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sorcerersseestars · 1 year

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synopsis: Gojo blames you for the first-years' disaster that the higher-ups caused.

pairing: Gojo Satoru x gn! reader

genre: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff

warnings: mention of death/a corpse, yelling, heavy feelings of self-blame, stuttering (it makes sense here tho I promise), emotionally constipated Gojo, mention of not eating for an extended period of time/being hungry (due to the situation), manga spoilers!! (star plasma vessel arc), indirect confessions

word count: 5.2k

notes: There are some slightly non-canon details. I’m pretty sure that Nanami and Yuji don’t know each other at this point, but let’s pretend they do. Also, I’m insinuating a more seasoned bond between Gojo and Yuji/reader and Yuji - let’s also pretend that they’ve been teaching Yuji for longer at this point, for more angst potential. :) LAST THING - you used to be a very mediocre child/adolescent actor in a few small/bad films. Only relevant for one detail.

Also, Gojo may be a bit ooc here - possibly overdramatic in his wordings - but I really wanted to write a Gojo that loses control of his emotions, since I think it'd be difficult to elicit such a reaction from him. I hope it suits him okay!!

GOJO HAS ALWAYS had a soft spot for you. In high school, he would regularly volunteer himself to take your blame, even though you never asked him to do it and would practically begged him not to. But, he was frustratingly persistent and would do it despite your many protests. If you ever cheated on an assignment, Gojo would claim he copied yours. If you fumbled during a mission, Gojo would lie in the report. If you both snuck out and got caught, Gojo would say he dragged you out with force. Whenever you would have an argument with someone, Gojo would comfort you afterwards, insisting the other person was in the wrong even when they obviously weren’t.

Although he has eventually ramped down this ridiculous treatment over the years, you will never forget this boyish idiosyncrasy from your younger days.

Today, however, it’s like those days never even existed. You don't recognize the person standing in front of you. You can’t blame him for his reaction – it's wholly natural – but it still jars you.

Today, you fucked up. You fucked up so badly that there's a very permanent, unchangeable consequence to your actions – or rather, your lack thereof. The consequence of your stupidity, the result of your thoughtlessness, lies unmoving in this room. The body of Itadori Yuji, separated from reality only by the thin plastic covering of a body bag, rests on a table only feet from where you stand.

His mentor, one sworn to protecting his students, sworn to delaying his impending execution as much as possible, stands before you. His signature blindfold obscures his eyes, and you can only imagine the wild, swirling gaze you would be faced with in its absence.

Yuji’s mentor – your long time close friend, who has never blamed you in any great capacity for anything through the entirety of your friendship – now looks at you scathingly.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He spits, tone icy.

He's not looking at you as he rigidly hovers over the operating table, but you can feel the intensity of his emotions despite the distance. Words fall out of your brain, and you struggle to string together a cohesive thought.

“I-" You try to swallow the lump in your throat. “The higher-ups told me not to go with them, I don’t know wh–"

He barks out a harsh laugh, cutting off your pathetic excuse. His head is in his hands, fingers roughly carding through his disheveled hair. He pauses in his ministrations to face you: he is suddenly towering over you, broad frame filling even the corners of your vision.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” He growls. “Did you stop to think for even a second? Why would they ever ask a teacher to stay behind?”

Tears begin to slide down you cheeks. You quickly wipe them away and will your building urge to break down to go away.

He sighs, his breath leaving him loudly and aggressively. “I don’t understand how this happened. You know how this works, (Y/N)! You know how the higher-ups are!”

“I’m sorry,” You choke out quietly, voice stretched and thin. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t bring him back, (Y/N)!” Gojo shouts.

Shoko and Ijichi are silent. Shoko is looking at the ground, her stony expression difficult to determine. Shoko, your friend who always sticks up for you no matter what, especially when dealing with Gojo. Shoko, who hasn’t spoken a single word to you since you arrived. For once, she agrees with him.

Your eyes land on the black body bag laying on the operating table, and you can’t hold it back any longer. Your legs weaken underneath you and you begin to shake. The sobs you’ve been suppressing rip out of your throat. Ugly, choking sobs.

Nobody moves to comfort you. If anything, Gojo’s scowl deepens, and Shoko turns away at your display of emotion.

“I know,” You sob. “I know it doesn’t. I know it's my fault.”

You take a few shaky breaths. “I didn’t know- I didn’t mean for it to happen- I- it’s my fault.”

He slides his blindfold down, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. You are about to blurt something else out, but before the words can leave your tongue, you catch his gaze and you’re immediately frozen. His boiling blue irises steal your breath and leave you rooted to the spot. Never in your life have you seen him this angry or even display this much emotion.

“If you keep standing there and crying, I think I’m going to kill something,” He says lowly.

“Gojo,” Shoko interjects in a warning tone.

Gojo bites back, “Why not? We all want the higher-ups gone. It’d be so easy. Shit like this wouldn’t happen anymore.”

Ijichi pales. Shoko roughly says, “Are you crazy?”

He doesn’t answer, and the determined look on his face isn’t necessarily comforting. It seems a storm is brewing – the most powerful sorcerer is being driven to a point.

You’re reaching a point, too – your breaking point. You feel like you can’t breathe. When you inhale, your lungs refuse to inflate past the shallowest of breaths. It’s all hitting you now, clear thoughts rising past the fog of adrenaline that overwhelmed your mind. The reality is that you fucked up, and it’s not fixable.

You fucked up, and there’s no going back in time to change your decision, to go against orders to stay with your students. There’s no way to bring Yuji back.

“Why are you still here?” Gojo says with an exasperated huff, addressing you directly. “Seeing you only adds to my anger.”

You say nothing, your mind occupied only with your regrets. He frowns and tries again.

"Unless you want to dive further into this preventable death," He says coldly. "Leave. There's still a job to be done.”

You barely hear his words. Your brain doesn’t have the energy to collect them, to interpret them, as it hyper-fixates on the horrible hole forming in your heart. Your eyes are wide, pupils enlarged, and you are visibly quivering.

“Didn’t you hear me? You need to leave!” Gojo growls, frustrated at your lack of reaction, believing it to be indifference.

“They must be in shock, Gojo,” Shoko murmurs. “They’re shutting down.”

Shoko’s diagnosis is indeed correct. You don’t hear a single word that comes out of their mouths; your shoulders and heart have grown heavy, leaden, from knowing the fate you led your students to. One deceased, two severely injured. All because of a risk you did not take, an order you did not disobey.

Yuji’s bright smile burns into the back of your eyes, a reminder of what you’ve lost, of the ultimate mistake.

One second, your eyes are on the black body bag, and the next second you can’t see anything, your vision blurred by tears and by speed. You’re running, you realize, legs pumping as fast as they can. Your lungs ache and your legs cramp up, but you can’t will yourself to stop. You can’t think. You can’t catch your breath.

When you inevitably collapse, you don’t know where you are or how much time has passed. It’s just a patch of grass damp with dew, a few maple trees dotting the banks of a small neighboring stream. You’re laying under one of these trees, your arms outstretched so your fingers can comb through the cool, wet blades of grass. You’re vaguely aware the the sun set at some point after you left. Maybe it’s been a hour, or a few more. You have no idea.

You want to scream, you want to cry, but you don’t. You can’t; it won’t come. When his grinning face and determined smile taunt you, reminding you of your sins, you can only screw your eyes shut, willing the torture to end.

Wetness finally runs down your face, and you taste salt. It is oddly comforting. Your hands repeatedly grab the gentle grass, numbing your mind until exhaustion eventually overtakes you.

There’s a buzzing filling your brain. You groan and roll over, reaching out to your bedside table to grab the offending object. You startle at the feeling of sharp gravel under your fingertips – it’s unpleasantly damp, as well, leaving muddy residue on your hands.

