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itsnotjustgibberish · 2 months

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Wake up chat, Gibberish writing dropped!

Soul and Whole centric fic :] written with platonic intent for clarity

Warnings: General angst, unreality/depersonalization, mostly unhappy ending. Let me know if there’s anything else I should add; I’m not too experienced posting and tagging writing

^Can be read here, or below,

[…]

They always met at the beginning of the loops.

Soul knew the ‘Whole’ he met within the rainstorms wasn’t really Harmonia, or even fully real. Still, he would always take the time to sing their duets. It would always repeat the promise to revive Him. His hope would be renewed from the spring showers; hydrated so that it could hold on long enough to eventually blossom when the song regained its harmonies.

Whole was just a human being.

Soul had to remind himself of that. Over and over he reminded itself that Harmonia was not a god, not his god. He hated Soul’s reverence.

Except when he saw Him this time, it was difficult not to humble himself.

The voice of the silhouette always sounded familiar, even if He was rather blurry, but this meeting wasn’t during the beginning. Heart and Mind had already harmonized, and begun to work together. If anything, they might have already formed a Soulless-Harmonia.

So how could he come face-to-face with his Whole, now?

He had to be real. This wasn’t the beginning, he couldn’t be just a promise. He was a person, He was here. He was here with Soul. He was finally, truly meeting The Whole.

What the fuck.

The mechanisms behind his eyes began to spin out hundreds of different worries. Had it respected Him correctly? Would He be proud of The Soul’s work to reform? Would He be proud of Atlas himself..?

Soul felt his hands reach out to The Whole unthinkingly, but he did not fight it.

“{Whole?}” Despite the tone, it was no longer a question. His hands were solid against Soul’s. The touch was real. His body was real. Whole was real.

“Hello, Mr. Eclipse.”

“{How…}” He tore one hand away to cover his mouth as tears escaped his eyes. Whole squeezed the hand He still held for a moment, briefly attempting to offer comfort, before pulling His Soul into a hug instead.

“I don’t know.”

Soul leaned into the embrace, face pressing against His shoulder. The curls of His hair were an uncomfortable tickle as they brushed against him, but he could not care; it wasn’t an artificial feeling. Atlas clung on to His back, and the soft cloth of His shirt folded between his fingers. The pressure of His arms around it was like a weighted blanket keeping him free from harm. Whole did not have the same metallic coldness of Mind, nor the feverish scorching of Heart; He was a human being with a natural warmth, He was a real person. Whole was real.

Whole was real as He held the sobbing man, who’s hands shook as he clung on to Him tighter. Atlas’ nails would have drawn blood if the other’s clothes had been any thinner. Still, Whole refused to move away. Even as tears drenched His shirt, surely leaving some kind of stain, He stayed still as a comforting constant.

Suddenly yet hesitantly, Soul pulled his head away; his eyes were wide and terrified, as if he was worried the other might disappear when he let go. “{It took so fucking long for you to finally show up here. You haven’t always been able to, right?}” Soul sniffled. “{You haven’t– please tell me you haven’t left us forsaken intentionally–}” The words wobbled before splitting apart into another wave of sobs.

Atlas brought its eyes back up from the floor, tears blinked away. The terrifying thought of what His answer could be was replaced with a guilt worse than a thousand sliced nerves when its gaze met Whole’s; clouded with sadness.

“Do you think I would?” His voice lowered.

Soul felt all words leave him. He had upset Whole. They had only just met and he had already fucked up and hurt Him. What was wrong with him? What kind of vessel was he?

Whole silently hugged him again. Atlas let his arms fall to his sides; it didn’t deserve His comfort now. Of course He wouldn’t have meant to leave. He couldn’t have wanted to leave. Because what would that say about Soul? About all of them; that they were part of something so quick to push their own self away?

But He was here with him now as he cried until his head hurt. Whole eventually gave him an awkward pat on the head; which was met with Soul giggling through his sobs, wiping at his cheeks. He glanced up at the other to see him mirror the movement. Soul hadn’t noticed when Whole began crying, but there was something oddly comforting about seeing the tears on His face as well.

Whole backed away, eyes finally breaking from Soul’s to take in the room. Awe grew in The Whole’s face as He wandered around, with Atlas following right behind like a lost duckling. The impossible space of Soul’s bedroom was really the only structure in the psyche that hadn’t formed based around his house.

Harmonia looked back at Soul, and it seemed to set in that this was the place he had already spent hundreds of thousands of days in. Soul found the wonder charming, but the one wondering was not aware of that, and so he shifted his attention to avoid boring him.

“It’s rather dark in here, don’t you think?” He turned to the window, making his way over slow enough for The Eclipse to easily catch up if needed. Atlas watched a mix of sun and moon highlight His quintet-colored nails as Whole pressed the glass panes open, observing the clouds outside. “Perhaps we should cloudgaze? It’s certainly been a while.”

All the times he had spent laying beside ‘Whole’ to watch the rain clouds pass felt emptier now. It hurt, but maybe that was okay; he had the real Whole now, didn’t he? But the thought of watching the clouds together was terrifying. They would be tempting fate; disrespecting this current Parousia to return to a fake one. Soul reasoned with himself that the tears making another attempt at escape were just a remaining irritation of his eyes. It certainly could not be fear overtaking him again.

“Hey, Dawnlight,” Atlas nearly jumped as Harmonia’s hand suddenly appeared on his shoulder. “I’m sure it’s okay.”

“{What… What if somehow–}”

“It will be okay.”

“{But you appeared so quickly, what if you leave just as suddenly? How can I know you won’t get lost in the rain? How can I trust you not to abandon me again?}” He took a deep breath, and avoided His eyes for fear of having to see that pain-filled expression once more. “{I’m sorry, I don’t mean to blame you– you can’t be the one to blame for this– but I have never been this fucking terrified before.}”

“It may be partly cloudy, but the rains cannot reach us today.” He motioned outside, “Look at the clouds. They’re paler than a certain Akaryocyte, aren’t they?”

Soul couldn’t help but smile at the– probably unintentional– jab at Heart, and carefully crept up beside him. “{The clouds have no rain.}”

“The clouds have no rain.” He echoed.

“{You can’t get lost.}”

Whole patted his shoulder, again, rather awkwardly. “I’m here, aren’t I?"

“{You’re real, and you are here.}”

Soul guided the other through the patch where the roof turned to smog. After a short hike, the duo settled in a low altitude meadow of cloud; lying against the soft ground.

Whole hummed a tune that Soul quickly recognized; a zeroth track the trio had already sung. He grinned, looking up at all the variations in the puffs enclosing them from above.

“Isn’t it so very fascinating to see how the clouds will form differently from such simple changes in the environment?”

“{Yes.}”

“Do you have a favorite cloud?”

“{I’ve always found interstellar ones really lovely.}”

He raised an eyebrow. “Those aren’t the ones I meant, silly.”

“{You should’ve specified water molecules. I bet you’d hate to find out my favorite color is technically a value.}” He laughed, and paused. “{…Your favorite color is still pink, right?}”

“Yup.”

“{Do you dislike how we connect you to gold, then?}”

“Nah. I think it’s fun to see the symbolism you three have made. Besides, Atlas, don’t you think I would get sick of it if everything around me was constantly pink?”

Soul laughed again, and sat up. “{Fair enough.}”

He grabbed a clump of the cloud beneath him, and carefully began to shape it. Whole rolled onto His stomach, watching His third before looking back at the sky. Giggling to himself, Soul set the flower he had created atop His head, catching His eye before focusing on creating another. A few more flowers joined the first, as well as a sun and moon, before either of them broke the comfortable silence again.

“{What are you gonna say to Heart and Mind when you meet them?}” He asked.

Harmonia looked at him thoughtfully before eventually giving up on an answer with a shrug. He carefully sat up as to not let the clouds fall from his hair, and moved to sit beside Soul. It leaned against The Whole, and closed his eyes. His shoulder was solid and comfortable beneath his head, and so were the clouds holding them up.

“Soul?”

“{Hm?}”

“I’m not real.”

“{I…}” The vessel opened his eyes, trying to steady its breathing before looking at the void beside him.

“You know that, don’t you?”

“{…The lie was comforting.}”

“I know.”

Soul could barely see into His eyes anymore.

“You have to join them, Atlas.” The name once held so much tranquility, but now it felt like a toxin ripping apart each and every molecule of his being. The sweetness of it left a bitter aftertaste now; it was a horrid reminder that Soul could never be its own person to truly meet Whole. If the trio intertwined and formed Whole physically, Soul would no longer exist to see Him. If the trio became Whole by harmonizing and working together as individuals, the Harmonia he wanted so desperately to meet would never exist.

