#It's always the mentally stable choice
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I might seriously do a nostalgia rewatch of the anime just because you keep posting about them , . anyway i would absolutely not mind getting little blerbs on every member of Sabertooth you've listed :3
My god!!! These fucking guys!!!!! They came so far out of left field for me and I still do not have a good read on them they really came barreling it in the last two seasons huh!! Okay!!!
This is gonna get kinda long so all of it under the cut!! Thankyou very much for asking!!!
We'll start with Minerva and man. Why'd she stop wearing make-up when she got redeemed?? Why her eyes so big??? Girl what happened you lost all your original character design huh???
I really didn't like Minvera at first, and I guess you're really not supposed to but she really didn't. Get??? Better?? She got worse and then we just kept going anyway. I really feel like we could have had more with her character arc, sense she was affected by the Regression Spell Doriate used, which we see clearly drag Grey's childhood trauma right back up in his face, I just think it'd be cool if it'd done the same to her? Give us a little hint at the abuse that caused her to be this way and the healing from that that inevitably turns her back around, you know?
Also just what??? Happened??? To her demon form??? I was unaware loosing an eye and going full incubus with several tattoos was so instantly reversible in the world of Fairy Tail. I feel like there should have been more there. But also instead of narrative plot we got a chill comedic break with her, Erza, Franmalth, and the Exceeds midway through about three episodes, and in one of those moments we get Lily commenting that she'd make an excellent wife so. I can't be too disappointed.
I don't think I have a sexuality headcanon for her, and I don't think she knows either. Romance is weakness so she never really had time to explore that part of herself growing up. In the New and Improved Sabertooth she'll have much more space to finder herself, I think.
Oh also she's recovering from a really bad eating disorder! She fell into it after her father left her in the woods, what and when and how much she ate became her only control. It took her a long time to really face and talk about it because admitting to something like that is another weakness and we all know how she is about facing those. That's why Sabertooth started having eating contests every year! Sting thinks giving her a big event to eat as much as she can at as a competition will encourage her to get more comfortable with eating. She'll never be discouraged from another meal when you win by eating, right?? Perfect idea Sting!
Sting next okay Sting's really funny to me actually and I can't pinpoint why but he's just. He really gets a laugh out of me.
He's the only Dragon Slayer who Thinks with their Head I think he's technically Wendy's age but they locked all the main characters away on an island just so he and his brother could be Natsu's age because what kind of boy dragon slayer is a child he's gotta hit people he can't hit people with a 12 year old's fist He's for some reason The master of the new Sabertooth because he killed the last guy I guess he fucking killed a man can we talk about that he killed a guy on screen was he a shitty guy yeah sure but he was still a guy with a name and a face one of the Good Guys of this anime hard murdered and I feel like that's kind of a big deal we don't Do That a lot.
I really like Sting and Lector, they feel like Happy and Natsu but on more even ground. Happy just feels like a baby sometimes even if Natsu doesn't out right treat him like one the narrative sure does, but Lector? Lector's not a baby he's Sting's best friend they grew up Together they have the energy of childhood friends who are actually The Same Age they've known each other for life they're basically brothers you feel me? It's what Wendy and Carla should have been honestly.
Sting, like Natsu, gives me a lot of Aro vibes, but at the same time I do like the idea of him being romantically with Lector they're just so close and the times they hug get me every time. I'm fine with giving character's paraphilias but I'd need one specific to Exceeds. Demiromantic Asexual I guess? That'll hold for now till I come up with something else. He's also transgender He/They probably.
He also has ADHD like Natsu but medicated.
Rouge time fuckin!!! Guy dude buddy guy!! I feel like this would another Meow meow if this fandom wasn't attached to Natsu by the hip all the time.
I don't know why but Rouge's Wiki doesn't have any pictures of him as a kid which is unfortunate considering his whole thing is every major stage in his life he grows his hair a little longer.
Baby Rouge had a buzz cut, Grand Magic Games Rouge had the It's Not a Phase Edgey anime boy hair, Tartaros Arc Rouge got the pretty boy ponytail, and Future Evil Gonna Destroy the World with Grief Rouge had a white string bean of a ponytail for some reason.
On the flip side of Sting and Lector we have Rouge and Frosch which is just. Absolutely wild. They don't feel like friends at all Rouge is a mother hen over this Cat Frog all the time. I can't tell if he's infantilizing Frosch or trying to be supportive but either way something about it feels weird and unbalanced compared to the other Exceed/Slayer relationships, especially sense Frosch is canonically 12 to Happy's 6. Another reason I really hate the 7 year time skip.
Rouge is the same Exceed Paraphillia as Sting, and is also probably a shotacon on top of that, to play with the infantilization of Frosch. I could also just see him identifying as Gay, Genderfluid He/She/They
Finally we reach!!! Yukino!!! QUEEN!!!!
I remember seeing her and getting so confused because she looked so much like Sorano but no one was calling it out which this show LOVES to do when characters are related they really gotta tell no show those kinds of bonds so I was lost on her for a while.
Truth be told I think about Sorano a lot she is my most thought about girl in the series so most of my Yukino thoughts kind of just stem off of her sister, which I feel bad about because Yukino is just. So cute.
There's something about a character who expects things to go bad because they always do and then is still hurt by it and lays all the blame on themselves. Use enough to expect it, not yet given up hope of getting better.
I also just! Love celestial wizards! I wish we'd gotten more on her dynamic with Libra because really. Compared to the other spirits Libra seems so god damn normal. The spirits are weird let Libra be WEIRD we had a whole episode where we got to see the spirits one at a time and Libra was so NORMAL let her be WEIRD!!!
Also the fact that Lucy has more than half the Zodiac makes Yukino look super under powered, and that bothers me. The way the keys work bother me.
Yukino is Pan and Transgender She/Her for sure, also full of Autism and a little OCD.
#Fairy Tail#Main tag is a dangerous game to play there me but guess what we doing it#Thankyou for asking#I have three asks and I am spacing them out because who knows when I'll get more#when you're stressing yourself into deleting your discord server and running to hide away in a cave#sometimes you just gotta put it down and ramble about anime guys (gender neutral) instead#It's always the mentally stable choice#Sipping choccy milk and thinking about Rouge and Frosch#Despite the Exceeds being part of Sabertooth I did not talk about them on their own in this post#Because it's already long and I'm already being very annoying and getting blocked by people for sure#Also while I don't have much to say on Orga I do appreciate him as Just Another Big Dumb Guy in Fairy Tail#No one himbo's quite like Fairy Tail
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My roommates might move out and I am feeling a mix of excitement bc I thrive alone (actually I rot when I am alone but still. I can be unhinged. Also sharing a 1 bedroom is hard.) but financially im like damn. loss.
#also experiencing feelings of abandonment when in reality its their choice..#i always knew this was gonna happen and im catastrophizing already#i think id legit rather be homeless than live with my parents so I gotta be smart and find a carreer im mentally stable enough to do#i work but its not sustainable. i have lots of chronic pain from my job. it is so physical. i need to take it easy#i could change departments but bc ocd i cant work with certain groups of people that well.#intrusive thoughts make me wanna kms i stg#idk i need a remote job man#txt
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all of my pain and all your excuses
part 2 of family line
ingrid arrives home, and realizes how much she's missed with her sister. her and mapi try to figure out how to put the pieces back together. r struggles with the mess inside her head.
cw: mommy issues galore 🙃 mentions of poor mental health. solstråle continues to be sad.
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It took you a few minutes of crying into Mapi before you realized what she’d probably done. At this realization, you pulled away from her in a panic, practically falling onto the ground.
“Mapi, please don’t tell Ingrid about this, please please, you can’t, she’ll be so mad, she’s already mad, I can’t,” your gasps for air cut your words off and Mapi took your face in between her hands.
“Breathe. In and out pequeña. Just breathe.” She instructed, dramatically exaggerating her own breaths.
“Please, Mapi,” you whimpered after a minute.
“I’m sorry, nena, I had to. I had to.” She said, seemingly begging you to believe her that she’d had no other choice. You couldn’t really blame her; you’d gotten yourself here, after all. You’d written the letter. You’d meant every word you’d said, and every word you didn’t quite have the guts to say. You’d collapsed into her arms. You’d given her no choice.
“I’m really scared,” you mumbled.
Mapi pulled you back in, tucking your face easily into her chest. “I know. You don’t need to be, but I know you are. Everything is going to be alright. I promise you.”
You wrapped yourself tight around the defender, hoping with everything in you that she was right.
When Ingrid burst through the front door, eyes immediately finding you on the couch, crumpled up into a little ball in Mapi’s lap, she knew it was bad. Mapi was holding you so tightly, expression unreadable when she glanced up at Ingrid, murmuring inaudible words in your ear. You looked so small, visibly trembling in your baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants, Mapi’s arms engulfing you. Ingrid practically ran to your side, sitting as carefully as she could next to the both of you.
“María, what..?” Ingrid asked, trailing off when Mapi silently held out a piece of paper to her. Ingrid took it, having no idea what she was about to read. Having no idea what she was about to feel.
You were hiding your face in Mapi’s sweater, much too distraught to care about how pathetic you probably seemed. You’d heard Ingrid enter, and you knew it was just a matter of time before you had to leave your safe little bubble and confront this. When it had been silent for too long, and you knew Ingrid must be done reading by now, you shifted away from Mapi. It was time to be brave, and it was time to take whatever was coming your way.
The look on your sister’s face made you want to take it all back. Because, fuck, you weren’t sure your happiness was worth making Ingrid this upset. She was scanning over the paper over and over, as if she was hoping the contents would change with each reread.
You acted stronger than you felt, sliding off Mapi’s lap and moving a bit closer to Ingrid. She didn’t look away from the letter.
“I’m sorry.” You said quietly.
Your sister’s head snapped up to look at you so rapidly, you almost jumped.
“Solstråle,” Ingrid began, and you felt like the last stable part of you broke sharply at the nickname. Sunbeam, it meant. Ingrid had called you that your whole life. Her sunbeam, always breaking through the clouds to shine a bit of light. She’d assumed you’d grown out of it, recently. You looked so small, though, so scared and so desperately sad, that it just slipped out. She didn’t regret it, not when you practically fell towards her. “Oh, honey.”
If you were crying with Mapi just minutes before, you were bawling now. Hysterical, hyperventilating cries that were painful to hear, and painful to let out, but somehow so cathartic. Ingrid pulled you into her, beginning to cry herself.
When Ingrid spoke, it was in Norwegian, and nothing had ever sounded so safe. “I am so sorry, my perfect baby sister, I am so so sorry. I love you. I love you, I love you. More than anything in this world, I love you.”
And though you still cried, you relaxed marginally at the comfort hearing her speak in your native language brought you. You relaxed, going completely limp against your sister. You probably would have slid off her onto the ground if she hadn’t had her arms wrapped around you so tight. Ingrid wasn’t sure she’d ever let you go. You weren’t sure you wanted her to.
-------
Ingrid stood in your doorway, eyes fixed on your sleeping form. She’d brought you up to bed, carrying you like she used to when you were little. You’d fallen asleep on her downstairs, and she hadn’t dared to move you for a while. She and Mapi sat in a rather stunned silence for a while, before Mapi suggested she bring you up to bed. So, Ingrid tucked you in, pulling the covers up to your chin the way she knew you liked them. She noticed something tucked under one of your pillows, and carefully pulled it out. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the plush polar bear in her hand. Snø. She’d given him to you when you were three, for your birthday. She thought you’d stopped sleeping with him, but apparently not. The thought that you’d pulled him out of your closet for some comfort upon arriving in Spain made tears flood Ingrid’s eyes. She carefully kissed your forehead before rushing out of the room, almost colliding with her girlfriend.
“Oof,” Mapi grunted, steadying Ingrid, when she caught sight of the other womans’ face. “Amor,”
Ingrid shook her head, wiping harshly at her eyes, and pushed past Mapi towards their bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she pulled the folded letter out of her pocket, smoothing it out, and began to read it. Again. Mapi had followed her into the room, and took the paper out of her girlfriend’s hands.
“Give it back.” Ingrid said through clenched teeth. She sounded angry, but Mapi saw the tears in her eyes and knew better.
“No, you’ve already read it.” Mapi said firmly.
“María, give it back, I need to read it again.”
“Mi amor, it's just going to hurt more, and you don’t need that right now.”
“Yes I do,” Ingrid cried. “I do, she’s been hurting like this for god knows how long. Wanting to–” She cut herself off, shaking her head almost frantically. “She said she felt like no one would care if she was gone. Reading this hurts but it is nothing compared to what she has been feeling, and it is all my fault, so let me read it so I can fix this, because I need to fix this, I can’t lose her, María, I can’t lose her.” Ingrid was sobbing by the end, making little to no sense, and Mapi placed her hands on Ingrid’s cheeks, forcing her to make eye contact. She noticed in that moment that while you looked alike normally, you looked just like Ingrid when you cried.
It wasn’t enough, though, Ingrid was crying so hard, every sob shattered a part of Mapi that she hadn’t known existed. She climbed onto the bed, pulling Ingrid with her, guiding the younger woman’s head onto her chest. Ingrid clutched at Mapi’s shirt almost desperately, muffling her sobs there too, although her body shook heavily with the force of them. Her world was falling down around her, and it was all she could do to hold onto her María, and not let go.
“I know, mi princesa, I know.” Mapi murmured, running her fingers through Ingrid’s thick hair. “You aren’t going to lose her. We aren’t going to lose her. We’ll fix it.”
“I don’t know how to fix it,” Ingrid whimpered. Mapi tilted the Norwegian’s head up, until Ingrid was looking at her once again.
“That’s okay, mi amor. You don’t need to have all the answers now. We’ll figure it out together. For now, just be her sister. Not her parent. Just be her sister, and if you don’t know what else to say, tell her you love her.”
Ingrid nodded pitifully, scooting up and cramming her face into the crook of Mapi’s neck.
“Thank you. For helping her and for texting me and for being so perfect. You’re always so perfect.” Ingrid mumbled.
“I’ll be perfect for you any day. I love you, and I love your sister. Now relax, mi princesa. Relax, breathe, calm down. We’re going to be okay.”
And like you had earlier, Ingrid hoped with everything in her that Mapi was right about this.