The buzzing starts again, and this time you clearly feel the vibrations through your leg. You sit up, scooting back until your back firmly hits the tree trunk behind you, and force your tired eyelids to part. You have to squint, as the sun has already risen and has crossed the sky a fair amount – it must be approaching noon already.

When the buzzing persists, you grumpily rip the phone out of your pocket. It’s not an alarm, as you had expected. In fact, you startle at the caller ID: Gojo Satoru.

You stare at your phone blankly, your brain buffering. You ultimately let it ring out, although your finger hovers over the answer button. Once the screen fades to your usual background, your throat goes dry. Missed calls from Shoko, Nanami, and Gojo fill your screen. You quickly skim the accompanying texts and wince.

Shoko <3: I know we’re all upset, but we shouldn’t have taken it out on you…just let me know you’re alright, okay? (10:43 pm)

‘Nanamin’: I heard what happened. It isn’t your fault, (Y/N), no matter what anyone says. Call me if you need anything. (6:26 am)

Satoru: Where are you? (11:34 pm)

Satoru: Pick up (11:59 pm)

Satoru: please (12:03 am)

Satoru: I fucked up. I need to talk to you, please let me (12:05 am)

Satoru: I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but let someone, anyone, know you’re alright… (7:12 am)

Satoru: Megumi just told me he tried to visit you but you still weren’t home. (Y/N), please…say anything…I need to know that you’re okay (11:17 am)

It all rushes back to you: your lethal mistake, the deserved reaction you received from your two best friends, how you shamefully ran away. Fuck. There’s no way you can face any of them, especially not Megumi.

You wish this never happened. Hot tears burn your cheeks again; your eyes flood with regret. Shame quickly floods through you, making you feel hot all over. How can you feel sorry for yourself when it was your fault in the first place?

You roughly wipe your face with your sleeve and stick your phone back into your pocket. There’s no way you can respond right now. It’s bound to die soon, anyway, so there’s no point in trying.

You don’t want to move from where you sit. You want to sink into the ground and stay there until the horrible feeling inside you goes away. But…

“What if it doesn’t?” You whisper those words out into the universe, a sinking feeling in your gut telling you the answer.

You want to cry more, allow yourself to shed more tears, but you don’t. You wobbly stand up, and are surprised at how weak you are. When was the last time you ate – yesterday morning, before the disastrous mission?

You have to go home. You can’t stay here, in the middle of nowhere, neglecting yourself. It’s a thought that rings in your head and won’t leave you alone until you decide to listen. Okay. You will go home. You can manage that.

It takes a while, but you find your way back to your apartment. Last night, you had apparently meandered into an expanse of empty land neighboring the school, as you pass by Jujutsu Tech on your way back. It is a bit off the beaten path – you doubt anyone has ever intentionally gone where you ended up last night.

During your journey home, you have to reference your Google Maps app a few times, but you somehow successfully get back home, despite your directional challenges and weakened state.

Until you step into your apartment, you don’t realize how cold you are. Your feet are numb from being cold and wet, your toes icy when you peel the damp socks off. You cringe at how unaware you have been at your body for the past 24 hours: your mental state ignored all physical needs.

Your stumble to your bedroom, aching body screaming for a rest. You relent easily, collapsing on your bed face first. You’re so grimy and covered in remnants of the dirt bed you laid in last night, evidence of your outside stay covering your clothing. Bits of twigs and leaves invite themselves into your sheets – you couldn’t care less right now, though. You don’t even think about it.

On instinct, you plug your dead phone in without even looking. There’s silence for a minute or two before it whirs back to life, the screen flashing at your tired eyes.

There’s another message waiting to be opened.

Megumi: Come back soon, sensei. He’s getting unsufferable

Megumi:…more than usual

A hoarse chuckle leaves your throat, the first laugh that’s left you since the whole incident. You sigh immediately after though, as you begin to wonder how Megumi has been dealing with everything. If you hadn’t run away, then…

Your head is in your hands again. No matter what path your thinking strays down, you keep returning to your immense guilt over what happened.

You wish you were mad at someone. You wish that you felt angry at Gojo, but you aren’t – you can’t be. In your eyes, he wasn’t wrong; how could you be mad at him when you agree?

You’re not mad, but there’s this other unpleasant feeling. It feels like one of Nobara’s nails has been lodged in your chest, and every time you think about his reaction, the nail twists a little deeper into your heart. He’s never yelled at you before. That hurt.

It’s understandable, but it still hurts.

Gojo…You don’t think you can face him yet, but he may come to you if your radio silence continues. Maybe you should just get it over with and call him. You can just tell him you’re alive and hang up. That should suffice.

Without thinking further on it, you grab your phone and dial his number. Within two rings, the line connects.

“Yo, (Y/N)! Long time no hear!” His chirpy voice booms through your speakers. He’s back to his usual self – overly casual and full of mirth. He sounds way too cheerful; it throws you off guard.

A sharp inhale leaves you as you’re about to tell him that you’re fine and to not worry, so that you can hang up and avoid him. But, nothing comes out. Everything you thought of saying flies out of your brain. You’re left wordless, mouth hanging open.

“You there? (Y/N)?”

You shake your head, coming to your senses.

“Yes,” The single word that leaves you is weak and breathy.

“You good? Are you home now?”

“Yeah. Home now. I’m alive, so no need to bother checking in on me,” You say thoughtlessly.

God, that was lame. You can’t help but cringe at what you just said. It’s what you intended to convey, yes, but that’s not how you wanted to say it.

“Just alive? Sounds real peppy over there!” He chuckles. “I was going to come over anyway, but you’ve really pushed it over the edge.”

“Ah,” You say somewhat panicked, searching for a way out of this. “There’s really no need. I just need rest so there’s no need. I’ll see you later, then.”

“You mean soon!” He chirps before you can hang up. You groan into your pillow; this is exactly what you had been trying to avoid. How are you even going to look at him?

You’ve just put your phone back on your nightstand when there’s sudden footsteps approaching your bedroom. Before you can think further, the door is flung upon and a familiar figure appears before you.

“Ultimate best friend Gojo Satoru has arrived! Everyone applaud!”

A series of small claps ensues, while you just stare on in silence and disgruntlement. A wide smile stretches across his face at your displeased expression.

“C’mon angel, not even a single clap? That’s cold.”

You roll your eyes, but only half-heartedly. The gesture is so pathetically slight that Gojo’s smile falls a fraction. You don’t have much emotional energy to expend on humoring him, it seems. Because of him.

It’s then that he fully takes in your appearance. Tear stained cheeks, dirt caking your clothes and body, scraps of organic material matted in your hair and clinging to all parts of you. There’s even smudges of dirt around your eyes where you’ve attempted to wipe away tears.

He questions your appearance, trying to appear lighthearted, “Was the forest calling you? You really didn’t sleep here?”

You immediately feel self-conscious of your appearance and cross your arms. You manage out a quiet, “Something like that.”

“No, seriously…where did you sleep?” He probes, this time lacking the lightheaded tone.

A weak, sheepish smile appears on your lips, “Ah…the ground? You were right, I guess.”

He blinks. You rub the back of your head and avoid eye contact, softly laughing an awkward little chuckle.

“Seriously?” He asks, but it lacks any judgment. He is truly just in disbelief.

You just nod.

“Hey, are you…are you sure you’re okay?”

You weren’t expecting that. You wish he would stay in his childish mindset – these real questions are worse.

You breathe out slowly, “I mean…yeah. I’m fine.”

It’s not a very convincing delivery, but it was the best you could manage. The corners of his lips turn down slightly, almost unnoticeably, but he doesn’t comment on your answer. He knows he should question you further, dig a little deeper, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he excuses himself, “I’ll be right back. Just stay put! I’ll know if you move, so you better not move an inch.”

