it?

Take note, the most natural would be for Hange to refer to people by their name, not ‘kimi.’

The next section of the article lists down all of the situations where Hange has used 君 in the manga.

And in conclusion, Hange has a few verbal tics or there are commonalities among the situations where Hange uses ‘Kimi’

Namely:

First meetings with people (Ex. when she first meets Eren)

In a professional setting when talking to subordinates (Ex. When talking to Connie about his mother turning into a titan)

When she is feeling uncomfortable (angry, sad, scared). (Ex: She uses it when talking to Armin after the serum bowl)

When wanting to put her distance between her and other people. (Ex. She referred to Eren by ‘Kimi’ a few times in season 4, also Floch )

When dealing with close friends. (The most natural usage for kimi so this should be expected)

Hange has a tendency to use it with the intention of putting some distance between her and other people and she also has a tendency of using it when she’s feeling extremely uncomfortable.

And another thing people were pointing out was that although Levi was Hange’s subordinate and her close friend, she never used Kimi when referring to Levi.

The only time she used it when talking to Levi directly was in chapter 132, and those were also her last words to Levi.

Note: She also used it in 126, but the author argues that she didn’t think Levi was awake when Hange used it.

In normal circumstances, the final exchange between them in chapter 132 should have been

“This is my first time hearing this from you (Levi)”

「リヴァイが言ってんの初めて聞いたよ」

But Hange used this:

“This is my first time hearing this from you (Kimi):

「君が言ってんの初めて聞いたよ」

Before that scene, Levi said ‘dedicate your heart’ and possibly, during those last few moments, their relationship changed, just a little bit. And maybe if Levi didn’t say those words, Hange would have stuck to just referring to Levi as Levi.

The author suspected that the reason behind this was because form dealing with a secret relationship or secret feelings, Levi managed to confess with ‘dedicate your heart,’ which made it all the more natural for Hange to refer to him as ‘kimi’ after as a sign of intimacy.

One personal speculation I have after reading this is Hange used her commander-soldier relationship with Levi and she used ‘kimi’ like she commonly uses with her subordinates to put some distance between them. She wanted to make the separation as easy as possible, accompanying it with light banter.

Anyway, I hope this helps. Thanks for sharing. This was a really interesting read.

#levihan

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nightowlfandom · 3 years

Text

Kim Taehyung- All Mine

HELLO FRIENDS!!

ANON ASKS

Hello my dear Night Owl. How are you feeling today? 😌

So, I saw your X rated prompt list and I was like "Okay. I need to ask for my idea immediately. I want to see their words on it"

Let's go. Y/N and Taehyung are at a party at a friend's place. Y/N is talking with people and some of them are maybe a bit too close with her so Tae becomes jealous. Even if he knows she didn't do anything wrong, he's giving her a silent treatment while fucking her (in a room upstairs) as he try to contain his moans, trying to be as serious as possible (but can't help to make such sexy faces and saying filthy things... oups 🥵) even if Y/N is trying to seduce him like touching his body or begging him to do some noises bc it's making her go crazy etc.... like he's not harsh, brutal or not calling her bad names (slut etc...) but more like he'll give her the best fuck of all time (to reassure his ego and make sure she's his) + 11, 16, 21, 33, 57 🙇‍♀️💛do you think it's possible even if it's a lot to take please? Thank you so much for your time and efforts! I love you 🧡🧡

This is perhaps the coolest, most detailed (and most considerate ask) I’ve ever gotten. No one ever asks how NightOwl is...I was having a shitty week and now I FEEL GREAT THANKS TO YOU!!

11- Oh god, Y/N…Those sounds you make are so fucking hot

16- I love this...pussy...you like it when I say that?

21- That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you? Look up at me like I’m your god.

33- I really wanna fuck the innocence out of your eyes, cutie.

57- Fuck! You’re mine. You’re fucking mine and I’m fucking yours.

So I’m getting huge frat party, Tae is into Y/N and it’s obvious but of course eh. So she’s like, if he’s gonna be mean, ill be mean back. tease..

LEGGO!!

...

“Come on!”

“No.”

“Y/N, Please?”

“No.”

“Just this once!”

“Nana, for the last time-” you shut your textbook and turned to face her. “I don’t want to go.”

“It’s midterms! They’re finally over! Celebrate for once!” she sighed. Nana was your party-girl super extroverted best friend. The most popular girl in her sorority and by default the most popular in university. “You never actually get to have fun.”

“Within good reason!” you sighed. “A bunch of drunken frat boys, nerds who’ve never sipped vodka a day in their lives going crazy. Not to mention the disgusting smell of Smirnoff Ice?” you crossed your arms. “That’s your crowd, not mine.”

Nana sighed, running a hand through her silky hair. “I know you think that sororities and fraternities are nothing but drunken horn-dogs-”

“I never said that Nana. Those are your friends. I’m the last person you should be seen partying with.”

“Well I want to be seen with you! We’ve been friends since we were in diapers! I just want to spend some time with my bestie.” she stood up. “Just for a couple minutes.”

“Alright you broke me, I’ll go.” you sighed, shoving your book into your bag.

“You will? Really!??” she hopped up. “Y/N thank you.” she took you into a bone crushing hug. “I promise you’ll enjoy yourself.”

You nodded as Nana excitedly told you her outfit ideas. You felt bad. It wasn’t nice to stereotype and yet there you were. Nana was the nicest and sweetest girl, she just loved to party. You promised yourself you’d enjoy yourself, for her sake.

...

You walked down the halls, tapping away at your phone. You passed by the Bangtan Boys, the most well known, most popular, and probably most talented boys in all of the entire school. They would for sure debut before graduation.

“Hey Y/N!!” Taehyung chased behind you in an attempt to catch up. “Hey.”

“Um..Hi?” you raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“I heard you were going to Nana’s party.” he smiled. “I was wondering if-”

“That probably isn’t a good idea...reputation remember?” you glowered.

You and him had went out on one date. One. It was something that you came to regret when he grew somewhat of a reputation, that would soon come to haunt your ass.

“Y/N-” he sighed. “Come on, we can go as friends.”

“To a party...that’s known for people going into broom closets and fuck?”

“Well it doesn’t have to be a broom closet.” he joked, making you scoff. “Come on, just for a few minutes. Save me a dance and then I’ll leave you alone.”

“....Sure, why not.” you gave in. “Just don’t make me regret this decision.”

...(At the party)

Taehyung was fuming. He watched you laugh in a small group of 2 boys and 2 girls. You were laughing at the top of your lungs kicking back a Screwdriver. He was sure that you hated alcohol but apparently not. You were laughing at something that asshole from his dance class had said. You had forgotten all about him.

You were wearing a school jacket (it had been Nana’s varsity jacket that she insisted went so well with the black skirt she stuck you in.) along with a long sleeved black shirt. You were wearing your favorite shoes he always saw you in.

Sure, you two weren’t ‘together’ but IT WAS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. Everyone knew (well not everyone) that you were (not really) his. He noticed one of the guys in particular was getting a bit too flirty for his tastes. You weren’t that funny, but he was laughing as if you were a comedian. You looked like you were enjoying his company too.

No, he couldn’t have that!

He stormed up to the crowd and grabbed you by the hand, pulling you away from your group of friends.

“Hey!” you protested as you were led up the stairs. “Let me go!”

“Quiet.” was all he said as you were taken into a random bedroom. Before you could protest, he crashed his lips over yours. He grabbed a fistful of your hair, holding your head in place.

“Taehyung!” you mumbled in surprise. “What are you-”

He wrapped his arms around your waist as he backed you up against the room door. He pinned your arms above you head. “You’re mine.” he grumbled. “Mine.” he sounded slightly desperate. He kissed down your jawline, down your neck.

He felts your hands lace into his, relaxing into his touch. He would have been happy had he not been so mad at that asshole flirting with you.

“T-taehyung. I don’t think doing this here is such a good i-idea-uuuhh.” you tilted your head back slightly. He suckled on your collarbone, making your legs shake. “Tae- S-say something.”

Without speaking, he helped your out of your jacket, which you complied. Before he could do anything else, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back towards you.

Shit, how was he supposed to focus when you were such a good kisser. You played with the ends of his hair as he played with your tongue. He hummed thoughtfully, almost giggling at your desperation to hear him.

He let a small moan escape his lips as he grinded his body against yours. He kissed down your neck, grinding his body against yours in need and desperation.

“T-taehyungie~” you whimpered. “Please say something?”

The way you said ‘please’. Fuck! How could he ignore that?

“ Oh god, Y/N…Those sounds you make are so fucking hot “ he giggled. “You really pissed me off, Y/N.” he grumbled. He wrapped his arms around you tighter, trailing his hands under your shirt. “Hmmm~” he moaned.

“What did I do?” you stared up at him, pouting. “I was talking to my friends.” His hands trailed under your skirt now. “Uhhnn~” your hips bucked as he scratched your clit through your panties. “You aren’t my boyfriend.”

“I’m yours though.” he seethed. “I don’t want you to look at, or even care about anyone else but me. I don’t want you to look at anyone else this way.” he lowered himself to his knees, with an evil smirk on his face. “ That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you? Look at me like I’m your god.” he whispered as your eyes followed him. “No one else gets you, no one else gets to take you.” he hiked up your skirt. “No one else gets to taste you.”

Tae yanked down your panties, shoving them in his pocket. He wasted no time in digging his tongue into your heat. A gasp ripped through your throat. You could only hope no one needed this room any time soon. He quietly licked stripes up your slit. You let out quiet mewls and moans. “T-taehyungie~” you whimpered.

“ I love this...pussy...you like it when I say that? “ he finally spoke, meeting your eyes. “Y/N.” he grunted, driving his tongue deeper into your core. He suckled at your clit, coaxing the sweetest sounds from you. He couldn’t wait anymore, he had to fuck you.

In the span of ten seconds, you were taken from the wall, thrown on the bed, already having witnessed Taehyung removed his belt and yanked down his pants to his knees.

“ I really wanna fuck the innocence out of your eyes, cutie. “ he gleamed. “You want to get some noise out of me?” he slowly slid himself into you. “Then you gotta make some yourself.”

A small, high pitched gasp escaped you as you tightened around his shaft. “Taehyung.” you whimpered. You felt his nails dig into your hips.

“SHIT!” he growled out loud. “Y/N, FUCK! I was wrong.” he managed to get out. “Fuck I still care about you.” he moaned. “Shit I want you to be mine.” he thrust into you even more. Sweaty skin slapping against skin. “God.” he whimpered. “Y/N!!”

There it was, what you wanted to hear. He crashed his mouth messily over yours again. He practically shoved his tongue through the gap in your mouth.

“ Fuck! You’re mine. You’re fucking mine and I’m fucking yours.” he shuddered, twitching inside of you. “You’re mine.” he thrust harder and deeper. “Only..mine~”

A string of loud curses and moans strung out from the both of you. He pinned your arms above your head, refusing to leave you.

You tilted your head back in pleasure. As he came, he laid sloppy kisses along your neck. You could hear his breathy laughs as he kissed your lips again.

“All...mine.”

...(next day tic tic tic)

“Why hello there, Party animal.” Nana joined your side. “Didn’t see you all night! Did you leave?”

“Nope. I was...with someone.” you trailed off. You wouldn’t admit you were with Taehyung until he did first.

“Hey Y/N, you disappeared yesterday.” that same guy you were talking too before joined both you and Nana.

“She was with me.”

You and Nana both looked up, Taehyung took a seat and through an arm around you. “Hey babe.” he kissed your forehead.

“Oh...I didn’t know you two were dating.”

“We just went public.” he glared in reply. Nana looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “You probably heard us in one of the bedrooms.”

Just as quickly as you calmed down, you were freaking out.

“Wait, that was you guys I heard?” Nana raised an eyebrow at you both. “Y/N?”

“Uh...You know what? Yeah.” you confessed. “No use in lying.”

“Damn Y/N, you didn’t tell me you were with-”

“Well I had to reassure her just where we stood in our relationship.” Taehyung cut the guy off. “I’m sure we’ve established just who Y/N belongs to...”

253 notes · View notes

comfortbucky · 3 years

Note

I asked for the doctor!bucky andd you don't have to write but I forgot to ask... He is like a really busy doctor and it surprises the female reader that he is going to do her stitches... Wanda is his assistant. He has to give you a pain numbing shot in your cut and he comforts you when you scream and writh in pain... Thanks xxx

𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗯 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆｡˚

pairing: doctor!bucky x fem!reader

warnings: descriptions of bloody injuries, medical settings, stitches, needles

A/N: omg i’ve never written for doctor!bucky before so i’m excited hehe :) thank u for ur request! // i changed around who was administering the numbing agent and doing the stitches btw i hope u don't mind, just made more sense in my head for bucky to be able to comfort her if his hands are free!

hope u enjoy! <3 sorry if this isn't that good asjdfhaldf

Y/L/N = your last name

also let me just indulge myself and sprinkle some of my own experiences in this bc a couple months ago i literally slammed my head into a wall and cut my eyelid😃nothing bad enough to get stitches but i do have a scar💗

word count: 2k

my masterlist!

completed requests!

