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a-healthy-dose-of-apathy · 8 months

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credit to: meme.phistopheles on insta

#bpd #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd problems #actually borderline #bpd feels #bpd meme #bpd memes #paranoia #bpd rage #npd things #npd memes #cluster b memes #cluster b #aspd memes #aspd tag #npd safe #aspd safe

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anotheraspdrager · 8 months

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"my ex was a narcissist!" and it's just a random dude who can't take accountability because patriarchy

#antisocial personality disorder #aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #actuallyaspd #low empathy #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #npd thoughts #actually npd #npd awareness #npd stigma #npd tag #narcissistic abuse

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syko-raccoon · 3 months

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HEY CLUSTER B PEOPLE I HAVE SOMETHING FOR U

#npd #npd safe #npd positivity #npd things #aspd safe #aspd #aspd tag #aspd positivity #bpd stuff #bpd #dpd #cluster b #hpd #hpd safe #hpd positivity

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sleepyherbs · 8 months

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ASPD Resource Dump

feel free to reblog! here are some resources related to ASPD that i've collected since i've being diagnosed (roughly 5 years).

Sympathetic Articles

An Autistic Sociopath's Story, Cassy, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. an autistic pwASPD talks about her life and experiences with both.)

An Interview with a Sociopath, Dyshae, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. a pwASPD and bipolar disorder talks about his life and experiences with both.)

Life With Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), Andrew, through mind.org.uk (a pwASPD's account of their life and experiences with it.)

The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath, William H. J. Martens, MD, PhD (a sympathetic view of pwASPD, and some information on the neurobiology of ASPD.)

Factors for Development

Antisocial personality disorder in abused and neglected children grown up., B. K. Luntz, C. S. Widom (from 1994. provides evidence supporting the fact that child abuse/neglect is a predictor of antisocial behavior.)

Antisocial Personality Disorder with Childhood- vs Adolescence-Onset Conduct Disorder, Risë B. Goldstein et al. (from 2006. discusses how symptoms vary in pwASPD whose conduct disorder began in childhood vs in adolescence.)

Predictors of antisocial personality: Continuities from childhood to adult life, Emily Simonoff et al. (from 2018. draws connections between childhood behaviors, diagnoses, etc., and antisocial behavior in adulthood.)

Risk Factors in Childhood That Lead to the Development of Conduct Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder, Stacey E. Holmes, James R. Slaughter, Javad Kashani (from 2001. covers multiple categories that may lead to development of CD and/or ASPD, including environment, genetics, and individual differences.)

Miscellaneous Articles

Antisocial Personality Disorder: Neurophysiological Mechanisms and Distinct Subtypes, Sean J. McKinley (from 2018. proposes three diagnostic subtypes for ASPD: primarily detached, primarily disinhibited, and combined.)

Executive function, attention, and memory deficits in antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy, Michael Baliousis et al. (from 2019. discusses some neurobiology of ASPD, and how it effects executive function, attention, and memory.)

Self-mutilation in antisocial personality disorder, M. Virkkunen (from 1976. reports on self-injury behaviors in pwASPD, and details their motivations.)

#actually antisocial #actually aspd #cluster b #aspd tag #tea time !

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thecandyispoisoned · 2 years

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Excuse my lack of response, you just said something that my brain decided is an attack now I hate you until further notice and I'd rather not talk to you because if I do I might say something hurtful and I'm trying to convince myself that I'm a good person

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like-this-post-if-you · 2 months

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Like this post if you have ASPD

#aspd safe #actually aspd #aspd #aspd traits #aspd culture is #aspd memes #aspd awareness #aspd positivity #aspd tag #personality disorder #cluster b #actually cluster b #likes

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queeresthellhound · 6 months

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Omg! You have ASPD too?! Come here!

*expresses affection in whatever way is comfortable for you*

I hope that all of your days are good. I hope that you get all of the love and respect and attention you deserve (which is a fuckton btw). I hope that your boredom is less severe today than it was yesterday and less severe tomorrow than it was today. I hope that no one ever makes a weird remark about empathy to you. I hope you find $100 on the ground. I hope that your favourite song sounds even better than usual.

You are cool, you are fun, you are smart, you are capable. You deserve love. You deserve respect. You deserve compassion.

I don’t know any of you so this will most likely come across as disingenuous but I don’t care. I truly have such a love for people who also have ASPD, it’s as an extension of having love for myself

#also if you have aspd please feel free to message me :3 #aspd tag #aspd #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #cluster b #psychopath #sociopath #mental health #mental health positivity #positivity

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bpdcodone · 17 days

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Need more ASPD/NPD moots😭‼️

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neurosharky · 2 months

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The Parts of ASPD That You Don't See

This post will only contain my personal experience and opinion. It may not be applicable to every other person with ASPD and may likewise be relatable for people who do not have it.

