#is this emotional abuse? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hulahoopsoupgroup · 6 months

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last night i reached a real turning point with my views on evangelical christianity.

i overheard my mother whispering to my father from the other room, telling him that i ruined her life by being gay. that i ruined everything for her and i had the "audacity" to ask for therapy to help my mental health (which i cant afford).

and i just kinda snapped internally. it was like this rockslide came crashing down on the road behind me and prevented me from ever turning back.

before, i was fed up with christianity, but that kind of sealed the deal that im never going to put up with anything to do with evangelical christianity, not holidays, not a single worship song, nothing.

it just felt like, idk, like a became a new person. it felt like the old me just fuckin, died. i renamed myself. i just, dont feel like my old self anymore. and idk how to feel about that

#ex fundie #ex fundamentalist #exvangelical #atheist #deconstruction #deconversion #deconstructing christianity #ex religious #religious trauma #lgbt #queer #lesbian #tw slight abuse?#is this emotional abuse?#vent post #ex christian

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sword-and-nightingale · 2 years

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A good chunk of my self-esteem issues would be solved if I wasn't made to feel like all my worth was concentrated into what grades I get and how smart I am while simultaneously being belittled as being a complete idiot whenever my parents asked for my help.

#aster talks #is this emotional abuse?#I'm not tagging it as that

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stil-lindigo · 8 months

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the fox god.

a comic about a trickster.

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creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

#cw: emotional abuse #cw: gaslighting #cw: animal death #charity - a god whose name was only ever meant to be ironic #i love playing with the concept of religion like this #im not religious at all but i did go to a christian school for twelve years #and i remember learning about the story of abraham. who long story short gets told by god to kill his son to prove his love for god.#and at the veeeery last minute god goes sike! this was a test to see if you'd do it! here's a lamb to slaughter instead #but the whole concept of that exchange in and of itself is so #anyway #one thing i meant to include in the creative notes but i ran out of room for is that charity never calls cunning by his name.#it's just “fox”. which was a small touch to indicate that he never acknowledged cunning's identity outside of being something exploitable.#but for all charity's hidden disdain for cunning #he still stole all his strengths and coveted them. he became known as the fox god.#so maybe some part of cunning survived. despite everything.#“give me your heart.”#“my god. it had always been yours.”#comic art #hearteaters #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics #one more comic to go until im finished with this collection!!

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its-simply-just-krys · 1 year

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“Mouthful of Forevers”, Clementine von Radics

#not mine #dark poetry #dark literature #vent poetry #poetry #tw trauma #trauma vent #emotional abuse #tw abuse #childhood trauma #daddy issues #borderline personality disorder #bpd blog #bpd vent #actually borderline #quiet borderline #deep quotes #dark academia poetry #classic literature

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amaditalks · 8 months

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Gaslighting isn’t the same as lying.

Gaslighting also isn’t lying a lot, or lying and deflecting the lying by shaming the victim for not believing the lie.

Gaslighting is a long con. It is a practice of ongoing emotional/mental abuse, that doesn’t just involve lying, but manipulating or altering someone’s reality in order to make them question both the truth, and more importantly, question their own mental and cognitive wellbeing.

The reason that it’s called gaslighting is because the tactic was demonstrated in a 1944 film called “Gaslight” starring Ingrid Bergman. In the film, Bergman‘s character’s husband tries to make her have a mental breakdown.

He tells her that she is having blackouts (she’s not) and doing things that she didn’t do.

He steals things from her, and tells her that she lost them herself.

He makes noises in the attic of the house, then tells her that he wasn’t in the house at all.

He steals things from other people, puts them where she will find them, and then tells her that she stole them.

He puts his pocket watch in her purse and tells her that she stole it from him.

He isolates her from the world by telling her that her behavior is too erratic to be safe near others.

He encourages their housemaid to be cruel to her and to repeat his lies about her behavior.

