my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope

Patrick approves of our new apartment!

I was trying to find my original post on this but tumblr’s search is once again not working so!

With BPD (or any other personality disorder honestly), a lot of the time we hold ourselves to impossible standards. We don’t allow ourselves any room for a mistake, bad day or anything like that. We focus so much on trying to recover or whatever else that we forget that we’re human!

Even people without BPD (or another personality disorder) have bad days. They make mistakes. They lash out. Expecting ourselves to never do these things is beyond unreasonable.

And I’m not saying we shouldn’t try and do better and I’m not saying we shouldn’t hold ourselves accountable. But these things happen and we aren’t a failure when they do. We aren’t bad people if we mess up. We aren’t losing all our progress if we slip up. We’re human. We don’t need to go on a spiral and split on ourselves. It’s impossible to be perfect all the time and holding ourselves to unreasonable standards is setting ourselves up for failure.

Give yourself more patience, compassion and understanding. You deserve it.

If you’re someone without a personality disorder trying to defend people with personality disorders, you get told that you’ve been manipulated and brainwashed and can’t be trusted.

If you’re someone with a personality disorder trying to defend yourself, you get told that you’re manipulative and dangerous and can’t be trusted.

There really is no way for us to win.

I’m an idiot

💀💀💀

Nobody ever understands the affects of reactive abuse until they've experienced it themselves.

It shows particularly well when people would rather blame a child for reacting rather than the adult for abusing them in the first place.

When I was fourteen, my parents held me down to my bed, locked my window so I couldn't escape, took everything they knew I loved away from me (including contact with my grandmother, all my books, my music, all my diaries, etc.) and my step dad threatened to sit in the corner of my room and watch me for the entire night if I tried to escape. All while my three younger siblings watched me.

As a result, I had my first panic attack. It led me to attempting to break my window, smashing my mirror, becoming physically violent towards either of my parents when they attempted to come into my room, and nearly overdosing later that night after everyone had gone to bed.

For years, people ignored what I had gone through to get to that point. My parents had crafted such an elaborate story that painted themselves as the victims of my terrible abuse that nobody thought to question how I reached that point. Not the police. Not my school. Not even over half of my own family believed me. The extent of my suicidal ideations nearly put me in hospital multiple times over the following years, even succeeding once.

Reacting to abuse in this way is a cry for help. It's the equivalent of self-harm in my book, except directed towards others. That's not to say that it's okay, but more people seriously need to start looking at the bigger picture before making assumptions.

This blog is safe for people with NPD, BPD, HPD and ASPD.

You're valid if you broke the cycle by learning to be a good parent to your kids.

You're valid if you broke the cycle by choosing not to become a parent.

hey this is a little random but i just wanted to say i love your blog so much! I have NPD and BPD and i deal with so much ableism every freaking day that it makes me start thinking i'm actually abusive or a horrible person to be around. scrolling through your page makes me feel so much better about myself and accept myself for the things i cannot control. i don't know how many trolls you deal with on a daily basis but i wanted to let you know that what you do means so much to me and so many others <3

I'm sorry i'm so late but thank you for your ask. it means a lot <3

That said, I did find this playlist on Spotify.

Soooo it’s either BPD results or “what is it like to love someone with npd”. This is just Spotify.

And you wonder why people with npd struggle to recover.

Being on the internet with OCD is like “I want to post a picture of my outfit because I look bomb but what if my full address and National Insurance number is written in the reflection of this random public bathroom mirror and I didn’t notice”

Sometimes our loved ones will be mad at us. Sometimes our fears will be true.

But being mad doesn’t mean someone no longer loves you!

Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes