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#neglect
melangedmess · 8 months ago
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toxic parents will traumatize you and act surprised when you act like you've been traumatized
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snorlax-and-co · 5 months ago
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furiousgoldfish · 5 months ago
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Neglected children will sometimes go ‘okay time to dangerously deteriorate to see if anyone cares about me’ and then if nobody does, they don’t know how to stop deteriorating on their own, they’ll need help to pick themselves back up.
 And if that help doesn’t arrive, they’ll conclude ‘I was right to destroy myself in a world where nobody cares for me anyway, why should I live at all’ and it sets them on a miserable life path where all they see is chances for self destruction and proof of nobody caring, and from the very start it’s not their fault at all.
Because someone should notice when a kid starts losing themselves and step up and help. Children are not meant to know how to take care of themselves in an environment where they’re neglected, ignored and uncared for. Putting them in such an environment then blaming them for deteriorating is absolutely ridiculous. It takes paying attention and realizing when something is wrong and pulling a kid out of the black hole they’re falling into, before they can no longer crawl their way out on their own. 
It’s not acceptable to let children deal with abandonment and neglect all on their own, and expect them to not grow up miserable, resentful, struggling, and doing harm to themselves. It’s the same harm we never stopped them from doing when they were kids, when they needed to know that someone would care if they’re hurt. If we want functional and healthy adults in the society, we have to notice what is going on with the kids and make sure they’re helped in time. 
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hpdtsumiki · a month ago
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i'm sorry i'm such a fucking inconvenience to you.
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nerves-nebula · 2 months ago
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Vent comic courtesy of my traumatic visit home!!! augahguhsg!!
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healingchildhoodtrauma · 6 months ago
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“Abandonment is at the core of addictions. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic. What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the wound is deep enough, and the terror big enough, your bodily systems shift to an alarm state. You never feel safe. You’re always on full-alert, just waiting for the hurt to begin again. In that state of readiness, you’re unaware that part of you has died. You are grieving. Like everyone who has loss, you have shock and disbelief, fear, loneliness and sadness. Yet you are unaware of these feelings because your guard is up. In your readiness, you abandon yourself. Yes, another abandonment.”
Patrick J. Carnes, The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
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Stop telling people who live in the westcountry things are good down south challenge.
And this is just the permanent population, in summer this will double or treble.
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rotrighthrough · a month ago
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Can you do a girl who is 1 year pregnant with a HUGE baby and is being held captive. When she starts labouring her kidnapper lets her deliver the Huge head of the baby whick is not easy, then the kidnapper makes her swallow a pill that prevents the baby from being born while still having contractions. Then the kidnapper force the girl to clean the whole house with a huge head in between her legs while still having contractions. (The pill lasts for 5 hours)
Omg Ulol this is so amazing, you have such a lovely twisted little mind. Let’s do this.
Overcooked
Naomi could barely remember what it felt like not to be pregnant or kept inside her captors basement. She’d be brought there a little more than a year ago, her captor; Sam, determined to get her pregnant and make her suffer as much as humanly possible. She had no idea why. She had done nothing to Sam to make him want to torture her, but she secretly sense he delighted in seeing her struggle and be in pain.
The first months of her pregnancy were fine, but exhausting. Sam mainly used her as a permanent live in maid, so even while aching and nauseous she was forced to wait hand and foot on him, with the threat of brutal, painful punishments looming over her head. One time, while 9 months pregnant she had went into labour suddenly, causing her to drop to drop Sams favorite mug and since then he’d made her a promise that he wouldn’t let her give birth until he said so. He pumped her full of medication that would keep labour for coming fit 3 entire months.
Which landed her where she was now, an entire year pregnant, and still doing her best to wait on her master, trying her best to avoid punishment. Doing much of anything made her extremely winded, her giant stomach nearly grazing the floor and her small legs trembling under the her own weight. She was always naked except for a pair of tight panties and a bra that was 2 sizes too small, no shirt in the house able to fit over her enormous bump. Enormous pressure surrounded her stomach at all times, she felt like a water balloon about to burst and her back was in constant searing painS Her stomach was stretched incredibly tight, taunt as a drum. In fact, Sam often delighted in slapping it as Naomi walked by, causing it to ripple throughout her body and cause intense pain. One such time she was carrying a tray with a cup of coffee on it and walking past Sam to hand him it when Sam slapped her stomach. This slap was harder then any of his normal ones, and sent a shock through Naomi so intense her knees buckled sending the tray tumbling onto the ground and something inside her to make a satisfying pop. Sam picked her up by the hair and began to drag her downstairs, cursing. “You bitch! You ruined my perfectly good carpet.” Naomi stayed silent, her entire body gripped with the same immeasurable intense pain she felt 3 months ago. Sam noticed her grimace and his eyes lit up. Naomi was instantly terrified.