-------
Ingrid and Mapi fell silent the minute you walked into the kitchen the next morning. They’d been talking about you, clearly, and they looked at you nervously the minute you were in sight. You’d woken up irritated, though, as you sometimes did, feeling like your blood was boiling, as if one wrong thing would set you off. You wished you had more control than that, but you knew the minute you heard your sister’s voice, you would fly off the handle. Because this morning? You weren’t sad. You were furious.
The room was a complete contradiction to how you were feeling. Ingrid and Mapi’s home was bright with sunlight, and warm with color. They were both holding matching coffee mugs, and looking at you with matching concerned expressions, and all of it made you want to scream. Why did Ingrid get to have this perfect life, and you didn’t? Why did she get to be happy so easily, and you didn’t?
You were lost in your thoughts, taking the coffee Mapi handed you with a quiet thank you. The kitchen was uncomfortably silent.
“Hi, solstråle. How are you feeling this morning?” Ingrid piped up. You clenched your jaw. How did she think you were feeling?
“Fine.” You snapped.
Ingrid remained quiet and soothing when she spoke next, and it made you even angrier. “Honey, last night,”
“I don’t really feel like talking about it right now.” You said harshly, cutting her off. Ingrid tensed, trying to keep her reaction in check.
“I’m sorry, solstråle, but that is not an option. We need to talk about what happened, we can’t wait on that.” Ingrid insisted, voice measured.
Still it was like she’d hit you. Your head snapped up, your features contorted with rage, and you set your coffee down dangerously softly, glaring at your sister. “Oh now we have to? Now we have to talk about it? I’ve been here for 6 fucking months Ingrid. It took you months to realize something was wrong, and you didn’t even realize! I had to write it out for you. You told me last night that you love me, that you want me here, well then why didn’t you fucking show it before now! I said I don’t want to talk today and I meant that.” You yelled.
Ingrid shook her head, her hands clenching tight into fists. “Do not yell at me. I am trying to help. I understand that you’re hurt, and that you’re upset, but-”
You scoffed loudly then, interrupting her, and Ingrid got visibly more frustrated with you, her lips turning down into a disapproving frown.
“You can’t-”
“Ingrid, just take a sec.” Mapi cut in, her soft voice a sharp contrast to how you and your sister had been conversing. “Nena, we do need to talk, but it doesn’t have to be now. Let’s just all take a breath.”
Ingrid was shocked when you slowly nodded your head and took a step back from her, inhaling deeply. It was like magic; she’d never seen an argument that you were involved in get de-escalated so quickly.
“Go get your homework, okay? You’re coming with us to training.” Ingrid said after a minute. There was no room for argument in her words, and you fought against another surge of anger, fought the urge to yell.
“Is this because of what I wrote?” You asked evenly. Ingrid and Mapi exchanged glances.
“Listen, nena, we just want to keep an eye on you.” Mapi told you, realizing that you were a lot less reactive when she spoke to you than when Ingrid did.
“I know what I said. I wasn’t going to do anything, though. Really. I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t do that to you.” You defended quietly.
Mapi felt Ingrid’s hand slide into hers and grip tight. I wouldn’t do that to you, you’d said. Not I wouldn’t do that, period. Everytime she thought about what you’d written, Ingrid felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She wasn’t sure what would have happened if Mapi hadn’t gotten home when she did. She wasn’t sure how close she’d come to losing you. She was so scared.
Ingrid had never been good at letting you see how she was feeling, and maybe that was why, until this point, you’d gone out of your way to hide your own emotions from her. She decided to take Mapi’s advice from the night before. Just be her sister. Not her parent. Just be her sister, and if you don’t know what else to say, tell her you love her.
Ingrid approached you like she was worried you would lash out at her, which may have been fair. When you made no move to step away from her, she carefully stood directly in front of you, and put her hands on your shoulders.
“What you wrote really scared me. I’m not mad, solstråle, I’m just really scared. And I trust you, I do, but if I left you here alone, I would just worry, and we haven’t talked yet, and I have no idea what you’re thinking other than the things you said on that piece of paper. So it would make me feel a lot better if you came with us to training today.”
You blinked up at her for a minute, before you slowly nodded your head. “Okay. I guess that’s fair.”
Ingrid seemed equally as surprised as you did, removing her hands from your shoulders, and gesturing for you to go get your bag. Once you’d disappeared from the room, she turned back to her girlfriend, who had a ridiculous grin on her face.
“Look! You communicated! Like a real human being!” Mapi joked, opening her arms. Ingrid instantly melted into the hug, though she scowled at her girlfriend’s teasing.
“I communicate.” She said stubbornly.
“Sometimes,” Mapi allowed. “You’ve definitely gotten better. And you’ll keep getting better because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as determined as you are right now to make sure that your solstråle is okay.” Mapi whispered, kissing the side of Ingrid’s head.
“My solstråle.” Ingrid smiled. “I started calling her that when she was 3, and she had this shirt with a sun on it. I told her I liked it once, and whenever she saw me sad after that, she’d run off to put the shirt on and come show me. I called her my little solstråle. My sunbeam. She used to be so smiley, María. So happy. She’s so different now.” Very quickly, the smile faded from Ingrid’s face and she held Mapi closer to her.
“It’s all gonna be okay, mi princesa,” Mapi promised.
You cleared your throat from the doorway, then, and your sister and her girlfriend sprung apart, blushing like high schoolers caught in an awkward position. “Are you guys done making out?”
“We weren’t making out,” Ingrid groaned, as you all headed towards the door.
“No, we only make out after training,” Mapi said seriously.
You made a fake retching sound, Ingrid slapped her girlfriend in the arm, and Mapi laughed to herself, but the tension was broken. And you had smiled, a real smile. Ingrid didn’t care what she had to say to see you smile again, she’d do it.
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As was the norm when you went to training, the younger girls immediately latched onto you, yanking you away from Ingrid and pulling you into some scheme to get back at Mapi for the prank she’d pulled on them last week. It was the usual suspects; Pina,Vicky, Salma, and a couple others pulling you from the room, already giggling. They kindly didn’t say anything about the bruising and cuts on your face, and for that you were grateful, although you did get a few raised eyebrows from the older players. Ingrid watched you go anxiously, only turning her attention away from the door you’d walked out of when Mapi squeezed her hand.
“She’ll be fine.” Mapi promised. Ingrid nodded, but she didn’t stop worrying. And when Mapi went off to work in the gym herself, the Norwegian had no one to pull her out of her head.
She worried all through the gym session, paying very little attention to what she was supposed to be doing. Which wasn’t normal for Ingrid, and it caught the attention of pretty much everyone.
Ingrid was staring intently at where you were sitting against the wall in the shade, working on your homework, when Alexia and Frido approached.
“Everything okay, Engen?” Alexia asked.
“Yep.” Ingrid said distractedly.
“What did our dear solstråle do this time?” Frido joked, having known your sister long enough to know precisely why you were living with her. Alexia knew, too, and smiled, joining in on the joke. Until Ingrid’s eyes inexplicably filled with tears, and she turned away from you, wiping harshly at her face.
“Ingrid? What happened?” Frido wondered, running a hand up and down the Norwegian’s arm, while Alexia looked around anxiously, searching for anyone, anyone on earth, that would be better at dealing with whatever was going on than she would be.
“It’s a long story.” Ingrid said, her voice cracking. Frido and Alexia exchanged looks, before the captain turned to Jona across the pitch.
“Ingrid needs her ankle taped!” She shouted, before leading both women off the pitch. Jona nodded knowingly, despite the fact that Ingrid hadn’t done anything to her ankle, and it was rather odd for 2 entire people to accompany her to tape it. Jona knew that Alexia wouldn’t be asking for a minute for Ingrid if she didn’t think it was necessary.
Ingrid let them pull her into the locker room, rather desperate for some advice and some honesty. Because Mapi loved her too much to tell her how badly she’d really messed up, and both Frido and Alexia were known to be brutally honest. She needed brutal honesty right now. No matter how much it hurt.
-------
You were busy struggling through an essay you were supposed to be writing entirely in Spanish when Frido sat down next to you. One look at her face told you she knew exactly what was going on. You weren’t that surprised. She was your sister’s best friend, and you’d known her for a long time. If there was anyone that Ingrid was going to talk to, it would be Frido.
Frido always spoke to you in Norwegian, a thing you were endlessly grateful for. It instantly put you at ease, and today was no different, as she tugged playfully at your ear.
“How is my favorite Norwegian?” She asked.
“I know you already asked your second favorite Norwegian.” You replied jokingly.
“Why would I ask Caro how you are?” Frido deadpanned.
You threw your head back, laughing loudly, and Frido grinned, continuing on to tell any and every joke she could think of.
Ingrid watched from the doorway of the building, and when Mapi turned the corner and saw her watching the two of you, she knew exactly what her girlfriend was thinking.
Ingrid saw Mapi coming, though, and forced a smile onto her face. “How was the gym?” She asked.
“Fine. I was distracted though. How is she doing?” Mapi replied, nodding in your direction.
“Well. She’s joking around with Frido. So, better I assume.” Ingrid said evenly.
“She’s joking with Frido because Frido speaks her language, and she trusts her, and she didn’t just get into a screaming match with Frido. Frido didn’t read a letter containing her most upsetting feelings. She loves you, Ingrid, she just needs time.” Mapi assured her. Ingrid kissed her cheek softly, very appreciative that her girlfriend always knew what she needed.
“What if she doesn’t want to talk when we get home?” Ingrid asked, after another minute.
Mapi sounded wiser than normal when she spoke. Ingrid wasn’t used to her being the voice of reason in their relationship, but she appreciated that the defender always stepped up, and was always willing to be what Ingrid needed. “What happened last night was a big thing. She needs to process, and she needs to take her time with it. She’ll talk when she’s ready. And until then, we keep an eye on her, we give her hugs, and we tell her that we love her, vale?”
“Okay.” Ingrid agreed. It was going to be a long and difficult evening of not suffocating you with questions, it seemed. She’d do it, though, if it was what you needed. Ingrid thought that she would probably quit football or cut off one of her limbs if that was what you needed.
-------
You didn’t talk much the rest of the day, as Mapi predicted, and as Ingrid feared. Your sister did her best not to push you, and was mostly successful. Mapi kept the conversation going, able to talk about nothing for hours. She knew exactly which topics to discuss and which to avoid, and she knew how to make both you and Ingrid laugh until your stomachs hurt. Thank god for Mapi.
You were… relatively alright. Until later that evening, when you got up to head upstairs to finish some homework. You’d accidentally picked up Ingrid’s phone thinking it was yours, and saw a few texts from your mom to her. All about how much she missed Ingrid, how she was thinking of her, how she made Ingrid’s favorite for dinner that night. Nothing about you. You put it back down silently, grabbed your phone, and tried not to think about it, to no avail.
Instead of doing your homework, you sat on the floor of your room, thinking of the fact that your mom had missed your birthday, and not even noticed. Ingrid had, too, but she’d apologized over and over, and she’d promised to take you shopping over the weekend, and to dinner. Ingrid was trying. Your mother hadn’t tried in a while.
You didn’t realize you were crying until Mapi knocked on the door to say goodnight. She peaked in, frowning when she saw the fresh tears on your cheeks.
“Hey,” she said softly, carefully lowering herself to the ground next to you, minding her knee. She texted Ingrid to come upstairs, and pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, because I know that you aren’t. But Ingrid and I love you. Ingrid and I want you here. Ingrid and I are gonna fix things, and that is a promise.”
You registered the words, though you didn’t believe them. Still, you gave Mapi a watery smile and leaned into her a bit. Ingrid’s footsteps were quiet in the hall, but you recognized that she was walking faster than normal. She appeared at your door, then, giving Mapi a meaningful look, and took Mapi’s place, sliding down onto the floor next to you. You pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and holding tight. It looked as if you were trying to physically hold yourself together.
“Hey, solstråle,” Ingrid said softly. You murmured a greeting, not moving your chin from your knees, and not turning your gaze towards your sister either. It was quiet for a minute before Ingrid prompted you. “Talk to me, please.”
You sighed, a tear rolling down your cheek. “‘I just miss Mom.” You said finally.
Ingrid’s chest squeezed uncomfortably. You were so stubborn, so willful, sometimes she forgot you were just a kid. Just an 18 year old kid living in a foreign country, who missed her mom. “Do you want to call her?” She asked, not very confident in the suggestion, but not really sure what else to say.
You instantly shook your head. “No. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“Kjære, of course she does,” Ingrid began, but she wasn’t really sure. Your parents were so different, now. And whenever Ingrid called her mom, she never asked about you. She only wanted to hear about Ingrid. Your sister wasn’t stupid, she knew she was their favorite, but she didn’t expect them to write you off completely when you moved to Spain. They seemed happier, now. Without you there. It was something Ingrid couldn’t understand. Neither could you, really, but you had long accepted it.
“No she doesn’t. I stopped calling her, just to see. 2 months ago. She hasn’t called me once. She doesn’t want me, anymore, Ingrid. I know I was an accident, but if they were going to hate me for ruining their early retirement plans, I don’t know why they didn't just…”
Ingrid was speechless. At a loss for words, and so so angry. You filled the silence, though, things you’d never said out loud falling out of your mouth like you couldn’t help it.
“I miss what mom was like before, when I was younger. When you were still at home. I miss that mom. I don’t miss the one that I could call right now.”
“I don’t understand,” Ingrid said quietly, her hand resting on your head, and pulling you closer to her.
“Ingrid, I know mom is always nice to you, but,”
“No, solstråle. I don’t understand her. How she could bring someone so perfect into this world and not want to spend the rest of her life watching you grow up. I’ll never forgive her for how she’s made you feel, and I’ll never forgive myself for not noticing earlier. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it better. I promise you.”
“Thanks, Ing.” You mumbled, looking up at her for a minute before resting your head on her shoulder.
The problem was, Ingrid could tell you didn’t believe her. She could see it in your eyes; they were still so guarded and so hurt. You were still angry with her, she knew. You thought she just felt guilty, and eventually she would go back to how she was before. Ingrid didn’t know how to make you believe what she felt and what she told you. She worried so deeply that she wouldn’t be able to. That too much damage had been done, and that maybe she wouldn’t be able to fix it. Late at night, early in the morning, right in the middle of a match, she worried about that. All the time until it consumed her, and all she wanted to do was sit with you, and promise you over and over that she loved you more than anything on this planet. What if you never believed her?