“Y/N! Come quick!”

Y/N was digging through her dresser for a sweater when her roommate, Darcy, called out for her. She lifted her head up and spun it without thinking, completely forgetting that her dresser was situated in the corner of her room, slamming her head into the wall.

Her ears started to ring and she bent over in laughter, her natural response to pain, as tears threatened to fall down her face.

“Y/N?” Darcy was met by silence, Y/N struggling to respond, her body overcome with laughter so hard she was inaudible. Concerned that Y/N had knocked herself out cold, Darcy peeked her head around the corner of Y/N’s doorway, to find her hurled over, a hand over her left eye, drops of crimson blood on the ground.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” Y/N lifted her head, calming down from her fit of laughter, and nodded.

“Yeah, of course, this would happen to me,” she replied chuckling, taking a tissue from Darcy to put pressure on her cut.

Carefully making her way to a mirror, Y/N grabbed her phone on the way. She stared at her reflection and slowly removed the tissue from her face to examine the extent of her injury. It was steadily bleeding, most likely a bad sign. Y/N placed her tissue back over her cut and reached for her phone and Facetimed her friend Matt, an EMT.

“Hello- What the fuck happened to you?”

“Hi Matt,” she replied, shooting him a grin through the screen. “Slammed my head against the wall, by accident.”

“I would hope so,” he sighed. “Let me guess, you’re wondering whether you should go to the ER or not?”

“You know me so well, Matty.”

“Has it stopped bleeding?” Y/N removed the tissue and felt a warm liquid trail down the side of her face.

“No.”

“Go to the ER, please.” She groaned.

If there was one place in the world she despised, it was a hospital. But Y/N knew she wouldn’t be able to convince either of her friends otherwise, and dragged her feet as she reluctantly followed Darcy to her car.

It was a normal night in the ER, which meant a fury of organized chaos. Bucky found himself needed in 6 places, all at the same time. But this was an environment that he had become accustomed to, almost finding comfort in the madness of it all. Although the ER was bustling with patients, there weren’t any injuries that were very severe, mostly just broken bones and lacerations. Simple enough to the point where Bucky felt like he was operating on autopilot mode. Going through the motions of whatever task he needed to do, but not anything more than that. He felt numb. For the last several years of his life, the hospital was all that he knew. Bucky kept himself busy with work, leaving him with only a small social circle and his cat, Alpine. It was enough for him, but he never really felt complete. Which is why he threw himself into his work, drowning out his inner thoughts about a missing piece he never thought he’d find.

“Dr. Barnes, paging Dr. Barnes to bed 25.”

Bucky took a quick sip of his coffee and sighed before heading off to see his next patient. Wanda appeared from around the corner and started walking with him.

“This one’s a simple laceration, just might need stitches.” Bucky nodded in response to her, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

She was one of the select few who he considered a friend. Which was a little odd considering he was an attending and she was only a resident. But she was a good student, a fast learner, and one of the only residents he was ever willing to work with. He took her under his wing, fostering a friendship by spending time together in his office, reviewing various medical cases and files.

“Alright, you up to do them?”

Wanda came to a halt, Bucky taking a couple steps before looking back at her, tilting his head, waiting for a response.

“Y-Yeah, yes!” She stammered. “T-thank you, Dr. Barnes.” He nodded his head and turned back around to continue walking, Wanda close behind.

Y/N was sat on the edge of the bed, one hand holding a blood-soaked tissue over her left eye. Her leg was bouncing, a nervous tic she had developed from a young age. The adrenaline had worn off, forcing her to feel a throbbing pain, her eyes brimming with tears. She avoided crying in front of people whenever possible, so as soon as Darcy left to grab some coffee and snacks from the cafeteria, she let the floodgates open. The sound of footsteps approaching made her freeze and she used her sleeves to sloppily wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face.

“Ms. Y/L/N?”

A firm, but somehow also gentle, voice called out to her before the curtain was pulled open to reveal a tall man with dark brown hair, a stubbly beard, and stunningly blue eyes standing next to a woman with blazing red hair and contrasting green eyes. Y/N’s gaze was immediately fixated on the man’s eyes, unable to look away for a moment, before she realized she was staring. She quickly looked down and cleared her throat.

“Y/N, you can just call me Y/N.”

The man nodded and set down his clipboard at the end of the bed before speaking.

“I’m Dr. Barnes and this is Dr. Maximoff.” The woman gave a slight wave as she began charting on a computer. “Can I take a look at your eye?”

Y/N nodded, feeling her anxiety rise as the doctor pulled some gloves on and approached her.

He pulled over a stool to sit on and carefully removed the tissue that Y/N had been holding in place to assess the injury. While Bucky looked at her cut, he stole a glance to study the rest of her face. He couldn't help but take note of the pained look on her face, her eyes still watery and her button nose red from crying. It was the first time in a long time that he felt a twinge of pain while looking at someone's injury, that he felt practically anything at all during a shift. She felt his warm breaths on her face for a moment before he pulled away and replaced her bloody tissue with some gauze.

“Do you mind if she takes a look as well?” Y/N nodded again. Bucky got up from the stool, allowing Wanda to take his spot and assess her eye.

“So it looks like you just need 2 or 3 stitches, very simple procedure.”

Y/N felt her entire body tense up at Wanda's conclusion. She could barely stand sitting in a hospital bed alone and now she was about to get poked and prodded with needles. Bucky noticed and attempted to ease her worries.

"We'll administer a numbing agent, so you won't feel any pain, just pressure at the site."

She looked up at Bucky, who had a kind, tired expression on his face. It looked like he was having a long night and she didn't want to make his job any more difficult than it probably already was. Y/N gave him a small nod and Wanda started to gather the necessary supplies.

She laid back in bed with Wanda and Bucky sitting next to each other on her left. Her hands were folded on her stomach, eyes shut.

"You're gonna feel a slight pinch, okay?" She nodded and bit her lip to try and distract herself.

Wanda proceeded to administer the numbing shot and Y/N squeezed her hands tight, whimpering in pain. Bucky observed the pained expression on her face and placed a hand on her forearm, reflexively rubbing his thumb in small circles. When Wanda pulled the needle out, Y/N slowly fluttered her eyes open and was greeted by Bucky's warm smile. A blush crept to her cheeks and she turned her attention to the ceiling. Immediately, Bucky realized how unprofessional his action was and removed his hand. He had no idea what had come over him, but he'd never felt so drawn to someone like this before.

"Now I'm going to do the stitches, okay? You should just feel a slight pressure." Just as before, Y/N shut her eyes after Wanda spoke and gripped her hands tight. She felt the pressure that Wanda was talking about and couldn't help but squirm at the feeling. Another wave of anxiety rushed over her and she felt herself start to hyperventilate.

Wanda removed the needle and quickly turned to Bucky, a panicked look on her face. He gave her a reassuring look before speaking softly.

"Y/N? Do you think you could hold still for just a little longer?" She opened her eyes, brimming with tears.

"Sorry, I just, I hate needles." Y/N fiddled with her hands as she kept her gaze up, trying to avoid the tears from escaping. Bucky felt his heart sink in his chest at the sight.

"What do you think would help you relax?"

Thoughts ran through her head as she tried to find a solution to relieve her anxiety. Y/N thought back to when she was young and chuckled, remembering a stuffed whale that she got at an aquarium, that went everywhere with her.

"This is stupid but, when I was a kid, I would carry around this stuffed animal around and it helped to hold it whenever I had to get shots."

Bucky thought for a moment and ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he was going to regret the words about to leave his mouth.

"You could hold my hand."

Y/N and Wanda both looked at him with surprised expressions, regret instantly hitting him.

"If you're comfortable with it," he quickly clarified. Y/N felt the corner of her mouth curve into a smile as she nodded.

She laid back down and Bucky took her hand in his. The instant transfer of heat soothed Y/N and she shut her eyes to allow Wanda to get to work.

When she felt the pressure on her eye again, her hand automatically gripped Bucky's tighter, and he squeezed it back to help calm her. Y/N focused on the callousness of his hands, how his hand seemed to fit into hers perfectly. Suddenly, she was thinking about his eyes again, those glimmering blue eyes. Blue was always a calming color for her, reminiscent of her trip to the aquarium where she got her beloved stuffed whale. As she felt Bucky's thumb gently rub the top of her hand, she realized that her whale could never provide as much comfort as he did.

Bucky felt a sense of pride as he watched the tension in Y/N's face disappear. Suddenly, he found his eyes wandering, looking at the loose strands of hair on the right side of her face, the rosiness of her cheeks, how she glowed. His heart started to palpate and Bucky realized a flame had kindled inside him. He was feeling again.

"All done!" Wanda chirped, stepping aside to let Bucky check her work. He smiled at her patted her on the back with his free hand.

"You did good." Wanda beamed and thanked him, walking away to complete her charting.

Y/N's eyes fluttered open, still feeling the warmth of Bucky's hand in hers. He greeted her with a tender smile and slowly helped her up, placing his other hand on the small of her back.

"See? Wasn't that bad after all," he grinned, releasing her hand. Y/N's smile faltered, missing his touch, and nodded.

"Thank you, Dr. Barnes."

"Bucky," he stated. She raised an eyebrow. "Call me Bucky."

The pair stared at each other in silence, enjoying each other's presence before the PA system snapped them both out of their trance.

"Dr. Barnes, paging Dr. Barnes to bed 16."

Bucky sighed, slowly getting up from his seat.

"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Y/N."

"You too, Bucky."

He turned around and was about to pull the curtain open when he paused, turning back around to face Y/N, scratching the back of his head. It took one look at her face and Bucky knew he didn't want to let her go just yet.

"Would you like to get coffee sometime?" She beamed up at him and Bucky felt his knees go weak.

"I would like that very much." He chuckled in disbelief and smiled.

Bucky had finally found his missing piece.

231 notes · View notes

absolutelyfizzing · 3 years

Text

I like you because (peter parker x reader)

Peter parker x reader

description - You have a panic attack at school and peter helps you through it. Then he lets you know all of the reasons he loves you

word count - about 2000

warnings - anxiety! panic attack tw! negative self talk, don't read if that is triggering for you. Also tooth-rotting fluff that makes me wanna cry. also self harm warning!! hand scratching!

A/N - I just wanted to say that anxiety manifests itself in different ways in different people. This is based off of a personal experience i had with a panic attack at school and how one of my friends helped me though it. I know this may not be how everyone experiences anxiety and everyone's version of this experience is completely valid. by no means am i trying to offend or cause any harm.

MASTERLIST

Your feet hit the pavement quickly as you rushed to school. You could feel people looking at you but you tried to get to your locker as soon as humanly possible. Your heart rate was picking up and you knew you were acting strange to the people around you. You looked exhausted. Your eyes had bags under them and your clothes were a mess. You couldn't walk straight because of the lack of sleep. When you finally made it to your locker you were so out of it that it took multiple tries to get the code right. Finally getting it open, you sighed, trying desperately to hide behind the locker door and to calm your breathing.

You didn't know why but the last 2 days had been hell. It had been the weekend so it was okay but you hadn't slept right or had the motivation to do anything. Your anxiety was worse and it seemed that everything was too bright and too loud. There was just too much going on. You just wanted to sit in your room and stare at the wall for the rest of the day but you had to come to school, both for your academic performance and to see your boyfriend, Peter. He would get worried if you didn't show up and you didn't want him to have to cancel something later in the day to check on you. Now that you were here and you could feel people looking at you, you wondered if him seeing you would make him any less worried. You felt him come up behind you and when you turned to look at him there was a grin on his face. It quickly turned into worry as he looked at you. You felt the guilt creeping in.

"Hey Y/N, you doing okay?" he questioned lightly. You subtly braced yourself and smiled widely, purposefully making it reach your eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine! Just in a little bit of a mood is all." You smiled, grinning so wide your cheeks hurt. You had to convince him not to worry. You couldn't have him distracted during the day because he was thinking about something so silly as you being extra anxious. You hoped the thumping of your heart and the nervous ticks you felt in your fingers would dissipate during the day. Peter looked at you a little funnily but didn't question you. You knew he could probably tell your heart rate was pounding extra fast but neither of you said anything as you closed your locker and you both began walking to your first class, which you had together.

