#jungkook imagines
moonbeamjin · 1 day
for the obs drabbles... the first time in their relationship that jk felt jealous 👀
our beloved summer; a drabble
“What was that?” you demand, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
“What?” Jungkook asks, like he doesn’t know exactly what you’re talking about. He swings his legs casually from his seat on top of your work desk, dangerous close to your second favorite mug that you brought to the library. If his hand shot up, the ceramic would definitely fall to the ground, shattering to pieces along with your sanity. You would probably kill him if it happened.
“You were so rude to Minho!”
“Was I?” He scrunches his nose and looks upward, making a face that’s just mocking you. “I don’t think I was.”
“Yes, you were,” you deadpan, glaring at him, serious as hell. “It was not cool. You were so mean the entire night. You practically shoved him out the door the second his shift was over.”
Minho is a new library assistant who just started 3 weeks ago. You don’t really have much in common with him, nor do you have any shared classes, so there’s not a lot to talk about when your shifts overlap. But he’s a nice guy and a comforting presence to be around.
Not tonight though, because Jungkook has been loitering around the library till now even after his classes ended at 3PM and your evening shift didn’t start until 6. He was very insistent that he be around today, even when you told him to just go home and call it a day.
“I told you not to call me that anymore.” He squints at you but you hold your ground. You don’t know what’s gotten into him today, nor why he bothered to stick around when he was going to act like this. He made sure to kiss you every time Minho so much as turned in your direction, even though you made him promise to cool it with the PDA. Jungkook was childish and rude and deserved to be smacked over the head. You could tell that Minho was so uncomfortable the whole time he was here.
“And I told you not to be an ass to my friend, but it seems like we can’t all get what we want.”
Jungkook raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Oh? A couple of weeks ago, he was just “Minho the new guy” but now he’s your friend?”
Honestly? No. You think he’s probably an acquaintance at best, but if Jungkook wants to be a brat, then two can play at game. You’re nothing if not petty.
This probably shouldn’t be how you deal with real life problems, though.
“You heard me,” you say. “He’s my friend because he doesn’t embarrass me in front of other people.”
Jungkook chuckles humorlessly and hops off the desk. It only takes you a couple of long strides to walk toward where you’re standing, by one of the shelves with your little cart of books. He bypasses the cart to stand right in front of you, towering over your frame. You should be finishing up to go home, but instead you're here entertaining his temper tantrum.
You try to push him out of the way but he doesn't budge. "Move. I need to stack these."
Jungkook ignores you. "Did you know that your friend was going to ask you out tonight?"
"What?" you scoff. "Stop talking shit and admit that you were an ass for no reason, Jeon."
"Stop calling me th– Oh my god." He inhales sharply, visibly irritated. He pinches the bridge of his like you are the one supposed to be scolded here. The gall. "I'm serious. I heard him and his friends in the cafe. Said he thinks you're pretty and smart. And funny! Which we all know is an overstatement because you can be dry as fuck sometimes–"
You stare at him as he rambles on about your other traits that Minho found charming. Seems like Jungkook's ears really got a workout from all that eavesdropping. You watch the slight furrow between his brows and the pout on his lips as he talks like he's lecturing you, all annoyed and immature and most of all–
Ah, so you see what this is. You should've seen right through him when he sent Minho that first dagger glare.
You bite back a smile.
"And you know what he said after that? He said you look like you would– Why are you looking at me like that?"
You narrow your eyes at him with a smirk and pat him on the cheek. "So you're jealous."
Jungkook's mouth falls open in shock like you just insulted his entire family. "Jealous? Of Minho? That guy?" he gasps.
"Mhmm. I can't believe I didn't realize that."
"You didn't realize shit because it's not true!"
"Then why were you mad at Minho?" you challenge.
Jungkook glares at you again. Deep down (maybe he doesn't even need to reach that deep) he knows you've got all figured out, but he won't admit it that easily. After all, he's the most stubborn person he knows.
"Because he should know where his place is," he says simply, then mutters under his breath something that you catch. "The balls to ask out someone who's got a boyfriend..."
"One, that sounds awfully like jealousy to me. And two, who says I have a boyfriend?"
Jungkook stares at you, so unimpressed that it's kinda funny. "Are you serious?"
You raise a hand over your chest. "As serious as a heart attack."
"Then what the fuck am I?"
You hum to yourself, pretending to be in thought. The look on his face tells you he's so goddamn frustrated right now. See? You can be pretty annoying too. It's fun to tease him. It's a lot less fun when you realize that you'd have to apologize for Jungkook's behavior the next time you see Minho, but that's a problem for later.
"I can name a lot of things that you are. A dumbass, a sore loser, not my boyfriend–"
"What?" you ask, innocently batting your eyelashes at him. "I don't remember us having any conversation about the B word and G word."
"Fine. Then we're having that conversation right now. Be my girlfriend."
You scrunch your nose. "No, thanks. I'll pass."
You take advantage of Jungkook's momentary dumbfounded state to push him to the side so you can push the book cart to the next aisle. He stumbles a little and has to hold on to the shelve to regain his balance, but he catches up to you pretty quickly.
You keep moving though, humming a tune to yourself. It's driving him positively nuts and you're just relishing in it.
"Gotta work for the title, bud."
His footsteps stop, and this makes you stop too. When you turn around to see what he's doing, you find a blank look on his face. Before you can even raise an eyebrow in question, Jungkook's long legs are already taking three strides to get to you. His broad chest pins you against the bookshelf before you even know what's happening.
Then his mouth is on yours.
One of his hands cups your face as he kisses you hard. You whimper in surprise, but your hands are already reaching for his waist, up his chest, around the back his neck and into his hair, where your fingers weave through the soft locks, tugging on them, making him groan against your lips.
You allow Jungkook to slip his tongue inside your mouth, eager to feel him closer. The butterflies go batshit insane, erupting in your belly, sending tingles from your head to your toes. His lips feel so nice that you can't help but press yourself further against his body. He alternates between soft and slow, hard and fast, and it's so goddamn addicting that you just want to keep chasing that feeling forever. Something in your chest somersaults.
It isn't until Jungkook pulls away that you realize you're in desperate need of air. You bite your bottom lip, trapped in a daze, staring at the smirk on his lips.
"Have I earned it?" he asks.
His hand caresses your jaw. He leans closer again to let his mouth brush against yours and whoops, there they go the again. The goddamn butterflies.
"Have I earned the title? Your boyfriend?"
You blink stupidly until you take in enough oxygen for your brain to work. Your fingers tighten on his hair as you say, "Kiss me like that again and I might reconsider."
Jungkook rolls his eyes but complies anyway.
No one even remembers who the fuck Minho is anymore.
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gentletaes · 1 day
— 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 | 𝐣𝐣𝐤 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞)
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part one: introductions
❀ summary: after not receiving his soul mark on his 24th birthday, jungkook is left heartbroken. he was a hopeless romantic after all and there was nothing more he wanted in the world than to have his one. his special one. worldwide fame, millions of fans, and being in the most well-known boy band in the world aside, his heart jumps three folds when he meets you. but what happens when you don’t want him? don’t want his fame and stardom and to be connected in such a way with him? what happens when it’s not just a connection, but something deeper? intimate. consuming.
“if they aren’t soulmates, what are they?”
“fated ones.”
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nmjoo-n · 2 months
FADE INTO YOU ☕️ jeon jungkook.
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pair. barista! jungkook x f. reader | genre. friends with benefits, romance, jealousy, angst | warnings. possessiveness, profanity, pet names, unprotected sex, slight toxic behavior, degradation kink, zenophilia, oral sex, edging, spit kink, exhibitionism, smoking | word count. 4.7k
synopsis. “oh angel, for how fucking adorable you are, you sure don’t use that pretty little brain of yours much,” or jungkook has no limits when it comes to you. you’re his, he’s gonna get it through your head, eventually.
You dared bring another fucking guy in his work place.
Was it deliberate? God knows you love your little fucking mind games, especially if Jungkook’s on the receiving end. Oh, he was beyond furious. He had half a mind o spit in the fuckers coffee and smugly watch as he drinks that shit, completely unaware as he desperately tries to shove his tongue down your throat after that, one date in.
But you’d know. You were always better at reading him, deciphering the different expressions on his face. He ought to bruise your fucking ass for this, spank you till you’re dripping wet for him, and then shove his cock in your mouth, facefuck you until your stupid hole is sore, and your cunt is clenching for no one but him.
What a pathetic loser. What the fuck did you see in this clown?
“Dude, you’re shaking. You okay?” Jimin nudges him with his elbow, raising a questioning eyebrow, black hair falling in his curious eyes.
Jungkook shakes his head, and removes his apron angrily, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and phone with him. He knows he’s being unreasonable; you’re single, and beautiful, God so fucking beautiful it physically hurts him, and he’s just the lucky guy that gets to fuck you whenever you’re up for it, nothing more, nothing less. A supporting character. Fuck, he knows. But his feelings are for him, they’re private, and right now they’re out of fucking control.
The urge to punch your date in the throat is driving him up a wall. He needs to get the fuck away from here—away from you and your innocent, ignorant ways. Deep breaths, deep fucking breaths Jeon, she hasn’t fucked him yet, and don’t you dare picture that, don’t be a fucking dick, walk away, walk away now.
“I’m going on break,” he announces, but he’s already on the other side of the counter, going for the door, hands busy with the lighter you gifted him on his birthday.
You’ve said your hello’s, you exchanged the necessary, polite words you do every time you see each other in public so there’s nothing else to say. He doesn’t look at you as he passes by, can’t bear to. There’s nothing else you could possibly want with him, not unless it’s after hours, behind closed bedroom doors. Or bathroom ones—or rooftops, staircases, couches, balconies, the beach that one time, his car, the steering wheel digging into your lower back, just last week—no.
Not fucking going there.
Sitting on the ledge right outside the shop, he puts the cig in his mouth, bringing that silver lighter close to it, lighting the edge of it. Taking an inhale of the stick between his fingers, he feels the harmful calm it produces overtake him for the first time that day. He needed nicotine like he needed your pussy pressed against his face, especially since you walked in with that lame looking motherfucker after you told him you’d call.
You never did.
Jungkook doesn’t want to be this way; he never used to curse this much, smoke this much, not before he met you. You’ve tested him in every possible way a man can be tested, have haunted his every waking thought, have wrapped him around your pretty fucking finger and are twirling him around in a never ending, whiplash inducing dance out of which there’s no escape. He’d do anything for you, be anything for you, god he already has, but you couldn’t care less. There was no love in you for him—not the kind he has for you.
Trust him, he wishes he could cut all ties with you, forget you. Stop loving you so goddamn much. But there’s no button for that, no way he can get out of his own body, discard his heart.
Goddamn him, his fucking dick is hard just with the proximity of you. Knowing you were near, having smelled your perfume earlier, the sweetness of your scent mixed with vanilla and something floral, something he’s only smelled on you, and that cursed mini skirt, fuck him, with those legs of yours… legs he’s had wrapped around his torso, over his shoulders, legs he’s kissed a thousand times over, has run his hands over, has worshipped.
No, you couldn’t do this to him. This is the last time you fuck him over, the last time he lets you—he’s going to put you in your fucking place, he decides. He’s going to have to show you who’s been there for you, who fucks you dumb, senseless—who’s cock you’ve been screaming for over and over again, who’s cum you’re craving down your throat almost every night.
Who you belong to. Because fuck anyone that dares so much as think they can have you. You’re his. He just has to get it through that thick head of yours, once and for all. Before he goes fucking insane.
Finishing his smoke, he ties his hair back and away from his face, getting off your Instagram page at once. Look at him, obsessing over your whereabouts, the tags on your pictures, who you’re with when he’s not with you. In you. Fucking ridiculous.
He goes to your last text conversation, a curt message from you two days ago at three in the morning. His eyes skim over it, reading it in your drunk voice, that delicious slur of your tongue, the way you must’ve slowly blinked at his texting you so late in the night. He wants you to think of him always, all goddamn day. As much as he does.
He wants you as obsessed as him.
[03:21am] just came home.
[03:22am] it’s late (y/n). go to sleep.
He decides to text you, then. Make sure you know he’s not going to let this go, that you’re taking it too far coming there, dressed like that, and with another man when his seed is still inside of you.
[19:07pm] is this my replacement? disappointed in you sweetheart.
If Jungkook’s good at anything—he knows how to get a good rise out of you. All that’s left is to sit patiently and wait. You’ll come to him, eventually. You always do.
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A half an hour later, you’re standing in front of him, manicured nails digging into your crossed arms in barely contained anger.
He wipes his hands with a rug, giving Jimin the drinks he’d just made, completely ignoring your thunderous glaring. He feels those eyes pierce through his soul, though. How can he not—he’s never been very good at pretending, and God knows you demand all of his attention.
“Replacement? Really, Jungkook?”
Jimin looks between the two of you, sensing the tension. He’s always suspected there’s something going on, but that just confirmed it. Failing to hide his smirk, he balances the tray in one palm and fucks off to the last remaining table for the day.
“Am I wrong?” Jungkook stares at your mouth, the dark stain of your lips, the curve of your jaw, those ample cheeks of yours—you’ve such a cute fuckable face, it’s one of his worst weaknesses.
He can never stay mad at you for long.
“You are.”
“My apologies, angel.”
The sarcasm doesn’t escape you.
You sigh, leaning against the counter, extending both hands towards him. He blinks at them, his own morphing into fists at his sides. He wouldn’t cave in, not this time. You needed to be taught a lesson. You needed to stop refusing him, treating him like second choice.
“Can we talk about this later?” You say in that velvet voice of yours, the one that never fails to hypnotize him into submission. “He’s waiting for me outside.”
Jungkook let’s out a dry laugh, nodding his head bitterly at your words. There’s no magic behind them today, no spell. “We wouldn’t want him to wait,” he deadpans.
You huff, and remove yourself from the bar completely. His body instinctively moves closer, but his mind is set. A terrible fucking jealousy is eating him alive, setting him aflame.
“You’re acting childish.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not the one two-timing people,” he retorts as calmly as possible, wanting to hurt you a little. Nothing like how you’ve hurt him. “Does he know how filthy you like getting fucked? How there’s another man that knows his way around your body like the palm of his fucking hand?”
You step back, face betraying guilt. “Stop it.”
He shrugs, and winks at you, proud of himself. “It’s the truth, angel. Don’t bring him into this if you don’t want him getting hurt.”
“You’re such an asshole, Jeon Jungkook,” you snapped, eyes glittering with tears. Jungkook looked away at once, his jaw clenching in annoyance.
Are you really taking that fuckers side? How long have you known him? Maybe a fucking week, if he had to guess. Jungkook has had you for years.
“Don’t ruin this for me,” you demanded, stomping your foot like a little kid.
Jimin had returned to his post next to his friend, and was witnessing your amusing temper tantrum. He also noticed the younger man’s struggle, the effort it took to stay put in that place of his.
“Ruin?” He mused over the word out loud, then laughed wholeheartedly, with his entire chest. It was an empty sound, a patronizing thing. “If you want to go with him, be my fucking guest baby girl. But if you do,” he warns, forearm resting on the wood in front of him. “you better forget about me. I’m not fucking sharing you.”
You stood hurt, a sour expression curving those perfect lips downwards, weighing your options. This was the moment Jungkook would finally see if you truly thought anything of him, if he mattered enough for you. Or at least if he was more important than a random guy you picked off a club. And God he hoped, for your sake, you picked him. Otherwise he would not be responsible for the Hell he’d give you afterwards.
Who he’d become if you dropped him. He’s scared of himself.
“What’s it going to be?” He presses, pinning you in place with those dark orbs. “Don’t make me become someone I don’t want to be, honey. You and I both know you’ll regret it.”
“Fuck you.”
Jungkook smiles at you, all charm and danger. “It’d be my pleasure.”
When you sulkily sit on the bar stool, and start typing on your phone, your decision sets in him. You chose him. His chest swells, his cock straining against his pants. He’d take you right then and there if he could; lift you on top of the counter, and fuck into you until all you know is his name, until all other men pale in comparison to him. What he does instead—he pulls your face in for a bruising kiss, his big hand cupping your jaw tightly, his tongue forcing your lips open.
“Get a room, Jesus,” he hears Jimin mutter, but he could give less of a fuck. He’s waited way too long for this. Let them watch, I know how to put on a fucking show.
You melt under his touch, letting him consume you. He growls low, and bites down on your bottom lip. You moan, and everything blurs—you’re alone. He craves nothing but you, needs to have you before insanity renders him incapable of fucking you properly.
“I’m getting off early,” he hesitantly pulls back and slaps Jimin’s chest, apron coming off in a blink of an eye.
“Sure, yeah, cause you can do that,” his friend sarcastically replies, but lets him go anyway.
“Don’t be too mad at him,” you add, smiling sweetly. Jimin smiles back, can’t help it. Jungkook glares, messenger bag over his shoulder, and jumps over the wooden top in one swift move.
“Stop fucking staring, Park,” he wraps an arm around your waist protectively, and takes you away. “I’m off!”
You barely made it to the car, before Jungkook turned you around, locking you between the passenger door and his muscled chest. His knee pushed between your legs, your hands on his sides squeezing the skin there. His head dipped to your ear, voice soothing you open, receptive. When his fingers disappeared beneath your skirt, a gasp tore through your throat, goosebumps rising on your skin.
You wanted him too, your pussy told him so. Your panties were all creamed up, thighs begging to be rubbed together to provide any sort of friction. He gave it to you, the pad of his thumb rubbing over your clit. You were throbbing—fuck how much he loved this.
“Tell me baby girl, were you going to keep him around for me to watch while you get fucked? You know you only have to ask,” he whispered, teasing you with those long fucking fingers of his.
In plain sight, for everyone to see. Christ.
“Like Hell you would,” you retort, breathless. “You’re a selfish man, Jungkook.”
He smirks at that, clicks his tongue against his teeth, and chuckles darkly. “You’re right on that,” he pulls you on him and rubs his erection against your clothed cunt. “Can’t let no one touch what is mine.”
“I’m not yours.” A weak remark, as your hips moved with his. He ignored it entirely.
He saw your naked neck, the way you swallowed, and attacked the sensitive skin there, grazing it with his teeth, sucking harshly on it. You hissed at the sensation, yet wanted more. What a contradiction of a woman, Jungkook thought, pulling me in but pushing me away. Unfortunately, for what he was planning on doing to you, he couldn’t be seen.
“Oh, but you are,” he whispers against your cheek, cuffing both of your wrists in one hand behind your back, slowly opening the car door for you to get in. “Oh angel, for how fucking adorable you are, you sure don’t use that pretty little brain of yours much.”
He lowered his head to be on eye level with you. He couldn’t possibly make it any clearer, not unless he bought a ring and put some babies in you.
“I own you.”
Your eyes told him so. The musk on his fingers guaranteed it. He smacked the door shut, licking your juices clean off. You tasted like fucking paradise.
He’d fucking destroy you.
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Jungkook loved your neck, how easily it could turn purple, how perfect his hand fit around it, almost like it was made for him. He wouldn’t doubt it for a fucking second—the rest of you molded all over him, every nook and cranny.
Lifting you up the kitchen table, he felt like taking you raw, just like that; pushing your skirt up and burying himself in your folds. His thumb hooked between your lips, pressed down to open your mouth, your gaze following his movements closely. Pudding in his hands, to do whatever he pleased. Every time.
“Look at my little slut,” he admired, pushing his thumb in his second favorite hole of yours. “Suck, baby, show me what that mouth does best.” You did, your tongue swiping all around, over and under, wetting and sucking dry, repeating again and again, until Jungkook was satisfied.
He never was. If he could, he’d fucking snort you up, have you run through his bloodstream for the rest of time. His perfect fucking girl, the one that refuses to give into him, the one that drives him mad.
“Are you thinking about him?” He asks you, the same jealousy nibbling at him. It never left—it never leaves. “How his fingers taste, how they’d curl inside that cunt of yours? It’s fucking morphine, did you know, sweetheart? Why do you think you got me on my knees for you?”
He removes his digit, and decides playtime is over. He’s been lenient enough. You notice exactly when the change takes place, when his eyes darken, and your breathing quickens, fear replacing exhilaration. This was the cruel man that could make you come just with his filthy words. As much as you fucking loved it, he was ruthless—absolutely brutal.
“No,” you mumble, shaking your head. “No, Kook, no, I never—”
Not your coffee boy, but the one that uses a belt to teach you lessons. The one that always knows just how far you’re willing to go.
“Shut the fuck up. You knew what you were doing.”
Jungkook spits in your open mouth, squeezing your throat submissive. You struggle to breathe, but you take it, tightening your thighs around his hips in shameful arousal. He watches you swallow, tongue coming out to show him, just as he likes. He rewards you with a suffocating kiss, before he does it again.
“I bet you wondered how his dick would feel against those velvet fucking walls of yours,” he continued his verbal torture, his other hand pushing your panties to the side, feeling your slick, lapping it with his index, before shoving three fingers inside you at once. You hissed, nails digging holes on his shoulders.
“Yeah?” He fucks you with his entire hand, palm rubbing against your clit. You can’t think of nothing else but getting filled to the brim. “Your mouth works doesn’t it, honey?”
“No one’s fucked me but you in two years,” you confess in a haze, looking at him through your eyelids. Silver shone on his lip and eyebrow under the hidden lighting of his apartment. A shadow draped in gold.
You saw the movement of his jaw, the way his mouth became a thin line. He obviously enjoyed hearing that. But was it enough? Fuck no.
“But they’ve touched you,” he bitterly concludes. “They’ve tasted my pussy, my lips… haven’t they?” He sounded so miserable, so resentful. Your heart ached for him.
You loved this man, but he would never believe you, and you can’t blame him. You loved him in a different way, the only way you knew how. And he did the same. You met and crashed like waves. Your silence was answer enough.
The next moment struck like lightning. All you felt was pain, as he pushed you down on your elbows and ripped your panties off you in one movement. You weren’t even able to scream, the action barely registering in your brain.
“Unbutton my shirt,” he instructed you, no part of him touching you whatsoever. A shudder rippled through you, and down to your unclothed pussy. You scrambled to do as told, afraid of the consequences, hands shaking.
Jungkook groaned impatiently. “Stupid fucking whore, can’t even do something as simple as this,” he snarled at your face, every ounce of affection gone. “D’you need help, sweetheart? Perhaps a manual? None of this is helping your case, you know.”
“I’m—I’m sorry, please,” you whimper, hurrying to undo the stubborn buttons.
He cocked an eyebrow, gaze vicious. Hateful. Something kicked inside of you, a horrifying feeling—you were losing him. He was going to leave you after this. All he’s ever wanted, all you very much were aware of that he craved most—to have you all to himself, to call you his. You never gave it to him, always held back, and for what you’ve no idea. But this, having your body, pleasuring the both of you, it was the one thing if not the only part he had, the one thing he could do, he was allowed.
“Please,” he repeated, the word seemingly unfamiliar to him. “Please, what? Are you sorry at all, baby girl? Do you want me to go easy on you?”
You shake your head again, pushing the shirt off him, bulky muscle now exposed, the chiseled chest you so loved running your tongue over, and the V disappearing beneath his boxers, inviting, nearly a threat.
“Fuck me,” you pleaded, reaching a hand out to touch him, his most private part. “Please. I know I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry, please set me straight, fuck it out of me, I want only you, I promise, only you.”
“Lies,” he shouts, and lunges at you, pinning you down by your waist, skirt pulled roughly from your body. You’re met with the ceiling, but won’t dare move, won’t make a sound unless he tells you to. It’s a thin fucking line you’re walking on, one you haven’t experienced a whole lot.
You hear a shuffling of sorts, before a thud and then you feel it—his hot breath on your cold folds. Those veiny hands on your hips again, before he devours you. The vibration of his growling sends you into a frenzy, and you clench around nothing. Your clit between his sinful lips he sucks painfully at first, wanting to hurt you, but gently afterwards, after your cries settle and you’ve accepted your fate.
You’re at his mercy, and you better behave.
“Used fucking pussy,” he spits on it, fingers working together with his mouth to get you ready for his bulging cock. “What am I supposed to do with a second hand slut like you, huh? Begging to be filled with dick, dripping over my kitchen table…” he tsk’s, tongue flat against your wetness. “You don’t fucking need me, right, I’m just another naive guy wrapped around your goddamn finger, you could have me replaced at any time.”
“That’s not true!” you cry out immediately, hand getting lost in his thick brown locks. “Fuck!” A slap cuts the air—on your pussy. And he does it again, smacks the sensitive area until it’s red and throbbing and licking all over his chin.
“Quiet,” he snaps. “I can make it hurt like never before, honey, don’t fucking test me.”
You’re certain you’re losing your mind by that point, the ache between your legs overwhelming everything else, the thought of needing his cock like you need oxygen the only reasonable solution to making the pain go away. You’re coming before you know it, and Jungkook is a starving man, he licks it all up, licks you dry, marveling at the way your body responds to him, always has.
If only your heart would do the same. If only there was something he could do to make it beat only for him, as his does for you.
“No one will make you come like I do, sweetheart, God my fucking witness. No one knows their way around this pussy like I do, no one will fucking take the time.”
You go to sit up, pull him into you, needing comfort, needing your friend back, the one that made you feel good because you asked, not the half mad one, the obsession, the misshapen thing—for once you need his warm love, the one he’s been talking about, the one hiding behind the heartbreak. You don’t care how awful that is, how selfish you sound.
His palm presses down on your stomach as he towers over you, taking all light with him, flushed cock standing proudly between you, inches away from where you need it most. If he would just move closer, if perhaps you could wiggle further down the table…
“Do not fucking move, angel,” he warns, kissing your sobs silent. With a flick of his wrist, your breasts are in full view, his fingers pinching the erect nipples, calloused palms slapping the plump skin, abusing it.
Every touch vibrates directly in your cunt. You’ve become a blubbering mess, needing nothing but that long stick between his legs. A whore, as he said, a whore with no other purpose than taking dick, his dick, only his, because he’s the only one you want, the only one you need, the only one touching you like this, pushing your limits, driving you over the edge—
“Look at you, my beautiful mess,” he kisses your lips again and again, yet refuses to touch your core. Endless torture, when will it end, when will it end! “Do you understand now? This is what it feels having you under me every night, yet not having you at all,” he shushes your gut wrenching cries, removes your hands from your face, forces you to look at him. “My baby, my love…” he coo’s tenderly, caressing all the way down your body, before his arms hook under your thighs.
He positions you just at the edge of the round table, and quickly leans to lap at your cunt one last time. Christ, fucking Heaven in a woman; it’s alright sweetheart, it’s over, shhh, no more crying, I got you where I want you, I’ll take care of you now, no more crying, fuck if you could see yourself right now, so goddamn hot, a fucking vision just for me, just for your man, you perfect angel, you perfect fucking thing, all for me, all this for me—
You couldn’t describe the tidal wave of relief that washed over you as soon as he buried himself inside you. Both hands on your waist, he slammed you down onto his rock hard cock, his pace fast, relentless, absolutely everything you could’ve ever asked for.
“Harder, fuck, fucking kill me! Don’t stop, please, please, please, please…” incoherent thoughts jumbled together in a string of words, yet Jungkook understood perfectly.
Of course he did.
“Fucking slut…only way you deserve to be fucked…I’m gonna flip this cunt inside out, sweetheart, so no one will be able to screw you. You’re taking my cock so well, baby girl, fuck I want to tear you apart, I want to write my name in this pussy, mark it,” he growled in your ear, manhandling you like a goddamn lifeless doll, pistoling into you with incredible force, so much so you’d think he’d bruise you from the inside, but you couldn’t stop begging him to do so, all of it feeling oh so fucking good.
You want me to mark you, don’t you, you want me drilling into you all fucking day, I know you do, you insatiable goddamn pain in the ass, let me hear you, scream for me, baby, let me know who’s fucking you—say my name, he tightens his grip on your throat, his eyes insane with lust.
“Say my fucking name.”
“Jungkook,” you moan into his hair, nails scratching down his back.
“That’s right, baby. Again.”
I fucking love you, sweetheart, I don’t give a fuck if you never love me back, just give me this pussy, let me drown in it, let me get lost and hide forever in your folds, yeah baby? Come for me now, cream on my dick sweet thing, c’mon, one two three—you scream at the top of your lungs, holding onto him for fear life as your body convulses violently, his own release spurting in thick white strips on your stomach as he barely manages to pull out, and everything goes black. He keeps you on him until you calm down, his pace slow and steady, fucking you both back down to reality.
Your breathing is incredibly labored, hair sticking on your forehead. You look so fucking beautiful to him, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. His pretty girl. He kisses your forehead overtaken by the strange feeling in his chest.
“God—I love you, you know?” You mumble against his chin, suddenly very shy.
Jungkook stills, his entire world pausing its spinning. “What did you just say?”
You try to cover your face, but to no avail. He’s much stronger than you, much more determined to look into those eyes that could never lie to him. You could make him the happiest man on earth or send him down to the darkest pits of Hell with just three words.
“I love you,” you repeat hesitantly, looking up at him. His expression crumbles. “I know it doesn’t mean anything, that I’m late and you probably want nothing more to do with me after this, but—”
His palm slams your mouth shut. Your eyes widen in surprise.
Jungkook then, still inside you, looks at you with the fondest look on his face, his body weight pressing down on you in the most delicious way.
“You’ve no idea what the fuck you’re saying right now, sweetheart, so I’ll forgive you,” he blinks, bewildered, in disbelief. “I never said I’m leaving you. It’s never crossed my mind.”
You furrow your eyebrows, but your words are muffled. He seems to comprehend perfectly well, anyway.
“You could kill me if you wanted, and I’d willingly die by your hand, (Y/N). Have you any idea what it means to love you?”
When he kisses you again, you think you can begin to understand.
4K notes · View notes
taegularities · 7 months
not my fault | jjk (m)
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Summary: After sparking a sinful conversation on a dating app, you vow to yourself that you won’t give in to more the notorious college fuckboy Jeon Jungkook might have to offer. That is, until he rings your doorbell just one night later – and it’s truly not your fault that he’s so damn hard to resist.
➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: classmates to lovers, college!au; fluff, smut ➵ warnings: sexual tension, flirting/teasing/provoking, banter, a dating app :’), she has a crush on him but won’t admit it, grumpy roommate joon, crack dialogue, fuckboy!jk who wears glasses in class, idk that much about pharmacy i apologise; explicit sexual content: sexting, he makes her horny in public, petnames !!, fingering, edging, oral (f. & m. rec.), dom and big cawk jk wbk, he’s SO cocky, spanks (ass & clit ones), some choking, praising, messy but protected sex, she swallows his load <3, jk rlly loves her ass <3 ➵ word count: 12.6k ➵ a/n: been itching to write a lighthearted college au for so long and here we gooo !! @missgeniality​​​​​​​ thank you for enduring me and making this better and for not k*lling me yet, love thou, kitty <33 enjoy y’all – feedback is always appreciated !! <3
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“What’s with the constant yelling on this goddamn campus?”
Namjoon is not a friend of noise and crowds – as a self-declared claustrophobic, the cheers around him sound eerie and mind-numbing, and for once, you can’t blame him. Because every usually silent corner of your university is exploding, and you’re sure a few windows are already cracking at the shrill blow of the constant screams.
“What’s with you?” you ask back, nudging his elbow playfully as you clutch the strap of your bag tighter.
You want to make him laugh, but your friend is as gloomy as ever, not quite ready – or awake – to give into your jokes just yet. You figure he might be once he gets ready for bed.
“Those cheerleaders,” he points to the group of girls, and you think his voice, calm and low on other days, is close to breaking. It’s hilarious – it reminds you of his adolescent days. “They sound like this creepy sorority video on YouTube. Make it stop.”
You shudder, because you know exactly what he’s talking about. If he hadn’t shown it to you on a dark, quiet Halloween night right after watching Sinister and It, it might not be engraved in your mind like some daunting, unsolved supernatural mystery.
Pouting, you stare to the ground, tucking back your hair. “We should’ve watched Buzzfeed Unsolved instead.”
The campus has been extra noisy these days – because not only is the semester coming to its end, but your nerves have been buzzing due to the approaching exam season, too. On top of that, the college is finally bidding farewell to its local sweethearts as if a group of renowned scientists is letting go of its strongest pioneer.
You guess Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok were somewhat trailblazing after all – athletic, attractive, top of their classes and the talk of the school for literal years.
But with them leaving, the attention is shifting; and with the already continuous excitement, there’s one other hot topic left – a thriving fuckboy who shares quite a few classes with you and will still be here next semester. Very likely to corrupt innocent girls’ minds; to charm someone new at the very next frat party he might crash.
And he’ll do it next semester, too. And the one after.
A piece of advice – pharmacy really isn’t the major for you if you opt to finish in the required or recommended time. Seems like Jeon Jungkook’s existence will still roam the campus like a plague, make you roll your eyes back into your head for a while longer.
You don’t care about such things, you always say. You’d much rather focus on your education.
Right when your thoughts begin drifting off, a girl walks past Namjoon and screams into the warm summer air, and her voice still rings in your ears when you hear him complain, “Jeez, what the actual fuck.”
“A few more steps and we’re off campus grounds.”
“A few more steps and we’ll enter an apartment with my books scattered around.”
You shrug and sigh, admonishing him, “Hey, I told you to start with your shit on time.”
Namjoon stares at you as if he’s attempting to annihilate you with his gaze, shooting invisible lasers at you before he mocks, “If I had a hot girl I’m crushing on cheering for me in class, I’d be just as motivated as you are.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you state, your demeanour calm and clueless, your shoulders shrugging so often they might get stuck in place.
“I’m talking about the grand nerd slash fuckboy extraordinaire who–”
“He’s really not that great.”
“He’s fucking top of his year… will get awards and honours. It’s the college equivalent of a valedictorian.”
Your steps slow down, and you slide your hands into the pockets of your jumpsuit, squinting at the polished car that reflects the sun as you breathe, “Speaking of the devil.”
In a far corner, you watch Jungkook stand near the road with the door of his vehicle open, presumably letting out the hot suffocating air that has collected inside. He’s talking to some girl who’s pushing herself uncomfortably close to him, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Because in the next moment, he’s smirking back, tilting his head before she gets into the passenger’s seat.
“What you staring at?” Namjoon questions before he follows your gaze, coming to a halt when you do.
“Missing dick.”
He laughs and shakes his head, kicking the grass underneath his feet before he utters, “Here we go again.”
“What?” Jungkook’s car drives into the sunset, very 90s movie style, the delicate, grinning heroine next to him laughing, and you turn to Namjoon to stare at him. “Do you know how long I’ve been under this dry spell? I–” you wave your hand in dramatic motions, cocking an eyebrow, “I feel my virginity growing back.”
“You know what I’m gonna suggest.”
“Kim Namjoon.”
“Listen,” he exclaims, a full-lipped mouth falling open, “dating apps exist for a reason. If you won’t do it, I will.”
“I…” Perplexed, you wait, closing your eyes for an exhausted moment before you sigh and nod. “Sure.”
But in all honesty – perhaps you’d rather embrace your regrowing virginity instead of giving in to the last resort that are dating apps.
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The nightly wildlife chirps even in this part of the city – you for one are happy to be connected to nature somehow, even if it means to open your window to mosquitos every other night.
You think the clock might strike eleven soon, but you don’t give it much of a thought as you stroll along the streets, your mind still fogged from grinding for your exams. The summer breeze feels nice – clears your head a bit.
Thumbs hooked in the pockets of your shorts, you take a deep breath, peeking at the stars for a brief moment before you hear the sound of music crawl closer. You think you recognise the song as an early Lindsey Stirling track. You’re sure the neighbourhood appreciates being woken up by the rhythmic melody of dubstep and violins.
A car pulls up next to you and comes to a stop, and the driver turns the music down before leaning in and revealing himself as the popular wonderkid par excellence.
“What are you doing out here so late and alone, love?”
The nickname makes your insides palpitate, and you think his voice elicits goosebumps where it shouldn’t. You attempt your best to keep your cool, brushing your tresses out of your face before you question back, “What are you doing here?”
“I, uh, live nearby?”
“And you’re alone, too?” you add, your eyes darting to the backseat and back to him. “Didn’t you pick someone up just this afternoon?”
He flashes a poised smirk at you, his eyes crinkled and full of mischief as he chants, “Oh, you noticed that?”
You shrug your shoulders, balancing your weight from one leg to the other when he asks, “Done with homework and studying?”
“Yes, boss,” you answer, stepping closer to the edge of the pavement, “internalised every bit of information related to quality control and whatnot.”
“Want me to give you a lift?”
“I literally live in that block over there, Jungkook,” you clarify, pointing to the complex three streets away, and the movement of his head follows your finger.
But he doesn’t cave in just yet, calloused fingertips tapping at the steering wheel as he suggests, “Let me drive you around a bit then.”
“What if you kidnap me?”
“Well, first of all, you’ve known me for years, and second, you’re not a kid anymore. It’d just be napping, and you’d be crazy not to want that.”
You wish you didn’t laugh at his lame joke. Now, you suddenly don’t understand how his other chicks fall for his humour this fast, because he’s obviously out of juice, and won’t be able to swoon you.
…Into falling for him.
But luring you into his car? Sure.
“Fine,” you say, puffing out a breath before you get in.
He glances at the street, checking for intruding traffic before he drives off and you ask, “What are you doing so late?”
“Just went for a drive. It’s a pleasant night.”
You press onto the button next to you to let the window shift down further, basking in the gust of the gentle night. You can taste the summer from where you sit, delicate and flowery, and you let a soft smile play around your lips before you inquire, “Why don’t you go for a walk instead? To save Mother Earth and prevent global warming and stuff.”
“I do usually go for walks,” Jungkook defends, swaying slightly to the song that you recognise yet again. “Just missed her.”
“Mirage. My car.”
Of course he’d name his car.
You sigh. Maybe you’re overgeneralising; putting him in a drawer filled with files of every playful fuckboy and frat boy in existence. But Jungkook does seem nice – he’s always been nice. And he’s not a frat boy either.
You sit up in your seat, smiling at him before you point at the radio and tell him, “I didn’t know you were a Swiftie.”
“Oh, I am!” he notes, singing along a few words of 22 before he adds, “I actually have the tape version of Red! It’s somewhere… in the cracks of the backseats, though, lemme…”
“Oh, you really don’t need to–”
But before you can argue some more, he’s pulled into a parking lot swiftly and stepped out of his car. He re-emerges in the backseat of Mirage, sifts through the slits with a grimace that suggests he’s touched something he didn’t want to, and then cheers, “Found it!”
With a sigh, you grab the vintage cassette and follow his instructions as to what to press or not, and when one of Taylor’s songs chimes, you leave the car, stretching your muscles and then opening the door to the backseat.
You make yourself comfortable next to him, immediately bobbing your head in unison with his and the song’s rhythm before you realise how close you two are. In hindsight, you don’t understand why you came to sit here at all – he would’ve come back to the driver’s seat anyway.
The whole encounter doesn’t make much sense, but you guess it’s too late to overthink now – so you begin a conversation about your favourite songs on the album instead, and you act as if you don’t realise that he’s side-eyeing you. Squinting in amusement.
And before you can blink twice, he’s shifted closer with a hand on your thigh, giggling. You let him obliviously, licking your lips, and when both of you go quiet and let silence between you settle, you swallow thickly – there’s a clump in your throat and it’s not dissolving.
Out of nowhere, he looks down at your grey clothing, the series of happenings lacking logic once more as he comments, “Nice shorts.”
You steady your breathing with anticipation jabbing your overworking mind, telling yourself that it’s okay, that there’s no need to be nervous. And so, you wet your lips, telling him, “Glad you like them.”
“I do like quite a few things about you…”
“Oh? What’s that?”
Jungkook hums in thought, and for a moment, you’re certain he just said it to charm you. After all, he doesn’t know you all that well. He knows you’re quiet in uni. Knows you share classes with him. He knows you stuff your mouth with desserts any chance you get, because he caught you a few times and possib–
“The colour of your hair,” he finally lists, and you listen attentively, “your skin. I do like your pretty little mind, too. Got a lot in there, gotta admit.”
“The genius himself is praising a peasant like me?”
He chuckles, obviously taken aback by your choice of words. But then he catches himself, his tongue darting out to the corner of his lips before he confesses, “The genius himself has never seen a peasant this sexy, though.”
Did he really…
And is his–
Yes – his hand is definitely shifting up, your skin shivering; and he’s moving closer, his lips parted – and suddenly, the colour of your shorts has changed and your hair is in a ponytail when you were sure you were wearing it down before, and…
You awake with a smack of your lips, blinking as you adjust to the darkness. Damn vivid dreaming. Damn Jungkook humming Taylor Swift songs in classes often enough for you to remember his taste in music.
You’re sure he would’ve taken you right there, but not before pushing you to oversensitivity and tears, nibbling at your shoulders while you squirmed in his grip.
No. That must be your interpreting imagination talking.
It was a dream? A long ass, detailed, elaborated one, too? His lame humour was your own?
How pathetic. When you said you needed to get laid, you really did mean it.
But instead of letting his undoubtedly monstrous, skilled cock fuck you to insanity, even if just in a dream, you find yourself between the dull walls of your room, wrapped in a cold blanket of pitch darkness.
Your blinds are shut and no beam of the streetlamps comes seeping in as you clutch your phone tight with only its light illuminating your face… and the ache between your legs is palpable. Like dream-Jungkook metaphorically blue-balled you and left you to starve.
What if you called Jimin again? It was nice with him, wasn’t it? But no – he has a girlfriend now. And the college jock Baekhyun? Would he be up to go on another date after you ditched him last time? Probably not.
Okay, and what if…
Is there really no other option left?
You reckon not.
You open your phone again and slide to the app you dreaded, one that Namjoon has been suggesting for months on end now. You won’t let the truth sidle to him – the one about you having downloaded the app ages ago, but dipping right after configuring your profile and finding no one remarkable or interesting on there.
You think their bios are crucial in what your choice settles on, but the lack of personality and terrifyingly sassy profile pictures left you shuddering and grimacing. You decided this wasn’t for you.
Now, no offence to anyone indulging in the pleasures of dating apps, but especially after tinder swindlers and alarming news, you weren’t always all that fond of the opportunities such a phenomenon brings.
But now, you do cave in, revisiting your account in a haste as you half sit up, pulling up the pillow and leaning against the creaking headboard.
For a while, you keep swiping – the most obscure descriptions catch your eye, much as expected. Just for a second, you feel your pussy clench in ache enough to swipe right to absolute idiots.
Let's match and maybe I'll send you a nude on Snapchat?
got money n time so why don't we share some of it?
"Oh my fucking god," you exclaim in exasperation.
You're speechless. Other than those attempting to catch fish with flirts they most likely found on the internet, there are people who have stated nothing but their height on their profiles. Or a phrase in a different language, or, wow, "Hey there. I am using WhatsApp" on a dating app?
And then… the biggest miracle in the history of miracles happens. Crop circles and sightings of UFOs are nothing compared to it.
Because it's him. 
A mirror selfie stares back at you, his hand half buried in his pocket – but you can still see the veins popping. His hair is a mess, but he’s still so undeniably attractive; and to your misery, even his bio is harmless and basic, no nauseating cockiness.
He’s not only chasing and haunting your dreams, but appearing on this app, too. You don't consider the fact that it gives you optimal matches in your near proximity – no, for you, this is a sign of doom, of certain and ulterior conspiracy.
You take a deep breath and curl your fingers into a tight fist, and with closed eyes and a clenched jaw, you do something utterly reckless and stupid. You might regret it later… or maybe it won't affect your life at all.
But when you swipe right, you bite your tongue, and when you release your breath and open your eyes again, you're ready to watch a new name and face pop up when suddenly…
It's a match!
You clap your hand over your mouth, the sheer volume of your voice so unexpected that you almost feel your bed rattle. A myriad of jumbled thoughts jostle for attention, and your eyes flick from one spot of your phone to the other.
Letting the device fall, you cross your legs, cracking your fingers as you try to make sense of what the hell just happened. But once the truth finally creeps in, you pull your phone closer again, holding it with your fingertips as though you just fished it out of your toilet.
You open the chat of the dating app and stare at it for a full minute, your thumbs drawing circles in the air as you bite into your lip. You’re not certain what to do with the situation – not sure what you’re doing at all; not quite able to foresee how he’ll react.
But then you collect air in your cheeks and let it out in a puff, opting for courage before typing a simple, tiny “hi?”. And then, you lock the device immediately as if Jungkook could catch you staring if you touched it any longer.
You wait ten minutes. Twenty. And when nothing comes after thirty two petrifying minutes, you place your phone on your bedside table, tugging the thinnest blanket you own over your head as if the summer isn’t in full bloom outside.
And at some point tonight, you doze off eventually.
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It’s not until the alarm clock blares and shakes you awake that memories of last night come crashing back. You think you might’ve had two damned vivid dreams, surely hoping that you didn’t truly experience the quiet, brief horror movie with you as its main cast.
But when you unlock your phone, your hope evaporates and consorts with your soul somewhere in hell, and your body falls limp against the headboard when you see… a response.
You feel the weight of his sarcasm crushing you already when you click on the chat. With a singular glance, you understand that Jungkook likes to shorten his words. Might use emojis sparsely? Definitely has the first letter of his sentences capitalised, though.
Jungkook: Hi…? R u not sure about ur greeting or
You’re not sure about anything – if you only knew, prodigy Jeon.
You: good morning.
His response comes almost immediately; as if he was waiting for you, eyes fixated on the chat, bored enough to converse with you rather than doing… whatever a Jeon Jungkook usually does.
Jungkook: Morning. U were awake late, huh?
You: couldn’t sleep. had a nightmare.
And it consisted of nothing less but his presence. His moles and soft, fluffy hair are still engraved in your mind that you somehow managed to memorise in the years you’ve known him. You wonder if he ever noticed you staring at the dark dot under his lip. Or his nose. Or at the veins of his arms… the thighs, oh god, the thighs–
The nightmare drenched your panties and shook your body until your guts were where your heart belongs.
Jungkook: Ohhhh wanna talk about it?
You gulp.
You: I’d rather not
The situation is almost comical. If you weren’t shaking in your non-existent boots, you might have laughed. But instead, you type away, cannot believe that you’re truly here, about to flirt with Jungkook like it’s a casual Thursday morning. But how could you not… he’s clearly waiting for you to bite, because…
Jungkook: Sure. So… weekend. What are u doing 2day?
He really does abbreviate the simplest words.
You: nothing. studying. you?
Jungkook: Not much either. Talking to u hopefully?
Sly, Jeon… very sly.
You: don’t you have stuff to do?
Jungkook: Yeah but… matching with a pretty girl is more fun
Is that a conversation he has every other day? Is this his tactic, his method to sing people to his form like a siren just to swallow them whole afterwards? Most importantly – if all of this is a possibility, why does your face still warm like an oven at his words?
Confidence – it’s easier through text. So you give it a shot; even if it boosts his ego – it does the same to you.
You: Jeon Jungkook thinks I’m pretty?
Jungkook: Jeon Jungkook thinks a lot of things about you
Did he not say something similar in your dream? There must be courses on witchcraft you could attend if you wanted to…
You hate him – but not really.
You: what does he think?
Jungkook: Well… he thinks you should text him in your DMS, bcos u have his number
Jungkook: Nd he thinks you should go out with him nd grab some lunch this noon
Just when the opportunity slithers close enough for you to graze it, something in you deflates. Like a red siren blaring warningly, reminding you that, despite your undeniable attraction to him, you don’t necessarily know if you want to involve yourself with him.
You matched with him. You texted him. You’re flirting – but what’s this uneasy feeling still? Perhaps you just realised that if you give in now, you’ll have to deal with his stolen glances and potential rumours until you graduate.
But somewhere inside, you do wish to be more to him than just a possible hook-up.
You: I… don’t think so
Jungkook: Woah. My heart just broke like never before
You contemplate what to answer, digging deep into your thoughts to find a part that’s not overthinking and/or flooded with a hundred different personas of you. They all want something else – can’t you dip your toes in calm, still water instead of this hurricane twirling in your brain?
When you don’t answer, Jungkook double texts; two simple words but somehow still dripping in a timid tone.
Jungkook: Why not?
You: you… I don’t think you matched with me to get LUNCH
Jungkook: Ah. Why did you swipe right on me then?
Even if his intentions were beyond fucking, genuinely attempting to take you out on a harmless, joyful date, you don’t think yours were – initially at least. And the way you know him – or as much as you do know him – you’re sure he’d jump onto this train, if you wanted to.
But something’s still holding you back… something that didn’t last night. So you answer–
You: guess I was curious to see what might happen
You: but you’re known for sleeping around. and I don’t wanna be a dick-wetter when you’ve so many people to do so… even tho you do seem nice
Jungkook: Cute. Also weird. Could’ve sworn you like me
Your heart thumps a little faster against your ribcage, and despite every word you’ve already exchanged, his newest confession turns you upside down. You’re not sure what your emotions consist of – and you wonder whether it’d be worse to have him think you like him or to actually like him.
Raising your eyebrows at the device, you admire his confidence, and despite the fright his message brought, it makes you smile a bit. It’s a rare trait – refreshing to see.
You: how would you know?
Jungkook: U swiped right, woman. Can u rlly say that u’ve never thought about me naked before?
You chuckle, an airy, goofy laugh filling the room as you pull your legs closer and tilt your head. He’s brave – you want to be, too.
You: and if I did?
Nothing comes back.
You wait for a moment. Perhaps he’s gotten up to fetch himself a drink or take a shower… it might be anything.
But then, this anything turns out to be something incredibly more intense – because suddenly, your phone is vibrating, and you almost screech, blinking at it as you ponder what to do.
You let it ring for a while, nervous to pick up – and when you think the last rings are chiming, you clear your throat and exhale, emptying your head of the thick mist before you press the green button.
You don’t get to say anything at all, because he’s already chuckling, his voice sweet and mellow before he questions, “You sure you don’t wanna grab… lunch?”
The pause sends your mind into another overthinking episode, but you brush your worries aside, suggesting instead, “Why don’t we talk about pharmacy instead? Happy drugs and blissful painkillers.”
Your mouth falls open half in amusement, half in surprise, the shit eating grin growing wider when you argue defiantly, “I’m not a coward!”
“Prove it then.”
Oh… his voice fell lower; you imagine a hooded gaze, a smirk scurrying over his lips – it’s an image too dangerous for your brain. If he doesn’t stop putting it there, you might drive over, and then no one will be responsible for your misdeeds but you.
The higher deities are toying with your patience.
“I don’t need to,” you tell him, shrugging one shoulder, though he can’t see anyway. “Nice trick, though.”
“Okay, but hear me out,” he immediately says, the sounds of him shifting crackling through the speaker. Jungkook is losing his chill and you’re loving it, “What if I swiped right, because you’ve been catching my eye since we first met?”
You want to call bullshit – his voice sounds genuine and devoid of mockery and games, but you still squint your eyes, asking, “Really?”
“Yeah, you’re just. Too intimidating to ask out.”
“I’m… intimidating?”
You’re scared of bugs. You dislike heights. You once screamed when Namjoon walked out of his room casually, his cheek covered in strawberry jam, because he’s too clumsy to eat properly, cleanly. He needed multiple tries and exclamations of defence to convince you that it wasn’t blood.
You can’t possibly seem intimidating to him.
“This is absolutely weird,” you admit, and when your eyes dry, you realise that you must not have blinked in minutes. The dust floating around you must be getting worried.
“I like weird.”
“You… what do you want, Jeon?”
“I…” Jungkook begins, but then silences, humming and clicking his tongue. And then, he speaks up again, suddenly shy and uncertain as he says, “If I told you what I want, you might cut the call.”
“Now I wanna know more, though.”
He sighs, and you think you can hear an odd sound accompanying his occurring hums, as if he’s tapping against a wooden object. His voice is gravelly and quieter when he speaks again, and you press your phone further against your ear.
“Alright. Sure. Nothing to lose, I guess.”
He lets you wait again. He knows how to build tension – knows how to turn you into an impatient puddle of molten composure.
“I can be sweet or,” he says, and you lean forward, “or talk you to filth. What do you want?”
To filth?
You shiver.
Albeit intrigued, you wonder – if he tried to be sweet, would he be telling you the truth? Or just try to swoon you? You don’t want to be a pawn in his game – don’t want this crush or whatever to advance. He’s a charismatic, compulsive charmer, right? What if he wraps you around his tattooed finger just for you to wonder if he meant any of it?
So you say politely, “Second option, please.”
He breathes out. He sounds a little disappointed.
“Alright. Remember when you wore that floral dress last summer and our professor told you to adhere to the dress code we don’t even have?”
“Yup. How could I forget?”
“Well. I was this close,” you imagine him bringing his forefinger and thumb close, turning his big doe eyes into slits, “to telling her off. Her Victorian morals don’t have a place in this century. Wanted to tell her that she can’t let out her lack of confidence on you. Because,” he pauses; then says, “you can do whatever the heck you wanna do.”
This isn’t filth.
Rather, elaborated, detailed sweetness – you didn’t expect this level of observation and depth, didn’t know a simple dress and brief conversation last summer affected him enough to remember his thoughts for this long. You’re glad he can’t see, but you’re pouting, and you’re sure your eyes are glittering, the stars in your pupils flickering.
And as sweet as he can be, his sexiness never falters. Because.
“You looked so fucking hot.”
He says it hushed – almost whispers it, and you feel your sanity dematerialise and your insides burn. The little spark evolves and turns your guts and lungs to ember, and your cheeks flame up like you’ve been stuck head-first into a blazing sauna.
“...Go on,” you plead, and you nearly hear the smile in his words when he obliges.
“Been wanting to… to touch you since that day. Slide my hands across your body and pull you closer by…” He laughs, smacking his lips, hesitating before he mumbles as if he’s saying something blasphemous. “By your tits.”
Hell. What the hell.
“And goddamn, your ass, I… want it close enough to me that our bodies meld, and okay, yeah, that– that sounded weird, but–” You hear him gulp, and you swallow at the same time. “I imagined ripping that dress off of you like, not even kidding, a few dozen times? And… are you still there?”
“Too much?”
“Nah. It’s fine.”
“Is all that weird?”
“Maybe a little,” you breathe, but you must admit that you have been in the same position with him before. Imagined how it’d be if you were one of the girls he fucks. “But… guess we’re both weird.”
“Shit, you can’t say that…” Silence descends for a moment when he understands the meaning behind your words, and he clears his throat before he continues, “And right now… shit, just the thought of you sitting on your bed or couch, possibly in shorts or a nightgown drives me fucki–”
You feel your heart lurch into your throat and then fall, scrambling your insides before you confess, “I’m… in my panties. Just a shirt… and panties.”
“Oh fuck.” He waits. “Okay. Can I–”
But you never get to hear what he wants to ask, because from behind your closed door, Namjoon knocks suddenly and rapidly, startling you on the spot. You catch your phone mid-fall, breathing heavily, shaking your head when your roommate yells, “It’s your turn to make breakfast, byotch!”
You shake your head, hurrying to whisper your goodbyes to Jungkook who you briefly catch complaining, “Seriously?” – but you tell him you’re sorry, that you’ll see him tomorrow morning, because you’re class-free today.
Namjoon, however, does need to rush to uni, and you promised to make him something today before he left for his linguistics course at noon.
You spend the day munching on leftover breakfast, studying as much as your mushy thinking organ allows. But your thoughts drift back to the monstrum repeatedly that doesn’t call you back or text you again for the remainder of the day and night.
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When you enter the lab the next day, Jungkook is already there, staring at your form entering through his glasses as he manspreads on his seat. You try not to look down, but avert your gaze instead, sitting down in a far corner of the room despite the fact that you’ve sat next to him more often than you can count.
From your peripheral sight, you catch that he’s still staring at you, but you try to focus on your unkempt and idle professor as you slip your arms into your lab coat. Seems like your teacher’s in a bad mood, because he wipes his tired eyes, waving you off nonchalantly before he mutters, “Produce an ointment. Any kind you want. You can work alone or as a duo.”
You learned to make ointments years ago. But okay – at least an easy task that doesn’t require the brainpower you don’t have today.
You decide to work alone – but as it seems, Jungkook has different plans.
From afar, you overhear him decline a girl or two and a boy who offer to get into a group with him; but he utters some convincing excuses and walks over to you instead. You feel him step closer, and your chest tightens.
Your body isn’t a blooming forest – the butterflies need to get the hell out of there.
“How are you?” he asks once you acknowledge him with a nod, putting on his lab coat and gloves before he grabs some ingredients from your hand, dividing the work.
“Good. How are you?”
You looked so fucking hot.
His words repeat in your mind like a broken record – by now, you’ve memorised the tone he whispered them in, the rise and fall of his voice, the casual confidence he put into it.
Shit. You should’ve worn that dress today.
“I’m okay,” he answers, dabbing at his forehead that shines in the slightest sheen of sweat that the summer causes, “was wondering what ointment you’re making.”
You mumble something so quietly that he doesn’t grasp it, and he leans in with furrowed eyebrows, asking again. Raising your voice, you control the volume of your sentence, telling him, “Burns. Against burns.”
His lips form an O before he licks them, tsk-ing and smirking as he states dramatically, “Apply it to my heart then.”
“Was wondering where you went yesterday.”
Oh. You didn’t think he’d care this much – makes you want to care even more.
He interrupts you, waving calmly and reassuringly as he says, “I can totally let it go if you want me to, though. It’s cool, I promise!”
“No, I–” Okay. Stop stuttering. One more stutter and you’d slap yourself in front of him. “I made breakfast for my roommate.”
Jungkook nods as though he knew, his conversing tone jovial and cheerful as he asks, “Your roommate? Namjoon, was it?”
Jungkook measures the powder used for the ointment, gazing at it carefully and focused. A crease carved between his eyebrows, he looks incredibly sexy, staring over the edge of his glasses, the tip of his tongue peeking out. The coat hugs his body perfectly, and his muscles flex each time he angles his arms.
It’s almost too much.
And then, he leans back, exhaling before he notes, “Damn. If you were my girlfriend, I’d make you breakfast every day.”
“I’m not his girlfriend,” you defend immediately – why, you can’t quite say, “but you knew that.”
“No harm in making sure…”
When his skin brushes yours, you think he’s doing it on purpose. You draw a sharp breath, so sure that he’s decoded your tense and freezing stance – but if he did, he doesn’t say anything. Acts like he’s concentrating on the task on hand while his shoulder keeps bumping against yours lightly.
And soon, he’s looking at you, his hand on the white table, fingers drumming against the handle of the water tap, and starts, “Hey, do you…” He nibbles his lower lip, dimples appearing on his cheeks as deep as your embarrassing nervousness. But he’s being shy. He’s being shy? Again? “Are you doing anything today? After class?”
“Oh,” you voice, not quite expecting his question, though a part of you hoped he’d ask something like this, “why?”
“There’s a place I wanted to show you. A castle kinda thing, and there are super many cherry blossom trees? I thought you might like it there, ‘cause,” he stops for a fleeting second, his tongue dashing along his lower lip, “I remember you once told me it’s your favourite flower.”
You’re baffled beyond imagination – not even your former boyfriends ever remembered, always bringing you a bouquet on Valentine’s day and your birthday, because they ”didn’t really know which one you like most.”
Is Jungkook this observant or is he just the genius you already see him as?
“You still remember that?” you ask, your eyes wide, your lip jutting out.
“Of course. Yeah. They’re my favourite, too.”
I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.
Neruda’s quote has never rung this true – whatever emotions the pink petals inspire in you, they border on cheesy, sappy romance. If Jungkook is anyhow on the same wavelength as you, you might liquefy.
God, you want to say yes. If only to find a pretty tree and make out with him under it. No, scratch that. Just to be in his presence and see what he’s like when he’s not chasing girls. Or complimenting your ass.
“I’d love to, but… I can’t,” you tell him, and his face falls a little, sweet and tender; not the kind of fall that indicates a decreasing ego, but the type that resembles genuine chagrin. “I have to attend this study group with Yeosoo, and… it’s the last session before one of the exams, so…”
“Ah, it’s cool. Don’t sweat it. I just thought I might try.”
“All good, cutie,” he says with a wink, returning to your task while your fingers fiddle with the rest of the ingredients, brushing the bottle of oil. “I’ll just keep admiring you from afar in the meantime.”
Within a moment, his eyes blow wide, his features flinching, and he grabs your hand tight when you take one wrong step. He pulls you closer until your palm is gripping his firm bicep – that you’re sure he flexes when you touch it – and almost falling into him.
You realise too late that he’s saved you from dripping oils that you somehow managed to spill, but his breath against your scalp and his chest against yours create a ferocious and frantic chaos behind your ribs.
In the silence of the moment, you see your classmates watching you, but Jungkook snatches all your remaining attention, his nimble fingers sliding along your waist and settling there to straighten your posture.
With your breath stuck in your throat and blue fire burning behind your cheeks, you apologise bashfully, breathing out the muddled up ball of air. You sit back again, frantically starting to clean up the mess, and the teacher strolls to you lazily just in time. He comes to a halt at the other side of your table; and when he leans in to inspect your progress, you wince.
Your professor doesn’t notice, but you’re perishing inside – the hand on your thigh belonging to a certain someone who’s started explaining how your ointment is doing shakes the last crumbs of sleep away.
He’s the downfall of you. You’ll be writing your will tonight.
A muffled question registers in your brain, and you don’t decipher it as a worried, “Are you okay?” from your professor until Jungkook nudges your arm and tells you the man is speaking to you.
Jungkook draws an endless circle on your skin; then proceeds to touch your knee – and the blood in your face is downright smouldering. You side-eye him for a moment, acting oblivious; attempting your best to answer your teacher’s question appropriately.
But the impish touch of your classmate’s treacherous fingers, sneaking up your leg and to the fabric of your shorts leaves you stuttering over simple words. He’s evidently trying to get back to you for vanishing so abruptly yesterday – who knew Jungkook’s way of punishing someone was this blatant?
You don’t push his hand away, because you don’t want it gone – in fact, you want this lesson to end and pull him into a spare, empty storage room. Want him to fuck you raw until the bottled ingredients clatter to the ground.
But then, he retracts his hand when your professor nods and walks on, and when you breathe a vexed, “Asshole”, he pats your shoulder playfully, his idiotic, silly smirk returning as he says, “Pity that you’re busy this afternoon.”
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He put an extra cautious emphasis on afternoon, stressing the word like he was using it for the first time.
When the doorbell rings near 10 pm, you let your novel fall, crawling off the sofa that you pulled out to a bed and rushing to the wooden entrance. You didn’t expect Namjoon to return home this fast – something must have happened on his little trip.
You ready yourself to mock the life out of him, eager to meet his wasted eyes and listen to his drunk rambling about the night he just experienced. But when you unlock the door and rip it open with your lips curled upwards, you find leaning against the frame… someone entirely else.
Instinctively, your hand descends to the hem of your shirt, covering at least a mere inch of your bare thighs as you stare into Jungkook’s amused face. He cocks an eyebrow at you, and your heart leaps; you act as if you don’t notice that he’s checking you out from head to toe.
You know he lives nearby – but you’re still surprised that he remembered where you live, too.
“What are you doing here?” you question, lowering your voice, focusing intently on keeping your voice steady. For now, you might want to stay very still – you know you’ll stammer if you don’t.
“I wanted to come by and say hi.”
“Are you… are you drunk?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, leaning in closer as he regards you with a firm gaze and asks, “Do I look drunk to you?”
He makes sure to speak close to your face, and when you take in the scent of his minty breath, devoid of any hint of inebriation, you let your jaw fall shut. You were close to the climax of your book – in fact, you had planned to finish it to start the movie adaptation of it this Friday night.
You were entirely prepared for it: your hair arranged in a messy, cosy bun, your favourite long shirt draped over your body – or at least your torso – with the taste of your favourite ice cream flavour still lingering on your tongue.
You didn’t expect an interruption in the form of… him. But the way he stands there, confident but quiet, smiling at you in a way that should be illegalised and written into every book of law…
What was your novel about again?
“May I come in?” Jungkook asks, peering past you, and you blink once – twice.
Manners have always been your strongest trait, but it seems that Jungkook has turned your brain upside down and replaced coherent thoughts with ones of a clapping monkey toy. You gulp, and then step aside, apologising under your breath.
“No need to be sorry,” he says as he looks around, hands in the pockets of his joggers – oh god, he’s wearing joggers – and his voice low.
There’s a kind of groan in his words, one that usually accompanies his conversational tone; he must not realise what effect it has on people. Or maybe he does. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
“Why’re you really here?” you ask again, attempting to sound as polite as possible and not as though you’re scheming to throw him out again. Anytime soon.
“I was thinking of you.”
How is this so easy for him?
He’s leaning down to inspect a vase of yours, for crying out loud – how can he say such things so casually and expect from you to remain relaxed and collected with a steady heartbeat and a mind that doesn’t go into a frenzy and–
“Really?” you question, feigning calmness, hiding that the lower part of your body has entirely different plans.
You step further into the room and watch him scour his pockets as if they’re miles deep, and when he plummets onto your couch/make-shift bed, he’s holding a small plastic canister in his palm. He stretches his arm towards you and you take the object with questions etched between your eyebrows.
Turning the lid, you ask, “What’s that?”
“Open it.” And when you do and understand, recognising the smell and quality, up to par, he smiles, nodding as if to confirm your thoughts and says, “Ointment against burns. In case there’s ever a cooking accident or something!”
Flashing a smile back, you close the canister again, wrapping both your palms around it before you nod and say, “Thank you.”
“No worries.” Jungkook shoots a look at the discarded book, and then back to you, taking in the quietude of the apartment before he wonders, “Where’s Namjoon?”
“Joon’s out with Hobi and some other friends. They went bowling or something.”
