#he's got some intense anxiety issues u know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rassvetsky · 1 year

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i was wondering if u can come up with ‘a trust issue who needs reassurance all the time’ reader and ‘i dont know how to communicate my feelings’ bucky. basically a miscommunication trope.

i will accept however storyline and ending you make because i love you and i love ur writing💕❤️❤️

hi babe!! i really really hope i did your wonderful request at least some justice because i got too carried away-- i hope you like it! thank you for existing ♡

Out Of Mind

bucky barnes x reader

"Falling in love with you terrified Bucky, enough to push you away. He was sure that it's better this way. But merely a week later, when you disappear without a trace, Bucky realized that he couldn't handle being without you."

[5.2k] | angst with a happy ending, miscommunication, arguing, bucky being an asshole at first but he has his reasons, natasha being protective, sassy tony, canon level violence, fighting, reader getting minor injuries, clint is the loml, bucky is an idiot in love my dudes, they're so cute god help me

reblog and/or like for a kiss, feedback much appreciated! not proofread.

Bucky used to be a simple man, Steve had told you long ago. After all those years of torture, he developed… Complexity.

And you couldn't agree more.

He was a tender lover to begin with, the one to always make sure that you were alright, the one to put your wellbeing above his. He wasn't good with words- wasn't the most expressive man out there, but you understood him. You understood why he never included cards in the flowers he sent to you, or sometimes didn't say anything back to your love declarations other than a bashful smile; you understood that for him, these things worked in different ways now.

And that's why he loved you so much. That's why he was terrified.

Because the deeper he fell for you, the more intense his feelings got. The harder his separation anxiety hit, the more mushed his brain became.

And in any other scenario, that would be lovely. Those butterflies that one would feel in their stomach, or the sweet little dumbification that came hand to hand with love. In another life, he'd bask in the feeling. He'd see the world around him under a different light, a light that you cast on his life.

But in this life? It was nothing but dangerous. Nothing but absolutely horrendous.

Because he was supposed to focus. He was supposed to be alert. His fight or flight response had to be on at all times and no matter what, he was supposed to prioritize his life to save the others.

He couldn't do that when you were involved, not anymore. The paranoia got too much- he was terrified of seeing you get hurt, of losing you in any way. That fear brought out the worst in him, causing fights to break out whenever you willingly got yourself in trouble, distracting him, making you drift apart further.

You didn't want that. He didn't want that. But life for you wasn't always just movie nights at the compound, breakfasts on bed, long nights of talking about the future.

He had to let the chips fall where they may.

You needed reassurance, he knew that. But suddenly, after the last mission you went on with the team including Bucky, he suddenly… Stopped doing that. That bashful grin was nowhere to be seen when you told him you loved him, when you held his hand it just didn't last as long as it usually did, he… He didn't even look at you properly. And that went on for days, each day worse than the one before, until he barely even talked to you.

And the dread you felt on your chest was unbearable.

The night-time fell quicker than any other day that one evening, as you prepared yourself a warm tea to accompany your book. Carrying the mug up to your shared room with Bucky, you slowly got under the sheets, holding the book open with one hand, mug with the other.

The plot was barely interesting to you with all the thoughts running through your mind, snatching your attention from the words, making you have to go back and reread the same paragraphs over and over. It wasn't anything new, this type of distraction, but more often than not, it was the aftermath of the latest mission plaguing your mind. Not your boyfriend being excessively restrained towards you, as if your sole existence was a problem for him.

Speaking of, maybe it was. Maybe you were too high-maintenance for him, maybe you weren't giving him enough space, maybe he was just going through something. Or maybe, he was done with you. He didn't need you anymore, now that he got rid of the vivid nightmares and dissociations-

How cruel of you to think that. How cruel of him to leave that open as a possibility.

With your tea half-drank, you set the mug back on the nightstand, pinning the bookmark between the pages before leaving it by the mug. You didn't feel like laying down- didn't think you could fall asleep with your mind on overdrive like this anyway. Getting up from where you were laid across, you slowly made your way over to the window, arms crossed on your chest as you heaved a sigh. The view was nice, moonlight illuminated enough of the surrounding trees, and if you were to squint, you could see the grass shine wetly, with a layer of dew upon them.

You couldn't help the way your shoulders tensed a bit when the door knob twisted open, hearing the heavy steps of your lover and a sigh leaving his lips. Your back was facing him still, and you didn't dare to look at him, figuring he was busy changing his clothes judging by the shuffling sound of fabric.

The slight squeak of the mattress brought a bitter grin to your lips as you spoke up. "Not even gonna talk to me?"

He was quiet for a full minute. "Sorry. I'm tired, sweetheart."

"Of me?"

"What?" he sounded surprised. "Wha- why would I be tired of you?"

"I don't know." you sighed. "You've been acting incredibly distant for the past week. Figured I was tiring you out."

Another squeak, he was on his feet now. Slowly walking towards you, he rested a hand on the small of your back, but you still didn't look at him. You wouldn't admit that to yourself but you really didn't want to know the truth.

"Don't be ridiculous," he spoke, tone quiet. "It's just that… The missions, you know how they-"

"We went through rougher missions back then," you chuckled. "On the verge of death, covered in blood. Missions that went on for months. You didn't treat me like this then."

"How am I treating you?"

"Like I'm a fucking nuisance!" you finally snapped, pushing his hand away from your body before turning towards him. Your eyes were wide with anger, chest heaving. "You're treating me like you don't even want to see me!"

"You're my girlfriend!" he was bewildered, albeit a bit guilty. "Of course I want to see you, what the fuck are you even talking about?!"

A scoff left your lips. "Fuck that! You used to treat me better when we were barely friends," you watched him look away, annoyed. "I've been trying to give you some space but you- you just won't tell me shit! You're barely talking to me, anyway! How the hell am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you won't even talk to me, Bucky?!"

Bucky felt his heart getting heavier. "Stop assuming that you did something wrong-"

"Then what else?! What else can I assume? For fuck's sake, am I supposed to assume that there's someone else, or you're just- you're just sick of me. That you don't need me anymore, is that what I'm supposed to think?" you could feel the tears building up by your waterline. "Fucking hell, it'd hurt way less if I was sure that it's all my fault! Or- even if you were- I just- just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, please?"

"Nothing!" he was loud, suddenly. The sudden outburst had you taking a step back in instinct, and he panicked so hard for a moment that he almost took a step towards you.

He knew he shouldn't.

"Nothing, okay? Just one of those weeks. Leave it alone."

"Fine." you sighed. "Fine, I'll leave it alone. I'll leave you alone, Bucky, to figure your shit out and- please, for the love of God, don't talk to me until you do. I'm done being treated like garbage." and with a final shove to his chest, you walked out of the door.

Bucky knew that he deserved that.

Hell, he deserved a solid punch for the way he was treating you but he didn't know how else to act. He didn't know what else to do. He was so sick of worrying, being in a constant state of paranoia because of you, so sick of his heart hurting like someone reached right into his chest and severed it off whenever you got hurt.

Was he protecting himself, or you?

"Hey," Sam swiftly sat by Bucky's side with a bowl of cereal on his palms, not giving the other a chance to walk away before speaking up again. "You good? You look like… Hell, I can't sugarcoat this. You look like absolute shit."

Bucky felt like absolute shit.

"I'm fine." he muttered, eyes trained on the big TV screen in front of them. The compound had been pretty quiet for the past few weeks, with the main troublemakers scattered around the globe for a mission.

Sam saw right through his bullshit, though. "Your girl ain't talking to you?"

"None of your business."

"She looks like absolute shit too."

Bucky took a moment to process that.

"Did you guys fight?"

"Again, none of your business, Sam." heaving a sigh, Bucky slowly pushed himself up to his feet, leaving Sam sitting on the couch all alone. Natasha, who was busy making herself something to eat to get through lunch, decided to chime in after Bucky managed to take a few steps away.

"You push her away the second things get hard and then wonder why she hates you."

If looks could kill, Bucky's would murder everyone in that room under three seconds. "She doesn't hate me."

"You want her to hate you."

"Bullshit."

"Because you hate yourself. Isn't that it?"

Sam's eyes were wide when he looked at Natasha. She was the one to deliver a hard kick on the shin when one needed it, tough-loving and relentless with her words- not to hurt the other, but to give them a chance to see things from a different perspective.

When Bucky didn't say anything, Natasha decided to continue. "I don't know how you're justifying this in that 'cyborg' brain but you don't have one single right to punish her. For absolutely no reason, too."

"Natasha-"

"Shut it, Sam." she shook her head. "We get it, you don't like fights. But I never took you for a coward, James, and you're not being anything else but that with the way you're refusing to fight for her."

Nobody said anything else for a solid minute, while Natasha kept glaring at Bucky. His eyes were on the ground now, the harsh nature of Natasha's words hitting him right across the chest- and it hurt. It hurt bad, because he knew that he was hurting you on purpose. "How do I make it right?"

"In my opinion? Leave her the fuck alone-"

"No, no. Natasha, calm your horses," Sam got up from where he was seated, approaching the two with a relaxed expression to calm them both down. "Just tell her how you feel, man. Be real with her. Be completely honest- if you don't love her anymore, just say so. If that's not the case, then-"

"I love her, Sam."

A soft sigh left Sam's lips. "I know. Just talk to her. She'll understand."

Bucky shook his head in a nod. The idea of talking to you was nerve-wracking, to say the least. You hadn't talked to him in a week, despite living in the same compound. Didn't even dare to step into your shared room when he was there, instead deciding to take on a vacant room for a while and get your work done in silence.

You were afraid of continuing that argument, honestly. Because you and Bucky- you two weren't the type to argue. Problems would be solved in peace at all times, with both parties admitting to their faults. So when that dynamic changed, it freaked you out. Just like how falling in love with you freaked out Bucky.

"FRIDAY," Bucky called out. "Where's Y/N?"

An automated voice answered immediately. "I'm afraid that information is classified." Bucky tensed up quicker than he'd like to admit.

"What?" Sam muttered under his breath, gaze finding Natasha's confused one. Natasha spoke up not too long afterwards. "What do you mean by classified?"

"Mr. Stark specifically requested that I keep Mrs. Y/L/N's current location confidential."

"Fucking hell," Bucky heaved a sigh. "Have any of you seen her today?"

"Nah," with a shrug, Sam walked towards the counter to set down his bowl of cereal, suddenly not interested in the food but rather, your whereabouts. "Last I saw her… Yesterday evening, yeah. She was leaving Tony's office, didn't say anything."

"Where did she go after that?"

"Man, how would I know? I'm not keepin' tabs on your girlfriend, that's your job."

"FRIDAY, where's Tony?" Natasha ignored the two, focusing on the matter at hand. For all she knew, you weren't the one to keep secrets from the team. Even on solo missions, you would always keep your tracker on just in case.

"In his office. Shall I inform Mr. Stark of your visit?"

"Nope." lips pressed into a thin line, and a not-so-apologetic shrug. Typical Tony Stark nature. "Just because you live here doesn't mean you have to know everything."

"But she's my girlfriend."

"Just because she made that mistake doesn't mean you have to know everything, Barnes." Tony quipped. "If anyone else in this room was on her position and I were to give away your location, which she specifically made sure that I wouldn't tell, I would be murdered horrendously."

"It's not like her to do that." Natasha's tone was way softer than Bucky's, understandably. She was mad at Bucky and worried about you at the same time but still, keeping her cool was an art form and she was doing it beautifully. "We're just worried, that's all."

"You don't seem like her parents to me."

"Would you tell us if we were her parents?"

"Wilson, use your head. Of course I wouldn't." plopping down on his seat with a huff, Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'd beg to differ but I'm a very virtuous and excruciatingly handsome man, and I made a promise, so… The door is right behind you. I got a lot of stuff to do."

The sound of Bucky's palm meeting the desk separating him from Tony caused everyone's eyes to find his, including Tony. "You have to give me something."

"I don't owe you anything." Tony's words were like venom as they dripped from his tongue, his challenging gaze on Bucky's rampageous one. "But if you really, really want her to hate all of you, fine. She's on a solo mission."

"A solo mission?! You sent her on a solo mission?!" Sam was quick to grab Bucky by the arm, pulling him back a little.

"Man, calm down-"

"Last time I checked, she was perfectly capable of handling a mission and taking care of herself." Tony spoke, calm despite the furious man standing in front of him. "She wanted to go. Why the hell would I say no?"

"Bucky, he's right." Natasha pushed herself up from the wall she was leaning on. Signaling for Sam to possibly take Bucky out of the office with her eyes, she approached the desk. "I'm sure she's fine and she only did that just so you wouldn't go after her."

"Yeah," Sam continued. "Let's just- let's get you out of here. She'll be back before you know it."

Tony didn't miss the glare Bucky sent his way when he left the office with Sam.

Feeling Natasha's judgmental eyes on him, he looked up at her, leaning back on his seat comfortably. "Do you need anything?"

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing, except for her location."

"No," Natasha shook her head. "It's obvious you didn't tell us everything. I'm not expecting you to, but I've known you for a long time, Tony. I can see it when you're leaving a crucial part out."

A sigh left Tony's lips.

"She's indeed on a solo mission. A mission that I know absolutely nothing about, and she disabled her own tracker."

"Are you sure nobody knows you're here?"

"God, Clint, what's with all the secrecy?" you weren't even sure your hushed whisper was heard by Clint, crowded streets of Hong Kong were noisy enough to usher a headache within you. You hadn't seen him in a while, with him retiring again, and God he retired a lot, but after receiving a message with 'emergency, don't tell anybody.' and coordinates, you rushed to his aid rather immediately.

You owed him a lot.

Following him to a small apartment building as he pushed the door open, you looked behind to see if anybody was following, before climbing up the stairs with him. "What's going on?"

"Extraction." he whispered. "Kind of a sensitive one. Tony didn't want anyone involved."

"I really think Laura should lock you up sometimes."

"So do I, kid."

Your time spent in his small hideout apartment was filled with intel and planning. It was supposed to be a very quiet mission, a sensitive one like he mentioned earlier- a swift infiltration to save a former SHIELD agent from where he was held prisoner, just so he could return to his research.