And, to apply the title, he repeatedly causes the gas lighting (it’s set in 1875) in her bedroom to go dim, then comes into the room, and when she says that the lighting is dim, he says, no, it’s perfectly fine.

It goes well beyond just lying. Gaslighting is a setup to make the victim so confused that they’re unable to trust themselves and their own perceptions of the world around them or even themselves.

It’s beyond time to stop calling run of the mill dishonesty gaslighting.

#gaslighting #lying isn’t gaslighting #misused #dishonesty #emotional abuse #abuse #tw abuse

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kaijuposting · 10 months

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"Saw traps for people with moral OCD" is a phrase that has embedded myself into my brain because, well, Saw traps for people with moral OCD are everywhere.

Stuff that basically amounts to...

"You have to listen to my opinions on [issue], or else you don't care about [issue]. (Constantly talks about how people like you are the absolute worst.)"

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me tear you down over things you can't control or you're a bad person."

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me vent to you whenever and however I want or else you're a bad person."

"If you enjoy X media/trope, you just hate Y people."

"Everyone knows that X thing is harmful/hateful; if you engaged in it, it's just because you were fine with perpetuating hate/harm."

"You should have just known better/should know this already!"

This thread over here talks about the inherent issues of putting this kind of stuff out there. The TL;DR is that it really only works on people who are mentally unwell and have poor boundaries, while just pissing off everyone else. It really doesn't matter if you're technically correct; you're still attacking people, and that means they're not wrong to block you.

I think that many of these Saw traps are created when people effectively write posts directed toward people who don't want to help, rather than the ones who do. Like, if you catch yourself writing an angry, shame-laden post, ask yourself: who are you writing it for and what are the odds you're going to change their minds? If your mental image is some smug fuck or angry reactionary, you're writing for the wrong person. Write for the person who's curious, who's willing to learn.

Also? Work on figuring out how to transmute negative feelings into positive, encouraging rhetoric. EG:

"Why is there no X positivity?" -> "Let's hear it for X!"

"No one cares about Y problem!" -> "Hey, we need more recognition of Y problem" or "I haven't seen many people talking about Y problem, so here's some info on what's up."

"If you don't reblog this, you don't care about [group]" -> "Please reblog this, it would mean a lot for us [group]."

And if you're really super duper frustrated and want to vent with a lot of nasty words and sentiments? Consider taking it to a private vent channel or a journal or somewhere that a stranger with moral OCD/scrupulosity isn't likely to run across it.

Remember, most people don't want to hurt anyone. More people are ignorant than malicious. People naturally want to do the right thing, so if you feel like you have to guilt them or shame them into it, there's probably a fundamental communication issue somewhere, or they simply lack the context to understand why what you're saying is so important.

#moral ocd #mental health #mental illness #ableism #scrupulosity #scrupulosity ocd #abuse #emotional abuse #communication

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lostmf · 4 months

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By 11 shit was already fucked up

So I would be still 5 I guess

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becomingvecna · 5 months

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#my writing

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petitprincess1 · 4 months

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TW: Abuse and Emotional Manipulation!

This scene makes me feel genuinely ill. The VAs do a fantastic job though.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #angel dust #hazbin hotel angel dust #tw abuse #tw emotional manipulation #video

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selfhealingmoments · 5 months

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#toxic #toxicity #toxic people #toxic relationship #people pleaser #emotional abuse #childhood trauma #dysfunctional family #inspirational quotes #self help #positivity #new beginnings #new life #self improvement #mental health #self reflection #be yourself #letting go #life lessons

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u3pxx · 4 months

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thinking about my gavin parents earlier. specifically, karsten gavin and the way he loves klavier.