The day went on but the anxiety did not leave. You could feel yourself growing irritable and the lights burned your eyes. Your leg was bouncing nervously and one hand scratched at the other. You only scratched your hand like that when you really were anxious, normally right before a panic attack. You did everything in your power not to do it normally because it left your hand hurt and sometimes bleeding. Peter knew this tic of yours and so you kept your hand covered by your sleeve whenever you could and you avoided being right next to him in any classes you had together. He noticed your change in behavior but again didn't say anything as the day went on, not wanting to upset you further and figuring you would come to him when you were ready.

By the time lunch came around, you were exhausted. You had been worrying about everything and nothing for hours and your hand was scratched raw. You could feel Peter looking at you and you could also feel the panic rise in your throat at the large amount of people in the cafeteria. You were suddenly hyper aware of the people around you and their breathing and chewing. The lights felt sterile and the feeling of exposure sent a chill up your spine. You needed to get out. You set your stuff on the cafeteria table next to peter and mumbled something quickly about needing to use the restroom. You headed for the locker room. At this time of day you knew nobody would be in there. You went between the isles to find a small corner. Once you had backed yourself in you slid to the ground, the tears starting as you breathing became harder to control. You were scratching your hand and tapping your foot, trying desperately to get rid of the excess energy you could feel in your body. Your thoughts were so consumed in how stupid you were being, how selfish, that you didn't notice the sound of the door opening and closing.

You were mumbling something about going crazy and how you were being ridiculously self centered when you heard someone slide down the wall a couple feet in front of you. You knew it was probably Peter or MJ coming to check on you. You forced a sob to stay in your throat and you immediately tried everything in your power to calm down. You couldn't but you felt the person move closer.

"Can I help?" You heard Peter ask, still not looking up at him. You shook your head silently. You wanted to scream and cry but you were finding it harder and harder to breathe. "Can I stay here?" he asked again. You thought for a moment, your heart pounding loudly at the lack of air it was getting. You nodded.

You mumbled “I’m sorry” over and over, hoping he understood that you didn't mean for him to get wrapped up in this. That he shouldn't have to deal with you. The tears were coming harder and suddenly it was like you couldn't get air into your lungs at all. You started gasping but it didn't work. Nothing was working, you couldn't breathe. You weren't able to talk but you felt a hand on yours. You shook in shame at the thought of him seeing you like this.

Suddenly his body was wrapped around yours. He was hugging you to his chest, you still curled up into a ball. He began breathing deeply and you unconsciously started to match his pace. It took at least 10 minutes but eventually your breathing matched his, slow and controlled. You were still crying though.

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry." It seemed like it was all you could say. You refused to make eye contact with him even when he pulled back to look at you. Your hand was scratching away at the other desperately trying to get out of your skin when you felt him grab your hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Please look at me." He whispered. You took a deep breath before looking at him. Your watery eyes met his and you could see he was holding back tears.

"Can you tell me what’s going on?" he asked quietly. You nodded but waited before speaking. You were trying to gather your thoughts and he made no move to rush you, holding your hands and looking at you lovingly.

"I don't know whats wrong" you got out first. You took another deep breath. "A couple days ago I started to feel shitty again like I sometimes do but I didn't want to worry you so I just didn't mention it. Then I got to school today and -" you paused and took a deep breath, shutting your eyes as tightly closed as you could. "everything is so loud here. I felt like everyone was looking at me and I was worried I would snap at someone if they talked to me and I just don't want to be here or be me and I hate that I'm like this and I'm sorry you have to deal with it." You rushed out quickly. Another sob wracked your body. "I hate me" you whispered under your breath, without the intention of him hearing but he heard it because he was 1) very close to you, and 2) had enhanced senses. You slowly looked at him and he had a sad look on his face. There were tears in his eyes and the guilt wracked over you. "I’m sorry" you whispered.

"I love you." he whispered back. You were taken aback a bit. You had been together for 2 years, your junior and now your senior, and you hadn't really said that to each other like that. Not in this serious of a context. You sniffed. "I love you on any day, even when you don't love yourself. I know you are the greatest person on the planet and I believe it enough for the both of us. At least until you feel like you can work on getting to being okay with yourself."

You felt another sob wrack your body and you leaned into his chest. "And you never have to be sorry for feeling this way. It's not your fault. I am here voluntarily because I care about you. No amount of tears or snot or anxiety will change how much I care about you." he then took a deep breath and kissed your hair. You slowly stopped shaking in his arms and he kept holding you.

"I don't know why you like me." you whispered out. The tears were no longer pouring out of you and you had fully caught your breath. You weren't fishing for compliments either, you were just expressing your genuine surprise that he wanted you around.

"I like you because you are kind. You always ask if everyone is okay, even MJ when she is being snappy with you. I like you because you think of others first in every situation, even if it is frustrating for the people who love you. I like you because you always know what to say to people when they are feeling sad and I’m sorry I'm not as good at it as you. I like you because you always say bless you when anyone sneezes and you put the grocery cart away at the store every time. You always tell people they can talk to you if they need anything, even if you don't know then very well. You always crack your window for me so I can come in if I need you after patrols. You are the kindest person I have ever met. I like you because I will love you until the end of me. And everyone around you loves you too." By the time he was done you were holding back tears again. You looked at him and he smiled at you before saying, "Of course they don't love you as much as I do, I think thats impossible." while he smirked, trying to get you to crack a smile. It worked. You took a deep breath before straddling his legs and wrapping yourself around him in the biggest hug you could give.

"I love you too" you said into his neck where your head was buried. He rubbed your back as you breathed him in.

"Are you ready to go back out there or do you want to stay in here?" he asked genuinely and you knew he would be content with either choice.

"We can go back out there but I think I’m going to head home." You muttered out, knowing you were going to crash soon if you stayed here.

"Can I come with you?" he questioned. You looked at him and sighed.

"Pete, I don’t want you to miss out on the rest of the day because you're with me." you said but you smiled at him.

"Can I please? I wanna take care of my girl." He whispered the last part and you knew your resolve wouldn't last.

"Yes of course you can come with me." you muttered, secretly glad he was coming with you. You didnt really want to be all alone as your parents were off at work.

You didn't regret your decision. You headed outside while he grabbed your stuff from the cafeteria so you didn't have to let your peers see you with tear stains. He carried your bag all the way home and had his arm around your shoulders as he walked. When you got back you laid down on the couch and he tucked you in before going to the kitchen to make you some hot cocoa. By the time he came back into the room with cocoa in hand, you were fast asleep. Peter couldn't believe how much he cared about you as you laid there and he decided in that moment that he would spend the rest of his life proving your worth to you every single day.

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bees--in-my--bones · 3 years

Text

Mission: New Asgard

Character: Loki x reader (completely gender neutral. There are zero indications of the readers gender, no pronouns at all. Note that this is written from the perspective of a woman, though, so if something is too biased, please let me know!)

Summary: You are assigned to help integrate the Asgardians to Midgardian society, but your mission ends a whole lot different than you expect.

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 5,493

A/N: My second fic! The title is supposed to be a play on the Mission: Impossible movies, but I've never actually seen one, so sorry if it's wrong lol. Now that I officially have more than one fic, I'm gonna make a masterlist, so that will be coming soon. I hope you like the story!

You rapped your knuckles on the office door that had been left slightly ajar. “Director Mackenzie? You asked to see me?”

“Come on in, Y/N. Elena was just leaving.”

You opened the door and nodded at Agent Rodriguez as she made her way out. She gave you a curt nod in return.

Alphonso Mackenzie, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., leaned back into the chair behind his desk and gestured for you to have a seat. “And for the last time, Y/N, you are one of my most trusted operatives. Call me Mack, please.”

You sat down. “Sorry, Mack.”

He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a file folder stuffed to the brim with documents, which he dropped onto the desk between you, the loud thwap resounding in the small office.

“I have a mission for you, Agent. A few days ago, the planet Asgard was completely destroyed.”

“Asgard?” you interjected. “Like where Thor is from?”

He nodded. “You’ll find all of that and more in these files. Thor and his brother Loki have set up a colony in a small town in Norway. We need you to supervise the integration of the Asgardian people onto Earth. This is the first known mass migration of aliens that our planet has ever seen, and we need to be keeping a close eye on this, or it could go sideways real fast.”

You pulled the files closer and began to flip through a few pages. “I thought Loki was a bad guy. What was it? 80 people in 2 days? Plus the invasion of New York. Why are we letting him back here?”

Mack sighed and rubbed his temple. “I can’t personally vouch for the man, but Thor claims he was being mind controlled. According to Thor, Loki eventually broke free of the control and killed the guy who was behind the whole thing. Some alien named Thanos? Tony Stark himself seems okay with this New Asgard business, and you know how paranoid he gets. So for now, we observe, not attack.”

“Gotcha,” you said. “When do I leave?”

“As soon as you can get your stuff together and get out of here. Say the word and we'll start prepping a Quinjet.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” you said, standing up and grabbing the files. “I’ll let you know as soon as I get an idea of my timeline.”

“Thank you Agent L/N, and good luck.”

------

You gripped the steering wheel tightly, barely making a rather sharp turn. When you finished this assignment, you were going to have to have a talk with whoever designed these roads. Despite the unsafe driving conditions, though, you sighed in contentment. You were back in the field, this is where you belonged.

You pulled a van loaded to the brim with various tech items mixed in with your personal possessions down a bumpy road, coming to a stop before a small, rustic-looking, seaside town, where two men and a woman stood for you. The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. You turned the key and shut off the van, trying to get a read on each of the people standing before you.

The buff blond man was clearly Thor. You recognized him from the news and the files you had read. Next to him was a tall woman with dark hair who had wan air of confidence about her. You had never seen her, nor did S.H.I.E.L.D. have any data on her. The third man was lanky, but clearly still fit, with dark hair that fell just past his shoulders. He was clad in green and had a demeanor that made you shiver. This was Loki, scourge of New York and would-be king of Midgard. But Thor and Tony Stark had vouched for him, and that would have to be enough for Y/N L/N, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

You exited the van and heard Thor call to you. “Welcome, newcomer! Our scouts observed your vehicle approaching our home!”

You walked briskly towards the group. Game time. Put on the 'no time for your shit' face and get to business. Coming to a stop in front of them, you began to speak. “My name is Y/N L/N and I am here on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D., the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division of the American government. We have been granted permission from the government of Norway to oversee this colony's development. This is an unprecedented situation on Earth, and as such, we have written new protocols. I am the agent assigned to this case, and I will be supervising the construction of New Asgard and its integration into Midgardian society.”

Thor furrowed his brow. “I was under the impression that S.H.I.E.L.D. was controlled by Hydra.”

You nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. The previous incarnation of S.H.I.E.L.D. was corrupt, but we are a hardy breed, so to speak. A much smaller branch has survived, and deals with various situations across the world, aliens being one of them.”

Thor nodded. “Then we welcome your presence here with open arms.”

Loki scoffed. “You are too trusting, brother. This so-called agent could be anyone. What cause do we have to believe this story?”

You turned to him. “Loki, God of Mischief, Chaos, and Lies, correct? You of all people should know, am I lying?”

He stared at you, long and hard, before shaking his head. “No, I suppose you aren’t,” he admitted.

“There’s that then,” you said. “Now, I will need to ask the three of you some questions regarding yourselves, if you don’t mind.”

-----

The strange woman was first. You had been given a small shack to conduct your interviews out of, the woman stared at you from across the table, looking for all the world like she had somewhere better to be.

“Name?”

“Brunnhilde.”

“No family name?”

“I am a Valkyrie. I have no blood other than my sisters.”

“Right,” you said, “You lived on Asgard then?”

Her face took on a sour look. “A long time ago. I’ve spent the last few centuries on a different planet, Sakaar.”

You scribbled the information into your notepad. “What do you do then? If you were gone so long, why are you back with the Asgardians?”

Her chest puffed with pride. “I am to be the new King of Asgard. On the Summer Solstice we will hold a coronation. It will give the people enough time to accept the transfer of power from Odin’s bloodline to me, and for me to learn how to lead.”

You nodded and took note of it. “Congratulations,Your Majesty-to-be. I believe that’s all I need for now, but I expect we will see a lot of each other over the months.”

-----

Thor. The large man sat across from you, seemingly happy to be there.

“Thor Odinson, correct?” you asked him.

“Yes.”

“And I hear you're passing on the title of King to Brunnhilde?”

A dark look came over his face. “I have learned recently that my family has done many wrongs by Asgard. As long as I breathe, I will fight for Asgard and her people, but I do not believe it is my place to rule. Brunnhilde loves the people and has a talent for leadership. She will be a much better King than I.”

“A very noble decision, Thor. Thank you very much, and please send your brother in on your way out.”

-----

“Name?”

“I believe you know who I am.”

You sighed. “It's a formality, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“Friggason.”

“What?”

“I prefer Loki Friggason.”

You nodded, and made the necessary changes to his file. “Noted. Anything else I should know about?”

