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plasticflwrs · 14 hours

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✿ ، With the rise of long-form video essays on YouTube, user GOTHIC GWYN changed the K-Pop fandom with her seventy-five-minute analysis, PLASTIC FLOWERS: BREAKING THE INDIE SCENE. Since it was posted in 2022, the video has reached over 5 million views and GOTHIC GWYN still posts semi-regularly. In this section of the video, the creator discusses the three original members of The Big Gloom—IRUM, SEOWON, and CHAESOL—and Plastic Flowers—DAL, JIHUN, and MINGHUI. This layout was inspired by the lovely myah aka @/venusvity !

( PART VI: I ALWAYS WANT YOU WHEN I'M FINALLY FREE ... YING SHUHANG ) ⬭ It is all but confirmed that Irum and Salem had dated prior to 2016. Shuhang had kept pictures of the pair on his public Instagram up until 2020 when the new fans of Plastic Flowers finally dived into finding the former members and everything about them. As of 2023, his account has been private but the pictures never truly get deleted. They surface about once a year when fans are reminded of The Big Gloom's existence and it annoys all of the members, past and present. It has gone far even that Superbloom is threatening legal action on behalf of Irum as well. Their alleged breakup coincides with the signing of Salem under Superbloom Media and when the band "broke up". Of all the members, he is the most private and has no public social media outside of the The Big Gloom's accounts on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok. Formerly Salem's second in command, fans from the beginning have noticed that Shuhang has never bounced back from their initial separation and has said a few times that he regrets not signing, especially with their recent success. However, he always wishes the best for the members and even covered Youth by Oliver with Chaesol back in April.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Irum ( 이룸 ).

Birth Name. Ying Shuhang ( 英书航 ).

Born. Feburary 22, 1998 in Maoming, China.

Position. Vocalist, Guitarist.

Years Active. 2014 — 2016; 2018 — present.

Label. Unsigned.

Face Claim. Xiao Dejun.

( PART VII: I AM DESTROYING MYSELF SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T ... CHOI SEOWON ) ⬭ Choi Seowon was tired of being ignored. For the last two years, his ideas and demos had been passed up by the group, and by 2016, he was already planning on leaving the entire group. The situation with Superbloom just gave him the perfect opportunity to change things. While everyone blames the end of the original lineup on Irum, accounts by both Salem and Chaesol make this seem false. They have stated multiple times that Seowon was the first to voice his opinions against Superbloom Media and being signed. He knew that he would still be ignored in favor of the other members as the drummer and needed a way out of this. As they went back on the idea, he remained on the side against signing and eventually, got Irum on his side with an unknown agreement. Since 2018, he has served as the leader of The Big Gloom and is easily the most popular member for his reactions to Plastic Flowers on Twitch. Whenever something happens to the group, he is always just behind them with nasty comments about their looks and the direction of their music, mainly focused on Salem.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Seowon ( 서원 ).

Birth Name. Choi Seowon ( 최서원 ).

Born. April 9, 1998 in Ulsan, South Korea.

Position. Leader, Drummer.

Years Active. 2015 — 2017; 2018 — present.

Label. Unsigned.

Face Claim. Choi San.

( PART VII: I STILL WAKE UP WITH THINGS TO TELL YOU ... CHOI CHAESOL ) ⬭ Chaesol and Salem were best friends for two years before the creation of Plastic Flowers. While Salem was the leader of their garage band, Chaesol was the glue that held them together. She was always able to calm disagreements between the other three and give solutions to make them all happy. Born as the eldest of three other siblings, this was almost second nature to the young girl. Chaesol was the reason that Salem met the other two and should be credited more for her impact on the group. In 2017, she was on the fence about Superbloom Media. She knew that it would be good exposure for the band but idol companies were not known for their leniency and she wanted to keep her autonomy over music and herself. Chaesol had seen her own classmates be chewed and spit out by companies like them. So, when Irum and Seowon denied the contract, she came along with them. Since November of 2018, she has served as the Main Vocalist, Guitarist, and Pianist of their new band Overstepping. She is also still close with Salem even after everything and was spotted at their first 'concert' in the VIP section alongside the member's parents and close friends.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Chaesol ( 채솔 ).

Birth Name. Choi Chaesol ( 최채솔 ).

Born. November 28, 1998 in Ulsan, South Korea.

Position. Main Vocalist, Guitarist, Pianist.

Years Active. 2015 — 2017; 2018 — present.

Label. Unsigned.

Face Claim. Kim Jiwoo.

( PART IX: YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A TENDERNESS IN YOUR HEART FOR THEM. ... MYUNG JISOO ) ⬭ Before there was Oliver Song, Myung Jisoo was the apple of Shin Yeonghui's eye and had been personally scouted by the CEO at her dance recital. She would be one of the first trainees to join Superbloom after their rebrand and was supposed to debut in their first girl group Celatum in 2015. No one really knows what happened behind the scenes, but, she was removed from the lineup with another future Plastic Flowers member, Oh Deurim. Seeing her potential as an idol, she was added to the Plastic Flowers lineup despite having no background in any instruments, instead being a dancer.

She would be trained by her band mates Oliver and Salem as the new drummer for the band and looks back fondly at her time as a member of Plastic Flowers. Though things were very hard due to their low sales and learning to play the drums, she thanks them for making her interested in the behind-the-scenes of making music and wanting to be a lyricist. Her contract, sadly, would be ended due to Superbloom Media's lack of funds and Shin Yeonghui wanting to see her under a better company for her immense talents.

In 2017, she would be replaced by Kang Junyeong as the drummer of Plastic Flowers and Jisoo would go completely silent until 2019. In the years between her contract ending, she would join KQ Entertainment and act as a choreography and dance instructor, working closely with the members of ATEEZ from pre-debut until now. In 2019, she would return to the music scene as a soloist under her birth name, Jisoo. Her debut with Gotta Go would be very well received and she continues to make music today.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Dal ( 달 ).

Birth Name. Myung Jisoo ( 명지수 ).

Born. April 2, 1997 in Seoul, South Korea.

Position. Vocalist, Drummer.

Years Active. 2016; 2019 — Present.

Label. KQ Entertainment.

Face Claim. Kim Yoohyeon.

( PART X: I WAS WITH THEM AND YET I WAS ALONE. ... KANG SOONYOUNG ) ⬭ Kang Soonyoung never speaks about his time with Plastic Flowers and is often the most forgotten former member of the band. He would be a Superbloom Media trainee for just two weeks before being added into the lineup as one of the few trainees that already knew how to play the piano. Unlike the rest of the members, Soonyoung was never credited as a vocalist because he never had the real vocal training needed, he was scouted for his good looks over his talent. In a deleted Instagram post, Soonyoung would thank Plastic Flowers for being so accommodating to his lack of talents, but would blame Superbloom for not letting them stay together in the long run. He is easily the most vocal of their former artists about their bad business practices and uses of manipulative tactics to get trainees and band mates to hate each other.

In 2019, Soonyoung would make his comeback to the music scene as a trainee on the survival show Produce X 101 as a Starship Entertainment trainee. Alongside all of his label mates, he would make it to the shows finale, but failed to secure a spot in the final lineup and ranking #11 overall. It was later revealed that due to the eleventh member of X1 being chosen by the total number of votes, he would lose out on his spot to Lee Eunsang. He would return to Starship and later debut as a vocalist and visual of their newest boy group Cravity in 2020.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Jihun ( 지훈 ).

Birth Name. Kang Soonyoung ( 강순영 ).

Born. March 18, 2000 in Seoul, South Korea.

Position. Pianist, Visual.

Years Active. 2016; 2019 — Present.

Label. Starship Entertainment.

Face Claim. Kim Sunwoo.

( PART XI: WAS I RAISED WITHOUT LOVE OR WAS I BORN UNLOVABLE? ... LIN MINGHUI ) ⬭　Compared to the rest of the members, Lin Minghui never discusses anything from his childhood. The only stories that we truly have about him is from their trainee era and since their debut. From what we know, he was born in Hualien City to a single, teenage mother and was raised primarily by his maternal grandparents while his mother completed her schooling and attempted to live a normal life. By all means, Lin Shufen always tried her best with raising Minghui but, according to court documents found by sasaengs, she was forced to give full custody rights to her parents and could not be alone with her son due to her not paying rent on time, toxic relationships, and neglecting Minghui at her parent's house for days. The court case was started by his grandparents and they raised Minghui as their son since 2010.

Minghui cites both FT Island and SHINee as his inspirations and reasons for getting into K-pop. He learned piano at a young age at his grandparents recommendation. In 2015, Superbloom Media made a trip to scout idols from Taiwan and as a fan of their original artist, Kim Yuchan, he decided to take a chance. He thought that it would be fate if they accepted him and it was a sign to become an idol due to his lack in dance and most vocal abilities. With a bright personality and dedication to the idol industry, he was originally scouted to be an entertainer or actor. He moved to Seoul with his grandparents, who had been retired at that point, and lived with them rather the training dorm.

He continued training to be an actor but when Superbloom began scrambling for new members of Plastic Flowers, he was considered due to his knowledge of the piano which very few trainees had. They expedited his vocal training and kept him primarily in the background of Plastic Flowers to not cause anymore drama about who was chosen as Junyeong fought anti's almost everyday. He was supposed to compete on Superband with Gwyn in 2019, however, he was not chosen in the final round and was sent home to Superbloom to await Gwyn's return. Minghui is easily one of the most known members of the band due to his work on variety shows and helped them gain more fans as well.

In 2021, his departure from Plastic Flowers would be announced by Superbloom Media and due to musical conflicts with both the company and members of the band. However, in a statement in 2023, Minghui would say he left because of the members and their constant fighting.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Minghui ( 밍후이 ).

Birth Name. Lin Minghui ( 林明辉 ).

Born. March 3, 2000 in Hualien City, Taiwan.

Position. Pianist, Vocalist.

Years Active. 2017 — 2021.

Label. Unsigned.

Face Claim. Liu Yangyang.

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royalarchivist · 7 months

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Foolish: You know what? Fit: it's the perfect alibi. "Just a janitor," going through... just to cleaning around everywhere... talk to a lot of people... and you're just bald and such, you know, no one would think twice that you- may be you'd up to something.

Fit: Foolish that's- that's literally the entire point, we've been over this.

Pac: You like the plumber's work, right? You like to get your hand in the plumber's and- do the stuffs, and plumb [makes a very loud popping sound] those pipes, right?

[Everyone loses it and starts laughing]

Pac: I'm sorry- I'm sor- I'm- [laughs] I did- I didn't mean-

Fit: WAS THE SOUND NECESSARY???

Foolish: No, the sound made it.

Pac: I didn't- I didn't hear myself- sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh my god, I'm so shy right now, I'm just gonna sit.

[Full transcript ↓ ]

Fit: Foolish that's- that's literally the entire point, we've been over this.

Foolish: Have we?

Fit: I said I'm- I'm trying to find out more about like, the Code Monsters!

Foolish: I thought you just wanted- liked being a janitor.

Fit: Well, I actually do kinda like it, I'll be honest with you, I like getting paid, but-

Foolish: Wait damnnit, Philza's doing it right.

Pac: You like the plumber's work, right?

Fit: Yeah.

Pac: You like to get your hand in the plumber's and- do the stuffs, and plumb [makes a very loud popping sound] those pipes, right?

[Everyone loses it and starts laughing]

Pac: I'm sorry- I'm sor- I'm- [laughs] I did- I didn't mean-

Fit: WAS THE SOUND NECESSARY???

Foolish: No, the sound made it.

Pac: I didn't- I didn't hear myself- sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh my god, I'm so shy right now, I'm just gonna sit.

#FitMC #PacTW #HideDuo #FitPac #QSMP #FoolishGamers #Philza #Foolish #Pac #Fit #Phil #The reason this took so long to edit is 100% because it gave me THAT bad second-hand embarassment #Me: Thank god I finally finished editing this now I never have to listen to it again #Me realizing I still have to write the transcripts: FRICK #In Pac's defense: you actually couldn't hear the pop that well from most stream POVs #unfortunately on Fit and Phil's stream (esp. Phil's stream) it was frickin HD quality #and VERY loud #They let Pac get away with this WAY too easily but you know what #the way he covered his face like that and immediately sat down in game was very cute #so I can't blame them for giving him a free pass #he's very cute when he's flustered #I always like the side-by-side reaction comparisons and I hope y'all do too!#Phil's reactions are always funny #''Every day Philza Miinecraft is oppressed by the gays''#Q #I really do need to spend less time doing stuff for this blog and the archive...#I'm not getting paid for it. It takes up way too much time #it is good video editing practice though but...#Edited

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kaizynofsickness · 2 months

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MEGUMI THOUGHTS

Warnings: Pussy drunk themes, fingering, slut and slutty used, cream pies and back shots.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) I can imagine Megumi getting so turned on and damn hard when you just lay on your stomach, ass slightly arched.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) you have a habit of having your slutty body propped when you're watching your phone or drawing, eating, listening to music. Doing whatever you do with you on your stomach and ass up just a bit.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Megumi will subconsciously rub on his dick through his pants and bite his lips while doing so, looking at your perfect ass, knowing it was made for him and thinking why his cock ain't in it by now.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) You can't blame him when he rips into your clothing and shoves inches in your clenching cunt unexpectedly. Or when he shoves his face under your body and laps at your wet cunt and lets it drip everywhere like a starving dog.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) You can't blame him when he cums in his pants at the sight, especially when whatever you're doing causes you to shake your hips a bit. Ah, how he wants you to back it up on him...

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)and when you do it on purpose it's even more obvious. Your wiggling and squirming, giving him little horny looks and arching your back even more. He'll warn you to stop before he gets out of hand, but that's what you want from him. You watch him touch himself and he doesn't even know he's doing it, small moans passing his lips before he cums in his pants at the sight alone.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) after all the teasing and watching, he'll be in your thighs and panting while he shoves your head in the pillow, pumping your full of cock.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Megumi loves when you beg and moan out, lifting your head from the pillow and begging him to slow down when you were the one who was wanting his dick to abuse your hole and stuff his cum deep inside. "G-Gumi~ slow-slow down, ah, fuck!" You grip the sheets below you as your legs sore from supporting your lifted ass up for far too long, shaking and quivering just like your lips.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) But do you really want what you say? Because not matter how bad Megumi is moaning and growling behind you, he feels your tight, warm walls squeezing him in and holding his dick hostage. How can he leave this pussy arching? You asked for this with the way your ass was raised like that. He doesn't even say anything but shoves your head right back into the pillow and keeps your moans and pleases drowned out.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) He throws his head back before pumping another load of steaming cum inside you as it leaks down your thighs and onto the sheets. You whine into the sheets, tears running down your soft and red flushed cheeks. Megumi only keep shoving his dick in even if his hips hurting from rolling them into you. He just needs to have your ass like this for him, evidence of back shots all on your body and loads of his seed leaving your abused hole.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) And he gets even more feral in between you're legs. It doesn't matter what pose it is, but it's most likely your ass raised up like it was and his head under, he'll bully his fingers inside your hole and lap his tongue over your throbbing clit.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Doesn't matter if he struggles to breath, doesn't matter if your juices get all over his face, in his hair, fuck that. It matter to taste you and, occasionally, slap you ass from under.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) and don't even think about begging him to stop spitting on it and sucking on your clit, he can't even hear you over the wet squelching sounds and his moans of pleasure when he free hand beat his cock. And even if he could hear your pathetic lies of wanting no more of it, he wouldn't dare stop.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) you can squeeze your thighs around him all you want and drown him in your slick, but he won't move.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Your eyes loll in the back of your eyes and your vision blues until you can't even see the show in front of you that you were watching. Watching it before Megumi forcefully lifted your ass up even more before getting his head under you and pulling down you panties to see your slutty pussy.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) before you even processed anything, his tongue is at work and two fingers pressing in and thrusting before stopping to curl on your G-spot. You already cummed twice from his work and if you cum again you don't know how you'll react to the burning pleasure. Your words slur out when you raise you head up. "Meg-megumi, Megumi... Enough, s' much..." You manage to whimper out.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) the way you beg makes him cast some pity on you until he remembers how tempting you were being to him. He roll his eyes before slurping louder to help ignore your stupid pleads. You groan before he jams another finger inside you, three fingers spreading inside you before flicking around, matching the pace his tongue rolled circles on your used clit.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) and when you cum again, he moves his hand from stroking himself and presses your pussy in his more by pushing you down from that slutty, sexy arch of you back that started this all. You cum a mess on him, squirting it all on his collar and chin as it drips. It brings and off pleased feeling it him and makes him want to removes his finger and shove his dick balls deep inside you.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Just imagine how fucked out you are after and he just up and leave like a jerk. But it's you who was a jerk for teasing him so make and watching him masturbate, not making any attempts to please him.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) but he'll come back and clean you up, occasionally scolding you for your horny actions even if he was the one slutting you out.

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Just watch how you lay yourself down on your stomach... Because if he even gets a glance, his cock will spring up so fast and he'll be in between your legs, head or cock, and chase his orgasm and making you cum until it burns.

#jjk x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader smut #megumi fushiguro fanfic #KAIZYNOFSICKNESS #Megumi smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #Jujutsu kaisen #Jjk #fushiguro megumi #pussy drunk

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forhappysake · 2 months

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"Because I love you."

A/N - Guys I'm really into these sappy pieces recently. Pls feel free to send requests for something else if inspired. Also, I might be doing a pt.3 to Teach Me at some point, I just have to pick where the story is going.

Summary - A showdown with an unsub leaves you in the hospital. Spencer can't help but feel guilty. Could almost losing you push him to confess his love? (spoilers: yes it does)

Warnings - spencer x reader, BAU level violence, some angst on Spencer's part, fluff, and a love confession

You stared down at your hands, battered and bloodied from your futile attempts to fight back. Caught off guard during an interview with a man who was only supposed to be an eye witness, not the unsub himself, forced you to fight for your life. By the time the neighbors heard the scuffle and called the local police to come to your rescue, you figured you looked like you’d been through seven rounds of an MMA fight. Your head ached, your eye was swollen shut, and you nearly cried in agony with every breath as you were certain you’d broken a rib.

After a tense standoff with the local police, the unsub was in custody, leaving you on the floor with your many wounds. You managed to stand yourself up and walk out the door to the waiting ambulance, only to collapse into the EMT’s arms. You felt yourself being loaded in the back of the vehicle as they started an IV. As consciousness drifted away from you, you couldn’t help but wonder where your team was.

***

You awoke in the hospital to the steady sound of your heart monitor beeping and muffled conversation from outside your room. Your bloodied clothes had been traded in for a hospital gown at some point, and your midsection was bound tightly with some sort of bandages, you assumed to keep your rib in place. You managed to open your good eye in an attempt to find the source of those muffled voices. Your eyes landed on Emily and JJ speaking in the corner of the room, voices hushed.

“He can’t blame himself. None of us saw this coming,” Emily said, her voice stern but laced with concern.

JJ shook her head. “He feels terrible, Emily. I’ve seen him come in and out of here crying three times in the last two hours. He rarely cries.”

