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#aspd stigma
cemitadepollo · 1 month
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Not a day passes by without me being mad as shit that ableism against demonized mental illnesses is normalised.
We are not criminals. We are not dangerous. We do not owe neurotypicals a complete explanation on why we developed our disorders and why we aren't serial killers that kidnap people.
Fuck hollywood, fuck ableist criminology and fuck saneism.
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Would it not be cool if we could have a post with none ableist tips for how to navigate life with NPD and/or ASPD.
So give me your best tips on how to live with ASPD and/or NPD.
(narc abuse truthers will be banned on sight.)
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a-sip-of-milo · 5 months
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Someone with a cluster b disorder: *tries to educate people on OUR disorders*
Ableists: "No, I'd rather listen to this self-proclaimed "empath" who thinks they can spot a narcissist in the wild, read people's minds and has no real concept of what it means to have a cluster b disorder."
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chaos-in-one · 1 year
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Btw for y'all using abusive people with cluster b disorders (especially npd & aspd) as an excuse to not support us as a whole: not having any proper support system for the disorder and the heavy stigma is literally why there are so many people with these disorders that aren't getting the help they need. It actively pushes more of us away from looking to get help when all we see about the disorder is that admitting we have it will make us loose so much support and be treated like monsters for the rest of our lives.
"Okay so I just support the ones who are getting help" no. You are still part of the problem. All of us deserve support for our disorders regardless, the idea that our support for our mental health is conditional is blatant ableism. You either support all of us on this level or your support isn't real. An individuals shitty actions will never justify being ableist about their disorder.
Not to mention when we aren't doing better, whether that is projected outwardly and hurting other people, inwardly, or both, that is when we need that support the most. It doesn't mean you are supporting us hurting people, no one is saying you should, including those of us with these disorders who do have a history of it causing harmful behavior. We are simply saying that we still deserve to have our disorder supported, us having access to basic things like mental health treatment supported, how our disorder affects us supported, not being treated differently for having the disorder by itself and for non harmful symptoms. If you loose that type of support for any of us because of those of us who are harmful to others, you are ableist.
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neurosharky · 2 months
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The Parts of ASPD That You Don't See
This post will only contain my personal experience and opinion. It may not be applicable to every other person with ASPD and may likewise be relatable for people who do not have it.
This post aims to educate, provide insight and contribute to the diversity of ASPD experiences. It is not gonna try to excuse any harmful actions/beliefs, nor does it want to encourage others to imitate those.
Once again, this is just my own experience and does not speak for the whole community, nor is it a reflection of my actual current actions or how good of a person I am.
Abbreviations:
ASPD = Antisocial Personality Disorder
In my time as a mental health (and specifically ASPD) educator on instagram I have published a total of 65 ASPD themed posts and have written countless answers to peoples questions and rambles on my story and in my direct messages.
If you would read most of that, you would have a pretty good understanding of my ASPD symptoms and ways this condition affects me, but you would still be missing quite a bunch of things.
So this my attempt at showing you some things I have not talked about (at all or much) yet, in order to contribute to more accurate representation, as well as practising vulnerability:
1. Whenever I am confronted with someones suffering, misery, hurt, etc. my first thought is not kind or pleasant. Even if that person is my friend, my family member, or someone suffering from something I equally suffer from. My first thought will always be mean, insulting and full of blame towards the other person. In my head I will scream at you to be less sensitive, that its all your fault, that I wish you'd stop whining and bother someone else with it. If I do not feel like engaging with it at all, my next few thoughts will be equally mean and I will rationalize not having to help you or engage with you, until it looks like the most logical way for me to proceed.