“Just a warning,” he said, leaning forward, his voice dangerously low. “I am the God of Lies. The truth is a luxury I will afford no one, especially your little government. The God of Chaos is an enemy you do not want to have.”

You raised an eyebrow, and wrote a single word in your file, exaggerating each syllable as you wrote it out. “Dra. Ma. Tic.”

Truth be told, you were a little scared, given this guy’s reputation, but you would be damned before you let your exterior crack.

Loki scowled. He seemed to do that a lot. “You mortals think you are so funny, do you not?”

You shrugged. “I’m delightful.” You slipped your papers into your file folder and stood up. “See you around, Friggason.”

You left, leaving Loki slightly aghast that you had managed to get the last word in.

-----

You walked calmly out of the hut, then quickened your pace as you made your way back to your van. Loki, as much as it pained you to say, had been intimidating, and your heart was beating a mile a minute.

You opened the door and climbed inside, shoving your paperwork into a filing cabinet, which you promptly locked. You turned to your computers, fiddling with the buttons, atttempting to establish your connection back to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters.

"It's quite rude to walk out on a prince, you know."

You jumped and whipped around to see Loki standing outside your van.

"What the hell!"

"I said-"

"I know what you said, Your Highness," you interrupted. "But you scared the shit out of me. “

"Many apologies," he said as he hoisted himself up to sit on the edge of the van, his insincerity clear. "And I grant you permission to refer to me as Loki."

"How generous," you muttered, before going back to your instruction manual. Technology had never been your forte. You chose being a field agent over a scientist for a reason.

The both of you sat in silence for a while, you working slowly through the instructions that Fitz, a S.H.I.E.L.D agent much more qualified in machinery than you, had given you.

You glanced up at Loki, half expecting to see him sleeping against the van's frame, only to find his gaze resting on you.

"Can I help you?" you asked.

He just laughed a bit, like staring at you had been the most normal thing in the world. "I am watching you, Midgardian, lest you sabotage the society my brother is trying to build."

"I never took you for the loyal type," you said, putting away your things. "I'm gonna have to ask you to get outta here though."

“Why?”

You gestured to the twilight outside. “It’s late. I’ve had a long day. I’m going to bed.”

Loki strained his head slightly, attempting to peek into the van. “Where do you plan on sleeping?”

Not breaking eye contact, you grabbed a cord on the wall and yanked, and the rusty old pull-down bed flopped out with a loud groan. The rickety old thing was probably going to give you back problems by the time you were done here, but such was life. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s money was usually spent on more pressing things than upgrading amenities for field agents.

Loki’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “You are not sleeping in that. We’ve built a larger house for Thor, Brunnhilde, and I. You’ll stay in one of the guest rooms there.”

You shrugged. “It’s not too bad out here.”

“Mortals,” he said under his breath, almost indecipherably, before speaking again, at a normal volume this time. “I insist. Whether I like it or not, you are a guest of Asgard, and you will be treated as such. Besides, that bed looks seconds away from collapsing.”

You nodded, trying not to betray your confusion at the combination of his kindness and rudeness. “Thank you, just give me a second to lock up.” You grabbed the pieces you had been fiddling with, then paused, your hand hovering over the satellite dish. “Actually, if you’re just gonna sit there, you may as well make yourself useful. You can teleport right?”

Suspicion crossed his face. “Yes?”

You held out the device. “Hop up to the top of the van, there should be a little cord. It’ll fit into this port here,” you said gesturing. “Plug it in for me, please?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You ask a god to do your bidding?”

You scoffed. “You’re not a god, you're an alien. And I just asked for a favor. You’re free to say no, but I’m exhausted, and as much as I would like to put off climbing on the roof off until tomorrow, I need to send a check in to headquarters ASAP.”

He begrudgingly reached out and took the dish and you watched as his form rippled green and faded away. You heard shuffling on the roof for a moment, then silence, before the Asgardian reappeared in front of you.

“If that’s all, Midgardian?” he said.

“Thank you, Highness,” you said, ignoring his tone. “And thank you for offering the room.” The monitor beeped a confirmation that your signal had connected and you punched in a code to let S.H.I.E.L.D. know you had made it to New Asgard. You grabbed the bag you had packed and hopped out of the van, waiting for Loki to follow suit before closing the doors and locking the vehicle.

You offered him your arm. “Shall we?”

He brushed past you, rolling his eyes at your mock-politeness.

“Alright then,” you muttered, “This is gonna be fun, isn’t it?” Taking one last look at the van behind you, you moved to catch up with the Asgardian walking briskly away from you.

-----

Loki had not been talkative on the way to the house, and after being curtly shown to your room, he quickly left. You had settled into a decently sized room complete with a desk and a small bathroom attached. Undoubtedly, the house was a far cry from an Asgardian palace, but it was much larger than needed for three, even four, people. Surprisingly, you got a sound night’s sleep.

You woke to rambunctious laughter, and, wiping bleariness from your eyes, got out of bed. You stood in front of a small mirror on the wall and attempted to make yourself look slightly less like you had just woken up. Moving to your bag, you put on clothes that were much more professional than the old sweatshirt you were currently wearing.

Finally satisfied, you stepped out of your room and followed the sounds of conversation into the kitchen, where you found Brunnhilde and Thor joking at the counter while Loki sat at a dining room table, reading a book.

Seeing you, Thor broke into a smile. “Y/N! Loki had told us you would be staying here!”

You returned the smile. “Thank you for letting me stay here, Thor. I really appreciate this.”

The large man set a plate heaping with food on the table and gestured for you to sit. You did, glancing at Loki as you took the seat across from him, but he made no move to acknowledge that you were there. Brunnhidle began to speak. “We will be building fishing boats today down at the docks today. Will you be joining us, Y/N? We could use an extra set of hands.”

You nodded. “I don’t mind helping out. I have a few things to take care of first, though, so I’ll meet you all down there.”

Thor clapped. “Excellent! We’ll make an Asgardian out of you yet!”

You laughed softly and finished your meal as Thor and Brunnhilde began to tell you the plans for the day.

------

After breakfast, you ran up to your room to grab your laptop and then met the rest of the group on the stairs of the house. “I’ll see you guys in a little while,” you said, waving while walking in the opposite direction.

Thor and Brunnhidle branched off from you, but Loki, still silent, walked beside you towards your van.

You looked at him quizzically, but he seemed to have no intention of indicating why he was with you, and not with Thor and Brunnhilde.

Finally, as you approached your van, you caved and asked. “Why are you with me instead of your brother?”

“I’ve consulted with Thor. I will be supervising you for the remainder of your stay here.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “I’m supposed to be supervising you guys!”

“You are a stranger,” he replied, “and there’s something about you that I don’t trust. I have harmed Asgard many times over, and I don’t intend to let you get away with hurting these people any more.” There was an edge to his voice, that you had to admit, scared you.

After a long moment, you sighed. “Fine. I could use an assistant, I guess.” Which was apparently the right thing to say, because it made him clearly flustered.

“I am no one’s assistant, I am a prince of Asgard,” he argued as you turned away from him, partially to unlock your van and partially to hide your laughter.

You hopped up into the vehicle and grabbed a folder and tossed it to Loki, who was still sputtering about his status behind you. “Scan those in, would you?” you said gesturing at a machine in the back corner of the van.

He huffed but snatched the folder from your hand and went to fiddle with the machine.

You glanced over. “Do you know how to use that?”

“Yes,” he snapped. “This is primitive technology compared to what I have seen in my travels.”

You shrugged. “Okay.” You turned to your computer and queued up a call to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ. “I’m gonna need you to be quiet for a second,” you said, right before Mack’s face popped onto the screen.

“Y/N! How’s Norway treating you?” he said with a smile.

“Colder than I thought, but not too bad. They’ve given me an actual bed to sleep in. You really need to update the beds in these vans,” you joked.

“I’ll let the budget committee know,” he replied. “I trust Thor and Loki are being cooperative, then?”

“More or less,” you said before stepping to the side, putting Loki in full view of your webcam.

Mack’s eyes widened. The change was subtle, but you could tell he was surprised. “That’s Loki.”

“Yup.”

“In your van.”

“Yup.”

“Why?”

“His Highness has deemed me untrustworthy, and decided I need a chaperone.”

“Right,” said Mack, suspicion in his voice. “Well you know the drill. Weekly check-ins, and don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any problems,” he said, looking at Loki.

“Gotcha, Mack. Talk to you next week,” you said, turning off the call. You turned to Loki, who had yet to even turn the scanner on. “You don’t know how to work that, do you?”

He glared at you and did not reply.

“Come here, Your Highness, I’ll show you. It really isn’t that hard.”

“You know the honorific loses its value when you say it so sarcastically,” he said, while watching your motions intensely, memorizing the steps to work the machine.

“Sorry, Highness.”

-----

The two of you walked down to the beach shortly after, meeting Brunnhilde and Thor at the docks. You were allotted supplies and miraculously, you and Loki ended up caulking the same boat.

Great.

The silence was deafening at first, until you decided to break it.

“You know I never would have assumed that someone of such status would be out here doing the dirty work,” you said, sarcasm dripping from your voice.

He grimaced. “I owe Asgard a debt. I intend to repay it, however I can offer service.”

“A very noble stance from Loki, God of Mischief.”

He grinned and looked up, meeting your eyes. “I find that one can be noble while still being quite mischievous.”

You felt your face heat up, and ducked your head, looking down at your work. He had smiled at you, for the first time, and what he had said had sounded almost like flirting. Why had that made your stomach turn in such a strange way?

“Oh my,” he laughed. “Seems that the Midgardian is finally speechless.”

“Just trying to hold my tongue around my betters, Highness,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Now let’s get to work before Brunnhilde has our heads.”

-----

Finally, late that afternoon, the work was done, and the New Asgard armada of fishing boats was ready for a celebratory launch. You and Loki stood in the crowd, watching Brunnhilde give a speech in front of the flagship, which really wasn’t much larger than the rest of the fleet. Loki leaned over and whispered to you, “You know, back in the day, the Norse would give a human sacrifice to the sea god to ensure safe passage.”

You wrinkled your nose, put off by the suggestion. “I think I prefer the more English tradition,” you replied, watching as Brunnhilde smashed a bottle of champagne against the hull of the ship.

Loki sighed. “Such a waste of perfectly good champagne.”

“I’m sure there's plenty more alcohol around here somewhere,” you said as you walked over to your boat, preparing for her maiden voyage. You hopped in and offered Loki your hand to help him in. He hesitated, but he took it.

“What should we name her?” you asked.

“What?”

“You know,” you shrugged, “We have to give our ship a name.”

Loki seemed to ponder it a moment before deciding. “How about The Midgardian?”

You put your hand on your chest in mock flattery. “Aww, you named her after me, didn’t you?”

He laughed. “It’s a fitting name. She’s lackluster and hardly even worthy of being called a boat.” His words were biting, and maybe you were imagining things, but you could have sworn you heard the playfulness in his voice.

You laughed and tossed him an oar. “For you, Highness.”

“Many thanks, Midgardian.”

The two of you followed the rest of New Asgard, rowing out to sea. Suddenly, you noticed a small sprig of water in the bottom of the boat. “Loki,” you said, the fear dawning on you, “I think the boat is leaking.”

He turned to see the small leak coming through the floorboards. “Okay,” he said, suddenly serious, “Don’t panic. Let’s turn around.”

You switched the side you were paddling on, beginning to move the boat in a circle. Before you could completely orient yourselves, the floorboards cracked, and a large chunk of wood detached from the boat. You yelped as the water came flooding in.

Loki swore. “Can you swim?” he asked you, speaking quickly.

You nodded. All S.H.I.E.L.D. agents knew how to swim.

“Then jump!” he said, and you did, without a second thought. Your boat was sinking fast, and there was no way you were going to make it back to shore dry.

You hit the water, and a second later, heard Loki behind you.

“Swim towards Thor’s boat, he can get us-”

You missed the rest of his sentence as you were pulled away from him.

You fought the current that had taken hold of you, but your panic was making things worse. In the confusion, you lost control, and dipped under water. The ocean filled your mouth. Breaking the surface again, you choked out most of the water, trying to stay calm and find a way out, but every second you were being pulled further out to sea. Falling under once again, you were prepared to accept your fate when a strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around you and pulled you into calmer waters.

You gasped for air as Loki held you against himself, allowing you time to recover.

“Wha- How did-” you began, once you could speak.

“Don’t talk, just breathe,” he said. “I am a god, I can overpower currents much easier than your mortal bodies can.”

“Thank you, Loki,” you said.

“You are welcome, Y/N.”

A larger boat pulled up next to you, Thor leaning over the side. “Brother, Agent Y/N! Take my hand!”

Loki helped you onto the deck of the boat before climbing over the side himself.