Who could they be talking about?

Emily looked at the floor in silence, trying to formulate a reply. JJ cleared her voice to speak again. “They’re partners, Emily,” JJ said, “Of course he’s going to blame himself.”

Spencer.

Deciding you’d had enough of eavesdropping, you did your best to sit up, only to let out a whimper when a sharp pain pierced your side. JJ and Emily turned to face you, surprised looks on both their faces.

“Hey, just lay back,” JJ encouraged. She rushed to the bedside, placing a soothing hand on your arm.

“How long have I been asleep?” you asked.

Emily shook her head, “Only twelve hours, which isn’t very much considering what you’ve been through. I’ll tell the doctors you need another IV and some pain medication.”

As she turned for the door, you shook your head, “Emily, wait.”

Emily turned to face you, coming to stand at the foot of your bed. “What is it?”

“Where’s Spencer?” you asked. Emily looked to JJ, the two of them sharing a knowing glance. You and Spencer had always been close, as partners and friends.

“He’s been going back and forth between pacing the parking lot and the lobby for hours. I can’t imagine how many steps he’s taken,” Emily joked. “I’ll go get him for you.” With that, she turned and left the room, leaving you and JJ to catch up on what you’d missed in the last few hours.

JJ explained what happened after you’d passed out: how the unsub was in custody, finding another victim in his basement, and the team realizing that they’d sent you out to interview the lunatic on your own. “We just thought he was going to give you some information about the case. We had no reason to think that he was the one who-”

You shook your head, holding up a hand to stop her. “I didn’t think so either. It’s why I agreed to go alone. Nobody’s at fault.”

JJ nodded, a solemn look on her face. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. We were all so worried once we connected the dots. I was telling Emily - I haven’t seen Spencer so stressed in years.”

As if on cue, both you and JJ turned to the sound of rushed footsteps coming down the hallway. Spencer’s tall frame was running (no, sprinting) down the hospital corridor. You felt a small smile tug at the corner of your lips as he burst into the room, hair danging in front of his eyes and clearly out of breath.

He approached your bedside, leaning down so he could be face-to-face with you. You could only see him with one good eye, but you did your best to smile to show him that you were doing alright. You brought a hand to his face, pushing the fallen strands of hair out of his eyes so you could see him more clearly. “Hello to you too,” you joked.

“Y/N-” Spencer started, the tears quickly gathering in his eyes, “I’m so sorry. I should’ve gone with you. I should have known that-”

“That the guy who called into the tipline was actually the unsub? Spencer, be logical. None of us knew. I was just telling JJ, nobody is at fault.”

A single tear fell down his cheek as he examined your injuries. With each scratch and bruise he found, he felt another crack forming in his heart. He hadn’t protected you. Wasn’t that what he was supposed to do? He was your partner. Your best friend. He loved you, that he knew. He’d forced that love to be as platonic as he could make it, trying to avoid ruining your perfect friendship. It was moments like this that made that more difficult than ever, as he tried to reckon with his love and his guilt.

Your bruised hand was still cradling his face. He could feel the bandages against his stubble, and he cursed himself again. It was only then that the other presence in the room became known to him. JJ stood on the other side of the bed, another knowing smile gently painting her lips. Spencer knew what he had to do. JJ knew what Spencer had to do. He looked at her, his eyes subtly asking her to leave the two of you alone. JJ took the hint with a small nod, leaving the room without another word as you and Spencer continued to examine each other.

“So, JJ’s filled me in on what I missed,” I said, breaking the silence. “Sounds like a pretty exciting half day,” I joked.

Spencer shook his head, pulling away from your hand. He didn’t go far, though, intertwining his own with yours as he leaned back from the bed. “I was worried sick,” he said.

“I can tell, Spence,” you said, trying to prop yourself up with your pillow. “You really shouldn’t have been. You know I always come out of these things relatively unscathed.” He raised an eyebrow at your statement, taking in your swollen and bruised features. “Well… maybe not unscathed. Alive, at least,” you quipped.

An eerie silence fell over the room. You could feel the tension increase as the gears turned in his head.

“But what if you don’t someday?” he whispered, his voice far away. You looked over at him, his eyes fixed on your heart monitor and the gentle green lines rising and falling accompanied by the signature beep-beep-beeping.

You squeezed his hand in an attempt to bring him back down to Earth. “I’ll always come back, Spencer. It’s what you and I do. We come back alive for each other.”

The tears that had pooled in his eyes earlier spilled over his cheeks as he let out a small whimper. He leaned down, gently wrapping his arms around you as he wept. “Hey, it’s okay Spencer,” you tried to calm him.

“No, it’s not. It-it’s not because,” he trailed off. You could still feel his shoulders shaking as he cried.

“Why, Spencer?” you asked once more. “Please, you can tell me anything.”

Suddenly his sobs slowed. He pulled back from your embrace, taking in your features. Bruised and battered as you were, you were the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. He felt like his heart was going to explode. Before his brain could catch up with his mouth, the words came tumbling out. “Because I love you,” he said simply.

Your jaw dropped open at his words. While you should’ve seen this coming, nothing could prepare you for the way your heart jumped. If it wasn’t evident from the expression on your face, the heart monitor picked up its beeping, nearly doubling its pace. The sound wasn’t lost on Spencer, who frantically looked at the screen.

“Oh no,” he mumbled, quickly walking to the monitor. “Did I upset you? I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’ve just felt this way for so long and if I keep pretending like I don’t-”

“Spencer,” you cut him off, his eyes meeting yours for the first time in minutes. “I love you too.”

The look on his face was priceless, and you wished you could have taken a picture, but you did your best to engrave it on your brain forever. His brown, teary eyes brightened in a moment, a glimmer of hope shining from within. “You do?” he asked.

You laughed, allowing your head to fall back on the pillow behind you. “Spencer, I volunteer to work with you during nearly every case. We split a room every week. I only wished that you’d said this sooner so we could’ve split the bed, too.”

He stared at you in shock. The tears in his eyes long forgotten as a smile crept on his face.

A soft laugh left his mouth as he leaned down to you once more, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, careful to avoid any injured area. “Well, I promise that next time we can,” he said. “And,” he started once more, “I’m never letting you go anywhere by yourself again.”

You smiled up at him, running your fingers over his own. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

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thefreakandthehair · 10 months

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a little fluff for @starrystevie's birthday! hope it's the absolute best day! ✨

Eddie misses Steve.

It's equal parts cute, and maybe a little pitiful because it's only three days in Chicago for his friend's Bachelor Party, but it's already been two days and he misses Steve. Bandit digs his claws into Eddie's thigh as he makes biscuits and begs for pets, curling up comfortably next to Eddie's lap and leaving Steve's side of the couch overwhelmingly cold and empty.

"I know, kid. I know," Eddie coos, scratching their cat behind the left ear as he purrs.

He's glad that Steve had been able to get the time off from work to go, and he's glad that Steve's made friends on his recreational basketball league, and he's not jealous. At all. Not even a little bit.

... Okay, maybe he is a little bit jealous that Brandon gets to see him sweaty and gross in the June heat, running around doing whatever jock-activity they've planned in the backyard of their rented house all weekend, but who can blame him? Steve never gives him a reason to feel insecure so he knows this isn't about Steve. It's not rooted in anything even remotely related to him or their relationship— it's all about Eddie and the nasty voice in the back of his head that pulls out a bullhorn and screams not good enough on a loop.

Condensation from the beer in his free hand drips down his wrist as he rests his elbow on the arm of the couch. It's not the first time he's felt this way, and Steve himself has admitted to feeling the same way from time to time, so he knows that it'll pass. He just needs to focus on something else: DND campaign planning, sketching, writing, cracking out the ol' guitar. He could rewatch Howard the Duck for the hundredth time, or maybe even Labyrinth—

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Eddie's phone buzzes on the coffee table and he fully expects it to be Gareth or Jeff, or maybe Robin. They have plans later that night, both of them missing Steve and all. What he doesn't expect is a series of text messages and 19 photos from Steve.

How funny. It's been five years since they'd become EddieandSteve but seeing Steve's name and smiling photo on his phone sets his little hummingbird heart aflutter even still.

steve 👑: it's so goddamn hot here steve 👑: we're playing cornhole now and just threw a football around steve 👑: sweating all the beer and vodka out as a I go, that's healthy, right? don't worry, I'm drinking a shit ton of water.

Steve includes a selfie of himself, smiling closed-lipped with a baseball cap on backwards and the neck of his tee-shirt drenched in sweat. Eddie wants to lick him dry and that's a thought he'll never tell a living soul, probably not even Steve. No, no definitely not Steve. He'll never live that one down.

steve 👑: oh, and fishing was good! we made some bets on who could catch the most and then who could catch the biggest. I tied for first place for the biggest and I caught 17. brandon got 20 so he won that bet. I'm only letting it go because it's his bachelor party lmao

Eddie swipes to the next photo, one of Steve and Brandon holding their two biggest catches. Steve's sunglasses are sliding down his nose, no doubt from the sun warming his glistening skin, and he's smiling wide against the railing of a boat. As much as he misses him, Eddie can't help but mirror his smile. Call him lovesick or 'down bad', as Robin says, but seeing Steve happy makes him happy.

He continues swiping and reading the little blurb attached to each photo, some of which don't even include Steve but Eddie appreciates them all the same. They don't include Steve, but it feels a lot like Steve trying include Eddie in the weekend. The last picture is one of the entire group, all dozen or so guys lined up on the ship. Brandon stands in the center surrounded by the rest of the group with Steve shuffled in no meaningful spot but to Eddie, Steve is the center of every photo, every moment, everything.

Eddie starts to type a response when his phone dings again. This time, Steve sends a voice message and Eddie presses play so quickly, he nearly knocks poor Bandit off his lap.

Hey, takin' a break from cornhole. I won, by the way, had to make up for losing to Brandon in the fishing bet.

Steve laughs and Eddie's stomach flips. Robin's right. He's down very, very bad for this man.

But I just uh, I miss you, and I know maybe that's sorta lame but I do. The party's great and all, but I can't wait to get back home tomorrow. Tell the kid I said hi. I love you, Ed.

He replays it a few times and shamelessly taps Keep so it doesn't disappear before sending his own voice message.

It's no more lame than me sitting here with Bandit sharing how much we miss you, so you get a pass. I mean, you get a pass on everything all the time, but don't let that go to your pretty head, okay? I'm so fucking glad you're having fun and sowing your jocky oats, but selfishly, I can't wait for you to get home. I'll make it worth your while.

He huffs air through his nose and laughs low in his throat.

Oh, and Robin's coming by in a little bit so I'm gonna grab a bottle of wine. Don't be surprised if you get a FaceTime call later. I love you too, Stevie. So goddamn much.

Eddie sure does miss Steve, but it stings a little less knowing that Steve misses him, too.

#steddie #steddie fanfiction #steddie fanfic #steddie fic #steddie ficlets #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things ficlets #st fic #st ficlet #myblurbs #myfic #alcohol cw #eddie and robin do indeed facetime steve later a little wine drunk and steve obviously answers immediately #he misses his boyfriend and his best friend so fucking much #he gets to pass the phone around a little bit and introduce everyone #proudly (and a little drunkenly) proclaiming how much he loves his two favorite people #they play two truths and a lie over facetime with the rest of the bachelor party #when steve gets home the next day eddie and robin get standing invites to everything forever <3333 #no one look at me this idea came from nowhere and i know it's not any of my wips BUT the worms drive the bus

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riediaries · 3 months

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your friend's getting married and you were invited. the there of you, actually. you, satoru, and your daughter.

when you met her and her soon-to-be husband, all they could do was to coo and entertain your daughter. because of their excitement, they decided that your daughter will be one of the flower girls.

"babe, don't feed her too much, she might end up sleeping later." you tap his arm as he feds her milk from the bottle.

while waiting for the event to start, you are outside of the church, sitting on one of the benches. satoru's busy catering every whims and wants of your daughter while you constantly check the belongings on the side.

milk, check. extra clothes for the baby, check, wipes, check, etc.

just a moment ago, they dressed up your daughter in a cute baby blue dress that matched her eyes. all eyes were on her, definitely standing out from rest of the guests. and embarrassing to say, she also outshines the bride and groom.

but you can't blame your child having satoru gojo as her father. satoru's full name is actually satoru 'outshines everyone' gojo.

he's famous. start it from the sorcerer world and even in the normal world, where people can't see or detect any curses. he has an amazing record of countless requests, marriage included as a leader of the clan, as a special grade, and a jujutsu technical college teacher.

so, it's not that your daughter who takes upon the known man will be able to make her way out from the crowded heart eyes of normal people.

she got it from her daddy.

"she's hungry, sweetheart."

"yes, i know. but just for you information, she'll be walking to the aisle as a flower girl later.."

satoru kisses you sweetly on your cheek. "yes, yes. i know, mommy. i'll take care of it if she ends up falling asleep, mhm?"

"take care of it, my ass."

satoru just laughs it off. "i promise."

and yes. he took care of it, safely to say, but... you didn't expect your husband to be the one walking in the aisle instead of your daughter as the flower girl.

your sweet daughter in blue is sleeping while she was being carried by her father using an arm. her face was buried on her father's neck and her arms also snaked around his neck.

his right arm supporting her bum while his right hand's holding the basket of flower. the other free hand was picking a pinch of flower petals from the basket and throwing it onto the sides.

this scene alone beat the supposed sweet moment of the groom and the bride and captured the warm hearts of everyone present in the hall.

"aww.. what a cute father and daughter."

"he's handsome.."

"she's so cute. she's drooling cutely!"

"what a handsome father."

"i know, right?!"

you mentally slapped the back of your head for having a crazy husband like him.

you carefully turn your head to look at the reactions of the people of the day. you sigh in relief when they where laughing and murmuring something that them only hears.

fortunately, your friend looks at you and gave you a thumbs up. she then mouths that they were cute.

chuckling at your friend's comment, you turn your attention back to your little family walking on the red carpet.

as he was about to pass your line, he then took his time carefully to slow down his pace and give you a flying kiss in which you slapped away.

the guests, including the bride and groom, laughs at the scene unfolding before them.

"did you just see that?"

"that's hilarious, bro."

"what a funny family!"

"hahaha!"

after all that walking, he finally sat down beside me with a sigh. "see? i took care of it, babe."

"but you gathered lots of attention." you take out your handkerchief and wiped the sweat on the corner of his temple.

"is that jealousy i hear?" he grins teasingly and you pushed the handkerchief on his face a little harder.

"o-ouch.. i was just kidding." he chuckles quitely.

your little back and fort moment was interrupted by your daughter waking up from her sleep.

"m-mhm.." she raises her head from his neck as she yawn cutely.

"mommy.." she starts to whine, making you immediately get her from satoru.

"yes, baby? mommy's here.." you pepper her just woke up state face with some soft kisses.

she then glances around and her attention goes to her empty basket that's supposed to have lots of flower petals. thanks to your husband, it's now empty and gone.

she eyes her father and then the basket and her face scrunches up, building up her emotions inside as she cry.

you and satoru winces at the sounds of wailing inside the hall so you immediately rushes outside to calm your baby down, slightly panicking inside as you excuse yourself from the guests and the bride.

you can only sigh that you're daughter's crying isn't loud at the moment because satoru's busily shushes her in which she obeys slowly.

you mouth 'sorry' and she nods patiently, still continuing the moment of her once in a lifetime.

and that's how your family grabbed, once again, attention from guests on the event that you did not even host.

saw this on tiktok and wrote about it. it was so cute. i was giggling while i was watching it.

#rie.writes #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fluff #girl dad gojo

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s1m0nth3swag · 1 month

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Francis Mosses Headcannons <3

AUTHORS NOTE; Your honor I love him. Just some silly Headcannons because the brainrot is too real (also my last post about him did really well and I was shocked about it oops)

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; SFW and NSFW Headcannons, no shipping headcannons, some relationship headcannons but mostly just general things about Francis (NSFW is really big on relationship headcannons tho), MY headcannons for him, not particularly fitting into the time of That's not my neighbor but I couldn't be bothered

SFW;

Ever since starting his job as Milkman, he has started to somewhat dislike milk. Rarely ever has any at home unless he needs it to cook or bake something.

REALLY good at cooking/ baking, he lives alone so obviously he has to take care of it himself and he dislikes ordering food since he'll have to talk to someone so he just taught himself to cook/ bake.

I feel like he has some hobbies but rarely ever has the time to work on them, I feel like he's into miniature or something like that. Definitely likes hobbies that include being calm and concentrated over others.

Almost never lets anyone into his home, only if it's his partner or a very close friend (or family).

Contrary to popular belief, Francis has quite a few friends - mostly because they share his hobbies (I feel like he's the type to yap about his hobbies if someone is interested in them).

He doesn't particularly like his job, but also doesn't hate it. I think he liked it at the beginning, but now it's just tiring and boring (like honestly, being a milkman doesn't sound really thrilling, can't blame him for being tired of it).

Francis most definetly has at some point bought a plushie with the thought of gifting it to someone but ended up liking it so much that he kept it (when having someone over he definitely hides it in a corner of his bedroom to not get embarrassed).

He's the type to rarely listen to music, because when he comes home from work he's too tired and probably just passes out on his bed and on his free days he likes to just do his things in silence since it's more calming to him than listening to music while doing them.

When he does listen to music, he prefers calmer tones, maybe even music without any lyrics (or soft spoken ones).

He definetly falls asleep on the couch while watching TV. The type to pass out the second he put on some random show. Try waking him up, you won't be able to. Give him his two hour power nap.

NSFW;

BIIIIG Whiner and whimperer. Even when jerking off or the likes, he's super vocal about it. I think he's not the type to jerk off often, when he does it's because he has too much pressure built up. He's 100% loud about it though. Full on groaning and moaning if his partner were to jerk or suck him off.

He's big on praising. Always tells you you're doing good and that you're so wonderful etc.

I think he doesn't have a particularly high sex drive, but when he does get frisky (by himself or with his partner) I think he can go for multiple rounds with little to no rest. He makes up for the lack of sex drive with the amount of rounds he can go 100%.

Isn't really shy in bed unless it's a more dom/sub relationship with him being sub. I think if you told him he came too fast or that he wasn't being good for you he'd be so so embarrassed and apologise for HOURS unless you shut him up.

Loves marking. Give him hickeys, bitemarks, anything, he'll love it. Especially if you get that little spot on his neck that is just barely hid by his work uniform.

All for now because I need to keep some for the next posts :)

#francis mosses #francis mosses x you #headcanon #thats not my neighbor #thats not my neighbor headcanons #francis mosses headcanons #milkman that's not my neighbor

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unseededtoast · 6 months

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I’ve Got My Eye On You | Spencer Reid x F! Reader

Summary: A piece of Spencer Reid died the day Tobias Hankle kidnapped and tortured him. Seeing your friend in desperate need of help, you take it upon yourself to keep an eye on him and help him every step of the way, no matter how hard those steps may be. Inspired by “Say Yes To Heaven” by Lana Del Rey.