“And you didn’t go with?”
You shrug, taking a seat on the other side of the couch, almost as if you’re dodging his emanating aura by putting a distance between you. God knows what you might do if Jeon Jungkook got too close. And after this morning’s events, you’re more nervous than ever before.
“Nah,” you respond, drawing patterns on your couch before flattening a hand over its material, “I’m bad at bowling.”
“That just means you haven’t been often enough.”
“No. Believe me, even Namjoon can confirm that I’m bad at it.”
“I’ll take you there sometime,” he promises, shifting until his body hits the back of the sofa, legs crossed over each other, “I refuse to believe you’re bad with balls.” Your lips part. You silence, looking at him in disbelief – and then, he laughs and adds, “That was a bad one.”
Both your laughter erupts in unison, and his eyes crinkle again when he chuckles, and his tattooed hands are adorned by veins, and his sounds are so soft and sickening and… this is becoming a problem.
As the last bits of your giggles subside, you scratch your jaw, mumbling, “When it comes to that, Namjoon won’t ever make fun of me.”
“That wasn’t nothing.”
Your cheeks warm when you remember your early days as Namjoon’s roommate, and when a toe-curling memory returns in bits and pieces, a faded grey and dull, you grimace. Licking your lips, you look at Jungkook, attempting to sound casual when you admit, “Just. Well, freshman year, uh. Let’s just say Joon knows I’m… good with balls.”
You gulp the moment you utter the last syllable, and something resembling bafflement flashes across his features. He raises his eyebrows in disbelief, one corner of his lips twitching before his voice, dropping deeper, confesses, “I’d love to be him.”
His eyes are flaming, you think – a hint of possessiveness is dripping from them, and you feel your thoughts somersault as you dare to ask, “Why? You get something all the time.”
“If I was so pumped about just something, I wouldn’t be here.”
You wait.
He makes you restless. Your inner little self is chewing off its nails in your brain, eagerly awaiting his next steps, wondering what’s going through his head. As each second passes, his gaze cracks your mind a little more, and whenever he speaks, you feel pieces of yourself split in half.
You think perhaps he can see the hot air, steaming and cloudy, evaporate right over your head.
In reality, however, his thoughts are at an entirely different place.
Because his gaze is scanning your taut but simultaneously somehow confident demeanour. Brittle in some sense that you sit so far away, uncertain what to do with him or yourself. But your arms are folded beneath your breasts, pushing your tits up as if on purpose, and… he thinks he recognises that you’re not wearing a bra.
Don’t stare like that, he tells himself, but…
Bare legs built to seduce him… ending in the alluring curve of your ass. Your tell-tale shifting on the couch – the one he has experienced so many times with other girls before, a sign for silent yearning. And you’re avoiding his eyes, hands clasped between your thighs, as if to let your body whisper to him what you want him to do without saying a word.
Jungkook’s joggers and heart tighten when he speaks again – and your own heart revolts.
“Can you come closer?”
Your body tenses and your limbs become weightless – but somehow, you still manage to oblige, albeit several seconds later. You want to hum and ask what he wants; there must be some semblance of your irritation and sass left.
Jungkook pushes himself off the back of the couch as you draw closer, leaning into you as soon as you plant yourself next to him. You’re so close that his thigh could be touching yours if he killed the distance a little more.
But instead, he opts for something far more fatal: he lifts his hand, looking at you with a smile, and wipes a stray hair strand off your face. His touch is warm on your skin, his fingers soft and pleasant.
You realise he’s staring at the goosebumps on your neck and legs when his smile widens, and he doesn’t give you a moment to settle nor to think when he asks, “Would you wanna go look at cherry blossoms sometime?” His thumb strokes your jaw, and your heart jumps when he adds, “With me.”
You shut your open mouth, nibbling at your lower lip as his eyes follow your action before they dart back to your stare; and you question back, “You really want that?”
“I really want that.” He’s whispering, his pupils flitting to and fro, and you think that even his brain malfunctions for a moment when he finds nothing better to state than, “I think they’re pretty.”
And he thinks they’d look better with you underneath them. Perhaps you’d also realise that he’s not all that bad. Speaking of which.
“I promise I don’t ask this every girl,” he tells you, easing the dozen questions marked between your eyebrows and in your orbs, “I hardly ever go on dates at all, so…” His fingers wander to your chin, then trail along your jaw again, settling under your ear. “So I’d love it if you said yes.”
You’ll pass out. Right here, right now, on the spot, and you hope he catches your form, hope that he knows he’s the cause of your system error.
Is he really–
Damn it, you swore to yourself, you wouldn’t give in. Not to him. But it’s not your fault that he knows his way around words this well, that he can wrap you around his finger like it’s as easy to him as breathing.
Good for him. Because your lungs have apparently forgotten how to operate.
Dizzy and delirious, you manage to speak up, even if your answer contains nothing more but a measly, meek, “Okay.”
“Yeah…” He moves close enough for your breath to hitch, his own grazing your face before he freezes the blood in your veins. “May I – can I kiss you?” Searching your eyes for defiance without meeting any, he states, “Really kinda wanna kiss you.”
Deep inhales. Deeper exhales. No butterflies flutter in your stomach – a whole jungle roars.
And then, with his hand on your face, he leans in, planting his lower lip between your parted ones. His thumb brushes against the apple of your cheek, and he angles his head slightly before his mouth starts to move.
His hand travels down to the small of your back, pulling you closer, and his lips part yours further when his tongue darts out to glide along the seam of your mouth. You hiss, and he swallows the sound immediately, endlessly more eager when your tongue meets his halfway.
A soft moan collides with your own, and before you know it, he’s shifted you half onto his lap. You move keenly, resting your ass on his thigh, and draping an arm around his neck to pull him closer.
Your breathing accelerates when he places his hand on your left inner thigh, prying your legs open, never leaving the heat of your lips. But when you back away, whimpering just a little, you catch his hooded stare for merely a moment before he’s turning you in his grip.
“Fuck, that was…” he whispers, pressing your back against his chest as your legs fall apart and next to each of his reflexively, “the best kiss I ever had.”
His palm touches your knee and then moves up to the hem of your shorts again, his fingers tugging at the knotted strings as you joke, “You’re lying.”
“Believe me… I don’t lie about such things,” he assures, still pulling at the strings, “so hot, and we’ve barely done anything yet…”
He opens the knot and roams your stomach, his mouth caressing your neck as he calls your name and mutters, “May I?” Digits sneak underneath your shorts and touch your pelvis, and an arm wraps around your torso as he adds, “Can I touch you, pretty?”
“I… I’d be mad if you didn’t.”
Jungkook’s chuckle reverberates in your head before his face nuzzles the crook of your neck. Once you grant him permission with another moan, his hands hurry to pull down your shorts and panties in the gentlest way – and when you find yourself bare on his lap, you shut your eyes tightly.
From his point of view, he can’t even admire your pussy properly – but having you spread in his grip, your chest heaving, drives him insane within a moment.
He draws lines on your tummy and your waist, drawing closer to where your cunt aches for him, and when two pads of his fingers press against your clit, you dig your nails into the material of the couch.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he coos, starting to move his fingers in circling motions.
His free hand grabs your jaw and moves your head to the side, allowing him to explore more of your neck and your shoulder. You’re not certain what it is about the movements of his tongue, but his touch lights up one spot after the other. You might be glowing at the end of the night; a burning torch in the dark once the sun has set.
His cock, filling with blood and eagerness, presses against your ass when you squirm in his hold, and he flattens his fingers over your clit before he rubs them along your pussy. He spreads your folds apart, teasing your entrance with the tip of his fingers as he says, “Talk to me.”
But you don’t; you keep wiggling, lifting your shirt, baring your tits – not covered by a bra as deduced. And as he stares, his eyes nearly fall out of their sockets, and the moment you pinch your nipple between your fingers, he plunges his between your aching walls.
“Oh, fuck,” Jungkook mumbles, furrowing his eyebrows when you throw back your head and arch your back. You look divine like this, and he can barely even see your face. “Talk to me, I said.”
“Not… enough.”
“What isn’t?”
He digs his digits in up to their knuckles, impressed by your dripping arousal, and brings his other hand to where he massaged your clit earlier.
“Need your dick… please.”
“Shit, you’re begging already, I–” He shakes his head, kisses a trail up your face, halts at your temple. “All in due time, okay? Lemme just…”
His fingers work skilled and agonisingly around your heat, alternating between slow and fast – and right when the coil in your stomach threatens to dissolve, his hands retract. You let out a breath you were – apparently – holding, and your palms shoot down to your pussy to keep the lack of touch minimal.
“I was gonna–” you exclaim, whining, trying to complete the job he didn’t to not let your approaching high disperse.
But then he grabs your wrist and pulls your arm aside, leaving your pussy begging and screaming as he says, “I know. Not yet.”
With your orgasm fading, you curse under your breath, wrestling out of his grip before he lets you go voluntarily. He brings his inked fingers to your mouth, breaking through the seam of your lips before you register his silent command and start sucking.
You twirl your tongue, collecting saliva, drenching his digits as he praises, “Jesus… you really know how to use this big mouth of yours, huh?”
A combination of hums and moans leaves your throat, sucking for a moment longer before he pulls out again, throwing a cocky “thank you” your way before he’s spreading your spit between your nether lips again.
He remains there for just a moment this time, and then stops, telling you, “You’ve no idea how bad I wanna taste you.”
As if he wasn’t fingerfucking you stupid, your thoughts derail and a power outage shuts your brain. The image of Jungkook eating you out… holding you down…
Where are you? What time is it? What’s your name?
“Got a condom for me, baby?”
Your inner self keysmashes, and your mind goes bbbrrrzzz for a moment before you gather your thoughts, embarrassed and dizzy, and tell him, “My room,” you point at your door behind the couch, “bedside table… second drawer…”
Jungkook plants a tender kiss at the corner of your lips, and then pushes you onto the couch gently. He stands with a giant, fat bulge stretching his joggers, and you ogle at it for a second, half naked, before he brushes a hand through his hair and says, “Take off your clothes. I want you fully naked and on your knees once I’m back.”
Amidst the hazy atmosphere, you somehow find the courage to roll your eyes, and he laughs sweetly, indulging in your cuteness before he walks away. You hurry to drag the shirt over your head, shifting to bend over the arm of the couch as you wait; and before you can do anything more, he’s back, impatient and hurried.
He throws the package next to you, ridding his body of his shirt and his joggers smoothly. You crane your neck to look at him, and lower your torso, lifting your ass until you hear him hiss and remark, “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Pressing your ass into my face, brat.”
“I’m doing no such thing. Just did what you told m–”
A harmless but firm slap rings in your ears, eliciting a gasp out of you as his knees hit the couch. He crawls closer before he pulls his underwear down; and by all deities above, if you’d known what was coming at you, you would’ve started all of this so much sooner.
Because you can’t stop staring. Standing erect and rock hard, his leaking cock inches closer, its sheer length and thickness so overwhelming that you almost turn around and ready yourself to drool around it.
But Jungkook grabs a handful of your ass again, slamming a palm against your flesh before he warns, “Behave, will you? You wanna be able to walk tomorrow, don’t you?”
“I…” you begin, your eyes rolling back when he spits into his hand again and palms your cunt. He shoves his fingers into you once more, curling them for a moment before he pulls out and you continue, “I don’t wanna be able to walk tomorrow.”
“Want you to… fuck my brains out,” you admit, pressing your cheek against the sofa arm before you add politely, “please.”
“I… I won’t be able to hold back, if you keep saying that.” A sound of foil ripping echoes through the room; for a moment, it’s silent, but then, he moves closer, the head of his cock prodding your entrance. “I might just wreck your shit.”
You move your ass towards him some more, provoking, “Do to me whatever you wanna, Kook.”
Damn it.
His nickname falling out of your mouth is so ridiculously cute; but the rest of your sentence is coated with coarse vulgarity. 
“Fuck, that filthy mouth of yours… it’s gonna kill me,” Jungkook whispers, holding your hips in place when your movements don’t stop, “stay still for me, baby.”
But you don’t need to stop your hips from provoking him further, because when the tip of his cock pushes in, your body becomes light as a feather, trembling, voiding, as though he punctured the tyre that your torso is. The more he buries of himself, the more you think there can’t be more to fill you up.
Jungkook, however, keeps going, and when he finally stops, he dares to say, “Gonna take it easy, okay?”
And he does – begins with a soft groan that vibrates through the sound waves of the air, his hands still on your waist as he moves in and out slowly. Breathing heavier, you clutch the couch, broken moans falling off your tongue as he fucks you with half his cock still out.
“How’s it feel?” he asks, snapping you out of your daze.
Trapped in a cubicle of carnal lust and yearning, you swallow, muttering, “Good… you can,” you press your lips together when he plunges in again, mewling, “you can go faster.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes… please.”
On second thought, Jungkook wonders if his question was required at all – because you’re sucking him in anyway, a waterfall making a mess of his length, as if the walls of your pussy are dragging him in incessantly.
So he obliges, and his motions change, moving faster and just a little harder. More of his cock disappears into your cunt. His eyes jump to the way your ass adjusts to his ministrations, pressing against his hips; and he squeezes it once, groaning in exasperation before he says, “I’m usually proud of my stamina.”
You let out a shaky exhale, attempting to look at him, and voice, “Huh?”
“Just dunno how long I’ll be,” a sharp thrust and your body reels forward, “able to hold back today… with you.”
He clouds your senses without mercy, and human language becomes a mirage that dissipates whenever you think you’ve found words to utter again. You think you wouldn’t mind being fucked by him for the rest of your life; you wouldn’t even be opposed if he decided to break you in half, if it meant you get to experience one more pounding session with Jeon Jungkook.
He’s still not balls deep inside you until he stops abruptly, taking a second to admire your form; but that second stretches too long for your liking. Keeping your balance by holding onto the couch tighter, you push your ass back, not stopping until you feel skin against yours.
You’re amazed just how easily he slides in; how easily your pussy swallows him, eager to feel every inch of him. And once you start fucking yourself on him harsher and with more force, Jungkook exclaims, “Oh my fucking god.” Waits a little, brushes his damp hair back, blinking before he carries on, “Aren’t we cock hungry?”
“Y-your cock… yes…” You hate stroking his ego, but you can’t detect a single lie in your words. And so, you add, “Feels so good, Jungkook.”
Clenching your jaw, you open your eyes, the door of Namjoon’s room in front of you blurry when you feel tears of pleasure build along your waterline. You whine and cry out, taking him all in. His cock pierces through you with tantalising rubs, and you think that if you’re not careful, you might feel him in your guts all too soon.
“You look good enough to eat, y’know?” Jungkook praises as he watches you engulf his cock whole, hard, fast.
You blend out the sounds coming out of you, ones you’re sure you’ve never heard before, and tell him, “Thanks. I’d love to– to see you too, though.”
Your attempt at leaving him motionless and speechless comes to end when he wraps his palms around your shoulders, hot skin colliding before he slams into you out of nowhere. Once and twice, meeting your actions; and then, he stops as fast as he began, suddenly pulling out and leaving you empty and pulsating.
Another – harsher – slap lands on your ass, and you’re close to buckling and turning around before he pushes your rear up with his hands, leaning down and attaching his lips to your pussy.
His tongue moves in figure eights, the wet muscle, soothing and soft compared to his solid dick, lapping up your juices, gathering extra spit on its surface until the saliva is dripping onto your sofa. He wraps his mouth around your clit, sucking gently and with just the right amount of force.
The groans vibrate through your body, and he whispers unintelligible words that you can’t quite make sense of. You know he’s tilting his head when he pushes your ass cheeks apart some more and digs in further, tasting you thoroughly. He hums deep into your pussy, and only emerges with a smack when your eyes have already rolled back into your head.
“As much as I like your taste,” he then murmurs. You continue to keen and moan, pressing your cheek against the couch, overwhelmed from the sensation; and when he plummets against the back of the sofa, he orders, “Ride me, doll.”
“You know…” you start, meeting his hungry eyes as your quivering limbs carry you closer to him, “on any other day, I’d laugh if you called me that.”
Jungkook laughs before he traps his lip between his teeth, observing your every movement; breathes out deeply when you straddle him. As you plant your hands on his chest, his fingers bring his cock back to your entrance, and he questions quietly, “And today?”
“Today… you could recite the entire periodic table and I’d find you,” you lower yourself onto him, closing your eyes with your tits trapped between your arms, “so fucking sexy.”
“Perhaps… later then, huh? Let’s see which element we make it to.”
Number 8.
You need oxygen – he’s too smug; too much. You might lose your mind, if you don’t focus.
And so, you smile down onto him, and the lewd mess that you’re living through suddenly becomes a dream to him – admittedly, one that he imagined differently. Not this sudden. Not this good.
He bottoms out each time you fall back onto him, your hips drawing patterns of eight, feet digging into the couch. Your tits bounce with each descend of your body, and you rub your clit against his pelvis any chance you get.
Blissful and lost, your fingers skid along his abs, grazing the ridges, and then come back to his firm chest, sweaty under your touch as you admit, “You’re crazy hot.”
Jungkook’s eyes shimmer at the sudden compliment; he presses into your thighs harder, earning a fierce scraping of your nails against his skin. He’s sure you’re leaving scratch marks – he reckons he’ll probably die when he finds them light red and faded the next day once he glances into the mirror.
With you on top, he shifts a little, gathering his energy in his muscles once more before he places a hand at the nape of your neck and pulls you down to him in a swift motion. His parted lips crash against yours, all teeth and tongue; but the kiss is less a kiss and more a battle for dominance.
Your moans gain on volume when he begins jackhammering into you, arms pressing you down until you’re flush against him. Nearly screaming into his ear, you wrap your fingers in his hair, registering every sweep of his teeth and tongue along your neck as you shriek, “Oh my god, just like that, ple–”
“Such a good girl, being vocal like that… taking me like that,” he drawls, fucking into you powerfully, “my good girl, aren’t you?”
An ocean of rippling desire courses through you like ecstasy, and you scold yourself internally for swallowing the drug that Jungkook is this fast. But who are you to deny that you’ve finally found answers to your hitherto barred questions? Once wondering what exactly makes him so charismatic, so flamingly intriguing… now you know.
Still processing his praises, he pulls your drowning mess out of your vertigo. And then, he flips you over effortlessly, still balls deep inside you as he comes to hover above you. He leans down and catches your nipple between his teeth, alternating between nibbling and crude sucking as his hand fondles with your other breast.
Wet hair falls like a dark curtain around his face, and your nerves go haywire when he pushes into you deep. Pinned against and fucked into the cushions, his mouth on your tits sends a current through your body. Once he emerges, he seeks your gaze, fingers on your jaw as he asks, “How do you feel?”
“I… so much better than… I imagined.”
A question mark forms in his eyes, but he smirks vainly, bringing his face to yours until his breath is smogging your mind once again. But then, you revoke your statement, claiming, “It’s nothing.”
He stares at you quietly before he chuckles, still not convinced, and smacks your tit. His hand settles around your neck slowly, carefully as he commands, “Spill.”
You nearly choke on your saliva when he presses into your neck gently, lifting your head. Capitulating, you wail before you confess, “Had a dream… the night we– we matched.”
“Yeah?” Jungkook whispers, his tongue gliding along your lips. “Elaborate.”
“I– wanted you to fuck me so fucking bad, but… you ass never did.”
“Dream Jungkook is a damn jerk then. I would never,” his pounding slows down, his legs tired, and he waits a moment before he continues, “I thought about it, too. Don’t know why but…”
Another pause, significantly longer this time.
“Always kinda thought of kissing you in the rain and stuff…”
He murmurs it like he’s embarrassed of the revelation; provides one hard thrust as if to veil his softness behind his devilish actions. But you laugh lightly, still not used to his inked hand around your throat as you tease, “How sappy.”
“I can be, okay?” he argues, his free palm raising your leg up his torso. You hum and call his name as he speaks, faintly hearing, “As in… wanna tell you how gorgeous you look with my fingers around your neck. Like… like a pretty necklace.”
“Romance isn’t dead, huh?”
“Well,” he answers, chuckling before his palm vanishes, holding your hips instead, “I don’t think about kissing in the rain with just anyone.”
“And now…” you breathe, your arms snaking around his neck, “can you kiss me now, too?”
It takes a mere smile and a closing of distance to give in to you, the kiss soft yet messy somehow. Barely any time passes before you’re rubbing your clit and creaming his cock, the orgasm so intense and mind-numbing that your entire body shakes.
Your legs grow weak, your soul ascending – it takes you a moment to open your eyes and look at him again, but when you do, he’s staring at you in admiration. Like he’s seeing you for the first time. And then, he says, “You’re… the fucking hottest girl I’ve ever seen.”
And coming from Jeon Jungkook, this must be the compliment of the century.
Not soon after, his movements become sloppy and unsteady too, and when his voice falls a few octaves, you know what’s happening before he says it, “Gonna come, I–”
He pulls out, ripping the condom off; but before he can jerk himself off, you sit up straight, surprising him pleasantly when you grab his cock and take him into your mouth as much your throat allows. His shaft hits the back and triggers your gag reflex almost immediately, but you don’t falter as you begin to bop your head back and forth.
Your tongue swirls around the smooth skin – and with him already on the edge, it takes barely a minute before his cock twitches and he calls your name. His body shivers, his hand in your hair; one more suck and… you close your eyes.
Breathing through the nose, you swallow every rope of cum he spills inside you, his hips stuttering as much as his voice – and then, he’s done, his chin resting against his chest. Sinking back into the couch, he pulls you with him, chuckling a little as he says, “Now that was. Really unexpected.”
“In a good way, I hope.”
“Are you kidding? In the best way.”
You fall onto his torso softly, placing your hands under your cheek as you look up at him and catch your breath. The room is sex-scented and hot, but the heat doesn’t compare to when Jungkook meets your gaze gently.
He smiles at you, wiggling his eyebrows as if to ask how it’s going; and you laugh, telling him, “That was crazy. Pinch me, so I know it happened.”
You think he’ll oblige, if only to tease you – but instead, he pulls you closer, pecking your lips once as he confirms, “It happened.” He bites into his lower lip, watching your eyelashes fall timidly before he adds, “I… listen, I know what you think of me. And you might be right about most things, but…”
No matter how much confidence he exudes on any other day, he seems to stumble over his words a lot when he’s around you. You wonder what it is today that has him struggling this way.
“But that was a great deal to me,” he continues, gulping, “and I’d like to do it again. Not just fucking you, but like… spending time with you. A genuine date.”
“I believe you,” you finally muster to admit. After the gazes he threw at you, the touches you shared and the words you exchanged… there must be some truth. You reckon he wouldn’t bother to say those things if he was just toying with you. “Where’s that cherry blossom park then?”
“I’ll take you there!” Jungkook chimes optimistically, his arms around you squeezing your body once.
You’re laughing about god knows what and talking about the most obscure topics, bare, sweat-soaked and slightly shuddering. And then, out of the blue, he clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he remarks, “Can’t believe you dreamed of me.”
With heated cheeks, you pout, hiding your face a little before you take it a step further and say, “I also imagined you taking off your glasses and kissing me…”
“In uh… class.”
“Woah. That’s not even dreaming anymore.”
“It hasn’t happened that often!” you defend, slapping his firm bicep playfully while joining his delighted, amused snicker.
He pushes you to your back, pinning your wrists to the couch to stop your gentle attacks. His nose brushes yours, his lips a hair’s breadth away as he whispers, “Really not?”
“No.” He cocks an eyebrow, and you shrug. “No! I didn’t!”
“If you say so.”
And then, he’s leaning in more, kissing you gingerly; and when he pulls back, you smile, your eyes falling to the mole on his neck as you say, “By the way. Can I ask you something?”
“Would you ever name your car – and if yes, then what?”
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When Monday morning rolls around, you show up in class wearing the dress from last summer. It’s cute and cosy, hugging you at just the right places. He’s right – you should’ve flaunted it and yourself more.
And apparently, he loves it just as much as before, because he grins when you walk in and occupy a free seat two rows behind him. He turns and looks over his shoulder, smiling at you with a slight nod that you return in kind.
His eyes look soft and sweet; his stance relaxed and comfortable – and before he turns back, he takes off his glasses, licks his lips and winks. Shamelessly, intriguingly.
You make a mental note to ask him where the dress looks better; on your body – or on his floor.
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YAY am i the only one who loves them so much 😭 if you enjoyed nmf, please don’t forget to like, reblog (!!!) and let me know what you think !! writing fics takes ages, so even a small feedback is truly appreciated <33
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delugguk · 4 months
perfect timing.
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pair: jungkook x reader.
genre: best friends to lovers.
word count: 8.0k (omg this is the most I've ever written)
warnings: smut and a lot of pining?? there's a lot of tension.. I don't want to spoiler so you just.. get right into it *giggles*
summary: one night in a city full of life; what it's supposed to be a friendly and fun dinner date, ends up with a night full of unrevealed secrets and unexpected pleasure.
a/n: inspired by this request.
tag: @kookiecrumb ^v^
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can you trust yourself right now?
that's your most prominent inner question but before we all go under this.. mess of thoughts, let's better get right into the main issue. shall we?
chilly nights weren't your most favorite or.. well, who are you lying to? you definitely loved these type of nights. just not when you didn't had the time to plan an awesome outfit for it ㅡ wearing only a skirt with nothing more than your panties wasn't a good plan when the cold breeze freezed your legs to death everytime you walked around but looking at the bright side of it, the only good thing about it is that at least you got to pick a decent outfit.
jungkook told you to look cute tonight because he was taking you to an 'apparently good' famous restaurant here in vegas but he barely gave you time to dress and it was always like thisㅡwell, not actually.. but-
..you're normally used to take your own time when choosing an outfit! - you know you can take too long some days but come on, you don't think you're that bad?
he always teases you about it and with the little light fight you both had because of him hurrying you up, you still think he should've given you more time. but he's jungkook and he always has to win.. right? - you scoff by just thinking about how stupid that sounds. you should definitely win sometime. at least that's what you like to tell yourself.
"what's happening?" jungkook glances at you while his hands flick through the restaurant's menu.
"nothing, why?"
"I don't know, you just seemed annoyed." he comments with a light grin. "are you still mad?"
followed by that question, you hate him so much because why does his doe eyes have to be so big and bright... you absolutely dislike when he purposely give you those manipulative puppy eyes.
"I'm not mad. I just remembered how annoying you are sometimes." you sarcastically answer.
he laughs. "is that it?"
"yep." your body leans upfront to look at your menu.
"I thought you weren't going to speak to me tonight."
"nah, it's okay. at least I look nice so I'm alright." you smile at him.
"that's true." he confirms with a soft smile. but it doesn't last long when his soft expression is already turning into a worrying one. "..but aren't you cold? I feel sorryㅡI didn't know it was going to get this cold." he sadly pouts, inmediately taking off his denim jacket not thinking twice into giving it to you.
"oh- no! I'm alright koo, well- yes I'm a little cold but you don't have to-"
"agh" he chuckles. "just take it, yeah?"
"but you'll also get cold.." you pout in a lower voice, feeling defeated.
he clicks his tongue in response. "don't worry about me. I always use two shirts underneath me, have you forgot?" he smiles.
..and of course you remember. it's something he has been doing for years now. claiming is for 'fashion purposes' in all failures and practices, you've seen him master his layering techniques improving with each year so.. it clearly is something you can easily forget.
"how can I?" you return a warm smile. "thank you koo.."
quickly standing up, jungkook tries placing his jacket down on your legs being very careful with it and it's a nice gesture, but you can't help laughing about it. "jungkook, I think I'm alright. I can do this myself."
"ah- I know. I just, uhm-" cheeks gaining a little bit of color, "yeah you.. do it." he goes back to his seat. "should we order some food and then some drinks if you're okay with that?"
the sudden changes in his tone of voice trying to jump out of this moment almost makes you laugh again. you usually tease him in situations like this but you'll let it pass this time. why was he being so cute? he always was, but right in this moment, you truly feel like you could explode.
"yeah, that sounds cool." you answer as you fix his big jacket above and beneath your naked legs. - feeling relieved as soon as the nice warm embraces your skin.
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between having nice convos, probing the food, giving reviews as you both enjoyed this momentㅡthe restaurant's food is actually nice. totally worth its popularity.
you both weren't chefs or professionals but you could say this is one of your favorite things to do. being used to travel together, going here and there for many years now, getting to know new places (for you both) like this, was sort of your thing. - something nice because while doing so, you both have been able to gain a lot of knowledge through experiences and so, along with traveling the world.. that always made you start nice, very interesting, entertaining and debatable conversations. It could never get boring between you two. speaking about anything and everything just comes very naturally for the both of you. - which could also explain why you two have grown so good when it comes to giving very well done, reasonables reviews everywhere you go. - spending time together just seemed to get better and better each time and so.. with the amount of confidence you have with each other, it's easily to just talk about whatever.
"it's all good now?"
"yeah, I've already finished." you smile.
"this wine is starting to have an effect on me, I'm not gonna lie." jungkook laughs as you follow.
"well.. I'm not very much different than you." both smiling at the same time.
jungkook's lip piercing seems to be a bit.. shinier than ever, or is that just on your mind?
"I've already pay, by the way.." jungkook says, sipping a little bit of his now finished wine.
"hm? when did you-"
"when I told you I was going to the bathroom?"
"jungkook!" you whine. "I told you tonight was my turn to pay." you try to slap his body from your seat but fail miserably when he leans his body back into his seat, laughing at you. "ugh, you even dare to laugh." you mutter.
"come on princess, you'll do it next time." he softly smiles.
but.. your heart stopped beating a little. did he just called you princess?
did you heard that right?
"you don't like that nickname?"
"yeah but you've never called me-" he interrupts you.
"do you want to go now? It's getting colder and you're just wearing a skirt." he suddenly asks.
"I- uh.. we didn't used a car." It's true, you choosed walking around this time.
"I know. remember I told you I had a feeling we'll get sort of drunk tonight?"
you nod.
"well, we're both tipsy." he laughs. "I've already called an uber."
"ah." It's all you say.
"what?" he asks, observing your sudden change of humour. "are you upset this moment is ending?" he teases.
you playfully roll your eyes. "yeah.. I mean, I like it here." you softly say leaning back to your seat, hugging your own body while looking around the atmosphere. people laughing, having their own fun, people in love..
oh yeah, you were definitely getting drunk.
jungkook also takes a glance around as soon as you do but not longer like you. placing his eyes on you instead.
"you know we can.." he pauses, thinking about it. "still have our own fun back at the hotel, right?" he's expresionless and you wish you could tell what does his eyes mean as soon as your very own meet his.
"like we always do?" your eyes glistens.
but like you said, it could never get boring.
"yeah." he smiles and you mirror him.
fixing your posture, you push strands of your hair at the back of your ear with both hands. later on, placing both palms hiding beneath your thighs. - it's such a small movement, but jungkook notices.
"are your hands cold?" he questions, earnestly.
"uh.." you don't know why you hesitate to respond. "..a little?"
jungkook gives you a warm sided smile. "do you want us to go now?" endearing enough, he extends both of his hands at you. signalling for you to reach them.
the moment you feel his palms, you're astonished. "how are your hands so warm?" you ask, kindly squishing his hands.
It makes jungkook chuckle. "I'm always warm.."
and there's just something about the way he said it..
your heart should stop beating this fast. what was going on?
jungkook continues, "I think it's time for us to go, we better wait outside." then he remembers, "shit, right- only if you want though.." mumbling a tiny, "it might be colder outside.." in a very regretful voice.
but all you do is smile at him. you know you were mad at him earlier but that doesn't mean he had to feel so bad about it. you've already said to him you were feeling nice because you still managed to look great. him just acting like this was so endearing to you because he also was being so considerate and I mean, he always was.
there was just something about tonight. maybe the wine.
"It's okay, I have you. my human heater." you tease him and jungkook nervously chuckles.
"ah.." he awkwardly looks down your hands. "yeah.."
laughing about it you delicately unattach your hands off his. scrunching your nose in a smile, lending your arm at him to return back his heavy jacket. "let's go."
but he hesitates about if he should take it or not.
"no. keep it. it's way colder outside, trust me." he gently refuses, pushing your arm back but failing at it.
"I'm okay, jungkook. I won't turn into an ice cube, I promise." chuckling, you motion back again your previews gesture.
he takes it as he faintly glowers. "but wouldn't you get more cold?" he asks, trying to give you the piece of clothing back.
"no, I'm alright. I think I can survive outside." you giggle and he does too, feeling puzzled.
"fine.." he sighs. "but, just let me know if you get too cold okay?" finally, putting back on the sky blue item.
the sight of jungkook putting on a big jacket like this was.. uh, how can you explain this? the glasses looked so good on him and his little bucket hat could never be missing in times like these right?
he's justㅡthe white shirt marked all of his (what it seems to be like-) strong chest.. pectorals softly drawing a line in between, you feel like you should look away. - and you do. you don't know exactly why. you've seen him do this many times so why were you thinking this way? it must be the wine all over again.
but if you were going to blame on the wine, then how can you explain the way his eyes lingered on you the whole time? and why was he doing it so slowly? almost like teasing you?his eyes were so.. cloudy too? perhaps this wine was hitting strong on him too.. you don't know.
"uh- yeah, like always." you try to smile back at him but you believe your cheeks were embarrassing you right now.
trying to walk away from him, jungkook's faster into grabbing your shoulder, gently.
"why are you in such hurry?" he giggles. "here." taking your hand like he always does. - in any other day, you'll normally think this is something very usual, but tonight..
walking towards the exit, you don't expect feeling his hand play with his fingers trying to find yours so he could slowly fill the little empty gaps in between your fingers.
he's bold enough to lace them together, and it's a completely new feel to what it should be a normal intimacy between you two. - but then, you remember what he once told you once about holding hands with just the palms and the one lacing fingers.
"I just think it's very intimate" he states. "I wouldn't just do it with anyone. It's too intimate, I mean, I'm okay with just touching our palms but if I ever lace my fingers with anyone," he pauses. "then just know that's me being very much in love." he laughs. "I don't fuck around when it comes to those type of things and you know it."
and.. hell yeah you knew. not only you were a hopeless romantic but so was he. you remember agreeing to it.
discussing about it, he even told you he could never hold your hand that way because it'll feel way too weird. you couldn't agree more in that moment but if he's doing it now.. was it because he..? no. you don't think so. he's just tipsy right?
you can't help but feel your body tense as soon as he does and all you wish is for jungkook to not notice since he's sort of walking ahead of you but.. he's jungkook and so, of course he does.
"Is everything okay?" he glances back at your frame, stopping a little but you encourage him to keep walking.
"yeah, I'm.. alright." you try to give him a not-so-nervous smile and all he does is grin while looking back upfront.
is he crazy?
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stepping outside of the restaurant, jungkook wasn't lying when he said it'll be more cold. - to be honest you low-key knew it was all true but at the same time, you didn't wanted him having to sacrifice his own comfort because of you.
"our uber should be here in a couple of minutes." jungkook says as you nod your head.
still holding hands, you take your time to look around as jungkook's gaze reminds on you. you don't notice it but him gently squishing your hand caughts your attention.
"yeah?" you meet his eyes once again that are only hidden by his transparent glasses.
jungkook doesn't know if you think he's a fool but he can notice the way your body quivers. grinning to himself, he quickly manhandles your body against him into a hug.
"what are you-"
"I know you're cold, silly." with his big jacket still on, he manages to wrap it around your body. but not only before guiding your hands around his waist so you could hug him first which is now so...very, much close to him. "come here."
you were going to complain but.. the wine playing its role into making you not care about itㅡgot you absorbing how warm jungkook's body actually feels against you and all you could imagine are pure dangerous thoughts now. wondering how his naked body would feel against your skin because if he naturally feels this good with clothes... you just wonder how perfect it'll be.
but what were you thinking?
you shouldn't be thinking like this. he's your best friend, damn. for many years too! you can't just act silly because of you being tipsy.
tipsy. not even drunk. fuck.
"I'm very cold." but your subconscious didn't seemed to listen to your right mind.. taking all the control over your body needs and heart. It was a rare but very possible situation.
"I know baby." jungkook replies and it's just.. he first calls you princess and now.. baby?
you need to know if this is just him being tipsy because you've been tipsy, even fully drunk around each other before and none of those moments compares to what you feel and what he's doing tonight.
glancing up at his face, your chin buries on his chest.
he smells so good..
"baby?" you repeat and damn how you wish he wasn't wearing those glasses. wanting to see those pretty eyes up-close.
when he looks down at you, his face is so close to yours you feel like pulling out of his body but something in you tells you not to and that's when the staring contest begins.
silently looking into each other's eyes you both last a few seconds. seconds that feels like minutes. his trained arms wrapped around your body in a delicate hug that feels tight enough to ever let go. - your pupils move around his pretty face quickly enough to end up focusing on his lips. his lip piercing looking very tempting right now so it wasn't just your mind playing games earlier, you were growing this tiny desire of wanting to kiss him. very badly.
jungkook notices your eyes pattern. faintly grinning to himself, he licks his lips trying to provoke you. perhaps he's insane but giving him a very intense expressionless face, your eyes glisten so much, so does his and it's like as if you both were silently asking for something that you can't quite put into words but it's also something that's so obvious to guess. - so naturally, jungkook gives two tiny squeezes to your waist. again, something he usually does, but as your breathing was slowly increasing, this wasn't just a casual touch. you actually wanted more.
"what are we doing?" you whisper before even thinking about it.
"I don't know." he responds in the same way. tucking one hair that just seemed to fall over your face behind your ear. his gaze quickly going back to your lips while doing so.
"what do you want?" you dare to ask, you needed to know. this feeling only increases with time so it's only fair for you to know what's also going on in his head.
but just before he could answer, of course your uber comes.
lingering his gaze into your eyes, you could tell he was thinking. about what? you don't know, but he seems very doubtful.
"let's go. you'll get more cold." It's all he says.
and as soon as you blink, you're on the car.
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the way back to the hotel wasn't so awkward thanks to the person that was driving having a bright personality. there was just this one question they made that make your body tense for a couple of seconds but it was alright afterwards.
"you're both very pretty. are you dating?"
with a smile on his face and you glance at jungkook who's also waiting for you to respond.
"we are friends"
you both say at the same time. the person's driving just laughs and there's that look he gaves that yells I know something you don't but of course, doesn't mention anything.
"that's a shame." It's all he says later on after finishing up talking some more.
you should be used to that question. you both, actually. people always asked you this.
but you just didn't know what was happening tonight.
jungkook kept on watching the city lights as the car goes and you notice how he.. still hasn't let go of your hand. surprisingly enough? your palms aren't sweating. keeping all the warmth jungkook's hands was giving you and you wondered if your heart was the only one beating this fast.
the city lights didn't seemed so blurry as you go in the car, meaning you weren't drunk. but it maybe is because you were seating right now. once you get out of the car.. that's when you know the real deal.
still sort of feeling cold, the car didn't helped at all for your legs to stop quivering, so you have no other choice than to start caressing your bare legs with your only available hand and because of that sudden repetitive motion, jungkook notices as he finally nods his head looking at what you're doing.
"do you want me to tell the driver to turn the heater on?" he suddenly asks and the soft warm of his breath hitting your ear made you feel some things..
"h-huh?" you flinch, quickly reacting. "no, its fine."
silently staring at you all jungkook does is, let go of your hand. pinioning both of your legs slowly placing them at the side above his thighs with your entire body as he hugs your legs and one of his hands rest on your back so you could get close to him and it's justㅡhe was so strong he could only manhandle you so easily.. not that you complained though but you think that this is the most he has ever done that.
what the fuck is he doing? was your first thought.
the fact that he did this so casually, looked like he didn't seemed to care about how much this was going to affect you.. or maybe he didn't know?
In this position, jungkook could hug you side ways muffling only a portion of his jacket around you.
this feels nice was your second thought. already feeling his warm embrace.
fuck was your third. as soon as his hands started to leave slow caresses through the entirety of your legs. only close enough to your thighs.
"to keep you warm." Is all he says with a smile, but oh boy was that doing more than to keep you warm.
everything seemed to happen so fast so you tried your best to not do something stupid but jungkook was so.. damn. his hands touching your skin feels as if they burned your entire skin and you didn't know if that was because of you wanting to see just how far he could go. - explicit images fullfiling your mind of how many possibilities but fuck. you repeat to yourself once again how you shouldn't be thinking about your best friend like this.
at least not when you don't know if he feels the same.
but as soon as you say that, you find one of your hands moving naturally taking his glasses off. not because you hated them but because you wanted a clear view of his doe eyes. - jungkook's reaction draws a smirk to his face. lowkey knowing just how badly you've been wanting to do that and as expected, they looked very different now that you could clearly see them. well, not as clear yet because there's not really so much light in this car, but you get it.
saving up his glasses through one of his pockets, your face leans closer to his. "perhaps.." growing bolder, you tease him at the side of his ear. "you want to seduce me, jeon?"
"define seducing." is all he says, glancing at you.
"hm." you hum, nodding your head softly.
if he wanted you to show him, then that's what you'll do.
sensually biting your lips, you start guiding your anular and second finger, walking a path against his chest. teasingly. your head resting on one of his shoulders as you watch your hand go. - ending at the nape of his head, you start playing with the little strands of hair tangling on your fingers as your breathing is now brushing his neck when you purr, "this.." leaving a soft peck on his pretty neck for the first time ever. your lips has never touched jungkook like this or in any other way, ever.
"..is me.." another peck touches his hot skin, this time with a little trail of sensual kisses. "..seducing.." all of it while guiding your lips towards his jawline.
"..you." suddenly stopping as you whisper against his skin and something tingles inside of him.
It makes him automatically react by gripping one of your thighs and you swear you almost let out a tiny scream by how sudden it was. but your skin was basically crying wanting to be touched by him, it was only understandable.
feeling risky as you gain more confidence, you place a lingering kiss to his jawline. jungkook's starting to feel sort of hot and so, he bites his lip ring trying to cope with his desire.
not being able to stop whatever was happening right now, he immediately manhandles your whole body adjusting your thighs to be accommodated along his hips. body no longer beside him as you were now facing him and he makes sure to really open your legs so you could be perfectly close and at his center. he was getting so turned on but still, was trying really hard not to. he couldn't risk having a boner in front of you when he didn't know what you actually wanted from him.
despite not having so much light, you linger your gaze to each other. only the flickering lights could do some justice into lightning your bodies and faces. - staring for a couple of seconds, all you can hear is the car's smooth driving sound. there's no a single smile on his face but you on the other hand, were smiling seductively taking your lips in between your teeth.
gosh.. just what was wrong with you.
you thanked this car for being huge so the driver couldn't really see what was actually going on at the back.
he'll think of you as liers for sure..
when jungkook drags his eyes down your lips, all he wants to do is kiss you but.. he didn't wanted to make a stupid move when he isn't even clear of what you want.
"y/n.." he quietly calls your name. "what.." pausing, only to gather a little more of courage. "what are we doing?" now he's the one to ask. hands resting on your thighs, curiosity paints all over his eyes.
"I don't know." you sincerely reply. same eyes, same feels.
only for you to lean over his chest as your face remains just a few inches away from him. your face remaining with a few inches away, you can perfectly feel his breathing along with yours. - jungkook frozes for a few seconds.
but it doesn't last long as soon as he's saying, "we are both tipsy."
"I know." you giggle. "so?"
"so?" mimicking your tone and chuckling about it, "I don't want you or.. usㅡmaking something that will later ruin us.." he utters.
"ruin us?" you repeat.
he nods.
"are you speaking from my or your point of view?"
"y/n.." he humorously warns, with a hint of being serious. "I mean this."
"I know, koo." you aver very gently to him. "we can just let this go. It's all good." you mean that but still.. can't help but feel a bit disappointed.
and as always, jungkook can see through you. but he doesn't says anything as the driver calls for your arrival. - you quickly get off him, suddenly missing his body warmth but you guess that's all for tonight.
but only did you forget about one little thing.
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entering the room, jungkook's hands doesn't seem to leave your body despite what he said on the car. dancing almost all night, teasing each other with a hint of tension here and there, it was a great moment.
but the couple of stares coming from jungkook were getting harder to digest as the night progressed and so, standing in front of him right now felt like an actual nightmare. so before it all gets worst, after a few more drinks you both call it a night and prepare to take separated showers.
you low-key wished that taking this shower could make all of your strange thoughts turn into dustㅡbut apparently, the universe didn't wanted you to behave so here you are, laying in bed while jungkook's at your side, thinking about many things. dangerous things. things you aren't even sure what they meant.
or maybe you do..
..and that's why you're now looking at the pitch black ceiling. - all you can hear is the subtle blow of the air conditioner as you wondered if jungkook's mind was also flooded with heavy thoughts just like yours.
"are you sleeping?" you softly ask.
"nope." he says almost humorously making you chuckle. "I'm very much awake."
"so am I." you remark as your body slowly faces to his side and that makes you actually take a rough glance at what is like jungkook's body right now. you could only tell much because the only light functioning as your source was the moon peaking through the giant curtains. - with his body facing up the ceiling, you could take a view of his very familiar side profile. the pearly soft lights of the moon barely caressing his skin but you can still have a view of his very well defined jawline. his hair was slightly parted side ways and you wondered just how soft it'll be if you ever get to touch it again.
you suddenly get this strong urge of wanting to kiss him and just before you could think first about your future actions,
"jungkook.." your mouth is already speaking before you.
lifting your body, you seat up still facing directly to his side. "can we do this just one time?" voice small, definitely shy enough for him to note the lowkey nervousness of your tone.
"do.. what?" he's careful to ask.
without much thinking, your next move is to slowly but surely straddle his waist as you make sure he isn't feeling weird or awkward about it. - as he let's you place yourself on him, you continue. - eyes gazing at each others and your hands lay on his clothed chest. your face slowly leaning towards his.
jungkook doesn't have a clear point of what's going through your mind but whatever it was, he wasn't going to stop you from doing it.
"kiss me just once." you purr close to his lips.
"Iㅡare you sure?" he wasn't going to lie. that's something he has been wanting to do ever since you've arrived in vegas. but as always, just because he wants it as badly doesn't mean he won't care about what you feel first.
instead of just responding with a simply 'yes', all you do is place a very daring kiss to his cheek, closer to his lips and that makes jungkook feel sparks inside of his stomach and so then, he wanted to kiss you bad, oh so badly.
so he pushes his lips towards yours. a gently touch that soon turns into a deadly unstoppable heated session as gasping for air was a strong necessity. who would've thought of you two really going at it as soon as you touched your lips. is this your bodies communicating into how much they've been wanting each other? It definitely was something to think about later on.. but as of now, you'll just take the risk. take this momentㅡto saviour what you've been wanting to touch, wanting to feel, wanting to experience.
you wanted to know what every other girl get to feel when playing around with him. why every girl always seemed to run up to you the moment things were over, asking you for advice just so they could have him back. but jungkook wasn't an asshole with girls going around breaking their hearts. you always wondered why his relationships always finished almost too fast. but given to how desperate they always were.. made you wonder about many things. was he really that good? if we were to mention his personality.. yeah he has his flaws but don't we all? he still was so good for you. almost too perfect in your eyes but.. the only thing of him being unfamiliar to you was this. so what if once you get a taste, you can't escape? like all the other girls. what if you feel more after this? is this really okay? - you don't know, but as of now.. you were more than willing to find out. accepting all kinds of fate.
"touch me." you moan to his lips.
"where do you want me to touch?"
"anywhere and everywhere. I'm yours tonight." you say, mind already gone.
"are you sure about that, baby?"
he rasps and fuck that nickname, he already was making you feel crazy and you haven't even started yet.
"mhm" moaning, that's all you say. grinding your center against his as jungkook helps you get more friction, lifting his hips.
you seem very eager and jungkook likes that, so he starts by caressing your bare legs. all you have on is your very short silky pajama shorts with a cotton blouse and he doesn't know how you always manage to stay so pretty for him.. or not for him, but the thought of you ever doing that excites him. the movement of your hips seemed to get more prominent the moment he started gripping your thighs getting close towards your waist. he loved your body, he always has. he just hasn't find the right time to tell you that because he thinks it might feel too awkward. but he has been dying to tell you that for years now. maybe tonight could be the perfect time for him to do that, so he gives it a try. admiring your clothed body as he switch positions taking you down and kissing your neck. the feeling of his hands sneaking underneath your blouse only burning your body.
"I love your body so much, so perfect to me." he deeply mumbles against your neck, heat traveling all over your skin. "I wish I could just take this blouse off." desperately kissing you close to your ear and god, did you feel so hot right now.
"then take it off." you command. your hands sneaking through his shirt so he could also take his off.
jungkook doesn't think twice when he's already doing it. not after leaving a kiss to your lips though. feeling intoxicated by it, he comes back to taste your pretty lips, not getting enough of it.
his body looked so hot on top of yours, you liked the view way too much. his tattoos only being the second protagonist here, of course the main one it's him.
once your body's full bare, you were completely naked in front of him, except for your silky shorts. - not even realising it, he let's out a gasp.
"It's even better to what I've ever imagined." licking his lips as you bite yours, his eyes only darkens the moment he sees your nipples be erect and it's all because of him and there's something about it that makes jungkook want to keep you here and stay in this moment forever.
so taking one of your boobs, he's softly squishing them. fingers circling around it ever so slowly and soon enough, he's already tapping your mouth so you could open up and lick his finger for him. only to bring it back into your nipple, just touching directly this time. - he flicks, pinches and lick them with such detail and care, you feel you could faint as your legs start repeatedly pressing up against each other, only increasing their need for some type of friction. jungkook slowly watch as he silently enjoys your reactions and desperation about it. giving him satisfaction, but because he can't let you get your way just yet, your little cries could only affect him this much so that's why he gently sundered your legs apart so you could stop doing that and prevent him from wanting to fuck you right away.
you make him that weak.
"calm down baby, I'll treat you nice.. I promise." he kisses your lips but all you do is complain, moaning into his lips.
"I'm so wet, please do something about it." you arch your back as you slowly circle your hips in the neediest way, giving him those pleading puppy eyes an jungkook's mind almost stop functioning for a few seconds. you were so adorably fuckable, this might not last as much as he wants.
"fuck- you really want me to.." he pauses. "agh, fuck." hissing between his teeth he takes a step back getting comfortable in bed, opening more your legs as he got rid of your shorts. only letting you wear your white, now with a big round wet circle, underwear. "fuck. you really are so wet." he sighs, overwhelmed by the sight.
tracing one finger on top of where you want him the most, he teases you with long and slow traces as he watch your body twitch. god, you were so needy. he never imagined you to be this way and fuck does that turn him on so badly.. - your little whimpers are like music to his ears when he sees you caught your lips in between your teeth as soon as he keeps teasing you. just now adding a bit more of weight on his finger. you close your eyes and he let's your hips grind on it.
Intensifying your sways of hips, you seat up on your elbows as you keep your eyes glued to him, panting so much with your mouth mid-open as your arousal and orgasm increases. -jungkook suddenly flicks over your clothed heat and you flinch, just to feel your clit and walls pulsate because of it. "fuck" you cry as your head faces the ceiling. - jungkook grins at that seeing the way your hips grind on his hand more aggressively, he proceeds onto flattening his entire palm over your pussy and as soon as you know, he's giving consecutive mini slaps into it. making your breathing cut in between as your legs tremble.
"mm, are you going to cum pretty girl?" his voice so nice, so sensual. It just feels so right.
"euhng" you sob.
"is that all you can say?" he traces a long deep line in between your wet clothed pussy lips.
but you can barely talk as it's already so hard to breathe.
"it's okay baby.. you look so fucking hot right now." he rasps licking his lips. "so sexy.." in between his breath.
"cum.. make me c-cum." you plead with those eyes again.
you desperately nod with your eyes closed.
"is that what you want?"
"eung." you moan.
and it sounds so rich that jungkook doesn't wait any longer into taking your drenched panties off and rapidly enough, he gets comfortable to start eating you out.
"agh! fuck-" his tongue so warm against yours as he flattened it on top of your clit. his saliva just mixing with your arousal as his silky black hair just landed over his sweaty forehead - jungkook barely moved but he felt so hot and so turned on, his body was already condensing it all.
"so fucking good." he moans against your clit, kissing on it very passionately. he was so good that your hands couldn't find another spot other than to stay over his head.
you think you've never been more turned on in your life. he really wasn't kidding when he said he'll treat you nice. this was beyond good for you. he was incredibly so good.
introducing one of his fingers now, the feeling was so high that you couldn't wait more so you cummed on him, so god damn much, jungkook just enjoyed having to place your hips back down to bed because you were trembling so much. your moans enriching his ears... he wanted you so fucking bad. he don't think you could even imagine a portion of how much.
after reaching your end, your walls were pulsating so crazy along your clit. and you don't think you've ever felt this horny before. your clit just have this rich sensation of wanting to be stimulated all over again.. it's not even to the point of you wanting to feel some overstimulation, you were actually very horny again like you feel you could cum again if he wanted you to. you've already recovered so fast, you don't think somebody has ever made you feel this way..
"jungkook.." you seat down this time, arching your back and sticking up your ass as you almost cringe at how wet you are. only the soft and cold air of the room meeting your exposed private parts. jungkook mimics your position, only this time sort of manspreading. he's so horny too. you could see it from his pajama pants and they weren't even tight into his legs. eyes lidded and so dark, you don't think you've ever seen him like this but.. it was quite a sight. he was so damn attractive, fuck.
"take off your pants." you command and he does as you say.
once he reveals his dick, he's so hard it inmediately jumps back into his stomach. prominent and faded veins around it but they aren't much, just a few ones. the right amount. his tip being of an angry pretty red, you can't believe even his dick is so fucking delicious to look at. he just got it all, doesn't he?
the moment you delicately grab his dick, he stops you. "wh-"
"I want you to kiss me while you masturbate on top of me."
"huh?" your body astonished.
"just get on top of me and grind my dick with your pretty pussy, yeah?" he croaked very hotly.
he doesn't need to ask you twice.. your pussy clenches at the thought of feeling his bare dick and all that's on your mind is him right now.. not believing of the day for you to be doing this but look at you now, about to extend your juices along his length.
jungkook angled his head resting against the bed headboard as he lays down. - you seductively feel bold enough to crawl towards him with both of his legs forming a straight line. he motions his hands behind of his neck, all while a very devilish smirk plastered on his very tempting lips.
just how much more hot can this man get?
the moment you straddle his waist, both of your hands run through his abs and firm pectorals. you give him a few kisses. enjoying the way he sighed closing his eyes. you took your time to feel him whole, those gym schedules were doing their glorious work. - you kiss his neck, bite his earlobe, tease him a little, have fun a little. until your lips finally land on top of his lips. very nicely, very warm..
and damn it was a mess. not only down there but your feelings too.. just how much do you actually like him? those were your current thoughts.
placing your hands at both sides of his neck, your hips finally lowers into his length.
gasping in between kisses the moment your walls wrap around his tip ㅡ he feels so big, so thick, so rich.. you suddenly are in need of his warm touch so you take both of his arms, putting it back at the side of your legs to see what he'll do about it.
slowly swaying your hips back and forth, your pussy coated his dick so well.. it was messy, but so hot.. just something about teasing him getting inside but not entirely..
promptly grasping each side of your hips, jungkook takes his time into palming your ass. you're making so much sensual noises.. his heart couldn't stop beating. his breathing only getting heavier along with yours. he searches back into your lips. giving you a lingering kiss as he squeezed your body so nicely. he can't stop his emotions of wanting to tell you his feelings and so,
"I like you so fucking much y/n.." he finally confesses against your lips. his hips only twitching for the way your pussy slided against him. he was getting desperate just as much as you.
"fuck." It's all you say while lowering your head into his shoulder, slightly biting it and moaning about it because you didn't know him confessing to you like this could get you this horny. - maybe it was because of the fact of him feeling the same way as you.
"gosh, I want you like crazy. I'm so ffucking sorry." he whimpers, pressing down your ass right now.
but his apology is not welcomed because you want him to know how badly you also want him and like him. - you aren't stupid to like, not know that this is the perfect opportunity to confess your feelings so with nothing else to lose, you make it better to let him know just as much.
grinding slowly but eagerly into him, you unattach your face off his shoulder just so you could give him a very loving piercing look, breathing into his lips as you both lips are slightly parted. your face remains so close to him, chest almost touching his as your fingers tangles at the top of his head.
"don't be. I like you too, jeon." you reveal, panting against his lips.
jungkook felt his face froze for a few seconds, "you do?"
"eung." you moan against his neck, kissing all around it. "it's been 4 months now." very lost feeling the thick skin of his dick.
"can you fuck me now? I want you very badly..." you moan. oscillating your hips, coating more of his dick with your arousal as you're looking at him very sensually with a bite to your lower lip into a grin.
and jungkook tries to process this new information from entering his brain. he doesn't have other choice than to push it away for now.. - deciding he'll do the second thing he has been wanting to do for years. the first one being already done.
"I'll fuck you good." he smirks.
It's all he says before he's already hovering on top of you, dick in hand teasing your walls, he slowly enters. gasping at the same time, he let's you take your time to adjust while he tastes your lips and it's just - your lips were already so addicting to him.
once he moves, he marks a slow pace feeling you whole. he feels so full inside of you.. - jungkook's eyes doesn't leave yours as time progresses. fucking you hard, he takes both of your hands guiding them at the side of your head. lacing his fingers together with yours and the moment he does, something inmediately shifted with just the delicate change of synchronizing both your fingers.
suddenly, jungkook started fucking you in a different way. it was no longer hard but deep, sensual.. very overwhelming as he started kissing your boobs, feeling your body up, biting you here and there.. - you decide you wanted him close and so your legs naturally fondle around his waist. his breathing now burning your neck, you were getting closer with how heavy his body feels against yours and so, when you finally cum, it doesn't take longer as soon as he follows you up.
breathing between each others bodies, the only thing that can be felt right now was the same old soft sound of the air conditioner and your very delighted heartbeats.
and suddenly, after taking a very well deserved cold shower, an already sleeping jungkook lays on this shared bed and all you can think about is.. once tomorrow comes, how different things going to be?
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"why didn't you tell me and waited for four months?" jungkook insisted. "you could've told me."
"It isn't so easy.. you know?" you scoff at him. "we have been friends for so long, it was almost impossible for me to ever think you felt something for me too.."
"wasn't I obvious?"
"obvious?" you laugh. "you didn't even gave me hints!" defending yourself. "four months is okay, I could've spent a lifetime and you still wouldn't know."
he rolls his eyes. "why do you think my relationships always ended so quick y/n?"
"..why?" curiosity filling your eyes.
"because of you!" he says as if that was something extremely obvious for like.. giving you hints.
you narrow your eyes. "do.. you really think that's a good hint?"
you burst into laugh. "please, I just thought you were bad at relationships" you fake cry. "even though wondered a lot about why they kept coming back after a break up.."
"well, now you know why." he laughs.
"shut up, that ain't even everything about you."
"oh so there's more?" he teased.
..and you're glad that with jungkook's bright personality, everything seemed to be okay.
if anybody were to ask you about why you were so scared into confessing your feelings.. you don't know. but one thing you do know is..
that once that time comes, as long as you trust your feelings and let things flow, it'll automatically become your perfect timing.
so, trust that. your own timing.
4K notes · View notes
venusiangguk · 6 months
the art of yearning- pt 1 | jjk (m)
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>>pairing: jungkook x reader / dilf!jk x grocery store clerk!oc
>>genre: friends with benefits, smut, angst
>>word count: 15.7k 
>>warnings: dom jk, sub oc, age gap, taekook heart to heart, a lot of self-directed negative thoughts from nari’s father </3, jaykay being a dumb man 😕, jaykay needing everything spelled out for him 🙄, tae to the rescue <3, hobi for comedic relief bc jfc 😭 the YEARNING, guilty jerk sesh lets goooo, lots of memories n fantasies <3, omg slight hinting at jk’s subby era!!, 1 finish followed by many regrets n thoughts ~~
>>notes: part 1 of 2 <3 this part is the post-fight happenings from jk’s pov! i split it up bc as we can see it’s already quite long 🥲 pls dont be mad at me <3 i hope u guys are able to understand jk’s reasoning n thought process a lil more after this !! 
this is part of my dilf jk series that can be found on my masterlist
>>summary: jungkook wants you as much as he misses you.
It’s a bit colder than the last time he was here. The air a bit chillier, the wind a little sharper. It’s admittedly been a while. A month, maybe a touch less. Jeongguk hasn’t really been keeping track. 
 Circumstances, like the weather, differ from the last time he was here as well. 
 It shouldn’t still feel like it’s as big of a deal as it does. It shouldn’t still be pressing so heavy on him, and it definitely shouldn’t cross his mind as often as it does when he deliberately does his best not to think about it. About you.
 You said you would think about things, but Jeongguk never said the same. So he truly does not understand why he just cannot keep you out of his head.
 When it’s his week with Nari, it’s not as bad– the thought of you isn’t so nonstop. Her terrible two’s, which really aren’t that terrible, keep him busy. 
 Constantly trying to keep up with her, or running around his home trying to find that damn narwhal that she always seems to misplace, even though he feels like she always has it in her tiny hands. She’s taken it with her everywhere since you got it for her. And there you are again. On his mind, clouding his thoughts. 
 Constantly redoing her pigtails that she yanks out. It’s a new, maybe slightly terrible, habit that she’s picked up. And they’re still always lopsided despite the numerous times you tried to show him how to make them symmetrical. You said something about tugging gently on the tiny sprouts until they were where he wanted them so– There he goes.
 Constantly closing and reclosing the baby gate she’s learned to open in the gym whenever he tries to clear his head by getting a workout in. Exercising does help a small amount when he’s not interrupted by his daughter. And when he doesn’t think about how the smudged handprints on the mirror got there. The ones that he has still yet to clean. Those instances are a bit gross but they aren’t exactly his fault. He doesn’t actively think about you then;  he’s reminded.
 A lot of things seem to remind him of you. 
 Work also keeps him occupied for the most part. Until it doesn’t. 
 Visions of you on your front, against his desk, with your hands cuffed behind your back, interrupt him during his video conferences. The metal part of his chair has scratches on it from where the same cuffs rubbed against it, metal on metal, as he struggled against their hold with you on top of him– his suits get caught on the ridges, the material getting snagged on the raised, uneven metal. Just like you get caught on the ridges of his brain, the memory of you getting snagged on his conscience.
 Jeongguk feels so guilty when he lets his mind wander to you like that.
 But that’s not even the worst of it. It’s even harder when Nari is at Dasom’s. 
 That’s when it really hits him– how intertwined you had become in his life. 
 You’re not there anymore, but you’re still everywhere. 
 You’re in the kitchen when he wakes up to make his morning coffee. In his shirt with sleepy eyes and a hopeless smile on your face as you laugh embarrassed. Telling him in your slightly scratchy morning voice that you had wanted to surprise him with his americano, but you couldn’t figure out the ‘fancy, high-tech’ coffee machine. 
 He can’t even remember how many times he showed you how to work it. You were able to figure out the blender eventually, but the Jura he splurged on seemed to have been a lost cause.
 You’re in his closet when he picks out his clothes; you’re picking out some of his to wear as your own, too. You’re in the articles of clothing you left behind, still taking up space in his dresser just as much as you’re still taking up space in his mind. 
 You’re on the couch with him when he settles down after work, fidgeting because you were never able to sit still for very long. Going back and forth between having your feet tucked underneath you, and outstretched on the recliner. Between having your head in your hand, and in his lap. 
 Jeongguk will say that he’s able to get through a series, a movie, a documentary– much faster, and he’s able to remember the premise a lot better now that he doesn’t have you constantly asking him questions about the plot. Questions you would have found the answer to eventually if you would have just watched. An annoying, yet cute and endearing tendency of yours that he misses more than he thought he would and more than he probably should.
 You’re in the garden too. In the flowers, the colors of the petals match the color of your nails that week. You’re in the grass, resting atop a blanket, head pillowed on your arms, just watching him as he tends to the weeds. You’re in the sun that beats down on his back because it feels warm, exactly like you did.
 A brisk breeze blows Jeongguk out of his thoughts and back to the present. He’s met with the familiar door in front of him. He’s apprehensive as he brings his hand up to knock.
 It opens before he even gets a chance to rap his knuckles against the wood, and he’s face to face with an overly excited, loud person.
 “Hello, my good…” Hoseok’s bright smile drops and his brows pinch in confusion, “singular bitch?” His tone is puzzled as he looks at Jeongguk and then over his shoulder like he’s searching for someone. “Where’s __?”
 Jeongguk sighs quietly, knowing that the questions were inevitably going to come. He RSVP’d you coming with him to Friendsgiving a bit prematurely, even before he asked you, just figuring it would be a given that you would agree and want to join. You were supposed to go with him and–
 He feels a teeny, tiny hand squeeze at his pinky, trying to get his attention. Nari’s eyes are big and round as she looks up at him. Her orange, leaf-shaped hair bow is about to fall out as she babbles a mostly decipherable version of your name, and Jeongguk’s heart chips a little in his chest. Her speech is getting better every day, even if she still babbles in broken phrases. Even if a lot of her words are still hard to pick up on and talking is her last resort. After you left, your name became one of the few words she could say clearly.
 He gives her a gentle, sad smile and shakes his head softly. “Not today, boba.”
 Nari seems mostly unbothered, used to that answer by now, her attention going to the rings on her dad’s fingers. She doesn’t ask about you as much anymore. Only when she’s reminded of you, like just now when Hoseok said your name or that time Jeongguk caved and looked through his photos with her tucked into his side while he thought she was preoccupied with her show on the tv. Maybe you’re starting to fade away in her little baby brain.