Soul would never meet Whole.

“{I can’t lose you.}”

”You won’t—“ Whole was cut off as the other yelled.

”{I know that! I know the three of us will form you again. I know you and I are intertwined; the real Whole was what we repaired along the way, or whatever cliché shit, but I can’t lose the presence here now. I can’t lose you!}”

Whether the wetness on his face was caused by tears or rain, Soul wasn’t sure, but it didn’t matter. It was already too late. It clutched its arms around himself, and sobbed harder when the only response was a cold zephyr carrying the smell of storms. He tried to dig his hands into the ground beneath him, desperately searching for something solid or something real, but the clouds only dissipated with the extra pressure. Soul brought its knees to his chest, and let his head fall forward as he cradled them.

Eventually he ran a sleeve across his face in a half-hearted attempt to clean it. Taking a heavy breath, Atlas looked back down at the empty space beside him, and forced his legs to stand and walk. The Eclipse spoke to the void one final time.

“{Stratocumulus.}” Was the only word to break the silence before he started the path back home to his other halves.

Soul would never meet Whole, but Harmonia was still waiting for him.

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aldbooks · 8 months

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Valkyrie Week Day 7 -Blood Rite

Rating:M

3,425 Words

Summary: Several weeks after the Blood Rite, once the excitement of Nesta's mating ceremony and the birth of Nyx subside, the Valkyrie wade through the aftermath of what they faced in the Blood Rite

@officialvalkyrieweek

#valkyrie week #valkyries acosf #Angsty writing #blood rite ACOSF #official Valkyrie week #officialvalkyrieweek

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enigmalynne · 5 months

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Oh, Hai.

After being gone for like, forever and a day, I'm back and I'm writing again. I'm actually working on a bunch of stuff right now too.

Stuff for SPN, of course.... but also for NCIS, Marvel, and maybe some Chicago Fire. And you'll see that too, if I get the confidence to post it.

But for sure the SPN stuff. I've gone one piece done and it needs to be edited before posting, I've got three other work in progress', and one piece outlined out (which I never do, but it's a complicated one).

Until I get those posted, I've updated my Masterlist so you can see all of my pieces in one spot: https://enigmalynne.tumblr.com/writing

In case anyone is here and is still curious that is.

#fanfic #spnfandom #spn #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn reader insert #spnfamily #I'm writing again and it feels so good #angsty writing is the best #angst #angsty writing

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ruqa22 · 8 months

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tw: death, blood, description of wound, mentions of dismemberment, angst, no fluff or comfort.

do not read if you don’t like it.

a/n: a little something for my sweet nymph.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

“You’ll be okay, don’t worry,” a voice assured softly, cradling a young child’s body.

Blood pooled in the curve of their palms, leaking onto the already stained grass. Destruction was ever so present in the burning village. Mangled bodies were discarded like toys, no longer recognizable. Skewered limbs and fingers being laid amongst bodies of the old and young.

The young child tried to speak but blood gurgled at the corner of his lips, dripping down his chin and onto his tattered clothes. A large gaping wound in his abdomen proved to be fatal and there was no hope.

“I’m scared, Miss Kae,” the boy whispered, tears flooding his vision, unable to see the red-haired woman properly. Her violet eyes glinted in the peace of the moonlight despite the savage intensity of reality.

Kae smiled softly albeit with an anguished expression. Her own tears were apparent but she’d quickly hide them in order to not make the young boy panic further. Her slender fingers delicately grazed his cheek, hushing him gently.

“I know, I know. Everything will be alright, darling. You’ll be okay.” She spoke up.

It’s not okay.

“When you fall asleep and open your eyes again, you’ll see your family. They’ll be so happy to see you.” Her tone was sweet like honey, soothing the boy even though he was in excruciating agony. Her free hand glided over the wound in his abdomen, doing her best to not break her composure.

“Really? I’ll see them?” he asked hopefully but the light in his eyes was slowly dimming.

“I’m sure of it,” she responded, cradling him closer to her body. Kae’s clothes were stained in his blood but it didn’t matter. All that really mattered was his comfort in the end.

The woman’s eyes fluttered shut as tears eventually welled up and flowed down her face. It was difficult to keep herself together for the sake of the young boy. She was supposed to protect him, to care for him, to make sure he lived a happy life.

But she failed him. Failed his family that entrusted her with him. What kind of caretaker was she if she couldn’t protect a child?

His breaths were becoming ragged and uneven by the second and she knew there was no hope left to save him. It was pointless. He was losing too much blood so quickly.

If she were to have been on time, he could’ve lived, he could’ve been doing so much more than bleeding out to death. He shouldn’t have to be in this situation.

Her ears heard soft whispers and that made her open her eyes in surprise. The young boy was trying to speak but the blood was gurgling up into his mouth. Kae was disheartened, yet she caressed his cheek and smiled softly.

“You’ll be okay,” she reassured again, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead. His eyes welled up in tears but he could not cry out as he clung to her for a few more moments.

Then his body went limp in her grasp and she couldn’t hold it in anymore. The caretaker’s body shuddered and her voice spilled out with heartbroken sobs. The destruction of the village was desolated, completely shattered. All that was left was the flickering fire and the last remaining inhabitant.

All her fault.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

i don’t know what came over me but i enjoyed writing this. for me personally, i teared up a bit since i was listening to a slower song.

hopefully it isn’t as bad as my other works that i really dislike so much. （＾ν＾）

#original character #writing #creative writing #my original work #original writing #own character #angsty #angst #no comfort #no fluff #death mention tw #writing community #angsty writing

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that-redheadd · 4 days

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Messy Girl Entries.

I'm a messy girl. I reek of cigarettes, alcohol and disappointment.

At first, you'd describe me as "fun", my filthy words make you laugh, my off-putting opinions are entertaining, my ignorance of the world allowing me to be free. I'm fun, mess is fun, chaos is fun, dirtiness is fun. But it's also exhausting, it's taboo, I'm exhausting, I'm taboo. Hence, why so many people at the end of the day choose to clean it up... why they abandon me at the end of the party.

I guess that's why all my friends are getting tired of me, I ruin that cleanliness they so desperately want.

"Smoke somewhere else, it smells."

"Don't drink tonight, you weird us out when you're drunk."

"Don't talk about that kind of stuff, you're ruining my idea of love."

I love my friends, so I tried to change me, little by little, I cleaned up a bit and got rid of the filth, yet I found everything is still messy. The clothes were clean but all over the room. My thoughts were clean but all over my head. I hoped it was enough.

I smoked towards the other direction so they don't get dizzy, but the smell lingered on me, I drank moderately so I won't bother them, but they still judged me for being a mood-killer, I stitched my mouth shut, so their expectations of the world wouldn't be shattered by me, but they still got mad when I experienced reality quietly in my own corner.

But I suppose if you don't want to get judged by your guests, you have to clean up and organize.

But without the mess, what am I? The mess was made because something came crashing in my space and trashed it... my experiences. I may not have had the best experiences in the world, but they still shaped me into the person I've become.

A bad, messy person with a shit ton of baggage.

I don't want to bother my friends as their bones are more delicate than mine, if they hold my baggage they'll break.

So I'll just hold onto it. On my own.

#messy girl #messy girl aesthetic #messy girl ramblings #friendship #self destruction #loss of friends #abandonment #attatchment issues #angsty writing #sad writing #writers on tumblr #diary #Spotify

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eiseryn · 5 months

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Mafia/ Crime AU

Synopsis: Remember that yandere! Vail picture I drew way back? Well this is the collection of notes which are the plot as to why that type of Vail came to be! It is a tragedy so... TW character death? But not in the way you expect? Hopefully? This takes place in a crime/mafia AU (which I am not well-versed in), so note there's not much description about that. These notes are mostly focussed on "romance" and written in a very messy style.

Under the glamour of the city of Mertalline lurks the underdark where organized crime is rampant, and there are many gangs fighting amongst themselves. Rarely do citizens get caught up in their actions, and some aren’t even aware of the darkness that lies underneath…

A small but prominent group — Lexi’s Red Dragons have been catching the attention of bigger and older groups due to their excellent work. Everyone in this group has insignias/ tattoos of a red dragon with horns on them.

Lexi (boss)

Rose (2nd in command?) + sniper

Zoey (classic muscle(wo)man/hit(wo)man who goes on the frontlines), Keeper (works behind the scenes, mostly runs the comms line + rarely goes on the front lines. She also often is their strategist.), Vail (often sticks to things in the shadows/stealth missions, but does go on the frontlines)

They also later recruit Liam as a standard muscleman for their work who also goes on the frontlines

For funsies Elik + Tiger are here too XD (in my AUs they will NOT be villains)

Elik is an assassin ofc, classic hitman — he is #1 in terms of damage tying with Lexi.