Content warnings: mention/discussion of addictions, narcotics references, withdrawal description.

wc: 9.3k

Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted

a/n: thank you to all who take time to read my stories. I appreciate each and everyone of you, and you all deserve the softest forehead kisses.

- - - - -

"Spencer I know what Tobias did to you, and I want you to know that I'm here for you. You're one of my closest friends and I don't want you to feel like you have to handle this on your own. It's not your fault, and what he did to you was wrong, please don't blame yourself. And please let me help you, I know you'd do the same for me. I can't lose you to this, you mean too much to me and you deserve to be free of this torment." Your throat constricts with emotion and you can't help the single tear that rolls down your cheek.

"I've tried to stop but I can't." Spencer's voice cracks through his tears, beckoning you to lift your head to meet his gaze. His eyes are tear-filled and his grip on your hands tightens. Sniffling, you nod your head, prepared to take on this challenge with him.

- - - -

A part of Spencer Reid died the day he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankle. You noticed it like day turned to night. After he had been rescued, there was a hollowness in his eyes you had never seen before. The rest of the team seemed quick to move on and it's like they almost disregarded the horrors and trauma Spencer endured.

But you were not as quick to forget, nor did you brush it under the rug. You had taken note of the needle tracks left in his arms when he was rescued, and you were keenly aware that narcotics addiction is one hell of a beast to slay. And so you took it upon yourself to keep an eye on him; you were not about to lose one of your closest friends, and it became obvious that nobody else was going to be there to support him.

As you look across the bullpen to the man who occupies your thoughts you reminisce about the Spencer you knew before the tragedy. He was bright-eyed and innocent, socially awkward but charming in his own way. And while many of those things are still true, he's changed.

You've noticed how he's taken on a much more serious tone on cases, how he's becoming more skeptical of people. And you don't miss how his fingers find their way into his pockets during stressful conversations or how he's developing a short temper. Alarm bells sound off in your head and you wonder how the others could be missing this. But you know if nobody else is going to intervene and help him, then you will.

Spencer turns around with papers in his hands and you avert your gaze quickly, not wanting to be caught staring at him. The clock lets you know it's time to go home and the other team members head out the door with farewells. You politely say your goodbyes to them but hang back intentionally.

The bullpen is occupied only by you and Spencer now. It's not unusual for either of you to work over, but this time you're not staying for the paperwork. While Spencer wraps up his work you feign busyness, you don't want him to become skeptical of you. This plan had been mulling over in your mind for a week now, and you've just now been able to find the courage to act on it.

Twenty minutes pass before you see Spencer start wrapping up his final report, and so you casually begin packing up as well. What a coincidence that you two finished at the same time. You stand from your chair and shrug your coat on, preparing for the crisp air that awaits you outside.

"Hey, if you want I can give you a ride home. The buses stopped an hour ago and it's pretty cold out." You softly break the silence between the two of you. Spencer stops in his tracks and you see the conflict on his face. You hope he takes you up on your offer, your entire plan kind of hinges on it. After a few fleeting moments of contemplation, he nods his head.

"Sure, that would be nice. Thank you." He gives you a small smile and you let out a breath you were unaware of holding. The two of you walk side by side out of the building and into the cold air, where your breath turns to white clouds.

"How'd your reports go?" You ask, trying to keep a conversation flowing. Your stomach turns in nervousness and you remind yourself of what's at stake so as to not back out of your plan for fear of rejection or failure.

"They went okay." His answer is too short for your liking. As you buckle your seatbelt you notice how his hand finds it way into his coat pocket. Your heart drops, but you remain casual as you start driving towards his apartment.

"So do you actually think we're going to get a full weekend off?" So far your plan is going almost as well as you had hoped, and you count down the minutes before you'll arrive at Spencer's building. He sighs in the seat next to you,

"Maybe. I think I heard JJ and Hotch talk about a no-contact weekend unless it's an absolute emergency." He turns his head to look out of the window and you swallow your nerves. You only hope that he's not trying to read your body language.

"So any fun plans this weekend then?" You come to a stop at a light and look over to Spencer. From the soft glow of the street lamp you see how tired he looks, and your heart aches for your friend.

"No. You?" His answer is simpler than the ones he usually gives you; conciseness is also a new development it seems.

"Nothing particularly fun." You honestly answer before pulling up to the curb next to his apartment. Pushing back all doubts that float in your mind, you know the time has come and only hope that things turn out well.

Spencer goes to reach for the door handle, uttering a thank you, but you reach out and grab his bicep to keep him in the car for just a few more moments. Your heart thumps in your chest as he settles back into the seat and looks at you with curiosity. Taking a deep breath, you decide to just rip the bandaid off and be straightforward with him.

"Spencer. There's something I want to talk to you about." Your eyes meet his, faces only illuminated faintly from the street.

"What is it?" There's no trace of skepticism in his voice and it gives you a boost of hopefulness. So far his short temper hasn't effected your relationship with him, but you know full well that this conversation could change that.

You and Spencer had developed a good friendship over the years. The two of you were hired around the same time and so it was easy to bond over being the newbies on the team. And after a few years the two of you had been able to build a strong bond based on trust and respect; he was one of the few people you know you can count on. You trust him with your life and now you hope he trusts you with his.

Keeping a gentle hand on his arm, you want him to know that what you're about to say is coming from a place of love.

"You know I care about you, right?" You start off your rehearsed lines, careful to pick your wording just right so that he doesn't feel attacked or judged. His head nods almost instantly.

"Of course." He says, and you see the authenticity clearly in his eyes. But they're not the eyes you've come to know, you see within them the anguish he's going through.

Though you had practiced these words several times over the week, saying them out loud makes this situation all too real for you. The reality hits you like a brick wall that if Spencer doesn't get some help, his life may be on the line.

Spencer's jaw sets tightly and you see his eyes follow the tear down your cheek. Your lower lip quivers as you try to keep your composure, but once you see his jaw waver, your façade cracks. Soon enough, you and Spencer are crying together, both of you gripping onto each other's hands like a lifeline.

His hands shake as they grab onto yours, enveloping them completely. You know the tremors aren't from nerves, and it causes you to cry harder. All you want is for him to be free of this addiction.

"You don't have to do it alone. I'm right here with you, every step of the way." You rest your hand on his cheek, letting him know that your words are true. And though you have a long road ahead of you, you know you'd walk across fiery coals every second of your life for him.

- - - - -

The road to recovery is one full of bumps, twists, and turns. You knew that this would be difficult, but you had severely underestimated just how challenging it was going to get.

As soon as Spencer had accepted your offer of help, you had done everything you could to educate yourself about narcotics addiction and how to support someone who is seeking recovery. An interesting fact you had come across was that the withdrawal symptoms for Dilaudid addiction typically cease quicker than other drug withdrawals, but they're more intense. And this had never been clearer than it is right now.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" Your hand brushes hair out of Spencer's eyes as he lays on the couch, drenched in sweat with shaking hands.

He had been running a fever for a few hours now, and developed nausea and anxiety recently; all normal and expected symptoms but that didn't mean they were easy to handle.

"Some space." He snaps back quickly, and you try hard not to take it personally. Irritability is also an unfortunate side effect of withdrawal.

With a sigh, you back away from him and walk over to the window, which has frosted over with fresh snow. Due to the holiday season, Hotch gave everyone two weeks off to celebrate Christmas and also New Year. Spencer had asked you to stay with him during these two weeks so that he could quit, and of course you said yes.

It's not like you had family plans anyway, the team is more of your family than blood relatives at this point. And before you arrived at Spencer's you had delivered gifts to the rest of the team, peddling a story of how you're going on a vacation during the break, so that they don't contact you. And how you wished you were on a tropical island sipping a fruity drink somewhere instead of watching your best friend writhe in pain.

Turning your head slightly to look over at him, you see his trembling hands ball themselves into fists over and over again, a likely coping mechanism for the torment he's experiencing. From the research you've done, you know the worst is yet to come.

- - - - -

Hours later, in the middle of the night, you hear Spencer make his way to the bathroom. Seconds later you hear him get sick and you check the watch on your wrist. According to your estimates, he's likely hitting the peak of withdrawal symptoms.

Sighing and rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you cautiously enter his room and see the bathroom light on. Spencer's hunched over the toilet, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat that's dripping down his temple. Upon hearing your arrival, he looks over to you in the doorway and you've never seen a more pleading look.

Instead of just standing and staring, you move to run cold water over a cloth and place it on the back of his neck. Another wave of sickness comes over him, and you kneel beside him, rubbing circles on his back to try and bring some sort of comfort to him.

After the nausea has ceased, he collapses back against the wall. You take the cloth from around his neck and gingerly wipe away the sweat and clean up around his mouth.

"It's okay Spence, you're doing great. I'm proud of you." You whisper and place a kiss to his forehead, and you mean every single word.

You sit beside him and his clammy hand finds yours, and he holds it tight. Your eyes travel up his arm, seeing the faint marks from previous needle injection and you hope that they fade quickly, he doesn't need a constant reminder.

"Did you get rid of it?" He asks suddenly, startling you out of you focus. His head is tipped back against the wall and his eyes are closed.

"I got rid of it all. Nothing is left here." You confirm to him with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

Earlier when you arrived the first step was for you to destroy the vial of Dilaudid and all the needles he had so that when this stage of withdrawal came around he wouldn't be able to give into the intense cravings.

"I need it." He says, eyes opening and staring into yours. Spencer's eyes are glazed over and watery. You shake your head, encouraging him to keep going.

"No, you don't need it. This is the peak of the withdrawal Spence. A few more hours and things will get easier." You recite the information you remember from your research.

As if he's suddenly disgusted with you, he drops your hand and looks away, pushing his own hair out of his face. His jaw tenses and his foot starts tapping against the floor.

"Get out of here." His tone is harsh, and your heart drops, but you listen to him.

Without a word, you leave his bedroom and close the door behind you. You know that the withdrawal is wreaking havoc on his mind and body, but it's hard to watch and hear your best friend behave so differently.

You go to take a seat in his couch, and reminisce on the good times the two of you shared here. There were weekend nights spent completing puzzles and making cookies together, and other times you just lounged around while he read. The connection you two shared was an easy going one, there were never any expectations and you two were just content with each other's company.

You can't wait to have those nights back, and you know they may not happen for a while. And that's okay, as long as Spencer was getting better that's more than you can ask for.

- - - - -

One week had passed and thankfully Spencer's condition improved greatly. His hands no longer tremble, he doesn't break out into cold sweats anymore, and his personality is beginning to shine through again. Sure, there are still some bouts of anxiety and irritability, but overall you couldn't be happier with his progress.

While you wait for him to get up for the day, you make him some pancakes and bacon. His appetite had also made a reappearance. The maple smell wafts throughout his apartment and makes your tummy grumble.

The sound of Spencer's bedroom door opening cues you to turn on the coffee pot, so that he can have some fresh coffee with his breakfast. You place his favorite mug beside the pot and flip the bacon, estimating another two minutes before everything is ready.

"Good morning." Spencer's raspy morning voice says from behind you. He walks around you, mindlessly placing a hand on your waist as he squeezes past you to get to the coffee pot.

The warmth of his fingers on your waist in the cool air of the apartment sends a wave of heat through you before taking residence in your cheeks. Spencer had touched you a hundred times before, but his touch had never elicited a response from your body like this before.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?" You ask, trying to distract yourself from whatever it was your body was doing.

After pouring steaming hot coffee into his mug and dumping a small ton of sugar into it, he leans back against the counter. Unable to help yourself, you glance over at him and see his unruly hair and take note that he's decided to wear his glasses today. Another wave of warmth radiates through you.

"Good, I didn't wake up once throughout the night." He says with a small smile, sipping his coffee. You match his smile, happy to hear that he's made another improvement.

You turn the burners off on the stove and motion for him to help himself. He sets his mug down on the counter and you turn to get yourself ready for the day. Not that you're going anywhere, you just prefer to feel a little put together. Plus, this gives you a reason to get away from Spencer's observant eyes. What if he noticed something was weird with you this morning?

Mind occupied with dissecting your own feelings, you manage to toss on a sweater and some comfortable sweats, not even bothering to see if they match or not. No, your brain is too wrapped up in decoding why your body had reacted the way it did to Spencer's touch.

In all the years you two had been friends, he had touched you like that before to get past you, he had held your hand after particularly hard cases so you could fall asleep on the jet, and yet none of those times made you feel like he just had in the kitchen. So what exactly had changed?

The question plays itself over and over in your mind as you rejoin him at the dining table for breakfast. Only the soft ticking of the clock and the occasional scrape of a fork across a plate can be heard. It's typical for the two of you to share your mornings relatively peacefully, letting each other wake up for the day. It's a calm routine, one you know you'll miss after this is all over.

"Are you ready to get back to work next week?" Spencer breaks the silence, finishing off his bacon.

"Yes and no. I'll miss the free time, but it'll feel good to get back out there. What about you?" You admit that you're not completely ready to get back into the swing of things, you've found that you quite enjoy spending your days with Spencer.

"I'm just ready to be back to myself." He says, a soft smile on his face. You nod knowingly,

"You will be, Spence." You fight the urge to reach across the table for his hand, afraid of how your body may betray you again, so instead, you offer him your most genuine gaze. But it hardly conveys the sincerity you want it to.

"I still crave it, and I know that once I'm back out there I'll want it even more." He tells you with a sigh. Unfortunately, craving the drug of choice is a lasting side effect, especially for those experiencing stress.

"That may be true but you've worked so hard to get here. And I'll be there for you, never forget that. If it ever feels like it's too much, come to me and we'll work through it. I promise." Spencer's eyes look slightly enlarged from his glasses, and it only allows you to see their beauty enhanced; it's like you could spend hours swimming in them.

"I know, thank you." His voice drops to a whisper, and you know he means it. Spencer has never been very good at expressing his feelings or emotions, but you know him well enough to understand the depth of his sentiment.

The two of you spend the rest of the day together tangled in blankets to keep warm. Spencer chooses to read while you only pretend to read, your focus is stuck on Spencer for some odd reason. Your back is up against the couch's armrest which gives you a clear view of Spencer overtop the book you're "reading".

You can't help but to admire the delicate crease in between his eyes as he scans the words on the page, or appreciate the soft curl of his hair that falls to his shoulders. Of course these are all things you had noticed before, but it's like you're seeing them in a new light, like it's all new. An unfamiliar feeling blooms within you but you're unable to put a finger on it.

You're sure it's nothing more than caring for you friend. Right?

- - - - -

The first day back to the office comes sooner than you would've liked. Last night you spent the night alone in your own apartment, just like any other night, except it felt oddly empty and cold. And this morning when you woke, you had almost expected to see Spencer sitting at your dining room table with a cup of hot coffee in his hands. But instead you were met with a barren table, the sweet smell of coffee nowhere to be found.

When you reach the office building you're thankful for the distraction it offers. Everyone is in good spirits from the extended break, and even you find yourself excited to get on another case. The team congregates in the briefing room, and Spencer strolls in at the last second and takes a seat next to you like always.

You turn to greet him and notice the dark circles underneath his eyes and your heart drops to your stomach. It's only been one night alone, surely he didn't give into temptation. But to your relief, he gives you a sly head shake and a thumbs up, as if he could read your mind. Perhaps he also didn't sleep well last night.

JJ presents the case as usual, and Hotch tells the team to be wheels up in thirty. You know you'll have to review the case file on the jet, your mind was anywhere except the case and you hope that you're able to get your head in the game before the team lands and starts working the case.

- - - - -

It seems your wishes for a clear head go unanswered. The team had successfully caught the unsub, but you felt guilty because you know you were distracted the entire time. Sure, you helped out where you could and still did your job, but you know that your analyses were not as thorough as usual.

Instead of being fully dedicated to the case, you kept glancing over to Spencer every few minutes and found your thoughts seemingly to revolve around him. Sometimes he would see you looking and other times not. But when he did catch your eye, a bundle of nerves within your stomach would ignite themselves, leading you further into your mystery.

There's just no good reason for you to be reacting like that to something as simple as his gaze. It's perplexing you, a puzzle you can't quite seem to put together. Nothing had changed between you two, there's no clear reason why you would begin having these feelings.

"Meeting for drinks tonight?" Garcia walks into the bullpen as the team arrives back, in a chipper mood as always.

You wait to see how others answer, not particularly in the mood to go. You would much rather go back home in silent contemplation or maybe see if Spencer wanted company. Seeing as how bars weren't really your scene, it was common for you and Spencer to find something else to do together. Usually you two would end up agreeing to a movie or going for dinner somewhere.

"Sure." Morgan answers first, slinging his jacket over his shoulders. Emily and JJ agree as well and you watch as Penelope waltzes over to Spencer.

"How about you my favorite resident genius?" She nudges him with her shoulder. As if on instinct, he looks over to you. You know his mind is going down the same path yours is, deciding whether or not to go. To answer his silent request, you simply shrug your shoulders.

"Uh, yeah sure." He eventually answers, loosening the tie around his neck. A part of you is grateful he said yes, you know this will give you plenty of opportunities to distract your mind.

The team enters a familiar bar, providing some comfort though the environment is anything but tranquil. Everyone takes a seat around a table, chattering about the case and everything else that comes to mind.

"What's up with you tonight?" Morgan asks, nudging your arm. With a sigh, you shake your head and look at the drink swirling in your glass.

"I don't know. I guess I just feel a little off." You admit, but fall short of the whole truth. You should've known, working with profilers, that one of them was bound to pick up on your unusual behavior. Giving you a knowing nod, Morgan brings you in for a side hug,

"Happens to the best of us sometimes." He says, and you nod, knowing he's right. During your time on the team you've seen everyone experience a lull of some sort. Maybe that's what this all is, just some weird mental lull.

The rest of the night goes off without much excitement. That is, until everyone is about ready to leave. As you grab your jacket off the back of the chair you notice Morgan lean in to whisper something in Spencer's ear. You watch as their eyes flit across the bar to a woman who's staring right back at Spencer.

A nauseous feeling rises within you, but you force yourself to be quiet and watch as Spencer smiles to Morgan before crossing the bar to talk to her. In all your years of knowing Spencer, this was out of pattern behavior if you've ever seen it.

"Come on pretty girl, I think our boy is finally catching on." Morgan wraps his arms around your shoulder and guides you out of the bar. The last thing you see is the woman wrap her arms around Spencer's neck.

The walk home is so much colder and lonelier than it usually is.

- - - - -

Months later, you realize that the feelings Spencer gives you aren't going away. In fact, you think they've only become more prevalent with each brush of his fingertips and each smile he gives you. But, you've done a good job suppressing them so far for the sake of the friendship. After all, you and Spencer work closely together during cases and still keep up your routine friendship activities.

Or at least, you did up until three weeks ago.

Something happened around three weeks ago that you haven't been able to put your finger on. Spencer's been distancing himself from you little by little, but it's glaringly obvious to you. At first it was skipping a planned movie night and then it was taking a rain check for dinner at his favorite Thai place. And then during cases you'd noticed how he doesn't joke with you as much and that he almost avoids your gaze.