 Jeongguk’s attention goes back to his friend, who is standing with a tense smile on his face. “Thanks for that,” he says with a pointed look, walking through the threshold with full hands. 
 Hoseok throws his palms up. “Well how was I supposed to know you and __,” he mouths your name silently, “broke up? You don’t ever even reply to the groupchat anymore.”
 “That is because I have the groupchat muted. Also, we didn’t break up. We were never together,” Jeongguk says matter-of-factly, plucking the bow from Nari’s hair and trying to fix it and put it back in with one hand. He taps the little, lop-sided sprout and says, “Go on, say ‘hi’ to Uncle Hobi.”
 Nari smiles, the tulle bottom of her poofy dress bouncing, her teeny mary janes clicking with each step as she toddles over to her uncle. She extends her pudgy arms, one of her hands holding her narwhal.
 Hoseok crouches, picking up the baby. “Oh my goodness! Look at all those 2-year-old teeth!” His eyes drop to the plush she’s holding by the horn, “And what is th-” 
 Jeongguk interrupts him, shaking his head and making a loud, scolding, AH sound. And when their eyes meet, Hoseok’s are wide and confused, and Jeongguk’s are trying to convey ‘do not’.
 “Okay!” Hoseok carries on swiftly, the same stiff smile still on his face, “Let’s get Daddy to drop off that pie he’s holding, and then you can go see all your cousins and aunties and other less important uncles, hmm?” he coos to Nari, turning to walk towards Namjoon’s kitchen.
 “Jes!” she spouts, nodding in a rather professional manner like the plan is exactly perfect and like they should get right to business. She points towards where she knows the kitchen is with 3 of her baby fingers.
 Jeongguk follows suit smiling softly at his daughter while he simultaneously readies himself to face the onslaught of questions. The ones about where you are, what happened, and who did what. Whose fault it is. If he’s reached out;  if you have. If he regrets it; if he misses you. The sooner he gets that over with, the sooner he can have a glass of wine. Or two.
 Hoseok has other plans, sitting Nari’s butt on the marble countertop, next to the pie that Jeongguk sets down. When Jeongguk looks at him ready to take their leave, Hoseok is looking at the dessert.
 “What the hell is that, JK?”
 Jeongguk’s mouth drops open, before he sniffs, offended. “I made it from scratch and I worked very hard on it and you’re very rude.” He glances at the pie that’s under scrutiny, and will admit (to himself) that it’s not particularly… pretty. But it’s still edible. Probably.
 His friend makes a disgusted face that he doesn’t even try to hide. “Why didn’t you just buy one like we normally do?”
 The whole group rotates what they bring every year, and yes, everyone aside from Yoongi and Taehyung’s wife all provided a store-bought pie when it was their turn. Jeongguk shrugs.
  “You can grill. You can’t bake. You know this,” Hoseok reminds.
 When Jeongguk just stays quiet, Hoseok groans, rolling his eyes. Nari mimes him like a little parrot, her groan tinted with laughter like she thinks she’s the funniest thing in the world. Jeongguk agrees.
 “Don’t tell me–” Hoseok starts.
 “I just didn’t want to go to the grocery store,” Jeongguk interrupts, his voice huffy, even though he tries to sound nonchalant. Like it was completely normal for him to avoid the grocery store he’s been going to regularly for years.
 “Jeongguk,” the elder gripes, “what the fuck is going on?”
 Hoseok whispers the swear word as if that will prevent Nari from hearing it when she’s sat right in front of him and Jeongguk scowls, grabbing his toddler. He’s turning to walk away and talking over his shoulder. “She can still hear it even if you whisper it.”
 Quick footsteps catch up to Jeongguk before they fall into step with him. “Have you just been eating takeaway for–” Hoseok pauses, “however long it’s been? Don’t you care about your spawn’s health?”
 “Don’t call her that and of course, I haven’t,” Jeongguk replies, disgruntled. “I’ve been getting groceries delivered… Yoongi left us some food a couple of times too.”
 “Thank god for Yoongi,” Hoseok says with a roll of his eyes. “Have you been getting them from that place with the ridiculous delivery fee?”
 Jeongguk stays silent once again, adjusting Nari on his hip. Only a couple more feet until they reach the backyard and he can be free from Hoseok’s pestering. 
 “You know just because you have a lot of money and can spend it on stupid things, doesn’t mean you should,” Hoseok says in a rather bored tone before adding, “Also you could have literally gotten a pie delivered.” 
 Jeongguk pauses when they reach the sliding glass door, turning to look at the other. “First of all I tried, they’ve been sold out since Tuesday. Second of all, can we please just drop it? At least for right now?” he asks, a bit quieter. “I’ll tell you later, I just–” He tapers off at the end, his lips pursing.
 Hoseok softens, as he reads Jeongguk. He notes how tired he looks, his eyes dark underneath. The kind of sad twinge the younger’s voice has taken. How his shoulders sag a bit like something’s been weighing him down. And then Hoseok simply gives a nod and a small, slightly apologetic smile. 
 His hand comes to Jeongguk’s shoulder and he squeezes a few times, hoping the gesture comes off reassuring. “You know I’m just messing with you. And that I only ask because I care. Tell us when you want.”
 It’s then that Jeongguk’s reminded why they all have been friends for so long, and why he’s so grateful for them. 
 Although he’s had the groupchat muted, he’s glanced at it. He saw everyone still including him in the conversations even though he never replied. 
 Saw the individual texts from them too. 
 Jimin’s telling him that Solmi misses Nari and that they should have a playdate. Volunteering to host said playdate, to watch the girls for a little while, to let Jeongguk have a break if he needs it. 
 The ‘just checking in on you’ texts from Joon. Simple yet heartfelt messages that were a little too soft to read without his eyes stinging. 
 The offers from Jin and Hoseok to be his workout partners– the ones given despite the fact that everyone knows the older two have done their best to avoid joining Jeongguk at the gym since he picked up his relatively new and exceedingly intense boxing workouts. 
 Yoongi’s straightforward messages. Merely short notes; just quiet reminders that told Jeongguk a lot more than to remember to bring in the food Yoongi left by the door, to be quick so the bugs don’t get to it. I’ll take care of you, but remember to take care of yourself too.
 Taehyung’s ‘wyd’ texts, followed by a game invite on the Xbox that Jeongguk’s been playing more often than he’d liked to admit. He never pushed when Jeongguk declined, even though he could see him online.
 Hoseok opens the sliding glass door for them, and everyone’s heads turn to look. And it would be funny, the way that everyone’s smiles turn a little confused. If said smiles didn’t precede inquiries.
 “Where’s __?” 
 Jeongguk loves his friends, but it’s going to be a long night.
 The fancy outdoor patio lamps on Namjoon’s deck double as heaters and keep Jeongguk from shivering in the late autumn air as he sips that glass of wine he promised himself. A red that’s a hint more bitter than what he usually likes, but it seems fitting. 
 Maybe he’s a bit dramatic. And maybe he’s wallowing. 
 But he blames it on the alcohol. Doesn’t acknowledge that he’s been down, off, for a while. About a month, maybe a touch less.
 He moves his gaze from the red he’s absently swirling in his glass to the house, peering in from the outside. Sees all the kids playing in the living room, some of the adults on the couch by the fire, some in the kitchen still picking at the leftovers that Namjoon’s fiancée is trying to put away. That’s a recent development that came as no surprise, and Jeongguk’s happy for Namjoon and Hyesoo, but he wishes he could be happier. 
 One of Taehyung’s twins has Nari on their back, her hands gripping tightly in the floppy mop of hair on the boy's head. Jeongguk smiles softly to himself when he sees her mouth open and her eyes turn into tiny, little half-moons as she laughs. He closes his own briefly, tries to hear her baby giggles in his head. When he opens them again, his view is cut off by the twins’ dad.
 The bottle in Taehyung’s hand is full and the same kind that’s in the glass Jeongguk’s been nursing. He's holding another for himself as well. He stays quiet for a while as he stands behind the seat across from Jeongguk.
 “We’re gonna pull names for Secret Santa soon,” Taehyung eventually states.
 Jeongguk inhales deeply before blowing out like he’s readying himself to be around the rest of the gang again. His breath makes the few out-of-place strands of hair that have fallen across his forehead flutter, his hairstyle now messy from his hands running through it one too many times. Then he nods. “Alright. Should probably head inside then.”
 Taehyung mirrors his nod with a contemplative look. “Or we could just chat for a while. Make the kids practice patience for once.”
 “We could,” Jeongguk agrees easily, a barely-there grin on his lips. Maybe because he doesn’t want to go inside. Maybe because he knows his friend will quote-unquote, make him talk about what happened. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t think talking through everything would help alleviate some of the ache.
 The older boy looks like he gets himself comfortable, taking a seat and pulling the cork from the bottle. He tops off Jeongguk’s glass and while he’s filling his own he says, “Why’d you end things with her?”
 Jeongguk falters briefly, the wine glass pausing right before it reaches his lips. “You don’t know it was me that cut it off.”
 He gets a shrug in response. “I suppose. But if we’re going off track records, it’s you that has a bad one.” Taehyung snickers when Jeongguk scowls at him.
 Jeongguk clicks his tongue as he takes another, bigger sip. “Fair, I guess…” he amends, but doesn’t elaborate. Instead, he just sighs. “I don’t know. She’s too young. Or maybe I’m too old. Maybe the places that we’re at in life are just too different.” He doesn’t say it, but he thinks that he may be too far ahead and that he’s not sure if you would have been able to catch up because that’s just the way that time works. “Either way, it doesn’t matter.”
 “Did she somehow get younger since the barbeque? Because it didn’t seem like it bothered you then?” Taehyung asks with a chuckle before adding, “Also, 7 years isn’t even that big of an age difference. I think the thing that might make you feel like it’s a bigger deal than it is, is the fact that there is such a drastic difference in your careers… ” 
 He ponders quietly for a second before he decides to tack on, “Which is okay, you’re allowed to be cautious about that kind of stuff. If I made as much as you, I would too,” Taehyung puts a humble hand to his chest, a soft laugh falling from his lips. The hand he raises is modest because he does very well for himself, right on par with Jeongguk and they both know it. “But I also hope you know that it’s normal for her to not know what she wants to do at her age. Not everyone is like you and Dasom were.”
 The way Jeongguk’s cheeks turn to a faint hue of pink at the mention of the barbeque is an involuntary reaction, and he presses his eyes shut to try and fight off the wave of embarrassment. But little snapshot memories of you play against his lids like a montage– you in the water talking with Jin’s wife, at the edge of the pool with aioli on your bottom lip. In the chair next to him with Nari sleeping in your lap, in the bathroom with flushed cheeks, and him between legs. In his hands, in his arms, in his heart. 
 He revels in it, lets himself miss you for just a moment. 
 “___ met her by the way. Dasom, I mean. That was the– catalyst? The thing that got the ball rolling, I guess?” Jeongguk states softly, like he’s not sure if he chose the right words. He’s trying for an air of nonchalance, his eyes flicking downcast as his tattooed fingers toy with the stem of his glass. 
 “And that never really bothered me surprisingly. Like her job…” he adds with a half-hearted shrug. “But you’re right. It’s okay that she doesn’t know what she wants to do career-wise yet…” He watches a droplet of condensation run down the curve of the glass until it drops, the moisture making the wood of the table a few shades darker.
 “But that was just another factor. The not knowing that came with her being so much younger. I think she thought that she knew what she wanted. Thought that she wanted to be with me.” He shrugs again, a small, slightly sad smile on his face. 
 “I’m not sure she knew what being with a divorced father would actually entail, or that she would have still wanted it if she did. I couldn’t let her trap herself, no matter how much I wanted her to stay. It would have just led to resentment and regret. And I wouldn’t have been able to handle her hating me.” He glances at Taehyung briefly before he looks away. “We just had a wake-up call, I guess. A bit of a reality check.” 
 Taehyung winces sympathetically. “I can see how your current girlfriend meeting your baby mama could make things a smidge tense, and cause you to really think things over, maybe take a break… But enough for you to completely end things?”
 Jeongguk doesn’t bother correcting Taehyung. Just shakes his head. “It was always going to…” He pauses, thinks to himself quietly. End doesn’t feel like the right word because you and him never really began. “Stop…” he settles on saying. “If it wasn’t Nari’s mom, it would have been something else, you know? The wake-up call would have come eventually. And sooner is better than later.”
 “Wait back up…” Taehyung’s eyes roam like he’s trying to make sense of what Jeongguk is saying and his previous statement is just now registering. “But she said she wanted to be with you?” he clarifies.
 Jeongguk nods, takes a sip of wine.
 “And you wanted to be with her?”
 Jeongguk gives another, more stilted nod. “I mean, yeah…? But like I said, it just wouldn’t have worked –for a number of reasons– and we had a wake-up call.”
 “Okay,” Taehyung shuts his eyes and shakes his head along with his hands, trying to shush his friend. “Forget about this alleged wake-up call and your reasons for like two seconds,” he says.
 Jeongguk sits quietly across from him.
 “So you’re telling me she blatantly said she wanted to be with you–” He places one hand on the table, palm up before continuing. “–and that you wanted to be with her–” He places his other hand on top of his first, interlocking his fingers as if he’s putting two and two together. “–but you ended things, basically made her decision for her–” He jerks his hands apart dramatically, with an explosive gesture. “–because you think she doesn’t know what she wants?”
 A brief lull in the conversation ensues. 
 “Among other things,” Jeongguk quips eventually with pinched brows. He feels a bit small like he’s being scolded.
 Taehyung’s head tilts back, and he takes a deep breath before speaking in a very parent-esque tone like he’s trying to explain something to a child. “Jeongguk, you cannot do that. You have got to let people make their own decisions.”
 Jeongguk does not appreciate the intonation and he shows as much by narrowing his eyes. 
 “So ___ met your ex, who probably manipulated the situation to her liking,” Jeongguk opens his mouth to defend the mother of his child –it’s a habit at this point– but Taehyung cuts him off with a raised hand and a roll of his eyes. “The woman literally twists and manhandles situations for a living, please save your ‘Dasom’s not a bad person, she’s not a bad mom’ lecture.” 
 Taehyung’s known Dasom for a long time and while he’s never really been her biggest fan, even he will acknowledge that part of her, the part that’s calculating and crafty with words, is a skill just as much as it’s a flaw. It always instilled an unsettled, almost disturbed, awe in him when he caught glimpses of how she was able to spin things to get her way and gain control over situations. It made her an incredible lawyer; it allowed her to excel in her field and advance her career incredibly fast. 
 And he’s well aware that Dasom has a right, to some extent as Nari’s mother, to question who Jeongguk brings around their daughter. But he also knows she can be dramatic, calculative, and quite cruel at times. He doesn’t doubt that seeing someone new in her old home with her ex-husband put her on the defensive… Made her lash out, blow things out of proportion, and use that skill of hers to put thoughts into Jeongguk’s head, and potentially yours too, to attain the upper hand again. 
 In all honesty, when Taehyung looks at it from an unbiased, objective point of view… He’s not sure he can even blame Jeongguk’s ex. Even if he is harsh for the simple fact that he’s Jeongguk’s best friend and does think that Dasom likely exaggerated the points of whatever she said– it’s not hard to gather that the entire situation was shit all around, and everyone involved was caught off guard. 
 The natural tension that comes with unexpected and unfamiliar situations probably caused everyone to act in ways they typically wouldn’t. Words harsher, actions meaner, outcomes more drastic. The damage done to all parties by all parties was most likely unintentional, albeit extreme. 
 But he says what he says, and promptly carries on with his point. “So she met your lawyer ex, and you told her she doesn’t know what she wants…” Taehyung finishes as if he’s keeping a mental tab of everything that went wrong. “And then ___ just… left?”
 “It was slightly more intense and painful and complicated than that,” Jeongguk replies in a defensive tone, “but essentially I guess? I mean I told her I wasn’t going to let her stay so what else was she going to do? I didn’t really give her much of a choice.”
 Taehyung’s face falls, and he chooses to ignore how easily the words fall from Jeongguk’s lips; almost like they don’t fully register.  “Please tell me you didn’t actually say that to her. That you ‘wouldn’t let her stay’.” 
 Jeongguk stays silent once more, a miffed expression overtaking his features this time.
 “Jesus, Gguk.” Taehyung pinches the bridge of his nose, looks like he’s in actual pain because of Jeongguk’s actions. “Have you talked to her since?” 
 The younger one deflates, his irritation transitions quickly and smoothly to dejection. “Kinda. She left in the middle of the night really upset… like crying. And we– she was probably tired… Then add the stress of Dasom showing up–” 
 He winces to himself, remembering the state you were in. He wasn’t much better off, but still, he feels bad because– “I knew all of that and I still let her leave. Obviously? Right? Because I was the one that told her to go?” He looks confused, like he’s trying to make sense of his past actions and what he was feeling at that moment because it doesn't quite make sense now. 
 “Anyway, I got really worried and I impulsively texted her, asking if she made it home safe…” After a tense pause, he tacks on: “She didn’t reply.” Like it’s an afterthought.
 “And neither would I if someone said the things you said to her, to me,” Taehyung says with a flat stare.
 “Who’s side are you on?” The questioned reply sounds whiny, maybe slightly begging.
 “Yours!” Taehyung exclaims, “We are all Team Jeongguk except Jeongguk.”
 The notes of the conversation have been a bit melancholic for obvious reasons, but it’s more or less remained easy to manage. However, as Jeongguk holds Taehyung’s stare for a few long moments he feels a wonted, recognizable ache begin to stop up his voice. He looks away with a shake of his head. “You don’t get it. You don’t know everything that happened, or how it felt to get rid of her when she was–”
 Cutting himself off is a consequence of the lump in his throat. That familiar, ordinarily tender ache growing until he can’t get around it anymore. 
 “Then tell me,” Taehyung stresses, adding a pleading edge to his words. “Explain to me what happened, describe how it felt to cut her out. When she was what? Spell it out for me,” he requests. 
 Sure he wants to know, but he’s mainly trying to keep Jeongguk talking. Trying to get him to work through the false narratives he has in his head for why he ended things with you, while he explains them to him.
 Jeongguk’s brooding; ruminating as he tries to sort his thoughts. Surface level– they're easy, simple questions when he thinks about them easily and simply. When he contemplates them in superficial ways. 
 What happened? He cut you out.  
 How did it feel to cut you out? It hurt. 
 What were you to him that made it hurt when he cut you out? The basic, most elementary explanation would be that you were someone he cared about and someone he wanted to keep. 
 It's simple enough to explain, easy enough to understand when he describes it superficially.
 But when he digs deeper, thoroughly reflects– it’s not as easy. It’s quite the contrary. 
 Because with depth comes intricacies that are so weighted and hold so much gravity that it makes them too difficult and complex to explain. They are too personal and intimate and special to describe to someone who just isn’t privy. 
 Jeongguk couldn’t even figure it out. Even he wasn’t able to grasp, couldn’t comprehend, wasn’t able to figure out a way to make you and him simple; him and you easy enough to just work. 
 And if he couldn’t understand it– he’s not convinced he’ll be able to break it down and simplify it enough to elucidate it to someone who doesn’t know you as he did, someone who didn’t get to experience you the way he got to. 
 Because it’s all so much bigger than ‘cutting’ and ‘hurting’ and ‘caring’ and ‘wanting’.
 Jeongguk gives Taehyung the plainest, most straightforward explanation that he can muster. “It hurt to cut her out because I cared about her and I wanted her. But I had to.”
 “If you wanted her, why didn’t you let yourself have her?” Taehyung asks, his voice inquisitively puzzled and laced with empathetic pity.  “Why did you have to?” 
 “It was never supposed to be serious,” Jeongguk snaps, his voice vexed and short, like he’s irritated that he has to explain because it should be obvious. “We were never supposed to get as involved or like– as invested as we did. That wasn’t part of the plan–”
 Taehyung retaliates and makes his voice sharp to match. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Jeongguk. Was the divorce not enough for you to realize that plans don’t mean shit? Was that not enough for you to see that even literal years of planning won’t keep something from falling apart?”
 The shift in the atmosphere could be felt even as he was still speaking. Now that he’s done and it's quiet, the tension is palpable and Taehyung knows he’s so incredibly close to overstepping. He can tell Jeongguk is trying to keep himself calm. The younger has his hands curled into tight fists and he does that tick– the one where he subtly jerks his head to the side, jutting his jaw out firmly. But still, Taehyung continues, although he treads a bit more carefully this time. 
 His voice is quiet and he’s talking at a slower pace than normal like he’s trying to ease Jeongguk into his next point. “Was having a baby to save your marriage part of your plan?”
 It’s not a laugh; the sound that leaves his lips can’t be classified as that– but Jeongguk barks out something. Maybe a scoff? A cackle? Taehyung can’t be sure, but it's an irate, sarcastic, scary thing that lets him know that Jeongguk is fuming, just shy of being absolutely done with him and his shit.
 “Tae, I promise you that if you do not think before you open your fucking mouth again–”
 Taehyung winces and raises his hands in both surrender and defense like he’s trying to placate Jeongguk while also trying to protect himself. “Please– just let me finish?”
 Jeongguk says nothing– the lividity coloring his features is telling enough. And Taehyung should probably do the same: Say nothing and heed the verbal and gestural warnings. Should probably read the room. 
 Naturally, he does not. Instead, choosing to tentatively continue.
 “Was having a baby to save your marriage part of your plan? No. It wasn’t. But!” Taehyung rushes the words out, using the conjunction as a way to let Jeongguk know that he still has more to say and a chance to redeem himself.
  “But– it also didn’t ruin anything. Something happening that isn’t part of the original plan, doesn’t automatically mean the new outcome is going to end up bad.” Taehyung watches Jeongguk’s scowl intensify, but he also sees how his clenched fists lose some of the tension, the veins and tendons becoming more subtle under his tattooed skin. 
 “You ended up with the best thing that’s ever happened to you because things didn’t go according to plan,” Taehyung reiterates, his voice soft, yet stern. 
 There’s a decent lull in the flow of the conversation; enough time for Jeongguk to speak up. Taehyung decides to continue when he doesn’t. 
 “Make all the plans you want, Jeongguk. But you will never be able to plan for everything. It’s impossible because there’s no way for you to know what’s going to happen.” He gives him another chance to say something, but Jeongguk’s lips are pressed in a stubborn line and his jaw is clenched. 
 Taehyung begins again, “You can make all the plans you want but most, if not all, of them, aren’t going to go the way you thought they would or the way you thought you wanted. They’re going to deviate in some way or another because you were planning for something uncertain and constantly changing.”
 “There’s a chance that some of the outcomes will be bad, and that they will hurt so fucking bad. It could end up being the worst thing that ever happens to you. And I get being scared of that. I get why you want to plan, and why you have this ‘one or the other/all or nothing/black and white' mindset. I know it feels safer and like you have more control,” Taehyung sympathizes. 
 “But you have to acknowledge that there’s also a chance that an unplanned outcome can be better than an intended one. It could be the best thing that ever happens to you. It could be a ‘Nari’ outcome.” Taehyung tries for an encouraging smile. “___ might be one of those ‘plans’ that don’t go the way you mean for it to but end up resulting in something better. But you won’t ever know if you don’t let go of some of that control and just let things happen.”
 The sentiment Jeongguk is left with is a bruising, taxing one. It’s making his throat tight and swallowing Taehyung’s notions, a chore. He’s blinking back heavy, angry tears, because he knows that what his friend is saying makes sense. He also knows that it doesn’t really change much of anything because he already let you go.
 “I know that I can’t control everything and that I can’t predict every single outcome,” Jeongguk starts, “But I have to think about things long-term. If I can prevent certain things from occurring, or even encourage some, by planning… Then I have to at least make an effort to. For Nari’s sake.”
 “Well obviously you think long-term about the big picture,” Taehyung agrees. He’s a father too, after all. “But you have to be willing to compromise and adapt along the way. It doesn’t have to be completely all or nothing or as extreme as you think it does. You can change your mind as things happen. Choices aren’t contracts. You can have a change of heart and you can change the quote-unquote, plan.”
 Jeongguk feels his stomach drop at the last part of Taehyung’s statement, feels a little sick actually– so he bypasses it completely, acts like he doesn’t hear it. Instead, he says, “I didn’t do that with ___. Looking back, it feels like I didn’t think about anything long term when I was with her.”
 Taehyung looks at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
 “It was like everything was only as big as her. I only thought ahead when I was thinking about the next time I would see her. I stopped planning and being responsible and I started overlooking what should have been important and–” Jeongguk’s mouth opens and closes a few times like he’s trying to find the words but he ends up just shaking his head, his voice quiet when he goes with, “It was like I wanted her so badly that I got consumed by her because everything felt so good and I was so happy… I didn’t think about anything else. Didn’t think about Nari, I didn’t think about __… I didn’t even think about my future self.”
 Jeongguk’s elbows find their place on the table and he presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, before scrubbing his hands down his face, tired and defeated looking when he glances up again. “I forgot that I had priorities like–  I have a baby, a tiny person that is directly dependent on me for everything. I– I can’t just do that.” 
 “Also, I was being so selfish the whole time,” he transitions in an almost panicky tone. He’s rambling, ranting perhaps, with a self-directed, humorless laugh, “And it was so easy to be that way and get lost in her because of how she was. She was so good, Tae. Like carefree, and sweet, and so giving. She made everything so–” 
 His words get cut short. Caught on his heart that’s ballooning; swelling so big in his chest. Filling his pleural cavity with this contrite guilt that’s so sharp it cuts through his brain fog and he becomes so miserably aware of the fact that maybe it was so easy for him to be so selfish –so thoughtless– with you was due to you being so ready and so willing to give him everything– without asking for anything in return. 
 He didn’t have to give to get –and he didn’t mean to, he didn’t do it consciously– but he ended up just taking and taking and taking. 
 The epiphanic dawning makes it sound raw, almost choked when he gets out, “–just so much better and easier.”
 “Gguk–” Taehyung tries.
 “God I was so fucking selfish– like so careless with her,” he repeats. Sounds kind of shocked, surprised with himself. “Like– I knew I had no intention of keeping her. Even if I ended up wanting to, I knew. I always knew I wouldn’t let myself have her like that. And still,” He stresses the word and squeezes his eyes shut and just barely shakes his head, “I still intertwined our lives together so seamlessly and I still–” 
 The atmosphere is heavy and there’s an air of disappointment cloaking Jeongguk’s thoughts and admissions. It’s undeniable that the chagrin is self-directed; displeased with himself not only because of how irresponsible he feels he was –with you and his daughter– but also because of how he’s let the whole situation deplete him. How he let himself get so fixated that he’s only just now recognizing, or maybe admitting, his faults. How he allowed the situation to evolve into something so much bigger and heavier than it should have; exhausting him. 
 Taehyung, who finishes off his glass of wine during the pregnant pause, looks across the table and holds Jeongguk’s gaze for a fleeting moment before he’s shrugging. His tone is listless, lackadaisical as he says, “I don’t think you were being selfish. You said it yourself: You were happy with her. She was happy with you.”
 Jeongguk sits there, flabbergasted and at a loss for words. It feels like he’s falling apart, maybe close to dying even– yet across from him his best friend looks almost bored? Maybe not bored, but stoically calm? Aloof? 
 And Jeongguk knows he’s being sensitive and dramatic and he knows it’s not Taehyung that’s becoming hyperconscious of his past mistakes, but aloof isn’t exactly the reaction he expected after more or less having a breakdown. Jeongguk takes a moment, gathers himself just to become confused again when he catches up to Taehyung’s words. 
 He asks his friend if he means what he said about not thinking that Jeongguk was selfish. Can’t fathom how Taehyung couldn’t see the selfishness of his actions, how he can find him blameless in the situation; when he, himself feels his self-interest was blatant.
 “Based on what you told me, I think you portrayed a lot of…” The older one pauses, eyes looking skyward like he’s searching for the right word. It kind of seems like he’s settling, trying to soften the blow, when he says “...unbecoming qualities.” 
 His shoulders slump at Taehyung’s words, but Jeongguk now deems that he doesn’t need to know how his friend can find him blameless because his friend simply doesn’t. 
 Not that Jeongguk can blame him. 
 “But I don’t think selfishness was one of them because I don't think it’s selfish to prioritize happiness,” he states. “It’s the universal pursuit– everyone wants it…” He squints at Jeongguk, his expression mildly captious. “If anything I think you were more selfish when you ended things.”
 A soft, unbelieving scoff leaves Jeongguk's lips before he can stop it. He recovers by shaking his head. His fingers extend, and he waves his hands around a little like he’s frustrated. “I ended it for her. So she could be free–”
 “So you wanted her to be ‘free’,” Taehyung wiggles his fingers, air-quoting. “but not the kind of ‘free’ where she’s ‘free’ to make her own decisions?”
 “I–” Jeongguk’s mouth snaps shut. He flounders a little before he gives up and settles into a malcontent frown.
 “Do you see what I’m getting at?” Taehyung asks, his tone slightly parental again. Sounds mostly patient, if not, just edging on short.
 Jeongguk’s reply is headstrong silence.
 “You completely snubbed her and overlooked what she wanted to do what you wanted because you thought it was selfless and the right thing–”
 “I didn’t want to–”
 “But you must have?” Taehyung says, his palms open and gesturing in front of him like the proof is plain to see, like it’s right there on the empty table between them. He’s tried to stay patient, keep that calm tolerance. But he’s just over how dreadfully dense his friend is being. His tone is no longer just edging on short– Taehyung’s past that. It’s almost malicious and instigative when he snaps, “Because if you didn’t want to, Jeongguk, then why did you do it?” 
 Jeongguk’s nostrils flare slightly as he tries to not lash out as he counters, “I already told you–”
 “Yeah, you told me a whole bunch of bullshit excuses for not trying.”
 An offended, indignant gasp is the only comeback Jeongguk can give before Taehyung is ranting again, talking over him.
 “Okay,” His gestures go from exasperated to pacifying as he bares his palms to Jeongguk, almost like he’s surrendering. He’s not, of course, but he’ll admit that was a bit harsh. “As I said earlier, I get it. Like yeah. I get being hesitant, I get being scared. I get you feeling guilty for the way that things played out. Those are all totally valid feelings; ways to… act?” 
 Taehyung thinks, then grins when he comes up with a better word. “Those are all valid ways to behave in this situation.” He nods to himself as if he’s his audience and he’s encouraging himself because he’s giving the best speech known to man. 
 “But some emotions and behaviors are not valid in this situation. Entitlement, for one. It’s my opinion that you must have been emoting this quite generously considering how you were acting like it was your right to disregard her. Her feelings, her choices, her wants,” Taehyung points to a finger every time he lists something of yours that Jeongguk overlooked, and Jeongguk shirks in on himself a little more each time. In his head, he sniffs, turns his nose up at Taehyung’s opinion.
 “Self-righteousness. You know a lot. You may even know more, and better than her about certain things, but not all things. You don’t know everything. Jeongguk does not know what __ wants. Jeongguk does not know what is best for ___. Jeongguk may have an opinion on it, but only ___ knows that. What you think is right, isn’t always what is right. Consider what you were coming off as. As a pretentious, arrogant, self-righteous ass. And for what?”
 When Jeongguk parts his lips to speak, to at least try and defend himself, because jesus fucking christ, Taehyung interrupts him. 
 “For nothing. You’re not the standard.”
 Jeongguk purses his lips and allows himself to be talked over, once again, as he shifts feebly in his seat. Wonders when Taehyung's vocabulary became so extensive and mean.  
 “You’re allowed to feel scared, but you’re not allowed to behave like a pussy about it–”
 “I resent that–”
 “–as you should,” Taehyung says without missing a beat, smoothly transitioning back to what he was saying. “You’re being a coward, Gguk. Like point-blank. Taking the easy way out and pushing her away because you’re too afraid to take a risk. Because you don’t have the courage to choose her and try.” His expression is sad, dressed with muted disappointment, maybe a glimmer of pity. “And I guarantee that when you chose easy instead of choosing her– it hurt her. She’s the one you were trying to take care of, but she’s the one you ended up hurting. And you hurt yourself.”
 Taehyung can see how much self-inflicted pain Jeongguk brought on himself when he hurt you. He’s sure it hurt him in the moment too, but retrospectively, it’s written so transparently on Jeongguk’s face. Brows are pinched, mouth slightly parted, shallow exhales puffing out like Taehyung’s words knocked the wind out of him and he’s trying to catch his breath again.
 He shakes his head helplessly, whispers, “I didn’t mean to.”
 “I know you didn’t, and I think she probably knows that too,” Taehyung consoles. 
 He considers leaving it at that, not wanting to come off more lecture-y than he already has. Feels a little bad about being so hard on the younger, too. But he also feels like Jeongguk has so thoroughly convinced himself that he did the right thing. That Jeongguk has done such a good job of gaslighting himself, that he daftly believes ending things with you was for the best. That ending wasn’t just the only conclusion, but it was an unavoidable conclusion. 
 Taehyung wonders if maybe Jeongguk is the one that needs things broken down and spelled out for him to get that he could have done things differently. That if he made alternate choices, there could have been an alternate ending where he didn’t break his own heart. 
 “Jeongguk, you’re a such great dad to Nari. She’s never going to doubt how much you care or how important she is to you because loving her is the thing you're best at,” Taehyung waits just a second before he adds in a gentle voice, “But you’re not just a really great dad, and you’re allowed to prioritize and love other things… other people.”
 Jeongguk starts to shake his head, an argument on the tip of his tongue. Ready to tell Taehyung that of course he’s allowed to love other things and other people. He knows this.
 That wasn’t the issue with you. He knew that with time the desire he had for you likely would have blossomed into something more. If he chose to– he probably could have loved you. Could have kept you for himself, selfishly, just as he wanted to. He could have indulged in you, could have let himself be smothered in everything that came with you. He could have loved you eagerly, and he knows he could have loved you so perfectly. 
 With time, probably.
 If he was just a touch more greedy than he is, he might have allowed himself.
 The issue with you was that he got so immersed in and preoccupied with you that he lost sight of everything else. Let himself get distracted and act in ways that, as a father, he just couldn’t. So while he could have allowed himself to love you, he couldn’t allow himself to become irresponsible. He tells Taehyung as much. 
 “Gguk, that’s just what happens when you find something new to care about. It’s exciting and it feels good,” Taehyung explains gently, “You fuck up and end up making a few mistakes because you’re a little caught up and preoccupied. Your priorities get skewed because there’s something else that’s becoming important to you too, and you haven’t learned how to manage it.” 
 “And yeah, you might get selfish and a little consumed. Immersed. But that’s normal, not irresponsible, and you have to cut yourself some slack while you figure out how to make time for it and work it into your life.”
 There’s a glassiness gleaming in Jeongguk’s eyes, heavy tears welling until there’s just too many. The drops trek freely despite his efforts to keep them in, his cheeks sticky and salty, his nose runny and red, and his shoulders shaking as he attempts to stay collected. 
 It’s quiet and he stutters a little as he gets out, “I-it didn’t feel like this with D–” A deep, guilty shame makes it hard to get her name out.
 Jeongguk doesn’t even try to finish, persisting with, “I’m just s-scared I’m gonna fuck up again, like I did w-” A watery, frustrated groan cuts him off and he puts his hands over his face when he can’t finish his sentence again because of his cries. Like I did with Dasom. Like I’ve already done, and am still doing with you. 
 “Gguk,” Taehyung laughs, trying to lighten the mood, “There’s an adjustment period and it’ll take a bit of trial and error, but you’ll find a new balance.”
 “___ can be important to you at the same time that Nari is important to you at the same time that Dasom is important to you at the same time that you’re important to you. Caring about one thing doesn’t mean that you suddenly begin caring about another thing less. You just care about them in different ways.”
 Jeongguk is trying to compose himself, keeps taking those deep, slightly hiccupy, self-soothing breaths. Holding them in, before blowing them out harshly. Taehyung knows Jeongguk’s almost at his breaking point but he only has a bit left to say.
 “Maybe ___ didn’t know all of the stuff that comes with being with someone who has a kid, and an ex, and a past. Maybe she didn’t fully know what she wanted because of that. But you know what you should have done instead of pushing her away?” he asks gently, “You should have explained it to her. Told her the bad and the good. Because of course, it’s a lot; it’s really, really tough. But it’s also so rewarding, and a privilege.”
 Jeongguk is growing weepier with each passing minute, but he gives a sorry, sapped nod just to show Taehyung he’s listening. 
 “After explaining it to her, you should have given her time to think about it, weigh the pros and cons. You should have waited for her to make her own choice. Then you should have considered what would’ve been best for both of you, what would make you both happiest. From there, you should have decided on the next step together. And then you should have tried.”
 His leg is bouncing under the table and he twists one of the few rings on his fingers. He’s trying to keep his composure but the more Taehyung explains things to him, the more regretfully obtuse Jeongguk feels. 
 Because he very well might be all the things Taehyung said he was– but he is a good version of them. He swears it. And he knows it doesn’t really make sense; that it’s almost impossible to be a good type of entitled and self-righteous. That it’s not believable that his cowardly and pusillanimous actions came from a good place. But to him– they did. He knows what his intentions were, and he knows that they were so pure. That he did what he did because he cared about you. 
 Admitting he was scared, acknowledging that the fear he felt was pure cowardice, is the least he can do. 
 But in his defense, he just didn’t want to learn what it was to have you, just to end up losing you. He didn’t want to discover how it felt to be loved by you, only for that feeling to get replaced with your resentment. He didn’t want to wholly understand the bliss of you being with him when you were there and present, only to forget it once he came to understand the ache of you leaving; when you were gone. 
 Now, however, he sees that he fucked up. Can see how narrow-minded he was. How his actions, no matter the intent, didn’t come across the way he wanted. That the outcome didn’t go as he planned. 
 He’s able to recognize that if a plan can stray and an outcome can change– there can be infinite endings. Good ones, bad ones. Realizes that if pain is possible, so is bliss. Understands that sadness and happiness go hand in hand and that if there’s a chance for one, there’s a chance for the other. 
 It’s kind of black and white, all or nothing, one or the other in its own way. In a way that Jeongguk hasn’t fully grasped yet, but in a way that he wants to try and learn.
 The consequences of his actions and mistakes can be felt physically. It’s a visceral ache, an apologetic longing, an emptiness within him– and it seems like it never goes away. Like there’s this void inside of him that can’t be filled. Like an essential piece of him is lost and has gone missing, leaving a hollow vacancy behind his ribs until he finds it again. 
 He knows it’s melodramatic; that things end between people that care about each other, that they get over it, and that they move on. It happens all the time. Every single day. He knows– because he cared about Dasom, wanted her– and still, he watched his marriage fall apart right in front of him. 
 Jeongguk’s never compared you to her or her to you, and he doesn’t start now. But, he does liken the want; tries to differentiate between the way he wanted her and the way he wants you. 
 Because it’s the same feeling. Want. 
 But it’s distressing; so confusing because he can’t wrap his head around the same fucking feeling not feeling the fucking same. 
 It almost instills an anxious uncertainty within him; causes him to question himself a little because he believed he had a good understanding of what it is to want, of how it feels to desire. An understanding of what comes with all the feelings that are akin, too.​​ What it feels like to lust after, to crave, to yearn for, to long for, to wish for.
 But apparently, he doesn’t.
 Maybe never did.
 Because it seems that the only thing he’s sure of now, when it comes to want, is that wanting Dasom didn’t feel like wanting you does. With you –the want, the desire, the yearning– it’s so different.
 Come to think of it, Jeongguk wouldn’t be surprised if that novel distinction played a part in his hesitance; that it had something to do with why he pushed you away, why he chose to never let himself have you. 
 Somehow, you turned feelings he thought he truly understood into feelings that had a sense of ambiguity to them. Feelings that he was suddenly so unaccustomed to that they seemed almost alien –in that anxiety-riddled self-doubting way– because it felt like he had no experience with them, had no idea how to even begin to approach the different that was you. 
 Taehyung told him he was being a coward. And Jeongguk admitted that yes; he was being a coward. Internally confessed that he was scared to lose you. But as things are falling into place, finally clicking for him, he thinks that the cowardice might have also stemmed from a fear of having you because he didn’t know how to. 
 Because while you were fresh and exciting –making Jeongguk so brash and so eager– that newness subsequently made you so unlike what he was comfortable with and sure about –simultaneously making Jeongguk so reluctant and so scared. 
 Only because different is new and it’s strange and it can seem alienating. Different is simply unfamiliar and anything unfamiliar is always a little, maybe a lot scary. Naturally intimidating and unnerving. 
 He comes to the conclusion that it’s not a comparison. The want. It can’t be, really, because he has nothing to compare it to. He’s never known an appetency as unique as the one he has for you. 
 The varying wants he’s come across during his life and relationships can’t be compared, but they can be different. And they so clearly are, that Jeongguk’s inability to make sense of it is almost embarrassing. His friend telling him that it’s possible for him to care about things in different ways comes to the forefront of his mind. 
 “You can… want things… differently?” 
 Jeongguk feels stupid, so thickheaded because he’s asking for assurance and clarification about concepts that are supposed to be common sense. He wonders when he let his way of thinking get so off-kilter and how many preventable fuck-ups he’s made because of it.
 “Obviously and most definitely.”
 The sheer amount of thinking he’s had to do, and the inordinate number of thoughts he’s had to comb through are taunting him with a headache. Dull pounding edging at his psyche; his mental and emotional capacity almost running on empty. Yet, he’s not sure he could shut his mind off even if he wanted to. 
 He’s on the cusp of it. So close to putting the pieces together. On the brink of figuring out the riddle of you and him that seemed cruelly unsolvable; like a sick joke with no punchline.
 Jeongguk knows that he wanted Dasom. He knows what they had was good, fulfilling, and comfortable in its own way. But in that same breath, he knows that while it may have been good, it was never blissful; that it may have been fulfilling, but it never made him feel full; that even though it may have been comfortable, it never felt warm. He doesn’t regret it, but he doesn’t miss it either. He doesn’t want it anymore; hasn’t for what seems like ages.
 When it came to wanting you– Jeongguk didn’t know until he learned. 
 Of course, he knew that what you had was good. What he didn’t know was the extent of how good. Only when he determined that it was so good that it was sublime and unlike any mirth he’d known before, to a degree that he’d never felt before– only then did he learn that what he had with you was bliss. 
 He knew it was fulfilling. That being with you gave him what he needed. Scratched the itch, fed the hunger, served the purpose that a ‘fun and casual’ fling was meant to. But he didn’t know being with someone could be so abundantly and satisfyingly rewarding; until he learned that the fulfillment could reach excess; that he could become so full of you that he was overflowing. 
 He knew it was comfortable– what you had with him. But he didn’t know being with someone could be so serenely content, dreamily domestic– that it could make the comfort become something he could physically feel. Not until he learned that you were the embodiment of comfort; that when he touched you, what he was looking for became tangible. That when he touched you, he was touching the warmth that lived inside of you. 
 He didn’t know humans could be homes until he learned that sensations could be envied. 
 He didn’t know he would regret it; didn’t know he would miss you so much. He didn’t know that the different, unfamiliar, scary want would turn into this habitual, heartsick, delicate yearning.
 Jeongguk didn’t know anything until he learned.
 And he’s learned that he wants to try.
 A rough, choked sound sputters from his throat when he feels a few heavy thumps on his back.
 “There, there,” a voice consoles lazily.
 Jeongguk promptly breaking down and melting into a puddle of tears after admitting he fucked up and wants to try and get you back is enough for a tipsy Taehyung to move from his place across the table to the unoccupied one to the right of the younger. 
 He’s able to peer inside now, his back no longer to the house, and he sees Jimin. He looks a little worried, a wrinkle between his brows as his eyes flit between Taehyung and Jeongguk, who’s got his head down as he cries into his folded arms atop the table. 
 He shoos Jimin, and now Yoongi with a knocked out Solmi on his hip, away with a dismissive flick of his wrist, giving them a look that says: I’ve got this.
 With fingers digging into the sides of Jeongguk’s neck, in a supposed to be soothing way, Taehyung asks, “So what’s the plan, Gguk? Whatcha gonna do to get her back?”
 Another weeping sob is the response he gets.
 He nods to himself. “Right.”
 It’s quiet for a small blip of time before Jeongguk whines, “She never answered my text. She could be dead for all I know, like she could have gotten into a crash or something and it would be all my fault and–”
 “Have you seriously not looked her up to check on her?”
 “–she doesn’t have Facebook– and I would just have to live with that. And I would deserve to live with it. The guilt–”
 “Of course, she doesn’t have Facebook. She’s not ancient,” Taehyung explains with a roll of his eyes as he pulls out his phone from his pocket, “She probably uses Instagram or something. How do you spell her name?”
 Jeongguk’s perked up, his red eyes and splotchy face now curiously peeking over Taehyung’s arm. He quietly spells your name out loud and watches as the letters appear one by one in the search bar. A few profiles get tapped through before Jeongguk’s small, sharp inhale lets Taehyung know he found the right one. He willingly hands over the mobile.
 The account is public, but Jeongguk’s not sure if that’s better or worse as he takes in what your feed consists of. There’s an assortment of things; pictures of yourself, some with your roommates, a few scenery ones to break up the monotony. One or two of the small succulent he gave you.
 There are also some of him. Of Nari.
 He finds his thumb moving on its own, tapping on a photo of tiny hands with tiny painted nails.
 “Don’t accidentally double-tap; that likes the pic and we’re using Iseul’s account.”
 Jeongguk chuckles. “Why do you let your 8-year-olds have phones and social media?” he asks, turning to look at Taehyung, who is still looking at your account. “What happened to playing outside and reading books?”
 “Times are changing Ggukkie,” Taehyung muses, “Landlines hardly exist and I want to be sure that they can reach me, you know? Besides, it has parental controls… If you look at Iseul and Haneul’s followed accounts, it’s all just video game stuff and anime shit…” It’s quiet for just a second before he adds, “They could probably give you some cheat codes and tips since you’ve been spending so much fucking time on the PlayStation lately.”
 Jeongguk’s bony elbow digs into Taehyung’s bony ribs.
 After a small wince, Taehyung asks, “That’s Nari?”
 It’s phrased like a question, but to them, it’s obvious that it’s her. But to anyone else, they would have no clue that the baby is his daughter. The photo was taken from a higher-up angle; besides the baby’s little manicured hands, it’s just her baby-soft, wispy hair pinned back by a teeny pink barrette, and the chub of her rosy cheek visible. He thinks he recalls the day you took it. 
 You had just shown up at his place. No invite, no scheduled plans. 
 When he opened his door, he saw you standing there with your too-small hands holding a too-full make-up bag, and a too-big smile on your too-pleased face declaring that it was the perfect day for a Spa Day. 
 You were determined, and you left little room to argue. He didn’t, of course. But he wouldn’t have either. Not when you were right there on his doorstep, practically buzzing with how excited you had been. You were almost giddy; just so happy and eager to spend time with not only him but also his baby.  
 Jeongguk remembers sneaking little glances at the both of you while he dutifully cut the cucumbers you had asked him to. You were sat on the floor, criss-cross applesauce, and Nari was on the couch in front of you. She had her chunky, stout legs dangling off the edge and her round, little toes right in your face. 
 Bubble Guppies was on the television, so Nari was occupied and mostly still as you painted her nails a bright shade of corally pink. Messing up only once or twice. Just when the baby giggled and clapped her pudgy hands and when she squealed and kicked her plump feet. 
 By the time Nari was put down for the night and tucked snug as a little bug in her bed, you and she were twinning; your salon-done acrylics repainted in the same polish. He remembers clearly because he helped you with your weaker hand. 
 Also because somehow, he ended up matching as well. Funnily enough, you had managed to get him to agree to a single finger of his being painted as well. The pinky on his left hand. 
 Persuasion might have been a talent of yours. Your charmed kisses convinced him, as well as your rapt, eager touches. The conniving sweet-nothings you recited into his ear, were compelling, too. 
 Yeah, maybe you were persuasive. Or maybe Jeongguk was just easy. Always too weak for you. 
 His heart yanks in his chest at the memory and he forces himself to pause the mental replay before it stops being pure and starts being indecent. 
 Jeongguk’s eyes flicker down to the caption.
 spa day 💁‍♀️💅🏻👶🏻🐛👨🏻‍🍼
 He feels the slight shake of Taehyung’s body when he chuckles next to him, and the corners of his own lips turn up too as he opens the comments.
 flickthebinna: did u have a baby? 
ocstagram: not yet… 🤨🤰
flickthebinna: ?
 Heat crawls beneath his skin and his cheeks flush pink and Jeongguk can’t stop the clumsy, confusedly pleased laugh he lets out as he clicks back to your feed. 
 Despite the next picture he taps on being bleary, it’s evident that you’re in a car and that there is a palm resting on your thigh. 
 The car belongs to him, the familiar interior lights of his Mercedes glowing purple in the photo, the luxury logo on the steering wheel too well-known to be mistaken regardless of the quality– or lack thereof. So naturally, the hand on your leg belongs to him, as well. But like the photo of Nari, no one would know who’s hands are on you or who’s the owner of the car you’re in. Except for the person themself. Even the tattoos on his knuckles are indecipherable due to the poor resolution. The picture looks like it may have been taken on accident or while you were moving– grainy and pixelated and motion-blurred. 
 It’s captioned with a simple, eloquent: SKRRRR
 “What does that mean?” Jeongguk mumbles aloud, moving to the comments again.
 Taehyung hums next to him. “An onomatopoeia for the sound a car makes, I think.”
 He grunts in acknowledgment as he reads.
 jadedjade: that is a sugar daddy car if i ever seen one 🕵️‍♀️🧐
ocstagram: he’s not my sugar daddy 🙄🤚
ocstagram: he’s my best friend 😌👍
flickthebinna: ok but can he fight 
 Jeongguk finds himself smiling again, but this time it’s a little sad too. It was posted just a couple of months ago. Reminds him that regardless of how drawn out it feels like it’s been, in reality, you haven’t actually been away from him for that long at all. Makes him recall how quickly something good can go bad.
 The cellphone gets plucked from his hands by Taehyung, who’s sensed the change in ambiance. “I think that is enough checking in for tonight,” he says.
 Jeongguk doesn’t put up much of a fight, instead sighing and looking towards Namjoon’s place again. He’s not sure how much time has passed, but inside he sees it’s been long enough for the group to wind down. Almost everyone gathered in the living room, something playing on the tv. Probably one of the many Christmas movies that get played far too soon after Turkey Day. Hoseok’s got Nari on his lap, and one of the twins tucked into his other side.
 “I’m surprised Nari’s still awake,” he muses.
 “You know she’s fighting it, trying to hang with the big kids.”
 “Gonna be very grouchy in the morning,” Jeongguk groans. The annoyance is feigned though, and the smile in his voice gives him away.
 Taehyung laughs lightly for a moment before he’s yawning, his words jumbled and rolled together he tries to get out, “I’ll pull your Secret Santa name; let me take her for the night.”
 Jeongguk is an expert at understanding hard-to-decipher words, so he knows what was said and is quick to say no.
 “C’mon,” Taehyung presses, “Just for tonight. She’ll be fine, and you could use some time by yourself.”
 “I have time by myself every other week.” 
 It’s quiet for a couple of beats before Jeongguk is saying, “The answer is still no, but why do you think I could use some alone time?” 
 With shoulders brushing his ears, Taehyung shrugs. “You just worked through a lot of tough stuff. The alone time could be a good opportunity to sort through everything.”
 Jeongguk hums. 
 “You could start thinking about what you’re going to do about ___. What the first step is, what you’re gonna say.” 
 Taehyung takes a second to look at Jeongguk’s profile. It’s quick, and the latter attempts to keep his face neutral, but the tense way the corners of his lips pull down isn’t missed.  Jeongguk can’t mask the hesitant unease, and Taehyung has enough social awareness to pick up on it and know that it probably means that Jeongguk might not be ready for that just yet.
 “Or… Or you could… cry yourself to sleep?” he tries. He thinks for a split second before he decides to run with it. “I know you’ve like– been crying, but if you were alone? You could really let go, you know? Wouldn’t have to hold back like you’ve been trying to.”
 Taehyung is met with an expression that is not only unconvinced but also unamused. 
 He is nothing if not resilient, though. “Or you could even jerk off to that video you have of the both of you! You could moan, Gguk. Loud.”
 “Oh– I don’t– the video um, I haven’t–” Jeongguk sputters, trying to deny the use of said video. His hands waving to and fro a bit, hectic. An uncomfortable tinge to his features.
 It’s true, though. He doesn’t use it. Hasn’t even once since the fight. He figures he might as well delete the video. It makes sense, especially if he doesn’t watch it. Figures it should have already been deleted. That would have been the right thing to do. Figures he’s only human, too.
 “I did not ask, and I do not want to know. Nor do I care,” Taehyung interrupts, “Just think about it, though. A loud, lewd, lascivious, lecherous jer–”
 Almost like he forgets his momentary embarrassment, Jeongguk’s expression veers straight from uncomfortable to unbelievably judgemental. If the look on his face could speak, it would be telling Taehyung that he is stupid. “I can literally jerk off –loudly– 2 weeks out of the month. Are you daft?”  
 “Intelligence is subjective,” Taehyung’s bony fingers flick outward dismissively, “But my insistence is not! C’mon, don’t be selfish,” he pouts for emphasis, “If I take Nari tonight, I can use her to get the boys to sleep early. Can pull the old ‘baby’s bedtime is everyone’s bedtime’ card.” 
 Jeongguk presses his lips firmly together, fighting a smile, but they quirk up at the corners in spite of himself. “You’re a bad dad.”
 Taehyung grins back, mischievous. He makes his voice stern and comically parental. “ ‘We all have to sleep when the baby sleeps. We don’t want to wake her up and ruin her dreams, do we?’ ”
 They laugh softly together before it naturally dies off, the atmosphere back to being more or less mellow and light. 
 “I know you, Gguk,” Taehyung starts, “And I know that you don’t need a break. But I also know that a break wouldn’t hurt. Might even do you some good. Sneak away now while she’s occupied,” he encourages, “You know she’ll cry if you say bye.”
 Jeongguk frowns as he feels himself giving in. Admitting that he is tired. Considering that it might be nice to be able to go home and head straight to bed without the time-consuming dad routine. He loves it, of course, and he’ll miss doing it– but after the night he’s had? He feels a little bad but tries to soften the guilt by thinking about what Taehyung said. The thing about him being important to himself, too. 
 He looks back to the house again, eyes scanning till they land on his baby. She’s slumped, clearly tired and he thinks she may be asleep already but then Nari yawns, a tiny balled-up fist coming up to rub at her eye.
 Jeongguk smiles, soft and wistful. Before his brows are furrowing and he’s turning back to his friend with an appalled, accusatory glare. Taehyung’s previous heartfelt advice coming to mind reminds him of something else his friend said. Something less heartfelt.
  “Wait– the video? How did you–?”
The feel of his bedding brushing against his skin makes him shiver. Causes frissons– excited little chills blooming all across his body. He kicks, trying to maneuver the sheet down and down until it’s off of him. Repeats the actions once more but with his briefs, now. Down and down until they’re off of him and he’s bare.
 Jeongguk’s home is quiet. A little cold. 
 This time, it’s the brisk, air-conditioned draft in his bedroom that creates those chills. The bumps are small, just barely raised. Could only be seen by someone who looked at him closely enough; felt by someone who touched him aptly enough. 
 His exhales are stuttered and sharp as his body trembles; the constant tremor is faint, almost imperceptible, and caused by the lust simmering just under his skin. His lashes kiss the highs of his cheeks as he blinks his eyes shut; a worthless attempt at grounding himself. His lips grow damp as the pink of his tongue darts over them quickly; something he naturally does when he gets worked up like this.
 His thoughts are running rampant as he thinks about all the unintentional things he’s doing, all of the visceral reactions he’s having. About those bumps on his skin. 
 Jeongguk thinks about how the restless waver of his breathing and the overwhelmed fluttering of his lashes and the antsy way he’s licking over his lips and the minute, barely-there texturing of his skin– how all of those things are just little ways that what’s inside of him is coming out; how it’s becoming. 
 It shows how intense and how keen the arousal stirring within him truly is. So charged and carnal that it’s emerging as actions that are eager and visible; as reactions that are hot and tangible. So real it can be seen; touched.  
 Going straight home and straight to bed– that was Jeongguk’s intention. He swears it; swears he was just so tired. Swears that he almost bypassed doing his skincare and brushing his teeth completely in favor of succumbing to tiredness. Swears was so truly drained from the night and from how much he ended up missing you, thinking about you. And from how, at some point during the night, missing and thinking meshed until they blurred into exhaustion. 
 Sleep was supposed to have been instantaneous. As soon as he laid down in his too-big, too-empty bed inside of his quiet, cold home– he was supposed to have been down for the count. 
 But his home is as lonely as it is quiet.
And lonely people do lonely things.
They think lonely thoughts that are actually just memories of times when they weren’t lonely at all.
Jeongguk doesn’t think he ever felt lonely with you.
And he wants you as much as he misses you.
His fingers shake with it as he finally wraps a hand around himself. Cock laying flat on his tummy, heavy and hot. It’s dark in his room, but he’s flushed probably. Leaking definitely. 
 The tip of his tongue swipes over his lips again before he nibbles on the inside, contemplative as he rubs his index finger on the wet head, teasing. Pulls the plump of his bottom lip between his teeth completely; makes a conscious effort to stay aware enough to not gnaw them raw. But in the back of his head, he knows it’s for naught. When he wakes up tomorrow it will be with red bitten lips and a guilty conscience. 
 Hell, Jeongguk’s guilty now.
 Everything about him depicts it. 
 His mannerisms are already cloaked in shame and it’s only just started.
 From the way he turns his face into his shoulder when he finally completes that first, full stroke. Foreskin dragging when his hand goes from tip to base. The soft thump of the outside of his fist hitting his lower belly sounds so loud– vulgar in the hushed space. 
 To the way he squeezes his eyes shut so tightly that small white spots begin to come and go in the dark– as if he thinks he might be able to block out all of the sordid things he’s imagining if he tries hard enough.
 Twisting on the upstroke has him rolling his lips between his teeth before he ends up parting his mouth and voicing the softest, most sweet-sounding sighs. The lilting breaths are pretty and whiny even to Jeongguk’s own ears and he feels himself grow warm with a flush. 
 When the tip of his cock spits out a few heavy drops of precum so soon, he gets almost flustered. His demure, wanton sighs quickly shift to meek, bashful whimpers.
 Because it’s embarrassing. Just how fast the mere thought of you gets him going; so hot and so bothered. 
 The pace of his palm is fast, pumping up and down the length of his cock. Instinctually chasing that high as slick clicking noises get louder, audibly mixing with his moans, the rustling of his movements. The first hint of that telltale heat flickers in his lower belly faster than he expects and faster than he hopes. 
 He doesn’t want it to end already. Reasons that if he’s going to give in to this again –into getting off with nothing but the thought of you to finish him, into stomaching the consequential regret that comes after he cums– he wants it to at least be worth it. Wants to milk it and make the pleasure last as long as possible. 
 So he clings to his last bit of self-indulgent resolve. Takes his hand off and moves it away. 
 Precum’s just pouring from the slit when his cock snaps back to his tensed belly; leaking enough that the pink head makes a lewd slap when it hits his skin. He’s hard enough that the tip rests just below his belly button. 
 Jeongguk lays still for a few, letting the needy ache in his gut settle as he puffs out soft pants. Trails his nails lazily over his skin; a gesture that taunts him as much as it gets him ready. Warming him up for his own touch again.
 He’s sifting through his memories of you when he gives in and allows himself just a few small squeezes over his length. His grip tight and pulsing. Not quite edging, but… playing. Indulging maybe; sating moreso. 
 Trying to take the edge off just enough to prolong the pleasure and drag it out as he thinks back to the time he got you off with just his hand in your panties, his fingers toying with your clit. 
 It was sleepy and slow, soft in the way that morning playtime always was with you. Him returning the favor; taking care of you after you took care of him. 
 Started with him quietly reminding you of how good you made him feel the night before. Him sweetly kissing praise into your still-warm-with-sleep skin. Finished with you rocking into his touch until you came quietly for him. You remembering to thank him after, your words whispered sweetly in an airy, far-away tone.
 Jeongguk begins to stroke gently then. Just lightly touching with only his fingertips as he thinks some more. Until he ends up lingering on the first time he had you. 
 The memory prompts another shame-riddled rush to surge through him. He recalls how he braced himself on the newly-decorated wall behind him when you pressed your hand against him, his hips rutting and grinding into your small palm. How the wall supported him while he finished so quickly, too quickly. How it held him up while he came, making such a mess in his pants. 
 Recalls how you had to brace yourself on the same wall when he got down on his knees for you and tasted your cunt for the first of many times, his lips sucking and his tongue licking. How the wall supported you, just like it did him, while you squirmed so impatiently, so greedily. How it held you up while you came, just like it did him, making such a mess of him all over again
 The paint on the wall behind you had barely had enough time to dry. Was wet still on the opposite side of the room. 
 The opposite side of his daughter’s room. 
 God, it’s sick. So perverse and deviant and just wrong, but there’s something to say about how badly he must have wanted you. How terribly he must have needed you to take you like that, in that setting. 
 Then Jeongguk’s letting go. Letting his thick, engorged length drop to his abdomen.
 The heavy way his cock flops back down when he eases the tension in his hold– it doesn’t really hurt… it’s not exactly painful when it thumps against his tensed tummy again. It feels more like a muted, dull pang in his cock. Almost pleasant? It feels good if anything– but the general sensation reminds him of a time he ached. A time when his cock actually did hurt. 
 It’s the time he had you at his work, against his desk. After you had him in his office chair. 
 Jeongguk can’t stop his cock from kicking and twitching when shivers run down his body– it’s a natural reaction, mostly. Kind of like how his hands going up to tweak his nipples is mostly a natural reaction, too.
 You had asked him before– if there had ever been a time when he was too worked up, if he’d ever felt so good that it became too good, if you could be the one to make him that way. It was an offhand, spur-of-the-moment comment; he figured it was just dirty talk. Nothing more than racy words spoken to turn an already heated phone call into one that was even hotter. 
 So he went along with it and told you that no, he hadn’t ever been too worked up or felt too good. Humored you and promised that yes, the first one to ever make him feel so good that it was too good, too much, could be you.
 Then the phone call ended, and he hung up, and he pretty much forgot about it
 Until now, that is. 
 Something’s got him stuck on that conversation and something’s got him linking it back to that time in his office. 
 He wonders if maybe that wasn’t just you ‘getting back at him’ for the work party because you were ‘mad at him’. Wonders if making him ask permission, getting him to beg, riding him till he came, not stopping even after he did… was really you trying to live out the phone call. 
 Was that the first time he felt so good that it was too much? That it hurt?
 But as soon as he entertains the possibility, he has second thoughts. Reconsiders and thinks about how that might have been nothing. Yeah it was too much, and it hurt, but he has no clue what you meant by wanting to ‘take care of him’ or ‘have your way with him’. That time in his office could have just been the beginning, just you going easy on him, barely anything.  
 A soft moan he can’t hold back colors the air.
 What would have happened if he hadn’t been able to break those cuffs and get the upper hand back?
 Would you have kept going? Was that your intention all along? Did he ruin your plan when he got his hand around your neck? What would it have felt like if you had just kept going and going and–
 Jeongguk must have subconsciously moved his hand from toying with his nipples back to stroking his cock because he doesn’t remember choosing to do so. But he doesn’t correct himself and he doesn’t stop either because he’s jerking his cock fast– just as fast as his heart is pounding and it feels so nice. So fucking nice that he thinks it’s gonna make him cum.
 And he wants to cum, but he knows he wants it to last more.
 So he tries to keep himself together with a tight squeeze at the base of his cock before he pulls his hand away. His cock throbs, jumps slightly before pulling tight to his belly.  
 He’s worked up so he’s squirming a little and taking deep breaths that come out a little shaky. His hands are shaky too when he brings them above his head to tug at the pillow underneath him just to keep them off of his body.
 Would it have just kept hurting? If you had kept going? Would it have just kept getting worse until it became too much? Or would it have started to feel good again? Even better maybe? 
 Jeongguk’s fingers dig into the down of the pillow, and he turns his head into his arm trying to muffle his whine. His hips pull down, dipping into the mattress before slowly rolling into the air, into nothing. The breaths he pants against his bicep are hot, and when he sinks his teeth into the meat of it he does it hard enough for it to hurt just a hint.
 Because fuck– he doesn’t think he’s ever been this affected. 
 Sure he’s been horny, worked up, turned on. Whatever. 
 But bucking into nothing? Whining like he’s in heat? Trembling and leaking and entertaining things that had never even crossed his mind before? 
 No, he’s never lost himself in lust enough for that to happen.
 It seems there’s a first time for everything, however. 
 And maybe that’s what it is. Having a first with you. Trying something new for the first time, learning new ways to please, and make each other feel good. You being his only experience, and him being yours. Knowing each other in ways that nobody else does. 
 There’s a newfound urgency to the way he makes a move for his cock again. A flawed clumsiness to the way his fingers stumble when they get caught on his sticky skin due to his haste. An almost inexperienced awkwardness to the way he fumbles when can’t seem to get a good grip on himself due to his eagerness. 
 Because the way his heart starts pounding faster in his chest, and the way he has to grip at the base of his cock and keep himself in check again is so telling and oh, he’s so sure that’s what’s got him like this. Sweaty and wanton, antsy in his too-big, empty bed with one hand pumping his dribbling cock, and the other reaching between his legs to palm at his balls, his fingers reaching down farther to press and rub against his taint. 
 Yeah, he was worked up before; his memories of you enough to get him hard and panting. But they weren’t enough to shake that guilt. 
 When he started to wonder, though? When he got curious enough to flirt with the idea of you being the first one to make him feel so good, that it was too good, till it was too much? When he began to fantasize about it? That’s when he got shameless. 
