#there's so much hate and for what fucking reason?!
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O4 stuck with you — screaming and fighting !
scaramouche x gender neutral reader
You and Scaramouche were dragged backstage and away from prying eyes, faces flushed and chests rising as the adrenaline from the argument on stage had yet to wear off. The dressing room was still, only filled with you both throwing insults at one another. The rest of your group members shared sheepish looks with one another, deciding to let you both get it out of your system.
As soon as the door was tightly shut you whirled around to face Scara.
“You just always have to get the last word, don’t you?” you asked, stepping closer to him.
“You’re the one who started yelling at me, I was just defending myself,” Scaramouche replied, his tone equally heated, but his posture was much more composed than you.
“You’re the one who told me to give up,” you accused.
“Yeah, give up the trophy so I could hold it,” Scara sighed.
“Yeah, as if you deserve to hold it.”
“Now that you mention it, I do deserve it more than you.”
“You don’t know what it’s like to actually work for something,” you glared, voice laced with contempt, “You probably get everything handed to you by your mom.”
He glanced away, abruptly uncomfortable. “You shouldn’t talk. Your voice is even more unpleasant when you’re whining.”
Naturally, you kept talking
“That’s the only reason you’re even here with the rest of us,” you continued, letting your jealousy cloud your senses, “I can’t be the only one who thinks that.”
Scaramouche’s face hardened. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he muttered, shoving his way past you to leave the dressing room before turning around one last time.
“Nobody even knew she was my mother until I became a trainee. I used a different name on the application forms. But if hanging onto that little fact makes you feel better about being so pathetic then be my fucking guest.”
And with that he slammed the door behind him.
You hated the way he could make you inexplicably self-conscious. It used to be a foreign sensation, one left behind long ago in insecure adolescence.
You stood there, breathing heavily, as the door swung shut. The room was silent, everyone stunned by the intensity of the confrontation.
Lumine stepped up and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, slowly guiding you outside to cool off.
“We’re also gonna head back,” Aether awkwardly laughed, grabbing Childe and Kazuha by their collars and dragging them out.
“So, that just happened.”
“Shut up, Venti.”
“We really need to broaden your vocabulary, Y/n. Your insults could be better.”
“You too, Fischl! Zip it!”
stuck with you!
masterlist — prev | next
begging u guys to let me use ur usernames as fans in this au pls let me make u a crazy stantwt user xx but pls comment on the masterlist so i see it
also everyone saying scara keeps eating yn up w insults is sending me 😭😭
title from the way i loved you by ts it suits scarayn so well
synopsis — after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!
notes — 👍 leave me comments and asks instead of begging for updates pleek i need motivation to post more
taglist — @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @iheartpieck @jangyung @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @haeunoo @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @kitsuvil @scarasmood @ihearttori @nomurahayami @starringyau @androxphobic
#scaramouche x reader smau#scaramouche x yn#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#scaramouche smau#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche texts#stuck with you smau
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-ˏˋ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ CRUSH HDCS ࿐ྂ Pt. 1.....
WARNING: × pure fluff in my opinion
SUMMARY: just some idiots with a crush...you :)
CHARACTERS: Aether, Albedo, Al-haitham, Amber, Arlecchino, Ayaka, Ayato & Baizhu x F!Reader
WORD COUNT: 1.537
AETHER
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Paimon is so done with his constant ranting and crying about you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 She had to stop herself from telling you so often like "Just PLEASE date him already" because she couldn't just fall into her besties back like that
ᯓᡣ𐭩 you would think he doesn't really like you cause he's all quite. Wrong, he actually jusz tries to cope with his rising heat and nervousness around you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 did he once tell you that you smell nice even tho you were sweating lile a sinner in church? Yes
ᯓᡣ𐭩 did he also tell you that you look a bit different and like you haven't slept good after a haircut?...yes
ᯓᡣ𐭩 listen, he was concerned for you-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 everything was so embarrassing for him he thought you hate him now--- well, you didn't. Its hard not to find this weird and awkward ball of sunshine nice
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he also helps you out a lot, no matter whats the issue he's ready to help. And Paimon is the third wheel
ᯓᡣ𐭩 sometimes when he's nervous and talks to you he like suddenly needs to swallow down spit cause it gets stuck in his throat?? Idk how to explain it but i have this issue lol and its so hard to cover up the swallowing cause then people know youre nervous-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 literally once walked into a wall because he was looking at you. Luckily no one saw...except Paimon--she won't let him forget that ever
ᯓᡣ𐭩 speaking of Paimon, bro literally asked her for advice, and she was useful? Hey, look. Shes more than just emergency food-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she was like, "If you truly love someone, you cook them something good! Love goes through the stomach!"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and thats why he desperately cooks for you every day---just put Paimon out of her misery and kiss him already
ALBEDO
ᯓᡣ𐭩 has no idea how and why it happened but he won't complain, you are pretty so-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 kinda takes it as an opportunity to study love a bit lol. Its not like he's dumb, far from that, he knows what hes feeling and why he feels attracted to you.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 but somehow he can't tell you, words fail him to explain why although he knows
ᯓᡣ𐭩 is confused and is irritated lol
ᯓᡣ𐭩 did tell Succrose about it and my girl can hardly keep secrets-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 oh and like around a week after he noticed his crush on you he confessed
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he's pretty blunt and honest, straightforward if you will.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 there's honestly not much to say, he knows he likes you, also probably knows it's mutual, logic conclusion would be that he confesses so you two can consider a relationship after some time
ᯓᡣ𐭩 easy??? Like what's not to get???
AL-HAITHAM
ᯓᡣ𐭩 the strongest feeling he ever had for someone else was a book character-and that's also pretty rare cause he doesn't read fiction he only reads facts-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 treats you normally with a sprinkle of kindness
ᯓᡣ𐭩 you don't notice, no one would notice. Good for Al-Haitham cause ew what if people realize hes just a regular human being?? Can't have that
ᯓᡣ𐭩 would tell you to take breaks and eat an apple or other fruits in those breaks so you can concentrate better afterwards. Oh and take a breath of fresh air
ᯓᡣ𐭩 keeps the bitch face on. Only drops it when you're not looking.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 finds it incredibly cute when you play with your hair or bite your lip. Your concentration is adorable...
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you read like him, he would consider reading one of your favorite books, even if it's stupid and not his thing at all. He wants a good reason to talk to you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 has no idea how to get out of the "I'm so fucking cool" bs to actually get closer to you without seeming cringe or needy
ᯓᡣ𐭩 feelings aren't his thing but hey, he trys. Just pay more attention and maybe you make it easier for him by doing the first step
AMBER
ᯓᡣ𐭩 nah cause she's so honest about it-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 probably all Mondstadt and their granny's know that Amber has a crush on you, except for you....dumbass
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she always asks you if you wanna join her on god knows what adventures
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she also always packs lunch for you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 like i said, she is pretty vocal about it and shows it quite well that she has an interest in you....and youre just brushing it off as kindness
ᯓᡣ𐭩 always ready to help! And she doesn't even need a thank you. Helping you is enough to make her happy, seeing your relieved is all she needs.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 gifts you flowers on a regular basis because they're just as pretty as you ♡
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's so straightforward about her crush on you it's insane. People think she's dating you already, well wrong--
ᯓᡣ𐭩 big talk and actions but when it comes to beinh very vocal about her feelings she shuts down-she would stutter and blush not knowing what to say-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 like, pls stop being so oblivious to her attempts and just tell her you like her--then she'll confess too!
ARLECCHINO
ᯓᡣ𐭩 look, she's a busy woman (father), she doesn't have time for stupid crushes. She'll either tell you immediately once she figured it out, or just waits till the feelings disappear over time.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 why? If she is uncertain that this would work out with a fatui harbinger, then she wouldn't confess at all. You won't notice a thing.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 but if she does feel like it could work out, maybe not immediately because you need time...and yeah maybe she needs to know a 100% too, she would court you (??)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 presenting you the finest things from all nations. Also giving you ifts from your home region cause...well maybe you miss it? And if you're from Fontaine she gives you only the most expensive shit hidden from all normal ordinary people-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she sneaks her way in your heart ngl-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and if she ever sees you with one of the things she gave you, she would make sure others know. Who knows who might have an interest in you.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 would also make some space in her schedule just for you. Lets you know too. No, not to make you feel bad, nahhh. She wants you to know how important you are to her.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and that she will always have time for you no matter what.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's kinda advertising herself. "Look, I'm the baddest bitch around."
AYAKA
ᯓᡣ𐭩 also makes space in her very busy schedule just for you. And if she can't find the time so you both can be alone, she takes you with her to her appointments and everything.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 wants her brothers 'ok' for it all. She wouldn't feel quite comfy if Ayato wouldn't like you. Thomas opinion is also very important to her.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if she every plays this weird cooking game with you, she trys to make it tame. She doesn't want you too disgusted or near throwing up cause then she'd feel bad
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and also trys cooking for you normally. She trys ok, she's getting better and better. Takes this as an excuse to cook your favorite meals.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 dances with you! She's shy about it but she does. Ayaka teaches you her favorite dances and moves, and would get quite close to you by doing this...plus for her
ᯓᡣ𐭩 but besides this she's very shy about her crush on you and won't admit it very fast. Even after months she wouldn't dare say a word about it to you or hint anything to drastic.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 tbh, it has to be you who would need to make the first step lol
AYATO
ᯓᡣ𐭩 very obvious...I mean...he gives you flowers, jewelry, new clothes. He takes you to events or dinners, important meetings. Lets you stay in the Kamisato estate for free. Bitch you even have your own room??
ᯓᡣ𐭩 ITS SO OBVIOUS
ᯓᡣ𐭩 i can't tell you more, except, just...just talk with him about it. Confront him and say, "yes" that's all he wants to hear from you.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and see you happy ofc
BAIZHU
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if Chansheng can keep her mouth shut he wouldn't tell you at all. Or at least not so fast.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you know, you know. Baizhus story is...something. i won't spoiler tho
ᯓᡣ𐭩 because of that he needs to be very sure about it all. He can't just jump into something that might not work out at all or have no future in the beginning.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he would show his interest with nice little gestures. Giving you medicine for free, helping your loved ones when sick also for free, smiling just a bit more at you or teaching you about herbs and all.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he's very gentle with you, scared he might break you. In truth it's actually him who would break--
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Qiqi would notice, she's a smart girl ofc she would. Yeah she knew you two were a thing before you two knew lol
ᯓᡣ𐭩 oh yeah and Changsheng blew it all-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Your hands wouldn't shake so much if you wouldn't love her"
TAGLIST ♡
@hehothrowawayfae @lucienbarkbark @ryu--19 @theblades @rikasurl
#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#aether x reader#al haitam x reader#amber x reader#ayaka x reader#ayato x reader#baizhu x reader#arlecchino x reader#x f!reader#x fem!reader#x female reader#genshin impact paimon#genshin headcanons#genshin hcs
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HAIII, sorry if this is confusing, but can i request joost with a reader who is like... a TERRIBLE social reject but also makes music... they dread doing concerts, releasing full albums, and interviews but they still do it for their career?...
hii, yes ofc <3
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Bed Peace
You’re an anxious singer and your boyfriend Joost comforts you the morning of one of your shows
sfw: fluff, light angst
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You lay tangled in the bed of your hotel room with Joost. You grimaced at the empty bottles and shot glasses littering the coffee table, the headache from your hangover squeezing your head and pinching the back of your eyes making you more miserable than you felt last night. Your body was destroyed with fatigue and from the two-hour concert you’d had last night, ears still aching from the sounds of the music and screaming fans. You dreaded the fact of knowing what the day held in store for you today.
It was only moments like these that brought you true happiness, your boyfriend sleeping peacefully behind you with his strong arms around your waist. He was always so calm. He was like a pond, still and beautiful, nothing ever disrupting his mood that always seemed to be cheerful, and if he wasn’t it was still always so contained and rational. You didn’t know what to compare yourself to, a riptide, a never-ending storm that could only be lulled into security with substances and the presence of your sweet boyfriend who put up with your worries.
Joost woke up when he felt your heartbeat against his hands. It was certainly a strange way to wake up, and incredibly alarming to see that you were already so distraught first thing in the morning. It was crushing to see you this way, he tried whatever he could and still, he felt like a failure. Since you’d been together you’d turned him into a better person, he felt the difference every day when life had slowed down and everything felt and appeared more beautiful. He wished that he could do that for you, but he was beginning to realize that the issue was far bigger than you both.
“You’re always up before me.” His voice was still groggy with sleep, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder. “We overdid it last night, hm?”
You didn’t respond, staring at the empty bottles under the exposing morning night you couldn’t help but feel a bit ashamed. You felt Joost kiss your cheek, putting his fingers underneath your chin so that you’d face him.
“I think you have to get up soon.” He dreaded saying it as much as you did. “Big day today.”
You groaned, rolling over so that you’d be able to bury your face into his chest. You breathed him in, he still smelled faintly of the body wash he always traveled with which somehow calmed your nerves.
“I wish I could cancel the stupid fucking interview.” Your profanity made him chuckle, bringing you closer into his arms. “Do you think I can?”
“For the second time?” Joost asked, his voice gently suggesting you to be more rational. “It’s short, and you’ll do a good job like always.”
Even if you were media trained to the point you felt like a circus animal, you abhorred nothing more than doing pointless interviews and touring. You tried to avoid falling into more dangerous substances, facing it all head-on, and by the end, you were dizzy and overcome with anxiety. You’d always been so anti-social, it was a miracle that you had someone like Joost who was effortlessly charming and sociable. You wished that you could take some of it for yourself.
“I hate it.” You mumbled, glancing at the clock on the wall realizing that you didn’t have too much time.
“I know, baby.” He said, kissing you. “But you love to sing, and I love it too, so it’ll be worth it.”
“It’s easy for you.” You retorted. “You know I just want to sing and do nothing else.”
“It doesn’t work like that.” You frowned hearing his tone shift into something more serious, forcing him to be the voice of reason. “Your career isn’t like mine.”
He was right. Your career was much more serious than his. It wasn’t that Joost was careless, but he could be himself and have fun with his career while you couldn’t. You wished it was the same way for you, even knowing you couldn’t be half as charming if you tried.
You wanted to stay with Joost in bed all day. You held him closer, expecting him to pressure you to get up again, but you felt him give into you when he pulled you atop his chest. His arms wrapped around your waist, and you two stayed embracing each other in silence for a while.
You hoped that Joost would fall asleep, giving you an excuse to do the same and blame him when you’d inevitably wake up and realize you’d missed the interview. You propped yourself up only to make direct eye contact. Your face flushed with anxiety, forcing yourself to smile to try to dull the intensity you felt.
“How badly do you not want to go?” Joost suddenly asked the blush on your cheeks now feeling unbearable.
You stifled the tears forming in your eyes. Joost cared about you so much, no matter how stubborn and self-deprecating you could be he was always so gentle. You felt his hands cup your face, his thumb smoothing down on your cheek tenderly.
“I don’t want to.” You mumbled. “I just want to stay here with you, before my show.”
“Ok then, liefde.” He whispered, bringing your head forward to kiss your nose. “Oh no.” He said in a concerned tone.
“What is it?” You asked, feeling your heart rate pick up. Your anxiety was always set off so easily. “Joost.” You pressed.
“You feel really warm.” You realized he was being sarcastic, feeling a smile form on your face. “I think I have to call your manager m’en meisje is getting sick.”
You watched in relief as he grabbed his phone from your shared nightstand and sent a text to your manager, turning his phone to show their quick response. You could feel their annoyance through the message, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. The relief felt almost invigorating, your anxieties and worries melting away all at once knowing that you could spend the rest of the afternoon in bed with your boyfriend.
“I love you, Joost.” You said sweetly, kissing him over and over again on his cheek. “You’re the best, I’m serious.”
“I’m just selfish.” He chuckled, kissing you back, “I want to keep you with me all the time.”
“I wish.” You said a bit solemnly, knowing that the time would quickly pass as it always did when you were happy. “I’m glad you’ll be at my show at least.”
“I’m your biggest fan.” He pinched your cheek lovingly.
You settled into your boyfriend’s arms, the safety and unconditional love soothing your heart completely. You wished that you could love your career, not just the act of singing. You wished you could grow to love the process of waking up before the sun to write and record songs for hours every day until your entire body ached with boredom. You didn’t know what you would do without Joost, he was your person in all of this.