He raises two fingers to his eyes, then directs them to you, clearly saying ‘I have my eyes on you!’

It’s amusing - he’s always amusing - but when you try to smile, your lips just flatline. You can’t tell if he notices, since he has already turned away and walked into the bathroom, but you hope he couldn’t tell.

When he returns, he’s holding a dampened washcloth.

“Bath time!” He says, shaking the cloth excitedly in front of you. You flinch a little as a few stray drops of water unexpectedly land on you, which he lightly laughs at.

And then he begins swiping away the dirt that has accumulated on your body. He starts with your face. He’s on his knees, one elbow resting on the space neighboring your right thigh, leaning in to have more control with the cloth. You close your eyes when his face comes within inches of yours - too close. Even when you feel as horrible as you do now, your heart won’t stop thumping quickly against your ribs, as if it cannot deny those deeply hidden feelings you harbor.

He hums while he works, gently dabbing all the places where you have visible dirt. It’s comforting, or at least it should be. You heart begins to clench tightly, and you so badly want a hole to appear in the ground to swallow you up.

“Gojo, why are you being so nice now?” You ask, voice small. “I don’t really deserve it. I’d…prefer the alternative. This feels wrong right now.”

He sets down the cloth, wincing at your pitiful words. Is that how you really feel?

He pauses. He’s not good at this sort of thing – acknowledging other people’s vulnerability, lowering his own walls to empathize with others, any of it. He hates it. He hates how emotionally he acted yesterday, he hates how it has affected you.

“No,” He sighs. He speaks slowly as he carefully chooses his words, “I…shouldn’t have acted like that yesterday. It wasn’t fair to you.”

Your bottom lip trembles, but you force yourself not to cry, “It’s okay. I don’t blame you for it. Everyone was thinking it.”

He tries to catch your eye, but your gaze is downcast. He ducks, lowering himself to the ground even more, to enter your field of vision.

“Hey,” He says softly. “Do you trust me?”

Your brow furrows; you don’t understand why he’s asking you that. You feel yourself nodding, though.

“Everything I said yesterday,” He starts, but then shakes his head at himself. “No, everything I yelled at you yesterday – it was misdirected. What happened wasn’t your fault. There was no way of knowing what was about to happen.”

“But now, it’s obvious,” You mumble. “I should have known.”

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty. You were following orders. The ones assigning the orders are at fault, not you.”

You grab your sheets with tight fists. You turn your head to the side, away from his invisible gaze, “Orders that were obviously suspect. It’s still my fault as an experienced sorcerer.”

Gojo’s chest constricts. You sound exactly like he did yesterday; the consequences of his actions echo back to him from your mouth.

“I promise it’s not,” He insists, but it falls on deaf ears. “I’ve made mistakes too. I’ve made mistakes, but you never treated me like I treated you yesterday.”

Gojo clenches his teeth. This is hard. He hates bringing up this side of the past, but he’ll do it for you.

“You never judged me for what happened during the Star Plasma Vessel mission. Even though you wanted to leave that night, and I ignored you, you never blamed me.”

“You were seventeen,” You say quietly, shakily. “We were all kids. That was over a decade ago.”

“But you knew how to make it better,” He says breathlessly. “And you never even once insinuated that it was my fault.”

You smile sadly at him, and your next words are sure and immediate, “Because it wasn’t.”

Gojo’s mouth hangs open for a second, still amazed at the understanding and kindness that so easily shine through you even in the darkest moments.

He reaches out for your hands, unsure, and squeezes them when he finds them. “Can I…can I start over ? From yesterday?”

You blink blankly, not completely understanding, but give a hesitant nod anyway.

He exhales deeply and lowers his head to your hands until his forehead brushes your fingertips. It’s completely unexpected, and you freeze upon contact. His head is bowed to you – embarrassment and confusion flood you.

You are relieved when he raises his head to speak.

“What happened with our students isn’t your fault,” He says quietly but with conviction. “It’s the work of the higher ups - it’s their fault, nobody else’s. I’m…”

He pauses. Words he never says need to come out.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this happened while you were here and I was away, I’m sorry that I blamed you for things out of your control. This was never your fault.”

You are silent. You say nothing. You don’t move. Your expression stays blank.

He panics. He takes your silence as a sign of not being forgiven – which is not what he fears, in fact he doesn’t want to be forgiven. But he doesn’t want to lose you, and that’s exactly what he thinks has happened. Did he completely sever the bond spanning more than a decade?

“I understand if you can’t forgive me, but,” He swallows thickly, the anxious feeling rising. “But I hope this doesn’t…”

He tries again, “I hope our friendship…I hope you- I don’t want to lose you after all we-”

“Satoru – it’s not that,” You say quickly. “You haven’t, I promise. I have already forgiven you. I forgave you from the moment it started.”

You close your eyes, clenching them shut. You don’t want to cry again. “It’s just that…even if I’m not directly at fault, Yuji is still dead. Our student is dead. Despite anything that can be said of the situation, that fact will not change.”

He really shouldn’t tell you this. He needs to, but he shouldn’t.

“Do you trust me?” He says again, voice only a whisper. He’s even closer now, only inches away. A hand raises to ease his blindfold down so that it rests loosely around his neck.

Your eyes on his are so clear, and reveal so much – surprised by his bare gaze, confusion clear in your beautiful eyes he finally can see so clearly up close.

“Of course,” You whisper breathlessly. “Always have.”

“Close your eyes, and hold on,” He says. “Don’t want you getting lost again, angel.”

You know what that means. Teleportation. But where could he be taking you that is so important right now? Maybe somewhere he knows you like to calm you down?

You’re taken aback by the rush of air around you even though you’ve traveled like this many times.

The few uncomfortable moments in the strange vortex allow you to question where be could be possibly be taking you. Before you can decide on an answer, however, the roar in your ears subsides, and you are steadied by his grip around your shoulders. He's so close again, wisps of his soft hair tickling your neck. One of his large hands drops down to clutch yours. You’re ashamed about now nice it all feels in such a situation.

Then all that slips away and you're immediately on guard - there's another cursed presence nearby.

“Gojo-sensei, you’re back? That movie was kind of weird and bad, but I swear that one character was (L/N)-sensei. Do they have a twin or something?”

Your eyes pop open. Your hand falls out of Gojo’s as your grip completely goes slack. That voice…Youthful, full of energy and a kind innocence. It could only be...

Gojo responds ecstatically, dramatically, “Ah, but of course not! I have brought an honored guest! An old time Hollywood star whose home was the red carpet! The famed, the budding talent, (Y/N)-”

He’s cut off by a shriek. He blinks twice, and you’re already far from his side, rushing to the secret he has to keep - the secret he couldn’t possibly keep from you.

You crash into Yuji, binding him in a crushing hug. He's open mouthed and spluttering in surprise, but you don't have it in you to be embarrassed right now. You have no idea how, but he is standing before you, living and breathing. As seemingly endless tears pour down your face, you miss now the confusion on his face morphs into a look of grim understanding. He doesn't know what you went through, but he can guess.

And then you're laughing. Crying and laughing. Heaving breaths to accommodate your almost hysterical laughter, standing back to wipe away your tears before hugging Yuji again.

The sight of you hugging your student so tightly, healing with just this action, coaxes a half smile out of Gojo. Only half because he is in danger of faltering himself, bottom lip wavering as a wave of emotion flows over him.

The abandoned blindfold is clenched tightly in his hand as he tries to hold back the emotions welling in his brilliant eyes. He almost wants to put it back on to hide the emotions underneath, but he can’t, not when the whole reason he took it off was to see this with his own eyes.

No words are exchanged for a long while. They don't need to be, and even Gojo can see that.

By the time he is taking you home, your dynamic has shifted back to something more normal. It's raining, but you insist on walking back, citing the fact that his teleportation makes you horribly dizzy. (Or maybe, just maybe, you want a little more time with him. But you'd never admit that to yourself.)