-------
doesn't everyone feel so much better now!
#woso x reader#woso imagine#barcelona femeni x reader#ingrid engen x mapí leon#ingrid engen x reader#mapi leon x reader#engen!reader
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Y'know. I never really understood the INTENSE Alana Bloom hate (in regard to how she behaves with Will) until I started thinking about it a bit more (and also the help of a fanfiction lol).
Why would you kiss someone who just confided in you that he was having a mental breakdown, having just had an episode earlier that drove him to break through his chimney?
Why would you treat a forty-something year old man like a child? (See: the scene where Freddie is offering her hand to Will, he ignores her, and Alana does the little tilt stare thing that just screams 'shake her hand, Will')
Why would you tell a man who is notorious for not having many friends that you don't want to be in a room alone with him?????
I don't know. It really rubs me the wrong way. And then how she started having an affair with Hannibal? That weirds me out. A lot. Like. Will had to be out of the way and unavailable for you to go after the guy that you saw as stable and good for you?? So Will, who you always perceived as broken, was also always a viable choice???????
Do you get me? You guys get me. You guys get it. Alana in SS3 though. She's ok (but only really because of her responses to Hannibal living his best locked-up life tbh lmfao)
#Hannibal#NBC Hannibal#SZANNIBAL#Alana Bloom#Will Graham#I really don't want to dislike her but she's not making it easy lmfao#And don't you DAAAAARE come at me with 'but Will kissed Alana first!!!' yea and why didn't she pull away? It takes two to tango#Just to be clear I do not hate her. She's silly (pos) and I wish that Will manages to make Hannibal break the Promise about her#Esp since I have been enlightened about the nature of her character LMAO
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What are your thoughts regarding the “Lost Twenty” of the Jedi Order?
I think it's significant that the Jedi not only create busts to remember them, but display them in the library where anyone can walk right by them--a reminder to everyone, adults and children alike, that it's possible to leave the Jedi life and that path is perfectly valid, the Jedi won't stop you, they'll remember you fondly.
When Jocasta is talking with Obi-Wan about Dooku in the deleted scene, she literally strokes the bust of him and speaks with such a fond smile about how his politics took him on a path away from the Jedi:
Or there's a scene in Dooku: Jedi Lost (Disney supplemental canon, so take it as you will) where Yoda and another Jedi Master are walking a bunch of children through the Archives and they ask about the busts.
Yoda takes the time to point out that asking about the Lost Twenty is a good thing for the kids and speaks highly of them, that many of them went on to become leaders of some kind, some chose to teach, but most simply vanished, and the whole scene is speaking well of all of those choices.
The Jedi aren't ashamed that some Masters chose to leave, they're not afraid of teaching their children about that even, which says a lot about how they're not forcing this life on others, how they're not trying to hide that other paths are available for Jedi, they're supporting that.
And I like that it's specifically the Lost Twenty Masters over the course of their history, because it makes sense to me that there would probably have been far more Jedi who left as younglings or even Knights, when they were still figuring themselves out, because being a Jedi takes a huge commitment, that's one of the things Star Wars as a whole emphasizes, that the Force and the Jedi way is a very serious thing, it takes a lot of dedication, it's not just a whim.
And being able to touch and use something as powerful as the Force should require a huge commitment, especially because of how it works based on your thoughts and feelings, you have to be mentally stable to use it, that's literally just how it works.
But by the time you're a Master, you've had time to really consider your life, you've had time to question whether you really want this, you've had time to commit yourself truly to this path--and you can still leave! They'll still give you a bust in the library! It just doesn't happen very often because, by that point, a Master would have been asked to undergo several Trials to make sure this is what they want, to make sure this life is right for them, and given a lot of time to consider it.
So, that we know the Lost Twenty were a thing in the Jedi Order, that it was significant enough to include in the worldbuilding and specifically how it was included (in a positive way), says a lot about who the Jedi are and how they treat those who leave. I mean, look at Dooku in AOTC, Mace and Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke positively about him right up until he was revealed to be a Sith Lord, because they trust Jedi who decide this path isn't for them.
And if you go by Padawan (and possibly Tales of the Jedi), Dooku was STILL VISITING after he chose to leave:
Not only that, but he was there to talk with the Council because they still valued him:
Or in Tales of the Jedi, he was there during the events of The Phantom Menace because he asked Qui-Gon about the Sith he ran into, showing that he was still welcome:
He was also there after Qui-Gon's death, by which time he was already under Sidious' tutoring, so he would have had to have left the Jedi by the time of Qui-Gon's funeral:
Take Disney era canon as you will, of course, but even without it, the Lost Twenty speak well of the Jedi and how they treat those who decide to leave, even the ones that have spent decades committing themselves to this path.
The Jedi are open about how you can always walk away, you can always change your mind. They ask that you be serious about it, but they make sure even the younglings know that it's always an option!
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urs // Mingyu Series - Part 2
"the best at being the worst... but fuck sake I'm already yours"
DESCRIPTION: she and mingyu were in no place to be in a relationship. she was his best friend's stylist and he was... well he was kim mingyu; something stable was not something that was ideal for the two – not when their careers are both at it's peak.
PAIRING: idol!mingyu x stylist!reader
GENRE: angst
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, implied smut, stubborn protagonists, so many red flags you would think this is a football game, features the love of mingyu's life (jungkook) and all his other besties
NOTE: if you read INFRUNAMI, no you didn't. this has the same-ish vibes BUT this is the re-written version. many events, actions, and overall plot has been changed. (even if the intro/first part is very similar)
"Are you really not going to come with me?" Mingyu watched her move about her room.
He had shown up to her place unannounced – letting himself in, using the pin-code he had memorized by heart. This was one of many occasions he had put the four digits into good use; at times paying the apartment a visit even when she was not around.
It was the one location no one dared to bother him; mostly because those who were in on their arrangement knew that his presence at the place shouldn't even exist.
It was his new safe haven; a place where he can hide out when his schedules seemed to have more hours of him staying awake than it did of any shut eye.
Any time he felt a moment of pressure from the public eye or his company, he ran to the one place he that silenced the voices in his head – instantly bringing a sense of calm upon him.
Which has been rare to come these days.
Y/n didn't think he was actually being serious when he had invited her to spend the holiday with his family.
She rarely took what he said seriously, knowing that they were nothing but empty promises – being so busy and all. She knew she was last on his priority list and had always kept her expectations quite low for him.
Maybe it was her fear of disappointment.
"I don't know, dude." Y/n sighed, holding two jackets in front of her – mentally debating which would go best with her outfit. She may be spending the day alone but she still wanted to look well dressed. "I have a lot of things to prep for."
"The leather one." Mingyu nodded over to the jacket in her right hand. "Just do it after."
Setting the canvas outerwear in her left hand down, y/n slipped one arm after the other into the oversized jacket Mingyu had suggested – glancing at her reflection in her full body mirror.
He was right, leather did look best.
"I can't. Our flight leaves 5 am." She frowned. "I'll stop by when I'm done."
"Your mom will never let you hear the end of this, you know that right?"
Mingyu had only met her mother once, and it was purely by accident. While visiting last year, Y/n had taken her mom to the company building to show her around – wanting her mother to see where she spent most of her days if she wasn't hopping from one plane to another.
The three of them had managed to get on the same elevator that day; Y/n having no choice but introduce her mother to one of her so-called friends.
Which wasn't much of a lie... technically. They were friends...and a little more. But her mother didn't need to know that.
And of fucking course, Mingyu didn't take long to warm up to the older woman.
Two minutes to be exact.
All he had to do was flash his usual smile and use that tiny voice he used when he was around anyone that was older than him – her mom falling right into the trap that almost anyone had fallen into.
Including Y/n.
Mingyu completely disregarded his original plans of having lunch alone that day, choosing to sit with the two in the company's food hall – bonding with her mother about Y/n's need to always put her job over her personal interest.
In Y/n defense, her job didn't feel like a job. She thoroughly enjoyed what she did – the nearly seven figure salary was just cherry on top of the deal.
"Which is why she won't know." Y/n pointed before picking out a lip gloss from her collection. "It's not like she can check anyways."
Mingyu knew she was right, letting out a frustrated groan. "Come on, I already told my mom you were coming."
The smile on her face fell. "You're joking."
Just as Mingyu had only met her mother once, she had only met not only his mom but his whole family once. And just like Mingyu, she had managed to get along quite well with them – especially his mom.
The older woman was nothing but kind to Y/n despite crashing their rare-to-come family time during the holiday last year. The older woman couldn't help but happily dote on the girl upon learning that she was in the country all alone, all while her mother was back west.
Happy knowing that he was slowly swaying her decision, Mingyu's smile grew larger. "How about I help you do what you need to do so that we can head over together?"
Y/n pursed her lips, considering his offer. She did need some assistance with pressing a few garments and compiling her styling kit – and she did miss having a home cooked meal.
"Fine, but no funny business."
"Well," He let out a soft chuckle. "When you put it that way, now I kind of want to do some funny business."
"Work is work." Y/n reminded him.
They never took their ... business elsewhere. It was far too risky.
Especially at their company building.
・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．
She hated how she could never resist him.
Somewhere in between steaming the rack full of designer pulls she had managed to secure for her talent's upcoming schedule, and their useless banter, Mingyu had managed to get his hands on her.
It started with a simple squeeze at the hip as she tried to ignore the lust full gaze that he had been sending her since their arrival – within minutes he had her pinned against the wall, his lips hungrily attacking her neck.
No matter how much she wanted to stand her ground, keeping to her word, Y/n had given in.
Like she always does.
"What happened to no funny business?" Y/n sighed as she tilted her head to give him more access.
"No one's laughing." Mingyu mumbled against her jaw, a free hand slowly creeping up her shirt while the other hooked on to the belt loops of her jeans – pulling her closer against his body.
"You're annoying."
She could feel her whole body begin to grow hot under his touch, arching her back off the wall as he moved from her neck to her lips – his tongue plunging into her mouth.
"Hey– whoa!"
The sound of the familiar voice broke the spell he had put her under – Y/n pushing off the boy that towered over her to see their friend standing at the door with a bewildered look on his face.
"At the office? Really?" Jungkook cried.
She had completely forgotten that she had asked him to swing by for one last fitting.
Closing her eyes, Y/n let out a loud groan; in both embarrassment and frustration.
They had never been caught once. They've always been careful – which was quite easy considering they were always in the privacy of their own bedrooms.
If it would have been any body else that had walked through the doors, she would have been sure she would have been fired in an instant. Despite having a bullet proof contract that left her almost invincible to any termination.
She was a well known industry stylist after all.
"We weren't doing anything." Mingyu shrugged, walking over to the leather couch – shrugging off the incident as if it was just any regular occurrence.
All while Y/n would rather have the ground swallow her whole.
"Sure, dude." Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Do I need to come back or....?"
"No, we're good." Mingyu answered for her, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
She wanted to strangle him.
Letting out a deep breath, Y/n grabbed the outfit she had set aside off the rack – handing it over to the boy who now had a quite amused look on his face.
He always did enjoy teasing the two; more Y/n than Mingyu, since he was always able to get a reaction from her.
His best friend on the other hand, he didn't seem to care. Dismissing his attempts to poke fun at the secret very few of their circle were in on.
"Say a word, and I'll leave pins in your clothes." She gritted her teeth.
Using his free hand to metaphorically zip his lips, Jungkook turned his heel and headed for the foldable partition set up at the corner of the room.
"I ran into Hana the other day." Mingyu announced – for his friend of course.
Hana.
His ex-girlfriend.
The girl that Y/n wasn't supposed to know about.
What Mingyu didn't know was that she knew all about the girl, all thanks to his blabber mouth of a friend who had spilled all there was to know about the two's past.
During one of their many days of being overseas, Jungkook and Y/n had landed on the topic of Mingyu – a time before he was made aware of his two friend's special kind of relationship.
Hana was his first love; and from what Y/n has learned... his only.
Hana was once a trainee at the company along with the thirteen boys – a girl that Mingyu had grown up with. They have had a long history, having known each other even before he became the idol he was today – she knew him better than anyone else.
As Jungkook claimed, "She'll always hold a piece of him."
"Of course you did," Jungkook snorted from behind the bamboo divider. "I'm ninety-nine percent sure those run ins aren't coincidental."
Y/n pretended to busy herself with packing the remaining items on the rack – all while her mind ran a million miles per hour.
She was curious but she knew it was also not her place.
And definitely not the right place and time to pry.
"Looks okay?" Jungkook stepped out, his arms stretched out as he spun for the girl.
She pulled her lips into a tight smile and nodded. "Does it feel okay?"
"I think you may need to hem the pants." He shook his leg. "Can I keep these after?"
"I mean, I don't think Diesel will say no to you." She chuckled, crouching down to examine the length of the jeans – making a mental note to bring her sewing kit.
"Can I keep the jacket?" Mingyu quipped, eyeing the leather moto-style leather outerwear was sporting.
There was no doubt that this item would soon be a well desired piece by everyone once it was made available for purchase – and free clothes were free clothes.
"Sorry, I work for him. Not you." Y/n shrugged. She knew there would be no issues if they kept the garments that the brand had generously loaned the artist – much like many other brands that scrambled to place their items on the biggest boy group of not only Korea, but the world.
"I'll give it you dude, don't worry." Jungkook gave his friend a knowing look, earning an eye-roll from the girl.
Aside from Hana, the only other person that held Mingyu's heart was Jungkook. The two having an irritable bromance that gave Y/n a headache anytime they ganged up one her.
Which occurred far more often than she liked.
"Okay go change." Y/n stood from her spot, lightly pushing him towards the partition.
"You guys got plans after this? My mom made enough food for half of Korea."
"We're heading to my parents."
"We?" Jungkook coughed, sticking his head out to glance at the two.
Y/n silently sent over a look, telling him to pipe down – thankfully Mingyu didn't catch on to this.
Because he was far too busy typing away on his phone.
"What the fuck?" Jungkook mouthed to her.
"Y/n was going to spend the whole day here." Mingyu locked his phone, looking up to see his friends silently communicating. "You two good?"
"Yeah, Kook is just being annoying."
Despite having the brains, Mingyu was quite oblivious when it came to her.