2. If I do feel like engaging with someone who is suffering, or if I have to, in order to socialize, make friends, keep friends, etc. it takes a lot of effort and work for me to do it right. You will never see that effort and work, you will never be able to appreciate it and for that I despise you, even if its not your fault or responsibility. It makes me irrationally angry if people do not thank me properly for doing the bare minimum and do not appreciate me helping them, being kind and being a good friend. Being kind, for me, is keeping my ASPD at bay, like a rabid dog on a chain and doing the exact opposite of what my brain is telling me to do. I have to choose to do that every single day in every single moment, every single interaction, time and time again, while desiring a level of appreciation for it, that no one can ever fulfill. This makes it even harder to choose kindness again, because it does not give me what I yearn for, yet I do it, because at least I'll get something in return, even if it will never be enough.
3. I am not always able to handle my money responsibly. If you would leave me alone in a casino and I would start playing a game, I would not stop until I lose everything, because I already cannot stop myself from doing that in online games with game currency. Next to that I am incapable of stopping myself from buying something once I decided I want it. If I want something, I'll get it and I'll bad talk everything else, just so I get what I want. I can rationalize any purchase, so I actively have to avoid things where I know I couldn't control myself, as well as constantly remind myself that luxury isn't needed, even tho thats all I desire. ASPDs impulsivity, irresponsibility and the disregard for everything else, make it hard to keep myself in check and I despise not being in control of myself. On top of that it makes me irrationally angry to see people criticize the lifestyle I wanna have, despite knowing that they're theoretically right about the base thought.
4. I am angry at myself for being scared of things, for being incredibly soft at times, for needing a specific level of care, for needing help, for not being able to live entirely independently, for not having been more careful with my choices years ago, for having let people hurt me, for still being affected by my trauma, etc. In short I am angry with myself, for not actually being that cold ruthless genius my ASPD tried to make me. I feel as if I failed my own brain & by extension myself, by not even properly becoming what it wanted me to be. My brain tried to protect me and I couldn't even let it do that, because I just had to be a soft little baby and cling to certain parts of my childhood & personality. Part of this hatred is internalized ableism, but part of it is also just an inability to accept, that its okay to be like this now, because there is no longer a threat I need to be protected from and even if there was, I can do it on my own now.
5. Being in recovery and having moved on from some of my more harmful behaviours, beliefs and views, as well as being a little more responsible & knowledgable about social rules, also means, that I now get to look back on my childhood, teens and early adulthood and get to see all of the mistakes I made, that I previously could not see. I get to see all of the bad decisions, all of the ways in which I may have permanently harmed people and in their eyes I will forever be that person. I can't feel sorry for what I've done, I can't have emotional empathy with them, but I can still wish I had not done those things & fuck I wish I hadn't. I hate that for most of the people who have ever known me, I will be the villain in their story and I hate that if any of them were to ever publicly call me out, they would never be able to understand why I did what I did, how much I have changed and that none of it was ever personal (as well as that some things where I broke social rules were never even intentional). It partially terrifies me and partially makes me me wish I had known better (next to wishing I had never been damaged enough to do it in the first place).
6. It makes you feel so far removed from being human, when you just cannot do what everyone else does. I wish I could form deep bonds, I wish I could cry more, I wish I was emotionally moved by sad scenes & people passing, I wish I could love deeply, I wish I could be really passionately involved in fandoms, I wish I could feel happiness for others, I wish I could experience deep levels of guilt & shame so I know what its like to feel remorse...I just really wish I could be that deeply connected with other beings around me. I know its not always fun, I know its exhausting and I know it hurts and on most days I am glad I don't have to go trough that, but on some days I just crave being that level of human and wish I knew what its truly like, because no description will ever suffice. I know that I am still human, even if I have ASPD, but it just doesn't feel the same when you don't have access to a huge majority of the human social features, that are supposed to define us. Its lonely, its othering and it just sucks, even tho I can appreciate my brain trying to protect me.
