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daddysuga101 · 3 years

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YANDERE DEKU X FEM READER!!!WARNINGS: rough smut

Living with yandere Deku only came with one rule. And it was to never leave the house. Ever.

At first it wasn't bad due to the sheer size of the house. But when days quickly turned into weeks and weeks almost just as quickly turned into months.

And you began longing to go outside again.

At this point in your relationship with Deku he trusted you, so you couldn't wrap your head around why he wouldn't let you outside.

Or rather you knew exactly why and it annoyed you.

'People wanna hurt you darling.'

Always that same damn excuse.

Any time you'd ask the green haired boy he'd just explain the danger you're in. And distract you with... other things.

But how dangerous could it actually be?

All you wanted was to be outside the walls of the house that started feeling like a prison was that so wrong?

This went on for about two months before you practically begged Deku to let you go outside.

And to your surprise reluctantly he agreed.

"Are you kidding?" You ask, he laughs at your jaw practically dropped onto the ground.

"I'm not. Consider it an early birthday gift." He says. You smile wide.

You were over the moon to say the least. He gave you the privilege of going to the grocery store with him every Sunday.

For being a quote on quote "good little girl for him"

You were glad he was okay with this. And even though to many grocery store shopping wasn't a big deal. To you it was exhilarating to the point you couldn't wait for Sundays’ to come.

Over time Deku began to feel more comfortable with new arrangement since he felt so trusting towards you.

So he got you car.

He taught you to drive under the condition that you'd only run arrons or took the dogs he had got for you months prior. To near by parks.

And of course you agreed and why wouldn't you.

A part of Deku didn't want to give you that much freedom how ever..the smile the took of your features were more than worth it.

"I'm giving you this cause I trust you my darling y/n." He says as he hands you your keys.

You smile.

"Thank you 'Zuku." You say, he nodded before grabbing your chin and making you look up at him.

"Do not make me regret it." He whispers, you nod.

"I won't, I promise." You say, he smiles and kisses you gently on the mouth.

"That's a good girl."

So how you ended up at some sweaty block party surrounded by people you had never seen in your life before was beyond you.

You had been invited by a boy you had befriended that worked at the store you went to constantly, and like the idiot you were...

You went.

The house smelt of booze and cigarettes.

There were people dry humping on the couch and here you were awkwardly standing in corners waiting for the guy that invited you to show.

“Yo! (Y/n)!” A voice said behind you.

Speak of the devil. The boy who invited you finally decided to show.

His name was Jay. He was a 6’0 tall blonde with a goofy smile. He was chill so he never gave you weird vibes. Which is the main reason you even came to this party.

“Hey Jay.” You say with a sweet smile. He smiled back.

“Hey gorgeous.” He says had he hugs you. You reluctantly hug him back before he turns to a crowed of people chatting across the room from us.

“Guys this is that girl I was telling y’all about. Hot as hell ain’t she?” Jay said, you chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh hell yeah. So what’s the deal y’all fucking or what?” One of the guys ask, your eyes widened at his question.

“Excuse me?” You ask,

“Just kidding baby chill. We gonna play beer pong you guys coming?”

“Nah we’ll hang back.” Jay says.

“I’m sorry about them. That’s was uncalled for.” He says, you shake your head.

“Nah it’s fine.” You say, he nods at you.

“You sure?” He asks, you nod again.

“Alright then, why don’t you and I go smoke in the back. I’m starting to get suffocated by all these people.” He says, you chuckled.

“Couldn’t agree more.” You say following him to the back.

He pulled a cigarette out and started smoking before handing it to you.

“It’s a little strong.” He warned.

“I’ll be fine.” you say as you bring it to your lips for a hit.

Deku smoked a bunch and when he did while you were in the room he’d almost always shot gun you with whatever he was smoking. So you were used to it.

—

About an hour in your were high as hell and so was he.

“I feel good as fuck.” You say,

“Yeah?” He asked, you nod before he walked closer to you.

“So tell me (y/n), you got a man?” He asks, you shrug.

“I don’t know anymore. I mean he says he loves me but... I don’t know. I just wish he was straightforward.” You say sadly.

“If I was with you I’d never make you feel like that you know...” He says before he leans into you.

“Whoa what are you doing?”

“You seriously telling me you don’t wanna have sex?”

“Yes I am what the hell is your deal?” You ask,

“Don’t be bitch.” He says before kissing you forcefully, you push him away before you noticed his was thrown against the wall by some unseen force.

You were confused to say the least. What the hell just happened.

“Y/n.” A deep, painfully familiar voice said, you gulped quietly before turning around to face him.

“Deku.” You whispered breathlessly.

“Hello beautiful.” He says.

Deku dragged you back to the house furious as all hell ranting about how he knew he couldn’t trust you with a car. And how you absolutely betrayed his trust.

"Ouch Deku! Your hurting me!" You shout as you’re dragged to the house by your forearm, before your back is slammed against the front door.

You groan in pain before his head goes in the crook of you neck groaning slightly.

"What's with you? Why do you constantly run away from me?" He whispers almost sounding like his hearts' been ripped out his chest.

"Deku-."

"I've given you everything you could possibly ever want and it's still not enough. You still don't love me enough." He says, you shake your head.

"It's not you it's the house I hate being there that's why I-."

"THAT HOUSE KEEPS YOU FUCKING SAFE!" He shouts in your face, you slap him hard across the fact and he groans.

"Don't fucking yell at me." You say seriously, he laughed quietly before breaking out into a fit of laughter as he opened the door and shut it behind the two of you.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear baby. I see the issue now." He says throwing his coat on the coach.

"You defy me cause I've been to soft on you. Yes that's right, every time you fuck up I give you a slap on the wrist."

"But you've taken advantage of my kindness."

"I think it's time (y/n), for you to get properly punished tonight." He says,

He unbuckled his jeans as you watched with wide eyed as he pulled the belt from the loops.

"Deku please."

"Bend over on the couch I'm gonna break that damn attitude of yours right here right now." He said, you wanted to protest but could find it in you so you did as he said.

You felt him push you skirt up and rub his hand up and down your stocking covered ass.

"Imma hit you 20 times. If you don't count properly each time I'll restart. If you cry I restart. You beg me to stop I'll restart am I clear?" He asked, you nod whimpering slight.

"What a pretty little thing." He whispered running his hands down your body. before bringing his hand down roughly.

When he hit you you wanted to burst into tears. He hit you like he didn't care. Like he wanted you to hurt.

Damnit.

Why did this hurt your heart more than your body.

"One." You said with a straight voice as the second hit came.

This continued until his last hit which was the most cruel.

"20." You say lastly, your teeth gritting with anger. You heard him sigh before kissing your bruised ass.

"I'm sorry." He says,

"I didn't wanna do that but you left me no choice. You've forgotten yourself baby. So lemme remind you who exactly owns you." He says before ripping a hole in the crotch of your stockings.

You groaned as he cupped your clothed pussy in his hand as felt you up. He chuckled.

"You're so wet from a spanking? Jesus, what kind of masochist brat are you?" He asked before pushing your panties to the side and putting a finger inside.

You whined.

"Deku." You moaned quietly as his fingers pumped inside of you, he bit his lip.

"You get to fuck my fingers or my cock tonight, your choice." He says in your ear.

You feel your face burning from the embarrassment.

He was gonna make you beg for his dick. You could always be stubborn and say you want his fingers but you both knew that would be a lie.

"Just...just fuck me Izuku. God just fuck me." You whine.

He groaned before spitting on his hand and rubbing the clear liquid on his cock.

"I would've prepped you better for my dick but you've been such a bitch lately, I don't think you deserved any prep. Hope you can take it okay." He says with the most condescending tone ever.

"I'm sure I'll be fine." You retorted.

"Tch." He says before pushing himself in you all at once causing you to gasp.

"Oh my god!" You say in shock,

"I thought you could handle it baby? What? Don't tell me you're already fucked out this early in." He says as he fucks you mercilessly.

"What no come back?" He asks.

All sass and sarcasm was lost to you as he drilled you into the couch.

"You like that huh bitch?" He asked, you nodded rapidly.

He kept his thrusts steady before randomly pulling out. You whimpered before he spun you around so you were now on your back.

He kissed you roughly kissing down your neck and sucking a hickey onto the top of your breast, before pulling away to look you in the eyes as he rubbed his cock against your opening.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He whispered, you swallowed hard.

“I belong to no one.” You say stubbornly.

He smiled wide before pushing himself back in.

“God this is why I love you.” He says, you whimper as he drills into you mercilessly.

“I’ll never find another girl like you. You’re the only one for me.” He says, you feel tears sting your eyes as he continues his fucking on your body.

“I wanna cum.” You say, he nods.

“Do it baby.” He says reaching done to play with your clit, sending you over the edge, he bit his lip at the feeling of your insides squeezed around him causing him to finish a few minutes after.

After a bit he pulled out and chuckled as he watched his cum pour out of you.

“I stuffed you pretty good baby, were you tryna milk me dry?” He asks, you felt your face get hot.

The dirty way he spoke mixed with the feeling of his cum leaking out of you was embarrassing to say the least.

“Deku.” You whisper,

“Yeah?” He says as he kisses all over the bruises he left in your body. No matter how rough he was with you he always made you feel so loved after.

“I appreciate your protection and making me feel...good. But I should be honest with you here and now....”

“If your goal is to own me then I’m sorry. Nobody owns me. You’ll just have to live with that.” You say, he sighs deeply putting his head in the crook of your neck.

“That’s what I love about you. I could kill you if I wanted. A quirkless little girl like you. I could do anything I wanted to you. But you still don’t obey me.”

“God your stubbornness is as infuriating as it is arousing.” He whispers before kissing your cheek.

“I love you.” He says, it’s almost too genuine. There’s no condescending undertone in his words he’s being 100% honest.

“I love you too.” You say just as honestly,

Even after everything the feelings you felt for him were very real.

And even though you put on a brave face with him. A part of you knew he did in fact own a part of you.

A part that made you unwilling to leave him despite the screaming, the yelling.

Despite the constant sex that was hard on your body.

Despite his harsh words towards you.

Despite how many times you slapped him.

You always found yourself back in his bed.

#izuku smut #midoriya smut #deku smut #yandere deku #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #bakugou smut #dabi x reader #bnha smut #fanfic #yandere shigaraki

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janetbrown711 · 3 years

Note

"how do you think this ends?"

Despite Lena’s hopes and dreams that when the morning came everything would feel as right in the world as it had when the little family had fallen asleep, it wasn’t true. When she awoke (for whatever reason, she was the first), she walked out of the room and was immediately surrounded by maids and servants pestering her with their endless questions. Of course, she knew why they were asking, she was supposed to be dead.

She did her best to explain the situation and told them that her mother had died in an avalanche at Acme Falls. This, however, made the situation worse, as then officials and advisors soon got word and started to try and plan things out with her, and Lena wanted none of it. It was early- hell, she was still in her nightgown and robe. She just wanted to take an early stroll around her home, but nope.

Then again, what did she expect? Come back from the dead and people are going to have questions.

Still. Being swarmed with questions and having plans and ideas thrown in her face that early was too much. She yearned to return to bed, but by the time she successfully convinced them to stop, it was likely too late.

So instead, she went to the kitchen and began to chop up some fruit, a skill she had gotten quite good at over the past year. She couldn’t do a lot, so she liked to help Helloise and Doctor Scratchnsniff prepare food, usually while they talked about things. Now all Lena could think of as she chopped was that of her offer.

She had written a letter last night asking for their assistance. In all honesty, she was ashamed. She thought returning home would do a lot to heal everything they went through over the past year, but Dot’s nightmare quickly told her otherwise. Because of her nativity, she had to write a letter offering and asking them to come to the palace to be the royal psychologist and counselor not just for Dot, but likely Wakko and perhaps even Yakko too. Goodness knows all of her kids must’ve been through hell under the care of her mother.

Lena paused and placed a hand on her cheek. She sighed.

Lena continued cutting fruit.

She hoped they were hungry- she was making a lot- goodness.

Well- she knew Wakko would be anyway. Her poor boy... he was so light to carry. Angelina must’ve locked him in the tower before the Wishing Star, and probably didn’t feed him.

Her mother deserved far, far worse than death.

But it was what needed to be done. She didn’t regret it. Not one bit.

Hopefully, they’d use all this food for the picnic they’d be having-

It was still winter. Snow was outside. They couldn’t have a picnic.

No. They’d just have one inside. It’s what Wakko wanted- who was she to take that away from him?

She continued to cut, despite realizing she lost count of how many kiwis, strawberries, and star fruit she had sliced by now.

“Mom?” Wakko came out of nowhere, startling Lena and she cut her finger.

“Gah- Jesus Wakko, you can’t sneak up on me like that,” She quickly began to suck on it and look for a towel.

Wakko froze, dead in his tracks.

“I-i’m sorry, I-i didn’t mean to- I-i-” He stumbled over his apology.

“It’s alright, Wakko, I’m not-” But by the time Lena said that, he had run out of the kitchen.

“Dammit, Lena, now look at what you’ve done,” She muttered to herself, wrapping a rag around her finger and running off to go find Wakko.

Day one and she was already screwing up.

“Wakko? Where are you?” She called, looking under hall decor, behind curtains, and in almost every room she walked by.

“Wakko, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that,” She said, hearing sniffles come out of one bedroom. Lena knocked on the door softly.

“Wakko?” She said.

“I-i said I’m sorry, go away!” He shouted back.

“Wakko, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize, it was I who snapped at you,” She placed her hand that didn’t have a towel around it against the door.

“Go away! I only get people hurt,” He cried more.

“Wakko honey, no,” Lena wanted to go in, but the door was locked.

“Wakko, whatever your grandmother told you, she was wrong. You’re such a wonderful kid- energetic, compassionate, brave, and you give the best hugs,” She countered his statement. The prince paused.

“B-but it’s my fault D-dot died... they were aiming for me,” He countered, his words becoming mumbled.

“Wakko, it’s nobody’s fault but your grandmother and she’s already paid the price,” She said.

“She can’t hurt you anymore... so please... come out? I promise I’m okay.”

Wakko was quiet. Lena bit her lip.

“If you come out you can have a snack in the kitchen,” She said. Wakko must’ve responded positively to that because before she knew it there were shuffling noises, and he opened the door, though unable to make eye contact with his mother.

“I’m hungry,” he said.

“I know honey, let’s get you some food and water- I bet you’re dehydrated too, especially after all that crying,” Lena said, offering her hand. Wakko took it.

“Yeah,” was all he said. Lena gave his hand a comforting squeeze as they made their way back. Once there, she lifted him on the counter and started slicing more fruit, everything from apples to bananas, and handing them to him once finished. He ate slowly, but it seemed to be doing him a lot of good, as his mood increased dramatically once he got some food in his system.

“You feeling better?” She asked him. Wakko nodded. “Good,” Lena smiled and ruffled his fur a little. Lena always found it funny how he often liked to sleep with his red hat on, but who was she to judge.

“Now honey, I want to make things very clear with you: everything your grandmother ever told you or made you feel is false okay? I don’t want you saying it, I don’t want you thinking it. You are so much more than she ever thought, understood?” She placed her hand on his cheek, stroking his face with her thumb. Wakko leaned into it, nodding.

“Okay,” he agreed. Lena smiled softly.

“It’s not gonna be easy to undo what she’s done... but we’re going to figure it out together, understood?” She said. Wakko nodded again, eating an apple slice.

“I haven’t told your siblings yet, but in roughly a week's time, the good doctor from Acme Falls is going to start working at the palace to help you three heal from the abuse my mother put you through. He’s an emotions doctor and he’ll help you feel better, does that sound like something you want?” She said, going back to cutting fruit.

“Okay,” Wakko nodded, his tail twitching curiously. “What about you?” he asked.

Lena paused. “What about me?”

“Will he be helping you?” Wakko asked innocently. Lena looked down at her hands, then at the 20 or so fruits she sliced this morning.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’m going to have a lot more responsibilities than what I’m used to in the upcoming days- I’ll likely be too busy.”

“But you should be okay too,” Wakko frowned, reminding Lena of how observant he could be.

“I’ll be okay Wakko- I promise,” She looked at him. He scanned her face a minute before either believing it or just dropping it and going back to his apple slices.

After a moment of more slicing and handing to Wakko, Lena spoke again.

“We’re going to be having a picnic today, just like you wanted,” She said. Wakko’s face lit up.

“Really?! Isn’t it snowy?” Wakko tilted his head.

“We’ll be having it inside, but I think that hardly makes a difference. What do you think?” Lena asked him.

“Okay,” he gave a toothy grin.

“Good,” Lena nodded. “How about you go and get dressed and get your siblings ready so we can do that soon, hm?”

“Okay,” He said, jumping off the countertop, and scurrying out of the kitchen.

Good. At least he was somewhat back to his old self. That meant there was hope after all. He was still a kid- he deserved to be happy and young while he could.

With a sigh, Lena began to get bags out and put the sliced fruit into separate bags as kitchen workers started to come in and began preparing their breakfast. Once Lena finished, she quickly apologized and got out of their way, explaining what was going to happen later with the picnic and all. They understood, and she left.

Now she was on her own again. And still in her nightgown- Lena really needed to get changed. Quickly she went back to her room and went to her closet to get dressed but her fingers hovered over her dresses. It had been so long since she wore something so fancy... Would it even feel right anymore?

Of course it would, she was born a princess, she was just being ridiculous... right?

Lena sighed and changed into her usual purple dress.

Today was going to be interesting.

.o0o.

And interesting it was. Home for less than 24 hours and already advisors and courtiers were already throwing piles upon piles of papers onto the poor queen-to-be. After signing about fifty billion documents, she finally got them to leave her alone, stating she made plans with her family she fully intended to keep. Thankfully, since she was in charge, nobody argued otherwise, though she knew they were likely doubtful. She did her best not to dwell.

By the time she did finally join her family in the room they were having their picnic, Wakko and Dot were already finished with their food and running around chasing each other, nearly running into Lena as she stepped in, though they both paused to give her a hug before running off again.

“My, they’re energetic today,” Lena chuckled as she joined her husband and Yakko on the pillows.

“Last night was probably the best sleep they’ve gotten in a while, nightmare or not,” Yakko shrugged, eating a piece of bread.

“I don’t doubt that... I slept pretty well last night too,” William said mostly to himself, looking at Wakko and Dot fondly.

“It really has been a year, hasn’t it?” Lena looked at Yakko, sadness in her eyes. “We’ve missed so much...”

“Not a whole lot... I mean- there were birthdays and stuff, but not... well...” Yakko was reluctant to finish the sentence, but Lena understood perfectly.

“Not much good, no?” Lena sighed. “I’ll never forgive her for this... for any of this.”

William and Yakko nodded supportively.

“But... Dot’s birthday was nice. I even managed to sneak a cake, and we all had a big sleepover, which was fun,” Yakko said. Lena smiled a little.

“That sounds lovely,” She said, sipping some tea.

“It was,” Yakko smiled at the memory.

“Oh! And we continued teaching Wakko to read,” Yakko remembered to tell.

“Really? Oh, that makes me so happy Yakko,” Lena side hugged him.

“We were so worried that Angelina wouldn’t let him and he’d forget,” William admitted.

“We had to do it behind her back, but I definitely think we made progress,” Yakko smiled, proud of himself, and rightfully so.

“I’m absolutely thrilled to hear it. You did a very good job taking care of your siblings in our absence Yakko, I’m very proud of you,” She kissed the top of his head.

“Thanks, mom,” Yakko teared up a little, and he quickly wiped it away. Lena didn’t comment, smiling softly.

“I’ll never forgive her for this.” The thought repeated in her mind. Anger returned.

“So, what took you so long?” Yakko asked.

“Paperwork. I’ve a coronation to set up by the end of the week after all,” She tried to laugh at the dread facing her.

“What about Grandma’s funeral?” Yakko asked.

“She isn’t going to be getting a funeral,” Lena said.

William blinked. “Are you sure that’s best?”

“Doesn’t every royal get a funeral? I mean- she even held one for you two...” Yakko said quietly.

“It’s unprecedented yes, and will perhaps even look bad to the people. However, once we explain everything that happened, I’m sure the people will be more than happy and most importantly on our side,” Lena sipped her tea.

“I guess that makes sense,” Yakko shrugged a little. William sighed.

“Lena darling, I know it must be difficult, but she was the queen after all-”

“She committed treason on the highest offense, William.” Lena snapped.

“I know, but well- hasn’t she already paid the price?” He said in a hushed tone, even though Yakko was still right there.

“It’s not that I think she deserves one, Lena. I’m just concerned that the people won’t understand and that it’ll cause them to turn against you,” He clarified softly, touching her arm. Lena swiped it away.

“I know full well what I’ve done,” She stated sharply. “And I don’t regret it. Let the people be upset if they will, they’ll get over it.”

Wakko and Dot stopped running by then, now looking at their parents, confused.

“Lena, darling, perhaps we should take this outside,” William sighed. Lena looked at her children before sighing and nodding.

“We’ll be back shortly... carry on until we get back,” Lena said, placing a hand on Yakko’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze before standing up and going. William followed in suit.

William stood by the door a moment, making sure they weren’t listening in. Lena paced across the hall, holding her arms.

“Well?” Lena asked him.

“Well, what?” William questioned her harshness.

“Well, what’ve you to say? You asked us to leave the room and we’ve left, so what’ve you to say?” She asked, digging her fingers into her arms.

“Lena darling... I just thought perhaps it wasn’t best to discuss such matters in front of the children,” William said softly. That didn’t make Lena feel any better.

“William, I’m tired of pretending I care about her,” Lena looked out a window. “I don’t want to waste a year of my life wearing all black and veiling myself pretending to weep over what I’ve lost. I can’t even fathom pretending to care a day,” She admitted.

“Of course,” He nodded slowly. The queen-to-be glanced at him.

“You aren’t going to argue otherwise?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Lena darling, I love you with all that I am. I trust your judgment. I’m simply trying to look out for you, that’s all,” William went to her.

“I love you too William,” She said. “I just... I know what I’ve done. I don’t regret it.”

“My dear... you keep saying that,” He took her hand and kissed it.

“It remains true,” Lena took a step away.

“Lena, who are you trying to convince?” He asked honestly.

“I... nobody,” She said quickly.

“Lena-”

“Nobody, William,” She closed her eyes and turned away from him.

She didn’t regret it. Her mother had to die, and by her hand.

There was no other way.

“There was no other way,” She said aloud.

“My love, you’re trembling,” William worried.

“She didn’t love me. She never did- even as a child. She shouted, she pulled the flowers out of my hair, she grabbed me, she blamed me for Father’s death, she... she hurt Wakko, she locked him up like some animal and then she... she killed Dot. She had to die, William,” She still didn’t look at him.

“I know darling...” He approached her slowly.

“A-and even if she had loved me at one point... if she brushed my hair, or sat with me in portraits, or picked out a dress she saw me admiring, it doesn’t matter. She killed our baby girl... she had to die,” Lena looked him in the eyes, though the sympathy was almost too much for her.

“My love, I know... What you did was incredibly difficult,” William said, wiping a stray tear from her face.

“Why though? Why was it difficult? After all that she did to our children, it should’ve been easy,” Lena argued.

“Lena, I do not know,” He sighed, stroking her face with his hand softly. “I’m not a psychologist or anything of the like... but I assume it’s because- well... she was your mother.”

“Hardly...” Lena muttered to herself.

“Despite everything, she still was. You can’t deny that,” He said. “And despite everything, you’ve always been slow to retaliation, so of course it’s taking a while to process what you’ve done.”

“I thought you said you weren’t a psychologist,” Lena joked a little. William chuckled a little.

“I’m not dear... though perhaps you really should take up Scratchnsniff’s offer,” William said.

“I wrote for him last night. He’ll do the children lots of good,” She said.

“That’s not what I meant,” William gave her a look.

Lena paused, sincerely thinking about it.

“I’ll be woefully busy... I’ll hardly have the time,” Lena said.

“We’ll make the time,” He countered.

“William- I just... I don’t know...” She turned away.

“Lena... please? I worry about you,” William held one of her hands in his and gave it a squeeze. Lena said nothing.

“My dear, you deserve to be at peace. Ever since I met you you were burdened by your mother’s actions, and now that she’s gone, you can finally find peace,” He said with a small smile. She could hardly look at him now.

She was an adult. Almost queen. She should be able to handle this on her own.

“If not for yourself, then can you at least do it for them? For...me?” He pleaded quietly.

Lena looked at the door a long moment, practically seeing her children leaning up against it (which she knew they likely were).

“William I don’t know if I can find peace...” She whispered.

“Can’t we at least give it a try, my love?” He whispered back. She looked at him. His eyes... those warm, dark, familiar eyes had brought her so much love and comfort over the years. So much love and worry...

Lena knew she’d do anything for him.

“I can try,” She nodded slowly.

“Really?” He smiled a little.

“I’d walk through hell and back for you, my love,” Lena placed a soft hand on his cheek. “I think I’ll be able to believe in myself a little for you too.”

“Thank you,” He kissed her wrist before pulling her in for an actual kiss, which she gladly returned.

However, the kiss didn’t last too long before a chorus of voices behind the door grew louder and before they knew it, the door opened, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot spilling out with it.

“Darn it Dot- you got us caught,” Yakko shook his head.

“Haha... hi,” Dot sheeped. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Mind telling me why you were listening in to what was supposed to be a private, adult conversation?” She teased, helping them up and off each other.

“Uh... curiosity?” Wakko shrugged. Lena laughed.

“Can’t deny that I suppose,” She ruffled his fur. Wakko smiled up at her with his tongue sticking out. She missed that smile.

“Well... the day isn’t over yet... what do you three want to do?” She asked.

“Can we hear a story?” Dot perked up and asked.

“Yeah! A story!” Wakko agreed. Yakko snorted, giving his silent agreement.

“It’s nowhere near bedtime,” William said. “What are we going to do then?”

“We can handle two stories,” Dot rolled her eyes. William chuckled.

“That you can... that you can,” He said, stroking his mustache.

“How about this: I’ll tell you a bedtime story if you’ll help me out with this one, hm?” He offered, winking at Lena to boast his cleverness. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Okay!” The younger warner siblings said in agreement.

“But first we have to clean all this up- can’t be leaving everything out like this,” Lena remarked, going back into their picnic room. Quickly, the children ran in and began picking up any toys they had brought in, folding blankets, and putting back pillows where they belonged, while Lena and William dealt with the food.

“Quite the plethora of fruit you prepared for us this morning,” Willaim commented as he cleaned.

“I do it when I’m stressed,” She shrugged. “You know this- you were there.”

“I know,” he teased. “They were very good.”

“I didn’t grow them,” Lena rolled her eyes, teasing him right back.

“It’s our garden. I think we ought to have some claim,” He shrugged. Lena rolled her eyes again.

“You say that like we don’t get most of our fruits from the farms-”

“Actually, we get our apples and citrus from the farms. The starfruit and berries were from the garden,” Yakko snuck up from behind, folding a blanket.

“Who’s side are you on?” Lena gave him a look. Yakko laughed.

“Checkmate,” William grinned.

“I hate you,” She snorted, putting the bread into a bag as Yakko disappeared to put the blanket away.

“You love me,” William elbowed her lightly. Lena chuckled and continued to clean without comment. However, a thought slowly dawned on her and she paused.

“Lena..?” William noticed.

“Sorry, I’m just... thinking,” She shook her head and continued.

“Thinking of what?” He asked.

Lena thought about how best to say it.

“I suppose... well... I don’t know. I just-... Do you really believe any of this will ever truly be over?” Lena asked him.

William sighed. “I really hope so... it may not be today, or tomorrow, or even the day after, but in my heart I know one day we’ll finally be truly happy and free from her and her effects.”

“What do you think it’ll be like when that comes?” She asked him. William smiled.

“Well... I imagine there’ll be dancing under a sky full of stars. Music playing softly in the other room, while we just have all the time in the world to ourselves, knowing Yakko, Wakko and Dot are safely tucked to sleep- or even if they aren’t we know they’re safe. They know they’re loved, we know we’re loved, you know you’re loved,” He said, a far-off look on his face indicating he had given this thought before. Lena smiled.

“Dancing under the stars... I’ve missed that,” She agreed with him.

“Perhaps we’ll even go to the garden. We’ll sit on our bench by the fountain where I first proposed to you and we’ll just sit and reflect on the good times we shared, and the good times yet to come. It won’t be the end, after all. There’ll still be a lifetime ahead of us,” He said. Lena closed her eyes, envisioning it.

“That sounds lovely,” She smiled and opened her eyes.

“One day,” He said with a wink.

“We’re doneeee, can you tell us the story now?” Dot ran up to them, grabbing William’s leg. He laughed.

“Alright, c’mon,” He said, peeling Dot from his leg and picking her up instead. Wakko went to Lena and held her hand. She gave it a comforting squeeze, not that either was nervous. Yakko walked on her other side.

Together, the family all went back to the familiar playroom and settled in for storytime with Dad.

Effortlessly he weaved a tale about a beautiful princess, a handsome knight, and a fearsome dragon. Had it been done before? Of course, but it was the audience’s choice and they missed the cliché. He spoke of everlasting love, the princess and the knight saving each other numerous times, and eventually how they lived happily ever after and created a land of prosperity, peace, and love- unlike the age of the Dragon. It didn’t take a genius to figure out his inspiration for such a tale, but it was interesting and exciting nonetheless.

After that, Lena and William played with Yakko, Wakko, and Dot with their dolls, playing a game similar to the story, but with its own twists (like the Princess being fire breathing and could transform into a giant lion and the knight was secretly the God of Thunder) until it was eventually time for diner.

After that, William read them a bedtime story, this time of a lonely siren and a sailor who nearly drowned, which captivated Wakko and Dot easily, though Yakko was tired, and barely awake by the end. Then, they checked for monsters for Dot (a new concern of hers), after which Lena sang them their lullaby and they all went to sleep.

And so several days passed in such a way. Lena would spend her mornings over paperwork and giving signatures and statements and writing to other kingdoms in preparation for her coordination while William watched the kids, and in the afternoon she’d join them for lunch and for some quality family time until it was eventually time to sleep and the cycle would start over. As much as she hated the paperwork portion of her days, she couldn’t deny the quality time made up for it. Seeing her children slowly regain their spirit filled her with more happiness than she could ever describe, especially with the help of Doctor Scratchnsniff.

Ah, yes. Doctor Scratchnsniff. At first, the children were hesitant to meet with him, but after Lena and William offered to sit in with them for their appointments (for the first one, at least) they agreed.

Dot seemed to be liking him, though she found him and his accent strange at first. However, the doctor reported she was already off to a good start and even after meeting twice he said she was making good progress. That was good to hear at least. The sooner her PTSD was gone, the better.

It was evident Yakko liked him less so, but Lena and William weren’t surprised by that. His issues were with being fiercely independent and untrusting so naturally, it was going to take a while for him to open up, which they were okay with. They had all the time in the world now.

Wakko, however, never wanted to be alone with him. He always had Lena sit with him through his appointments, either clinging to her arm, or sitting in her lap the whole time as she stroked his ears or rubbed his back soothingly. He hardly spoke a word at first, which was expected, but the doctor didn’t seem to mind. Hopefully, progress would be made with time.