You flopped onto the deck, panting. “Rest in peace, SS Midgardian.”

-----

Later that night, you and Loki sat together watching the fire crackle. Thor had brought you a hot drink, and after plenty of fussing ensuring that you were okay, had left to do something leader-ish with Brunnhilde.

Suddenly, a loud scuffling at the door broke the silence and a series of thudding footsteps made their way toward you. Upon seeing your company, Loki sighed, exasperated. You turned and saw a large figure that appeared to be made out of rock alongside a smaller, insect-looking creature.

The large one began to speak, his gentle tone in contrast with his threatening form. “Hello. Um, I’m Korg and this is my friend Meik. We came to apologize for the whole boat thing. Thor put us in charge of wood collection, so it’s our bad, really. Sorry.”

“Oh, um, that’s alright,” you said, still processing the fact that there were two very large, very strange-looking, aliens in the living room. “You couldn’t have known the wood was rotting, and no one’s dead, so we’re good.”

“Alright, cool,” said Korg. “No harm, no foul, yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

“Right then,” he said, scooping up Miek. “We’ve gotta get going. Thor put us on clean up duty for the next week.”

“Thank you, Korg!” you called, but he was already out the door.

Loki let out another sigh. “Idiots.”

You turned back to him. “I had no idea there were other aliens here! How many species came with you?”

“Just Korg and Meik. And unfortunately, they are around a lot.”

You settled into your armchair. “I’m gonna have to document this.” But even as you said it, you could feel yourself drifting off.

-----

The next day you woke in your own bed, slightly embarrassed at the implication that Loki had carried you there, but he never brought it up, so neither did you.

The next few weeks were filled with collecting information and helping with the construction of New Asgard to fill the rest of your time. Always, of course, accompanied by Loki. In a strange way, you were becoming friends. The two of you never exchanged a single kind word, but your actions said otherwise. Before long, it seemed less like Loki was breathing down your neck and more like he was genuinely relaxing around you.

“Hey, Mack,” you said, beginning your weekly call-in, Loki now sitting beside you instead of hiding in the background.

“Hey there, Y/N. How’s it going, Loki?”

“Quite well, thank you, Director Mackenzie.”

You stared at him in shock. You had never heard Loki use honorifics for a Midgardian.

The rest of the call was uneventful, and as soon as you hung up, you whirled toward Loki.

“You were polite!” you said, your tone accusatory.

Loki sniffed. “I do have manners, you know.”

“You called him Director Mackenzie.”

“And?”

“And I can count the number of times you’ve used my real name on one hand. It’s always ‘Midgardian’ this ‘Midgardian’ that. You know Mack’s a Midgardian too, right?”

He rolled his eyes. “And you call me ‘Highness’ in that terrible mocking tone of yours. The disrespect is mutual.”

You sighed. “Fine, we’ll call a truce. I’ll call you Loki, you call me Y/N, deal?” You stuck out your hand, waiting for his response.

He seemed to be considering his options, before he settled on his choice. “Deal.” He grasped your hand firmly within his and shook it.

“Glad we’re on the same page, Loki,” you said, leaning back into your chair.

“What now, Y/N?” he asked.

You shrugged. “I dunno. Brunnhilde and Thor don’t have anything going on, and I’m done with what I need to do.” You started clicking around on your computer. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“I’ve heard of movies, but never seen one.”

“You’ve never seen a movie?” you asked. “I guess that makes sense. It’s basically just a recorded play. You’ll love it.” You pulled up a movie. One of the lesser known perks of working for S.H.I.E.L.D.: free Netflix. “This is one of my favorites,” you said as the opening credits rolled.

“I suppose you aren’t giving me a choice then?” he asked.

“Nope,” you replied. “Now be quiet and watch.”

-----

Later that night, you were in the kitchen with Thor, cleaning up after dinner. The two of you worked in comfortable silence until suddenly-

“Are you and my brother involved romantically?”

The plate you were washing fell into the soapy water with a splash.

“What?”

“I have never seen him willingly be around a person as he is you,” Thor explained. “And he has changed. He is happier than he was before Midgard.”

You shook your head. “He doesn’t- I thought he was just ‘supervising’ in case I tried to kill you all.”

“Hardly. The man just has no clue how to adjust to a more… domestic lifestyle. He wants to be around you, he just does not know how to express that.”

“Huh,” was all you managed to say, not looking up from the dishes.

Thor let out a small chuckle. “One day you two will figure it out,” he said so quietly you weren’t even sure he said it.

-----

More time passed, you and Loki still spending your days together. Before you knew it, the Summer Solstice was here, and you spent the morning preparing.

Rushing around your van, alone for once, you scrambled to get your work done quickly before Brunnhidle’s coronation began.

Finishing up you glanced at your monitor when you saw a message pop up.

Alphonso Mackenzie: I forgot to mention it in our call this week, but you’re coming up on the six month mark, and there seems to be no complications with Asgard’s transition, so we’ll be pulling you back to HQ. We’ll sort out the details in next week’s meeting.

You felt a sinking feeling in your chest, which was quickly replaced by determination as you began to type your response.

-----

You hurried to Loki’s side, panting slightly, making it to the coronation just in time for Brunnhidle to make her entrance.

“You’re late,” he whispered.

“Shh,” you said. “They’re starting.”

-----

After every great coronation comes an even greater feast, and the Asgardians spent the rest of the day revealing and celebrating their new leader.

Surprisingly, you had seen very little of Loki. That wouldn’t last long though, because as the sun dipped below the horizon, your closest friend in New Asgard appeared from the crowd and said nothing as he led you to a private space away from the partygoers.

“I’ve hardly seen you all night,” he said, as soon as the two of you had a moment of relative silence.

“I know,” you laughed softly. “It’s been strange to not be around you.”

Your smile fell and you looked up at him. “Look, Loki, I have some news, and I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about it.”

His expression turned serious and he led you to a small bench, where the both of you sat. He stayed silent, waiting for you to speak.

“I got a message from Mack today. They want me back in America.”

Loki’s entire demeanor changed. “What? You can’t go back. There’s still so much I- so much supervising to be done here.”

“That’s where the part I’m unsure of comes in,” you said. “I talked to Mack, and the specifics still need to be discussed, but if we can get agreement from all parties, he wants to create a new position at S.H.I.E.L.D. I’d be the first permanent Asgardian-Midgardian liaison that S.H.I.E.L.D. has ever had.”

His face broke into a grin and he clasped your hands into his. “That’s wonderful! Why would I have any problems with that?”

“You haven’t always been my biggest fan,” you said, nudging his arm gently.

He was silent for a moment, looking for the words. “Maybe not at first,” he began slowly, looking you directly in your eyes, “but now, I’d argue that you are closer to me than anyone else.”

You suddenly became all too aware of his hands resting on yours, and the closeness of his face to yours. “Loki…”

“I hate to admit it, but after a long talk with Thor, I’ve realized that I’ve grown quite fond of you, Y/N.”

“I guess I’ve grown fond of you too, Your Highness,” you said, smiling softly.

“Oh, Midgardian,” he said, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice as his face drew nearer.

You didn’t remember which of you closed the gap, only that it was the most magical kiss you had ever had.

A/N: Thanks for reading! :)

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x female reader #loki x male reader #loki x gender neutral reader #loki imagine #loki friggason x reader #loki laufeyson imagine #loki friggason x you #loki friggason imagine #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x you #x reader

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baecvlt · 3 years

Note

Oh my gosh! I love Kazuichi!!

Can I request a Kazuichi x female reader where she's a quiet nerd who spends a lot of time studying so she doesn't really have many friends but one day she's extremely stressed out for an exam and she asks Kaz straight up "Fuck me like an animal" just to relieve the tension.

(so kinda rough, feral, lots of dirty talk from Kaz if that's possible please ❤️)

Kazuichi x Quiet Reader

a/n: i love this idea sm i will be projecting onto this

“Hey, thanks for helping me study, it means a lot, really”

“Of course. What are friends for?”

There was a pause as you picked up your pen and began writing in your notepad. “Hey, me and the boys are gonna go out Friday night and they’re all bringing their girlfriends”

You finished jotting down a note in your notepad, clicking your pen. “Yeah? Sounds like fun”. Then, another pause. “So I was kinda wondering if you wanted to come with me, y’know so I don’t look like a complete and fucking loner”. You sighed softly, running your hand through your hair. “I’ll think about it,” you answered, only for Kazuichi Soda (your college friend) to call your bluff. “But that’s what you always say, I’d prefer you say ‘no’ straight up!”. He was right, but that wasn’t gonna change your mind.

“You know I don’t do well around people, you’re one of the only few people I feel comfortable around. I’m sorry”

He shook his head. “No, don’t be. I’ll figure it out, thanks anyway”.

He walked away, not looking back. Part of you felt bad, but you didn’t want to put yourself in this situation where you had to endure being around people you had no business being around. It’s not that you don’t like them, but you never seemed to click. You packed your things an hour later, deciding that regardless of the fact you didn’t do enough, it was getting late and you were sleepy. Upon leaving the library, you noticed Kazuichi was still outside, now by his truck (that used to belong to his uncle because that’s totally worth noting). He waved at you, you waved back and approached him.

“What are you still doing here? Thought you had to be home?”

“I don’t live there no more. I’m rooming with Hajime!”

“That’s great, but why are you still here?”

“I came to take you home!”

You raised a brow, he hardly does that. Why now? Especially, why after you denied accompanying him? “You look so sleepy,” he said softly,“It’d make things easier on ya”. You smiled, rolling your eyes. “Alright,” you said. He became giddy, taking tiny, but quick steps to you door. He opened it for you, then got to the driver’s seat. Now, you were off.

He played soft classic rock on the radio, volume low. He was right, you were sleepy. You leaned your head against the window, looking out of it: the sun was setting and the closer you got home, the darker it became. Finally, the sun was down, stars in the night sky. Then, you didn’t remember much else. Blackout.

“Hey, princess—”

You felt cold against your cheek, wincing a little. The cold turned warm, as your eyes fluttered open. The blur cleared and there was Kazuichi. “You must’ve really been sleepy, huh?,” he teased,“Well, we’re here now”. You looked around, seeing the familiar parking lot of your apartment complex. “How long was I out?,” you asked, still familiarizing yourself with your surroundings. “Maybe ten minutes,” he said,“I think I’m gonna take you home from now on. Pretty long walk, don’t cha think?”.

“I don’t get paid well, I don’t want to burden you on gas money—”

“It’s no burden. It’d be so cool to take my favorite chick home”

You blushed, smiling softly. “Let me walk you up, yeah?,” he asked, getting off the car. He wasn’t about to take ‘no’ for an answer. It was dark, anything could happen going up. I mean, it’s not like Kazuichi has that much fight in him (worst case scenario), but hey, it’s the thought that counts. He took you up the 3 flights of stairs as you told him about your studious day of reading books, taking notes, citing sources—boring shit. All he could do was grin and say,“Damnit, you’re so smart”. You shook your head, snickering.

“Shut up”

“No, seriously. You could be a doctor or lawyer if you wanted to. Something smart, ya know?”

“I guess”

You stopped, letting him know this was your door. “Nice”. You grabbed your key, opening the door slowly. “Alright, well, thanks,” you smiled,“It means a lot that you’re offering to take me, y’know. It gets dark and stuff and I’m always so tired so that just means a lot—”. As you ranted, he wasn’t smiling anymore. His eyes, they just remained fixated on your lips, but you couldn’t have known. You were in your own little world.

“—and don’t worry! I’ll find a way to repay you. I can’t let you do this completely free, even if we are friends, because that’s what we are right? Hey, are you even liste-”

Suddenly, he raised his hands to both sides of your jaw, pulling you in and kissing you. He pulled away, still close to your lips as he whispered,“I’ve always wanted this”. His hands remained on your face, now caressing your cheeks. “I know I’m not that kind of guy that can be smooth and pick up girls, but you’re so sweet to me. I’d do anything for you,” he whispered still,“And you work so hard, you’re so amazing...I just want to make you feel so good”. Just as you were about to speak, his thumb pressed gently against your lips.

“Don’t say anything, Just...if you ever need me, Imma be here”

“Yeah and do what?”

“Leave you shaking a little”

He walked away, leaving you almost on your knees. Almost. “Goodnight, princess,” he said. You said ‘goodnight’, now running back into your house. You nearly squealed and your face burned as you held a pillow. Why did he do that? Why to you? Was he okay?

That didn’t matter. You weren’t upset about it either.

The next day, you walked outside pf your complex, seeing him outside. “Hey, you!,” he said running up to you,“I’m so sorry about yesterday. I don’t know what got into me and—”. You shrugged his apology off. “Don’t even worry about it,” you said,“it’s all good”. He smiled, opening the door for you.