Sitting at your desk, you look across the bullpen and try to zone in on the conversation Spencer is having with Morgan. It seems Morgan has become Spencer's confidante of choice these days. And while you want to respect Spencer's choice, you can't help but wonder why he doesn't come to you anymore. A piece of you feels hollow without Spencer around as much as he used to be.

You considered that maybe you had simply become too attached to his presence during his detox, and that you're overthinking everything. Maybe this is all just in your head. You try to convince yourself of any other explanation, but a nagging voice in the back of your head tells you that it's something wrong with you, that he just doesn't want to share a close relationship anymore.

Later in the day, you find Morgan in the break room and decide to get some answers. As casually as you can, you join Derek in finding a snack.

"Can I ask you something?" You keep your voice quiet, and give Derek a look to let him know that this isn't one of your jokes. Standing straighter, he nods.

"Of course pretty girl." You pick at the skin around your nails before you can force yourself to say the words.

"Is Spencer okay?" You tread lightly, unsure of how much Derek is willing to give you.

"Yeah, he's fine. Why?" Derek's eyebrow quirks and you sigh, knowing you have to come clean to him or he won't let it go.

"It's just that he doesn't hang out with me much anymore and he hasn't been talking to me. We used to go out at least once a week and we always talked. I don't know if I did, or said, something." You meet Derek's eyes reluctantly but see no traces of judgment in his expression. He reaches out and puts a hand on your shoulder.

"I don't know if I'm supposed to keep this under wraps or not, but I think you deserve to know. He's been, um, putting himself out there lately." Your eyebrows scrunch together, not following what Derek is trying to say.

"Putting himself out there?" You ask for clarification but a pit of dread begins forming in your stomach. Derek licks his lips and offers you a sad smile, the pit of despair grows.

"It seems that he's becoming quite popular with the ladies." Is all Derek has to say before it sinks in. Your mouth goes dry and you suddenly lost your appetite for your snack. Pushing yourself off the countertop, you give Derek a rushed thank you before retreating back to your desk.

Spencer's sitting at his own, filling out paperwork and you can't help but to look at him in a different light. If you concentrate hard enough, you think you can see traces of bruises on his neck. They're faint enough that you wouldn't really be able to tell they're there unless you were looking for them.

Your heart hurts with the realization, you miss your friend dearly. After helping him detox you were sure that there was nothing getting between your friendship, but you guess other women seem to have won his favor.

Images of Spencer's lips on other women makes your skin crawl. This behavior just isn't like him. It's almost as if he's traded one addiction for another.

Your blood runs cold as the thought crosses your mind. In your studies of addiction during detox, you had read about addiction transference and how people who are prone to addictions can sometimes trade off. In Spencer's case it seems like he's traded the needle for sexual gratification.

While his dependence on Dilaudid was easy to pinpoint and treat, sex addiction is another beast entirely. This kind of addiction gets brushed under the rug by a lot of people, and commonly isn't seen as an issue. And truthfully, if it was anyone but Spencer, you may not have even noticed or cared. But as images of his hands on other women's bodies, his lips attached to their neck, their hands traveling his body flood your mind, you realize that you care a lot.

The realization dawns on you that you're actually feeling jealous of these faceless and nameless women.

- - - - -

Your patience is tested two weeks later, when the team is out celebrating another victory. And instead of Spencer sitting beside you or Morgan like usual, he's across the bar talking to a beautiful woman.

Through your jealousy you try to figure out when Spencer became such a social person, it's unlike the man you became friends with. Never would you have ever imagined that Spencer regularly seeks out women to spend his nights with. But here you sit, watching as he leans in and whispers something in her ear.

Your face runs hot and you tip back your glass, desperate to go numb. You had known Spencer was partaking in this lifestyle, but it's something entirely different when you're face to face with it and be forced to actually acknowledge what's happening.

"Woah that's your fourth already. You good?" Garcia asks from beside you, nursing her second drink. Ripping your gaze away from Spencer, you give Garcia a wide smile.

"Never been better." The sarcasm drips from your voice. You slip from your seat and go to the bar, your steps only slightly wobbly.

Purposely, you take a spot beside the woman Spencer's talking to, partially to eavesdrop and partially to get the bartender's attention. The woman beside you giggles insufferably at something Spencer said, causing you to tap your fingers against the bar top impatiently waiting for the bartender.

After you finally get another drink in your hand and turn to go back to the team, your eye catches Spencer's. His gemstone eyes meeting yours is enough to cause your heart to stop beating. Your lips fall apart, suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. You miss Spencer so much.

But unfortunately he doesn't keep your gaze for long, as the woman beside him runs her hands up his chest. Fighting the urge to get violent, or get sick, you give him a half-hearted smile before returning to your spot.

Perhaps you should've cherished your time with him more. Maybe you shouldn't have taken for granted your movie nights, shared dinners, or days spent underneath the same blankets. You certainly should've been more appreciative for his friendship. And now that all of that is gone you feel lost.

Drowning your sorrows with tequila, you understand that it's not just jealousy that fills you. You had actually fallen in love with your best friend. And now you're destined to watch him love other women.

You only wish it could be you.

- - - - -

"Rough night pretty boy?" Derek teases Spencer across his desk. Your eyes look over just in time to watch Spencer adjust his sweater and rub his eyes.

"Something like that." He answers, a faint blush creeping up to his cheeks. The wave of emotion that washes over you is the perfect storm of sadness, grief, and anger.

Unable to handle hearing their conversation, you abruptly get up from your desk and carry your paperwork back to Garcia's office. You know her office is like a safe haven, and truthfully, you're hoping she can brighten your dreary mood.

Knocking on her door lightly, you hear her invite you in. Like a child coming to their parents' room, you peek in before entering all the way. Screens are lit up across her desks and it looks like she's completing ten tasks at once.

"Are you busy? If this is a bad time I don't have to-"

"Nonsense, come here." She interrupts you and clears off a space for you to put your things. At least you can still count on Garcia.

You sit next to her and open the folder, half of your report already written. As you go to put pen to paper again, Penelope speaks up.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're here?" She has a knowing tone. Your pen taps against the desk a few times as you decide on what to tell her.

"I just needed a change of scenery" Your voice isn't very convincing, and you know she doesn't buy it from the look on her face.

"Okay and now the truth?" She asks, voice light yet firm. Relenting, you decide that it's not fair to yourself to keep your emotions bottled up, where they'll inevitably erupt.

"I guess it's just that, it's silly really, but I think I just miss Spencer." You attempt to downplay the severity of your feelings. But Penelope, in her typical fashion, presses you for more because she knows there's more to the story than you care to let on.

"He's right out there." She points out and you shake your head.

"Yeah but he's not him, if that makes any sense. We never hang out anymore and we rarely even talk to each other. And we used to be so close. But maybe he just outgrew me." You think out loud, fingers playing with the pen in your hand to try and distract your mind from all the racing thoughts.

"Outgrew you? Not a chance, he adores you." She says like it's a fact, but you have trouble believing it.

"Maybe he did some time ago, but he's adoring other women now. Lots of them." You can't hide the disdain in your voice. Every time you think about someone else with Spencer, it makes your blood boil. The selfish part of you wants him all to yourself, you want more shared mornings together and you crave more afternoons spent next to one another.

"Well, that may be true, but, I know him well enough to know that he still cares about you. I see the way he looks at you from across the room. Have you tried talking to him about it?" Of course Garcia would offer a logical and mature way to handle the situation. And you're thankful for her level head, because the way you want to deal with the situation involves dragging a woman by her hair out of his apartment.

"I don't even know what I would say that wouldn't make me sound like a kid who saw their friend playing with someone else at recess." You drop your pen on the desk, frustrated with your feelings. Penelope puts a hand on your shoulder, and you look up to meet her eyes.

"You've been friends for years now, I think he probably misses you too." She tells you, a soft look in her eye that lets you know she's being genuine.

"Maybe." You shrug.

"Finish your report and before you leave for the weekend talk to him." She spins around in her chair and gets back to work, allowing you to finish your report in peace.

Her words play over and over in your mind, and you realize that she has a good point. There's no way that after being friends for so long, and going through a detox together, that he just doesn't miss you either. You know Spencer well enough to know that he's a creature of habit, he likes routine; and lately he hasn't had much of one.

Feeling more like a bad friend for not checking in on him, you talk yourself into seeking him out at the end of the day. He's not responsible for your feelings, and you shouldn't have taken his actions so personally. Spencer is your friend first, and you've been neglecting your end of the friendship. Though, a voice in the back of your mind reminds you that he has as well.

Soon enough, the end of the day rolls around and you turn your report into Hotch. Thankfully Spencer is still here, collecting his things before heading out. It seems everyone else has left for the most part. With a deep breath, you swallow your pride and walk over to him.

"Hey." Your voice is meek and much weaker than you had hoped for. Startled by your presence, Spencer turns around. Your eyes meet his but trail down his neck, where there are sure signs of bruises. But this isn't about you, you try to remind yourself. This is about making sure your friend is okay.

"Hey." He greets you back, shrugging his coat over his sweater. There's an obvious tension between you two, and so you just decide to rip the bandaid off.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, making yourself keep your eyes on his face. Spencer's eyebrows crease together,

"Everything is fine, why?" He acts as if your question is coming out of left field. Finding it difficult to come out and say what you really mean, you shift your weight from foot to foot.

"It's just that we haven't really talked much lately and I just want to make sure that you're okay." You tell him truthfully.

"I'm fine." He tells you and glances down at his watch.

"Any fun weekend plans?" You ask, knowing full well that his answer could ruin your mood for the rest of the night.

"Um, yeah. I'm supposed to meet a friend tonight. But, you could come over tomorrow if you wanted to? Or we could go somewhere?" He offers, and a smile finds its way to your face.

"I'll be there tomorrow, I'll send you a text when I'm on my way." You tell him, satisfied with your plans. He gives you a quick nod before leaving the office to go meet whoever it is that he has plans with. You doubt that he even knows her name.

But you take some comfort in knowing that you'll be able to spend time with him tomorrow. And maybe, just maybe, it'll be exactly what the two of you need to smooth things out and go back to how things used to be.

- - - - -

You awake with an unusual happiness, excited to see Spencer. It's been months since the two of you actually spent any time together and you're eager to get over to his apartment to see him. Last night you had told yourself that no matter what he may be doing, that he's still one of your closest friends and that you still need to be there for him.

After picking out a nice outfit and ensuring your hair looks nice, you send him a quick text that you'll be there shortly. And of course, you never go empty handed, and so you pick up the plate of cookies you had made last night for him.

The trip over to his apartment seems to take less time than you remember, and you make your way up the stairs until you find yourself outside of his door. You knock on his door and wait for him to answer, but a minute passes and you hear no movement on the other side. Thinking that maybe he was in the bathroom or something, you wait another minute and then knock again. This time you hear movement.

The door swings open and you smile, but it quickly drops once you see who has answered the door. Her makeup is smudged on her face and she's still in the dress she probably wore last night. Feeling sickness rise in your throat, you wordlessly turn to leave.

"Hey what are you doing? Who is it?" You hear Spencer come to the door, but you don't bother to look back. You don't want him to see the tears in your eyes. You blink the blurry tears from your vision so you don't trip and make an even bigger fool of yourself, and you get halfway down the hall before Spencer is calling your name. But you act like you don't hear him.

Just before you reach the stairwell, you feel a hand on your shoulder. You stop in your tracks and a breath catches in your throat. Looking back, you see Spencer with disheveled hair and beyond him, his friend he met with last night. The sight of her in his doorway makes you shrug his hand off of you, disgusted to think about where those hands may have been just moments before you knocked on the door.

"Where are you going?" Spencer's voice is quiet, but you can hear the hurt and curiosity in his words. With a sniffle, you look from the woman back to him.

"I'm going back home, I didn't mean to interrupt your plans or whatever." You say, words cold and curt. Turning back around, you're determined to go back home, but Spencer stops you again.

"Please don't go. Come in, please." He practically begs. And as if she just got the hint, the woman leaves down the opposite end of the hall, heels in hand. You glare at her retreating figure before turning your attention back to Spencer.

"Fine." You agree and follow him back inside his apartment.

His floor is littered with the outfit he wore to work yesterday. Tie slung across the back of the couch and shirt tossed in front of the bedroom door. Nausea washes over you and you try your best to keep your facial expression neutral. The plate of cookies finds its place on his countertop and you stand with your hands in your pockets, feeling oddly out of place in an apartment that used to feel like your second home.

"I'm sorry about that, I um, I didn't see your text." Spencer closes the door behind him and walks over to you. Trying your best to appear calm and collected, you shrug.

"It's okay." You say, feeling like it's anything but.

A silence settles between the two of you and you almost regret your decision to come over. You watch as Spencer tries to quickly tidy up the place, throwing dirty clothes into his bedroom and tossing trash away. As he makes his way through his apartment you realize that you two hadn't made any real plans, just that you would come over. And while that used to mean movies and relaxing, you know that it just wouldn't feel right tonight.

"Listen, if now is a bad time we can always reschedule." You offer and go to move towards the door.

"No! No it's okay, I want you to stay." He says, throwing the last piece of garbage away. You sigh, realizing that you're probably not leaving here without some sort of confrontation.

"So how have you been? We haven't really talked in a while." You ease into conversation, hoping to coax Spencer into opening up. He rubs the back of his neck and his eyes dart around, looking anywhere but at you.

"I've been okay. And you?" The conversation feels like one between two acquaintances, not friends.

"Yeah I've been okay. Just worried about you." You somehow find the courage to tell him your true thoughts. After all, you figure you can either tell him or simmer in your own feelings.

"Worried about me? Why?" His eyebrows scrunch together. Feeling like his gaze is too intense, you look over at the counter and let your fingers trace the lines of granite.

"I know what you've been doing Spence. And it's none of my business but, don't you kind of think it might just be a trade off?" Sure, this might be out of line and too bold, but your concerns are real.

"A trade off?" He asks, taking a step closer to you. Standing firm, you nod your head.

"Spence you put down the needle and started picking up women. Just take a second and think about it Spencer." Your eyes find their way back to his. The image of the woman opening his door gives you newfound confidence.

You watch as he closes his mouth and thinks, instead of retorting right away. It's almost as if you can see the gears of his mind turning and churning the information and analyzing his actions over the past few months. After about five minutes, he looks back up at you with his mouth slightly agape.

"It's just addiction transference." He confirms what your suspicions had been for weeks now. And Spencer isn't stupid, he knows he needs to hold himself accountable, and you're thankful he is, or this conversation could've take a far more drastic turn.

You watch as his face falls and he buries his head in his hands. Your angry resolve begins to crumble, and the love you have for him reblossoms within you, washing away any other feeling. Walking over to him, you place an unsure hand on his back to try and bring him some comfort.

"It's okay." You whisper, rubbing circles on his back. With a sigh, he looks back up to you. His soft, caring eyes look into yours and you finally recognize him. This is your Spencer.

"How could I not have seen this? It's plain as day and I let myself fall into another addiction. I was doing so good while you were here and then-" He cuts himself off abruptly, as if he said something he hadn't wanted to.

"And then what Spencer?" You push him for an answer, desperately needing to know what he was going to say.

"And then you left and I felt so alone." He admits and you can almost feel your heart stop beating in your chest.

He stands back to his full height, towering over you. Your blood runs hot in your veins as you stare into Spencer's eyes, searching for an answer.

"I know I've been a really bad friend lately but, do you think we could go back to how we were?" His voice is tender and vulnerable. Your mind was already made up the second the question left his lips.

"Of course, that's what friends are for." You say, despising having to describe yourselves as friends.

But at least you have your Spencer back.

- - - - -

"Come in!" Spencer's voice carries through the door and you let yourself into his apartment.

The past two weeks have been good, albeit a little rocky between the two of you. Spencer had stopped picking up women after a few failed attempts at stopping, but you can tell that his mind is itching for another fixation.

You step into his apartment and close the door behind you, seeing Spencer already on the couch, movie ready to play. He had let you pick out the movie this time, which is a rare occurrence but you didn't question it.

Sitting beside him, you relish in the familiar smell of the blankets. One of your demands is that he wash all of them before tonight, and he happily agreed. With a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of you, you snuggle underneath your blanket and watch the movie, but you can almost guarantee that you'll fall asleep before the end.

The movie is about halfway over when Spencer spills his drink on his blanket. He balled it up and threw it in the washer to deal with later, and as he resumed his spot on the couch, you offered half of your blanket.

Scooting closer, you gave him a generous share of your blanket, and you don't miss the way his hand rests on your knee. Suddenly your attention is no longer on the movie.

He keeps his hand on your knee, until he slides it up your thigh. Breath catches in your throat and you glance at him from the corner of your eye. He's still watching the movie, he probably doesn't even realize what he's done.

Spencer's thumb lazily draws shapes on your skin, causing you to shiver. He must've noticed, because you can swear a grin spreads across his face. His hand dares to go a little higher, and this time you're able to find your voice.

"What are you doing?" You keep your voice soft. Spencer doesn't miss a beat, and he licks his lips before answering.

"I'm just watching the movie." He answers with faux innocence. Not buying his explanation, you cock an eyebrow.

"Spencer." You say, urging him to tell the truth. A part of you is worried that he's unable to help himself and is just trying to satiate his need for satisfaction.

"I'm not allowed to love on my friend?" His voice is raspy, eyes dark in the dim light.

"You can, I just, you never do this to me." You stumble over your words, the feeling of his warm hand on your skin making your brain short circuit.

Without another word, he pulls you closer to him. Your shoulders are touching, faces inches apart. With this proximity, you're sure he can hear your heartbeat.

"It's nice having you here. It doesn't feel right when you leave, it feels empty." He whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingertips graze your neck and you shudder.

"I miss being here all the time with you." You admit, feeling particularly vulnerable. The way he looks at you is almost enough to make you melt.

"Then stay." He says, hand coming up your arm and resting on your cheek.

"What are you doing?" You ask again, brain foggy from his touch.

"You want to know something?" He keeps his voice deep, and you nod silently.

"All of those women had one thing in common." He says and almost causes you to retract from his hold. But he follows up quickly, sensing your aversion to the topic.

"They all looked like you. But, none of them could ever begin to compare. I was searching for you in each one of them but came up short each time." You're breathless with his confession, and you allow your hands to reach up and rest on his shoulders, begging him to stay close.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You ask, keenly aware that your noses are almost touching. Spencer's eyes flick from your eyes to your lips,

"Because I didn't want to lose you. I couldn't live without you in my life, and if you didn't feel the same way then our friendship would've been in disrepair." He says and it's ridiculous to you, the thought that you didn't feel the same.

"I watched you with those other women and wished it was me. I wished you would've said yes to me, not them." You come clean, one hand trailing up to the side of Spencer's neck. This time it's his turn to shiver.

"Having you would be like having a piece of heaven." He says, and before you know it, his lips are on yours.

The two of you are warm from the blanket and from burning desire. His hand keeps you close and you grab onto the front of his shirt. Spencer kisses you with a hot need, his lips desperate to know yours intimately.

One of your hands releases his shirt and tangles in his curly hair. The brown curls still as soft as you remember.