The constant overhead drizzle is a bit annoying, but is bearable despite Gojo's claims of it tainting his very existence. He’s clearly back to his overdramatics - it's comforting.

The streets are dark, with only muted warm yellow lights lining the sidewalks, creating only vague halos of light due to the misty air. Gojo walks close to your side, an arm wrapping protectively around your shoulders. At some point through your chatting, it slips down to your waist. You don't notice it right away, but once you do, all you can do is wonder if he's done that before - if it's normal for friends.

You notice something else strange. His blindfold is still loosely hanging from his body, his baby blues on display. It's hard to look at him like this - you feel too exposed - even though you desperately want to get lost in his eyes. Yes, your deep affection for him still rings true, even if he yelled at you, even if he did expose your horrible, cringey child acting.

“I can’t believe you put on that movie!” You exclaim, miming exasperation.

Gojo chuckles, “Scolding me again, that’s a good sign. Even if it’s for an illogical reason – c’mon, ‘Painters in Paris’ is a classic!”

You can’t hold back your wide, devious smile, “I guess you would think that since you literally look like a fucking paint brush!”

His jaw drops, and he looks at you faux-offended as you practically double over in laughter.

“Angel! No, I really should be calling you devil! You- get over here!”

Although you run from him, he quickly catches up to you and you’re in his grasp. He immediately overwhelms you with vicious tickles.

“Gojo!! Satoru, you– stop that!” You say between bouts of laughter. You’re off balance, and his relentless attack isn’t helping. “Hey, stop, I’m gonna–!”

You stumble and begin to topple to the cold cement, but you’re scooped up before you meet your demise.

A small gasp escapes you at your proximity, and at his eyes so clearly looking deeply into yours, yearning burning through them. He's never looked at you like this - has he?

“Woah! That was close, huh, angel?” He smiles, tone nonchalant and voice steady. He seems unaffected by your closeness, but his eyes tell a different story. You don't know what to trust - him or his eyes. But they say that the eyes are the windows into the soul – what answer does that leave you with?

And what answer do you have? Right now, with his strong arms around you, those beautiful eyes glittering as if they hold a sea of stars, that sweet smile that never fails to give you butterflies, those lips you can’t help but glance at for too long–

You know.

Without thinking, you give in to your instinct to keep leaning in, and your lips meet his. It's not a passionate crash, but more of a gentle whisper to the soul. A soft brush to his lips, all the sweetness he brings to you returned.

Then, you pull away slowly, almost in confusion. Did you just do that?

You’re horrified. What did you just do without a single thought behind your action?

A gentle chuckle brings you out of your momentary horror.

“So what, you’re a paint brush kisser now?” He chuckles softly, his thumb gently brushing against your lower lip.

You take in his expression - flushed cheeks, a soft smile, eyes full of a softness you've never imagined they could have.

"Yes,” You agree, your mouth stretching widely from the excitement and happiness you can’t hold back, “ l proudly am.”

He pulls you closer and kisses you deeply, again and again and again until you're both out of breath. You both stay in that moment, feelings that lay hidden for years finally spilling out, until you're completely engulfed by the rain.

note part 2: I have a tendency to be over-detailed about boring/fluff details, so I tried to do that less here. First one shot in a while !! I hope the flow is still okay…I also couldn't decide how to do the ending, so l hope this works?

Also wow I can’t stop writing hurt/comfort and Gojo being an ass! I have another story drafted that’s also Gojo x reader and hurt/comfort as well…

Here’s a hint about that one: 🌸🩸

If you’re looking for more hurt/comfort, here’s my gojo hurt/comfort series: here (more action-y than this though)

Thanks for reading !! :)

#gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru is a little shit #jjk #ieiri shoko #gojo fanfic #yuji itadori #gojo satoru is emotionally constipated #gojo x reader #gender neutral mc #gojo satoru x you

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trophyclown · 7 months

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Please stop using AFAB if you just mean cis female.

I’ve noticed more and more writers are misusing the term AFAB and using it as a shorthand to say the reader is a cis women. This is a bit disheartening to see as the term was coined specifically to include trans and nonbinary people. AFAB is purely a physical description and has no bearing on the gender of the reader. It’s a gender neutral term. So please tag accordingly. Continuing to use it like this just further alienates trans people from a word made to include us. Please, just tag female if that’s what you mean.

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nyra-42 · 2 days

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that feeling when you REALLY like a story you just started but then you're like . . . i should check to see how many chapters/parts/pages that are left before I get too excited.

And when you were expecting maybe 5 there's actually 30!!!!!

TEARS OF JOY!!! 🥹😭🥹😭🥹

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jtkys · 3 months

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If gojo is canonically good at pretty much anything he tries do you guys think that means he writes fanfics about himself for shits n giggles

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seoafin · 1 year

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I need your thots on house husband geto,,how he cooks and cleans and all he asks from you is a kiss every now and then [ever since i read nitc all i've been thinking about is how he asks rip!mc for a kiss in exchange for anything]

ohhhhhhhhhhhh

"You don't cook at home?"

When Shoko had dragged you out to a girl's night with some of her old friends from medical school, citing that Satoru and Suguru had kept you cooped up in the apartment for themselves for too long, this was not a question you anticipated to be answering. At first you were overwhelmed. It was a large gathering. Ten became eight, and eight had dwindled to six and then four. Right on the verge of retiring for the night, conversation had shifted to the topic of boyfriends and relationship woes.

And now three pairs of eyes look to you. An amused chuckle escapes Shoko's lips, a lit cigarette neatly slotted between her lips.

You blink, embarrassment washing over you. "I—well." You stare down at your lap. "I'm not really that good at cooking...so my boyfriend...does all the cooking."

Suguru does the cooking. And the laundry. When Suguru's away, Satoru takes care of it. Satoru washes the dishes. Cleans. He sweeps and vacuums and tidies after the kids. You had tried to help, once, but Suguru had directed you away, and now the realization is quickly dawning on you that it may have been because you are simply incompetent at housework.

You may not be able to cook, but nobody is incompetent at cleaning!

Except…maybe you. You don’t know. You’ve never needed to clean. Nothing more than a perfunctory clean every once in a while when you lived alone. You weren’t a messy person. Shoko remarked often that your first apartment was cleaner than it had been when you had originally moved in.

"How sweet," Kuriyama sighs out. "My boyfriend can't even cut a vegetable! He cooks for you? Everyday?"

"U-usually," is your response while your mind races, trying to think back to the last time you had helped with anything around the house. Anything.

"The only thing my boyfriend can make is ramen. Not to mention he's super picky about his food!" Mori shakes her head. "He's so difficult! Honestly I think of dumping him everyday for being so incompetent!"

You stare at her.

Shoko clears her throat. "I'm sure it’s not only that—”

“I agree,” Kuriyama says, nodding, face fiercely determined. “It gets so tiring sometimes taking care of everything. Maybe it’s time to move on!” She leans in. “Your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to have any good looking friends?”

Out of all the reasons that constantly filled your head with why Satoru and Suguru would break up with you, you hadn’t expected your inability to do household chores to be one of them.

Incompetent.

Well, it would certainly be understandable. If anything, you think you would prefer them breaking up with you over something as mundane as not being able to do housework, instead of the many flaws to your character. It would settle easier. It would hurt less. Now you just had to prepare yours—

“Let’s call it a night!” Shoko interrupts, cigarette disposed, taking you to stand up by the arm. “I have to get her back before people start calling,” she says, interlacing your fingers.

Kuriyama sighs. “Just when we were getting to the best part, Shoko!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mori grins. “You should come to our next night out. You can invite your boyfriend too! We’ll make an exception!”

Shoko waves them off, pulling you outside the izakaya.