Sam reached out and rubbed Naomis stomach gently, which put her more on edge then ever. “You’re in labour again aren’t you?” He said purring. Naomi simply nodded, beginning to squirm uncomfortably, scared of what Sam would do next.
Sam reached out and undid Naomis bra, her giant chest pouring out of her too tight bra, milk leaking onto her chest. Another strong contraction gripped her, and she could feel them coming faster, harder, until her stomach was tight and throbbing from the pressure. Sam look off her ruined panties and urged to her to push. She did so, desperately trying to expel the giant baby that had been torturing her inside of her for a year. She pushed as hard as possible, Sam between her legs, watching as her pussy spread and bulged. She was incredibly uncomfortable at the idea, but was in way too much pain to say anything, bearing her hips down and attempting to push even harder. Her stomach began to turn red from exertion and she panted heavily, tears pricking her eyes. She pushed extremely hard for 2 entire hours, but even so, the humongous head of her baby that should have been 3 months old by then, refused to even crown. Throughout the entire thing, Sam stood between her legs, attempting to stretch her pussy, to no avail. Finally, Sam rolled his eyes and went from her pussy to her stomach. Naomi was about to say something, but her breath became caught in her throat and she was taken over by immense burning pain, as Sam pushed down hard on her taunt, tight stomach. She nearly screamed but managed to bite her lip instead, it immediately gushing metallic blood into her mouth. Sam when from one hand to two, pushing down harder and harder until an audible woosh could be heard. He had done it. The gigantic head was finally out.
Naomi collapsed back down again, panting wildly. She almost wanted to thank Sam for helping her expel the oversized head, that was until he slipped a small white pill into her panting mouth, which she instinctively swallowed. Sam forced her back to her feel and she trembled, feeling pressure begin to build up in her stomach and an even larger contraction to erupt through her, so intense she nearly fell straight onto her stomach. Sam smirked and rubbed her stomach. “Go clean up the coffee stain, you have 5 hours until the pill wears off and you can give birth but—“ he smirked and roughly held her face. “ if this house isn’t spotless by then, I’m pushing that head back inside you and we can start from scratch in let’s say..” he made some hand gestures. “Another 4 months.” Naomi gasped. If this was the hell of having a baby that was 3 months overdue inside of her, she couldn’t imagine how painful 7 whole months overdo would be. She had to do this. And she had to do it right.
Walking in itself was near impossible. Between her huge stomach, the head dangling between her legs and the nearly stacked contractions she had to stop about every 2 minutes to pant heavily and was struggling not to pass out from the pain. But she was determined. She had to do this right. She managed to get the coffee stain out and was beginning to vacuum the floors, leaning her stomach against the vacuum and gritting her teeth as each contraction took her into its grasp. She thought after 2 hours of contractions every two minutes and the constant pressure the pain would get a little more manageable, but amazingly she was wrong. With every passing moment and contraction the pain peaked a bit higher, but she couldn’t stop, she had so much left to do. The laundry was easy. So we’re the dishes, which left her with an hour and a half left. She could do this. She could make it. She panted in and out as she washed the floor,her belly touching the ground and the head of the baby sliding around inside her. She rubbed her taunt belly and looked down at her work. Half an hour left and a few more things to do. Her knees buckled and when she tried to get up again she found it was impossible. The pain was too great, the pressure too strong, her vision was nearly white in delirium and she knew she could make it to her last chore of the day. Then she remembered what Sam said. She HAD to do this. She crawled to the fridge in her hands and knees, her belly becoming ruff burned on the hardwood and managed to organise the fridge, collapsing onto her back the moment she finished and the pill began to wear off.
She knew better then to push without sams permission so she laid there until he came back. “House looks really good, great job Nao.” He said cheerfully, poking Naomi hard on her already contraction tight stomach. He dragged her downstairs to a pair of metal stirrups and sat her up. “Ready to push?” He asked. Naomi pushed hair, and eventually Sam joined in again, thrusting his hands so hard onto Naomis stomach that as the baby finally came out and wailed, she passed out immediately.
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subsystems · 28 days ago
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“Complex trauma is also known as developmental trauma in that it is trauma that is chronic, pervasive, and it happens early in development from, say, birth to teens. Many people who have what we call complex trauma have had many years of trauma; mostly we’re talking about child abuse. I think complex trauma also covers other issues like war and political torture . . . but mostly we use it to think about people who’ve been abused and neglected as children. . . . Emotional neglect can lead to a pretty profound disconnection from yourself; depersonalization, depression, a sense of purposelessness. It can be pretty severe.”
