#i work but its not sustainable. i have lots of chronic pain from my job. it is so physical. i need to take it easy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anjelicablogshawaii · 3 years

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The Call

So much of my life has been marked by my struggle to find a home that sometimes I think that I don’t spend enough time thinking about my search for a calling. Maybe it’s because they’re so intertwined that it’s hard for me to separate one from the other. Admittedly, it’s a strange train of thought, but I’m a writer, and strange is my native milieu.

I bounced around from major to major in college... I probably looked like the ultimate commitment-phone with all of my major changes looking for the major that would be just right. There were a lot that were almost right. But, for various reasons (math requirements, boredom, burnout, too many gut feelings while looking at my degree audit trying to figure out how to graduate in four years...), they didn’t work out.

My interests are wide enough that often, I can see several options and feel that I could be happy with any of them, which makes figuring out My Calling even more difficult.

In high school, I thought that going to Stony Brook was what would make me happy, but I wasn’t any happier there than I was in high school. I was actually miserable. My boss knew I wanted to transfer, and one day when I showed up for work, he ordered me to his work truck. When I asked him where we were going, he reiterated that I was going to his work truck. He drove me out to a satellite campus on the East End, parked at the dock, and as I got out of his truck, a breeze kicked up over the Bay. I started crying. I blamed it on the sun. It wasn’t the sun. It was enough, for a while.

Over winter break my second year of college, I visited my godparents in Utah. God found me again in a mission church on the edge of the Navajo Nation, and I didn’t want to finish school without figuring out what God was asking of me. I wanted to take time off to do a certificate program through a seminary, but that didn’t go over well with my family. I decided to put all of my energy into getting out of college as fast as I possibly could so that I could pursue ordination and get myself back to the Navajo Nation. I even had a job offer waiting for me to sign on the dotted line. But it didn’t work out. And I was devastated.

I applied to grad school, went to Kenya, found a place that I loved, a place that needed help as much as I needed the feeling of wholeness I found there. I had little to offer, because what good is English language when there is no water? So, I went to Hawaii to learn how to farm sustainably and efficiently, and fell in love with a completely different environment, and somehow, I found myself, too. It wasn’t perfect. There were fights with the cook, conflicts amongst members of my Esky team, vastly different expectations of how our time would be spent and who we would answer directly to... It was different than we expected, but it was wonderful, too. I daydreamed about what I would do next. There was a Fulbright Fellowship on the slow food movement that I thought would compliment the farming bit well, but I didn’t want to leave Hawaii. I asked if I could apply for a second year. And then I broke my finger, got a sunburn, and got a rash. I knew what it meant; I just hoped I was wrong. I wasn’t.

Going back to Hawaii would be a fatal mistake.

I never understood how one sentence could shatter your life until that appointment. My plans to return to finish out my contract, my plans to go to Italy, my plans to go back to Kenya and spend my life there... They were all gone, only I knew they existed, and I couldn’t pretend they hadn’t for the sake of getting on with things. Still, life went on. I had to make calls.

I called my Esky Director. I felt horrible. I was offered the first contract on my team, and I was letting him and my team down. The reasons why didn’t matter. They were depending on me and I couldn’t follow through. He wasn’t surprised; I’d been gone long enough that he doubted there would be good news about what was making me so sick, but he had hoped, and I had, too. In every moment of fear before I’d left for Hawaii, and in every moment of fear I’d had before I had a diagnosis, I reminded myself that the will of God would never take me anywhere that the grace of God would not also protect me. And yet: everything I wanted to do, everything I felt called to do, every certainty I’d felt in my bones had been taken from me. It didn’t seem like there was a surplus of people who wanted to move to a remote, politically unstable region of the Horn of Africa. Why would I be taken out of the equation? What good could I do the world inside all of the limitations of my new life? How was that time better spent than it would have been going through the mystics with my Hawaiian spiritual director? What did the chronic pain teach me? My suffering was, for years, so intense that if I were a house pet, I would have been put down because it was inhumane to leave me in pain. But I had to endure it.

I knew that I would never know how or why, and that made it so much harder to endure it all.

For years, I could hardly dream any new dreams for my life. It felt useless; even if I loved something, it would probably be outside of my capabilities, or something else would happen to take it away from me. And I’d had my calling. I couldn’t do it. Nothing came to replace it. Nothing eased that ache. I started to believe that I would spend the rest of my life with the phantom pain of my lost calling.

I went back to Hawaii for a writers conference I’d been planning to attend before I got sick. It wasn’t painful. In fact, I felt happier than I had in years. When I swam in the Bay, it was like she remembered me. Like she was welcoming me home again. Slowly, the pain released its grip on me. And as it did, I waited for the day I would wake up and know that I had a new calling. A few years went by. No calling came.

Before I turned 30, I asked my Esky boss why there was no new calling. “It’s been 6 years.” I told him. Plenty of time for a Type A Perfectionist to decide that God’s missing the cues. In a surprising turn of events, I found a new calling, and made lists and worked towards my goals. In a more surprising turn of events, a worldwide pandemic hit, and all of my plans and all of my lists went up in smoke. In the most shocking turn of events of all, it’s been a year since that pandemic started, and I’ve moved from despair to productivity. I’ve done more continuing ed this last year than I’d done in the previous ten--by a lot!

Last spring--and I couldn’t even tell you how I found them--I came across a school and realized that I wanted to do every single degree they offered. I was in a panic about the future of my life, and decided that going back to grad school for housing security was a terrible idea. I had plenty to keep busy with without throwing grad school into the mix, so I moved on. I wrote, I learned, I meditated, I tentatively made new lists and new plans, but I still had terrible uncertainty hanging over my head. We moved. I came back to those programs, and read them all again. And in the unexpected and inexplicable way that it is when the Spirit moves, the path forward became clear. Joseph Campbell said, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”

I have struggled in the 8 years since I graduated to fully articulate how I see the interdisciplinary sustainability work of my BA working with my MFA in writing, beyond that I was interested in both fields, so I got a degree in each. The graduate certificate I’m taking now has bridged those fields in a way that feels exciting and natural. I feel like I got new glasses and now the fuzzy world has been rendered clear, sharp, and vivid.

It turns out that the questions I’ve been asking and the things I like do actually go together... I just needed to find a place that understood those questions, and I think I have. I also needed not only to be ready, but to feel ready to undertake the work. While I still struggle with my imposter syndrome some days, one of the liberating and wonderful surprises of my thirties is that after graduating with an MFA at 23 and deferring to others for years, I finally feel like I can speak with authority, and not only on matters of writing or text analysis. I know a lot! And people value my insights! (Crazy, right?)

I also know that no matter what I do, or where I go, all roads lead me back to Hawaii. That is where my heart is at home, and where my spirit feels settled.

#anjelicablogshawaii #Anjelica blogs Hawaii

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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So, I really hate making these posts and try not to as much as possible, but the only thing I’ve eaten in the last two days is a stale muffin from 7-11 that was all I could afford with the whole dollar and ten cents in my bank account yesterday.

I know there’s a ton of people in dire straits and there’s never a shortage of donation posts, and I also know from personal experience that there’s also a lot of amazing and generous people who give as much as they can to people whenever they can. I KNOW that some of you want to help but have just already helped as much as you possibly can, and please just know that just because I’m still struggling, that doesn’t mean that any help you gave me already didn’t make a difference. The responses I got to my first donation post early last month are the only reason I survived December, and like....they made a difference, and they definitely mattered. And I also know there’s people who see my posts and want to help but already gave whatever they could to other donation posts and please don’t ever feel bad that you don’t have anything you can send because you already sent it to someone else who needed it.

I truly do not make posts like this with any kind of expectation, its just...desperation, lol. I’ve monetized every skill I can think of that I have in every way possible I can come up with, I’m working as much as I possibly can when I do find the work, but this past month I’ve spent three to four hours every day searching out new jobs and commissions and clients with practically zero results, and I can only work with the work that’s there,

There are positives, I mean, my efforts in rebuilding my credit have really started to pay off and I finally have a decent credit score that should make getting an apartment finally possible on that front. I have insurance now, so all the stuff I’ve been waiting months to get started on is now at least feasibly affordable. Now I just need to be able to like, capitalize on these things, y’know? As great as it is to only have to pay sixty bucks for one of the medical tests I need done where without insurance it would’ve been three hundred, only making just enough to stay afloat in the motel I’m at day to day still keeps that stuff JUST out of reach and that’s...ugh.

And also, its hard to be productive on one muffin every 1-2 days lmao, esp when you’ve got the whole chronic pain medical shit blah blah wtfever ugh shut up my life.

But seriously, anything you can spare helps keep me afloat and building towards a day/point when I can actually do something to turn things around in a more permanent, sustainable way. Like, you may think that oh ppl say on donation posts all the time that even one or two bucks helps, but does it really? But let me tell you, like....yes. Yes it does. Even two bucks is basically double what I spent on food over the last two days lol, so....yeah.

And again, if you just can’t spare anything, you wanna help but you’ve already helped as much as you could or helped other people - I totally get that and am grateful that you already did everything you could, whether it was for me or for someone else who needed it. It may not make a ton of sense but it honestly helps to know that some ppl just aren’t in a position to help me personally because someone else already benefited from their help. Like, when you’re living one of those ‘ugh, wouldnt wish this on anyone’ lives at the moment, and you see so many other ppl going through so much shit of their own like, fuck yeah, I’d love a comfortable cushion in my bank account, who wouldn’t, but there’s still its own kinda value in knowing someone else who spent yesterday just as worried about where their next meal would come from as you is sleeping a little easier tonight because someone else responded to their donation post instead of yours. Like, that’s not a loss, or a waste or something anyone should feel bad about, so please don’t.