“I can’t cook either,” she says as the two of you wait for a taxi. You know that. But Shoko bakes. Cookies and cakes and occasionally other baked goods. You spent nights over at her apartment eating cupcakes until late in the morning, watching American dramas and horror movies. Delicious, mouth watering desserts.

“Who expects women to cook nowadays anyway?”

—

When the elevator parts to your apartment, you immediately go to Mimiko and Nanako’s room and check their pink laundry hamper. Empty. Then to Tsumiki’s room. Empty. Megumi’s room. Empty.

You’re seated on the floor of Megumi’s room when the door opens again.

“How was the—”

You push past Satoru to go into your shared room at the end of the hall to check your laundry hamper. Suguru is reading on the bed when you open the closet. Empty. You sit down, knees flush to your chest, dejected.

You don’t need to look behind you to know Satoru and Suguru are exchanging glances.

From your knees, you mumble. “Did you do the laundry?”

It’s Suguru that answers you. “We just finished a load.”

“Oh.”

You sit in silence.

At least, until Satoru gently yanks you up into his arms, and carries you to the bed. You immediately turn face down on your comforter, covering your face.

You think they must be having another one of their silent conversations. You squeeze your eyes shut. Tomorrow, you resolve, you’d wash the dishes after dinner.

You hear the door open yet again with Satoru’s departure, and Suguru softly says your name. You sigh, picking yourself up. You really can’t refuse Suguru when he says your name like that.

“Where are the kids?” You ask, even though you already know where they are. They’d be back early tomorrow morning, before school.

“Educational overnight field trip with Yaga,” Suguru replies, amused as your attempt to delay the inevitable. He plays along, lightly teasing. “It’s not like you to forget these things.”

You don’t meet his eyes. Suguru calmly waits you out until you lamely say: “I don’t help around the house.”

You can tell he’s taken aback. “Is that why you were looking for…dirty clothes?”

You’re embarrassed just thinking about it. “...”

“I like cooking,” he says. “I like cooking and watching you, Satoru, Megumi, and the girls enjoy what I make. And I definitely, don’t think it’s a burden. We order out a lot too, don’t we?” He continues. “As for the laundry, I grew up doing it with my mother. It reminds me of home.”

You reluctantly look up. There’s a soft smile on his lips. “I can wash the dishes.”

He chuckles, hand caressing your face. You nearly close your eyes and lean into it. “You don’t need to. You don’t need to do anything.”

You still want to. Try. It makes you feel better. Slightly. The knots in the pit of your stomach loosen. “Can I help you with lunch for the kids tomorrow…?”

He pretends to think about it. The fondness in his barely suppressed expression gives him away. "Maybe if you give me a kiss first."

"Suguru," you grumble.

He only replies with your name, face erupting into a full blown grin.

Your face warms as you lean close and cup his face with your hands, bringing your lips to his. He pulls you on to straddle his lap, wrapping an arm around your waist and breathes you in. His lips briefly part, and you feel his tongue run over your bottom lip.

You pull away, about to rest your face onto his shoulder, into his neck. His dark purple gaze draws you in. “We can take care of you,” he says, softly. Then he kisses you again, and this time you let him take you apart with his tongue. Against your lips: “We can take care of you.”

You draw apart, breathless. You pointedly stare at the wall behind him while you attempt to regain what’s left of your composure. Suguru laughs and presses a kiss to your collarbone, one hand sliding underneath your shirt onto bare skin, thumb lightly dragging over the scar of raised flesh on your side.

“Besides,” he murmurs, lips still attached to your neck. You can feel the slightest kiss of teeth. “Satoru makes more of a mess than the kids. It’s only right that he cleans up after himself.”

“Hey!” The sound erupts from behind the door.

You should’ve known.

—

[extra]

“I’m so sorry,” you bemoan.

Ten minutes prior, Nanako had run into the kitchen, brush in hand and horrified, ("Papa, something's burning!"), then she had looked at you, brightened in understanding, and called back into the hall: “Everything’s alright guys!”

Satoru looks over at the unrecognizable charred pieces of salmon on the stove top, face unreadable. Then he shrugs and drops a light kiss on your nose. “You tried.”

You hide your face in your hands.

You also pretend not to see Satoru discreetly handing Megumi a pack of bills as the kids shuffle out the door for school.

#rip!mc failwife stsg househusbands #what is a man nowadays if he can't cook and clean and do the laundry and the dishes #like c'mon now put 'em to work!!!!!#gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #m.jjk #poly au

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corvid007 · 9 days

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satoru Gojo and Micah Yujin are pretty much the same people. can not convince me otherwise. they are both

super cute

playfull

immature at times

annoying

compettitive

are the ‘strongest’

sound amazing

rich

over confidant/big ego

secretly lonely

probably easy to fluster

and most inportantly

ANNOYINGLY PERFECT

Hell if you wanted to you could even say that both of these brats are a lot like 707 from Mystic Messenger as well

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jacksonlywife · 5 months

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"Surprise!"

(JJK BOYS x READER)

Synopsis: Some JJK Characters react to their spouse hugging them.

(GN!Reader)

Itadori Yuji: “Woah woah what's this?” Yuji says blushing heavily with a smile slipping onto his

expression.

“A hug!” You say giving him a tighter one then before making your boyfriend wrap his

arms around you.

“Your cute.” He says ruffling your hair and nuzzling into your neck.

Kamo Choso:

“Huh?” Choso said with an oblivious look on his face.

“I’m giving you a hug.” You chuckle at his obliviousness, squeezing him tighter making him flinch.

“Oh. Do I just..” He puts his arms around you in an awkward manner, a tiny blush making its way all over his ears.

Gojo Satoru:

“Hmm? What’s this babe?” Gojo stares at you smirking.

“A hug.” You smile at him knowing he was teasing you. He squeezes you tight and kisses your lips smiling and humming to himself leaving you a flustered mess.

I WONT BE ACTIVE MUCH CAUSE OF EXAMS BUT ILL POST WHEN I CAN 😭

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kadeeesworld · 11 months

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A good time

Warning smut— choking more like a hand around your neck but-, rough sex, crying, dirty talk (just a little),body worship, unprotected sex, mentions of pregnancy, aftercare. If you know you’re not meant to be reading this just behave and move on. <3

He had you on your back legs thrown over his shoulders as he pounded into you “such a good girl for me taking my cock like a good little slut” you whined at his words tears starting to form in your eyes “but you’re my slut” he leaned forward his lips coming down against yours his hand creeping up to wrap around your neck “so pretty for me”.

To say he loves you like this was an understatement he loved seeing you all fucked out, heavy breathing, drenched in sweat and arousal and it was all because of him, if he wasn��t so concerned about getting you to cum he would’ve released inside of you long ago but the way your slick walls hugged his cock begging for more he couldn’t do that to you, his pretty girl who took whatever he gave.

He loves you, he loves your body he loves that it’s all his and only his, he loves to kiss up your body from your feet up to your neck and finally your lips his most favorite part about you he swore he couldn’t help himself when it comes to you fucking into overstimulation. He loved to rub and kiss on your body suck on your breast so sweetly listening to your cries and he was close and he could tell you were too the way your walls fluttered around him “you gonna cum for me pretty girl, go ahead let me feel you so I can fill up you up” a few more thrusts and you damn near screamed his name he finally spilled into you filling you up with his warm seed.

“You did so good for me” he leaned back down to wipe your tears and softly kiss your lips. You were out of breath as he finally sadly pulled out,his cum dripping out of you “I cant wait to see your belly swollen with my child , you’d make a beautiful mother.” He lays you down and goes to get a warm rag to clean you up, he lays down next to you and pulls you close kissing the back of your shoulder and whispers sweet words into your ear “I love you” the last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep.

I cant write smut wtf 😭😭

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occasionalsnippets · 4 months

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Thinking about a mahito reader insert because what's a better way to stop the canon deaths by not being a piece of shit.

