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#aspd abuse
chaos-in-one · 1 year
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Hey narcissistic abuse & sociopathic/psychopathic abuse crowds, out of curiosity if a narcissist and a sociopath are dating, whose the abuser? Or do you think it just like... cancels out or smth?
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worms-in-my-brain · 6 months
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People with psychotic disorders are neurodivergent too.
People with personality disorders are neurodivergent too.
People with substance abuse disorders are neurodivergent too.
People with tic disorders are neurodivergent too.
People with bipolar disorder are neurodivergent too.
People with dissociative disorders are neurodivergent too.
Neurodivergence isn’t just ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression. (Plus those last two also get left out sometimes!) Neurodivergence is anything that affects your brain.
“Neurodivergent people hate loud noises” is actually just as valid as a statement as “neurodivergent people have delusions,” “neurodivergent people have tics,” or even “neurodivergent people have low empathy.”
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sin-esthezia · 8 months
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the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.
depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.
ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.
and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.
mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.
but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.
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a-sip-of-milo · 7 months
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Things people label as abuse when it's done to a partner that parents somehow get away with
Hitting/spanking. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but fair discipline when it's a child.
No privacy (no privacy = going through their phone, tracking their location, attending therapy appointments, etc.). Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but good parenting when it's a teenager.
Emotional neglect. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but "not the parents' fault" when it's a child.
Overworking them. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but earning their keep when it's a child.
Doing things to purposely make them cry. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but hilarious when it's a kid.
Breaking their stuff/deleting video game progress. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but fair discipline when it's a child.
Forcing affection when they don't want to. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but teaching them good manners when it's a child.
Locking them in a room that they can't escape. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but "they've got to learn one way or another" if it's a child.
Expecting them to suppress their emotions. Abusive/toxic if it's a partner but teaching them to be mature if it's a child.
Getting angry when they ask a question/challenge your logic/need clarification. Abusive/toxic if it's a partner but teaching them to not talk back if it's a child.
Not letting them eat anything unless it's what you put in front of them (that includes not letting them get anything for themselves). Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but teaching them to be grateful if it's a child.
If you've ever labeled any of these things as abuse when an adult opens up about their experiences but will defend parents who do the same thing, you need to reevaluate yourself.
DNI: Narcissistic/Borderline/Anti-social/Histrionic abuse believers.
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as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."
and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.
does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?
Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,
you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.
you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.
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autopsyfreak · 29 days
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tired of people on tiktok acting like BPD and HPD are the ‘good cluster b disorders’ or the ‘victim cluster b’s’ meanwhile NPD and ASPD are the ‘evil mean abusive cluster b’s’
stfu.
we’re in the same cluster for a reason, you can’t support some whilst demonising the others.
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Reminder for people with Personality Disorders:
You can be in therapy for years to be able to cope.
You can mask the difficulties you have.
You can cope well with your disorders.
You can function in daily life.
But the day you have a bad day, the day you're so overwhelmed that the mask slips and you simply say one thing, the neurotypicals will use it against you and use it to abuse you.
Abuse is a choice. Abusers make the choice to abuse someone. Not every abuser has a personality disorder. There are plenty of abusers that are Neurotypical. Plenty of neurotypicals will abuse those with PDs due to the stigma and misinformation around them.
Quit using terms like "Narcissistic/Histrionic/Borderline/Anti-Social Abuse"
Quit using "Narcissist" and "Anti-Social" as insults.
Quit justifying abuse towards people with PDs.
Quit armchair diagnosing abusers and assholes with Personality Disorders when you don't know the lived experience of people with them.
Stop fucking appealing to Neurotypicals.
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familiarplacedisc · 2 months
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Since it’s disability pride month, let’s all remember that people with NPD, BPD, ASPD, and any other cluster B disorders are NOT inherently bad people, are NOT destined to be abusers or serial killers, and should NOT be stigmatized for their disorders. Also, the term “Narcissistic abuse” is ableist and also complete bullshit. Yes you can be abused by a narcissist, you can be abused by any type of person. But your abuser having NPD doesn’t make what you experienced a whole different type of abuse. I was emotionally abused by someone with brown hair, but that doesn’t make me a victim of “brunette abuse”. So stop fucking using that term. There is nothing you can go through that makes it ok to further stigmatize a disorder.
