#// thank you all so much for being patient with me!!
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i think your love would be too much ; satoru gojo
summary; satoru knows that you’re worried about something. he just doesn’t know what.
word count; 4.1k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, sickening amounts of fluff, (that’s literally all. that’s it. thank you for your time), you’re both down horrendous, the ”something” reader is worried about is very very silly <333, mostly satoru’s pov!!
a/n; i love this man so fucking much my chest hurts so i dug up the sappiest wip i could find in my drafts <333 you can tell i completely lost the plot halfway through but just pretend that i didn’t ok. i dedicate this to gojo nation :3
satoru feels your stare prickle at the back of his neck.
he’s rummaging through the fridge, one hand on his hip, grabbing two cans of iced tea from the bottom compartment. peach for him, lime for you. his infinity is down, the pads of his fingers meeting chilled aluminum, condensation licking at his skin.
but the goosebumps that sensation causes is nothing compared to the ones he gets from this — your stare digging into the back of his head, your attention aimed directly at him. when he turns around, closing the fridge with a bump of his hipbone, you freeze. like a deer caught in headlights.
satoru grins.
”you checkin’ me out?”
”no,” you blurt, and his smile only grows.
”aw…” he waltzes across the room, from the kitchen island to the living room, fuzzy socks against the floorboards. ”what’s up, then? something on your mind?”
with a clink, he puts the cans of tea down on the coffee table. you murmur out a breath of thanks, but make no move to reach for either of them.
now that he’s close enough to see you properly — he thinks to himself that you do look a little ill at ease. something in the crease between your brows, shying away from the eye contact he wants. something in the way your voice comes out somewhat strained.
”it’s nothing… i just —”
you stop. gaze fleeing from his own, slipping down to your lap. he thinks you look particularly small like this. curled up on his expensive couch, curling in on yourself; gnawing at your bottom lip.
”… i’m being dumb.”
he hums. tilting his head, taking you in — wasting no more than a mere moment before taking action.
you feel him plop down next to you, a shift in the weight bearing down on his couch. comforting. when you glance up, he’s smiling, patient and light. hand sneakily slipping between the cracks of your own, squeezing your palm, running his thumb over the ridges of your knuckle.
”wanna tell me about it?”
from behind the black layer of glass obscuring your frame, satoru watches you intently. watches your expression shift, drinking in the twitch of your brows, how the colour of your eyes flickers in the light. the way your soul sulks and sputters under the weight of his all-seeing gaze.
you part your lips. slowly, searching for the right words — only to close them again.
you try once more. hesitant.
all you can manage is a frustrated huff.
”it’s nothing, honestly,” you’re quick to backtrack, wincing inwardly. ”i've just… been thinking. i guess.”
a hum. his smile doesn’t waver. ”about what?”
you avert your gaze. biting your lip, again, turning away from him; resting your chin on the heel of your palm. avoiding his stare like it could turn you to stone. he barely picks up on the words you murmur, flowing out beneath your breath.
”i... can't tell you.”
satoru raises a brow.
a moment passes. two, three — the silence is telling. you can hear the discontentment in his voice, despite his attempts to mask it.
”why not?”
”i… haah.” you scoot away, just a little more, turning away so he can’t dissect your expression the way he’d like to. ”i just can’t, okay?”
silently, silently, he observes you. the little of you he can see, at the very least; fixating on the side of your face, your cheek, those fluttering eyelashes. as if it could tell him something. you can’t see the way his eyes narrow, behind his shades, black glass shielding you from the weight of his scrutiny.
satoru bites back a huff.
curiosity and impatience aside, he feels offended. thoroughly so. he doesn't like it when you shut him out, like this, when you don’t allow him to soothe you.
your relationship has been a slow one — steady, a kind of settling in that he never thought he’d experience. calm waves lapping along the edges of smooth sand, washing away tiny pebbles and handfuls of sea glass; delicately coming closer. getting him used to the sensation before gently urging him to take a dip.
that’s the kind of love you share.
so it stings, a little, when you won’t let him return the favour. it stings in the same way his phantom scars itch on cold nights.
he knows opening up isn't easy. for you, for anyone, least of all for him — but he still finds himself feeling a little bit dejected. because he's supposed to be your safe space. the person you can trust with absolutely anything.
(if he can’t be that, for you, then what the hell is he even good for?)
he can’t help but feel the slightest tug of worry, too. seeing the tight line of your closed lips, that hardness of your expression. the unmistakable stress accumulating in the corners of your eyes.
but he doesn’t voice that worry. he simply gives your hand another squeeze, and smiles a little wider. ”try me.”
a sigh flows from your lips.
”you don't get it, satoru.”
your voice has a bite to it, now, just a little harsh. something akin to a soft hiss — defensiveness, he ultimately settles on. but why?
”it’s —” you muster up a glance his way, the slightest little peek, before turning away again. blurting out the words on the tip of your tongue. ”it’s so fucking embarrassing. you’ll laugh.”
satoru blinks.
”… huh?”
”you’ll laugh, and you'll tease me, and — ” he feels your hand slip from his own, muffling a groan as it covers your face. ”i’ll never live it down.”
you’re hiding, squirming, and satoru’s curiosity increases at an alarming rate. he leans forward, trying to catch a glimpse of your face, but you don’t let him.
now he’s nothing short of intrigued.
”i won't,” he says, simply. voice as clear as glass. you scoff into your hands.
”you will!”
”i promise you i won't laugh.”
”you always say that.” a sigh falls from your lips, deep and heavy, as your hands finally slip down to your lap. ”but you never mean it. you’ll laugh so much. i know you will.”
you bite down on your lip. he wants to cup your jaw and kiss you, mend the bruising with a swipe of his tongue — but he tactfully decides against it.
”it’s — it's so…” you trail off, fidgeting with your hands, nervously linking your fingers together. gazing down with a pout. ”so stupid.”
”baby…” his voice takes on a fond tone, tender and patient. everything he strives to be, when it comes to you; you and you alone. ”c’mon. you can tell me anything.”
with a sense of delicacy, he takes your hands into his bigger ones. tucking them into his palms, bringing them into his own lap — meeting your meek eyes.
”right?”
through the blue of his gaze, he watches you falter. watches your eyes soften, crumbling a little, as you silently weigh your options. you look flustered.
then you slowly part your lips.
”you’re gonna think i’m just joking, or whatever, but — but i mean it. i’m…” your throat bobs with a shallow gulp. ”i’m seriously worried.”
satoru nods. ”i’ll take you seriously.”
you look up. all you’re met with is a reassuring smile, familiar dimples, the slightest hint of a kind blue behind his shades.
and you finally give in.
”i… i think i might —”
shifting and squirming, your gaze flits from spot to spot, hands still intertwined with his own. you’re caged in, forced to face him, and it only adds to your nervosity. his eyes never leave your face.
”i think… i…”
your voice comes out sounding tiny. gaze stuck to the couch beneath you, as your lips form around the right syllables, and you finally blurt out out the words you've been trying to keep at bay —
”i think i love you too much.”
…
silence.
you still refuse to meet his gaze. a red hue crawls up your neck, spreading to the tips of your ears, heartbeat pounding under your ribs. the sentence spills out of your lips like an arrow; so rushed he barely deciphers it in time.
before the silence can swallow you whole, you continue. trying not to stammer, holding back an embarrassed wince. pouting softly, brows furrowed as your clammy hands twitch anxiously against his own. ”like... to the point where… it isn't normal.”
and then you wait. with bated breath, too embarrassed to look up, bottom lip tensing and softening between your teeth. dreading the explosive reaction he’ll undoubtedly give you.
… except it doesn’t come.
he’s not saying a word. nothing. the silence is so deafening you could cut it in half, lingering, festering in the air around you. all you hear is your own stupid, erratic little heartbeat — refusing to settle down.
a couple painful moments pass, before you physically can't take it anymore.
as slowly as you can muster, your gaze travels upwards — from his lap to his chest to his exposed collarbone, until his face finally enters your field of vision. you can’t resist the temptation.
(why is he being so quiet? satoru is never quiet.)
you meet his gaze. or what you think is his gaze, anyhow, because you can’t see the way his eyes are squeezed shut. what you do notice is the twitch of his lips, quivering ever so slightly, as if unsure of which direction to go — and you know one of satoru’s sharp teeth must be biting down hard to keep them in place. his shoulders are shaking, only barely, and he breathes out sharply through his nose; in a desperate attempt to keep his promise.
desperately struggling to maintain his composure.
he makes the mistake of opening his eyes, and all that effort goes down the drain. met with the sight of your flushed face, wide eyes, shining with embarrassment and disbelief.
like a stack of cards blown over by the wind, satoru’s poker face crumbles. he fails to bite back the wide grin that breaks out across his lips, showing off the white of his teeth, and a soft bout of fresh laughter flows from out his lips.
you gape at him.
then your brows furrow, harshly, and you choke on a scoff. with a start, you’re scrambling to stand up, tugging your hands away from his.
”see?” you hiss, almost tripping over your own two feet as you shoot up from the couch. ”i told you! you're laughing!”
you sound so embarrassed he thinks he might cry.
satoru gives up. laughter reverberating throughout his entire body, deep and loud, from the very bottom of his gut — enough to have him clutching at his sides. that only makes you flush deeper, glare harder, and all he can think is that he wants to kiss you silly.
”you promised!”
”i’m —” he chokes on a sharp wheeze, one hand reaching out to keep you from leaving. ”i’m sorry, baby, i —”
but he only ends up doubling over. sputtering with laughter, feeling the leather of the couch meet his cheek. you turn away sharply, and he pulls himself up again. ”wait — sweetheart —”
a fond chuckle rumbles through his chest, his long arms circling around your waist and pulling you into his embrace. caging you in. you struggle helplessly, trying desperately to break free, but it’s useless — he’s the strongest for a reason.
all you can do is writhe and grumble under your breath, inhaling a familiar scent of vanilla and musk. the fabric softener he uses puts your senses hopelessly at ease, but he’s still laughing — so you can’t help but kick and struggle seamlessly.
”let me go, satoru!”
said man chokes on another little laugh, shoulders shaking, tucking you so close he can feel the pitter patter of your heartbeat against his stomach. you’re so upset with him. but he can’t stop, can't reel it back in, and every weak punch to his chest and muffled protest just makes his composure feel more out of reach. he tried his best.
he really, really did.
he tried so hard not to laugh.
(”i think i love you too much.”)
god. just what is he supposed to do with you, huh?
”i’m sorry,” he grins, almost entirely out of breath. ”’m not doing it on purpose, you're just —”
a sudden fit of giggles.
"you're so cute.”
”satoru, it’s — not funny,” you whine, practically burning up. every single sound he makes buzzes in your ear. ”i’m serious. i —”
you squeeze your eyes shut. giving in, finally, allowing yourself to melt into his arms. limbs losing their feistiness. he delights in the sensation.
”you don't get it.”
it’s a whisper, muffled against the fabric of his shirt, but he hears it nonetheless. deep breaths, he reminds himself. it’s hard to take such an adorable confession seriously, but he tries. for whatever reason, you genuinely sound troubled.
”wait, so you —” he bites back an amused breath, but can’t hide the palpable smile in his voice. ”you love me… too much?”
a groan. you hide away, nuzzling further into his chest; your safe harbour.
”… i told you it was embarrassing.”
”it’s not,” he’s quick to console you. ”i’m just confused.” his palm glides across the back of your head, smoothing down your tousled hair, a grounding weight. he pats your head softly. ”i mean…”
a deep inhale. his heartbeat finally settles into a calm rhythm, slow and steady, lungs flooding with oxygen. he breathes out through his nose.
”is that really such a bad thing?”
”it is.” a frown finds its way onto your lips. your reply is instantaneous. ”i don’t think it’s normal. i’m just…”
satoru listens. patiently, feeling your fingers grip onto the edges of his shirt — comforting yourself with the soft fabric. then you sigh.
”i don’t know. i just can’t, like…” you grapple for the right word, moving your hands haphazardly, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. ”comprehend how much i love you.”
satoru bites back a smile.
(his heart flutters, flutters, flutters, like cherry blossoms on a windy spring morning.)
before he has the chance to, you part your lips again; speaking in a soft voice. resigned, he thinks. ”it’s just weird. it’s not exactly bad, but —”
you bite down on your lip.
”... it’s scary.”
a soft coo buzzes in your ear. satoru can’t help but pull you closer, closer still, smothering you in the warmth of his embrace. conveying what he knows will be too much for you to hear in words — what he knows he couldn’t convey in the language that you speak. you feel warm, still burning up a bit. like a little firefly.
he isn’t faring much better, though; a vague heat blooming under the skin of his nape. smiling so wide his cheeks are starting to hurt.
(what on earth did he do to deserve you?)
a firm jaw settles on the top of your head. satoru parts his glossy lips, voice flowing out somewhat breathlessly, affectionate as can be.
”don’t you think i feel exactly the same about you?”
his pulse trembles against you. when you strain your ears, you can hear the rhythmic thumping of his heartbeat, mingling with your own; still resounding in your ears.
”… i dunno.”
satoru’s hold around you tightens, ever so slightly. something in the way he cradles you, strong arms around your waist, a low hum accompanying the light squeeze of his limbs. he can’t see your face, from this angle, but his pupils still flicker downwards — hungry for a glimpse of your expression.
then he smiles.
”i’m terrified of you, y’know?”
you blink. once, then twice, eyelids fluttering. a moment of silence passes.
”… huh?”
”beyond terrified, actually,” his smile builds into a grin. ”i’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it. no one scares me more than you do.”
satoru pulls away, just a little, just enough to finally get a good look at you. your eyes are brimming with confusion. a large palm goes to cradle your cheek, and he tilts his head — inhaling a breath.
”i love you so much that it hurts.”
…
a soft chuckle slips from out his lips, when he catches your flustered, wide-eyed stare. sneaking a hand towards the small of your back, leaning in to press a kiss against the apple of your cheek.
”i adore you,” he whispers, smooth syllables melting into a purr. you stiffen under his touch. his fingertips trace the lines of your jaw, lips trailing down to your neck, chaste and sweet as he nips at the sensitive skin. muttering under his breath. ”you have no idea.”
and you truly, truly don't. satoru doesn't think you even know the half of it.
you can’t possibly know what you mean to him — that your very presence makes him forget who he is, what he has to be, a weight on his shoulders he grew used to long ago. you can’t possibly know that just the feeling of your hand in his makes the distance between you feel so inconsequential.
you are the most precious thing in his life. he doesn't think you could ever understand the weight that sentiment carries — he wouldn't want you to.
and here you are, so awfully worried, because you're too in love with him. he still can't help but grin. you’re so sweet, so silly. the words make him feel as if his heart is crumbling.
”… i can't believe you’re real sometimes.”
something tender rests under the whisper. something frighteningly sincere. it makes you feel a little like you’ve been sliced open. it’s raw, it’s heavy and light and it’s love. it’s satoru — all his little inconsistencies, and the stability beneath it all.
and some part of you knows that he's telling the truth. that he understands your ridiculous little confession, your embarrassing worries. satoru understands.
that alone is enough to quell the turmoil in your chest.
(what he gives you is a love as boundless as the sky; one that covers everything you could ever be. unconditional.)
”so there’s no need to worry.”
he pulls back, lips leaving your skin. you still feel their warmth linger. his shades have slipped down, barely hanging on to the bridge of his nose, and you can see the blue of his eyes. they’re shining like jewels, soft around the edges. consumed by love.
”there’s no way you could ever love me as much as i love you.”
gazing into his eyes, as if hypnotized by their glow, your own gleam with a mesmerizing shine. glazed over with something sweet and wonderful, something satoru wants to burn into his retinas so he never forgets it. he wishes he could wring it out of you and put it in his pocket — but it looks prettier behind your cornea.
he savours the moment, slowly, until it abruptly ends.
with a second of pause, your brows draw together, forming into an irritated furrow. lips tugging downwards into a frown. ”that’s not true.”
satoru blinks. still smiling.
”i love you way more,” you huff. petulant, almost, something soft and amused in your tone. he thinks the sound fits you more than anything; unburdened and stubborn.
(as charming as you are, though — this is one battle he refuses to lose.)
”nu-uh,” he pokes the tip of your nose, delighting in the soft flutter of your blinking eyelashes. ”i love you more. sorry, sweetie.”
a huff. ”you don't.”
”i do.”
”you don't."
this time, you're the one reaching out, the pad of your finger landing on the tip of satoru’s nose — teasingly trailing up to the bridge of it. his heartbeat stutters, but he feigns nonchalance, raising an unimpressed brow; eyes unknowingly gleaming with mirth.
and mischief.
you barely have time to react. one moment you're seated on satoru’s lap, the next you're looking up at him with your back against the couch. he towers over you, keeping your hands pinned above your head with a single palm.
a familiar chill runs down your spine.
”i do,” he grins, free hand reaching towards you. recognizing the danger of a situation you've been in more times than you can count, you try to squirm away — but you don't get very far.
satoru’s fingers ghost over your sides, and panic floods your wide eyes.
even though you know exactly what’s about to happen, a yelp pushes past your lips when he begins to tickle you. mercilessly, fingers trailing over your most sensitive spots. all you can do is squirm, trying your damnedest to bite back the bout of laughter crawling up your throat —
but apparently neither of you are very good at that.
when the familiar cling of your laughter finally spills past your lips, flowing into satoru’s ears, his smile blooms into a grin. big and happy, childish in its innocence — not even attempting to hide his joy. his own giggles melt into your soft wheezes and desperate pleas, as you struggle to break free, straining against the firm hold he has on your wrists.
”i love you way, way, way more,” he continues to tease, halting his movement just enough to let you catch your breath. ”it’s not even close.”
even as giggles breathlessly spill from your lips, you manage a shake of your head. ”no, you —”
”wrong answer.”
he cuts you off with a smirk, and the torture starts anew. you can't get the words out, caught in your throat and muffled by a loud squeak, followed by forced laughter. satoru watches, in pure adoration, waiting for the moment you finally relent.
it doesn’t take long.
”f — fine, fine!”
he stills. eyes crinkled, shades barely hanging on to the bridge of his nose, fighting the urge to keep going. if only so he can hear your melodic giggles.
”can’t we —” you struggle to catch your breath, words stuck between bouts of leftover laughter. cheeks flushed and chest heaving. ”just call it a tie?”
satoru pauses. he drags it out, exaggerated, building up suspense. eyes narrowing playfully. ”hmmm…”
then he smiles. a soft, resigned little thing.
”alright, alright.” he leans forward, keeping you in place. ”that works, i guess.”
his lips meet yours. soft and glossy, tasting of cherries, exhaling a pleased sigh against your mouth. you’re still panting a little, but he doesn’t seem to mind. slow to pull away, with a drawn out mwah, grinning boyishly down at your disheveled state. he lets your wrists go free.
an unimpressed look is all you give him, quick to melt into a soft chuckle.
”well, that’s that.” you push yourself up with your elbows, fixing your tousled hair. ”now we can forget this ever happened.”
satoru raises a brow.
”oh, i dunno about that,” he purrs, voice ripe with mischief. a teasing glint flashes in his eyes, as he scrutinizes you, and it’s enough to have your face heating up again. the sight makes him coo. ”you love me so much you can't comprehend it, huh?”
you blink. it takes a moment for your expression to shift, from bafflement to embarrassment — but he thinks it’s all worth it when it does. barely restraining the urge to kiss you again.