Lena eventually found time to make an appointment of her own. It felt... odd, to say the least. She was used to the loving and kind support from William, but opening up to Scratchy was a different feeling entirely. She didn’t have to fear what he thought, as he was trained to listen and help. She liked that.

What she liked less was reflecting on her childhood. So many feelings and emotions and twisted memories she didn’t know how to look back on. He said this was natural for victims of childhood neglect and abuse, and she couldn’t deny that.

However, she was processing now. Moving on, as he described it. Acknowledging what happened was the first step, moving on was the next. It was... interesting. Then again, these were only the beginning steps. She still had lots and lots of work to do, but she had all the time in the world.

The days passed in such a sequence, that the day of her coordination threw her off guard. Heck- she had hardly noticed that when she had awakened, maids and dressers were immediately there to get her in the gorgeous cerulean blue, and gold dress they had made for her. It wasn’t until they were trying to comb through her hair she realized the day was special. Sure- she wasn’t normally dressed by handmaidens, but in all fairness, she had just woken up.

Oh god- it was finally happening. Important guests from kingdoms all over were going to arrive to watch her rise to the throne and accept her fate and destiny as the next queen of Warnerstock.

Hell- it felt like Lena blinked and suddenly she was waiting for the doors to open so she could walk down and accept the crown and say the lines and well- get coronated as Queen. She was wearing the nicest gown she’d ever worn in her life, and her ears were unbound, as she was no longer wearing her princess crown anymore.

“You ready Mom?” Yakko asked, adjusting his fancy little outfit. Lena thought he as well as the rest of the kids looked adorable, though it was clear he was rather uncomfortable with the lapels and sash. Still- that didn’t stop Lena from wishing she could get a portrait of him done.

“Hopefully,” Lena laughed through her nervousness.

“You’ll be great, I know it,” Wakko grinned up at her. Lena smiled at him, before noticing his sash was on the wrong shoulder and she fixed it.

“Yeah! You’re super nice and pretty and you’ll be a great queen,” Dot encouraged.

“You’re too sweet, darling,” She thanked her before standing.

“You’ve nothing to worry about, my love,” William placed his hands on her shoulders. “We have your back, it’ll be okay.”

“I’m the luckiest queen-to-be in the world,” Lena chuckled.

“Yep!” Wakko agreed.

“Your highness? They’re ready for you,” said one of the officials. Lena took in a deep breath and nodded.

“Well... let’s go,” She gave them a nod. Her family gave her quick grins and thumbs up, before the door opened, and the ceremony officially began.

The ceremony went perfectly as planned. Not a word nor person was out of place. She recited the vow of protection and service perfectly, didn’t flinch when the cold metal of her new crown touched her head, and even managed not to flinch at the mention of her full name (though she could still feel the internal dread of it). She recited her speech to the people perfectly, gaining their understanding and support with her carefully crafted yet heartfelt words, and eventually, the ceremonies were over and the festivities began.

Quickly, the children ran into the outdoor courtyard with many of the other royal children from nearby kingdoms, and music began to play. However, this wasn’t the stuffy, snooty music her mother would’ve chosen for her coordination, no. This was Lena, and she chose something exciting. A new beginning. Songs that make you kick off your shoes (if you wore those) and dance in circles until you pass out from exhaustion you didn’t know you had because you were too busy being swept away by the fun of it all. Lena danced with her new subjects and partners in foreign policy all day, and even a bit of the night as the sun eventually went down, only stopping when the feast began, or the band needed a break, but then returning right away.

She hadn’t felt this alive in years, and Lena was determined to never let it go. This was what freedom was. This was what life without her mother’s control could be, every day. People laughing, cheering, celebrating, being together and safe and happy.

People were happy.

Lena was happy.

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were happy too, even mingling with children from neighboring kingdoms, with Yakko even finding himself fascinated with a certain dog prince that she and William gave a quick thumbs up to, embarrassing him deeply. Eh, he’d get over it. They were back, and that meant embarrassing him to his crushes- even if he just met them that night.

Wakko and Dot were having fun dancing, and drawing chalk on the ground. Wakko proved himself to be quite the artist, as while he danced he dragged and drew with his tail, and before anyone knew it the whole floor was a Wakko art piece. Sure, it may have stained their feet, but it was truly something to behold. Dot, on the other hand, was chatting with other princesses and citizens, charming them with her classic wit and cuteness that made Lena proud.

And William? For the first time in what felt like forever, he seemed to be enjoying himself too, the worry that was constantly behind those deep, dark eyes she loved so dearly being practically gone. Instead, joy and excitement, as well as love was shining back, as he spun and lifted and danced alongside her to the exciting music of the band. The couple had never felt so alive and free.

Eventually, though, all good things come to an end, and guests slowly began to leave, saying their quick goodbyes to the new Queen, wishing her luck, and promising their loyalties and hopes for the future. It saddened to see things coming to an end, but eventually, the band began to play much slower, softer music, and William took her hand in his and they slowly began to sway under the starlight.

“I told you you had nothing to worry about,” William smirked.

“I know, you’re always right, blah blah blah,” Lena snickered.

William laughed. “I’m serious though, I’m extremely proud of you. You’ve come a very long way for it being less than a month since returning.”

“And here I thought it was already a year,” Lena joked, referring more to the neverending piles of paperwork she managed to go through in such a short time than her time with her loved ones.

“Lena, I mean it. I’m incredibly proud of you,” William made sure she knew it.

“Thank you, dear,” Lena kissed him. “I couldn’t have done this- any of this without you.”

“I know,” He said with a small smile. Lena snorted a little, before stepping closer and leaning against him as they swayed together.

“How’s this for a perfect ending, hm?” he asked.

Lena thought about that, looking around the more than half-empty courtyard.

Wakko was curled up into a ball on a pile of pillows nearby a firepit, looking perfectly warn out and warm. Dot was drawing with chalk next to him, looking half asleep as well. Yakko was telling a story to his new friend, though it was very clear that friend was going to have to leave soon, but whoever was in charge of the boy clearly didn’t have the heart to break the two up, which Lena couldn’t say she blamed them for. They were cute. Kids- but cute.

Then she looked back at William. The love of her life. The man who never once left her side and carried her through the worst moments of their lives, and somehow made it out alive. She kissed him again.

“It’s not completely perfect... but it’s a damn good start,” Lena smiled.

“A damn good start indeed,” William grinned.

And it was a damn good start. After all, Queen Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Second was married to Sir William the Good, and had three beautiful children she loved more than anything in the world. Her mother was dead, and couldn’t hurt any of them anymore. There were no more secrets, no more lies, and no more abuse.

Together, the Warners were entering a new era; an era of peace, of love, of great healing, and great togetherness. After all- the old queen was dead, proving once and for all that nothing could or ever would keep them apart for long.

They were together now, and together the Warner Family was unstoppable.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 The End

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softyoongiionly · 4 years

Text

Can I Make a Mess Now?

Jungkook’s never had sex before but, after realizing that he’s falling in love with you, he thinks he wants that to change.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Virgin! Jungkook, established relationship au, college au, smut, fluff.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: This is a part 2 to Will You Make a Mess Now? Please please please let me know what you think! Love you

Warnings: smut, language, 18+ only please.

Winter break never lasts long enough does it?

A few short weeks of bliss and then-

BOOM.

You’re forced out of the warm and lazy cocoon of holiday spirit and, back into the rigidity of modern education.

It’s not that you don’t enjoy your studies, it’s just that after nearly four years of exams and, group projects that never go exactly as planned; you are starting to feel burnt out.

It also doesn’t help that you spent the majority of your winter break sleeping over at your boyfriends house.

You got used to the weight of his head on your chest.

You got used to running your fingers through his hair; an act that lulled both of you to sleep.

You got used to waking up beside him every morning.

When the semester started once again, the two of you agreed that you’d reserve overnight stays to weekends only.

As encouraging as you were of each other’s success, copious amounts of alone time is a (delightful) distraction.

Especially since the two of you began exploring the boundaries of your relationship.

At the beginning of winter break, Jungkook had revealed to you that not only was he a virgin but, he’s never been touched before.

After a bit of discussion, he decided that he wanted you to change that.

And boy did you…

You still can’t get the images of him falling apart beneath the firm grasp of your hand out of your head.

It’s arguably one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook’s room became the safe haven for exploration.

Many cold nights were spent underneath his duvet, touching on each other until things eventually got heated enough for you to take turns making eachother cum.

Happy Holidays indeed.

There was one night in particular that things got a little out of hand.

In the heat of the moment, Jungkook had torn off your t-shirt, leaving the two of you to make out in your underwear.

He positioned you on his lap with a low whine in his throat and, at the feeling of your heat pressing directly into his dick; he almost lost it right then and there.

It took everything in him to keep his hands steady.

To keep them from ripping your panties off…

However, he succeeded and although, it was painful to slow things down, he knew it was the right thing to do.

The only problem is, that night increased his desire to a level he’s never felt before.

He knows he wants you to be his first but; he’s so particular and, so sensitive to his surroundings that he wants to make sure everything is perfect.

Perfection is a concept he frequently struggles with and, although he’s lessened his standards over the years, he still finds himself reverting back to his old habits.

Losing his virginity is a big deal for him.

He can’t help that.

And because it carries so much weight, he feels the need to hold off until the moment is 100% right.

But, how does he define such a thing?

He knows he wants you.

He knows you want him.

He knows he’s falling in love with you…

So, how is a perfect moment established?

Can you plan it?

Jungkook doesn’t know but, he’s starting to believe that he can’t.

His brothers don’t understand his issues.

Seokjin’s been with his girlfriend for two years and, every time she comes to visit, he can hear her moaning through his bedroom door.

An event that continuously scars him.

Namjoon is engrossed in his studies so, he doesn’t make time for relationships.

But one time, when he was looking for his laptop, Jungkook walked in on him getting his dick sucked.

He’s still never gotten that image out of his head.

Hoseok literally attended an orgy two months ago.

Jimin’s dating his childhood sweetheart.

Taehyung stays over at the sorority house at least twice a week.

And, last but not least, Yoongi frequently walks around sporting various love bites and scratch marks after a night with his girlfriend.

Jungkook’s spoken with his hyungs’ regarding sex a few times but, it’s never a conversation he initiates.

He’s far too shy to openly speak about these things.

But from what he’s gathered, sex is top notch.

None of his brothers could think of anything that feels as good, although Yoongi did cite sleeping as a close second.

After a long week of lectures and tedious lab work, Jungkook has finally decided that he wants to lose his virginity.

Or at least…he’s ready to talk about it…

He starts off guns a blazing: he sends you a text trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that his heart is currently pounding in his chest.

Jungkook: do you want to come over tonight?

Jungkook: there’s a new season of that anime we started watching :)

His message does the same bit of damage on your heart because, although you two have been dating for quite some time, you still get excited at the thought of seeing him.

You: plzzz

You: this first week has killed me

You: I need to relax so bad

You: my brain cell count has dropped to dangerously low amount.

Jungkook chuckles to himself, shaking his head at your response.

Jungkook: wow

Jungkook: lower than normal???

Jungkook: that’s pretty bad jagi :/

You giggle, already gathering your toothbrush and, various other items needed for an overnight stay.

You: I know

You: it’s a tragedy : (

Despite the playful banter between the two of you, Jungkook is furiously moving around his room, cleaning every inch of it.

He’s dusting the shelves, vacuuming his floor, rearranging his figurines on his desk.

He feels like a mad man…

Jungkook: lol you’re ridiculous

Jungkook: you can come over around 7 if you’re ready; I’m just finishing up an assignment.

Jungkook: miss you <3

Your boyfriend is literally sour patch kid.

You: miss you too

You: falling asleep without you sucks

You: 10/10 would not recommend

Jungkook smiles, gripping his phone in his hand, a flurry of emotions stirring in his stomach.

Jesus, he really likes you…

Jungkook: stay the night then

Jungkook: I’ll make sure you sleep better tonight

He feels proud of himself.

He initiated you coming over, he’s holding a playful/flirty conversation with you, and he’s totally not freaking out at the fact that he’s going to have to tell you he’s ready to have sex.

Right?

Okay, the last part is definitely a lie but he’s just gonna go with it.

You: on my way :)

Jungkook receives this text from you roughly two hours later when he’s getting out of the shower.

He deep cleaned his bedroom, put fresh bedding on his mattress, scrubbed every inch of his body and, now he was standing in front of the mirror with nothing but a towel on his hips.

He takes time slathering lotion all over his skin, hoping that you like the vanilla-honey scent before applying a copious amount of deodorant.

He shaved in the shower, taking his time to remove the bit of hair around his crotch because it makes him feel cleaner.

Jungkook’s hair is getting longer too so, he’s been putting leave in conditioner on his ends to keep them healthy and spritzing his hair with anti-frizz serum.

After roughly 20 minutes of primping, he gets another text from you as he’s pulling on his sweat pants.

You: Here <333

Jungkook feels his stomach twist whilst reading your message.

Here goes nothing…

You’re standing outside the door of Jungkook’s house, dressed in a hoodie and a pair of leggings.

Comfy works out for you because, it requires minimal effort and, it’s also your boyfriend’s favorite look on you.

So, it’s a win win.

Given the fact that you and Jungkook usually end up fooling around, you took the time to exfoliate and shave whilst you were in the shower.

You may have also worn a new lacy red bra that had arrived in the mail earlier that day…

But, who knows?

“Yahhh there she is…”

You instantly light up as Jungkook eagerly swings open his front door, quickly pulling you into his grasp.

He smells amazing but, he feels even better and, you waste no time in pulling him close to you.

“I missed you.” You mutter into his hair

He grins, hugging you a bit tighter and, ushering you inside, “Missed you too, are you cold at all?”

Stepping through the threshold of his door, you notice that he’s freshly showered himself, his hair is damp and stringy but, it frames his face perfectly

“A little bit but, I plan on using you for warmth really soon so, I’m good.”

His hand is intertwined with yours as he leads you up to his room and, his face lights up with a smile.

“I got a new duvet on Tuesday, it’s really warm but,” He places a hand on his chest. “,you can still use me though, I missed having you here.”

Jungkook mutters the last half of his sentence, his cheeks warming up at his confession before he pushes open the bedroom door.

You don’t comment on his shyness but, it makes you smile and lean into him a little more.

His room is always clean but, the fresh scent of his disinfectant spray is slightly more pungent than normal. It isn’t a harsh smell; it’s a soft lavender cleaner that he special orders from Korea.

He absolutely hates the scent of bleach.

“It’s a nice color huh?”

Jungkook gestures to the muted grey of his new bedding, which is carefully placed over his mattress.

“I love it, it’s very you.” You smile as your eyes scan the room, “it matches your furniture really well too.”

His eyes light up, “Yeah, yeah that’s why I got it. I knew it would look good with the- um the desk and the dresser and stuff. See, I knew you’d notice that…you always notice things like that.”

Before you can respond he’s speaking again, his tone slightly uneven, “Um do you want to lay down? I know you said you were cold. I can hold you if you want-“ He grimaces at his word choice, not fully understanding why his nerves are taking over already, “not that I don’t want to or anything. I do, I just…I know you’re cold.”

You touch your hand to his cheek, bringing his wandering eyes back to yours, “Are you ok?”

Jungkook swallows, his eyes locking with yours, “Y-Yeah, I just don’t want you to be cold…”

You’re not convinced.

Although the two of you have only been together for 6 months, you like to think you’ve gotten to know Jungkook really well. He isn’t exactly a closed book and, when he’s nervous about something, it’s fairly obvious.

“Are you suuuure?”

The question is paired with a soft kiss to his lips and, Jungkook can’t help but smile when you do, his posture relaxing slightly.

“I’m sure, I’m just happy you’re here. It was weird not seeing you all week.” He tucks a stray hair behind your ear before, pecking your lips.

Again, you’re not convinced but, you don’t want to pry.

He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

The matter of his worries is dropped and, Jungkook quickly (and neatly) pulls back the covers so, that the two of you can slip underneath them.

Moments later, you’re nestled against your boyfriend’s side, draping your arm over your stomach.

“You smell good…” You mutter against his sweater, nuzzling gently against the material.

Jungkook grins triumphantly, silently patting himself on the back for his choice of lotion.

“Thank you,” His chest vibrates with the sound of his voice, “so do you…”

With that, he tentatively raises a hand towards your hair, allowing his fingertips to brush over the top of your head.

The anime begins playing but, you’re more focused on the way his fingers feel, as you melt into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

And halfway through the first episode, Jungkook’s motions are beginning to take a toll on you.

But not in the way you’d normally expect…

He’s smiling softly, admiring the way you sigh at his touch, taking time to play with the ends of your hair before massaging gently at your scalp.

“You’re going to make me sleepy…” You mumble contently, a few minutes later and, Jungkook chuckles breathlessly beneath you.

“That’s ok; you can sleep if you need to.”

He means it.

Jungkook had other things on his agenda but, now that you’re here, all he cares about is your comfort.

“Don’t wanna sleep-“ You nudge your nose against his ribcage, “I missed you.”

With another chuckle, he traces his fingers over the edges of your hairline, brushing over the shell of your ear.

You can feel goosebumps rising on your skin but, it’s not intrusive or sudden, they come on slowly along with a type of comfort that only Jungkook can provide.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He soothes, his motions continuing over the arches of your brows before, he traces back up the expanse of your forehead. “I promise.”

You can feel yourself smile as your blinking slows, taking another deep breath whilst your body seems to melt into him.

The heaviness in your eyelids is growing despite your best efforts to warrant off your exhaustion.

You didn’t want to nap, you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend but, when he tucks his fingers beneath your hair and, begins scratching gently on your scalp, the threat of sleep becomes more prominent.

“Sleepy girl…” He teases, a fond smile on his lips as he watches your eyes finally close. His thumb brushes over your cheek, gently pinching at the skin before, returning his hand to your hair.

This warms you from the inside out and, sooner or later you can’t help but, drift off into a light sleep.

Jungkook smile grows and, he slows his movements to a stop before tugging on the duvet until it covers your shoulders.

He decides in that moment that he really wouldn’t mind spending every night just like this; tucked under the covers, falling asleep in eachother’s arms.

He changes the show to something you’ve already seen; he doesn’t want to watch the anime without you.

After some time has passed, you slowly come out of your slumber, happy you’re still laying on your boyfriend’s chest.

You peer up at Jungkook to see his brow furrowed in concentration as his gaze is locked firmly on the screen.

A smile immediately finds it’s way onto your lips, your finger reaching out to bop him on the nose.

He jumps at first, not understanding the source of the interruption before he quickly matches your smile, ““Yah she’s awake. Did you have a good nap?” He thumbs over your cheek once more and, you’re overcome by the urge to press a kiss against his lips

He’s willing and able to accept it.

His hands come up to hold you against him and, he slowly begins to move his lips against yours

“Mhm...”

His nose wrinkles with the joy on his face as he presses more kisses to your lips.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, I just haven’t been getting to bed on time this week...”

An adorable pout comes over his mouth, “Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you were able to get some rest. It’s not late or anything.”

It’s well past sunset but, Jungkook’s vanilla cake candle is providing enough light to illuminate the details of your boyfriends face.

You kiss him again, just because he’s cute and you can, “What did you do while I was out?”

His head reclines against his pillow again but, he tugs you closer, ensuring that you remain against him.

“I watched a few episodes of Naruto...” He admits, “I’ve seen it a million times but, I never get tired of it.”

Your arms drape over his shoulders as the upper half of your body rests over his chest. The wispy ends of his black hair are too cute to resist so you absentmindedly toy with them as you respond,

“I get it, I have a few different shows that I’m like that with; I swear I’ve seen The Office so many times I could quote it in my sleep.”

A half smirk curves on the end of his mouth, “Yeah that’s a good one too, Jin hyung watches that show all the time.”

You giggle, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, “Ah that explains a lot actually, Jin and Michael Scott have a lot in common.”

He chuckles at that, nodding in agreement, leaning his head against your hand.

“Which character do you think you are?”

You purse your lips, mulling it over, your eyes narrowing in thought, “Hmmm that’s a tough one cause like- I wanna say Kelly because, she’s amazing but in reality, I’m probably more of a Kevin.”

Jungkook’s smirk grows, “Isn’t that the guy who dropped his chili all over the place?

With a dramatic sigh, you nod, “God, I’ve never related to anyone more in my entire life...”

A full belly laugh comes from your boyfriends pretty mouth, his body trembling beneath you as he shakes his head.

It’s one of your favorite sounds, especially when it gets all high pitched like it is now.

“Jagi you aren’t Kevin...” He insists, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, “You are cooler than him.”

“You’re just saying that because you see the best side of me; in reality I am 100% Kevin.” You giggle, tucking more hair behind his other ear.

He still chuckles, shaking his head before nodding to you, “Who do you think I am?”

This definitely gets your brain going.

“I’m leaning towards Jim, you guys have a lot in common.” You nod as you continue to think about their similarities, “Yeah, you both have the same sense of humor and, even though you’re more sexy in an obvious way, you both have the same kind of sexiness?? If that makes sense?? But, you’re definitely hotter than Jim.”

You force your train of thought away from the office- style fantasy that pops into your head as Jungkook feels something stir deep in his gut.

“You think I’m sexy?”

You can’t help but laugh at the surprised look on his face, you swear you’ll never understand how Jungkook doesn’t see how hot he is.

“Duh.” You seal your response with a kiss but, Jungkook surprises you by sitting up and tugging you onto his lap.

He chuckles at the squeal that leaves your lips but, he carries on kissing you, his hands sliding up your outer thighs.

You don’t know what prompts his motions but, you’re not really in the mood to ask.

You’d much rather sit on your boyfriend’s lap and, make out with him.

“Can you-” He whispers against your lips, slightly breathless, “Can you say it?”

Your eyes flutter open to catch the shyness in his, “Can I say what?”

Warmth floods the apples of his cheeks, “Can you say that you think I’m sexy?”

A smirk teases the corners of your mouth and, tentatively you roll your hips against his.

“Are you trying to get hard Jungkook?”

You can hear him gulp, his eyes widening a bit before he nods.

With a smirk still on your lips, you tilt his head back, moving your fingers through his hair as you slowly begin placing kisses up the side of his neck.

His breathing picks up and, god help him, he immediately feels his dick hardening in his sweats.

Jungkook’s neck is a sensitive area and, you know exactly where his weak spots are.

As you reach the lobe of his ear, you feel his grip tighten on your hips, his mouth parted slightly to make way for his shaky breath.

“Jungkook?” You whisper in his ear, biting your lip as you see him visibly shiver beneath you.

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re sexy.”

You nibble on his ear before quickly reuniting your lips, your hands sliding underneath his sweater.

His skin is so soft, so warm beneath your fingertips and, there is a large part of you that wishes you could spend hours just touching and kissing your boyfriend’s body.

Jungkook is eagerly reciprocating your kiss whilst his hands slowly move back up the outsides of your thighs.

His plan to get hard definitely worked because, you can feel him poking against your hips and, you’re already thinking of all the different ways you can make him cum.

“Did you get hard for me?” You whisper against his swollen lips, nudging his nose

Instantly he nods, his hands tugging the hem of your hoodie.

You take the hint, pulling back from him in order to remove it.

Your plan is to continue kissing him of course but, as Jungkook spots the fire-red lace cups supporting the swells of your breasts, he lets out a tortured sigh.

“Is that new?” He swallows thickly, biting his bottom lip, allowing his hands to trail up your hips before securing themselves against your waist.

All you do is nod, sticking your chest out a bit and, encouraging him to keep touching you.

Jungkook leans in, dragging the tip of his nose between your breasts, inhaling when he reaches the space between your color bones.

“Did you wear this for me?”

His voice is ragged but, it’s deeper than normal, due to the arousal coating his tone.

“I wanted to look pretty for you.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair.

You can feel him smile against your chest, his wet lips trailing back to tops of the bra, “You’re always pretty but this-” He grows bolder, biting softly at your breast, “this is torture”

A giggle bubbles past your lips, as you roll down against him once more.

“Jagi I-” The sensation of pleasure that toys with his body acts like a truth serum and, in an act of desperation that he definitely didn’t plan, a confession tumbles from his mouth, “I want you.”

But you don’t quite catch his drift, still rocking slowly against him, arousal slowly beginning to unravel you, “I want you too.”

No like,” He pulls away, his eyes glazed over with desire as they lock onto yours, “I want to be inside of you...”

It’s like a punch to the gut really, the way your boyfriend’s voice seems to quake under the weight of his admission.

You cup his cheek, “Really? Are you sure?”

He nods eagerly, licking his lips before turning to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist, “I want you so bad...”

You’re quick to capture his lips then, kissing into him with more fervor than you ever have.

"Can you do it for us Noona?” He croons into your mouth, his eyes darkened with lust as they plead with yours.

A nod is all you can manage at his devasting way of asking you to ride him.

For the first time...

You’re pulling off his sweater, securing your lips to his once more, kissing on them as you lean him back against the pillows.

Your bottoms are removed, leaving you completely naked as you tug his sweats down his legs.

Jungkook’s erection looks painful and, you feel yourself ache at the thought of finally being able to sit on it.

As you sit astride him once more, you lean down to press a kiss between his eyes before trailing your lips down the bridge of his nose to hover over his mouth.

He looks a little emotional, staring up at you as if you hung the moon just for him.

And you would, you’d do anything for him.

“Are you ready baby?” You whisper

He takes a deep and unstable breath through his nose but, gives you a nod anyway as he exhales through his mouth.

Right as you start lining him up with your entrance, Jungkook cups your cheek, his hand clammed up due to his nerves.

“Jagi?” He croaks

You kiss his hand gently, reassurance in your eyes, “Yeah?”

“G-Go slow please...”

You nod, “Of course, tell me if you want to stop at any point ok?”

He returns your nod before, letting out another breath as his head returns to his pillows.

Slowly but surely, you begin sheathing him in your heat, going as slow as possible so he can feel everything.

His body seems to freeze as you sink down on him, his hands tightening on your hips before a gasp leaves his throat.

Jungkook is quite sure he’s in heaven.

That’s the only explanation for the intense feelings of pleasure swimming through his body. He’s never felt anything so hot, so tight-

So fucking good.

He’s going to lose his mind.

With wide eyes, he stares up at you in awe, his lips parted as the length of his dick is fully inside of you.

You’re not fairing too well either because, Jungkook fills you up perfectly, nudging against the spot within you that makes your head spin.

“Is that ok?”

“ ‘ss so good...” His voice is slurred as his hips jerk beneath you, sending a wave of pleasure through your core.

Biting your lip, you thumb his cheek, trying to hold it together, “Can I ride you now?”

You’re asking because, you want to make sure he’s prepared.

You know this isn’t going to last long but, you still want to blow his mind.

“I’m already so close jagi...I’m sorry...” He chokes on the end of his sentence when you start a pace on his dick, “Oh fu- oh my god...”

“Shh...don’t be sorry, you’re doing so good. You cum whenever you need to ok?”

“Ah- Y/N...”

His beautiful features are screwed up in pleasure, his hands falling off your hips because, he literally doesn’t have the strength to hold on at this point.

Jungkook’s breathing is growing rapid, as his eyes flit to where you’re connected, “Jagi I’m- I’m really inside...I’m really inside of you...” He marvels, his voice weak with emotion as his hips begin to meet yours.

“You feel so good inside of me.” You assure him, increasing your pace which prompts his eyes to roll back momentarily.

“Will you kiss me? Please? I wanna kiss you when I cum...and I’m-” His eyes re-focus but, it doesn’t last long as you lean forward to brace your hands on either side of his head, “Jagi I’m gonna cum already...I’m gonna cum so hard. Oh sh- shit...”

You want every wish of his to come true.

You lean down to connect your lips, your hips moving faster and faster, wanting him to cum harder than he ever has in his entire life.

He whimpers into your mouth as his sweaty hands hold you tightly against his body.

“It’s...fuck I’m sorry, I’m sor- I'm cumming.” He chokes out, his grip tightening intensely as his hips weakly jerk with the force of his release.

He says your name as he cums inside of you, trying his best to kiss you properly but, it’s wet and sloppy.

You don’t care though, you ride him through his orgasm, keeping your lips connected.

“There you go, cum for me baby...” You coo, kissing all over his face as the pleasure continues to wrack his senses.

Jungkook knows his never cum harder in his life and, by the time his orgasm settles down, he’s properly spent.

He doesn’t completely register the feeling of you sliding off of him as his whole body is alight with tingles.

You make sure to clean him up, pressing gentle kisses to his stomach as you do.

You didn’t cum this time and, to be honest, it doesn’t really matter.

What you’ve both just experienced was too intimate to measure and, orgasms weren’t really the point this time.

Tucking into your boyfriend’s body you bring him close, tugging the duvet over his shoulders this time...

“Hi” He whispers, tucking his face shyly into your neck, his breathing not fully recovered.

“Hi you...”

With a smile on your mouth, you press a kiss to his head, holding him tightly to you.

He kisses your chest, feeling ridiculous at how shy he suddenly feels, “I think-” He stops himself to peek up at you, a bit of moisture in his eyes, “I think I’m falling for you.”

Your heart throbs at his confession, kissing his lips once more before whispering, “I think I am too.”

Jungkook knows you didn’t finish and, he plans on addressing that when he settles down but right now, all he can do is hold you.

He thinks he’s finally figured it out:

You can’t plan a perfect moment because, perfection just doesn’t exist.

But as along as he’s with you, it doesn’t really matter.

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jeonqquk · 3 years

Text

i think i love you | pjm

pairing- jimin x reader genre/tags- fluff, a lil bit of angst, jimin doesn’t know he loves yn, yuna being the cupid she is rating- 13+ word count- 2k words

Your sullen gaze meets Taehyung’s, his hazel eyes slightly widening in shock and- you spot- worry. You’re sitting at one of the round tables covered with the silky white cloth, plum coloured dress starting to crease from the lengthy amount of time you’d been sitting. At the party. Jisung had wanted to celebrate his graduation with his close friends and family too, so him being your colleague at the bakery you worked at had invited all of your limited staff members. You had thought that it was going to be held at a bar but he had surprised all of you by saying that you would be celebrating in a nice restaurant. Hence, you were wearing the velvet dress with the matching heels Jimin had gotten you for your second anniversary.

Jimin.

Your heart hurt thinking about him, his sweet smile, chocolate eyes and all the other perfect traits about him filling your head. You missed him, a lot. But knew that your break up was good for the both of you. The two of you had dated for 4 years before something just seemed off, it gradually increased and soon, the two of you were just barely having time for each other. The relationship wasn’t healthy, but don’t take it the wrong way! You really loved Jimin and were very satisfied with him for a long time but then, because of your jobs and other work, you just weren’t having time for Jimin. He never abused you or anything. Oh, heck no.

The break-up had been better than your previous ones, honestly. It had occurred at your doorstep- not the best place- but Jimin hadn’t thrown a fit, unlike your previous partners and gotten angry about your decision. In fact, he had acted maturely, one of the things you absolutely admired him for and had said “I had been thinking about this too..” There had been no crying and you were glad that Jimin and you were still on good terms despite being exes. He was dating Yuna now, and really, you were happy for him. She obviously made him very glad and you had never wanted anything other than happiness for Jimin, even if it meant sacrificing your own.