That was just six things and I am running out of space, so heres an incomplete bullet point list with little to no explanation:
• the constant fight between survival & what it could be like if I truly tried to thrive
• receiving disgusted or weird looks in every conversation, because you are just so obviously different when you socialize and switching between being angry about it & terrified by it
• having way too many "well that could have hurt/k*lled me" moments, because little danger awareness & care for urself
• denying yourself parts of life, because your brain thinks they make you "weak" or you said you didn't care about them and now you can't let people see you care, because you know they'll make fun of it/you, which is why you developed a no care attitude in the first place
• people describing people like you as lazy, immature, not deserving of good things etc. and having that fuck with your progress, self esteem & identity
• knowing that people will always believe others over you, because you are the lying manipulating cunning guy, even when you tell the truth & knowing you can't do shit about it
first posted on my insta account (same @)
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antisocialcultureis · 19 days
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aromantic/arospec aspd culture is getting very rare "crushes" on people (only ever one at a time, usually strikes fast when it happens but never when you're already in a relationship with someone who you've had a "crush" on, etc), until eventually you realize that those "crushes" aren't crushes, but are actually you developing an exception, and it just presents like "romantic" attraction because you very easily get territorial, protective, jealous, etc over your exceptions because they're the only people you feel like you can actually care about.
oops
Aromantic/arospec aspd culture is!
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cut-n-snared · 5 days
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i wish i could live in a world where the people in charge just had hearts. people call narcs evil. they aren’t.
most of the people who run this planet are neurotypical and greedy. homophobic, ableist and racist assholes who would let it still be legal to prosecute and get us lobotomised because being us isn’t ‘natural’ if the press didn’t put so much pressure on them for equality
don’t blame the already traumatized and mentally ill. we just want to live.
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takeyourcyanide · 26 days
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This is another personal rant, except I’ll be talking more on my “antisocial/psychopathic” traits and the annoying asshats I’ve dealt with.
I cannot fucking stand these neurotypical, hypocritical bastards who like to position themselves as morally superior to me simply because I never developed a sense of morality. I know this sounds weird, but let me explain. Their morality is conditional. My lack thereof is not. The moment they come across anyone who even slightly differs from their idea of what is “normal,” they throw all of their “kindness matters,” “empathy matters,” and “mental health matters” shit out of the window, and treat the individual as though they are subhuman, ultimately ostracizing them. I don’t fucking do that. Yeah, sure, I don’t really have a moral compass, but for one, I’ve tried to and my brain just can’t develop one, and two, my voidness of one never changes based off of a person’s personality, clothing, appearance, etc. And you’re only pretending to be sweet for the sake of seeming morally superior anyway. It’s all performative.
And to further go on, I remember being like three and witnessing how people like me were treated. They were treated like violent, disobedient mutts that needed to be beat and whipped into submission, and by the same people who went on and on about “faith,” “hope,” and fucking “love.” You have absolutely no goddamn right to judge me when you’re not even an equal opportunity offender. At least I admit that I’m not a kind person. You are even more of a fraud than I’ve ever had to be. I find it funny how these same people go on about mental health, but the moment you’ve never felt guilt, suddenly you’re the monster under their bed. The moment you’re anything but anxious (even then, they’re iffy), you’re scum.
They don’t understand what it’s like to never have the privilege of being yourself. They don’t even realize that being able to be yourself is, in fact, a privilege. They don’t understand what it’s like to desperately want to be free, to just do as you please, and be what you genuinely are. I saw one psychopath describe it once as their real self never being able to experience the world. Precisely. Because the world is essentially pinned against you, deeming you an unlovable pile of shit, your genuine self can never fully, never truly experience the world around you. All I’ve ever wanted is to be myself and do whatever I want to (you can only imagine why I post Stein so much lmao), but I’ll never be able to. I don’t say that for pity btw, it’s just frustrating.
At the end of the day, it’s not the fact that they view me as subhuman that bothers me. I couldn’t give two shits how they view me. It’s the fact that they won’t admit to it that annoys me to no ends.
I just want to let loose. There’s a part of me that almost wants it all to consume me, to just give into it. Oh well
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alostlittleriverlotus · 7 months
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I kinda love to exist unmasked because I can just freak out shitty people. I will force you to see a psychotic antisocial narcissistic person in the wild. I will force you to see me exist as a traumatized individual. I will force you to see the "scary" mentally ill people. Cause we fucking exist and we don't deserve to be fucking demonized.