You didn't quite understand why Tony wouldn't want anyone to be involved and to save the agent, but you weren't going to ask. You trusted Clint, sometimes more than you did Tony, and if Clint told you that what he's doing was right, then you'd believe him.

The next day, with both of you suited up, his arrows ready and your secret knives hidden beneath layers of fabric all around your body; the quiet approach to the building went pretty smoothly. He kept telling you to keep your cool and to keep it quiet. This was a stealth op, and made sure to assure you that you were excellent at those.

Except, for all the stealth operations, your partner was Bucky. He was the one who knew exactly what you were going to do without needing you to tell him, he was the one who fought by your side, in so much sync with you that it felt like you two were one mind split to two bodies. You felt safer when he was by your side, calm enough to perform better.

You didn't tell Clint that. You didn't tell him that you felt way too insecure without Bucky by your side to perform well.

He was expecting your help, and you were going to deliver.

Except, things took a turn for the worse far too quickly. You got into the room in which the agent was kept, with Clint following from far behind to keep you safe; and saved the agent from his restraints. Before you could lead him out, though, you heard Clint telling you to stop taking your time because apparently, a swarm of people were coming your way, and he had to hide.

You helped the agent all the way down to the ground from the first floor, through the piping by the outer side of the wall and informed Clint of your current location, before spotting a few men running your way.

Pushing the agent away towards the woods where he could hide and protect himself, you pulled your gun out and managed to down at least two of the five men. You noticed one of them following the agent as the two attacked you; landing a harsh kick by one's neck before sliding out your knife and swinging it at the other's direction, but the distraction that they needed came quickly when through your in-ear, you heard Clint's voice again.

"Shit, abort. Get the hell out of there, get away from the building."

And a loud explosion right to your left followed.

Natasha was torn.

Tony's words kept replaying themselves on her head as she paced around the room, unable to decide between telling Bucky and keeping it to herself. She didn't know what she would be risking if she told him, but at the same time, you could get yourself in a much bigger situation and a supporting pair of eyes at solo missions were always required.

She couldn't bear the worry and uncertainty anymore.

Pushing the back door that led to the living room open with a loud thud, she found Bucky by the kitchen area, and Sam by the couch, watching the afternoon news. "I need to tell you guys something."

Bucky perked up at that, pulling himself away from his moping state to get back up on his feet, and walk towards the couch where Natasha approached. "She disabled her own tracker. Tony has no idea where she is, or what she's doing."

"Shit, how are we supposed to find her, then?" Sam slowly got up from where he was seated in worry. But before any of them could say anything else, a loud explosion sound snatched their attention and brought it to the screen.

"Earlier this morning, a lab explosion took place in a Hong Kong biochemistry lab, for reasons unknown. Public CCTV footage shows two unidentified individuals breaking into the building only ten minutes before the blast."

"Isn't that-"

"Damn it," Natasha whispered. "God fucking damn it, Barton."

No matter how fast the Quinjet was, Bucky felt like they couldn't get there quick enough. His heart was basically beating through his ribs, brain pumping adrenaline into every single bit of his veins as he watched the jet decrease altitude. The news didn't even provide the number of casualties, and the fact that he wasn't sure if you made it out of there alive or not was eating him alive.

The fact that he didn't get to make things right with you beforehand was outright torture.

The jet landed on a clearing by the woods, pretty close to the remote building in which the explosion took place. Bucky's strut seemed like it was made out of steel, as if nothing in this world could even attempt to stop him as he walked in front, Natasha and Sam following close behind. It had been at least twenty hours since the blast, and if you were dead, you'd be identified, right?

The news of your passing would be all over the world by now, right?

"I know where they might be hiding," Natasha spoke up, a bit breathless from having to catch up with Bucky's fast steps. "Clint has a hideout apartment, not too far from here."

"Fuck!" your loud cry was enough to land a grimace on Clint's face, as he let out soft shushes, trying his best to wrap your injuries up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he mumbled, taping down the bandage wrapped around your thigh before giving it a slight pat. "Just a contusion. I know it hurts but you could have it much worse."

"I know, but it still hurts, you idiot!"

"And whose fault is that? Not mine!"

Letting your head fall back on the cushion with a thud, you let out a slight groan. "How's the agent?"

"Called somebody to pick him up," he sighed, pulling himself up from the floor to sit next to your laid out figure. "I genuinely didn't know that they had explosives laid out through the building. Some sort of eradication. Must've been big, whatever they were hiding."

"Couldn't really keep it quiet, huh?"

"Unfortunately," he chuckled. "But we saved him, at least. Probably going to get an earful from Tony when he finds out… But you did a good job. Thanks for coming."

"Didn't have anything better to do," a grin made its way to your lips. "Don't even wanna go back, if I'm being honest."

A frown took over his features. "Did something happen?" and he continued, when your only response was a slight nod. "Bucky?"

"That easy to guess, huh?"

"Nothing else has an impact on you," a soft chuckle followed. "It'll be fine. You two- you shouldn't lose each other. Not over anything."

"I don't know if I can make sure of that anymore, Clint."

"Look, I'm saying this from a man's point of view," he repositioned himself on where he was seated, now completely facing you. "And I don't ever want you to think that I'm sexist or something, but, um… We're different. In a bad way- we're not… Complicated like your kind."

"My kind? Okay, now that's-"

"No, shut up, you know what I mean," he laughed. "Every single woman that I had the pleasure of meeting knew what they wanted. Maybe it was a bit rough around the edges, maybe it was just a scaffolding but there was a plan. There was an… expectation of how things are supposed to go, you know?"

A short silence followed. "And because of that scaffolding, you folks don't freak out as much as we do. And when you do, you still make sense. We don't. We freak out over the smallest inconvenience and everything goes shit because we don't know how to restructure our own plans that quickly. We take longer to adapt. Because we're a bit more primitive, does that make sense?"

You smiled at him, earnestly. "That's… vague, but it makes perfect sense. Thanks."

His hand found yours then, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about it."

That night, Clint woke up to footsteps across the apartment. He was sleeping on the armchair by the side of the bedroom, making sure that you were safe on his bed since you had to take a pill or two to manage the pain and fall asleep quicker.

Quickly getting up to his feet, he grabbed the pistol he placed on your nightstand earlier, slowly pulling the door open- only to find Natasha, with a gun in her hand, seemingly relieved to see Clint.

Clint brought his finger up to his lips, signaling the room as to let her know that you were asleep. "What are you doing here?" he whispered.

"That was a sloppy op, don't you think?" Natasha whispered back, teasing. "Gotta warn you, Barnes will be here in a couple of minutes and he's going to be mad, Clint."

"Let him be," he sighed. "She's-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the front door got pushed open, revealing a worried and seething Bucky and an apologetic Sam following suit, shutting the door slowly after the other. "Where is she?"

"She's in the bedroom-" Clint stepped in front of the door, shutting and guarding it. "She's exhausted. Be quiet."

"Why the fuck is she with you?"

"Hey, not like I kidnapped her, alright?" Clint rolled his eyes, still speaking as quietly as he could. "I needed her help and I couldn't call anybody else. I'm sorry I kept your girlfriend away from you for literally two days, Barnes."

Bucky took a step back, heaving a deep sigh. He was angry, angry at you, angry at Clint, angry at himself… Yet he didn't know where to direct that anger. He didn't know how to calm this feeling down. "Why didn't she tell anybody? Not even Tony- what the hell did you make her do that she felt like she needed to hide from everyone?"

A scoff left Natasha. "Bucky, stop making assumptions."

"No- you know what?" Bucky was getting louder by the second, and nobody in the room had the guts to shush him down. "My girl doesn't hide anything from me, ever. I need to know what was so important that she had to turn her tracker off and you had to lead her into a building full of explosives."

"How the hell was I supposed to know that the lab would explode?!"

"You were supposed to make sure that it's-"

"Bucky?" your frowning, sleepy figure appeared by the door that everyone was too busy watching the argument to notice opening. Bucky's gaze visibly softened when he saw you, tense shoulders relaxing before Clint stepped out of the way and with a few steps, he approached you to pull you into his embrace.

You didn't hug him back at first- instead sending a confused look to the rest, to which Sam shrugged as a response. "Are you okay?"

"No, are you okay?" he asked, pulling away to get a good look at your figure. A few cuts and the bandage by your thigh was visible as you were just wearing one of Clint's old shirts and underwear. "Are you okay?" he asked again, tone more stern this time.

"I'm fine," you pushed his hands off of you. "Why the fuck were you yelling at Clint?"

"Yeah, alright, have that conversation without us," Clint sighed, pushing the two of you into the bedroom gently before offering you a small wave and shutting the door, to give you some privacy.

Bucky sighed before looking at you again, wanting so bad to just cup your cheeks and leave kisses all over your face- but he knew he fucked up, and you were mad. "I was worried about you. You left without a word, and when I heard that your tracker was off-"

"I don't owe anyone any explanation." your tone was harsh. "And I'm sorry if I thought that you wouldn't give a shit, Bucky. You made it pretty obvious that you wanted me to leave you alone."

"I never said that," he ran his fingers through his hair, trying his best to stay calm and work this out- but you were almost as stubborn as him, if not more. "I never- I care about you, alright? You're my girlfriend, and you should've told me where you were going."

You shook your head to both sides in disbelief. "You're not entitled to that."

"Y/N-"

"No, you're seriously not entitled to knowing anything about me. Not when you have the audacity to treat me like I'm nothing more than an absolute stranger, and then to not even make an effort to talk to me for a whole week."

"I freaked out, alright?!" he sighed. "I was fucking terrified because- because of you!"

"How the hell is that my fault?!"

"It's your fault! You're the one who made me fall in love with you!" he was loud, and you got cryptically quiet.

He never dropped the L-word before.

"It's your fucking fault because I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop worrying about you, I can't stop making everything about you and it's putting everyone in danger!" you were biting back a smile now, as he kept ranting. "Including you! I can't- do you have any idea how hard it is to look at you and not just burst into tears because oh my fucking God, you're the love of my life and-"

You cut him off with a kiss to his lips, your hands cupping his face. He was shocked at first, unable to comprehend the sudden switch from arguing to kissing, but he wasn't going to complain. Wrapping his arms around your body delicately, he deepened the kiss, exhaling softly against your mouth when your fingers massaged the nape of his neck.

"You're such a fucking idiot," you whispered against his lips. "You're like, the dumbest person I've ever met. Your IQ is so low that-"

"Okay, okay. I get it." he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry. I genuinely am. I'm sorry for making you feel like I don't love you- because I do, I love you so much that it's physically painful."

"I thought you were tougher than that, Bucky."

"I'm just a coward, honey." with a shrug, he pulled you closer to his embrace. "I'm just a fucking coward, nothing more. But you know what? Seeing you so angry at me, telling me that I don't deserve to know anything about you- that hurt more. I guess I- I really can't be without you."

"I can't be without you either," you sighed. "I've been so cranky, just ask Clint."

"Oh, I'm still kicking his ass."

"No, Buck," a soft giggle left your lips. "He actually plays a grand part in me forgiving you. And he's one of my favorite people in this whole world, so, I won't hesitate to punch you if you ever yell at him again."

"In that case, I'm thanking him. And kicking his ass in my head."

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faatosinaswriting · 9 months

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Could u write some fluff with Simon and reader who has similar issues like him? I mean anxiety and depression, it could be headcanons or a short story, that’s up to ya! :)

Thx in advance, even if it might get denied

Oh my GOSSSHHH, anon! I've been thinking of this! Its like us Simon enjoyers can read each other's minds!! Spppooookkyyyy!~ 👻 I would like to remind you, as always, whatever you are going through that you will be alright, and you WILL succeed.

SIMON HENRIKKSON X GN!READER.

Genre: Fluff! ...Slight angst...

Summary: While you're working on school work, you're incredibly stressed out and end up having an anxiety attack from over thinking. But, no worries! Simon is right here to help you! 🖤.

TRIGGER WARNING: In depth description of a panic/anxiety attack.

18 y/r old reader btw!

You aggressively typed as your eyes skimmed through your text book, finals are coming up and you're scared of the possibility you won't graduate. Your bedroom was so quiet, the black background of your computer reflecting onto yourself. You glanced up at your reflection for a second, then stopped typing. Your heart started skipping beats, your chest slowly starting to heave faster. Something snapped inside of you, every emotion you could pester up came flooding out. Your eyes filled to the brim with tears, gripping onto your shirt, crinkling it as you started feeling your heart speeding up as if it was a motorcycle engine. Your face began to get red, your cheeks a rosy color as you started staring intensely at yourself in the black screen.

Your computer had shut off.

You could see yourself, now.

You were there.

YOU.

WHAT IF YOU FAIL?

you asked yourself, gripping onto the sides of your hair as you rocked back and fourth.

ANSWER, WHAT IF YOU FAIL?

"I'm okay, it's okay, I'm okay, this is temporary."

you slowly nodded through struggled breaths, except, you only sobbed harder. Your tears dripped onto Simon's hoodie that he had left for you, the slightly darker shade of grey being imprinted onto the soft fabric.

"Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up.. Please." you begged yourself to just, keep quiet.

"Y/N/N?"

the usually comforting voice came off irritating to you at this very moment, your eyes switching over to the concerned boy next to you.

"Nooo, no...No..." you desperately attempted to convince yourself it would be okay, when, you felt a strong arm grasp your lower torso wrapping you up into his chest.

You screamed, tucking your head into your arms.

"Pleeeaaasee, make this fucking voice go away... I hate it, I hate it!" you hollered, Simon wiped the hair from your eyes as your puffy eyes began getting redder.

He can't save you.

"You're okay, I got you, I got you." he placed his warm hands to your cheeks, slowly careessing them.

"Simon, Simon, Simon." you repeated, trying to tell yourself he was there for you, he was there. He would be sure you're okay.

"You're going to pass, I know you will, you're brilliant. So, so smart." he said with a meaningful, loving tone.

You slowly started calming as he said those words, though you still had that surge of anxiety, that dumbell of pressure weighing in your stomach, you had him. You had him in your heart, and in your brain to push away the negative feelings. He had you. He had you to help him through the rough times, the episodes.

"You're okay." he placed a soft kiss to your lips.

"YOU'RE OKAY."