 As soon as he cums, so will the guilt. That’s a given and he’s well aware. But right now, the want is making him feel almost feverish, depraved and he’s touching himself with hands that are so greedy, so self-serving. Unblushingly selfish for his pleasure as he imagines it’s you touching him.  
 “Ah– nngghhh, fuck–” he gasps, but it’s soft. His voice breathy and faint.
 In his head, you’re being a little mean. Your hand on his cock is loose, teasing, and lazy. Giving him just enough to feel like he needs to cum, but not enough to make him cum. 
 “It’s okay,” you tell him, “you can use me, make yourself cum…”
 It sounds sweet because it’s you, but even that is laced with something snide. It’s almost mocking. And his head is spinning because it mirrors so many of the times he’s had you, but it’s so different because right now, in his head, you’re the one that’s deciding, controlling. Telling him when its okay to cum, how to cum, letting him cum. 
 His fist is loose, just like yours is in his head, and he fucks up into it, his foreskin dragging with every push and pull. The fingers of his other hand are still toying with his hole, grazing the cinched muscle every time his hips rock into his hand, but he’s trying to mimic the way he thinks you would play with him; his touch deliberately gentle, a little curious. 
 When he’s just rocking his hips, the rhythmic brushing over his taint and his hole is teasing. But when he starts to get eager and needy and begins fucking his hand faster, the sensation is almost constant– feels so good paired with his thrusts, his thoughts.
 And Jeongguk’s gonna fucking cum. So close after all the teasing and edging and playing with himself that he’s done– its inevitable, now. His balls pulled tight and his cock rock hard in his hand. Wet and drippy and swollen and so sensitive.  
 His body is so tense that he’s shaking, his sweaty chest flushed and heaving stuttery inhales as he works for it. 
 “Oh my god– please–” Jeongguk pleads softly with himself, his body. You. His voice is laced with a desperation he’s never heard before. 
 The burst of precum that shoots from the head is enough to know that he’s there, that he couldn’t stop it now, even if he wanted to. He feels that pull in his lower belly, and his cock fattens up even more, gets even harder and Jeongguk knows its flushed such an angry shade of pink. And fuck it’s such a steady build-up. When he thinks it feels good it just gets better. 
 “Yes, yeah–” he pants.
 Jeongguk’s mouth parts in a small ‘o’, and his brows knit together and his eyes are squeezed shut so tight and if he concentrates he can picture you– can visualize your tiny hand wrapped around him bringing him closer and closer. Can imagine how focused you are as you go between looking at his face and his cock. Can almost hear your voice in his ear when you tell him that he was so good, that he can cum.
 He’s able to get out a choked, “Cumming, I’m cumming–” before finishes. His body convulses, curling in on himself a little more each time his cock jerks, shooting hot, thick stripes of white up his abs. His orgasm gives him that spacey high, makes him almost lightheaded from how satisfying it is. 
 But lately, getting off is nothing if not a routine. 
 Jeongguk feels a very specific and familiar type of heaviness as he pats around to find his briefs, does a half-assed job of cleaning himself up with them. Then he moves to the other side of his bed where the sheets are cooler and not damp with sweat. Cuts the routine short with a dry-swallowed sleeping pill. 
hey... long time no see... am i right... anyway yeah im probably knocked out w a sleeping pill too right about neow bc i am sooo scared about posting this :)) gah v nervewracking i must say... ik it was a bit wordy but i just rly wanted to explain why jk did what he did n his thought process for it n yeah </3 hoping to have part 2 (oc pov/reconciliation <3) out in the next couple weeks, am like halfway done w it....  anyway i rly hope u liked it!! pls pls pls like, reblog, comment, send an ask if u did~~ eager to know what u guys thought n would love to hear from u okayyy bye! 
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jeonjcngkook · 12 days
What about a drabble where the oc hasn't seen jk in a while and when they are hanging out, she like finally sees him and smothers him with affection, kissing his moles and you know just giving him kisses and he's all giggly and blus.... Omg what have i done.
right where you left me | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x female reader genre(s)&au(s): sfw, fluff, romance, established relationship, domestic happiness, slice of life word count: 2.7k warnings: mention of alcohol + 1 sip bcs oc rather be drunk on luvin koo 🤤🥴 oh bet believe we r bringing back blue haired koo just 4 u sarah 🙃, making out, kisses kisses kisses 😚😚 — srsly i say it 24 times n its still !! not !! enough !! grr, ((maybe a surprise daddy koo who fuckin loves his baby ??)), how many times can i call koo 'pretty' ; the answer is also not enough 🥹 !! um, suggestive hints at sex 🫣 & jords being her typical self and never letting the est rel romance agenda go — srsly i cant do anything else 🫠. rating: mature nc17+ for suggestiveness note1: unedited asf 🤷🏻‍♀️… ive had this lil request in my inbox for a while n wanted so save it for something special. so for @caelesjjk — i hope this makes you smile as much as it did me writing this. happy bday angel ♡ and for the anon who requested this, tysvm i love lil fluff requests like these n hope to do more 💘 hopefully you also like it too
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Sighing a sigh of relief, you have never felt so happy to kick your shoes off at your front door after being away from work for so long. The all too familiar feeling of your feet sinking into the plush grey carpet beneath you fills you with a sense of comfort completely overriding the homesickness that once hovered over you like a bleak grey cloud.
The house is quieter than usual, the only sounds are from the floor creaking as you swap your shoes for your fluffy slippers filling the empty spaces. You pick your keys that you had just thrown on top of the shelf at the front door and hang them up next to your husband's set of car keys; the sight of them hanging gives you the answer that you’ve been asking yourself.. Jungkook should be home.
Making your way further into the living space, you notice that the house is kept in the exact same condition it was when you left last week for a girls getaway trip to London. There are the odd toy lying on the floor but other than that, it’s spik and span. The lack of sound from the TV, which is usually showing a rerun of Jungkook or your own favourite show is almost deafening, used to always hearing something playing in the background. Come to think of it, there are also no signs of melodic sounds from Jungkook’s usual soft r&b playlist either. 
The smell of cooking fills your nose and your mouth starts to water immediately. If Jungkook is unaware of the fact you’re home then you decide that you would keep this up and slowly tip toe into the kitchen in hopes to surprise your husband.
Slowly, you creep through the warmth of your living room and into the kitchen area where Jungkook doesn’t seem to be. You frown at the lack of husband in the room, a little worried about his whereabouts. He knows you’re returning today, even offering to pick you up at the airport when you land himself but you refused as your friend’s boyfriend was providing you transport home already.
However, as quickly as your frown came, it left when you find a bottle of red wine sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen, and sitting next to it are two glasses and you can’t help but gnaw on your bottom lip to try and suppress your smile. You decide to rummage through the drawers, pulling out a corkscrew and removing the cork from the neck of the bottle. With a pop, the wine bottle opens and the scent of the fruity alcohol mixes with the smell of dinner, which is in the slow cooker behind you and you can’t help but let out a low hum of satisfaction. You pick up the bottle and pour the liquid into both glasses until half way.. If you're going to surprise your husband then you may as well do it with a glass of wine to greet him with.
Picking up the glasses in each hand, you decide to head up the stairs to the top level of your home to find Jungkook. As you pass the stairs, you stop and look at the wall which is filled with pictures of you both together as well as pictures of your family. You smile as you look at the images of family holidays, special occasions and fun times you’ve spent together. Your wedding picture of you both is centred in the middle and you can’t help but smile wider at the image.
Dressed head to toe in white lace and tulle with a diamond centrepiece on the dress, which glitters in the picture as the camera caught a moment between you and Jungkook staring at each other with love and admiration for each other. Jungkook stands next to you in his custom made all white wedding tuxedo and a matching diamond brooch clipped onto his suit jacket. One of his hands was wrapped around your waist as the other was playing with the ends of your hair. You remember in the moment that Jungkook was laughing a boisterous and beautiful giggle right before he kissed you so tenderly for the picture.
It wasn’t an image that was meant to be taken but it ended up being your favourite from the wedding shoot.
You move on and climb the rest of the stairs slowly and quietly. As you reach the top, your head turns in the direction of your shared bedroom and immediately you see the door is wide open and the room empty meaning there is only one other place Jungkook could be. You head in the opposite direction when you see the last door at the bottom of the hallway cracked open slightly, only to let a sliver of red light into your view from the hallway.
The faint sounds of keyboard clicks can be heard as you approach the room. Gently, you push the door open to be greeted with Jungkook’s dual monitor screens lighting up the room along with the dark LED’s. The top of Jungkook’s head can be seen over the headrest of his gaming chair as you see his giant headset resting over his ears, blocking out the sound of the outside world as he continues to click away at the buttons on his keyboard, successfully managing to kill an opponent on the opposite team of the game he is playing.
On one of the monitors, you manage to see the little pop up figure of his body in the corner and notice that he’s shirtless, which isn’t something he usually does when he streams. You scrunch your eyes slightly to find that Jungkook has your eight month daughter wrapped up in her favourite white blanket resting herself on his chest as one of his hands sits underneath her to keep her placed comfortably. It’s now that you register the little snores coming from your baby girl as you lean against the doorway and take in the sight in front of you. Your little girl has her tiny palm opened and resting against her daddy’s skin and her chubby cheek pressing into the bare skin of his chest.
You hear Jungkook hum as he watches over the comment section of his stream as he continues to play, making sure to answer people as quickly as the comments come.
“...Yeah, it’s proven that skin to skin contact between newborn babies and their parents improves bonds long after birth,” you hear Jungkook say and you grin at his answer. You bought those books on pregnancy for you but you swear you caught Jungkook amongst the novels more than yourself. Every night through your pregnancy,  Jungkook would tell you a new fact that he had learned for the day and couldn’t wait to share it with you.
“It also lowers stress levels for babies and parents too, as well as promotes a healthy breastfeeding cycle for the little one. I’d do anything I can to help out _____ in any way I can. She’s brilliant. She gave me everything I could ever want right here,” Jungkook says as your little girl rustles slightly against him. “Speaking of ______, she should be home soon,” he thinks out loud.
Placing both of the wine filled glasses on top of the table on the side wall, you’re able to rummage your hands in your pocket to pull it out. You snap the image in front of you of him on the monitor with your baby in his arms before opening your thread of texts between each other and captioning the moment before sending him the picture.
Jungkook’s own phone lies on the desk with the screen up; lights up with your notification. You watch as he’s quick to grab it and clicks into the notification to enter in your direct messages together.
You [8:32pm] : {image attached} shes already home ;)
Jungkook turns around and sees you standing there waiting for him with the glasses in your hands, smiling fondly at both him and the infant in his arms. He immediately replicates your smile before turning back to the camera he has set up and announcing his departure from tonight's live stream.
Slowly, he moves out of his gaming chair and makes his way over to you. In the week you have been gone his hair has already grown out a few extra inches, the blue ends now long enough to touch his jawline. The front of his hair falls over his face in pretty black wispy curls while some fall from the sides and have been clipped back by a few of your hair clips. He’s just so beautiful. His bare chest rises up and down gently and slowly while the eight month old girl continues to snuggle herself against her father. You take in the image of intricate swirls and patterns of ink that extend over his shoulder, flexed bicep as he keeps your daughter secure in his arms, all the way down his forearm and hands. He’s just the prettiest.
“Welcome home, sweetheart,” he whispers as he bends down ever so little to meet you halfway into a sweet kiss. You reach a hand around his neck and pull yourself towards him as he kisses you, chasing his pretty cherry flavoured pouty lips.
“It’s so good to be back home,” you admit. “How long has she been asleep?” You ask as you run your fingers delicately through her hair.
Jungkook thinks for a moment before telling you it’s only been a couple hours. Jungkook had already fed her and bathed her before he started his stream, so all there is to do now is to put her to bed in her crib.
You exit the gaming room with Jungkook following right behind you. In your bedroom, you place down the wine glasses and you’re quick to sift through your wardrobe to pull out a comfortable outfit to lounge around the house in, one that you hadn’t spent falling asleep in on an aeroplane for hours. Jungkook bends over the wooden structure of the crib and places the baby inside. The latch of the crib is secured once more and the sound of her hanging mobile sounds out a soft melody.
Once dressed, you make your way over to Jungkook who is admiring you from the other side of the room having missed his beautiful wife for a week. With his hair now removed from the hair clips and almost fully covering his glittering eyes, he flashes you that all too familiar, signature pretty smile he has before reaching out for you and enveloping you in his arms.
You jump into his embrace and lock your legs around his waist from behind, cupping his cheeks as you smother each other in kisses, whispering soft greetings and compliments.
“I’m so happy to see you again,” you whisper faintly as you continue to press kiss after kiss after kiss onto his lips. “I’m so lucky to have you as mine,” you finish.
Jungkook smiles as he starts to walk out of the room, reaching for the baby monitor as he keeps you secured in his arms and you reach for the wine from behind him, taking a generous, long overdue sip. Jungkook carries you down the stairs and into the kitchen where he places you down on the kitchen island and closes the gap between the both of you, placing his lips back on yours quickly and much more demanding than the last few times.
He grins at you, a glimmer in his eye and he hums suggestively. “I’m right where you left me darling,” he winks, his accent lacing his words as you listen to him attentively.
After years of being with each other, it never stops getting exciting being with Jungkook. The warmth that was once in your tummy has spread all over, goosebumps now covering your skin. Being in his arms definitely feels like home; a sense of safety and security that you yearn for that only Jungkook can provide you.
Deepening the kiss, you push your tongue past the seam of his lips eagerly and let it tangle with his own. You both smile into the kiss as his grip on your waist tightens, pulling you closer to the edge of the marble island and further into his embrace.
You can’t help but whimper when you break the kiss in favour of leaning into his neck and kissing the skin there. You lick your lips and make sure to leave wet trails as you travel further down towards your desired target. You give the little mole on the side of his neck a sweet peck, over and over, the wet sounds of your mouth leaving his skin fills the space.
A small growl vibrates through Jungkook’s chest, his hold on you becoming slightly tighter as you continue to dote on him. It isn’t long before your kisses turn into soft bites and vigorous sucks, planting cherry shaded blossoms over the mole on his neck. 
“_____,— mm, baby, am I not the one that is meant to be taking care of you tonight.. afterall you have just come back?” Jungkook moans.
Jungkook pulls away from you and stands taller to await your answer. Gazing into your eyes, you watch as his own eyes do that pretty thing where it smiles before Jungkook physically smiles. It’s your favourite trait he has.
“And who said that was the case, huh?” You jest with a light and teasing tone before continuing, “you’re taking care of me by letting me kiss my pretty husband. You’re taking care of me by letting me make you feel good.”
The only thing Jungkook can do in response is giggle, a light sanguine blush finding home on the apple of his full cheeks and you can’t help but wrap one of your hands around his neck and the other flat against the taut, hard muscle of his pectoral, caressing the skin back and forth before pulling him back in to chase his lips once more.
The kiss is unhurried, soft and gentle, yet with a hint of hunger for each other as the both of you take your time to enjoy being together once more. You bite Jungkook’s lower lip, drawing a shaky moan out of him as your teeth grazes his bottom lip and then letting it snap back into his smile pleasantly.
You can’t help but peck at the tiny mole under his lip and smile back at him, your silent way of telling him you love him. And then a thought pops into your head, one you know that Jungkook loves that you do.
Drawing Jungkook back in towards you, you press another little kiss to his bottom lip mole before travelling a little further down and kissing on the beauty spot just on top of his chin. You make a scene of it, letting out a loud ‘mwah’ sound as you continue to kiss away.
Moving on, you find the next two moles that are top and bottom of each other close to his ear and bathe them in love and affection just like you had done to the other two previous.
Jungkook loves when you’re soft and delicate with him. It isn’t something he would admit too to his group of friends but being dotted on, being cared for and loved admirably the way you do melts at his heart.
“Baby,” he whines as you tilt your head back slightly to plant a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose, your favourite place to kiss kiss kiss.
His hands slide under the fabric of your sweater, his hands warming your skin up more than the material did. “The last time we started off doing this,” he exaggerates his words by squeezing at your hips and then removing one of them to point towards the ceiling, “that happened,” he grins as fond memories of filthy kitchen antics replays in his mind.
His words ignite something inside of you akin to fireworks as he mentions your sleeping baby currently curled up in her cot. You react by wrapping your dangling legs back around his frame, pushing him further into you by your ankles as you heat up at his words and grin at him playfully.
“And what would be so wrong with that?”
Stunned, Jungkook doesn’t seem to know how to react to your words. It hasn’t been a topic of conversation about having another baby this soon, although you both have agreed that you both want a larger family.
“This soon?”
Now you ponder his words for a split second, already knowing your answer and already knowing that you want to start trying again for another baby as soon as you can. You lean in closer, your lips ghosting his as you close your eyes and breathe in your husband’s natural scent. “Take me to the dining table, koo.”
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note2: don’t be a silent reader & leave some feedback in my asks, reblog with a nice comment or even a lil reply saying if you enjoyed — big or small, they go a long way! supporting writers is always important <33
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levanterhaze · 9 days
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→ jungkook x reader
→ word count: 2.6k
→ your noisy neighbor has been disturbing your nights, so you decide to take satisfaction. however, there is a fine line between satisfaction and pleasure.
→ warnings: masturbation, penetration, protected sex, lot of swearing, dirty talk and sloppy sex if you're not +18 please do NOT read. (i decided to write this after watching those 2 episodes of the sex life of college girls)
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It was 10:54 PM.
It was the exact moment where it all began. First, there were the grunts and soft moans, then came the screams and the relentless clatter of the headboard banging the wall. And you were fed up with it.
Every night your neighbor would get some girl and end up disturbing your night's sleep. And it was derailed how the screams progressed further and further, being able to wake up the entire building. You wondered how they managed to be so loud. It was nasty.
But today was your day off. You were curled up on your comforter in your comfiest pajamas, watching a 90s rom-com and eating an extra greasy pizza when your sex maniac neighbor started the bedlam.
And every time you tried to be friendly, not caring too much about other people's sex lives, it was impossible to hear any line from the movie with that girl screaming her lungs out on the other side of the wall.
Yes, yes, Jungkook!
Oh my god, Jungkook!
At some point, you were starting to think that this guy must be a sex god so that all girls act the same way, always, all of them. Or they just faked it every time, which to be honest, was a bit suspicious.
The headboard slamming on the wall was so loud that you had to move your bed to stop yours from swaying too. Damn thin wall. The screams continued and it seemed that the girl was coming to an exquisite and long orgasm.
You walked up to the wall and threw two punches as if they’d hear over all those moans. “Can you be fucking quiet? Jesus."
Realizing you weren't going to be able to finish your precious movie, you just decided you'd better grab a coat and change and go for a long walk until the whole thing is over.
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The next morning you heard giggles coming from the hallway and guessed the neighbor's girl was leaving. It was nearly seven in the morning, the time for you to go to the gym before work. Lucky that your condo has a private gym that residents could access for free.
No one was using it at the time, so you took the opportunity to do your routine exercises. Until a slender figure, dressed all in black and tattoos, appeared in your peripheral. You knew it was him, your neighbor. You happened to see him coming into his apartment the other day.
But dammit, he was really…attractive?
He gave a gentle good morning grin, revealing his lip piercing.
Jesus Christ.
You did the same, out of politeness. However, it was the ideal time to go up to him and finally tell him that he was bothering all your nights with that insane sex screaming that came from his house. You schemed how you would say it, as it's not a very nice subject and you had no other way of saying it than directly.
Jungkook was choosing some music on his phone when you slowly approached.
"Hey. You're Jungkook, right? I'm your neighbor."
"Hey. I know."
Does he know? All right, whatever.
“Look, I don't know how to say this properly, so I'll just say it. You are very noisy. Look, I understand that you love sex and you do it constantly but the wall is really, really thin. So I would really appreciate it if you could… You know…?”
You had no idea how your face felt, but you could feel the burning in your cheeks and the extreme sweat on your hands. You hate being put in uncomfortable situations where you have to step out of your comfort zone and deal with unpleasant things.
But that was a problem that needed to be settled.
Jungkook's lips draw a thin line as he bit back a smile, you can tell.
“Oh, okay. Can you lend me your phone?”
You blink a few times, wondering if you've misunderstood.
"Your number. That way you can let me know if I'm too loud."
He can't be serious.
You realize then that he is indeed being sincere when he reaches out for your phone. And you just hand him the device, being slightly distracted by the dozen drawings painted over his arm muscles.
“Thanks, I guess.” You hold the phone back and try to ignore his glare and that slutty smile that spreads across his lips when you drift away.
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Almost two weeks passed and, incredible as it may seem, your neighbor seemed to have come to reality, because the insane noises had ceased for good. And you were even a little surprised, for a person who did that every day, going almost fifteen days without having sex, it seemed like a grand slam.
It was late at night and you were exhausted after working an eight-hour shift. Your friend had called to share some news about a date she had gone on extremely badly.
Until your nightmare started again.
"What the fuck? Are you watching porn while talking to me?” Your friend's voice was grossed out.
“It's my stupid neighbor. I swear to god, he’s a sex maniac. This is not normal."
"At least he is hot?" Your friend asks and you think too quickly about those muscles pressed by the black shirt. Thick, well-defined thighs in the shorts he'd been wearing to the gym. The broad shoulders… “Never mind. What will you do?"
“I'm going to stop him or call the police or something. I'll be right back, I'll call you later."
"Good luck."
"Thanks. I'll need it."
This time you were determined to make a fuss if possible. You could hear his groans from behind the wall and it was insane. You just wanted to close your eyes and go to sleep, without having to think about your extremely hot neighbor having sex right next to you.
You put on a robe and left the house. There were two loud knocks on the door and a long wait for Jungkook to answer the door. And honestly, you wish you hadn't. Because he looked like a Greek god with his long hair falling into his eyes, his shirt a little open, and his sweatpants hanging awkwardly on narrow hips.
Right. Focus. You're here for a reason.
“Good night, neighbor.” He beams sweetly, exposing the piercing, and you almost gulp strongly because he's too good-looking to be true.
“You’re doing it again.”
"Doing what?" He frowns, pretending to be baffled.
"You know very well." You point the finger at him. “I just want you to tell your friend to be quieter.I just want to sleep.”
“So I disturbed your sleep?”
"Yeah?" He tongues his cheeks. “And what are you going to do about it?”
You didn't want to admit it, but an absurd heat rose in your body, spreading mainly between your legs.
“I could call the cops.” You cross your arms, trying to dismiss the flaming feeling in your body.
“Sounds like a plan.” He smiles and then looks over his shoulder. “Or you could come in.”
"In your house? With someone in there? Why on earth would I do that?”
Jungkook scowls, this time really looking stumped.
“There’s no one here.”
He seems to be amused by his accomplishment. “I should go back and…”
“I have good wine. You look tense. And I owe you an apology.”
OK. Wine sounds good. And you really were tense and it was because of him. And he really owed you an apology. You analyzed the situation for a few seconds before deciding that it was okay. If he really wanted to apologize, you could at least listen to him, that wouldn't hurt.
The interior of Jungkook's apartment was very clean and tidy. He appeared a few seconds later with two glasses of wine and indicated the sofa so you could both sit down. Inside, you were feeling a little bad because he was alone and the sounds you heard… That was a little too intimate.
"Then. Wine. Now the apologies.”
He drinks down his wine and then looks at you curiously.
“You missed something.” Jungkook stares at you earnestly. “You’re still tense.”
You gulp down the wine quickly, trying to disguise how sweaty you were by the way his eyes stared at you. "I’m fine. Thanks for the wine. I really need to go.” You get up quickly, but Jungkook follows you to the door.
“Or you could stay.”
He leaves the glass on the table and approaches slowly. You try to focus on his face and not that sinewy body walking towards you.
"And why would I do that?" Your voice comes out as a tired whisper.
Jungkook moves even closer and you shudder as you feel his warm breath blow over your skin. “Because you’re also disturbing my sleep.”
Your breathing is so shallow it's embarrassing. Your heart beats a mile a minute in your chest and you know he's noticed how much you're giving in to his charm, like magnetism. And the wine seems to loosen you up, untying all the tangles that bound your body, taking the tension out of every muscle at once.
And you feel so vulnerable. Your body is craving for his touch because your mind wanders on outrageous thoughts of Jungkook thinking about you while… It's crazy. You've always been so tired, not enough time to have a good night of casual sex, that maybe you could enjoy it. Just once.
You throw your sanity to hell and grab Jungkook's face just to kiss him. His arms envelop you deliciously and the world seems to burn with a burning desire in a blue flame. His lips are greasy and he tastes divine, the wine mixing with his essence so deliciously that you wail into his lips.
He helps you out of your robe and you can see it in the dim light as his pupils dilate at the sight of that stupid skimp nightgown, you're wearing. His hands are agile and large and you gasp as his thumbs graze the sides of your breasts and his body pushes you to the edge of the table. Jungkook slides between your legs, cupping your face and moving his lips down to your chin and then your neck.
“Jungkook…” You roll your eyes as his tongue wriggles across your skin, painfully crawling to your throbbing spot.
“Wanna taste you.” He whispers into your skin. “Wanna feel you so bad, baby. Fuck."
And you don't look out for the fact that your legs are parted so he would do anything to you. You were already sure you were past the shame stage and the alcohol was helping that aspect.
He continues kissing your skin as he squeezes your thigh and lifts the narrow fabric of your nightie to your waist. You hold back a loud sob when he touches you right where you want him. Then, Jungkook groans into your skin. “You're dripping. God."
And that was embarrassing, but what the hell. He shoves the fabric aside and you clasp the cloth of his shirt as his skin makes contact with yours. Jungkook looks at you, your brows are wrinkled and your lips are parted. It's quite a sight. He thrusts his fingers inside you, enjoying how easy it’s to slide inside you.
"Shit." You pull him closer. You spread your legs even wider, feeling your body gain immediate weakness. He touches you so unhurriedly as if he wants to see you suffer and it's nice and painful at the same time. "More."
“Need more?” He reaches until there’s no space left. And as much as he's fascinated by the sight of your pussy taking his fingers so hungrily, it's your face he focuses on. He kisses you clumsily, licks you, and sucks on your lips like he's starved for it. And he was. For you.
Your forehead sticks to his chest, hiding the rest with every eye roll. You drag him tight by his shirt, biting your lip to keep from moaning the loudest you've ever wanted to moan in your life. “Jungkook.” A restrained groan escapes your lips.
"I want to hear from you." He slows down and you look up in disbelief. “Let me hear you.”
“Please…” You plead softly, but he ignores it. Shit. "Harder, please!" Your voice comes out much stronger and he does exactly what you ask.
With his mouth, he trails kisses to your breasts and tugs at the fabric with his teeth until it falls gracefully across your shoulders, exposing your rawest skin. And his tongue devours you. He plays with your breasts, nibbles on your skin, and drives you wild.
You're almost there, your hips undulating quickly to maintain more touch.
You wanted more. You need more.
“Jungkook.” And he seems to understand your darkest desires because he pulls out a condom from God knows where and you're not surprised to see how hard he is, ready to ruin you.
Your feet are on the edge of the table and he's flattening your stomach, making you lie down.
“Shit, you’re so fucking hot.” He caresses his cock with one hand and your clit with the other, in equal rhythms. Your back arches with delectable friction and you think you're going to come right then and there, but he amazes you when he enters you. “So damn good for me.”
"My God!" You cry involuntarily and make your body shake.
His hand is pressing down on your stomach, but he's still touching your sore clit with his thumb, very slowly. He looks for your eyes to see if he can go faster and you don't hesitate to approve immediately.
He moves like a god. Hips crushing your skin, the sound of skin hitting skin. Nimble fingers traveling over your breasts. Your leg going up on his shoulders. Jungkook's long hair is damp and falling over his forehead. The tattooed arm presses you deliciously. It all felt like a lucid dream.
His whines are melodic and it makes you even more turned on knowing that he’s worshiping every moment of it just as you are. He hammers his hips harder, teeth clamping down on his lip until the skin’s whitened. There's a small crease in his forehead and you feel he's as close as you are.
You move your hips against him as much as possible, feeling that intense fire burns every cell, every inch of your body from the inside out.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jungkook cries, squeezing the edge of the table tightly as he lunges faster and faster, barely able to withstand the clench of your pussy on his cock
“I’m gonna…” You swallow hard, your voice cracking.
"I got you. Cum for me.”
And like magic words, your body convulses underneath Jungkook's body. Orgasm hits you hard, arching your back and melting your brain to jell-o. Jungkook lays down, licking your neck and then smooching your lips, making you devour erotic mutters in a hot, slippery kiss. He groans huskily and pleasurably in your ear and you pull his hair once more, just to end the kiss.
You're both sweaty and out of breath. He's still up and inside you. He is everywhere. The hickeys on your skin, the marks on your body, and the electrifying orgasm he just gave you.
“So…” Jungkook lifts his head, brushing the hair past your face. "Wine. You’re no longer tense. Do I still owe you an apology?”
You stare into those doe eyes and a laugh reverberates in your chest.
“I think we're good.”
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bangtanficsforyou · 2 months
Lovefool (JJK)
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Angst, smut, fluff.
Au: established relationship au.
Warnings: swear words here and there, Jungkook is a sweetheart, oral (f), dirty talk, fingering. That should be it.
Summary: You and Jungkook have been in a relationship for a couple of months now but recently, you can't help the anxious thoughts that pop into your mind. Thoughts about his past.
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If you want early access to all of my fics, and access to wips, exclusive sneak peeks and exclusive fics, head over to my patreon. (I've recently opened my patreon and any form of support means a whole lot to me).
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A pair of hands wrapping around you, momentarily stops you from stirring the delicacy you were preparing. But your movements soon resume when you let yourself relax and get comfortable, feeling the warmth of the body that now clings to you.
"I woke up and you were not there." The voice mumbles in a complaining tone, which you find adorable. Although you can't see him, you can just tell he has his eyes closed and has a cute frown on his face.
The thought itself makes you smile.
"I can't help it if you wake up at ten in the morning!" Elbowing him on the stomach, you add salt to your dish.
A whine is what he replies to you with, letting his feelings of displeasure known. "So what? Doesn't give you the right to take my cuddle buddy away."
You gasp as if offended but you make no move to remove his arms around you. "So I'm just a cuddle buddy, now? Here, I was thinking you were serious about me."
"I'm double guessing my choices, right now."
Finally, you swat at his arms which causes him to burst into a fit of giggles but he still refuses to let go of you.
"I'm sorry, sorry!" He chuckles, amusement clear in his voice, a sound which causes a chuckle to escape from your lips as well.
Once his chuckling dies down, he sighs happily and once again, buries his head in your shoulder. "Seriously, though, I wanted to be the one to wake you up and with my head between your legs."
"Jungkook! I'm cooking!" This time you turn around to face him. Stating the obvious, you try to hide how warm your cheeks have gotten in a matter of seconds.
Come to think of it, you probably shouldn't have turned around because if anything that makes it impossible for your red-tinted cheeks to be hidden.
You swat at him once again, this time at his chest. "Let me cook," you grumble and get back to preparing your dish.
Seeing his attempt partially fail, Jungkook huffs. He calls it a partial fail because he notices the way your cheeks have turned red and if he is to go by that, you are affected by the image that must have appeared on your mind as a result of his words. He knows you're close to giving in.
A fact, you both are aware of.
He resumes his previous position and starts peppering your neck with kisses. Occasionally, sucking and biting the soft skin to leave marks.
Unwillingly, a moan escapes your lips and your breathing gets quicker. Fuck, he knows just how to make you aroused. His warm kisses make you shiver and you feel wetness pool in your underwear.
One of his arms that were around you, now move to be under your or rather his t-shirt. He rests his palm on your stomach and gently draws circles on the surface. The gentleness is in stark contrast with his kisses which gradually get rough and desperate.
"Your skin feels so soft." He mumbles, his eyes now focused on the freshly made red mark on your shoulder.
His voice, however, snaps you out of your trance and you feel a wave of anxiety hit you. The same anxiety, that has been stopping you from being intimate with Jungkook.
Lately, you have been worrying if being sexual with Jungkook will make him realise that he's not really into the whole relationship thingy. It's not that you haven't been sexual with him. You have but there's no denying that it's all still very new. What if after a few times of being sexually involved with you, he gets...bored?
You don't doubt his feelings for you. You know they are genuine, well at least for now. You don't know where they will stand in a few weeks. The reason why your brain often thinks along these lines is because of his past.
Jungkook was known for sleeping around. While he wasn't known for just that, it definitely added to his popularity. He was and is still known as the guy who's good at almost everything, be it sports, studies, dancing or singing. The only difference in his reputation is, that now he's no longer known as the guy who woos the ladies with his charms but never settles down.
The reason behind that change of reputation is you.
Although, when you had first met him, you had never thought that you'd end up dating him. Forget about you dating him, you never thought he would ever be willing to be in a relationship. That idea was just absurd.
When you were his project partner (which is how you two first got acquainted with each other), you had overheard him saying to one of his friends that he does not see himself settling down or being in a relationship and does not see the point in it.
Which is why your surprise was obvious and reasonable when he started showing interest in you. At first, you had thought that he was just trying to get into your pants and thus, you had turned down all his attempts. But he was persistent. His persistence had caused you to believe that he's just not used to hearing 'no' and it was simply a matter of his ego.
Over time, your opinions changed. You could sense the genuineness in his efforts, could see how he was different with you, could feel his gradual change from the fuckboy to the boy he always was, underneath all those layers.
After much thinking, you had said 'yes' to going on a date with him.
You don't think you'll ever forget the look he had when you said that. His eyes lit up as if he held every star in the galaxy in them. His bunny smile was full on display and his nose had scrunched up in sheer excitement.
That's when you had an inkling that maybe, you won't regret going on a date with him.
And you didn't.
He turned out to be a completely different guy from what you had imagined him to be.
A few dates later, you found yourself developing feelings for him. From then on, it was only a matter of time for you to be his girlfriend.
As his girlfriend, you get to see an entirely different Jungkook. A Jungkook who makes you feel all the butterflies, makes you feel seen, makes you feel special. You also get to see a Jungkook who's vulnerable, kind, caring and loving.
It's been two months since you said yes to being his girlfriend. But recently, with your feelings intensifying and knowing what it feels like to have him as yours, you find that the fear of losing him has also intensified. Your mind now comes up with scenarios where he loses interest in you.
If that were to happen, you know you won't be mad at him because after all, it's the first time he has been in a relationship. If he feels like it's not for him, who are you to ask him to stay?
You won't be mad but you'd be broken for sure.
Which is why you have been holding yourself back from having sex with him. So that, just in case, your fears turn into reality, you at least get enough time to savour Jungkook.
You're so lost in your thoughts that you don't notice the kisses stopping.
Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook notices the anxious frown on your face, the way your body has gone tense and your breathing pattern has changed. And it's not the kind of fast breathing that usually tells him that you're aroused.
"Baby?" Jungkook asks, concerned. He gently turns you so that you're now facing him. "Are you okay?"
You open your eyes and hope that your anxiety is not visible on your features as you try to smile at him. "I'm okay. Sorry, I'm just not in the mood right now."
Jungkook frowns. He knows that there's some lie to it. He doesn't mean to sound cocky but he knows the effect he has on you. He can tell whether you're turned on or not, just by your breathing pattern. And he knows that you were aroused. Hence, it's not about that. Something must have been worrying you for you to turn all tense all of a sudden. Something that you're trying to hide by saying that it's about you not being in the mood. Something that you're trying to downplay.
"Babe," he rests his palm on your cheek and gently rubs soothing circles. "I don't mean to sound pushy, but is there something bothering you?"
You glance away, wondering if you should talk to him about it or not. You don't want to hurt him by making him think that you doubt his feelings or him. Because you don't. It's just that no one knows, what they will feel in the future and with his given past, your mind thinks the possibility of him getting bored, is more likely to happen.
On the other hand, you know that your relationship is very fresh and new, and you don't want to bring your insecurities into it and ruin it.
Jungkook takes your silence and thinks you're taking his words in the wrong way. "It's not about you not being in the mood and all. You can say 'no' anytime you don't feel like it, you don't even have to explain it. Please, don't get it wrong. I'm not trying to ask you for an explanation for tha-"
"I know, Jungkook." You cut him off because you do know that. He's never made you feel that way. You know how much he respects you and values your words. You don't want to make him think that you don't know that.
He sighs. "It's just that, I feel like there's something more. I have noticed that lost look in your eyes recently and it makes me worry."
The thought of him noticing your lost look, makes you feel bad. You don't want to worry him. Should you just tell him about your worries? Will that be better? Will that make it easier for both of you?
He places his index finger under your chin and makes you look at him. "I know we have only been in a relationship for two months but if you feel comfortable enough to share what is bothering you, then please do. I just want to help."
His earnest eyes, his plea of letting him help and his warm touch make your eyes well up with tears and you bury your face in his chest to hide them. "It's kind of stupid." You mumble.
Jungkook lets you cry on him, not mentioning to you that he knows that you're crying. "Nothing you say is ever stupid to me." He reassures.
You sniffle. "It's just that I'm falling for you hard."
In usual circumstances, Jungkook's heart would skip a beat at your admission. But now, it causes him to feel anxious because he can sense a but coming. He prays to whatever higher power there is, that you're not giving up on him, because he does not know how he will deal with that. He was not used to good things happening to him but he took a chance with you. He wants to be good enough for you and at the same time, he wants to give himself a chance at happiness. 
He does not know where he will be if you give up on him now, just when he was starting to believe that he was deserving of happiness. 
But he keeps his thoughts to himself, letting out a hum as a sign to let you know that he's listening.
"I'm just scared that you'll leave." As soon as the words are out of your mouth, you feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders but that feeling is soon followed by the worry of how he'll react.
Jungkook thinks he could pass out from the relief that hits him. You're not breaking up with him. But then he realises the weight of your words. You're worried that he will leave you. He never thought that you'd ever worry about that, of all things. Why on earth would anyone be dumb enough to leave you? He thought that it was obvious.
Once again, he keeps his thoughts to himself, letting you vent. "What makes you think that I'll leave?"
"It's your first relationship, Jungkook," you whisper. "What if you get bored? What if you realise that this whole relationship thing is not really for you? What happens then?" You allow your fears to be out in the open and feel Jungkook's body stiffen under you.
Jungkook feels a sharp pain in his chest hearing your words. It doesn't make sense to him. To him, it had always made sense for him to feel that way because he's flawed as fuck, but you? You are fucking perfect in his eyes. He's lucky to be given an opportunity to be with you. He thinks you're a goddess who's decided to be kind enough to give him a chance. That part of him finds it ridiculous because he can never fathom the thought of leaving you.
But now, he thinks he should have considered that you too are a human, that you too, have your own set of fears and insecurities.
He pulls away from you, to look into your eyes. "Is that what's been on your mind, lately?" He asks, keeping his tone gentle. 
You nod. "I'm scared that after a few times of, uhm, having sex with me, you'll get bored." 
Jungkook's features morph into that of pure agony and hurt upon hearing your words, which causes you to hate yourself for ever making him feel that way. 
"Is that what you think of me?" Jungkook feels his heart break.
"Please, don't get me wrong. I don't doubt your feelings for me" You shake your head, desperately trying not to hurt him but knowing very well that you already have. "It's just that, as my feelings keep growing, it's as if my brain screams at me to have my guard up so that I don't get hurt and it always brings back your past to remind me why you might end up leaving me."
You take a deep breath, eyes fixed on the ground. "But I also want you to know, if you ever decide that you're not willing to settle down, don't hesitate to tell me and don't feel guilty about that either. I mean, not everyone settles down and there's nothing wrong with it. It's your choice at the end of the day-"
"That'll never happen," Jungkook says, his voice firm. Although your words hurt him, he understands where you're coming from. It's human instinct to be cautious of situations where they can get hurt and your mind has been romanticising one such scenario. Plus, there's no denying that he used to jump from bed to bed. He was known as the guy who only ever did sex and never relationships.
"Listen," just like earlier, he puts his fingers under your chin to make you look at him. He wants you to see that he means the words he's about to say. "Firstly, thank you for communicating with me. I really appreciate it. Secondly, you're not an experiment for me to decide whether I am a relationship kind of a guy or not."
"I knew what I was getting myself into when I asked you to be my girlfriend. Just because I haven't been in a relationship before, doesn't mean, I don't know what it is. I have seen my parents love and care for each other, and I have seen my friends being committed in their relationships. So, it's fair to say that I know what being in a relationship with someone means." He sees your eyes fill with guilt which causes him to briefly stop. He gently places a kiss on your cheek. "Please don't feel guilty, let me finish."
Despite feeling bad, you nod at him.
He takes it as a sign for him to continue. "Thirdly, and most importantly, I am falling in love with you and there's nothing I have been more sure of, in my whole life." 
You feel your breath hitch. You both have openly admitted to each other about your feelings but neither of you has ever used the word 'love' before. Perhaps, both of you felt that it was too soon to use that word. 
But hearing his admission makes you feel free. Free for you to feel the emotions you have been so anxious about. It feels like you can finally let yourself fall without the fear of crashing. Because he's into it just as much you're.
"Another thing," Jungkook says, noticing how your features have relaxed and although your eyes are teary, he knows that these tears aren't the bad kind. "I know I can be stupid sometimes but I'm not stupid enough to let you go and that's what a person would be if they were to let you slip; stupid and indescribably dumb."
Deep down, Jungkook is aware that words aren't enough. He knows that they might give you temporary relief, but somewhere the thoughts of insecurities are recurring as they keep coming back. For you to let go of that thought pattern, he will have to prove his words. Which will, undoubtedly, take time. But then again, it's only with time that one learns to trust wholeheartedly. 
"Just know that I'll prove it to you. I'll never let those fears come true."
Feeling an overwhelming rush of emotions, you hug him tightly and let yourself feel the relief that courses through your veins. 
You feel Jungkook's arms come up to tightly circle around your waist, making you relax against him. And perhaps, for the first time in weeks, you feel yourself relax both mentally and physically. 
"Are you feeling better now?" 
"I am," you hum in affirmation, speaking the truth. However, somewhere at the back of your mind, you know, you need to apologise to him for the hurt your words must have caused him. "I am sorry though. I know my words must have come across in a very wrong way but I-"
"Shhh, you don't have to worry about it. Like I said before, I am glad that you communicated." He gently stops you from explaining any further. Your words had indeed hurt him but if he were to be in your place, there's no denying that he might have felt the same. He does not hold it against you. "Although I won't lie, for a second, I thought that you were breaking up with me." 
Jungkook had said those words innocently if anything in a joking manner but his words cause you to remove yourself from his hold and to look at him. "Why would you think like that?"
Jungkook shakes his head, not wanting to make this about him. "I was just joking around, don't mind it."
You would have believed his words but then you know him. You know how insecure he can get at times when it comes to you and you're glad that he has always communicated to you about his fears. 
"I'm not going to break up with you and I will repeat that as many times as I have to." Wanting for him to feel the same level of comfort that he has provided you with, you stand on your toes and gently kiss his lips. "You're not the only one who's falling in love." 
As you murmur the words against his lips, Jungkook feels warmth spread through his body. The kind of warmth that removes the cold fears from his heart. Especially, hearing that you're falling in love with him, makes him want to hold you and never let go, simply because he never thought that someone would love him. Even though he knows that you're not in love with him yet, to know that you think he's worthy of it, means the world to him.
He will do everything he can to prove to you as well as to himself, that he's worthy of love. 
For the time being, he settles for expressing his emotions through the kiss. 
He kisses you gently but with passion. Occasionally, nibbling on your lower lip, he enjoys the soft sigh that escapes your mouth, every time he does that. Your hands come up to play with his hair and you gently tug them, making him groan into your mouth. The sound is enough for you to kiss him more vigorously. You let your tongue come in contact with his lips, silently asking for him to let you in. And he does. From then on, its tongues dancing and teeth clashing with each other.
When you both separate from each other, your eyes remain on his lips. The sight of his pink lips being swollen and glistening with a mix of both of your saliva makes it far too difficult for you to look away. 
His thumb coming to play with your bottom lip is what causes your eyes to drift from his lips to his eyes. It's then that you notice the want in them, a replica of the look you're sure, your eyes hold. Your gaze then moves towards his messy hair and boy does it make you imagine things.
Things like would his hair have looked the same had he woken you up the way, he claims he wanted to. Or would it have been messier?  
The thought makes you press your thighs together and you kiss him again, this time with a different kind of vigour. 
Jungkook is quick to understand your intentions, which is why after kissing you for some time, he pulls back. "Babe, you don't have to if you don't want to."
"I want to," you confirm, breathlessly. It's true. Even when you would pull away, you would still want him. It was only your fears coming in the way but now with your nerves gone, nothing is stopping you. 
Jungkook looks into your eyes to be certain that you're sure. When he finds no traces of doubt or fear but just sheer lust, his own eyes darken. 
"Yeah? You want me to make you feel good?" He asks rhetorically. Seeing you nod, he gently kisses the expanse of your neck, feeling you shiver underneath his touch. "Get on the kitchen counter." 
"Counter?" You ask to make sure that you didn't hear it wrong.
Fuck, you did not hear it wrong. 
Gulping, you let your feet carry you to the kitchen counter with your mouth on his. He helps you sit on the slab and softly moans when your hips make contact with his aching-hard length. 
"Fuck, baby you're so hard." Your hand comes to rest on his bulge and you palm him through his trousers, knowing very well that he's not wearing boxers. The sensation of the wet patch that greets you, makes you feel eager to get a taste of him.
Jungkook, however, seems to have different plans as he takes a shuddering breath before removing your hands from his bulge. "We can get to that later. First, I want to eat you out."
You want to object because you know it can't be comfortable for him to be that aroused and not do anything about it but then you notice the determination on his face and decide otherwise. He looks like a man on a mission and his current mission seems to be to please you. It's kind of cute with that adorable frown on his face. You'd have giggled had it not been for him taking a seat on one of the kitchen stools and positioning himself between your legs.
You are simply wearing his t-shirt and a black lace panty, which he thinks makes his job easier. He places his warm palm on your thighs and gently parts your legs. The sight that greets him, has him cursing under his breath. There's a dark patch on your dark piece of cloth, which has his dick twitching in his trousers.
He kisses the inside of your thighs and as he inches closer to your sex, the smell of your arousal greets his nostrils. "You must be so wet." 
You moan at his words, knowing very well that you, indeed, are incredibly wet.
Jungkook lets his nose graze on your clothed heat and his mouth waters at the thought of finally getting to have a taste of you. His tongue comes out to gently lap at the wet spot, making it even darker. 
A whine of complaint escapes your lips at his ministrations. "Don't tease me."
From where he has his mouth attached, he looks up to lock eyes with you. "You don't want me to tease you?" You vigorously shake your head. "Then what do you want me to do?"
"Eat me out." You say, not beating around the bush at all. From the few times that you have been intimate with Jungkook, you know by now that he enjoys and relishes it when you don't hold back and openly admit what you want him to do.
The effect of your words on Jungkook is visible as he quickly gets into action and gets rid of your underwear, leaving your nether regions exposed. 
His thumbs come up to part your lips and you shiver as the cold air hits you. "Fuck, look at that pussy, just as wet as I imagined it to be."
You're about to let out another whine as your patience starts wearing thin but you never get the chance to do so as Jungkook attaches his lips to your clit and begins sucking harshly. The whine that was stuck in your throat, comes out as a moan, instead.
He hums against your cunt, and taps your thigh as a sign for you to look at him while he eats you out. Doing as he wants, you lock eyes with him and the sight that greets you, has you gushing. His eyes look drunk in pleasure as if he's the one who's on the receiving end. The way he sits there with his mouth between your legs as if he is having the time of his life makes you grab his head and hold him there. A move which has Jungkook groaning, sending shivers through your whole body.
"You like this?" He asks, detaching briefly but then he quickly lets his tongue tease your hole. 
"Yes, fuck I love this." You state the obvious.
"Do you want me to tongue fuck you?" He knows very well what the answer to his question is.
"Yes, please." You breathily respond.
"Hmm, thought so. Your hole is clenching around nothing." He's aware you enjoy dirty talk just as much as he does. Your liking towards the crass words is only proved when your hole clenches once again, hard. 
As his tongue penetrates you, you moan loudly and arch your back at the sensation that shoots through your body. Still holding the back of his head, you tug on his hair strands, something you know he enjoys. "Fuck, don't stop. This feels so good."
Although he loves it when you watch him eating you out, the sight of your arched back is something he enjoys equally. He feels his cock leak beads of precum in agreement. His arousal only causes him to quicken his actions and he gets rougher with his tongue. 
"Ah, fuck, Jungkook." You remove one of your hands from his hair and start squeezing your boobs as if your life depends on it.
"Yes, baby play with your tits." He growls and puts his mouth back on your clit. This time around, two of his fingers curl inside your pussy. 
You whimper as you feel his fingers reach the spot that always has you seeing stars. You feel your stomach tightening at his fast and repeated motions, knowing very well that you're close to your edge.
"Jungkook, please don't stop," you beg, desperate to have your release. "I'm about to cum." 
He growls once again and starts flicking your clit with his tongue at a very fast pace. That added with the feeling of his fingers has you clenching and gripping his fingers like a vice.
Your orgasm builds and then it hits you like a tidal wave. As your back arches once more, you cry and close your thighs around his head. That, however, doesn't stop Jungkook from giving a few more licks, this time around a little gentler. It's only when you whine due to overstimulation that he removes his mouth from you.
Your chest heaves as he stands and gently kisses you. The kiss is soft and languid, enabling you to taste yourself on him.
When the two of you part, you look at Jungkook who has a soft smile on his face as if he's glad to have given you the pleasure, the afterglow of which, you're basking in. 
"That was amazing," you giggle, wiping at the corner of his lips where some of your arousal remains.
"Did you expect any less?" A smug look appears on his face.
You shake your head and give him a peck on his lips. "Don't get too ahead of yourself, now."
"I'm not getting too ahead-" he mocks your tone, "-I just know I'm great at giving head." Then, his eyes light up the way it often does. "Hey, that's like wordplay! Too ahead and a head." 
You roll your eyes with a smile. "That's not even funny."
"It is funny though." He grumbles cutely. 
Your heart coos at the sight of his pink lips protruding into a pout. Leaning closer, you place kisses all over his face until his pout is gone and is replaced with a big smile. 
"Is that your way of agreeing with me?" His big doe eyes gleam with playfulness.
"Nah, that's just my way of stopping you from pouting like a baby," you boop his nose and giggle at the way his big nose scrunches up. He's far too adorable for his own good. 
"Your baby," he boops your nose back, his heart feeling full and warm at the sound of your giggles.
In this light moment, you feel your brain quip at you about how what Jungkook said are probably just words and something which will lose meaning with time. This time, instead of giving into it and surrendering to that thought, you realise that it's just a part of you that's trying to protect you. Instead of feeling scared and guilty, for feeling that way, you acknowledge that voice inside your head as if thanking it for trying to protect you. It's only then, that you feel as if you're not powerless against that voice. 
Having found that place where your mind is no longer scaring you, you know you choose to trust Jungkook and his words. Because that's what love is about, choosing someone, choosing to trust in them. You'll let him prove his words to you. You will let yourself fall in love with Jungkook. You'll let that love consume you. And you'll put faith in Jungkook's love that it will erase all your worries and doubts. 
Instead of giving him a verbal response to his previous statement, you loop your arms around his neck and kiss him once again. This kiss is kind of silly, with you two smiling big like fools. But it's also with this kiss, that you feel this reassurance, that the two of you will be okay. 
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ressjeon · 7 months
game over | jjk (m)
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🎮 pairing: jungkook x reader
🎮 summary: you might not be a gamer but that won't stop your competitive side from wanting to defeat your boyfriend in this new game that you're both currently obsessing with. it's just a matter of time until one of you gives up but Jungkook can’t help wondering if it will be you or him.
🎮 rating: 18+
🎮 genre/au: streamer/gamer!au, established relationship, fluff, smut (pwp?)
🎮 word count: 5k
🎮 warnings/content: edging/orgasm control, masturbation, praise kink, hair pulling, semi-clothed sex?, fellatio, slight rimming, unprotected sex, creampie, voyeurism (through hearing), use of lube (jk’s big that’s why), switch dynamics 
a/n: surprise ig lmao i didn’t mean for it to be jaykay but @knjsnoona​ sent me something months ago and that became an inspo for this 💀. thank you to my big sissy @hisunshiine​ for this cute banner (where i pestered her a lot 🤣). this is for the Bangtan DLC: A Streamer BTS Collab hosted by the sweetest @joonscypher​ & @kookskingdom​ 💗
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― masterlist — navigation 
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You look so beautiful from where he is, face full of concentration on the game in front of you that he can’t help but coo at how cute you are.
Jungkook’s currently preparing snacks for both of you since he just finished his streaming. It’s been hours since he did and you’ve been hounding him to turn over the console to you so he finally let you take over. It’s also because you keep insisting that he should give you more time with the console seeing as you’re at a disadvantage because you’re not a gamer like him.
“i really have no talent in this” you huff in frustration but it just made him smile.
He’s still quite touched that you’re trying to engage yourself in one of his hobbies as a way for you to get to know him better and deepen your relationship with him. The same scrunch on your eyebrows is still on like before and Jungkook grins as he comes nearer to you, placing the bowl of snacks on the table but you never even spared it a glance.
“baby, come eat”
“stop distracting me!”
Jungkook just chuckles as he sits beside you and you wonder what he's planning next. You two have been on this competitive streak on who can win the most rounds while betting on who’ll give in first. Whoever loses will not only pay for all the dates but will also do all the chores so that's why you've been doing your best to compete against your skilled boyfriend.
When Jungkook first met you, he didn't think that you’d have a competitive side when it comes to gaming because you have never been interested in it. He didn’t mind it at all because you have a lot of other hobbies that occupy a lot of your time too. But after you started dating, you soon expressed interest in his hobby, trying your best to learn it despite telling Jungkook how hard it is.
It isn't that you're lazy to do all the chores or you lack money to pay for all the dates. You're more than happy to do those things for Jungkook because you love him and you both divide all the housework and fees every time. You care more about your gaming skills because you’re still not confident with it, sure you’ve been practicing but unlike Jungkook who’s very gifted in everything that he does, you're a bit of the opposite.
This is why now you’ve been putting all your focus on the screen in front of you. No distractions so far but Jungkook’s half-naked body. You won't falter though even when he’s now using your other weakness aside from him.
You're a bit hungry from trying to interrupt him earlier but you can’t just leave this ongoing match. The food combo with his bare chest is already straying your thoughts away from the game and Jungkook currently acts like you didn’t tease the shit out of him earlier, that's why you’ve been very suspicious. He’s quite clever on ways to get back at you which usually results in you not realizing what’s happening until he already tricked you into doing whatever he planned.
This whole thing started when Jungkook started paying less attention to you than usual. You’ve always supported him with his hobby especially since he’s a streamer as well, with constant online schedules where he’s barely off from his PC and when the times that he is, he’s on-call planning gaming strategies with his close friends who are in the same league as him.
You let him be most of the time since he still gives you time when he can. Though sometimes, it just annoys you that he still chooses to play when you wanna go out to have outdoor dates with him. So then you decide to do the same, ignoring him when he tries to spend time with you, giving him the excuse that you need to finish the book you’re reading because the next instalment is coming up.
Jungkook then suggested doing this challenge to solve this growing distance between the two of you. He noticed when you started acting differently towards him and he’s been feeling scared that it’ll only get worse which is why he’s giving you more attention in the scope of this competition between the two of you. He hopes that this bonding will fix this situation, a small one, yes, but he doesn’t care how dramatic he’s been.
“...shit..” a surprising moan comes out from you when you flick your swollen bud, startling yourself at how aroused you are already when you're supposed to seduce Jungkook while he’s currently on another match with his friends.
It isn't one of the sounds that you intentionally make to distract him, hoping that he’ll turn his head towards you when you moan his name. It’s a genuine one from you trying to relieve yourself when your boyfriend's too busy to do so.
Here you are currently lying on your back on Jungkook's bed, both of your legs propped up on your chest though now you're struggling to balance them when they’re starting to cramp. You don’t change your position though, closing your eyes while you continue pumping your fingers inside your walls, alternating from scissoring them and going deeper to find that sweet spot but your fingers are just different from the long and thick ones that Jungkook has.
"fuck baby..so swollen.. can see how wet it is from here”
Your eyes open after hearing his slurred words, turning your head to the side to catch him finally looking in your direction from his gaming chair. His eyes are hooded, looking hungrily at your folds that you’re starting to question if you’ve only been hearing things earlier because of the pleasure. Your plan is to only turn him on with your moans but your random position somehow accidentally gave him a very delicious view of your cunt.
“want some?” you breathlessly ask him, fingers collecting your wetness before extending your arm at him as an invitation. Your playful tone and the little quirk that appeared on your lips snap him out of his trance, adjusting himself as he sits up to compose himself.
“nice try babe” Jungkook retracts with a chuckle, shaking his head while poking the insides of his cheek, a smirk plastered on his lips as he faces back to his computer screen. You're sneaky but it's hard for Jungkook to resist you, he's already hard from hearing you moan his name which didn't go unnoticed by his teammates.
You huff in return, initially a little annoyed at him resisting you when you're basically naked while touching yourself on his bed. The smug smile on his face reminds you that you're still in this bet and you're annoyed how you almost forgot about it.
Fine, you’ll try another way.
One where he’ll surely regret putting you in this misery.
That may be dramatic but your mind’s only focused on your next task as you approach him in his gaming chair. You’re only wearing Jungkook’s button-up shirt and nothing else, barely wearing anything actually since this game between you started. You both have tried many ways to distract one another, mainly through seducing one another but no one has given up yet.
And you’re about to change that.
Jungkook’s attention shifts from his screen towards you who’s now kneeling in front of him. You’re looking at him mischievously, eyes lingering at his hard on before looking back at his anticipated face.
Fuck. He’s been reminding himself to never forget this damn bet that now he’s starting to regret suggesting before. He can never resist you and he’s been trying his best to not give in even if all he wants to do is fuck your brains out for being so sexy like this.
You purr while running your hands on his thick thighs that have your essence still between your fingers and he flinches when you rub them. A smile appears on your lips when his eyes remain on your fingers before turning back to the screen, now unfocused. He doesn’t answer you still and so you start palming his already hardening bulge, coaxing a grunt from him which he had to cover up when one of his teammates asks.
Jungkook’s still not looking at you, he can’t though he should’ve stopped the moment your ministrations are starting to affect him. He’s not sure if you’re still annoyed at him for ignoring you but he didn’t answer earlier because he’s skeptical that his friends will hear him moaning out loud just in case you do something. He shouldn't have done that because now you’re gripping his hard length already, it’s been aching since he heard your delicious moans earlier.
That’s why he’s not stopping you when you begin tugging at the waistband of his sweats, cursing at himself for not wearing anything under which causes the grin on your face to widen. His cock almost slaps your face after you pull down his sweats, giggling when he tries to lift his hips up to remove it fully but you insist on keeping it on him halfway.
You hum, wrapping your hands around his twitching length while observing his labouring breaths before you start pumping him slowly. He takes a sharp inhale when your thumb circles his leaking tip, his hips bucking into your hand which makes you laugh at his eagerness. You were going to tease him further, waiting for him to beg or even just a whimper but you beat him to it when you lower your head down and finally wrap your mouth around his cock.
A small groan comes out from him, throwing his head back as he closes his eyes.
“don’t turn off your mic kookie” you tut when you catch what he’s about to do.
Jungkook whispers out a “fuck” before his hand leaves the switch from his headset, bringing it back to the keyboard to continue his game. You’re surprised that he followed your instructions but it could just be because of his desperation to get off. Well, he’s been a good boy so far but you couldn’t just let him get away from ignoring you for so long..
You swallow him deeper until his tip reaches the back of your throat, making him moan out loud to the mic. That makes you smile around his cock after coming back up because his friends surely know what he's in right now. His other hand comes down before he pulls it back when you pinch his thigh, a warning for him to not touch you yet.
“yeah my girl’s blowing me rn, fuck off”
Jungkook responds without shame, proud even so you continue bobbing your head up and down, your tongue keeps swirling on the underside of his dick when you hear the commotion on the other side of his mic after his moans become louder. Hearing his friends’ comments about how lucky he is to have you warms your heart and it almost makes you forget about your plan for him.
“j-just focus on the game, i've been doing my part!" he pleads to his teammates desperately. "i can’t lose this one—shit”
One of your hands cups his tightening balls and Jungkook swears that he could cum right then. He's been itching to grasp your head or touch you anywhere but your piercing eyes looking straight at him are stopping him from doing so. He knows that look and judging with the way your touches have been rougher on him, you're not gonna let him cum anytime soon.
“breathe baby”
You chuckle at Jungkook's current state, noticing how tense he's been since you started playing with him. It's so adorable seeing him trying his best to not cum while playing the game when you've edged him for a while now. He's all sweaty from holding himself to not give up and beg, not even caring that his friends are hearing all of his moans and yours too.
“babe—y/n..please” he takes a deep breath with each word, mouthing the last one when he feels himself nearing the edge for the nth time. Jungkook lost count on how many times you stopped him from cumming, his sole focus is to try and win this round. You’re definitely not making this easier but there's no way he'll lose from this early on, not even because of you.
But his chances are gone now that you’ve unbuttoned the shirt that you're wearing, exposing your bare chest to his hungry eyes. Your nipples are perked already and all he wants right now is to squeeze those inviting breasts of yours.
You hear the final click from Jungkook's mouse and he is smiling in relief that his team won this round before throwing his head back as he grips the sidearms of his gaming chair.
He's almost there..fuckfuck but suddenly your mouth and hands leave him, prompting him to whine pathetically, hips bucking up in the air with the lost sensation. He won the game but you still didn't let him cum. No reward from you unlike he expected so now he knows he really fucked up ignoring you earlier.
“well done kookie and congrats boys”
You smirk on Jungkook’s mic while you caress his face, pushing away his hair that's sticking into his forehead, ignoring his needy eyes trying to catch yours until he releases a whimper.
Taehyung: what the fuck you little shit!
Jimin: damn that was so hot..
“yeah, yeah i'm the luckiest. i gotta go”
Jungkook immediately turns off the PC before turning to you but you're faster than him as you walk away from his gaming area, pulling off what you're wearing completely. Your fully naked body taunts him as you walk towards your own bedroom.
“baby, you're really going to leave me with blue balls?”
He whines, calling out to you desperately but you ignore him. You almost gave in earlier when he did those puppy eyes again that's why you blasted instantly. You usually can resist him but needy Jungkook is different. That side of him makes you weak that all you can think of is to do whatever he asks so that's why you're staying away from him for now.
Jungkook had been trying to corner you since you left him but you’ve been very good at avoiding him at all cost. Focusing on the matches helped but after many rounds, his crotch is aching more and more. So he relieved himself a little, intentionally touching his cock outside your room so you can clearly hear him begging for you but you didn't even budge. He’s hoping that you’d come out and punish him at least but you didn’t even say anything from behind the door.
He did everything already, deciding on luring you with your favourite food instead but you still won't come out.
But he’s going to make you. He’s always loved a challenge and you’re aware of that so you should be ready.
You’ve succeeded in avoiding Jungkook by staying in your own room for the majority of yesterday but today you have to go out and restock your mini-fridge. The both of you could’ve shared a room since you’re together anyways but the two of you decided to have individual rooms since you both have many hobbies and needed more space. Jungkook has his gaming, art and sports paraphernalia with the several teams he’s in while you have the same amount of things from your music equipment plus your room’s kind of like a mini dance studio too since you’ve installed glass mirrors on one side of the wall.
Taking a bath on your own seems weird because you’re so used to Jungkook joining you. Though it takes too long for you both to finish every shower session for obvious reasons, you enjoy his company and you lowkey miss it a bit today, almost calling him in earlier to join you. Screw this silly bet but you’ve come this far and still won’t lose to him. And besides, you’re starting to enjoy gaming, perhaps you’ll finally join him in his hobby.
You were almost done with your morning routine and you just finished shaving your crotch area in preparation for the beach day you planned with the girls this weekend when you hear the sound of another match starting on the screen.
the fuck!
Running towards the edge of your bed, you grab your gaming console immediately, ignoring that you’re only wearing a thin sports bra as you're instantly on your stomach to continue the game that you almost missed. There's only one culprit here and you aren't sure how he managed to get in quietly to sabotage your tournament without you hearing him. He couldn’t possibly use the spare key just for this…right?
Jungkook instantly leaves your room as soon as he starts the game on your screen, giddy at how your reaction is going to be. He was trying to contain his laugh but couldn't stop them after hearing you scream in frustration. Jungkook meant for you to miss it not only because of the bet but because he’s getting a bit worried about how you're seriously taking this competition between you two. He barely sees you around the house anymore even though you both have never left since this whole thing started.
You both were very prepared for it, shopping for groceries and other necessities beforehand and even informing your friends that you’ll be doing something important this week. This surprised Jungkook because you actually cancelled going out with your friends which you never do unless it’s necessary. So this is actually a big deal to you just like it is to him. 
Jungkook opened the door expecting to see you in your annoyed face, focusing on the screen to maintain your streak. He plans to tease how you’re gonna finally lose against him.
But the sight that welcomed him made him stop in his tracks.
You're half-naked on your bed. Only in your pastel criss crossed sports bra and he can clearly see your juicy ass from where he’s standing. Like he's being hypnotized by your body, he starts walking closer to you until he reaches the edge of the bed.
You feel the mattress dip from someone sitting behind you yet you never acknowledge Jungkook. You're still pissed at him for practically cheating on this bet. The agreement was to only distract each other, not something like where you could've potentially lost the tournament if you weren't fast enough.