”satoru…”
a giggle leaves his lips. reaching a hand out, he pinches your cheek. ”you’re cute.”
with a roll of your eyes, you swat him away; unable to bite back a smile. “quit it.”
”aw.”
he looks so smug. you can’t help but want to bite back, somehow — so you muster up your most shit-eating grin, a distinctly teasing lilt coating your sugar-sweet voice.
”you love me so much that it hurts, huh?”
satoru blinks.
endearment blooms, in the depths of his cerulean eyes. he watches you carefully, awfully amused — thinking to himself that he must be rubbing off on you. what a scary thought.
”yeah,” he breathes, a sigh laced with sincerity. cupping your cheek with the palm of his hand, settling on the option he knows will fluster you most. ”i do.”
this time, you’re the one who blinks. once, twice, before letting out a groan — slumping against his broad frame. satoru chuckles, breathlessly, consumed by you; by every move you make. all six of his eyes aimed directly at you.
(if he gives you the sky, then what you give him is a love as steady as the ocean; one that’ll drown every bit of his sadness. unyielding.)
”can’t you ever just let me win?” you mutter, breathing in his cologne and tugging at his shirt. pressed up against him, on his couch, safe and secure. right where you should be.
he noses at your neck, pressing a little kiss against your pulsepoint. a quiet, quiet offering at the altar of your soul. ”nope,” he hums, smiling cheekily.
”i love you too much for that.”
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x gender neutral reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff
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Ascent to Oblivion part 2 - echoes of regret
He wanted you to awaken, yet he’s not sure why.
Maybe he wanted answers. A reasonable explanation for your absurd actions.
Notes: Ahhhhh, I'm finally free again! I'm so sorry for not posting for a while, I was busy. Anyways, thank you so much for being patient with me. Part 2 is finally outttt. Also, tried a new writing style? I decided to go for less editing on this one, I want to see if it's better in terms of writing emotions. Thank you for 100 followers btw. You guys are the best <33
Warning: reader is not traveler btw, scara's pov after the battle, slight angst?
Peace was a luxury that Scaramouche could never afford.
How could he, when the treachery was etched in the steps of his past ?
Yet the solitude that submerged the city of Sumeru leaves a bitter taste resting on his tongue. He settled beside a statue of the Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, overlooking the city she once presided over. The region he was supposed to subjugate and bend to his will.
For once, he’ll be the one exercising control, toying with the strings of his very own marionette play. He’ll devote himself to the role of the puppeteer, finding delight in engineering the people to act according to his words and his words alone. To constrain them to kneel and beg for mercy, manipulating their resolve for his own amusement.
But alas, it was not meant to be. For he had been defeated by a pesky Traveler and their idiotic companions.
Scaramouche’s face soured.
What a disgrace.
His sharp eyes remained its scornful glare at the city. He can not stand staring at the tranquility he yearned to have. The gentle winds that rushed his way seemed to mock him further . It left a lingering caress on his cheek, offering a taste of what he’d been missing for 500 years. He scowls, the hatred evident in his features. A flurry of fallen leaves soon crashed in his direction, dancing away as it avoided him to catch up with the gust of air. One such leaf had landed on your face though, as you lay asleep beside him. He had almost forgotten he brought you here on a whim, despite the Lesser Lord Kusanali’s warnings.
Their conversation was still fresh in his mind. Having visited you a few times everyday, the Dendro Archon’s attention was caught. She harbored a small smile on her tiny face, her voice warm as usual.
“You don’t have to come here everyday you know?”
He recalls sighing in reply, “I know.”
“But I have to”
Have to, huh?
His answer never really made sense, even to him. He doesn't know why he possessed such a strong obligation to see you. Maybe it had something to do with the turmoil of emotions he was experiencing, raging in his non-existent heart and influencing his thoughts. He wanted you to awaken, yet he’s not sure why.
Maybe he wanted answers. A reasonable explanation for your absurd actions.
Scara still remembers that day. Every single detail. He can’t forget how your body pressed against his, the metallic red a cool contrast to his overheating skin. The way your arms encompassed around him, squeezing him tightly like you were terrified he’d vanish without a trace. He recounts the smash of the debris falling on you, a consequence you suffered for attempting to shield him from danger.
A stupid move, really.
He was a puppet, a mere rubble like that was not a threat to his utility. Yet you , with all your mortal characteristics, decided to play hero and shelter him from it. Now look where that got you.
Asleep .
For two whole weeks.
Why even bother doing something like that? He wasn’t someone you’d want to save. He had hurt you prior to his fall, yet with no hesitation, you jumped to catch him.
…You dumbass.
What’s so special about him anyways?
He was nothing more than a discarded puppet, a vessel that was tossed away. A broken doll who's shattered pieces had crumbled to dust, leaving behind a shell of who he once was.
What part of him was worthy of your adoration? To the point where you disregard your safety just to come to his rescue?
He was insignificant. A failure . A worthless scrap of metal.
The despairing sobs he vocalized that day served as a reminder that his existence was a mistake. He plummeted to a time in the past when a shed tear sealed his fate to be discarded. He expected you to do the same.
Yet you didn't .
You didn't abdicate him. You didn't push him away. You simply emboldened your hold and refused to let go. Your touch brought such fervor ardor he had never felt before, a fleeting emotion that loiters within his senses despite the passage of time. Your touch provided him the solace he'd been searching for. But did he even deserve that comfort?
He eyes your complexion, and his chest burns. What a cruel play by fate, charming the wires of affection out of his grasp and awarding it to you like a trophy.
If only you didn't catch him, then he wouldn't be this troubled.
If only you let him fall.
If only you never cared.
The burn starts to grow, the searing sting tormenting the foundation of his being. His stomach lurches, oh how badly he wants to throw up. Maybe he'll end up vomiting all these useless feelings too.
He wills to change the past, for a preferable outcome in the future. If he never existed, this dilemma would cease to exist. He wouldn’t have to suffer, and you would go on your merry way. Like a parallel line, your paths would never be bound to meet. Maybe then, you wouldn’t be asleep in the first place. Maybe you’d be out there somewhere, roaming Teyvat with the Traveler without the hindrance of his presence.
His existence bordered between pain and fury anyway, and he knew more than anyone how it was certainly a life not worth prevailing.
With a sigh, Scara narrowed those eyes of his in your direction. How dare you look so peaceful when he's over here, drenched in a scorching passion of self-hatred? The audacity to just remain there, with your pretty eyes closed, and not bother doing anything about it. He huffs, ready to hurl more insults at you. Maybe you’ll wake up from it, returning his jabs as you shoot him a dirty look. And yet…
“Sorry…”
Something entirely different tumbled out of his mouth. He blinks, barely registering the phrases ripped from his throat. Did he just-
“...I’m sorry”
Why was he apologizing? What was there to apologize for? He wanted to slander you for your interference in his life, not to beg for forgiveness.
A drop of water descends onto your cheek. Huh?
Was it starting to rain?
“...You idiot”
He stops. Has he always sounded like that? Strained… and distressed?
And why was his vision blurring?
“Please…”
The pang of discomfort bites him without a warning, and it hurts. It hurts so bad. His trembling hands reach out to you. He wants to nuzzle against your arms again, to have you drown out his sorrows in an act of intimacy he’s been longing for.
“Please wake up already”
Taglist: @featuredtofu, @slaylatus, @feikyuu, @yourfavoritefreakyhan, @materialgrowll,
@lxkeeeee, @l4r1n3, @cicil-nema, @alaynac101-blog, @beomtorii2,
@strawbeewie,
@gravy-kfc, @kaeeelie, @pocketdroll, @ladyvelvette, @mmeatt,
@itzshizuyaxd, @swivi
Taglist for (possible) part 3??
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact fanfic#scaramouche#scara fanfic#the balladeer#genshin scara#scara x reader#scara x y/n#scaramouche x reader#gender nuetral reader#genshin x reader#wanderer genshin#genshin wanderer#wanderer x reader#wanderer#wanderer x y/n#genshin impact scaramouche#genshin impact wanderer#scaramouche fanfic#wanderer fanfic#scaramouche brainrot#i just want to catch him#hoyoverse please
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Heyy 𖹭 luv ur writing!
I was wondering if you could possibly do a Ni-ki x Reader (best friends who like eachother tho, not dating) where Ni-ki shows up at readers house at like midnight to bring her over to his place instead. Or something along those lines where reader doesn't wanna be in her own house and Ni-ki helps her thru it ykyk?
Thankuuu :33
a place where i can go - nrk
○ pairing: bsf!ni-ki x gn!reader ○ genre: fluff, a hint of angst ○ word count: 1.3k ○ warnings: reader is overwhelmed with life, ni-ki and reader have a interesting relationship but aren't doing anything to solve it
○ author's note: thank you so much anon for being so patient with me and thank you for requesting ! i hope i did you justice with this request, enjoy reading <33
“i’m on my way” was the last thing riki texted you before leaving you - once again - alone with your thoughts. he’s currently on his way to pick you up and bring you to his place instead because you honestly couldn’t stand being at home right now. you have been bombarded with work and school and life just keeps throwing things at you. you couldn’t take it anymore. you needed to escape. and the first thing that came to mind was texting riki. he is the one you always go to with no hesitation. and he’ll always be the one to drop everything he’s doing to make sure you’re okay.
you packed a bag filled with all your necessities for the night and next morning since you planned on spending the night with riki. this wasn’t anything new. in fact, you spent the night at his place quite often. you can even say that you slept better at his place than yours. you just felt safe and secure in his presence. your phone pinged, “here” riki said. you quickly thumbs up his message and left your house.
“hey,” you greeted him after you got into his car, “i’m so sorry for texting so late, i swear i was gonna go crazy if i stayed in that house for any longer.”
“no it’s okay,” he shook his head and pulled you in for a hug, “you doing okay?” he asked with a concerned look.
“yeah i just…i needed to get out for a bit. to breathe a little, you know?” he gave you a reassuring smile and nodded.
“let’s go home?” he grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb on top of it.
you nodded, “let’s go home.”
as you drove to his place, he never once let go of your hand. every now and then, he would spare you a few glances, smiling at you whenever the two of you made eye contact - making you feel at ease. not a single word had to be said between you.
once arriving at riki’s place, he leaves you in the living room to get settled while he runs to grab some blankets and pillows for the two of you. he returns shortly after and seats himself next to you. the soft glow from the tv illuminated the room, creating a cozy ambiance. in the background, a faint melody from your favorite movie played. it was clear that you were still stuck in your head. riki didn’t fail to notice as you stared down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers, "do you want to talk about it?" he asked, softly nudging your shoulder .
you shrugged, "there's not really much to talk about, life happens and it gets overwhelming sometimes," you sighed and laid your head against his shoulder, "i just needed to escape for a bit, you know?"
you can hear him chuckle under his breath, "just say you wanted to see me," he teased, "’it’s okay, i won’t judge because you’re down bad for me."
you scoffed,playfully pushing his face away, "alright enough," it was silent before the two of you started to laugh, "you're the one who jumped at the opportunity to come get me."
riki stopped laughing and said, "well, who else would you go to? i promised that i'd always be there for you, didn’t i?"
"that's true," you murmured, "you're really all i have at this point."
he opened his mouth to say something but quickly stopped, taking a moment to find the right words, "is that a bad thing?"
"not at all, honestly..." you shook your head, "i wouldn't even trade it for the world. i’m pretty happy with the way things are." you grinned, looking over at him to which you noticed that his eyes were already on you, even glimmering in the darkness. you felt yourself getting lost in his eyes. your heartbeat increased.
he was the first one to break eye contact, "this is quite an interesting relationship you and i have." he said in a teasing tone. he looked over to your lap and grabbed your hand that was currently resting on it. he had this habit of playing with your fingers whenever he was bored. it was something you've always found endearing.
"yeah," you dragged out, "friendship..."
he was right about your relationship being “interesting”. both of you have known for quite some time that you have strong mutual feelings for each other. but what have you done about it? absolutely nothing. you’re still labeled as “just friends”. it kind of just became an unspoken thing between you two. to be fair though, there were reasons behind this. one, you’re not really in a rush to move forward with your relationship plus with how hectic your life is right now, you’re afraid that could take away from the fun of being together. you’re already in a good place with him so you don’t feel so obligated to take the next step so soon. and two, even if things did go well and you finally start dating riki, you're afraid that it might change things between you two. you're scared of the fact that you could potentially lose him. so what do you do to avoid this? keep it all to yourself.
a heavy silence filled the air as none of you had any idea what to say next. mentally cursing at yourself for making things awkward, your eyes looked at anything but riki.
the next few words that left his mouth caused you to bring your attention back towards him, “…do you ever think about if we weren’t just friends?” he hesitantly asked.
“do you?”
“i asked you first.”
letting out a breath, you admit, “i do and it scares me sometimes,” you felt his hand squeeze yours, encouraging you to continue, “because there would be a chance of me losing you whether it’d be because we break up or things just get weird once we actually start dating. i just can’t stand the idea of not having you in my life, riki.”
“hey,” he grabbed your face and gently rubbed his thumbs against your cheeks, “my promise i made to you will never be broken. i’m not going anywhere. and even if things don’t work out between us…i’ll make sure that everything’s going to be okay. you’re important to me too so i’ll do everything in my power to keep you in my life.”
“you promise?” you looked into his eyes.
“i promise,” not wanting to overstep his boundaries, he leans in to press a kiss on your forehead, “i got you.”
you have him and he has you. and that’s all that matters.
“i know you’re probably not ready to move forward with our relationship and that’s totally okay. i don’t ever want you to think i’m rushing you, but i want you to know that i’ll always wait for you. as long as it takes, y/n.”
“riki-“ you started but you were interrupted.
“you don’t need to say anything, i don’t want you worrying about anything else. we're here to get your mind off of everything. it’s just something i needed to say.”
the only thing you could do was nod at him. there was so much you wanted to say but for some reason, you weren’t able to verbalize it. but somehow riki understood it all. you didn’t need to say a thing for him to understand. that’s how it’s always been. he knew you too well.
putting everything aside, the two of you spent the rest of the night talking and joking around, all your troubles long forgotten. you felt your eyes get heavier and heavier and shortly after you found yourself fast asleep in riki’s warm and secure embrace.
watching as you slept soundly in his arms, riki knew that he would give you the entire world if he could. friend or lover, he’ll never let you go regardless.
©luvj4key, all work is written by me. do not copy or repost
taglist: @j-jinxee @j4keluver
#₊˚ෆ luvj4key's collection: enha#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen drabbles#enhypen one shots#enhypen fanfics#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#enhypen soft hours#niki#niki imagines#niki scenarios#niki drabbles#niki one shots#niki x reader#niki fanfics#niki fluff#niki angst#niki soft hours
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I'd like to believe - Lewis Hamilton
Alternative sequel to Maybe in another life / When I get to meet you
pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!
warnings: mentions of mourning, angst, will make you emotional
wordcount: +1K
a/n: Alternative-ish ending (this was actually my first draft to continue their story, so the happy-ish one is the alternative, sort of).
As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!
MILD TRIGGERING CONTENT UNDER, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
______________________________________________________________
My dearest little one,
Today marks ten years since you should have been here, celebrating another year of life. Ten times the snow has fallen, making everything quiet outside.
They say time heals all cuts, but some cuts go real deep, leaving scars that never quite go away. And I still find it hard to believe that a whole decade has passed.
You'd be so grown now, so full of life and curiosity, brimming with questions and dreams. I often wonder what you'd be like – would you have my stubbornness and determination, or your mother's grace and patience?
Maybe a beautiful blend of both, creating someone truly unique.
I’m going to visit your stone again later today. Leave this letter like every year. I suspect there’ll be fresh flowers, as always, probably from your mother.
She never forgets.
We never reconnected, not like I'd hoped for. But I think about her often.
I searched everywhere for her. I just really needed someone to share the pain with, someone to hold onto while everything fell apart. We tried talking, spilling out all our feelings, but the words wouldn't come out right. Maybe we were afraid of saying the wrong thing or making things worse.
Maybe we were both thinking the same thing – maybe if we'd done things differently, maybe you'd still be here.
After a while, the space between us just kept getting bigger, too big to cross. You see, your mom, she found a way to move on. She built a life for herself, a life where the pain was still there, but it didn't control her anymore.
I hope she's found peace and happiness, something she deserved more than anyone. She was an incredible woman, and I wish I had been the man she needed me to be.
I hope she reads these letters someday, that she understands how much I loved you both, how much I regret not being there when you needed me most.
Maybe one day, when the weight of these years starts to feel a little lighter, I can finally forgive myself.
Maybe then, I can find the strength to reach out to her, not to get back together, but to find some peace, a simple way to say thank you for the love we shared and sorry for the loss that tore us apart.
You know, life has changed quite a bit since I last wrote to you.
I'm with someone, have been for the past four years. She's patient, kind and knows about you. I don't think we'll ever have children though. She's got her own ghosts.
I retired from racing. Shortly after I won my eighth championship with Ferrari. It was a dream come true, but also bittersweet because I couldn't share it with you. I work as a consultant for the team now, just like Niki was for me at Mercedes. You’d have loved him.
It's a different kind of thrill, guiding the next generation of racers, helping them navigate the same challenges I once faced, but it drives me forward.
I’d like to believe you’d be proud of your old man for that.
I sometime wonder if you would have been drawn to racing too, or maybe you'd have found your passion in something entirely different. Whatever it might have been, I would have supported you every step of the way and with all my heart.
I think about the things you'd enjoy often; you know?! The hobbies and interests you'd develop.
Maybe you'd love music, like your mother. She had an incredible ear for it, always humming a tune or singing softly to herself. It’s what got us close in the first place so many years ago.
Perhaps you'd have a knack for building things, creating something out of nothing with your hands and imagination.
Either way, I hope you'd have found joy in the simple things, just like I try and do now.
There's so much I wish I could’ve shared with you. So many lessons I've learned the hard way and would to show you. Life isn't always easy, my little one. It's filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures.
One of the most important things I wish I could’ve taught you is the value of love. Real love, the kind that fills your heart and soul, and is worth every bit of pain and sacrifice.
I had that with your mother, even if I didn't realize it at the time. She saw right through me, saw the man behind the driver, and loved me for who I was. I'd hope you'd find someone like that, someone who understands and loves you unconditionally.
It might hurt sometimes, but that's how you know it's real. Love isn't always easy, but it's the most beautiful thing.
I would want you to know that it's okay to make mistakes though. I made plenty, and each one taught me something valuable. The key is to learn from them, to grow and become a better person. But each moment, whether good or bad, shapes who you are.
I wish I could have been there to guide you through it all, to help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the victories. My motto has been “Still I Rise” for the longest time and if you wanted it could’ve been yours as well.
Life isn't about being perfect; it's about being true to yourself and striving to be the best version of you.
In the quieter moments I still dream about you, you know. In my dreams, you're a whirlwind of energy, your laughter filling the air. We go on adventures, explore the world together. I teach you what I know, and you teach me about everything else.
Those dreams are my sanctuary, a place where we can be together, even if just for a moment.
Sometimes, I catch myself talking to you out loud, as if you were right beside me. I tell you about my day, about the races, about the world. It might sound silly, but it brings me comfort. It's my way of keeping you close, of making sure you're never forgotten.
Even though we never got to meet, you are a part of me, and I carry you in my heart every day.
You are my greatest loss, but also my greatest gift. You've taught me more about love than anything else in this world.
Sometimes, under a sky full of stars, I imagine you up there with the constellations, looking down at me with curious eyes. And I need you to know that we love you still, deeply and unconditionally.