Kazuichi and you decided he would be taking you to school and home, so that was a great thing that happened today. Last night’s incident wasn’t discussed, although you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Later that day, you found yourself still studying and studying for that test. When Kazuichi, came to you to study, you seemed a little aggravated. “Hey, I’m here for our hour together,” he said. “Okay, just sit down and let me know if you need anything,” you told him. He noticed your tone, it was irritated and tired. As he opened his book and took some noted down, he look at you. You had very noticeable tics (hard blinking) and your hands kept rubbing your temples. It wasn’t until he heard you sigh that he asked,“Hey, are you doing okay?”.

“Yeah, I’m just...—”

You were terribly stressed, you knew that. You looked him up and down,“I need to get something in the archives”. You left him there, but all he could do was follow you. Once there, you saw him head inside,“I don’t like seeing you like this. I think I should take you—”. You closed the door as he spoke, dropping to your knees in front of him. “H-Hey, what are you?-”.

“I’m so stressed, Kaz”

His bulge grew in his jeans, just to see you like that made him hard. You took your right hand, softly palming his growing erection. ��Oh— fuck, I~,” he sputtered. “Fuck me like an animal, Kaz,” you whined softly,“Make me feel good”. You pushed him back onto the nearby table where he sat, but propped himself up. He unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out. He stroked himself a little with one hand as he told told you to “come here” with the other. You got got closer to him, but he didn’t give you time. He sprung out of his seat and got on his knees. He pulled down your skirt and panties, making you squeak. Grabbing your hips, he pushed you back and made you land on the table. As soon as your bare skin touched the cool table, he used his mouth on your dripping cunt. “Ngh!~ Kaz, no! S-Stop,” you whined.

“Mmm, but you taste so sweet”

His hands reached up to rub your trembling thighs as you gripped his hair. “Such a pretty pussy,” he whispered,”so wet too”. His tongue moved from your clit, bow thrusting inside you. His tongue was long, sometimes when you’d hang out, you wondered how it’d feel to have him eat you out, always cursing yourself for it, but bow he was here, tongue fucking your pussy and thrusting it in and out of you. “Kaz...”.

You were wet and close to cumming as he pulled out his tongue, simply placing kisses along your pussy. “So pretty,” he muttered, thumbing your clit. He got up, positioning himself between your legs. He rubbed his cock between your folds. You groaned, feeling his cock play with your warmth. “How do you want this?,” he asked. “This is okay, just please I need you inside me”. He snickered, ramming his cock right into you. You gasped as he kept his pace fast, stroked rhythmic. His tight and painful grip on your hips stopped hurting, your skin easing into his touch. He wasn’t just holding them, though. He was pulling you by them, making sure his cock ruined your insides. “I’m gonna rip you in half,” he spat, tearing your button-up open. You had subconsciously planned this, that’s for sure. You just realized you wore this bra that hooked from the front. “Tits...”, he mumbled, unclipping the front. Your bra burst open, your breasts having some recoil from his thrusts. “God, your face, your fucking face,” he groaned,“When I look at you, I just want to stuff my cock, deeper and deeper in you”. Each time he said ‘deeper’, he thrust hard with his hand on your throat. It was easy to see how little experience he had, he wanted to try everything all at once. You weren’t complaining because everything he was doing just fucking worked. Your eyes rolled back as you covered your mouth to muffle your moans. He took your hand off, but now you were noticing how flushed his face was. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he grunted, cumming inside you,“I can’t stop, I’m still so fucking hard”.

“Don’t stop, Kaz”

He leaned forward, kissing you softly. You whined against his mouth as you felt his cold hands pinching and rubbing your nipples just right, keeping you in this deep state of arousal. He tried keeping his composure as his only goal now was to make you cum. Watching you cum is something he’s always wanted. Now you’re here, in the backrooms of the school library with him, your cunt sloppy on his cock. “Oh, g-god, you’re so pretty,” he choked out,“Y-Your face remains...angelic as I ruin your— Ah!”. He trailed a butterfly kiss from your lips to your jaw to your neck as he life your leg up, wrecking your uterus at this point. “Ah!~ T-Too deep, too deep!,” you cried. “I know,” he whispered. You felt your orgasm rattle through your body, but before you could cum, you wrapped his legs around you. “H-Hey!-”. You had gotten the best of him.

“Fuck, I-I’m cumming!”

You came along his cock nicely, your spreading warmth making him ejaculate once more inside you. He pulled out slow, watching his cum drip from your hole. Once he got a view of that, he collapsed onto your chest. He pecked your jaw a little, nuzzling you after. “I came too quick, didnt I?,” he asked, insecure about his sexual performance. “No, you went long enough,” your reassured him,“Christ, my legs feel so funny”. He was now concerned.

“Did I hurt you?”

“You were a little too rough”

“I-I’m sorry. I guess I got a little carried away. You’re just so fucking hot”

You kissed him, hoping it’d shut him up. “Don’t say that..just, com on. Help me get dressed”.

He helped you but your panties and skirt back on, handing you his jacket to deal with the ripped shirt issue. He was being cute and slipped your flats back onto your feet. Quickly, you grabbed your school bags from outside and left the library. He took you home, his hand on your thigh the entire way back. You didn’t hate it, though. In fact, when he took it off and apologized for it, you put it back. He smiled, eyes back on the road.

He took you upstairs, this time you decided to invite him in. Now, you were both in bed. He lay on your stomach, caressing your thigh. He suddenly gasped, with a hand on your stomach. “I felt a kick!,” he joked. You rolled your eyes, hitting him with a nearby plush. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you the pill tomorrow,” he assured. “I should shower,” you noted,“You wanna join?”. He became flustered, giving you a look as to ask if you were serious. “Uh, yeah,” he muttered.

“Not right now, though. I’m still a little tired”

“About that, did it help at all with the stress?”

“Sure did”

He smiled, becoming shy,“I didn’t think we’d ever...y’know..”. You kissed him all over his face, making him smile. “Hey, I kinda decided,” you began,“I decided I’ll go with you. As your girlfriend”. He looked at you wide eyed. “Really?!”.

“Yeah”

“I love you— no, wait, I’m sorry-”

“You are so cute”

He blushed, muttering,“Let’s just go take that shower”.

#danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #fanfic #send asks #send requests #smut #kazuichi x reader smut #kazuichi smut #kazuichi imagine #kazuichi headcanons #kazuichi x reader #kazuichi souda x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi #kazuichi danganronpa #kazuichi soda

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msmarvelouswinchester · 3 years

Text

Call You Mine

Summary - When Y/N meets Jensen on the set of Supernatural, her life takes an unexpected turn. Never in her wildest dreams, Y/N thought that their casual friendship will change into something sinful after they shoot a risqué scene together one night.

Pairing - Jensen x Y/N, Jensen x OFC!Millie

Warnings - Angst, infidelity, mentions of guilt and despair, explicit mention of extramarital affairs, SMUT 18+ minors DNI (p in v, fingering, dirty talk), slight mention of Dom!Jensen (it's very slight), fluff, a happy ending.

WC - 3052

Square Filled - Free Space ( @supernatural-jackles' Tell Me A Story Bingo); Song Based Fic ( @spnmixedbingo )

A/N 1 - This is a submission for @tvdspngirl314's challenge. My prompt was "I met a girl, we talked, it was epic."

Also this is a submission for @negans-lucille-tblr's "7Ks of the Week Challenge" (Congratulations on your 7k)

@deangirl93's 500 followers challenge (congrats on your 500). My prompt was the song "I Can't Quit You Baby". All prompts are in bold.

A/N 2 - This is a work of pure fiction and irl I absolutely do not support the act of cheating in a relationship. No hate towards the Ackles fam. I love Danneel and for the sake of the fic, Jensen is married to an OFC and not Dee.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thanks, hon <33)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I can't quit you baby

So I'm gonna put you down for awhile

I said I can't quit you baby

I guess I gotta put you down for awhile

“Jensen...” The name rolled off her tongue effortlessly as the man’s fingers danced across her bare skin, his electrifying touch leaving Y/N breathless, panting and begging for more. The very touch of his that had started it all.

Everyone always expressed how being in love was the most exhilarating feeling in the world, but no one ever spoke about the perils of being in love with a person who already belonged to someone else. The ring on Jensen's finger served as a wistful and painful reminder of that.

As soon as the doors had closed, the actor had backed up Y/N against the elevator, letting her see the need in his eyes. His hands had sneaked behind her, his fingers entangling with the strands of her hair, completely messing the hairstyle she had pulled off for the m&g panel in the evening. Her hands landed on his biceps, trying to steady herself. Their lips moulded together so perfectly as if they were made for each other, but it pained Y/N to think that she was nothing but his dirty mistress.

Their relationship, if she could even call it one, was all about clandestine meets, stolen stares and subtle touches. Jensen was like a drug for her and she was high on the thrill of being with him even if he was gone in the morning, leaving her behind with nothing but guilt.

Jensen had closed the door of the suite behind him as they stepped into Y/N’s room together. With lips swollen from their heavy makeout in the elevator, he wasted no time as she found herself pinned to the wall by the actor's strong hands. In the fairly lit room, she noticed his wedding band was now missing. Y/N knew Jensen and his wife's relationship was on the rocks even before she had started to work on the SPN set. Which was also the reason why few months ago, the hide-and-seek between them and the hungry paps with cameras had started.

Hands on her hips, Jensen had pulled her close on the set, more than the director demanded it. That night, he had found himself standing inside her trailer, after the fated shot. The heart wants what it wants and just as the saying went, they had given in to their burning desires. In a moment of weakness, Jensen had broken off every single one of his vows and destroyed any hope of salvaging his relationship with his estranged wife.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Jensen ripped her blouse off, unhooking her bra quickly, barely containing his eagerness before stepping out of his own jacket. Y/N clutched at the ends of the counter, knocking off the magazines lying on top of it and draping her other arm around Jensen's firm body. He delicately cupped her face as his mouth devoured hers. She could taste the mint and coffee on his lips feeling his teeth graze roughly against her, making her moan into him. The actor pushed her legs apart with his knees and stood close between her thighs as his tongue explored every inch of her mouth.

In desperate need of air, they momentarily separated before Jensen dipped his head down again, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses down her neck. Y/N’s legs buckled under his hypnotic touch when his mouth found her pulse point and she supported herself against his body. Jensen's hands moved down to her breasts, kneading them. His fingers caressed her hard nipples before his mouth latched onto one sensitive bud.

“Jay, please-” Y/N could only form two words as Jensen flicked her nipple while his fingers worked on the other one, spurring her on. Words weren't quite necessary, cause the man knew exactly what she needed. He knew her every tic, her every emotion like the back of his hand and Y/N was aware of that fact as well. No one could ever worship her body like he did.

Jensen was still wearing the black polo shirt, his noticeable bulge painfully straining in his jeans. She felt her wetness dampening the fabric of her panties as she thrusted her hips forward in need of some friction, her heated core brushing against his bulge.

Pulling apart for a second, Jensen’s viridian eyes studied her as his hands sneaked under her skirt. He watched her intently as she sucked on her bottom lip, closing her eyes when his fingers grazed past her soakedpanties.

A moan escaped her wet lips when Jensen's fingers hooked themselves with the waistband and in one swift pull, got rid of the panties. It quickly glided down her legs, pooling at her feet. He teased her by flicking at her bundle of nerves, making her lean her head back against the wall.

Y/N swayed on her feet a little, her hold on his shoulders tightening as she finally felt her legs give away when his fingers rubbed circles on her clit.

“Fuck-” she panted as he pushed a single finger inside her.

“Have you been thinkin’ about me all day?” Jensen leaned towards her ears, his scruff grazing across her neck. Y/N nodded, not trusting her voice, eyes still squeezed shut in sheer ecstasy.

“Sweetheart, use your words.” He ordered as his finger curled inside her.

“Yeah-fuck, yes.” Jensen kissed below her ear, smirking against her skin when she obediently answered him.

“I have been thinkin’ about you too, counting down the hours till I could get you alone.” He whispered against her neck. She mewled at the feeling of him adding another finger, his thick digits stretching her out as they curled inside her. “That little dress wasn't helping either.”

“Uh-huh,” she could feel the coil inside her tightening as his finger worked their way inside her, his thumb rubbing at her folds and clit, edging her on.

“I have thinkin’ all day about you clenching around my fingers and then my cock-” his words had an immediate effect as she clenched around his fingers as he kept pumping into her, “you've thinkin’ about that too, huh?” Y/N nodded again.

“What did I say? Words.” His other hand travelled down her body, stopping at her stomach and he pinched at her waist. “Words, baby.”

“I-I have been thinki-” Y/N panted when she realised she was close to her climax. Jensen picked up his pace and pumped his fingers faster into her, brushing past her g-spot over and over again.

