i-love--you
healing 💙
i know that there is love in this world because i am here and i am full of it.i love all of you dearly <3 asks and DMs open :)
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Losing people is ok, u survive. Losing yourself that’s hard
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“slut era” i whisper to myself as i rot in my bed, sick like a frail victorian child
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my favorite relationship is the one between humans and dandelions. in childhood we instinctively blow on its little fuzzy seed carriers. we take the role of the wind, we help the dandelions in a crucial part of their lives, and in return we get a wish and a moment of happiness. this is how nature is meant to work. we are just as unaware of our goodness as the honey bees are, pollinating the flowers
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Just Chronic Fatigue Things
feeling so tired you might pass out
never feeling like you’ve slept - ever
forgetting what you’re going to say 100 times a day
being too tired to sleep
sleeping for 4/8/12 hours and feeling just as tired
needing a nap after being away for 3 hours
muscle aches
waking up feeling like you have the flu
waking up feeling like you’ve been hit by a freight train
your legs not wanting to work after walking up a small hill or the stairs
nausea
sensory overload, e.g. loud cafés, pubs or anywhere making you feel dizzy
anxiety
being too tired to remember the symptoms of your own illness
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You know what people don’t talk about often enough? Playing catch up in life after spending your teens or early 20s suicidally depressed. There’s so many more layers than just being able to say “I don’t want to die anymore.”
The difficulty in academia or a career after spending years thinking you wouldn’t be alive long enough for any of it to matter.
The exhaustion that comes from self awareness and self soothing, with the constant voice in your head saying “don’t go backwards.”
How lonely it is to watch the people your age starting families when you’re just barely learning what stable relationships are, and the sudden societal pressure of being “up against a clock” for these kinds of things.
The judgement from others if you change your image or interests this late in the game just because you finally figured out who you really are under the demons.
Be kind to those who are developing and blooming after years of not planning on being here long. We are living a life we absolutely didn’t think we’d have, and it’s hard enough without society reminding us there’s expectations of our age.
We didn’t get to be young; we were too busy fighting battles few know.
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You are not a bother. You are not a burden. You are not a waste of space. You are not annoying every person you talk to. Your existence matters. Your presence makes a good difference.
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every time you assume that others are thinking negatively of you or judging you behind your back, you are bullying yourself through them. at the end of the day, you don't know what thoughts are running through their heads unless they verbally express them to you. until then, every one of 'their' opinions about you is nothing more than your fear, and whatever assumption is born from your fear is yours to let go - not theirs to disprove.
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idk who needs to hear this but your body is loveable
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learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally
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Sometimes our loved ones will be mad at us. Sometimes our fears will be true.
But being mad doesn’t mean someone no longer loves you!
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You will make mistakes, you will act irrationally. You will commit some wrongs that cannot be fully righted. People will dislike you and misunderstand you for all sorts of reasons. None of these things make you a bad person. All you can do is try your best to be kind, to learn and grow.
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i don’t know who needs to hear this today, but
you can always start again
you can change your mind
it won’t be always like this
your worth doesn’t depend on your looks
your character is what matters the most about you
you deserve to be seen
you still have time to figure things out, some people just pretend they did
your best is your best and sometimes it varies
you matter too
you need you, always remember this
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I feel like a big part of enjoying life is being able to get excited over the truly small things, like having a fruit you like, wearing your fave socks, the smell of rain or the way light comes through your window.
When my anxiety got very severe last year, the thing that made life worth it was those tiny little things, which became tremendously important when I wasn’t well enough to really do anything or go anywhere for a year. A brown egg, some cute stickers, a wildflower my neighbour brought me on the way home from a party, seeing the weather change every day, watching the birds from my window… It’s happiness in miniature, and deserves some attention.
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It's not enough that you didn't love me, you had to convince me that nobody else would either. Because you knew that if I thought otherwise, I would attempt to escape from you and find acceptance and love elsewhere. You couldn't have that. You had to keep me where I was unloved, and without hope that I could be loved. And for what. Because it suited you to make use of me? Was it worth it? You have an enemy now.
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