“I really love you, Joost.” You mumbled, feeling both of you slowly getting taken away by sleep again. “I’m so lucky.”
“I love you more.” You could hear him getting more tired, it was cute. “And I’m luckier.”
“You’re falling asleep again?” You whispered, trying to keep the calmness of the room.
“Mhm.” He hummed, his eyes still shut. “You should rest too, you’re sick remember?”
-
ya’ll i hope i’m using these dutch words right… hope u enjoyed
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hyunjin, the heartthrob
[pairing: fem!dom!reader x sub!hyunjin]
[warnings: smut, degradation (like a lot), dumbassery, confusion about feelings, angry sex (kinda?), unprotected penetration (don't do this), choking, hair pulling, bondage, cunnilingus, light slapping (like twice)]
[REPOST FROM MY DELETED SMUT BLOG]
[author's note: i can't do this anymore, the grip he has on my brain is insane. this is kinda weird?? read at your own risk lmao, not responsible for the brain damage, pt.2 might be written?]
hyunjin as the type of guy to be the uni heartthrob annoying you for no apparent reason. he keeps following you around, trying to talk to you, even tho your replies make it quite clear that you want him gone. you're the quiet, scary and academic type and he's the loud, funny and popular type. the entire campus questions why he's following someone like you around, but they're afraid of saying anything because his friends always keeping lurking, glaring down anyone who tries to question him.
even tho his friend group looks quite intimidating in the distance, they're just a bunch of dorks. and so is he. but with a massive crush on you. he finds you quite scary tho, your almost neutral expression and no bullshit attitude intimidating most people that come your way. he saw just a glimpse of your kindness once, when you baby-talked to your friend's cat, he almost lost it. but he mostly sees your other side, the undefeatable one that shows in the debates in your sociology class that he sneaks in to watch, the mean one that you once used to make someone cry when they targeted your bestfriend.
he gets off to that meaner side of you, that's his dirty little fantasy. he wants to be degraded by that side and be used for your amusement while he's unable to do something to help himself, and your softer side to soothe him afterwards.
but that just stays a fantasy.
until..
you're in the library one weekend, just to return some books and pick up new ones for your research, you walk out to the corridors to see none other, than hwang fucking hyunjin. he wasn't expecting to see you there, but he bursts into a smile, pulling his attention from whatever he had in his hands.
"hey, yn!" he waves at you, you shove your stuff into your bag and walk the opposite of his direction, also opposite to where you need to go. you can't do this right now.
it's not like you hate him, you think he's cute, you're beginning to get used to him following you, maybe you'd even give him a chance on a good day. but your day has been shitty enough as is. you can't bring yourself to interact with him just now.
"heyy, you didn't wave back." he jogs up to you and starts walking alongside you. oh how you wish he'd just be his own way for once.
he doesn't like your lack of reaction. you're not even sparing him a glace!
"come ooonnn, stop ignoring me!" he pouts at you with a whine all too dramatic.
"leave me alone, hyunjin" you hiss at him. you really don't wanna say something worse, but it's like he trying to........ provoke you? he's being much more pushy than he usually is, and there's no one in the corridors on a godddam weekend and you're very fucking close to snapping.
"ynnn!! pay attention to me!" he whines again, really wanting to provoke you. he's not blind, he notices you're not in a mood to be messed with. but a tiny, little parts of him wants to push you further, to maybe make you snap at him.
and when he crosses the line and touches your waist, you do.
you snap.
pushing him to nearest wall with some force, drawing his breath out of his lungs. you pin him there and your anger flows out, in sharp, hurtful words.
"the fuck do you think you were doing? what makes you think you can touch me? is this another dare from your group of fuckboys? or are you just a little attention whore who thinks he's entitled to everyone?"
you didn't mean a word you said, your anger was making up stuff on it's own, but he was flushed, a wild red on his face, that's when your gaze dropped to the floor, looking at whatever he dropped when you shoved him. you lean down to pick them up.
pictures. of you. not too many, not pictures taken by invading your privacy, but a few snaps of you in the corridors, or the canteen, or the library. times when you were fully aware he was there, from that one polaroid phase he had, he used to carry that thing around for a full two weeks.
the pictures flip something in you, you take your chances with him. you wanna test him, you know it's risky, but your brain isn't weighing it very well currently.
"god, hyunjin. look at you-" your voice drops an octave without you even realising it, and it does things to him that can't say out loud. you wave the photographs at him.
"-taking pictures of me like a little creep? so filthy. following me around like a desperate little slut. were you hoping to be discovered?"
you didn't expect him to be as affected as he was. breath uneven from your jump scare a second ago, ears red, with some of redness bleeding into his face, still affixed in the position you pinned him in. your leg shifts between his legs and his boner brushes against your thigh. what a surprise. he likes this. he looks away from you, but you turn his face to you with your forefinger, him gulping at the action. adorable.
"you really are an attention whore aren't you? following me around like that? clicking pictures of me? bothering me and hoping I'll take notice? pathetic." you tsk at him, he looks on the verge of tears but his boner says a different story, you experimentally press you leg over it, recieving a small whimper in return. yup, he's definitely enjoying this.
"you got hard just by me yelling and shoving you huh?"
he's torn, his brain sending him mixed signals, he's embarrassed, he wants to go back to his dorm and hide and never show his face to the world ever again. but he likes this, part of him wants you to humiliate him more, maybe do things to him that he won't be able to forget. and a part of him is even more embarrassed at the route his thoughts are taking.
you're not thinking straight. he's hot, you shouldn't be doing this, but some predatory instinct inside you wants to. you use him as a catalyst to get your mind off of whatever has been bothering you. it probably shouldn't be a big deal, he wants this anyway.
"tell me hyunjin, do you really think i don't notice? you think i didn't notice you staring at me when I was with Lin and her cat? do you really think i didn't see you when I had to drive that asshole away from her? you think i don't notice how you sneak into sociology and watch me from the corner? i do. how will you explain all that huh?"
fuck. he didn't think you noticed. he really has no explanation. he's fucked. you could report him, or worse, out him infront of everyone, you even have the photos with you. he should have thought this through. he's done for. he's pretty sure you're gonna report him-
"i'm sorry! please don't-"
"make up for it."
"w-what?" he's pulled out of his trance.
"well, since you've behaved like a pathetic slut, make up for it by actually being one. maybe then i'll forgive you"
he gulps, he would do it without second thought but he doesn't know if you're kidding or mocking him. he even has no idea how to say it, so he just sighs and nods.
"that's what i thought. follow me."
he follows you on shaky legs as you lead him outside of campus, and the next thing he knows, he's being pinned to the door of your apartment while you unbuckle his belt and whip it out of it's place. he has no idea what to expect when you detach yourself from him and seat yourself on the couch.
"come here." you order and he follows, walking over to you.
"strip." you say, he feels exposed under your intense gaze, even with you sitting down on the low couch while he stands in front of you, he feels like he's on display. he can't say he doesn't like it tho. so he puts on a show for you, peeling of each piece of his outfit one by one, jacket, followed by his shirt, then his pants, all in quite sultry a manner before he stops, only his boxers on, and looks at you uncertainly.
"off." is all you need to say before he's kicking them away, his erection springing free. you look at him for a good while, soaking in details of his body, pretty neck and collarbones, lean arms and torso and such a slutty waist, further down to his painfully hard dick, red and leaking, body supported by strong and pretty thighs. and for a guy like him, he has a big dick.
he's aware of your intense stare on him, suddenly feeling very conscious of his own appearance.
you get up from your place, his belt still in one hand, the other going to his shoulder, making him shiver before it glides to his back as you make your way behind him, gripping his hips and pressing your front to his ass, as if to tease, making his breath hitch. you bring his wrist his wrists together behind his back and tie them together with his own belt.
"i'm giving you a chance to back out, i'll throw those pictures away and you can walk out like this never happened. do you wanna stop?" you whisper into his ear.
"n-no."
"good, then kneel" you smirk, pushing him down onto his knees and resuming your place on the couch.
you take a moment to admire how pretty he looks like this, kneeling infront of you with his hands tied back, breath uneven and so disheveled. so, so pretty.
as you take your pants off, his eyes fly to your covered heat, cute. you can't help but slowly press your foot down onto his dick, drawing a pained moan out of him because his dick has been neglected for so long.
you part your thighs and your eyes are enough to order him to get to work. he shifts to you and licks a long stripe on top of your wetness before you shift your panties to the side. he can't help but drool at the sight.
he starts working immediately, licking and sucking like a man on a mission. and he's on a mission indeed, a mission to prove himself somehow, because he knows this is probably the only time this is happening and he wants to make you feel as good as possible, make you remember him, because he sure as hell will never forget this. and certainly never forget the sudden moan from you as his tongue laps at your clit, noticing you're the most sensitive there. he keeps that in the back of his mind as he sticks his tongue inside of you, quite literally making out with your cunt. your hand comes down to grip at his hair, drawing a moan that vibrates straight into your core.
his tongue moves in and out of you while his button nose touches your clit with each movement, he pulls his tongue out only to attach his mouth onto your clit enveloping it in warmth and sucking on it, making you pull stronger at his hair before he resumes his work inside of you.
he's too good at this, it doesn't help that it's been a long while since you last did anything sexual.
you push him further into yourself by his hair and he moans right into you, the vibrations bringing you awfully close to your high. you release a breathy curse which motivates him to speed up.
you cum with slight spasms, chasing down the delicious feeling as your thighs close around him, burying him into you, almost suffocating him, but he keeps going nonetheless.
you yank him back by the hair to look at his cum drenched face, he finally catches his breath, making his chest heave as he looks up at you with hooded eyes. you give his face a slap, not too hard, yet he only moans at the impact.
"you like being slapped, slut?"
"y-yes" he nods as well as he can with the grip you have in his hair. you slap him again a couple of times, the redness resulting just adding to the extremely erotic look on his face.
"up." you instruct, he stumbles up onto his feet with a wince and you move to free his hands. his wrists are red, almost bruised by how hard he's pulled against the belt.
you lay back on the couch, beckoning him over.
"fuck me." you order. "if you can that is." you add after seeing the uncertainty on his face, he nods frantically.
"i c-can."
he says he can, but he melts the moment his dick enters you, he's too sensitive, having waited for so fucking long.
"feels so good. fuck." he moans into your ear at the feeling as he hovers over you. he starts to move, his length stretching you out and drawing heavy breaths out of you by the sheer size, his tip touches your g-spot without much effort, hitting it again and again as he starts moving.
his arms shake at your sides, everything becoming too overwhelming for some reason, your warmth wrapped around him, the stimulation suddenly making his head spin.
"f-fuck... " the poor boy is trembling, voice slurring as his hips move in an erratic manner, although it's taking you time to get used to him, you take the chances you get to mock him. your hand moves to wrap around his throat.
"you can't even fuck me, so pussydrunk already? i'll have to all the work myself huh?" he looks at you with glossy eyes as your fingers press down on the sides of his neck.
"please, please, please" he whimpers out, with no real context as to what he's asking for, his eyes screwing shut. his arms are barely keeping him up anymore, sweating and trembling like he'll fall.
"you're too fucked out to even use your brain huh? begging and you don't even know what for. it's okay tho, since that's all a dumb slut like you can do. i'll show you how you're supposed to make me feel."
you push him onto his back, getting a yelp in return and waste no time in grinding down onto him, resulting in a loud gasp from the boy. your hand finds it's way back to his throat. he lets go completely, hands falling to his sides and head pressing back into the cushions as he releases a string of broken moans while you ride him into oblivion.
"a-ah, fuckfuckfuck. oh god."
you laugh at his helpless sounds, suppressing your own becoming difficult.
"god isn't gonna save you here, baby."
that makes him let out a loud, almost sob like moan.
"please." he whines as his hips buck up in the slightest. you're getting closer with every passing second and it looks he is too.
"please what, sweetheart? want me to stop? because your pathetic self can't take it? or want me to fuck you dumb until you're left a babbling mess?" these words make him let out the loudest moan you've heard from a man. he really does get off on degradation.
"c-close. oh god, please. please. fuck." he's physically restraining himself from reaching out to you, hands grasping at whatever purchase he can find on anything around him.
"fuck. i'm close. you there? cum with me." you breathe out to him and he cums with a broken sob, his high hitting him like a train as his breath falters and his back arches beautifully, you keep moving throughout, riding out your own orgasm which hits in sweet waves, you keep going for a while after, just to overstimulate the boy a little, getting small, pained whimpers from him.
"c-can i touch you? please?" he asks, still in his post orgasm haze, his voice so adorably small that it makes you give in.
"go ahead." you say, expecting him to touch you tits or ass, but you didn't expect him to pull you body down to lay on top of him as you both catch your breath from your orgasms. he was holding on tight, like he'll fall if he let go. that little action did something to your heart but you pushed it back, not wanting to ruin the moment.
you originally planned to fuck him and kick him out, getting rid of those pictures anyway, but you think you don't mind if he stays for a while, you let him cling to you for a few minutes before the stickiness and stench of sex gets to you.
"hey, hyunjin? let's clean up hmm?" he makes a small noise but unwraps his arms anyway, but winces with you when you get off of his dick.
you pay no attention to his cum dripping out as you get yourself and him towels to clean up and put on some clothes.
he lets you drag him to the kitchen and accepts the water you give him, you're busy observing his features when his small voice snaps you out.
"i'm sorry." why is he apologizing? you find him looking down on the floor.
turns out he's sorry for clicking those pictures without your consent, it takes a while to convince him that you actually saw him taking those, just chose not to protest. well since you noticed him in places he didn't think you would, this didn't surprise him either.
you send him off with a warning not to die on the streets in a car accident.
fuck, you really need to get him out of your brain.
he's gone and you suddenly remember you need to clean your apartment before Lin comes over, you rush to find a way to get rid of the very obvious smell of sex in your living room, while you clean your brain goes on autopilot with it's thoughts.
so he's clingy after sex-
wait, what?
#skz#stray kids#kpop#hyunjin#stray kids x reader#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz imagines#skz x reader#dom!reader#sub!kpop#sub!idol#sub!skz#sub hyunjin#sub skz
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The Eye of the Hurricane [23] - Curiosity
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️
Summary: Relatives tend to pry.
Word Count: 2400
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of period, mentions of pregnancy. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
“Charm, I have a question.”
You applied your lipstick, completely focused on your reflection in the mirror. “Hm?”
“Why do we keep having dinners with people we hate?”
You scoffed a laugh, then put the cap back on the lipstick before turning to Bucky.
“I wouldn’t say I hate my aunt,” you said. “I hate her son, not her. She’s just…”
“What?”
“Annoying.”
“I’ll rephrase my question, why do we keep having dinners with annoying people?”
You leaned back to the vanity. “Because we have complicated families, Bucky. I know it’s news for you.”
His phone vibrated and he read the text before typing in his reply.
“I have this thing—”
“Don’t even fucking try it!” you cut him off. “We’re married dickhead, you’re going to suffer with me. It’s on the prenup.”
“Tomorrow,” Bucky finished his sentence as if you didn’t interrupt him. “I have this thing tomorrow so I’ll have no time for lunch after the therapist—did you seriously put I’d suffer with you on the prenup?”
“Figuratively.”
He shot you a grin. “We’re the best married couple I know.”
You tried to hide your smile by pursing your lips together and turned around, then leaned in to check yourself in the mirror again, pretending to fix your lipstick. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky eyeing you up and down, his intense gaze sending a shiver down your spine and you arched a brow.
“Whatever you’re thinking, you’d better not say it,” you warned him and he chuckled.
“Am I that obvious?”
“Just a little.”
“It’s just that…”
“Bucky.”
“You look beautiful.”
“Something tells me beautiful wasn’t the word in your mind.”
“Sweetheart,” he said. “You’re basically bent over in front of a mirror in that dress, there are so many things in my mind.”
You straightened your back to shoot him a look and he held up his hands, gesturing surrender.
“You asked.”
“Can you perhaps be less horny when we’re about to have dinner with my family?”
“I’ll try.”
“Much appreciated,” you deadpanned as you walked past him, with him following you behind out of the apartment. You pressed the button on the elevator, then took a deep breath.
“We’re not shooting or threatening anyone tonight,” you said and Bucky tilted his head.