Spencer's lips leave yours and start placing wet kisses on your cheek, to your jaw, before landing on your neck. You gasp with pleasure, eyes fluttering shut.

"Just like heaven." He mutters against your skin before finding your lips again.

When he pulls away, you can feel your swollen, wet lips and your warm cheeks. Spencer looks equally as flustered, but it's the most alluring thing you've ever seen.

Resting his forehead against yours, he takes your hands into his own. This time they're free of tremors, they're warm and inviting.

"This is me saying yes to you, if you'll have me. I've realized that nothing, and nobody, will ever be able to satisfy my heart the way you do." He states, pulling back to watch your reaction.

Squeezing his hands, you nod,

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for you. I've had my eye on you since day one." You admit, leaning in for another kiss.

Spencer wraps his arms around your waist, keeping you pressed flush against him. Your fingers find their way into his curly, and now disheveled hair, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

The feeling of his lips on your skin is indescribable, each kiss lights your love on fire.

- - - - -

Morning rolls around, sunshine breaking through the curtain in Spencer's bedroom. You roll over to face him, eyes heavy with sleep and love.

Your eyes are met with his, and as you take in his beauty you think you can see the hollowness in his eyes begin to fade. A small smile finds its way to your face as you reach out and run your thumb over his cheekbone.

"What are you smiling about?" He asks with a grin on his own face.

"Nothing, I'm just proud of how far you've come." You say, gingerly caressing his face. He hums with contentment, leaning in to kiss your forehead.

"I'd be nowhere without you." You can feel the authenticity in his words, and you know he never had to thank you for anything. You bury you head into Spencer's chest and take in his warmth, appreciating the moment with him.

Being held in his arms, you know that you would do everything over again and again if it meant that Spencer found a piece of himself again, that he's been able to heal from the damage Tobias inflicted upon him. You told him you'd be there for him every step of the way, and those words have never been more true.

You're glad you kept your eye on Spencer Reid.

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thequietkid-moonie · 8 months

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hi moonie! ❤ i've been waiting for requests to open again and i'm finally going to request something now 😌

how about yandere nagito, kokichi, kazuichi and rantaro with a darling who's super distant and closed off from others but only comfortable with them, only laughing and smiling when they are near them?

i'm looking forward to requesting more and i hope you're having a lovely day 🍀 love you! <3

Distant darling is only open with them

[ YANDERE HEADCANONS ] [ Nagito, Kazuichi, Kokichi, Rantaro ]

[ Danganronpa 2 Goodbye Despair ] [ Danganronpa V3 Killing Harmony ]

⚠️ Yandere, I dunno support this kind of behavior in real life, I just write it for fun!

I'm really excited too V-chan!! I'm having a pretty good day but now that i had your request is way better!! ^^

Thanks for requesting such an amazing prompt with amazing characters!! I had a lot of fun writing this, hope you like it too!! ❤️❤️

Nagito Komaeda

Even since the moment Nagito met his darling he knew it was a person filled with hope, a person with a bright potential and a future filled with hope, his admiration quickly grows as an obsession as he has the opportunity to see you more, an obsession that only grows more and more with each passing day

For Nagito it doesn't matter if you let him be in your live or doesn't even aknowledge his existance, for him is more than a blessing being able to be near you, and he wouldn't blame you if you don't want anything to do with trash like him

Nagito didn't mean to be pushy to enter in your life, but since he can't be away from you for too long and that need of being around you only grows with his obsession it was obvious that at one point you two will end up meeting. He expected for you to hate him for even daring to be around you but if you don't mind him being near you or even accept him he is shocked for it, and yet he will not dare to doubt you and just accept it

Once you let him enter in your life there is no way to get away from him, Nagito had swear to himself (and even to you) to be always with you and do whatever is needed to help you bright in an inmense and infinite hope and for that he become really clingy and dependent of you, doing whatever you ask him and accept whatever you say to him with a smile

Nagito just get used to you being cold and distant towards him, he doesn't expect nor think he deserve something else, won't even dare to ask for more, so when you start to open up more to him, even if is just a little he is incredibly surprised and even brush it off as if it was his imagination at first, but as you start to grow more and more comfortable around him there is no way for him to deny it

Nagito will probably try to deny it for as long as posible because he doesn't feel like he deserve it but it start to become more obvious in diferent ways, you had started to talk more, you start to express more of yourself and even smile, sometimes he is lucky enough to heard you laugh, and if he pay enough attention he can see your body language directed towards him, it was obvious that you started to feel free to open up to him

Nagito noticed your change but is too scare to accept it, so it isn't going to happen until someone else point it out (and even so it would take him a while, unless is you), and when he does finally accept that he is the one with who you feel the most comfortable he swears to himself that protect that feeling and never disappoint you

Your smile becomes his reason to continue living, and being the only one you allow to see it give him a boost of confidence, sudendly he feels special and important (but never more than you). Nagito even become more intense in every way posible, wanting nothing more to be with you and be able to make you happy, now he is even more eager to do everything in his power to make you happy and just fullfil your wishes, to help you reach the greatest hope

Also, Nagito never dare to question you anything he just accept you the way you are, so he never really pry into the details of the reason of your distrust and distant attitude towards others (he may actually wondered why but always brush it off as saying that is none of his business), he won't ask you even when you finally open up to him but if he get to know that is someone's fault because they had hurted you in the past it would be more probably that he will take things into matter because he hates the idea of you suffering, and he does it with the excuse that is because that bastard made you feel despair

Kazuichi Soda

It doesn't take him much time before falling in love with you, Kazuichi is the type that could fall in love at first sight, and when he does he does it hard, and just as quickly it is for him to fall in love it is to grow obsesive over you, in no time you had become the only thing that wander around Kazuichi's mind (not that he is complaining)

Kazuichi is delusional, he sees you as the peak of perfection and beauty, everyone most know and admire your beauty (but he doesn't concentrate on doing other admire you, he is more focused on admiring you himself and trying to give you everything you deserve), as well he doesn't even ask you or tries to win your trust before hand, he just came into your life and isn't planning to go away, one day he just came and talk to you as if you two already know each other from all your life (but with a little too much respect, maybe even as if you were royalty)

Although, even when he sees you as perfection itself he is unable to think that you don't like him, that posibility will break him completely so his mind doesn't even think on that, instead, when you act distant towards him he just doesn't believe it, it would take him a while to catch the idea of you not being comfortable or not wanting to share much with him, and when he does he is blaming himself for it, thinking that is probably his fault and he has to make it up for you

And just like that Kazuichi tries from all the ways he can think on to make you forgive him and to get in your good side again, he does everything he can for you, shower you with all kind of compliments and praises, trying to protect you from any kind of threaten (or at least, to anything that he sees as a threaten), Kazuichi is actually pretty open with his obsesion because he doesn't see anything bad in it, in his eyes everything is what you deserve and out of love

It will take him a while to notice that you had become more open and comfortable with him, and won't really notice it until it become more obvious, he doesn't get the little hints and just keeps trying to make it up for you, but when he finally does he couldn't be happier that you finally seem to be accepting him

When he finally sees your smile for him you had grow now even more beautiful! his praises and obsession only increase, from that day he just gets more determinanted to serve you and make you smile, it would take him a while to notice that you only feel comfortable to show yourself with him but if he does it only give him a boost on his ego and selfconfidece, someone so perfect like you shows him their perfect smile! obviousle he will feel honored! sudenly he feels incredibly special for being the only one allowed to see the smile of someone so special and perfect

Speaking of, he may don't brag about it with other but he will not shut up with his compliments and praises. As well, he is already pretty jealous but if he sees you smiling towards anyone else he wil be increadibly jealous, he thought he was special! he will never take it against you but it isn't probably that the other person will be safe (at least to his deadly glares and threatens)

Kazuichi doesn't pry for deep details, he asks more for superficial detais, personal details only when it comes to your likings and so on, so is probably that he won't exactly nor wonder why do you act the way you act, it is up to you if you decide to tell him or not, but if he ever get to know if is someone else fault that you don't feel comfortable being yourself he will be completely offended for what happened to you (like if it had happened to him), is more likely that he won't search revenge for you but it trigger his protectiveness, from that day he is keeping a close eye to anyone who dares even aproach to you, he had swear that no one will hurt you again in any way

Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi isn't the type who falls in love imediatly, for him is a slowly process, it started by a simple interested, your distant personality catches his eye and immediatly atracted to him but as the time pass that interest slowly and careful grows more and more, it reachs the point where he was so curious about you that wanted to know everything he can of you without noticing, becomes an obsession without him able to stop it

Kokichi is really smart and doesn't do anything without a plan, so even if he approach to you casually he has already a plan to get to know all your secrets, while in the outside he is just being goofy and childish in the inside he is getting all the information he can of you by all the means he needs

For Kokichi all of this was a simple game, he was just playing around with you, he planned to make you the victim of his silly jokes until he can get a reaction of you, however Kokichi didn't know (or at least he didn't want to accept it) but this was a game he was losing, the more time he pass with you and the more he gets to know about you his love and obsession done nothing but grow more and more, he thought he was the one in control when in reality he was already down bad for you, but he will not dare to admit it because he didn't want to feel that vulnerable

Once Kokichi knows everything he can of you the new part of his plan started, make you laugh. Kokichi wanted nothing more than have some fun, do some silly jokes and be consider funny by the ones he cares, even when he is terrible with expressing his true feelings, and since the day you catches his interest Kokichi had cling onto you and doesn't plan to let you go you become the one he wants to make smile the most

Kokichi is incredibly smart and is always paying too much attention to you, so he notice when you start to feel more comfortable right away, even if is only a little and there are only small hints of it that is more than enough for him to feel like he is starting to win the game, and to make him feel a boost of confidence on himself and his plan

When he finally manage to get a smile, or even better, a laugh from you is the point of not return, even if is something that lasted one second it was more than enough for Kokichi to fall in love all over again with you, that moment is what make Kokichi realize how beautiful you are, how much he loves you and how much he wish to see that beautiful smile again

Kokichi doesn't want to admit it, not even to himself (even when he has it clear) but he is quite dependent of his darling, he can say all he wants that he doesn't care for you and he does whatever he wants but in reality your opinion is what matters the most for him and he is desperate for you to love him the way he is, so when you finally smile for him, and only him, he becomes even more dependent, he becomes dependent of your smile and it becomes his purpose in live to continue making you smiling

It may wouldn't be so intense if it wasn't because of your distant personality, now that you allow him to be the only one you are able to express yourself freely and truly smile he is not willing to lose it, he is going to make everything in his power for you to never lose that smile and for you to smile for him and only for him. That honor of being the only one you smile at makes him even more possessive, it makes him feel special and it makes him want to be the only one to enjoy that pleasure

Kokichi already knows everything about you, so he already knows, or at least have an idea of what happened to you to become so distant from others, and if there is someone to blame for it he will make them pay without a doubt, they deserve it for trying to erase your beautiful smile

Amami Rantaro

It doesn't happen imediatly, it takes some time for him to happen, he falls in love first and then his obsession grows slowly but stronge, and even when he notice those growing intense feelings inside of him he just accept them because are feelings that grow out of love

It isn't difficult for Rantaro to enter in your life once he gets interested on you, even when he can be pretty misterious he is really charming and attentive, he appear to be trust worthy, he even openly accept if you don't trust him yet or aren't comfortable around him right away, or at least that what he says because inside is something that bothers him but stay calm reminding himself that is just matter of time, he will let you know that he isn't a threaten and you can trust him

Rantaro will be kindly pushing you to accept him, he understand that you prefer to be are distant to everyone and even wary but he isn't planing to let you go, so he just insist too much, but he do it so kindly and gentle that can go unnoticed or don't bother you at all

As the time pass Rantaro grows more clingy as his obsession grows, he just loves you so much that can't stay away from you and even when he isn't physicaly near you somehow he always knows where you are and what are you doing. He excuses himself by saying that he just want you to be safe, he had already lost all his sisters and despite everything he have done to trying to find them he haven't even find a trace of them and that lead him to be terrified by the thought of the same happening to you, he doesn't know what he will do if you ever go missing so he prefers to watch you closely to asure that you won't just disappear one day

Even when his unhealthy and obsessive behavior can be pretty obvious at times he always manage to cover up as being worried of you or even accidents, he is so good at covering up and finding convincing excuses that it is scary

Rantaro is a really observant and perseptive person, he is smart enough to notice when you start to feel more comfortable around him, even if there are just little hints like you getting a little more closer to him or starting to express a little more he notice it right away, and it makes his heart melt, Rantaro was used to your distant attitude and even when this was something he expected and wanted is still flattering, it gave him even more motivation to continue

Once you open up to him completely there is no way to stop Rantaro, he just feel like he is special for you, maybe as special you are to him, it make him think that you had fully accept him in your life and that would lead him to be more possessive and protective over you, he just had find out how beautiful your smile is and he isn't planning to lose it, besides he is really mature and is used to take care all of his sisters, he knows what it is the best for you and wants nothing more that see you smile

He wants to spend every second of the day by your side only to be able to discover all your other beautiful expressions, but, as much as he loves that you finally feel comfortable to express yourself with him Rantaro wants to be the only one with the privilege to see that beautiful sight, he had grow a little bit depend on you so if he even see you starting to express mor with another person, even if is a little Rantaro will feel threaten, and if he is trigger enough he will do something about it (not against you, never against you)

Rantaro had tried to find out the reason of why you are so distant to others, and won't be calm until he finds out, one way or another (without hurting you, of course) and if there is someone to blame Rantaro will hate them with his life, he won't do anything against them (unless that person hurt you badly), but if they cross his path or dare to even look at you again he probably won't be able to hold himself back

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everestica · 4 months

Text

♫ - Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everybody, this post is how some of the characters I liked over the year spend Christmas with you and some (towards the end) what they got you for Christmas! (PS If there is anybody else you would like me to add to this feel free to ask and I might come out with a second part!!) ♫ ---------- ♫ ---------- ♫ ---------- ♫ ---------- ♫ Gepard - He loves being able to sleep in, but since he knows how excited that you are he only chuckles a little when you wake up in the morning and immediately get out of bed to go look under the tree (No matter how old you are you gotta see the gifts in the morning), he'll only sit on the couch holding you close to him as you open each others gifts!

Silver (Twst) - He loves Christmas as much as the next person but CANNOT wake up in the morning for anything 😭 (Que you and Lilia trying to wake him up in the morning) but as soon as he is awake tho expect him to give you your present very fast just in case he falls asleep again (He dose when Lilia is going on about Christmas when he was a kid)

Deuce Spade - Most excited ever, He's more likely one of the first ones up so you never have to worry about him not being awake in time, He will be the first person to hand you a present more specifically the one from him, it's three of his favorite things mixed together, Christmas, presents, and you!

Tachihara Michizou - Manz just doesn't wanna get up in the morning, as much as he loves you he wants to sleep in, but as soon as you do get him up he will be hella excited and drag you to the tree with him, as excited as he is tho he will be super cool and very toned down about the present he got you, and by present I mean Presents (Man has two good paying jobs I mean you can't blame me for adding that in) He actually got (most of) your gifts just though out the year when you had mentioned something in passing. (Idk that shit's the cutest to me, get you a partner who remembers the small stuff 😭)

Akito Shinonome - Again another one who just wants to stay in bed and cuddle all morning but instead of you waking him up, it's Ena. She's was too excited about this to be sleeping any later then like 7 AM. So now the two of you have been dragged out of bed and now starting to cuddle on the couch as people start getting the presents from under the tree, one of the last ones was from Akito. It was a symbol of how the two of you met, at one of his concerts so it was a necklace with a microphone on it and a little charm that had A + (your initial) on it.

Furina - SO EXCITED, Will get up so early and go rushing to the tree to see the presents underneath, loves all the pretty lights and how they illuminate the room and all the wrapped gifts under the tree, at a decent hour though she will go and wake you up by jumping on you, she won't hurt you tho. (Nobody wants to go to the ER on Christmas) Will love opening presents, and loves passing them out as well, but she loves you even more and loves the smile on your face when you see the cute things that she got you!

Hajime Hinata - Again another guy who just kinda chuckles at how excited you are about it, I mean he likes christmas don't get me wrong but he loves your expressions about it much more, though he would never tell you that. Will def let you drag him to the tree and sit him down somewhere (as long as you sit somewhere near him, at least so he can still reach you) Loves seeing you smile at what he got for you at the end though and that's the best gift he could ever ask for.

Blade (HSR) - Seems like he's pissed off all the time standing somewhere behind you as you, Kafka, and Silverwolf all sit down around the Christmas tree and start passing out and opening gifts though one of the last gifts is a smaller box you notice as Kafka hands it to you, smiling, the tag says "To (Name) From Blade." That's why she was smiling, even though you had gotten gift for Blade you didn't expect him to get you one, when you finally opening it and look inside it's a bracelet with his initials and your initials, with coordinates on it. The first place that you two met.

Thoma - He loves christmas and loves spending it with you and the Kamisato siblings, seeing you and Ayaka spending time near the Christmas tree, as Thoma watches over the two of you as Ayato finishes up signing something for the yashiro commission. As he finishes they start getting gifts, one of the middle gifts was a medium sized gift the tag reading that it was from Thoma. As you opened it, there was something small inside it looked exactly like the rope he wore in his hair, and it was. It was a smaller version though one that looked like it was meant for around the ankle or the wrist, which ever one you picked he tied it on for you as a reminder that he was always with you, no matter what.

Malleus Draconia - Loves seeing you excited about the holidays, even if he doesn't fully understand it he will always support you and if you're happy then he is too! He loves watching you open the bunches of gifts that he got you and even loves the gift(s) that you got him, one in particular that stood out was the last one that you had gotten from under the tree. It was known to almost everybody that you stayed in Diasomnia more than 90% of the day since when you didn't there would def be some lighting outside that night. So instead he had gotten you a temporary Diasomnia room card, since you needed magic to get in, so it was infused with magic so you could get in you needed, along with one of the armbands that all the people of Diasomnia wore. It was really a gift for everybody, Sebek and Silver because they would get sort of a break of watching over him if you were always with him, Lilia since he might end up finally getting grandkids, Malleus since he would be able to see you more, You because you wouldn't have to stay in ramshakle all the time and be worried that one day you would wake up without a roof, and everybody else in Diasomnia since they wouldn't have to worry about an angry housewarden.

♫ - Please if you are going to repost any of my works anywhere else, ask permission first! There will be almost a 100% chance that I will say yes as long as you just ask and give credit! Thank you for your understanding!

#project sekai x reader #genshin x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #danganronpa x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #gepard x reader #twst silver x reader #deuce spade x reader #tachihara x reader #akito shinonome x reader #furina x reader #hajime hinata x reader #honkai blade x reader #blade x reader #thoma x reader #malleus draconia x reader

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zegrasdrysdale · 5 months

Note

can we now have a fic when the test says positive? <33

[ plus sign ] j. drysdale

paring : Jamie Drysdale x fem!reader

summary : (Y/N) surprises Jamie with a present that will change his life after he gets home from a game

warning(s) : mentions of sex but no actual sex, pregnancy

author’s note : i am really just fueling the baby fever i have had for days at this point. self indulging i guess. anyway, enjoy :) (this isn't a second part to "not our time" btw bc this request came in after i posted that)

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She noticed the first red flag that morning when she and Jamie were fooling around before he left for his game. He gave her breast a light squeeze and it hurt when it usually feels good. She blamed it on the fact that she was probably about to start her period.