Suddenly feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes, you get up hurriedly. As you run out, you even ignore Jimin who confusedly reaches his hand out before you’re disappearing outside. You reach the small lawn outside and breathe in, trying to relax yourself.

You hated yourself, the lone reason being that you still had feelings for Jimin. You didn’t know why, how or when. All you knew was that you still loved Jimin, even if the end was 50% of your decision. But knowing that you couldn’t do anything about your unwanted feelings for your ex, you had always kept this to yourself. Just after you officially let him go, you instantly began regretting your decision.

We may have been going through a rough patch but we could work it out.

No amount of bars you drank at helped you forget about your stupid decision but your mind still kept going back to when he said that he too thought that you should break up. He wouldn’t have been happy in the relationship.

Sighing loudly, you’re too lost in your own thoughts consuming you that you don’t notice someone walking towards you. The feeling of a jacket being draped over your shoulder makes you realise that with a jolt and you identify who the clothing belongs to even without looking at it. The smell gave it all away.

Jimin.

Turning around with wide eyes, you see Jimin standing behind you with his hands in his trouser pockets. His gaze is curious and you quickly run over all the lies you could tell him to get out of the situation. The situation being him asking you why you had run out of the restaurant without any words and even ignored him You feel a pang of guilt in your gut- partially from the fact that you know that you’re now gonna lie to him. And hopefully, even get away with it.

You’re in the middle of opening your mouth to tell him that you were suddenly feeling dizzy which is why you headed out without informing anyone but a certain song reaches your ears.

It doesn’t take you even half a second to realise which song it was and before you know it, your eyes are welling up with tears threatening to spill out of your eyes again. The emotions all suddenly burst and a tear slides down your cheek.

Jimin stares at you in shock, before immediately springing into action and pulling you into him. His arms tightly wrapped around you, your head is buried in his chest, and this certain feeling has you pressing yourself closer to him.

As much as you’re enjoying this, you know that Jimin is dating someone else and although his intentions are obviously very innocent, you don’t know if you can hold yourself back from confessing your love for him right now.

Unwillingly and reluctantly, you break the hug, the melody of the song that had been playing when Jimin first kissed you at prom still filling your ears. “Our song..” you mumble and he nods, “I thought they didn’t play anything other than The Police.” he chuckles at your words and his lips part softly, “I had to pay them 20 bucks.” your eyes widen at his words and you lift your head to meet his gaze.

“Will you dance with me?” the memories of all the other times he had asked you to move rhythmically to the beat of a song come flooding back in and you almost nod, before stopping yourself when you remember that a Yuna also existed.

“Jimin..” his pleading eyes make it specifically tough to reject his very tempting offer. “No, we can’t. You’re dating Yuna..” you trail off at the mention of her name and Jimin immediately rushes to speak, shocking you.

“I broke up with her.” He himself looks surprised that he said this but after a few second of the two of you just staring at each other, he closes his eyes for a split second. “Y/n, will you dance with me?”

“You broke up with Yuna?” you completely ignore his question and settle for asking him another one instead. Making no effort to hide the astonishmnet in your voice, you look at Jimin expectantly, and he keeps his hand on your waist, the butterflies in your stomach becoming unbearable at this point. “Yeah, we broke up with each other, to be completely honest.”

2 hours ago

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Yuna had never been one to beat around the bush- and Jimin was well acquainted with that- but the sudden straightforwardness she confronted him with left him breathless. “W-What?” he hated stuttering, but this was so out of the blue, he couldn’t help it. They had been cheerily talking to some friends when Yuna had asked Jimin if she could ‘have a moment’ with him. He had agreed and looked at her in worry for any problem she may have been having.

Instead, she had roughly kissed him. Desperately. Her fingers tangled in his hair and Jimin had responded, grabbing her waist but something about the kiss just seemed off. He tried brushing it aside and leaned into her, pressing her into the wall of the small room they were in. Yuna quickly broke the kiss and looked at Jimin for his reaction, his fake smile not convincing her. Don’t get him wrong, Jimin really did like Yuna but just couldn’t picture a future with her. Whenever he had thought about waking up next to his future wife and smothering his children’s faces with smooches- the woman had always been you and their kids had acquired your pretty eyes. He didn’t know why, but supposed that it was because he had spent most of his dating life with you.

Coming back to the present, Yuna let go of Jimin’s black tie and looked down at her feet, gaze not meeting Jimin’s. Looking at her in confusion, he tried lifting his girlfriend’s face to meet his and was met by the one question he had never expected her to ask.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Jimin was taken aback and scrambled to form coherent sentences as Yuna looked at him in disappointment. She knew all about you and how Jimin and you had shared a very special bond before breaking off. She also knew that somewhere deep in his heart, where Jimin had buried all of his feelings for you, he was still in love with you. One might ask why she had still agreed to date him and her answer was simple. To make the stupid boy realise that he still loved you. It was true that she liked Jimin but similar to him, she just didn’t think he was the one for her.

She tells him this right now, and he’s left astounded once again, this thought never having crossed his mind.

“R-really?” Yuna nods with a sad smile on her face and watches Jimin’s face lose all colour. “Hey, hey. Jimin, look at me. I’m sorry okay? I know this was stupid but I know that you still love Y/n.” Jimin sighs loudly and tugs at his hair, a habit many people around him had gotten accustomed to.

“I think I still love her..” Yuna laughs at Jimin’s obliviousness at his own feelings and puts a hand on his shoulder as he resolutely nods to himself before meeting Yuna’s eyes.

“Okay. So, I’m going to have to break up with you..” his voice falters at his words that didn’t sound so bad in his head but continues anyways “A-And then I’m going to tell Y/n how I feel.” the plan sounds terrible but he has to confess as soon as possible or he might lose his mind. Yuna just nods along with a pitiful smile on her face, she obviously knows that Jimin’s plan was messed up.

“Go get her.” she whispers and Jimin is instantly running off to where he saw you walk out.

“Oh..” you’re at a loss for words and it takes you a full minute to regain your composure before your tongue darts out to lick your dry lips. Hugging Jimin’s jacket closer to your body, you revel in the amazing scent. Jimin opens his mouth but no sound comes out and he ends up closing it. A silence falls over the two of you.

“Dance with me?” this is the third time he’s asking you and this time, you waste no time in nodding, the coat he had so graciously given you almost falling from your shoulders in the hurry.

Jimin’s hands land on your waist and yours find purchase on his shoulders. He moves both your bodies to the slow tune and you muster the courage to lean in closer. He smirks and you just look at his godly features, plush lips inviting and brown orbs piercing directly through your soul.

You don’t know who initiates the kiss but before you can comprehend it, Jimin’s lips are meeting yours. His arms move to wrap around your waist completely, walking you backwards to someplace you didn’t know.

“Ji-Jimin..” he breaks off with a sweet chu and you simply stare at the beautiful boy in front of you, unable to believe that what was happening was real. “Be my girlfriend again?” his cheeky smile makes it hard to resist pinching his cheeks and you nod with a shy smile.

You both decide not to go back inside and just spend time with each other for now. You try returning his jacket but he doesn’t take it. Instead, he makes you wear it again and hugs you from behind as the two of you walk on the silent street back to his house.

His ‘I love you’ is muffled by your hair but you still hear it, smiling and replying with a short kiss to his lips. “I like how your chapstick tastes.” he snorts in response, but the sides of his lips still curl upwards.

“It’s strawberry flavoured, I’ll buy you one too.”

thanks for reading! please send in feedback through asks or dms :)

pReSS dIs gReen ReCyClE BuTtOn. iT WoNt hUrT, pRess dIs bUttON. thE HuRt bUttOn aNd TheN ThE GrEeN ArrOw bUttoN.

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axoxtxhxh · 3 years

Text

Not Without Trying - Chapter 6

Summary: Reader is upset and struggling to cope with learning about Reiner being the armored titan so Levi steps in to help.

LevixFem!Reader Angsty/Fluffy

Warnings: A little blood

Word Count: ~2,800

“You’re not going to eat?” Levi asked, frustrated. “Again?”

“I’m not hungry.” Her already red eyes started filling with more tears. He sat next to her. The mess hall had been empty for a couple hours now, everyone already in bed.

“Y/N, please.” He held a glass of water in front of her. “Please just drink something.”

“I’m sorry…” She looked down at her hands, tears falling into her lap. “I’m making this so hard on everyone.”

“No…” He reached for her hand. “No. Stop blaming yourself.”

“But it’s my fault.” She looked at him. “Levi, I was probably the only one that could have figured it out, but I didn’t see it. How could I have missed it?”

“What would you have done if you knew?” He took a napkin and roughly wiped her face.

“I don’t know… I just could have done something.” She looked back down, crying again.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He stood up, pulling her arm to follow him.

“What are you doing?” She asked, stumbling over her feet. He made his way to the stairs and continued pulling her.

“You need to stop feeling bad for yourself.” He reached the top of the stairs and continued down the hall. “I’m not going to pity you.” Her room was at the end of the hall, he opened the door, hauling her into the room and through to the bathroom.

He finally let her go once they were inside and turned on the bathtub, testing the water to make sure it was the right temperature. The steam from the hot water sent a chill down her spine.

“Get undressed and get in.” He directed. “Leave your clothes by the door so I can wash them.” He headed to the door, but stopped and turned around. “If you don’t do it yourself, know that I will come back and force you to do it.” And then he left.

Y/N crawled over to the tub and watched the water pour out. She put her hand in and felt the warmth that started at her fingertips then ran throughout her body. She stood up and started getting undressed. She couldn’t remember the last time she changed her clothes. Her shirt and pants were stained with tears and anything else she came across in the last couple weeks. She set them by the door and climbed in the bathtub. Feeling the hot water on her skin felt nice. She took out her hair and dipped her head in the water, fully submerging herself, then coming back up. She sat in the tub, watching as Levi’s hand peeked in from the doorway, grabbing her clothes and disappearing again. She leaned back in the tub and closed her eyes, letting her mind think of nothing for a while.

She must have fallen asleep at some point because she opened her eyes, confused where she was before she remembered she was taking a bath. She sat up, noticing Levi sitting to her right, sleeping. He was resting his head on one arm on the tub’s edge while the other arm was hooked under her arm, keeping her head above the water. As she moved around, he woke up.

“Sorry.” She said, leaning forward and hugging her knees.

“For what?” He sat up, leaning his back against the sink. “How do you feel?”

“Pretty good.”

“I’ll let you finish.” He said standing up. “Just don’t fall asleep again.”

“No, stay.” She looked at him. “I don’t really want to be alone.” He looked at her and sat back down. They were silent for a little bit before he spoke up.

“Your clothes were disgusting.” He stated.

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” He complained. “None of this is your fault.”

“I know, but—”

“No but,” He said, “No one is telling you to apologize. This was a shitty situation. It happened, you deal with it and move on. That’s all you can do.” She nodded slowly and he watched her.

“…We made plans to get married.” She stared at the water, her mind lost in a memory. “And have kids…” She shook her head. “He lied to me. Not just about being a titan or about hurting people. Those are bad enough, but he lied to me about our future… about what we were. He acted like he loved me. I don’t even know what for.”

Levi stared at her as she spoke. Not wanting to interrupt her.

“What’s even worse is that I still want it.” She rested her forehead on the heel of her hands. “That life that he made me imagine, I still want it. It’s like he gave me these hopes and dreams, things I had never thought I could have and then he took it away when he left.”

She laid her head on her knees and looked at him.

“It’s bad enough I had to say good-bye to him, but to also say good-bye to a dream he told me I could have… I’m so stupid.” She looked back down at the water. “… I thought I could do so many things, but I can’t. I thought I could make it work, dating a cadet. I failed. I thought I could make my family proud, they aren’t even here anymore. I thought I could be a good captain, but all I did was let everyone down.”

“You’re pitying yourself again.” Levi finally spoke up. Y/N looked up from the water. “You keep doing this. You start to feel better and then you bring yourself back down. You remind yourself of all your failures, of everything you’ve ever done wrong and then you sit there and mope about how terrible you are at everything. You pity yourself until you’ve dug a deep enough hole, burying yourself in your own criticisms and disappointments. And once you manage to crawl out of it and try to be better, you start back over.”

She was about to speak, but he continued.

“You’re too strong for this, Y/N. You’re so strong that there isn’t anyone here that can hold you back so you just hold yourself back instead. And you are so damn good at it.” He shook his head. “You really need to ask yourself, how long do you want to keep doing this? There’s enough evil in this world, enough people trying to knock you down, you don’t need to be doing it to yourself.”

Y/N opened her mouth to argue, but didn’t know what to say and Levi leaned in closer to her.

“The only person dissatisfied with you as a captain, is you.” He continued. “Erwin has someone else to strategize with. With more experience, you could honestly be commander. Hange has someone who actually cares about titans, someone they can talk to about science shit. And Miche… well Miche is happy anytime there’s more women.”

“…And you?”

“The fact that I can tolerate you for more than 20 minutes says a lot.” He moved even closer. “Stop beating yourself up because right now… everyone else is rooting for you.” Her eyes started filling with tears.

“… Okay.” She tried smiling, but it ended up just being her pressing her lips together. Levi reached up to wipe her cheek and felt how cold she was.

“What the hell?” He dipped his hand in the water. “This is ice cold, why didn’t you say anything?”

He quickly stood up and grabbed her a towel, lifting her up and pulling her into it.

“I’ll let you get dressed.” He moved to the door and stopped, speaking just above a whisper, “I really want you to win, Y/N.” Then he left.

Y/N stared at the door where Levi was for a bit, thinking about what he said. After a while, she dried herself off, put on her pajamas, and crawled into bed.

…..

The next morning was different from the past few weeks. Y/N woke up, got dressed, and made it to the mess hall while everyone else was still eating. She had almost forgotten what it looked like when it was full. The room got quiet as she walked down the stairs.

She grabbed some bread and turned to find a seat, freezing, thinking about the last time she went to eat. She always sat with the same person, a person who wasn’t here anymore. She looked down, about ready to drop her food when an arm came from behind her, grabbing her arm and dragging her to the end of the first table where Erwin and Miche were already sitting. Levi let go of her arm and sat down and she sat down with him.

“So you finally bathed.” Miche said. Y/N gave another one of her pressed lip smiles. “I’m proud of you.” He smiled at her and kept eating his breakfast.

“We’re doing hand-to-hand training with the cadets today. If you’re feeling up for it, I’m sure they would love to work with you.” Erwin mentioned, gauging her reaction.

“I don’t know…” Y/N mumbled and took a bite of her bread.

“You can at least watch.” Levi took a sip of his tea. She lightly nodded at that.

Everyone finished up their breakfast and headed out to the training fields. Y/N took her time and was the last one out there. She stayed near the building next to Erwin and Hange while Levi and Miche went out to give instructions. After about twenty minutes they both came back and let the cadets work.

The cadets had really grown so much. From their first day of tripping over themselves, to now being able to spar. It reminded her how much she appreciated her part in guiding them.

“Can you help me carry some stuff?” Levi asked her, breaking her from her thoughts.

“Sure.” She looked at what they would be carrying. “Is this necessary?” She lifted up one of the leather straps from the box.

“They will need it soon.” He explained. “Can you help me or not?”

“Okay.” She grabbed one of the boxes and made her way out to the field. “Where am I carrying this to?” She walked out to the field and turned around when she didn’t hear an answer. Levi was standing there without any boxes. “Where’s your box?”

“Fight me.” He told her.

“What?”

“Fight me.”

“What are you talking about? Where is this box going?” She looked around for a place to put it.

“Forget the box. I want you to hit me.”

“I’m not doing this.” She said, dropping the box on the field and walking away.

He swung his leg to the backs of her legs, tripping her under her feet. Her feet flew up and her body fell backwards onto the ground. All of the cadets gasped and stopped their training to watch. Y/N laid on the ground trying to figure out what happened. She sat up and turned to look at Levi, glaring at him.

“I’m not in the mood for this, Levi.” She stood up and brushed off her legs. “Just leave me alone.” She turned around to continue walking. Levi ran up and kicked her from behind, this time planting his foot on her butt, forcing her body forward onto the ground. She stayed there for a second, on all fours, hot tears forming in her eyes.

She jumped to her feet and faced him.

“I’m not kidding!” She wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve, brushing her loose hairs out of her face. Levi didn’t even give her a second before he was on her, pushing her backwards until she hit an empty carriage, the wind being knocked out of her. The cadets slowly started following the fight, abandoning their training entirely.

Y/N tried her best to push Levi back, but he continued forward. She managed to grab his shoulders and pushed him off, but he came rushing back, this time with his fist and hit her clear across her face, a small cut appearing under her eye. A loud gasp came from the cadets again, but this time they caught everyone’s attention. Hange, Miche and Erwin stepped outside and were watching. Levi pushed Y/N against the carriage again, trying to knock her off her feet.

“That’s too—” Hange started, but Erwin put his hand on their shoulder and shook his head.

Levi backed up to get more momentum, reaching his hands down to grab under her hips, hoping to grab her legs and throw her back. Y/N used the opportunity to catch him off guard and thrusted her knee into his chest, throwing him back a little. She walked forward, pushing him back as she walked. He made another attempt to charge at her, but she forced the palm of her hand under his chin, flinging his head back giving her a perfect opening. She kicked him square in the chest, launching his body backwards and onto the ground.

She walked over, grabbing his collar and dragged him across the training field. He kicked his legs, trying to get his footing, but couldn’t find it leaving his legs slipping under him. He knew she was dragging him over to the pole so he only had a short time to figure out a plan. She slowed her pace and it gave him enough leverage to pull her backwards in front of him. She landed on her back, looking up at him, her teeth clenched. Without wasting a second, he was on top of her, slamming her head to the ground. He was able to get two hits in before she lifted her leg from behind him and wrapped it around his neck, pushing him backwards. She sat up, her hair falling out of the ties.

She made her way over to him, kicking him, then sitting on his hips. She drove her fist into his cheek, blood splattering to the side of them and a small smirk on her lips. She went in for another hit, but Levi’s hand stopped her and he rolled her to the side, him now on top of her. She lifted both legs up and flung him over her head.

“Fuck!” He barked and landed on his back. They both laid there for a second, panting. The cadets’ eyes were glued to the scene, Hange and Miche ready to interfere at any moment. They all stared, mouths open at the sight in front of them. Both Y/N and Levi still lying on the ground. The only thing moving was their chests, quickly rising and falling. No one sure if they were going to continue fighting.

A smile grew on Y/N’s face. Starting with a small grin until she was beaming. Her chest still rising and falling, but this time with laughter. Her hands moved to her stomach as she continued laughing. Her laugh carried over all the training fields. Everyone continued watching. Finally, Y/N sat up, still laughing. She looked over at Levi, he was still breathing heavily. She crawled over to him and hovered over his face.

“You son of a bitch.” She smiled at him. “Are you okay?” He looked up at her. His mouth and nose were covered in blood.

“I’m doing just swell.” He groaned as she helped him up. “Damn, those kicks are no joke.” He held his ribs. They both stood up, brushing the dirt off of their clothes. Y/N stared at him.

“Thank you.” She smiled and he reached up ruffling her hair.

“Don’t make me do it again.” They put their arms around each other’s shoulders and started making their way back inside. “I was not in the mood for a beating.”

“Neither was I!”

“You took it pretty well though.”

“Oh shut up.” She pushed his head forward, laughing. The cadets were all shocked, watching as they went back inside. For the first time in a long time, Y/N was smiling.

…..

There was a knock on Y/N’s office door and Levi walked in. Y/N turned to face him.

“What’s up?” She asked, leaning back from her desk.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.” He said and she raised her eyebrows with a smile. “About what you said.”

“I say a lot of things.” She smiled, her arms behind her head, “Which one resonated with you this time?”

“Ew.” He made a disgusted face. “I want to help you become the captain you want to be.” She looked at him. “Let’s train together.”

She sat up quickly, bringing herself closer to him.

“Seriously?” She was beaming.

“Don’t get too excited. We will have to train early in the morning, before everyone gets up.”

“That’s fine by me.”

Levi turned and went to leave her office.

“Levi?” He stopped, turning to face her. “Thanks.”

He smiled before walking through the door, closing it behind him.

Taglist: @levisbebe @nefelimalfoy

61 notes · View notes

lalahbug · 4 years

Text

Guidance - Zuko x Reader Chapter 1

Fandom: Avatar the Last Air bender Word Count: 3,819 My Masterlist Warnings/disclaim: General In this fic, characters are aged up, to what I see fit for my story, but will stay roughly on the same timeline This takes place on the timeline after the North Pole and Zuko and his Uncle go their separate ways for a bit. If you’ve never seen ATLA, the story may be confusing and vague/give spoilers. Author’s Note: under the story ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting. Story under cut, 1 of 8: Guidance Masterlist

Limply riding along on his ostrich-horse Zuko clung to his stomach as a waft of food hit him. It was coming from a nearby forest, he turned the animal into the trees a bit before demounting and tying the reins to a trunk near some water. Zuko quietly walked, following the smell of food, the closer he got he could tell it was fish.

A woman came into view, she looked around his age, but was alone, with many basins of salt, which he amused was for curing some type of meat. He kept low and quiet, waiting for the perfect moment to steal some food.

Watching the girl intently, Zuko gripped the hilts of his double swords when she sat down a couple of leaves on the ground. She took the fish, which she had been roasting and rotating above a flame, gently pushed it off the stick it was cooking onto the leaf. She repeated the movements until 3 fish were on each leaf, she picked up one and sat down.

After sipping her tea, she sat another cup across from her, with the other pile of cooked fish. This confused Zuko, because she seemed alone, yet was setting a place across from her, repeating with some rice in small bowls.

“You are very stealthy but I apologize, not good enough to evade me.” The lady spoke softly, after a bite of rice. “Please come join me, you’re hungry, I could hear your stomach.”

Zuko froze, it seemed like a trick, yet his need for food drove his feet forward slowly.

“Would you like some water along with your tea and food?” She gave him a gentle smile as he emerged from the forest into her clearing.

“Why?” Zuko demand.

“Why not?” She retorted, pouring him a cup of water and setting it near the food.

Zuko glared at her, he didn’t want to just take food given, yet it was technically better than trying to steal it when it was clearly free.

He gingerly sat down in front of her, eyeing her.

She chuckled a bit then sighed, “are you going to let that food go to waste?”

“Answer my question, why?”

“Technically I did, you didn’t answer mine. Why not?” Zuko glanced down at the food before glaring at her again, causing her to sigh again. “Let’s just chalk it up to me not wanting to fight today. I’ve had a very nice day, and I have enough food and supplies to share with someone who does not. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

“So, you’re only giving it to me because you’re in a good mood?” He sneered.

“No,” she stated calmly, taking a piece of fish and eating it. “I’m doing it because I know what it's like to travel and have almost nothing. It’s not pleasant. It’s not something I would even wish upon my enemy; hunger is the cruelest torture of life.”

Zuko looked at the food again, before picking up the fish and starting to eat it.

Zuko kept eyeing her as they ate in silence, she didn’t bother to start conversation nor stared at him, her calm composure was throwing him off, but it also calmed him as it reminded him of Uncle Iroh.

When Zuko was done eating, she handed him a water bladder, it was bigger than the empty one upon his person.

“Trade me, I need a smaller one for watering plants.” Zuko glanced over at her makeshift home and saw a couple of pots with flowers near her makeshift wall.

Zuko traded with her, without any words then he stood up to leave, as he turned, he glanced at her over his shoulder, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she paused as he started to walk away. “Would you like some feed for your ostrich-horse?”

Zuko paused at the line of the clearing, mulling it over, she was frustrating him.

“Why? Because you think I need handouts from a homeless person?!” He shouted at her.

“I may be homeless, but at least I am not lost. I see the hurt and loss within you, I’ve been there, it’s easier to get through when you’re not alone and not wondering when you’ll eat again.”

“So, you pity me? There is no way you could know what I’m going through! What I’ve lost!”

She opened a piece of parchment with his face on it, his wanted poster.

“Prince Zuko, I may not know what you’re going through exactly but I know what you’ve lost.”

“If you know who I am then why would you feed me? Give me water? Offer me feed?”

The woman stood and walked towards him, with an open hand, offering it to him. “Because I know what it's like to be not wanted by anyone, not even my home.”

Zuko could see her eyes water a bit before quickly blinking them away, he could see the truth behind her words, and the sorrow within her eyes.

Zuko looked down at her hand, “so what are you offering?” He asked softly.

“To teach you how to live on your own, and possibly guide you to yourself.”

Her words struck him the way his Uncle’s do, but this time, he knew that the one behind the words had been in his place before. But was she was so lucky to have someone to help her, would he choose his self-isolation or take the chance to learn? He furrowed his brow not knowing any of the answers. He looked up into her eyes then gently shook her hand.

“Okay.”

A few weeks had passed with Zuko and ___, he learned her name and told her his fake name, Lee, in case anyone came around. He found out she was 20, 2 years older than him, yet she seemed so much more knowledgeable on just about everything he had questions on.

“And that is how to make a basket,” she said calmly, giving her basket to him.

Zuko grunted and started to weave the pieces together, getting more and getting frustrated as the pieces wouldn’t stay together.

“Here,” ___ sat closely next to him, moving his hands into a different position. “You can’t use so much force, you’re simply weaving pieces together, keeping composure and being firm, with your hands further apart and it should be easier. It’ll still take practice, but you’ll get it.”

___ gently patted his shoulder before standing up and moving over to the fire, where she was cooking soup.

“Why would I need a basket anyways?” Zuko grumbled as he took the process a bit slower and more seriously.

“If you become good at it, you can make more watertight ones, so you can brine or soak meats before curing them, so you have more food while traveling. A couple of good baskets with salt in them, on the side saddle of your animal, you’ll just have to start a fire to cook, then you could eat and rest. Or knowing you, cook then continue.” She laughed slightly at her comment as she stirred the soup.

Zuko put down his in-process basket, which was holding its shape thankfully and not coming undone the moment it wasn’t being held together.

“How long have you been on your own?” Zuko asked before drinking some water.

“I guess about 8 years now, soon to be 9. I left home right before my 12th birthday.”

Zuko sat down to eat as she handed him a bowl of soup. Scooping soup for herself then sitting next to him. “What happened?”

___ ate some of her soup before looking at the flames flicker. “Where I’m from,” she started hesitantly, “as a girl, you get married at 16, have a child, but you can’t fight, only can you learn how to aid and heal others.

“My mother didn’t follow that path, she had me, outside of wedlock and kept me secret from everyone but our maid and my nanny. My mom was higher up in politics, working long hours, but when she came home, she’d send home my nanny and the maid, and it would be just us. She doted on me, loved me, but above all, I was still a secret, no one outside of our home knew I existed, not even my father.

“I was about 8 or so when I begged and cried for her to take me shopping with her. I hadn’t been allowed outside of the house and I was tired of being a good girl and staying all cooped up. After what seemed like days, she finally agreed. Everyone stared at me as I clung to her, I was so excited but scared of everyone eyeing me.

“While we were at a store, getting me some new clothes, a man ran up to my mother. Panting as if he ran with all his force, my mother hid me behind her. They argued quietly for a bit before my mom let me come out and introduced me to the man. Saying he was my father. The man broke down crying then hugged me like I’d disappear if he let go.

“Once we were home, my mom explained to me that she never told my father about me, and when the town saw me, someone told him that his ex was walking around with a child that looked like him. She explained to me that to get where she was in her career, she couldn’t let a scandal like me out. She told me that if I wanted, I could go to school with other kids and see my father more to get to know him.

“At the time I was just happy to have the opportunity to finally make friends and have a dad. A few years passed and my parents eventually got married and we lived like a true family.”

___ had a smile the whole story until now, her face fell a bit.

“My parents, being important members of our nation, were sent on a mission. They never returned. I don’t really know what happened to them, but it’s one of two things. Either Fire Nation got them, or nature did. I think it was nature, we had a very harsh winter that year and I never saw any soot in the sky, my mom and dad were supposed to stay close to home.

“So, I was an orphan, but more than that I was angry at nature, the world. I wanted to learn how to fight and get strong. I begged the master and our council and even attempted to fight the master.

“Of course, having no training nor good stamina, I got beat down again and again, over a week. One day, an elder came to me, telling me I’d taunted and tainted our traditions. If I was willing to let go of my anger I could stay home, but if I continued to be brash and try to fight, I would need to leave as my anger and thoughts were not welcome there.

“So, I left, with very little, and all the money my mother and father had.”

___ stopped, getting herself and Zuko more soup. After a few moments, she sighed softly as she could feel Zuko’s eyes on her, silently asking her to continue.

“I went back a couple of years after I left and they could tell I had become a fighter, on my own. Because of that, I was forbidden to come home, to even enter the walls. I was sent away and I haven’t looked back.”

“Where are you from?” Zuko asked softly, but she didn’t answer, she simply added some wood to the fire. “You know where I’m from, tell me.” Zuko tried to persuade her.

“The North Pole,” she spat the words while poking the fire.

“Are you a waterbender?”

She chuckled dryly, “not a very good one. But I can fight, I know chi blocking, heal a bit, and I have very good senses, they are heightened. Which is how I heard you coming before.”

“I didn’t know the North Pole was like that, it seems, so sexist,” he whispered while glancing at her before handing her a cup of water.

“I didn’t have the happiest childhood, but not the worst, the war didn’t affect me until I left home. I’ve seen the devastation, so I made it my will to help everyone I can.”

“But why would you help me, I’m Fire Nation, I’m the prince.”

“You are as affected by the Fire Nation as the rest of the world. You were a child speaking with worry about your citizens with care and goodwill. For it, you were burned and banished for showing weakness, for showing loyalty and love to your father. At least when you were a kid, you were banished for trying to be good. I was banished for following my anger.” ___ gave him a soft smile, and it made his heart hammer.

“No one has ever said I was good,” he murmured.

“You have a dysfunctional family, the only good one is your uncle. It took him a while and pain to find his way. I know you’ll find your way.”

“I just want my throne, my home, my country, my honor.”

“I’m going to say something and I suggest you think about it.”

“Just spit it out already, oh wise one,” Zuko said sarcastically.

“No one can take your honor. No one can take your birthright from you. You need to take it back; you don’t have to earn and prove yourself to anyone. Who are you? Who do you want to be? What do you want out of life, for yourself? Look inside yourself and ask yourself the hard questions. Stop living up to the person someone wants you to be, be yourself, the best version of you. Because no one can take that from you, no one can be you, but you.”

Zuko glared at the fire internalizing her words. “You sound like my uncle,” he said bitterly. “But with less nonsense and straight to the point.”

“Still I guess my words can sound like nonsense if I’m not careful,” she laughed softly. “Come one, it’s time for bed.”

Zuko sighed softly before helping ___ pick up the campsite and put out the fire. She cleaned up the dishes and put them away, going into the tent.

“Hey, Zuko, it’s getting colder outside. Would you like to sleep inside or at least have a sleeping bag?” She asked while putting a blanket on to the ostrich-horse who was lying down next to the tent.

Zuko stared at the ground for a moment, it was colder last night, and although the sleeping bag would be nice, the shelter would be better.

“You’re furrowing your brow, thinking about it so much,” she laughed slightly before poking the bunched-up skin in-between his eyebrows. He glared at her slightly, “Since your debating, let me throw in another option. You can do both, have a sleeping bag, and come inside.” ___ gave him a soft smile; his heart did an odd twist at her smile.