______________________________________

#cry of fear #simon henriksson x reader #fluff #angst with a happy ending #angst #light angst #romance #kisses #love #lovers #cute aesthetic #cutecore #horror games #horror

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whataperfectwasteoftime · 10 months

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Okay omg hi. So like i recently ish followed u. And I've seen u have a recent book out but i wanna know the story behind it bc idk :( i came by late idk what the story is about for who's character etc etc. Pls tell me I'm intrigued!!!! Especially bc I've read some of your stories and they're 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 perf.

AHHH HI!!!!

Yes, I'm now officially a published author of one (1) week!! :)

So here's the official story of how Control came to be. I was scrolling through tumblr and came across a gifset of THIS MAN:

THIS is Juan Badillo from Graceland, but the only thing I could think of as I STARED at these gifs is "Brat Tamer Marcus Pike." I wrote a 3k oneshot based on this idea, the beginning of which is still the prologue of the book. It was supposed to be a one-off. A little horny nonsense based on a gifset of a completely different character.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't stop thinking about a Marcus Pike who learned nothing from Teresa and doubled down on some of his obsessive behavior. A Marcus whose biggest character traits (possessiveness, intensity, affection) were all dialed up to 11. A Marcus who is so tightly wound, he has to be completely in control at all times. A Marcus who, underneath that calm exterior, is just a tad fucking unhinged.

I couldn't stop writing about it, dear reader. In the end, I wrote 13 "oneshots," some of which contributed to a larger plot, and some of which... were an excuse to see how disgusting and depraved my filth could get. I utterly fell in love with these two, their story, their relationship, and the way they ended up growing together. It was supposed to be a "darker" Marcus Pike, but the characters got away from me and I ended up writing an incredibly loving story about two people with different issues in their lives navigating a BDSM relationship, taking on the world together, and growing as people.

And then someone I admire told me to turn it into a book and I thought, "Hey, I could maybe do that! How hard could it be, I've already got 70k words written!" Marcus Pike became Noah Keane, and my reader character became Grace Bennett, a fellow FBI Agent who struggles with anxiety and just accepted a job in the same office...

This book grew into something I never thought possible. I took 13 barely-connected oneshot chapters and built an entire story around them. They meet, they fall in love, and then they stand together and tackle some very real problems together.

If you like my fics (thank you btw omg!!!) I can tell you that you'll like this book. It's something I spent a ton of time on--improving it, changing it, perfecting it, and cutting the rest. I'm very proud of the result and I hope you check it out! :) <3

#long post #this is more than you ever asked for!#I got introspective this morning

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jakeperalta · 11 months

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Hello Ella, first of all, I love your blog! I wanted to give you my impressions of You're losing me and ask you what you think of them (if you want to chat about it, ofc!). The production seems to be Jack's to me, it reminded me a bit of other songs from the album he produced. The lyrics were very vague I think (I know some people were waiting for The Tea to spill), but I thought they were heartbreaking :(

On another note, I do think she tried to hint on some behaviour, but didn't really got specific (the final blow, or even the need to rise from the ashes which got me thinking of hoax (i am ash from your fire)). Idk, I'm not very sympathetic towards Joe (as in the guy from all the love songs we know) and never been. The Lover's love songs are very anxiety-ridden to me and the themes of infidelity and fear of losing were so intense, that it didn't come off to me as a stable healthy rs. With that I want to say I don't really send any sort of hate nor attack any of her exs. My comments are more as if they are all these characters from these songs and my opinions are abt these sort of personas specifically from the songs. Idk, i used to be very insecure and would relate to her songs in Lover bcs it sucks to love intensely and not to know if it will last. Now, being at a long term stable loving relationship, my fears of losing (ofc the exist along w insecurities) are no longer so intense. It's more peaceful. Idk, I have the feeling the rs of these songs was always portrayed as an on and off rs, u know? Have a lovely Sunday, Ella ❤️

hi, thank you so much! I agree it sounds like jack's production from midnights, and the lyrics are definitely more of a (really sad) feeling than any specific big events she's calling out (with the exception of the marriage line). I suppose more songs about specifics will inevitably come down the line.

I feel the same about how the songs build a sort of story and characters in my mind which is what my perspective is based on. I do see what you mean about the anxiety in a lot of her love songs and I think one thing I love about the lover album is that it's her most definitive love album but doesn't shy away from the difficult or complicated sides (and across the albums it clearly had some fairly big obstacles/off moments, like with the great war and hits different) although personally I've always taken a lot of the anxiety to stem from taylor's perspective of herself (afterglow, the archer, the "highly suspicious" line in lover, plus other songs like peace and anti-hero) as opposed to being a red flag of his behaviour. and whilst there clearly are some fairly big obstacles or off moments (like the great war and hits different) i do definitely get the sense of a solid relationship, particularly with the progression from falling in love in rep, moving in together/beginning to navigate issues in lover and then the more settled/reflective sense of folklore, and the overall message even in the songs about the bad times was like "we love each other enough we will always make it work". which of course just makes you're losing me even sadder :(

#answered #Anonymous #taylor swift

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boinurmom13 · 1 year

Text

someone tell me something thats slander to isaacs name so i can hate his guts again

twll me he hate crimed 3 trans ppl or smth man Zpls PLS PSL PSL

anyways more isaac and ophelia

theyre so CUTE!!

i forgor captions

—

“Pissed he has to be here,” “Trying to show him around”

—

“Never been to the restaurant, too scared to correct,” “A regular, nervous”

Ophelia: U-uhm, he uh asked for no pickles

—

“Too nervous to talk”

—

guys say ohpelia is pretty rn or she’ll cry. she spends sm time on makeup so tell her shes pretty RIGHT NOW!! (someone’s gotta step up, cuz it sure as hell aint isaac)

anyone else think isaac is like super uncomfortable in unfamiliar places. like. genuinely. me personally, i think he shares the same nervous feeling lance gets when he goes into towns and stuff.

like.

if u told me isaac could order a bigmac without feeling like an idiot id laugh in ur face tbh

i might also be projecting so i like him more

anyways heres someone with crippling social anxiety and someone with the fear of unknown places (they kiss but u dont see that)

their love story could start one of two ways and i think ones cooler thsn the other

1. Ophelia stays some time at bo’s house due to either financial issues/issues with the guild she works for. they meet then, and it kinda goes from there.

read on cuz the second one’s long as hell!!

isaac has to stay for a long, LONG while in roder to figure this out, because got DAYMN they’re good at hiding. unbeknownst to ophelia’s guild, he is looking for the anamoly. so what do they do? assign the anamoly to be his guild “partner” for his stay (essentially, when alone in an unknown guild to help out, i’d image the bigger ones will assign an adventurer to the helping hand in order to help them learn the ropes and wtv. that’s ofc, prolly not true, but it works so stfu.) ophelia doesn’t know isaac’s purpose, isaac doesn’t know ophelia’s secret.

eventually, he does find out, because she’s a nervous wreck and crumbles when under any intense interrogation. their bond’s already strengthened, and he doesn’t really tell camilla (out of fear that maybe they’ll take ophelia away never to be seen again. ofc, if that happened, bo would go batshit crazy. one close cousin after the next? tf’s wrong with these ppl, yk? so either way, telling camilla would not be the best idea if he wants to keep ophelia alive and well.)

isaac returns to castle village, still keeping in touch with ophelia through the bi-weekly letters (basically updates on anything interesting, or just sometimes to have a quick conersation back and forth. i could go on and on abt the lettering systme, but like, instant cuz magic and woo magic!!). he doesn’t tell camilla that ophelia’s the anamoly, and instead rants abt how rumors aren’t always believable and how half of the gossip amongst guilds is the dumbest shit ever (typical behavior for him)

they’re so cute guys say they’re cute rn or ill cry

when sve 2.0 comes out im making a new farm save for the sole purpse of marrying isaac as ophelia

i hope he ends up being an awkward mess. not like standard stereotypical awkward, but like. genuinely doesn’t know how to show affection awkward. prolly says “i think ur alright, i guess” as a compliment. tf do you mean “alright”? tell me im the hottest chick in this valley

idc if im a man

tell me im the hottest chick in this valley RIGHT NOW!!!

yah anyways i think i might be getting attached to him so someone stop that rn please pLEASE PLWEASE PLEASE PLEASE

live laugh love lance (IM FORCING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I STILL LOVE LANCE I PROMISE)

(PLEASE LET ME KEEP LOVING LANCE I CANNOT HAVE AN HONEST TO GOD HATE TO LOVE SITUATION HERE WITH A FICTIONAL CHARACTER)

(PLEASE PLEASPEL PELAPSLEP LAPLSSPLEAPL EPALSPELAP LEPALSE)

isaac is a lil goofy tho. like maybe if he stopped talking in weird omninous messages every time i look thru his diagloue file. like ok idc abt an adventure’s resolve or how ur gonan deicde ur own death or wtv. tell me how many inches it is jesus. idc care abt ur philosophy i just want ur body

(i prommise this is a joke i do respoect men pls i rppmise)

#stardew valley #stardew valley expanded #sdv oc #sdv #sve #sve isaac #sdv farmer #isaac sve #ophelia canonically makes dolls at cheap prices for funeral services and single parents #she says its comforting for the family of the deceased to have a doll of them #anyways she totally takes personal commissions #isaac jokes abt her making one of him once and she like #actually took it seriously #she made a doll of him #and after about two weeks after isaac left back to castel village #he was mailed it in a pretty and neat box #it sits on his untility belt but u didnt hear that from me

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pxppet · 2 years

Text

Begin Teeth. Chp. 2

Prodrome. (Part 1)

Prodrome: a medical term for early signs or symptoms of an illness or health problem that appear before the major signs or symptoms start

CW: accidental homophobia, major distress, brief ableism, grief, major character death, anger/argument, flashback & panic, nightmares, sudden intensity & a lot of angst

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

Jackie is distressed. All of them can tell.

His hood is up, headphones on, and his skin is covered from skin-on-skin touch with light runner's gloves and some black socks. Everything about him closed off. Jackie is good with his sensory issues usually, and for Jameson it's something he's never seen outside of criminal-intended magicians. Propped up on the kitchen counter, Jameson observes, paranoid.

"Do you think it's the nightmares?"

Jameson startles and looks beside him, finding Chase, in what he thinks is a baseball cap. He points at himself in confusion. Chase laughs quietly.

"Yes you, dork."

"I don't know." Jameson feels tense. "Why is J-B having nightmares?"

"U-uh." Chase straightens his chest. "I-I don't- know, Jamie."

Jameson can hear his anxiety pick up very obviously. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing man, but a-als- also I need to go to work. M-maybe…" Chase's heart drums, he doesn't know what's okay to say. "May… be. Ask him, you should ask him." Not the right thing, shit! "I need to h-head out, but u-um. Just. Take care Jameson. Bye!"

Chase hurries away on guilty feet, and tries to not break down outside before work.

Jameson walks over to Jackie, curled on the sofa. Jackie looks at him, looking thoroughly miserable. "What's up J-B? What happened?"

-- It's the night before.

Jackie wakes from that same dream, but cut off just as Jack becomes Anti- He shoots up, panting and sweating. His phone is going off. At first he's annoyed, but then his chest twists as he realises it's the Nyan Cat tune- Marvin's ringtone.

"Marvin wh-!"

"Jackie, stop, stop."

Jackie does stop, because Marvin sounds like they're crying.

"Jackie, I can't come home. I can't look at that boy. I can't he's too miserable, it took me so, so long to get over Anti- Anti leaving us like that! Only-! Only to find out Jack fucking made someone in a coma and- and Anti just- took him and tortured him. For three years! Jackie I can't look at him I-… I'm not coming home. I'm staying with either Jace, or Marla from Ulula."

"Marv… what? I can't… I need… I need you to be with me. I can't do it alone, I'm-"

"Jackie, grow up!" Marvin suddenly snarls, sobs, voice popping in the microphone. "We're not newborn and I'm not your baby in a cat mask! I'm not a fucking sidekick and I don't owe you being beside you 24-fucking-7!"

"Don't be a dick to me just because you miss Jack! Stop it! Marvin please. I need y-!"

The phone disconnects. Jackie lets it drop to the floor. Slowly curls his legs to his chest and hides his face.

"No one wants you." It lives in his head. "Grow up," it now addendums. Jackie does not sleep the rest of the night.

"I'm okay Jamie," Jackie lies. "Just got in a small fight with Marvin."

"Who?"

Jackie balks. "Holy shit. We forgot to tell you about Marvin?!"

"Who?!" Jameson questions again.

"Um. My- Er. Jack's second born. They haven't been around. At they're boyfriends for- for probably a while."

"Jack can make girls?"

Jackie blinks and does a double take. "Um, no. Marvin isn't a girl."

"But M has a boyfriend."

"Yeah..? Jameson they're gay and nonbinary."

Jameson just stares across to him, lips parted and eyebrows drawn in confusion. But, after a moment, something changes in his eyes.

Back in town, a nurse startles at Jack's arm twitching.

"O-K," Jameson spells. "O-K." Something in his head is placing itself, becoming true, but he doesn't know the words.

There's a pause, silence, Jackie chewing the edge of his hood.

He stands suddenly, gloved hands grasping themselves. "Jameson. I need you to… see something. Can you handle a walk?"

Jameson, it turns out, cannot. He trips to the ground after about 5 minutes walking. Jackie picks him up from the dirt of the deer-path below, leading into the forest. He gives him a silent look that Jameson has learned means "Are you okay?" Jameson gives him a nod and smile that means "I'm okay." He's been nonverbally communicating with Jackie a lot since he's been at their house.

Jackie lifts Jameson up bridal-style. "We're almost there, I'm sorry. I can take you the rest." Jameson nods and settles against Jackie's chest as he walks. Jackie is always warm. He feels safe.

Jameson notices a orange glow and signs "Cheat," with a smile. Jackie smiles back, but it's… twisted. Sad. Not like him. Jameson lets his own fall away as he registers something.

The static is coming closer, and it has been this whole time.

Blood cools. No, not Jackie first. Anti can't take Jackie first.

"Jackie, put down. I can walk now."

"Oh, y'sure? Okay." Jackie sets him down.

Jameson sprints full force.

