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tonycries · 5 days

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Welcome To The Itadori's! - C.K.

Synopsis. Three times Choso really, really wanted to hold you without his family barging in, and the one time he actually does.

Pairing. Best friend! Choso Kamo x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, childhood best friends to lovers, slowburn, cameos from the Itadori’s (Yuji, Jin, grandpa, SUKUNA), smút only when they’re adults, first times, oral (female receiving), cúnnilingus, marking, rough, Choso’s a bit mean in bed, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 5.0k

A/N. The unc-kuna brainrot got me here, Yuji’s family tree is HILARIOUS.

“You’ve never what?”

“I mean, yeah? So what if I’ve never…uh-” eyes darting to the erotic scene on-screen. “M’surely not missing out on that much.”

Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t. Whatever the answer was, Choso could only pray that no one walked into your apartment right now.

---

Choso swears his family is well and fully intent on ruining every waking moment with you.

He’s convinced even, at this point. Because in the 13 long years of being inseparable from you - ever since you were both whiney, snot-faced brats - Choso’s racked up more interruptions than he’s seen on those k-dramas that his grandfather swears he doesn’t watch.

It was like some cosmic joke, really. All he wanted was a moment with just the two of you…and maybe a second or two to confess his undying love. But that didn’t seem too realistic when the Itadori’s were a bit of a packaged deal, unfortunately.

Alas, Choso’s resigned himself to accept the fact that maybe - just maybe - this was the universe’s way of telling him that his pretty best friend was indeed too good for him. Something he’s suspected ever since the both of you were eight.

The realization had hit him like a semi-truck back then - five of them, in fact. And a whole zoo of animals afterward.

Of course, it’s not like that was any secret. He always thought you were perfect from the second you’d moved in - that new family next door he’d been eagerly waiting ages to arrive. And Choso, being the dutiful oldest son, was the one to deliver welcome cookies to your doorstep. Stumbling, and carefully trying to reach for the doorbell without dropping any.

“Um, welcome to-”

“Your hair’s funny.”

Now, Choso’s never greeted neighbors before, but it surely wasn’t supposed to go like this. Why was he being insulted by some little girl - you were missing a few teeth, and his had just grown back in so obviously he was much older and wiser. All unapologetic smiles and twinkling eyes as you blink up curiously at his space buns. Pretty, even when you were tearing his heart out because hey, he thought this hairstyle was cool, okay?

Which is what had him huffing and puffing back home, running straight into the arms of his dad while he tried not to cry. That is, until you came knocking at his door with your parents. Very much bawling and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug with wet mumbles of “M’sorry, meant your hair’s very cool. Wanna match-”

And, if his cheeks burned just a bit, well, Choso blamed the tears.

After a disaster like that, of course you’d grow to be best friends within the day.

But what that didn’t explain was when - after hours of bickering over whether to play tag or house - you were all tuckered out and sat beside him in a corner of his room, too exhausted to talk his ear off. Head lolling once. Twice. Falling softly onto his shoulder.

Oh.

Now, Choso might just be having the first epiphany of his entire, grueling eight years in this world - that you were very, very pretty fast asleep with your head on his shoulder.

Why? Why were you here barging into his life and turning it upside down? Calling him your “new best friend” and dragging him along wherever you went. It made his poor head absolutely spin, not daring to move a muscle so that you didn’t wake up and see this tiny predicament.

He didn’t know why. But what he did know was that he found himself subconsciously reaching for your hand, a strange little part of himself wanting to see how much smaller they were than his. They looked so soft and warm and-

“I WANNA PLAY T- Oh.”

Oh indeed. He hastily lurches away from you like it burned, hands raised like he was caught red-handed. Feeling slightly sorry when he sees you blinking away the sleep to take in your surroundings, eyes bouncing off of a very excited Yuji and resting on the clock.

“Oh no. Mommy’s gonna be mad.” you gasp, hastily getting up. And he feels a weird pang as you quickly dust down your dress, running out the door with a laughed out, “Bye, Yuji! See ya later, Cho~!”

“Bye, crybaby.”

And then it’s quiet. Only Choso still staring after you, and Yuji staring at his older brother, somewhat awestruck and wondering only one thing-

“Big bro, why are you so red?”

Choso doesn’t think he’s gotten a moment alone with you since that first initial meeting.

Fourteen was definitely the worst, in his opinion.

“Hey, Cho, y’know the girl sitting next to me in math said she had her first kiss today.”

“Oh.” It’s all Choso can manage to get out, paying more attention than he should to the gravel beneath him as he tries not to trip over air beside you. Hot under his uniform collar at the sudden shift in conversation from the usual after-school banter.

Looping your arm with his, you heave out a playful sigh, “I wonder what that feels like. Have you ever thought about it?”

No, but Choso has never thought that he’d be here - face burning at your body pressed up against his. Just knowing that his ancestors above are laughing at what a loser he is, barely able to stammer out an answer to your question.

Okay, maybe he was being dramatic. Because it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about kissing before - it’s just that whenever it popped into his mind, you were usually accompanying him. Along with those strange thoughts of whether your lips are as soft as they looked? Or would your heartbeat be as fast as-

“Man, are you even listening?”

Shit.

Your hand waving in front of Choso’s face brings him back to reality. Blinking hastily, he tries to gather his thoughts, mumbling out a quick, “Uh, yeah, sorry. Just lost in thought.” averting his gaze as he feels the heat rise to his cheeks at your intense gaze.

Your smile only widens, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you nudge his side. “Thinking so hard about kissing, huh? Cho, you lecher!”

“Am not.”

“Am to.”

“Am not.”

“Am to.”

“Who were you imagining it with, huh? Gonna give ‘em a big smooch tomorrow?”

God, you were going to be the death of him. “N-no! I haven’t even- shut up, crybaby, it’s not like-” he sputters out useless protests over your laughter - his favorite song, even when you were teasing the hell out of him. But ah how you relish in his embarrassment, tittering out little giggles all the way until you’re steering him onto your lane.

Choso, on the other hand, keeps wishing the ground would swallow him up more and more with each step towards his porch. He’d have broken into a sprint right then if he hadn’t known you and the way you’d race him there instead.

“Alright.” you declare once you’re stood at his front door, jolting Choso out of his reverie. And he’s barely opening his mouth to register your words before you plowing on confidently. “We’ll just have to practice our first kisses with each other.”

Perfect. Great. Wonderful.

The final nail on his coffin. You might as well have planted a bombshell right in the middle of his already-chaotic world with the way he was reeling in- shock? Fear? Anticipation?

“Practice.” Choso whispers, more to himself than you. Yet you nod anyway, eyes locked with his like you were studying his reaction. “For…practice.”

Doubt starts to creep into your pretty features, “Well, we don’t have to if you do-”

“No no no no, I want- ahem.” he cringes at the pathetic desperation in his voice. Desperately trying to scramble back some semblance of sanity as he clears his throat, “I want to. Just-” Choso urgently looks around for- ah, there it is.

Dragging over the brick from the side of his porch because goddammit he might be 14 but he sure hadn’t hit that growth spurt yet. “Practice, right?”

You nod with a fiery determination that, later on, would make Choso chuckle with fondness. Muttering out a firm, “Practice.” Letting the boy in front of you nervously leans closer, breath fanning your face. And shit if you were nervous then you didn’t show it, but Choso felt like he was about to spontaneously combust.

Brows furrowing in concentration, eyes only squinting ever-so-slightly as he takes peaks at how pretty you looked. Close enough that he could count every lash as your pretty eyes closed shut, lips glistening with that strawberry chapstick you loved, puckering adorably. Only inching closer and-

Click!

“You two are so cute! But um- dear, how do you mute this thing?”

You spring apart so fast that Choso wouldn’t be surprised if you’d teleported. He doesn’t even know what’s happening before, from the safety of about three meters away from him, you’re muttering out an embarrassed little, “Hi there, Mr. Itadori. The gardenia are coming along nicely.”

His dad smiles like he hadn’t just starred in what was likely Choso’s villain origin story. Waving happily, “Aww, thank you, sweetheart. Now, why don’t you two go back to doing your lil’ thing and I can ah- practice my photography.”

“Dad, I’m running away.”

That practice kiss never happens. And, well, if there was a proudly framed photo down the hallway of the two of you - with Choso absolutely bright red and standing comically on a brick to meet your height, faces nervously scrunching towards each other - well, neither of you ever mention it. Jin Itadori does, though - every time you come over, in fact.

It’s only when you’re both eighteen, when Choso’s a lot deeper in his feelings - and only slightly less embarrassed about it - that he thinks that maybe not all family interruptions were that bad.

Graduation was…something. Not exactly something that he’s sure if he’ll ever want to relive with the sheer amount of awkward photos and tears that his dad lets out. God if he has to shuffle into another-

“You alright, Cho?”

Ah.

Traitorously, a smile makes its way onto his face, peering down at your beaming face. Both of you having made it way past the awkward early teens. Well, at least you certainly have - Choso still feels like the same awkward little boy with an even more awkward crush. “Hm? Yeah, m’great.”

“Are ya sure? Because you look like you’re about to have an aneurysm any second now.” you raise a brow teasingly. Ah, how gorgeous you were - even when you’re picking him apart.

“Yeah. Great. Only had this smile plastered on for the last five hours.”

“Aww, but you look so pretty smiling.” you shrug, with the audacity of someone that didn’t just have Choso’s knees dangerously weak. “Anyway- A bunch of us are gonna try to convince ol’ Yaga to let us take photos with his shades, you wanna come?”

“You think m’pretty?” he muses, embarrassingly late.

“Cho.”

“Yaga. Shades. Got it.” Choso mock salutes, drinking in the little laugh it startles out of you, eyes sparkling with mischief and looking right into his soul. Beautiful. You were always beautiful.

And Choso can’t just stand around and do nothing about it.

“Crybaby, look, I-” Fists clenching, he takes a steadying breath. The heat only rising to his cheeks at your awaiting gaze, “I…”

“HEY, GRANDPA HELPED STEAL YAGA’S SHADES LET’S TAKE A PIC-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP ITADORI. YOU’RE RUINING A MOMENT, LET THEM HAVE THEIR MOMENT.”

“I don’t know either of you two.”

It would be a miracle for a moment not to be ruined with two overly-energetic first-years (and a very reluctant Fushiguro) pushing their way into your little bubble. Choso bites back a groan as you’re immediately swarmed by a bickering Kugisaki and Yuji, one apologizing for “ruining your k-drama moment” and the other trying to get you to put on some sunglasses. Well, at least he could empathize with the black-haired boy, who gave him an apologetic nod.

He’s only halfway through waving off the interruption before a voice speaks up from his side. “Why didn’t you say it?”

Whirling around, Choso comes face-to-face with the disappointed look on his grandfather’s face. Already having some idea of what you mean, “Wha-”

“I may be old but m’not deaf, yet, boy. Why didn’t ya tell her?” he sighs, tilting his head to where you were wearing those shades and taking ridiculous pictures with two animated first-years.

“I don’t know what you-”

“M’not blind, either. Quite frankly I’m insulted.”

And, well, if there’s anyone that he can’t hide from - it would be his grandfather. So he heaves out a defeated sigh, touselling his hair while muttering out a pathetic little, “M’not- Ugh, she’s too fuckin’ perfect and I…I chickened out.”

Choso doesn’t know what he expected in response but it definitely wasn’t for his grandfather to laugh. Full, and raspy - loud enough that even you stop to stare. “Thought so, idiot boy.” he chuckles, drawing indignant protests. “Did she tell you?”

Raising a brow, “What?”

“Did she tell you that you weren’t good ‘nough for her?”

“No, but-” Whatever protest on the tip of Choso’s tongue is cut off by a rough hand smacking his back in what he thinks is reassurance, but felt more like a punishment for being such a pussy around you all these years.

“Then go. Ya might just be surprised. After all, you’re my grandson, and all the ladies at bingo love me.”

Shaking with both adrenaline and the effort to keep that image out of his mind, he makes his way towards you. Purposeful. Pointedly ignoring the matching smirks flashed his way.

“You really think they’ll finally get together today?” Fushiguro deadpans from where he’d snuck up beside the old man, in an attempt to escape the public nuisances he calls ‘friends’.

Choso’s grandfather hums thoughtfully, watching the scene play out before him - Choso flushed such a delicate shade of pink as you playfully put Yaga’s sunglasses on him. Settling on a gruff, “I’ll give it a few months more. He’s my grandson, after all.”

“That’s generous. I’d give it a couple years more.”

“Wanna bet, brat?”

“...”

Safe to say, his second button ended up safely in your hands that day. But Fushiguro would be the one to really win the bet.

Because it was only 2 years, 4 months and 3 weeks after this little incident that Choso finally had you exactly where he wanted - with no interruptions. All for him.

Freshly twenty one, splayed out on your apartment bedroom and having a conversation that he never in a million years would’ve even dared to imagine he’d have - with you of all people. All because of that stupid R-rated film you’d put on for movie night.

“You’ve never what?” you gape, turning down the volume to those painfully fake moans coming from the tv.

Oh, how gorgeous you looked - all shocked and batting your lashes up at him in surprise. Choso almost swoons inwardly (and outwardly) before he realizes that shit you were probably waiting for an answer.

“I mean, yeah?” he sputters out, cheeks heating up as you lean in closer to hear him. Close. “So what if I’ve never…uh-” eyes darting to the erotic scene on-screen. “M’surely not missing out on that much.”

Goddammit, some strange, carnal part of himself twinges dangerously at the little smirk that curls your lips. One that he quickly - and embarrassingly - realizes has the blood rushing straight to his cock. Humming a low, “Maybe. Maybe not.” The mattress dips slightly as you shift closer, lips ghosting his ear. “Want me to help you find out?”

Which is, well, how Choso found himself shoved against the armrest. Blanket thrown on the floor now, swollen cock leaking furiously through his pants as your pretty lil’ cunt hovers above his mouth. So wet that if he stuck his tongue out he could have you dripping all onto him.

“Y-you sure about this, sweetheart?” he hisses despite his hands looping around your thighs, bringing you closer to him.

You raise a brow, “Are you sure, Cho?”

He should say no. He should laugh this all off as a bad joke. He shouldn’t ruin this friendship - but oh how badly he wants just a taste of your dripping pussy - see if she’s as sweet as the rest of you is. So, throwing caution to the wind, Choso nods slowly. “Yes. Want it s’bad.”