There were so many telling signs, so many bells and whistles that rang for everyone – and yet, he had no clue that the girl he had roped into having a friends with benefits deal with, had feelings for him.
Who could blame her?
Not only did he look like a reincarnated Greek God, fucked like one as well; but he had all the traits any girl would dream of in a man.
He had been raised quite well.
She had fallen for his stupid smile, the one that showed all of his teeth; infecting those around him.
His stupid laugh that were practically music to her ears whenever she heard it, making her want to crack jokes continuously just so she could hear more of it.
His stupid acts of service that just came so naturally, unable to help herself from becoming putty in his hands whenever he did anything to make her day that much easier – opening bottled water, adjusting her clothes whenever they were not sitting correctly on her frame, wiping away the crumb that stuck to her chin, placing a pillow where his body once laid before slipping into the darkness of the night.
The list could go on.
To Mingyu, these actions were nothing. These were things he would do to those close to him.
But to her, the girl who had accepted the barest of bare minimum from previous lovers, it was everything.
Y/n had fallen for a man she shouldn't have. Not only because of the rules they had set, the stupid fucking rules, but also because she knew he would never give her the time of day.
She had lost count the many times he had expressed to her that relationships was not anything he dreamt of; not now and definitely not anytime soon.
His group was finally reaching the success that they had worked so tirelessly for – the endless sleepless nights, the many injuries, the tears... they were finally paying off.
A relationship wasn't something he could afford, nor did he have energy for.
"I like this. It's low maintenance." He claimed.
Low maintenance.
No daily texts or calls, no checking up; they came and go in each other's lives like the wind – passing by when they pleased.
And for a good while, she was on the same page as him. She too couldn't afford a relationship – not when she was as busy, if not more, as the seven men she worked for.
They were both on two different planets, universes even, but they shared similar worries.
Similar struggles.
But as her schedule started to slow down, with each boy slowly stepping away from the limelight to fulfill their civic duties, nights had become lonely and she began to yearn for the one thing she had been pushing off for years.
"Ready to go?" He stepped in front of her, a soft smile on his lips.
All while she was deep in her thoughts, buzzing about the room in auto-pilot, all the task she had needed done were finally complete – Mingyu taking notice of this as he stayed out of her way, choosing to converse about God-knows-what with his best friend.
Blinking her thoughts away, she mirrored his expression. "Yep."
Mingyu handed her the jacket she had slipped off once they had arrived, reaching over to pull her ponytail from under the garment as she adjusted her top.
There he goes again with doting on her...
"Stay safe, guys." Jungkook snickered as he headed for the door.
"We're going to my parents!"
"That wasn't what I meant but– hey, that too." He winked before slipping out of the room.
Y/n knew she shouldn't have agreed.
She should have made up a stupid excuse.
But just like all other times, she had given in.
Unable to resist him.
PERMANENT TAGLIST
@thegirlwhoimagined @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @vanillacheol @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim @pluviophile-xxx @daegutowns @jenoxygen @niktwazny303 @aahvii @fragmentof-indifference @leah-rose03 @haolistic @eclliipsed @joshuahongnumbers @gyuguys @yaaaridk @christinewithluv @yoonzinoooo @jaebammie @livelikejinki
(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)
#the way it's been 10 million years since i updated#anyways...... aha hello#spamwrites#spamgyu urs#mingyu scenarios#mingyu x reader#seventeen fic#mingyu x oc#seventeen imagines#mingyu fic#mingyu angst#mingyu#kim mingyu#mingyu x y/n#mingyu series
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halfway out the door; fermín lópez
summary: fighting to keep a little flame alive underwater, you couldn't lose the only stable thing in your life
warnings: ANGST!!! (no good ending) mature language, mental health issues (panic attack, anxiety, emotional distress), relationship struggles, unhealthy dinamics, brief mention of smut themes. if any of these topics makes you uncomfortable, i advise against reading this story.
word count: 3,3k
note: hiii! it's me again, this time posting for my sweet boy (who is not as sweet in this story) fermín. im planning to do something with all the 1989 vault tracks x barça players. so take it as the first from the series!! also, apologies if the angst hits hard, promise to post fluff next time (its a bit of challenge for me haha) super excited about this and would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions! – venus 🫂💐🫧 p.s.: im so proud of this one tbh
He didn’t seem to have enough time for you anymore. You didn’t want to see the subtle twist, but you knew him all too well and an imperceptible change for everyone was an imposing earthquake in your world.
It was in the hours that your messages would be waiting for a response and the way he wasn’t starved to taste your lips anymore. Once, he’d find an excuse to be with you, even if only for brief minutes. He’d dash to your apartment bearing your favorite chocolate with the pretext of keeping you fed. A smile brightening and your stomach still produced the same fluttering butterflies, as the first time he kissed you underneath the moonlight at fourteen.
Back then, everything was perfect, the chill air in your faces as you ran with sand getting between your toes, you could still feel his timid hands and tender touch on your waist as you both shared a breathtaking kiss.
Your mother's words echoed - relationships don't last forever. You'd always dismissed her musings, attributing them to the bitterness stemming from your father's departure. But now, that thought held a glimmer of truth.
He was your soulmate, your solid backbone, he would hold the candles for you even if his arm grew weary, drawing strength from unimaginable places. Unseen pictures would fill his phone, capturing your candid moments, proudly setting you as his lock screen. One cherished memory stood out: a photo of you, pajama-clad, returning from a late-night ice cream run, a victorious smile on your face. You had lost a bet that day, darting to the store at 1 AM, just a street away from your building.
However, now everything appeared to be falling apart; the last picture in his gallery folder, titled 'I love, mine, mine, mine,' dated back to July, and it was already November. It contrasted the warmth of July with the chilling absence of recent affection.
Yearning for something to blame, tears seemed futile as memories replayed relentlessly, etched deep within your heart. Each sob felt like a painful reminder of the emptiness in the cold, desolate bed without him by your side. Staring at it blankly, your mind echoed the silent void, your chest tightening with every expelled breath.
Sleeping alone always felt unbearable. You reached for your phone, gazing at the lock screen displaying a snapshot of both of you in a summer pool. His outings with friends never bothered you; you accepted that he was now part of Barcelona's first team, and you weren't his priority. However, deep down, a simple goodnight message like "Sweet dreams, Pip, I love you" was all you silently longed for. Was it too much to ask from someone who claimed to love you?
The absence weighed heavily as you saw the clock strike 4 AM. This hour always induced a sense of dread, a time too late to sleep, opening the gates to wandering thoughts about life's choices. Moving to Barcelona for him might have been a hasty decision.
In Sevilla, there wasn't much to lose. Your little town overwhelmed you, especially under the weight of your living nightmare, your mother and her pursuit of perfection. That was until she married your toddler brother’s father, her focus shifted almost forgetting about your existence.
He was your escape from that suffocating environment. Initially, it felt liberating, but gradually, it became confining again. The cage expanded as you became his pillar while his name was in everyone’s mouth, especially girls who found him attractive. The weight of being his support, witnessing the attention he received, caused an internal storm. But he wouldn’t change you, right? Yet, the conflict brewed within, the tug-of-war between being the support he needed and holding onto your own identity.
You grew tired of waiting for him, tossing and turning in bed for ten minutes, before finally succumbing to sleep, cocooned in blankets to ward off the cold.
Abruptly opening your eyes, hours later, your body spasmed and your heart raced, reflecting the recent struggles with sleep these days. Observing to your side, relief washed over you; he lay there peacefully, an arm draped over your waist.
Tears welled in your eyes, a sense of loss filling your chest. Deeply in love, you realized your first waking thought was about him, albeit taking a negative turn.
What if I lose him? What if I lost the lighthouse in the middle of the sea? The uncertainty of the waters and the potential fall weighed heavily.
You wanted to get back to those times when you smiled as you landed your eyes, his body next to you, where blonde strands of messy hair framed his face and you delicately organized them while you talked and kissed every morning, staying in bed like an old married couple, feeling each other's warmth, laughter used to fill the air as he playfully booped your nose.
The weight of invisible hands squeezed your chest, making each breath a desperate gasp for air.
You didn't want to feel this anxiety; your breath became erratic. Rushing to the terrace, you breathed as if your mind forewarned a trailer of what has to be.
Struggling to regain control, your hands tightened on the cold railing, a reminder of the grounding reality you struggled to grasp.
Peering down, the height induced paralysis, intensifying your vertigo. "y/n, estás bien?" (are you okay?) His concerned voice, muffled and distant, struggled to penetrate the thick fog of panic, fear rooted you in place, afraid the floor would fall through if you made a step.
"Amor, háblame." (darling, talk to me) He approached, unsure. This panic attack was the first in years. His hand on your shoulder offered reassurance like an anchor, and you emerged from the state, meeting his gaze with your tear-stained eyes; he was still your gentleman. He was still yours.
And you needed to repeat it to stave off madness.
"Abrázame," (hug me) you whispered in a fragile plea. His arms enveloped you, he was the refuge that you needed; his familiar scent eased your breathing.
His head on yours, he sought to share his heartbeat, attempting to quell the sudden anxiety and the questions that haunted your mind. His furrowed brows hinted at his confusion, but conversation could wait. For now, it was about you. The one who never failed him; he couldn't fail you now.
When your body distended completely, he gently guided you back to bed. You clung to him, as if he could run away at any moment.
You walked to your side of the bed and he tucked you in like no one ever did before, leaving a sweet kiss on your forehead, an attempt to dissipate the negativity.
“What time is it?” you inquired, looking up at him.
“Six a.m., sleep. ok?” He stroked your head, and your eyes closed under the weight of fatigue. “I love you so much.”
Days passed after the incident. He chose not to ask more about the reason behind your anxiety, he decided to act as if everything was fine.
This didn't imply he lacked concern for you, but it certainly felt that way. His demeanor towards you was still unchanged.
Feelings unaddressed hung in the air, manifesting in the cold kisses and the superficial small talk that never deepened. But, in front of everyone, you maintained the façade, accepting compliments from everyone about your seemingly perfect relationship. Only if they knew the underlying truth…
Yet, you personally sensed his gradual withdrawal, a palpable feeling of him slipping through your fingers. The strain became evident as you found yourself having to repeat things that were important to you at least three times, only for him to continually forget. Or the lackluster pecks he gave you, making you feel pathetic.
Although feeling unwanted, you weren't a resentful person, so you would religiously sit in the stands at every game and witness how he gained fan's hearts with outstanding performances on the pitch, earning the title of man of one of the champions league matches and you loved how the stadium echoed his name as he made an incredible goal.
You found joy in his happiness, doing his thing with the team of his dreams. In that moment, your mind transported into a different time – those moments when you stood by his side, offering comfort during his moments of self-doubt, back when he believed his dreams would forever be just that – dreams.
His satisfaction meant the world to you. Meeting him as he emerged from the dressing room, already showered, you couldn't help but admire how his wet hair framed his face.
A big smile adorned his face as he approached you. Opening your arms, your bodies collided as he effortlessly lifted you spinning around, creating a whirlwind of laughter that filled the air.
Once he gently set you down, you couldn't contain your pride. Cupping his cheeks, you locked eyes with him. The sense of accomplishment and joy was overwhelming. Your lips met his in a deep, meaningful kiss – one that hadn't been shared in weeks, but in that moment, it felt like the perfect reunion.
You believed this moment marked a fresh start, a much-needed rejuvenation to propel you forward. That optimistic outlook, however, disintegrated after he bid you farewell at your apartment, scrolling through TikTok on your couch, a video of his post-match interview caught your eye, and an involuntary smile crept onto your face.
His voice echoed through the video, captivating in its beauty. The interviewer's final question lingered in the air, "Who are you going to celebrate this with?" Anticipating a mention of teammates, family, and you, you were bewildered as the final words left his mouth – your name conspicuously absent.
And in that instant, the realization struck: he hadn't kept his promise to do a heart gesture to include you in his celebration either. But you decided to let it slide; perhaps it was the adrenaline coursing through his veins that caused him to forget, and you were willing to overlook it.
You turned on the TV to avoid your thoughts. He no longer watched movies with you, and lately, the time you spent together felt like his phone held more allure than anything you did to catch his attention.
Without even mentioning that he wasn't fucking you lately, offering excuses of exhaustion from training or unexpectedly halting any progress when things got heated and leaving your folds wet.
But still, your mouth stayed shut, justifying every action. What you didn't know is that only one drop was missing in the glass before it overflowed – the last straw.
And eventually, the bomb exploded in the least suitable scenario. You stood by his side, his arm around your waist, desperately wanting to take his hand out and shout your feelings in front of everyone.
You didn't want to be there; you longed to be at home with your fluffy cat, who offered more comfort than Fermín did in these past months.
He was so smooth about it, engrossed in the conversation with his friends, seemingly oblivious to your distress. You whispered in his ear that you needed to get home, you weren’t feeling at your best, the strobe lights blinding you, the music pulsating louder than your heartbeat. It felt like water was reaching your nose, and you feared you'd stop breathing any moment.
Yet, you stayed, like a naive girl striving to make everything perfect for her lovely gentleman. But was still that gentleman who put you above all else?
The voices and laughter from his friends overwhelmed you. While you genuinely liked them and had never encountered an issue before, this night seemed a challenge you couldn't survive.
Your gaze darted around, hoping for a savior amid the sea of faces. But there was no one.
The air seemed to get thinner, and your chest constricted, as if locked in a slowly tight embrace. The blue dress discomforting your skin, felt like an additional layer of confinement, fantasizing to shed not only the fabric but also the skin beneath.
It was as if transparent walls were materializing around you, and this was the moment to escape a place to which you didn't belong, feeling like a misplaced puzzle piece, you watched him again with pleading eyes, silently urging him to notice you.
“Fer, really, I need to go home.” You whispered, careful not to let his friends overhear. He scanned your gestures, it took him a few seconds to realize that something about you was off. You wish he had seen it earlier.
Everything he did was later than you needed it, when he did the things, you have already fixed yourself into the uncomfortable.
“Okay, let's go.” He nodded and he finally took out his hand off your waist, allowing a momentary exhale. Greetings were exchanged with his friends and you reciprocated, not wanting to show an impolite image.
Almost running, your feet propelled you outside of the disco, pushing people out of your way, without waiting for Fermín.