“Are you telling me or yourself that?”
You clicked your tongue. “Both.”
*
You had never really liked spending time with your aunt even before your father started pitting you and Ian against each other for the heir position. At least she was never really around when you were growing up, even after Ian moved in with you, but she liked dropping by in the town from time to time.
And commenting on literally anything about you, from your relationships to how you looked.
Your aunt wasn’t even the only reason why this dinner was probably going to be tense as hell. Bucky was still furious at your father for the shit he pulled back at that dinner with the other families, so now you had to make sure no one started any fights while adamantly ignoring whatever your aunt would say to you.
Lovely.
“You must tell me all about the wedding!” your aunt said. “Starting with before it, actually. How did this—” she motioned between you and Bucky. “happen?”
Bucky gave her a charming smile.
“Well I suppose I managed to convince her,” he said. “Or after a while she got bored of rejecting me?”
“Reject you?” your aunt asked with a laugh. “Oh I can’t be the only one who remembers how she used to follow you around like a puppy, Y/N you were so adorable with that little schoolgirl crush!”
You stared at her for a moment, then heaved a sigh.
“Yeah, then I grew up and grew out of it.”
“Obviously not, sweetheart,” your father said, making Ian bite down a smirk and you gritted your teeth, the memory of Bucky turning you down that night flashing before your eyes.
What was it, he had called you?
Daddy’s spoiled whiny princess.
“I’m glad you didn’t,” Bucky said with a boyish grin and you reached out to grab your glass to take a sip of your wine.
Despite everything, despite you and Bucky getting along well nowadays, you still couldn’t shake off the resentment of that night. The anger, how pathetic he made you feel, it was still there even after years, but you frowned slightly, trying to focus.
“I suppose I should have seen this coming, there was this one time,” your aunt said with a laugh. “Back when you were in high school, I found your diary, do you remember?”
Your heart skipped a beat. “I remember you reading it, yeah.”
“I just wanted to make sure you were safe!” your aunt said. “What with you sneaking out of the house at night, I was almost positive you had a bad influence boyfriend. That’s what your mother would have wanted, God rest her soul, for someone to keep an eye on you.”
Your father heaved a sigh, taking a sip of his wine at the mention of your mother and you raised your brows.
“Anyways, I didn’t have anything to worry about—”
“Auntie,” you said warningly and she waved a hand in the air.
“Oh it was years ago Y/N, get over it—pages and pages about you,” she told him as the pins and needles of embarrassment sunk into your cheeks while a cocky smile curled Bucky’s lips.
“Seriously?”
“I swear,” your aunt said and Ian hummed.
“I remember that fight.”
“Yeah that’s what happens when someone invades someone’s privacy,” you said, forcing yourself not to look at Bucky who looked very pleased with himself for some reason. Your aunt let out a small laugh.
“We’re family,” she said. “These things happen.”
“Did you read Ian’s diary as well?”
“I didn’t keep a diary.”
“And it was years ago,” your father said. “Let’s not have the same fight again, hm? Because the last I remember, you threw multiple vases at the wall during that fight sweetheart.”
You bit at your tongue and cleared your throat.
“How was Monaco?” you tried to change the subject and your aunt shrugged her shoulders.
“That’s a long story,” she said. “But there’s no place like home, that’s all I’ll tell you.”
“Another break up?” you asked her and she narrowed her eyes, but unsurprisingly, the men around the table missed the curt glare you two threw at each other.
“Can’t I be back because I miss you all?” your aunt asked after a beat. “I would’ve been here for the wedding as well if you two hadn’t rushed it.”
“It was a beautiful ceremony,” your father said and she nodded.
“Honestly, with how rushed it was I told your father perhaps it was because there was something to rush about. There isn’t though, is there? I mean you’re drinking.”
You forced yourself to smile, then shook your head. “No.”
Bucky frowned, looking between you two before a look of realization dawned on his face.
“Ah no,” he said. “That’s not why. To be fair, rushing was kind of my fault. I’ve been in love with her forever, so I didn’t want to wait any longer. Thankfully she agreed.”
“And when can we expect that?” your aunt asked with a smile and Bucky choked on his wine before clearing his throat.
“Hm?”
“Not for a very long time,” you said and your father nodded with an uncomfortable expression on his face.
“I’m too young to be a grandfather, Nora.”
“Oh nonsense,” she told him. “You know what this business is like, and they’re in love! Obviously they want babies if they rushed the wedding. Have you two talked about how many yet?”
“I’m sorry, how many?” you repeated and she nodded.
“It’s good to be clear about the future, no? And Y/N once said she wanted two so Bucky, how many?”
Bucky blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat again.
“Uh…babies?”
“No, guns,” your aunt said with a laugh. “Of course babies!”
Bucky shot you a look as if begging you for help and you sat up straighter.
“That’s not in our plans right now.”
“But in the future?” your aunt insisted. “I mean surely you must have a number in mind.”
Bucky swallowed thickly, stealing a look at you. “Like um, like four maybe?”
You gawked at him. “I’m sorry, did you just say four?”
Bucky nodded his head.
“Yeah because you know, big family would be nice.”
“You—you do realize that for someone to have four kids, they’d have to spend three years as pregnant in total?” you asked him. “It’s basic math.”
“You want two, he wants four, three seems to be the perfect number,” your aunt joked and your father ran a hand over his face.
“They’ve just gotten married,” he reminded her. “It’s too early to talk about all that. More wine?”
You knew you and Bucky’s marriage was a sham and that you’d get a divorce as soon as you took over, but what you didn’t know was why exactly imagining Bucky having babies with someone else in his second marriage bothered you this much. The mere image was enough to churn your stomach, anger shooting through your system for some reason and you pursed your lips together, then held out your wine glass as well.
“Yes please.”
*
Alright, this was getting ridiculous.
Even you knew that you were throwing a fit out of nowhere, but that did nothing to calm you down. Ever since last night, your head was full of the image of Bucky having the picture-perfect family after your divorce, so you had been in a particularly cranky mood since then. You had barely said two words to him when you came home, going straight to bed and when you woke up, you were still sulking.
Bucky had asked you what was going on multiple times, you had no idea how to explain the fact that you didn’t want him to have perfect babies and be perfectly happy with a perfect woman in a perfect marriage without sounding selfish.
Which, in all honesty was incredibly selfish.
So when the psychiatrist sat down in front of you two, it took her a couple of seconds of complete silence to motion between you two.
“I’m sensing a bit of tension?”
“You and me both,” Bucky said. “I have zero idea why. Charm?”
You narrowed your eyes, then crossed your arms.
“He has a housewife kink.”
“Whoa!” Bucky exclaimed, his eyes going wide. “What?!”
“I’m guessing you haven’t talked about kinks before then?”
“Well, it was news to me.”
“It’s also news to me!” Bucky told you. “Charm, what the fuck?”
“Sex is a huge part of—”
“Sex is fine,” Bucky told Dr. Raynor before turning to you. “What’s going on?”
“If you want someone who’s gonna—who’s gonna—” you couldn’t help but stammer. “Like, stay in a cottage and bake pies, it's fine if she wants to, everyone has their own goals but I'm not that person and—”
“What are you even talking about?!”
“Alright, let’s take a breather,” Dr. Raynor said. “How would you describe your sex life, Bucky?”
“I would not.”
“Y/N.”
“It has nothing to do with sex, it has everything to do with the fact that he wants four babies.”
“What does it even matter?” Bucky asked you and you let out a scoff.
“It just does,” you told him. “First you pushed me out of the picture with Anna, and now I find out—”
“Jesus Christ, we talked about this!”
“Who’s Anna?”
“I’m glad you asked,” you told Dr. Raynor with a forced smile. “His new employee that he decided to hire even if I was told I would be involved in every single business decision and if you ask Bucky, it’s totally coincidental. Even if she’s hot as fuck.”
“Are you on your period or something?” Bucky asked you and your jaw dropped, fury shooting through you.
“Excuse you?”
He rolled his eyes. “That’s the only explanation I can think of for this nonsense.”
“Don’t ever ask me if I’m on my period again or I—”
“Let’s calm down,” Dr. Raynor said. “May I ask what brought this on?”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Bucky deadpanned, glaring at you and you took a deep breath.
“We had a deal before we got married,” you told her. “About me being involved in the business decisions.”
“It’s not even a big business decision for God’s sake,” Bucky said. “I told you before, it’s a trial period with Anna, that’s all.”
“And this…housewife kink?” Dr. Raynor said and Bucky rolled his eyes again.
“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer,” he said. “What does it matter, Charm? Hm? Considering the deal?”
You gritted your teeth and stole a look at Dr. Raynor before scoffing.
“I just don’t want to be pushed out of the picture when you find the person whom you want to have four babies with, alright?”
“Do you think you’ll get a divorce?” Dr. Raynor asked and you shifted your weight.
“Well, that’s always a possibility.”
Dr. Raynor frowned and Bucky gritted his teeth, an annoyed grin curling his lips before he clicked his tongue.
“No one is pushing you out of the picture, Charm.”
“I think we should talk about this insecurity though,” Dr. Raynor said and you let out a small laugh.
“I’m not insecure,” you said, your voice going a pitch higher. “I’m just saying like…I don’t want four babies.”
“And is this a deal breaker for you, Bucky?”
“I honestly don’t give a fuck,” Bucky said. “I was just speaking hypothetically, and before you ask again, she was the one who came up with that whole housewife kink thing—you have an actual kink for medieval knights, I’m not saying anything about that.”
“I don’t have a kink for medieval knights!”
“Do you mind if I give you both homework?” Dr. Raynor cut off your bickering. “How many times a week do you have sex?”
You and Bucky stared at each other before turning to her.
“Uh—” Bucky cleared his throat. “Charm?”
“Couple times?” you said like a question and Dr. Raynor hummed.
“I want you both to keep an intimacy journal.”
Bucky gawked at her. “Sorry, what?”
“An intimacy journal,” she said. “I want you both to write down how sex affects your communication and dynamic, how it feels before, during and after, and before the week is over, you will try one fantasy you’re both comfortable with, and write about how it made you feel.”
Bucky threw his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose and you nodded slowly, shifting your weight on the couch.
“Sex journal,” you muttered. “Wonderful.”
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#mob!bucky barnes#mob!bucky#mob!bucky x reader#mob! bucky#mafia!bucky barnes x reader#mafia!bucky barnes#mafia!bucky#mafia bucky barnes#mafia bucky x reader#mob bucky barnes x reader#mob bucky barnes#mob bucky x reader#mob bucky#mob boss!bucky#mob boss bucky barnes#mob au#mob!au#bucky barnes x you
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__♤________________________________________________
What he feels for you isn't love, far from it, but obsession, he doesn't want to cherish you and hold you, he doesn't need your love either. What he wants is to own you, hide you, rough you up and so much more...but never love you. Love comes with a price, it's a lesson he's learned. So he does the one thing that he's sure will do the trick, he kidnaps you. Afterall, who in their right mind would ever fall in love with their captor?
You. You do.
But honestly how could you not? How could you not fall in love when he spoils you rotten with novels of your choices? Ignoring the chain on your ankle is easy enough, small things like those are hardly a bother. How could you not fall in love when he provides everything you need and more? Forget the fact that he doesn't treat you like a person, you don't mind it when the benefits are so good. How could you not fall in love when he installs a bookshelf in your designated room for you plethora of books? No need to mention the fact that he doesn't let you out, you don't like meeting people anyways so it's a win-win situation.
And how could you not fall in love when he's so focused in fulfilling your demands of playing out scenes from your books? Whimpering and whining softly when you slowly ride his thick cock, too afraid to pick up the pace and distract him, his hand lazily resting on your thighs as he skims through the smutty portion of your newly bought novel that had you not-so-discreetly rubbing your thighs together. "You're supposed to be cumming after a few minutes now" he mumbles, finally tossing the book away and narrowing his eyes at the way your gummy walls swallow him oh so slowly. "But that's not gonna happen at this pace" he sighs, his hold on your hips tightening as he forcefully drags you up, up, up before slamming you down and pulling out a garbled moan of you. "I like this scene a lot so indulge me a little"
The food is good, your schedule is okay and the sex is great, you don't hate it so much so you choose to stay docile. So docile, in fact, that he gets rid of your chains entirely so and allows you to roam around the house, only around the house. You're not allowed to go out yet but you don't mind, you'd rather stay cooped up watching a movie, reading a book or even renovating a room entirely to your taste without a care in the world during the day. But oh, when the moonlight starts pouring in through the blinds is when you actually start getting busy.
Explaining your day when your knees are pressed up against your head and he's plowing his dick into you isn't really an easy job. Only being able to manage out broken sentences and garbled words when he meanly asks you questions after questions with each thrust, kissing your swollen lips as a reward when you actually manage to answer him, albeit barely. You start to think he's mean when his hand snakes down to your abused clit to draw taut circles on it, grin widening when you wail out at the overstimulation and scratch at his back. His reasoning of abuse? He's probably not fucking you hard enough since you're still able to think, why were you still talking?
He doesn't love you, he can't love you but he just can't help the pulls in his heart strings when you wiggle your way through his arms to rest your head ontop of his chest with a bright grin, asking him questions that you pull out of your ass. He can't stop the small smile tugging at his lips when you absent-mindedly flop down on his lap, leaning against him as you flip through your newly purchased book, too engrossed to notice his arms locking itself around your waist and burying his face in your hair. He can't stop the mini butterflies in his stomach from going wild when you lazily drawl out a 'Welcome back' from the couch in the living room, head propped up on the arm rest as you watch the movie adaptation of your favorite book for the billionth time. He doesn't love you but he sure as hell doesn't hate the way you love him despite his initial expectations. He doesn't need you to love him but sometimes, just sometimes, he just wants you to continue loving him like this sometimes.
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Midnight inspirations hitting me hard😖
Characters that this applies to? (I need serious help, writing this took all my thinking capabilites😔)
Satoru (I wrote this based off him in the start lol), Suguru?, Chrollo, Lawliet
Links : Masterlist ♤ Serieslist
#nuhuhwinniepooh#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#suguru x reader#jjk x you smut#jjk smut#suguru x reader smut#chrollo x reader#chrollo x reader smut#lawliet x reader#death note x reader
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Oh no
TW - racism and Slavery, power dynamics
really meh. IDK why they went mecha with the cherubs. The energy of the fight and how much it lasted was really lacking. I'm annoyed still by the "GUYS STOLAS IS SO SAAAAAD" bullshit. Why is the thumbnail so bad? I thought it was fake.
There is not an understanding of classism or power dynamics or anything.
Blitz was right, Stolas is a privileged asshole that constantly reduced their relationship into something sexual and belittled blitz, in remarks of him as a lower / IMP. Stolas did a scenario where Blitz job depended on them having sex. The series is creating a scenario where Blitz needs to love Stolas back because Stolas is so UWU sad baby that 'loves' him.
The main reason i hated the re-write of Stolas and blitz meeting-is because is exactly this: (something I've been aware of for a while.)
This exact situation of white slave owners making the kids of their slaves play with their white kids (I originally got introduced to this idea for a long form criticism of the Princess and the frog Story from Disney). IDK why would you make a scenario where there is inequality to the imps and how they suffer racism- if you just want Stolas to be in the right and Blitz in the wrong
I do not care if Stolas is sad and his life (even tho better because he is rich and has a literal book that gives him powers, vs being an IMP that could die, suffer from property and any possible scenario they are exposed to- or be a slave servant to the richer people because they were born imps.) he doesn't get to freed from all his wrong doings. No matter how depressed he is, his power is still higher and over Blitz. And creating a terrible scenario for blitz or any Imp for that matter.
They are really going for the plot line of But Stolas is a good rich privileged person.
Also, a scenario where the discriminated x privileged... There is the direct connection to the "what about everyone else".
If a non discriminated against person with big power is not bigoted to the person, the one they fell in love with. Does only that one discriminated person get saved from their social situation? Does everybody else still suffers because they don't happen to be the one. But what if the privileged person still discriminates against those people, but not their "special one".
