Midnight Pals: Cowboys
m Stoker: i've got a great story for you all tonight
Koontz: dracula?
Stoker: no dean it's not dracula
Barker: you have other stories besides dracula?
Stoker:
Stoker: yes clive i do have other stories
Barker: damn big if true!
Stoker: what are you implying clive? i have plenty of stories!
Stoker: i'm not some one hit wonder like mary
Mary Shelley: whoa there cowboy
Shelley: maybe you wanna back that the fuck up?
Stoker: i'm sorry mary, i didn't mean it
Stoker: clive got me all riled up
Barker: tho bram does raise an interesting point
Shelley: oh does he? does he raise an interesting point? and what would that point be clive?
Shelley: think real careful before you answer
Barker: i
Shelley: real careful
Shelley: real fuckin careful
Barker:
Barker: i withdraw the point
Shelley: i wrote plenty of stories
Shelley: not my fault you lot only wanna hear frankenstein all the fuckin time
Stoker: see? that's exactly what i'm saying
King: ah jeez we're sorry guys
King: it's just that, ya know…
King: dracula! frankenstein!
King: they're so iconic
King: they just distract us from all the other stories that you guys apparently wrote
Stoker: that's better
Stoker: i didn't JUST write dracula
Stoker: i also wrote the lair of the white worm
Barker: oh yeah we all remember THAT one
Poe: clive
Koontz: do the song!
Stoker: the song's not in the story
Barker: oh but the song does slap
Poe: dean loves the song
Poe: we all love the song
Stoker:
Stoker: siiigh
Stoker: [clapping, tapping foot] ohhhh john dampton went a-fishin', a-fishin' by the weir…
Stoker: you all remember the cowboy in dracula?
King: of course! the cowboy was the best part!
Stoker: well, what would you say if i wrote a story that was ALL cowboys?
King:
King: so like a western?
Stoker: a what?
Stoker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the shoulder of shasta
Stoker: a rollicking romance of the old west starring city gal Esse Elstree and rootin' tootin' cowpoke Grizzly Dick-
Barker: wait
Barker: haha wait
Barker: wait ha ha ha ha i'm sorry
Barker: what was ha ha ha
Barker: what ha ha ha ha
Barker: haha what was that name again ha ha
Stoker: Grizzly Dick
Barker: hoo ha ha ha oh my GOD
Barker: ha ha ha
Barker: edgar ha ha
Barker: edgar don't you ha ha ha
Barker: don't you have anything to say ha ha hoo
Poe: cliiiivfffffppppphhhbbttttttahhaah ha ha
Stoker: what's so funny?
Barker: nothinggggha ha ha
Stoker: do you think there's something funny about Grizzly Dick?
Barker: ha ha haaa
Stoker: Grizzly Dick is the best part of the story!
Barker: ha ha haaaaaa
Stoker: I love Grizzly Dick! Grizzly Dick is my favorite part!
Stoker: my wife loves Grizzly Dick!!
Barker: hahahahohgodi'mdying
Stoker: next you're going to act like there's something funny about Esse Elstree's stern governess
Stoker: miss gimp
Barker: HA HAH HAHAAAAA
Stoker: i'm not going to tell the story if you're going to laugh
Barker: haha ok ok i'll stop
Stoker: ok good
Stoker: so anyway Grizzy Dick says
Stoker: [ridiculous cowboy voice] "HOWDY PARDNA YIPPEE KAI YAY GIT ON A ROOTIN AND A TOOTIN-"
Barker: AHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Robert E Howard: ain't nothin funny about this, hombre
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Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and Robert Louis Stevenson reading like that Edgar Allan Poe meme
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fucked up vampire who sucks COCKS instead of blood. ha ha. I Will Just Say Anything On This Website
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The problem with Victor Frankenstein isn't that he's not as smart as he thinks he is. The problem with Victor Frankenstein is that he's exactly as smart as he thinks he is in one very specific area, and he just expects that to automatically translate to every other area of his life and is taken completely by surprise every single time it doesn't.
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The Creature: You made me, therefore you must bear the consequences of my creation.
Victor Frankenstein: Nuh-uh
The Creature: fym nuh-uh?
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wow I can't believe they made cole sprouse transgender and gave him bottom surgery via murder and a tanning bed, glad to have my opinions agreed with on this one (that frankenstein's creation has always been trans)
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“How can I move thee? Will no entreaties cause thee to turn a favourable eye upon thy creature, who implores thy goodness and compassion? Believe me, Frankenstein, I was benevolent; my soul glowed with love and humanity; but am I not alone, miserably alone? You, my creator, abhor me; what hope can I gather from your fellow creatures, who owe me nothing?”
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Midnight Pals: Cool Kids
Sam Richard: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the cartoon with a satanic grimoire in it
King: see, that's why we don't let dean watch tv
Richard: oh you shouldn't do that
Richard: kids gotta be free to explore
Koontz: you guys stop talking about me like i'm not here
King: dean it's for your own good
Koontz: stop it! i'm not just some little kid!