Ten years old. A whole person with your own personality, dreams, and wishes.
The world missed out on knowing you, and so did I.
But your memory, my precious child, it lives on. It lives on in the way I cherish every moment, every sunrise, every laugh shared with a friend. It lives on in the way I try to be a better person, kinder, someone who would have been a good dad to you.
This letter is my vow written down. A promise that even though you're not here, you'll never be forgotten.
Happy birthday, my sweet child. I hope, wherever you are, you're smiling, knowing that you are loved and cherished.
You are my light, my angel and a part of me. And though the path I walk may be lonely sometimes, I carry you and your mom with me in my heart, always.
With all the love that would have filled a lifetime.
Dad.
______________________________________________________________
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#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton imagine#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#lewis hamilton#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic
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Lost cause? 4: Can my happiness ever last?
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader
Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, makeout and kissing mentions, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks (TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+, This is purely a work of FICTION please take it as FICTION only. Therapy and psychological conversations. Tears, guilt, regret and hope maybe?
Word counts: 10.1k approx
Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you.
Authors note: Hello, my lovely readers, or should I call you all my bunnnnys? It sounds cute to me hehe, its a cute little name for my kooksbunnnn family, the readers who wait for me, love me, and read the stories I write. Thank you for waiting so patiently, ily guys. Here's chapter 4, I got a little carried away with words, hence the 10k 👉👈 sorry for the long wait once again, enjoy the chapter now. Bye-bye!
Previous chapter
___________________________________________
Seriously breathe louder Ross
You giggle watching an Instagram reel of a scene from friends where a pregnant Rachel snaps at Ross, who was just standing as you put another grape into your mouth from the container Jungkook packed for you with washed grapes.
As you scroll through the comments on the mentioned reel, you can't help but read some of the comments,
Comment: Rachel has such pretty hair.
True. You always wanted to try her hairstyles.
Comment: people should appreciate how the writers gave every female character a different kind of motherhood and different experiences, and it’s beautiful how they portrayed every feeling. Also, I can't imagine how one of them had a miscarriage in real.
Miscarriage. This word itself makes your body shiver with fear, and you immediately feel your throat get heavy. You shake your head at this and scroll further, not wanting to cry for the 6th time on the same day.
Comment: Being pregnant is a magical experience, sure, but it's a whole ass rollercoaster of emotions, and you won't be ready for the amount of mood swings that come with it.
Yea, No shit.
Comment: I love how Rachel had a character development nobody ever expected.
Mhm. True.
Comment: Can’t believe how they ended up together even after Ross cheated on her.
That got personal, guess it was time to delete Instagram.
Month 6 and a half, day 188 since that night and you’re surprisingly alive. The night your heart got broken and you didn't think you would make it through 2 months of life.
More like, you didn't think you could make it alone, without Jungkook. Technically? Yes, you couldn't live without seeing him or hearing him for the start of your pregnancy and now he is always around you.
Always around. Helping you sit, eat, drink, lie, puke, pee, and all this while being at his respectable distance from you.
“Cut yourself some slack, you're growing someone inside you. It's okay to be dependent while you're going through so much..” that's what your mom said when you asked her about your future and if it was a mistake going through with this.
Looking back to her advice from weeks ago you feel like you are being a little hard on yourself. Therapy. Sonograms. Lamaze classes, doctor appointments, morning-afternoon-evening sickness, hormones, mood swings, and whatnot. You feel excited for your baby to come into the world but would it be wrong if you said you were scared?
When you asked these questions to the people around you these were the answers:
Mom: “Yes honey, of course, it’s okay to be scared. Your life will change, and sometimes you feel like you won't know what you’re doing, but trust me having kids is a tiring but very beautiful experience.”
Dad: “Sweetie, it's completely normal. Your mom used to freak out a lot as well when she had you. We’re here for you, it's all gonna be okay.
Namjoon’s wife, Binna: “I have seen my sister go through it and I am gonna be honest, it is difficult and the delivery is gonna be tough but the results make it all worth it. I am so excited to start my family one day, too!”
Jin’s wife: “It's a little nerve-wracking, to be honest, but it's the best thing Y/N, trust me I have never cried harder than when I saw that my test results were not accurate, I was heartbroken. Trust me, this is the best thing that would happen to you.”
Namjoon, Jin, and Jimin in different words but similar contexts: “I don't know much about how you're feeling right now so I can't say I understand but trust me, I’ll be by your side and our dumb little brother’s side always. We’re a family, Y/N.”
Hobi and Taehyung came together while you and Jungkook were having dinner: We have seen our sisters and relatives go through pregnancy, and it honestly looks so overwhelming. We respect women more every day. We’re here always, just one call away.” They had said with smiles on their faces.
Yoongi: “I am not good with words or comforting people, Y/N, but I just wanna assure you that I am always here. All of us will be there for you both. It's not gonna be easy for you, mentally or body-wise, but never feel alone. You’re our family and always will be, no matter what.” He said, patting you like you were a kid while Jungkook sniffled sitting by your side in your sitting area.
The most common advice everyone gave was: Be easy with yourself, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You’re going through a lot.
And it was true. You and Jungkook have been working on your relationship’s progress ever since your first session, and somehow it was going pretty well. You had dinner together and he made sure he attended the sonography sessions and therapy sessions with you.
You had regular sessions together and Ms. Shin recommended you both try talking about the future ahead. No definite planning, just talking about the options.
Wall paints, cradles, toys, shopping, diaper brands, baby food, everything you could see in the future around your baby. Since the biggest reason for fixing your relationship was because of your baby, you needed to familiarize yourself sitting around talking about the little person gluing you both together.
So you both decided to have dinner together daily and decided to make a pre-baby diary while eating. Yes, it was Jungkook’s idea. It's been 8 days since the last therapy session and you have already listed the paint options for the baby’s room, went maternity clothes shopping with your husband and browsed some cradle options.
All was well, right?
On the outside, yes. In your ovaries? No.
♡♡♡
The lingering attraction you so badly tried to avoid for the past week is still lingering in the air around you. You roll your eyes as you feel embarrassment creep up your neck at how dumb you have been behaving around your husband.
You feel emotional, horny and everything at once. Absolutely mental.
“I don't think I am normal anymore.”
The therapist watches you utter the sentence with a manic like chuckle. She must be thinking you're insane. You notice how her hand freezes for a mini second and then continues to pass you the glass filled with water.
“My question, however, Mrs Jeon, was how did your weekend shopping go, but you can still go on. Why would you think such a thought?” Your therapist calmly asks you after waiting for your response to her earlier question for a good minute.
You finally take the glass of water in her hand stretched towards you after muttering a low ‘thankyou’.
After what happened with you and Jungkook and his damn damp hair, you were freaking out. One moment you were feeling like you could cry out of embarrassment but the next moment you wanted to make out with him in the kitchen while he wore his white dress shirt and those grey joggers you always loved.
Okay. You know this is weird, hence the embarrassment. Duh?! Earlier you weren't able to control the urges you felt, the mood swings, the craving, and now?! This fucking arousal.
You made an appointment with your doctor as soon as you woke up the following morning, hoping she would prescribe some pills or any kind of medications to reduce the arousal you felt but it didn’t help you much because there was no way of completely avoiding that.
The doctor didn’t suggest you take the pills that might’ve helped you because you already had a lot of mood swings and anxiety episodes, those pills could’ve worsened them. She makes sense, a lot of sense but only when you thought about it with a cool head.
But at that moment, while she was telling you all that? It's just safe to say you can grit your anger in between your teeth.
Now you were sitting in front of your therapist hoping she would help you reverse the psychology or something which would help you not feel horny for your husband.
‘Your husband who betrayed you and was now trying to make up for what he did which you were okay with and hoping for everything to be better one fucking day ago but now you feel like you wanna kiss him so badly it makes you dizzy’
It was like a mantra, hecheatedhecheatedhecheated, so that you don't pull him in to kiss the shit out of his cute little face.
When you say the same things you thought, your therapist nodded her head noting something down in her notepad. Maybe she thought you were mental.
“Mrs Jeon, I would suggest you control your sexual urges towards your husband by trying to remove yourself from the room he’s in. Considering he doesn’t sleep with you, but if he does-“ but you cut her sentence in the middle by whispering quickly in his defense.
“No-no he doesn't, he sleeps outside in the lobby.” You shake your head not making eye contact, feeling somehow guilty of your husband's daily discomfort.
“And it's completely okay, Mrs. Jeon, to have your space and have some distance. It doesn't make you a bad person.”
Damn, she is good. You need to give her great ratings. You look up at her and watch as she nods her head with a small smile making you feel at ease.
“Did you talk about this issue with Mr. Jeon?” She asks you, and you shake your head slightly. Why do you feel guilty, and what do you feel guilty of most importantly? Nodding to your reaction, she says, “Would you like to discuss why?”
“Would that even change anything?” You say with a huff a second after she finishes her sentence, frustration evident on your face.
Shrugging she says, “It might make things clearer..” her eyes slowly crinkled due to her hair falling in her eyes. Flicking it away she looks at you slightly tilting her head. “Isn't this what you chose, Mrs Jeon? Being honest is what your relationship needs at this point, isn’t it?
Sighing you realize how you might be running away from things, after all, you chose this journey. You both did and somehow you feel you might be turning into an obstacle towards a better family life, yourself.
Turning your head towards the plant in the room’s corner, you speak with a distant voice, “I don't know, All that I have gathered from the problems I have had in my life is that I could win any kind of battle if it were against my mind but if it's my heart I am fighting against? It's a fucking lost cause.”
“What do you think is the reason you would be fighting your heart, Mrs jeon?”
You scoff whipping your head towards her, eyes glistening. Digging your nails before saying what you feel just on the tip of your tongue,
“I love him.”
There's a pause, followed by your therapist humming.
“I love him so much I wanna forgive him and try to make things better but..”
“But..?”
Another pause. A suffocating one.
“I can't seem to do that to myself or my kid. What kind of an example would I be if I give in to something that's not right?!” After you notice how your expressions change into a frustrated scowl in the tiny mirror behind your therapist's head you feel your tears start to fall off.
“I am sorry.” You say sniffling and somehow embarrassed of your feelings taking over you.
“It's okay, Mrs. Jeon, here..” she offered you the tissue kept on her desk, and you wiped your tears chuckling at your situation.
You wince minutely when you reminisce how your last session went with Ms. Shin.
How did your life get to where it was? You have no absolute fucking clue.
♡♡♡
One moment you were crying because you can't forget the night he told you that he cheated on you and one moment you cried because you wanna hug him and then cry into his chest about how your hormones wanted you to kiss him but you can't because then you would cry about how you shouldn't be feeling like this about someone who betrayed you, then again you cry because you can't forget how he betrayed you.
It's like a frustrating cycle. A cycle you wanna throw off of a freaking dam to let it drown and maybe rust when the water starts to break the metal. Maybe that would help break it because there was no way in hell you could succeed in breaking it.
Not to mention how you have to pee every minute of the day and then crave pickles with some honey on them while sitting on the toilet seat.
Sounds tasty, right? Yeah, you shake your head in a quick no too as soon as you step outside and think how pickles would rather taste better with peanut butter on it.
As you deal with your tears and the spasmodic hand stomping on the pillow or table around you to let go of the kissy-kissy thoughts in your head, your husband stays clueless.
Not clueless about the hormones, na-ah.
Just the fact that you stare at him before you slap your hand on the table, or thump down the cup on the table too harshly for anyone to not notice. He tried to ask you if you felt okay. But ended up getting yelled at for not leaving you alone.
You once yelled at him for leaving the windows open which you asked to be left open, saying he should’ve known better when to close them.
This looks cute in shows and movies of how cute the mother-to-be looks yelling at a clueless husband but you on the other hand feel bad for making him feel actually at fault when he has been trying his best to make you feel comfortable.
What does he do after getting yelled at? He apologizes, does what you asked or yelled at him to do, and leaves. He still comes back and eats the dinner your mother made with you and your dad helping her out.
You feel terrible for how you are behaving around him, the worst part being that he takes everything you do and say to him without even reacting ever so slightly. You tried living life with him normally but you can’t forget the thought that lingers in the back of your head; that the favorite part of living your life with him was the affection, the touches.
It's frustrating to say the least that you haven't even hugged him in the last few months, you know that there is a reason behind the distance but since your mind tells you to create boundaries and try things again, your heart doesn’t understand how someone could try to make things better from a distance. Especially you and Jungkook.
He did everything according to how you needed without you telling him. Your childhood therapist once told you no matter how perfect a person tried to be there are certain situations where you can’t control the things the universe decides for you. She said that when you were having trouble accepting that you were the reason one of your ex-best friends changed schools, stating that you made her feel insecure. You had no idea.
So you accepted your fate, then and now as well. Doing things as they go in the flow. You had a discussion with your parents about how you are supposed to be having dinner with Jungkook as advised by your therapist so your mom and dad eat their dinner by 7 o’clock as advised by their doctors while you accompany them by having your soup or tea.
They thought it was a good idea so you agreed to do it.
By 9 o’clock or quarter to 9 Jungkook enters and you have your dinner and the discussion you are supposed to have about the baby.
It has been 15 minutes since your mom and dad went to their room after insisting on sitting with you while you wait for Jungkook to be back. You have your phone in your hand which starts to buzz with Jungkook’s name on the screen with the bunny emoji.
Picking up with a smile you answer to his voice.
God, you missed him.
Yep, you said it.
Picking up he seems like he is on the way and is trying to get his phone back from someone. “Hyung give me my phone back, hold his hands Yoongi hyung, hey-!” yes he was snatching his phone back.
You can hear a bunch of yelling noises in the background and you recognize the screaming voice immediately, Jimin. You shake your head at the chaos and smile putting a grape in your mouth.
“Hey, Y/N I am sorry I am a little late, I just wanted to ask if it's okay with me to bring Jimin and Yoongi Hyung over to your parent's house we have a bit of a situation on our hands.”
“Yeah, of course, kook, it's okay. Is everything okay though?”
Silence.
“Hello?”
“What did you call me?”
Your eyes widen at how you didn't even realize how normal this felt to you. You haven't called him Kook ever since you cried in his car after your first therapy session, always walking on eggshells.
“Y/N?”
Courage. Squeezing your fist and eyes shut you say,
“I called you k-kook. Is that not okay?”
Your leg starts to shake not knowing what to say next.
“No! Fuck, I mean it's more than okay. You know what? Let's not talk about it I don't wanna jinx it.” You can hear him smile and you can't help but widen your smile. It has been so long since you smiled this wide and you somehow feel better.
You repeat the words in your head, Don't feel guilty Y/N, go with it. Go with the flow. Cut yourself some slack. You’re going through a lot, be easy on yourself.
You smile and hear him chuckle before-
“Oh, no hyung not in my car ugh, we’ll be there in 5 minutes Y/N, I’ll reheat the food when I get there don't worry. Yoongi Hyung push his head out the window please-” And he hangs up.
Smiling at the chaotic phone call, you get up to check on your mom and dad if they are still up, wanting to tell them about the guests coming over. But since they were soundly asleep with the nightlights on, you switch them off, regulate the fan's speed, and take the phone from your sleeping-snoring mom’s hand plugging it to the charger and checking if they had water around them.
After checking up on your parents you close the door to their room and walk towards the kitchen to drink some water. Even the small activities could make a pregnant lady tired and the jug in your room was empty so you walked slowly towards the fridge. The pain getting better but still evident in your lower back which makes you put a hand on your back while you open the refrigerator.
Suddenly you spot a Harley bike model Jungkook gifted your father when he came home to meet your parents for the first time. Your father was really happy seeing the model, him being a Harley fan. If age didn't play a role in life your father would've still been traveling with your mom like those couples you saw in uni.
You remember how you and Jungkook loved to travel on his bike, you holding onto him as if your life depended on it, hair flowing from under the helmet and him accelerating the bike through the streets, hills, and empty roads leading to the cabin the whole group planned to visit during his and Namjoon’s collective birthday celebration.
Damn, you were so in love. Still are, and will probably always be.
The group has always been there for you, they're like the family you never knew you needed until they came into your life. The chaos was a part of your life, the screams, the teasing, the weekend game nights, the celebrations, movie nights which turned into everybody and their girlfriends crashing in the lobby on the mattresses Jungkook bought for the night stays.
You remember what the situation was when you met him for the first time six years ago.
♡♡♡
“Damnit Tae, jump outta here.” You argue with Taehyung as the three of you look out the window of your room.
“Fuck no. Are you mental? I’ll die if I jump out of here.” Taehyung says whisper yelling at your roommate, Aeri, who rolls her eyes at her dramatic “friend” panicking with wide eyes.
“No, you won't, don’t be dramatic.” You scoff as you push him slightly in the windows direction.
“It's a whole ass floor Y/N, the fuck is wrong with you?” He scowls at you as he regains balance panicking.
“Maybe we should call Jungkook.”
“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook with that loud-ass bike? Nice. Sneaking a boy out of our room with the help of another boy. Fan-fucking-tastic, Taehyung.” You clap two times with a straight face.
“Guys,” your friend giggles as she tries to focus on the main topic in the room, while Taehyung goes back to sit on your roommate’s bed.
“I think he is right, Y/N, we could at least get help from JK.”
“Mhm, help in getting kicked out.” You mumble not so quietly earning yourself a middle finger from Taehyung and an eyeroll from Aeri.
“Fine, do whatever you want.” You say rolling your eyes.
The thing was you were only partly nervous because of your forced eviction but also because you had never met Jungkook, the campus crush. More like the crush of every girl who saw him on his bike. You were not one of them, at least you wouldn't admit that but you wouldn't deny that he was a pretty face to look at and a very hot piece of ass to stare at. The proportions of that man were totally insane.
Tiny waist, big- biteable chest, broad shoulders, thick thighs, luscious hair locks, biceps people could hang on, the all-black outfit, and the very contrasting facial features. If he wore a helmet people wouldn't imagine how the guy had big doe boba eyes and a cute mole under his lips, skin better than half of the girls who spent so much on products. He always had that glint in his eyes making him seem so innocent, innocent but with a physique that can crush people.
You never talked to him so you don't know how he sounds or if he is a rude person. You just know he is Taehyung’s friend whom he hangs out with around the campus.
While you thought about how Jungkook might or might not be your crush, Taehyung called him and you all got up to sneak him out of the house.
“Wait you don't need to come if you don't want to Y/N,” Aera said after looking around the hallways and telling Taehyung to tiptoe downstairs since her aunt’s room was on the same floor as yours.
“H-Huh? N-no I wanna go as well. So that if she wakes up I can tell her we both went out to get some fresh air while the guys ran away y-you know? “
You said. Terrible at lying. You wanted to see the man coming to save his friend.
Your friend was in a hurry sneaking her fuck buddy out so she didn't pay attention to what you said and how you said it. A total stuttering mess.
Walking out of the house you never imagined him to be so..so..so tasty. Thats the only words that come to your mind. He parked his bike at a safe distance because of how much noise it made and approached you guys.
The image in your hand was like the 480p version of how beautiful and ethereal he was but in reality, he had tattoos. Tattoos! Not even a small one, a whole arm that stretched inside his white sleeveless tee.
You thanked the cloth gods for making this particular article of clothing because you needed to see how hot men you would want to eat up looked in it.
“Told you, you would need my help.” He smirks as Taehyung walks past him only turning around to come back and give Aera a quick kiss and then running away again, making her blush.