Grinning wickedly, you whisper, “Thought so.” And then he’s pulling you onto his mouth, hot and urgent.

“Oh fuck-” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the first taste of your sweet sweet juices. “Shit shit shit.” So sloppily licking up your swollen folds - barely moving with any method or patience, just that he’s drunk on your pussy and wants more more more-

“Hngh- f-fuck. You sure this is your hah- first time, Cho?” you gasp breathlessly. And oh your best friend was so fucking beautiful. Dark hair untied and tousled, eyes half-hooded, your slick already smearing across the bottom half of his face and trickling down his jaw because shit he was so messy. So addicted to that desperate expression on your face that he just can’t help but tease you a little bit.

“Mhm?” he smirks, tongue swirling around your pulsing clit. Purposefully missing right where you wanted him the most because shit he loved those cute lil’ whines spilling out of you.

You let out a huff, hips trying pathetically to inch him closer - but Choso wasn’t budging. Holding you so firmly by the hips that you’re sure he leaves bruises, licking all over your cunt except for your clit. “Cho.” you warn. Brows furrowing in frustration at the way he bats his long lashes up at you so deceivingly innocently, “What?”

“You know…”

“I don’t.” he titters teasingly into your pussy.

“Choso.”

Now, Choso’s known and seen everything there is to do with you - but never like this. Spread open shamefully and pouting so adorably on top of him, so needy for him. It made his head spin to think of just how much the dynamics had shifted.

Shit, he really should’ve watched that godforsaken movie with you sooner. “Tell me what you want, crybaby.”

And oh how his cock twitches at the way you manage to get out an embarrassed little, “Wan’ you to ngh- tonguefuck me properly. Wanna cum on your pretty face, Cho.”

And that’s all that’s said before he’s surging forward, glossy lips wrapping around your pulsing clit to suck harshly. Rolling his soft tongue over and over-

“Wanted this for so long.” Choso mutters, muffled as he buries himself deeper into your pretty pussy. The vibrations sending white-hot pleasure running down your spine. “You have absolutely no idea, pretty.”

And you barely even have the time to register his little confession before Choso’s moving down to bully his tongue past your folds. Nose pressing against your throbbing clit as he dips into your sloppy hole.

“Oh shit. Jus’ like that.” For a beginner, your best friend really knew what he was doing. Eating you out like his favorite meal, tongue squeezing into your snug pussy to thrust in and out, swipe against your walls, stretching you out right to his will. Over and over-

“Use me.”

Your eyes snap down to meet the pure adoration in his eyes as he makes out filthily with your cunt. Choking out a little, “What?”

“Use me.”

There it was again - that strained little mantra. And as if to prove his point, Choso reaches out to deftly place your hands on his head, bucking into you touch.

And, well, how could you say no to that?

Because before you know it, you’re bunching Choso’s soft strands in your fists. Angling him just right to ride his pretty face. “C’mon, Cho. Ngh- H-harder, jus’ a bit- Oh!” he just devours the way your mouth drops into an adorable little oh! as his tongue curls deftly against that one spot. Again and again. Letting himself be so used, dragging your dripping cunt harder on his mouth.

And he likes it. Hell, he loves it even - because you’re so sweet n’ pretty on his mouth. Better than everything he’s ever been dreaming of for the past few years. And always in his dreams, you’d be clenching so deliciously around his tongue when you were close - just like right now.

So he speeds up his movements, breathing you in maddeningly. A hand snaking down from it’s favorite place on your hips to draw quick, frenzied little circles on your poor, ravaged clit. Jaw almost aching with how filthily he was dripping in and out of your entrance - be he did give a shit. Only wanting to have you breathless and creaming all over his face.

You jerk violently on top of him, “Hah! S’too much, Cho. M’so close- gonna cum- gonna-”

And then you’re cumming. Fast, and hard.

Plushy walls clamping down on Choso’s tongue, hips stuttering on his face as he laps up all your juices, an arm around your waist helping you ride his face through your high.

“S’sweet. Could get used to that.” he slurs into your cunt. Tipping his head back as far as it’d go to let the last of your juices slide down his throat. “Better than I imagined.”

The words ring in your ears as you blink back your vision. Deliriously whirling down to look down at Choso - still beneath you and looking more smug and content than you’d ever seen him. “Imagination? S’that why you’re so good.”

“No.”

You’re being flipped before you know it. Manhandled so easily by your best friend as he lays you on your back, sinking into the cushion while he looms above you. “S’jus’ that…” grunting as he flings his shirt off, “Been dreaming of your pretty cunt on m’tongue for years.”

Okay, now his confession hits - more than it did when he was tonguefucking you into insanity, anyway.

“Years, huh?” you breathe out, eyes roaming all over his sculpted torso. Taking in every dip and curve of Choso’s toned abs - all the way from his broad shoulders to the rock-hard cock straining against his pants. As if in a trance, your hand reaches out to cup his leaking erection, “S’that all you’ve been dreaming of?”

“You little minx.” he lets out a low hiss.

Before you can even react, Choso’s fumbling with that belt - cursing because shit, he’d have worn sweatpants instead if he knew they’d end up on your floor.

And you’re not any better, fingers popping open his buttons and tugging impatiently and oh- You always thought that your best friend would have a big dick - but this? He was so intimidatingly long - and thick enough that you wondered whether you’d hurt yourself. Fat tip flushed such a pretty shade of pink to match his cheeks, leaking down down down, all the way to his heavy balls.

You’re only jolted out of your little reverie by Choso spitting a steady stream of spit onto your quivering cunt, spreading it lazily across your pussy with his thumb. A ringed fist pumping his cock slowly, as he drags his tip across your folds, pooling your sweet juices. Muttering out a raspy, “I’ll be gentle.”

“You better not be, now jus’ fuck me-”

Well, you didn’t have to ask Choso twice. Because you’ve barely gotten the words out before he’s bullying massive cock into your tight cunt. Pressing in inch by fucking inch as you gasp and buck underneath him.

“Shhh, s’okay, crybaby. This is what you wanted, right?” he mumbles, with all the audacity of someone that wasn’t fucking into you in rapid, mindless little jabs to fit inside your snug lil’ pussy. Struggling to hold back at this point. “Wanted to be split apart on m’cock?”

You were so full of him. Even more so when he throws your legs over his shoulders, bending all the way down and folding you in half so easily beneath him.

He drinks in the barely-lucid squeal that leaves your swollen lips. Kissing your forehead gently, whispering against the skin, “Because I’ve wanted this for so fucking long.”

And then it was like something snapped - maybe his sanity, maybe the restraint that Choso’s been holding back for too long. Because immediately he’s plunging his throbbing cock into you - all the way till his balls, all angry and squeezing so painfully, smacks against your ass.

“Wanted this.” he rasps into your open mouth. His hips were out of control now, thrusting you in shallow, desperate rams. Pounding into you like a man possessed, and running his mouth just as much. He laces his fingers on top of your head, pushing you down even deeper into his relentless cock - as if the bastard wasn’t fucking you dumb already. “Fuckin’ needed this needed this. Shit- so bad.”

“Ch-Choso- fuck hah-” you plead as his mouth clashes with yours. All sloppy with teeth and spit and his profanities - and it felt so damn good.

“Yeah? Who’s fucking you silly, now?” he’s going harder now, tip hitting your poor cervix over and over. And you’d be sobbing at the burn and the stretch but all you can think of is shit this is Choso - the kid you used to play hide and seek with. And now he seems fully intent on breaking you. “Say m’name.”

A rough thumb starts toying with your clit, in time with the cute lil’ whines of his name that escape your mouth like a prayer. “Shit. Y’look so pretty like this.” he babbles. “Gonna cry, pretty girl?” smirking down at the way you were too cockdrunk to even snap back, only looking up at him with delirious, teary eyes. “Be a crybaby for my cock?”

You’re tugging on his hair, thighs shaky and bucking upwards. “Cho-”

“Mhm?”

“W-wanna cum. Need you to fill m’up till I can’t take it anymore.”

Oh if Choso was any lesser man he’d have cum right then and there. Instead settling for a guttural groan, drunk off the way you were milking his cock so hard as if to prove your point. It almost made him want to stay like this forever. But no - not right now.

“Oh yeah?” Hips becoming sloppy now, “Need it? Shit- m’so close.” Each word slurred, punctuated by a harsh thrust, strokes long and frenzied. Using your heavenly pussy like his personal fucktoy. So hard that he’s sure you’d have embarrassing matching bruises tomorrow - his balls on your ass, your nails raking down his shoulders.

“Me too- fuck fuck fuck-” you mewl into his neck, as Choso buried his face into yours.

“Cum f’me, my girl.”

My girl.

And then you are - and he is. And you don’t know who cums first, just that you’re seeing stars behind your eyes and Choso’s teeth digging into your neck as he thrusts once. Twice. Before cumming and cumming so hard he might as well have seen the pearly gates of heaven. And you were an angel.

Thick, hot ropes of cum that paint your walls white, so much that it gushes out of your poor overfilled pussy. Dripping down your legs and pooling into a sinful, creamy ring at his base.

“Mm- shit. Choso.” you moan, barely audible over the lewd squelches from below.

“M’here, my girl.” he grits out, voice shot. And it seems that that was his new favorite nickname, because Choso keeps murmuring it over and over as he keeps fucking his seed into you. Not even thinking about it at this point - just mindless, shallow grinds of his hips.

In the haze of your orgasm, you think you hear his quiet voice, strained with exhaustion and something that you weren’t in the right state of mind to decipher right now.

“Shhh, m’here. “Can’t believe I waited so fuckin’ long.” Whispering against your lips, “Love this. Love this pretty cunt.” Kissing softly, “Love the way y’take me. Fuckin’ made f’me.” And maybe even a soft little, “Love you.”

And maybe - just maybe, you whisper the same into his. Kissing him softly, exactly the way you’d wanted to all these years.

Neither of you speak after that. Not when Choso’s hips stall, body sticky and collapsing onto yours. Nor do you speak when he pulls away with a playful nip to your lower lip - a promise. Searching through your clothes for a washcloth he can wipe yourselves clean with.

It’s only when he settles back under the covers beside you, looking at you with such dark, hazy eyes - whirling with too many emotions to name - that the silence is broken.

“Crybaby.”

“Cho.”

“Corny.”

“You started it.”

Chuckling, Choso pulls your body close to his. Not even a hair’s breadth between you two because shit now that he’s got you, he doesn’t think he ever wants to let you go.

“Y’know…” he starts, “I think we should- I mean- if you want…” nervous now more than he was even after all that just transpired. Cheeks flaring as he meets your amused gaze, just daring him to go on - because you saw through him. You always did. “I lov-”

“Am I late for the mov- WHAT THE FUCK I ALWAYS KNEW BRATS WEREN’T JUST FRIENDS-”

---

Itadori Family Groupchat + Two More

Dad: Hey, all. I can’t seem to get a hold of Choso to confirm tomorrow’s dinner plans. Can anyone else let me know if he’s ok? XX

-Jin.

Yuji <3: He’s probs at rhat “best friend movie night” still

Dad: Hello, Yuji. What is a “probs”? XX

-Jin.

Kugisaki: He’s suspiciously quiet, though… Y’all think that “best friend movie night” is codeword for something else?

Yuji <3: Better not be cuz Sukuna stole my sparw key sayin something ab crashing it idk

Kugisaki: *spare

And you just LET him?

Yuji <3: HE THREATENED TO BURN MY MEGAN THEE STALLION POSTER

…

AND DID IT ANYWAY

Kugisaki: L

Fushiguro: L

Gramps: L

Sukuna (do not answer): DID Y’ALL KNOW THOSE TWO WERE FUCKIN????

*Fushiguro has left the chat*

Dad: :0

-Jin.

A/N. Spiritually, this is a crackfic idk.

#choso x reader #choso smut #choso x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo smut #choso kamo x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #choso #tonywrites #choso kamo

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timdrakescoffeecup · 3 months

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(Updated Sometimes) Tim Drake Fanfic Masterlist

cw's will not be included, so make sure to check the tags. also might include some jason fics too

Bang, bang by Ididloveyou_once

Tim asks Jason to teach him how to use a gun. (One shot, funny)

The Long Way Home by itsnatalie

Tim and Jason get trapped in a labyrinth that shows their worst nightmares. (Multi, angst, hurt/comfort)

like falling water by naheka

Dick crashes at Jason's place, hopped up on fear gas. (One shot, funny)

Bet on it by Lysical

Damian needs Jason's help to hide something from Bruce. (One shot, funny)

Deliver Yourself by forestgreen

Jason adopts his younger self. (Multi, angst)

Banshee In A Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee)

Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.

When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.

But most of all, Tim is alone. (Multi, angst)

Home by sElkieNight60

Tim forgets who he is. (Multi, angst)

Late Night Langoustining by whaleofatime

Jason adopts a lobster. (One shot, funny)

two against the world by carolinaa

While following Batman and Robin, Tim finds a puppy. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by Ultrageekatlarge

Tim blackmails Batman into helping him arrest his murderous uncle. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

See Life As a Worthy Opponent by TriviasGhost

Tim goes to a universe where he never existed. (Multi, incomplete)

The Return by lurkinglurkerwholurks

What the comics neglected to cover after Bruce returns from being lost in time. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Obedience by Sohotthateveryonedied

Something is seriously wrong with Tim—Jason just knows it. Ever since the Mad Hatter incident, Tim has been acting completely different, and the worst part is that no one believes Jason when he tells them so.

But when the truth is eventually revealed, the whole family comes to realize that the situation is far worse than anyone could have ever predicted. (One shot, angst)

To an Athlete Dying Young by SonoSvegliato

A series detailing Tim’s ascension to Robinhood, with angsty Red Hood vigilantes in the background. (Multi, angst)

Matters of the Heart by DM (Nyerus), Nyerus

Kon need's Tim's help with an investigation in Metropolis. Feelings ensue. (Multi, Timkon)

It Wasn't Real (But We Were Happy) by lurkinglurkerwholurks

“Everyone’s fine. You don’t need me anymore. I told you, Bruce. I told you I’d stay until you didn’t need me anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I stayed too long. I should have... I shouldn’t have waited so long." (Multi, angst)

occam's razor by Beatrice eagle

An in-universe reddit thread about Jason's death. (One shot, funny)

To Try, To Err, To Try Again by theLiterator

Tim knits Damian a present. (One shot, wholesome?)

let's get mischievous by CreamofTomatoSoup

Tim's friend gets possessed by Dionysius. (One shot, angst)

Whoopsie by MichaBerry

Tim forgets to tell that he lost his spleen. Oops. (One shot, angst?)