So yes, I exist out in public unmasked best I can which is usually on the internet since I never leave my house basically and force people to deal with seeing me and filling up spaces when they fear scary disorders or demonize them. And it fuels my narcissism so much to know that people see me and are freaked out by me.
Also doing this to my parents. I will be the fucking freak hugging a jester comfort character plushie that talks to themselves and stims. I will be fucking angry and frustrated and say my disturbing intrusive thoughts or self harm urges. I will force you to have to exist around a scary mental illness because you can't be fucking normal about me. And your fear will fuel my ego to no end.
Also like just be fucking normal about psychotic people and shit. Like. Anyone with a demonized mental disorder or some shit. If you're uncomfortable, that's not my problem. And if you're the type to stigmatize narcissists and antisocials and borderlines and most personality disorders with (disorder) abuse then I love forcing you to see people like me even more. Because you fucking suck and should try to educate yourself and realize most likely traumatized mentally ill people are NOT your enemy and we are not abusers. So yes. I will flood narcissist tags with my narcissistic ass so it is "unsafe" for narc abuse people. I will reclaim the antisocial tags from the asocial introverted people that flooded it. I will exist as someone with a personality disorder in abuse tags when talking about my abuse because guess what, we're fucking victims too. Cause those tags DO apply to us. And I'm sick of having ultra specific personality disorder spaces being the only safe space for us cause even the rest of the neurodivergent/mental illness community has fucking shunned us and many people will continue to demonize us or believe that we are evil or abusive or scary and use our disorders to talk about the absolute worst people ever.
(This is aimed at the people that are ableist towards us and use terms like psychopath, sociopath, and narcissist in derogatory ways or use delusional and psychotic and psycho against people etc. If you aren't willing to learn why that's harmful then yes, I hope you're uncomfortable. And also aimed at my parents and family for finding me odd, weird, creepy, scary, freaky, and other things cause I know the way people look and stare at me.)
This is a mix of internet/in person things so it may go back and forth a bit since I'm thinking of multiple examples of when I've done this to create this post.
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cemitadepollo · 1 year
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@tragicallyphosphorescent
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You see, the thing about "sociopaths" it's that they're not real. If you open a psychology book, as you apparently hint to have done at some point, you'll discover that the term you're using isn't only scientifically inaccurate, but an outdated and harmful term used to refer to people with ASPD– Anti-Social Personality Disorder. This cluster B disorder is developed as a coping mechanism by people who suffer from childhood neglect, so people demonize literal abuse survivors for their little "serial killer abuser sociopath" fantasy that they saw in their favorite true crime movie. I would love to know where did you get the objective fact that most "sociopaths" don't seek treatment and hurt people.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, otherwise known as NPD or just "narcissists", is a disorder that's classified in the cluster B category of personality disorders according to the DSM-V, this disorder is also developed because of childhood neglect. People love to armchair diagnose their abusers with this disorder under the ignorant belief that narcissistic people are selfish and that's it, it's used as an interchangeable term, which couldn't be further from reality. So no, I don't believe in "narcissistic abuse". Abuse is just abuse, an abuser is just an abuser, there's no need to slap anything else alongisde that label.
Just because a manifestation of trauma is different it doesn't mean it's bad. People with ASPD and NPD are as likely to abuse someone as a person without them. Lacking empathy doesn't make someone a bad person, empathy is just the capability to instinctually feel another human's feelings, but it's not the same as sympathy or compassion. A good person is one who's actions do good.
Now, I'm not invalidating the abuse anyone has gone through. If you tell me somebody, anybody, abused you, I believe you. But there's no need to demonize disorders in order to find support or validation.