Jackie shouts after him, but Jameson doesn't listen, he has to get to master first so he can go home - so Anti won't take any of those bright and gentle souls to the dirt. He's lost Jackie, following the direction it's loudest, sprinting faster than his recovering body should. Master. Brother. Coming home. Goodbye to his friends, Anti is all there is. He stumbles into a clearing covered in yellow flowers. Anti is here, hidden. Jameson puts two fingers in his lips and whistles loudly, desperately, Anti needs to find him first so J-B can go be happy. Jameson rushes the edges, glances behind and up in trees for all he can see. Not the edge, fuck, fuck, did Anti learn invisibility spells just to get him? Anti? Master? Safe? He charges, literally blind, into the bedded flowers-

He trips over an upright stick, falling to his knees. His breaths heave so hard his chest aches. He can't see anything, the full wave of panic hitting him hard. The static has stopped, and he silently cries, on his knees in the fucking dirt.

Jackie shouts for him and, also panting, comes to stand beside him and freezes.

"I'm sorry, I-! Are you okay?!"

"The static!" Jameson sobs.

"Sta… static? Jamie what static?" Jackie squats beside him, gloved hand hovering above his back.

Jameson punches the dirt. "Anti's static is gone! I followed it but he left me!"

Jackie cringes. "Jameson… That's why we came here. To see… Anti. To see Anti."

Jameson's tearful face turns to him violently fast, neck popping. He sits up, looking at the flower beds, not wild but laid neatly. The stick. Not just a stick. A headstone. Jameson can't see, but Anti's name is on it, carved carefully by Jackie.

Jameson's face furrows up, emotion, no emotion. Nothing. Jackie calls him. Nothing. His limbs fall limp, his lips parted and face upward to the bright, bright sun…

And, completely stiffened in place, he has the first catatonic episode of his life.

#teeth au #jameson jackson #jackieboy man #jacksepticeye egos #jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfic #writersofjack #writers of jack

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malewifemammon · 2 years

Text

oh yeah baby kam's peter post made me want to share some of my own thoughts abt him (but also i didn't wanna tack em on in a reblog bc my thoughts r very related to Personal Stuff About Me and i didn't want to make their post my storytime i guess haha)

cw for mentions of sexual harassment/assault under the cut, as well as discussion of germophobia and ocd! also uh maybe some peter hate so if u don't wanna read that don't open the post! and have a nice day ^_^

so like i'm definitely not the type of person to say that nobody should ever like characters who do bad things, or that unhealthy relationships should Never be portrayed in art. so if you like peter or his dynamic with alice, please don't take this as me saying you shouldn't do that.

but like i've been into this series since i was about twelve or maybe even eleven? (long hours largely unsupervised with my best friend at the local library waiting for my mom to finish work) and while i definitely didn't understand healthy relationship dynamics all that much, i still took issue with peter forcing a kiss on alice from the get-go. i'll be honest, that along with his attitude towards her made me hate him right off the bat. these days i definitely think he has interesting and/or comedic potential in some situations, but that particular side of him still freaks me out. obviously. he was my least favorite of alice's potential interests (besides the twins).

BUT something kam brought up in their post kind of clicked with me.

around middle school, i started developing symptoms of ocd (i think triggered by a lot of stressful life events happening in quick and intense succession on top of the usual chaos of middle school). eventually it got on to be actual ocd, which i still deal with to this day. and my biggest trigger has been germs/uncleanliness. i didn't used to have this obsession with contamination, so i'm pretty sure i didn't have it when i first got into nkna. but as time went on i saw more and more of myself in that aspect of peter.

i really didn't want to, since i disliked him so much (not to mention how often ocd or similar traits are either played for jokes in most media or given to eccentric villain types to make them seem more Weird™). but over time it got harder to ignore.

kam brings up that bc of his germophobia, peter doesn't really have much experience in the way of romantic/sexual interactions. and it made me think of myself.

because aside from my tendency to not be able to interact with others all that well, my cleanliness ocd is a big stumbling block in the way of physical intimacy, of ANY kind, but especially romantic/sexual since that tends to be more... involved. and there's the screenshot of peter telling alice smth about how he doesn't mind Her Germs specifically, which is probably something i've said almost word for word to my own partner. they were my first for a lot of things, both because of my anxiety but also because of the germ thing. (side note i love them very much they're so cool and good about My Tendencies lol) and it can be really weird to be in a relationship with someone who has a lot more experience than you sometimes, because it can be easy to worry that you're somehow letting them down (not that i get the sense alice gets out all that much either, but still). but i also know the overwhelming joy and relief that comes with finding someone whose germs you don't mind.

AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY haha because i still don't really like peter! i think it's funny to bully him but also sometimes he does genuinely anger me. and it's been an odd experience to feel myself become more like him in this very specific way over the years, to relate to some of his fears and such. not to mention, i don't remember his germophobia being played as a joke all that much?

i mean there probably are moments where it is, i wouldn't be surprised, but comparing the way he's treated as opposed to, say, death the kid from soul eater... it feels different. [i could make a whole other post about my feelings on kid but i digress]

he's just a character that i personally have a lot of really complex feelings about, because on the one hand he can be a total scumbag who i hate, but on the other hand he seems to encapsulate certain struggles i've dealt with that i don't see illustrated in media very often. he's really important to me but also i want to kick the shit out of him ^_^

anyway. i don't think i really had A Point to all of this, just wanted to jot down some of my own ideas on him ig

#nkna #.txt #peter #honking #← hope it's ok to take inspo from ur thoughtful honking tag kam if u see this lol #it makes me smile and also i'm a bit of an aspiring clown so it feels thematically appropriate

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love-advice-on-call · 7 months

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hi! I’m a junior in Highschool right now, and this person I’ve liked for a while now asked me out, and I said yes! I’ve like them for quite some time, and we’ve been good friends for even longer. But my issue is that Im not very good at processing my emotions (I think). Whenever I have any intense emotion, wether it be excitement, dread, anxiety, anger, giddiness, etc, i get this tightness in my chest. And this also goes for my hyperfixation, where just thinking about it makes me feel like my esophagus is getting squeezed. I’ve gotten better at determining the “good tighness” and the “bad tightness”, but usually the good leads to the bad because, well the tightness gets worse the longer I think about my partner. BUT I REALLY LIKE THEM HES THE MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER HES SO SWEET AND FUNNY AND HAS THE DORKIEST LAUGH AND THEYRE SO PRETTY!! So I don’t not like them that’s not the problem, but I’m worried that I’ll just think the wrong thing and it will turn sour? I’m sorry this is very discombobulated and scrambled, good luck decoding this if you decide to and thank you in advance if u do ♥️😭

Hello! Sorry for the late reply, I came down with a sinus infection for the first time ever so I needed some time to adjust. I'm OK if you're wondering!

Now I'm no doctor or psychiatrist, but it sounds like to me that you have anxiety.

Feeling that intensely and your feelings being magnified is usually associated with being anxious. But the biggest indicator to me is your esophagus feeling squeezed. I've got a couple of friends with anxiety so bad that they need medication and they usually say they feel that exact feeling.

Being worried about thinking the wrong thing or messing things up is very normal. Especially for new relationships no matter how old you get or how experienced you are, but I can image that it feels even stronger when you feel your emotions so intensely all the time.

For now, what I recommend is that you try to pick up some tools to deal with your anxiety. That means things like reading articles/books on managing your emotions and understanding what you are going through. You can also try mindfulness meditation as I have personally found that it helps to stop me from spiraling when I get too fixated on something. There are videos on YouTube for that and plenty of meditation apps available. I know all of this may be really lame, but it does help in the long run from personal experience. This isn't something that can be fixed over a message on Tumblr and does take time and practice to learn to live with.

Great articles written by mental health professionals can be found here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/archive?search=anxiety&op=Search§ion=All&page=0

If you are feeling open to it or feel that it may be necessary, then you can always bring up to your partner how you are feeling. I don't mean you tell them every time you feel scrambled or worried that you did the wrong thing because then it is going to happen A LOT. What I mean is that you could tell them that you do feel emotions intensely and that you get the feeling in your esophagus so they can better understand what you go through because it's always important for your partner to know what lens you experience life from. From there, you two can have a better understanding of each other and maybe he can take steps to re-assure you from time to time.

When you get older, you should also look into getting into therapy to dig deeper into why you feel the way you do. I think you may find that the way you feel is more common than you think and more manageable than what you've had to experience so far.

Posted October 3, 2023

#advice #love advice #relationships #relationship advice #relationship help #anxiety #sinus infections are weird and make my teeth hurt

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wri0thesley · 3 years

Note

Congrats on your now 6k, Nat! I've been here since it was jojo only but my jjk and bnha brain rot deepens with every passing day!! I love the idea of chubby, curvy reader-chan getting their new villain costume which turns out to be way more form fitting and skimpy than expected. Shigaraki is so frustrated that he won't be able to feel you up properly in it now that you look like something out of his collection of eroges or hentai manga… he decides to take out his frustration out on you directly of course with prompts 60, 64, 74, and maybe some hints of 79 (moreso just being totally objectified by him). he's very determined to see you make an actual ahegao face while he fucks you stupid in your cute new costume~

preferred route - shigaraki x reader (4k)

you really don’t know how to feel about the new costume.

warnings: nsfw, minors dni. dubious consent (power imbalance). explicitly chubby reader. fingering, finger-sucking, threat of death, light body image issues, coming inside, objectification. afab reader, neutral pronouns.

[a/n: sorry i couldnt fit the ‘sex toys’ part very well into the narrative, anon! i hope u like it anyway, i needed some chubby reader positivity today and ive mentioned before i think shigaraki would absolutely fucking LOVE a soft chubby s/o fgnjkbjgfk.]

It’s a lot tighter than you were expecting.

You probably shouldn’t complain, seeing as it’s the League of Villains footing the bill and not you yourself, but still – did it have to cling so intensely to every curve? Your nose wrinkles, plucking at the skin-tight fabric. This isn’t something you’d choose for yourself, there’s no doubt about that – you’re not sure how you’re supposed to go out in front of the rest of the League and not feel self-conscious.

Ugh.

You stare at yourself in the dirty mirror in the bar’s bathroom again. Yeah. This costume leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, and though you know that there’s plenty of precedent for costumes to be like this, it’s times like this that you’re jealous of Shigaraki’s deceptively simple clothes. Even Dabi’s ripped up jacket and other garments that have seen better days.

Hell, right now you’re pretty jealous of Toga too – sure, her skirt is short, but that cardigan would really go a long way towards easing off some of the anxiety you have about your chest pushing out the front of the fabric and the way it’s clinging to the generous curve of your hips.

The skirt of this costume is short, too; and unlike Toga’s, it doesn’t do a cute little flippy thing.

“Hey,” the rasp at the door – and the impatient knocking of a fist against wood – is unmistakably Shigaraki. “We haven’t got all day, y’know. Come out here so we can check it’s okay and get a fuckin’ move on.”

Oh, he sounds mad. You know plenty about Shigaraki’s short temper by now; though you don’t think he’d actually hurt you – just threaten and glower – you still know that it’s probably better to stay on the safe side.

“Okay,” you call out, your voice a little wobbly. “Sorry, took me a second to work out the closures--”

(That’s a lie, but you’re not sure that he’d look favourably on ‘I think I look horrible in this and I’m self-conscious’. Shigaraki isn’t exactly vain himself, but you still don’t want to risk his ire.)

He’s way, way too close to the door.

You’ve noticed that he always lingers a little bit closer to you than anyone else, but you’ve written it off as thus; you’re the newest member of this merry band of outcasts, and he doesn’t trust you yet. You can understand that. But you stand there in the doorway of the bathroom doing your best not to tremble as Shigaraki’s red-tinted, tired eyes trail over you from the top of your head to the impractical but weirdly comfortable toe of your high-heeled boots.

You wonder if he’s going to say something about the pudge that you know is spilling over the top of thigh high stockings, the scandalously low-cut neckline, the tight fit of the material that shows every line of your body--

But he doesn’t. His dry lips twitch and you think he’s going to laugh, so you protectively pull your arm around yourself – but he just turns around, one of his hands coming up to itch at the back of his neck, and lets out a scratchy;

“Looks fine to me.”

You step out into the bar proper. The eyes of every member of the League are drawn to you; Toga exclaims something about how cute the colour is, Dabi whistles and says; ‘Huh, not bad’, Twice flushes, mumbling something you don’t hear under his breath that’s immediately followed by something you kind of hear in that other, different voice about how slutty the thing is. The guy who brought the costume – Giran, you think – looks very pleased with himself.

You’re so overwhelmed by the hubbub that you don’t see the harsh glare that most of the men in the room get from Shigaraki himself. All you know is that things quieten down very quickly; and as you filter into one of Kurogiri’s warp gates to head out to the ‘errand’ that’s supposed to be being run, Shigaraki himself snaps to you;

“You. Rookie. C’mere. Stay by me.”

So.

Shigaraki is pretty sure you have no fucking idea how hot you look in the new costume.

Which sucks, because everyone else definitely knows. He’s pretty sure if he wasn’t sticking to your side like glue, Dabi would be all over you; and that’s absolutely not permitted because you might not know it quite yet, but you’re his. He was pretty sure of it before you tried on the costume, but seeing you in it just solidified the thought in his mind; if he doesn’t get to feel just how soft your thighs are when they’re digging into his bony hips, he’s probably either going to die or go on an unplanned murderous rampage.

You literally look like you’ve been transported from one of the hentai manga he keeps under his bed; one of the ones he has to special order in, because some consumers have no taste--

It’s all he can do to not stare right down the front of your costume, not reach out and pinch the soft flesh of your thighs, not bury his head in your chest to see if they feel as good as he imagines they do. But he’s got some self-control where his plans are strategies are concerned, so he just makes sure that you stick by his side so no other asshole can stick their nose where it doesn’t belong and he tries to get everything done as quickly and efficiently as possible.

(Maybe he wants to impress you a little bit, too.)

Shigaraki generally gets what he wants – right now, what he wants is you. When everything is over and done with and you’re all back at the bar, he comes very close to you to mumble into your ear (you shiver at the feel of his breath fanning across your neck, which he thinks is cute; it’s actually fear, because Tomura Shigaraki isn’t known for being kind to other members of the League, but he can appreciate how cute you look scared, too).