Latchkey by goldkirk

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you.

Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there. (Multi, hurt/comfort, this is a MUST READ for timfics)

Trouble Magnet by strikeyoucolors

"It's like you've been synchronized into passively hostile acts against Tim. Did he do something? Were you brainwashed? Because I now have a son who has been crushed, had his face broken, and been shot. All incidences of friendly fire. " (One shot, funny)

Echoes of You by SilverSkiesAtMidnight

Milk white skin beneath the mud, black hair hanging in muddy clumps around his ears. Blue eyes staring back at him, animal-bright and dilated in the brief moment before he flinches back from the light with a cry of pain that stabs through Jason to the soul. (One shot, angst)

A Simple Life by RenaRoo

Tim Drake is living a simple life in one of the worst parts of Gotham. He makes the best of it, though. He makes for himself the only life he's ever known...

He thinks. (One shot, angst)

The Wound Begins to Bleed by audreycritter

Now that Tim’s moved back to the manor, he just wants a few afternoons a week without Damian around.

Funny how getting that was the catalyst for him becoming a better big brother. (One shot, brotherly bonding)

Hey, Lawman! by dinolaur

Tim goes MIA during lunch. (One shot, funny)

Gotham Banksy by LananiA3O

After finding out that he remains unavenged, Jason returns to Gotham, but instead of deciding to kill Bruce, he decides to channel his rage into a more creative endeavor: spray-painting Gotham until the message is loud and clear to everyone: fuck Batman. (Multi, angst)

Breaking News: Local Teen Given Intervention For Normal Behaviour by yellowrooster

Tim ends up in an alternate dimension where he's considered a drug addict. (One shot, funny)

Bay Through Hell by GordandV

Tim is mermaid. (Multi, AU)

Hot Dog, French Fries by eggmacguffin

Damian tries to hide that he's been hit with a truth serum. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

What happens in Vegas by Ididloveyou_once

Tim and Kon get married in Vegas, while drunk. (Multi, timkon)

Quarter past midnight by Aaren

Instead of being found by Talia after crawling out of his grave, Jason becomes a nurse. (Multi, canon divergence)

(Un)Wanted by Mika-chan (mikarin)

Tim gets kidnapped. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

A Midafternoon Beetdown by whaleofatime

Jason cosplays as a organic farmer. (One shot, funny)

Liminal Space by Calamityjim

Bruce's habit of collecting strays isn't limited by dimension. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Can't Stay Down (a Documentary) by SonoSvegliato

Tim gets his tonsils removed. (Multi, funny)

Surveillance by smilebackwards

Tim is a civilian who contributes to crime fighting by taking surveillance photos and leaving them on the desktop of the Batcomputer. (Multi, found family)

Chemistry of a Car Crash by anthologia

Tim gets into a car crash. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

Bet It all On Red by centreoftheselights

Instead of becoming enemies, Robin and Red Hood form an alliance. (One shot series, canon divergence)

False Dichotomy by heartslogos

Red Hood calls Red Robin's bandoliers "super convenient idiot handles". (One shot)

don't take you guns to town by kreestar

batman comes home from a night patrolling to find a 10 year old jason todd waiting for him in his kitchen. across gotham, at the same time, red hood is stopped by a 25 year old bruce wayne. (One shot, angst)

Stubborn by audreycritter

When your butler mom calls and says, "Go check on your brother," you don't argue. You just do it. (Multi, sickfic)

I'm Just Fine by girlgeekjf

After rescuing a group of kidnapped children, Tim reflects on what he could’ve done better. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

A Christmas Miracle by Mithen

Damian and Dick go undercover to bust a child-kidnapping ring whose members dress up as Santa Claus. (One shot, funny)

Confidence Lost by C_R_Scott

Everything about Neal Caffrey’s past prior to his 18th birthday is a mystery, even to him. However, when someone unexpectedly recognizes him by a name that he has never used as an alias before, he learns that the biggest con of his life is literally his life. (or, tim is neal caffrey from white collar) (multi, crossover)

Exit Wounds by incogneat_oh

Did you hear this one? A vigilante walks into a warehouse and kills the joker. (One shot, angst)

If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You) by lurkinglurkerwholurks

Five times Jason saved his siblings, and one time they saved him. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Normally People Pass Out After by WriterfromGotham

Tim donates blood. (One shot, angst and fluff)

In Living Memory by DangerBeckett

Jason remembers why he stays out of other people's business. (One shot, angst)

Set My Mind To Wandering by Tabithian

Tim goes on a vacation. (One shot series, angst)

A Little Bit of Sunshine, A Little Bit of Rain by ohwhatevrewhatevr

For once, Tim is happy with his life. (One shot, fluff?)

American Ninja Worrier by DangerBeckett

Tim hires a ninja intern. Jason becomes concerned. (One shot, funny)

The Wrong Boy is Breathing by heartslogos

Tim visits Jason's grave all the time. (One shot, angst)

Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw by GoAwayOlivia

Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also he might just make friends with the people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

The Art of Conversation by glassgoblin

Robin needs to talk to a friend, but everyone is a little busy. (One shot, angst)

Road Rage Robin by heartslogos

"I’d be doing humanity a favor.” Tim grinds out, “And I would get away with it. I could totally get away with it. I’ve done worse.“ (One shot, funny)

How to be a male Batgirl by Blackjay27

There are many ways to help Batman and Robin, but no matter which universe he's in, Tim's method will always end with him in a costume on Gotham's rooftops. (Multi, canon divergence)

I Saw Grayson Kissing Santa Claus by pupeez4eva

It’s Christmas time, and Damian is on a mission - to stop this ‘Santa Claus’ fellow from molesting his older brother. (Multi, funny) (this fic is so funny it made me cackle out loud)

Favourite Strangers by SpiritsFlame

It's been six months since Bruce's actions led to the death of Superman. (One shot, crossover with the movies?)

show me yesterday, for i can't find today by indent

Then: The year is 2013. Jason Todd is alive, fourteen years old, and about to follow Sheila Haywood, his birth mother, into the hands of the Joker. All he wants is to save her life.

Now: The year is 2018. Jason Todd was dead. But now he's a nineteen year old vigilante about to take down the latest C-Lister rogue. Unfortunately for him, its a rogue that specialises in time-travel technology. And what starts as an easy takedown...ends as a time travelling phenomenon.

The two Jasons swap places. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Retrograde Motion by Lysical

All Jason wanted was a case that was simple, clean, and far away from the latest mess in Gotham. Magic wasn't the Outlaws' area of expertise, but they soon found themselves investigating a dark wizard with a penchant for organ harvesting.

When an accident on the case leaves Jason as a clueless seven year old with a memory that's spotty at best, what else can his team do but go to his family for help? (Multi, hurt/comfort?)

anglerfish by envysparkler

Robin was having a horrible night even before the Red Hood showed up. (One shot, angst)

Tso'ape Mumbichi by keeptogethernow

Tim is Talon. (Multi, AU)

Kodokuno Shoujo (A Lonely Girl) by C_R_Scott

A tale of two Robins wrapped up in an Asian-style horror story. Tim Drake goes to Japan for business, both for Wayne Enterprises and Batman Incorporated. However, when he returns to Gotham City, it's Damian Wayne who discovers he brought along more from his trip overseas than just his luggage and mission report. (Multi, horror)

at me, too, someone is looking by bacondoughnut

Dick Grayson knows he's got problems when the Red Hood's busted leg somehow becomes his concern. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Help by Loxare

Jason never went to Gotham after he emerged from the Lazarus Pit. Instead, he went to Bludhaven to begin his reign of terror. (Or Jason adopts all the children of Bludhaven.) (Multi, fluff)

Lean on me by Musingsofthesky

Tim just wants to hang out with Bruce. Too bad his cold has other plans. (One shot, sickfic)

The Ol' Switcheroo by AutumnHobbit

Damian takes a bullet for Tim. (One shot, angst)

Meant to be by protagonistically

Tim takes a bullet for Bruce. (One shot, angst)

Juneberries by MichaBerry

When Tim is taken, Damian has to come to terms with his own insecurities, and how he really feels towards his older 'brother'. When he does, it might be too late. (Multi, angst)

though the sun continues to stand by metropolisjournal (TKodami)

Tim in the movie universe. (Multi, angst)

The Time We've Got by DawnsEternalLight

While on an emergency Redbull run, Tim tries to talk to his adopted father. (One shot, fluff)

119 notes · View notes

lestappenforever · 8 months

Note

Hi. I feel like you are the only person I can send Lestappen asks so here goes another one.

First of all have you seen that video of Max playing footsie with Checo? I hope you have because it’s so funny to me how he realized he had accident tapped his teammate’s foot but Checo didn’t react so he did it intentionally to make sure he laughed.

Now what got me is the fact that not long ago he [Max] was playing footsie with Charles albeit unknowingly but when he realized he got all awkward about it. It’s so glaring that I started realizing other little things like the way Max will talk to Lando or Carlos or Daniel, heck everyone else on the grid about something is all so different from how he is with Charles. There’s always some sort of shyness, awkwardness, too much staring and thoughtfulness put into everything involving Charles. And yeah it may sound like I’m biased but I didn’t ship them like that for the longest time but the footsie thing made me think about all the little moments they share and how they are different from how they are with everyone else. The same can be said for Charles and how he is with Max via-à-vis other people.

Could you do a comparison, pleeease? 😘

I feel so honored, seriously.

I have seen the video with Checo, but not the one with Charles? So please send me the link because I need to see it immediately or else I will spontaneously combust.

"Could you do a comparison, pleeease?😘" <<< Oh, babe. Honey. My darling anon. You will regret this, and I am so sorry.

(Putting this under a 'Read More' for everyone's sake.)

Now, before I get further into this I just need to make a few things very clear: 1. I am a monogamous shipper, meaning that once I ship someone, I am incapable of shipping those people with someone else. I am actually kind of jealous of people who are capable of shipping the same person with multiple people because the amount of content you get, my God. Now, this does not mean that I don't get other ships or that I have any sort of issue with other ships because I definitely don't. It simply means that in my head, once two people are paired together in a ship, that's it. They're it for each other as far as my brain is concerned. 2. This post does not mean that I genuinely believe Max and Charles are in a secret relationship, nor does it mean that I genuinely believe they ever will be. The point of shipping, as far as I'm concerned, is that it's fun and lighthearted. It's something that brings a lot of joy to a lot of people, and it's something that is very easy to enjoy.

Now, prepare for a rant.

I believe you are right on the money, anon, and this is exactly why I ship Lestappen. They have the sort of vibe and chemistry between them that I just don't see them having with anyone else.

Let's start with Daniel, who is the obvious first choice: There is no denying how close he is with Max, but the feeling I get with those two is that they are two dude bros who are just so comfortable with each other and such good friends that nothing feels weird. They can joke about literally anything, no matter how inappropriate, no matter how sexual, and it's just funny. They have exactly the kind of familiarity you would see between two best friends, and they have no aversion to getting up close and personal with each other. There's no awkwardness between them whatsoever, and for that reason they just give me those frat boy vibes that I absolutely adore in a friendship. Watching them interact is hilarious at any given time.

As for Lando and Carlos, Max displays the same sort of ease that he has whenever he's interacting with Daniel, although obviously not at the same level, and more so with Lando than Carlos. Max has said it himself: Lando is literally his best friend on the grid, and they also don't seem to have any sort of aversion to physical touch: slapping each other's asses, being in each other's space, and generally displaying an easy sort of comfort you'd expect to see between really close friends. It's never awkward or weird, it's simply funny and comfortable, and it's so blatantly obvious how much they enjoy each other's company, both on and off the grid.

With Carlos, Max obviously shares the history of them being teammates at Toro Rosso, and although they weren't exactly best friends at the time (now if that isn't an understatement right there), they were both young and — like most young boys, let's be honest — stupid. Hot-headed, stubborn and arrogant, which typically doesn't lead to the best relationship in a sport that is as competitive as F1, especially not when you're in your teens. However, both Max and Carlos have grown up a lot since then, and now they seem to have developed a genuine friendship based on mutual respect and a history long since passed, and they seem comfortable around each other. Like with Daniel and Lando, there doesn't seem to be any awkwardness or underlying current of something tied to their interactions.

Now, with Charles, it's just different. And not just for Max, because Charles seems to have a very specific way of behaving around Max that I just haven't seen when he's around Lando, Carlos, Pierre, or anyone else on the grid. There are so many interactions in which both Charles and Max just seem giddy whenever they're around each other — you know, the kind of giddy you get when you're talking to somebody you have a crush on and you're not quite sure how to deal with it? Take this moment here in Bahrain 2022, for example. The quick looks, the smiles. If that isn't how you look at your fucking crush, then I don't know what is. Or this moment, with Charles rubbing at the back of his neck and looking all bashful after interacting with Max. Like, sir, what the fuck?

Whenever they interact, they don't display that same kind of comfort that they do with others, especially the other drivers already mentioned, but does this stop them from interacting? No. Does it deter them from seeking each other out practically every chance they get? Absolutely not. In fact, they seem to gravitate towards each other most of the time just like their hands always seem to gravitate towards each other's waists as soon as they're within touching distance for photos, and how other people briefly cease to exist once the two of them are engaged in conversation. Hell, I refer to Checo as Du-du-du-du-du-du-du Steve (Checo) and Third wheel Checo in my tags for a reason. (The things poor Checo has been forced to put up with when it comes to these two, including this cooldown room earlier this year.)

Oh, and did I mention Max literally interrupting Charles mid-interview in Bahrain at the beginning of the 2022 season, and Charles seemingly completely forgetting that he was being interviewed and keeping the conversation going, despite the fact that it's rude as fuck? Christ, how anyone puts up with them at this point is actually incredible.

There are also the numerous moments of intense eye contact while they're mid-conversation, the way Charles will remember the tiniest mention of Max from his engineer during a race and then bring it up, and Max fucking lighting up like a Christmas tree when he gets the chance to talk to Charles about it, and the way Charles is licking his lips before he realizes he's being recorded by Max. And anon, don't even get me started on their obsession with holding each other's waists as if that is a totally normal thing to be obsessed about with your emotional support rival. (Don't mind us, just gonna stand here and hold each other's waist while waiting for the others.)