“Run dumbass, their landlord would skewer us on her cane,” Taehyung says and you chuckle at how exaggerated he made Aera’s aunt sound. At your chuckle, Jungkook looks at you and you pause mid-laugh when you notice him looking at you.
“Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He extends his hand towards you and you blush not knowing how to respond to his raspy voice.
“Yeah, I know you.” You say staring at him with heat on your cheeks and immediately kick yourself mentally.
You sound like a fucking creep. I know you? seriously?
He smiles, “..and you are..?
“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to be rude I’m Y/N, Hi heh.” You extend your hand to shake his and he whispers your name under his breath eyes still looking into yours.
“Hi Y/N, you’re very pretty.” While he rubs his thumb on your already heating skin making it burst into flames as he rubs it again.
“Kook!” Taehyung yells and you break the eye contact, taking your hand back.
“It's okay don't be sorry, I didn't find you rude rather, I found you cute.” He says as you look at him again. You think it was an imagination of your beauty-struck head or maybe it was due to dark but..did he just check you out?
You give him a confused look at what he said, making him chuckle. He sounds so deliciously hot and raspy. God.
“That you know who I am, considering how you’re always in the art studio. I found it cute.” He says with a smile leaning slightly towards your face and you lean back at the same time he leans in. He stays towering over you and maybe notices your expressions. You just hope he didn't notice how red your cheeks might be.
Does he know about the art studio? Only people close to you knew about it.
Seeing your wide eyes, he straightens up to his original height and chuckles. He sounds so good, it reaches inside you and you knew that you were fucked.
“Kook?” You didn't even notice when Taehyung came back to drag his friend back. Slapping his shoulder and then sprinting towards the bike again.
“Kook, let's go. She switched on some kind of light in her room oh god. She’ll beat your and my asses collectively.” Taehyung yells waving his friends over.
“Hey we’re gonna be in the beat party as well, Y/N lets go,” Aera speaks from the driveway of her aunt's house, slowly retrieving her steps.
But you were stuck. Stuck on how his bunny teeth played with the piercing on his lips. Not being able to bear eye contact with him, you flicked your eyes away.
When Taehyung yelled again from a distance, Jungkook responded with a ‘yea yea coming’ while stepping backward with his white sleeveless tee sticking to his body.
Generally, you didn't like summers but you were so glad it was hot enough that he decided to wear a sleeveless outfit, for you to ogle his tattoos.
Taehyung and Aera are already away from the both of you, Taehyung at a safer distance from the house and Aera still waiting for you at the house hoping her aunt just woke up for her nightly washroom trips and didn't see you guys with these beautiful men.
With a smile on his face, he stepped back facing you. Clicking his tongue twice to get your attention, you looked at him to immediately regret locking eyes with him. He winked at you and said, “See you around, sweetheart.”
You swear you saw his eyes flitting to your lips and then to your skirt that was flowing with the slight wind in the surroundings before he turned around and ran towards his panicking friend.
You knew he was casually flirting and was out of your league. And since you didn't believe your luck would suddenly turn out to be on your side you didn't think of his wink as something more than something casual.
But goddamnit, the crush you never admitted to, was finally admitted in your heart.
♡♡♡
You smile as you pick the model in your hand at the fond memories of how you tried so hard to remain just friends with the guy even though he hung out with you daily, accompanied you in your art studio confirming he knew about you before meeting you. You never knew your friendship could be more than what it was but maybe growing up and getting jobs made you want to prioritize yourself and your wants, so you decided to tell him how you felt but he beat you to it three days before you planned on confessing.
“Sorry sweetheart, wanted to kiss you as my girlfriend on Valentine's Day without the fear of rejection in the back of my brain.” That's what he said before he kissed the living daylights out of you on the gazebo at your favorite park.
You smile remembering how he took you to the park saying the cherry blossoms were blooming early that year, you believed him nodding with excitement and you went along with him running and holding hands. Reaching there you were sad that no blossoms were blooming but then he gave you the promise ring he ordered from the vintage store you loved so much. You knew it cost him a lot but when you asked him about it he just chuckled deeply avoiding that question and before you could pick that topic again he kneeled on one knee and asked you to be his girlfriend officially.
You smile at the memories and keep the bike model back on the shelf, the flashback coming to a halt as you come back to the living room when your phone buzzes with your husband's name on it.
He didn't ring the doorbell nowadays to be cautious in case your parents were asleep. So you went to the door and opened it already expecting Jimin leaning on Jungkook’s shoulders while Yoongi just snickered at his younger brother, seeming unconscious but Jimin was very much awake, also very very drunk as he clung to Yoongi telling him everything was going to be okay. Jungkook held three bags as he gave you a sheepish smile at his Hyungs’ behavior.
“Yes, Yes, Jimin. It's gonna be okay.” Yoongi held Jimin very firmly while giving you a small smile before asking where to put him so that he could blubber nonsense somewhere your neighbors wouldn't hear.
Jungkook chuckles and leads them to the guest room while muttering a ‘hi’, looking at you from head to toe as if checking if you had any injuries.
“Hi,” you whisper, enough for him to catch your voice.
“How was your day?” You ask trying to take the bags from his hand but he tilts his body giving you a look that says ‘Really?’.
Sighing with a smile, you close the door and follow him inside.
“It was good- Oh shit the guest room door is locked. Wait hyung let me get the key” he put the bags on the counter while a grunting Yoongi held a wobbly Jimin in his hands.
“Wow realized it so soon,” Yoongi says sarcastically l as Jimin looks at you with a smile on his face. Gasping dramatically, he removes himself from his brother's shoulders and comes towards you, slightly tilted, but he somehow reaches you.
“I can see your baby.” Your eyes widen at what he said and you scoff a laugh as Jimin kneels down in front of your belly.
“He means you’re showing, and he is noticing that now, only, he sounds creepy as fuck.” Yoongi walks back to the sofa and sits down with a long sigh.
“May I please?” He says as hovers his hands over your belly with big puppy eyes and you chuckle at how patiently he wants you to answer.
“Yes, Jimin you may.” You say with a laugh and he whispers to your tummy hovering his hand above it like it's a crystal ball.
“Hi tiny person, I am Jimin, your godfather..” he giggles at the end of his sentence while you hear Yoongi chuckle from the couch.
“The fuck? When did we decide that hyung?” Jungkook stands next to you with keys hanging from his fingers, narrowed gaze focused on his elder brother.
“Shhhhhh” Jimin shushes Jungkook loudly almost spitting on your belly. You laugh as he looks pointedly at Jungkook.
“You don’t get to decide that. Dumbass.” Jimin slurs out and tries to get up grabbing the trousers Jungkook wore, almost making him fall over with his weight.
“Hyung, fuck you’re heavy when drunk.”
“I fucking know right? I don’t know how that happens..” Yoongi mumbles typing something on his phone, stretching his neck sideways to pop the strained muscle.
Jungkook stumbles while you also try to help him balance Jimin by bending slightly to keep a hand on his shoulders, but then you remove it as Jungkook whispers ‘I got him I got him’ assuringly not wanting you to take any strain.
Smiling to yourself you walk over to the couch adjacent to where Yoongi was sitting, asking if he needed water or anything like that.
“Nah I’m good. Thanks.” He waves his hand as he keeps his phone aside watching how Jungkook manages to drag Jimin back.
“...You’ll look good in a tutu as well..” Jimin says to Jungkook poking a finger to his sides continuously. “You know a white one with stars on it, I’ll gift it to the baby so that you can match your outfits then” Jungkook rolls his eyes in annoyance as Jimin’s voice fades into the guest room Jungkook opens for him to sleep in.
“Let me go check up on him yeah?” Yoongi says softly getting up from the couch, picking up a banana on the way to the guest room. Raising one of his brows and the fruit in the air as if asking for permission to eat it. You tilt your head with narrowed eyes passing on the message, ‘You have to ask?’
He smiles slightly shrugging and heads towards the guest room while pealing the banana.
“Jungkook, is he under control now or still wobbly- oh, fuck no-“ Yoongi asks from outside of the room but then pauses in his tracks as you hear Jungkook whine slightly out of disgust and you immediately get up feeling a slight ache in your lower back due to the hurry.
“Is everything okay?” You ask concern evident in your eyes.
Yoongi chuckles and moves away from the door, shaking his head. “Not gonna eat this now, sorry, Y/N.” He says, still laughing.
“Oh no did he-“Before you could say something Jungkook stomps his way out of the guest room and you immediately feel nausea entering you seeing your husband's sleeve covered in vomit.
“Hyung could you please help me heat the food? I’m gonna go take a shower, sorry hyungie just please-“ he continues walking towards the common bathroom at the end of the hall.
“Sure” Yoongi chuckles moving towards the fridge.
“I’ll help you..” you take a step towards the crockery cupboard.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll do it, you sit.” He says pausing you midway.
“No Yoongi lemme help..” you say but he just points the small spoon towards the island chair.
“It's okay Y/N I’ll do it.” He says nodding while opening the Tupperware filled with the various side dishes and the tofu-miso stew.
“I just don't wanna trouble you Yoongi, thanks though.” You say giving up on offering help as he heats the food one by one in the microwave.
“Oh it's not for free, I am taking the godfather’s title in exchange for this.” He smirks glancing at the room Jimin slept in.
“Yeah okay, try beating Jimin for the title. You chuckle looking in the same direction for a second and then at the man heating up the food. While he just gives you a small laugh while warming up the rice in the cooker, mumbling, “We’ll see who wins.”
You smile and pat your feet on the ground in a rhythm as Yoongi places the food on the kitchen island. You feel guilty for making him do this but he has already rejected your help three times so there was no point in arguing over it.
“Y/N?” Yoongi whispers looking at a plate in his hand.
“Yea?”
“I know it's none of my business and I should not even say something about this but can I just say it's really nice that you’re trying again?” He says lifting his head to look at your reaction to what he said.
You feel yourself freeze, this is the first time you had a conversation about your situation with Jungkook, the cheating, and the decision to try again. You sure talked about the pregnancy and yes there was always that lingering awkwardness in the air but this was new.
“Yea..” you sigh looking at your lap for a second and then lifting your head to give him a soft smile.
“Not everyone is lucky enough to get a chance to revive their relationship.” He says still looking at the plate while tracing the pattern on it with his index finger.
You know that his relationship ended badly, you knew how much he loved his girlfriend, you know he acts like it's okay but his dark circles tell another story, you know he looks thin and exhausted all the time but acts like it's nothing.
You know it's not nothing.
“Yoongi, I am sorry about-“But before you could finish your sentence he laughs almost in pain.
“It's okay Y/N, it's done, she is gone. She is happy without me and I can't change that.” He says and you feel your heart break at how small he sounds.
“It sucks but it's true.” He says softly, half to you half to himself, still trying to process his grief over the relationship he lost. After an uncomfortable pause, he continues.
“I saw him Y/N,” he points his chin in the direction of the washroom Jungkook was taking a shower in when you look at him confused at the change of topic.
“..and don't think I am taking his side 'cause he is like a brother to me but I say this honestly, he was devastated while he was away from you.” You just stare at him with eyes round and wide not expecting this conversation to go this way.
“He forgot to eat and sleep, just kept asking Jin Hyung and me if we saw you or if any other of guys saw you.” He says while you look at him nervously talking about the topic, picking his nails.
“Do you remember the time you were at the hospital due to your abdominal pain?” You nod at his question feeling your throat tighten up uncomfortably so you divert your gaze down at the plate with little blue flowers printed on the ceramic.
“He ran to the hospital since his car was still parked at your previous address.” Your eyes widen and you whip your head toward the man standing in front of you.
What does he mean he ran?
“What?” You whisper.
“Taehyung had a night shift and he was alone at the apartment. I tried to tell him to wait for me to pick him up when he called to ask if Taehyung left office or not, but he just hung up saying it would take too long.”
“So he ran to you.” You feel your throat tighten as humanly possible, eyes burning.
Wasn’t Taehyung’s house almost double times the way compared to your route connecting your house to the hospital? You can't even comprehend how he felt when you didn't even talk to him that day.
Shouldn’t you feel like he deserved to feel like that? Shouldn't you say that he did that to himself? That was what you should've said right? But your heart thumps harder every second making your eyes spill the tears gathering in them.
You remember Jungkook was really out of breath and was also wearing different slippers that day.
“Since it was pretty late, he couldn't even book a cab quickly..” Yoongi looks at you and notices how your gaze is zeroed onto him and immediately understands your expressions.
“Hey, I am not trying to make you feel bad or something like that, what he did and what you guys decided is totally none of my business but I just wanted to tell you that giving a second chance is not easy and I really wish things work out for your relationship. I really appreciate you both working through so much stress you know? I can see what his vision meant when he wanted to quit last month.”
“What?” You whisper
“No no, he doesn't want to quit now, I mean after what you both decided Namjoon talked to Mr. Park and handled it..” when Yoongi doesn’t see you respond to whatever he said he realizes that you look lost.
“You don't know, do you?”
“Don't know what?” You whisper again, heart racing. Why do you feel you're not gonna like what he is gonna say?
There is a pause, a very uncomfortable pause. He visibly scans your face and inhales sharply as if deciding against or in favor of telling you about the whole situation.
You clench your pajama pants into your fists as your hand rests on your lap. The kitchen felt stuffy all of a sudden. This might seem like an overreaction but your body feels defensive all of a sudden, deciding between running away or ripping the bandaid off.
Deciding on the latter you ask,
“Yoongi, please tell me?” You request softly and at your almost inaudible request, Yoongi sighs, giving up. He shuts his eyes for a second and then looks up smiling sadly at you.
You hold your breath.
“Um, he was promoted to be the next VP of the agency, and uh..” he rubs the back of his neck looking away, avoiding the eye contact with you.
“And he rejected it?” You whisper and Yoongi nods, still not looking at you.
“The job required him to give more time into his job, more hours away from home. From you and her.” He looks at you and then points his chin in your tummy’s direction.
“So when they told him the details about the hours and the business trips, he immediately refused. Since he was the most eligible person for the job, the CEO, Mr Park..” he says,
“Mr. Park.” You say at the same time nodding.
“Yes, Mr. Park tried convincing him saying he’ll adjust according to your due date and whatever changes Kook would want to his schedule but this kid..” Yoongi chuckles shaking his head, “..rejected it, saying if he had to quit the job he would do it but he would not add onto whatever hours he was working.”
“Then suddenly..” Yoongi picks up a tangerine from the fruit bowl and starts peeling it.
“He came up with an idea of actually quitting in order to give more time to you and your child, so when Namjoon said and I quote, ‘Y/N is gonna kill you if you do that, she knows how much you worked for this’ Jungkook said that you both decided mutually that rejecting the promotion was okay and you were okay with whatever he decided about his job. Which…looking at you right now doesn't seem like it.” Yoongi looks at you with a hesitant expression, offering you the peeled fruit.
You feel your ears heat up and not out of good reason, you are actually mad at him. You were hearing all of this for the first time and you can't believe he backed off from the job he got offered after working so hard. The reason he used to work his ass off, extra time, no holidays, always punctual, not caring about his meals and whatnot, and then just fucking backed off?
"When was this?" You say gritting your teeth, eyes glistening with angry tears, eyes still on Yoongi.
You take the piece of fruit from his hand and shove it in your mouth, eyes red with tears in them.
“Y/N..”
“Why didn't he tell me? And wait a minute he said it was a mutual decision?! What the hell?”
“Y/N, he must have had a reason for saying so, he did explain the reasons and it sounded like he gave it a lot of thought. “
“Don’t you mean WE gave it a lot of thought? hah.” You say chuckling bitterly, swallowing the fruit, your hand going through your hair in frustration as you face the direction where your husband showers unaware of the angry volcano on the other side of the bathroom door.
“What the hell is wrong with him?!” You almost scream but lower your voice remembering your parents are asleep, immediately looking around warily and Yoongi does the same, with similar expressions on his face.
“Sorry, I just feel so mad right now.” You say squeezing your eyes shut, speaking through your teeth.
“I guess you should talk to him,” he says looking at you softly.
“You’re damn right I will-“ you say
“But not now, privately, okay?”
You look at him breathing heavily, cheeks wet with tears, his eyes pleading to not lose your calm immediately. You look at his anger and countless emotions swirling in your mind, nose flaring.
“Ah, okay fine.” You say throwing your hands in frustration, coming back to wipe the tears off your cheeks.
The next few minutes Yoongi tried not to talk about anything and you just swirled your spoon in the spoon Yoongi served for you. He constantly made sure you were sipping the soup, giving you water, and peeling another tangerine for you.
He almost sighed in relief when the bathroom door clicked open and Jungkook came out of the washroom. The steam rushed out of the white-tiled space along with a drippy Jungkook and a goddamned towel around his waist.
You feel madder now. Is that even a word? You don't care because that's how you feel. Madder.
Remember when you said how your emotions were on a roll these days? Yea. It was an understatement because the moment you saw your husband with that damned towel hanging low on his hips your anger turned into angry horniness, you wished, only for a second, but wished Yoongi wasn't here so that you could straddle the half-naked guy and ask him about the stupid decision he made.
Although Jungkook had immediately rushed into the room to get some clothes on him it was enough to make your ovaries light up on fire. You're mad and horny, two things that don't go well for you. Especially not in this state.
"Hey guys I am sorry, I had to wash off all that puke stench. Why didn't you guys start eating yet?"
"I don't know maybe you took very long to shower." You snap at your husband and he freezes in his tracks to get the plate.
"Y/N, I was there for only 10 mins."
“I don't know, felt like 10 years."aAt your tone Jungkook looks at you concerned and then at Yoongi who watches awkwardly, the whole scene unfolding in front of him.
"Guys you know what I think I am gonna head home, I have eaten with Jimin earlier and need sleep."
“No- yoongi eat please-“ you request feeling guilty for making him awkward.
“Yes hyung, please finish your dinner.” Jungkook says, looking at his hyung but then flicking his gaze back at you.
“No no its really okay.” Yoongi says, already walking away from the island.
"Okay, hyung." He says after a second his eyes wandering back to you observing your sour mood. Eyebrows furrowed with thought while you just chewed on the rice mixed with the curry not looking at Jungkook after waving to Yoongi.
Yoongi walks towards the doorway with slow steps, the footsteps echoing along with the tinkled spoon made inside the curry bowl. He grabs the keys and walks towards the two of you, giving you a nod and patting Jungkook’s back.
"Take care Y/N and you too, kook." He stares two seconds longer at the younger male and then nods at him. Jungkook gets up halfway to which Yoongi waves in a signal for Jungkook to not bother seeing him off.
The door clicks shut leaving you and Jungkook in silence.
"Y/N wha-"
"Eat, Jungkook."
At your stern tone, Jungkook flinches and just resumes eating in silence. Silence for almost 10 minutes. 10 slow and irritating minutes. It was like the clock ticked 10 seconds forward and then 40 seconds backward. The silence added to the awkwardness you both felt, making the time more unbearable.
Again, did you mention slow?
All the thoughts come back to your mind, every emotion holding your neck in a chokehold, everything that you’ve felt since the day started comes back. The conversation with your mom about how she asked you if you wanted to move back in with ever, you thought your mom wanted you to leave so you cried. All the emotions you felt then catching up to you.
The thoughts of being alone with him made you happy and cry at the same time in the afternoon while you finished working on the report your seniors asked you to finish before your leave started. You feel all the emotions you felt while rewatching the notebook in the evening before dinner. You feel all the emotions at once, those emotions which you felt when Jungkook called you from his car and, also when he called you from his office to check if you had your medicine.