“My room.”

Your fellow members are celebrating a plan that went off without a hitch, but your blood runs cold as you turn to blink into Tomura’s dark-ringed eyes. His face is perfectly serious. Did you fuck up, somehow? You don’t think that he’d care about turning you to dust and decay right here in front of everyone, but maybe he thinks you deserve a little dignity in your death.

“C-can I just get this off--” You ask him, your voice pitching – but three fingers wrap around your forearm, sharp fingertips and ragged nails digging into the soft skin.

“No,” his voice is final; it leaves no room for argument. “Leave it on.”

If anybody sees Shigaraki forcibly drag you from the bar and through the hallway into his room, they decide that it’s much easier to keep quiet, because nobody says anything even as the door swings closed behind you with an ominous click. You’re limping a little bit just to keep up with Shigaraki’s certain, self-assured lope – but he doesn’t care, as the door is opened and you’re prodded into his bedroom.

It’s . . . every bit what you were expecting, honestly. There’s a bed pushed into the corner but most of the room is taken up by a desk with a very fancy looking PC set up on it, and rows and rows of shelving featuring figures and video games and other assorted nerdy paraphernalia.

You notice a particularly skimpily dressed, curvy figure next to a whole series of games that you recognise and your face heats up. You’re not exactly surprised that Shigaraki likes that kind of thing, but it just being out on display so shamelessly--

You’re backed against the door the minute that it closes, Shigaraki’s frame looming over yours as he cages you in. You’re burning, embarrassed and hot and frightened, as those blood-red orbs stay focussed on you. You try and grasp for something to say that might make him seem even a little bit less frightening.

“I—I’m sorry?” You ask, blinking up at him, avoiding the desire to bite your lip. Shigaraki’s eye twitches, his lip curling.

“Yeah?” He asks you, rasping. You notice that one of his legs is bouncing, almost as if he’s nervous about something. “You ought to be.”

You’re still staring up at him, all confused and frightened and unsure. You don’t know what you’re apologising for; you just feel like it’s the right thing to do. You hope your silence doesn’t piss him off too much.

But Shigaraki is just as awkward as you, it seems. The quiet stretches on in front of you until you can bear it no longer, and you say;

“I—” You wet your lips. “I don’t know what I did.”

He snorts, humourlessly – but his eyes move from your gaze down the length of your body, lingering on all of the bare skin and the curves and the places you feel so exposed.

“You’ve got no idea what you look like, then?” He asks you, and before you can open your mouth to say anything else, one of his hands has moved from beside you on the door frame to delicately grip your chin and force you to look directly at him. He blinks a little too quickly; like he’s rehearsing what he’s supposed to say in his head. Still, you’re not expecting the words that actually drop from his mouth; “You don’t know that pretty much every guy in there’s spent the night undressing you in their mind?”

Your face flushes warm. You know he’s wrong – he’s making fun of you, he must be – but the look in his eyes is much more alive than you’ve seen it before.

“I—”

“Including me.” The other hand still on the door frame grabs one of your wrists, just above where the neat little gloves that make up part of your costume end. He shoves your hand over his crotch; where you can feel something that’s unmistakably stiff and hard and needy pressing against your palm. You gasp at it at the same time as Shigaraki takes a hiss of breath at the sensation of your hand on him.

Shigaraki has played enough eroges and hentai games to know that he’s not the sweet, safe choice for a romance route. He’s what he guesses would be the ‘bad boy’ type – the one who maybe pressures you a bit, who uses his power to assert himself and gets too attached. The games usually consider guys like him the ‘bad end’ – but you’re not all moral fortitude either, and Shigaraki always ends up thinking the ‘bad ends’ were the best all along.

So he’ll use his position to his advantage.

His voice comes out more confident than he feels thanks to channelling that energy; the thought of the villain bad ending. Like he’s reading from a script.

“You’re not going to let your boss deal with this on his own, right?”

He’s fucking delighted when you respond exactly the way the player character in one of those games would.

Because that means he’s won.

And winning means unlocking the H-Scene.

You whine when he runs his fingers over the skimpy underwear you’re wearing underneath the tight skirt of your costume, your eyelids fluttering, your mouth parting and looking so inviting that there’s nothing more that he wants than to shove his cock down your throat until you choke.

It’s embarrassingly easy, he thinks, to turn you into a mess – a couple of careful touches, a couple of dry hisses about what a slut you look like in this new costume, how he thinks you like having his eyes on you, how he’s sure you fit into it like that on purpose, how he thinks that they shouldn’t send you out to do field work with the League and you should just stay here and be a cute little living fleshlight for him – and you’re basically rolling over and showing your boss your softest parts.

You are soft, coincidentally – Shigaraki had thought you’d be, but the squishy busts of lewd anime figures don’t compare at all to squeezing your breast as best he can without all of his fingers and the soft little whimper that he wins from you as a reward.

He’s not patient. He doesn’t have time to tease you – not when the minute you’d stepped out of the bathroom earlier he’d felt his cock twitch in his pants and he’d had to try and ignore it for hours. So he simply pulls the already scandalous neckline of your costume (underwired within so as not to add an unsightly bra to the slit down to your sternum) down so that your chest is free for his roving gaze.

He’s gotten you onto his bed by now. He should probably have changed the sheets before this, but . . . well, he hadn’t expected to roll such a fortuitous event today. The way you’re pretty much panting up at him and the way he’s managed to urge forth slick from between your thighs with surprisingly dextrous fingers just proves to him that washing them before fucking you on them would have been a waste.

His lips are dry and chapped when he presses hungry, possessive kisses to your collarbone – his teeth digging a little too hard into your nipple as they close around them and tug. Your own hand tangles in his hair automatically, snagging in knots, but your grip just seems to spur him on.

He kisses and noses and explores at your bared skin like he’s never had anyone else in his bed before. You guess he’s so uncaring of how rough he’s being with his mouth because there’s no chance of him getting carried away – you can’t help but start and cringe whenever his pinky finger hovers a little too close for comfort to the rest of his hands on you.

“Look at you,” Shigaraki is panting, as the underwear is pulled down, leaving your bottom half clad only in the thigh-high stockings. The underwear is so scant to make sure lines don’t show underneath the fabric, but you doubt that’s the kind of thing Shigaraki will buy or care about. “You’re dripping at the thought of your leader fucking you, aren’t you?”

It’s embarrassing, but you are.

Shigaraki’s not exactly classically handsome; but there’s something leonine in the way that he holds himself, the way he talks, self-assured and arrogant with all the power in the world at his fingertips, that stokes a primal need in your poor little villainous heart.

“You already look like you’re fucked dumb and I haven’t even touched you,” he sneers. There’s something familiar about the line – like you’ve heard it in a cheesy porno, or read it in a manga, or even played a game or something where it’s a dialogue option--

You can’t bring yourself to think about it as Shigaraki prods at your slit, calloused fingertip brushing your clit before it slides further down and he presses the digit inside of you in one quick, deep motion.

It knocks the breath out of you, how quickly he begins to fuck you using the one finger inside of you. You feel yourself tighten around it at the frisson of danger that runs through you; Shigaraki’s hands are his greatest weapon, and one of them is stuffed deep inside of you, probing at your textured walls.

He groans as he feels your channel clamp around him, mumbling something about how ‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Fuckin’ slut, I shouldn’t known someone who goes out dressed like that would be easy--’

He finds that spongy spot inside of you that makes your toes curl and you whimper again, back arching, squirming as he pulls the finger out just enough to press a second one inside of you beside it.

“Sh-Shigaraki—” You sound fucked out already, as he crooks his fingers and begins to abuse the knowledge of how that particular spot makes you whine. It’s cute – yeah, the characters in his game moan, but they moan out ‘Master’ and ‘Sir’ – and though those do get him hard and send a thrill through him, it’s different hearing his actual name dropping from your pretty mouth.

“Tomura,” he grunts, continuing to stroke that spot. You’re squirming uselessly now, sweat beading across your hairline, your chest heaving. He presses them particularly roughly against it. “Say it.”

Your pretty eyes meet his; his gaze unwavering, your own spotty with the pleasure that’s being dangled just before you. You can feel that he’s on the edge of coaxing your orgasm from you – good with his fingers for a guy who has either never been laid before or maybe has only ever paid for the privilege. It’s not surprising considering how delicate he has to be with them, you guess.

He pauses.

“Say it,” he says, again, his voice husky and low, cracked lips pressed tightly together.

“Tomura,” you whimper, because honestly? You’re too close to coming, too confused and disoriented and outside of yourself to think of doing anything as stupidly dangerous as outright disobeying him.

He groans, fingers getting faster and faster, rubbing your plush inner walls until it all gets too much and you feel your thighs shake. You dig your feet into the edge of the mattress to stop them closing around Shigaraki’s hand, fearing what might happen if you clamped down – but all it does is make the orgasm that washes over you in pulses and throbs that much more intense, slick gush out over his fingers as you wail into the ceiling.

There’s no way that any members of the League left in the bar didn’thear that.

He’s pulling his fingers out of you with a slick pop, unzipping his trousers, taking out his cock – you start at the size of it, not expecting rail-thin verging-on-malnourished Shigaraki to be carrying around a weapon like that. Shigaraki sees how your eyes widen and can’t help the too wide, cocky grin that alights on his face.

“Cute,” he tells you – and before you can react, he’s impaling you on it.

You’re still over-sensitive and stimulated from your recent orgasm, so you can’t help the way that your body tries to sink into his mattress away from the new intruder to your body – but Shigaraki huffs, one hand fastening around your hip to keep you in place. He doesn’t put his last finger down, of course – but you can feel the place where it would fit if he did like a burn on your skin, and you bite back any desire to fight back.

He doesn’t wait to start establishing a pace.

Shigaraki is a man who gets what he wants; who takes it, if he gets impatient. And fucking into your tight, wet cunt is no different. He’s had vague thoughts about what it would feel like before, when he’s pumped his cock into the fleshlight he’s embarrassed of owning. He’s spent most of this evening imagining what you’d feel like. But neither of them compare to the real thing; hot, and tight, and perfect, fitting his cock like a glove with a vice-like grip that has him battling to not make an embarrassment out of himself and come inside you straight away.

Your thighs do, coincidentally, wrap around his hips – pillowy soft, thick, perfect. Your mouth goes into a slack little ‘oh’ as he fucks into you, the wet sound of his balls slapping against your slick skin echoing through the room. You’re whining and whimpering like a bitch in heat, mumbling something;

“S-slow down, please, T-Tomura, s’too much-- s’too fast--”

But he’s a contrary asshole. He knows your poor sex is probably still reeling from how you’d squirted on his fingers – but you feel so good, and surely what he wants is more important than how you’re feeling?

You were made to take his cock, after all.

Your second orgasm rips through you so quickly that it’s almost painful, your sensitive inner walls repeatedly pummelled by the thick shaft inside of you. You open your mouth to wail again, only for Shigaraki to force the two fingers that were inside of you earlier into your mouth.

“Stop being so noisy,” he pants, in between harsh thrusts. He’s getting closer; his skinny thighs trembling, his hips rocking into you with almost no rhyme or reason or rhythm at all. “E-everyone can already hear how good I’m fucking you, suck on those instead--”

He’s not expecting you to do it. Truth be told, he’s expecting you to sputter in indignation, maybe bite him – nobody in the League treats him with the respect he deserves – but . . . you’re different, aren’t you? Made for him?

Your eyes are still tearing up at the corners from his rough pace on too-sensitive body parts, but you keep them on him as your tongue probes at his fingers, licking up your own essence from the skin and letting it flood your senses. It feels filthy. But it’s clear to you that Shigaraki really likes it, a groan escaping his mouth.

The thumb on the hand that was leaning on your hip moves to begin to swirl impassioned circles over your swollen clit. You jerk, again – back arching, babbling and mumbling around his fingers even as you try and suck on them. You’re so over-stimulated, hot and needy, being touched too much and too fast and too hard. Even now, though, you’re still trying to please him.

It’s that – the little submissive motion, the soft feel of wet muscle brushing the digits, the way you feel so tight and wet around him, the fact that you’re doing your best – which pushes Shigaraki over the edge in the end.

Fuck.

He wishes he could stay inside of you forever.

He feels his hips stutter against yours as he thrusts himself so deep inside of you he thinks he could get lost there – feels his cock spasm, twitch, spilling his cum as deep inside of you as it’s possible for it to go.

And the twitch of him inside and the rush of his warm cum makes you tip over the precipice, too – your eyes rolling back in your head, a string of drool trickling from your open mouth where his fingers are still resting against your tongue.

It’s a fucking ahegao face, is what it is, and Shigaraki’s going to be using it as jerk-off fuel for the next year.

(Although after this, he hopes he won’t need jerk-off material. Not when he has a cute, willing subordinate with a couple of holes they’re happy to let their boss use.)

Finally pulling out of you, Shigaraki collapses onto the bed next to you, his breathing heavy. You’re expecting him to tell you to get the fuck out of his room – he’s never struck you as the intimate type.

You’re proved wrong, though, when he shifts closer and he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you against him. Staring down, you notice that he’s clenched his hand into a fist to avoid accidentally brushing you and bringing you to a dusty end, and you feel a pang of something that might almost be affection.

“I need to take off the costume,” you say, very softly. “I-if I wanna wash it, before the next time I need it--”

Shigaraki grumbles something under his breath. He seems to already be half-asleep – then again, his hips had clashed against yours with a ferocity that had seemed draining--

“Don’t see why it matters,” he mumbles, dry lips brushing the back of your neck. “Do the assholes good to know who you belong to.”

The thought that Shigaraki thinks you belong to him should send a shudder down your spine that’s all cool horror and fear. It certainly shouldn’t send an electric shock down your throat that settles low and heavy in your belly and is more arousal than fear.

What can you say, though?

Every time you’ve played an otome game, you’ve always gone with the bad boy’s route.

#shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki smut #bnha x reader #bnha smut #not sfw #writing #5555 event fic #afab reader #neutral pronouns #dub con for ts #chubby reader posting #bnha posting

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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 3 years

Note

Could u also do the four with an S/O that can read them like a book, and just out of no where knows what’s going on and gives random (good) advice? Thank you so much!!