Also... if you get a scenario as the discriminated one where you get to be saved from your situation, that's fucked. This person loves you if you say yes to them then you don't have to deal with being poor and as oppressed by the system but only you! Your entire group of people lives in the same conditions as you... If you say no, then you'll go back to being oppressed. This person on power hold power over you still. How much can you wight in with your own problems and boundaries, if the other one can throw you away into your old way of living. Can you leave the relationship? If you leave, you can get all the things you did with the privileged person cause maybe they don't hate you for being from a certain minority group, but the system over all hasn't changed. Can your group of people only get better life conditions by loving the pre-existing group in power? Those that person even like you, or do they like the power they hold onto you? Or maybe they like your race for your race more than you as a person.
Just a thing in the writing of this kind of story.
Also, character can have flaws, but they need to be recognized as flaws in writing.
Stolas are constantly victimizing himself (just like any sad privileged asshole would). He can't take the fact that if blitz is angry at him is for a reason, because he doesn't see his treatment of his as a bad thing. Cause in Stoals pov he enjoyed having power over blitz and calling him an IMP and forcing his romanticized view of the situation on to him- But Blitz was pulling a fast one to get money, This rich guy who he got gifted to as a slave playmate now is holding his job over his head in exchanged for sex, the same guy constantly does sexual advances towards him even when he explicitly says he doesn't want that (remember all of Loo loo land episode?), he gets call plenty of imp based "petnames" (“My impish little play-thing”) from a guy that can literary buy imps as slaves any day, suddenly he has to reciprocate his romantic feelings because he is sad, and apparently he wanted something more even thought he made it entirely empty and sexual all this time.
Stolas fake apologized, got fairly screamed at and victimized himself.
And apparently calling him out is bad for Blitz to do? Victim blaming.
I think by the last episode, they are going to kick Stolas out of the castle, technically putting him in a similar social position to imps with nowhere to go. Even if it doesn't magically work that way. -and Stolas is going to be "more sad and more in the right, so Blitz has no ground to complain now, right!?" ...
The way all of this episode and series is written tries so hard to delete any negative feeling against systemic problems, classism related issues, etc. if it's against a character the series wants you to like. If it's Stolas then he did nothing wrong, the power dynamic doesn't exist... if it is Mammon then he is a terrible person holding his power over others' capitalism sucks... oh but not Stolas tho! If it is Ozzi there is no power dynamic over a disabled imp, constant searching for appreciation from someone he fells is above him (like he tried to get with Mammon, because Ozzie is a good highly privileged person. No bad things to look out for! Fuck capitalism, but I'm one of the good rich people, no criticism is possible!
All that bad stuff could that people in my position of power is awful! But I would, could never do that! Because I'm a good one! Hmm
If you don't see the problem here, you may be a problem or may be justifying something terrible.
Also, funny enough about the short of Millie and Sally... I can't believe you only get content of a female character AND MILLIE IN SPECIFIC in extra side content that Viv didn't even care enough to write herself... and also the short gave me nothing new about her, I got more for Sally (and finally something normal! More than a line and she gets to have a character).
I hope there is a better episode for her.
#vivziepop critical#hazbin hotel critical#vivziepop critique#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#vivziepop criticism#hazbin hotel critique#helluva boss critique#hazbin hotel criticism#anti vivziepop#tw racism#tw slavery
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I think that prior to Tim being found out as a spider demon, only Cass had good thoughts about Spiders. And maybe Damian but in more of a "don't kill it, you put it in a cup and move it to the garden" kind of way. Dick *hates* them and Jason had a bad experience with Beast Boy using the form of a spider the size of a dinner plate to jump scare him when he was still Robin.
As for how he makes his silk, i once saw a design of a spider demon that had two black dots at the corners of its mouth and when it pressed a finger to the dots and pulled them away, a line of string was hanging between their finger and the dot. I think his thread looks like normal spider thread (including the size) but is durable enough that only a few strands can stop a charging Bane. It's possible for him to take the silk he produces and turn it into thread and from thread into fabric. The fabric moves and feels like high quality silk but is about twice as durable as Kevlar due to how strong his threads are.
The only reason all of the Bats aren't already decked out in full Tim Silk Gear is because of the sheer amount of time and energy it takes to make that much thread. If he uses all of his spare time to make thread and turn it into fabric as quickly as he can, he would only make 2 or 3 fabric napkins in a month. If he was only eating, sleeping, and making silk he could produce a single sheet about the size of a picnic blanket in the same amount of time. Not exactly a lot of fabric to work with. Plus there's the fact that his thread is very weak by the standards of his species due to a mixture of malnutrition, constant exhaustion, and frequent injuries.
However, most of his family does have at least one thing that he made with his thread for them. They have no idea what kind of fabric it is that Tim brings them things made of and when asked if he can get more, he simply shakes his head and says, "I wish I could, but farming to much of the material needed to make this stuff can seriously harm the type of creature that creates it. I'm keeping it vague so that you guys don't try to buy it yourselves. The person I get this from have been very, *very* heavily researched to make sure that it's done in a humane way. Basically anywhere else you find this stuff is almost garenteed to be horribly mistreating the creatures to force them to produce as much as physically possible. And I got my guys entire stock just to make this for you." This throughly covers his tracks and makes it so that the Bats won't consider trying to buy more silk from other sources. Most of the things he makes for them are small, like gloves or Domino Masks or at most an under shirt to give them an extra layer or protection. Cass's whole cowl is made of Tim's Silk.
As for what kind of malnutrition Tim has, the Bats already knew about that, sort of. John saw Bruce's new gloves and after feeling them asked where the fuck he got that much Jorogomo Silk and why it's such Shit Quality. When Bruce asked for him to elaborate, Constantine ran his hands over the gloves a few times while muttering to himself before sighing, "Malnutrition. Their silk is a direct reflection of their health. Whoever made this, they have *not* been eating well. Probably only just enough to survive and with no... well, you'd probably be glad to hear that the one who made your gloves hasn't been chowing down on an human flesh. But it's an important part of their diet. Yeah, this one seems to have been trying to use supplements for the shit it needs, but that'll never truly work. Like you can take all the vitamins tablets ya want, but unless you go out and soak in some sunshine every now and then you'll always be deficient in Vitamin D cause your body just won't process it. If I were you, I would get in contact with your seller and get them a deal with the local mourge. After all, you're from Gothem. I'm sure no one would notice if a few of the already dead disappeared."
That night Bruce had an uncomfortable conversation with Tim about how his seller might not be as good as he thought and what Mourges tended to "loose" bodies most often. Tim did start eating some from the already dead but he hates it. Not because hes eating people but because they've been dead for a while and only fresh bodies taste good.
As for Jack, he goes into a coma until Tim gets there and he uses some of his threads to make Jack his puppet. However, Tim doesn't have any practice with preserving the bodies of his puppets yet so after about a month, Jack is starting to fall apart a little so Tim sets up for him to be part of a car crash and makes a new puppet to be Uncle Eddie. The second puppet does last longer, but only about 2 and a half months and then Tim eats what's left of Uncle Eddie. Maybe one day he'll be able to make puppets that last for years like his mom did, but not just yet.
Also she isn't dead and does stay in contact. She just got bored of her life as Janet Drake and ditched her puppet, telling Tim "here's my new number and new name and the puppet of your father. Good luck kiddo." And Tim was like "YOURE THE BEST MOM" because really, by their standards she is. Most of his species are completely abandoned once they can walk, hide themselves, and produce silk. Most don't have any idea who their parent or parents are at all.
Ooh! The way you made his silk OP but then put in a very realistic limitation was cool as hell.
I'm also curious how the Bats would feel about Tim needing to consume human flesh. If Red Hood is still killing, it would he super cool of him to offer up some of the people he murders. Hopefully that will be a bit fresher and better tasting for Tim.
Also, would Alfred try to cook food for Tim's diet? Or would that be too much for Alfred to handle so he refuses to cook human flesh?
If Tim or someone else cooked that food (post-reveal), they probably would have to build an entire kitchen just for him. They wouldn't want to cross contaminate that since it could make the humans really really sick.
You mentioned that Tim doesn't hate consuming flesh. Does he have any reservations about it? Are there parts of his being that he hates for not being human enough?
At least Bruce doesn't seem to mind a creature consuming already dead people. Though, maybe Tim (pre-reveal) worries Bruce would mind if it was someone he knew.
I'm also hella curious where puppet Uncle Eddie comes from. Dead body? Bad guy Tim doesn't mind turning into a puppet?
Love Janet Drake. Maybe Tim could go visit her every once in a blue moon. If not, at least both of them seem happy and content with their relationship
#dc comics#tim drake#dc universe#thank you for the ask!!!!#dc au#spider tim#jason todd#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth
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HIII I LOVE YOUR FICS!!!!
Now I saw the "kiss" between Dom and Liv, so I was wondering if you could make a fic between a subby bratty dom and a dom reader where the reader is watching backstage and gets really jealous, so when he comes back, she ignores him for a while, but then when they get home, she punishes him and there's like A LOT of smut!!!!! ����😽
like SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT!!!!!
"Thank you Emma" we all say in unison
Buried by Eyes
AN: we are gonna pretend he isn’t injured for the sake of the fic, also just know guys I love writing but it's just hard to do. I have two jobs so I'm trying to find time, but I can write the part two for this. its 1am
Jealously was one word for it, another 3 words for it was heartbreak, anger, and determination. Your patience was wearing thin every passing day your fiance spent being a good person. His sweet tendencies were one of the main reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. Dominik has actively been trying to make sure that Rhea didn’t have to face Liv for the title; something you see as kind. But also the more he worked toward it the more jealous you became to be. Why would YOUR fiance be working so hard for a mere friend? Though tonight was a completely different story, for 5 minutes after the kiss you racked your brain for reasons. It continuously played in your head over and over like a never-ending record; he didn’t seem to enjoy it but he didn’t push her away. He grimaced and wiped his mouth… minutes afterward. Would she linger on his lips when you kissed him?
Dominik on the other hand was flipping out; he really didn’t know what to do or what to think when he came face to face with you in 60-something seconds. Dominik’s hands were twitching and he was continuously shaking his head after every fearful thought. Therefore when he turned the corner, he cussed instantly at your disgusted face and crossed arms. You had still been staring at the small screen in the hall, that was now playing something entirely different; Dom could only hope they wouldn’t replay the kiss over again.
Dominik huffed out an anxious breath and shook out the tension in his hands. He knew the only thing he could do at this moment was to man up and apologize INSTANTLY. Even that wasn’t going to be enough; Dominik would be stupid to think otherwise. Surprisingly enough your head didn’t turn at the sound of him walking towards you; or even when he was right in front of you. Your eyes bored into Dominik’s and you didn’t say a word; your face was hard to describe. You looked angry, but it also seemed like you were blank-faced and weren’t really registering that it was your fiance in front of you. Dominik cleared his throat and looked down at you, “Baby-“. Your eyes flashed with a ripple of anger, and it seemed like you finally grasped who it was in front of you.
You said nothing; Dominik literally gulped and his hands went right back to fidgeting. He shook his head and tried again, “Baby, I know what you’re thinking right now-“, he cut himself off again at your look. This time you smiled and nodded; that’s when Dominik realized how bad this really was. Before he thought maybe it wouldn’t have rattled you much; but the sarcastic and sinister smile deterred his thoughts elsewhere. You take a step back away from him, Dominik surely felt his heart crack. “Tell me, what am I thinking right now Dominik?”, you had used his real name and you looked so furious; Dom was almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Yet he was smart enough to know answering that question was a trap.
Dominik was at a loss for what to do; he could only think of one thing that could possibly humiliate him for the rest of his career. Of course, you were more important; Dominik sunk to his knees in front of you and grabbed your hands to hold in his. “I fucking hated that and I didn’t have time to react, I need you to believe me”. You nod and look into his eyes; searching for lies when really they were drowning in truth. “I believe you”, would be the only thing you say until you get home… 35 minutes later.
Dominik apologized nonstop on the way home and through the door, so much to you've grown tired of the words being uttered from his lips. You of course felt many confounding feelings, which brought a horrible tension between you and Dominik. You didn't want to be mad at him, considering he was unexpecting and didn't kiss her back. Though you were only human, and the anger pricked at you with every thought. Dominik opened the door for you; only to follow you like a sad puppy everywhere you walked. One smart idea graced your mind when you walked into the house...you had stormed into the bathroom and grabbed a rag out of the closet. You pulled Dominik inside by the collar of his shirt and you slammed the rag into his hands. "Scrub them", you demanded and crossed your arms over your chest.
Dominik was astonished, so much so that he gaped at you like a fish. "What?", he asked and looked down at the rag in confusion. You titled your head at his question, "Did I stutter? I said scrub your lips Dominik, or you'll never kiss mine again". Dominik understood you that time, he never moved so quickly in his life to wet the rag and scrub his lips clean; nearly raw. After a bit of time, Dominik put the rag and looked down at you, his lips were red and swollen from how harshly he was working towards getting rid of any traces of what happened. Really it was for him and you; Dom was disgusted by Liv, to say the least. He truly didn't want to be around her EVER again if he could help it. Therefore after scrubbing his lips, Dominik waited for your approval.
You stood and looked at him with a long silence; you debated the next course of action. Part of you knew Dom honestly did no wrong, but fuck LIv and fuck Dominik for being around her in the first place. No really fuck Dominik. You had taken a step towards him, you grabbed him by the chin and made him lean down closer so you could inspect him. Your thumb traced over his raw lips; trying to decide how pleased you were. "You have two options", Dominik's breath hitched, "come to bed or sleep on the couch".
---------------------------------------------------
"m' sorry baby, please please let me cum', Dominik lifted off the bed to slide his cock up against your hand, "I've been good"
"Have you? Cause what I seen earlier was far from it"
Dominik yanked on the restraints with pent-up frustration; if he kept that up surely he would break free, "I didn't ask for that shit" he gritted. Your eyebrows flew up in surprise and your mouth fell into shock, you stopped touching him completely. You saw his eyes starting to water but you were still ridden with what happened on live TV, therefore you didn't humor him. "Now you're cussing at me, should I have you wash your mouth out instead this time?", you commented.
Dominik panted harshly; seemingly whimpering and groaning at the same time, "No no baby I swear, I'm sorry I won't do it again- fuck just- touch me. Touch me I'm begging you, I've been waiting so long mami". Dominik withered in need, and the more time he spent under your feather-light touches; the more he realized how much he detested punishments. You dragged them out, each touch made his body feel as if it was bursting into flames and his heart rate picked up when you fluttered your lashes at him; no wonder he is starting to hyperventilate with the idea of cumming. You trailed your fingertips down the side of Dominik's jaw and cheek and down his chest, loving the way he tossed his head back harshly against the pillow with a groan; in a desperate needy manner that only you could see.
You finally started to stroke Dominik's leaking cock, tears began to pool in his eyes and slide down his cheek. You'd be worried for him if it wasn't so abundantly clear the tears were from relief, not sadness. Dominik was in his own hazy world of pleasure, already feeling the being of a crushing orgasm-- it was so intense to the point he was mumbling without reason. "that's it, just a little more sweet girl", he begged you when he wasn't in the position to be telling you anything. Next, he will be tirelessly eating you out, longer than he can stand.
#dominik mysterio x reader smut#dominik mysterio smut#dominik mysterio fluff#dom dom#dominik mysterio fanfiction#dominik mysterio x reader#dominik my bbg#dominik mysterio#dominik mysterio x you#wwe#dominik smut#dom smut#dominik
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can you send some Matt cuddles my way, I have the dentist today and I have to go on my own😭(I hate the dentist)😭
cuddling matt hcs
a/n: only reason its hcs is bc I didnt know what else to do
a/n 2: also the only reason this isnt posted on tuesday is bc I want to help a girl out fr
~
♡︎ matt always wants to be touching you, whether that be hand holding, knee toughing, a gentle hand on a thigh—he doesnt care how, he just wants to touch you.
♡︎ when matt cant touch you, he either throws a fit, or very clearly makes it known that hes not happy.
“dont fucking touch me.” he snaps at nick, shaking his shoulder to move nicks hand off him, you, nick and chris stare wide-eyed, before chris looks at you, deadpanning, “why arent you letting him touch you?” chris rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed with his brothers antics, before he realizes how dirty his sentence could be. “hold on thats not what I meant.”
♡︎ as much as he claims he hates PDA, he always acts all lovey dovey with you, his hands on your waist, in your hair or sitting beside you with his hand on your thigh—he wont go as far as having you sit on his lap though.
♡︎ once you guys are home though, you best believe he has you in his room, ready to cuddle, or sat on the couch waiting for you to lay in his arms.