The emotions of frustration and anger when Yoongi told you about the job offer and how your husband rejected it. The thoughts about something bad happening to your child come back and make your head dizzy. It's too much at the same time. You're happy that he is eating his food in silence because if he did say anything before you finish, you might actually run to the bathroom to vomit all of your emotions.
After minutes of frustration and anger and sadness and silence, you finally got up and almost threw the plate in the sink, Jungkook tried to get your plate but you just brushed past him huffing finally making Jungkook ask you the question you didn't want to hear and hear at the same time.
You wanted to talk to him about the whole thing and didn't at the same time. You were on an emotional rollercoaster, and Jungkook was gonna be the bird that hit the coaster blades, getting hurt.
"Y/N did I do something wrong?"
"Oh, do you do anything right these days Jungkook? I don't think so." You chuckle throwing the glass of water into the sink thankfully not breaking it.
Turning towards your husband, you immediately regret saying what you said because he just looks like a kicked puppy. Big eyes filled with gloss, nose red, and wobbly chin. His features make you feel like the worst human being on this planet.
"Y/N, I am sorry for whatever it is but can you tell me what's wrong?" He whispers looking- no, pleading with his eyes as you stand like a wall in front of him.
"You tell me, did you do anything to make me feel stupid and pathetic recently?" You say pointedly. Venom. Pure venom.
"Baby.."
"Don’t. Don't call me that." You say firmly.
"Shit- I am sorry Y/N please tell me what happened..wait-" You push yourself away from the counter instantly feeling the pain in your lower back.
“Bab- Y/N wait.” He rushes to your side holding one of your hands and one holding your waist, giving you support but somehow his touch stings, in the best way. You hate your mind and heart. You just hate it.
“No, I can walk myself I am not a toddler.” He doesn't let go of your hand even though you tell him to, he helps you walk towards your room. You try to tell him that you can walk alone but he doesn't listen instead he just hums or mutters 'I know' and it infuriates you more.
Why isn’t he saying anything? You’re literally acting like a spoiled kid right now.
Opening the door he walks you inside the room and helps you sit on the bed. As you take heavy breaths placing a hand on your chest you feel how rapidly your heart raced.
Removing the lid of the glass sitting on your nightstand, he helps you sip some of the liquid. You feel tears in your eyes and when he removes the glass from your lips he just smiles sadly at you and wipes the tears from your face with his thumb.
Leaning into his touch you say, "Why are you okay with me being like this to you?"
Okay, that's a dumb question ask Jeon Y/N, you're mad at him but just looking at him you feel like you are treating him like shit for something he doesn't deserve. Of course, he cheated on you, of course, you want to not love him because of that, and of course, your heart aches when you think of the betrayal but can you ever unlove him? Can you ever hurt him knowing you're gonna hurt him and not feel bad? Can you ever just look at him and feel nothing for him? Can you ever not love him?
Your head feels buzzed and when he speaks and your anger explodes.
"I deserve it, baby." You scrunch his t-shirt in your hand and pull him towards you, making him almost fall on you but he regains his balance by placing one of his hands on the comforter. With wide eyes, he just stares at you and the way your eyes brim with fresh tears. He tilts his head as if feeling guilty for the tears but you don't let him say anything.
"Why?" At this he looks at you confused.
The other tattooed hand finds its way on top of your wrist holding his t-shirt and you feel your sanity fly away for a second but at his confused expression, you feel your anger come back.
"Y/N what-" he sputters with big eyes
"Why did you reject the job offer?" you finally say.
Pin. Drop. Silence.
"What?" he breathes out.
"You think you can make that big of a decision by yourself? " you say sniffling.
"How did you-"
"How did I know? How about, why didn't I know?" You raise your voice slightly and he shuts the door so that your parents don't get their sleep interrupted, tilting slightly towards the entrance, your bed not being that far from the door.
"Y/N I am sorr-" you cut him off mid sentence.
"Sorry? How many things are gonna be okay just because you apologize Jungkook?! It was your dream, you worked so hard for it.." you say feeling tears spill out of your eyes and when he just looks down at your lap with his lips twisted in a straight line guiltily, you can't help but yell at him a bit, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
You didn't realize when your hand shifted from the t-shirt's neckline to his neck. You realize that only when his eyes shut for a second at the feeling of your hands on his face, the other hand coming to sit on top of the comforter on the other side of your body. Holding onto his face you asked him the question with big teary eyes, wet cheeks, and a wobbly chin.
"Tell me, kook?"
Sighing he answers, "Baby, they wanted me to go away."
"Don't lie to me, Jungkook, please. Yoongi told me they were ready to fix the schedule according to you -"
"And you think they were gonna do that for me forever?" He asks.
"Why did you say that I agreed then? Why did you lie? Why didn't you come talk to me? Do you think I wouldn't have understood or that you think it's not important for me to know?"
"Would you have let me quit if I wanted to?" He asked instantly.
You pause. Dammit.
"You see? That's why I didn't tell you. You're already handling so many responsibilities, I didn't wanna worry you more." He says, eyes turning soft.
You look at him. Eyes looking at him trying to find dishonesty, the thing was, Jungkook doesn't lie. Even after he did what he did, he came out to you truthfully. It hurt but you're where you are because he was honest. It's the bare minimum, honesty, but its rare. At least in your experience. But not with Jungkook. He can't lie.
"They were willing to change my schedule for me only until she is born.." he says looking at your tummy and then lifting his eyes to look at you.
"..I can't risk being away from you again. It might sound like I am lying but Y/N, baby, I don't wanna be away from you even for a single second. I wanna prove myself to be worthy of a second chance. I wanna be worthy of you and her. I can’t imagine my life even for a second without you or her. You can push me all you want, you can yell at me all you want but don't tell me that I should've chosen a job and not my family. I know I don’t have an answer for why I did what.." he pauses gulps and continues.
"...I did, I myself don't know why I did it, and trust me if I could turn back the time I would. But baby..." he puts his hand on yours that is resting on his cheek waiting for a second, barely visible, but he waits for some kind of negative reaction to him touching you. When he senses none, he continues,
"...I love you, and I will love you for my whole life, I will love you and my family until I breathe. I am so sorry for fucking things up but I want to fix them, I can fix them, we will fix it. Just don't please.." he squeezes his eyes shut slightly squeezing your hand as well.
"... don't ask me to go away from you. I can't live away from you. I would quit my job if that's what it takes to be with my family, to take care of my family, to take care of you, and to take care of us. Please tell me I can be with you, can you please tell me you don’t want me to go away? Pleas- “
You tell him exactly that, but not verbally because wasn’t it ironic how he feels sorry for not knowing why he did what he did when you don't even think of any second thoughts before you do what you do, without knowing why.
Lips crashing on his, you shut him up with an answer you feel him absorbing inside him. He freezes when you kiss him, his breath stuttering when you move your lips against him. You squeeze his t-shirt in desperate need, and you feel him flutter his eyelids against your cheekbones, your tears mixing with his, and he kisses you back.
Does it last? Does your happiness last? No.
As soon as he moves his lips, you hear him sniffle and break the kiss. His eyes are still red, and his cheeks are slightly wet as well. He sniffles again, but the only sound you can hear is your heartbreaking because he moves away.
Away from the bed. Away from the comforter. Away from the kiss. Away from you.
He gets up and takes a step back, shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut. He curses under his breath as if regaining his composure while you just stare at the space where he was sitting earlier.
“I- I am sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't, I can't. I am really sorry, I shouldn't. I just shouldn't. I am sorry.”
And he leaves the room, shutting the door, not completely but leaving it slightly ajar. It's just like he does always. You hear the kitchen tap opening. He probably is doing the dishes. You hear everything from outside the door, but you feel like there's radio silence in your room.
A low beep-like sound ringing in your ears, embarrassment? Hurt? Love? Anger? Betrayal? Pain? Need? Desire? You feel so much at once, and you don't know what to do with it. This is getting so much more fucked and somehow you both find new ways to make this way tougher than anyone can imagine.
After some time, you hear the lights outside click off, and you can't help but wish he came to you. He does, but only to keep a fresh glass of water on the nightstand. He wishes you good night in a whisper, glancing once at your face and then,
...leaves.
Well, shit.
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#lost cause#bts fic#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#bts one shot#bts drabble#bts fanfction#bangtan sonyeondan#bts au#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook drabble#jeon jungkook x you#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook imagine#jungkook series#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook x yn#jungkook x you#jungkook#jeon jungguk#bts jungkook#bts angst#jungkook angst#jungkook and reader#bts fanfiction#bts fic recs#bts
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I’m back 🐶 thank you for being patient, things are relatively back to normal! Anyways I got some drawings… it’s the actual D&D au now! I’ve got plenty of ideas, but for now this is Alaska and Maine! Alaska is a Druid, circle of stars though his race is unknown (I also don’t have any general cloth ideas for him). It is noted he is very bird-like tho, no wings because he can just have a wild shape/starry form with a pair. Maine is a half human half beast, he’s quite prickly because unfortunately even in this au he still has to deal with the northeast 😒 (long rants of ideas below)
I also have other ideas for other states, but I haven’t drawn them yet. For New Jersey I’m thinking like Nevada he is a fae folk but of a bee; and he was born with deformed and torn wings that resemble the Jersey devil’s. But due to his deformity his “hive” decided to just toss him out because they wanted a big strong community with no one holding them back 😒 so maybe Jersey had to barely survive out there on his own, and in later years NY could’ve found him (I like to think he is a human knight, merely because instead of his bat he can have a sword) and took him in 😌 (and they were roommates)
Another idea I’ve got is for Texas! I would like to think he is a mostly human gunslinger who is legally blind (not totally blind, tho still very blind) but sees thru heat & taste, much like a snake does. Maybe he collects bounties, I haven’t really thought much for his lore yet 🤔 but he is one of the best gunslingers out there despite his disability!
Cali is also one I’ve thought up, I think he could be a dragon rider. A funny idea is that he has a scam where he and his dragon makes this whole act where he pretends to be a princess damsel in distress, being held captive by the big bag dragon and people who come and try to “save” him but it just ends up with Cali robbing them 😒 (love me a big flawed character)
As for Alaska, he’s as stated, a Druid of the circle of stars! He comes from an unknown island (just imagine irl state of Alaska except disconnected to any continent tbh) that’s gatekeeped gaslighted girlbossed because they don’t want no colonizers or anything ofc. But Alaska grew up hearing all about the other outside lands and he wanted to go see it! So one day he ventured into the continents (the one that contains all the other states except for Hawaii) and yaddy yadda; and Alaska is actually very curious and friendly in this au because he doesn’t have the trauma of outsiders 😌 he has a pet(s?) dog with three heads (ofc, Balto Togo and Fido) to accompany him! I haven’t designed his starry forms yet btw. And also he doesn’t really know how his Druid magic works somehow 🧎 it’s mostly innate and learned behaviors and habits and traditions. It just comes naturally to him!
This is the biggest difference between him and Mass with magic, think of Alaska’s Druid magic as traditional and natural, meanwhile Mass’s sorcery as artificial and learned and studied magic. So it’s hard to say who between the two is better at magic
Maine is a half-human-half-beast, he faces discrimination because of it and there aren’t much others like him in at home land. He mostly doesn’t care but the occasional person really gets to him. Not really sure why he is half beast yet tho I don’t have the lore for that. Mass keeps trying to pester Maine about learning magic, as Mass is one of the best magic users in his region (and he’s quite boastful/egotistical because of it) so he believes Maine might be really good too, and Mass wants him to be able to know it when in times of need, but Maine doesn’t really listen 🙄 though he is nimble and quite good at sneaking!
My last minor ideas is that Ginny is a great swordsman (race undecided), Mass is probably a human sorcerer, Nevada is a fae folk, Ny is a human knight, and Hawaii 🤔 some sorta sea/ocean critter maybe? Dunno yet. Anyways I hope these ideas are cool and that you guys like them! I also want to mention I probably wont post daily still, I wanna do what’s comfortable for me.
#wttt#welcome to the table#welcome to the statehouse#ben brainard#wttt fanart#wttt fan art#wttsh#wttsh fanart#wttt headcanons#wttt alaska#wttt maine#wttt au#wttt mass#wttt massachusetts#wttt new york#wttt new jersey#wttt california#wttt texas
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Summer has finally started for me!!! So that means that I can finally finish some of my unfinished fics thank you all so much for being patient! You all will have your fill of Zolu, Punkflower, RadioStatic and now even FunnyGummy!!
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Loved your subspace fanfic >:)
Now I’m asking very politely for sub Matty. I would LOVE to read your perspective of him because I loved dom Matty but feel I’d love sub Matty even moreeee.
Maybe like girlie pushes his limits and he completely melts for her. I don’t know. I’m dreadful at request.
-🍒anon
First of all thank you so much for your request anon!! I’m glad you liked the dom version, I gladly take this request!! I’m also picturing this Matty era:
18+mdni, you saw the request ;)
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Matty didn't really know how to breach the subject, he knew what he wanted very well and he knew what to say but it was how, how was he supposed to tell you with a straight face that you should be the dominant one. He trusted you of course, with his life, but the second he told you he wants to be ruined, the air shifted.
“mhm-” he whimpers. “I- hm, fuck-”
You’re sitting ontop of him, he’s looking up at you with those big brown eyes. it’s almost pornographic the way he’s whining and moaning. He squirms underneath you as you pump his cock. it’s like you’re teasing him.
He quickly lost track of the amount of times you've made him come. You promised him this is the last time if he’s going to be good.
“Ngh, please,” he babbles. He doesn’t even know what he’s asking for. You flick your thumb across his slit and he whimpers. tears well up in his eyes.
“Please what?” you ask, batting your lashes. He can’t take it for much longer. He searches for your lips desperately, messily kissing you and moaning into your mouth. “Im gonna— uhhhg..” he moans.
“No, you’re not,” you swat your hand from him and watch as he tries to search for the lost friction, bucking his hips up into thin air.
“Fuckin’ hell, baby please,” he whines, a tear slipping from his eye.
“you— baby.” a whine almost slips out, “you’re mean,” he pouts but gasps when your fingers trail up his cock.
“I’m not mean, you’re just greedy,” you grab his chin to make him look at you, “made you cum, what maybe 3 times and you still want more? S’ pathetic.”
Matty’s breath hitches, you return to slowly pumping him again. Moreover you begin to kiss up his shaft, proud to see that by the time you reach his tip to look back at him he's still looking at you.
“Hold out for me yeah? You’re a patient boy,” you praise, smirking down on him. His jaw goes slack as you speed up your movements, moans spilling out. You lean down, and bite at his jawline. he grips onto the sheets beside him, holding fistfuls.
“M’so close, mmph,” he whines, bucking up into your hand, “please- ah, fuck. m’ gonna.” His body finishes before he could end his sentence. His stomach is tensing and back arching as he releases all over himself, thick white spurts of cum coating his stomach and up to his chest as he trembles and squirms under you.
His eyes are closed and you’re stroking him slowly through his orgasm, “Matty,” you tut, “didn’t tell you to cum now, did I?”
His chest is heavily moving up and down, pearls of sweat covering his tattoos. His curls are sticking to his face and when he finally opens his eyes, he’s gone to another dimension.
You tap his cheek with your flat hand a few times, “you with me?” He nods quickly, “m’sorry, couldn’t hold it in anymore.” He whines, your hand still not stopping its movement.
You don’t slow your movements as well, hand going up and down on his dick with a newfound ease due to the slick. His hips buck up into your hand and his eyes roll back. It is a lot, too much. “m-uh.. please,” he squeaks. noises being punched out of him quicker than before. “I can’t, s’too much!”
“One more,” you kiss his lips, “can give me one more.”
You resume your past rhythm, leaning down and pressing kisses to his tears, he whimpers. “‘M you’re good boy?”
Your face coms up to his, gazing into his eyes, “my best boy.”
You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you immediately set to a faster pace, stroking him from base to tip and causing a slick sound to fill the room as you coat his length in his own cum, the sound barely audible over his loud whimpers and moans as his head falls back, back arching into you.
“Gonna cum again for me?”
“Please, please-“ he’s begging as if you’re going to continue being mean. “Can’t, christ,” he’s babbling, whining, writhing underneath you.
Matty can’t even muster up a warning that he is about to cum, just letting out a choked moan as he practically doubles over as he comes, cum spilling onto his stomach and chest again, as you stroke him through it until he is pulling away from you.
"Such a good boy" you speak softly as you stand up to cup his cheeks, lifting his face to meet yours, your lips meeting his in a soft kiss.
"Made such a mess, baby" you tease as you wipes his face with your thumbs, his cheeks flush red at the thought of tears on his face.
“Lay down, be right back,” you leave the room to fetch a washcloth from the bathroom, wetting it with warm water and getting a shirt that’s draped over the bathtub, before making your way back to your shared bedroom, smiling at the sight of Matty splayed out on your bed, completely fucked out.
"Gonna clean you up now, alright?" You practically whisper, feeling like if you were too loud it might startle him. Matty simply nods in response as you climb back onto the bed with him and situate yourself between his still-spread thighs, gently and softly cleaning the drying cum from his stomach and chest, being extra careful when cleaning his now soft length, and apologizing quietly when he winces.
“All done,” you say, fiddling with his shirt, “arms up now,” he does as you say, still completely in his own world, not a word coming from his mouth.
He lays back when he’s clothed and you throw the cloth in the laundry basket, coming down to press sweet kisses to his face, “did so good f’me.”
“Do you need anything? Water?” He shakes his head, grabbing your arm.
“Can we just cuddle for a bit?” Your heart swells.
You settle behind him and Matty turns on to his stomach, his face nuzzling against your chest. Your hands come down to his curls, slowly massaging his scalp.
“I love you,” you whisper, and he just hums from exhaustion, kissing your skin as a response before drifting off to sleep.
#the 1975#matty healy#Matty Healy smut#sub matty healy#the 1975 fic#matty healy x you#matty healy fluff#matty healy x reader#Matty Healy imagine#matty healy blurb#ross macdonald#george daniel#adam hann#matty healy oneshot
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sunkissed face - charles leclerc
FORMULA ONE DRIVERS MASTERLIST
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8
summary: A special one, for a special weekend.
warnings: I'm not sure when I'll be back, but enjoy this one while it's out.
words count: 1k
a/n: You know I couldn't not write something. It took me thirty minutes, I did not reread myself, you're getting first draft, spur of the moment, here. I promise I'm not dead. Thank you for loving Sunkissed so much and for being the sweetest readers ever. Love you tons. Daghe Charles 🤍
The waves kept licking your toes, your sundress pooling around your thighs. The Monaco harbour was finally calm, the sea tame and the sun reflecting golden speckles on the horizon. The streets had been busy, busier than usual, but you found yourself in one of the rare corners of the principality where you’d be left alone, in a quiet bubble, where no one would bother you.
The week of the Monaco Grand Prix was always special. It was always a mix of a frenzy, crazy times that you never quite were able to deal with, but also a mix of warm sunsets, comfortable bed sheets and piano sessions to wake up to in the mornings. It was also the week of pains au chocolat in bed, of fresh and cold fruit juice in tall glasses, of wandering fingertips on your thighs and soft kisses in your lover’s neck.
The Monaco Grand Prix was always your anniversary weekend, too. Three years ago, you left your friends on a boat to sneak into a Ferrari event. Three years ago, you met Charles, who took you for a tour of the principality in his beloved Ferrari, then for a swim on his Riva boat. Three years ago, you sat on this same pier, listening to the cars drive in the background while Charles grieved the possibilities of a home win after a treacherous pole position secured by a crash into a barrier.