That's when she noticed the unopened box of tampons in the cabinet under the sink when she went to pee after they were done in bed.

Her stomach dropped when she did quick math and realized that she hasn't had her period for nearly two months. She needed to go to the store as soon as possible and get some pregnancy tests.

Which has all led up to (Y/N) sitting on the floor against the door as she waits for the results of the two pregnancy tests on the counter next to the sink. Her phone counts down beside her and the closer the time gets to zero, the bigger the knot grows in her stomach.

Yes, she wants a baby. She loves kids. Every time she sees her nieces and nephews, she can't wait to have her own.

She doesn't want to give Jamie a baby he might not even want right now. He's still trying to prove himself as a top defenseman on the Ducks after injuries have sidelined him for months and he may not want the extra stress of having a child.

They haven't even really talked about having kids because it's been less than a year since they went from a friends-with-benefits thing to an actual relationship. She loves him, but she doesn't want to trap him with something he may not even want or need at the moment.

The alarm on her phone goes off after five minutes. She wanted to give the tests enough time for clear results, just in case.

With a shaky sigh, (Y/N) pushes herself up off the ground. She shuts her eyes and gnaws on her lower lip, unsure of what she wants.

She doesn't know which result she'll be happier with. A lot comes with either result.

If it's positive, their lives are going to change. Even if Jamie doesn't want anything to do with the baby, she won't get rid of it. She can't. She'd feel so guilty.

If it's negative, she'll probably be devastated. Maybe she and Jamie aren't ready for a baby but she'll still love them with everything in her. She's in love with the baby and she doesn't even know if she's actually pregnant yet or not.

To rip the bandage off, she opens her eyes and looks immediately at the tests in front of her as she exhales.

'+' stares her in the face.

Twice. There are four lines between both tests on the counter.

A gasp falls from her lips and her hand flies up to her mouth. Her free hand picks up one of the tests to get a closer look at it.

It's positive. They're both positive. There's no doubt about it with how dark those lines are on those tests.

She's going to have a baby. Tears fill her eyes as soon as the realization hits her and a quiet sob passes her lips. A part of her and Jamie is growing in her belly right now.

Her hand falls down to her belly and rubs it a few times. Her face hurts and she realizes that she has the biggest smile on her lips, and probably has since she saw the result of the test.

Jamie. He doesn't even know that she had all those realizations that prompted her to get tests in the first place. He has no idea that she even bought the tests.

Quickly, she throws on her Ducks jersey and a Ducks hockey beanie. She wasn't going to go to the game because of how bad she felt but she wants Jamie to know as soon as possible. This is a piece of him. They made this baby together.

She throws one of the positive tests in a little gift bag to act like it's a gift before she gets in the Uber she called. (Y/N) doesn't trust herself to drive a car with how badly her hands are shaking.

There is two hours before the game starts so Jamie is probably in the gym with the rest of the guys to get their pregame workout in. All the staff looks at her with a confused look on their face as she makes her way to the team gym.

The security guard stops her from walking in. "Sorry, miss," he says. "No one is allowed in the gym while the team is in there. Can I get someone for you?"

"Can you just tell Jamie Drysdale to meet me in the team lounge area so I can give something to him?" she requests. "If it's not too much trouble. Tell him his girlfriend is looking for him."

He nods and heads into the gym. (Y/N) spins on her heels and heads down the hallway to the team lounge room.

It smells like men in the room. She quickly comes to the conclusion that the family lounge room smells so much better. At least it doesn't smell like twenty plus sweaty men.

She paces for a second before the door opens and a very sweaty Jamie walks into the room. "Baby, hey," Jamie greets her. "What's going on? Is everything okay? You've never interrupted the team workout before."

(Y/N) holds out the little gift bag. "I have something for you," she tells him. "Um, it can't wait or I would've waited until after the game. It'll be worth it, I think."

Hesitantly, Jamie reaches out and takes it. She watches as he pulls it open. She's super nervous about the reaction that Jamie will have as soon as he sees what it's the bag.

At first, he looks confused. Then he reaches into the bag and pulls out the positive test. He squints at it then his eyes widen. He looks up at her and asks, "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah," she breathes out. "After this morning, I went out and bought a few tests because it normally doesn't hurt when you squeeze my boob. Then I realized it's been over two months since I last had a period so-"

She's cut off by Jamie pulling her into his arms and picking her up. "We're going to have a baby," he says. Happiness and excitement is in his voice. He doesn't sound angry or worried. "We're really going to have a baby."

A laugh passes her lips and she wraps her arms around his neck. He puts her down softly and she looks up at him. "Now you see why it couldn't wait," she comments. "I was really excited to tell you because they're a part of you too."

The happiness on Jamie's very sweaty face brings tears to her eyes. "Oh my God, (Y/N)," Jamie laughs as he cups her jaw. "You don't have to cry. I'm so happy. I'm ecstatic, baby. I can't wait to meet them. I'm going to love the shit out of this baby because they're a part of you."

(Y/N) laughs and Jamie dries the tears that have rolled down her cheeks. "I love you, Jamie," she tells him. "I can't wait to raise this baby with you. You're going to be the best father."

"They better come to every game with you as soon as they come out of you," Jamie says. "I want to brag to all my teammates that I have the cutest baby in the world."

She smiles and hugs Jamie. He wraps his arms around her for a quick second before he sinks down to his knees. He glances up at (Y/N) for a second and whispers to her belly, "Hi in there. This is your daddy. I can't wait to meet you. Your mom is the most amazing woman in the world and she's going to rock at being a mommy."

Her fingers run through his disgustingly sweaty hair. "Can we celebrate when we go home?" she asks. "After you have had a shower because your hair is disgusting, baby."

"Sorry, sorry," he laughs as he gets off his knees. "I'm just excited. I can't wait." There are voices in the hallway, which means the team is done in the gym. "I have to go get ready but I'll see you during the warm ups, right?" He leans down and pecks her lips,

"Absolutely," she replies. "Go score me a goal tonight."

"One for both of you."

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yourusername

liked by anaheimducks, trevorzegras and 20,392 others

yourusername baby girl drysdale coming in spring 2024 ♡

view all 3,287 comments

masonmctavish23 i'm gonna be an aunt !

tterry19 i don't think that's how that works bud masonmctavish23 oh well

anaheimducks We can't wait to meet baby girl Drysdale!

yourusername <3

trevorzegras oh i am so going to be the uncle that brings your daughter ice cream when you tell me no. that baby is going to be so spoiled

jamie.drysdale going to be the best mama <3

yourusername gonna be the best daddy. baby girl is so lucky to have you as her dad

leocarlssoon looks like there's another rookie joining us this year

nhl Congratulations Jamie and (Y/N)!

frank_vatrano this secret was getting so hard to hold. congratulations tho

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#hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey oneshot #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl oneshot #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale fic #jamie drysdale fluff

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khujoor · 4 months

Text

apple pie ch.one

tw: zhongli makes reader a bit uncomfy

wc: ab 1.3k

"we should all go out tonight! like when we were younger in middle school," ayaka said, trying to get the groups attention.

"can't, got wrestling practice," beidou said, not bothering to look up from her phone.

"i can't either, my mom wants me to meet some guy she's been dating," you sighed, putting your homework in your bag.

your friend group wasn't necessarily large, only five people, but others may disagree. it consisted of ayaka, the class president, beidou, the athlete people loved, ningguang, the student council president, keqing, the council's secretary, and you, y/n.

"is he famous?" beidou asked, suddenly interested in the discussion.

you couldn't blame your friends for no longer having interest in discussions, or no longer having free time, you were all seniors, only a month from graduating. you all also had other friends too. it wouldn't be a lie if you said you'd prefer others than them at times.

"i don't know," you shrugged. "i never met him."

"you think he's gonna be an old man?" ningguang asked you.

"i think he was born in '87 since my mom got him something year of the rabbit related. or '75 but not even my mom is 40 yet."

"he's young then. you're about half his age, if he's 36, that is."

you weren't necessarily excited to meet him. ever since your father passed away at a young age, your mom got a new boyfriend every other week, acting as if she was going to marry them, only to break up since your mom lost interest.

you thought your mom was the reason why you didn't have a proper relationship, you don't know what love really is. sure, your mom got you stuff, never yelled or hit you, and wasn't constantly out the house, but she never knew how to show affection towards you.

"do you think this relationship will turn out well for your mom?" beidou put her legs up on the empty chair next to her, grabbing a piece of gum for herself.

"beidou!" keqing looked at beidou, not wanting you to be hurt by her words.

"it's fine," you sighed. "i hope so, but i don't think it will. she's a very picky woman, y'know?" you sarcastically said.

you wished your mom would have a proper relationship. a not creepy boyfriend. maybe you can get a father figure too while she's at it.

"i think.. i'll get a rich boyfriend. then, we can live together, far from here, wouldn't that be nice?" you daydreamed.

"finish school first," beidou snorted.

"why don't you move into the dorms?" ningguang questioned.

"you know my mom can't afford it. if she could, i would've gladly moved in the dorms," you grabbed your phone from your pocket, opening your bank account. "even my part-time job doesn't give me enough money to live on campus," you showed the balance on your phone, a mere 150 dollars.

"you just got hired," keqing said. "just save up, you'll have enough money soon."

"we're all going to be out of school by then."

you wore the most expensive thing you owned, or probably the only expensive thing you owned since you hardly spent much on yourself. it was a dress, but wasn't too fancy or revealing.

"(y/n)! are you ready yet?" your mom called from her bedroom, as you heard her complain about what purse would best suit her outfit.

her boyfriend was supposed to pick you two up to take you all to the dinner, and while there was about 5 minutes left, you were decided whether you really wanted to go or not.

you can easily pretend to be sick, right? a few random stuff thrown in the toilet looks like throw up, doesn't it?

"you be on your best behavior tonight, okay? i really love him, so you better not ruin this for me."

you love your mom, if love was the right word for it, but she said that everytime. and everytime she ended up ruining it herself. what were you gonna do?

you slipped on your flats, changing from your original plan of heels, considering school made your feet sore.

you stood outside, next to your mom who dragged you outside, saying it'd be better to be outside so he wouldn't have to wait.

"mom?"

"yes?"

"do you really love him?"

she took a moment to say something.

"of course i do."

as your mom's words lingered in the air, you couldn't help but feel a sense of skepticism. it wasn't the first time she had proclaimed her love for someone new, only for it to end in disappointment and heartache. but this time, something felt different.

maybe it was the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about him, or the genuine smile that graced her face whenever he came up in some conversation of yours.

you sighed, pushing aside your doubts for now. after all, you wanted nothing more than to see your mom happy, even if it meant going through the rollercoaster of emotions that came with her relationships.

folding your arms across your chest, you forced yourself to wear a supportive smile as you waited for her boyfriend's arrival.

just as you were about to suggest checking the time, a sleek black car pulled up in front of your house.

"he's here," you said, looking at your mom.

"you should sit in the front seat, i'm sure he'd love to meet you," she said as she sits in the back.

"fuck," you groaned, rubbing your temple in frustration. you didn't like meeting new people, and now you were expected to sit next to a new person?

you opened the door, sitting down, making sure you were close to the door as you put out your hand. "i'm (y/n), it's nice to meet you. my mother always talks about you."

"really? i'm honored," his voice was deep, yet carried some sweetness as he looked back at your mom. he shakes your hand firmly, his hand feeling a bit rough. "i'm zhongli. you may have heard of my company, liyue? we're an entertainment agency."

"oh, yeah, i've heard of it before," you put on your seatbelt, wondering what to say to keep the conversation going.

he had a fairly nice car, it looked newly polished, and had the new car smell. you would believe him if he told you this was a brand new car.

"your mother tells me you're top of your class?"

"yeah, barely. hopefully i'll graduate top of my class," you said, looking forward, even if you desperately wanted to look away, you didn't want to be that disrespectful.

"what do you plan to do after high school?"

"become a scien-"

"a doctor. she wants to be a doctor," your mother interrupted you, but you doubt that did anything considering you said most of the title already.

zhongli's smile seemed to widen, but it didn't reach his eyes. "ah, a studious young lady. that's commendable. and dreams… they have a way of evolving, don't they?"

you nodded, trying to shake off the discomfort that settled over you. the rest of the ride was spent in awkward silence, broken only by occasional attempts at forced small talk. each passing moment increased your desire to escape this situation.

finally, the car pulled up to the restaurant, and you were relieved to step out into the crisp night air. the restaurant's ambiance couldn't dispel the tension that lingered, and the evening unfolded as a series of strained conversations and awkward silences.

#x reader #genshin #angst #genshin impact #genshin x reader #yandere #yandere genshin #yandere zhongli x reader #genshin zhongli #yandere zhongli #zhongli #zhongli genshin #zhongli x reader #yandere male #male yandere #tw yandere #tw angst

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bigassmoonchild · 7 months

Note

(Slides a 20 into the ask box)

How do the boys react to dealing with a stubborn S/O who will deliberately do things if they have asked multiple times just to get the other hand

Rubbish need taking out already did it

Washing up need do already drying

Like real petty

( not based on real life events of today .......)

god, i love this. i will always take a 20, but my writing will be free for today <3 (this may not be based on things i've had to deal with as well, woopsies. i'm also absolutely having a stroke trying to type this, i can't spell today??)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley:

he tried his best. you couldn't put it past him, he really did try a lot. you were just also incredibly petty, but sometimes he really did lack in these types of things.

'si, can you wash up the dishes for me?' you asked one night, slipping away to take a shower after he gave a sound of acknowledgement. he hadn't really been paying much attention, focused on the little puzzle you had brought for him from your family.

it was 500 pieces, so you really couldn't blame him. you had your own fixations, and god forbid someone try to take those from you when you were in the middle of it.

half an hour later, you came back out. 'simon, please don't forget the dishes,' you called out to him and disappeared for some time. he wasn't sure how much time had passed before he rubbed his face with his hands, trying to wipe away the frustration of not being able to get the pieces to fit together.

he finally stood up to stretch and go to do the dishes. when he walked in, the sink and counter were spotless, the dishes sitting in their drying racks. his brows furrowed, a little confused.

he glanced in the bedroom, seeing you sitting there while reading. 'lovie, did you wash the dishes?' he asked, watching as you gave him a faint nod. he hummed, getting ready for bed and not entirely thinking about it.

when he left for his run before you woke up, he made a note to himself to put the dishes away. he unlocked the door, sliding his running shoes off and taking a quick shower before coming back out to the kitchen.

there you stood, the dishes all put away and his tea being made, your coffee cooling down on the counter. he gave another little hum, giving you a quick kiss on the temple as he finished off his own tea.

you glanced at the kitchen, squinting a little at the rubbish. 'si, could you take out the rubbish for me?' you asked and he nodded at you, watching as you stood and took your own shower. you came out and went to the garbage, pulling it up out of the bin.

simon stood, grabbing the bag out of your hands. 'lovie, you asked me to do this. I'm going to get to it,' he whispered and pecked your lips, tying it up and taking it out. when he came back, he washed his hands. 'you just need to give me a little more time to do these things,' he told you and you nodded.

'i'm just so used to exes not ever really doing them. it's easier for me to do them and make sure they get done,' you whispered to him. he pulled you into a hug, resting his chin on your head.

the two of your sighed deeply, your arms finding their way around his back. 'it's okay, sweetheart,' he whispered. 'i'll try to get them done when you ask, but i just need time to get things done,' he kissed the top of your head. 'when i'm home, i can take time to get things done. it's nice for me,' he added. you nodded carefully.

Captain John Price:

honestly? he was probably the best about getting things done when you asked. sometimes, though, especially right after a mission he would lack at it. you tried to understand, but it was getting tiring.

'john, i really need you to clean the cats littler today. rubbish gets picked up tomorrow,' you said to him and he glanced up at you from the couch.

'i've got it, honey,' he told you and you nodded, bidding him goodbye for your work day. john had just come home from a three month mission, and found himself drifting on the couch as he watched shit tv.

hearing his phone buzz, he checked it to see a text from you. litter needs to b edone! we might need to get some more before cleaning it. he responded with a simple 'of course, honey'.

drifting once more, he briefly heard the door open and close, felt your lips press against his head and the blanket lay over him. when he woke up fully, he saw you walking back into the room and going into the kitchen. the water ran and he heard you turn it off. probably washing your hands.

he stood up fully, placing the blanket on the back of the couch and going into the bathroom where the litter was. it was clean, and the cat (mr. muffins you'd lovingly named him, but he rather liked to call him dipshit) was blinking up at john.

walking out to the kitchen where you were standing, he wrapped him arms around you. 'i would've done the litter, just fell asleep a bit too long,' he whispered and you hummed to him. he helped cook dinner, choppign some of the vegetables and adding them to the pan when you'd needed.

he made sure to wash everything he'd used, placing them on the rack to dry. he served himself a plate and yours as well, placing them down to ensure you had the warmer food. the two of you ate, quietly talking about things that had happened during the day. 'i think dipshit took another tumble off the bookshelf,' john told you and you laughed long and loud.

shooing you off to take a nice, long shower, john washed the dishes and put them off to the side to dry. he crawled into bed with you, holding you close to him while you drifted off.

he woke up late the next morning, finding you in the kitchen sipping on some coffee. the dishes were put away, and you gave him a little smile.

cupping your face, he pressed a kiss against your lips and looked you in the eye. 'if i start something, i'm going to finish it,' he whispered and you nodded softly.

Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick:

'kyle, there's some clothes in the wash. i need you to move them over to the dryer in an hour!' you called out while walking out. it was the day you'd go out with your sister and enjoy yourselves. take some time away from everything and just relax.

he called back to you, 'i've got it, lovely!' and you left. you called him, explaining that today was going to run a little longer than normal. you also double checked to make sure that he was going to swap the loads over, and he gave you a little confirmation.

he didn't have it. to be completely honest, he forgot all about it until well after you'd been home. 'how was tonight, sweetheart?' he asked and you told him all about what your sister had said. some new information about the latest guy she was dating, something about her friend having a kid.

'oh! did you swap the load over? have you got it up here already?' you asked and his eyes widened. 'kyle, seriously?' you asked, sounding exhausted. 'it was one thing i asked of you today,' and he sighed deeply.

shaking his head, he looked down at you. 'i'm sorry. i forgot all about it, and that's my mistake,' he moved around you to go do it himself.

'no,' you huffed, placing your bags down. 'i'm going to go do it, it'll probably need to be rewashed because it might smell bad,' and you disappeared into the laundry room. he was annoyed, he understood that it sucked to try and have a relaxing day just to come home to more things to do, but you really needed to give him some leeway.

he was going to fix it, but you had to jump in and do that. neither of you talked that night, just going to sleep in silence. it felt wrong, to go to bed somewhat angry, but he wasn't sure what to say.

the next morning, you both sat at the table, drinking your drinks in silence. 'i'm sorry,' he spoke up finally. you just gave him a little grunt, not looking up at him. 'seriously, i'm genuinely sorry. i really just forgot, i didn't mean to give you more work,' he told you and you sighed deeply.