“yay! we’re home!” he grins, before stopping and looking you in the eyes, “can we go upstairs and cuddle now, please?”
♡︎ matt absolutely adores cuddling, claiming its his favorite thing ever, wrapping his arms around your torso and shoving his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent as a content sigh slips from his lips.
♡︎ when he’s in a bad mood, or didnt have a good day, he’ll insist you lay on the bed so he can lay ontop of you, his face in your neck and arms around your torso, claiming he’ll feel much better after.
♡︎ he doesnt care which position you guys are laying in, he always finds a way to stick his face in the crook of your neck or just in your neck, its his favorite spot, remindig you everytime you guys cuddle.
“I love your neck.” he mumbles, closing his eyes with trying to let sleep take over.
“I know matt, you said that last time, and every other time.” you giggle, rubbing his back comfortingly.
♡︎ matt absolutely insists on going home after a long day and just cuddling for the rest of the day, claiming he’s too burnt out to get up.
“‘m sorry pretty, I’d get up if I wasnt so exhausted.” he murmurs into your neck, his eyes drooping closed as he drifts off to sleep.
@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @starsturni @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @wh0resstuff @mattsmad @sturn-bugz @e1ias3 @sunsetsturniolos @strniolo @sturnssmuts @simply-a-simper @stunza
@meerkatzthings @joemamaaa42069
@matthewscorner @norr1ssturni0lo
@maryx2xx @mattsmad @dollyspsychoxo @mels22lunchbox @riasturns @chrissturniolosworld @ariqolyx @dollyspsychoxo
@aliceloveschris @starsturni
#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets#matt x reader#matt girl#matt sturniolo blurb#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo headcannons#requests#inbox 🎀🎀
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Hey pretty do you still take requests? If you do please write something about Lewis Hamilton x Fem Reader and their relationship is like that one video of rihanna and asap where rhi is looking lusty at asap. Lmao I'm bad at explaining I'm sorry, anything will do tbh i trust you. 🥰
Those sinful eyes - Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Reader
ᝰ.ᐟ A/N: Oh i just know what you mean lol. All the requests in my account got deleted and this is recent so if you are one of those peeps who sent me a requests back then you are free to send it again, I'm very sorry for the long take. 💋
ᯓ★ One of the things you can use against lewis is your eyes. They have a big impact on him it can be staring up at him or staring down at him.
"Don't move so much babe, I'm trying to do your hair." You giggled as you place your feet behind your ass resting it on his knees to comfortably sit on his lap while he wiggled like a child, "I'm sorry missus." as his eyes traveled from your lips to your eyes.
"fuck.." he muttered looking at you breathlessly, "What you have a staring problem now?" you joked as your fingers made their way into his curls before carefully tugging a piece as you continued your work with braiding his hair since the fronts are the only thing that was left untouched.
"You are so beautiful and beautiful and beautiful." Lewis blabbed looking back at your left to right eyes as if he is watching a tug rope competition fighting over which side is he gonna look at with how close you are.
The biggest hate love he has on the way he folds quickly just by the eye contact. The intimate eye contact and smile does something to him that will make him want to go on convulsion.
George once pointed it out on him which became a whole joke on the grid.
"The family guy is here again." Max said as lewis approach the drivers who just sat down and talk after the practice race, "What do you mean, we don't have a kid yet?" lewis cluelessly said as he sat down between all of them.
"With how whipped you look at her oh you will be soon" George marked spreading his arms on the back of the chair to welcome lewis more to share a detail about both of yours relationship. "Have you seen how his girl look at her? If she looked at me that way i would even faint, lewis is just a humble guy." Lando pointed out to side lewis and to give him a concrete reason on why lewis acted like that when you look at him.
"I mean have you seen lewis? I would look at him that way too" max stated before sipping his redbull.
ᯓ★ Get dressed, get your nails done, buy all your make up, own him up.
Another weakness of his is seeing you all ready and pretty for somewhere you guys are going for a date or whenever you go to the paddock.
"Hey guys i wasn't informed we are all meeting in here." Lewis entered as the laughter and talking went down to silence, "What's that on your face?" Lando was the first one to speak up which broke the silence.
"What what??" Lewis asked as he rose his phone up using it as a mirror to look at himself
"That kiss mark.."
"Oh it's from my missus." Lewis answered confidently before sitting down as a big smile still plastered on his face like a kid who's proud of his medal, "Yeah of course.." George bitterly said rolling his eyes and smacking his lips.
"Wow the missus really wifed you up."
That's one of his title that he is very proud of, hell have you guys checked on lewis when both of you first talked? He is very proud of it bragging it to everyone as if he won the most luckiest man alive. What worse when you said yes to his proposal of being your boyfriend who will definitely be your husband soon.
One of his dream is making a family with you, finally hearing his surname beside your name.
"Hello Mrs. Hamilton you look beautiful in that dress." Lewis addressed walking at your back feeling his palms on your back like he is sculpturing like those statues in museum, "Thank you Mr. Hamilton, you look handsome as ever.." You complimented back placing your hand on his face caressing his jaw and cheeks, holding up an eye contact on him with pure admiration.
"Of course i do, you are the one who picked my outfit" he commented and yes he lets you pick on what he wears. There are times where both of you wear a matchy outfit or just a same color shirt just so people can't tell you both apart. "Did you like it?"
"Oh i love it Mrs. Hamilton, look how good we look besides each other" He kept the nickname before looking at both of you in the mirror holding your waist like the mirror will take a picture any time moment. "I think something is missing hmm.." he said looking at you.
"What do you mean, you look really good." You muttered looking back at him, "My kiss.." he pouted as you smack his chest feeling a sigh of relief. "Darling you scared me" you giggled before grabbing his face with one hand and placing a kiss on his cheek.
Looking at the pigment that rests on his face is like looking at the painting of work from the history. The memories and moments of how many times you have did this, it's like reminding everyone that you own him, The seventh time world champion who makes everyone know that he can't function without feeling the affection you give to him by the daily basis.
"How i love looking at that on my face everyday, God knows you will walk down the aisle as a scene and confirmation to everyone that i am gifted with a gorgeous wife like you."
#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x fem!reader#formula one#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader
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Uhhh something something with Akatsuki guys breeding their (adult) lil sister :) Bonus for Konan to also breed her lil sister :,)
tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, babytrapping, possessiveness
All characters depicted are 18+
Deidara has never given much thought to having children, he's still pretty young, not to mention that kids are just annoying little brats that will distract him from his art, so he doesn't want any at first, but when he catches his younger sister spending time with other guys, Deidara gives the idea of children much more consideration.
His sister isn't much younger than him. Deidara is nineteen and his baby sis is only a year younger then he is, but the blonde artist doesn't care, she's his sister and she shouldn't be devoting himself to any man but him.
Not only does Deidara want to mark her as his property for possessive reasons, but he would be lying if the thought of breaking his sister's virginity and filling her up until she's thoroughly bred with his baby turns him on like nothing else.
Even if his sister refuses, Deidara will push the issue, practically nagging her into letting him impregnate her, despite the fact that he's being too pushy and they're closely related to each other by blood. Deidara really wants to make sure other guys know to stay away, and this is the most effective way to do it.
"C'mon dummy don't be like that! You love kids, yeah?! So you should be thanking me for being a good big brother and giving you one!"
Deidara is a virgin and an inexperienced one at that, all of his sexual knowledge comes from trashy porno magazines, so he has little to no clue what he's doing when he thrusts into his sister's cunt, too lost in how good it feels to coordinate his thrusts properly.
He also doesn't know much about impregnation and the subsequent pregnancy, but what he does know is that he has to cum inside of her a whole bunch so he can properly knock her to up and keep her all to himself.
Deidara might be inexperienced, but he isn't a complete idiot. He knows that his sister has been on the pill, but he planned ahead, taking her pills and throwing them out when she isn't looking, since he doesn't want any stupid pills getting in his way.
Once he's finally done he'll keep his cock in her for a while, telling her how she better not let a single drop spill out of her, or else he'll just have to breed her all over again.
"Oh yeah, that felt great~ Now you better be a good mommy and behave yourself, or else. I'll just fill you up again, un!"
If she somehow doesn't get pregnant from that encounter, Deidara doesn't sweat it. He's already become addicted to his sister's perfect little pussy, so he's gonna be breeding it everyday anyway.
tw: incest, sibling incest, noncon, breeding, age difference, puppet fucking, drugging, plugs
Sasori hates children. They're needy, loud, annoying, and just all around obnoxious. Sasori never thought he'd want to impregnate someone, especially his own sister, but curiosity gets the better of him, he wants to know if he can get her pregnant even as a puppet.
He rarely ever gives his sister much thought, she just exists to him, and he's only using her because she's the closest woman to him. But when Sasori actually bothers to be around her, he can't help but notice how cute she is, even if she is a brat by his standards.
Sasori won't go into things completely unprepared, he knows how to prepare for things ahead of time. He'll use some of his special poisons to increase her fertility and libido, slipping it into her food and drink when she isn't paying attention, although it is suspicious that her usually cold brother is cooking for her out of nowhere.
Once he's certain that his drugs worked on her, Sasori will take advantage of her, laying her down and getting on top of her. She's obviously confused, but Sasori will explain what he's doing to her in his usual deadpan and blunt way.
"What am I doing..? I'm putting a baby in you. Isn't it obvious? Or are you so stupid that you don't know where babies come from..?"
Sex with Sasori is rather uncomfortable for her. His body is a puppet, so it's wooden, and his cock feels more like a dildo than an actual organic penis, but for Sasori it feels completely normal and pleasurable, although it's hard to tell he's feeling good, since he rarely makes noise and never blinks.
Sasori is still emotionless even during such an intimate moment, he'll simply thrust into his sister's sloppy cunt, only really talking to tell her to stop being so loud with all her annoying crying and pleas to stop.
The absolute loudest he'll be is when he groans as he finishes inside of her. Sasori won't show it on his face or with his words, but he really enjoyed it, even if his sister clearly didn't enjoy it at all as evidenced by her tears.
After he pulls out, Sasori will be stern and make sure that she knows her place, letting her know that she better have his children, despite the fact that he has a very open dislike of kids that he doesn't even bother to hide from her.
"This better work... and if it does, I want nothing to do with whatever annoying children you push out... that's your problem now, little sister."
When he's done, he'll shove a plug into her filled up hole, not wanting her to waste a single drop of his essence, and Sasori will make it very clear that he won't tolerate her removing the plug until he says so.
tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, praise, infantilization, choking, cheating
Itachi is an Uchiha, so he has a natural inclination to reproduce, and he's also an older brother, so if he ever has the urge to breed, he can always go to his sweet little sister.
While Itachi could knock up Izumi instead of his own little sister, and his girlfriend would be more than willing to have his babies, Itachi just thinks his baby sister is so much more adorable and sweet, not to mention more tight and fertile.
He isn't a brute, he isn't going to throw his sister down and force himself onto her like a common thug, that would be mean, so instead he'll manipulate her into coming to his bedroom, and of course she does. She has no reason to doubt her sweet older brother's good intentions.
Itachi still sees his little sister as his baby, despite her being much too old to be considered that, so he'll be overly soothing and gentle when he eases his fat cock into her, not stopping until he's balls deep inside of her fertile cunt, cooing praises into her ear as he pounds her.
"Shhh... There there, baby. You're doing such a good job. Now keep taking it like a good girl, you're making Nii Nii so proud of you..."
He's almost too gentle when he's breeding her, treating her like a porcelain doll that can shatter with even the most slight of pressure, he also doesn't want to risk being too rough when he's trying to impregnate her, not wanting to damage the cute little womb that he's going to fill up with new Uchihas. However, he will choke her slightly, his slender hand squeezing her neck as he gets close.
Itachi is almost a completely different person when he's inside his sister. He's usually a doting yet distant older brother, but he becomes almost clingy when he's fucking her, his heavier body pressed flush against hers and his hands constantly gripping her body as he pounds into her, whispering praises into her ear.
He's nothing if not thorough, he wants to be completely certain that he's bred her well and proper, so he won't stop even after cumming inside of her countless times. She obviously grows tired and overwhelmed from the prolonged breeding session, but he's too focused on claiming her sweet pussy to stop.
When he is finally done filling her to the brim, he'll kindly manipulate incentivize her into keeping this as their little secret, offering to spend more time with her and train her despite his busy mission schedule.
"Good girl, you made me feel so good... Now, if you promise to be good and not tell anyone about this, I'll help you with your shuriken jutsu later, doesn't that sound nice?"
He'll never call himself a pervert, but he doesn't exactly hide how much it turns him on to see his sister cutely limp around the house afterwards, her big brother's seed stuffed inside her womb, unbeknownst to the rest of the family.
tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, monster cocks, double penetration, age difference, size difference, biting, victim blaming
Kisame has always been a more hands off elder brother. His sister didn't inherit the shark like features that he has, so it's almost impossible to believe that such a sweet and cute looking girl is so closely related to the Monster of The Mist, and Kissme himself isn't immune to her cuteness.
Kisame is a bit strange when it comes to his sex drive, on some days sex is the last thing on his mind, but on other days he's practically a feral animal in heat that needs a wet hole to breed, and his poor sister just so happens to catch him on one of those days.
He's a big guy, so he can easily just hold her down and use her like a little fleshlight, and that's exactly what she does, as soon as he gets his hands on her he's pinning her down on the nearest surface and stuffing her full of his dual cocks.
While Kisame technically doesn't need to use both of his cocks in order to breed, he wants to, and his poor sister's pussy will have to suffer for it as she's filled up with both of her brother's huge cocks.
"Fuck!! Keep squeezing my cocks like that, bitch. Your big bro wants to fill ya up real good, so no more bitchin' and whinin'~"
Even if he wasn't trying to be rough, his thrusts are still brutal, his large thighs pressed against her smaller ones as he shoves himself into her over and over again, his deadly teeth biting down on any bit of her skin that they can reach.
Due to his menacing appearance and even more monstrous reputation, Kisame doesn't get laid very often, so he is very pent up, his huge and heavy balls slapping against her clit as he fills her up with his thick cocks, shooting his pent up load into her countless times.
He has very high stamina, so the shark-like man is able to go at it for hours on end, never having to take breaks even when she's hardly conscious underneath him and begging him to stop.
Once he is finally done with her, most likely having fucked her from dusk until dawn, he'll be somewhat apologetic, although will ultimately blame her for his actions. She knows how Kisame gets sometimes, so she should have been a good girl and known better.
"Ahh~ Sorry about that, babygirl, guess I got a bit carried away... Maybe don't go actin' all cute around me next time..."
Kisame isn't trying to knock her up because he wants kids, he's too busy slicing his enemies to ribbons for something like that, he just can't control his feral urges when he's around he sweet little cunt.
tw: incest, sibling incest, noncon, breeding, sadism, abuse, degradation, blood kink, ritual sex, threats, bondage
Unlike some others, Hidan doesn't want to knock his sister up because of a deep possessiveness or need for control, Hidan just wants to breed her because the sadist thinks it would be absolutely hilarious to see his sister all knocked up.
He isn't a nice big brother at all, Hidan is always picking on his sister and making her feel dirty about herself, so his little sister will try to avoid being alone with him at all costs, but Hidan gets her alone eventually...
He'll drag his sister into his room under the guise of a ritual for his beloved Lord Jashin, he'll even threaten her into accepting the "ritual" telling her that she either gets to participate in a breeding ritual or a blood ritual with him, so she has little choice in the matter.
He's quick to tie her down on his bed, making sure she can't move when he has his way with her. Hidan doesn't gag her however, since no one else lives with them and their pictures are out of the picture, she can scream and cry in pain as loud as she wants, it's music to his ears.
"Cmon, just take it you dumb little hoe! You're always dressed like a slut anyway, so just take my cum and get knocked up already!"
Hidan is brutally rough with her, almost to the point of drawing blood, and if she does end up bleeding from his treatment, then that's even better, since blood turns Hidan on like nothing else.
While not inexperienced, Hidan doesn't know how to be gentle during sex, nor does he care to learn, so his cock will roughly bully it's way into her tight pussy while Hidan pounds into her and breeds her with all the carefulness and grace of a rabid dog in heat, even drooling like one during the act.