When you hear me moaning and groaning, baby,

You know it hurts me deep down inside

When you hear me moaning and groaning, baby,

You know it hurts me deep down inside

Oh, when you hear me, honey, baby,

You know you're my one desire

“Lemme say it, sweetheart. I know you've been thinking how I would make you come on my fingers, how my dick is gonna fill you up, make you come all over me. Don't lie.” Jensen's every assumption was right to the dot. She had been thinking of everything to the last detail since the moment she watched him get out of his car, right outside of the convention building. But there was another thought on her mind, the image of him pushing her against one of the counters of his empty brewery a few weeks ago with him buried deep inside her.

That was the last she had seen Jensen before the convention as he had gone back home to his wife.

His wife.

The one woman he had promised to be with in sickness and health, till death do them apart. Guilt clouded Y/N’s mind but all rational thoughts flew out of the window when he lowered his head, kissing the neck and the coil inside her finally snapped.

With a cry of his name, she came undone on his fingers, her legs finally giving away but Jensen's hold prevented her from toppling over. He pulled his fingers out as she whimpered at the feeling. His digits still covered in her juices, Jensen pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere in the room. Y/N panted, trying to come down from the high but she wanted more. She needed to feel him.

“Y/N-” Jensen rasped, looking right at her with lust blown eyes. Y/N smacked her lips at the sight of his freckled, toned body.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” He smirked as Y/N eagerly reached out for his belt buckle.

“Uh-huh.” She agreed. Jensen bit back a moan when she reached out to palm his bulge. He threw his head back at the feeling of her hand on his erection through his jeans.

“It has been weeks-” Jensen said, clearly hinting at their last time together at the brewery. He quickly unbuckled his belt, pushing down his jeans along with his boxers, his erection springing free from its confines.

“Baby, it has been weeks since I felt your tight pussy wrapped around me. Fuck.” Y/N looked at him with hooded eyes and wrapped her fingers around his length, running her palm along its shaft and her thumb rubbed the tip of his cock, already lined with beads of precum. Jensen hiked her skirt up, pushing her hands away and gave his hard cock a few slow strokes. He nudged her sensitive core with his swollen tip, all while pulling out sweet, sinful noises out of her.

“Jay,” he loved hearing her needy moans, her voice raspy when she called out his name. His hands grabbed her ass and picked her up. Hooking her legs and arms behind him, with her back still firmly pushed up against the wall, Jensen lined himself with at her entrance.

Grunting, he pushed himself into her and wrapped his arms around her body. Y/N’s mouth fell open with an inaudible moan at the feeling of his cock stretching her out. Jensen placed a chaste kiss on her lips as he let her adjust to his size before slowly pulling out of her, leaving only the tip of his engorged cock inside, and pushed back in again, much deeper than before.

Her legs tightened around his waist, pulling him close as she bucked up her hips to match his rhythm. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.” Jensen grunted as he started to thrust faster.

Y/N whimpered, her eyes fluttering close as Jensen snapped his hips forward before slowly drawing them back. With every thrust, she inched closer to her release as their breathing became ragged. The actor’s skin was flushed, his cheeks turning a bright red with beads of sweat lining his forehead as he felt her clench around her. Her nails dug into his back as the coil inside her tightened.

“‘M so close,” she whispered, as he continued to mercilessly pound into her.

“Cum around my cock, baby. I wanna feel you all over me-” Jensen growled into her ears, tugging on her earlobes with his teeth and his breath tickled her neck, making her quiver. Jensen had an effect on her that no one ever had. Sometimes, she would say to herself that Millie was a really lucky woman who got to have Jensen all the time and not just on convention weekends and sneaky nights spent in his empty brewery or a trailer park.

And Y/N was the one who was ruining their relationship. A home-wrecker. The tabloids would rightfully call her that if they ever found out about their twisted relationship.

“Jensen, fuck-” a cry of pure ecstasy left her lips as the coil inside her snapped once more and she felt herself coming undone for the second time that night. Jensen's thrust had become sloppy. He rocked his hips forward, thrusting a few more times. Burying his face in the crook of her neck a muffled scream of her name escaped his lips as he spilled into her, his white, hot seed coating her walls.

He lazily circled his hips a few times, his cock becoming soft inside her before he pulled out of her. His cum trickled down her leg, when he set her down, Y/N felt herself go weak in her knees when she tried to stand.

“Hi,” Jensen smiled, their eyes meeting, before he leaned forward.

“Hi.” Y/N whispered back. They stood together, holding each other closely with their foreheads touching. Guilt seeped into her and so did despair but she didn't regret any moment they spent together.

“Let me clean up the mess,” Jensen said.

“I'm gonna hop into the shower.” She said, holding out the hope that he would join her but he didn't.

“Alright.” It was all he said. Dejected, she pulled away from him and made her way towards the shower. All she wanted was to spend every single minute with him before he went back to his room to keep up the facade of his happily married life.

In the shower, Y/N thought about the day she had first met Jensen when she was a newbie on the set and reflected back on their rollercoaster of a relationship. There was an instant connection between them. Jensen was always such a gentleman. He truly cared for her, but love... she didn't know if even the idea of love existed between them or if she was just an affair.

She stepped out of the bathroom and saw that Jensen was now In his boxers. He gave her a nod and moved past her into the bathroom. A sad smile formed on her lips as she watched him walk away. She put on a comfortable pair of pjs and crawled into the bed, under the covers, waiting for the exact moment when Jensen stepped out of the bathroom and put on his clothes. And just like every other time, she would watch him leave after he kissed her forehead and told her he doesn't have a choice.

This time though, it was going to be different.

Y/N didn't want Jensen to leave, neither did she want to watch him go so she squeezed her eyes shut, adamant of not responding when he walked up to her.

She flinched when he heard the bathroom door shut. She counted down the minutes till the goodbye kiss but instead she felt the other side of the bed dip down with a familiar weight. Opening her eyes, she felt his hand wrapping around her waist. Jensen was in her bed. She turned to face him.

He was breathing slowly. His long lashes rested against his cheek and his freckled face reflected the look of absolute contentment.

Said you know I love you baby

My love for you I could never hide

Oh, you know I love you baby

My love for you I could never hide

Oh when I feel you near me little girl

I know you are my one desire

“You're staring.” He whispered.

“You're staying.” She replied back, making his beautiful eyes flutter open.

Pursing his lips together, he said, “Do you not want me to?”

“No-I mean, yes. Stay…But, what about Jared?”

“What about him?” He scrunched up his face in confusion.

“What if he finds out about us?” Y/N asked as she panicked. Hiding this relationship from Jared was the hardest task. He was like a brother to Jensen so he didn't want to lie to him but it was important to keep him in the shadows.

“Let him find out. I don't care anymore-”

“Jensen!” Y/N exclaimed. She didn't understand what was going on in his mind.

“It's okay, Y/N.” He said.

“How is it okay?”

“Millie and I are over. I finally ended it.”

Her mouth fell open in complete surprise. Of everything she had expected, this was the last thing she was anticipating to hear. “Our relationship was long dead anyway. We have separated. I'm filing for a divorce once I go back home this week.” Y/N would lie if she said that the thought of him choosing her over his wife had never crossed her mind.

“It's all because of me, isn't it-”

“No. No, sweetheart. We were already over even before I met you. I was just too scared to admit it to myself but then I met a girl, we talked. It was epic and the thought of losing her scared me more than anything else.” Jensen caressed her cheek, a gentle smile gracing his lips. He felt a burden being lifted from his shoulders. He could finally be with the woman he truly loved.

“Does this mean no more hiding?” She said, tears pooled in her eyes. Y/N needed to hear him say it now that she could shout it from the rooftops Jensen belonged to her, and she to him.

“Being with you made me realise what I was missing. All this while, I wasted my time trying to work on a dead relationship when I should have realised sooner that it was a lost case. That you are the one I want 'cause baby, I can't quit you. Millie and I would have never worked out no matter how many couple’s therapy we went to….I have never regretted a single moment I have spent with you. I love what we have. I love you.” Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in everything he said. Her mind was reeling from his sudden declaration. A single tear rolled down her cheek, as the corners of her lips tugged up, forming a smile but she was too overwhelmed to say anything, which Jensen took the wrong way and it scared him.

“Y/N-” his smile disappeared as his hand dropped from her cheeks, “I want you to be mine. Will you be mine?” Y/N immediately moved towards him. Her hands raked through his soft hair before she pulled him in for a longing kiss.

“I didn't even realise when I became yours but I know it happened at some point, Jay. I love you so much.” Y/N said. With smiles and their eyes sparkling with newfound happiness, they stayed in bed as Y/N nuzzled into his side. Jensen's warm hands were wrapped around her and she smiled against his chest. For the first time, the fear of losing Jensen didn't cross her mind because she knew he would stay with her that night and all that would follow. She was going to wake up with him by her side and didn't have to sneak behind anyone's back anymore.

She was happy and in love and so was Jensen.

Feedback is highly appreciated!

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles #jensen x reader #jensen ackles x you #SPNMixedBingo #bees7ksoftheweekchallenge #allyswritingevent #deangirl93s500followerscelebration #TellMeaStoryBingo #jensen x you #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen x y/n #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles fluff #jensen ackles angst

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spxllcxstxr · 3 years

Text

Being Regulus Black’s Younger Sister (Version 1 - Slytherin) • Headcanon

Warnings: body insecurity and eating mention, forced eating restrictions, canon child abuse and neglect by Walburga Black, Barty Crouch Jr makes an appearance

Request: Hey maybe you could do a regulus x younger sister headcanons or fix really whatever you want to do 💖 — @nicole198205

A.N: I honestly loved writing Black sister reader...this was so fun and if you liked it too and want like a real blurb or something based on any of these bullet points, you should request it. Hope you all enjoy and I love you all ❤️

Being the only girl in 12 Grimmauld Place means that you got treated differently than your brothers

Not nicer, by any means

Different in a way that meant your mother was constantly fussing over your appearance and making sure you acted “ladylike”

When you were little it was nice

You got to spend alone time with your mother in your room, she would brush your hair and pick out frilly and elegant dresses

Sure, sometimes she would purposefully tug a little too hard on your hair causing you to yelp, but it wasn’t a big deal

Eventually, though, your mother got rougher, these mother-daughter times turning into torturous hours where she’d make snippy comments about your weight and how you should appear to certain men

You weren’t even ten years old and she was already arranging your marriage to a man that, according to the Black Family Tapestry in the Drawing Room, was a distant relative

Sure she bought you dresses, and heels, and jewels, but they weren’t for you to enjoy and it wasn’t out of love or kindness

She needed you perfect for marriage

You always ran to Regulus’ room for comfort and he was always happy to listen to you vent

“If Bella, and Cissy, and Andy can deal with it, (Y/n), so can you. You’re just as strong as they are.”

You were always closer to Regulus, maybe because he was closer to you in age or because he wasn’t as rough or brash as Sirius

While Sirius taught you curse words, Regulus taught you prose and poetry

When Sirius went off to Hogwarts, the two of you got even closer

Your mother got worse when she found out that her eldest son was sorted into Gryffindor

She had a fit that day, one that consisted of her throwing pots and pans at the walls, shattering ancient artifacts, and tearing at her own hair

You and Regulus, frightened little children, hid in his closet waiting for your father to come home to calm her down

The two of you clutched each other tight, not daring to even make a noise, scared that you might be the next thing she breaks

You and Regulus weren’t allowed to say your brother’s name and all letters were snatched away and thrown into the fireplace

He was even banned from coming home for Christmas break

The two of you were dragged to even more family gatherings and balls

You particularly were forced to split your time between hanging out and learning from the other girls and presenting yourself to the boys

At night, you would sneak into your brother’s room, seeking comfort

You would talk about Sirius and how you can’t wait to get to Hogwarts

“Hogwarts’ll be different, (Y/n). No more screaming and family obligations...” He would smile, listening to a rogue sneakoscope whir in a drawer

“You’re forgetting something, Reg.” You’d sigh. “I’ll have to be on my own for a whole year before I can join you guys.”

“Well maybe mother will let you read my letters, and I can sneak in some of what Sirius wants to tell you.”