Tiger is a hacker ofc

PEOPLE WHO ARE ALSO IN THIS GROUP FOR PLOT REASONS

Maric — we need more Runner bodies to fill up the hitmen slots LOL

Flash — getaway driver :3

The reason they are powerful is because they also have backing from Maria, one of the richest in the city. This might also mean they do dirty jobs for Maria.

The order they were recruited in:

(Starting members) Lexi, Rose, Vail, Keeper, Elik, Tiger. Then Zoey was recruited, and then Flash, and then Maric, and Liam is the newest recruit.

Underground doctor group — Elise, Lei, Ceres.

Elise, who has a mysterious past (would be revealed in plot) as to why she’s an underground doctor.

It is likely because her company did illegal experimentation/ unethical experimentation and she ran away somehow? She might still be hiding from them.

Ceres — got caught up with the mess due to her relation to her brother Rose, who hid his criminal activities from her for a long time. Unfortunately, she is now also hiding from whatever forces are going after Rose.

She often stays indoors, as forced by Rose and Lei so that she stays “safe”.

In this AU she got trained to shoot — by Lei and Rose.

Lei, formerly falsely accused of making illegal drugs in her company, and thus had to turn into underground doctoring after this stain in her records. She probably did go to jail for this but got a reduced sentence.

She is popular because she cooks the cleanest drugs on the black market. They’re so clean people wonder how she got here.

Under her cold bitchy persona there lies a soft heart.

Carries a gun strapped to her thigh for “self-defense” but also can kill in self-defense.

Only wears dresses/skirts, almost never wears pants. Often wears heels as well because she used to have a sort of agreed immunity by the gangs as a doctor… until some gangs thought she was favouring a certain group a little too much.

Plot:

Due to competition from the other gangs/groups, Lexi’s group is being targeted and many other crime groups are trying to wipe them out.

As an underground doctor, Lei is supposed to remain impartial to those who show on her doorstep — as long as the money is there. But she may have favoured Lexi’s group a little too much and is now being targeted by the mysterious forces after Lexi’s group.

Lexi assigned a bodyguard for her — Vail.

Vail does his job diligently but Lei isn’t so pleased with this set up (in the beginning) b/c she doesn’t want someone to die for her and she knows people are going after HER life. This responsibility makes her a little anxious.

Lei: Why did they send you? I can shoot better than you.

Vail: Just think of me as a meat shield then.

Lei: This is a waste of your time. I can take care of myself.

Vail: Just following orders from the boss (Lexi).

It is hinted that there is a mole in Lexi’s group — they don’t know who at the moment but they suspect someone is betraying them.

Early in the story, Liam might look sus since he is the newest recruit but it will be soon proven false.

Throughout the plot the red herring for the suspect is Maric, who is the second most recent recruit.

Smoking scene (kinda spicy?)

Aside from her doctoring duties and selling the drugs she makes, Lei often does networking (which Elise is actually better at but Lei feels like she’s at less of a risk than Elise).

In the alleyway, Lei takes out a cigarette and lights it up and smokes it. As her loyal bodyguard, Vail is standing basically beside her.

Lei: Hey, you know second hand smoke is bad for you right?

Vail: Yes, and?

Lei: So stay a little further away.

Vail: I’m your bodyguard. I can’t protect you if I’m far away.

Lei stays nothing, because she begins to shiver a little. Nights in Mertalline are cold, especially in sketchy alleyways. And yet she also often wears sleeveless dresses. Vail takes off his suit jacket and moves to put it on her shoulders and she kind of flinches away as he approaches.

Vail, confused: You said you’re cold.

Lei: I didn’t ask for your jacket.

Vail: Yeah, you didn’t. I’m just giving it to you.

She shivers again, so he drapes it over her shoulders.

Lei: It’ll smell like cigarette smoke.

Vail shrugs: Most of the Red Dragons smoke, so it doesn’t matter.

He doesn’t tell her that he usually stays away from them when they smoke. But she doesn’t ask why his jacket smells devoid of smoke either.

Sedatives

Vail needs sleeping pills to sleep b/c he has some insomnia → trauma of his job?

He gets them from Lei usually, so this is how they knew each other before he became her bodyguard.

When it gets really bad to the point it’d become dangerous on the job (unable to sleep at night, falling asleep on the job?), he asks her for better/more effective ones.

She has a new recipe she’s trying out but she’s not sure of the risk/side effects.

He tries them and they’re quite effective, but they don’t really seem like there’s that many side effects … that are obvious.

The amount of dosage needed is lower

And it’s less addictive/ barely addictive at all.

But they will later find… there is an issue with this new drug

Sometimes after eating these drugs and falling asleep he also has strange dreams…

In some dreams he is having a spicy time — he’s touching her (hands on thighs? Face? etc.), kissing her, she might be whispering sweet nothings into his ears as her hands wander lower (and also more spicy things happen that I will not describe… in this doc LOL). He probably feels guilty after waking up and wonders why he dreams these things.

In some dreams he’s killing her — sometimes he’s choking her, sometimes he slits her throat, once it was a gun to her abdomen and he watched her bleed out.

He doesn’t realize he only has these dreams when he’s eating the drugs, because dreams are strange like that / doesn’t make the connection.

He does not tell anyone about these dreams.

These dreams he has… start to bleed into reality… (the spicy good ones not the killing ones)

Guns

Vail hates guns. That’s the truth. He hates using them and he hates that he needs to use them sometimes.

Maybe his parents were killed by one, and a gang, so he first became part of the scheme to avenge his parents?

But either way, whenever he doesn’t need them, he will not use them.

Lei also hates guns but it is the only way she can protect herself, being physically weak otherwise.

She is good with them though, it’s so easy to aim and pull the trigger. Concerningly easy → cold bitch Lei let’s go.

Of the doctor ladies she’s killed the most. I think maybe Ceres has killed more than Elise directly though :3

Maybe their mutual dislike in guns is revealed in the story and this brings them closer

Lei: Why didn’t you use your fucking gun? You almost died!

Vail: … I…

Vail: I hate using them. Sorry.

Lei: …

Lei: (sighing) That makes two of us.

Flash saving Lei :3

This might happen very early in the story — one of the first events, which is why they discover she’s being targeted.

Lei is walking in the sketchy alleyways and she notices someone is following her, so she begins to run and they also run after her. There are possible gunshots that she manages to dodge. She also shoots back and manages to land 1 shot on her pursuer, which is why she escapes from the situation.

Coincidentally, Flash pulls up and tells her to jump in so they escape the situation.

This high stress situation → getting saved by Flash → makes her very grateful to Flash and she finds herself trusting him more quickly/easily than she should.

Although, she doesn’t seem to be aware of this being the reason why, as Flash seems to have high emotional/social intelligence

She does find that he seems to always say things that SHE likes to hear, but she feels like he’s not like this with others, which reassures her a little.

He also gives her rides sometimes when he’s not on jobs from Lexi. He even opens the door for her when he does so like a gentleman.

She ends up talking to him more than she anticipates because he makes the situation seem comfortable.

Liam being scrutinized as the newbie

Liam gets recruited because his goal is similar to Lexi’s goal — to get rid of the scum of the city (Maybe?) — him to make the city a better place for his brother, Lexi just because she is a hero (main protag energy).

Other than Zoey, the rest of them were not so keen about Liam at first and there was a bit of a distrust for him.

Zoey and Liam might be childhood friends in this because their homie energy is too strong.

He also quickly hit off with Tiger + Elik — probably didn’t get along with them at first, but after doing a few jobs with them… they found out they got along quite well, especially him and Tiger.

Rose might have been one of the people who distrusted Liam the most at first, but warmed up to him eventually when they slowly found out about each other.

Keeper probably started out neutral with him but like tsundere, he does end up having a place within her circle.

Maric, Vail, and Flash were pretty neutral about him. I imagine most of them would still be neutral about him, but more accepting of them.

As the newbie, he was first to be accused/suspected of being the mole, but Rose, Elik, and Vail probably all took turns tailing him and found his sneaking around was him trying to stalk his bro

Maric as the red herring

He is the second suspect after Liam is “cleared” of his suspect status.

Personality wise he’s a little rash → jump into action type. I also think he’s the type to follow instructions / not think too much because he’s just the muscle. Other people with bigger brains can do the thinking.

But the fact he follows instructions well makes him more sus maybe?

Maybe sometimes he even messes up a little, which makes him a prime suspect.

I have no idea why he was cleared of being the suspect but they just find out he’s kinda just a guy. And then they’re like why did we even suspect him… he’s the most normal jock type person ever.