He starts but you brush him aside. You didn't even mean to play half-naked but you had no other choice because you had no time to put on the rest of your clothes. It’s getting warmer already so you've put all your t-shirts and long sleeves that you could've worn in the laundry. You only have your summer clothes so the timing is working in Jungkook’s favour like it always is.
You’re only left with your sports bra because you were thinking of doing small exercises outside as a break before resuming the game. It isn’t healthy that you’ve been spending most of your time playing on-screen indoors but Jungkook just has to cut your plans short for today.
“so sexy..” he whispers mindlessly, hands starting to roam around the globes of your ass.
You’ve been trying to ignore how his touches are affecting you, focusing solely on the game on the screen and you’re still annoyed at him. The problem is, it’s been 2 days since the last time you fucked each other and you’ve been needing a proper orgasm that only Jungkook can give.
His face comes nearer to your body, hovering over you that you suddenly feel his breath on your bare skin. Jungkook’s hands continue to caress your ass cheeks, admiring your curves in his hands. You haven’t said a word yet but your labouring breaths are giving him a sign that you’re getting riled up.
After a while of his constant teasing, you’re getting impatient for him to do something but you don’t want to be obvious. You can’t just give him a reason to tease you more but Jungkook can read already read you like an open book.
“gonna give up baby?” you taunt him, in hopes of getting what you want but he only hums, both hands sliding up your body, cupping both of your breasts firmly through your bra.
Jungkook continues nosing your skin, breathing in the scent of the soap that he bought for you. It’s his favourite and it became yours too after the first time you used it. He traces your entire body softly and you start to quiver, unconsciously leaning to Jungkook and he smirks against your skin.
“i love your ass..”
You feel him move back and then you hear a bottle cap opening so you wiggle your ass out, eager for him to just do anything at this point. You’re being needy now but before you can even look back at him for a bit, Jungkook’s other hand suddenly grips your hips to steady your moving body.
“but i love your pussy more” he licks a stripe on your newly shaved cunt, lingering on your clit a little to suck it while his hands are busy on something else. It must be the lube that you have on your nightstand because you both have been using it for quickies. You do get wet fast but your boyfriend’s big so foreplay takes a bit longer, that’s why sex has been many times better with the lube.
“Kook..this isn’t p-part of the rules-ohh” a loud moan leaves your mouth when he traces his lube-coated fingers around your outer folds, causing you to hiss at the cold and sticky sensation. Jungkook starts mouthing both of your asscheeks while he spreads his fingers around your cunt until he grazes your swollen clit and starts rubbing it.
What he does next makes your breath hitch, almost missing a hit on your opponent.
Jungkook’s mouth reaches your ass, his tongue dragging from your wet folds to your puckered hole. He prods on it a few times, your hips jerking back to him in response. You whine for him to continue but he chuckles as his mouth leaves you, still teasing by not putting his fingers inside your pussy.
“jungkook..” you whine once again, pushing your ass back to him but he grips your hips tightly for you to stay still. “next time...” he murmurs, pecking your asscheeks and you huff because he’s still teasing.
The game’s almost halfway but you’re torn on where to put your attention. Jungkook knows your body like the back of his hands with how long the both of you have been dating so it’s no surprise when he knows just how to make you squirm under his touch. 
"my baby's getting better at this..i'm proud of you"
Jungkook truly is, you didn’t miss any shot and you’ve been hitting your opponents with precision despite his distractions so now he’s going to show you how proud he is.
"time for your reward babe"
He brings down his sweats and strokes his hard dick with the hand that was fondling your cunt, his wet fingers coated by the lube and your essence making him gasp as he guides his swollen tip to your soaked entrance before he pushes in.
“ohmyfuckk” you moan loudly at the intrusion, his cock stretching you out deliciously that your walls are clenching erratically around him. Jungkook loves doing this to you because he knows you love the feeling of it, being full without his fingers preparing you. He used to hesitate in your early months of dating, the caring person he is, always making sure that you're comfortable at all times.
A deep thrust brings you back currently as Jungkook reaches to the hilt, hips stopping for a moment to relish the familiar feeling of your tightness around him. He tosses his head back while caressing your hips lovingly before he looks down at your arching back.
“see? i didn’t need to prep you love, your pussy's so used to my dick anyways” you hate how he manages to sound romantic despite his filthy words but it gets you going every single time.
“..fuck..” you groan as Jungkook starts moving his hips, slowly at first and the loud squelches echoing around the room are mixing with the sounds from the TV. He loves it, loves hearing how wet you get for him, his beautiful girlfriend acing his hobby at the moment.
One of Jungkook’s hands grabs your criss-cross straps, using them as leverage as he increases the speed of his hips. Your body’s been bouncing back and forth as he guides you to meet his thrusts. You’re grateful as this supports your body because you’ve been slowly going delirious despite doing your best to focus on the game. You take a deep breath and are going back on track when Jungkook delivers a sharp thrust, hitting that spot that makes your vision hazy with all the pleasure you’re already in.
“p-please..shit..” Jungkook smiles after hearing your needy whine, his own moans not missing to match yours. Fuck, since he feels you tightening around him, he keeps hitting the same spot until your body seems to decline on the bed, your head dropping with your moans getting louder.
Jungkook looks up at the screen and notices how you’re losing focus so he grabs a handful of your hair and pulls them up when you almost get hit by your opponent.
You shriek at the slight pain on your scalp but you do your best to nod, gripping the controller hard and moving your fingers back as you concentrate on the game once again.
"there, good girl, the best baby" his praise made you clamp around him tighter and Jungkook's lips quirk, knowing very well how much you love hearing him compliment you like this.
It isn't long until you're nearing your end, your legs shaking at the intensity of Jungkook's thrust. You know he's close too, his cock twitching inside you so you start pushing back to meet his thrusts. His other hand snakes between your legs, rubbing your swollen bud as his pace begins to turn sloppy.
Your fingers move frantically, hitting the last member of your rival team in time for the coil breaking in your lower abdomen, closing your eyes shut after seeing the “victory” displayed on the TV screen.
“yesss–ugh” you scream as you reach your climax, dragging your words and slurring more curses as you ride out your high, your upper body flopping to the bed with your one hand dangling on the bed, trying to grip the console to prevent it from dropping to the floor.
“fuck..fuck..baby” Jungkook groans as he reaches his, both hands leaving their previous spot to grip your hips tightly. He sounds so fucking hot, his deep and raspy voice adding to his hurried pounding is making your mind hazier.
“hmm..so good” you moan wantonly, intense pleasure coursing through your whole body. You're helping your boyfriend in riding out his orgasm by moaning more for him, Jungkook does love it when you can't keep quiet while he's fucking you.
“game over y/n” he exclaims breathlessly, his hips rolling slowly while still spilling himself inside you. 
“and i..won” you grin in daze at the warm feeling of his cum, body still quivering even post orgasm as you turn on your lovely boyfriend's amused face.
“congrats babe” Jungkook smiles while biting his lower lip, his eyes still blown out as they meet your playful ones. He turns your body over to face him before leaning closer as he situates his body between your legs without pulling out.
“but you still lost” you tease, running out of breath. The double meaning made you smile in satisfaction. Finally, this bet between you is done and you even won against your skilled gamer boyfriend? now that’s something you can brag about to your girls at your meetup.
“don't care, i can't resist you”
“i know”
“ride me on my next stream?” he pouts, his eyes cutely begging at you.
“you sure you can handle it?” you bit your lip, intentionally clenching around his cock and he hisses.
“doesn't matter since i’ll have your pussy either way..mhmm i love you” Jungkook keeps peppering you with kisses before slowly pulling out, his eyes fixing on the cum oozing out from your sensitive cunt. 
“mhm love y’too..i’m sore” you whine, your eyes slowly dropping paired with a yawn after. You’re truly exhausted with the whole gaming ordeal and the mind-blowing, satisfying sex with your boyfriend. You feel sore everywhere, especially your arms and shoulders that are aching from his brutal fucking but you loved it. Sex has been always great but they've been quick these days because of how occupied the both of you are.
Jungkook finds how adorable you look with how you're suddenly getting sleepy. It’s still endearing to him how you usually get sleepy after showering because it’s the opposite for him. You truly don’t know why you do get sleepy, you just feel light and relaxed that it dozes you off. Add that Jungkook always tires you while showering, you just wanna lay down and sleep. Naps after a shower are the best ones, the only ones that make you feel fully rested after waking up.
“i didn't really care if you win you know” he admits fondly, scrunching his nose as he nuzzles your neck.
“is that so?” you respond sleepily, a small smile appearing on your pretty lips. “yeah, I love spoiling you”, he mumbles against your sweaty skin.
You mutter something of a “love you” as a response, the hand running through his hair is slowing down, letting Jungkook know that you’re on a brink of sleep.
“go to sleep now, we’ll have a picnic date later when you wake up” he smiles affectionately before kissing you on the cheek and you hum delightedly, closing your eyes for a deep slumber.
Jungkook looks at your sleeping figure before closing the door quietly, texting his friends proudly that you won the bet between you both. All he gets as replies are playful threats of stealing you from him and he scoffs, teasing his friends at the possibility of them watching you play instead.
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e/n: it’s been years since i’ve actually played on PC so that’s why i didn’t specify any game on this one nor did i include any technicalities. also this genre’s not my forte so sowy if it didn’t live up to your taste 😬
3K notes · View notes
awrkive · 4 months
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jungkook and you have been keeping a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.
PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader
GENRE r18+ (explicit smut, fluff, light angst)
WARNINGS/MISC fwb!au, college!au, basketball player!jk, kinda secret relationship(?)!au, nerdy!oc but not really she’s just very school-oriented, jk is tatted up here and is very yummy especially in his jersey sighs, hes also rich lol, school journalist!reader, jk calls oc a lot of petnames, basketball stuff im not sure are accurate t-t. multiple sex scenes honestly idek where all of these came from but they include: unprotected sex (this is a fanfiction everything tends to be crazy around these areas don’t do it irl pls omg lol), penetrative sex, creampie, cumplay, car sex, jk’s silver chain hehe, slight cockwarming, oral sex (f and m receiving), jk wears those curvy headbands thing (they look so cute on guys in fact he wore it once), shower sex. if there is anything i left out, pls tell me so that i can add them here. jungkooks visual is jungkook at jitb listening party . 
NOTES so its out!!!! i worked on this for a month and im so excited to share this with u guys finally t-t i posted a separate page for the taglist bcs there were a lot. tell me if they dont work!! also, please pleasssseee send me guys your feedbacks after reading it even a keyboard smash goes a long way anyway ill shut up now i hope you guys enjoy this monster!! last note, pls be gentle with my cn&bl babies <33
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The late March weather had been cold these days, so when Jungkook – in his real fuckboy fashion – texted you that his nose could use a heater and he could offer to warm you up in return, you agreed for him to come over even though you pretended to be disgusted by his offer. Just for the theatrics.
"Hurry,” you whimper as he manhandles you in getting you off his lap, making you bounce on the mattress.
Just like that, the warmth from being pressed against his body is gone, exchanged by the cold immediately spreading goosebumps through your skin as Jungkook makes quick work of spreading your legs, eliciting a bit of an uncomfortable feeling from you as you feel your cum leaking out.
Jungkook swipes a hand through his sweaty hairline as he kneels inside your spread legs, and you have to fight a moan at the sight. You still feel a little delirious from when he made you cum the second time just a minute ago, still lightheaded from the high of it. But you can’t deny that he always looks so good in all his natural, naked form; chest heaving, toned stomach coated in sheer sweat, his biceps – especially the tatted one – bulging as he reaches for your hips to pull you down so he could enter you once again.
It tears a cry from your vocal chords, him thrusting in and out of your wet pussy, his pace frantic and inconsistent, a telltale sign of his impending orgasm. His grunts, together with your pathetic little moans at the feel of his cock touching every part of your pussy filled the room.
“Fuck, I’m close,” he groans, leaning down, and as a result, reaching deeper into you, mouth reaching for your breast to your mouth. The kiss is a sloppy act of both of you just breathing in each other’s mouths, as Jungkook drills your pussy faster, his fingers tightening around your waist. A particular hard thrust got you drawing out a loud mewl and that’s what tips Jungkook over the edge. “F-fuck – shit, where do I cum baby? Tell me, tell me.”
“Inside, Kook. Please cum inside me,”
He lets out a sharp breath and after a few more erratic strokes, you feel his hot release painting your inner walls.
“Shit,” Jungkook hissed as he fell on top of you. You can feel the way he’s heaving as his skin touches yours, but you let yourself relax on the mattress, breathing shallow breaths.
Since he’s way more athletic than you, he got over it soon and you feel him picking himself up to hover over you, beginning to plant kisses all over your chest and the mole in between them, your nipples, your shoulders, your collarbones.
“Kook,” you call softly, your limp hand patting his ass to get his attention. He always gets so preoccupied with kissing your body after sex.
Jungkook hums, but he looks at you. “Yeah?”
You grunt. “I just washed my sheets two days ago and I don’t want cum stains on them.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he leans down, and even though you were complaining just now, you let out quite a joyful hum when he kisses you. “Let me see first.”
You don’t need to ask what he’s referring to.
Pushing your body back up, Jungkook takes it upon himself to get his body off of you to watch as you slide two fingers over your pussy, spreading the lips so he can see the combination of your and his cum all over it.
“You need to hurry, Nayeon is coming home in a few minutes.”
He doesn’t even try to look like he’s concerned about the urgency of that matter, just hums absentmindedly and gets his own finger to run over your exposed heat. You shiver at the contrast of the hot feeling of your pussy and the contrasting cold feeling of his finger, but it soon turns into pleasure when he gathers your cum and pushes it back into you.
“Are you going to keep it in for me?” He whispers, a thumb now caressing your hip.
Jungkook looks back up at you, a sly grin spreading on his lips. “On what?”
“If you’re going to be good and say please when you want something.” You grin at him, feeling pretty proud of yourself for catching him off guard. It doesn’t last long very much though as he smirks, but as soon as he opens his mouth, you hear a series of knocks and your eyes widen at that.
You hissed. “Shit, that’s Nayeon.”
You sit up from the bed. Jungkook mirrors your haste, scrambling to find his clothes on the floor and putting them on quickly. You have your robe just nearby so you put just that on, ignoring the tingling sensation of cum trickling down your legs.
“I have to go,” Jungkook whispers, and you nod, walking towards the window on the far end of the room and opening it up widely.
Like usual, Jungkook steps on the frame and easily hauls himself outside. It’s the backside of the building of your complex, and it’s mostly and usually quiet, so it was pretty safe for him to just go out of there without anyone noticing, and most especially at times like this. Because Nayeon can’t know. No one can.
“I’ll see you later, pretty.”
Jungkook winks at you and you playfully roll your eyes, waving him off which earns a laugh from him. He easily saunters through the area though and you find it quite unfair how he still carries a certain graceful energy to him even though he literally just did a cardio exercise with you for about 20 minutes. Ugh, him and his athletic body.
Nayeon’s voice can be heard across the flat, but before you let her in, you sprayed an unhealthy amount of air freshener on your body and around the room (just in case she enters) and shoved your discarded clothes from earlier in the laundry basket. After that, you finally run towards the door, welcoming Nayeon with a smile as you open it.
“Hi!” You greet rather cheerfully. She immediately hugs you briefly, groaning as she steps back and enters your little abode.
“Class sucked today,” she throws herself on the couch and you give her a sympathetic smile, walking towards the fridge to get water.
“Well, wish me luck. I’m headed out to one.”
“God, I can’t wait ‘til we graduate, I’m tired of this bullshit.” She says, but she’s opening up her laptop for what you could guess as for finishing up an assigned work. “I wish I was having bomb sex like you. Hey, do you want to go to this party on Friday?”
“I – what?”
“Party on Friday? Finals season for basketball starts on Friday and they’re planning a party. We could use free booze and stress-free night.” Nayeon repeats, but you weren’t asking for the party.
“I’m not having bomb sex.” You say, and that makes her look at you. You stare at each other for a solid few seconds until she rolls her eyes.
“Girl, your hair is looking like a bird’s nest and your lips are swollen as hell. I might not be having bomb sex in the current moment but I know what I look like after I do the deed,” She wore her eyeglasses and perched it on her nose. “And you kinda smelled like sex when you opened the door.”
“Gah!” You feel heat coming and spreading through your cheeks. You thought the damn Febreeze would hold up!
Nayeon waves you off. “It’s fine, it’s not like you haven’t caught me before like that.”
“It’s embarrassing!” You insist, stuffing your face with a bread you took from the counter and purposely not meeting Nayeon’s gaze so you don’t see the teasing smiles you’re sure she’s sending your way.
“That you’re having sex in college?!” Her playful scandalous tone makes you laugh though and that’s when you look at her.
“No, ugh. Just. Sorry. If I smelled like sex. I tried spraying a lot of air freshener earlier.”
She wiggles her brows. “Oh, is that why you took a long time opening the door? Was your sneaky link here just now?”
“Sneaky what?” You say, laughing.
“Sneaky link. You know, a hook up. Wait, is it a boyfriend? Please say no, because I would be extremely offended if you haven’t introduced your boyfriend to me all this time.”
You could swear you felt goosebumps on your nape when you heard the word boyfriend and saw images of Jungkook in your head immediately, as if you were used tp associating him to the word. “It’s definitely not a boyfriend. Just… someone I hook up with sometimes.”
“Interesting. Do I know him?”
The question makes you nervous. She definitely knows. No one not knows who Jungkook is at your campus.
With a shake of your head, you tell her, straight-faced, “Nope.”
“Okay, which department? Does he go to our Uni?” She asks, now seemingly fully invested in this conversation rather than the assignment before her. You’re happy to be a bit of a help to lessen her sour mood from earlier but you shake your head and let out playful tsk-ing sounds,
“Too many questions, babe,” You teased. “My class is starting in twenty minutes.”
You heard her laughing as you carried your clothes to the bathroom to change and to clean up the mess in your nether region. Damn. Jungkook cums a lot these days… he needs to masturbate or something.
“Fine, fine! You don’t want me to know but I’m gonna find out about the mystery guy one way or another!”
Shutting the door to the bathroom, your face contorts at Nayeon’s words.
Yeah, absolutely not. Jungkook and you made an agreement in the first place that everyone should be oblivious of your situationship, and it’s worked for almost four months now.
You can’t fuck it up now.
As soon as you fixed yourself, you bid your goodbye to Nayeon who went ahead and busied herself by hacking away on her laptop, grabbing your bag and heading out and finally walking to your Uni that was just a few minutes away from your complex. Your apartment is almost like a dorm, to be honest. 
The hallway is a little crowded, but you don't miss a certain brunette in a familiar gray hoodie you've had in your closet before. 
You meet Jungkook's eyes but you quickly change your gaze to his friend, Taehyung, who's walking beside him as he greets you cheerfully. 
"Hey, ___!" You return his smile, waving. You had a Philo class with Kim Taehyung at one point and found out that even though he was a varsity guy, he was a pretty interesting person to talk with. You're not super close per say, but acquainted enough to acknowledge each other when you meet somewhere like the campus hallways.
You don't like the attention it draws, though. So you walk straight to your destination.
Varsity guys tend to be famous, and you've chosen to steer yourself away from them. Well. Considering that you're ironically fucking one, you're not doing a very good job at “steering yourself away from them”.
Maybe it's the sole reason why it's a secret. Jungkook is the star player of the basketball team together with Taehyung and a few other guys. You know their usual gist. Famous circle, lavish lifestyle, attractive guys who (unfortunately) know it, skillful at the sports they do, too many people fawning over them. And well… not to be that person but you're just someone dutifully studying here. Someone in the background. And you love that mostly, but sometimes you think that maybe… it's why Jungkook seems to never entertain the idea of making your relationship public. Not that you would like that yourself. You took part in the secrecy agreement, suggested it in fact. You would never admit to anyone you're fucking him. But, well. It's just weird. 
Whatever. It doesn't matter. Someone's going to end it eventually and you're gonna make sure it's you… just so it's established that you aren’t the one who's more willing in the relationship. Yeah, that. Just not now. School is stressful. You like sex with him. You like that sex helps keeping you from going insane with your (admittedly) crazy studying routine.
When you arrive at the lecture hall, your phone vibrates. A text from Jungkook is plastered all over your lock screen.
[1:15pm] Jeon: hi pretty
[1:15pm] Jeon: nice skirt :) 
You internally roll your eyes. Him and his literal and figurative skirt chaser tendencies.
[1:20pm] You: Hi.
You get a reply immediately.
[1:20pm] Jeon: wanna grab dinner later
You stare at his text, a little taken aback. 
That's new. Sure, you had grabbed lunch with him at his stupid fancy Benz like, once. After he fucked you in it to ease your nerves about a class presentation you did earlier that day. He didn't offer, he just bought you Chinese because you passed by a resto as he drove you to your place. 
Anyway. You don't know why he would do this all of a sudden. You fucked three days ago, then the day after that, then earlier this day. You're not complaining but you never predicted your sex life would be so active like this. 
[1:22pm] You: Pass. Studying later
Which is true. You have a Tech Writing quiz tomorrow but it isn't necessarily hard. Whatever. Your thoughts in the hallway awhile ago are making you feel kind of weird about him right now.
[1:23pm] Jeon: boring
[1:23pm] You: ):<
[1:23pm] Jeon: cute :) do u want me to order boba ill deliver it to ur place after ur class
Well, this is definitely not new. Jungkook delivers you food, like, every single time.
[1:24pm] You: :))) Yess. Thank you
[1:24pm] You: I'm going to venmo you
[1:25pm] Jeon: lol yk im just gonna venmo it back to u
True. There's been a lot of back and forth in that app. One time, he "jokingly" sent you a hundred dollars (a hundred dollars!) after you kept on insisting you pay for the takoyaki he made delivered to you, and that horrified you so much that of course you sent the money back to him, but he made you promise to stop trying to argue with him about the payment thing. It doesn't mean you don't feel bad or, like, weird, about it still though...
[1:25pm] You: 😤😠
[1:27pm] Jeon: do u also want anything besides boba
[1:27pm] You: Noppee, I think Nayeon is going to cook something for us later
[1:28pm] Jeon: alright
[1:28pm] You: Are you sure you don't want me to pay you back?
[1:28pm] Jeon: nahh it's alright
[1:28pm] Jeon: besides I can think of other ways for u to pay me back without money involved.. ;) 
Ah, there he is. He really couldn't go on a day without sexual innuendos.
[1:29pm] You: You are infuriating and I'm turning off mh phone 
[1:29pm] You: *my
[1:29pm] Jeon: you like when I annoy you so ..
[1:29pm] You: No I don't and Im so sore i feel like my brain will leak out of my ears from so much sex 
[1:29pm] You: Also please stop using ellipsis in texts
[1:29pm] Jeon: hmm
[1:29pm] Jeon: who said anything about sex?
[1:30pm] Jeon: not me🤔 do u think i just think about sex all the time
[1:30pm] Jeon: what's worng with ellipsis…?
[1:30pm] You: Yes you do think about sex all the time 
He reacted to that message with the HAHA emoji, and you felt yourself having a hard time fighting an eyeroll.
[1:31pm] Jeon: you know me so well
[1:31pm] You: Also, nothing wrong with ellipsis they just remind me of how my dad texts 
[1:31pm] Jeon: ummmmm im sure ur dad is great so im flattered
You snorted at that.
[1:32pm] You: you do NOT know that 
[1:32pm] Jeon: i thought you were turning off your phone
[1:32pm] You: I am right now so don't reply prof is walking to the lecture hall now
[1:32pm] Jeon: good luck baby ;)
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Nayeon didn't convince you enough to join her at the party she mentioned before come Friday night. In a weird parallelism, Jungkook also texted you about a party you could come to, and eventually, you've come to realize that it was his party. Their party. Your Uni's basketball team held a celebratory one because they won the first game of Finals. You only knew when you went to the school's publication office earlier. The freshman sports journalist, Ryujin, came to you to ask you some questions about her rough draft about said game.
You see, this is one of those times when you are reminded that Jungkook and you really only have a relationship through sex. Sure, you know some stuff about each other. Like how you are an English major, he's taking Computer Science, you're the managing director of the school's publication, he's a star player in the basketball team; he knows about your favorite takoyaki flavor (it's smoked bacon) and your boba order, and you know he likes food that you don't like, namely cheese cake and mint chocolate flavored stuff. He also likes Marvel a lot. He knows you're obsessed with films from the golden age of Hongkong cinema. (He doesn't know you particularly love the Wong Kar-wai ones though…)
But somehow, he never really tells you about his basketball games. Sure, he'd mentioned practices before but it's something he doesn't bother to include you in. Not that it would matter to you. It's not like you tell him all about your stuff in school, either.
Your attention is caught by a ping from your phone. 
[12:05am] Jeon: hey you still up? 
The text reads. You type a reply. 
[12:07am] You: Yes, why?
[12:07am] Jeon: let's facetime
[12:07am] You: Why
[12:08am] Jeon: i want to see your pretty face
Spoken like a true fuckboy. Really?
Before you could respond, his face is taking up your whole screen, asking to facetime you. Without thinking about it too much, you accepted the call, falling back to your bed. 
From the screen, you could see that he's wearing a black shirt with a long silver chain around his neck. He smiles that adorable smile when you finally make your whole face visible to the camera. 
"What is it?"
The audio from his end is a little distorted, probably from the loud music from where he's at. That after-game party, most likely. He texted you about it awhile ago. Nayeon is probably there, too. 
"Hi, pretty girl."
Again with the nickname and the slight way his eyes are hooded as he said it. If you squint enough, maybe you could tell if he's drunk or not. You're not sure. But the way that's his instant words upon seeing you is making you feel a little weird in your stomach. He's got to stop calling you that. 
"Are you drunk-calling me right now…?" 
He shakes his head and says something, but you don't hear it, so you say so. The screen shows you dark, pixelated images, making you think he's probably moving his camera around, and you could make out that he's walking away from the party as the loud music fades out eventually. 
"I'm not drunk." He says after he settles on a spot. 
"Oh, okay." You nod. You shifted on your side. "Why did you call me?" 
He laughs at that. "I can't call you?" 
His laughter intensifies when he sees you roll your eyes. "No. I'm just wondering… aren't you at a party?" 
He nods his head. "Yes, but it's getting boring here." 
Another beat of silence, but Jungkook is the one to say another word. 
"Hey, do you wanna go out for a drive?" 
Well… that sounds good. You just finished a write-up and did some studying a little earlier and you also planned to order food but forgot about it.
Jungkook smiles at that. "I've been wanting to show you something. I think you'll like it." 
Your eyebrow arched at that. This is getting a little too new. He's driven you around before but it always involved fucking, not done with the intention to show you something. Not that you aren't expecting sex tonight, though. You would actually appreciate that.
"What is it?" 
You could make out a smirk from Jungkook's face on the slightly pixelated screen. "I'm going to show you the real me." The glint of mischief in his tone cracks you up, so you played right into it,
"Ohhh, does it involve dead bodies?" 
He nods with a serious face. "Yes, but you have to promise me you won't freak out." 
"Yeah, and don't you freak out if I tell the police about it." You squint your eyes, trying to give him a scolding look. 
"Ah," Jungkook leans back. "You would do that, wouldn't you? You're always such a good girl." 
It wouldn't have meant anything if it wasn't for the way his voice drops, giving you a meaningful look again. You could feel the heat in your cheeks but you shrug it off. 
"I am a good girl, I pride myself for it." 
Jungkook finally laughs this time, finding this conversation hilarious just as you do. "I know, I like it most especially—" 
After all this time, you developed a sort of a Spidey sense for when Jungkook is about to say perverted things, so before he could make such remarks, you cut him off.
"If you're gonna say in bed I'm going to end this call." But even you could tell it was an empty threat.
Jungkook thinks so, too, you know that, but he decides to step back. "I was just going to say that I like it most especially because it does good to the world." 
The mirth in his eyes tells you otherwise. 
"You do not think that." You say, rolling your eyes. 
He laughs once more, throwing his head back as if you said the funniest joke in the world. Weirdo. 
"Alright, alright. So I'm coming to your place in five minutes to pick you up. How does that sound?" 
"Good. Nayeon's currently out… just text me if you get here." 
He told you to end the call – which you argued you were just planning to do so and he didn't need to tell you and it earned a laugh from him, how stubborn you were about such simple things. You just gave him a baleful look.
Just as you pick out a sweatshirt and some sweats in exchange for your pajama dress, you receive a text from Jungkook that he's arrived and so you grab your wallet and keys and your phone, heading out. 
You spot his car and knock on the passenger's seat window and Jungkook immediately opens it for you. 
"Hi, gorgeous." He greets you. "You want to keep the window open?" 
"Hi, yes, please." You say, fixing your seat belt. 
He hums and you press on a button to slide the window open. 
"You want to pick up some food?" 
You perked up. "Yeah, I was planning to get some but I was too lazy to order in earlier." 
Jungkook pressed some buttons again you don't really understand but it got music to start playing, lights in the car moving into the same beat of the tune (his car was really fancy…). Some mellow ones you kind of liked during this drive on a cold night. He saw a food place from around a corner and you both agreed to get food from the shop. 
He parked somewhere for you guys to open up the take-out. There's some steamed tofu there so you pick it out and start eating. 
"I've been obsessed with tofu these days," you shared absentmindedly, chewing on said food. 
Jungkook looks at you. "Really? I remember when you said you dislike it." 
"Yeah, but that's because I cooked it one time and it really sucked." 
"I should teach you to cook one of these days…" you refused to acknowledge what that entails and laughed instead.
"You know how?" You said to tease, but you also genuinely can't believe he knows how.
Jungkook clicks his tongue, a faux offended look on his face, saying, "Why do I always get that reaction? Of course I know how to cook." 
"Huh," you pondered. "Wouldn't have expected it from you." 
"Yeah, yeah, I know. But I have this friend who's a really good cook and I kinda learned through him." 
"That's cute. Nayeon knows how to cook and I never learned shit from it." You laugh at your own words, so does Jungkook. "But hey," 
"Do you think my boobs got bigger? I think they got bigger." You put your food down your lap and caress your breasts through your clothes. 
You've been thinking about it since last week. Earlier, you saw yourself naked in your mirror and noticed a change in their size. You almost thought you were pregnant but your period literally just ended yesterday. But can that happen with pregnancies? But… you're very diligent with your pills… so it can't be. Right? 
You made a mental note to buy a test tomorrow.
"Look the same to me." Jungkook says, looking at your chest. 
You grab his free hand and put it over a boob. He squeezes it promptly, and you hear an almost dramatic gasp. 
"Oh, they are bigger." 
You remove his hand over you and nod. "Yeah. But I think it's just due to some hormonal changes. Also I think I'm putting on weight, I've been eating a lot these days… but… it's stupid but I also think my obsession with tofu has something to do with it." 
Jungkook looks over at you curiously. 
"Yeah, they say tofu makes your boobs bigger." 
He arches a brow at that. "Really?" 
"Don't look so excited." 
Jungkook can't help but huff out a laugh. "I do not!" You roll your eyes. He insists, "I love your boobs the way they are." 
"Geez, thanks." 
You finished your food and Jungkook drove around again. It's still in the vicinity of your town. The music in his car serves as a lulling noise in the otherwise quiet night. There's still a lot of cars on the streets, some occasional honking sounds, but you feel really, really great, most especially when the wind blows a little harsher and it makes your hair go crazy. Jungkook laughs at that too. 
It's later in the night when Jungkook slowed down somewhere, and soon, he was parking at an abandoned house.
As if on cue, you looked at him and said, "So you really are going to show me your literal skeletons." 
He laughed at that. 
"Nope, sorry to disappoint, princess." 
Jungkook gets out of the car and you follow, immediately shivering at the wind. You wished you wore a hoodie instead of this thin, knitted sweatshirt, but you didn't expect it would be this cold. It was nearing summer and the weather had been inconsistent for the last month. 
You look at the abandoned house once again. There are wooden planks nailed on the door, plastic covers draped over the windows, and overall, it just looks really old. Kind of creepy, if you were to be honest. 
In your assessment of the house, you don't notice Jungkook coming to you with two bottles of soju. He brings them up slightly, a grin on his face.
"Okay…" you squint your eyes. "Where are we going to do that?" 
He gives you a knowing smirk. "Inside." 
Jungkook went over the fence with ease and you followed his direction but didn't do the same thing. He looks back at you. "Hey." 
"Are you sure it's safe?" You ask, looking around, wrapping your arms around your middle because of the cold. 
Jungkook probably notes the genuine concern in your tone, that's why he sets the soju down and comes forward to you, the fence serving as some kind of dramatic border. 
"Baby, it's fine. No one comes around here." He says but you don't really feel assured just yet. 
"What if someone comes here now? I don't want to be arrested…" 
"No one's getting arrested," Jungkook insists. You still look hesitant. "Come on. Really. I've been here lotta times, haven't ever seen anyone here since then." 
You look at him. He seems to be telling that truth and well, maybe you're stupid for believing him but he seemed to know this place well and had been going here for a long time and as far as you know, he doesn't have criminal records, so… 
"Okay, fine." You give in. 
Jungkook immediately grins. "Nice. Here, let me help you." He leans forward and takes a hold of your hips as you go over the fence. It's not that high, really, but you let him carry you over it until you both entered the abandoned property. 
When he puts you down, you tug at his shirt.
"Wait, your car," you gasp.
"Oh, it's fine. I parked it at that green house, someone's just gonna assume it's theirs." He says, completely nonchalant about it.
You think he's being careless about his fucking Benz but whatever. 
Jungkook leads you to the back of the creepy house and the eerie place immediately gives you goosebumps. The cold of the night does not help, either, so you cling to him until he sits on the ground. 
"Jungkook, that's dirty." You tell him, trying to tug him up. 
He chuckles. "It's fine, princess. Here, I'll take my jacket off. Sit beside me." Indeed, he takes off his jacket, and you worry he might be cold with his t-shirt only now but you also really don't want to sit on the ground… 
"You're not cold?" You make sure as you sit beside him. Jungkook opens one of the soju and offers it to you. You take it as he opens another one for himself. 
"Nah, it's fine." Jungkook starts drinking but even though you have one in your hand, you don't. He must've noticed it as he says, "Hey. Relax."
"Aside from my fear of getting arrested, it's also really fucking creepy here." You retort, scooting closer to him. You got to be honest and admit that you're more scared of the place than scared of getting arrested. 
Jungkook throws his head back to laugh at that. "Again, we're not getting arrested. And what do you mean creepy? You don't like it here?" 
You look around the place more. "Eh, it's okay. I just can't help but think what if there are lost souls around here…" you trailed off, giving him a baleful look when that only made him laugh more. They were quiet laughter, though. Probably to not disrupt said souls. 
"You believe those?" 
You roll your eyes. "Okay, cool macho guy." 
"No, no, I'm sorry," Jungkook still laughs in between his words and you whisked his hand away in an act of lighthearted sulking when it tried to reach you.
Okay. You don't exactly believe in ghosts but it's hard not to when it's in the middle of the night and quiet and cold and you're in an abandoned house. You avoid horror movies for a valid reason. 
"Alright, let's cuddle so you don't get scared." Jungkook says, but there's a teasing sound to it.
"Don't make fun." You glared at him. 
"I'm serious, come here." He opens his arms wide and you roll your eyes, not moving to come closer. He laughs when even after seconds passed you still didn't give in. You thought he was giving up but instead he twisted to your direction and let both his legs crowd you so that you're in between them. 
"You're annoying," you say but you kind of feel oddly comforted by being close to him like that, and Jungkook must've known as well because he just gives you a smug smile, chugging on his soju after.
You did the same. You try to whisk away your nerves and scary thoughts, letting yourself relax as he said. When you kind of did a moment later, you find that it's kind of nice, actually. 
"What do you think?" Jungkook suddenly speaks. 
"It's nice here, right?" He arched his brow at you. "Just try not to think about ghosts." 
You pinch his shin through his cargo pants and he gives you a very ingenuine, "Ouch!" 
"Except for the ugly house, it's nice here." You reply. As you look up, you see stars scattered across the dark skies. It was quite a view, honestly. Makes you a little surprised because it was so beautiful. You almost missed Jungkook's words. 
"Yeah. It's not exactly beautiful here but it's a great place to think." 
Jungkook sees your mirthful smile and shakes his head. "Yes, baby, I do a lot of those." 
You chuckle at that and drink more of your soju. 
You don't exchange more words after that but you find that it wasn't awkward. It was just… a nice silence. A comfortable one. With Jungkook crowding you with his legs, you feel like you might be the most relaxed you've ever been in the past few months. 
You twist yourself so now you're not facing forward anymore, but to Jungkook. You realize if he'd been looking forward he just had a view of your side profile. You try not to think too much if he just stared at you, although you did feel him do that for a few minutes a while ago. 
"Hey, congrats on the game." You tell him with a soft smile on your face, placing your drink on the ground. It's still filled in half. You could finish it but you doubt you wouldn't be drunk by that time. Your alcohol tolerance is not at all exemplary. 
"Thanks." Jungkook sheepishly smiles at you. "You watched it?" 
"Ah, no. I just heard about it. I don't really know anything about basketball so…" you trail off, noting the way he nods at your words. 
"Right. I've never seen you watch us before."
You try to joke, "That's because you never invite me to any of your games." 
But it looks like that caught him off guard. "I– huh?" The look on his eyes tells you that he was genuinely surprised at your words, those eyes of him looking like a deer's when it's caught in the headlights. 
You laugh. "I'm just kidding. I don't usually watch sports games. Too crowded for my liking." 
Jungkook nodded at that, but he still looked taken aback from your words earlier. You really were just kidding. You hope he didn't take them so seriously. But he agrees with you, anyway. "Yeah, it can get crowded sometimes." 
Silence and then after a few beats, Jungkook speaks again. 
"Hey, let's make out." 
You arched a brow but didn't really find any reason to oppose it, so you went ahead and kissed him. 
Jungkook immediately holds your hips. On the other hand, you snake your arms around his neck, kneeling in between his spread legs. The kiss starts slow but he holds the back of your neck and deepens it.
You whimpered when he nudged your legs with his free hand, and your shock made you break away from the kiss. Jungkook took it as an opportunity to start pecking your neck, though, his hand seemingly coaxing you to open your legs. You got the message and finally straddled his waist, Jungkook groaning and you moaning when you feel your crotches connecting at the action.
He was already sporting a semi, and you also feel your panties getting slick from the way he kissed and bit and licked and soothed your neck. 
"Jungkook," you moaned, searching for his mouth. 
He kissed you again, all tongue and so sloppy, his hand reaching for the hem of your sweatshirt and creeping inside it to find you not wearing a bra. 
"Ah, fuck," he squeezed the boob in his hand, you whine. "They really are bigger. Can I see them, baby?" 
You nodded, not even giving it a solid thought as Jungkook immediately hiked up your top until your perky breasts were all bare for him to see. 
And devour, apparently. 
Jungkook went straight to sucking your tit and squeezing the other to tend to it, massaging it in his huge palm. He licked a nipple and bit at it slightly, making you sigh at his action. Your arms went to his head to fist his hair in your hands. 
His ministrations on your chest encouraged you to roll your hips against his pelvis, and that elicited a grunt from him. Smiling a little at that, you experimented on doing it a little harder, and as a result, Jungkook tugged at your nipple, making you whine a little too loud.
You pout. "I want to fuck." 
"It's not so creepy here anymore?" He had the audacity to tease, but his hands were still on your breasts, fondling them. 
"I didn't say we can fuck here. Just…" you looked around, not really specifically looking for something. 
Now that Jungkook mentioned it again, you get reminded that it really is creepy as fuck here. And you still didn't trust the ground. There was no way you could stand fucking in this property. And what if something scary happens while you're in the middle of doing it… 
Just as you were thinking it, a strange sound catches both of your attention.
"I think we should get back in your car." You decided. 
Probably seeing the flash of fear in your eyes, Jungkook laughs. "Are you thinking of ghosts again?" 
You slap his chest. "No. But I want to cum." 
"So demanding," he playfully scolds but you just roll your eyes and let your sweatshirt fall to cover you up once again. You immediately cling to him the moment he stands up and help him pick up the soju bottles, anxiously praying you guys hurry up to get out of here. 
"It was just the wind." Jungkook tells you once you were on your way to his car. 
As far as you're concerned, it's never just the wind. At least those shitty horror movies you and your cousins watched during sleepovers tell you so. 
Jungkook opens the door to the backseat and you go in and he follows after you. 
You immediately straddle him once he's seated, earning a chuckle from him. 
"Wow, you're really eager for me to fuck the fear out of you, huh?" He says, sounding smug about the way you reach for the hem of your shirt and removing it from yourself. 
"Hm. Your dirty talk these days have been subpar." you slide his jacket off of him and he lets you remove his shirt as well, laughing more at your impatience. 
"Can't think straight when a pretty girl is on my lap." 
Before you could say something about that, he gripped your waist and got you off his lap, manhandling you to lay on the backseat. Your back is against the car door as Jungkook twisted in his seat, hauling himself backwards to pull your sweats down and take off your birkens. Leaning down, Jungkook pressed open-mouthed kisses up your thighs, teasing his mouth on where you need him the most. 
But you didn't want to feel anything there other than his cock, and you tell him so. 
"Jungkook," you whine, catching his attention. When he looks up at you, you whine some more, "Just fuck me. I'm so wet already." 
He cursed, caressing the sides of your thighs. "Baby, I need to prep you."
"There's no need for that, come on, please. I need your cock." 
Jungkook groans. But then he makes quick work of unzipping his pants, pulling it down with his boxers until his dick is out. It's plenty hard already, the shiny tip catching your attention. 
You let out another cry at the sight of him gripping his base, pumping it for a few seconds and finally pushing your panties to the side and slipped inside you. True to your words, it was quite an easy slide, but the burn still stings a little bit. His size was on the little above average spectrum and you've always found a hard time taking it in smoothly. 
"Oh, god," you mewl, grasping his bicep while your other hand grips the back seat. 
Jungkook tightened his fingers on your waist, a hand coming up to one of your thighs to wrap it around his middle. You follow his silent command, welcoming the hot kiss he gives you. 
"Should I move now?" He whispers in your mouth, and you nod frantically, throwing your head back with a moan when he does as told. 
His cock was not even pulled out completely before he slipped it in again, slowly, in agonizing deep strokes. Like he wants to feel every corner of your warm hole. 
"So good…" you moaned, tightening your thigh around his body. 
"You like when I fuck you slow, baby?" Jungkook pressed kisses on your chest this time, and you could only nod your head mindlessly as he repeated thrusting out again. 
"I – ah… so good, Kook. I love it," 
The car is cramped and all you could hear are your heavy breaths and the lewd squelching sound of his cock going in and out of your pussy, his chain dangling in between your bodies feels cold when it momentarily touches your chest.
You would tell him to go faster, harder, but the way he was planting fairy kisses on your skin and his tattooed arm popping veins on the side of your head as if he was finding it hard to not fuck you stupid, you found that his deep and precise albeit slow strokes great.
"So pretty," he says, moving the strands of hair that stuck everywhere on your face. 
"K-kook," you whimper. 
"Hm? Baby? What is it?" Jungkook looks at you with an uncharacteristically soft gaze, his dick still continuing its slow pace in your cunt. 
"M-my back hurts like this," you say. 
His eyes look softer at your words, expression gentle. "Sorry, angel." He caresses your face and kisses you which you welcomed with a sob when his dick hits deeper after he leaned down. "Here, I'll sit here. Straddle me." But he doesn't even wait for you to move as he hauls you to his lap himself, his cock still inside you, feeling it twitching when you sit on it outright. 
"Good girl," Jungkook squeezes your breasts and laps at them, only to look up at you again. "You okay?" 
You nod, pushing him slightly so that he relaxes his back against the seat. You brace yourself on his chest and begin to bounce on his cock.
Jungkook throws his head back, letting you on your own pace, hands gripping your hips to help you move. 
"So fucking good for me," he hissed just as when you mewled when his cock hits a particular spot in you. "Take it easy, baby, nice and slow, okay? Hm?" He said, taking a hold on the back of your head and pulling you in for a slow kiss.
You followed his words and planted your knees on either side of him, going down steadily, crying out at the way you feel every ridge of his huge cock inside you like this. 
It was so pleasurable, the way he groaned in your ears, squeezing your breasts, tugging at your sensitive nipples, murmuring stupid, sweet nothings, his cock seemingly growing larger in your heat each second passed, and soon, you feel that knot in your stomach ready to burst. 
"I-I'm cumming, Kook, I'm cumming–" 
Jungkook hummed, and when he felt your movements stuttering, he took it upon himself to press his thumb to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves and fucking his dick up into you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your orgasm snap. 
"So good for me, baby, fuck, you're such a good girl for me." He kept rubbing delicious shapes on your clit, and you had to bite back a pathetic sob as the pleasure started to become too much. 
But he was still chasing his high, and you leaned forward to kiss him through it, letting him do whatever he wanted to get himself there. 
And when he did cum, you feel yourself cumming a second time too, Jungkook letting out strings of curses and nonsense as he feels you dripping more juices down onto his cock. 
Your head falls on the crook of his neck, Jungkook caressing your back as he relaxes on the seat. 
For a while, words are not spoken. He kept kissing your hair while you felt him twitching in your pussy. 
"I'm so tired," you wearily peeled your face from his neck, looking at him. He has his eyes shut close, but there's a content smile on his face that you leaned down to kiss. You didn't know what for, you just felt like kissing him. 
Jungkook hums. The mess in your crotch starts to feel sticky and cold and uncomfortable. 
"Let's stay like this for a while." He says, as if he could read that you were about to get off his lap. 
You chuckle. "I can literally feel you going soft." 
"Ignore my dick. I wanna feel you a little more." 
Jungkook does an unexpected thing of kissing your forehead. You choose to ignore the weird tingling feeling in your stomach and the way your cheeks feel hot at the action, just let him slip his fingers through your hair and rest your cheek on his naked chest. 
You eventually got off of each other after a few minutes, and you both were quiet as you dressed yourselves back. Jungkook and you got out of his car so he could drive and you could enter the passenger's seat. 
The drive to your place was quiet but the silence was nice and comfortable, just like when you were at the back of that creepy old house. Jungkook occasionally sang along to some of the songs playing from a random playlist he pulled up on Spotify, and his voice sounded kind of nice. You wanted to say something about it but decided not to, in slight fear that he would stop.
When he pulled over in front of your complex, there was a soft, gentle smile on his face when he told you, "Sweet dreams." 
Your face mirrored his as you wished him good night. 
You locked the door to your apartment, ignoring the annoying butterflies in your stomach. 
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You found yourselves at that abandoned house again the next night and Jungkook forewent the booze and brought junk food from Wendy's. You had a swell time just sitting with each other at the back of the house, talking about the most random things you could talk about like some silly childhood memories. You almost shared your joy upon finding out that you weren't actually pregnant after taking the test earlier that day just like you said you would the other night, but you found it better to keep that to yourself. But you ranted to him about Professor Kang for giving you a C+ on a project you thought you deserved a higher grade for. Jungkook showed blind support by roasting your professor's haircut. You didn't fuck that night but did it the next night after a few drinks. 
When the day of their second game of Finals hit, your Uni won again and Jungkook ditched the after-game party, picking you up and driving you to that place.  Almost like it became tradition. 
This time, you think you went overboard with the drinks, but it was probably just your shitty alcohol tolerance because Jungkook was standing still with his third bottle – which you childishly argued was unfair. 
Jungkook carried you like a sack of potatoes on your way to his car, ignoring how you slapped his ass. But you were all giggles and hushed whispers in the backseat as Jungkook guided your hips, bouncing you on his cock, just like the other nights. 
"How does it feel, baby?" Jungkook whispered against your mouth while you gripped his shoulders hard to slide up and down his cock, the tops of your feet resting on his thighs.
"S-so good," you whimpered, speeding up, feeling yourself getting close to your edge. 
Jungkook tightened his hands on your waist but didn't really do anything to control your movements or pace like he usually would. Like he was just enjoying you on top of him, using his cock to get off. 
You leaned down to kiss him, your moan upon feeling him deeper getting swallowed by the way he immediately reciprocated your touch.
You opened your eyes but then you suddenly caught a glimpse of a car. You pulled away from the kiss, but Jungkook took it as an opportunity to kiss your neck instead. While he was busy lapping up your skin, you narrowed your eyes to see clearer, only to realize that the car you saw was a fucking police cruiser. 
"Jungkook," you called him, stopping your movements on his lap. 
"Baby," Jungkook's voice nearly sounded like a whine, understandably confused at your action– or lack thereof. 
But you only tapped his shoulder a little harder. 
"There's a damn cruiser in front of us." 
Well, it wasn't actually in front of you. It was more like, parked across from you, beside that abandoned house. 
Jungkook seemed to realize your panic though. His car wasn't lit because you immediately got into it the moment he put you in the backseat. It was a little inconvenient especially when you were slipping him in but it turned to be a blessing in disguise because whoever owned that cruiser didn't notice what you were doing in his car.
You hastily climbed off of him, quickly finding your shorts on the floor of the car and sliding it on while seated. Meanwhile, Jungkook just tucked his dick in his boxers and zipped up his pants. It was pure luck that you didn't completely strip each other off earlier because it made for a fast dress up.
"Wait." Jungkook leaned over the center part of the car and stayed a few seconds hunched over the console. You were just about to ask him what he was doing when the passenger's seat suddenly reclined back. 
"We can climb over here so that we don't have to go out and have a cop seeing us. It would be suspicious." He suggested, and you quickly nodded and did what he told you with a little bit of his help.
Jungkook pressed a button once again that had the driver's seat this time leaning back, just like yours did. He climbed over it just as fast, putting on his seatbelt that you remember you needed to do as well so you followed. 
He lit on the car and started the engine. But before he could drive, a knock on his window made you both look at it.
You held your breath as you watched his window slowly sliding down, revealing a police decked in his uniform hunching down to see the inside of the car. 
"Evening, officer." Jungkook greets casually. You didn't know what to do. You don't want the cop to see your face so you reach for the phone in your pocket and turn it on, trying to seem busy and casual.
"Oh, it's just some kids, Hwang," The cop turned to the side, and that's when you heard another set of footsteps coming towards you. "You kids live here?" 
"Yeah. It's my parents' house, I'm just about to drive my girlfriend home." Jungkook answered, referring to the green house he parked at, not a hint of hesitation or even an ounce of nervousness in his demeanor. 
You were too frozen to react to the way he called you his girlfriend. 
The other cop nodded. "Apologies, kids. We were just roaming. Be careful, you got a sleek car. There's some thief on the loose around these areas." 
Jungkook nodded as well, even did a little salute as he said, "You got it, sir." 
The cop patted the top of his car and Jungkook bid them a final goodbye before closing his window again and driving away. 
You felt like your soul just went right back inside you after it got out for a moment there. 
"Holy shit, that was the craziest thing I've ever done."
And then suddenly, you giggled. Actually, like, giggled. Because realizing what just happened, you found every single thing fucking hilarious. You got away from cops! You’ve never even faced them before.
"Oh my god, Jungkook. That was insane!" You said in between your laughter. 
Jungkook looked over at you before training his attention to the road and finally laughing with you, seemingly finding what happened just as hilarious. "Yeah. It was, it was."
"And they really believed you! I can't believe it," you covered your face with both of your hands, your belly starting to hurt with how much you found the whole thing incredulous that it was funny.
"It's not like we did anything wrong…" Jungkook said but he had a hint of playful tone when he spoke the words.
You snorted. "Well, in between public indecency and trespassing, which do you think they would most likely arrest us for?" 
That got Jungkook to laugh again. 
During the ride to your place, you complained about feeling too cold at one point. Jungkook asked if you wanted him to turn the A/C down but you shook your head and so he offered his jacket instead because you only wore a shirt. In your defense, when he picked you up, the weather was humid even though it was late at night.
You didn't stop talking and laughing about what happened earlier, though. You found it hard to let go of it just like that.
"You are so drunk," Jungkook chuckled as he pulled over. "You're going to regret it tomorrow." 
"It's Saturday tom–" you cut yourself off with a yawn. 
"You're cute when you're drunk." Jungkook commented, pulling over, indicating that you were near your apartment. You didn't even notice. 
"Not drunk, just tipsy." You said, starting to unbuckle your seat belt but you kept on failing. Your tipsiness was starting to kick in again and everything was a little too hazy in your head.
You still definitely are aware about your surroundings, so aware that you felt Jungkook hunching over your side to unbuckle your seat belt for you, so close that you felt his breath fanning your face.
"Thanks." You smiled, he returned it.
You opened the door yourself this time, though, and was only a little surprised to see Jungkook getting out of his car too.
"Let me walk you."
And honestly, you should be worried about the possibility of Nayeon being at the apartment and seeing you together, but you couldn't really bring yourself to care when all you could feel was odd content in feeling Jungkook's presence as you walked towards your place. 
It was quiet but it was comfortable. You noticed how it’s always been like that with him, especially these days.
When you reached your door, you turned to Jungkook who was a little behind you, probably slowed his steps when you neared your place.
"Thanks for walking me." 
"No biggies," Jungkook grins and then he stares at you for a while.
"What?" You asked. 
He leans down, holds your hip and presses his mouth against your own. 
Surprisingly, you didn't really make a big deal out of it in your head when you were supposed to because this has never happened before. Jungkook walking you to your door and kissing you before he leaves has never occurred before. 
And yet, it felt so normal. Like it was just something that happens on the daily. Like you were so used to feeling his casual and soft kisses instead of the passionate and hard ones that often led to something. 
"See you next week?" 
You nod, biting your lip as he lets you go. "Yeah." 
Jungkook gives you a one, last small smile before he turns around and goes to his car, entering it and driving away from your complex. 
What a crazy night. 
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You really weren't supposed to come with.
But Juyeon, your editor in chief, told you to accompany Ryujin as she goes to interview the basketball team for their second win at the Finals season today. Your responsibility told you that it was fine, which, really is fine because you were used to monitoring freshmen in the club and that was actually one of your official jobs as the managing director but!
You were basically gonna do a babysitting job because Ryujin apparently fucked a guy from the team after she interviewed them the first time and it resulted to a poor article, and as a result, Juyeon is afraid she's gonna fuck up her future write-ups so you're the collateral damage of the whole situation. 
Juyeon didn't tell you that herself, though. Keeping things professional and decent. You heard it from the other members of the club. 
Right now, you have to be in the gymnasium to meet people you've never really bothered meeting before and have always avoided for obvious reasons. 
But it was fine.
You checked Ryujin's questions on the way there and when you arrived, she immediately tried to spot the team's coach to talk to him about the interview she was gonna conduct. 
Instantly, you felt a prickling sensation on your arms and the back of your neck as the varsity players stopped on their tracks to look at the newcomers. At this hour, you can see no one at the gym seats. You and Ryujin were the only civilians and they noticed that immediately. 
It's as if you couldn't help it, but you spotted Jungkook on one of the benches drinking water. As if on cue, he met your gaze, and you could see the little surprise he had on his face seeing you. However, you quickly looked away and walked towards where the coach and Ryujin were speaking.
"I'm here with our managing director, too. She's here to help me with the interview." Ryujin told the coach, all smiles. 
"Good day, sir." You greeted him. He nodded at you in acknowledgement and turned to look at his team. 
"Alright," The coach loudly said, which got the players to transfix their attention to him instead. You tried not to notice Jungkook looking at you as he walked towards your direction, the other members doing the same. Coach stood straight and elaborated, "The school's publication is here to interview you about the previous game you've had. Practice ends here–" he was cut off by the collective loud cheers from the guys. He shook his head. "But put on your best behavior." 
"Guaranteed, coach." Someone said but you saw how he sent a wink to Ryujin's way.
Jesus Christ, where even was the subtlety? It was such a boy-ish thing to do. If you could, you would roll your eyes. Wait – was it the guy she fucked on that interview? Ugh. You couldn't really bring yourself to care. It was her sex life… just maybe she shouldn't mix it with her journalism activities… 
"Careful, Kang. I'm gonna make you do ten laps if you don't give these writers some good material," The coach warned and some of them snorted. He then turned to both of you and Ryujin. "These guys are very rowdy but you guys will be fine." 
You try to smile at him as he bids his goodbye and leaves the gym. Taejun, the senior sports journalist had already interviewed him so Ryujin only had to do it with the players themselves so they could collaborate on the article. 
Ryujin enthusiastically greeted the team and introduced herself, as well as you. You offered them a small smile and was only a little taken aback when Taehyung chirped your name.
"Hi, Taehyung." you return his greeting.
He grins at you.
Ryujin looks at you immediately. "Oh, you know someone here?" 
Yeah, technically you knew of some people here. You knew Taehyung though, and you knew Jungkook. But you chose to just nod instead of saying anything. 
Ryujin lets out a happy noise. "That's so cool!" 
"Hey, surprised to see you here," Taehyung walked up to you. "I thought you weren't in the sports section?"
You were surprised to know that Taehyung even remembers what you told him a long time ago. You got to know each other that much during the time you were constantly talking. 
"Well, yes. Ryujin is a freshman, though. I take care of them sometimes, you can say." You replied. 
Taehyung nodded in understanding. "You're gonna be here for a while?" 
"We'll see. But I think the interview will be a quick one." 
Someone from the team called Taehyung and he looked at you apologetically. You nodded with a smile. 
"We always seem so busy whenever we see each other," Taehyung shakes his head with a laugh. You find that quite funny too. "Hey, do you wanna catch up? Get some coffee around." 
"Oh, yeah, sure. But I bet your sched is crazy these days." you said, alluding to their constant practices for Finals season. 
"Nah, I can make time. Unless you have a crazy sched too?" He gave you a playful smile. 
You cocked your head to the side, squinting your eyes at him. "Not all of us are trying to get our school a big trophy." 
Taehyung laughed at that and his teammates called for him again, this time it was Jungkook. You both looked at him. He had a strange look on his face but you shrugged it off. 
"Well, I better get going. Ryujin's starting." He said and pointed back with his thumb. 
The boys were kind of rowdy in the start, but they eventually scattered around the benches doing their own thing as Ryujin talked to them individually, especially the ones who usually play in court. 
You offered to take some of your own notes, too, were kind of bothered that you didn't really understand some of the terms used and that this was very unusual territory for you to get a material at for writing an article. You never really dabbled on sports writing. 
Eventually, you felt your bladder looking for relief so you told Ryujin that you would be back in a minute. 
It was a little difficult to find the comfort room but you did see it in the far corner of the hallway, a few steps away from the gymnasium. 
You were washing your hands on the communal sink after peeing when the door suddenly opened, revealing Jungkook in his jersey. 
Hand clutching your chest, you looked at him with a scandalized expression. 
"Jesus," you squint your eyes. "Why are you here?"
Jungkook closes the door and saunters towards the room. "No greetings or anything?" 
You give him an eyeroll and come back to washing your hands as soon as you get over the initial shock of seeing him. 
You simply shrug.
In a second, Jungkook was beside you. "We haven't seen each other in a while," he said, giving you a playful nudge. 
You whisk your hands, ridding the wetness out of your hands. 
"It's only been three days." 
You see him smile at you through the mirror, and he has that soft look again on his face. You get reminded of your last night together. When he kissed you good night as he dropped you home. 
"I was surprised to see you there," Jungkook says, turning around and leaning back on the counter. 
You think he's referring to seeing you at the gym and that makes you chuckle. Why was everyone surprised to see you at the gym? "Why, you think you guys own the gym or something?" 
Jungkook found your sass amusing, though. 
"Come on, you know what I mean." 
You playfully narrowed your eyes at him but ended up laughing for no reason other than he also laughed. 
"Eh, duty calls. Our EIC had me accompany Ryujin, so," you see Jungkook nodding. You swerve the topic to the next one. "Your big game starts in, like, five days from now." You mirror his stance and also lean back on the counter. 
Jungkook watched as you did so. "Yeah."
His eyes are trained on yours, and you hold a weird, intense stare until he finally peels himself off from the counter and walks to you. You're surprised that you've never thought about him in his jersey but you were able to see him earlier like this before and right now, in your close up view, damn. He looked good. Especially with his tattoos all out like that. You really like them. They looked pretty.
"It's probably gonna be the last game," you said, referring to the fact that they've won the last two games and if they win this one, it would be the concluding point of the Finals season. "You're going to make the Uni proud?" You arched a brow at him. 
He shrugged. And finally, he crossed the small distance between you and held your hips. You think you unintentionally let out a happy hum at the contact. You've been wanting him to touch you as soon as you saw him earlier. For some weird reason. 
"Sure, but only if you're there for me to give me my personal reward," The lewd undertone was not lost on you and it made you giggle. Somehow, he'd gotten even closer, fingers caressing your hips in soothing circles. "You look good, by the way. This skirt is new?" 
It is new. You try not to think too much about what it says about you that you kind of thought of him when you placed the order a week ago. It was just a blip of thought, anyway. You swear. 
"Yes. And you're kinda sweaty," He really is. But it doesn't stop you from looping your arms around his neck and Jungkook is only visibly satisfied at the physical contact and close proximity. 
"Hard at work," he leans down, but he only nudges your nose. "Can I see your panties?" 
You would have scolded yourself for giggling like a school girl at that question, but Jungkook must've realized how stupid that sounded too as he laughed
 together with you. 
"I don't know, you're gonna have to do it yourself. I think." You whispered, playing into the joke. 
You saw his smirk before he finally closed the hairsbreadth gap between you and touched your mouth against his. He prodded at the seam of your lips with his tongue and you let him access, his tongue swirling with your own as you shared a rather passionate kiss in the sink.
There was a string of saliva between your mouths when he broke free.
"God, I missed your taste."
It was his last words before he dove in again, kissing you way deeper now, more frantic as well, as he started getting handsy. At some point, his hands on your hips lifted you up until you were seated on the counter, Jungkook kissing you like it hasn't only been three days since he had you like this. He squeezed your bare thighs that got you whimpering, your hips, waist. Up, up, and up until he was copping a feel on your boobs through your clothes. 
He was kissing your neck when you suddenly felt him untucking your shirt from your skirt. 
"Wait, no," You tried to get your head out of your previous headspace and took a hold of his wrists. 
"No?" Jungkook stops, looking at you curiously, lips plump, hair a little wild. And with his stupid basketball jersey, it was extremely hard to discourage his advances. 
"Someone might come in," you say with genuine worry in your voice, pushing him away slightly. 
"There's not really a lot of people who come to this bathroom," he tells you. Which, you think, kind of makes sense. Him and his teammates have their locker rooms and their own comfort room that was an extension of the gym (which you pointedly didn't go to for obvious reasons) and this part of the campus was a little quiet. 
But then again, you did tell Ryujin you would be back in a minute. And it would be quite ironic if Juyeon told you to monitor her because she fucked someone in the team while you go ahead and fail to do that job because you were fooling around with another someone from the same team. 
Jesus. That's enough crisis for today. 
"Ryujin's probably going to interview you soon," you said, tucking your shirt back into your skirt.
You jump slightly to step on the floor, turning around to fix your hair, seeing Jungkook stepping back through the mirror. "Why did you leave the gym, by the way?" 
Jungkook invades your personal space again and presses himself to your back. "I got excited when I saw you…" he whispers in your ear and your whimper betrays your resistance from literally a few seconds ago as you feel something hard on your ass. 
But at the same time, you look at him incredulously through the mirror. He just shrugs as he sees it, gripping your hips again and burrowing his face on the crook of your neck.
"Kook," you whine.
Jungkook chuckled and before you can do something stupid like give in to his touch, he leaned back and held his hands up. 
"Fine, fine," he says, still laughing when you turn around to glare at him. "Can I see you later?" 
You jab at his chest lightly. "For being annoying just right now, you can't " 
His face contorts and pouts. "Aw, come on," 
You roll your eyes at his dramatic antics. 
"We can't get into anything tonight. Nayeon is staying at home and I'm nervous about her seeing your car if you pick me up," you tell him. "Also, we can't go to that place. That cruiser might be back again." 
"Yeah, yeah," Jungkook agrees. "We can just go together to my place after this, though? It would be late by the time your friend is finished with the interview."  
You look at him funny. 
He sighs. "Damn, I thought I could finally convince you to fuck at my place." 
You shake your head. "Never."
From the start, you both agreed to only fuck at your place (whenever Nayeon is not around, of course) per your request. Jungkook lives quite far from the campus, at least far compared to yours, and it was a high complex building. As far as you know, most of the big shots at school live there and he's neighbors with Taehyung. You don't want to risk it. 
"Never is a long time.." Jungkook wiggles his brows at you and that breaks you from your thoughts. 
Laughing, you push at him playfully. 
"Gee. You should go. They're probably now wondering why you're taking so long." 
"They're probably thinking I'm taking a shit." he shrugs. "I think I told Taehyung that before I left."
"Oh no, is that what they're going to think about me, too?" You gave him an animated concerned look, making your voice purposely higher in pitch. 
"Wait, what? You take a shit?" Jungkook playing into the joke caused you to laugh and you punched his bicep that he just took with a grin. 
When the laughter died down, Jungkook looked at you seriously.
"When can I see you again?" 
"I don't know. Sometime this week, maybe? Don't be whiny." You smile as you see his pout. "Hey, you really should go now." 
He looked a little hesitant but he didn't really have a choice. And you were also growing more concerned that someone from the gym might think maliciously about you and Jungkook disappearing at the same time for a long time. Hopefully, no one cared enough to think about it. 
"Alright." Jungkook says finally and starts to step out. Before he leaves, though, he asks, "Wait, are you going to the game?" 
You hope Jungkook doesn't see the surprise if it showed on your face. You didn't expect him to ask that. 