You can find a free PDF of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th edition (DSM-V) easily on the internet, no need to buy the book itself. I suggest you give it a read to clear up that whole "sociopath" thing and to educate yourself more on the narcissistic personality disorder. As a disclaimer, the DSM-V is highly discussed by the neurodivergent community on a regular basis and some individuals, including myself, have a word or two about certain criteria that needs to be met to get a diagnosis, but I'm advising you to read it as a start.
Sincerely, a borderline with fluctuating empathy that's very tired of watching their cluster B siblings get denied treatment and dignity, because in case you didn't know this, lots of us actively seek treatment but get deemed "too hard to treat" or get actively abused by the medic system IF we are even allowed some sort of therapy. As a neurodivergent person, I'd assume you know of the kinds of horrors people like you and me suffer in psych wards, except people with personality disorders and other demonized illnesses still get thrown around and abused since our disorders aren't deemed as "harmless" as people who suffer from depression and anxiety or people with autism.
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Just as a friendly reminder it impossible to stop child abuse on a global level if you are ableist towards people with childhood trauma disorders.
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a-sip-of-milo · 3 months
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“Commonly resulting in persistent anti-social deviance and criminal behaviour” shut the fuck up. No it does not. There is very little correlation between ASPD and being criminals aside from what your ableist mindset assumes there to be.
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chaos-in-one · 1 year
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Okay but damn I wish the cluster b positivity had more than just "dw you aren't abusive for your disorder!!! You aren't automatically a monster like people think for it!!!!"
I get why it's there, there's times I really need to hear that, but a lot of the time it's just a giant reminder that I'm seen like that by most people. I want to be able to have positivity like I see for other disorders that ISN'T a giant reminder of how bad the stigma is, that doesn't draw attention to the ableists against it.
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neurosharky · 2 months
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An Open Letter to the ASPD community
Hi,
So I've been asked to comment on a little issue, that I absolutely agree needs adressing, and I thought that an open letter format might be the best way of doing it! It allows for a bit more freedom with wordings, because this is just my personal letter to the community and not me trying to speak for everyone.
I've been one of the first few accounts that started talking about ASPD here on instagram (and was actively involved on twitter and tumblr before that), so I've been part of the community for a pretty long time and have seen it grow and change a lot! We have overall been able to make a pretty substantial amount of people aware of the stigma that we face, have shown them a lot of different examples as to why we developed our condition and continue to broaden the diversity of the ASPD experience.
But just like with any community, we have some internal issues, that yes sometimes we do actually have to adress and then reflect on!
These issues aren't instagram specific and I actually see them less on instagram than in other places like the ASPD subreddits, tiktok and tumblr, but as I have indeed been receiving DMs with this type of stuff ever since I started here, I do want to use my presence on this platform to adress it!
These mentioned DMs usually consist of a stranger telling me, that I cannot have ASPD, because I do not fit their personal idea of what ASPD looks like. They tell me its because I am too soft, because my aesthetic is too cute, because I love stuffed animals, because I care about sharks, because I experience some emotions intensely, because I am in recovery, because I talk positively about my family, or because I struggle with things that "real people with ASPD" would not struggle with.
I'll be entirely honest with you: its tiring and also a little confusing to me, because is this not what we are trying to do on here? To make people with ASPD seem more like humans than monsters? To educate about the symptoms & dangers yes, but to also point out that next to that we are people living our everyday lifes, just like everyone else?
Are we not trying to fight against the stigma painting us as inherently emotionless evil criminals? Are we not trying to bring more awareness to the diversity of how ASPD can present itself in someone? Are we not trying to teach society, that certain traits do not mean we are inherently something and to understand that we are capable of being their friends, partners, neighbours and parents?
I confess myself confused, because I thought we had moved past this ridiculous belief, that everyone with ASPD has as many emotions as a brick and that we only have two destined life paths: gang boss or prison inhabitant. Do you not feel ridiculous when you preach you are a human being capable of living life, just to turn around and tell someone who is doing exactly that, that they can't have ASPD?