Three years ago, you met the man you’d share your life with, dressed all in red and sunshine, a warm man who turned your world upside down with soft words whispered in your ears, with arms wrapped around your stomach and with tender kisses on your cheeks.
Three years ago, you dried tears of sadness for a man you barely knew.
Today, you dried tears of pride and happiness for the love of your life.
Charles was laying on the pier, his race suit still wet and clinging on his thighs. His hair was finally dry, curling in the most adorable little curls at the end, that you kept playing with absentmindedly, tangling your fingers in sea salt waves of brown strands, drowning yourself in the green eyes and dimples you loved so much.
Charles was finally relaxed of that remaining constant tension in his shoulder, he had finally achieved the ultimate dream of his and his father’s. He had won that Monaco Grand Prix that meant so much to him, after years of sadness, disappointment and doubts. You had gone through four races here, now, not one leaving you relieved about the outcomes. But this weekend, Charles had mastered everything he needed to have done, everything had finally clicked into place and with the complete support of his team, something you had pleasantly welcomed in your lives a few years ago, he had finally turned the dream into reality.
A few hours ago, he had jumped into the harbour with his team principal, yells of happiness and pride mixing with the sea salt water and the tears. You had waited your turn, letting him enjoy that win on his side, first with his team, then with his family. You’d lived a few wins with the Leclerc family already, but none that left everyone crying so much. You knew what it meant for them all, so you took a step back and left them to celebrate this one between themselves. Charles hadn’t said much after the podium and all the press duties. He had been relieved from the race debrief, there would be time to do that later, so you had patiently waited for your man to be free and ready to celebrate this one out with you.
So many of his friends were waiting for him at a club. So many of his peers were waiting to party and congratulate him. So many people in Monaco waiting for the prince of the day, the one who’d made everyone cry.
And still, Charles was laying on the pier, his head rested on your thighs, his breathing calm and relaxed, his eyes closed and his nose taking the faintest pink hues, a result of the sunkiss effect that drew you in the first time you’d seen him.
“Everybody is waiting for you, Charlie,” you whispered.
“Let them wait. I’m good here,” he whispered back. “I don’t need to go to the club. I just need to lie here. I just need you.”
You smile at the horizon, knowing perfectly well that he would get jitters in a few hours, that he’d drag you to a club and that you’d end up driving his car because he’d be too hammered to drive himself. But for now, for an hour or two, you’d selfishly enjoy this one with your man.
His gold trophy was next to you, the medal hung on the little hairpin representation of the track. His cap, ruined by the water, completed the triptych of a magical afternoon, spent in the streets you fell in love with, just as you fell in love with the man lying at your side.
“Congratulations, my love,” you softly exhaled. “You deserved that one so much.”
“Thank you,” he smiled a little. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you grinned.
The streets were finally calmer, after they’d exulted in celebrations. The harbour was finally quiet. The sun was starting to dip behind the horizon line. Your sundress was finally dry after you’d taken Charles’ hand and jumped in the water, taking your time to float in the sea and to kiss the winner under the heat of a May sun. Your hair was curling just like your boyfriend’s. You’d go back to your place, get rid of your clothes, slide in the shower together and God knows what you’d do in there. You’d party tonight, put him to bed when he’d irrevocably end up drunk and you’d make sweet love in your bed tomorrow morning, when the quiet and calm would be back to your lives.
Your Sunkissed boy had made it. You couldn’t be more in love with him.
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#sunkissed face#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc fluff#Charles Leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#f1 fanfic#formula one fanfic#fluff#My writing
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Chosen of the Sun |
| dawn // fifty-eight
| @amuhav
next / previous / beginning
TAYUIN: That’s not what I meant.
KYRIE: Then what did you mean?
TAYUIN: Will you stop?
TAYUIN: It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just a lot to digest.
KYRIE: That’s why I told you. I don’t want you to have to find out on the spot.
TAYUIN: You still kept it from me. From all of us.
KYRIE: Because I’m not proud of it. I could have lived as if it didn’t exist at all. But my sister’s life is on the line. Should I not use every tool available to me to get her back? I want you to know about this part of me, because I want to be honest with you about all things. But this is exactly what I was afraid of. If you think I would ever use it on you—
TAYUIN: I don’t think that.
KYRIE: It crossed your mind.
TAYUIN: I… alright, I admit it did unnerve me a little. It’s not what I was expecting to hear.
KYRIE: I don’t blame you for being afraid.
TAYUIN: But I do trust you. If you say that you never have… No. I know you wouldn’t. It isn’t who you are. I’m just not used to giving people the benefit of the doubt.
KYRIE: I know. You haven’t met a lot of good people.
TAYUIN: I haven’t. But that’s no reason to be unfair to you.
KYRIE: I would never, Tay.
TAYUIN: I believe you.
KYRIE: Then, you’re not afraid of me?
TAYUIN: I still think you’re a serial killer.
KYRIE: laughs
TAYUIN: Look, I can understand why you’d be hesitant to tell people. But I can also understand what it means that you chose to tell me. And… I appreciate that. So, thank you. I’m glad you told me, and… I’m glad I don’t have to find out in some worse way. If I seem brash… I know that I am. It’s a learning experience for me, too. I’m… sorry.
KYRIE: It’s alright.
TAYUIN: You shouldn’t have to constantly forgive me for being stupid…
KYRIE: I’m not keeping score, Tay.
TAYUIN: Maybe you should.
KYRIE: I believe that you’ll get better, with time. You’ve spent your entire life building that wall. It's not going to come down in a night.
TAYUIN: laughs Sometimes I feel like I’m fighting for my life.
KYRIE: I can be patient. If anything, these trials have proved that to me.
TAYUIN: You give me too much leeway. And I don’t give you nearly enough. I will do better.
KYRIE: You don’t have to—
TAYUIN: I will be better. If even just for you.
#ts4#ts4 screenshots#ts4 story#ts4 bachelor challenge#chosen of the sun#oc: kyrie loren#cc: tayuin eth'salin
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Oh my JESUS I've had a busy May! Slowly slowly slowly I am inching along with chapter 12 of "Good and Improper", and I am hoping to get it posted this week! This is the first weekend in a long time when I won't be out of the country, bedridden with sickness or working and boy am I going to spend it writing. Thank you all for being so patient with me!
I feel like this month has taken a bit of a toll on me, so I'm considering taking a little time to boost my creativity by writing some drabbles and post them. That'd be kinda fun, right?
I'm also on the waiting list to (finally) get surgery on my hand, so I'm hoping I can get as much done on my kinktober prep before than, since I'll only have use of one hand for a little while after that.
Wish me luck!
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Him Part 2
Hangman x reader, Rooster x reader
Tw: cursing, heartbreak unedited asf
Summary: Jake confessed his love for you and Bradley overheard, what are you going to do?
Word count: 2.8k
Hi guys! This is the very long awaited part 2 of Him, original summary: “You’re with him and not me! You’re in love with him and not me!” This is very angsty and I’m sorry if it is horrible writing, I’m not on a laptop and i also haven’t written anything in probably a year but i miss it so much and I’m trying to come back with some of my free time! I’m going to tag a few people that asked to be tagged when i posted the original story so I hope you guys like it! I’m sorry it took absolutely forever for this to finally come out but I’m hoping a part 3 will be coming in the very near future if y’all like this enough! Enjoy!
@dempy @budugu @theroosterperch
Weeks had gone by now, you were still with Bradley, happy, and still avoiding Jake and all of the stares he gave you. The two of you hadn’t spoke besides if it involved work and you were okay with that because in your mind you had been battling yourself. You knew it wasn’t fair to Bradley, you doing all of this thinking behind his back as he thought the two of you were blissfully happy, but you couldn’t ruin something for thoughts that you weren’t sure were even true.
You played back countless encounters between you and Hangman and some of them threw up red flags that you should’ve noticed in the beginning. Times in dogfight football where he consciously let you win, being the only one to bring you the beer that you like when the group was hanging out in the bar because he knew you hated their usual, sometimes actually covering your ass when flying and many more. It was something you noticed he didn’t do for anyone else, and that Bradley didn’t do for you.
Bradley was the best though, he was everything you thought you were looking for. Caring, sweet, listens to you, opens doors for you, loves your family, and he was stable. He was everything to you but there was something missing. There was always something that didn’t fit all the pieces together and you weren’t sure what it was.
You snapped out of your thoughts when you were greeted by your favorite beer appearing in front of your face at the hard deck. Smiling graciously at the blonde haired man standing in front of you with a stone face you thanked him and took the beer as he went back to the pool table.He had been slightly cold to you since your talk in the room at the hangers after the exercise. You wanted to talk to him, you really did but you didn’t know what to say.
You watched as some of your team played pool and you waited for your other half to arrive. U weren’t sure how long it would take for Bradley to get here so you just waited patiently. You joined in with laughter as Hangman pulled another win and Payback groaned in defeat, again. Jake had racked up a high winning score against all of the Dagger squad and now it was a score of 12-3 Hangman against the entire squad. His smile shined brightly and beautifully as he laughed along as everyone gained on him for cheating. You couldn’t help but stare at how beautiful he was in this light. He really was pretty and no one could deny that.
The liquid courage burned through your body as you randomly stood up and came up next to him, looking up as he towered over you and tapped on his arm. It gained his attention though he knew you were there, his hair standing up on the back of his neck at your proximity. He always knew when you were around. Looking down at you he quirked an eyebrow, “Can we talk?” You asked, his eyes burning through yours making you look anywhere but his eyes.
Nodding, he led the both of you out of the back door and onto the deck overlooking the beach. There was a beat of silence as you both stared out at the ocean, watching the sun fall behind the horizon. It was beautiful out here. He cleared his throat taking your attention back. “What did you want to talk about?” He tone was hard, like he was trying to keep himself from being vulnerable again. You understood why.
“I-um I don’t really know.” You answered truthfully. You don’t know why you decided this was a good idea, you didn’t know what was going on in your head and you hadn’t gotten your thoughts together before asking him to come and talk. “Alright then I’m heading back inside.” He answered quickly before turning around which made you panic for some reason.
“Wait, Jake.” You rushed out, spinning around to see his back towards you. He stopped hesitantly, slowly turning back around, “What Y/N” He sighed looking at you, tired. You knew he was beating himself up about what he said, but you still weren’t sure what he meant by it.
“Is what you said true?” You asked, avoiding his eyes. You heard him sigh, looking up at the sky for a quick second before looking back at you. “Is what true?” He played dumb.
“Don’t do that, you know what I’m talking about because I’m not the only one that’s been thinking about it for weeks.” You admitted. His eyebrows twitched up in surprise for a second before he face went back to unfazed.
“It was true, but you’re in a relationship and it was stupid and unfair of me to tell you that.” Jake said with sadness to his voice. In truth, Jake had been beating himself up since that day. He knew that you wouldn’t reciprocate what he felt, you two were just friends, teammates. You were in a relationship and he understood where you were coming from when accusing him of wanting to ruin your relationship.You were with his enemy, of course you thought that he wanted to ruin what Bradley had, but what you didn’t know was that he would do anything to make you happy, even if that meant he was unhappy.
“Why would you tell me all of this now? After i got into a relationship? After we were friends for months while i was single? Why now?” You asked, desperation in your voice as you gripped onto your beer bottle for support.
He didn’t understand why you were so torn up about it, you were happy with Bradshaw. “Because I’m an asshole remember?” Jake defended. He was going back to who he was as you hated it.
“Don’t do that. Don’t deflect. Why would you tell me this now?” You doubled down with force in your voice. You wanted to know. Maybe this would help you figure out what was going on in your head.
“Because I have loved you for a long time and I’ve tried showing you that for a while and you never saw me that way. Do you know how much it hurts to finally admit that you love someone and for them to throw it to the side and say nothing but that you are a horrible person and are trying to ruin their lives? I poured my heart out to you since you couldn’t take any hint that I liked you and all you could do was throw it to the side and tell me that I’m an asshole and that I’m trying to ruin your life.” He broke and poured everything out, taking a few steps towards you and closing the distance to where you were almost chest to chest, looking up at his heartbroken blue eyes. Being this close, he could see the tears welding in yours, and how hard you were trying to keep them in.
Silence loomed between the two of you, nothing to be heard besides the noise muffled coming from inside the bar, the ocean hitting the sand and the mix of your breathing. The sound of the door opening and closing was muffled by his speech since you didn’t hear Bradley come onto the back deck. His presence wasn’t know until a throat was cleared and both you and Jake broke out of your staring contest to see him standing there, flicking his eyes between the two of you.
Your heart broke. You knew he heard everything and you didn’t know what to do. “Bradley.” You breathed out as you saw the rise and fall of his chest from his heavy breathing and the heartbreak on his face. He said nothing as he just turned around and went back into the hard deck at a quick pace. Your first instinct was to run after him, and you did before stopping short of the door and looking back at Jake. The torture on your face trying to decide where to stay was all he could see. You debated for a second and that made you feel even worse for Bradley. He didn’t deserve any of this.
“Go.” Was all that Jake said with a sigh. A single tear fell watching his jaw twitch. “Please just stay here, I’ll be back.” Was all you said after running back into the bar. You could see the Hawaiian shirt start to make its way out the front door and you moved fast towards it. “Bradley!” You called out but your calls were ignored.
You finally made it outside and found him almost to his truck. You sprinted after him calling his name but he continued to ignore you. “It wasn’t what it looked like, please!” You begged him as you reached his truck that he was opening the door to. He slammed his door in anger and started towards you with a pointed finger,angry.
“Then why did it just look like Hangman was just confessing his love for you and you just standing there and letting him?” He roared, chest heaving in anger. Maybe it was what it looked like.You were at a loss for words for a second, not only his words asking you by surprise but his anger outburst coming at you paralyzing you in fear. Men didn’t scare you till the anger came through, then you weren’t sure what to do. Flight or fight wasn’t an option for you, paralyzing fear was though.
Shaking his head and headed back towards his truck, as you snapped out of it. “I didn’t know what to say Bradley, its not like i asked him to admit his feelings for me!” But you did. You begged to know why he told you what he did weeks ago, but for some reason him telling you that he loved you wasn’t what you were looking for.
“So you’re telling me that you don’t have feelings for him too?” He asked, standing next to his open door, ready to get into it and drive away. You stood there, mouth opening and closing looking for an answer. You didn’t know, truly. You felt something for Jake but you weren’t sure what it was and you were on the verge of figuring it out when Bradley made an appearance.
Your lack of answer gave him all he needed to know and he started getting into his truck. You rushed to the open window, tears now freely flowing down your face. “Bradley I’m with you! I’m here with you, please don’t do this.” You sobbed trying to get him to stay. You weren’t sure what you were fighting for but losing him like this wasn’t the plan. None of this was the plan. You were happy, what happened?
”But you have feelings for him, so you’re not really with me.” Was all he said as his truck roared to life and he gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles. “How do I fix this?” You cried, holding onto his truck hoping that he wouldn’t leave.
Bradley sighed, rubbing a hand down his face and finally looked at you, heartbreak in his eyes, looking at the desperation in yours. “You don’t. This, you and me, were over. You can go be with Hangman now, i don’t care what you do as long as it isn’t with me.” His words tore through your heart. You never meant to hurt him, you were just trying to figure out what was going on.
“Please Bradley don’t do this.” You begged him, “I’m with you, I’m here, why can’t you see that?”
“Because of him.” He clenched his jaw, as he nodded his head behind you. You looked back and saw Jake watching the two of you go through this exchange. You lost all the breath in your body as you stepped back trying to regain it, Bradley had shifted his truck out of park and started to roll off. “Bye Y/N” Was all he said as he pulled out of his parking spot and drifted out of the lot.
You sobbed, holding your chest before regaining your composure and your breath and now your attention was turned. You looked back at the entrance of the bar where the blonde still stood, watching you. Marching up to him with heat radiating off you, you walked right towards him and pushed against his check with anger.
“Why would you do that?” You roared. “You were supposed to stay away. You just made me lose everything!” You said while repeatedly pushing him back, and him just taking it stone face. Your sobs racked through your words, “You made me lose everything.” You pushed one last time before letting defeat take over and collapsing, but you never made it to the ground as he wrapped himself around you and held you while you cried.
Gripping at his shirt you tried regaining control but the sadness kept taking over. You never wanted to hurt Bradley, you didn’t want things to end like this, or at all. You just wanted to know what was going on with your head and your friendship. You knew having something too good to be true like your relationship with Bradley would come to an end but you didn’t know it would be to this extent.
Jake held you as you finally calmed down, being able to control your breath and slightly your thoughts. You didn’t want to move though, because then you would have to face him and the fact that you just broke up with your boyfriend and fell into the arms of the man he just watched confess his love for you. Your life was so fucked up and complicated and you wished this was all just a dream and it would be over when you woke up but you weren’t naive enough to know that wasn’t how life worked.
Finally working yourself up to face him, you sat up, wiping your face before looking at him. He had sadness in his eyes, and pity for you. He scanned over your face a reached up to catch a stray tear but you flinched away a flash of hurt flashed across his features but he covered it up quickly. You went to stand up and he followed your actions, both of you wiping off the dirt from your bodies from being on the floor. You kept your stare on the ground, avoiding looking at him.
“I gotta go.” Was all you said before trying to turn away before your arm was grasped and spun back around. “We need to talk about this.” He demanded, making you look up at him. “We need to talk about nothing Hangman, I need to go home and try to fix this.” You stated, but your arm stayed in his hand and you did nothing to move it.
“What are you going to fix? He’s gone and he knows you feel something for me too. You didn’t deny it when he asked.” He countered back. You didn’t know how much he heard but apparently most of it. You didn’t have anything to say back, he was right, but you weren’t going to let this go easily. “Bradley was here first, my priority lies with him, just because you come out of no where and admit that you have feelings for me doesn’t mean i will just up and leave him.” You spit out. You hated how you were treating Jake but the heartbreak and not wanting to accept that you and Bradley were over was taking over your emotions and you were letting them.
“They aren’t just feelings Y/N, I’m in love with you. Isn’t that enough?” He emphasized. You were so conflicted. “I-I dont know Jake.” You sighed. His face dropped and he finally let go of your arm. The cool air made the spot on your arm where his hand was just at even cooler and you felt lost without the contact. “Just go then.” He said calmly.
“Please Jake I can’t lose both of you, i don’t know what to do.” You started breaking again realizing that you might be making the wrong decisions all the way around. Losing both Bradley and Jake in the same hour would be torture for you, you couldn’t do it. “You won’t lose me, but we wont be how it used to be. I can’t do that to myself anymore.” Was all he said as he started back into the bar. You were frozen in your spot, you were going to lose him. You didn’t know what to do. You just stood there, staring at the door that he had entered through, losing sight of him, tears making a reappearance now.
What are you going to do?
#top gun maverick#top gun#bradley rooster bradshaw#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin#top gun: maverick#rooster bradshaw#hangman imagine#jake seresin angst#jake seresin fluff#jake seresin x y/n#jake seresin imagines#bradley bradshaw x y/n#bradley bradshaw angst#bradley 'rooster' bradshaw#jake hangman seresin fanfiction#jake hangman seresin x reader#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw#rooster x y/n#hangman angst#hangman seresin#top gun hangman#top gun rooster
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Slowly, Unintentionally.
Part 3
Pairing: Idol!Min Yoongi x Nerd!Reader
Summary:
Y/N and Yoongi are two individuals in completely different worlds who collide due to an arranged marriage. What happens when there’s somebody else living with them too?