“Okay,” he looked away from her and walked into the tent. It was definitely warmer inside, probably because of the foliage she had around it.

He saw her cot in the back and near one of the walls, she’d already laid out the bag for him nearby. ___ came in and started tidying up a bit more, putting some more things into a large backpack.

“What’s the backpack for?” He’d seen it here and there; within the days he’d been there.

“Oh, this is my necessities bag, so if I’m attacked or something happens, I can grab this bag and run. I’d have the most important things so I can start over.”

“That’s a very good idea,” he mumbled softly before sitting down on the sleeping bag. “So, what are you teaching me tomorrow? I’ve learned fishing, gutting and deboning the fish, brine and curing, identifying good and bad berries and herbs, and today the baskets.”

“I actually need to go into town tomorrow,” she said while taking off her heavier clothes. “I haven’t been in a couple of months. I’m a bit low on rice and potatoes. The blacksmith was supposed to make me a heavy-duty pan like the one I make soup in. Plus, I need to sell some things. Like baskets, cured meats and fish, I made some jewelry last month, I should sell that too.” ___ continued, but it seemed more so like she was rambling to herself.

“So, what am I supposed to do?” Zuko groaned.

“Come with me, I usually stay there for a week or so when I go. I do things around town, helping people, earning money. I’ll teach you some labor stuff, so when you leave and are on the road again. You’ll know how to look for things to fix, to get a free meal, supplies, or even money; if they have it.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Well, I’ve been here in this spot for about 2 years, I will probably be leaving soon, but there are two good towns here. I’ve been helping towns for about 4 years. I was wandering and learning to fight for about 2 years before settling down. You know, learning about plants and stuff too.”

“So, you’ll just leave this place for a week and come back.”

“Yeah I usually go every month into town, but,” she trailed off while getting into bed.

“But?”

“So, there's this guy, he’s nice and all, but he’s not my type, just a little too,” she paused for a moment before getting the right wording. "Complacent. I want to travel again someday, move around as I wish. He wants to just stay in one place his whole life. He’s been very flirty lately and I just don’t want him to bother me. Nor do I want to nicely put him down and give him any hope. He’s kinda too confident for his own good, which can also be annoying.”

“Oh,” Zuko mumbled. ___ is attractive, even to him, and her kind heart is very enduring. “How often does that happen to you?”

“Not much. I try not to let anyone be too friendly, because I won’t be around long. Nor do I want to make a good friend and feel conflicted about exploring my life.”

“What if you loved them?”

“I don’t know. You can’t plan who you love. But I would hope they would want to travel with me, or at least be willing to in the future, once the war ends.”

“You seem so sure the war will end.”

“I am,” she stated calmly.

“How?” Zuko asked.

___ yawned, “it’s a story to tell another day.” She rolled over facing away from him.

Zuko groaned and lied down annoyed.

“Goodnight Zuko,” she mumbled softly.

“Night ___,” he grumbled.

Wind was whipping at the tent, waking Zuko, he sat up to look over at ___ to see how she could sleep through this noise. But he was shocked to see her cot empty. He gently lit a flame in his hand and called out her name, but got no reply. He got out of the sleeping bag and went outside to look for her.

He looked about the general area of the campsite, but couldn’t see her. Eventually, he wandered towards the nearby river and froze when he saw ___ standing in the middle of it.

___ was elegantly moving water, wearing a beautiful white dress that flowed and moved with her. Pushing, pulling, and swirling the water all around her, polished and gentle. There was no strength, just graceful movements. Zuko had only fought waterbenders, he never saw the beauty in it as he did now.

As she slowed her movements she looked up at the full moon, with her face in the luminescence he could see tears streaming down her face. His heart tightened at the sight, he could almost feel how much pain and desolation she felt even with the distance between them.

___ slowly sat down in the water, curling her knees into her chest, resting her head on the tops of her knees. A few moments passed when the water started to glow around her, illuminating all the water around her. The glowing water slowly consumed her; ___ lifted her head as the water reached her neck. Zuko could see her taking a deep breath, preparing for the void.

The sight was unsettling as she was engulfed, vanishing along with the glow of water. Zuko wanted to jump in after her but his confusion as to why she would let it happen kept him in place. He came back to his senses realizing he could barely hear with the wind because the sound of his blood was pounding within his body.

Zuko slowly sat down on the ground trying to calm down, as his heart calmed, he could hear the wind did too. He could only think of Zhao, who had been taken by the ocean spirit. What spirit wanted ___ and why?

While contemplating, the river started to glow again. Zuko watched intently as he could start to make out ___’s body within the water, pushing her gently up onto the riverbank. She was motionless, Zuko scrambled to his feet and ran to her side. Being closer he could see she was breathing slowly. She was dry, the water didn’t drown her, it simply took her and returned her. But why?

___ took a deep breath while exhaling her eyes opened and the same glow as the water was there, briefly. Zuko was lost for words, as their eyes locked.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was soft but raspy as if she’d been sleeping.

“You weren’t in bed, so I came looking for you. What happened to you?”

___ sat up slowly looking away from him, clearly debating on what to say, depending on how much he saw, “how long have you been here?”

“A while,” Zuko answered a bit curt, he wanted answers, not more questions.

She stood up slowly, Zuko mirrored her warily and cautious as she looked weak. She wobbled a bit, Zuko quickly wrapped his arms around her.

“Are you okay?” Even though he was annoyed and curious, he was also concerned.

“I’m vastly drained,” she rested her head against his shoulder. Although he stiffened a bit, it was pleasant to him, he welcomed the feeling while tightening his arms around her. Something about this just felt so accurate, he rested his cheek on top of her head. Soon her weight started to drift onto him more and her breathing slowed.

“___?” Zuko called her gently, but when she didn’t answer. He gingerly scooped her up into his arms, carrying her back to her bed.

Author’s Note: I haven’t wrote a story with intent to make it visible in a long time. So new work 2020, I refell in love with Zuko, like a lot of people did with the resurface of Avatar being on Netflix, I’ve watched it three times now, aha. Fanfiction wasn’t a part of my life/world when it first came out when I watched it. But Avatar did launch me into my love of anime, and from there I eventually found fanfics, then started writing them. I feel very late to post a Zuko fic, but this story has been in my head ever since I rewatched it, the first time. So, hopefully, someone is craving more Zuko fics like me and they’ll enjoy this with me <3

#zuko x reader #zuko/reader #avatar zuko #fanfic #fic #fanfiction #avatar the last airbender #atla #atla fic #zuko fic #zuko avatar #lalahbug #guidance series #lalah writes #reader insert #xreader #self insert #fire lord zuko #firelord zuko

341 notes · View notes

sevlgi · 4 years

Text

drinks first

requested: yes

group: mamamoo

pairing: hwasa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: mafia!hwasa, stripper!reader

warnings: violence, alcohol consumption

synopsis: A strip club is the least likely place to meet a girl, but Hwasa’s used to unlikely situations.

a/n: I wish this could’ve been longer, but I’m dealing with some stuff right now, so I hope you still enjoy :(

word count: 1.9k

When Byulyi said she knew someplace to unwind, Hyejin definitely didn’t expect to be brought to a strip club.

As mafia employees, Hyejin and Byulyi frequent enough shady places as it is, though this particular strip club looks particularly dangerous. Even with the cold metal of the gun digging into her skin under the waistband of her pants, Hyejin can’t help eyeing the burly bouncers everywhere warily.

Byulyi brushes the back of her hand against her colleague’s, giving the younger woman a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I know people who work here. It’s safe.”

“It doesn’t look safe.”

“You’re pretty easily scared for a mafia employee, you know,” Byulyi teases, passing through the open doors with a simple nod at a bouncer.

Hyejin rolls her eyes to disguise how impressed she is at Byulyi’s influence. The older woman is, of course, more influential than she is, but it’s still decently interesting how many connections she has. “I’m not scared.”

The inside of the club looks even shadier than the outside; despite the scantily clothed girls mopping the counters, the bar is covered in grime, as are the scarred men who sit there. 2 of the 5 small stages are occupied, though one of the girls is already picking up the money on the floor.

Byulyi immediately beelines for the bar, which isn’t exactly surprising. “Wheein, hey.”

A pretty brunette girl with dimples looks up and smiles, ignoring the men hanging on to her every word. “Byul! Good to see you’re not dead. And you are?”

Eyebrows raised, Hyejin looks at her colleague for an explanation. “She used to be in… our business. You know. Wheein, this is Hyejin.” Turning back to the petite girl behind the counter, Byulyi asks, “Is Solar off yet?”

Wheein tilts her head towards the stage. “Almost. Y/N’s preparing to start, though, so you should stay.”

“Y/N?” Hyejin feels completely lost, though it’s not unusual for her to feel that way, as the newest member of the mafia she works for. She’s used to it by now.

The girl behind the bar smiles again, pointing to one of the stages. “Over there, the girl in the sparkly outfit? She’s our most popular, for a reason.”

“Y/N’s beautiful,” Byulyi agrees, leaning against the counter. “Do you want to stay and watch, Hyejin?”

Despite the loud pounding in her head telling her that she should say no, that being in this club is definitely dangerous, Hyejin shrugs and accepts the drink Wheein holds out. “Sure. I’ll stay.”

With a grin, the older woman waves to Wheein and grabs Hyejin by the arm. “Good choice. You won’t regret it, I swear.”

As the two of them near the stage, Hyejin’s breath catches in her throat at the sight of you. The sparkling, skin-tight outfit you wear and smoky makeup make you look absolutely ethereal, your skin shimmering golden from every angle. As Byulyi guides her to sit, Hyejin’s eyes are glued to your face, trying to take in every detail of yours.

When you start to dance, she’s completely starstruck, not just by your movements, but by the occasional smiles you throw to the crowd gathered to watch you. Each quirk of your lips, each tiny flick of your tongue, makes everyone go wild, including her.

Your 30 minutes ends too fast, and Hyejin finds herself wanting to keep watching you even as you wave and blow kisses to the crowd, hands stuffed with money. “Come on, let’s go backstage,” Byulyi sighs, tugging Hyejin up. “I have a… special relationship with one of the dancers.”

It turns out to be a very special relationship, as a gorgeous dyed-blonde girl immediately pecks Byulyi on the lips as soon as she makes her way backstage. Hyejin fights a smile at her older colleague’s blush. “ Hyejin, this is Solar.”

Solar smiles and shakes Hyejin’s hand, but she’s obviously not just a dancer, since her eyes manage to catch on the slight outline of Hyejin’s gun. “Solar to club-goers only, you can call me Yongsun. Ah, and this is Y/N!”

Hyejin finds herself almost unable to speak when she sees you, your smile shimmering with remnants of glitter. You’ve thrown on a jacket over the sparkly stage ensemble, and you stick out a hand to shake. “I saw you in the audience, I hope you enjoyed the show?”

“I did.” The words sound breathless, and Solar and Byulyi giggle slightly in the background. Clearing her throat, Hyejin says again, “You’re a good dancer.”

“Thank you.” It might just be her imagination, but Hyejin thinks your eyes linger on her lips for a little longer than necessary. “The gun’s not necessary, you know.”

A beat of silence passes, and you smile again, shaking your head. ”I’m sorry, you have the right to your firearm. It’s probably safer this way, since-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence, as a gunshot rings through the crowd, screams echoing after it. To be honest, Hyejin’s intrigued by the way that neither you or Solar flinch at the noise.

“Dammit,” Solar sighs, raking a hand through her hair. “What do we even hire these bouncers for? Byul, you have a gun?”

The older woman nods, tugging on Hyejin’s sleeve. “Come on, Hyejin. Let’s deal with this.”

Flashing a quick smile to you, Hyejin lets herself be led away. If she’s not mistaken, she hears you say the word ‘hot’ to Solar, and her smile only gets larger as she pulls out her gun.

“Well. Today was a disaster.”

You survey the police officers handcuffing the shooters with your arms crossed, lower lip jutting out in thought. Hyejin stands beside you with her hand still on her concealed gun, though you don’t look like a dancer any more with most of your makeup wiped off and an oversized shirt on.

“Not a total disaster.”

Raising an eyebrow, you turn to Hyejin with a wry smile. “Well, nobody got shot. We will have to replace the bar counter, but that’s probably for the best.”

Hyejin smiles too, shaking her head. “That’s not what I mean. We met today, right? I think that qualifies as something good.”

“Smooth,” you comment, a laugh escaping your lips. It sounds like music to Hyejin, however cliche it sounds. “You seem young to be working with Byul. She brings all the new recruits here, but I’ve never met one as young and pretty as you, even with the scratch on your face.”

“You make me blush,” Hyejin sighs, placing her free hand on her chest mockingly. You chuckle again, and Hyejin smiles just at the sound of it, though the scratch on her face stings a bit. “Kidding. I’m fairly new, so I don’t have too much to do yet.”

Solar suddenly calls out your name, and you nod at her before turning back to Hyejin . “I gathered. Well, I’ve got to go, but if you’re free, come and find me sometime. It’s rare to find someone so pretty and yet so brave.”

You leave her with a light touch on her arm, just the tiniest smudge of eyeshadow left on the fabric of Hyejin’s sleeve, and another enigmatic smile.

Damn. She’s in deep.

Hyejin isn’t able to visit the strip club again for another week.

First off, being a mafia employee definitely doesn’t pay well enough to support her, especially not at the level she’s at currently, so she still works a part-time job. Second of all, Byulyi really goes hard with training.

When she finally got the time to visit you, Hyejin managed to forget the name of the club and had to beg her older colleague for the address.

Finally, a week later, Hyejin arrives. The bouncers don’t give her trouble, but that’s probably because Wheein waves her through. “Hyejin, right? Welcome back,” the older girl smiles, making her way behind the newly renovated bar. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Ah, a vodka soda?” she answers absentmindedly, eyes scanning the room for you. You’re nowhere to be seen, although Hyejin can see Solar spinning on one of the poles. “Hey, do you know if Y/N’s here today?”

Wheein looks up without pausing her pouring, dimples appearing again. “Hm, maybe. Why?”

Hyejin scowls, accepting the drink while simultaneously giving Wheein a glare. “Hush. I just want to see her, but she probably doesn’t work here all week, right?”

The petite girl shakes her head. “No, Y/N only works here part time, but she’s taking a break now, in case you were hoping to watch her. She’ll be out soon.”

“Okay. I can wait.” While she waits for you to finish up, Hyejin halfheartedly watches some of the other dancers, though her eyes keep snagging on Solar and the tricks she does on the pole.

It takes roughly 20 minutes for you to pop out of the back rooms, leftover glitter still shimmering on your eyelids and red staining your mouth. “Wheein, the regular drink, please. Oh,” you say, noticing Hyejin. “Hey there. Hyejin, yeah?”

Nodding, the other girl corrects, “Hyejin. I only use Hwasa to protect my identity, but I don’t think you’re any threat to that.”

“Well, you never know,” you grin, thanking Wheein. “I’m more dangerous than I look.”

“I can tell. You didn’t even flinch at the gunshot last time I was here,” Hyejin remarks, sipping at her drink. “Does that happen often?”

You shrug, watching Solar indifferently. “Sometimes. People get angry when some of us refuse their offers. You know. You handled it well, though, I can see why Byulyi thinks so highly of you.”

“Does she?”

“Yeah.” Your smile is just as charming as Hyejin remembered, eyes twinkling. “You’re good for a new recruit, she says. And I trust Byul’s judgement.”

“You’re awfully chill with this whole mafia thing,” Hyejin chuckles, placing her empty glass on the counter. “Why is that?”

You frown, fingers playing with the rim of your own glass. “Experience, I guess. Besides, I find it’s easier to date you mafia people when I don’t freak out about it.”

“Who said anything about dating?” Hyejin jokes, smiling when you laugh lightly. “But I can see that. The last girlfriend I had bolted when I told her I joined the mafia.”

“Well.” Leaning closer, you give Hyejin a smirk that should honestly be illegal for how much faster it makes her heart beat. “I definitely won’t do that. If you ask me out for dinner sometime, of course.”

“Is that your subtle way of telling me you’re interested?” Hyejin laughs, thankful when you lean back again. At least her heart calms down. “How about drinks first, somewhere a little less shady than this.”

Wheein, who was probably listening the whole time behind the two of you, protests, “Rude! But I can’t blame you.”

You chuckle, taking your jacket off and hanging it over the back of your chair. “Well, I’ve got to go on stage again soon, but would you guard this jacket for me until I get off? Won’t be long.”

“Of course,” Hwasa smiles, watching you leave. Just before you leave, you toss a smile over your shoulder and Hwasa’s heart thuds again.

Drinks first, indeed.

185 notes · View notes

theloniousbach · 3 years

Text

ON BEING KIM: LABOR WEEKEND SENTIMENTAL JOURNEYS

My canceled flight to Denver precludedme from celebrating my dear friend Jim Hubbell, pictured here at his wedding with Jim Snyder in the right who sent this picture evidently on display at the memorial.

Had I been there, I would have said something like this. I regret that I am not seeing Alison Gwinn, Troy Ps, Becky Hubbell, and Dru Rachaner among others:

FOR JIM

I met Jim Hubbell on the first day of junior high school. A new situation for all of us but particularly him. Whereas about half of us had gone to elementary school, he had moved to 66th Terrace as his mother and Lorence Gregg moved there with their combined families. I probably made a point of including him (old Kim does that reflexively, maybe young Kim started it then).

So we were friends in 1967 and we started talking and talking and talking. Through it all we discovered live rock concerts, the Grateful Dead, James Joyce and somewhat later PG Wodehouse. Jim had an electric guitar and smoked cigarettes and I got to hang out with the band he was in Fast Eddie and the Juicers.

We discovered beer together and the tradition of The Basement at my house started the night we found out that we were National Merit Semi-Finalists and said, “let’s celebrate!” From then on, we and a gang (I did try to include folks and expand the conversation) listened to music, talked deeply/pretentiously as only too smart for our own good teenagers can as we tried to figure out the world, laughed at our own jokes. Jim was a fixture, the person I counted on bright there.

We went to Europe together in 1975–study abroad without classes. I turned 20 in Florence which I know he brought his youngish family to for a sabbatical. He got a sabbatical while my quixotic academic career meant that I didn’t.

Despite all indications to the contrary from The Basement Days, we each somehow got married and were reciprocal Best Men at one another’s weddings in late 1983/early 1984. We even became fathers at the same time roughly in 1986.

When Troy turned 16 and was eager to drive, Jim recalled The Basement Days and all the fun times we had with cars at that age but that if Troy did even one of the things we did, he wouldn’t be driving until he was 35. So, hey, Troy, how is driving school going? When do you take the test?

We saw one another mostly in KC over the holidays. I got to join the Hubbell/Gregg holiday open house for many years and remember them fondly for the warmth that was part of Jim’s bedrock.

We saw too little of one another was the kids grew, our lives changed, our careers developed (Jim’s)/meandered (mine).

I was in Denver in the early 2010s and saw Jim for the last time. He was tentative in a new way beyond the deference that was always there. So his Alzheimer’s diagnosis was both bitter and revelatory.

I did my best to hang in there thinking that our primordial memories might be among the last to go. So I wrote letters to celebrate Jim things. Later in 2019, I wrote a series of reminiscences on the 50 years of going to concerts that he started. I called too infrequently.

I am grateful that Troy and Alison FaceTimed me in on that last day. It was hard to see those guitarist’s hands pulled up in an almost palsied way, but, as Alison said throughout those last months, Jim was always in there with his kind, sweet disposition.

However agonizingly the higher functions of his brain that I treasured were stolen away, it always was that essence that mattered. That’s what we celebrate today. That’s why there are so many facets of Jim’s life gathered together today.

I so wish I could be there with you and here YOUR Jim stories.

TO SANTA FE

My other sentimental journey of the weekend did succeed!

I saw my mother for the first time in 18 months. When I drove away from Kansas City in mid-March 2020, the world was heading into lockdown and COVID-19 was not kind to the elderly. Plus we’d decided that weekend that we would move her to Santa Fe where my sister lives.

What could go wrong? Actually much less than I feared. But at the time, I didn’t think it likely that I’d see her again.

But I did. The 18 months have been hard on her and most things get lost over the telephone. So this was a chance to say needful things. It won’t be another 18 months, but we could acknowledge that, if this is the last time, we have mutually appreciative closure. And if we get another chance , we’ll savor it.

This is a huge and welcome step. “Can’t upset Mother with awkward realities” has been standard operating procedure for a long long time.

I’m relieved with this development.

#2021 #on being Kim

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hetacon · 4 years

Text

For Humanity’s Sake

Word Count: 2,668

Pairings: Platonic Moxiety, Background platonic LAMP, Background Romantic Logicality, Background Romantic Prinxiety

Warning: Swearing, physical fighting (really light, it’s one punch), bullying, crying, so so much Patton angst but I swear Virgil makes him happy

______________________________

Summary: Patton has a hard time making friends.

______________________________

By no means was Virgil seen as a kind person to all of his high school. While he was definitely the lone wolf type, he got more involved in getting into others’ business than he should have.

He got into fights basically.

He picked unnecessary fights, got into plenty of trouble, and was in detention fairly often. His parents didn’t seem to care if their son was a delinquent because outside of school, he was no more harmful than your average person.

The difference came with Patton. Patton Hart, Virgil’s best and, frankly, only friend. Well, now, he’d had some others before getting involved with Patton.

Patton Hart was definitely not the most normal of people, not that it was in any way a bad thing. He was cheerful, loved to laugh and talk for hours, sang to himself as he did chores, doodled all over his notes, made silly jokes, anything he darn well felt like doing. He had anxiety that could very well near rival Virgil’s own and that was damn impressive in and of itself. Despite this, he wasn’t very well liked.

See, even with how kind and sociable Patton tended to be, many people found him rather off putting. For one reason or another, if there was a word that people would use to describe Patton, it was this: annoying.

And if that didn’t make Virgil’s blood boil.

Since early childhood, Patton had always been sweet and talkative, going on for hours about his interests, talking about anything and everything he wanted to with a happy demeanor about him. Even then, he didn’t have friends. His mother would tell him that she always saw him as the type to get along with everyone and that everyone liked but Virgil knew Patton saw himself as pretty obnoxious. The other kids only played with him because they were in the same class as him. He was with the same 20 or so kids for 7 years, kindergarten to 6th, and not a single one of them really enjoyed him being there. It was only a nicety if anything.

Patton managed to make some friends in junior high due to common interests but this turned out more than disastrous than Patton would’ve dared to imagine. By high school, he started to realize just how little people actually wanted to talk to him so he started to keep his mouth shut whenever possible.

Virgil Knight completely destroyed that behavior as Patton instantly clicked in a way neither had ever experienced.

For one thing, Virgil actually listened to Patton as he went on long and exhaustingly winding stories, talking up a storm something fierce that Virgil wondered how Patton had ever managed to stay quiet about all of the thoughts running through his head.

Another thing was that they shared a few common interests, the first of which had brought them together being a really obscure movie from 1991. Patton was really into discussing the character growth, psychoanalysis of the characters, the time period and history, and everything in between of their common interests and while it was a bit harder for Virgil to express it to that extent, he listened to what Patton rambled about with no complaint.

One of Patton’s favorites though was that Virgil actually took the time and effort to encourage Patton to talk about the things he wanted to talk about and do the things he wanted to do. It was something special for them both.

Virgil loved Patton with every inch of his heart and he didn’t hesitate for a single second to remind people of that.

Clearly that was going to happen right now, Virgil thought to himself as one of his friends started to ask a question.

“Hey, dude, why do you even hang out with Patton? He’s not really your...” his friend hesitated, sucking in a breath. “I dunno, your style I guess.”

Virgil looked up from his lunch, mid-bite as he held his sandwich in his hands. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked a bit cooly, his language not really showing much animosity to it. But oh boy, if things were going where he thought they were-

“Virge, you’re like, his only friend, doesn’t that say something to you? How do you know he isn’t a shitty person or has serious issues or something? I wouldn’t trust him,” another person from the table spoke up.

“You don’t have to trust him or like him, you can’t please everyone. I do though, all that matters to me really. Patton’s not your friend? Chill, means I have no competition for the best friend title,” Virgil hummed out lowly, taking another bite of his sandwich.

A silence fell over the table before finally, someone seemed to say what everyone else was thinking. “Virgil, you know everyone finds him kind of obnoxious right? I mean, he’s always so loud, he clings to you like a lost puppy, and he literally doesn’t know when to shut up. He’s frankly kinda weak, who even needs to be that emotional, dude? Patton’s honestly psycho.”

Virgil’s fist slammed into his face and he was on the table, leaning over to tower over the person in front of him. His hand gripped at his friend’s shirt tightly, watching with a snarl as his friend shrank back a bit, eyes wide and clearly shocked.

“You’re going to shut the fuck up about Patton. He doesn’t have friends because shitheads like you guys can’t understand why someone would love life so much. He is not annoying, he is not weak, and he is not fucking psycho. He enjoys things, he wants to express his emotions rather than cower behind an act like an actual wimp, and he’s my best friend,” Virgil growled out. He snapped his head up to see everyone in the cafeteria looking at his table and he shoved his friend back roughly, standing on the table as he started to yell. “Patton Hart is the best person I could ever ask to be friends for and if you have a problem with business that isn’t yours to talk about, you take it up with me! You got a problem with him? You’re dealing with me before anything else and I will not stop for a single second! Fuck all of you!!”

With that, he clamored off the table, grabbing his food and backpack before storming out, catching Patton’s wrist as his friend was about to enter the cafeteria door he came out of.

“Woah Virgil, slow down!” Patton laughed, running to Virgil’s side, moving Virgil’s hand to hold his. “What’s going on?”

“People suck,” Virgil scowled before his expression softened. “How was tutoring?” he asked gently, kissing Patton’s temple. He smiled to himself in satisfaction as Patton practically lit up.

“Good, just needed a little refresher before tomorrow’s test is all,” Patton told him.

“You meet up with that guy in your class you like?” he asked, smiling a bit as Patton leaned his head on Virgil’s shoulder.

Patton turned a little pink and nodded. “Yeah, he was super sweet about it even if it was a silly reason to get tutoring.”

“My best friend is silly,” Virgil hummed. “But that’s just how I like him~”

_____

Things didn’t get better for Patton as Virgil saw. Not that he exactly expected things to magically get better, for people to understand Patton overnight, and for Patton to have as many friends as humanly possible. But this was ridiculous, truly.

People started to stare at both of them, especially Patton. People wouldn’t even talk to Patton during his classes, at least the ones that knew what was going on. It didn’t seem to affect Patton too much but there were definitely moments, as was happening tonight.

Virgil had invited Patton over for a sleepover weeks ago and was getting everything ready when he heard a knock on the door, hurrying to get it.

Patton was a mess. He didn’t have his glasses for one thing, his clothes were rumpled and messy, and most noticeably was his hair, tangled and tousled unrelentingly, a wad of gum stuck in it. Patton looked close to tears and Virgil just hugged him tightly before ushering him in.

The first part of their evening was spent with Patton laying his head in Virgil’s lap as they watched The Rescuers, Virgil’s hand working through Patton’s hair with a trusty handful of peanut butter. By the end of the movie, the gum was out, Patton had calmed down a little, and Virgil sent him off to take a shower.

Patton came back from the shower a bit later, already in his pjs as Virgil set up for another movie. The night mostly went alright and Virgil was just getting to sleep at 2 in the morning when he heard Patton get you and shuffle over to his bed.

It was silent, Patton didn’t say anything and was turning back when Virgil spoke up.

“Pat?” Virgil whispered softly, grabbing his friend’s wrist.

Patton sniffled. “Yeah?”

“C’mere, you’re sleeping with me tonight.”

There was no hesitation for Patton and within seconds, he was shaking and sobbing into Virgil’s shirt. Virgil could do nothing but rub his back and let him cry. That seemed to be enough for Patton.

_____

“Hey Virgil, have you thought about joining GSA by any chance..?” Patton asked one day at lunch, taking a bite of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Virgil looked over to him before thinking, throwing his legs over Patton’s lap.

“Nah.”

“How come?”

“Just haven’t, you goof,” Virgil said, his eyebrow raised. “If you want an answer why I wouldn’t, it’s overrated if I’m not with you and I know you’re not planning on it.”

“But what if I did?”

“Do you?”

“... No.”

Virgil snorted and leaned over to kiss Patton’s forehead. “I have made the executive decision that this school’s gonna have a super exclusive GSA club, headed by the wonderful and responsible club president Patton Hart.”

“And who are the members of this club, Virge?” Patton asked, moving to snuggle into Virgil’s side.

“You and me, that’s all we need. Two gay as shit disasters, no one else matters in my opinion,” Virgil told him, resting his head against Patton’s while silence settled over them for a bit.

“What do we do at club meetings?”

“Talk about gay shit.”

“Does Logan count?”

“You bet your pining ass that Mandel counts.”

“Then Roman does too!”

“We’re gossiping basically then.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what’s happening.”

“Eh, fair enough.”

_____

Patton was currently playing video games with Virgil and as he fell off Rainbow Road, sighed.

“What’s up?” Virgil asked, still focused on the game.

“What do you mean?” Patton asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That was your pensive sigh, not your Virgil-is-kicking-my-ass-in-Mario-Kart sigh. So what’s up?” Virgil chuckled.

“You ever just... Realize that people suck?”

“They really do, screw ‘em if they can’t take a joke, am I right?” Virgil joked, finishing off the race.

“We should watch Mamma Mia, I hope you know what you’ve done,” Patton smiled, finishing the course too. “You’re even worse than Roman with the musical references sometimes!”

“You take that back!” Virgil exclaimed, tackling Patton to the couch, smacking him with a pillow.

Patton laughed loudly and pulled Virgil down on top of him, snuggling into his best friend.

Virgil’s heart melted and he hugged on to Patton tightly. “Dear god, you’re too cute for your own good, c’mere you cuddlebug,” he muttered, happy to feel Patton relax in his hold.

_____

“Soooooo lemme get this straight, Patton-“

“Good luck with that!” Patton giggled, causing Virgil to lightly push him with a snort.

“Shut up,” he said with no malice, kissing his friend’s hair. “You asked him to go over a bit of the math work you guys got assigned and he without prompt just asked you if you wanted to meet up for coffee to do so?”

“Yeeeeep!”

“Shut up you beautiful embodiment of sunshine and rainbows, you got a study date with Logan!!” Virgil shouted, shaking a very giggly Patton.

“It’s not much but it’s spending time with him, yeah? He’s still talking to me, even if it’s about school a lot of the time.. He could..” Patton paused, smiling to himself. “He could maybe be my friend, right? Do you think he would?”

“He’s not a complete blockhead like every single dumbass in this school, he’s gonna like you,” Virgil said with a smile, hugging Patton tighter in his lap.

“Well, as the Patton and Virgil GSA meeting demands, we must now hear from our resident emo about his blockhead!” Patton teased, kissing Virgil’s cheek.

Virgil laughed and hummed. “Good grief, who made you in charge?”

“You!”

“Oh that’s right, my mistake!” Virgil joked, receiving a punch to the arm. “Roman’s been doing a good job, had his whole script memorized today when most everyone else only had half. I just worked on the sets while they were rehearsing but he came over to talk with me when he didn’t have any more scenes. Still as stupid as I like ‘im though!”