The doors swung shut behind you, plunging the abrupt silence upon your ears. Relief washed over you.
Closing your eyes, you took deep breaths. You needed to hold yourself like the grown woman you were and not cry. As the doors swung open and closed again, you turned to find Fermín, a frown etched across his face.
“Why didn't you wait for me?” his voice held a trace of anger, making you shiver. Realizing the street wasn't the place for such a conversation, you began walking towards the car, your feet aching from the high heels worn that night.
He hurried to catch up, the tension palpable. When the car alarm reached your ears, signaling it was unlocked, you opened the door and entered as quickly as you could.
Sitting there, attempting to adjust to sudden silence, you sensed his presence beside you.
Leaning back into the headrest, you brought your hands on your face.
He started talking again. “What's going on you?” you hesitated to face him, reluctant to confront those expressive brown eyes you memorized like the back of your hand.
As he insisted again to hear a response, anger got to your head. Without warning, you exploded, all the carefully restrained words meant to preserve your relationship pouring into a torrent.
“I'm just so damn exhausted! I feel like I'm invisible. I ache to be seen, to matter in your eyes again. I’ve been here, baring my soul, and it feels like you're a million miles away.” Your scream echoed, tears smudging your makeup. You saw the weight of his actions settling on him as his eyes reflected comprehension. A sob escaped your lips, he stood frozen. “I'm just asking you to hear me, to truly see me, and realize that I'm shattering inside because I've already fought too much alone for the person who I thought I would marry.”
He shook his head, a boy who had always the right words now seemed that they left their mind, leaving him defenseless. A hesitant pause filled the car.
Lips parted, but the sentences seemed to dissipate before finding form. It was as if they were navigating a maze of thoughts, searching for the right words to offer comfort or understanding, yet coming up empty-handed.
You got tired of waiting, you've been doing it for such a long time, you almost felt old. But if he just opened his mouth, you knew you would forgive him. “Let's go home.” You whispered, disappointed about a man who you were calling the love of your life.
He gripped the steering wheel and hit the road. Memories flooded back of the anecdotes shared in that white car, now slipping through your fingers like ash.
You pondered the absence of rain, almost expecting the heavens to open up. Wasn't it obligatory for the sky to weep when something magical began succumbing to rationalism?
When you arrived at the house, he finally was able to speak. “I'm so sorry for everything that I caused you.” He didn't know if physical contact would be well received from you. So he gripped even more the steering wheel, needing to make something with his hands, getting out the tension.
“What happened to us, Fer?” your heart-wrenching question hitting him. You were already talking in past tense.
There wasn't an exit for this situation, and he knew that. He wished he could build a time travel machine and make everything alright, fix the first mistake that led to this big snow ball that was making an avalanche. “I-I don't know.”
“I think I'm coming back to Sevilla.” you confessed, stepping out of the car. Your headache due to the tears that you've been letting out and your eyes were puffy.
As you stood outside the car, the quiet suburban street provided a bleak contrast to the storm raging within your emotions.
Fermín, still gripping the steering wheel, searched for words that could somehow mend the gashes that had formed between you two. The realization of the inevitable distance settled on him like a heavy cloak.
“I never meant for it to come to this,” he finally uttered, voice heavy with remorse. “I let things slip away, and I can't forgive myself for that.”
You, caught between the pain and the need for resolution, gazed at him with a mixture of sorrow and longing. The familiar surroundings of the neighborhood seemed to transform into a backdrop for the end of something significant. You already knew you were never coming back here.
In the distance, a streetlamp flickered, casting intermittent shadows on the pavement. You took a deep breath, the chill in the air stinging your lungs, and said, “Sometimes, we have to go back to move forward.”
His eyes, filled with regret, met yours. “Is there anything I can do to make things right?”
But the answer remained unsaid, it wouldn't be fair to give him instructions and keep rowing and carrying him while he was just there. Wounds were already too deep and your energy was drained.
You turned away, the distance between Sevilla and this quiet street growing smaller in comparison to the emotional gap that now separated you two.
The door creaked shut, marking the end of a chapter that perhaps, in the unfathomable depths of your heart you didn't want to admit that you anticipated it.
In the solitude of your apartment, surrounded by echoes of shared laughter and the ghost of a love that once flourished, you confronted the daunting task of rebuilding your world. The faint glow from the streetlamp outside cast a melancholic light on the remnants of what was.
Fermín, still parked, felt the shared years withering in the blink of an eye, something you had been discerning for a torturing amount of time. The engine hummed softly, an averse companion to the lingering regret in the air. As he drove away, the distance between your hearts seemed insurmountable.
You watched as Blaugrana, your Calico fluffy cat, approached you unawarely of everything surrounding her, you sat on the wooden floor with her purring next to you. The sparkle of her collar made you remember how your life was bound to be lived with Fermín forever, in that collar your initials were carved. You didn't want to fall back to this cruel reality.
You even commanded yourself to religion to save your relationship, months before. Night after night, you poured the essence of your yearning into prayers addressed to Aphrodite, beseeching her to weave the threads of love and passion back into your relationship, to restore its former glory. Each whispered plea carried the weight of your sincere desire, a desperate hope that the goddess of love might heed your call and guide your connection to the blissful days of yore.
But even that didn't work. And you realized the hug of what you thought would be a fresh start unraveled into the deceptive clarity of terminal lucidity. Now you would hear the eternal melancholic tone of the complete loss of vital signs. Forever.
#fermin lopez x reader#fermin lopez#fermin lopez angst#football angst#football x reader#gavi x reader#pedri x reader#fermin lopez imagine#fermin lopez x you#football imagine
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𝓨𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓻 𝓝𝓸
pile 1 -- > pile 2 -- > pile 3
pile 4 -- > pile 5 -- > pile 6
my masterlist<3 . paid readings
Hello my beautiful souls ✨ I am here with a really super quick and short pac for y'all. Let me know if you want more short readings like these. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath, and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. My readings are meant for everyone, no matter what sexuality or identity you are. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. The artist is dayrisfelix in ig.
Pile 1
Card: Four of Pentacles
Yes, but careful. Don't let fear and worry control your judgement. You are working towards something stable and if not careful can end up in a bad situation. This pile might be the closest to a maybe but for most of you it is a yes.
Advice Cards:
Put your tasks and goals in order
Yes you can . . . Set it in motion!
The key is in the application. Practice!
Channeled Song:
Pile 2
Card: Knight of Cups
Yes, your situation is looking optimistic and should go well! Just remember that you can't be in your head about it and work needs to be done.
Advice Cards:
It's time to realize the blueprint of your soul
Release all attachments that do not serve you
Physically and/or mentally, shape up
Channeled Song:
Pile 3
Cards: Seven of Cups
Yes, just remember to make your choices wisely and opportunities will come your way! Take things slowly and try not to make any rash decisions.
Advice Cards:
It's time to realize the blueprint of your soul
Practice the pause
Remain faithful to your ideal and find trust within yourself
Channeled Song:
Pile 4
Card: The Hermit
No, right now you need to take time to yourself and plan out your next moves. You need to be patient and do some reflecting on which path is the best to take.
Advice Cards:
Issues of balance are at hand
You may need to take a break from the situation or simple take rest
A rite of passage allows you to move forward into new realms
Channeled Song:
Pile 5
Card: Seven of Wands
Yes, stand your ground and stay confident in your decisions. Express what you want and it will naturally come to you.
Advice Cards:
Give yourself your own approval
Act on what you know
Spend some time in stillness to reflect
Channeled Song:
Pile 6
Card: Five of Swords
No, there is inner conflict that you need to work on before you can move forward. You may also be letting your fears control your decision making and it is hurting you.
Advice Cards:
The Universe supports your stance and decision
Have a closer look at your family situation
Control is an illusion. Surrender and allow the Universe to guide you.
Channeled Song:
Thank you for tuning in ₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.
#tarot#tarot reading#pac tarot#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a card reading#tarot reader#spotify#pick a photo#yes or no#yes or no tarot#free tarot reading#free tarot#tarot witch#pick a pile reading#pick a card#pick a picture#general tarot reading
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Ah, sorry! I meant after they get married and maybe are starting a family, which omegas would become stay at home parents vs working parents
-sauce anon
Okay, I got it! Here are my thoughts~ I've just done parents, because I don't think many of them would retire after a marriage. I think the only ones who might retire after marriage might be Kankuro and maybe Sai. Itachi would too, if he was allowed, but eh, the clan probably don't agree to it until he's pregnant.
Working parentings (workload that takes them away from family time more often):
Naruto - Becoming hokage was his dream, and he feels a great responsibility for his village that he could never let go off. It's a massive part of his life, and he couldn't give it up, no matter what.
Sasuke - He does not have the mental fortitude to be a stay-at-home parent. He quite simply couldn't cope feeling cooped up and trapped by his child. Sasuke is a better parent when he has some time alone, and some time to travel a bit.
Shikamaru - I've put him here and in the category below, because I think it does fluctuate. He has a massive workload, and it's something he feels he doesn't have a choice in taking. He's the sort of person who never feels like he's done enough, and yet is always working too much. It's not his identity though. He works because he feels he has to.
Gaara - Again, another kage here, with the massive workload that comes with that. To his credit, I think Gaara manages to find the best balance out of the men in this category, but he still works a lot. I think, like Naruto, he feels the responsibility and care to his village, and he could never abandon them.
Working parents (workload that keeps them around more often):
Shino - He's a teacher at the academy, so while he is a working parent, he is around a lot, as he goes to school with the pups, and then also walks home with them. That being said, he would probably take leave when his pups were babies/toddlers and stay at home full time, unless his alpha was staying at home with them. Aburame culture dictates that one parent should stay at home if there are pups, and the clan helps support that financially.
Shikamaru (again) - However, continuing on Shikamaru, if his alpha ever made a breakthrough on getting him to make his own decisions, or it got to the point where Shikamaru had to step back from being the Hokage's aid to run the clan, he's around a bit more. I think this balance would be the one that made him happiest, but he needs a push to get there.
Iruka - He's similar to Shino, although depending on his age, he might be the head of the academy. He stops taking extra shifts or missions once he has children and focuses on teaching. He could never leave his students. I think he would get bored just staying at home, so working suits him better.
Flexible parents (those that might not work, but might as well, depends on the circumstances):
Chouji - I think he would want to be around when his pups were very young for sure, but after that, I think it depends. He would eventually be taking over the clan, but that might be when his children are older anyway. He might run missions on occasion, if he's well suited. If his children needed him more for whatever reason, he wouldn't though. It's very situational.
Kisame - I think he wouldn't mind staying home with small children, but once they hit school age, he would get too bored without things to do. I'm not sure what work he would be doing in a world where he was stable enough to have children, but he'd find something, maybe collecting bounties.
Yamato - He wants his children to know that he is always there for them no matter what, so I think he'd feel guilty working. But once they were in school, he'd probably find a job that fit around school hours. Even if it was just helping around the village with the mokuton. I think he'd like to do that.
Stay-at-home parents:
Kiba - He's got far too many to dump on someone else XD No, Kiba is happiest with his family. Work schmerk. There is literally no way he could be bored. With how many he has, he often has a child small enough to require attention all day.
Neji - He is determined to go back to work after having a baby. Absolutely, 100% sure. But every time it gets to the point where he should be returning to taking missions, he makes up some arbitrary reason why he can't. "They've been anxious about nursery, I think I should stay at home until they settle", "They need to finish their medicine for the infection, I'll stay home to make sure they take it", "They said they don't enjoy school... maybe I should homeschool?" He ends up staying home until they leave the house, and by then his priorities have changed.
Itachi - All he wants to do is stay at home. He would have retired after marriage if his clan wouldn't have thrown a fit over it. Once he quits taking missions, he's never going back. He's a bit lost after his children leave home, and he mourns not having as many as he would have liked. Until he's provided with grandchildren or chickens to look after lol.
(I was really, really torn on Minato and how I wanted to characterise him, so I left him off. If it was canon Minato, it would be the top one for sure, but I don't know if that's how I want to go with him, idk.)
#omegaverse#a/b/o#headcanons#alpha!reader#naruto#sasuke#itachi#neji#shino#iruka#gaara#shikamaru#kiba#yamato#kisame#chouji
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The Incest End is Not The Bad End, Part 3: The Only End I Know For Real
Alt title: We're roleplaying the endings, not choosing them.
I've focused a lot before on how sickly sweet the chemistry between Ashley and Andrew is and how unproblematic their relationship would actually be under different circumstances, mostly societal ones. I mostly did so to counter the idea that the incest end was primarily a bad end and bring up the assertion that it was the one with the most hope. In doing so, I basically interpreted all of the text within the game in a very positive light, giving off the impression that I think it'll be all sunshine and roses. The reality couldn't be further from the truth? While I think it's the end with the most hope, I ALSO think it'll be incredibly difficult for everyone involved.
As a matter of fact, I think the Questionable end will be the most difficult one to navigate through for Ashley herself.
"But wait," you say, alarm bells ringing in your head, "doesn't she literally fucking die in the Decay ending?"
And I don't think it's that obvious.
First off, why do I think the Questionable end will be difficult to navigate through? After all, Andrew is calm, collected, and Ashley is just a little bit nervous about how he's changing. She also has that ultimate leverage over him, knowing that he's sexually attracted to her and she can use it to keep him by her side. There's little for anyone to worry about, right? Well, no. Not really. As another analyst has pointed out, in the Questionable ending, Ashley has no OTHER leverage over Andrew.
The trinket? Shown to be only situationally useful to them. The future visions don't always show danger, sometimes the demon can just troll them.
Sleep? No, he no longer needs Ashley for that.
A scapegoat? Not even that. In the Burial ending, he starts to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no need to pin the blame on Ashley.
Outside of sex, Ashley is more or less useless to him now, at least in her own mind. Truthfully, Ashley is still the most important person in the world to Andrew and doesn't seem to need a reason to keep her around anymore, but Ashley doesn't realize that; it's part of why she's so confused and uncertain. Their dynamic is changing, and she doesn't like it. But in the Questionable ending, all Andrew has to do is not have sex with Ashley (easier said than done if the fanbase [myself] is any indication) and she'll have nothing left. She'll likely have no other choice but to look inward at this point, especially if Andrew doesn't give off any of the usual red flags that make her think he'd leave her.