⚠️ Warnings: Smut, fluff, angst, heartbreak, and crying. Tissues are highly recommended!
Part 1 :
Part 2:
One week later...
Y/N's POV
It’s been a week since a beautiful angel stepped into our lives and we’ve already grown so close. I can say I truly love Ae-cha with all my heart. We spend so much time together. She helps me out in the kitchen (even though it just means she’s going to rummage through the cupboards and find a good snack) and even slips into my bed late at night. She’s sneaky and cute and just downright lovely to me. Despite the way Yoongi despises me with every fibre of his being, I can say that he’s at least able to tolerate my presence now. Barely, but still.
I’m broken out of my thoughts as I feel a pair of small hands sneak around my waist.
“Oh, you’re back!” I say and turn to look at Ae-cha who beams at me, nodding eagerly. Today, I took a leave from my office just to make sure I was there for Ae-cha as she came back from her first guitar lesson. I hoped I'd be at least a little helpful for her and was definitely not disappointed as my little girl came back home and immediately sought me out. She starts talking animatedly about how wonderful her teacher had been and how patient he was to make sure she got all the basics right before beginning their lesson.
Knowing that she probably already knew all those basics but still liked appreciating the teacher for her thoughtfulness, I smile at her and then realize there’s another person in the kitchen at the sound of someone clearing their throat. I realize it’s Yoongi by the sound and turn around returning to my work as I know he wants to talk to Ae-cha. Hence, you can see I’m surprised when he softly calls out,
“Y/N.”
Hiding the fact that my heart just skipped a goddamn beat hearing him speak my name in such a soft tone, I slowly turn to face him. He’s standing there. Leaning against the top of the kitchen counter, looking impeccably handsome as ever.
“Can we talk?”
The softly posed question both confuses and scares me to an equal level though I just gulp, trying to wet my suddenly dry throat and manage to muster a believable smile.
“Yeah, sure.” I say and find myself even more confused as he instructs Ae-cha to go to her room and complete her homework. The little girl turns to send a secretive smile at me and runs outside, giggling after I dazedly smile back at her.
Yoongi stays there for a while, watching her go before he directs his attention at me. Being the centre of attention has always made me nervous and anxious but I don’t understand why being the centre of Yoongi’s attention has me feeling happy and powerful. It feels as if l my life I was used to being invisible, made peace with the fact but If Yoongi looks at me, I never want him to look away. He walks towards me and stops at an arm’s distance.
“I spoke to Ae-cha’s guardian yesterday and he told me that adoption would be a good option if we want to keep her with us. Otherwise, according to the law she’ll have to be sent to an orphanage. My legal team has told me that adoption can only be possible if there’s a functioning relationship between the couple. It’s said that the officers are hard to convince unless the pair have and understanding with each other. I know that we haven’t exactly been a proper couple but do you think we can at least try to pretend?
The fact that he wanted to talk to me only because it was about Ae-cha breaks my heart again. Even worse, he’s just giving that to me as a piece of information, not even slightly caring about my opinion. I struggle to gather the broken pieces before I say,
“Yeah, I think we can.”
He doesn’t make my struggle easier when he speaks again,
“Thanks. But you know that I’m only asking you this for Ae-cha, right? It has nothing to do with us.”
I feel tears prick my eyes but I hold on, deciding not to break down in front of him. I offer my best smile to him and nod.
He replies with an,
“Oh good. See you later then.” and walks out.
I run to my room and lock the door before crying my hearts out. Within a few minutes, I hear a soft knock on my door. Groaning, I'm about to tell whoever it is to go away when
"Y/n, Are you in there?" Ae-cha's voice sounds from the other side of the door. Panicking slightly, I sniff a few times, hurriedly running to the restroom and splashing my face with water.
"Yeah, what's up?" I ask, smiling brightly at her after opening the door to my room.
The little girl eyes me up and down suspiciously as if she isn't convinced everything's fine.
"hm, I was going to watch a movie. Wanna join?"
I frown, trying to find out why exactly she's behaving as if she knows everything before shrugging as to say,
"Sure, why not."
Ae-cha settles down on the couch, flipping through the programs to find a good movie while I make some popcorn for us.
After we settle comfortably on the couch and the movie is playing, I space out. Not that I mean to, but the recent events all awaken my overthinking abilities. I had a pretty good day from the morning, what with Ae-cha's guitar lessons and all but once again, Yoongi had to ruin it. But even with how badly he treats me, I cannot bring myself to hate this man. I'm more annoyed than angry actually. If he wanted to go about the adoption process, I'm pretty sure he'll be able to surpass all the legal procedures with his societal standing and popularity. But he was deciding to do it the legal way. And I respect that, truly. But the least he could do for me, was to treat me like an actual human being and consider my feelings about the whole things. At least for the sake of pretending, we had to get to know each other. He just...
As the million wild thoughts race through my mind, I feel a soft warm body slowly move towards me on the couch. Turning, I see e-cha snuggling under my arm, cuddling closer and laying her head on my shoulder. at least, she tries to but with her height, she's only successful at lading on my chest. Laughing softly, I pull her closer, creating a comfortable space for her to lie down on the couch.
Smiling up at me, she leans closer and for a second I'm almost afraid. But then, her soft lips gently graze my cheek and I sit, frozen at what just happened. Then, she gets back to her previous position. Pleasantly surprised, I'm only able to wrap her up in my arms and almost miss it when she whispers softly,
"I'm there for you."
The burn of my eyes and the sudden tightness in my throat are all to familiar but i stubbornly blink them back, only nodding and pressing a kiss to her temple. She looks up at me and we smile at each other.
This wonderful creature, so small. But filled with so much knowledge. I sit there in awe trying to comprehend how she can be so understanding in spite of not understanding!?!?
I finally decide, I can tackle whatever Yoongi throws t me, no matter how hard as long as I have my dear Ae-cha by my side. I love her. And I love him. In different ways. Yet at the same time, soo similar.
_______________________________________________________
That was quite a long break. I apologize for it. But as you can see, I'm back. I'm working on this fic and a small one-shot based on Jimin. SO, stay tuned. Do tell me what you think.
Does Ae-cha KNOW what happened between them? Is Yoongi doing this the legal way just for formality's sake or for something else? Ae-cha is actually and angel, isn't she?
#bangtan sonyeondan#bts#bts yoongi#suga#jeon jungkook#yoongi#min yoongi#agust d#bts fanfic#bts ffs#min yoogni#words#yn fanfic#yn#min yoongi x you#min yoongi x y/n#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi imagine#yoongi ff#bts suga#min suga#haegum#dday#sugakookie#married#cold hearted#bangtan#cautioustype#childhood trauma#caring
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A Hero's Burden (Midoriya x GN!Reader Angst No Comfort Oneshot)
A/N: FIRST OF ALL, SPECIAL THANKS TO @caramello07, BECAUSE THIS ABSOLUTE LEGEND HAS BEEN HELPING ME CREATE THE PLOT AND BETAREADING MY WORK. LITERALLY, BESTIE, YOU'RE A REAL ONE 🫶🫶.
Hello hello my lovely readers! Thank you for being patient with me. My exams are around the corner so I have been so, so busy with that. But I always pop in to see you guys leave the most beautiful feedback and comments, it makes my day <3. I hope you enjoy this just as much as I did. I really put my heart and soul into this one.
Please let me know whether I should lowkey create a YouTube channel where I read out my work the way I intended to.
As always, my Ask Box is open for any requests or just a conversation. I absolutely adore all of you, and I want to take this time to thank you guys for your support. Seeing your comments and messages motivates me to write :) <3. Please remember to take care of yourselves, and enjoy. As always, I would love to see your thoughts in the comments :).
TW: Death and bleeding, SUICIDAL themes.
CW: SPOILER: Season 6, Izuku’s Vigilante arc, swearing, difficult friendship dynamics.
Masterlist
Word Count: 3242.
Summary: Heroes always win. Every folktale, every comic, everything in our life tells us the same thing: good reigns over evil. But the harsh truth comes crashing down in a dark warehouse, where the facade of invincibility crumbles. Amidst the shadows, surrounded by those who once vowed to protect, you can only helplessly watch as your best friend, Midoriya Izuku destroys himself under the weight of this flawed, and broken system. With the entire hero society relying on him, how can he stop giving everything he has? In a world where heroes are human and kindness is a liability. You try to help him, yet even the strongest bonds can shatter under the weight of despair.
——————————————————————————————————
How does it feel?
When everything in front of you disintegrates into pieces, whilst you can only sit there and watch?
It feels like a dark warehouse. Cold and wet.
Sunken in, casting a dark shadow, impersonating the night sky, your eyelids were heavy, succumbing to the shared lethargy that lurked in the heavy air. Your brain did not allow you to rest however, listening only to your palpitating heart, because what if the villains found you whilst you were fast asleep?
Heroes were there to protect you.
But why were you still so afraid? The nation's best heroes had congregated together, sharing the same space as you, breathing the same air as you.
They would never let harm come your way– it was their duty to protect you.
So why were they hiding from that harm, sitting with their knees held close to their chest?
Heroes were there to protect you, but that claim was voiceless in the presence of reality: heroes were hidden– whispering and begging the ground to stay silent as they shuffled in the shadows. Villains ran loose– mocking the hopeless souls that they trampled on, with every free, and unabashed step they took.
Death had not only taken multiple heroes on the battlefield; it had also snatched their facade.
They were not invincible. They were not untouchable.
The world had just forgotten that their heroes were only human after all.
A phone rang.
Roaming eyes halted. They could not speak.
“It’s mine”, Hawks said.
Breaths were held.
“It’s from All Might”.
You leaned in closer.
“Midoriya-kun came into contact with the second hired gun.”
Your chest ceased to move.
“...and he won instantly.”
-
“Young man-”
“He didn’t have any information.”
The sky wept.
The moon and stars had masked themselves under the darkness that shrouded the city. If they could not see you, they could not harm you.
Toshinori Yagi had just watched the last remains of Midoriya Izuku’s innocence drain into the gutters of Musutafu.
“He might explode too. Be careful.”
He felt the impact of his student’s departure faster than he could comprehend. Therefore he took the chance to call after Midoriya, summoning the scarce energy he had left, ignoring the rising threat in his weak chest, which was ready to surrender to the bloody phlegm building inside of him.
“Wait a minute!” Toshinori ran after him– though Midoriya had only moved for a second.
“Food!” he gasped, his hands lifting a box wrapped in a blue cloth. ““Please, my son, you haven’t eaten…”
His hands tightly grasped around the soft, crisp fabric that was decorated with orange carrots, and white bunnies with pink noses. When he first saw it, Toshinori chuckled to himself before deciding to buy it– this was made for Midoriya, his rising hero, the purest of hearts.
“All Might.” Midoriya did not look back. “I’m fine now. You don’t have to follow me.”
Toshinori’s shoulders slumped down and his brows lowered, pulling closer together. Midoriya was walking away from him without a second glance.
Midoriya had not met his eyes once today.
“I am fine now.” The wind howled louder than his voice, unconvinced.
“Young Midoriya, please...”
The energy around Midoriya had increased, visible power– venomous and hostile– overflowing from his tense body that was moments away from breaking.
Toshinori had to stop him. Or history would repeat itself.
“Midoriya, please, don’t d-”
“I can move at the same level as your 100%...” Midoriya whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. “You don’t have to worry…”
His tattered clothes soaked in the rain, his sound of his heavy steps getting quieter and quieter.
“Please”, Toshinori begged, “wait a minute…”
But before he could finish his heart’s plea, the one who it was meant for had already left, pushing everything away, leaving everyone he had burdened in the dust.
The lunch that his mentor had lovingly made for him now belonged to the sidewalk and the merciless rain. Soon, it would also flow into the gutters of Musutafu.
-
The warehouse door crashed open.
“Midoriya is nowhere to be found!”
All Might ran in, his hands against his knees, gasping for the still and stale air.
“He-” he huffed again, regaining his breath,” he, he left… I tried to contact him. Phone… off… he’s nowhere to be found… sent class after him… didn’t find him either”
Your eyes twitched at the blank stares that his words had harboured. No one batted an eye.
They were too busy counting the days until they would be found by the real threat.
All Might’s concern for Midoriya ran thicker than blood. And had you looked past those deep-set eyes, you would have noticed the faint veins that bordered his gaze; something was stolen from him. Midoriya had been stolen by the expectations of the world, held hostage in his own mind.
“I know where he is.”
-
Orudera Chūgakkō. Memories had been etched into the red brick walls. You pushed against that same black gate, its groans and creaks forming the haunting symphony that would promptly begin at eight o'clock sharp.
Lessons would start at eight-thirty, and the low murmurs of the class would subside as your sensei would come in, dropping her bags next to her desk. You would all stand up together, reciting the same monotonous ‘Good Morning Shima-Sensei’ before sitting back down. If she was in a good mood, the class would commence. But if she was (more likely than not) in a bad mood, the entire class would get a scolding.
“You cannot wish your teacher a pleasant good morning, but you can chat to your friends with double the energy?! Do that again. Now! Show me some respect.” And you would all stand for another five minutes, smirking and giggling, repeating it again.
What once felt like a tedious task now brought a smile to your face as you reminisced about the moments spent in the classroom before you.
Birds would chirp, filling the classroom with a sonorous melody. The walls would be decorated by the younger children who drew rainbows and flowers and butterflies with every colour they could get their hands on. There wasn’t a speck of grey or black found in these drawings.
It was so fun to be a child– just a few years ago, your life was filled with colour.
Everything now was grey and bare.
At ten o’clock, the bell would ring and children would scream as they ran towards their friends, ignoring the poor teachers who repeated: “children, please don’t run in the hallways, children please, you may get hurt!”
The large corridor was so full with a sea of chuckles and laughter.
Today, undisturbed dirt coated every surface on the corridor. A desolate strip led down to the most frequented stairs of your past. Its laborious steps led to a place that no student visited as much as you did. On the sixth floor, the rooftop brought you closer to the blue sky and the fluffy clouds. You and the sun would overlook the vast plains of never ending buildings, glistening under the morning glow. People would walk, cars would drive; the hustle and bustle of everyday life resided on the grounds below you. So how could anyone truly feel alone? How could anyone ignore the true beauty of your favourite spot in the whole school?
You now understood that beauty was in the eye of the beholder– the painful truth.
Sleepless nights were spent wondering, what would have happened if you did not visit the rooftop on one particular day? What would have happened to the nameless boy who had stood there, head hanging low, body quivering, feet on the ledge of railings.
Who could have guessed that this stranger would end up as the only friend you ever had?
You could recognise him in total darkness and in different bodies, for Midoriya Izuku’s pure heart could never change. It would always draw you towards him.
You ran up the swindling stairs, the steps leading up to the sixth floor seeming longer and steeper than before. Serenity only belonged to the past– this place brought nothing but a looming sense of dread, weighing you down as time ticked by.
The closer you got, the weaker your heart felt. You had read about it somewhere– our bodies always knew what would happen, so they could prepare us for the worst.
But the thought of losing him before you could see his eyes, your beacon of light and hope, would rend a part of you forever.
So you carried on walking, ignoring the foreboding pricks cultivating in your body.
Those eyes… you could not live without them. They were an open window into the bright and welcoming flame that resided within him. He would give warmth to those who needed it without asking, never expecting anything in return.
Kindness had no price.
So Midoriya Izuku would live with kindness in his heart, even if it meant that it would be vulnerable and open for everyone to use as they pleased.
Midoriya Izuku was priceless. There was no one like him in this world filled with deceit and hate. But the world did not like those who were different from the rest.
He gave and he gave. Yet what would happen when he gave every piece of himself to a world that never gave back? What would happen if he finally had nothing to give apart from his soul?
The world is cruel.
They would steal everything he had. And that is how you found him, through the already opened door, standing under the thundering sky that showed no forgiveness to the young man who would once smile at them too.
Tip tap, tip tap, your eyes were blurry, but not from the rain. They had betrayed you, yes your gaze. For the man in front of you was not the man whom your heart could recognise from afar. You were so close, yet your hearts held distances, akin to the stars. Blood wept, following the course of the pouring water, revealing wounds, neglected but vain. They cried for attention they would never get, as the man who was once a stranger, had become estranged from them.
“Deku…” you did not want him to turn around, praying for this to be a mistake. FOr him to look confused, asking you, “who’s Deku?”
This can’t be your Deku… he couldn’t be your priceless hero…
His head barely turned, but you caught a glimpse of his glowering eyes.
They donned an arcane mask of toughness. His front, unbreakable on the surface, yet unfortunately flawed. You could see right through it, uncovering the secrets that he hid in plain sight.
Immense pain had found an abode in his glassy, teal eyes; exhaustion chipped away at the shell that kept him put up to protect himself from the looming danger that would attack as soon as it smelt his foetid weakness. Midoriya let it happen once, jeopardising everyone around him.
He wasn’t going to let it happen again.
“Go away,” Midoriya cautioned.
His heart expended too much energy pushing everyone away. He could only hope that you would listen to him– he didn’t want to hurt you.
“Deku…” you pleaded, eyes misting over as you cautiously step forward, hands stretching wearily towards his shoulders, taking care not to brush past those fresh, untended marks that showed through the rips and tears in his clothes.
“Please Deku… let me help you.”
Midoriya stiffened under your touch, guilt overtaking his body.
You couldn’t be seen with him.
The eyes. They were everywhere.
They tracked his every move. And if they saw you now, he would never see you again.
You felt a strong jolt push you back into the wall, your head crashing against the stone walls, losing your grip on him completely. Your hands felt empty– he had disappeared from under your touch.
And it all happened so fast.
Midoriya stared at his hands, his blood fleeing from his extremities. The realisation slowly dawned upon him, raising his heart beat, shifting the energy around him– he was a monster. Mioriya began gasping for air, choking on his own spit and tears, his vision tunnelled in on the surface of his palms.
A monster.
That’s what he was.
Your body lay limp in the rubble of concrete and dust, you swore you felt something wet on the back of your head, but your eyes urgently searched for Midoriya, who was pale and frozen near the edge of the roof.
His feet began to sway, and his eyes began to flutter shut. You overlooked the jolts in your body for your mind could not bear this sight again. Despite the clear warnings your aching flesh had given you to rest, you still ran towards him, clutching his body before he fell onto the ground.
Only in your arms had the outer shell of this vigilante’s stone defence fallen, emerging a broken child who had just caused immense pain to his best friend.
“I’m so sorry”, he whispered through his dried throat, quivering as the walls in his mind closed in on him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry”, he repeated, again and again, trapped in a cyclical doom which served only to condemn him.
He was a monster– that depraved voice screamed.
He was a monster– that depraved voice echoed as it stalked him in the depths of his own mind, following him into his deepest, intimate fears. Clutching it, taking over.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…
He was disturbingly light in your arms; you just noticed his hollowed cheeks.
Midoriya’s strained forehead loosened as he broke down in your hold, tears running down his thinning face. Your heart beat alongside his, yet you did not dare to glance into his emerald eyes, for they had been robbed of their precious shine. You placed your finger over his mouth as he opened it to say something, a silent reminder– everything will be alright.
“Give me your pain, Deku, please…” you begged, stroking his curly hair away from his eyes. “I can’t see you like this anymore”.
A singular tear dropped on his cheek, stinging him with regret.
“You don’t have to carry that burden alone, Deku… It’s too big… too big to carry alone. You give too much, you don’t know when to rest. You break yourself, for people who don’t deserve it and you take on things bigger than you can ever manage! You think you can do everything Deku, but you can’t!” you cried, unable to stop.