Sirius was different when he came back home for the summer

He wasn’t afraid to push your mother’s buttons a bit harder and he certainly wasn’t afraid to run his mouth a bit more

Sirius talked like the outside world like it was the best thing ever

And while you were curious about Hogwarts and the many different sorts of people that attended, your mother made it pretty clear pretty quick that even associating yourself with your older brother was worthy of some sort of punishment

And as much as you loved Sirius, you loved playing it safe even more

You didn’t outright ignore him, you did talk to him about Bella’s new boyfriend and the new quill your father bought you

But more often than not, you were with Regulus, enjoying the time you had left together

The night before Regulus had to leave for Hogwarts, you came crying into his room

“Don’t cry, sœur, it’ll be quite alright.” He would whisper in your ear, rocking you back and forth in his arm (sœur is sister in French)

But your etiquette lessons got harder and your mother got stricter, trying to make you a Perfect Slytherin Princess

Your mother was overjoyed when she got a letter saying how Regulus was sorted into Slytherin

She gave you a glass of wine (“Because that’s what ladies drink, (Y/n)!”) and told you that Regulus was a perfect role model

Regulus sent letters every week, detailing his classes and the people in his year

He made fast friends with a Bartimus Crouch Jr

He told you how Sirius would barely talk to him in the corridors ever since the sorting

Regulus would say a quick hello and Sirius would always reply, but the older brother never went out of his way to leave his friend group for a chat

Regulus would write paragraphs about why this could be before settling on the fact that it’s because of the house difference

Sirius only sent a few letters home and each time they were burnt to ash in front of you

So Regulus was your only outlet

You would tell him about how mother was starting to restrict your meals and starting to squeeze you into dresses far too small

He would offer you comforting words and distractions by talking about school, as it was far too difficult to actually help your situation through a letter

Regulus didn’t come home for Christmas break, claiming that exams were stressing him out, especially Herbology, so he’d rather continue his studies in a school environment

So that’s how the rest of your year goes

Regulus is...different when he gets back for the summer

It’s a very slight change, you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who notices

But it’s there

A bit more reserved, a bit more secretive

Childish wonder disappearing

He no longer publicly acts afraid of your mother

“It’s Sirius’ fault he’s got grounded, (Y/n). He broke a rule, now he’s facing the consequences.”

“But Reg, he didn’t do anything wrong—“

“(Y/n)! Are you trying to encourage the downfall of the Noble House of Black?!”

And that was it

But finally you were off to Hogwarts

Regulus lets you sit with him and Barty, who wears expensive shoes like you and Reg and had a slight tic with sticking his tongue out

But he was nice nonetheless less

Turns out, they were the outcasts of the outcasts

You were welcome to join when you are sorted into Slytherin

They were sure that you were going to be sorted there already

And you were dreading it

What if you weren’t a Slytherin and ended up like Sirius?

You could barely handle your family now, there’s no way you’d be able to take the extra shit Sirius gets

The hat gives you a choice

The worst choice possible

Gryffindor or Slytherin

You end up with a hatstall of 8 minutes, constantly looking between your brothers

And you beg to be placed in Slytherin

And so you join your brother and Barty at the table of the snakes

Sirius doesn’t look at you across the Great Hall

“Hey, Reg? Did the hat give you a choice too?”

“A choice between what?”

“Slytherin and Gryffindor.”

“Don’t tell anyone you got a choice. Listen, people in this house are brutal to people like you who get choices. Don’t mention it.”

“You didn’t answer my question—“

And he never does

You spend all of your time with Regulus and Barty, the other kids in your year are kinda major assholes

Regulus helps you with your homework, always making time for you

Meet ups in the library

Chess in the common room

Barty was usually with you as well

And that’s how it goes over the next few years

Even when Regulus is busy with his own classes and him being a seeker, he’ll make time for you

You always attend his matches, cheering him on

He’s a great seeker

In your fifth year, you notice how Reg and Barty change drastically

Pulling away from you, secret meetings, dark depictions and phrases hidden in notebooks

You get worried

For the first time ever you push your way through the Marauders to talk to your brother

“Oh, the Slytherin Princess arrives! Want us to bow?” He snarks, his friends laughing

“Piss off, Sirius! It’s about Reg.”

“What about him? Did he finally stop kissing Walburga’s arse?”

“It isn’t a laughing matter!” You’re practically in tears

And he listens to you as you explain all of your concerns and he ends up agreeing that that is worrisome

“What the hell did you tell Sirius?” Regulus shouts at you in the empty common room one night

“I’m worried, Reg! You’re going all dark, like what mother wants! This isn’t you!”

“This is me, believe it or not, (Y/n)! I’m not some puppet!” He shouts at you.

“Just wait, (Y/n), you’re next. Next year, it’ll be you. You can’t escape it.”

“Sirius got out of it.” You mumble

Regulus storms out and that’s the last real conversation you have with him and Barty for a long time

You get a letter from him when you graduate, something you have to hide away from your brother and the rest of the Order

Forgive me, sœur,

RAB

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20 @amourtentiaa @cherie-draco

Regulus Taglist: @lunalovecroft

#regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x sister!reader #regulus black headcanons #regulus black fluff #regulus black imagine #the marauders x reader

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infernalrevenge · 3 years

Text

All Dolled Up

Fandom: Resident Evil 8: Village

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Rating: G

Summary: Donna decides to practice talking to Reader, using a mini Reader!

Notes: Resident Evil 8 owns my ass and so do the lords. This is just some bashful Donna, inspired by headcanons by @wallflowerimagines! Check out their stuff, I love how they've characterized the lords and their reactions to crushes and relationships and the like. Here's the original post!

------------

And... done!

Donna closed the slot at the back of the doll's head and turned it to face her, noting all the details of her latest creation.

It had a simple uniform on: A white button down under a black vest with coattails, on its left breast was a patch of the Beneviento family crest. It was fitted with matching dark grey pants and even a pair of leather shoes for its porcelain feet.

It looked just like Y/N -- their face, their skin, their hair. It was perfect.

"Looks just like 'em, Donna!" Angie chirped, bounding up from her lap and hanging onto the side of the desk to get a better look.

Everything had to be perfect if she was going to get this plan to work, but this was just part one of... who knows how many steps. She wasn't sure exactly how long this would take, but this first step forward was better than nothing.

She set the doll gently on the desk slumped against a glass, letting out a breath as she willed the implanted Cadou to bring it to life. Angie peeked over and giggled to herself in excitement, hanging from the side to watch it all happen. Maybe when this was all done, she could have a new friend to play with too!

Soon enough, its head twitched up ever so slightly, its shining eyes trying to focus on the woman before them. They attempted to sit up straighter, their movements jerky yet slow as they tested the waters. They waved a hand in greeting, pink painted lips curling into a familiar smile.

"Good evening, Lady Beneviento!" they said, in that enthusiastic tone she knew so well. Y/N's voice wasn't quite as high pitched as the doll's, but the underlying warmth in their speech was still unmistakable.

Donna cleared her throat, giving a nod and a soft "Hello" in return.

Doll-Y/N shakily stood up on their feet, taking a few steps forward to greet the other doll. "Miss Angie, come join me up here!" They extended their hands to her, and she hoisted herself onto the wooden surface with their help. They were just about Angie's height standing up, but was now at eye level with Donna.

"Is there anything I can do for you, my lady?" they addressed the woman.

She knew it was just a title, something servants commonly called those of higher status, and she's heard Y/N say it many times, but she still couldn't help the heat rising to her cheeks at what she wished it implied.

To be someone's. To be Y/N's.

Angie was just about to respond but kept quiet with one turn of Donna's head. She made this doll to practice talking to Y/N -- the real, life-sized version of them. She wanted to spend more time with them and get used to their company. It had been so long since she tried speaking to another human being directly, almost always at a loss for words until Angie would swoop in and say what was on her mind. But she knew that with Y/N, she couldn't hide behind her forever. As much as she loved Angie and what she did for her, she also wanted to be with them as her, as Donna Beneviento. She already knew they cared for Angie like she did, and she wanted to let them know personally -- no barriers, no lies, no dolls -- how she felt.

One day, she would say everything to them. But for now, this doll should suffice.

She and Angie thought that she was used to the company of her Cadou dolls, and since she would like to get used to Y/N, then making a doll of them might help with that. Made sense, right? It wasn't ideal, but it made some sense.

She didn't quite count on how much it would be like them, though. As much as she had control over the doll, she can't control how they were when she wills it to act like them.

"If you... would like..." she started to say, almost uncertain as she glanced over at Angie. She only gave an encouraging nod in response, silently telling Donna to speak up. "You can tell me about how your day went." She did always love hearing them speak.

Doll-Y/N's face lit up, bouncing slightly on the balls of their feet and clasping their small hands behind their back. "Of course, my lady. Well, on my way to the market today, I passed a shop selling all sorts of flowers. I didn't know you could grow sunflowers around the village! Or perhaps the Duke brings them in from somewhere..."

----------

This routine went on for a few days: Donna would greet Doll-Y/N, ask about them, and they would go on about things she might already know -- hobbies they want to take up, their favorite foods and drinks, a show or movie they looked forward to watching (with her and Angie, of course), and so on. The lady would reply with some insight as well, though brief and only softly, so as to not interrupt. The doll's movements also grew smoother and more sure with every interaction, practically having Y/N's own habits and tics down pat whenever they spoke. It felt more and more like she was talking to them, the real Y/N. With every thumbs up Angie gave her after every session, it only emboldened her more. This might just work!

One day, she greeted the doll with a little more enthusiasm than usual. Y/N spent time with her and Angie at the study that evening, with her reading and them arranging some books while Angie talked to them a bit about anything they may have read recently, and new games they could play with the dolls ("And Donna", Angie threw out as a suggestion). If it weren't for her veil, Y/N would've seen how she spent most of the time watching the two people she loved converse so freely with one another, unable to help smiling at them.

Donna came back into her room practically bursting with happiness, a light "Good evening, Y/N!" escaping her as she sat down.

It seemed like Doll-Y/N noticed the positive change, so they brought up something they had in mind. "I'd like to switch things a little, if you don't mind, my lady. How was your day today?" they suggested, stepping closer to her. She suddenly grew a little shy again, hands folded neatly on Angie's lap as she kept her close.

"Oh, it was... wonderful," she replied, a smile curling on her lips.

Doll-Y/N nodded, an encouraging smile on their little face as if to tell her to continue. "I spent some of the day in the garden, watching you work for a while. Um, big you. Then I... spent the rest in the study. Also with... big you. You and Angie talked a lot about books and games." They both made such lovely company, after all. "How about you, Y/N?"

"It went by splendidly! Well, it started off just fine, with my usual chores, but after seeing you in the garden this morning I couldn't help but feel like the day's been brighter ever since," they said, taking another step forward and laying a gentle hand on her shoulder, their beaming smile ever-present.

Oh. Did they just...

She... brightened up their day? Did they really think that? Did the real Y/N think that?

"Really?" she whispered, practically sounding breathless.

"Yes. In fact, your presence alone brings more warmth and radiance than the sun ever could," they continued, their smile turning rather cheeky.

...did they just flirt with her?

Donna could feel herself sinking onto her chair, hands cupping her cheeks as if she needed to hide the raging blush underneath her cowl. Never mind that only Angie and the doll replica was here to witness it. But still! This doll looked so much like her Y/N, looking at her with those bright eyes and that charming smile and sweet look on their face and--

Did she just call them "her Y/N"?

Downstairs, Y/N heard a faint squeal and thud from the other side of the manor, setting down the dish they were washing and hurrying to the lady's room.

They knocked a little frantically, speaking through the door. "Lady Beneviento, is everything alright?"

It was Angie who answered, opening up just a crack so they wouldn't see the situation behind her.

"Hey Y/N! Everything's fine, Donna just, uh, she just dropped something and was caught off-guard is all." She seemed nervous, her eyes shifting a little and barely looking at them.

"Oh, but does Lady Beneviento need help? Did she get hurt or--"

"Nope, no! Don't worry about it, we've got it covered, I promise! Now shoo, off you go!" She waved an arm out to get them to turn around before shutting the door, leaving the somewhat concerned but even more confused servant in the hall.

Donna lifted her head up from her hands, Doll-Y/N now lying lifeless on the wooden floor. Luckily, nothing seemed to have cracked on them when she suddenly relinquished control in her embarrassment. She picked them up and gingerly leaned them against a glass on the working desk, just staring into their eyes as she tried to get her heart beat back to a normal level. Even calling them "hers" in the safety of her own thoughts was enough to fluster the poor woman. If she could see her face right now, it would undoubtedly be as red as a tomato.

Was that something Y/N would even actually say? Was her mind playing tricks on her, her feelings betraying only what she wanted to hear from them? How was she supposed to handle it if they did say that?

"I think that's enough excitement for one day," Angie commented, looking between the mostly frozen Donna and Doll-Y/N. The lady could only nod in agreement.

The next day, Donna stayed in her room, not wishing to be disturbed.

It wasn't unusual for Y/N to not hear much from Lady Beneviento and instead have Angie deliver messages and orders on her behalf, but even her personal mouthpiece seemed to want to avoid them. She just kind of... watched them mindlessly on the couch while they swept the living room. What happened last night?

"Miss Angie, is everything--"

"Please just shut up and clean the carpet."

#resident evil village #resident evil 8 #donna beneviento #donna beneviento x reader #lady beneviento #lady beneviento x reader #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #re8

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