This post aims to educate, provide insight and contribute to the diversity of ASPD experiences. It is not gonna try to excuse any harmful actions/beliefs, nor does it want to encourage others to imitate those.

Once again, this is just my own experience and does not speak for the whole community, nor is it a reflection of my actual current actions or how good of a person I am.

Abbreviations:

ASPD = Antisocial Personality Disorder

In my time as a mental health (and specifically ASPD) educator on instagram I have published a total of 65 ASPD themed posts and have written countless answers to peoples questions and rambles on my story and in my direct messages.

If you would read most of that, you would have a pretty good understanding of my ASPD symptoms and ways this condition affects me, but you would still be missing quite a bunch of things.

So this my attempt at showing you some things I have not talked about (at all or much) yet, in order to contribute to more accurate representation, as well as practising vulnerability:

1. Whenever I am confronted with someones suffering, misery, hurt, etc. my first thought is not kind or pleasant. Even if that person is my friend, my family member, or someone suffering from something I equally suffer from. My first thought will always be mean, insulting and full of blame towards the other person. In my head I will scream at you to be less sensitive, that its all your fault, that I wish you'd stop whining and bother someone else with it. If I do not feel like engaging with it at all, my next few thoughts will be equally mean and I will rationalize not having to help you or engage with you, until it looks like the most logical way for me to proceed.

2. If I do feel like engaging with someone who is suffering, or if I have to, in order to socialize, make friends, keep friends, etc. it takes a lot of effort and work for me to do it right. You will never see that effort and work, you will never be able to appreciate it and for that I despise you, even if its not your fault or responsibility. It makes me irrationally angry if people do not thank me properly for doing the bare minimum and do not appreciate me helping them, being kind and being a good friend. Being kind, for me, is keeping my ASPD at bay, like a rabid dog on a chain and doing the exact opposite of what my brain is telling me to do. I have to choose to do that every single day in every single moment, every single interaction, time and time again, while desiring a level of appreciation for it, that no one can ever fulfill. This makes it even harder to choose kindness again, because it does not give me what I yearn for, yet I do it, because at least I'll get something in return, even if it will never be enough.

3. I am not always able to handle my money responsibly. If you would leave me alone in a casino and I would start playing a game, I would not stop until I lose everything, because I already cannot stop myself from doing that in online games with game currency. Next to that I am incapable of stopping myself from buying something once I decided I want it. If I want something, I'll get it and I'll bad talk everything else, just so I get what I want. I can rationalize any purchase, so I actively have to avoid things where I know I couldn't control myself, as well as constantly remind myself that luxury isn't needed, even tho thats all I desire. ASPDs impulsivity, irresponsibility and the disregard for everything else, make it hard to keep myself in check and I despise not being in control of myself. On top of that it makes me irrationally angry to see people criticize the lifestyle I wanna have, despite knowing that they're theoretically right about the base thought.

4. I am angry at myself for being scared of things, for being incredibly soft at times, for needing a specific level of care, for needing help, for not being able to live entirely independently, for not having been more careful with my choices years ago, for having let people hurt me, for still being affected by my trauma, etc. In short I am angry with myself, for not actually being that cold ruthless genius my ASPD tried to make me. I feel as if I failed my own brain & by extension myself, by not even properly becoming what it wanted me to be. My brain tried to protect me and I couldn't even let it do that, because I just had to be a soft little baby and cling to certain parts of my childhood & personality. Part of this hatred is internalized ableism, but part of it is also just an inability to accept, that its okay to be like this now, because there is no longer a threat I need to be protected from and even if there was, I can do it on my own now.

5. Being in recovery and having moved on from some of my more harmful behaviours, beliefs and views, as well as being a little more responsible & knowledgable about social rules, also means, that I now get to look back on my childhood, teens and early adulthood and get to see all of the mistakes I made, that I previously could not see. I get to see all of the bad decisions, all of the ways in which I may have permanently harmed people and in their eyes I will forever be that person. I can't feel sorry for what I've done, I can't have emotional empathy with them, but I can still wish I had not done those things & fuck I wish I hadn't. I hate that for most of the people who have ever known me, I will be the villain in their story and I hate that if any of them were to ever publicly call me out, they would never be able to understand why I did what I did, how much I have changed and that none of it was ever personal (as well as that some things where I broke social rules were never even intentional). It partially terrifies me and partially makes me me wish I had known better (next to wishing I had never been damaged enough to do it in the first place).