Look, I am the absolute worst at keeping track of gifs and videos, which is probably for the best because if I was better at it, this would turn into a goddamned thesis, but there are just an endless supply of moments between Max and Charles where the vibe is just so far from being like the vibe either of them seem to have with any other driver on the grid. There is an underlying weirdness/awkwardness/shyness between the two of them that just screams "teenagers with a crush" for me, and that's why it's so easy for me to ship them. (And why it's impossible for me to ship either of them with someone else.)

#Asks #Anon #Anon asks #Lestappen

137 notes · View notes

butwhyduh · 2 years

Note

Hello! I absolutely adore your stories! ❤️💖 I was hoping you could write a funny batsis (who is the biological daughter of Batman and is between Dick and Jason in age) story about her getting caught in one morning (or whenever) doing some "bedsheet sparring" with like Conner Kent or someone with powers that shouldn't be in gotham without Batman's permission (lol) and her entire family are who catch her because it's her birthday or something and they came in to surprise her with breakfast! I think it would be hilarious!

Warning cuz it has smut lol

Batsis x Kon kent

Conner pulled you on his lap, setting the pace faster than your hips wanted to go, pulling a moan from your lips. He quickly swallowed it in a rough kiss. He could feel the way you were clenching tight around him, 4th time that night (technically morning) to be exact, that you were going cum soon.

“Oh Kon!” You whimpered while throwing your head back and clenching him tightly. Conner groaned and thrust up to find his own high. You rocked together in pleasure. He could hear your heart pounding in your chest and feel the sheen on sweat on your body that this was the last round. You were only human after all.

A loud rapping at the front door made you jump. You looked at Conner confused. Who was at your door at 6 in the morning? You grabbed your robe as you climbed off Conner.

Conner used his x Ray vision to look thru the door, “babe, that’s your-“

“My baby sister’s birthday!” Called Dick thru the door. “Open up!”

You froze and looked at Conner who was clearly debouched and oozing sex from every pore and you knew you didn’t look much better. You tried to smooth your hair down and you grabbed a wet paper towel to wipe at the streaked makeup from the night before that you’d been too busy to remove. You hadn’t gone to bed yet.

You and Conner had gone partying and hadn’t gotten home until past 2 am and you both had gone to bed but certainly not to sleep.

“Answer the door! I know you hear me!” Dick called.

“Maybe she doesn’t want her brothers to bother her,” Jason replied. Fuck, both of them??

“Maybe she was actually out partying all night and is dead asleep right now,” Tim added. That was when you knew that Conner was going to die that day. Your birthday. The windows on the small apartment were all on one side that were visible from the front door so no flying away.

He was hastily throwing on his pants and shirt before moving to your bedroom closet. You pulled it close while calling to your brothers, “just a minute!”

A final look in the mirror caused you to blanch at the sight of a fresh hickey on your collarbone that you hurried to cover with your robe. There was no way that wasn’t going to be visible today. Your heart pounded like you were tracking killer Croc when you opened the door.

Dick, Jason, and Tim were standing there with balloons, a box from a bakery, and a present bag.

“Hi,” you said. You suddenly realized how much water you needed. You were just lucky to not pull something with everything Conner had done to you.

“Woah sleep head,” Jason teased while handing you the cupcake box as he walked in. Dick and Tim followed.

“Well it is a little early,” you admitted. “Wha-what brings you here? Now?”

“We wanted to tell you happy birthday first,” Dick said and you huffed out a laugh with a nod.

“Right,” you said. “And you figured the crack of dawn was a good idea because…”

“Tim couldn’t sleep and you didn’t reply to his meme so we came down,” Jason finally answered.

“Seriously? You do know I’m a big girl that can take care of myself, right?” You replied with a huff. You sat on the arm of the couch as exhaustion finally hit. It made sense. You’d been up 27 hours straight, danced at clubs for hours, and then bed acrobats for half the night with your literal superhuman boyfriend. And when was the last time you had anything to drink.

“We know but it’s nice to see you without the whole family,” Dick added.

“Without Damian, bruce, and Alfred you mean?” You said.

“Maybe,” Tim shrugged. “Are you hungry? We can go get food? A waffle house?” He suggested. It did sound good but so did spooning with your boyfriend until midday.

“I don’t know. I’m a little tired,” you said and that was a hell of an understatement.

“We’re all tired. Get dressed. Get waffles. And then take a nap before Bruce’s party,” Jason said, tossing you your bag. You caught it but your robe dipped down your shoulder.

“What the hell?” Dick said. They all stared at the mark clearly visible before you yanked it up your shoulder.

“Who did that? Is that why you’re tired? Did we interrupt a booty call?” Jason asked.

“Ew, booty call?” Tim said to Jason who pointed at you and shrugged.

“No! No one did anything. It’s none of your business,” you stammered.

“Is he or she going to the party tonight?” Dick asked. “Are they in here?”

Your eyes widened involuntarily. “That’s none of your-“

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” Jason called as he and Tim started looking over the apartment.

“Stop them,” you begged Dick.

“They’re really here now? This whole time?” Dick asked.

“Jason, don’t!” You called as he went in your bedroom. Tim followed him and you ran after them. “Don’t!” You gasped just as he opened the closet door to show Conner Kent standing beside your shirts. His shirt was on backwards and he definitely looked like he recently had sex.

“You?” Jason said roughly with clear shock. Dick blinked and froze.

“Wow,” Tim added. “You’re gonna die today.”

“Stop it,” you said pushing Jason from the closet. He moved with your shove but he wasn’t the one you should have watched. Dick shoved Conner in the closet and punched him in his face before you could act.

“Dick!” You gasped in shock. Dick groaned and shook his hand but to his credit, Conner rubbed his lip where he was hit too.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Dick replied angrily to you. He stormed out of the room.

“Hey!” You called after him. You turned to Tim and Jason. “I don’t even know why he’s mad. I’m an adult.”

“That’s just being a big brother,” Jason said patting you on the shoulder. “Come on Tim. We’ll see her tonight. Happy birthday.”

“Jason!”

“Bye,” Tim said with a little wave before both left.

“Kon,” you said, looking up at him feeling lost. He simply pulled you into a hug.

“Let’s take a nap and we’ll fix it when they aren’t as mad,” he suggested. You let him pull you to bed where you hugged him tight. He ran his hands along your back before you finally fell asleep.

You woke a few hours later with a strong arm wrapped around you and you could feel your body hot and sweaty. Your robe was still on. The events of the night flooded back in your memory. You groaned and leaned into Conner who hugged you and kissed your temple, half asleep.

“Morning,” he said in a sexy husky morning voice.

“Morning. I can’t go to this thing today. I’ll cancel dinner and say I’m sick,” you said. Conner sighed.

“And hurt Bruce’s feelings that his little girl doesn’t want him around on her birthday?”

“Crap. What do I do?”

“If I could suggest,” he said, sitting up on his elbows as you still laid on his chest. “Bring me as your date. You didn’t introduce me because of your brothers, right? Now that isn’t a problem anymore.”

“That’s…. A good idea, actually,” you said after a second.

“That would sound insulting if I didn’t know you,” he muttered as you hurried out of bed.

“Bring you as my date and then Dick can’t get mad because you’re my boyfriend, not some random guy. We won’t have to sneak around anymore; even though that’s fun. Dad never needs to know any details because the boys telling him would just be weird. Conner,” you said, cupping his face. “You’re a genius!” You kissed him with a grin.

“And yet, I feel like a pawn,” he muttered as you tossed him a dress shirt.

“We need a shower,” you said, ignoring his commentary.

“Together? I’m interested in that,” he replied causing you to roll your eyes.

“We were ‘together’ all night. As long as the shower doesn’t lead to anything else then fine,” you replied.

“I mean, I also just enjoy seeing you naked so there’s that,” he said with a shrug.

———————————

The dinner was far from small. Your birthday party was a great event to invite Wayne Enterprise investors and frequent private donors to your favorite charities. Bruce had decorated the ballroom in your favorite color and theme. It was beautiful and full of people in fancy dress.

Conner adjusted his tie. “Shouldn’t have worn this stupid tie. That guy isn’t wearing one,” he motioned towards a man in the crowd. Jason had already flipped Conner off from across the crowd and Dick ‘accidentally’ knocked his drink from his hand with his own bandaged hand.

“He’s publicity. Not a guest,” you said quietly with an eye roll while straightening the tie. “And you want to make a good impression to my father.”

“I’m already preparing to get my ass beat by Batman,” Conner muttered under his breath.

“No. It’ll be Bruce Wayne and if you don’t take the hit and break his hand, then Batman will beat your ass later,” you replied. “But none of that will happen if you act like a polite journalist from Kansas.”

“I have many reason to hate that cover but it’s fine for now. Oh god, here he comes,” Conner said, standing straight as Bruce walked thru the crowd.

“Sweetheart,” Bruce said warmly, giving you a hug. “Kent,” he added, looking at Conner suspiciously over your shoulder.

“Hi Mr Wayne,” Conner replied. Bruce glared at him.

“Why is he here?”

“Dad,” you chided. “Conner is here as my.. date,” you said with a nervous smile. You watched Bruce Wayne go thru every emotion a man could have in 30 seconds.

“I see,” Bruce replied coldly. Your heart froze.

Conner looked between you both.

“Kent. You better treat her well or I’ll put a boot so far up your ass, you’ll taste kryptonite,” Bruce said calmly before walking away to talk to another guest.

“I’m gonna die,” Conner whimpered. “I had to date Batman’s daughter and now I’m gonna die.”

#friday night smut #conner kent x reader #Superboy x reader #superboy smut #Conner kent smut #dc smut #batboy brothers

673 notes · View notes

ichimatsu-gal · 3 months

Text

I watched the the last two episodes of Hazbin Hotel

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OMFG I JUST WANTED TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS ON IT AND RAMBLE SO HERE

!!!HAZBIN HOTEL SPOILERS!!!

!!!VERY DETAILED SPOILERS!!!

Episode 7:

almost immediately I was happy to see Charlie get angry and frustrated even if it was just for that little rant about everything that’s happened so far and then choosing to make a deal with Alastor was insane I’m already theorizing all the ways he could ask for a favor that would still be pretty bad even if it doesn’t involve hurting anyone.

when we get to meet Rosie for the first time I kinda expected her to me more malicious and kinda blood thirsty but she ended up actually being a very sweet person who was very genuine and I loved that about her, she gave Charlie some very good advice about Vaggie that I really appreciate bc I though the same thing, also wasn’t expecting her to have the voice she did but I loved it anyway. (FUCKING SUSAN) the way both Alastor and Rosie just behaved like besties in this was way too funny Alastor cursing was way funnier tho and the fact that all it took was just to say hey there’s gonna be free food and it’s angels flesh was so stupidly simple.

I loved that they gave Carmilla another song she was absolutely beautiful and badass like bro HER HAIR DOWN GOT ME BARKING NOT GONNA LIE, she’s a very strong woman who is smart, resilient, and loves her daughters, also I’m biased bc she’s Latina and I’m latina so obviously she’s the best. The fact that Vaggie being an Angel was so obvious is hilarious to me I always thought the X on her eye was some type of aesthetic eyepatch not like an actual thing angels get when they lose and eye??? Still not sure about that but whatever, I loved the realization that yeah Vaggie fights with no real concern about her own life because she’s never had to fear for her own safety before, she wasn’t even aware she could die so the fact that Carmilla is like girl you fight like you aren’t scared of getting hurt which is stupid on your part is both funny and like wow yeah she’s so right that is a dumb way to go about it. Since usually demons can’t cause any type of real harm angels have never had to worry about death so they go about killing every extermination day completely recklessly so it keeps them open to weak points, they didn’t even think about their own weapons they left behind being used against them so yeah, the song was an absolute bop (like girl find the motivation to fight in the fact that you have someone to lose).

I love that the others stayed obviously they would but it’s nice to see everyone trying to help in any way they can despite the circumstances, they all enjoy each other’s company and it was so nice to see how far everyone has come.

Episode 8:

I’m kinda confused as into how Vox managed to get cameras? technology?? Into the hotel but whatever his reactions are funny. Almost immediately I was trying to figure out who was gonna die this final episode and when I saw dear ol Pentious in his little uniform I kinda knew and I was pre sobbing getting ready for the emotional damage I was gonna get (which side note I absolutely love his hair?? When it’s down I mean I’m a sucker for long black hair??? So yeah) anyway the whole thing with him and Cherri is so cute he’s such a dork. I like the scene with nifty and Alastor cause honestly I fully believe he doesn’t own her soul she’s just so outta pocket that he finds her amusing and her presence entertaining and he genuinely enjoys it so she gets to stick around, DID YALL SEE THE FUCK ME EYES HUSK GAVE ANGEL AT THE BAR DONT TELL ME YOU DIDNT AND THE WAY ANGEL LOOKED AT HIM WHEN HE WAKLED OFF YOOOOOOOO I CANTTTTT, and then Pentious being so awkward with Cherri is so cute my man was STRUGGLING tryna confess his love for her, he did say some really sweet things tho that she was kinda getting into it before he ran off plus Angel being like hey he got two dicks and she’s like huh 🤔 (like GIRL GET SOME OF THAT OR ELSE I WILL ).

They really did us dirty with having Charlie so obviously in front of angels door crying and shit before the episodes came out that shit had me sweating. So Adam, I’m not gonna like he kinda….👀 but only because he’s voiced by THE Alex Brightman like c’mon be so serious he did that character so good I can’t even, also I was kinda wondering why all the exorcists are all women like is that just because Adam prefers it or what? But anyway the fact that Vox got the other two V’s together so they can all watch this shit go down is so funny bc they couldn’t care less. It was so fun seeing what Alastor had in store bc I find him so fascinating as a character he has all these interesting powers that he doesn’t really get to use too often since he never has a reason to kinda go all out and have fun killing people so it was fun seeing that. Bro when Adam punched the dome that was wild I was like wow that was kinda cool I’m not gonna lie and the fight with Alastor was insane the animation was amazing it was so fun seeing Al just dodging his attacks with such grace like go off king tell him he’s a bitch 😌💅, when his microphone got sliced in half his reaction was absolutely priceless holy shit I rewatched that shit like 5 times bc I couldn’t get over him cursing like it was so quick but it did the job so well, hearing his actual voice outside of his normal Radio-ish way of sounding was really something it made it feel more alive I guess. Vox’s reactions was so funny he really is a bitter ex that just wants the worst for him I love it (NO! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUU, PUSSY!!) I love him.