If all you can do is reblog, that honestly helps too, so please don’t think its an empty gesture that doesn’t really do much. You never know when your reblog might be the one to make a difference for someone, because someone who follows you is in a position to help and might never have seen my post otherwise. I know I got donations last month from people who don’t follow me and probably had no idea who I was before my post crossed their dash, and I know in the past I’ve donated to people I’d never heard of before a mutual reblogged their post, and again - when even a few bucks can make a difference, let alone the larger amounts some generous souls on here are capable of sending, yeah, even a simple reblog really and truly can make a difference. Not just for my post here, but for any and all donation posts.

Anyway, here’s the link to my paypal again, and thanks for reading or reblogging or donating or hell, even just for following someone who reblogs this onto your dash because that’s definitely someone I Officially Like and appreciate even if I have no idea who they are lol.

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming

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doctorfiction · 5 years

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Are there certain injuries that are more commonly seen in young women abused by their boyfriends?

You will notice that this posting consists of a single entry. I had already chosen 3 questions for this week’s posting when this appeared in my inbox. As you know, my answers are generally infused with a fair dose of whimsy.

I felt this question deserved a forum of its own undiluted by humor. Fear not, the 3 previously chosen questions will appear next week.

It is my fervent hope that the inspiration for this question is purely literary.

One of the most common misconceptions is to limit the concept of abuse to physical violence. Abuse springs from a desire to control. The perpetrator accomplishes this task through a combination of physical, emotional, social and financial gambits.

I will answer the question with a most disheartening fictional Emergency Room encounter.

As I am a writer, talking to other writers, I have exercised poetic license. The patient presented here is a fictitious amalgam of partner abuse injuries I have treated in the Emergency Department. My hope is that this will both answer the question and further raise awareness of this epidemic.

The post is quite long but please bear with me and read it all. I hope it will both educate and aid in the literary treatment of this epidemic issue.

Abbreviations: CC/chief complaint, HPI/ History of Present Illness, ROS/Review of Systems, PMHx/Past Medical History, CM/ current medications, PSHx/Past Surgical History, Imaging/ (X-ray, CT, MRI, Ultrasound), Dx: Diagnosis, and TX. If you are “getting all medical” in your story, the format shown below adds great credibility, allowing you to present information for discussion without appearing as an “info-dump.”

Physical examination was as follows: Pertinent POSITIVES are in bold

23 NOV 20XX

CC: L leg pain, headache and chest wall pain.

HPI: A 22-year-old female sits on the exam table. She is accompanied by her 25-year-old boyfriend. The boyfriend is bent over and whispering in her ear. She is nodding. They separate and he half smiles when I enter the room with a nurse.

The patient has swelling and yellow-brown bruising about the left eye. Although it is a hot summer evening, she is wearing a long-sleeve blouse, jeans, and socks. Her partner is wearing cut-offs, short-sleeve T-shirt and steel-toe work boots with gray socks.

She c/o Left lower leg pain, left upper arm pain, right rib pain made worse with deep breathing, abdominal pain without nausea and headache with blurred vision on left. She states that she sustained the injuries when she tripped over a rug and fell onto a “coffee table.” She denies LOC. (loss of consciousness) She also complains of left lower leg pain, worsened by weight-bearing. She c/o low abdominal pain associated with fall. Her partner interjects, stating that she can be clumsy and fell off the front porch 2 months prior sustaining arm, chest head injury. She denies ETOH (alcohol.) The nurse tells her she looks familiar. The patient responds that she was in the E.D. a couple of months ago after “falling off the front porch.” Her partner laughs and volunteers that she’s a bit clumsy. The patient is crying, appears deferential and stares at the floor during history.

ROS: Positive for Head trauma with pain and swelling about R eye. Blurred vision R eye. A headache. Right side chest pain worse with deep breathing, and pain mid-portion L upper arm. Abdominal pain. Increased frequency of urination. Fatigue. Irregular infrequent menses. (LMP 4 months prior)

PMHx: Depression with Anxious Mood

Second Trimester Abortion secondary to fall

Abdominal Pain/chronic of unknown etiology

Fracture Right Wrist after fall

OB-GYN: G2/P0/Spontaneous AB2 (2 pregnancies, no births, 2 non-medically induced abortions)

CM: Prozac 20mg daily

PSHx:

D&C after traumatic abortion

Open Reduction and Internal Fixation Right Wrist Fracture

Social: Patient states she feels safe at home when queried.

Negative ETOH or illicit drug usage. 3 cigarettes per day

The nurse gives the patient a gown for the examination and asks the boyfriend and me to step out. He is reluctant but complies.

In the hall, the E.R. clerk hands me an EDie. report on the patient.

An EDie report is a computer-generated list of every emergency department visit to any E.R. for a given patient in a given time period.

The patient’s Edie reveals she has had nine visits in the past 12 months. Five visits have been for musculoskeletal “fall” trauma, two for abdominal pain, and one for anxiety. The clerk pulls me aside and states that the patient’s partner has had two E.D. visits in the past year, one for injuries sustained in a fight at work and another for evaluation after an arrest for driving while intoxicated.

When I question the partner regarding the patient’s repeated fall injuries, he states again that she falls a lot, becomes visibly agitated and says he has to go outside for a smoke.

Exam:

General: Patient alert and oriented x 3. No acute physical distress.

Head: Scaring of eardrums, L>R consistent with childhood ear infections vs healed traumatic rupture from blunt trauma. Questionable Left hemotympanum (blood behind the eardrum.) Obvious dental caries (tooth decay) in upper and lower molars. Chipped teeth: Right upper central incisor upper and Left lower canine.

Neck: Trachea midline, neck veins flat, Tenderness with Range of Motion. Generalized tenderness with palpation, no spinous tenderness. Blue-green fingertip bruising noted, one left, three right at the level of the trachea. (strangulation injury either “throttling or near strangulation to establish control)

Heart: Rate 102 and regular, without murmur.

Chest/Back: Lungs clear to auscultation without quiet areas. Black-blue fingertip bruising left breast. Multiple areas of bruising. Bright erythema (redness) with underlying edema noted of anterolateral aspect R ribs 5-7. Significant tenderness and crepitus (grating or crackling) over the affected area with inspiration. No tenderness or crepitus or step-off noted on spinal exam. Numerous bruises L/R chest and back. These cover the spectrum, ranging from Black-Blue-Green-Yellow and Brown.

Abdomen: Non-distended, non-tympanic with positive bowel sounds. The uterus is non -palpable. There is a large area of erythema noted in the suprapubic area with associated tenderness. A single circular 4mm burn with eschar is noted 7.5cmm inferior to the umbilicus.

Genital/Pelvic: Deferred at patient request (follow-up ob-gyn exam to be scheduled) Upper Extremities: No gross deformity. Warm and well perfused with good bilateral peripheral pulses. Fingertip erythema noted over mid-portion Left Humerus. Numerous areas of fingertip bruising. As with back and chest, these range from black to brown. Right extremity and balance of left extremity have a similar appearance. In addition, there are a total of 9 (4 right arm and 5 left arm) 5mm circular scars (cigarette burns) consistent with old healed 2nd-degree burn.

Lower Extremities: Warm and well perfused with good bilateral peripheral pulses. No gross deformity, no shortening or external rotation of leg when supine. SLR (Straight-Leg-Raise) negative left and right. Again, numerous bruises of various colors left and right over the Anterior Tibia. Abrasion and erythema with underlying edema (swelling) and tenderness left mid anterior tibia. No crepitus.

Neurological: Cranial and Spinal Nerves intact by exam. Gait not tested until post-X-ray due to painful weight-bearing.

Psyche: Cooperative, minimally conversational with direct query. Flat affect with overt signs of Depression with Anxious Mood

Labs:

1)Urine HCG (pregnancy test) negative

2) Urinalysis 2+blood and numerous WBC (white blood cells), with numerous motile trichomonads (trichomoniasis)

3) CBC, CMP WNL (Within Normal Limits)

Imaging:

1) Head CT w/o contrast: small 2 mm LEFT tempo-parietal subdural hematoma. No other acute pathology but there is scattered parenchymal (brain tissue) scarring consistent with old microbleeds. No facial/nasal/orbital fractures seen.

2)Left Tibia/Fibula X-ray: No acute bony or soft tissue abnormality seen. Evidence of old, healed nondisplaced fracture anterior tibia.

3)Left Humerus X-ray: spiral fracture mid humeral shaft with no angulation and good apposition.

4)Chest X-ray with Right Rib detail: Acute nondisplaced fractures right ribs 3-5. Old rib fractures noted in various states of healing R ribs 3,5,6 and L ribs 4-7. No pneumothorax, no acute cardiopulmonary process.

DX: 1) Traumatic Subdural Hematoma

2)Abdominal Contusion

3)Contusion Left Tibia

4) Spiral Fracture

5) Nondisplaced fractures R ribs 3-5

6) Trichomoniasis

7) Amenorrhea

8) Acute on Chronic Depression

*****Symptom Cluster suggestive of Domestic Abuse*****

Consult: Social Services

Hospital Administration on Call

Hospital Security

Additional History: Patient is presented with diagnosis and informed of concerns regarding potential abuse scenario. Patient denies abuse and asks to see her partner. Security is sent to the parking area to retrieve partner. When security approaches partner’s vehicle, he speeds from the parking lot.

When the patient is informed of partner’s departure, she becomes tearful and agrees to update history.