A/N: kinda wrote this really quickly so it’s messy and ends super abruptly

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You wake up wrong.

Wrong as in, you don't feel like yourself, you're empty, where are you, what are you? This was not where you were supposed to be but it felt right, the pit in your heart, the emptiness, the hate that nipped at the edge of your consciousness. What are you?

Getting up is awkward, clunky, like you were unused to your body. You bend your fingers one by one and frown at their shape. They’re wrong, you knew they were, but why? You hesitantly begin to walk away, going nowhere in particular. Eventually, you stop at a puddle where you see yourself for the first time.

Long grey hair and light grey eyes look back at you. There are stitches across your face, neck and arms and you're wearing dark clothes and plain white shoes.

The name “Mahito” slips from the tip of your tongue.

This is not you.

You hate it. You hate this form, this body, these features of yours. You hate it more than you hate the way you were before. You aren't Mahito, you can't be, not like this.

Instinctively, you raise your hand to your chest and reach into your soul. You twist it and nudge it, shaping it into something else. When you settle, you look down at the puddle again. You looked almost like yourself again with the exception of the stitches still running across you.

It's better. The best you're going to get it, likely.

"This is bad, isn't it?" There's a strange lilt to your voice that you know you aren't supposed to talk with. Something to be fixed later then.

You think about the coming events. Kenjaku, Junpei, Kokichi, Nanami, Shibuya. It'll be fine, won't it? There's enough that can be avoided if you don't join Kenjaku, right? You just need to not get exorcised.

Your reflection ripples as you step into the puddle. You take one more look at yourself, watch the foreign expressions on your face before turning away to leave.

Impressively, your plans are immediately disrupted when, in the light of the setting sun, you come across Geto Suguru's last moments with Gojo Satoru. It's terribly awkward when you show up, the two of them having already sensed you and looking in your direction when you come to a stop.

“If you're going to kill him, you should dispose of the body properly,” you say in lieu of a better introduction. "If you don't, someone will take it."

What would make a better first impression than an implied threat? Maybe this way, you'll become more comfortable with being a cursed spirit, with being Mahito.

It is Gojo who breaks the silence, tensely saying, "What do you mean?"

You look at Geto who is seated against the wall, clutching the stump where his arm used to be connected. There’s love that the two of them hold for one another. The kind that will cause Gojo to hesitate to destroy the body, the body that Kenjaku will steal and use to seal Gojo away.

You don’t really care if he chooses to kill Geto or not so long as there’s no body for Kenjaku to take afterwards. You think you may have cared if you were human instead but all you can feel is a void where those feelings should be.

“Are you going to kill him?” you ask.

Because if he doesn’t, Geto will die of blood loss anyways and you just might have to get rid of the corpse if Gojo can’t bring himself to do it.

#mc; less than a day in Jjk: I. I f*cked up.#gojo satoru #geto suguru #agremlinchildthatneedscontent #jjk #ask #jujutsu kaisen #answered #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #mahito #my writing #writing #reader insert #thinking about concepts #written in second person

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fragileheartbeats · 19 days

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"why you love him?"

Because he's a walking meme and I'm a depressed bitch with no hope in world.

#ㅤㅤ⠀ㅤ 𓇼ㅤ ㅤ𓂂ㅤㅤ ˚ㅤㅤ ◌ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏#tom glynn carney #aegon ii targaryen #jjk x reader #aegon targaryen x reader #gojo x reader #genshin impact x reader #hsr x reader #bnha x reader #tokyo rev x reader #text post #haikyuu x reader #twst x reader #obey me x reader #obey me x mc

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softxsuki · 1 year

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Hey there!!

I just discovered your blog while looking for some comfort fics and I immediately loved your newest Hawks fic and I will definitely be checking out your Yona fics now!🥹🥹

I have an urgent request too actually but pls don't feel pressured or anything if you are busy!! I'm just having a really bad BPD episode at the moment and I have the urge to cut everyone I love off because I feel unloved by them and like such a burden to everyone and I feel like I can't handle the pain anymore..

Sooo therefore I'd like to request Drabbles/Oneshots (honestly fully up to you) for Hawks, Gojo and Lucifer (only if that's okay for you ofc!!🩷) with a reader who acts all cold and becomes more and more distant in their relationship and when they confront her about it she breaks down and admits that she did it out of fear that they were going to abandon her anyway and bcs she felt like they deserved better..?

I know it's very specific and I am kind of embarrassed to ask for it but honestly my fav characters are my only source of comfort rn and I saw that you do mental health requests/comfort fics and I thought it's the sweetest and most thoughtful thing ever!!🥲

So even if you won't write this for or can't do it "immediately" I wanna thank you for doing this for the mentally ill folks who get their comfort from fictional characters. You are a lovely person! 🥹

-🩷

Hawks, Gojo, and Lucifer (Separate) with Reader Who Tries To Cut Them Out of Her Life

Pairings: Hawks x Fem!Reader, Gojo x Fem!Reader, Lucifer x Fem!MC

Warnings: mentions of feeling like a burden, wanting to cut loved ones out of your life, unedited (excuse any mistakes)

Genre: comfort

Post-Type: headcanons

Word Count: 1.07k

Summary: In which you try and distance yourself from them and they realize and try to talk it out with you (Yeah ik I'm still bad at writing these summaries, I'm sorry 😢 😂 )

[A/N: HEY! Thank you so much for your sweet words! I'm blessed that I'm able to write things for people that provide them with comfort. I'm so sorry for the long wait, life has been crazy, but I managed to find the motivation to get this done today! I hope it helps. I know you were looking for oneshots or drabbles, but I only write headcanons when someone wants a request for multiple people, so I hope that's okay! Enjoy! I hope it provides you with a little bit of comfort if anything :) <3 Take care!]

Hawks:

He gets very petty and if you decide to avoid him, he won’t make the effort to force you to be in his presence, but ofc it does sadden him, he loves you and having you push him away and not reach out to him less and less, hurts

Until one day he grows impatient with your silence

What did he do to have you shut him out? Why were you doing this?

He needed answers and he needed them now, so get ready for him banging at your door and inviting himself in as soon as you open it a crack

Hawks is gentle with the way he approaches the issue, honestly he might think that he may have accidentally done or said something without realizing it that possibly hurt your feelings

So he begins with an apology and just asks what you need him to do for you to forgive him for whatever he’s done

You mean the world to him, so having you slowly push him away from you without any kind of warning makes him nervous…he can’t lose you

“I know I’m out frequently doing hero work, and I sometimes have to leave our dates if I’m called for an emergency. I’m sorry if you’ve felt like I don’t care about you because of these things. But I want you to know right here and now that I love you so much and nothing will ever change that. So please, let me into your heart, don’t push me away anymore Y/N…”

Once you tell him that you’ve just been feeling like a burden to him, he moves quickly to wipe those thoughts out of your head

Never once has he thought you were a burden and his love for you just seems to grow as the days pass

Moving forward, he tries his best to verbally express his feelings for you more often, as well as trying to find time to see you again if he ever has to leave for a hero emergency

From now on, you’ll never doubt his love for you–and please, just mention whenever you feel this way again to him, he’d love to talk it out with you instead of just having you push him away

Gojo:

This man gets so pouty when you decide to ignore him

But it doesn’t affect how much he sees you on a daily basis

He refuses to let you avoid him and will continue to stick by your side

He’ll annoy you with his presence everyday, until you lash out in desperation because as much as you tried to slowly avoid him he was always there

But he remains unphased through it all and continues to act like this idiot he is

He does however, decide to get a little serious and hear you out as to why you are attempting to push him away, when you already know you’re stuck with him for life

Gojo isn’t stupid, as much as he tries to avoid serious conversations, once you actually open up to him, he knows that it’s time to listen to you and be there for you.