Agh, anon, your requests are a breath of fresh air—feel like I'm going back to my roots with these classic headcanon-type posts 😭💜 I figured this would be a good post to go into some of the problems the boys might have, if you don't mind!

The Boys with an S/O who can read them like a book:

Donatello

• His latest projects, practical and obscure, have not been going well as of late

• He's in a slum and can't seem to get out of it, trying incessantly to fix the various issues to no avail

• It's not often he gets like this but it's here and he's irritable—unable to peel himself away from his projects even late, late into the night when he should be in bed

• You find him up way past the hour in his lab, having heard him tapping his instruments, shuffling around the space, he's not making an effort to be subtle but generally no one approaches him in these times

• Well, except for you

• He doesn't quite notice your presence until he turns around to find you leaned on the doorway

• "You know, all this stuff isn't going to run away from you," you say diplomatically. "It's going to be here when you wake up in the morning. So why don't you go to bed, Donnie?"

• "Because I have to figure out what's wrong," he sighs. "If I don't do it now, I'll..."

• You walk over and take the empty pipette from his hand, setting it down on the counter behind you. "You have all the time in the world to tackle this stuff; you really should go to bed, Donnie. Like I said, your projects aren't going to be gone in the morning, or the next, or the one after that. You shouldn't live life with a constant sense of urgency."

• It may not be what he really wants to hear, but he can't deny that he is impatient at times and tends to prone to anxiety when things keep going wrong.

• "You...may be right. Possibly. Maybe," he says, a hint of defeat. "Okay. I'll go to bed."

• Kisses the top of your head on his way out.

• Someone to understand and give him a gentle perspective without judgement is a very welcome change

Leo

• Leo always has a looming feeling of being unprepared

• What if Mikey won't be paying attention when he needs him to? What if Raph has an explosive episode on the surface and puts their mission on the line? What if Donnie's equipment fails them at the worst moment?

• It's why he's always harking on everyone to make sure everything is in place, pushing for training, trying to avoid creating conflict. He just wants everyone to be safe, and so the micromanaging begins.

• His brothers have been more uncooperative and uncoordinated than usual

• Meditates excessively when these things are on his mind, today being no different—he enters a distant state of mind while doing mundane tasks and his usual practices that makes him feel unapproachable

• You find him doing it yet again, he's cleaning his portion of the lair and re organizing things he's already organized

• "What has you so frazzled, Leo?" you ask.

• He doesn't even respond until he's done setting his books back in order.

• "Nothing," he says. "I'm doing what I always do."

• "You sure?" "Because it seems like you're stressing right now."

• "I'm fine. This is how I relax."

• You take a seat on the edge of his bed. "So you are stressed?"

• Leo hadn't seemed to notice the words he'd used but knows he can't backtrack.

• "You can trust your brothers, you know that, right?" He sits down as well and sighs. "Even when you guys are a little...off beat, you always pull through, don't you? That's why you're so good, it's because you can improv and adapt. There have been times where you are totally not on the same page and still managed to make it out, and pretty successfully, might I add."

• He contemplates for a minute. You're right; with or without all of his excessive efforts, they always found a way.

• "Hearing it from someone else makes it easier to see, I guess. Thank you, (Y/N), I'll keep that in mind."

• The surprise advice is unexpected but appreciated, as no one can make him relax like that besides Splinter

Mikey

• He doesn't realize just how obvious he is when he's bothered

• Genuinely confused when point out his fiddling with random stuff, going back and forth to the kitchen more than normal, a little quieter than you're used to. Weirdly enough, he gets a bit lethargic when things like this crop up because he thinks so much

• Like now. He's used to being low-key criticized for his natural behavior and mindset, but a guy can only take so much, can't he?

• He doesn't want to feel like a kid and like he's incompetent, yet he feels that way at times due to how people talk to him

• He's fidgeting with some trinket on the couch when you approach him and seems unenthusiastic

• "Oh, what's up babes?"

• "You're doing the thing again," you say with a chuckle, "being told you're doing something wrong feels pretty bad, huh?"

• He's a little confused

• "What do you mean?"

• "I mean that sometimes your family doesn't understand that you function a certain way and, there's nothing inherently wrong with that, but at the same time, we have to be conscientious, don't we? Not every criticism is a personal offense, so try not to take it to heart too much, babe."

• He takes a moment to process, but you know he's got it when his eyes light up and he puts down whatever he's messing with

• "How come you like...always know what to say, angelcakes? You're so smart!"

• Will end up coming to you instead when he's got a problem if Leo or Donnie's a part of it, because they used to be his go-to, but telling it to his partner just hits different

• Your words actually stick with him and he's not too stubborn to take them in stride

Raph

• To be honest, Raph doesn't do well with being confronted while he's angry in general...

• Tends to blow steam off in his gym or practicing with his sai (or, if he's in a REALLY bad mood, knitting) though can only spend so much time doing that

• Not before you say something, at least

• Raph is a highly emotional person, not limited to anger. But this of course makes him an accident waiting to happen at times because of his intense disposition, so his attitude can be shit-starter, especially with Leonardo because he envies his position leader

• So, he's been clearly fuming and you've decided it's time to say something

• He's at his weight bench repping it out

• "Have another argument with Leo?"

• "Something like that."

• "You understand he's under a lot of pressure, right? That being team leader isn't that easy?"

• "What would you know?"

• "It's not hard to figure, Raph, you guys are being actively hunted and the responsibility's on him to keep you safe when Splinter can't be there. Yes, that's you too. Try putting yourself in his shoes and think about how that would make you feel. It's hard? Yeah. I know it's not what you want, but you have your own special place in the family, and no one can replace you. Think about how much Leo and the rest of your brothers would flounder if you weren't there. They need you where you're at, just like you three need Leo. You're their big guns, big guy."

• Of course, he doesn't want to admit that you're right, that hurts the pride

• But deep down he knows that it's true.

• "I'll tell y what, baby girl, you've got the nerve, I guess. I ain't saying you're right or anything, but..."

• He's always going to remember this, but unfortunately, he won't always heed your advice. It gets lost in the moment and it's his personal problem that he must deal with himself.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt x reader #tmnt donnie #tmnt mikey #tmnt raph #tmnt leo

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ceciliablossoms · 3 years

Note

tiramisu for diluc albedo and childe pleasee pelapdepleasepleaselplz

Of course!!

ALSO TYSM @nonbiananrywrites FOR YOUR HELP ILY

I did however choose to go easy on them

TW: Injury, Anxiety, Panic, Blood

Tiramisu: "Deep breaths... You'll be okay."

-------

Diluc

Anxiety was nothing new to them, especially when it came to Diluc and his role as the Darknight Hero. He mostly came home unscathed, but the rare injury often sent an icy panic through their veins. Even if the aforementioned wound were to be minuscule at most, it would still cause them great worry.

His bloody clothing often reminded them that he could one day never return home. Even with the occasional help of the Traveller on his side, their worries continued to eat away at them from the inside. The gash across his arm that stayed limp at his side was the straw that broke the camel's back.

When he entered the winery, exhaustion prevalent, they approached him with haste. Immediately, they ushered him to take a seat, offering to make him a meal, but as they pulled their hand away from resting on his arm it felt sticky. They glanced down at their crimson-stained palm with wide eyes.

It took them a moment to process as they stared at the red that coated the fingers. The warmth of it seemed to burn them as their panic set in. Their eyes began to water.

They demanded that he remove his jacket so that they could tend to his wound. As they gathered their supplies their hands trembled with fear. While they tenderly dressed his wounds, they wept, their bottled up anxiety finally spilling out.

As hard as they tried not to make a noise, they could not prevent themselves from sniffling.

Once their tears dripped onto his bandages, Diluc pulled his arm away, and with great care, he placed his uninjured hand gently on their cheek. With slow, careful movements, he guided them to look up at him, and they averted their eyes. As they let out a sob, he pulled them closer, embracing their shaking form as they cried.

His voice was quiet when he spoke to them, knowing why they were upset, "Deep breaths... You'll be okay."

There was a pause before they responded. "But you won't." Their voice broke as they spoke, clutching his shirt in their hands.

He hummed quietly as he glanced over the arm that they had bandaged, a frown everpresent on his face. He stared down at them softly as they grew overwhelmed.

They were afraid for him, and he knew it. He had always known it even when they had tried to conceal it. The emotions they'd tried to keep under wraps had begun to seep out, and as they tried so desperately to stop it from overflowing it slipped between their fingers.

"I'll make more of an effort to keep myself from getting injured again. Even if it means... I have to ask for help...." They stared at him in surprise.

Though his verbal reassurances weren't very much in terms of comfort, him swallowing his pride certainly was. Even if the help was from just the honorary knight, they'd be happy. He would at the very least have someone watching his back.

They smiled through their tears, "Promise?"

He nodded in sincerity but let out a small sigh. "Promise."

Albedo

They sighed, stumped once more as they worked on their experiment with Sucrose. Something just wasn't right. No matter how many times they redid it the outcome was always different, even if it was done the exact same way down to a T.

They exchanged glances of disappointment with Sucrose as the two looked over their notes once more. Usually, the liquid in the vials in front of them at the very least changed colour. This time it didn't do anything! No colour change. No heat or steam was produced. It didn't even bubble.

They were at their wit's end, despite their work partner's eagerness to continue. Running a hand through their hair, they glanced over their ingredients on the table, neat and organized in their respective alchemical devices and containers.

"Maybe we should ask Albedo?" They proposed. Sucrose looked up from the messy notebook in her hands.

"P-Perhaps you're right." She looked slightly disheartened that neither of them could figure out a solution but also relieved that they suggested grabbing Albedo for assistance before they made a big mess of it.

They'd stepped out momentarily to find the blonde alchemist as Sucrose continued to fiddle with the experiment.

On their hunt they found him browsing the library, searching high and low for a book he seemed to be struggling to pinpoint the location of. At the sound of familiar footsteps, he turned his head to peer over at them. He nodded in greeting as they waved at him with a smile.

"Albedo, could I perhaps trouble you for some assistance? Sucrose and I can't seem to figure out where we're going wrong." They kept their voice down as to it disturb the other people in the library.

"Of course. What is it that you're having trouble with?" He approached them as they led the way back to the alchemy lab.

"Well, the outcome is always different even if we replicate it perfectly. We don't know what the issue is."

"I see." He put his hand on his chin, deep in thought as they opened the door for him.

As the two entered, Sucrose stood over the beaker with a proud expression, "I-I managed to get a reaction out of it even though this one this one w-was different too."

They approached with Albedo following behind. As he stood on the other side of Sucrose, they picked it up carefully with the curious examination. This vial had become a peculiar shade of green and fizzed like it were a carbonated drink. It emitted an odd odour when they swirled the liquid inside.

"What did you do differently?" They asked as they held it up to eye level.

As Sucrose opened her mouth to speak the vial seemed to heat up rapidly. They let out a small whine and switched hands before setting it down entirely. Albedo was quick to move after that, pulling Sucrose away roughly and making a grab for them as the liquid reacted violently causing the glass to explode into shards.

Covering their face, they yelped as glass pierced their skin, Albedo not quite having reached them. They moved their arms, staring down at the glass embedded in them with widened eyes. Albedo kneeled to their level after telling Sucrose to fetch a medical kit.

They were breathing heavily whether, from pain, panic, or both was indecipherable at the moment. His top priority was to remove the glass. As Sucrose handed him the kit, she moved to clean the workspace and dispose of the mess.

He stood them up and moved them to a table across the room where he removed the glass with tweezers. Thoroughly, he cleaned their injuries, muttering a few words to them as they shook in his grasp.

"Deep breaths... You'll be alright."

His voice was soothing as they focused on it to distract from the stinging in their forearms. He'd fully removed and disposed of all the glass and was now focusing on cleaning any hazardous material out to prevent infection. It wasn't as efficient as it would have been if he'd taken them to see Barbara, but when dealing with things as hazardous as these, it was more pressing to clean it on site.

Gingerly, he staunched the bleeding as Sucrose tossed the shards into the bin before scurrying out hurriedly to go get Barbara. He wrapped their arms with bandages.

"Sucrose will return shortly with Barbara, so she can help you more efficiently." He kept his voice quiet so he wouldn't startle them.

They nodded as they leaned against him, but said nothing. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around them to keep them steady as their panic began to wear off. They seemed tired.

"Thank you," Their voice was groggy.

"Of course, dearest."

Tartaglia

Frigid rain burned their skin as they stared out at the serpentine beast rising from the ocean. Everyone around them froze, staring out at the monster that summoned the storm. Panic broke out amongst the crowd as the situation finally sank in and the citizens of Liyue scurried to either get inside.

They backed away from the docks slowly as the rain increased in intensity, pelting them painfully. As they made their way through the harbour, they got jostled left and right by others pushing past them. The overwhelming feeling made them panic, their anxiety skyrocketing.

There were so many people around them in hysterics, looking for loved ones, searching for family. Loved ones... Where was Childe? Their stomach dropped.

Despite their emotions, they pushed onward, refusing to stop until they found their significant other. They knew that he could handle himself and were 100% certain that he was fine. Yet, they couldn't help but feel like something was wrong.

High and low they searched for him. All across the harbour, they hunted for him, coming up empty-handed. Even with the occasional call of his name, they got nowhere.

As they came to a stop at the entrance of the harbour, their panic grew tenfold. As they crossed the bridge leading to Guili Plains, they saw a familiar mixture of grey and red upon the cliffside.

They broke into a sprint, calling out his name with urgency. He was staring out at the God that wreaked havoc, an almost triumphant expression across his face. At the sound of his name, he turned his head to them.

Immediately he stood to meet them, and his expression turned to one of pain. He wasn't bleeding but the hand clutching his side as well as his face showed very clearly that he was hurt. They clung to him, faltering when he made a pained noise at the impact of their embrace.

They tensed, "W-We need to get inside! A-And you're hurt."

They grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back to the Harbour. He could feel them shaking, the cold probably not helping their frazzled state. Coming to a stop, he pulled them to his chest.

He rubbed their back gently as they struggled to breathe evenly, "Deep breaths... You'll be okay."