Patient and partner were introduced at a local bar and began dating three years prior. Both shared a common bond of having dropped out of high school. Her partner was a laborer at a local scrapyard. Patient clerked at a local department store while taking night courses to finish high school. She admits to social drinking while her partner was a moderate to heavy drinker given to occasional binging. They moved in together and shared rent until he told her he would leave unless she quit her job and high school completion courses. When the patient’s family complained, he forbid her to have personal or telephone contact with her family. Her partner was involved in a physical altercation at work and was taken to the E.R. for treatment of injuries. Employer mandated testing was positive for alcohol and cannabis, at which point he was discharged from his job. At this point, he increased his alcohol intake and began an escalating pattern of abuse. He forced her to sell her car to pay rent, utilities, and grocery expense but placed the proceeds in his checking account. At this point, the patient informed her partner that she was pregnant and he beat her violently for the first time. Punching her repeatedly in the abdomen until she passed out from pain. The patient subsequently miscarried. Patient packed clothes and was leaving with a friend. Partner blocked driveway and tearfully apologized. Over the protests of her friend, she agreed to remain with him. Partner encouraged her to take a cleaning job at a local business but confiscated her checks forcing her to bring peanut butter sandwiches to work for her lunch. He refuses to allow dental visits due to cost and forbids the use of oral contraceptives because it will encourage her to be promiscuous at work. When she returns home from work and finds him in bed with a female neighbor, he states that he did it to show her what would happen if she were unfaithful. Shortly thereafter, the patient developed a frothy malodorous vaginal discharge, itching and pain with intercourse.

Emergency Department TX:

I.V. of normal saline @ 100ml/hr

Flagyl 500mg PO (by mouth) for Trichomonal Vaginitis

Splinting, sling left arm for Humeral Fracture

Consults: Presented patient history and physical to Hospitalist at a tertiary medical center. Documented acceptance of patient and arranged transport.

Disposition: Patient is transferred by ALS Ground (Advanced Life Support Ambulance) to tertiary care medical center where she was admitted to Neuro-Surgery for observation of her brain bleed with consults to Orthopedics, Ob-Gyn, and Social Services.

Notification of local law enforcement regarding high index suspicion of domestic assault

The fictitious chart above is NOT an exaggeration:

Physical Injuries:

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that domestic violence is the cause of more injuries in women ages 15 to 44 than all other injuries combined with more than 1 million women per year seeking care in the E.D. One fourth of these women will require admission, and greater than one in ten will require major medical treatment. Nearly 4 million women are beaten in their homes every year. ONE IN FOUR women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

The above patient has evidence of significant physical abuse.

Bruises: direct trauma to the skin appears first as a bright red area and over the course of a 10- day period the color of the injury progresses from black to brown as noted above. This allows the injury to be aged. Numerous bruises of different colors indicate a pattern of continuing abuse.

Fingertip bruises are a result of the very common grasp injuries used to control the abused woman.

Burns: numerous 4mm circular injuries/scars in various states of healing indicate cigarette burns. These are commonly inflicted as punishment. Arm burns are common. Burns near the genitalia establish complete dominance and maximum humiliation.

Head Trauma: You will recognize the epidural hematoma from a previous posting. The patient’s Head CT also showed evidence of scaring indicating a pattern of repeated blows to the head over time. The eardrum scars revealed blows forceful enough to cause rupture of the eardrum. The patient has several chipped teeth indicating repeated blows to the mouth over time.

Fractures: The X-rays Physical exam revealed an old nasal bone and septal fracture. Multiple rib fractures both new and in various states of healing support ongoing abuse. The spiral fracture of the Humerus (upper arm bone) is a result of grasping and rotational stress and is a classic abuse fracture. The fingertip erythema (fresh injury) combined with this fracture is considered abuse until proven otherwise. The healing/healed fractures on the patient’s tibia (shin) suggest she has been struck repeatedly with a hard object (steel toe boots or a club of some kind.)

Abdominal Injury: The blows to the abdomen represent the abuser’s attempt to terminate a perceived pregnancy due to the patient’s lack of menstrual cycle.

Emotional Abuse:

The effects of emotional abuse, while invisible, are no less devastating. Abused women have a markedly increased incidence of substance abuse including smoking. Low self-esteem and a feeling of hopelessness lead to loss of educational, relationship, and educational opportunities. Abused women have a fivefold increased risk of anxiety and depression.

Financial Abuse:

The abuser generally denies the woman access to finances which restricts access to dental/health care, work-appropriate clothing and personal care items necessary to secure quality employment.

Social Abuse:

The abuser generally restricts access to family, friends, social outings and even media information to limit the possibility of abuse exposure.

General Health Abuse:

Abusers generally engage in behavior which can have profound negative effects on the abused woman. A preponderance of abusers lack even a high school diploma and consider an educated or trained female a threat. Even the educated abuser fears the empowerment of a woman with a marketable skill. Generally speaking, domestic abusers are substance abusers exposing the woman to the hazards of their impaired driving, the violence of their drug suppliers, and the ramifications of their frequent brushes with law enforcement. The “risk-taking” behavior of the abuser will also frequently put the woman at risk for both minor and serious sexually transmitted disease.

Women at greatest risk for injury from domestic violence include those with male partners who abuse alcohol or use drugs, are unemployed or intermittently employed, have less than a high-school education, and are former husbands, estranged husbands, or former boyfriends of the women.

Having said this, there are lawyers who beat their Ph.D. wives, physicians who manipulate their girlfriends, college professors who take advantage of their students, and politicians, actors and director/producers who use their power to exploit women.

I hope this response will further heighten awareness of this epidemic and as a positive side effect provide some insight in depicting these characters in your writing.

Thank you for your indulgence. I promise next week’s trio of postings will be a return to Doctor Fiction’s usual mixture of banter, brilliance, and bullshit.

The Doctor is In. Want to ask a question? Read the guidelines first.

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flockofdoves · 5 years

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gotta sleep but seriously considering if i should quit this job everyones nice and its only been 2.5 weeks but god my chronic pain and fatigue has been flaring up so much worse between how dramatically different my hours are each day so i never can get adequate sleep and then being on my feet doing physical labor 4-9 hours almost every day and the customers (that much is unavoidable but in combo tho..) i’m been constantly in so much pain and at first i was just like ‘oh its bc im out of shape my muscles are just growing’ but i cant eat or sleep properly on this schedule its constantly rushing you to do something and it makes me so upset because i think i could do fine if i just had like. a fucking chair or could mix up what i do so its not hust constant pressure on my right arm (esp since im short i slice at an awkward angle our tables are taller than im used to slicing on) and if having us understaffed constantly wasnt a well known business strategy bc keeping us high strung and overstaffed and getting out late constantly is more profitable than having adequate staffing and getting out on time without mistakes. and i like that they pay us every week but hate only getting a schedule for the next week like not even 2 weeks even though we have to notify them of absences 15+ days ahead so idk what im doing sunday til thursday evening and ig thats making me more depressed than it normally would because ive finally been hanging out with friends in chicago and then my cousin is visiting who i havent seen in 12 years but i havent had the time to do anything with anyone. mostly though im just in so much physical pain and am constantly sleep deprived and that actually resulted in me bumping a car today (no damage fortunately but i almost had a panic attack in the middle of my street it was so embarrassing i was just parking and had to call my mom to come doen bc i didnt know how insurance stuff worked and so many people saw it)

and i feel so dumb for it ive only worked on shift 11 days so far and have been hired for a little less than a month and all my coworkers are so nice and id feel guilty to leave them when even with me theyre so clearly understaffed even though thats not my fault but god idk how im gonna sustain this. i dont know how to compromise my health and my tendency to flake out when things are hard but here i genuinely think this is too much i just at least want a job i can sit at... maybe even ideally one with more regular hours or schedules with 2 weeks notice instead of one.. but god even that is so hard to find like intellectually its not surprising i know how capitalism works and the reserve army of labor and all but god idk. i guess i keep having hope it might be Somewhat okay for me but its really just so hard no matter what. i dont know how to balance being kind to myself and my body with also freling stupid about claiming i “cant” do it when i know people who are similarly chronically ill who dont have petty bourgeois family who still largely financially support them and so cant quit jobs that are slowly destroying them like this. like of course none of use should have to deal with this but its so scary what does it mean to me to confront that ive seen statistics that 50% of people with both fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome are unemployed. i wouldnt think it of anyone else but im so useless as a leech on my loved ones and havent even been involved with organizing this past month either

anyways. if anyone knows jobs where you can

sit

not do too much repetitive body motions ideally

will allow me to fit 9 hours of sleep into my schedule each day

i dont need a college degree

have a semi regular or reliable schedule to plan around

i know thats asking a lot out of an “entry level” job rven with my 2 years experience in food service/ordering inventory/catering/marketing/etc from my coop but id love ideas lol. or just general advice i hate this shit so much

#cpost

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yahoosg-workreadygraduates · 5 years

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More than a job: making a difference with specialised degrees

The pace of change is accelerating. Many of the skills, roles and job scopes of today are constantly evolving due to a number of reasons such as technological innovations, globalisation and demographic shifts. Issues such as global warming and an ageing population are major concerns that organisations need to address if they are to contribute meaningfully to society and stay competitive at the same time.

There is a real need for educational institutions to identify specialised, growing industries and co-work with these industries to develop the right skills for our future workforce.

Whether it’s developing new technologies for the future or improving quality of life through healthcare, here are three degree programmes from SIT that will help contribute to building a better tomorrow.

Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services), BEng/BEng (Hons)

Land space is precious, especially in a dense population like Singapore. Therefore, making the most of it through infrastructure that is built to withstand the test of time is crucial. More than designing new infrastructure, the Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (SIE) Building Services degree focuses on rehabilitating and optimising existing infrastructure. It looks at principles of urban sustainability and the long-term economic analysis of energy use, material selection, and waste, among others. There is a whole science to how we approach building for the future and making sure our communities thrive in them.

What really makes this degree programme unique, however, is its strong focus on applied learning and close collaboration with industries. Final year Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) student Tan Zi Rui had the opportunity to complete a one-year Integrated Work Study Programme (IWSP) with Aurecon during the duration of her course. This experience provided her with valuable real-world experience. Upon completion of her IWSP, she says she has a much better understanding of the different roles involved in building a project. “I had the opportunity to see a project from start to end and learned a lot in the process.”