'i'm just really tired of picking up the slack where people forget or don't realize. i don't find it difficult to realize what needs to be done around the house, i juts need you to try harder,' you told him. he nodded, not promising to be perfect but promising to try. 'that's all i need,' you whispered.

Johnny 'Soap' McTavish:

when you walked in the door, he pulled you into a tight hug. 'hi, baby,' he whispered into your hair and pressed a kiss against it. you gave him a little greeting, allowing him to pull you over to the table. he'd set up a little after work snack for you, knowing you'd be hungry.

you gave him a little kiss, thanking him for the food. 'if you go for a run, can you bring the rubbish out?' you asked, giving him another kiss as he nodded and went into your shared room.

he put away the few clothes he'd still had left to put away from his mission, coming back out to see you putting the dishes away. for some time, the two of you sat together watching one of the shows you'd been watching together.

after the episode ended, you turned to johnny. 'don't forget about the rubbish,' you hummed to him and hopped into the shower. he took his time getting ready for the run, sitting on the bed with his clothes set out while he waited for you to be done.

you walked out and he pecked your cheek. 'needed to piss a river,' he whispered to you, briefly hearing you mention the rubbish once more as you walked away to your shared office. he knew you'd be doing an art project, one he wasn't allowed to look at.

quickly leaving the apartment, he took his time on the run. it was something he did to clear his head, something he did to relax. he spent a good thirty minutes on the run, looping around the different blocks of the area you lived.

when he came back around to the apartment, he found you outside tossing out the rubbish. 'oh, forgot all about that. woulda done it after the run,' and you shook your head, sighing deeply.

'i reminded you three times, johhny,' you whispered to him, walking back to your shared apartment in silence. it was quiet for a little while, the two of you just sitting there. he felt bad, of course he did, but he never meant for him to forget.

'i'm sorry, baby,' he said to you, hand reaching out for yours before you pulled away. johnny sighed deeply, groaning harshly. 'really? the silent treatment?' you groaned as well, standing up.

turning to look at him, you shook your head. 'i asked you three times. i just needed the one thing done, that's it,' you told him. he pulled you in for a hug.

pressing a kiss against your head, he rocked the two of your side to side. 'i really didn't mean to forget,'

#simon riley x reader #john price x reader #kyle garrick x reader #john mctavish x reader #task force 141 #call of duty x reader #no use of y/n #simon ghost riley x reader #captain john price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #ghost mw2 #price mw2 #gaz mw2 #soap mw2 #slight angst #cod mw2 #modern warfare ii #call of duty

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hyvksun · 13 days

Text

Beauty and a Beat ~ Lee donghyuck

bf!hyuck # drabble ,,, 1 ﹕ fluff ﹕ library

warnings : vulgar words, term girlfriend used, not proofread (just pure brainrot).

🐻 author's note ﹕this is based on a true story. for my finals in pe we had to dance rumba and chachacha and i swear i was sweating out of my mind. it was a group project but i still had to perform with a partner and infront of my classmates. enjoy this little drabble (my first fic back) while i rewrite the hyuck fic that tumblr just erased 🫂

“What if I just faint right now, would it give me a free pass for PE?”

“You'll be fine, bub I promise, so just follow me.” Donghyuck started off by showing you the steps for Rumba.

For your midterms in Physical Education, you were required to create and perform your own Rumba choreography. Luckily enough it was a choose your own partner thing and obviously you got to partner up with your boyfriend who is the best dancer you know.

“Hyuck, I dont know if I can even move my hips like that.”

“Sure you can you're just being shy, here,” He stood behind you, facing the mirror of the PE room, he held your hips in his hands and controlled them to move with his, “Your knees will bend on their own, you have to move your hips in figure eights, like this.”

Donghyuck is a strict dance teacher, him being one of the school's dance club vice president and student mentor you were nervous as this is the first time you'll be working with him in this field.

But maybe because he was biased and as his girlfriend he is being gentle with teaching you the choreography.

He kept doing the movement before letting go, “Ok you try.”

So try you did and it was awful, “I'm doing figure 1s, bro.”

Donghyuck tried his best not to snicker.

“Don't laugh at me.”

“Am not!” He's trying hard to hold in that laugh now.

“Ok how about we try to do the choreography first then we'll try with the hips.”

He began playing the song through the speakers and Donghyuck guided you into position. Throughout the routine though you couldn't get a hang of the steps and you commended him for his patience as you kept stepping on your boyfriend's feet.

“This isn't working, I keep stepping on you.”

“That's ok, here is the part where you spin,” he holds your hand up as you spot turn in place but when you try to get back into the first position you stepped on Donghyuck's toes harder making him groan.

“Fuck, I'm so sorry.”

“It's ok, I'm ok let's just take a break.” He went to pause the music and sat down on the bench with a hiss as he tried moving his toes.

Feeling bad you knelt down to rub at the sore area on Donghyuck's toes.

Feeling embarrassed you almost felt like crying. “Hyuck, I don't think I can do this,,,”

“That's fine, really, let's do something different for that part.”

You shook your head, “No I mean, I just can't dance— if you wanna pass the class you can switch partners I really don't mind—”

“What are you saying? grades isn't what I'm after here.”

“This is just so frustrating, I blame the education system.”

“Look, I'm not gonna look for another partner, I made the choreography specifically for us to perform.”

You looked at him confused.

“I was gonna kiss you in the end for the highlight,” a smirk was planted on his face.

Your face instantly heat up and you slapped him on the knee, “Are you insane?! I'm not kissing you infront of our teacher.”

He laughs, “I'm kidding, but seriously I wouldn't want any other partner to do this dance with, Rumba is about intimacy and connection with your partner, would you want me to get intimate with someone else?” you shook your head no, “Then I'm doing this dance with you.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you love me.”

“I'm not kissing you for any highlight, hyuck, I'm serious.”

“What about a quick peck?”

“Lee donghyuck!”

#ᰍ̠. . . . mel's crafts #🐻 mel's beloved : fullsun #haechan #donghyuck #lee haechan #lee donghyuck #nct donghyuck #nct dream haechan #nct haechan #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct 127 fluff #haechan fluff #donghyuck fluff #lee haechan fluff

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anime-villian-irl · 1 month

Text

Okay so occasionally I use a picrew (black centered picrew) to visualize how i think of the bat family becuase i cant draw for shit. But sometimes that image changes. A lot of the time. So welcome to "I really thought I ate with that." A series where I show my previous bat family pictures and my new ones along with my headcanons.

Let's start

Part one _ part two part three

Duke Thomas

Basic

I didn't even have any headcanons for you. He was just there

He looked like a basic black boy you could find on the side of the road

Duke Thomas

Now this ain't perfect. But it's how I see him right now

He gives out free n word passes as a joke

Has almost burned down the mansion

Blames minor inconveniences on racism

Was acab before acab was cool

He/they

Calls Cass their twin and insists their identical twins as well

Has been told he looks just like Bruce ( no he doesn't)

Has been told that they thought he was Bruce's bio kid

Loves giving out sarcasm but can't understand when it's given back (he just like me for real)

That is the face of a murderer

People have infantilised him before so he purposely gets into more fights just to stop them

#batman #dc comics #bruce wayne #detective comics #batfamily #damian wayne #jason todd #duke thomas #cassandra cain #cassandra wayne #alfred pennyworth #tim drake #dick grayson #richard grayson #stephaine brown

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swannieluv · 2 months

Text

⁀➴ My (Not So) Failed Valentine – Ajax x GN! Reader

╰┈─➤ In which after seven years since a failed confession, two childhood friends reunite close to Valentine's Day. Are things going to end well this time, or will the past repeat itself?

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐜: 7K

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: Crying, self-blaming.

✦⸼࣪⸳ A/N: That's my first time writing a fic bigger than 3k and for romance. I tried my best so I hope you guys can enjoy reading it! <3

✦⸼࣪⸳ Comments and Reblogs are highly appreciated! <3

The calendar marked January 14th, 2024. There was only a month away from Valentine's Day, a perfect date for many, a day where you can confess your buried feelings to the one you love, and receive chocolate for free from the people around you; is there anything more romantic than being truthful about your feelings on the day of love?

For [Name], February 14th could also be seen as a cursed day for those who don't share the same feelings as a dear one, and instead of love cards, those people would only receive nothing but pain and sorrow that would create scars that would last years (if described by a rejected teenager). And sadly, they were one of those involved in a case of unrequited love.

But as the years pass by, people also grow older and wiser. At least, that's what they've been telling themselves to excuse their lack of romance. Just the thought of all those red and pink heart decorations and stuffed bears were enough to make them cringe.

Every single Valentine's Day for them was marked with platonic gifts reserved for those who really mattered. There was never once a romantic intention coming from them, which was something they felt very self-conscious of.

It wasn't like they were the “Valentine's Day Scrooge” or anything like that, they held their friends and family dearly. It's just that they never got the appeal for romance that was daily broadcasted on TV, making them question themselves if there was something wrong about the way they saw the concept of love.

[Name] could still recall those moments during childhood where they couldn't help but be kind of ignorant about their friends rant about their crushes and imaginary scenarios. There were even moments in which they faked having crushes on the “popular” boys in middle school, just to convince themselves that they indeed had a thing for someone just like the rest of their peers.

And unfortunately, they could say it was what would lead to a few quarrels caused by their lack of empathy for their friend's love life. But it never made sense for them, like, if you don't like the way your boyfriend treats you – and you've already talked with him about it – then why bother staying with him? Can't you just kick his ass out and move on?

But now, as an adult, they have a better understanding of relationships. Or at least they now knew not to meddle in someone's life choices – though [Name] does agree some of them were dumb as hell and makes them rethink about their own choices.

And with a month away from Valentine's Day, [Name] felt like they could peacefully start their new job at designing cards for the big company she had the luck to join in. Although the amount of stress they go through isn't fully appreciated in the paycheck, it wasn't that bad knowing they now had a stable job for years to come.

The last thing they expected though, when stepping inside the meeting room, was to face their childhood friend – and failed valentine – Ajax, who was now their senior. Were their eyes playing tricks on them or was he really in front of them for the first time in like, seven years?!

They felt the urge to bury themselves inside a hole and not come out until the whole thing was over. But their nervousness surely didn't come unnoticed by him, whose face they saw lightening up slightly at the sight of the familiar face between the multiple people in the room.

They thought that someone working with an ex was the worst that could happen, [Name] had friends that could give them some tips if that was the case. But working with their last, and failed, valentine from high school was absolutely embarrassing to no end.

They tried to keep their cool and work as they should for the next few. It was a stable job, but they shouldn't let it hinder their work performance. But no matter how much they tried, they couldn't dismiss the pair of blue eyes that seemed to follow their every step.

And of course, they were there, 15 days left for Valentine's Day, designing cliche cards once again. [Name] wanted to do something nice, really, but their ideas were mostly not approved since the company had to keep a specific pattern or something like that.

[Name] couldn't agree more that working overtime wasn't really their thing, but sacrifices had to be made if they wanted to get better opportunities in the future. Perhaps one day things would get better, or so they hoped.

Except that [Name]’s worst obstacle was that it was extremely hard to concentrate when alone with him. Why did everyone leave earlier? Why couldn't someone else stay here too to break the growing tension hovering in the air? They felt like they were suffocating just by staying there.

As they finished the last cards for today, their sweaty fingers finally left the pencil. Was it their growing nervousness or the feeling Ajax's gaze was glued at them was actually right?

A few minutes later, they saw him get up from his seat to somewhere else. And just like that, they were going to furtively escape from the scene by the back corridors. No childhood friend to face, no emotional damage from remembering bad moments; just peace.

Or so they thought.

“[Name].”

They looked up to see a tall figure. A mature face, different from the boyish complexion they held so dearly in their memories. His fiery ginger hair and deep blue eyes that made him able to easily find in a crowd were still there, now present in an adult man. What they didn't remember though were the small freckles under his eyes, guess that's the effect time has in one's memories.

Their eyes scanned the name highlighted on his work tag, Tartaglia. He never used his first name around high school because of the jokes that came with it because of the fact it was taken from a hero's story. Seems like this fact hasn't changed.

“Tartaglia…” they read it out loud accidentally, and so their cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

“It's okay to keep the Ajax, I'm only going by my second name at work for now. But don't worry, I'm still the same old me you know,” his tone was playful as they remembered how it used to be, but there was something unnerving about it; a feeling of unfamiliarity they couldn't explain. So even the way they heard his voice was affected by the time? Because that's definitely not how they recalled his playful remarks at all.

“Are you willing to catch up with a nice dinner? I know a good restaurant nearby and— Oh, it's on me though.”

They spent a few seconds looking at him dumbfounded. “Still the same old me you know” their ass; Ajax would never, NEVER, offer to pay someone else's food. They always had to play rock, paper, scissors to get him to buy anything in the school's canteen.

They couldn't help but get nervous when the silence between them was starting to get too uncomfortable for their liking, so their only rational reaction was:

“Of course… so we can... dinner.”

They felt their heart calm down as they watched his grin widen ever so slightly, he was clearly overjoyed on the inside. And as he made his way through, he gave their shoulder a light pat.

“Perfect! See you tomorrow at 7 p.m. then. I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about.”

And so they were left standing alone in the white corridor. They didn't know if Ajax, or Childe, had truly gone insane or if he just had forgotten about the whole situation that made their friendship crumble in front of their very eyes.

[Name] went straight to bed as soon as they got home, no dinner or anything else that could have been done. That small interaction with Ajax had been tiring enough for their poor heart. Yet they couldn't help but wonder: how did things go downhill in the first place?

8:50 p.m.

Oh how much they wanted to stand him up, but that would be too cruel and uneducated of them. So they happened to be here, in front of him as they both dined together in a fancy restaurant. They tried to smile, yet the doubt of if he was really the same guy they studied with during their whole life was going to be the end of them. In their eyes, he seemed so much more mature and smarter than them, and they used to be the brains of the duo!

“Is it to your liking?”

They felt as if their thoughts were cut in half with his question; eyes going up to meet his own VA as the two shared a good portion of seafood, though neither of them shared a preference over food.

The more [Name] stared at those deep blue eyes, the more they couldn't help but notice how they had lost a bit of the light they used to hold.

“Yes. It definitely is,” they smiled at him politely before cleaning their mouth with a napkin. “I'm happy you remembered me. It's been… seven years.”

The last part left a bitter taste on their tongue as they fell back into their thinking. They hadn't seen each other in several years and now have to share a work relationship while carrying the memory of a long date friendship. Hell, were they even considered friends after all this time?

One could say the circumstances behind their severance were kind of frivolous.

“Do you really think I would forget my childhood friend that easily ?” Their eyes followed him as Ajax took a sip from his glass before opening a smirk. “A rejection doesn't change the way I see you, not even in the slightest.”

“Oh, I see…”

He chuckled at them for absolutely no reason, which left them thinking if he was laughing at them or something.

“Are you really going to laugh at me now?” They crossed their arms incredulously, their guard fell completely.

“I'm not laughing at you, I swear!” His voice came out laced with a laugh, making him less credible.

“Then what are you talking about, Ed Sheeran jr.—”

That was when [Name] realized they had messed up. It was common in the past for them to call each other names in a lighthearted manner, only for the jokes. But they didn't have the same level of intimacy as before, so it must have come out as rude.

“I'm so sorry…”

“There's nothing to be sorry for. It makes me happy you're being more like yourself, I was finding it strange that you hadn't cursed me yet.”

Their worries subsided as they saw the way his face carried a grin they hadn't seen in years. If anything, it was heartwarming to know he still held the same humorous personality behind his adult manners.

“But to see a sleepyhead like you working overtime… Time's really passed, huh?”

Sleepyhead? He wasn't quite wrong, they had the tendency to sleep on every single break. They did even skip lunch just to take a nap before those boring math classes.

“I actually… I want to buy new stuff for my house, so…”

That was the most idiotic lie they ever told in their whole life, and it made them want to hide under that table and scream.

“You want to buy sanrio merch, right?”

“...Yes. I want that Pochacco backpack so much.”

They felt like punching him when they saw the way he covered his mouth to muffle his laughter, which he was trying his best to suppress in order to not anger [Name].

Their grip on the napkin on top of their lap tightened. Though [Name] had a smile on their face, a few doubts crossed their head like a storm.

“Tell me, Ajax…”

His attention shifted completely to them, eyes focused on theirs as he waited for the next words that would come out of [Name]’s mouth.

“Why don't you resent me?”

“Have you ever done anything wrong in the first place?”

“...”

Their mind went back to February 12th, 2017. Two days before Valentine's Day and the day their friendship's downfall finally reached its breaking point:

“Not gonna lie, you're quite bad at it.”

They pointed to the paper with an exasperated sigh. Ajax's answers were quite dumb, as if he was purposely messing up his homework. But [Name] knew better than to expose his behavior in front of the class.

Ajax and [Name], the childhood friends who would soon become the perfect couple (if they could even be counted as one) in their class. Though they would quickly dismiss any kind of teasing from their classmates, always insisting they were nothing but good friends.

One may find it cute and wholesome when a whole class is determined to set such a pairing together; the chemistry existed and would be explored no matter what. But under all the matchmaking, was the pressure on them to just officialize an union. It was one thing when teenagers shipped a couple; but when adults did, that meant things were serious.

[Name] was tired of hearing jokes on how they would make a great partner to Ajax in the near future. As much as [Name] wanted to dismiss those comments, they couldn't help but give up every time they saw Ajax's embarrassed behavior. Sure, they both would get like that when receiving a comment like that. But the way his eyes softened and his ears reddened at the mention of the two as a couple was… interesting.

For [Name], that genuine smile from ear to ear whenever his mother would compliment them both was something they loved so much about Ajax, they didn't feel it in them to break his heart.

[Name] tried to like him back, they swear they tried to. Yet, those feelings they were supposed to have for him never existed no matter how much they tried. They did everything they could: put his photo as their wallpaper, learn his favorite songs, root for him in his soccer games, send him cute messages before going to sleep, talk about him to their friends in a loving way; they tried absolutely everything a teenager would do when in love. So why couldn't they feel the butterflies in their stomach whenever they saw them?

It felt overwhelming to have all eyes glued to them two, when everything [Name] wanted was to just finish this hell of an assignment. They hoped the teacher's ear would be burning from the amount of curses they mentally sent to him. From the whispers coming from the gossipers seated behind them to the stares of students from another class, it was getting exhaustive.

But the worst part was that he most probably held feelings for them. And the guilt of not being able to correspond those feelings was haunting their nights and leaving them sleepless.

As long as they knew, the two of them have been best friends since 8th grade. That was the main reason as to why they couldn't help but pretend to be oblivious to his recent flirting and small advances, they didn't want to lose a years long friendship.