6. It makes you feel so far removed from being human, when you just cannot do what everyone else does. I wish I could form deep bonds, I wish I could cry more, I wish I was emotionally moved by sad scenes & people passing, I wish I could love deeply, I wish I could be really passionately involved in fandoms, I wish I could feel happiness for others, I wish I could experience deep levels of guilt & shame so I know what its like to feel remorse...I just really wish I could be that deeply connected with other beings around me. I know its not always fun, I know its exhausting and I know it hurts and on most days I am glad I don't have to go trough that, but on some days I just crave being that level of human and wish I knew what its truly like, because no description will ever suffice. I know that I am still human, even if I have ASPD, but it just doesn't feel the same when you don't have access to a huge majority of the human social features, that are supposed to define us. Its lonely, its othering and it just sucks, even tho I can appreciate my brain trying to protect me.

That was just six things and I am running out of space, so heres an incomplete bullet point list with little to no explanation:

• the constant fight between survival & what it could be like if I truly tried to thrive

• receiving disgusted or weird looks in every conversation, because you are just so obviously different when you socialize and switching between being angry about it & terrified by it

• having way too many "well that could have hurt/k*lled me" moments, because little danger awareness & care for urself

• denying yourself parts of life, because your brain thinks they make you "weak" or you said you didn't care about them and now you can't let people see you care, because you know they'll make fun of it/you, which is why you developed a no care attitude in the first place

• people describing people like you as lazy, immature, not deserving of good things etc. and having that fuck with your progress, self esteem & identity

• knowing that people will always believe others over you, because you are the lying manipulating cunning guy, even when you tell the truth & knowing you can't do shit about it

first posted on my insta account (same @)

#actually aspd #aspd #mental health education #antisocial personality disorder #mental health #antisocial #aspd awareness #aspd feels #aspd thoughts #aspd safe #aspd stigma #aspd tag #aspd traits #aspd things #aspd mood #mental heath awareness

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violentviolette · 2 months

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Can you talk a little bit about crossovers in ASPD, ADHD, and Austism?

there's honestly a lot. having autism/adhd put u at a higher risk for childhood abuse and neglect and the specific ways that autistic in particular but adhd kids as well get mistreated and abused are very likely to cause cluster b disorders which is one probable reason for the amount of overlap and comorbidity between the three

for aspd in particular some of the overlapping symptoms are things like:

low distress tolerence

low overstimulation threshold

chronic understimulation/boredom

perseveration on specific thoughts or feelings

demand avoidance/ pathological demand avoidance

oppositional defiance/rejection of outside control and influence

valuing ones own internal sense of logic and understanding over outside influence

rejection of societal and social norms

impulsivity and difficulty not acting on impulses

difficulty with delayed gratification

empathy dysfunction

decision paralysis/ analysis paralysis

maladaptive daydreaming

dissasociation

struggles with anger, irritability, and aggression

executive dysfunction

thats all the ones i can think of rn but this is by no means an exaughstive or comprehensive list. and even within each of those bullet points there's absolutely like, micro lists underneath them of how each of those things presents in a practical manner and the thought processes behind them

for example executive dysfunction, this is often viewed as "irresponsibility" or lack of caring/understanding and is weaponized differently for each. autistic ppl often get infantalized and viewed as too unintelligent or incompitent to understand what to do, while ppl with adhd are viewed as selfishly lazy and not trying hard enough, and then ppl with aspd are viewed as maliciously and purposefully not doing tasks to hurt others. when in reality, all of it stems from the inability to properly order and execute specific tasks in specific ways under specific time constraints without any kind of accomodation

aspd lists a vague and unspecific "biological component" that is required for the disorder to manifest alongside trauma, which lots of people have taken to mean that aspd has some inherent "asshole gene" where ur just born a piece of shit but in realy the "biological component" is nuerodiversity. aspd is the result of prolonged childhood trauma on a nuerodivergent brain. and the most common form of nuerodivergency is autism, with adhd a close second (mostly because in reality these two exist on the same spectrum and are not two distinct things but more like different points on the same graph)

so these things are much less three distinct and completely different catagories and more like a venn diagram that is practically a circle and therefore share a ton of overlap

i hope that was helpful and please feel free to come back and ask more if u want me to expound on any of these points or go into more detail about specific symptoms or similarities

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd safe #actually autistic #adhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #nuerodiversity #cluster b #cluster b pd #actually aspd #actually antisocial #aspd tag #autism

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myaspdnpdnotes · 2 months

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A friend (now no longer) drove me home the other day and the conversation revealed he believes people with personality disorders ~change their voices~ when their ~other personality~ comes out