“We clearly like two men at the opposite ends of the spectrum, huh?” Patton asked.

“Yep, absolutely. A total nerd and a moron. Strange combo. Think they’d get along?”

“Only one way to find out!” Patton hummed in a sing-song tone, offering half of his pasta to Virgil.

_____

Virgil glanced over to the front door of Logan’s house as Patton was revealed on the other side. Logan was quick to give Patton a kiss and greeted him.

“Wow, your house is really nice, Loggie!” Patton said, looking around.

“Patton!!!” a loud voice squealed from behind Virgil, Roman barreling towards Patton and Logan. He practically tackled Patton to the ground and Patton laughed loudly and fully. “I missed you so so so much! Never leave me alone for a single minute ever again!” Virgil’s boyfriend whined, hugging Patton tighter.

“Roman!” Patton laughed out, hugging back tighter. “I’m never going anywhere! You can’t make me leave, you’re stuck with me!”

“Mmm, perfect!” Roman exclaimed, picking Patton up to twirl him around.

As their antics continued, both of them talking excitedly about Patton’s job at the animal rescue center and Roman’s next show, Logan sat next to Virgil. Virgil watched his best friend and boyfriend talk excitedly for a bit, resting his head on Logan’s shoulder.

“You make him this happy you know,” Logan said quietly, wrapping his arm around Virgil’s shoulder.

“Dude, you’re his boyfriend,” Virgil retorted with a raised eyebrow.

Logan chuckled. “That I am. But you were his first and only friend for a long time. You’ve made him feel like he can take on the world just by being himself. It makes me very proud of the both of you.”

“I just treated him like a human being, you know?”

“Well, when you’ve been treated alien your whole life, it can make a world of difference for someone to see your humanity,” Logan explained, smiling a bit as Patton and Roman dragged Patton’s stuff in from his car.

Virgil smiled too as soon as Patton came back inside, still beaming with the force of a supernova. “He deserves every bit of humanity.”

Patton wasn’t treated well up until he was out of high school but looking at him now, Virgil knew all the fighting and arguments were worth it. Patton truly deserved everything the three of his friends could give him.

______________________________

Taglist: @virgils-paranoia, @marshmallow-the-panda, @anotheregofanficblog

#sanders sides #platonic moxiety #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #background platonic lamp #background logicality #background prinxiety #stan writing

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halorocks1214 · 4 years

Text

the law of relativity

AO3 Link

Word Count: 9963

Summary: The Law of Relativity states that each person will receive a series of problems (‘tests of initiation’) for the purpose of strengthening the ‘light’ within. We must consider each of these tests to be a challenge and remain connected to our hearts when proceeding to solve the problems. This law also teaches us to compare our problems to others’ problems and put everything into its proper perspective. No matter how bad we perceive our situation to be, there is always someone who is in a worse position. It is all relative

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | Virgil | You are here! | Gordon

WHY 👏🏼 CANT 👏🏼 I 👏🏼 WRITE 👏🏼 FICS 👏🏼 IN 👏🏼 MO 👏🏼 DER 👏🏼 RATION 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 also just bluuuergh. dont ask about this fic. part of it was written in a dark auditorium, another was written in a different state, another was written on a frickin bus, this fic has been places ill tell you what. half the time i think this is hot garbage and the other half i think its actually decent so im posting this while my head is in a good headspace and then promptly yeeting myself off the internet for a few hours to wait and see what happens. this series is becoming less of a canon divergence AU and more of a straight-up AU because of certain details im trying to worm in there buT IM TRYING MY BEST

thanks once more to @gumnut-logic, because of the length, this time i used three prompts, them being "What do you mean?", crease, and dream (and they werent even used that much sksksksk)

Warnings for both graphic and non-graphic depictions of violence, as well as mentions of torture and other PTSD/panic attack related stuff. I went deep with this one fellas

Orphan.

The word tasted dirty in his mouth.

He can still see the footage in the backs of his eyelids from when he watched it exactly one year ago. He was the only other (living) adult at the time in the family outside of Grandma, so he was permitted to see it. He remembered they originally didn’t want to show him, mainly because of his age, but Grandma was fierce, and she put one hell of an argument on the table.

One Scott refused to let fall through the cracks by breaking down. If only Grandma knew how he cried his eyes out and screamed to high heaven that night in the hotel room after essentially watching his father be blown to bloody smithereens then she was a goddamn saint for keeping it a secret. It made sense, she was the mother to his father. She had quite the line up of stories from Jeff’s childhood. Scott sensed the early-greying of his hair came from her, heh.

The rest of his family eventually saw it, of course, they did. Scott couldn’t shield them forever. What he will protect, selfishly he might add, was how angry he was at how much better they took it than he did. They cried, yes they did, but they never fully broke down like Scott did. Later in life, he wondered if it was jealousy: jealousy at not truly being able to let go. Whatever it was, he made sure to swallow it along with whatever alcohol he chose for the weekend.

Just add it to the ever-growing pile of shit he had to deal with. Nothing new.

Suddenly he’s 20 again and seated in a plane to be taken to his first stint in the Air Force. He said his goodbyes to Virgil, Gordon, and Alan back at home while Grandma and John metaphorically held his hand all the way to the airport. John was… quiet, more so than usual, but Grandma was stuck right in the middle between being a sobbing mess and ecstatic at the fine young man he’s become.

You’re just like your father. He would be proud.

Scott was secretly glad she never physically said it. It gave him plausible deniability in thinking that those words weren’t laced behind her big, bright, prideful eyes.

The first time went well, maybe even great. He stayed for a couple of months, did some flight tests, and while the training was brutal, boy did he learn a lot. When he came back home it was to a family slowly stitching itself back together. Grandma was a full-time house member, Virgil had taken up painting, Gordon talked about potentially going back to his swim meets, and while Alan was still as silent as ever, he was perkier than when Scott last saw him.

It would be on and off for the next few years: a couple of months at home, slowly and painfully taking over the role their father had (he can’t remember when he essentially received joint custody of his younger siblings with Grandma, but hey, he’s not complaining), then a couple of months out at the Air Force base where he slowly climbed up the ranking platform. He became skillful, perhaps too skillful. When he got his rank of Captain he felt it was less of an honor and more of something they owed him.

He was getting cocky. Never enough to be a danger to his fellow men, but enough to be somewhat of an occasional annoyance. Charles smacked him upside the head more than once. It felt like the world was right-side-up for once. Scott made many-a-calls to John and Virgil, the former enjoying his first few rotations up in space and the latter squarely in the middle of college. Gordon was being offered sponsorships to hell and back, and Alan was quietly getting along with the other kids at his school. Grandma was on welcoming duty for Kayo, who was taking her slot in the Tracy family with grace, though, a warning that their family would take custody of her if something were to happen to her parents would have been nice, Dad.

Of course, nothing ever goes right for their family for too long.

Orphan.

Age 24, it was supposed to be a simple retrieval mission of civilians. Scott was put in charge of his squad and then some. At night, they rolled-- well, flew out to get the job done. Scott can’t even remember the country anymore when minding his own business. Australia? Finland? Perhaps Bangladesh? There was a place John was insistent Scott never do rescues in, Virgil tended to agree, and the eldest unhealthily let them banish him from ever stepping foot there without argument. He could never remember the name off the top of his head until John’s familiar International Rescue, we have a situation rung out in the living room followed by the name of the country.

He would immediately forget it later, trauma too strong, too volatile, but the way his heart stopped and his head shattered and the way he felt ice water rush down his back was a good enough reason to quietly leave the room and let John delegate the job to one of his brothers. Sometimes John found him retching in the toilet halfway through the mission. He made sure to always mute Scott’s wrist communicator, even if it was never turned on in the first place.

The plane touched down. Orders sent the ground team out. But then the ground team took longer than estimated. Scott tensely waited where he was told to. It wasn’t the first mission that took a little longer than predicted and knowing humans, it surely wouldn’t be the last. Then, words mixed with heavy static came over the radio. H--p. Co-- ---7--. --nd ba---p --me--at--y.

Scott sat tensely in his seat, remembering his orders and suddenly hating them. Radio back to home if the mission goes south. Well, it didn’t look like they had the radio anymore. Still didn’t hurt to try at least. Scott spoke the familiar protocol that was ingrained into him when trying to call base. Dammit. Nothing. Probably some kind of blocker of sorts. Sitting up straight as a board, Scott looked through his options.

… He was in charge here. If something happened to his team the fault would lie squarely on his shoulders. Going against everything but his gut, he went out to help his squad. He can’t really remember what he exactly did anymore, but he does remember that it made a noise. Like a Looney Tunes scene: he flinched, froze, waited to see if anything or one heard, breathed a sigh of relief, and continued.

He eventually stumbled across one of his closest comrades, Arnold Brigeets. Yes, the name was ironic and half the reason he joined the force in the first place. The guy was one of the people that actually trained Scott and also seemed to be one of the few that was genuinely proud when Scott became a higher rank. It’s why Scott was more appreciative of Arnold than others, that, and well… Scott thought his fatherly abilities were good. The guy did have three kids back home.

Orphan.

Ducking down behind the cover his older friend was semi-situated behind, Scott watched as Arnold jumped at the intrusion before sighing. Scott had run into some enemies that he swiftly took down-- nothing too serious, he didn’t have the time or weapons for such an act, but they definitely would be out of it for a while-- so Arnold must have too on his way to find cover as well, hence why he was so on edge.

“Thank God,” Arnold wiped his forehead, “Glad to see you join us, kid.”

Scott was breathing heavily, but the grin he attempted was still there, “Y-Yeah, so what happened? More threats than we thought?”

Arnold shook his head, “Yes and no. There were a lot more baddies than we thought, but that’s because the civilians weren’t civilians. It’s a tr--”

Boom. The familiar sound of a gunshot.

Arnold fell over. Never got back up. Dropped like a rock in a lake, never to come up to the surface again.

Scott was so caught off guard he couldn’t react to the gun that swiftly beat him over the head, knocking him out cold. The only thing on his mind was oh fuck oh fuck I messed up I shouldn’t have come I wouldn’t have made any noise that way why did I--

They had him for roughly two weeks. Scott always thought the plotline in movies where the villain vehemently denied knowing any important information was dumb as hell. We’re not stupid. We wouldn’t go after someone if they didn’t know something.

The things they did hurt and no amount of I don’t fucking know anything! would help. Those two weeks were lost to Scott in a sea of pain and torment. The only thing he remembered was being captured, then waking up in a hospital drugged up to his gills with his superiors staring at him like he cured cancer.

“You saved the rest of your squad from sharing the same fate as the first half.”

“I-I did?”

“You betcha, son. I only wish I was there to see it! People be saying you were like an animal in how you took ‘em all down.”

Scott’s never remembered, and he wanted to keep it that way.

He was given the highest honors, even the chance to skip a couple of ranks to be at the same level as the big boys, but the night they were going to share the news to the golden boy himself, they found him in one of the bathrooms with a bloody hand and a mirror shattered with no hope of fixing it.

He was honorably discharged to a family that was so thankful he was home. Words like missing in action and POA never stopped haunting their nightmares. Scott was too, God, of course, he was, but sitting around and doing nothing was the last thing his traumatized mind wanted or maybe even needed. After doing what he considered to be the biggest fuck-up of his life, he needed to feel important.

This isn’t the first time he’ll say this and it surely won’t be the last: thank Christ for Grandma.

“You want me to take over?...”

“Yep, it’s about time Tracy Industries received a new pair of eyes. The Board certainly thinks so.”

“But… they’d rather have a crazy, PTSD-infected veteran over you?”

A rough pinch to his ear, “Hey now, don’t call yourself that,” the gentle motherly tone was back as soon as it left, “Besides, that crazy might exactly be what they want. Half of their argument is that I “don’t take enough risks.” They’re getting tired of listening to an old fart like me.”

A moment of contemplation, followed by the cheeky raise of an eyebrow, “So you’re saying you want me to take so many risks they have no choice but to take you back?”

A bark of laughter, “Damn straight.”

He learned the ropes faster than normal (healthy, is probably the correct term), and he immediately won the hearts of both young and old in the company. Instead of flying planes every few months, he worked on business reports and vetoed new ideas every couple of weeks. It felt satisfying for the most part, and his family was just happy he was still alive to enjoy it.

However, there was a slight roadblock on his way to becoming a somewhat stable person.

He became prone to violent blackouts. It had to have started when he blacked out and saved himself from those two weeks of hell, which made the most sense. Something was always destroyed when he came back to life. John was the best at calming him down due to his own experience with panic attacks, however, John couldn’t always be there, and the next rotation for NASA was coming swiftly. Scott swore up and down he would be fine, he could figure something out. John went back into space with an eyebrow permanently raised.

It was just him and Virgil home (Grandma had taken Alan and Kayo to watch Gordon swim) when he, unfortunately, proved John right. Scott wasn’t sure what triggered it, but he vividly remembered coming back in Virgil’s extremely tight hold. The first thing Scott thought to say was damn, beanstalk, when did you get so strong? but then he laid his eyes upon the forming bruise on his younger bro’s face and hasn’t recovered since.

Virgil swore he never held it against Scott. Scott definitely thought he should have.

That night brought sudden clarity to Scott that he was doing this horribly wrong. He was a ticking time bomb, and it wouldn’t be long before something was damaged in a way that couldn’t be fixed. Scott needed an anchor. Something to ground him before he took it too far. John wasn’t going to be earthside forever, Grandma was busy with Kayo, Alan was just a kid, and Gordon was living the dream. None of them were viable.

Then, as he was thinking, he was suddenly aware of how calming Virgil’s arms were around him, how they were preventing the growing panic attack in his chest from getting even bigger.

It was easy.

For once in Scott’s life, his eyes were big and young as he asked Virgil, “Help me, please.”

After a few brief seconds, Virgil gulped, “Okay.”

From then on, Virgil was Stone Number One. Scott’s admiration for Virgil outweighed the guilt of putting the black-haired man in that position in the first place. Virgil was glad to follow his older brother’s leadership, but just as qualified to bring him the hell back when he went too far. From getting too sacrificial to preventing a good punching-out some of the idiots they dealt with, Virgil made sure Scott knocked that shit off.

Time went on, Scott was a top-notch CEO at Tracy Industries, John was having one hell of a time up in space, Virgil was graduated and had so many life opportunities to pick from, Alan was thriving at being a (mostly) stable kid, Kayo was 100% acclimated to the family, and Gordon--

Scott found himself gripping the wooden desk very abruptly. He was shocked he didn’t snap a chunk off in the process. Why was he thinking about this right after a giant business conference? Who knows at this point. If this giant origin story seemed jagged and jumpy, maybe even somewhat vague, good, that’s how it fucking felt.

Back to said story.

Scott always thought he and Gordon would have the least amount in common.

They do, but out of all the things they could have picked to be similar, why did it have to be the PTSD caused by military-related jobs? Scott was 24 when he got his, Gordon was just under 20. It may have been a few years since their respective accidents, but they’re never going to go another day without it feeling like it was just yesterday.

At this point, Gordon was up and walking again, mainly thanks to John and Alan while Virgil and Scott helped in their own ways. Grandma’s cooking was what probably motivated him the most though, ha, the need to get away from it… Scott smiled. Grandma was always a constant. Honestly, if it weren’t for her, the family might have fallen apart. Literally.

What has he been saying throughout this whole shindig? Thank Christ for Grandma.

One day out of the blue, Grandma reserved the entire family (yes, even Kayo and Alan) private plane tickets so they could spend some time on the mainland for a few days. Honestly, even if the island wasn’t getting major renovations, you hooligans need to get out more. Have some fun. Try not to kill anything, especially each other, she all told them while creepily grinning. John and Virgil smacked Gordon more than once on the plane for insisting that she finally snapped, dudes, she’s gonna kill us.

Most of the time during their little vacation, Scott heavily focused on his breathing. He was pretty sure he knew what she was doing. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but the same went for his excitement.

Dad showed him these plans the day after his 18th birthday. You’re a man now, Scotty, I need your help making this big boy decision with me.

As soon as they reset foot down on the island, Scott took a deep breath and felt relaxed at the salty taste in the air. It was weird, nothing on the outside was changed, and yet… it still felt different.

“Guys!” Virgil yelled out, “Stop playing in the water! We just got back, aren’t you two tired?!”

Blinking back to reality, Scott looked over to see his two youngest brothers doing exactly what Virgil was yelling at them for. Poor Johnny was a little damp too, which is what probably caused Virgil to shout at them in the first place. The blondes didn’t care. They continued to prance around in the shallow waves with their pants legs rolled up, acting as if they didn’t hear anything outside of their laughter. Gordon shoved his hands down into the liquid and threw some directly at Alan, nailing him right in the face.

Scott exhaled slowly. He couldn’t imagine them doing this 8 years ago.

Regardless, the artist was right, and they couldn’t waste too much time. Kayo was swift in grabbing both gentlemen by the ears and dragging them onto dry land. They all painstakingly trekked their way up to the-- what would you call Tracy Island? Mansion? Over-blown cabin? Well, whatever it was, Scott would always be willing to call it home.

Stepping inside, each brother took in the view, which was underwhelmingly not that much different, except for one tiny thing. John suddenly noticed a figure already standing in the living room and blinked, “No way… it’s--”

Gordon jumped in, both with his body and his words, “Brains?! Dude, how’s it hanging?!”

The scientist in question jumped at the voices before clearing his throat and readjusting his glasses, “O-Oh, hello again, T-Tracys. It’s good to see you all once more.”

Virgil slung an arm around his shoulder, ignoring the blatant squawk, “Man, how long has it been?! What made you finally decide to crawl out of your hole?”

Snickers came from all corners of the house. Brains stood up straighter, “W-Well, I was contacted b-by Mrs. Tracy over here with an offer I c-couldn’t turn down.”

Eyebrows tilted in all shapes and sizes. Someone cleared their throat. Everyone turned to look at Grandma once again, “I think if you all follow me, you’ll swiftly understand what I’m talking about.”

I already do, Scott thought matter-of-factly. John seemed to be understanding it now, Virgil was on the cusp of remembering what his father was hinting at for him, and Gordon was just as lost as Alan. It made sense, Jeff talked to all of them about it, but the oldest had seniority. The two youngest not remembering just by words was expected, especially since that was going to be rectified very quickly.

The hangar under the island was beautiful. Point blank. It smelt of iron and steel and grease and engine and that was the first time since Scott had been in the Air Force that he didn’t gag or flinch at the thought of flying something again. Scott had seen the plans his father drew. He assumed Jeff finished building it, but he never got to physically see it since…

In some ways, he was glad he didn’t. Now he got to experience it with (most of) his family, and that made it ten times better.

After letting them absorb the scenery, Grandma slowly turned around to look at them all, “You remember that dream your father had?”

The four oldest blinked, Kayo simply raised her eyebrows, meanwhile, Alan, being the teenager he was, didn’t read the emotion in the room, “Oh, yeah! Aunt Casey always talked about how he was going to “change the world” and stuff. What did he call it again?”

Scott felt way more confident than he had in a while, “International Rescue.”

Grandma nodded, gleeful at the happy look on her oldest and youngest grandsons’ faces, “Well, I’ve been thinking about some things. I know we don’t exactly worry about money, but after everything your father put into these girls… I’d hate for them to go to waste.”

The Tracy family jumped at that. John’s mouth was wide open in shock, yes, shock, “That station is still up there?”

Grandma sighed, “You mean ‘Five? Not for long. Not if we don’t send someone up there within the next few days.”

John blushed at the grin Grandma gave him. Clearing his throat, his big brain came to a startling conclusion, “Wait… you brought Alan along?”

The other big brothers in the room jumped at that. Kayo was the only one with enough balls to say the truth out loud, “Mrs. Tracy, I mean no offense, but he’s--”

“Just a kid?” Grandma smirked, “A kid that’s topped the VR charts for Intergalactic Fury for weeks straight while simultaneously getting nothing but A’s in his classes?”

Scott nodded slowly in comprehension. He remembered Alan talking about that game for a while. It was some kind of online racing simulator of sorts. Scott caught the prettiest string of words from Alan when going to bed one night. Nearly made him shit his pants. He made the kid promise to keep it PG-13 if he wanted to keep playing.

Still, the elders in the family slowly turned to look at the freckled boy with both shock and pride. Alan blinked with wide-eyed innocence, “But my English class is only at a B--”

“Shh, kiddo, I’m making a point,” Grandma rolled her eyes. The other brothers snickered. Yep, still Alan. Grandma sighed, “Now before you point out that video games are different, I know, but the difference between them and this is that video games don’t have some of the most talented older brothers in the world to guide him.”

Said older brothers jumped at the idea. Before any objection could be made, Grandma continued, “Besides, the GDF seemed to be okay with it. The Colonel was willing to oversee some of his training too.”

John flinched at that, “But IR is supposed to be independent!”

Grandma slightly frowned. She didn’t exactly like it either, “It still is, but in the world of business, compromises have to be made.”

Virgil huffed and crossed his arms, “Well, that’s… rough. Here I thought only Scott would have to deal with the bullshit of business.”

Grandma chuckled at the somewhat un-Virgil-like behavior, “It really is, Virgil. But about that Scott part,” she slowly turned to look at him and him only, “I hate to give you more work to do, but if you want to work within their restrictions?”

Suddenly every pair of eyes in the room was on the head of the family. Gulping, Scott looked down at his feet to think. It was a tense few moments, nobody sure what he was going to decide, least of all him, before the brunette cleared his throat and brought his face back up with a grin.

“Well then,” Scott turned to look at the bright tip of ‘One, chest fluttering with a feeling that became unfamiliar to him over the past few years, “I guess now it’s time to state the obvious.”

From then on, every time he loaded into that cockpit of his girl, he felt lighter than air.

“Thunderbirds are GO!”

Everything was okay again.

Mostly.

Orphan.

Scott took another sip of his whiskey and refocused on his reports.

---

Scott was in some kind of dissociative state the whole way home.

Alan doesn’t deserve this. He’s still a kid, barely an adult, and he’s going to go through utter hell because you screwed up. You were 24, Gordon was just under 20, Alan was barely 18. Alan’s going to get fucked up like you and it’s all your fault.

His movements were robotic and rigid. Anyone with a working eye could tell he was deep in shock and running on autopilot. Mostly Jeff. Especially Jeff. The rest of the brothers all noticed too, but they were also running on their own empty fuel tanks, so the only thing they could do was guilty send their older brother the occasional glance of pity and concern.

Jeff was going to need to talk to them about that. Somehow. Maybe he shouldn’t be the one to point it out since he feels just as bad. His sons were too much like him, sometimes, and that made his guilt burn all the same. He should’ve been there to warn his sons about the dangers of unnecessary guilt. Having that kind of guilt was a parent’s job, dammit, and maybe grandparents only occasionally.

But then he remembered where he’s been for the past 8 years and… who really was Alan’s parents anymore? His gut was screaming it sure as hell isn’t you, but he knew his sons would want him to step back into the role as soon as he was physically fit to do so, not just for Alan, but for themselves as well. They would deny it, but they probably just wanted to be kids again too, even if it was only brief, fleeting moments.

Who was to tell the protective, fatherly side of Jeff no to that? No better time to fix things like the present after all.

He saw Scott go up the stairs when they first stepped into the living room, so that’s where Jeff was going to go too. Footsteps light, Jeff retraced his eldest’s pathway to his bedroom. Only, he stopped before said bedroom. Unfavorable noises were coming from the closed bathroom door, and Jeff could only swallow whatever emotion it made him feel. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened the (unlocked) door to the bathroom and laid his eyes upon the incriminating scene.

Jeff was met with the sight of Scott retching his entire stomach into the toilet, hands aggressively grabbing his sticky, hair-gelled hair and trying to make himself bald from the strain.

Jeff’s reaction was always based on autopilot, and it will never stop being so.

Ignoring his protesting body, Jeff kneeled and placed a hand on his son’s back, only to abruptly pull back like he touched a hot stove when Scott only got more hysterical at the contact. The brunette clenched his eyes shut even more (and they were already shut as much as possible) while his head became a special kind of crease. Like he was in pain, “God, I wanna go home. Why won’t they listen I swear I’m telling the truth! Please, I just want Dad--”

Jeff was frozen on the spot, heart stopping in the process. His brain shut down while he watched his son continue to mindlessly ramble and panic. His freaked-out mind barely registered footsteps from behind in the hallway, followed by a voice going what’s going-- holy--

Something thundered past him. Blinking once, Jeff guiltily watched as Virgil kneeled behind the eldest and wrapped his arms around the thin man’s shoulders while taking Scott’s hands in his in a protective blanket, “Scott! Jesus-- we’re at home, you’re safe and it’s June 14th, 2--”

Scott only struggled more, panicking at the fact he could no longer yank his hair out. Dammit, it was the only way he could feel in control, don’t take that away too! “No! I swear I’ve said everything! Please--”

Virgil immediately knew that this was one of those attacks that Scott wasn’t coming back down from with pure human intervention. Add-on the sight of his father’s big eyes signifying the man was at a loss at what to do, Virgil had no choice. He snapped loudly, remembering the comms were still on and only feeling slightly bad at the way Scott flinched in his arms, “Shit-- John! It’s Scott! Get the stuff! We’re in the upstairs bathroom!”

Muffled footsteps through a few walls in the house could be heard. Jeff’s mind was only starting to catch up when the brother Virgil called for came rushing into the bathroom (Jeff never remembered it being big enough to hold four of them) and ignoring Jeff (practically shoving him out of the way too, man, this was bad) on his way to the main problem at hand. Landing on his knees in a way that made Jeff wince, John gently grabbed one of Scott’s arms from Virgil’s hold and subsequently pulled a needle from nowhere and injected something into Scott.

The response was instantaneous.

Scott’s breathing, while still labored, got slower. He stopped struggling as well, and the way he sagged reminded Jeff of ice melting into a puddle. The two other brothers’ shoulders also sagged, relieved at the crisis averted. John stood up, knees cracking as he rubbed the back of his neck. Then, he froze at the sight of something in the doorway, “G-Gordon…”

Virgil snapped his head up from where he was looking at Scott. Jeff did something similar. Yup, in the doorway was the strawberry blonde, eyes wide, making him younger by about 10 years. The ex-Olympian in question inhaled, closed his eyes, and soon speed-walked his way out of the entrance to the bathroom. Dammit, neither Gordon or Alan have seen something like that and it probably spooked him more than anything. He’d understand with his own PTSD-related issues, but still, seeing the “never weak” big brother freak out in such a scary way...

John combed a hand through his hair, shaking his head. As he started walking out of the room, he whispered to himself, probably hoping no one heard him, “Dammit, this is all so fucked…”

Unfortunately, Jeff did hear, and the dirty language made the father flinch. John was always the best about making sure Grandma didn’t wash his mouth out with soap, and the fact that he so willingly didn’t care meant that everyone was at the end of their rope. Still reeling at the sight, Jeff couldn’t react to the gentle arms that picked him up off the floor and slowly led him out of the suddenly stuffy room.

With the click of the door shutting, Jeff realized what Virgil did, “W-Wait, Scott--”

“Will be okay for a few seconds,” Virgil finished for his dad, “I know it’s nearly been a decade, but the one part of you I definitely know hasn’t changed is the need to comfort us, just like we hoped.” The small grin that fell over the middle child’s face put Jeff a little bit at ease, but Virgil wasn’t completely done, “So, I’m going to let you take care of this, but I just want to make sure you’ll handle it with grace. Take this slowly, okay? Scott might be doped up, but he’s still… volatile, in a sense.”

Jeff cleared his throat, suddenly choking on the unneeded tension, “Okay, Virgil, I promise, just… what happened? That was… bad, and really bad at that too. I know Scott would never let something that severe willingly come out in front of his family.”

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not ready for this conversation, “Listen, Dad,” he inhaled sharply, cutting himself off before sighing in a way that said fuck it, might as well get this over with, “As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living. We all have lives and stories now, and this is Scott’s story to tell.”

Jeff was getting misty-eyed again. Back when he was just a kid, Virgil couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, mainly in part due to his insomnia-related issues (Jeff has to wonder if he still has them, more problems for the future) and general lack of filter because of sleep-deprivation. Now Jeff knew there was a starch difference between a kid who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and a man who genuinely knew how to respect another man’s privacy, but…

It just hammers home how much he’s missed with his boys. Gulping, Jeff made a mental note to talk with his mom about certain things he’s missed. She’ll know a lot more than he would, “Okay, Virge. Thank you, for stepping up there.”

Virgil’s shoulders relaxed at Jeff’s words, as well as his father’s hand patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks, Dad. Just… go easy on him. I know it’s a little late for this but none of us ever properly talked about things. It was very unhealthy, deep down we all knew that, but…”

“You just couldn’t get the proper emotions out?” Jeff finished for his son. At Virgil’s soft nod, Jeff exhaled, “I’m not going to say that it was a smart decision, but we’re all here now. We can move forward with this.” Jeff squeezed where his hand laid.

Virgil blinked before curtly going, “Yeah. Goodnight, Dad. Take care of Scott.”

Virgil stepped around his father and walked to where his bedroom most definitely was not, but Jeff could deal with that in a little bit. He had another son who he was pretty sure just had a violent PTSD attack of some kind, plus, Virgil seemed to sour at something Jeff said. The ex-astronaut wasn’t sure what it was, so he didn’t chase after him out of worry that--

Wait.

We’re all here now.

Dammit, Jeff. Out of all the sentences you could’ve picked...

Alrighty, just add that to the ever-growing pile of things that need to be talked about later. No biggie. Jeff found himself sighing and rubbing the back of his neck much like Virgil did a few minutes ago. Turning around, he was met with the bathroom door once more. Shaking his head, Jeff slowly crept into the room and saw that not much was different, especially with Scott.

His heart softly cracked, but, again, he can deal with it later.

Sitting down on the ground and grimacing at the way his body ached (was gravity always this rough?), Jeff leaned against the floor cabinets about 2-3 feet away from Scott, who made himself into a nice comfortable ball in the corner next to the toilet, his palm smushed against his forehead. Jeff waited a few seconds. Then minutes. Then he realized he would have to be the one to initiate the conversation. He probably should’ve realized that right when he came back in. He opened his mouth, but his wasn’t the one that words came out of.

“It was… Zambia.”

Jeff’s heart stopped and his mouth snapped shut. He couldn’t stop the way his eyes clearly showed his panic, but hopefully, he guiltily thought, Scott was a little too doped up to not realize it, “Scotty, what do you mean?”

Scott shrugged in a way that spoke he thought what he was admitting wasn’t a big deal. Yep, clearly not with it, “Mission went bad… caught for a couple of weeks.”

Jeff was hoping his first fuck back on Earth, spoken to himself like right now or otherwise, would have been a comedic thing, but the way nausea rose in his throat said this was anything but funny.

Scott wanted to be in the Air Force. Badly. Who was a father to deny his son’s want to be part of such a noble cause? He gave him tips, took him to meet friends in high places, sometimes even sparred with him when he turned 18, but then Jeff was suddenly thousands of miles away with no hope of ever having the chance of sparring with his eldest again. Despite it, Jeff hoped Scott went on to become the best pilot the world has ever seen.