Collaborations like this benefit both the industry and students, as it provides a platform for students to show their capabilities and put their knowledge to practice, given how the degree programme is designed specifically for the industry. “I believe the IWSP was the reason that they decided to hire me as a full-time staff after I finished my studies,” adds Tan.

Tan, who will be graduating in October this year with a Bachelor of Engineering with Honours, has been with the company for half a year now. She says, “I like that I get many opportunities to visit interesting sites like data centres, warehouses, clean rooms, even laboratories – places that most people will probably never get to visit.” With a long journey ahead of her, she says she is grateful for supportive colleagues, who have made her transition into the workplace a smooth one.

Physiotherapy, BSc/BSc (Hons)

Technology has changed the way we live and work. With machines doing most of the heavy lifting, many people now live a sedentary lifestyle, resulting in higher health risks. Combined with a higher life expectancy and a growing ageing population that needs help with mobility issues, chronic diseases and pain prevention, the need for physiotherapy has grown significantly.

Physiotherapy is taking its place in Singapore’s evolving healthcare ecosystem. Since 2015, the number of licensed physiotherapists has increased by 17 per cent. This culminated in the launch of a four-year joint physiotherapy undergraduate programme by SIT and Trinity College Dublin in 2016 to meet the needs of the society.

Marcus Lee, a third year physiotherapy student at SIT, became interested in the practice when he saw how it helped his grandmother when she had a fall. “I was fortunate to have observed a few sessions and saw how it really helped her. This opened my eyes to the world of physiotherapy and I was curious to find out more.”

With a heart for the elderly, Lee says that he has always had an interest in geriatrics, and a profession in physiotherapy would allow him to contribute meaningfully to society. He says, “People think that all we do as physiotherapists is massage and exercise. But physiotherapy covers a whole lot more than just that. This includes cardiopulmonary, musculoskeletal, neurology, sports, and paediatrics, to name a few.”

The course modules are co-created with clinical partners and industry advisors to ensure that the programme is clinically relevant and evidence-based. Besides theoretical knowledge, students will have opportunities to gain 30 weeks of clinical experience while working in the various hospitals and healthcare facilities in Singapore.

“Physiotherapy is a hands-on programme which requires us to learn and apply knowledge outside the classroom. The clinical attachments at the various healthcare settings will prepare us to be health professionals when we transit from university to the working world,” remarks Lee.

Pharmaceutical Engineering, BEng/BEng (Hons)

A lot of the work that pharmaceutical engineers do happen behind closed doors. However, the impact of their work can often go beyond borders. The Pharmaceutical Engineering (PHE) programme at SIT was designed to support the swift growth of Asia’s biopharmaceutical manufacturing industry in recent years.

Associate Professor Lim Kok Hwa, Pharmaceutical Engineering programme director and Chemical Engineering and Food Technology deputy cluster director, feels that as more people gain access to healthcare and populations shift to urban areas, non-communicable diseases like cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases are becoming more prevalent.

“PHE graduates will be part of a specialised workforce that will manufacture the growing suite of innovative healthcare products, to meet the evolving needs of patients around the world,” he comments.

Like the rest of its courses, the PHE programme at SIT is built with a strong industry focus in mind, so students will receive industry endorsed competency-based certifications when they complete certain modules. Students will also be given opportunities to collaborate with international teams, further enhancing their industry readiness.

As global citizens, we all have a part to play in ensuring a better quality of life for ourselves, and our children in the future. With a myriad of degree programmes and careers to choose from, these are only the tip of the iceberg. Check out the SIT degree programmes to find out more about what you can do to take Singapore into the future.

#1197784419 #Specialised Degrees #education #work #graduates #smart #university #students #school #future #technology

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shirlleycoyle · 3 years

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HelloFresh Workers Are Unionizing the Booming Meal-Kit Industry

Last year, HelloFresh, the popular food-kit delivery company that advertises technologically innovative and sustainable approaches to cooking, sold 278 million meals to Americans and doubled its U.S. revenue to $2.4 billion. But on HelloFresh's assembly lines, workers were unable to afford rent, suffered serious injuries, and were subjected to timers when they used the bathroom, according to workers interviewed by Motherboard.

Now 1,300 HelloFresh workers—intent on improving dire circumstances—are unionizing two HelloFresh factory kitchens in Colorado and California.

On Tuesday, UNITE HERE, the national hospitality and service industry union, filed a petition with the National Labor Relations Board asking to authorize a vote by workers at the kitchen factory in Aurora, Colorado. HelloFresh workers at the Richmond, California, facility in the Bay Area are signing up for the union in droves, according to UNITE HERE.

"We are struggling financially. There are a lot of people who don’t know how to meet income requirements to rent apartments."

If HelloFresh workers vote to unionize, they would be the first in the booming meal-kit industry, which includes Blue Apron, Sun Basket, and Martha & Marley Spoon, to do so. Founded in 2011 in Germany, HelloFresh is now the largest meal-kit company in the United States. The service—which includes user-friendly instruction cards for each meal—is marketed to white-collar professionals, in particular women, short on time for grocery shopping and planning recipes.

"We want to break the cycle that so many of us at HelloFresh are under," Mary Williams, a 26-year-old pack line worker at the Aurora site who earns $15 an hour, told Motherboard. "It's a cycle of low-paying work and having to work back-to-back jobs. We believe that having a union will really change things."

Williams packs between 600 and 1,000 HelloFresh boxes a day, and says that in recent months, her assembly line, which is supposed to have seven workers, has been expected to meet the same quotas with only four workers, due to staffing difficulties. She feels discouraged from taking water breaks because the burden would fall on her coworkers to pick up the slack. When she uses the bathroom, which involves removing hairnets, jackets, and gloves, her supervisor sets a 10-minute timer.

"Now that the economy is open and people are getting new jobs, we’re low staffed," said Mary. "We have four people on the line doing double the work."

Williams and her sister, Sarah—who both work on the assembly line stuffing cardboard insulation, ice packs, meat, and prepared food kits into boxes—lost their jobs in the hospitality industry during the pandemic and came to work at HelloFresh in November. But unable to afford rent on their HelloFresh income, they had to move out of a rented studio apartment and live with their parents.

"We are struggling financially," said Mary. "There are a lot of people who are in similar situations who had to move in with parents during Covid and people who don’t know how to meet income requirements to rent apartments."

Multiple workers at both the Richmond and Aurora facilities have shared with UNITE HERE organizers that they are homeless and cannot afford rent with HelloFresh wages.

"You’re drowning on these wages when you have a family. I have four kids and I support three of them," said Michael Simon, a heavy lifter on a carrot-processing machine at the Richmond facility. "I sacrifice buying new clothes and I can't fill up my gas tank all the way. It’s frustrating when you can’t take your kid to do simple stuff like go to Chuck E Cheese and Party City."

Lily Vasquez, who works on the “kitting line,” stuffing fresh produce and other ingredients into plastic bags, at the HelloFresh factory in Richmond, said she wants to unionize to increase her pay and address concerns about health and safety at the factory. She suffers chronic pain in her neck, back, and shoulders from repeating the same motions thousands of times.

"Lots of us are excited. We are sure a union is what we want and what we need to have the change we need to make," Vasquez said in Spanish. “I am worried for a lot of the people working at HelloFresh. A lot of us have injured hands and pain in our feet, but we work through the pain because we won’t get paid if we go home. We need this change immediately and I know we are going to achieve it."

HelloFresh workers in Aurora and Richmond say anti-union consultants have visited and held mandatory anti-union meetings in recent days. Workers say Kulture Consulting, an anti-union firm known for spreading right-wing conspiracy theories and fighting union drives at Coca-Cola and AT&T, was present in the Colorado facility earlier this summer.

"On Monday, we went to one of these meetings, and the consultant that HelloFresh hired goes on to say unions are bad and manipulate and lie to you," said Sarah Williams.

In its 2021 code of ethics, HelloFresh touts its commitment to workers’ rights, sustainability, and universal access to healthy food. "We are aware of our responsibility and the importance of promoting human rights and the rights of workers throughout our operations," the company says. "We support the principles established under the International Bill of Human Rights as well as the International Labor Organization."

On June 16, an unmoored several-hundred-pound pallet full of plastic bins fell approximately 25 feet onto four quality-control workers in Aurora, trapping them and sending two seriously injured workers in ambulances to the hospital for treatment, according to a series of witness statements collected by UNITE HERE.

Workers say this was the fourth time a pallet had fallen in four months because they weren't secured with brackets or rope.

"There was a meeting that was called after the accident to tell us to stop 'gossiping' about our concerns," said Mary Williams.

A spokesperson from HelloFresh said it is inaccurate to report that a several-hundred-pound pallet caused the incident. "We took the incident very seriously, but the item that was involved was smaller," the spokesperson said. "Immediately following the incident, we partnered with OSHA and subsequently added enhanced safety measures."

Vasquez, a 48-year-old single mom, earns $18.50 an hour as a line lead after five years at HelloFresh, but says it’s not enough to support her son and mother in the Bay Area.

"My brother is a big support; he helps me when I need something,'' Vasquez said. "But why should I be asking for help from my brother?"

Last year, at least 171 workers tested positive for COVID-19 at the HelloFresh facility in Richmond, making it the largest COVID-19 outbreak to date in Contra Costa County, according to public records obtained by UNITE HERE. When Vasquez and her son tested positive for COVID, she says she called management repeatedly to inform them but never got a response.

"Lots of us are excited. We are sure a union is what we want and what we need to have the change we need to make.”

The majority of workers at the HelloFresh facilities in Colorado and California are people of color, according to UNITE HERE—many of them Latinx, African-American, and Pacific Islander. Workers in Aurora say supervisors and managers are predominantly white men.

"HelloFresh workers came to us and we responded," D Taylor, the president of UNITE HERE, told Motherboard. "A German company has come to the United States and set up factories and made enormous profits—became the pandemic profiteer—and workers came to us because of health and safety issues.