If you have ASPD, NPD, BPD, HPD, you are not destined to be a bad person. Having a personality disorder is not your fault in any way. You deserve love and acceptance.
Happy July.
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Having survived abuse from people with mental illnesses, I know the urge to warn others to be wary of those mental illnesses. I know how often it can feel like that is your only power in life…the only action you can take against what you went through. But listen. Just because a mentally ill person caused you complex trauma, doesn’t mean you get to generalize and slander and malign every person with that mental illness.
You do not have to forgive your abusers. but you do have to heal without spreading stigma and misinformation. you do have to heal without antagonizing or dehumanizing others who are also just trying to heal. you have to help break the cycle. because nobody can heal alone.
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hussyknee · 1 year
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DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.
An abuser denies the abuse ever took place, attacks the person that was abused (often the victim) for attempting to hold the abuser accountable for their actions, and claims that they are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing what may be a reality of victim and offender. It often involves not just "playing the victim" but also victim blaming.
TL;Dr: Stop pathologizing neurodivergent people and individualizing abuse, and start treating abusers and bullies as a social failing that are products of privilege.
Unless you want to insist that every bitchass who's ever plagued marginalized people has NPD.
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dollotron · 7 months
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the empath phenomena that's emerged in the past 5-10 years on the internet is borderlining on cult mentality. The term empath was originally coined in J.T. McIntosh's science fiction novel "The empath" which came out in 1956. It's about telepaths.
it very often feels like people online use faux psychology about empaths to honeytrap people. Once they've gotten people's attention they'll start talking about "narcissistic abuse", "the evil narcissist", and how people with low/no empathy are dangerous or inferior to "empaths".
It's easy to recruit people into belief structures that "benefit" them. especially if you're pandering to and preying on victims of abuse that want to feel seen and heard. The recruitees will then spread the word because they've been indoctrinated into the belief structure. This is what cults do.
This isn't a dig at people with hyper empathy. Use critical thinking when surfing the internet.
You are not superior for having more empathy than another person. Actions speak louder than words, and just because someone doesn't experience empathy doesn't mean their actions are 'bad'.
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mimikyu-chr · 7 months
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if you have HPD, NPD or ASPD i love you. we’re either ignored or talked over, or flat out demonised. we’re seen as abusers. but we’re human, and a personality disorder shouldn’t change that.
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a-sip-of-milo · 8 months
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Abuse isn't only physical. Sometimes it is...
Shouting at them until they cry/retaliate.
Humiliating them in front of friends and family.
Refusing to let them see friends and family.
Isolating them from what's outside.
Refusing to let them have control over their own finances / keeping it all for yourself.
Belittling their looks, their personality, their thoughts, etc.
Bullying them in any way.
Purposely pushing boundaries.
Threatening them, either physically, verbally or emotionally.
Controlling what and when they eat.
Locking them in rooms so they can't escape.
Refusing to let them use the toilet/eat/sleep/etc. after or before a certain time.
Gaslighting them into questioning their own reality.
Lying to or manipulating the people around them so they look like the abuser.
Purposely breaking their belongings, especially in front of them.
Ignoring safewords/"stop"/anything that indicates they're not okay with what's happening (in general, not just in the bedroom)
Giving them zero privacy. That means going through their diaries, tracking them, attending their therapy/doctors appointments when they don't want you to.
Setting them up to fail for the sole purpose of getting to punish them.
Obvious favoritism of one child over another/the others.
All of these are things that I have personally been through. They contributed heavily to my eating disorder, my BPD, my anxiety and my depression.
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anotheraspdrager · 9 months
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"my ex was a narcissist!" and it's just a random dude who can't take accountability because patriarchy
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