When Vaggie said something had to be done about Adam and Pentious was watching I just knew, AND MY MAN JUST REALLY RIZZED CHERRI LIKE THAT BROO HE DIPPED HER AND EVERYTHING OMGGGGGG like I agree with her that WAS hot. I WAS SO PISSED THAT HE DIED FOR NOTHING LIKE BRO I KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE A JOKE DEATH I JUST KNEW IT, they couldn’t even give bro the honor of dying in a way that would make us cry cause when he went out like that I just knew he was gonna probably end up in heaven to make up for how lame that was. Having Charlie call Adam a pig was so fun like yeas girl tell him, I kinda didn’t agree with Vaggie deciding to allow Lute to live cause girl that’s a loose end I would not wanna deal with later bc she has no mercy (she literally ripped off her own arm to chase after her bro) she would not hesitate to kill, like yeah I get the whole I’m better than you so yeah live with the fact the only reason you breathe is because I let you but girl be so for real she is a nuisance that will come back to bite you in the ass later I know it.

The fact that I didn’t even think about the fact that Adam was wearing a mask this whole time is so stupid of me but when I did see that I was thinking of all the ways he could’ve looked like and to say I was disappointed is an understatement, my disappointment got worse when I saw his pathetic little goatee 😑I’ve seen way better fanart, Lucifer coming in with the save 😮‍💨 not him saying he was gonna fuck Adam the silence was so loud (the only time the other two V’s found it interesting too)😂😂. lucifer is such an airhead twink I love him; Not only is he effortlessly flying circles around Adam and having fun while doing it he’s insulting him too, THE EVE COMMENT WAS SO OUTTA POCKET BRO LIKE WHAT WHEN DID EVE TAP THAT (lucky bitch) I was wondering where she was and apparently it was in his bed (that shit made me snort he has hella rizz) cause not only did he take Adam’s first wife he took the second one too bro, it was pretty cool seeing his more demon form his horns where hella cool and the fact that the entire time Lucy was like unserious about his whole interaction with Adam’s is crazy because I feel like it shows how powerful he really is, after all he is still a seraphim. I appreciate that despite everything Charlie still keeps her compassion and keeps her dad from killing him cause that could not be me girl plus nifty coming in with the last stab is hilarious he really got killed by her of all people that is sad, from what I could count I think she stabbed him 15 times maybe? Which like damm that’s crazy he stood no chance I’m kind of wondering if lute and him had something going one too bc her reaction was definitely not just some soldier who worshipped him it felt more personal and with the whole (sir SIR ADAM!!) plus the dopey ass smile he gave her wich Im ignoring the fact that it might’ve been due to the rapid amount of blood exiting his body and the multiple stab wounds and the fact he was, you know….dying was very loving in a way that just makes you think if there was more to them.

(Quick shout out to the fact that I’m watching the last episode for the second time and I just noticed what I think is Angeldust’s brother and Baxter watching the news)

I’m curious what deal Alastor made that is making him want so desperately to get out bc he definitely was close to a nervous breakdown there (husk was so disappointed Al didn’t die in the war). I was so thankful Pentious actually went to heaven bro I was starting to worry I’m not gonna lie 😀, his design is pretty cute i find it funny he ended up right in front of Sarah and Emily bc you’d expect him to be at the gates but no, it was like a big fuck you to Sarah about redemption which I love how they both reacted to that (love Emily).

Now Lilith, the fact that she is so obviously in heaven is insane like girl you have been gone for SEVEN years with absolutely zero contact with anyone and at first I was like where can she even go in hell that would keep her away for so long and then boom she’s on a nice beach somewhere up above like what the hell. Apparently her and Adam made a deal which my theory is that way before it was made official in order for for the exterminator to happen permanently which I’m guessing was Adam’s idea him and Lilith agreed that if she sang just enough to get his idea accepted by Sarah she would get to stay and chill in heaven maybe? It could be deeper than that but it’s crazy that all this time when her daughter needed her most she was just enjoying life upstairs, maybe she really is the evil mastermind behind it all.

(Something I just thought about, did Lucifer cheat on Lilith with Eve??? Cause like when he said he stole botu of Adam’s wives he was with Lilith so does that explain why they aren’t together or maybe had a falling out a long time ago, or would explain his depression and sense of guilt despite it being so long ago kind of)

——————————————————————————

Anyway that was all my opinions and commentary on the last two episodes of hazbin hotel I just don’t have anyone to talk to this about and it was too early for anyone else to really write anything about this so I was like fuck it I have tumbler, please do leave comments on your opinions, commentary, and theories about this I would absolutely love to hear what you you’d have to say thank you for reading this shit show that is my brain. 🥰

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #hazbin charlie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin lucifer #hazbin spoilers

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unfinshedsentec · 2 years

Note

Okay okay can I request the reader pranking Baji, Mikey, Souya, and Rindou into blinking by telling them “I’m scared” and when they ask why, reader tells them “when I close my eyes, I can’t see” and then they close their eyes only to find out that they’ve been pranked? I hope this is within the rules!

hey love! Thank you so much for requesting! I honestly think this joke is hilarious and it was so fun to write

I hope you enjoy <3

“WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES I CAN’T SEE❕”

reader is gender neutral!

characters: mikey, baji, souya (angry), and rindou!

tw: dumdass-bess and cursing

Mikey

o Mikey is a dumbass…so basically his reaction will be interesting

o My guy panics when anything is wrong with you, and trust me, he’s gonna freak out when you tell him something’s seriously wrong with you

o The poor guys already convinced you’re dying

o But THEN when you say, “When I close my eyes I can’t see!” he’ll go BATSHIT

o All he heard was “I can’t see” and boom

o There’s a crazy Mikey on the loose

o He’s truly convinced you’re going blind or something

o Of course, you just had to take advantage of this, and well…

o “Is it the same for you Mikey?! Or I am…..dying?”

o Of course, Mikey did what you asked and closed his eyes

o Only to not be able to see too!

o Surprise, surprise

o You couldn’t help but crack up at Mikey’s absolutely horrified face

o He was so freaked out that he didn’t even comprehend what you said in the first place

o It was only when you started laughing, he actually thought about it

o He FINALLY realized what you were saying after he called Draken and got it spelled out for him….

o Let’s just say Mikey was pissed

o Or at least as pissed as he can get with you

o He also felt stupid, which makes things worse

o For the rest of the day he was all pouty and childish with you

o He literally turned his back to you every time you looked at him

o It was only after you promised him cuddles and Dorayaki that he forgave you

o And once he did, he would NOT let you go

o Secretly, he’s relieved you were only messing with him

o He’s so relieved he just wouldn’t let you go, just to be sure you’re truly safe!

o Overall, Mikey’s poor heart can’t handle this stuff, so only do it every once in while!

o Especially because he’s stupid enough to believe it

o The prank was funny while it lasted though!

Baji

o Baji is…not the sharpest tool in the shed

o This guy can’t even spell ‘Tiger’….he sure as hell doesn’t process what you’re saying at all

o I mean, you did approach him with “I think something’s wrong”, and he immediately tried to take you to the ER

o He was trying to drag you onto his motorcycle in a matter of seconds

o Then you told him you couldn’t see when you close your eyes…

o And he tried it too

o Way to make things worse

o Baji will literally lose his shit whenever he realizes that he too, cannot see when he closes his eyes

o He’ll keep closing his eyes, and then he’ll open them screaming

o You could barely keep yourself together at this point

o But then he called and told his mom your guy’s “problem”

o Poor Baji has never been so embarrassed

o Not only did his mom berate the hell out of him, he had to sit there and watch you laugh the whole time

o He felt like such a fool when he listened to his Mom repeated it over and over again…and he realized just how stupid he was

o He’ll never forget this…he’ll forgive but he won’t forget

o And trust me, Baji’s plotting to get back at you

o So good luck…because Baji sure as hell won’t hold back

o ….have fun with that!

Angry

o Poor Angry, he’d be so worried

o I mean, the moment you said something was wrong, he was already so worried about you

o He hates seeing you sick/hurt in any way, so when you started going about something being wrong, he was already doing everything in his power to figure out what was wrong

o Then you said, “When I close my eyes, I can’t see!!!”

o He was worried you got whacked in the head or something

o Seriously, he genuinely thought you had some sort’ve head injury…

o But then you continued to become more persistent and he became even more stressed

o He honestly thought you were loosing it when you told him to close his eyes too

o He’s questioning everything the whole time

o Poor boy was so confused

o He became even more confused when you started laughing at him

o Now he’s positive you’ve got a bad head injury, and he thinks you need to go to the emergency room

o He almost started crying because he was so sacred you had terrible head-trauma

o Poor Angry just doesn’t get it!

o You ended up having to spell it out for him before he finally got you were pranking him

o The poor guy just believes every word you say….to the point where he has trouble with your pranks

o He’s honestly so relieved you’re okay that he cuddles and clings to you for the next couple of day

o …at least you know not to do these pranks on poor angry now!

o Lord knows you’ll give him a heart attack one of these days

Rindou

o This man is the type to FREAK out when you say something wrong

o I mean, you tell him you have a minor headache and he’ll baby you for the rest of the day (maybe more)

o So trust me, when you tell him there’s something wrong, he’ll immediately panic and ask you a billion questions

o “What’s wrong? Where does it hurt? Or are you sick? Do I need to take you to the hospital? DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO DIE?!”

o Yeah, poor Rindou overreacts

o And when you tell him “I’m scared” he’ll lose his shit even more

o Rindou will literally convince himself you’re dying

o But the moment you say “I can’t see when I close my eyes”, he will absolutely loose it…. from anger

o There’s no getting him to close his eyes too

o The guy will take one look at you, rub his forehead, and shun you

o And he’s stubborn, so he’ll shun you for a while

o Of course, it doesn’t help that Ran thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

o Ran always makes things worse

o Ran made Rindou angrier

o And now he’s shunning you AND Ran

o Luckily, with some cuddles, a date night, and some kisses Rindou forgave you, and everything will go back to normal…as long as you promise you won’t do anything like that again

o My guy’s heart can’t take anymore scares like that

o So as long as you don’t do that to Rindou again, everything will be fine!

o As for Ran, he’s not yet to be forgiven

o Rindou will never forgive Ran

o Oh well…. Ran’s next prank will make Rindou forget about all this……

//end!

masterlist || reblogs are very appreciated <3

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therealdisneyfan2319 · 1 year

Text

Cake | Wanda Maximoff

Summary: Wanda surprises you with a cake after a long overdue promotion at work

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Word Count: 759

Masterlist

“Umm, watchya doin’ there hon?” you asked. The kitchen was in absolute shambles. Mixing bowls and spoons were scattered all over. Batter and flour were plastered on the counters, the walls, the floor, and Wanda’s face. She looked completely overwhelmed, her red hair messily falling out of the bun tied on top of her head.

She sighed as she leaned up against the sink, running a flour-covered hand through her hair and speckling it white. “Well, I was attempting to make you a cake to celebrate your new job offer, but I think things got out of hand,” she explained as she looked around to examine the damage done to their kitchen.

“You know, I think this is what Agatha meant when she was talking about chaos magic,” you teased, picking up a whisk from the floor. As you stood up, something hit the side of your face: it was flour. As you looked at your white hand, Wanda giggled. She had a mixing bowl in her hand, the remnants of her magic creating a red glow over the bowl.

“Oh you’re gonna get it now,” you said, placing the whisk on the island. You quickly scanned the room for the nearest flour-laden object, which was the flour sack itself. Wanda screamed as you lunged toward the open bag.

“Don’t you DARE!” she shrieked as you grabbed a fistful of flour.

“All’s fair in love and war,” you taunted, chasing her around the island.

“Y/N I swear don’t even think-” She was abruptly cut off as flour hit her square in the face. She froze in place, eyes shut as she sputtered flour out of her mouth and nose. It was a sight to see, Wanda standing there, already disheveled, but now with flour all over her face. You couldn’t help but laugh. It was absolutely hilarious.

“Stop it! It’s not that funny!” she whined. You were laughing so hard you could barely breathe as you bent over with your hands on your knees. “I’m serious!”

You kept laughing as you looked at her. She could say she was angry all she wanted, but you could tell she was resenting the smile that was slowly creeping up her lips. Her smile quickly turned into a smirk. Before you realized what she was doing, you saw her turn her wrist and felt the entire bag of flour dump on your head.

Now it was her turn to laugh as you stood there wiping flour out of your eyes. “Okay, I probably deserved that,” you admitted, brushing the flour out of your hair.

“Yeah you did,” she laughed.

“You know what? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. And to show you how sorry I am I’m going to give you a BIG hug!” You extended your arms out wide as you walked towards her.

Wanda’s eyes grew wide with fear. “Oh nonononono, don’t you do it, mister.” When she saw you were serious she turned and ran into the dining room, but you were too fast for her. She squealed as you wrapped your arms around her midsection and lifted her up. “Put me down!” she squealed. You obliged, lowering her until her feet touched the ground. But your grip around her middle didn’t loosen that much. Just enough for her to turn around and face you.

“You’ve got a little something on your face,” you pointed out.

“Where?” she asked, raising a hand to her cheek.

“Here I’ve got it,” you said as you leaned in to kiss her. She brought her hands up and wrapped them around your neck.

“Did you get it?” she asked as you broke the kiss.

“Nope, let me try again.” She giggled as you leaned back in to kiss her lips again.

This time it was Wanda who broke the kiss. “I’m sorry about the cake,” she apologized.

“That’s okay,” you replied. “But next time, I’m okay with one of those ice cream whale ones.”

“Wanna go to the store and get one?” she asked.

“You serious?” You raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Mmhmm.”

“Like I can get my own whale cake? With the crunchies and everything?!”

“Why not? We’re celebrating!”

“Come on woman! We’re burning daylight!” You pushed her out of the way and grabbed the keys from the table, bolting to the car flour and all.

Wanda laughed as you trailed flour across the floor. You might be a pain sometimes, but you were her pain, ice cream cake loving and flour throwing and all. And she loved you for it.