Protection

For like the first month-two months nothing really happens when Vail is bodyguarding Lei so they lessen the amount of that so he can work on other things Lexi needs him to do.

One time she’s walking alone and she actually does get attacked. She manages to take down her pursuer but also gets injured in the process — luckily just a sprained ankle (from running in heels LOL)

When they inspect the pursuer’s dead body, they do find an insignia of a rival gang/ tattoo on him — Rats maybe? XD

She does stop wearing heels as frequently after and opts for lace-up boots.

He finds her at the clinic later where she is doing her own treatment.

Vail: Sorry…

Lei: It wasn’t your fault. We got too comfortable since they didn’t make any moves.

She sighs, taking off the ice pack from her ankle and binding it to reduce the swelling: I guess you’ll be stuck with me a little longer.

Vail: …

Lei: Well, don’t get too excited there.

Vail: Don’t worry, I’ll protect you next time. So it won’t happen again.

Lei laughs a little: That is definitely supposed to be your job. I’ll be looking forward to it then~

He’s just keeping his eyes on the treasure

Since he often walks behind her and slightly to the side of her, when he’s not paying attention to his surroundings, he’s watching her from behind.

Lei: You could stare at my ass and legs less often, you know.

Vail, surprised: How did you know that?

Lei: … Well I didn’t but now I definitely do.

Vail: …

(She’s always wearing like short dresses and skirts — sometimes with stockings, sometimes her legs are bare — anyways there is a reason he is looking)

Lei: What do you like better?

Vail: What?

Lei: Stockings or bare legs?

Vail: Stockings (because it’s more fun to imagine taking them off :3 and it looks less cold)

Lei: No hesitation… Alright.

And then starting the next day she starts to wear stockings/ tights more. Vail doesn’t ask but she explains it like

Lei: Since you’re guarding me, I thought that I should give you some motivation, y’know. You can look — you just can’t touch.

Liam in this world

In this AU, similar to canon, Liam would do anything to make sure his younger bro Alba has a good future so after their parents’ death, he turned to crime to make a living for Alba.

Possibly went to jail a few times for pettier crimes. Eventually starts doing organized crime as a grunt/hitman.

Alba eventually found out about Liam’s criminal activities and cut Liam out (same as the canon LOL) but Liam is okay with this more so because he wants Alba to live the best life he can, untainted and pure as he is.

Liam still kinda stalks Alba creepily though, whenever he can or hires someone to do it/ gets someone from the gang to do it (maybe Rose or Elik? — whoever is willing)

Tiger + Elik

The twins, for as long as they knew, only had each other in life. So it makes sense that after all these twenty-something years, they still stick together as much as possible.

Part of the story for them in this AU is to learn that yes, they will always be important to each other, but also learning that they can be independent of each other

Liam gets close to both of the twins in different ways!

Elik cuz they’re both big bros. And they’re bros. And maybe more than just bros XD

Tiger because they just have similar ideologies and their personalities mesh well together so they’re very close friends! Liam also becomes her big bro (cute vibes only)

the twins are still very girlboss in this AU so they are like some of the #1 in Lexi’s group. (obviously).

Rose + Ceres

In this AU, Rose and Ceres grew up together and their parents were really bad so Rose took Ceres and escaped as soon as he could (maybe he was 18 and Ceres 10)

Rose had to turn to crime to ensure he could raise Ceres. But he would do anything for his precious younger sister…

They’re quite close in this AU but Ceres feels guilty that her brother went to such lengths so that she could grow up… and Rose feels guilty he got Ceres involved in this mess.

At some point Ceres almost got taken which made Rose have a bad time and break down but it’s okay she was okay in the end and Rose trained her in shooting after so she could protect herself

She doesn’t like using guns but she’ll do anything to ease her bro’s burden

Ceres does feel like a little trapped bird in a cage sometimes though… it suffocates her a little.

Ceres + Elise + Lei

After prison (?) Lei had to turn to doing underground doctoring which was pretty dangerous since she was a lone young woman. Elise heard about her and asked if she wanted to work with her (and Ceres)

Of course there is no reason not to accept so Lei did and thus they opened their own little underground clinic, mostly catering to the organized crime groups.

Lei got particularly close to Ceres because they were close in age and they spend the most time together in the clinic. Ceres because she’s not that allowed to leave and Lei because she’s cooking drugs.

Sometimes Lei would joke with Ceres that she could be her older sis (instead of Rose LOL)

Ceres: My older sister? Like… my sister in law?

Lei: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Lei makes a disgusted face: I love you, Ceres, but I would not marry Rose for you. I’m sorry.

Ceres: A-ah… o-okay…

Lei: We don’t have to be sisters by law. After all, when has the law ever done something good for us?

Lei: Instead… we can be sisters by oath (smiles)

Ceres smiles back: Okay… sisters by oath.

Sometimes Lei helps Ceres sneak out… because if Ceres is with her she’ll be safe right? :) Lei will protect her.

An intended promise

Lei: You know, I don’t think it would be too bad, if the three of us stuck together for the rest of our lives.

Ceres: Y-yeah? You think?

Lei nods: The prospects aren’t high, but…

Ceres: Pro-promise?

Lei: Well as long as I don’t croak early and the two of you don’t get married, yes I promise.

Ceres: D-don’t say that! We will all be fine…

Lei: …

Lei: Yeah….

(in her thoughts) Hopefully…

Since the red dragons all carry red dragon tattoos/ insignias… I think it would be cute if the doctor gals also have their own little symbol they carry. I have not decided what this symbol is, but probably a bird like a dove (Elise is an eagle, Lei a swan, and Ceres in this AU is a bird in a cafe. Doves are supposed to represent peace). It’s probably a little keychain though.

Elise hangs it on her stethoscope

Ceres on car keys (when she is allowed to go out LOL)

Lei’s is on her keys to the clinic.

It would be a shame… if anything happened to anyone in this group. They are very tight-knit and all of them play very important parts in the running of their little underground clinic…

Big Bro squad

Liam, Rose, Elik. They hang out a lot and do missions a lot together XD they can all relate that they are big bros who would do anything for their younger sibs…

POSSIBLY AN OT3??? Age gap between Rose and the other 2 is concerning but let’s handwave this for funsies. Maybe they are just FWB who knows this is a spicy dark AU so anything goes.

THEY CAN ALSO JUST BE SUPER GOOD FRIENDS. Not everything has to be a ship. I said. Me LOL. But no, I just want them to be a squad for sure.

Ceres gets kidnapped by one of the rival gangs.

Against Lexi’s wishes, they (Rose, Lei, Vail) go on a rescue mission to get her back.

They might also convince Liam + Elik/Tiger for this rescue mission due to big bro squad camaraderie.

It’s very dramatic and epic — stealth mission after all to break in and get the girl

Rose actually doesn’t miss many shots this time and he snipes a bunch of people. He first takes out some guards at a distance before the others go in.

Liam goes in guns/sword ablazing —what is stealth? He tanks again.

Elik is very calculated about the way he approaches this. He doesn’t need to stealth though cuz everyone will die as soon as he steps in #girlboss

Vail stealths… it’s in his kit to ambush people from the shadows.

Lei is also just shooting cuz she does not have stealth. She even wears pants for this mission. (She only wears pants when she’s serious LMAO)

They get Ceres, who is in a little room on her own, knocked out (sedative), tied up to a chair, and gagged. She is otherwise okay.

It is concerningly easy to get to Ceres once they kill everyone and the way back seems unusually clear…

As if it were a trap :3 Or a set up for something :3

Lexi shakes her head at them when they return… saying there will be repercussions for their actions…

After this rescue mission, Vail and Lei grow a little bit closer. They start to talk more over the few months and sometimes also borderline flirt. This flirting is in Lei's personality though — she’s used to sucking up a little.

Jacket

Vail, putting his jacket on her again because she’s cold: Why do you never bring a jacket?

Lei: It wouldn’t go well with my outfit. Besides, why bring my own jacket when you’ll give me yours~

She’s right though LOL he will give her his jacket.

Collar

I just think this would be hot. There's no particular reason why Vail ended up with a collar from Lei. It’s a very simple choker — like a stretchy durable piece of durable fabric with a silver clasp… TRUST ME BRO

Someone may have called Vail Lexi’s dog or Lei’s dog or just a dog in general

Lei: Don’t listen to that drivel. You aren’t anyone’s dog.

Vail: Well… essentially I am your guard dog right now.

Lei: Bodyguard. You’re a bodyguard.

Vail: I dunno, sometimes I think dogs are better than people…

Lei: … You’re not wrong about that… but…

Lei: What, you want a collar, too?