Kathy Steele, a leading expert on dissociation & trauma, explaining what complex trauma is. (source, 10:15)
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melangedmess · 9 months ago
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abusive parents be like, you can do anything you want to but the things you want to!
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furiousgoldfish · 6 months ago
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Have I been emotionally abandoned by my parents?
Lack of interest, attachment, bonding and positive engagement
My parent has never shown a lot of interest in what I want in my life
My parent has told me it doesn't matter what I want
My parent doesn't think much of my personality
There's not many (if any) parts of me that my parent likes
My parent doesn't do both-sided conversations with me; either I'm just a listener, or telling them exactly what they want to hear
My parent doesn't indulge with my opinions, experiences, interests
My parent dismisses, argues, humiliates or ridicules my opinions, interests, dreams
My parent expected me to feel and think only what they feel and think
My parent dismisses, humiliates and argues opinions and feelings that in any way differentiate from theirs
My parent only spends time with me if they have to, or to use me
My parent doesn't have activities they enjoy doing with me, we don't have any traditions we enjoy together
My parent doesn't approve or praise me for the work I do
My parent doesn't show support when I'm trying to gain a new skill or experience
My parent isn't invested in me learning and developing (except if it's for their personal gain)
My parent makes me feel as if they'd rather not have me as child
My parent isn't interested in giving me compliments, hugs, attention, approval or time
My parent convinced me I'm not important enough to have their attention
My parent gets angry if I want their attention
My parent blames me for wanting attention and shames me for it
I rarely or never felt acknowledged, seen, heard and accepted by my parent
I don't feel valued or loved by my parent
Lack of protection
My parent doesn't care if other children belittle, outcast, or bully me
My parent blames me for the getting hurt by other people
My parent thinks I should settle my problems without involving them
My parent dismisses me/gets angry with me if I try to tell them about scary or hurtful experiences I had
My parent claims I shouldn't have gotten involved in problematic situation because it's too much for them to handle hearing about it
My parent failed to protect me from a person who groomed me
My parent groomed me to accept abuse and neglect as normal
My parent failed to protect me from a sexual predator or harasser
My parent acted as a sexual harasser or a sexual predator towards me
My parent failed to protect me from an abusive friendship/relationship
My parent failed to be on my side after I got hurt/mistreated/molested by a relative, teacher, or peer
My parent failed to protect me from the abuse from the other parent/relative
My parent subjected me to institutional abuse and claimed that I deserved it
My parent sent me away to go thru an abusive program and claimed it was the right thing to do
My parent knew I was getting abused, and didn't stop it
My parent acted as if they weren't my parent while I was getting abused
My parent blamed me for getting abused by another parent/family member, and accused me of causing it
My parent doesn't care if I get abused by another family member, as long as I don't ask for help or speak out about it
I don't think my parent cares for what I'm going thru
Lack of care during stress, trauma and pain
My parent rarely or never reassured or comforted me if I was upset
My parent dismissed my depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, self harm
My parent had no patience for my feelings, and didn't pay attention to how I was reacting to a traumatic or stressful situation (moving, loss of a family member, accident, violence, trauma)
My parent preferred if I didn't show any big emotions and would lose their patience or snap at me if I was too vulnerable or crying
My parent shamed me or punished me for expressing anger or rage
My parent didn't take care to be gentle and warm with me when I was vulnerable or hurt
My parent didn't offer reassurances or uplifting words when I felt hopeless or spiraled down
My parent didn't teach me how to deal with grief, anger, shock or pain
My parent didn't tolerate me expressing negative emotions
My parent was likely to punish me for expressing negative emotions
I didn't feel safe showing pain or vulnerability in front of my parents
I felt that my parents found my vulnerability repulsive to see
I never felt safe confiding my true feelings to my parents, in fear of being dismissed or worse
My parent prodded or humiliated my emotions of stress, fear, worry, panic, grief or pain
I had to emotionally take care of my parents and understand how they felt if there was a stressful or traumatic situation going on
Lack of patience, kindness and compassion
My parent expected things of me that I wasn't interested in doing
My parent set expectations for me that were not realistic for a child
My parent had no patience for me to learn and expected me to know everything in advance
My parent showed no joy in me learning, and instead berated me for not doing things good enough
My parent had no forgiveness for my mistakes
My parent punished me for making mistakes
My parent had no patience for me not understanding everything at once
My parent snapped at me or punished me for being confused or reluctant
My parent shamed me for my inexperience, lack of knowledge, lack of skill
My parent never invested a lot of patience or time in order to teach me something
My parent wasn't interested in my growth except in how it would fulfill their expectations
My parent didn't consider my happiness when they were setting goals for me
My parent expected me to cooperate and act happy regardless of what I was going thru
My parent made sure I knew my emotions didn't matter if i didn't accomplish what was expected of me
My parent made me feel like I was supposed to be a robot rather than a child
I felt like things would be better if I had no emotions at all