They couldn't help but spent some time thinking if they were just playing with his feelings. They never said they liked him, but also never did the contrary. And the last straw was definitely when, two days before that year's Valentine's Day, when they overhead the following sentence:

“Haven’t you heard? Ajax's going to confess his feelings for [Name].”

They shook their head, snapping out of those memories and coming back to reality. They weren't in a classroom but having a friendly dinner with Ajax.

“I do think that—”

They were cut short by the waiter's sudden appearance. It happened that Ajax had called for him before they started that small discussion. In the man's work tag, the name Leonardo was highlighted. A cool name—

Wait, they shouldn't be distracted by a random person's name. They had to and would pay for that dinner. It wasn't a matter of wanting, but their pride was in line here. Letting Ajax pay would only add to their pile of regrets about him.

“I'll pay.”

His face instantly filled with confusion as he reached his wallet. “What are you talking about, I thought we had agreed this dinner was on—”

“You’re my senior, so it's only right for me to pay for this amazing food. Thank you for your guidance.”

[Name] smiled at him, their credit card already suffering with the food's price. They were crying on the inside, cursing themselves internally for their own pride. Maybe letting him pay was a better option for their pockets and heart.

And just like that, Ajax would have the dinner he wanted and they would get a high credit card bill at the end of the month.

“What's up?”

“Ah!” They jumped from their chair. What was with Ajax and giving people scares like that?! He really hasn't changed much since school.

[Name] quickly went back to their seat after feeling their coworkers glaring at them curiously. A mental note to take revenge on him was made as they finished typing on the keyboard.

“Please, don't give me a scare like that!” they whispered exasperatedly, a pout on their face.

“Sorry, I just came to check your progress. Let's just say those papers don't fill themselves alone.”

They felt his gaze go to their projects, which were scattered around the desk. The company's mascot, from which he secretly collected plushies of, was stamped in all those cards. Once the Valentine's Day decorations were ready, Easter would be their main focus.

“I liked this one, it has a nice shade of red—”

“It's pink.”

“Oh, right. It's definitely pink… you passed the test.”

They couldn't help but let a chuckle escape from their lips as Ajax's figure stepped out of their sight. And Ajax couldn't help but remember himself of what happened all those years ago and how stupid their severance was.

If there was something Ajax never understood, was why he and [Name] couldn't be treated as normal friends instead of a couple. There wasn't a single person in his life that hasn't ever shipped him and his best friend, to the point he had to hear those kinds of jokes from his own family. But it wasn't that bad, was it? He really liked them, after all.

“I'm so jealous of you, Tartaglia.”

“Hm? May I know why?” He couldn't help himself from raising an eyebrow at one of his peers' comments. Why would they be jealous of someone like him? There wasn't anything that special in his life other than being good at soccer.

“Come on! We all know you already have [Name] as your valentine! I've even heard them talking to their friends about the loveliest things regarding you, they're surely in love.”

Ajax felt his ears burning up after the comment he just heard. The truth was that he kept his crush on [Name] deep inside his heart; and it was starting to get bothersome to hear his friends talking like that once again, since it only added up to his anxiousness. But trying to dismiss people's comments always ended up in more headaches, so he just learned to accept them and play along with it.

He had always been trying to pretend he didn't notice how shy [Name] got after people tried to ship them both, their cheeks getting hot just at the slightest of compliments directed to the two of them was a cute sight. Maybe they did like him too, but he was never confident enough to ask them out. Not until now.

“I was actually thinking about asking them outs” he murmured as he finished changing back to his school uniform and getting rid of the sweaty soccer shirt.

But he should know they heard his words and were ready to spread the news that the couple everyone rooted for was finally becoming reality. And it didn't take much time for it to end up reaching [Name]’s ears.

‘Why am I thinking about it again? It's been seven years. Get a life, Ajax.’

He tried not to roll his eyes at his internal dialogue. The truth was that he didn't keep anything against [Name] anymore, perhaps it was for the better. But he does wish to make up for the time they lost, since they're still his only and best friend, even though they spent seven years without talking to each other.

February 13th, 2017

A few hours for Valentine's Day and their dread for the said confession was eating them alive from the insides. Was it just exaggeration on their part? They hoped not, because they were going insane just from thinking about having to reject Ajax in front of everyone.

There were two choices: reject or accept Ajax's confession, and they couldn't escape from them. Well they could just skip school and not receive any gift, but they had already bought their friend's chocolate and made cards for them.

And skipping wouldn't nullify the chances of it happening later. What if Ajax told them about his feelings another day? If that was the case, [Name] didn't want to stay bound to someone they didn't love. It wasn't fair for either of them.

[Name] opened the notes app and started typing what they would call Operation Val 2017. A plan carefully made with Ajax's best interest at heart, specially crafted just so he wouldn't receive too much of a heartbreak.

First, they would go on giving chocolates to everyone else they planned to. Second, give Ajax his gift; and last of all, they would politely reject his confession and say that their friendship was what mattered the most. It was a good strategy… no?

So [Name] confidently went to school, heart in their throat as they walked through the corridors. The whispering and excitement from the girls were enough to make [Name] even more nervous. They could swear their nerves would be the death of them someday.

They went with the expected routine of giving chocolate to their dear one's. But when it came for Ajax's, the courage to do so simply disappeared.

As they saw him, seated at his usual seat, their hands started to sweat and they felt as if their stomach had just dropped out of sudden. And when he saw them, his smile opened like sunshine after rain.

“Is it for me, sleepyhead?”

It was ,indeed, to him. [Name] placed the small candy box on his palms and gave him a hug, which made the whole class start teasing them. But before they let go, [Name] whispered in his ear:

“I’m sorry.”

Then, they turned back and went to their seat. They hoped it wouldn't be as bad as they supposed it to be.

Now that they think about it, the first half of that day hadn't been that bad. The chocolates they received were good, but ended up being eaten with tears rolling down their cheeks.

“So, can I have the honor to dance with you?”

“Huh…?”

A hand was extended in front of them, an invitation too formal to be coming from Ajax. That was enough to cut short their overthinking.

If there was something [Name] wasn't expecting to hate about the adult world while they were still a student were work parties, a reality when they have a job like that, and it was bothersome having to attend them just to appease their boss and be on their good side. Yet, [Name] was in a situation where they were going to do anything just to keep their stable job with reasonable payment.

That was when [Name] reminded themselves that they were in a work environment; so even if not immersed in those piles of documents and boring tasks, they had to make sure to not taint their reputation by standing still with a grumpy face.

So they silently took his hand and were guided through the saloon. Curious eyes falling on them once again, which started to make [Name] nervous. It was starting to feel too much like prom.

“Are you nervous?”

“Not much.”

They tried to keep their steps carefully calculated. Years have passed since their last shared dance, [Name] was definitely rusty and didn't want to end up messing up in front of him. [Name] was convinced to show Ajax that they were still good at dancing no matter what. Yet, the world wasn't known to help those in need, so…

They accidentally stomped on his feet.

“I-I'm so sorry! I—”

Their face flushed with embarrassment. They felt like shrinking and sinking into the ground, disappearing from his sight forever. But Ajax's only reaction was… laugh?

But what they were greeted with was his heartfelt laughter that caught the others’ attention. It was so genuine that it made [Name] wonder if he was laughing at them or if he was a freaking masochist or something like that. They had just stomped on his feet with their full body weight.

Yet, [Name] couldn't keep a nervous chuckle for themselves. Deep down, they needed a moment like this to clear a bit of their doubts about him. This moment made it clear as day that Ajax hasn't changed in the slightest, and they felt relieved with the clarification.

And so they decided to give in and dance to the slow song coming from the speakers. It felt like a dream, to share something like this with him after almost a decade of guilt from their ruined relationship. They thought that things were now going on the right tracks.

“I deeply apologize for anything I did to you in my past life.” he stated with a nervous smile on his face.

“Hm? Why?”

“... Nothing.”

They had a feeling that his feet were red under those fancy black shoes. The amount of times [Name] stomped his foot was enough for it to leave some bruises, though he did his best to hide the ache he felt. They didn't used to be that bad at dancing in the past, so were they holding a grudge so strong against him and decided to take revenge or something?

They felt their eyes glue to a waiter carrying around a tray with champagne. [Name] could swear they had seen that guy somewhere else, but weren't going to bother him; so they just took a glass of the drink for them and one for Ajax.

“Do you drink?” They extended the glass of champagne to him, who gladly accepted it with a nod of his head.

“I was thinking about… uh… are you free on Wednesday?”

Wednesday? Their mind set up alarms at the thought of it, after all, Wednesday was nothing more than Valentine's Day. Was he really going to ask them out like that? Has he lost his mind?! They thought he would never touch on this subject since their rejection.

“I don't… Yes, I am.”

[Name]’s eyes met his’ with courage in them. They wouldn't run away from it like in High School, they would face Ajax and tell what they truly felt regarding him. And if he didn't like it, so it will be! After all, they don't depend on Ajax to live. [Name]’s an adult.

“Good.”

They watched as he took a sip from his glass before opening his mouth to speak something, but it seems Ajax wasn't ready to say it. Not here, not now. So there was nothing they could do to prevent him from just leaving them there and disappearing through the sea of people.

And that was when Operation Val 2024 officially started.

February 14th, 2024

After weeks of preparations, they finally marked that day on their calendar: the expected Valentine's Day. And while everyone else spent the day of love sharing their emotions and deepest feelings with those they loved, [Name] just took the date as an excuse to sleep until late and binge watch NANA the whole day until the time to go out with Ajax.

Knock, knock.

They got up from their seat, fixing their hair

and clothes before answering the door. They had just a small candy box with a cute card, which they designed themselves, just for him. But what [Name] didn't expect was that he would actually come with a bouquet of daisies, one of their favorite flowers. How could he remember such a small detail about them?

“Happy Valentine's Day, [Name].”

They felt something grow in their chest at his words. He was such a gentleman now, huh? So [Name] just accepted his gesture and walked with him.

“Thank you, I hope you're also having a good day.”

And so they followed him to a park nearby, even though the sky was starting to close. But maybe Ajax was planning to take them somewhere else in case it actually rained, they knew he always had a plan B.

'The flowers hadn't fully bloomed yet, but it makes quite the scenery.'

Ajax took their hand on his with a small smile, though [Name] didn't know where he was taking him to.

"There's a nice lake after the creek, it has a pretty landscape. So I can take some photos for you if you'd like."

Well, here they were, trying to go through a small creak to reach a nice place to make a picnic. Though [Name] didn't want to wet their brand new shoes; they were limited edition, after all.

“Hold my hand tightly and jump.”

“I can't do it—”

“Come on! Jump!”

[Name] took a deep breath before giving the impulse to jump over the creek. Although they made great effort and had, it wasn't enough to keep balance. They both fell in the creek, but at least the food was in a basket he left on the ground earlier.

They felt like crying because of the shoes. The amount of money [Name] had saved to buy it was astronomical, like, really! They had just bought them..Though, Ajax definitely wouldn't let this day be ruined by a small accident like this. So he was quick to help them stand up back on their feet and take them out of there.

As they stared in his eyes, [Name] couldn't help but release the words that were trapped in their throat for a long time now.

“I’m sorry, Ajax. But you know I can't reciprocate your feelings.”

They felt their eyes wet from the tears that were threatening to escape. They told themselves that they wouldn't run away and leave things unresolved like in the past, but why was it so painful for their poor heart?

Ajax felt his smile dropping at their words. He tried to look away from them before listening to their words.

A part of him already knew the answer to his actions, yet there was still a sparkle of hope deep inside his heart. Was he being selfish once again? All he did was to try to compensate them both for that terrible day seven years ago.

“I'm not mad at you. I just wish things didn't happen the way they did… y'know.”

They both seemed to regret their actions from the past, sharing the same feeling of shame and anguish in their hearts as they looked at each other. Both of them had made mistakes and were still reminded about it.

...

For the last step of Operation Val 2017, they made sure to bring him to somewhere the two of them could talk in private. Unbeknownst to them, there were eyes watching their every single action.

“I’m sorry, Ajax. You probably already know this, but I don't hold any romantic feelings towards you. Our relationship is purely platonic and—”

“So it was all just false hope?”

False hope? They definitely never gave him any kind of advance for it to be considered like that. It wasn't like they ever flirted with him or do anything that could lead to that kind of assumption.

Their eyes watched as his ace contorted into a pained expression as he had been hit by the hard reality that their best friend didn't actually hold any kind of emotion towards him, the complete opposite everyone else thought. From what they knew about him during all those years, he definitely disliked the sound of it, the rejection being too real and in front of his eyes.

“False hope? What are you even talking about?” They couldn't help but frown slightly, not liking the turn this conversation was taking.

“You…”

Click.

[Name] heard the clicking sound of a phone from afar, and that alone was enough to made their stomach drop. That meant they have never been alone with Ajax, there has been someone watching them this whole time.

From what they could see behind him, a small crowd of students were peeping through the small window on the classroom's door. And to worsen the situation, they were recording the whole thing.

On the other side, one of their own friends gave them a thumbs up, as if trying to communicate about something. And that was when Ajax noticed it all and felt like the ground below him was crashing down.

“So… you planned all of this?”

They couldn't help the widening of their eyes, it wasn't how things were supposed to end like! In their plan, there wasn't supposed to be anyone by the door, not recording or listening to anything they said.

They could swear they saw tears in his eyes for the first time in their life. His face carried the hurting he felt after being made fun of by the rest of the class.

“So they did end up rejecting him, huh…” they listened to the whispers that came with small chuckles, followed by the sound of a playful smack “Ouch! I'm just stating what happened! Just look at his face.”

From the corner or their eyes, [Name] saw him turning around to leave as he heard it, but grabbed his wrists before he could run away from the not so empty classroom. As they did so, the little heart box he was carrying around fell; small chocolate hearts rolling out of the package straight to the ground.

“Ajax, you know I would never do that! I'm your best friend, after all!” their voices came out in a pleading tone.

“Do I really know that?”

They didn't miss the crack present in his voice, and that's what hurt them the most. It wasn't in the plan for him to feel like that.

So [Name]’s own strength failed as they saw burning tears streaming down his cheeks, which held a complexion of anger and disappointment. The twilight rays helped to create a sentimental demonstration of his feelings that were never seen previously. If not before, [Name] was now sure their friendship wasn't going to rebuild itself again.

They felt his wrists slipping out of their touch in a rushed way as Ajax stormed out of the room, leaving them behind to pick up the candy pieces on the ground. And as they crouched down to gather them, the people at the door bombarded them with multiple questions.

“Did you actually reject him?”

“That was so cruel of you!”

“So you won't be together?”

And like that, their last Valentine's Day ended with the loss of a friendship and the start of years of self-blaming. For almost 6 months, their sleepless nights were spent thinking about what they could have done to avoid this whole disaster.

For the both of them, Ajax and [Name], the next few months before graduation would be always marked by the growing distance between the two. They had tried to talk to each other, but the shame and guilt blackened them from doing so.

Ajax really tried to clear his head before saying anything else he would regreat, the realization of what had happened weighted on him deeply. [Name] was just trying to dismiss his feelings in the best way, and he knew it. Yet, his pride didn't let him reach them.

So whenever his gaze met [Name]’s, they would instantly look away and pretend nothing happened. Ajax really thought that he was the one who deserves a proper apology, when it should have come from both sides.

But he couldn't leave his academic life behind and decided to just focus on his studies and sport. One could say he had got over it and was living without a single regret.

And so as to [Name], they couldn't face him. They really tried to call his number or talk to him after class, but couldn't do it. The picture of his tear-stained face was left in their memories forever and would haunt their nightmares for the following days.

Yet, they knew time wouldn't wait for them and the graduation day would finally come. No amends were going to be made and it was obvious for [Name] that Ajax seemed to be taking it quite better than them, so they just decided to forget it and live their own life after high school.

And to [Name]’s knowledge, that was how Ajax and their lives would follow from now on, or so they thought.

“How can you forgive me so easily, Ajax?”

[Name] couldn't refrain from asking him that. If they were in his shoes, they would definitely hold a grudge against themselves. So why was Ajax so forgiving like that when he was the one who had been most hurt?

“Because I know what our flaws were at that time.”

They felt his fingers lifting his head so as to meet his eyes. Instead of the hurt look that used to appear in their nightmares, there was only affection.

As they tried to find something to answer him, their body was wrapped in a tender embrace, much different from his old bone-crushing hugs.

“I should have left my pride behind and tried talking to you. Yet, I was stubborn and believed you should be the one who owed me a proper apology.

“So when I saw you again, I felt like I had to make up for my past mistakes; but it's not like I'm using you to feel better with myself, not even close to it. I just want to make sure we both don't end up carrying regrets for the rest of our lives…”

[Name] could hold it anymore. Their eyes became waterfalls with the countless tears that fell from them. But they didn't feel embarrassed because of it.

“I-I wanted to talk to you again, I really wanted to but—”

“It's okay, take your time.”

Ajax patted their back as if trying to calm a baby down, and it was helping. He could stay there the whole day waiting for their answer, it didn't matter.

“I’m so sorry…”

They couldn't think of anything reasonable enough to make up for their past actions. But Ajax could see their effort lying behind their crying face, he had been their best friend for years. So even if they couldn't tell it with words, he understood them.

“You don't need to love me, and I don't need to love you too.”

They felt the wind on their face, a soft breeze. And it was when Ajax separated their hug gently, leaving them staring at his face while their eyes burned from all the crying.

“As much as I want to stay as your friend, I don't want us to be haunted by the memories of the past. You'll never see me in the same light again, just like I'll never see you in the same light too.”

[Name] knew it was true. As much as they wanted to stay his friend, the fact that broke their friendship had left a deep scar in their heart. And they would never reciprocate the love he still held for them somewhere under the best friend facade.

It was only safe for the two of them to keep things as cold as possible, even though it hurt them greatly. He was right, after all, they couldn't even look at his face without reliving all the stress.

“For you.”

A small pendant was placed in their palms, a rose pendant. They were confused, really confused, but decided to open it. As they did, [Name] couldn't stop themselves from letting another tea fall after seeing the inside of the small object. A photo of them two in their middle school years adorned it, precious smiles on their faces as their figures hugged each other.

“Happy Valentine's Day, [Name].”

They felt like they needed to thank him in a special way before parting ways. So they approached Ajax and took his hair out of the way to his forehead, planting a peck on it.

“Happy Valentine's Day too, Ajax.”

Now, they wouldn't have to carry that guilt with them. They were free to try to love without the fear of being a hypocrite. It was their first Valentine's Day in seven years, and they wouldn't trade it for anything else in this world.

But as they saw Ajax's silhouette going out of their vision, carrying the picnic basket they didn't use, the feeling of losing something forever came stronger than anything else. Maybe they wouldn't have a friendship like before, but nothing stopped them from being coworkers.

[Name] would see him again at work, so why couldn't they stop the tears that fell from their eyes as the first raindrops met their skin? They felt as if they had lost a big prize in the lottery.

Yet they shouldn't be sad because it ended, but happy that it happened. New beginnings awaited them, just like the daisies in the bouquet warned.

"Goodbye, my now not so failed valentine..."

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