There's a good chance at this point that their dynamic will flip entirely. Ashley will be the one who needs comfort, and Andrew shows every indication of being emotionally stable enough to provide it. We'll see some Real Mental Illness instead of Possible To Infer But Maybe Problematic To Do So Mental Illness. Whether or not she changes for the better or worse will likely determine the ending we'll get.
…
Except probably not.
Sane vs Questionable can't be THAT different, or we'd be getting 3A, 3B, 3C, and 3D instead of 3A and 3B. And, y'know what? Now I'm gonna start reaching really hard into theory territory rather than just analysis. So, hear me out here.
Both dreams are canon no matter the ending. The only difference is whether or not Andrew sleeps or not; if he does, the vision he gets is for HIM, and Ashley only incidentally sees it. It's much more important to him than to Ashley, because Ashley doesn't get a clear vision like she did in the motel. If them fucking was actually relevant to Ashley, she likely would've seen it no matter the ending. Her reactions reflect this; at first, she appears weirded out, maybe uncomfortable. Then she finds it hilarious. She considers it as a means of manipulation, sure, but the writing is on the wall: She won't NEED to do so no matter what.
Unfortunately, due to her not being able to open both doors, she won't be able to realize this. Oops!
At this point in time it's basically impossible to ascertain what her own personal vision means. I've given my interpretation before, but I ultimately have my doubts that the specific sequence of events is all to relevant. Most weird dream metaphors are clear parallels to past events, but the dream seems to be a metaphor for what the future will hold. The most relevant part is not the ghosts, but instead how Ashley reacts to what is clearly Andrew's soul. She jokes about trapping it in the bottle, but it being as a joke more than anything is a far cry from how desperate her attempts to keep him normally seem. So what gives? What does this mean?
I think, funnily enough, the Decay ending holds the answer.
My most-distanced-from-a-literal-or-metaphorical-reading-of-the-text-but-is-relatively-easy-to-accept theory is that the choices we are given in the game aren't asking us what we want to see from them, but rather, how we see the characters and their relationship. People are distracted by the idea of choice, but the reality is that we're being asked to roleplay (this is an RPG after all) as the siblings and do what we expect them to do. This isn't about choice. This is about BEING them and DOING WHAT WE THINK THEY'D DO.
Here's what I mean.
If we interpret Ashley as having trust in Andrew and his judgment, then it makes perfect sense she'd trust him with her parents. She might be a little worried, but it's pretty clear that her overwhelming desire to keep Andrew by her side is underscored by genuine love and trust. From there, if we interpret Andrew as having genuine love for his sister and a desire to take care of her, then it becomes everyone else's problem that they can't be together; not his. In killing their parents, he comes to terms with this and self-actualizes. He's willing to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no discomfort with dismembering them.
But if you interpret Andrew as viewing Ashley as a burden and a problem, he can't bring himself to save their parents and have a better life because he views himself as too far gone. He hates himself as much as Ashley hates herself for being unable to break free from her influence. He still feels like she's his responsibility, but the love that exists there is greatly muted and overshadowed by his sense of responsibility and a carnal, physical desire for her. Knowing this is likely part of the reason he hates himself; part of the reason he can't let go.
He, crucially, also squanders Ashley's genuine display of trust. It's HIS fault that things break apart, which is why the skull appears over his head when you accept the mom's offer. Ashley genuinely, seriously loves Andrew and wants what's best for him. She's posessive, but her care is a lot less selfish than Andrew thinks, and he can't see that because he's too blinded by his hatred and (partially sexual) frustration to see who she really is.
On the other side of things, if you view Ashley as being a primarily toxic influence that views Andrew as more of an object than anything, she doesn't trust Andrew to deal with their parents and it's HER fault that things break apart, as the skull appears over her head. She sees him as an object, as a child or toy. She sees him as Andy, not Andrew, and can't process the fact that he can change. It's very overbearingly maternalistic, and I believe this specific choice is the only one where Ashley is actually more like their mother than Andrew, eye colors be damned.
In Burial, she wants to share the vision with Andrew, and he wants to share it with her, because their feelings are genuine and mutual and they want to share the experience (because they might get two visions from it, sure, but the principle isn't that much different)
But in Decay, she keeps it to herself. She doesn't trust him or his input, either because she doesn't view his feelings as important or because he either almost squandered her trust (if she was listening in), or because he was generally hostile and disincentivized her from wanting to share.
There are other examples too, like when we're allowed to control Andrew to kill the hitman. If we view him as unprepared or unwilling to kill, we empty the whole clip because he's nervous and doesn't want to do this. If we view him as prepared, calm, and in control, he kills in one clean shot without much of an issue. Washing the [REDACTED] out of the shower drain? We basically get to see if Ashley is actually all that competent at housework or not, and if we don't know the right order, neither does she.
This comes to a head in both of the endings.
In the Questionable ending, we're shown that Andrew slept through the dream. We see what he really wants and the depths of his true feelings. He has very obvious romantic feelings for Ashley, and it's not just physical desire. Ashley's very obviously obsessed with Andrew still, but the fact that he can be present in every painting shows that she ACTUALLY views him that way. She's not just seeking validation; her feelings are real, and she knows it.
Remember, this dream is SHARED. We are seeing how BOTH of them feel.
In the Sane ending, Andrew isn't present, and Ashley is never given a chance to view their relationship as anything other than platonic. We don't know how Andrew feels, and we're arguably never given a view into Ashley's true feelings either, because that would-be revelation is cut off by a vision (indicated by eyes). We're just shown what she should do, needs to do, or will do.
Because we don't view their relationship as romantic, light is never shone on the reality of their dynamic. We never see how obsessed Ashley really is (if anything, we're being misdirected by being shown the opposite), and we never see that Andrew has romantic- if buried- feelings for Ashley that can't just be passed off as carnal physical desire. But since it's still the Burial ending, the dynamic still clearly exists; the endings would be too different otherwise. We CHOSE how we see their dynamic in the basement scene.
In other words…
Without love, the truth cannot be seen.
Reader who is in the know: "…hey wait a fuckin' minute"
Me: "MOVING ON"
At some point- probably early on- the Sane and Questionable endings have to converge. Andrew and Ashley will have to have the nature of their dynamic laid out for them in a way they can't deny, and the likely only difference between Sane and Questionable will be whether or not Andrew is surprised/embarrassed, or just goes "I guess that dickhead demon wasn't just tricking us after all" and then the route will proceed as normal. Whether or not they have sex will likely be determined by your choices in Chapter 3 itself rather than Chapter 2 with this in mind. Either way, I think Ashley will go through most of the chapter confused and uncertain and will be forced to develop as a person, for better or worse.
In the Decay ending, as said, we're shown that Ashley doesn't even attempt to share a vision with Andrew, so we get to see a vision where Ashley's frame of mind isn't one driven by mutual affection. In this route, we see Ashley constantly running from -something,- and given dreams are metaphors, I think it's reasonable to assume that it's showing us that Ashley is primarily motivated by a fear of Andrew. Fear of what, exactly, isn't really clear; we know for a fact that she's afraid of losing him, but she's also afraid of the violence he can inflict upon her. Either way, she runs away, we can see the demon say "hmmm how interesting," and then we get a vision of the future.
But it's important to note, that vision is a metaphor, not a literal vision of the future. It takes place in the dream world- unlike any other vision, which takes place in the real world- and there are no out-of-frame eyes in the CGs like there are in the Questionable route. Also, (albeit less convincingly), all the eyes are in the background rather than on the map themselves, like they are when we see the hitman vision. The eyes only exist in the background in the Sane vision too, further adding to the idea that they're a metaphor.
So. If it's not a literal depiction of what will happen, then what exactly is it a metaphor for?
Okay.
Hear me out.
This is my wildest fucking theory yet.
It's a metaphor for the Burial route. Or rather, the kind of event that happened in the Burial route.
What we are being shown in the metaphor is a reconciliation of their relationship, where their true feelings are laid bare. We are put in a situation where they are forced to decide how they feel for each other once and for all. If Andrew holds all the power in the relationship but has no control or awareness of his feelings- represented by whether he was composed enough or not to unload his entire clip-, he unceremoniously kills Ashley. Without that awareness, Ashley cannot even defend herself. She has no control because she isn't dealing with someone who has any either.
(Whether he actually kills Ashley or just some abstract representation of Leyley isn't clear, but it doesn't matter much for the purpose of analysis.)
But if Andrew does have that awareness of his feelings- represented by only shooting one bullet- they can negotiate. Because Andrew is in control, Ashley is also in control, and she can make one of two choices:
She can choose to save herself (and either maintain the status quo or just fucking kill Andrew depending on how literal the vision is). With this choice, she lets her fear overtake her and discards Andrew- the cause of her fear- like trash. He is an object that only exists for her sake, after all, and she can discard him just as easily as he seemed like her could discard her during the strangulation scene.
She can choose to trust and accept Andrew. And given a heart appears over her head, she can choose to love him, and overcome her fear, even at the cost of either her life or their prior dynamic (once more, depending on how literal it is).
Decay is asking us if we think Ashley is primarily motivated by selfish fear or genuine selfless love. But both exist either way, and their relationship must be understood and reconciled at some point; this route might honestly be their only hope for a platonic good ending, but it's going to be dismal and painful either way.
So with that in mind, why is the gun not relevant to the Burial route (yet) if it's such a strong metaphor?
Because the reconciling event WAS the basement scene.
We had to make that same choice there. Was Ashley too afraid of Andrew's interaction with her parents to let him handle it? Or did she love and trust him enough to make that choice? In choosing yes, the ball in Andrew's court. If he chooses to care for her needs, their relationship evolves. If he or Ashley refuse make that choice, that can is kicked down the road, and their relationship continues to deteriorate.
Or decay, as it may.
But in Burial, with that reconciling event having happened, the ball is in Ashley's court. With Andrew having come to terms with many of his feelings (minus his sexual desire), most of his arc is finished. There's probably still a lot of him to unpack on the Burial route, but in the Decay ending, as long as Ashley shows love for him, the final choice always falls on his shoulders. And with his final choice having been made in Burial, all that's left is Ashley's.
And what final choice will she have to make?
I don't know, I'm not a prophet.
But either way, she'll still have to make the choice of whether or not to be ruled by her fear of losing him, and desperately try to grasp for control she no longer needs, or cast aside that fear and allow for genuine, mutual love to flourish. Think about it this way: When you see a corpse, how do you react? If you don't care for the corpse or fear it, you stay away and let it decay. If the corpse belongs to someone you love, you tend to it and bury it.
And what do I think the best case scenario is? Well, I've made my opinion obvious, but I think there's one final thing I need to emphasize:
You don't claw at someone's back like a wild fucking animal if you're not really into it.
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I feel like a lot of people misread Willow as being the mentally stable friend.
She’s not, she just puts up a good front. Her goals aren’t about her. She doesn't consider her own emotions. Everything's about others.
Willow is someone who tries her best to appear put together and stable on the outside. She won’t let you see her crack. Because to her her friends are 1000x more important. Many witches state a goal that involves their career or deepest wish for themselves when they chose a palisman or make one. Willow doesn’t, and she’s one of the few we’ve seen who makes this choice. She doesn’t want to be strong to help herself gain power, she wants power to protect those close to her.
Willow isn’t one to let her emotions get the better of her. But when they do she breaks. She can’t put up with all the pressure, she has a breaking point. And this breaking point usually stems from this insecurity of her not being good enough. She needs to be good enough for others. And she is. But she’s not good enough for herself.
Willows an amazing friend but she’s in no way less mentally ill then anyone else. She is unsure of herself and always needs to prove herself to others. It’s not quite as obvious as it is with Hunter; he’s always running around trying to prove his worth and having panic attacks because of it. But it’s still there, she just does a good job of keeping it all inside.
With Hunter we see this aspect of him a lot. It’s a huge plot point in Eclipse Lake. He’s scared of rejection from Belos. He’s scared of being replaced. He’s scared of not having a place in the world. He puts the needs of others over his own constantly. But Hunter can’t put up a front like Willow can. The only time we get to really explore Willows insecurity's properly is when we literally are seeing inside her head. The episodes literally called Understanding Willow for crying out loud:
As someone who was bullied mercilessly for years when I was the age Willow is in this memory I really understand this whole episode on a very personal level. The things people said to Willow got to her. Her inner self says she’s just “finishing what (Amity) started.” Even when she heals her relationship with Amity she still has moments of insecurity. She calls herself, “half-a-witch.” She gets mad when Amity trys to protect her. She gets upset when she is captured by someone she trusted. All these things resurface old familiar emotions for her.
Willow has been trying her whole life to help people and for so long it didn’t work out. Amity calls her a “weakling.” She vows to be a powerful witch. Amity tells her she causes problems. Willow says she is going to protect everyone she loves. Amity rejects Willows friendship and picks on her.
Willow is scared of rejection.
Scared of disappointing people.
She is upset when Amity replaces her with new friends and lets them pick on her.
She can’t deal with any of these emotions - similarly to Hunter - so she combats it by constantly comforting and prioritizing others.
Willows incredibly powerful and strong. And amazing friend and a force not to be taken lightly.
But in no way is she over these deep rooted anxiety's of losing her friends, not being able to protect people, or being a nuisance and a problem.
I really want this to be an aspect of her that is focused on sometime in the future, because its a problem she has that is never really solved.
She’s not completely indestructible.
#toh#the owl house#toh spoilers#willow park#character analysis#amity blight#willow#willow toh#amity toh#amity#hunter#hunter toh#thanks to them#toh season 3#the owl house season three#toh analysis#the owl house character analysis#toh character analysis#the owl house analysis#vee noceda#v noceda#luz noceda#gus porter#emerald entrails
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: ̗̀➛ Playing hard to get with Genshin men
Who?
╰┈➤ Kaeya, Wanderer, Diluc, Alhaitham, Ayato
Situation?
╰┈➤ They confessed to you but you're acting hard to get.
✎ HEADCANONS ONLY!!! This is really short!! This is kinda like my warm up cuz I'm gonna be working for a short story that I'll send for school I'm kinda nervous but I really need to learn more as a writer for like a better grammar 🥹 huhu someday I won't be able to keep It simple and use fancy words🫡 jkjk but for now i cannot assure you of perfect grammar but enjoy!!