But you try to play it cool, pondering on it. It's Wednesday, next week, and as far as you knew, there was nothing major in your schedule. You still don't know about that, though. Maybe some of your profs would drop a big project on your heads come Monday. 
It's why you were surprised to hear yourself say, "I'll try." 
Jungkook gave you a wide grin before he left completely.
When you got back to the gym, Ryujin was already talking to him.
Jungkook looked at the door when you entered and did a poor job of hiding a smile to himself, and for what reason, you simply didn't know. But so as you did not know the reason for why you looked too closely at him to even notice that tiny gesture. 
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For someone who was adamant to see you last week, Jungkook wasn't really able to snuck in time to do so. You shared texts here and there, but he mentioned that they've been practicing nonstop since the past few days because they are preparing for a big game, after all. Might be the last one if they come through and win it. 
Come Wednesday, the day of the third game, Jungkook texted you that he got a reserved seat for you at the venue. Your weird giddiness over that was clouded by the worry at the thought of how he managed to do that without anyone suspecting anything about your relationship. You mentally noted to tell him about it later. 
When Nayeon came home after classes, she told you she got two tickets for the game if you wanted to come with. You didn't really need tickets, though, you could just use your journalist card and they would let you in.
See, you had all these resources to go to the game but the thing is, you have a book review and another assignment due tonight and you needed to get some studying done for a test tomorrow. The game starts at 3 pm and will probably end around 6 or even later than that. It's not that you never procrastinated in your life but you've learned over the years to prioritize more important things over the ones that didn't really need urgency. And this is why you told Nayeon that you couldn’t come with her because of your packed schedule today. 
But worry looms over you as you remember how excited Jungkook seemed over your texts earlier when you asked him what you should expect at the game. He told you about how it could be chaotic and noisy and crowded but it was gonna be fun and worth your while, especially if – he jokingly said – he scores a shot for you if you were gonna be there. 
Looking back, you made it sound like you were gonna come but in your defense, you really were going to but these school activities came to you unexpectedly and you didn't have the luxury of time to set them aside to watch a basketball game first. 
And anyway, was it really a big deal if you didn't come? You don't think Jungkook would really mind. Maybe his texts went over your head that you thought he was excited at the prospect of you going to his game. You would tell yourself it didn't matter, and if Jungkook was going to be shit about it (which you doubt, 'cause he seemed casual about inviting you) then he's gonna be weird for being weird about it. It wasn't like this was normal for you both, anyway. You going to his games, that is. 
So around 2 pm, you messaged him. 
[2:06pm] You: Hey, I'm really sorry I can't go to your game. Swamped with school works, but I wish you good luck :) Go break a leg but hopefully not literally! 
It was hard to focus on writing your book review because you couldn't help but be agitated as you remembered that they air these Finals games on television and you could literally just turn it on and watch it from there. But the almost empty document on your laptop was glaring at you, like it was daring you to watch TV instead of finishing it. 
Of course, you chose to tend to it instead. As if you really had a choice in the first place. 
At 10 pm, your book review was mostly done and only needed a few touch-ups. You also finished your other assignment so you finally had some time to eat.
You just reheated a leftover pizza from your fridge when you received a text from Nayeon.
[10:11pm] Im Nayeonie: babe im sleeping over at a friend's so the place is all yours for tonight. don't forget to lock up ok 
[10:11pm] You: Ok! You'll be back tomorrow morning? 
[10:14pm] Im Nayeonie: eh probably around 10am but I'll see 
You remember that she was at the game earlier. The game actually slipped off your mind eventually when you got your head in too deep with finishing your assignments, but now that you're reminded of it again, you wanted to know how it was.
[10:16pm] You: Hey how was the game? 
[10:16pm] Im Nayeonie: oh my ur interested in bb now?? 
[10:17pm] You: Don't tease! I just wanted to know if you had fun 
[10:17pm] Im Nayeonie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You snort at the emoticon. 
[10:17pm] You: What the hell does that mean?! 
[10:17pm] Im Nayeonie: nothing lmaoooo
[10:18pm] Im Nayeonie: but the game was fine! it was kinda intense but our uni lost unfortunately): they had a three point difference 
Oh. You usually didn't care about any sports games that your Uni has but the news deflated you. 
[10:19pm] You: Ah, thats unfortunate
You replied, finding that you didn't really know what to say. Should you message Jungkook? But what were you going to say? 
[10:19pm] Im Nayeonie: yeah it is it was supposed to be the last game 😖😖 but there's still 2 more to go anyway im not too worried about it finals went like this last season too
[10:20pm] Im Nayeonie: but jungkook's buzzer beater at game 4 was really insane it's like all over on twt IK you proly won't care about it but ill send you a link HAHAHAH 
Nayeon did send you a link and thankfully you were able to see it even though you didn't have Twitter, but you looked up "buzzer beater" on Google first. You didn't understand it completely but slowly did when you played the video she was talking about. 
The camera was a bit shaky and the background was expectedly noisy. The angle shifted to the timer on top of the ring and you could see that there was only ten seconds left. When the lens panned to the court, you saw a player wearing your Uni's colors and you couldn't have mistaken Jungkook for anyone when you spotted the tattoo sleeve. He was a bit far from the ring, at that curved line – the three-point line, you learned through the replies – but he successfully shot the ball quite gracefully into the ring and everyone just lost it. Even the person behind the video was cheering exuberantly. You could also make out that Jungkook pumped the air at his own shot in triumph as a buzzing sound overtook the screams before the clip ended. 
Apparently, they were losing in the fourth game, but Jungkook managed to make a three-point shot in the very literal end which got them a chance to play through the fifth. You scrolled through the comments and found out that it was indeed a tight game and the other team only had a three-point difference with your Uni’s team, like Nayeon said.
It was already amazing, in your opinion, but people online could really be shitty.
Some were mocking Jungkook's buzzer beater in game 4, saying how it was useless and how he could've done it again in game 5 but wasn't able to. You didn't know shit about basketball but you were very certain it was a rare thing to do in court so the people who were complaining about it could go fuck themselves.
This is why you avoid social media as much as possible. You hope Jungkook doesn't see those comments. 
You were frowning as you texted Nayeon back. 
[10:26pm] You: That was cool
[10:26pm] You: Hey I'll talk to you soon I'm gonna go eat dinner. Have fun on your sleepover
You weren't able to see her reply when Jungkook's name is suddenly plastered all over your screen. You accepted his call on the third ring.
"Hi," you say. You can't help but think about the negative comments on Twitter but Jungkook sounded fine when he answered. 
"Hi, baby," he greeted on his end. "Can I see you?" 
"Sure," you answer almost immediately. You composed yourself before continuing. "Nayeon will be out until morning. Come over?" 
You can feel his smile through the line as he says, "Nice. Be there in five." 
Per his words, Jungkook did arrive in five minutes and when you heard a knock from your front door, you quickly opened it and ushered him inside. 
"Hey," you greet him as he removes his stompers off. He slides on your extra fluffy home slippers, your old one that you have been lending him whenever he would come over. You think it's kind of funny on his feet because the slippers were too small. "I just finished my leftover pizza for dinner so I don't have any food right now. Do you want me to order in?" 
Jungkook shakes his head. "Nah, I'm not really hungry. Unless you are? Wait, nevermind, I'll do that." 
He takes out his phone but you stop him. 
"No, no, it's fine. I actually ordered Chinese while you were on your way so I could beat you to it." You tease. But you kind of meant it, honestly. He needs to stop paying for everything. But also, the pizza didn't cut your hunger and you needed to eat rice, anyway, so you ordered in right after your call with him ended.
Jungkook frowned but then shook his head. "Alright." 
"Water?" You asked, going towards the kitchen. 
"Yes, please." 
He followed you on your way there and when you turned around to give him the glass, he snaked an arm around your waist and kissed you. 
It took you by surprise, but you reciprocated immediately. You mirrored his smile when he broke the kiss. He gazed at you, a fond look on his face, and leaned down to press his forehead to yours and said, "Hi." 
You giggle. "Hi." 
Jungkook presses his mouth on you again and you kiss some more for a little while. It was weird because your kisses usually lead to fucking, but this time it didn't mean anything other than plain kissing, just for the sake of it. You were reminded of that time in high school when you and your first boyfriend often made out (sloppily) in your room because it was all you were ready to do. Jungkook was far more skilled than said first boyfriend, though. And it felt way nicer with him. 
You were the one to pull away, licking your lips and biting the bottom one. "Do you wanna watch something?" 
"Hm. Hopefully you aren't going to make me watch Legally Blonde again." 
Your frown is instant. "I thought you liked that movie?" 
Jungkook chuckles and pecks your lips again but you sulk, especially after hearing his next words, "I do, baby. It's just I'm getting tired of it…" When he sees your frown deepening, he says, "I'm kidding. We can watch it." 
"No, I feel betrayed now." You break free from his hold and down another glass of water. 
He laughed and was about to say more when your doorbell rang, indicating the food delivery just arrived. Jungkook was the one to volunteer. 
"I'll go get it." 
You turned on the TV in the living room and sat on the couch.
Jungkook followed almost as quickly after you, placing the bags of Chinese food on the coffee table. 
"Oh, I think we should watch an Adam Sandlers movie. Just something not so serious." you said just as when Jungkook sat beside you, remembering about his game earlier. You noted that he seemed to be in a good mood when he came in but you never know, maybe he was good at hiding his real emotions or whatever. And, well, maybe you were a little happy to see him laughing like that with you, despite losing an important game.
"I thought you hated him and his movies?" 
You shrug, appreciating that he even remembers that.
"Eh, it's fine. Sometimes shitty movies are funny because they're shitty." 
After a while, you get reminded why you don't watch Adam Sandlers movies. Even Jungkook who laughs at the most stupid jokes didn't find the supposed punchlines of the movie you were watching funny. But somehow, you found yourselves eventually laughing at how unfunny the film was and only a little surprised when you went through the whole Chinese take-outs not even 30 minutes in the movie. 
"His movies always make my film maker dreams deflate." You comment, drinking your water. 
Jungkook looks at you with a surprised expression. "Filmmaker?" 
You try to remember if you mentioned it to him in passing before. By the look on his face, it was probably his first time hearing it.
"Oh," Jungkook nods in thought. "I see you didn't pursue it." 
"Eh, film school is expensive. Also, it's not a very generous industry for women, so." You shrug nonchalantly.
It's a dormant dream for the most part. Sometimes, you want it a lot, but most of the time, not really. But when you were in high school, you really wanted it bad. You were supposed to major in it but it really was expensive and your family couldn't afford and didn't support it. So study education it is, instead. Teaching was a secondary dream that you decided you could pursue, and well, you were doing well with it.
It's a drama you don't want to bother Jungkook with, though. You never had a discussion like this before… and you weren't really sure if you were ready to open up to someone like that. 
"I did videography in first year," he shares. You arch your brow at that, obviously you didn't know. "I liked it and I was supposed to major in multimedia arts but dad said it was either be a lawyer or a doctor if I don't do tech." 
Ah. An overachiever family, you think. His dad owns a really huge tech company – he didn't tell you that himself, you just heard it from other people in your school. He probably doesn't even know you knew that. But you wouldn't be surprised if he told you right now that his family was full of successful professionals. 
"You went with tech." You say. 
Jungkook chuckles. "I did. But I made a bargain and said I would only take it if he lets me play basketball. In fact, he only tolerates that because I'm passing my classes." 
You nodded. Your family is not really that strict. Just very realistic and practical people who want practical lives for their children. They weren't over-controlling that they smother you with decisions you could make yourself. 
"He really hates it, though." Jungkook continues. 
"Basketball?" You ask. 
He nods. "Yeah. He thinks I'm thinking of going professional after I graduate, he doesn't want me to do it." 
"Are you?" You ask, curious. "Going professional, I mean."
Jungkook shrugs. "I don't know yet. I love playing. I also would like to do tech after college, but it feels like I'm just following in his footsteps if I do that. My father's in tech, by the way."
He didn't say it directly, but you feel like he's probably being pressured by his dad to do this and that. And that makes you feel bad. Jungkook was always so easy-going, so laidback in a way that you would think he was just some varsity casanova asshole with zero care about their future because they think their looks could get them by through their lives, but he really wasn't anything like that at all. He joined basketball because he loves it, maybe he gets a high from people admiring him for it but you could say he does it mostly for himself. That's why he trains so hard and plays so hard on court. Aside from that, he was also really smart – which gets overlooked quite often because of his jock persona, and you know that because you were one of those who did overlook his intelligence because he was a varsity. But he was smart, alright. He takes his studies seriously just as basketball. 
Jungkook is admittedly a lot of great things. And it was sad that his family seemed to not support him, the way you see it.
You didn't really know what to tell him. Is he opening up? It's just that… you never really talked about these things before and what he's saying right now is so far from your usual lighthearted and casual conversations and interactions. You drew a conclusion that he probably has a tight relationship with his dad, but you don't know what to do with that entirely new information. 
"Uhm, you're good at it, basketball," And his studies, too. You wanted to say but didn't. You add, "I saw your beater buzzer from the game earlier. It was really cool." 
"It's buzzer beater-- hey, how did you know about that?" He says with an amused smile. You feel slightly embarrassed at how you mixed up the term but it was kind of complicated, alright! And you were kind of nervous. You find it comforting that he doesn't tease you about it, though.
"Oh, well. Nayeon texted me about it. Also, you're like, trending on Twitter." You just told what Nayeon said. You actually didn't know if he was trending because you didn't have an account in the first place. "But don't go look there, though, you'll have a migraine." 
Jungkook chuckles and leans back on the couch, relaxed in that position. "Yeah. People on the net can be real assholes about people they don't know." 
That comment makes you frown. That probably meant he saw the negative feedback, right? Was he used to it? That would be… upsetting if he was. You knew about the local popularity of the athletes in your school, especially the football and volleyball and basketball players. Jungkook is obviously included in that circle but you feel bad that he has to deal with unnecessary hate. Jobs really are needed for chronically online people, you think bitterly.
Before you could say anything, Jungkook's phone rang and you didn't mean to look at his screen but you saw "Dad". He declined the call. 
"He's talking my ear off about the game earlier," Jungkook shakes his head. "He acts real concerned over my loss for someone who's very unsupportive of my basketball career." He was grinning while he said it but you could hear the annoyance in his tone, how he shut down his phone to probably dodge future calls from his father.
You turned to the movie in front of you.
"Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't able to go." You said, effectively changing the subject.
"Hm?" You meet Jungkook's gaze. He smiles a little. "Ah, I read your text earlier, it's fine." 
You nodded and tried to focus on the movie again, but you haven't been following the plot and so you had no idea what they're showing you now. 
Jungkook suddenly speaks. 
"So are you planning to teach once you graduate?" 
Oh. Is he…? 
You could feel his genuine curiosity in that question. But you find yourself hesitating to engage in any more deep conversation with him. It's not that you didn't want to share… you're just not that kind of person. Is he expecting you to lay out your personal drama? 
You choose not to.
"Uh, hopefully."
You could see that he was waiting for some more. But what was it? You didn't feel like sharing. And anyway, you were only fuck buddies, right? Are you suddenly becoming bestfriends who tell each other about everything? 
You awkwardly shifted in your seat, eyes trained on the screen in front of you but you felt Jungkook's stare even while you weren't looking at him, his eyes boring holes in your side profile. 
You decided to not think too much about the awkward silence throughout the next few minutes, but Jungkook suddenly stood up. 
"I should get going," Jungkook announces. 
And you didn't expect to feel so bummed about it. But somehow, you were relieved. There was suddenly a certain strange energy around and you didn't know if you could take any more of it.
"Ah, yeah, it's kind of late…" you trail off. 
Jungkook smiles at you but it doesn't reach his eyes. You delude yourself into thinking it was not fake. He's never faked a smile with you before. 
"Thanks for the food and for inviting me over."
"No biggies." You say as you follow him towards the door. 
It's silent again when he wears his shoes, and once he was set and ready to go, you could feel that your smile was hesitant as he bid his goodbye. 
"See you around." 
He didn't offer anything more – he would usually tease you as he goes out, just to rile you up before you part ways. Jungkook just gave a final wave and went on his way.
You had a hard time sleeping that night.
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It wasn't hard to avoid Jungkook all week when he himself seemed to be outdoing you in it.
For the record, you weren't actually avoiding him for all sense of the word. You needed your space to collect your thoughts from that night and were trying to recover from the awkwardness of the situation because Jungkook and you might not be the best of friends but you've never been awkward with each other like that before.
But maybe you should be a little relieved that he hasn't been texting, or that you haven't heard from him. Because you weren't sure if you were able to manage getting out of your shell so soon.
It didn't mean that it didn't sting a bit when he didn't even spare you a glance the other day as you passed each other in the hallways and perhaps you should be celebrating, because yey, he finally did not acknowledge you in some way like meet your gaze and give you a small smile with so many people around that might notice and make a big deal out of it? 
But you wore the black skirt he liked so much! He was supposed to text you something stupid like "nice skirt :) i wanna see it pooled around my lap" by the end of the day but no! No such thing happened. 
Was he mad at you, is that it? Why would he be mad though? Did he seem mad that night? Did you do something that guaranteed him being mad? As far as you knew, you did not say anything that warranted a silent treatment from him. Did you? Wait, is he actually giving you the silent treatment? 
When Thursday came, you found yourself watching their fourth game on TV together with Nayeon. You got a slight whiplash because it felt like your first time seeing Jungkook's face in a long while. Somehow, he looked even better on TV, and he was so serious whenever the camera caught him. You supposed he ought to be, but you've never seen him that serious before. He would smile whenever they scored, and maybe it was a little embarrassing for your heart to do a little jump when you saw that toothy grin again, after so long.
You were slow to understand shit about the game, but you got the whole gist of it eventually. 
Unfortunately, though, the tight game resulted to your university losing in the end.
You wanted so badly to text him something, anything, but you felt like you weren't on texting terms, so you went to your Instagram and sent Jungkook a direct message. 
[11:58pm] ynblips: Hi! I watched the game on TV and it was really tight and you did so well :)
You were mostly not expecting a reply, so you were only a little disappointed when you indeed didn't get one even after a day passed. But he liked it, only liked it. Which kind of pissed you off.
What was his deal? You've gathered that you, apparently, weren't on speaking terms, for some reason. But this was ridiculous. If he had a problem with you, he should be upfront about it. Not make you guess with this stupid giving-you-the-cold-shoulder thing when you didn't even deserve it. For god's sake, you knew that last meeting was awkward but you both usually do a good job of swerving those situations and moving on and acting casual! You've been casual for four months! This relationship was supposed to be easy. Smooth-sailing. So what changed now? 
Nayeon noticed your crankiness earlier this day, and it concerned you, how much this whole thing was affecting you.
But you've grown tired of not knowing anything. You were tired of guessing why Jungkook was being like this. 
So you were a woman with a mission today. You planned to talk to Jungkook so he could finally be a big boy and talk to you about his obvious problems with you. Because it had to be that, right? He wouldn't talk to you because he had issues with you. 
Later that day, your mission was made easy when you saw him at the library. 
You're only a little surprised with yourself when you walk towards his direction with the presence of many people around. Yeah, whatever. 
"Hey," you called. 
You could see Jungkook's eyes widening a little as he turns around to see you, his hand stopping from taking notes as he looks up at you. 
"Oh, hey," he greets you, but you can see he is a little confused as he takes out his airpods. You never talked to him on school grounds whenever people were around. He neither did, though. It was a mutual agreement. 
"We need to talk." 
Jungkook looks in between you and the book and notes he was doing, and you would understand if he tells you to fuck off because he was busy – maybe not with those exact words because you'd probably take it to heart and cry about it, but he's taken you by surprise when he says, 
"Okay. Let me just fix this." Jungkook closes his book and his notebook, stuffing them in his bag. 
You anxiously tap your shoe on the floor, though not with sound, aware of the people looking at your interaction with the school's basketball star player. 
"Where to?" He asks as he slings his bag over his shoulder. 
"Just, uh, follow me." 
He surprisingly does without further questions, and you begin to second-guess yourself about being kind of mad at him for seemingly being mad at you. Maybe you were reading too much into these past few days? Maybe he really wasn't mad at you and you just assumed so because he suddenly stopped texting you? It's not that you needed an explanation for why he wasn't talking to you suddenly. He had a life outside having a friends with benefits situation with you and you know that. 
Jungkook stopped when you halted your steps at the far end of the library. It was the old theology section and no one really comes around here anymore so it was quiet and free of lingering, poorly hidden stares from other strangers, who you prefer to not be included in this conversation you are about to have.
Shit, should you have just texted him and told him to come over so you could talk more in private? But you doubted he would reply, and anyway, Nayeon would be home so you had no private space to do that. 
"Okay," you start. "Let's talk." 
Jungkook quirks a brow, leaning back on a cabinet. 
You look at him one more time and sigh. 
"You've been avoiding me." You didn't really mean to say it in such a heavy tone, but it came out that way and you couldn't take it back. 
Jungkook is caught off guard. 
You frown. "You're avoiding me. And I don't know why and I don't usually care when people are upset with me because most of the time it's about something stupid but I don't want to guess anything with you so just say it now." 
There, you've blurted it all out. 
Jungkook took a long time, but you feel yourself getting angry when he only says, "I'm not upset with you." 
Really? Really?! Is he really planning to gaslight you now? What's next, is he going to call you crazy for thinking that he was mad at you because he suddenly stopped talking to you altogether? Un-fucking-believable. 
"I know you are, just say it." You say, trying to balance your emotions. He really is gonna call you crazy if you lash out. 
"I'm just busy with practice." but the way he said it so dismissively, like he wanted to be anywhere but here right now, makes you frown even harder. 
"You can't even text me?" You called out. You didn't know why you said that, because you did just tell yourself it wasn't a big deal if he didn't text you, but it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt when he confirmed it,
"I don't have to explain to you why I don't have a lot of free time to spare you a text." 
You bite back your tongue. Wow, is he going for asshole today? But it hurt, because it was true. He didn't need to give you an explanation. You weren't anything important, and nor was he in your life, in any way, so why are you genuinely hurt by this?
When Jungkook noticed your silence, a flash of conflict in his expression, he decided to add, "Look…" he trailed off, as if not really having any idea what to say next. When he gave you that placating look, you knew he was about to say something that will completely piss you off. "Is it about the sex? I'm sorry we haven't been able to do that the past few days. Do you want to have sex today?"
You felt anger boiling in your chest as soon as he said that.
He really is going for asshole today.
Like, what in the actual fuck? He thinks you're confronting him because you haven't been having sex? Why would he say that like you were just some desperate whore frothing in the mouth to bed him? Does he think of you so low like that? Did he not consider that maybe you were just genuinely concerned of feeling so distant to him right now? 
You swallow the lump in your throat and scowl at him. 
"You know what, fuck you. I've asked you nicely what's your problem with me."
Jungkook was visibly surprised with your outburst, and you were disappointed in yourself to even show an ounce of reaction to that bullshit he just said.
But he just looks away, eager to avoid the look on your face. "You didn't ask that, you went ahead and accused me of avoiding you when you've been doing the same thing." 
"Oh, so you are admitting to avoiding me. So what's your problem? Say it." You demanded. But Jungkook wasn't having any of it. 
"I don't have a problem. What's your problem? Why are you acting so upset about all of this?" 
To even throw that on your face was cruel, and you think you saw a flash of hesitation on his face when he said that, but it was blank after a split second. It's blank until now, like he doesn't really give a shit. 
"I just want you to talk to me if you're upset with me about something." You say, even though that wasn't really what you intended to say. It felt like defeat.
You feel pathetic all of a sudden, remembering his words. Why are you so upset about all of this? Because clearly, you care. And apparently, he did not. He didn't have to put that to words. He didn't have the right to hurt you like this. 
"Talk?" Jungkook repeats. "Are you going to listen this time?" 
His words have a bite to them, like he means more than that. And that night flashes in your head. When he was opening up to you, and you chose to disengage by being cagey and avoiding it all together because you felt weird about it. 
When you don't answer, Jungkook sighs. 
"I have practice in five minutes. I'll see you around." 
He doesn't even say goodbye or spare you a last glance when he walks away. 
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You are a turtle. 
Obviously, not literally. But turtles, when bombarded, reflexively duck their heads inside their shells to protect themselves before any damage could be done to them. And the same could be said about you. 
You avoid problems like a champ. It's the only sport that you're really great at. And to avoid problems, one must limit themselves in creating connections with people because relationships tend to cause more distraught than happiness. At least, that's what you like to believe in. 
Growing up, you've never really had a lot of friends. You had a small circle in high school but you didn't see a significant value in your connection. Maybe because you grew up in an environment where love was non-existent and the relationships in your house were transactional at best, still are. Until now, you have no idea if your parents loved each other at one point or if they were always like that with each other; like two different strangers working jobs during the day that just happen to have the same house to go to at night so you and Jini have some people to call "mom" and "dad". You guessed you'll never know, but it was hard not to think that their relationship has always been the latter. Your relationship with your sister mirrors that of your parents', though, so you can't really criticize them for not acting like partners enough.
When you were young, you hated the way you approached friendship or any sort of relationships a lot. You hated how it was so easy for others to befriend one another, how it was easy for girls your age to have a life outside of studying. You hated how easy it was for other people to not build these sturdy walls whenever someone approached them. But you just kind of grew into it along the way… 
Social networking is important for college, though, and you were forced to have friends but you did make friends willingly along the way. It was not that you are a total sociopath, nor do you think you are one. Nayeon was a sweetheart who was very likeable and you've had the pleasure of being roommates with her for two years now. You are close to a certain point, but it wasn't like you were best friends. She was two years older than you and was on her last year of college and had her own close circle of friends. The closeness was a result of living a domesticated life with each other because you lived in the same house. But you genuinely like her.
And you've actually met more people you genuinely liked when you went to college, not just her. Like Taehyung. He was a fun conversationalist, and you feel like you could totally hit it off only if you weren't too hesitant to befriend him. Juyeon is probably the most hardworking woman you've ever met, and most of your liking towards her has a lot to do with the respect and admiration you have for her. And then Jungkook…
Well... he was everything you imagined him not to be.
You still remember the first time you saw him during orientation day. He wore this huge white sweatshirt and light-washed cargo pants with some stomper boots, hair curly and so fluffy as he slung his bag over his shoulder, talking animatedly with a friend. You've had crushes in high school (like that one senior guy from the debate team who turned out to be an asshole so you got over it pretty quickly) but it was the first time you've ever felt so strongly like that. Your crush faded eventually though when you learned he was a jock.
However, the universe made different plans. You both had the same code for your first term Philo class and got partnered on a project, and unexpectedly, he turned out to be smart, kind, witty, so unbelievably handsome and attractive and actually wasn't an asshole like you thought he was when you found out he played in the varsity team. That was the start of your pathetic minor pining over the guy and then four months ago happened.
You hit it off at a random party Nayeon told you to come with her to. Had enjoyable sex. And then another. Until you both talked about the agreement – the stupid agreement that you have now still. 
You like him a lot. Always have. In more ways than one. 
You were an expert in hiding your feelings so it never really got in the way. And anyway, you aren't ready for a relationship so the arrangement has always been perfect for you. 
But you hated that. Because, really? This part of your life feels like some pages taken out of a shitty young adult fiction book. Falling for the popular jock at school at the same time your fuck buddy. It wasn't supposed to be like that. You weren't supposed to like him more than you already have because you were both clear at what you wanted when you started it. But it happened and all those fun times with him at the abandoned lot and the soft kisses and gentle smiles and fond gazes and funny conversations and his stupid teasings are most likely going down the drain because you hurt him with your inability to face your feelings. 
You aren't stupid. You know Jungkook likes you too. You know the past few weeks have been dangerously teetering outside the line of being fuck buddies but you went along with it because who wouldn't? What were you to do, anyway? Confront it? You've never been confrontational. 
So when Jungkook tried to get to know more than your outer surface by opening up to you about things that probably no one other than you knew, you cowered. 
You cowered out because you were afraid of what that would entail. You've never done it, opening up to people. You've never known anyone to a point like that. You just weren't the type to get too close to others, them letting them you in their lives just as you let them in yours. That wasn’t who you were and you’ve always been contented with that for most of your life.
But it wasn't fair to Jungkook and it wasn't fair to you. It wasn't fair to Jungkook because he deserved to know that you care. He deserves to know that you want to know him, too. You want to be close to him more than just the physical, sexual aspect of your relationship. You want to know his intentions behind the overly kind, almost special way he treats you, his caring words, the meaning behind his soft kisses after sex, the purpose behind those kisses that didn't lead to sex.
And lastly, you want him to know that you were sorry for the other night.
So when another Friday rolled, you finally mustered up the courage to go to his game. It was the last game, after all. You wanted to show up. 
The venue was crowded and chaotic and you seriously wanted to ditch but you decided it was fine. You were gonna injure it if it meant you finally got to see Jungkook physically in court. 
And saw him, you did. Even though you were in the middle row seats and wearing a cap because you oddly felt unwelcomed and didn't want to be seen by him – as if he would even want to see you. But it was whatever. 
Jungkook was… amazing. That was really the only adjective you could use to describe how he was. Maybe you were a little biased but he was the greatest out of all the ten people running around the court. He just stood out, even when someone else did the good job of scoring. 
And people around you seemed to think so too because whenever he did get to score or was the one holding the ball or his face got shown on the huge screen, everyone just lost it.
The match was tight again so it bled into five games. Your Uni just needed to win the last one and they would successfully bring the trophy home.
You found yourself silently cheering for your team, specifically Jungkook, though it felt strange to you because this was your first sports game, after all. But it felt good to do it. It also felt good to see other people so passionate at cheering him and his team too, especially after you read all that hate against him on the internet the other week.
And it felt especially great when they did win in the end of it all. 
The stands went wild as the game finished with your Uni scoring a solid 94 and 86 for the other. 
You've stayed long to see Jungkook being awarded the MVP title, but not long enough to find it difficult to get an Uber as you went home. 
Nayeon got to your place later than you, but you learned that she wasn't at the game earlier but was in a study group instead.
You ordered dinner for the both of you, just some Chinese that you quickly finished up. 
By 11 pm, you were panicking. 
You had a solid plan yesterday. You were supposed to go to Jungkook and apologize to him and whatever but how the hell were you going to do that when you had no idea where he was now? Ugh. You should've approached him after the games earlier! But you didn't feel comfortable doing that with so many people around… 
You saw your phone on your night stand and got an idea to just text him. But you didn't know if he was going to respond. If he was going to tell you to fuck off, you at least didn't want to receive that through text. 
So you opted for the last and craziest option you've got. 
[11:08pm] You: Hello, Taehyung! I know we haven't talked in a while and I'm sorry for texting you now, I just have some questions if you don't mind :) Congrats on winning Finals by the way, it was a great game.
You anxiously wait for his reply that you received not even a minute after you sent your text. 
[11:08pm] K. Taehyung: hi __ HAHAHHA im a bit surprised to see your name on my phone!! we've never gotten around having that coffee 😅 but thank you for the congrats! hit me with those questions i don't mind 
[11:09pm] You: It's a real bummer that we've both been so busy ): 
[11:10pm] You: But I was wondering if you know where Jungkook is? Last week he lent me a jacket when he saw me pour a drink on myself at Starbucks, haha. So I was thinking I should give it to him now but I have no idea how to
Listen, it wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a complete lie either. You indeed needed to find Jungkook, and he lent you a jacket weeks ago which you needed to return but you forgot about it and conveniently remembered it just earlier when you were trying to conjure up an excuse to see him. You definitely lied about the Starbucks thing, though. You don't even go there.
[11:10pm] K. Taehyung: oh i was actually just talking to him awhile ago. he wouldn't go to the after-game party. said he was gonna stay up all night to play overwatch or something 
[11:10pm] K. Taehyung: I can text you his address if you want to come over like right now
You feel like you aren't supposed to just give your friends' addresses away like that but it is flattering to think that Taehyung must trust you enough to not assume you were a psychopath serial killer or something. 
[11:11pm] You: Yes, please. Thank you so much, Taehyung. Catch up on that coffee hang another time
You got an Uber to drive to his place. You tried not to think too much about the fancy complex and how there were elevators instead of just stairs like yours but you managed to get to Jungkook's place through Taehyung's text. 
You pressed a button upside the knob. It created a loud buzz and you tighten your fingers around the ribbon handles of the paper bag that got his jacket inside. 
It was the perfect excuse. You did need to return it to him. And if you got too flustered or scared to talk to him further, you were just going to leave right after he takes it from you and just accept the fact that he probably really hates you now because you were a mean person who— 
The door opens, revealing Jungkook. A shirtless, wet Jungkook. 
Jungkook has a hint of shock in his eyes when he comes face to face with you. You've never been here, for the record. And he was probably wondering how the hell you got his address.
"Uh," you start. You thrust the paper bag towards him. "Here. It's your jacket from weeks ago. I washed it already. Thanks for lending me it."
You see his hesitation when he takes it from you, and it makes your nerves go haywire. 
Jungkook mumbled a little thanks. He stood there for a moment, probably still not getting the shock out of his system. As each second passed, you felt the need and the urge to go, but his voice cut that idea in your head.
"Uh. Do you wanna come in?" 
"Yes." Maybe it was too much of an immediate answer, but you needed to. If you were to stand outside much longer, your courage will wear down and you might miss an opportunity to talk to him. 
Jungkook stepped aside and further invited you in. Your steps were a little shy as you followed him inside, watching as he took a pair of Nike sliders and offered it to you as you removed your birkens off your feet.
"Thank you." You tell him, sliding your feet on the slippers that were definitely too big for you. 
He gave you a small smile in return. That gave you a bit of hope that it would go well tonight. 
"I'm just gonna go and change into something. You can sit here," You followed behind him into the living room of his rather huge flat. Really, this was more of a condo unit than an apartment. "There's– sorry. I wasn't– it's kind of messy here right now but I was busy the past few days. It's not usually like this here." 
Jungkook hastily arranged the scattered throw pillows on the couch. You even hear him hissed as he picked up a bowl and some take-out trash on the coffee table. He reached for something in the tight corner of the couch, holding up a remote awkwardly for you.
He quickly looked away from you though, turning to his huge TV (it was literally a jumbotron) and making it light up. It showed some kind of game on pause. "I'm sorry, I was playing something earlier. Uh, do you want to play anything? I have a lot of games." He continued to say.
And you realized Jungkook was panicking. He was rambling, talking words over his own words, jumping from one thing to another and hastily cleaning up the space in the living room.  
It was… adorable. The way he was kind of scrambling… to accommodate you? Eh. But it was nice. Nice to know that you aren't the only one panicking.
"Thanks for the offer, but I don't really play anything." You say honestly. You don't like gaming. It's stressful. 
"Oh…" Jungkook trails off then his eyes set on the kitchen. "Oh shit wait, do you want water? Tea? I don't think I have tea but I think I can look for something?" 
You couldn't help the laugh that came out from your mouth but you quickly cut yourself off. 
"Sorry. Uhm. No. I don't want anything." Truthfully, you wanted water but Jungkook needed to change into something immediately. You may not exactly be talking talking right now but his body and tattoos were nice to look at and you didn't want it to distract you too much. It felt wrong to admire him like that when you were not exactly in great terms. 
"You sure?" When you nodded, Jungkook did the same too, but more like to himself. "Okay. I'll just get to my room." 
You sat on his nice leather couch and looked around as Jungkook changed.
It was such a nice place. You could see that it was indeed expensive. The space was definitely, like, three times larger than your own and it even seemed to have another room on the far end. You didn't know if Jungkook lived alone, he never mentioned anything about it. 
You still didn't find yourself completely relaxed as Jungkook emerged from his room. 
The fringe of his bangs are still wet from his shower, but he's now changed into a grey hoodie with matching shorts. 
"Hey," he said as he walked towards you and sat on the couch. The distance was far but not totally that you end up being on the opposite sides. 
"Hi," you greeted him back. "You have a nice place." 
He smiles. "Thank you." 
The atmosphere was incredibly awkward, you could feel that. But you pushed yourself to go through it. 
"Congrats on the game earlier." You tell him sincerely. 
"Ah… thanks." 
"I went there." 
"Really?" You could see the understandable surprise in his face after hearing your words. "I didn't see you." 
You chuckle lightly. "Hm. You were too serious and busy in court to see me."
Jungkook shyly looks away. 
"I– well. You should have told me. I could've gotten you a nice seat. Did you get a nice seat?" The sentiment was cute but surprising at the same time. After that time in the library, you wouldn't have expected him to get you a nice seat. 
"It was okay." 
It didn't look like he would say anything more, but you were a little relieved to have a break from the atmosphere when the door buzzed again, indicating someone coming. 
You feel your heart jump. You didn't know why your mind went to such dark places like him having someone over to do– what? Ugh. Jungkook wouldn't do that, would he? Honesty was what you agreed on when you started this agreement. You promised to tell each other right away if you start sleeping with other people because of health reasons. 
"That must be the pizza." Jungkook murmurs as he stands up.
You almost sigh in relief.
Okay. So no other women coming over. 
Jungkook comes back a moment later with three boxes. 
"I thought we could eat something," he said as he sat on the couch again, this time a little closer than earlier. He looked at the TV, still on that game he was playing. He placed the pizza on the table and took the remote to exit out of his game, pressing some buttons on it and eventually the screen loaded to Netflix. "You wanna watch something?" 
That would be nice, actually. 
"Okay… uh. Legally Blonde?" 
You couldn't help your eyebrow from raising. 
Jungkook laughs a little. You're a little surprised to hear it. It felt like eons ago since you've heard it.
"I like it a lot." He shrugged and then looked it up on Netflix, clicked the movie poster and pressed play.
You start eating the pizza on the couch. You were obsessed with Legally Blonde probably an abnormal amount but this time, its entertainment didn't affect you full force because at the back of your head, you're still trying to figure out how to speak up the words you really wanted to say to Jungkook. 
"Hey…" you suddenly speak. You hesitate for a while but then let out a heavy breath. Jungkook looks at you because of that. "I'm sorry." 
His confusion was anticipated. He face looks like he was ready to ask, but you continue, 
"About the other night. Uh. When you went over. I'm sorry. I made you feel like I didn't care but…" you train your gaze to the remote on the corner of the couch. "But I do, Jungkook. I care about you. It's just that, it freaked me out, you know? People never felt comfortable enough with me to share such personal things and I've always been okay with that because I'm not exactly—" you cut yourself off, trying to organize your thoughts. But you give up because there was no use in doing such. You wanted to be honest as much as possible. "I know I don't exactly strike people as someone who can care. And, well, that's true, you know? People always tell me that I almost function like a robot. So, uh, I freaked out, because I thought you trusted me enough to do that and I felt like I didn't deserve it, your trust I mean. And so I acted like that because I didn't know what—"
"Hey," Jungkook stopped you before you could go on a full spiral. You didn't notice because of your rambling earlier but he was closer this time. "Breathe. It's fine. I have all the time to listen to you." 
It was such a sweet sentiment, paired with his charming smile. You feel your heart jump and look away from his gaze. 
There. He's calling you that name again. Has he forgiven you? Were you both on that terms again? But he couldn't have forgiven you that fast! 
"Baby, look at me," you did, because he held your face in his warm hands, making you look at him. You could feel your cheeks tingle in his hold. "I’m actually so glad you came here tonight. I appreciate your apology, and I accept it." He says, voice sounding so sincere.
You looked down, feeling like you don't deserve it at all. 
"I've been thinking, you know?" Jungkook lifts your chin up with his fingers, smiling, such mirth behind it that you think he was probably thinking you were going to tease him about his words. But you didn't feel like joking with him right now. "I totally didn't think things through that night. I shouldn't have told you all about my personal dramas–" 
Oh, no. That's exactly what you thought you made him feel that night, and for him to verbalize it, it hurts you. Because you knew you truly made him feel that way. It wasn't your intention but you knew your reaction –or lack thereof– threw him off. 
"No, no. I should have—" 
"No, ___, I shouldn't have dumped all of that onto you expecting you to have a say about it and be disappointed and extremely hurt when you didn't. We don't know each other a lot, I know that. I know now that I must've really freaked you out a lot and made you uncomfortable with me telling you all about those when we made it clear that this relationship was never going to be like that, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dumping. I kind of… realized you maybe you just wanted some lazy time with me that night but you got that instead. So I'm sorry. I believe you are also apologetic about it, but I'm saying don't be. It was all on me." 
Jungkook's words were a jumbled mess in your head that you were surprised to even get them. 
"I–no, no. Kook– I… told you, I care about you. I—" you felt a metaphorical block in your head, and it made you cut yourself off. But then you remember his words and so you continue, "I didn't just– look. It was unexpected, and I told you I just freaked out because I didn't know where we stood and I just felt like I wasn't deserving to know you like that. But I care a lot about you."
Jungkook was quiet for a while, and you feared he was contemplating and thinking you were just lying to get over everything with. But then his face softens at your words. "I care a lot about you, too," He says, and then it contorts a little, as if he remembered something. "That's why I'm also… I'm also sorry about that time at the library. I was a complete asshole to you. I wanted to be mean because I was hurt but none of it was your fault. I really am sorry." 
Your head takes you back to that time in the library. He did hurt you with the harsh words he'd spoken, but his apology sounded sincere and you believe it. 
"Yeah. Uhm. I'm sorry about cornering you there. I should've texted you that I wanted to talk but I wasn't sure if you were going to reply." 
Jungkook looked a little shameless for reasons that you couldn't think of. 
"I'm sorry about that. I acted like such a boy about the whole thing. You don't deserve to be ghosted suddenly because you hurt my feelings without you even really knowing why. I should've talked to you properly." 
You bite your lip, feeling like you were suddenly going to cry. 
You know it was the bare minimum, and even though he said you had nothing to be sorry about, you still feel oddly emotional about someone apologizing to you. You'd never been apologized to sincerely even when a lot of people have done you wrong and hurt you before. They always thought you didn't care or just got over things quickly because apparently, people had the impression that you weren't the type to feel anything. 
"I like you a lot." You blurt out. 
It was stupid. It was so stupid to say that in the middle of this conversation, but your mouth was running faster than your brain and you couldn't help it. 
"Really?" Jungkook grins, and it was quite big. Your heart beats faster in your chest. "I really like you, too. Like, a lot. Probably more than you do."
You meet his eyes finally. They hold such fondness for you, and you've always noticed. Right now, you're berating yourself for pointedly ignoring that before, but his dark eyes serve as a distraction. They were so ominous and so big and looked like they had the stars in them. And he was so handsome. Suddenly, your gaze falls to his lips and quickly trains to the mole under the bottom one. You've always wanted to kiss it but never did so because… because well. It would be weird, right? But then you remember that Jungkook always kisses that mole in between your boobs, though… 
You blush at the thought and look away. 
"That's nice." You said, not really knowing how to respond. 
Jungkook chuckled and twisted himself to look forward again, at the TV playing Legally Blonde. 
It was like that for a while and you found that the weight you've been carrying all week on your back felt like it's been lifted, finally. 
This night was going really, really well. 
And so well it went.
Legally Blonde ended and you and Jungkook somehow ended up being closer. So close that his arm just found its way around your shoulders, your leg across his, his other arm wrapped around that leg to pull you impossibly closer to him onto the next film. 
It's been half an hour into the new movie but if you were honest, your brain wasn't really on it. It was on how Jungkook held you delicately, his mouth pressing kisses on the crown of your head occasionally, almost absentmindedly. Your thoughts were filled with the soft, gentle caresses of his hand on your leg, and how you would feel his eyes even when you weren't looking. It was all so tender and just so, so incredibly nice. 
When you yawned, Jungkook immediately checked on you with a light chuckle. 
"Sleepy?" He asks. 
You shake your head but another yawn forced its way out of your mouth again. You let your head fall dramatically on his chest as he laughed. 
"I gotta go…" you said, thinking that it's probably late as hell and dark outside. But you found that you really didn't want to. The material of his hoodie was so soft and his presence was just so calming and it sounded undeniably cheesy but you wanted to be held by him a little more. 
"You could stay." 
That made you look up at him. 
"You can stay here, if you want. Sleep over." 
A flash of hesitation on his beautiful face.
"Only if you want to, of course. I'll drive you home if you wanna go." He offers quickly, as if embarrassed to even suggest the thing he said earlier. 
But you did want to stay. But… he never stayed over at your place. You didn't let him and he never expressed a little bit of desire to do so, anyway. Would it be unfair if he never slept over at yours but you would at his now? What did your conversation today change? When he said "I like you", did that mean it was okay for you to stay the night? 
"Uhm, I'd like to stay here, if it's okay with you." You said, throwing your inhibitions away. There was no room for more denials in your heart. 
Jungkook's bright grin made your worries subside. He definitely wants you to stay as much as you do. 
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"It's okay for you? Sorry, I don't have a lot of pillows…" Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck and looked at you sheepishly. 
You waved him off. "It's fine. Hey, come here now." 
Jungkook did a poor job of hiding a big grin again as he slid on the bed with you.
When you twisted yourself so your back was facing him, about to reach for your phone on the night stand to see if Nayeon replied to your text telling her you wouldn't be home until morning, Jungkook also did the same and wrapped his arm around your waist, basically spooning you. 
And you realized that oh, he'd mistaken you for wanting to be a little spoon… 
But it was cute. And you really like him holding you, so you pretended it was your intention all along and decided to just check your phone tomorrow morning.
"You smell good." He said against your ear. You smiled at the way it tickled a bit.
"I don't think I do anymore, but thanks." You showered right after coming home as the game ended but that was many hours ago, so surely Jungkook must just be speaking nonsense. And anyway, he was the one who smelled nice because he did just get out of the shower. He smelled like that certain apple scent he always did. 
"No, really. Like flowers. I always liked that about you." 
"Eh, it's probably just my bath and body works body wash." 
"Really?" You felt him sniff up your arm and you giggled. That reaction encouraged him to do it more until his nose reached your armpit. It tickled so much that you thrashed and turned and bit his arm. His laughter got louder as you did so, but you only pouted at him. 
"Okay, sorry, sorry," Jungkook said but he didn't look like it. You didn't expect it but he suddenly kissed your forehead. Your eyes reflexively closed at the feel of his lips on your skin. 
You open them once again only to see Jungkook staring into your eyes again, quite intensely that you feel like he was there looking right into your soul. 
"I missed you." He whispered, his hand that was around your waist tightening, the other clearing up your face from stray hairs. 
"I really missed you too." you said as sincerely as you could. Because you really did, and you hope he could feel it and believe it just like you did his words. 
A few seconds after and then his lips finally touched yours and it was such a relief that you sighed against them. It was a slow kiss. Sweet and too short but you didn't really mind when Jungkook looked at you again like you hung the stars in the sky. 
"Let's sleep baby, turn around for me again." He said and you wanted to reprimand him for ordering you around but you didn't really feel like you needed to. You didn't really have complaints about being the little spoon in this cuddling session, anyway.
It was only about a minute of silence when Jungkook suddenly spoke.
"Babe, I know I'm probably going to ruin this wholesome moment but can I hold your boob while we try to sleep?" 
And you couldn't help but laugh because who wouldn't. 
"Go for it." You said, settling against his chest, getting more comfortable. Jungkook was only too happy to let you, letting out a low happy hum as he held you tighter, another hand wandering inside the worn out shirt you were wearing that he lent you for the night. 
The contact was cold to the touch at first, but when he gave you a squeeze and finally rested his hand over there, it got warm eventually.
Having a weight on top of your boob while sleeping was definitely a new concept for you, but you found that it was oddly comforting. There was nothing sexual to it, not really. And you thought Jungkook didn't really have any sexual intentions to begin with. 
It was just nice to have his hand on your breast. 
"So soft," Jungkook whispered at some point and you just chuckled in between putting yourself in slumber.
It's been hard to settle in bed peacefully the previous nights after that debacle weeks ago, but that moment, you slid to dreamland quite easily; and you were certain it was due to Jungkook's warm body all over yours.
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When you blearily open your eyes, the sunlight intruding through the seams of your room, you caught a sight of a very real man's head in between your legs, his dark hair pulled by a headband as he determinedly pleasures your pussy. 
You have awoken in a feverish feeling brought by the dream of a certain man drawing all kinds of shapes on your clit with his skillful tongue. At first, the sensation felt far away, like it was just a distant memory, but you suddenly feel a seemingly too real grip on your thighs and a tentative swipe over the length of your nether region. 
"Jungkook," you sigh, blindingly reaching for his head. 
He hums in your pussy, and it sends a jolt right up your spine. He felt you jumping a little, and that earned a chuckle from him. The vibration of it in your aching heat made your legs quiver. 
"Good morning, baby." 
It was a little disorienting to wake up to Jungkook eating you out so early in the morning, but the pleasure overrode it as you throw your head back on your soft pillows, twisting your face to the side and burying it on the fluffy material as Jungkook sucks on your clit, his finger teasing over the lips of your pussy. 
"Ah, that feels so good…" you moan, thrashing on the bed at the delight brought by his tongue. But Jungkook's strong hold kept your legs wide for him to have complete access to your wet cunt which he's licking like it was a meal he's always wanted to have. 
"Wanna make you feel good," he said, beginning to place open mouthed kisses on your cunt that delivered delirious shivers all over your body. He emphasized his sentiment by bringing two fingers in your hole, sliding them in and out quite easily as you felt yourself gushing every second from his actions. "So wet. You love this, baby? You like what I'm doing?" 
All you could give him was a pathetic little whimper that you hope he understood as he didn't bother to wait for your response and proceeded to wrapped his mouth on your clit again, his tongue flicking the sensitive bud with the steady way his fingers slipped in and out of you, lewd squelches filling the otherwise quiet room except for the chirping bird outside. That sounded oddly poetic. 
But peaceful. Oh, to wake up like this everyday. 
Your grasp on his hair tightened, bringing his face closer to your pussy that you even got a hold of his headband, but you didn't care. All you could think about was how delicious Jungkook is speeding his fingers in your entrance, long and bony digits touching every ridge of your pussy, slowly but surely sending you to your edge. Your breath quickened every second passed, and now you could say you were fully awake. 
Jungkook broke away from you and you were just about to reprimand him about it when he suddenly licked a long, slow stripe over the wet length of your entrance and you cried out.
You were nearly brought to tears when he dove in your core again to repeat his actions from earlier, but this time, he went for messy. So sloppy; his head moving around your pussy, sucking your juices with enthusiasm and making your arch your back on the mattress, his finger rubbing your clit to bring you to your orgasm. 
And he did successfully bring you to it. He did with what seemed to sound like a painful groan of your name from his throat, a husky sound that made your pussy and legs quiver. But that didn't stop Jungkook from lapping at the cum that dripped out. 
You let out a big breath, making yourself bounce on the bed as you fell to it. Exhausted. Spent. 
"Kook," you nudged Jungkook with your foot to his bicep because he was doing that thing again. 
"Wanna clean you up." 
You roll your eyes. It was so counterproductive but you let him be for awhile, relaxing on your back as he quite literally slurped the gush that came and is still coming out from you. That was why him "cleaning you up" was useless. 
"Let me suck your cock." You said, nudging him again. Jungkook peeled his head from between your legs and looked at you, and you nearly moaned at finally seeing his face. He looked insanely hot with his hair around his sweaty hearline pulled by that head band, but the sheen gloss all over his mouth to his chin made you feel just a little shy. 
"Really?" Jungkook asked again, eyes wide, like he was a kid about to receive his gifts from Santa on Christmas morning.
You only hummed, bringing your body in a sitting position. Jungkook grabbed your waist, about to kiss you, but you pushed him on the bed and slid your leg over his thighs, leaning down to make quick work of pulling his boxers down that had a little wet patch on the front and a huge boner that was just begging to be freed. 
Jungkook sighed when you get a hold of his length, not wasting time to tease because as much as you wanted to, you were impatient to taste him and make him cum. 
"F-fuck," Jungkook curses as you pumped his cock, your thumb pressing on his leaking tip. "You're so pretty, baby, you're so good to me."
His groan is elongated as you finally put him in your mouth. You make yourself comfortable by kneeling inside his spread legs, leaning down closer to his crotch and twisting your head to the side so that you could gather your hair in one side. It was always hard to reach deep, but you make do of your hand, twisting your fingers around the remaining length that your mouth could not take. 
It didn't take too long for Jungkook to shake and start speaking sweet nonsense in the wake of his impending orgasm, probably because he had been holding back since he ate you out. But you worked as hard, sucking on his tip, brushing your fingers over his balls here and there, pumping his wet cock in your hand, ignoring the tears that's forming in the corners of your eyes. 
"Baby, I'm cumming," he warned, holding the back of your head to try and get you off but you insisted and let him release in your mouth. 
Jungkook hissed, and you leaned back to jerk his cock for any more cum, swallowing the one in your mouth that you felt had gotten to some parts of your face so you try to lick over your mouth, tasking cum there. He was still cumming, though, just a little, it spurting on your chest and chin. 
You giggled as Jungkook groaned. When you were sure you milked him dry, you let yourself flop on his naked body, draping yourself over it even though he was kind of sweaty and sticky… but you don't really mind. You were just gonna shower later. 
"You're a minx." He said, chuckling, his arm going around your waist and the other resting over one bare ass cheek. 
"I live to make you suffer." you replied, rubbing your cheek against his chest then pressing kisses to it. 
"You're winning." 
That made you laugh. 
After a while, you remove your head on his chest and look down on him. He arches a brow, waiting. And then you dropped your mouth to the mole under his bottom lip. You giggled because Jungkook wasn’t expecting it, shown by the confusion on his face. Before he could say anything, you lock your lips with his, sighing when he reciprocated your kiss right away. 
The kiss takes a U-turn as Jungkook flipped you over so he was the one hovering over you now, hands roaming around your body sending tingles all over your spine to your toes and heat between your legs as he squeezed your breasts. 
He squished the both of them in his huge palms, and you feel his cock twitch against your thigh when he did so, so as the gush of wetness coming from your pussy as he finally dropped his mouth to suck on your pebbled nipples. 
"___, are you—oh my god I'm so sorry!"
Jungkook and you quickly looked over your door, catching Nayeon just as she scrambled to close it. 
"Shit." You hissed.
Jungkook looked at you. And then you both get off of each other, Jungkook going for the sweats he'd folded on a swivel chair in your room, and you putting on your robe and messily tying your hair in a bun with a hair tie. 
"I'm just gonna go outside and talk to her…" you trail off, watching as Jungkook puts his pants on. 
"Okay," he went over to you, holding your face and leaning down to kiss you. "Sorry." 
You licked your lips as he broke the kiss, couldn't help but smile. "It's fine." 
When you went out, Nayeon is at the kitchen drinking water. When she saw you, you gave her an awkward smile. 
She frowned. "I'm really so, sorry, ___. I swear I didn't know you had someone over. I just got back from the overnight study group I texted you about last night and it's 8 am so I thought I could wake you up for class." 
You find yourself smiling genuinely at her explanation. You wave her off and went over to grab a drink of water as well. 
"It's fine. Our prof actually emailed us last night that our 8 am class was gonna be cancelled today so technically my first class is gonna be at 10. But I'm also supposed to be getting ready, so…" 
Nayeon hummed and drank more of her water.
You were just waiting for it. You knew she was so gonna ask you about it. You were kind of nervous but you found that you actually didn't care that much to tell her all about Jungkook. 
So when she finally did ask, you only looked sheepish. 
"So, Jeon Jungkook, huh?" 
You nod.
"I should've known!" Nayeon exclaimed. "You were suddenly interested about basketball and– no, I'm not gonna lie. I did not expect that." 
You bit your lip as you hid half of your face on the rim of your glass. "Yeah…" 
Nayeon suddenly narrowed her eyes at you, and you hold yourself to prepare for what's next. 
"He was your sneaky link all this time?" 
Your eyes widened. "No!" But then you quickly remembered that, technically, he was. But… "but not really. I mean, not anymore?" 
You weren't sure, though. Your relationship with Jungkook for the past month had undergone a shift. You were purely fuck buddies before, and now you fuck and see each other for more than that. You sleep over almost twice a week at his place, have movie nights. He let you know about this game Animal Crossing and you've been obsessed since so sometimes you really just go over his place to play it. Your island was seriously becoming pretty. Also, you started grabbing lunch regularly these days in his car and go on what you can call dates if both your schedule aligned and it's not that you were actively keeping other people from knowing about this sudden change in your relationship, including Nayeon, it was just — your time together was really just spent for pure enjoyment with each other. It was just like: if people saw, then they do. 
Despite that, a label still wasn't put to it. 
You didn't really mind though. 
"Oh, so–your boyfriend?!" Nayeon's tone is laced with surprise, and you flinched at hearing the word boyfriend but you shrugged it off. 
"Uhm, it's very new." Was what you replied. It was the only thing you could offer, honestly. 
Nayeon looked at you for a few seconds and then nods, as if understanding – what? you have no idea – and then turned to the direction of your room. 
You see Jungkook popping out from your door when you looked over. 
"Hi, Nayeon." 
When he emerged, he's fully dressed and it was a bummer that he'd taken out his head band. Whatever, you'd make him wear it later. It was really cute when he wore it. 
"Ohh, here comes the sexy man." 
The casualty of it threw you off a bit but then you suddenly feel grateful to Nayeon for not making a big deal about this whole thing.
So you laughed and joked, "Don't say that! You're going to stroke his ego." 
Nayeon's right eyebrow raised. "Oh, his ego is definitely getting stroked, alright." 
Even Jungkook burst out laughing at the crude implications of her words, and you found the whole thing atrocious. Nayeon only shook her head, but she was smiling. 
"Sorry for interrupting your time together, lovebirds. I brought something for breakfast but I don't think it'll be enough for two people." She said, pointing towards a take-out bag on the kitchen counter. 
"It's fine, thanks Nayeon." 
She waved you off. "I'll just be in my room. Eat first before you do cardio, guys." 
You huff out a laugh at her words again, and so did Jungkook. He walked towards you as Nayeon disappeared in her room, and you smiled at him as he did so. 
Jungkook held your waist and pressed you a little to the refrigerator, but you have no complaints in the way he leaned down to share a slow and soft kiss with you. 
"Breakfast?" He whispered, kissing your cheek. And then your nose. 
You giggled, circling your arms around his neck. He hummed at the contact, like he's always so content and peaceful whenever you touch him.
"I think I'll just get coffee on my way to Uni." you told him. 
That made him frown, though. "That's really not…" you arched your brow as you wait for him to finish his words. He sighed. "Okay. But at least eat some toast? I'll make it for you." 
You nod. "Okay. I'm gonna go shower first, though. I stink." 
As if prompted, Jungkook quickly buried his face to the crook of your neck and whiffed out your scent, dramatically smelling you and then peeling his face away, saying, "Nope, still smell like flowers to me. But I agree, we need a shower." 
He gives you a serious look. "Yes. Water conservation is one of my goals this year." 
You jab on his chest lightly. So stupid. But so handsome and cute that you can't help but pull him close to you and kiss him again. 
Suddenly, Jungkook grabbed your thighs and make you hold on to him as he carried you across the living room. You stopped your own squeal before you could scare Nayeon with it. Jungkook laughed at that and you slap his chest in retaliation.
He went straight to the bathroom and put you on the counter with all the intentions to keep making out with you by the way he was swirling his tongue deliciously against yours, hands squeezing your sides. 
But you really had to shower. 
He whined when you put your hands on his shoulders and broke free from his kiss, pushing him away a little. 
"Don't be a baby. Let's shower," you said, giving him a stern look. He looked petulant for a while, but then suddenly smirked. You narrowed your eyes, pretty sure he had dirty things in his head right now. "No funny business. You literally have class in an hour." 
"I could make you cum in less than that." 
He laughed, kissing you. "I'm kidding."
"Behave. Nayeon is here." 
He only nodded and began taking his clothes off. You also removed your robe from your body, going over to the towel rack to hang it from there. Jungkook stopped in his tracks and shamelessly ogled your naked form and you rolled your eyes, not waiting for him as you stepped in the shower first. He followed right after, smiling at you as he offered to wash your body. 
Jungkook assured you he had no funny business in mind, but you didn't really mind when his hands suddenly got grabby, when he told you that his hands could lather your body wash more effectively than your loofah just so he could massage your boobs in his soapy palms and stayed a little too long over there. You didn't complain when his finger ghosted over your pussy, and you absolutely weren’t mad when he kissed you hotly as the shower ran and water soaked the soap out of your body. 
In fact, you enjoyed it a lot when he pressed you against the wall while his strong arms held you tight as he fucked you open, gasping in your mouth, grunting about how pretty you were and how much you were such a good girl for him. 
He spoke more nonsense in your ear when he turned you around, an arm tight around your breasts, his other hand gripping your waist as he slid his engorged cock in and out of you from behind while you tried to minimize the sound of your cries until you both came. 
You know Jungkook knew his goal to conserve water was doomed from the very start, especially when you ended up taking a second shower because you felt sticky and just unclean. 
But it felt great to come out of the bathroom and have Jungkook dressed the same time as you with the clothes he left in your closet from the other times he's spent over here. 
"I'll see you later." He pressed a quick kiss on your mouth. 
"Okay," he smiled and you failed to resist the urge to kiss him again for the last time. "I'm coming over to play Animal Crossing." 
"You only like me for my Nintendo…" Jungkook jokingly narrowed his eyes at you and you laughed. 
"It took you a long time to figure out?"
Jungkook pouts. "As long as you curl up in my lap while you play it, I can accept that."
"You're cute, baby. But you're late to class, go scram." You shooed him and he chuckled. 
"Okay, kiss me again?" You did. Jungkook smiled and kissed you but on the forehead this time. "Bye, pretty." 
You leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed as you watched him slowly disappear from your pathway with (certainly) a fond look on your face. 
Blurring the lines with your fuck buddy might be cliche, and confronting it might have been hard, but you did it. And he was just as willing and honest with you about his feelings.
And it was worth it.
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© 𝐀𝐖𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐕𝐄 2022. all rights reserved. copying, editing, reposting and translating any of my works are not allowed.
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moonbeamjin · 7 hours
probably when they first talked about their future together like getting married or having kids :(
our beloved summer; a drabble
Jungkook hugs you to his chest as you both sit on his couch, lazily watching Nabi - his niece - play with her toys on the floor. Jungkook's cousin and his wife are in the city for the weekend to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Tonight, as they sneak off for a romantic anniversary dinner, babysitting duty falls onto you and Jungkook.
You let your eyes drift close, listening to the steady beat of his heart and Nabi's soft humming as she entertains herself. It's so comfortable. You could fall asleep like this.
Jungkook nudges your cheek with his nose after a while, maneuvering his head so he can speak into your ear. "I think I want at least 3 kids," he says.
You open your eyes, letting them readjust to the warm lighting of the room before you answer him. "In this economy? Good luck, bud."
He pinches your waist lightly and makes you squirm with a squeak. Nabi pays no attention to you, too preoccupied with the task of dressing her dolls. "You're no fun," Jungkook mutters. "How many kids do you want?"
You consider this for a minute. Sure, you think about it from time to time - it being having a family of your own. Yours and Jungkook's. All because he keeps calling his mom your future mother-in-law. For fun, of course. You both know this. In fact, you like thinking about it. It's unlike you to get all sappy and sentimental about things, but it's somewhat comforting to fantasize about building a home, a future with him. It can't hurt to daydream a little.
"Ideally, two. A boy and a girl," you say. "Realistically? I'm not sure if I'll even have children."
"What? Why? I thought you love kids."
You do your best to shrug, with him holding you like this. You watch Nabi with her little ponytail and chubby cheeks, rainbow socks and sparkly hair pins. "I love kids," you agree, but your next words and how you say them so evenly, so casually, tells Jungkook that while you may go along with his stupid shenanigans and happily play house with him, you know when to stop dreaming. It sounds like a thought you've been holding onto for a long time now. "But every parent fucks up their child. Even if they don't mean to."
You both grow quiet. There's no change in your facial expression, no stiffness in your body as you rest against Jungkook. There's not even a flicker of sadness in your eyes, or maybe it's always been there and he hasn't realized how deeply rooted it is until now. The calmness in your voice as you said it, like you were just talking about the weather, makes him want to cry for some reason.
Jungkook doesn't know what to say, so he just leaves it at that. He cracks a stupid joke just to make you laugh, something about Hoseok's freshly dyed red hair and how it makes his head look like an heirloom tomato from far away. Despite your words ringing in his head and the way they dampen his waterline, he watches you watch Nabi with gentle eyes and a fond smile.
Jungkook doesn't hope to piece you back together, because you’re not broken. You’re just a person carrying a world of hurt. If anything, he just wants to take some of that weight off your shoulders, let you know that he’s here.
So, even with a million things running through his mind, he squeezes you a little tighter and holds you a little closer. Jungkook is with you, and he loves you.
43 notes · View notes
p0ckykiss · 2 months
finals - jungkook
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summary - how were you supposed to pretend you weren't in love with your best friend
Jungkook taking his shirt off wasn’t a new event. It certainly wasn’t out of character for him, considering the guy sweat like a pig in a sauna and seemed to constantly have a body temperature similar to that of an active volcano. But right now, you couldn’t ignore the spectacle that was happening before you.
You’d seen Jungkook’s bare torso more times than you could count on your fingers by now, but right here, right now, it was like the sun appearing from behind dark, grey clouds. Suddenly, your biology mock exam paper was almost forgotten as your pen tightened in your hand.
Inch by inch, Jungkook revealed his tan, smooth skin as if he was auditioning for a job at Abercrombie and Fitch, his jeans hung low on his hips as your eyes zoned in on the V-line you’d heard all about. Your friends had told you repeatedly that Jungkook possessed one of them, but now you were noticing it, the whole thing was a big game changer. When his shirt was all the way off, he had the audacity to turn his back to you, his skin flexing and rippling as he threw the shirt over his head so it would hit you directly in the face. Fuck, how his smell was on you, covering you in a heady mix of rosewood and a hint of the summer sheen of sweat he’d been complaining about. The odd feeling that crept from your stomach out to the tips of your fingers and toes almost made you angry, confused at where all this had come from and what you were meant to do with it.