Hidan never shuts up when he's fucking her, he always has to be making some sort of noise, whether it be degrading her, openly fantasizing about her pregnant body, or just loudly grunting and moaning like a pornstar while he's fucking her.
He has quite a bit of stamina, so he can stuff her full of cum all night long. When he's finished cramming her womb full of his seed, he'll make sure she knows her place and what she's supposed to do now.
"Phew! That felt great, slut! Now you better raise this stupid little brat to follow the ways of Lord Jashin, got it, little sis?"
Hidan doesn't care to be a parent or an uncle to the kid, in fact if his sister doesn't behave herself from now on, the brat might just be his next sacrifice.
tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, age difference, abuse, tentacles, bondage
Despite his very old age, Kakuzu does have a younger sibling who is, while an adult, is also significantly younger than him. Kakuzu doesn't really get along with his sister very much due to their age difference, not to mention how expensive it is to keep her housed and fed.
He can't stand having a girl around his home "mooching" off of him and being a little freeloader. Kakuzu values his money more than anything, including her, so he figures that it's finally time to make her earn her keep and get some responsibility.
Kakuzu is a very big and muscular man, so he can easily manhandle and drag her away to whatever room is closest so he can breed her fertile womb. Her struggles are hardly felt by him, his skin and pain tolerance hardened by decades of battle.
He'll use the threads in his body to stretch out her pussy and prepare her for his cock. The process is incredibly invasive and uncomfortable, especially with her struggling underneath him, but Kakuzu will just scold her for attempting to fight back against him.
"Shut up you little brat. I'm just stretching out your little cunt for me, it wouldn't hurt so much if you weren't so damn tight..."
Once she's properly stretched out to his liking, Kakuzu will use his black threads to restrain her, wrapping around her limbs and keeping her legs spread apart and open to Kakuzu's greedy eyes. The immortal man wastes no time, shoving his cock inside of her without any warning or permission.
Kakuzu is almost as experience in sex as he is in battle, he's nearly a century old so he's had quite a few partners, some more willing than others. Kakuzu isn't experienced in lovemaking however, just in fucking and getting his rocks off.
He isn't very talkative, occasionally groaning and telling her to shut up at the very most. While Kakuzu doesn't want kids, there is a primal part of him that wants to stuff her full of cum and make her his, his thrusts will speed up ever so slightly when these thoughts cross his mind.
While his stamina isn't bad, he won't fuck her for too long, having more important things to do, but he'll still empty a lot of cum inside of her, not even bothering to use any protection. He is rather old anyway, so he probably doesn't have to worry about her getting impregnated from his seed.
"You better not go having any children now, you little idiot. I already have one brat to deal with, the last thing I need is another..."
If she does end up having his child, Kakuzu won't be very happy about it, only tolerating the kid if it somehow benefits him financially, or just keeps his little sister out of his hair and wallet.
tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, God complex, praise, mating press
Pain is an incredibly busy man, being the leader of an organization full of eccentric and dangerous individuals, so he's more focused on that family of his instead of his actual one, which comprises of only his younger sister, whom Pain deeply cherishes despite his cold demeanor.
While not a very remorseful individual most of the time, Pain can't help but feel somewhat bad for neglecting his dear sister, so he decides to give her some very special attention when he finally makes time for her.
Pain starts off rather slow, putting an arm around her shoulder in an affectionate gesture before escalating, holding her against his body, which is as cold as a corpse and rigid due to the rods in his body, the proximity quickly makes her very uncomfortable.
Pain can tell she is uncomfortable but doesn't let that deter him very much at all. He wants to make up for lost time, and he won't let her shyness get in the way of that goal.
"Hush now, little one. You should be feeling very grateful right now, not everybody is lucky enough to bear the child of a God."
He'll fuck her on his bed so that his cold body doesn't cause her too much discomfort during the breeding. While he doesn't go out of his way to be rough, he doesn't make much effort to be gentle either, the end goal is to cum inside of her, not to provide pleasure.
Pain is an incredibly imposing figure, even when he doesn't mean to be. His Rinnegan is staring into her very soul as he thrusts into her, the purple circular pattern showing his overwhelming power over her and almost every other human in the world.
Pain is strong physically as well, not just with his eyes but with his body as well, holding his sister down in the mating press while he pounds into her cunt, making sure none of his precious seed spills out of her.
He cums quite a bit, being rather pent up due to his lack of partners and sexual release, so she'll almost certainly be thoroughly knocked up by the time Pain is done with her, he'll even spare her a few kind wonders afterwards.
"Good girl, you did well. Now you'll have someone too keep your company while your elder brother is too busy. Aren't I so benevolent?"
Pain won't be a very attentive parent, he's already too concerned with running his organization and planning their world domination, but he won't be cruel either, occasionally making time for his little wife sister and their offspring.
tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, futanari/dickgirl, age difference, manipulation, slight misandry
Konan is a very gentle older sister, helping her dear younger sister with whatever she needs. But Konan is only human, and even she has some urges that are very far from gentle or angelic.
Konan is a very unique woman, she has both a cock and a pair of beautiful breasts, so she can satisfy her sisters emotional needs for a womanly presence, and her physical needs for a male one. But of course her innocent little sister isn't very aware of her elder sister's secret part just yet.
When Konan can't resist the urge to have her dearest sister any longer, she is easily able to manipulate the situation to get her sister alone. The younger sibling adores her older sister, so she'll think nothing of Konan getting rather touchy feely at first.
Even if she does notice Konan getting too close to comfort, Konan can easily talk her way into things, telling her sister how good and normal these sorts of interactions between family members apparently are.
"Shhh, there's nothing strange about this, my little angel. We're both girls after all, so we're allowed to be close like this..."
Konan is almost too gentle, being slow when she pushes her cock inside of her sister, making the younger woman feel every single inch as it slides into her virgin pussy, the feeling is both pleasurable and torturous at once.
Konan's cock is rather big despite her lithe frame, so she's easily able to hit her sister's womb with each thrust, her thick meat stretching her out and filling her fertile depths to the brim with her cum.
She would never wittingly harm her dearest sister, but even a woman as angelic and composed as Konan can't help but get lost in the heat of the moment when she's so deep inside her most cherished treasure, her thrusts speeding up when she's getting especially close to cumming again.
Konan won't stop until she is certain that her sister has been impregnated, then she'll finally be able to keep her sister to herself completely, and without having to worry about any undesirable men getting their perverted hands on her innocent baby sister.
"That's my good little girl... Now we can make a new family together, just the two of us. There's no need for any mean, scary men when you have me..."
Once she's impregnated her little sister, Konan won't let the girl out of her sight for even a minute, keeping a close eye on her little angel and the growing bundle of joy growing in her womb.
#naruto#naruto shippuden#boruto#naruto smut#naruto x reader#akatsuki#akatsuki smut#akatsuki x reader#tw.incest#deidara#deidara x reader#deidara smut#sasori#sasori x reader#sasori smut#itachi#itachi x reader#itachi smut#kisame#kisame x reader#kisame smut#hidan#hidan x reader#hidan smut#kakuzu#kakuzu x reader#kakuzu smut#pain naruto#pain x reader#konan
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boarding school jj bullying pope into touching tips mhm 🙂↕️🙂↕️
*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊
pope hated gym. not because he wasn't athletic--he did okay enough--but because of jj.
it was like he was always lurking around the corner trying to find a reason to corner him. it looked like he was in the clear, today was dodgeball day and there's nothing jj loved more than pummeling freshman on the court.
or that's what pope thought, until he heard a familiar whistle rounding the corner.
"i hope you aint think you were gettin off that easy heyward." it took nothing for jj to crowd him against the locker, poking pope in the neck and ear to annoy him.
"i was just hoping to have some peace is that so fucking bad." jj slams the locker shut, causing pope to flinch and allow jj to get impossibly close.
"nah, not around here. me and you have a little deal and im cashin in."
pope knew it was better not to fight, letting jj shove his tongue down his throat as the two began to rut against each other--pope unconsciously and jj very much on purpose--and the blonde begins to shove his hand down the front of pope's underwear.
"wait, shit jj i didn't wanna do all that."
jj scoffs, "like you have a fuckin choice, unless you want me to walk out there and let everyone know you take it up the ass."
the darks kind boy looks at him in bewilderment, clearly blown away by his response, "you're fucking dumber than i thought, jj you fuck everybody you think they don't know?"
"you know what- shut the fuck up and take em off."
both of their shorts hit the floor, and jj grabs pope by the base, angling him so their cocks are pressed tight against each other. the friction was maddening, even as they both got slicker with precum and they were panting in each other's mouths.
"fuckin, hurry up pope goddamn, i'm tryna get a couple rounds in out there."
pope bites him in retaliation, shifting his hips faster in efforts to get jj off faster and the sound of someone into the bathroom makes him pause, "we get caught that's our asses jj fuck." he clamps a hand over his mouth, pushing him back against the wall to muffle jj's moans, the slide of their cocks against each other making his legs almost buckle.
just as the toilet flushes jj grunts--spilling over his own knuckles and pope's dick and pope thanks god it muffled his voice.
jj's flushed and panting by the end, smirking as he looks at the cum covering his hand, "now that really took the edge off ay heyward?" he lightly smacks his face with his sticky hand, pulling his shorts up while pope disgustedly wipes off his face.
"yeah...whatever jj."
"aw cmon! don't be like that, you know you're my favorite." jj gives him a wet kiss on the cheek before he leaves and pope sighs.
that was the fucking problem.
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5 Fun Facts About the Prostate!
I finally finished it. I'm not going to beta read it bc this thing has been causing me so much pain lmao.
Zayne gets pegged. That's it. That's the fic. Enjoy. NSFW, MDNI
3.8k words
It's one of those few times when I have Zayne on my lap, instead of the other way around when I finally get the courage to ask about something I've been thinking about... For a while.
His hands are braced on the back of the couch on either side of me, and he's been tugged closer and closer while we kiss, thanks to my grip on his tie that I refuse to relinquish. Still, even though he's straddling me, Zayne doesn't drop his weight onto my lap, maybe being slightly afraid he'll crush me, or hinder the circulation in my legs or something.
I lick into his mouth, and he lets me (the same way he lets me do a lot of things. I'm starting to get the message.), and my other hand at his hip trails a dangerous path around to the frankly amazing curve of his ass, only accentuated by the tight slacks he's wearing, and I squeeze.
Zayne makes a small sound in the back of his throat, and jolts a little in my lap, but it doesn't seem like he's trying to get away as our foreheads press together and our hot breath mingles. "Zayne..." I say, and trace my finger down the seam of the back of his pants, drawing a line to where I can likely assume my prize would be, and he stiffens in my arms, brows furrowing slightly. I'm not sure if it's from confusion or discomfort, so I stop there, though I really want to push harder into the unyielding fabric.
"I really want to fuck you."
He blinks, and the flush already on his cheeks from our heavy makeout session darkens even further. From this angle, so close to him, I can physically see his pupils grow in size, blowing out the molten gold and green in his eyes.
"... You what?" His voice is still low, and rough, though surprised. And then, after another long moment of us looking into each others eyes, he seems to fully realize what exactly it is I'm asking, as I let go of his tie and grab his other cheek with that same hand, using my grip on the plush pillow of his ass to pull him downwards and finally, more fully onto my lap.
"You're serious." Zayne says, almost in disbelief, the chuckle present in the words themselves.
So... He definitely doesn't hate the idea.
--
But of course, because he's Zayne, he spends a few weeks doing research. Purely academic, he tells me, just so he knows what he's getting into and how to be prepared. Because he's Zayne, and he'll never deny me anything. Maybe he'll hate it, he doesn't know yet, but he will, always, without fail, indulge me at least once.
Another reason I'm starting to get suspicious is that when we are in bed, so far, he's really only made an effort to cater to my own needs, instead of his own. The sex is great, yes, and having a boyfriend who gets on his knees for me multiple times a week without ever once being asked too? Phenomenal.
And clearly, he loves eating me out, fingering me, judging by the way the act seems to wreck him almost as much as it wrecks me (the first time he did it, I'm almost certain he came in his pants, because afterwards he insisted he was fine, that he didn't need anything from me, and then made a hasty retreat to the bathroom. When he returned, he said it was because he wanted to clean me up).
I'm not an idiot. Zayne is a powerful man, who bears a lot of responsibility on his shoulders, and he considers me to be one of them, most of the time. At least in bed, well... Maybe he can let me take care of him instead. Because I want to. He is very good at following orders, after all(I've noticed on more than one occasion). And I have been wondering more and more often... Just how far this tendency of his goes.
--
"How do you want to do this? On your back, or all fours?" I tilt my head slightly at him, pulling away from a sloppy kiss that has his lips shining with our shared spit. Zayne's ears are pink. He opens his mouth, but seems to have no immediate answer. "Or do you want me to bend you over the bed? ... Or do you want me to pick?"
"You choose. You're the one who wants this so badly." He tries to keep up his bravado, but at my final suggestion, I feel him twitch beneath me, though he's still dressed from the waist down. I'm the one who's more naked right now, having lost my shirt and shorts some while ago, not long after he closed the door behind him. He barely had enough time to toe off his shoes and set his bag down before I was crowding him against the wall, determined to make sure tonight went a very certain way.
And now, with him shirtless, blushing, laying back in the bed and letting me touch him all over... I think I might get my way tonight. I just need to be careful... I don't want to scare him off of being this vulnerable for me.
"Well," I begin, my voice light and teasing as I let my lips turn their attention to his throat and chest, kissing his Adams apple and collarbone, deliberately taking my time down to his tiny, pink nipples, while my fingers work at his belt and pants, sliding down his legs and discarding them somewhere on the floor, "I mean if I could really choose... We'd be doing this in your office and I'd have you over the desk. And you'd still have your lab coat on."
Zayne scoffs, "That one may have to remain in your fantasies, I fear. I do have a reputation to uphold." But I feel his cock twitching again, twice this time, belying the fact that he finds that thought arousing as well, though he's doing his best to scold me, despite the position he's allowing himself to be forced into.
"Boo," I murmur, and bite his nipple softly. In return, I'm rewarded with one of his soft little whimpers, and he'd scowl at that too, if I said it to him. "On your back, then. I want to see your pretty face while I fuck you. Surely you understand the appeal?"
Zayne's eyes glimmer with mirth, and I get another sound of amusement from him, though he says nothing else, giving me his consent as I feel him fully relax beneath me, and the fingers he has tangled in my hair move down to my thigh, and then knee, urging it upwards so he can spread his legs for me while I suck bruises into his chest.
"Ready?" I ask, raising my head to meet his eyes, now dark with desire, half lidded, his bangs hanging almost entirely over one of them. He nods, and once I've managed to lube up my fingers, with the bottle prepared (in advance, of course) nearby, I raise one of his legs at the knee, bending it upwards as I reach down between them, bypassing his cock to slick up his entrance. Zayne jolts at the sensation, and I haven't even pushed in yet, only pressed against the pink pucker, spreading the wetness on my fingers around it.
"Have you tried anything on your own?" His cock, I notice, is already half hard against his stomach, pretty and pink and perfect.
"No... Other than... Well, I purchased an enema bulb, but that wasn't..." Zayne attempts to explain, and I begin a slow and gentle push into him with my index finger, and his brows furrow at the sensation. "Given how excited you were, I assumed you would..." He sucks in a breath, and his eyes close, "would want the pleasure."
"You're right." I confirm, and rub my other hand across his thigh, where I'm holding it, "Stop talking though. If we're ever going to get anywhere, you need to relax." Zayne is clearly tense, along almost every line of his body, and I try to distract him with gentle touches, along his hips and ribs. "Breathe, honey... Just breathe.... Relax." I murmur to him, and he makes a clear attempt to obey, though the breath he takes shudders on the way in and out.
"Relax..." I press a bit deeper, and feel his hole clench around my finger, trying to push me out, and so I stay right there until his walls ease up. I wipe the furrow from his brow, and he finally meets my gaze again, his expression clearly unsure.
"Remember, like I said, if you hate this, we never have to do it again." Finally, I get my finger all the way inside, and he's so tight around me just from this, I'm suddenly unsure how far we'll be able to get tonight.
"How does it feel?"
Zayne is clearly trying to relax his body, sinking further into the mattress, but his ass is not a muscle he's used to paying conscious attention to, and so he's clearly finding it difficult, though I do feel him start to relax more fully after some time, as I just wiggle a bit inside.