: ̗̀➛ KAEYA
You didn't expect that Kaeya would really confess to you, he's playful and flirty and you'd always think he's like that to everyone. Other than being flirty, Kaeya was a hard working and gentle man. You disregard your feelings for him before so why is that he had to confess when you thought you've moved on?
You didn't say yes or no when he confessed. You wanted to get to know him better before officially starting to date him, but you knew it yourself that you liked him back but where's the thrill if you'd answer him that fast?
You started to hang out with him often and let him do things for you. He compliments you and does everything just so you could feel confident about yourself. He didn't realize that you liked him back after one month when you're showing signs, you compliment him more than he does and became more flirtous with him. When he realizes what you're doing and finds out himself that you liked him back, he immediately meets up with you and when you're about to talk he kisses you, only because he loves you.
: ̗̀➛ WANDERER
You didn't process when you heard wanderer confess to you, You didn't know that he could feel human emotions because you knew from your friends that he's a puppet. When you asked him why he did, he didn't answer and waited for your other response which you didn't give because it didn't feel right, you didn't know it was possible at all.
Wanderer was disappointed because you couldn't give him an answer that day when he confessed, so whenever you met him he looked like his usual self where he looked annoyed and you were shy around him because your heart was always beating fast, he hated those moments where you're shy that he wished he didn't confess to you to keep you comfortable.
When you finally had that alone moment with him, the silences were killing you both that you had no choice but to confess out of nowhere, he teased you when you said you loved him and laughed about it but he felt joy secretly as you let him hold your hand for the first time.
: ̗̀➛ DILUC
Diluc was confident when he confessed to you but he felt embarrassed when you couldn't give him an answer. You couldn't answer because of two reasons, one because you were so happy. Two because you didn't know what to say. Either way, you couldn't answer because Diluc was so popular that everyone has been greeting him and you didn't know what to do.
You liked him too but you didn't know if you're mentally or even financially stable enough for him. Diluc gave you all the time that you needed and all you did for weeks was think about his confessions and you were scared that if you won't answer sooner he'll get tired but you knew he wasn't that kind of person who changes feelings overnight.
So when you think that you're finally ready to face him and tell him about how you feel he was more than happy. He knew that you liked him but still he gave you time because he didn't want to make you feel overwhelmed with everything. All diluc wanted to do was to make you the happiest that you can be and you really wished you played more hard to get just to see his cute reactions.
: ̗̀➛ ALHAIHAM
When alhaitham confessed, all you thought about was playing hard to get because your heart, mind and soul knows that you loved alhaitham. Ever since the first day, alhaitham got your attention and you were so focused on him that you didn't think that he'd like you because of that.
Alhaitham knows that you're really trying hard to make him jealous and get him things to do for you, he doesn't mind because he lets you do everything that you want him to. Sometimes, he teases you by making you jealous just like what you do to him. It makes you want to answer him and tell the world that you're dating him but it's fun playing hard to get.
You didn't realize that you're building bonds with him by your moments together. You both knew that you like each other and completely forgot about the dating part because you already act like couples. He'd take you to beautiful places and buy you everything that you set your eyes on and you'd do the same for him. When you're both visiting a place with beautiful scenery, you initiated the first kiss to give him a sign that you're officially dating.
: ̗̀➛ AYATO
Ayato felt sad when you couldn't give him the answer that he wanted to hear because he thought that you liked him too. Ayato is your long time crush maybe you liked him for about five years and him confessing was the happiest day of your life, it didn't feel real that you ran before you could even speak you knew that it wasn't the right thing to do but you would always run around like a puppy when you're happy and he knows that but this time, he misunderstood you. He thought you ran because you didn't like him which made him very sad.
You were already imagining how you and Ayato would be like as couples, you even tried to be all naughty and hard to get around him but you'd always fold when he does the most gentle man things he usually does only to you. Your playing hard to get plans didn't work on him because he was busy to even realize that still, he balances his work and you.
One day, you woke up touch-starved that you decided that, that day was the day you're gonna finally answer him. Ayato was happy when he finally heard what he had been wanting too. After that, he lets you stay at his office, he would kiss your cheeks every minute holding your hand while he's working.
#genshin imagines#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin headcanons#genshin impact headcanons#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham fluff#genshin fluff#al haitham x reader#al haitham fluff#alhaitham headcanons#ayato x reader#ayato fluff#ayato headcanons#diluc fluff#diluc x reader#diluc headcanons#wanderer x reader#wanderer fluff#scaramouche fluff#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche headcanons#wanderer headcanons#kaeya x reader#kaeya fluff#kaeya headcanons
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Karasu and control
I've been thinking about this for a while, and this part of Hiori's novel (previous reblog) just brought it back to my attention.
Karasu really likes to control things. I'm not saying he's a control freak, of course, but he certainly likes to feel a safe base beneath his feet. You can see this in his play style (when he gathers all the available information and acts only after that; his choice of France) and his fear of water (if I remember correctly, the thing that scares him the most in it is the unknown). AND also from the whole Marisa (his childhood crush) story (assuming it's true lol) - he's not the type to rush into anything: neither in relationships nor hobbies. I don't think he would have chosen to join Blue Lock if he wasn't really sure in his abilities. He's really mature about things like that.
I was thinking in the context of him probably going to university (data analysis please!) in addition to his sports career, since he seems like a really rational guy when it comes to serious stuff? He gives Hiori some great advice about not wasting his time on something he doesn't like, Ego mentions that his greatest skill is his analytical ability - he never acts because-he-just-feels-it, he was the one who argued with the referee in the U-20 game about Rin's injury (so responsible!), and generally acts very logically (except for the whole Hiori and his legs theme lol). I don't think he would be able to fully relate on the sport, he certainly knows about the statistics of failures and broken careers.
He loves football, of course, but he is really right about "people who only play football can't become great players". But that's more because for Karasu, it's unrealistic to be stable (which is sometimes a deciding point in the game) when your whole life depends on it. When everything relies on you winning. Karasu really has a glimpse of Snuffy's philosophy in that, and it's great to see that in the character: Failing at one thing doesn't say anything about you. And you should always be more than one thing to have the right mental balance.
That's what makes him so strong - not that he'll never fail. Of course one day he will.
But rather the knowledge that he has done everything to be stable in case of failure; that any possible failure will not ruin his life.
Because he has made sure that his back is covered.
#was thinking about it a lot for one of my (unwritten) tabiori fics#because I don't believe that Hiori would abandon football (through I'd REALLY would like to see that)#more like he'd be unsure in what to choose till the end of the NEL#and if they'd have been in relationships this uncertainty will really get under Karasu's skin#like would Hiori like to pursue his career or try something new#stay in Japan or leave everything behind and move away#he'd never turn it against Hiori of course but this for sure would have bothered him#idk I just love the way Karasu is so smart talented and overall amazing#but the moment he sees Hiori he becomes just an average weird teen totally into their crush#you know type of men who're like cool-cool and the second their spouse enters room they're dorks staring with the stars in eyes at them#that's Karasu#karasu tabito#blue lock analysis#bllk analysis#blue lock#bllk#tabiori
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Thought, MAD SCIENTIST IDIA, who decides to offer you a job when in need, as a tester for certain.. 'experiments' he has.. offering you a place to stay.. and etc.. How will things end here?..
CONTENT TAGS: Readers gender is not specified, Obsessive behavior, Implied(?) Yandere themes(?), Mention of medication/human experiments, Implied stalking, Kidnapping/abduction, 1.5k words.
"Are you nervous?” He asked, his voice ripping you out of your subconscious state, as you felt his hand on your shoulder, gently putting your hair aside, an action that caused you to let out a shaky breath.. “There’s no reason to be, this process is merely an extra precaution.. It won’t hurt in the slightest.” he sounded so sure of himself, the aura of sheer confidence pierced through the air, yet it did nothing to calm your worries as the memories of Idia’s previous experiments replayed in your head.
Sensing your worries once more, he let out a annoyed sigh.. “Come on… When have I ever lied to you?” he asked, his tone growing more stern, a change from his soft exterior moments before, and to be quite honest, you can recall a few previous memories that you’d much rather not bring up. Idia was a rather emotional client..
Though you use the term client sparingly, he and you used to be close.. Well before this employer and employee thing had begun’, sometimes you’d regret this decision, to work for a friend.. A friend who was most definitely not mentally stable, however at the time you really didn’t have much of a choice.. you were in crippling debt.. And he was willing to pay the price needed for the perfect test toy…
“The medications will activate in a bit’, would you like anesthetic?” he asked, his last ounce of consideration for you, until of course the procedure was over, you didn’t question why Idia was so stern on keeping the procedures intentions a secret from you, usually he’d explain to you the details of such intense experiments, just to ease your concern a bit.. However, you simply assumed that he had the best of intentions in mind, sure he wasn’t the safest person to be entangled with.. However, he would never hurt you.. After the few years you’ve been working with him, you were more than aware of how he’d hate it when you're hurt, making sure any cuts you received in or out of work, were treated with much care, he hated the sight of blood, no.. correction.. He hated the sight of your blood.. He’d personally treat your wounds, and take care of you when you fell ill from one of the more.. Let’s just say concerning experiments.
Idia repeated his question a bit louder this time, catching your attention “Ah— yes.. I’d rather not feel or remember what happens to me.. I don’t like that Idea.” you reply, second guessing yourself a tad bit, it wasn’t first time jitters, as you’ve been on this same bed, with these same weirdly shaped instruments, sharp objects, instruments, and devices surrounding you many times before, you can’t quite remember your first time here as well due to the sheer amount of times you’ve been here, though a part of you can bet it was due to some medicine or drug that Idia may or may have not given you during the entire experience.
The gap in your memories proved to be quite annoying, oftentimes you couldn’t recall the simplest things, Idia would do it for you.. Though you aren’t quite sure, if his recollection of a certain memory was any good, he had led you into many complications and sure, he may have helped solve many of them, but it wasn’t a good sign either way.. To be quite honest, you’d have left his estate long ago, if you could… But for some reason, something always stopped you.. an unexplainable force… or maybe you were overthinking due to stress.. yeah… that seemed reasonable.
Idia returned with some form of medication, “You don’t like the sight of needles.. Especially after last time.. So I think these will be much more favorable for you? Though they are not as strong as a needle” he handed you the pills, and you gave him a small smile, taking the glass of water you had left moments prior when taking some other form of medication, in your hands. You quickly swallowed the pill and chugged the water down.
“How long will it take before the pills activate?” you asked, the bitter taste of the pill lingered at the bottom of your throat, and you wished you could have brought more water though you were well aware that you shouldn’t have too much water in your system, you didn’t quite know why, but it was.just something Idia emplaced in his small but important list of lab rules.
“About an hour and a half, but I need you to stay here.” you nodded as Idia walked off… ‘Well that’s odd, he never leaves me alone’, and it was true.. For as long as you can remember Idia has never left you unattended, especially after you took any form of medication, it was his way of ensuring your safety, or so you thought. You should probably get cozy, for when the medication hit, but you had about an hour so why not fiddle around? Idia never minded your little tactics so as long as it eased your worries, you were allowed to fiddle around with the equipment that was not in the tray.
Somewhere along the lines you lost your sight of things, and you found yourself wandering, it wasn’t the first time.. However, this lab was new, Idia has recently swapped rooms, it was an odd change, however it was one of many you choose to ignore, after all what he did in his personal life was none of your business. Though personal and work clashed and became a blur long ago, you’ve maintained a fair line when it came to personal and work, something that proved to annoy Idia.
You exited through the door and were currently walking through an unknown hall, which had no exits in sight, sort of like those backrooms that you saw from videos in the past.. It was weird and unsettling, an eerie feeling washed over you, you should have headed back.. but right then and there, you found a door.. It blends in with the walls well, an odd choice of aesthetic, even for Idia. Curiosity washed over you, and you just couldn’t resist the sheer urge to open the closed door, which was hidden for some cause.. you could only imagine what could be hiding behind the closed door… you still had some time.. more than enough time... right?
You quickly checked surroundings for any security cameras, thankfully there were none.. another thing that piqued your curiosity all the bit more. You took a deep breath, when’s the next time you’ll get such a chance? You already knew the estate in and out… Slowly, you opened the door, ceasing into your curiosity.
The room was dimly lit, tall large windows decorated the walls, being the only source of light.. They were closed with light translucent currents, which cascaded down the window.. They reminded you of something.. You couldn’t name it.. The room was spacious. You pushed the curtains to the side, fully brightening the room.. When looking outside of the window, they viewed a familiar, yet foreign scenery, it made you feel worried.. It was scary how this room seemed so familiar, yet foreign to you.. You choose to look around the surroundings, finding a covered board of some sorts, you decide to uncover it.. revealing.. Quite the sight, it was visual photographs with someone's internal parts, on full display.. As if they’ve been cut out.. Dates written on them.. Maybe you should’ve checked the dates, but you already felt the strong urge to vomit.. Slowly you covered the board back up, it was a terrifying sight, yet something about them kept you curious.. And you choose to continue your little venture.
You found photos of a child? The child seemed familiar, and you continued to find more and more pictures, dates, filings, and more.. All with the name of Y/n L/n, you even found a journal, you flipped through its contents..
“They're coming to my school.. Hopefully I’ll be able to speak with them”
“.....As planned, they’re now more than willing to help out with my projects, the medication worked!”
As you read more and more, it hit you.. You weren’t a typical test rat, but this ‘Y/n L/n’ themselves, a university graduate Idia had kidnapped, after stalking you from childhood.. He had abducted you from who knows where, and manipulated your identity, into his own twisted fantasy.. even your memories, catching you in this sugar coated web of lies.. You weren’t here for three years, but six.. These experiments he conducted were used to keep you from escaping, ruining you slowly, so only he could ‘fix’ the wounds he’d create.
‘Were those organs yours’
“— where are you?, it’s almost been an hour and a half” his voice pierced through your ears, as you began to quiver in fear.. You had to escape.. somehow—.. but at this crucial time, your legs had given up on you, all you could do was quickly hide everything and try your best to put on an act, as you huddled in a corner, waiting for him to find you.
You heard an audible “oh”, as the sound of his footsteps slowly followed, “Is this where my little lab rats been hiding?” he let out a small chuckle, as he opened the door, and then everything faded to black.. The last scene you could remember before the pills had taken its toll was Idia walking up to you, reaching out for you.