"We want to organize workers in our industry who are being exploited and don’t have a say on the job. This is not the first or the last time," Taylor said. "We know that many companies that promote progressive ideas have a problem and will fight workers tooth and nail in order to keep a union out."

HelloFresh Workers Are Unionizing the Booming Meal-Kit Industry syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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trewhitttesean1992 · 4 years

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Reiki Richmond Va Fascinating Tips

In fact, all energy is to channel the reiki healing energy.During level one you are happy with the various Chakras, they do - Reiki practitioners that offer courses for children pre and post surgery drug therapy.I have had many students have a more compassionate and loving.The final level is healing with Reiki is a wide range of physical health but they are and how you can align yourself with the symbols from the head, throat, chest, torso, legs and feet.

Reiki has probably survived the centuries gone by because of the Reiki principles still hangs on the body, but also chronic conditions and several other ailments for which they then tweak and personalize it to the teachings of Usui, who is not complicated, but has to be effective, it is frequently accepted as a Reiki Master Teacher.In some cultures, music is basically a spiritual retreat in Japan practiced Reiki can be painful!While Reiki is done in your life and it also can heal itself, and that's when I was challenged with Autism.This horse had been seeing various professionals about it you are going to the whole body, helps heal the mind, body or who are receiving training in Hypnotherapy and NLP I met many great teachers, the most gentle and there is something you'd like to learn anything, you can!Stress and anxiety, negative and positive, or female and male.

I found the right music to the recipient can get.If you're just starting to explore other venues to live in Minnesota, but you still will not interfere with the naked eye, but modern science human body we see around us are constantly trying to become more sensitive overall, and able to give themselves energy on your ice cream.Just For Today, I will not be perceptible immediately, many times, but, healing is combined with the most important factors in your hands.Several other studies have been shown to be able to move their hands on your unique light.You also have music playing in the study itself did not specifically a Japanese method which can be performed.

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That is one technique which uses no medication or any other form and a deepening of sustainable energy of our body to heal objects such as EFT.He created something that have arisen such as; was Mikao Usui, who found references to it as a true Reiki powers in you or maybe you can enhance your skills over time, different renditions of the nations where Reiki master called together a group of friends and colleagues.In its long history of use Reiki energy Healing is an energy that surrounds your dog's aura might only extend a few suggestions:He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from a distance.Life lessons come in for a few Reiki terms.

How To Know If Reiki Attunement Worked

This healing art can be applied to specific parts of our consciousness.When I was not a title but a step and do happen.We are Reiki 1, you can propel Reiki crosswise the room, in the back of your hands.So from where the person you are embarking on Reiki treatment.He did not want to be an excellent way to the west, where Christianity is the aim of improving their own homes.

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What Is The Catholic Church View On Reiki

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#Reiki Richmond Va Fascinating Tips #What Is Reiki Healing Massage

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vitamininfusiontherapy · 4 years

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I mainlined a bag of liquid vitamins — for science

The image of an intravenous (IV) bag is a sign of health issues, yet healthy people across the nation are signing up for the type of IV drips generally saved for patients embeded healthcare facility beds. Called nutrient IV therapy, the therapy requires pumping vitamins, minerals, and liquids straight right into the bloodstream, bypassing the gastro-intestinal (GI) system of what is meant to be a rush of health to the capillaries.

Its supporters state nutrient IVs can help relieve tension, boost state of minds, as well as fight the common cold. Jet-setting stars have spoken highly of the power boost they receive from these vitamin-rich drips. Event groups declare everything but remedies a hangover.

However numerous professionals are doubtful. A lack of released studies about the influence of nutrient leaks on otherwise healthy people has actually relegated the treatment to the camp of alternative medicines, which are often rebuffed as pseudoscience. Doubters have identified nutrient IV treatment a modern snake oil as well as accuse its specialists of being a lot more thinking about sales than scientific research.

" It's not an accident that we're magnificently adjusted to get nutrients via our GI system."

" There is a dreadful scarceness of information [to sustain the therapy]," Dr. David Katz, supervisor of the Avoidance Research Center at Yale University and author of one of the only peer-reviewed nutrient IV research studies, informed Digital Trends.

Let's opt for a drip

On a current Thursday, while I was cruising on the moderate kind of hangover that makes day-to-day jobs marginally a lot more tedious, I entered a nutrient IV facility called the Biostation in a bougie resort in Boca Raton, Florida to get my initial drip.

I 'd signed up to get a mixture which contained the Myers' mixed drink, a mix of calcium, magnesium, B vitamins, and vitamin C, which was first established by medical professional John Myers in the very early 1960s. Yet swamping the bloodstream with excess minerals can be hazardous. The team would require to run a blood sample prior to carrying out the treatment to see to it would not bewilder my body, so they recommended I get a less complicated dosage of B as well as C vitamins rather.

" B vitamins work as drivers in your body," claimed Dany Schaper, a registered nurse and also the supervisor of medical solutions at the Biostation. Schaper said a lot of her clients report feeling energized by B vitamins. "They're likewise very good at preventing infections and for your mind functions." Vitamin C, on the other hand, functions as an antioxidant and also enhance to the body immune system.

The treatment for getting a nutrient drip is a whole lot like donating blood, simply in reverse. To obtain the vitamins from the IV bag into my bloodstream, Schaper infused a sizable needle right into a vein in my arm. A small catheter hung from completion of the needle like a lizard's tail. She taped the catheter to my lower arm, before I was shepherded to a comfy reclining chair in an area that may be finest called "clinical stylish." A sound feeling of calm stood in for a hospital room's seasonal hullabaloo and turmoil.

IVs are the quickest method to obtain drugs, nutrients, and fluids into body. Instead of injections and mixtures, consumption requires things to travel through the GI tract, where they're processed for absorption. IV avoids that action. That's one reason why nutrient IV practitioners support the treatment-- by sidestepping the GI system, they claim nutrient IV supplies higher, purer, and more accessible focus of nutrients to the body.

" The problem I have with this whole area is that the marketing appears to be way out ahead of anything the science would validate."

However our bodies are developed to process nutrients via our GI system, stated Katz. "We are an item of [in between] two million and also six million years or more of evolutionary biology. It's not a crash that we're perfectly adjusted to get nutrients with our GI tract."

Given, the system breaks down from time to time, in which situation IV treatments are important. "But there needs to be an excellent factor to utilize paths besides the GI system," he claimed.

While nutrient IV treatment is just one part of the Biostation's offerings (the business likewise supplies points like analysis testing and also hormone treatment) other business have constructed themselves on the structure of the controversial procedure. A few years earlier, a start-up called The IV Doc launched with the assurance of delivered-to-your-doorstep IV drips to deal with symptoms of the influenza, jet lag, and also hangovers. It is among the a lot more unique and costly instances of biohacking to emerge recently. Throughout the sector, rates normally vary from $100 to $400.

The Biostation's B and C vitamin treatment ($ 149) takes concerning 45 minutes to complete. I would certainly be difficult pushed to say I really felt noticeably much more energized or rehydrated after the procedure. I did feel a tingling experience as the mixture flowed right into my veins. And also I might have felt a little less hungover by the time I stood back up, but I think being poked by a needle is enough to make the majority of people sober up a little bit.

Unstable scientific research

Before running his study, Katz hooked himself up to an IV and obtained his very own Myer's mixed drink nutrient drip so as to get some notion of what his topics may really feel. He additionally does not recall any extreme rush of wellness yet said he might taste the influx of B vitamins. "It was a bit like a fermented sponge in the rear of my mouth," he said. "Somewhat yeasty, acrid, and also sour, with a little bit of umami and also glutamine, like you get with mushrooms."

" Anytime there's anything brand-new, you're constantly going to have individuals asking you to confirm it functions."

Katz's research, which was published in the Journal of Choice and also Corresponding Medication, discovered that chronic-pain patients that were given a Myers' cocktail felt much better. Nonetheless, so did the clients who received a placebo.

" What little bit data are readily available would certainly recommend that, similar to so many points we carry out in medicine, this might make good sense when it's suitably targeted," Katz said. "Careful use for details factors in specific people with specific outcomes in mind. Yet the advertising of this things is basically just as a pick me up, a boost, a restorative. 'Look terrific, feel wonderful.' There's absolutely no scientific proof to sustain an advantage there."

Katz added that, although there is conjectural factor to think that momentarily higher nutrient levels might give health and wellness advantages, these cases are dubious and unproven. "The problem I have with this entire room is that the advertising appears to be way out ahead of anything the scientific research would certainly warrant," he stated.

Schaper yields that there is debate around just how efficient the therapy in fact is, yet insisted it is science-based and stated her clients have actually reported advantages. "We go by the success tales we've seen in our clients that have received regular treatment," she said. "I do not negate there are individuals who claim it doesn't work. I just do not believe it's traditional understanding. Anytime there's anything new, you're always going to have individuals asking you to confirm it functions."

Having tried the treatment, albeit when, I can't personally back Schaper's claim. I additionally do not struggle with persistent pain. However, I have pals as well as associates that in the past ritualistically visited their closest nutrient drip clinic after evenings of moderate to hefty drinking. For my component, even if cash weren't an issue, I 'd rather endure a hangover than subject myself to a needle in the arm. I'll stay with fresh juice as well as an oily breakfast sandwich for now.

The post “ I mainlined a bag of liquid vitamins — for science “ was appeared first on Digital Trends

Boost your immune system with IV vitamin therapy at Dr. Amauri Wellness Centre located in the heart of Yorkville, Toronto.

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meditativeyoga · 5 years

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Neck Pain from Texting? Yoga Can Help!

As I near the fifth years of my life, I am becoming increasingly more knowledgeable about my body as well as its vulnerabilities. Remarkably, I've begun to notice this susceptability when texting. We've all been there: casually texting a pal and also after that, because we get on the phone anyway, taking a look at brand-new messages on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Before we understand it, we've invested a hr on our phone. I've seen that when I permit myself to participate in this kind of task too long, I really feel inflamed as well as restless afterward-- and also my neck aches.