“Jungkook, you’re disgusting! Get your sweaty ass shirt off my bed,” Throwing it back at your best friend, he simply hiccuped a laugh, a dorky sound that managed to bring you back down to earth a little more. He caught the shirt with one hand, tossing it on the ground where he settled back down to continue working on his paper. You feigned concentration, eyes skipping from the paper below you to Jungkook’s calm, relaxed face as he furrowed his brows. His hair hung over his forehead, and you noticed a couple of strands were stuck to his skin from the perspiration. He nonchalantly reached up, pushing the hair off his forehead and revealing his forehead to your widening eyes.
Had he always been this hot? Had he really?
“Okay, I can’t concentrate. It’s too hot in here,” You pushed your body up from the bed, swivelling your legs to set your feet on the carpet, “Lets go drive and get ice cream or something. I can’t work in these conditions,”
Jungkook’s lips dipped at the corners, but he did nothing to protest, standing as you swiped his shirt off the ground.
“And put this on, nobody wants to see that,” That was the fattest lie you’d ever told, but your face remained passive as Jungkook rolled his eyes before taking the shirt from you. He pulled it on over his head, and you bit back a smile at the way his black hair became ruffled, haphazardly hanging just over his grinning eyes.
“You know this is only for you, Y/N,” He plucked at your nose, and you batted him away, trying your hardest to look disgusted like you would any other time. As you pushed him out of your room, you rubbed at your cheeks, desperate to hide the blush that had appeared out of nowhere.
1K notes · View notes
bonvoyagenoona · 6 months
blackout | jjk
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Pairings: Jungkook x female reader
Rating: 18+ | Mature | Explicit
Word Count: 16k | read on ao3
Synopsis: You’ve just been laid off, and all you want to do is eat some dinner, curl into bed, and forget. Unfortunately, the neighborhood block party is tonight, and the festivities turn downright chaotic when the entire city loses power. Don’t fret, though. Jungkook will help take your mind off things for a while.
Genres | Content Warnings | Themes: Strangers to lovers, FLUFF with a capital FLUFF, Yugyeom makes an appearance, humor, comfort, smut (starts out with sweet, vanilla sex and masturbation, turns into biting, hickeys, fingering, oral sex [female receiving, male receiving], edging, protected vaginal sex, playful spanking, overstimulation, spitting), drinking / drinking games, drug use (weed edibles).
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Eyes wet with steaming, streaming tears, you let the bodies push you back.
Back to the elevator.
Back down to the lobby.
And back to the curb outside.
Where he looks up and finds your twisted, nauseated expression.
“Hey,” he says softly.
You didn’t see him when you stepped back onto the sidewalk. Even now, you only see him in parts.
Bent fingers clutch his hoodie’s drawstring, pulling left, then right. The denim of the jacket over it shifts slightly as he does. Full lips rest against each other lightly, an interrupted, absent-minded whistle reforming into more words.
“You dropped something.”
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Thanks and hope you enjoy!
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What makes a good manager? Empathy? Organization? Know-how? Whatever mix of qualities, are they innate, or does it come from steadily and patiently rising through the ranks with your allies? Are good leaders born or made?
You don’t think you’ll ever be sure of what makes a good manager. But what you are definitely sure about is what makes a bad manager. 
Bad managers are the type of people who, when given a choice, elect to have you come in for your office job all week for your usual 8 to 5, and wait until Friday afternoon to inform you that you have been let go, even though they got the call from leadership on Monday morning.
You grumble as you shift your cardboard box of belongings to your other arm in order to make the last leg of your journey, every single one of your pores emptying twenty-fold their volume into the fibers of your polyester blend. Couldn’t you have been sacked in the fall? On top of having an additional couple of months to figure your shit out, you wouldn’t be drenched.
It’s 7 by the time you’re stomping around the corner to your block. There’s a family-sized bag of pita chips, a pail of hummus, and an edible patiently waiting for you.
If only there weren’t so many people blocking the way to your door.
Crumpled ghosts of flyers float past you. Their sans-serif font and centered alignment. The drawing of an old-school boombox with music spilling out of it. The date. The goddamned time. 
“Fuck,” you sigh, unable to hear even yourself under millennial R&B samples carrying Gen Z slang. 
Shoulders slumping, you try to trudge through the crowd that doesn’t part, draining energy quickly by the time you make your sixth and seventh attempt, even using the sharp corners of your box to try to snowplow your way through the increasingly drunken bodies that won’t feel any pain until the morning. 
Eyes wet with steaming, streaming tears, you let the bodies push you back.
Back to the elevator.
Back down to the lobby.
And back to the curb outside.
Where he looks up and finds your twisted, nauseated expression.
“Hey,” he says softly.
You didn’t see him when you stepped back onto the sidewalk. Even now, you only see him in parts.
Bent fingers clutch his hoodie’s drawstring, pulling left, then right. The denim of the jacket over it shifts slightly as he does. Full lips rest against each other lightly, an interrupted, absent-minded whistle reforming into more words.
“You dropped something.”
The Hulk bobblehead, given to you in celebration of getting this job in the first place, proves to be more lasting than your presence in the office. 
When you see it in a puddle by your feet, your heart sinks a little. 
And, ever-so-slightly, so does the box in your grip, as you jostle around to allow yourself to reach down and pick it up.
Before you can, though, bent fingers have let go of the drawstring and curl around The Hulk’s head instead. Green abs and purple shorts wiggle from its spring, despite what seems to be The Hulk’s unrelenting protest. 
You look up at the owner of those bent fingers, form crouched in front of you, still only able to perceive him in parts. Four wrinkles at the bridge of his nose. An amused smirk. 
“Ha ha!”
He studies The Hulk’s face, and his right brow falls into a slanted line in perfect mimicry.
The Hulk’s body wiggles violently as bent fingers shake him back and forth. 
You don’t mean to smile. 
His smile is about to meet you too, but his eyes start to take up more space, widening at the sight of slightly shiny lines on your cheeks, carving your skin out like flowing rivers cutting through sienna rock.
“Hey! It’s OK!”
A sleeve rises into view. It moves in quick, small motions, back and forth. 
“Just gotta c-clean him up a little here and—” 
The Hulk suddenly grows ten times in size, now dangling on its spring, right in front of your face.
“See?? N-no harm done!!”
You sniffle.
Bent fingers gently set The Hulk back into the box, in a gap between your empty, gray mesh pen cup and your prized, powder blue stapler. 
You sniffle again. 
You love stapling. 
So final, so sure, that satisfying, crisp metal crunch!
You think you hear that crunch as this stranger’s bright eyes are putting it all together.
As are you, bits and pieces of this stranger now stitching together into a concerned but welcoming face, much too kind, and dangerously easy to open up to. Especially for someone in your state. 
Your fingers dig into your cardboard box.
“Thanks,” you say, relieved that your voice sounds so steady.
He lifts his eyes from the powder blue stapler and watches as you lift your upper arm to your right cheek. 
You dab your tears.
You frown at the sight of black streaks on your blouse. 
And then you startle at the feel of denim against your left cheek.
You watch as this stranger takes a step back.
The fact that he doesn’t seem to notice or care about the black streaks on his sleeve makes you care less about the black streaks on yours.
You feel a little lighter. From what it looks like, about three wisps of Pat McGrath FetishEyes lighter.
“Sorry,” he says, “I just—”
“No, that was… that was nice of you,” you say, starting to become impressed at just how steady your voice is. “Thank you.”
He nods. “Can I help you with anything else?” He holds his hands out a little, wrists coming out of his sleeves. “Take that box for you?”
“I’m good,” you say. 
He’s kind for softening his doubtful look, but his head tilt gives his thoughts away.
“Really,” you insist.
And you insist to yourself that you really don’t mean to smile. You’re surprised that you do. 
He mirrors it, his eyes following his lips, which follow yours, copying perfectly the slightly sad pout that you’re too aware that you’re making, and that tells him that his head tilt is absolutely warranted. 
“If you say so.”
Your smile fades a little as you look back down to the box, still in your grip, resting against your stomach. 
You look back up and watch as he curiously peruses the box’s content. 
“What is all this stuff?” he asks.
You look back over at the crowd now spilling out of your apartment building. 
Your brain is moving too fast, keeping you from being able to expand on the complexity of the matter. The words settling in the back of your throat are reduced to grade school-level syntax that matches the grade school-level emotions that you’re trying to hold at bay. 
This is all Desk Stuff. 
Desk Stuff belongs on a Desk. 
But you no longer have a Desk. 
You no longer even have an Office. 
Or a Job. 
And all you seem to be able to do about it, at least, for right now, is cry.
“Just… stuff.”
How is your voice still so steady when your stomach and chest are churning and burning, flip-flopping positions in your body in an attempt to escape this disaster?
To escape you?
He seems to realize now. There’s even a hint of — ugh — pity in his eyes. 
You want to explain that you’re stronger than this. It’s just that your Job, and your Office, and your Desk were so rare. Beautifully, wonderfully, hilariously rare. Just like your powder blue stapler is rare, and it’s even rarer to see it not at the ready under a mix of sunlight and fluorescent lighting but settled against hastily packed bits and bobs in a box open to the night air.
“You need to keep any of it?” he asks. 
The realization feels weirdly cold in your chest. “No,” you say.
“You want to keep any of it?”
You shrug. 
His head straightens suddenly. 
“Not even The Hulk??”
He looks so excited.
You really, really don’t mean to smile. You’re surprised that you do. That you still can.  
You even chuckle, softly, three tiny stops and starts of that steady, warm voice. 
“Why? You want him?”
“Well, y-yeah — he’s The Hulk!!”
You hold the box out and up to him. 
“Take him, then. Give him a nice home.”
Bent fingers wrap around The Hulk’s head. He lifts The Hulk out of the box and places it into the left chest pocket of his denim jacket, patting it caringly, for safekeeping. 
The Hulk’s eyes peek out at you over the lip.
“Now you pick something,” he tells you.
You look up from The Hulk’s eyes and stare questioningly into the eyes of this alarmingly kind stranger.
“You wanna keep at least one thing, right?” he asks. He peeks back down into the box. “Anything important? Or, just, y’know.” He looks back at you. “Special?”
You think again of the satisfying crunch of metal. 
And then you smile down at your powder blue stapler. 
You hug the box against your chest with one arm and pull the stapler out with your free hand. 
He smiles again, and claps his hands with glee.
The Hulk nods.
And, as you nod back, you catch a glimpse of the alleyway. 
Your gaze settles on the too-bright blue paint sadly used for something as putrid as a dumpster. 
Your feet take you there, and they, along with your calves, and thighs, and arms, and shoulders, and back, thank you immensely as you toss all the rest inside. 
That box looks so small now, amongst everything else. The longer you stare at it, you can’t even really see it anymore, as it gets lost in so many things that also don’t matter.
With your arms free, you get the impulse to pull your phone from your back pocket. But you don’t want to see the flurry of messages that are probably waiting for you.
Instead, you turn and walk back to the curb, where he is still standing and watching you. 
Your feet take you back to him, arm at your side, the stapler fold hanging off your finger, its handle and base taking turns swinging as you walk, powder blue grazing the side of your polyester-covered thigh. 
You stand in front of him, feeling so much lighter. 
“Uh, thanks,” you say. “Again.”
He smiles. 
Now that the weight is off of your shoulders, you can take in more. The sound of street traffic buzzing around you. Honks, and music, and chatter. 
The crowd around your apartment building has doubled if not tripled in size. 
“Live here?” he asks. 
You nod, and your shoulders sink. “But the block party completely slipped my mind.” You sigh and wonder how long it will take for the crowd to dissipate. “All I wanna do is eat some dinner, curl into bed, and forget today ever happened.”
“What’s stopping you?” he asks. 
You furrow your brow and gesture to the drunken, obnoxious mass blocking your way in. 
“Just gotta fight your way through a little, is all,” he says. “C’mon!”
Instead of complaining about having to do anything other than what you want to, you figure that following this guy, with his broad frame, tall stature, and friendly face, will help you work smart and not hard.
So you follow him. 
He moves through the crowd with ease, swimming with the current, instead of fighting his way upstream. 
He offers you protection from the worst hits. Errant slaps and elbows here and there as people reach for each other. A near-collision with a keg stand. 
But people still cut in front of you. By the fourth or fifth instance, you wonder why this always happens when you’re in a crowd, or whether you can consider it a “cut” when you don't even seem to register on people’s radar.
You watch as his head bobs along, nearly out of sight. And then, when he’s too far away, you start to feel the tide turning again, pulling you back out into the vast ocean. 
You’re nearly all the way back by the lobby doors when his face pops out of the crowd. 
“Hey!” he exclaims. 
He throws his arm out, hand open, palm upturned. A life saver on a rope thick, straight, and strong.
You grab it.
You watch as his hand turns over and determinedly pulls you into him.
And you lock eyes briefly before he swirls you around and puts you in front of the crowd, daring you to meet it face-to-face.
He stands behind you but places his hands firmly on your shoulders.
You grip the stapler tight in your hand. 
And then, with his guidance, you start to move through the crowd. 
Part the crowd. 
It’s much easier than you thought. But you knew that. You used to do this all the time, without even thinking. Shoulders back. Hair tossed just so. Beaming with all the wise, unthreatened confidence that years of a magical mix of expertise and bullshit have bestowed upon you.
They, and he, bring you right next to the elevators, and, thinking this is it, you go to punch the button. 
But he steers you toward the stairs instead.
He leans down into you, pressing against your back, his lips brushing against your right ear. 
“Let’s go this way.”
The music and chatter is so loud that even though you feel his chest straining, it sounds like a whisper. 
You think about what’s waiting for you at home. 
The chips. The hummus. The last three squares of your weed-infused chocolates. All designed to help you settle your mind and forget about this whole, wretched day.
Then again, maybe there are other ways to forget.
You shove your powder stapler into your pocket and nod, but it doesn’t matter. He’s already angling you toward the stairs, and chases your steps as you both climb. 
You feel his hands slide down your shoulders, then arms, then into the crooks of your slightly folded elbows, your right hand still touting your stapler, your left hand not fully grasping but angled to feel along the railing so that you have something to hold onto if you trip over one of these people sitting on the steps.
He’s right by your side. Grabs hold of you to help keep you steady when someone suddenly moves to get up. When he lets you go at the top of the stairs, you're almost sad the building has elevators at all. 
“You know the Chans?” he asks.
You register the smell of egg rolls and dumplings and fries and cheese and sugar before you notice that the people who happen to be on this floor are too busy stuffing their faces to really talk. It’s quieter here. Thankfully.
“No,” you mumble, as he walks next to you, moving in lockstep down the hall and slightly to the right. “I don’t really know anybody else in the building.”
“Just moved in?”
“Been here three… wait… four?” You grimace. “Years?”
His eyebrows rise at the speed with which his own mother would race a cake over to every new neighbor on their street. 
“I’ll introduce you!” he says, swinging around you and standing perpendicular to your path to let you know that this next, slightly ajar door will lead you to The Chans. 
He knocks on the door. 
It opens, suddenly, and fully, and a woman grins happily at the both of you before settling into his warm, eager gaze. 
“Jungkook-ah,” she chides playfully, “I told you to come as soon as the party started! We’re already almost out of—”
He — or, well, Jungkook, apparently — rushes inside the apartment toward the kitchen, leaving you standing there in the hallway. 
The woman turns to you, still carrying fondness in her eyes. “Hi!”
“Hi,” you say, as pleasantly as you can. 
The woman takes in the sight of you, though she frowns when she looks down by your hip.
“Is… that… a stapler in your pocket?” 
Your brain starts to move too fast again. 
Desk. Office. Job.
But then she giggles. 
“Or are you just happy to see me?”
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Jungkook mumbles something resembling an introduction after you follow “Miff-iff Cham” through the busy, glowing living room and into the kitchen. 
“Did you even think to get your friend a drink??” Mrs. Chan asks, reaching not for the plenty of plastic flatware but into the cupboards for a porcelain bowl. 
Jungkook mumbles something else, a chomped egg roll raised to his lips, cheeks bulging out, and a bit of fried wrapper sticking out of the corner of his mouth. 
“This boy,” Mrs. Chan laughs, shaking her head. “He devours everything in sight!” As she talks, she walks down the line of her counter, scooping up a bit of everything from her various pots and pans and plopping it into your bowl. “If we didn’t feed him real food, he’d eat garbage off the street! Like one of those fat pigeons!”
Jungkook protests, still unintelligible, but wounded, and passionate, given that flakes of egg roll wrapper fly out of his mouth. 
“Please, Jungkook, you’re so sensitive! Have you seen you?” Mrs. Chan says with a roll of her eyes. “Although, if you keep inhaling these egg rolls…”
She softens at Jungkook’s worried expression.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you fat. I just meant— Ugh, what else eats tra— Like a raccoon, then. How’s that, huh? Jungkook-ah? My little fluffy, sneaky, grabby-hands raccoon?”
Mrs. Chan shoves the now-full bowl into your open hands and makes grabby-hands with her own, pinching his full cheeks, cooing more… weird?... but sweet, raccoon-based compliments at him, which makes him smile happily, and close his eyes at her caring touch. 
You bring the bowl up to your face and breathe in the mouth-watering scent of all of this delicious, home-cooked, made-with-love morsels of amazing food.
For once today, someone has served you a pile of nothing but goodness.
You smile gratefully and take the chopsticks that Mrs. Chan gives to you. And then you take your place next to Jungkook, backs to the sink, both of you leaning back slightly as you eat. 
“Now, I didn’t catch your name,” Mrs. Chan tells you, stirring a spoon into one of the pots. 
As you finally say it, you can’t help but feel Jungkook paying you close attention — such close attention, mind you, that you swear he’s nearly pressing his smile onto your cheek.
“I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself,” you go on, flashing a look at Jungkook before adding, “I’ve just been so busy…”
Desk. Office. Job.
The rest of the sentence that you were going to say travels down your throat like the unchewed walnut that slipped by. 
You cough. Clear your throat the best you can. And pick up what you can recover.
“…at work.”
“Ah, well, whatever! I’m happy we get to meet now,” Mrs. Chan says lightly.
The air with which she says it. So ethereal. It makes you feel a little better.
“I’m Chan Jia,” she goes on, “and my husband Feng and I have lived here pretty much all our lives, and, uh, we really like to cook! Even when half the city isn’t on our doorstep.”
Your eyes hang wide. “You’re amazing at it,” you say, through cheeks fuller than Jungkook’s. “The walnut chicken in particular is, mmm, god, so good.”
Mrs. Chan beams with pride. “Glad you like it! And that you came so hungry.”
More people spill into the Chans’ living room, and Mrs. Chan reaches for some of the paper plates and plastic flatware. 
“Get her something to drink, Jungkook-ah!”
He nods obediently and yells out an earnest, “Thank you!”
You scarf down the last bite in your bowl and start to calculate what seconds you want — definitely the walnut chicken, and maybe the lo mein — when Jungkook sticks a fresh egg roll in your face. 
He stuffs the egg roll into your mouth and takes your empty bowl from your hands, setting it in the filling kitchen sink. 
He takes your right wrist and tugs on it, leading you back out to the hall. 
You bite down on the egg roll and catch the other half in your left hand, grumbling, “I wasn’t done!” as you desperately try to chew and get the delicious pork filling and perfect golden crackles down your gullet. 
“Oh, sorry,” Jungkook says. “Seemed like you were.”
“Well!” You raise your left hand and bite into the second half. “I wasn’t!”
“Well, your bowl was empty, and you emptied it kinda fast, like, shockingly fast, so I thought it was time for dessert—”
You polish off the egg roll as your feet plant themselves in place. “What is this? Who even are you anyway??”
He smiles. “I’m Jungkook!”
“Yeah, caught that,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “Seriously, though! I don’t really know who you—”
Someone splits the two of you, excited to bring one of two waffle ice cream cones to someone downstairs.
“—w-who you are, or if you even live here,” you continue, watching as they round the corner, jogging down the steps with what looks like pistachio ice cream in one hand and some kind of chocolate in the other. 
You turn back to Jungkook. 
“And all these people? I don’t know who they are, and I just really—”
“But now you know Mrs. Chan,” Jungkook says, “and I guess by extension you kinda know Mr. Chan. There was a photo of him on the left wall by the—”
A group of young girls giggle as they exit one of the other apartments on this floor, each of them carrying baskets of freshly baked cookies.
Jungkook playfully yoink! s a couple from the last girl’s basket, and she teasingly slaps Jungkook’s arm as he feigns pain. 
They laugh at each other, and then, he wiggles his eyebrows and nods upward. 
“Oppa!” she whines.
He brings his shoulders up to his earlobes and wiggles his eyebrows even harder.
She rolls her eyes and hands him two more cookies, and she scurries to rejoin her group.
You glare at him.
He blinks at you. Pushes out his lips. 
He holds out his arm.
“Is it time for dessert?”
You frown.
He wiggles the cookie around.
Begrudgingly, you snatch the cookie that he’s offering.
Chocolate chip with toffee chunks and gooey caramel in the center.
It’s goddamn incredible.
“Is everyone on this floor a chef?!” you exclaim in surprise, crumbs flinging from your lips.
Jungkook looks up at the ceiling again as he counts. His unfolding pinky denotes The Chans in 2A, duh. His ring finger counts the Jeups and their three lovely daughters in 2D. His middle finger stands for the Gal brothers and their new ice cream machine, or, well, old ice cream machine, since their shop got the new one—
“Kinda, actually,” Jungkook answers, looking back at you, still counting the others in his head while holding the three other cookies between his thumb and index finger. “Although I guess the Jeups and the Gals are more… bakers? But I don’t think you say that for ice cream.” 
He plumps his bottom lip, chin wrinkling. 
“What do you call someone who makes ice cream for a living?”
You roll your eyes as you polish off your cookie.
“Hey, I thought we were doing it?” he asks. “Shoot. Maybe I’m doing it wrong?”
“Doing what?”
“What you wanted to do.”
Toffee and chocolate are swirling together heavenly in your mouth, but you keep glaring at him. You layer more fire into it. Frown harder. Scowl meaner. If you look angry enough, maybe he’ll give you a second cookie out of fear, and you don’t have to admit how boggled you are.
“You said that all you wanted to do was eat some dinner, curl into bed, and forget,” Jungkook recalls. “So we’re taking care of the eating part.”
You pull back a little on the glare. 
“I would’ve appreciated getting to eat more of that walnut chicken.”
Jungkook’s eyes and grin thin out. 
“We can go back. Or…?”
He holds out another cookie to you.
Which you slowly take.
And in return, you let go of the glower.
You turn the cookie over in your hands. Raise it to your lips.
Jungkook nods encouragingly.
You take a bite.
Peanut butter. With little chocolate candies. That are also filled with peanut butter.
Your pesky smile makes another reappearance.
“Now,” Jungkook says triumphantly, biting into two cookies at once and recalling, “Mrs. Chan said,” as he gets those cookies down to half-size with his huge bites, “ god this is fucking good,” smacking as he talks, “to get you a drink. So c’mon!”
He holds out his hand again. Devoid of any cookies.
You take it anyway.
And he leads you to the elevator.
“Can I get a copy of the itinerary?” you ask, puzzled by all your traipsing. 
Jungkook drums on the elevator doors with his knuckles before giving the right one a slap and pushing the call button. “It’s just block party physics,” he explains. “You saw all those kegs and coolers when you came in, right?”
You nod.
“Gotta keep beer on the ground floor. Nice way to say hi to people. And nobody wants to lug all that shit up all these floors. But people are doing stuff in their apartments, too. More drinks, and food, and games.”
You take a second to take Jungkook in from toe to head. White, worn sneakers, with blue details. Baggy pants. Thin, white hoodie. Denim jacket. Fluffed hair, crinkled and thin eyes, wrinkled nose, and an easy, big smile. Like he’s just hanging out at home.
“Party physics,” you repeat.
The elevator doors open, and you both step in, Jungkook leaning against the railing in the back, and you facing him with a smirk.
“Of which you just happen to be a scholar?”
Jungkook grins. “That, and, uh…”
He gestures to one of the flyers on the elevator bulletin board behind you. It’s not as crumpled as the ones that blew by you earlier. But it is drooping, the tape holding up its top two corners having lost its stickiness over the past few weeks.
You smooth the paper out.
And then you reach into your pocket.
For your powder blue stapler.
You staple each corner into the cork, and you see what Jungkook is talking about. Below the boombox drawing and general details is a whole spreadsheet of details. A murder mystery party on floor twelve. A dance party on floor seven. Karaoke on floor six. Movies on floor eight. 
Nothing on floor nine. You’re one of just a few people who live there. That floor doesn’t get great light, or a great view, facing the north, ignored side of the block. But that doesn’t matter to you. You like it quiet. That’s why you’re all there.
For some reason, you feel a little sick at the thought of riding up to floor nine.
So you’re grateful that you stop, for now, on floor five.
It boasts a crowd just a tad smaller than the one on the first floor, but the energy seems easier. Lively, but less brash.
When Jungkook sees your relieved smile, he takes it as a sign that he’s doing something right.
“Where should we start?” he asks, looking around at all the open doors. As you re-holster your stapler, his head darts left and right, checking your reaction with each option he presents.
“Board games! Ooh, OK, ‘ya seem to like that. We’ll put that on the list. We could also check out that poker game, which we passed back there. And there’s—”
You pull Jungkook’s arm toward you with such force that his nose bumps into your cheek. You laugh together, your eyes shining a bit brighter.
You point.
“I wanna do that.”
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Given your professional, cool-toned business separates; your seemingly strategic nature; your, quite frankly, super uptight vibe; and the way your eyes initially widened at the proposal to join the board game room, Jungkook wouldn’t have pegged you as someone who had even a passing interest in drinking games. Especially flip cup.
Yet, here you are, standing on top of Kim Yugyeom’s mother’s old kitchen table, the front of your blouse stained with sangria, and both of your hands victoriously pumping two empty, crushed plastic cups into the air.
Funny how the thing that always kept you from playing flip cup was the beer.
And you were extraordinary. How you downed each drink. How, like your voice has been so far this evening, you were able to stay so composed. How that gave you such an advantage with each flip. How everyone in the room cheered you on, shocked by how you hadn’t stuttered on a single cup. How Jungkook almost caught up, but you were able to rally and down two more full cups of sangria than you probably should have.
“Howwwww have I not plaaaaayed this gaaaaame before?!” you ask, delirious from your winner’s rush. And maybe the sangria.
“You haven’t?!” a laughing Yugyeom adds, as he helps you down from his table. “Would’ve thought you were a pro!”
A little unsteady on your feet, and happily so, you lean into him, melting at his strong form and touch before pouring into one of the chairs nearby.
“Alright there, champ?” Yugyeom chuckles.
He watches you wiggle happily in your seat, one strong wiggle forcing you to lean a bit too much to the right. 
“Haha, fuck, let me get you some damn water!”
Jungkook lands in the chair next to you, propping you up and giggling at your blissful humming. 
Your eyes meet his. “Oh, what’s this?” You raise your left hand up. “Hmm?” Your palm grazes the tip of his nose, and your eyes widen with excitement, as his widen to try to find out what’s wrong with your hand. 
“Oh!” you smile.
Equally thrilled and perplexed, Jungkook moves to give you a high five?
But you dodge him with a grin. 
Your wrist goes slack. Delighted, you do an arm wave, letting it flow through up to your shoulders, through to your trunk, and onwards to your other arm, which flows up and around from your side and around, down your opposite shoulder and through your forearm, fingers gathering to a point and tipping back Jungkook’s open forehead.
Jungkook lets out a spirited laugh that perks up your spine.
As you watch with interest, he furrows his brow and opens his mouth in fake offense. His head bobs forward, and he lets the wave travel throughout his entire body, each muscle isolation smoothing into the next. 
He gets up and starts to dance, suddenly going rigid as he starts to pop and lock, hips moving with more precision than you would have anticipated, his baggy clothes suddenly looking sharp, his body halving, and The Hulk slipping out a little, bobbling along with him. 
Yugyeom rejoins you, and him, cheering and catching the wave in his chest from Jungkook’s lightning rod of a hand and letting it travel through his black hoodie-covered torso, down to his legs, the frayed rips of his light blue jeans swaying as his muscles take turns relaxing and constricting, traveling back up to his other arm, and down to the hand that is holding two water bottles: one for Jungkook, and one for you.
You giggle and shiver as Yugyeom places the cold plastic against your neck, fingers grazing his as you take over the grip of the bottle.
This is… nice.
“What else can we play??” you ask brightly, letting the bottle linger for a moment before lifting it, and unscrewing the cap. “What other games are there?”
“Should probably slow down on the drinking ones,” Jungkook rightfully decides, as you start to slump again.
He takes a step back to you, and your left cheek rests on his right hip.
Feeling so comfortable, you close your eyes for a moment, missing Yugyeom’s intrigued smirk, and Jungkook’s helpless nose scrunch.
“Leaving so soon?” Yugyeom asks, tossing him the other bottle.
Jungkook looks down and notes your hazy, unfocused eyes, as well as your clumsy fingers still working at the water bottle cap. 
“After this water break.”
“Well, swing by again later,” Yugyeom tells you, as your eyes flutter open. “I need to avenge my humiliated friend here. Or get the chance to, at least.”
Jungkook pouts. “Humiliated?”
“Only Jungkook can save himself,” you say, much too haughty for someone who has taken about thirty whole seconds to open a water bottle, “but depending on how tonight goes, I might take you on as another trophy. I mean victim. I mean opponent.”
Yugyeom shakes his head at your self-assuredness, looking over at Jungkook to see if he’s clocking this, and finding he’s only chuckling as you close your eyes and eagerly drink.
“Where’d you find her?” Yugyeom asks, as Jungkook looks back at him.
“Obviously by the dumpsters, given all the trash talk,” Jungkook jokes.
You choke on your water and laugh, the back of your hand rising to your lips as you open your eyes again and catch your breath.
“No, really,” Yugyeom goes on, smiling at you and shoving his hands into his back pockets, chest puffing out with a relaxing breath. “You live on the block?”
You point up at the ceiling. “Ninth floor.”
“The hermit floor?” Yugyeom asks, surprised.
You left your left shoulder from Jungkook’s hip and tilt your head toward it. “I crawled out of my cave today. And saw Jungkook on the curb.”
Yugyeom looks over at Jungkook again, who just smiles. 
He meets Jungkook’s smile with a pleased chuckle.
“I mean it. Come back later. I still wanna hang.” He narrows his eyes at you and wiggles his eyebrows. “I want a go with the resident flip cup champ.”
You wink at him as you bring the water bottle back to your lips. 
Before Yugyeom takes his leave, he reaches out his hand, slightly dampened from the condensation on those ice-cold water bottles, to Jungkook. Their right hands clasp together, and they bring their right shoulders forward to one another, chests bumping together tightly. 
Yugyeom slaps Jungkook’s back.
He mumbles something.
Jungkook scoffs with a grin.
And then they part, Yugyeom flashing you another smile before he heads back toward his kitchen table.
Jungkook crouches down and wipes his hand on his thigh. You watch his fingers spreading across. His palm rubbing down toward his knee, and then back up again.
“Oh my god,” he says. 
You straighten and snap your eyes to his, feeling caught. “What??”
“I think you’re…”
Jungkook shoots you an open-mouthed, told-you-so smile. 
“…having fun??”
“Absolutely not,” you say, trying your best to sneer.
“You’re smiling!” Jungkook taps his finger on your cheek. 
You swat his hand away, giggling and thinking fondly of him teasing those three girls with the cookies. You haven’t really stopped smiling since.
“You’re laaaugh-iiiiing!”
You roll your eyes. “So what if I am?”
Jungkook watches as you screw the water bottle’s cap back on and set it down, next to the right leg of your chair.
“Are you?” he asks gently. “H-having fun?”
He wants you. 
To have fun, that is. 
He wants you to have fun because you so clearly hadn’t earlier that day. He’s good at fun. At least, he’s always thought he is. In much the same way that Mrs. Chan is good at walnut chicken, and the Jeups are good at cookies, and the Gal brothers are good at ice cream. 
He’s always thought that he’s been good at fun. Things have gotten a little busier, as life does. He hasn’t talked to as many people in a while. He definitely hasn’t gotten to swing by Yugyeom’s nearly as often, and he’s missed his check-ins with Yugyeom’s wonderful neighbors. While standing out there on the curb, peering up at your building, he wondered if he’d changed.
But, if you’re having fun, given the day that you’ve had, then that means he hasn’t.
He’s still good at fun.
Maybe if you knew this was kind of about him, it wouldn’t feel so strange for someone to want you to have fun when just a couple of hours ago, the bubble of your perfectly pleasant life burst at the discovery that people who celebrated your birthday, who clinked drinks with you at happy hour, who left you funny sticky notes on your desk, who shared the load when work got overwhelming — people who were supposedly invested in you — didn’t actually care all that much.
Do you even deserve it? Fun? When you are so easily discarded? 
Jungkook clearly deserves it. He’s only just met you, by some dumpsters no less, and he’s still, inexplicably, trying so hard.
You feel your heavy heart pulling you under.
But then, you catch sight of The Hulk tucked into Jungkook’s pocket.
“I am.” You grin. “I am having a lot of fun.”
He brightens. Sits a little taller.
“Good!” His eyes close nearly all the way, and his two front teeth bunch up his lips. “I knew you were.”
He jumps to his feet. “Feeling up to more games? Maybe those board games?”
The sangria is starting to catch you, mixing with the swirl of emotions bogging down your heavy, heavy heart. You need to do something to let it out.
“Which floor had the karaoke?” you ask. “Six?”
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“Quit hogging the mic!” 
You spin around and scream the next lyrics at this surly, thin-lipped man, mashing whatever he can into a lour look of extreme disapproval. 
The next part of this song is iconic, and masterful. You know each of the vocal parts in the lush swell of the breakdown, but this occasion calls for the throughline, the main melody, to drive the point home.
“NEVER GONNA GET IT NEVER GONNA GET IT!” you belt, pointing at Thin Lips, shimmying as you dance around him in a circle. 
You put a resonant sting on the syncopated quarter notes that carry into the next measure, tapping your toes on each eighth-note of this manifesto. 
Exaggerating even more, you pull your lips into a mocking pout, and you descend down the harmonic scale. 
Brazen, and drawing a bit of power from the room clapping and laughing around you, you grab the handle of your stapler, aim it at Thin Lips’ cleft chin, and clap the hammer against the anvil on each note. 
You aren’t sure when Jungkook got up from his seat on the Hans-in-6F’s couch, but now, he’s next to you, arms folded, chest slightly bouncing from holding in his laughter.
Thin-lipped Shik glares at him, and you start circling around Jungkook instead, singing the second half of the breakdown a little softer, but swaying your stapler in the air.
Jungkook’s eyes, which have been following you this whole time, spread out to the rest of the room, everyone chanting and clapping along. “We’re all having a good time.”
“She’s sung like a hundred songs!” Shik protests. “I want a turn!”
At the whiff of vodka that follows, Jungkook negotiates, “One more song, alright?” 
He speaks kindly, with the kind of smile that people born with goodness and light at their core can share. But he puffs himself up when he says it. He unfolds his arms, and his chest inflates. He flexes his right hand. Just in case.
Shik sighs. “Fine. But make it something pleasant. She’s been screaming for the past hour.”
He takes Jungkook’s seat on the couch, seemingly discontent unless he’s taking things from other people. 
But it’s fine. The energy is dissipating anyway, En Vogue starting to decrescendo and queue up your next show-stopping performance.
“Hey.” Jungkook’s unflexed right hand lands softly on your shoulder. “Diva.”
You turn and smile at him.
“Wanna do one last song?”
Panting, and jamming your stapler back into your pocket, you slow your dancing feet to a mere sway, pouring your weight to the left, then to the right.
“OK,” you say, mind starting to wander, “but let me pick something different.” Your eyes widen a bit. “Would you wanna sing something with me?”
Jungkook beams. “Yeah!” 
As you scroll through your private YouTube playlist of karaoke faves, he stands a little closer. Looks over your shoulder with curiosity. Giggles softly when your thumb tugs at ones that he likes, too.
He smells good.
You startle back at his sudden exclamation and bump into his chest. 
And he just lets you.
“You, uh, know this one ?” you ask, thumb hovering over a picture of two silhouettes.
“I love that one.”
“Me too.”
A shared glance between you tells you how much.
Jungkook hums. “Then start us off.”
Growing up, you’d wished that the karaoke industry would work faster. Churn out more microchips that held more than just the 70s and 80s ballads that your family sang in the same rotation at every holiday, birthday, christening, graduation, wedding, hell, every Saturday morning, while you each took charge of scrubbing a different part of the house… 
Nowadays, karaoke versions of songs aren’t hard to find. Literally every song is essentially at your fingertips. But with every song at your fingertips, it’s becoming harder and harder to find people who know what you know. Like what you like.  
As Jungkook reaches for the other mic, still charging on its base, you play the instrumental.
And you raise your mic to your mouth.
“I keep so much of me hidden. Can’t lie. No, I’ve got this pain inside. Most times I never admit it. But with you, no, I don’t want to hide.”
Jungkook bites his lip as you sing. You aren’t the most gymnastic singer, but you have such a pleasant voice. And he’s not the only one who thinks so. A hush has fallen over the entire room, and even Shik is captivated by the way you’ve softened the air around you. 
“What’s there all the time. And weighs on my mind. My friends say they listen. But honestly, I don’t think that they get me like you do. You don’t have to try. I come unfolded with the things I hold inside. I have never told no one but you.”
How long have you been singing? Has it been an hour? Two?
Maybe people don’t tire of you as easily as you thought.
Your heart feels a little lighter.
And you let Jungkook fill the space that remains.
“When I’m with you, I feel different.”
In just one line, you discover that if Jungkook’s voice were a drink, it would be a toasted marshmallow mocha. If Jungkook’s voice were a feeling, it would be your bare legs meeting the backseat of the car on a tempered summer day. If Jungkook’s voice were a hand, it would cup your cheek and hold your face up to make sure you didn’t miss the sight of a falling star. 
“Like I can’t just be your warmness, oh baby…”
His vocal runs are hurdles and sprints and marathons in equal turns, voice strong and whole as he dips in and out of notes and syllables, playing with time, and tickling your lighter, and lighter, and even lighter, heart.
“I’ve been through some tough things in my life. And it’s so easy to tell you.”
You believe him.
You believe him so strongly that you almost miss your cue to join him again at the chorus, singing an octave apart, matching him note for note, voice bending and gliding a little easier. Freer.
But then everything just stops.
The music. Your voices. The energy.
It all comes to a halt.
Other voices start to overlap. Curses, and concern.
A small circle of bright, invasive light appears. And then another. And another.
They catch people in slices.
Frowns. Fists. 
Eyes. No two sets meeting.
Except, somehow, yours and Jungkook’s.
“Everyone OK?” someone asks, as more and more tiny spotlights rove around the room. 
“Apparently it’s the whole building!”
“The whole block?”
“Look out the window!”
“Yeah, it’s the whole city!”
Whines start to fill the room. Then groans. Then yells.
“Fuck,” you hear Jungkook whisper, “people are gonna lose it pretty quickly.”
You feel a hand grab yours and yank you toward them.
“It’s me.”
But you knew that.
And now you know that the center of his body, the notch where his pecs and the top of his abs meet and surrender to one another, seems to be a perfect spot for your hand to rest. And your hand resting there makes up for all the blows that your feet and shins and hips take as you fight your way through the distressed crowd.
You don’t see or feel it. Jungkook’s already holding it open for you, leading you through by jutting out his chest and letting you know where he is, which is right there, still curved around your hand.
His hand leaves yours and slides down your side, circling around your back, incidentally following the line of the band of your bra. His forearm pins you to him, and you feel your body bending with his as he shuffles you through to the hall. His chin rests on the top of your head, and your temple cushions against his collarbone.
Baby powder.
Bodes beat against your back, and you take in a sharp breath, your fingers balling into fists. One hand is still safely settled into that notch below Jungkook’s chest. Your other arm is pressed to your side, hugged by Jungkook’s armpit, your hand swinging down and closing around—
“Wait, shit, I’m still holding the mic?”
“It’s OK,” he tells you. “Everything’s OK.”
But something catches his attention.
You feel Jungkook’s chest tighten around your fist.
“Mr. Jeup?” Jungkook calls out, hoping his voice can meet hers despite the building wails.
“Yes, it’s Jungkook!” 
The collective spotlights help Jungkook and Mr. Jeup find each other across the hall, and Jungkook leads him, and you, to a spot close to the staircase railing.
Mr. Jeup has soaked through the collar of his shirt.
“I can’t find Deji,” he says breathlessly. “I’d already been looking for her for a couple of hours, but she got separated from her unnies—” He clicks his teeth. “Always trailing behind.”
You think of the sweet girl slapping Jungkook’s hand away from her basket of cookies.
“We’ll find her.” 
From what you can tell, Jungkook’s voice is enough to reassure Mr. Jeup, as the slices of him that you get look more and more relieved. 
“Go home and check in with Mrs. Jeup and the girls,” Jungkook tells him. “My friend and I will go up floor by floor. I’ll text you the moment I see her.”
Mr. Jeup shakes his head. “We should’ve just gotten her a phone. Like she wanted.”
“She won’t be far. She knows your rules.” A slice of light catches Jungkook’s smile, as fond as when he had exchanged those cute giggles with her earlier. “And, though it might not seem like it, she always follows them.”
Mr. Jeup nods. “Thanks, Jungkook. Let me know.”
Shades of Mr. Jeup make their way along the railing, following it carefully as he makes his way back downstairs.
“I’ll formally introduce you another time,” he says apologetically.
Jungkook can’t be so hospitable, or demented, to be thinking about a formal introduction in this fraught situation. 
But then you think of how he and Deji teased each other. Their familiar, funny way. How she gave him four cookies as a treat.
Or a payment.
A placid smile spreads across your face. “You know where she is, don’t you?”
Jungkook chuckles.
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“When will it come back on??”
“We wanna watch!”
“It was just about to get to the good part!”
“Give it a few more minutes,” a voice, more mature than the others, calls out. “Give the backup generators a little bit of time to kick in.”
“They’re not going to,” another older voice says in response. “It’s been too long. I’m betting they’re down as well.”
“Stop it!” the first hisses. “You’ll scare them!”
As predicted, the younger voices start to clamor.
“So when will the power come back on?”
“I’m getting hot!”
“Me too! I’m starting to sweat!”
Jungkook calls brightly from the hallway through the opening door, slowly revealing a group of kids in the living room, and a couple on the couch, outlined against a soft half-sphere of candlelight. 
“Yon! Yeo!”
The woman on the left jumps up from the couch, and the woman on the right just nods.
You sigh softly when, in the center back of the group of kids, all of them lying on top of each other, having kicked off their blankets and facing a blank, white bed sheet hanging on a cleared clothing rack, you see Deji, sitting with her legs criss-crossed.
And next to a boy.
Jungkook lets go of your hand, but not without glancing at you to make sure it’s OK to.
You smile and nod, lingering in the doorway and watching him tiptoe in the gaps between squishy, teeny arms and legs to crouch down next to Deji, and this boy.
Deji gives Jungkook a high five, and you smirk to yourself as he pulls his phone out from his back pocket, sighing with relief as he starts to type.
The woman who waved gets up and walks over to you, leaning on a bookshelf by the door and folding her arms.
“I’m Yon,” she replies. “And that’s Yeo.” 
She jerks her thumb behind her.
Staring straight ahead, Yeo takes another sip of wine.
You introduce yourself and say, “Did you set this up for the kids?”
Yon nods. “Toy Story 3. We were almost at the incinerator scene.”
Your eyes pop open, and you look over to the kid who cheered about the scene earlier. 
“That was the good part??”
Yon cackles and says, “Seojun over there has a dark sense of humor.” 
The other kids have successfully been distracted, settling into other lively conversations, giggling and playing games with each other, and with Jungkook. 
But Seojun quietly breaks free from the group and makes her way to the couch. She plops down next to Yeo, the two of them chatting quietly. 
Yon watches them affectionately. “So does Yeo. Kindred spirits, those two.”
They look so serious. But there are moments. Eyebrow flickers. Chuckles. And, throughout, a warm smile of recognition of something deeper. A somewhat somber but understanding of the world around them. 
Seojun pauses. Stumbles. Gets whatever she wants to say out. Yeo seems to ponder it, and then says something back. Then, Seojun and Yeo look away from each other, and Yeo strokes her hair once as Seojun hides a smile.
You didn’t realize how many kids lived in the building. But you’re usually out before they’re up, and back in long after they’re asleep.
“Kind of you to host something kid-friendly.”
“To be honest, these have kind of been little test runs.” 
Yon’s voice is cautious and small, but happy. 
“We want to adopt,” she admits. 
Her eyes are pillowy soft as they scan over those tiny, laughing faces. 
“The kids around here are so sweet. Good families. Good parents. They don’t judge. And they’ve given us so many smiles. It’d be nice to share our lives like this all the time. Especially with a little one who really needs it.”
You can feel how momentous Yon’s heart must be. Her words surround you. Inflate you. Lift you up.
“Well,” you sigh, impressed, and a little sheepish, at her outpouring of love, “the little ones who get to join your family are quite lucky.”
Yon lets out a deep, encouraged sigh. “Thanks for that. Nice to hear something positive, y’know? It’s been… hard.”
You regretfully agree.
“Anyway,” Yon replies, “how do you know Jungkook? Are you friends with Yugyeom, too? That’s how we met him.”
“I, um—”
“Well, I just met him today.” You blink. You can’t believe you just met him today.
Yon smiles, recognizing your dazed look. 
“He makes quite an impression, doesn’t he?”
Your eyes land on him as he grins and throws up a peace sign while taking a picture with Deji, and laughing with the boy, who is starting to take interest in The Hulk bobblehead in Jungkook’s pocket. 
“I’ve known him since he was a skinny teen,” Yon reflects. “His parents used to own this building, but they sold the property when they retired. He’s still here all the time, though.” 
She smiles.
“It’s been a little while since we’ve gotten to see him. But it’s always so nice when we do. He just makes things… better.”
Jungkook notes the boy’s gaze, and his bent fingers reach into that pocket to pull The Hulk’s head out, flashing The Hulk’s cute little grimace, to Deji and the boy’s delight. 
But when the boy reaches out for it, Jungkook frowns and leans back, not letting the boy take The Hulk out of his pocket completely, choosing instead to close the flap of his pocket over The Hulk’s black eyes, tapping the pocket in thanks for safekeeping. 
You giggle.
Maybe that’s the secret to Jungkook.
To all of this.
Being a kid at heart.
Yes, things have been hard.
Things are hard.
But they haven’t been hard just today. And not just for you. Or Yon and Yeo. Or Shik. Or Mr. Jeup. Or any of the people in your building, on your block, in this city. 
Everyone is shuffling around, lost in the dark. 
But it isn’t your fault.
It isn’t anyone’s fault.
Maybe that’s just how it is sometimes. 
Maybe that’s how it is all the time.
There’s always more that you could do to fight against the darkness. To make things better.
But maybe there’s also more time for selcas, and singing, and sangria. 
Fun, kind things that you could do with others. And for yourself. 
Maybe that’s the way to start.
Yon’s face suddenly pulls together tightly. And you follow her gaze to your hip.
“Why do you have a stapler in your pocket?”
“Hey!” Jungkook exclaims, popping up beside you and patting Yon’s back.
“Hey,” Yon says warmly, leaning in for a hug. “We were just getting to know each other.” She smirks. “Just as it seems the two of you are.”
Jungkook grins at you. “The two of us have been having fun.”
You smile. 
“Oooh, funnnn,” Yon says, her voice waving up and down as the word trails from her lips.
She smirks at Jungkook.
“Then don’t worry about Deji. She’s just fine.”
And she is. Deji and the boy are in their own little bubble, voices hushed, bodies crouched and facing each other, smiles mirroring.
“Tell Mr. Jeup that I can walk her down if he wants,” Yon says.
“Nah, he’s good,” Jungkook replies. “I sent him a selca. Told him that you were all just hanging out.” 
He slides his hands into his back pockets. 
“In fact, I told him that it’s better for her to stay. That it’s much calmer than downstairs. So he said thanks, and that he’d come up and pick her up when the chaos dies down. Even if it’s late into the night.”
Yon clicks her teeth and shakes her head. “Cheeky fucker.”
He beams a cheesy, accomplished grin. 
“Alright, Cupid.” Yon beams a cheesy grin of her own. “Then why don’t you two continue your night of fun?”
Jungkook flicks his eyes over to you.
You realize that you’re starting to sweat, too.
Yon is already shoving Jungkook back into the hallway when he asks, “Y-you sure?” 
“Yes, I’m sure.” She smiles at you. “Nice meeting you. Maybe you can explain the stapler when I see you again?”
You laugh, and Jungkook stands next to you in the hallway.
Before you leave, he turns back to the living room.
“Dehhhh-jiiiiiii!” he sings.
Deji looks up at him and smiles. “Yesssss??” she sings back mockingly.
Jungkook sends her a wink.
Deji’s cheeks balloon with air, and they deflate quickly as she whines out, “oh-PAAAA!!!”
He cackles as Yon hurriedly calls back, “OK, Jungkook-oppa is leaving now! Everybody say goodbye!”
The kids yell out goodbyes to Jungkook-oppa, and Jung-krook-oppa, and Yungkook-oppa, and Jungle-oppa, and Crunkook-oppa, and Chunky-oppa— and Yon, cackling, uses her foot to nudge Jungkook farther into the hall before pushing the door closed.
The kids’ goodbyes are replaced with the sound of people in other eighth-floor apartments trying to come up with — and, in some cases, even arguing about — activities to occupy their fellow film fans. But unlike on the other floors, the sound doesn’t seem so overwhelming, tempered above by the typical silence of the ninth.
You look up. Being up on the hermit, ninth floor affords you a certain privilege. You haven’t worried one bit since the power went out. You know that your apartment looks exactly the same as you left it. Kitchen, clean. Living room, sparkling. Bed, made. Pillows fluffed, and sheets pressed. Nothing out of the ordinary, save for maybe the fire escape that you like to keep cracked, fighting off the sometimes stale air. 
You see your desk pushed up against it. Pages of your open book swaying in the breeze.
“Tired?” Jungkook asks, tilting his head.
How quickly you grow tired of stale air.
“Maybe a little, but,” you rush, “uh… not quite…”
Your gaze settles on each other. Jungkook’s eyebrows are slightly tented.
“Not quite ready to go home just yet,” you say, voice low, and ambling.
Jungkook smiles.
“Then let’s go do the second thing you wanted to do tonight.”
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It’s been a while since you’ve seen stars. 
And you still kind of see stars when you turn to Jungkook. 
The breeze runs through his hair, making some of his shorter, soft curls dance.
You miss them a little when he pulls up his hood, so that his hair stays clean as he lies down on the roof, next to you.
He’s just so mesmerized by how bright the world is in the middle of a blackout.
“Can you believe this happens every night?” Jungkook asks in awe. “This happens every night, and we just don’t see it.”
You look back up at the sky like an old friend. 
The suburbs that raised you gave you unencumbered sight. You’ve memorized a few of them. Though your favorites are the ones that shine during the winter, you can spot some of summer’s best. The dippers. Leo.
You introduce him to them.
It’s fun to watch Jungkook meet them for the first time.
“They make everything feel so much smaller,” he observes in wonder.
“That can be a good thing,” you realize as you say. 
You feel his curious eyes on you as you give your body a good, deep stretch, toes wiggling, hips pulling down, chest rising a little, and shoulders popping as your neck tilts left and right, your head still resting on the inside back lining of Jungkook’s denim jacket, which he laid flat on the roof for you. 
“Takes some of the pressure off.”
He watches as you lick your lips, take another deep breath, and close your eyes as you exhale. 
“Feeling a lot of it?” he asks.
The warmth of Jungkook’s proud glow tickles your side, and you open your eyes to the sight of him beaming at the sky and biting his lip at a job well done.
You follow his gaze, and take another deep breath.
“Things will work out,” he says comfortingly. 
You chuckle. “They probably always do, for someone like you.” 
“What if they do?”
It would sound cocky if he didn’t punctuate it with a question mark that has a light giggle for a point.
The corner of your mouth ticks up. “Then I’m happy for you.”
Jungkook hums.
You lie there in silence for a while, the sounds of the city floating up from the street. It’s calming, hearing the city chugging along, even if just a little slower and quieter, as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Because it isn’t.
Jungkook pulls his legs in, bending his knees and letting his feet plant themselves onto the roof, one leg crossing over the other, foot just above and to the right of you. 
You watch it sway a little. 
“I’d play some music or something, but I think my phone is going to die soon,” Jungkook mumbles.
“Oh. Hang on.”
As you slant your hips toward him, Jungkook’s eyes run down your body and follow their curves. Your hand slides out from your back pocket with your phone, still full of charge.
When you look at its screen, you don’t even see all the notifications in the top bar. You go right to your playlists, and you see the perfect track. 
It doesn’t occur to you to ask Jungkook if he likes it. He’s already moved his swaying foot in time to the slightly faster beat.
It’s a song about a new crush, its sweet and giddy lyrics, harmonies, and melodies floating into the air, lofted by city sounds, and Jungkook humming along beside you. 
You smile to yourself.
You narrow your eyes.
And then you turn onto your side, folding and tucking both of your hands under your right cheek.
“Tell me more about this crush,” you say.
Jungkook mirrors you, forehead wrinkling, and lips tantalizing as he smirks and turns inward to you, too. 
You’re almost touching.
You catch another whiff of baby powder.
“Hmm… which crush?”
You giggle together, noses almost bumping.
“Tell me more about Deji and this boy.”
He smiles. Fond. Almost proud.
“She’s so cute,” you say, your heart swelling a little. 
“She’s precious,” Jungkook agrees. “The Jeups are always busy at their shop, and when they’re working really late, people from the building will drop by their place and check on them, or invite them over. I haven’t been able to visit as often, but when I visit Yugy, I usually try to swing by. Entertain them for a few hours if I can.”
“So friendly,” you comment.
Jungkook tilts his head toward you. “It’s nice to make friends.”
You smile. “It is.” And then. you sigh. “Now, tell me about the boy.”
Laughing, he says, “His name is Hyun-Woo, and he lives on the fourth floor.”
Your smile stretches, and your eyebrows rise.
Jungkook giggles. And then he shares a bit more.
“His parents are quiet. They’re all still kinda new to the city. A little shy. He is, too. He has a pet gerbil named Moony because he seems to like to play at night. He plays video games. He used to collect these little space battalion figurines, but he kind of lost track of some of them during the move, but it’s alright, because he was kinda starting to lose interest in them anyway. And he plays tennis. He’s OK at it.”
“Is he a nice kid?” you ask.
“What do you think?”
“You’re the one who knows him.”
“Huh? I just met him tonight.”
Your eyes open in surprise. Jungkook knows everybody in the world. 
He raises his hand in caution. “Hey, all of this info is second-hand from Deji.”
“She’s really fallen for him, huh?”
Jungkook’s brows, cheeks, nose, and lips all draw together, meeting, squinched, in the middle of his face.
“She told me that she’s butt-crazy in love.”
When you laugh, he laughs, all his features bouncing back to their rightful, gorgeous places.
You lie there, just watching him, trying to take more of it in. 
More of Jungkook just laughing.
His eyes are perfectly almond-shaped, but they grow so big and round when he laughs. He seems to have a habit of pushing his upper lip into a triangular pout, symmetrical with the way his cheeks form sideways Vs as he pulls his lips up and back. There’s a tiny freckle on his chin, by his bottom lip, and you like that depending on how full his laugh is, and how open his mouth grows to let it out, you can sometimes see it, and sometimes, you can’t, because when it pops up, it’s like a tiny, adorable prize. And now, he’s scratching the tip of his ear, grabbing onto it, before sliding his hands under his cheeks, just like yours.
Your knees are almost touching.
“Is she?”
“She is.”
Maybe it’s the topic, and maybe it’s just tonight, but everything about him shines so brightly. Even his voice bathes you in starlight.
“When it comes to this sort of thing, you just know.”
He rubs his knee, gently, against yours.
It angles downward as he rests his weight on it. 
His arm comes around you, and your body turns with it, your back meeting the roof.
His hand flattens, resting on his jacket, holding him up.
As he leans over you, face in full view, the only thing you see, other than the swirls of stars sparkling behind him, you think you might crane your neck up and plant a kiss on his slightly parted lips.
As you raise your chin to meet him, he thinks you might, too.
He opens his mouth to say something else. Maybe even do something else. Whatever it is, you want him to do it. 
But then, there’s the loud buzzing of generators, and a rush of light. 
Spotlights evolving into floodlights. 
The entire city rumbles with an earthquake of cheers.
Your lips pull back from the pout you were making, rushing inward as you seal them together with your teeth.
Jungkook freezes.
You look at each other for a moment.
And then he leans back. Instead of lying back down, he sits up, folding his legs under him. He uses them to get himself back onto his feet and walk over to the edge, looking back at you and raising his eyebrows in question.
You rock onto your side, kneel, and then hoist yourself up, joining him to look over the ledge.
The streets are more crowded than you thought. And they’re growing louder, no longer restrained under that black cloud.
“Guess it’s over,” he says.
You blink a few times, getting used to this new, luminous world. You peer down at the building across the street, the one that blocks the city from your apartment’s view, and you see a horde of people through one of the main windows.
You can already hear the din of people in your own building, chaos moving from the hallways to the stairwell. Sweaty bodies pushing against each other to get back to their apartments, filled with stale air.
Jungkook raises his eyebrows as he reads your mind. “Wait it out?”
You follow the siding, along the ledge, to where the roof’s fire escape sits.
You grab the rising railing and steady yourself before climbing up, over the ledge, and turning around to take the ladder down..
You look at Jungkook with a daredevil’s grin.
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Hoisting the fire escape window open proves to be much more difficult than you thought. Maybe the metal tracks have rusted over. Maybe the paint has turned to glue. Or maybe there’s something stuck at the top, a bit of wood, or a random pebble, wedging it in place.
Jungkook sends it flying upwards with seemingly no effort.
Even though the fire escape’s metal work is still up to code and more than enough to keep you from tumbling down into, incidentally, the dumpsters below, he holds his arms open and around you. Just in case.
You climb in, careful not to stomp on your still-open book, balancing on your desk carefully, but not for too long, given that it was bought on a budget and contains a drawer of screws that you didn’t use when putting it together.
Jungkook sees you calculating, and before you can give any kind of warning, he dives for the rug, somersaulting into the living room, stopping just short of the coffee table holding your one real plant.
Smiling back as you cackle, he jumps up, dusts himself off, and takes a bit of a bow.
Unlike every other apartment in the city at that moment, your lights are still off. But you tend to keep them off anyway, much preferring the way the city light gives you just enough to maneuver around comfortably.
He seems to understand. Another shared preference.
You watch as he takes slivers of your living room in. At the far end, your door, double-locked. Shoes lined up, except for a boot that has fallen on its side. A table, which is probably where you put your keys and mail. A skinny bookshelf on the first wall. A TV, and that coffee table, in the center. That plant, which, unfortunately, isn’t doing too well. This couch, with the quilt that looks like your mother, or any mother, made it, but is actually another bargain buy. 
“Cozy,” he says with a genuine smile.
“Appears that way,” you admit.
Jungkook nods as he takes more in. Everything seems to be in place. In order. And he’s starting to feel awkward there, unsure of where he needs to be.
“Well,” he says, smiling. “I guess there’s nothing left to do but the last thing on your list.”
There’s an uncomfortable pressure in your chest. You let it storm and rumble for a moment, and you realize that it’s not anxiety, or stress. Those would mean that having Jungkook in your apartment would feel wrong. That you would want him to go.
But you desperately, desperately don’t.
It’s regret. 
The regret of not craning your neck up and kissing him under the stars.
“I don’t want to do the last thing anymore,” you say, looking at him with want. “I wanna do something else.”
You don’t break your gaze as you walk right up to him, toes touching his.
You tilt your head.
You kiss him.
You kiss him.
And he lets you.
When you pull away, you grin and ask, “What are you thinking?”
He could have been staring for five seconds or five hours. It somehow feels like both. And all of that explodes when he tells you, “I was thinking how much I like the taste of your mouth.”
His lips land on yours with a soft grunt, diving in with more want the more that he gets of you. His fingers hold your head gently, but after each taste that he gets of you, his fingers continue to dig in, squeezing your cheeks slightly, and forcing your lips forward.
He runs his tongue over them and kisses you once more. 
Hearts pounding, you pull away, wearing matching, wet smirks. 
As you pull away, you stare at each other, puzzled, and even more curious.
You rush together again, bodies colliding this time, and violently so.
You rub at the sore spot just above your right breast, and The Hulk scowls back at you.
“Haha, aww.” 
He whines along with you, pulling you in closer on the other side, and placing his hand on your sore spot, too.
He massages his fingers in tender circles.
And then he pulls you in for a kiss that unfolds slowly, not robbed of heat and passion but building back up to it layer by layer, like the measured steps of the fire escape, rather than tumbling off of the roof’s ledge.
His hand travels down, taking your breast in his hand and massaging it with his entire palm, working in tandem with his tongue in your mouth.
You feel both his tongue and his hand at your pussy, clenching tighter, and nearly getting as wet as your smirks.
He groans softly, shoulders bending back.
He momentarily removes his hand from you as he peels his jacket off of his frame, first his left sleeve, then his right, folding the jacket in half and gently tossing it over to your couch.
And then, his hand returns, and the other joins it, groping your chest and pushing your breasts into you. You lay your hands on top of his and follow his round motions, intertwining and closing your fingers around his fingers as they feel you.
His thumbs flick over both of your nipples. You can only feel part of the sensation, with your blouse still on, and given the light padding in your bra. But it’s more than enough to send twitches to your pussy as it drips with more arousal.
Your thighs tighten and clasp together, hips swirling.
Your head dips back as you take in a long, deep breath, followed by shallower ones.
It feels like you’ve been drowning. 
Jungkook watches you, hands slowing to a stop.
“Everything OK?”
“I haven’t been kissed like that in a long, long time,” you say, dazed. “And I barely know you.”
Jungkook smiles. “I’m Jungkook.”
You laugh, “Yes, but—” 
“Why don’t I tell you what I know,” he says quietly, and thoughtfully. 
He runs his fingers down the collar of your blouse. You barely feel him, but your chest feels so tense.
“I know that you’re sweet.”
He runs his index finger down your chest. As he unbuttons the first button with just his right hand, your eyes unfocus, lids falling slightly closed, and your tilting head sending them back.
“I know that you’re kind.”
The second button is a little harder to undo. You had to replace it after the thread came loose, and you overdid the fix just to be sure. He’s still able to unbutton it with just one hand.
“I know that you’re funny.”
The third button opens, and he rolls it in his fingers as he tickles your belly button, making you giggle and squirm.
“I know that you’re feisty. And really competitive. Which I’m gonna have tons of fun with.”
You laugh as he hooks his finger around the fourth button, which falls open. He barely even had to touch it. You feel your shirt spreading apart at your shoulders, and you feel the slight breeze from the window on your chest.
“I know that you’ve had a shitty day.”
You soften as he undoes the last button at the end of your blouse.
“And I wanna make you feel better.”
His hands move up your hips, and waist, and he moans softly at the feel of your skin. 
He bends down and kisses just above your right breast, as his hands run up your chest and to your shoulders, slipping under that polyester blend and running down your arms, your blouse traveling with them.
You hear the crumple of sangria-stained fabric fall on the ground.
Jungkook’s lips find a spot on your neck, and you lean back to give him room.
Your hands sneak under his hoodie, and you take the time to grope every single muscle on his back, each of them covered in a slight sheen of sweat.
“Mmm,” he whispers, as you hook your arms under his and pull him closer. 
“Why have you been wearing two layers?” you finally ask, feeling the weight of his sweat in the fabric. “It’s so hot.”
“I haven’t done my laundry yet. These are the last clean clothes that I have. And this is thin.” 
He tugs on the front and looks down.
“You can see my nipples through it.
Your frown is weighted with empty promises when you look down. 
“In the light, I mean,” Jungkook chuckles.
“That’s a feature, not a bug, Jungkook.”
He has no idea what you’re talking about, but he’ll take it, with the way you’re softly moaning as you run your hands across his chest.
“You wanna see them?”
“Uh-huh. Let me turn on the light.”
“Or you could just take this off.”
You almost would prefer to turn on the light, because, now that you know his back is made of nothing but rippling muscle, you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle the full sight of his chest. 
But you bite your lip, and tug.
He pulls his arms down, and then he shakes his hair free, as you pull the hoodie from his head.
You wish you could take a picture of the resulting floof, so soft and cute.
And then you let your eyes drift down to his chest.
He watches with interest as you trace each of his pecs with your fingers. 
“Live up to your expectations?”
You realize your mouth has been hanging open.
You look into his eyes.
“Shattered them.”
He laughs, and then you go back to admiring his body. You wonder what he does. Weights, obviously, as supported by his strong, defined arms. Maybe he swims, given his waist. He probably likes to run, too. He can probably run for hours. In fact, with all the gallivanting around tonight, his heart’s gotta be like that of a stallion.
This bodes well for you.
The only way he can pry you away from that body is by tilting your chin up and stealing your gaze with his eyes.
His lips flutter against your jaw line until they meet yours again.
With your chests mashing together, and your kisses stretching on for longer, busier spans of time, you’re starting to work up a sweat.
“Bedroom?” you ask, panting.