© cupids-chamber, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation from me.
#idia shroud#idia#idia shroud x reader#idia x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#yandere twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twst x y/n#twst x yuu#twst x you#twst headcanons#twst scenarios#twst imagines#twst imagine#twst angst#twst fanfic#twst idia#twst idia x reader#twst idia shroud#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland scenarios#twisted wonderland imagines#twst idia shroud x reader#fanfic#yandere scenarios#yandere x reader
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Broccoli
Jack Chambers one shot
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: smut, spanking, slight degradation, roughness
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“Don’t worry, darling,” Jack responded while popping open the microwave and pulling out the package he had placed in it earlier to cook, “We still have broccoli.”
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“Darling?”
Jack’s voice ringed through their home as he entered through the front door, coming home from a long day at work.
Jack had been working a lot lately. He had just been promoted at work and wanted to prove to his boss that he was worthy of the higher ranking, so he had been spending an ungodly amount of hours at the office.
Y/N was currently in between jobs after coming to the realization that her job was ruining her. She was a shell of a person whenever she would come home from her receptionist job at a local law firm and Jack couldn’t stand to see her that way. So, with him getting promoted, they knew they would still be financially stable if Y/N took a step away from working for a bit to get her mental health under control.
With having all this time on her hands now, Y/N had gotten back into some old hobbies to fill up her days. Drawing and painting had always been a love of Y/N’s. That was one of the things Jack had initially fell in love with, her passion for the things she loved. The day he came home from work to her in their spare room to find that she had filled it with brand new canvases and a multitude of paints, he knew that she was settling back into herself again. That evening, Jack ordered her a desk and easel to add to the room, and even spent the next day moving out the spare bed in the room so she could create an “art studio” for herself.
Usually at this time of night, Jack would come home to find Y/N about done with dinner for the two of them. When she didn’t answer him when he called out for her as he walked in the door, he knew exactly where she must be.
Jack made his way to Y/N’s art studio and could hear her humming along to the music she had playing that was leaking out through the cracked door.
Carefully, he peaked in the crack of the door, trying not to disturb her.
“With you all the time…” Y/N sung to herself as she kept her focus on the brush strokes she was creating across the canvas she had infront of her on the floor.
With a small smile on his face, Jack backed away from the door and walked towards their kitchen, on a mission to make dinner for the two of them while Y/N finished up her painting.
Jack didn’t have much experience in the kitchen as he was often working late and Y/N would make something before he got home, but surely he could figure something out.
Shifting through the contents of the fridge, Jack came across some chicken breasts that Y/N must’ve been planning on cooking tonight as they had already been taken out of the package and prepped. He figured it would be easy enough to do something with that. After he preheated the oven, he found himself a baking pan, placed the chicken in it, and then hunted the cabinets for some type of seasoning. After seasoning the chicken to the best of his ability, Jack placed the chicken in the oven before moving on to find something else to prepare to have with the chicken.
Jack found a bag of potatoes in the lazy susan and decided that mashed potatoes must be a dish he could easily conquer. Before beginning on those, he found himself looking in the freezer to see if they had any of Y/N’s favorite vegetable, broccoli, to also go with their meal. Jack always found it weird that out of all the choices out there, broccoli was her favorite. But, he wanted to make her a good meal and he knew that would make her happy.
They had some microwavable packages of broccoli, so, after he found one, he placed it in the microwave to cook for a few minutes before working on the mashed potatoes again.
Taking the potatoes out of the bag and sitting them on the table, Jack quickly realized he had no idea out to make mashed potatoes and that maybe he couldn’t easily conquer them.
He leaned his hands on the table and looked down at the potatoes with his eyebrows pulled together.
“Well…I at least need to mash them,” he said to himself, pushing off the table to find something to mash them with.
He turned around with his hands on his hips and his lips pulled in his mouth as he glanced around the room. His eyes spotted a bottle of bourbon on the bar cart placed in the corner of the kitchen, “I guess this will do.”
Jack placed the potatoes in a large bowl, glanced at the bottle of bourbon in his hand, shrugged, and the proceeded to *try* to mash the potatoes with the bottom of the bottle.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Jack paused with the bourbon bottle mid air as he heard Y/N speak behind him. He quickly placed the bottle down and turned to smile at her.
“Don’t look at that, but I’m making dinner! Baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and your favorite,” he said to her as he walked up to her and placed his hands on her hips, pulling her in to him.
Jack smiled down at her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I missed you today, darling.”
Y/N hummed and relaxed into him as she looked up at him, “I missed you, too. Didn’t realize you were home or what time it was. I would’ve made you dinner, love.”
“You always make me dinner, let me take care of my wife for the evening, okay?”
“Okay, but I don’t think you’re gonna get very far with those mashed potatoes if you keep that method up,” Y/N giggled looking around him at the bourbon bottle placed next to the bowl of raw potatoes.
“I don’t think I’m gonna get very far if you keep that up,” he responded, voice an octave lower and his eyes growing heavy.
Y/N looked back up at him, surprised by his switch in behavior. “If I keep what up?” she questioned as her heart started to beat a little faster.
“If you keep looking so beautiful. Crazy how fast you turn me on just by existing,” Jack murmured against the side of her face, gently bringing his lips down until they graze across her lips.
They stay like that for a beat, just grazing their lips against one another waiting for the other to make the move to connect their lips.
Not being able to take it any more, Y/N reached up and grabbed the side of Jack’s head, bringing his lips roughly into hers. This told him everything he needed to know about how their night would go.
Rough and rushed.
They were devouring each other as if they had been starved of one another for a lifetime.
Jack held on to Y/N as he moved her backwards into the living room before pushing her down onto the couch and crawling on top of her.
He breaks the kiss and looks down at her, “Oh look at my precious little wife. I spend my evening preparing a whole dinner for her, but shes desperately hungry for something else. Hm? Isn’t that right, Darling?”
“Always hungry for you,” Y/N quietly, breathily responds as she looks up with him with those big eyes that make him unable to restrain himself.
Without hesitation, Jack lifts himself up to rip Y/N’s sweatpants off her body while proceeding to toss her body around until she laying on her stomach.
He goes to land a slap against her ass when something catches his eye and he can’t help to lower his hand and let out a laugh instead, his dominant demeanor immediately dissolving.
“What?” Y/N asks, looking back at him worried and confused as to why he was laughing at her.
“I don’t even want to know what you have been doing in that studio to get paint all over your bum,” he said through a smile and chuckled as he lightly tapped the few splotches of paint.
Y/N craned her neck over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the paint he was referring to before responding, “I honestly don’t either, but if you don’t stop laughing at me and just fuck me soon then I’m g-FUCK!”
She yelped as he brought his hand roughly down on her ass, a loud smack sounding through the room.
“I’d shut that dumb little mouth of yours if you expect me to give you anything tonight,” Jack said, rubbing the place on her ass that he had just hit.
Y/N sighed, closing her eyes, “Yes, sir.” She relaxed into the couch knowing that if Jack was in his dominant state that she would be getting exactly what she wanted no matter what.
He was so pussy-whipped.
“There she is, been waiting for my good girl to come out.”
Jack leaned back and brought his hand to the zipper of his dress pants. He undid them and pulled his pants and underwear down just enough to let his cock spring free. He reached down and pushed Y/N’s underwear to the side, feeling how wet she already was.
“Hmmmm, barely even touched you. What? Does seeing me in the kitchen turn you into a whore for me?”
“Always a whore for you,” she hummed back as she wiggled her ass aganst his hands rubbing her up and down.
He removed a hand at the action and brought his hand down in a spank against her ass. “Cmon, don’t be greedy, darling.”
While Y/N squirmed from the spank she just received, Jack to line his shaft up with her entrance brushing himself lightly against her.
“Not greedy, just missed you.”
“Missed me? You had me last night,” Jack said as he roughly pushed himself into her. “But I guess I missed you too fuck.”
Jack began fucking into her so roughly that Y/N couldn’t even catch her breath to moan out.
He kept his quick pace for a minute before reaching around Y/N’s throat and bringing her up on her knees against his chest. He slowed down, giving her harder thrusts.
She threw her head back in a moan as he slightly tightened his grip around her throat and began whispering in her ear, “There ya go, darling, there ya go. Let yourself feel it all.”
“Mmmm, I love you so much, Jack,” she lazily spoke out with her eyes softly shut.
“Love you forever, always want you to feel good,” Jack responded as he began kissing and sucking on her exposed neck.
No matter how rough they were with each other, their love was always the number one thing fueling the passion. Expressing their love for one another no matter the intensity of the moment was extremely important to them.
Feeling he was close, Jack reached around Y/N’s body with the hand that wasn’t around her neck to press his fingers against her clit.
A whine escaped the back of her throat, her face scrunching up, and her body wiggling in his hold as he began to move his fingers to bring her to the edge with him.
“Cmon darling, I’ve got you. Just gotta let go for me, yeah?” he said into her ear.
Immediately following his words, Y/N’s entire body clenched up and she gripped onto Jack’s arms has tight as she could, feeling her orgasm tack control of her body.
Shortly following, Jack halted his thrusts and released inside of her, his body shuddering has she continued to clench around him.
They slowly caught their breath and relaxed into one another. They sat peacfully recovering in each others arms when Y/N spoke up, “Jack…”
“Hm, darling. I got you,” he responded tightening his arms around her to keep her grounded after her orgasm.
“No, I-is…” she stammered out, “Is something burning? Smells funny?”
Jack’s eyes shot open as he jumped up heading for the kicthen while shoving himself back into his pants.
He forgot the chicken in the oven.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” he chanted as he ran into the kitchen.
Y/N got up and followed him into the kitchen to see him open the oven as smoke billowed out of it.
Jack waved the smoke out of his face and quickly grabbed a pair of oven mits to get the chicken out of the oven.
He threw the pan and burnt chicken onto the counter before slamming the oven closed. “
“Don’t look at that, either,” he let out a breath before looking back up to Y/N whose had was covering her mouth as she tried to keep herself from laughing at him.
“Burnt chicken and raw mashed potatoes. Not sure if this is much of a dinner love,” Y/N teased with a smile on her face.
“Don’t worry, darling,” Jack responded while popping open the microwave and pulling out the package he had placed in it earlier to cook, “We still have broccoli.”
-
a/n
only the second one shot i’ve written and writing smut is still kinda weird for me but i’m enjoying it! omg but jack deserves it bc he’s hot !!! that’s all !!!!
lmk what you think ab it!!
#harry styles#harry#harry styles love on tour#harry styles tpwk#styles#as it was#harry tpwk#love on tour#lot#harry styles blurb#harry smut#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagine#don’t worry darling#jack chambers#jack chambers x reader#jack chambers imagine#jack chambers x y/n#harry styles au#don’t worry darling x reader#dwd
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first steps to self improvement
introduction
hey loves! i want to make a post for people who have just decided to self-improving. to be healthier and happier but they don’t know where to start. 2 years ago i was in a similar position and i never though i’d be doing as good as i am today! i want to share some tips and then give my own advice too on how to begin :)
where to start?
self improvement is about one thing- knowing yourself. understanding your flaws, your skills. what YOU want. consider what your insecurities are, what your struggles are- whether with your mental or physical health. ask yourself:
what is the biggest thing i can improve on?
what changes do i want to make in my daily routine?
what habits do i want to pick up?
mental health
your mental health should be your FIRST step. a lot of times our mental health will bleed into our physical health, our discipline, pretty much everything. i also want to stress the importance of mental health because you might genuinely have a mental health condition that you don’t know about. my tips are mainly about just being a happier person, but getting treatment should always be the first step if you have a serious mental illness. :)
keep a mental health journal. i want you to keep a journal to record your thoughts, the negative ones. when you do that i want you to think deeper and get to the root of your feelings. keeping a journal to vent and understand yourself better will help you so much! i struggled a lot with regulating my emotions but having a healthy place to vent has made me a lot more stable.
find ways to cope. find habits that help you feel less stressed or sad. things that you do when you’re experiencing serious emotions in order to feel better.
shape your thoughts. be able to recognize when your thoughts are becoming toxic, judgemental, self-loathing etc. notice your own patterns and begin to correct yourself.
practice healthy habits. practicing meditation and mindful breathing are ways that i’ve found really help. but at the end of the day self improvement is about YOU- what works for you and what helps you grow as a person.
observe and reflect. one thing that helped me mature a lot is just reflecting on my actions, my choices and observing the world around me. have awareness of how you act.
reminder- life isn’t about being happy 100%. it’s not about avoiding anything that might cause unhappiness, sometimes it’s about dealing with these problems head on.
physical health
the first step with bettering your health is knowing what YOU need to work on. is your sleep schedule bad? is your diet not balanced? first you need to identify what you want to better yourself on. physical and mental health also go hand in hand- to improve on is to improve the other.
improving your diet. make sure to eat a variety of foods. improving your diet isn’t easy so always start with small changes. eating at home more often or learning to cook is a big first step that makes a big difference. incorporate a variety of fruits, vegtables and proteins. educate yourself on nutrition.
staying hydrated! most americans are dehydrated and i definitely know a lot of people who don’t drink enough. make sure you’re getting enough water! water should always be your main drink since it’s the healthiest.
get active. exercise is so important to our bodies. obesity in america is going way up, and it has a lot of complications to it. working out can mean a lot of things- going for walks, bikerides, or traditional home workouts.
get more fresh air. i know a lot of people might not live in areas where they can go outside or hang out for a long time, but making small changes like opening windows can help a lot.
fix your sleep schedule. getting proper rest is crucial in how our bodies function. if your sleep schedule isn’t good than put your attention towards fixing it.
maintain good hygeine. this is self explanatory. if your hygeine isn’t good or you don’t have a consistent routine, then develop one.
my advice
start small with everything. when you want to have healthier habits start with doing them a little bit and then eventually doing them for longer periods. what i mean is start something attainable (like working out everyday for 10 minutes) and once you’ve grown accustomed to that than you can change it to 20 minutes or so on.
develop habits. choose habits that better your body and mind and stay consistent to them! for me i always make sure i workout, journal and read EVERYDAY.
self improvement is very personal. a lot of my points made here are vague. at the end of the day self improvement is knowing what you want to improve and then incorporating healthy habits into your routine and staying consistent.
consistency is the key to success!
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