Do you not realize that you are judging them based on the same ableist beliefs you have been judged under all your life? Because if you do not realize that, oh boy, do I get you, oh boy do I understand you, because I did not either. I spend such a large amount of my life thinking that I had to be that monster everyone saw in me, that I had no chance at an actually nice life, that I was destined to just rot in prison and be the thing everyone hates. I denied myself my dreams, my emotions, my hobbies, my true beliefs and personality leanings, heck I denied myself certain versions of my future, because I thought that I could not be that. That it was impossible for people with ASPD to be in happy relationships, to study at university, to have a favourite animal that means the world to them, to rekindle their relationship to their family...
And isn't that sad? Isn't it sad how I thought that I had to deny myself happiness, just because that is what societies stigma tried to tell me? I think that it is quite sad actually and I kinda hate that so many people with ASPD still seem to be caught up in that. I mean I haven't shaken it entirely, thats for sure! I still despise showing weakness and having to admit to it! I still have internalized stuff to work trough! But do you know what I'm not doing?
I am not going around telling others that they can't be happy. I am not going around telling others that them being in recovery & living their lifes means they don't have ASPD or that they misrepresent the community. I am not trying to shame them back into their bad habits. I am not trying to make them feel so insecure about their diagnosis, that they fall back into their old patterns. Because I know better now.
I know that people with ASPD can be the cutest softest animal loving people.
I know that they can be in healthy relationships and friendships.
I know that they can have hobbies, a career and a family.
I know that they can feel emotions, some of them really intense, others maybe not so much.
I know that no person with ASPD is the exact same as the other.
I know that they can choose recovery & be sucessfull in it.
And I know that my own dislike for "weakness" and my own discomfort with the sides of myself that I have been taught to despise, are not an excuse to make other people feel bad about themselves & take that dislike/discomfort out on them.
Theres just one question that remains: Do you know that as well and if yes, are you ready to act like it?
~ Liam 🦈
Out of letter end note:
Trying to insist that people with ASPD have to adhere to the descriptions that you connect to them & telling them that they cannot ever change, is discouraging them from recovery.
Telling people with ASPD, that they cannot have emotions, is directly ignoring the DSM criteria point that recognizes aggressive outbursts, as well as ignoring the literal emotional erractic cluster it is in (aka Cluster B).
Claiming that a trauma based condition dictates your interests, what colors & animals you are allowed to like, your personality traits outside of your condition, which aesthetic you have to have on social media and what type of clothes you are allowed to wear is frankly so ridiculous, that I don't even know what to say.
You are not immune to internalized ableism & making people feel unsafe in the community. You do not personally have to like the things they do, but being shitty to them about it, just because its what you internalized is not the way to go.
First posted on my instagram (same @)
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antisocialcultureis · 20 days
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aspd culture is wanting to find somone bad then harass them
Aspd culture is!
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catsanddemonssystem · 23 days
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Prison should only be used on the most extreme cases. (Rape, murder, hate crimes, exteme personal property damage) 90% of the people in jail shouldn't be there. People in jail should still have a high standard of living. The point of jail should be to isolate dangerous people in tell they can be rehabilitated so they can't do harm not to punish someone.
The criminal justice system should be based on restorative justice and rehabilitation not punishment. Sorry but fuck your desire for revenge.
Criminal background check should only be used when working with valuable people. Criminal background checks are just used to target mentally ill people and bipoc people.
People who belong to groups who suffer from mass incarceration (indigenous people, black people and NPD/ASPD people) should receive the minimum punishment and should never be given a felony.
When a plea deal is given the is no time restriction on it and the guilty party should be allowed to choose between the plea deal and the sentence chosen by the jury.
There should be three trails. The first one is to see if the arrest is justified. The second one should be if the person did the crime and the last one should be what the punishment for the crime will be. Plea bargains should not be a thing before the 3rd trail. (Yes your tax dollars are going to pay for this)
Cops should be 100% disarmed. (This includes teargas, teasers, riot gear, bullet proof vest) Being a cop is a choice but being indigenous, black, a narcissist or a sociopath isn't.
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