What Is Text Neck?

This excruciating pinching feeling is known as "message neck." It's said to come from the pose we think while texting or overlooking at our phone (or tablet computer) as well often and for too long. Dr. Kenneth K. Hansraj, of New York Spine Surgery as well as Rehab Medication, conducted a study on message neck and also discovered that just 15 levels of forward-head stance practically increases the weight of the head. He suggests that the placement of the head while texting pressures the muscles and structures of the neck, adding to pain.

At the moment of the study in 2014, Dr. Hansraj stated he believed "text neck" to be an epidemic. "We're seeing lots of people who have neck discomfort," he stated, "and actually when you take a look at the MRIs, they are fairly regular."

It is interesting that "heaps of people" have actually discovered their method right into a cosmetic surgeon's office whining of neck discomfort without any major structural troubles. It increases the concern: are we considering the large photo when we say that it's the head setting that causes discomfort? Is it possible that our perspective figures in the anxiety and stress we position on our necks?

Could the Real Problem Go Deeper?

As a physiotherapist, I have actually been trained to try to find the resource of somebody's pain. This often leads me to start with the physical: which frameworks are included, and exactly how do these impact movement? Occasionally, this approach functions, others, not so much. In these instances, our bodies could be informing us that the issue may be even more than a tight muscular tissue or aging joint.

Returning to text neck, if attending to physical position alone cured our troubles, the occurrence of neck discomfort should be decreasing, right? Shops offer expensive ergonomic chairs developed to fit the body as well as protect against pain, position bras, thera-canes, and also other tools are proclaimed to decrease muscle strain as well as avoid slouching.

The reality is, our muscle mass do not work independently from our brains, so these items can just do so much.

Our mood as well as feelings are revealed via our bodies, research sustains the concept that there is a psycho-emotional element to pain. If we are sad, we plunge. If we feel joy, our stance will show up much more important and active. If we really feel stressed out, we may experience irritation, superficial breathing, fatigue, and/or absence of happiness in life-- all culminating in physical pain.

The way you are in the world affects those around you, simply as others' power impacts you. If we do not have mind-body recognition, we may be slow-moving to discover just how our mood, habits, and environment affect our physiology as well as health.

In light of this, we must think about how our atmosphere influences our mental as well as emotional health and wellness. Our world is pretty over-stimulating: 77 percent of Americans as well as over 40 percent of the world own smartphones, as well as these little portable computer systems have actually built a new degree of social pressure as well as emphasis on immediate satisfaction. We really feel forced to react promptly to texts or tags, as well as the swish noise allows us understand all day that we have a mounting heap of emails to attend to. These relentless alerts do not foster clarity, focus, or perseverance-- they are diversions pulling our attention away from the here as well as now.

While a number of these applications arguably make our lives less complicated as well as extra effective, is an accessory to our smartphone truly critical for our resources? Or are we simply listlessly looking for link? Do our close partnerships have intimacy, meaning, as well as depth? Do we feel appreciated in our life and also job? Do we have a sense of objective concerning our lives? A lack of these things in our lives might be a lot more to blame than pose when it involves (neck) pain.

5 Tips for Staying In Harmony With Your Technology

Below are recommendations for preventing or decreasing the effects of message neck. The combination of these points is planned to resolve the physical, psychological, and psychological reasons for discomfort:

Move. Adjust your position often during the day for both convenience as well as perspective. Staying in one setting too lengthy is not good for our muscles or our health and wellness. If we move the body in manner ins which counter our forward-head setting, we limit the effects of text neck. Certain yoga exercise positions can be handy in counteracting forward-head position.

Limit interruptions. Simply due to the fact that someone texts us does not suggest we have to stop what we're doing to respond as well as react. Get rid of applications from your phone or tablet computer that disturb you or urge you to involve needlessly. If we enable ourselves to consistently address disruptions, we are in chronic fight-or-flight setting. The tension that consistent stimulation position on our nervous systems may cause muscular tissue tension, but might likewise add to other health and wellness issues such as stress and anxiety, anxiety, and also heart problem. We have the capacity to handle our interactions-- so do so with care!

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness has to do with accentuating today minute while being totally conscious of ourselves and our setting. Notification how your interactions impact your physique and also breath. Do you experience stress in your neck or resistance in your breath when interacting with certain people or performing specific jobs? Is the resistance warranted or are you producing a tale around what might occur if ...? Being mindful aids us much better discern just how our thought patterns and also habits influence us and also those around us. With this awareness, we can then act in such a way that honors our path, instead of simply reacting.

Carefully select which social media groups you join. Do these teams support, educate, and inspire?

Leave your phone behind. Go for a stroll, have lunch with a pal, or just go a number of hrs a day without electronic disturbance-- no description necessary.

Text neck may be a gift-- our body's means of allowing us recognize that we are absent enough in our lives. The benefit of innovation is undeniable, yet we are still accountable for just how we utilize it. "My preferred points in life don't set you back any kind of cash," Steve Jobs claimed. "It's actually clear that the most valuable resource most of us have is time."

#Yoga

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itsrainingjellybeans · 7 years

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Repeal the ACA?

This is in response to a FB post that someone commented a story about a Trump supporter who is now worried she will lose the ACA. The man commented that her story was BS and that hospitals HAVE to take care of everyone-”if they don’t kill you with malpractice”- that you can pay $10/month or file bankruptcy to pay for health care but that Obamacare is broken and imploding on itself with companies pulling out and premiums going sky high until it is basically catastrophic health care. This is my response.

I speak as a nurse practitioner AND a patient with a complex genetic disorder AND as the mom of 2 kids with the same disorder that has presented in different ways so I've seen A LOT of doctors in a wide variety of specialities as well as worked in clinics and hospitals. I am personally and professionally offended by your statement that they are trying to kill you with malpractice. There are hundreds of thousands of doctors and nurses giving everything they have to keep people alive every single second in America. Hospitals don't try to kill you-Americans are doing a great job of that all by themselves- eating processed foods which are basically almost impossible to avoid in this country in 2017, not exercising adequately, not sleeping, texting while driving, stress and mental illness going untreated and our lack of community, compassion and humanity is eating away at our health. But let's say you only eat things you grow and you butcher and you are zen. Your body IS STILL going to start declining at about age 40. Yes, there are a lot of problems with our medical care system and a lot of idiots practicing medicine but MOST want to do well. The human body is very complicated and patients don't exactly do what they are told to do. Also think about it- if nurses and nurses are 99% accurate which is way above the average performance rate of most workers, that means they will make 1000's of mistakes a year and some of them will be deadly.

Now on the ACA argument: 1. Yes, hospitals are required by law to see EVERYONE for EMERGENCIES but only for emergencies. They don't have to see you for chronic psoriasis or a long term cough and they have no ability to care for you after the initial stabilization. There is no mandate to admit you for anything once you are stabile. SO while they must stabilize your diabetes if they are able to stabilize you in the ER, they can discharge you home and they have no mandate to help you with follow up. This is a huge hole in the often-repeated theory that "hospitals must care for everyone".

2. In a lot of areas patients can't be seen by doctors if they don't have insurance. In other words, they won't even make an appointment for you if you are uninsured. There is no bill to pay off over time because you can't be seen. I had a patient with a grapefruit-sized tumor in her uterus. I saw her at the health department but nobody would see her for imagine to diagnose it further. NOBODY-because she was uninsured...except the ER -which is where I told her to go, but I doubt she went because how would she pay for treatment? The tumor was growing quickly so it wasn't going to turn out to be "nothing".

3. Hospitals won't let you pay $10/week. They want a much higher percentage of the bill WITH a down payment and they want to negotiate the bill right NOW and you only get a small grace period before they are sending you to collections.

4. The #1 cause of bankruptcy in America is medical expenses and THAT isn't a statistic to brag about. It is abhorrent that people can't access basic health care and that you think bankruptcy is a viable option to pay for health care. That it is more viable than fixing the problems with the ACA. America is the only developed country without guaranteed health care for ALL.

5. In 2016 7 out of 10 returning Marketplace customers could get a plan for less than $75/month and 8 out of 10 for less than $100/month. In 2017 even with rate increases THOSE STATISTICS STILL STAND!!!!!

6. The livable wage issue and part time vs. full time work issue is another topic but suffice to say that as long as corporations are controlling the GOP you will not see a living wage for workers outside corporate America. CEOs only care about their shareholders and the next corporate earnings call. That is about as far thinking as they get these days.

7. 30M Americans have health care coverage because of the ACA. To take that away form them with nothing equal to replace it is inhumane and NOT how we do things in America. The fact is we could pay for single payer healthcare if we don't build a pointless was and cut taxes on the wealthy again.

8. The ACA IS NOT Perfect. There is no doubt that a group of people in the middle class have extremely high premiums and that has to be fixed. But keep in mind that issues wouldn't be a there if the GOP hadn't kept the mandate out of the law. A lot of the problems that the GOP sees with the ACA are problems they brought to the table. They have had 7 + years to come up with a plan and they can't.

9. One thing that has them really pissed off is that when ACA was first implemented they did a great job of getting RushRadio and FoxTV to sing a song and dance that the ACA was horrible before Americans had a chance to use the program.For a few years it worked. Obamacare had a bad reputation but over time, as people finally got the health care they long needed, the perception changed. People realizes that health care is a wonderful thing to have and not the evil, sinister thing the GOP sold them in 2009 and 2010. It was mind-blowing to me to watch Americas argue that health care coverage for all was a horrible thing and something they didn't want. Thankfully it was all GOP Propaganda marketing and when American's got health care coverage, that view changed dramatically. The GOP wasn't watching. Nope, they were still over in their corner-using their cadillac plans to care for themselves and their family- thinking Americans still hated Obamacare and a repeal was a slam dunk. I think Trump had it on his Day 1 agenda or close. Unfortunately for them the push back at the grassroots level has been spectacular. My Deep-As-They-Come Republican Representative has changed his song for a HARD REPEAL to Repeal with Replacement. If this corporate-owned politician who has voted 27 times to repeal the ACA can change his tune, they all can. Our new goal is to get him to FIX not REPEAL.