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littleperilstories · 1 year

Text

The Prince of Thieves: Nothing But a Foolish Child

Mood Boards | Chapter Titles | Also on A03!

Warnings: Mention of jail/prison, mention of death/execution, anxiety- and- fear- and- desperation-fuelled bad decisions 🙃

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Word count: 2254 || Approx reading time: 9 mins

Nothing But a Foolish Child

Teaser: Will would find this whole scene hilarious. “Really? That’s what you’re planning? Could you make it any more dramatic?” I can imagine the way he’d mime me pulling back the bowstring and imitate the sound of an arrow whooshing through the air.

Jamie

I’m only glad that I’m alone when I hear what happened to Will.

It’s old news by the time it reaches me—communicated lazily in bored, impatient mutters, punctuated mostly with smirks and eye rolls. Snatches of gossip drift past me on the wind as I steal through the market, keeping my head down: Were you there that day? Did you hear him scream? Anything else exciting happen lately?

At first, it all means nothing. People gossip all the time; they’ll watch anything if it brings a smidgeon of entertainment to the mundanity of their lives and talk about anything if it brings them enough attention.

Do you think he’ll be the next to hang?

It’s that question, asked between two merchants walking past a butcher shop, that makes me realize I should have been listening more intently.

I gather by the time I leave that my brother is—or was a few days ago—alive.

It’s a good thing that Geoff is staying at the cabin today.

One, he’d surely be upset to hear what they did to Will.

Two, I can hardly breathe, and he’s seen me break down enough times over the past weeks.

I can’t lose control in front of him again. He’ll worry, probably, if I don’t return soon, but I can’t go back to him, not like this.

It’s difficult to tell how much time passes before the shaking stops, before the pain in my chest subsides, before I can appear anything close tocalm.

What do I do now? Should I tell Geoff?

Whether to tell Colette isn’t a problem. Couldn’t tell her if I wanted to. No idea where she’s gone.

But Geoff is here.

He has a soft spot for Will, like everyone does who knows him well, but maybe a little more than most. I’m not sure what it is, because they couldn’t be more different. Geoff thinks Will is funny, for sure. Maybe, though, he sees something in my brother he can’t quite understand or reproduce himself—that loud courage, the frenetic energy and chaos, the downright obnoxiousness. So different from the quiet concentration, the gentleness hiding beneath Geoff’s hulking figure. The calm and surety that drew me to him from the beginning.

What would he say if he knew?

Sure bled a lot. Voices of cruel strangers echo in my head. Yeah, saw him fall. Damn, I’m sad I missed it.

My feet carry me to the one place I know I shouldn’t go. Colette would absolutely murder me if she knew. It’s one thing for her to swan around town, pretending to be a different person at every turn, flirting or eavesdropping to steal bits of news, sneaking around with her quick fingers and light footfalls. She’s more or less uncatchable.

You look like him, she’d remind me sternly. Or maybe she’d go for, You’re the one they’re looking for. Either way, she’d conclude with, It’s too dangerous, Alpha.

I stand outside the prison’s stone walls. Against all odds, I’ve never been on the inside of these bars and stones—but I would give anything to be the one behind them now.

I peer through the gate, trying to imagine the scene as it was a few days ago. Why wasn’t I here? If I had been, what would I have done? What could I have done? Anything? Nothing?

I’d do anything to find you. I promised Will that once, didn’t I? I’m a fucking liar.

I don’t know what to do. What I can do.

Everything is crashing down on me, crushing me, smothering me, forcing every ounce of air from my lungs and I’m not sure I’ll be able to catch my breath. It was supposed to be me. It was only a coincidence, a stroke of hell-sent misfortune that sent Will in my place to what should have been nothing more than a fucking conversation. It’s me the constables want, not him, not really. IA was my idea. It’s my responsibility.

It was supposed to be me.

It was supposed to be me, but it’s Will.

Will is alive, but he’s suffering.

Will is alive.

They wanted me, but they got Will. And Will is still alive.

The thought repeats, an agonizing chorus, messy and disorganized, confused and stuttering. Will is alive, but he might not be soon.

Will is there, alive.

But they want me.

I’d do anything to find you.

Promise?

Promise.

Geoff was the one who taught me to shoot. Where, exactly, he picked up his astonishing and unnerving myriad of unrelated but useful skills, I’m not sure. Not that it matters—I’m grateful no matter where he learned to stitch wounds, shoot a bow, cook decently, pick locks, navigate everywhere he goes like he’s been there before, and do everything else he can do.

This particular skill, I don’t use often—I think Geoff used to hunt more for food, but we haven’t needed to since IA, since we’ve actually had money. Mostly, it was a nice excuse in the early days to sneak off into the woods together. He was a good teacher, patient if a little terse, and having him stand next to or behind me—laying his hands on my arms or shoulders to coax me into the right position—never quite lost its thrill.

If he knew what I was doing, he would be furious, but he isn’t going to find out.

Will would find this whole scene hilarious. “Really? That’s what you’re planning? Could you make it any more dramatic?” I can imagine the way he’d mime me pulling back the bowstring and imitate the sound of an arrow whooshing through the air.

He’d find it funny, that is, if he were here. If I weren’t doing this for him. To get him out.

Geoff may have been a good teacher, but my skills aren’t quite strong enough to hit a target from this distance, especially with twilight falling quickly. Fortunately, I’m not trying to hit a target. I just need to get a message from out here to in there.

I’d love to just send an arrow straight through one of their fucking windows, but I have no idea whose office is where. And this message is for one person in particular: Constable Baden Hatchett.

Shift change is usually quick, no pomp, no fuss. One of the higher-ups stalks past the new guard shortly after…to make sure everything’s in order, or that the bastards are standing up straight, or that their shoes are shiny enough, or whatever it is you’re supposed to care about when you wear the constabulary uniform.

And when Hatchett walks by…

It’s hard to wait, of course, but I remain still, curled in the fork of a tree towering a healthy distance from the prison walls. Nobody, not even Colette, could make the jump from here into the jail yard. I’m not trying to get inside, though.

String secures a single note tightly to the arrow shaft. It’s going to fuck up the balance, I guess, but such is the risk. As long as it gets close enough to Hatchett for him to notice, I don’t care if it’s an impressive shot.

Darkness gathers ever faster, and I know the shift change will be soon. This time of year, when the sun sets early, they switch just before the light disappears completely. Then, I will simply need to wait for Hatchett to make his rounds.

What few birds remain through the autumn grow quiet, only occasional chirps and calls breaking through the gloom. Though I try to concentrate on other things, my heart is racing.

Me and Geoff’s bow, we are the same—strung tightly enough to hurt.

Maybe I’m making a mistake. In fact, I probably am. In our family, it’s not usually me making the severe errors in judgment. That’s Will’s territory, and I’m usually the one cleaning up his mess.

But tonight it’s my turn.

Noise cuts through the air: calls and laughter, relatively quiet and deceptively innocent, as the guards perform their switches.

The countdown begins.

When the man appears, the one I’m waiting for, my vision goes white for an instant. Pure, blind rage.

He arrested my brother.

He hurt my brother.

I’ve never seen his face up close, but I suppose I will soon enough.

Two things nearly stay my hand. My inner circle, of course, but mostly Geoff—how angry he will be if Hatchett accepts my terms. The other, weaker and yet still powerful and sharp in my chest, is worry for a different group. If I am dead, will IA continue without me? If it doesn’t—and I wouldn’t blame the others if they decided to disband entirely—what will become of all the people we’ve helped over the years? Will others rise to take our place, or will they be too fearful once they learn of my fate? Will the days of stealing from the rich and giving care packages to those in need be done for good?

Undeterred by these worries, I touch the arrowhead to my lips, an unconscious wish of good luck, a wordless command to fly straight and true. These are my last moments to change my mind. Once I fire, I am shackled by a promise.

And once I make a promise, I am honour-bound to keep it.

It’s unwise to stay still and try to read his face from this distance; I must rely on my imagination to fill in what I cannot discern. I hope his expression is startled, perhaps slightly fearful, but intrigued, as he reads my message and what I offer in exchange for Will’s freedom.

Geoff is pissed off when I return. “Where were you?”

“I needed to walk.”

I stashed the bow and quiver before I came inside, and by some stroke of good luck, he hasn’t noticed it’s gone. It’s dark enough in the old cabin that I’m probably safe until morning, when I can sneak it back inside to its home in the corner.

“Thought you were done with that, Wolf.”

The hurt in his voice slices into me. “I know.” I don’t want to fight. Tonight, of all nights, I don’t want to become mired in a conflict I might never get to resolve. Or say something I might die regretting. “I’m sorry.”

He’s looking at me with worry and even suspicion. Something—I have to say something. “I think Will’s alive.”

I still don’t know if bringing it up is the right choice, but it’s too late now. I don’t want to tell him about the flogging—don’t want to put those pictures in his head. But I need to give him some kind of reason for my twilight wandering.

He blinks. Blanches, even. “Why d’you think that?”

“No executions since that first one.” I swallow. I hate keeping things from him.

Silence. Uncomfortable. Sickly.

“He must be so scared,” I say. I see Geoff’s mouth open like he’s about to speak, too, but I keep going. “I would be, if I—if it—” Fuck, fuck, I’m going to lose control again. “He’s alone in there. He probably thinks—thinks that—”

He thinks I’ve given up on him.

“And you know what he’s like.” A headache blooms and attacks immediately, wasting no time with any slowly intensifying nonsense. Instant. Violent. “He runs his mouth, he doesn’t think, he’s a complete asshole on a good day. When he’s upset…”

Sure bled a lot. Yeah, saw him fall.

“I don’t know if I can do it, Geoff.” Any more and I will tell him what I’ve done. I bite my tongue. The coppery tang of blood fills my mouth. “I can’t watch him die.”

His anger fades. “You don’t have to. No one would…”

The implication, filthy and shameful: he’d understand if I didn’t go. If I weren’t present for my brother’s unfair, unjust, untimely execution.

You don’t have to, he says. With any luck, I won’t have to. “Don’t say that, Geoff. You know I couldn’t…”

I let the unsaid words hang between us.

Geoff pulls me toward our meagre pile of blankets. There’s no bed in here—it’s set up as a resting spot for hunters, usually groups who just camp on the floor with bedrolls. “Wolf.”

Tonight, I flinch at the name. It’s wrong. It’s cursed.

“Just…” My next words might be the ones to give me away. “Can you just…” I can’t stop myself. “Geoff. Please.”

He knows. He always does. How is it that, no matter where or when, he always knows what I need? What everyone else needs? “Jamie.”

Finally.

“You would actually go, right?” I’m trying so hard not to lose it. “I can’t leave Will, I can’t, not really.” Leaving the house was one thing. Leaving town is another. “But if it was me, or if something happened, you would go.”

It isn’t a question. It cannot be a question.

“It’s different for me and him,” I say. “He’s my brother, my family, I have to—I have to at least be here. But Geoff, promise, fucking promise me you’d leave and never come back.”

Geoff wraps his arms around me, presses his face against my neck, the unkempt, wiry hairs of his beard digging into my skin, a sublime sort of torment, innocent yet lethal. “Jamie.”

His grip tightens, and mine does, too.

“You are my family.”

And I’m done, I’m wrecked. Again. After weeks of teetering on the edge and feeling helpless… Now I’ve finally done something and Geoff said my name and IA is all he has and I am all he has and—

I’m going to abandon him.

Geoff was once a secret I couldn’t tell a single soul—not just the way he made me feel, that day and every day since, but the twist of fate that brought us together that even Will doesn’t know about.

Now he is the one I am keeping secrets from.

Constable Hatchett,

If you want IA, then you want me. If the man you arrested goes free, unharmed, I will turn myself in, and Iustitia aecum will be no more.

Your move.

J. W.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Tagging: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams, @gala1981, @kixngiggles .

[Banner ID: A narrow horizontal, rectangular banner featuring a barred archway. The bars and the stone walls evoke the feeling of a dungeon or prison. There are burning candles on either side of the archway. The title of the story, The Prince of Thieves, appears in white text in the centre of the image. The author's username, abbreviated to LPS from littleperilstories, appears in the bottom right corner in partially transparent text. End ID.]

#lps the prince of thieves #whump #dungeon whump #whump writing #whump story #whump fiction #original fiction #original writing #original story #original content #whumpblr #whump community #writeblr #lps-writes #oc Will Wardrew #oc Baden Hatchett #oc Jamie Wardrew #oc whump

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0pin0n-custard · 2 years

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Harley Quinn Season 3 Episode 2 and DC’s Refusal to Address Harm

**TW Discussion of Sexual Assault, Victim Blaming, Mental Health Issues, and Suicide**

Please note that I am writing this as a survivor of rape, and as someone who suffers from PTSD and dissociation

Hearing that Nightwing was making an appearing in Harley Quinn really got me excited. I wanted to see how they’d depict him and what they’d do with his character.

Overall, my feelings are mixed. And it’s all because of one line.

Yep. The “I let Vigilante kill Blockbuster” line that had “I let Tarantula kill Blockbuster” in the closed captions.

I could get on my soapbox for hours about Nightwing 93 and its absolutely abhorrent handling of rape. Devin Grayson did a fucking horrible job, and her victim blaming commentary did nothing to help her cause. She’s since addressed this, but I personally can’t bring myself to forgive her for the genuine harm she caused.

As an aside, please don’t go harass her. That isn’t ok. You don’t have to like her; just don’t harass her.

Back on topic, DC handled Nightwing’s rape by pretending that it never happened. Nightwing 93 isn’t in print and the assault was never addressed in the comics again.

So you can imagine my genuine shock when the I was watching Harley Quinn (with subtitles on because auditory processing is a bitch) and I heard/saw that line drop.

I want to make one thing very clear. I’m not opposed to DC acknowledging its fuck-ups. They made Dick’s rape canon, so it’s better to address it and handle it in a proper, respectful manner than to just shove it away and hope no one remembers.

But the way that it was handled in the show frustrated me for two reasons.

1. The lack of acknowledgment (again)

Yep. DC really fucked up in that regard. No surprise there.

The people behind Harley Quinn all collectively decided that mentioning Nightwing 93 was a good idea.

And I agree! Harley Quinn has plenty of moments where they address serious subject matter (like… ya know.. how the Joker treated Harley.) They managed to pull that off in a way that kept the humor, set the stage for the show, but also remained respectful towards survivors of domestic violence. It’s a perfect platform for the long-ignored assault to be processed.