Part of this looks like he did, but at what cost?

As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living.

Aw hell, “Jesus, Scott…” Jeff couldn’t tell if it was the brashness or the lack of a nickname that made Scott flinch and he hated it. He immediately softened his tone and brought his 27-year-old child into his arms, “Shh, shh, we’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out.”

Like father like son, old habits die hard, and as easy as it was to still be able to comfort his children, Scott seemed to just as easily take it as he used to 8 years ago, “Alan doesn’t deserve this kind of hell, God, he’s barely not a kid anymore! Why--”

Jeff tightened his hold to keep his son in reality, and because he didn’t like the tone behind those words, “Hey, you didn’t either--”

Scott somehow managed to fling himself out of the hug, focus incredibly on point for someone who was doped up to his eyelids five seconds ago, “But I fucked up! I made the wrong call and then suddenly Arnold was dead and he had a wife and kids-- shit, what the hell did I do?”

Okay.

First of all: way to put him back in that headspace when that’s the exact opposite you were going for, Jeff, father of the year. Second: dammit. Just… dammit. This was a big fat hand grenade in a giant handbasket that they didn’t have time to gently get out while simultaneously not yanking the pin clean off with the grace of a drunk elephant. Jeff was no stranger to Survivor’s Guilt, but there was a whole untapped pile of metaphorical C4 within his son’s head that was ready for someone to push the goddamn button.

He wanted it to be him, desperately, because it sounded like he already failed his family enough, it was all he could do at this point, but he absolutely hated that he couldn’t do it right now. This was going to take a lot of time, which they didn’t have, plus, Jeff thought he had a pretty good understanding of this new Scott and the rest of his kids. Jeff was aware that if he didn’t help his sons find their baby as fast as possible over everything else it’ll lead to a fate nobody wanted.

A shaky sigh, “Okay, Scotty, let’s get you to bed. We’ll talk strategy in the morning.”

Scott simply nodded as his father flung Scott’s arm around his broader shoulders and picked him up. Slowly and painfully but surely, father and son meandered their way to Scott’s room. With a thump a little harder than Jeff wanted, Scott flopped down on top of his sheets and immediately started snoring. Despite everything that just happened, the father couldn’t help but grin at the sight. Well, there was another thing Jeff gracefully passed onto his son.

Jeff only took Scott’s shoes off. He would’ve loved to pull the sheets up around him too, but the father didn’t want to take any chances at waking him up. Slowly tip-toeing out of the room, Jeff gave one last glance back at his son before finally letting him be and gently shutting the door. He had three other sons he needed to console, but his tired joints told him to selfishly take a moment for himself for right now unless he wanted to collapse and give his family more to deal with.

Jeff eventually made his way to his room-- which was sadly unkempt, he noticed-- and sat down on the edge of his unfamiliar bed to think.

He’ll figure something out. If he had to crawl through images of his son being brutally and bloodily tortured then by God he would with the fury of a thousand suns.

He was back and he wasn’t going to throw away any second or even third chance he was given.

---

“I got him.”

Virgil turned his comms back on, and with it, Scott’s heart restarted for the first time in a few weeks. Taking a moment for a breather, Scott leaned against the wall while practically wheezing. They have him back, holy shit, they have him back. Scott vaguely heard Gordon cry in pure relief and joy. He saw John’s side of the comms flutter for a bit before a bright flash happened. Blinking away the white spots, Scott looked at his wrist to see a fully detailed map of the compound.

Gordon spoke what they were all thinking, “Woohoo! First Allie comes back, then Johnny-boy gets us a free ticket out of here! We’re winning this race, baby!”

A very loud moment of silence. John cleared his throat, “Actually, I was going to say glad to see you in one piece, you little shit,” a playful gasp came from Virgil’s side. It was too high pitched to be from the pianist’s mouth. Scott chuckled, but the paranoid part of his brain said John wasn’t done. His brain was right, ‘“But guys… that wasn’t me. Or EOS. We still haven’t found a way to get past the metal they made these walls out of.”

That silence was even more deafening than the last, and before Virgil could utter out his typical what the fuck, a small logo appeared at the corner of their new map. One that was all too familiar. The Chaos Crew wasn’t the only one who could brand their awful deeds.

Son of a bitch.

Virgil’s order over the radio was meant for Alan, but Scott couldn’t help but listen to it too.

“Shit, Alan, you need to run.”

Making quick work of the compound once more, Scott, while booking it even quicker than last time, opened a private line between him and Gordon, “Hey, how would you feel if I said go help Virgil while I cover Alan?”

The first response was stuttering, which Scott expected, but then it was followed up by something completely out of left field for Gordon, “... Okay, just as long as you promise to bring Alan back in one piece.”

Part of Scott wanted to console Gordon, another was questioning why Gordon was so quick to give up, another wanted to say of course, I will, idiot, but the first part that made itself verbal was easy, “You know I will, buddy.”

Scott could physically picture Gordon’s tiny, little, somber nod clear as day, “Sounds good, captain. See you on the other side.”

With a click, Scott was back on the group comm. Suddenly remembering what exactly his job was, he pulled out the map so graciously given to them by The Hood. Looking at all the dots, one was heading towards a prone one (oh if that asshole did anything to Virgil…) while another one was heading right for Scott himself. Actually, in just a few seconds, right as Scott rounded the corner he would--

“Woah, look out there, Tigger!”

Yes, you heard that correctly: not tiger, Tigger. Tigger hadn’t been used since Alan was itty bitty. It always seemed like the kid had endless energy with the way he wouldn’t stop bounding off the walls and furniture. Even as a baby, Lucy had to sit with him for a few hours while he slept in his crib to make sure he would stay there. In fact, their mother gave Alan that nickname herself. She was quite the Winnie the Pooh fan, and the rest of the family figured it would be one of the ways they could keep her legacy alive for the tiny potato.

Wrapping his arms around said flailing potato, albeit much bigger than a baby, Scott thought he would collapse then and there. Alan was here, in his arms, and yeah, the sight of his dirty and somewhat ripped up IR uniform made him mad, but Scott, for once in his life, decided to focus on the here-and-now, aka his precious, alive little brother, who finally stopped struggling at the realization that hey, the person holding you is a good guy, time to turn off fight mode.

Smushing their foreheads together as much as possible, Scott desperately fought to keep the waterworks back, a smile from ear to ear hopefully taking whatever energy his tear ducts had, “You are getting such an ass beating when we get home, little bro.”

Alan jumped back with a look of What the hell?! What did I do now?!

Scott simply rolled his eyes, “Really? “Not important”? You graduated high school, tiny dude! That’s huge! You remember Gordon’s party, right?”

Alan’s mouth gaped before he closed it with slightly puffy cheeks. Those same cheeks tinged with a small blush. Alan wasn’t exactly expecting to be smothered so soon (well, he did cry his eyes out on Virgil’s shoulder, but that was different!). Shaking it off, Alan moved his hands rhythmically and rapidly, To be fair, we weren’t sure he was going to get one for a while.

Scott faltered a little bit at the ASL. Darn, he should’ve seen Alan’s lack of talking from a mile away. Scott carefully hid his disappointment from Alan. Lord knew what the kid would take it as, “Yeah, that’s what he got for barely making it. Imagine what you’re going to get!”

Scott assumed his semi-fake charm worked, as Alan seemed to play along without any kind of suspicion, Oh yeah. Fair enough.

This kid, man.

Then, slow clapping came from a dark corner, making Scott’s heart leap out of his throat as well as push Alan behind himself. Glaring as much as he could towards the invisible evil-doer, Scott didn’t have to think twice, “Alan, take my map and find Virgil and Gordon.”

The youngest looked like he was going to object.

“Go.”

He no longer did. Good.

Listening to the field commander’s orders, Scott felt his wristband slip off his wrist and a warm body leave his vicinity. An inhale. Also good. An exhale, followed by an even darker glare, “What more do you want?”

Short and straight-to-the-point and angry, two things Scott typically wasn’t. Regardless, like a cold gust of wind, footsteps started approaching him from the shadow. Once Scott saw the outline of a body, he tensed even more. Virgil would snap at him for clenching his jaw so much.

A dark chuckle reminded him of what was important. The voice that spoke reminded him of something completely different, “Now then, brother, let’s not be rude to each other!”

Scott’s pupils shrunk at the familiar sight of Gordon stepping towards him. Except it wasn’t Gordon, because Scott knew that Gordon knew better. He also knew Gordon didn’t cheekily smile like that, even after a prank, nor did he walk that straight. He always had a funny walk after WASP, and Gordon wore that fact like a badge of honor.

Oh no, Scott definitely knew who this was, “What the hell are you playing at?”

Fake-Gordon rolled his eyes, like it wasn’t obvious, “I mean if we want to go that route, why did kid insist you being in the military was the coolest thing he’d ever heard you do? Maybe I wouldn’t have been pressured into joining a branch myself in the end.”

Scott’s nostrils flared, and by God, his pupils might have actually slitted like a snake’s, or possibly even a dragon’s, “Excuse me?”

Scott blinked, and suddenly he was met by not-Virgil, “Plus, why was our conclusion after hearing a three-year-old wanting to see snow to go to a ski resort? It had to have been those big, selfish, beady eyes, right?”

“C’mon, Scotty, we gotta give you some kind of calming exercise. There’s going to come a time when neither me or John are going to be there.”

“Hmm… does yoga work?”

A snort, “Well, that’s not too bad of an idea. Maybe the person pissing you off will stop whatever they’re doing at the sight of you spontaneously doing downward dog.”

Laughter, an unfamiliar action, “Yeah, okay, but for real, those breathing exercises I’ve seen you do look okay. Let’s start there.”

Scott was not a liar by heart. He had to admit that those exercises were doing jack shit right about now.

Another blink, another brother. Familiar ginger hair was all Scott could see, “To continue that previous point, why did Dad start International Rescue again? And what led to his demise?”

“Sounds like a piece of work. Why do you keep dealing with these people again?”

“Someone has to pay the bills, Johnny. Grandma’s too focused on making the perfect poison for us.”

A roll of eyes, “Right, because the billions we have saved wouldn’t be enough to last a couple of families a few lifetimes. Glad to see your calming exercises are working at least. How’s that going for you, by the way?”

A pause. A flicker of vision around the room. Someone cleared their throat, probably himself, “It’s probably not as bad as whatever space is throwing at you. You handling it okay up there?”

Another pause, followed by a sigh, “Well, since you asked so nicely…”

Scott wanted to deflect the truth so badly right now more than anything else. Telling him he couldn’t pilot ‘One anymore would be a much more enticing option than what he was hearing.

Suddenly, Scott was looking in a mirror, “Besides, I know more than anybody that he wasn’t wanted. A mistake. I thought we Tracys hated being imperfect?”

The Hood must have known their backstories from internet articles, and being the mastermind he was, it probably took him all of three seconds to see Alan had some hidden self-worth issues. By playing the biggest Guess Who? game of all time, The Hood was most likely able to figure out some less-than-positive ideals Alan thought about himself throughout his childhood and danced circles around his already weakened mind to string together some spineless blame to put on the kid by sheer evilness alone.

Knowing his kid brother, it worked.

Scott wasn’t thinking straight-- maybe even at all when the first punch was thrown.

Just like that, Scott blacked out and was running on terminator mode. John would be disappointed. Virgil would be horrified. Gordon might find it funny. Alan wasn’t here, and thank God for that. Scott wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. All his mind was telling him was make lots of pain hard and fast. His brain also blocked out any hit The Hood was giving him in return. Pain flared for a few seconds, then it was swept away in the puddle of rage his mind was currently being consumed in.

Soon, his out-of-it mind found its target and gripped his-- The Hood’s arm, no disguise would make him have an identity crisis, thank you very much-- nice and rough.

Scott heard the familiar snap of cartilage and felt only partially bad. If he was thinking more clearly, he would be disgusted with himself. Yes, even The Hood didn’t deserve this level of Scott’s fury. Oh, he definitely deserved to be hit by a truck, but not by Scott. It was mostly due to Scott’s sanity. If he could be this graphic and violent at all, even to the worse possible criminals, that meant he could be that way during other moments, and that was not a territory he wanted to cross into.

Welp, he was here now, and he’ll hate to admit it in the future, but the only thing that brought him out of it was a tiny gasp from a few feet away. Snapping his head up, Scott’s eyes landed squarely on a smaller-than-normal Alan, who was currently clutching his arm to his chest in an emotion Scott didn’t want to figure out at the moment. So much for going and finding Virgil and Gordon.

“Allie, help…” fake him grunted out, only making real Scott growl and tighten his hold (and probably making his case worse). Looking up from the person in his arms, Scott felt his heart split in two at the sight. There was fear and uncertainty in Alan’s blue eyes and boy did it hurt. Scott couldn’t tell if it was because even seeing a potentially-fake Scott being beaten up was bad or if it was because he’d never seen big brother be this brutal, even towards their enemies. Whatever the reason, it involved Scott being the main root of the problem.

Wait, that was The Hood’s plan. Shit… make Scott act past the point of no return in a way that was unfamiliar to Alan so the kid couldn’t be fully sure who was who, and Scott fell right into his trap, hook, line, and sinker.

Fuck.

Bloody well done, Scott, you absolute moron.

Scott faltered a little bit, “A-Alan, I--”

That falter was enough for The Hood to break an arm out of his grip and elbow him in the face. In the brief second of freedom he had, he tried dashing towards Alan, but Scott was too quick for everyone’s good and soon had the imposter back in his arms, both of them struggling in a way that made them look like they were tied into the weirdest knot in existence.

Then, an earthquake struck.

No, literally.

A big shake of the abandoned compound threw the look-a-likes about and subsequently off the platform they were on. The place was old; it didn’t take a lot of weight for that guard rail they made their way over towards while fighting to snap right off. With a yelp, the two of them gripped the edge as much as they could and held on. Crap, I know we talked with Fuse about potentially setting some stuff off, but--

Blinking, Scott saw a familiar mop of blonde hair come into view. Alan was rather panicked, clearly not sure which Scott was the real Scott. Not only that, he had little time to decide which one to save. Goodie, another reason to despise The Hood: not only has he put Alan through weeks of torment, now he’s forcing the kid to decide to either save his oldest brother and biggest hero or his personal torturer.

And Alan won’t know until he picks.

Holy hell, this was getting worse by the second. Hopefully, big brother charm can work its magic and get them the hell out of there.

“Alan, quickly, over here!”

“I can’t hold on for much longer, Alan, hurry!”

The two Scotts glared at one another in the exact same way, not making Alan’s job much easier. Another shake, another slip down the metal cliff, more screams, and Alan looked ready to tear his hair out. Scott watched as the kid looked around rapidly, probably praying for a miracle in the process. Suddenly, the kid jumped when he must have spotted something important. Within the blink of an eye, he was gone and out of their range of visions to retrieve it.

Whatever the hell he noticed better be important, because if just ended up wasting precious time then--

Another shake, probably the last one. Still, it was enough.

Both their grips gave away at the same time, screams identical (God, did he always sound that wimpy?) as they plummeted to their demises. Scott was briefly able to look up to see his brother pop his head over the cliff like a chipmunk again and grab the (albeit broken) arm of The Hood and save him. Dammit, Scott should have expected that, though, that display of anger was uncharacteristic to Alan. Probably terrified him even more than he already was. Fuck, Scott deser--

Suddenly, a rope wrapped itself around Scott’s left arm and stopped his descent. Hard. Hopefully, it was only torn stuff, they didn’t have time to deal with dislocation--

Wait.

Scott wasn’t dead if he could think about these kinds of things.

Blinking, he looked at his arm to see the familiar rope of his grappling hook around his forearm. Moving his eyesight to look past that, he saw the wide, blue eyes of his baby brother struggling to stay on top. The Hood was using his non-broken side to try and climb his way back up to safety. Huh, that’s weird. When did Alan get ahold of that? Scott must have dropped it during his scuffle with--

That’s when it hit Scott.

Alan saved them both.

And it would be all for jack shit if Scott didn’t get his ass up there to help.

Panicking, Scott gripped the rope and started to ascend. He had two working arms and a smother complex to boot; it wasn’t long before he overtook a struggling Hood, who could only use one arm and a weakened brother (that bastard was so lucky Alan had a literal heart of gold).

Flinging his arms over the edge and pulling himself up-- and shrugging off the extra help Alan offered. Save your strength, baby bro-- Scott was in a much calmer search-and-destroy mode. He yanked his evil look-a-like up, turned him on his stomach, pinned him down, and before he could even watch Alan blink, “Sign something.”

There, now he watched Alan blink.

Scott pulled out one of his best ‘big brother’ smiles ever, “Tell me something in ASL. I don’t think The Hood learned that kind of etiquette.”

The body beneath him growled, making Alan jump and Scott tighten not only his hold but his glare. Further prove big brother’s point, why don’t cha? He lost the angry look immediately to grin at Alan once more, who seemed to be slowly getting the picture. With a gulp, the blonde slowly strung together a sentence that Scott had to laugh at, just a little bit.

Damn, could you teach me to fight like that, Scooter?

Nodding his head, Scott had to concede, “Sure. Consider it a graduation present.”

Alan blinked again, and the immense relief that washed over the boy’s shoulders would be enough to banish nightmares for at least a couple of days. Suddenly, The Hood’s disguise blinked out of existence, making both brothers jump that time. Scott didn’t falter in his grip, however. This man was going down right here and now, Scott thought darkly, staring at the prone body beneath his.

Scott saw Alan continue to sign out of the corner of his eye, You know you look like shit, right?

Scott chuckled. Alan was always able to put a smile on his face no matter the circumstances, “Yeah, well, kindred spirits, little bro.”

Scott was probably as pale as Alan was with such lack of sleep and food. Running on what was essentially a prolonged PTSD attack wasn’t healthy in the slightest, and no doubt whatever kind of bruises and scratches The Hood gave him didn’t help, however, seeing hope fill those deep-blue eyes when Alan learned he was truly being saved drowned everything out, including the way those freckles were getting lost in those eye bags.

Yeah, their entire family probably looked like shit, and the recovery process was going to be even shittier, but they were going to suffer through it together as a family would.

That made it all worth it.

Shuffling himself so one arm was free while the other kept The Hood pinned, Scott held it out towards Alan. The flinch the youngest made tore a hole in Scott’s heart that was only slightly patched when Alan leaned into the warmth and safety of his biggest bro. Long recovery process, remember? Regardless, Alan still took to the hug like a dehydrated zebra did a pond, and that was good enough for Scott.

The Hood groaned underneath them.

Yep, good enough.

#fabfivefeb #fabfivefeb2020 #thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #scott tracy #alan tracy #jeff tracy #grandma tracy #the hood #virgil tracy #john tracy #gordon tracy #my post #my fic #series: rules of alchemy

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 5 years

Text

Follow In His Footsteps

lo and beholdRequest: @flowerchildqueenlovely : I think I would want you to write about jimmy. Like how he is handling being a hero at shield. Is jimmy and Sam together? Is Frankie on the team too? How is he coming to turn with him being a descendent of Captain America or Steve Rogers.

Pairing: Dad!Bucky & Jimmy

Words Count: 1,378

----

One-Shot from the My Eyes Universe.

Spoiler filled (and confusing) if you haven’t read the series.

My Eyes - Masterlist

His eyes stared at the screen. He was wearing glasses – not that he needed them to see. That super-soldier in his genes made damn sure that his vision stayed 20/20. It’d probably stay that way until the day he died.

No, these were those blue-light glasses that everyone insisted on buying these days. Apparently, they were better for people’s eyes, especially when they were staring at a computer screen all day.

Sam had insisted on buying both of them a pair.

And she was the only reason he was wearing them now. Jimmy didn’t have the heart to tell her that he probably wouldn’t need them. But she always told him how cute he looked in glasses. And the smile she had on her face every time she caught him in them was reason enough for Jimmy to keep putting them on.

Jimmy felt a part of warms arms wrap around his shoulders. It was a little concerning that he didn’t sense her approaching. But her energy had only ever comforted him, maybe that was why she could sneak up on him and no one else could.

He felt her press a kiss to his temple as he gripped her forearm lovingly. Her skin was hot from just getting out of her cocoon of blankets.

“Did I wake you up?” Jimmy asked with concern.

Sam chuckled breathily as she kept her arms around him. “Yeah, could you keep your computer staring down a bit. I can hear you from the other side of the apartment.”

Jimmy let out a breath of laughter. “I’m editing some photos.” Then he pulled her around and into his lap, wrapping his arms around her now. “What do you think?” He asked as he shuffled through some recent photos he’d taken.

“They’re great, Jimmy.” Then she pointed at one in particular, “That one’s my favorite.”

“Yeah?” He answered with a smirk. “Not this one?” He asked, settling on a photo of her. She had been redecorating her office: paint smeared on her cheek, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that both belonged to Jimmy.

“Eww. Definitely not that one,” Sam cringed.

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.” Jimmy attacked her face and neck with kisses, even gave her a playful bite.

Sam giggled and pretended to try and push him away. “Come on. Come back to bed. I need my human boiler next to me.” She tried to seal the deal with a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’ll be there in a second. Just want to finish up these photos.”

Sam narrowed her eyes a little. “Photos, huh? This doesn’t have anything to do with the mission you got back from today?”

Jimmy ignored her.

Sam caressed his cheek.

He bit his lip, trying to stop the trembling as her question brought forward all the thoughts he was trying to fight.

“It was two kids, Sam. Maybe they were siblings – fuck, I still don’t even know. I was so close to them. The last thing they saw was me reaching out to them before the floor collapsed.”

He shakily took off his glasses and then pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I…I just keep thinking how he would’ve saved them. He was better than me. I’ll never save as many people as he did.”

Sam’s heart broke from what she was hearing. Her eyes filled with tears, but this wasn’t her loss to mourn. She had to be strong for him.

Jimmy buried his head into her chest and Sam welcomed it, running her fingers through his hair in comfort.

“James,” she only used his full name when she was about to say something important. “Your father was a martyr. The very idea of him is god-like. People remember an exaggeration of him.” Then she pulled his face up so he was forced to look into her eyes. “He made mistakes, just like everyone else.”

Sam sighed. “It’s not fair to your dad to remember him as a perfect person, and it’s especially not fair to you.”

Jimmy nodded slowly, letting her words wash over him. Sam always knew what to say. The scarier thing was that there was always sincerity and truth behind her words. She never said things just to say them.

Sam stroked Jimmy’s beard, one of the few differences between him and his dad. That and his tattoos.

“Maybe you should call Bucky, James.” She suggested gently.

He sighed, “I don’t want to worry him.”

She smirked. “Spoiler alert: that man always worries about you. I think you should call him.”

“OK,” He finally agreed.

“Wanna try to go to bed now?”

But Jimmy’s only answer was gripping her tightly and raising them both from the desk chair, carrying her in his arms back to their bedroom.

———————————————

It only takes a single ring before his deep voice is heard.

“Well, look who remembered how to use a phone again…” Bucky teased.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I’ve been bad about it,” Jimmy rolled his eyes, but knew that his father-figure had a point.

“Your mom misses you, kid.” Bucky’s tone was more serious now.

“I’m sorry. Really.” Jimmy pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve just been…really busy.”

Bucky’s back straightened at the sound of Jimmy’s voice. “Everything OK?”

“I’m fine. Sam’s fine. We’re all fine,” Jimmy quickly answered.

Bucky was silent for a second. “What’s going on, Jimmy?”

“Sam….she…uh…she thought maybe it would be good for me to call you.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue.

“My last mission…” Jimmy stopped, not really sure how to even go about telling Bucky what was going on or how he was feeling. “I couldn’t save them, Bucky.” His voice shook as he finally said it.

Bucky was silent.

“I just keep thinking about him. How he would’ve done better. Everyone wants me to be like him – if not better. And I just-I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough, Bucky. Maybe I shouldn’t have this shield.”

Bucky didn’t need Jimmy to explain who ‘him’ was – he immediately knew this was about Steve.

“Jimmy,” Bucky sighed as he rubbed his face and tried to gather his thoughts. “Jesus, sometimes it scares the shit out of me how much you’re like him. You never got to meet him and yet you still remind me so much of him.”

Jimmy’s stomach clenched at that. It was all people seemed to tell him. And it wasn’t just the media and Captain America fans. It was the people who knew and loved Steve Rogers.

“Steve wasn’t perfect. He lost people too, Jimmy. And he beat himself up about it just like you’re doing now. I don’t want to mess with the image you have of your father…but he was a flawed person just like you and me. Hell, just like everyone.”

Jimmy’s eyes swelled with tears. “I never even knew him, so why does it feel like I’m always trying to make him proud?”

Bucky’s heart hurt at Jimmy’s confession.

“Steve would’ve been the proudest dad in the world, Jimmy. And none of it would have anything to do with you taking over the mantle of Captain America.”

Bucky exhaled and shook his head. “He wouldn’t want you to try to live up to his legacy, Jimmy…because he knew that he couldn’t even do that. Yeah, he was the first Captain America. But without the shield, without the stupid uniforms… we all knew he was just Steve Rogers. He was just another man.”

A single tear escaped and slid down Jimmy’s face. He wiped it away roughly, scratching his skin in the process.

“Steve was stubborn. Didn’t know when to run way from a fight. He had trouble seeing the gray areas in issues. Sometimes he held people to too high of standards. Then he judged ‘em too harshly when they didn’t meet them.” Bucky paused his listing and took a breath. “Your father is the best man I’ve ever known, but that doesn’t mean he was perfect.”

Jimmy nodded, even though Bucky couldn’t see it.

“You talk to your mom about this?” Bucky asked carefully.

“No,” Jimmy answered quickly. “You know how much she worries about me. I didn’t want to freak her out.”

“Well, if anyone knows what Steve was like after a mission went wrong, it’s her. She might be better to talk to than me.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Jimmy?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you called.”

“Me too,” he admitted.

There was a beat and the tension disappeared.

“You treating that girl of yours right?” His voice suddenly got stern and father-like.

Jimmy laughed. “I think you and I both know if I wasn’t, she’d let me know and dump my sorry ass.”

Bucky chuckled, knowing Jimmy was right.

“How’s Frankie?” Jimmy asked about his teenage sister. It seemed like yesterday he was chasing a toddler around the house and now she was becoming a young woman.

“I swear, Jimmy...Teenage girls are a different species,” Bucky groaned.

Jimmy just laughed. “That bad, huh?”

“Sometimes she scares the hell outta me. Doesn’t help that she’s smarter than me in almost every way.” He exhaled. “But she’s good.”

Jimmy hummed. It was more of a courtesy to ask. His sister and him texted every single day.

“And mom?”

“Like I said, she misses the hell outta you. Do me a favor? Call her a bit more. I think it’s starting to get to her that she sees you more on the news than she sees you in person.”

“I know. I’m real sorry.” Jimmy sighed. “If it makes a difference, I miss the three of you like crazy.”

“I know you’re busy saving the world, punk. But you gotta have a life too, you know. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

Sam walked in then, carrying two giant bags from the grocery store.

“Is that Bucky?” She asked with a questioning look.

Jimmy nodded.

“Hi, Bucky!” She called out, making Jimmy smile.

Bucky chuckled on the line. “I’ll let you go. Give Sam a hug from me.”

“Will do.”

“And Jimmy? I just want to make sure you know that you can call me about this stuff, OK? You’re not going to freak me out. If anyone understands what you’re going through, it’s your family.” He hesitated. “We’re with you till the end of the line.”

Jimmy hummed in understanding.

“I know, Buck. Love you.”

“Love you too, kid. Stay safe. Be careful.”

“I’ll try my best.”

------------------------------------

A/N: So, I haven’t written a drabble or one-shot for My Eyes in ages. I was feeling uninspired and looked through asks and requests that have been sitting in my inbox, collecting dust. Lo and behold, I finally felt like I could write something.

If you haven’t already and want to emerge yourself in My Eyes ask, checking out the My Eyes Asks tag.

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kim-seungmine · 5 years

Text

stay inside the hourglass

title: stay inside the hourglass

characters: reader x felix of stray kids

genre: slice-of-life (growing up is hard y’all), romance, gap year

warnings: mentions of drinking, kind of felix-centric, this has the ugliest title ever, sometimes dialog-heavy

word count: 4475 words

summary: time is about to eat him alive and felix wonders if it’s better to leave things unsaid.

a/n: so here it is, the story based on chronosaurus and 19. i honestly don’t know if it’s good enough because i’m not in my best condition now but i hope you can relate and find comfort (and motivation!)

Seoul, D-90

“What is this?”

“Your birthday present.”

“I said I didn’t want presents, did I?”

“You did.”

“So why bother—”

“So you’ll always remember me. The one who still gave you presents no matter how many times you said no.”

Felix chuckled, staring at the small white box you forced him to take. He opened it, taking out a keyring you specially made for him. He could guess the meaning behind each pendant; a star because you adored his constellation-like freckles, a mosquito because his only talent that you acknowledged was his ability to imitate mosquito noises, a four-leaf clover because his name literally meant luck.

The last pendant, however, was something he didn’t expect. An hourglass. He stared at it long, racking his brain so he didn’t have to ask you what it meant. You were going to nag at him for hours for not getting it right and he hated it.

That, and he just didn’t want to disappoint you.

“What does this one mean?”

He didn’t want to disappoint you, but he also really had no idea. You smiled, watching the sand slowly trickled to the lower part of the chamber. “I’ll tell you later,” you chirped before flicking his forehead. “Happy birthday, Lee Yongbok.”

Felix would’ve flipped if it was anyone else who hurt him and called him Yongbok. But this was you, one of his very few true friends in Seoul, and he would keep you by his side for a lifetime, even though he knew that time would eventually eat him alive before he could tell you how much you meant to him.

“Okay,” he replied, already used to you and your so-called mysteriousness. He opened his drawer to take out his airpods case. You instantly pouted as he attached your keyring to it while he just grinned at you. “You really know how to disappoint me,” you mumbled.

“Everyone knows you only use your Beats earphones, dipshit. You can’t fool me!”

Felix didn’t know which part of “I don’t wanna celebrate my birthday this year” that his friends failed to understand, but there was nothing he could do when Seo Changbin dragged him out of their shared apartment later that day, telling him that everyone threw him a party.

“You don’t even need to change, you’re already wearing black.”

“There’s a dresscode?” Felix snarked. “Even I didn’t know about that.”

Changbin sighed as they stopped in front of Bang Chan’s apartment, which was only 2 floors above theirs. Lee Minho opened the door, the glint in his eyes indicated that he was already drunk. He grinned, patting Felix’s back before smooching his left cheek. Changbin quickly maneuvered his way in and abandoned his housemate who was now struggling to get out of Minho’s tight embrace. “Are you sad now that you’re 20?” he slurred. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Look at me!” Felix removed Minho’s arms from his shoulders, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he slowly lost consciousness.

Walking to the living room, Felix finally realized what kind of party his friends threw for him. Black balloons were sloppily glued to Chan’s gray curtain, most of them already scattered on the floor. The host had covered his white sofa with a black cloth and exchanged his usual glass table with black wooden table. Someone had written “HAPPY MOURNDAY FELIX!” on the whiteboard pinned on the wall. He assumed it was you, since it was written with a bright red marker instead of the blue ones that Chan owned.

