the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.

seeing things like "how to TORTURE and KILL a NARCISSIST" isn't very fun, imagine if we made things called "HOW TO SLAUGHTER AND MAKE AN EMPATH BLEED OUT!!!!!" i think we would get shot

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful, they deserve to be proud for all that they have survived especially with such a distressing disorder

Survivors of domestic violence: narcissistic abuse is real.

Survivors of childhood violence: narcissistic abuse is real.

Survivors of emotional and psychological abuse: narcissistic abuse is real.

Loved ones of survivors: narcissistic abuse is real.

Therapists specialising in abuse recovery: narcissistic abuse is real.

Experts in abnormal psychology: narcissistic abuse is real.

People with CTPSD: narcissistic abuse is real.

Psychologists studying the effect of long term abuse on the brain: narcissistic abuse is real.

People with diagnosed cluster B disorders: narcissistic abuse is real.

Disabled people who are more likely to be abused than abled people: narcissistic abuse is real.

The therapy prescribed to people diagnosed with cluster B disorders: narcissistic abuse is real.

Self identified "narcissists" on tumblr: nuh-uh.

Narcissistic abuse doesn’t exist. People with NPD are not inherently abusive and are more likely to be abused than to be abusers.

The ableist poem that was shared was disgusting and staff should’ve never allowed it to be blazed.

So instead I’m blazing this post, to tell people with NPD that you are all amazing.

I almost can't believe I have to say this but the weird more recent uptick in celebration for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is genuinely sickening because you people don't realize you're PRIMING yourselves to become victims of the very specific kind of abuse that certain people with NPD dole out. And because most of y'all on this site specifically have massive issues with reading comprehension let me explicitly state that I'm not at all saying that every person with NPD is an inherent abuser, but what I AM saying is that NPD (just like BPD, or any other disorder), is a DIS-ORDER that requires various forms of TREATMENT and WORK on the person's part to assist the disordered individual to become more interpersonally, socially, vocationally, and broadly successful in their lives. Rampantly untreated NPD that isn't controlled by the individual with the condition leaves MUCH more room for the person to become abusive in a very specific way.

This is why narcissistic abuse IS a real thing. I will even concede that pop culture psychology/Instagram therapy culture is largely unproductive on the subject because it lacks the nuance of the actual human condition, but on the subject of nuance, the widespread conversation regarding recognizing the signs of how narcissistic abuse begins will save more lives than people with NPD's feelings are bruised. And now to tie in the point from my first sentence, all of you who are expressing support and lauding people with NPD, whether you know it or not, are painting a fucking target on your backs. It bears repeating that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is exactly that, a DISORDER, with a set of symptoms that are DISRUPTIVE to not only the individual with the condition but also to those they interact with should they go untreated and uncontrolled. So as you're proclaiming your undying blanket support to a group of individuals with a disorder who, left untreated, exhibit symptoms that are inherently disruptive and antithetical to healthy interpersonal relationships, remember one of the main categorical symptoms of NPD is the massively skewed sense of grandiosity and self importance; in simpler terms, you could be contributing incredibly negatively to that malignant sense of entitlement.

People with NPD, just like any other psychological condition/personality disorder/mental illness, should be encouraged to seek help and treatment, not egged on to continue to believe and act harmfully and irrationally as a result of their disorder. Think before you fucking speak on something you definitely don't understand, because the only thing better for a narcissist than a clueless person is someone who publicly accepts their disorder and will welcome them into their lives despite their behavior.

narc abuse is real and anyone who disagrees is prioritizing someone's hurt feelings over someone's severe abuse.

I know I can knock out all my work tasks today. Intellectually, I KNOW. I am getting stronger every day.

But I just put in a request to get disability services from my employer again.

I need to cover my bases.

I hate that anything programming or statistical (essentially my whole job) causes trauma freezes.

I hate that my ex/spouse's lawyer (and my ex/spouse) lied to my lawyer about how we were both responsible for our own health insurance.

I feel like this needs to be reiterated: my able-bodied, autistic, queer spouse kicked out (and threatened, abused, yelled at, made life hell-ish) their disabled, autistic, chronically ill, queer partner (me) out of the home that I paid for (rent, utilities, apt insurance, health insurance, food, etc.) (yes, they contributed money to those things but I did most of the emotional and financial labor of it all). They promised to put me on their health insurance but didn't. They cheated me out of so much. They put me in complete disarray not just for that period of time but for months and months and months. I bet they were hoping I'd just kill myself. They thought I was, you know. That's why they were going to take my medication away but their mom told them not to.