HI SORRY. and sorry for any mistakes on the german, google translate can only take me so far DFGHDJFDGHD this was my original thought earlier that i typed into my pc during class DSFGHD

Karsten shows affection the only way he knows how (buying expensive lavish gifts) Karsten, being an absent father in many ways, doesn't pay much attention to his children's interests. Klavier becomes interested in music and wants a guitar for Christmas, he mentions this several times to Karsten as he works, over dinner, every moment he can get, really. Karsten and Karen have a fight 2 weeks before Christmas that leaves them very cold towards each other, Karin throws herself into social events/parties while Karsten flies to another place to focus on his work. The fight and their absence affect Klavier deeply, more than Kristoph who is growing more used to this. Karsten gifts Klavier an expensive piano, Klavier is disappointed and his face starts to show it. Karsten grows frustrated at this and starts to ramble “Music, right, liebchen? Didn’t you say you wanted to play?” “Well, ja, but… I wanted a…” Karsten starts frowning. “Klavier, do you have any idea how expensive this is? You don’t like it? Fine then, fine. Do you want me to throw my gift away for you, is that it?” “Of course not, papa. Klavier, what do we say?” Kristoph chimes in and nudges Klavier, whose eyes are starting to water. “[Thank you, father.]” “Oh there he is. Come, come.”

i just. thinking about piece of shit extraordinaire karsten gavin who only knows how to make problems go away with material things

i love drawing bc it compensates for the fact that i can't write DFGHDJ

#ace attorney #klavier gavin #kristoph gavin #gavin parents #karsten gavin #den's ocs tag #described #id in alt text #lemme know if i should tag this with any content warnings #sunnysideattorney #sunnysidedoodles #cw emotional abuse

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tangledinink · 6 months

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hey, it's that rat and his daughter again!

✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]

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a-sip-of-milo · 8 months

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Things people label as abuse when it's done to a partner that parents somehow get away with

Hitting/spanking. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but fair discipline when it's a child.

No privacy (no privacy = going through their phone, tracking their location, attending therapy appointments, etc.). Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but good parenting when it's a teenager.

Emotional neglect. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but "not the parents' fault" when it's a child.

Overworking them. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but earning their keep when it's a child.

Doing things to purposely make them cry. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but hilarious when it's a kid.

Breaking their stuff/deleting video game progress. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but fair discipline when it's a child.

Forcing affection when they don't want to. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but teaching them good manners when it's a child.

Locking them in a room that they can't escape. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but "they've got to learn one way or another" if it's a child.

Expecting them to suppress their emotions. Abusive/toxic if it's a partner but teaching them to be mature if it's a child.

Getting angry when they ask a question/challenge your logic/need clarification. Abusive/toxic if it's a partner but teaching them to not talk back if it's a child.

Not letting them eat anything unless it's what you put in front of them (that includes not letting them get anything for themselves). Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but teaching them to be grateful if it's a child.

If you've ever labeled any of these things as abuse when an adult opens up about their experiences but will defend parents who do the same thing, you need to reevaluate yourself.

DNI: Narcissistic/Borderline/Anti-social/Histrionic abuse believers.

#tw abuse #parental abuse #toxic parents #npd safe #cluster b safe #emotional abuse #physical abuse #mental abuse #aspd safe #hpd safe

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aintnopartylikeaprideparty · 5 months

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as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

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buggachat · 5 months

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(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?

#ml s5 spoilers #tbh half the time when thinking about it I forget that gabriel asked her to do it at all #because it just feels like such a Marinette™ thing to do to me lol #to be fair maybe I'm downplaying it? I do think Gabriel's plea struck some emotional chord with her too and helped push her that direction #but again I. totally believe she'd do it either way #and I do strongly believe that her decision is moreso ''I don't want to hurt Adrien'' than it is ''I want to honor Gabriel's final wish''#she loves to avoid verbal/emotional problems and hoooo boy idk a worse verbal/emotion problem than #telling your boyfriend that his entire life is a lie and that he's not entirely human and that he was abused and controlled and puppeteered #all his life and also that his father was a terrorist and that she saw his mom's corpse in the basement #I mean. I don't think I'd have the emotional maturity to break that to someone either and I'm not.... FOURTEEN.... LOL

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witchyykitten · 1 year

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everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent

but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should

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