His eyes caught a glimpse of empty boxes of pizza and bottles of soju on the floor, causing him to scoff. His friends threw him a party but didn’t even wait for him to come before actually starting the party. “Hey Felix!” Chan yelled, smiling from ear to ear from the other side of the living room. Felix gave him a distracted wave since he finally saw you, playing Charades with Hwang Hyunjin while sitting on the countertop.

“O—oh! I know this one!” you yelled, biting your lips in frustration. “Come on Y/N we played this set before!” Hyunjin groaned, proceeding to give you more hints. Felix chuckled, knowing how much you hated losing to Hyunjin.

“Aladdin!” Felix quipped, laughing as you whipped your head at him in utter despair. “Don’t be so proud.” You punched his stomach playfully. “This just means you spend too much time watching cartoons.”

Felix placed his hand around your waist loosely, unable to contain his amusement at your rambles. He swore to God he had tried to keep his distance from you, to draw a straight line between best friends and something more. It never worked—especially when you didn’t push him away—but maybe Felix never tried hard enough, and he hated himself for that. Hyunjin gave him the look, which roughly translated to, “Stop being a dick and just confess!”

“Felix, play with Y/N. We gotta prepare your cake,” Hyunjin announced, winking at the birthday boy before dashing to the balcony, where Kim Seungmin was taking photos of the cake with his new Canon camera.

“You have really nice friends,” you commented, shaking your phone so it showed a new word. Felix bit an imaginary apple before collapsing on the floor, his eyeballs rolled to the back of his eyes. “Snow White didn’t pass out like that, you’re so dramatic,” you said, smiling as he pretended to offer you the poisoned apple.

“So did you join the photography club?” he asked. You furrowed your brows, trying to understand what he was acting out. “Tiana?” you murmured. He nodded, signaling at you to move on to the next question. “Well,” you started. “I did. Seungmin was very persuasive.”

Felix darted his eyes to the drunken Minho who was fast asleep on the couch. “Did you tell your parents yet?” Your voice was barely a whisper, breaking Felix’s heart into pieces. This was the conversation he dreaded to have; he wanted to enjoy his last few months in Seoul without thinking that he wouldn’t meet you ever again.

“I did,” he answered, glancing at the word Peter Pan written on your phone screen. “Mum said no, but my Dad said he’d consider.”

“When are you leaving?” You no longer held your phone up, shoving it back to your jeans pocket instead.

“In three months.”

You huffed, resting your head on his shoulder. “Is this why you’ve been so gloomy these days?” you pointed out. Felix rested his head on top of yours, the familiar warmth of your body calmed his senses. “Who knows I’d get so attached to dumbasses like you guys?” he attempted to joke.

Last year, all Felix wanted was to figure out what his passion was and explore Korea. His parents were ecstatic because their son finally showed interest in his home country and let him take a gap year, with a condition that he’d enroll in university as soon as he returned to Sydney. He stayed with his aunt, accidentally met Chan at a restaurant where he struggled to order kimchi fried rice with his super limited Korean, and then he introduced him to all his close friends—including you.

Fast forward to a year later, Felix now lived with Changbin who desperately needed a housemate, got a part-time job at Ediya Coffee, discovered a burning passion in dancing, had 8 annoying brothers, and was helplessly in love with you.

“What did you tell them?” you said quickly, as if wanting to stop yourself. Felix pulled away to look into your eyes that he already got used to seeing at least 10 hours a day. “I told them I want to stay here and major in dance.”

“You did?”

“What did you expect me to say?”

“Well—”

“HAPPY MOURNDAY FELIX!!!!”

Chan carried the black cake (Felix wasn’t sure if it was edible) while the others sang for him. “Blow the candles! We don’t give a shit whether you want to do it or not, you have to blow candles on your birthday!” Han Jisung said. Seungmin snapped a photo as Felix closed his eyes to blow the colorful candles.

“Thanks guys, although I specifically said not to do anything today.”

“Y/N wanted to throw you a party, and they specifically said not to care about anything you said.”

You shrugged. “This isn’t even a birthday party, this is a funeral.”

“Goodbye 19!” Seungmin fake-wailed, dunking Felix’s face into the cake. The others clapped, smearing each other’s faces with whipped cream. You giggled, trying to run away but Felix caught you by the waist before squishing your cheeks with his palms.

“Ah, you’re back!” you exclaimed, looking into his eyes in a way that always made his heart stopped for a while. Felix wondered if you ever looked at anyone else the same way, but for now, he felt a bit reassured. You looked at him like he had stars in his eyes (in this case, his cheeks, but now they were all covered by whipped cream anyways), and at moments like this, Felix thought that maybe he wouldn’t lose you.

“I’m… back?”

You paused to step away from Changbin who wanted to ruin your face more before glancing back at him, still with that loving gaze Felix wanted to take a picture of and hang on his wall.

“The sparks,” you pointed at his eyes. “You’re happy again.”

The rest of the group turned to look at him better, and by the look on their faces, Felix knew they agreed with you.

Seoul, D-57

“Yongbok-ah, your Dad is calling!” Changbin shouted from the kitchen. Felix sighed, dragging his feet to where his phone was located. He didn’t need to answer the call to know what his father was going to say.

“Hi Dad.”

“Your Mum and I have talked. Are you serious with dancing?”

Changbin gave him a concerned look as Felix’s face hardened. “Yes,” he answered, firm and clear. “I have thought about everything, Dad. I want to dance. And I want to stay here.”

His father sighed on the other line, his Mum yelling something that sounded like, “That naïve boy knows nothing!”

“Have I ever disobeyed you before?” Felix argued. “I just want to do something that I love. That’s right, I was clueless when I first got here, but I’m not the same boy anymore. You guys can trust me.”

“I don’t know, son. You got good grades, why don’t you try challenging yourself?”

“Dancing is not easy, Dad.”

“We know that. Just, come home, okay? We’ll discuss this later.”

Felix let out a frustrated groan once the call ended. Changbin sat across him, opening a can of beer. “You know things won’t work out if you keep being like that, right?”

“Like what?”

“Like this. Snobbish and stubborn.”

Felix met his housemate’s eyes, biting his lips when he realized how serious Changbin’s eyes looked. “All you do is mopping around everywhere while you only have a few months to be here. Y/N and the others are trying to make you as happy as possible, and what have you done?”

“I never asked you guys to do any of that for me.” His tone was harsh and Felix regretted it as soon as those words slipped out of his month. Changbin got up from his seat, throwing the empty beer can to the trashcan.

“You’re right,” he answered. “You never asked anything but we did it anyways. Why? Because we think of you as our friend. Do you even realize how much Y/N has done for you?”

“It’s not my fault that I have to leave! It’s not my fault that I like Y/N, and it’s definitely not my fault that I can’t tell them that,” Felix challenged. Changbin shrugged, taking his jacket from the nightstand before walking out.

“None of this is your fault,” he agreed. “But acting like you’re the most unlucky person in the world and doing nothing to change that isn’t right either. Especially when feelings are involved. But you do you, man.”

When your name appeared on his phone screen, Felix wasn’t sure whether he wanted to cry in happiness or bang his head on the wall. He hadn’t seen you for weeks, and it wasn’t that he tried to avoid you, but he had been dancing any chance he got. He begged Minho to take him to every of his gig to observe, but after the second gig the dancer officially asked him to join his crew. But the truth was, he did kind of use it as a reason to reply to your messages late.

Felix had no idea how to face you and hid his feelings. Maybe he didn’t have to, but it would be unfair. He tried to ask Chan what to do, but his Sydney mate only said that all he needed to do was listen to himself. A very cliché, movie-like answer—although it wasn’t exactly wrong.

Another message from you came in, and as much as Felix wanted to make this easier for you (and him), he missed you a lot. So he replied, got out of his bed, and sprinted to your place.

“Can we order pizza?” he said as soon as you opened your door. You nodded, looking somehow surprised at his presence. “I thought you weren’t coming,” you mumbled, letting him in. Felix slipped into the pink slippers you specially prepared for him whenever he came over, and somehow, he felt like he was home.

“Where are the others?”

You plopped onto your beanbag, scrolling through movies on Netflix that had “zombie” in the titles. Felix took a seat beside you, watching you read the movies’ descriptions. “Jisung has a date—”

“Oh that’s surprising.”

You chuckled. “Changbin and Woojin are at work, Chan is busy composing for—wait. You didn’t read the group chat?”

Felix scratched the back of his head as if he had been caught. He hadn’t been really talking to any of his friends except Minho since his fight with Changbin. “I-I,” he stuttered. “Probably accidentally turned the notifs off.”

You frowned, but was quickly distracted as you finally found the movie you wanted to watch—which didn’t have any correlation to zombies. “I wanted to believe you, but I think you’re avoiding us. Am I right?”

The movie had started playing, but you shifted your gaze to him. “What’s wrong? Are you upset because we threw you a party when you said you didn’t one? Are you upset with me?”

Felix shook his head. “Not at all, but things have been pretty… complicated.”

“Mind to elaborate?”

“I’m leaving soon.”

“We’re fully aware of that, Felix.”

He ran his hand through his hair, desperately trying to form words that wouldn’t make him sound like an ungrateful asshole. “Yeah, it’s just—it’s hard. I want to stay, but—”

“Do you really want to stay?” you whispered, pausing the movie before giving him a stern look.

Felix felt his body burning—why was it so hard for you, Changbin, his other friends, and his parents to understand that he never wanted to leave? That he had found a new home which could be scary, but also beautiful?

“Oh God. First Changbin, now you. Why won’t anyone believe me?!”

You tried to blink your tears away, which broke Felix’s heart because he knew how much you hated crying in front of other people. “Because you’re not fighting for it, Felix! You’re not fighting for us or even yourself and suddenly I’m not sure about anything anymore. Time never slows down for anyone!”

Now you were sobbing, your head hung low. Felix threw his arms around you, rubbing your back slowly as you let out everything you had been holding in. You didn’t say anything for the rest of the night, not even when he said he would come over again later.

When Felix reached his aunt’s house at 2:48 AM, still wearing your pink slippers, it hit him. Out of all things he was afraid of, disappointing you was what he feared the most. Sadly, just like how this world worked, the one you were closest with was always the one whom disappointed you the most.

Felix had become that person for you, probably since a long time ago and he only realized it now. Tears started rolling down his cheeks, and before he could stop himself, he was already sobbing the way you did a few hours ago. He cried and cried and cried until his eyes felt dry and his throat felt raw.

He didn’t feel any better.

“You’re earl—wait what happened?!”

Minho panicked as he spotted Felix entering the dance studio with a camcorder and swollen eyes. The latter only shook his head and waved his camcorder. “Minho, can I record myself dancing for the rest of my time here?” he asked.

“Sure you can, we usually record ourselves anyways, but why?”

Felix smiled, turning on his camcorder and setting it next to Minho’s laptop before warming up. Minho joined him, and the stretching session soon turned into a flexibility showoff. Both of them laughed when Felix managed to do a perfect split and surprised himself.

“Seriously though, why are you doing this?” Minho repeated, waving to the camera.

“I want to stay here.”

Minho ran to his laptop to play a new song. “Isn’t that clear?” he teased, glancing at his friend.

“Yeah, but not clear enough.”

“Y/N I need to tell you something,” Felix rasped the moment you opened the door. You made a way for him to enter your flat, ignoring his Converse that he forgot to wear on his way out yesterday. Before he reached the living room, you stopped him. “Leave them in the bathroom, they’re dirty,” you said, pointing at your slippers he was wearing.

“I’m sorry,” Felix responded. “For the slippers, and for everything.” He stared at them before taking them off. “I didn’t want to disappoint you, but I did just that, didn’t I?”

Felix cupped your face, automatically wiping the corners of your eyes when he noticed you tearing up. “You were so bright, like these slippers,” he whispered. “I did everything with you, but forgot to take care of you. Too scared to show how much you mean to me. Now you’re even crying in front of me.”

“I didn’t want to say I love you because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stay with you. I didn’t want you to be sad, but maybe I didn’t want me to be sad. I know this is too late and I’ve kept you waiting for so long, but I love you.”

“I really want to stay, I really want to be with the others, I really want to dance. And most importantly, I really want to be with you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen. I’m sorry that the fight with Changbin and you needed to happen before I came back to my senses, I’m—”

You caught his lips with your fingers, chuckling at how much he resembled a fish with his lips puckered. “If you’re sorry, wash the slippers yourself, okay?”

Felix whined, but walked towards the bathroom immediately. “Wait, there’s no ‘I forgive you Felix?’, ‘I love you too, Felix’, ‘Please stay with me, Felix’?” he protested, pouting as you returned to your room.

“Make sure to turn off the lights when you leave, Yongbok!”

Seoul, D-15

“Where’s the submit button?”

“There, bottom right.”

“Where?!”

“Goddamn it, Felix it’s right. there!”

Changbin grabbed the mouse from Felix and scrolled down, clicking the submit button. “Okay, it’s done!”

“Now what do we do?” Felix asked, plopping back to his bed. “The announcement for early admission is still two months away, I feel so empty now.”

“Still no words from your parents?”

“Well they said we’ll discuss this again if I get accepted.”

“What if you don’t?”

“I’ll apply again? The new semester won’t start until next year anyways.”

Felix had decided to apply to one of the most prestigious Arts colleges in Korea after recording all his dance practices and competitions (he only joined 2, but Minho was kind enough to let him be the center for all of them).

You opened the door with a loud bang, your eyes twinkled even brighter than usual. “What happened? Did they respond?” Changbin muttered, getting more excited as you nodded rapidly.

“Who responded to what?” Felix frowned, but both Changbin and you ignored him and were busy talking among yourselves. “They’re gonna tell him soon. We did it!” you shouted and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Guys, what’s going on?!”

You finally looked at Felix who looked lost and betrayed. Changbin punched his biceps with a huge grin on his face before leaving with no words. As soon as the door was shut, you jumped to his lap, curling your arms around his neck.

“Mind to tell me what’s making you so happy that you forgot about me and hugged Changbin instead?” he said, failed to keep his sarcastic tone since your eyes twinkled with so much joy he hadn’t seen for quite a long time.

You released him, running to his balcony—where you two often hung out when it wasn’t too cold or too hot. Felix followed you, taking your extended hand before pulling you into his arms. “Come on, babe,” he begged. “I’m dying here.”

“You’re going to stay here,” you stated, adjusting your position so you could look into his eyes. “Stay… where?” he asked, completely dumfounded.

“Here. With us.”

Felix tightened his hold on you as his legs wobbled. “WHAT?! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?”

You took out your phone from your pocket and played a video for him. “We took turns to record you during your last few months here, starting on your birthday. I thought that the only way to convince your parents that you love it here is by showing them.”

The video showed Felix on many occasions with you and his 8 friends; during his mournday party, during a movie night at Chan’s flat, during a dinner Felix’s aunt invited you to, during the random but entertaining dance battle with Minho, and also during a totally mundane afternoon with Changbin.

Felix knew he was happy with all of you, but he never realized he was that happy. He felt his eyes brim with tears when he got to the last part of the video, in which he played Charades with you on his birthday.

Felix was the happiest with you, and he never wanted to let go.

“How in the world did you guys do this?” he sniffled, pulling you back to his embrace. You pulled him even closer, listening to his heartbeat. “How in the world did you not notice?” you giggled. Felix laughed along with you, pressing a kiss on the top of your head.

“I asked your aunt to contact your parents, and they allowed me to send the video,” you explained. “They called me this morning and told me that you don’t need to go back.”

“They told you before they told me?”

You slapped his back. “We dedicated a masterpiece for you and this is your response?”

“Sorry,” Felix winced. “And thank you.”

Felix pulled away, melting as you smiled at him. “Well done.” You patted his hair. “You’ve practiced so hard, I’m proud of you.”

His heart clenched a little bit when you said that you were proud of him. That was exactly what he wanted to hear, but at the same time he wanted to hear more.

“And I love you.”

You gave Felix a quick peck on his lips and he desperately wanted to have your lips on his again, but he decided to stay still. You finally said that you loved him; that was all he needed to hear.

“You won’t ever have to doubt me anymore,” he said. “I’m not going to promise that I will never make you sad again, but I promise that I’ll always try my hardest for you. For us. I’m not going to hold back anymore, okay? Even if we’re running out of time.”

You were about to give him another peck, but he stopped you. “Speaking about time, will you tell me about the hourglass pendant you gave me? Can you tell me what it means now?”

Felix showed his phone to you, causing you to yelp when you found out that he had removed the said pendant from the original keyring and attached it to his phone instead. “Well, you’ve said it yourself,” you began. “I didn’t expect you to know what it means because it feels so personal.”

“Hourglass represents time, a reminder for us that time doesn’t stop for anyone, that everyone in this world has limited time. Time will catch up on us; we’ll run out of time and die, but I don’t care about that. Our time is limited, and I want to spend my limited time with you.”

“Is there anything else you want to say?” Felix asked after you stopped talking.

“Why?”

“I want to listen anything you say about time with that pretty voice of yours, but I also really want to kiss you.”

“Oh alright, kiss me then. But tell them to close the curtain first, please.”

Felix darted his eyes to the window, perplexed when he saw all of his friends standing there watching him and you. “No way!” Seungmin shouted, lifting his phone. “We have to show your parents this!” Hyunjin and Minho whistled along with the rest of the boys, causing Felix to hide his face on the crook of your neck.

“I was the one editing the video and I have many clips of your ugly faces that I won’t hesitate to post,” you threatened, still with a sweet smile on your face. The boys groaned, letting Chan drag them outside.

You caressed your boyfriend’s hair while he was muttering about how embarrassed he was. “You were acting so cool a few minutes ago, wanting to kiss me and all. Where did that Felix go?”

He lifted his head, his cheeks still a bit flushed. “Do you still want me to talk with this pretty voice of mine or—”

As soon as Felix captured your lips with his, everything that happened the past few months didn’t matter anymore. You were right there in his arms, mumbling about how you doubted that this was his first kiss because he was “so damn good in this.” His heart felt light and warm, and while he knows that this was only the beginning, he wasn’t afraid.

Felix was finally ready to confront time, to make every second of it worth the pain.

more a/n: if you’ve reached this part, congratulations and thank you, as always! i’m sorry if felix can be so frustrating here, but that’s the whole point of this story: to allow him learn and grow from his mistakes.

176 notes · View notes

x-useobwa-x · 5 years

Text

༄ are you mad? | 너 화났어?

Jungkook x Reader

➺ Word count: + 1k

╰Due to his PC being broken, Jungkook finds himself visiting the internet cafe daily for hours to play Overwatch. He's an outstanding player, by far better than many of his teammates and he carries his games, but there's one player he always encounters over and over again.

a/n: yooo! I've been itching to write this short thing for a while already! It's nothing special or anything, but I really enjoyed it! It was a nice change from my usual stuff! 🤧👌🏼

Start reading!

⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣

Jesus fucking christ.

„Fuck!“ he curses under his breath.

This is the seventh time he got sniped down out of the blue and everytime he peeks at the kill-feed, he's burning with rage.

It's the same name. All over again, he's getting killed by the same goddamn player. This has been going on since the day his PC broke.

How it broke in the first place? Well, in his opinion it was because of said player. Even while he was playing at home, he already got hunted down by that one person behind the screen somewhere in the world, making him question all the talent he actually has. At some point he got so angry that he lost his control and kept kicking his computer, loaded with rage.

This is now two weeks ago, and he can't get over the fact that this guy is better than him. Usually he would look up to these better than him, but with this goddamn little shit he just can't get any clear thoughts.

He's so fixated on finding the enemies' Widowmaker that he got too careless and- shoot.

„What the FUCK,“ he yells into his headset, having the majority of the internet cafe turning around and giving him looks.

This damn guy.

Venom. Once again, it was Venom that shot him down.

‚I'm so sick and tired of this dude. Jesus fucking christ.‘

Jungkook is far beyond reaching his limit. This has to be settled, once and for good. He's furiously typing something down in the game-chat.

[Seagull: yo venom, after this game, let's go 1vs1 and lets put an end to this. Its been weeks and you can't seem to fucking stop.]

[Venom: lol what you so triggered for. its just a game bro.]

‚It's just a game? Jesus christ. This... this dude really is something.‘

[Seagull: are you scared?]

[Venom: nope. just not serious about this game. but if you insist, lol sure.]

Jungkook is evily grinning to himself.

This will be the last time he'll get his ass whooped by Venom. That dude might be good with 5 other players on his team that distract Jungkook, but on a 1vs1 battle he definitely will have the upper hand.

„Kook are you sure you want to do that?“ Seokjin calls out to him through the voice chat.

„Yeah I am. I am so sick of getting my ass beaten by that kid, I have to.“

„Well, good luck, because the game's ending now.“

Jungkook doesn't fucking care. He just wants to settle this. He has to show off that he's better, he has to-

‚What the actual fuck?‘

Now he's really pissed. As soon as the game finishes and the ‚Play of the game‘ comes up, he has to fight the urge to throw away the keyboard.

The recap shows one of the many times Venom has shot him down, and it wasn't even a good one in Jungkooks opinion.

[Seagull: wow kinda sad that you got the POTG with that.]

[Venom: you butthurt or smth?]

„B-butthurt??“ he scoffs. „This little...“

„Well. See you, Kook. Good luck with Venom.“ Seokjin says and leaves the group.

He's waiting. He's waiting for Venom to invite him into a private game so he can restore his pride. He is butthurt, but that doesn't mean that he has to admit that to everyone.

[GROUP INVITATION FROM VENOM]

,Finally. Took him long enough.‘ is all he thinks as he clicks ,accept‘.

[Venom: widowmaker 1vs1?]

[Seagull: yes ofc]

[Venom: lol aight]

As both of them enter the game, Jungkooks fingers are itching to turn this around.

‚5...4...3...2...1...go!‘ the game counts down and both of them rush out of their bases to hide.

Jungkook is concentrating with all he has while he zooms into his scope as he tries to track down Venom.

„There you are,“ he whispers as he finds the hated enemy and slowly moves his cursor to steady his aim on Venoms head.

‚Gotcha!‘

Jungkook immediately takes the lead. He's feeling so content right now- they're roughly 20 seconds in and he already shot him down. Using the time until Venom respawns, he repositions himself and hides, scope fixated in the direction of the enemy's base.

‚Come out, come on, show yourself.‘

Just as he finished his thought, he gets shot, and Jungkook can‘t help but stare in disbelief. Where the fuck did he hide? Why didn't he see him? He hates to admit it, but that was a very good play.

[Seagull: yo wtf. that was actually sick,,,]

[Venom: thx broski]

[Seagull: nah we aint bros man. but still, that was dope as fuck.]

The game keeps going like this; both are pretty much equally good, and Jungkook hates that he realizes that. Well, at least he isn't worse. But what actually is worse, is that he starts enjoying playing with Venom. It has been ages that Jungkook met someone that could keep up with his skill.

It stands 29-29 right now, the game limit being 30 kills. This is now going to decide things.

[Venom: this is actually pretty fun. i mean, i have my cursor on your head for the past 2 minutes but i don't want to shoot, i'on want this to be over yet]

[Seagull: ikr, tbh i even feel bad for all the hate and the tons of reports i sent in because of you lmao]

[Venom: EXCUSE ME WHAT CNXND YOU REPORTED ME??? YOU ASSHAT I GOT EXP PENALTY BECAUSE OF YOU I—]

[Seagull: ,,,sOrry??? idk man you really pissed me off ajfksk i hated that you were better its not even that you were better its just that you were always so cOckY OOF i hated it but ur actually?? pretty fun??]

[Venom: lol i'm sorry but your reactions always were gold kfkdls]

[Seagull: yea i,,, i can see that LOL i got pretty worked up. I even crushed my computer in anger oops]

[Venom: you did wHat]

[Seagull: HFKDKDL LET ME BE]

Jungkook is smiling to himself. This guy isn't all too bad after all. Not even half as cocky as he thought. Maybe he'd even end up teaming up with him some time. That thought is immediately cancelled again, though.

Suddenly, his character falls, shot down by the person he just praised for not being as bad as he initially thought. Fuck that.

[Seagull: WHAT THE FUCK BRUH??]

[Venom: lol i thought i'm not your bro]

[Seagull: yEah NOT ANYMORE NOW,,,]

[Venom: are you mad?]

[Seagull: uhh y e s ?? I thought we didn't want to finish this fkdkls]

[Venom: IM SORRY BUT YOUR REACTIONS REALLY JUST ARE SO GOOD I CANT HELP IT-]

Jungkook sighs. He wants to be pissed, but he can't really. He knows it was just meant as a joke, but still, that means the game is over now, and he's kind of feeling sad.

[Seagull: yo... you maybe wanna stay in the group and keep talking a bit? y'know, just being on the title screen and ,,, t a l k]

[Venom: u mean voice chat?]

[Seagull: yea i mean if you want to,,,]

[Venom: uhh sure why not]

Jungkook enables the voice chat and waits for Venom to do the same.

As soon as he gets the notification that his new mate joined the voice chat, there's some sort of awkward silence; it seems like neither of them wants to go first, but then they happen to start talking at the same time.

„Uhh hello?“

„Uhm, hi?“

Silence. Jungkooks eyes widen an unreal amount and his mouth slightly falls open.

There are two things that he would like to point out. First, the voice belongs to a girl, which he didn't expect at all. But the second thing is, that the voice came from nowhere else than the booth right next to him.

He jumps out of his chair and watches as you do the exact same- and there you both are, looking at each other like two idiots.

„You- you're Venom??“

„You are Seagull? Dude we've been both coming here everyday sitting in the same damn places??“

„As if I didn't figure that yet. What the- so you are the person that keeps hunting me down?“ he says as if he's just figured out all the mysteries of the world.

„What do you mean ‚hunting you down‘? YOU are hunting me down!“

The both of you stare at each other, pouts on your faces before you burst into laughter.

What the actual fuck is happening right now? An hour ago he wished to rip the gamer that goes by the name Venom into pieces, and now he's standing infront of you and your smile and the melody of your laughter is sending his stomach tingling. Is this what people call ‚love at the first sight‘? Because if so, that's definitely what's happening right now. A girl? Not to mention a very beautiful one? Playing his favorite game almost better than he himself does? And on top of that she's funny and seems nice so far? He'd be damned if he'd let this opportunity slide. He could be living the dream of many, many men and he's not one to pass a chance he'd like to take.

„You know, what do you think about us just logging out for now and grab a coffee together? Getting to know each other and continuing our talk offline?“ he smirks, eyes big and full of hope.

„Hmm, I guess that does sound fair, I mean, I owe you one for all the teasing and for your broken computer, huh?“

„You totally do,“ he says as a wide smile starts spreading across his lips.

232 notes · View notes

avengerscompound · 5 years

Text

At a Cellular Level - Part 1

At a Cellular Level: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC (Alex Swann)

Word Count: 8197

Warnings: Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, virgin reader, smut (M|F oral sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, loss of virginity (Steve and Readers))

Synopsis: Alex Swann has lived a tortured life. She has been broken down and built into something else. When she loses the only person she trusts SHIELD don’t know what to do with her. Until Steve Rogers steps in.

Part One

Steve rode the elevator down alone gazing across the Washington skyline. After the events in New York, he had wanted to get back into the world, protect people again. SHIELD seemed to be the place to do that. With SHIELD he could be the soldier he knew how to be. So when Fury had invited him he’d accepted.

The elevator stopped and Steve stepped out into the lobby. He started striding across the room towards the exit. He could feel eyes following him as he walked. He hated feeling like some kind of circus freak. Hopefully, people would get used to seeing him around so he wouldn’t feel like a spectacle.

Natasha Romanoff popped up in front of him as if she’d appeared out of nowhere.

“Captain Rogers.” She said a half smile on her face.

“Agent Romanoff,” Steve replied guardedly.

“Relax, Steve. I’m not going to bite.” She said. “I’m happy to see you’ve joined our ranks. It will be fun.”

Steve didn’t reply. He liked Natasha, but as yet he didn’t fully trust her.

“I do have something I want to run past you. Can you follow me?” She said and started walking back to the elevator. Steve hesitated for a moment, and then followed.

As the doors closed behind them Steve spoke. “What is it, Natasha?”

She shook her head. “It’s difficult to explain. SHIELD is doing something … I don’t know how I feel about it.” She said. She looked really conflicted, something Steve had never seen in her before. “You have a pretty strong moral compass though.”

“I like to think so,” Steve said.

They stopped on a basement level and stepped out into a long white corridor. Steve followed Natasha to a room. It was narrow and dark, with a glass wall that looked into a larger, well-lit area that resembled a bedroom. It was sparsely decorated, but there was a poster featuring him on the wall. He couldn’t see anyone inside, so he walked to the glass panel. It was then he noticed a girl, just a small child, lying on the floor. She looked around seven or eight, she was tiny. A small frail pale looking child.

“Who is she, Natasha?” Steve asked. He felt a kind of anger building in him, and he wasn’t even sure why. He had no idea why SHIELD would have a child locked in a room.

“Her name is Alexandra Swann. She is enhanced.” Natasha answered and pulled a file from one of the draws that ran along.

“Enhanced like me?”

Natasha laughed. “No, not like you.” She said. “She is quite dangerous really. She can alter cells. They call her a healer. Which is true. She can heal herself and others. She was actually there when you were pulled from the ice, she kept your body from going into shock as it thawed. But she is much, much more than that. She can alter her form, the form of other living things. She could turn a plant into a dog. She could remove an organ from your body and she wouldn’t even need to touch you.”

Steve peered in at the form lying on the ground unmoving. So much power in such a little body.

A SHIELD agent came through the bedroom door. “Get up off the floor, Alex!” He snapped at the tiny little shape. It shifted and made a pained whimpering noise. The agent grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the bed. She did not look well, he head rolled as she moved to the bed, and when she sat down, she had trouble sitting up. The agent handled her roughly. He pulled a syringe from his pocket and injected something in her upper arm.

Steve’s fist clenched. Natasha put her hand on his arm. “It’s a sedative.”

“She’s just a child. What’s happening here?” Steve asked, his voice was low, and he was using all his willpower not to just storm in there and grab the girl.

“That’s not exactly true,” Natasha replied. She handed a photo to Steve from the file. It showed a young woman, in the same room. A photo that was taken from almost exactly where they were standing now. The woman still had the pale skin and raven hair of the child he was looking at, but she looked around 20. She was sitting at a table with Phil Coulson and they were both laughing. “That is how I first saw her. Though she doesn’t know me. She can change her form. I think she’s made herself look younger to protect herself.”

“Natasha, whatever is happening here, you’d better tell me,” Steve said, he was now confused and had no idea what he was doing here. The agent had left the girl alone again, and as soon as he had closed the door she fell on the bed and stopped moving.

“Alexandra was found at a facility run by an organization known as AIM. Her father was a scientist there. He’d been injecting her with his version of the super soldier serum they used on you. One of the thousands that so many others have tried to replicate.” She paused for a moment, rifling through the papers. “She’s actually nineteen. So still, not old, but not the child you’re looking at. When her powers manifested at AIM she was only a child. Around thirteen. They fitted her with this device in her spine. It meant they could control her gross motor function. They used her as a weapon, and they tortured her.” She handed Steve a photograph face down. “That one is hard to look at. They would perform vivisection on her. You know, when something is dissected while still fully conscious. They wanted to test her bodies abilities at repairing itself.”