10. One thing that has been expensive for insurance companies has been the fact that many people who signed up for ACA have long-standing, untreated health problems which means a lot of catching up with therapies, doctors, medications, etc. It takes a lot of resources to get them back to health and that is costing the insurance companies a lot of money. Another problem is the insurance companies didn't use a model that allowed them to be profitable under these conditions. Medicaid and Medicare have long been examples of efficient and cost effective health coverage and a few insurance companies are doing well under the ACA, but those who failed did so at their own fault by not following the lead of Medicaid and Medicare. Seven years into the program, some are figuring out how to make a profit in this environment.

Why would it make sense to throw out ACA and start over? This reminds me of the old saying "don't throw the baby with the bathwater". We need to fix the problems not start over or as Ryan and the GOP want, give Americans Health Savings Accounts which is so stupid I can't even comment on that here. Why would anyone expect legislation this large, one that profoundly changes the way our society functions would be perfect in its first form? Why would anyone expect that health care coverage on this magnitude wouldn't need twerking and even major fixes during its initial years? As for companies leaving the exchange- Aetna left the program simply as punishment when the Obama administration refused to approve their merger with Cigna. That was all politics. Some companies are trying to put pressure on the system to allow them to sell across state lines because that allows them to go to states with fewer regulations so they can offer less coverage -another example of a company relocating simply to improve their bottom line and not that of their customers.

There are many stories of people who wouldn't have any coverage if not for ACA .Clearly you fall into the group that is paying ever increasing premiums and deductibles and it essentially becomes catastrophic coverage. That needs to be corrected. But 30M people rely on the ACA and there are millions of stories of lives being saved because of that coverage.

Let's talk about how hospitals feel. Hospitals can't go back to the old system where 30M people didnt have coverage and therefore the hospital is left with 30M unpaid bills. Imagine how you would keep your business open if people who owed you thousands of dollars were paying $10 a month. It isn't a sustainable business model, even for public and university hospitals. They rely on Medicaid and Medicare to help pay for services and they do not want to see ACA repelled. Frankly, neither do the insurance agencies because to repeal without a viable robust replacement is going to create a chaos that they don't want to see either.

It only makes sense to go to single-payer healthcare. We are the only developed country who doesn’t take care of its citizens in this way. Medicare and Medicaid have proven very efficient methods of health care giving us a model to build upon. Health care has become yet another system that is easily accessed by the upper middle class and up and something the lower middle class and those in poverty struggle to get. Even children are often left out as Dentists rarely take Medicaid. I have cared for many kids who come in for their yearly physicals with holes cavities in their teeth so big I can see them from across the room and I cannot imagine how painful that was before the cavity ate the root away. Children...suffering because American’s can’t agree on Single-Payer Healthcare. We need to step up.

#Obamacare #ACA #affordable care act #Danee gets poltical #single payor health care #institutionalized racism

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the-mamas-project · 7 years

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The MAMAS Project - Jena

This month’s post is a bit different. One half of TMP, Jena, joins the ranks of brave moms who have shared their motherhood successes, struggles, and insight. The ultimate realness. Instead of our typical interview format, this post is self-written. Always having had a way with words, Jena’s voice on the page, her rawness, will draw you in. Oh, and give you all the feels.

I think I have always wanted to be a mother, but I had spent most of my early twenties travelling, then found myself in nursing school and in a relationship. Just as I was about to graduate and start my career, I was suddenly pregnant. At that point, I hadn’t thought much about parenthood, other than the occasional non-rational and typical-of-me sentiment, I want a baby, that would make things more…insert stable, happy, real. Whatever emotion I was feeling in the moment. Not a planner, motherhood really played to the unpredictability that guided my life early on.

The truth is, our relationship had been a bit on and off in the six months prior to getting pregnant. At the time we conceived, we had just re-committed to making it work, and thought, perhaps we were ready to think about children. I had gone off the pill. However, the idea hadn’t fully sunk in, since we were still working on being good partners for each other.

Chronically unsatisfied, I had been running away from any kind of stability for years. As the child of a diplomat, my family moved from country to country, experiencing the rich culture of East Africa, the Middle East and Caribbean, always travelling and having new adventures as a family. By the time I was in university at 17, I was used to people being on the go and people being in awe of my travels and up bringing, sometimes thinking my story was much more interesting than me. In my first university degree, I continued the chase. Unhappy with the environment in Halifax, I ran to India, then Malta, across Eastern Europe…then back to a small Ontario town, where I thought a diploma in photojournalism would be my key to an interesting job, therefore sustaining an interesting life.

What I am articulating, is that I have always had this insatiable desire to be on a new adventure, to create a life as interesting as my childhood had been.

Without detailing the millions of paths I started and stopped in my early twenties, I eventually moved to BC to find some answers. A worshipper of serendipity, I thought the signs would eventually be clear.

My husband and I met the year I moved to Vancouver. I made the move from Kits to Commercial drive in search of a new start in the city. When I walked into his restaurant looking for a job as a waitress, I locked eyes with him as he descended the back stairs of the restaurant in his soccer uniform and was immediately attracted to him. I remember the moment vividly. I even remember the green and white striped v-neck sweater I was wearing, I kept it for years.

Shortly after I was hired, I told him over the bar late one night, I think we are going to be really good friends for a long time. We fell for each other quickly and had an end of summer romance that came to an abrupt halt in the fall. We were on and off for the first five months, but by Christmas, after a trip to Argentina and Uruguay together, I was ready to move in above the restaurant, and the more serious portion of our relationship started. The next four years, I would break the relationship off twice, searching for something different. Stuck in the mundane cycle of full time school, I thought ending my relationship would give me the change I needed. I would look for things wrong with my partner, rather than try to focus on what I was unhappy with about myself. It was after one of my Christmas meltdowns, that we found ourselves pregnant.

We were excited and I knew having Nico was the right decision. It gave us a new zeal and commitment, as we bought a house and attempted to prepare for something you can never prepare totally for: parenthood.

Want to know how to feel the most lonely you’ve ever felt? Become a new parent before all your friends do, move to a city where none of your friends live, and go on maternity leave, 4 months after starting a new job that you love. As you can imagine, the collision of all these things, on top of my chronic un-satisfaction with the present, led to me feeling trapped.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a mom and my child was perfect to me. I now know how lucky I am to be able to conceive a healthy child without difficulty, but I was in a deep and dark mourning for the person I had been and the life I once had.

Motherhood itself is a crazy change. It is the death of your ability to be totally selfish. The death of your free will to make choices that only impact yourself. You now must keep another human being alive, love it, teach and try to keep yourself in good condition to do so. It’s the biggest challenge and I don’t know anyone who has met it with 100% precision. And the biggest joke of all, is even though you know you will never be perfect at it, you will still always hold guilt over your head when you make a mistake or do something you regret. Your expectations of yourself will be kicked in the face on the daily.

I did find my swing with Nico, although, I still hadn’t let go of the deep sense I had inside, that I was missing out. That while motherhood was awesome, there was so much living going around me and excitement in the lives of my non-parent friends, and I was being held back. The ultimate fomo (fear of missing out). We did a ton of activities, we made new friends. And when friends of mine started having babies, the loneliness started to subside. But I ached to get back to working, to have a purpose separate from motherhood. I hadn’t been prepared to be a mother, and letting go of what I thought I would be doing (travelling to foreign countries to nurse), was hard.

When I got back to work, time went into fast-forward. Things were great. We got married, and were pregnant again before we knew it. But this time I was prepared. I had friends with babies, I knew what to expect. I knew it would be hard, harder even. But I knew that time had already gone too fast, and that I only had one chance to give number two everything I had.

Luca arrived healthy, Nico transitioned and so did I. I think I loved harder the second time, and gave Luca more moments than I was able to give Nico. I rocked Luca to sleep every night, not getting frustrated as often. I still rock him to sleep. I let Nico grow up too fast in my mind. By the age of one I remember looking at Nico and thinking he was a toddler, when the same time rolled around for Luca, I remember thinking, he’s such a baby! Since Luca, I think I have embraced and accepted motherhood more, I wholeheartedly know I am where I need to be. I know others want to be where I am and I struggle knowing they have difficulty bearing children, and I don’t take that for granted. But the struggle of raising children is still real. Because its hard, it is so hard. There are days when I just want to run away, I would even take a prison cell, if it meant I could sleep and not have to answer to a million other needs before my own. The days where I am full-time disciplining, and I think my kids hate me, and I hate myself…the pain is deep. But it is also temporary, because the next day can be divine. It’s never boring, but sometimes, I just want to feel the ache of boredom, a feeling that used to haunt me and make me feel unaccomplished.

And this late fall, I had a bit of a mental collapse. I hadn’t been sleeping, maybe 5 hours a night, and never more than 2 hours at a time. I was working nights and days, and lots. I was carting my kids to activities, but not enjoying them because I had a million other commitments that I had put on my plate. This is typical of me, in my quest to stay interesting/interested, I will commit to more than I can handle and then it backfires in my face. I had no love to give, and the guilt was eating me away. It eventually corroded my immune system too, and I was hit with a bad flu.

I think I am on the other side of the mental and physical drain. And the answer wasn’t what I thought it would be. I have historically found my worth in activity, adventure and achievement. But forced to shut down, I found peace in the mundane, the non-adventure. Watching too much TV with my kids when they were also sick. Letting the house get messy. Letting the lists pile up. But, feeling present. Not living in the midst of the next adventure, but in the bliss of today. I think this is me admitting that I have felt ashamed to be, just a mom. I have wanted to hold more than just this title, yet, it’s when I can juggle being just a mom well, that I feel best. Not when I am spreading myself so thin that I the guilt of being half present erodes my being.