“You don’t need to work this hard, Deku, you don’t. You’re forgetting who you were, Deku. You’re not indestructible! You’re not untouchable, you’re not All Might! You can get hurt, you- you can bleed, you can die for god’s sake, Deku, you can die!”
Your voice began raising uncontrollably, as you held his face, shaking him.
“You’re just a kid, Deku. My Deku… the sweet boy who I love. My best friend…” you grabbed his hands, squeezing them as you took deep breaths, your throat aching.
“But you’re unrecognisable now… You’re destroying yourself thinki- thinking that you’ll survive but what if you don’t. What if you don’t survive, and all of your friends, your teachers, your mom, they’re all just waiting for you to come back.”
Your eyes solemnly scanned his wrist, eyebrows furrowed and lowered. A litany of cuts, healed and unhealed, adorned his wrists, glaring at you. Your trembling fingers gently ran over them, hovering so as to not agitate them.
“But since you wanted to prove that you’re a hero, you go around picking fights that you can’t win.”
The scars on his wrist opened wounds of the past.
Your hands that held his wrist felt empty again. Midoriya averted his eyes from yours, before pulling his sleeves down, stretching the thinning material of his hero-suit, until it covered his exposed skin.
The rain’s sobbing grew louder with every moment that passed by in dismal silence.
“What would you even know about my life, Y/N?" he asked, his voice drowning in the cacophony of the storm.
Just like that, all of the progress you made had collapsed in front of your eyes. Midoriya had rebuilt the cage around his heart
“Deku, what happened?”
Your hands, which reached out for him, were immediately shaken off.
“What would you know about my life? About my struggles?”
His legs faltered when he tried to run away, cramping as a warning: Midoriya couldn’t move, he had used up all of his energy.
“Deku plea-”
“You said what you wanted to say, Y/N. Thanks for reminding me that I can’t let my guard down, even near people I thought I could trust. I’m not ‘indestructible’, I’m not All Might, I never claimed that. But unlike you, I have the world's burden around my shoulders. If you were putting everyone around you in danger, you'd run away too Y/N. But you wouldn’t know that because you're not the one giving everything your body can give, just to find out it's never going to be enough. You’re not the reason this entire city has turned into a ghost town. But what would you know, Y/N?”
He turned around, gaze hardened into stone.
“You're quirkless".
Blood rushed into your cheeks, your heart beating fast.
You must have misheard.
“You don’t mean that…”
He didn’t. The sweet boy you had met years ago on this same rooftop would never use that against you. He didn’t mean it.
"Now, I know why I was treated the way I was when I was younger, Y/N. The quirkless really don't know anything."
You couldn't have misheard that.
You had been beside his side to see every intimate detail in Midoriya’s life– every victory, every laughter, you celebrated together. Every shove and every taunt, you endured together.
-
“The Quirkless Duo, aw what are you going to do now? Cry?”
“I wonder how your parents feel, only having one useless kid that can never protect them.”
“Ya’ know, if you want a quirk, there might be another way. Take a swan dive off the roof of the building, and pray for a quirk in your next life."
-
We are born into this world completely alone. And we die in this world completely alone.
Only fools believe that they can escape that.
‘What would you know, Y/N, you're quirkless.’
You were truly alone in every stage of your life.
"You're becoming exactly what we feared, Midoriya.”
He stopped in his tracks, swallowing the rising bile that crept up his throat.
“If I knew this is what I'd get after standing up for you those countless times where I got hurt, where I got kicked and punched and teased everytime I defended you, I would have just let you jump off that roof.”
The wind wailed through the night sky, moving everything in its path.
“You're no hero Midoriya. But you’re right about one thing. You’re the fucking reason everything around you is getting destroyed.”
It was funny to think that their first and last meeting would be on this rooftop.
Midoriya looked at the world, greyer than it had ever been.
It had lost life.
He waited until he heard the door shut behind him.
This life truly had nothing to live for.
#my hero academia x reader#boku no hero fic#boku no hero x reader#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha angst#bnha x reader#angst no comfort#mha oneshot#mha oneshots#angst#angst oneshot#bnha angst#bnha midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#izuku x reader#mha izuku#bnha izuku#midoriya izuku#izuku mydoria#mha#deku#mha deku#bnha deku#deku x reader#midoriya x reader#midoriya x y/n#midoriya x you#izuku midoria x reader#izuku angst
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Sisterly Love
Request: hi! could you do a fic with nat and yelena? i’ve been missing these sisters sooo much lately. maybe yelena is having a bad day so natasha gives her cheer up tickles (which yelena secretly loves) or something like that? with some gentle back tickles? if not, no worries! love your fics so much, you’re an amazingly talented writer!
Note: Thank you so much for the kind words and for this request! I appreciate you being patient with me getting this fic out. Nat and Yelena are so cute, and I love writing for their close sister bond. Enjoy!
Word Count: 857
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Yelena was having a rough day. It seemed like luck wasn’t on her side at all. First, Fanny pooped inside the house this morning, then Yelena found a bug in her cereal, and then she had stubbed her toe while walking to dump out her bowl.
The blonde was now on the couch, pouting and not doing anything to avoid any more bad luck scenarios. However, Natasha had noticed and was concerned since her sister was usually goofy and planning mischievous pranks.
“What’s wrong Yelena?” Natasha asked softly, taking a seat next to her.
“It’s nothing Natasha,” Yelena said flatly, as Natasha knew something was wrong since her sister usually referred to her as ‘Poser.’
“Yelena, I know you better than anyone and I know something is up. You can trust me with whatever it is,” Natasha said, softly placing a hand on her sister’s shoulder.
Yelena knew it was true, but the only thing holding her back was embarrassment. It seemed silly to dwell over the small things that had happened today. Most of them were inconveniences but not anything that had hurt her or others.
Yelena just shook her head and scooted away from her sister, much to Natasha’s dismay. However, being the excellent spy she was, Natasha could feel and sense the mischief coming off of her sister. She wasn’t in her grumpy mood anymore. She was in her ‘tough act’ mood.
“Guess I have to cheer you up somehow right?” Natasha said, following her sister.
The slight hitch in breath from Yelena was all Natasha needed to know that her sister was trapped and knew she was in for some form of tickling.
“Natasha don’t!” Yelena gasped, as Natasha poked her ribs.
“Oh so she speaks!” Natasha teased, gently spidering her fingers up and down her sister’s sides.
“Nahahahat stahahahap,” Yelena giggled, squirming on the couch, but not pushing her sister’s hands away.
“You like this don’t you?” Natasha asked, as Yelena struggled to hold in her giggles.
“I wanna hear that happy laughter from my baby sister again,” Natasha cooed, as she gently dug into Yelena’s ribs. Despite it being gentle tickling, this made Yelena belly laugh.
“AHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHATASHA PLEHEHEHEASE,” the blonde cried, half-heartedly swatting at Natasha’s hands.
“Please what?” Natasha asked.
Yelena continued laughing without saying anything, which Natasha knew that meant that her sister was enjoying this and didn’t want her to stop. She knew the minute she wanted her to stop she would be very adamant about it.
“Are you all cheered up?” Natasha asked, skittering her nails over Yelena’s feet.
“YEHEHES IHIHI AHAHAM,” Yelena cackled while trying to kick her sister.
After letting her sister recover, Natasha finally asked what was bothering Yelena.
“It’s dumb…I just had so many minor inconveniences that it put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day,” Yelena explained.
“Is that why you were moping on the couch?” Natasha asked.
“I wasn’t moping. I just didn’t want to have any more negative things happen to me today,” Yelena insisted.
“I understand why you felt that way, and I’m sorry all those things happened to you. But luckily those seem like isolated incidents, so they probably won’t happen too often,” Natasha reassured her.
“I guess so,” Yelena agreed.
“Come here and snuggle with me. It’ll make your day better,” Natasha said, patting a spot next to her. Yelena quickly crawled over and snuggled into her sister.
“You know what else was an isolated incident today?” Yelena asked after a bit.
“What?”
“You being right,” Yelena said, as Natasha used one arm to trap Yelena and the other to scratch and tickle Yelena’s back.
“POHOHOSER NOHOHO,” Yelena squealed, jerking and squirming on the couch.
“What? I’m just giving you back scratches,” Natasha said innocently. Most people would see it as back scratches, but with Yelena, she was so ticklish that any trace or scratch would elicit giggles and laughter from her.
“Don’t move,” Natasha teased, as she continued to scratch her nails up and down Yelena’s spine, causing the younger sister to shriek with laughter.
“Well you moved so I guess I have to punish you even more,” Natasha said, as she now focused on doing quick wiggles over the back of Yelena’s ribs. The blonde absolutely lost it, falling into hysterical laughter that could be heard from outside.
“Geez, your back is that bad?” Natasha asked teasingly, occasionally tickling her sides.
“Say I’m right all the time and it’ll be over,” Natasha stated, as she continued to drag her nails all around her back.
“FIHIHINE yohohou’re alwahahahays rihiHIHIGHT,” Yelena barely managed to squeal out.
“Now was that so hard?” The redhead asked, knowing that Yelena loved to say certain things just so she would get tickles.
Yelena pouted and returned to her position to cuddle Natasha.
“Feeling better?” Natasha asked.
“Yes,” Yelena said, stopping herself from calling her sister a poser for once.
The two sisters cuddled on the couch and napped. Eventually they were woken up by the sound of Yelena’s stomach growling, which they both knew what that meant. It was time for macaroni and cheese. With hot sauce.
#natasha romanoff#yelena belova#yelena and natasha#marvel tickle#mcu tickle#black widow#marvel tickle fic#tickle fic#ler!natasha#lee!yelena#ticklish!yelena#marvel#marvel fic#marvel fanfiction#avengers tickle#avengers tickle fic#mcu tickle fic#mcu phase 4#sfw tickle#sfw tickle community
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Wherever Your World Is - Chapter 1
Fanfic Summary: A young mermaid filled with hope discovers secrets about her past and seeks to reunite with her family at many costs, getting her chance to be with the land dwellers she had grown so fascinated of. The mermaid strikes a deal with dark magic and begins her mission of becoming a human again. (A Bad Batch + Little Mermaid AU)
Chapter 1 Summary: A group of brothers remember the little sister they had lost, a sprinkle of hope igniting during a ritual of loss.
Notes: Hey friends! Back in early May, many of you had liked my idea of a Little Mermaid AU with the Bad Batch, and it is finally beginning! I can't promise weekly chapters or anything like that, so chapters will come out whenever I finish them! Thank you to @kurlyfrii for being my mutual partner throughout this project and for other mutuals always patiently listening to my ideas! I hope you all enjoy the ride this fic is in for! Read Chapter 1 below either on here or on AO3! Reblog to share!! divider by @stars-n-spice !
taglist: @kurlyfrii @orion-tyche @magicandmundane @biancadiangelosghost @sntofbirbs @half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk @fritoley @omegafett99 @bossboudicca @amalthiaph (let me know if you want to be tagged for future chapters!)
Oceans hold many secrets. The waves crashed against each other while sea creatures swam freely, playing their part to survive among the actions of land dwellers. The depths of the sea were dark, hiding away all those secrets.
Tales often sprung from those oceanic secrets that became rumors and myths on land. Krakens, sea killers, aquabeasts, the sea leviathan, and even mermaids. The stories of mermaids became the most loved tale, land dwellers either visualizing them as the most beautiful kind of creatures or the most dangerous. No one knew the true pain a mermaid could suffer under the sea. Their lives were stripped away from living freely on the surface of land. If they were to shed tears, each drop would simply just carry on with the waves.
Many sea creatures able to reach the ocean’s surface happily relished the soft ocean breeze. They squealed and chirped at each other, enjoying their travels.
A large sea ship painted in the dark colors of black and red moved swiftly across the waves. A large red skull was painted on the ship’s body, the signature emblem of the royal family. Sea creatures quickly swam away from the ship’s path, watching it pass by under the water.
Sailors reigned the sails high into the air. The mast could be visible to any who would be coming nearby. The wind passed through strongly, matching the cloudy weather of the day.
“My princes.” A tall middle-aged man approached four young men positioned in the center of the ship together. “We are approaching the ritual site.”
“Thank you, Shep.” Shep Hazard bowed his head, giving the men room to prepare.
One of the men, who had a tattoo matching the view of a sniper located over his right eye, glanced over at a man standing over the ship’s edge, looking out at the horizon. “Hunter.”
Hunter looked over at his brother. “I know. I’m coming.” His brother gave him a small nod, following his other brothers towards Shep.
Hunter held his red bandana in his hand, allowing the wind to make his dark brown hair fly. He watched the waves move violently, a few small sea creatures hopping up to the surface before falling back into the water. Hunter’s mind remembered how the waves acted the first time his brothers escaped to Pabu, making a new life for themselves.
His family fought as soldiers, a batch of enhanced clones proving themselves useful in the fight. Escaping the war was a hard decision, especially when they were bred specifically to fight one. But things were taking a dark turn. Many clones were disappearing, worlds were becoming more corrupt, and trust was starting to become something nonexistent around others. The enemy was advancing much rapidly and many more lives were being lost every day.
When Hunter and his brothers found out that there was a little clone created for the purpose of destruction, it got them thinking. The clone would be raised and used as a vital weapon for the enemy’s needs once the clone had grown old enough. It was something that could not happen.
After many debates, the clones made the decision to steal the young clone away from their creators to prevent the enemy from getting their hands on the clone. Finding out the clone was a female instead of a regular male was another shock. She was genetically engineered differently and was never going to be a simple soldier thrown into a war. She was meant for much more, and the Batch was not going to let the enemy take advantage of something that could make them win.
The little unnamed female was only a year old, frail to the touch while tubes and injection needles treated her like an object. Hunter remembered holding the clone in his arms gently while they made their escape.
A female clone. Their young sister.
She was safe with them where they were heading, but that didn’t last for long. Someone had taken her away from them, and she was unable to be found for the next thirteen years. The brothers looked as hard as they could with help from others, but there was no sight of their little sister.
Today was the day she had gone missing. The little youngling was ripped away from the family’s hands one dark night on their new home island, her cries echoing in the night until they dropped dead silent. Hunter remembered crying out for his sister, but he couldn’t remember what words came out of his mouth.
A bark broke Hunter’s trance. He tied his bandana around his head, fixing his hair. A large border collie looked up at him, and she appeared to be smiling up at one of her owners. Hunter knelt to give Batcher a scratch behind her ear.
Batcher was rescued by the family when she was found to be one of many creatures being experimented on for her strength and capabilities. Batcher had helped the brothers protect themselves while escaping with their sister, and the young dog had taken a liking to one of his brothers. She always went wherever her family moved, following along and being there whenever she was needed.
Hunter looked over at his younger brothers, who were gathered near Shep. He walked to his brothers, while Batcher followed behind. Shep smiled at Hunter, handing him an exotic golden flower. His brothers also held the same flower carefully in their hands.
To remember their young sister every year on this day, the Batch performed a traditional Pabuian memorial ritual which was commonly used to remember loved ones who were lost. It was a way of blessing their loved one’s soul and honoring their life, as the flower was a symbol of protection and said to be the flowers blooming in the afterlife. The ritual was mostly done in silence to allow those who grieved loss comfort, along with some Pabuian words said to initiate the ritual.
Hunter’s tallest brother, Wrecker, looked down at his flower with a pout. He could remember their sister’s tiny laughs she would make whenever Wrecker tickled her small tummy or Batcher licked her cheek. Hunter put a hand on Wrecker’s shoulder, managing to light a small smile to comfort his brother. Wrecker smiled back. They both missed their sister dearly.
Shep began reciting words in Pabuian almost like a song, beginning the ritual. One sailor kept the ship steady while the ritual began, saying a prayer to themselves. Batcher sat on the ship’s floor, listening to Shep and watching the ritual.
This part of the ocean was said to be the most sacred near the island according to Pabu’s legends. It was often used as a spot for rituals and other traditions for generations. Today it would be used once again to remember a loved one.
The brothers walked over to the ship’s right side where Hunter stood earlier, holding the flowers carefully in both of their hands. The Batch had become fluent in Pabu’s native language over the years with the help of Tech’s studious nature. They waited for Shep to pause, listening to every word being spoken. Wrecker stood next to his older brother, Echo stood in the middle, and Tech and Crosshair stayed with each other.
Hear us, oh dear soul
May our prayers reach you
We remember your memories
Let us call to you
Watch over us with all the love we give you
Listen to our blessings
Shep came to a stop, holding his hands together and closing his eyes in prayer. The Batch began the next step of the ritual, reaching out their hands that held the flower. They closed their eyes, mentally saying a prayer for their sister’s soul. They wished for her to be safe and full of hope, wherever she may be.
Shep and a few other sailors muttered a few words in the native Pabu language as the Batch lowered their heads, finishing their prayers. They allowed their hands to become loose, the golden flowers falling out of their hands. The flowers landed on the ocean’s surface, floating away as the waves carried them. The Batch opened their eyes, watching the flowers leave their ship. They spent an extra minute in silence after the ritual was complete.
“Should we head back to land?” Shep asked. He noticed Hunter growing more drowsy. “I think you all need some rest.”
Tech adjusted his glasses, turning to Shep. “Yes, that would be adequate.”
Shep instructed the sailors to return to the island. Wrecker wiped some tears away, deeply missing their sister. She was so small and innocent. They failed to protect her. Batcher pranced over to her family, giving them some needed comfort.
The ship turned around slowly to head back to land. Hunter remained standing, resting his arms on the ship’s side. The flowers disappeared from view, heading to wherever they were meant to go.
He felt a hand touch his shoulder, looking over to meet eyes with his youngest brother, Crosshair. Hunter could see the concern in Crosshair’s eyes. Crosshair knew how painful it was for Hunter when they had lost their sister. They both didn’t utter a word, but Hunter took in the sympathy he was getting from his brother.
Crosshair let go of Hunter’s shoulders, standing next to him and leaning on Hunter’s shoulder. He used his tongue to move the toothpick in his mouth to his left side, still staying silent. He felt like using words to comfort his older brother, though he also felt it was better to remain in silence in terms of the ritual.
Hunter didn’t move. Crosshair had always performed this act of silent consolation whenever he saw Hunter needed it the most. Crosshair knew he wasn’t the best at trying to make people feel better, but he did whatever he could.
Hunter exhaled. Thirteen long years. Years spent safely away from the war. Years with his brothers. Years without his little sister.
He couldn’t help but feel that their little sister had to be out there somewhere. Alive. He didn’t even want to think about the possibility that she may be dead. Hunter and his brothers spent years searching as hard as they could, and Hunter never stopped trying while they had the chances.
It would likely take a miracle and the Force to bring back their little sister to them. Hunter spent nights secretly praying to himself and sometimes with his brothers. Wherever she may be, she would find her way home to her world.
End Notes: I know I began the fic on an emotional note, but next chapter will be more enjoyable! I hope you all like it so far, please share with others if you want, comment your thoughts, and also check it out on AO3! You all may have a lot of questions but answers will be revealed as the fic carries on and more characters come in! This is just a prologue! Can't wait to see you all next time!
#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#sw tbb#little mermaid au#the bad batch omega#the bad batch hunter#the bad batch crosshair#the bad batch echo#the bad batch tech#the bad batch wrecker#shep hazard#emerie karr#royce hemlock#tbb scalder#phee genoa#lyana hazard#nala se#bad batch#the bad batch season 3#tbb s3
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