He nods quickly and looks around to figure out which door it is.
You smile and take his hand, leading him to the far right, past your kitchen, and to your room, to your perfect, comfy bed.
You slide out of your shoes, undo your pants, and let them fall to the floor before climbing onto the bed and sitting in the middle.
And you run your hand across your chest as you watch him take his time, kicking off his shoes, taking off his pants, standing there in his black boxer-briefs and just grinning at you.
“Are you gonna join me or what?”
When your head tilts to the side, weighted with impatience, he scrunches his face again, and laughs.
He crawls as he follows you, watching you to make sure you’re comfortable as you lie down, and then settling on top of you, like you both wish he had done on the roof.
“You playing with me?” you mumble through a smile, as you bring your arms around him.
He kisses the inside of your upper arm and rubs it with his hand. “No,” he says simply. “Just like looking at you.”
You sigh as he kisses you.
It’s a little faster. Hungrier. Like before.
He leads you back with his lips, and when he looks down at your chest, you arch back, fingers finding the band and undoing the clasps in the back.
He lets out a sigh when he sees your bare chest.
He locks eyes with you, and his look says it all. Equal parts tender and fascinated. You wouldn’t believe the look on anyone else, but after tonight, you know that there is no disingenuous bone in Jungkook’s body. 
You are beautiful.
He smiles as he snatches your bra from your hand and tosses it behind him, rushing forward to you and pinning you down to your pillow with his kiss, both of you laughing and grunting happily.
You place your hands on his hips, and then stroke his thighs.
You run the backs of your fingernails to his crotch, and he lets out a low moan.
“OK?” you ask.
“Yeah. Yeah, please.”
You fondle his cock, hard, and getting harder, while you grasp it with firm pressure. He whines so sweetly as your hand runs up and down its column, his underwear keeping it pinned against him, nearly choking it off.
His left hand claims your left breast, starting to massage it, and his right hand strokes your panties, twisting as your body starts to writhe against your mattress, the fabric riding higher and getting caught in your swelling, dripping flesh. 
Your kisses are becoming more and more impassioned with each need being met.
He starts to dip his fingers between your pussy lips, letting your clit part his index and middle fingers as his wrist rocks back and forth.
As you moan on each stroke, he lifts his lips from yours and rests his temple against your collarbone.
“Can I taste you?” he asks hopefully.
You look at him and nod in desperation. 
He smirks and kisses down your body, taking your panties and pulling them down to your calves. He’s so impatient that he starts to eat you out before they’re even fully off, and you take turns between giggling while trying to kick them off completely, and groaning at each dizzy lick of his tongue tip, spiraling around your clit, and sending you spiraling into your own abyss.
Your hips start to match his motion, but then his hands grasp your hips and pin you down.
You feel yourself fighting against him, and that tight, added resistance has you seeing stars. The sensation travels in waves over your body, never quite settling in one place. Your shoulders carry you from left to right. Your ass digs down, then pumps up. Your back locks, then arches. All of your movements fail miserably at quelling the disquieted sections of your body, only shifting the tension from muscle to muscle.
He pins your thighs down with his forearms, and then holds you open with his thumbs, his tongue laying flat and changing from spirals to broad, heated, pressured brushstrokes up and down, at an even, unhurried tempo.
You whimper as you start to feel little shivers of pleasure tickle your body. You wet your lips and press them together, choked-off grunts getting louder and louder.
“Fingers?” Jungkook asks.
“Mm -hmm.”
He grunts as he shifts his weight, letting your left thigh go, and softly pushing it to the side to widen your spread a little.
His hand is warm and covered in your sweat.
He lays the pad of his thumb against the entrance of your pussy, pressing slightly, and then he sucks the juice that collects around it.
“Tight little thing,” he mumbles. “Not ready for me yet.”
You groan at all the things that means.
He slides the tip of his index finger in. At first, you feel yourself fighting him, but when he starts to suck your clit, you feel yourself start to shift that tension up to your extremities. Your hands ball into fists. Your toes curl. Your throat closes off as you try to wail. 
His entire finger slides inside, and you feel your walls conforming to his knuckles. 
He starts to pump, and you hiss.
The sound of wet muscle doubles, and you feel his groans against your clit as his hips start to snap into his own fist. 
He keeps his mouth open as you rock against his mouth, tongue stretching into your folds as you slide around his finger, moving faster, his other fist matching your pace stroke for stroke.
As the edges of a soft, warm release start to take you, he slips another finger inside of you, and you let out a loud moan. 
Jungkook hums, pleased with how pleased you are.
“Shit, it feels so good,” you whine, before resting the back of your forearm over your lips and biting down.
He quickens his speed. Curves his fingers up.
You tighten around him, and he lets out a sigh, his temple resting against your thigh, eyes dazed over as he watches his fingers disappear inside of you over and over again, while his other fingers tighten their grip around his leaking cock.
He grunts again, and then, he places his lips over your clit, sealing it in his mouth, and sucking again.
When you come, you sigh, laughing a little at how unexpectedly delirious you feel. 
Your body is still shivering when he stands over you, his pace slowing, but his cock still has a ways to grow. 
It’s already so big.
You can’t wait.
“Come here,” you motion, directing Jungkook to come around the side of the bed.
“You sure?” he asks, obviously excited.
“After that?” you say, delighted. 
You roll onto your side, hugging the edge of the mattress, and open wide for him, eyes gleaming as you look up at him.
His hand cradles the back of your head as you try to take him in one gulp. It takes you a minute to get the angle right, jaw driving you left and right, tongue flat, then narrow and pointed, until you surround him with your lips, and you start to bob your head back and forth, halfway down his shaft.
He takes a shaky breath in, and you smile when you hear him let out a little, “whoo.”
He comes out of your mouth with a pop as you lick your precum-glossed lips and ask, “You like it?”
You see only his hair floof shake up and down. His head has fallen back, the strong pillar of his throat bulging forward, collarbones out, chin directed up at the air. 
You watch as you suck harder, his crown regally announcing itself through the curtains of your tonsils, muscle meeting your throat.
Jungkook hisses, bringing his hands up to the sides of his head, and raking his fingers through his hair. 
You move back and forth again, your pillow collecting your sweat as you go.
The longer you go, the more you feel him resisting.
You place your hands on his hips to find that they’re shaking. 
When you pinch them, he moans, and he finally lets himself thrust.
You groan as he pushes into you, taking shallow breaths in through your nostrils as he sinks further and further into madness. How you take him so easily, and yet, how beautifully tight and slippery your throat is. How patient you are, and how careful he has to be. It’s driving him sinfully insane. 
Before it gets too far, he pulls out, slow at first, and then quick, as you catch your breath, and he tenses.
“Again?” you prompt weakly, opening your mouth.
“I have to fuck you,” Jungkook demands. “Now.”
You laugh at how serious he looks, his eyes darting around your bedroom.
“What are you looking for?”
You get out of bed and scurry to the bathroom, Jungkook smiling and pinching your ass as you go.
You lead him to the bathroom, the door opposite your kitchen, and you quickly locate them under your sink. 
“These OK?” you ask, holding up the box. 
He rips one from the rest.
And then he sets it on the sink, taking the box with him and marching back to your bedroom.
You laugh, running up to him and jumping onto his back, wrapping your legs around his waist and peppering his neck and traps with kisses.
He kisses your forearm and giggles.
And then something catches his eye.
He stops.
“Ooh. What’s that?”
You look over to your kitchen counter and spot the simple snacks you’d left out for yourself, thinking you’d be treating yourself for the weekend.
“Is that candy?” he asks.
“Chocolate, infused with weed.”
He looks back at you and smirks.
“You wanna?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. “We haven’t eaten in a while. And they’re kinda strong.”
Jungkook beams. “Even better.” But then he pushes out his lips. “Unless you were saving—”
“I’m down if you’re down,” you say happily. “Go get ‘em.”
He hoists you up higher onto his back, and you tighten your grip around his shoulders, as he walks over to the counter.
He unwraps the gold foil and breaks off a square. He raises it up and behind him to your lips. You take his fingers into your mouth and suck. He leaves his hand there so that you can suck the rest of the chocolate off of them, too. He beams at you, and you lean forward to kiss him, before he takes another square for himself.
He licks his fingers as he brings you back to bed, the two of you laughing as you go.
And then, he stumbles, tripping, turning just in time to throw you onto the bed, while he falls to the floor.
“Oh my god!” you cackle, as Jungkook pops back up, your pants, and your powder blue stapler, tangled up and around his foot.
“I’m sorry!” he calls out, pulling them off and throwing them back down. 
“Are you OK?” you ask, still giggling.
Jungkook furrows his brow and looks at the ground. He disappears, and then pops back up again, holding up a sleeve of condoms.
“Yes. Yes I am.”
He rips one off the end and puts it on, crawling over you as you lay back.
“Mmm,” you sigh, as he pushes into you.
His neck lolls forward, and you grab his hair floof in your fingers.
“You OK?” Jungkook asks gently.
You wonder how many times he’s had to ask someone that.
He’s so long, but his girth. So wide. So full. And so heavy, with want, and passion, and excitement. 
“You said that you had to fuck me,” you say, hands grabbing onto his ass. “So fuck me.”
He starts to move, pulling back, and then rocking forward, your bodies bobbing up and down as your movements build off of each other, more pleas floating out of your mouths. 
Like this.
His eyes find that spot above your right breast.
“What?” you ask, slightly distracted by the look on his face.
“I think there’s a small bruise.” He presses a kiss to your cheek. “I’m sorry about that.”
“That’s OK,” you say, scoffing. “If I need to, I can cover it up with something.”
“So can I.”
His mouth latches there, and he starts to bite, and suck. You feel your skin giving way to him, like it’s breaking open and spilling all over you, instead of Jungkook’s pool of spit. 
“Oh my god,” you whisper, your hips starting to roll at the combined sensation. “Don’t stop.”
As his thrusts get harder and deeper, he shifts all of his weight to his left side, and his right hand slides down to your clit, starting to rub in those circular motions again. You roll against him, knees in the air, swaying open, then back closed around his waist. 
Everything’s a blur.
He stiffens as he pumps, deeper and deeper, the bed rocking under your weight, his own tiny sighs getting louder as you start to wail.
All the while, his teeth pinch and nibble that spot on your chest, and you feel your legs starting to shake.
You’re on the brink of another orgasm.
When he stops.
“No, no, no, no,” you whimper, fluttering.
Jungkook giggles.
“Don’t stop!”
“I’m not. Not completely.”
His voice deepens, and softens, as it rumbles through your hair to your ear. 
“Think about how crazy it’ll feel when you come.”
He runs his wet index finger around your right nipple, and he kisses the hickey he’s just given you just above it. 
Jungkook grins. “Ah, you asked so nicely.”
He starts to thrust into you again, and you fall right back where you were, covered in tingles and sweat, body starting to spasm, shaking even harder than you were starting to before.
He’s right.
Jungkook, this beautiful stranger, who is dipping in and out of your frenzied pussy, cock slamming, and disappearing, whose hand is furiously pawing at your clit and making you overflow with arousal, making every muscle inside of you tremble, and then freeze and release, exploding and sending you reeling, is absolutely right.
When you come, you do feel crazy.
And so does he, getting off on how you moaned for him, babbled nonsense because of him. 
A few tears are pooling in the corners of your eyes.
You feel so raw.
A good kind of raw.
Not like before, when Jungkook first saw you crying.
The kind of raw that tells you that you’ve washed the day off of your tired skin and are reborn.
You look at him in contemplation.
“You’re lucky I like overstimulation.”
“Taking note,” Jungkook observes, slowing his thrusts. “What else do you like?”
“What do you like?”
“I like spanks.”
“Me too,” you say. “Giving and receiving.”
He stops his thrust altogether, intrigued.
“Then spank me,” he orders. “Right now.”
You do, as you bite your lip and smile.
“No, really, spank me,” Jungkook says, reaching for your arm.
You fight off his wiggling fingers, lean forward, and pack a wallop into your slap on his ass, watching it shake.
“Ow! Not that hard!” he whines, rubbing the spot.
“I’m sorry!”
He collapses into giggles, curling up in your sheets.
“I’m kidding. You’re kind of weak.”
You scrunch up your face and spank him all over his body, but then he picks you up, tickling you and sending you into a cackling frenzy.
“Jesus fucking— Stop! Stop! You win!” you cry.
“Say I’m the flip cup champ!” Jungkook demands.
“Say it!”
“B-but you aren’t!”
“Say it or I won’t stop!”
You can’t breathe, you’re laughing so hard. “I’m the flip cup champ!”
Jungkook pinches your side, and you squeal.
“You’re the flip cup champ!” you holler. “Jungkook is the flip cup champ!”
Jungkook laughs with haughty satisfaction as he lies down on his side, kissing you as you start to float back down next to him.
As your cackles slow, you turn to him and run your fingers over his pretty, kiss-swollen mouth.
“What do you wanna do now?”
“I dunno. What do you wanna do?”
“I dunno.”
“What were we doing, anyway?”
You stare at each other, dumbfounded.
He laughs and turns to you, wide-eyed. “I think we were having sex?”
You cackle. “Oh shit, right!” You kiss him. “Let’s do that. Let’s do more sex.”
“Shit,” he giggles. “This is not a reflection of the quality of sex we were having, by the way. I’m having an amazing time.”
“I know. Me too.” You smile. “I’m having fun.”
You’ve been in the clouds since meeting Jungkook. But everything feels even hazier. The boundaries of your mattress, nightstands, walls, ceilings, and floors are melding. Softening. 
And so is Jungkook’s happy, smiling face.
You grin and scrunch your nose. 
“Hmm. I guess the edible hit.”
“Guess so,” Jungkook celebrates, eyes shining.
“Let me ride you,” you say warmly, but excitedly, kissing him as you get on top. “You’ve been doing all the work.”
“You’ve been putting work in, too. And you can’t ride me better than I’ve been fucking you,” Jungkook teases.
“Are you shitting me?” you ask, aghast. “Is that a dare?”
“Try it and find out.”
You slap his chest, and he laughs.
And while you sink down onto him, he sighs lightly, licking his lips and curling them into a smile.
First, you tantalize him by weaving slow circles, clenching him so tightly, that he hisses the same way he did when he was in your throat. 
His hands slap onto your thighs and grab on.
You start to bounce up and down, and he watches your breasts jiggle as you do, his left hand reaching up and squeezing the right one as his right hand squeezes your thigh.
And then, you lean forward, and rock against him. You move so sweetly, whether you’re gently stroking him with your flesh, or riding him so tight and hard that he can’t see straight. It seems that you’re headed that way, with how hard your fists are gripping his shoulders.
He moans compliments as you ride. 
“You’re goddamn gorgeous.”  
“You feel so good.” 
“So, so tight. If you clench even harder, I’ll—”
And you do.
He won’t be able to last.
But then you stop.
His mouth falls open.
You lean forward and scoop him up into a kiss.
“Think about how crazy it’ll feel when you cum,” you joke.
“You are driving me crazy.”
You giggle through another moan. “Butt-crazy?”
Jungkook whines. “Don’t be cute. And don’t talk about butts. I might ask you to do something, and I feel like that’s a question for when we know each other a little better.”
“Keep going the way you are, and if you ask it tonight, I might say yes.”
“Oh god.”
But you still don’t budge.
He places his hands on your waist and frantically tries to get you to bounce. Tries tickling you. Pinching you. 
“Agh, c’mon.”
“Nope. This is payback for—”
Jungkook finally just grabs you by the hips. Holds you in place. Starts to pump up and into you.
He’s relentless.
You give complete control to him, barely able to hold yourself up. 
But he’s got you. 
The strokes feel like flames, deep, hot, and fast, making your pussy pulse, arousal leaking, even threatening to spurt out of you because of how full you are.
When your elbows start to tremble, threatening to give way, he wraps his arms around you hugging your chest to his. His strokes have started a wildfire in your core, and you’re sweating so much that when your head falls to him, there’s a splash of it onto your temple. 
Everything in your body is clamping down. Shutting down. You can’t stand it anymore. All this tension. 
The release is almost unbearable.
You both howl, your orgasm coming first, and his coming soon after, your bodies tied up in knots as you strain to stay together, transferring each flicker and spasm to one another, until you both collapse back down to the mattress.
“Let me cool you down,” he mumbles, fighting the oncoming drowsiness.
“What?” you ask.
But he’s already sliding down your body.
He licks at your pussy, lapping up all of your arousal.
You start to feel waves rolling up your calves.
He spits it all back onto you, making you gasp.
He keeps licking, sucking on your clit, sucking on your lips, and gently running his fingers across your stomach, like little comforting tickles.
You come, softly, and quietly, gentle shivers helping your body stretch back out and relax, resolving the rest of the tension that hadn’t quite unfurled from before.
You watch him army crawl back up the mattress and laugh softly when his completely drenched hair floof hits the pillow next to you.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says.
“Nothing,” you answer. “My mind is completely blank.”
“Good.” Jungkook grins. “That was the third thing you wanted, wasn’t it?”
All you can do is stare at his proud, accomplished, wondrous grin.
And before he pulls you into a soft, tender kiss, he tells you.
“You were right. I find that things usually work out. And that’s because I always make sure that they do.”
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The sun stings your eyes. It feels chemical. Even with them closed.
Slowly, you pry them open. First the left. Then the right. You blink slowly, then rapidly, the world coming into focus as you do.
Where are you?
Oh. That’s right. Home.
Why did you forget that you were home? You’re always home.
Though it feels like you haven’t been home in ages.
Why is it so bright?
Yes, it’s day time. But it’s so—
Right. The city blackout.
But how did you know the whole city was affected? Whenever anything in your apartment goes wrong, you pretty much ignore it and continue puttering around your apartment until you get some kind of text from a co-worker—
Anyway, you guess you’ll putter around until you somehow find out from someone that whatever you were experiencing was actually part of some kind of mass event—
Riiiiiiiight. The block party. 
Hold on.
Why are you smiling about the block party?
Why are you giggling about the block party?
Why do you feel so sore?
And what time is it?
You lift your head, too quickly at first, feeling immediately unsteady. You shut your eyes and let your body find equilibrium before trying to step back outside of yourself. When you’re ready — there’s no rush, you, for some reason, kindly tell yourself — you prop yourself up on your elbows and look to your nightstand to find out.
And you see four things.
Your clock, reading 8:43 AM.
Your powder blue stapler.
The Hulk.
And, under his feet, a small note, scribbled on a piece of paper. Torn, like his shorts.
It’s 8:20. I think you’re almost up, but you look pretty comfy, so I don’t want to wake you. Going to the Chans for breakfast. 
As everything comes swirling back to you — the dumpsters; and Mrs. Chan’s walnut chicken; Yugyeom and his sangria; Shik and your stapler; Mr. Jeup, Deji, her cookies, her crush, and Crunkook-oppa ; Yon and Yeo in the candlelight; and, not least of all, Jungkook’s beaming face framed by that unspeakably wondrous, starry, starry sky — you’re glad, thrilled, that some memories from last night were absolutely worth keeping.
So you leap out of bed to make more.
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2K notes · View notes
taegularities · 4 months
stars behind waves | jjk (m)
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Summary: With a decade’s distance between Jungkook and you, your paths cross on the same island you deemed your second home years ago. And you realise once again – the ocean can never compare to the twinkle in his starry eyes.
➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader ➳ rating: 18+ ➳ genre: estranged best friends to lovers, vacation/beach!au; angst, fluff, smut ➳ warnings: so so much yearning and pining, gentle fuckboy jk cos i’ve no control over myself, a bit of jealousy, the first kiss, arguments/fighting, unresolved issues, heartbreak, angry confessions; explicit sexual content: making out, asking for permission, dom & big dick jk, handjob in the shower, oral (m. & f. receiving), some clit slapping, some biting, squirting, jk loves her tits... and her ass even more, fingering, protected sex, soft and rough sex, body worship !!, jk is SUCHHH a goner, he comes on her ass, aftercare, praises; so many emotions; lmk if i forgot smth! ➳ wc: 22.7k ➳ a/n: here we gooo !! @missgeniality​​ & @voiceswithoutlips​​ my angel betas, as usual, i’d be lost without you 😔  i’m really happy with how this one came out, so i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i did writing it !! as always, don’t forget to drop a message in my inbox – it makes my day <33
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➳ listen to the SBW playlist for the full experience 💙  
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There is a long lost beach somewhere at the end of the world.
It belongs to a blooming, floating island, pleasant and hot. Wildlife chirps hidden behind trees, calm and welcoming. There are waterfalls that must be somewhere in the middle of the island – you’re not quite certain anymore, since your memory of the place has weakened over time.
You do remember the sun that descended there, though – you always used to say it wasn’t the same as the one you admired at home, watching from your garden.
Jungkook would always reprimand you, tut at you, throw tiny little shells at your bare thighs until you, furied and irritated, abandoned him at the beach. He would stay there until the moon rose from the east, and you would watch him from afar.
He never walked away before you came back and sat down with him again, brushing away your prior fight to resume your conversation as though nothing happened. Your parents tended to observe your constant banter and the quiet apologies that followed; they called you tender and strange kids, and you guess you couldn’t quite disagree.
But to your defence, you weren’t the only child uttering peculiar things.
Jungkook loved to indulge in a world that defied science and nature’s rules. He liked to bend and twist images in his head, paint them new and refine them as he pleased. The bubbly, doe-eyed boy would explain to you that stars became closer the more you neared the horizon.
He had this detailed opinion that the flicker shining above the ocean was nice and all, but that it couldn’t compare to the burning stars behind the sea. The sky is infinitely nearer the further you swim, he used to tell you, the idea firmly attached to his guileless heart.
And this heart – it was bigger than the universe, too big to fit into that small body.
Because he enjoyed your smile; made sure to keep it plastered to your face.
One time, he pointed to the horizon and told you that there’d come a summer when he’d be big, old and strong enough to wade through the waves. Arrive at the edge, the big Behind of the ocean, and that he would dive back to you and bring you a handful of stars.
You were eight back then.
It was one of the first summers your families spent together, on an island that was a lot quieter back then, with only a tiny society living and breathing there. It housed a few cottages you’d rent to enjoy the beach for a few weeks.
And for a long time, it truly was a long lost beach for you, at the very end of the world, because the drive from your home to the island’s nearest town took ages. Then, you would step onto a ship that would bring you to the island, and even though it took just an hour or two for you to get there, it felt like you’d travelled for days.
Like you were travelling to a foreign world.
It was its very own world.
Now, there is a teeny tiny airport at the back of the island. You’ve come to realise that this place is not the end of the world, but the end of your country. And it’s not a lost beach either, but one you’ve turned into a stranger yourself.
You’d spend seething hot days on cruises with your parents, dig holes in the sand with your cousins or build castles with Jungkook. Stroll along the shore, throw each other into the water, grow up together and fall in love slowly, but surely.
That place… you don’t recognise it anymore.
You’re not even sure how you landed here. Maybe for the sake of nostalgia, weak to saudade. You’ve journeyed most of the world – or at least seen the places written all over your little travel diary.
That you’d ever go full circle and come back here, to watch the other sun go down and to let the new colours of dusk flatter your sight – you didn’t really expect it.
The ice in your cocktail has already melted. You don’t mind, though. You’re too busy looking around the resort that the island has become, hearing conversations between tourists that you sometimes understand and sometimes don’t.
Your cousin Seokjin, his fiancée and said fiancée’s best friend dragged your workaholic ass to vacation almost forcefully. The only demand you had in return was that you wanted to be able to decide where to go.
Seokjin has always been a fan of this place – just as long as you. So to say he was over the moon might be an understatement. But your beloved cousin was also the first person in your circle who blacked out before anyone else.
The first thing he did was empty his stomach of everything he ate on the plane. His fiancée Chae is currently “quarantining” with him in their hotel room, rubbing her darling’s back as though he has suffered a hospital-ripe illness.
In truth, Seokjin just doesn’t know which meals and drinks to mix. And he’s scared of flying. And he can’t handle eating in a moving vehicle.
He’s not truly sick – he’s just an idiot.
Chae’s friend Seoyeon, who you’ve met plenty of times and who excused herself to the bathroom, comes back with newfound energy and unwavering elegance. She puffs out a breath as she takes a seat on the bar stool next to you, praising, “The bathrooms are impeccably clean here.”
“They better be,” you respond, tapping your glass, “we paid a shit ton for this vacation.”
“I’m gonna be working my whole life to not feel guilty anymore.”
“This life and probably the next one, too.”
She smiles, her eyes scanning the bustling place and squinting when she stares into the bright lights, and you follow her gaze slowly. Somewhere in the distance, you hear waves crashing and the ocean’s silent songs. Despite the inebriation hanging in the air, you feel sober and at peace – fortunately not regretting that you were practically forced out of work to be here.
“Have you tried my cocktail?” you ask, pushing the glass towards her.
She shakes her head enthusiastically, manicured nails gripping the drink carefully before she brings it to her mouth. But once a single sip slips through the seam of her lips, she grimaces, handing it back to you with a disgusted, “It’s super warm.”
You reckon it probably tastes like flavoured piss now. But her expression is worth diamonds.
She takes a deep breath and throws her head back, her coloured platinum blonde hair falling over her toned shoulders. Seoyeon has a standard pretty face one usually sees in magazines and on billboards. She sports an hourglass figure, flaunts her gym membership; a beautiful smile with rosy lips always stares back at you.
And she’s incredibly kind, too.
You don’t know her that much. She’s the type of friend you don’t really miss when you don’t talk for weeks or months on end. You don’t think about her by your own will that much, but you must admit that she’s a delight to hang out with.
That is, until she excuses herself to explore the crowd gathered around here, and you use the perfect moment to draw back and check on your cousin.
On the way to your hotel, you spot a pathway leading to the forest that you seem to recognise. Even the tree looks somewhat familiar to you – and when you step closer, you realise why. It has your name eternalised on it – you think Jungkook did it back when you suggested carving your existence on this island.
You must’ve been around fifteen back then. You don’t remember much of the summer anymore – in truth, most of the years often blend into one, and it becomes hard to distinguish them from each other. Most of the time, you hold onto the hairstyles you carried or the clothes you liked to wear…
Seokjin and Chae are playing a game of Uno when you knock at their door; they look happy and healthy, keen on staying in for the first night, since your schedule is so tightly packed for the next days anyways.
For thirty or forty minutes, you join a few rounds and lose almost all of them. You rage at your brother figure that people with the name Kim Seokjin should not participate in competitive games anymore, starting from today and into eternity.
You leave their room with a grin on your face and a lit heart; though the feeling of ecstasy fades a little to give way to surprise. Seoyeon’s room is right next to yours; and as you pass by, you hear obscenely loud and lewd sounds echo out of it. In all honesty, she and her fling might destroy the hotel bed tonight.
In your slight tipsiness, you roll your eyes, wish her a good railing and walk on. But you can keep up the ignorance for only so long – because when you can’t seem to fall asleep an hour or two later either, you come to an angry stand.
What’s enough is enough, and if the animalistic couple on the other side of the wall won’t calm down, you’ll go and scold the noise out of them.
You knock firmly and with furrowed eyebrows, and the sounds halt for a moment. Then, a minute later, the door opens to a crack. Scruffy hair and foggy eyes stare at you, and when she recognises you, she pulls the door back, clothed in nothing but a white sheet around her body.
“Are you fucking okay?” you question, a hand on the door frame, clutching it tight.
“What?” she wonders, eyes wide, but then her expressions relax as she adds, “I’m fucking gloriously, thank you!”
“Seoyeon,” you warn, your eyes tired, your body sinking in fatigue. The flight was barely two hours long, but the previous night was short, and you’ve been on your feet since the early morning. “You’re gonna wake up everyone in this hotel.”
And perhaps that’s when the realisation kicks in. You see slight embarrassment in her face, albeit not as strong as her desire to knock the door close and return to The Glorious Fucking.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, brushing her hair back, “I’m just…”
“Yeah,” you interrupt; horny – she’s horny. You know. “It’s fine. Just—”
You close an invisible zipper over your mouth, and she laughs, chiming your name before she rubs your arm with her filthy hands. You’re close to trudging away again, hoping to get at least a few hours in before you embark on your first trip tomorrow.
But the world has cruel ways to turn harmless nights into unexpected wonders.
Before you came here and swallowed the fact that you were going to see your island again, there were thoughts your consciousness kept pushing away.
Thoughts of when you were a teenager, in love and fought the sting of separation from someone who you’d grown close to. Of when you wouldn’t even unpack before walking the beach with him, like it was a ritual you’d gotten used to. Of the last evenings when you had to leave the magic of the place behind again and go back to the mortal world.
You suppressed them vehemently.
Only for them to crash back now, at an intensity that throws you off your feet and into the centre of the earth.
Maybe he heard your voice… or the utterance of your name. Maybe he knew to step out just now – because when you meet Jeon Jungkook’s gaze after more than half a decade, he doesn’t freeze the way you do.
His eyes and mouth are agape, his lower half covered in sheets as well. He’s taking small steps towards you, the way he did when he saw you after months of busy school days again when you were kids.
You still recognise all the moles you used to count. The pout of his lips and the dark hair, longer now. His strong arms, tattooed today; the same slow blinks of his eyelids as when he listened attentively.
The same glimmer in his dark, gorgeous onyxes.
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In hindsight, you could’ve handled the situation better.
You never thought of the day you’d meet again – and if you did, you can’t remember anymore. You didn’t have a speech prepared, or awaited tears that might have flowed. There was no embrace you were waiting for; least of all in a situation like this.
“I’ll be there in a second.” Seoyeon stood in front of you like a Greek goddess, winked at him, then turned to you and whispered, “You see why I was being loud?”
Jungkook and you were both baffled, to say the least, because you could barely remember the last interaction you shared with him. On this very island, the last days you spent together; and back in your town, you lost touch very quickly.
And now he’s here, visiting the same beach as you, as an adult and not the kid you remember. With his hair tickling and covering the nape of his neck, his face sharper, his eyes still carrying the same spark you knew from back then and… and…
”Hey…” he breathed.
You toss in your bed, half screeching under your blanket, your cheeks warm. You feel a hint of panic, still embarrassed that you didn’t know how to react. This brings back a lot. His hushed hey, the lack of his usual smile, replaced by nostalgic melancholy that you can’t make sense of.
“Fuck,” you whine into the air of your room, utterly confused. “Shouldn’t have fled.”
But seeing him half naked in your friend’s room, knowing they were fucking for hours – what else could you have done? Said hi back? With the thought that you were interrupting an intimate moment between your friend and your ex-best-friend?
This is strange. So deeply strange. God.
Are you dreaming? Is this island actually magical, fabricating something new and changing reality? Has something infected your mind and now you’re hallucinating everything, from the bar and the cocktails to the hotel and its hallways?
Because can it be… that he’s really here?
He… Jeon Jungkook. Here.
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Tonight, you dream of a memory.
For the first night in years, his face graces your unconsciousness, different, considering the time and place. Back when you and Jungkook were barely twelve, and discovered tide pools and small starfish at a far end of the beach.
Astonishment was a word too underrated, because your mouths wouldn’t close. The tide pool wasn’t too large, but it was clear, blue, waves of the ocean crashing against rocks.
It looked picturesque, if any word was fitting enough; out of a travel brochure. Perhaps not as beautiful as waterfalls, but tranquil and comforting nevertheless. You wondered how none of the residents here had told you about it before.
Both of you sported shorts or dresses that day – in hindsight, however, you should’ve worn something warmer. But you both left your places with the intention to hike through the forest, prioritising mobility over a swimming trip today.
But now this… you couldn’t possibly miss out on it. So you floated on the water just like that, uncaring of how wet your clothes and how cold your bodies got; unaware of the scolding you’d receive later.
They’re fleeting, both the memory and the dream.
Eyes closed, your body in a slumber, you see the water moving quietly and softly, except where the sea sways. You hear the seagulls up above, peaceful and somewhat adorable – much like in a fairytale.
You feel the chill of the liquid that soon turns pleasant, and you accidentally swallow the salty taste of the ocean. And the hand tugging at your arm appears painfully real, pulling you here and there to show you this and that.
When you wandered back to the cottages that evening, your parents were grilling. They always trusted you. You knew your way around; you’d been here often enough.
But the moment they saw you, their eyes blew wide. Furious and disappointed, they reprimanded the both of you with wiggling fingers and disappointment in their voices; promised to keep you under surveillance for the next few days until you knew they’d calm down again.
Irritation accompanying their words, they forced you to shower and get into comfortable, dry clothes, looking at you in worry and telling you again to be freaking careful.
Tide pools far away sounded dangerous in their minds – but in truth, they hadn’t seen the serene beauty with their own eyes, and wouldn’t for a year or two to come. Until then, it remained a private, magical get-away for Jungkook and you.
Later that night, after dinner, he came to where you sat under a tree, writing into your diary and painting an amateur picture of the place, the starfish and the rocks. You closed the notebook when he fell in front of you, holding something in his hands, and said, “Look.”
Your big, curious eyes squinted, and you had no clue what he meant as you asked, “What’s that?”
“For you,” he said and opened his palms.
There was a small leaf on his hands, embracing a tiny object. He unwrapped the leaf – and suddenly, a pearl shone into your face. Indescribably gorgeous, the way you saw in The Little Mermaid and other famous – animated or not – beach and deep sea stories.
As a kid, you didn’t think those fantastical luxuries existed in the real world. So when the object on his feeble, young hands proved you wrong, you exclaimed, “Woah… where…?”
“At the tide pool today,” he explained, so eternally proud and thrilled, “I put it out of the clam, because clams are overrated. It looks cooler on a leaf.”
You thought clams were really cool; but still, you smiled, overjoyed and impressed, and teased, “You’re so weird, Jungkook.”
The grin he threw back at you was incomparable, one of a kind – wide and bright. 
You still hold the night in the forefront of your memory – it was a thoroughly precious one.
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The day after, you see him at breakfast.
You didn’t know he was staying at the same hotel; in truth, you didn’t know anything at all. And now that it’s light, you get a better peek at him, realising that he’s really here and not a figment of your imagination.
Most of the time, you keep staring past each other, up to the point that you start believing he can’t see you at all. On your end, you feel awkward; not hostile, but not the biggest fan of the situation either. You lick your lips, your fork digging through your breakfast.
You’re distracted and tired, and yet again, did not sleep well at all. Now that you think about it, though, the lewd noises stopped soon after you’d knocked at Seoyeon’s door.
As you detect from afar, Jungkook is here with a group of friends you don’t know.
Three men.
One of them has already scarfed down his breakfast and is peeling one tangerine after another, eating them like his life depends on them. Another looks like he jumped out of a fashion magazine – you think he belongs on a runway, not on an island.
The last one and Jungkook have half their backs turned towards you, but never really glance in your direction. Despite the fact that you haven’t met in what feels like a lifetime, he doesn’t seem very interested.
Or perhaps, he’s dodging your gaze, too.
But you attempt your best to rid your mind of his face. Of last night and the look he shot at you.
Instead, you embark on a journey – there is a guided tour nearby, and it contains wandering up a hill, eating at a small cosy tavern and proceeding to approach cliffs that tower above the sparkling sea. Your tour guide said you’d have the opportunity to cliff dive, and you, missing the thrill of it, are one of the first to climb up.
The day goes smoothly and is almost devoid of Jeon-Jungkook-thoughts and Jeon Jungkook himself. But then…
As you near the edge of the cliff, you realise that no one’s really here. Blending out the muffled noise from below, you stand tall above everyone else, waiting for something, enjoying the brisk breeze.
Until you hear someone say, “You still enjoy cliff diving?”
You flinch a little, gasping, and he stretches out a careful arm reflexively. Your eyes follow the tattoos all over his right arm, up to his shoulder and then look straight into his face. His hair is pushed back and wet from swimming, water falling off it in droplets.
Most, if not all, of the ink is new.
His body looks strong; muscles flexing, shoulders broad, abs firm… not so new, but enhanced. The last time you met, he was already lifting weights and well built. It was when your hormones raged harder than ever before; they added something to the affection you already felt for him.
Judging by the way you looked at him back then, you thought he knew.
“Yeah,” you confirm. You clear your throat, make your voice a little more powerful. “Haven’t  done it in a while, so the jump seems a bit scary.”
“Right? Same here.”
You look at his side profile and drop your shoulders, lingering on the transparent drops on his golden clavicles and neck for a second before you tell him, “I mean, I used to travel a lot before I started drowning in work. Just not to beaches that much.”
“What brought you here then?” Jungkook inquires, raising his hand to his ear to tuck his hair back. His bicep stiffens at his action, mountainous.
“The urge to relive a summer as I used to know it?” you tell him, and he gives you a timid smile, a hint of sombre yearning in his eyes. “What about you?”
He nibbles his lips for a second, and you stare at the black dot underneath before he says, “Something similar. Namjoon… one of the friends who’s here with me, he suggested this place, ‘cause he’s been here before. And… dunno, I said yes, because for some reason I knew I’d see a familiar face again.”
He laughs, and you join, blinking when he snaps his fingers and adds, “Just like that. It was like intuition.”
“You used to say that.”
So sudden… unexpected, but also not.
Jungkook hums at your words, and you silence immediately; that your past would creep up on you so fast isn’t something you intended to happen. But then again, you guess it would’ve happened at some point anyway.
The world and a human life are made of the past and memories, after all.
You press your lips into a thin line, and he answers, “Yeah. I talked about destiny and stuff a lot.”
His tone is relaxed and calm, demolishing the awkwardness levitating between you. And going with the serenity in his voice, you reminisce, “You always said you felt it when I was sad or upset.”
“And it was true.”
Wider smiles form on your faces; the strange shifting from one leg to another morphs into a straight stance and a more comfortable atmosphere. It happens faster than you expected – then again, comfort always settled fast with him.
There was a time when you wouldn’t mince a single word, because you knew you could babble about anything and everything.
“Isn’t it crazy how they’ve monetised this island? I mean, even worse than before,” you mumble, keeping your hair out of your face. “Back then, there were a few residents. A tiny market. You could get most necessities, but that was it. It’s like Malta now.”
Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing – you’ve seen a small number of islands since you started travelling around. It’s just that this place… your place… it feels different now.
“Right? Years ago, this felt like my own little paradise,” he answers, his eyes tracing the invisible line the flying seagulls and birds leave behind. “The places I used to explore and climb are closed now. It’s pretty sad.”
Your focus remains on the birds far away until your sight blurs, unblinking and lost in thoughts and his soothing voice. Never in a lifetime did you imagine you’d be standing here, conversing about such a topic, with no one less than him. You thought you had put his existence behind.
The universe shook some dice in its hands and calculated the odds of you meeting again; you’re sure they were narrowly slim, but you’re living in that alternate multiverse now.
Your unmoving stance only breaks when people pass by you, finally discovering the cliffs, too. Jungkook and you watch as they jump into the air, curl into a ball or stretch their hands over their heads, diving into the chill of the water.
He watches until the splash happens, and then asks, “Are you gonna jump or not?”
“Yeah, of course. I will,” you answer, taking a deep breath.
You step closer to the edge and look down, watch the people as they swim aside. The water is clear and blue, transparent enough to detect some fish and other sea life. The ocean stretches endlessly.
Jungkook clears his throat, shuffles his feet across the warm ground and suggests, “Wanna hold my hand for reassurance?”
“No,” you laugh, shaking your head lightly. It’s what you used to do as kids. “I’m okay… but thank you.”
And with that, you take a run-up, gathering every ounce of courage you can possibly muster. You suck in a deep breath, empty your thoughts and jump off the cliff in one go. The adrenaline kicks in within a nanosecond, and you close your eyes, your heart and gut dropping.
For a small moment that you float in the air, you wonder if Jungkook is following, or if he’s watching – what he might be thinking. And then—
You sink and sink, feeling as though you might touch the ground any moment now. But instead, you straighten your body and hold your breath, stretching your arms before you begin to push the water down; swimming upwards.
Underneath the surface, the world is quiet. The noise isn’t even muffled – it’s non-existent. Just for now, you forget that the crowd at the beach exists. Forget that you’re not alone with him, on your very own island. It’ll always be yours, no matter how many bars and hotels they plant here.
You break the barrier separating waterlife and your own species with a sharp gasp. You take in the crisp air, floating with the waves, and brush your hair back. Open your eyes and look to and fro until another body appears a few metres from you.
Jungkook didn’t jump too far from you, and in a sense, he’s right next to you. Upon seeing you, he flashes a thumbs-up, squinting one eye shut and smiling at you with infinite joy.
Pushing his hair back seems a reflex he’s taught himself – and the sight is breathtaking. Bare, strong shoulders peek out of the water. He mesmerises you with harmless swimming motions, his bicep hard.
And when he’s crawled close enough to you, his chest grazes your arm underwater for a moment – probably unintentionally, but it paints your skin in goosebumps nevertheless.
Sidestroking to the shore, you set another goal in your mind. Higher this time – more of the adrenaline rush.
Your laughter never dies as your wobbly bodies come out of the water, dripping, your swimwear heavy. The sun warms your skin pleasantly as you walk up to the cliffs slowly, next to each other, still sighing from the thrilling feeling.
There’s not much of a conversation going on between you. It could be awkward, but instead, you feel tranquil. The bustle around you fills the silence anyway.
And then, he nudges your elbow once, and you look at him, hearing him say, “How have you been?”
After the last five to ten minutes, you didn’t expect such a mundane small-talk-question. But you jump aboard, telling him, “I’ve been okay. The last few years of college were rough. But hey, now we’re here, with a steady job which I took some days off from. What about you?”
“I’m well. Opened a bookstore.”
Your mouth forms a surprised Oh, and you nod in admiration, your beam genuine when you remember, “You always told me you wanted to. Always liked to read, didn’t you?”
“Yeah! Yeah, it’s nice,” he says. Somewhere in his chest, a spot heats up – it’s sweet that you still know. “I’m also majoring in something on the side. Started late, took my time… but I’m almost done.”
“There's individual time and pace for everyone… you did well. Congratulations, seriously. On the bookstore and the major.”
Jungkook’s demeanour turns shy, and he lowers his head, looking to the ground. A hand rubs the back of his neck and he thanks you timidly and quietly. He still has some traits of his younger self.
“Hey,” you then call out, flinging an arm around a tree to pull yourself forwards faster, “where’s your room back at the hotel? I didn’t see you anywhere there until I knocked at Seoyeon’s door last night.”
“Uhh…” he hums, trudging up the steep hill, “judging from the fact that you could, mmh… well, hear everything last night. Pretty much across from Seoyeon’s room.”
So that means. Across from your room, too.
Of course.
Why would higher deities put him on another floor if he could be right in front of your gaze?
Keeping yourself from rolling your eyes, you ask instead, “Are you enjoying yourself so far?”
“Yep. My friends are fun and…”
And finding a new hook-up every night to fuck their brains out is for sure entertaining, too.
“...And I think it’s kinda cool that we met here.”
Is it? Perhaps. Could be, yeah – maybe it is, ignoring the tension between you and the weird ache in your heart and…
You heave a sigh.
For a while, you stroll up next to each other in silence. The walk to a higher cliff feels more like a march, and your chest falls heavier, your feet bare and tired. But determined, you keep the energy up, relieved when the cliff comes into sight.
Your face is heated, and you tuck your hair behind your ears. Jungkook observes you; takes in the gentle movements of your hands, the slow walk… the changes of your body. You’ve grown well.
And in turn, you glance at him when he looks away.
His golden chest sparkles, and you bite your lip. You feel like a teenager again, thrown back into younger, more naive years. You wish you could indulge in the feeling and forget the ominous occurrence from last night… his moans through your walls, the unfading lust.
But then, you remember the look in his eyes when he saw you; like he forgot about Seoyeon momentarily.
You remember his small hey. Remember the shock when you walked away.
And then, you remember all those lost years…
“Jungkook,” you suddenly blurt, coming to a halt to look at him.
He looks flabbergasted, eyebrows raised. Awaits your thoughts as you collect words on your tongue. Brave and curious, you clear your throat, your voice surprisingly steady when you ask, “Where did you go back then?”
If anyhow possible, his confusion grows further.
“I… I never went anywhere.”
“But… I don’t know,” you start, shrugging your shoulders. You turn away and begin to walk away, though slower now. “Not to me either, right? We never went on vacation anymore, yeah, but it felt like I lost a friendship I really cherished.”
Where’s the flood of words suddenly coming from? A minute ago you were asking each other how you were doing. Discussing studies and jobs. Cliff diving.
What’s wrong with you and your tongue?
But Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he furrows his eyebrows, shooting back an answer as though he came prepared, “I don’t think we lost each other. I just think we grew up.”
“No,” you defend, laughing in slight mock, “you got a girlfriend.”
He knows what you’re implying. During all those years of waiting, without ever talking things through with you or experiencing a semblance of a fight in the first place, he still reckoned you had those questions floating in your mind.
When a friendship breaks, one side of it often blames the other.
And he knows you’re throwing the blame at him.
“And we both graduated, too,” he argues. For some time, he felt guilty for abandoning you and living his life – until he realised that it wasn’t really abandonment at all. “We got busy.”
“No, I… saw your social media updates. A new girl tagged you every week.” You attempt your best to keep your voice light. To not slip into a tone judgemental enough to let your peaceful conversations derail. “And you posted pictures of new girls every now and then, too. Then you found your girlfriend and…”
You sigh, lifting your shoulders, “And that was it.”
“We just lived our lives,” Jungkook adds calmly, stepping onto the cliff you sought out. “You can’t guilt trip anyone for that.”
He’s right. You can’t guilt trip anyone for going with the flow of life.
After all, he wasn’t the first and last friend you lost.
Several more relationships broke after him. You waded through heartbreaks, overthought endless nights, got drunk until the world swayed. Like a normal human being, you’ve gathered memories and learned things.
You assume it was the same for him.
Life went on – and you can’t criticise him for it. But…
“It would’ve just been nice to know that it was the last vacation, right?” you say, smiling a bit. “None of us knew.”
“There was no way to know. I wish I’d known, too.”
The quiet that settles upon his words feels a little less peaceful than before. The aching heaviness of your past tugs at your heart and drags it down – you’re not sure if tackling this conversation was a good or bad idea.
But at least, the silence helps you close the topic. Mutually.
Like before, you wait near the edge of the cliff, repeating the process – staring into the water.
Jumping and diving doesn’t seem so frightening anymore… there are scarier things in life.
You gaze into the horizon, watch the sun go down. It’s the island sun – the one that differs from the one in the city. It’s bigger and brighter; prettier, soaking the ocean in a light orange that smiles at you sweetly.
And you think—
No one ever gets tired talking of the moon and the stars. But no one truly appreciates the sun. People curse at it and hate that it burns their bodies, but they never really rethink what the sun does for them; building a balance in the world, avoiding everlasting ice, burning hot to keep humanity alive.
An inspiration for art and literature, sharing its soul with the moon.
If there was any way, you wouldn’t just opt for the stars million light years away, but for the one your very own planet orbits, too.
Jungkook looks over at you; somehow, he resembles both the stars and this very sun. He angles his head, watches your features. And when you feel his stare linger, you lift one corner of your lips and ask, “Do you think the sun is closer at the end of the horizon, too?
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On a sunny, bright island like yours night descends late. You’re not sure where time flies or when darkness settles over the island – between the conversation with Jungkook and the hunt for your little group, only moments seem to pass.
But once dinner becomes long overdue and the guided tour ends, you find yourself sauntering along the lines of restaurants with Chae’s arm around you. Your feet are tired, your steps idle, but you can’t go to sleep when cocktail hour is just starting and your demonic stomach grumbling.
The restaurants are prettily arranged, close to the edge of the pavement; guests who choose a seat near the window can glance down into the sea. It reminds you a lot of Venice where waiters and waitresses attempt to lure you in by shouting the delicacies on their menus.
It’s pretty much the same here, but quieter, a little more peaceful. And in all honesty – the meals are the same everywhere anyway, just sold for different prices.
When you reach a place the couple in your group finds a liking in, you’re still looking down. A few metres ago, you detected Jungkook and his travel companions, laughing about a joke you didn’t hear, and a girl on his other side that you didn’t see at breakfast.
You guess it’s his latest fling.
Who could care about seeing the same face every night when there are so many bodies to explore, right? You can’t blame him.
Considering this logic, you can even ignore the sharp, uncomfortable tingling in your chest.
“What do you think of lasagna?” Seokjin asks, pointing somewhere on the fancy menu.
“Feeling something lighter today,” you tell him, skimming the pages, “but I will order a shit ton of appetisers and desserts. The amount of salt water I swallowed made me so goddamn hungry.”
“You were swimming most of the time, weren’t you?” Seoyeon asks, hands folded on top of the closed menu. She’s always the fastest to decide.
Well. Yeah.
Not counting the endless, strange dialogue with Jungkook, high above the sea level, sitting on the cliff… yeah, you could say you swam a lot.
Chae smiles at a waiter, ready to order, and he lifts a friendly finger to gesture he’d be with you in a moment. She leans forwards to you, empathy in her eyes as she asks, “You can totally choose to ignore this question.”
You already know what’s coming.
“But that was Jeon Jungkook you spoke to all day, yeah?”
Chae and Seokjin would remember.
During the very last summer you came here, the couple was freshly in love, close to making their relationship official official. On those days, you found it odd to bring a partner to a vacation with you, considering that you weren’t a fan of cropping people out of pictures in case things didn’t work out.
But they are both college sweethearts. Met in an abandoned library, fell in love harder than you considered possible in the real human world, outside the cinema screen or young adult novels. They broke up for a few months when you started college, and got back together after a heated argument and many, many tears.
Now, they’re still going strong. And after all those years, Chae still remembers the little boy you were in love with.
“I know, it’s… it’s crazy,” you say with a laugh, interrupted by the waiter’s presence.
With minor mishaps, you order your dinner for tonight, and once he walks away, you continue, “Even crazier if I told you how I met him here first.”
Next to you, Seoyeon laughs, placing her head in her hand, “Yeah. Even I’m still laughing about it. But I do feel bad, too.”
“No reason whatsoever. It’s not like you knew.”
“Yeah, but…” she begins. You’re not sure if she’s oblivious to your tone or trying to rub a wound as she says, “I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known. But now that I did…” She looks at you. “If you wanna start anything with him, go for it, ‘cause this guy’s dick is—”
“Don’t. Please,” Seokjin interrupts and you sigh in relief, looking to the side to hide your grimace, “I knew the boy when he still couldn’t tie his shoes. You’re just gonna make it weird.”
Chae throws a pitiful look at you, lifting a corner of her lips in sympathy. Seokjin leans back, points at you and chuckles, “In fact, I don’t know if you remember, but it was me who taught him.”
“Yes,” you nod, your voice too quiet in a teeming crowd. You swallow the knot in your throat; then say, “I remember. It took him so long, he renounced hanging out with me for a full day. Just to practise.”
“Do you… uh, are you gonna talk to him again?” Seoyeon asks, fiddling with her pearl earrings. “Or do you think things are too weird between you?”
“Why? You want permission to try it with him again?” you joke.
She sips on her drink for a moment before she puffs out a laugh, waving a hand in declination, “No. God, no, I don’t lack morality this much. I just think—”
She hesitates. Your face lifts and you look at her in anticipation, waiting until she tells you, “I just feel like you guys have a few things to talk about.”
You blink at her, clearly confused, not quite comprehending her words. She doesn’t know Jungkook – you wonder where the sixth sense is coming from.
“Why would you think that?” you ask.
“Well, things went dead after you knocked. He told me he knows you and that you used to be best friends and whatnot, and when I asked just one thing after that, he said he had to leave,” she explains, licking her lips, “and he did. Had to rely on my own hands afterwards.”
Seokjin laughs a little and you attempt a weak smile – but your thoughts reside in a different realm, far from your restaurant table. You don’t know what to focus on.
That he left, presumably because of you? That he didn’t answer her question, whatever it was? That his first instinct at the cliffs was to approach you, and stay with you?
What does it mean – what does he think or feel?
“What was it that you asked?” you want to know; your heart thumps in your throat.
“Well, just th–” Seoyeon begins, and the three of you lean in, listening to her attentively.
But before she can speak on, the waiter interrupts, cheerful announcements of your dinner following before he wishes bon appetit and walks away. And then, the topic shifts; the atmosphere changes.
Seoyeon must know that you’re eager to hear her thoughts, but once the conversation settles on irrelevant, everyday topics again, the both of you reckon that the moment has already passed.
So you eat your dinner in silence, merely listening to the couple’s and Seoyeon’s rambles. Usually, you like to converse – you have something to say to everything. But your mind doesn’t want to cooperate tonight.
Keeps shifting… Keeps overthinking…
The only moment when your stupor finally breaks arrives close to when you’re chewing your last bites and downing the last sips of your wine. Because there he is again – snickering and happy, perhaps a little drunk judging the light rosy blush on his face.
With his hands tugged in his pockets, Jungkook walks past your open restaurant with happiness plastered on his face. He’s without his friends, but not alone. And he doesn’t look at you; probably doesn’t really notice you. Too distracted by the girl’s sweet smile, matching his tender eyes.
She walks next to him, her sundress swaying in the breeze, and she’s babbling about something he seems to enjoy. His eyes are sparkling.
It’s unfair.
That you keep drowning in memories and thoughts of him, constantly wondering what he might be thinking; wondering if his mind floats back to you, too.
Evidently not.
And why you’re not enjoying the night and your vacation just like him, you don’t really understand.
So you walk through the place determined once the bill is paid. Hit up the cocktail bar from yesterday again, drunk on Cosmopolitans and other shenanigans. You talk to strangers, lose touch with Seokjin and the others.
The night advances in a way you didn’t expect, but in a way you should’ve strived towards from the beginning. Killing your worries and flirting the day away is much more fun than thinking about a certain doe-eyed man who’s become a stranger now anyway.
Who’s wetting his dick with the help of a girl neither of you knows.
That’s okay.
Hoseok, the guy you just met near the open dancefloor, has a radiant smile anyway – men like Jungkook might not compare after all. And you bet Hoseok’s dick works just perfectly fine. At least he has pretty hands. And amazing hair.
He says he’s a dancer, which is a bonus – means he knows how to move. He seems kind, lovely, very, very funny.
That’s absolutely okay.
It takes you a few attempts to unlock your hotel room, and you giggle through the awkwardness; one that Hoseok soon kisses away. Your moans echo off the walls and his lips roam your body – he has pretty lips, heart-shaped.
“You’re literally the hottest woman on this island,” he whispers in between nibbles.
Though, his nibbles feel strange; a little too harsh, scarring your skin. Then, he proceeds to undress you slowly… but in the process, he ruins your undies – because judging the sound, he threw it half into the cup of tea you left standing this morning.
“Flattered you would think s–so,” you stutter, and you’re certain he takes it as a sign of pleasure. But in reality, his drunk self presses his body onto yours with all his strength, cutting all air supply. “You’re not… bad either.”
Or maybe he is.
You’re sure he doesn’t lose himself like that when he’s sober. It’s just – that Hoseok is drunk. Very drunk. Out of his mind enough to barely walk in a straight line. No matter your own level of intoxication, you could at least distinguish an empty hallway from a wall.
And when enough is enough, and things just don’t sit right with you, you call out his name and tell him to stop. He’s kind enough to oblige; stares into your eyes as he mumbles, “Did I do something wrong?”
“Yeah… actually,” you tell him, taking a deep breath, “I just don’t think we go well together and… I think I don’t want this after all.”
Hoseok is civil, and truly kind. Because he backs off immediately, oscillating a bit, but his voice is honeysweet as he agrees, “Okay, babe. Totally fine by me.” He lays on the bed for a second, then looks around your room – and eventually murmurs, “I’ll go then.”
“Are you gonna find your way back?”
“Yep, no worries! One of my friends is in this hotel, gonna crash there. And sorry.”
You’re not certain if it’s allowed to bring someone in from outside. You know Hoseok rented a cottage the way you would years ago, but you reckon it’s too far now. And if he’s determined to do things his way, you won’t stop him.
He’s still apologising once you lead him out the door, and you nod and smile, reassuring that everything is okay. The bop of your head only stops once he’s gone and you detect figures across from you.
The hallway is lit, but your blurry mind needs a moment to recognise them. They exchange hushed words, conversing softly, and once your eyes refocus, you see Jungkook’s mouth lift to a smile, much like the girl’s.
From what you can hear from here, he’s apologising to her, and she shrugs her shoulders; her voice whispering, “Oh, it’s all good. I get it.”
You feel bad for eavesdropping – and you’re close to sneaking inside again before you hear her walk away slowly. A sigh sounds through the hallway, and his fingers brush his hair back. He leans against the frame of your door like you, and once he sees you, your eyes drop to the ground immediately.
But then, you guess it’s too late to play coy anyway.
So you pull the card key out of the power slot inside your room and step outside, flashing a smile to which he responds in kind. Fiddling his fingers awkwardly, he says, “Guess we’re in the same boat, huh?”
And you laugh, nodding in amusement as you answer, “Guess so.”
“What did yours do?”
“Couldn’t distinguish pleasurable nibbles from actual bites.”
Jungkook grimaces in psychosomatic pain, scrunching his nose. An old habit of his, genuine and sweet. “Ah…” His eyes dart to and fro, perhaps looking for bite marks; and when you assume that he doesn’t find any, he meets your gaze again. “Are you hurt?”
“No, no, he… wasn’t that bad. I just. Wasn’t feeling it,” you explain. He hums as you nod towards the general direction in which the girl disappeared, following Hoseok’s steps. “What’s with her?”
“I wasn’t feeling it either. Didn’t enjoy it.”
“Not as much as last night, huh?”
Jungkook huffs and clicks his tongue; shakes his head yes subtly, but then says, “I don’t remember much of it anymore.” He waits, shuffling his feet, swallowing. “Your friend is kind, but she was also… uhm— very loud without me doing much.”
That’s what it was. The yelling, the curses, the inhumane sounds.
Why do you feel relieved about it?
With a slight groan, you take a seat against the wall opposite his room, and he joins, sliding down next to his door. You angle your legs and he crosses his fingers folded in his lap. There are several tattoos on his hand and arm – you wish he could break them down for you.
Matching his tender smile, you look at him for a while; and then, you point to his door, admit that, “I didn’t expect to see you here on the island, but… I expected for your room to be so close to mine even less.”
“I know. It’s a strange wonder.”
Is it a wonder? Or is it a curse? Because you haven’t been able to think properly since last night.
You pull out loose threads from your shorts and form tiny, little balls out of them. Anything to avoid his eyes; they’re tender, but for some reason, they feel piercing to you.
“I saw Seokjin today,” he says. It’s bizarre to hear your cousin’s name out of Jungkook’s mouth; it feels familiar somehow, but new at the same time. “And he hasn’t aged a bit.”
Your lips crack open, and a sudden laugh slips out of your mouth – you’re not certain if it’s your giggle or the thumping of your heart that sounds through the hallway louder. You can hear both ringing in your ears.
But when you look at him, the beat of it stills for a second; and when he smiles again, it returns more vigorously. This is ridiculous – none of this should be crumpling up your soul like that.
It used to happen in a different lifetime, in an alternate universe, right here on the grounds of this island. It’s over. It’s done.
Done, done, done.
Stop trying to break out of your cage, you stupid organ – I’ve kept you well hidden for so long.
His large orbs look back at you in patience. He has his head thrown back against the wall, and his brilliant skin shines in the light; melatonin so beautiful that you want to brush your fingers against his jaw and cheekbones.
“You have,” you then admit, digging your fingers into your palms. If you don’t, you might reach out to him after all. “Changed, I mean.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, your jaw. It’s like you cut it this sharp with a knife.” Jungkook snickers, and you take it as a positive sign; the current bookshop owner seems to enjoy your weak metaphors. “You look taller, too. And lost the baby fat. Plus, your eyes don’t look as big anymore as they used to.”
But there’s still a starry night and an ocean swimming in them – like a deity took all waters and every spot of the universe and threw it into his gaze.
And if his face has become bigger and his eyes smaller… how were you ever able to look away all those years ago?
“You’ve changed, too,” he tells you, looking to the carpeted ground, “and lost your teenage innocence, too. I think you used to dress very differently… but you look more comfortable now. Content with yourself.”
Yeah – teenage years are a hurdle to overcome.
You might’ve struggled with your confidence when you were younger, but you guess that with those worries ghosting around your head, you ticked off another young adult experience off your list.
Adult life made you stronger and self-assured; he’s right. You reckon that with his luck in grades, friends, and girlfriends, his ego was already doing just fine.
Perhaps that’s why you parted – you guess he didn’t need you anymore.
“Do you… still live in the same house, by the way?” Jungkook asks.
“Ah, nah, I don’t.” You let your legs fall to cross them like him, wiggling your toes according to the rhythm of your heart. Anything to keep you focused. “I live in my own apartment now, but it’s not too far from our old house.”
“I see,” he remarks, thinking and humming for a second, “I live with Taehyung now. He’s two years older than me. Kinda lives his life at a faster pace, but he’s been my friend since college. And it clicks, so…”
“Yeah, I figured you’re not in a relationship or… well, married.”
Jungkook cocks an eyebrow and shakes his head, confirming your theory with a playfully and overly dramatic shiver. He mouths a no, grimaces a little; forms a cross with his arms.
And once his little act is over, he asks, “Why, are you?”
“Hell no.”
The amusement between you erupts in the form of a breathy laugh; you might be a little too loud, perhaps a disturbance among the sleeping folk. But you always used to be noisy. Never felt ashamed of your ugly chuckles or the wild flinging of your limbs – the tears in your eyes and the ache in your tummy were a delightful feeling blossoming in your body.
His presence really takes you back.
Even as a kid, you would always tell him you’d never get married – and in turn, he’d vow to you that he would only tie the knot once he owned an Audi.
You wonder if he’s purchased one now.
“This is so strange,” Jungkook whispers out of the blue.
His eyelids are shut, but once he utters the last syllable, they flutter apart, looking at you so attentively that you think he might be studying you. You and your new features, like a new novel, analysing and interpreting its content.
“What is?” you ask.
“I was just thinking about our summers together a few weeks ago,” he admits. A tattooed digit taps against his knee. “Booking this hotel and flight reminded me of them. And… you were the first person who came to mind.”
In some sense, it’s only natural for you to pop up in his thoughts. There’s not that much more that connects you both to the soil of this island. To the trees, the waterfalls and the forest. In hindsight, you guess that his face was the first thing that flashed in your memory, too.
“Of course I was,” you tease, and he smirks, “we were attached to the hip.”
“Yeah. You’d never leave me, because you liked liked me.”
Instinctively, you roll your eyes. You notice that since you took a seat on the ground, the corners of your lips never really dropped. In the world of emotions, a good sign.
For your sanity, maybe not so.
“Shut up,” you defend, tutting, “says you. You’d come crying to me after the tiniest incidents. The boy who’d complain about tiny scratches wouldn’t have survived in this wilderness without me.”
“I would have. I just chose to seek refuge in your presence.”
You fall as quiet as a mouse.
The well-spoken, heart-wrenching confession scrambles your thoughts a little. Combines today and yesterday into one – and long before you know it, his face in the moment moulds with pictures of the past.
For the umpteenth time since yesterday, your mind wanders off to the innocence he once portrayed. His huge eyes and his bread buns. Lips pouting at you.
He’d tell you how his foot grazed a sharp rock underwater; how the salt of the ocean burned on the wound; how nature betrayed him when he was just trying to swim to the edge of the world.
You’d shut down his dreamy babbling and keep applying ointment on the bleeding wounds, and he’d watch or look into the far distance. Converse with you when he could think of something to talk about. He could slip into mean and teasing moods on other days, but in those moments when you tended to his injuries, he didn’t dare to talk back to you.
For some time, you had the upper hand over the shy, little boy.
Then, you grew older.
Then, hormones rampaged.
And then, a summer tumbled in when he became a snarky teenager, rolling his eyes at you, flicking your forehead before pulling you into a suffocatingly tight bear hug. Jungkook liked to hold you, and he held you closest before you lost his affection that year.
After that, it was your heart that became the bleeding wound.
You throw your head back; now the smile has fallen – perhaps not enough for him to notice, but enough to match the storm inside you.
Your eyes well up, your waterline damp; you close them, sniffling, attempting to control and steady your voice as you say, “I did… I really did like you. I think for some time you were the biggest crush I had.”
Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up, and behind the calm gaze that never falters, you think his mind whirrs. He’s as taken aback as you are. Positively astonished that you said what you just said. Was it a mistake?
“Really?” he asks. After ages of veiled feelings, he must be flattered, maybe impressed or baffled. You just wish his expressions revealed any of it. “You never told me.”
But at least none of the things that course through his head seem to resemble negativity – the softness of his eyes spurs you on, so you tell him, “I didn’t need to. I knew you didn’t feel the same way.” You shrug your shoulders, pressing your lips into a line for a second. “And when we were old enough to confess, we went separate ways.”
Jungkook lifts a finger in defence, voicing a small uh-uh before he corrects, “We didn’t part right away. We met once after that, on my birthday. Went to watch a musical, do you remember?”
Ah. The famous night out. The one that confused your friends as much as his. You couldn’t blame them, though. Celebrating until three in the morning, with no one else around but you – watching a romantic musical? Sounds suspicious to an outsider for sure.
“Oh, I do,” you admit, “that night you told me you’d write your own theatrical piece one day. Did you ever?”
The fact that you still know tugs at his heartstrings – apparently, remembering isn’t always a bad thing.
“Not yet, no. Maybe someday,” Jungkook explains. “It’s still kinda a dream of mine. And…” He points at you with a flat hand, raised to the ceiling and nods slightly. “I have to thank you for that. It was an amazing night.”
He waits ten seconds. His voice is quieter now, dripping in fatigue. The silence brings back the exhaustion to you, too; the dozen