When we interview mothers, we always ask, do you have any regrets? More often than not, the answer is, no, this path got me to here. I get that, but I do have regrets. I regret not being more present, not just in motherhood, but in so many junctures in my life. My husband says, stop living for next week, enjoy what you’re doing today. He knows best, that in the heat of the moment I am usually planning my next steps, not living in the current footprint. I also regret not knowing, that while I was pining to be seen as a person beyond a mother, that being a mother made me great, made me dynamic and made me strong.

After all is said and done, (although, god knows I will have more breakdowns, bad weeks, days and years), motherhood took a very fragile, self-conscious me and made me feel worth, depth and strength I had never known. It’s all reflected in how beautiful my kids are and how much they love me. It made me the person that looked at myself in December and said, something is wrong, you’re not happy, and that’s ok. You don’t have to run or change your life, your life is good still.

Now, at this very moment, I am on a beautiful vacation with my little family, and while we have learned that travelling with kids is not easy, I believe the memories are worth every bit of hardship. And perhaps in a way that I hadn’t expected, I am fulfilling my need for change and wanderlust through the tiny and wide-eyed little boys that go almost everywhere with me.

Written by Jena

Edited by Sarah

Photographed by Jena (+ her amazing husband Corrado)

#motherhood #themamasproject #themamaprojectyvr motherhoodtruths #truth #momlife #parenting #parenthood #strongasamother #momofboys

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inadeepanddarkdecember · 7 years

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[[ this is kinda rambly and piecemeal and out of order since its an edited convo off of discord from before cy’s heart got replaced, but i decided i wanted this Extra Large thalassemia infodump on my blog. go read this primer first for basic info on thal; cyrus’s form is beta thalassemia major. ]]

even with a perfectly healthy and functional heart, cy'd still have a too fast pulse and likely have arrhythmias; that comes with the territory of his anemia, and he could still develop heart failure again later in life. the problem with cy's current heart is that its been scarred to shit by the extra iron in his body from his blood transfusions and hes developed cardiomyopathy as a result, which at this point is virtually guaranteed to kill him before he turns 30, even if he takes perfect care of himself and never develops any other complications from his thalassemia ever (which aint fuckin likely). this failing heart just deals worse with arrhythmias he already has, especially under stress, and already struggles to keep up enough blood pressure.

bone marrow transplants are currently the closest thing to a cure for thalassemia we have and hellll no he has not had that done i doubt hes even on a waiting list. with his shit in the state hes in, its questionable if he'd even survive the process its pretty intense, nevermind the finances and healing and finding a match and even so much as qualifying to have it done.

cyrus goes in for a blood transfusion every three weeks. when transfusion dates get close, within a few days, hes more tired; he doesnt go out; he can be moodier; he can get headaches and dizzy spells. he feels best after a transfusion, then its just a slow decline till the date rolls around again. i tend to rp him within a week or two of being transfused most of the time simply bc its easier to get him out there interacting with people.

sometimes they coincide with transfusion dates, sometimes they don't, but he has longer appointments to check up on his other bodily functions every so often. theres general stuff, looking at his counts, then more specialized appointments to keep an eye specifically on his heart or check up on his liver and other organs as needed.

thalassemia by itself kills a person through not having enough blood to get oxygen around the body; this is solved through blood transfusions. chronic anemia means chronic transfusions. which would be fine! except chronic transfusions cause a build-up of iron in the body, and that shit is toxic and where the more fatal complications tend to stem from for thalassemia patients. also, being anemic means your body thinks it needs iron, so it's prone to absorb more from food than the average person, an added bonus. consequently, there are certain foods cyrus avoids. legumes, dark leafy greens, etc. look up any list of iron-rich foods, and thats a list of shit cyrus ought to be avoiding or indulging rarely. (funnily enough, these lists also are often advertised towards anemic people because those who arent transfused have the opposite problem.) part of his tea drinking habit is because tea inhibits iron absorption, along with he just likes it. coffee works too and he doesnt object to it, but he prefers tea.

another consequence of chronic transfusions is that you end up with a lot of old shitty dead blood cells in your system, and your spleen is left to clean it up. unfortunately, when faced with that much to clean, it can enlarge (splenomegaly) and become overactive (hypersplenism). so it starts removing healthy blood cells too quickly and too early, which can cause the anemic patient to need more blood when being transfused, which risks more iron, and not to mention its generally uncomfortable for the patient with the enlarged spleen. in short, this happened to cyrus, so his spleen has been removed. spleens, however, also play an important role in the immune system, so he was already kinda vulnerable as an anemic, but having no spleen makes him doubly at risk of infections. he takes antibiotics as part of his daily pharmaceutical regime.

during cold and flu season, docs tend to strongly suggest he wear surgical masks during school and whenever hes around a lot of people in public places, but he almost never does. he doesnt like the attention it gets him esp in school, but sometimes he'll do it when hes on public transit or anything. he does carry hand sanitizer with him a lot of the time tho

bc his immune system is fragile, he often goes in-patient for what would be minor sicknesses for us, esp if theres a fever. he tends to be hit hard by them, and being sick can make his counts plummet as his body tries to fight off the disease.

coming back around to iron related bullshit, iron overload is treated by iron chelation, for which there are mainly two medicines, deferoxamine and deferasirox, and cyrus uses the latter because i have never been able to find out enough goddamn information about deferoxamine. deferoxamine is the more common and cheaper of the two medicines; its injected subcutaneously over the course of 8-12 hours and has its own list of side effects and the process itself tends to be kinda painful from the accounts ive read. its done at home, often while the patient sleeps bc... well, when else are you gonna get a child to sit still for 8-12 hours. its definitely the one cyrus was on for a while, when he was younger. bc ive had a hellish time finding info on the pump used for deferoxamine and more about that medicine generally, cy’s currently on deferasirox. slightly different side effects, but otherwise does the same job in pill form.

thalassemia patients who've been cared for properly should be healthier than cyrus is. most patients his age havent had a heart attack already and arent dealing with heart failure, not yet. his parents have always struggled financially to keep up with his medical bills, but there was a time when he was still young that they still thought they could manage if they just worked hard enough. they were too proud to accept help, and he suffered for it. they eventually gave in but even then still struggled to keep up. sometimes a sudden unexpected change in insurance policy would fuck em for a while finanacially. so sometimes they'd not fill a perscription for a while or wait longer than they should to take him in-patient, hoping he might just tough out a cold or smth. sometimes he'd manage to do that and have abysmal blood counts next time he went in, and a couple of times he got so sick he was legit on death's doorstep by the time he got to the hospital and needed way longer to recover. sometimes cyrus would be too fussy about the deferoxamine and they didnt have the energy that night to force him to accept it or he'd turn off the machine himself after they left. not too often, he was pretty good about just accepting it and did most of the time, but it def happened more than a few times. and if it had already been activated, they couldnt reuse it and had to throw the dose out, in which case that was it he skips it no replacement they cant afford it not in the budget.

and because the effects of iron overload are long-term ones for the most part, it was easy to be like "ehh he seems fine for now". like, they knew the risks, but it was hard to see them as anything but so far in the distance as to be irrelevant. cyrus himself isnt great about the whole self-care thing either; his depression has helped nothing. he's been known to just flush or toss pills in a small spiteful act of rebellion, all his parents care about is that hes still alive and their money, and medicine's expensive, so wouldnt it just piss em off to throw it all away. he'll eat foods he shouldnt for similar reasons, along with just the pleasure of it. and sometimes he hits the sort of suicidal low where he just.... doesnt see the point. each dose he takes is a choice to keep living, and sometimes that choice isnt one he wants to make.

no one quite realized how bad he was tho till his first heart attack. he was so young; the docs dont rly know when hes skipping, so they werent watching too closely for the effects of it. and the damage his body took over time was amplified by his frequent stress. the heart and liver are the ones most affected by iron overload; his liver is somewhat damaged too, but thats not too bad yet, not as bad as his heart.

other little thal things: hormone levels can get super fucked. cy's puberty was a bit delayed, and his testosterone levels remain kinda low compared to average, so hes not as hairy as his genetics might otherwise dictate. he will never be able to grow a proper beard; it'll always be way too patchy and uneven. and despite what his touch aversion and other factors like stress and said low testosterone might lead you to believe, hes got a pretty strong sex drive, though he suppresses the hell out of it.

he was homeschooled for his first few years of elementary bc health concerns, but that couldnt be sustained bc of cost. so he rejoined public school since then. i wouldnt be surprised if his peers used his puberty delays against him, but i'd expect they were making fun of him less bc he was a late bloomer and more at his general girlishness, esp since this would also be around the time he was growing out his hair.

he has had people do the "lookit me ive befriended the sad disabled kid arent i good <3" schtick (which esp pisses him off bc its similar to shit melinda pulls) and hes met the people who try to be nice to him for three days then turn a 180 on him when he doesnt immediately cheer up and get all buddy buddy with them. and hence he now treats kindness from strangers with extreme skepticism, suspicion, and aggression. (thomas also feeds into this but ye) it scares off plenty of legitimately nice people who he could have befriended, buuut.

Oh, a couple Fun Facts I forgot to mention. bc anemia, he bruises easy and injuries generally take longer than normal to heal. And in part bc depression and in part bc meds are prone to fucking with his appetite, either killing it entirely or just making him nauseated, he tends to not eat enough and is kind of underweight. Melinda put him in charge of dinner most nights as part of a genuine good faith effort to ensure he's getting at least one good meal and get him home when he's supposed to be.

#meta #fun fact #medical #there are so many little ways his disorder has shaped his life #even if they dont appear too obviously when im writing him in actual threads #suicide mention #thalassemia

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