Yesterday i lost my 5 month streak of being clean from sh, i don't know if i ever stop cvtting myself. Every time i think i ended it for good, the urge to feel pain comes back and i restart
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Self-aware of my self-destruction, yet unable to stop myself.
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on self-sabotage
the bomb, florence + the machine// appointments, julien baker// abject permanence, larissa pham// never wanted to dance, mindless self indulgence// king, florence + the machine// quote: lauren e. bowman// in the woods, tana french// does the universe fight for souls to be together?, jamie varon// olivia laing on loneliness, marrying the poet ian patterson and the challenge of intimacy// left alone, fiona apple// @mjalti //renegade, taylor swift// a burning hill, mitski// ICU, phoebe bridgers// legit tattoo gun, the front bottoms// just, radiohead
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girl math is saying u binged when in reality u had like 1000 cals today
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i feel like the longer you have depression n r suicidal, the less people care
bc its like~ hes depressed rn?? he always is
he hasnt eaten?? he will at some point
hes sh again?? they're never deep anyway
he's gone missing again?? its fine he'll come home
he overdosed again?? he never takes enough tho
he tried to kill himself?? thats okay the attempts have never worked~ so it wont this time
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