But then they pulled a Devin Grayson (although to a significantly less harmful degree) by simply not acknowledging it.

Dick wasn’t upset because of what Tarantula did. He was upset that he let Blockbuster die. Just like in the comics.

And to make matters worse, somewhere along the line, someone had the bright idea that “hey maybe we shouldn’t mention Tarantula because of what happened.” And the voice line got changed to “Vigilante.”

This doesn’t work for a variety of reasons. Nightwing 93 is infamous in the fandom. You mention Blockbuster’s death, and fans are gonna know exactly what event is being referred to. You can’t just bring it up and change the name around. We all know what happened, and, to me, it feels like the show erased Nightwing’s trauma (again.)

Not to mention, the subtitle wasn’t changed. So… that was kinda a dead giveaway.

Either the creators realized midway through development that mentioning Tarantula would be a bit ~controversial~, had Nightwing’s VA do a quick redo, and then forgot to change the CC, or the DC higher ups weren’t too happy that Tarantula was brought up, told the Harley Quinn team to change it, and they did but also kept the CC the same. Idk which.

Not to mention, the fact that it was changed somewhere along the line means that DC recognized that Dick had been raped in Nightwing 93, and made the deliberate decision to silence him once again.

Either way, DC fucked up the soup by sticking their toe in it, then trying to pretend like they didn’t.

2. Dick Grayson’s Characterization

Harley Quinn is a dark comedy. It pokes fun at its cast all the time. Dick being dramatic and trying too hard to be like Batman is a really funny concept; I like how the show ran with it. Dick being overly confident and fucking up the chess? Honestly, pretty damn hilarious and a good in-character caricature.

It’s his subsequent breakdown that I take issue with.

Because despite someone’s best efforts, Tarantula was mentioned. And as I said before, almost every DC fan knows what Tarantula did to Nightwing.

The moment that the Blockbuster incident was brought up, Harley Quinn’s version of Nightwing became a survivor of sexual assault. You can’t separate the two incidents; trust me- DC has tried.

And so, Dick’s breakdown in the escape room gained a new, darker context. Dick’s emotional instability wasn’t just due to his allowance for Blockbuster’s death; it was also because he’d recently been raped.

Dick’s suicidal behavior wasn’t just him being overly-dramatic. And that scene became significantly less humorous with the added context of Nightwing 93.

The resolution felt really half-baked as well. Even putting the rape aside, Dick was still really traumatized by what happened with Blockbuster. His fear over his family’s reactions wasn’t addressed. The ending felt rushed and, to a degree, unsatisfactory.

I know that some of you might be saying that I’m looking too deep into this, and that it’s just a TV show. But to me, it’s not.

I have wanted DC to actually address Nightwing 93 for years. Dick Grayson has been the victim of several instances of abuse, assault, and rape. The character has endured so much trauma, and yet DC ignores it; they allowed it to happen, but they refuse to give him the time of day to actually address it.

I can’t tell you how many comments I’ve seen made by fanboys about how “lucky” Nightwing was for being raped by Tarantula and Mirage. About how his relationship with Liu wasn’t statutory rape. Etc. etc.

It’s fucking disgusting, and DC is partially to blame. By continuously making Nightwing the victim of sexual assault, and then never addressing it as such, they are sending out a very harmful message.

By never acknowledging the trauma, they’re implying that it wasn’t trauma. By ignoring the rape, they’re leaving the door open for assholes to say that it wasn’t rape to begin with.

This has real world consequences.

Male survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, abuse, rape, etc. are constantly invalidated and ignored by society. (Non-male victims are ignored and invalidated as well; I’m just specifically discussing male victims right now.)

Boys are called lucky if their female teacher rapes them. Men are called weak if a woman rapes them. Men are emasculated if another man rapes them.

Even “safe” spaces aren’t safe for them. Most survivor resources use female-only language, thus making many men and gender non-conforming people feel unwelcome. I’ve experienced this IRL.

By never addressing the harm they caused, DC has allowed Dick Grayson to become a symbol of a silenced victim, never allowed to share his story or process his trauma.

But despite all of that, many survivors, myself included, have found comfort in Dick Grayson.

*just a warning for some trauma dumping from my own life, but it’s relevant to the topic at hand i promise*

In 2020, I moved to a new state (I live in the U.S.) I was all alone; my entire support system was over 500 miles away. Only a few weeks after I moved into my new apartment, I was sexually assaulted only a block away.

When I called my mom, she blamed me and took the time to shame me for being on testosterone. My (now ex) boyfriend blamed me and refused to visit me. My friends were only able to offer surface-level support. I was completely alone.

When I say that Nightwing saved my life, I genuinely mean it. For years by that point I’d been processing my trauma and life in general through the lenses of media and fanfiction. Reading fanfictions that actually addressed and expanded upon Nightwing 93 became my primary coping skill. I can’t thank the fanfic authors enough tbh. I projected myself onto Dick Grayson. I, a man who survived sexual assault and dissociation only to be invalidated, saw myself in that fictional character. He was more a hero in my eyes than ever before. Nightwing got me through that shit. Fanfictions that actually addressed and handled Nightwing’s trauma got me through that shit. Was that entirely healthy? No. But I didn’t have many options at that point. They kept me alive. That’s all that matters.

*ok trauma dumping is over sorry about that.*

I wish Harley Quinn had been different. I wish that the show had been the one to finally give Dick a voice in DC. I wish that it hadn’t censored out Tarantula’s name. I wish it had handled it like it handled Harley’s trauma. I wish it had given me and other survivors representation.

I wish that it hadn’t subsequently turned Dick into a suicide joke.

Approximately 33% of women who are victims of sexual assault contemplate suicide. 13% of them attempt it.

I’d give you a statistic based on male victims or a non-gendered sample, but such a study hasn’t been published. (At least, not based on 20 minutes of searching both google and academic articles.)

I understand and fully embrace that Harley Quinn is a dark comedy. It makes dark jokes, and a lot of them get a laugh out of me. But given the context of.. everything, that scene just felt in poor taste. Especially since his suicidal behavior wasn’t addressed again.

Thankfully, Harley Quinn isn’t over yet. I’m really hoping that DC will actually explore Dick’s trauma and give him a respectful, kind, long-overdue resolution to Nightwing 93.

But based on DC’s past and current behavior, I’m not getting my hopes up.

And please know, this whole rant is not me saying that Harley Quinn is a bad show or that the creative team is like Devin Grayson or that they need to be cancelled or anything like that. Not at all. I’m still going to continue watching and enjoying the show. I think it’s really good, and I love what it’s doing for Gotham characters. I blame the DC higher-ups wayyyyy more than I would ever blame the Harley Quinn team.

I just wanted to put my thoughts and frustrations out into the universe, because I’m very tired of survivors (regardless of gender) being silenced, ignored, and mocked.

#tw rap3 #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #dc comics #dc #harley quinn #batfamily #batfam #gotham #poison ivy #dick grayson #batman #bruce wayne #nightwing #nightwing 93 #dc i will never forgive you #devin grayson #i hate her so much

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writebackatya · 1 year

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3. The best character you’ve written for

Della. Your love of her character absolutely shows in how you write her. She’s hilarious, snarky, and caring at the same time. She’s an absolute ball to read when you write her.

6. Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics

When Dewey accidentally got high on pot brownies when he met his Great Aunt Matilda in the 1960s.

10. A character/ship I didn't enjoy/think about as much before you wrote about them

Jane. In the grand scheme of things, she’s a relatively minor character, but at the same time, she has such an interesting relationship with both Louie and Webby. And she’s so relatable, in that she’s just a regular Joe, trying to get by by working at a children’s entertainment center. And just how you write her in general is so interesting!

3. Thank you! Della is always a blast to write for! Even when her role is smaller in an overall story I still like to think she makes a big impression. Especially when I not so subtlety let the reader know, “Yeah. Della is in this story!” like in this one where Della was basically given the role of “supportive soccer mom”

If I have an excuse to include Della in a story I will. If she has no story purpose reason to be in a story, I’ll probably just have a character mention her

Yeah I definitely don’t play favorites

And I’m glad I know at least one person out there enjoys how I capture! I remember early on when I started I writing I had a worry that my readers would get sick of me writing stuff around Della Duck and so far no complaints!

6. Oh my god! Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing that but I wasn’t sure if people would think it was as funny as I thought it was or they thought I was a messed up individual for writing this kid eating not one, but TWO pot brownies that a family member gave him. (Granted, neither knew they were related to one another but, still)

But at the same time…how could I NOT do a story about Dewey getting high during the events of Timephoon!?!

Timephoon! fics are always so fixated on that one scene when other characters were going through some stuff in that episode too. Well everybody but Dewey and Webby! They were having a fun play date with Bubba and got to eat chili dogs! And then they fought pirates! And went back in time to the 1960s and dressed up like hippies! Talk about a fun day!

I remember when I was writing it I was back and forth with whether or not I wanted Webby to eat a brownie. Glad I didn’t, I have something far more sinister planned for her in the next story which I had planned long before I even wrote Dewey eating that pot brownie

Also. Matilda definitely made edibles and was a hippie during the 60s.

10. Oh Jane, I’m gonna do whatever I can to make more people in the fandom realize you’re great! Because she is! So far I think I only have her in two of my stories. Indi-Quack!’s F.O.W.L Play! where she vents to Gandra about her job (because she deserves to, damn it!) and Up, Up, and Away! where she is on the clock and getting paid time and half to be in the Funso’s ad

I just think she’s the type of person that would be on the good side of everyone in McDuck Family. Besides Louie and Webby, I like to think she’s chill with all the kids.

Also I’m sure Jane has stories about working with Magica that she could share with Lena

I don’t have a whole lot of other stuff planned for Jane. She has a small role in my Iron Duck of Steel story and will definitely appear throughout the story (such acting as sort of a bartender to two characters later on in the story when they’re at a low point in their lives)

And I do have another idea for a story that will take place at Funso’s that I really wanna do. Basically as a way to combat the public finding out about FOWL operating underneath them, Funso’s starts doing adult nights where it basically becomes a Dave and Buster’s because alcohol makes arcades sooooo much better

#fanfic asks for the askers #tokuvivor #writebackatya

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jmagnabo92 · 11 months

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CBS Ghosts - Pilot - Sam & Jay Fight

This is the next scene in the pilot - the one where Sam and Jay fight. I’m excited for this one, but no Trevor :(

Gifs and Discussion below:

Side note - I’m amused that Sam is writing her article (I assume) on the ladder.

Two things are interesting here - they originally decided to go to the Woodstone for the weekend, so we’ve lost a whole day unless they only came up Saturday to Sunday.

Also, interesting - Sam has clearly already decided on living at the mansion (probably before they ever got there) while Jay is far more practical about moving into a rundown old house.

I definitely wonder if her quick acceptance had to deal with being miserable in the city? (I assume she was by later comments, like ‘we barely saw each other”, “we worked so much - never home”, Ect.

She also blends into the country life way easier than Jay does into the mansion and I don’t believe that it’s solely due to the ghosts - she never mentions the city life, friends or missing anything about it in the way that Jay clearly does.

Okay - so, this is funny. Jay’s like “I’m going to say it - mumbles”.

Jay, that is just not how this works! Also, did Sam not expect to have this conversation? She sounds surprised even though that is literally what they agreed to do.

Okay - multiple things here - AGAIN it’s the 4 OLDEST ghosts that have chosen to watch Sam & Jay. Now, is it because they’re worried about losing their free rein of the house? (They were the most concerned about new comers). Is it because they’re very bored? But then, wouldn’t the others be bored, too?

We know that Trevor & Pete are having a war with the Vase, but what about Flower & Alberta? Why aren’t they invested in their possible new livings?

Also, they’re all excited that Jay’s saying “Damn it, I don’t want to uproot our entire lives” - is this exciting because ‘nothing better than a husband/wife fight’ or is it because they’re like - maybe our lives won't change after all?

Lastly, THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES when Thor compares it to ‘Finding a new type of cod’ - OMG. It’s freaking hilarious. I love it.

Okay. Sam, I need you to listen to me - this isn’t about ‘Change’ - it’s beyond crazy to uproot your lives on a dime and take out all of the money to RISK losing everything. Yes, change is scary, but you didn’t answer the question - and you definitely decided that you wanted to move before you ever saw the house.

I wish they had let Jay truly explain what the issue is - it’s more than being afraid to change - this isn’t just changing jobs, moving someplace or having a baby, this is quitting your jobs and suddenly deciding to open a business on a dime. It’s kind of insane.

LOL, Isaac. He’s just like so smitten - Jay was not even trying to be funny. I do love that Sass is giving Isaac a look like ‘who you kidding’, Thor doesn’t care, and Hetty’s smiling - given the story in Whodunnit, do we think Hetty realizes what’s going on with Isaac?

She could technically believe he’s into both (or be hopeful) given what happens in Thorapy. It is believable since she knows that he was once married.

This is the EXACT moment Hetty decides that she likes Sam despite her ‘hideous pants and saucy hairdo’. She’s like “Woodstone - connection - Family, love it.”

It does explain her reaction later on (at the end of the episode) when she originally opted haunt them out of the house and get rid of her.

LMAO - Sass is like “Our home sucks” and Hetty’s like “Damn it - give the house more respect”. It’s a funny exchange.

ANYWHO - Jay is absolutely right. They were barely surviving in NYC and NOW you want to dump money you don’t have in house out in the middle of nowhere? Nah. That’s nutty.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT POINT JAY! When you become a couple you should make decisions JOINTLY! This is WAY too crazy an idea to give into on a whim - you could at least take more time to decide!

WHAT EVEN IS THIS???? Like Sam - this makes no sense. Jay’s right, she’s learned nothing. OTOH this is apparently what she does - storm out. Which is interesting. Also interesting, having this discussion naked in a bathrobe.

Awww, Hetty’s watching her storm out - probably surprised, she never would have considered doing that with Elias because she didn’t have the power Sam has in the 21st century in the 19th century, but also, she just seemed to warm up to Sam (because she wants to raise a family in the family home), so she’s like ‘now I'm going to lose her’.

LMAO - what an ending to the scene. Thor’s probably thinking ‘damnit no sex show’ and laughing because Jay won’t be getting sex, while hurting Isaac who’s like ‘Damn it man’. Sass just rolling his eyes. ‘Ya’ll are idiots’.