He watched the chaos unfold over their shoulder, knowing he'd eventually have to slip away to the Northland bank to meet with Signora. Nonetheless, though, he comforted them with reassuring words and touches.

They pulled away and dragged him along toward their home so they could care for him, "What happened?"

Their voice was laced with broken confusion. They had no idea what was happening, nor what had spurred it on and on top of it all their beloved was injured.

His response was delayed but he said something about getting tossed around in the crowd. In all honesty, they weren't listening, focusing solely on icing the bruises across this torso. They fidgeted anxiously.

He cupped their face, feigning the same anxious expression that they were showing outwardly. "It'll be okay," He vowed, "Hey, whatever that thing is out there will get dealt with."

They nodded shakily, finding some solace in his words as they leaned against him in tears. He held them close and stroked their hair, shielding them from the window. It wasn't until the Jade Chamber fell and the storm stopped that the weight of stress wiped them out.

Tag List: @fictionalcharactersthatsit @youaskedfurret @nagatorou @seiiblue @dai-tsukki-desu @dilucs-claymore @rainy-day-vibez @duhsies @tempehlust @somniomi

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starlight-writes-stuff · 3 years

Note

SO HEAR ME OUT an nsfw alphabet for draco

hey bestie - im literally so excited to do this (: i have a guilty pleasure of reading nsfw alphabets so u really hit the nail on the head with this request . n e ways , enjoy !

AYO LOOK AT THESE ! : smut (duh but still) , hair pulling , breeding k!nk , unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it) , masturbation , choking , light bondage , praise kink , general adult themes and content so please only read if ur okay with that .

reblogs are always appreciated ! <3 ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

draco is the literal definition of a fluff fic after sex - hes so soft and loving and affectionate . if the sex was on the rougher side , draco goes out of his way to kiss any bruises , cuts , or red marks he may have left on you, soothing the sinfully painful spots with soft touches of his suddenly gentle fingertips.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

draco is built like a greek mf god , and he knows it . he’s all lean , toned muscles and his alabaster pale skin only makes him look more ethereal . draco is quite proud of his body and isn’t afraid to show off if needed.

draco literally loves everything about you , and you’ve tried over and over to get him to pick his most favorite - he never does it because he’s a stubborn little shit and refuses to let you think that he values one part of you over any other . finally , you wore him down to coming up with a top 3 : your hands , your hair , and your chest .

your hands as they fit perfectly in his , they brush his hair out of his eyes with a gentleness that melts him every time (and the way you dig your nails into his back or his arms iykyk) .

draco loves your hair mostly because its the exact opposite of his own ; long , thick , and chocolate brown . he’s constantly playing with your hair , whether that's running his hands through it or gently tugging on it to get your attention . he would kill you if you ever told anyone , but draco taught himself how to braid your hair so he would have something repetitive to do to calm his anxiety .

draco loves your chest : he's such a boob guy . he is such a boob guy . even in a non-sexual context , draco loves having his hands up your shirt just feeling how soft your breasts are , the way that he can feel your heartbeat if you’re still enough . when things are getting *frisky* draco loves your tits - in his hands , using his mouth on them , titty-fucking you , literally everything .

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

draco has a huge breeding kink , but is simultaneously terrified of getting you pregnant. he knows that he wants to be a dad eventually , but draco malfoy is the king of daddy issues™ and can’t fathom having a child right now .

that doesn’t stop him from filling you up with his cum every time you guys fuck - draco loves watching your face as you take his entire load , begging him not to pull out .

once he does , though , draco’s head is immediately between your legs watching his manhood drip out of you , fingering it out of you while you whimper at the way he seems to hit all the right spots .

he’s extremely thankful for the tiny , yellow birth control pills that you’re on , and he reminds you every day to take them .

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

draco had never , ever said i love you to someone during or after sex until the two of you had your first time . now , its a normal occurrence for draco to tell you how much he loves you as he thrusts into your pretty , fucked out body . he lets his forehead fall to yours , moaning the words in between heavy breaths as he finishes inside you .

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

draco had a couple of hookups , and a complicated friends with benefits situation before the two of you got together , so he was somewhat experienced by the time you guys finally got down to it . he made sure you felt so good the entire time , using every trick in his book to make you cum around him over and over until he reached completion as well .

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

draco is a sucker for regular old missionary . he likes being able to watch your face as you take every inch of him , watching your facial expressions change and morph under the influence of his pleasure . if he’s eager to feel you - all of you - draco will hook one of your legs over his shoulders , giving him better access to your sex . this is the one instance where draco wont keep eye contact with you : he can't resist watching himself slide in and out of you , coated in your cum .

however

he's an absolute sucker for you riding him , too . he loves to let you take control and chase your pleasure - plus the visual of you bouncing up and down on his cock , eyes rolling back into your head as you hit all the right spots is enough to send him over the edge . if you get tired while on top , draco will gladly hold your hips in place , fucking up into you until you practically collapse into him , entirely taken over by the force of your orgasm.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

intimacy is something that didn’t come easy for you and draco; he’d never been with someone that he actually loved before you . there was a deep intensity to the emotions shared between you two during sex , and draco viewed that time between the both of you as something almost sacred . foreplay , or just general teasing can be silly with you two , but making love is more serious .

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

draco keeps himself trimmed , but not entirely clean shaven , and the hair down there is darker than his signature white-blond locs .

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

(refer back to g but i could talk about this for days) draco is incredibly romantic when it comes to sex . your first time was like something out of a movie - draco had lit candles everywhere , filling the room with soft , flickering light , as well as changing the sheets on your bed to a soft , white cotton . he’d taken his time making you comfortable ; you and draco had talked through all your fears for hours before he laid a hand on you . once you were ready , draco’s touches had been soft and slow and tender all over your body - he’d made you feel like the angel you were . quickly , you learned that draco wasn’t like that just because it had been your first time ; draco made an effort to make sex just as special every time.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

draco was raised thinking that masturbation was a shameful act , something dirty and below him (you literally can not tell me that this isn't true i'll fight it until the day i die . as much as i love narcissa the malfoy family fkn sucks and they damaged draco so bad . anyways) so it’s very rare that he’ll get himself off. when he does , its somewhere where he can quickly get rid of the evidence , such as the shower .

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

while draco makes sex between you two meaningful and special , that doesn’t mean that he’s afraid to be rough (after yall have had a long talk about it before where you gave him enthusiastic consent ofc . )

draco loves to pull your hair or wrap a hand around your throat while he’s hitting it from the back , so much so that he’ll bring your back up to his chest .

he really enjoys a bit of light choking here and there - just enough to watch your pretty face flush with blood , making your moans the slightest bit weaker .

draco loves to tie your hands up above your head while he’s eating you out as well ; it makes you take all the pleasure he’s willing to give , and he lives for the way your body writhes and bucks under his skillful tongue.

you literally can not tell me that draco doesn’t have a praise kink - both giving and receiving . draco loves to tell you how good of a job your doing whether you're sucking him off or taking all of him inside you , and he’s constantly reassuring you that you’re doing such a good job.

however

he fucking loves when you praise him as well (my theory as to why is so fkn sad so we wont go over that here) but that boy lives for you telling him how good he’s making you feel , and when you encourage him nodding and whining for him to go faster . its the one thing that undoes him almost immediately , and he flushes furiously every time you tell him just how fantastic he’s doing .

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

you and draco rarely get it on outside of your bedrooms at hogwarts , or your childhood rooms when you’re home for the summer - but there’s an exception to every rule. draco has absolutely ruined you in the quidditch changing rooms after a rather brutal loss , and he’s the king of shower sex , too.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

praise !! draco loves you telling him how good his dick feels , or his tongue , or his hands . he also appreciates when you’re rather direct with him - telling draco exactly where you want him , what you want him to do - it drives him absolutely insane . hearing such dirty words come from your sweet , innocent mouth kills him , and it makes draco that much more excited.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there's nothing draco wouldn’t try at least once , but he’s rather uncomfortable with voyeurism. he hates the idea of anyone else seeing your body , watching how you wriggle and whine underneath him as he makes you cum . while the two of you have done it in some questionable locations , draco had made sure that no one could see .

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

while draco loves your mouth wrapped around him , that boy could spend all day between your legs . he's nothing short of obsessed with eating you out , and its one of his favorite things to do for you . he cant help the way it makes him feel - hearing you whimper and moan while you pull on his hair , your back arching off the bed when his tongue flicks in just the right way . he gets a sort of high from it , and absolutely prides himself on making you cum with just his tongue .

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it really depends on the day . draco loves fucking you slow , watching his manhood slide in and out of your pretty body coated in your arousal , but he cant resist fucking you so hard he leaves bruises , either . if its just a regular day , the two of you fall somewhere in between , a perfect mix of rough and sweet .

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

draco loves a good quickie every once in a while ! sometimes he needs a release , and your body is his favorite vessel . usually quickies are where the two of you get a little more risky - he’ll grab your arm , pulling you into an empty classroom or the shower and take you then and there .

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and no . draco would try anything and everything , especially if you asked him to , but there are some things that are a one-and-done for him . the two of you are good at talking about that stuff - if something made one of you uncomfortable , the other would understand 100% . its all about the balance of boundaries and still being adventurous.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

draco would fuck you all day if you would let him . he can make you cum many , many times before he’ll allow himself to even get close , and even then his stamina is through the roof . he can go at least 3 rounds if not more , and switch positions as many times as you’d like .

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

while draco doesn’t mind you using toys on yourself , they do make him slightly jealous . you gently tease him about this sometimes , how he works himself into a sulk over an inanimate object - however, that usually leads to your hands tied to his headboard , draco holding a vibrator on your clit until you can’t take anymore orgasms.

you two have expirimented with using your vibrator during sex , but draco much prefers playing with your clit over using an outside source , and seretly , you do too . he’s amazing with his hands , and rubs tight , fast circles onto your sensitive nub while his hips snap against yours only intensifying the sensation .

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

draco loves to tease you - he likes to watch the way you come undone under the slightest touches of his hands . very rarely does he tease you for long - he can’t resist giving you what you want , what you’re begging him for in that high , breathy voice .

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s a loud motherfucker all the time , and the bedroom is no exception . draco’s moans are music to your ears , and they turn you on more than anything . his already rough voice only gets raspier , and deeper , too . he loves to talk dirty to you , but as he approaches his orgasm , he can barely form full sentences . his cocky pillow talk turns to almost desperate moans and whimpers as his thrusts get sloppier and quicker , his hips snapping against yours hard . his groans as he cums are heavenly , especially since he’s usually buried his head in your neck or dropped his forehead to yours by then .

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

we all know that draco have a superiority / god complex (as he should 😌) , and this manifests in the bedroom - you would’ve never known , though , if it weren’t for a complete accident . you and draco had been studying together , and he’d asked one of the yes or no questions written on a flashcard . not thinking about your actions , you’d answered the question with “no, sir” - then physically felt draco’s entire body stiffen underneath you . you’d picked up on it immediately , blood flooding your face as you’d asked him if he liked it .

yes , he did .

he loves when you call him sir as he’s fucking the life out of you - like , he has to stop himself from cumming on the spot .

when you want to fuck with him for whatever reason , you’ll jokingly call him ‘sir’ in front of your friends

you’ll pay for it later , though

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

mans is built in every sense of the word . draco is quite well endowed , which was something that took you a bit to get used to . he was never one to measure - it just seemed wrong to him , like he was doing something dirty - but by your estimations , draco is about 7 inches . he’s thicker than most , too , which only adds to your pleasure .

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

draco lives in a constant state of horny™ . he can’t help it - something about you brings out his most primal instincts . he’s so in love with you and your body that he can rarely keep his hands off of it , but he knows how to control himself . he tries to match your sex drive ; when yours is high , his is too , but he doesn’t mind waiting on you to give him the green light if you’re libido has been lower .

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

its safe to say that the both of you are extremley tired after sex - its quite the workout . draco is so soft once he’s finished , and he would live in that post-sex haze forever if he could ; he’s all sweet kisses and skin-to-skin contact , but he’ll usually wait until you fall asleep on him before he can drift off . something about making sure that you’re comfortable enough to sleep on him fills draco with a sense of immense pride . once you’ve fallen asleep, depending on how vigorous everything was , draco will usually fade pretty soon after ; on the off chance that he still has some energy , draco stays up and watches you . he looks at you as if you were a piece of art , usually following the soft lines and curves of your face with a gentle finger ; admiring you like the angel you are .

#draco #malfoy #dracomalfoy #draco malfoy #hp #alphabet #oneshot #blurb #request #ns/fw alphabet

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rosiehufflepuff · 3 years

Text

Headcanon : Hufflepuff -fem - and Slytherin(or DRACO ) go to book fair in muggle world

Hufflepuff ran to Slytherin in excitement almost tripping over million of stuff -SLYTHERIN!!!!!!!!!-

Slytherin almost having a heart attack watching Hufflepuff running to him -DUMMY U ALMOST BROKE EACH PART OF UR BODY NOW!!-

Hufflepuff shoves a poster in the boy face. Explaining how she got it from her half blood friend however as soon as he saw it , the expression changed to disgust in a sec - …….muggle …….stuff?- -NOOO IT ISNT ANY MUGGLE STUFF ! IT IS BOOK FAIR!!-

Hufflepuff kept whining to Slytherin about how it is amazing !! And how they need to go !! Cuz all the book they dreamt of , was there !!!

- Hufflepuff ….you wanna me to go , wait In line …. and rub elbows with muggles …?!! Aho .. UNFORTUNATE.....I DONT DO THAT !!- waving Hufflepuff away as he talked with full disbelieve

Frowning at Slytherin who was admiring his thousands something Galleons rings in his fingers , she gets hit by idea !! grinning as Cheshire , she opens her mouth with the most wicked thing that can hit her fav Slytherin - oooookay as you wanna ….I’m going to ask Gryffindor to come I’m confident that he would love it soooooo much -

Knowing the impact of the word “ Gryffindor “ on the boy , she speaks it out as his blood boils and his eyes shot up large , NAH UH !!! NO WAY HE IS HANDING HER , ON A BLOODY GOLD PLATTER TO THIS ANNOYING “STAR KID “ !!!!