Lack of stability
My parent only cared for me on specific days when they were in a good mood
My parent would sometimes blow up and attack me for something I could usually do without being yelled at
My parent didn't care if I had to tiptoe around them in fear of their rage
My parent's rules or goalposts would change day to day; one day something was fine, another it wasn't
My parent would sometimes attack me for not following the rules that were never made clear to me
My parent's personality would change completely if they were under stress or influence (alcohol, drugs)
My parent subjected me to experiences of domestic violence, fighting, screaming, trauma
My parents had me witness them fighting or very hateful displays and never emotionally took care of me afterwards
I felt responsible for their domestic situation and worried I was the cause of fighting
My parent used to love me at some point when I was a child or successful in some area, but as the situation changed, their feelings changed, and I felt it my fault they stopped caring
I worried I was doing something to cause my parent to not love me anymore
I felt I was not worthy enough for my parent to feel any love towards me
I could never be sure what to expect out of my parent, and it caused insecurity and anxiety
My parent spent a big chunk of their life away from me, not keeping consistent contact
My parent disowned me, or disowned me for a certain period of time
My parent spent weeks/months/years completely unavailable to me
My parent hid my existence and made me feel like I was a shameful secret they kept
My parent had a life that I was never a part of and wasn't allowed to come close to it
Lack of acceptance and threat of abandonment
My parent compared me to other "preferable" children to tell me what I should be like
My parent showed no interest to accept my personality, or my identity the way it is
My parent made it clear I will be punished if I act like myself
My parent argued against my plans and goals and tried to convince me I would never make it
My parent made me feel as if if it would be better if I didn't exist
My parent convinced me it's a crime for me to exist as I am
My parent made me feel as if I'm the least important family member, and the family could do (or would do better) without me
My parent told me they'd prefer if they didn't have me
My parent threatened to kick me out
My parent threatened to abandon me
My parent threatened to put me into an orphanage or a home
My parent called or threatened to call the authorities on me
My parent threatened they'd leave me to to fend for myself without teaching me how
My parent made me terrified of being alone
My parent made me feel like I will always, no matter what I do, end up all alone
 If 5 or more of these statements are true for you, or even 1 from the 'Protection' category, you have experienced emotional abandonment from your parent or caretaker. This experience is beyond painful and damaging for your emotional well being, and is likely to cause major issues with self love, feeling of self worth, feeling of safety and trust, developing relationships and intimacy, and mental health.
If you are dealing with abandonment issues, struggle with insecurity and trust in your relationships, and generally feel like you have a big black hole inside of you, know that this is the normal way your brain is reacting to severely painful abandonment. Your ways of coping are there in order to protect you from future abandonment, and your issues a result of many unmet needs you parents were responsible to meet. This is how anyone would feel after being abandoned. The way you're dealing with it is not your fault, and it doesn't mean you should be shamed or that something is wrong with you. You are trying to put your life back together after abandonment. Your brain is just trying to make sure you don't have to experience that debilitating pain of being abandoned and left alone again.
To read more about what the opposite of emotional abandonment looks like, read 'What is parental abandonment, and what does emotional care look like'.
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xcrying-4ngelx · a year ago
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blackberrylight · 4 months ago
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Why I love Touya so much? He is the best example of what parents' neglect can do with a kid.
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He was such a bright cheerful boy, but the way his father acted with him made the kid think that he is a 'failure', that he is just... a bad result of some sort of experiment.
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Enji was the reason Touya started seeing himself as a 'failed creation'.
Again
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and again
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the life constantly showed him that he is, actually, unimportant. That he is a shadow that can be easily left behind.
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But... Touya was never a shadow.
He was a flame.
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A flame of hatred, grief
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and pain.
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Pain that, as he thought, will never end.
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.... until his fight with Shouto.
Shouto is a hero Touya needed this whole time since he was a kid. I believe Shouto can help his brother, I really do.
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creepychan96 · 4 months ago
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unicorn-onion · 5 months ago
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I believe in the kindness of strangers and the cruelty of family.
unicorn_onion
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bakedbakermom · 10 months ago
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Oh look, it's a bingo card for childhood trauma.
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aszmxm · 10 months ago
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Your coffee gets cold when you forget it, so what about the one you love?
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