Vail: If it’s a gift from you.

around here is where Lei starts to suspect something is wrong.

She still gives him the collar though :3 cuz it’s sexy.

Lei: Since you asked so nicely, here.

Lei: It’s really simple though, so you can throw it away if you want.

For some reason, Vail is exceptionally touched by such a small tiny action.

Vail: I won’t.

And then he puts it on right away. He only takes it off when he’s showering, and cleans it immediately if it ever gets bloodied.

Name

In the beginning, he simply called her “Doc”.

But at some point during the bodyguarding (close to like 4 months and almost every day too?) this changed.

Lei: You know, you don’t have to keep calling me “Doc”. I’m not your doctor right now.

Vail: Yeah? What do you want to be called?

Lei: Just call me Lei, at least we are alone.

Since it is her request, who is he to refuse?

Jealousy

canon Vail doesn’t get jealous but this AU’s Vail… is a spicy meatball also for legitimate plot reasons.

Specifically, this event takes place where after Lei treats a patient, they’re extra touchy with her, which she shuts down quickly, but the patient is generally being a sleaze?

Lei asks Vail to show the patient out the door and he does, but as soon as he and the patient are in the alleyway, he kills the patient in cold blood.

He doesn’t even realize — he’s doing this subconsciously — until the blood is on his sword and hands.

He just realizes after that, he didn’t like how the person was treating her… and in cold anger he decided that such a person was not needed in the world.

He has to get rid of the body first before returning

When he comes back a little later, Lei notices the blood on him and after confirming it’s not his injuries… she realizes he’s just killed someone.

Lei: Who was it? That you killed?

Vail: …

Vail: The guy just now.

Lei: Why? Was he from a rival gang?

Vail: … He touched you.

This is more evidence that allows Lei to realize something is wrong with Vail.

She used to feel safe with him… but now, she just feels dread… and fear.

“More Addictive than Any Drug”

Lei is not blind, she notices him looking at her mouth, so she says, mostly as a joke.

Lei: You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.

Vail: And what if I do?

Lei raises her eyebrow, clearly not expecting him to admit it. With a smirk, she beckons him forward with a finger.

He obliges, and once he’s right in front of her, she pins him to the wall, presses her knee between his legs and then leans in to kiss him, hard.

“Fuck” he thinks. Because her kisses are more addictive than any drugs he’s taken before. And he suffers withdrawal symptoms every time.

His fantasy (dreams) and reality blurs a little when it comes to this. But a dream is no longer enough…

I don’t know where this scene fits in the plot but it’s spicy so it has to happen. Also that previous point is important. :3

“First Time”

Things get spicy real fast… not sure why this happened but I need it for plot reasons… plot reasons XD

Maybe they just gave into the desire — what is self control when there’s always a chance you’re going to die the next day?

The other option is she got drunk somehow (maybe the stress of the situation) and called him up LOL cuz she has a diff personality when she’s drunk.

Canon Vail would not do anything to her while she’s drunk/ under the influence, but this AU’s Vail has a reason why he’d give in…

It's Vail's first time so it’s still spicy in that regard because Lei is still leading.

Spicy things happen and he finally gets to touch the legs and thighs he sometimes looks at.

He whispers the words "I love you" before he passes out which makes Lei freeze up and realize she’s made a huge mistake.

If she’s drunk this is what causes her to have a moment of being not drunk → cold water to her face

Spicy scene: Morning after

He wakes up alone the morning after and finds no notes left for him or anything — no trace of what happened last night. He goes to find her, but when he goes to her workplace, he finds Liam standing outside the door.

Vail: What are you doing here?

Liam: I’m Doc’s bodyguard.

Vail, frowning: No, I’M her bodyguard.

Liam: Not as of this morning. Ask Lexi for details.

Vail, bristiling with anger: Are you fucking with me right now?

The door opens and it is Lei who has her hands on her hips. For once she’s wearing pants: You two are making a ruckus while I’m trying to do my work.

Vail: Why the fuck is Liam your bodyguard now?

She seems to hesitate for a little bit but she exchanges nods with Liam and finally invites Vail to come inside the room where she’s working on drugs.

Vail: Lei-

Lei: Doc. Call me Doc.

Lei: … Last night was a mistake, Vail.

Vail is deeply hurt by these words: What do you mean a mistake?

Lei: … A temporary lapse in judgment. We were simply giving into our animalistic desires.

Vail: Animalistic desires? I said I love you.

Lei: … Love doesn’t exist for people like us, Vail. I’m sure you didn’t mean it. You just got caught up in the moment.

Vail: What if I mean it?

Lei: You don’t.

Vail: How would you know that?

Lei: …

Lei: … Well, either way, you definitely can’t be my bodyguard anymore.

Vail: Why not?

Lei hisses: It’s for your own sake. This is supposed to be a job for you — you can’t just bring your personal feelings into it.

Vail: Then what was last night supposed to mean?

Lei: … You’re right, I’m sorry. If I had known it was your first time I wouldn’t have played around with you.

Vail: … Is that all? Just that you wanted to “play around” a little?

Lei: …Yeah. That’s all.

He is silent, the hurt stinging, so he says nothing. They both stay in this tense silence for a long time — the clock continues to tick tick tick on the wall and it is the only noise for a few long minutes.

Lei, more gently: You can love anyone you want, Vail. It just can’t be me.

“I don’t want anyone else” Vail thinks, “I want you.” But he doesn’t say this. He cannot, because he knows she would shut him down even further. He simply clenches his fists.

“Alright.” He says instead. What else can he do?

Lei seems to smile at him, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Lei: I need to do my work now, and I’m sure Lexi has tasks for you to do. Let Ceres or Elise know if you want any drugs on the way out though.

His voice is empty when he says his second ��alright". And it takes every fibre of effort in his being to walk away, but he manages to leave.

He doesn’t see how when she turns away, her hands are shaking as they grip the glassware she’s working with.

Withdrawal symptoms

Time passes. They do their jobs separately.

Everytime he gets injured (and he seems to get more injured during this time, especially because he gets distracted a lot and keeps thinking about her), he goes to their clinic hoping to even just get a small glimpse of Lei but it’s always Ceres and Elise who treat him.

Ceres treats him silently and rarely, only for minor injuries (first aid lower than Elise + Lei)

Elise is usually the one who treats him, and usually tells him Lei is 1) not here, 2) busy, 3) seeing another patient.

Elise usually doesn't say much but once she tells him that he needs to stop coming here to try to see Lei because she has been firm she won't see him.

He asks why.

Elise: Lei… she thinks it's best for you if you can forget about her as quickly as possible.

Vail: I'm trying but it's not working.

Elise: Hmm… clearly. But she is right, whatever you’re feeling… it isn’t as you think it is.

Vail: Why does everyone keep telling me what I should feel?

Elise: …

Elise: Our advice comes with experience. Of course I cannot control what you feel, but, just err on the side of caution when it comes to these things.

Elise: After all… this world is cruel to those who show weakness.

Vail: I'm strong, I can protect her.

Elise: Maybe you are. But you haven't considered that if you’re the one showing weakness… she might be the one to get hurt.

Elise no longer elaborates as the treatment has ended. On the way out she does say something else

Elise: If you really do care about her… it’s best to stay away.

Vail still doesn’t understand but just generally feels bad as he continues to stay away. There’s a constant sort of small pit in his stomach as he’s separated from her and even though spending time away should make it fade — it doesn’t…

It is also heavily hinted during this period that the sedative he gets from her has trace amounts of the yandere/obsession drug in it (but if you see previous parts, this has been foreshadowed). This is why he is extra obsessive / why he developed feelings so fast. He is not aware of this at the time and Lei began to suspect it later.

Elise has also been told by Lei of the issue and now she is seeing it in action.

Re-meeting

Liam gets busy / assigned to do stuff with Tiger + Elik (in terms of trying to crack down whom exactly are the rival gangs trying to take them down) so Vail is reassigned to be Lei’s bodyguard

It has been ~2-3 months and the first re-meeting starts off a bit tense…

From Vail’s POV he is immensely excited though — as though it’s a natural body response from him and he cannot explain why.

Imagine like a dog wagging his tail — but he tries his best to hide this.

Lei is like: Oh good, you seem to be well.

Vail, in pain is like: Yeah I got over it. Don’t worry about it/ about me.

He is lying, but he got better at hiding it… he used to not lie at all… but he has to now.

Because in his eyes, being just a bodyguard is better than being nothing at all…

Lei: … Good. I’m glad to hear it.

She thinks MAYBE the drug is wearing off and she’s relieved but she’ll still work on the “cure” if she can.

She later finds out the drug has not worn off.