Anyway, that’s it for this scene - I agree with Jay (he’s being the logical/rational side - which he ruins at the end of the episode) while Sam’s being the emotional/irrational side, which ironically changes at the end of the episode.

Obviously there would be NO show without Jay caving, but he isn’t wrong for his perspective on things. I do wonder just how miserable Sam was in NYC to make this drastic of a change in the blink of an eye.

#CBS ghosts #Ghosts CBS #Pilot #sam arondekar #jay arondekar #Hetty Woodstone #Thor #Sass #isaac higgintoot

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dreams-and-drabbles · 2 years

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Scaramouche

Platonic Headcanons

Scaramouche is absolutely an asshole to you at times. He makes fun of every little mistake that you make, and finds it funny that you try so hard regardless. Although, oftentimes you find that suddenly something in your life falls into place. Particularly, the things he made fun of— ((Usually, when you mention this to him, he has this self satisfied little smirk he wears. You have no clue if its him apologizing, or showing off, but you’re convinced it’s a slight mix of both.)) He definitely makes snide little comments about society and the likes. Still, despite his attitude, if he’s spending time with you it’s because he likes you in some sort of form. Otherwise, well— You’d probably be dust in the wind. (Let’s be honest.))

He doesn’t usually use words to comfort you ((At least, not in depth. He absolutely curses and swears about every little thing that makes you mad. The tree branch you stepped on? “It shouldn’t have been fucking laying where you could step on it, then!!” It’s actually rather cute. )) , as he’s been subject to to many broken promises. Usually, he’ll show he cares by his actions or going out of his way to do something. Actually, sometimes this causes little mix ups. If Scaramouche sees you eyeing something, he’s going to get it. He’s not good at understanding emotions all too well, so you could be eyeing something in dislike and he’d still probably get it. It’s really awkward but also really funny when you have to explain things like that. He’s started asking you “What are you looking at?” After one particular misunderstanding.

He’s unused to being told no (Though, he can accept it as an answer. He may sulk a little but he’ll be fine.)) and is very childish in some ways. He’s incredibly competitive for one, if he sees someone else that you’re friends with, and you’ve known them longer— He likes to prove he’s the ‘superior’ friend. He also makes it his life mission to get rid of anything troubling you. It can be sweet, but also a bit of a pain at times, if not amusing.— ((The former Fatui harbinger barging into your work place and threatening a co-worker that mistreated you, for one. Did you get fired? No. Actually, no one dared approach you after that, which while not bad in itself— Well, it definitely made it harder to get paid. Of course, Scaramouche was more than happy to say “That’s ridiculous. I can pay for you.” Fortunately, when you explained it was more a thing of pride, he understood. ))

Scaramouche is incredibly touch starved. He’s the one friend that likes to pick you up, or hold hands— ((If given permission. He’s hilarious with that. Like— He literally just burns holes in your hand with his eyes and when you ask “Wanna hold hands?”— He scoffs, but grabs your hand anyways. He’s so awkward, it’s adorable.)) He absolutely would carry you up the stairs to the Shrine if you got tired, like— “Humans are so fragile. Tch. Get on.” Something along those lines, you know?

He tries SO hard to be mean, and dislike you, but when he realizes that you’ve grown on him he just shrugs it off. If people look at him oddly, well— Not like they didn’t already do that, anyways. They couldn’t hurt him and they absolutely wouldn’t hurt you, if they knew what was best for him…

#genshin headcanons #scaramouche #genshin reader insert #platonic headcanons

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rapifessor · 1 year

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It’s been quite a while since I last posted. I’ve still been playing Genshin Impact all this time, but my enthusiasm for the game has been, well, somewhat lessened.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I was already starting to lose interest after Alhaitham until I started paying attention to Dehya, and we all know how that went. I’ve gone F2P since her release, because fuck HoYoverse. They’re a shit company and I realized it far too late. But I still enjoy their game. I just won’t spend money on it anymore.

Since HoYoverse won’t fix Dehya, I won’t dwell on it. I’ve found other things that interest me. One of those has been upgrading a bunch of my characters to level 90 finally. With the exception of Layla I never leveled any of my characters to 90 but I realized I could easily do so with my resources. I also just don’t give a fuck anymore, so burning all that Mora and Hero’s Wit didn’t bother me.

Speaking of not giving a fuck, I’ve also activated C6 on my Bennett. I looked at how many interactions I would lose by doing so and the only one is Eula. Who I never used with Bennett anyway, and I don’t plan on trying for max damage screenshots with her. That’s some whale shit, and a whale I ain’t.

But there’s also a reason I specifically wanted to activate Bennett’s C6, and that’s so I can play a very unique and powerful team that I like to call “Hyperovervaporburgeoncharged.” You can also call it “Thundering Furry,” because Razor is the star of this team.

I love playing Razor. But if you opt for his intended build of Physical DPS, it more often than not feels like shit in endgame, because Physical fucking sucks. So instead of that, you can build Elemental Mastery on him and trigger reactions as your main source of damage. What’s funny about this is the only thing you lose out on by playing Razor this way is his Ascension bonus. None of the rest of his kit is explicitly tied to Physical DMG.

Razor functions pretty well in a Hyperbloom team like this. But adding C6 Bennett to the mix makes things REALLY interesting. Now Razor is applying Electro AND Pyro very quickly, so he’s not just triggering Electro-Charged and Hyperbloom, but also Burgeon, Overloaded, and Vaporize as well. All those reactions, done by one character. And the best part is, Razor is pretty much the only character who can do this. He single-handedly makes this team possible.

That’s why building Hyperovervaporburgeoncharged is my sole focus right now. Not only is it unironically really strong, it’s also fucking hilarious that the 4-Star intended to be a Physical carry for new players is instead a multi-reaction god that literally explodes everything in the game. And I get to enjoy playing Razor while doing it. I’m all in. I’ve triple crowned my Razor; I give absolutely zero fucks at this point. Also he is goodest boi.

#genshin impact #genshin razor #razor genshin impact #long post #rapifessor rambles #razor is goodest boi #thoughts

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giggly-squiggily · 2 years

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Hi it’s 1:36 am and I just finished part 3 of Jojo’s Bizarre adventure and I have thoughts (spoilers under the cut)

Also: TW: mentions of animal death

First of all: best part so far. I loved it so much!

Jotaro Kujo is a brick wall of stoic muscles and good lord I love him!

Joseph!!! I loved him in Part 2 and ahhhh god this part made me love him more! He’s so funny with his “OH MY GOD!”s and “OH SHIT!”s 🤣🤣🤣

Kakyoin (sobs) God I loved him. Mr Cheery-I had only just realized he wears Cherry earrings and that made me happy. His stand was so cool- as was all of them!

PONLNAREFF!!! I wasn’t expecting to fall so hard for a character but on my god! He’s my favorite! Over the top, handsome, too funny for words: I’m happy he lived but lord my heart 😭😭😭

Avdol (sobs) Another king- just the best character! I loved him from day one- his fortune teller theme really made the story, and him and Joseph’s shenanigans were top tier! Also another favorite stand!

IGGY!!! (Sobs hardest) I loved him!!! I wanted him to love what the hell is wrong with this show??? Like- I get it, but also- come on not HIM! 😭😭😭 Still one of the best doggos yet- he’s too funny and his antics were both brave and hilarious! (Also his English VA is Shino from Naruto, so that made me happy)

~~Some other things~~

- The whole Tarot card/Egyptian God theme for the various stand users was absolutely brilliant! I knew a few and leaned about a lot- and quiet a few stand users were hilarious!

- Best of Dio’s Villlains: The old woman, The lovers (even when he was annoying), the brothers (I forgot their names but the comic one and his face shifting brother), the magnet lady

-Worst: Death 13 (gross), the child shadow dude (Ew ew ew ew ew), Cool Ice (F*ck that dude), The dude who did the whole shifty thing and turned into Kakyoin briefly (though the whole cherry thing was funny- especially when you realize he actually did do that)

- I could really do without all the dog deaths. I think I saw somewhere that the reason there’s so many is because the creator loves dogs and seeing them hurt/killed is the epitome of evil to them (don’t quote me on this- it’s just what I heard), but even so- I didn’t like all the random animal deaths.

- Kid Polnareff was adorable but again- that whole arc with the villain was gross. Whatever the heck his name was- it was just super uncomfortable watching it. Baby Jotaro and Polnareff were cute though!

- POLNAREFF LAND QHSNNQNANQMKSNS of all the wishes he could pick that was one of them. “It’ll be bigger then Disney!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

- on the subject: This:

Mid attack but we still gotta do the secret handshake 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Kakyoin and Polnareff are bros and would cause all the mischief.

“Jotaro and I are both students, so we’ll share a room.” Uh huh- sure. That’s the reason you want to share a room with Jotaro, Kakyoin? Gotcha 👀💅

I probably have more thoughts but it’s late and I have stuff in the morning so- good night everyone! :D If I remember I’ll give more thoughts!

#squiggily rambles #jjba #stardust crusaders #thoughts #midnight thoughts #I really did love the anime #I’m excited for part 4!#it’s gonna be a minute before I start it but when I do #it’s gonna be a good day #non tickle #tw: mention of animal death #stardust crusaders spoilers

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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I genuinely apologize in advance for this post. Sometimes Andrew Lawrence comes up in my YouTube recommendations, often as a canary in the coal mine to let me know I need to stop hate reading and/or watching stuff. My internet already knows I want to see British comedy - if I do enough hate watching to make it think I want to see right-wig bullshit too, that’s when the Andrew Lawrence videos start appearing, and then I know I need to stop that shit.

I really don’t do it often; it just annoyingly takes very little for him to start turning up. One wrong click on his stupid fucking face and then he’s everywhere for a few days, a virus that multiples if you give it attention.

...I couldn’t resist the one he did today, about some comedy awards that are happening this weekend. It’s just really funny when Andrew Lawrence rants about comedy, because you can see him looking at the life he willingly chose to give up, of being a comedian. This pushes it from being the “hate watching type of funny, which you’re only slightly laughing at in a bleak way and it’s mainly just frustrating and rage inducing”, to straight-up, laugh out loud funny. I clicked on it. I’m sorry. I know we’re not supposed to give these things views and we’re definitely not supposed to give them attention, which is why I won’t even link to it though obviously anyone could find it. I mean, you shouldn’t. No one should. But holy fuck it’s really funny.

(I’ll be honest: I don’t often watch his videos, but also, I don’t never watch his videos. I do click on them once in a while. I’m admitting that because I want credit for the fact that this is only the second time I’ve made a post about one of his videos, the first time being the absolutely hilarious one he did after it was announced that Mock the Week was cancelled, where he pronounced it “Dara O’Bri-en” and called out Frankie Boyle even though he hasn’t been on since 2009. Other than that I’ve refrained from mentioning them, even when I’ve watched them, which I normally don’t, I know a hate watch is the same as anything else on his view count. But this one is so funny.)

Anyway, here are some of the funniest things about this video:

- The title of Lawrence’s video calls them “C4 Anti-Comedy Awards”, which implies they’re just going to put medals on Richard Ayoade.

- He takes so much pleasure in dropping into the middle of it the fact that he doesn’t pay his license fee. Even though he’s listing that as the reason he can’t watch these awards, and – okay I’m not British so I may well be getting a fact wrong while trying to correct someone else, which is always embarrassing, but isn’t the license fee a BBC thing? These are the Channel 4 Awards.

- Many of the comments (look, I’ve already admitted to hate watching an Andrew Lawrence video, there’s no point in pretending I didn’t also hate read the comments) are complaining about Nish Kumar and/or The Last Leg, saying of course those terrible things will win everything. Neither Nish Kumar nor The Last Leg are nominated for any of those awards.

- At some point he refers to someone else having a “substitute for a personality”, and hearing those words said in that distinctive deadpan voice is really funny.

- I want to know which comedians he thinks Netflix is censoring.

- “Cowards pushing a poisonous identity-obsessed agenda that they don’t actually believe in.” Okay. I realize that’s what people like him say about comedy all the time, that if you don’t make a sufficiently racist joke every four minutes on average it’s just toxic wokeness or whatever. But this comment is a lot funnier if you look at the actual list of nominees. I mean… I’ve seen some comedy with sharp enough leftie credentials to terrifying the likes of Andrew Lawrence. But this shit? BBC Ghosts, and 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, and Taskmaster, and Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett’s parenting podcast? There is nothing in here that should offend even the most easily upset of the Andrew Lawrence-type. What part of that list is he managing to look at and see poison?

Derry Girls criticized colonialism, which is pretty close to the evils of critical race theory, even if everyone involved is white. I guess if you assume anyone who’s not a straight white cis man ever appearing on screen is identity politics, you’d take issue with Starstruck and The Graham Norton Show. But come on. The Graham Norton Show. It’s not exactly revolutionary Marxism, is it? The Russell Howard Hour looks like radical left-wing propaganda compared to every show that’s nominated for these awards (except, again, Derry Girls - even for a hyperbolic joke I can’t suggest that Russell Howard has better left-wing credentials than Derry Girls).

(I’m feeling the need to clarify that I don’t even mean this as a bad thing, Taskmaster and BBC Ghosts are two of the least “edgy” shows I can think of, and they’re both absolutely fantastic. Not all comedy has to be sharply cutting radical satire. I’m just saying, this rant is extra funny when you look at the fact that the stuff that’s upset him so much is very much not sharply cutting radical satire.)

- Fucking love the conspiracy theory about the Edinburgh Fringe selling badly not because of skyrocketing prices, but because patrons of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival don’t want to see left-wing comedy. When I think of people who attend the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I think of people who can’t stand that woke shit.

- Near the end, he suggests that Britain hasn’t got podcasts. Just throws that one in there. Comedy in Britain would be fine if only they were allowed to have podcasts. It’s that anti-podcast law passed by the British government that’s holding them all back. Why are no British people disseminating misinformation and toxic rhetoric via the medium of podcasts like the Americans are? I don’t know what he thinks Russell Brand does for a living.

- It is so funny when he goes straight from an absolutely unhinged rant, all these opinions just totally divorced from reality and delivered straightforwardly while staring directly into the camera, and then straight into “please do like and subscribe”.

Okay I’m done now. I will go back to pretending Andrew Lawrence doesn’t exist - or trying to, because now that I’ve watched that one he’ll be popping up everywhere again. That’ll be my cue to stop doing that.

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