As I told my therapist and psychiatrist several times, I would have absolutely killed myself (if they didn't kill me first somehow) if I didn't leave. I would have done it while telling them I loved them so much. That's how bad the narcissistic abuse was.

I know I've been grieving in all sorts of ways. And I do believe that they need help. They absolutely do. I wish the best for them, and I truly don't want them to die.

But they made my life miserable, and I am trying my best to get my own sense of justice and peace the best way I know how.

I could have (and my friends think I should have) done worse. (aka press charges)

I wasn't even going to file the PFA. I wasn't even going to do anything. I was just going to do what I've always done and start over.

They left me in shambles while they and their ex and their friends all think I'm the "real abuser" and laugh at me. Their lawyer thinks I'm being vindictive and punitive.

They're laughing at a chronically disabled (I pee blood when I'm stressed y'all... amongst other things), autistic, trans person of color who grew up as an immigrant and poor (sometimes middle-class) child in the country who suffered horrific childhood and other partner abuse. My ex/spouse knew all of that. They knew I'd been raped and assaulted and abused.

Do you realize that? Do you know how fucked up that is?

They're laughing while my ex/spouse makes ~150k/yr and has the LUXURY of not going to doctor/dentist/therapy/whatever appointments because they're way more abled than I am....

They wouldn't even be making that much if I didn't emotionally and financially support us while they quit their job to do extra training and education to get that job.

I guess I'm just good enough to be used and tossed away.

They're laughing while my ex/spouse hires a more expensive lawyer just to bully me into not getting enough spousal support and other asset costs, while I'm financially trying to rebuild.

And I am trying my best to live my life now. I grieve and cry every single day. You don't see it in my social media pictures, but I do. My heart and brain are full of love, life, and curiosity... but I am still grieving hardcore. And I will be for a very long time.

Most narcissistic abuse survivors grieve for... years.

whenever i hear or see those “how to kill/defeat a narcissist” websites and shit it baffles me. like you’re telling me you want to kill rarity? you want to kill rainbow dash? you want to kill papyrus undertale? deadass?

with how horribly narcissists are treated i could say my parents used to hit me and people would tell me i manipulated them into doing it

Why would you expect people who were abused and traumatized to not be upset when you label them as an abuser because of how their brain coped with the abuse and trauma?

Daily reminder that "narcissistic abuse" does not mean "abused by a person who has NPD"

You can have NPD and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have BPD and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have ASPD and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have Histrionic PD and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have autism and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have a schizophrenia and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have bipolar disorder and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have depression and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have generalised anxiety disorder and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have ADHD and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have dyslexia and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have tourettes syndrome and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have PTSD and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can be a drug or alcohol addict and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have an eating disorder and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have OCD and chose to narcissistically abuse someone.

You can have no disorder at all and choose to narcissistically abuse someone.

Because narcissism is not a mental disorder, narcissistically abusing someone is not a symptom of a disorder it's a choice, and fucking anyone can chose to narcissistically abuse another person.

What y’all call “narc” abuse, was done to me by a fellow Borderline. It’s emotional abuse through and through, not some form of abuse hyper specific to NPD. No, she was not a co-morbid narcissist. She was just a controlling bitch using me to give her some feeling of control over her life. This isn’t about narcissists, it’s about, frequently fellow trauma victims, turning their trauma back on us to secure a feeling of control and power. Don’t get it wrong.

johnny depp won!

i know i'm SUPER late to the party, but i think it's still worth celebrating that Johnny Depp won his case against the defendant! (i will no longer say her name because it will get her more attention and it is disrespectful to keep saying the abuser's name whenever you mention the victim.) anyways, also a reminder that narcissistic abuse is REAL. It may or may not be what JD went through, BUT IT IS REAL. Plus he won his case on world narcissistic abuse awareness day, so the world was able to acknowledge it!! This is not a hate post for people with NPD as they do have struggles too, but there are many with that disorder who abuse people and claim to be the victim, much like the defendant did. anyone who doesn't believe that narcissistic abuse is real and/or supports the defendant, please go fuck yourself and do not interact with my account.

Isn’t it ironic how people ableist towards pwNPD are the most egotistical assholes you’ll ever know.