She does get attacked eventually by a group of people durin this time.

Vail does his bodyguard duties all cool and he gets injured in the fight, so he gets treatment by her ASAP.

He goes unconscious from blood loss but when he wakes up, he finds himself lying in a bed and she’s like there with him, asleep on the floor beside the bed.

For extra spiciness she might be holding his hand, which she planned to retract before he woke up but she fell asleep from the hard work of making sure he didn’t die.

He’s like “don’t play around with my feelings like this” but he takes the hand that’s holding his and kisses it.

She doesn’t wake up.

Because of fatigue, he does end up being able to fall asleep and when he wakes up the second time, she is gone, like she was never there to begin with.

Tiger finally breaks into the systems of the rival gangs and they figure out the main gangs that are after them. Lexi + Keeper + Rose and some of the higher ups decide it’s time to get rid of them because they’ve been a pain in the assforever → final battle/ big confrontation time.

They’ve been doing plot stuff in the BG but I’m not actually that well-versed with mafia AUs so just know the plot is going on in the BG but… the action is NOT the focus of this story :3 it’s just the setting for something else I want to convey.

“Dinner”

She’s changing his bandages for the last time before the final battle — he’s basically healed enough to fight and there is no choice.

Vail: If I live, let’s go out for dinner.

Lei: … That’s a death flag. You shouldn’t say those things.

Vail: We deal with death flags all the time. I’ll be fine.

(his thoughts) And as long as you’re alright… then that is what matters.

She is silent for a long time. Because he can’t see her expression right now since her face is downturned, he has no idea what her face looks like. Is it angry like it has been before? Is it disgusted? Is it sad? He will never know.

Lei: … Maybe. (she finally answers very quietly. She is still looking down and shadows obscure her face.)

Vail: Maybe?

Lei: I didn’t outright say no.

Vail: If that’s the case then it just might be enough to get me through this.

She doesn’t reply. (She is too scared that she will say her true feelings if she opens her mouth, so she keeps it shut).

There’s a super epic final battle with Lexi’s group vs some other gangs. Lexi’s group wins of course with no casualties — although there were some close ones.

almost deaths: Keeper, Zoey, Rose, Maric, Tiger

The rival gangs found the hideout that Keeper + Tiger were in doing comms work and hacking work, but they manage to escape. Maric was probably the one with them, and so also got caught in the crossfire. They then join the main battle, Flash brings them.

They are injured so Elise/Lei/Ceres patch them up… well as best as they can cuz this is semi-realistic and there are no magical regen stims.

Maric is the most injured, he unfortunately cannot participate in the battle after but he did his job of guarding their squishy girlies so y’know give him some applause please.

Then both Keeper and Tiger go in guns ablazing as well — when I’m talking epic I’m saying gunshots explosions everywhere LOL

Keeper steals one of Zoey’s shotguns and uses that.

Zoey and Rose almost get taken out by a bomb / explosion/ cave in but somehow Liam saves them (just like in the canon universe)

Lexi is of course on the frontlines with the other DPSes — Elik, Zoey, Liam, Vail. They are all girlbossing their way through this.

Ceres even goes out and shoots some people — I imagine she takes down someone who almost killed Rose. Sibling bond uwu

Elise is in the corner providing medical care. Lei and Ceres are with her — although Lei is shooting at people who come too close XD.

“Support? Yeah I support the enemy’s right to die” — Lei, probably.

Lei probably ends up fighting a lot/ not standing in the corner in the end cuz she is capable of that.

Everyone lives :3 well except for the gangs they decimate. They uh destroy a lot of gangs one by one… it’s only the remnants that are really in the final battle, trying to get revenge on their fallen brethren. Lexi’s group has been slowly whittling the forces of the scummiest over time.

They celebrate after with drinks + dinner party

People who drink: Lexi, Rose, Elik, Tiger, Liam, Zoey, Vail

People who do not drink/ drank nonalcoholic beverages: Maric (he’s in the hospital bed LOL) , Flash, Ceres, Keeper, Lei, Elise (she’s watching over Maric LOL)

Lei leaves early to “go sleep” but she’s really going to work on developing a cure for the Bessenheit symptoms and Vail notices and tells her he’ll walk her home.

She’s like “You don’t have to guard me anymore.” (thinking the gang situation is resolved)

He’s like “I want to, though.”

Again, she is silent and feeling hella guilty.

During this time he asks her about dinner again and she’s like “... I will think about it carefully. But I also have something that I might need to tell you so please give me a few days.”

This sounds more hopeful than he was expecting so he’s like “Alright. I will wait.”

And so she gets dropped off at her workplace?, but they don’t notice there is a car following them with someone watching very carefully…

The “End”

They think because they uncovered and eliminated the groups that were after Lexi’s group they’re safe now.

A few days pass uneventfully and some of their guards lower, although strangely, they never discovered the mole.

Lei still hasn’t responded to Vail’s dinner request. She is too afraid and she knows that his feelings are all but lies, so she doesn’t want to complicate it, but she’s thinking of telling him why / informing him of the likely contaminant in his sedatives. She’s already stopped giving him those sedatives but knows the effects are still lingering based on his reactions toward her…

She’s considering telling him why she cannot accept the dinner request after she goes to black market that day.

Lei gets into the familiar car of the gang’s getaway driver, Flash… she had asked him prior to take her to black market so she could get the materials for a drug she’s trying to figure out what is wrong with Vail’s sedative.

He opens the backseat door for her, which he has done for her before so it is not unusual and she’s busy thinking about what to do with the Black market.

But instead of going to the driver’s seat, he overpowers her with his strength and injects her with a sedative she had given to him days prior…

Specifically he sometimes does deliveries for her + maybe for the gang in general, so it was not unusual for him to have access to the materials she was using…

It is also possible he simply managed to steal one, but I think it’s spicier if he simply got Lei to trust him enough to believe his word that Lexi or someone else needs 1 dose of the sedative.

She thinks: Fuck, the mole was Flash all along… I shouldn’t have trusted him…

And she goes unconscious…

When she wakes up, she finds herself in an unfamiliar location — a dirty and abandoned barn, likely far away from the city. She is tied up and cannot move, Flash looks at her with surprise. Her gun is in his hands, pointed at her head.

Flash: Thought that sedative was supposed to knock out a grown man for 12 hours.

Lei: It should. But I built up a resistance to it. I like to be prepared.

Here it is revealed she also needs sleeping pills in this AU. Cuz trauma.

Flash: I’m surprised you’re not screaming your lungs out. I didn’t gag you.

Lei: What’s the point in that? No one will come save me.

Flash: Oh, you’d be surprised.

Lei: …

Lei: Well, what? Is this where you’re going to monologue like a villain?

Flash: A villain?

Flash: Believe me when I say, I didn’t want to do this.

Lei: Whether you wanted to or not, it doesn’t change that you did. Intentions mean nothing in this world, only actions matter.

Flash: That’s true. But I am sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be you. It could have been anyone else. But I’m out of time and my hands are tied.

Lei: Say whatever you want to make yourself feel better. But it doesn’t change what happened.

She tries to struggle a little more in the ties, but she truly doesn’t have the strength to escape. And she’s tired, and she’s cold. She wasn’t lying when she said no one will come to save her.

Lei (tired voice): Why don’t you get it over with?

Flash: Maybe I’m just trying to buy you some time.

Lei: (scoffs) Buy me some time? Or maybe you’re just having fun trying to torture your prey before her death?

Lei (sigh): Just kill me already…

Flash: You really that eager to die?

Lei: Don't really have a choice here, do I?

Flash: Maybe, not. But what about those you’ll leave behind? Don’t you think about them at all?

Lei: …

Lei: That’s not my responsibility.

Flash: Maybe, but what might they think? Elise? Ceres?

Flash: … Vail?

Lei: …

Lei: They shouldn’t think anything of it at all. We are all not strangers to death. They will be fine.

Lei: Please… just get it over with, Flash.

She finally hears the safety click OFF and wonders how long Flash has been keeping her here for, without just shooting her while she was unconscious. He could have even done so in the car, or could have dropped her body off a cliff. Maybe he was not lying in saying he tried to buy some time for her, or maybe he was just getting off to torturing her a little before her death. That is something she will never know.

As she closes her eyes and braces herself for the gunshot that will finally end it all, she wonders how much of her words she’s just said to Flash are lies and how much is the truth.

She hears the ringing gunshot

But she feels nothing.

There’s a crashing noise of wood breaking and when she opens her eyes, she sees Vail crashing through the barn door, eyes blazing. He is holding a gun in his hands as well — the very weapon he hates.

They exchange fire for a while, but Flash is fast and dexterous and Vail is not adept with his gun. Vail also manages to dodge the gunshots Flash fires at him.