"Strange..." He begins, and then gasps as apparently, I twist and crook my finger in just the right spot, and his previously flagging erection grows just a bit, right before my eyes. He looks down at me with a mixture of surprise and curiosity, mouth open as I crook my finger again, and he grunts, his warm hole fluttering. "That was..." Zayne tries, seemingly conflicted by the sensation.
"Your prostate? I would assume, based on your reaction." I smile, nodding down towards his cock that has begun to fill out. "Does it feel good?"
"... I don't know. I do know it's a pleasure point in the male body."
"Zayne, you are not about to give me an anatomy lesson right now." I move my finger, pull it out, drizzle more lube over it, and then press back in, starting a slow rhythm, hopefully to help him get more used to the sensation. For my troubles, I get another little sound out of him, this one sounding more pleasured than confused.
"You don't--" He grunts again, turns a little pinker, and rolls his head on the pillow while I fuck him on my finger. His cock I am ignoring on purpose, knowing that would only distract him. "You don't think my lectures are sexy?"
"Everything about you is sexy. Would it help you relax if you did give me a lecture on all the functions of the prostate while I get your ass ready for my dick?"
The slide of my fingers in and out of him becomes easier as he lays back and groans, so with another drizzle of lube, gently, I try to press my middle finger in as well. It's tight again, but he's becoming looser.
"Yes--" he gasps, and I openly chuckle. In return I get a lazy half smile out of him.
"Go ahead then, honey. Tell me what's so special about..." I twist both of my fingers the way I had before, to make him jump, rubbing them there when his hips buck and he gives me a whine, brows pulling up as his mouth drops open. "This."
"Fuck." Zayne rarely swears, so that's how I know he's starting to lose it, and goddamn if that word from his lips doesn't get me wet in more than a few seconds. I let up though, focusing my attention on scissoring him, stretching him, fucking gently in and out. I don't want to overwhelm him, not yet.
"The prostate..." He begins, the tensing in his abdomen easing up a bit as my focus shifts away from that particular bundle of nerves. "Is located below the bladder, and in front of the rectum." His voice has gone breathy, tight, but funnily enough, it does seem to be helping the tight warmth of his pretty hole relax while I work patiently. "It's primary function is to aid in--" another small whine when I add more lube, "to aid in semen production, and to help push it through the urethra."
Hilariously enough, I do find myself actually listening, and bite my lip to avoid distracting him while I add my ring finger. At this point, his cock is now fully hard, which, honestly... I didn't expect.
"Go on." I encourage him, looking away from the sight of my fingers inside of him to see his neck bared, eyes closed as he almost arches into the pillow below his head. An adorable sight, he's panting, flushed from his ears to his chest, and yet his expression is one of almost complete focus.
"The urethra runs directly through the prostate. There are... Nnh... There are five lobes."
Lobes? Zayne... I bite my lip harder. With three fingers now, he's much looser, and it's both so cute and so hilarious that his focus on anatomy right now actually is helping him open up to my intrusions. I can feel it happening.
"There's the... Anterior--" The rest of whatever he’s about to try and explain about the lobes of the prostate is cut off as I move, leaning up and over him to capture his lips in a kiss. The heel of my palm rests over, and presses against his balls. Zayne makes a little muffled sound and then sighs. I can feel him melt into me and I smile.
“As much as I’d love to hear the rest of that lecture… You feel like you’re ready?” Our noses brush, and he looks up at me, his eyes dark and filled with emotions that I have trouble naming… Vulnerability, maybe? But something else too. His breath is hot against my cheek as he exhales.
“Yes. I think so.”
“Feels good?”
“More than I expected.”
When I slip my fingers out of him, he grunts a little, the sound so disappointed that I chuckle as I climb off of the warmth of his body, and reach back for the dresser at the foot of the bed, slipping my legs through the harness and tightening it as fast as I can manage.
“Good. Don’t move. I want you just like this.” I say as I crawl between his legs, one hand full of the silicone cock now attached to me, and the other with a bottle of lube that I drizzle generously over the entire length. Zayne pulls up his knees as I approach him, spreading his legs a little wider to accommodate me. For a moment, the sight has me frozen. His hole gapes now, stretched from my fingers, and I watch it flutter under my gaze.
Zayne is blushing, hooking his hands behind his thighs, and no doubt shy about the way he’s presenting himself like this to me. Heat rocks through me, and I know I’m slick between my thighs. “Fuck, Zayne.” I breathe, and his blush grows brighter right before my eyes.
“Yes, I believe that’s the idea.” He quips anyway, and we both share a smile, his lips quirking while I try to hold back a giggle.
While I still have his eyes on my face, I reach my hand down, beneath the leather of the harness I’m wearing, and collect my own wetness on my fingers. We both look down at the same time when I press them back into his pink hole, and I feel him clench down on me, his cock twitching several times, growing harder than it’s been all night in a matter of seconds.
“You…” He whines.
He’d never admit that’s what it was, but I become determined almost instantly to force him to make that sound again. I pour more lube over the space between his thighs, retracting my fingers to smooth some of it up and down his hard length and his balls, and then gather the excess in my cupped hand and push into him once more, only enough to ensure he’s good and wet for me before I settle more fully against him. I grip the silicone dildo in my hand, and press the blunt tip against him. It’s honestly not very big, or thick. I didn’t want to overwhelm him the first time we tried this… And it seems like that was the right choice, because there’s little resistance as the head pops inside.
I rock my hips, gentle, and study his face. He’s propped up on his elbows, watching the sight of a cock entering him for the first time, and he looks… Curious, almost. Confused, but also turned on, if his blown out pupils have anything to do with it.
“Okay? Tell me if you need me to slow down.”
Zayne nods, his focus unwavering as I push further. Again… There’s little resistance. Maybe I should have gotten a bigger one.
“Keep going.” He encourages me. With a snap of my hips, I’m flush against the bare skin of his ass, and with the sudden movement, his head goes back, and a long moan leaves his throat. I watch his adam’s apple work through the sound.
After that, I start to fuck him, rolling slowly against him, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in, giving him the chance to get used to what must be an extremely foreign feeling to him.
It isn’t long before he’s panting, open mouthed, his brows pulling up and together as he falls back against the pillows. God, I can’t help but think how cute he looks like this… For once, he’s the one laying back and letting me fuck him into the mattress, and it’s not hard to see how much he’s enjoying it.
We’ve been together long enough for me to know how turned on he gets when I’m the one who takes more initiative. One evening, after he let himself into my apartment, shortly after we really started dating, I shoved him against the wall, kissed him until neither of us could breathe, and he came the moment I shoved my hand down his pants. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about– well, not this exactly – but something like this ever since. Seeing how easily he falls apart for me, and me alone, the great and powerful Dr. Zayne, just makes me want to take more and more. To push him further and further, but God–
One of my hands replaces his own at the back of his thigh, pushing it up further, and my other hand braces itself against his muscular chest while my thrusts grow faster, shallower, and the moment I hit that perfect angle, amidst the soft whimpers leaving him with every thrust, his expression contorts further. His stomach clenches, and he cries out, grabbing my wrist against his chest, almost like it’s a lifeline as his head turns into the pillows.
“Please– fuck–” Zayne manages, his voice high and thready while I pound into that sweet spot.
“Please what, love?” I ask, my own voice a little hoarse, punctuated with sharp breaths.
“I can’t– I’m– I’m close.” He gasps, while I punch out more soft moans from him. His cock bounces with every thrust, painting a thin line of precum across his abs.
I need no further instructions. I extricate my wrist from his grip, pushing his knee higher, until it’s almost against his chest. His other leg has long since fallen, his thigh quivering. I wrap my hand around his erection and jerk it hard and fast while I fuck into his body.
Zayne’s back arches into a perfect curve, and I swear the sight of it almost has me coming instead of him. I grind into him, doing my best to stimulate him from both sides, and I swear I can see a tear running down the side of his face and into the pillow.
“Go on.” I say, and he does. The sound he makes almost sounds like a sob, and peters off into a desperate whimper as he comes in my hand, and I can feel his ass tightening, trying to push me out while I continue to grind against his prostate. His cock throbs in my hand, and warm come splatters over his own chest, dribbles over my fist while I work him through it. His hips roll against my own, the movements uncoordinated and almost staccato, his long, pale neck on full display as his head goes back, and the arch in his spine becomes more pronounced. He trembles against me, gasping, and only once I see the tension in his limbs start to fade, do I stop.
In the aftermath, we’re both left panting. Zayne’s eyes don’t open again until I pull out of him. He whines at the loss, or maybe the discomfort, I can’t be sure which, and his hazy eyes find mine while his chest continues to heave, and his heart likely races.
There’s a soft smile on his lips as the harness comes off, the lube is put away, and I crawl to settle into his side. Our bodies stick together with the thin sheen of sweat covering us both.
I give him a second to catch his breath, and then look up at him. He’s staring at the ceiling like he’s just had a revelation. It’s kind of funny.
“So…” I start, almost singing the word, propping myself up to lean over him, “Are you gonna let me do that again, cause…”
When he looks at me, I’m very suddenly taken off guard by the molten gold in his eyes.
Zayne huffs a little laugh and shakes his head.
“Only if you get a towel to clean us up with. I’m not sure my legs are capable of supporting my weight at the moment.” It’s my turn to laugh. He really does look like he’s about to pass out, but he’s not so far gone as to let go of the chance to give me one of his famous Dr. Zayne scowling faces. I kiss the pout off of his lips, and jump up to go get a warm, wet towel.
“Is that Dr. Zayne speak for, ‘Wow, you totally just blew my brains out and gave me the best orgasm of my life’?” I lean over him as I return, and he pulls me down into another kiss, slower, and longer this time.
“Your translation skills need a bit of work to capture the true intent… But I suppose that one works just as well.” He chuckles against my lips.
“So are you going to finish telling me about all the lobes of the prostate? I was actually pretty invested. I mean, I definitely am now.”
“Not tonight. Just lay down, darling.”
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Lost cause? 4.1: Would she hate me for this?
Previous chapter
Authors note: This scene is from Jungkook's pov from the last few paragraphs of chapter 4. I wanted to keep the thoughts he had while this scene happened in a separate chapter, so enjoy, ily🩷
Note: The part that's marked in blue is still in Y/N's pov and is also underlined in blue in chapter four if you wanna trace back the starting of this chapter in the previous one.
Words: 2.6k words approx
Any kind of warnings? Yes, maybe: a heartbreaking kiss and both of them being bad at communication. Jungkook's inner thoughts. Angst. Infidelity mentions. Therapy mentions psychological thoughts regarding guilt and love and hurt and comfort, and love.
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"How did I know? How about, why didn't I know?" You raise your voice slightly, and he shuts the door so that your parents don't get their sleep interrupted, tilting slightly towards the entrance, your bed not being that far from the door.
She asked me why I didn't tell her? What could I even tell her? That I didn't wanna make my already cheated-on wife who's carrying our baby with a broken heart that was caused by me. The wife who thinks too much for her own good. Tell her that I rejected my dream job - our dream job - because I found her and our baby to be more important at the moment? So that she could probably find herself the reason for it, fuck no.
"Y/N I am sorr-" she cuts me off as I apologize again.
"Sorry? How many things are gonna be okay just because you apologize, Jungkook?! It was your dream. You worked so hard for it.." she says as her tears fall and my heart rips apart at how her face reddens due to crying.
She was crying for me? Because of me, again?
How many times more do I have to be responsible for her tears? How much am I gonna hurt her? How much is she gonna cry because of her pathetic husband?
Seeing her cry so much and breathe heavily, I look down at her lap, trying to control my emotions until she yells at me. Her hand slipping up against my skin.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She exclaims.
It seemed like she didn't realize when her hand shifted from my t-shirt's neckline to my neck. I feel relaxed and very selfishly happy when she doesn't remove her hand even after she sees me reacting to her touch.
Fuck. I wanna carve her touch in my mind, soul, and body. I shut my eyes, taking in the touch, feeling like there was a part of me missing from me, and I just found it.
It had been so long.
"Tell me, kook?" You whisper, so slowly bringing me back to my senses. Did she just rub her thumb against my skin? When I finally registered her voice calling me, I realized what she was asking me, and my heart skipped a beat.
In fear.
She looks at me wishing for an answer and I panic, what if she wanted me to take the job? Would she want me to go away? Would she think it's better if she stays away from me? If I stay away from her?
I answer in a very short statement with a sigh, trying to calm my breathing, "Baby, they wanted me to go away." I say, the petname falling out of my mouth so smoothly.
They wanted me to go away from her and our daughter. I would never do that. Nobody can make me.
"Dont lie to me, Jungkook, please. Yoongi told me they were ready to fix the schedule according to you -"
Damn it-
Yoongi hyung was definitely gonna hear an earful from me for this. Why did he have to tell her this? Couldn't he have waited until I gained some kind of courage to tell her myself? Couldn't he just wait for some time before telling her how I fucked things up for us in a new way? I was finally, finally getting somewhere.
Before she completes her sentence, I tell her the truth, although I feel bad for cutting her sentence midway.
"And you think they were gonna do that for me forever?"
The funniest part was when they offered me the job and then expected me to go away to tokyo for 8 months after my daughter was a newborn alongside my wife, who would be a newborn mother.
It was funny to me because it seemed like a joke to me. A bad one at that. Who the fuck were they to even think of seperating me from my family. Hadn't it been for Joon hyung, I would've resigned on the spot..
..But she doesn't need to know so many details. I just hope Yoongi hyung didn't tell her about the arguments I had with the president, some of them almost risking my career at his company.
"Why did you say that I agreed, why didnt you come talk to me? Do you think I wouldn't have understood or that you think it's not important for me to know?"
Her question brought me straight back to the room where I argued with the president, almost making me scoff at how ironic the whole situation is.
Ironic, since he asked me a similar question that day, "Is this company nothing to you? You wouldn't even try to work with this?" Namjoon and I sat across the president with the letter in front of me.
The moment I shook my head firmly in refusal and looked at the frustrated boss in front of me, all three of the men in the room knew it was gonna be a long evening. Making me slightly anxious about my wife waiting for me to eat dinner at home while some senior at work makes me feel bad for not accepting his offer.
He told me how I was the best fit and he was one of my well wishers for wanting this for me, I appreciated the opportunity, I really did, I still do but nothing could've made me go away from her. I couldn't have explained things to him in detail, so he obviously couldn't have understood anyhow about the reasons I was so stubbornly refusing because of,
So I didn't. I just refused. Again and again.
Now, coming back to her question.
"Would you have let me quit if I wanted to?" I asked instantly and see her expressions pause. Exactly. I can see the thoughts behind her eyes. She would've wanted me to get my dream job, and I would've wanted to be with our dream.
Us, our family. Happy. Together.
"You see, baby? That's why I didn't tell you. You're already handling so many responsibilities, I didn't wanna worry you more." I didn't wanna make her feel burdened with any more responsibilities or any kind of blame that I know for a fact she would've directed towards herself.
Knowing the kind of over thinker she is, I knew this would've been the better decision for us.
I could work harder in the future for this promotion, maybe get better roles than this one, but right now, I wanted to be a good father and a good husband.
She looks at me. Her eyes looked at me to try and find the truth behind my words, and I know she does. She can read me very well. One of the reasons I have always been honest with her. She has always been open to conversations and let me be open to her always.
It's something she deserves for being so perfect at everything, as minimal as her being a human. She was perfect at everything for me.
I continue, "They were willing to change my schedule for me only until she is born.." I look at her tummy and feel my heart swell with love for our daughter and then the beautiful woman carrying her.
"..I can't risk being away from you again. It might sound like I am lying, but Y/N, baby, I dont wanna be away from you for a single second. I wanna prove myself to be worthy of a second chance. I wanna be worthy of you and her. I can't imagine my life even for a second without you or her. You can push me all you want, you can yell at me all you want but dont tell me that I should've chosen a job and not my family time. I know I dont have an answer for why I did what.." I pause, feeling the knot in my throat.
The night, fresh in my memory.
The way she cried, screaming with so much pain in her heart, the balcony where she told me she was leaving me, the house, the kitchen where she blacked out after crying so much, everything was embedded in my memory like a nightmare I couldnt never forget.