So when he hears that you’ve been feeling like a burden to him, he patiently listens to you the whole time

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. If anything I’m probably the one who’s a burden on you. I know I can be too much sometimes, but I just want to make sure you’re always happy. I’m sorry for not realizing your feelings sooner, Y/N. I don’t know exactly what's going on in that head of yours, and even though I joke around too much you can always open up to me about all those complicated feelings in your heart.”

A rare, empathetic Gojo moment that you out of everyone else in his life gets to see, so it’s truly an honor

Be he wipes an insecurities you may be feeling away and gets to joking around again in hope that it helps lift your mood

He’d probably put his phone on silent from all the elder higher-ups trying to contact him and spend the day with you–after all you are the most important person in his life, he’d do anything for you

Lucifer:

Out of everyone else on this list, Lucifer definitely knows what’s up even by the slightest change in your mood or actions towards him

I picture him not caring that you’re pushing him away, he's still going to go see you every morning and wish you goodnight every night

Stubbornness doesn’t work on him. He’s been alive for too long to have things go over his head so he already can kinda guess what’s going on with you after avoiding him just once

Literally, he sense something is off so fast, and his pride won’t allow him to just leave you be so you hear him knocking at your bedroom door so fast; you didn’t even get a chance to properly try and avoid him NFJENAKF

So he gets down to business very quickly, asking you what’s been going on and what he can do to help you feel better

Don’t even try to play dumb and act like nothing's wrong by trying to persuade him that you’re completely fine–he will see right through all your attempts

Once he is aware of how you’ve been feeling, he’s almost offended

“Have I done anything to prove that I do not care for you anymore MC? I invite you to my room each night, I treat you with respect and as much love as I possibly can. I know I’m not always as open with my feelings in public, but we both know that if I didn’t care for you, I wouldn't give you my time of day. That would never happen though, I’m already in too deep for you and nothing can change that…not even if Diavolo himself commanded it.”

He’s a passionate man, and knowing that you felt like he didn’t love you anymore really bruised his pride.

Expect many romantic advances after this; private dinners at Ristorante Six (he’ll rent out the whole place for you), going to see plays together, late night walks in the devildom away from his chaotic brothers who won’t leave you alone, and much more

He’ll make sure you know he loves you at the end of every night, so be prepared!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 4/26/2023

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mikasha-9 · 10 months

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My first time doing short comic sjshdh

#obey me fanart #obey me #mammon fanart #obey me mc #obey me oc #gojohime #utahime iori #gojo x utahime #jjk fanart #obey me nightbringer #iori utahime #jujutsu kaisen #obey me mammon #obey me fandom #jjk utahime #crack fic #mammon x reader #mammon x mc

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ikemenomegas · 1 year

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Gojo Satoru x Reader

ウタカタ (Hey, let's stay like this forever)

there is a side helping of Geto Suguru x Reader and Ieri Shoko x Reader in this as well, lucky you. Fifteen year old sorcerers are messy and emotional and a damn delight, lucky you

"Why did you throw the match?"

It's the next day when Satoru-san clatters up to you on your way to one of the libraries.

The way your lips press flat together and you wrinkle your nose is automatic, shown before you think to reel it back.

You step back automatically, even though Satoru-san has never really been the one to reach out and touch people.

"You won. You were going to win anyways," you say, a hard pit in your stomach, clutching your notebook to your chest.

He looks... put out, his eyes boring into yours over the rim of his sunglasses.

"You shouldn't give up early," he says, sulky.

The tone surprises you and it must show on your face because Satoru-san relaxes a bit, slumping over with his hands on his pockets.

You don't know what to say to him. You don't want to say anything, don't want to explain yourself. Satoru-san is smart. It feels like if you say anything he'll see right through you.

"What if it was a curse," he goes on, oddly awkward.

Is he... trying to reassure you? That seems a little off base, but he's also not leaving.

"You're not a curse," you say, confused. "You're a person." You curse your own name in your head. You need to stop talking.

Satoru-san half-scowls, looking petulant.

"What about a curse-user?"

"You're not a curse-user either," you say, feeling uncomfortable. You've never actually encountered a curse user that you had to fight. The wildfire draw of your power is always there, the what-if of what you could do if there were no rules bounding the places in your mind where it feels safe to use your power.

"I'm going to get ice cream" he says suddenly.

"Um, okay." The non-sequitur throws you, your grip on the notebook loosening just slightly.

He blinks at you expectantly over the rim of his glasses. He also isn't leaving.

He rolls his eyes at you like you're the slowest thing he's ever encountered and grabs your wrist.

"Come on."

"Hey!"

It's a nominal protest, more to do with how he could easily yank you off your feet than anything else. It means there's not much choice but to follow him, stumbling a few steps quicker so you're standing by his side instead of behind.

He lets go of you so quickly, pausing so he's behind you and buffeting you downward with the threat of stepping on the backs of your shoes.

Coming around the corner, you catch sight of the other two.

"If you explain yourself, people come around faster," Suguru-san calls up, gaze fixed over your shoulder.

"Why would I do that?" Satoru-san asks, but he sounds like he's smiling as you scoot behind Shoko-san for the space to tuck your notebook away.

"Where are we going?" you ask him, only for him to refuse to explain, darting off on his stupid-long legs and leaving the rest of you to follow. Suguru-san easily keeps pace, rolling his eyes good-naturedly and trailing back enough that it forces Satoru-san to slow down before he loses the rest of you.

Shoko-san looks amused but lets you grab her hand and tug her along so that you're clustered together.

You're pretty sure you're not technically supposed to be off campus yet, Yaga-sensei is going to throw a fit. The future knowledge of danger though just makes this seem something like an adventure, like you're all just normal teenagers breaking school rules for something simple and normal.

Satoru-san crowds at your back when you get to the ice-cream shop, yelling his order over everyone else's heads like he owns the place.

He doesn't scare you, this boy who people say will be the next god in the jujutsushi world. He's a skinny, too-tall highschooler, loud, trying so hard to be happy. He doesn't need to. He could be cruel, a bully. He could have really hurt you, but he hadn't.

And he's right. You had held back, because it doesn't matter that he's got some legendary power. You'd held back because you couldn't figure out a way to attack that wouldn't hurt him.

Well, hurt a normal person.

Satoru-san pays. He also steals spoonfuls from everyone's cups except Shoko's who playfully slaps him out of the way of the huge waffle cone she'd gotten.

It breaks enough ice for Suguru-san to offer you a taste of his, hojicha, and he accepts a spoonful of yours until you're trading ice cream back and forth, Shoko-san gently mocking by offering you what she won't let Satoru-san steal.

Shoko-san stops in a convenience store with Suguru-san on the way back. It leaves you alone with him again.

"You're right," you say. "I shouldn't have given up even though I'm not good enough to beat you the way I would like to."

Satoru-san snorts, but it's not an unkind sound. "I'm not fragile."

Seems like it's too late to pretend with him, which is something of a relief. You won't have to be so careful with your words.

"I discovered my technique when someone tried to bully me in elementary school. They pushed me down and tried to hit me and I was too scared to realize I wasn't getting hurt before I pushed them away and sent them flying three meters."

Satoru-san laughs, and you have to admit it's a bit funny. Your six year old self had been terrified of getting in trouble. It was only because no one could believe a kid could send someone flying that far without leaving a single bruise on their own knuckles that you'd gotten away with it.

"When Takao-sensei showed up and started taking me to the dojo, it was far too easy for me to seriously injure the other students, because of my technique." You'd dislocated shoulders, broken knees and noses. Not on purpose, but because you didn't know what to do with the energy that pounded into you from practice strikes until it all released in a single strike.