Let me tell you I almost put his head through the steering wheel

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anotheraspdrager · 7 months

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you'll never convince me that empathy's a real thing, what happens is you see a person in a bad situation and imagine being in their place so you put yourself in a bad mood too, you're not "absorbing or sharing their emotions" you're just making their bad situation about you and assuming they feel the same way as your imaginary self in your imaginary scenario, and you may get it right sometimes but without any guarantee exactly because there's no actual connection between the two emotional states

edit: check the comments before replying thx

#aspd #actually aspd #actuallyaspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #low empathy #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #npd #npd tag #npd thoughts #empathy #empaths #actually narcissistic #narcissist #narcissistic personality disorder

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divinerapturesys · 6 months

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I leaned from (to my knowledge) an unvetted source that AsPD can result in an inability to re-experience a past emotion. If something embarrassing happened yesterday, a person with AsPD might remember the event, but won't feel the embarrassment during that recollection. Someone without AsPD might get embarrassed all over again.

Have you found that to be relatable in any way to your experiences?

It is always a 60/40 for me tbh. My strongest emotion is anger. That runs at 200% while everything else runs at a solid 15%.

I’m much more likely to recall an event that caused me anger at the time, and get angry again, than I am to recall something that made me feel embarassed or guilty and feel those types of emotions again.

I think it’s because my capacity for emotions is so low, that experiencing one’s that are more complex is just fucking harder. Anger is straightforward and easy to understand. Something like guilt though? That’s layers like an onion girliepop and I don’t have the emotional capacity to be dicing and slicing to reach the core every damn time I remember something.

You could also attribute this to survival. People that recall shit that makes them feel embarassed, etc each time? that makes them vulnerable and/or weak to manipulation from the person who made them feel guilty/embarassed, and they will not last very long.

- Kincaid 🩸

#antisocial #antisocial pd #antisocial personality disorder #aspd safe #aspd traits #aspd awareness #aspd thoughts #aspd feels #aspd things #actually aspd #aspd #aspd tag #aspd asks #glitcher system

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numetal-tranny · 2 years

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So like.. Some of y’all don’t have common sense so I’m just gonna say it.

HAVING VIOLENT AND BAD THOUGHTS DOESNT MAKE SOMEONE A BAD PERSON AS LONG AS THEY DONT ACT ON IT.

THAT INCLUDES PEOPLE WHO WILLINGLY HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS.

ITS A FUCKING COPING MECHANISM AND THEY ARENY HURTING ANYONE.

STOP BEING A SANIST PISS BABY ABOUT MAD PEOPLE THINKING CERTAIN THINGS THAT HELP THEM COPE WITH THEIR SYMPTOMS.

IF THEY ARENT HURTING ANYONE OR THEMSELVES THEN MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS.

#low empathy #violent thoughts #aspd safe #aspd tag #npd #aspd #npd safe #bpd #bpd safe #schizophrenic spectrum #scizophrenia #cluster b #personality disorder #mad pride #sanism #rant tag

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thecandyispoisoned · 2 years

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Upsetting people and not knowing why or how but having to apologise anyway because I'm horrid at interpreting emotions and social cues my beloved

#aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #aspd feels #antisocial #aspd thoughts #actuallyaspd #antisocial pd

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clusterrune · 10 months

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aspd terms

so i want to talk about something

i know we have favourite person for bpd and chosen person for npd, the person or people who are the object of our obsession and we view as equal to ourselves respectively (not the *best* description but the basic idea in a short go)

i dont know if theres already terms like that for aspd but id like to give it a go because its heavily impacting my relationships with this "social circle" i have.

i think as a person with antisocial personality disorder, i find it hard and even scary to talk to anyone outside this sphere i have, ranging from having extremely low to no empathy towards people outside the sphere and feeling almost hyperempathy to people further into the sphere. theres certain people i keep in it, people who are both my fp's and cp's, and anyone else i struggle to talk to or otherwise avoid mainly out of discomfort.

i propose we have a term for people we prefer to talk to, a term better than just "social circle". like contact person or interactive person,

a person or people you feel most comfortable conversing with, most of your interactions with people happen with them if any and anyone outside them seems discomforting, bland, dull and/or possibly even scary.

talking to people outside my interactive person/people can cause me terrible anxiety and when something feels off about my conversations with my ip i tend to isolate myself because my brain thinks thats how things will fix.

this is of course heavily co-morbid with my bpd and npd but i feel aspd should have a term as well, because this part i experience very frequently with such a shifting social circle.

this post is less to coin the term(s) more so to open the discussion on the topic so please feel free to add on if you have aspd

but do not derail the post from the topic of aspd and terms we can use for our experience!

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