Steve turned the picture over and felt physically ill. She was a child in this photograph, and she was lying on a steel table, cut open, some of her organs had been removed. And she was screaming, her face contorted in pure pain and terror. Her eyes looked like they were creating a form of electricity. He turned the picture back over and dropped it to the floor. Natasha picked it up and slid it back into the file.

“Phil Coulson was the one that found her. He disabled the device in her spine. On the way out of the building, they passed an AIM scientist who was being placed under arrest. She tore him into so many pieces they weren’t able to identify his body. A few agents who witnessed it quit on the spot. She was pretty damaged as you can imagine.” Natasha paused again. She had more to say but was thinking about how to say it.

“So she’s here because she’s dangerous and they drug her to keep her powers under control?” Steve asked. He didn’t know what Natasha wanted from him? His advice? For him to storm in there and save her? To assure her he thought they were doing the right thing?

“Yes and no.” Natasha sighed. “Phil got through to her. It took a lot of work. But she trusted him. She opened up to him. Like I said, I never met her. I was a contingency plan. She has some key phrases that have been programmed into her. If she hears them she’ll pass out. I have one. There are others who know of her but have never met her that have others. But I had watched her and Phil together from here, and he’d told me about her. She was always going to be scared of the world, but she trusted him. And he was sure she could go and function in society. The poster of you, that’s him. He shared comics and stories about you with her. She saw you as an inspiration. You were both made of the same thing, and if you could be good, she wanted to be good too. When she had the opportunity to help you, hearing Phil tell it, she was as excited as a kid on their birthday. She got to help her hero. She was never a prisoner here, Steve. She still technically isn’t. She was here because she was scared of the world and Phil was helping her.”

“So what happened? Why is she like this now?”

“She had another handler. He told her about what happened to Phil. She lost it. He got hurt. They started sedating her as a precaution. She can still sort of use her abilities sedated, but she has no energy to. I’m worried about her though, Steve. This is not the girl I saw with Phil. She does not resemble the person he spoke of. I came to check on her a week ago. I have been watching that guy with her. I think she’s reverted to a child because she’s scared of him. He manhandles her a lot. I think as a child she thinks maybe he will be more sympathetic to her. Or maybe I’m projecting. Maybe she has just completely reverted to childhood as a coping mechanism for losing the person she saw as a father figure. I don’t know.”

Steve sighed, his shoulders slumped. “What do you want from me, Natasha?”

She shook her head sadly. “Tell me SHIELD is doing the right thing? Get her out of here if they aren’t. I don’t know. This feels wrong to me Steve, but I’m not used to knowing what the right thing is.”

“If you think it’s wrong, why don’t you take her out of here?”

Natasha looked at her feet. “I did.” She said softly.

Steve was shocked, he wasn’t sure if he heard her right. “You did? Did I hear that right?”

“She is so scared of everything. She doesn’t know me and she freaked out. She wouldn’t go with me.”

Steve leaned against the glass his arms folded. He felt stuck. If Natasha was this worried then there was something wrong. It didn’t feel right that’s for sure. But could he just go in there and take her out of here without any repercussions? And then what anyway? Where would he take her? “You think she’d go with me?”

“I don’t know. You’re her hero. She might. All I know is that we try that, or she stays here drugged forever. And for her, that really does mean forever.”

The SHIELD agent was back again. He had a bowl of something this time. “Alex! Sit up!” He snapped. Alex didn’t move, so he wrestled her into a sitting position. He went to spoon some food into her mouth, she took it initially, but then spat it at him. He dropped the bowl to the floor, soup spilled across the tiles. He slapped her across the face, her head rocked back and she slumped on the bed.

That was it. Steve was furious. “Take me in there, Romanoff.” He ordered.

She jogged to the hall and turned the corner and opened the door into the bedroom. Steve stormed inside

“Get your hands off her.” Steve spat.

The agent turned suddenly. His first response was to strike a defensive pose. When he saw what he was facing he dropped it. “I’m sorry Captain Rogers, but this doesn’t concern you.” He said.

“You just hit a child. That concerns me.” Steve said. “I’m taking her out of here. You won’t stop me.”

He could see the agent consider fighting him, his body tensed momentarily and he clenched his fists. “Fury will hear about this.” He said anger seethed through him.

“I hope he does, son. Please tell him.” Steve said. The agent stormed out.

Steve approached the girl. She was hunched over on the bed. He sat next to her and gently put his hand on her arm. She turned her head and looked up at him blinking.

“Alexandra?” Steve said softly. She stared up at him, her bright green eyes slightly out of focus. “Do you know who I am?”

“Captain Rogers?” She asked, her voice was soft and raspy. Like she hadn’t used it for a long time.

“That’s right.” He said softly. “Would you like to come with me? Leave this place?”

She nodded and reached her hands out to him. He took her by the arm and started helping her feet. Her eyes began to glow, it was like seeing purple lightning build around them, and her form shimmered.

“Don’t try and use your abilities now. It will just drain you.” Steve said trying to soothe her. It worked, she powered down and her form settled again.

He supported her as they left the room. She could barely hold herself upright to walk. But he wanted to make sure it was her walking out of here. If Natasha was right, and she was allowed to leave of her own free will, he wanted to make sure it was very clear that she had actually left of her own free will.

They made it to the lobby and Fury was waiting for them.

“Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff. I see you’ve met our friend, Alex. Were you planning on taking her out to lunch?” Fury asked he was as calm as he ever was.

“She has decided she wants to leave, Nick,” Natasha said. “She is free to leave, isn’t she? We don’t keep prisoners here. Especially ones who haven’t ever done anything wrong. Or am I wrong?”

“She’s free to leave. Is that what you want Alex? You want to leave?”

Alex stumbled back from him and whimpered. Steve pulled her to him protectively.

“She’s dangerous, Rogers. If you want to be responsible for her when she leaves this building, then so be it. But if she hurts anyone, that will be on you. And you won’t be able to protect her if she does. She will be taken out.”

“I just witnessed the agent you had responsible for her care hit her. She isn’t staying here, Fury.” Steve said. He had drawn himself up to his full height.

“That agent will be court marshaled. We can find another. I won’t stop you from taking her out of here. You’ll still be welcome back. You won’t be thrown out of SHIELD, but you will be making a mistake.”

“Phil wouldn’t think so,” Natasha said. “Come on Steve.” She started marching towards the door. Steve followed slowly, supporting Alex as she shuffled along beside him.

They stepped out into the open air, Natasha was waiting. “Now what?” Steve asked her. “Where do we take her?”

Natasha glanced around her like somehow there would be an answer just ready and waiting for her. “Your place?”

“My place? My one bedroom apartment?” Steve shook his head. “There has to be somewhere better than that.”

Natasha looked at Alex, she was so fragile looking. Deceptive really. “Do you want to stay with me, Alex?”

Alex almost stumbled backward away from her, shaking her head and raising her arms over her face like she was expecting to be hit.

“I guess that’s not going to work.” Natasha shrugged. “I don’t know what else we can do. Not until she’s back to herself. I think it has to be with you.”

Steve sighed. “Fine, my place it is. But I can’t take her on my bike. Not in the state she’s in.”

Natasha led them to her car. A black Audi. It took a bit of convincing but they managed to get Alex into the back seat. She fell asleep on the drive.

Back at Steve’s apartment, they sat Alex on his couch. She stared ahead blankly. Panic started to take hold of Steve. He took Natasha by the arms and pushed her into his kitchen.

“What am I going to to do with her?” He said at a loud whisper.

“I think you’ll be okay. Once the sedatives wear off, she should be functioning normally. She might be scared because of all the new things that have happened to her, but she likes you. You can see that right? And don’t forget, she’s not actually a child. She just looks like one. You don’t need to babysit her.”

“Except I do, because she’s powerful enough to rip a person into thousands of pieces according to you.”

“Well, I guess you’ll have to make sure she never feels like she has to do that,” Natasha said.

They walked back into the lounge. Alex had fallen asleep again.

“They were keeping her really heavily sedated, Steve. Her abilities mean her body is always fighting against it. So it shouldn’t be much longer before it’s worn off. Call me if you need me.”

“You’re leaving?” Steve asked, panicked.

“Yes. You’ll be better off if I’m not here. She doesn’t trust me.” And with that, she left.

Alex stirred several hours later. It was dark and the apartment was still. She knew where she was and how she’d gotten here, but in a far off way, like it had been a dream. She glanced around the room using her powers to look for life. There was a plant, it was well on the way to being dead. She got up, and walked over to it, putting a finger on one of its lifeless leaves she focused on renewing the cells. The cells began dividing and replacing each other at a rapid rate and the plant came to life under her touch. She could feel the sparks around her eyes as she used her ability, a weird side effect of the expended energy she used. It made her feel light headed. How long since she’d last eaten anyway?

She walked down the hall and opened the door at the end of the hall. It was a bedroom. She could see the shape of the man sleeping in the bed. Captain America. Steve Rogers. She knew it was him because of the way his cells glittered as they went through mitosis at an accelerated rate, and how they were just different to a normal person. Altered. Like hers.

He had taken her away from SHIELD. It hadn’t been a dream at all. She was still not sure what had happened there. Phil had left her, something to do with saving the world. She had wanted to go and help. She knew she could do it. But he had said she wasn’t ready for that yet. She didn’t have proper control over her abilities, they were too fuelled by emotion, and she was prone to making mistakes when she was under stress. So she waited for him to come back. He never did, and when Andy told her he had been killed a surge of energy had exploded from her. She passed out and when she had woken everything had been foggy. It had been foggy for weeks now. She hadn’t seen Andy again. Maybe he was dead too.

She stepped back out of his room and found a bathroom. She studied herself in the mirror. When had she made herself a child again? She couldn’t even remember doing that? Maybe her body just did it of its own accord. That kind of thing happened sometimes when she was threatened. The people at AIM found it frustrating. She’d grow a shell to stop them cutting her or spikes if they went to hit her. She never meant to, she didn’t even have conscious control of her body at that point, it just defended her. But making herself a child was new. She scrunched up her face and concentrated on returning her body to the one she liked best. It took a lot of energy, but when she was done, she looked in her early twenties. Technically a little older than she actually was. Her hair was long and straight black, her body thin but muscular, like a gymnast. Her green eyes sparkled. Her mother had once drawn a picture of her real father. Not the man who had experimented on her and tortured her. The actual man who she shared her genes with. She always made herself look like a female version of that picture. That man may have left, but he didn’t cut her open on a table and wait for her to put herself back together again. She wasn’t sure how she would have looked if she didn’t have her powers. There is a vague memory of a small mousy child, but so much had happened, that life felt more like a dream than something she’d actually experienced.

Changing had made her feel weak. She also hadn’t thought it through very well, because, while the clothes she had had on before the change had been very large on her tiny child’s frame, they were now way, way too small. And she had no way to do anything about changing them. They were not alive things she could alter or make grow.

She turned to leave the bathroom. Captain Rogers was standing in the doorway. She was startled and in her weakened state, she stumbled backward with a yelp.

“Alex? Do you remember me?” Steve asked. He sounded kind but afraid. He was afraid of her. Everyone was always afraid of her.

“Yes.” Her voice was raspy. “You’re Captain Rogers. You helped me, like I helped you.”

He held his hand out to her. She took it hesitantly. “That’s right.” He said. “Are you alright?”

His body was like fire to her. Everything about him burned brightly and intensely. She had trouble seeing what he looked like to normal people because of the intensity of the things happening within him at a cellular level. It was like watching fireworks.

“I changed.” She whispered.

“I can see that.”

“My clothes don’t fit anymore.”

He laughed. It wasn’t mean or malicious. He wasn’t laughing at her. He was laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. “Come with me.”

She followed him into his room, he pulled a t-shirt from his drawer. “That will be really big on you.” He said. “I don’t know what else I can give you to wear though. I have a neighbor, she’s a nurse so she may well be up. Let me just go and see if she is.”

He left the room and it was like the lights had been turned off. She had been seeing things off the light his own body produced. She pulled off her clothes. It was actually quite difficult, they were so small on her, she had to tear them in some places to get them to shift. She was standing naked facing the wall, about to pull the shirt on, when Steve reappeared behind her.

“Oh, oh no! I’m sorry!” He yelped.

She pulled on the shirt. It was very big on her. It hung loose and reached her mid-thigh. She turned to face him. He had his arm covering his eyes. “It’s okay. I’ve decent. Ish.” She smiled.

Steve uncovered his eyes. He was having trouble reconciling the small child he’d bought into the apartment earlier today with this beautiful woman who was here now, wearing his shirt. “Sorry, it’s all dark in there. I don’t want to wake her. Will you be okay in just that for now? I’ll send a text message to Natasha. Have her bring some clothes in the morning.”

Alex sat down at the end of the bed and watched him. He was slow at typing the message, still getting used to the technology. Alex started to feel a little faint. Her vision started to swim a little and she swayed on the bed.

Steve looked up at her alarmed. “Alex?”

“I used too much energy. I need to replace it.” She said groggily.

“How? How do you replace it?” Steve asked. He was beginning to panic again. He didn’t know how to look after another person with abilities. What was it she needed from him.

“Food. I need to eat.” Alex said.

Steve laughed. “Oh, I can do that.” He said and got up. “I have food.”

Alex followed him down the hall and sat at his kitchen table as he pulled out leftovers from the fridge. “I have leftover fried chicken. Man, was I happy when I discovered this. And there’s this casserole thing I tried to make. It’s not very good.” He placed them both on the table. Alex took some chicken and started eating it hungrily. Barely chewing she just tore flesh from the bones and swallowed it. Steve poured her a glass of milk and she picked it up as soon as it hit the table and drained the glass in one go. Steve watched her eat completely bemused.

She only started slowing her eating after she had finished all the chicken. She still moved onto the casserole but she took her time with it.

“Feeling better?” Steve asked.

“Yes, thank you. I burn energy fast. Especially when I used my abilities. You do too, I can see it happening.” She said.

“You can see it happening?” Steve asked, his brown furrowed. Alex’s abilities scared him. Not because of what she might be capable of, but because of how completely they seemed to define everything about her.

Alex ignored his question. “Thank you for getting me out of SHIELD. I – was happy there once. I don’t know what happened. What did I do? Is Andy dead? Did I kill him?” Her emotions were getting the better of her. Tears began to leak from her eyes, and so did small purple sparks as her powers engaged. Trying to break out and protect her, they just weren’t sure what the risk was yet.

Steve touched her arm. “Shh … relax. You’re safe here.”

Alex took a deep breath, forcing herself to power down. “Sorry … sorry.” She babbled. “Phil was teaching me how to get in control of that.” Mentioning Phil’s name felt like poking at an open wound.

“He was a good man. The world is worse for him not being in it.” Steve said.

“I could have saved him if I was there. Why didn’t they let me come? I could have helped. My abilities …” She felt her powers prickle again, she stopped herself from talking and took several deep shuddering breaths. Steve stroked his hand up and down her forearm as she did.

“I can’t tell you why they didn’t bring you. I am not privy to that kind of information I’m afraid. I think finding out you even existed was a level of top secret I wasn’t supposed to know about. I also don’t know anything about your other friend, Andy did you say his name was? Natasha said he was hurt though. That’s all I can tell you.”

Alex put her fork down. “I think I need to sleep again.”

“Sure,” Steve said. “You can take my bed if you like.”

Alex shook her head. “It’s fine. The couch is fine. I – I’m smaller than you. You wouldn’t be comfortable.”

Natasha showed up the next morning with clothes. Alex was nervous around her, but she remained calm. Steve had explained it was Natasha’s idea to get her out of SHIELD so she allowed herself to at least be open to trusting her.

Over the next month or so Alex stayed with Steve. He would leave her alone, he wasn’t scared to do that. Alone was a slightly novel experience. She hadn’t been left alone since her abilities manifested. There was always someone watching her, even if they weren’t in the room. The slight independence felt liberating. Like maybe she was a person and not just a weapon or a threat. But she stayed in his apartment. She had no desire to go outside. Outside was threatening. Steve never suggested she should go out either. On occasion, she’d wonder what he’d do if she suggested it. Would he try and stop her or did he trust her? She was too afraid to find out.

The first time Alex crawled into bed with Steve he was startled. He’d never had a woman in his bed before. But when she curled up and fell asleep pressed into his back it felt good. Almost natural. It became a habit after no time. They’d just go to bed together. If you were to ask Steve about it, he would tell you that they were never intimate. But his definition was dated and generally poor. They were very intimate. She would always sleep in one of his t-shirts and nothing else and curl up in the crook of his arm and they’d talk in a way that was different than before climbing into bed. They talked about their fears and their hopes for the future. The things they felt like they had lost. In bed, Steve was able to be fragile, and Alex felt strong. Alex would trail her fingers along his jaw and down his neck, and he would run his through her hair. When they would finally drift off to sleep, Steve always held Alex to him, his large arms wrapped around her small frame. But they never kissed, and they certainly never had sex.

When Steve was away on a mission Alex couldn’t sleep. She just sat up and waited, afraid that this would be the day he didn’t return.

Steve returned home from one such mission, and as usual, Alex was waiting for him. She pounced on him as he stepped through the door wrapping her arms around his neck, and pushing her face into his chest.

“You came home.” She squealed, half excited, half relieved.

“I told you I would,” Steve said. He loved the fact she always greeted him so warmly. He had missed having people who really cared for him in his life.

Steve collapsed on the couch. He was exhausted, and Alex sat next to him, curling her legs up under her and studying him.

“You’re hurt.” She said and touched his cheek.

“It’s nothing, you don’t …” He started to say, taking her wrist. But it was too late her eyes had started to spark, the energy transfer was happening. And as she trailed her fingers over every cut and scrap, the flesh knitted together and he felt the pain ebb away. “Thank you.” He sighed as she powered down. Her eyes returning to normal.

“Steve?” Alex said, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Yes, Alex?”

“Do you ever wish you could go back. To before, where your friends and family were. To before they changed you?” She asked. “I think about it for me, and I would. If I could go back and run away from my step-father, I’d do it. I hate being this freak. Not just as in, that I have this ability that makes me a freak, but what they did to me. They … ” She trailed off.

Steve hugged her to him. The things they had done to her were unthinkable. The fact she was able to function at all was amazing to him. “I do think about it. I ended up giving up everything when I agreed to take that serum. It was for the best I guess. But I do wonder how my life would have turned out if I’d never taken it.”

They sat quietly for a while. It wasn’t uncomfortable, they just sat. Thinking about the paths their lives had taken.

“I could turn you back if you wanted,” Alex said.

Steve took her chin in his hand and tilted it up to look at him. “What do you mean?”

Alex took his face in her hands and climbed into his lap so she was straddling him. She did it without thinking, she needed to see him better. “I can see where they changed you, deep in your cells. Where your DNA was altered, and what it should be.” She said. It felt to Steve like she was staring into his eyes, and he was becoming lost in hers. But that isn’t what was happening. She was staring into his very being, the bits of him that made him, him. “I can turn it back. If you wanted.”

Steve licked his lips. “That’s not what I want.” He breathed.

“I don’t see you the way other people see you,” Alex said. She had begun to run her hands through his hair and was completely unaware of his cock stiffening against her.

“How do you see me, Alex?” Steve asked his hands running up her back.

Alex leaned in close to his face, her lips were almost touching his. “You’re like looking into the big bang. You’re the universe exploding, and spreading out, then collapsing in on itself. You’re a forest fire burning so hot that when it reaches moisture it causes explosions vapor billowing into the sky.”

Steve swallowed. “Alex …” He whispered.

Her focus shifted, away from his atoms and back to his whole being. She could see the blue of his eyes for the first time. He looked at her with desire but also fear. Fear of that what he was about to do would change everything. His hand went to her cheek and his lips closed the distance between hers. They kissed. His first since he plunged the Hydra plane into the ice in 1944. Her first ever. They were hesitant, nervous to begin with. Not sure what they were doing or what they needed to be doing. But the kiss deepened. Their lips caressed, their tongues began to explore each other mouths. Tasting each other. It changed again becoming desperate, and urgent. Their mouths clashing together. Their hands began to travel over each other's bodies. Steve was gentle, shy at first. Not wanting to overstep his bounds. Alex was aggressive, she pulled his hair, and tore the buttons from his shirt. Her aggressiveness woke something in him. He pulled her shirt off over her head, breaking their kiss for the first time. She unhooked her bra and slid it down from her arms, letting it fall between them. Steve stared at her semi-naked form, his tongue darted over his bottom lip and he plunged onto one breast, taking the nipple into his mouth. Alex leaned back instinctively, arching her back, opening herself up, so he had free access to her. A small moan escaped her lips. She laced her fingers together in his hair and started to rock her hips against his, his cock pressed into her.

Steve grabbed her legs and stood. Alex wrapped herself around him, holding tight to his upper body. He carried her to the bedroom and placed her carefully on his bed. She scooted backward staring up at him.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Steve asked. He wanted her to be sure. To consent to this. He needed it with every fiber in his being.

Alex began to unfasten her pants. “I have never been sure about anything, Steve.”

He frowned at her, unsure if he should stop and calm the situation down. If she wasn’t ready then this can’t continue.

“I’m sure about this though.” She breathed.

He climbed onto the bed, stalking towards her. He took the hem of her pants in his hands and yanked them down. She squealed as she is unintentionally dragged towards him. They kissed again, him pressed on top of her, his bulge pressed into her naked mound through the rough fabric of his pants.

Steve was hesitant with every move he made. Overthinking every touch. He paused with his hand over her mound. She shifted her hips toward him, longing for his touch.

“Why are you scared?” She asked, her hands moving to his belt, beginning to unfasten it.

Steve shook his head. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t want to hurt you.”

She smiled and kissed his neck. The heat from his skin warmed her lips. His heartbeat had picked up and she could see the blood cells coursing through his body. “It’s new for me too, but I think it’s unlikely that you’ll hurt me.”

The confirmation that she was also a virgin gave him confidence. He doesn’t need for her to be one. Yes, he grew up in a world where that kind of thing was considered important, but he knows it doesn’t change anything. Knowing they are sharing this first time together though, that his mistakes are less likely to be judged, it’s comforting. It spurred him on.

He slid a finger between her folds and she hummed. He took her nipple into his mouth again, sucking on the hard point, and as he does he ran his finger up and down her slit, slowly pressing into her flesh. When his fingertip hits the small nub of her clitoris, she groaned and bucked her hips into his hand. He focused his fingers on the nub.

A tingle was building in Alex. It was a feeling she didn’t recognize, but it was pleasant. It started in her cunt and spread through her, pooling in the pit of her stomach, and prickling the skin on her head. Every time his teeth scraped her nipple or his finger pushed or pinched her clit it intensified. She was torn between closing her eyes and giving into it and watching him. She wrestled his pants down. He was so caught up in what he’s doing, he seemed unwilling to help, and all she managed to do was pull them down to his knees. She took his cock in her hand with no hesitation and began to pump her fist up and down his shaft. It felt wrong, and without knowing exactly why she spat into her palm and tried again. This time with the added lubrication her hand moves easily along his length. His reaction was immediate and intense. He thrust forward with his hips and groaned. Alex squirmed. The fact her touch did that to him made her feel giddy. She pushed against him. It was like pushing against a brick wall initially. But he got the message and rolled onto his back for her.

Steve wanted to keep touching her, getting her to make those sounds for him. But she had other ideas and he gave into her. She crawled between his legs, pulling his trousers free and throwing them across the room. She may have no experience but she knew what she wanted, that much is clear. She took his cock in her hand again and began to work her hand up and down the shaft. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her hands on him. Her mouth joined her hands, taking the head between her lips and swirling her tongue around. His eyes snapped open. She’s looking up at him, his dick in her mouth. The sensation is almost unbearable. He groaned and thrust against her. She never broke eye contact with him as her tongue worked up and down his shaft. He wondered what she is seeing. Could she see him as others would? His body tensed. The lust in his eyes. Or was she seeing this happen on a cellular level, the blood rushing to his cock, making it hard, making it twitch against every touch she gave it, bringing him to the point of orgasm. His synapses flaring in the pleasure center of his brain. Adrenalin being released into his bloodstream and flowing through his body.

Alex released his cock from her mouth and climbed on top of him, his hands strayed up her body, massaging her flesh. She took his length in her hand and guided it towards her cunt. There was an uncomfortable pinch as she pushed the tip against her opening.

Steve watched her face as she tried to push him inside her. Her eyes flare, sparks jumping from the corners. She isn’t ready yet, and this is hurting her. Her defenses have kicked in. He sits up and rolls her over. It’s a risky move. Any perceived threat could mean a subconscious reaction by her body to protect itself. He could be seriously hurt.

“Shhh …” He soothed. Kissing her lips, and trailing his fingers down her side. “You’re safe. We can take our time.”

He trailed his kisses down her body. Exploring her, drinking her in. She designed this body for herself, and it has an odd perfection like she’s been airbrushed. It’s actually slightly disconcerting, and he wonders what she would look like if she had no powers at all. Does she even know? He glanced up at her face as he moves down her body. Her eyes had returned to normal and he lets out a sigh of relief. Moving to her cunt he breathed her in. She smelled like the ocean, with a trace of a unique musk. It’s a heady scent, but pleasant. He dips his tongue between her folds to taste her.

Alex squirmed against Steve’s mouth as it explores her most intimate areas. She willed herself to relax and give herself to him. Normally so fearful of being physically hurt by people that her body is just always on high alert to danger and pain. Her need to let that go for him overwhelms her. Steve inserts a finger into her cunt as he nibbles on her clitoris. She moans in response to his touches.

Steve is amazed by how responsive she is to him. She squirms and moans and ground her hips with every touch. He lapped up her juices, drinking them in, greedy for them. Taking note of what her body responded to best, he increased the pressure and speed of his movements. He wanted to make her come before he moved on to intercourse. He gently inserted a second finger into her opening.

Alex whimpered as his second finger entered her. There was a stinging sensation, and it stretched her out. But it didn’t feel bad. Combined with the attention her clit was being given by his mouth, it actually felt amazing. He was slowly thrusting her fingers in and out of her wet cunt and she writhed against him.

“Curl your fingers, Steve.” She moaned.

Steve raised his head and looks at her confused by her request.

“Your fingers. Curl them upwards, like this.” She panted and raised her hand, her index and middle finger are held out and she hooks them.

He followed her instruction, and his fingers pressed against her internal walls, and he dragged them against her. Her response was immediate and intense. She bucked against him, her toes curl.

“Fuck! Fuck … yes … Steve.” She cursed as she came.

Her words shocked him, but they excited him too. She'd never cursed in front of him before. He did that to her.

He crawled up her body, positioning himself between her legs. He wiped his mouth and kissed her as he pushes his cock against her opening. She hummed into his mouth and ground against him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, running his thumb along her jaw.

“Yes …” She breathed. “I want this.” She nipped at his thumb, and he smiled at her.

“You ready?”

“Please, Steve. I want you inside of me.” She begged him, and he pushed against her, entering her.

She gasps at the intrusion her eyes flare, sparks flying, but it isn’t painful. There was a pinching sensation but she was ready for him, and his cock stretched her making her feel pleasantly full.

Steve groaned as he entered her, his eyes closed involuntarily. Her body welcomes him into her warm, moist cunt. Her walls clenched tight on his cock. She felt incredible. Better than he could have imagined, better than any time he had taken care of his own needs. Alex snaked her hand down between them rubbing her clit in time with Steve’s thrusting.

They are as one, each thrust, each caress, each clench of their bodies brought each other closer and closer to climax. They moaned and panted, kissed, groaned, clutching at each other. And when they came, it was together. Their bodies spasmed against each other. His seed spilling into her. They didn’t consider protection, there was no need. They are unable to get sick, and she controls cells. Nothing will happen between them that is not completely intentional.

Steve collapsed beside her, spent. They both are. She crawled into the crook of his arm. Neither have felt happier nor connected to another person in so long. Sleep found them quickly.

Steve woke first the following morning. He felt light and excited about the future. Something he hadn’t felt since plunging that plane into the ice. He slid his arm out from under Alex and went to take a shower. He wanted to see Peggy. To tell her about what happened and get her blessing for him to move on.

After his shower, he sat on the bed dressing. Alex stirred and looked up at him blearily.

“Steve?” She said rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” He tested out the pet name. He wanted to call her something special that’s just for the two of them. “You sleep. I’m just going to go see Peggy.”

He got up and kissed her on the temple and left. He passed Kate in the hall and they exchanged brief pleasantries before he left for the hospice.

Peggy was lucid and alert when he entered the room.

“Steve!” She greeted him, raising her arms for a hug that he willingly and gratefully gave.

“How’s my best girl?” He asked sitting in the chair beside her.

“Better for seeing you. And how are you, Steve? You look happy.” She said, taking his hand in hers.

“I am happy, Peggy. I’ve met someone. I think we might be able to make a life together.” He beamed. He thought he’d be nervous to tell Peggy. She was his first love. Well, her and Bucky, but those feelings had always confused him. His excitement is too much though, and he just wanted her to know, and to be happy for him too.

“I am so pleased to hear it, Steve.” She said squeezing his hand. “Nothing would make me happier than you getting the life that had been stolen from you. Tell me about her.”

After Steve left the apartment, Alex got out of bed. He left her to go see his ex. They had sex, and the first thing he does when he gets up the next day is go to see his ex-girlfriend. She wasn’t ever going to live up to her. It was time to leave.

She went into the bathroom, her eyes are sparking. Her form shifted, gaining height and muscle, her hair appeared to shrink. That wasn’t really what was happening, the cells from the unwanted hair are just separating and collapsing away, the energy that held them together returning into the universe to make something else. Her hair color changes too, becoming blond. When she was happy with what she saw she powers down. Her eyes are blue now.

She had styled herself after her first love. Tall, muscular, blue eyes, blond hair in a pixie cut. She was a female Steve. This would keep him with her always.

She packed her clothes into a duffle bag she found in Steve’s closet. She needed to leave, but the only way to do that is to steal from him. Staring at the bed she contemplates what to do. This is a bad idea, but what choice does she have? She lifted the mattress and took some of the money Steve has kept tucked under there. Not a lot of it. Just enough to get her out of town. She’d hitch hike if need be.

She stepped out into the hall and shut the door behind her. The nurse who lived across the hall stepped out into the hall and stared at her. Alex furrowed her brow and pushed past her. “Do I know you?” The nurse asked.

“I don’t think so,” Alex answered, pressing the elevator call button.

“Why were you in Captain Rogers’ apartment?” Her tone was accusatory and she was standing like she is ready to start a fight.

“I don’t see what business that is of yours.” Alex snapped. The elevator arrived and she stepped inside.

At the door of the building, she passed Steve. He was whistling and he held the door open for her as she stepped out, nodding to her. She stood in the street, watching him through the glass door, tears welling in her eyes. He turned and looks at her, and she wiped her face and strode away.

She would go and find AIM. And when she found them she would get them to tell her where her step-father is. She would then torture him the way he tortured her. But she wouldn't let him die until he told her where her mother was. When she found her mother she’d get her to tell her where her father was. Her real father. Then she might get closure. Then she could be good. As good as Steve was. Then she might be worthy. Then he might love her.

// NEXT

#steve rogers #steve rogers x ofc #captain america #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #angst #at a Cellular Level

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