your best is good enough even if it sucks

Something that helps me fight back the feelings of "it could've been worse" is to tell myself "it could've been better" instead.

If you're a trauma survivor, remember that you deserved better, no matter what.

Have you fully recovered from your therapy

The therapy isn't the energy sucker this week, as I was feeling fatigued and groggy before going.

What's your today creature

I haven't drawn the last couple days because I've been feeling a bit ill. While I aim to draw daily, I'm not forcing it if I don't have the time/energy to actually enjoy the process

Do you close to your aunt's and uncle daughter or son

No, if I was I would have added them to the list. And while my uncle does have an adult son (who I barely know/see), my aunt doesn't have any children.

Beside your parents and sis do you have any relatives

Yeah, a couple. There's a grandpa, an aunt and an uncle among the people I do see regularly. But I have a very small family compared to many other people.

[Image #1: drawing of a shark. Caption: “I used to be obsessed with the small things I might have done if I weren’t sick, things like dance with somebody or go to the beach with friends. Technically, I could still do them. I’m not well enough to do as much as the average person, but I can still do things. But people stopped inviting me when I got sick. Even the ones who still wanted to talk to me stopped treating me normally unless they were sick too.”]

[Image #2: drawing of a shark with flowers on it. Caption: “So I stopped being normal. I decided to be myself instead. Now I do the things I want without waiting for someone to do them with me. I dance by myself. I spend my days making little things. I read as many books as I want. When I feel well enough, I go out and take pictures of trees. I don’t concern myself with impressing anyone or being likable. If people want to be in my life, that’s great. If they don’t, that’s okay too. I could have lived a great life if I weren’t sick. But I am sick and I’m just going to go ahead and live a great life anyway.”]

I feel like the last few years have been a lot of change for me. I didn't realize how much I had grown until I looked back, so our little ghostie friend is here to remind us.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

Once the day does come, I hope to be able to find comfort in the fact that we had fun, connected and talked until the very end. Because every day I get to have them in my life deserves to be celebrated as the blessing it is. Regardless of how and when it ends

Recently I’ve been trying to figure out how to adjust to the heartbreaking news that your close ones will pass away? Some sooner rather than later… it feels all too crushing. I feel like I’ve gotten to an age where this is happening more often than not

I don't know how to be okay with that either, but when the anxiety gets overwhelming, I try to ground myself by telling myself that they are currently okay, that they will likely be okay for many years, and that I gain nothing by panicking and grieving in advance. And then I try to focus on the present where we're all alive and okay.

Like even IF they somehow die tomorrow I'd rather spend today actually connecting with them than being too preoccupied with eventually having to lose them to actually enjoy their company

Recently I’ve been trying to figure out how to adjust to the heartbreaking news that your close ones will pass away? Some sooner rather than later… it feels all too crushing. I feel like I’ve gotten to an age where this is happening more often than not

I don't know how to be okay with that either, but when the anxiety gets overwhelming, I try to ground myself by telling myself that they are currently okay, that they will likely be okay for many years, and that I gain nothing by panicking and grieving in advance. And then I try to focus on the present where we're all alive and okay.

Recently I’ve been trying to figure out how to adjust to the heartbreaking news that your close ones will pass away? Some sooner rather than later… it feels all too crushing. I feel like I’ve gotten to an age where this is happening more often than not

I don't know how to be okay with that either, but when the anxiety gets overwhelming, I try to ground myself by telling myself that they are currently okay, that they will likely be okay for many years, and that I gain nothing by panicking and grieving in advance. And then I try to focus on the present where we're all alive and okay.

Thoughts on teddies

I love them... Love to collect them... Love to cuddle them...

Hope your illness clears up!! I wanted to ask you about your special interest. what's your favourite year between 2000 and 2010, and why? Or if you don't know, what's your thoughts on the early 00s vs the middle and later?

I don't think I have a favorite year yet, but I'd say that the 00s were most explicitly themselves from around 2003 to 2007, whereas the first years were quite 90s, and the later ones marked the end of that era. There are 2000s media I enjoy from the entire decade, though!

I hate when people imply that you can't love others before you love yourself, when actually most of us learn how to love ourselves through being loved by others. Which means that if you haven't been loved properly by others, the solution to that trauma usually isn't to try to fix yourself in isolation

i have a massive romantic affection for my forester friend and am like 90% sure he knows, but i'm simply never going to say anything and he's far too polite to mention it . he's going off to grad school in the fall so I'm stuck between "making the most of every minute" and "pretending I love him a Normal amount" and buddy, you'll never believe this but it's not working well 😐

I'm sorry it doesn't make sense to try to pursue these feelings, but I don't think you have to feel guilty or wrong about loving this person. Loving people is a good thing, and I think he's lucky that you see someone worth loving in him ❤️

The first step towards no longer hating yourself is usually to be found in your behavior and your actions, not in your feelings. Just like you don't have to love your coworker to recognize that you shouldn't scream at their annoying comment, you don't have to love yourself to recognize that abusing your mind and body and neglecting self care isn't helpful or beneficial