-NO I CHANGED MY MIND !!! - smiling cheerfully more than she should be , she learned that her fav Slytherin wouldn’t take the concept of Gryffindor replacing him , now with determination asking about everything , they settled about “ the mudblood event “, according to the dramatic boy words .

The next day they go to their meeting area ( where no Slytherin can see cuz “ the status “ ) , as Huff reaches ,she drop her jaw at the Slytherin , she can’t help but stare at his attire

-are you done staring? - Slytherin couldn't help but rub his face in attempts in trying to cover his blush at her gaping -what the hell…… are you wearing ….? - the Slytherin blinks at Hufflepuff , what kind of concern is that ??? - uhhhh…..clothes ??-

as cunning as Slytherin can be , he is not reading between the lines as the girly hoped so -ummm but it is just a book fair …that is kind of fancy... Don't you think?? -

Slytherin couldn't help but roll his eyes hard, that he swears to merlin !!! that he almost saw his brain at the word “ fancy “ , him going to the muggle world doesn’t mean he need to look unpresentable !!!

He sigh as he explains to Hufflepuff how that is not fancy and that is ordinary

Hufflepuff blinks non stop looking at the definition of a “ ordinary look” of the boy in front of her, then she shifts her eyes at herself and her very casual outfit

-we look as odd as night and day …- Hufflepuff whispers to herself however the words didn't pass the strong ear of the boy in front of her , leading to sharp scowl at the words ..........at how she thinks of them with this huge contrast , he despises that !! “-are we going or not - by this words , Hufflepuff and Slytherin go to the Muggle world .

As both are waiting in line , million of adoring eyes is staring very hard and non stop at the wealthy blonde boy in full black , all this happening next to our Hufflepuff , she couldn't help but think -wow I feel like I’m standing next a celebrity .....the whole realm is staring ...- as she took a fast glimpse to the icy Slytherin next to her - i feel like a standing mosquito next to a butterfly ............ or would it be Scorpio though ..............GAH!! still TT -

Hufflepuff couldn’t help but think of that ! ....merlin … she swears she saw people are flushing red just by looking at the Slytherin!!

Slytherin was getting so fed up with these gazes by the minute passing, no matter how much he bloody glared , they didn't stop , in the very unlikeness , they seemed to like it !!! what is wrong with these mudbloods!!!

.........but he kind of liked the attention…… he wont admit it tho... but still it was his time with Hufflepuff !! FUCK OFF !!

As they enter finally….. to Slytherin knees ……they almost fell off…. …. the warm female grabs his hand saying she doesn't wanna lose him in the mid of the moving crowd, very oblivious to the effect that she has on his heart doing “all odd stuff “ according to him, he has to visit a healer about that issue ….

Hufflepuff can’t stop running around the store going all wild and jumpy about all the books she is seeing from continuing of books either her or Slytherin has or new one she heard about -SLY DID YOU SEE THAT !! -SLY U NEED TO CHECK THIS !!”

on the other hand sly was just keeping eye on her while checking slowly the shelves himself , giving her a hum from time to time , as he tries to find anything he likes .

finding a book with weird cover , he starts to run his gazes through the first pages of his new found treasure , knowing that he got at least something from this mud blood world , his eyes look up for his Hufflepuff .

-Hufflepuff I’m getting this book - as he searches with his gaze range , his intense eyes couldn't find a trace of her , almost giving him a minor panic attack , he calls for her again .

panic and anger at himself taking over , He storms to the nearest worker and grab them by arm giving them a glare with venom dripping with each word -look here I had a girl with me and she is gone ! ........I swear if you didn’t find her I’m going to show you what a bloody nightmare really Is .......that you wish you were-“

before continuing the venom , Hufflepuff warm voice cut Slytherin icy tone , and also probably saving the worker from getting a scare or hexed .

Slytherin turns to Hufflepuff as he calms down his panic ,however his emotions of being upset speak up in form of -where were ya ?!!” with a sigh , the girl in yellow explains that she told him that she is going to bathroom but it seems that he didn’t hear ,

her eyes moves to the worker that is being held as prisoner by the Slytherin , you request him to leave the poor worker arm as people started to group up to attend the drama , giving the best Hufflepuff smile she can, apologizing to the worker saying that her friend wasn’t used to going out much , excusing herself as she dragged the Slytherin to corner in the dark till the heat of the mummers go off

-why are you apologizing!! You did nothing wrong !!- -SHHH-

after some time of both sitting in the corner and calming Slytherin anxiety , both went to collect the the chosen books and as they are walking out

-see I came and behaved too , now u will read me the book I chose !! - Slytherin teases Hufflepuff as she rolls her eyes - yeah except you almost gave a heart attack to poor Muggle ! You will read it yourself !!- as she walk before the Slytherin sulking behind

——————

HIIIIIII!! So this my first time ever doing something like that !! I could not decide on draco x hufflepuff or slytherin x hufflepuff!!so both I guess ?!

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

hello!!! i'd like to request a piece of 🍰 please <3 apologies for incoming info dump about my Entire Life :| & thank u so much darling!

basic information — i use she/her and i'm bisexual, an infj, and a scorpio. a yachi kinnie :)

appearance — i'm a 5'0 asian girl with long black hair and dyed caramel tips! my body type is petit and skinny - lack of butt, unfortunately, but i got some tibby! overall im pretty tiny and always look younger than my age lol. i also wear glasses because i am Very Near Sighted, and my clothing style is a weird mix between cutesy-pastel-female-kpop-idol fits, indie teenage girl, and faux cottagecore.

personality — i'm a rather introverted person, but i'm trying my best to work on that. i have depression, anxiety, and adhd, but i'm always telling myself uplifting things and trying to work on my mindsets, so i'd like to say that i'm also sincere and compassionate! i'm also very adaptable and easily influenced by the behaviors of people around me. i think at first impression, i look standoffish and judgemental, but i think it's because i lack the confidence to say what i think and express my emotions, which i'm also working on! once i'm comfortable, i think i'm a very funny, intelligent, and caring person (i'm an extremely sensitive person and receptive to others' emotions — i cried a LOT watching karasuno v shiratorizawa 😐), but i can also tease and be a little sarcastic if the relationship calls for it. i get very affectionate and touchy with close friends too! long story short - i might seem awkward and quiet, but give me a moment— i'm trying, and i'll get there eventually, and i think that'll be worth waiting for. :)

hobbies — i like to do visual art things, like sketch pretty anime boys and also cross-stitch and make calligraphy! i'm a bullet-journaler :) i also love love LOVE learning languages and about different cultures, especially asian ones. i think i'm a pretty studious person when i get into it but i do procrastinate a lot T____T i'm also super into playing genshin impact, but i easily hop interests, so one day i'll be on this and the next, it's something else i'm rambling about. get ready to get ur ear talked off about wtv i love that week <3

likes + dislikes — i like anime, bts (!!), and otome games :> i also enjoy desserts, boba tea, flowers, and sudoku puzzles 🥺 i'm also a lover of learning, asian cultures, and dogs (also cats, but mostly dogs!) <3 i reallllyyyyyy want a pet snake one day too 🥺 family is also very important to me because i'm the youngest of 7 children! i dislike spiders snd working out (seriously the last person to want to do any type of fitness). all that "moving" jazz... volleyball is the only sport i'll probably ever even bother to learn the rules of LMAO but do not expect me to play i will eat the floor </3 my arms are sticks and i will simply embarrass myself

what i want/need in a relationship — i have a pretty idealistic idea of romance - i want someone perfect, but i know that's not realistic. at the very least, i want someone who loves me very much and is honest about that. they also need to let me be affectionate and clingy, and will be the same way back, even if it's just a little bit. i'm someone who needs love and affirmation rather consistently, like a freaking plant. i NEED someone who'll make sure i'm doing things and being productive, and someone who will actively encourage me to both be a better person mentally and physically get things done. they also should be able to take care of me (i'm a youngest child so i like being babied~) <3

this is very long, apologies! thank you so much for your wonderful matchups, they're so detailed and you work very hard on them, i can tell. thank you for your hard work!! kisses 4 u! <3

@mochiiswan ok I see you stealing my husband from me 🥲

Romantic Matchup

Bokuto Koutarou

How yall met

Girl you were just having a bad day

Nothing seemed to be going right

So you showed up for school in a rather gloomy mood

Bokuto didn't know you

But he still didn't like how sad you seemed

So he approached you

He basically just started making small talk to try to cheer you up

You dont know why but his energy did seem to be having a positive effect on you

Bokuto really liked talking to you

And he was glad he was able to cheer you up

The bell had rung signaling it was time to go to class

But bokuto didn't wanna leave you

So he asked if you wanted to come watch his volleyball practice after school

You agreed to go

You went to his practice and bokuto found himself trying to impress you

He didn't know why

Wait...

“AKAASHI I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH”

😳

Yeah he straight up yelled that…

While you were in there…

After a quick advice break from akaashi

He asked you out on a date :)))

What they love about you

He loves that you try to improve yourself

It's one thing to have issues

But to acknowledge those issues and to want to fix them truly makes a strong person

So he loves that you love yourself enough to improve on yourself

And he WILL help you in any way he can

Eek

He loves how sensitive you are

Bb boy is sensitive too

So he's glad he's found someone to cry with when a dog dies in a movie

(Also do any of you cry when a dog dies but doesn't when a human does? No? Just me?)

He loves how you value family

Im convinced bokuto is a family man

He loves his parents and his sisters more than anything

So he's glad he's found someone with the same values as him

HE LOVES HOW CLINGY YOU ARE

DO NOT EVEN HESITATE WITH THIS BOY

You can't tell me ocultos love language isn't physical touch

Come on now

LOOK AT HIM

You will get all the physical affection you could ever dream of

Favorite things to do together

Ok hear me out

He just likes going to the pound…

And looking at the animals with you

and/or

He likes volunteering at the animal shelter with you

You+cute animals=happy bokuto

Random HC

You drew him doing a spike once and he bout cried

Keeps the drawing in his phone case and pulls it out to brag

You take me as a hopeless romantic

And good news for you

Bokutos a hopeless romantic too :)

So your relationship is the closest to perfect relationships can get

He 100% keeps you on track

Mans is like a personal trainer istg

However don't expect to be productive with him around...

He did try to get you to play volleyball

And you did in fact eat the floor </3

Astrology

When Virgo and Scorpio join together in a love match, these Signs that are two apart in the Zodiac are brought together.

Their placement gives the relationship an intense karmic bond

The Virgo-Scorpio couple is loyal and deep, with very strong ties.

Virgo and Scorpio enjoy working together toward acquisition: Virgo wants order and Scorpio wants power.

Both of these Signs are about resources, including inheritances and property.

This couple is very service-oriented and known to be dependable.

They like to lend a hand to a friend or to the community.

Additionally, Virgo can be withdrawn — while Scorpio is more opaque and outgoing.

Because of the disparity, both Signs can learn from one another if they can agree to meet halfway.

Virgo is ruled by Mercury and Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Pluto.

This combination is very heated, thanks to Pluto’s influence.

The two Signs unite to form the basic foundation of human relationships — Mercury’s communication and Mars’s passion.

Mercury and Mars go well together; Mercury is about the conscious mind, and Mars is about the passion of romance.

Scorpio is rambunctious and intense, and Virgo is attracted to this energy.

In turn, Scorpio needs the loyalty and practicality inherent in Virgo.

Overall Aesthetic

Pastelcore

Songs-

Are you bored yet - wallows

Strawberry Mentos - Leanna Firestone

Hey Lover - Wabie

Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto x y/n #bokuto koutarou x y/n #bokuto #bokuto headcanons #bokuto hc

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cvastals · 3 years

Text

look i kno i said i wasnt gna bring a 6th until i was caught up w replies bt i kno gunner well n therefore felt like he deserved his time to shine in the rp so i beg of u pls plot w him looks at u all like :B

* axel auriant, cis man + he/him | you know gunner paxton, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole curling up for days in bed wearing a hello kitty comfort shirt, stuttering in the face of affection, and hand me downs two sizes too big thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 31st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( bri, 23, est, they/them )

background.

middle child of the paxton family, cliff being the eldest and wyatt being the youngest :D

they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved

the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh

gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament

(depression/anxiety tw) he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder

(violence/abuse tw) their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad

(missing child/kidnapping/anxiety/depression tw) wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there, high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, cliff left home in the middle of the night never to be seen again (merely leaving a note so that the family didn’t think they had a case of two kidnapped children), and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping

the two years that gunner was at home after cliff left were pretty brutal and as soon as he could, he was fleeing wyoming and going to school in irving

(internalized homophobia tw) things are far better now that he’s out of his home situation, but ofc he still has a few personal things he’s working thru; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly

he’s also ‘dealing’ rn (just pharmaceuticals) which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight all things considering and a librarian job doesn’t rly cover it, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!

details.

is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic

u can catch him strutting around town w his blinged out epipen holder (aka blinged out w pins of his fav horrors movies) LKSHDGKLHSKLDG

if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times

n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes

awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like he barely knows how to converse with ppl

didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 30 seconds, just extremely weird and specific things

can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno - has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms

loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after

going off that fact he did a film internship in nyc during the summer and is trying to find a job in that field

doesn’t realize demisexuality is a thing so he’s never been that fond of sex but has this stigma in his mind that that makes him Broken so he still Tries n it jst doesnt go well tugs my shirt collar

connections.

ppl who r more into under the counter meds than Hard Drugs n buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms

ppl he went to school w? :D

some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………

ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat he crushes quite easily but never does anything abt it fr the most part

a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht he actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)

some enemies tbh, he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG

a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects

awkward past hook ups/one night stands where one of them cut ties off cuz every time they got together gunner acted like he was embalming a body for a funeral

current hook ups/fwb’s w ppl he’s actually close w/is comfortable w so its nowhere near as bad SDKHSLDGHKLSDGH

Anything u Desire

#irvingintro #depression tw #anxiety tw #violence tw #abuse tw #missing child tw #kidnapping tw #internalized homophobia tw #tugs my shirt collar at all those tws............. SLKDHGLKHSDGKLHSDKLGHSDG #as per usual i didnt proofread lets all pray bri didnt make a mistake.

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