tw: Examples of reblog bait/people trying to guilt others into reblogging stuff. I am not actually saying the things below, they're just examples that I have seen.

I fucking hate when people say stuff like this. Especially when it's on a generally good post with valuable information. On the one hand I want to share that information because it could genuinely help someone; on the other, I don't want to spread this type of guilt-tripping and shaming and potentially trigger someone else like me. It's a lose-lose situation. No matter what I do, I am going to feel guilty. No matter what I do, I will feel like a terrible person. It sucks and I just wish people would stop doing this. I know it's shocking, but it is actually possible to make an important and useful post without guilting everyone that sees it into sharing.

Look, this is what moral OCD is like for me:

I walk past a piece of paper. I don’t pick it up because I had a long day at work and it’s very cold outside. This then becomes my internal monologue:

I didn’t pick up that piece of paper, I should have. Don’t I care about the environment? It’s not my trash, I shouldn’t have to pick it up. But also that’s how these things happen right? We place the blame on others as our environment degrades. It was just a piece of paper, it’s not like it can do that much damage. But also how do I know: I’m not an environmental expert. Maybe stray paper scraps are killing the frogs. You’re literally killing the frogs. You should look up how many frogs die a year so you know how shitty you are-No stop it.

I care about the environment, and I recycle and I joined green activism movements but is that enough? I could be doing more. I should be doing more. I should donate my entire check to charity. But isn’t it self serving to think that my one check could help that much? Do I really think I’m that important, how self entitled and-no stop it, reset! You are obsessing and if you fall for it, you will not eat dinner. Let it go.

Okay it’s just a piece of paper. It’s okay you skipped it this once: it could have had something dangerous on it. Yeah that makes sense. But also, that means I’m putting my own safety over trying to help the environment, which is very selfish of me. I’m just one shitty person: god how could I be so self absorbed. I should have picked up the piece of paper. I’m so selfish, and shitty and-no, no, stop it! This is not helpful. It’s fine.

It’s been a long day and I’m cold, that’s not a crime- no that’s being selfish again, you’re making excuses. You’re just a lazy piece of shit who doesn’t care about others, and selfish and God the fact you’re thinking this much about one piece of paper shows how selfish you are, you care more about if you’re a good person than anything else, you’re a piece of shit, you’re a piece of shit, YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT.

I get home and open up Tumblr. The first post I see says “if you don’t reblog this post about the environment you’re as complicit as an oil billionaire.” I close my computer and resign myself to looking up the state frog populations until I go to bed.

I don’t eat dinner.

The amount of frogs that die a year is somewhere from 200 million to over 1 billion.

"Saw traps for people with moral OCD" is a phrase that has embedded myself into my brain because, well, Saw traps for people with moral OCD are everywhere.

Stuff that basically amounts to...

"You have to listen to my opinions on [issue], or else you don't care about [issue]. (Constantly talks about how people like you are the absolute worst.)"

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me tear you down over things you can't control or you're a bad person."

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me vent to you whenever and however I want or else you're a bad person."

"If you enjoy X media/trope, you just hate Y people."

"Everyone knows that X thing is harmful/hateful; if you engaged in it, it's just because you were fine with perpetuating hate/harm."

"You should have just known better/should know this already!"

This thread over here talks about the inherent issues of putting this kind of stuff out there. The TL;DR is that it really only works on people who are mentally unwell and have poor boundaries, while just pissing off everyone else. It really doesn't matter if you're technically correct; you're still attacking people, and that means they're not wrong to block you.

I think that many of these Saw traps are created when people effectively write posts directed toward people who don't want to help, rather than the ones who do. Like, if you catch yourself writing an angry, shame-laden post, ask yourself: who are you writing it for and what are the odds you're going to change their minds? If your mental image is some smug fuck or angry reactionary, you're writing for the wrong person. Write for the person who's curious, who's willing to learn.

Also? Work on figuring out how to transmute negative feelings into positive, encouraging rhetoric. EG:

"Why is there no X positivity?" -> "Let's hear it for X!"

"No one cares about Y problem!" -> "Hey, we need more recognition of Y problem" or "I haven't seen many people talking about Y problem, so here's some info on what's up."

"If you don't reblog this, you don't care about [group]" -> "Please reblog this, it would mean a lot for us [group]."

And if you're really super duper frustrated and want to vent with a lot of nasty words and sentiments? Consider taking it to a private vent channel or a journal or somewhere that a stranger with moral OCD/scrupulosity isn't likely to run across it.