Satoru-san going after you head-on instead of moving around your blocks had evoked that same feeling - unable to get away because you knew he would never respect outright running, too outclassed by his natural speed to put pause to the onslaught, too unwilling to sincerely fight him on the off chance you'd actually hit him and damage the most important sorcerer on campus.

"If you'd been a curse I would have gotten out of the way and attacked you from the side again, or just shot you up into the sky." The image of the curse you'd done that to and how it all but impaled itself upon your blade on the way back down made your lips twitch in amusement.

"That could be interesting," he said, baring his teeth in a grin. "I've never had an aerial battle before."

What an intriguing thought.

"Maybe a rematch someday."

The bell over the convenience store's door jangles.

"Who's having a rematch?" Shoko-san tucks something into her pocket. "I just fixed your arm, don't let him break it again."

Satoru-san stuck out his tongue at her and turned back to you. "If you wait until you're ready you'll never catch up." His gaze was haughty, a challenge. "Not that you ever will."

You felt like you were going to fall over from how hard you were laughing, bent over your own stomach.

Shoko-san was staring at you, a half-smile on her lips, fingers tapping on the new box in her pocket.

"Ha-" you wiped a tear from the corner of your eye, abdominal muscles aching. You giggled one more time, "I'm not that easily baited, Satoru-san."

Shoko-san had stepped up the road out of direct line of sight to the store and was pulling the cellophane off the box of cigarettes. You followed her back out into the bright spring afternoon, relishing the warmth after eating something cold and then standing in the shadows of the trees.

The other two quickly caught up, Satoru-san looking distinctly pouty.

"Are you really going to start sparring with us?" Suguru-san asked. He was, as always much more intentionally polite than Satoru-san. However, there was something eerily eager in his expression too.

You caught a pebble on the tip of your shoe and kicked it down the road.

Satoru-san's provocation had been intentionally a little silly as much as it had been serious. You'd notice him do that sometimes - say something halfway wise or something that could be almost good advice, only to pull the chair out from under it as it was about to land.

You weren't competing to become another special grade sorcerer, to clamber up to where they were. A sorcerer fought alone and for their own convictions. It was one of the first bitter lessons Takao-sensei had taught you.

"I really don't want anyone to get hurt," you sighed. Suguru-san would understand, out of the two of them. He was the one who understood collateral damage the most, even if he was weird about it.

Shoko-san blew a stream of sweet smelling smoke by your ear. She was as invaluable as the other two and got paid the salary to show it and her cigarettes always smelled like good tobacco, almost like the hand-rolled stuff the old men in your town used to smoke outside their favorite gathering places.

"I need to practice my technique too. If no one's getting hurt what's the point?"

That little bit of eagerness, the spark of battle which Satoru-san's curiosity had inspired was almost easy to grasp again. It was cold and sharp, like light caught in a marble.

You wanted... you wanted to try. A jujutsushi's life was never safe, never without danger. It was one thing to destroy curses, but Satoru-san was right. If you waited to try until you knew you could do something, wasn't that the same as not trying? Takao-sensei had promised comrades for whom you wouldn't be an immediate danger.

At the time, it had seemed like the first solace you might have in a while. But if you were going to remain a sorcerer, remain alongside these people who dragged you off campus to break the rules, to laugh and steal food from one another and live knowing your work let others live, you couldn't just wait.

"Weren't you the one who just told me not to let my arm get broken again?" But it was said with a teasing lilt.

Shoko-san bit down on the filter of her cigarette and pulled at your arm, sliding the sleeve up and holding the limb up to the light. "Not for a week. You have two arms though."

"And two legs," Suguru-san added. "Your footwork needs work anyways."

"You know I was promoted to second kyu before enrolling here, right?"

"Was that before or after you started throwing matches?"

"Ouch. As long as I'm the one getting hurt, I guess. Shoko-san, please make sure to heal me!" you smiled at her. "You're the coolest one here, so I'll leave my body in your care."

Shoko-san scoffed, but patted your arm kindly.

There was a tug at your back, and then Satoru-san was bolting ahead, your notebook held in his hands.

"What-?! Satoru-san!"

"Who's this?" He was flipping through pages and got to one of the dividers where you had pasted a picture of -

"Deguchi Aki," you replied, squinting at the photo, "and Itano Tomomi. I think."

Suguru-san was also squinting into the distance. It occurred to you that you should probably chase after Satoru-san before he lost the loose pages simply tucked in the book.

"Idols?" Suguru-san guessed.

"Yeah, I saw the group debut a new song at the end of last year. Satoru-san!" He was flipping through pages now in a way that was actually make you nervous.

He laughed when you chased after him, using his advantage of height to hold the book out of your reach.

"Come on, I know you can jump higher than that."

You actually could, especially since you'd left your umbrella on campus and were already warmed up from the walk.

"Hah!"

You snatched at the notebook and grazed the cover. Satoru-san just showed too many teeth, but you didn't see his eyes go a little wide as you spun on your landing foot and launched yourself into the air again.

He was fast, as expected, and you only touched the second lowest ring this time.

"Satoru-san, I haven't had time to punch holes in the loose pages!"

This time he swung the book loosely while you chased it around his body.

Just as you were about to reach it, pushing your speed higher with cursed energy, a black blur missed your nose by centimeters.

You looked up, blinking in surprise. You reached for the book in Suguru-san's hands, but he twitched the book out of your reach.

"Hm, I think your notes are more organized than mine," he teased, hopping backwards when you tried to see what page he was on.

"I've never seen your notes." Sorcerer uniforms didn't usually have a lot of material hanging off of them so they couldn't be grabbed. You only mourned that loss now when it meant you couldn't steal anything from Suguru-san in return.

"We should study together," he said. closing the book and reaching out to hand it to you.

"Mm, okay."

Shoko-san appeared in front of you, smiling faintly, and when she was gone, the scent of smoke and lemon was left behind and your notebook was nowhere to be found.

"They're cute," she said, peering at the same page Satoru-san had opened to.

"They're really good," you said brightly. "I'll show you a video when we get back."

"Sure, show me."

Shoko pulled further away every time you nearly caught up, and her odd wheezing laughter was starting to catch in her throat once you realized what she was up to and simply started to chase her back up the road to the school.

Just before you would have caught her for real, Satoru-san once more dashed ahead, this time picking Shoko-san up on his back over her protests.

"Shall we?" Suguru-san appeared at your side, offering you his hand.

You recalled his speed and nodded, determined. "Let's go."

His smile was open and excited when you wrapped your arms around his neck and cheered him onward.

You raced all the way to the gates, Suguru-san and Satoru-san happily trampling past a ruddy-faced Yaga-sensei, already bellowing something about neglecting the education of young sorcerers, but you're all laughing, cheeks chilled by the spring breeze, shouting back We're home.

*いゔどっと - ウタカタ (Ivudot - Utakata) title from this song

Utakata is a word that can mean a bubble on the surface of a liquid, or as an adjective mean something ephemeral, transient.

#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #this is set in #omegaverse #but has no mention of #a/b/o dynamics #or #a/b/o #gn #it is after the first time this mc fought against Satoru and couldn't decide how to fight back fast enough to avoid injury #benefits of writing a bullet point outline of the early days #I can expand on those bullet points more easily than inventing totally new things #reader insert #alpha!reader #getou suguru x reader #ieri shoko x reader #if anyone's wondering i think Satoru dragged them to a foreign style ice cream place #he probably got something nonsensical with lots of add-ins and strawberries or chocolate #maybe shortcake or something like those tillamook ice cream sandwich things #suguru got a very light and refreshing hojicha which was one of the few traditional flavors on the menu #he would have gotten matcha or mint but he knows a better matcha place #shoko had something like ginger and lemon/brandysnap flavor in a cone instead of a cup #(when satoru is paying she likes to may him Pay haha)#brandysnap because i like the way that cookie sounds and it's something i can see being in an asian shop branding as european

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