But unfortunately, Flash manages to land a shot at Lei who is still tied up and hits something in her abdomen.

Through the red mist of pain, she sees Flash mouth the words “I’m sorry” and he promptly runs away.

You can see the internal conflict where Vail starts to run after Flash, but he sees the amount of blood pouring out of Lei and goes over to her instead.

He holds her in her arms but she’s bleeding too much… A doctor cannot administer first aid on herself, and he’s essentially useless as she’s quickly bleeding out. Even if Elise were here herself, the wound is in such a vital area it would only really be a miracle that would allow her to live.

Lei: Why… did you come?

Vail: To save you.

Lei: Sorry… you wasted… your time.

Vail: Don’t say that I’ll get you to Elise and you’ll be alright… you’ll be alright.

Lei: Not enough time.

Vail: Save your strength. You just need to hold on a little longer.

Lei laughs bitterly but it turns to hacking coughs and she coughs up blood.

Lei: That dinner… I wanted…

Vail: You can tell me later. We have to get you out of here.

Lei: I wanted… to say…yes.

Vail: Don’t say these things… why did you-

Lei: But… your feelings… it’s all… a lie… I'm sorry.

Lei: Vail… Forget me… and.. goodbye…

And thus her green eyes flutter shut and they do not open again. She lets out the softest and shakiest sigh — her last breath, and no more air enters or escapes her lips. Like a candle extinguished out by the tiniest breath, the life in her has been snuffed out. This bud has wilted before it had the chance to bloom.

Vail: Lei?

There is no reply. Only the sounds of his own harsh breathing.

Still holding her in his arms, he bends his head over and tries to listen for a heartbeat. There is none.

Alone in the barn, holding the body of the woman he loved, Vail bends his head over and cries.

He could not protect her.

He could not save her.

“The Truth”

He brings the body back so Elise and Ceres and the others can see, holding it like it is something precious.

Before they burn (?) the body, he gently brushes her hair from her face. If it weren’t for the blood, it would look like she’s sleeping.

Ceres is heavily distraught and unstable over this so they have to sedate her over this. She straight up breaks down when she sees the body.

Elise seems unaffected on the outside but she breaks down when she's alone later.

Elise: I see.

and that is all that you get from her.

Later (maybe a few days later?) Elise shows Vail certain pages from Lei that were in her lab notebook. They state:

"The sedative I have been giving Vail seems to have trace amounts of another drug. Elise suspects it has been contaminated with Bessenheit or related family of drugs. Likely, raw materials have been contaminated with it, possibly from Chemical Y because it is a liquid reagent that may have Bessenheit dissolved into it. Further investigation is required.”

There are many drawings of what appear to be metabolic pathways of how drugs affect human systems, lots of complicated diagrams of the brain, thyroid, etc. and very neat handwriting. There are also various chemical names and recipes listed.

There is a list of objectives written on the side:

Determine the contaminant → likely Bessenheit

Determine the source of contamination → likely raw materials? Check out Black Market?

Determine a possible solution to reverse the lingering effects of the drug → possibly xxx hormone pathway + xyz metabolic pathway + chemical X

Tell Vail about the situation when prior objectives are mostly complete.

A sticky note says: Go to Black market — Flash — xx pm. It is dated for the day she died.

Elise tells him about a drug her and Lei’s former company was developing that causes the taker of the drug to develop an obsession with the giver of the drug… = Bessenheit

Elise also tells him since he’s only been getting trace amounts, it should not affect him as much as it did the other test subjects, but clearly, he suffers from some symptoms.

She explains she and Lei started suspecting that he was under the influence of this drug around 3-4 months ago, hence why they had him stay away from her until they could find a solution to it but… unfortunately they were still working on it when Lei died.

She does not explicitly tell him Lei was looking into this that day she died, but he can see from the sticky note that was definitely the case.

So how much of his feelings were real and how many were from the drug? There is no clear distinction between them — it is muddled and murky…

Lei died believing that his feelings were all a lie fed to him by the drug. That is why she could not accept them, because she believed they were not real.

She died believing that she ruined something for him when she was trying to help him (with the sedative). She died believing that it was all her fault…

She told him to forget her because she wants him to no longer be affected by the drug. She wants him to live his own truth, untainted by all the lies.

He will never be able to accomplish her dying wish to forget about her… Is that due to the drug or did it simply enhance his true feelings?

They will never find out this truth… because she no longer exists in this world.

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anangelcalledinquisitor · 2 years

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Holding the World: Bad Ending

AO3 Link

(Sun and Moon angst, CW: child death, kidnapping, and infanticide)

I was writing a Very Happy Father's Day piece for @sun-e-chips , and then i saw artwork for the Rusted Balls, Faded Ribbons AU from @jack-o-phantom and then i wrote this. Might add more angst to it. Haven't decided.

Sun sat in the daycare, staring down at his hands, the faded and chipping paint glaringly obvious in the stark lights of the daycare. He knew what day it was. He knew it was well past closing. And he knew Moon was silent for good reason today.

The lights went out right on time, and Sun didn’t move, didn’t fight, as Moon emerged, accompanied by the faint clicking and whispering of fans. Moon also stayed right where he was, staring numbly at their hands, blue fingertips almost black in the almost non-existent light. He should go. He should do a patrol. Should do… something…

He didn’t move.

‘Sunny,’ he started to say, their headspace echoing with his brother’s silence. Moon’s head hung low as he continued to stare at his hands.

Sunspot had left.

That wasn’t strictly true.

Sunspot had been taken away, screaming at them as he’d sat frozen in place, his visual sensors glitching so badly that he couldn’t make out their face, only the tears, the arch of your eyebrow…

The sound of their screams as they shouted for their newborns.

Sunspot had told them once as they watched some crime serial, that supposedly some plastics held onto bodily fluids, no matter how much they were cleaned or washed, and they didn’t know if that was true, but considering how porous some of those things were, it wouldn’t surprise them. That night, with the blood and viscera still on his hands, the evidence all around him, he tried to wash it off, wash it away, but he could still see it, still see the flecks of dark blood and smears across the lenses of his eyes, the spatter across his clothes, and he couldn’t feel clean again, knowing what heh had unwittingly done.

After that, they never saw their Sunspot again. A member of security had come by and collected all of Sunspot’s things, the baby toys and clothes and the empty crib and all of their personal effects that had been scattered around the room. Sunspot never returned, and the two tiny bundles…

Moon could never forget what happened to them. It was his own fault, after all.

“Sunny,” Moon tried out loud, speaking into the hauntingly empty daycare. “… I’m sorry,” he finally whispered.

‘It’s your fault,’ Sun said in response. ‘They left because of what you did.’

“… I know…”

‘How could you?’ Sun sounded like he was on the verge of tears, Moon closing his eyes tightly as he forced himself to take it. If his brother would talk to him, even to shout, even to scold and blame and hurt him… anything was preferable to the silence… ‘How could you?? They trusted us! They loved us! We loved them! How could you hurt them like that???’

“I didn’t want to…” Moon rasped, sitting alone in the dark as the guilt weighed them so heavily. “Please, believe me, Sun…”

‘Why should I?!’ Sun screamed in reply, Moon’s fingers clutching at his faceplate as he trembled in the darkness. ‘Sunspot trusted us! The babies trusted us! They were literal infants! They trusted you to keep them safe! How can I ever trust you again?!’ Sun wailed in their headspace, and Moon’s shoulders shook with strangled sobs. ‘How could you hurt them???’

“I’m sorry,” Moon whispered, his shoulders rattling with the force of his shaking. “I’m so… so sorry…”

‘I will never forgive you for what you’ve done!’ Sun shouted. ‘You can never be trusted with the children! Never trusted with anyone! You will never be trusted again! Ever!’

‘… I know…’ Moon whispered as the lights came back on.

Sun got to his feet and wasted no time at all. He would make sure no child ever had to come face to face with moon again. Not at naptime. Not during storms when the lights would go out. Not at all.

“Never again,” Sun said, securing the last generator. That night, he sat in their room, staring up at the framed pictures he had kept. He had hidden it when they came to get their Sunspot’s things. There were only four of them, one of Sunspot holding his hand, belly swollen in their overalls and flower crown one of the children had brought you that morning. The picture had been taken just as one of the little ones had kicked, his look of surprise and their laugh captured forever in the moment. It was his favorite picture to stare at.

Another was of their sweetly sleeping face, nestled into Moon’s arms, his hat pulled over their head.

Sun had carefully made sure to cut Moon out of that picture when your name had been removed from the employment roster, the record sealed so tightly that even Moon couldn’t get into it.