King: i don't know where he gets this
King: he's been so willful lately
King: he's been hanging out with that grady hendrix kid too much
King: a bad influence if you ask me
Grady Hendrix: [jumping sick flip on skateboard]
Koontz: wowwwww
Hendrix: hey dean you wanna hang out behind the school and put on some sunglasses
Koontz: i
Koontz: i don't think i'm supposed to do that
Hendrix: what's the matter dean? you chicken?
Koontz: no! I'm not chicken!
Hendrix: all the cool kids are doing it
Koontz: what??
Koontz: well if all the cool kids are doing it, it can't be wrong
Hendrix: the first pair is free
Koontz: [wearing sunglasses] hey guys
King: Dean Raymond Koontz!! What is THAT on your face?
Koontz: nothin'
King: are you wearing sunglasses?
Koontz:
Koontz: maybe
King: well you can take those off right now mister
Koontz: you can't make me
Koontz: you're not my dad!
King: that's RIGHT, dean
King: because my boy joe would NEVER do something this irresponsible
King: my boy joe is good as gold!
Joe Hill: dad please stop
Barker: pfft c'mon steve let him live a little
King: this might not seem like a big deal to you clive
King: but today it's sunglasses
King: tomorrow it's a leather jacket!
Koontz: neil gaiman wore a leather jacket in his author photo
King: that's different
King: he's an adult
King: leather jackets can be worn in moderation by responsible adults
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Barker: go ahead dean show mary your new look
Koontz: [wearing sunglasses]
Shelley:
Shelley: ahahahaha
Shelley: fucking hell yeah
Koontz: [wearing sunglasses] watch out everyone i'm a real no goodnik
Koontz: so you better watch out!!
Koontz: i'm one bad banana!!
Shelley: ha ha oh my god
Shelley: did you teach him to say that
Barker: no he just came up with it himself!
Shelley: ha ha that's wild
Barker: i know right??
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mmmm you know how in the franking stein novel victor dies so thee monster just kills himself. except. thee monster literally had all of vicky’s notes and shit. theoretically, he knew what the ‘’’cure’’’ to death was. wouldn’t it have been so so so sexy conceptually if after victor finally experienced the sweet escape of death, hoping it’ll bring him back to his loved ones, only for thee monster to bring him right back?
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Illustrations from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein by Bernie Wrightson (1983)
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I’m so glad the Guillermo Del Toro Pinocchio movie is being received really well, because it was literally my most anticipated movie of the year! So here’s some fun facts about the crew, concept, and production that got me excited about this movie and that I think would excite much of tumblr as well:
-the screenplay was cowritten by Del Toro and Patrick McHale, creator of Over The Garden Wall and a writer on Adventure Time.
-the movie was codirected by Mark Gustasfon, who was the animation director of Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
-the primary art/animation designers of this movie (production designer Curt Enderle, art director Robert DeSue, character designer Georgina Hayns, animation supervisor Brian Leif Hansen, and photography director Frank Passingham) previously worked on projects that include Coraline, the Corpse Bride, Paranorman, Isle of Dogs, Frankenweenie, Kubo, and Chicken Run.
-Besides Netflix, it was produced by the Henson company (always a good sign when you’re doing anything with puppets) and ShadowMachine, who have produced a lot of Adult Swim shows including Robot Chicken, Moral Orel, and Tuca and Bertie, as well as the Netflix original BoJack Horseman.
-Del Toro was inspired to make this adaptation due to the similarities he’d always noticed between the original Pinocchio story and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Both are about a man-made character’s relationship with his father/creator, and his attempts to understand what it means to be human. This inspiration is why the film takes on a gothic feel at times.
-the movie is over 10 years in the making. Del Toro announced the project in 2008 and production began in 2012, but it went into development hell and no further updates were made for several years. Del Toro has described it as his passion project, saying "I've wanted to make this movie for as long as I can remember.”
-the backdrop of Mussolini’s Italy was intended to show how Pinnochio was able to find his own humanity and will in a time where everyone else was acting like a blindly obedient puppet. Del Toro wanted to deviate from the original book’s themes of obeying authority by making his Pinocchio virtuous for questioning the rules and forging his own set of morals. (Also if you know anything about Del Toro, the guy likes to dunk on fascism.)
-Del Toro didn’t feel the need to have Pinocchio become flesh-and-blood at the end of the movie, saying all you need to be a real human is to behave like one.
I was lucky enough to see this movie in 35 mm in a movie theatre on Thanksgiving weekend. If there are any movie theatre showings near you and you’re in a position to be able to attend them, I would totally recommend it especially if you can go with loved ones. It was a gorgeous, heartwarming, and magical movie to experience on a big screen and perfect for the late fall/winter holiday season.
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