"...I did, I myself don't know why I did it and trust me if I could turn back the time I would. But baby..." I really wish I could go back in time and stop myself from committing the sin that would hurt my wife in a way we never dreamed of. I could never have dreamed of.
I put my hand on hers that rested on my cheek, waiting to see her reaction to my touch. When she doesn't react negatively or in any way that should make me take my hand back, I continue,
"...I love you, and I will love you for my whole life, I will love you and my family until I breathe. I am so sorry for fucking things up but I want to fix them, I can fix them, we will fix it. Just dont please.." I say it, I say it again and I will repeat it as long as I can to make sure she knows I love her. Squeezing my eyes shut I gather the courage to make a request I shouldnt be making, I dont have the right to ask her this but I think I wont be able to breathe if I dont.
I need to know what she wants.
"...dont ask me to go away from you. I can't live away from you. I would quit my job if that's what it takes to be with my family, to take care of my family, to take care of you, and to take care of us. Please tell me I can be with you, can you please tell me you dont want me to go away? Pleas-"
But before I could finish my request and beg her not to go away from me, she pulled me towards her with her hands on my neck. I expected a hug when she pulled me, a hug that would comfort her stress and maybe help my heart get some comfort as well. But what happened made my knees buckle and heart pause.
She tells me her answer.
She does, but the way she expresses it makes my heart beat in reverse. I almost forgot how her lips felt like against me, the soft pillows against my slightly chapped ones. It was a feeling I was addicted to, and these months of staying away from her made me lose my sanity sometimes.
I think she would move back, maybe thinking of this as a mistake and also maybe a decision that was made impulsively or maybe out of muscle memory. But she doesn't, she doesn't move, in fact she moves her lips against me slightly tilting her head making my breath hitche.
I can't help but shut my eyes at the feeling of her lips moving against me. I feel myself giving into the kiss, but then it hits me. Hits me like someone poured water on my face.
This was wrong. I can't kiss her. What if she regrets this in the morning? What if she thinks I took advantage of her being stressed out. I can't kiss her without thinking this through or without talking to her about this. I lost the right to rightfully kiss her when..
Oh god.
I think of pulling back, but then she squeezes my t-shirt in such need that I almost whine in her mouth. This feels like torture. I want to move away from her, I don’t want to move away from her at the same time. Moving back from her arms is better, the right thing.
Oh, why does every right thing have to be so difficult to do?
I try making up my mind because one moment of me giving in might cause the downfall of the progress we built. We can talk about this to the therapist after I move back after I back off. But how do I do it? She needs me. Would moving back be okay? What if she loses hope in our relationship? But what if she tells me that she regrets this later? What if she hates me for this?
Fuck this. Two more seconds.
I kiss her back, shutting my eyes for two more seconds, and the thought of breaking the kiss makes me almost sob. I sniffle as my tears burn my eyes when I sense that you realize what I'm about to do.
Oh god, I don't want to do this. I am so sorry, Y/N. I love you but I have to do this for us. I can't do this, I can't kiss you. I can't touch you, not like this, not with a risk of losing you, I can't hurt you anymore. I can't do this. I need to move away. I need to pull myself back. Fuck.
I do it, and I hate myself for it.
I hate myself. I hate myself for the look she gives me after I move back. My eyes are burning wuth tears my cheeks feel wet from our mixed tears. Sniffling, I move back from our space, move back from the bed, move back from the kiss, move back from her, and maybe move back a space from our progress.
I dont know how this would affect us. I could kiss her better tomorrow if she feels like it, I could make it better, but I wouldn't be able to see hatred in her eyes for me. Not again.
Not after so many months of being away from her.
I get up and take a step back, shaking my head out of the dizzyness, eyes squeezed shut. Cursing myself under my breath, I do my best not to look at how frozen she looks.
Oh God, I must've made her feel so embarrassed. Should I sit back down and kiss her again, or should I tell her why I did this?
"I- I am sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't, I can't. I am really sorry, I shouldn't. I just shouldn't. I am sorry." As usual I chose the latter but probably fucking up the situation further more.
I need help.
In order to not make her feel more embarrassed, I leave the room, shutting the door, not completely but leaving it slightly ajar so that I could run to her if she needs me.
I try to busy myself in the kitchen cleaning things up, storing the leftovers in the fridge, cleaning the island and preparing things for the morning so that Y/N's mom could find it easy cooking breakfast in the morning.
I put a glass under the water purifier, filling it with water to keep on Y/Ns nighstand. I wish she is asleep before I go to her room to keep the water but since my luck wants to test me these days, I find her wide eyed along with a red nose looking at me with swollen eyes.
Shit.
"Good night," I whisper to her, trying not to look at her, but eventually, when I do, it feels like someone just punched me in the gut.
I feel so mad at myself, this was getting so much complicated and somehow I have fucked everything more, every single time. I hope we can talk about this in the morning, I just hope I can talk about the kiss without making her cry again or making her feel embaressed again. I hope we can move forward with therapy and make things better between us.
Moreover I just hope, pray and wish I dont fuck things up more for us.
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Fandom and LGBTQ Hostility and My Experiences Trying to Exist in Both Spaces Online
I came into these spaces with a very strict rule that I would not react or do anything cancel-worthy out of an overabundance of caution. Digital footprints are dangerous. The things you say online will follow you around forever. I know that first hand. I’ve bottled up and stayed silent about a lot of things I’ve either witnessed first-hand or experienced because I was trying to maintain a clean online persona. I’m not an ‘airing out dirty laundry’ type person.
In light of recent events however, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer sit here and not say something about how I feel. I’m disappointed and frustrated with the experiences I’ve had both in fandom and LGBTQ+ spaces and I can’t be complacent. I’m tired of getting treated like this, I’m fed up and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I feel it’s important I voice what I’ve been watching and what’s happened and how I’m not going to tolerate it anymore by calling it out first hand.
This is a two-topic rant. They overlap in some instances, but it directly has to do with how fandoms behave in general towards each other on Twitter and Tumblr, and also how absolutely hostile LGBTQ+ individuals are nowadays to each other on the same platforms.
I come from a different generation and a different social media platform. I wasn’t on Twitter and Tumblr until last year. I’m not dismissing the fact that I may have missed out on decades worth of culture and social expectation. The places where I come from aren’t exactly fantastic either, but at least here, more queer people are interacting with each other with shared interests much more widely than in places like DeviantArt. The amount of culture and information I’ve absorbed in one year is more than I ever had within the past twenty years. It should be a good thing, and I’m disappointed that it wasn’t.
This is not the way I wanted to come out online to anyone. I’ve been figuring out where I sit on the gender and sexuality spectrum for a while now. I will not document a specific timeline for anyone because that’s nobody’s business but my own. Within the last year, I took a massive stride forward in exploring things I legally didn’t think I was allowed to. I expected backlash from cishets and the usual thing I see LGBTQ+ folks write essays over, about how the world hates us, but at least we have each other. Shockingly, the backlash didn’t come from straight people. It came from other queers.
I am 27 years old and I am entirely self-sufficient. I’m mixed Puerto Rican living in a red state. English wasn’t even my first language. I don’t have a network, so I’m teaching myself these things. I'm asking questions. I'm reading materials and expressions of self-experience and self-identity through fanworks and other autobiographical content. I'm actively trying to seek community and support through transgender and non-binary individuals with shared interests and so far all I've been met with is hostility and assumptions. So much so that I've now been made to feel like I'm on a timeline to figure it out so I can have a well-practiced, short introduction to copy and paste to every person who comes across me. And the only reason I even need one is so that they can make the decision to pass judgement over whether or not I'm allowed to speak, write, draw, wear, act, breathe the things I do. I'm disappointed. I'm anxious. I honestly feel more shoved into the closet now than I ever did before and I shouldn't be. Nobody should be treated this way when trying to figure out who they are. I probably won't even get an apology for the things that were said to me, either. I pride myself on the extraordinary caution I take to be politically correct, vetted through reputable sources, and as close to authentic as possible. And yet somehow I’m still getting called things like terf, transmisogynistic, triggering, when I’m fucking trans myself and all of my content gets vetted/REQUESTED by trans individuals. I get promised up and down that people are kind and welcoming in these sorts of spaces and honey, they aren’t. The people you choose to be friends with aren't as inclusive and friendly as you think they are. You don’t even know me and what body parts I have. The fact that you need to know in order to decide whether or not to treat me with respect is telling of an internal issue that has nothing to do with me.
I have no reference point. I live in a place where laws ban anything gender and trans. I have no local resources or community. I've barely met any LGBTQ people in person. If I have, they never came out publicly. Most of my queer exposure has been online, and the fact that I've seen nothing but angry, mean, exclusive and discriminating behavior without any sort of reasoning why other than selfish defensiveness, I don't know where else I'm supposed to go for support. Something a lot of you guys need to take into retrospect is anyone who identifies as LGBTQ gets shot where I live. We have sundown towns here. If you don’t even know what that is, good, but also that’s telling of your privilege that you need to consider when talking to others not from blue states. I didn’t grow up in an environment where we had these highly liberal culture points and the word ‘gay’ was never allowed to be said out loud. We did not have gay clubs in school. I'm about as fucking late to this as you possibly can get. The only reason I know anything about our history, representation, and barely anything about what's socially acceptable and what's not, is because of the internet. So many of you had the privilege of being exposed to this information as young as under the age of 10. I didn’t. Sue me for not immediately knowing what every gender label means right off the bat. Half that stuff isn’t even legal here.
I can't believe it's boiled down to the fact that I have to somehow justify my existence on this Earth and give an explanation that fits into predetermined boxes just to do anything to engage with other people. I have no time or space to figure it out. I’m disorganized and overwhelmed because I can’t ask questions about ‘can butches do this?’ ‘How versatile is transmasc/transfem?’ ‘Am I more genderqueer or do I fit under the trans umbrella?’ Gender and identity is fluid and ever changing. I have actually seen people harp and attack individuals for "defaulting" or "detransitioning" when they change their mind after giving this big coming out speech. It’s like support on these platforms is entirely conditional and a one-time thing. Y'all really expect people to wear the first style of shirt they buy for the rest of their life? Are we not allowed to do anything unless we know for sure? How’s college working out for you, for those who believe this mindset?
The vocally aggressive ones who use big words that contradict their statements can do, say, and be whatever they want. But people like me can't. The ones who have to straight pass in public to keep their jobs and maintain their life safely. Some of us have been on our own since 19 with no family support. Consider the environment someone lives in before assigning your harsh assumptions. I can’t just change myself on a whim without doing significant damage control. Half the jobs I work for don’t even allow unnatural hair colors. If we list our pronouns as anything other than our assigned sex at birth, it causes legality issues with taxes. The way I have to navigate how to explore my identity and also keep a roof over my head and my bills paid may seem highly conservative to most. It’s in no way shape or form meant to reflect disrespect on how others live and express themselves. I am doing the best with the environment I have. The way I do things is not meant to be read as a message of ‘you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way I do.’ None of us are wrong. That should not be the subliminal message here.
You know someone actually challenged me on that? Saying I was being harmful for purposefully straight presenting in public? Please research your country and state specific laws before you say that to me. If I could afford to live somewhere safer and queer-friendly, this conversation would be different. I am working on getting the fuck out of this state. But I don’t have a partner or parents money to default on. I’m doing this by myself. It’s not impossible, just a slow process.
I'm disappointed and fed up. I've reached my limit, and I don't really care anymore if someone uses this essay to try and cancel me 5 or 10 years from now when the world goes through another gender renaissance of terms and identities. I will not put up with being treated like this when you refuse to listen to anyone else other than the sound of your own voice. I’m trying my best to learn, adapt, and express myself. I do not need to be lectured or be called derogatory things just because you think I’m coming from a malicious place.
It’s not just about the hostility and gate-keeping behavior exhibited in online queer spaces. The same exact thing happens in fandom spaces too. People get pissy about queer headcanons and presentations so much to the point of taking it upon themselves to police the fandom and scrub it clean of “impurities.” I’ve watched y’all go through people's social media pages for any type of ammunition for justification of a personal grievance. It shocks me how much hyperfixation gets put on specific and morally harmless things when there are people out there writing diabolical shit way worse than what I have to offer. And y’all happily support them too but bark at me about what I make cus that author fits your social criteria and you assumed I didn’t. Don't think I'm ignorant to every single scrap of hate mail and harassment I've gotten over the past year and a half in my inboxes. Including the passive aggressive posts about my work, vague tweets, and discussions about me in discord servers. Over what? Have you actually read my work? If it’s actually as problematic as you say it is, provide me with a modern and unbiased example why this particular scene and execution is harmful. And not because you got triggered or disliked the kink, or read the summary/tags and assumed it was something it’s not. I don’t know how much more caution tape, massive warnings, obvious clear-cut tags (that were provided to me by queer individuals to PUT on there in the first place) out of insane amounts of caution I can do. I have always been willing to provide spoilers and explicit details in case someone is unsure how they’ll be affected by something I make. If you already don’t like it based on my warnings, that’s always been more than okay! My work is not for everyone. I’m getting tired of politely and respectfully saying please move on, because the message seems to be getting lost in translation. So let me be clear;
Get off my pages if you don’t like what I make. It’s not for you. It will never be for you. Dead dove. DO NOT EAT. PREFERRED DEMOGRAPHIC 25+ ADULT CONTENT RATED E FOR EXPLICIT. I can recommend so many other fantastic creators with better suited content for you! If I could hide my content behind a roped off section deliberately keeping you from seeing it, I would. BLOCK ME.
If your response to this section is ‘well then just don’t write it’. Honey, there’s people out here in the RWBY fandom writing trans incest actively commenting on all your shit and you respond back. A magic grimm-goo strap and monster smut featuring a transfem character (again, requested by literally 3 trans people and WRITTEN by one) should be the least of your worries.
I have actively chosen not to address the harassment and hate mail, because it's sad that half of you hate me so much you need to make a point of telling me so regularly. I sincerely hope moving on with your lives will grant you peace of mind. Truly.
This is why I barely interact with anyone. Nothing but hostility, harassment, and expectation to behave in ways I cannot emotionally commit to. I am exhausted, uninspired, and have such a bad taste in my mouth it's proving extremely difficult to want to do anything creative. It’s been worse with my recent exploration of my gender identity. Opening one door to write about certain things somehow, miraculously, closes ones I previously existed in. I’m practically getting kicked out if I’m not 100% one way or another. I don’t go out of my way to shove my content down your throats. Why you feel the need to come to me and tell me you dislike my existence because you read it, despite me stating this is not for everyone and probably not for you, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Idk what else I can do. Disappear off the face of the planet, I guess. That seems to be what the overall solution is when y’all find something you don’t like. I can't believe I witnessed grown adults in their mid twenties with self-proclaimed senses of rightness start a trend on Twitter to go through people's mutuals and their likes to see if they’re socially acceptable in Fandom spaces or not. That was fucking ridiculous. And especially not fair to those who had their private accounts leaked and put on blast when it was already behind an vetted follower wall. Believe it or not, people draw weird, lewd, diabolical shit. They’re actually being responsible by putting it behind a paywall, or some type of ‘proof of age before following’ requirement. It falls on the people who go on there, take screenshots, and post them publicly for minors and non-consenting individuals to see without filters what was previously hidden. It’s irresponsible and immature.
For fear of getting canceled by the Fandom, I moved all 600+ accounts I was following onto a private alt. I don't interact with my main anymore. I went so far into hiding and didn’t dare share anything about liking content made by people I wasn’t allowed to like, because that’s how cruel it is out here. It's honestly stupid I even felt like I had to do that. For what? People glazed over the brief moment of drama within a few weeks and went right back to posting the same shit they always have. They find new things to gossip about on their privs. New enemies to cancel on Twitter. New things to deem problematic and attack.
I will be heard with this letter. I don’t care to be associated with anyone who treats people like this. I don’t believe in it, I won’t support it, and I’d rather have a small circle of people who won’t be rude or attack other people for existing. I’m not going to sit here and take the abuse any longer. Leave me in peace. There is no reason any of this should be happening.
This is not meant to undermine the support I have gotten from the few who know what I'm going through and have given me the space to figure it out. I appreciate every question answered and insight provided as much as your abilities allow. I'm so grateful for it. I just wish it wasn't 2 people while everyone else is an asshole.
#Happy pride to me I guess!#LGBTQ+#RWBY#consider this my hiatus notice#do better#breaking my silence
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