Moon had torn apart all the blankets on the bed when he saw it.

The third one was their Sunspot, their Starlight, sitting up in that hospital bed, holding the tiniest bundles to their chest and looking about ready to drop, Dennis and Millie sitting at their side and beaming like the proud grandparents they are.

Were, Sun reminded himself, staring at the picture and longingly touching those tiny scrunched faces.

The last one was of Eclipse, holding the twins and rocking them to sleep in their four arms, expertly holding two bottles as they fed the babies at the same time. “That’s cheating!” Sunspot had said, laughing as they took the picture before leaning their face up for a gentle kiss.

“They wanted to be fed!” Eclipse had said, heart full of love as he held his family close.

Now, Sun sat alone and quiet in their large, empty room, his sunbeams drooping sadly as he said, “Happy Fathers’ Day, Sunspot… We’re sorry…”

Sun vowed he would never accept another Father’s Day card, even when the daycare opened again, sans naptime attendant. He didn’t deserve it. He would never deserve it again.

#my writing #fnaf security breach #moon/sun/reader #angsty writing #cw bad ending #cw child harm #cw child death

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ravenconspirac3 · 4 months

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I've done a little writing..

I plead teehee to any angst in the writings I do-..

#minecraft #fable smp #fsmp #fsmpblr #writing #small writing #angst #angsty #angsty writing #I plead teehee #I let my brain free sometimes..#this is what happens when I let my brain loose

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thatuselesshuman · 4 months

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Cost of a Hero

I've only been writing happy things for the last couple of days, and it's not good for the mental health to not write at least on piece of angst, so have this mess of a 'story'

TW: Depression, Mental illness, reference to consensual dying, & child death

The wind blew past, but I couldn't feel it, even in my short sleeve t-shirt. I knew, logically, how cold it was outside; how I would most likely be sick if I stood on the edge of the bridge overlooking the small river for too long. There wasn't a soul on the bridge, as it was too cold and too windy and too late for human beings. Though I was outside, contemplating taking a small swim — only further proof of my otherness.

If this was a novel, it would be raining. But if this was a novel, I'd be a shitty protagonist. It is true, I did my damn hardest to be who I should. I tried to fool the world into calling me human. I was kind, I tried to find hope in the beliefs of others, I tried to be the type of human I wish I was. And yet, no matter how many humans leave with a smile on their face, or a fully heart, I still fail in convincing myself of my humanity.

I see the world in a way that no human should. It's bland and desaturated. The colors of the world that make it full of life feel alien, like I was never supposed to be apart of it. It loses it's life and color all too soon, fading into a sad wash of blacks and grays. Once it looses it's color, it never lights up again.

I am inhuman, merely a shadow parading as a man. Humans are truly ignorant creatures, as no one has noticed the creature among them. They proclaim me a hero, as the best among them. They say that my good works make the world a better place, but I fail to see it. What good could come from an inhuman monster like myself? Why do they swear to love me? They hardly know who I am. I have only met a few in my life, and yet thousands say they have a love for me that I hardly understand. They scream my name, yet I can't help but see the lie in it all.

I do not understand their love. Why would you want to protect someone who you have to only seen from afar? Can you truly feel that deeply for someone when you have only seen them a few times?

A boy took a bullet for me today. A boy, no older than 13, decided that my life was more important than his. He is a stupid little boy. Why would you sacrifice your life, one that had meaning, for a thing like me? He is a pure soul. I had to bury him a few minutes ago. His family asked me to do it, though I don't know why. Perhaps they share the same opinion as me. It should have be me in that all too small casket.

I'm so tired. That's the only emotion I can feel in this colorless world. I have never felt joy or anger or sadness, though I came close to the last today. I have only ever felt tired. Tired of pretending to be good, to be human. Tired of being tired. Tired of this thing we call life. What's the point of pretending to be good, when people go out of their way to die for me? Why can't they just let me die, free of that guilt? Let me drift through it all. Let me show my ugliness to the world, and let them be scared. Let them kill me instead of themselves. It isn't murder, if you're killing a creature instead of a man.

What is the point of being good, if people die anyways? I am not like the rest, I can only see the logic of it all. No, instead of being good, I will be horrible. I will make them hate instead of love. No one will save me in exchange for themselves that way. Instead, they will kill me to save a loved one. As the world should be.

#writing #angst #angsty writing #short story #character study #of a sort #writeblr #hero to villain #To answer the question I'm probably gonna get #Yes I'm fine #Not going through anything

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inkskinned · 10 months

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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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urfriendlywriter · 7 months

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How to write angst ?

@urfriendlywriter | req by @everynowandthenihaveacrisis @aidyaiden :)

know your character. from their deepest fears to what they cherish the most. know your deepest fear, ask yourself how you will react and feel at that moment. "oh shit, if this happened to me I'll lose my mind" what's that type of scenario for you? write it. :)

decide on the type of angst you are going for!

major, minor, physical, emotional, paranormal, spiritual, verbal, abusive, quarrel, misunderstanding, etc.

and then, decide on--what reaction you can take out of your character by doing what to them.

are they gonna be, held at a gunpoint to give something up? or have their soul wrecked by whom they thought were close to them? or is it going be horror, or etctec, decide on it.

moving on to actually writing it-

Tip 1 - Use sensory details.

her eyes brimmed with tears

his chest heaved

pain clawed at his heart, as his face twisted with hurt

his scream pierced my heart

her lips quivered

she dug her nails into her palms (to distract herself, to stop it from shaking, etc)

show what is happening to ur MC, instead of telling it.

Tip 2 - how to actually write it.

If they're panicking, make them notice too many things at once, show every detail that they're seeing, feeling, from touch, to that burning sensation on their eyes, the blood on the ground, that dryness of their throat, the buzzing in their head and their parted lips unable to trust their own sight, and--and, boom! have them register that they're really really in trouble. and that they've to act fast.

use short, very minimal type of writing for this. make it long, but not long enough that it feels like it's being dragged.

the readers should hold themselves back from skimming the page out of curiousity, they should be in their toes to find out what happens next.

what does your MC do in times of panic? do they chant calm down to themselves, do they get angry, or start crying.. or?? what makes your character genuinely feel an emotion so hard that they'll burst?

there's always something, someone that'll always give them love and easily can be that something or someone to take it away. yk.

Tip 3 - crying.

what is close to your character that u can deprive them of? will it make them cry? beg for it?

what will make ur character cry so hard, that their scream fills everyone's ear, stays in their minds like ghosts and always haunts them?

make a character who never cries, burst out with tears.

while writing crying, focus on the 5 senses, one after the other.

focus it on their breath, make them run out of breath, gasp for air, feel like they're being choked, cry so scrutinizingly. it shud punch the reader's gut.

have them replay what had just happened over and over again in their head

best books and writing styles (for angst) to analyse and learn from (in my opinion);

3rd book in the AGGTM series (yk it hit hard like a truck. it got me depressed in bed the entire time lmao)

Five Survive by Holly Jackson. The moments of red outside of the truck, and moments leading to it.

there's this book called " Warm by @untalentedwriter127 " in wattpad. the author served angst for breakfast, lunch anddd dinner.

and if there's more angsty ones, drop em in the comments! :)

Hope this helps, tag me when yall write a masterpiece! ;)

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swordduels · 10 months

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Omg. I get really emotional from reading my own drabble. It's so angsty.

#mun talks #writing a drabble #angsty writing

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novelbear · 3 months

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a dialogue list for angry love confessions

prompt list by @novelbear | very slight cw for cursing!

"if you can't figure it out by now, then i don't have anything else to tell you."

"i thought that if i did all of this and came all this way, it would finally click for you."

"come back to me when you figure it out."

"i am done. i'm done waiting for you."

"i'm in love with you, you dumbass."

"what the hell did you think i meant by that?"

"i've been stupid enough to keep chasing after you."

"you knew. you knew i loved you and took full advantage of the fact that i'd do anything for you. and i knew that. i just kept at it hoping that one day you'd value me just as much."

"i've been following you around like a lost puppy since the day we met, yet you couldn't see?"

"i dropped everything to be with you! everything!"

"why do i keep doing this to myself..."

"i'm not losing the one person i love because of some stupid shit."

"is that what you wanted to hear? are you happy?"

"what do you think i've been doing this for?"

"i had thought all of this would be so different for us."

"don't you want the same?"

"god, how blind can you be?"

"open your eyes!"

"i've wasted years of my life chasing after someone who couldn't give a fuck about me..."

#otp prompts #writing prompts #imagine your otp #otp writing #writeblr #prompt list #otp #romance prompts #angst prompts #angst #angsty prompts #confession prompts #love confessions #dialogue prompts #prompts #request