Remember, most people don't want to hurt anyone. More people are ignorant than malicious. People naturally want to do the right thing, so if you feel like you have to guilt them or shame them into it, there's probably a fundamental communication issue somewhere, or they simply lack the context to understand why what you're saying is so important.

me: *is jokingly mean to my friend*

friend: *jokingly pretends to be hurt*

me:

tumblr was designed in a lab to be a personal purgatory for ppl with moral ocd i think

dysphoria vs a dubious strategic advantage in an implausible revolutionary scenario

I have unfortunately begun to say "get out of my brain office!" aloud to dismiss intrusive thoughts... it's effective but it's an odd thing for other people to overhear

I love tumblr but it is seriously the worst fucking platform for OCD like god can’t go on here without seeing “friendly reminder you’re a bad person if you do x” or smth similar

Here's a tiny hammer to beat the cop in your brain

i promise you'll feel better once you start to let go of the idea of being a good/bad person and just focus on doing your best to put more good into this world than bad.

if there's anything you've learned from my blog(s), it's that we can't put humans into neat little boxes. you're going to do marvelous things and save lives without even realizing it. you're going to fuck up terribly and leave a scar on someone, maybe forever. because we all do. you are not terribly or wonderfully unique in regards to that - but you are terribly and wonderfully unique in how irreplaceable your impact on someone else is.

for better or worse, no one else has the exact same knowledge, feelings, thoughts, worldview, support, experiences, and memories as you. you are the only person on this earth capable of wielding all that you are and directing it into creating a better world for all of us. all you can reasonably do is be aware of how your thoughts guide your actions, and what you choose to do. and that is far from the same thing as being utterly consumed by it.

and don't get too deep about it. you'd be surprised at how far just being authentically you and taking care of yourself can go. sometimes all you need to do for someone else is exist.

scrupulosity and an OCD obsession with morality is so much more than just wanting to be a good person.

yes, I want to be a good person. but for me, that comes along with:

an unreachably high moral standard

an unshakeable guilt complex

a chronic feeling of “what have I done wrong?”

constant flashbacks to “shame memories”

tying myself up in knots over making the right decision (even over the little things)

and sometimes… this obsession with being a good person actually prevents me from being as good a person as I would be otherwise (e.g it can make me come across as selfish and not compassionate)

Just musings on my OCD and the idea of being ripped away from yourself by your brain.

All people with ocd have my love but a special shout out to my fellow queer ocd havers whose brain decided to be an obsessive fundamentalist Christian about it.

you're immune from ALL reblog bait now

To all my friends with Moral OCD/Scrupulosity: people do not mean “inundate yourself with the most graphic news videos you can find for all hours of the day” when they say “don’t look away” in the context of issues like war, genocide, and disasters, but rather “be aware of what’s going on and do what you can, even if it’s something small”. “Being aware” means checking in on an issue and potential ways that people can help those affected, not forcing yourself to compulsively watch as many videos of people dying as you can. Doing this is, in fact, a compulsion, and your brain will keep pushing you to watch more graphic death videos. Digital self-harm helps no one, and you don’t have to absorb every instance of individual suffering to have an awareness of it being an ongoing problem. Hell, you can take a break from checking the news for a bit if you find yourself spiraling and you can always catch up on it again once you are in the headspace to do so. Understanding how dire a situation is can be very important, but you can’t remove suffering and death from the world by compulsively looking at it. Your brain is lying to you, and it is much more productive to look for little ways that you can help people.

If you donate money to NGOs, know that every cent counts. If you are not financially well off and can only donate a small amount, that is still a wonderful thing. Forcing yourself into a place of financial risk (like risking eviction or forgoing food or medical care) to feel like you’re “really” donating “enough” is an OCD compulsion. OCD is taking advantage of the discomfort and sorrow that we feel when something big and horrific is happening and there is little that we can do, and we have to sit with some of that discomfort and avoid falling into patterns of self-harm like what I described above in an attempt to escape from it. If you’re feeling hopeless and not caring for yourself, then you can’t help people at all! No one can single-handedly save the world, but we can do little things to make it that much less unpleasant.

Be aware and be helpful, but take care of yourself, too.

me when I randomly remember a small mistake I made ten plus years ago

tumblr is to moral ocd what tiktok is to adhd and post

I feel like a many-headed hydra monk of contradictory but all-encompassing self-criticism is a pretty good representation of moral OCD.